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#roman vs greek jokes
comicaurora · 1 year
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what exactly is your beef with Percy Jackson?
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TLDR: absolutely nothing, I love those books and can confirm they hold up surprisingly well on a reread. At the time I made That One Joke That One Time, the heroes of olympus series had just come out and started the whole "greek god vs roman god version being different people but also not" confusion. I was less into them than I had been with the Percy Jackson books, mostly because of the loss of the first-person perspective and Percy's extremely fun narrator voice, and it turned into a casual dig that I have thus far never been able to live down.
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ursie · 2 years
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If you were in charge of a pjo short story collection, who would feature in it and what stories would you want to write?
Ooo off the top of my head :
Ok we really do need to address the elephant in the room that is Nico and Hades relationship I’m not against it genuinely I think a growing relationship is more compelling but can we see some work being put in 👏 anyway what I’m saying is Hestia and Mr. D do tag team family counseling
Hazel goes down to New Orleans to learn more about traditional voodoo (Nico can’t teach her for obv reasons) and she solves a mystery while learning more about her Mom and eventually forgives her
Frank goes on a quest with Clarisse for sibling bonding and she’s very competitive and upset when he upstages her but eventually she gives him her approval and she talks about how Ares treated her and her siblings growing up and Frank kicks Ares ass
Drew, Rachel, and Nico go to the mall of America. Hijinks ensue
The gang at comic con
Annabeth dragging Thalia and Percy around chb trying to solve a haunting but it’s just Nico vibing and he feels bad because they’re working so hard so he stages an actual haunting and it gets outa hand and Percy gets hurt so Annabeth, Thalia, and him need to work together and work through their shit to stop it
The stoll brothers start a pyramid scheme
New campers trying to spy on Nico but just keep finding him in stranger and stranger positions, circumstances, with even weirder company and every time he’s like no one would believe you :)
Reyna/Nico/Hedge story because and I genuinely mean this. A trio
Drew gives Nico a makeover and breaks the camp (and Will)
Will trying to convince Nico that Clovis is into him and sabotaging Will and Nico being oblivious to it
Will trying to write poetry for Nico because the rest of his siblings found their muse but he gets too embarrassed and it’s not good but it gets spread through camp and to Wills embarrassment and delight Nico likes it he’s only upset Will won’t recite it for him :( he wants a Romeo and Juliet moment and yes. He’s aware what happens. He thinks it’s romantic :)
Roman vs Greek capture the flag. 18 deaths countless injuries
The kids just try telling new campers what happened in pjo and they just keep on interrupting each other or clearing up people being unreliable narrators (Percy, Nico) and they tell jokes and they’re friends!! And none of the new kids believe them at the end
New kids decide Nicos their hero and Nico comes to terms with some things
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nateofgreat · 3 months
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Going back to my previous ask I looked into this person and she has a real stick up her ass when it comes to Christianity don’t believe I’ll show you the proof
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And those are just two screenshots of a post of a mega rant on how bad Christianity (which is full of misinformation and emotionally Driven arguments mind you) and she blocks responses from critics not because of harassment but because their Christian I think that should say enough on who where dealing with
Sounds about right, lol. Looks like a mixture of bad history, terminally online political views, and good old, "I saw a Church with a donation line on TV, ahhh!" like asking for donations isn't a universal thing in our digital age. In general, your local Church isn't a store, of course they're going to ask for money both to live-off and give to charity.
Also, I'm no expert on history but it's kind of funny that they're claiming that the Church (confusingly conflated with direct acts of God) tried to destroy pagan cultures when Christians recorded Norse, Greek, Roman, etc writings, including their myths. Seems counterintuitive to erasing a culture.
That's not me saying that there weren't conflicts between the two, of course there were. But Christians weren't mounting an intensive effort to erase the history of polythiesm. The most they did outside of largely political wars (Spanish vs Aztecs for example) in the way of "destroying pagan cultures" is convert certain temples like the Roman pantheon into Churches.
I hope they overcome whatever anger issues they would appear to have. And again, rather reminiscent of my joke about Neil Gaiman that they were so offended by.
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luxshine · 2 years
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Judaism also has a focus on balance and we miss so much focusing on Christian good vs evil. Coexistence between good but flawed people is a better story and works better thematically for a system. Need an evil god? Apep. A fallen hero? Poor maligned Set. Every gods was imperfect so with enough thought, they CAN run afoul of Moon Knight but they can still be well-meaning. The second is the portrayal of mental illness. There's too much bad info and harmful stereotypes and you've worded that nicely
I must be honest that I can't delve too much on judaism when I talk about Moon Knight because I am a gentile -a pagan one at that- and while I do have Jewish friends who are very kind and patient with my questions about their faith (not just surrounding MK, I try to learn a little bit of all my friend's religions so I can be respectful) I know that I can't really speak over them on that regard.
And YES. While there's very few ancient religions that have a specifically evil god (I will NEVER forgive people for making Hades a discount devil), we have gods whose morality was not exactly what we'd call good. Apep as you mention. Seth, who has the bad luck of being a snake and now we're obsessed with making Snakes evil. Hell, we can put the Egyptians directly at odds with the Greeks and Romans, and Ares is RIGHT THERE. Has even been an Avenger because, as certain joke panel manip puts it, EVERYONE has been an Avenger.
Or, you know, since they added Mephisto to the mix, just have MK fight satanic devils because he doesn't have the hangups of a Christian education so he won't go "Oh, but what if the sinners deserve that" as Daredevil tends to do and leave the poor maligned Ennead alone -after remebering that first and foremost, Khonshu was a god of Justice, not revenge.
Regarding Mental Health... That's a whole can of worms when it comes to MK in specific, but pretty much there's no comic character with mental health issues that can claim to be "good" representation wise IN comics. Whatever great things are done in movies and series (And boy, the MK team did a lot well, even if it wasn't perfect), there will be always a writer who comes and goes "Lol, he/she/them crazy" only with far more slurs.
IT's a learning curve. Right now, after having more communication with plural systems thanks to MK I have realized that it's better to talk about them in plural when referring to them all, and have them think about themselves in plural as Lemire did in the very end of his run, and even if I do love the boys and care about this very much, I still find myself writing he/him when I mean more than Marc, Steven or Jake on their own and either have to hit the edit button right then, or after when I reread someone's reply and I realize I did it. I can figure Marvel writers, less connected to the community and at least 10 years older than me? have a bigger hill to climb and may not have the willingness to do so. (It is telling that Jeff Lemire is only two years older than me at 46, and Max Bemis is 6 years younger at 38... and they're the only ones who write Moon Knight as a plural system without repressing any of their Alters. All the rest? The ones who erase MK's plurality and made the "Oh, lol, MK is so insane no one should trust him"? Older than 50. Sure, Bemis still has to take off the edgy-offensive patina of his wording about mental health, but... again, telling how different the generations of writers are)
All we can do, I guess, is to keep rolling out the right information, and listening to the communities that are affected, rather than over them, and thus, hope that the NEXT generation of writers finally GET IT.
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greekbros · 3 years
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"greek-Bros: When in Rome, wait wut?; The Reboot Nobody Fucking Asked For"
*after two incidences with his sons, Zeus has recruited Hades and Poseidon to investigate why the living hell was so distracting about Rome*
Zeus: *poorly disguised as a shepard* Well, it is a mighty fine city indeed. It's almost comparable to Athens. Don't you think so?
Poseidon: *also poorly disguised as the world's most muscular fisherman* It is dear brother! Why even our statues here are incredibly beautiful!
Hades: *who's cleverly disgusted as an old lady* hmf.
Poseidon: What's the matter Hades? Disgruntled that you don't have a shrine dedicated to you?
Hades: No quite frankly I actually don't care about shrines or temples in my honor. *Looks around and sees the same issues that the Bois saw* .....why do the mortals here call me Pluto?
Zeus and Poseidon: *both laugh at that*
Hades: Hahaha, laugh all you want.
Centurion: YOU TWO! How DARE you laugh at that poor, ugly old crone! You're under arrest for harassing the elderly!
Hades: *grins*
Zeus: *having absolutly none of this BS* .......
Poseidon: Ugh but sir we-
Centurion: *takes out cuffs and chains, FuCkInG puts them on Zeus and Poseidon* You're coming downtown! *Drags the both of them*
Zeus: *glares into space completely understanding why his sons tried to destroy Rome*
Poseidon: But sir! You can't just thrown people in jail for laughing!
Centurion: *in a completely casual tone* I deeply sorry sir but as of late there has been a zero tolerance policy throughout the city, orders say we MUST make an immediate arrest and put you through the identification process.
