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tropospherecircus · 1 year

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i reblogged the original post with this but i'll post it individually as well. my epic propaganda as to why you should vote for raz in the @autismswagsummit !!!!!

vote here !!!

#psychonauts #raz aquato #Please. please #raz needs this w #100 #200 #autismswagsummit #art #text

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ofdreamsanddoodles · 1 year

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chronica doodles! also, a chronica & livio i tried to draw with my mouse while i was watching a youtube video & didnt wanna grab my tablet

#mouse drawn livio makes me laugh #trigun #chronica #i need to make them bigger but im happy w how livio & razlo came out #i dont think this razlo looks like raz but he has razlo energy. if that makes sense #livio the double fang #razlo the trip of death #odad

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legboats · 10 months

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gonna play video games in my jammies now ok

#w=am watching psychoddessy on yt and now i need to say hi to raz again

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ottosbigtop · 5 months

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i really love your older dogen design, it's so perfect. they look very cozy in that massive cardigan. (also, gotta say, kinda gender envy.) if you're still doing requests, i'd love to see him hanging out with older raz.

Thank you!! I need to draw Dogen hanging out w Raz and Lili (or really like. Anyone.) more, I’ve woefully underutilized them so far. He and Raz are ride or die besties, to no one’s surprise.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #dogen boole #razputin aquato #aquato cat behavior. Good thing dogens a zoolingualist :)#art :0]#asks :0]#Raz [AAC | He/Him]#Dogen [AAC | He/They]#agent aquato and co au

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doumadono · 9 months

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Jeszcze raz gratulacje, maleńka! Zasłużyłaś! Jestem taka w chuj dumna! A teraz mój requeścik:

feeling so lonely that they have to call their lover/friend, just to get a sense and reminder that they're still there / Shoto Todoroki / blurb

A phone call - Shoto Todoroki x Reader

Synopsis: during one of Shoto's missions, you call him because you miss him dearly A/N: ah, dziękuję, kochana! Twoje wsparcie dużo dla mnie znaczy! ♥

MASTERLIST

Two weeks have passed since your beloved boyfriend, Shoto, embarked on a special mission to Kyoto. While it wasn't unusual for him to be away for a few days, this time it marked the first occasion he had been gone for such an extended period. The days seemed longer, and the nights colder, leaving you feeling like a distant star, shining in solitude. Each passing moment brought an ache of longing, and you found solace in calling him, just to hear his voice and know that he was still there.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, you found yourself sitting by the window, gazing out at the city lights, and the emptiness within your heart mirrored the darkening sky. You took out your phone, hesitated for a moment, and then dialed Shoto's number. Your heart fluttered as the line connected, and his deep voice greeted you with a soft "Hello?"

"Hi, Shoto," you replied, trying to sound casual, but your voice betrayed the ache you felt.

He sensed it immediately, "Is something wrong, baby? You sound a little distant."

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts, and finally opened up, "I just… I miss you. It feels like forever since I've seen you."

"I miss you too," he replied gently after a few seconds of silence, "but I promise, this mission will be over soon, and we'll be together again."

"Shoto, when will you be back?" you asked, a single tear rolled down your cheek as you missed your boyfriend much.

"I can't give you an exact date, but I promise I'm doing everything I can to finish this mission as soon as possible, Y/N."

The reassurance in his words brought a glimmer of hope to your heart. You longed to tell him how much you needed him, how his presence was like a lifeline, anchoring you in a world of uncertainty. But instead, you smiled through the tears and shared the little joys and struggles of your days, wanting to fill the void of his absence with your voice. "Can you stay on the line with me for a while?" you asked, your voice softening with vulnerability.

"Of course," he said, his voice a reassuring anchor in the storm of emotions swirling within you.

"I know you're doing important work, and I'm proud of you," you said, your voice soft but resolute, "I just… I wish you were here with me."

"I wish I were there too, Y/N," he admitted, "but know that every day I'm fighting to make the world safer, not just for us, but for everyone."

As his words resonated within you, you realized the magnitude of Shoto's love, not just for you but for the world. The admiration you felt for him swelled, and you found yourself yearning even more to be by his side, supporting him in every way possible.

As the night deepened, the conversation turned to fond memories and dreams of the future. Shoto shared how he tirelessly gathered information about a new group of villains in Kyoto, but when the night fell and he was alone in his hotel room, he couldn't help but long for you, yearning to feel your presence by his side.

"I love you so much, baby," he whispered.

You heard him yawn softly. "Go to sleep, tiger," you asked tenderly, "I'm sure you're exhausted after a day of intense work."

"Yeah, I think I'll try to catch some sleep," he replied with a hint of weariness in his voice.

"Thank you for staying on the line with me," you said, your voice filled with gratitude.

"Anytime. I'll always be here for you."

In that moment, you realized that love knew no distance, and the feeling of loneliness began to dissipate. With Shoto by your side, whether physically present or not, you knew you could conquer anything that life threw your way.

divider by: @cafekitsune

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daisyinbutterflyland · 21 days

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April 9, 2024

/EN/

My party-friend reached out to me few days ago and I'm going to meet him on Thursday. I'm a little bit scared because last we saw each other in December... Before w3!ght l0ss. I'm afraid of his comments on my b0dy and explaining why I didn't talk to him (and his friends) and also I'm afraid of falling back into the party-loop... I really don't want to do this again. Anyway I went for a short walk today, it was so hot and I sw34t like a p!g. And it's only 25 degrees celcius (77*F) out there. I w0re sh0rts but they're too b!g... Like, really b!g that they don't look good... I really need new clothes but I also need to save money for (potential) moving out of this country (again). Why I can't find "my" place on earth? I need to learn another language, but why, when I'm not good at any others I already know (even my native lol)?

Log:

Coffees: 2 (iced)

Redbull sugarfree: 7.5cal

P!lls: C22H19NO4 - 65mg

F00d: unintentional f4st

Exercise: done

Walking: 2.59mi/4.17km - 189cal

/PL/

Mój imprezowy-znajomy odezwał się do mnie kilka dni temu i mam się z nim spotkać w czwartek. Trochę się boję ostatni raz widzieliśmy się w grudniu... Przed sch0dni3ciem. Boję się jego komentarzy na temat mojego ci4ł4 i tłumaczenia dlaczego się nie do niego nie odzywałam (i jego znajomych też) i też boję się że znowu wpadnę w imprezowe-koło... Naprawdę nie chcę znowu tego robić. W każdym razie poszłam dzisiaj na krótki spacer, było tak gorąco i sp0cił4m się jak św!ni4. A jest tylko 25 stopni celsjusza (77*F). Nałożyłam sh0rty ale są za duż3... Takie, bardzo duż3 że nie wyglądają dobrze... Naprawdę potrzebuję nowych ciuchów ale muszę oszczędzać pieniądze na (potencjalną) wyprowadzkę z tego kraju (znowu). Dlaczego nie mogę znaleźć "swojego" miejsca na ziemi? Muszę nauczyć się kolejnego języka, ale czemu, kiedy nie jestem dobra w żadnym z tych co już umiem (nawet ojczystym lol)?

Bilans:

Kawa: 2 (mrożona)

Redbull sugarfree: 7.5cal

T4bl3tk!: C22H19NO4 - 65mg

J3dz3ni3: nieumyślny f4st

Ćwiczenia: zrobione

Spacer: 2.59mi/4.17km - 189kcal

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karsisdoingart · 1 year

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First ever Psychonauts fanart doods and Sasha is a mood ( i adore him a lot , along with Milla , Raz and Helmut. i will draw some fanart for some characters i liked )

and i need to practice on draw Oleander decently >>u

( thank you super a lot @lions-right-nipple and @anx1oustig3r for introduce me in this incredible game ;w; )

#psychonauts #Sasha nein #Morcau Oleander #coach oleander

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alrxiin · 3 months

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Redacted Characters as songs (pt.2)

Geordi :

♪Sparks - Coldplay♪

"But I promise you this, I'll always look out for you.

Yeah, that's what I'll do. / My heart is yours. It's you that I hold on to.

Yeah, that's what I do."

Aaron :

♪Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros♪

"Oh, home, let me come home. Home is wherever I'm with you.

Oh, home, let me come home. Home is wherever I'm with you."

Ivan :

♪I Love You Like An Alcoholic - The Taxpayers ♪

"Kissed that first night...

And then the rain opened up the sky to get — One last kiss, I love you like an alcoholic.

One last kiss, I love you like a statuette.

One last kiss... I need you like I need a broken leg."

Porter :

♪Niech Pomyślą, Że To Ja - Grzegorz Hyży♪

"Tak, zanim krzykniesz będę tam. Tak, niech pomyślą że to ja.

