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#queer coded villains
armoredsuperheavy · 8 months
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MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: An Insufferably Queer Film Review
I rewatched MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987) for the first time since it came out last night and WOW I have some thots about this thing. We enjoyed roasting the living shit out of it but there's a few gold nuggets in there despite the brutal budget cuts that impacted the plot and what not.
Contains plenty of spoilers.
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God bless Wardrobe
OK so … the film doesn't bother to set up any real motivations for the characters, and He-Man (an incredible looking Dolph Lundgren rrrowrrrr) has almost no dialogue which is such a fucking waste. But this complete lack of narrative framework means we can apply OUR OWN explanations to events.
From the very beginning Skeletor has this obsession with He-Man, which will simmer and then culminate in a final showdown. But before we get to that hot mess, we have to wade through the middle of the film.
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He gets as much screen time as He-Man.
Meet the utterly repulsive dwarf scientist Gwildor played by Billy Barty, a rinse-and-repeat of his performance as an utterly repulsive magic troll in Legend (1986). This dwarf is the film's Jar Jar. His face is like a deep dish pizza after an acid attack. His real mouth is visible behind the immobile thick prosthetics and it makes for some truly disturbing close-up dialogue shots. Please, pan away from Pizza the Hutt and give us another shot of Lundgren's pecs please I am begging you, DP
We find ourselves in Gwildor's hobbit hole, and he's a magical inventor. So he has this cylindrical object, it's not clear whether it's a weapon or a teleporter but I'm calling it the Butt-Reamer 9000. Inexplicably, there are two of these things and Skeletor has the other one, and wants to collect both of them. So Skeletor has an excuse to go hunting He-Man as he's hunting his missing McGuffin, er I mean sex toy.
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Features rotating ticklers, a big improvement over the Butt Reamer 8000.
The thing about the Butt-Reamer 9000 is its magical power to make even this promising setup devolve into a grind as it whisks the Eternians into the magical, enchanting world of a 1987 New Jersey parking lot. WHO WROTE THIS?
The entire middle of the movie is pretty much hot garbage and involves police detectives, arson, vandalism, high school prom, and other dumb bullshit. Aside from the distractingly naked He-Man, the good guys are an utter bore and include some Eternians, some regular Earth humans and their quotidian concerns which really brings down the fun of the movie. (No, baby Courtney Cox, I don't care about your imminent breakup with your mediocre boyfriend!)
The film owes a second mortgage to Star Wars and steals a lot of ideas from it, from bad guys in shiny black stormtrooper helmets, to heroes shooting blue lasers, baddies shooting red.
Let's turn from this depressing state of affairs and focus back on our cherished villain blorbos.
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(L-R: Karg, Evil-Lyn our goddess, and Blade.)
Evil-Lyn is beautiful, evil, a cold bitch queen. Gurl you can do so much better than sticking with this loser Skeletor.
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Dump! Him! He's gay anyway!
Skeletor is a shit lazy boss of Greyskull and makes Evil-Lyn run the goddamn place in general. He literally shoots the messenger at one point. Great for morale, there, Skel buddy.
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Look closer. Fierce!
There's a number of budget rate henchmen on the job, including Karg, who used a whole can of aqua net this morning and is running around in a white fur capelet with a massive bouffant. He is just doing his best okay, really it's hard to look fabulous around these other bitches.
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Blade definitely deserved more screen time
Also, Blade, who had a slutty costume of silvery scale maille or something, and was a bit like a sci-fi bondage Riff Raff / space Judas Priest. Best side character costume.
So, there we have it, the queer coded villain roster of the film.
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This homemade collage is for sure taped inside Skeletor's locker at school
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Note the gigantic brown eye.
Finally, thank Satan, we return to Castle Greyskull, though it's more like beige-and-brown-skull. But aside from the questionable use of faux marble finishes, this is a quality villain lair with hard points installed directly in the floor of the living room, convenient death pits, and an excellent throne setup that I'm pretty sure they recycled for The Fifth Element.
He-Man is captured alive and brought before Skeletor. Blade does the honors with a 15 foot glowing red bullwhip to He-Man's naked and oiled back, much to the delight of dyed-in-the-wool sadist Evil-Lyn.
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Movie is getting good now. Was the side quest to Jersey really necessary?
Skeletor, though, watches this action from the throne and has a lot of interesting responses. We had to conclude that Skeletor is a big old bottom but won't admit it. As a dom he is utterly ineffective. He's trying to make He-man kneel and all this shit but He-Man is not submissive at all. Skeletor is … lol. He really just wants to smell He-Man's dick.
The depths (heh) of his bottom nature will become apparent shortly. But first, a costume change.
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Skeletor's glow up --- i'm every woman.
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Honey we know you're just trying to impress He-man.
Werk tho.
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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Hole
The gigantic sky-sphincter directly behind the throne has slid open wide… "Begin! The Goatse Ritual! Join me, He-Man, as I become LORD OF THE GAPE" But He-Man's phallic symbol shines bright in defiance. In the end, Skeletor is vanquished symbolically by his own nature and instead of his hole swallowing He-Man, a gaping hole swallows Skeletor instead.
