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#part of me wants to just never trust another white person to love me and treat me kindly again.
novathehoe · 8 months
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white people are so constantly disappointing. its all "we support you and your struggle and we love you and we want you to feel comfortable with us!!!" until its just "why are you mad at us for doing something shitty? why can we not yell at you and degrade you and you shut up and say sorry?" we have to be so so perfect and if we slip up once or not take the fall everytime we are the worst. you dont treat your white friends or partners that way. dont we deserve the same treatment?
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pawnshopbleus · 5 months
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The Songbird
Young!Coriolanus Snow x Fem!Plinth!Reader
Summary - Lucy Gray Baird was the talk of this year's Hunger Games. She had the beauty and the voice to charm her way through the games, but what happens when rumors spark up around the Capitol that her mentor and your boyfriend, Coriolanus Snow, have shared a kiss?
Warnings - Mild angst, Speculations of cheating, Smut (Coriolanus Snow eats you out), Bad communication, it gets sort of better at the ends so just trust me, Very mild Lucy Grey slander (Rachel Zegler they could never make me hate you.), let’s pretend that Snow has the capacity to love, Not beta read.
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Being a Plinth meant two things: people hated you because you paid your way to the top, and people loved you because you had enough money to do it. Getting used to life in the capital was hard, but it got easier when you had a boyfriend who cared for you. Your brother, Sejanus, disapproved of his best friend dating his twin sister, but the two of you could care less. 
You met Coriolanus at the Academy. You were charmed by his white hair and the way he carried himself. He also wasn’t as stuck up and snobby as your other classmates. He was easy to talk to and even easier on the eyes. He must have noticed the way you were entranced by him when he asked you out. After many dates and your father's approval, he asked you to be his girlfriend.
Now, you were sitting in the lunch room, picking at the sandwich that was in front of you. It was no secret that Coriolanus’s tribute was the favorite of the capitol. She was beautiful and swept everyone off of their feet with that sweet voice of hers. Your tribute on the other hand was nothing more than a throwaway tribute from District Nine. To be frank, he was short and skinny. There was nothing much you could do for him. Maybe he could be good at hiding, but he wouldn’t last long in the arena. 
“Are you going to eat?” Coriolanus asked as he eyed your sandwich. “You need to eat, dove.”
“I’m not hungry,” you grumbled as you took a sip of your water. 
“Can I have it then?”
You nod your head and hand him the sandwich. You watched as he put it in a napkin and placed it in his coat pocket. 
You tilted your head in confusion. Was he saving that for later? “Coryo, if you, Grandma'am, and Tigris need something to eat, you can come over. You know my home is always open to you and your family.” 
He smirked and shook his head. “No, I’m saving it for Lucy Gray.” 
“Oh.” That was all you could say. Of course, he was saving that for his Lucy Gray. Him feeding his tribute would fuel the rumors that Coriolanus Snow and Lucy Gray Baird were developing a budding relationship. People were already invested in them after his stunt at the Capitol Zoo. 
You grabbed your tray from the table and left without saying another word. You couldn’t find it in you to confront him about what people were saying. Maybe you were being a bad girlfriend, but your jealousy got the best of you.    As the sun set and the moon rose, you lie in your room, hoping that Lucy Gray wouldn’t accept the sandwich. You wanted her to throw it back at him, scaring him so much that he would never visit her again. But this isn’t about what you want. This is about Coriolanus and his mission to get his tribute to win. 
The next morning, you couldn’t eat. You were physically and mentally sick with jealousy. You were meant to meet with your tribute to discuss a game strategy. In your peripheral, you could see Coriolanus with Lucy Gray. He was so alert when he talked with her. He once talked to you like that, but after the first time he saw Lucy Gray on the screen, he’s become distant. He was always talking about her, visiting her, thinking about her. Part of you wanted her to die in the arena, but your wishes fell upon deaf ears. 
For the first time, you were faced to face with your tribute. He was even skinnier in person. Your heart burned for him. You were so lucky that your parents got you out of the District when they could or else that could have been you on the other side of the table. 
“Okay, Finn, I’m going to be honest, you aren’t the person people root for, but I can make sure that you live as long as possible.” What you said was harsh, but true. You could get your father and his friends to sponsor him. With enough sponsors, he could get food, water, and medicine. That’s as good as it’s going to get. 
“We all know that Lucy Grey’s going to win. Her mentor has been visiting her every night. He brought her half of a sandwich last night. I saw them by the gates. I could see them talking. They were close, real close. I could have sworn I saw them kiss, but-” The rest of Finn’s sentence was drowned out by the sound of static ringing through your ears. 
— — — — 
Your knuckles rapped against the door of the Snow residence. It was later in the day, your tribute was thankful that you somewhat believed in him, but both of you knew that he wasn’t going to make it out alive. If anyone killed the Capitols songbird they would surely live a life of shame. 
Tigris opened the door and smiled when she saw you standing there, but her smile faded as she saw the tears streaming down your face. She opened her arms and trapped you in them, letting your tears stain her dress. “What’s wrong?” she asked. Her voice was soft and almost whisper quiet. She was a gentle soul and you trusted her with your darkest secrets. 
“My tribute said that Coriolanus and Lucy Gray kissed,” you said through tears. 
Tigris gasped and looked at you in the eyes, searching for something to say. “I’m-I don’t know what to say. That doesn’t sound like Coryo. He loves you too much to do that.” 
“Really? Lately Lucy Grey is all he can talk about. It’s like she’s his girlfriend and not me.”  “Because he wants to win the prize money. We need to pay rent and we don’t have enough.” Tigris said as she wiped away your tears. 
“It doesn’t help that the capitol likes them together. He might as well date her instead of me. I mean, she’s pretty and she can sing like none other. I just-” You were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing. In less than twenty seconds Coriolanus was at your side. 
His hands find their place on your shoulders as he pulls you away from Tigris’s grasp. His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion. “What’s wrong, dove? Did someone hurt you?” 
You wipe your nose with your sleeve. Your mother would kill you if she found out you did something so unclassy in front of a man, but right now you could care less about class. Your eyes looked around everywhere, trying not to make eye contact with his. You knew that you would cry again if you looked into his eyes. The eyes that got you hooked on him in the first place. The eyes that Lucy Grey saw flutter close before they kissed. 
Your shoulders wiggled out of his grasp. His hands fell to his sides and you could have sworn you saw his hands ball up in fists, stopping themselves from coming in contact with your soft skin. 
You swallowed the lump in your throat and said, “My tribute, Finn. He said that you and Lucy Gray kissed last night at the zoo.” It came out more as a whisper. You hated how pathetic you sounded right at that moment. 
You could see Coriolanus search for the memories of what happened last night. He then sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “We didn’t kiss,” he began, “but I can see why the other tributes would think that. We were close, but it was only because I wanted to tell her more game strategies and I didn’t want the other tributes to hear.” 
You felt stupid. You felt really stupid to assume that your boyfriend of two years would cheat on you. “But I-I heard people in the shop the other day say that they wanted you and Lucy Gray to get together. They said that the two of you had so much chemistry.”
“First of all, that’s illegal, and second of all, I love you. And only you.” His hand tilted your chin up and wiped the tears that were still falling on your face. Tigris had retired to her room a long time ago. 
Coriolanus leads you to his room. The window that overlooked the Capitol was open, letting in the cold. “Let me show you how much I love you,” he whispered, inches away from your lips. 
“Yes,” was the only thing you managed to say before he kissed you. The kiss started off soft and slow, but as his hands found their home on your waist, the kiss got harder. Your lips found a good rhythm as they got familiar with one another. His tongue skittered across your bottom lip, begging for permission to enter. Your tongues danced with one another before Coriolanus broke the kiss. 
His lips pressed light kisses along your neck. He nipped at your skin causing you to jump a bit. He smiled into your skin and laid you down on his bed. His hand slid down to the bottom of your dress. You had changed after you got home from the visit with your tribute. You wanted to get that stupid uniform off before it suffocated you. 
“Do you want this?” he asked as his fingers inched the bottom of your dress up inch by inch until the only thing that was left covering your bottom half was your underwear. They were already soaked through. He began placing soft kisses on the skin of your things, but he wouldn’t go any further until he got your permission. The last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. After all, this was supposed to be about you. 
You nodded your head and Snow nipped your inner thigh. “Words, dove.” 
“Yes, Coryo.” 
“Good girl.” He breathed before his fingers hooked into the waistband of your underwear. He slowly took them off of you, dragging this on as long as he could before you went mad. Your chest rose and fell as you focused on the man in between your legs. 
Right now, the games were the least of your worries. The people who started the rumors of Coriolanus and Lucy Grey could go to hell for all you cared. You finally had the truth. Coriolanus loved you, and no District Twelve songbird could change that. 
Coriolanus nuzzles his nose against your clit as his tongue prods against your entrance. Your hand clamped over your mouth as you tried your best to muffle your moans. You would just die if Grandma'am or Tigris heard what their beloved Coriolanus was doing to you. 
Seconds later, his mouth hungrily sucked on your clit. Your eyes went wide and you let out a silent moan. Overwhelmed with pleasure, your thighs clamp around his head, but instead of pushing them back, he keeps them there. He looks up at you and his beautiful blue eyes flutter close, enjoying the way you taste. 
His fingers trace along your wet hole, gathering your slick. First, he inserts his index finger and then his middle one. His fingers are long and skinny, but they feel oh so fucking good. His fingers fuck in and out of you, stroking along your G-spot. 
You can’t hold on much longer. He can tell by the way your pussy clenches around his fingers. He hungrily laps at your clit, drawing small and tight circles with his tongue. Coriolanus loves this part. The part when your back arches off his bed, when your pussy spasms around him, and when your thighs shake as you let out the prettiest moan. Chills run down your body as you shiver with pleasure. You come off your high as he takes his fingers out of you. They’re soaked with your release and he grins down at them. He licks his fingers clean of your slick and kisses the skin right above your hips. 
“That better?” he asked, lying next to you on the bed. 
You nod your head. You weren’t able to form words right at the moment.
“I’m sorry for making you believe that I would ever cheat on you. I really do love you, my dove.” 
Your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach. You let oxygen fill your lungs before you exhale and turn it into carbon dioxide. “Coryo, I’m sorry for being jealous. I know how much this annual Hunger Games means to you. You know that my father would be more than happy to pay your rent. He knows how much you mean to me.” 
Coriolanus shook his head. “That’s not what this is about. Dove, I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you for your father.” 
You got up and straddled his lap, your bare pussy was just inches away from his hard cock. Coriolanus gulps, his Adam's apple bobbing. Your hands wipe away some hair from his face. “Then what is this about? Please, let me know. I want to help.” 
He hides his face in the crook of your neck. “I want to show the Dean that I can win. I want to show him that Snow lands on top,” Coriolanus mumbles against your skin. 
“Figuratively and literally,” you whisper. 
Coriolanus spent the rest of the night showing you exactly what he meant by ‘Snow lands on top.’
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xzaddyzanakinx · 7 days
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Not That Kind of Guy
Part Ten: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series
Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink (Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, oral, dick piercing, spit, back shots, GEN. SMUT[Be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]
Info: Anakin is so annoyed with his mother. He discovers something and Ghost has plans for it. [diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+
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Diary Entry: August 16th
I thought for sure you’d kick me to the curb. But just like always, you never fail to amaze me. You like the side of me that no one else does, you like both of me, that’s a miracle if I’ve ever seen one.
I don’t even like both of me.
You chose me, for whatever reasons you might have, pure curiosity or genuine care and interest… I don’t really care. All I care about is that you chose me. You want me. Me. All of me.
You’re choosing both of me. Separately. But soon you’ll love both sides of me, you’ll love me as a whole. That’s something no one has ever given to me. No one has ever wholly loved me, partially because I’ve never shown anyone all of me, partially because I used to fail miserably at balancing the black and white of my being.
Anakin the perfect boyfriend and future husband deserves your daylight love. Ghost the purposely imperfect and probably less than sane guy deserves your midnight curiosities.
I like this. Separating myself this way, it’s more manageable. I’ve tried for years and years to just be Anakin who is always pretending to be the man of the year, but is still just a tad too… off putting.
To everyone back home, I’ll always be the strange guy who only had two friends, himself and the neighbor kid who was only such good friends with him because they grew up in close proximity.
Anakin, the weird kid who didn’t know how to smile properly.
Anakin, the creep who stared too much, not at anything inappropriate. I wasn’t leering at women or anything, it’s just creepy for people to be looked at by someone who has ‘dead eyes’ and ‘doesn’t blink enough’.
Anakin, the ‘well he’s trying’ boy. The poor little guy who brought Brianna a handful of nettles on the playground, tied together with worms. ‘He meant well! He’s trying to be nice sweetie.’
Anakin, the ‘turn out your pockets before you come inside’ kid. You come home with a dead squirrel in your hoodie pocket once and your mother will never trust you not to have another stashed somewhere.
‘hey, it’s not that I don’t think you’re great! I do! You’re just not… great for me.’
‘please don’t look at me like that, it makes me uncomfortable’
‘Get away from my yard, I know what you’re doing!’
‘Who’s cat is that? Anakin! Where did you get this?’
‘Ani, you can’t keep doing this. I can’t protect you forever!’
‘Don’t you want to have friends? A girlfriend? To grow up and have a family? Don’t you want that?’
I was always Anakin-weird as hell, psycho, town freak-Skywalker.
In your daylight love I can be Anakin-nice guy, perfect smile, warm hugs-Skywalker.
I can shove everything else into The Pit until I’m ready to put on that Ghostface mask and take off my mask of normalcy. Weird isn’t it? Putting on a mask just to take off another one?
I like it though. I really like it.
I can be normal for you. I can. I can be normal. As long as Ghost can be let out of The Pit sometimes. No more balancing on the edge for Anakin. No more hiding and pretending and suffocating myself with the act of being a person.
If I can flood Anakin with all the things I’ve learned over the years, all the knowledge I’ve stored away in my mind’s filing cabinets… then you can have the man you deserve.
You’ll just have to come to terms with the fact that once Ghost makes his appearance, your Anakin is gone until further notice.
I think you’ll do well with that. You’re already handling it swimmingly.
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Diary Entry: August 17th
You left me a note of your own this morning, a question I wasn’t expecting in the slightest. When I walked into the kitchen and finally cracked open the diary you’d left laying there for me I was shocked. Absolutely and completely shocked.
‘When are you coming home?’
You’re asking Ghost to visit you? For real? I don’t even know how to react, I never thought you’d be the one requesting the company of my masked presence. I guess giving you an option, proving your feelings and your well-being mattered most to me was the right move.
Now I just have to figure out what I’m going to do. I’ll have to plan. I need to think.
I have to be so much more careful now.
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Date
August 18th
This is the first time Ghost hasn’t responded when you’ve contacted him. It’s been three days of nothing. He’s not been inside your house at all, no gifts, nothing has been moved, your cat’s bowl is empty when you get home.
His absence is more unsettling that his presence.
You’re beginning to wonder if you’ve angered him by asking about his next visit, was that the wrong thing to do? Did it freak him out? Asking about his plans… did it make him uncomfortable? Or is he tired of the chase now? Now that you’re interested… is it possible he’s lost the adrenaline rush of it all and he won’t be back at all?
There’s no time to ponder or worry right now, yet here you are staring into the foggy mirror in your bathroom post-shower.
“Hey sweetheart?” Anakin’s cheery voice floated to you from under the door.
“In here!” You called out, opening the door up and wiping off the mirror, grateful to have been pulled out of your mind.
“Want help picking something out?” He asked, wrapping his arms around your middle, pressing his nose to the crown of your head to smell your freshly washed hair.
“Mmm yeah if you want.” You nodded, smiling at him in the mirror.
“You excited?” He grinned, poking your sides to hear you giggle.
“Yeah… a little bit nervous though to be honest.” You confessed.
“What? Why? They’ll like you, I have no doubts.” He said with a reassuring squeeze to your shoulders.
“I know, it’s just… what if they don’t?” You asked nervously, looking away from his intense gaze in the mirror.
“They will.” He whispered kissing your temple.
“But what if they don’t?”
“They will, but, if for some reason they don’t then they’re stupid.” He shrugged his shoulders. “But I know they will okay?”
“But Ani I’m worr-“
“Hey.” He said sharply, catching the words before they could leave your lips. “That’s enough.” He said in a softer tone.
He sighed, grabbing the hair brush from the sink countertop. He started brushing through your wet tangles, starting at the ends and working his way up.