Niech wypuszczą stado gończych psów. Wycelują broń w mój brzuch!

I tak będę twój."

John :

♪Don't You Want Me - The Human League♪

"It's much too late to find...When you think you've changed your mind.

You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry!

Don't you want me, baby?

Don't you want me? Oh!"

Hush :

♪Love You To Death - Type O Negative♪

"Now close those eyes and let me love you to death.

Shall I prove I mean what I'm saying, begging...

I say the beast inside me is gonna get ya, get ya, get."

Cutie :

♪Napraw - LemON♪

"Czy dasz radę kochać mimo że ja...Nie umiem już sam bez Ciebie wstać?

Czy dasz radę kochać mimo Twych ran?

Nie umiem już sam bez Ciebie wstać.

Ostatni już raz sprawiłem że jej oczy płaczą."

Smartass :

♪Like Real People Do - Hozier♪

"Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips.

We should just kiss like real people do."

Baby :

♪Hypnotic - Zella Day♪

"Magnetic everything about you...You really got me, now.

You do it to me so well. Hypnotic taking over me.

Make me feel like someone else. You got me talking in my sleep.

I don't wanna come back down! I don't wanna touch the ground!"

Treasure :

♪Vermillion, Pt.2 - Slipknot♪

"She is everything to me...The unrequited dream.

A song that no one sings. The unattainable."

Sweetie :

♪Somebody's Watching Me - Rockwell♪

"I always feel like somebody's watching me... And I have no privacy! / When I come home at night I bolt the door real tight.

People call me on the phone I'm trying to avoid...

Well, can the people really see me or am I just paranoid?"

Doc :

♪Love Bites (So Do I) - Halestorm♪

"You've suffered in the darkness? Well, I'll suck the pain right out!

So come and taste the reason...I'm nothing like the rest.

I'll kiss you in a way — You'll never forget about me.

That chick can eat her heart out...

Love bites!

But so do I! So do I!.."

Translations :

♪Niech Pomyślą, Że To Ja - Grzegorz Hyży♪ : "Yes, before you call out, I'll be there.

Yes, let them think it's me.

Let them loose a pack of hounds

and point a weapon at my stomach.

No matter what, I'll be yours."

♪Napraw - LemON♪ : "Will you be able to love despite me...

Not being able to get up myself without you?

Will you be able to love despite your wounds?

I am not able to now get up without you...

For the last time I've caused her eyes to cry."

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted geordi #redacted audio characters as song lyrics #redacted aaron #redacted ivan #redacted porter #redacted john #redacted hush #redacted cutie #redacted smartass #redacted baby #redacted treasure #redacted sweetie #redacted doc #redacted headcanons #alrxiin

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bcdrawsandwrites · 2 years

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[ID: A Psychonauts fanfic chapter banner. On the left side of the banner is white text reading “Chapter 4: Old Intel.” On the right is Raz in his Psychonauts 2 outfit, shown from behind and turned slightly to the right, looking very frightened as he looks back as he’s held by his collar by a glowing purple TK hand that looks like Loboto’s. /end ID]

Psychonauts Ruin Everything

Fandom: Psychonauts Rating: K+ Genre: Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort Characters: Razputin Aquato, Caligosto Loboto, Morceau Oleander, Otto Mentallis, Sasha Nein, Milla Vodello, Truman Zanotto Warnings: References to child abuse and medical abuse Description: A few days after the whirlwind of events of Psychonauts 2, Razputin receives his first mission as a Junior Psychonaut: go into the mind of the recently-re-captured Caligosto Loboto and make sure he’s ready to be released… and if not, well… go from there. But it shouldn’t be that hard, right? Loboto’s all better now that his moral compass is back… isn’t he? Beta Readers: @jaywings and @of-science-and-stars (also HUGE THANKS TO @causticbicaudate FOR DOING THE LINEART OF THIS BANNER FOR ME)

—~~~—

Chapter 4: Old Intel

Summary: In which Raz has to relay some intel and the mission gets a whole lot more complicated.

---~~~---

With a gasp, Raz was back in Oleander's office. He was still sitting in the desk chair... but Loboto was no longer in the chair across from him. He was standing, the device Otto had given him rapidly unwinding itself from his body. The cables bound themselves up into a tight ball before dropping to the ground, the light in front of the device turning from green to red with a low-pitched bloop.

Loboto stared down at Raz, and Raz stared up at Loboto, raising his goggles with one hand and gripping the armrest of the chair with the other. "D-Doctor Loboto," he stammered. "Are you, um... f-feeling any better?"

The doctor's smile widened unpleasantly as he towered over Raz. "I think I'm feeling something."

Raz really, really wished he'd asked Oleander how to keep someone restrained with TK. "Is that... um... a good something, or—"

Without warning Loboto made a grasping gesture with his hand, and Raz found himself hoisted up by the collar of his turtleneck by a spindly, glowing purple hand. Loboto was wincing and his hand was shaking, and Raz was wobbling in his grip, but Loboto continued to grin. "Oh, yes, it's definitely a good something."

For the moment Raz found himself paralyzed. Yet in spite of how his heart pounded in his chest, his thoughts were oddly calm. I can't attack him. If I do, he could retaliate, and I don't know what he's capable of. Instead of fighting back, he held up his hands submissively. "Hey, you can... you can use your powers again! That's great! If you want, w-we can—"

"I have you to thank for that!" Loboto cried, lifting Raz slightly higher. "What a good boy! So nice and helpful! Such a model patient."

"P-patient—?!"

"No, how silly of me. I suppose you'd be the doctor this time around, wouldn't you?" Loboto flinched, and Raz dipped in his grasp, yelping. "Whoopsie! Still need to exercise this muscle a bit."

"Yes, you do!" Raz cried, nodding frantically. "You'll need practice and training, and we can help you—"

"Help, yes!" Loboto went on, hoisting Raz back up with his TK again. "I think I can handle the physical therapy on my own. What I need..." He leaned in closer, and in spite of his smile, his brow furrowed. "...is a discharge form."

In Raz's panicked state, it took him a moment to piece together what Loboto meant. "You—you want me to have you released?"

"Yes! Precisely." Loboto reached out with his claws, and Raz flinched away, only to feel himself patted lightly on the head. "You're going to tell your little psychic friends that I am all better, and you are going to release me."

The telekinetic grip holding Raz was shuddering, and Raz wasn't sure if it was because Loboto was struggling with it, or because he was angry. If it was the former, maybe Raz could do something, but if it was the latter, he was in trouble. Not worth the risk right now, he decided, and hesitantly met Loboto's gaze. "Okay, um... first, if you could put me down—"

"Then you agree to let me go?"

Raz managed a weak smile. "I... just think we'd be able to discuss it better when I'm not six feet off the floor."

"Oh no you don't!" Loboto growled, his face twitching. Raz couldn't tell if he was being shaken, or if Loboto's grip was just that unsteady. "I'm not releasing you until you agree to release me. Do we have an agreement?"

This is not going as well as I'd hoped, Raz thought meekly. "I... I'm not sure if—"

"Do we have an agreement?!" Loboto snarled, his eyes flashing.

Before Raz could respond, several things happened in short succession.

The door slammed open, and Loboto released Raz just in time for a large, green psychic fist to collide with the doctor and knock him flying into the wall. Raz, meanwhile, crashed onto the chair beneath him. Gasping, he looked toward the doorway to find Coach Oleander with one hand to his temple, the other held in front of him in a fist.

"Coach!" Raz cried, scrambling off the office chair. Though he was still rattled, he felt more stable when his feet touched the ground.

"I knew this weirdo was gonna cause trouble," Oleander growled before glancing at Raz. "You all right, soldier?"

"F-fine!" Raz replied, though he felt himself shaking.

"What was that?" Loboto whined, raising his head from where he'd been knocked off his feet. "I thought we had a truce...?" Upon seeing Oleander, however, he clenched his claws together. "Oh, little army man! I didn't think we'd be seeing each other again so soon."

"Shut it, Cal!" With a quick sweep of his hand, Oleander snatched Loboto with TK, holding him firmly. He then smiled at Raz. "That's how you restrain an enemy."

"I’m not an enemy—I'm a changed man!" Loboto cried, kicking out with his feet.

"He is different now, Coach Oleander," Raz said, holding up his hands. "I went into his mind—into a really deep part of it, and he told me himself he didn't want to steal brains anymore."

Oleander frowned. "That doesn't explain why he was holdin' you up in his... uh..." He blinked. "...Your psychic energy isn't purple, is it, soldier?"

