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thebearme · 4 months

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Any tf2 headcanons?

I was hoarding this ask for when I have alot of hcs but I now realize that that was an awful idea becuz now there too much going on in my brain. So I'll tell you the ones I can remember rn.

(btw this is gonna be a mess of silly and sad contention into a blender, so sorry for any whiplash)

Everyones business last name is TF2. It's canon, Ms Pauling said so.

Scout and Ms Pauling have one thing in common, they're simps for women out of their league and it's sad.

My current idea of the plot is that Ms Pauling is now the new administrator and the mercs are still working for her but now instead of a war they are now a Hire-A-Merc organization. Why, so they can pay the blood pact that the old administrator got them in from Abraham Lincoln.

The team is a merge for BLU and RED team members.

BLU: Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engineer | RED: Heavy, Demo, Spy, Sniper, Pyro

Engie has an gaming channel.

Engie is a little person. (you can't convince otherwise LOOK AT HIM)

Engie does his own surgery, not that he doesn't trust Medic. He just doesn't trust Medic. He has more trust that in his drunken state he could chop his arm off cleaner than Medic because of his god complex.

Engie says trans rights.

Engie has two moods: Wholesome bumpkin or manic "i am better than all of you".

Medic and Heavy are married. (but to be fair thats just canon)

Medic never had a medical license but he did go to school... for animal care.

Medic has a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree and lied ALOT to military when he got drafted to get out safely.

He got a nazi skeleton and dead parents out of that.

Medic burn his documents so now the only people that knows is the people he tells like Heavy.

Medic only have two reasons for being here- 1) to experiment on everyone. 2) Heavy

Medic eats like a cat eating a dragon fruit. And so does Archimedes.

Medic is the definition of "no rules no boundaries he doesn't flinch at torture and sells blood for money. He's your new best friend."

Medic is slowly going more insane with time and can't tell if it's because he sold his soul to the devil or because someone is secretly fucking with him. (it's Spy)

Heavy met Medic before joining the team.

Heavy has a cooking channel.

He's a masochist. (he has too if he's with Medic.)

Heavy will kill Soldier before he starts having kids with Zhanna. He's still not ok with him.

Heavy has lots of cute moles on him. (Medic makes sure to kiss each one and make sure they're not lethal.)

While Im at it Heavy family is cursed to fall in-love with insane men.

Pyro-vision is just Pyro going through a heat stroke.

Pyro is the leader of the hate spy club.

Pyro has kids that live in the ocean with his mermaid wife. Don't ask how, it's Pyro.

Engie and Scout are the only ones that understand what Pyro is saying completely.

Engie adopted Pyro unofficially but that's his son right there.

Soldier and Zhanna are gonna have twins.

Soldier and Demo had kiss once- with their socks on.

Medic did a blood test on Soldier and he actually is not 100% American, he doesn't know and everyone intends it to stay that way.

Soldier and Scout actually know each other from before getting hired by BLU. They were comrade in the 100,000 new men program in Vietnam.

After Scout left in general discharge from a land mine incident he thought that would be the laat time he sees him. He was wrong.

Don't worry they're chill, well as chill as man can be when their hand is somehow a magnet to your neck.

Sniper is a social smoker.

Sniper is like a lizard, he doesn't fuck with the cold.

Sniper is younger than Scout. He just spent too much time in the sun and now he looks like a divorce 40 y/o dad struggling with his mortgage. Or just a brown Adam Sandler.

Sniper got those old man bones AKA my bones. His knees be cracking down the hall.

Sniper hops round different peoples places for the holidays. He spent the most time at Engie's house with Pyro; he had spent a Christmas or two with Scout's family but a "certain someone" doesn't appreciate the bushman there and ruining his holiday with his family.

When Scout has to give directions or details of the area he just draws it. Because NO ONE understands this mans writing.

Scout's life mission is to be Gods greatest gift and not just for the women. Like the bible said "a hole is a hole"... or atleast thats what Scout remembers from church.

Scout while being illiterate CAN speak Spanish, Italian, Vietnamese and French. (but he doesn't remember where he learned french from tho.)

Scout is resistant to radiation at this point.

Before becoming a merc, Scout was working at a diner that fitted him quite well.

Waffle House at the graveyard shift.

Scout's fuckboy attitude comes from daddy issues while Spy slut attitude comes from mommy issues.

Spy came from a rich family until he ran away to help in the war effort and became a spy. He doesn't regret his decision nor miss his home but does wish he did a proper goodbye to his brother.

The reason Spy has teeth capsules in his mouth to begin with is because one time him and a his fellow spy were getting torture by the enemy by having their teeth removed. Now all his teeth are fake.

Speaking of teeth, Scout got his buck-teeth from Spy.

Spy HAS gotten lungs transplanted several times from Medic because this mf refuses to chill out and get help with his smoking problem.

Spy is gender fluid.

Spy is a furry.

Demo is going to kill him one day.

That day is when he finds his DA account.

#ask #team fortress 2 #tf2 #team fortress 2 headcanons #tf2 headcanons #ms pauling tf2 #heavy tf2 #sniper tf2 #demoman tf2 #medic tf2 #spy tf2 #soldier tf2 #scout tf2 #pyro tf2 #engineer tf2

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sn0wp1anets · 2 months

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my take on the black family

ok disclaimer this isn’t going to be super detailed with evidence and quotes from the books because a) i haven’t read them in a while b) all my energy is going into school rn BUT i try to adhere to canon as much as possible and reference it wherever possible

this will be split into these main parts:

abuse + dynamics

politics + ties with voldemort and DEs

wealth + status

CW: abuse mentions, general bigotry

ABUSE + DYNAMICS

THE ABUSE

imo right now most portrayals of the dynamics of the black family, especially surrounding sirius + regulus and later on draco a bit are really black-and-white, and lack the nuance that already exists in canon. there is a common trope of the black family, especially walburga black, being very physically abusive to the point of using unforgivables (the cruciatus most often, but i have seen imperius use too) on sirius and regulus- that there is no love between walburga+orion and their sons.

i disagree with this for several reasons:

a) characters, espcially in a dynamic that is clearly affected by generational trauma are complex and morally grey, and it is unrealistic that walburga weas simply a disney cartoon villain who just enjoyed inflicting torture on her children.