Hades: *still as an old crone clicks heels and walks away to sight see*
*later*
Mortus: *looming in the dark corner of the interrogation room, walks slowly to the table and slams his fist*.....where were you on the day of the Coliseum's destruction... And if you weren't there where were you on the day of its reopening?
An innocent bean farmer: *shaking in fear* ugh....in my field sir?
Mortus: *glares at the farmer*
A Centurion: *walks in the room* Sir! We have more prisoners! I think you maybe interested in these two.
Mortus: *slowly turns around* ......if this is another dead end.... you're joining the rest of the scum at the crucifixion field.
A Centurion: *gulps* ....y-yes sir.
Mortus: Bring them in...oh and release this one.
Bean Farmer: *just fucking bolts out of the room*
Mortus: .....
Centurion: *brings in Zeus, whom already looks a little claustrophobic in the already small room* There's a second one outside.
*outside*
Poseidon: *apparently has attracted the attention of many young beautiful women* Fear not Roman citizens! For I Po-*thinks of a name*...uhm...Paul.... understands your infatuation, but alas I am happily married, BUT let that not stop you from admiring my very being! *Tries to flex while handcuffed*
The small crowd of women: *swooned*
A Centurion: oh shut up.
*inside*
Mortus: *actually a little intimidated by Zeus and his stone cold resting death face*....Well now....you rather large for a shepard. Retired I suppose?
Zeus: ....no.
Mortus: Than what is your occupation?
Zeus: ......I do not think you have the jurisdiction to ask me.
Mortus: *getting angry* Where were you when the Coliseum was being destroyed!?
Zeus: .... Probably with your mother, who I would be certain would be very ashamed that her son has decided to harass the elderly.
Mortus: *steaming mad* YOU WILL ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Zeus: I want to speak with my lawyer.
Mortus: WHAT?!?
A Centurion: Um sir, we have a Mr-*looks at a crudly written card* Plutonium? He's a law maker and legally represents the detainee.
Mortus: *feeling a cold sweat as if the devil has entered the building, looks at Zeus*
Zeus: *smiling*
Mortus: ....bring him in.
Hades: *now looks more like a mortal version of himself but now carries a satchel* Good evening my name is Cryus Plutonium and I have heard my client and his brother have been unlawfully detained. *Places a scroll on the table* Sir if I may infer, I've been working several weeks in the law office and I have found no evidence of this new "Zero tolerance policy". So I do believe you have no legal right to detain and must release him-
Poseidon: *from outside* AND ME!
Hades: -and his brother.
Mortus: *stares in disbelief* ....what.
Hades: *slowly walks to Zeus and unbinds him*
Zeus: thank you.
Hades: Now. Let us l-*feels a sword near his next* ......
Mortus: *has just about snapped* .....I've been after you and your mutant kin for a whole year and three months.....you owe not just me....but you owe the empire....an explanation.
Hades: ............
Zeus: ...........*lifts a finger, shocks him and tases Mortus, knocking him cold* ................you know something.......I think I finally understand why the children hate this place.
Hades: *shakes his head, as the two leave they see poseidon just flexing for a small crowd while the Centurion who was gaurding him is tied to a support beam*
A Centurion: Please help me.
Zeus: *points and sarcastically smiles* No. *Walks to Poseidon and drags him* It's time to go.
Poseidon: Awww....but I was just getting the crowd warmed up!
Hades: Let's just say they'll be warmed up with a few weeks of heavy thunderstorms.
Poseidon: .....can there be earthqu-
Zeus: You may bury the lot.
Poseidon: *smiles* Huzzah!
Hades: Or....we can be a little less intrusive.
Zeus: Fine, I shall ask Odin if he wants to help.
Hades: Yes my thoughts exactly.
Zeus: *still angry until he sees Octavia and little Caius and suddenly feels a little odd*......Hades.
Hades: yes
Zeus: I understand you don't have children...but what are the chances that one of my sons may have left something behind.
Hades: *trying to understand what Zeus meant until he saw Caius* Hmm....oh come now you're not going to take the child away from. His mother....or..... fornicate with her.....are you?
Zeus: .....oh damn it all....we can't destroy this city........
Poseidon: *in a singsong tone* I can! *Suddenly a little rumble starts until Zeus bonks him on the head* ~°
Zeus: No....the city of Rome...if officially protected.
Hades: ........all this because there's a bastard grandson around here isn't it?
Zeus: Silence Hades. Look at him, not a care in the world. Enjoying his moments with his dear mother talking to Hera a-WHAT THE?!?!
Hades: Wait Hera is here??
Poseidon: *rubbing his head* Hey look! It's Amphitrite too!
Hera: *talking to Octavia* Oh yes, married life is great but have you ever considered divorce?
Octavia: Oh heavens no, even though my husband has been rather distent. I'm positive he isn't in an adulterous relationship. That's punishable but crucifixion here.
Amphitrite: Well yes darling, for the WOMEN, men here get away with it scot-free.
Octavia: Oh heavens no.
Caius: *squirming a little*
Octavia: aww what the matter deary.
Hera: *knotices that Caius has few enough features of Zeus to be related but not directly enough to be his son* Aw what an adorable little baby boy. Who's the father?
Octavia: oh I'm happily married to General Mortus Biccus.
Hera: hmm....
Zeus: Oh there you are my beautiful, wonderful and not here to make sure I'm cheating on her wife! *Grits teeth* what are you doing here?!
Hera: ....I was wondering the same thing. I'm here shopping for some exotic fruits.
Amphitrite: *shows her basket of bananas*
Zeus: Oh.
Poseidon: *enthralled by the bananas* ohhhh.....
Hades: Well....I guess we can all go home then.
Octavia: Oh my! This must be your husband. You must be very lucky to have married such a big strong man.
Hera: *unamused* I am so blessed.
Zeus: *puts his arm around her* not as blessed as I am to be married to her.
Octavia: aww.
Caius: *kinda happy sensing he's found grandma and grandpa* c:
Zeus: *now getting a closer look, the baby literally looks like a spitting image of Hermes* oh my.
Mortus: THERE YOU ARE! *huffing and puffing from running* You are all under arrest!
Octavia: Oh Mortus, don't be so rude to these fine people they have done nothing wrong.
Mortus: This man shot LIGHTNING out of his finger! And that one *points to Hades* is...well he's just scary and THAT one is just annoying! *points to Poseidon*
Poseidon and Amphitrite: *sharing a banana and suddenly stop* hmf?
Mortus: These men are connected to the destruction of the coliseum last year and the disappearance of Gaius!
Zeus: ....Oh! You mean my sons? Oh yes they're actually harmless. You see, they're traveling magicians and they perform fantastic illusions!
Mortus: NO! FUCK YPU OLD MAN! I know what the people saw! Clearly something is going on! ...my suspensions are...that you...and your cohorts.....are demons!
Octavia: Mortus!
Caius: :c
Zeus: ....oh that's rather rude.
Hera: Now hang on a minute. Let's prove our innocence.
Zeus: Hera what are you doing?
Hera: .....you know, the gods are technically innocent....and exempt from being accused of any crime.
Mortus: *tempted to mention Emperor Caligula and his recent campaign against Poseidon but decided not to*
Hera: ...so...if we were gods...we would be innocent.
Octavia: Hmm...she does have a point.
Mortus: What are you getting at?
Zeus: *deep sigh* Fine...I lied.....me...my lovely wife and my brothers....are all gods......I'm actually Zeus, she's Hera and so on and so forth. My sons are were Apollo, Hermes and Dionysus....you see....it's likely their fault for losing their tempers, I apologize for that too. And I apologize for shocking you but you did threaten to crucify me.
Mortus: ..........*starts laughing hysterically and has officially lost his mind*
Octavia: Oh dear. Let's go honey, I must apologize for my husband's behavior. He's been working day and night. Oh sweetheart let's go.
Caius: byebye c: *waves*
Mortus: *while laughing like a mad man* HAHAHAH wait! I HAVE to know this but IS Caius here yours?!? HAHAHAHA I mean, I don't have BALLS! HAHAHAHAHAHA *gets dragged back home*
Zeus: ......you didn't help with that last portion did you?
Hera: No. I figured a man who looked as pathetic and desperate like that probably was already at his wit's end.... Speaking of which is that child yours?
Zeus: hmm....
*back at Olypmus*
Zeus: *pulls the ears of Hermes and Dionysus*
Hera: *helping with the situation and pulls Apollo's and Ares's ear*
Zeus: You boys are forbidden from returning to Rome. And as for you Hermes....it's one thing frolicking with farm maidens with incompetent husbands....but a war general with no testicles?....shame on you.
