#posting this at almost 4am.... i really need someone to tell me HOW to sleep

[someoneinjersey]

A recount of my trip home

Feel free to skip if you don't want to hear about nice things, or drama, or me being contemplative about life

Got home from NJ/PA at about 4am Monday morning after setting off at 4pm Sunday. I'd intended to drive in the late afternoon because that's when I tend to become fully alert, but I was so tired from the week that I still had to stop and take a nap at a rest area on the way home (and on top of that I set my alarm for a 45 minute nap but never turned it on, so I slept in my car for over an hour and a half).

It was really amazing and good and wonderful and heartwarming to see everyone. Except mom's husband who I nearly attacked like twice while I was there, but that's besides the point. It was really good to see mom and she is actually doing AMAZING and has this new almost glow and energy about her, and she's able to do so many things post-half-successful-transplant that her doctor told her it was miraculous. However, she is so deep in her own depression and stress and pain she can't see it, and she's 62 and never learned to sort out her emotions or mental shit, so she's like ... created this reality that doesn't exist where everyone's against her and wants her abandoned in the hospital -- except the actual people at the hospital who want to get rid of her and send her home.

She got her third chance at a new liver the first full day I was there, which was Wednesday, however after taking her all the way down to the OR for prep, at 2am she was wheeled back up to the room because they decided the liver wasn't going to work for her. Of course neither her nor her husband can see ANY silver lining among the disappointment, and while I can understand that because I have been in such a dark place before (though not because of needing entirely new organs and being in a marriage to someone I hate etc), I still attempted to remind them both that that's the third candidate they had in less than two weeks so the offers are coming in MUCH faster now than they had been before the initial transplant.

Thursday morning, however, after that lack of sleep and the stress of waiting to find out if it would fall through or not followed by the reality that it did fall through, and having to deal with her fuck ass husband and his entire personality and him giving the nurses incorrect information as well as my mom catastrophizing every single thing because she was exhausted and upset, I had to leave despite promising I would stay all day. The need to escape was dire, as I was slipping into panic attack mode and wanted desperately to just get in my car and drive home to Ranger's Rest.

At least my mom "allowed" me to leave because I stressed how much it was all setting me off, telling her it was primarily her husband and the exhaustion, so I went back to my aunt and uncle's place, ate lunch and saw a few cousins and met a few that were born after I moved away which was nice, then I slept for 3.5 hours without moving a muscle. I came back to the hospital that night until mom got her nightly meds then left so I could get some sleep before driving back to my home town to collect some of my stuff and see more family and friends.

Then I stayed up talking with my Aunt until 2am about the insanity that had gone on that morning and was too tired to go back to mom and her husband's house to get my stuff. We agreed he'd take photos of what was left, since I didn't actually leave much, and I could just tell him what I wanted to keep and he'd mail it down to me and throw out the rest. I took the deal so I didn't have to interact with him any more than necessary and so I could sleep more because holy shit, I was so bone tired.

So Friday I skipped stuff collecting and headed down to the shore (later than I wanted because I was dragging ass) to have lunch with another aunt and uncle I hadn't seen. I stayed longer than intended because we were gabbing and it was really nice. I'd planned on making everyone a lasagna dinner when I got back to where I was staying but time got away from me particularly when I met up with Nicole. We hung out for a few hours at Starbucks and in my car in the parking lot and then in her driveway, initially planning on going to look at the ocean but I realized that wasn't as important as just hanging out.

I didn't realize how much I missed my extended family and my friends (or I mean, at least Nicole who was the only one I was able to see as Sarah's son was sick and I couldn't risk picking up extra germs lol) until I saw them again. I managed to keep my shit together but I honestly wanted to weep seeing everyone again. It felt like yeah, I hadn't seen anyone in three years, but also, it felt like I'd just seen them maybe a few weeks ago. It was the most warm and lovely feeling I can remember having in a long, long time. NIkki if you do read this I hope you know I love you and I treasure our friendship so much <3 It's been 28 years since we were in Mrs Gioiella's class together O_O

Tried to see more cousins on Saturday but it just didn't work out with scheduling, plus some of the kiddos were sick and again, I couldn't risk bringing any extra germs around my mom in the hospital (not to mention my uncle is also immuno-compromised and can't risk it either, even with his own grandkids. So I left the cards I'd brought for them with stickers in them and spent the afternoon/evening at the hospital.

Where I had to try my best to talk my mom off her delulu cliff and gently walk her back to reality, which she didn't like and was not receptive to because I wasn't agreeing with everything she said or how she was interpreting things said to her by family members. Went home that night and things seemed better but Sunday morning it was all back on and her husband was present, too. The motherfucker tried to scold me?? Or something?? We were trying to have yet another come-back-from-delulu-land conversation which was making my mom angry, especially because I was being so calm and was using things I'd learned in therapy to try to talk with her. She absolutely hated that. Anyway he came back from pissing or getting coffee or trying to bullshit with the nurses who all know he's full of shit or whatever it was he was doing and was like "I DON'T WANT ANY FIGHTING. POSITIVITY ONLY." and other nonsense because he doesn't know how to be a human being or have actual working close relationships with people. And then he went on about how my aunt (who was being made the scapegoat because A my mom was misinterpreting ENTIRELY what she said to her and B she's the only person who doesn't yes mom's husband to death just to get him to shut the fuck up, and actually challenges him on his bullshit so he hates her) wasn't blood so she doesn't matter and he literally said and I quote, "Her husband never taught her to shut her mouth."

I swear to god I deserve a medal for remaining so calm in that moment, but I very, VERY pointedly made a show of it by closing my eyes, taking deep breaths, and speaking softly when I said things like, "We aren't fighting, we're talking. This isn't about Aunt. We're just talking about feelings." Then I wanted to help by talking to mom's nurse about maybe jotting down notes whenever they came in or a doctor came in to help her remember what was said, because mom feels like she can't do it herself, and her husband again was trying to control me or tell me what to do or whatever by insisting it would never work, don't even bring it up, don't bother the nurses, DON'T BOTHER THE NURSES!!!!!!! Until, when I kept calmly insisting, "Well I'm going to try while I'm here anyway," mom finally spoke up and told him to let me try. Let me try. "Let." As if I'm not almost 37 fucking years old, her daughter, and no relation to his narcissistic ass.

Look. I'll admit I'm grateful that my mom can convince him to pay for things that I/we need down here, like our water, and tires for my car so I could visit, and slipping me money for gas and parking and tolls. I am grateful for that even though I know he's not doing it out of the kindness of his heart. It's still money I didn't have that helped me take the trip and take it safely. But he's a phony piece of shit and I don't think I could handle another visit that involved him, and I was reminded of why I had to move away in the first place by being in both his presence and my mom's presence. I am doing so well right now and I never, EVER would have gotten to this point if I was still there. I'm willing to help my mom divorce him and get her moved down here or something, but even my aunt said it would just be a transfer of her thinking she was helpless and me having to do everything for her, rather than her husband. And before this trip, I thought that wouldn't happen, but now I think that's exactly what will happen. I'll still help her get divorced but she really needs to re-learn how to be independent because she's been crippled by her marriage.

So I left Sunday, got home early Monday, and today (yesterday as of posting?) I had my iron infusion early in the morning. Over six hours of riveting life adventure, and by that I mean receiving steroids and iron via IV and trying to read my book and playing on my phone and falling asleep and sweating my ass off because they keep the room so warm for the people there getting chemo and as much as I can actually chit chat with strangers easily I didn't want to be part of the group that we all found ourselves in trying to make conversation.

Anyway. It was also Kate's birthday so I got her an asshole birthday banner and exactly what she asked for (a Harry Styles coloring book and pack of crayons) and I got us food from our favorite local pizza place after we tried and tried to see how we could make getting Olive Garden from Asheville work with her working a double and me being dead ass tired still. But we had a good dinner and she felt like she had a good day so that's all that matters.

I go back to work tomorrow and I work 5 days in a row so next week I might be full on dead again. I have to remember to take my work keys with me tomorrow afternoon or I'm fucked to close the store. I really want to help my store be successful so I'm motivated to get in there and help us get a system going we can all work well in as we approach the holidays.

Next week is my birthday and honestly no one really ever does much for me on my birthdays so I kinda just ... do whatever on them. I have the day off so at least I can sleep or lounge or whatever as much as I want but otherwise it's just a day I don't really enjoy because I stopped feeling special on my birthday a long time ago. 37 isn't a big deal, just a year closer to 40 and thus towards death. i'm not depressed about it, I just ... I dunno I always just remember the way people I'd make an effort for wouldn't make an effort for me, so it does leave me just a little bummed.

Anyway that was honestly just like a GLIMPSE of my trip and its insanity and joy and misery etc. Thanks, if you made it this far.

[briannabakerarchive]

Is Tommaso... You know... Jealous? Bonus, Tommaso finally joining the couple for a second:

#leonardo #leonardo rai #leonardoedit #weloveperioddrama #onlyperioddramas #perioddramasource #perioddramacentral #perioddramaedit #mine #posting this at almost 4am.... i really need someone to tell me HOW to sleep

[catch-the-wind]

when reader is sick hc's

finally posting writing here so true

n e ways okay so i’m brainrotting about the genshin charas taking care of their s/o’s when they’re sick 🥺 and now i'm feeling sick, sigh

ohm and sulien ambros belong to @teyvattherapist! they're such good chara's, i know i'm writing them here but i deffo recommend reading up on them

okay here u go, have some hc's that are kinda sorta long and by that i mean 2.5k- i haven't proofread this bc it's 4am and im going to BED but if i write for any other chara's i'll post a second part <3 mwah

tags: gn!reader, diluc x reader, kaeya x reader, jean x reader, lisa x reader, albedo x reader, dainsleif x reader, tartaglia x reader, ohm ambros x reader, sulien ambros x reader, soft bean hours

diluc

is not working or traveling when his partner is sick

absolutely makes them soup and hot tea and drinks

he’s trying to make them food but he’s not the best cook so he’s asking adelinde for help

absolutely asks jean, barbara, and ohm for help while his partner is sleeping but he’s so awkward LMAO

was absolutely frantic the first day he found out his partner was sick tho, he made them come over to the winery so they could sleep there and he can take care of them <3

absolutely lied about what room was his so they slept in his bed

“hmm this guest room is so furnished diluc are all your rooms like this” and no, no they are not, this room is his, bestie

diluc slept on a sofa in his bedroom and did work on the table that was supposed to be for flowers. kinda stressed over abyss order locations but was more worried ab his partner being okay so he was distracted

he just put the flowers on his nightstand for his partner to see when they woke up <3

gives his partner forehead kisses because they won’t let him kiss them on the lips and he gives them the gentlest cheek kisses while they sleep

also gives his partner his clothes to wear <3

cuddles them and reads to them when they’re awake and TEMPLE KISSES OH MY GOD

kaeya comes over because he’s worried his brother and his brother’s s/o haven’t been seen in a little while

n e way, diluc gets sick after his partner gets better and they nursed each other back to health

kaeya

like diluc, he took off work so he could take care of his s/o i,mediately after he found out they were sick

wouldn’t force them to stay at his place tho, he’d probably let them recover in their own place

but he might make them go to the kof hq or the cathedral just so they can be taken care of by a proper healer

he absolutely soothes their fevers and stuff w cryo and also the man can heal himself w his elem skill ofc he can fix someone if he tries hard enough <3

he gives kisses no matter how much his partner says not to but he’ll also give them butterfly kisses so it’s soft moments too~ sigh, ur too cute alberich

asks ohm and barbara and albedo and lisa for potions and such to help his partner feel better but he’s really lowkey so he doesn’t seem SUPER worried

he just hates seeing his partner not feeling so well </3

refreshes his partner’s vase of flowers at their bedside every day

brings home work so he can watch over his partner. he can’t cook super well either so he asks for help and brings stuff home from good hunter too

jean was okay to let kaeya off of work and diluc would never admit it (man practically swore everyone to secrecy smh) but he helped take up some of kaeya’s duties in his stead

and kae, the alcoholic, didn’t even drink while his partner was sick bc he was lowkey worried they would need his help w smth and he didn’t want to be drunk just in case <3

many cuddles despite protests of getting him sick <3

jean

absolutely uses her healer skills to make her partner feel better

panicked when they were still sick and thought it was her fault </3 she asked barbara and ohm for help and they just told jean to relax a bit bc her partner was sick and it wasn’t going to be a quick fix

wanted to take off work but didn’t, so she just brought her work with her

kaeya and ohm very kindly took up her other duties where she had to leave so she could be w her partner

her partner is staying in the kof hq where they get access to ohm and barbara comes to visit <3 but also so that jean can sleep comfortably enough close by bc you cannot tell me this woman does not sometimes sleep in her office or the library and barely makes it to the kof dormitories sometimes

she’s so worried the entire time, she’s probably got a few gray hairs and a new frown line smh

she has clothes that aren’t her work clothes???? it’s so foreign seeing her in stuff like pajamas. you didn’t even know jean owned pajamas

jean sets them up in her bed at home (yeah she has a place outside of the kof hq??? it’s surprising) but it’s a big bed so they can rest and she’ll have the lamp on her side on while she sits up and does work

absolutely dotes on them. she’s good at making foods that make them feel better, she’s just a good healer that way <3

albedo, klee, venti, kaeya, lisa, and ohm all come over to check on jean and co and make sure everyone is doing okay <3 lots of food brought

if jean was asked to sing to her partner normally, she probably wouldn’t bc she’d probably get embarrassed but i think she probably sounds v good and venti would give her his lyre to try out a musical instrument too. but also she’d read to her partner and they’d probably fall asleep together uwu

lisa

works part time hours at the library so she can go visit her s/o

probably asks them to stay at the kof hq for easier access to medical assistance and plus she’s almost always there

“cutie” but worried and very 🥺 (pleading emoji)

makes soup and potions and reads to her partner until they fall asleep

also super playful omg she’s still got a smile on and is full of affection while she walks her fingers up her partner’s arm to their face so she can cup their cheek

she’ll make her partner laugh and smile and blush even when they’re sick, but she makes them laugh until they cough sometimes and immediately feels so bad

jean, barbara, kaeya, albedo and ohm all come to visit with different foods and soups and medicines and such

klee comes knocking and gives lisa some good fisherman’s toast and asks lisa’s s/o if they want to hug dodoco b/c that always makes klee feel better

purple roses galore, lisa has them in her partner’s room and they’ve got a potion to make the. uh. sniffer? to make the sniffer feel better. don’t ask me how, idk but she would find a way to make them physically feel better with flowers

reads to her partner ofc, and she tells them stories ab her own life and time at sumeru sans the crazies

worried looks when her s/o is sleeping but also the softest smiles when they wake up pls-

albedo

cutest lil frown on his face when he finds out his partner is sick

immediately they are taken home and he’s testing to confirm what’s wrong w them and what he can do to speed up their recovery

he’s more distracted than usual at work but he’s coming over to your place all the time w what paperwork he can do

also sketches his partner while they don’t know. he’s got lots of beautiful candids of his partner sleeping, looking out the window, falling asleep, reading, even drinking water. he’s made the most mundane things look captivating

kaeya and ohm come to check on albedo when he doesn’t show up for work after a few days and it’s bc he’s taking care of his s/o with food and soup and alchemical potions and shit. and when kae and ohm come in, they find his partner opening the door wrapped in a blanket while albedo is asleep cuddling the pillow they left bc he stayed up the night before making soup and reading to them

klee has camped out on his partner’s couch, she helps w the cooking too~ she absolutely lets them hug dodoco and gives them a treasure to feel better too LOL

many kisses from klee and albedo, and they also go out to get treats for albedo’s partner too

domestic albedo cooking in his partner’s kitchen and for once it isn’t some alchemical potion that he might blow up the stove with

tartaglia

takes off work entirely but BOY OH BOY is he stir crazy smh

brings his partner to his apartment to rest <3

he’s so worried ab his s/o that he makes all the sick ppl food the first day, orders from wanmin restaurant when his partner wants smth different, and also gets toys and such to entertain them otherwise

also reads to his partner but, again, he gets stir crazy after a while

absolutely does workouts and katas in the living room and phew shirtless tartaglia working out? gets the heart rate up for sure ahem

rushes to his partner tho omg- need soup? water? a trip to the bathroom? another blanket? he goes to them the MOMENT he hears them moving around. absolutely dotes on them <3

his family knows ab his partner and he’s probably written letters ab them being sick~ his family sent snezhnayan herbs and flowers and medicines and such

zhongli comes around because he wants sugar daddy!tartaglia with tea and medicine from bubu pharmacy. hu tao is in tow with well wishes and a “hope i don’t find you at work!” which is. a little worrying because aren’t you just a little sick-

many kisses from tartaglia because he is Needy and he’ll absolutely get sick from cuddling his partner while they sleep

also he’ll probably just like. envelop his partner while they sleep. they’re all cuddled into him and he’s actually so warm it’s nice bc they’re cold w a fever and he’s living for comforting them

he’s so worried tho, he’s got the frowny face and he’s so adorable but he just doesn’t want his partner to feel sick

dainsleif

the man camps in ruins, he’s going to his partner’s house smh

he doesn’t go into the church either LOL so expect him in his partner’s home making dinner and doing their grocery shopping thanks

he would get ohm and barbara to come over tho <3 “fix them please” but also “how can i fix them”

is so dead set on making sure his partner takes their medicine at the right times, he’s so soft for them and them alone

cooks soup and old recipes he barely remembers from khaenri’ah. he doesn’t really get sick, so he doesn’t remember these ones too clearly. deffo brings back old memories he’d long forgotten

reads to his partner and tells them old stories of how the world used to be, his travels, gives them the gossip on a certain khaenri’ahn but doesn’t give away the name

ohm comes over with medicine and lollipops bc dain is so unlikely to go to the cathedral to get barbara smh

but also dain, so self-sufficient, is unlikely to want to ask for help, so ohm just goes to help anyway

dain with the old khaenri’ahn lullabies and tucking his partner into his arms and singing quietly while he holds them and rocks them to sleep

dain is immortal, he’s giving his partner kisses bc “i’m immortal, ofc i won’t get sick”

he got sick

but his s/o nursed him back to health and then there were smooches the end

ohm ambros

the doctor with his ill lover oh my god

he’s frowny, he’s taking care of his partner at his home in springvale and his home clinic is open to everyone else. but everyone knows his partner is the first priority LOL

kaeya and albedo come over to see if ohm is okay or if his house needs to be checked up on. they’re wondering if he went on a last-minute expedition to sumeru and didnt tell them

diluc comes over too, he’s just checking up on his best friend but he’s also stealing a cherry lollipop smh. he heard from kae that ohm’s partner is sick tho, so he brings some soup and good food over from adelinde. he also brings some of his own specialty food tho, the once upon a time in mondstadt <3

sulien sending letters to his big brother to see if his brother’s s/o is okay

ohm is also just super protective of his partner, there are not many people who come into his life who he loves and lets in in the first place. he’s absolutely trying to heal them with his own vitality, so their recovery is much shorter than initially expected

barbara also comes over w jean to check up on ohm and co, complete w a goody basket of soup, a teddy bear, flowers, and books

ohm reading to his partner <3 he’s got such a soothing voice even if his accent is wack LMAO. he’s reading stories and even his paperwork because just his presence is comforting

he puts his hands on his partner’s forehead to soothe the fever goodbye

ohm will not sing for his s/o simply bc he doesn’t think he sounds v good. and he probably doesn’t but it would be so cute to hear him try and please ohm? 🥺

n e way i want smooches idc if i’m sick KISS ME OHM AMBROS

sulien ambros

when he finds out his partner is sick, the man blinks like twice and then suggests so calmly that they go to his apartment in liyue

man does not sleep normally, he’s just going to nurse his partner back to health and read during their recovery. fruit tart can cover his duties for him <3

sulien cooks for his partner tho, he’s making soup and stuff and getting medicine from bubu’s pharmacy. he’s also picking up books on the way home but some of them are to be read to his partner so it’s okay-

like tartaglia, sulien works out while his partner rests and goes to them if he hears them moving around. he’s reading to his partner and not so frowny, but the slightest furrow of this man’s brow is already such a big expression of his concern <3

sends letters to ohm asking for advice ab how to help his partner feel better. ohm just sends a letter back with “i’m coming” and shows up within the day LMAO

reads to his partner, and the monotony of his voice is soothing and lulls them to sleep. he just looks at them affectionately (well affectionate for him) and presses a kiss to their forehead before finishing the story on his own and in his head

tartagalicious comes over and brings food, flowers and a teddy bear with some of sandrone’s paperwork but he sends a smile to sulien’s partner with some well wishes

scara comes over too just to visit and check to see where sandrone is, but scara is a grumpy bean so he just says “feel better” all brooding and like it’s a command to one of the fatui subordinates LOL

sulien like ohm uses his cold hands to soothe his partner’s fever and also gives them forehead kisses <3

Edit: a link to part 2

#genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #jean x reader #lisa x reader #albedo x reader #dainsleif x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #ohm ambros x reader #sulien ambros x reader #lane's ocs #genshin fluff #hc's #lyz.writes #i'm finally posting here omg #so many tags... #goodNIGHT

[primroseyunho]

burnin' up

❀ yunho x reader, brother!seonghwa

❀ summer is heating up and your broken air conditioning unit lands you with a worried older brother and yet it’s someone else who seems to be the most concerned for you.

