#pretending the only reason i drew this is to make them kiss but in reality i want to make them go through the horrors

[cspcrashing]

hypothetically speaking do you think cyhaino nier AU should kiss....

#genshin fanart #genshin impact fanart #alhaitham #cyno #alhaitham genshin #cyno genshin #genshin cyno #genshin alhaitham #cytham #haino #cyhaino #pretending the only reason i drew this is to make them kiss but in reality i want to make them go through the horrors #b model (hah!) cyno and s model haitham #yes they go through the canonical events of the game #yes i mean THAT part #happy cyhaino nier automata AU #chuu AU

[wlw-imagines]

No Truth In It - Amelia Shepherd/Reader (Grey’s Anatomy)

request: I love your stories!!!! Could you do one with Amelia Shepherd where she and the reader decide to be in a fake relationship for whatever reason you'd like and then eventually it turns into a real relationship? If you do, thank you so much in advance!!! - anon

a/n: these are from my old tumblr thefandomwritings from back in 2018 ! re-vamped and re-purposed!! hope u enjoy and forgive the 2018 me style writing

Your day had started as a relatively normal day at the hospital. In some ways and in some people's opinions it may not have been normal at all but of course, it had to be taken in perspective.

But you were sure that in anyone's opinion what happened next was somewhat absurd.

The sound of hurried footsteps slowly drew your attention away from the chart you were holding and onto Amelia, power marching down the corridor looking frazzled and slightly panicky. Upon spotting you she smiled and dragged you away from the nurses you had been standing near and whispered, "You have to pretend to be my girlfriend."

"Excuse me?" You asked, taking time to actually look at the woman in front of you, quickly checking for any signs of her needing medical assistance. Surely she needed medical assistance. 

She just smiled innocently at you, leaving you feeling ever so slightly bewildered.

"My ex is- you just have to trust me.” She rambled on, still in a bit of a frenzy. “Pretend we're in love."

"I-"

She looked behind you, before interrupting your attempts at making sense of any of this with one demand. "Kiss me."

"I’m sorry... what?" Before you could do, think, or say anything else, Amelia had pulled on the lapels of your coat and brought your body as close to hers as she could. She held your gaze for a few moments and you returned a slightly startled look before she cocked her head to the side slightly. You frowned, nodding a little. Sometimes it was just easier to go along with Amelia’s plans than question them. 

Her eyes softened and she smiled, slowly moving forward and brushing your lips with her own. Your hands almost instinctively moved to her waist and hers were cupping your chin, keeping you close to her.

"Ahem, Amelia?" A feminine voice brought you back down to reality and you quickly parted from your colleague, taking a step back and clearing your throat. "Amelia Shepherd!"

"Oh, Joanne... Hi." You watched as she smiled at the woman, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes making you curious about what was going on (and even more confused in general).

Joanne plowed on, "How are things? What are you up to now? How is the whole rehab thing going?" Asking one question after another. You found that you couldn't help but glare at this Joanne woman for asking such an invasive question and so you took a protective step towards Amelia way more quickly than you had previously stepped away from her. "Oh, and who is this?" She went on to ask, pointing at you but making a point of not looking at you.

Amelia glanced at you and smiled, "This is Y/N. She's my, uh, my girlfriend." You hesitated, sending her another alaramed look before smiling and nodding, eventually deciding that - fuck it - if the only way to be Amelia's girlfriend was through this weird situation of making a possible ex jealous (if that’s what was going on?) then you might as well go for it.

"Oh. Right, you moved on quick." Joanne laughed at her own comment. You felt Amelia tense up next to you and quickly held her back by wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her close to you. She glanced at you and softened again, taking a deep breath. "Well, I must admit that the real reason I came to seek you out today was to give you this."

The woman rummaged in her bag for a few moments, giving you time to properly look at her. It struck you that she really didn't seem like Amelia's type but maybe that was just wishful thinking. After all, the woman standing there was nothing like you and you wanted, more than anything, to be at least somewhat close to being Amelia's type.

Eventually, Joanne found what she was looking for and plucked out a deep pink envelope with a small sigh of satisfaction. She smiled, with a little glint in her eye, as she handed it over to Amelia.

There was an awful silence as Amelia realised what it was, "A wedding invitation?"

"Yes, Josh and I are getting married-" She beamed.

"Wow." Amelia quietly mused but still Joanne carried on, loving the sound of her own voice way too much.

"And I thought you would just love to stop by on my big day... As long as you don't suddenly confess you're still in love with me." She laughed again at her own comment. Your eyes widened at this strange woman and this weird encounter and at the fact that your assumptions had been correct.

"Great."

"Don't worry darling, you're more than welcome to bring a guest. Maybe your roommate or something. Although promise to keep that ghastly woman away from my family. You know they weren't big fans of your friends."

Amelia scoffed, "Sorry, what?" You could see how uncomfortable she was in this situation and to try and make it better, you did the only thing you could think of doing: Make this woman as jealous as you could.

"I'm sure Amelia would love to come but I'm afraid she's...” Your mouth had opened before your brain had decided on something to say, shit. Come on brain! “I'm- we're going house hunting." Okay, so maybe you weren't so great at this whole improv thing.

"Oh?"

You gulped and nodded, "Yes, I-" Amelia brightened up next to you, a cunning smile setting on her face.

"Y/N, surely we can put that on hold until next weekend? We wouldn't want to miss Joanne's wedding, of all things." Joanne tilted her head and let out an unimpressed little laugh.

"You mean, you're bringing her?" She finally looked directly at you, only to scoff and shake her head.

Amelia took hold of your hand again and brought it up to her lips, kissing your skin gently, "Of course."

You frowned, not intending to get yourself this deep in Amelia's dating drama, "You are?" You asked, trying to subtly shake your head.

"Yes. Maybe we can get some inspiration for our wedding." She beamed at you.

Joanne's smile quickly faded and she nodded, "Oh... well. That's just lovely. Marvellous, amazing." She muttered, evidently already hating your guts. "Anyway, I really should get going. I look forward to seeing you there, although if house hunting is planned I really wouldn't want you to miss out."

Amelia fake gasped and shook her head, "Oh, of course not. We're excited, right?" She squeezed your hand and you sighed.

"So excited." You said as sarcastically as you could. Standing next to each other and watching Joanne leave instantly made you feel better. You shuddered slightly and, once again, took a step away from Amelia, "What a vile woman." You muttered, picking your patient's chart back up and trying to focus - stop thinking about the kiss.

"I moved on fast? I moved on fast? She's the one that's getting married for fuck's sake!" Amelia ranted, frustratedly pacing beside you. You rolled your eyes and just grunted in response, trying to pretend your charts were more interesting.

"Mhmm."

"And the way she talked about my friends? Referring to them like that? Fuck you, Joanne." The fuming woman next to you stuck both her middle fingers up in the direction Joanne had left in.

"You do realise, she's gone?" You smiled, finally giving in and leaving your chart to the side.

"Well, I know that." She grumbled and pouted slightly. You both stood in silence for a few seconds, side by side, until Amelia perked up slightly, "But hey, we can show her what's what at her wedding, right? We can prepare. It'll be great-"

You shook your head and turned to face her, "Woah, no. We- I am not going to that wedding." The look on Amelia's face almost made you take it immediately back but then you remembered Joanne was a real life nightmare stuck in a human body, "Oh, come on, I don't know the woman! I don't want to know the woman. She sucks. What the hell were you doing dating her?"

"I know, okay? But firstly, I just want to say thank you for what you just did for me and also-"

"No, we're not going to the wedding. All right? I refuse." You firmly stood your ground, avoiding eye contact with Amelia.

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"Because?" She prompted, shuffling closer to you as she tried to catch your eye, "Hey, besides, I want to show off my girlfriend." You could see her grin slightly in the corner of your eye and you laughed, turning to her once again.

"You don't have a girlfriend!" Whilst there was a tiny ounce of hurt in her eyes, she pushed up her chin and raised an eyebrow.

"Come on! We're going. For me?” She tried again, but you stood firm. No way were you going to this wedding. “And you know, as your boss, I could always fire you if you say no." She smirked and started walking back down the corridor, the same way she had come.

You gasped slightly, "Amelia!"

"What, I'm just saying? Just think, there is bound to be a buffet. Free food?" She wriggled her eyebrows excitedly. You hid your laugh with a scoff and just shook your head. "See you for the wedding, gorgeous. I'll pick you up at 3:00." She shouted over her shoulder before rounding the corner and disappearing from sight.

Time to look for a wedding outfit then.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"I hate you."

"You love me."

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest, slouching in your chair, "There's no free buffet."

Amelia scoffed and nodded, "Which is great news." She took another swig at her water, finishing the glass.

"What? No." You shook your head like a small kid, "No, it's not. I've been here for 4 hours and it's the only thing I came for."

"Uh, it's great because it means it's a shit wedding. Everyone knows a great wedding has some kind of buffet." She smiled to herself before biting her lip and looking at your side profile. Even whilst you were sulking she had to admit you were cute, "And besides, I thought you came for my beauty and great skills of persuasion."

You hummed sarcastically, "Maybe the first one, definitely not the second." Amelia tried to hide her grin. Even if you were being sarcastic she still couldn't help the light blush creep onto her cheeks or a butterfly here and there in her stomach. She let the comfortable silence linger as she enjoyed the idea of being in a real relationship with you. The silence came to an end when she spotted a waiter carrying around slices of wedding cake, she called him down and took two slices.

"No free buffet but free cake is still good." She inched her chair closer to you, offering the cake as a symbol of peace. You gratefully took the cake and kissed Amelia's cheek.

Amelia sighed and looked at you in wonder, another great idea soon coming to her. She inched even closer to you and whispered in your ear.

"Hey, Joanne's looking, you gotta kiss me."

You frowned, looking around you, "What? Wher-"

Before you could finish, Amelia softly took your chin in her hand and turned your head to face her, "Hey, I don't make the rules." She softened her voice and slowly leant in, capturing every single feeling and memory that the kiss sparked. For a while, the two of you were in ignorant bliss, just using the excuse of making an ex jealous to move closer.

“Is she still there?” You asked, only inches away from Amelia.

“Let me check.” She looked over your shoulder behind you, and allowed a small frown to form before nodding, “Damn it, she is.”

“Oh, really?” You raised an eyebrow and Amelia shrugged, nodding.

“She’s walking over right now,” She looked back to you, “So we should probably kiss again. Only to make her jealous.”

You smiled, “You dated her for a while, right?” Amelia moved back slightly and slowly nodded, “Does she have a twin?”

She hesitates, clearly confused, “No, why?”

A small grin spread out onto your lips and you nodded over Amelia’s shoulder to the bride, her ex. “Just that I’m pretty sure she’s over there, not watching us.” You shrugged, “I wonder who you saw...” You make a show of looking over your shoulder, knowing that there she was never there to begin with.

“Okay, I’ve been rumbled.” Amelia admits and you turn back around to see her profusely blushing. 

You lightly squeeze her hand, “If I’d have thought of using that as an excuse, I would have a long time ago.”

She smiled warmly at you and pressed a kiss to your cheek, “You don’t need an excuse.”

Eventually you pulled slightly away, Amelia's hand still on your thigh, keeping you close. You took a minute just to look at the woman opposite you, really look at her, and to try and remember what this all felt like. It felt like home, like comfort. "Look, it's getting late. Shall I take you home?”

Amelia nodded, gathering her things, “God, I hate weddings.”

"Especially the ones without a buffet." You looked around at all the people trying to make conversation with the strangers next to them as you walked out of the building, desperately trying to avoid being caught by Joanne (which you were successful in).

Amelia looked down at the floor and linked arms with you, "I liked this one a little bit.”

"You did?"

"You made it more bearable."

"I try." You smiled, before moving your arm out from Amelia's and putting it on her lower back, "Come on, let's get you home."

"Mm, you're going to make such a great wife." She teased, getting into the car and shutting the door behind her.

The car ride back had been quick and full of comfortable silence. The radio had been on quietly and you had found yourself just humming along with Amelia next to you, staring at you every now and then.

It became worse once you had arrived at hers. The car ride silence was much more comfortable than this current torture anyway. You hated dating etiquette, especially when you weren't actually dating.

"So, thanks for being my fake partner." Amelia awkwardly smiled, getting her keys out and shuffling her feet as you both stood outside her doorway.

You nodded, "Any time."

She took a deep breath, turned to open the door before turning back to you and shooting you yet another awkward smile, with a little nervous laugh added in this time, "Couldn't have done it without you."

"Yeah, it's been a pleasure." You took a breath to say something, anything. Just so this wouldn't end but you came out with nothing. And all Amelia could add was another filler.

"Yes, good fun."

"Mhmm..." Even worse that all you could add was a noise. Why did brains fail to find the words to say when you needed them most? You were a doctor, for god's sake, you constantly worked under high pressure yet couldn't find a singular appropriate word to say.

You almost praised the lord when Amelia finally jumped the gun and said what you were hoping she would say from the very beginning of the night.

"Do you want to come in?" She hesitated but continued nevertheless, "I can put some coffee on and we can make out for a while." She asked as if it was the most innocent thing in the world. You let a grin spread on your face and let out relieved laugh.

"Now, that's what I'm talking about." You moved closer to her as she excitedly turned round to unlock her front door, "Obviously I'm only doing this as your fake girlfriend." You joked, still unable to cope without being awkward.

Amelia turned round again, standing in her hallway and shook her head, "Nope. Just as us, no fakeness about it." She took your hand to pull you in, and swiftly shut the door behind you.

"That definitely works for me." You nodded before rushing forward back into Amelia's arms for more than just an ex-girlfriend. This was for you, this was what you had wanted all along.

#amelia shepherd #amelia shepherd x #amelia shepherd x reader #amelia shepherd imagine #greys anatomy #greys anatomy x reader #greys anatomy imagine #greys anatomy x y/n #wlw imagines #WLW #wlw imagine #wlw x reader #wlw-imagines #No Truth In It #imagine #lesbian imagine #lgbt

[tumbledfreckles]

Absolutely!

She should not be doing this. She knows she should not be doing this. She'd been warned against doing this.

But really, Quidditch practice ended half an hour ago. Surely he would have cleaned up by now. Right?

Hope this works! <33

This has not been edited, and it should have been edited, but screw it, I loved this prompt, I've stayed up way past bed time to write it, I wrote 1800 words instead of the 500 I planned, so have it in it's unedited glory and don't judge me too harshly. It's late, but its shirtless James Potter May or Jumpers off for June or really, just a thirst trap drabble to get your week going well.

Lily knocked softly on the door to the locker rooms, her breath caught in her throat, a thrum of anxiety running in her veins. When there was no sound, no answering call, no bid to enter, she paused for only moments, before biting her lip and pushing on the door handle.

She should not be doing this.

Her footsteps were quiet as she made her way down the long corridor that led to the locker rooms. Doors of the unoccupied rooms were shut, her finger tips dragged against the names of each team as she went. Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and then finally, at the very end, Gryffindor. Unlike the others, this door was set slightly jar, light seen through the gaps, but no sounds emerged. The team had clearly departed.

She knows she should not be doing this.

Lily gritted her teeth, taking a deep breath as she pushed open the door, wide enough for her to slip through. It closed gently after her, allowing her to lean back against it, hands still caught on the handle behind her. She clutched the handle for dear life, knowing she should turn it and go back through. Knowing that to go further into the room was a boundary she shouldn’t cross.

She’d be warned against doing this.

As expected, the locker room was at least empty. She’d never been in here before, not being on the team, and never before having anyone she’d wanted to follow into the abyss. The reality was as bad as Lily had imagined. Likely due to the graces and actions of the house elves, it was cleaner than expected. There were no used towels piling around, no dirty, soiled uniforms discarded. The walls were filled with posters and pictures of Gryffindor Quidditch teams throughout the years. Banners and scarves lined the players' open lockers, caught on the name plates fastened above each one.

Almost as soon as she noted the name plates, her eyes caught on one in particular. A name that had fallen from her lips more often than her own had this year. A name that used to come out with derision, but was now pronounced with warmth, with feeling, with an unexplainable but inexplicable feeling of joy. The locker below it was the least orderly of them all, clothing still hung on the hooks, shoes and boots underneath the bench seat in front of it. Shin guards and pads and flying goggles still littered the bench and shelf.

The captain himself was nowhere to be found however. The sound of running water drew her attention to another doorway, at the far end of the locker room. Steam poured out of that room, leaving Lily in doubt that it was the way to the showers. Somewhere she definitely shouldn’t be going. She could wait out here for him. She only wanted to check on him, close the loop on their earlier conversation. She felt guilty for leaving him hanging, but that was no reason to follow him into the showers, surely.

But, really, Quidditch practise ended half an hour ago. Surely, he would have cleaned up by now. Right?

With that solid, solid reasoning ringing in her brain, spurring her on despite a wealth of misgivings, Lily moved forward. Her heart was racing but her movements somehow remained slow, cautious.

“Potter?” she called at the doorway.

No answer came.

Lily shook her head, cheeks already turning red as she contemplated her next action seconds before completing it.

She was only two steps in when she pulled up short.

James stood under the shower, mere metres from where Lily herself stood. A low wall hid most of his lower anatomy, but his back was on full display. Water ran in rivulets over strong, broad, tanned shoulders. It drained off his elbows as James reached to scrub at his hair, a movement Lily had seen him do a million times across their seven years of schooling, but never when he was wet. Certainly not when he was otherwise naked. His back arched, showing the muscles down his spine, lifting the beginnings of the curve of his arse into view.

“Fuck,” Lily whispered, her mouth having gone completely dry.

Of course, while he hadn’t heard her earlier call, he heard her quiet swear. Or maybe he’d felt the weight of her entranced, intoxicated stare. Before Lily could remove herself from a situation she definitely shouldn’t be in, even if it was the most beautiful site she’d seen all day, all week, all year, James turned.

“Lil- Evans,” he said in surprise, jumping slightly, before shutting off the water and reaching for the towel resting on the edge of the wall. “What’s wrong?”

“Noth- shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have -”Lily started, taking a step back, only she missed the doorway and landed against the wall next to instead.

It really wasn’t her fault she couldn’t focus.

If James’ back with a gift of meticulously carved marble, smooth skin and muscle that Lily just wanted to sink her teeth into, then his front was a bloody work of art. Well defined pectorals sat prominently, on his chest, surrounded by curved shoulders, impressive biceps that helped his brilliant throws on the field. Pools of water had collected in the curve of his collarbones, enough that Lily could have lapped happily to ease her suddenly restricted throat.

She’d seen glimpses of his abdominals before. He was always reaching for his hair, running a hand through the beautiful, silky locks, she couldn’t help but get flashes as his shirt, or t-shirt, or jumper lifted up. Especially when he was already stretching back across the couch, complaining about the Prefect’s schedule, the points schedule, or the meeting schedule. Any schedule really, just because he knew it would rile her up. So she’d seen his stomach from time to time. Knew his prowess on the Pitch couldn’t come from someone who wasn’t totally fit. But seeing it glistening, rippling as he moved, shadows from the dimmed bathroom lighting emphasising each curve, well…

It was really more than one girl could be expected to take.

“Evans,” James tried again, frowning as he finished wrapping a towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower area toward her. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

Lily tried not to focus on how the twisted knot of the towel sat dead centre below his navel. How it drew the eyeline down. How the muscles in his sides pointed down like an arrow toward that knot, making her wonder what was underneath the knot.

“Uh,” Lily forced her eyes up. “I, uh, wanted to talk to you.”

She pretended not to notice how droplets collected on his eyelashes, so much easier to see without his glasses. How his face was devoid of its usual smirk, concern etched across his face instead, furrowing his brow, straightening his smile.

“Sure,” James glanced around, “I was coming back to the castle, you could have waited.”

“I couldn’t,” Lily blurted, before she could stop herself. “I couldn’t wait.”

James quirked an eyebrow, but paused in his steps, now less than three steps from her. At this distance, she could smell him. He was perfumed by that familiar scent of pine and spice, but in the heat and the humidity of the room it surrounded her, consumed her. She tried to take a deep breath in, to focus and prepare herself, but all it did was allow the scent to overwhelm her.

“Well, have at it, Evans,” he encouraged. “I’m listening.”

“Well, before, earlier.. You, uh… you asked, well and I, you, I didn’t,” Lily sighed impatiently at her stuttering, rolling her eyes before realising that meant she couldn’t look at him. Tried to remind herself not to look at him, it was clearly too much to look at such a sight and string a sentence together. Much more of her blithering and he wouldn’t care for what she had to say, mad woman that she was.

“Still waiting, Evans,” James teased now, a small curve of his lips appearing now. He seemed to be realising what had her in such a fluster, and took another step forward. Within reaching distance. Touching distance.

“Oh, fuck it,” Lily breathed, and gave in.

There was no resistance as she reached out and snagged James by the hand, then his waist, then his neck. She tugged his head down, and it came easily until, with a final push on her toes, she crashed her lips against his. His mouth moved without hesitation, giving as good as he got, pushing her back into the wall with a satisfying oof, his teeth finding her bottom lip, pulling it until her mouth opened and the punishing kiss turned into something deeper, sweeter, more satisfying.

Lily’s hands threaded into his hair, before dancing down to shoulders, stroking along his chest. She couldn’t pick a place she wanted them to rest, so she just didn’t, and touched and admired and petted to her heart’s content. James didn’t appear to mind her cheek was cupped, her waist wrapped up with one of those delicious arms she’d admired. He was still warm from the shower, still damp from neglecting to dry off, and she could feel that heat pushing through her clothes, flattening them against her, allowing his touch to burn through to her needy skin.

Without meaning too, having not consciously thought the action through, Lily’s hand landed on the knot in the towel she’d been so focused on moments earlier. The action gave them both reason to pause, and James pulled back just enough as they panted for breath and stared at each other.

She’d never seen his eyes so black, the hazel almost completely hidden dilated pupils and a blazing fire that would have taken her breath, if only his lips hadn’t done the job already. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and Lily’s eyes followed the movement closely, her newly acquired knowledge of the feel, the taste of his tongue, making her imagine in a way that was all too real, how it would feel if he did the same to her.

“You had an answer for me, Evans?” his voice was hoarse, husky, like he’d run a marathon in the seconds, minutes, that they’d been kissing.

“I hardly think it matters now,” Lily’s laugh was almost bitter as it escaped from her, as she pushed back wet hair from his forehead, brushing her thumb softly across the scar above his eyebrow.

“Tell me anyway,” his fingers brushed down her arm, tipped her chin up, catching her lips again for a brief but perfect kiss.

Lily sighed, kissed him again to stall, cupped his face with both her hands to make sure he was paying attention. She was only going to say this once.

“Yes, I’d love to go to Hogsmeade with you next weekend.”

#jily #jily fic #jily fanfic #hogwarts jily #canon jily #freckles writes #probably can't call this a drabble #its really a oneshot #oops #shirtless james potter may #jumpers off for june #or whatever it was for june #forgive the lack of editing #i beg you

[sunasbabie]

-ˋˏ can we pretend ˎˊ-

paring: osamu x reader

genre: fwb! angst

note: i was listening to some sad songs and got inspired by it so here we go

masterlist

you look so much happier, without me there

you stared at him from afar watching as his eyes crinkled, head thrown back laughing at something that the girl at the bar said. he kept on talking to her as if she was the one he was supposed to meet tonight. you haven’t seen him this happy in the last few weeks of your arrangement. you remember the day when it was you who he was laughing with how he looked so happy to get to talk to you.

“hey, is this seat taken?” some stranger asked you

“no go ahead” you had replied, lowkey checking out the stranger beside you. “nice shirt” you complimented him.

he looked at you and laughed “thanks, i would actually be pissed if no one said that tonight”

you laughed at how dumb that sounded.

“i’m just kidding, i’m osamu, what about ya?” he stretched out his hand for a handshake.

“y/n, nice to meet you osamu. so what brings you here?”

somebody else is waking up inside your bed when i'm alone

it was a mutual agreement a typical one really a friends with benefits arrangement and the was only one rule no falling in love

“are ya sure about this” he asked as he was opening his bedroom door. his clothes already half off and hair in a tangled mess and you looked the same.

