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thedailyplatypics · 9 months

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TW//pretty violent descriptions of Doof’s traps and wondering how they might actually kill Perry/Death/Falling/Suffocation/Burning

Perry Could Have Died A Lot:

Doofenshmirtz’s Traps Becoming Tamer, The Evolution Of Perry And Doof’s Relationship, And The Expendability Of OWCA Agents.

In Season 1 and 2 many of the traps created by Doofenshmirtz aimed to KILL Perry, either unintentionally or intentionally, and sometimes in the worst, most horrifying ways imaginable.

It’s genuinely concerning how bad some early traps were and what exactly Doofenshmirtz was expecting when these traps succeeded? I usually like to imagine Perry as an invincible fighting machine, but what if he wasn’t invincible? What if some of these traps actually succeeded? And What happens to the other poor OWCA agents that aren’t as skilled when their nemesis has something cruel in store?

Showing the de-escalation of these traps also shows just how much their relationship evolved over the course of the show.

But before we get into that though, let’s quickly go over some of these traps and just how badly they would have turned out for poor Perry.

I’ll be rating them from 0-10 on how awful each death would have been (10 being the worst) based on how slow the death would be, how helpless he would be, how horrifying it would be, how painful it would be, what the treatment of the remains would be like, and how bad it still is for Perry even though he escaped to give a FULL look at just how messed up Doof’s traps were.

A very slow, lonely death by suffocation and a helpless situation. What would Doof even have done to clean this up? Would he just keep Perry in there forever??

8/10 worst way to die

A long and horrifying death from falling as he would have been completely helpless to do anything, but wait for the inevitable thud and darkness at the end. If he fell on a hard surface the only thing recognizable from him would be his hat. More like Perry the Splat-ypus (I’m sorry)

7/10 worst way to die

A lot to breakdown here: Dismemberment, decapitation, blown to shreds by a canon ball, and literally a murder s**c*de bombing by nuclear detonation wtf☠️??? And imagine the cleanup for half these things..

7/10 worst way to die

Death by being mauled, torn to shreds, and eaten by crocodiles all while Doofenshmirtz watched with a smile on his face is pretty sick. (This is the second time Doof’s tried to feed him to crocs/gators)

7/10 worst way to die

This was mostly unintentional, but death by either hypothermia or suffocation.

6/10 worst way to die

This trap placed under a rocket booster would have instantly incinerated them if it had succeeded. While not very painful compared the rest, it’s equally as scary. Imagine being there for one second and then poof. The only thing that is left of you is ashes.

If they took too long to escape the health affects from the toxic gasses released by rocket fuel such as, NO2, HNO3, hydrazines, and other substances would have been destructive towards their health.

5/10 worst way to die

One of Doof’s worst traps if it wasn’t so easy to escape. Try to imagine a laser cutting into you like this, cutting into one organ after the other, slow, searing hot, and also yes, extremely painful. If the pain didn’t kill Perry first through something like cardiac arrest, then multi-organ failure would have.

AND Literally what else was Doof expecting to come home to after the LOVE MUFFIN event??? NOT a dead platypus cut in half??!! What would he even have done with his body after that!??

10/10 worst way to die

This one is just the worst one. Based on the color of this lava, it’s around 1,600 F°!

If the rope didn’t burn through first he would have basically suffocated, seared his lungs to a crisp from the hot air, roasted alive slowly, and burst into flames (Anakin Skylwalkered) but if the rope broke he would probably feel (and not feel) the worst pain imaginable on earth for a good few seconds as all the water in his body would boil, nerves would desintegrate, every single organic molecule in his body would denature, and the lava would wrap around him like grease when you put bacon on a frying pan (that last part might just only apply to rocks though). The bones would burn for the longest, but soon there would be no trace of him left.

It should be noted that lava is a dense liquid and would feel pretty solid unlike water.

Even though he did escape this one, imagine the burns he got and seared lungs. Getting this close to molten lava typically sets people on fire and gives them serious burns. There’s also the toxic gases, heavy metals, and carcinogenic matter he inhaled. Additionally, this lava was bubbling and spraying everywhere. Once a drop of this molten rock like that hits your skin it burns your skin, burns your nerves, cools, and sticks on you. You wouldn’t feel it yet, but how did he hide that stuff when he came home to Phineas And Ferb? Burns can also lead to infections which could be serious and lead to removal of infected areas and amputation or even death,

While the long term health affects he suffered from this experience might not directly lead to his death in the future unless he does get a deadly infection, it could contribute significantly to things like future lung diseases and cancer. There’s also no doubt this experience (mostly from the hot air likely searing his lungs a bit) at least gives him breathing trouble now which would be incredibly depressing.

10/10 worst way to die

Perry didn’t deserve this.

Now, did Doofenshmirtz really have the intention to seriously injure or kill Perry or did he know he’d always escape and wreck his plans? I can’t say for sure, but he survived all of these and he’s also OWCA’s best agent. So, what happens to the lesser skilled agents….?

Perry’s Not The Only One (Tangent):

What percentage of OWCA agents have died in the field of battle with their nemesis and vice versa? We are shown that the one Canadian evil scientist almost died in MML: Agent Lentee Diogee and we know that Agent T (Turkey) was unfortunately killed on Thanksgiving (PNF: The Remains of A Platypus), whether he was mixed up in the turkey harvest process, it was actually because of a scheme unrelated to Thanksgiving, or because his Nemesis did in fact eat him is still unclear.

Also, does the government use animals in OWCA for secret missions because they have advantages humans don’t have or is it really because they’re actually more expendable compared to people. If you think about it, if a human dies because of U.S. government missions, everyone asks questions and there’s a lot of liability, but if a random pigeon or someone’s pet mysteriously goes missing, it’s not national news and no one’s asking the federal government what happened to it. An animal agent is not just a silly cartoon thing, it’s the perfect way to spy, and the US Government has literally tried and used animals as agents before (obviously those ones didn’t have human consciousness like in Phineas And Ferb though since it is a cartoon). They are very expendable and inexpensive.

Back To Doof And Perry:

When did Doof’s traps become more tame? Around the end of season 2 Doofenshmirtz sort of stopped the deadly traps that were designed to kill Perry and mostly focused on traps designed to restrain Perry instead. Sure they still have their laser fights and very dangerous situations and what not (like the Where’s Perry incident), but Doof and Perry are much closer friends now, and we know neither really want the other dead. As Dan Povenmire said, “they really are the most important person in each other’s lives.”

So, when did Doof stop/reduce the death traps? (I use reduce because I checked, but I’m not 100% certain the pnf wiki got every trap)

The last time I remember Doofenshmirtz actually fine with Perry dying was in the Across the 2nd Dimension Movie when he was perfectly okay with Perry being sent to his doom. However, at the end of the film seconds before the 2nd Dimension Doof is about to crush Perry, Phineas, and Ferb, Doofenshmirtz basically saves Perry’s life by stopping 2nd Dimension Doof at the last second and giving him his toy train. (Maybe a little because the horrifying thing 2D Doof did to his Perry too)

Of course he doesn’t remember this because of the Amnesia-inator applied to him and everyone else at the end of the movie, but as we know from the Giant Tire Swing episode when the kids start singing the Summer song from AT2D spontaneously, but cannot recall where it’s from, that memories are still somewhere in the subconscious of these characters.

So, I’d like to think that Doofenshmirtz’s desire to kill Perry sort of faded after actually seeing him come the closest to death he’d ever been in the entire series and while he doesn’t remember it, it’s still there subconsciously.

There’s More:

By the end of the series Doof really isn’t that evil anymore. He’s just a guy pretending to be evil. Perry and Doof are a lot more casual with each other and friendlier, but Doofenshmirtz in The Last Day Of Summer kinda sucks. It’s really the big, real, last push from his evil phase and it shows. He really sucked to both Vanessa and Perry.

