#rambling about ships and my poor mental health | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luna-rainbow · 2 months

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i saw someone recently say that they preferred sambucky over stevebucky (either platonic or romantic tbh) because they felt bucky was happier not living under the shadow of his former self? suggesting that he intentionally spent most of him time post winter soldier away from steve because he didn't want to be compared to a former version of himself that he couldn't return to? I'm a big lover of stevebucky so the idea that steve wouldn't be able to stop comparing (even if subconsciously) post-ws bucky to pre-ws bucky made me question the ship slightly? or that bucky was actually happier without steve in the readjustment process bc he could become his own person without preconceived ideas of what he should be like hanging over his head. I've read a few fics about this and i kinda wanted to know what u thought - would steve's knowledge of the old bucky affect their relationship so negatively that bucky would be happier alone/with people unfamiliar with who he was before (sorry for the rambling question)

Thank you lovely for the very interesting ask! I love these kind of hypotheticals!

First and foremost, don't ever let anyone convince you that you're only allowed to ship one pairing. A lot of people DO only ship one ship, and kudos to them, but you are not a bad fan if you want to ship Bucky with multiple people. Heck, I got into Stucky via Sambucky, and uh…anyway, here I am.

The idea that "Bucky stayed away from Steve because he didn't want to be compared to old Bucky" is one of my favourite angsty "loss of innocence" tropes to explore -- because yes, that's going to be one of Bucky's major insecurities after the Winter Soldier. He isn't the same person as before and no matter how hard he tries, he's never going to go back to who he was before.

The absolutely fascinating part, then, is how a fanfic writer decides to address this. So yeah, I can see this as the jumping board for a SamBucky story (or any other non Stucky ship).

But this is also a concept that not only fits in well within the Stucky fanon/narrative, it's also crucial to explore in order to bring the two of them back together. How does Steve accept that Bucky has changed, and how does Bucky come to trust that Steve accepts this changed version of him?

The answer is, for me, this is Steve we're talking about. Steve with all his tenacity and empathy and loyalty. This is Steve who's known Bucky since childhood, who probably knows Bucky better than the current Bucky remembers himself. This is also a Steve has fought one of the bloodiest wars in history. He is young, but he's not naive. The people of his time didn't have the right words for it - but he has seen a lot of mental health issues on the field. He's come out on the other end of the war still believing in the goodness of humans (his "I'm willing to bet I'm not" speech), so I have no doubt he will look at Bucky and see that -- yeah, you've changed, you've had terrible things happen to you for well over half a century, but you are also still the same kind soul that I grew up with, and that kindness is what's most important; I can still see him in you, even if you are different, and I believe you deserve all the love I can give you.

And you know what, there IS canon evidence that Steve believes in Bucky, believes in the goodness that couldn't be burned away with 70 years of brainwashing. Sam saying to Steve - (Bucky) isn't the kind you save and he won't know you - and Steve replying without an ounce of doubt in his voice, "He will." Or Steve going after Bucky to save him from the SIT because "he'd have done the same for me".

I think another crux is that recent gif set - the "I'm following the little guy from Brooklyn" speech. That was a vow - it was Bucky saying "I loved you (platonically/romantically/wte) when you were a poor disabled scruffy kid in the dumps, and I will love you just the same even if you're a buff blue-eyed Adonis." Their story, as always, encircles each other's - it is now Steve's turn to say "I loved you when you were a nerdy protective flirt and I will love you just the same even if you're disabled and scruffy and dealing with horrendous PTSD". I think that vow also highlights just how important Steve was, even at that point, to Bucky, which means…their loyalty will always draw them back to each other. Once Bucky sees Steve has faith in him, he will have faith in himself to rebuild his identity in a way that's true to him.

It really depends on the writer, but most versions I’ve seen in which Steve and Bucky separate (over this issue) write Steve as either obtuse, selfish or emotionally immature…which is not how I read him to be. I think he has the emotional maturity to accept that Bucky will have similarities but will also have stark differences to who he once was...but then, time leaves its mark on everyone it touches, not just Bucky (I kinda touched on that concept on my "Learning to Want" fic *self plug*). It's a rough road and on some days there's going to be more setbacks than progress, and yeah on some days Steve is going to get frustrated and upset and maybe even a little defeatist, but I think both he and Bucky have that tenacious survivor streak in them that will pull them through, especially if they're together.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #asks #stucky meta

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the5n00k · 22 days

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Hawkeye Pierce: The Good, The Bad, and The Unmilitary

The long awaited first official M*A*S*H character analysis

It's not a secret to anyone aware of this blog that I fucking love Hawkeye. This piece of shit lives rent free in my mind and has lived rent free for the past four months. Which is kind of why I've hesitated so long to make this because he means so much to me (also what's left for me to say about him, he's been around longer than I have, surely he's been analyzed and over analyzed more than I can imagine)

But I relate to him unfortunately so you're going to have to hear about him sorry <3

Her ass is rambling, this is a long post

Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce starts out the series loud and eccentric but relatively level headed most of the time compared to some of the other members of the 4077. Playboy, drinker, anarchist, and pacifist (by technicality only), his really formative episodes for his character going forward to me at least were Dr. Pierce and Mr Hyde and Sometimes You Hear The Bullet. Both his wish to do something, anything to stop the war and his declining mental health because of it are on full display in these episodes. The war took so much from him and keeps taking, especially when Henry dies and Trapper gets shipped home while he's away. He's a desperate animal clawing at the dirt just trying not to fall off the cliff. And he keeps slipping.

One of his biggest weaknesses as a bleeding heart is burning himself out or having zero self preservation. It's admirable how much he does for his patients and camp mates but most of the time it just looks like he has a death wish. But the admiration is exactly what he doesn't want. He's an attention whore sure, but every time he's ever been put on a pedestal he's tried to shake it off; dismissing the news reporters and even yelling at Radar for simply looking up to him. He covers up his self loathing with humor, childish antics, and self inflating bickering with the other surgeons to give him a fake sense of self worth despite thinking of himself so poorly. Just the way he treats himself with ridiculous drinking habits and poor self care in general is rather telling and only gets worse as the series goes on.

That being said, he is also strongly fixated on having a sense of normalcy, demanding more choices of food and taking showers whenever possible just like all the others scrambling to keep some sort of routine. He also frequently sets up dates with the nurses when he can not looking for anything serious. He falls in love/forms attachments really easily so that often gets him in trouble, especially when his coping mechanisms keep him from being real most of the time. And once he loves you, he holds on, still mourning the loss of Trapper throughout the later seasons as if he was dead. Moving on is not an option for him, often retreating back into memories voluntarily or not to cope with being drafted (Hawk's Nightmare, Bless You, Hawkeye, basically any episode where he talks extensively about Maine or his father)

And no matter what happens, no matter how much he hates it, Hawkeye knows he has to keep going or people will get hurt or worse. He knows he has to get up and keep doing his job because he has to. He doesn't like it. He'd rather literally be considered dead than get continuously screwed over by the army (The Late Captain Pierce) but he gets up anyway. Because people depend on him. There have been a few episodes where I believed his mental health may have been improving, after/around season 9, and then Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen happened and I was immediately destroyed.

His arc in GFA, like a lot of the other characters in that finale special, was perfect for his character. He was always claiming things like “sanity is a state of mind” (and talking about chickens a lot for some reason) so to have him finally, horrifically snap and lose it so badly Sidney found it necessary to keep him in a mental hospital felt like the trainwreck I had been anticipating for the entire series. He needed to stop repressing things and actually process the horrors he's seen, all of it stacking up is the reason he broke to begin with. Everyone else has more or less accepted their shitty situation of stitching together victims of the cruelty of warfare but he'd been fighting it for 11 seasons now (something around 4-5 years show time) and eventually the longer the unstoppable force pushes against the immovable object, one of them will break. Then to see him finally confront the fact that him and BJ will probably never see each other again and practically beg for the closure that Trapper never was able to give him and FINALLY get it was so satisfying and a perfect shot to send off the character with. BJ was the only one keeping him focused and on the right track when he'd start going too far, gave him some much needed reality checks, and was the only one to stick with him through everything. He knew every ugly secret and Hawkeye knew his. They both did terrible things in situations they never asked to be in. They were bonded in trauma and whether you read their relationship as romantic or not, they're probably the closest relationship in the series and I couldn't be happier with how they ended off.