b) there is a quote by kreacher that says that walburga’s heart broke when sirius left- although it is more than likely that kreacher was exaggerating as he was very attached to walburga, it still makes sense that walburga loved sirius to some extent- he is her son.

c) it is canon that there is emotional + psychological abuse, and most instances of these abusive dynamics happening irl are the result of messed up/twisted ideas of love, generational trauma, etc. for example, sirius is referred to multiple times as being a disappointment, and this would probably be due to a combination of the fact that sirius was against the fundamental bigoted values that the family is firmly rooted in- and actively acting against them publicly- humiliating them and their family name and legacy, and the fact that sirius would have disappointed walburga+orion by not conforming to their ideal of a heir. therefore, there treatment of sirius is likely because they wanted “more” for him, and wanted him to fit into their predetermined familial dynamic, rather than just calling him a disappointment for no reason (which makes no sense).

d) there is no canon evidence for physical abuse ever happening to any members of the black family HOWEVER, i believe it is very plausible that there was some degree of violence in the households, but this would probably not have been things such as the cruciatus curse (if it was that extreme it doesn’t make sense that it has never even been implied in canon), but instead minor hexes, or boxing(?) ears, etc. it’s also possible that there were punishments such as being withheld supper, or being made to stand in a corner for extended periods of time (i personally think this is what happened: and it would’ve been done under a misguided notion of teaching resilience and dignity and self-discipline, which seems very in-character for the family). these types of abuse would have been unfortunately quite common for the time period- and walburga+orion would’ve mostly likely viewed them as a form of discipline, punishment, or even ‘tough love’ rather than a genuine attempt at harm. (i am not in any way defending this type of abuse, this is an explanation on how this dynamic would’ve been seen during the period and in the situation)

e) sirius himself says to harry that the reason for him leaving is because he hated them and disagreed with them, rather than being kicked or driven out, or under so much physical torture that he had to leave. the breaking point of him leaving the family was most likely, imo, an argument with the family, and probably comments towards not just himself but also at james (because we all know he is kind of obsessed with him, and would defend him over anyone else).

SIBLING COMPETITION

walburga and orion comparing sirius and regulus in a very harmful way is canonically confirmed: sirius says he is reminded often that regulus is a better son than him.

do i think that the parents always favoured regulus? NO.

sirius is, in canon, probably one of the most powerful and smartest characters in the series. he is a powerful magician that can keep up with bellatrix in duels even while out of practice, he became an illegal animagus while still a teenager, he was part of creating the map and the twin mirros. he is also extremely intelligent, and it is pretty much outright stated that this comes very naturally to him: he is described as exceptionally smart by the teachers, he finds all his exams easy despite never studying etc etc. so he was most likely very bright and gifted from a very young age. he was also the oldest son, making him the heir. this creates a very clear dynamic between sirius and regulus, sirius is the perfect heir, more intelligent, more gifted than regulus could ever be. while it is also true that he has always been independent, and even rebellious (he happily talks abt breaking black tradition on the train with james) he would’ve been preferred by his parents and received lots of attention and favouritism. regulus would have been the spare. although his parents probably liked regulus better as he was more obedient, sirius was the heir, they were proud of sirius.

the problem comes in when sirius is sorted into gryffindor. the black family have traditionally always been in slytherin, and there are clear ties between the house of slythering and wealthy, high-status pureblood families, like the blacks. this is when sirius begins to step out of the mold as the perfect black heir. i personally do not think that sirius’ house was the singular reason while he becomes a disappointment and outcast of his family, but i do believe this event acted as a catalyst. the real problem arises when sirius begins to become dealigned with the values that he grew up with, and he starts to go against his family’s values and politics, and he does so publicly. he befriends well known blood traitors (james potter), half-bloods (remus lupin), muggleborns, and people from families that would not have been highly regarded by the blacks (peter pettigrew). he comes home from hogwarts and starts rebelling against his family by hanging up gryffindor colours, putting up photos of muggle women, and probably getting into disagreements with family members over their bigotry.

there is a common trope of regulus feeling upset at this because he wants to stay with sirius etc. and while i do think they had a relationship as brothers, i believe regulus would have secretly enjoyed sirius becoming more of a disappointment in his parents’ eyes. they are now embarrassed of sirius, and proud of regulus. when sirius left the family, would regulus have been sad? yes, probably, they are still brothers, still family. yet sirius’ departure changes the dynamic completely, in regulus’ favour. sirius is gone now, he isn’t just the embarrassment, he is no longer the heir, regulus is. regulus now has his parents’ undivided attention (i would say love, bc i believe they still loved sirius, but obviously he has just left them so like…), after being the 2nd choice for years and years of his life. regulus is just a child (14?15?) he would have wanted to be loved by his parents, and this is his chance.

ik that people either say that regulus was forced to become a DE or that he did it as an act of rebellion (more on this later). i personally HC that he genuinely was an extreme believer in voldemort’s views, especially as having seen first-hand the way that sirius left him and their family after deciding to go against the views. still, at 16, i don’t think it’s very likely that he joined at such a young age out of pure political views, rather as another attempt to be loved and valued by his parents, and to make himself more different from sirius.