❀ warnings/tags: college au (not that it rlly matters though tbh), suggestive comments but nothing explicit, cursing, big brother seonghwa, fainting but it isn’t descriptive, i haven’t written anything like this for over a year so uhhhh it kinda sucks and also it's unedited bc it's almost 4am whoops

❀ a/n: it’s hot as hell in nyc and i have no air conditioning (so pls send ur thoughts and prayers to me) but i wanted to write and that’s how this happened so yeah lmao. also stfu this gif of yunho lives rent fucking free in my head why does he look like everyone's dream boyfriend please let me know what you think - i’d love to hear any feedback ( ⸝•ᴗ•⸝)♡

❀ word count: 2380

and one final shoutout to @luvanter who gave me the push i needed to post this and has also always been so lovely to me

“I am sorry, you what now?”

“Listen, it’s really not a big dea-”

“You’re telling me you got so hot in your apartment because your air conditioner broke that you passed out on the floor of your apartment for almost four hours - alone, I might add - and you really have the audacity to try to tell me that’s not a big deal?!”

So maybe telling your older brother about your morning adventure to the floor of your apartment wasn’t your brightest moment but in your defence, finals just ended and they stole your last surviving brain cell in their departure. It was as if Seonghwa’s mom radar had been pinging off the charts from the moment you stepped foot in the cafe with him taking one look at you before ordering you to sit down at an empty table while he ordered what seemed to be one of every baked good they had to offer and an iced tea for the both of you. You would’ve preferred a cold brew if you were being totally honest, but you knew better than to try to fight him once you saw the hard glare he was sending you from the counter. Taking a glance in one of the decorative antique mirrors the local joint had on the wall, you couldn’t really fault your brother for his reaction to you because, for lack of a better word, you looked like total shit. Settling into the worn armchair, you began fiddling with a loose strand on the cushion beside you as you awaited the inevitable scolding you were in for.

“Okay, okay - I get it,” you relented as Seonghwa stared you down looking bug-eyed at your previous deflection, “perhaps that wasn’t my greatest moment - but! At least I know now and I can just make sure to always keep my fans on and drink loads of water.” You offered what you hoped to be a convincing smile, but even you knew it was a weak resolution to your predicament.

“Yeah, no, that’s not happening. I’ve listened to enough of your nightmare landlord stories to know this isn’t getting fixed any time soon and I refuse to leave my baby sister to boil to death in her cooker of an apartment.”

You rolled your eyes at Seonghwa’s dramatic metaphor but couldn’t find it in you to fight him. The past few weeks had slowly been chipping away at you and you were more exhausted than you were willing to let on. This episode with your broken air conditioner was only the latest in a series of mishaps you had been trying to push through without asking for help and you were dangerously close to reaching the end of your rope.

“And what exactly would you propose I do instead?”

“Just stay with me and Yunho until it’s sorted out. You can sleep on the spare mattress in his room that’s left from before San moved out.”

Seonghwa’s look of worry was tainted ever so slightly with a smirk now as you promptly choked on your drink at the sound of his suggestion.

“Are you sure I’m the one we should be worrying about? Because you sound like you’ve lost your fucking mind.” You managed to rasp out, still recovering from spitting your drink out.

“What are you talking about? It’s a perfectly reasonable idea.” He replied, the smirk now the prominent expression on his face.

“Yeah sure, except for the part where I have a humiliating crush on your roommate that may or may not have developed into actual f- words,” you whisper-shouted at him, “and you’re my brother? Shouldn’t you, I don’t know, not be encouraging me to sleep in the same room as a boy?”

“Okay firstly, did you seriously censor the word feelings out loud? What kind of internet crap is that? Is that what kids do these days?” He looked at you with the faint look of dismay that he always has when hearing slang words he didn’t understand. “And secondly, it’s not the 1950s anymore, who am I to dictate your love life? If anything, Yunho is the ideal guy for me to put you with - he’s my best friend and the literal definition of boyfriend material, not to mention the part where he likes you back, idiot.” He took a bite of his cake as he gave you a pointed look.

“That’s wishful thinking and you know it, Seonghwa, don’t put ideas in my head that will lead to heartbreak. Maybe he has a soft spot for me, but he’s like that with all his dongsaengs, I’m no different from them.” You mumble out as you turn your attention to the floor, missing the exaggerated eye roll your brother was sending you.

It wasn’t exactly difficult for you to develop feelings for Yunho. Your brother wasn’t lying when he called Yunho boyfriend material. The first thing that entered your mind when you thought of Yunho was soft smiles. He perpetually looked so gentle and even when he got more boisterous when hanging out with you and the rest of the boys, he always approached you with such care. Somehow he managed to both look like a puppy personified and a greek sculpture come to life. One second he’d be looking at you with the biggest doe eyes you’d ever seen and the next he’d be throwing around salacious smirks as if he had any right to do so, when they made your mind go places less than holy. So it was inevitable, honestly, that somewhere between him memorising your coffee order and the sight of his biceps flexing when he offered to carry your bag for you, that you would start drowning into him a little. Whatever your brother saw, however, wasn’t close to reality. You weren’t so unaware to think that Yunho was indifferent to you - you knew that with a fluttering of your eyes you could get his help with almost anything. But you were certain that’s just how he is with younger friends, he’s just as soft for Jongho as he is for you.

To prove your point, seeing Jongho himself enter the cafe you waved him over to get his help convincing your brother he’s a fool for thinking Yunho thought anything romantic about you.

“Jonghooooo, my favourite! Tell my brother that he’s stupid please.” You peered up at Jongho’s stoic face, praying for the solidarity he usually shows you with the two of you being the youngest out of your friend group.

“I mean, Seonghwa being stupid is a given but what is this about specifically?”

“He said that Yunho likes me in a romantic way which is obviously not true - he treats all of us younger than him the same.” You continued, pointedly ignoring the squawking that Seonghwa had been emitting ever since you had started talking to Jongho.

“You’re the stupid one there Y/N.” Jongho deadpanned and this time it was you squawking indignantly. “I might be able to get free food every time we go out, but you’re the only one Yunho would drop anything for - which he has done, multiple times.”

“I- you know what, you’re all dumb.” You pouted out, crossing your arms.

“That’s fine, but I hope you know I’m not giving you a choice with this - you’re coming to stay with me and Yunho.” Seonghwa informed you, officially back in protective mode.

Jongho looked down at the two of you confused before you sighed and filled him in on your fainting episode. Stifling a laugh behind his fist, his gummy smile came to view after hearing about Seonghwa’s solution.

“Well, Yunho will have no issue with it I’m sure, but you have fun explaining this to him - because let me tell you, the protectiveness he has for you Y/N isn’t a dongsaeng privilege, that’s for you only.”

❀

As nervous as you were to face Yunho and be sharing a room with him, you couldn’t deny your gratitude to your brother for giving you an alternate sleeping arrangement. The day had only seemed to get hotter and hotter and you were sure that if you had stayed in your place, you’d be sweating buckets by now. Sitting on the kitchen stools your brother had found on the street with his boyfriend Hongjoong, you tilted backwards precariously relishing in the blasting cool air of the AC.

“Oh my God, I think you’re trying to give me a heart attack at this point. For the millionth time, will you please stop swinging on these chairs before you crack your skull open.” Seonghwa sounded exasperated as he pushed you upright, but all you did was smile innocently at him as you turned your attention back to your now melting popsicle, throwing a wave to Hongjoong, who had entered with your older brother.

“Hey there little one, you feeling alright? Hwa told me about what happened.” Hongjoong glanced at you with concern as he shuffled over to give you a side hug.

“I am much better now that I am surrounded by this sweet, sweet cool air.” You giggled out.

“We’re heading out now, so I’ll see you later tonight, okay?”

Seonghwa looked to you for confirmation that you heard and you just nodded your head absentmindedly, now more invested in your pinterest feed than watching your brother and his boyfriend get cuddly as they walked out to go on a date. Just as they reached the door you heard it open from the outside as they collided with Yunho returning from what you would guess had been another day spent at the dance studio.

“Hey, Seonghwa told me you’re staying with us for a while, what happened? Are you okay?” Yunho’s voice floated down to you as you felt his presence towering over beside you.

Looking up at him, though, proved to be a fatal mistake as you came face to face with his shirtless body and hair dripping with sweat in a way that somehow looked good which quite frankly should be a crime - who the hell even looks good with greasy hair? Your brain didn’t seem to catch up to any part of your body it seemed, as your frozen treat slipped out of your hand and for the second time that day you began to feel fuzzy in your head (though, a different kind of heat was the culprit this time). You only realised that you had spaced out entirely when you became aware of Yunho’s large hand waving in front of you, a look of unease finding its way onto his soft features.

“For real, did something happen? Did someone do something to you?” His voice held a sharp edge as he voiced the latter question, eyes hardening as he gingerly cupped your face.

Shaking your head vehemently, you swallowed audibly. “No, no nothing like that I just kind of fainted in my apartment because it’s, ya know, hot, no biggie.” You nervously tried to laugh it off but the words out loud seemed to sound worse each time you relayed the story to someone new.

“Y/N, what the hell, were you alone? Did you hit your head? How long were you unconscious for? We need to take you to a hospital.” Yunho spitfired questions at you as he started to frantically pat you down as if he was in search of some life-threatening injury that he had missed.

“Hey, hey, calm down it’s okay, I’m okay, why are you freaking out so much?” You grabbed his hands in an effort to still him.

“I, listen, that doesn’t matter, what matters is that you’re okay.” His eyes searched yours for any hint of discomfort but all he could find was confusion.

“I mean, it matters to me, Seonghwa didn’t even freak out this much.”

“Yeah, well Seonghwa isn’t in love with you like I am.” Yunho blurted out in response. With his ears tinted pink, he seemed to realise what he had just said and attempted to pull his hands out of yours. “Shit, sorry, I uh, I wasn’t supposed to tell you like that, well let’s be real I wasn’t supposed to tell you at all because you don’t feel the same way but little late for that now. Listen, I totally understand that it’s one-sided and I can give you spa-”

You promptly shoved your hand over his mouth to interrupt his blabbering, an endeared smile adorning your features along with a rush of blood to your cheeks.

“I certainly would hope Seonghwa doesn’t love me in the way you do because for starters, he’s my brother so ew and also I may be a little in love with you too.” You whisper, even though it’s just the two of you, feeling overwhelmed at the sudden change in events. “So, actually, I think I’d quite like it if you didn’t give me space and maybe, I don’t know, invaded it instead.”

Even as you said it yourself, you couldn’t help but cringe a little at how cheesy the line sounded but Yunho didn’t seem to mind as his face lit up and he stood in between your legs as you stayed perched on the stool. He moved his hands to grip your waist as he hauled you up onto the countertop instead, putting your face level with his own.

“You know, Seonghwa suggested that I, uh, that I sleep in your room on San’s old bed, but I don’t know maybe I should be kept under closer supervision, after all I did faint today.” Your voice somehow came out even quieter than before, but it didn’t waver as you left your proposition hanging in the air left between your faces.

“Hmm, I think you might be right about that, I mean it would only be right for me to share my space with you. I need to be able to check up on you and make sure that the heat hasn’t gotten to you again. We ought to be responsible, I think.” He feigned innocence but his eyes were trained on your lips as he spoke.

You brushed your lips against his, barely a ghost of a touch, as you smirked.

“Let’s go be responsible in your bed then.”

#is the title from a jonas brothers song? perhaps #ateez imagines #jeong yunho imagines #ateez reactions #ateez fics #ateez college au #jung yunho #ateez fluff #ateez #jeong yunho #jung yunho x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #park seonghwa #kim hongjoong

[bi-bi-buckleydiaz]

deep breath, do your job | owen joyner

requested; yes! - Could you do a Owen x reader where the reader is Owens personal assistant while filming JATP and while they are filming the reader starts catching feelings for Owen but Owen is in a relationship. Owen and his girlfriend breakup and the reader comes over to comfort Owen and Owen confesses that the reason him and his girlfriend broke up was because of the reader.

word count; 6.4K ... yeah kinda got away from me there. longest fic i’ve ever written

warnings; language, implied sexual content but no actual sex or description thereof

a/n; lol, so i just wrote from 1AM - 4AM because i’m procrastinating my child dev. project thats due today that’s worth a quarter of my grade. i really didn’t mean for this to be so long so it’s probably not this good and the ending is a lil’ rough, but oh well. hope whoever requested this likes it. i kinda do even though it’s long and only slightly proofread.

“Owen Patrick Joyner! Get your ass into hair and makeup before - oh, um, okay oops. Sorry ‘bout that. Should have knocked. I’ll just - yep, i’ll just go.” 

You thought he’d be sleeping. It’s nap time for him anyway, so he should’ve been sleeping. Instead, your technically boss and definite crush, was on his trailer couch with a girl you’ve never seen before. Kissing her. Without a shirt. Yeah, you definitely need to get out of there. 

You’re quick to close his door and begin to walk back to the hair and makeup trailer to tell them Owen will be a minute. 

“Y/N! Hey! Wait up! It’s um, it’s not, well it is, but -” He grabs your arm, causing you to turn around and face him, which, big mistake. Abort. Abort. Turn around. His post make out face is something you did not want to see. Liar.  

“It’s fine Owen. What you do in your free time is not my, well, actually it is since i’m your PA, I just mean who - WHAT, what you do in your personal time, in your trailer, is not my concern. Just, you’re needed in hair and makeup like, an hour ago. So, yeah, just, get there.” You stumble over half your words and watch his face fall as you near the end of your spiel. When he lets go of your arm you’re quick to turn around and leave him alone, walking right past hair and makeup and to set where you can curl up in your chair and eat your weight in brownies, if Madi hasn’t taken them all that is. You hope he goes to get his hair done. You know you should walk with him there because if you’re not practically dragging him to where he needs to go he never gets there on time, as just witnessed. But it’s usually because he’s goofing off with Charlie, not sucking face with a random girl. 

You don’t notice the brownie in your hand has crumbled until a whistle comes from behind you. You turn around a little too quickly, sending the brownie bits flying to the floor. 

“Shit.” You kneel down to begin picking it up, another hand coming into help. Charlie, based on the rings adorning the fingers. 

“Is Owen’s keeper okay?” You huff a laugh at the name the cast gave you a week into filming. You’re the only one who has managed to keep Owen in line since filming started, the only reason he’s ever on time for anything or actually has real food in the apartment or has his drumsticks when needed, etc. etc. 

The boys didn’t want PA’s when Kenny proposed it during bootcamp, they were young adults, they didn't want to boss someone around, it felt wrong. But having more experience than the boys, Kenny vetoed how they felt and told them PA’s would help tremendously, especially on a project like this. That’s where you came in. You were trying to get into the directing and producing scene in Hollywood, you’re dream to be as good a director as Steven Spielberg or, well, Kenny Ortega. But you knew you had to start small, so you applied for a PA job on an upcoming Netflix show, getting hired within the week. Now here you are, a nineteen year old being in charge of another nineteen year old who acts more like he’s five. 

In the beginning, it was purely professional. You were nothing more than his PA who got him from place A to place B in a timely fashion. But then he started to rope you into pranks with the rest of the band. He started inviting you to movie nights, and adventures to the grocery store, and ice skating with Charlie and Madi, and somewhere between helping him keep his life in order and watching him fall on his ass at the ice rink, you fell for the blonde. You know it’s a mistake, falling for him. You work for him. He’s your friend. That’s all he sees you as, but you couldn’t help it. But you’re good at compartmentalizing, so you took all the inappropriate feelings, shoved them in a box, locked the box, and hid it deep in your unconscious. You were doing well with ignoring the box, until you walked in on Owen kissing someone that wasn’t you. 

“I’m fine Charlie, just, stressed. Owen was an hour late to hair and makeup so I kinda feel like a shit PA right now.” Charlie chuckles and hugs you as you both stand up. 

“Please Y/N, you’re the best PA. If it weren’t for you, Owen would never know where anything is, including his head.” You laugh into his shoulder, reveling in the hug for a few more seconds. When you part, you see a flash of blonde enter the set and sigh in relief. He made it. He’s ready. You’re not fired today. 

Just incredibly confused and upset. 

But not fired.

“You better go, I know you’re in this scene with Owen.” Charlie nods and squeezes your shoulder once before running after Owen onto the set that holds Julie’s shed. Taking a deep breath, you try to push whatever the hell you saw ten minutes ago into your box, and get ready for the day ahead. 

Four hours, six brownies, and two cookies later, Owen is officially wrapped for the day, meaning you can go home and continue to eat your feelings in ice cream. You’re quick to grab your binder full of Owen’s schedules to drop tomorrow’s off at his trailer before he sees you. You’re not really in the mood to talk to him about what happened earlier, so you fast walk to his trailer, fully intent on just leaving the paper on his counter where he’ll see it, but a brown haired, green eyed girl throws that plan right out the window. 

You’re so stupid. You should’ve known she would still be here. Waiting. 

“Oh, um, hi.” She says. She sounds nice. She looks nice. But when you look at her all you can see is her hands in Owen’s hair and his lips on hers. 

“Hi.” You don’t know how, but you managed to put on a smile and put a little pep into your voice. “I’m Ashley. I’m waiting for Owen. Is he done?” You nod, not trusting your voice as you stand awkwardly in the doorway, one foot on the step the other in the trailer, hand outstretched ready to place the schedule on the table. 

“He just wrapped for the day. Should be here in a few.” The girl - Ashley - nods. 

“You’re Y/N, right? His personal assistant?” How does she know that. She giggles, “He talks about you all the time. Says the only reason he’s not fired or dead in a ditch is because of you.” OH, you said that aloud. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoo-

“Y/N! What are ya doing just standing in the doorway?” Fuck. You put a smile on and turn around. He’s smiling softly at you, still in Alex’s clothes, twirling those damn drumsticks around his fingers. 

“Um, just dropping tomorrow’s schedule off. Here. Okay...bye.” You walk down the steps, letting the door shut behind you, fully intent on leaving, but Owen grabs your arm again, just like earlier, causing you to stop and turn to look at him. 

“Wait. Can we talk real quick. About...earlier?” No. No absolutely not. 

“Um, I really have to go. I have a lot to do tonight for tomorrow.” Owen sighs and lets go of your arm, face contorting into that of a sad puppy. 

“Just, one minute Y/N. Please. Let me explain.” Screw him and his perfect freaking face. 