Hawkeye is a deeply flawed character (dare I say… problematic) and while his change isn't immediately noticeable in the series, it is striking if you watch an episode from an early episode to a late one, especially regarding his relationship with Margaret. Across many episodes, they mutually earn each other's respect and actually become very good friends, probably second only to BJ and Hawkeye. They've also been through a lot of shit together and are very similar, reacting to the same insecurities and desires in completely different ways. (Affection craving, their disdain for senseless violence, deep seething rage for injustice, refusing to show weakness due to their high positions)

There's some indefensible things this character does I will admit and things that made me say “why would he say that” but in general, I believe he is a very well written example of PTSD and a strong-willed anti-war activist. The term activist is thrown around a lot online but he's pretty much the only one there trying to fix things, even if his efforts are unethical or straight up ineffective. I actually really love that he does some things that I hate. Seeing such a gritty and reactionary protagonist was so striking to me, his unpredictability made watching him react to things fascinating. He's a cornered animal desperately trying to escape being closed in on closer and closer until he lashes out. My job is nowhere near comparable to the mental turmoil of his but I found myself comparing his thought processes a lot to my own. He's self destructive, impulsive, and immature but his energy brings so much to the show and the characters around him. He has such a fondness for everyone in the 4077 that becomes more explicit in the big moments. He'd raise hell for anyone in that compound whether they asked for it or not. Or if they even needed it. He'd just raise hell. It's enrichment for him

#mash #mash 4077 #hawkeye pierce #character analysis #i didnt proof read this #i hope it's good #i was just rambling #because im in love with him #wait who said that #anyway happy autism awareness month everybody #go watch mash pretty please it's good

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thehadesincident · 1 year

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hades fun ramble abt how the yttd fandom treats shin tsukimi :)

haiiii so if you know me you know that i have one billion illness about some guy named shin tsukimi from yttd! and i have some issues on how the fandom writes him, this is coming from someone who has health issues so im going to be somewhat projecting but! hopefully not that much. all of it is going to be under cut!

this is going to cover a lot of spoilers.. so i wouldnt click it unless you finished the game. its also going to cover topics like ableism and a mention of toxic relationships but thats expected when you want to talk about shin and the fandom

so in game (epsically in your turn to shine) its heavily hinted that shin is someone who has health issues (chronic illness and the works), even in the base game it is shown that shin is physically weak (chapt one in the bar where he tries to open the drawer for example.).

and how the fandom made that into shin being a weak person, but not in a strength sense, in the sense that he cant protect/cant hold his own (looking at you shin ship writers.). but! thats just the only issue right? (this is also ableism to me in a way.. but i cant put my words right at the moment.)

nope!! theres more. the fandom at times made shin out to be a 'dirty' person, someone who is gross and unclean. even if that's far from canon (there being a line that shins hands are clean in game.) and to me, thats just stereotypes of people who are mentally ill coming into play. saying that people who suffer from mental illness cant treat themselves on their own. which in some cases may be true, but not in all of them.

i also think this ties into shin being a person who was in game he is saving money, he is a job hopper which some fans took as he is poor which mean hes dirty.. which is just gross that people think just because a person may be poor, automatically means they're dirty.

theres also the issue with shadow sou (also know as shadsou in the fandom) where (some) people treat it as not a part of shin, it just being a part of midori. shin didnt bring out the hiyori persona out of nowhere, it wouldnt make sense that shin is some 'soft boy'.

fans tend to forget that shin isnt the best person, even in a few pregame thoughts. he can still be an asshole without being told about the 0.0% thing. you can let him be petty, you can let him be sly, you can let him be mean. he doesnt need to be doomed to do any of that.

its the same with the shinai, we only really saw small bits of the shinai.. and guessing from his dialog, he is still close to hiyori and that can affect how he acts, but that doesnt mean a pre game shin acts just like shinai, his an ai for a reason, he learns over time and picks up his own traits. its similar to how the fandom treats highschool shin and his friendship with hiyori and thats a whole another can of worms.

people who say they dont ship hiyori and shin.. and then say they dated in the past are an issue to me. not every toxic friendship has to be romantic, yes hiyori wanted to study shin, but thats because he wanted to see how much he can push a person. even the shinai says he likes to experiment on people, and hiyori most likely did the same with shin but more in a mental sense.

theres a reason why i dont interact with people who tag stuff with their ship tag, i dont trust them to take them in a way thats just them being 'friends'. and if you see it like that or make it out so hiyori isnt that bad of a person... block me i dont want you guys near me. (this goes with those 'midori isnt a bad person!!' au writers to. get out.)

on the topic of shipping, a handful of people who ship shin with people srsly make him out to be someone whos weak and needs to be protected by whoever the pairing is with. you guys just want your yaoi. i see this the most in keishin / alishin circles. shin doesnt need to be 'saved' or whatever, he just needs to heal on his own time, he doesnt need a romantic partner in his life for that.

thats a good part of my thoughts! if you have any questions on my thoughts on shin you can send me an ask here or shoot me a dm on discord :3 (samuraiyaiba)

#letters from the underworld #shin tsukimi #yttd #your turn to die #cw ableism #ableism mention #ask to tag #long posts #ranting it up

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gralunaisland · 1 year

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Something that really annoys me about ju//via is how she negatively impacts the other characters, like you've mentioned it before but Er//za is one of my favorite characters and seeing her just... not only support gr//via but also actively push ju//via to harass Gr//ay was :/ In general I feel like more characters should have Gr//ay's back on this issue, aren't they supposed to be a family? Why don't any of them care that he's getting harassed?! Anyway sorry I just wanted to ramble haha

Erza Sucks... Only When It Comes to Gr///via, Though

I completely feel for you, Anon.

Erza is unequivocally one of the best characters in the show, and yet as you said, she actively supports and encourages juvia's antics. I'm being completely honest when I say I absolutely hate her guts when she does so. Not only is it just such a nasty, horrid thing for her to do, it is also completely out of character for her to support juvia, a woman who has made it clear she doesn't care for family and friends in the same way the rest of Fairy Tail does, over Gray, the young man Erza has grown up with, caring for and watching over him. It just doesn't make sense in any regard.

Why would such a friends-oriented person like Erza, the big-sis to all, want to promote toxic, abusive behavior towards Gray, towards anyone??

The only reason is because Mashima just wants to show how much he supports gr///via, that's all. He's willing to not only massacre juvia's agency and Gray's mental health and character but also Erza's righteousness and character just for the sake of solidifying the awful gr///via ship into canon even more. It is just another example of Mashima sucking as a writer. He built such a wonderful world with many wonderful characters and story arcs, but thanks to this ship, he's reduced my respect for him a hundredfold. There was no need to ruin his story by propping this pair up.

I completely agree with you, Anon, that Gray's friends should be backing up Gray, not juvia, and yet time and time again, not only Erza, but so many more FT members have admonished Gray for "leading her on" and "making her sad". It's utterly disgusting and disturbing.

What they're doing is not even victim-blaming/bashing at this point; they're not even willing to acknowledge that what juvia is doing is bad in the first place, so they don't view Gray as a victim whatsoever.

Somehow juvia is the victim!!

In what world does that make sense?? It makes sense in juvia's world, really, where she acts however she wants and still gets the guy and all the support in the end.

Poor poor juvia, a harasser and a manipulator and a selfish prick, poor her that she unnerves and bothers and creeps out her prey. Boils my blood. Gray got supremely gaslit by everyone around him, so it's no wonder that in the end, Gray's been manipulated into accepting juvia's "affections".