They don't really explain what happened to Evil-Lyn after He-Man's inevitable victory in final man to man combat but she was too smart to get caught sleeping in there and must have survived. What a hot evil competent BABE. After the events of the film end, I vote that Evil-Lyn seduces Teela (the good guy solder lady) and has a hot toxic lesbian affair with her.
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Evil-Lyn serves cunt in hell 4 evar
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Want some more?
Nice fanart
Another breakdown on Buzzfeed if you enjoyed mine this is even more gay headcanon
The movie is free on Tubi if you want to subject yourself to it.
ArmoredSuperHeavy, 19 Aug 2023
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gender-luster · 2 years
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back on my bullshit once again
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Queer coded villains make the best role models.
I say that because they were the only relatable characters I had growing up which is why I am now a queer coded villain.
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Whumptober No. 30: Borrowed Clothing
Whumper dressing Whumpee up in their clothes ♡♡♡
Whumpee hates the style Whumper forces on them. It's too flamboyant, suiting a queer coded Disney villain, not day to day wear. Whumpee doesn't understand how Whumper dresses like this every day. But Whumper says Whumpee looks much better this way compared to their old casual style.
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the-mountain-flower · 5 months
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Smn I realized abt Girahim from Skyward Sword and why he acts the way he does.
Obviously the doylist reason is because he's a very queer-coded villain and his flamboyant nature is supposed to portray him as unhinged and evil *exhausted queer sigh*; but I like coming up with watsonian explanations for things that don't have them in canon bc it's fun, so let's pretend it's not bc of prejudice and look into why acts the way he does, cuz it's actually interesting to think about.
Fi and Girahim (who btw I headcanon as using she/they and he/they bc that makes sense to me) are both spirits of a sword created connected to a godly power. However when we meet Fi, she gives the same energy as a newly-made sci-fi robot. She seems to only exist to serve their purpose, and doesn't look beyond that, or even seem to consider anything else than what she was made for.
However by the end of Skyward Sword, Fi expresses that although she seemingly does not feel emotions, they do feel something she believed is close to happiness.
Girahim, on the other hand, has no shortage of expressing his emotions. He is angry, excited, devoted, and all while showing a very distinct personality. If they were made for the same purpose as Fi, this wouldn't initially make sense (again, queer-coding). You could probably explain this as a byproduct of him being a weapon of Demise, except that he and Demise are very different people. While obviously influenced by Demise's evil, this wouldn't explain them having a distinct personality the way he does. And if this were the case, why would Fi not have the equal/opposite effect from Hylia?
But bc of how Fi went out of her way to express feeling happiness by the end of the story, and their overall subtle characterization, it's reasonable to conclude that the longer Fi acted as her own entity, the more they grew to develop something akin to the personhood other sapient/sentient beings have.
This means it's plausible that the reason Girahim is such a distinct character, and expresses his emotions so strongly, is because he has been acting as his own entity for a very long time. It makes sense that he portrays their feelings the way he does, if they didn't always have/perceive them.
Which is fascinating imo.
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strwbrypoptart · 8 months
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For any of you going through your villain era who aren't eating enough fruits and vegetables I want to remind you of how Captain Barbosa felt about apples
The visceral satisfaction, sweetness, and success that someone so deprived experiences when they win-
My fellow villains, my fellow queer villains, my queer-coded villains; we will outlive, and we will do so by taking sensual satisfaction in our fruits and vegetables.
If it feels like sinning to enjoy our nutrients maybe we'll remember to do it <3
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from Dear Francis,
by Brian Czyzyk
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queercodedvillains · 1 year
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It is my pleasure to present to you my submission for SasoDei week 2023, sliding in at the very last minute for today's prompt (90's) pls forgive me @sasodeiweek I hope I am not too late <3
Mallrats (3941 words) by nebulosaxiii Chapters: 1/9 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Deidara/Sasori (Naruto), background kakuzu/hidan Characters: Sasori (Naruto), Deidara (Naruto), Hidan (Naruto), Kakuzu (Naruto) Additional Tags: SasoDei Week 2023 (Naruto), 90'S, Akatsuki - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Claire's AU, Mafia AU, If You Squint, we are taking liberties translating the akatsuki into a modern setting here, Drug Use, Drug Dealing, Blood and Violence, POV Alternating, Bottom Deidara (Naruto), Top Sasori, BDSM, Queer Coded Villains Summary: In which the Akatsuki are 90's mallrats by day, crime syndicate by night. All the best criminals have a day job to launder their rent money, but the real fun only starts once they're off the clock.
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welcometohell09 · 1 year
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Don’t you love it when male queercoded villains are portrayed in a loveable, “we-wanted-to-write-you-but-they-wouldn’t-let-us-make-you-the-hero” way, but the female queercoded characters are the scary, plus-size, predatory old women who prey on innocent children when you aren’t watching? As if female queercoded villains are not always queercoded with the kind intent our patriarchal community often ascribes to queercoded (often male) villains, but many are genuinely designed to perpetuate dangerous stereotypes that go unsaid because they’re not deemed important enough to talk about?