i also think that the dynamics between the black sisters were equally as toxic and harmful. i don’t have too much material to work with, but anyway. after andromeda left, it was .just bellatrix and narcissa. we know that during the era that the books take place, the two have quite a close relationship- they spend time together, use nicknames, seem close generally, however, it also seems kind of strained? or like a bit off idk how to dsecribe it. anyway. i think as children/teenagers there was A LOT of comparison between the sisters, i think especially between andromeda and bellatrix; first, on the surface level, they are described to look very similar to each other, so subconsciously people would be likely to compare the two of them together, and think of narcissa as a separate unit because of how different she looks. secondly, i hc adnromeda and bellatrix would have been very similar in personality and skill: they would both be ambitious, outspoken, very very powerful and intelligent. (narcissa would also be really smart but in a more cunning, discreet way, compared to the two). as a child, i think narcissa would’ve been more obedient, more conforming to traditional gender roles and ideals of a noble, pureblood woman- following from this, i think she’d be more well-liked and more praised by druella+cygnus, the ‘perfect’ daughter. from this, i’d say that andromeda and bellatrix were closer as children, and even later on, until andromeda leaves the family. with andromeda gone, it is just bellatrix and narcissa- they’re both blacks, both intelligent, both powerful, but are so completely different from each other. where narcissa is strategic and restrained, bellatrix is bold and blunt. where narcissa is haughty, bellatrix is arrogant, etc etc. this then relates to how later on, narcissa fulfills exactly what is expected of her: she marries into one of the richest (probably THE richest? if im being honest) wizarding families, she has a son, she is smart and she keeps her family close, and most importantly she works from the inside- this is what the blacks do, and this is something bellatrix cannot do. bellatrix also marries into a rich wizarding family (the lestranges), but then she joins the DE- and furthermore becomes Voldemort’s right-hand not on account of her family name but her power. this causes problems for one main reason: she is now high-profile, and her hands are ‘dirty’ in a sense; the blacks work from the inside, they may agree with voldemort’s ideas, but they would never fight alongside him- they’d pay for the masks but never wear one themselves.

FAMILY RELATIONS

i think by now it is a relatively widespread hc that bellatrix’s favourite cousin was sirius and narcissa’s was regulus. i actually love this hc- i think bellatrix and sirius are mirrors of each other; they have very similar personalities in that they are both arrogant, bold, independent, and most of all they are intensely loyal. bellatrix to her family, sirius to james. sirius, as a child, thinks bellatrix is very much The Shit, he is happy to be like her. they look down on their “soft” siblings. when sirius becomes disillusioned with the family, that’s when things change, because sirius is no longer bellatrix’s parallel, he is andromeda’s, years later, sirius and andromeda are on the right side of the war- they’re proud of this, but one cannot escape their own blood, they are still blacks. when andromeda gets mistaken for bellatrix, when sirius, after decades, looks back at himself, they see bellatrix and they fear they are no better than her. narcissa on the other hand is regulus’ parallel- they are obedient, they grew up in the shadow of their louder, more powerful sibling, and they know in the eyes of their siblings they will forever be the ‘soft’ ones.

i think the previous generation is also interesting in this regard. unfortunately i do not have the brain capacity to understand who is actually related to who because they’re all inbred. i wonder tho; were cygnus and druella jealous of orion and walburga? they produced a male heir to the black fortune, in fact, they produced a spare too. were they actually happy- when sirius left, when regulus joined the DEs and died at 19? that would’ve left bellatrix as the heir(ess), surely. and also alphard is so interesting i wish i had enough energy to look into this more but i do not so.

POLITICS + TIES WITH VOLDEMORT AND THE DEATH EATERS

THEIR VALUES

toujours pur. always pure. the fact that this is their family motto makes it very clear that purity is at the centre of their values. i think in fanon this is kind of tunnel-visioned into just blood purity alot- and while yes, blood purity is a big part of it, i think this is referring to the isolationist nature of the black family- their inbreeding, their social circles. obviously there have been others married into the family, and they are selectively chosen, they will forever be outsiders in the eyes of the blacks. druella black, to them, is still druella rosier. (i can’t think of more examples, which honestly just shows how isolated the blacks are as a family/house). sirius mentions to harry that the blacks were convinced they were some kind of wizarding royalty- whether they are actually of this status or not, i think this is a good example of how the black family functioned- the way normal people are received by the royal family and even the press when they marry into the family.

obviously bigotry is a large part of the black family, mainly blood purity, but i’ll talk about that in the voldemort part. regarding other types of bigotry, although not explicitly stated i think it is pretty clearly implied? for example, sirius is a very queer-coded character, in regards to his family experience. i imagine the blacks have very traditional conservative values, and i think it’s interesting to see the politics of the uk in the 70s and 80s reflected back in the family and the wider scene of the first wizarding war at the time. although i can’t imagine the blacks caring for matters that they probably considered to be very muggle-centric, like feminism, and queer rights, it’s interesting that the first wizarding war- essentially a fascist movement that promotes the supremacy of purebloods coincides with the rise of social conservatism and thatcherite morality, which is largely family centric, which i think makes sense actually? with the black family at least, who care about purity as a means of protecting their own. (if this is incoherent im sorry its 4am)

SUPPORT FOR VOLDEMORT

it’s pretty much stated that the black familyas an institution has basically the exact same values as Voldemort and the DEs. i truly dislike the hc of walburga and orion forcing the dark mark on regulus , and trying on sirius, or even encouraging the idea of joining the DEs because

a) the blacks are a noble, generational-wealth type family. these types of families do not get directly involved in conflict, they are not on the battlefields, on the missions. it’d be unlike them to get their hands dirty or be involved with the DEs in any incriminating way. (if they are caught somehow i’m sure they have good ties to the wizengamot, but the blacks are calculated, they are strategic, they would not want to risk their own blood being spilled, especially in a state of war when the ministry is being headed by people such as moody and barty crouch sr.

b) they would believe it is below them. they don’t concern themsleves with such trivial matters. the blacks are haughty and arrogant if nothing else. the DEs ranks include werewolves, half-bloods, and those from less-respected wizarding families. getting involved would only taint the pure, the pristine reputation of the family.

although they are privately in agreement with voldemort, the blacks would not want to physically lift so much as a finger to support his cause. i do not think they would have liked regulus’ involvement.

do i think as a family they were involved in the war? yes. perhaps not in a physical way, but in OOTP we get a close look at 12GP, and what we see is that the blacks have unparalleled access to the dark arts, dark magic, knowledge, and wealth too. this was probably the extent of the blacks’ involvement with the war (except for bellatrix, regulus, and sirius ofc), and it would only be to further their own interests.