“yeah, i want this” as you leaned in for another kiss

because i'll never say enough to make you wanna keep me close

it was always the same thing, he would fuck you and leave you breathless everytime. no matter how much you tried to convince him that it was okay to stay the night

you lay in bed after a few rounds with osamu. your head was on his chest while you drew circles on it.

everytime time after you guys fucked you’d always do this and osamu would always stroke your hair or lightly run his finger up and down your arm. blankets covering the both of you.

he sat up and moved you to lay on the bed “that was great but i have to go” he sat up grabbing his boxers and putting them on and proceeded to grab all his other stuff.

you grabbed the blanket in an attempt to cover your body. “you know you could stay, i don’t mind. besides it’s already late” you tried convincing him.

he put oh his shirt and shimmied into his jeans “nah it’s alright. besides i don’t think i should stay” he leaned in closer giving you a quick peck on the lips.

“bye, see ya tomorrow” he said as he closed the door to your room.

“yeah see ya”

you were starting to fall in love with miya osamu

i'm just the reason why you're running out of patience

“where are ya, i told ya we were going to meet at 7. it’s already 8:30” you read the text from ‘samu

“i know but i lost track of time, i’m sorry i’m leaving now” you replied, stuffing all your things inside your bag.

you felt your phone vibrate again.

“forget it”

can't keep pretending that we're something worth saving

you knew the moment you caught feelings for him miya osamu your fuck buddy it was over. you tried not to fall in love with him but in the end you can’t control how your heart feels.

“i love you ‘samu” you muttered while the two of you met at the cafe you would usually meet to plan out your schedules for the week.

“i’m sorry, what did you say?” but in reality he heard your words clearly.

“i said i love you. i know this wasn’t part of the arrangement but lately i’ve been feeling different and i was wondering if you were too?” you were nervous for his answer.

“y/n i thought we agreed no feelings attached? wasn’t that the whole deal and basically the most important rule?” he ran his hand through his hair.

“i know, i didn’t mean to, it just happened. i’m sorry” tears starting to form in your eyes.

“yeah i’m sorry too y/n. it was great while it lasted but i won’t do this anymore, not with you. sorry” he said as he stood up and left you.

now you’re sitting there alone and broken-hearted over a relationship that you could never save.

#miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #osamu x reader #miya osamu angst #osamu angst #miya osamu x you #osamu x you #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #miya osamu imagines #miya osamu scenarios

[minachuuu]

The Voice That Keeps Following Me

❣The Voice That Keeps Following Me❣

The sequel for Voices I Can’t Run Away From is finally here. I chose to make it a sequel and not a 2-part story, because I wrote the first one thinking of it as a stand-alone story, but I was requested a second part and I really like how it turned out! Hope you enjoy it too!

❤ AU: DreamCatcher (Fem!) 8th Member

❤ Genre: Angst

❤ Word Count: 6.8k

❤ Song Suggestions: Scream by DreamCatcher and Fight Inside by Red

⚠ TW : Harassment, blood and guns.

Day 134

Look at my family. 

My mind sometimes likes to play and pretends to be a camera, it goes through life slowing moments down around me, allowing me to bask in the emotions that they gift me. And then it stores them, there in my fondest memories. I have a lot of them to choose from when my thoughts get dark, the light they emanate is enough to shut the whispers in my mind. 

The warm embrace of my members is one that comes very often, but it was that night around four months ago that I first felt like someone really loved me. But do they really? And I try not to look back from that. Or do I?

The sun was high in the sky, a warm and welcoming spotlight that followed us through your late winter promotions, the chilly winds still rattled the thin hair in your forearms, but there was no more snow falling from the sky. The windows in the van didn’t fog like before and you could watch little flowers sprout all over the city as spring felt closer and closer.

Your favorite song was blasting through your right earpod, while the other ear enjoyed the background noise of Yoohyeon and Bora bickering in the seats in front of you. Yubin sat by your side, ignoring all reality happening before her while playing a game on her phone.

A light chuckle escaped your lips when you caught a glimpse of SuA tossing what could have been a sock to Yoohyeon, hitting her straight in the face. The latter just turned around, dumbfounded as Bora’s sudden laugh even managed to make Yubin raise her view to her. She then turned her head towards you, her eyes asking for an explanation. You didn’t play attention to the reason why, so you could only offer her back an affiliative smile and a shrug. It seemed to be enough for her, since these two always going at each other every single day was a good source of entertainment.

Your eyes travelled outside, discovering that you were already at your destiny. The fansign venue was already surrounded by a long line of eager fans waiting for you, and as soon one spotted the van, they all turned around to wave at you. Except for one guy that stood out for you from the others for not matching the excitement around him. All dressed in black, the hoodie covering up half of his face.

They’re still here, and they won’t go until you go down with them.

A sudden chill went down your spine, just as every time that you had to encounter an audience face to face, but shaking your head, you were quick to shut it down as the rest of the fans excited smiles and screams muffled behind the window drew a smile on your face, one that you didn’t get that often.

The car stopped it’s movement just behind the venue and the door opened, letting all unfiltered light into your eyes. Yoohyeon and Bora got out of the van and then the manager helped you and Yubin out too. As soon as your feet touched the ground, you felt an arm intertwined with yours, pulling you closer.

“Y/n!” Bora’s voice boomed as you identified her by your side. “If… Let’s say, you hypothetically had a favorite Unnie, who would that be?”

You stared at her trying to analyse what the best answer to that question could be, you loved all your members equally, but something in her voice told you that the question had a tricky part that she wasn’t telling you about. 

Your suspicions were confirmed when you raised your view, Yoohyeon shaking her head at the scene before her.

“It’s probably Handong-unnie.” You answered nonchalantly. 

“Y/n-yah!” Bora let go and slapped your arm playfully, pouting her lips. “You were supposed to say me! Alright then. Yubin!-”

“Mine’s Minji.” She answered without letting the older even breathe. 

“Ah!” Bora whined, cutely hoping in her place. “Why am I no one’s favorite?! That’s not fair!”

“Maybe because you jump in my bed when I’m trying to sleep?” Yoohyeon added.

“Or because you belt in my ear to scare me when I try to read?” Yubin scoffed.

“Or…” You thought of something to add, but Bora hadn’t been anything but loving to you most of the time. Yes, her way of showing love was sometimes super clingy and loud but, you loved her that way, so you couldn’t really come with a better excuse. “Or maybe because you’re just not Dongie-Unnie.”

She deadpanned towards you, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“At this rate I’ll never win the bet against Minji,” She sighed. She turned around, just when the other van was pulling up behind yours. Her eyes lit up, as she ran towards it. “Gahyeon-ah!!”

The three of you laughed out loud, shaking your heads at the occurrences of your older member. You walked towards the entrance of the building together, your laugh still dying down when you heard Gahyeon mumble in the distance followed by Bora’s loud whine.

“I hope Minji gives us our part of whatever she bet against her,” Yoohyeon chuckled, holding the door open as you entered the building.

We walked towards a large room with some couches and chairs, a table full of snacks and a wall entirely made of mirrors. Even decorated with some of your comeback posters on the other walls.

You walked towards the table, scanning carefully the snack offerings over it. Amongst some chocolate bars, caramels and beverages, you grabbed a bag of chips to snack as you waited to go outside.

“Good news everyone!” Minji entered the room with her arms wide open, a huge grin on her face. “Today’s dinner is on Bora!”

The seven of you cheered loudly as the latter just pouted, her arms still crossed and her eyebrows furrowed and plunged into a couch near you. You decided to come approach her, taking the seat besides her. You snacked on your bag of chips silently when you decided to turn to Bora and offer her some, she accepted them as she grumbled under her breath. The sight made you chuckle, seeing the most enthusiast member of your group all moody over a bet, but as the seconds passed, you started missing her energetic spirit.

“Unnie…” You leaned over to her, sweetening your voice. “If you buy tteokbokki, I promise you’ll become my favorite.”

She snapped her head towards you,her eyes squinting with suspicion and temptation to your offer. You smiled at her in the most innocent way that you could, bringing out your puppy eyes which you knew she couldn’t resist.

“Ah fine,” She cupped your cheeks with her hands, pinching your cheeks. The sudden gesture that prompted you to drop your mask, trying hard to get off her grip. “Just because you are my favorite maknae, even if you broke my heart in a million pieces. Just don’t tell the others.”

“I won’t, I promise.” Your voice muffled by the pressure that her hands were applying to your cheeks. You raised your hand, painting at her hands over your face “Can you… let go?”

“Never.” She released your face, but you didn’t get to savor freedom for long since she wrapped her body around yours, cuddling into you.

A sudden blush invaded your cheeks, softening your pride. You let yourself cuddle into Bora, while a smile kept growing in your face. 

And then, time slowed down as you let your eyes wander through the space. Minji and Siyeon are laughing in the corner, the white walls reflecting in the sparks in their eyes. Gahyeon and Yoohyeon bickering around Handong, but the oldest of them just smirked at the probably childish discussion they had going on. Yubin was silently existing by my side on the couch, reading what seemed like her hundredth book in the month. You still didn’t know how she managed to do it with all the activities of the comeback. And then there was Bora, cuddled in her arms, making you feel like you were protected from everything in the world.

You sighed, savoring the emotions in the moment, your heart warming up at the sight of the best family that the world was able to give you ever.

But, are you really sure that you deserve all of this? After all you made them go through?

Thankfully, the voice in your mind was broken when a manager opened the door, calling everyone out to the stage to start the fansign.

You stood up from the couch, as you felt your body shaking nervously. This being your first fansign since the last comeback, and the “incident”. That’s how you and the members preferred calling it without inviting back unwanted feelings and memories.

They were quick to notice your nerves and approach to surround you in that familiar and safety blanket that they were all so used to being part of. Shanking your head, you released a shaky breath out of your lips and nodded, the girls taking the sign to move forward.

You could hear the deafening cheers of Insomnias from the other side of the hallway, as your heart ramped up it’s speed. Unsure if that was nerves or excitement, you wrapped the first hand that you could, that being Siyeon’s. 

“Hey,” She turned around, offering you a conforming smile. “We’ve got your back, you’ll be okay Y/n.”

You nodded, leaning into her shoulder as you kept walking towards the main stage where your fans were already waiting for you. The door to the stage opened, making the shouts from Insomnia even louder. Your table with eight chairs and a bottle of water was already waiting for you too. The staff handed you each one microphone as you crossed the door.

The bright lights of the auditorium blinded you as you made your way into the stage, cheers cramming your ears. It took a few seconds for your senses to get used to all the sudden stimulation, but once they did, you were greeted with your fans waving and smiling at you.

You smiled back at them, offering them finger hearts and flying kisses. The clics from the fansites cameras refuse to cease, as you greeted your few acquaintances that sat between the audience. But as your eyes scanned around, you landed on that same man that you spot outside. With his hoodie still over his face, he wasn’t jumping up and down or smiling like the rest of the people around him. All you could see was a faint smirk in the shadow, as he slowly clapped to match the rest of the people. 

“Let’s introduce ourselves!” You heard Minji clap to get the attention of the group, and you quickly stood in a straight line facing your audience. “One, two-”

“Dream of me! Hello, we are Dreamcatcher!” All of you chorused together, pumping up your fans even more. Each one of them introduced themselves, one after the other. Gahyeon was last, and everyone remained silent.

“Hello! It’s Y/n!” You cheered through your microphone. The audience exploded louder than before. Even hearing some ‘We’ve missed you!’ and other ‘Insomnia loves you!’. You turned to your members, to find them all grinning widely at you, which made you blush intensely. 

But then again, your eyes had to land on that one unenergetic guy in the audience, still with the same grin and slowly clapping in his seat. 

Maybe they didn’t really miss you, maybe the group was better when you were gone.

You shook your head, trying to get the thought out of your head. But it kept nagging in there. Trying to talk, your lips parted as words got up your throat but never past your lips. You didn’t realize how shaky your hand was until you felt Yoohyeon’s trying to get a grip of it.

Closing your eyes and letting her hand embrace yours, you took a deep breath, and finally the last thought got foggy enough to let you talk.

“It’s good to see you all again!” You stammered through the microphone, earning the cheers of the room, even your members.

After some light chat between everyone sat at their places as the staff helped Insomias line up, they eagerly smiled, excited as they waited for their turn to go up and talk to all of you. Minji, who sat by your side, placed her hand over yours and only her glance and smile was enough to make you feel safe. 

Each one of the fans that talked to you beamed with light and joy, filling your table with so many gifts and letters that you wished you could give them back something more than just your signature. 

A cute, young little girl came hopping to your place holding her album in hand, carrying a very particular gift with her. A bag of chips that you hadn’t eaten since… since the day you returned home after the incident. After saying hello and quickly signing the album, she rushed into conversation with you, something you didn’t mind cause you were extremely curious about her gift.

“My grandpa remembered that you liked this type of chips,” The girl extended the gift to you, taking them with delivered surprise as your eyes scanned them. “He wanted me to tell you that he hopes you’re doing good and that he’s proud of you!”

“Wait, how did he know it was me?” You chuckled, apparently being grubby, behind a bucket hat, a baggy sweatshirt and lowering your voice was not enough to hide yourself.

“He says it was intuition. Or maybe just your voice.” The girl giggled nervously. “But when he came home that night, he told me that everything was going to be okay, that you were alright. I trust him.”

“He did help me a lot that day, your grandpa is a great man.” Your talking minute was running out, so you reached across the table and put your hands on her, offering her a warm smile. “Always be kind to everyone, who knows where I would be right now if it wasn’t for the kindness of your grandpa.”

“I will always be Unnie!” The girl squealed in happiness as she moved to the next seat to talk with Minji.

“Say hi to him!” You added last minute and she nodded before turning to take care of the fan now in front of you.

More and more gifts started milling up around you, even flower bouquets adorned your surroundings and the rest of DreamCatcher, the managers walking around and taking some of them away from you to store backstage so the entire table wouldn’t end up engulfed in gifts.

You were so into the fansign, talking to all your lovely Insomnias, that you didn’t notice beforehand about the one thing that unnerved you. Turning around to face the fan in front of you, there he stood, the ominous hooded guy. 

You tried greeting him with the same enthusiasm as the rest of your fans, but you were taken aback when instead of the usual cheery and giggle response, he just muttered a nonchalant ‘hi’ back at you.

You took his album, searching for the note with your name on it to know exactly where to sign. Finding it, you flicked to that page, but a cold chill traveled down your spine when you opened it.

Your pictures were scratched, painted and splattered over in a dark, thick, red tint. And over it, scribed in big black letters over everything, it read: 

‘DreamCatcher will always be 7’

Told you

“Wha-?”

You heard a clock that snapped your head up. Facing a gun pointed straight at you.

They’re going down and taking you down with them. One last time.

And then time stopped. A cold drop of sweat travelled down your spine, as a knot tightened in your throat. Your eyes wandered around, a hundred smiles completely oblivious to the sight right in front of you. All that was left was to close your eyes, hoping everything to be quick and painless.

“Y/N!” 

You heard your name be screamed just before a loud bang, returning you to this existential plane. But when your eyes shot open, you found yourself hitting the floor with your shoulder. 

A cacophony of screams and people in plain panic ensued, the hooded man was tackled into the ground, and people ran left and right unsure on where to run away.

You tried getting up to get a better view of everything happening on the other side of the table, but a sharp burning bolt of pain travelling your body all the way from your shoulder pinned you down in your place. You turned to it, your entire sleeve covered in a red, thick and warm liquid. Your arm limped, only hanging from your increased numbing shoulder. The tingle in the tip of your fingers increased and travelled through your palm as you stared in horror, as the puddle of blood extended through all your outfit.

“We need an ambulance!” You heard one of your managers shout from one side of the venue, as the noise in the auditorium got more and more muffled to your ears.

“Y/N!” Minji’s shadow covered the light above you as she approached, her heavy breathing and shaky voice calling your name over and over under her breath as she kneeled by your side. “Gosh, no, no”

“What’s going on?” You cried, barely any noise coming out of your mouth. Using your remaining strength, you reached with your hand towards your members, who urgently surrounded you. Along with other managers who moved fast around you, discussing stuff that you weren't able to hear anymore.

“We need to stop the bleeding, NOW!” Yubin commanded, looking around the place for something to surround your injury tightly around, Siyeon and Handong following closely behind her.

“Please don’t leave me,” As your eyes flooded with tears, you somehow managed to crawl into Minji’s lap, “Please.”

“Never, Y/n-” Her eyes full of tears as well, hold you close, not minding getting stained by the red liquid that surrounded you by now.

Painfully, you turned your head to watch around. Gahyeon and Bora were bawling their eyes out between each other's eyes, Yoohyeon kneeling beside Minji in an effort of calming down both of them.

“Here!” Handong came back with a large piece of cloth, quickly kneeling besides you and fasting it up tightly around your arm and shoulder with the help of Siyeon and Yubin. Minji was refusing to drop her hold on you.

“Unnie, I’m so sorry” Your throat stinged at the words, dried up of the tears that came non stop through your eyes. “I’m so sorry about everything.”

Your vision started fogging up, as you barely heard a siren outside, followed by the main door being pushed open, and voices of various people approaching. Fighting to keep your eyes, you wrapped one of your member's clothes with the remaining strength left in your body.

“Stay with us, please.” Siyeon’s voice was distant, but your eyes caught her lips moving as the words entered your brain. “Stay.”

But you couldn’t stop fighting against the weight of your eyelids. The noise surrounding you shut up completely, and the shadows that surrounded you were swallowed by complete darkness.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Day 135

I know they’re here. I can hear them sometimes, but they can’t hear me. How much time do you think they’ll keep up with you? Please don’t leave me. Please. 

Bora’s fingers traveled up and down your static hand with a gentleness that could put anyone to sleep. But this time it was the other way around. Surrounded by tubes full of unknown liquid flowing into your body, metal structures that seemed to keep the room’s gray walls from falling apart and the rattling but thankfully constant beeping of your heart monitor, everything she wished was for you to wake up.

Handong lay asleep across the couch on the other side of the bed, with only a weighted blanket covering her body from the chilly air circling the room, her head resting on the also asleep Yoohyeon who covered herself with around three thick jackets. The three of them volunteered to take the night watch in the hospital, replacing Minji and Yubin who refused to leave the hospital as you were received in the emergency room and stood by your side for the entirety of the first day. The managers insisted all of them to stay back at their dorm, but were quickly cut off by every girl, standing their ground on never letting you go again.

The first rays of sun peeked through the shades over the window, bringing a dim but warm light into the room with them. Bora’s tired eyes raised to watch the faint silhouette of the sunset through them. A knock on the door made her snap her head towards it, waking up the other two girls in the process.

“Come in?” Handong groggily whispered while standing up straight on the couch, rubbing her eyes.

The heavy door opened, revealing the other four members' tired faces behind it.

“How was your night?” Minji entered the room, hands deep in her pockets as she approached the feet of the bed, staring up and down at your weakened body laying before her. “Did you get some rest?”

The three girls already in the room shook their heads in unison, with Yoohyeon even burying her face between her hands.

“I never thought that a place so silent could be so…” She whispered, her eyes wandering all over the room, unfocused. “Restless.”

“There wasn’t much sleep at the dorm either.” Gahyeon added, sitting besides Bora as she carefully took a strand of hair away from your seemingly sleeping face. 

“We brought you some coffee…” Siyeon handed their drinks to Yoohyeon, Handong and Bora before sitting in a chair on the other corner of the room. “I hope it at least helps you stay awake”

“Any news?” Yubin closed the door behind her, laying against the wall. Crossing her arms as she scanned the room with her eyes.

“Well,” Bora stretched her arms, standing up from her chair as she kept stretching her entire body in the process. “The doctor said that everything is stable, all vital organs are okay and that Y/n will only need some rehabilitation in her arm and shoulder. So, she’ll be fine.”

Everyone let out a deep sigh of relief, as Gahyeon leaned down to leave a kiss on your temple, a fair smile crossing her lips.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t protect you enough.” Gahyeon whispered to you as she rested her head over her hands on the edge of the bed.

“But it shouldn’t be our responsibility to have to go around being careful and trying not to get killed,” Yubin scoffed as she paraded around the room. “That’s just sick.”

“I’m glad they caught that bastard.” Siyeon snapped. “And I hope he rots in the deepest rings of hell that disgusting son of a-”

“Siyeon, the kids!” Minji covered Gahyeon’s ears as she covered yours. Her expression softened for a second, twisting her lips in agreement. “But you do raise a very valid point.”

Minji let Gahyeon’s ears go slowly and cautiously, in case any of the older girls decided lo let their dirty tongue roam free again.

“But what I still don’t understand,” Yoohyeon rested her head over her knuckles, as she leaned forward over the edge of the couch. “How can there be people who still don’t want her in the group?”

“We will never make everyone happy,” Handong responded. “I wouldn’t be surprised if there was someone out there who still thinks you should have stayed with the Minx concept.”

The audible groans of Yoohyeon, Minji, Bora, Siyeon and Yubin filled the entire room, facepalms, shrinked shoulders, rolled eyes, their mouths hissing and lips twisting in a physically painful display of a cringy memory flooding their minds. The image encouraged a chuckle out of Gahyeon and Handong, who enjoyed teasing the others with their past.

“While I understood your point perfectly,” Yubin's unimpressed muffled voice stuttered. “there was absolutely no need to take it that far, thank you.”

“But she’s right,” Siyeon pointed out. “There’s people who don’t agree with us, but we now know there’s more people that actually like Y/n a lot! And, if she still wants to be in the group with us after all this, whoever doesn’t agree can walk through the door and never come back.”

“If she wants to be in the group?” Gahyeon glanced back at Siyeon, perplexed.

“Y/n’s been through a lot already,” Bora added. “Even though we love her, we wouldn’t force her to stay if she doesn’t want to.”

“And if she wants to go back home,” Siyeon continued. “We’ll respect her decision too.”

The atmosphere around the room got tense. Everyone understood and agreed perfectly, but it didn’t mean that they wouldn’t miss you if you decided to leave the group.

“Do you know when her family will come? The manager told us they were trying to contact them.” Yoohyeon asked the other girls, trying to break the awkward silence. “Maybe we’ll finally get to meet them”

“They won’t be coming.” Minji shook her head, resting her hands on the footboard of the bed.

“Are they foreigners or something?” Handong leaned her head, curious at the leader’s response. “We could help them fly here if they want to-”

“No, yesterday the managers finally told me the reason Y/n never really talks about her family, and I think it’s time all of you know.” She sighed, raising her head and placing herself somewhere where everyone could see and hear her clearly. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes to focus. “Y/n doesn’t really know her family.”

“What do you mean she doesn’t know her family?” Siyeon eyebrows furrowed, trying to understand the oldest’s words. 

“According to what I was told yesterday, she knows she had a family. But ever since she was a little child she had been jumping from foster home to foster home, until she became a trainee later.” Minji nodded, her lips forming a straight line as she got immersed in her own thoughts. Shaking them aside when she felt the pressure of the silence and the looks of the girls over her, she continued talking. “The staff was the one taking care of her after that and up until she debuted with us.”

“So, it’s almost as she doesn’t have a family.” Gahyeon trembled.

The stillness in the air became even more heavy over everyone’s shoulders now that it dawned on them the reality of the situation. 

The sun now fully out of the horizon peaked through the window, illuminating the room with its warmth and hopeful brightness. Almost like a sign from the universe, a ray of light rested amicable over your peaceful, sleeping face.

Bora placed her hand over yours, caressing it gently with her thumb. After a few minutes of slumberous and wary silence, like a spotlight calling to her to raise her eyes, she scanned around the room, a delicate smile making its way to her lips as she came to a realization. 

“Y/n does have a family.” Bora whispered, making all the girls raise their faces in confusion. One by one, as they locked their eyes with the other girls understood exactly what Bora was talking about, bringing kind grins into their faces.

As some happy tears started escaping some of the girls eyes, it dawned on them all your adventures together. All the hard and the pretty times, how everyone loved each other and accepted their highs and their lows. How every single one of them understood perfectly that blood is not what makes a family, but the unconditional love and support that all parts have for each other. Whatever you had going on in between, that was a family.

“She has us.” Yoohyeon nodded, posing her sight on your resting body. 

Swallowed sobs reigned the air until a soft hum stood out. Like a ritual that you all had together now, Yubin’s gentle singing filled the air, the other girls recognizing the song immediately. Your song. One by one the other girls joined her, harmoniously swelling their surroundings with a much needed drop of hope for their soul. As the song continued, each one of them cuddled towards each other, seeking the warmth and comfort of their arms. A silent promise to deliver this and so much more to you for the rest of your lives.

The song was arriving to their end, as silence once again reigned the room when a sigh from the leader broke through. 