Also, please don't apologize for rambling, Anon! I love your input and thoughts; I am 100% in agreement with you here! Please use my ask box to ramble away as much as you like; I for one ramble constantly in my posts haha. Thank you for the insightful ask!

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shallowseeker · 2 years

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Hi. I'm Shal.

📝 Just another SPN blog, since circa Aug '22 📝

Physically late 30s, mentally 50s. recent discoverer of fandom. Minors DNI.

Here's a masterlink to some of my recent meta and ramblings.

📺"shallow" bc I aim my brain at a CW tv show

🌳hick in a trailer, way out in the KY boonies

👻 technically lives in a ghost town

🤓 somewhat contrary (in good fun) but friendly

🔢I'm a quantity over quality kinda place

✖️I don’t tag very well

💥I reblog chaotically rather than being normal and using my queue

🤔I've changed my mind a lot already, so uh, be careful about going back > 2 months

☠️ My SPN affliction is getting worse, and I'm currently ripping everything JUST to put images and screenshots with my script and scene ramblings

Stuff I like?

👬 pro-DeanCas (I have eyes)

🤩 Mary stan

⭐ Jack stan

🕮 Sam - Donatello - Metatron-coded (that's why I'm annoying)

🤓I genuinely like Sam (but I'm not weird about it), and I WILL give him shit about his myriad personality quirks

💪TFW 2.0 is my jam

🪖I grew up military

🕯️I like medical, mental health, philosophy, and Judaism

✌️I'm anti-war; anti-police state

I block tags I'm hesitant around or picky about, and I block stuff that simply bores me; therefore, I get along with most folks. I stick to what brings me joy.

I'm anti-incest, so I only block pro-shippers who don't tag that kinda stuff. I'm supportive of ship-and-let-ship, when you get down it.

I block for my own mental, because to me, incest champions and jokes are weaponized against the working poor and I consider it damaging classism that seeks to use alienation to sunder inter-family structural support, as a form of systemic violence. Yes, especially your precious faux-academia/elitist gothic shit. I've dealt with the jokes MY WHOLE LIFE and it's directly interfered with my medical care. I despise.

////////////////

📝 Ao3: shallowseeker - I'm writing again! Embracing cringe.

Update - I'm trying to collect a cozy spot to encourage and cheerlead SPN writers.

-> I don't have much to offer in terms of beta-ing cause I'm no good at grammar, but I'm always happy to vibe check.

///////////////

📝 writings @shallowstories / 📷images @shallowimages / ⚠️venting and not-as-nice things @shallowrambles /

//////////////

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

#toc #navigation

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maxwellohwell · 1 year

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Just a lil ramble vent

No one warns you about how brutal the transition from sheltered teenager to functioning adult is. All I've ever wanted was freedom, I love it. I was born an observer, its just in my nature. I love existing with the environment around me. I love walking in the rain, watching houses and cars and trees and boats and signs out from the window of a bus or a train, my favourite colours are pink or sunshine yellow but I always cave for a spooky grey/blue/purple colour scheme, my favourite food has always been spaghetti bolognese or pancakes, and the only times I remember that I am not a disembodied voice is when I look at myself in the mirror and dont identify with the body that I am in because I see myself as more of a concept then a human being. I've always been the secondary character in the stories of the people around me who always had something going on. In those stories I was the love interest who was too busy staring out the window to notice anything around them, I was the creepy mean "goth" that was added into the series to say weird stuff for laughs and to spite the protagonists, I was the best friend with bad advice, I was the child who was never allowed to grow up bc that meant her mother was growing old. Freedom feels like the morning sun beaming onto your face through fluffy white clouds or a day full of peaceful rain, and for me the only time I feel the warm rays of hope and tranquility is when chasing it hasn't been beaten out of me with the worried words of my overly paranoid mother or the judgemental looks of the people who can read the script.

So over the past weeks I've been moving out. I turned 18 half a year ago and my life has been slowly sinking like a ship for a while now. My mother is getting evicted and so I finally get to jump ship. Not exactly the "running away to the sunny city without telling anybody, going to the gym dressed as barbie while drinking a strawberry mango smoothie and getting money for writing emails in an office cubical" escape plan, but falling in love (i think, I dont entirely know if I even know what romantic attraction feels like) despite the fact that I live for being entirely alone and moving in with him works ig. But I've found myself in this weird tug-a-war while Im stuck between the two places, where I feel the beginnings of the freedom I've been wanting while Im away but then I need to go back to roleplaying an 8 yr old to survive. My mental health decreases while Im in that environment where I cant make my own choices, but I re-enter the adult world every few days and I feel paralyzed by the fear that Im going to break an unspoken rule and get yelled at for existing without supervision. Becoming an adult is very much just learning that its okay to exist and then teaching urself all the stuff you know that you dont know that you should know but you weren't taught bc growing up is illegal.

My entire life so far has been me waiting for this moment and I feel like Im wasting it by having these cognitive behavioural issues even though developing those wasn't at all my fault. One of my most vivid memories from highschool was walking with the vice principal while I was on my way to class. We happened to be going in the same direction and she started talking about how much she missed being young and free and how I should "treasure my teenage years while I still have them", and I remember that so clearly because of how little sense it made to me. My teenage years had no walks in the rain because "what if your kidnapped", my teenage years had no car rides because we were poor, my teenage years had no train rides because I had no where to go, my teenage years had no pink because I had to be the scary mean "goth" girl because no one messes with you if ur scary enough, my teenage years had no pancakes or spaghetti because I wasnt allowed to use the stovetop. How am I supposed to appreciate that? As an adult, you are in control. You shouldn't take your eyes off the road while you're driving. In my adult life I am happy. Everyday I wake up at 6am-8am, make my bed and watch youtube while I eat my pancakes, brush my teeth, go walk on the beach if I feel up to it, then I either go to the job that I love bc I chose it or play video games, do some chores, then I watch youtube with my boyfriend until I fall asleep. I do not want to leave that.

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sketch-shepherd · 1 year

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rambling some RWBY stuff

I said I needed a hiatus for a while because March has been a terrible month for me but I gotta get this off my chest. I’m gonna be talking stuff about RWBY ship discourse and a new direction I’m taking in regards to enjoying the show.

I know I said I moved on from openly talking about RWBY ship discourse since like 2020 so I’m only gonna make an exception this once because the events of V9E6 are too big for me to ignore (spoiler warning I guess cuz the episode is still super new at the time I’m writing this)

So if you’re not interested in hearing me reflect on my fandom experience and where I’m currently docked in terms of my RWBY ships then don’t read the rest of the cut.

Those who know me know that I really, really don’t like B/umbleby. Both in terms of actual writing because I find it forced with poor buildup and the toxic fanbase ruined any appeal the ship had for me literally since my early days of being in the fandom. So it should come to no surprise I’m not happy with it officially becoming canon in this episode

Though... frankly I normally wouldn’t have put much thought into how well B/umbleby is written or not because I generally just have low standards for ships in general (ffs I’ve gushed over ships from other shows that had like overall two minutes of buildup), but it’s mainly the toxic fans who really destroyed the appeal the ship had for me which is why I started to care about it way more than I should have. But I’m getting off topic, the point of this wasn’t to write an essay about my thoughts on B/umbleby.

Likewise, those who know me also know I’ve always had a strong preference for its rival ship B/lacksun. Things are little complicated with that right now, but after some careful consideration I think I’m ready to dip out of the B/lacksun community too.

Now, I’m not saying I no longer support B/lacksun, far from it. I still like B/S as a ship itself since I consider it way better written than B/B and it has more actual communication and chemistry. But frankly from my experience I just haven’t had any fun in the B/S community for a really long time. While not as bad as the toxic B/umbleby fanbase, I’ve dealt with too many B/S shippers being so outright toxic and overwhelmingly negative... I’m at the point where I’d rather just not contribute altogether.