WEALTH AND STATUS

WEALTH

the blacks are extremely rich. this is likely all generational wealth, they are old-money. we can see this through how we do not know anything about where their fortune comes from, it’s certainly not from the hard work of orion, or cygnus. i think a good family to contrast them with is the potters- though they have several prominent ancestors, these ancestors are not wealthy- at least enough to last them through several generations. the potters are rich, but they are part of the nouveau riche- their money primarily comes from fleamont potter’s invention of hair potions; the potters are businessmen! the blacks are simply wealthy.

however, it’s also noteworthy that the blacks were probably wealthy in a combination of connections, status, and estates rather than actual, physical money. in canon, the black vault is well guarded and important, but not as deep or grand as the lestranges’ family vault. many families with generational-wealth are actually not as rich as one may expect, or are even declining, which may be the case with the blacks, especially if you compare the state of 12GP to other homes such as the malfoy manor. yes, 12GP is their traditional home, and has ancient magic etc. but it cannot compare to the size and grandeur of malfor manor, which is a good indicator of their actual financial state.

STATUS

so the blacks obviously were of high status: described as one of the oldest, wealthiest and most prominent families in the wizarding world.

i see some things about the sacred 28 being all nobility and aristocracy- however, in canon, this is literally jsut a list written up by a member of one of these families, and in fact, some of the families such as weasley and gaunt were not of significant financial status. but i do believe that having the claim of being a pureblooded family gave the blacks some type of status, especially among the blood purist families/cicles. the blacks also tend to be intelligent and powerful (sirius, bellatrix, etc.), which helps further to elevate their status and i also hc that they’re all really hot so that helps too. i do think out of tradition, and just because blacks are probably the longest-standing pureblood line, and are connected with every other significant line, the black family are the most highly regarded or prominent wizarding family; linking to sirius’ claims that his family believed themselves to practically be royalty. there is no wizarding royalty, and although the blacks are not the outright wealthiest, due to their status, fame, political power/influence, etc. they are probably as close as you can get. however, the idea that you can get close to being royalty may be problematic, but we also have to remember that the wizarding world mirrors the muggle world- the monarchy is constitutional and they have no real power other than influence- which is what i think the blacks have. sirius’ phrasing, though, is kind of indicative of the idea that maybe the blacks were a little delusional, and perhaps believed their status to be more inflated than it actually was- we don’t actually have any solid evidence of the blacks being of higher status than the malfoys, or the lestranges, or the rosiers, etc.

#the noble and most ancient house of black #hp meta #sirius black #regulus black #bellatrix black #narcissa black #andromeda black #walburga black #orion black #druella black #cygnus black

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kraro-school-life · 2 months

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✦ 5. 3. 24 ✦ 📓 ✦ Tuesday ✦

🌱🌿🪴 - 46 min on Forest ♫₊˚.🎧 ▷▷ Wolves in California - Blind Channel

✧⋆｡✎ (longer text) diary?

I need to remind myself to take a deep breath sometimes, because there is just SO MUCH of everything going on rn.

I had to make two different presentations today in an hour each and present immidiatly after. (I don´t think I truly comprehend how exhausting 8 hour school days are lol). Then I had the pleasure of attending the last (yay) psychological torture English cretificate course lesson. After getting home rlly late I thoroughly enjoyed reading and summarising a philosophical theory and text. At 10 fucking pm. I have nothing against Philosophy in general, but I DO when I have to fight myself through it with two braincells left after the day.

And it´s just a bit overwhelming for me; I don´t have energy left for anything else - everything feels rushed. I don´t even want to think about all of the ongoing projects that need to be worked on. I just want time to figure stuff out. I just want some time to sort my many thoughts. It´s just one of these phases again. It´s gonna pass eventually.

Have a great day/night !! ~ ♦️

#studyblr #studying #student life #study blog #study motivation #study inspiration #aesthetic #karoriginal #karodiaries

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sweetdees-gf · 1 year

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VENT!!

TW: Psychosis, (child) r*pe, m*rder, cannib*lism, p*rn

psychosis is really fucking scary. I thought I killed my cat and lizard. I thought I was dying. I thought my family had abandoned me and been replaced with special agents trying to send me to jail. I kept asking hospital staff “are you staying? will you stay with me?” because I thought my family had left me. i thought I was being filmed at all times. I thought my family was watching from cameras telling the nurses and patients what to do next in order to torture me. i thought my dna was being collected for evidence so I tried not to go to the bathroom or touch anything. I thought I was being accused of canib*lism, p***philia, r*pe, and m*rder. I thought my little brothers were being “played” by child actors. I thought I was being poisoned with rotten food. I thought all the nurses were trying to sleep with me. I thought all the male nurses were trying to physically restrain and hurt me. There was another psychotic patient there and I believed that I was communicating with him and that he was being punished in the same way I was. I thought I was on a movie or TV set and every one in the hospital was an actor being told to act like people from my life or characters from my favorite movies and shows to try and appeal to me to get information. I rejected visitation from my father because I believed he was the ringleader of it all and when he came around it meant I was being arrested. I thought I was being sent messages through music and tv. I thought certain programs were carefully curated to mimic my life and talk to me. I thought the books they were giving me were AI generated. I thought they were giving me child p*rn to read. I thought they were just finding the most racist shit possible and giving it to me. I thought everything in the books were metaphors for r*pe, beasti*lity, racism, or child r*pe. I thought everyone was in on it, everyone I’d ever met , my school, my family, I thought every moment of my life was leading up to them “catching” me.

#psychosis #mentalwellness #mental illinois #mental instability #mentally disordered #mental heath issues #mental health #shizophrenia #phsyco #psychotic episode #psychotic disorders #actually psychotic #psychotic break #psychotic symptoms

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littlest-bugz · 2 months

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current hyperfixation? (feel free to infodump!!)

YIPPEEE!!! This made my day FR!! Thank you, mutual <3

ANYWAYS

This is kind of embarrassing, but I’ve been deeply invested by my own OCverse for going on 8 years now. Its my Special Interest, which sucks because,,, im the only one who can make content of these stinkies,,,,,

I really find it hard to hyperfixate on anything else because of the fact Ive been invested for so long (except for Web Design and coding, which I wont infodump about, since its literally all for these stories, deadass).

It is not fun at times because 1) all the characters live rent free in my head and criticize how I write them in my novels [that DID life] and 2) its SO hard to make new projects and get attached to them. Ive been trying for 2 years to make a horror project out of one concept but I seriously cant get fully invested and it SUCKS. Let me make my silly little horror web series damnit!!!!! (@ my brain)

I have 3 novels and one fantasy series im working on so,,,, Infodump time >:3c

TWs: Terminal Illness + brief mentions of (mental institute) hospitalization, murder, war, and some others that I’m not 110% sure the exact tags for them (basically kind of cannibalism, but between nonhuman species). Other than terminal illness, they’re super brief mentions, but still proceed with caution.