“We’ll be here for Y/n, all the time she wants us to be by her side.” Minji flicked away a tear from her eye, nodding at her beautiful family around her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Day 136

I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere. As long as you live I’ll always be right behind you. I have so much left to give, just let me prove it.

A black canvas, covered in bright, sparkling freckles swallowed the sky, the horizon and the floor beneath you. The plain sound of your shaky breath echoed into eternity in every direction as you watched your feet walking on air. One step, two steps. Covered in a fair white robe, you felt the breeze dancing around you, but your skin didn’t perceive any cold from it, instead being embraced in a warm coating, from head to toe. Three steps, four steps. The stars around you didn’t seem to come closer or any farther as you kept advancing, but they all seemed to beat together at a constant beeping rhythm. Five steps. 

A pair of bare feet met yours in a perfect reflection, and as you slowly raised your eyes. Whoever was standing right in front of you was wearing the exact same white robe as you, moved their hands the same way, breathed the same way… looked the same. 

Standing right in front of a perfect reflection of yourself, you raised your hand towards your shoulder, pulling down the gown from it. Your reflection followed precisely, revealing your clean and well skin under. A relieved breath escaped your lips a little too soon, as quickly, a dark spot surged under your reflection's hand, spreading all over it’s arm, hand and chest. 

You leaped behind startled but your reflection didn’t follow through, instead, it started stomping towards you, as the darkness climbed all the way to it’s face. Your hand frantically searched for your shoulder, but there was nothing over yours.

“Who are you!?” You pleaded, running backwards to keep your distance with the impostor.

“Don’t you recognize me Y/n?” Your reflection's voice gritted through the air as a crooked smile was painted in it’s lips. “It’s me, the real you.”

“No, no you are not.” You gasped back, with a hit of doubt that didn’t go unnoticed by the entity in front of you.

“You see? Not even you know who you are.” The reflection reached it’s completely darkened hand towards you, inviting you closer. “Then what makes you think I can’t be you?”

“I-” You stuttered, the never ending starry void where you kept running away also allowed this creature to stay mere inches away from you, no matter how much you seemed to pull yourself far away from it. “Please go away.”

“You know I never will,” It tilted it’s head, sneering back. “Everyone around you has never loved you enough to stay, but I’ll be the only one faithfull by your side forever.”

It didn’t have to hit so low, but there was this little spark burning inside you that kept you up on your feet to keep running, to keep fighting. Through the sting in your eyes, you watched the stars start beeping at a faster rate, ready to try one more time.

“They haven’t left me yet,” You fired back. Your reflection glitched it’s presence before letting out an evil chuckle that echoed through the void.

“But you already know they will!” It scoffed, halting its steps. “Then why wait for it to hurt even more?”

“Because they waited for me.”

All signs of fun were erased from your reflection's face, letting you breath out for a second. But a disgusted smirk plastered across its face as it turned itself into someone else. The wide and gentle smile, her arms that always welcomed you in and her brown eyes that always made you feel safe.

“Minji Unnie?...” You gasped.

“And once again, you come in and ruin absolutely everything for us.” The voice was on point, making you trip over your feet and fall down in surprise. “It would have been best if you d-”

“I heard her! She said my name!” Minji’s voice bounced around, but not coming from the bizarre Minji standing in front of you. “Shhh, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

The creature before you took your form again, it’s breath angrily rising. It quickly shapeshifted to another form. 

“We don’t want you back!” It panted now as Bora, shouting to make its voice be heard over the accelerating heartbeat. “We don’t-”

“It’s okay, it’s all a dream!” Now it was Bora’s voice responding from beyond what your eyes could see. You saw your hand light up, warming up as if another hand graced on top of yours. “Everything’s gonna be okay. We’re here.”

The stars around you finally started getting closer, to both of you. The light engulfing both you and your reflection. It felt warm and gentle on your skin, but you couldn’t say the same thing for the other you in that place. 

Loud screeches of pain as it battled against the bright light touching it’s skin, shrinking against itself in its own place. You felt your feet floating, like a certain force pulling you up from the starry sky. You felt a cold hand grab you from the hem of your gown, as it’s colorless eyes searched painfully for yours.

“YOU’LL NEVER GET RID OF ME!” Your bizarre reflection snapped back at you in desperation, almost like a cry for help.

“Maybe,” You looked back at it, and just for a second, it’s eyes mirrored your human color instead of being a black, empty void. “But I’ll never stop trying.”

The bright light of the room filled your view, as your eyes snapped open. Trying urgently to adjust to the new light, your eyes blinked and scanned from side to side, as the blurriness slowly dissipated. A flash of pain escurried from your shoulder all the way up your chest, arm and head, as you looked down to a freshly closed wound, a gauze tenderly placed above your stitches. 

You looked at the shadows hovering above you, dazzled by the ceiling’s light once again when you turned your eyes up to one side. Two unknown faces, dressed up with scrubs were hurriedly taking your vitals, alternating the view between the monitors and you. Moving your eyes upward and to the other side, there they were. 

Bora rested her head on the edge, caressing your hand with her thumb, looking it you with the brightest eyes you had ever seen, and hovering just above her, Minji, flicking off a stray tear away from her face and Dami, a glowing smile adorning her face, one that cutely wrinkled her eyes as her eyes refused to leave you.

“You’re finally back.” Minji whispered as her tender grin grew up across her face. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Bora tenderly caressed your cheek as her own eyes filled with tears unwilling to drop. With the strength available in your body, you offered back a smile that immediately broke her. 

“We couldn’t bear the idea of losing you again,” She cried, clinging to your hand. “We missed you so much.”

“I’m not going anywhere Unnie, that’s a promise.” You mumbled back. 

“Precisely young lady, you are not allowed to go anywhere yet. At least until tomorrow” One of the nurses added, making all of us chuckle and lightening up the aura in the room. “Your vitals are running as they should and your recovery seems to be advancing correctly, you’ll be staying just one more day here.”

All the room cheered at the good news, relieved. You raised the bed to sit up and chat with the girls about everything that had been happening throughout the days, how the bastard that shot you was convicted and dealt with, with no mercy. They told you about how all the industry took steps to ensure the safety of the idols thanks to this incident, fundraisers in your name against gun violence and regulations, and they way the world looked at this with their own eyes.

“Here, take a look at this,” Dami handed you her phone, a playful smile as she did. “Would be better to focus on the good.”

“Wow…” You scrolled down an infinite stream of positive and supportive messages from Somnias all over the world. Outpouring love and comfort on every social media, erasing any doubt in your mind on how the people received you. “I didn’t think they would like me that much.”

“We had the same feeling when we debuted as DreamCatcher too.” Minji added, recalling her memory. “But at the end, the ones that really love you are the ones who stick around.”

“And the ones who don’t can shove their opinions up their-”

“Bora!” Minji covered your ears quickly, as she snapped her eyes towards the other girl.

You chuckled at the image, with Dami a few steps behind trying to keep her laugh too. But the moment was interrupted quickly by a knock on the door, followed by a nurse peeking her head inside.

“Sorry for interrupting,” She excused herself, “Your family came to see you!” 

“But I don’t have a fam-” 

“I’m not shutting you up the way I would like just because you’re still healing,” Siyeon’s voice accompanied her silhouette as she entered the room, a bouquet of flowers in hand. Followed by Handong, Yoohyeon and Gahyeon, each one carrying a present in their hands. “But as your official big sister, I’ll patiently wait until that arm works again to do it so.”

The remark made you giggle as you glanced at the girls and the radiant auras they carried with them. Now surrounded by an endless supply of snacks, courtesy of Yoohyeon and Handong, the sweet smell of fresh flowers by Siyeon and a new fluffy friend to hug by Gahyeon and a lot of laughs, you couldn’t help but let some tears drop from your eyes.

“Why are you crying?” Yoohyeon approached the bed, handing you a tissue.

“This must be how it feels like…” You stuttered. “Having a family.”

“But you have one!” Gahyeon, who was sitting in the bed with you chimed in. 

“I never told you before…” You swallowed, avoiding all their glances as you searched for the courage to come clean about your past. “But I have never met my family, so as far as I know, I don’t really have one.”

You looked up, only to be received by their tender smiles. Almost as if they already knew.

“What are we? Painted?” Handong sneered, making everyone laugh instantly. You giggled too, but your wondering eyes gave up that you were still a little confused.

“Family is so much more than blood lineage Y/n,” Minji added, trying to clear your mind. “And I really like the one that we have right here.”

Something clicked in your mind, calling even more tears to your eyes but a huge smile to your face. The girls all surrounded you in a careful but very welcome and warm hug. Submerged in the comfortable silence surrounding all of you, you could listen to some of the girls crying too. 

But it didn’t matter anyway, you had everything that you ever wanted now. 

“We’ll always be here for you Y/n.” Gahyeon whispered as she took your hand in hers. “We ain’t going nowhere.”

You nodded chuckling, cleaning some of your tears away from your cheeks, but they didn’t stop coming out of your eyes.

“Well, since you're being dismissed tomorrow,” Bora tried to light up the atmosphere a little. “What should we do to celebrate?”

“I suggest an arm wrestling tournament!” Siyeon barged in with a loud chuckle, making everyone turn around to face in disapproval. “It- It was just a joke.”

“But yeah! Putting all dangerous stuff outside,” Handong giggled looking back at you. “What do you want to do tomorrow when we’re finally back home?”

You scanned around at the bright faces surrounding you, each one bringing up that warm sensation on your chest. You had no idea what you did to deserve this much love in your life, but whatever it was, there was no way you would let it slip through your fingers again.

“Wherever you are,” You answered. “I’m already home.”

#tw guns #tw blood #tw harassment #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher scenarios #girl group scenarios #girlgroup imagines

[nerdypanda3126]

Damn, You Look Happy Now

It's angst week for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers Sprint Fic Challenge!

The rules are three 15-minute sprints with 24 hours for light editing, which includes new writing to smooth transitions or make it feel complete. I ended up with four sprints and added around 1,000 words on this one because... I mean, feels are really hard.

The prompt I used this time around was: "It's okay, I'm used to it." And that combined in my head with Heart Shut by Alex Hall feat. Tenille Townes which I heard the day after watching the episode and I couldn't help but think of these two. 

Summary: Luka's looking forward to a quiet performance in a small local bar until Marinette walks in leading Adrien by the hand. And she looks so happy. Luka just needs to pretend it's not absolutely killing him.

Warnings: S4/E1: Truth Spoilers, non-consensual kissing, drinking

Read on Ao3 

Luka glanced out over the crowd, idly picking at his guitar. After years of touring with Jagged, it was nice to play the background music for a quiet place like this. Although he had to admit the crowd was probably larger than normal for the small local bar.

He frowned unconsciously as his fingers started to find all-too-familiar notes, and his crowd-searching became more focused, intent on finding her. And find her he did. Worming her way to the tables in front of the stage, leading a bewildered, laughing Adrien by the hand. Her melody bubbled up to him over the hum of the crowd. It had changed. When they were teenagers it had been dragged down by confusion, longing, and responsibility. His fingers tripped over the strings lightly, every playful note confirming the happiness she’d found.

Adrien took Marinette’s coat and draped it across the back of her chair before helping her into it. She rolled her eyes when he pressed a kiss to the back of her knuckles and he smirked back before disappearing, presumably to order their drinks. The ease between them was obvious. He could only assume—well, admittedly he’d never asked. But in the limited contact they kept up, she’d never mentioned the new development, either.

She waved shyly at him up on the stage and he set his face in a smile and nodded back. She’d cut her hair. It was cropped close to her neck now, but she’d kept the bangs he remembered. As their eyes were linked, she reached up to worry at a pigtail that wasn’t there, asking him with her eyes if he liked it. Despite himself, his smile warmed as he nodded again. He really did. She looked so happy now, especially when Adrien returned to sit next to her and draped his arm across the back of her seat casually.

He tried—he really did—to focus on his performance, but it was honestly the worst of his life. His eyes kept drifting over to her, often catching her leaning her head close to Adrien’s to talk. Adrien subtly kept her drink full all night, until she was hiding giggles behind her hands and leaning amiably against his shoulder. Every once in a while she’d catch Luka watching her and sober instantly, straightening up to twist her fingers on the table instead, biting her lips and shooting furtive glances his way.

But Adrien would say something in her ear and make her smile again.

The end of his set was an immense relief. He planned on disappearing out back until they left. Not that he didn’t want to talk to her, he just… couldn’t. So he slipped his guitar off and set it aside before he slid quietly out the door marked ‘Employees Only.’

Instantly, he wrapped his arms around himself, regretting not grabbing his leather jacket. It was snowing, and already a thin layer was frosting the cobblestones of the alley he was standing in. There was one other person out there, on a smoke break, but they took one look at Luka and took a last puff before crushing it out and going back inside. The stale cigarette smoke hung around him and mixed with the smell of the dumpster and the crisp winter air. It didn’t help calm his twisting stomach. But he took deep breaths anyways, focusing more on the snowflakes landing on his hot skin, melting away to nothing like he desperately wished he could right now.

He heard the door beside him open and he didn’t even need to look to know she’d followed him. That haunting melody was already in his head and he took one more steadying breath, preparing to tell her he was happy for her as he turned to face her.

She was clutching her coat around her tightly, peeking up at him from behind snow-laden eyelashes. For a moment, neither of them spoke, letting the silence of the snow falling around them stretch to the point of breaking. He shook off the chill that was beginning to seep into his chest and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“You look good,” he started, “happy, I mean.”

“I am,” she murmured back, but there was a strange twinge to her tone. “Um, I wanted to tell you—”

“Marinette, you don’t have to.” He cut her off before the words he didn’t want to hear passed her lips. He wasn’t expecting the childish pout that scrunched her face.

“I do, though,” she insisted, “It’s why we came here tonight, to watch you play, and so I could see you again and tell you—” She took a sharp breath in and held it, biting her lip again. It was only then that Luka noticed the glassy sheen of her eyes and her reddened cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold. He counted in his head how many drinks she must’ve had over the course of the evening. Not enough to not remember, but definitely enough to not be in control.

“You’ve been drinking, Marinette,” he said gently. “You should go back inside. I’m sure Adrien’s looking for you.”

“He’ll wait.” She hiccuped and giggled. “But first I have to tell you something.”

“You can call me tomorrow when you’re sober.” He didn’t mean to be so short with her, but the image of her going home with Adrien hit him harder than he thought it would. He started to reach around her to open the door she was still standing in front of and usher her back through, but she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and tugged him down to her.

As she pressed her lips against his, his body reacted first out of habit. Too many years of crazed fans forgetting he was a person and not a sex symbol. His hands peeled hers off him gently and he took a step back. Except this was Marinette and it tore at something inside him to tear himself away from her.

When he blinked back to the cold reality standing in front of him, he licked his lips unconsciously before daring to look at her again. She was mostly stunned, her eyes blown wide and her lips still slightly parted.

“Oh my God, Luka, I’m so sorry. I just—”

“It’s okay,” he managed to choke out. Not that it was, but it was what came out of his mouth. He cleared his throat to try to speak past the lump that had formed. “I’m… used to it.”

Just not from you, his mind supplied helpfully. He was still holding her wrists and for some reason his thumb moved on its own, rubbing against her delicate skin, but he wasn’t sure if he was reassuring her or himself.

“That... was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. God, I’m so embarrassed.” She tried to hide her face in her hands, but ended up pressing her forehead against his chest instead, muttering about being a disaster.

He only resisted the urge to fold her into his arms because he could smell Adrien’s cologne lingering in her hair. Instead he cleared his throat again.

“Marinette, does Adrien know you’re out here with me?”

She looked up at him and scrunched up her face again, in confusion this time instead of defiance. “Of course he does. He’s the reason I’m out here with you. Mangy cat practically shoved me out the door.”

...What? He blinked at her, uncomprehending, and she sighed as she snuggled into him which was not helping his ability to process anything. He dropped her wrists and grabbed her by the shoulders instead, stabilizing her as he pulled her off him.

“You’re gonna have to help me out, here. You’re here with Adrien, right?”

“Well, yeah, I’m here with Adrien.” She rolled her eyes at him, but then when she caught sight of his serious expression, she seemed to realize something. “Oh, you think—No! No, I’m not—I’m here with Adrien, but I’m not here with Adrien, he’s—we’re—oh, it’s a long story, and that’s why I wanted to tell you, but it’s all wrong and now you think—and I—Luka, I didn’t mean to kiss you like that, I’m so sorry, you must think I’m awful and—”

He took a deep breath and sorted through her ramblings. With Adrien, but not with Adrien. His head was spinning. Adrien was the reason she was out here. She wanted to tell him something. None of it was really adding up, and yet at the same time it was.

“What were you going to tell me earlier?” he asked, doing his best to keep his voice even.

“Under the moon, deep within the woods…” she muttered under her breath, then hiccuped again. The faded memory of a failed date rushed back to him and whatever breath he had left him. She was twisting her fingers into the front of his shirt, seeming very interested in her shoes until she let out a short huff of breath and finally met his eyes again. “I wanted to tell you my secret, Luka, now that it’s all over. And I wanted to tell you…” She blinked up at him with those wide eyes and bit her lip again. This time, he waited for the end of her thought. She closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath in and let it out slowly. When she opened them again, they were clear, as blue as he remembered, and starting to brim with tears.

“I never stopped loving you,” she murmured. “It—the timing, was just—” Another short huff of breath and she wiped at her cheeks. Impatient with herself, it seemed, for not knowing which words to use. But then she drew herself up and the look in her eye became steely.

Every Parisian knew that look. Luka blinked just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, but it was definitely still Marinette in front of him and not Ladybug. But. She’d said it was all over. Hawkmoth’s defeat—he’d been in America at the time, but the news had done a small segment on it. Her secret. The realization crashed into him at about the same time the words left her mouth.

Without being aware of it, his hand drifted to his wallet in his back pocket and he easily withdrew the signed guitar pick necklace she’d given him. It felt like a lifetime ago. For a moment he let it hang between them, then let the cord slip through his fingers and into her cupped hands.

“I can’t believe you kept it,” she said softly.

She picked it up to look at it, no doubt noticing the wear on it. When he was writing songs on the road, or nervous before a show, or just thinking of her and wishing things had gone differently, he’d take it out and rub his thumb over the smooth plastic. The design on one side was nearly worn off from it.

“My lucky charm,” he murmured. Her eyes bounced back up to his as a genuine blush rose on her cheeks.

A shiver wracked through him as the new information and the cold caught up to him. Marinette’s expression instantly shifted to concern. “You must be freezing! We’ll go back inside and—”

As she turned away to open the door he spun her back to him and leaned down to press his lips against hers this time. She let out a muffled gasp of surprise, then wrapped her arms around his neck to hold him to her, angling her head to kiss him better.

When he pulled away—entirely too soon in his opinion, but it was hard to kiss her the way he wanted with chattering teeth—he pressed his forehead against hers fondly. She giggled and ran a hand through his hair, brushing out stray snowflakes that hadn’t melted away yet.

“You know, it was actually Adrien who told me you were here tonight,” she admitted shyly.

“Remind me to buy Chat Noir a drink,” he muttered, and she laughed again and took his hand, lacing their fingers together as she did to lead him back inside.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #mlb fic #lukanette #Pro LukaMari #lukanette endgame #endgame lukanette #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #lbsc sprint fic challenge #panda sprints

[jamiemackenziefraser]

All That Was Fair

Chapter 34: Ghost of the Garden

Summary: The final chapter of Arc II

Read on AO3

Read chp 34 on tumblr below the cut

Previous, master list, next

Chapter 34: Ghost of the Garden 

***

The garden reminded him of her in the best and worst way. At least going outside to the tranquility of the Scottish dreich— overcast sky and wind whipping at his face— made him feel something. The garden was supposed to be hers. Jamie was hopeless with plants; he killed nearly everything that required his care. But his lass— his sweet wife— she had known exactly how to make the plants grow and thrive with life. 

Just like she’d done to him. 

Only without her, the garden was as barren as Jamie himself. 

Sitting down next to the depressing patch of earth, Jamie buried his hands into the dirt. He clutched at it, curling his fingers around the mud as if it were his wife herself to which he was holding on. Distantly, he felt hot tears streaking their way down his face. 

He couldn’t help it when he thought of her. 

Jamie couldn’t even remember why he’d come out here. Maybe it was to feel close to her. But now all he felt was that terrible longing that tore him limb from limb. He ached to hold her again. He cursed himself for squandering the time they’d had. The warmth of her body in his arms was now nothing more than a fading memory that left him closing his eyes against the sharp sting of the past. 

The one thing he couldn’t bring himself to regret was marrying her. Because now, during his lowest moments, when all he had was the dirt under his fingernails to hold on to, he could say softly to himself... “my wife.” 

Bringing a sleeve up to swipe at his tears, Jamie took a deep breath. Repeating “wife,” in his mind like a mantra, he picked up the spade he had brought with him. 

“For my wife,” he murmured as he broke the ground. 

***

Jamie worked for hours on the garden. He tore up the weeds, added potting soil, planted his seeds, and gave them water. Finally, he sat back, looking at the bare patch of ground that would hopefully one day be bursting with life. 

He made a promise to himself— or to her, he wasn’t entirely certain, because it was for her that he made the promise— that he would continue on long enough to see the garden flourish. In her memory. 

And if it took him the rest of his days, he would keep trying. At least he could pretend he was doing one last thing for her. 

Tears were rolling down his cheeks again. It was funny, he never seemed to notice when he started crying these days. He simply became aware after the fact. His body was just so used to living in a constant state of grief that it didn’t think to notify him when the tears actually escaped instead of saying trapped inside. 

He was standing. He’d meant to go inside. But at this fresh wave of tears, he sat down heavily on the ground again. Burying his face in his dirty palms, he let the sobs out. He cried until his insides hurt. 

God, lass. I miss ye so much I can hardly breathe. 

He found himself doing that more and more— talking to her ghost. The memory of her that would haunt him for the rest of his days. 

But he’d never seen her before. Not until he looked up in the moment, through his tears, and imagined her walking toward him across the moor. Clothed in her white dress, the very one he’d sent her away in, his vision was the image of perfection. Her curls blew in the wind, whipping around her head. Although she was too far away from him to see her face, he’d imagined she was wearing a smile. Damn his fantasies for not being closer. Even so, it was probably fitting that she was that far out of reach. 

Only when he blinked, she was still there. Coming closer. He shook his head and looked again. The image drew closer still. 

His heart beating wildly in his chest, Jamie shot to his feet. He swayed a little, the blood rushing to his head, but he didn’t once take his eyes off the ethereal vision. 

The second he was standing, the figure broke out into a run toward him.  

Oh Christ. 

Oh Good Lord in Heaven. 

It was her. 

It was really her. 

Claire. 

Jamie didn’t have time to feel. He didn’t have time to think. His feet were taking off, carrying him in the fastest sprint of his life. 

He didn’t have time to question whether he was losing his mind. He simply knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was her, in the same way he’d known she was not human the first time he’d laid eyes on her or known they were meant to be together. He couldn’t question what he knew to be true. He simply needed to go to her. His body commanded him when his brain had completely shut down. And so he went, pumping his legs with all his might. 

It was almost like awareness blinked out. He could see her running faster, coming closer, but everything in the world stopped until the very moment when she crashed into him. 

Her body. Real. alive. Knocking him flat on his back. 

All the air whooshed out of his lungs as he hit the ground, her body on top of him adding to the impact. 

But then her mouth was covering his and the breath was knocked out of him for an entirely different reason. 

Everything about her consumed him. Her lips on his, kissing as if her life depended on it. Her body spread down the length of his— soft and small and real and alive. Her gasping breaths that she took against his lips. Her soft cry of “Jamie,” into his mouth. The wetness of her tears against his face.

He couldn’t breathe let alone answer her. His hands had come up around her, holding on for dear life. He kissed her with all his soul and every ounce of life in his body. 

When his brain finally caught up enough, her name fell from his lips in what was nearly a whimper. “Claire?” 

She withdrew her lips for long enough to nod, gazing down on him with those whisky eyes that made him feel like he would combust. 

“Yes, Jamie,” she gasped out, nodding her head earnestly.

A cry tore from Jamie’s throat and then they were kissing again, their mouths clashing in passion and longing and tenderness all at the same time. 

He broke them apart just long enough to muster a bewildered— but very, very grateful— “ye’re here?” 

She shook her head this time, her smile spreading over her features and warming Jamie to the very marrow of his bones. 

“I’m here. I’ll explain later. Please, just kiss me.”