Hermes: *knows what he's talking about*.....worth it. *Feeling his ear getting pulled* ow~°
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crinkliedfries · 4 years
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oh you did NOT just accuse the romans of being heterosexual wow
yes i did and i’ll continue to do so
i’m on the side of the greeks, romans dni
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anachronisticcrab · 3 years
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Valdangelo
I’m in such a valdangelo mood... so I’m gonna rant about them a bit
It’d be so amazing if they were canon cause they parallel each other so well. They’re literally 2 sides of the same coin
Leo and Nico both witnessed their moms die in a way that was related to their godliness (Leo started the fire, Zeus was trying to kill Nico and Bianca)
Neither of them had a steady home or a family for years, and they both lived on the streets
They both lost the most important person to them (their mother and sister respectively), and were forever changed because of their deaths
They both blame themselves for those deaths (Leo started the fire; Nico annoyed Bianca and made her feel badly enough that she stole from a god)
They both put on masks to keep people at a distance; Leo pushes people away by always smiling and cracking jokes while Nico glares and scowls
They’re both terrified to let anyone care about them because they think they’re destructive
Their trauma manifests in seemingly opposite ways, and yet it’s very similar when you think about it
They both had a crush on a friend that saved their life who then went and dated their other friend, and despised themselves for it (Jason and Percy, respectively)
They both feel excluded and left out, like they’re the third wheel, like they’re a crowd
They both use books and shows as coping mechanisms (Leo to crack jokes and avoid, Nico to escape and ignore)
They both feel left out at CHB and CJ because they feel like they’re monsters, and they have different skills than their siblings (Nico over the dead vs Hazel over riches, Leo over fire without any of his siblings having power over that)
They both dislike each other when they first meet because of snap decisions and judgements, but they end up being able to tease each other
They both refuse to talk about their past out of shame and fear
They both love Hazel so much and are always worried about her. They both become really close with Reyna. They were Jason’s best friends. They both get along with Piper. They both have a complicated relationship with Percy and Annabeth
Nico hangs onto the message Leo sent in the Hidden Oracle
Leo describes Nico as having baby bat wings for hair, and he spends an entire paragraph describing Nico in a really unique way
They both forget to watch out for themselves and instead they try to protect their friends from all of their self-destructive behaviours
They both enjoy being alone but for completely different reasons
The ADHD and autistic solidarity the two of them share
They both know Morse code (90% of people in the 30’s, especially guys in Europe, knew Morse code and Esperanza taught Leo)
They’ve both been distrusted by the Romans and the Greeks for things they didn’t mean to do (Leo getting possessed and firing on Camp Jupiter, Nico bringing Percy to the Underworld and accidentally almost getting him killed)
They both have powers over heat (Nico’s been able to summon fire as seen in ttc, and he causes the air around him to become near freezing; Leo controls fire)
They’ve both demonized themselves for powers and they’ve both been shunned for their powers (Nico by the demigods, Leo by his family and Frank)
They’ve both been in the foster system (Nico had the ‘lawyer’, but I’m assuming he was somewhere before he was sent to Maine)
Nico is perpetually cold and how Leo is essentially a space heater
Their internalized homophobia prohibits both of them from being happy, and how they both feel that they need to be in a ‘traditional’ relationship to make them whole and happy
The fact that they’re both socially awkward and don’t know how to act around other people
The fact that they both have an affinity for pirates and dragons (there’s like no way that that’s not true, right?)
Leo being a natural cuddled in his sleep and Nico needing someone to reassure him when he wakes up
Both of them being incredibly smart (in different areas as Leo’s a math/science guy and Nico’s a literature/history/art guy), but neither of them are treated as if they are as smart as they are
They both hate their fathers for shit that they’ve been through because of them (Leo’s socially awkward and his mom died because of his relation to Hephaestus. Nico’s been shunned and abused because of his relationship to Hades)
Leo shows Nico its okay to laugh and be happy, while Nico shows Leo it’s okay to be sad
This is getting really long, but I love them. They compliment each other and help each other grow and they really are great for each other. Don’t get me wrong, I love Solangelo too. Will is a gem. But valdangelo really would’ve been amazing
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smalltragedy · 3 years
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* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty-one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to oo-de-lally by roger miller like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )
hiii im back ... tentatively .. looks at u all ominously
CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION, DEATH, GRAPHIC MENTION OF DECAY, INSECTS MENTION TW.
mini playlist.
oo-de-lally / roger miller, wonderfully bizarre / bendigo fletcher, dust in your pocket / glass animals, gecgecgec / 100 gecs, nantes / beirut, cherry-coloured funk / cocteau twins, not allowed / tv girl, space song / beach house, dog food / 100 gecs.
statistics.
full name: philomena brontë carmichael
nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.
birthday: april 20th, 2000.
zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.
temperament: improvisor / phlegmatic.
label: the halycon.
sexuality: demisexual.
pinterest.
biography.
a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.
the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.
so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.
they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.
hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.
cancer tw // it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.
it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.
they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long. end of cancer tw //
and life continues as normal.
her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.
she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.
they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.
philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.
elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.
naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.
it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.
it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.
philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.
during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.
she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.
depersonalization / derealization tw // it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs. depersonalization / derealization end of tw //
death, decay. maggots tw // there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.
you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -
you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot. end of death, decay, maggots tw //
and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.
philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.
after ending up with warrants from their arrest in florida (after running from the law in texas), philly and elektra have wound up at irving <3 partially hiding from the law and partially bcos their trusty van’s broken down and they haven’t got the money to fix her up yet.
personality & facts.
she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.
has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.
believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.
she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.
philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.
her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.
is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.
is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.
she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)
has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.
she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.
keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.
her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.
will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.
the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.
has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been.
currently living in florence, their van, with her sister elektra <3 currently residing in lilac ridge.
they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.
it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.
really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. (smirks at leo)
will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.
listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.
loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.
owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.
has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.
also, juggling.
also, accordion.
the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.
dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.
everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.
( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )
comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra).
has a certain knack for getting animals to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.
wanted plots.
speaking through my third eye ... ;; philly is new in town n shes very strange. constantly lives in a state in which she does not exist (at least on the same plane). this is her harassing the locals. this is her slipping thru their fingertips as they attempt 2 understand her. they get close smtms bt philly jst. whisks herself away.
hollows of our eyelids ... ;; perhaps there is smbdy jst as strange as philly. i’m out here calling fr all the weirdos. lets be friends. lets hv philly n co go on adventures n discover horrible sites n uncover ancient secrets tht lie deep below irving. mayb nt tht. bt im jst saying. this is fr the dreamers. da weirdos. the jugheads. LHKDSHFSADLKGFHLSKADG fr those who also feel as if they r not real.
bills n aches n blues... ;; ya this is my call fr all negative plots. bills (catching philly be a thief and a fraud), aches (mayb heartache? unrecruited feelings or w/e theyre called?), n blues (ooooh so sad... so sad ... angst ...) obviously i am a genius. i wldnt say tht philly is here 2 make enemies bc philly doesnt care much abt ppl bt perhaps tht cld b an issue. tht she doesnt care much abt others. mayb ur muse is jst like. cn u pls care. n philly is like. i am incapable. sry. sucks.
n also ,, ;; like. anything i’ll. take anything. philly is weird lets come up w surreal plots tht verge on the edge of like. nt being correct fr this verse. suddenly theres vampires? or so they think ... smirks. anyways. shes been 2 jail n been in the circus n dances naked in the woods n hoards animals n treasures. we hv a lot to work with here obv.
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missfay49 · 4 years
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Who is Orange?
Disclaimer: Please enjoy?  Accept?  Beware?  This… Thing that started out as character analysis and turned into a deranged fanfic, because I experienced a literal revelation mid-way through free writing.  I did not clean this up much because I’m still reeling from the theory implications myself.  I cursed a lot.
~
What does Orange Side represent?
What do we know?
Orange is a “Dark Side”, defined as being one of the Sides hidden from C!Thomas.
The other Hidden Sides were Janus, Remus, and Virgil.
All the Hidden Sides were hidden due to a key aspect of their character that C!Thomas had to first acknowledge and then accept.  Virgil required C!Thomas to acknowledge that he had heightened anxiety and accept that anxiety isn’t inherently wrong, just a different form of information that can be processed.  Remus required C!Thomas to acknowledge that he had intrusive thoughts and accept that those thoughts don’t make him evil; they’re just thoughts.  Janus required C!Thomas to acknowledge that he was capable of lying and accept that acting “selfishly” sometimes isn’t just okay, but actually critically important to managing stress.