"About that..." Raz rubbed the back of his helmet sheepishly. "I may have... kinda... helped him... remove the mental block for his psychic powers..."

"Psychic... powers...?" Oleander's gaze darted from Raz to Loboto several times. "You're tellin' me this guy's been a psychic all along?"

"I... may have forgotten to mention a few things I saw when I entered his mind the first time," Raz said, and wrapped his arms around himself. Already he was thinking back to the trouble he'd caused in Agent Forsythe's mind and how he hadn't told anyone until it had turned dangerous. "It... it seemed too private, and I didn't think it would come up again." Looking up, he feared the Coach might be angry, but his expression was softer than he'd expected.

"You psychics are one to talk about privacy," Loboto muttered, looking away.

At Loboto's interruption, Oleander frowned again. "You remember what I taught you about memory vaults, soldier?"

Raz thought for a moment. "You... said that the enemy isn't allowed secrets at wartime. But—"

"That applies here, too." Oleander turned his gaze back to Loboto. "Looks like we'll need to take him back to the others to sort things out. This is a bigger deal than we thought." Waving for Raz to follow, he hauled Loboto out of the office via TK.

"Uuugh, not this again!" Loboto whined as he continued to struggle in Oleander's grip. "I wanna leave!"

Initially Raz stepped toward the door before remembering something, and turned around to snatch Otto's device from the floor and put it in his bag. "Is it really that big of a deal?" he asked as he ran to catch up with Oleander. "I don't think he's very good at psychic powers."

Loboto's gaze snapped over to Raz, his brow furrowed, but he said nothing.

"Good enough to cause problems," Oleander remarked. He put a hand to his temple again, then nodded a moment later. "Otto's gonna meet with us in Truman's office."

Raz nodded, only for his stomach to give a jolt. Please don't call Sasha—

"Sasha and Milla are on their way, too."

"Aren't they kinda... busy, though?" Raz asked hesitantly. "We probably shouldn't bother them."

"They wouldn't exactly be happy if I didn't report to them," the Coach muttered.

"Right," Raz said, wrapping his arms around himself and keeping his gaze to the floor. Memories of just how angry Sasha and Milla had been with him after he'd messed things up in Agent Forsythe's mind flitted through his head, and his stomach knotted up at the thought that he would have to go through that again.

That's not a proper march, soldier, Oleander said over telepathy.

Shaking himself, Raz straightened his back and dropped his arms. Right, sorry, sir.

You all right?

Raz winced. Well... it's just... I really messed this up. He glanced at Loboto, who was staring with interest at the aquarium as they passed it. I just wanted to help him.

What, him? That guy's a bit of a wild card. Oleander shrugged. You never know what's gonna happen with him. I didn't expect him to come back with a pepper grinder for an arm when I— He faltered.

Raz glanced quickly between Loboto and Oleander, one eyebrow raised.

Oleander went on quickly: Point is, pretty sure this one isn't your fault. The guy’s unpredictable. You're not gonna hear Nein chew you out over this one, if that's what you're worried about.

Oh. Some of the tension eased from Raz's shoulders, but then he gave a jolt. Wait, how did you know about...?

The Coach didn't answer, only frowning and looking away.

Before Raz could question him again, the nearest Otto B.O.N. slammed open as they passed, and Otto himself sprang out of it, landing neatly next to Raz. "Already back with an update, eh Razputin?" he asked, eyebrows raised in interest. "How did my invention work out, by the way?"

TKing the device out of his bag, Raz held it up awkwardly. "So, about that..."

—-~~~—-

The meeting room was silent.

Raz fidgeted in his chair, looking every which way to avoid looking at Oleander, Truman, Otto, Sasha, or Milla, though he was pretty sure he could feel their gazes upon him. Loboto, who had been struggling in Oleander's grip for most of the time he'd been held, was now very still and silent. His shoulders were hunched, his lips a tight line, and his gaze was out the window and focused on the Nerve Center below. For a moment Raz considered apologizing to him, but what good would that do now?

It was Otto who finally broke the silence. "A lobotomy victim," he murmured. "Those didn't usually fare too well."

If it were possible, Loboto went even more tense. Raz finally looked up to cast a worried glance around the table, suddenly wondering if they would say something to set him off.

Otto's gaze was trained on Loboto, his brow furrowed seriously. Truman was rubbing his forehead, eyes wide as he seemed to still be processing the new information, while Oleander had lowered his head in thought. Farther down the table, Milla's gaze had gone distant, while Sasha's expression remained unreadable beneath his goggles, though he was turned slightly toward Milla. I wonder what they're talking about, Raz thought, only to give a start when Oleander spoke.

"I... heard about those being done, back in the day," he remarked, fiddling with his hands. "It's... part of why I never told my folks. But I'd never heard of it actually being done to..."

"I've not seen any records of such a thing," Sasha remarked. "To adults, certainly, especially back when psychic powers were still categorized as an illness. But to be done to a child..."

"There's no record of it," Truman echoed. "None. We had agents sent out to hospitals to gather intel on this sort of thing. Sabotages, even, whenever we caught it. But it was always adults, never children. If any records existed, they must have been destroyed or modified."

"Wouldn't shock me," Otto remarked. "Psychic prejudice or no, something like that happening to a child would've created quite the stir! They likely didn't want it known."

"Neither did I," Loboto growled through his teeth, still refusing to look up.

Raz flinched; maybe he should have apologized, but it seemed too late for it now.

"...Caligosto."

In spite of how soft her voice had been, Milla immediately drew the attention of those present in the room (except for Loboto, whose optics had not turned from the window). Her face was drawn in sympathy, and she looked as though she wanted to move closer. "We understand that you didn't want this discussed—"

"But you did it anyway," Loboto snapped, finally looking up. His gaze was aimed at Milla, whose expression did not change, while Loboto's face twisted in a furious smile. "Yes! It's a common trend for you Psychonauts. 'Sorry to dredge up your worst memories, doctor, but it's for the mission!' 'We don't mean to hurt you, but we're going to use fifty different devices on you until we get what we want.' 'We won't barge into your brain without your permission, but we're gonna keep pestering you until we get that permission.' Right?"

Raz's gaze darted uneasily between Loboto and the others. While Truman and Oleander both glared at Loboto, the latter with his fists clenched, Otto merely watched on in surprise. Sasha's mouth was drawn in a tight line, but Milla, to Raz's surprise, didn't seem upset. If anything, she was looking at the doctor with more sympathy.

"We all want what's best for you, Caligosto," she said. "We know you're hurting, and—"

The doctor let out an ugly laugh that made Raz wince, and several others at the table gave a start.

"Oh! Were you serious?" he asked, his voice edged in bitterness. "Now you give me sympathy?" Again he let out another peal of laughter. "That's rich! What do you think it'll get out of me, huh? You think you can butter me up with a bunch of lies about feeling sorry for me? Won't work, you stupid—"

Sasha stood up, and Raz could feel the glare beneath his goggles. Loboto's gaze turned to meet him, though no part of him seemed intimidated.

"Enough!" Truman cried, standing up and urging Sasha to sit. "This will get us nowhere. What's done is done—we all understand what's happened to the doctor."

Slowly Sasha took a seat, and Truman with him. The room went silent again as some of the tension eased.

Raz was the one to break the silence this time. "So... what does this mean for us? For him?"

The Grand Head of the Psychonauts looked tired, and Raz wasn't sure if that was due to the situation or just his permanent state of being. "Well... that's what we're here to discuss," he said, leaning forward. "There's no precedent for this sort of thing happening. We've dealt with those who have attempted to hide psychic powers from us, but they never get very far. But to have had psychic powers..." He gestured uncertainly. "...removed, for lack of a better term, only for them to grow back..."

"It's extraordinary!" Otto cut in. "Imagine the implications! Truman, I know you've told me no before, but—"

"I don't think they grew back," Raz said, sitting up straighter. "I think he always had them, he was just... afraid to use them."

"Afraid?!" Loboto snarled. "I'm not afraid of anything!"

"Yeah," Oleander raised an eyebrow. "Just like you weren't afraid of Nick making you face an old lady—"

A pen weakly flicked across the desk in Oleander's direction, but that in combination with the glare Loboto was giving him silenced him.

"Enough about me," Loboto went on, finally facing the others. "Let's talk about you. Mainly, let's talk about you letting me out of here!"

"Oh yeah, you've proved yourself real trustworthy on that front," Oleander grumbled.

"You're one to talk about trust, mister traitor!" Loboto shot back, and Oleander grit his teeth.

"He did say he didn't want to take anyone's brains anymore, though," Raz said, looking over to Loboto. "Right?"