In this episode a time looping machine gives Doofenshmirtz multiple tries to finally complete his scheme. In the looping he tries to perfect a trap that can restrain Perry and returns to the type of deadly traps from S1-2, but the mega-trap never overdoes itself and somehow only fails catch Perry, not kill him. Despite every deadly piece and Perry almost getting chopped in half by a bear trap, the mega-trap strangely doesn’t ever kill Perry. It only fails to catch Perry A LOT. This could just be luck and shows that Perry is truly invincible, but since this is later seasons we already know Doof doesn’t want to kill Perry anymore so is it that far off to say that he also didn’t just perfect this trap to not only restrain Perry, but also to not kill him and keep him alive? Does this mean sometimes he could have overdone the trap and there were failed tries to not kill him??

He probably considered that the day repeated so even if he overdid it and killed Perry, the day would restart anyways and he could tone down the part of the trap that killed him, but without the looping he knows the only way to stop Perry is to kill him.

This would be another reason for why he did what he did next.

In one of the final loops when he succeeds with his trap after an unknown amount of tries and finally becomes mayor. The time loop machine also disappears, so he thinks he can no longer loop time now which means no trap will ever be as affective as his time-loop trap and the only affective way to keep Perry from ruining his schemes as he now knows from the time loop, is to kill him. So he uses his new power to legally make it so that Perry can no longer fight him to avoid that entire problem and keep his power, and continue to be evil without hurting him.

It’s somewhat thoughtful that he still doesn’t want Perry dead which is consistent with his character development, but ultimately he chooses evil over his best and only friend and loses him.

Of course we know it works out when he turns good, and he mostly gives up evil after the finale.

This is just another angle to look from when it comes to their relationship.

I don’t know how to end this because that’s about all I’ve got and I have been completely sidetracked from my day to write this and I should probably get back to it. Hopefully this blog makes sense. Feel free to suggest corrections or mistakes or add on any details you’d like to point out.

#perry the platypus #doofenshmirtz #phineas and ferb #blog #essay #pnf #the last day of summer #across the 2nd dimension #Perry and Doof #agent p #Vanessa #owca #theories #headcannons #pnf headcanon

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satoshy12 · 4 months

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(had the idea after a post i saw, but not able to find it) Peter, a civilian, was already very late to his job as an intern in the Daily Bugle, but to his bad luck, a villain attacked the city. So out of mistake because of a sleep disorder, he knockout punched Dr. Doom while running already late to his work; he didn't even notice he did that to Dr. Doom as he was in his job and explained to JJ Jamson why he was late. The thing is, Peter didn't even notice he did that, and the Daily Bugle, like Jamson, didn't say anything; after all, he one punched Dr. Doom, and you kind of have to be crazy to take pictures of Spiderman.

- Peter's bad luck was that he somehow knocked out all his villains that way, as Peter Parker did. People started to think he would become a villain in the future. Harry has no idea what his friend is doing and is going crazy about it. What is he thinking? - Dr. Doom hates Peter the photograph(hear Dr. Doof Perry voice) just as much as Squirrel Girl! - Yes, Doreen had the fun of doing the same as Peter, as she joined him in the Daily Bugle. Jamson was totally okay with that girl joining; she helps Peter stay out of trouble, and both are making nice pictures! - Poor Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius was asked by his wife Rosalie Octavius to make sure that Peter doesn't do valiant work. That somehow saved him from being turned into a villain. Making sure Peter doesn't go villain.

Over time, it became the idea of a Villian Ogin story in New York.

The Cilvilian who did go vile because he did go late to work and lost his job.

The irony was Squirrel Girl's is the non-mutant or only mutant liked in New York.

Outsider:" That is a mutant!" New Yorker:" Just because her hair color doesn't mean she's a mutant!" Outsider:" I mean her squirrel tail!" New Yorker:" She just likes to cosplay."Leave her alone."

#Marvel #peter parker #J.J. Jamson #New York #Squirrel Girl #Squirrel Girl's is the non-mutant or only mutant liked in New York #Harry Osborne #Spider-man #Dr Doom #Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius #Rosalie Octavius #Daily Bugle #intern Peter #Peter Parker the photograph

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frostwing213 · 7 days

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Sick, so I'm binge-watching Phineas and Ferb.

There's so many tiny hilarious moments!

Jermey is SO sweet! He just loves Candace for who she is, and (I'm on Season 3) when she goes to bust her brothers, he just says "That's my girl" and I love him for that. He's amazing

Lol, Ferb's avarage of one line per episode.

I have the title sequence song memorized

Perrysmirtz, ok? I'm not crazy, it just makes sense. Ecpeccily if you imagine him as a human

Candace is activly trying to stop busting and is failing

I tottaly forgot that Doof and Majior Monogram actually talk to eachother

Linda and Lawrance are so cute together

It's SO funny how Linda NEVER sees anything, or she forgets when she does

I just relate to Candace, I love her so much. We're the same age, and while she's annoyed by her brothers, she also loves them SO much, which is accurate

Doof and Vannessa's realtionship is so sweet! He cares so much! He's being a much better parent than his own (Speaking of his own, his backstory is actually really tramatic.)

Vannessa also gets along with Perry soooo well, it's funny

Doof's intro music, LOL

"You know what I like about our friends? We say things like, 'we're gonna douse you in ant pheromones' and they're just like, 'OK, whatever' They're so cool" -Phineas. Yes, yes they are. And they're used to it becase you do this sort of thing all the time

Candace is slowly giving up on busting her brothers

Suzie is so evil

Phineas always wanting to invent, lol (And Ferb)

There's never anything there

POOR DOOF! Omg, this is BAD. His backstory is so sad!! (On episode 35, season 3, "This is your backstory part 1 and 2") He's tramatized, and sad, really sad.

I love this show. Slowly adding more as I watch

#perryshmirtz #phineas and ferb #I love this show #perry the platypus #phineas flynn #ferb fletcher #candace flynn #heinz doofenshmirtz

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gnpwdrnwhiskey · 4 months

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Pairing - Jack Daniels x ofc!SunDrop

Word Count - 580-ish?

Warnings - none that I am aware of, just lots of fluff and one small surprise

Author's Note - I had wanted to write Christmas stories for all of my characters this year, but so far these are the only two that have cooperated, lol! Unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own.

"Hey honey, can you meet me at my parents after work please? And bring Georgia. Love you!"

Jack plays the voice message a third time, Georgia's head tilting from side to side everytime she hears her name.

But Jack is better trained than his canine companion and he's listening to the nuance in her voice. She's too perky. Which means she's up to something.

"Damnit, Sunny," he mutters as he fires up the Bronco. He just wants to go home, get out of this uniform, have a beer, and kick his feet up. "Let's go see what fresh hell this is, Georgie girl."

Sunny's sitting on her parents front steps when he pulls up, decked out in festive flannel Christmas pajamas complete with rows of snowmen and reindeer and he has a sinking feeling he knows what's going on here, is actually tempted to just let Georgia out and keep driving but he values his life so he takes a deep breath and gets out of the truck, Georgia bounding ahead of him.

"Hey, cowboy," she smiles up at him, petting Georgia with one hand and holding out a beer he gladly accepts with the other. "Fancy meeting you here."

"You know your wish is my command, sweetheart," he grins, sitting down next to her and leaning over to steal a kiss that Sunny, like always, melts right into making him reluctant to pull away. "Let me guess, there's holiday themed getups like this for me and Georgia inside too?"

"I'm so glad you're smart and pretty, Jack Daniels," Sunny laughs, scooting closer to him on the steps so she can rest her head on his shoulder and lace her arm through his. "I tried to make yours as un-festive and boring as possible, just some plaid pants and a henley. You can even keep your boots on, Mr. Grinch. Poor Georgia has to wear antlers. At least you don't have to suffer that indignity."

"And Bagel?"

"He's in the house making it everyone's problem that he's currently wearing a Christmas sweater."

"So what's the plan here, sugar?"

"Well, on the surface we're humoring Maddie and doing family Christmas photos."

"And below the surface?" Jack asks with the arch of an eyebrow.

"When it's time for Maddie and Ty's solo photos with Roxie Doxie, he's proposing. And we all get to act surprised and ohh and aah over them. And then have dinner. Pretty sure my mom made chili."