 What are the common themes here?  
Confronting the reality about ourselves instead of pretending some traits don’t exist.
Understanding ourselves to be more complex than ‘good’ and ‘evil’.
Addressing mental health.  
Orange Side is still hidden, but we can expect him to be something C!Thomas doesn’t want to (or isn’t ready to) acknowledge.  Something that would be difficult to accept about oneself.  All Hidden Sides fall under the jurisdiction of Janus, so let’s take another look at him.
In “Can Lying Be Good?” we get a lot of information about what Janus’ purpose is:
Roman: It you really don’t want to know something, he… can keep our mouths shut.
Logan: You don’t want to believe it.  That’s where his power comes from.  Things that you want to believe.  Things that you wish were true.  And things that you wish weren’t.
Deceit: What you don’t know can’t hurt you.
This all means that Orange Side is something that would cause C!Thomas distress to learn and something he subconsciously wishes weren’t true.  This is not new information to most of you: the spin-off interpretations of Apathy and Pride are widely popular fandom theories, traits that are typically viewed as negative in large doses.
But the Hidden Sides being seen as something negative isn’t their only defining characteristic.  They typically involve an aspect a mental health, involve societal expectations, and... what is it...
Janus is the umbrella over all the other Hidden Sides, sheltering and obscuring them from view. He is the gatekeeper in a very literal sense.  What is he gatekeeping?  
What is it?  What is it what is it, why?  What does he do?  What seems bad but isn’t?  What can he do?  What issue is actually useful?  What’s useful what’s useful WHATS USEFUL WHATS USEFUL?!  WHY DOES IT HAVE TO USEFUL?
shitshitSHITSHISTHISTSTs
I KEPT ASKING MYSELF, WHAT’S USEFUL?  WHAT TRAIT COULD IT BE THAT APPEARS BAD, BUT ISN’T BAD, IS ACTUALLY USEFUL.  ANIEXTY WAS OKAY BECAUSE HE WAS JUST LOOKING OUT FOR US.  LYING WAS OKAY BECAUSE HE JUST WANTED TO PUT C!THOMAS FIRST.  INTRUSIVE CREATIVITY WAS OKAY BECAUSE DARK IDEAS OPEN UP NEW PATHS.
But the whole GODDAMN POINT is ACCEPTANCE!  
You don’t HAVE to be useful to be accepted.  You – yuo just BE.  YOU BE!
PEOPLE don’t have to prove their Usefulness to you before you can treat them with respect.  Our WORTH does not depend on what we PRODUCE. YE GODS, THE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE I JUST BROKE-
~~~
C!Thomas comes back from his self-care stay-cation.  He’s ready to start production, he is rested and refreshed.  BUT JUST LIKE EVERY PREVIOUS DILEMMA, it isn’t Good enough, Original enough, Fast enough.  He’s done everything right, why is it still wrong?  He’s accepted his anxiety, he’s accepted that things aren’t just black and white, he’s Accepted That It’s OKAY to have Dark Thoughts, he Has ACCEPTED SELF_CARE.  Why Isn’t IT ENOUGH?!
“Fuck it.”  
C!Thomas spins in his chair, looking at a man that looks just like him, but not quite.
“What?”
“Fuck it.  Fuck them.”
“You sound like Remus,” Thomas jokes.  He’s lying, of course.  He’s nervous. The Side looks like a normal guy, but something about him is unsettling.  The unidentified Side just presses his lips together, unimpressed.
“Um, ef w-who, exactly?” Thomas asks, but part of him already knows.
“All of them.  Every person who isn’t you.  Every person who expects something from you.”
“Now, you sound like Janus.” Thomas looks back at the computer screen, but the Side’s retort has him spinning around again.  
“Janus is a short-sighted pseudo-rebellious minion of a capitalistic society, just like the rest of them.”
“Uh, excuse me?!”
“Isn’t it obvious? They’re all obsessed with Success. Whether they want to play by the rules, or manipulate them, or break them, whether it’s making money or pumping out good deeds, they’re still just trying to make you be successful within the framework of a system that prioritizes production over a human life.”
Thomas just stares for a moment before he can find his voice.
“Who are you?”
“Dude, seriously?”  He waves his hands, palms up and presenting himself.  “I’m Achilleus.  I’m your motivation.”
~~~
Take a deep breath and follow me down the research black hole, where every topic I looked up was more and more terrifyingly appropriate: 
Freedom
noun
the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.
Self-Determination
noun
the process by which a person controls their own life.
Autonomy
noun
(in Kantian moral philosophy) the capacity of an agent to act in accordance with objective morality rather than under the influence of desires.
Autonomic Nervous System (because i believe each Hidden Side is closer to the subconscious)
noun
the part of the nervous system responsible for control of the bodily functions not consciously directed, such as breathing, the heartbeat, and digestive processes.
Inherent Value
“inherent value in the case of animal ethics can be described as the value an animal possesses in its own right, as an end-in-itself” – Animal Rights – Inherent Value, by Saahil Papar
Intrinsic Value
“Intrinsic value has traditionally been thought to lie at the heart of ethics. Philosophers use a number of terms to refer to such value. The intrinsic value of something is said to be the value that that thing has “in itself,” or “for its own sake,” or “as such,” or “in its own right.”” – Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Value, by Michael J. Zimmerman and Ben Bradley
“Finally, his sense of respect for the intrinsic value of entities, including the non-sentient, is the Kantian notion of the inherent value of all Being.  This is based on the notion that a universe without moral evaluators (e.g. humans) would still be morally valuable, and there is no reason not to regard Being as inherently morally good.” – Technology and the Trajectory of Myth, by David Grant, Lyria Bennett Moses
Motivation
“Another way to conceptualize motivation is through Self-Determination Theory … which is concerned with intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.  Intrinsic motivation happens when someone does something for its inherent satisfaction.” – Second Language Acquisition Myths: Applying Second Language Research to Classroom Teaching, by Steven Brown, Jenifer Larson-Hall
Capitalism
“The flowery language of the United States Declaration of Independence would have you believe that human life has an inherent value, one that includes inalienable rights such as “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” But in America, a major indicator of value is actually placed on being a productive member of society, which typically means working a job that creates monetary revenue (especially if the end result is accumulated wealth and suffering was inherently involved in the process).” – The Diminished Value of Human Life in a Capitalistic Society, by Seren Sensei
Religion
“At the heart of the debate between Calvinism and Arminianism lay the insurmountable chasm between God’s sovereign election versus human self-determination.” – Sovereignty vs. Self-determination: Two Versions of Ephesians 1:3-14, by Reformed Theology
Mythology
“In Classical Greece, Achilles was widely admired as a paragon of male excellence and virtue. Later, during the height of the Roman Empire, his name became synonymous with uncontrollable rage and barbarism… He chooses kleos (glory) over life itself, and he owes his heroic identity to this kleos. He achieves the major goal of the hero: to have his identity put permanently on record through kleos…
“But is this really an accurate characterization of Achilles' pivotal decision? Is he really driven to sacrifice his life by an obsessive quest for honor and glory? One scene in the Iliad suggests the answer to both questions is no.
“When Achilles leaves the battlefield after his dispute with Agamemnon, the Trojans gain the upper hand on the Greeks. Desperate to convince their best warrior to return, Agamemnon sends an envoy of Achilles' closest friends to his tent to persuade him to reconsider his decision. During this scene, Achilles calmly informs his friends that he is no longer interested in giving up his life for the sake of heroic ideals. His exact words are below:
“The same honor waits for the coward and the brave. They both go down to Death, the fighter who shirks, the one who works to exhaustion (IX 386-388)…
“Not only does Achilles reject the envoy's offers of material reward, but he rejects the entire premise that glory is worth a man's life.” – making sense of a hero’s motivation, by Patrick Garvey
Achilles (/əˈkɪliːz/ ə-KIL-eez) or Achilleus (Ancient Greek: Ἀχιλλεύς, [a.kʰilˈleu̯s])
Achilles realizes his own inherent self-worth, thereby freeing himself from the expectations of others; societal or otherwise.  Only once we are free can we find the balance between our own needs and the needs of others in a way that breeds neither anger nor resentment in either.
~~~
But that’s... that’s just... a theory.   Huh.
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sortagaysortahigh · 3 years
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I mean if you say Vikings had a culture then you could also argue ancient Greeks, ancient Romans, etc had one too. Many of those cultures were the baseline of further European cultures, so I would disagree and say there is European culture if you're willing to go back far enough. A lot of it is stolen though, but I still think it's evolved enough from its stolen origins to be considered its own culture.