So yeah, being in the crossfire of both of these ships, dealing with stupid toxic fans/antis alike and giving myself more paranoia and anxiety than I asked for for five whole years straight really hasn’t done favors for my mental health. So at this point I just think my enjoyment of RWBY will be easier if between the two I just don’t add anything to either community.

So what does this mean for me? Like I said, I definitely don’t hate B/lacksun as a ship itself. I might just ship it silently and maybe still include it in my AU’s or something. I’m just not gonna openly contribute to the B/lacksun community anymore

Sorry for anyone who’s liked my B/lacksun content back when I was really passionate about it in my earlier days of the fandom (if any of said people are somehow even reading this since I’ve disbanded from the fandom so much over the years).. but for anyone who cares I guess, you’re just gonna have to get used to me just straight up not engaging in B/lacksun publicly anymore. No longer drawing fanart (probably not even for a commission), liking/reblogging any posts related to the ship, writing about it, just overall making actual content.

I still like the ship for what it is, but I’m not gonna openly invest in it anymore. Definitely not compared my other RWBY ships I casually talk about like R/osegarden, L/adybug, F/reezerburn, M/onochrome, etc... That’s basically what’s become of B/lacksun for me. B/umbleby on the other hand... yeah I still dislike it like I always have.

Sigh... but I digress. This weekend has basically given me a reason to reset. Half a fucking decade is not a good period of time to worry so damn much about ship discourse to the point it came at the expense of the real reason I enjoy RWBY... which is the plot and characters.

That’s all. THAT was the real reason I became drawn to RWBY when I first started watching it back in 2018. Not the stupid fucking shipping. Shipping was never going through my mind when I first bingewatched Volumes 1-5. Hell, my interest in shipping didn’t come until way later as like a second thought until I started looking at fan content more.

And now that I’ve seen what worrying over shipping so much did for me for five years straight... I’m turning a new leaf. A “stop giving a fuck” leaf. My experience of loving RWBY in the past five years would have been so much different if I didn’t prioritize ship wars over everything.

But, like I said. I’m undoing all that now. Going back to the mindset I had when I was new to the show before I learned of ship discourse and fandom drama. And I’m gonna see if it works for the rest of V9, as well as the rest of the show.

This is also NOT an invitation to talk about ship discourse or r/wde shit in my dm’s (something I unfortunately HAVE to say based on past experiences of people taking my words as r/wde or criticism shit). I wrote this ramble as a means of explaining that I still truly love RWBY despite some of the narrative choices I don’t like and cutting the fandom drama out.

To conclude in words of moistcr1tikal, that’s about it. See ya.

#sketch text #rwby #ship discourse #<-- i hope this is the last fucking time I use this tag for this fandom

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singull · 1 year

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I posted 1,803 times in 2022

That's 1,404 more posts than 2021!

62 posts created (3%)

1,741 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@enberlight

@the-geek-cornucopia

@commander-krios

@5ummit

@ediediaz

I tagged 1,433 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#dracula daily - 285 posts

#video - 233 posts

#lmao - 222 posts

#marvel - 149 posts

#mcu - 147 posts

#star wars - 108 posts

#moon knight - 106 posts

#moon knight spoilers - 89 posts

#house of the dragon - 72 posts

#personal bloggity - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#but seriously tho parsing through what media i can still stand and what i can’t deal with due to the grief has been…it’s been something

My Top Posts in 2022:

BAHAHAHA, all my top 5 posts are like…text posts, most of them about me grieving. Snipped them so they’re not so looooong.

so my dumbass fumbled my glass dip pen and broke the tip off. D; ordered 2 new pens, but they haven’t been shipped yet. i wanna write in my journal with colorful ink again. Dx

anyway…at work the coffee company we were working with before opted to leave and we replaced them with a new company and ever since the new peeps started, the more i have realized just how much the burnout and anxiety i’ve been feeling about work has been related to the former crew we were working with bahahaha. i won’t go into details, but the company we were working with before wasn’t managing their coffee shop with us very well (despite the fact that apparently this was their busiest location like…????), the recent baristas just…weren’t great, and my boss and i were constantly having to answer for their bullshit (non-consistent hours, poor service, bad attitudes from baristas, etc).

i legit did not realize how much their fuckery was messing with me until they were gone for good. like a gotdamn weight lifted off my shoulders. i no longer feel so much anxiety about coming into work.

2 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

i think what really gets me about the friendship breakup and how it went down and why it is going to be so difficult for me to get over it is because she basically stole my ability to say goodbye.

Read more at link.

5 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#singull’s year in review 2022 #personal bloggity

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healingskywalker · 4 months

Text

SW: TCW Episode Reviews

Season 1, Episode 1: Ambush

I'm nervous to start this, actually. All of these are gonna be mostly rambling and bullshit, haha

And we are officially starting!

Yoda is smart as shit for having them release all of the pods at once, so they don't know which one he's in, because my ass wouldn't have thought of that

Dooku is a presumptive fuck - 'But when you decide to join us...' Who says dude is gonna join anything?

'Oh, well, it's my programming.' that fucking clanker is how I feel when my mental health acts up

I know very little about her, but Ventress seems like a fucking snake and I don't trust her. It's not that she's a sith, I think it's the vibe I get from her as a person

Yoda IMMEDIATELY taking Ventress up on her offer. What a chad. He has something to prove and he's gonna do it. He said fuck that bitch with his whole pussy.

'There's gotta be a full batalion in there, probably packing armor, too.' Why did this sweetheart sound Australian/country? Either way, I love him.

'We'll have something for 'em.' HOT MAN BEHAVIOR

'Uhhhh, what does he look like?' These droids are the singular braincell that rattles in my brain

'Size is not everything.' Yoda, sir, you need to calm down. I get it's about the ships, but bruh.

I geniunely thought a droid called another droid a 'fuckhead'

the clones are so athletic? like, wtf?

what the fuck kinda bullshit are these rolling droids with fucking shields? that is so ridiculously OP

also, poor clone baby got hurt :(

'But I just got promoted!' OKAY, I know the droids are the bad guys, but like...they are so fucking funny

Yoda has better knees and mobility at age 900 vs me at 21 and that is some bullshit

why does Dooku look like he belongs in a nativity set?

'Strong you are with the dark side, young one. But not that strong.' Jesus Christ Yoda is the fucking GOAT. He tossed her to the side like a bag of rice and then called her a coward. Bruh. I would not be able to show my face to someone if that happened to me. I would be embarrassed!

#skywalkerwatches #sw:tcw

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just-some-guy-joust · 1 year

Note

Hello! I am totally fine with sharing my ramblings (tbh I'd also like to re-read what I wrote 😅) I submitted Ethan Winters from Resident Evil and Issac Clark from Dead Space.

👍 No problem!

Ethan:

obligatory horror game protagonist. So not only is he a horror protag, he's just Some Guy(TM). Since 8 came out 2 years ago I don't want to spoil anything, but you think he came out okay at the end of 7. He did not, and there is 100% no way he would been okay. He was doomed the second he arrived at the Baker's house in 7. With the understanding 8 gave the player, it gave a new meaning and explanations to his struggle in 7, and that makes his story all the more tragic. Because there was no way the narrative would have allowed otherwise.

Issac:

(Fair warning doing this on mobile so there may be spelling errors)

Okay so not only is he a horror protagonist, he's a *survival* horror protagonist. That's basically doomed by the narrative 101. I don't think I'm giving spoilers because the games have been out for ages (tho the remake is new). The games, like most trilogies, "yes and" the previous.

My poor boy physically survived a zombie-like outbreak that has a hive mind and killed his girlfriend (gf), but mentally it affected him really badly. The narrative was only going to go downhill the second he received his gf's video about coming to find her.