"Kid's really trying to show me up, huh?"

"By proposing?" Sunny snorts. "We're already married, you doof. Or did you forget that little adventure to Gatlinburg already?"

"No, Mrs. Daniels," Jack laughs softly, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "I certainly have not, but they don't know that."

"We'll tell them. One day," Sunny shrugs. "Let Maddie have the spotlight today."

"And what's in it for me, going along with this charade?"

"Besides homemade chili and cornbread?"

"As much as I love your mom's chili, I think I need a little more incentive."

"Okay, cowboy," Sunny says, sitting up and turning slightly to face him, toying with the top button on her pajama top. "For being a good sport, I'll let you take me home and unwrap me. I'm even more festive underneath."

"Oh, really now?" Jack hooks a finger in the vee of her shirt, trying to sneak a peek and Sunny laughs and bats his hands away. "Alright, SunnyD, I think you got yourself a deal."

#jack daniels fanfiction #agent jack whiskey daniels #jack daniels x ofc #jack daniels x ofc!SunDrop #doin life with me series #jack & sunny

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stevenbasic · 3 months

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Growing into the Job, Post 377: The Beginnings of Empire

“Do we have to watch the news?” Julia asked, pouring a half-refill into Josie’s red solo cup, which she’d balanced on her what-could-almost-be-called prodigious chest. Fed by each of Dr. J's little expulsions at Missy’s hand, it was becoming quite the nice cup holder.

Josie Jensen liked these kind of nights. Even if it was a Tuesday, even if they needed to work the next day, even if they weren’t out partying. Being together, with the girls, just felt right. The group of them - Randi, Amelia and Julia, and her new friend Lakshmi - had been at the Tipsy Taco earlier this evening. The 'Missy' effect or what some of the girls were calling the 'Blissy' effect or simply ‘the Bliss’, had come during their first round of drinks. Missy and Dr. J were obviously having fun together somewhere and it was making the buttons nearly pop on all their tops. Nice way to start the evening! Now completely full, they were vegged-out, gorged to the gills on hamburgers at Josie’s place. Lounging around, watching TV. Amelia was doing Lakshmi’s nails. Julia had made them some more margaritas. Josie felt bloated and chubby and somewhat regretting her little binge.

All of them sorta missed Melissa and - what the fuck, why could they feel it in their bones like this? - Dr. J. The dude was a nerd but nnnngh, maybe they’d get some more Bliss off him in a bit. Odds were good, since they could all still feel that Missy and J were still together.

“There’s a new episode of ‘Stinkers!…we should watch that,” Julia suggested.

“Oooo our patient is in that, right?” called Lakshmi.

“Yah,” answered Randi, voice extra-smoky tonight. She’d been showing off her new skills of getting big shit into her mouth at the bar, freaking out some guys. Her hand, one of their hands. A pint glass. It was quite the trick. “Adrienne’s like, taking over that house with those new tits of hers.”

“She’s getting so pretty,” someone commented.

“Dude, no, this is important,” Josie replied, raptly watching CNN over the rim of her margarita and trying not to let its plastic straw poke up into her right nostril.

Her mom had started back to work recently, at first a marketing consultant for a bunch of 'New Woman' campaigns, and now she was transitioning to more permanent positions on staff with a few of the recently-elected women headed to Washington. So, Josie had picked up the politics bug over the past few months; it was really fascinating. The world was changing so fast, and it got her excited.

“I’m taping ‘Stinkers!’ anyway, we can watch that after this,” Josie allowed.

It was a cool reality show, but she really wanted to see what was happening in East Makata.

“What’s the U.N.’s reaction to this going to be?” came the anchor’s question to their guest, a sweaty doof with a comb-over.

It had just been reported earlier today. Some company had taken over a small country. Listening to the anchor-lady behind the news desk, and the guy she was interviewing tell it, it sounded like something between a coup d’etat and a purchase. It hadn’t really made big headlines, but Josie had seen it and there was something about the story that gripped her.

“Where’s Makata anyways?” Julia, the shapely redhead among them asked. She emptied the last of her pitcher into Amelia’s empty cup.

“East Makata,” Josie corrected.

“It is in Central Africa,” Lakshmi offered, nodding at the map on the big screen over her shoulder.

“Kind of near Wakanda?” Julia posited.

“Wakanda’s fake,” Amelia retorted, “East Makata’s not. You’d know that if you ever paid attention in Geography.”

“I never heard of it,” Julia shrugged, walking away back towards the kitchen ostensibly to make another pitcher.

Josie rolled her eyes. She guessed the similarities were there: tiny African nation, pretty isolated, landlocked. Removed from lots going on in the larger world. But, unlike Wakanda, East Makata was poor as fuck and beset by constant violence and the machinations of warlords. This big corporation, it was kind of ambiguous which one still, though this guy had his theories, had come in and bankrolled their way into power. How they were going to run it was still unclear.

“Isn’t the company this guy’s talking about the same one that we think kinda owns Evolution?” asked Randi.

“The Russian thing?”

“I did not think the Collective was in the business of politics,” Lakshmi offered.

“I guess they are now,” drawled Amelia. She was starting with a clear coat of polish on Kiki’s left hand. “All hail The Great Mother, right?”

Amelia’s comment made Josie tingle, and her hair wiggled on the sofa pillow beside her. If it was KOLECTV, and the Eastern European conglomerate was everything she’d heard, this was super-cool news, thrilling. East Makata, an actual nation, was now in the hands of women. Not just governed - that was happening everywhere, around the world - but owned. Women controlled it completely. They could do anything.

“They’re a small nation, yes, but I’ve been watching this unfold for a while now,” came the guy’s onscreen voice as he defended his positions, “and my investigations have shown that this ‘Collective’ and its network of subsidiaries has been purchasing up land in the surrounding countries as well. And doing similar things worldwide. The U.N., or someone, really has to step in.” The guy had begun to drone. “It’s the responsibility of the larger world to-“

The girls all watched, but attention had started to wane.

“This guy sounds like a tool.”

“He’s definitely mansplaining.”

That should be a federal offense, Josie mused to herself, maybe it will be someday. She pulled the red solo cup from out of her top, took one long drag of a sip, and put it aside.

“Who is this reporter guy anyway?” asked Randi, “Some author?”

“I dunno,” Amelia said dryly, “I’m sure he’ll disappear soon.”

"Yeah.. "

“Hey, wanna put on ‘Stinkers!’?”

“Sure.”

…

“...I miss Dr. J,” someone said.

“Me too,” Josie answered, pulling her phone from out her top.

“Yeah I could really use some cock right now,” Randi chuckled, stretching her jaw and bringing giggles from others.

Josie opened up her phone, raised it above herself to take a picture.

“Let’s send him a kiss…”

===========================

big thanks to RiF for some above-and-beyond editing, and my usual team of ninja assassins for guidance

#growing into the job

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bcolfanfic · 29 days

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Love your young vets au

I’d love your thoughts on how they settle into their daily routine as a new couple once they’re discharged and home; introducing each other to their families as husbands, finding a place together, Bucky wanting to take Buck on a first official date (when they realise they haven’t actually done that yet), figuring out how to live a life together outside of the routine of the army and adjusting to that 💜 basically the sweet coupley stuff they experience alongside managing poor Bucky’s PTSD

ahhh yes yes! first off bc i feel like everyone that writes post war stuff kinda spins the wheel on where they send the boys- my plopping them in sheridan came from that being where real buck cleven was living by the end of his life. in au land i’ve decided that’s where his sister lives too and some other people he knew before he enlisted.