Nah i agree with this for sure, and thank you for coming respectfully vs talking shit like im some dense bitch. Ive stated this in my previous anons but i meant my posts as a joke and i dont genuinely think ethnic europeans have no culture and i do get the roots of these cultures stem from that of the Vikings, Greeks, Romans, and Mediterranean regions alongside northern african regions bc of historically present trade and gravel routes, not to mention Asian regions which did take influence into the area both willingly and unwillingly
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finelythreadedsky · 4 years
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Hi! Your blog is super cool and your ideas on literature and parallels are absolutely fascinating, the way you think is so interesting! I was just scrolling, and had a quick question, mostly because it may affect how I view his work: why do we hate Catullus? (Genuinely curious bc it’s important to know if and when stuff is problematic)
not sure how to respond to this but “we” don’t hate catullus really. i don’t think. i’m personally not particularly fond of his poetry and i get the impression that he was, as a person, someone i would absolutely hate if i actually interacted with him (though notably i feel the same way about ovid, whose poetry i love but who i’m sure would also strike me as insufferable in person). but i also haven’t actually read any catullus in over five years, and i know other people on this site love his poetry. there are definitely a lot of themes and motifs he uses that i adore and have tracked across other works, so i do kind of hope i end up working more with him at some point in the future.
i think the catullus hate is due to the image he projects of himself and his relationship with lesbia in his poetry, which to a modern reader (especially a modern female reader) can come off as unhealthy and creepy and borderline abusive. but really in the end that’s an image that he selected and constructed, and we straight up have no idea whether it’s an accurate portrayal of what he and lesbia and their relationship were really like. how much of his poetry is exaggerated? how much of it comes out of a literary persona vs his genuine reactions and interactions? we don’t know exactly, but it is poetry, not social history. ultimately catullus hate is mostly a joking thing, compounded with the fact that i (currently) have no personal attachment to catullus’s poetry the way i do to, say, vergil or ovid or the greek tragedians. if i read literally anything on catullus 101 i would probably feel much more attached but i haven’t done that yet.
and i'm not sure that the language of “problematic” makes much sense in terms of ancient authors. we’re talking about the ancient world. pretty much everyone who was in enough of a position of power to be recorded in history or literature did things we find morally abhorrent. they all lived in, benefitted from, and contributed to a society that promoted and propagated slavery, imperialism, misogyny, and violence of many kinds, and we have little reason to believe that many of the authors we now read found fault with these things enough to fight against them. every ancient author is problematic. some of them more than others (like, say,  aristotle’s defense of slavery or plato’s eugenics or the tangled mess that is ovid’s portrayal of sexual assault-- still thinking about that one), but all of them existed and thrived in a society whose values we now recognize as very out of touch with our own (or at least i hope so. everybody out there fetishizing sparta and roman imperial conquest can fuck off, they sucked). 
maybe someone else has something to add about how we think about ancient authors and what it means for us that they were products of their time (open invitation in the replies!) but for me that’s an important part of reading them-- how does this text reflect the ideas of its time? how has the text been used in history since then? how is our thinking now different from the ideas recorded in the text? how can the text be used now by applying our current thinking to it? what potential does the text still hold for harm? what potential does it hold for healing? what else can we see in it if we read it differently? what parts of it are critical and essential, and which are not?
anyway people with real opinions on catullus please do share
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philcmenabadadink · 5 years
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cisfemale — ever hear people say PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL looks a lot like NATALIA DYER? I think SHE is about 19, so it doesn’t really work. The FREELANCER is here because THEIR VAN BROKE DOWN and they are from WOODSIDE, CA. They can be WHIMSICAL, but they can also be APATHETIC. I think PHILLY might be N/A. ( snot goblin. 20. est. she/they. )
hi hello friends ,,, i bring to u my third character and the Newest Muse i have created ... which means i’m still working on her ! so pleathe bare w/ me as i have no idea how she’ll rly truly turn out. but !! as always, give this a LIKE and i’ll come bother u !!!
TW: CANCER, IMPLIED TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. MENTAL HEALTH )
a e s t h e t i c s
wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers.
general info !!
full name: philomena brontë carmichael
nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.
b.o.d. - april 20th lmao !!
label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.
height: 5′4″
hometown: woodside, ca
sexuality: ??? $500 ebay mystery box. pansexual if you had to label it.
pinterest
stats
biography !!
a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.
the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.
so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are ... eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.
they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.
hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.
it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.
it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.
they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children ... it doesn’t last for too long.
and life continues as normal.
her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.
she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.
they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels...less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.
philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.
elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen ... van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.
naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.
it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.
it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.
philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way. 
she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.
it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.
she gets medication, and life is normal.
it’s four years later and they’re in vermont when their good ol’ trusty van - affectionately named florence - breaks down in a town called livingstone. the cost is more than they have at the moment, and they’re stuck. philomena thinks she likes the town - but she doesn’t know about the watershed. 
personality !!
she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.
has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.
believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.
she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.
philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.
her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.
is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.
is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.
she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)
has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.
she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.
keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.
her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.
will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.
the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.
has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in livingstone - would hate to make enemies whilst florence is getting repaired.
they’re staying in a motel, currently, in the cheapest room they could get. philly will still visit florence. will sometimes go home with strangers purely to take advantage of a comfortable bed and a shower with better pressure.
it’s a common occurrence - she doesn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weasels her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.
really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. 
will consume a n y t h i n g you put in front of her - isn’t picky.
listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her.
loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.
owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.
has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.
also, juggles.
the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.
dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.
everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.
wanted connections !!
random encounters - she’s new in town and doesn’t know many people - if anybody at all, so :-)
alternately, people she’s run into with elektra during their journey. whether they’ve stolen from them or stayed with them somewhere or just, ate dinner with them. anything.
someone whose couch she’s crashed on after a night of whatever - a party, adventure, etc.
people she does jobs for !! people who commission her to make stuff for them. people who need a babysitter.
people who think she’s weird - and those who like it. or those who hate it. people who don’t understand her - people who do, in their own way.
someone trying to get closer to her but she keeps slipping out from between their fingers.
a parental / older sibling figure !! they take one look at philomena and instantly want to swaddle and protect her.
people who take an immediate liking to her. people who introduce her to the music scene. people who show her around town.
someone who catches her stealing or about to dine-n-dash.
late-night walking pals.
a dealer b/c weed ? a thing.
someone who gets into a debate with her about conspiracies or superstitions or anything !! someone who gets frustrated at her apathy.
somebody who just immediately distrusts her for whatever reason.
??? you don’t have a smartphone ??? cue someone trying to teach her how they work - and philly hating it !!
thrifting pals.
m a y b e a hook-up, eventually, but it’s questionable.
something unrequited, likely on their end b/c philly is ... a hard egg to crack.
maybe something returned !! eventually. slowly. slow.
god ... someone she just tells her entire life story to. like this meme. 
i’m rly down to brainstorm and think of anything !!! dnt forget 2 leave a like :)
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greekbros · 3 years
Text
"greek-Bros: Phallic Judgement"
*Surprisingly, Dionysus had gone back to Rome to cause more mischief with Hermes, this time they've brought Ares along*
Dionysus: *again disguised as a wine seller* ok gentlemen, behold. The foulest creatures to crawl on the face of the earth. *Shows just random Roman citizens*
Ares: *who for some reason decided he wanted to disguise himself as the world's most intimidating slave* ......ugh....the goats? *Sees a goat*
Hermes: *cleverly disgusted as farmer* haha no. You see, these guys are absolutely weird. They insist of "rationing" Sapa, they have taxes for literally existing and above all.....their wine is watered down! But they have the best bread I've ever tasted though.
Ares: ... really?
Dionysus: don't be fooled by their baked goods my dudes. These are cruel and unrelenting scum folk. Uncultured, ignorant, and above all....they've inslaved every single country they've conquered.
Hermes: .....it's mostly about the wine isn't it?
Dionysus: ....*turns dramatically* their most unforgiving sin.
Ares: *has wondered off to see a statue of himself*.....my dick isn't THAT small.......*looks at the name plate saying "Mars"* ......I can't believe these guys misspelled my name....*takes some charcoal, scratches out Mars and writes Ares*
Centurion Gaurd: Excuse me slave! Where is your master! Slaves are not allowed near the devine statue of the gods.*sees that Ares has wrote his name on the statue's nameplate* What the?
Ares: *doesn't know the centurion was referring to him considering he's in disguise* .........*turns to the see the back of the statue* ....at least they got the ass right.
Centurion Gaurd: EXCUSE ME! Please stop making remarks about the sacred statue! You've defaced sacred property!