“A minute.” His face lights up and grabs your hand, leading you back into his trailer, smiling even wider at seeing Ashley sitting pretty on the couch. 

“Y/N, this is Ashley, my girlfriend.” Ashley smiles and waves, standing up to stand by Owen and grab his hand. A rock settles in your chest at the word. 

Girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. 

“Nice. I’m Y/N. But you knew that. Just like you also know I’m in charge of getting him to places on time. Which didn't happen today.” Owen’s face flushes at that while Ashley terribly hides a smirk behind her hand. 

“Uh, yeah, sorry about that Y/N. She surprised me today. We weren’t supposed to see each other until Thanksgiving but she finished classes early and flew out to surprise me. Kinda got, caught up in -” His face is beat red so you’re quick to cut him off. 

“It’s fine. Just, try not to get ‘caught up’ tomorrow, yeah?” It’s harsh and full of hostility, but you want to leave, the word still bouncing around in your head, swirling around the scene you walked into earlier. 

Girlfriend. 

Kissing. 

Girlfriend. 

Flushed face. 

Girlfriend. 

Kissing. 

“I have to go. See you tomorrow on set at 5 Am. Got it? Five A M. Don’t make me break into your apartment again. I almost got arrested for that.” Owen is still reeling from your harsh words said a second ago to laugh at the memory. Ashley however, has no qualms about speaking up. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he’s here on time.” She smiles and wraps around his arm like a koala. You hold back a scoff, throwing up a fake smile before turning and leaving. 

Girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. 

It’s almost midnight.

It’s 11:48 PM and someone is knocking on your door. 

Who the fuck is pounding on your door at near midnight. 

You shuffle to the door wrapped up in your comforter, wiping the sleep out of your eyes. You don’t bother looking through the peephole, too angry at the person behind the door to bother, just wanting to yell at them and get back to bed. 

“What the - Charlie?” He looks exhausted, hair ruffled and eyes puffy. He’s in joggers, a random band tee and his denim jacket. You’re pretty sure his shoes are on the wrong feet. 

“Can I stay the night?” He doesn’t wait for your response before walking into your apartment, flinging his shoes and jacket off and walking to your room. You sigh, ignoring the way he just threw his stuff around and instead follow him to your room before he takes your side of the bed. You walk in just as he chucks his shirt off and woah. You were so not expecting that. An explanation as to why he’s here at midnight? Yeah. Him taking your side of the bed? Definitely. But not Charlie taking his shirt off and crawling onto the right side of the bed and curling around a pillow. You take a moment to collect yourself and your thoughts before crawling into bed next to him, making sure to drape the comforter over him as well. He hums in content and turns around to face you. 

“Sorry for barging in like this. Just, ugh, Owen and that girl are not quiet if you catch my drift.” And it’s like the rock in your heart is now a boulder and it’s crushing your ribcage. You can’t breathe. You can’t think. You’re frozen, staring at Charlie’s half asleep face. “Like I get it, you’ve missed each other. But c’mon bro I’m there too.” He keeps talking. Keeps pushing the boulder until all the ribs crack and puncture your lungs. “There’s somethings in this world I never wanted to hear, and Owen moaning was one of them.” He won’t shut up. Charlie shut up. You’re entire chest is fracturing, breaking at his words and he needs to shut. up.

“I didn’t really know where else to go, but I remembered how comfy your bed was last movie night so, here I am.” His voice is raspy, words slurring as he’s trying to fight sleep to explain to you why he’s here. But you can’t focus on him right now. Can’t think about a shirtless Charlie in your bed. There’s only one thing you can think about right now. 

Girlfriend. 

Shirtless. 

Girlfriend. 

Kissing. 

Girlfriend. 

“Thanks for letting me crash by the way. I’ll try not to kick you in my sleep.” He chuckles, then finally opens his eyes when you don’t laugh back. You don’t know how you look right now. You know you’re frozen. But is the panic and pure sadness showing on your face? It must be, because suddenly Charlie is wide awake and leaning up on his elbow to look at you fully. “Y/N are you okay?” He’s worried. You want to tell him you’re okay. It’s fine. Everything is fine. But you can’t move. You can’t talk. Because reality is crushing you. It’s ripping up your heart, suffocating you, consuming your mind. 

Owen isn’t yours. 

Owen will never be yours. 

You’re just a friend. 

You’re just his PA. 

That’s when the tears finally start. They come slowly, one trailing down your cheek, then another. Then all at once your sobbing into Charlie’s chest, no doubt getting snot all over him. But he doesn’t seem to care. He just starts to hum some random song while he repeatedly runs his hand over your hair, the other holding you close to him. He keeps humming, his chest vibrating and giving you something to focus on that isn’t your depressing thoughts. It’s almost soothing, the petting and the hug and the humming. 

You don’t know how long you sob into him, but when you stop, his humming stops too. He still holds you close, just lets go of your head so you can lean back a little and look up at him. He’s brows furrow in concern and he pouts at your post-crying face. 

“Are you okay? Am I really that bad of company?” He tries for funny but you can’t bring yourself to laugh with him. Just pout and push his semi-wet chest. “Seriously Y/N, i’ve never seen you like this. What’s wrong?” Those two words. 

What’s wrong?

What’s wrong? I fell for my boss and now he’s doing it with some girl and I can’t stop thinking about them and it’s killing me because before I could live with being his friend and PA because at least there was some sliver of a chance but now there’s nothing because he has someone and I have no one and I can’t breathe because oh my god I love him. I love that stupid fool and i’m nothing but his personal assistant. 

It’s quiet for a minute, too quiet, and that’s when you realize you said all that out loud. You look up at Charlie, which was a mistake because his face is full of pity. It’s all sad puppy eyes and “Shit Y/N i’m so sorry.” A fresh wave of tears make their way out of your eyes, but Charlie is quick to wipe them away. 

“Y/N I didn’t know I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have said all of that, God I was so stupid.” And then it’s like a whole new flood gate opens, this one full of laughter though. You start with a chuckle, but soon it’s full out belly laughing. Because Charlie isn’t the stupid one here. “I’m the stupid one. I mean, how idiotic does a PA have to be to fall for the one they’re in charge of? Never mix work with pleasure. It’s PA-ing 101, don’t fall for your boss. I’m so fucking stupid to ever fall for him or think he’d like me back because i’m just his stupid PA who has no talent what so ever, never has a good hair day, can’t go a day without eating their weight in sugar, and will never see him again after filming is wrapped.” Your laughing dies down by the end, and then ends completely when you see the look on Charlie’s face. It’s not exactly pity, but it’s not exactly sadness either. It’s hard to describe what exactly it is, but it’s not good. 

“Y/N. Babes. I don’t ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that again, okay? I swear to God next time I hear anything like that come out of your mouth again, I’m hitting you with a pillow.” You giggle, but he stays serious. “Dead ass Y/N. Listen, was it probably not the smartest to fall for Owen? Yeah. But you didn’t know he had someone. I didn’t even know he had a girl and I’m his roommate. But, we can’t help who we like. It’s all brain chemistry and heart palpitations and whatever else. It’s something we can’t control. So don’t say you’re stupid because of something you can’t control.” 

“You’re being really smart and caring for twelve am.” You both chuckle, a real smile gracing your face for once in the past twelve hours. 

“I’m sorry for the breakdown it’s just, there’s a lot in my head right now and what you said really didn’t help.” Charlie sighs and pulls you in close. 

“I’m sorry babes. You should’ve slapped me or something.” 

“I probably would’ve had the breakdown at some point tonight anyway.” Charlie pulls back a bit to look at you, confusion on his face. “I kinda walked in on them making out earlier when Owen was late to hair and makeup.” 

“Is that why you crushed that brownie earlier?” You sigh and nod. 

“Y/N, i’m sorry. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.” 

“It’s fine Charlie. It’s, well, it’s not but, I’ll get over it. I’m a big girl. Besides, I have you to get my tears and snot all over right?” He groans while you giggle, but he isn’t really mad if the way he pulls you close and rests his face in your hair is any indication. 

“Always babes.” 

The next day you drive to set with Charlie who didn’t have to be on set at five like Owen, but joined you nonetheless. Taking his duty as your new ‘heartguard’ as he called it last night, you walk to hair and makeup with his arm around your shoulders. It’s comforting, even though he’s putting most of his weight on you because he’s exhausted, the coffee you gave him this morning clearly doing nothing to wake up. 

“Charlie, you could’ve stayed in bed until you were actually needed.” You laugh as he trips up the steps to the trailer, nearly face planting if it weren’t for you wrapping your arms around his waist last minute. 

“Char you good?” You hear BooBoo ask. Charlie grumbles something incoherent and shoves his face into your neck as you lean against the arm of the couch. BooBoo laughs, so do you, but quickly sober up when Owen walks in, Ashley on his arm. Charlie must have ESP or something because, without looking up at who walked in, he wraps his arms around your waist and murmurs in your ear, “Deep breaths. I’m here.” You do as he says, shooting Owen a friendly smile, but dropping it as he frowns at you. 

What is that about? 

“Glad to see you on time Owen. I wouldn’t have been able to break in this morning anyway because an octopus decided to break into my own apartment last night.” You ruffle Charlie’s hair as you say that and he grumbles some more, playfully biting your neck as well. “Ow. Asshole.” Owen frowns even deeper at that, while BooBoo chuckles. He get’s scolded a second later for moving. 

“So that’s where you disappeared to last night. I was wondering why you weren’t home this morning.” Owen’s voice is tight while he says it, Ashley noticing as well if the tightened grip on his arm is anything to go by. Charlie squeezes your waist as a way to say, ‘prepare yourself’ before he moves his head to lean against your shoulder so he can talk. 

“Yeah well, I wouldn’t have had to if you and your girl weren’t so freaking loud.” You tense up, mind starting to reel again, but a squeeze to your waist and a warm breath on your neck manages to bring you back. The trailer goes quiet, even the hair and makeup ladies tensing up and sensing the tension. Charlie, ever the wrong place, wrong time type of guy, grabs your hand and places it on his hair, then moves it back and forth. 

“Pet me.” Despite the tension in the room, you can’t help but giggle at the stupid Canadian boy wrapped around you. Apparently that’s all the rest of the people in the trailer needed to go back to what they were doing. That or they just didn’t want to get involved in young adult drama. You shoot a look at Owen, his jaw tense and hands clenched into fists. Completely ignoring the way Ashley leans up to kiss Owen’s neck, you open your phone and begin to read off his schedule for the day, your left hand still running through Charlie’s hair. 

“Hair and makeup at five AM, sit your butt down and let Shelly do her thing, costume fitting right after. First scene at six-thirty with BooBoo, you guys are doing the scene at the Orpheum where you talk about what’s been going on, you’re going to be sad so this whole frowny face you got going on? Keep it. A break after that then rehearsal with Charlie, Jer, and Mads for Stand Tall. Fitting for the Stand Tall suit is after that, but no actual filming for that scene yet, just getting the measures right so after that, you’re done for the day.” You take a deep breath after all that, BooBoo whistling at you from his seat. 

“You could be an auctioneer with how fast you talk.” You smile and bow your head at him.

“I’ll take that as a compliment Boo.” He shoots you a smile and then raises his hand to high five Owen as he sits next to him. Owen ignores him. In fact, he stays silent throughout all of getting his hair and makeup done. Only smiling occasionally when Ashley shows him a meme on her phone. You watch them, the boulder in your chest rolling around as you do so. But not for jealousy, no, for concern. Owen is acting very unlike himself. You may be upset right now, especially with him, but it doesn’t mean you still don’t see him as a friend; still don’t worry about him. Something is wrong, and you can’t help but feel like it’s your fault. 

“So did it work?” You jump in surprise at the voice behind you, the cookie in your hand crumbling and falling onto the table. 

“Charlie! What did I say about sneaking up on me?” You turn to look at the boy who is smiling too wide at you for you to think this is about to be a completely innocent conversation. 

“Did it work?” He’s practically vibrating where he stands.

“Did what work?” 

“The cuddling this morning? Didn’t you see Owen? He was totally jealous.” And - what? That’s why he was so touchy this morning? 

“I just thought you were tired, that was - you were trying to make Owen jealous? Charlie what the hell? He has a girlfriend!” Charlie rolls his eyes and loops his arm around yours, dragging you away from the cookies and towards the costume room. 

“Yeah, but we both know she shouldn’t be. And the way he was acting this morning? I think he’s starting to realize that too.” There’s no way...right? No, the way Charlie described last night...no. 

“No, okay, he was probably just tired and angry about having to be here so early.” Yeah, that’s it. He was not jealous of the friendly cuddling you and Charlie were doing. Totally...not. Holy shit. You hear Charlie giggling in your ear as you enter costume. 

There, in front of you, is a very shirtless, very toned, very pretty Owen Joyner.

“You’re welcome.” Then Charlie is off to God knows where. Leaving you alone with Owen. Well, not really alone since Soyon is here too, running around looking for different fabrics and textures to throw on Owen. A still very shirtless Owen. 

“Oh, hi Y/N. What are you doing here?” Owen asks, looking at you though the floor length mirror in front of him. He’s not smiling at you, but he’s not frowning either, so improvement from this morning. 

“Oh, um, just making sure you got here on time. And look at that. You did! Good job.” You clap, who knows why, but it makes Owen laugh, which, whew, okay. 

“Yeah, I reminded him.” A voice behind you says. You turn and look at Ashley walking in, coffee cup in hand. She bounces up to Owen, ignoring Soyon and placing a big, wet kiss onto his lips before moving to the couch off to the side. Owen seems shocked by the PDA, which makes sense, you know he’s not big on that, remembering one late night conversation you both had a few weeks ago. 

“Anyway, Y/N, how does this one looks. I think the ruffles are nice. And then when he’s performing Stand Tall we can,” and then she begins to unbutton the shirt all the way down to mid chest and okay, seriously Soyon, now you just want to torture me. 

“I like this.” Owen says, twirling in the mirror like a ballerina. This causes the shirt to fling open more, showing his chest more in the process.

Deep breaths. 

Be a friend. 

You’re a big girl. 

“Yeah. It’s good,” you say, walking over to him to tuck to the sides back together somewhat. “Are you going to keep with the pink theme for the jacket?” Soyon smiles and nods, walking away for a minute leaving you alone with Owen and Ashley. 

“Should it really be unbuttoned that much? I mean, it is a kids show? I don’t want to share my boy with fangirls.” Ashley says. You can’t stop your eyes from rolling or the scoff that leaves your mouth. You watch Owen’s Adam's apple bob as he gulps. 

“Please, Charlie is sleeveless for a majority of the show. Owen showing a little chest isn’t gonna hurt anyone. Besides, Soyon chose good. The way the shirt fits and settles it’s never going to open all the way. Unless, ya know, he twirls like some Carolynn Rowland wannabe.” You smile up at Owen and inhale sharply when you see he’s already looking down at you. “And with the jacket on it’ll stay put pretty well.” You’re still holding the shirt in your hands, looking at Owen’s face as you talk. For a second, it’s just you and him, looking at each other, smiling. Then Soyon comes back and clears her throat. The trance breaks and you back up. You wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans before backing up and standing next to the mirror. You feel eyes on you and look over to see Ashely glaring at you. 

“Here we go. One pink jacket to match.” Owen slides it on and smiles wide. You have to say, it looks good. Professionally speaking of course. 

“Soyon, have I ever said how freaking amazing you are. I mean, this is really good looking. Very Alex.” Owen praises. He’s smiling and it’s a nice sight after this mornings debacle. 

“Alex is going to be the best looking one on that stage.” Owen looks over at you, his smile still there, and the boulder shrinks three sizes. 

“Still think the shirt should be buttoned.” Ashley mutters. But everyone ignores her, even Owen, who does another twirl in front of the mirror. 

“Well then, you’re all set Owen. Go ahead and change and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Soyon leaves, going off to do costume designer things, leaving you alone with Owen and Ashley again. Owen takes the jacket off, then looks around not knowing what to do with it. You sigh and smile softly, taking it from him.

“Here, just give me all the clothes and i’ll take them back to your rack.” He smiles thankfully at you, before frowning again and looking down at his outfit. Getting what he’s thinking, you chuckle and cross your arms. “Bub I just saw you shirtless it’s not a big deal. Now c’mon, give me the clothes before Soyon thinks you’re stealing them.” Owen looks up at you in a way you’ve never seen him look at you before. It makes you take a sharp breath in.

“Maybe you should go. I can give the clothes to Soyon. Don’t you have assistant duties to do?” Ashley is right next to you as she says it. It makes your ears hurt and hands clench. You’re quick to unclench though, not wanting to wrinkle the nice pink jacket. Ashley moves forward to unbutton Owen’s shirt all the way, but he grabs her hand before she can begin. 

“Actually I need Y/N to stay. I have to talk to her about some, ya know, assistant stuff. And besides, she knows where Alex’s rack is and that’s where the clothes have to go. Why don’t you go wait for me in the trailer, I’ll be there in a few.” 

I need Y/N to stay. 

That shouldn’t make you feel as warm and tingly as it does. 

Ashley scoffs and looks away, clearly trying to guilt trip him. Owen sighs and kisses her cheek.  

“Trailer. Ten minutes.” Ashley sighs before nodding and finally leaving. He watches her go, then turns back to you when she finally disappears. You clear your throat and he looks back at you, face a bit red. 

“Um, hey.” You chuckle. 

“Hi.” He nods, and you sigh, walking so you’re right in front of him. “Seriously, O, you need to get this off because if they’re not on the rack for Soyon to fix up by the end of the day it’s my head on a stick, not yours.” Then you’re unbuttoning his shirt. 

You’re unbuttoning. His shirt. You don’t realize you’re doing it until you hand grazes his navel when you untuck it from his pants. You hear him suck in a breath and you immediately take two steps back. 

“Sorry, um. Sorry that was not, um, -” 

“It’s okay. You were just, doing your job. Making sure I get stuff done on time, right?” But his voice is wobbly as he says it and his face is as red as a tomato. You couldn’t have made him that flushed, not you? 

“Right. Yeah. Um, so, pants?” Owen looks at you with wide eyes. “I need to take the pants back too.” It’s quiet, but you know he heard you because he nods his head and begins to unbutton them. You suddenly feel very hot, very suffocated. You should’ve left when you had the chance, just let Ashley do this. You shouldn’t be here, watching as he pulls the velvet pants down his legs. Watching as he steps out of them and - oh God he’s falling. You grab his hand to help him but it’s too late, you both tumble to the ground. You’re on top of him, smushed up against his bare chest, faces centimeters apart, sharing breaths. 

“Sorry.” You mumble. You watch him gulp and look down. Down at wha - oh. 

“It’s, it’s okay. I’m the one that fell and pulled you down.” You nod, causing your nose to brush against his. You’re close, so freaking close that if you were to move not even a full centimeter, your lips would touch.

So. 

Close. 

“What. The. Hell!” SHit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

You’re quick to scramble away from Owen, butt scooting across the floor to get as far away from him as possible. Owen jumps up, kicking the pants away then realizing that was probably not a smart idea because now he’s half naked in between Ashley and you.  

“Ash I -” 

“You were taking forever, wanted to know why. Thought you said there was nothing between you two?” She’s practically screeching. You know within minutes there will be a crowd. A crowd Owen will not want, his anxiety will not want. Ignoring his stuttering and the conversation in general, you push away the heat in your belly and the tingling in your spine and take a deep breath. 

Deep breath. 

Be a friend. Do your job.

You grab Owen’s clothes and put them in his hands, ignoring his speaking and Ashley ranting, you grab his hand and then hers, and shove them towards the back exit. 

“This is a trailer conversation, not a wardrobe fitting conversation. Leave, now.” 

“No, I have a lot to say -” 

“Listen to me, I’m trying to do my job and not get Owen in trouble. If you really care about him, you’ll take this conversation to his trailer. Now.” Then you shove them out the door before Ashley could screech some more. 