i think they stop and see bucky's family is wisconsin before they go to wyoming. so they dont technically have their marriage on paper yet, but bucky tells his family they're planning on doing it when they're home and introduces gale as his husband anyways. still formulating all my thoughts on bucky's family- but i think at least his mom just adores gale. she knows bucky can be quite the loose canon and worries about him- so when bucky wrote about him it did her heart good to know he had someone watching out for him. and in person it just multiples because she sees the way gale looks at him, puts his hand on his back, checks in with him etc etc. knows her baby is in good hands <3

gale’s sister wants to beat his ass for the whole ‘we got a marriage license the literal second we got home, we’ll have a wedding eventually buttt’ thing LOL. loves her brother, thinks bucky is perfectly nice (and already knew about him from calls/letters etc) but she’s just a girl. her brother getting married without telling her even if just on paper is a mortal sin /j. his mama feels the same way a little- though with less baby sister theatrics. bucky is a sweet boy. they can’t stay mad that long. in my mind he's no contact with his dad...though it would be interesting to think about him finding out via word of mouth and there being some drama there.

in my head they maybe stay with his sister while they’re looking for a house? this is before bucky’s ptsd gets really bad so there’s no Incidents or anything and she’s happy to have them there. thinks bucky is cute- who wouldn’t!

this is the house they end up in my mind- at least the first one pre: josie. though i think they maybe do some renos and rip out the shower to put a tub in. it’s small- but it’s just very Them. cozy and homey.

they're such sweetie pie doofs on their first real date. bucky realllllyyy leans into the 'first date' thing because he likes that it makes gale get all red. makes him wait inside while he gets his car and drives in a circle around the block to come 'pick him up'...who is bucky really if he is not his theatrics y'know? but they're so sweet getting all dressed up and having a nice dinner together. (bucky ribs him later- later- about how he didn't seem like the type to put out on the first date)

before bucky's shit really hits the fan he truly is just so happy to be home with his gale. gale falls asleep first most nights and he loves just watching him sleep, stroking his face, lightly scratching his hair. and same vs verse with gale normally being the first one awake. watching bucky sleeping in the morning light of their bedroom makes his heart so content. that's his darling boy (,:

#young vets au

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last-herondale · 1 year

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Do Not Go Far From Me

Loki x FemReader

Angst, fluff, two idiots pining, implied spice.

A/N: The reader decides to quit the Avengers and move into their own apartment. Loki finds out on a returning trip to Earth, and is not happy.

Maybe a multi-part piece?

And yes I got the idea from a critical role quote. 🥸

Enjoy 🤘🏼

It was getting late, and yet the bustling sounds of New York City still crept its way into your new studio apartment. You thought you had adjusted to the city life, but as you laid there in your bed— eyes staring blankly at the rotating fan, unable to sleep— you realized that that was indeed not true. The compound had definitely been quieter— whenever it wasn’t under attack, but it was hard to call that place home, even after years of service.

There was a knock at the door. You snapped up in bed, abandoning any hope for sleep as you listened for another knock. Sometimes pizza delivery drivers would mistake your apartment for the floor right above yours, more often than you’d care to admit. Usually, after the first attempt they realized their mistake and be on their way.

Maybe I should make a sign, you thought.

You were about to lay back down when there was another quick succession of raps against the door. Your curiosity was now peaked, and you quickly threw on a pair of pajama bottoms before looking through the peep hole. Your heart lurched in your chest at the sight of him. You considered not opening the door, but he could feel your presence already.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” Loki’s cool voice said from behind the door.

You gave an irritated sigh and unlocked your door, swinging it wide open. Loki stood there, with an amused smirk on his face. He was wearing his usual Midgard attire, an all black suit, prim and proper as always, making you feel silly in your oversized sleep shirt and pj bottoms. He held something in his arm and you arched your brows at him.

“What is that?”

Loki hesitated a moment before handing you a small potted cactus plant. “I’ve been told it’s a warm house gift. Something to give to someone when they have recently changed their living quarters.”

You took the cactus, careful to not prick your fingers with the sharp spines. You gave him a small smile. “It’s a house warming gift, you big doof.”

Loki just shrugged. “I don’t see how this would warm your house, unless you set the thing on fire—“

“How did you find me?” You interjected. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have minded his banter, but things between you weren’t normal anymore. You hadn’t seen Loki in months, and you certainly never told him of your plans on quitting the team. You never liked goodbyes, and so you let Loki be one of the few people you saved yourself from that kind of heartbreak.

Loki rocked on the back of his heels, making an impatient noise as he rolled his eyes. “You’re not a very hard person to find, y/n. It seems one of Earth’s mightiest heroes cannot simply just disappear, even when they move to the slums of —”

You began to shut the door, huffing a breath as you did, but his hand shot out and caught the door. The two of you fought for dominance with the door. You conceited only because you feared the poor door would shatter into splinters, then you would never get your deposit back.

“Okay, okay.” He finally surrendered, sensing your irritation. “Natasha told me where to find you.”

“Why?” You challenged. You put a hand on your hip, not willing to move from the door until he answered. His eyes raked over you once, making you feel oddly exposed. Still, you stood your ground.

“Oh for Odin’s sake,” he exasperated. Loki used his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. “I just— wanted to talk to you.”

You eyed him skeptically, not sure if you should believe him. You had wondered when the Avengers would try to drag you back into the chaotic mess that was hero work. You figured they’d at least send Roger’s star spangled ass to come recruit you back on the team, not the God of Mischief. Loki didn’t break eye contact with you, meeting your challenging eyes with icy blue defiance. You wanted to smirk. It was fun watching him squirm.

“Fine,” you shrugged. You threw the door open again, this time turning your back on Loki as you went back inside. You heard him follow you in, and he even took the time to shut and lock the door behind him. You placed the small cactus on your coffee table and sat on your single futon couch. Your apartment was still pretty bare since moving in.

Loki scanned the room. You felt yourself stiffen as he gazed over your new home. You hadn’t had the time to tidy for entertaining guests. Your bed was a mess of sheets from your fitful nights, not to mention the unpacked boxes that littered your space. You expected Loki to have a sly remark in place, but instead he leaned up against the wall by the front door and looked at you.

“I was gone for a few months,” Loki began, his voice oddly stern, “and when I return, I find your room empty. I thought perhaps something horrible had happened—“ he cleared his throat quickly. “But instead I was informed that you “quit” as Natasha had put it.”

“Didn’t realized you cared so much, Mr. Mischief,” you muttered. Loki hated when you called him that, and even now you saw his chiseled jaw clench in frustration. He pushed himself off of the wall and came dangerously close to you, towering over you on your couch. You glared daggers at him, unwavering as he sat on your coffee table making sure to be right in front of you. Part of you wished he had sat on the cactus.

“I did not come here in a joking mood,” he hissed. “I want to know why you left. I want to know what idiotic idea went through your head to make you think that choosing this-“ he motioned to your apartment with his hand, “was the better option?”

His stern voice sent chills down your spine. His eyes searched yours wildly, waiting for you to answer him. Part of you wanted to curse at him for talking to you like that. The two of you had gotten into screaming matches before, but tonight you couldn’t summon the energy to meet his demanding presence. You leaned back into your couch, crossing your arms and sighing.

“I left because— I couldn’t do it anymore.”

You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your arms and head. You fought back the tears that were gathering in your eyes, digging your nails into your elbows to make them dissipate. You felt Loki’s eyes on you but you refused to look at him. One soft look from him and you knew you would fall apart.

“I hated being a weapon. A soldier— being called in to fight battle after battle, risking everything to save a world that has never given a damn about me.” Your voice shook as you spoke. You weren’t this honest with the rest of the team. You had told them you missed living a simple life, missed the freedom that came with civilian life. But it wasn’t completely honest. “I hated the self righteous indignation. The hypocrisy— the secrecy and lies. Avenger. I hated who I was under that label.”

“I grew bitter.” You whispered. “I feared that if I stayed at the compound— if I stayed an Avenger, that I would end up becoming something I would regret.” It had been a fight, a long tiresome fight with Steve and Tony over your departure. Steve had said you had a duty to the world, that without you the avengers would not be the same. Tony, on the other hand, was adamant that your powers were an asset to the team, and he feared what you would do with them on your own. At least he was honest.

“Was I wrong?” You finally looked up at him. His expression was unbelievably soft. He gave you a small grin as he looked down at his interlaced hands.

“I don’t believe so,” he said softly. “Bitterness is a dangerous bedfellow, y/n, I cannot fault you for your choice to leave.”