Not only was she dead the whole time (suicide on video but the player doesnt see it if I'm remembering correctly), but the hive mind burrows it's way into Issac's minds and uses the image of her to direct Issac into doing what it wants. Mind you my boy has a decent fortitude so it's also a slow decent into madness type deal as well as doomed by the narrative.

At the end of 1 he is the only survivor. At the beginning ot 2 his mental health is Not Good™️. The hive mind affected him so bad he's still seeing images and hearing audio from it. And the narrative just gets worse.

There is no way for him to get better, even with the small glimmers of hope seeded throughout the game. And when it gets to 3 he's desperate. The hive mind went from killing a large space ship in 1, to a colony in 2, to the entire Earth and ALL the colonies in 3. With a villain you really can't do much against.

So yeah, Issac Clarke imo is grade A doomed by the narrative material because he was doomed before the games even *began*.

#tho reminder that if you want to ask for these PLEASE god include things that could help me identify you #just the character name isn't enough. unless its like both of these where you're the Only One who sent them in #if even one other person has submitted the character i Do Not Know which one is yours ok?#asks #doomed by the narrative showdown

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isolated-bug · 2 years

Text

Long Rambles!

HOLY COW!! You all are super supportive! 0.0 I posted some insecurity about long rambles and thoughts on the show and within 20 minutes 8 people were already super supportive >.< Be advised, pretty much all of these are about Silco and/or Jinx because i LOVE their dynamic in the show and am obsessed. I do not ship Silco/Jinx, but see them as have a real, true, loving father-daughter relationship. Dont worry XD I am a reasonable huma being and understand that a crime lord dad is not a great thing to have... but when i call Silco a good dad, im not talking about his or his daughters murder. Im talking about their emotional relationship and how they interact. they have a good strong trusting relationship and that is awesome. mental health matters so much. to me, much more than doing illegal shit lol. I am more than happy to have back and forths with people who want to add or offer a differing opinion. I love all the insight and have no aggression in my responses at all so please dont read anything with a tone. Im just a fan who loves exploring interpretations <3

*deep breath*

im going to try and post them in order of when i typed them since some of them lead into informing each other >.< so .. i think that might make more sense? idk >.< so with that... here is the first of my many brain vomit realizations i have written... this one was short... i apologize but they get much longer haha.

i keep seeing memes like "Arcane if Jinx wouldnt have lost her shit" etc

They all basically blame Jinx being a nutcase for the issues and hardships of the series. fair. She is definitely a part of the problem. but also none of the things in Arcane would have happened if the Piltover govt would have been better or if Jayce werent doing illegal black market shit or if Victor wouldnt have encouraged him to break into Heimerdingers lab to work on his seized illegal stuff or if Ekko hadnt have told the kids where to find Jayce for a hit or if Vander wouldnt have tried to kill his own brother Or if Vi wouldnt have disobeyed the “no topsider hits” rule from Vander or if Markus wouldnt have given into bribery so many characters are equally responsible. I get that in the very simplified version of things Jinx is meant to be a “villain” of the series.. but like... give the poor traumatized crazy girl a break okay MILO?? lol

#arcane #jinx #why is she being blamed for literally everything #wtf??#poor bean needs a hug and a new daddy to protect her

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)

before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"

I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.

Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.

IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF

TAVVY

DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV

I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT

“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”

“But it’s 15 in Idris!”

“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.

DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD

Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.

The warlock – not the shadowhunter.

He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.

Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.

The shadowhunter – not the warlock.

I AM SCREAMING

I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about

“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”

Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?

ARCHITECT TAVVY

SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS

SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES

“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”

“Cause they are chill?”

“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.

Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)

ANJALI IS A CENTURION

LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS

I still ship them.

“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”

Well, that was a quick change-

Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.

THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS

great now I miss Raphael

I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY

that is so thoughtful of him though...

tears.

“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.

“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.

“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”

Of course, it is. No one is surprised.

Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”

“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.

white people and their bland foods smh

“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”

As she should be

UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE

He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.

"Beautiful"

I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO

I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP

FUCKING RUMORS

I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE

“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”

There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.

No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.

But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.

YET

Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.

OH MY GOD THESE TWO

But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.

I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D

“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.

I-

same.

NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-

RAFAEL LMAO NO

"I hate her she's so annoying"

continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone

Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?

And he calls Max oblivious.

oh class started

shit

IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING

LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY

JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD

“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”

“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.

LMAO POOR DAVID

“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”

He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.

yup, that's them.

“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”

“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”

He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.

Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.

Idiots

ok, there is so much to unpack here.

DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??

These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI

“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”

“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.

“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.

of course, he is.

G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD

oh shit

WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME

what's the rumor and who do I need to kill

He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.

what is her problem?

what the fuck

I need a minute

I need a minute to digest that

I'm so glad I closed my camera in class

what the actual fuck did she just say

tell me I'm hallucinating

times like these I wish I was Jared 19

no, because I'm actually speechless right now

Paige and Irene need therapy

OH SHE WENT THERE

“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”

THANK YOU

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON

I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him

I can't believe this

“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”

“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”

OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU

hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight

I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME

“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”

I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.

This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.

yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.

MAX IS SMOKING TOO

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

oh wait

oh they might be alec's

yeah

For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.

Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.

He kept talking about portalling people to hell.

MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!

But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.

They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.

YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.

NO MAGNUS

THAT'S IT

MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL

WE'RE DOING IT

why do we hurt others?

my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units

me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.

“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”

EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.

“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”

AS HE SHOULD

Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.

He's right though.

it'll take time. lots of it maybe.

BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.

It fucked with his mind so much.

Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS

“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”

MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER

He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.

Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.

EXACTLY

Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.

It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.

GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO

(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)

His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.

that's adorable actually.

“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”

“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”

“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”

“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.

Therapy is boring but useful so-

He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.

He needed to go back home.

UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES

I'm so proud of him for this...

I still say we kill these people.

JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE

UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF

Camilla Alvarez.

well well.

OH THEY KISSED

“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”

hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT

Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.

Rafe: OMFG WHAT

Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.

AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU

THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING

“He is hot.”

He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”

“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.

Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”

I'm liking this ship...

I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP

but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs

Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.

Rafe: ????

Dad: I hv friends thr.

Rafe: ???

Dad: Thy r watchn u.

Rafe: Creepy but okay.

HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV

THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL

Do it

MILA IS GOING TO NY!!

I like her. she's nice.

He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”

“Why?”

“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”

honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs

Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.

no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.

“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.

LMAO

Max and I are vertically challenged.

“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”

So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.

well-

“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.

“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.

“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”

“Dick."

I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO

When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.

There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.

There was only growth.

His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.

This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.

YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.

“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”

Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”

“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”

I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.

“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”

YES EXACTLY

“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.

“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.

“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”

affectionate sigh that's alec.

“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”

Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”

“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.

Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.

Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.

Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.

I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class

I'm so proud of him.

“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”

“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.

“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”

THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.

THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG

“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.

Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine

“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”

YES CRISTINA

“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”

What if I just strangles him

“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”

“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.

“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.

“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.

“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.

The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)

THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL

“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.

YES ANJALI

Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”

“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.

CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES

“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”

“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”

YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE

“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”

SHOW THEM, QUEEN

How did she know his birthday????

ahem

“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”

There was absolute silence then.

“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”

The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.

“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”

She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.

Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.

also, alec looking scared-

“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.

“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”

“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.

YES YES AND YES

“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.

“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”

“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”

“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”

Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️

"She hates me!"

“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”

Stupid but brave.

YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!

ANJALI WHO HURT YOU

WHO DARED TO

Names. Give me names NOW

Jaime no...please no not Jaime.

please please, please

ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...

“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”

This is such an Anjali thing to say.

OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??

me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...

BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...

UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE

see ya on Friday!!

OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.

But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!

Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!