“You’re important to me. They know that.” Anakin whispered, kissing your shoulder. “They know you’re something special, trust me. I’ve never brought anyone to meet them before.”
“Seriously?” You whipped your head around with a horrified expression on your face.
“Yeah seriously.” He nodded. “I’ve never felt like this for anyone else.” He gently directed your head back to face the mirror so he could continue brushing your hair.
“That makes it even worse!” You squeaked, slumping over against the sink, your arms crossed on the cold Formica top with your forehead rested on them.
“Why?” He asked as he sat the brush aside and placed his hand on your back, rubbing up and down the soft fabric of the towel around you.
“I’m the first girl you’re bringing home!” You said exasperatedly, “they’re gonna be expecting someone like… like super great and amazing.”
“You are super great and amazing.” He laughed, squeezing your hip and patting it gently.
“But-“
“Baby stop.” He said softly. “You’re gonna work yourself up all over nothin’. Please, just trust me okay? They’re gonna think you’re perfect.”
“Okay.” You sighed, standing back up and turning around to hug him tightly. “Alright. Let’s get ready then.”
“I’m ready.” He said gesturing to his tight grey crewneck and ripped black jeans. “All fancy and shit.”
“I wouldn’t say fancy, but I would say hot.” You grinned.
“Stop.” He chuckled, “should I go change? I can’t have you drooling over me at the dinner table with my parents.”
“No, no don’t change.” You shook your head with a giggle. “I can wait.”
“You can wait?” He gave you a devilishly toothy smile. “Wait for what darlin’? Does baby need some attention?”
He picked you up and sat you on the sink counter, giving your ass a firm squeeze. Immediately bringing one hand to your cheek, his thumb on your chin, he tilted your head to the side and hovered his lips just over your skin. Barely grazing the softness of his lips up the length of your neck to the dip beneath your ear. His free hand rubbing up and down your side, as he finally pressed a hot, open mouthed kiss to your sensitive flesh.
“My girl only waits when I say so.” He whispered, nipping your earlobe.
He nuzzled into your neck, bringing your ass to the edge of the sink with one arm, using the same hand to slip beneath your towel and travel up your abdomen. The towel fell from where it was tightly tucked at your chest, Anakin’s hand cupping your breast gently as he thumbed at your nipple.
His lips soldered to yours in a passionate caress of lips and tongues, you could taste the minty flavor of the gum he constantly chewed, the forever lingering ghost of cigarettes and the delicious savory flavor that was uniquely him.
He was so good at distracting you with his mouth on yours that he could get away with just about anything and you’d never know until it was too late. Just like now, when you heard his belt buckle clank against the bathroom tiles. You couldn’t help but smile, it was something so simple, but it was one of your favorite things.
The sound will forever be associated with every kiss, every touch, every gasp and breath he’d given you and every intimate moment to come. The jangle of his belt buckle coming loose meant falling apart in his arms, it meant love without saying it aloud.
Anakin snickered as he teased your opening with one finger, swirling it around the outside, never fully dipping inside.
“Greedy little pussy.” His deep bedroom voice never failed to conjure up a gush of slick to your already drenched cunt. “So fucking wet already.”
“Mhm.” You nodded, wiggling your hips closer to his hand or at least you tried to, Anakin held you firmly in place, tsking at your attempt.
“See? Greedy.” He chuckled but gave in anyway, finally pushing in one digit to twirl around your gummy walls while he pumped in and out slowly.
“Can’t help it.” You panted, breathing heavily despite the relief of getting what you wanted, you needed more. “Missed you Ani.”
“Oh poor thing, I missed you too.” He cooed, adding a second finger while he rolled his wrist as he thrusted his fingers deeper.
Just as you were about to speak again, the shrill sound of your phone alarm blared next to you on the counter top, making you both jump.
“Jesus! what the fuck.” He snorted, “pause baby.” He said as he reached over to turn it off and check the time.
“I’m so glad you set shit like that or else we’d never get anywhere on time.” He said with a smile. “Now, hop down and let me bend you over.”
“What we’re doing a quickie?” You teased as you did as requested, sliding off the sink and obediently bending at the waist for him.
“As much as I hate it, yes.” He sighed. “You know I like to take my time.”
He said as he rubbed his rough palm over the swell of your ass, tugging his boxers down with his other hand. He shoved his palm under your chin and tapped your cheek.
“Spit.” His voice was rough and gritty, like he he was straining, fighting not to ram himself into you right that very second.
You spit into his hand, earning a mumbled: “Atta girl.”
He slicked his cock with your saliva, stroking himself quickly with the head of his cock pressed to your entrance, pleasuring himself but just torturing you with the heat of his length.
“Ani!” You whined, pushing your hips back against him.
You’d done exactly what he wanted. The second you pushed back he rammed his cock deep inside your pulsing heat. He set a brutal pace, wrapping one arm around your chest. Your hands instinctively flew up to hold onto his muscled forearm, his grip tightened and you gasped in surprise.
“Christ Anakin.” You breathed out, your eyes wide with shock at this sudden change of pace.
He was a slow and sensual lover, he liked to take his sweet time and caress every curve and kiss every centimeter of flesh that he could reach. But this was completely different, this was pure hunger, hips snapping against your ass at a punishing pace.
His other arm came down your stomach and spread your pussy lips apart to press and pinch the little hard nub that would have you shaking beneath him.
The way he was breathing so heavily in your ear, the hot air fanning over your cheek, it only heightened the feeling. Sending goosebumps down your skin and perking up your nipples again. The sound of your wetness was loud enough to hear with each and every plunge of his cock.
“You like it like this baby?” He chuckled, “sounds like you like it.”
“Uh huh.” You nodded rapidly, gripping his arm tightly as a particularly sharp streak of lightning shot through you.
Your pussy clenched down around his cock and you closed your eyes to concentrate on the feeling the metal jewelry at the tip of his cock gave you as it stroked your insides roughly.
“Making such pretty noises,” he moaned, tilting your head back and to the side using your hair, to properly reach your mouth so he could ravage you with his tongue just as he was with his dick.
“C’mon baby, let me hear it.” He panted, sucking your lip between his teeth.
“That’s it, yeah there’s my girl.” He laughed, watching your eyes roll back until just the whites were visible. Your eyes fluttered shut as your cunt pulsed around him.
“Fuck… Fuck that’s- right there… please?” You whined, trapping his hand right where it was with your fingers digging into his wrist.
“Good manners.” He praised, licking along the length of your jaw. “Good manners baby, so proud.”
“Just like this huh?” He questioned teasingly, a smirk on his lips caught your attention in the foggy mirror. “You like the piercing don’t you baby? Feels good doesn’t it?”
“Fuck yeah.” You moaned, squeezing your eyes shut tight while you waited for him to push you over the edge. “L-love it. Don’t ever fucking take it out again.”
“Sure thing baby.” He snickered. “You ready sweetheart? Getting close aren’t you?”
“You can cum.” He said as you nodded, his forehead now resting on your shoulder as he drilled into you, rolling your clit between his finger and thumb.
The coil that had been wound tightly in your core snapped with his permission, a high pitched groan eeked out from between your gritted teeth, your cunt leaking down his shaft as he fucked you through the high.
“Lean down.” He said as he pulled out abruptly, leaving you gaping and gasping for breath.
“Perfect.” He groaned, one hand on your waist as you pressed your torso against the sink counter.
He stroked his cock wildly, his fingers digging into the plush of your waist, squeezing soothingly when his chin dropped to his chest and he stiffened up, holding his breath. All you could hear was the sound of his slick hand pumping his swollen length over your ass.
Until finally you felt the warm spurts of cum splatter on your skin, the viscous fluid dribbling down your lower spine until it slid over your ass hole.
“Fuck, that looks so damn pretty.” He breathed heavily, standing back to take in his art work.
“I should take a picture.” He whispered, kneeling behind you with a hand under each ass cheek, he licked up his own cum with a satisfied hum.
——————————————————————————
Approximately an hour after Anakin defiled you in the steamy confines of your bathroom, you were walking hand in hand into one of the nicer restaurants on the outer circle of the city. Meeting his mother terrified you, his stepfather not so much. Anakin didn’t grow up with him, he wasn’t a staple of his childhood.
But his mother was. She was a single parent, worked so incredibly hard to provide for herself and her son. She made sure he had everything he needed and then some, she was truly a saint.
“Chill out.” Anakin whispered, squeezing your hand gently. “You’re okay.”
You nodded and silently let Anakin pull you along behind the host who was leading you to the table where his mother and stepdad waited for you both.
You laid eyes on his mother first and the smile that spread across your lips was genuine. As soon as you saw her your worries started to slip into the backseat of your mind. She exuded a calming atmosphere, she seemed so serene and unbothered. What you’d give to live life like that.
You could see where Anakin got his comforting nature from, especially as she stood up and extended her hand to you. The gentle smile and warmth in the crinkle of her eyes was enough to melt your heart.
“I’m Shmi.” She introduced herself in a soft tone, looking to her side where her husband sat. “This is Cliegg, Anakin’s stepfather.” He gave you a nod and warm smile after clapping Anakin on the back in an awkward side hug.
“It’s great to meet you guys!” You chirped, introducing yourself quickly.
“You too sweetie.” Shmi smiled, moving to envelope her son in a hug.
“Hey momma.” Anakin chuckled, squishing her shorter frame in a big bear hug. “Miss ya.”
“Missed you too hon.” She said quietly, patting his chest before returning to her seat.
She gave Anakin a little smile of approval when he pulled your chair out for you to slide into, you wanted to gush about how grateful you were that she’d raised him to be such a gentleman but you got the feeling that she already knew.
The four of you engaged in a bit of small talk while looking over the menu options, you refrained from even picking up the menu, getting an odd look from Cliegg who just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘suit yourself’. The waiter returned with ice water for everyone and a bottle of wine for the table, getting ready to take orders with their pad and pen at the ready.
After Anakin’s mother and her husband ordered, Shmi looked at you expectantly but you just gave her a small smile as Anakin ordered for the both of you.
“Anakin.” She chided him after the waiter left. “She’s perfectly capable of speaking for herself.”
“I know she is.” He said firmly. “But she shouldn’t have to when I’m perfectly capable of doing it for her.”
“Shmi it’s okay really.” You laughed light, knocking Anakin’s foot with your own as a warning. “I prefer it honestly. I think it’s sweet.”
She gave you an odd look, her face was soft just as it had been the whole night so far, but her eyes conveyed something that you couldn’t quite place.
“Alright sweetie.” She conceded and nodded, the look passing over her eyes just as quickly as it appeared.
Anakin’s arm slid around your waist momentarily to offer some comfort, gently squeezing your hip and tapping his thumb rhythmically while he jumped straight back into the conversation he was having with his stepdad.
“So, Anakin’s told me quite a bit about you.” Shmi said warmly. “He said you’re a waitress and you’re taking classes at the college?”
“Yeah, that’s right.” You nodded happily. “The Bluebird Diner, it’s a real great place. Anakin’s a big fan of the butterscotch pie.” You smiled.
“The college… yes I’m taking classes. They’re all going well but I’m not set on a major yet and it’s getting to be the time that I decide.” You sucked in an anxious breath, giving her a nervous look.
“Well that’s perfectly fine.” She said, surprising you with her acceptance of your unplanned career. “I dropped out after my freshman year and didn’t complete my degree until Anakin was in highschool.” She explained.
“Oh really?” You raised an eyebrow, glancing at Anakin’s side profile while he spoke to his stepfather. “Do you mind if I ask why?”
“Why I dropped out?” She asked, leaning back in her chair. “Well it was for a few reasons. Mostly because it’s difficult to work, educate yourself and raise a child alone.”
“I can imagine it would be.” You agreed with a humored smile, expecting to be met with a similar expression by Shmi.
Though you weren’t, instead she had a strange sort of reminiscent look about her. Not the fuzzy feeling of nostalgic reminiscing, more of a moment of remembering something unpleasant.
“Yes.” She nodded, “Anakin didn’t make it any easier.”
“Oh…” you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at her sudden shift in demeanor.
It seems she noticed your body language change and she quickly corrected herself by breaking out into a smile, sitting back up straighter in her seat.
“But what kid doesn’t?” She laughed lightly, reaching out to pat your hand affectionately.
“Right,” you nodded, chalking up her strange switch up as a mother remembering her rowdy son. It must be hard, seeing him grown up and finally bringing a girl to meet her.
“So how did you two meet?” Shmi asked, turning in her seat to face you fully, giving you her full attention. “Anakin said you’re neighbors?”
“Yeah! Yeah that’s how we met officially.” You nodded.
“Officially?”
“Well we found out after we’d talked a few times that we actually met at the bar he works at.” You explained, “he made a drink for me. I thought he looked like… semi-familiar, you know it’s hard to miss the tattoos.” You smiled.
“Oh that’s very true.” Shmi laughed. “Definitely stands out.”
“Yeah, so we officially met the day he was moving in across the hall from me.”
“Oh you’re telling her about move in day?” Anakin cut in with a big grin on his face.
“Mhm.” You nodded happily, gazing at him with a hint of adoration in your eyes. “Anakin had his stuff strewn out in the hallway and I knocked over a stack of his books.” You laughed and he squeezed your shoulder lightly.
“Yeah, then we chatted for a bit and she noticed a book of mine that she’d lost her copy of, so I gave it to her. That’s how I snatched her up.” He said proudly, gesturing to you with both hands like he was presenting a trophy.
“Huh, who knew you had a little romantic streak?” Cliegg laughed.
“Oh he definitely does!” You agreed eagerly.
“Well Anakin I have to say: I’m extremely impressed you’ve found such a lovely girl.” Shmi said softly, glancing at you with those warm eyes.
“Took you long enough.” His stepdad smacked his upper arm with the back of his hand with a deep laugh.
“Hey, I was holding out for the right one.” Anakin said with a satisfied smile. “I wanted my forever girl and I found her.”
——————————————————————————
The rest of the night went smoothly, no hiccups, no awkward moments, nothing you’d worried about came to fruition. His mother was as sweet as could be and her husband definitely suited her well. All in all, you were happy to have had the opportunity to get to know them. You were proud to be the first girl worthy of meeting them and you were thrilled that they seemed to like you as much as you liked them.
“See? Told you.” Anakin whispered, walking beside you out of the restaurant.
“You were right.” You sighed. “Nothing to worry about.”
“I was what?” He fake gasped, one hand coming up to cover his mouth dramatically.
“You heard me and I’m not repeating it.” You giggled, bumping him with your shoulder.
“Good enough for me princess, I’ll take it.” He smiled, pulling you close and pressing a chaste kiss to your hair.
You said your goodbyes to Anakin’s parents just outside the entrance, a full, loving hug from Shmi and a ‘you’re great but we’re not there yet’ double hand squeeze on one of yours from his stepdad.
You’d just started walk to the car when Shmi called out to Anakin, causing you both to swivel around.
“Ani, sweetheart can you come talk for just a second?” She asked sweetly.
“Oh… yeah okay.” He nodded, handing you the car keys.
“I’ll go see what’s up baby.” He said with a soft tone, “go ahead to the car.”
You followed instructions and did exactly as he asked, climbing into the passenger seat of his car and starting it so you could listen to the radio while Anakin was gone. You didn’t think much of it, it was probably just a bit of an after dinner debrief.
Anakin jogged over to his mom and leaned against Cliegg’s truck while he climbed in, leaving just Shmi and Anakin to speak alone.
“Ani she’s a wonderful girl.” Shmi said, squeezing his arm gently.
“Yeah she is, she’s perfect isn’t she?” He gushed, his pupils widened at just the thought of you.
“Yes-“
“She’s just… everything. She’s everything to me.” He continued, picking up his mothers hand.
“Just w-“
“I mean I really believe she’s the one mom.” He squeezed her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles in an affectionate way. “Really I do, she’s perfect. I- I’m so glad you guys like her, I knew you would of course but she was just so nervous and-“
“Anakin!” Shmi said sternly, her voice quickly going back to a calm tone after getting his attention.
“Anakin, sweetie, I’m so glad you’ve found your person.” She started slowy, holding eye contact with her son’s intense gaze. “I’m proud of you, you know that don’t you?”
“Yeah of course-“
“I’m proud of you. You’re a good boy honey.” She said quietly, “she’s a sweet girl, she deserves the best.”
“Well yeah she does, of course she does and-“
“Are you being your best?” Shmi asked him, her voice turning hard, alittle sharp. “Swear to me, Anakin. Swear you are?”
“Yes mom.” He sighed as though he were expecting this conversation.