Right now, I’m working on one of the books I’ve been writing for nearly my whole time writing. Ive been only working on it since feb 1st (it’s, like, the THIRD draft tho).

Blurb about book

Melissa is a bassist in a rock band she formed with her high school friends. Just as her, and her friends’, career begins takes off, she gets diagnosed with a terminal illness. With a month left to live, and a shit ton of unfinished business, she invokes her best friend’s patron deity who is capable of miracles, Flip. Melissa and Flip make a pact to keep her alive until her business is over, but oh no! Melissa has caught the eyes of another god, and a pretty shitty one at that. How is she going to make her last months peaceful if she’s being hunted down by a god?

The working title is called “Ensuring Your Spot In Hell” because Flip is, essentially, a demon in the universe (rules an infernal ring of hell- it means I would have to explain the worldbuilding around hell and its A LOT), but titles are!!! So hard for me!!!

A list of random facts about the book™️ because I don’t want to write full paragraphs bc I can go on forever if u ask me to:

Flip’s name is a shortened version of his actual name, Fli’pyek. Furthermore, the domain Flip rules over is that of Wrath and Violence

Trinity (Melissa’s childhood bestie, and the friend that worship’s Flip) is a hereditary witch and pagan. Her family has been worshipping Flip and practicing witchcraft for several generations! They literally have their own holy book (generational BoS/Grimoire/whatever u want to call it).

Melissa had been sick with the disease™️ since she was 16. She just neglected the shit out of her own health (me too bestie, me too). It easily could have been prevented if she went to the doctor back when she was, at least, 18 years old, max 24.

At the time Melissa is diagnosed with her terminal illness, she’s 26. By the time she was supposed to die, she would’ve been freshly 27. Has anyone heard of the 27 club theory before? Or is it just an obscure reference I made LMAO

Melissa has extended biological family that worships Flip! It gets super awkward when Melissa visits them with Flip lol

The other primordial god that Melissa finds herself in a predicament with is named Ama, the god of Cruelty and Torture. Not a swell guy to get mixed up with, that’s for sure!

Melissa has an orange and white cat named Cheddar!

Flip always smells like whiskey and freshly cut tobacco. At all times. It’s bc his blood smells like it (and tastes like it too, but why are you tasting it? /j)

Any other facts might be getting into spoiler territory, BUT!! Thats the one Im working on rn, in February. In January I worked on another book, but that one honest to gods might be too triggering for this acc for an indepth thingy like the book I just did. It’s being rewritten to not be so triggering, but bc it’s a throw up of some of our trauma, it’s not an easy task to censor it.

REGARDLESS, Here’s a rundown of ALL of my main novels (minus the one I already talked about)

The Case of Twin Woods [mystery, drama, crime] (the one i worked on January)

Chastity hates her life. She hates her shitty job, she hates her shitty friends, and she hates her shitty family. After opening up too much to an online friend about her chronic suicidality, Chastity gets taken to Twin Woods Mental Institute, the state’s mental institution. There she befriends an eccentric group of patients, then finding out something terrible might be going on with the head warden, Leon Bellamy. She takes it upon herself to find out and solve the mystery, but she may have bitten off more than she can chew.

Untitled One (but leaning towards the name of ‘Jealousy’ or somethin idk) [drama, romance, crime]

Mia has a quiet life. She works at a library, she fosters cats, and by all means, has what could be considered a ‘boring life’. One day, she gets laid off from her job under the excuse of “cutting costs”, leaving her without a job and severance. While scrambling for a job, she finds one at a local cafe, the most frequented one in the city. There she befriends one of the regulars, a cold, quiet man named Zander, and after she unknowingly helps Zander’s brother, she becomes significantly closer to him. However, her boss, a bitter ex of Zander’s, hears about their ensuing closeness and decides she doesn’t like what’s going on. One failed dinner party and murder attempt later, Mia is left scrambling to hide that she killed Angelina in self defense. Will she be successful in hiding the murder? Or will the justice system make quick work of her?

Untitled Fantasy Series (has about 2 actual novels and 3 novellas… a possible third novel too) [drama, romance]

book one

Since his birth, King Sunshine has known his fate. He is to be sacrificed for the greater good of the realm he resides, killing his oppressive father, but losing his life in the process. It’s a prophecy that has been laid out since the beginning of Racktokian history, one King Sunshine was never able to escape due to his father’s unspoken rage at his own murder. After meeting a Vurtock for the first time, a species his father only used as cattle, Sunshine finds himself quickly entangled in a plot to overthrow his own father to liberate the Vurtockian race. He knows what he has to do, but it isn’t easy.

book two

The great war tore apart the country King Sunshine called home. His father left no stone unturned from his rage, and public opinions split the people. In the rubble of his home, he builds a new country founded on the importance of the civilians, only to be elected as a King in place of his father. Living in the palace he always called home, but had tried to escape, he finds that his father keeps sending assassins to make attempts on his life. One assassin, a vurtock with nothing to lose, hits a soft spot in Sunshines heart. After deescalating the attempt on his life, he offers the vurtock to stay in his castle until they’re able to find the proper resources to help him build a life in the new country. Far away from the oppressive dictatorship of his father. Yet, as his guest begins to stay for longer than intended, he sees that yet another step in the prophecy will begin.

Despite how the second book blurb is written, it’s more from the vurtock’s point of view than Sunshine’s. I just had a total brain fart.

The novellas for the fantasy book follow the POV of other important characters, such as the ruler of the Vurtockian rebellion, the POV of other rulers. For a while I wanted to write one from Raphaël’s POV, but I decided it wouldn’t be worth writing a whole book about a piece of shit finding joy in the pain he causes. Like, no thanks, ill pass.

Theres a possible 3rd book that would essentially be an extended epilogue, since the prophecy doesn’t stop at Sunshine’s death. I just haven’t thought as far as the 2 books and 3 novellas, in terms of outlining the books and stuff.