Deep breath. 

Do your job. 

You go back to the fitting area, only to see Charlie, Jer, and Madi standing there, looking confused. 

Deep breath.

Do your job.

“Hey guys. Owen just left. He and Ashley are having a date night.” Charlie gives you a look, but Jer and Madi nod, going to accept it, but Charlie has to open his big dumb Canadian mouth. 

“Why’d we hear screaming then?” Charlie questions. Jer and Madi look at each other, then back at you. 

“Oh, uh, mouse. I saw a mouse. Yep. Mouse. Anyway, I have to get this clothes hung up before they wrinkle, so excuse me.” 

Deep breath. 

Do your job.

You walk around the trio, gathering the suit and shaking everything out as you walk over to the Alex rack to hang them up. You hear the door to the room open and two sets of feet walking out. 

“Charlie, everything is fine okay? Just a little misunderstanding.” 

“Like?” You sigh and turn around from finishing hanging up the clothes. 

“Like...Owen kinda fell and when I went to help him I feel too...on top of him.” There’s silence then, 

“OH MY GOD! Y/N THAT’S LIKE FANFIC SHIT THAT WAS THE MOMENT! DID YOU KISS OH MY GOD TELL ME EVERYTHING!” He’s jumping up and down as he makes his way to you. 

“Ashley walked in.” All excitement stops.

“Oh shit.” You nod, walking past him to settle on the couch, pulling a pillow to your chest. 

“Yeah. And she started screeching and I knew Owen wouldn’t like to attention so I shoved them out the back door to his trailer.” Charlie’s arm goes around you, pulling you close. He goes to say something, but your phone ringing indicating a text from Owen stops him. You pull it out, opening it as Charlie watches over your shoulder. 

My trailer plz. 

Charlie starts shaking your shoulders, smiling like a maniac. “This is your chance Y/N go go GO!” you shake your head at Charlie’s antics, but leave nonetheless. 

Anxiety creeps up on you as you get closer and closer to his trailers, not knowing what you’re going to walk into. Him firing you? Saying you can’t be friends anymore? Ashley ready to claw your face off? 

Deep breath.

Be a friend.

You knock on his door. It opens a second later to a frantic looking Owen. Now you're anxious about him. Why does he look upset? Is he okay? He grabs your hand and pulls you into his, oh, empty trailer. Ashley is nowhere to be seen. 

“Hey, thanks for coming.” You nod, still looking around expecting her to jump out and slap you. “Um, sit. Sit, I have to talk to you about something.” You go to sit on the couch, but then remember what occurred there yesterday and instead lean against the counter. He notices but doesn’t say anything. 

“Yeah okay. What’s up?” You try to act nonchalant, but the anxiety is too high for that. ‘I have to talk to you about something’ never ends well. He walks over and sits on the bed pats the spot next to him. God, this can’t be a good conversation if he really wants you to sit. 

“Ashley and I were never...on here.” He mumbles. You walk over and sit next to him, blushing that he caught on to why you didn’t sit on the couch. 

“Must be serious if you need me to sit.” Owen takes a deep breath, another, another, and then there’s lips on your. They’re soft and nice and taste like carmex chapstick. 

“Mhm, Owen, what, what are you doing?” Your faces are still close together, both of you not wanting to back away yet. 

“I’m gonna talk. Okay I’m gonna talk and I want you to listen and not crawl inside your head too soon okay?” You nod, knowing in this moment you’d do anything to keep him this close. 

“I knew Ashley from high school. She started texting me a few weeks back and one thing led to another and she was calling me her boyfriend. I didn’t want it but it happened and I let it because it got my mind off a girl I shouldn’t like because it would ruin so many things. I didn’t know she was coming to visit and when she knocked on my trailer she jumped me and just kept going. And I just went along with everything yesterday because I’m supposed to be her boyfriend and I’m supposed to think about those things with her and I’m supposed to want those things with her, but I don’t Y/N. I don’t want those things with her I never did. I, I want them with you. I’ve wanted them with you from the moment you finally stopped being shy around me and dragged me from crafts by my ear to hair and makeup. You’re so amazing Y/N and I thought if I did anything I’d ruin this and ruin your career and I didn’t want that. I never wanted that so I went along with Ashley but I shouldn’t have because the whole time I was thinking about you. It’s always been -” You kiss him. You grab him by the cheeks and kiss him. It’s a passionate kiss, an ‘about time’ kiss, an ‘i’m never letting you go’ kiss. 

You only break away when you can’t breathe, and even then you only pull away enough to breath in each other’s air. 

“She left. She’s gone. She knew I was never 100% in.” You nod, but you’re not really listening. You can’t hear anything other than your heartbeat. 

He likes you. 

Owen likes you.

Owen kissed you. 

“It’s always been you, Y/N.” You smile. It’s a big one that you have to hamper down by biting your lip. Owen smiles back, then you’re kissing again. 

And again. 

And again.

#owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner imagine #owen joyner fanfiction #owen joyner x reader #owen joyner x y/n #owen joyner fluff #owen joyner angst #owen patrick joyner imagine #owen patrick joyner x reader #jatp #julie and the phantoms #charlie gillespie #madison reyes #jeremy shada

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

Hi! How are you doing? ^^ ☆

Just wanted to know if you could make a headcanon about how would it be like after an argument with Armin? Please

Tysm for reading me, I love your work ♡♡♡

You're so sweet and nice ♡ of course I'd love to do one and tbh we must be on the same wavelength because i was just thinking about that yesterday!!!

I really liked your idea so imma do both a scenario and a headcanon! Hope you don't mind?

After an argument with Armin

{ Armin x reader | tw: hurt/comfort, self-image issues | angst with happy ending | modern }

{ "Moonlit View" byOscar Kleineh 1846 - 1919 }

Being with Armin had its many, many perks, one being that he's really empathetic and understanding, he doesn't assume things without evidence and knows misunderstandings happen.

When facing problems or disagreements, he thinks of a solution, not argue. He rather you work together against the problem than against each other.

Whenever you were in a bad mood he'd assume the best and think of what might have caused it instead of taking it personally, he knows you still love him, he knows you're just stressed. Maybe comfort could help? Maybe a lovely cuddly evening? Or maybe you need some space?

He's just really good at reading people's emotions and handling these situations, thanks to his efforts you both successfully managed to avoid any kind of arguments or fights most couples go through.

Which is why it was a shocking surprise to everyone when Eren got a call from Armin late at night, asking if he can stay over because you two just had, what he described as, the biggest fight.

Eren almost didn't believe him at first, he thought Armin was playing a prank on him. But then he heard the quivering in his voice and the hiccup that followed. Armin was crying, things were serious.

The last thing he said to you while putting his coat on was "I'm sorry, I'm weak, you and I know that."

Him saying that, in that tone, with those tearful eyes, made you want to get up and yell at him that no he isn't. He shouldn't just say that about himself like it's a fact and not just the results of years of self-doubt.

You wanted to hug him, to pull him closer till all those awful thoughts leave his head, till he sees at himself like how you see him, incredibly brave and determined.

But you didn't, you stayed there on the couch as he put his shoes on. His eyes pleading for you to say something, anything. To tell him to stay, to come sit near you. He even looked at you one last time before opening the door.

As you stared at him in silence, the realisation that you don't even remember what you were fighting about hit you, you can't, how could you? The minute the door closed behind him is when you realised how real the situation is.

How quiet the house is.

Has it always been this cold?

And just how much worried you are about him.

It hasn't been a full minute and you're missing him already.

—

It's 4am

It's hours since he left, how much exactly? You can't even remember.

Still haven't moved from the couch, you're not sure what you're feeling, you've been going through different emotions each hour.

Guilt, sadness, regret, anger, denial, pessimism, you name it.

It doesn't matter, none of that really matters to you right now. It's Armin who you've been worried about for a while that matter.

You know for a fact Eren and Mikasa aren't the most emotionally open people, you know Armin is already struggling with letting out his emotions without feeling needless guilt or shame.

You know he needs someone right now, he needs a shoulder to cry on and a reassuring voice. You've been both these things for him since even before you got together.

Just like he has been these things for you too. You need that someone just as much now. You didn't even know it's possible to feel this lonely.

Is he also thinking about you? Is he sleeping soundly on Eren’s couch? Or is that one stain from last week's party bothering him?

...is he just as miserable as you are right now? Probably not, you think. He's far stronger than he gives himself credit for, you know that better than everyone else.

Your thought process gets interrupted by a buzz from your phone, a text. Your eyes light up, you pull the blanket you dragged from the bed tighter around you, it's Armin.

[ hey ] it said, [is it okay if i call you?]

You reply back, he starts typing again, you stare at those three dots like your life depends on them.

[Okay, give me a minute please ]

You pull the phone closer to you, it's brightness contratsing against the dark living room. Some minutes pass...nothing, you feel your heartbeat rising. Phone still clutched in your hands.

It rings, it doesn't get past the second ring before you've pressed the accept button. You can hear the wind on the other side, alongside the distant sound of passing cars. Your heart only slows down after hearing the fimilar and oh so lovely sound of soft breathing

Suddenly the world doesnt seem so dim anymore.

"Sorry, it took more time than i thought, Eren keeps his keys in really weird places...I hope i didn't make you worry"

Oh If only he knew..

Dozens of possible replies run through your mind.

I missed you, did you miss me too?

Please come back, I hate feeling this lonely.

How does it feel to take my heart and run away?

Was your voice always this captivating or am i just high on sleep-deprevation?

I miss your kisses, i wish i could feel your lips against mine. Could you kiss me through the phone?

...in the end, you settle for "It's okay" you say, "It's alright."

"That's good...hey listen." You listen, "I'm not going to skirt around the subject, i called because" he takes a deep breath, "i want to apologise for how i acted, for what i said, both to you and myself."

Hearing him admit to his faults and own up to his mistakes, fills you with courage to do the same. You apologise, you mention how you've been thinking about him, you leave out the embarrassing parts.

You tell him you love him, and miss him.

You're met with silence. So you call out his name.

"Wait..you're not mad at me?" He says.

What? Mad? You?

"No." You say. "Why would you think that?"

You hear a chuckle that evolves into a laugh, it's contagious.

"Fuck...oh god I'm...im so stupid, i left because I thought you were mad and didn't bother you more by making you look at me." Even he seems to realise just how ridiculous that concept is.

It's 5am now, you're both laughing over the phone. The world is good again.

You ask if he's mad at you.

He instantly replies with a no.

"I could never be mad at you..." he says, "I love you so much it hurts. I love you like I've never loved anyone else before that it terrfies me, I'm scared one day I'll wake up and you won't be beside me anymore, you've made me love myself in ways i never though i would, you made me believe in myself because you believed in me."

{ Headcanons }

After an argument, Armin tries giving both of you space to calm down.

It doesn't last long because he will approach you after and talk about his emotions and explains why he did the things he did. He will also apologise for the things he did wrong like yelling or saying something hurtful.

If you give him the okay, he will instantly hug you. Physical touch is a great comfort for him so don't expect him letting you go anytime soon.

He will hold your face gently, tell you how much he missed you despite it being only hours.

Doesn't even care about the argument anymore or attempt to bring it up, he just wants to make up asap.

You're both gonna have a heartfelt conversation and actually process your emotions together. As a result you two come out stronger and closer after each argument.

He doesn't hold grudges, so he won't ever act passive aggressive after an argument. if he's got a problem he will tell you.

Just 100% honestly and transparency with this golden boy.

Will want to spend more time together post argument, he will really love it if you watch something together or you let him read you something.

Give him love and affaction, he loves you deeply it's actually rare these days.

When you go to sleep on those nights, he will hold you tighter and stroke your back.

He doesn't hold grudges yet he still remembers each fight you had and instead of it being a sour memory, he thinks of it as a learning block. Just a step towards understanding each other more.

Pamper him more after an argument and he will feel so loved, hearts in his eyes as you brush his morning hair.

#okay tell me why the fuck did I actually cry while writing this? #fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck #i feel so bad :"( i feel so sad #armin baby #im sorry #so so sorry #this took a lot of hours ngl #im proud of it #halfway through tumblr crashed and my progress was lost #armin arlet x reader #armin x reader #armin x y/n #armin headcanons #armin arlert #armin reader #armin scenario #Armin🕯 #angst with happy ending #angst with comfort #emotional tbh #snk #aot #aot x y/n

[lilcoffeecup]

Late night coffee and confessions

This is my entry for the fluff/angst Maribat April. This is the fluff piece to @onlyganymede-maribatedition‘s angst piece with the prompt of “I think I love you; You think?!” their fic was really good, I definitely would recommend checking it out. I’m really sorry for posting this late and for the short length but I hope it turned out okay. Enjoy :) @maribat-angst-fluff-april

Marinette had recently moved to Gotham a few weeks ago, after the disaster that was Paris, she had needed a fresh new start and Gotham was that for her. Growing up in a bakery, she wanted to keep a small piece of her past with her and that’s how she ended up becoming a barista at Café Levant. It was a small café, but the manager Micheal and fellow barista, Sera were both good people and made her feel not so alone in Gotham especially during the dreaded night shift.

Tim had always frequented to Café Levant when he wanted his coffee fix at 4am these days since Dick, Bruce, even the whole floor was trying to get him coffee dry, the traitors. Thought it was a nice walk and he always got himself a little a little treat and of course his love, his life, coffee. W.E was a little far away from Café Levant but worth the walk with the delicious chocolate croissants that were baked fresh daily there, and the nice baristas there even gave him the leftovers if there were any occasionally.

Just as Tim was walking in for his late night/early morning coffee fix while almost walking into the door, one of the newer baristas was making brewing a fresh pot. Marinette was her name; Tim was reminded by her a quick glance at her nametag and for a second Tim thought he was looking at a female version of him.  With her having the same expression as his on her face, of not having had sleep in over a week, and of just being so done with everything that all that mattered was finishing the task at hand then passing out for a couple days.

Pouring the coffee into what looked to be a very large cup, and taking a long sip, Tim waited to place his order. “No offense but I’m not gonna greet you with the way too chipper ‘welcome to café levant bs’ because honestly its way too early to have to deal with that, for both you and me. So just tell me your order and wait right there for me to gather enough braincells to make your drink.” Marinette said pointed to a little further from the order station with a card name card type of tag saying ‘pickup’s’.

Tim blinked for a few seconds then seemed to become somewhat coherent again “Uhhh, can I have the darkest roast coffee please?” It was Marinette’s turn to blink, as far as she knew, she was the only one able to stomach the darkest roast that they had and everyone else ended up saying that they couldn’t except for that one guy the others had told her about. “Are you sure about that? Almost no one is able to stomach that, weaklings” Mariette ended up muttering at the end. “Yeah, I’m sure, and as large as you have with as many espresso shots as legal” Now Marinette’s mind was spinning and not just the 4am spinning, no like actually spinning because “if you want to copy my order then go ahead, it’s your funeral”

Just as Tim was about to reply, Riddler burst through the doors carrying a gun in his hand, “Give me all your money, c’mon empty the register NOW”. Marinette didn’t look the least bit frightened though she did look like she wanted to punch someone. Tim realized that the other two workers had stepped back, and so did he since he wasn’t Red Robin right now but Tim Drake-Wayne.

“Do you honestly have nothing better to do right now then rob a small-time café? And, rude much, I was clearly talking to a zombie like myself here and you just had to go and burst through the doors as if I would care” Marinette ended up saying in a bored tone while looking for a frying pan to smack Riddler over the head with. After successfully finding what she was looking for, she nodded her head in the direction of the back-area of the café to Tim “Just head on in there with Sera and Michael, I’ll be with you again in a moment”

For the second time since Tim had entered the small café today, Tim was almost sure that this was all a dream and not reality. Logically speaking, how would a petite little seemingly French not that he wouldn’t look her up on the Bat-computer later would be able to take on Riddler. Before he could protest though, he was ushered into the back by the 2 other workers and when inside and looking at his somewhat concerned face, started snickering “Don’t worry about little Mari, she packs more of a punch than one would think”.

A few minutes later, Marinette walked in with a half-conscious but fully terrified Riddler tied up screaming “Look at what you did! You made me drop some of my precious nectar, my coffee, you monster.” Riddler ended up blubbering “I’m sorry okay! I’m sorry! I’ll never rob this café again! Just please, please don’t hit me with your coffee pot, it hurts.” When she saw Tim’s still concerned look, she gave a glance at her co-workers and when they simply shrugged and started to walk back to the front of the shop to go back to what they were doing she ushered him back to the front

“Are you okay?”, Tim was simply shocked “Am I okay? I wasn’t the one who took down the Riddler, are you okay?”. “Yeah, I’m fine just kind of lost a piece of me with my spilt coffee” “Mood.”

“Anyways, here is your order, I made it just like mine so be careful, it packs a big kick” Tim took a sip “Oh my god! I think I’m in love, you are, hands-down, my new favourite barista! This reminds me of the coffee I used to be able to have before those traitors betrayed me and tried to get me coffee dry” Tim didn’t know if it was just him, but he thought Marinette’s eyes twinkled a little more after that. “Oof, that’s tough, my parents back home tried the same and let’s just say when they were unsuccessful, they didn’t bother trying again” “Don’t worry, I would be a hypocrite if I tried to tame your coffee intake because I’m the same”. Both Tim and Marinette ended up talking throughout the night, and both felt a spark. Marinette didn’t want to seem as pushing herself onto Tim and Tim didn’t know if Marinette would feel the same. In the end, when Tim was just about to leave, he gathered up all his courage and internally said goodbye to the amazing coffee and café if this ended up going south, then decided to say it because he didn’t want the night to end, he didn’t want to leave her. Marinette, seeing that Tim was meaning to say something hoped that it was what she wanted to hear.

“I think I love you”

“You think?!”

~fin.

#timmari #coffee shop au #as you can tell im terrible at fluff so sorry in advance #angst fluff april #maribat angst and fluff april #maribat #Mari and Tim are just so done and are gonna be coffee lovers forever #boba writes

[anthonyed]

There's a flower on his table-top. It's the last thing Tony notices; shrivelled, half hidden under a stack of folders with a leaf torn and browned. 

He stares at it for a full five minutes, muscles tensing further and further until the wrench cuts bluntly into his right palm and he hisses as he drops it, feeling burnt. 

It's a quick second distraction from that aged flower but it serves its purpose perfectly. 

Tony turns away, calling for Dum-E to throw it into the trash. 

-

Habitually, he drinks his coffee black and hot. No sugar, no milk needed. Just a quick fix to boost his system so it can function for another four hours. 

Natasha catches him at 4am, wrapped in a woolen cardigan with an irritated frown on her pretty face. 

She stares at him, and stares while he stares right back at her. It's like they're both trying to shift through words to find the right one to say. 

Eventually she turns away and leaves. 

Tony's not surprised, nor is he going to admit it bothers him more than he likes to think. 

-

Clint is blunt. And brutal. 

It's perhaps all the times he'd fallen on his head throughout his life, that he doesn't shy away from calling Tony an asshole, face forward.

"You just gotta destroy someone else along with yourself don't you?" His words cut like daggers.

-

If he's honest, Tony cries. 

Two weeks after that dried rose, he stares at a teardrop on its spot. He hates the stream that doesn't stop but guess that's the price he has to pay for breaking someone's heart. 

It's a strange sort of thing, to notice a drop of clear liquid before realising what it is and then, where it's from. Humiliating too. For Stark men don't cry but Tony always manages to break that streak somehow. 

No wonder Howard hated him when he was alive. 

-

It's the sight of Steve that does it in the end. 

Forlorn in his long cotton sweatpants and thick beard and he's as good as he'd last seen him, or maybe better. But his blue eyes shine less, like something's hardened over them and when they meet Tony, they stare right through him as if he's a stranger.

And that's way too brutal than what he did, Tony thinks. 

Indifference versus rejection and the former will always be the grand prize winner. 