And so he did. He shot up to a sitting position, taking Claire with him so he could hold her astride his lap. He took her whole body in his arms, enveloping her as much as he could possibly manage, and then he kissed her for all he was worth. 

He poured every ounce of heartbreak he’d experienced over the last three weeks into the kiss, finding his heart shattered still but mending with every press of her lips, every wee sound she made into his mouth, and the way her hands tugged at his curls and roamed over his body as if she couldn't get enough of touching him. 

His faerie. 

Home.

Nothing felt more right than holding her safe in his arms again. Buzzing with life and holding him back just as fiercely. 

His breath hitched in his lungs as he tried to draw in air, his body reeling from the emotion coursing through his veins. One person probably shouldn’t have experienced this much joy following such intense grief. It shouldn’t have been possible. He felt like he was about to have a stroke; he was so deliriously happy. He felt like he was floating, disembodied yet experiencing everything so acutely. 

“I love you,” tore from his throat and was caught by her mouth. 

That had been the last thing he’d said to her. Those three words were the most important he could ever say. He would repeat them so long as she was there to hear him and there was breath in his lungs. 

His hand was gripping tightly in her hair, and he used his hold to gently tear her away from his lips so he could lock eyes with her. Pouring out his heart, he repeated, “Christ, Claire. I’ve been dying. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she said, a tear tracking down her cheek in a perfect line. 

He shook his head doggedly and immediately brought his hand up to brush it away. 

“Please, mo ghraidh. No tears. As long as ye’re in my arms, there isnae room for tears.” 

“I’m crying because I’m happy, Jamie,” she whispered, a breathless laugh accompanying her watery smile. 

“Oh God, Claire. I’ve never been happier.” 

He kissed her again. Just like the first time she’d kissed him, her mouth made him feel grounded and uprooted all at once. He was so incredibly lost in her. The reality of her presence and her love filled his senses until nothing existed except her. 

Claire broke free of his lips with a muffled “Hey. I thought you said no tears.” 

Both of her hands came up to cup his cheeks and her thumbs bushed away tears he hadn’t even realized were wetting his face.

He chuckled breathlessly and reached for her face as well to wipe away the moisture there. 

“Alright. Maybe that rule starts tomorrow, then.” 

As the word tomorrow left his lips, fear suddenly seized his gut, making his blood run cold. He stiffened and tried to steel himself enough to force out the question that could potentially rip him from the inside out. “Ye are… ye’ll be here tomorrow… aye?” he asked, failing to keep the tremor from his voice. 

“Yes, Jamie,” Claire breathed, “I’ll be here today, tomorrow, and the rest of your days. If ye’ll have me?” Her voice raised at the end in question.  

Jamie wasted no time in answering, his voice heavy with reverence, “Of course I’ll have you. My wife.”

When his mind made it past the earth-shattering immediacy of her, beyond the sorrow of the past month, and finally beyond the satisfaction of calling her wife, he suddenly remembered with acute and heartbreaking clarity why he’d sent her back through the stones in the first place. Christ, how had he forgotten? The memory came crashing down on him with unbearable gravity, freezing him once again. 

“Oh Christ,” he tore away from her like he’d been bitten, “oh God, Claire, ye canna be here. Ye canna stay, ye’ll die. I willna see ye wasting away again, I canna bear it. Ye have to go back. Ye—“

“Jamie,” Claire spoke his name with a serenity mixed with what was nearly a chuckle as she cut off the frantic stream of words. When he still looked at her wildly, clutching her as if she’d turn to dust, she repeated, more sternly this time, “Jamie. I figured out how I can stay on this plane.” 

Jamie stopped his frantic motions where he’d been pawing at her sides like he could pull her into himself. 

“What? How—“ 

Claire gestured to her chest, and only then did Jamie’s eyes flick down and take in the sight of a large opal resting on a golden chain. It was about the size of a newborn’s fist, pearly white with streaks of color running through it. Ethereal and otherworldly, just like Claire herself. 

“It’s a long story. Please, Jamie. I— I’ve been so lonely and so heartbroken without you that I felt I must surely die. I just… I want to feel you.” 

He could never say no to her before, so he never even stood a chance against the request made with such pleading from within those teary eyes. Jamie felt exactly the same— like if they stopped touching for even a moment then the reality of the situation would be ripped away. 

“You can touch me now,” he breathed. 

Tightening his arms around her where she sat in his lap, Jamie crushed her to his chest. He ran his hands up and down her back— caressing or simply feeling, he didn’t know— until his hands came up to frame her face. Holding her between his palms, he brought his lips slowly back to capture hers. 

They sat there for a long time, alone on the moor save the presence of the wind and the strength of their love that seemed to hum around them. The world that had been so empty only minutes before was now bursting with life. 

Still, a prickle of unease crawled its way into the back of his mind, interrupting his unfathomable joy. He couldn’t stand to let the perfection of her be ruined by his worries. Reluctantly, he drew back again, Claire whining and chasing his lips as he did. 

“As much as I didna think I could ever refuse to kiss ye, I’m afraid I canna rest until I hear the whole story and ken ye’re safe. Will ye come inside?” The question was a bit shy, almost hesitant. As if there were some small part of him afraid she would say no. 

“Yes,” she breathed, with such solemnity it was as if she was agreeing to spend her life with him. And really, she was. 

His wife. 

Extricating herself from him and managing to get her legs back underneath her, Claire stood from his lap. Jamie scrambled up beside her just as she was starting to turn to look in the direction of the house. 

Feeling unsettled again, Jamie lowered his eyes and stepped up toward her side as his heartbeat thundered in his chest. 

“Hold my hand?” he requested, fixing his beseeching gaze on her, “I think I may die if I let ye go even for a moment.” 

It was true. If they weren’t touching, he felt like she’d dissolve in front of him and send him catapulting back into the hollow darkness. 

“Jamie Fraser, if I had it my way, I’d never let go for even a second,” she said, her smile wide and so sweet it made Jamie’s knees go rubbery and banished the lingering disquiet in his heart. It was like a key fitting into a lock inside him to see his smile. His whole being seemed to breathe a sigh. 

There was his faerie. 

Even before he’d left her, she’d been too weak to be her usual self. But seeing her— playful and clingy and so endearing all at once— made him want to fall to his knees and give thanks to the Lord. He certainly would, he already was, but for now, he’d stay on his feet and take Claire inside. 

She slipped her hand into his before he’d even finished thinking all this. Her wee palm slotted into his, where it fit so perfectly. Two halves of one whole. Too long had his hand been empty. 

Every little thing she did felt monumental to his tortured soul. 

They walked side by side toward the house, quiet as both of them came to terms with the immensity of their emotions. 

But just before they reached the door, Jamie suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He pulled Claire to a stop next to him before she could take another step. 

“Wait,” he said. 

Abruptly, he leaned down and scooped Claire up off her feet and into his arms. She laughed in surprise, and her arms came around his neck to hold on. 

“Jamie, I’m fine,” she laughed, “I’m perfectly capable of walking—”

He looked down at her, his smile growing with every passing second. 

“I ken,” he said, feeling like his heart was going to burst. “It’s jes’ a human tradition. The first time a husband and wife step foot in their home, the husband carries his bride over the threshold.”

Claire looked nearly wrecked by this as her lips turned down in a smile that was so full of emotion she couldn't even contain it. 

“Oh,” she said softly, “well. Carry on, then, husband.” 

Hearing that word from her lips had the power to make him drop her, only she was far too precious cargo for that. Finding his footing both physically and emotionally, Jamie managed to take the few steps forward and cross the threshold. Bringing his new wife home. 

***

They laid face-to-face in bed, Jamie tracing the lines of Claire’s face. He was absolutely fixated. What had only been a dream and a painful memory to him for the last month was right there in front of him, bathed in the soft light of his lamp and smiling like her heart was in her lips. Jamie could stare at her for hours— would even, before the day was done— and he couldn’t stop touching her. He’d trace over her skin until his fingers were convinced of its reality, and then he’d do it some more. 

“Alright, lass. Please, tell me the story?” 

Claire, stubborn as ever, leaned in to press a peck to his lips before she settled in to explain. 

“When I woke up… after…” she had to swallow barely five words into her account, “I thought I was dead. Only it was worse. I tried to get back to the stones. Jamie, I was ready to come back.” 

At this moment, Jamie started to protest, feeling like his guts were being torn out, but Claire stopped him with a shake of her head. “But fate had other plans. Because even as I crawled toward the stones, I lost consciousness again. When I woke the second time, I was with another fae. He’d taken me away from that place.” 

Jamie’s eyes widened, and he felt his heart start to beat faster despite the fact that she lay there next to him, safe and sound. 

“I had never met him before, but somehow he seemed to know things. I must have babbled about you in my delirium, because he knew your name. He knew… he knew I loved you and lost you. He was patient but firm as I begged and pleaded for him to take me back to the stones.”

Claire took a deep breath, the pain she had been through shining in her eyes. “When I was well enough to speak, he asked me to tell him the story. So I did. I didn’t have anything left to lose, I just let it all out. When I had finished everything, he finally explained who he was.” 

“His name was Ottertooth. I still don’t know why he was helping me. Best I could figure, he had a fascination with the stones, maybe even with the human plane. I think... “ she took a breath, “I think maybe I was an experiment to him. He told me that there was a way to exist in the human realm. A stone that could connect me to the energy of our plane.”

Jamie perked up at this, eyeing the stone around her neck with gratitude and budding hope. 

“He took me across the land to a cave. One he called Abandawe. It was there that I would find the stone. Only… it didn’t come free.” She lowered her eyes, as if hesitating over whether she wanted to tell him the next part, so he prompted her with a gentle, “it’s alright. Tell me.” 

“To come here, to the human plane, I had to be marked. I… I had to give something up.” 

Jamie felt his blood turn to ice. He sat up as Claire did, but remained rooted in place and she turned around. She dropped the straps of her dress and shrugged the back lower. 

He couldn’t manage to stifle the gasp that rose inside him at the sight. Her beautiful, delicate wings bore three stripes each, deep gashes that had since turned black, marring their perfection. They were like claw marks, branding her. As if drawn by some invisible force, Jamie reached out and traced just above one gash, feeling his heartbeat in his throat. 

“It’s a mark, nothing more. It shows I am an outcast,” she said, voice nonchalant, “That was the sacrifice, you see. To get the stone and the ability to remain for good on the human plane, I had to renounce my own realm. Give up my place among the fair folk. But it was a small price to pay for this stone.” Her words were light, and Jamie didn’t doubt the truth of her heart, but he knew that it had not been a “small price.” Not in the least. 

Claire continued on before he could say anything. “I laid in pain for days afterward, but it was nothing compared to how I felt before… before I had hope of returning to you.” 

Jamie let out a whine of distress. He could imagine her, those perfect wings lying crumpled and leaving her in agony. 

For him. 

“And that was that. I had the stone then. As soon as I could get to my feet, I made my way back to the standing stones. I made it through, and when I woke up on the other side, I couldn’t waste any time. I started walking and walking. And, well… you know the rest.” 

She turned back to him then, readjusting the straps of her dress and giving him a reassuring smile. 

Jamie couldn’t find words, but his heart broke. “Christ, Claire. I’m so sorry. Yer wings… Yer people…” 

A hand on his face cut him off. It was a tender touch, loving, but it left no room for his argument. 

“I told you, Jamie. I paid the price happily. And I would do it a thousand times over to be with you.” 

Jamie had no idea what to say. Tears beaded at his eyes, and he had to inhale sharply. 

“I’m… I’m so verra grateful that ye came back, Claire,” he finally managed, his eyes shining. He knew she wasn’t looking for thanks, but in the light of her sacrifice, he couldn’t let it go unsaid. 

“I’m so grateful I was given the chance,” Claire breathed in response. 

Jamie leaned in close, resting his forehead against hers and letting out a sigh. He held himself back to kissing her— from losing himself again in her nearness and affection. Instead, he asked, “so, as long as ye wear this gem, ye’ll be connected to yer realm? Ye’ll draw energy from it so ye can remain here?” 

Claire nodded against his forehead. “We can be together.” 

Jamie swallowed, hard. But this time, it wasn’t heartache or guilt choking his airways. It was her words— paired with the sight of the dress that had been her wedding dress slung low on her body— that brought desire coursing through every vein. 

He placed his hand around the back of her neck and drew her in so he could kiss her. Their lips melded together and her hands seemed to travel everywhere over his chest and back and shoulders. He sighed into her mouth before he pulled back to look her in the eyes. Her pupils were blown wide, turning the whisky color to only a thin ring. They held a dreamy look, glazed with longing. 

There was one thing on both of their minds. 

There scarcely could have been otherwise. 

They had been deprived of a wedding night. But here they were. Lying face to face in bed. Man and wife. 

“I love ye, Claire. And I meant what I told ye before I sent ye back. I love ye with all my heart and soul, and I promise I willna ever stop,” he breathed, edging closer. 

“I never got to tell you…” her breath hitched as he leaned in and began to trail kisses along her jaw, “you’re my everything. I love you. Jamie, I love you more than I ever thought possible to love another. And I promise you the same. Nothing will ever change that.” 

“Ye did tell me, Claire. Ye sacrificed yer people and endured so much— for me. And ye’re here.” 

Their eyes met, and matching shudders overtook them. With extreme tenderness, Jamie reached down and placed both of their wrists together, twining his hand around her arm just as he had that day when they were handfast. 

And all at once, it seemed the vows they had made could truly be fulfilled.

Two hearts became one. 

Two lives became one. 

And two forevers became one. 

Words seemed to have reached an end, and they were anxious to be near each other— body and soul, close in every way possible. 

They came together with tender touches and whispered words of love. All the sorrow was soothed in each other's arms. And with her, Jamie finally became whole. 

As they lay together afterward, basking in the nearness of each other, Jamie couldn’t help but keep leaning forward for more gentle kisses. 

“I love you. Now and forever,” he poured his heart out with the simple words.  

“You are my forever, Jamie Fraser,” she breathed. 

“And ye’re mine.” 

All that was left was to decide what to do with the eternity they’d been granted.  

***

To be continued...

A/n: IMPORTANT please read: This sounded like an ending but I promise it’s not! I want to tell you about what they decide to do with forever, so there is so much more story to come. I will be going on a hiatus for a number of weeks, but please please stick around. I’ll probably give status updates on my tumblr and my twitter @jamiemackfraser when I return, and if you’re subscribed to the story on AO3 then you won’t miss anything. (I’m guessing mid/late July I'll be back?)

After my hiatus, there will be a couple of “ficlets”, basically some scattered stories that take place between arc II and III, and then arc III will pick up. But don’t worry, it’ll all be right here in this work so it’s easy to find!

Finally, I like to post a bit of commentary after each arc. You can find it on my tumblr. It has some interesting tidbits and I hope you’ll check it out. Thank you so very much for reading, all you lovely people, and I’ll see you in a little while! <3

***

Next

[13uswntimagines]

Together (USWNT x Reader)

Request: team x reader where r gets hurt (needs crutches) during practice and the team is of course really worried for her and r stops eating and is upset and takes it out on the team the rest of camp (because she doesn’t think she can make it back in time for Tokyo) but it gets resolved after reader is crying and team is there to comfort her? (maybe some christen x reader) could you also do at the end where the reader either gets named to the roster/ the first game since injury?

You stared unseeingly at the hotel room ceiling, the doctor's words rolling endlessly through your mind. It was an accident, you knew that and you still loved Ali, but the situation fucking sucked. It wicked that her tackle had been late. It sucked that your ankle had gone in the opposite direction of your body. It really sucked that you had needed surgery to fix the compound fracture that had resulted in the collision. And it Really Really fucking sucked that you would “be lucky to walk without a limp for the rest of your life, much less run around on a field,”. 

You were only 22, and the doctor had basically but a death sentence on your career. The only reason you hadn’t been sent home was that your team moms Kelley and Alex hadn’t made the argument that there was no one there to take care of you. It would have been easier if they had let you leave. Then at least you would have more time to figure out how to tell them that you were never going to play soccer again. 

A knock sounded from the hotel room door, and you glanced at it for a few seconds, before retiring your attention to counting the texture in the ceiling, contemplating what the fuck you were supposed to do with the rest of your life. 

The knocking stopped for a second, before starting up louder. Maybe if you didn’t respond, they would think you were asleep and leave you alone. You didn’t want visitors right now anyway. No one else deserved to have the rest of their camp ruined with your sour mood. You needed to make them hate you so it wouldn’t hurt as much when you left. When they stopped talking to you because you weren’t useful anymore. When you lost the only family you had ever had. 

But the telltale click of the door lock told you that the women would not be so easily deterred. You didn’t bother to look at the women as they slid into bed beside you, Kelley on your left and Alex on your right. 

“What ya looking at kiddo?” Kelley asked, nudging your shoulder softly. 

“Just thinking,” You shrugged, your eyes never leaving the ceiling, even as Alex drew circles on your cheeks with her fingers, sharing worried looks with Kelley. Their little ray of sun was even more cloudy than it had been when they left earlier. One of them should have stayed with you. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Alex asked, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, trying to coax you to finally look at her. 

You bite your lip, your eyebrows furrowing as you try to get the words past the lump in your throat. 

“I can’t play,” 

You could practically feel Alex’s eye roll at the statement. And you frowned. She didn’t understand that this wasn’t just a temporary thing. 

“Don’t worry about that right now sweetie. Just worry about getting better,” She murmured, using a careful finger to tilt your head so you were making eye contact with her. You stared into her concerned blue eyes, praying that she couldn’t see just how much pain you were in. She didn’t need that burden. 

“Yeah ducky, just work on getting better and you’ll be tearing up the field with us again in no time,” Kelley added, propping her head on your shoulder. You rolled your eyes, nodding slightly. 

Normally they would have attacked you with tickles to get you to smile, but this time they didn’t. They simply sat up and offered you their hands. Even they had given up on you already, what was going to happen when they found out that you were useless to them now. 

“Now, dinners ready and you already skipped lunch today,” Alex said softly as you stared at their hands in discontent. 

“Wasn’t hungry,” You grumbled. The truth was that you didn’t want to confront your new reality. You wanted to stay in your little bubble and pretend that everything was going to work out fine. 

“Sure you weren’t,” Kelley laughed, growing tired of your resistance to them, and grabbing your shoulder to force you into a sitting position. 

“What we mean is that you’re not getting out of it,” Alex shot Kelley a disapproving look, but helped Kelley hoist you up. Her forehead wrinkled when you didn’t laugh at their antics, and instead just crossed your arms. 

“I hate you guys,” You huffed, pouting. 

“No you don’t, now, up you get,” Kelley laughed, kissing your cheek. 

“I can do it myself,” You hissed once you were sitting upright. You grabbed your crutches and forced yourself to your feet. The crutches rubbed uncomfortably against your ribs, but you ignored it. You didn’t need any more help. You didn’t need to give them any more reason to leave you. 

“Stubborn as always,” Kelley sighed, opening the door for you, and you held in your groan. They probably wouldn’t even miss you. 

The ride to the dining room was spent in uncomfortable silence. Neither woman quite sure how to broach the subject of your foul mood. 

“Hey gimpy, need help with your plate,” Ashlyn smiled, clapping you on the shoulder and nearly knocking you over. Kelley glared at her, reaching out a hand to steady you. 

“I got it,” You grumbled, shrugging off their steadying hands and beginning to maneuver yourself towards the food table. You didn’t want to eat (what was the point) but if you didn’t, they would make an even bigger deal than they already were. 

They watched you struggle for a moment, trying to balance a plate and hobble along the food table. Ali sighed, standing and making her way over to you.

“I’ll help you, this is my fault after all,” she said softly, grabbing the plate before you dumped its contents onto the floor by accident. 

“I said I got it,” You huffed, looking away from the woman, frowning as Christen joined you. God, you weren’t a child. You could get a plate of food by yourself. Ignoring the good intentions of your crush, you ground your teeth toge

“Is this all you’re going to eat? You need to keep your strength up kid,” Kelley scoffed at your choice of three dinosaur nuggets. 

“Like it matters now? I can’t play so what’s the point,” You grumbled, ripping the plate out of Ali’s hand and struggling to the closest seat. Christen sat down heavily beside you, followed by Ali, Ash, Kelley and Alex. 

“I’m sorry Y/n,” Ali whispered. It killed her to see you so distraught. To know that she was the reason you were so upset. 

You glanced up from your nuggets, making eye contact with the woman. You took note of the pained crinkles by her eyes. She didn’t have a right to be in pain. You were the one who just had their future destroyed. 

“I know,” You shrugged halfheartedly, playing with your nuggets rather than eating them. 

“You sound super convincing,” Ashlyn rolled her eyes. 

“Well, what would you like me to say?” You snipped back, quirking your eyebrow up at her. 

“We’re not your enemy babe,” Christen soothed, rubbing you back. 

“I know I’m just-.” You huffed, shaking your head frustratedly. What were you? You were angry, sad, a complete and total washout now. What was the point? You paused, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. To do what needed to be done. It would hurt less in the end. “I’m tired and not hungry and I just wanna go to bed,” You finished, staring down at your untouched nuggets. Your hands fidgeted in your lap for a second before you reached for your crutches. 

Your fingertips brushed the dreaded walking device at the wrong angle, sending it crashing to the ground. Just like your dreams. You shoved your plate away, leaning as far as you could in your chair to retrieve the crutch, only for the other one to join it on the floor. You glared at the items, oblivious to the worried mother hens watching you fall apart over being unable to get them on your own. 

It was Christen who took potty on you, lifting the crutches off the floor and presenting them to you. “Let me help you,” she smiled sadly, and you grit your teeth. Your cheeks flamed red as you grabbed the items. 

“Aw kid, don’t feel bad, we all need a little help sometimes,” Ashlyn smiled kindly. The rage and embarrassment boiled inside you. They didn’t fucking get it. 

“Im not a fucking invalid. I don’t need your fucking help. I don’t need these or anything else,” You growled, throwing your crutch across the room and into the food fable with a crash, the other on suffering the same fate as you forced yourself to stand. Pain shot down your leg, but you ignored it, determined to prove to them all that you could do it yourself. 

The room sat in stunned silence. They knew you were upset, but you had never ever lashed out like this before. 

Christen was the first person to jump into action. She held her hands out as she approached you, as if you were a wounded puppy she needed to show she meant no harm. 

“Babe, don’t, you’ll just make it worse and if you ever wanna come back..-“ she tried softly, wrapping her arm under your armpit in an attempt to prevent you from putting weight on your injured foot. You shrugged her off, taking a bold (and excruciatingly painful step forward). What was the point. You would never see the pitch again anyway. 

“You just don’t fucking get it so you? I’ll never ever get to come back. That sloppy tackle made it so I’ll be lucky to walk normally again, much less kick a fucking ball,” You spat, tears finally making their way down your face. 

You could feel the weight of the teams putting gaze. The heaviness that filled the room, like a wave of realization crashing over them. You kept your eyes on the floor, you hand clenching and unclenching around nothing, eating for them to disown you. For the next logical step to happen. 

“Y/n,” Ali started, tears evident in her voice, but your venomous scowl stopped her. “I’m fucking useless now, so just fucking drop it, alright?!” 

You attempted to take another step, using the chair as support, and forcing yourself forward. You nearly collapsed as your full weight landed on your very injured foot. You were stubborn, and you were determined to give them a reason for you to stay. You wobbled, nearly keeling over from the pain, gritting your teeth to stop the anguished cry from threatening to spill out. 

You pulled yourself back upright, about to take another step away from the chair supporting you, but soft calming hands on your shoulders stopped you. “Y/n Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself, more, and then we’ll have even bigger odds to beat,” Christen murmured into your ear, hugging you back into her chest and supporting your weight as she sat back into a chair and pulled you into her lap.  

“Yeah kid, fuck what the doctors say. You’re amazing and so stubborn that I dare them to try and keep you down,” Kelley added, coming to kneel in front of you, her hand in your knee. 

“Plus you’ve got all of us behind you, no matter what,” Alex said, coming up behind her. A sob ripped from your throat. That was your greatest fear. That they would leave you. Your family only tolerated you when they wanted something when you were successful, so you thought your soccer family would feel the same. 

“You promise?” You asked softly. 

“Absolutely kid,” Alex and Kelley said together firmly. You nodded and allowed the women to hold you as you cried. You would all get through this. Together. 

*****

You bounced lightly on your feet, cracking your neck as you waited for the match to start. There had been a tremendous amount of time and effort put into this moment. Hours upon hours of rehab, soccer training and therapy, but here you were in the starting 11 for the Olympic finals. 