"Right, yes, no more 'stealing brains' on the menu for me. I'm fully reformed and ready to leave."

Truman eyed him, leaning away from his direction. "I'm... not sure we can trust him on that one."

"But I went into his mind and everything! I talked to his inner child, the one that was still afraid of using his powers. He... he said he didn't want to be messing with brains like his father did."

To Raz's surprise, Oleander's expression softened, while Otto and Sasha exchanged glances. "The deeper parts of the brain are more reliable than the surface level," Sasha put in begrudgingly.

Otto nodded. "That's right. I don't believe there's any reason to distrust him in that regard."

Finally Loboto seemed to brighten, his gaze darting between Sasha, Otto, and Truman.

"That is good to know," Truman admitted, rubbing his forehead, and Loboto's smile almost looked genuinely happy for once. "But that says nothing about whether or not he could plan to hurt others, which he has plenty of means to do with his newfound psychic abilities."

Loboto's face fell, and he kicked the underside of the desk.

"Further investigation and treatment will be needed," Truman went on. "In addition, I'd like to see some form of psychic training for him to give him proper control of those powers."

"Training?!" Loboto wailed.

He wasn't the only one bewildered by the Grand Head's statement. Sasha and Milla were both eyeing each other in silent communication. Otto meanwhile leaned back, rubbing his chin in thought, and Oleander looked between Loboto and Truman a few times. "No offense, sir," he began, "but is it really in our best interest to get that bozo to hone his psychic powers?"

"You tell me, Agent Oleander." Truman raised a brow. "You work at the camp. You of anyone should know how much of a danger untrained psychics can be, both to themselves and others."

"...Point taken."

Looking away, Raz gripped the armrests of his chair. "Learning how to use them the right way is important, too."

"Exactly," Truman said, and Raz felt his heart lift a little. "With that settled, I believe we're in agreement?"

"No, we're not in agreement!" Loboto growled. "I didn't agree to any of this!"

Truman eyed him evenly. "If you're so eager to leave, doctor, we can have that arranged."

"Oh, good! Call me a cab, then, why don't you—"

As Truman leaned toward Loboto, the faintest smile appeared on his face. "No, I believe the police would be the ones escorting you."

Loboto's optics flashed, and he growled, kicking the table again. Half a second later, one of the pens sitting atop the table flicked in Truman's direction.

Without a hint of acknowledgement, Truman faced the rest of the table. "Now, given the strangeness of the circumstances, I believe Agent Aquato is in need of some assistance."

Jumping in his chair, Raz faced Truman anxiously. "Oh—I-I'm sorry, Grand Head Zanotto—"

"There's no need to apologize, Agent Aquato. You haven't done anything wrong. But as we've seen that this mission is a bit heavier than originally expected, I'm assigning you a senior agent to accompany you." With that, Truman's gaze turned to Oleander, who gave a jerk of surprise. "Agent Oleander, from here on out, you will be accompanying Agent Aquato on his mission."

"Wh-what?!" Oleander cried. "But sir, I have things to finish before I head back—"

"Oh, don't worry, Morry," Otto said with a laugh. "Your pet projects will be waiting for you when you return to the base."

Groaning, Oleander gave a defeated nod. "Yes, sir, I'll take care of it." He rubbed his chin in thought. “Well, guess I can’t complain too much about being sent on a mission…” Casting a glance back at Loboto, however, he frowned. “Just wish it wasn’t this one.”

Loboto huffed.

“Well, I wish I didn’t have to assign you this one either,” Truman went on, “but given you’re the only other senior agent available at the moment, I don’t have much choice in this matter. Just remember you do still need to report back to Agents Nein, Vodello, and me. Understood?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

Truman clapped his hands together. "Good. If we've no more dissenting opinions here, I think I'm good to call this meeting to a close." Glancing at a clock on the wall, he frowned. "Normally I would send you off on your mission immediately, but since timing isn't dire here, I think we could all use some rest. Agents Nein, Vodello." The two turned their attention to him. "Has your examination of Gristol Malik ruled out the possibility of psychic powers?"

"That is correct, Truman," Sasha confirmed. "We've made little progress, but that's one thing we're certain of."

"Excellent. We'll have him moved from the psychoisolation chambers and to one of the holding cells. Since we've determined Loboto can use psychic powers, he'll be held in psychoisolation for the time being instead. I don't want those two anywhere near each other again," he finished with a shudder.

"I don't think he wants that either," Raz added quietly. He glanced back at Loboto, who gave a shudder as well.

"I don't mean to butt in, but my anti-psychic restraints haven't failed anyone yet," Otto said, leaning forward. "We could certainly use a set of those and just keep him in a holding cell—"

"Yeah, if you want him driven nuts from an itch in his back by morning," Oleander grumbled, reaching back to scratch his shoulder.

"Well, can't be much worse than a padded room and a straitjacket," Loboto said, and Raz turned to give him a worried look.

"It's been a long week," Milla put in. "The psychoisolation chamber will be more comfortable, and I think Caligosto could do with a proper rest."

"We all could. Including me." Truman pushed himself away from the desk, and all but Loboto followed suit. "Agents Nein and Vodello, if you could handle the transfer of Gristol Malik, please, and that should be all for tonight."

"Of course, sir," Sasha said. With that, he and Milla stepped out of the meeting room together, heading toward the Otto B.O.N. in Truman's office.

"As for Loboto," Truman went on, turning to face Raz, "would you and Agent Oleander move him to the psychoisolation chamber, please?"

"Yes, sir!" Raz said with a determined nod, and looked over to Oleander for confirmation. The Coach sighed begrudgingly, but nodded.

"I'll accompany them to make sure there's no mishaps," Otto said with a smile. "It's not far from my lab, anyway."

"Great!" Raz grinned, still ecstatic at the prospect of getting a mission straight from the Grand Head himself. However, his face fell when he looked back at Loboto, who still sat tensely in his chair. His expression did not change when Oleander lifted him back up with TK.

"Right. I got the cargo, so let's get going." Oleander opted to hoist him over the table rather than try to navigate him around the pushed-back chairs, then had to turn the doctor on his side to get him through the door. "Tall person comin' through... Hrmf. Don't get to say that often."

"Good night," Truman called, using his own TK to straighten up the meeting room as they stepped out.

As it wasn't possible to carry someone through the Otto B.O.N. system, the group had to walk all the way to the psychoisolation chamber. It was a good thing too, Raz realized, as it meant there was less of a risk of Loboto and Gristol seeing each other during the transfer; Sasha and Milla would have Gristol out long before they got there. Heck, they would probably get him to the holding cells before Raz's group even left the Motherlobe.

"This is some mission to have dropped on you before you head back to camp," Oleander muttered to himself as they descended down into the lobby.

"It seems like a fascinating opportunity!" Otto exclaimed. "I wish I'd been assigned to the case instead, but you know mental projection's not my forte."

"What a shame," Loboto mumbled, and Raz glanced back at him. His head and his optics were drooping, the lights in them dim. He didn't seem the type to give up easily, so he chalked it up to exhaustion.

Otto either ignored the comment or didn't seem to notice. "You'll have to tell me all about it when you're done."

"Yeah, sure thing," Oleander said, rolling his eye.

As they walked, Raz’s initial excitement of being sent on another mission by the Grand Head himself began to fade, and he thought about the reality of what it entailed. Soon now they’d be entering Loboto’s head yet again… and he mulled over what he’d seen there last time. A thought struck him, and he reached out to Oleander silently: Hey, Coach, can I ask you something?

Shoot, private.

Glancing back at Loboto, Raz frowned. You remember what I said about when I talked to Loboto’s inner child… but I don’t get what happened at the end. He kinda… wasn’t Loboto’s inner child anymore. Or something?

Oleander’s brow furrowed. That’s still him, though. Your inner child’s still a part of you, unless something weird’s going on.

Raz’s heart sank. So… that was really just Loboto the whole time, pretending to be a kid?

What? No, this stuff’s a lot more complicated than that. Oleander lifted his helmet with one hand to scratch beneath it with the other. Look, soldier, I’m a drill sergeant, not a psychologist. This part of the mind’s not my forte, but… Sasha was right about what he said earlier. The inner child’s a deeper part of you, and that stuff can’t really be faked.

While that did take the weight off Raz’s heart, he still found his brow furrowing in thought. But… how did he change like that?

I mean, I wasn’t there in the trenches with you when it happened… but it sounds like the main part of him figured out what was happening and stepped in and took control there.

Oh, I guess that makes sense… Looking back at Loboto again, though, it didn’t look like any part of him was in control now, as he was nearly dozing off in Oleander’s grip. He turned back to the Coach. Thank you, sir. He paused as something else occurred to him. But how come that never happened with your— He broke off, realizing that might not be a good thing to bring up at the moment.