Ares: *slowly peaks over to the centurion* ....hey ugh there's a thing on your helmet*
Centurion Gaurd: oh really? *Pats around his helmet* where?
Ares: *points to the centurion's face* There's a shit attitude a little all over your FuCkInG ugly mug.
Centurion Gaurd: *realising what he meant* YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!
Dionysus: *walks into the situation* Oh there you are Skippy! Bad boy I thought I told you to stay close to me and not open your mouth! *takes a little stick and weakly whips Ares's shoulder with a single thing of wheat*
Ares: *confused* ...wut?
Centurion Gaurd: Is there YOUR disrespectful slave?
Ares: wait you said I was going to be a noblem-*gets a loaf of bread in his mouth by Hermes*
Hermes: please shut up or we'll leave you here to fend for yourself.
Ares: *kinda just enjoying the bread* hmfhmf.
Dionysus: You see my good sir, my slave is extremely stupid, dumb and has testicles the size of grapeseeds. He was used as a human kickball when he was an infant and was raised by goats. He can't help himself sometimes. *Tries to clean the charcoal off the statue*
Ares: *angry noises* ?!?
Centurion Gaurd: .....Ok...you have the pay the "Disrespectful Slave" tax fine.
Dionysus: .....*grumbles and takes a bag filled with gold coins* ....*gives it begrudgingly* .....*grits his teeth* have....a...good day.
Centurion Gaurd: *takes the gold and sees that it's drachma* .....hmm.....*takes out a piece of paper with a semi-crude wanted poster of Dionysus, Apollo and Hermes* ......hmm.....I watching you....sir. *leaves to find Mortus*
Dionysus: *turns to Ares and glares at him* ....you owe me 20 drachma.
Ares: *has finished eat the bread* Why? Don't these mortals know we're gods?
Dionysus: No! We're here in disguise so that was can destroy the city again. You are here to make sure the country doesn't get a chance to get back up.
Ares: Fuck yah. *Literally has no idea what he agreed to*
Hermes: *saw the wanted poster in the centurion's hand* ugh...guys we REALLY need to finish what we came here for because they're definitely on to us.
Dionysus: yeah yeah I know....come on let's go. I want to destroy the coliseum again.
Ares: what's a coliseum?
Dionysus: *suddenly a huge grin forms across his face* Hermes .....is the coliseum....open?
Hermes: let me check. *Literally speeds next to the coliseum and saw a Roman sign that says "Grand Re-Opening" and zips back to Dionysus* yeah. It's open.
Dionysus: perfect. *Pops a waterskin filled with wine, and chugs it* oh gods I'm FuCkInG dry. It's like this place sucks your very essence or something.
Hermes: hmm....yeah, shame really. *as he was following Dionysus and Ares, he accidentally dumbs into a familiar face* oops sorry miss.
Octavia: *turns around with a baby in her arms that looks suspiciously familiar* Oh pardon me sir. I didn't mean to bump into, the market seems rather busy today doesn't it?
Hermes: It's ok, I was just heading to-*knotices the baby* .....ugh...
Caius the baby: *smiles at Hermes as if he knew Hermes was his dad* ba-ba :D
Octavia: Oh sweetie, daddy is working. Oh children are so wonderous, even at a few months old, they have such an imagination. By the way, have we met before? You look so familiar....are you from the countryside?
Hermes: uuggggh *trying his best to not look Octavia in the eye* yeah, I get that all the time. Trust me I have some of my own, I mean children that is. Also no I don't think I have? *Literally hoping she doesn't recognize him even though he shape shifted into her husband a year ago*
Caius: *still happily cooing over his real dad*
Dionysus: come on buddy le-*put two and two together and scowls at Hermes* ......you didn't.
Hermes: ugh....
Dionysus: nevermind we're off! *He pulls Hermes to the direction of the coliseum*
Octavia: hmmm what a strange young man. He's handsome though.
Caius: *coos in disappointment* :(
*later*
Dionysus: *rubs his hands* hehehehehe....
Hermes: this better be worth it. I thought we would write our names on the temple walls here or something.
A Roman Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! This grand reopening of the Coliseum shall be in honor of our Lord and Emperor Caeser!
Caeser: *does the Royal British wave*
Dionysus: peeeeerfect.
Hermes: ......hey I got to ask...why did you bring Ares?
Dionysus: some bulky bastard is currently the head champion gladiator here, he use to live on Crete before the Romans decided to kidnap a few warriors there....let's just say my pettiness will come with effort.
Hermes: ......ok seriously man what are talking about?
Dionysus: look no one says that their dick is bigger than mine and actually gets away with it.
Hermes: ....you know....you could just smite someone. I mean it's not graceful....but it's effective.
Dionysus: hoho, I'm going to make this extra dramatic.
The Roman Announcer: And now! You're great champion, Maximus the Well-Endowed!
Maximus: *a huge, hulking man came out, roars out* HAIL CAESAR! *Leans to the announcer* I am going to get my 20 hot virgin women after this right?
Announcer: *whispers* yes yes. AND HIS CHALLENGER *looks at a note which was scribbled on his hand* ..... "Skippy the Not-Well-Endowed"! *Looks back his hand still not believing what he had read*
Ares: *is just happy to get into a fight, however was oddly enough only was only wearing a loin cloth and a helmet, armed with a shield and spear* ......oh boy, a whole stadium just for killing? These people rock!
Hermes: ........you didn't....
Dionysus: yep.
Ares: *steps side to side like an exited kid* comeoncomeoncomeonstartthefighting.
Maximus: Alright Skippy, time to end your tiny dicked existence. *Raised his sword on to Ares but Ares was able to break it with his helmet* !?
Ares: ....that's it?
Maximum: *confused* ugh....*waves to order in more weapons, all of which fail to hurt Ares*
Ares: .......aw come on...you guys have some shitty ass weapons. Bet YOUR weapon is just as shit.
Maximus: grrrrr.....YOU PUNY SLAVE! *Rips off his armored skirt* See! You're fucking wrong!
Roman crowd: *gasps*
Dionysus: .....
Hermes: *whistles* holyshit....dude this guy is hung.
Dionysus: If there's one god who can contest me....the only god who's dick is so epic, so powerful, so irresistible, so near perfect......that Aphrodite can't FuCkInG resist it on a daily basis.
Hermes: Heracles?
Dionysus: No buddy, Ares. Ares is the guy who's dick is better than mine I mean come on a guy who shags the goddess of love more times than any living thing HAS to have something going on down there
Some Roman Karen: EXCUSE me is pronounced Venus! We don't use greek words here.
Dionysus: Please leave me alone lady.
Some Roman Karen: *rhees in anger*
Dionysus and Hermes: *both are struggling to ignore her*
Ares: ....ok...that dick of your isn't that great.....*rips off his loin cloth* .....THIS....is a dick.
Crowd: *the women and gay men swoons over the perfect of Ares's bare body, men quake and cringe at their own feeble members and put to shame*
Caesar: *completely unimpressed and decided to leave* hmf. Pathetic.
Maximus: *wriggles in shame* HOW c-C-C-could this be?! The most PERFECT COCK? Oh my gods why is it fucking glowing?!
Ares: ....what you don't shave yourself weekly? I mean come on man that's how you keep the ladies coming back?
Maximus: *starts crying a little*
Dionysus: *cackling uncontrollably* SO THATS HIS SECRET! *writes on a piece of paper saying "shave, dick, weekly"*
Hermes: *still not fully understanding why all of this* ........you brought Ares here JUST to emasculate some gladiator?
Dionysus: Oh much more than that Herms.....much much m-
Roman Karen: EXCUSE YOU SIR ITS MERCURY!
Dionysus: *has had enough and turned her into a chicken* there much better.
Hermes: .....are you ok? Did you have your wine today?
Dionysus: I RAN OUT OF WINE LONG AGO!
Hermes: *deep sigh* not again.
Ares: *now in full naked display* ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!? *The crowd roared and cheered*
Dionysus: well....yah want to set the animals free from their cages?
Hermes: fuk ye-*feels a tough and strong hand practically crushing his shoulder* .....*turns to see an old man who clearly was Zeus* .....
Zeus: .....boys.....
Dionysus and Hermes: .....Uh Oh.
Zeus: *took each of them by their ears like a discontented mother* you're BOTH grounded for bothering these mortals and above all abusing the dark, unholy power of the sacred male member ....if I had a third arm it would be reserved for Ares. *Looks down at Ares now just doing some naked dance for the crowd*........*deep and disappointed sigh*
Dionysus: but dad, I do that like everyday.