“You ready baby?”  Christen hummed, her arms wrapping around you, kissing your cheek before resting her chin on your shoulder. 

You smiled, grabbing her hand. The woman had been instrumental in your recovery, and though it had taken you an embarrassingly, long time to ask her out, you had sacked up. You loved the woman so much that it scared you, and now she was your girlfriend (bum leg or not). “Always baby,” 

You had come a long way, and you had so much further to go. You would win like you always did. Together. 

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #christen press imagine #christen press x reader

[mirrorforevers]

heavenly nobodies (or “the fog”) • graham/reader

this is a bit heavier than usual, ladies. proceed w caution. tw for mentions of abusive relationships, drug abuse and reader has no self-esteem at all. nothing too descriptive in that sense though

on a lighter note, reader n graham are basically two lost adults acting like petty children

a quick disclaimer: its not my intention in *any way* to glorify or romanticize drug abuse or basically anything any of these characters do - its messed up shit. this is fiction, don't take it seriously, please

if this fic was a song, even though its titled after a lush song, it would be lark by angel olsen i guess. might have a sequel someday i dunno

+18, as always. contains smut. this is sososososo long and has went through so many rewrites im sorry. but i do think its my best fic yet!

set in the mid 90s

word count: 3.780

You still remember the day it began.

A nasty fight took place between Graham and Alex. You only got involved because your relationship became one of the topics of the heated debate. Long story short, Graham basically screamed at you two that you, Y/N, were wasting your life away by dating someone like James.

At first you were blind with rage and defended your decadent relationship while insulting Coxon until your throat burned from the screaming match, but afterwards, after you caught yourself thinking a little too long about how James' eyes sometimes seemed to hover over you with an indifference Coxon's never, ever showed, and how it hurt to see Alex in the arms of an entire sea of more attractive women than you - and how shallow you've become for even trying to excuse his behavior with something as empty as the fact you weren't as stereotypically beautiful as the other girls he screwed, you noticed something wasn't quite right about the entire situation, but you still felt shivers at the prospect of telling him you were sorry. He also had a lot to apologize for.

The fog. That's what's been messing with your mind lately. And Graham's. And everyone else's.

It's hard to think about things clearly as they happen in your life when all you feel during most of it is hedonistic, empty bliss. Everything moves in slow motion. The regret, the harsh words, always come afterwards, like a sudden car crash, after people realize the very real consequences of what they said and done while they were immersed in their own very temporary, elusive, pleasures. The fog also made you bitter - not only you, but Graham, Alex and the other boys as well; your relationship with them as a group of friends and individually, each in a different way, consequently turned into a toxic, resentful mess of chaotic feelings and unresolved conflicts. Your relationship with Graham was by far the most affected.

You grew up together. You went to the same college. You very briefly had a thing. He drew you lots and lots of times, you haven't lost a drawing. You realized you didn't love him like *that* and he was okay with it. You were still as close as ever.

Then you met his other friends. In the beginning, he was so excited about this whole "band" thing. The boys were funny, compelling, undoubtedly hard to deal with sometimes, but you got them quickly. Their music very gradually became successful - they deserved it. They sounded so good together. You noticed Graham was a bit jealous of how you interacted with the other boys sometimes. Damon and Dave were the first ones who tried (hard) to bed you, but Alex, effortlessly, was the one who got to.

One night turned into two, three, fifteen. Then into a fucked up prototype of a relationship around the time their stages got bigger, more packed with screaming teenagers and all of you met her – heroin. Graham got proportionally and gradually more distressed and anxious each day. You didn't know which one of these things disturbed him the most, after all, he didn't speak to you (or anyone, for fuck's sake) like he used to. Thousands of little things began to intercalate and swallow everything you've built together.

You've started to hate him - he refused to speak to you about what was bothering him, and you barely talked outside of the inevitable circumstances. Meanwhile, Alex dragged you even deeper into his questionable lifestyle and you shrinked into it until you could pretend it fit you like a glove. You felt so small. Invisible to everything and everyone who truly mattered, even to yourself. You tried to reach out to the one who mattered most plenty of times, but every time you tried to reach out to him it would end up in screams and even more resentment. It seemed like there was no way back - he hated you as well because he thought you were just like Alex. It felt like a knife was twisted in your stomach when he said it the first time. You pretended it didn't hurt the other ones - those were the nights your binges were the worst and you'd vomit yourself to sleep, though.

Everything was leading you to one of those nights again, until you heard a knock on your door. At this time of night, it was definitely Alex.

You tried to tidy yourself up as much as you could in a matter of a few minutes. You thought you weren't as effortlessly beautiful as the other women in his life - as if cheating had something to do with appearance and not with his character, but oh well - and you felt like you had to at least try to keep up with their pace. You washed your face, smeared some foundation on some old stretch (and track) marks and tried to pretend his presence was the brightest spot on your day. He disguised so much criticism under the pretense of worry, leaving you feeling so bad about yourself, but you needed his approval like you needed air on your lungs (or opioids on your veins) for some reason you couldn't quite explain.

You open the door, holding your breath while you tried to ignore the pit that grew on your stomach just to find out that...

"Graham?" You were simultaneously relieved and revolted to see him on your door. Adrenaline ran through your veins. You didn't realize how afraid you were of him - you've only hurt one another with words, but still, you were afraid to cross eyes with him just because you felt like it would start another fight and you would simply never speak to each other ever again, not even to fight. You were afraid of how deep your friendship has corroded.

He was visibly hurting, just like you. It comforted and hurt you to see it.

"You were waiting for him, weren't you?" He noted, vaguely motioning towards the lipstick on your lips. You felt pathetic.

"What are you doing here?" You quickly wiped the lipstick off your lips while he looks around, not really knowing what to answer. His eyes, puffy, somehow indicated he wasn't there to say he was sorry. At that point, you didn't even cared who was in the wrong. You just wanted to know why he was there.

"Just came here to tell you that... I'm leaving Blur, and... I'll be moving to Germany with a friend. Tomorrow."

"What kind of joke is this?"

"I wanted to tell you because... I felt like we got so used to each other's presence t-that... even if you're relieved by the news, uh, I think you should know in advance."

There was no mischief in his eyes. There was no point in joking with something like that. It's not like you were comfortable enough with each other to joke with each other nowadays anyway. That realization crushed you and anchored you to the very confusing and tragic reality just laid out in front of you.

It was so uncharacteristic. You knew of his tendency to run away from these types of situations and this time he simply didn't. Your mouth refused to close. "I-I don't understand. You... You can't... You can't just do that. You have a fucking gig tomorrow!"

"I won't justify myself to you. Just... take care of yourself and... don't let that leech suck the life out of you more than he already did."

"You don't understand. You don't understand anything. Is this about him? Again?" In yet another wave of adrenaline, you pulled him inside your flat and he just lets you. "Are you moving to bloody Germany because of what went on between us today?!"

"I don't care that you don't love me. I care that I can't go for a fucking day without seeing you waste away your life with him. If he was someone that made you happy... but he's just killing you. I can't deal with that."

Still in shock, you pulled him in a desperate kiss. It was not an attempt of making him stay, but something else entirely new. He had to say he was leaving so you could really know, in a matter of a few seconds, how much you needed him there.

His reciprocity simultaneously broke your heart and filled it with hope - you knew how far your relationship with Alex went and how tough it would be to break free from the chains he's got your heart tangled in, but at the same time, Coxon kissed you in a way no one else ever did. He loved you like no one else could. And that's how you noticed how easily you clinged to any sign of true affection given how much Alex's been neglecting your emotional and physical needs lately. Everything was about him all the time, it was a monologue. Graham and you had a conversation.

(A conversation that lasted all night. Thankfully, Alex didn't show up. He must've been talking to someone else.)

Instead of sweet nothings and love confessions, funnily enough, you and Graham exchanged soft "I hate you"s after the deed was done. You both hated the situation you were in. Hated that even though the passion burned hot as fire between you, you were stuck in a mess bigger than everything that just went through both of you. But never each other. You just couldn't name the feeling right.

Perhaps needless to mention, he stayed in the United Kingdom. Instead of sitting and talking like adults about what you felt about each other though, the bickering somehow became even worse.

Of course you started to take his side on fights more often. Mock Alex's behavior together more often. Something definitely changed between the two of you, but it still wasn't enough. Graham was still furious that you wouldn't give up on James. You were still furious that he wouldn't take your relationship with Alex seriously. It had its many faults, yes, but it was special in a way no one else grasped and you were raised to think that people shouldn't give up on others that easily, a convention that no modern deconstruction of social norms could take out of you out of a sudden. Not even Graham. But instead of raising your voices and breaking things around you, you've found other means to release the tension between you. Usually in dark corners of untidy pubs, his flat or yours. It became so frequent it didn't need any planning anymore.

Following the opposite path of the earlier days of your animosity, the more intense the fights got now, the lower your voices got. Instead of distancing yourselves from each other in the middle of screams, your bodies got closer like magnets. He could be so tender somehow even when his words stung like venom.

You were living and breathing contradictions. Him in the way he conveys his hopeless submissiveness to you in the way every touch of yours breaks him and the way he just isn't able to cum if he sees you're not having enough pleasure, yet he fucks you like he wants it to hurt and pretends nothing happened after you're done; and you in the way you cling to him like he's your lifeline when he's deep inside of you but isn't hesitant to not look him in the eye on some other nights.

The night of one of the parties thrown by Blur's record company following the release of The Great Escape wasn't one of the latter.

While the lower floor of the venue is frenetic with people immersed in different levels of ecstasy caused by all sorts of different substances, the upper floor is reserved to the lovers, or people who were looking for a calmer place to talk or to relatively safely de-escalate from their highs. You, on the other hand, just wanted to run away from the view of Alex kissing another woman in the event he brought you to. You were almost falling asleep in one of the tiny, dimly lit and cramped rooms when a small, familiar voice woke you up. "Why aren't you downstairs with your future husband?"

You feel aloof. The slightest mention of the one you think you love disgruntles you. "Ugh. I should have known it was you," you grumble, giving him room to share the sofa with you. "You know why."

"I don't. Someone once told me I don't understand anything." He accepts the offer almost unconsciously. It's so interesting to see how his actions contradict his words and posture, just like your actions contradict yours.

"I'm still right about that. Why did you come here? To mock me?"

"You're lost."

"And so are you. Don’t talk. I don’t want to hear it."

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, calmly, knowing what the answer will be.

It's always a no.

You instinctively move closer to him, as if he's about to disappear in a cloud of dust in any moment. You don't ever want him to leave.

He notices your eyes are glistening when your lips touch, so smoothly and in such a tender way. His hands enter your hair, just below your ears, and you melt at his touch all over again.

The kiss starts out slow, then becomes more and more intense. His tongue slides against yours and you whine, clutching at him like he’s the only thing tethering you to this earth. It becomes so easy to let him settle between your thighs. He runs one of his large hands through your hair, fists it, and pulls your head so he can have easier access to your neck, filling it with open-mouthed kisses. “Why the fuck,” you manage to murmur in between heavy breaths, “do you care so much about me?”

He doesn't answer. His fingers trace the hem of your dress instead, skimming up the side of your leg. You whimper as he moves them over the sensitive skin to the apex of your thighs, his lips finding the side of your throat again. He sucks a mark into your skin just as his thumb caress your core so lightly above your underwear and you whisper, voice trembling with desire: "You're so much better than him."

He's not sure if you're just leading him on, and neither are you. He doesn't even know if he has heard it right. The fog really blurs every line. Reason, feelings, motives. "You never cried over me", he answers, seeking to turn that reality around, it seemed. Your hips buck into his touch, and a moan escapes you when his hand coyly seeks direct contact with your clit, stimulating it with precision from the start. "You truly... don't know shit," you gasp, grinding harder against his touch and losing yourself to his ministrations, the fog of an earlier hit helping in enveloping you in a state of so much bliss.

"Do you want me to lock the door?" His raspy voice takes you out of this world. You nod, a little disappointed by having such a great feeling interrupted for the sake of privacy. Your lips were spit-slick and pinkened, your eyes half lidded. The sight made Graham breathe hard through his nose, but he somehow kept his composure. When he goes to lock the door, you couldn't help noticing the tent you helped build in his jeans. You feel proud of yourself.

He returns with the hungry kisses and eager touches, slowly driving you crazy all over again. His kisses lower down, down... and you pat his shoulders, motioning for him to stop. "I want to make you feel good tonight." He accepts the offer.

You scooch downwards, just above his hips, and you pull his pants and the waistband to his briefs down in one swift motion. He's painfully hard, but that was hardly a surprise. Graham straightens his back just in time to watch you take the reddened head of his cock into your mouth. He claps a hand over his mouth, hips bucking upwards into the wet heat instinctively, your warm breath enveloping his dick and clouding his mind.

Wrapping your fingers around it, you gently jerk him off, slowly sliding your hand from the tip back to the base. He groans, watching you as you fill his senses with a dull warmth. You stare back at him, smiling as he groans at your warm breath.

You run the tip of your index finger tentatively along the underside of his cock, watching with fascination as his cock twitches and reacts to your presence. You lean forward, breathing on the head before planting a soft kiss on the tip. Coxon whimpers, his dick aching from your attention. Tired of the teasing, you begin stroking it, your soft fingers loosely bouncing along his shaft. He leans his head back to the ceiling when you kiss the tip again.

You eye his cock excitedly, before you lean forward and lick his head, swirling your tongue around the crown and flicking it across the tip. His hips thrust forward before you can even react, his mind reeling as your tongue slowly traces along a vein you followed from the head all the way to the base. He groans, and was about to say something when his mind went blank. He sees pure white, his brain shutting down almost completely as you wrap your mouth around the end of his cock and set a steady rhythm to the oral stimulation. His chest rumbles as a deep growl of satisfaction leaves him, shaking through the air, the vibrations in your mouth punctuating his growl with a hiss.

He cracks his eyes open, his glazed eyes staring down to find you staring directly at him. The sight of his rigid cock vanishing between your soft lips made his skin crawl. He groans heavily, grasping your head on instinct and thrusting forward.

You gasp lightly as he shoves himself deeper inside your mouth, pushing against your throat. He moans your name desperately, panting heavily as his hips automatically thrust against you. You stand firm, keeping only the front half of his cock in your mouth, slithering your tongue against the crown and watching intently for his reactions. He was close, his mind firmly on fire as his body reacted on autopilot, trying to extract as much pleasure as possible. He could feel his climax approaching, your soft lips and gentle eyes coaxing him on. You look into his eyes and give an experimental bob of your head, taking him further into your mouth. Feeling the characteristic salty taste of precum on your tongue, you take your mouth off his cock, and before his mind is able to form a cohesive sentence of protest, you take off your underwear and sit on his lap. His hands now squeeze your hip, pulling you closer. Your wetness leaves a bit of a trail on his legs before you sink on his hard, already lubricated cock.

"You're addicted to my cock, aren't you," It's fascinating how Graham's behavior changes when he's drunk. In the best and worst ways. He would never say something like that while sober. You nod in agreement, face flush with arousal and need. "He can't even fuck you," he punctuactes with an especially hard thrust, "like I can." he envelops you in a sort of hug as his broad shoulders and arms now dictate the rhythm you both follow.

"He--c-an't, fuck--"

"Do you think," he takes his entire cock out of you just so he can go even deeper when he says, "he'll hear us... if you say my name out loud?" he smiles when a loud moan escapes your lips, feeling completely in control of your body. You can't even talk anymore, just nod, like a marionette.

"So say it." Another thrust. And another. And another. You follow his pace with your hips religiously, not even slightly ashamed of making the name of the one who's giving you so much pleasure public, as he commanded. You take the last atom of control on your body and direct it to your pussy, clenching your walls tighter around him, an action that successfully tears his thoughts apart, making his eyebrows furrow and his mouth, agape. One of his hands move to the middle of your bodies and, as he looks down at where your bodies meet, begins to stimulate your clit to the rhythm of his thrusts. His groans turn louder when your body moves towards his again, and the sound of your moans, along with the sound of skin against skin and your ragged breaths were the only thing you were able to hear, along with the distant sound of It Could Be You playing in the background.

In a daze, he says your name in that unique way that only he knew how to - like it was part of a prayer and your body was his God(dess). You dig your nails into his back while he fucks you without a trace of mercy. You close your eyes, losing yourself in all those sensations as Graham continued his movements. When he punctuates his now even faster thrusts with a string of "fuck, fuck, fuck" - that's when you know he's close, a suspicion confirmed true as he comes hard inside of you, closing his eyes tightly as he reached his climax. You follow him seconds later.

When he recovers enough to be able to breathe calmly and control his heartbeat, Graham rests his chin on your shoulder. Neither of you say anything for a long time.

And when the spasms of pleasure are gone, Graham's brain decides to go back to work and he realizes what had just happened - again. Suddenly, the sensation of bliss is accompanied by that weird sensation of "What do I do now?". He carefully removes his dick from you and pulls his jeans up, zipping up his pants while you straighten your dress and search for your panties in the middle of the dark. Both without saying a single word.

Graham clears his throat, glancing at the mirror behind the door and seeing his state was deplorable. His face reddened by the heat and his hair a perfect mess. You were in no better situation than him.

“Uh,” Graham said a long time later, breaking the silence. “How long is that arrangement supposed to last?”

"I won't count the time." You responded calmly. 

He nods, mystified by you. 

#graham coxon #graham coxon x reader #graham x reader #britpop #smut #imagine #reader insert #blur #blur band #90s

[bee-kathony]

Embracing the darkness | Alina & the Darkling

"Alina," he said, and I could see that he was fighting with himself, "can I come to you tonight?"

What should have happened if the Darkling visited Alina that night after the party.

The sound of the party carried all the way to my room. I had mingled for another hour, trying to appear as if nothing had just occurred. As if I had not just kissed the Darkling. As if my whole world had not just changed.

My fingers touched my lips softly, remembering the warmth he had radiated. His hands wrapped around my body lit a spark in me. The rush of adrenaline hadn’t left my system, and the only thing I could do now was pace back and forth. The Darkling had asked to come to my room. But I’d given no straight answer before he disappeared.

Would he even come?

I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come. I knew that if he showed up outside of my door, I would be unable to resist him. I should want to push him away — run from him, and find someplace safe. But every cell in my body ached for him. Resisting was futile, because in the end, I would always give in.

Never in my life had I felt more wanted than in his presence. The way he looked at me, like I was the most precious sight he’d ever seen. The Darkling also looked as if it pained him to be near me. It was as if he was fighting something within himself. Making a choice whether or not to allow himself to feel.

Pacing was doing me no good, and so I crossed the large room and peered out the window. People were outside in small groups, lingering. I knew that no one would miss my presence at the party. I had a nice time, I could admit that much at least. However, I did feel like I was playing pretend, and then come morning I would wake up back in reality — a poor girl from Ravka.

The Darkling could have anyone, so why did he kiss me?

If he did come to my room tonight, what would he do? Laugh at my inexperience? Or worse, force me to do something I didn’t want to.

A small laugh left my lips. As if I wouldn’t do anything he said. His power over me was overwhelming. Much as I tried to fight it, it was there. Lurking under my skin. One word from the Darkling and I would be on my knees.

My heart began to race as I thought about the way he would take me in his arms, and press his lips to mine once again.

I wanted him. More than anything.

For years, I had thought about having my first sexual experience with Mal, but it was clear now that he wanted nothing to do with me. Those were just silly fantasies. Of course, the visions I was having now of myself and the Darkling were fantasies, but I hoped they would soon become reality.

Time continued to pass, and as I looked at the clock, I realized another hour had passed. If he wanted to come to my room tonight, then surely he would have come already.

I sighed and walked over to my bed. There was no way I was going to get out of my dress without help, so I resigned to sleeping in it. My feet ached after a long day, and I knew that tomorrow I would go back to training. As I climbed into bed, I tried not to think about the Darkling. I tried not to think about what he was doing at this very moment, or possibly who he was doing it with.

In moments, I was asleep, dreaming of warm embraces and kisses in dark corridors.

++++++

“Alina,” someone whispered and I jolted upright in bed.

The room was covered in darkness, with only a sliver of pale moonlight shining at the end of my bed. A tall figure stood there, and it took everything in me not to scream. Was it him? Had he finally come? Or was this someone else and I was about to be murdered?

I drew forth the light from within me and let it rest in the palm of my hand, illuminating the figure.

“Did I startle you?” The Darkling said quietly, smirking as he bent his head. “That wasn’t my intention, Alina.”

“Don’t you know to knock on a person’s room before entering?”

He had the good sense to look ashamed, but only slightly. The light emanating from my hand cast a soft glow to his features, and he looked younger… warmer. The Darkling came around to sit on the side of my bed, his hand reaching out to touch my cheek.

“I did knock,” he nodded, and then smiled slowly. “But no one answered. I just wanted to see that you were safe.”

See me safe?

“Is that all?” I asked, leaning against his touch, and resting my face in the palm of his hand.

The Darkling sat there quietly, and I began to wonder if he would ever say anything. But then he moved closer, his other hand reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I didn’t know if you wanted me to come,” he replied. “Or even if I should.”

“So you broke into my room?” I laughed, my other hand moving to touch his cupping my cheek. I brought his hand to rest in my lap, my fingers lightly stroking his palm.

“Did I really break in though?” He cocked his brow, a smug smile playing on his lips. “You should have locked your doors, Alina. If you didn’t want me to enter.”

I knew he was right. I had even debated whether or not to lock them earlier, but decided against it for this very reason. The Darkling was here, sitting on my bed, our hands touching. He seemed so much softer when it was just the two of us, as if all the pressures of the world instantly faded away.

“Can I ask you something?” I continued to trace mindless patterns on his hand.

“Anything.”

“Why…” I began, then shook my head, feeling foolish for even wondering.

He tilted my head up to look into his eyes. Every time he touched me, I felt a rush of power surge through me. Confidence, and bravery came to me as easily as breathing when I was near him. All the things I never thought I could be.

“Why did you kiss me?” I finally said, watching the emotion play out on his face. First surprise, that I had asked the question, and then puzzlement.

His hand in mine flipped, and his fingers moved slowly to my wrist. A small squeak left my lips as his thumb pressed down lightly, and then continued to move up my arm.

“Which time do you mean?” He grinned, looking outright mischievous.

“Both… I suppose,” I laughed at the absurdity that he had even kissed me at all.

“I’m not entirely sure,” his brows furrowed. A strange look crossed over his face, and I recognized it as insecurity. “All I know is that I wanted to, and that if I didn’t kiss you right then and there…” he trailed off.

His eyes met mine then, their slate color boring into mine. That same urgency that had come between us earlier tonight still lingered. I may not have much experience with what might come next, but I was more than willing.

“Alina?”

My stomach fluttered like a bird’s wings every time he said my name. “Yes?”

“I’m going to kiss you again,” he said matter of factly. Then he was leaning in, his hand caressing my cheek before his lips met mine. The light faded from the room, shrouding us in darkness. A small moan left my lips as his hand slid into my hair, pulling me closer to him. Part of me thought this was all a dream, but I wasn’t clever enough to dream of something this good, this fantastic.

“I want you,” he muttered against my lips. “I don’t understand it.”

“Neither do I,” I sighed, my hands tugging his collar, eager to feel more of him.

He kissed me again, before releasing his grip on me and standing. I knew it wouldn’t last — he had finally come to his senses and would now laugh and leave me.

Instead, he offered me his hand, and I took it.

“I never got a chance to tell you how stunning you look in black,” he smiled as he raised my left arm in the air. Laughter escaped me as he began to twirl me around, the black silk spinning out in all directions. I’d never felt more beautiful.

Suddenly, his arms gathered around me, and he pulled me flush against his chest.

“Why did you send me this black dress?” I asked, peering up into his face.

Indecision flickered in his eyes — the choice of whether or not to tell me the truth. I had suspected it since the start, that this, us, was something neither of us could comprehend. Something powerful, and with care could grow to be something unstoppable.

“I wanted,” his thumb brushed over my bottom lip. “I wanted everyone to know that you belonged with me. That you and I are the same.”

“The same,” I repeated. My head dropped, and I rested it against his chest. That’s when I heard his heart beating, fast and quick like a hummingbird. He was as nervous as I was.

Like calls to like.

“Are you sure you don’t have someone else you’d rather be spending tonight with?” I asked, keeping my head down, unable to meet his intense gaze. His hands slid along my back, and I gasped whenever he began to unbutton my dress.