At first he thought the Coach might’ve caught what he was saying, as Oleander winced when they stepped outside. The moon and stars shone in the dark-blue sky above, while lights scattered throughout the quarry kept the different paths lit. Raz was worried that Oleander was upset about the mention of his own mental world until he realized what the Coach was looking at.

The psychoisolation chamber sat on the other side of the quarry, and Oleander glanced from it, to Loboto, and then to Otto. "Say, Otto, speakin' of what you were saying earlier, about things that aren't people's fortes... D'you mind carrying him from here, Otto? I'm not crossin' all that with this bozo in tow."

"Not at all!" Brightening, Otto reached out with his own telekinetic hand, which snatched Loboto the second Oleander let go, quickly enough that the doctor didn’t seem to notice, his head still bobbing as he dozed.

"Thanks. Meet you there." With that, the Coach made for the nearest Otto B.O.N., leaving Raz and Otto to bring Loboto the rest of the way themselves. The trip across the quarry would involve a lot of levitation jumps for Raz, while Otto gracefully hovered alongside him, carrying Loboto just behind.

"Oh, this should be interesting as well!" Otto said as they finally approached the massive building.

Raz released his final thought bubble and landed softly on his feet. "What should?"

Otto carefully landed next to Raz. "Given the condition of his brain and the fact that you've recently reactivated his powers," he began, and completely failed to notice the sudden frantic gestures from Raz to stop talking, "I'm curious as to how it'll react to the filtered psilirium—"

"Wh-what?!" Loboto jerked fully awake, and his mechanical eyes retracted.

"Otto—" Raz hissed urgently, but the scientist went on:

"Oh, you know, psilirium has this peculiar effect on psychics—"

"I know what it does!" Loboto cried, flailing in Otto's grip. "Let me go! You're not giving that stuff to me again! I'll give you all a root canal!"

"Doctor Loboto, hey!" Raz called softly, rushing up to the doctor's side. "Listen, it'll be okay. It's filtered psilirium—it's not the same stuff they used on you, or what you used on Truman, all right? I know it sounds scary, but you're gonna be okay."

"Who said I was scared?!" Loboto snarled, in spite of the way he trembled in Otto's grasp.

"Razputin's not wrong, hypothetically," Otto put in. "I developed the first psychoisolation chambers with Compton Boole myself, and they're perfectly safe for both regular and non-psychics." Though whether they’ll be safe for you, we’ll have yet to see, he went on in his mind, and Raz winced.

"Come on," Raz said, waving them on ahead. "That receptionist is probably driving the Coach crazy..."

Once they took the lift up, they found that to be exactly the case. Oleander was leaning against the wall opposite of the check-in desk and massaging his temple, while Terryl was leaning over her desk and toward him, somehow seeming overwhelming in spite of being several yards away. "Yes, Terryl, I get it—"

"But you know, it's always so nice to hear from the senior agents! I don't see much of them other than Boole and Forsythe—HI!" she called, waving enthusiastically at the ones who had entered. "Hi! Hii! Oh, Otto Mentallis! And that boy from the other day! And... Hackett? Did I get your name right? Did I?"

"Oh finally," Oleander said, shoulders slumping in relief as he approached them. "Took you guys long enough to get here."

"We're here on an assignment from Truman," Otto said, nodding toward Terryl.

She beamed in excitement. "That's right! Agent Oleander was just telling me about that!"

"I was trying to..."

"Yes," Raz put in, holding up a finger as he approached the desk. "We just need to put Doctor Loboto here in a chamber overnight. Can you do that?"

"Not a problem! I just need some forms filled out." With that, she heaved a weighty stack of papers onto the desk.

"Uh—"

"Oh, I'll handle this," Otto said, quickly trading Loboto off to Oleander again and approaching the desk. "You two take him up to his room and let me know what happens."

Oleander glanced from Loboto to Terryl. "Yeah, but which—"

"Oh, it'll just be room two. One still needs to get cleaned out." Terryl waved them off and turned her attention back to Otto. "So Agent Mentallis, have you got any new inventions brewing?"

"Well, I—"

"Oh I just love that mental cobweb one, haha! Though I don't think I'd ever need to use it on myself!"

Leaving Otto to his fate, Raz and Oleander sneaked over to the levitation funnel, letting the Thinkerprint run its scan before they slipped inside with Loboto. "Geez, I thought we'd never get out of there," Oleander said, heaving a sigh of relief as Raz punched the button for room two.

Once they reached their destination, Loboto frowned down at the funnel. "My old elevator was much more efficient than these..."

"Pshaw." Oleander eyed Loboto askance. "The weirdo you had running that thing only let you up."

"Exactly!"

While Oleander and Loboto bickered, Raz approached the psychoisolation room before them, staring through the transparent walls. Unlike the one Compton had stayed in, which seemed cluttered and personalized, this one was a lot simpler. At one end sat a desk and a chair with paper and pens, and opposite of that was a twin bed. Just across from the door to the chamber was a bookshelf lined with a variety of psychic-related books and what looked like a stack of out-of-date magazines. In front of that was a flower-pattern bean bag chair. "Huh, looks cozy," Raz remarked.

"Could use a dentist chair and a... sink..." Loboto trailed off, his gaze drifting up above the chamber, then below it.

"What's eatin' you?" Oleander asked, raising an eyebrow. Both he and Raz followed the doctor's gaze, seeing the clusters of yellow psychoreactive crystals above and below the chamber. "What, scared of a little psilirium? You sure weren't before, back at the Rhombus."

"I'm not scared!" Loboto snarled, head snapping over in the Coach's direction. "Just not impressed with its lack of basic dental facilities!"

He didn't have his psychic powers before, Raz said telepathically. Also I... I think they used it on him when they... um... operated.

Oleander's mocking attitude quickly faded. Oh.

"I told you before, it'll be okay, Loboto," Raz said, giving what he hoped looked like an encouraging smile. "This stuff won't hurt you."

"I'm sure!" Loboto cried, kicking his feet in the air. Oleander had to hold him further away to avoid getting kicked in the face. "Just like what that green man put me through!"

"Eh, Nein's got some questionable methods," Oleander countered, "but Razputin's right. These psychoisolation chambers are fine, if a bit dull. I committed myself in one of these for a few hours once."

"Wait, really?" Raz turned to look at the Coach, brows raised.

"Vodello convinced me to try meditating in one once. I uh... fell asleep." Oleander scratched the back of his head. "Feels weird bein' in 'em, since you can't use your powers, but it's peaceful enough, I guess. Anyway, let's get you in here and go home."

Before Raz could ask how to get into the chamber, Oleander approached the door and placed a hand to his temple. Something within the door gave a quiet bleep, and it swung open. "All right, tall guy," he said, pulling Loboto feet-first into the short tunnel leading up to the door. "In you g—"

Loboto braced his feet against either side of the doorway.

"Oh come on!"

"No!" Loboto cried. His legs strained as Oleander tried to pull him into the chamber via telekinesis. "I'm not going in there! I've had enough!"

Oleander grit his teeth, only for his mouth to quirk in a strained smile. "All right, fine, have it your way." With that, he eased Loboto backwards out of the entryway... only to spin him around to attempt to shove him through the door headfirst.

Loboto kicked him square in the head, sending his helmet flying.

"AGH!"

"You know the orderlies did eventually give up trying to keep me in solitary," Loboto said matter-of-factly while Oleander rubbed his head. "I can keep this up far longer than you can!"

"You oversized toothpick! I'm gonna—"

"Coach, stop!" Raz got between the two of them, for all the good it would do. He took a quick glance back at Loboto to make sure he wouldn’t kick him in the head as well. "I don't think this is helping."

Oleander raised a brow at him as he reached down to pick up his helmet. "You got any better ideas, soldier?"

Biting his lip, Raz turned around to face the doctor. "...Doctor Loboto," he said slowly, "I know you don't have a lot of reasons to trust us. I know it... hasn't been fun for you here."

"Not for any of us, either," Oleander muttered.

"To say the least!" Loboto shot back.

Raz ignored the comments. "But... can you at least trust me?"

The request caught Loboto off-guard. His optics flicked from Raz, to Oleander, and back, and he let out an uncertain grumble before looking away.

Hesitantly Raz reached out, and took Loboto's hand.

The doctor gave a body-wide jerk, swinging his head over to glare down at Raz. He struggled to pull his hand away (not an easy task with his arms pinned to his side), but stopped. Slowly his gaze turned to his hand, then back to Raz, who kept a firm but gentle grip. The lights in his eyes flicked once in a blink.