-

One night, after four months of turning away from each other, Steve comes to stand by the window where Tony's at; nursing a glass of whiskey for his rotten heart and his presence is so thick that it moulds around Tony like a warm cocoon. Comfort which he's been yearning for ages now within his reach but it's not really his to own, is it?

They don't speak. They don't look. They simply stand there right next to each other as if testing their boundaries and it goes on for hours and Tony feels tired; his eyes burn with sleep and whiskey but something in his veins pleads him to stay cause it knows if he leaves now, this will be it. 

He doesn't leave. 

-

Two days later, Steve puts a strip of bacon on his plate of breakfast and carries on flipping pancakes like there is nothing out of normal. 

Clint's bite of waffle catches dust on its fork while his jaw hangs slacken staring at both of them. 

Natasha's smirking, but it's barely there, for barely a second before it's gone behind a mug of jasmine tea which scents the whole kitchen. 

Tony chokes on a strawberry, is what all of them think, but really it's a huge lump of tears stuck in his throat which grows and grows until Sam whacks him on the back with all his strength combined. 

"Jesus Christ," he hisses between shaking his head. 

-

Someone tells him on a Saturday, while the Sun is pouring hot into his workspace that Steve is still hung on him as he was before the mess. 

Tony puts a name to that someone when he discards his goggles and meets piercing grey eyes behind a swath of long brown mane and, "My God," he says, "Do you have no plans to cut that lump of grease, Barnes?"

-

One day, he passes by a flower shop on the busy New York street while in search for caffeine post board meeting and it's a slight hesitation in his steps before he hurries along that sits with him until the dead of the night and he recalls vividly the smell of that dried rose he trashed that day and the ache in his chest which feels better now and he's thinking and thinking and -

He orders a bouquet the next day. 

100 red roses within a mass of baby breaths and it's delivered to the garage, not to its intended recipient because Tony is still not sure this day. 

And he still isn't sure even after a day, and another and those roses lose their luster and they wilt and they rot and Dum E kindly blends them into a smoothie which Tony pukes into the toilet bowl a week later. 

-

The thing is, it's not the roses but Steve that he isn't so sure. 

Sure, Barnes was a twittering little nosy bird who sprinkled some hope in Tony's dead garden. Sure, their friends tease them during battles or sometimes some random moments when their eyes meet, or fingers touch or Steve places an extra pancake on Tony's plate or when Tony gives Steve's shield back looking shinier before ever -

Sure, there are instances but, nothing was ever said between them after Tony tossed Steve's heart into the trash can and everything feels broken still sometimes when it's only two of them in a space together. 

-

Courage comes in the form of a death threat when a rebar goes through and through Steve's chest but it barely misses his heart and Tony loses his shit like never. 

If ever Rhodey has seen him so still, it is now by Steve's bedside smelling miraculously of both blood and antiseptic. Even Pepper couldn't get through him, in the end. 

It takes 10 days and three hours for Steve to open his eyes and the first thing he smells is sweet floral. 

Almost too much to the point that he scrunches his nose. Too much that he forgets the pulsating pain at his right temple and the tearing one in his breastbone. But he sees Tony in the mass of red, white, yellow and almost every other color in a rainbow and he understands immediately where the source of it comes from. 

"Maybe I went overboard," Tony rubs his nape, looking oddly out of place but beyond desperate. 

Steve's hand, already in his, gives a good squeeze and he feels better, marginally, but still unearthed. Like he shouldn't be here, but he couldn't help himself because he needs to and he just has to.

Steve croaks, "Just a little," and the twitch of his mouth gives more hope than a lake to a man in a desert. Tony drinks all of it like a starved man and he lets out a sigh he's been holding for ages. And the apology too, slipping through his lips into the clasp of both of their hands. 

"I'm sorry," smelling sickeningly sweeter than the rose which came with Steve's 'I love you' eight months ago and it makes Tony wince. 

Steve's silent through it. Through another hour Tony spends rambling over nothing and everything because Steve hasn't said anything and even then, even when Tony leaves, closing the door behind him, Steve doesn't say a single word. 

-

"Maybe you're wrong," Tony wants to tell him. It's the only reason why he climbs out of his workshop at 3 in the morning because that's when their resident Robocop comes out for late night munchies. 

And he almost says those words because that pair of shoulders are familiar as well as the black hoodie draped over them, except the owner of that body turns and Tony stops dead in his tract, breath caught in his chest because that is not Bucky Barnes but Steve Rogers. 

And then he turns 180 and bolts out of the kitchen.

-

Once upon a time, the only person who'd dare to call him coward to his face would have been Rhodey. But now he's got like 10 of him and everywhere he turns, he seems to run into one of them. 

"What are you running from?" Bruce asks him one day and Tony almost tells him. Almost. Cause it's Bruce and he would never judge but that is about it. 

Something about all of this with Steve makes Tony feel like he should be judged. Bound to a stake and forced to face his judgement day because that's what he deserves for breaking Steve's heart. 

So he opens his mouth, and he closes and he shakes his head and pretends Bruce never asked him a thing at all. 

-

And then Steve walks into his shop - Jarvis, that bloody traitor - and Tony is so shocked about this turn of event that he misses the close proximity Steve puts himself to Tony when he asks roughly, "Did you forget I almost got killed?"

When Tony shakes his head mutedly, he asks, "Then you don't care to see if I recover. Is that it?"

Aghast, Tony opens his mouth to protest but Steve doesn't let him. 

"You spent days sitting and mourning by my bed when I was unconscious and you bought so many flowers as if you wanted to bury me in them. Did you want to bury me in them? Is that why you're running away from me now that I'm back alive?"

And that hurts because, "How dare you?" Tony whispers, breath lost in boiling blood and he blinks back hot tears, looking up at the man he loves. 

Those hardened blue eyes melt and they shine with tears when Steve cups his face and demands, "Then why are you avoiding me?"

"Honestly? Cause I think you hate me," and there it is. The ringing truth which Tony didn't know existed until it comes tumbling out of his mouth and his throat pains when he tries to swallow a building lump cause it hurts to look at Steve when he looks like he's been cut by a thousand knives. 

So he tries to turn away but Steve pulls him into a bone-crushing hug and hisses into the crown of his head, a remarkably unfamiliar word to ever be directed at Tony Stark. 

"Idiot."

#stevetony #stony #mine #and i finished this last night

[catrasredemption-moved]

I'm really struggling and hurting with what's going on in the fandom right now as im losing the only comfort i had in quarantine. could you please write something happy post-s5 catradora based on noelle's statement that once Adora realises she's in love with Catra she'd be SO into the reslationship?

((I get you, Nonners <3 *hugs* Again, white af, so I’m going to limit my comments, but - it isn’t all downhill from here. Try not to give up)) (((Disclaimer it’s almost 4am and my sleeping meds are kicking in, so I’m sorry if this isn’t completely coherent)))

Adora had never half-assed anything in her life.

And she’d be damned if she was going to start now, at a time when being fully on her game was more important than ever.

“I just want to do something for her!”

Bow practically had hearts in his eyes. Glimmer was a little less impressed. “I’m pretty sure if you just stayed in bed and napped together all day, she’d be happy.”

“I know, I know.” Adora sighed. “But that’s not - I want to do something good. Like, really show her that I love her.”

“Take a vacation.”

“Glimmer!”

“What? I’m serious,” Glimmer insisted. “If you just like... took an entire week off to do nothing but spend time with her, she’d probably be speechless. Which I would pay to see, by the way.”

Adora frowned, thinking it over. It was true that Catra would probably be floored by Adora taking a week off, no need for She-Ra or anything, just for her.

“I don’t know. Do you think it’s enough? What should we do? What do people do on vacation?”

“You could just travel?” Bow suggested. “You know, get as far from Bright Moon as you can then call Glimmer for a ride back or something when you’re done.”

It was... actually a good idea, Adora thought. They’d spent their whole lives in the Fright Zone wondering what was beyond the Whispering Woods. They could actually see things now. They could see a world full of magic!

The happy thoughts died almost as quickly as they had started. “I... I dunno. I mean, it sounds great, but that would take more than a week, and-”

“Take a month,” Glimmer encouraged. “Take six months, honestly. You guys saved the universe. If anyone’s earned time off, it’s you.”

“That’s a lot of time.”

“And you’ve earned it,” Bow assured her. “Maybe not six months - I mean, you should take six months but I know that would drive you nuts. But take a month. Go places. Spend time together. I think it’d be good for you guys.”

Adora chewed on her thumbnail for a moment before slowly nodding and smiling. “Yeah. Okay.”

This whole thing had started with Catra not feeling like a priority in Adora’s life, after all. A month together would be the perfect way to show Adora she was invested and she cared. Perfect. * * * * * * * * * * * * Catra didn’t get back to Bright Moon that night. “Your cat passed out on my couch,” Mermista informed Adora flatly, turning the screen so Adora could see Catra curled up in a tight ball, sleeping.

“Is she... okay?”

“She’s dumb. Sea Hawk found her almost sick with heat stroke and had to drag her away from the house she was working on.”

Adora’s heart jumped to her throat. “She’s... She’s really trying hard to help with Salineas.”

“And I appreciate it,” Mermista admitted in a rare moment of genuine honesty. “But I’ll appreciate it less if she kills herself in the process. If she’s going to die, I should at least get the first shot.”

“Glimmer can come get her, if you want.”

“Nah, she already feels like hell. She can sleep it off on the couch.”

Adora scrubbed her eyes, smiling weakly. “Thanks, Mermista. Sorry, I guess I should’ve warned you, she gets really intense when she actually puts effort into things.”

“She’s not someone I would’ve pegged for a workaholic. Want me to wake her up to say... I dunno, good night or whatever you guys say to each other?”

“Nah, let her sleep.” Adora wanted Catra home, wanted to talk to her about a vacation, but she was sleeping, and that was more important than anything. She’d been exhausting herself for nearly a month working on Salineas. And while it was earning her some begrudging tolerant will with Mermista (who firmly believed actions were better than any apology Catra could ever say), Adora was worried. A vacation would really do her some good. * * * * * * * * * * * * Glimmer and Adora went to Salineas the next morning to get Catra. They thought it was reasonable to assume she was still sleeping off the heat stroke at the palace.

“Nope, she took off before I woke up,” Mermista said flatly when they found her. “Sea Hawk tried to find her, but he’s not exactly subtle about it, so she probably had plenty of time to hide.”

“Great.” Adora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’ll... track her down.”

“Tell her if she’s going to keel over to get out of my kingdom. She can die on Bright Moon’s turf.”

“Tell her not to die,” Glimmer added.

“Yes, and yes.”

Mermista pointed Adora in the direction of where they’d found Catra yesterday. She approached a half built house, quietly climbing up the ladder at the side and finding Catra working on the roofing.

“Seriously?” she asked, resting her arms on the edge of the roof. Catra looked up, surprised.

“What?”

She looked exhausted, her face flushed red. Adora sighed. “Are you coming home any time soon?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She went back to work, distracted. “Sorry, I dunno what happened yesterday.”

“You made yourself sick working in the sun all day.”

“Sea Hawk overreacted.” Catra waved Adora off. “He’s just scared you’d kill him if you found he let me overwork myself.”

“Sooooo you’re admitting it?”

“No, that’s just his logic.”

Adora shook her head. “Come on, take the day off and come home. I wanna talk to you about something.”

“I really need to finish this.”

There was a weird moment where Adora thought she understood how Catra had felt for years. Catra had been working nonstop on Salineas for a month, and Adora was starting to feel a little ignored.

But she also understood Catra’s side. She took a deep breath, hauling herself up onto the roof and crawling over to Catra, gently putting her hand on Catra’s and stopping the hammer. “Hey. I get it, okay? But you’re not responsible for fixing all of Salineas.”

“Actually, I kind of am,” Catra replied bitterly. She was far too warm for it to be comfortable.

“I’m pretty sure Hordak could stand to take a little more responsibility than he has.” Adora couldn’t help but be a bit bitter about that. He had mostly stayed in Dryl, working with Entrapta on tech that would help with the rebuilding process. And that was great and all, but it wasn’t much compared to Catra being out here every day working herself half to death.

Catra let out a long sigh, finally relaxing her hand. “I just... need to do this, Adora. Okay?”

“I get that, but you don’t need to do it at the expense of your own health. And yes, I know I’m a hypocrite. But I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Adora squeezed her hand. “And that’s okay. Have you eaten anything?”

“No.” The honesty was nice.

“Did you skip eating because you felt sick?” Catra nodded. “Okay. So... you can leave with me, or Mermista can wash you out to sea so you don’t die in her kingdom.”

Catra looked around, and sighed, finally nodding. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Getting her back to solid ground was a bit dicey, but she held herself up and managed to walk back to the palace without much help.

“She lives,” Mermista said dryly when they arrived back at the palace. Glimmer smiled, although she couldn’t hide her worry.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Catra smothered a yawn, scrubbing her eyes.

“Picture of health all right,” Mermista deadpanned. “Look, you built like, an entire neighborhood on your own. Come back when you’re not burning up.”

Glimmer rested a hand on Catra’s shoulder, wincing when she felt the heat radiating off of her. Adora took a moment to whisper, “Thank you for taking care of her,” to Mermista. The princess shrugged.

“Yeah, you know. Whatever.”

Catra was not happy with the teleport back to Bright Moon. Glimmer put them close enough to the bed so she could drop straight onto it, groaning. Good luck, the queen mouthed before disappearing. Adora went to the bathroom, wet a washcloth with cold water, and returned to the bed, resting the cloth on the back of Catra’s neck. She shivered.

“Cold.”

“Yes, because you’re burning hot.” Adora settled in next to her. “So, I had an idea, and I already know you’re going to argue with it, but hear me out.” Catra hummed in affirmation. “I was thinking we should take some time off. You and me. I was thinking traveling, but now I’m thinking maybe go visit Frosta and spend a week in the snow.”

“Oh hell no,” Catra muttered. “I am not going anywhere with snow. That’s where I draw the line.”

“But you’re agreeing to the vacation?”

“I dunno.” Catra raised her head. “When? Can it wait until Salineas is-”

“No.” Adora gently clasped Catra’s face in her hands. “I know this is hard for you, but you can’t hurt yourself trying to fix things. That won’t accomplish anything, and nobody wants to see you hurting, not even Mermista.”

Catra looked ready to argue, but something in her expression flickered. “You’re willing to take time off just to do nothing?”

“Not nothing. To spend time with you. We can hold each other accountable. You keep me strapped down, and I’ll lie on top of you to make sure you don’t run off to Salineas.”

Tears slowly filled Catra’s eyes, and Adora panicked for a moment before Catra spoke. “You’d... really take time off to spend time with me?”

“Of course.” Adora kissed her gently. “I love you, Catra. And I know we’ve been through a lot and done a lot that doesn’t really... support that, and I want to prove it now. And I want to take care of you.”

The moment of silence between them was comfortable. The same silence they could have spent hours in at one point in their lives. “I love you too,” Catra finally murmured. “Maybe taking some off to spend together wouldn’t be so bad. If only to see you try and relax.”

“Ha. Ha.” Adora grabbed the washcloth and began gently wiping Catra’s face. “Glimmer gave us a month, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be happy if we want to take more. Let’s start with getting you better, then we can figure out what we want to do from there. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Catra snuggled into Adora’s chest, taking a deep breath. “That sounds good.”

It had worked. Adora couldn’t believe it. “So uh... I’m doing this relationship thing pretty good, huh?”

Catra snorted, reaching up to push her face away. “Get over yourself.”

#catradora #catradora fic #Mystery Person #Sam Answers #askbox fic

[fonulyn]

fonulyn’s 2020 in fics

this is kind of exciting since in 2020 I did get a lot writing done, and it marks the second year in a row that I’m able to actually make one of these posts after that horrible not good at all terrible disastrous three and a half years when I wrote absolutely nothing. so it’s a triumph to get another one of these up! personal victory haha.

in total, in 2020 I wrote 148 fics, ranging from like 200 words to 34k (idk if those short things can be called fics but i just did). by pairing, there’s

13 of Joe/Nicky

58 of Piers/Leon

56 of Chris/Leon

(1 with Piers/Leon and Chris/Leon)

5 of the ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)

11 of Krauser/Leon

3 of Wesker/Chris (lmao still can’t believe this)

1 of Chris/Leon/Krauser

so. in retrospect, i did okay. 

it’s over 300 thousand words and I am kind of. surprised. and that is not counting the approximately 50k of wips i’m ignoring :’D

I’d also like to take a second to thank everyone who has ever sent me nice messages, commented on the fics, left reblogs or kudos, and the like. you’re what kept me going, I wouldn’t have gotten even half as much done otherwise.

without further ado, links to all of the fics under the cut! they’re organized by pairing, and the links take you to tumblr posts (bc I’m lazy) and a lot of them have a link in the post that takes you to ao3. (also can you see I put ~~so much~~ effort into naming the tumblr ficlets :’D feel free to laugh at me)

Joe/Nicky

a dog by any other name | 1,5k | The one wherein they end up owning a dog.

within the heart a flame of desires | 5,0k | Nicolo watches Yusuf have sex with others, desperately wishing he was with him instead. Until things change. He much prefers having Yusuf all for himself.

the world will wait | 2,4k | The one wherein Joe takes a lot of naps and the whole team gets to relax.

catch this | 650w | Every time Joe gets distracted (by Nicky), Andy tries to take him by surprise.

nobody’s perfect | 1,9k | Even immortal warriors have their weaknesses, Nile learns. Those just aren’t what she expected.

only in these arms | 780w | Nicky has trouble sleeping alone. Andy is a decent substitute, but only when Joe returns so does Nicky’s ability to get a decent night’s rest.

(please don’t explain) that time in Malta | 580w | Nile doesn’t think at first it would even be possible for Joe to be embarrassed. By anything. Until one evening, they talk about Malta.

cool it down boys | 400w | Andy gets no sleep. She gets revenge, though.

cowboy, baby | 340w | Nicky has the fashion sense of a sack of flour, and he is fine with that.

that day is not today | 4,9k | They struggle through the whole lab-experience. It isn’t the time yet to forgive Booker.

tea, soup and tlc | 2k | The one wherein Joe is not sick. At all. Nope. He isn't.

two drinks too many | 770w | Nicky is a little drunk. Joe loves him anyway.

safe haven | 3,9k | The one wherein everyone gets quality cuddles from Joe.