“I feel like there’s a but coming,” you mused. Loki’s smile wavered, his expression turning melancholy as he met your gaze. “I suppose— I just wish—“ he stumbled over his words. It was unlike him to be so unsure of himself.

He sighed and extended his hand, cautiously taking your hand in his. Your body stiffened at the touch, his cool skin sent a strange heat through your body. His thumb traced over your fingers. “Was all of it unpleasant?” He asked.

Your breath hitched in your chest. “No.” You whispered immediately. You leaned forward, not wanting to shy away from this moment. You took both of his hands in yours, sliding your hands up until you were holding his wrists.

“For every reason i told myself to leave, it wasn’t nearly as strong as the one thing that reminded me of why I didn’t want to leave.” The words felt right as you said them. You held Loki in your hands, using his presence to give you the strength to continue. “Whenever you were there, in those rare moments that you and Thor graced our presence, the compound felt a little lighter. I actually enjoyed when you would come and cause a little chaos in my life,” you gave a small laugh. Loki gave a light chuckle, his blue eyes sparkled a bit as he looked at you.

Whenever Loki made a return visit to Earth, he would always drag you away from your duties to have fun. Your fondest memories came from your midnight excursions with Loki, bar hopping, drunken karaoke nights, and a few secret nights under the stars of Manhattan. He made your time there bearable, but it always came to an end.

“But you weren’t always there,” you murmured. You slowly pulled your hands away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I found myself waiting around, wondering when you would return to pull me out of my thoughts. Then after a while, I decided I needed to pull myself out. I needed something— anything to feel like myself again.”

“Y/n…” Loki began. His voice was thick and deep. Your name sounded delicious on his mouth. You knew you would fall apart. He was the only person who could make you shatter with his words. You couldn’t back down now. You straightened your shoulders, lifting your chin in false pride.

“It’s fine Loki. It’s not your responsibility— I’m not your responsibility. We don’t owe each other anything and it was stupid of me to think— Anyway… I know it isn’t much, but this place is mine, and mine alone. It will hold me long enough for me to figure out what comes next. Believe me, I don’t plan on staying in New York City for long—there are too many memories that haunt me here.”

“And so you plan on disappearing again?” His words turned sour. “Where will you run to next, I wonder? Some dump worse off than this squabble?” You shot up from your seat, Loki followed your motion. The two of you were inches apart, his face looking down in you as you jabbed a finger into his chest.

“Where I go is none of your concern!” You growled. “Isn’t it?” He countered, moving closer. You could feel the heat of his breath hit your face, the smell of him was intoxicating. “No it isn’t,” you hissed. “You have your freedom. You come and go whenever and wherever you please. I think I deserve the chance to do the same.”

He took a step forward, causing you to back into the edge of your couch, threatening to trip you up. You glared at the god, waiting for him to say something, anything, but instead his chest just rose and fell, as if he was keeping himself from losing control.

“I think you should leave.” You said bitterly. Whatever it was he wanted to say, he could say as he walked out of the door. “Go back to the compound, to Asgard, I don’t give a shit. Just leave my apartment.”

You side stepped him, not waiting for him to respond as you reached your hand out to open the door. It was as if an invisible hand pulled the back of your shirt, dragging you backwards in a quick, fluid motion. The force spun you around and before you could curse at him, Loki’s hands were gripping your shoulders.

“Do you think I enjoyed leaving you?” He hissed between his teeth. “As if I could want to be anywhere where you are not. Gods! Your such an arrogant thing.”

You tried to pull away from him but his hands held firm on your shoulders.

“Then why did you?” You shouted at him. “Why did you leave me there? Alone? You knew how unhappy i was there and yet still, you left!”

His eyes bore into you with alarming intensity. His expression shifted from anger to that of deep sorrow. He leaned in closer, dropping his sultry voice to a whisper.

“I did leave. Like a coward— I left. It was easier for me to believe that you would be better off here—safer here, than with me. I thought I could survive that, despite what I feel for you… But when I arrived here — when I could not find you—“

He took a ragged breath. Seeing him so undone make your chest ache.

“Go wherever you want. Hide in the deepest darkest parts of the galaxy if that will bring you peace, but do not—you cannot keep me in the dark.” His voice shook as he spoke. You stilled in his embrace, watching as his eyes darkened as they raked over your face. “Please— wherever you go— do not go far from me. I could not bare it—not knowing where you are, or how you are. At least at the compound I knew you were never alone.”

Tears threatened to spill over. His hands softened on your shoulders, the tips of his fingertips grazed the base of your neck and you let out a ragged breath. He had teased you in the past, playing flirty games, testing his boundaries with you in front of the others, but this was different. There was no amusement in his eyes, and in the solitude of your apartment, everything felt too real.

“Don’t push me away, y/n,” he murmured. “I don’t care if you’re an Avenger, or where you live, or who you want to be. I just want—” he choked on his words. It was as if he was trying to say something, but his hands trembled on your body. He cursed himself, eyeing you almost painfully, as if he was afraid. The idea of him being so— human over you, gave you an odd sense of power. You would not push him away.

You let your hand trail up his arm, slowly using your fingertips to trace up until it rested in the collar of his suit. “Then stay,” you challenged. “Stay with me, even if it’s just for tonight. Just— don’t let me be alone. Don’t leave me again.”

Loki’s eyes seemed to darken, and a soft grin spread across his face. His hand trailed up your neck, cupping the back of your head with shattering tenderness. It was all you needed.

You pulled his collar towards you, colliding with him forcefully as your lips met his. He groaned with delight at the motion, gripping your hair as he kissed you. You continued to push him, gripping his shirt as you guided him to the couch. You broke away from the kiss, long enough to give him a shove, knocking him down onto it.

Loki looked up at you, his lips glistening as he smiled up at you. He unbuttoned the coat to his black suit, giving him easier access to move around. You stood above him, watching him as he motioned with his finger for you to come closer. You tilted your head playfully, slowly inching your way closer to him.

It was strangely fun to tease him. To keep your distance from him until you decided. His eyes bore into you, scanning your body as if it was the only thing in the universe.

“I need you closer,” he said in a thick voice. “Now.”

You laughed a little, waiting another moment before moving. Taunting him. You stepped closer, until your legs met his. You stood over him and raised your eyebrows expectantly. He seemed to understand immediately, a wicked grin flashed across his face.

“Please, y/n.”

You slid yourself over his lap, placing your knees on either sides of his hips as you kissed him. His hands flattened against your back, his nails digging in softly on your shirt. You used one hand to pull his chin down slightly, giving you more access to slide your tongue further into his mouth. You reveled in the fight for dominance inside both of your mouths. You bit at his bottom lip, making him curse under his breath while his hands slid upwards to cup your head ahead.

You broke apart from the kiss, staying inches from his face as you both caught your breath. You snatched his hands as they ascended and shoved them in the opposite direction. “I don’t think so,” you purred. You placed Loki’s hands on your lower waist, near the edge of your hips. His hands seemed to fit like a glove as he gripped you and held you closer to him. Loki looked at you dreamily, his eyes glazed over with a dark wanting desire.

You leaned forward, placing your hand along Loki’s throat, exposing his bare skin as you placed your lips by his ear. “My house, my rules,” you growled softly. You felt Loki chuckle underneath your hand. The vibrations from the rest of his body underneath you sent another wave of heat rolling through your insides.

“Then by all means darling,” he mused, “teach me how to play.”

#marvel fanfic club #reader x marvel #marvel #mcu loki #loki fluff #loki #loki fanfic #loki x y/n #loki marvel #loki god of mischief #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki and you #loki and reader #loki hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort

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spahhzy · 11 months

Text

Jaune had been kidnapped. Apparently, his kidnappers thought that due to him being around one Neopolitan, she would pay the big bucks to have him back.

The fools.

Ripping off the black sack from Jaune's head, the blonde looked at the three kidnappers in shock, now usually this would be the part where the victim usually begs, and such like that for their lives but...

Jaune: Guys... I'm going to try to help you out. Please tell me you threw away my scroll.