"Please," Raz urged. "Just this once."

Loboto looked down at the floor, and remained silent.

Look, soldier, I don't think this is gonna work, Oleander said over telepathy, and Raz lowered his head. Give me a minute and I'll call for backup—

"Okay."

Wait what—

Raz's head snapped back up to find Loboto was looking at him again. "You—?"

"I said okay!" Loboto snapped. "You need a signed form or something?"

"I—no! No, that's fine!" Glancing back at Oleander, Raz found him just as surprised. "I guess, uh..." Strangely, he found himself smiling up at the doctor. "...Thanks."

Loboto's eyes flicked over to his right. "Hurry up before I change my mind."

"Welp, you heard the man," Oleander said, preparing to move him via TK again, but Raz held up a hand. "Huh?"

"No, Coach... Could you let him go?"

"Are you kidding me?!" the Coach cried. He looked down at Raz, who maintained eye contact with him, and sighed. "All right..." He heaved a sigh, then pointed a threatening finger at Loboto. "If you try anything funny, I'll send you sailing into the wall like I did earlier."

"That won't be easy for me. I have quite the sense of humor, you know!"

"Rrgh..."

Slowly Oleander lowered Loboto until his feet touched the ground, and released him from his telekinetic grip. Raz, meanwhile, kept hold of his hand.

"Ready?" Raz asked, giving him a gentle tug toward the entryway.

"Not really, but it's not like you give me much of a choice." Loboto's brow furrowed, but he hesitantly allowed Raz to lead him toward the psychoisolation room. He had to duck to get through the entryway, and stopped just before the door. His breathing had quickened.

Raz squeezed his hand, and led him into the chamber.

The world fell silent.

Raz let out a gasp, and Loboto started as well, looking around the chamber and down at himself. But no, he could hear the sound of his own breathing and the tapping of Loboto’s boots against the floor. He hadn't lost his hearing—he'd lost his sixth sense.

He hadn't realized how many voices he'd learned to tune out until they were suddenly gone.

Otherwise, though, he felt fine—like he could still run and jump his way through the quarry, albeit without levitation. He shook his head. "Sorry, that just startled me, is all. How are you feeling, Doctor Loboto?"

"Uh... okay..." He gingerly brought his claw up to his shower cap. "I think...?"

"It does feel a little weird at first, but... see? We're both fine!"

"I suppose so." Loboto looked down, saw Raz was still holding his hand, and roughly yanked it away. "Enough of that!"

"Right, sorry." With that, Raz backed away toward the door. "Well... goodnight, Doctor Loboto."

Loboto looked away, muttering something that may have been "goodnight” before his optics turned back to focus on him intently. He took a step toward him, looking like he was about to reach out with his prosthetic.

"Uh... See you tomorr—woah!"

Raz was yanked backward out of the chamber, and the door slammed behind him. All at once his psychic senses came back, leaving his head swimming, and he was pretty sure he briefly saw figments. When his vision returned to normal, he found the Coach glaring through the slot in the door. "Hey," Raz protested, "what was that—"

Oleander whipped back around to face him, his face red. "What were you doing, Raz?!" he hissed, and Raz took a step back in surprise. After casting a quick glance back at the chamber behind him, the Coach hurried out of the entryway tunnel.

Brow furrowed, Raz followed him out. "I was getting him into the chamber! What do you think I—"

"You got the both of you into that chamber!" Oleander whispered harshly, pointing an accusing finger in Raz's face. Before Raz could protest, he went on, "He doesn't have his psychic powers in there, but neither do you! Who do you think's gonna win in a fight between you and a nine-foot-tall criminal, huh?"

Raz felt the blood drain from his face as he envisioned the claw that had reached toward him, and his stomach fell. "Oh... oh, man, I didn't even think..."

"I told you, he's unpredictable! You could've—!" Oleander cut himself off, and sighed, the proper color finally returning to his face. He dragged his hand over it.

Raz's gaze drifted to the floor. "Sorry, Coach," he said, his voice catching.

"Ugh. I'm sorry too, soldier. You just... scared me for a minute there." Looking back up, Raz found Oleander eyeing Loboto through the transparent walls. "Y’know, there's a reason I..." He trailed off.

"...A reason you what, sir?" Raz asked, swallowing.

The Coach gave a start. "Nothing, it's... nothing. C'mon, let's get you out of here."

Raz followed Oleander back to the levitation funnel, but looked back into the chamber just before they descended.

Loboto stared back, red-and-green eyes piercing into his own.

—~~~—

Raz wrapped his arms around himself as he hopped out of the Otto B.O.N. He'd parted ways with Oleander and Otto, but the Coach's words were still ringing in his head.

He knew Loboto was unpredictable. Even before Oleander had said it, he'd known. He'd seen what had happened in the Rhombus, when Loboto had gone from freeing everyone one moment to blowing up the place the next. And even hours ago, he'd just been helping Loboto's inner child, only for the doctor to use his newfound psychic abilities against him. Raz had his own psychic powers though, too, and if worse came to worst, he probably could've held his own against Loboto. But... in the psychoisolation chamber...

Who do you think's gonna win in a fight between you and a nine-foot-tall criminal, huh?

Loboto wouldn't... really hurt him now, would he? After all that had happened?

As he returned to the caravan and his mom chided him for coming home so late (but handed him the leftovers she'd set aside for him), he found his thoughts still drifting back to the mission.

No, Loboto couldn't be completely unpredictable. There had to be a reason for the way he acted.

He'd just have to find it.

Upon finishing dinner, Raz felt like he had weights tied to his limbs. He somehow managed to stumble off to bed, finally managing to relax among the familiar smells and sounds of his home, grateful to have somewhere safe to return to after a long day. But as he settled into his blankets, a thought crossed his mind:

Where did Loboto have to return to?

#caligosto loboto #razputin aquato #morceau oleander #otto mentallis #psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #truman zanotto #sasha nein #milla vodello #my art #my writing #fanfic #psychics ruin everything

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rknchan · 5 months

Note

rodyer/raz and hmmmmm. Yulivara. >:3

(Also You definitely have to watch demons 2006 it changed my brain chemistry even though I watched it without eng subs that’s how good it was it transcended by inability to understand 90% of what they were saying)

1 raz rodyer (i said its not for me, because im much more obsessed with rodyer x sonyer, but theyre still precious)

2 yulivara (i never thought about em but your brain is huge. need to think about it when rereading demons)

------------

omggggg you surprised me at this one --

i only saw a few screencaps from this and found the actors quite inaccurate (specifically kolokolnikov as stavrogin. he looks as a highschooler. help) but if its so good and impressed you so much?! I'M IN

by the way if you liked kolokolnikov, stavrogin's actor, maybe you'd like 'a hero of our time' 2006 series. based on another classic novel by lermontov. here he plays grushnitsky, a very pathetic young man and a special lil meow meow for me who also has some homoerotic scenes w pechorin

#asks

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raz-writes-the-thing · 6 days

Note

hey raz! i heard you’re looking for tv show recommendations. you’ve come to the right place!

community is my favorite tv show in the whole world. depending on your country, you can find it on netflix, hulu, or prime i think. for me, it’s on hulu.

it’s a tv show about a group of lovable misfits in a community college. this show is a sitcom. it’s not what it seems! there are so many homage episodes, they make constant references, and this is the only sitcom not afraid to get emotional. it’s also incredibly funny!

each character has their own distinct personality, and this show is not like other sitcoms at all. most sitcoms need to have a cap on what can actually realistically happen, but at a community college that’s anything!

they even have a knockoff version of doctor who so that they can make references without getting sued. it’s called inspector spacetime!

trust me, there are so many more layers to this show. it’s one of my favorite things in the whole world. it’s my favorite thing to binge!!

Hey! Oh my gosh thank you so much!

So I tried watching Community last year w my now-ex and I wasn't a fan of the three or four episodes I watched but at the time my ex and I were kinda having the shits with each other and it was their idea to put Community on so I think that's maybe why I didn't like it?

Your ask has convinced me to give it another go though. So after I finish Succession I might try Community again.

Thank you so so much for this recommendation <3 I love it when you guys reach out with little pieces of your soul you think I might also like to try <3 <3

#raz answers the thing

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like-wuatafauq · 7 months

Text

Things that have genuinely helped me with PTSD: TW:

(These are some things that worked for me that I figured out so they might not work for everyone)

• I took myself to a wreck room so I could wreck something without injuring myself (if you can't afford this, use old clothes, fabrics and tear it or just simply throw it out. This helped me a lot when it comes down to SA)

• Touching the nearest texture(like a wall or fabric) and focusing on it, I use this often when my mind confuses the location/time I'm at.