Piers/Leon

it was you that I found | 23,4k | Leon doesn’t really do relationships. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he always seems to be so bad at them. Of course entirely by accident he manages to build one without even realizing it. 

unexpected visitor | 690w | Piers is forced on bed-rest. At least Leon stops by.

got me all tied up (never let me go) | 4,0k | Piers doesn’t like suits. Leon loves Piers in a suit.

not so subtle | 210w | “Soo, were you checking me out all night, or was that just my imagination?” Leon asks suddenly, Piers chokes on his drink in surprise.

nighttime fools | 4,8k | Piers and Leon get arrested for public indecency. It’s not their fault, honest.

piers isn’t sick, really, he isn’t (he is) | 670w | “Oh, hi,” Piers said immediately, a goofy smile slipping onto his face. Man, he was happy to see Leon. So happy to see him.  

so you’ve met Xena | 620w | “Xena?” Leon turned to look at Piers, decidedly unimpressed. “You named your dog after the Warrior Princess?“

you’re cute, you know | 680w | Piers took the opportunity the second their gazes met. He grinned, as charmingly as he possibly managed, and said “You’re cute, you know that?“

kiss the nightmares away | 470w | Sleepily Piers blinked, trying to make his eyes work properly. He squinted at the digital clock on the bedside, and its harsh red numbers that told him it was 3:30, and confusedly he turned to frown at Leon. “Why aren’t you sleeping?“

smooth talking, Nivans, very smooth | 1,4k | Piers can not control what comes out of his mouth.

dream a little (dirty) dream of me | 1,3k | Piers wakes Leon up. That's it.

your shirt is my shirt | 950w | With a sigh Piers grabbed the only shirt available that wasn’t battery operated and obnoxious. It was Leon’s, so old that the print had faded completely, leaving only faint outlines behind. And when Piers pulled it on he grumbled again, realizing how tight it was.

here for you | 620w | Leon can’t sleep, but somehow Piers makes his anxieties bleed away. 

grand plans | 260w | “Are you seriously going to wear that?”

new puppy | 430w | “Hey there little guy.” Leon bent down to pick up the little puppy, straightening again to hold it against his chest. His hands looked almost comically large as the dog was so tiny, and carefully he cradled it close.

a little bit funny | 850w | So maybe Piers hadn’t slept properly in days, and the sleep deprivation was making him a little hysterical, but he didn’t even remember when a stupid comedy would’ve made him laugh so much.

for now our time is here | 4,4k | When Chris had told them to wait up and left them alone for a while, this probably wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but the second he’d closed the door behind himself the tension that had been brewing between Leon and Piers had snapped like a cord.

wanting too much | 1,1k | “Fucking hell, never do that to me again,“ Leon huffed out, clearly relieved beyond anything.

the prettiest agent with the prettiest hair | 1,2k | Piers stress-braids. Leon doesn't mind. And besides, Piers always undoes the braids whenever he's done with them. Until one night he forgets.

you can be the air that i breathe | 1,0k |  It wasn’t the first time Piers got punched in the face by a gigantic BOW so hard that the hit sent him flying. It was, however, the first time he was sent careening off a bridge and into the river below. And it was, definitely, the first time Leon saved his life.  

before I found you | 890w | The second Piers realized that the spikes covering the monster actually came off, and it was able to shoot them towards its attackers, it was already too late for him to react.

you don’t need to stay | 950w | Piers did his best to take care of Leon.  And as much as Leon appreciated it, he didn’t want to be a goddamn nuisance.

need me, baby, just a little stronger tonight | 2,1k | Leon really has to practice perfecting his poker face. At least he gets what he wants in the end.

be my valentine | 920w | “Are you sure?“ Piers asked for the tenth time, frowning down at the bar of Fazer blue chocolate. “I still think it’s… not a lot?”

you're the world that I wanna discover | 7,5k | The one wherein they buy a house, fall even more in love, and Leon reaches a breaking point.

call me (tell me what you feel) | 1,7k | Leon is stuck at the airport. At least he gets a nice phone call with Piers.

incentive to stay alive | 1,0k |  "Hey, Nivans, wake up,” he tried, but there was no answer, and he couldn’t help but let the worry in his voice. “Piers. Don’t you dare die on me. Chris would kill me if I let anything happen to his best sniper.”

blanket hog Leon | 880w | Grumbling, Piers turned around, and as he’d expected Leon was cozily wrapped in at least four blankets, leaving nothing for Piers, who was currently freezing his ass off.

I give you all I am | 2,0k | “Leon?” Piers approached in quick steps, watching recognition flicker in Leon’s eyes as he lowered his own weapon too. Leon was slumped against the wall, hunched over and holding his side, and there was something feverish about his eyes. Yet as soon as he realized it was Piers he gave a shaky grin, even if that was all he managed.

why are the gorgeous ones always taken | 810w | Piers blinked his eyes open slowly, expression scrunched up, and it took a long moment before he managed to actually focus his gaze on Leon’s face. When he did, a smile immediately bloomed on his face, and he even tilted his head a little. “Have I died and gone to heaven?” he croaked out, his voice rough from lack of use.

still intact | 1,1k | It took a week before the level of painkillers was correct and Piers woke up with a gasp instead of a scream. And the first thing he asked was for someone to kill him.

of guns and ...guns | 270w | Leon likes the way Piers handles his rifle. There’s drool involved.

always fashionable | 540w | Apparently having a crush on the well-dressed, professional Leon translated into being absolutely fucking in love with the sleep-mussed and squinty Leon.

misplaced phones and revelations | 660w | Chris finds Piers’ phone. Which turns out to be Leon’s phone. The two turn out to be dating. Chris feels kind of blind.

yee-haw! | 1,0k | Leon rides Piers. Wearing a cowboy hat.

you’re cute when you’re angry | 620w | When he’s stressed, Piers washes the dishes. Angrily.  

want to drink (with) you | 1,1k | Piers is an embarrassing drunk. Leon loves him anyway. 

and each one of us is a path somewhere | 22,2k | Piers gets thrown twenty years back in time. Into Raccoon City, 1998. He’d heard about what Leon went through that night, but he never thought he’d have to actually experience it himself. Together with bright eyed rookie Leon.

hold me close | 560w | Leon falls asleep against Piers’ shoulder. 

goatee man | 890w | Piers thinks growing a beard might make him look more manly. 

promises kept | 2,9k | Leon finds out Piers isn't dead after all. He's just locked up in a BSAA research facility with no one allowed in to visit.

stay with me tonight (stay until the end of life) | 2,2k | Leon doesn’t know I’m contacting you, but a fair warning, because I’m worried. He was found unconscious on the bathroom floor at 10AM. They took him to the hospital, but he checked himself out. Look after him, okay?  

4am | 760w | “What can I say,” Piers grinned against Leon’s neck, “I was dreaming of you.” He had no reservations about moving his hips, letting Leon feel just how nice the dream had been.

caffeinated | 550w | Someone gives Piers coffee. Leon knows what to do with that excess energy.

and i'm you and you're me | 7,0k | The one wherein Leon and Piers accidentally swap bodies.

girls’ day in bed | 780w | Piers and Leon wake up one morning with boobs and other assorted lady parts. It’s a fun day. (Spoiler alert: they have a lot of sex.)

worlds apart | 3,2k | Krauser kidnaps Piers to lure Leon to him. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

not again | 530w | Watching Piers’ mutation brings Leon some very unfortunate flashbacks. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

gorgeous | 300w | Piers calls Leon gorgeous.

the most comfortable pillow | 350w | Leon falls asleep with his head on Piers’ lap.

beautiful | 840w | Even after losing an arm and ruining half of his face, Piers is the most beautiful thing to Leon.

as seen in adult films | 580w | Piers doesn’t know one damn thing about dishwashers. He volunteers to fix one anyway.

never letting go | 260w | Leon is goddamn comfortable right here. He isn’t going to move a single inch.

nose kisses | 390w | Piers is cute when he’s cranky. Just ask Leon.

no other half could ever make me whole | 6,3k | The one wherein they get a scare and there's a proposal.

the luxury of being held | 690w | The fabric of Piers’ hoodie is the perfect place to hide. (feat. Theo’s amazing art)

just one step from heaven, one step from paradise | 2,7k | The one wherein Piers makes sure Leon doesn’t freeze, and they enjoy their vacation.

all is fair in war, love and Mario Kart | 600w | Piers sucks at Mario Kart.

Chris/Leon

if i never see all my dreams come true, the one that mattered the most was you | 5,9k |  Chris enlists Leon’s help on a mission as a clever ruse to make the man take a break he so obviously needs. 

and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow | 11,1k | Chris and Leon try to fight their way out of a castle and feelings take over.

you are my heart, you are my home | 3,2k | Chris is sick, and he’s being extra dramatic about it.

from the gates of longing | 5,5k | Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.

how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans | 2,3k | Piers accidentally keeps calling Chris dad, and Chris and Leon sort of unofficially adopt him.

right here by your side | 1,9k | When Chris shows up to check up on Leon, four days into his self-imposed flu-exile, at first Leon wants to just throw him out. But then it turns into a relationship-building moment and suddenly he can’t mind all that much.

about time | 1,8k | Leon is freezing. Chris warms him up.

yet you'll lose yourself in me | 3,3k | The one wherein Chris is generously proportioned and Leon kind of loves it. (whispers: size kink)

beyond tomorrow | 1,7k | Leon ends up in the hospital after a mission, Chris hurries to see if he’s okay. Claire is already there.

look at those heart-eyes | 180w | Quickly Chris shook his head, reluctantly pulling his attention away from Leon.

there’s a cat in the sink | 220w | “There’s a cat in the sink, and we don’t own a cat.”

from the future | 300w | It’s 1998 and Leon comes face to face with himself, from 2017.

surprise redfield | 250w | “Don’t worry,“ Chris says, nonchalantly as if it’s an everyday occurrence that he’s standing in Leon’s kitchen.

need this feeling to last (there's no denying) | 2,4k | “Why don’t you fuck me yourself, you coward!“

something solid, something good | 520w | Chris was so warm, and that together with all the glorious skin-on-skin contact made Leon happily sink back into the embrace.

come closer | 520w | Leon is done with Chris being so careful around him.  

your arms around me | 690w | Chris woke up cold and alone.  

a needed break | 440w | Sometimes Chris got so single-mindedly stuck on a task that he forgot everything around himself.

the iron maiden | 820w | Suddenly it was hard to breathe, like he couldn’t fill his lungs with oxygen no matter how much he tried, to the point that his vision started to get blurry. 

robin hood: chris in tights | 480w | Chris’ face was twisted into a theatrical grimace as he tugged a little on the green tights we was wearing. They were like painted on and although he didn’t really have body issues in general, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about it.

luckless romance | 4,0k | Leon and Chris turn a drunken argument into something better. (Please note: The link takes you to the last part of six.) 

take my hand | 920w | The worst part, by far, is not seeing anything. There are sounds, people talking like he isn’t even in the room, machines beeping and doors opening, quick busy steps against the floor.

let me take you to the edge of the stars and back again | 3,0k | Chris takes his sweet, sweet time before he gives Leon what he wants.

I’m going to seduce you | 1,1k | Jesus Christ, they’d had sex. Leon groaned again, this time less because of the headache and more because he felt so unbearably dumb. He’d probably had the best sex of his life, and he couldn’t remember it.

a little help | 430w | Those fucking idiots, Claire thought for the millionth time, as she watched her brother give the biggest dumbest heart eyes at Leon, who was blissfully oblivious about everything going on around him.

the way to anyone’s heart (the answer is food, good food)  | 2,4k | Chris asks Leon to teach him how to cook. (Spoiler: Leon doesn't know how.)

oh the horror | 270w | “I seriously don’t understand why you want to watch this shit,” Leon groaned, pressing his face into Chris’ chest.

jealousy | 670w | Chris swallowed hard, downed the last of his beer, and took the leap. “I’m jealous okay.”

twist me up | 510w | Sure Chris had always known that Leon was flexible. Sure he had seen him even do these weird-ass yoga poses more than once. There was nothing new to it.

meet the parents | 600w | Leon brings Chris home for Christmas.

precious cargo | 930w | Chris lugs Leon around like luggage.

it's always been you | 870w  | The hardest thing for Leon was when someone he cared about was in danger but there was nothing he could do about it. And then Chris fell into a ravine.

come away with me (to another world) | 2,0k | Leon finally gets a vacation.

first time sucker | 930w | “I don’t know, because it’s fun?” Leon said. “I promise you, you’re missing out.”

read my scars | 1,9k | Chris learns about Leon's scars.

battered and bruised | 650w | Ignoring the bruises and scrapes he had, Chris turned around and sprinted towards Leon, gritting his teeth against the strain moving put on his side.

a different kind of proposal | 500w | “If you keep fucking me this good,“ he breathed out, unsure if Chris even heard the words, “I’ll have to marry you.“

welcome home | 370w | The door had barely fallen shut behind Chris when Leon was in his personal space, grabbing him by the lapels of the trench coat he was wearing so he could pull him in close for a kiss.

I’d always choose you | 280w | Ada was something they didn’t talk about. When someone, anyone, brought her up Leon clammed up and changed the subject. And Chris had tried to be understanding, had tried to be patient, had tried his very best to respect Leon’s boundaries with this. But Chris was only human.

fuck or die | 1,7k | Chris gets hit by a weird plant, and his hard-on just will not go down. Until Leon takes matters into his hands.

i need a hug | 470w | “I think,“ Leon sighed, but then it was like all fight bled from him and he slumped a little forward. “I need a hug.“

oh no there’s only one bed | 990w | “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just one night. I’m sure you’ve slept with worse persons than me.”

the butt that became a pillow | 420w | Chris falls asleep on Leon.

like father like son | 2,8k | Leon finds out he has a son.

monster magnet | 1,1k | Leon didn’t know when it had become something he recognized so easily. When had it become so normal for mutated creatures to look at him with such unadulterated lust.

please be okay | 620w | Leon faints from sheer exhaustion. 

like father like... grandson? | 4,1k | Liam proposes to a girl but ends up with Piers anyway. Chris and Leon are the friendly neighborhood grandpas. Their grandson is adorable, and Leon thinks he takes after him. Obviously. (feat. Piers/OMC)

black lace | 790w | Chris gets to come home to Leon in thigh high black lacy stockings and matching lingerie, instantly sending Chris’ brains into an overdrive.

at least let me help | 790w | Leon opens the door an inch, Chris uses the given opportunity to slam it wide open. Metaphorically speaking.

bridal style | 200w | Leon refuses the medical check up. So Chris carries him.

dance with me | 1,0k | Wedding planning with two schmoopy idiots in love.

drunken cravings | 480w | Chris and Leon are drunk, hungry, and incapable of cooking.

blow me | 650w | Chris gets his brains sucked out through his dick.

Claire knows best | 610w | Chris tries to set Leon up with Claire. Then Claire does set Leon up with Chris.

chase the demons away | 940w | Chris struggles with nightmares, Leon is there to hold him through them.

dance me to the end of love | 550w | Leon struggles to learn to dance.

Piers/Leon, Chris/Leon

fate changed (we keep loving as if the story isn't over yet) | 34,3k | In hindsight, Leon knew the second he opened the door and saw Chris standing there, dressed in his service uniform, mouth pinched to a grim line and unable to meet Leon’s gaze straight. There was only one logical reason for it, only one way to explain why he was standing there like he would rather be anywhere else, and Leon almost slammed the door right in his face. --  Or the one wherein no one really knows how to handle their grief, but somehow life goes on anyway. (I’m still so proud of this one negl)

Chris/Leon/Krauser

hearts beating fast (let's make this moment last) | 5,7k | Chris gets invited in for a threesome. The clever thing would’ve been to refuse, knowing his unrequited, helpless feelings. But then again, he’s just a man.

OT3

double the fun | 3,1k | Truthfully, Leon hadn’t thought his day could get this much better. Everything had gone wrong from the second he’d woken up and he’d already written the day off entirely, until the moment Chris had looked him dead in the eye and asked “How do you feel about two at once?”

of cuddles and blanket forts | 620w | Piers and Leon build a blanket fort. Chris would think they’re idiots, but they might actually be kind of brilliant.

hair straightener or waffle iron? | 310w | Chris and Piers break Leon’s hair straightener.

the last piece of the puzzle | 2,7k | The one wherein two becomes three.

not alone | 2,3k | Completely on accident, Piers and Chris happen to be there to save Leon from a tight spot. Cuddles ensue.

Krauser/Leon

drive me crazy (your eyes made me crave for this) | 2,3k | It was the best sex Krauser had ever had in his life. That’s why he kept coming back to Leon, kept saying ‘yes’ every single time the man as much as hinted that he might be up for meeting. He was getting off, and he was enjoying every second of it, and that was the extent of it. There certainly weren’t any feelings involved. None. None at all. 

enjoying the view | 200w | Krauser likes ass-watching.

carry me to bed | 440w | Slowly Leon was coming back to his senses. Sweat was cooling on his skin, the hard surface of the table underneath him starting to feel uncomfortable.  

and I lied that we would be fine | 1,1k | Leon knows he isn’t supposed to be doing this. There’s a vague recollection of something more important, something he should be focusing on, but the vast majority of his world has narrowed down onto the slick slide of their bodies, on the cheap scratchy sheets on his skin, on the sound of Krauser’s voice in his ear, and he can’t bring himself to care.

yet never enough | 1,9k | Krauser likes mirrors.

of wanting | 400w | Leon’s laughter echoed in the room as Krauser pinned him against the wall, before shutting him up with a ravenous kiss.

better with you | 590w | Despite knowing Krauser had his back, Leon was genuinely surprised when the man sat down right next to him instead of telling him to suck it up and get moving.

breakfast | 530w | Lately things had slowly begun to shift. And Leon wasn’t sure yet what was going on. Or how he felt about it.

kill me now | 900w | It was more than clear how much Krauser enjoyed their frantic attempts to kill one another, and Leon’s traitorous body shivered in response, the memory of times long gone returning like no time had passed at all.

lust that I've already spilled | 1,4k | “C’mon, Leon,” Krauser taunted, grinning as widened his stance. “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”

will you just look at me | 650w | Krauser refuses to do feelings.

Wesker/Chris

I am the light that shall lead you to darkness | 1,8k | In all honesty, Chris wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up here: a panting mess, bent over a massive wooden table with Wesker holding him down laughably easily. 

the light to drown in darkness | 2,0k | Wesker craves Chris. So Wesker takes Chris.

love-hate-(obsession?) | 470w | Wesker is a lovesick fool. If he wasn’t also a homicidal maniac, Jill would almost feel sorry for him.

#the old guard #resident evil #kaysanova #chreon #metaltango #nivannedy #chrisker #kreon #idk what i'm forgetting it's 2 am and i've spent seven hours on this #have pity on me :'D #my fics #2020 #this was so much work #i am praying for the links to work properly #so i don't need to touch this again nnhhh

[c-c-cherry]

Any family headcanons for the gang members who's families we weren't told about??

Guess who was doing headcanons again at 4am??? ME!!! I’m sorry also with the much wanted help of @jjadegreen because she’s officially my headcanon pal and she always helps me a lot with this shit :)

I’m literally posting these at 5:45 am but they sounded good in my sleep-deprived head and they looked good on paper from my sleep-deprived vision so I’m just gonna post this now and worry about it tomorrow!

I use these headcanons regardless of whether its an Everyone Live’s situation or not so there are clashes between fics like the Storm and The Unknown (I usually just use most of these headcanons regardless of what I’m writing and what universe and whatever)

I know I say this whenever I post ANY fucking headcanons, but I’m sorry.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Abbacchio

-There’s not much to say about his parents. They were pretty average. All they wanted was for him to be successful; get a nice job, find someone to love. They weren’t too close with him, but they were there.

-He did, however, have an older sister by the name of Pantera Abbacchio

-And she was even more goth than he was.

-When lil Leone was just starting out in high school, she already was in her last year and by then she was already a fully-ascended goth goddess

-They weren’t that close (they had a 4 year difference) and she always thought he was too enthusiastic about everything. They never really connected

-BUT—

-He got really curious and thought she was really cool so he used to steal her clothes and makeup all the time and all her friends made fun of her for it, but she secretly thought it was adorable

-She was cold at first, but soon started sharing everything with him (she lent him all her fishnet clothes and purple dresses and crazy silver jewelry and even let him use her lipstick sometimes

-His parents thought it was a bit...unconventional at first but they wanted him to be happy so they supported it

-One day after school he got dragged into an alleyway (bb Abba was puny I don’t make the rules) and just got the absolute shit beaten out of him. She had poetry club after school so as she was walking to the parking lot she found him there bawling his eyes out because he got blood all over her favourite shirt

-She took him shopping that day (she put concealer on him in the mall parking lot to hide the bruises from their parents)

-They also got ice cream

-She didn’t approve of him becoming a cop (she don’t like cops one bit) but when he let his partner die and learned that he took bribes, she was so fucking angry. She never wanted to talk to him again

-His parents tried to stay connected, but the family seemed too fragmented and everyone was still angry at him

-Years later, she decided that maybe she should talk to him, to try and reconnect

-When Giorno picked up the phone instead and explained everything to her, she realized she was too late

-She was a sobbing, screaming mess and she felt like a terrible sister

-She felt like if she had called sooner, he wouldn’t have gotten wrapped up in the mafia

-Giorno invited her to the funeral, and they properly met there

-It was an open-casket, and in his will he requested that he wore the first dress that his sister bought him. (It had to be tailored a bit, but it fit)

-She planted purple lilies by his grave, and although she hasn’t talked to the gang since the funeral, the flowers are always watered.