“Are you still taking your medicine? Seeing your doctor?” She asked worriedly.
“Really?” He scoffed. “Please, let’s just drop it. This was a good day, please don’t ruin it by worrying over nothing.”
“Are you though?”
“Yes!” He hissed, clenching his teeth tightly. “Yes I’m still seeing the doctor and taking the stupid pills, yes.”
“Good. Very good.” She breathed a sigh of relief at his compliance.
“Don’t ask me if she knows.” Anakin said sternly. “She doesn’t.”
“You can’t just keep that from her, she has a right to know Anakin!”
“It’s not the right time for that.” He raised his voice slightly. “She doesn’t need to know yet. I’ll tell her on my own terms.”
“But you can’t-“
“I said: I’ll tell her on my own terms.” He breathed deeply, keeping his temper in check. “Please mom, just… just be happy for me okay? I’m doing really good, I’m happy. Please just let me be happy.”
“Alright.” She sighed, nodding slowly. “You’re right. I’m sorry sweetie, I shouldn’t have questioned you like that.”
“It’s okay. I know you worry.” He mumbled, pulling her into a hug, his hand rubbing between her shoulder blades.
“I- I just so badly want you to be happy.” She said quietly. “I want you to be safe, happy, and loved. You deserve to be loved.”
“I am loved.” Anakin whispered, his voice rough, “You love me. Cliegg loves me. Owen probably loves me. I think she might love me too.”
“You think so?” She asked in a brighter tone.
“Yeah, I do.” He nodded, pulling back with a soft smile.
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Diary Entry: August 18th
I love my mother, but she worries too much. Talking to me like I’m some child to be coddled and babysat. I don’t need her or anyone else to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do, especially when it comes to you, my little doe.
I know what’s best for you, for our relationship, and it’s my opinion that you don’t need to burden yourself with my past transgressions. I’m a changed man, what I did as a teenager, as a kid, has no reflection on who I am today.
Telling you about it is out of the question. At least for now… but, it’d probably be for the best to never, ever speak of it. I just don’t see the point in sharing something like that with you when it would cause your pretty little head to worry over something so irrelevant to the present.
Not to mention the stupid fucking doctor. It was ridiculous, asking me such a personal question when she knows very well that it upsets me when she interrogates me like that. It’s none of her business anymore, I’m not a child, I can take care of myself.
If anything, her questioning and distrust makes me want to do it even less just to prove that I can live without it.
I don’t need to see a fucking shrink if I’m taking the pills right? It’s overkill to do both. I don’t need to talk about my feelings, I don’t need to tell a stranger all about my past and the questionable things I’ve done. That’s why I have a journal and I think it suits me just fine.
Just another reason why I love you so much. You’ve helped me by getting me into writing stuff down instead of keeping it bottled up. You’re responsible for the thing that helps keep me from spiraling, you should be so proud of yourself, showing me this A+ coping skill.
It’s way better than: ‘Breathe in… breathe out… focus on your surroundings and count the things you can see and feel.’
Like what the hell is that? What’s that supposed to do? Distract me? Yeah right.
It can’t distract me from what’s going on in my head. Not when it’s so much all at once, all the time. It was exhausting to pretend that something like that was working for me. Journaling is so much better. So much easier.
It’s real and it’s tangible. I can flip through the pages and return to the good things, or I can skip over the bad stuff but take comfort in knowing that I was able to write it down.
So fuck the shrink, I’m not going back. I haven’t been in months and I’m doing perfectly fine.
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Diary Entry: August 20th
I cannot for the life of me figure out what the hell I’m going to do. I’m grasping at straws here, trying to figure out how to handle the Ghost situation.
I can tell you’re getting annoyed.
How am I supposed to respond? I know it’s been days but I can’t bring myself to answer the texts, the notes, the questions shouted into your otherwise empty home.
Hopefully you’ll understand, though I acknowledge that you have every reason to be upset with me. I’m assuming you’re feeling some sort of betrayal after the letter… I hate that. I really hate it. But it’s unavoidable.
You responded extremely well to my offer and the opportunity for a choice. So I’ll just do that again. That sounds reasonable, I’ll give a bit of an explanation, little apology and then I’ll let you choose what happens next.
This is what happens when I don’t fully plan ahead. I fuck things up and then it’s just a gommed up mess.
Then the whole situation with my mother really threw me off. It just added another layer of ‘what the hell’ to my already high stack of self imposed problems.
I want to do something. I need to do something. I have shit to get off my chest.
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Date
August 22nd
Finally, finally Ghost has gotten back in contact with you.
Now that the little grey envelope is sitting on your nightstand… you almost don’t want to open it. After all the silence on his end it’s impossible to guess what he has to say. Though as you’re convincing yourself not to open it, it’s found it’s way into your hand.
LETTER
Little Doe,
My absence was unexpected for you as well as myself, for that I apologize. I would go into detail if I could but unfortunately we both know that I can’t do that.
Let’s just say that my life got a bit complicated and I had to take a moment to iron things out. Now that everything is starched and pressed it’ll be back to business as usual.
While I was gone I took some time to consider your question as well. So I’ll match you with a question of my own.
I’ve been… stressed to say the very least. I don’t like to be destructive, I’m not that kind of guy. So I was wondering if you’d help me out, give me a bit of an alternative rage release?
Don’t lie, I know you’re curious. I know you want me just as badly as I want you. I bet you’re wet just reading this, aren’t you? I think it’s high time for you to be conscious enough to really enjoy everything I’m giving you. Don’t you agree?
I heard you like it rough. Is that true princess? I’ll give you rough, just say the word and I’ll make sure you’ve got marks that’ll last for weeks.
Next half of the question: here or elsewhere?
You sure do love to show off that little body of yours. I wonder if that would translate over into your sex life if you’d let it.
Your choice little doe.
——————————————————————————
‘He did not just ask me that… did he?’
You stared at the letter in your hands, your mind going well over the speed limit on the road to rational thinking. It was tempting, oh so very tempting. He’s right of course, he always is, you are curious. You do want him, maybe even need him.
It’s obvious he’s more than capable of giving you what you needed, what you wanted. The man had you feigning for him for weeks with no relief, all from teasing you, all while you were unaware.
It would be… interesting to see for yourself in the waking world what he’s done to you in dreamland. It’s alright if it’s for research purposes isn’t it? Is it really cheating if you don’t know the person at all, his identity is a complete mystery; that should count for something right?
Just a smidgen of a mitigating factor would be enough to sway you to say yes.
“Hey.” You called out, waving your hand as if he were there with you and you were trying to get his attention. “You listening?”
*Ping* a text came through almost immediately: ‘Always.’
“You’re serious about this?” You asked, holding the stationary in one hand, gesturing to it with your other.
‘I’m always serious.’
“Right.” You sighed, pulling your legs up to sit cross-legged. “I don’t think this would be very kind of me to do. I just met Anakin’s mother, our relationship is getting serious.”
‘Congrats. What does that have to do with my need to fuck you?’
“Uh everything.” You scoffed. “That’s cheating. I don’t want to cheat on him!”
‘Defensive are we?’
“Yes,” you hissed, scrubbing your forehead with the palm of your hand, “very defensive for good reason.”
‘I admire your loyalty, but be honest with yourself little doe.’
“I am being honest! I don’t want to cheat on him!” You shouted back.
‘You didn’t say that you didn’t want me to fuck your though.’
“Christ.” You mumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose.
“I didn’t say that. You’re right.” You conceded.
‘Then it’s a yes?’
“Not necessarily.” You snapped, the true answer was right there, clawing away in the cage of your teeth.
‘So no then.’
“That’s not what I said.” You said hastily, alittle too eager to correct him.
‘I see.’
“What?” You scoffed, staring at the message that’d popped up.
Another followed, this time a voice message. You hesitated before pressing play, holding your phon up to your ear to hear it clearly. His gravely distorted voice washed over you in all its unholy temptation.
“Don’t worry little doe. I know just what you need.” He paused for a moment as if considering something, “It’s been a while since you’ve had a night out. Go have some fun, I’ll catch up with you.”
“Oh no. Absolutely not. You’re not knocking me out cold again.” You said angrily.
‘Of course not. I want you to be awake for this.’
“Then… then why do you want me to go to the bar?” You asked suspiciously.
‘Surprise :)’
“Fuck.” You muttered, rubbing your temples before picking up your phone to message Luke and Han, as well as your good friend from book club.
“Just to be perfectly clear: I’m not saying yes!” You said, looking around the room with a red tint to your cheeks.
‘Not a no either.’
You could practically hear his voice, that teasing tone you knew all too well. What an ass, a stupid sexy ass.
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DATE
August 24th
“Oh look at you princess.” Anakin whistled wrapping his arms around your waist when you walked out of your bedroom in a sweet little pink dress.
“Pretty, pretty girl.” He mumbled and he nuzzled into your hair, taking a deep breath to smell the scent of your shampoo.
“Oh hush,” you giggled, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. “can’t be saying stuff like that, you’re gonna get me all flustered.”
“What if I want you to be all flustered?” He chuckled, tipping your head back to capture your lips and invade your mouth with a gentle caress of his tongue.
“Mmm taste as good as you look baby.” He whispered, his words fanning over your bottom lip and straight down to your core.
“Anakin…” you whined, looking up at him and wishing for mercy.
“Shhh don’t whine.” He laughed, pinching your chin between his forefinger and thumb. “I’ll quit teasin’… for now.”
“But you do look gorgeous you know?” He said sincerely, very lightly touching your cheek so as not to mess up your makeup.
“Thank you Ani.” You said shyly, leaning up on your tip toes to kiss his nose.
“So what’s the plan again? Dinner at that one Thai place you like? Then you’re going to the bar?” He asked, leaning back against the kitchen counter, his hands resting on the countertop at his sides.
“Yep that’s the plan.” You nodded, checking your bag to ensure you had everything you needed.
“Call me when you get there? You’re walking aren’t you?” He asked, looking at you with a gaze of concern that warmed your heart.
“Yes I’m walking and yes I will call when I get to the restaurant and I’ll text when I’m leaving.” You promised, tossing your mini backpack over your shoulder and giving him a hug and soft kiss.
“Alright sweetheart, I’ll see you at the bar.” He said in a low tone, smoothing out your hair as he held you close for a moment longer.
You left your home and Anakin behind, trotting down the steps to the city streets below. A walk would be good for you, plenty of time to think and plenty of time to clear your head of those thoughts before you reach your destination.
——————————————————————————
Diary Entry: August 24th
I’m so excited. I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to do something for you.
I know it’s a bit presumptuous, but I think I know you fairly well and if you’re reading those nasty, raunchy books on your bookshelf… well I think it’s safe to say you might be interested in some of it for yourself right? You already think a man in a Ghostface mask with a knife is sexy.
I’m gonna give you what I think you like. I know I will love it. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time but I was always alittle too chicken to do it. Even before we started dating, before you knew about Ghost. It’s been a fantasy of mine that I’ve thought of way more often than I’ll ever admit.
But now I have your unspoken permission, well at least your non-denial of it. Which isn’t technically consent but who cares; it’s been so blurred between us already.
Honestly its super comforting the way that you so vehemently defend our relationship. I’ve never had someone go to bat for me like that before, it’s endearing. It makes me feel cared for, loved, needed.
I know it’s hypocritical, trust me I know that; but it does kind of get on my nerves as well. I want you to say yes and say it enthusiastically to Ghost. At the same time I want you to scream and kick and tell him to fuck off.
Being jealous of both sides of myself is frankly quite exhausting. I don’t know what I want other than you. I just want you. I want you to want both of me and you do, but that’s also a problem.
You think I’m two separate people and that makes me a tad worried.
The only comfort it brings me is that you aren’t enthusiastically saying yes. You’re denying the truth of course, we both know that. But you’re also keeping some loyalty to our relationship and for that I am so eternally grateful.
I love the way you love me even if you haven’t said it aloud just yet. You will soon.
——————————————————————————
Your group of friends were gathered outside the restaurant, as the last one to arrive, you of course received a light dose of good natured insults and chiding.
“There she is!” Your best girl friend Sam yelled, pointing you out to Luke and Han as you walked up the sidewalk.
“Finally! I’m starving!” Luke sighed liked he’d been waiting hours, according to your phone you were still two minutes early.
“Shut up and let’s get some food.” You snorted, pushing him through the door and into the yummy little Thai place.
After getting settled into your cozy corner booth you placed your orders and slipping into the familiar routine of gossiping and story swapping.
“How did meeting the parents go?” Luke asked, propping his chin up on the heel of his hand, his fingers drumming along his cheek.
“It went so smooth and oh my god his mom is so sweet.” You said, leaning forward in your seat.
“I was so worried they wouldn’t like me, but I think they did. Anakin said they did, I mean they really seemed to at least.” You nodded.
“Oh I’m sure they loved you. You’re the perfect girl to bring home to the parents. You’re the whole package.” Sam smiled warmly.
“You’re too sweet, giving me way too much credit.” You sighed, your smile faltering slightly.
“Anyway… yeah his mom was great. I think she was just alittle worried you know? I’m the first girl he’s brought to meet them so I feel like there was a bit of worry there at the beginning.” You explained, talking with your hands.
“She was talking about him as a kid and she just looked so… sad I guess?” You sighed, trying to find a better word to describe it but came up short. “So I think maybe she was just sad about him growing up, finally finding someone he wants to be serious with.”
“That’s so sweet.” Sam said, squeezing your hand. “I didn’t realize you were the first girl he’d brought them.”
“Yeah,” you nodded proudly. “He said he was waiting for the right one.”
“Ew that’s so gross.” Luke gagged.
“Fuck off.” You tossed a good natured insult at him, rolling your eyes despite feeling an immense sense of accomplishment… maybe a hint of guilt there too.
After the meal was finished, you all walked together out of the restaurant and set out on foot toward The Cerulean. A leisurely pace was set by Han and Luke who were happily at the head of the group while you and Sam hung back just a few steps behind.
“So he’s gonna be here tonight?” Sam asked curiously.
“Oh, yeah but he’s working though.” You said.
“Wait really?” She asked in surprise. “That doesn’t bother you?”
“Why would that bother me? If anything it’s comforting.” You scoffed.
“Well he’s like… he’s just there you know? Not participating he’s just gonna be watching.” She made a displeased face.
“Trust me, I have no qualms with being… looked out for.” You smirked.
“So you don’t mind that he’s going to be watching you the whole night?”
“No, I don’t.” You shrugged, walking the through the door as Luke held it open for the two of you to enter.
You broke off from your friends in search of Anakin, you spotted him behind the bar, animatedly speaking with a coworker that you vaguely remember Anakin referring to as ‘Trev’.
It was like you had some sort of homing beacon, Anakin immediately whipped his head toward you and beckoned you over with two fingers. He trotted around the bar to meet you halfway, sliding his arms around your waist to pull you flush against his chest, pressing his lips to the top of your head.
“How was dinner, pretty girl?” He asked, his voice low and smooth.
“It was good!” You chirped, squeezing him tightly again before he let you go. “Told them allllll about meeting your parents.”
“Good things only I hope?” He laughed.
“Of course. Good things only, always.” You nodded with a big smile.
“It’s not nearly as busy in here as usual.” You observed, scanning the large space and noticing a much lower head count than the times you’ve been here before.
“Oh I know,” Anakin nodded, “there’s some kind of opening anniversary for a pub downtown. Free beer or something like that.” He shrugged.
“Huh, well I’ll have to tell Han.” You said.
“Mhm yeah I’m sure he’d enjoy it.” He agreed, “you going too?”
“No, I’m going home when I leave here.” You shook your head.
“Alright baby, listen, I gotta go back.” He nodded toward the bar. “You know where to find me.”
With that he gave you a chaste kiss to the forehead and quickly walked back behind the counter, stealing a drink order right from under Trevor’s nose as he slid in front of him, you heard him snicker and the *thwap* of a towel snapping against his leg in retaliation as you walked back to your friends.
You spotted them off to the corner, Sam speaking with a shorter man you’d never seen before. You snuck behind her with a cheeky grin and tugged a lock of her hair gently as you passed by, she was unfazed, simply giving you a pink cheeked smile.
“Hey Han,” you called out to get his attention as you drew closer, his head following the sound until he saw you. “You know there’s a bar even going on downtown tonight?” You asked, coming to a stop just in front of him.
“Yeah, it’s at The Drunken Horseman.” He nodded, ��I think a few of the guys were headed out there actually. Free beer.”
“W-well why didn’t you go?” You asked in confusion, knowing he wouldn’t have just passed it up for no reason.