Stooge one as Jaune now aptly nicknamed him, raised up his hand to reveal Jaune's scroll.

Jaune: annnnnd, you still have it. Why do you still have it? You don't think she has my location?

Stooge two and three looked at each other as Jaune just sighed and slumped into his chair.

Jaune: Honestly, it doesn't even matter because she chipped me...as in CCTV tracking, implanted on my left butt cheek...do you guys understand how insane that is?

Stooge 1 just rolled his eyes.

Jaune: Tell me you guys have a gun cause you will have to shoot her...is that a mallet?

Stooge two and three held out some mallets and Jaune just began to sweat.

Jaune: Okay. So here's what's going to happen...in about 5.2 seconds...the embodiment of hell; compartmentalized into a 4ft 2-inch mute is going to burst through those doors... and kick all of our asses.

Stooge three scoffed.

Jaune: especially you ma'am, I know you're a biological male, but because you identify as a female and then touched me, that's like her spiders senses tingling and you will be getting equal rights and lefts.

Not intimidated by this blonde doofs bluff, the kidnappers prepared to call one Neopolitan, unaware that she was already here.

Those poor souls.

#jaune arc #neopolitian (rwby)#rwby silent knight #incorrect quotes

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forgottenpnffacts · 2 years

Photo

Doof has poor planning skills.

#phineas and ferb #pnf #heinz doofenshmirtz #dr doofenshmirtz #doofenshmirtz #What a Croc!#What'd I Miss?#Phineas and Ferb Save Summer

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tragedytells-tales · 5 months

Text

Obey Me Incorrect quotes

Notes - quotes from poker nights + Sam and max, Feat. Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor + the rare Luke, Solomon, Simeon, and Barbatos appearance

Summary - A bunch of stupid incorrect quotes and sometimes they're out of character on purpose!

Warnings - Slight game spoilers, Chaotic and traumatized MC, Forth wall breaking

Tw - Gambling, Strong language, Guns, Violence ( nongraphic )

MC: Well of course you won with THOSE cards! Even Luci could'a won with those cards, and all he can do is talk about alcohol and how much of a poor single widowed mother he is!

Lucifer: Where in the three realms did you lot hide my demoneus now?

MC: shut the FUCK UP LUCI‼️ and people say I'M annoying??

( Telltales games : poker nights )

MC: Hey asmo, what do you think I should do?

Asmodeus: Tell her how you really feel before she runs off with Blaine!

MC: About the hand, chucklehead.

Asmodeus: Oh. Check.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Demon student: I gotta ask, what's it like living on a different plain of existence?

MC: It's great! As long as you ignore the constant firefights, random explosions, human eating plants, the fact that everyone I know and love has killed me, attempted to kill me, assisted in almost getting me killed, worsened my trust issues, or that every demon could try to eat my soul at any time- The devildom really is a home away from home!

Everyone (aside from Solomon, Simeon, and Luke): *whistles*

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: This decks gone colder than my ex. Zombie not demon, they were actually kinda hot!

MC: Sometimes I regret being brought down here. this isn't one of em though, tell me more!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, talking about Michael: I've only become aware of your existence for 1 minute and I already unapologetically hate you AND everything that you stand for!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Hey! how much property damage do you think I can get away with in the span of, let's sayy, 2 minutes?

Belphegor: considering your last record, I'd say the entirety of RAD plus half of the forest.

Lucifer: yOU WHAT??

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, watching the brothers fight: I believe I need to get in touch with my anger, Satan.

Satan: I can help with that!

( Sam & Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I believe our persuasive charm could have him seeing things our way!

MC: Or not seeing anything at all.

( Sam & Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: And what in the 7 rings happened here?

Barbatos: I'll tell you what just happened here, they just drove a man insane.

Mammon and Asmo: all in a days work!

( Sam and Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Solomon: STOP THEIVES!

MC: Y'know that never works, right?

Solomon: Oh, I know. But it's such a wonderful prelude to the impending mayhem!

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo, squeezing MC: I will pet you, and love you, and subjugate you to my every will!

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I think that poor human has been forever scared, Barbatos.

Barbatos: Then our work here is done, my liege.

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: Not to be skeptical or anything, but what makes this little human a potential weapon of doom?

MC: :]

( Sam and Max S1 E17 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Oh I think I understand, you want me to feel like any other person with freakishly destructive powers! You guys are so sweet!

( Sam and Max S1 E17 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Well this is an unlikely turn of events.

Mammon: Foiled by some oversized rubber baby buggy bumper. ( He's talking about Belphie. )

( Sam and Max S1 E18 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: Hey MC, what am I?

MC: Dumb question, you're a doof.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo, playing UNO: Is that a good idea? Cause honestly, I don't really know what I'm doing!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Solomon: I want one, but it's not for me. It's for my friend, Luke!

Luke: Don't go dragging me into your slighty malevolent and silly schemes, Solomon.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: 25th anniversary huh?

Beel: yup.

Simeon: But didn't you guys get together in the same year as the exchange program?

Beel: yes, I guess so.

Simeon: then that was 26 years ago?

MC *from afar*: MATH NEEEEEEEEEERD!!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I think this has taught us all a very important lesson. But I'll be damned if I can figure out what.

Luke: I'm unsure how much more damned you can get and I'm afraid to find out.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: Move freely he says. In these heels?!

( Sam and Max S1 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: So that's why I always feel an overbearing presence just out of my field of vision, watching and judging my every move! *stares at the forth wall*

In-game MC, at his side: That's me dude.

( Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Demon student, looking at Luke: How far would you go if I punt you?

MC: HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING. He's my lil angel.

( Sam and Max devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: Do you two know what happened?

Luke: I can't lie to Simeon!

MC: I can, kid! No, no we do not.

( Sam and Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: MC, where do you put all your school supplies?

MC: In my backpack of course!

Lucifer: But you're a sheep. Where do you put your backpack?

MC: Now that is none of your damn business, Luci.

( Sam and Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Magnatism? Don't tell me you're one of those kooks!

Satan: You don't believe in Magnatism?

Mammon: It's an interesting theory, but I'm not convinced.

Satan: This is almost as bad as Beel believing curry is a concept.

( Sam & Max beyond space and time )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: What in Diavolos name is going on in here?!

MC: My tomfoolery is none of your concern.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: MC, I believe I have developed feelings for you over the time we've known eachother.

MC: Huh, feelings of anger?? You wanna fight?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: MC, I didn't study for this test?! What do I write?!

MC: That's our marriage certificate, Mammon.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Belphi, wake up!

Belphegor: Huhh, what is it MC?

MC: You fucked up big time.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: I'm going to commit mass arson, and no one can stop me!

Lucifer: Why.

MC: ...Good question. Chaos.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: A blackout in a room full of violent creatures? Ah, don't be such a fussypants!

Mammon: A FUSSYPANTS??

( Sam & Max S1 E12 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: I'm Beel! And this is my huggable family!

Everyone in the room: Please don't hug us.

( Sam and Max this time it's virtual! )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: and here's the house of lamination! A colorful and full of life home that came to be under mysterious circumstances!

MC: By "colorful" He means decaying, filled with demonic forces, and smells like certain damnation with a hint of mildew. And by "mysterious" he means a psychologically scarring murder house turned horror movie that was dragged down here by Lucifer himself.

( Sam and Max this time it's virtual! )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: I thought we needed one of those mermaid candies to breath down here.

MC: It's fiction, jarhead. We have ridiculous lung capacity.

( Sam & Max s1 E2 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

*During the angels event*

MC: Kindness? Charity? Understanding!? When will this hellish nightmare end?!

( Sam and Max )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: You aren't scared of me?

MC: Me? Scared of you? Why should I be, you're a big blubber of man.

( Life of Melody )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: You're looking hale and hearty today Lucifer!

Lucifer: I had five years worth of coffee in five minutes Diavolo.

( Sam and Max hit the road )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: MC, you have as much of a say in this as anyone else does.

MC: You mean like how I had a say in my technical kidnapping and all of my many near death experiences?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, walks into the room with a gigantic lint roller covered in dog fur: So I lint rolled the puppy.