#lbaf

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sissytobitch10seconds · 3 years

Text

Symbols of Heart

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia Summary: Four Soulmarks all the way up his forearm. A yellow monkey A white glove A pink horn A silver engine Four Soulmates, all of which he is far too terrified to meet. Warnings: Eating disorders, depression, anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, mentions of childhood neglect, bad mental health, poor relationships, and mental health recovery, transphobia, transphobic characters, transphobic slurs, and physical fights Word Count: approx. 40,000 Chapters: 16 Ship(s): Shinsou Hitoshi/Iida Tenya/Ashido Mina/Hagakure Tooru/Ojiro Mashiro

Archive link!

Chapter 1: Anxieties

“Kara, come here,” the elderly, soothing voice called out from the wheelchair that was parked in the corner of the room. The purple-haired girl looked up from the book that she had been reading by the delicate fire blazing in the fireplace. She placed it down carefully before she rushed over to where her grandmother was sitting. “Sit on my lap, child,” she cooed, patting her legs with a gentle smile.

She did as she was told, sitting down carefully. “What is it, Grandmother?” she asked curiously. The elderly woman had always made her read before bed and never before had she interrupted that time, so her doing so now only spiked the child’s curiosity.

“I would like to tell you a story. Something that you will need for your entire life,” she answered, her eyes becoming distant and wistful. “Do you know where Soulmarks come from?”

“Everyone is born with a Soulmark,” she answered, fidgeting a bit sheepishly. “And they get bolder until you meet your Soulmate.”

“Correct,” the older woman said, her voice sounding wondrously prideful. She raised her sleeve a bit, exposing her arm. The wrinkled skin held a small white heart with a black lock in the middle of it.“This is my Soulmark, and your grandfather’s. Do you know where they came from originally? The tale of how humans were blessed with Soulmates?”

“No,” Kara shook his head, causing long purple hair to fall over her shoulder and in front of her violet eyes.

“It started in Greece. Humans were originally made of beings with multiple heads and limbs. Though they all only had one heart, shared with multiple souls. One day, the human all tried to climb up the mountain to get to the places where the Gods lived despite being warned not to,” the elderly woman began to ramble. On her lap, her granddaughter listened intently. “The Gods grew angry, and as a punishment, they split them up into what we think of as humans now. Two arms, two legs, one head, and one soul, but the hearts were all broken into pieces. Soon, the other Gods from elsewhere heard what had happened and did the same thing to the humans that they were ruling over, as a way to make sure that the Greeks were getting properly punished. Once all of the humans were split up, they were forced elsewhere across the world. They were all hurting and aching as they tried to find the people that they had once been connected with. After quite some time, Aphrodite, one of the Greek Gods got together with the other Gods of love, and they all formed Soulmarks. Now, our Soulmarks lead us to those that we love.”

“Are mother and father Soulmates?” Kara asked, remembering every time that she had heard the two of them shouting at each other like they were nemeses.

“Yes, they are. Even if they do not get along as well as your grandfather and I do. Not everyone loves their Soulmate in the same way. Some people just find their best friends in their Soulmate, some people find their life partners,” the woman explained, putting her hand on the young girl’s back as she sensed her getting upset.

“Does everyone have only one Soulmate?” she asked, her arm immediately flying to her lower arm where her four Soulmarks rested.

“No, little one,” her grandmother soothed, placing a careful hand on her arm. “You are very special. You have four Soulmates who will love and care for you. Though you must love and care for them just as much as they do for you.”

“What if they don’t love me?” she asked, getting a bit unsure. If all five of them were Soulmates, there had to be a chance that they wouldn’t love her.

“Kara,” her grandmother sighed, the name making the little girl flinch a bit. The elderly woman took notice of the flinch but chose not to say anything about it. “It is impossible for someone to not love you. Even if they do not want you as a romantic partner, or if you do not want them as a romantic partner, they will love you in a way.”

“Promise?” she asked, holding up her hand with only her pinky finger up.

“I promise,” her grandmother answered, wrapping her shaky pinky finger around the young girl’s.

Hitoshi blinked as he woke up, tears pushing out of his eyes and running down his face. It had been so long since he had thought about the memory of his grandmother.

So much had changed since then, and it was truly the last calm moment that he had had with her. She had passed away almost two weeks later, leaving his grandfather grieving so much that he had passed away a month later. It had been completely world-shattering for him to lose both of his grandparents in such quick succession of each other. They had been his primary caretakers seeing as his parents were rarely ever home.

He had been six when he had to learn to take care of himself. He had learned how to make breakfast from his grandmother before she passed away and lunch was served at school, so he hadn’t had to worry about either of those. Dinner had been harder, which left him so hungry that his stomach hurt most days. He lost scary amounts of weight until he had been so thin that his teacher called the police on his parents. His home life was thoroughly investigated. He was removed from his home when it had been deemed unsafe, and given to a foster parent that didn’t want another troubled kid.

He had only lasted there for about three months before he was passed onto the next home. He spent the next three years being moved from home to home to home, never finding anyone that wanted to keep a malnourished, ‘freak’ of a kid. Having that happen only made his already existing anxiety ten times worse. He had been nine when he realized that the reason that he kept getting passed around was the fact that he had four Soulmarks on his arm. Another reason was that he had started asking to be called Hitoshi instead of Kara as he discovered that he related less and less with the female identity.

When he was ten, he fell into the only foster home that kept him for more than six months. They also fully accepted him when it came to his name and pronouns. They had even gone so far as to ask the school he was attending to call him by his preferred name and pronouns as well. They didn’t have any other foster kids, so they paid a lot of their attention to him.

When he was twelve, he was diagnosed with PTSD from the trauma he had experienced when he was six and began to go to therapy. That same year, the couple that was fostering him adopted him. Just as his thoughts traveled to the couple that he now called his dads, one of them knocked on his door.

“Hitoshi, get up,” Shouta called out, his voice just as tired and put out as he felt. The purple-haired boy groaned just loud enough that his adoptive father could hear him as he pushed himself off of his bed. He paused, waiting for the tell-tale sounds of footsteps walking away from his bedroom door. Once he heard them he shed his night clothes and grabbed his new school uniform. He was still disgruntled from the more than vivid dream that he had had, meaning that it was harder to get his binder to fit than it was on most days.

He stumbled out of his room almost ten minutes later, finally dressed into the uniform for the high school that he was going to be attending. It was early in the morning, earlier than most students would be up on their first day of school. He had to go to the school with his adoptive dads, who both taught there. “Remember to take your meds,” Hizashi called from where he was sitting at the table.

“Yeah,” Hitoshi mumbled as he walked across the tiny hall to the bathroom. He opened the cupboard, pulling out the small prescription bottle. The pills were tiny, making it easy for him to swallow even on days where he woke up feeling so anxious that his throat closed off. His stomach rolled a bit as he grabbed one of the pills out of the bottle. The thought of having to eat or drink anything was incredibly unappealing, but he knew that everything would be ten times more awful if he didn’t take the meds. He took a deep breath, soothing himself a bit before he tossed his head back and forced the entire mouthful of water down his throat with the pill.

He shuffled back to the kitchen, rubbing his throat as he tried to soothe himself. Both of his adoptive fathers sat at the table, Shouta having his morning cup of coffee that he always needed to fully wake up. “You ready for your first day of school?” Hizashi asked, looking away from where he been staring at his husband.

“Not really,” he sighed, sitting down at the only other seat at the table. He reached behind him, stretching a bit to grab the fidget cube that he had on the bookcase by the wall. His hands fell into his lap as he began to play with it.

“What are you worried about?” Shouta asked, peeking out at him from over his coffee cup. “With both of us working there it’s not like you’ll get bullied like you did in middle school. We’ll make damn sure of that.”

“Shouta, swearing, You should get out of that habit before we start teaching again,” Hizashi huffed, looking at his husband for a minute before he turned back to adoptive son. “Middle school is really the worst part of everyone’s life, everything gets a little bit better in high school.”