“Cause a little lady I know likes it better here.” He grinned, tapping your forehead with his pointer finger.
“Aw, you didn’t have to do that Han.” You said, feeling a bit guilty. “You should’ve said something!”
“Whoa, don’t get all riled up. I don’t mind it at all.” He reassured you. “I can still do plenty of people watching from right here.” He said, knocking his knuckles against the table top he leaned against.
He waved his hand over to the left, your eyes following the gesture until your gaze was met with a younger guy, unapologetically and unsuccessfully trying to speak to a group of girls despite being seemingly incredibly wasted.
“I guess that’s true.” You laughed lightly, the pull of guilt still tugging at your guts.
“Listen, after we’re done here you should go!” You encouraged, “I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get to do something that you wanna do.”
“Babes it’s no big deal.” Luke said, popping out from his seat behind Han’s massive frame. “I think we planned on skipping out a bit early to do exactly that.”
“Really?” You sighed in relief. “Good, I’m glad.”
“We did?” Han asked, looking over his shoulder.
“Uh yes, we had a whole conversation about this yesterday you oaf.” Luke scoffed.
“Oaf?” Han let out a loud, bellowing laugh at Luke’s poor attempt at an insult, making a little smile creep up the corner of your lips as well.
——————————————————————————
You decided collectively to call it a night just a little before 11:00pm so that Luke and Han could still catch Han’s group of friends at The Drunken Horseman. You said your goodbyes to them at the door and turned to face Sam after watching them leave.
“Are you positive you’re okay with walking home alone?” She asked you worriedly, “like absolutely positive?”
“Yes, I’m absolutely positive.” You said with an appreciative smile. “I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I get home.”
“Okay.” She nodded, satisfied with your answer.
“You better do the same.” You said, catching her arm as she started to leave with the man she’d been chatting with all night.
“I will,” she signaled for him to wait while she got up close to whisper to you, “I looked him up when I went to the bathroom earlier. Arrest records and everything.”
“Good.” You grinned. “Have fun then.”
You spun on your heel to find Anakin and tell him goodbye, heading straight to the bar and catching him in another conversation. This time with a female patron that you’d seen before.
“I don’t understand.” She scoffed.
“What don’t you understand?” He scowled.
“I just don’t get why you’re mean to me!” She huffed. “I come in here all the time and I’m always nice to you, yet you’re an ass every time I speak to you!”
“Then stop speaking to me.” He said flatly, pretending to inspect a glass that he was drying.
“I should report you to management.”
“Please do.” Anakin shot back.
“They’ll fire you, for being rude to customers.” She threatened, crossing her arms.
“They’ll ban you, for harassing employees.” He snorted.
“God. You’re ridiculous, I asked you out one time-“
“Yeah and it was one time too many.” He snapped at her.
“I have a beautiful, wonderful, amazing girlfriend.” He said sternly. “She is my everything and you, are nothing.”
“Like she’s-“
“Listen. Even if I didn’t have a girlfriend I wouldn’t go after a whore with loud ass mouth like you.” He snarled. “Leave. I’m banning you myself.”
“You can’t do that!” She yelled
“He can’t do what?” His coworker Trevor came over quickly after hearing her shout at Anakin.
“He- he’s trying to ban me.” She said angrily.
“What did you do?” Trevor asked the girl and looked over at Anakin.
“Nothing! I was just trying to order a drink and he called me a whore!”
“I did call her a whore.” Anakin willingly admitted with zero remorse.
“Wait is this the one?” Trevor asked.
“Yeah, she’s been bugging me, Jason and Stevie for the last few weeks. Comes in every now and again and won’t take a fucking hint from any of us.” Anakin grunted as he glanced over at her.
“That’s not true I w-“
“Nope. That’s enough.” Trevor said, obviously irritated, he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of her.
“Hey you can’t do that!” She shouted trying to grab his phone.
“You’re going on the wall honey.” He said, thumbing over his shoulder at a cork board of banned patrons.
“You’re serious?” She scoffed, “you can’t be serious.”
“Deadly. Now get out.” Trevor barked, following her angry path across the bar to ensure that she did in fact leave.
“Baby?” Anakin’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you realized you’d been standing there with your mouth open as he tapped the underside of your chin.
“Anakin you didn’t tell me it was that bad.” You said, eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at him, now standing in front of you.
“Ah.” He grumbled.
“I didn’t want to worry you sweetheart.” He said softly, taking both your hands in his. “She’s not coming back now so nothin’ to worry yourself over.” He said with a reassuring smile.
“That’s just awful though. She was doing that to three of you?” You asked in disgust.
“Yeah.” He sighed. “Doesn’t happen often. Usually it’s April and Jess who get the creeps but every now and again there’s a girl who does it.”
“How much did you hear baby?” He asked, pushing hair from your face and holding your cheek.
“Just the tail end of it.” You lied.
“You know I’d never even entertain something like that don’t you, princess?” He asked, lines of worry etching into his forehead, “Never, I’d never even breathe in the direction of another woman.”
“I know.” You said with a small smile, you were being truthful. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind about his faithfulness, especially now after witnessing him tear into a girl over it.
“I know I have nothing to worry about.” You said, giving his hands a squeeze.
You might not, but Anakin does. Anakin does have to worry about your faithfulness whether he knows it or not; there’s a Ghost haunting every corner of your life that has no plans on leaving anytime soon.
“Good.” He said with a warm smile, pulling you into a hug. “Are you leaving?” He asked, pulling g back slightly.
“Yeah I’m headed home now.” You nodded.
“Alright pretty girl.” He said, kissing your forehead. “Be good. I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me when you get home?”
“Of course.” You nodded with a big smile that faded as soon as you turned around to leave.
——————————————————————————
“I saw your girl leaving, you headed out now?” Trevor asked Anakin as he was untying his apron.
“Yep, I’m leaving too.” Anakin nodded, folding the apron and tucking it under the counter. “Unless you need me to stay?”
“Thanks for coming in to help out man.” Trevor said, clapping him on the back. “We got it from here.”
“No problem, you know I don’t mind.” Anakin said, grabbing his wallet and keys. “See ya.”
Anakin left hastily stopping at his car in the back parking lot to grab his essentials. He checked his phone and saw that you’d made an unexpected stop at the little corner store for what he assumed was a snack.
“Perfect.” He grinned, tossing his hoodie over his head and switching out his shoes.
He tucked his mask under his arm and hopped into his car, parking it up the road a bit closer to where you were, just to get it out of his work parking lot. He jumped out, locked it and slipped into the nearest alley. He grumbled but hopped the fence at the end and continued down until he hit the opposite street, running parallel to the one you’d be taking.
“One… two… three… four… there.” He mumbled to himself as he passed by alleys between buildings until he found the one he was looking for.
This particular place was perfect for his purposes, no cameras, no foot traffic, no dumpster, a brick wall on one end and a recessed entrance to the building on the left. A building that was currently up for lease, leaving it tenant free. He scaled the short brick wall on his side of the alley, using the dumpster there as a boost.
Anakin’s sneakers hit the pavement with a satisfying noise when he dropped down from above. He tugged on his gloves and mask, hitting the side button on the voice box while he walked up the alleyway, his phone in his hand.
Your little blue dot was quickly approaching and his adrenaline was running high. His body practically vibrating in anticipation of what he was about to do, with your footsteps in audible range he tucked his phone away and bunched up a black handkerchief in the palm of his leather glove.
Your long shadow came into view, the lamppost casting it down on the side walk below. It shortened with each step you took. Seeing no shadow behind you, no other footsteps, Anakin knew it was safe to enact his plan.
The very second you came into view he lunged forward, clapping his hand with the bandanna in it over your mouth. Instinctively you parted your lips to scream, allowing him to shove the fabric in your mouth as he dragged you by waist and under your arms as you kicked and thrashed.
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Part Eleven
Tag-List:
@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwarssmut @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @rorysbrainrott @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco
THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.
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thatfandomslut · 3 months
Text
The Wedding Song
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Regina George x Reader
Word Count: 1k
Trigger Warnings: Regina & Reader are in their 20s, Reader is about to marry someone else, Regina stops the wedding (a bit of Speak Now vibes), steam The Wedding Song by Renee Rapp
Requests:
Valentine's Day / Followers Celebration; Regina George w/ quote 54 and piece of chocolate 8. Or: "Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy.” w/ crushing
This was messy but it's just a silly goofy fic, so I hope you enjoy.
Valentine's / Followers Celebration Requests are closed.
Being (Y/n)'s maid of honor was a bittersweet feeling for Regina. Standing beside (Y/n) during the rehearsal dinner, she felt queasy. In high school, she would have been able to get with whoever she wanted. Now, the person Regina wanted most in the world was about to marry someone else, and Regina felt like her whole world was falling apart. She was happy for (Y/n), and she was happy that (Y/n) trusted and loved her enough to ask her to be her maid of honor out of everyone, but a bigger part of Regina felt sad and hurt that (Y/n) would never feel that way about her.
She always felt like (Y/n) was her world, she set her world on fire. But (Y/n) was standing in front of another person with a giant grin, beaming. Regina felt guilty that she felt all these ways for her. She didn't know if she should approach (Y/n) and tell her just how she felt. What would it even achieve? In the end, there was an even bigger chance that it would tear their friendship apart, and she wasn't sure she could survive in a world without (Y/n). With that said, did the long-lasting stare across the wedding hall mean nothing to (Y/n)? Their eyes were set on each other for so long, and (Y/n) was no longer grinning at her partner, she was grinning at Regina.
"Are you ready to go? It's going to be a long night. I hope you have enough party left in you after this… exhilarating dinner." Regina smirked as (Y/n) approached her. She had just wished her grandparents a good night. She looked beautiful in her white dress. It wasn't her wedding dress, but Regina would marry her in it anyway. She was stunning. Regina cleared her throat to stop herself from looking at the girl in front of her up and down. She couldn't help her eyes. They trailed without thinking of the repercussions if caught. "I think you're going to have a fun night."
(Y/n) beamed up at Regina before hugging her tightly. Regina's eyes widened as she hugged back. "Thank you for being here Regina. I don't think I could do any of this without you." She whispered into Regina's neck, and all of a sudden Regina felt like she could cry. Repressing her feelings, Regina threw on a smile as she rubbed the girl's back. Then, she guided her to the limo that she had her dad pay for in full. She worked for him, therefore; she could still use his money whenever she so pleased. She was going to make sure that (Y/n)'s last night without another's last name attached to hers would be the best night of her life. Maybe, Regina decided, she needed it more than the bride-to-be.
As (Y/n) and Regina sat by each other, despite the rest of the party dancing out on the floor, (Y/n) swirled her drink in the glass she had. Regina's head was getting foggy as the night went on. She wondered if she would remember this in the morning. "Are you doing okay, Regina?" (Y/n) questioned, gently placing her hand on Regina's thigh. That was dangerous territory, and it made the blonde gulp as she looked over to her with a nod. "I was only saying that this whole wedding is weird for me to think about. I just… I hope this doesn't ruin anything between us, but… I always thought we'd be the ones getting married." (Y/n) confessed, though it was obvious she was just as drunk as Regina.
Regina then wondered if she would remember this in the morning either. She wouldn't dare kiss (Y/n). She knew that she was taken, even if (Y/n)'s words made her lips more kissable. "If you were to tell me not to marry them, I wouldn't marry them. I would break it off right now, and I would run away with you. That's fucked though, isn't it?" She wondered out loud. To be honest, it was. But Regina was learning that she didn't care if it was fucked. The girl she had crushed on since their freshman year of college was into her, and she'd be damned if she passed up on this opportunity.
Regina's hands fell onto (Y/n)'s shoulder, and she looked at (Y/n) like the world was ending. "Then do it. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy." Regina practically begged, and (Y/n) looked at her as if she were sobering up. Her brows had furrowed and she stared at Regina for a long moment. She was beginning to give up hope until (Y/n) stood up. There was a new determination in her eyes as she nodded.
"Isn't this fucked up though? What would I say to them? At least let me go to their place." (Y/n) said, feeling dizzy. She didn't know if it was the alcohol or the decision to run away with Regina making her feel so ill. Regina nodded in understanding and maybe it was because she was drunk and in love, too, that she called a cab for them. When they got to the hotel, (Y/n) knocked on the door, and went inside the hotel room. Regina sat outside the room, and she stared at the ugly carpet that was peeling slightly. She felt gross. Partially because of the carpet, and partially because she was having (Y/n) break up with her partner over a drunk conversation.
When (Y/n) emerged, she had a giant smile. "It's over, it can just be us now." Despite how crazy this was, the two girls ran. Just like that, they decided that they would marry each other the next day. (Y/n)'s partner confessed they always knew, and that they would always support her. They agreed to be friends, despite it all. "I will marry you," (Y/n) whispered softly.
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feyascorner · 3 months
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7 | The Fangs Between Us
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summary. “It’s too hard to see. We need to turn back.”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little bit of darkness.”
You scrunch your nose at this, and he merely grins. Before you can say anything, he’s back to pacing across the dirt without a care in the world—almost too fast for your liking. “Will you at least slow down?”
“Shall I hold your hand?”
“I’d rather cut it off.”
“A pity.”
warnings. angst, comfort, slow burn, tav reader is a bard, italics are flashbacks
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
parts. TFBU masterlist
a/n. 6.9k words !!! this chapter took forever but somehow i managed!! thank you so much for your kind words and patience !!! he's kind of a silly guy in the chapter so pls enjoy this peace offering as the calm before a storm
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“Are you sure this is the right course of action? Letting him ascend?” Shadowheart asks as you adjust one of the logs in the campfire, watching the other companions organize their tents from afar. You stop at this, turning to face her.
“It’s what he wants,” you mumble. “I won’t stop him if he’s sure this is the right thing to do.”
You’re still getting used to her hair, which’s now as white as a sheet, but you think it looks lovely against the fire. She seems calmer than she did when she was with Shar. At peace, almost. She casts you a sidelong glance. “Can we really trust his judgment of all people? He’s—I mean, well, him.”
“I know it sounds unreasonable," you say letting yourself sit down beside her on her bedroll. “But I want him to make his own decisions. He’s spent too many years having no choice of his own, and I’d be the worst person to take it away from him again.”
“I just,” her voice softens. “Astarion’s a complicated person, and I’m sure you know better than us. It’s because he couldn’t make his own choices for so long that it makes me think he’s lost his capability to make any choices anymore. Good ones, at least.”
“I trust him.”
“Gods knows how.”
You stifle a laugh, and she sips at her wine, eyes still glazing over the camp. There’s a kind of solemnness to them that makes your stomach churn. “You seem worried.”
“Not worried, per se,” she shrugs. “I just realize that I owe a debt to you for what you did for me against my lad—I mean, Shar. And I myself almost went down that dark path of becoming a Justiciar if it weren’t for you. At the time, I thought it was the best thing for me too, like Astarion believes ascension to be what will set him free.”
You nod patiently, urging her to continue.
“I only fear he might make the wrong choice if he doesn’t have the right guidance as I did.”
The words feel hesitant on her tongue. And although they make the voice in the back of your head, telling you to convince Astarion otherwise, louder, you ignore it, opting to smile at her softly instead. “Is this you caring about our companions?”
“Heavens, no,” she snorts, but there’s a joking tone behind her voice. “But like I said…I’m indebted to you all. Astarion also aided in my personal affairs with Shar, even if he didn’t have to, and even with his incessant complaining…I suppose this is my way of paying him back.”
Your chest warms. It’s soothing to know that even without you, your other companions have enough care for your lover to offer him bits of advice; in a way, it relieves a bit of weight off your shoulders. Even the companions who claim to detest his presence have grown fond of him over the months, and you’re sure it goes both ways. It helps because even if you’re gone, you know he’ll be okay.
“I never told you formally,” she sighs. “But thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me or feel indebted. I just did what I could for you.”
“Don’t be so humble. What you’ve done for me—for all of us—is something we’ll cherish for the rest of our lives,” she takes her last swig from her wine. “But from one messed up person to another, please, be careful.”
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Your wrist feels sore.
Two days. It’s been two days since the incident at the Blushing Mermaid, and still, your body seems to burn whenever you see his closed door across yours from the hall, and all you can do is rub shamefully at the healing puncture wounds on your wrist. The bandages looping around the skin do a good enough job of hiding them, but you genuinely wish you could just ask Shadowheart to heal them for you because being able to see them does little to help with the constant thoughts of the vampire muddling the clarity of your mind. 