“Believe it or not,” he smiled. I knew he was smiling even though I couldn’t see his face. “I haven’t done this in a very long time. It’s never felt like this… with anyone, Alina.”

That made me curious, and I moved my head to look at him. His hands paused on the buttons of my dress.

“I’ve never…” I blushed.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Alina.”

As if I could stop him now, with half the buttons of my dress undone. My senses were leaving me, and as his fingers grazed my bare back, I melted against him. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life.

“I want this,” I nodded, smiling as my hand slid up to the buttons of his black kefta. “I want you.”

Color rose to his cheeks, and the pit of my stomach warmed at the thought that I could bring him happiness. The Darkling terrified me, as he did most people, but that terrifying feeling was also exhilarating. It made me feel alive, and when he bent his head to kiss my neck, I let my emotions takeover.

“Oh, Alina,” he gasped softly and I opened my eyes to see the whole room covered in a soft light. Looking down at my body, I realized that it was me who was glowing — light emitted from me, illuminating the darkness.

The look of awe and wonder on his face filled me with pride. He said he hadn’t given up on me yet, and here in his arms, I felt it. The balance between the light and the dark.

I stepped out of his embrace, looking down at my body still emitting a soft glow. Then, tendrils of black smoke began to dance around me. The Darkling held out one hand, making the smoke wrap around me. The rational side of my mind told me that I should be afraid, but feeling his power around me only encouraged me. I pushed against it, and more light filled the room.

“Take my hand, Alina,” he said, holding it out to me. “Be who you were always meant to be… with me.”

I stood on a precipice, staring at the very man who would change the course of my life forever. As the light continued to glow, I reached out, took his hand and embraced the darkness.

My fingers trembled on the buttons of his kefta, feeling unsure of myself. His hands returned to the buttons of my dress and one by one, I came undone. No man had ever seen me like this, utterly exposed.

“Don’t be afraid,” he smiled, tipping my chin up and then he kissed me gently.

The silk slid from my arms and down my body, leaving me bare before him.

I felt his gaze linger over me, and I wanted to cover myself. Shivers cascaded through my body as he reached out and placed his hand on my chest, just over my heart.

“Are you nervous, Alina?”

I nodded, feeling heat creep into my cheeks. I wanted to be bold, and take what I wanted, but first I would need some help.

The Darkling began to unbutton his kefta, followed by the shirt underneath. My eyes never left his as he removed the rest of his clothing. His hands found mind, interlacing.

“Go ahead,” he smirked. “Have a look.”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” I grinned, but glanced down anyways, eager to see him. His body was lean, and muscular. Strong, and yet covered with small scars here and there. Battle wounds. My eyes traveled further down and settled on the space between his thighs. His cock was — well, it was huge, and I shivered, wondering how it would fit inside me.

“You’re…” I squeezed his hands. “Beautiful.”

He laughed, the sound making my heart race faster.

“That’s not exactly what men want to hear when they’re standing before a woman,” he teased. “But a compliment, nonetheless.”

His head bent and his lips were on mine. My lips parted to welcome his tongue, brushing against mine. Our bodies pressed together, and his length was hard, throbbing near my center. The Darkling slid his hands down my back, all while taking us closer to the bed. My body fell back gently against the soft mattress. He loomed over me, like a hunter stalking it’s prey.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “All mine.”

That thought thrilled me. His. All his. In that moment, I wanted him to possess me completely. I wanted to know him, and for him to know me. Reaching up, I took his hand and placed it over my breast.

His palm squeezed my tender flesh, then he skimmed it over my nipple. It hardened under his touch and he repeated the motion to my other breast. I could tell he was holding himself back, trying to be gentle.

“Please,” I begged, adjusting myself beneath him. This was my first time, but I couldn’t wait any longer.

“Tell me if I hurt you, Alina,” he said, worry creasing his forehead. I nodded, and then gasped as his mouth covered my breast. His tongue flicked out against my nipple. My back arched as he bit down, tugging on the hard bud.

Lightning raced through my veins as his hand moved along my body, down over my stomach until finally resting between my thighs. He was there, lightly touching me, feeling my wetness. His cock was hard on my leg, and I felt him lining up with my center. My body tensed as I prepared for what came next.

“Relax,” he suddenly grinned, moving one hand to stroke my cheek. “It won’t hurt as much if you’re relaxed.”

I took a deep breath, searching his eyes.

“Try to bring light into the room,” he suggested. “Focus on your power.”

His lips moved to my jaw, and down my neck. His length touched my center, and I moaned, parting my legs further. Easily, the light came forth, filling the space around us and creating a bubble of warmth.

“That’s it,” he murmured against my lips and then he was sliding forward, inch by inch. Gasps left my lips as he filled me, and the light continued to grow, only getting brighter.

Once he was fully inside me, he held still, letting me adjust. The Darkling rose above me, his hand cupping my cheek and in that moment, it was as if our souls were uniting, connecting beyond the limits of our world.

Then he moved, strong and powerful in each thrust.

“Oh!”

It hurt, badly at first, but as he continued to push forward, my body eased and soon I was moving my hips. Though he was large, my body welcomed him eagerly. I wrapped my arms around him, wanting him closer.

“You’re so good,” he said softly, repeating my name as he rolled against me. Our bodies slid together. I wrapped one leg around his waist, sighing at the sensation. The light around us shined brighter and stronger.

“More,” I begged, scratching at his back. “More!”

His hips jerked against me, and then his lips claimed mine, fierce in their desire. Our limbs intertwined, and I didn’t know where he ended and I began. Something was building inside of me, growing from the pit of my stomach.

“Alina, Alina,” he breathed my name. I slid one hand onto the back of his head and then I felt tears spring to the corners of my eyes.

I loved him.

This man I barely knew… who’s power should have scared me. I loved him. He moved within, simultaneously ripping me apart and putting me back together. I came undone, crying out as my body began to shake. Intense light filled the room and then a moment later, we were covered in darkness.

The Darkling let out a loud moan, his lips forever saying my name before he crashed on top of me. He cradled me in his arms and I chased that feeling, feeling the light creep up to the surface. I let it overflow until I could once again see his face. Carefully, he rolled onto his side, bringing me with him.

“I’m awfully glad I didn’t lock my door tonight,” I sighed, content.

He chuckled, his fingers smoothing over my cheeks before settling on my shoulder.

“You should probably lock it,” he said, still breathless. “It’s not safe. You never know who might come lurking these dark halls.”

“Like some villain, out to steal a girls virtue?”

Concern splashed over his face, but I wiped it away by placing a kiss to his lips.

“You are no villain,” I said softly. “You are simply a man.”

“Alina,” he sighed. “If only you were right.”

“I am always right.”

His hands pulled me closer to him, and I wondered when he would leave. Earlier at the party, Ivan had told him some important news about the herd. I knew we couldn’t stay like this forever, but I wanted to.

“You are who I say you are,” I spread my palm against his chest.

He was quiet, and his eyes were closed, but I knew he wasn’t asleep, only thinking.

“You make me want to be better, Alina,” he finally said after a long time.

I smiled and kissed him. “Together… we can be anything we want to be.”

The Darkling didn’t leave that night, but stayed holding me until the sun came up. As much as I didn’t want him to leave, we both knew that he needed to slip out of my room before anyone else woke up.

We’d made love twice that night, and my body ached in places I didn’t know existed. My lips still tingled from his touch. And my heart longed to be near him again. From now on, I belonged to him, and he belonged to me.

#embracing the darkness #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #the darkling #i will will their ending into existence #darklina #what should have happened in chapter 14 #shadow and bone #the grisha trilogy #ben barnes #darklina fic #darklina fanfic #grisha fanfic #shadow and bone fanfic

[sisterofsomeone]

Happy Birthday Noya

- Yu Nishinoya x fem reader, no warnings, fluffy and cute! Small references to making babies but nothing detailed, enjoy!

———————

“Noya?” You said tugging on the older boy’s shirt.

“Yeah y/n?”

“Do you really mean it? Like, pinky promise mean it?” He laughed and ruffled your hair.

“Of course I mean it! I’ll marry you when we’re all grown up and we’ll have a proper family together. We’ll have a big house and loads of animals and we can travel together and laugh and dance all the time!” He clasped your smaller hands in his and locked your gaze. His eyes sparkled and your heart sped up in your chest.

“I’ll be with you forever y/n!”

———————

That was ten years ago now and you hadn’t spoken to the libero in almost three years. He was a year your senior in school, and when he’d moved from junior high to high school his devotion to volleyball and his beloved Kiyoko drew his attention away from you for long enough that you just dissolved from his view. You weren’t close anymore, and he’d stopped proposing marriage to you when he’d turned twelve and learnt how babies were made, suddenly the promise of having children with you one day was a bit too much for his brain to handle. You’d promised yourself that you would move on too like he had, but no one could ever hold a candle to your Noya.

“Y/n!” Your best friend Yachi was waving her hand in your face as you gazed out of the window in a day dream. You were abruptly brought back to reality as she giggled softly.

“God you are all over the place today! What’s up?” She seemed concerned but masked it with a friendly smile.

“Nothing really, it’s just...” you sighed placing your chin in your hand and leaning on the table in front of you.

“I didn’t realise Nishinoya’s birthday affected you this much y/n.” Just hearing his name sent tears to your eyes, and you tried to blink them away before Yachi saw but it was no use.

“Oh y/n, you really miss him don’t you?” That’s all it took for you to break down at your desk. You really did miss that boy. Yachi pulled you to the girls toilet by your classroom and helped wipe your tears away and blot away the redness from your cheeks. You were thankful to have her in your life. She was the only one who knew about your past with him and the only one who’d you’d felt comfortable enough with to confide in about your love for Noya.

“You could always come to practise tonight and see him again?” She kept trying to get you to go to practise with her after school ever since she became the club manager. You’d met some of the first years, namely Kageyama and Hinata, but you would just feel way too awkward.

“No that’s such a bad idea. One, I have no reason to be there, and two he wouldn’t even remember me.” She scoffed at you and rolled her eyes.

“I can say you’re waiting for me because we have a project or we’re walking home together, and he’ll totally remember you. You’re gonna get married remember?” She teased, poking you in the sides until you let a giggle escape your lips. You tried pushing her hands away but it was no use, she’d gotten you to laugh so loudly that a teacher had to come in and tell you two to shut it and get back to class. You did as you were told, and both hurried back to class, but not before Yachi got you to promise to go to practise with her after school.

———————

You knew this was a bad idea, and that was only reinforced when Yachi pulled you into the gym and had all the players greet you. You smiled and said hi back but it was obvious you were uncomfortable. In the end though they didn’t even ask why you were there and the coach didn’t seem to mind so you just took a seat on the edge of the bench and watched.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Noya, you hadn’t even been able to say hi to him when you’d walked in behind Yachi, not that he’d even came over to say hi anyway. You were fiddling with your hands when you heard a familiar voice shouting your name.

“Y/n! Hey!” You looked to see Hinata waving at you as he rushed in late to practise.

“What are you doing here?” He offered you a smile and you gave him one right back.

“O-oh, I’m just waiting for Yachi. I’m staying at hers tonight.” He nodded and waved to Yachi.

“That’s cool! You said hey to Noya yet? I’m sure-“ He was interrupted by a volleyball to the back of the head and an icy glare from Asahi, silently telling him to back off. You went a little pale when he said Noya’s name but tried to act as calmly as possible. He ran off, throwing an apology Noya’s way and just shrugged at Kageyama when he asked him how he was so stupid. Yachi nudged you and smiled.

“Nishinoya is blushing right now.” You dared a peak over at the boy and sure enough he was. Kiyoko was slightly giggling beside you and there was an air of nervousness flowing through the boys. You felt as though just being there was making things way too tense, so you made an excuse and left despite Yachi begging you not to.

Stepping outside into the cold fresh air of October was relaxing. You’d always liked the colder months, being able to wrap yourself in layer upon layer. It was also an excuse to bring out the old scarf Noya gave you as a present when you two were younger.

“You still have that old thing?”

You were frozen in place, your hand reaching up to the scarf around your neck.

“Wow, I’m impressed. Thought you would have thrown that out years ago.” He chuckled next to you, the sound sending you hurtling back to your childhood together.

“Hey Noya.” It came out as barely a whisper, but he heard you.

“Been a while, hasn’t it?” He was fidgeting next to you, obviously uncomfortable with your presence.

“Look I’m so sorry for coming I-“ you stopped talking when you turned to face him and saw the rosey blush dusting his cheeks and the smile playing on his lips.

“Happy birthday.” He looked startled for a second, but his eyes softened into your gaze.

“You remembered?” Nodding eagerly you smiled back at him.

“I always remember, every year.” He let out a sigh and dropped his gaze to the ground, kicking up a small cloud of dust.

“I’m really sorry for disappearing on you y/n. I shouldn’t have left you like that.”

“Oh, thanks. I mean, you were growing up and needed space. I get that.”

“But I didn’t want space from you. I still don’t. I just thought...” he sighed and kicked the ground again, his voice shaken.

“I thought you’d be happier with your friends in your own year. That I wasn’t fun for you anymore, that you didn’t enjoy my company.” In that moment you realised he hadn’t dropped you because he’d moved on, but the opposite. He’d felt that he wasn’t good enough for you.

“Noya.” Your voice was louder this time, but soft and warm. He raised his eyes back up to meet yours. The soft hazel seemingly melting under your gaze.

“How could I hate the company of the man I’m gonna marry?” You smiled at this, a playful lilt in your words. He blushed at you and a smile broke out across his whole face.

“To be honest y/n, when I found out how babies were made I kind of freaked out.” He playfully joked back, but there was a sense of vulnerability to him.

“Oh god, don’t remind me! When I found out my dad wouldn’t stop going on about how ‘Noya will never do that to his baby girl’” you laughed placing a hand on his arm for support. This was nice.

“Your dad actually asked me to stop talking about marrying you, you know? Said I was gonna stop you from living your life.” Your laughter stopped and you looked up at the libero. “He said I wouldn’t let you meet new people if I kept telling you that we were gonna get married, that you would get too attached and wouldn’t make choices for yourself.”

“He what?” Your voice was harsher now, the anger prevalent in your tone.

“He was just trying to protect you y/n, that’s all.” He raised an eyebrow at your sudden outburst and you felt silly all of a sudden.

“But, if he hadn’t of told me to back off, I’m sure I would have brought you a ring by now.” This caught you totally off guard. Noya had always joked about buying you an engagement ring, but the way he was saying it now you could tell there was no way he was joking.

“I really miss you y/n. I’m still up for marrying you, if you’ll have me?” You blinked at him, his cheeks now burning red and his ears turning a deep shade of pink. This was really happening.

You let out a soft hum and pretended to be lost in thought for a moment before placing a swift kiss on his cheek. His hand flew up to the spot and he stared at you with a mix of bewilderment and pure joy.

“Maybe we should go on a date first before we start picking out the baby names?” He smiled at this and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“I’m so okay with that y/n.” He leant in, his nose brushing against yours, silently asking for your permission. You nodded and his lips met yours. He was much softer and calmer than you’d imagined, but it still set fireworks off in your brain. He pulled back after a few moments, his smile wide and eyes sparkling like they did all those years ago.

“You promise you want me? Like pinky promise mean it?” He pulled you impossibly closer to his chest and kissed you again, and that’s exactly the response you needed to calm your nerves.

#hinata shouyou #hq imagines #hq anime #noya fluff #nishinoya oneshot #haikyuu nishinoya #nishinoya x y/n #nishinoya x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #yu nishinoya #fluff #cute #fanfic #fan fic things #fan fiction #haikyu x reader #kageyama tobio #haikyuucafe

[buckyownsmylife]

How I Want You - Logan Delos x Reader Fluff

The one where Logan confesses that he loves you.

Warnings: angst, Logan’s crappy father, sexual themes, selfdoubt and selfhatred.

A/N: No, I couldn’t help myself. I’m obsessed with Taylor Swift and it shows.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

It was way too fucking late for anyone to be up, and still, much too early for Logan to have gone to bed. Which was why the second my phone rang, I forsake my comfy blankets and grabbed my keys, knowing exactly who it was - the only person who would call me at such a time and the only number whose call would get through during my sleeping hours.

“Where are you?” Was all I asked, although I already knew that the answer wouldn’t be satisfactory to my plan of going back to sleep as soon as possible. “You know what? Just stay where you are. I’m coming to get you. This is why I download that find my friends app in the first place.”

“I’m home,” he interjected, his tone sounding very firm, and very tired, and very not drunk for the time of day. It caught me by surprise. “I’ll be waiting.”And then he was gone. Hung up in a show of just how quickly he needed me to get to him.

It made my skin crawl and heartbeat pick up, that intuition that only ever acted when it came to him telling me something very bad had happened, or at the very least, that he was as far away from okay as he could get. And if he was home, then it truly was the worst case scenario. 

I got there as fast as I could without breaking any laws, and I barely allowed myself the time to kill off the engine before I was running out of the vehicle and into my best friend’s arms. Logan welcomed with a silent desperation that came in the form of reaching for me as a child would for any sort of parental guidance, and the anxiety that had been coursing through my veins while I couldn’t see his state little by little began to be replaced by anger. Pure, unadulterated, blinding anger.

“Get in the car, Lo,” I called him by the childhood nickname he pretended to hate, knowing it would help in my task to calm him down. “I’ll be right back.” He wanted to stop me the second that he realized what my intention was. I knew it because he seized my wrist and held it tightly, stopping me from moving any further away from him. But the second that he saw my eyes, when I turned around to stare at him and silently order him to let go, he did just so, knowing better than anyone else that when I got into this mindset, there was no one who could possibly get me out of it.

“Okay.” He nodded, and I knew he was watching me as I stepped into the huge mansion Logan did not call home. It only made me even more sure of what I intended to do. With quick strides, I crossed the main floor in the direction of his father’s office, and I didn’t even knock before I slammed it open, fire burning inside of me.

“What the fuck did you say to him?” I yelled as soon as James’ eyes met mine after my loud entrance startled him from whatever work he was trying to do at such a late hour - work he had always prioritized over his son.

“What?” He asked, clearly not expecting my sudden outburst, and probably not immediately relating my loss of reason to his only son. It only made me grow angrier, the fact that just because he didn’t worry about Logan, he couldn’t imagine anyone else caring for him either.

“What the fuck did you tell Logan that made him so upset? Only you can make him feel bad about himself, so I know it’s your fault. Tell me.” When realization finally seemed to hit him, no ounce of regret or shame painted James’ features, but that didn’t surprise me. Even if he had never been anything other than sweet to me, being Logan’s best friend meant I knew who he really was, and that implied that I knew every single one of his flaws as a father. He just didn’t know that I did, until then.

“You’re a smart girl, Y/N. You really shouldn’t waste your time on a failure like him.” The harsh reality of what he had said hurt me so deeply that it immediately drained me of all anger, leaving only a sickly feeling of disgust behind.

“Logan deserves every single second of my attention, and he deserves yours too. I’m sorry you can’t see it, but the only one who’s missing out is you.” Cold, bitter tears of pity for the sweet man I knew flowed down my cheeks, but I was quick to wipe them away. Logan didn’t need to see them.

“How was it in there?” He asked as soon as I was inside of the car again, his lips curled in a small smile that was half self-conscious, half knowing of what his father was capable of saying when it came to him, but I couldn’t yet stomach what I’d heard, so I just clutched his hand tightly with mine.

“Doesn’t matter. How about a sleepover?”

Logan’s P.O.V.

The drive to her place was silent, but she kept reaching for my hand every time she could, like she needed the physical reminder that I was there with her, instead of back at my house. Like she knew that I needed to be reminded of that too.

What would I do without her? Ever since I could remember, it was us against the world. Or more precisely, us against my father, and as a child, he was pretty much the only boundaries to the world that I knew. But even after I grew and started to see past my father’s empire, when I started to make real, lousy mistakes, instead of the childhood errors that would get me grounded, she still stuck up for me. She was always there, whenever I needed her.

My eyes trailed up her body, taking notice of the way her sleepwear still managed to make her curves enticing. She always looked beautiful in my eyes. No matter how many women I slept with, they could never come close to the beauty that I saw in my best friend and only in her.

“What do you see in me?” I blurted out, suddenly overtaken by the realization of just how inferior to her I was. It made my chest feel tighter, and breathing became a bit harder. The tears that would never come for my father suddenly stung my eyes, and I had to rub the palms of my hands against them to stop myself from crying.

“I’m sorry?” It seemed like she wasn’t expecting the sudden interruption to the silence that had fallen between us, but the desperation that had forced me to ask the question that plagued me had been dulled by my fear of her answer. I couldn’t bear the thought of knowing she thought less of me. I couldn’t bear the thought of being less in her eyes than she was in mine.

“Logan, what do you see in yourself?” She asked, once more glancing at me to make sure I was fine, which I was certain I would be able to pretend like I was. But of course, I could never fool her. So when she squeezed my hand to get me to talk, I found myself answering honestly, “Nothing. I-I’m nothing, Y/N. I’m just a waste of space and air and energy, your energy, and I have absolutely no idea why you put up with me.”

We had arrived at her apartment complex, I realized, but only because suddenly there were arms thrown over me, and a familiar neck for me to nuzzle with a familiar perfume that seemed to be the only thing able to relax my very soul.

“Well, that’s the exact opposite of what I see in you, Logan Delos. I see so much, I see everything. I see the whole wide world in you. You’ve always meant that for me. And to see you doubt that… There’s not a day in my life where I don’t hate your father for making you think so little of yourself.” That had me laughing against her skin, but it was a wet sound, unfortunately. Still, she didn’t seem to mind, allowing me to cling tightly to her as she drew soft patterns on my back. “You can’t say bad things about yourself, ever. That’s an order.”

After that last comment made me pull away from her to freely laugh, she looked patiently at me with the most loving smile on her face. “Do you have any idea what you mean to me?” I asked, caressing the side of her face and grinning with pride when she leaned against my touch.

“Almost as much as you mean to me, I hope.” I swear, only she could have me laughing after feeling so down a few minutes before. 

“Way more than that.”

“I doubt it.”

For a while, it was a staring contest between the two of us in her tiny car. I wanted to lean in and kiss her. God, I wanted to find out if her lips were as soft as they looked like But the second my hand grazed her cheek, she seemed to snap out of whatever reverie we had fallen on, quickly putting some space between us to unbuckle her belt.

“Let’s go,” she called out, reaching out for my hand as we walked towards her apartment. The second we were in the familiar setting of her living room, I felt the last bit of weight that had settled over my chest suddenly vaporize and disappear.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” I acknowledged as I took off my coat. “I owe you.”

“You owe me nothing,” she tried to wave it off, but I couldn’t let her do that. No, I needed her to understand that this was important to me, and I started by pulling her close so I could cradle her face between my hands and force her to see the seriousness in my so often joking eyes.

“I owe you a lot.” That was all I managed to say, as my throat closed at the quickening of my heartbeat. The moment felt heavy with something we couldn’t find it in ourselves to explore, and so we just stood there in silence, eyes cautiously exploring each other’s features until one of us decided to break the tension with a joke.

This time, it was her.

“I’m glad I downloaded that app on my phone and activated your location on yours. I seriously considered buying you a nice collar, with a tracker or something, so I could always know where you were when you called me. Especially when drunk.” I didn’t expect her words to have such an effect on me, but it was instantaneous. I felt my cock harden on my pants, and I knew that she could feel it too as I hid my blushing face in the crook of her neck.

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really that oblivious?” I tried to pass it off as a joke, hoping to calm down despite keeping her touch close to me, but when her fingers buried themselves in my hair, I knew she’d only keep me balancing on this tightrope we’d been dancing on for way too long.

“I had no idea you were into that kind of stuff. Does the idea of wearing a collar entice you that much, Lo?” She asked, and although I knew she also wanted to pass it off as a joke, her voice sounded different, raspier. Filled with desire, I realized with a jolt, finally detaching myself from her to look her in the eye again. 

This was it. This was my chance to say something that would irrevocably change the nature of our relationship forever, but hopefully, it’d become all I’d ever wanted.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“If it’s a collar that shows I belong to you, definitely.” I inhaled sharply at the words that fell oh-so-easily from my best friend’s lips. I knew him enough - I knew him way too much - to doubt the veracity of them, but that didn’t stop me from being overwhelmed at the realization that Logan wanted to be mine just as much as I wanted to be his.

“C’mon, stop teasing me,” I pleaded, trying to put some space between us, but failing to do so. Logan kept me close to him, gaze heavy on my body and when I still refused to meet his eyes, he held my jaw and forced me to do so.