“Dad, I get that you’re trying to help, but the kids kind of a had a reason for bullying me. No one has four Soulmates, it’s weird.”

“Not really. Having a weird set of Soulmates is pretty much normal at this school. One of your other teachers has two Soulmates who aren’t Soulmates with each other, just with him. Having several Soulmates isn’t weird, you’re just special,” Shouta rambled, staring down into the dark brown liquid that filled his mug.

“Okay. Whatever. I still have to go to school regardless of whether or not I want to,” he sighed, rolling his eyes a bit. He tugged on his sleeves, trying to hide the marks that peaked out of the bottom of his uniform.

He had four Soulmarks, one of which was planted so low on his arm that it peeked out from underneath his sleeve. The one at the top was an intricate yellow monkey. The one underneath it was a white glove, and then a pink horn. The one on his wrist was a silver engine. He had spent a lot of sleepless night staring at them, wondering who might be looking at the same Soulmarks, wondering why they had been blessed with four Soulmates instead of the normal one. As he waited for his fathers to say that it was time to go, his mind strayed to what kind of people his Soulmates would be.

The yellow monkey, would they be joyous and playful? Would they have blond hair? Would they be the class clown, or would they be the prankster?

The white glove, would they be rich? Or would they be deaf? Would they love Winter when they got to wear gloves? Or would they work in a garden?

The pink horn, would they like animals? Did they even like the color pink? Were they bullheaded? Or maybe they were aggressive?

The silver engine, were they rich? Or were they a mechanic? Would they smell like gasoline and oil? Would they be brilliant? Or would they be a burly man who was only good for moving heavy things?

Those were only some of the questions that had raced through his mind during his sleepless, fidgeting nights spent worrying. But there was always one that terrified him more than anything.

Would they accept him for being trans?

Follow the link to read the rest of it on Archive!

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 4 years

Text

ok, if i don’t write this im gonna lose my mind -cue dmx ‘party up’-

here is a ridiculously detailed analysis of why i am bordering on near certainty of caryl endgame, and how everything that’s been set up from the start of s9 (yes, even c@rzekiel and d@nnie) has been leading up to this

spoilers and long-winded analysis under the cut

let’s take this step-by-step, okay? starting with:

The Titles:

i have said this about a million times now, but the very first indication of caryl came from the new opening credits, where mmb’s name was very strategically placed above the graphic of daryl’s crossbow, what’s meant to symbolize henry’s pike, and a bunch of cherokee roses. it was foreshadowing, not only of henry’s death, but also how her relationship with daryl was going to unfold, and, bear with me here, the downfall of c@rzekiel. speaking of which, let’s go there

C@rzekiel:

i have also rambled about this, too, but the way that kang designed this relationship between zeke and carol was so brilliant, because it was never supposed to be real, but you weren’t able to fully see how until the whole story was laid out before us. (which goes with my belief that kang tells stories over long, connected archs, and not just “you know what would be fun to toss in here rn for some drama?”

carol

1. denied zeke’s proposal

2. never once told him she loved him

3. explicitly told those saviors she could have done without her ring (a line that had absolutely no need to be in there)

4. continuously rejected the title of queen

5. regularly visited daryl in the woods

6. said herself that all it was, was a fairytale. something i’ll delve into more when i talk about carol’s ptsd

but let me touch on how daryl plays into this. we know she regularly went out into the woods to be with daryl, and she did it because he was her tether back to reality. she was living a fantasy life, and knew deep down that it wasn’t real, but had to do it, for henry’s sake, and for the sake of her mental health, because at the time of the relationship, she had not remotely begun to deal with any of her grief

the first scene we get with her and zeke is directly after daryl saves zeke’s life, which is telling. and the first time we hear her talk about her feelings about zeke’s proposal she turned down it’s with daryl, and let us not forget that the script notes stated that daryl was experiencing jealousy about it. he never asked her not to, though, because he thought she was happy, and that was more important to him than her being with him. he was willing to give her up if it meant she was happy, like what kind of angst trope suffering is that?? -chefs kiss-

and we can’t forget that zeke canonically views daryl as a threat to his marriage (i mean, rightfully so). he literally tells daryl to back off his wife so that he can fix their marriage, because he knows carol is starting to go back to him

next!

flowers:

flowers have been being used as symbolism between these two across the past two seasons a bunch. flowers are in mmb’s title card. the first scene of carol/daryl in the time jump shows them seeing flowers. daryl brings carol a flower on the dinner tray. one of the upcoming episodes is “look at the flowers”. obviously the cherokee rose scene is iconic between them, and flowers to carol represent this weird dichotomy. on the one hand, they represent daryl comforting her and giving her hope, and on the other hand, they represent her downfall mentally from the grove. interesting that one of the threads throughout this current season is carol grappling between trying to stay grounded with daryl, and her losing herself to her grief

speaking of grief!

Carol’s PTSD:

people have bitched that kang is just telling carol’s same storyline all over again, to which i’m like, tf show are you watching?? here’s what kang has done. gimple dealt with carol by literally just locking her away in a house to mull over how terrible she is a person, while never once actually dealing with her grief, and then handed that over to kang as a boiling slop of diarrhea, and somehow kang managed to take that, perform alchemy, and turn it into delicious loving carol juice.

she had henry killed off to parallel sophia, yes, that’s true, but the /reason/ she did that is because she’s righting the wrongs that were done to carol by essentially rewriting her storyline the way it should have gone. carol has lost So Much. more than most, i think, and kang is like, “that would fuck someone up pretty fucking bad, i think, so let’s see her actually have to grapple with that.” kang stays true to the carol gimple created, in that her instinct is to run away (think boat), but she’s using daryl as a means of forcing her to confront her demons. the two of them, at any given time, are running away from their struggles, but daryl is finally at a place of stability, and so he’s taking carol by the hand and saying, “no. i’m not letting you do this again. you have to stay,” and carol does, because she loves him, but consequently she’s having to actually feel it (something she explicitly stated she “can’t let herself do”), and is now experiencing the consequences of it, and poor daryl is stuck trying to handle it. his entire plotline this season has revolved around trying to help carol heal her wounds so that they can finally be together the way they should have been ten years ago.

they should be together, and daryl shouldn’t be with anyone else? glad you asked, because that brings us to:

D@nnie:

i actually think that kang never meant to make daryl/connie a ship, bc nothing in season 9 really indicated anything more than a mutual respect, and part of me truly believes that she saw the reaction to the two of them, and was like, “you know what? i can work with this.”

carol is pushing daryl towards connie because she wants to take alpha down and knows she might go down with her and she needs to know daryl won’t be alone. that’s it. period. end of sentence.

but okay, let’s extrapolate. she asks him if he’s interested in connie, and daryl very, very bluntly says no. you can’t tell me that his answer was meant to be evasive. he delivered that line like straight up “no.” no room for debate about his feelings. if they wanted to leave room for doubt they would have had norman redo his delivery, because it is too obvious. he is shutting it down completely. and carol is like, “why not?” and /that’s/ when daryl gets evasive. very “don’t worry about it, why are you worrying about it, i’m not in love with you, shut up.”

fucking kills me, guys.

now the current spoilers about carol telling daryl to get angry at her for (supposedly/probably) killing connie furthers this belief that she wants daryl to pull away from her. because he’s her tether, she loves him, and as long as he still wants her around she can’t leave. she wants him to hate her, and daryl refuses. he’s pissed as all get out about what she did, sure, but he doesn’t hate her. also, the idea that daryl going back to try and save connie and magna means he’s in love with connie is absolutely baffling. have you met daryl? his instinct is to save people at all costs. he wouldn’t leave his friends stuck in a fucking cave, are you serious? just because connie is a woman doesn’t mean daryl wants to fuck her. he’s allowed to care about his friends.

but anyway, the point here is that every “d@nnie” spoiler has been music to my ears, bc not once has it been actually shippy. that first episode with the asl book and them together? it was supposed to juxtapose zeke and carol, and how carol and daryl immediately forgot about connie and zeke in order to be with each other. every other thing with connie has either been very cute and platonic, or has been carol trying to push her on daryl. -chefs kiss- my dudes, you’re worrying about nothing

Misc bc I’m Late for Work:

here are just a handful of other indicators that caryl is on the horizon

-the dream where she dreams she’s MARRIED TO DARYL, and the scenes where she wakes up in bed and looks over and he’s not there. why set that up if the end result isn’t going to be them together in bed?