But you’d rather not let your companions know what happened between you and the vampire on the dirtied floors of the Blushing Mermaid. You’d likely die of shame for letting him drink from you, even after your mutual agreement to specifically avoid just that. What’s worse is that you expect the worst from Lae’zel, especially after her explicit advice to do the exact opposite of what you chose to do.
You tighten the bandages again.
“Did those yourself, did you?”Alfira snorts, and you almost have half a mind to glare at her if it weren’t for the crumpled sheets of paper surrounding the legs of her chair. The ink on the discarded pages now blends into mush as they lie in the puddles forming around her—an aftermath of the recent rainy weather. You don’t tell her, though. She seems frustrated enough as it is, and you fear she might snap a string of her lute if this prolongs any longer. “How’d you get hurt anyway?”
“It’s a bug bite.”
“A rather massive bug, apparently.”
The corners of your lips quirk downward, and she finally sets her lute aside, careful to avoid the puddles as she props it against the side of her stool to focus on her notepad instead. Though most of its pages have now been torn out, the remaining few have scribbles of song lyrics that even you can’t decipher with how messily the ink splatters across the page. She, however, seems perfectly fine reading its contents aside from her glaringly obvious distaste for the words themselves. You raise your brow. “Can you really read that?”
“Oh, hush. Don’t insult my penmanship.”
You snicker, eyes continuing to scan the sheets of paper that had been abandoned on Dalyria’s desk at the Blushing Mermaid. It’d taken quite some time to take apart the pages plastered on the wall and to organize the mountain of doctor’s notes lying across the lair, but you’d managed to fish out something useful eventually. The journal was one that seemed especially important, filled to the brim with Dalyria’s so-called ‘research.’ 
But if the past few days have told you anything, it’s that Dalyria is a terrible note-taker.
The pages are filled with shapes. Some are curved, and others just bend and contort into odd figures that you’re sure aren’t supposed to look like letters. Each page studies a different shape on a random part of the page, leaving them scattered and difficult to decipher.
You’re starting to think this is just some odd attempt at art rather than the studies she claims to be performing.
“And? Why are you here if you’re not here to look at those lyrics I gave you?”
“I’m trying to figure out what this journal says,” you sigh, flipping another page you don’t understand. “And if you couldn’t tell, I’m rather busy trying to find the people responsible for murders around the city, so excuse me if I haven’t had the time to glance at your song.”
“I’m plenty busy myself, you know! I just got hired to sing at this fancy party for some celebration. They even said I could dress all nice for it,” she smiles proudly, and you offer her a crooked one of your own. “It’s my first serious gig—so I’m a bit nervous with how large it is…”
“How’d you land something like that before you’ve even played at children’s birthday parties?”
“Well, I’m not doing it alone, obviously,” she reasons, scratching something on her pages again. “I’m going with one of my friends. She’s a wonderful violinist, and she managed to squeeze me into the event, which I’m so grateful for…I suppose I’m just a bit worried.”
You look up from Dalyria’s notebook. “Worried? What for?”
“That my fingers will lock up, and I’ll humiliate myself,” she admits sheepishly, tucking a portion of her hair behind her sharp ear. “Lihala used to call me silly for worrying about things that haven’t happened–but I can’t help it. It’s the before-show jitters. Pesky things. It’s a bit embarrassing, really.”
Humming in acknowledgment, you look to the murky skies overhead, where dark clouds threaten to pour down for at least another few days. A shame, you think. You’ve never seen the Summers of Baldur’s Gate feel so dreary.
It’s fitting, almost, considering the state that the city is in.
The painful sound of quill scratching against paper is all you can hear now as Alfira sighs irritably again, ripping out another sheet of paper.
“It’s not embarrassing,” you finally say.
She blinks up from her notepad. “What is?”
“Being nervous. I’ve done more performances than I can count, and my hands would still get clammy in front of a big crowd,” you laugh to yourself. “But when you see how they watch you as if you’re performing sorcery with your lute, it’s like you were never anxious in the first place. The audience is what makes it bearable.”
“Gods, I hope you’re right,” she smiles fondly as you continue to reminisce in your own memories. “It’s a rather shame we never got to perform together. Not after the last time we played at the Grove–and I don’t even count that occasion with how unstable my voice was…”
“I can watch if you’d like,” you offer. “Your performance, I mean.”
Her eyes gleam with excitement, and she reaches to clasp both your hands, beaming brightly. “Will you? I’m sure if you’re there, it’ll ease my nerves, too!-”
As you shift in your seat to follow your hands, Dalyria’s notebook slips off your lap. The simple splash beneath you tells you all you need to know as your eyes shoot down to where the notebook now lies face down into a puddle, and you don’t even have to lift it to know that its pages are soaked.
But you don’t have to pick it up yourself because Alfira’s carefully holding it in an instant, her face pale as she fans her hand in a fruitless attempt to prevent the damage already done. “Dammit, I’ve done it again! I’m truly sorry…I didn’t mean for that to happen! But I’m sure if we just put it in the sunlight for a few days, it’ll–”
You gently take it from her hands, shaking your head. Perhaps it’s because you were just deep into memories you hold dear to your heart, but there isn’t an ounce of panic in your voice. “It’s fine. I wasn’t getting anywhere with this thing anyway.”
“Still…”
The pages stick together in chunks as you flip the journal towards the pages that are at least half dry. You fear they might tear off at the slightest touch, so all you can do is stare at a page you deem to be soaking up the ink from the pages behind it. Alfira groans into her hands, and before you can spare her a glance to remind her it’s alright, you spot something in the middle of the page.
“Holy shit,” you whisper so quietly she doesn’t catch it.
“I’ll grab us a wind scroll. Or maybe that’s too strong? Surely there’s some spell that can dry off books.”
“You have no idea what you’ve just done for me, Alfira,” you blurt, already halfway to stuffing the journal into your pack. She blinks up at you with weary eyes, but you quickly clamber off the stool with no time to offer an explanation. “Let me know when the performance is. I’ll be here next week as usual.”
“Don’t you want me to dry off the pages?”
“No,” you shake your head, your heart pounding. “I need to show this to the others.”
She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. Still, as you rush toward the stairs leading to the city streets, she calls after you.
“Don’t forget to look at the lyrics!”
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“Runes? As in the ones carved into Astarion’s back?”
“I thought they were random blots of ink, but,” you raise the notebook in your hands, and the soaked pages now show the contents of the following sheets, blending to form a larger image. The placement of the shapes were not random at all, and you internally apologize for calling Dalyria a few less-than-kind words in your mind. “They’re not. They’re parts of the runes that Cazador tried to use for the ritual. There are six sets of runes in here, and each one’s slightly altered.”
“But what purpose does that serve?” Shadowheart cocks a brow, eyeing the page questionably with crossed arms. “Cazador’s dead. There’s no ascension to be done.”
“Unfortunately, just because that haunting man is gone doesn’t mean the threat of an ascension is either.” Intrigued but clearly disturbed, Gale takes the notebook and squints at what it holds. “Cazador himself never needed to be the one to execute the ascension.”
The room goes silent, leaving an uncomfortable tension in the air that keeps you from moving. You’re not sure how many seconds pass before you hear the figure who’s been awfully quiet the past half an hour mutter something under his breath from the comfy armchair beside the fireplace.
Astarion clicks his tongue, seemingly unfazed. “Ah, I see.”
The fists at your side clench tighter. The bandages feel impossibly tight all of a sudden.
“It’s for the ascension, clearly. There’s no other plausible explanation,” his eyes remain glued to the flickering flames, swirling a chalice of wine in his hand. He doesn’t sip from it, knowing that it tastes of nothing but vinegar on his undead tongue, so why he’s poured himself a glass, you don’t understand. You also can’t be bothered to ask. “Perhaps they plan to enact it. Take a piece of all that power for themselves.”
“But they can’t do the ascension,” Shadowheart frowns, turning to you. “You said there’s only six runes in there. They don’t have the last one to enact the ascension because Astarion’s with us. Cazador’s the only one who could have done it because he’s the only one who knows what each of the runes looks like. Without Astarion’s, they can’t—”
“They wanted him,” you whisper the confession, and you swear your voice nearly cracks. “They wanted Astarion. That’s why they wanted to speak with me.”
All three of your companions whip their heads to you, and you stare down at the ground. Shame burns through you, and you can practically feel the disappointment radiating off them as it dawns on you that you lied to them. You lied to your closest companions for the sake of saving yourself the embarrassment that no matter what you do, no matter what you tell yourself, your subconscious forces you to care for the bloody vampire sitting beside the fireplace. Despite the many eyes on you, you can only feel one crimson pair that bore into you like the sun beating down on a hot summer’s day.
Even now, he’s your biggest concern, and you hate yourself for it.
“Then it’s not Astarion they need,” Gale says breathlessly. “They need the marks on his back.”
“And you didn’t tell us this, why?” Shadowheart hisses. “You said they just tried to kill you!”
You blurt. “They did! They said they’d stop killing citizens if I just tossed Astarion over to them, but when I said no, they completely flipped and–”
“You declined that deal?” Lae’zel snarls, and you unwillingly flinch at the venom in her tone. “You swore, istik. You swore you wouldn't be foolish if it came down to you or him.”
The words feel like a knife to your throat.
“Well, obviously, it worked out,” you grumble, ignoring how Lae’zel’s eyes are narrowed dangerously. No doubt, she has questions of her own that she’ll demand answers to later. “If I handed him over, they would’ve had the last key to conducting the ascension.”
“You still lied to us,” Shadowheart steps toward you, but Gale quickly clears his throat.
“I know how deceived we all feel, but must we fight? What matters is the spawns can’t conduct the ascension as of now, correct?” he attempts to calm her down, but her scowl only grows deeper. “As disappointed as we all are, we must admit that keeping Astarion here is the right decision.”
“You’re too hasty, wizard,” Lae’zel snaps. “A vampire’s ascension would mean ridding of all the other spawn wreaking havoc in the city. We mustn’t throw away a chance being offered without considering it.”
Shadowheart is immediately on her feet, her eyebrows furrowing. “Don’t be an idiot–a few thousand spawn is better than a nearly impenetrable being capable of creating even more spawn. That’s asking for just as bad as we are now–maybe even worse.”
They break into a simultaneous debate, one in which two room occupants do not take part. Because even as you try to focus on what the others are saying, all you can feel is the unsettling stare of the spawn in the corner of the room, his hand still swirling the wine. You wonder if his wrist ever gets tired. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of returning his stare, but you watch him from the corner of your eye as his attention shifts to your wrist.
“Are we even sure this is what they’re planning? Do a few drawings prove that they want to go through with this ritual, again, after what it nearly did to them?” Shadowheart’s attention darts to you. “This ritual would kill them. Why in the hells would all of them agree to do it if it only means one would come out alive?”
You open your mouth to respond, but nothing comes out in return. The hurt embedded into her expression is so glaringly apparent that it makes your chest squeeze uncomfortably, and all you can do is look away in shame. “...I don’t know.”
Her face hardens. “Do you? Or are you just lying to us again?”
Cheeks flaring, you shake your head. “I’m not lying, I swear it.”
Her eyes flicker with something you don’t recognize before they flit to your bandaged arm and then back to your eyes. She doesn’t miss how you try to move your arm behind you. A miscalculation on your part since your attempt at hiding it makes your secret that much more obvious. “Then what are those for? You’ve had them on since you returned from the Blushing Mermaid, and you refuse to let me heal you myself. Just what did you get injured from?”
The room is so silent you can hear your own heartbeat.
“I–” you stop, wavering. “There was a—”
Shadowheart clenches her jaw. “Don’t lie. Please.”
But still, no words are willing to leave your throat. 
Your companions await words from you that do not exist. Like a deer in headlights, you stand numbly, unsure what to do. Fortunately, and also unfortunately, before long, Lae’zel has had enough of waiting, and she begins to march toward you in a way that makes you step away.
“Give me your arm,” she demands. “If you cannot say, then show us.”
You can feel all the blood draining from your face as she draws closer. But even Gale cannot hinder her this time because everyone in the room knows what she’s capable of with that blade attached to her hip, and she’s not against wasting a few potions of healing if she has to barrel her way through. You brace yourself for the inevitable, teeth gritting together.
Just as she reaches for your arm, someone else snatches it away.
“I drank from them,” Astarion says as you bump slightly into his chest, eyes wide at his pale fingers wrapped around your wrist. He yanks the edge of the bandage down with his free hand and lifts it for the others to see. The two puncture wounds, where the skin that surrounds it is darker than the rest, make you feel naked under the eyes of others. It’s too vulnerable. Too mortifying.
Your heart hammers pathetically, and whether it’s from the expressions of your companions or the hand wrapped around the sensitive skin of your wrist, you’re not sure. You hope it’s not the latter.
Gale’s jaw drops. “We agreed that this was the one thing you wouldn’t do.” 
“If I hadn’t, I would’ve perished,” the vampire retorts in response, releasing his hold on your arm as it falls back to your side. The place where his hand had been tinges under your skin. “And there weren’t exactly a few boars lying around the damn city for me to feed on.”
You notice he fails to mention there had been more than enough bodies to satiate him, but you keep your mouth shut.
The hurt on Shadowheart’s face is no longer one that throbs your sympathy. Instead, she seems to burn with something you haven’t seen in ages.
Anger.
Her palm flickers with radiant light, and Astarion immediately flinches, hissing as he moves to hide his body behind yours. In your haste, you can’t think of anything to do besides stepping toward her, holding out your hands. Astarion releases a strained laugh from behind you. “Now, Shadowheart, let’s not do anything hilarious, shall we?”
“I’ll kill you,” she growls maliciously, the glow of her palm growing brighter. “Like I should have done the second you came back to ruin everything we’ve done without you.”
You cautiously approach her, focus never leaving her eyes despite the danger festering in her hands. “You shouldn’t, Shadowheart.”
She throws daggers in your direction with just her expression, and you can’t deny how helpless you feel. “Killing him would end all of this. If we buried him somewhere, they’d never find the runes. They’d never be able to follow through with the ascension, and we won’t have to deal with his pompous ass anymore.”
You hate that she’s right. You hate that even though she’s right, you can’t agree with her methods.
“I know he’s—not exactly a friend—but he was once. And I know you considered him one as well,” you insist, inching closer. The hesitance in her motions as you come too close to the radiant light is undeniable. “I don’t want you to bear the guilt of his death.”
Because as much as you’re wrapped up in a world of your own–a world where you fight to hate the man behind you–you know that your companions feel the same way. The sentiments gathered from months of sharing the same camp, months of saving one another from multiple deaths, and months of aiding one another overcome their own pasts don’t just disappear. You know what they shared. Being the most similar amongst your companions, forced under the influence of a power they did not want to be subjected to, you know they considered themselves friends, even if they never voiced it out loud.
You know that deep down, Shadowheart’s hatred for Astarion stems from her own feeling of betrayal when he tried to kill you. When he attempted to harm the only other person who guided her to a path outside of Shar.
“Trust me, I won’t feel guilty,” she finally forces out. “You’re a fool to trust him again.”
“I don’t trust him,” you reassure her, your hands finally reaching hers as they dim and eventually vanish all traces of magic. “But if he’s to die for nearly killing me, I want it to be under my hands. Don’t sully your own for my sake when you’ve just escaped all the bloodshed.”
Shadowheart’s brows soften, but her face turns cold. Thoughts seem to run through her mind like an endless train before she decides that thinking through each one is worth more than Astarion himself is worth. She inhales deeply and nods, allowing you to finally release her hands. She shoots the others one last glance before turning to retreat upstairs.
You’re left in a pitiful silence—one that nobody in the room dares to break.
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An entire day is spent with you wallowing in your shame, refusing to get out of bed.
You hope this is just a terrible nightmare, but you know better. If this were a nightmare, you’d already be dead.
You only climb out of your covers when you have to change the bandages on your wrist. It’s a painful process now since you don’t even want to look at the puncture wounds anymore, but it’s better than risking it to get infected. A knock on your door makes you stand from your bed, kicking the bandage rolls under your bed. “It’s open.”
You expect Gale or even Lae’zel, but you’re met with piercing red eyes. You contemplate begging him to leave you alone because looking at him right now only conjures up the guilt that’s been eating away at you for hours now. Instead, you build that wall between the two of you again, your face hardening. “What do you want?”
He’s never come to you willingly before. Not unless you were positively drenched in blood, and he had no choice but to follow his instincts for what he hopes to be a meal other than stale boar blood. Much less approached you in your own room.