Mammon: Okay.

* five minutes later *

Mammon: Wait MC did what?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: This is your first and final warning! Pull over or die!

( Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, looks at the dislike portion of the student ID: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: Can I drive?

MC: Jumping vehicular homicide, no!

( Sam & Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: What do you have?

Solomon: A microwave!

MC: Somehow that's worse than you having a knife.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: They say an idle mind is the devils playhouse

MC: How curiously insulting.

( Sam & Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: Are you sensing my desire to turn you into a QUIET LIL HANDBAG.

Luke: Satan.

Satan: Sorry.

( Sam and Max S1 E10 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Daivolo: Hey MC, can I-

MC: No.

(Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Question, when was panda express constructed?

Beelzebub: Uhhhh 1776??

MC: Ah yes, during the American revolution!

( sunny side skies )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: What're ya gonna do? Gimme the silent treatment?

MC: .....

Mammon: Nooo, stop, pleeeease!!!

MC: Never underestimate the power of passive aggression, mams.

( Sam & Max beyond space and time )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: By the name of the moon I will kick thy ass!

( colors of my canvas )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: MC, can I ask why you're parkouring over furniture and nearly breaking every vase in sight?

MC: Lilith keeps trying to touch me with her icy hands!

Lilith: they're not that cold MC! I promise!

MC: YOU'RE DEAD! THEY'RE FREEZING.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Where is your "can-do" attitude?

MC: She left, long ago!

( heartstopper show s1 e1 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke *with the most serious face he can muster*: MC, I don't want to be friends anymore!

MC: Yeah, okay, that's cool lil buddy-

Luke: MC? MC are you crying?

MC: No, no, it's okay, this is fine-

Luke: MC, you're sobbing.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: Cerberus is ment to discouraged you from coming into the unground tomb.

MC, currently cuddling with a sleeping cerberus and peting his heads: And?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: It's so sad frisk died of ligma

Belphegor: who's frisk?

MC: ligma balls

Belphegor: AHHH-

( Saying alot of things as Kris )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Are there British people here in the devildom?

Diavolo: What?

Soloman: Of course not MC, British people aren't real.

Diavolo: What???

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lilith: why are you the size of a shrimp?

Belphegor: Why are you nonexistent in a physical form?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: If I gave Diavolo a lemon, he would disintegrate and I would become the ruler of the devildom, and that's the way the world turns.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: -to make them think they've come here willing and have them be more submissive."

Solomon: *cough*andbreedable*cough*

Mammon: MC, you've been drugged- Solomon????????

Lucifer: I can't have a moment of peace.

( The Day Out by @/beels-burger-babe )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: It's just sitting there, menacingly...

MC: It's literally just eating grass.

Diavolo: It's looking at me with cold, dead, eyes...

MC: It is entirely focused on the grass.

Diavolo: It's unnatural.... how can something be so, complacent?! So, unbothered?? So... So uncaring about what may happen should it let it's guard down for even a second?!

MC: That's because not everything runs on caffeine, procrastination, and daddy issues, Diavolo.

Diavolo: It's scary! 🥺

MC: It's a Capybara.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Plural for platypus, go.

Platipy- Mammon , Daivolo , Luke , Beelzebub

Platypuses- Satan , Lucifer , Barbatos

*windows shut down* - Levi , Simeon

Platypuss(e)s - Asmo , Belphi , Solomon

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: You good?

MC: No.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Player: AYO!

MC: huh?!

Player * dragging MC *: let's go bud, we're off to therapy!

MC: WAIT-

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmo: Asdsgvdfdzkga!!@^$$"'

MC: ....Pardon?

Asmo: You don't know keysmash?

MC: This is an audible conversation.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: Please let this be a normal day...

MC: With these several idiots? No way!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Hold on- how was I able to hear him from my room, which is by the kitchen down the hall from the stairs, from the attic?

Beelzebub: Big attic.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

* C R A S H *

Teen!MC: are you okay dude?

Teen!Demon: yeah I'm fine *scurrys away*

Beelzebub: they were flirting with you btw.

Teen!MC: what?

Beelzebub: Yeah, they were showing off their magic for a few minutes now. Kinda a shame you only noticed when they crashed.

Teen!MC: Damn, that's rough.

MC: All dirt is grime but not all grime is dirt.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Huh?

MC: All poultry is meat but not all meat is poultry.

Beelzebub: Correct.

MC: All math is calculated but not everything that is calculated is math.

Satan: Alright now you're just going off the rails.

MC: All pails are buckets but not all buckets are pale.

Asmo: MC, dear, I think you're sleep deprived.

MC: You can read all books but not all books have been read.

Lucifer: context, Also it is 2 am. Why are you up?

MC: Osmosis is always diffusion. But diffusion is not always Osmosis.

Belphegor: Very true.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

* Loud explosion *

Mammon * from across the castle *: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MC??

MC: that, was the sound- * peeks into the kitchen * OF THE KITCHEN BEING BURNED DOWN?!?!

Solomon: * cackling *

(Helluva boss )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: I am not a child and I don't need to be treated like one!

MC: You're literally 10. I don't know who traumatized you or how but it is fine to be a 10 year old with 10 year old feelings.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: All is forgiven-

Someone far away: BABY, C'MON GET DRESSED, YOU'RE MY DATE TO THE PEP RALLY TONIGHT!!

Solomon: Oh no.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Teen!MC: Fuck it, let's go to hell!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: They be like "I'm good and fine!" Sir, you are mentally ill and have suppressed half of your lifetime, nothing about you is "fine".

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC & Barbatos: YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY, RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD BABY, RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Have you no free will friend?!

Asmodeus: Excuse you, I'll have you know I did that morally injust thing on purpose.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I have a task for you-

MC: No.

Diavolo: wait what?

MC: No.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: * crying over Liliths body, reeling from war, daddy issues sky high, extraordinarily traumatized *

Diavolo: I can fix him!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: Ah, shit.

Simeon: Sir?

* later *

Simeon: Goddammit.

Michael: Excuse me?

* even later *

Michael: Son of a bitch.

MC: I didn't even say anything.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: So if I take off the ring I could potentially collapse all the realms, ending the worlds as we know it?

Solomon: yes.

MC: So the ring is the only thing stopping me being consumed by own magic and essentially killing me?

Solomon: yes.

MC: And the ring should be kept on at all times?

Solomon: Not really, but yes.

MC: You mean... the ring that's laying on the floor right next you?

Solomon: Pardon?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC after getting 6 hours of sleep over the span of three days because Belphegor doesn't stop whining: Can the DEMONIC BEINGS that go THUMP in the ATTIC, SHUT UP?!

Belphie: *stomping his feet* IF I HAVE TO SUFFER SO DO YOU

MC: WELL I DIDN'T LOCK YOU IN THERE, NOW DID MR ELDER BROTHER ISSUES?!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: You're an irritable sheep today, aren't you?

MC: Yeah, well, why don't try sitting in this smelly booth while I beat the hell outta helpless fish?

( Sam and Max hit the road )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: He hasn't stopped balling, or spewing, or having violent fits of rage since we brought him home! I wonder what's vexing him so...

Bb Satan: * Screaming bloody murder *

( Sam and Max S1 E10 )

AN - I needed a break from writing a long chapter and refound this. I don't know what it is either.

#obey me shall we date #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me crack

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writer-komaru · 2 years

Text

Gn!Reader relationship HC’s with Hajime and Nagito

Anon!~

(Is it just me or is it really fun to write Nagito? Just me? Hehe okay-)

(Art not mine, just wanted to find something with Komaru and these doofs in it <\3)

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･' [ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

~{ Word Count : 783 }~

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･' [ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

°.✩┈┈┈┈∘*┈┈୨♡୧┈┈*∘┈┈┈┈✩.°

» [I do Adore] «

0:00 ─〇──── 2:28

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All I can say is his vibe is a mixture of tsundere and virgin, all together in one complicated bundle of a guy. I might (and probably am) wrong with my assumption, but ever since he hit puberty, he never got out of it. The conglomeration of all of his “teenage hormones and emotions” are a constant threatening maelstrom in his mind. Either it be breaking out in a wide, fiery blush at just the smallest graze of a girl's hand on his arm while walking down the halls of his school or his spontaneous fits of anger when something frustrates him, even if it’s just as small as a slightly poor grade on a test. But thankfully it doesn’t happen all the time, to his immense relief. But, all of that crashed out of the window ever since he met you.