Zeus: I don't care if I don't discipline you or Hermes right the now, Hera will have MY male member nailed to the wall.
(Later that day)
Mortus: *inner noir detective monologue* after several months, nothing. Absolutely nothing. The suspects disappeared from the face of the empire. Likely their crimes have caught up with them. My only consolation to solving this case....is the mysterious birth of my son and my faithful wife. .... speaking of which...why does Caius have blue eyes? Me and Octavia have brown.....did ...she?....nah that's impossible.
The Centurion from earlier: MY LORD! I FOUND THE SUSPECTS!
Mortus: *dramatically turns around* This better be the right ones this time.
*much later after apparently an orgy broke out at the coliseum*
Mortus: .... Absolutely disgusting. Practicing Sexual Festivities without a license is punishable by crucifixion, Mark.
The Announcer (Mark): B-b-but sir! It wasn't my fault! Some slave was to challenge Maximus and they just decided to remove their clothing and everyone went wild! ....to be fair the slave did look a little attractive BUT the fornicating ceased once the slave disappeared.
Mortus:....was he accompanied by a portly, dark haired ..... individual?......an extremely attractive blonde slave and a thinner more athletic young man with brown hair?
The Announcer: ...hmm...well yes minus the other slave.
Mortus: Hmmm.....the plot thickens.....are these the mysterious criminals that destroyed the coliseum last year?....What is the motivated behind these depraved individuals?.....
The Announcer: ugh...why are you talking to yourself?
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dabblesindrabbles · 5 years
Text
Pjo/Hoo Disney Parks AU
Inspired by @son-of-rome and his work A Kiss From A Prince which was originally inspired by this ask.
Okay, so, the Disney College Program is about as close to a Camp Half-Blood or Camp Jupiter sort of experience as I’ve ever had? So I’m placing the Seven + Nico/ Reyna primarily in College Program (CP) or Internship roles. 
The Greeks = Walt Disney World. The Romans = Disneyland. East Coast vs. West Coast. The Most Magical Place on Earth vs. The Happiest Place on Earth. Similar, related, but absolutely not the same thing. Yes I know Disneyland predates Walt Disney World but let’s not talk about that.
Annabeth. Magic Kingdom - Main Street West Merchandise. Sorry East side, no hate, but I felt like it was a good nod to Annabeth’s ties to the West Coast. The OG Disney park in Florida, The Magic Kingdom is one of the most visited theme parks in the world. Cast members brave large crowds, crazy late hours, and traverse the Utilidors on the daily - a Labyrinth if I’ve ever seen one. Annabeth obviously has a perfect attendance record, at least three “4 Keys Cards” and has extended for a full year in the hopes of later returning for an Imagineering Professional Internship in Architecture. 
Percy. Typhoon Lagoon - Lifeguard/ Magic Kingdom - Quick Service Food and Beverage. A lot of people don’t know that the waterparks close for refurbishment in shifts during the winter months, meaning that CPs are often moved to Quick Service when their respective waterpark is closed for refurbishment.  Percy’s cool with it. I put him in Typhoon Lagoon because that wave pool is sick. Percy started during Annabeth’s extension, has a point or two on his record for sleeping in or running late, but definitely has a few Cast Compliments on social media. No plans for a future with the Company, just there for a break from school and a good time. Sends his sister all kinds of fun stuff from the parks and can’t wait for his family to visit. 
Piper. Magic Kingdom - Main Street West Merchandise. Piper thought about the program in California, but living expenses were so much more and she didn’t want to ask her dad for help with the bills. Lowkey prefers the more regular phone calls she gets being so far from home. Randomly matched with Annabeth in CP housing during Annabeth’s extension, though their assignments usually send them to different sections at work. Always able to talk her fellow cast members into trading shifts and is a wonder with upset guests. Annabeth is trying to convince her to apply for a Guest Relations Professional Internship, but Piper thinks the points on her record would be an issue. She’s considering going back to California anyway and is rethinking the program in Disneyland in order to be closer to her dad. Couldn’t stand the character performers at first, but is starting to realize that they really aren’t so different from any other cast members. 
Jason. Previous: California Adventure - Park Greeter/ Trainer and Coordinator. Current: Epcot - Guest Relations Professional Intern. Jason isn’t quite sure how he ended up in Florida persay, as he was on track for a leadership role in California, but curiosity, a desire for change, and perhaps a strange twist of fate sent him across country and pulled him out of his comfort zone. He’s always felt bound by procedure in his previous role, but now gets to bend the rules for the right reasons, solve problems, and help guests in a number of ways. Though he can pick up shifts at any park and often does, he feels most comfortable in his home location, as the park promotes ideas of unity, understanding, and exploration. Jason’s attendance record is flawless, and he has received a number of recognitions from fellow cast and guests for his eagerness to help and his compassion.
Leo. Hollywood Studios - Attractions, The Great Movie Ride before it closed forever rip. With Leo’s energy, his quick wit, and knack for corny jokes a spieling role seemed fitting. He has no problem improvising in front of guests though his leaders have scheduled meetings with him repeatedly to discuss when it is appropriate. Of course operating the ride vehicles, animatronics, and cueing the pyrotechnics are his favorite parts of the job and he hopes to return to the company for an Imagineering Professional Internship in the future. There are surprisingly no points on his record of attendance, but then again, there’s no place he’d rather be.
Frank. Disneyland - Character attendant. Frank’s compassion and gentle nature makes him a natural fit for the role, and his fierce protectiveness of his fellow cast members and friends keeps them safe on stage with guests. Frank enjoys his role, but is dreaming of a Professional Internship with Animal Programs where he can share his passion for and knowledge of animals with guests looking to become wilderness explorers. He has one single point on his record for stopping to give directions to a guest, which resulted in him clocking in late.
Hazel. The Grand Californian - Conceirge. Surrounded by luxury but also silence, Hazel doesn’t see much guest interaction working third shift - or the graveyard shift as some might call it. She doesn’t mind. Hazel enjoys the quiet and occasional call down to the desk where she is happy to assist any guests with their needs. She holds her few Applause-o-grams near to her heart and loves that her role allows her to build relationships with guests over the course of their stay, even if goodbyes are difficult. She has no plans to continue with the Company as of yet, instead ready to see where fate takes her next.
Reyna. California Adventure - Park Greeter/ Trainer and Coordinator on a Temporary Assignment in Operations Management. Reyna was a shining star from her first day on the job, executing her role in compliance with the 4 Keys while also doing well to assist her fellow cast members. She’s worked hard to grow in her role with the Company and has done well to find herself in a management role so young, though it speaks to her capabilities, passion, and drive. Her flawless attendance record is a credit to her goal of continuing to rise in the ranks of the Company, and while she has no recognitions to her name, she knows she has done her job well.
Nico. Disneyland - Custodial / Magic Kingdom - Custodial. Somehow a seasonal cast member on both coasts, no one is quite sure if it has ever been done before, though Nico hardly boasts of his travel from coast to coast. He doesn’t particularly like cleaning up after guests but he enjoys the independent work, the freedom to roam around the parks at his own pace, and the ability to pick up shifts wherever he pleases. Cast members are often unnerved by how quickly he is able to cross the parks at a moment’s notice when he is called over the radio, and they sometimes miss the way he smirks when he overheares them whispering about it. No points on his record, no recognitions to his name, and no plans for a future with the Company, he’s happy to come and go with the seasons.
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thiinka · 5 years
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Hey there! I know I’m a stranger but I was recently admitted to CUI (which I heard you attend?) and I was wondering your personal opinion on it! I think it’s an awesome school but I’m not entirely sure if I want to attend, ya know? Could you offer some advice? Thank you either way!
Oh heck yeah! I’m really curious as to who you are and how you found out I go to CUI, haha.
Personally? I love this school and the time I’ve spent here, and I’ve had moments walking across campus thinking, “I’m so glad I went here,” no joke. There are several reasons for that: small size of basically everything, the faculty, the location, and the cafeteria (mostly). 
Everything is small here. You can walk across campus in 5 minutes. The classes are always under 30 students (except for precious few general classes like the freshman intro class and general physical fitness lecture) and I’ve mostly been in classes of 10 or under in my majors’ classes (Math and Graphic Design). Also kinda on the topic of rooms, the dorm rooms are cushy comparatively to other dorms. The non-quad buildings are suite-style and the quads are apartment-style, with a toilet and shower per 4 students, not a floor of students sharing a stall bathroom. Also, you don’t have those brick walls that a lot of other universities have, you can actually put thumbtacks into these walls. And there are professors in residence! I live in the Uppers Quads, where there are 3 separate families of professors with their kids, and personally? I love it. Uppers has always felt like a big ol’ family to me, especially with hall events.