(Female, ace-coded villains may also fit into this through the ‘heartless’ stereotype but I’m not qualified to talk about it.)
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gwydionmisha · 2 years
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Trope Talk: Queer Coded Villains
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nimrism · 2 months
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constantly thinking about the PERFECT setup supergirl season 1 had to make kara queer;
"oh my god, you're a lesbian" – winn to kara, in the very FIRST episode.
"hell, i wanna date her" – kara, about lucy lane.
"she does kinda give off a sapphic vibe, with that big old butch S chestplate" – leslie willis (livewire) about supergirl.
there were so many other instances in s1 alone, let alone in later seasons when lena showed up (recounting every queer-coded supercorp interaction would require a whole podcast). it was the PERFECT pretext to make her even just a little bit fruity, but the cw just couldn't handle it i guess
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spenglernot · 6 months
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STORIES TELLING: NED LOWE AND THE DEATH OF POOR REPRESENTATION IN OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH
In history, Ned Lowe was one of the most sadistic and violent pirates in the early 18th century, so he’s an obvious choice for a villain for season 2, episode 6 – Calypso’s Birthday.  What is interesting is what the OFMD writers chose to do with him.
Lowe announces himself to the crew of the Revenge with great fanfare (cannon ball attack) and gets right to the point.
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Ed is thoroughly unimpressed.
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Cut to Ed and Stede tied up while Ned attempts to set the mood so he can monologue about why he wants to kill Ed.
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Ed knows what’s coming. He is going to suffer but he still can’t be arsed to meet Ned with anything but vaguely bored dismissiveness (and Stede is happy to play along).
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Up on the deck, Ned prepares the crew for his big, dramatic moment of symphonic torture.
Note that the Revenge crew is tied down, braced by vices and generally unable to protect themselves from imminent torture and possible death, but their spirits are up. They don’t seem terribly fussed.
Then Stede uses his people positive management style to happily orchestrate a worker uprising in Ned’s crew.
Ned’s crew responds instantly; severing their allegiance to Lowe and telling him off.
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The crew sails away and talks profit sharing while Ned dully threatens to hunt them down.
Ned is now a prisoner of the Revenge crew and seems entirely disinterested in his own survival.
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And Ned sinks to the depths, without struggling at all.
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There is a lot going on in this episode: pay and labor equity direct action, gay love engagement bliss, kink humor, Stede being a hero and saving his crew by playing to his strengths, then having to decide whether to kill in cold blood and feel the consequences of that choice. Ed having one more reason to be done with piracy (while being so impressed with and fond of Stede), and then watching his man make a fraught choice and having to deal with the fallout from that. (And, damn, I haven’t even mentioned the passionate sex bit.) Anyway, back to the point.
Now for the the meta part
The Ned Lowe sequences are perfectly in keeping with OFMD’s signature blend of madcap violence, humor, and big emotional gut punches. But something about Ned Lowe just strikes me as off for this show.
Ned is seriously threatening the crews’ lives, so why don’t they take him seriously?
Why does Ned have such a boring, throwaway backstory?
Why is Ned so nonchalant about his own death; like it’s a foregone conclusion?
Why does Ned have a silver violin and silver spurs on his slip-on dress shoes?
Why is Ned sartorially monochromatic?
And then I realized who Ned reminds me of.
This guy,
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Earnst Stavro Blofeld in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971)
And this guy,
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Scar in Disney's The Lion King (1994).
And this guy,
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Xerxes, 300 (2006).
And it sure seems like Ned Lowe isn’t just an episodic villain. He is an archetype of the one-dimensional, stereotypical queer-coded villain that has been endemic in film and television throughout history. The OFMD writers have a lot to say about what to do with this kind of character:
Don’t respect him.
Feel free to openly mock him.
Don’t let him take your joy, even though he will hurt you.
He won’t disappear on his own. You have to throw something at him (take action) to make him go away.
Once he’s in the water, he’s content to drown. He’s not into what he’s doing any more than you are.
Oh and, just to be clear,
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The LGBTQIA+ community has a very long history of turning shit media into better stories. So, hey, big media, prepare to have your crap characters wrecked (improved).
Now, back to our transformative pirate show with rich, complex queer characters and a multi-layered plot that surprises me every week and makes me feel big feelings - most of all, joy.
Final thought: I do wonder if Ned Lowe is monochromatically silver as a tribute to/poke at, Hollywood and the silver screen.
This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.
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senditothemoonn · 6 months
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Can you please please *please* pretty please draw Francis in a barbie outfit
?
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The barbie movie should have been his origin story
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sapybara · 19 days
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Dream locking himself for 15+ hours in his office to work on his videos call that queercoding
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troythecatfish · 2 months
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"Twink Sauron isn't canon"
Neither is cishet Sauron. Not enough is said about him to decide one way or the other. So there's zero need to act like fans who enjoy queering the character need to be more realistic.
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