“No, you c’mon. You know this isn’t me teasing you like when we were kids. I really, really want you. And not only like a best friend.” I didn’t even notice I was biting my lip until he pried it away with his thumb, staring longingly at it. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”

Before becoming a kiss, it was just him sucking that same bottom lip into his mouth, making me gasp and hold onto his shoulders for support. But then, he fused our mouths together, licking his way inside my mouth until I couldn’t breathe anymore.

When my eyes fluttered open to find his, I could barely see his pupils anymore. “Well, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep after that,” I joked, trying to ease some of the tension in the room, but failing miserably. There was too much desire between us to disappear just like that. We’d need to find a way to release it if we were to ever move past this.

“I’d be offended if you were.” It felt nice to laugh with him after this kiss, this revelation of sentiments. It felt like, regardless of what we would become after tonight, I wouldn’t lose the most important person in my life, my best friend. The only one who could make me laugh like this, even after a breathtaking kiss, apparently.

“Wanna do something else, instead?”

#my fics #logan delos fluff #logan delos #fluff #logan delos x reader #logan delos reader #logan delos reader insert #logan delos reader inserts #logan delos imagine #logan delos imagines #logan delos writing #logan delos writings

[richincolor]

New Releases for the Week of May 3, 2021

It's great to see so many new books hitting the shelves this week. I know I've been waiting for several of these and am happy to be able to finally read them. 

The Ones We’re Meant to Find by Joan He Roaring Brook

Cee has been trapped on an abandoned island for three years without any recollection of how she arrived, or memories from her life prior. All she knows is that somewhere out there, beyond the horizon, she has a sister named Kay. Determined to find her, Cee devotes her days to building a boat from junk parts scavenged inland, doing everything in her power to survive until the day she gets off the island and reunites with her sister.

In a world apart, 16-year-old STEM prodigy Kasey Mizuhara is also living a life of isolation. The eco-city she calls home is one of eight levitating around the world, built for people who protected the planet―and now need protecting from it. With natural disasters on the rise due to climate change, eco-cities provide clean air, water, and shelter. Their residents, in exchange, must spend at least a third of their time in stasis pods, conducting business virtually whenever possible to reduce their environmental footprint. While Kasey, an introvert and loner, doesn’t mind the lifestyle, her sister Celia hated it. Popular and lovable, Celia much preferred the outside world. But no one could have predicted that Celia would take a boat out to sea, never to return.

Now it’s been three months since Celia’s disappearance, and Kasey has given up hope. Logic says that her sister must be dead. But as the public decries her stance, she starts to second guess herself and decides to retrace Celia’s last steps. Where they’ll lead her, she does not know. Her sister was full of secrets. But Kasey has a secret of her own. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee Quill Tree Books

Noah Ramirez thinks he’s an expert on romance. He has to be for his popular blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem—all the stories are fake. What started as the fantasies of a trans boy afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe.

When a troll exposes the blog as fiction, Noah’s world unravels. The only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. Then Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place: Drew is willing to fake-date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realizes that dating in real life isn’t quite the same as finding love on the page.

In this charming novel by Emery Lee, Noah will have to choose between following his own rules for love or discovering that the most romantic endings are the ones that go off script. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

They Better Call Me Sugar: My Journey from the Hood to the Hardwood by Sugar Rodgers Black Sheep

Growing up in dire poverty in Suffolk, Virginia, Sugar (born Ta’Shauna) Rodgers never imagined that she would become an all-star player in the WNBA (Women’s National Basketball Association). Both of her siblings were in and out of prison throughout much of her childhood and shootings in her neighborhood were commonplace. For Sugar this was just a fact of life.

While academics wasn’t a high priority for Sugar and many of her friends, athletics always played a prominent role. She mastered her three-point shot on a net her brother put up just outside their home, eventually becoming so good that she could hustle local drug dealers out of money in one-on-one contests.

With the love and support of her family and friends, Sugar’s performance on her high school basketball team led to her recruitment by the Georgetown Hoyas, and her eventual draft into the WNBA in 2013 by the Minnesota Lynx (who won the WNBA Finals in Sugar’s first year). The first of her family to attend college, Sugar speaks of her struggles both academically and as an athlete with raw honesty.

Sugar’s road to a successful career as a professional basketball player is fraught with sadness and death–including her mother’s death when she’s fourteen, which leaves Sugar essentially homeless. Throughout it all, Sugar clings to basketball as a way to keep herself focused and sane.

And now Sugar shares her story as a message of hope and inspiration for young girls and boys everywhere, but especially those growing up in economically challenging conditions. Never sugarcoating her life experiences, she delivers a powerful message of discipline, perseverance, and always believing in oneself. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry by Joya Goffney HarperTeen

Quinn keeps lists of everything—from the days she’s ugly cried, to “Things That I Would Never Admit Out Loud,” to all the boys she’d like to kiss. Her lists keep her sane. By writing her fears on paper, she never has to face them in real life. That is, until her journal goes missing…

An anonymous account posts one of her lists on Instagram for the whole school to see and blackmails her into facing seven of her greatest fears, or else her entire journal will go public. Quinn doesn’t know who to trust. Desperate, she teams up with Carter Bennett—the last known person to have her journal—in a race against time to track down the blackmailer.

Together, they journey through everything Quinn’s been too afraid to face, and along the way, Quinn finds the courage to be honest, to live in the moment, and to fall in love. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Hurricane Summer by Asha Bromfield Wednesday Books

Tilla has spent her entire life trying to make her father love her. But every six months, he leaves their family and returns to his true home: the island of Jamaica.

When Tilla’s mother tells her she’ll be spending the summer on the island, Tilla dreads the idea of seeing him again, but longs to discover what life in Jamaica has always held for him.

In an unexpected turn of events, Tilla is forced to face the storm that unravels in her own life as she learns about the dark secrets that lie beyond the veil of paradise—all in the midst of an impending hurricane.

Hurricane Summer is a powerful coming of age story that deals with colorism, classism, young love, the father-daughter dynamic—and what it means to discover your own voice in the center of complete destruction. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Indivisible by Daniel Aleman Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

There is a word Mateo Garcia and his younger sister Sophie have been taught to fear for as long as they can remember: deportation. Over the past few years, however, the fear that their undocumented immigrant parents could be sent back to Mexico has started to fade to the back of their minds. And why wouldn’t it, when their Ma and Pa have been in the United States for so long, they have American-born children, and they’re hard workers and good neighbors?

When two ICE agents come asking for Pa, the Garcia family realizes that the lives they’ve built are about to come crumbling down. And when Mateo returns from school one day to find that his parents have been taken, he’ll have to come to terms with the fact that his family’s worst nightmare has become a reality.

With his Ma and Pa being held in separate detention centers, Mateo must learn how to look after his sister and himself. The choices Mateo makes, and the people he turns to for help, might reunite his family… or tear them apart for good. With his parents’ fate and his own future hanging in the balance, Mateo must figure out who he is and what he is capable of, even as he’s forced to question what it means to be an American teenager in a country that rejects his own mom and dad. — Cover art and summary via Goodreads

Counting Down with You by Tashie Bhuiyan Inkyard Press

Karina Ahmed has a plan. Keep her head down, get through high school without a fuss, and follow her parents’ rules—even if it means sacrificing her dreams. When her parents go abroad to Bangladesh for four weeks, Karina expects some peace and quiet. Instead, one simple lie unravels everything.

Karina is my girlfriend.

Tutoring the school’s resident bad boy was already crossing a line. Pretending to date him? Out of the question. But Ace Clyde does everything right—he brings her coffee in the mornings, impresses her friends without trying, and even promises to buy her a dozen books (a week) if she goes along with his fake-dating facade. Though Karina agrees, she can’t help but start counting down the days until her parents come back.

T-minus twenty-eight days until everything returns to normal—but what if Karina no longer wants it to? — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

All Kinds of Other by James Sie Quill Tree Books

In this tender, nuanced coming-of-age love story, two boys—one who is cis and one who is trans—have been guarding their hearts to protect themselves, until their feelings for each other give them a reason to stand up to their fears.

Two boys are starting at a new school.

Jules is just figuring out what it means to be gay and hasn’t totally decided whether he wants to be out at his new school. His parents and friends have all kinds of opinions, but for his part, Jules just wants to make the basketball team and keep his head down.

Jack is trying to start over after a best friend break-up. He followed his actor father clear across the country to LA, but he’s also totally ready to leave his past behind. Maybe this new school where no one knows him is exactly what he needs.

When the two boys meet, the sparks are undeniable. But then a video surfaces linking Jack to a pair of popular transgender vloggers, and the revelations about Jack’s past thrust both Jack and Jules into the spotlight they’ve been trying to avoid. Suddenly both boys have a choice to make—between lying low where it’s easier or following their hearts. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Luck of the Titanic by Stacey Lee G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers

Southampton, 1912: Seventeen-year-old British-Chinese Valora Luck has quit her job and smuggled herself aboard the Titanic with two goals in mind: to reunite with her twin brother Jamie--her only family now that both their parents are dead--and to convince a part-owner of the Ringling Brothers Circus to take the twins on as acrobats. Quick-thinking Val talks her way into opulent firstclass accommodations and finds Jamie with a group of fellow Chinese laborers in third class. But in the rigidly stratified world of the luxury liner, Val's ruse can only last so long, and after two long years apart, it's unclear if Jamie even wants the life Val proposes. Then, one moonless night in the North Atlantic, the unthinkable happens--the supposedly unsinkable ship is dealt a fatal blow--and Val and her companions suddenly find themselves in a race to survive.

Stacey Lee, master of historical fiction, brings a fresh perspective to an infamous tragedy, loosely inspired by the recently uncovered account of six Titanic survivors of Chinese descent.

#new releases #YALit

[shinsouskitten]

Late Kinktober: Exhibitionism - Kaminari

Pika pika

Also, Denki and Sero are stoners. I do not take criticism

⚡ Denki Kaminari x gn!reader

Warnings: kinktober so yk… nsfw, minors DNI, kinda dub-con to begin with? 

---

Movie night with the bakusquad was always fun. Whether it was Bakugou screaming at horror movie characters for being stupid, Sero trying to convince everyone to give up on the movie and smoke with him instead, or Mina forcing all of you to allow her free reign with make-overs, there was never a dull moment. 

Tonight consisted of the first scenario. The movie playing was something you’d never seen before, but you weren’t really that interested. You were just happy to spend some time with your friends, and more specifically, your boyfriend. 

Denki, as per usual on movie night, had demanded cuddles. Bakugou liked to joke that it was because Denki was scared of the horror movies, but you knew the real reason. And just like before, the soft touch of his hand creeping up your thigh was an easy indicator that this night was just like the others. 

It started off simple, a single hand resting on your knee while the other lay draped around your shoulders. Then, his hand would move higher, to sit on your thigh, his actions entirely hidden beneath the blanket that was thrown over the two of you. Slowly but surely he would find the waistband of your pants, and toy with it for a while, before he made sure that the coast was clear. 

Having his hand in your underwear was a little shocking the first time he did it, but now, you were used to the intrusion of privacy. Denki didn’t care that there were others around. He didn’t care that they would easily notice what was going on if they paid enough attention. But they didn’t, and so he was able to continue his fun unbeknownst to the rest of the room. 

You let out a yelp as a jolt of electricity tickled the inside of your thigh.

“Damn extra being scared of a crappy thing jumpscare that.” Bakugou muttered. 

The others laughed, and you faked a chuckle alongside them, but it was hard to pay attention to anything but Denki’s hand as it traced small circles over the area he had just zapped. You clenched your thighs together as a warning, but Denki simply turned to look at you with a raised eyebrow, prying your legs apart softly and continuing his assault. 

You grit your teeth as you felt another shock, this time more prepared. You felt Denki smile as he pressed his lips against your neck, pretending to be scared when in reality he didn’t even know what was on the screen. All that mattered was the shame of your breath as his hand began to move against you. 

“Someone’s excited.” He murmured. 

“Oi dumbass you’re missing the movie!” Bakugou shouted, ignoring Kiri who tried to shush him. 

“They’re warm.” Denki replied with a shrug, but he pulled his face away from your neck and turned back to the screen, still not stopping the movement of his hand. 

For a moment you feared they would realize, but Bakugou simply scoffed and turned away from you. You let out a breath, almost choking on the air as Denki sharply pulled you onto his lap. 

“What are you-”

“Shh.” He interrupted. “Just enjoy the movie.”

You tried to relax as he removed his hand from your pants, but you couldn’t hide your quiet whine at the loss of attention.

Denki chuckled. “And here I thought you were embarrassed.”

You didn’t offer a reply, instead deciding on providing your boyfriend the same torture he had given to you, lifting up your hips slightly before bringing them back down in a slow circle.

He drew in a sharp breath. “Careful baby.”

“Someone’s excited.” You mocked his previous words with a sly grin, actions still hidden beneath the blanket as you began to slowly grind against him. 

You could feel his jaw clench as his head fell down to rest on your shoulder. 

“You’re killing me here.” He murmured.

“Payback, pikachu.” You grinned, turning your head to press a kiss to his forehead.

He let out a groan, much too quiet for anyone else to hear, but it was music to your ears. 

“If you keep doing that I’m not gonna last.” He muttered.

“Too bad.” You replied.

You knew Kaminari was sensitive, and you knew in a situation such as yours he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back for long. Even so, you didn’t care. Whether he creamed in his pants and punished you later or gave up all restraint and fucked you right there in front of your closest friends, you didn’t care. He started it, after all.

Suddenly his hands came to hold your waist, stilling your movements with a grip so tight you knew there would be bruises there tomorrow. He stood up with a start, throwing you over his shoulder in one fluid movement.

“Y/n’s not feeling too well.” He announced to the others. “I’m taking them home.”

Sero raised an eyebrow at his friend, but didn’t say anything.

Without waiting for a response Denki carried you out of the door, careful not to hit your head on the frame. He threw you in the car as carefully as he could manage in his honry state. The drive home was short, and though he didn’t say anything, the tension in his jaw was enough to tell you that you would be sore tomorrow. 

He made a beeline to the bedroom the moment you stepped in the house, not even bothering to lock the front door behind you. He threw you on the bed, then disappeared, leaving you alone and unbelievably needy. 

You felt in your pocket for your phone as you felt it buzz, the screen almost blinding you in the darkroom.

Bakusquad (two new messages)

Flextape: you’re not very subtle

AlienQueen💗: did you get some, y/n?

“Hey Denki. They know.” You called with a small laugh. 

“I don’t care.”

You looked up from your phone to see him standing in the doorway, illuminated from behind with a golden hue. His eyes were staring at you, pupils so blown only a small slither of yellow could be seen. He’d taken off his shirt, and his pants were already unbuckled, the waistband of his boxers poking up just above the denim.

You were going to be in for a long night.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero #denki kaminari #denki kaminari x reader #denki kaminari smut #bnha denki #mha smut #bnha smut

[louiseleblancdiggory]

Merry Halloween

31 Days of Spooktober

Day 5/31

Prompt: “it's december. we can't celebrate halloween in december” “yes, we can” one where rowan can't spent halloween with aelin so aelin decides they're going to celebrate in december

Aelin was exhausted.

She really thought that finishing college and finally working on her own in the gallery would be the best thing ever, but in reality it was just brutal. She had an assistant only twice a week, meaning that the other days she was all by herself working on several different pieces of art that required all her attention. She was hoping that Borte would accept working full week next year, and that Kaltain and Elide would actually join her in the gallery when both graduated in the next spring.

For now, however, Aelin was tired, feet dragging as she came home.

An empty home.

That was another problem she hadn’t thought about before graduating months ago. Her art and history degree had only taken four years, as it was the norm, but her boyfriend, pursuing law, would have to go to Law School for another three years. It was fine, they agreed. It was a lot of busy work but they surely could make it work.

That is, until Rowan moved to Boston and Aelin remained in Chicago.

The long distance relationship fucking sucked, but it was that or breaking up with Rowan, something she didn’t see herself doing in a million of years. And so, for the past seven months, they had been living off phone calls, FaceTime and very rare weekends in which Aelin managed to fly to Boston. It wasn’t by any means ideal, but it was somewhat working.

And yet, as she walked home, looking at all the couples buying Christmas decorations, dinning together and just living their lives with one another, Aelin couldn’t help but feel a deep pang of jealousy. Her two favorite holidays were Halloween and Christmas, and she wouldn’t be able to spend neither with Rowan.

During October, he was too busy with the first quarter tests, and now he was studying like crazy for his midterms. There was no way he could go to Chicago, and Aelin didn’t have the funds or the time to go to Boston. She had to keep the gallery open, especially during Christmas season.

She hadn’t seen her boyfriend in more than three months and it fucking sucked.

She fucking missed him.

Aelin finally arrived in her townhouse, courtesy of her granduncle’s will, and almost cried of relief. She just wanted to take a bath, order something to eat and call Rowan. It was Friday, so hopefully he would be done with his studies for the day and would be able to spend hours on the phone with her.

Thinking better, she could both shower and order with him already on the phone, so as she opened the front door, Aelin also started looking for her phone inside her purse. The thing was way too big and way too full, meaning that Aelin was bound to spend minutes looking for that goddamn phone.

“I need to be more organized.” Aelin grunted, stepping in. She started taking off her scarf as she still tried to look down at the purse. “A-ha!”

Aelin raised the phone triumphantly in front of her, and it took her only a few seconds to realize what was behind the phone.

“What. The. Fuck.” Aelin breathed, gripping the phone harder as she let her coat and purse fall to the ground, feet taking her deeper into the hall. She also felt her jaw dropping, mind so confused she didn’t know what to do first. She didn’t know if this was some of Aedion’s pranks or if she should be actually concerned and call the cops.

All around the townhouse, small Christmas decorations made the place look like it was the fucking North Pole. Even Fleetfoot, sitting by the fire that Aelin was a hundred percent sure she had not lit, was dressed in her small Santa hat, bitting a bone in the shape of a candy cane that Aelin was also sure she hadn’t given the dog.

The confusion only thickened when she realized that every decoration, every small stocking and red lanterns, were exactly where she would have put them. The townhouse was relatively big, and Aelin just knew that if this was one of Aedion’s pranks, he wouldn’t have done it so perfectly.

Aelin’s mind was racing, heart beating fast as she was torn between confusion and the need to grab Fleetfoot and run.

“I’d hope you’d be smiling more in this occasion.” A male voice came from behind her, and Aelin immediately whipped her head to the man now standing near Fleetfoot, hands on his pockets and a grin on his lips. His grey-silver hair was a little longer than the last time they saw each other in person, but the tanned skin, pine green eyes and handsome face were still the same.

Aelin dropped her phone, frozen in place for a single second before a joyful laugh ripped through her. The man’s grin widened, and he walked a few steps forward as Aelin ran to him. She threw herself in his arms, her own arms sneaking around his neck as she pulled him closer to her. Rowan hugged her back with a bone-crushing force, face burying on the crook of her neck, breathing her in.

“What are you doing here?!” Aelin asked, her cheeks hurting from smiling. She pulled her face back, staring right into his green eyes, face also lit with so much happiness that it made Aelin’s heart expand.

Rowan tried shrugging. “I missed Fleetfoot.”

Aelin laughed, hugging his neck tighter as she raised herself on her tiptoes. “I missed you so fucking much.”

Rowan lowered his head, hands going from her hips up to her face, cupping her cheeks as he pressed his mouth against hers. Aelin sighed in content, body immediately melting against Rowan’s as his hot lips moved on top of hers. It had been months since she had kissed her boyfriend, and the feeling of his boy against hers, his lips against hers was the best present she could ask for.

“I missed you so fucking much too, Ace.” Rowan murmured, bitting her bottom lip and then sweeping his tongue lightly against it. Aelin opened her mouth, feeling Rowan’s tongue enter it and touch hers. Her mind that had been racing seconds ago because of confusion was now racing for a different reason, whole body heating as Rowan deepened the kiss, mouth and tongue moving harder and more intensely against hers. Aelin dragged her hands down his neck all the way to the middle of his back, gripping his shirt as she took a small step forward, grounding her hips against Rowan’s.

Rowan’s hands were in her hair, fingers tangling with the strawberry blonde waves. He pulled some strands softly, earning a small and quiet moan from Aelin. When he heard it, Aelin felt a small huff of laughter against her mouth and she was ready to drag Rowan to her room and make up for the lost time.

However, it looked like Fleetfoot had a different idea, because the puppy got up barking, circling Rowan and Aelin’s feet. Aelin drew back, breathless, and looked down. She chuckled at the small, fluffy ball at their feet, and bent down to grab her.

When Aelin got up again, body still pressed against Rowan’s but now with Fleetfoot taking up some space, she chuckled once more. “Looks like someone wants attention.”

Rowan narrowed his eyes. “Traitor. I bring you a present and you cock-block me.” Fleetfoot simply barked, throwing her paws at Rowan’s chest. He rolled his eyes, but smiled as he picked up Fleetfoot from Aelin. “Good to know both of you missed me.”

Aelin chuckled, shaking her head. “Her most of all.”

Rowan took his eyes from Fleetfoot for a second to wink at Aelin before focusing on the dog again. She was still a puppy, meaning that both of Rowan’s hands basically engulfed her. However, she didn’t really seem to care. Fleetfoot absolutely adored Rowan, and he would pretend he didn’t adore her as much. Seeing the two together, Rowan holding the puppy as if it was a toy, made Aelin feel her whole body relax further, a serene smile on her face.

“You’re staring.” Rowan murmured, eyes not leaving the dog.

Aelin shrugged, hugging him tighter. “I wish you could live with us.”

Rowan looked at her, an eyebrow raised and a hint of humor on his face. “Oh?”

They had been dating for over three years now, and it was no doubt that neither of them thought that the relationship would end. Aelin lived with Lysandra during college and Rowan had lived with Lorcan, otherwise they would have probably shared an apartment already.

Aelin rolled her eyes. “Stop trying to get me to boost your ego.”

Rowan grinned, holding Fleetfoot with one hand as the other one pulled Aelin by her waist. “You want to live with me, Aelin Galathynius?”

She narrowed her eyes. “I just said I do.”

“That’s adorable. No, really, I’m fucking flattered.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Aelin said ironically.

“It’s like you’ve planned our whole lives already.”

“Please, be quiet.”

“I’d move in, probably propose during Christmas.”

“You are insufferable.”

“I’d put a baby on you by next Christmas.”

Aelin snorted, shaking her head. “Have you been thinking about putting a baby inside of me, Ro?”

Rowan nodded dutifully. “Definitely have been thinking about the process a lot for the past months. We could be training for it right now if this small version of the Devil wasn’t so needy.”

Aelin laughed, petting Fleetfoot. “Don’t be mean, we three know you kiss the floor she walks on.” Rowan snorted, causing Aelin to smile more. “And if you are wondering, I’ve been thinking about the process too, I promise.”

Rowan grinned, opening his mouth to say something. In a matter of seconds, however, the grin became a frown and he sighed. “I can’t ask it with this thing here. She’s one year old, it’s awkward.”

Aelin clamped her lips together, smirking as she winked at Rowan. “The answer is yes, if you were about to ask what I think you were. Unfortunately you’ll have to wait until this one goes to sleep to be sure. She’ll follow you all evening.”

Rowan huffed half heartedly, walking up to the sofa and sitting down, Fleetfoot resting against his chest.

Aelin snorted, looking at him as she kept standing. The soft smile returned to her lips and, this time, when Rowan raised his eyebrows, his smile matched hers. “What?”

“I love you.” She said simply, walking up to him. She stood in between his legs, one of his hands gripping the back of her thigh as he looked up at her. “And I actually wish you could live with us here. Halloween was fucking shit to spend alone, and you probably will leave by Sunday meaning that I’ll be here alone for Christmas because there is no way I’d make you come back here a week after leaving, and I need to keep the gallery open.”

“Ace…” Rowan brushed his thumb against her skin.

“Long distance relationship fucking sucks.” She mumbled.

Rowan sighed. “Come here.” Aelin sat on the sofa, legs over his lap as he put his arm around her shoulders. Aelin rested her head, looking up at him. He bent down, kissing her softly. “I love you too. And I wish we could have done our Halloween marathon together with copious amounts of candy while we wore those ridiculous pumpkin pajamas, but—“

Aelin immediately sat up, eyes wide and mouth pulled into a smile. “Let’s do it.”

“You didn’t let me finish. And what?”