• Looking at the year/date and thinking how I'm no longer there or something is no longer happening

• Thinking of someone who calms me (if you feel that you don't have someone, think of how your body is there for you and trying its best, I've done both and when it comes down to thinking of my body caring for me it also helped me start caring for my body and taking the steps to feel/be more healthy, this eventually led me to do less selfharm things)

• Knowing that just because I'm trying to be healthy/ get better doesn't mean I should be mean to myself when I'm not.

• Practicing breathing techniques every now and then even when I'm not having a ptsd attack

• Allowing yourself to be cared for little by little to what you're comfortable of course but the right people/partner won't see you as a burden

• I struggled a lot with nightmares not just from SA but other life and military things so I stopped dissecting the nightmares to "fix" myself and would remind myself they are just nightmares, I also go to sleep with piano music instead of other music or even orchestra music that has big jumps in the song. Good examples of the calm piano music:

Stuff We Did by Michael Giacchino,Olga Scheps,

Before You Left by Yehezkel Raz

An Elephant for Mum by Joachim Heinrich

Back in Time by Borrtex.

Because these types of songs don't have drastic changes in volume/tempo throughout the song that can cause more sleep disturbance.

• Letting people know what your triggers are but also working on how they don't always have to be a trigger for you. What I mean: cabinets, doors or anything being slammed or making a slamming noise always triggers me and I've let my roommates know which they've done very good at but when they are rushing and something gets slammed etc. I remind myself they are not doing it on purpose and they are not trying to hurt me. I still flinch, I still worry, but not as much anymore and over time I've been able to even ask if something is up which before I use to just have a sinking feeling they were mad and would take it out on me. It helped me a lot to realize that just because I have a trigger not everyone is going to hurt me

• Doing childlike things help!!! Pretend ptsd is a bully and it's just being mean to you, tell it to go away!! I use to open up a window at night after I had a nightmare and would be like "okay that was mean go away"

• Going back to therapy and taking meds (and if you are already taking meds this is a quick reminder to take your meds with food and water so it doesn't upset your stomach)

• Deciding to actually move on. I have talked to multiple therapists about things but it took me a while to realize talking about it helps but doesn't always work on letting it go. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOURE GOING TO FORGET AND ITLL MAGICALLY DISSAPPEAR. This all took years, effort, and also allowing myself to take breaks, reminding myself that just because I still get nightmares, have triggers etc. Doesn't mean there isn't improvement. And just because there is improvement doesn't mean that what happened is no longer "as bad". It does not invalidate how bad it was. A big thing with any mental health disorders is admitted and allowing yourself to see that you're dealing with something hard. Just because what happened doesn't seem as bad or affect me as much anymore doesn't mean it wasn't a terrible thing, it certainly doesn't mean that if someday I need to breakdown as if it happened yesterday that all that work was for nothing. It was for something. It was to enjoy life a little better, care for myself a little better, be able to have better in all sorts of aspects. You deserve to be happy,loved and cared for after something shitty happened. Because the truth is it was shit. Can you honestly expect someone to go through something insane and be sane? No, so go easy on yourself, take your time. The right people will be there for you, The right people will show up, The right people will stay and put effort and won't see you as a waste or burden.

I hope this helps anyone even just a tiny bit. If you need someone to talk to, rant or ask for advice etc. Just leave me a msg or an Ask, anon or not. Take care, it's going to be alright. And if it's shitty now, and there's nothing good anyone can say then, it's shit that's fucking shitty and you're allowed to feel like shit. Lastly, if you're not able to fully recover, I'm still proud of you and you should be too.

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aztr0punk · 3 months

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the way drift keeps getting remixes/reskins is what they need to do with raz. can we have raz in a suit pleae. maybe in a cyberpunk style? by chance can we get a christmas raz wearing a sweater w/ a Spire decorated in christmas lights?

#raz fortnite #this is Propaganga #i love this stupid man if only you all knew #fortposting

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insensiblelimerence · 2 years

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crimson stained marbles

pairing: fatherfigure! zhongli , gn! reader

<࿐.

CW: manipulation, mentions of blood, death, squid game spoilers

recommended song: SPACE SONG, BUTTERFLY’S REPOSE

“YOU ARE TO CHOOSE A PARTNER TO CONTINUE TO THE FOURTH ROUND. YOU WILL HAVE TEN MINUTES. STARTING, NOW.”

the disgustingly cheerful voice echoed throughout the white room, ringing violently in the participant’s ears.

“tch. a partner?” a short man styling a unique bowl cut hairstyle remarked, crossing his arms. “whatever.”

he turned his head to a random person, and pointed at them with a scowl. “you. be my partner.”

“heh.. sorry! me and raz- i mean 378 are already partners. sorry sir!” a young green-eyed boy chirped, awkwardly rubbing his nape.

a large hand was placed on a jacket covered shoulder, alerting the person whom was touched.

“[name], would you like to be my partner?” the old soul questioned, a faint smile adorning his features.

[name] narrowed their eyes worriedly. “mr. zhongli.. i’m not the smartest in the world, and couldn’t really provide that much strength wise. you’d be better off with someone more qualified.”

the older man chuckled. “no need to worry. as a human, you are far more experienced in the thoughts and actions of others that are your kind. i find that quite useful. i am merely a powerless god in this estate…. and i would enjoy being your partner no matter the situation.”

“i-“ the [h/c] haired person kept their doubts inside, smiling up crookedly at zhongli. “right… y’know what? sure. i’ll be your partner.”

the two sat on the steps as they watched others partner up.

a renowned traveller and their flying guide,

a distant demon yaksha and half-adeptus,

an unlucky adventurer with his wolf-like best friend,

a red headed and a blue haired pair of siblings whom care for one another from a distance,

a chief alchemist and his faithful assistant,

the tianquan and the famous drunkard captain of the crux,

the acting grand master with a faithful maid both from mondstadt,

an eternal ruler and her pink-haired long time friend,

“YOU HAVE ZERO SECONDS REMAINING.”

“shall we?” the geo archon questioned, extending his hand.

the younger person chuckled nervously before nodding and taking his hand, following him like a young child through the complex staircases.

arriving to their destination, [name]’s jaw drops at the sight. it was like all of teyvat’s scenery all in one. mondstadt, liyue harbor, inazuma city, you name it. they were too occupied to notice zhongli receiving a bag of marbles.

“YOU MAY PICK A PLACE TO SETTLE, AND WE SHALL EXPLAIN THE RULES.”

the [s/c] skinned person cringed at the cheerful voice once more.

as someone from natlan, [name] greatly wanted to go to the natlan themed area, looking into zhongli’s eyes to ask for approval.

he smiled, already knowing. “of course. lead the way.”

despite the more than slightly intimidating scenario they were in, the human grinned from ear to ear, a shine glimmering in their eyes, like [c/e] themed crystals.

—

“oh… w-wow…. i…” [name] fumbled over their words, holding back the tears that prickled at their [e/c] eyes. “it looks… just like my village…” their eyes darted frantically, yearning to see the home they left oh so many years ago. “there…! my.. my house!” they ran ahead, leaving zhongli to trail quickly behind, a guard not too far back.

they slammed the door open, and was awestruck. everything was exactly how they left it. exactly what it looked like the last time they saw their mother. everything was so… nostalgic. the two walk in, venturing around.

“hm.. you look awfully young in this photo, [name].” the tall man commented as he held up a frame.

said person furrowed their brows. “momma never left family photos in the main room, only in the bedrooms. can i see?” they asked, turning to zhongli.

“is that…”

“a memorial of sorts, i suppose.”

[name] snorted, examining the strange table that was kept nice and neat next to the fireplace. there were flowers, white chrysanthemums, to be more specific. “odd.”

“I WILL NOW EXPLAIN THE RULES OF THE GAME.”

a voice boomed over the intercom.

“THERE ARE NO CONCRETE RULES. YOU WERE ASKED TO SPLIT INTO TEAMS OF TWO. YOU MAY PLAY ANY GAME YOU LIKE, THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE VIOLENCE. WHOEVER WINS WITH ALL TWENTY MARBLES SHALL PASS.”

[name] slowly looked up at zhongli, horrified. “we have to… go against each other…?” they gripped their head, suddenly crouching and staring at the disgusting dirt. “i should have known.. i would have partnered up with that bowl cut douche..! oh no… i’ll… i don’t know what i’ll do…” they panicked, quickly overwhelmed by the information.

the archon calmly crouched down alongside the person, rubbing circles in their back. “now now, [name], let us not panic.”

they grit their teeth. “how exactly should we do that?! one of us is gonna die… there’s nothing we can do.” they suddenly stood up, whipping their body to face the masked soldier. “what happens if we don’t participate?” they questioned firmly, pointing directly at the guard and biting their lip aggressively until it bled.

it said nothing, only gripping their weapon tighter as it’s hands shook.