I honestly could give TONS more info on the fantasy books because that part of my universe has been around nearly the whole time Ive been writing. I have maps of the world, maps of countries, maps of even just cities, house and castle layouts, moodboards, art. Visual references galore. Not to mention the playlists for each character + each book. I also made a document called “The Remian Bible” because it has everything about the world in it, including the alphabets of the languages, grammar structures for said languages and literally 5 holy books for the religions even tho they wont evEN BE TALKED ABOUT IN ENOUGH DEPTH (why did i do that to myself /lh j/. It doesn’t help that I still want the write the holy books in their native languages… oo,,, and imagine writing the actual novels in the native languages,,,,). It’s honestly kind of,,, surreal how much time Ive put into this world 🧍 Like??? Damn,,,,

BUT YEAH!!! Those are all the books that take place in my ocverse + some other info!!! The things that are my hyperfixation,,,, My own books and world LMAO— The books don’t include half of the ocs in my ocverse tho, so thats where the website im coding comes in. It’ll have short stories based on the backstories of various characters on it, and Yes, even the background characters will be on it bc Im fucking bonkers and fleshed them out, even though some of them are in one scene for 2 minutes.

That being said, if anyone, or u mutual (if u read this wall of text), found any of this interesting, or wants to read even just the prologue of any of these, DM me!! I’m always looking for beta readers!! Or people to talk to about it too, that’d be fantastic. I really need beta readers, so seriously. DM me if u want to read my cringey stories!! I can give better in depth tws too!!!

EDIT: I need to mention that I go through spurts of hyperfixating on only one book or series. Thats why its both my hyper fixation AND my Special Interest

#i also have art of 90% of the ocs bc im an artist #littlest_bugz og #original characters #original writing #book writing #creative writing #writing #what tags would I even use dawg?? idk idk

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r0ttingsystem · 8 months

Text

North here and I'm about to rant about system stuff, enjoy

I'm going through survivors guilt rn, kinda

I just read the experience of a system with an extreme persecutor and just

I don't know, thought about everything

We don't have many internal conflicts, it's peaceful

Right now I can see the people in the front room

Yellow and Tommy are gossiping about each other's crushes

Grumbot is drawing for his best friend

All our small littles are in the corner napping

Grian and Dani are to either sides of me, zoned out thinking about their partners

William and Steven are talking about school, since both of their sources are being students

Will is trying to see what other cool thing he can do with his new body, since him and commet fused into a subsystem

John is on his chair sleeping

Mary is just laying down under a whole bunch of blankets asleep

Blarg is cleaning up the headspace living room thats connected to the frontroom

Everyone else is doing their thing, drawing, talking, writing, sleeping, going in and out of their rooms

I'm just here

Trying to comprehend everything

Thing to make sense of all of this

Why are we peaceful? How can we sit here doing our thing while other systems have to deal with so much in their innerworld

Hell, our 'worst' persecutor is sleeping in a wooden chair cuddling a plushie and a music box

It doesn't help that I'm one of the only ones that can remember/care about our past

When I formed our system was a mess, everyone physically and emotionally torturing each other, we were Trying to hold ourselves together by a thread. Everything was loud everything was so god damn loud

But now it's just, quiet

Sometimes that bothers me

Why can't it be loud again I was used to be running around being one of the only ones willing to help the system

My brain is still in that mode

That I can't relax, if I do something bad will happen

But I know that nothing will happen

I know I can just lay down and take a nap for a while

I can't do my rounds? Rowan will be happy to run around headspace to check everything, he's a dog he'll be more then happy

Something going on in outerworld? Grian and Lio will take care of it

Something going on in innerworld? Again Lio could help, or if anyone needs advice they can ask dani

I know I can relax

But the thought of relaxing makes me more anxious then I can put into words

I feel like I'm the only one of a generation that has survived

The only ones from our "old system" that are still here are me, Mary and commet ,I guess will counts too cuz they share a body now, madness, misery and some more people I don't currently remember

But it doesn't bother them like it bothers me

Mary couldn't care less, commet/will too

Madness and misery don't remember much of anything really

And then there's me, it's my job to remember and to care about it, I have a whole office full of all the system information I can gather, which is most likely 1/3 of everything

And I don't understand why I'm at peace with that

Why do I like doing my job? Why does it calm me?

am I just a secret autism holder who's obsessed with information? Likely XD

Ah, that joke reminded me my job used to be a comedian, and I fucking hated that

I don't understand any of this and I'm trying to be at peace with that

But it's so hard when I'm obsessed with information to the point I beg people to let me rant to them about our system

I don't know where this was going but, thank you for listening to me

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her-satanic-wiles · 3 months

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lmao i love it when things that happen in my life eventually end up as kinks, like my parents really sent me to catholic school from age 8 to 15 just for me to end up thirsting after that damn rat loving satanic clergyman (whom i'd gladly invite to desecrate my school's chapel as a fun little date)

(also the little dracopia thing you wrote yesterday?? on my hands and knees rn the horniness is consuming me)

-french anon

Well, they say that our childhood traumas and general environments influence our kinks. Like, I was bullied a lot as a kid and didn't really experience any romantic attachment in my formative years so now the idea of someone being so feral for me they can hardly contain it is top tier, chef's kiss. Also apparently kinks are hereditary.

I have a lot of Dracopia fics planned in the future so I might work that little scene into one of them - or just write it entirely. I'm in my vampire era again so like... gimme all the Gothic, tortured, bloodsucking, horny, undead men.

#mel answers #french anon

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cptsadist · 1 year

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God pls pls PLEASE infodump abt Hauer, he's SMOKIN

Oh God this might get long so I apologize! I'm just gonna put everything I can think of rn here!

TW: Animal death, mentions of death

Dr. Stefan Hauer

Hauer was born in Germany into a rich family, his father being a prominent figure in the town he was born in. Hauer always had an interest in death and would inspect dead animals when he found them, and this quickly escalated to him killing animals and bringing their bodies home. His parents got concerned and took him to a psychiatrist, and at the young age of nine, he was diagnosed with sociopathy, or antisocial personality disorder. His father, however, didn't want it to get out that his son was "mentally ill", so he kept the diagnosis from being placed on Hauer's records and simply pulled him out of public school and had a tutor homeschool him.