The small size helps out the faculty, and all the professors I’ve had except for like... one or two have been amazing and passionate about what they’re teaching. I took a look on your profile and it looks like you like history and psychology? I’m not even in those areas and I still have personal experience/positive grapevine talk about those professors. For me, Dr. Armstrong (also highly involved with Honors goings-on) was the professor who got me to finally like history in CHST 201 after high school killed it for me, partially because Ancient Greek and Roman history is his baby. He also takes students on Getty Villa field trips at least once every semester, once to see the play that happens out there, and it’s great. Dr. Cosgrove was my professor for Intro to Psychology, and she was fantastic with a class of 4 students including me! I know about other professors (Flores, Francisco, Karges, Matthews) and that they all have excellent reputations. Word of mouth is swift here, and you *will* get recommendations on whose classes to take. It’s a bit more likely that adjuncts will provide inferior learning, but faculty who care about the students interview them, so it’s not nearly as bad as a large university.
Personally, my experience with the Mathematics and Art faculty has been so amazing. Math (Prof Melberg and Dr.s Croll, Schulteis, Taylor) and Art (Soo, Hayes, Dunham, Kruger) are all so invested in their students’ success, no matter if it’s a GE or a major-specific course. There’s also a bit of group discussion encouraged as a mix with traditional lecture at least for Math.
Additionally, I’m in the string orchestra, and while ensemble directors all have this “Music is the only thing you should be focusing on” attitude to some extent, I really love interacting with them. Also, they’re super helpful in networking with theater and church gigs if you ask (Dr. Held recommended me to one of the theater profs, Dr. Vezner, to play violin, and subsequently got pulled back for nice paying gigs several times). Not as applicable if you’re not in music, but we will have the new music and theology building open for use starting I think in Fall 2019. And even if you’re not in music, we have *so many* great performances for strings, winds, choir, *handbells*, and the mini theater productions. CUI (and our donors) really loves the arts, man. 
The location is excellent, especially if you’re from out-of-state. Irvine is literally ranked the safest city in California, and UCI with all of its amenities (the library!!) and other fun stuff (University Town Center, Woodbridge area) is right next door. You’re a stone’s throw from the beach and the mountains and theme parks and several malls (The Spectrum, South Coast Plaza, Fashion Island, The District). Some of these places are 100% close enough to walk or bike to, and I’ve done so many times. I guarantee at some point you’ll make friends with someone who has a car, or if not, there’s a shuttle service that goes out on weekends.
And finally the cafeteria. It’s comparatively better than other college cafeterias in my opinion. There’s always something you’ll want to eat; just don’t let Senior Preview Day trick you on the daily quality of the food! Also, breakfast is consistently good, since you can order eggs and omelettes how you’d like them. Meal plans work on an allotted x meals a week deal, starting on Monday, at either 19, 14, or 10, or you can appeal to have no meal plan past freshman year in case of dietary stuff. 
Some cons? If you’re not too into Jesus then the required Theology (Old Testament and New Testament) probably won’t be cool. The school *is* affiliated with LCMS Lutheranism, and I’ve had my fair share of Catholic vs Protestant joking around with professors. All Theology and some History profs are Lutheran pastors. As a very personal note for when I turned 21, the campus is a dry campus for the sake of reducing liability issues, and it’s pretty frustrating to me. If you eventually have a car, parking is free but holy crap is it hard to find a parking space sometimes!! I’m not involved in sports, but we apparently do well?? but we don’t have a football team. The bureaucracy has gotten really congested with clubs and orgs over the past 5 years I’ve been here. 
But I mean, in short? Like I said way up there, sometimes I get moments where I’m walking across campus and I think, “I love this place and I’m so glad I came here of all places.” I met my rock-solid group of close friends and my boyfriend (long story) here, I have professors who I really do consider friends (and for the end-of-the-year math dept. dinner? Almost like family! Three of them are moms!) and who are so invested in my and other students’ success, and I believe I can truly say I've grown tremendously as a person while going to CUI because of these people. 
That, uh... mini-essay kinda encapsulates my personal experience with and feelings about CUI. I definitely recommend campus visits to each college you’re accepted to if you’re undecided and able to, though. Good luck picking where you want to go, and I hope this helped you understand CUI better!
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smalltragedy · 3 years
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* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the leanover by life without buildings like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )
hi thank u all fr being so patient w me as i rapidly switch out muses n figure out wht the fuck im doing atm <3 also sry fr my rare presence work hs been kicking my ass like lets jst say i deserve 2 b smbdy’s housewife (misogny wins this time sry) so i nvr hv to work in my life <3 DFSLKSDHKGLFSHLKAGHLKAHLKSG this is a joke 2 clarify. anyways. this is philly she’s old bt she’s one of my very favorites ever. this intro is also old sry its nt in my usual. style. LKDFKHGLKGF
CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION, DEATH, GRAPHIC MENTION OF DECAY, INSECTS MENTION TW.
mini playlist.
the girl who stole my tamagotchi ;; hot sugar / i dropped out ;; and the kids / pork soda ;; glass animals / wonderfully bizarre ;; bendigo fletcher / (dream) ;; salvia palth / alien blues ;; yundabar / dust in your pocket ;; glass animals / warm honey ;; willow / bela lugosi’s dead ;; bauhaus / gecgecgec ;; 100 gecs / blinding ;; florence and the machine / nantes ;; beirut / cherry-coloured funk ;; cocteau twins / not allowed ;; tv girl / oblivion ;; grimes / space song ;; beach house / dog food ;; 100 gecs / the leanover life ;; life without buildings.
statistics.
full name: philomena brontë carmichael
nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.
birthday: april 20th, 2000. 
zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.
mbti & temperament: infp & improvisor / phlegmatic. 
label: the halycon.
sexuality: demisexual.
pinterest.
biography.
a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.
the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.
so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.
they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.
hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.
cancer tw // it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.
it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.
they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long. end of cancer tw //
and life continues as normal.
her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.
she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.
they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.
philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.
elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.
naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.
it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.
it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.
philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.
during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.
she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.
depersonalization / derealization tw // it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs. depersonalization / derealization end of tw //
death, decay. maggots tw // there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.
you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -
you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot. end of death, decay, maggots tw //
and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.
philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.
after ending up with warrants from their arrest in florida (after running from the law in texas), philly and elektra have wound up at irving <3 partially hiding from the law and partially bcos their trusty van’s broken down and they haven’t got the money to fix her up yet. 
personality & facts.
she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.
has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.
believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.
she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.
philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.
her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.
is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.
is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.
she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)
has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.
she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.
keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.
her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.
will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.
the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.
has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been.
currently living in florence, their van, with her sister elektra <3 currently residing in lilac ridge.
they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.
it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.
really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. (smirks at leo)
will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.
listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.
loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.
owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.
has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.
also, juggling.
also, accordion.
the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.
dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.
everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.
( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )
comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra).
has a certain knack for getting animals to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.
wanted plots.
speaking through my third eye ... ;; philly is new in town n shes very strange. constantly lives in a state in which she does not exist (at least on the same plane). this is her harassing the locals. this is her slipping thru their fingertips as they attempt 2 understand her. they get close smtms bt philly jst. whisks herself away.
hollows of our eyelids ... ;; perhaps there is smbdy jst as strange as philly. i’m out here calling fr all the weirdos. lets be friends. lets hv philly n co go on adventures n discover horrible sites n uncover ancient secrets tht lie deep below irving. mayb nt tht. bt im jst saying. this is fr the dreamers. da weirdos. the jugheads. LHKDSHFSADLKGFHLSKADG fr those who also feel as if they r not real.
bills n aches n blues... ;; ya this is my call fr all negative plots. bills (catching philly be a thief and a fraud), aches (mayb heartache? unrecruited feelings or w/e theyre called?), n blues (ooooh so sad... so sad ... angst ...) obviously i am a genius. i wldnt say tht philly is here 2 make enemies bc philly doesnt care much abt ppl bt perhaps tht cld b an issue. tht she doesnt care much abt others. mayb ur muse is jst like. cn u pls care. n philly is like. i am incapable. sry. sucks.
n also ,, ;; like. anything i’ll. take anything. philly is weird lets come up w surreal plots tht verge on the edge of like. nt being correct fr this verse. suddenly theres vampires? or so they think ... smirks. anyways. shes been 2 jail n been in the circus (shoutout 2 kirby) n dances naked in the woods n hoards animals n treasures. we hv a lot to work with here obv. 
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