Fugo

-His parents were assholes. Rich assholes.

-They gave him everything he wanted in exchange that he keep up their reputation, but even now, he still felt like he never did that right

-He had a little brother, Budino Fugo

-His brother was the last thing on his mind when he went to University, Panna would almost call himself an only child

-They weren’t close at all. They were always separated because of Fugo’s unpredictable anger and their house was so big that the only time they would see each other were during family greeting card photoshoots and for the painting of the giant portrait that sat in their foyer

-They got it re-painted once they kicked him out

-Budino was only three when Fugo was disowned, so by the time he’s older, his mysterious older brother is nothing but a distant memory, only someone he would pose with for photos and large gatherings

-Any photos of Panna are gone by the time he’s five, as are any traces of him existing. Anytime he would ask about the blond that disappeared out of their lives, he was always denied any answer

-He learned not to answer any questions

-Unbeknownst to him, he ended up looking exactly like his brother. If you were to place two photos of them side-by-side at the same age, you would barely be able to tell them apart

-He grew up without ever really knowing that his brother existed and he always thought of himself as an only child

-He grew up to be the perfect child. Charming, happy, calm, intelligent. He became the Pannacotta Fugo that his parents always wanted

-Everyone loved him, and although he didn’t go University that young, his charm and good reputation made up for it

-Budino would like to say that he lived a good life, but sometimes he wakes up and wonders who the blond look-alike is that always seems to pop up in his dreams. He wonders why he feels like something is missing, like there’s something that everyone isn’t telling him. He wonders who was holding him during photoshoots and who his parents used to yell at in the fragments of his memories

-But he shrugs it off. He has everything he could ever need, so why should he worry about that?

Mista

-Mista’s parents weren’t poor, but they weren’t exactly rich either. Living in a big family, they had to learn how to spread out their spending, and sometimes they didn’t exactly have enough to eat every night

-Both of his parents worked endlessly long hours and barely made it back by dinnertime, but sometimes they did, and every night when they didn’t, they still had food on the table

-Mista never hated his parents, but they were pretty dependent on him. They needed him to look after his sisters while they were working, and although he found it irritating, he never resented them for it

-The only time Mista can confidently say the number four without wincing is when he’s talking about his sisters

-Four of them, to be exact

-Mela was the youngest, around six or seven the last time Mista heard from her. She was pretty fragile most of the time and had to stay home from school a lot because of how weak her immune system was

-Mista missed a lot of school taking care of her, but she was always fun to be around and he managed to graduate with pretty good grades by the end of it

-He soon found out that she shared the same name as Narancia’s mother. He knew the two had more in common than they thought

-Stella was around nine the last time Mista saw her. She was the most professional and serious person he had ever met. She got incredible grades in school and her teachers often said that she was destined to be something like a doctor or a famous scientist

-Although she wasn’t exactly a jokester like her brother, he always managed to get her to crack a smile once in a while

-Gioia was thirteen, and she fit her name perfectly; she was the most joyous person Mista had ever met. Almost the exact opposite of Stella (she would always make fun of her for being such a prude)

-She loved cooking and would always help Mista out with taking care of Mela, but she loved animals even more than food

-They couldn’t afford a pet, but she always befriended the neighbourhood cats and Mista was even saving up to buy her a cat or snake (she loved snakes)

-Sera was fifteen, and somehow even quieter than Stella. She always seemed very reserved and closed off from the rest of the world, even Mista couldn’t get her to laugh

-She had a soft spot for Gioia, Mista noticed that the two of them would sneak out of the house at night and he wondered if she was a different person away from the rest of them

-Mista sees Sera and Giorno as almost one in the same, which is why he doesn’t exactly know how to react when he sees Gio in such a state in Stormverse

-After he went to jail, no one went to visit him. His parents were furious that he could murder a man, and he never saw his sisters again

-Stella was so angry and disappointed the last time he saw them all in that holding cell, she refused to even look at him. Gioia was bawling her eyes out and Sera gave him the hardest stare he had ever seen. Mela asked when he was coming home.

-He never did.

-When Bruno bailed him out of jail, he managed to give both of his parents a pretty large raise and promotion in their jobs

-They were always there for dinner after that, always there for them, and that’s all Mista ever really wanted for his family in the end.

Giorno

I’m sorry, bros. I have no headcanons for him. Only child, shitty family. All he really had was Gold Experience’s presence and a pack of cards.

Trish

-Donatella Una was a single mother, and her and Trish were very close because of it

-Her mother was beautiful and taught her everything she knows about the fashion world

-She had the most beautiful singing voice and always dreamed of being in the music industry -When Trish voiced interest in trying out for a few local parts, she was overjoyed and they instantly bonded over it. Trish claims later when her music career kicks off that her mother was her biggest inspiration

-Donatella was the absolute QUEEN of Girl’s Nights™—she would always go all out on snacks, makeovers, shitty romcoms...you name it and she probably spent way too much money on it

-They would do each other’s nails all the time and her mother taught her how to do her hair every morning

-She was in the middle of teaching Trish how to do winged eyeliner when she had to go to the hospital. She died before she could finish teaching her

-She never resented her father (well, before she met him, that is), even her mother knew that there was no way he could have known she was pregnant, but she always liked to think that he would have taken care of them if he did

-That opinion changed very quickly

-Always had that mineral water on hand—Ms. Una said hydrate or diedrate

-She couldn’t cook for the life of her so they got takeout A LOT and Trish has been to a fair share of fancy restaurants

-Her and her mom were going to go out together after school and get pedicures before the school got a call that she had been rushed to the hospital

Narancia

-He was an only child and his mother was always very kind to him

-She was the kind of mom who would cut your sandwich into a different shape every morning and made sure you got enough water and sunscreen and stuff

-Before she got her eye infection, the two of them would always be spending time together. His father was nice enough to the both of them and was never cruel while she was alive, but the moment she was admitted to the hospital, something inside him kind of unclicked and he never bounced back from it

-Although his father would come with him for hospital visits, he mostly stood to the side and spoke with the doctors while Nara would sit with his mama

-The hospital had all this stuff for sick patients like therapy animals and music and a really beautiful garden so Narancia would bring his mom outside all the time to sit under the apple trees

-And YES, he DID grow an apple tree in the backyard in Stormverse thanks to Giorno

Bruno

-It was just him and his dad after his mom left

-Bruno was a lot like Paolo in the way that the two of them were super stoic and rarely showed weakness around each other

-They were still very close

-They would go fishing together!!! Bruno was taught about boats and fishing and pretty much everything about the trade

-When he was little, he wanted to be just like his father :)

-When Paolo would go out for the day, he would hang around the dock in the summertime waiting for him to come back

-All the fishermen’s kids would hang around there too whenever there wasn’t school, so Bruno used to play with them all the time

-He got his first point as “cool mom friend” when he saved a tourist’s kid from drowning when they fell off the dock when he was around nine or ten

-The tourists gave Paolo an extra big tip that day :)

-He absolutely got his savior complex when his parents divorced and he chose to stay with his dad

-Pretty much nothing scared baby Bruno but thunderstorms hit different

-His father was always really careful about going out on really cloudy days, but once in a while a storm would hit and he would be forced to dock somewhere else until it passed through

-Bruno would sit there for hours not knowing if he was okay or not

-Bruno Bucciarati does not cry, but on those nights he did.

-Because he couldn’t lose his dad, too.

-He would always come back, of course, and he would always ask why Bruno’s eyes and nose were so red

- “Just Summer allergies, papà. Don’t worry about it.”

-He loves the rain, but thunder still kind of freaks him out 

-After his father got attacked, he dropped out of school to work for Passione. When he was well enough to go home, his dad finally figured it out and they had a huge fight about it

-Bruno slept half-awake by the front door with a pocket knife in his hand and he would board up all the windows

-The longer he worked for Passione the more him and his father drifted apart. Bruno was always paranoid after that, but he could never tell him why and it caused a huge rift between them

-His mother didn’t come to Paolo’s funeral

-He moved out almost immediately after the funeral and Polpo got him a place to live after he heard what happened

-He doesn’t often visit his father’s grave, but he constantly thinks about him with every decision he makes

-He always wanted to retire someone close to the sea.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Yeah ahaha did you know I’m capable of really sad headcanons? YOU DO NOW. Were Fugo and Abba’s ridiculously long? YeAh :) Were Nara and Trish’s ridiculously short? Also YeAh :(

Again, a wonderful beautiful thanks to @jjadegreen because my small brain self can’t come up with all the headcanons on my own ;’)

If you’ve got a question, come and vibe and hit up my inbox!! <3

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo's bizzare adventure golden wind #bruno buccellati #bruno bucciarati #giorno giovanna #trish una #narancia ghirga #pannacotta fugo #leone abbacchio #family feels #headcanons #ask-c-c-cherry #guido mista #again Im sorry half of these are so depresso

[justtrying-studyblog]

The Meaning of Life & Other Discoveries at 18

Hey, it's been a bit, hasn't it? I've thought about updating sooner, but frankly, my life was turned upside down and I never knew just how to phrase everything that has happened. Not to say that I feel ready now, but I need to tell you guys.

I'm not going to Keele University (school in England) anymore.

It's weird for me to say, part of me feels ashamed. As though it were my fault as if this just proves that I truly am a failure. As if the other shoe has finally dropped. However, in reality, it just wasn't the right choice.

I had a lot of worries from the beginning about that school. It took them a month after my IB results were posted to finally access them and tell me I wasn't accepted into their forensic science program. It broke my heart, to be honest. I had never truly failed at something like that before, never had someone tell me straight out no for something I've worked my butt off and have been praying for. However, they did accept me into their law program, where I would be studying law and criminology. Handy dandy, right? Forensic scientists still need some law background to really succeed, right? However, it was law in a country that I don't live in, and don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life in.

Nevertheless, I accepted and started getting ready for the school year. Emails were being sent almost daily filled with questions, pleas for reconsideration, and the occasional update request. Because, within a month of being accepted, I still had not received an IT account, student email, or any visa information. I hadn't even gotten any responses to my emails asking about them.

Flash to a week before, I had tickets booked, bags packed, bid my farewells to everyone, and was panicking because I still did not have a visa nor an IT account. A week before I left, I finally received the information to apply for a visa, and promptly submitted my application, however, it was Friday, and all centers to get my fingerprints for the visa were closed. This was the last step and the end was in sight, but there was a BRP shaped hole between me and it.

To say I was stressed is an understatement. I spent every night panicked, crying, and trying to convince myself that I did want to study law and that this was the right choice for me. Unfortunately, they also had a horrible call center and they always seemed to be closed (especially with the 7 hr time difference). So, I stayed up late three days before my trip (it was previously the weekend) to contact them.

I was binging Great British Bake Off while waiting for their call centers to open so that I could finally sort out everything. Come 4am, I'm not able to get a hold of anyone since the department I needed didn't appear to have working phones for some reason. My sleep-deprived, anxious self then receives an email that just broke me.

We cannot do anything, you will have to sort it out on your own.

I snapped, I was exhausted and more stressed than I have ever been in my life and I just broke down in my living room at 4 in the morning. My parents came downstairs and helped me calm down and they talked through a solution with me, and at 5am I went to bed, a single thought echoing in my mind.

"I don't want to go"

It's scary. You're expected to figure out your entire life's path at just 18. You get advice from everyone; parents, sisters, teachers, and friends who all think they know best, but in the end, it's on you. And after having your hand held your entire academic career and being told exactly what to do, this is a very daunting task.

Especailly when you feel as though you've chosen wrong. One thought that kept circulating in my head is that this was my first decision in my adult life, and I can't seem to get it right.

Although, despite this decision being yours to make, I do recommend talking things through with someone you value the opinion of. For me, that's my oldest sister. We sat down the next day and she asked me why I wanted to go. When I couldn't answer, she asked me why I would be paying all that money to go somewhere to study something I don't even care for. And then, it all made sense. I wouldn't.

All this fear of making the wrong choice. Of feeling like no matter what I did, I'd be disappointing someone. And in the end, I had to stay true to what I want, why I want to continue learning, and what I want to learn. The next day, I sent out an email to Keele withdrawing my application and started my search for a school that will answer my calls, let me study what I want, and not make me stress beyond belief.

It's tough, I'll admit. Part of me is ashamed to not be in school now and watching all my friends make a new life for themselves in their respective schools. I never imagined this path for me.

But I'm starting to think that's the secret of life. You can't anticipate what's going to happen next. Sure, you can make plans and have a general idea, but it never truly works out that way, does it? I mean, I never imagined my senior year would be taken over by a global pandemic, or that I wouldn't be studying straight out of high school.

Life doesn't go how you expect it to. No one controls it's path, we merely learn to walk it.

This isn't how I expected my life to go, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means I'll have more to tell years from now. And that also doesn't mean my life is immediately better, I'm now back at step 1 of finding a university, but now I have the hindsight to not settle, and to go for what I want, not what I am expected to want. University is a journey, and man, if this is the beginning, I can't even imagine what's about to come. So, for now...

✨Stay safe and take a deep breath, you're where you're meant to be✨

#study blog #studyblr #life update #university #rant #advice

[jung-snoopy-woo]

How I Met Your Grandfather

~Chapter 5~

(I feel like Seungmin also deserves to be in a gif for this chapter 😂🙈 gif credit: @ lottawijma via weheartit)

Other Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 (coming soon!!)

Pairing: Bang Chan × Fem! reader, twin brother! Felix

Genre: fluff, a bit angsty.

Word count: 1.8k+

Warnings: mentions of insecurities? (The reader being unhappy with her body/the way she looks etc.)

Summary: Felix decides to finally tell Y/N about Chan’s feelings for her and asks her if she feels the same. When she says she does, Felix lets his friend know, so Chan finally finds the courage to ask Y/N out :)

Special thanks to @vernonvsblog​ and the anon from this post for encouraging me to keep writing and for making me feel motivated!! ❤️❤️

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You didn’t know when was the last time you saw Felix’s eyes worried like this.

Maybe it was when you fell down the stairs a few years ago… Your whole thigh had bruises in every possible color, and you couldn’t walk properly for a whole week. He couldn’t bare seeing you getting hurt (and of course- you felt the same).

“Lix… What’s going on?”, You finally asked, looking at him. His eyes met yours, still troubled. What is it that’s bothering him so much?

You giggled, jokingly hitting him, trying to light up the mood. “It’s because of practice, huh? You can’t stop thinking about work even during the last days of break? Come on, just go to sleep and don’t think about it”.

He sighed.

Oh no, you thought. The smile leaving your face, changing to a worried look. It’s important.

“Y/N..”, he started. “What do you think of Chris hyung?”

Chris, your heart skipped a bit from the mentioning of his name. You weren’t prepared for this question. What do you think about Chris? Well, in short, you liked him. You liked how nice he was to you, you liked his voice and his smile, and so many more things about him. You had a big crush on this boy.

But this was before Felix told you that Chris wants to date someone. You thought you were over these feelings for him, but after hearing his name again… and this question… What even is this question? You thought, your brows now furrowed. Felix’s worried look and this weird question, so out of the blue… They had a fight, didn’t they?

As much as you liked Chris, if they actually did fight, you were ready to take your twin’s side no matter what. The sweet guy with the cute dimpled smile can go to hell.

“Well, he’s nice.. I guess?”, You finally said, avoiding eye contact with your brother. You hated the thought of Chris, who was always there for your brother, hurting him in any way. “But if he did something to you, I swear–”

“No no…”, He assured. “It’s just that… I really want to hear your honest opinion because.. well…”, he tried, his eyes now looking at the floor.

“Felix…”

“He likes you”, he said, finally letting the words out. “Chris hyung likes you, Y/N”. He sighed again, then turned to look at you, trying to read your now surprised face.

You didn’t know how to react. You were screaming inside, but you weren’t sure if it was from the happiness of being liked back by your crush for the first time, or the relief you felt knowing Felix’s friendship isn’t ruined, as you knew how important Chris is to him.

“So now I’m asking you, Y/N”, he started again, his eyes now meeting yours. “What do you think of Chris hyung? Do you.. do you think of him this way too?”

You were quiet. A little too quiet for Felix’s liking.

So many thoughts were racing through your head. You knew there could be consequences, and you didn’t want Felix to get hurt because of it. You were also 100% sure the same thoughts were on your twin’s mind too, as the look in his eyes just said it all. Chris has been his best friend for so long, being there for him from the very first moment, he was like a brother to him.

Felix could see you were deep in thought. He felt sorry for overwhelming you with this information now, as you all had such a great night together, after so long. He was about to tell you that it’s okay, and that he was against the whole idea anyways.

But then, you started nodding, a smile starting to form on your lips again.

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(a/n: I thought this photo can make it more clear, and easier to imagine what’s going on lol… Also, Chan used to be on the top bunk of Minho’s bed so that’s why in previous chapters Seungmin was the one to see him struggling, but from what I know, these days Chan sleeps with Changbin and Felix 😅😅)

(The next day)

“Now what?”, Seungmin asked excitedly as Chan hung up the phone.

Chan and Minho were sitting on Minho’s bed, in the dorm room, along with Seungmin and Hyunjin who were sitting on Hyunjin’s. They decided to get back to the dorms 2 days before break was over, as it was their turn to clean up the place and they thought doing it beforehand would leave them some time to work on other stuff too.

They all heard Chan’s phone call. It was Felix, who told him that he talked to his twin sister, Y/N, and asked her about her feelings for him.

At first, they were all tensed, worried about the answer. They knew Felix didn’t approve of this relationship, and they already thought of every single scenario and every way this could go wrong… But when they heard Felix’s deep voice saying that you actually like their hyung back (and semi-jokingly threatening to kill him if he ever hurts you), despite the worry they could sense in his voice, they almost let out their screamings of joy.

“Gosh, I don’t even know what to do”, he put his phone down on the bed, ran his hands through his hair with a smile, as he got up and started walking around the room, stopping himself from jumping around like an idiot.

Now that Felix couldn’t hear, Hyunjin finally started showing his excitement, as Seungmin tried to calm him down but ended up laughing, just as excited. They wanted the best for their leader, who also happened to be their best friend. He always cares for them that he sometimes forgets about himself. Thinking of the idea of him being happy, made them even happier.

“You can take her to the movies..”, Minho started, but after seeing the others’ faces, changed his mind. “Or you don’t?”

“It’s a bit traumatic”, Seungmin said and scratched the back of his head, then faced Chan. “Hyung, what do you have in mind?”

“Well…”, Chan said. “You guys know how much I love going to the beach, right? so I thought maybe it could be a pretty cute place for a date…?”.

The boys nodded and Hyunjin smiled. “I think that’s a great idea”.

“Okay, so now I should think of what I am going to do”, Chan started walking around again. “I have to think of something, I have to prepare something, I have to–”

“This can wait”, Minho said, handing Chan his phone back. “Go call her first, before she changes her mind!”.

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A date on the beach??, You thought. Now that’s not the best idea…

You were standing in the middle of your room, after hanging up a phone call with Chris. 

You loved going to the beach, of course. But on a date? With someone you liked? Him seeing you in a swimsuit??

No no no.

But you couldn’t tell him “no” because he sounded so excited, nervous and cute on the phone, and the way you could hear how happy he was when you said “I’d love to”, imagining his smiling looks, you just couldn’t do anything about it. You too got so excited, that you didn’t even think about your insecurities at that moment. 

All your life you felt like this- seeing models on tv or the magazines, you always wished to have a body like theirs, but no matter what you did- you just couldn’t change the way your body looked. That’s why you hated swimsuits so much and tried avoiding going to the beach when there were a lot of people. 

A knock on the door shook you out of you thoughts.