Astarion lifts the empty glass bottle in his hand. “A charming welcome, as usual, I see.”
“You just had a full supply yesterday,” you say, brows furrowing. “I checked it myself.”
“Clearly, now I don’t,” he shrugs, and when you shoot him an intense glare, he frowns. “You can’t possibly blame me. I haven’t exerted myself as I did at that dirty tavern since the last time I had that damn parasite swimming around my head. So, unless you decide to offer yourself to me, again…”
You think he’s genuinely lost his mind. “Right now? Seriously? After what just happened yesterday, you want to ask me for blood?”
“Just a suggestion, darling. Otherwise, we always have the other option, as boring as it is.”
Perhaps you should just toss him to Lae’zel and call it a day.
Groaning in exasperation, you march past him, slapping a cloak into his chest. “There’s 15 minutes to sunset.”
He laughs, but it only makes your face turn sour.
The forest isn’t far off from the main square of Rivington. And by the time you reach it, the sun has long gone down, and you watch as Astarion takes off the hood of his cloak, breathing deeply in the moon's bask. And as he glances back at you, you don’t bother trying to walk side by side, remaining on guard and surveying his every move from three steps behind. He comments on it even though you think he doesn’t care for what you do. “I don’t bite, you know.”
“You’re not funny.” He snorts at your deadpan and continues into the deeper parts of the forest.
The entire time, your eyes remained glued to the backs of his heels, palms growing increasingly clammy as you become surrounded by nothing but the soft ambiance of the woods. His steps are as silent as they’ve always been, and it feels like following a ghost into the darkest parts of the forest. It’s becoming hard to see more than a few feet in front of you, and if your training with Lae’zel has taught you anything, you know that you don’t want to be at a disadvantage—especially when the other party is a bloody vampire.
You halt in your tracks. He does, too, turning to shoot you a questioning look. “What is it?”
“It’s too hard to see. We need to turn back.”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little bit of darkness.”
You scrunch your nose at this, and he merely grins. Before you can say anything, he’s back to pacing across the dirt without a care in the world—almost too fast for your liking. “Will you at least slow down?”
“Shall I hold your hand?”
“I’d rather cut it off.”
“A pity.”
You curse his long legs as the forest becomes darker and darker, even as each time you think it can’t possibly get worse than this. You swear his steps become quicker, and a part of you wonders if this is where he attempts to run away and whether you should cast a sleep spell before he succeeds. But the most rational part of you reminds yourself that he’s had plenty of chances to escape. Hells, he could do it even now, considering how much more easily his eyes adjust to the darkness than you.
“Astarion, I swear to the Gods above, if you don’t stop walking so quickly…”
This time, you don’t get an answer.
Suspicions rising, you break into a jog and then into a gradual sprint. Every time you think you finally caught up to him, a branch whips into your face, and you barely manage to swat it away before it manages to cut your skin. You call his name a few times to no avail, and you genuinely begin to ponder if you should’ve brought your scroll for daylight.
Finally, you stumble through a tall berry bush into what you assume to be another branch.
And rather than more darkness, you’re met with a clearing. It’s only a few long strides in width and a couple more in length, but here, it doesn’t seem like nighttime at all. The moon peers down at you in all its glory, and you think this might’ve been Selune’s pocket of the forest if she were here. You blink wide when a speck of light—a firefly—flies barely past your face. And suddenly, you’re surrounded by light rising from the green grass beneath you in fragile wings. 
The tightness in your chest dissipates, if only for a moment.
Only once you’ve taken in the vast difference of your surroundings just a few moments prior do you see Astarion pulling off the clasp of his cloak. He tosses it to you, and it lands on your face before you yank it away with a scowl. “You could have just handed it to me–”
“Stay here,” he says. “I’ll return when I’ve finished hunting.”
You gawk at him. “I’m not going to let you just leave.”
“I’ve proven myself plenty,” he scoffs. “If I remember correctly, you would’ve likely perished were I not there at that tavern a few days ago. And I must remind you that I do have quite the memory. If I planned on betraying you, I would’ve done it then—at a more fashionable time.”
You don’t have much of a rebuttal to that.
While you could bring up the dozens of other times he’s made questionable decisions pertaining to his loyalty, the soothing bath under the moon’s gaze seems to calm you down. So, instead of fighting the internal urge to continue your petty quips, you drop the cloak beneath you. He cocks a brow, surely expecting more of a protest, but you just swallow your pride, plopping down on the grass with a huff. “If you don’t return in 30 minutes, I’m coming to find you.”
“40 minutes,” he tries. “30 minutes isn’t nearly enough time for anything fun.”
You scowl. “20 minutes.”
Astarion smiles wickedly just enough for his fangs to peek beneath his top lip. “Very well. I’ll expect you no later than that.”
And like a predator fading into his natural environment, he vanishes into the darkness.
Time passes slowly when all you can do is pick at pieces of grass. As beautiful as the clearing is, it’s a bit too soothing—enough to make you doze off as you lean against the trunk of a tree. Though you attempt to keep your eyes open, reminding yourself you have a responsibility to uphold, you haven’t had this sense of relaxation in ages. Especially now, in your home with an atmosphere thicker than the butter you use on your bread. It’s almost like a spell as you feel your heavy eyelids droop helplessly.
You pray you don’t dream tonight. Not when you know all you’ll think of is the betrayal you inflicted on your companions.
A rustle of leaves snaps you back awake.
And when you look up, you see two blood-red eyes staring down at you from the branches of the tree opposite of yours.
They look exactly like the spawn in the alleyway, practically a month ago now. The same ones that haunt your nightmares and the same ones that morph into your ex-lover in the ones you despise the most. And while you can’t see their face, you don’t need much more than that to break into action.
Immediately, you’re snatching the cloak and sprinting back into the forest's darkness. You don’t care about the branches flinging themselves at you anymore because you can barely breathe even without worrying about them. Twigs and thin branches flail across your cheeks as you practically barrel through the woods, your legs feeling like they could give up if you were ever to stop running. With only the cloak in one hand and a dagger in the other, you don’t even attempt to fight whoever this person is upfront–you learned your lesson well the last time you tried. So, instead, your boots crunch against whatever plants are being crushed beneath you as you frantically run from the creature chasing you.
The worst part is you can still hear leaves rustling behind you.
Your lungs hurt. Your head hurts. Everything hurts, and yet you cannot stop. You hope the forest itself swallows you whole at this point, especially as you hear the movements getting closer and closer.
Tripping over a particularly large root, you fall through a bush, bracing for impact as you curse everyone you can think of for your luck. But rather than your shoulder crashing into a pile of dirt and twigs, you plant face-first into what feels like…cloth?
“Eager little thing, aren’t you? If you wanted to touch me, you could have just asked,” Astarion teases and you instantly tear yourself away, pushing your palms against his chest with wide eyes. And as much as you hate to admit it, a flood of relief hits you. And as much as it shouldn’t, meeting his gaze makes you able to breathe again.
Gods, what is wrong with you?
“There’s something chasing me,” you say hurriedly, pointing in the direction behind you. “I think it’s another spawn, I saw his eyes–”
His face stills when you practically jump at the bushes moving in ways the wind cannot will it to. Your arm flies to push him in front of you in case something were to leap out, and while you’re sure he’d complain dramatically about this gesture on any other occasion, he’s too busy worrying about what lies behind the bush. His hand shoots to what you assume to be that blasted comb he takes everywhere while you grip your knife, and you hear both your breaths hitch when something lunges out of the shrub.
It’s a small, puny squirrel.
Astarion doesn’t even try to stifle the laugh that escapes him as he throws his head back.
“I swear there was something following me!” you hiss, slapping his arm while the squirrel scurries away back to wherever it came from. He doesn’t stop, having little care about how your face flushes with embarrassment, and instead seems to revel in it. The bastard is enjoying this.
You wish you could throw the damn squirrel at his head.
“Oh, yes, I do believe there was,” he’s barely fazed while you continue glaring daggers at him. “I’m impressed you survived an encounter with such a terrifying foe, my dear.”
“It was definitely following me...” your voice trails off, and the bloodlust that had overwhelmed your lungs is fading away, leaving nothing but the sound of Astarion and his annoyingly loud laughter. 
He stops when there’s a shrill scream from across the forest. One that wails in what is unmistakenly of excruciating pain.
The two of you slowly turn to one another, and a knowing gleam flashes behind his eyes.
“Darling, the smart decision here would be to leave–”
But you’re already rushing toward whoever this victim is, forcing him to groan loudly and trail after you, snatching up your cloak from the ground in the process. You feel him close behind as you practically fly through the forest, with little care of how exhausted you were just moments before as the screams of pain seem to fuel your determination to lend aid. 
Astarion, although displeased, only grumbles as he continues to follow your lead. “Is it necessary to be heroic now of all times? In a dark forest where there’s sure to be animals twice our size?”
You ignore him.
A leaf slaps into your face as you finally reach what’s now been reduced to soft sobs. And you’re not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t someone you knew.
“Berry?” you blink at the small girl, who you’re sure can barely even see you with how teary her eyes are. She watches you wearily before she gasps in recognition, and it’s then that you realize that her arm is bleeding.
“Tav!”
“You’re hurt,” you’re kneeling beside her in an instant, assessing her wounds as you reach to dig around your pockets in hopes of any medical supplies you might’ve left in there. “Did something attack you?”
“Yes,” she winces as you lift her arm to inspect it closer. “I’m not sure what it was, but it came out of nowhere, and they—-they tried to bite me.”
A lump forms in your throat. As twisted as it is, you're relieved you weren't actually imagining what you saw earlier. “Did you see if they had fangs? Did they look like a regular person?”
“I think so,” she replies in a hushed voice, wiping her tears. “I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do when it–”
A hand grabs her by the back of her cloak, yanking her in the air with her legs dangling helplessly as Astarion holds her just high enough to render attempts to kick at him useless. “I’d normally entertain tasteless tricks like this, but I’m in a less than forgiving mood, I’m afraid. You’ve cut into the time I have to fill my own stomach.”
You gasp, jumping to your feet. “Astarion, what the actual hells are you doing?”
“Trust me, you’ll thank me later, darling,” he sneers at the girl, hissing at him aimlessly. “Show them, you little imp.”
Having no idea what’s going on, you decide the best thing to do is de-escalate whatever misunderstanding he’s had about the poor girl tied to his hand. “You’ll hurt her. Just let her go and explain what’s going on.”
“Show them,” he pronounces each word harshly, glaring at Berry. 
And finally, she tries to bite at his hand. This prompts her to unhinge her jaw just enough for you to see the glint of sharp teeth. Ones that do not certainly belong to an innocent orphan.
Were you always this unlucky, or was the past month just a living hell for you?
“See what I mean? You can offer your thanks to me later, darling,” Astarion smiles proudly, and if you knew him any less than you did, you’d think he’s psychotic for smiling like that in this situation. But then, again, maybe he is. “How you seem to attract so many of us is beyond me, but I believe we should refrain from keeping this one alive.”
Your jaw drops. As much as you feel appalled that the innocent girl you’ve been soothing over the death of her adoptive father for the past few weeks turned out to be one of the very creatures that nearly took your life (on multiple occasions), you can’t fathom the idea of just ridding of her. She’s still a kid—at least, to the naked eye. “Are you insane? No, we’re not killing her!”
“Gods, please don’t tell me you’ll try and make this brat see sense. She’s practically feral! Look at her!” he grits through his teeth, waving his free hand to the girl in question, who’s too busy trying to snap her teeth at him. “This thing doesn’t deserve your sympathy right now.”
Berry manages to catch the tip of his finger in her teeth, and Astarion lets out a string of curses as he drops her to the dirt. It doesn’t even take another second for her to lunge toward you, fangs bared and claws ready to sink into your flesh. You barely manage to swerve out of the way, her sharp nail grazing past your cheek.
“Berry, just listen to me! I don’t want to hurt you!” you practically yell, but she only stumbles on the ground a moment before rushing at you again. You reach for your dagger, fearing you may have to use it on a child until she’s snatched into the air again.
This time, Astarion hangs her by the cloak onto a tree branch, where she screams and grasps at the air, practically throwing a tantrum.
You gawk in utter disbelief; too many things are happening simultaneously.
And Astarion doesn’t help as he slips out the damn comb again, grinning from ear to ear. You notice that this time, he seems to have taken the time to sharpen the tips of the teeth, which nearly look akin to a row of needles. 
He holds the comb in Berry’s direction. “Well? Shall I do the honors?”
As you watch him threaten a child who also happens to be a vampire, you ponder that maybe you should have just handed him over to Dalyria when you had the chance.
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amoxxii · 26 days
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"Pernicious Present" Pt.1
Feyd Rautha x Suk Doctor! Reader
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Summary: The greatest gift from Emperor Shaddam to House Harkonnen is a ticking time bomb wrapped neatly in a ribbon. Warning: Death, Blood, Torture part 2 (I've never read Dune. This is written based purely on the movie and a quick search.) "What a dull knife," you comment. Feyd has just slashed through his servants moments ago. "Since when did I allow you to speak?" The Na-Baron growls as he sharply turns to face your display of intrusive thoughts. It would be a death wish to anger him right after he had exhibited his rage. But to you, it is just another move in your scheme.
You know that Feyd doesn't have the power to kill you, not yet. All the tears you had wept and sweat you had shed through the Suk School were not wasted. The position: Baron Vladimir Harkonnen's personal Suk Doctor is what keeps your head on your shoulders. Reminiscing, the road to this status has been nothing like a flowery path. The school was hellish, and the exam was arduous, but nothing came close to gaining the Baron's trust.
Since you were sent to Giedi Prime as a gift from the Imperial, Baron Harkonnen had suspected you greatly. His Highness has started to view you in a better light when you dedicated yourself to cease the epidemic in Geidi Prime. There was a terrible spread of the black plague, stemming from rotten corpses to grass to trees to livestock. All had come to a stop because of your findings. Burning the dead with flame has been a custom ever since. It was clear that you possessed the qualities of intelligence, diligence, and efficiency. But what remained in the dark was your trustworthiness. So, he put you to the test by making you screen his food to detect any trace of malice, hoping your true nature would be revealed. The first few feasts were fine, intended to lower your guard. He then made Feyd bring out Safran Şerbeti. The cordial was undoubtedly spiked with venom as instructed by the Baron. The Baron suggested that you could waive the inspection of the gift brought by his nephew, as he wished to avoid straining the connection by revealing any distrust. But just from the sniff, you could tell that the drink was laced. You whispered to the Baron, 'Please do not take this drink, my lord.' Lord Harkonnen chuckled loudly. He beamed, 'Are you suspecting my heir? You must be out of your mind.' The Na-Baron added, 'Is this one of your dog's little tricks, uncle?' Feyd quirked to the Baron. 'Do you want to savor my uncle's exquisite food that much?' Feyd mocked with a baby voice. 'Don't touch that goblet, I beg of you,' you pleaded, ignoring Feyd's scoffing. The Baron shrugged you off, stretching his hand to fetch the golden liquid. You frantically snatched the chalice. 'Ha! Even your tail is wagging! This dog really wants to have a taste!' Feyd rubbed the salt to your wound. 'You left me no choice, my lord,' you surrendered. 'I will prove it to you that the lovely nephew of yours meant to take your life.' You drowned the whole goblet in one go. Consciousness left your body as the grail rolled on the floor. The world of black and white turned to a muddy grey. The Baron clapped, impressed by your devotion. You cleared all the rightful skepticism by putting your life before his and saving him. Once the Baron's trust was secured, your plan began.
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wandaslittlelove · 1 month
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Destined Part 1
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Warnings for this chapter: None?
Series Masterlist
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I sighed as I heard a loud knock on my front door. Grabbing the bag of flour I made my way to the door assuming it was just my neighbor Marcy wanting some for baking again. The girl never seemed to have any and always came over for mine which I didn’t mind. I just started buying more when I would go to the store. 
“Marcy hun you should really just-” I froze as I saw Strange on the other side of the door and a young girl stood next to him.
“y/n nice to see you.” He spoke. With a sigh I sat the flour down on the small table by the door before inviting them in.
“Tea?” I asked while making my way into the kitchen as they both followed after me. The young girl politely nodded her head and took a seat at the island along with Strange who sat a very old looking book down on the countertop.
It was silent for a minute. The only sound being me getting down three mugs and the teapot whistling on the stove. 
I sat the tea in front of the two along with some sugar as I took to standing across from them.