[name] said nothing after that, only staring at the guard for a solid ten seconds before plopping down on the blanket drowned couch, curling into a ball and facing the pillows; throwing their arms over their face.

“[name], i have a proposal.”

said person only groaned in response. they had given up quickly.

“we’ll wait until the last few minutes, and then play a little game.” zhongli stated, nearing the couch. “what do you say, young one?”

an [e/c] eye peeked from their arm, analyzing the older man’s demeanor. they stayed there for a minute, then sitting up, leaving space for zhongli to sit next to them. the two sat for a minute or two in silence, ignoring the gunshots and silent pleas echoing throughout the simulation-like room.

“hm.. we never truly got to know each other. how about we start with that?” he pondered. “how old are you?”

[name] fiddled with their fingers. “fourteen.”

zhongli was rather taken aback, he understood there were a select few sixteen-to-seventeen year-olds… but… fourteen, huh? “i see. well, i am over six thousand years old, unfortunately.” he chuckled.

the teen’s eyes formed into saucers, trying to speak but nothing came out. they knew he was an older god, but six-thousand plus years-old?! “jeez,” they scoffed. “you’re really really old.”

zhongli’s lips thinned as he smiled. “yes. i am ‘really really old.’”

“what kind of dreams did you have for liyue when you finally became the archon?” [name] spoke.

the brown haired man cleared his throat at the thought of his past self. “considering i was rather angry at everything during that time period, i never thought of any plans, really. someone i cared for greatly was the one who would really make all of the decisions.”

“guizhong?” they answered.

“yes. it seems you are quite knowledgeable on liyue’s past.”

[name] laughed. “don’t get me starter on shneznaya, my archons. my momma was so strict about it. i mean that’s not enough to hear of guizhong, but i got really curious and interpreted old books.”

zhongli’s smile seemed to get wider. “is that so? it’s a wonderful trait to have such knowledge and curiosity about the world.”

“or, basic geography as momma calls it. plus a little research of course.”

he straightens his back, looking forward. “it’s not just that, child. you are well-informed on each region’s history as well, expanding it beyond geography. you’d be an excellent historian about all regions if you studied at the right school. you so easily memorized the history of seven different regions, it’s outstanding! and i “really really” mean it.”

“jeez, pops, i’m not sure you using slang is a thing i’ll ever get used to.” [name] joked, hoping he won’t see their flustered expression.

“pops?” their eyes go wide.

“i’m so sorry mr. zhongli! it slipped i swear! i promise to never do it again!” they spoke, flailing their hands around.

zhongli chuckles. “no no, i am fond of the endearing nickname you have just bestowed upon me… pops. i could easily get used to that. human slang? i still don’t know.”

his joke brings the kid to laughter, a ray of happiness shining it’s way into the chaotic darkness of the fatui’s game.

“alrighty then, pops it is.”

“lovely. hm.. let me think of another.. what do you want to be? when this is all over.”

“well currently speaking it’s more of an if i get out. i mean.. i guess being a historian sounds cool, but i wanna fight too. i wanna protect people. i don’t wanna be part of the natlan military, though. all they deal with is people losing their cats and such. they don’t protect people, just their exploding idea that the civilian is always correct bullshit. i kinda wanna be like the renowned traveller, who’s made their way all over the world, protecting people. they inspire me, a lot.”

“that is a wonderful dream, [name]. although i’m sure the natlan military does more than that.”

“if they did, i’d know i few people that would still be here.”

“…i see.”

“TEN MINUTES REMAINING. I REPEAT. TEN MINUTES REMAIN.”

being brought back into the world, sounds of gun shots echo every so often. the roofless replica of [name]’s former home is not so homey anymore.

“right.. we’re in the fucking ultra modern fatui apocalypse.” they groan. “i hate fontaine for making such weapons.”

“[name].. i want you to listen to me carefully.”

a cold aura fills the room.

said child’s eyes meet zhongli’s now stone cold ones, a slight shiver leaving their back.

“yes..?”

“i want you to leave here alive. i will give you my marble thirty seconds before the timer is up and at ten seconds you will stand outside the house after you hand your marble to the fatui member, do you understand?”

“what happened to the little game?!” they ask frantically.

“the game will be to close your eyes and cover your ears once you leave.”

“NO NO NO! I REFUSE. I FUCKING REFUSE! I REFUSE THIS STUPID THING! i.. i have nothing left in my life to live for, i left home! i dont have a job! i’m a broke kid with nothing in their name! for celestia’s sake i beg, i steal, i lie! i don’t have friends, acquaintances, nobody! you were my first friend! i can’t have you die on me! you have family, friends! i’ve seen you with the yaksha, he’s like your son! and the travelle-“

“hush, young one.” zhongli says sternly. “all those things you’ve had to do were for survival, and look at you. here you are, still alive. you’ve survived this far, i cannot let you die like that. and xiao, the yaksha. he is old enough to not need my help. and yes, you’re right. he is like my son. but the boy has other people in his life that care for him.”

“half of those people will be wiped out in this endless game of torture! only one of these people will come out alive!”

“and i want that person to be you.”

“mr. zhongli that’s selfish!”

“i am well aware of my selfishness. now sit back down, i have something to show you.”

zhongli eyes the guard that is now facing the other direction.

“give me your hands, if you will.”

he removes something from his pocket, revealing a fake vision.

“i-“

“sh.” he says softly.

gently pushing the crystal out of its shell, proving his strength as a god. “now they would’ve taken it from me if it was real, but it had no reaction to the vision machine i suppose you could call it. i of course no longer need it. i am merely a mortal now, having no powers whatsoever.”

he places it in [name]’s hands. “be careful when you do get vision, because it likely won’t fit. you are from natlan after all.”

“ONE MINUTE REMAINS. NO MORE WARNINGS EXCEPT THE TEN SECOND COUNTDOWN WILL BE ANNOUNCED.”

“isn’t this just perfect.” sarcasm seeped through your clenched teeth as you spoke, the two of you standing up.

“i’d like to thank you for your time. i appreciate your willingness to bare through this “clusterfuck” of a experience as you’ve called it. you’ve made this more enlightening, and have helped me come to terms with many things i have not before.” zhongli said, a soft look in his eyes.

a short silence intervenes, and zhongli hands over the marbles to [name].

“i never had a dad, y’know?” they blurt.

more silence.

“you were… you were the first person to show me such an abundant amount of kindness, ever. i.. i thought that my life would be over once i was dragged into this asinine mess out of pure, dumb luck. i’m.. *hic* so happy that you were in my life, and willing to be for me when no one would.. thank you..”

zhongli pulls them into a hug as they cry into him. it was warm.

15 seconds.

he lets go, putting his hands on their shoulders.

“i want you to go now, understand? always remember. i’m proud of you. chase your future and never let go. but please, do work on your foul language. you can get in a lot of trouble for that.”

they let out a remorseful snort in response.

7 seconds.

“goodbye, [name].”

they walk away, taking one last look before giving the marbles to the fatui member, rushing outside to quickly crouch and cover their ears, clutching the vision shell.

SHCRACK!

[name] whimpers at the sound, crying at the vivid vision of the former god’s blood staining the grey walls and the beautiful, now red bidjar rug.

the timer hits zero, and red alarm sounds scream. a malfunction? their eyes snap open and a short figure looms over their cowering figure. “lets go, kid. gotta save that future he wanted you to have.”

you look up, seeing the yaksha himself.

he grips your wrist firmly, sprinting to the exit where many ran. why were so many of the teams still together? how could they? why did he have to die? how come that unlucky kid didn’t, or the fucking tianquan?!

a sudden flame sparked in their heart, and they feel their hands clench the shell with a stone grip. something was suddenly wrong with the shell. but what??they manage to bring their hand semi-close to their face, as their face suddenly swells with sadness. a freshly summoned geo vision had been carefully placed into the shell.

no fucking way.

somehow tears had now started to fall harder, loud hiccups leaving their throat.

the yaksha’s grip slightly loosens at the sight of the vision.

they’ll be okay. even if not now, they will in the future. he will only need to protect them from a distance.

after all, they still have him right beside them.

@insensiblelimerence 2022, do not repost at all.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin angst #zhongli x reader #zhongli #liyue #squid game #crossover #tw death #i wanna cry

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