“Can I come in now?”, You heard Felix’s voice from behind the door. When you saw Chris’s number on your phone screen, you asked Felix to wait outside so you could talk to him in private (”Faster, Felix!! Before he hangs up!”, to which he could only giggle and quickly leave the room).

“YES!!”, you said, and he opened the door and made his way to sit on the bed. He saw your troubled eyes, and wondered whether or not he should plan his friend’s murder.

“Did it go badly? Did he say something that hurt you?”, He asked. “Because I can–”

“NO! No, no, it was great, actually. And he asked me out!”, you said, trying to smile.You’re going out with such an amazing guy, you told yourself.

“But…?”, He asked. “I can sense something’s wrong, Y/N”.

You let out a sigh. “It’s a beach date”, you finally said and looked at him.

“Oh”, Felix said. He knew you better than anyone, and you both knew each other’s worries, fears, your likes and dislikes and basically almost everything. He knew how ashamed and insecure you felt about your body. He never understood why though, but never questioned it, hoping someday you’d understand how amazing you are. “And you couldn’t tell him ‘no’, right?”

You nodded.

“But I guess I’ll just do what I always do”, you said after a thought, now showing him a small smile. “So… everything will be okay”.

He nodded. “So when is it?”

“Thursday, at 5pm…”, you said, now more excited as you thought of it. It was 3 days away from today. So close.

Felix gave you the best smile he could pull. As long as you’re happy, he can save his disapproval and his worries to himself. “Okay, cool”, He said as he got up. “Good luck, sis!”, he added as he left the room. 

Everything will be okay, he told himself on the way to his room, repeating your words in his head over and over again.

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4am. Chan read from his phone screen.

After his phone call with you, he got really nervous, so he tried looking for things you can do on a beach date, and tried planning how it’s going to be etc. The boys made fun of him for doing that, of course, and tried assuring him that he’s going to do great. “When you’ll be with her you’ll know what to do”, Hyunjin said, and the others agreed. “She’s really nice and fun, there’s no need to read these stupid articles and plan so much… just let it be”, Minho added. He knew they must be right, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about it, and every new picture or article brought new thoughts and worries.

“Hyung…”, Seungmin’s sleepy voice made Chan jump a little. He forgot he was sleeping in their room tonight, so he doesn’t sleep alone. “Please, just go to sleep”.

Chan turned to look at Seungmin. “How can I? I’m so nervous, I think I’m going crazy…”

“She likes you back, hyung! She’s probably just as excited as you are”, Seungmin said tiredly, and added, “You’re such a great guy and she seems to be really nice, you have nothing to worry about”.

Chan sighed. Seungmin’s right, he thought. “Thank you..”, he said, but when he turned to look at Seungmin, he saw his friend was already fast asleep.

He smiled. 

Everything will be okay, He thought, and finally let his eyes close.

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A/N: because it’s a bit long, I decided to write this at the end 😅😅

I wanted to say I’m really sorry for taking so long to write this chapter. I was so busy with university stuff at first, and then I had so many things to do djsbsidjsi but now I’m backkk 🥰🥰 and I’m so glad I could finally post this!!

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! From this one forward, it has nothing to do with my grandparents’ story, as they got married pretty fast so… 🙈

Big thanks to anyone who actually reads the series, I love you all so much, it really makes me feel so warm and happy ♥️♥️

Have a good day/night! :))

P. S. I thought of maybe making the next chapter more angsty? soooo yeah haha stay tuned!!

#stray kids #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids au #bang chan #lee know #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #felix lee #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #bang chan fluff #bang chan angst #felix brother au #felix twin au #how i met your grandfather

[byul-bit-arae]

BOYFRIEND CHAN!

Okay I know I say in this in every single bf post of mine but liSTEN.

Boyfriend chan,

Is all you could ask for.

First of all,

This guy knows how to make you fall head over heels for him

Even if he's not actually aware of it

Every single thing he does -most of the time unintendedly- would leave you with big, big heart eyes

Lucky for him he doesn't really have to try too much and you're under his spell

But also he's a lil humble bitch that doesn't know how much of an amazing person he is so he wouldn't actually KNOW he's already got an effect on you

And like whenever he talks to you and you're flustered or you blush he just assumes? that you're that kind of person?

You know, that person who stutters and becomes a mess in the presence of one single human being and acts totally normal around the others? Yeah definitely not fishy

He's not dense, he just doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable

And also doesn't want to get his hopes up

Although everyone around you is just waiting for y'all to announce something

Like?? You're almost always together?? And you're so close??

But even you didn't want to get your hope up bc hello? He's the most amazing human on earth and he's just being nice and you're probably getting the wrong idea?

Anyways it all probably happens one day at like 4am

And basically both of y'all are just sick of pretending and denying what's so obvious and decide to spill the tea

I am not suggesting a specific scenario for this because I thought of way too many that I just gave up and also I'll let y'all just assume wtv you think would be right

ANYWAYS

BOYFRIEND CHRIS

where do I even start

First of all, very, and I cannot stress this enough, very considerate

This boy wouldn't initiate anything unless he knows you're comfortable with it

But once he knows, you better brace yourself for this koala

He looooves hugs, cuddles and any sort of affection

Obviously if you're not comfortable with pda he won't do it but he's still gonna hold your hand bc wtf he needs love

Would probably be into cheesy shit like-- wait a minute let me rephrase that

Would TOTALLY be into cheesy shit

Like couple clothes and mugs

Would 200% give you his sweaters even if you don't ask like he'd just pretend he forgot them at your place or smtn

Also would 200% lose it if he sees you in his sweaters without a warning

Boi needs his countdown his heart is not ready

Would still die anyway

Y'all know how chan doesn't really show when he's going through stuff? Like he's always this goofy smiley ball of optimism

And he's literally always there whenever you're having a bad day or need someone and really all the time

But when you show up at his studio in the middle of the night with food or tell him how proud you are of how much he's achieved or just cuddle him and treat him like a precious baby? He'll appreciate it to no end

bc he works so hard and is so selfless that he puts everyone, including you obviously, before himself

that's why I think he needs a s/o who's really affectionate and is ready to always show him love and take care of him

A very chill bf

You could tell him you want to make cookies at two in the morning and he'd be like sure babe like he's so supportive of whatever you do

Would call you by your name/nickname, baby, princess, angel, darling

Depends on the situation and the place

If you're with the guys he'd call you by your name, although he wouldn't mind if a "baby" accidentally slips

But he will have to suffer if it's another one #thekidsareonthelookout

Would love and cherish every time he gets to stay home with you and just cuddle

Since he's always busy

And although most of the time he's a big spoon and likes to feel like he's taking care of you and how you look smol in his arms

Even if you don't, he still thinks you're his smol baby

He would love it as much if he's tired and you let him rest on your lap or chest or just sleep as you play with his fluffy hair

Chan is a very passionate person himself so I think he'd fall for someone who also is passionate about something and works hard on it

Like he'd admire that so much and would be so down to listen to you rambling about your major/ what you love doing

even if you think you're sounding like a total nerd, he'd think you're the cutest thing and listen to you attentively

But there are also times where you won't even be needing words to communicate

Like you'd just stare at each other with the dumbest smiles for a ridiculously long time that it almost becomes a staring contest

Until one of you feels awkward and buries their head into the others chest

Like it wouldn't even be something romantic or anything

Like you'd throw a sassy remark at him and he'd look at you like tf dude did you really say that and you'd look back at him like yes I did until you just break into laughter

But sometimes he says something v cheesy and you try to do the same to him

But then you give up bc he's just so cute staring at you so seriously after saying that, that you can't help but feel flustered and look away

BUT CHRIS TEASING ASS IS NOT GONNA LET IT END THERE KSHDKJDS I HATE HIM

He's gonna make you look at him again and watch you become a mess :')

The way he just flips between babie channie mode and highschool jock chris mode is scary

Also I KNOW this sounds very cringey (again, I said chan would be into cheesy shit) and I myself think this is SO CRINGEY WHEN I READ IT AND CANT PICTURE IT AT ALL BUT LISTEN

CHAN IS THE KIND OF GUY TO SMILE INTO A KISS THERE I SAID IT

Like you'd usually exchange short pecks filled with nervous giggles in between

CUTE

Sometimes you would be standing in front of him or smtn and he just suddenly pulls you into his lap and peppers you face in kisses as you struggle to break free from this affectionate koala (yknow just like how he jumps on the boys from nowhere and hugs them to death? Exactly)

Other times he would be more calm about it like you'd be working on something and he just waddles to you like a penguin and stands there with his :] face until you give him attention

Or if you're working while standing he'd just attach himself to you like you're a fucking tree and just stand there and make it so hard for you to move while you do what you're doing until you just turn around and give him attention

"chan are you just gonna keep hugging me as I move around the kitchen at snail speed" you say amusedly as you're too familiar with the scenario and he just hums

"You know this isn't comfortable for neither of us so why don't you sit down as I finish cooking?"

"Channie is comfortable like this" he'd say back stubbornly and you just sigh

"Sure sweetie whatever makes you happy"

#stray kids #bang chan #chris bang #boyfriend bang chan #bang chan fluff #bang chan headcanon #bang chan imagines #bang chan reactions #bang chan scenarios #bang chan texts #bang chan blurbs #bang chan drabbles #stray kids fluff #stray kids headcanons #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids texts #stray kids blurbs #stray kids drabbles

[majormeilani]

i.,.. i just had one of the most horrifying nightmares i've ever had in a long time ?

i'm gonna content warn this one a little the fact that it's somewhat graphic but i can't really describe exactly how ? it's kinda like in the dream there was attempted violent physical assault and threats of death ??? i don't know how else to preface it so ig read at your own risk. but it scared the hell outta me.

so this nightmare i had placed the setting in my previous household and it was near the early waking hours and i was lying in my bed. and i was in that weird phase of sleep where you are kind of awake but not awake enough to want to open your eyes. and for some reason in the dream i felt like i couldn't move in my dream like i was stuck in place but not restrained but i felt like i was paralyzed almost.

then there's this dim kinda glow from the hallway and i am able to glance at my phone for the time, which glows but it's also strange bc it's like my phone doesn't illuminate the room it just is glowing, almost like the light isn't even there or like the glow of one those glow-in-the-dark star stickers. but the time says that it was 4am at that moment and then i hear breathing sounds and for some reason i shut my eyes.

then i hear a girl's voice close to my ear like she's right next to me and she whispers the strangest thing. she says "the following content may contain scenes of hair pulling, eye gouging, very strong tearing and gripping of clothing and the possibility of death," and suddenly i feel someone grab me and my hair and start pulling on my arm and the sheets of my bed really really hard, forcing me to move closer to the edge of the bed. but for some reason im able to pull away slightly and shrink into myself to get away but that's the most i can do in escaping. but i then turn to the voice in the darkness and ask "who are you? who are you?" and i grab my phone and try to use the light of the screen to illuminate the figure but it's still that strange dull beam of light instead of functioning properly. but i see a shadowy hand fall and disappear as i do this and am now propped up on my side on one arm and holding up the phone with my opposite hand.

from the hall i notice the bathroom light flick on and off quickly before i'm again surrounded in the darkness of the night as well as overwhelming silence.

it sounds like the part where this weird figure was threatening me was like one of those people who when they make a video they put content warnings at the beginning or something, as if this shadowy figure was trying to maybe even record what they were doing and post it somewhere.

but even still, it seemed i had the same consecutive dream one after the other in the same night. and it's strange because the first one seemed like it was months ago but then the other one was minutes ago? where it took place in a similar location with similar circumstances except this time a man's voice with a southern accent threatened to do the same as before but this time with the added threat of "slowly tearing my throat out" and telling me that "i will probably die" i also felt it tug on my hair and the sheets of the bed in one stronger grasp as well as the feeling of pressure on my neck that grew stronger before i felt both feelings disappeared and i managed to again ask "who are you? who are you?" to get no response but still feeling like the pressure never left my throat.

in the dream i'd asked my sister of it and she said she thought it sounded like a girl she knew. and later i heard someone in a video say casually to their friend it was a similar dream they had but laughing it off.

i'm not sure what to make of it now or what it means but all i know is it was really horrifying. i needed to type this out to help myself calm down bc it scared the hell outta me.

#my dreams

[pauleonotis]

These last 2-3 days really reminded me of an old Drarry Au that I had so after searching for my old notes I revised them and thought I‘d share it.

(Trans!Harry, Trans!Draco; Warning: There’s mention of some transphobic behavior)

When Harry was sitting for the first time in the train on his way to Hogwarts Ron joined him

»Hi. I‘m Ron Weasley,« he said and Harry smiled »I‘m Harry Potter.«

Ron looked at him confused and hesistantly asked if he has heard his name right. Harry just nodded.

His new found friend asked him a couple of questions and they talked about what Ron had heard about him, or at least what he had heard about ’her’

Harry answered everything and then started to explain about him still being a boy even though he was born with female body parts

And for the first time ever he didn’t get a snarky remark like “it‘s just a phase“ or “but your biological gender is and will always be female“ (which btw was still not true, while he had a vagina his biological gender still is male. He was born with a male brain. So even as little child it already felt wrong being called a girl. Everyone out there might only see his female body but Harry simply knew better even without understanding it back then.)

»Is it true?« came a voice from outside their compartment. Draco was standing there. »They‘re saying all down the train that Hailey Potter‘s in this compartment. So it’s you, is it? I‘m Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.«

Harry looked at Draco but before he could say anything it was Ron who spoke up »It‘s Harry Potter.«

Draco sniggered and looked at Ron sneering »I don’t need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford,« he told him and continued »it also seems like your family can’t afford medical bills. You might want to check your hearing.«

Draco now turned to Harry »You‘ll soon find out some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don’t want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.« He held out his hand.

»I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks,« Harry replies coolly. »And just so you know, Ron was right. It is Harry Potter. I identify as male.«

For a moment Harry could swear he saw something apologetic in Draco’s glance. But then it turned sour. He stormed off flushing angrily.

It took quite some time until everyone referred to him as Harry Potter and until he was known as the boy who lived. But in Hogwarts no one seemed to mind, it was the complete opposite reaction of what he has experienced in the muggle world and he loved it. He finally felt accepted, his mind was at peace and he didn’t hear anyone talking about him badly or made him feel like he doesn’t belong. Here he was just an ordinary student at Hogwarts. Even Draco Malfoy didn’t say anything bad about him being transgender. Tho he did insult him or his friends and played some unfair and mean pranks, that’s how he became Harry‘s school nemesis.

After the war Harry came back to finish his education.

During the summer break he went to Poppy Pomfrey, who nursed him quite a lot over the years. She was the only medical witch he trusted so she was the one to do the sex reassignment (tho it wasn’t a sex reassignment per se, after all he was already a man.)

She also gave him potions for his voice to get deeper and to support his facial hair growth.

Surprisingly quite a lot students came back, even from Slytherin, including Draco.

So many that they still managed to form Quidditch teams of every house, which was the reason that McGonagall allowed the 8th year students to play matches too.

After the game Gryffindor vs. Slytherin they all went to change when Harry noticed Draco, sitting subtle on a bench and waiting for everyone to shower, dress up and leave.

It seemed like he didn’t notice Harry so when it got quiet he stood up and began undressing. Harry did the same while keeping an eye on Malfoy.

When he took off his shirt that’s when he noticed Draco was wearing something beneath it. And then he realized what exactly it was.

A chest binder.

»Are you done watching me, Potter? I‘d like to change without getting stared at. Preferably alone actually,« he snarled.

It took him a moment to progress everything. And that’s when Harry noticed the slight swaying in the sound of Dracos voice. He was using a spell for it.

»I never noticed,« admitted Harry »You could’ve went to Pomfrey, you know?« at that Draco huffed.

»Of course you didn’t. No one did, because it’s none of your business. If I would tell Pomfrey everyone would know sooner or later, I can’t risk that.«

»Why though? You saw how accepting everyone was- still is. Yeah you were a git but they wouldn’t say something about you being a trans man, because it wouldn’t change anything at all. For example you and your friends literally did hate me and still didn’t go for my most sensitive part.«

»I didn’t hate you, I was jealous,« Draco admitted, to both of their surprise

»If someone would find out they‘d tell my father. You don’t know how my parents are. Not every wizard and every witch is as accepting as you might think, Potter,« Draco spat

While everyone at Hogwarts already knew Draco was male (with Snapes help so that the teachers would call him by the right pronouns, he was the only one who knew and he took this secret to his grave), at home he didn’t dare to use any of his charms or to wear his clothes and his binder beneath.

At home he was forced to be Cassiopeia Malfoy. Being his parents‘ 'princess'. He hated it.

He envied Harry, who didn’t have his parents anymore so he doesn’t need to be afraid of not being accepted, kicked out or getting disowned.

Draco, even though his parents would only love him for being their little girl and not loving him the way he actually was, loved his parents dearly.

It breaks his heart while he has always been well-behaved and polite just the way his parents have raised him and while he‘d do everything for them out of love, they couldn’t accept him for who he truly was.

After all the only thing that would change was his name and his physical appearance somewhat.

It was then when Draco noticed his cheeks were wet. While thinking about his parents he must‘ve began to cry. And even worse, Harry was still there looking at him surprised. And he was about to say something.

»You would never understand,« Draco said dismissively while wiping always his tears and turned away. He now continued getting dressed.

»You‘re wrong. I do understand. Most likely better than anyone else ever would,« Harry replied and thought of his uncle Vernon and his aunt Petunia.

They already hated him for his magic. And while Harry actually didn’t mind wearing Dudleys old clothes, they always made fun of him. Being a girl and wearing too big and old boys clothes.

»It’s horrible. Being afraid of telling people who are close to you something that means so much to you,« Harry said and began walking towards Draco.

»People who are supposed to love and support you. No matter what because they’re family. It’s a relief to finally speak out loud about it. Being able to tell it the whole world. You shouldn’t have hide like that, Draco,« Harry continues.

»But for what price?! I could lose everything, Potter! The love and support of my parents, my home and safe place, all of my hopes and dreams—« Draco began but his breath hitched when Harry turned him around and held his shoulders.

»The love and support for a person that isn’t you? For what price? Well, Happiness. Yes there might be some people who can’t accept you the way you are but that’s just their limited thinking. What matters most is that you stay true to yourself. No matter what people say about you and no matter how much they try to talk you out of it or try to make you insecure by telling you they would know better. They don’t. It’s your life, your decisions, and your mind and body. Not theirs. They have nothing to say about your life and the way you want to live it. And if they can’t stay out of your business then let them waste their time by giving unnecessary remarks. Because you« Harry wiped away Dracos tears, apparently he has started to cry again but this time he didn’t care »are free to do whatever you want. It’s them who are not satisfied enough with their lives so they have to take it out on others somehow. Slap them in their face by showing them how beautiful it is to just express yourself the way you are. You’re independent and you certainly don’t need anyone’s approval for simply being yourself.«

—

(At the end of this post I‘d like to mention that I myself am not transgender. Everything I wrote especially regarding the thoughts and fears is what I remember a friend of mine told me or what I did read and/or researched online. I just added some little details that I thought of while I imagined what I would think or of what I would be afraid of and/or insecure about if I myself would be a female being born with male body parts or the other way around.

It‘s possible that I made some mistakes, so please believe me when I say that I do not want to offend anyone who was reading this nor do I want to share any false informations. Please tell me if you found something that I might have misunderstood and what I need to change to correct my mistake/s.

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Apart from that I also want to add that it‘s 4am [update: now almost 6- why am I like this?;-;] and I had to write this down otherwise I couldn’t sleep so I probably made mistakes in spelling and/or grammar. But I hope there aren’t too much so that it’s not distracting.)

#harry potter #draco malfoy #harry potter au #trans rights #trans harry potter #trans draco malfoy #mentions of ​transphobic behaviour #drarry #is this a ficlet? #idk #anyway #have a great day or night! #my art