“Let’s do it. There is a store by the end of the street and all the Halloween decorations are in the attic. I have the movies and the pajamas are probably with the stuff you left in Chicago when you went to Boston.”

Rowan’s brows furrowed. “Ace, it’s December. We can’t celebrate Halloween in December.”

“Yes, we can.” Aelin announced, grinning at him. Rowan shook his head, letting out a huff before nodding.

“Very well.”

Aelin squealed, throwing her arms around Rowan’s neck. He laughed, hugging her back by the waist. Even Fleetfoot raised her head, barking excitedly.

“Ok, so I’ll look for the pajamas in that mess of boxes and you’ll take Fleetfoot to the store.” Aelin said, getting up. Rowan nodded, holding Fleetfoot like a sack of potatoes. Aelin eyed him, shaking her head. “Thinking of you as a father is terrifying.”

Rowan grinned, walking to the door to grab Fleetfoot’s leash. “We’ll be fucking amazing parents, what are you talking about?”

Aelin snorted, walking up to him and placing tow quick kisses to his jaw. “I’ll also take a quick shower. Bring anything we used to buy during college.”

Rowan nodded, opening the door. “Fucking shit, I never forget how fucking cold this town is, and yet I’m always surprised.”

As he left, Aelin ran upstairs, opening boxes upon boxes until she found the pajamas.

She grinned, they were fucking ridiculous.

Aelin had gotten them in a Halloween fair during freshman year of college. At that time, she wasn’t dating Rowan yet, but they had… something. It was strange overall, but allowed them to spend an ungodly amount of time together. When Aelin won one of those hoops games, she chose the stupidest thing she could find. It turns out it was a couples’ matching pajamas— the thing was one piece for each, bright orange with a series of small pumpkins all over it. The hood was green and with a brown thing on top.

It was horrendous and Aelin had to physically force Rowan into them before it became a joke for them.

She then ran to the bathroom, taking a quick shower in the hopes of being ready by the time Rowan came back with Fleetfoot. Although rushed, by the time Aelin went downstairs, Rowan had already arrived back. He even had the time to go to the attic to grab the Halloween decoration boxes.

He looked her up and down when she cam down the stairs, a smile overtaking his lips. “You look ridiculous.”

Aelin grinned, throwing him his ridiculous piece of clothing. “And naked underneath. Now go change.”

Rowan looked her up and down once more, something different in his pine green eyes. When Fleetfoot barked again, he simply sighed, going to the bathroom. “I hate your dog.”

“Our dog.” Aelin singsonged.

For the rest of the night, they put up the Halloween decorations with the Christmas ones, making the townhouse look strangely funny. They sat down to watch the classic movies they always did, eating a whole bowl of candy together. Rowan wasn’t the biggest fan of sweets, but he always opened an exception for Aelin during Halloween.

It was around three in the morning when they finished the fourth movie. Fleetfoot was snoring soundly at their feet, Aelin’s whole body pressed against Rowan’s as he hugged her.

“Want to know something terrifying?” Rowan whispered against her ear, teeth brushing the lobe.

Aelin smiled, still staring at the screen showing the fifth movie beginning. “Huh?”

“We’ll have to clean all this up tomorrow. And take down the Halloween decorations because I won’t celebrate Christmas in a house full of Halloween shit.”

It took Aelin a minute to understand what he meant. She turned her face to him, hope blossoming inside her chest so fast she was almost dizzy. Her nose hit his, and her turquoise and gold eyes were staring straight into his pine green ones. “Celebrate Christmas here? As in you’ll be here a week from now?”

Rowan’s grin was huge and joyful. “Yeah. And New Year’s Eve too.”

“Ro?”

He cupped her face, thumb smoothing over the crease between her eyebrows that had formed because of the confusion. “And the rest of next year. And hopefully all years after that because I wasn’t joking about proposing to you on Christmas, so I hope you weren’t joking about me living here either.”

Aelin let out an incredulous laugh, mouth breaking into a smile as her eye watered. “If this is a joke, it’s not funny.”

“You’re looking at the new Law student in the University of Chicago.” Rowan said, laughing quietly with her. “It’ll be hard to get rid of me now, Ace.”

Aelin laughed out loud, not even remembering that Fleetfoot was sleeping near as she threw herself in Rowan’s lap, legs straddling his hips. She grabbed his face with both hands, pressing her lips against his and kissing him passionately as both of them laughed. Aelin felt as if she was in the biggest high of her life, her whole body consumed by happiness and warmth, head light and yet filled with Rowan.

“Oh my Gods.” Aelin whispered against his mouth, another laugh coming out of his, “Oh my fucking Gods.”

Rowan simply cupped her face back, fingers playing with her hair. “I know. I love you too.”

.

.

.

.

A/N: Halloween, Christmas and Rowaelin. My three favorite things. Thank you so much for this ask, you have no idea how i squealed when I read it! About the kinktober1: I will only post either tomorrow or Wednesday. I’m so sorry, but I bombed one of my tests and tomorrow there’s like a second chance, like a make up, and I needed to study so I didn’t have time to finish. It will be Rowaelin since I’m more comfortable with them. Because of the wait, I think it’s ok I give a small spoiler about which couple tomorrow’s scene will be: Jily.

Tags:

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @lexflame @sleeping-and-books @annejulianneh111 @perseusannabeth @linshryver @mu-si-ca-l @camilamartinezdunne @dank-queen7 @minaidss @starborn-faerie-queen @booksofthemoon @loveofbooksandwine @jesstargaryenqueen @bluejaberry @multifandommessblog @yesdreamblog @superspiritfestival @ireallyshouldsleeprn @abookishfreak @faerie-queen-fireheart @maastrash @morganofthewildfire @queen-of-glass​ @julemmaes​ @heirofthenightcourt​

#rowaelin #rowaelin oneshot #rowaelin spooktober #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fluff #rowaelin au #rowaelin christmas #rowaelin halloween #spooktober #halloween #christmas #31 days of spooktober challenge #31 days of halloween #31 days of spooktober #spooky #rowan whitethorn #aelin ashryver galathynius #rowanaelin #fleetfoot #aelin #rowan #tog #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass oneshot #throne of glass au #writing #spootober writing

[rightsockjin]

Safe word: Yoongi

Summary: Everyone says that Yoongi, millionaire Casio owner, isn’t a Dom. And maybe they’re right, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t give it a try.

Rating:M

Genre: SMUT, a little fluff at the end.

Warnings: PWP. Hard dom! Yoongi! choking, shibary (Artful rope tying), graphic descriptions of sexual intercourse. Slight nipple play. Biting. licking. degradation. Pain. reader is slightly hurt but nothing horrible.

Word count: 3,968

Author’s note: Usually, I'm not into hard dom anyone but for some reason, when I saw this Yoongi in the music video, it awaked something I couldn’t quiet until it was written. You’re welcome.

“Fuck,” you whimpered as his hand made its way into your hair. He pulled at the roots, tangling his long pretty fingers in the locks. Your head was pulled back so that you could see the high ceilings of the casino. Your mouth hung open, your neck stretched to the point of pain. Your chest heaved as you desperately tried to suck in air. Tears pooled in the corners of your eyes.

“Did I fucking say you could speak,” he growled in your ear as he pulled your hair harder. Tighter. His other hand snaked slowly up your body, grazing over the curves on your chest then stopping exactly at your neck. His fingers wrapped loosely around it.

You tried to speak, tried to move your lips but all thoughts were absent from your mind. A tear ran down your cheek and into your hairline. Yoongi leaned in and licked it off your cheek before he bit roughly at the swell of your skin.

“What? Can’t speak now? Cat got your tongue?” He jolted your head as if to get your attention. As if your attention was anywhere but on the man and his silver tongue that was currently licking lightly up the side of your jaw.

“Answer me when I speak to you,” he groaned in your ear pulling your head so that it rested on his shoulder.

“I-” his hand on your neck started to tighten, your eyes widened.

“What’s that baby,” he asked, suddenly very soft. Your heart slowed slightly, the glimpse of the care and affection that he had for you shining through for a split second. He kissed your pulse point. Your body was tense. Then his fingers tightened more and more around your neck.

“Say it again,” he whispered.

“I-I…eugh,” you were light headed. The edges of your vision began to blur.

“What? Is my baby dumb?”

He let go of your throat, air flooded your body in a split second. Your body relaxed. All of your muscles felt weak.

“Would you look at that,” Yoongi said from behind you. You could feel his erection against your ass. The thin layer of fabric from your dress doing nothing to create a barrier.

“I didn’t realize my slut was mute.”

Without warning, he pushed you off his lap. Your knees hit the floor, strewn with paperwork that he’s swept off his desk, with a force that you knew would bruise later but you didn’t have time to dwell on it. Yoongi was kneeling in front of you. A glint of amusement on his features.

“Did that hurt?”

You didn’t answer, knowing from his previous statements that he wanted you silent.

“Are you deaf too?” He asked, a genuine curiosity on his features, like he wasn’t sure what was canon.

When you only looked at him expectantly, his confusion melted and his resolve returned.

“Fine. Don’t speak. If I hear one damn noise from your lips, there’s going to be hell to pay. Got it?”

You blinked at him. Fear coursed through your body but you couldn’t deny that his authoritative tone aroused you nearly as much as scared you.

He stood suddenly, your head followed as he sat back on his desk. He pushed aside a couple of pens so he could sit more comfortably. Slowly, almost like he was teasing you, he unbuckled his black belt. The gold buckle glinted in the faint lights.

He ripped it out of the loops of his pants and bent in half. With the loop he’d created, he tapped your neck and chin. The smell of leather hit your nostrils. Expensive. You knew as much. He tapped you chin twice more before he gestured with his chin for you to stand.

You did so on wobbly legs. Your heels felt uneven under your feet and you regretted wearing the highest and sexiest pair you owned.

He lightly traced over your shoulder, then your arm, then your hand with the belt. It was smooth and a little warm. When it reached your fingers, you lightly grasped the leather and he used it to pull you closer. A devilish smirk adorned his face. His sweet lips pulled up into a small smile.

It almost made you forget where you were and what was happening. You almost dropped the submissive act and wrapped your arms around his neck so you could kiss him. His eyes were filled with genuine adoration. Like he couldn’t believe that you were there. Physically in existence. But then it was gone and his features hardened once more.

“You’re gonna be a good little hooker and do what I ask of you. Understand?”

You could hear the smile in his voice. Like he was laughing at you. At his own audacity. He licked his lips and gave you a couple of seconds as if he was waiting for his orders to seep into your consciousness before he pushed you back slightly and unbuttoned his grey pants. Without hesitation, he pulled his erect penis out of his briefs and began to slowly stroke it. You swallowed hard. Your mouth watering at what little you could see. He smirked.

“Is this what you wanted baby? Hm? Is this what you asked for?”

A bead of precum glistened on the very tip of his member. The temptation to reach out and touch it yourself was maddening but you didn’t have permission. So you waited, your hands clenched at your sides.

He stopped moving his hand, confusion once again on his features when you said nothing. He raised an eyebrow but realization dawned on his face. A cute, panicked expression replaced the old one. He cleared his throat.

“What are you waiting for? Suck you dumb bitch.”

He braced himself. As if he expected you to hit him but when all you did was kneel before him, your skin throbbing from the impact of your fall from earlier, and leaned forward, he relaxed.

With just the tip of your tongue, you drew small shapes on the tip of his erection. He mewled, taking deep breaths and choking on them as he tried to breath out. Little ‘ugh’s of pleasure escaped his baby lips. Smooth and pretty. Like music to your ears. His eyes were shut. Like the visual of you was too much to handle. The feeling itself was already much too stimulating for him.

You licked slowly up to where the precum had been. It sat patiently waiting for you to claim it. And claim it you did. You flattened your tongue over the tip to make sure you collected every drop of it.

“Augh, that’s fucking it,” he moaned, his hand finding your hair once again. This time, it wasn’t as harsh and you found yourself missing the roughness he had displayed before.

Hoping to push him a little, you wrapped your mouth around his tip, just the tip, and sucked lightly. You looked up at him, pleading with your soft eyes as you swirled your tongue around it.

For only a second, you saw his expression. His eyes were wide, like he was caught off guard. His pupils were blown wide, his lips were parted in a silent ‘o’.  It was only a second, before he threw his weight back onto his arms. His head hung limply on his shoulders. He was so sensitive. So turned on. It made you feel powerful.

You took more of his member in your mouth, slowly, torturously. It was starting to get difficult by around the middle. You reached you and wrapped your small hand around the base to help you steady and push more in.

His hand in your hair tightened, then without warning, he yanked you off his penis. He looked furious. Lust was still prominently featured in his eyes but his lips were pulled in a snarl.

“When did I say you could touch me? Hm? Did I ever fucking say you could use your hands? Do you not know how to do as you’re told?”

He pushed you away fully, pushing his dick back into his pants. He didn’t bother to button them up. Instead he let them hang open, clinging to his hips slightly, threatening to fall. You braced yourself on your hands. Watching as he bent down to one of the many drawers on the desk, the one that was locked, and ripped it open.

“On the desk,” he growled. When you didn’t move, he looked over his shoulder at you.

“Now!”

You scrambled off the floor and fumbled onto the desk, where he had previously been. Your legs hung off the edge uselessly. Your breath was coming out in pants. Yoongi stood suddenly. In his hand, a bundle of silky looking red rope.

Your heart hammered against your chest. Excitement coursed through your veins.

“How tight is that dress? Can you bend your leg?”

Without wavering, you pulled your tight, black dress up your thighs and pulled one of your legs onto the smooth surface of the desk top. Now slightly exposed, Yoongi couldn’t help but look between your legs. You watched him stare, knowing that the thinnest silk fabric was the only barrier between the open air and your core. Something you had worn just for him to see.

He seemed frozen for a second, admiring the juncture between your legs. His grip on the rope tightened and it was only when you whimpered slightly that he snapped back to reality.

“Did you just-…” he raked his eyes over your face, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

Yoongi blinked at you after he finished speaking, again waiting for something that didn’t seem to come.

“You can speak now. Understand? I need you to tell me if I’m tying these right, or if they’re too tight.”

“Okay,” you agreed, watching him unwind the rope nervously. You couldn’t help the smile on your face as he began to wrap the rope around your bent leg so it stayed that way. He wound it slowly under your knee then tied a sturdy knot on the inside of your legs. He repeated the process once more, but lower on your shin and thigh. Then one final time close to your ankle.

There was still a lot of rope left. You wondered if he was going to just ignore it and stop where he had on your leg. For a beginner, you thought he’d done a decent job. You would be pretty satisfied with his work.

“Is this alright?”

“ It's fine,” you assured him, your eyes bright with enthusiasm.

“Okay I need you to put your hands behind your back,” he instructed. Your eyes widened.

“Yeah alright,” you said, obediently sitting up. Without waiting, he wrapped the rope once more around your ankle then, with a good amount of pull, he dragged it to your wrists. He wrapped it around them a couple of times before stringing it through and tying another nice knot to hold the bond in place.

You couldn’t see what he was doing anymore but you felt him tying more knots up your arms. Your chest pushed forward as he got to your shoulders. He slipped the remainder of the rope under your breasts, still covered by your dress. He tied the final knot in the center of your chest then stepped back to fully look at you.

“How does that feel?”

You took a second to try to move. When you moved your hands behind your back, your leg was pulled back and away from the other one. Your chest was also pressed farther into the air. You had to hand it to him. This tie was smart. The more comfortable you tried to get, the less comfortable you became and the wider you were spread for him.

“Perfect,” you praised. A slight blush decorated his chubby cheeks and his smile, mostly consisting of his gums and his cute teeth, made an appearance.

“I was worried it would be too much.”

“It’s good,” you said again, “I’m impressed.”

He graced you with his smile for only a second longer. Then he was back to business and his smile thinned into a hard line.

“Great. Be a good girl and let oppa fuck your brains out.”

The abrupt change left you breathless. He pounced on you like a lion. His hands on the nape of your neck so he could push your lips to his. You let him. His teeth nibbling and biting at your lips. He sucked them into his mouth and massaged them with his tongue.

You moaned against him, your chest was pressed firmly into the dark grey vest of his suit. You desperately wanted to run your hands through the top of his hair. To touch his undercut. To pull him closer, but it was impossible and it only made you more excited.

Yoongi reached behind you and pushed your arms as far away as he could without truly hurting you. Your legs were pulled apart as far as they could be in the position you were in. your dress rose to your hips. Yoongi looked down at your exposed core. Through the thin lace, he could see the arousal dripping from your core.

“You know just how to make a man feel good about himself baby,” he chuckled, licking his lips.

“Now the question is,” he ran two fingers up your clothed slit, “How are we going to get these pretty panties off?”

He pressed his finger to your entrance, some of your arousal seeped through the fabric. When he pulled away, a string of it clung to his skin.

“Fuck,” he groaned bringing his fingers up to his lips and sucking it clean off, “Mashisoyo.”

You sighed, impatient to feel something, anything that could bring you close to the edge. So much tension had been built in your body that you felt ready to burst.

“Oppa, please…”

“What do you want, baby?”

“I want you.”

Yoongi smiled sheepishly then reached behind you, grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped the side of your panties on both sides. The cold metal of the blades sent a shock through your system. A little bit of fear wiggled into you but it was sated when he set them down far enough away from both of you that they wouldn’t be a problem.

He pulled the now ruined fabric off your core. The cold air of his office hit your burning skin.

“Look at that,” he whispered pushing your thighs even further to spread your folds, “You’re dripping on my desk.”

He clicked his tongue three times then blew at your core. You winced as he smiled up at you innocently.

“We can’t have that now can we?”

He pushed his pants and his underwear down so that they rested around his thighs. The striped button up hung loosely now that it wasn’t tucked. His erection strung out in the open air, the tip red and leaking, begging to be stimulated. He took it in one of his veiny hands and without warning, he pushed the tip into your opening.

Equally blissed out moans escaped both your lips. He was big. Not huge, but big to where it stretched you a bit farther than you felt comfortable even with the wetness already making it easier for him to slip in.

Your nerves were on end. He pushed in slowly, mirroring what you had done earlier with your mouth. His brows were furrowed in concentration. He met nearly no resistance as he entered you, but your walls continued to constrict around him. As if you were already close to your end.

When his hips hit yours, you felt yourself convulse. Your body was too sensitive. Too prepared. You were reacting as if you’d been edged multiple times.

“Be a good girl,” he reminded, “and let oppa use his pretty bitch .”

Without another word or confirmation from you, he pulled out almost entirely and began to relentlessly pound into you. With every thrust, he was hitting your clit with a decent amount of force, the stripped shirt creating a friction that felt delicious against your sensitive bud. He was still holding you up with one arm wrapped around your back. The other found its way onto your chest and pulled down the fabric of your dress so that your chest was exposed to the open air. You bore no bra, as the dress itself had cups in it, so you were left bare for him.

“These are mine,” he said though you weren’t sure he was talking to you, “all for me.” He sucked a nipple into his mouth for a second just to give you a taste of the pleasure his silver tongue brought.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pounding into you and nibbling at the sensitive skin on your chest. Over his shoulder, you could see yourself and him in the reflection of the glass. His toned ass was clenched as he thrust into your core, his pants low. What you would give to be able to touch.

You then noticed yourself. The way your hair stood on end. The disheveled appearance of your makeup. He’d ruined you and all your hard work in the past thirty minutes.

“Oppa, harder,” you managed to moan.

“Scream my name,” he countered.

In a moment of rebellion, you smirked at your reflection and said, “make me.”

He stuttered in his thrusts only for a moment, before he brought his face level to yours. He was enraged.

“What did you fucking say?”

You didn’t dare speak. Your confidence dwindled.

“What did you say,” he yelled, getting closer to your face, his breath hitting your skin.

“O-oppa?”

“Again,” he snarled, starting to move again, faster and deeper than he had before. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as pleasure filled you to the brim.

“Say it or I’ll stop damn it!”

“Oppa!”

“That’s what I thought, slut.”

Little screams left your bruised lips. Adrenaline was coursing through your limbs. Your leg was falling asleep. It prickled as Yoongi thrust in and out at an inhuman speed.

“Oppa I’m…”

“You’re close?” He asked not faltering once as he leaned down to your chest again.

“Very,” you answered as he took your nipple in his lips and sucked, writing hangul on the sensitive skin.

Your body tensed suddenly. As you were about to fall over the edge, Yoongi’s hips stuttered again. He kept pushing. His lips and tongue not letting up. Your orgasm hit you with all the force of a wrecking ball. You moaned loudly, your head thrown back in ecstasy.

Your walls fluttered around his member and only then did Yoongi let go of your nipple in favor of planting open mouthed kisses on your chest.

“I’m almost done baby. Hold on,” he assured you as his speed and accuracy became questionable. He was struggling to hold you up. You tried to help by leaning on your hands, effectively opening your legs to a ridiculous angle.

“Shit, that’s it,” he groaned as he pumped himself in one more time then stilled deep in your core. His member swelled in your walls as he ejaculated warm stripes of cum into you. You counted it once, then twice, then thrice. Each time, you felt more full and wet. Each burst of ejaculation hitting your walls with a power you hadn’t felt before.

It was maybe a minute later when he finally seemed to have finished. His arms were shaking and he was sweating slightly. He was swallowing hard and breathing even harder. Panting even.

Instinctively, you tried to reach up to hold him close to you but your restraints were still in place and all you managed to do was push your breasts farther into his face.

He nuzzled into them for a second, kissing each one then kissing his way up to your lips sloppily.

“Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t ask you if that was okay.”

You giggled, pulling against the restraints again and hissing when they dug into your skin. Yoongi blinked as if aware once more. Both of you looked at your knee which was still bent up at an awkward angle. An ugly purple bruise was already forming.

Panic filled Yoongi’s eyes as he looked around for the scissors he’d used to cut your underwear off.

They were a little too far out of reach for the position you were in. Reluctantly, he pulled his slowly softening member out of your center. A thick bead of cum instantly rolled out of you. You winced at the unpleasant sensation but said nothing. Yoongi pulled his pants up and quickly buttoned them before he grabbed the scissors and ungracefully cut you out of his hold.

As the rope fell away from your skin, you felt feeling return to your leg. He cut your wrists last, then pulled the offending ropes off of you.

Carefully, he straightened your leg. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, the pain of what had just happened started to hit you.

“I overdid it, didn’t I? I’m so sorry baby,” he said opening another drawer and pulling out some wet wipes. He carefully cleaned between your legs.

“I’m so sorry! This is what I was scared of. People are going to think I beat you!”

“Yoongi,” you breathed, placing a tender hand on his shoulder, “It’s okay. I’m okay. The bruises will fade. You did well.”

“But I hurt you,” he whispered, looking into your eyes apologetically, the internal turmoil clear in his gaze.

“Not badly. If it was anything I couldn’t handle, I would have stopped you. I enjoyed it,” you affirmed.

“I don’t like how I spoke to you either,” he said, not looking at you. He seemed sheepish, embarrassed.

“Yoongi look at me,” you said, taking his head in your hands, “It was a scene. It wasn’t real. We had sex, and you said things in the moment and if I’m being honest, it was a huge turn on. I don’t regret what happened. Neither should you. You’re kind of good at this rope thing.”

Yoongi looked into your eyes, worried that you were lying for his sake, but when he saw no signs of you fibbing, he sighed and stood up straight.

“You promise?”

“Yes. I’m the one that asked you to try in the first place! I’m just glad you enjoyed it as well. You did enjoy it didn’t you?”

Still somewhat ashamed Yoongi nodded, tucking his shirt back into his pants. You watched him, wishing you could remove his shame. There was nothing to be ashamed about, when you had asked for what he’d dished.

“Thank you,” you finally said. This got his attention. His eyes wide and questioning.

“For what?”

“Indulging me. You were really hot,” you shrugged, swinging your legs even though it hurt just to make the point that you were okay.

“You’re welcome,” he relented, “but next time…let’s take it down a notch okay? I don’t want you to be really hurt.”

“If you want,” you paused, a slight bit disappointed, “but that’s what the safe word is for you know?”

“Ah right…honestly I forgot about it. I’ll try to keep it in mind for next time we do something like this. What was it again?”

Carefully, you pushed yourself off the desk and onto your unsteady feet. Yoongi wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you steady, a soft smile gracing his face as he looked at your disheveled appearance. He placed a soft kiss on your hairline before he nuzzled your skin with his nose. You giggled, planting a kiss on one of the buttons of his shirt, finally being able to touch his mused hair.

“Dynamite.”

Read the rest of the series! Here!

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