He isn’t a nervous kind of guy, but when he is around you, he can feel his heart beating ten thousand times a second.

Whenever you even just sit next to him while you both are eating lunch, there is something in the back of his mind telling him to freak out. But, he manages to suppress it. Barely.

He would blush a LOT! Like, I mean a lot! His face would be red beyond belief, burning up like he has a fever, sweat dripping down his forehead.

And if you either ask him why he is so flustered or check him for a fever by putting the back of your hand against his head, he will combust.

“I-I! U-Um it’s n-Nothing! Hah- uh- I- It’s the sun! I-It’s too hot out here… t-that’s all.”

And if you ever tease him for being so flustered, expect this himbo to melt into a red puddle of shame.

“Ah! D-Don’t look at me! L-Leave me alone!”

Just give him a few seconds to calm down by telling him it’s okay and letting him breathe and he’ll be fine. A little bit shaky, but fine.

But, you better savor this phase of your relationship with him for as long as you can, because after a few weeks or a month, he will become accustomed to his overwhelming feelings and start to mellow out.

Yes, he will still be very blushy, even to little things, but he wouldn’t have full on episodes anymore.

For the most part.

If, for example, he were to accidentally fall against you or, even worse, on top of you, he will go right back to his, what I call, “virgin state” of constant apologies, a red, blushing face, and covering his embarrassing expression with his hands. Poor guy :(

Your relationship with him is otherwise pretty calm.

He would try his best to hang out with you as much as he can, either it be trying to be your partner when working on school projects, having lunch with you, or walking you home after school. Maybe even hanging at your or his house? 0///0

He really likes being around you. Even while being in the reserve course where he is constantly reminded about how he is just barely not good enough, being with you makes it all a lot more bearable.

(Actually, with enough affection and convincing on your part, I bet you could stop him from signing up for the project that turned him into Izuru- 👀)

He loves to take you places to hang out! Not like restaurants (at least not all the time-) but like local places like around hope's peak or the town. Like the place where he met Chiaki. He likes that sense of not being around a lot of other people, it makes him a lot more comfortable. Not that he is shy, per sé, he just doesn’t like people sometimes.

Though… sometimes he has his.. dumb moments.

It’s hard for him to pick up on context clues sometimes. (He is a himbo after all)

He can’t help it, he tries his best.

So if you ask him for help on your homework or projects, he would try his best, of course…. But it would probably be a smarter idea if you asked someone else.

Oh, and I totally recommend calling him a himbo if he does something dumb. At first he wouldn’t know what himbo even means, but after you tell him, he will get all blushy and deny everything, trying to defend himself. But deep down, he thinks…

“Am I… really a himbo? ….. Maybe… *cries*”

Over all, an 8/10 on the boyfriend scale. Loyal, fun, and an absolute dream to tease.

If he says he doesn’t like it, that’s as big of a lie as saying Kokichi doesn't lie. <3

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･' [ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

~{ Word Count : 1072 }~

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･' [ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

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» [meant to be yours ] «

1:00 ─〇──── 3:26

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First off, this is a tough one. It’s hard for Nagito to fall in love for two reasons.

Number one, he has a fixation on ultimates, so if you don’t have an ultimate, the likelihood of him wanting to get to know you, let alone even noticing you to begin with is close to none. (I’m sorry, but I feel like when this boy is fixated on something, he can’t look at anything else) but if you are an ultimate… anything, no matter how obscure, he will treat you a lot better.

Number two, he has pretty much lost everyone who loved him, His family, friends, even pets, all because of him and his luck. (Even though it’s not his fault.) he went through all the stages of grief so much at such a young age, he just assumed it was his fault. It was the only thing that made sense. Therefore, he distances himself from making meaningful relationships. At least most of the time, because there are exceptions. For example, the ultimates! He wouldn’t want to become too close to them, he sees himself as trash anyways, but close enough so that he can lift them higher up.

But guess who is also an exception?

You!

Either if it was the moment he saw you or after a couple months of getting to know you, he could absolutely tell he was in love.

And do you know what he did?

He hid it.

He wasn’t going to taint the shining ultimates, symbols of hope, with his scummy self, not even if his feelings were literally gnawing at him from the inside.

He would just push it away. So it’s up to you to make the first move.

And once you do…

He will be utterly surprised, and also very fucking scared. You, an ultimate, likes… him? Huh? (You know the voice line ;)) His brain starts to think about how his luck could mess it up, about how it has messed up his life before. About how he has messed up his life before.

But, then he realizes something.

You spend time with him, give him small gifts, and even walk with him to his house sometimes. And now you are confessing your love to someone like him?

This must mean…

You have the most bright, shining, glorious hope of all time!!! Your hope absolutely eclipse the rest of the ultimates!

And he will quickly go from a nervous, put pretty normal expression, to absolutely freaking the fuck out. He will be blushing beyond belief, hyperventilating, shaking arms wrapped firmly around his trembling body.

And even worse?

He collapses onto the ground.

You panic. What in the world?! Is he alright?! You run over to him and as soon as you see is practically fucked out expression, you know he is more than alright.

He now believes that because of him literally just being himself, he created the most beautiful hope of all!

So it's a no brainer why he would be reacting like this.

But anyways, enough with my self indulgence, my apologies.

He would be such a good boyfriend!

Almost… too good.

What are the pros and cons, you may ask? Well…

Pros!

He will dote on you EVERY DAY, all the time, constantly. He will help you remember to eat, drink, or even things you just forgot, he will help you with your studies, fuck it, he would literally turn into your personal maid if you wanted.

He is soooo incredibly supportive! (As long as your actions are for hope, of course. But all your actions are for hope, you're literally the ultimate hope!) Every word that falls from his mouth is either praise or comfort. He only ever criticizes you if you are too hard on yourself or don’t see yourself the way he does.

Very flexible, if that’s something you care about. If plans change, either by chance or by you, especially by you, he will just go with the flow. He pretty much always has gone with the flow throughout his whole life due to his luck cycle. So if you suddenly want to be spontaneous, he will follow right behind you with a happy smile.

Cons?

A little… overbearing. As mentioned in the pros, he dotes on you a lot. It’s a way he feels like he is being useful to you. But it can because a little much at times. For example, it will take a lot of convincing on your part for him to actually feel comfortable letting you cook, or even cook together for that matter. It’s mostly because of his worry that his luck will cause something bad to happen to you, even if he isn’t physically present. He just cares a lot about you, okay? He can’t help but shelter you. So if you are a free spirit, having some.. talks with him about boundaries would be very helpful.

Very overprotective, as kinda mentions in the one up here 👆. If you get hurt, or are even in a dangerous situation, his instincts to keep you safe at all times will kick in. He might think that you getting hurt will just cause your hope to become ever brighter, but he realizes how much you absolutely hate it when you are hurt or in a dangerous situation, so he will try his best to protect you instead. And, Auta forbid, if you get bullied. He will unleash everything and anything he has upon his new enemy/enemies. You saw how intricite his plan of murder was in Goodbye Dispear, now imagine that, but 5 times worse. He honestly asked you if you needed help… disposing of your bullies, we’re he would “round them up and scold them” and you would… finish the job. He wanted your hope to grow even stronger! But, of course, you declined.

But, this only meant for a “change of plans”.

The school system didn’t even notice they were gone until it had been a few months, and by that point, no one had any leads. The case went cold before anyone could even open a file.

So… maybe talk to him about… other ways to stop bullies.

Over all, 8/10 on the boyfriend scale. Very supportive, passionate, and easy going, but a little psychotic and borderline yandere at times. Your foes better be watching their backs at all times or else they might lose them.

/(*⁰▿⁰*)\ <3!

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