This only worsened Hauer's mental state as he grew an even larger emotional disconnect from others since he only interacted with his parents and tutor, as he preferred to stay home and read books rather than go out and play. He also wasn't allowed to play with any neighbors' children as his father didn't want people finding out his son was different. Hauer was homeschooled until he was a teenager and he went to a public high-school. He was often picked on for being a very isolated man, but the harassment didn't get to him as he was intensely focused on his studies, taking up an interest particularly in anatomy. He graduated at the top of his class and was offered many scholarships and he decided on a university in the US. He moved and lived on his own and studied for a doctorate, which he earned sooner than expected as he was far ahead of his peers.

He initially wanted to become a surgeon but he couldn't find any sort of opening for any jobs, so he ended up getting himself a job as a medical examiner, and his love for death was rekindled stronger than ever. Eventually, his father passed away and Hauer gained a very considerable inheritance, which he used to quit his job and start his own research.

Hauer bought an abandoned building which he converted into his own lab, and he began to piece together his prized creation. He would lure people to the building, then kill them and use their parts to build his creation. And soon after, he created Ralph.

Once Ralph was completed, Hauer began to experiment on people, taking notes and documenting every detail about them. He would torture them, see how they respond, and document.

OTHER FACTS:

- His name is pronounced "Steh-fawn How-er"

- He is very high maintenance. He likes expensive foods and drinks, he keeps his appearance well kept, and his house is very neat.

- He is completely blind in his right eye due to Ralph throwing a tantrum one time and flinging hydrochloric acid into his face.

- Ralph also attempted to rip out a chunk of Hauer's shoulder once

- Hauer's first language is German, his second is English. He has a very strong and thick accent, making it hard to understand him sometimes. He also doesn't know certain English words and will simply replace them with the word in German and hope you get the point

- He also suffers from premature graying. It's unknown why, but he has streaks of silver in his dirty blonde hair

- Hauer is very close to Egon

- He dislikes Trance

- Hauer also has a God complex and shows signs of narcissism. He sees himself as being above others and boasts that he is much smarter than those around him.

- He has a blog on the dark web where he posts about Ralph (experiments and their results, observations he has made). He also posts about his general experiments as well with pictures and sometimes with video. He interacts with other people with similar interests and exchanges observations

- Hauer practices expressions in the mirror before he goes out in public so he doesn't stand out too much.

- He gets frustrated when he doesn't understand an emotion that someone is showing. A lot of his experiments he does so he can try to understand why people react certain ways to try and help himself, but he still has a hard time grasping certain emotions.

- He is physically weak but orders Ralph to do heavy lifting for him

- Hauer actually has dimples! But he never smiles enough for them to show. The most he ever does is a light smile

- He doesn't have any social media (other than his dark web blogs) and the whole idea of social media is ridiculous to him

#hauer #stefan hauer #captainsadist #gamedev #cptsadist #murder sim #murder oc #murder ocs #oc #rip your heart out #ask cptsadist

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stem-procrastimate · 2 years

Text

[updated: 07. 04. 2023]

"You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know"

(caution: this can be awkward)

Hey, I'm ava (not irl name) and this is my new studyblr and here are some things about me ig

Personal:

I'm 15

I'm in 10th grade

and I'm indian (my first language is English, but my "mother-tongue" is bengali)

ravenclaw/ slytherin

entp

chaotic academia but I don't know about classics much (i'm still learning)

bisexual (but still by myself *sad laughter*)

I have adhd, anxiety and depression hahah (diagnosed)

procrastinating by writing this

Interests:

drawing/ art in general

books (I like thrillers and romances, especially enemies to lovers)

listening to music (fav artists are taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, girl in red, niall horan, louis tomlinson)

writing

researching about social stuff like feminism and lgbtq community

Debating (a lot) but also public speaking in general

Coding/ programming

School stuff:

I live in India so I follow the Indian cbse system

We have four exams: periodic test (pa) 1 (40 marks each subject), midterms (80 marks each subject), pa 3 (40 marks each subject) and finals (80 marks each subject)

We also get a grade on each subject per exam (A1, A2, B1, B2, C1, C2, D1, D2, E) based on our marks percentage

My subjects are: maths, physics, biology, chemistry, history, geography, political science, economics, computer, 2nd language (mine is bengali) and English (which is 1st language as I mentioned before)

From 11th grade we can choose different subjects but that's not my problem rn

indian school year starts from april

My fav subjects are physics, history, maths and english

Career/ University goals:

previously wanted to go to MIT, Princeton, Harvard or Caltech, but that plan is canceled for financial reasons

Wanna be a space scientist at ISRO/NASA

Planning to study stem in college

Colleges I wanna go to now: IISc and IIT Bombay

Goals in general:

Be more confident and less socially awkward

Improve my grades

Eat healthier ig

Not procrastinate and learn to manage time

Improve calligraphy (mine's good, but not awesome)

Things I love:

Cats. Always cats.

Space

Mythology of around the world

Really deadly animals (my fav animal is titanoboa, so you get it)

Saturn

Unknown deep sea creatures

Murder (jk, but I have very intensive knowledge of poisons, creative methods of torture and burying bodies)

Inspirations:

@studyquill

@starrystvdy

@shythecheesecake

@mogsbiosciencejourney

@cactusandstudies

@revisign

So, yeah, that's kinda it ig, so byee <33

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lemonade-juley · 1 year

Text

It's like 3:30am but I feel like making the Rejuv oc mutuals sad. Do ya like angst? Do you like the fictional lil characters experiencing horrible trauma? Well rn I'm gonna drop some info about Anya's past life trauma and how that trauma tortures her in the present despite not even remembering

Trigger warnings for general bullying and other abuse related to bullying. Nothing like, super incredibly detailed or anything but I feel the need to put a warning here. Also if you think I should add anymore trigger tags feel free to tell me

Anyways-

Anya had very severe bullying growing up from a young age up until she ended up dying. She may have had a very loving family but the bullying was intense and she hardly had any friends. A lot of that bullying ended up effecting her big time, and carried over even when she was revived to be made into the Interceptor. That bullying tended to include several things.