“What do you need Strange?” My tone came out more bitter than I wanted it to but I couldn’t help it. After I left what remained of the Avengers I had hoped I would never have to see his face or any of theirs ever again. That's why I moved to Ohio so that I would be away from the never ending drama that is New York and to be close to my sister's grave.
“I- We need your help. This Is America Chavez. She’s able to travel the multiverse.” With those words I choked on my tea.
“The multiverse?” I questioned not trusting my ears to have heard the right thing.
“Yes. You know about it?” He asks as he and the girl, America, looked at each other.
“Vision often talked of his theories during movie nights” The word Vision seemed to make me scowl remembering how he got the life with the person I had loved. The person who was supposed to be my wife. 
“You said Wanda said the same thing” This was the first time the girl had spoken and the way she said Wanda had made your whole body shiver. It was as if she was scared of the woman.
“You spoke to her?” I hadn’t heard anything of her since that night I left. I expected to at least see something about her on the news but she never came up. 
“Yeah. She’s after me. She’s been sending these weird creatures after me to take my powers.” America explained as she fiddled with the mug.
“She has the dark hold y/n” The words caused me to stiffen. I had only heard of the dark hold a few times while I was studying with Strange but I knew it was nothing good. It was described as the book of the damned and anyone who touched it became corrupted. “I need your help in protecting America. Yours and Wanda’s magic are almost complete opposites. While hers is chaos magic while yours is Order magic.” The two shared another look as if they both knew something I didn’t. I watched as Strange opened the book he had brought and flipped to a page. “With the help of the darkhold Wanda has become the Scarlet Witch. Everything anyone had ever known about her is written in this book like a prophecy.” I nodded as I listened to his words. “It also speaks of yours.” He slides the book over to me and setting my tea down I quickly read the page he had opened to. 
The Scarlet Witch bringer of chaos and the White Fawn bringer of life and creation:
The Scarlet Witch is not born; she is forged. She has no coven or need for incantation. Her power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme. It is her destiny to destroy the world. 
The White Fawn is the opposite of the chaos bringer. She is born to counteract the actions of the Scarlet Witch. Her destiny is to heal the wounds, love, and calm the Chaos Witch.
My eyes scanned the page three more times before I slammed the book shut. I watched as America jumped in her seat and I sent her an apologetic smile as I slid the book back to Strange. 
“That can’t be right or it can’t be me. Wanda does not love me. I will not let my destiny be what is written in some book. What is she even after in the multiverse?” My question seemed to keep Strange quiet for a moment before he spoke.
“You”
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Tag List: @alexawynters @username23345 @casquinhaa @idontknow-llol
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sixxteenbullets · 11 months
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HIDDEN AWAY-
Saw smth the other day and I can't stop thinking about it.
Pairing: Henry Bowers x fem!innocent!reader
Warnings: u and Henry getting walked in on by Patrick, being watched doin yk, swearing, sexual themes.
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HENRY Bowers had a girl that was the opposite of him. She was a kind, sweet soul and he wanted to keep her that way. He knew exactly who he was and who his friends were, so to keep up with his goal, he needed her to stay away from his friends. The issue sounded easy to defeat, if his friends were normal.
Two boys, Belch and Vic, he trusted enough to stay away from her. After all, they weren't really ever interested in defying Henry. Though, Patrick was a piece of work. As much as he loved innocence, he loved pushing limits. He was tall, obsessed with pyro, and a sadist to the bone. That was exactly the kind of person Henry needed his girl to stay away from. Someone who could tear away her joy, make her sad and scared, and strip her of her kindness, turning her timid and quiet. He'd seen her that way once, during a bad fight, and he swore to keep her from those feelings for as long as he could. Only he could break her down.
"Hey Hen," Y/n smiled at him, her white teeth shining as bright as ever. "You called."
"Old man ain't gonna be home tonight," He pushed himself off of his bed and sauntered over to her. "Was thinking you could stay?"
She didn't have an ideal home life, either. She wasn't beat, like Henry, and she still had both of her parents, but they were mean. Driven by religion, the girl didn't get to choose her own path very often, and a lot of her decisions were made for her. That was part of why she kept her innocence. There was nothing she could do to break it.
"Yeah, totally." She walked closer to him, meeting him in the middle of his room, and wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms looked around her waist and they were pulled flush against each other. As their lips met, a bubbly giggle escaped her throat and she smiled against his mouth. His face remained straight, but the sound of her giddiness woke such a fierce happiness within him, it was hard to keep from giggling back at her.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" A mere whisper, barely audible. His eyes widened slightly as they met the ones that stared up at him. She never spoke like this. It was just a simple question, but there was a passion behind her words that she never had before. They had been dating for a month, and she typically pushed away his sexual advances, so when she made her own, he knew this was not something to pass up.
His hands ever so slightly lowered on her waist, resting on the peak of her butt. When she put up no objections, they lowered and he gave a small squeeze, which triggered another giggle. Just as he was about to say something suggestive, her lips crashed into his open mouth, and their tongues danced in harmony for a minute before he pulled away for a breath.
Her head leaned up to follow him, objecting to the end of their kiss, but she soon realized her own lack of breath. "What are you doing?"
"I want you." There was absolutely no sign of hesitation in her voice. Every bit of every word dripped with a lust that sounded foreign on her tongue. "Every inch."
He had heard enough. He had been waiting for over a month to hear her ask for him. To finally give herself to him.
Every fiber of his being itched to go fast, to shove her onto his bed and hear her screams as she cried his name. To hear the innocence dissolve from her voice, and only a sinful, whimpering cry would be left. But he didn't think she would like that just yet, so he willed his body to go slow, to pace himself and be gentle as he stole something sacred from her.
"I want you to be rough. Show me every side of you tonight. The good the bad and the parts you never let anyone see. You can have my body if I can have your soul." She always did that. Talk in poetic speeches, using grammer he's completely stranger to. And he loved it just as much as he loved seeing the passion in her eyes as every word spoke it's truth.
They were on the bed in no time, and her request rang through his ears. She wanted everything. And he would give her his life if he could.
Two shirts were thrown on the floor, one pair of pants, and one pair of shorts. Two half naked bodies desperately grinded into each other, craving release from the heat in their cores. Legs intertwined just as fingers did and the two eventually became one. One drawn out moan, one long kiss, one burning desire.
There was something artistic about the way two humans behaved in times of desperation. The way she would whimper and gasp when a particularly sensitive part of her body was touched, and he would see this and use it to his advantage. The way his mouth would open in a silent moan as she rubbed against him, creating a friction they'd never get enough of. Even with underwear on, they behaved wildly, leaving no room for any matter to interfere.
Somewhere in their passion, a door, forgotten to be locked, creaked open to reveal a few rather shocked faces. Not shocked to see their friend with a girl, but shocked to see him with a girl such as Y/n. Especially shocked that a girl like her didn't wear little pink cotton panties, but adorned a black lace thong instead.
The bigger male and the blond turned away, obviously not wanting to get their asses beat for the intrusion. But Patrick stayed for a minute. His eyes traced every inch of her body, and once he had seen enough, a low whistle escaped him.
The two on the bed jumped, and just as quickly as she threw herself down, he had an arm around her and held her close. She stayed pressed against her boyfriend, trying to hide her flushed face and body from the mischievous boy who stood watching her.
"When your done having your fun, why don't ya' let me take her for a ride?" A sickening laugh faded into a room with three emotions only. Arousal, fear, and pure fucking rage. That arousal faded from Patrick when he saw the expression that adorned his friend's face.
"Get the fuck out of here, Hockstetter, or I'll kill you right here." There was a malice in Henry's voice that he'd never heard before. A spark in his eye, a snarl in his lip, and a clenched fist that showed truth in every word he spoke.
If Patrick didn't stop staring at Henry's girl, he would be a dead man and a tortured soul.
So he ducked out of the room and approached the two other members of their gang, shaken and annoyed, completely unwilling to tell the story of the scariest moment of his life.
Henry considered chasing after his friend, showing him how absolutely enraged he felt that his angel felt unsafe. But once he thought back to her, and felt her shivering from his arms, she was his main priority. He pulled her flush against him, not sexually anymore, just possessively. His arms encircled her and she wanted to completely fade into him.
Sobs racked her body. She'd heard horror stories of the boy and his disgusting acts on not only girls, but just others in general. So, when he said he wanted to take her for a ride, terror crept throughout every crevice of her body. Not only did she fear him, but she was absolutely humiliated. Another boy has seen her half naked, not to mention the vulnerable situation she was in.
After a second of silence, she was able to make out a few muffle words against his chest. "Please don't let him take me."
"No one will ever touch you. You're mine, and he knows that now. I'm gonna keep you hidden away from all that shit."
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rafesapologist · 5 months
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the set up — rafe cameron; part nine
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𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.
warnings: swearing, some angst
author's note: hi my loves. so terribly sorry for the extensive wait it took for this chapter to be released, between school starting and things going on in my personal life taking an abundance of my time, it has been difficult to sit down and make the time to write. with each chapter, i always want to curate a piece that you all will enjoy n i never want to give you guys something half-assed. anywho, i have seen and read all ur comments about updating this series i promise, ur requests have not been ignored! thank u for being patient <3
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The car ride to the chateau was quiet and tense. Your eyes stayed glued to the window, rather than looking at Rafe, who you instinctively knew was pondering a thousand reasons as to why you had a sudden shift in your demeanor. At some point, he had placed a gentle hand onto the top of your thigh, but much to his dismay, you shifted your legs towards the passenger door. His brows furrowed at your reaction, confused as to why you were rejecting his touch as though you weren't just begging for it merely an hour ago.
You hated being so callous towards him, especially without giving him an explanation as to why you were exactly, but you knew it was for the best. Your loyalty still belonged to the Pogues.
"We're here." Rafe blurted out rather dryly as the car came to a halt. With the lack of sound from the tires moving or the engine running, the atmosphere became even more unpleasant than it was prior. Your eyes shifted from the window to your lap while you fiddled with your thumbs in an attempt to form a sentence before parting ways with the boy sitting next to you, who happened to be surveying your every movement, unable to come to a conclusion about what was happening in your mind.
"Hey, I'm sorry if what we did made you uncomfortable or was too much. I don't want to overstep your boundaries or anything." He coughed, scratching the back of his head as a subtle display of his nerves taking over.
"No, it's okay," you shook your head, eyes staying locked onto your hands, "It's not that I promise. I just - Forgot I had something to do tonight and it hit me last minute." The little white lie you chose to go with was minor and meaningless, yet you felt an immense guilt at the pit of your stomach for the deception you were fronting right before Rafe's solemn face.
"Oh," Rafe sighed as he nodded, "okay yeah, that's alright. Well in that case, I guess I'll see you later. Maybe we can go out sometime this week." He flashed you a weak smile, with partial intent to try and ease the tension in the air, and another to try and convince himself that things between you two were okay and that you weren't pushing him away all of the sudden.
"Yeah, maybe so, Cameron." You replied with a forced smile that went unnoticed by Rafe, nodding quickly as you hoped to brush his comment under the rug for the time being. "Thanks for driving me, by the way. I appreciate it." You thanked him, a conciliatory approach to your final goodbye in hopes that it would clear Rafe's wondering mind of any doubt between the two of you.
"Of course."
You pushed aside your incentive for a short second as you leaned across the seat, placing a gentle kiss onto the blond's cheek, a small residue of your strawberry chapstick temporarily tattooed onto his skin. He soaked up every bit of it.
"See you later, Rafe." You breathed quietly against the side of his face as you backed away, taking in one last glance of the stunned boy as his eyes fluttered back open, just before hopping on out the car and trailing up the steps of the chateau. You made sure to turn around and wave to Rafe one last time before entering, a signal to assure him that you were safe and that he could finally drive off.
"Y/n? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with-" You cut Kiara's prying short as you were in desperate need to relay your newfound information amongst your friends.
"Rafe and Ward are shipping out the gold tonight, like literally within the next thirty minutes." You blurted out frantically.
"Wait, what? Are you sure?" John B questioned, his eyes wide with disbelief.
"Pretty damn sure, considering he just told me about it. That's why I came here as soon as I found out," You stated in urgency, "we don't have much time before it happens. He's heading to meet his dad right now."
"We gotta go." Pope interjected immediately, an unfamiliar sterness in his tone.
"And do what, Pope? How are we supposed to stop them with no plan ahead of time? Kiara asked, raising an appropriate question to the matter. The news came so last minute that none of you really had time to digest what was happening, let alone come up with an elaborate plan to stop something that had been in the works for weeks prior.
"We'll find a way. We always do." JJ spoke up as he rose confidently from the couch, which in turn earned an eye roll from you at his gesture and stupidity.
"Don't be naive, JJ. We can't just magically stop Rafe and Ward, especially since you know they probably have backup here to keep anyone from getting in their way." You spat back in annoyance while the grudge you held against JJ from the day before lingered in the forefront of your mind, causing everyone to look between you and JJ in confusion.
"Right.." Kiara interjected, attempting to cut the tension that was heating up in the room amongst two of her closest friends, "Well, if none of us have any solutions then what can we do." She huffed, her face ridden with apprehension.
"Actually, I might have an idea." You heard the voice of Sarah Cameron join in on the conversation, eliciting everyone in the room to turn their heads in the direction of the blonde Pogue.
"It might be a longshot, but, why don't we just distract Rafe and Ward, and the rest of us go in during the meantime and get the gold before they realize?"
"Who would be doing the distracting?" Pope Inquired with his arms crossed, hesitation at the forefront of his demeanor, yet there was still a hint of agreeance that became evident by his curiosity.
"Well, y/n can call up Rafe, pretend there's an emergency or something. While she's doing that I'll go meet up with my dad, then you guys can go in and do what you need to do. We can at least hold them off for a bit, it should give you guys enough time." Sarah proposed the calculated scheme. It wasn't a bad one, far from it actually, but part of you hated it at the same time. You weren't too fond of the idea of lying to Rafe for the second time in a row, all within a 24 hour time span. It made you feel peccant and iniquitous, which went against everything you stood for morally, but you had to look at the bigger picture and push aside your guilt for the moment. This wasn't about you, it was about doing what's right for your friends and defending them. After all, you were their biggest hope.
"Alright, I'll do it. But I can't promise I can hold him off for long, he seemed pretty eager to get there to meet Ward." You heaved.
"That's okay, we should only need a few minutes." Pope nodded, a smile peaking through at the corners of his mouth, his eyes glimmering with a newfound sense of hope in them.
"Thank you, y/n. We couldn't do this without you." You were taken by surprise with the embrace of your sanguine confidant, who held onto you like you had just given him the world. Your body relaxed in his arms as you hugged him back, giving him the assurance that you were going to do your best to help him in whatever way you possibly could.
"I should probably call Rafe then, I don't want to waste anymore time than we've already lost." You stated, pulling back from your friend. Pope responded with a head nod as he gestured you away.
You flashed your friends a small, insincere smile as you walked off into one of the bedroom of the chateau. Your heart raced at what you were about to do, worrying that if Rafe senses any ounce of deception it'll all blow up in your face, or worse, he'll lose all trust in you.
You took in one last deep breath as you unlocked your phone and went straight to your contacts, scrolling until you found Rafe's name. Your finger hovered shakily over the 'call' button as you stared at it for a few seconds, wondering what you were even going to say to him. Your eyes wandered around the room as you tried to ground yourself for a moment, bracing for whatever was to come for you and your friends. You didn't want to do this, but what other choice did you have? This wasn't about you, this wasn't about what your feelings or what you felt was right or wrong. It was about the people you cared about the most, and in that moment, they needed you greatly.
You allowed yourself to fall back into the mattress, letting your body sink deeper into the foam as you gazed at the ceiling in deep thought. You could hear the sound of the front door opening and closing in the living room, alerting you that your friends had left, leaving you to do your part of the deal.
"Y/n? Is everything okay? I thought you'd be asleep by now."
"I'm not okay right now, Rafe. I need you."
taglist (sorry if i missed anyone, please let me know if you'd like to be on it!): @ellesalazar, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d, @gillybear17, @oiiviagrande, @hockeybabe87, @augustlikesdeath, @wpdailyminimeta, @palmwinemami, @loxleys-blog, @ikisscline, @flyestvenustrap, @ilovesteveharrngton
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merrycrisis-if · 2 months
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So I just want to say that I'm definitely not a suspicious person sending you a suspicious link - suspicious people wouldn't say that outright, right? I just tried to send an ask, hit the character limit, then tried to send a message, and uh, hit the character limit again. Haha. Anyway, here's what Qiu has done to me: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hcQ_-WQ635cSrgWtEWX1gz7Xv9GbzopT_A5MpvRZA64/edit?usp=sharing
THIS MESSAGE IS THE BOMB!!! I love that you created a google doc just to gush about / psychoanalyse Qiu because of Tumblr asks's character limit, that's so hilarious and amazing!!
