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#rosekiller and regulus
kittyblackout · 1 year
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Hc that Evan and Regulus were friends before hogwarts and thoroughly corrupted Barty :)
Evan was just a little menace, and Regulus was just like a concerned parent, but lived for chaos when it was just the two of them.
And poor Barty, son of a politician.
Smart, studius, innicent, naive, perfect son, etc.
His dad told him to make connections at hogwarts, he had no idea what he was getting himself into.
He got sorted into slytherin. And made friends with said menaces.
And Barty being this sheltered child. Did what he was told.
Met Evan and Reggie at 11.
Went, fuck that. Ima do what I want.
Him, Evan and Regulus having a Sirius, James, Remus dynamic.
Sirius/Bart = the corrupted.
James/Evan = the corruptor.
Remus/Regulus = actually corrupted them both, the mastermind, never gets caught, smarter than both put together.
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bloodbruise · 5 months
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the bitches traumatized by saltburn would never survive the fics in my ao3 history
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not-rab · 8 months
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Sirius: I don’t think I can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.
Regulus: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is.
Sirius: What- no!
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moondustinfj · 4 months
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Barty: From now on we'll be using code names! I'll be "eagle 1"
Barty: *points to Regulus* Reggie is "been there done that"
Regulus: 😑
James: hey now-
Barty: *points to Evan* Evan is "currently doing that"
Evan: *smirks and highfives Barty*
Barty: *points to Remus* Remus is "happened once in a dream"
Remus: *lifts an eyebrow*
Sirius: *offended gasp*
Barty: *points to Dorcas* Cas is "if I had to pick a girl"
Dorcas: *snorts* in your dreams Crouch
Barty: And Dora is
Pandora:
Evan:
Dorcas:
Regulus:
Barty: "eagle 2"
Evan and Pandora: oh thank god
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loz-tearsofahomo · 4 months
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James: and so I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Reg-
Evan: I'm sorry?
James: Well hes-
Evan: No I'm just sorry.
Barty: yeah mate praying for you
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vomits0cutely · 2 months
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Harry: i grew up with a lesbian mother and a bisexual father, both of which have a wife and husband so I didn’t know straight people existed until I was like 6
Ron: [is confused on who has a wife and who has a husband] Hold up, I’m confused say that again but slow
Luna: wait me too
Pansy: that’s the life every child deserves.
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regulusblock · 13 days
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teen Regulus: what's an orgasm?
teen Barty: when you fold paper to make birds and shit
also teen Evan: that's oregano, bitch
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stargazingtranquility · 5 months
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James: guys I think I’m homophobic…
Remus (who James helped asked Sirius out): okay…. Why do you think that?
James: I saw Regulus holding hands with Barty and it made me so physically ill I had to leave the room
Sirius (who knows Reg is fake dating Barty to help him make Evan jealous): I don’t think youre homophobic mate, I think you wanna fuck my brother
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wolvesandshine · 2 months
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Barty may have been fucking insane but he was also a genius who scored 12 O’s for OWLS without breaking a sweat
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etherealriver · 17 days
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Evan: *Whispering French into Barty's ear*
Barty: *Literally can't breathe*
Regulus, who's sitting next to him on the couch: *Fighting for his life not to laugh because Evan's not saying anything remotely sexy, he's just complaining about the weather*
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r4yra · 2 months
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Evan: I think I'm in love with Barty... Any thoughts?
Regulus: And prayers. Your going to need them.
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evermoreismychild · 2 months
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regulus: it’s like we finish each other’s—
james: …homework
regulus: ???
james, in tears, sliding his potions work over to reg: please
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regulus-rietveld · 6 days
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DARRRRLINGGG GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM JAIIIILLLL
-But it's Barty standing in front of Evan's grave
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not-rab · 19 days
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Pandora: The floor's lava!
James: *helping Regulus onto the table*
Barty: *kicks Evan off the sofa*
Dorcas: There are two types of boyfriends
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moondustinfj · 2 months
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James *poking Remus*: Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus wake up. Remus. Remus.
Remus:
James: Remus. Remus. MOONY!!
Remus: OH MY GOD, WHAT??
James: Oh good, since you're awake-
Remus: *groans*
James: -your plan didn't work
Remus: What plan?
James: When you told me to throw confetti over Regulus' head to get him to date me
Remus: I specifically said 'Do NOT, under any circumstances, do that James'
James: Exactly! That's basically telling me to do it!
Remus: It didn't work on Lily, how the hell did you think it would work on Regulus
James: I couldn't have known!! They're such different people!!
Remus: And which parts of those "differences" made you think Regulus Black would be more receptive to being thrown confetti at in front of the whole school
James: Crouch and Rosier still laugh hysterically every time they see me..
James: So what do you suggest I do? Make even a grander gesture in front of everyone??
Remus: No! What-
James: Maybe sing him a song??
Remus: I-
James: That I wrote??
Remus: You're INSANE
James: On my guitar??
Remus *checks the watch*: It's 3 AM James go f-
James: In the great hall??
Remus: I don't even care at this point
James: You're a genius. I knew I came to the right person
Remus: That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard and I feel like I should call Regulus to warn him about you. But you seem convinced so. God bless. *slumps back to bed*
James: Do you believe in god Remus?
Remus: *voice muffled by the pillow* I believe in hell. And I'm in it.
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nixnight1 · 6 months
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The Marauders but with Friends' quotes (with a few changes)
Barty: 2024, the year of Barty!
Regulus: Ha ha we are very happy for you *standing next to James*
Barty: What's the matter? Why the long face?
James: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so, you know...
Barty: Alright. I'll take care of it
James: Wait!
Regulus: Barty!
Barty: Sh sh sh let me
*Goes straight to Sirius*
Sirius: Thirty three, thirty two...*while jumping*
Barty: Black, Black, Black, listen. Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Lupin or Evan?
Sirius: What?
Barty: Well, you gotta kiss someone. Can't kiss your brother.
Sirius: Well, who's gonna kiss my brother?
Barty: Potter
Sirius: Oh, man! Really? 🤢
Barty: Mate, mate, who would you rather kiss your brother? Me or Potter?
Sirius: That's a good point
Barty: Yeah
Sirius: Uh, well, since I have that whole history with Rosier, I guess Moony
Barty: Okay, great!
Sirius: Allright
*Barty goes to Remus*
Barty: Hey, Lupin! Listen, Black wants to kiss you at midnight
Remus: Regulus? Why would he?
Barty: No, silly, your Black
Remus: My Black. It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
*Barty goes to Evan*
Barty: Ev, Ev, Listen. I'll kiss you at midnight
Evan: Finally
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