-Anya was always considered "weird" and a "nerd". She liked reading and playing games and enjoyed learning and always had good grades in classes. She really liked cat Pokemon a lot, and always wore cat ears because of that and it was an interest she had her whole life even in the present. She did a lot of stimming and the like, and she's always had sensory issues, especially with touch (she always wears gloves because sensory issues in her palms were awful), and Anya was for most of her life, only semi-verbal. Kids are brutal and frequently picked on her for these things. Anya was generally seen as annoying and weird and "too quiet". Teachers and other adults didn't really do anything, and Anya unfortunately convinced herself that she'd just get into more trouble and more bullying if she told her parents. Since she was never physically assaulted (or at least assaulted enough to leave any injuries. She did get pushed down a few times), and her already present difficulties speaking and general shyness were present from the start, her parents also unfortunately never noticed her deteriorating self esteem and growing depression.

-Also, Anya was easy to make cry and frankly still is, plenty of times bullies just bullied just to get her to cry.

-Anya didn't really make many friends, and those who did also got targeted by the bullies, and would end up distancing themselves to avoid it even if they actually liked Anya. She was generally very lonely and tried to avoid doing anything that would put more attention on her, which means she avoided extra curriculars or other after school activities over those fears of getting even more bullying. As Anya got older into middle and high school, her bullies started to get into habit of doing pranks and the like to get her embarrassed. Anya was victim to several "getting fake asked out" pranks, usually pranked by people she actually had a crush on (usually found out one way or another and got spread by rumors). And Anya frequently got "friends" who only really befriended her to convince/force her to do stupid things because Anya was easily duped. Unfortunately all this led to Anya having very bad trust issues and constantly being afraid that her friends can and will just drop her like an unfavored toy or something. It's gotten marginally better with actually having good friends in the Rejuv crew, but the fear of her friends just abandoning her is always in the back of her mind. Getting a crush on Erin felt awful to her because she was afraid she'd end up being the same as her previous crushes. Thankfully and obviously this wasn't the case, but it was a constant fear.

-Anya feels the need to try and hide her stimming, or try and force herself to go without. Frequently made fun of by peers or scolded by adults for doing things like flapping her hands and the like really put her into a mindset of trying to hide anything like that. The most she does usually is maybe play with some object in her pocket or something. Again her close friendships with the main cast help her come out of that she'll, but it's rather slow.

- as for Anya's eventual death in her past life, it actually happened because of the bullying even though it technically was an accident. She fell victim to yet another getting fake asked out by a crush she had, some girl she was actually starting to trust and be close to was only doing so to get the best reaction she could out of Anya from the prank... This caused Anya to break down and just start running away while she was being laughed at. Unfortunately Anya, in a state of crying and barely looking where she was going, ended up running straight into the middle of a practice field where a Pokemon battle was going on. She got hit straight on by an Electivire's thunder punch and was flung full force into a wall. Anya died from her wounds extremely quickly, but the only thing on her mind as she faded was the betrayal of trust and a horrible feeling of relief.

#anyways those are sad Anya facts with jubey!#lemon rambles #oc: anya💙#tw bullying #pokemon rejuvenation

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sizhui · 7 months

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Honestly i do see your point with the post about fanfiction, but on the other hand having been in fandom spaces since very young (probably too young to be honest) I've just come to absolutely distrust fanfic writers (especially on ao3 because well. I'm sure you're well aware of the culture on that site) because on multiple occasions i have been hit by random unexpected graphic (very clearly fetishistic) depictions of abuse in works that seemed pretty solid otherwise based on the summary alone; incest fans are especially egregious for including that aspect with no warning whatsoever in what seems like an otherwise interesting story about two brothers from the summary alone, so like... as much as i agree that we don't need to tag every single generally harmless detail of a story because it significantly dumbs it down and ruins the experience it's also true that whenever i have branched out and tried reading stories that seemed interesting from the summary alone and had a minimal amount of tags i ended up getting bitten by one of my biggest triggers so i feel like... i might as well just read actual published literature (which i do regularly for fun and for school) when seeking something more challenging and with unexpected elements since the culture around fanfiction is just too rancid for me to trust fic writers to tag the appropriate amount and not just deliberately hide "problematic" (=abuse fetish) elements to jumpscare people for fun. So it's like yeah you have a point but it's a bit of a conundrum since a lot of fic writers aren't actually into this to say anything constructive. I'm sorry if it's worded badly English isn't my first language and my tone sometimes doesn't come off great through text so I'm not accusing you of anything or being confrontational. Anyway i hope you have a good day o7

I get you honestly, but I purposefully didn't touch upon the toxic, abusive CULTURE around fanfic and ao3 which actively protects harmful fetishizers and real abusers too - because that's a whole other very serious conversation to be had. My post sought to discuss fanfic purely as a type of watered-down, half-premade story and how it affects the way readers interact with original fiction. I did not discuss the huge problems with illegal content being hosted on fanfic sites because to do that i would have to sit down and write for a long time with utmost concentration, which I have neither time nor will for rn.

I will however say that if my post came off as "keep reading solely fanfic, just without tags, to chaenge yourself" then i failed to express myself correctly. I absolutely meant to convey that the primary focus of every reader should be published original fiction and nonfiction, because the things you can get out of them you won't find in any fic, since the fic culture and system is already established and truthfully a 3 note post will never affect it.

However, though I too havr major triggers, I am not averse to the practice of writing fanfic. I firmly believe that there are just as many perverse individuals among writers of original stories as there are among fanfic writers - abuse fetishism isn't unique to people who write about cartoons, they just got themselves a huge website where they can publish their works for free and expose an audience to it, so the problem gapes open and very obvious. However, there are thousands of people who use writing as outlets for their sick sexual fantasies who have never touched fandom spaces - it's just that you'll more rarely stumble upon their works because it's not as easy to publish them professionally (though look at shit like a song of ice and fire... i find it just as distasteful as some third grade torture porn fic) in conclusion, I don't really think that fandom spaces breed weirdos, i think they just give them an outlet and a spotlight. I may be biased because i've been into writing character studies and alternate endings to stories i liked since i was young, i just dont elevate those so much and call them proper literature and hide behind them like annoying ao3 aunties do.

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