-the bracelet/the acorns and what they symbolize

-the use of “we” (”we don’t sleep” “it was like that for us before all of this” “since when have we never been enough?” etc)

-their parallels to alpha/beta (see my other long-winded text post on that one)

-ten years worth of history between them!!! that kang understands and references (carol’s claustrophobic, look at the flowers, etc)

so anyway, i don’t have time to tie this up with a nice bow bc i really have to get to work, but this is all to say that i am very very confident about the caryl endgame. i think it’s being drawn out bc kang needs to right the wrongs done by gimple first, but that caryl is where she’s eventually headed. every spoiler has been 100% caryl positive to me. i am zen af, and i think you should be too.

i’ll add to this if i think of anything i missed, but here you go. caryl is endgame and they gon fuck

the end,

-diz

#caryl #caryl spoilers #twd s10 spoilers #dunlap tp

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drangues · 3 years

Note

Well, I appreciate you not finding me annoying- I just know that dealing with someone with anxiety can be. A Lot. And of course I have, like, ADD on top of that, and a general tendency to overshare because it’s hard for me to tell what the divider is between too much and not enough? Also there an Actual SCP that lets you square up with mental and physical illnesses and disorders alike, it’s great. (Nyanon, 1/10)

Anyways, I’m sorry people have said that about some of your favorites, but I’m glad you like them, anyways! It’s nice to like stuff. That aside, Kyouka just vibing up until she get the Urge to Go is. Hilarious, and would definitely happen. Also you’re right, Atsushi definitely collects old and vintage stuff and tries to restore it a bit and you should say it. Anyways, poor Atsushi is just left struggling to keep up with his adopted baby sis because how did we get here? (Nyanon, 2/10)

Kyouka what??? Kyouka please he is Confused (even though he definitely supports her traditions, like you said- Our boy is just wondered why it came out of nowhere). And those four sound like a good choice for family friends! I feel like Kyouka would get. The ODDEST assortment of gifts from them- Like, Yosano gives her an Entire Emergency Kit and Kouyou just gives her Swords and also pretty clothes. (Nyanon, 3/10)

Of course, Fukuzawa gives her toys for the local strays and some pocket money if she needs it, and Lucy probably gives her a doll or something. Atsushi, of course, fusses over making sure she has Everything, including books, bedding, her broom, and Kyouka did you pack all of your clothes??? And of course, he probably passes her Byakko’s special basket and bed (because that would be One Spoiled Cat) while in tears, like you said, because he doesn’t want her to be alone. (Nyanon, 4/10)

AND DONT WORRY KENJI IS DEFINITELY THE BOY SHE MEETS, I ALSO SHIP IT, THEYRE ADORABLE AND I LOVE THEM. He chatters to her about his life on the farm and how much more busy the city is, and they bond over being in a new place on their own. Poor Atsushi can’t catch a break, and he probably freaks out everyone else by running away. Like, what the fuck are they gonna tell Kyouka when she gets back??? Atsushi where did you go? (Nyanon, 5/10)

Meanwhile Atsushi is frantically trying to Not Be Cursed and it is. A work in progress. It’d be much easier if the wizard he found actually helped instead of being a trolling bastard. Said wizard and his minions (friends) are all taken with the weird cursed maybe-not-an-old-man who’s now their house keeper? Albeit in different ways, of course, but it’s hard not to be when he’s a sweetheart, of a bit anxious. Dazai just wants to know how the fuck he gets Chuuya to listen to him. (Nyanon, 6/10)

Also please consider: Atsushi having black hair at the start, but it ends up a permanent silver with a black streak by the end, because he’s starting to embrace himself. Dazai falling farther and farther in love as the story goes on and not even realizing it, and it’s totally normal to pet someone’s hair and compliment them so much, shut UP Chuuya, you’re a sentient ball a gas, what do you know- Anyways yes I’m taken with this AU, no I don’t mind your tangent. (Nyanon, 7/10)

And it’s just like [Dazai: I’m sorry like you ignore your what now??? // Atsushi: // Dazai: Atsushi-kun please answer me- ] It’d be so chaotic it’s great. Anyways, yeah I could definitely see him not really,, Registering? That everything he once had to do isn’t necessary anymore- It’d definitely be hard to break the habit, given how long it was literally beaten into him. It’s probably the same way when it comes to like, eating and stuff? Given his experiences. (Nyanon, 8/10)

Then he realizes halfway through the day that he can, in fact, eat, and he isn’t used to that? Please help him. But all of that definitely would make him more eager to try new things, once he realized he could! He’ll try everything with anyone who’s willing. Like, he’ll do flower pressing with Kunikida (who thinks they make good bookmarks), or he’ll try collecting things with Dazai (who collects foreign coins, though Atsushi finds that he favors bottle caps). You know what I mean? (Nyanon, 9/10)

But anyways, another Scenario Concept: Please imagine Dazai and Atsushi taking naps together. Like, Atsushi curls up on Dazai’s chest and Will Not Move, and no one has the heart to move him, anyways. Dazai buries his face in Atsushi’s lap and let’s himself fall asleep while Atsushi plays with his hair. I don’t know, I’m tired and can’t think of much right now. I just want fluff. (Nyanon, 10/10)

DW!!! I ALSO SUCK AT KNOWING WHATS OVERSHARING OR NOT AND I LOVE IT WHEN SOMEONES VERY OPEN AND RAMBLES ON A LOT BECAUSE ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEAR IS AWKWARD SILENCES AND DRY CONVOS SO I LOVE THOSE TYPE OF PEOPLE CAUSE THEY ALSO MAKE ME TALK BETTER AND WE JUST HAVE A BETTER CONVO OVERALL

i loVE THEM GIVING HER THE ODDEST GIFTS I BET FUKUZAWA IS THE ONLY ACTUAL NORMAL ONE WHO GIVES HER NORMAL GIFTS meanwhile kunikida (did i say he would be a friend as well??) would give her the C UT E S T stationary items for her studies.

and chuuya’s curse would definitely be reduced to a flame!! and akutagawas curse,,,hmm,,,maybe that he has poor health??idk if that makes sense- BUT. PLS. I CAME UP WITH A CHUUAKU AU WHERE THEY MANAGE TO FALL IN LOVE AND EVERY NIGHT AKUTAGAWA IS HUDDLED NEAR THE FIREPLACE AND TALKS TO CHUUYA SOFTLY JUST THEM TOGETHER WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE IS ASLEEP AND ATSUSHI PRETENDS NOT TO HEAR THEM HNNN AND WHEN THE CURSE IS BROKEN AND CHUUYA IS NO LONGER BOUND TO DAZAI HE JUST IS SO HAPPY HES FREE AND AKUTAGAWA LOOKS DEFLATED RIGHT BUT THEN HE IMMEDIATELY TACKLES AKUTAGAWA IN A HUG AAAA-

anyways Y E S i totally agree with atsushi having black hair and it turning grey how dare you be so amazing WOW <33 and chuuya would definitely keep on teasing dazai about everything he literally does to atsushi the moment the young(old??) man is out of earshot

flower pressing with kunikida,,,how dare you make me soft i hate you and DAZAI AND ATSUSHI TAKING NAPS TOGETHER AAAA THATS SO CUTE PL S IM CRYING

#anon #ask #ask anon #anon ask #bsd #nyanon #nyatsushi anon

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