OK, now to reply to the message :D
[Re: Qiu] ...They're NOT EVEN AN ADULT YET. It's easy to say "just give up on the only structure you've known all your life because it's toxic" but reality is not always kind; even ignoring any kind of emotional support (which we unfortunately don't really get to see one way or another. Maybe Qiu would have been better off just running off and taking a leap of faith and relying on MC but it's not wrong to feel that the unknown is far more terrifying than the known and there was no way for them to know that choosing MC would have been better. The love of her parents - in whatever form, whether or not it's actually love, is what Qiu has known for most of their life - is a constant as long as they meet expectations.
Exactly, this!! Like, we first meet Qiu when they're still very much finding themselves / figuring out what they want in life. It's definitely a 'coming-of-age' story for them — as much as it is for MC. So their relationship with MC takes place at a point where, like you mentioned, they are still a teen(!) and their parents' expectations and (conditional) love is all that they know. It's never easy to distinguish between what one's own desires, dreams etc. are, and what's simply fed to us by society, by the people we trust/care about (in Qiu's case, it's their parents).
So I think one of the greatest joys of writing Qiu (and their relationship with MC) is acknowledging the imperfection, the growth, and their initial failure to 'do right' by each other back in high school (and the potential to re-visit that and make different choices the second time around).
There are probably bits of “it would be entirely way too selfish of me to ask MC to give up on their opportunity and stay”, among other things, but I’d like to think that feelings of “I don’t deserve to ask this of MC” are also there... Asking or hoping for Qiu to ask them to stay - I get it, I really do, but there’s also a part of me that feels like god DAMN if that isn’t fair, putting the choice on Qiu... Just as Qiu could have stood up for MC, could have shouted their love for MC from the rooftops, could have asked MC to stay; MC could have CHOSEN to stay, could have CHOSEN to prioritize their relationship with Qiu. Could have written emails, snail mail, video calls, flew back for visits, could have given long distance a shot. Maybe it was just the wrong time, wrong place. Maybe back then, neither of them could have made those choices, said those things.
And you bring this up beautifully here, where I think I was really interested in portraying MC's hurt (from MC's perspective) regarding the way Qiu never fought for them, even when they were so ready to throw it all away for Qiu — but then also slowly unpeel the layers of Qiu's perspective as well, i.e. that MC expected grand gestures from Qiu, but truth is, reality was tugging them in opposite directions, and perhaps Qiu did fail to jump off a cliff the way MC wanted them to, but they both failed to try to figure out a more mundane, less grandiose way of keeping in touch, staying in each other's lives etc.
MC back then had been seeing things in a very 'black and white', 'you do or you die' kind of way (as most 'first love' stories go), but I think now that they've had years to mature / grow, there's space for both MC and Qiu to appreciate the nuances of what had happened between them, how things fell apart etc. and acknowledge that in some ways, they were each incapable of doing the things they needed from each other, but nobody was truly at fault.
Again, thanks for the lovely message <3
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witchthewriter · 30 days
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𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!
Warnings: knife flirting, a bit nsfw but not much
ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ
ISTJ
Gryffindor
Lawful Good
Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, Libra Rising
𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿
・You were enemies, you were supposed to be enemies.
・But fate (always) has other plans.
・Your first interaction wasn't the normal law vs outlaw situation
・It was like James couldn't breathe; your eyes, there was something so ... invigorating about them. They drew him in. Words became difficult.
・But when you pulled a weapon, he snapped back into his normal self.
・With his sword pressed against your neck, your smirked and in a flash, twirled and slipped out a hidden dagger. With the sharp knife pressed against his throat, you both subconciously agreed never to hurt one another. Even if you were sworn enemies.
"What's your name?" James said sternly. The height difference made it harder to keep your dagger pressed to his skin.
"Oh, wig, wouldn't you like to know?" And then you lightly bit his ear and disappeared.
・A shiver went down his spine.
・And he hoped no one saw the interaction, because now he was smiling.
・When you were apart, time felt like it was going by too quickly. James was yearning for you, his heart thudding whenever he thought about you.
・After running into each other three separate times, being away from you was too much to bear.
・When you were together, time stopped.
・Eyes looking into eyes. Hands caressing the smallest part of bare skin. Both of you were breathless.
・But you had to keep this from your crew. From the rest of the pirate community.
・If they knew you were together with someone from the law, no one would trust you.
・Your nickname for him is 'wig,' since he always wears that awful powdered white wig. You've told him how terrible it is, but he sees it as another badge for his status.
・Being together means you become more open-minded. You see things from each other's point of views.
・You love the way he becomes so flustered when you whisper in his ear. He always thanks the good god in heaven that he's wearing sleeves because goosebumps erupt as well.
・When he whispered, "I love you," for the first time, you couldn't breathe. This wasn't supposed to go so far. But it did. It has.
・You sat up as thoughts flooded your head.
・Could you ever get married? Would either of you even want to quit your life for the other?
・You looked back at James, who was sprawled in the sheets. His ugly wig discarded, no uniform to be found.
・All you wanted to do was stay in his arms. But your crew could only stay drunk for so long. And you had to get back to them.
・One thing you did know, was that his love would last.
・But your life wasn't ready to change just yet; so you both got dressed, kissed each other goodbye and ... walked away.
・As he had slipped a piece of parchment in your clothes. It read, "forever."
𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔
Literal Angel (James) x Smooth Devil (You)
Soft for exactly one person (You) x Is that one person (James)
"Do you love me or do you love chaos?" (You) x "Yes" (James)
𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆
The true Enemies to Lovers
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈(s)
Wands Into The Earth by James Newton Howard
First Kiss by Howard Shore
You Can't Catch Me Now by Olivia Rodrigo
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anyoldfandom · 3 months
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I just had. A devastating realization.
In episode 3, when Six says "In our line of work, we need to be careful. People we pull into this life, they can too easily get caught in the crossfire."
And that always stood out to me bc it feels pretty personal, but we don't actually know who he's talking about. Not Holiday - she was in Providence before they met. Not One, he brought Six willingly into the life, and people don't really turn due to exposure with EVOs, so Six wouldn't have "pulled" him into anything. Maybe White getting bleached, but that was more a result of his own actions.
I always kind of thought it was a character we never met, an ambigous "someone" that died in his past, but on a rewatch today, it clicked that while Rex was talking about Circe...Six was talking about Rex.
Six brought Rex to Providence when he could've brought him anywhere else. Providence would've believed the robot destroyed - they did believe the robot was destroyed. Thry definitwly had no reason to link it to this kid. But Six brought this child, this EVO, to a place where he had earlier that day watched them kill another EVOfor research, where they had other human EVOs explicitly caged to deconstruct. He took Rex into the lion's den to show Holiday, and Rex had no idea. Six could've been more careful, and taken Holiday to see Rex instead.
But he was emotional. He was tired from seeing One suffer, tired of killing people and monsters, tired of fighting an endless war. It's very possible that working for Providence is what turned Six from that shitty, cocky guy he was 20 years ago into the tired soldier he was when he met Rex. He saw hope, an opportunity to save people, to save his father and bring hope to the only other person who seemed to care about EVOs beyond killing them.
And for that, Rex suffered. White suffered. Six watched the man he loved be forced into an office and the child and hope he wanted to protect fall under Providence's grasp. He pulled Rex into the life because he wasn't careful, denied him any semblance, any opportunity of a normal life. Six became Rex's protector, but he can't protect Rex from the very thing he pulled him into - the mistake he made because he let hope and desperation drive him.
And...it also makes me wonder. Do you think he feels he doesn't deserve Rex? Do you think his heart drops when Rex jumps headfitst into danger? When he sees the kid hurt on the field, or pushing himself past his limits to save people - do you think Six feels guilty he's in that situation? If he'd been just a little smarter, this child wouldn't be suffering. More people overall would be hurt, sure - but the child he cares about, the child who made him into a better man, would be safe. It's a selfish thought from a man who has only known the selfish life of a mercenary for so long, a man we see selfishly cling to hope with One's suffering.
And part of me wonders if that's part of the reason why he trusts Rex, but he tries to play it by the rules first at the beginning of the show. Thay beyond just protecting Rex, he feels responsible for this current danger Rex is in, and that the best he can do is protect Rex as much as he can, to take the brunt of the consequences of Rex's rebellion and stunts on himself.
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wondrousmay · 16 days
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SPYxFAMILY CODE: White movie review (spoilers ahead)
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I finally have some time to gather my thoughts so here’s my belated review of the movie!
I had a really good time! I did my best to avoid spoilers and my efforts paid off. A lot of scenes would lose some emotional impact if I had knew about it beforehand. I think one important thing to keep in mind is how the movie is essentially a filler movie (an original story that is not from the manga) so the status quo of the main plot in the manga can’t be changed too much. The movie aimed to appeal to fans of the manga, anime-only and for new fans so some of the plot points might feel repetitive. I personally didn’t mind it since the movie had its own interpretations of events.
Major spoilers under read more!
I did think the plot was the weakest aspect of the movie. The incident that kickstarted the plot was how the higher ups at WISE wanted to replace Twilight’s role in Operation Strix. However, no explanation was given on how the replacement would actually work. I know this isn’t important in the grand scheme of the story but it did bother me a lot lol. I didn’t mind the Eden cooking competition though because it gave us the excuse for the Forgers go on a family trip. The villains were also pretty weak (writing-wise). They were quirky and served their purpose as obstacles for the Forgers but they weren’t compelling as the characters in the manga in my opinion.
The movie biggest’s strength is the focus on the Forgers (individually and together as a family). Each member of the Forgers got the chance to shine in their own way. Personal highlight for me was Yor. She’s my favourite character and the movie emphasized her importance in the Forger family. She is irreplaceable to both Loid and Anya and it made me really emotional to see how far she has come. Of course, she still has insecurities of being replaced but this is just a small part of her character.
While Yor’s fight scenes with Type-F was really hype-worthy, my favourite scene with Yor is a simple conversation between her and Loid. It was when she told Loid that they should all go with him to find the last ingredient together and explained to him that Anya was probably feeling lonely and wanted to be with him and the family since they came on this trip together. I can’t remember what she said exactly because the subtitles were quick but it was a really emotional scene and the fact that Loid listened to her meant a lot to me.
I also liked how the movie handled Loid’s character. The writing did a good job of balancing Twilight the spy and Loid the father. Twilight’s priority was to show progress for Operation Strix because he didn’t trust another agent to handle the mission. We saw his dedication to find the ingredients for Anya’s cooking competition but in doing so, he neglected his family during the trip. I really liked seeing this kind of conflict. Anya called him out on it and Yor had to convince him that Anya was being lonely too. It was a very interesting character journey for him. I loved that he didn’t hesitate to rescue Anya too.
My favourite Loid scene was his reunion with Anya! Loid figured out that the reason Anya ran away was because she went searching for the last ingredient (the syrup/wine thingy) but we never found out what he was actually thinking despite Anya reading his mind. We only see his fond smile and Anya having a happy expression. I really liked this kind of open-ended scene because it feels really personal and intimate for the characters.
The other instance where this happened was after Twiyor’s Ferris wheel scene. Anya read both of her parents’ minds after they cleared up the misunderstanding but we didn’t get to know what they were thinking. Just that Anya was happy about it. Again, I liked that their thoughts are kept private and open to interpretation.
Another favourite scene was the one where Loid, Anya and Yor were reunited after Anya was rescued! It was very touching and emotional! I also loved when Yor and Anya came to help Loid with the steering wheel to steer the airship away from the city. The aftermath of this scene (Yor asking Loid how he knew to pilot the ship) reinforces my theory that both Loid and Yor know that the other is hiding something/is more than what they say they are but they decided not to think too much about it.
Another little scene I want to mention is Yor and Anya playing together when they got to their hotel room. The way Anya’s expression lit up when Yor played along with her was too adorable for words!!!
I guess I should also mention the poop god scene lol. This sequence gave me secondhand embarrassment but it got so much laughter from the audience though. It felt like it went on forever too.
Since the main focus of the movie is the Forgers, the supporting characters do show up but they didn’t have any major scenes. The production value of the movie was fantastic. The aerial scenes and Yor’s fight scene with Type-F were the highlights for me! It was also wonderful to see the Forgers on the big screen!
Overall, I do recommend this movie to both old and new fans of SxF! I can guarantee that you will fall in love with the Forger family even more!
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boyfhee · 1 year
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⌕ TAKE TWO ━━ 13 : unauthorized investigation
PRECIS. while riki constantly assured you that him being an idol under a different label wouldn't be an issue in your relationship, you start getting second thoughts when fans start shipping him with his co-mc at music bank.
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w. angst, miya ( bbg deserves her own warning )
wc. 1.23k
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“i didn’t expect you to actually come,” miya chuckles, a menacing grin dancing on her lips with unclear intentions masking her eyes. there’s not much you can decipher about her, except that she’s here for nothing more than your boyfriend. “do you not trust your boyfriend? do you think he’s actually hiding something from you?” 
you watch her skim through the menu as if this is supposed to be some friends’ day out, her characteristic smile never leaving her face even for a second. perhaps, it’s the smile that has people wrapped around her, or maybe more. you’re here to fight for what belongs to you in the first place, but one look at miya, and you’re thinking of all the reasons you could lose from her. you aren’t the type to think of the worst possible scenarios before trying, but something about her has you counting your other options. 
what if she actually succeeds in whatever she’s planning? 
what if riki loves her and not you?
what if. . . and what ifs are all that have been plaguing your mind ever since you received her text. her presence isn’t one to stand out but her words weigh down your shoulders. the truth about riki, you might never know. maybe, it’s part of a bigger plan, maybe she’s simply messing with you. you don’t know, you would never. miya, in herself, is sort of a mystery, and you hate how she makes you question everything you’ve been confident about. 
“no, i’m just here to see how pathetic you can get,” but you have a dignity to maintain, a look to deliver that you aren’t half bothered by her silly tricks, even if it’s a white lie. 
“you’ve really painted me as the villain in your eyes, haven’t you?” you wonder if she’s trying to incite you, to make you lose your cool. her words are of less importance, almost none, for she’s asking questions she already knows the answers too. she tried to break up your relationship with riki, took every opportunity to ruin things between the two of you and create doubts. so yes, if you consider these things, a villain is not even close to how you see her. 
“i don’t want someone who doesn’t want me, but if there’s even a little chance that he does, i’m not backing off,” it’s an apology and a challenge in the same sentence. as if, she’s sorry that you’re about to lose your relationship, but riki is worth fighting and so, she’s not going to apologise for being the reason why your relationship is falling apart. “besides, i can’t control who i fall for, now, can i?” 
“of course,” you reach the conclusion that she’s trying to buy time, to annoy you enough that it leaves you with few options, one of them being giving up. it’s smart, you would say, because throwing around the blame and playing the victim card, if done correctly, tends to turn situations in your favour. her eyes still travel back and forth between you and the menu— it doesn’t seem like she’s planning on ordering anything. and in the end, there’s no truth, all lies, and one benefit of doubt.   
“yn, i’m not an enemy,” her voice goes soft, eyes looking at you as if you’re supposed to be on her team. “i’m your friend. i’m just another person in love, just like you. i’m really hoping you’d understand,” and there’s a certain tone in her voice; pride, pity— desire.   
it’s a shame how you failed to recognise it at once. 
“understand what, that it’s okay to ruin someone’s relationship? or that, everything is fair as long as you get what you want, even if it means ruining someone’s career?” there are a thousand reasons why riki could choose her over you, and a million reasons why he wouldn’t. one could be so blindly in love to even forget what’s good and bad, or right and wrong, but god, not riki, not him. you’ve known him for over ten years, dated for three, and there’s only one thing about him that you’re sure of— music. you would find yourself wondering how life would’ve been if you had never chosen this field, but not him. riki has one dream, to make music, and his second, you, or so you believe.  
“now, when did i do that?” and miya goes again, pretending to be the innocent one in his unauthorised interrogation. you know she’s in the wrong, but the look in her eyes and the confidence dancing on the tips of her fingers push you towards fear. she isn’t half as astute as you, but she came prepared. as if she had played this conversation in her head weeks ago before fixing her target and sharpening her moves. 
“oh, i know you paid the media to post pictures of you and riki to provoke us. even his instagram, it was impossible to track it and find the pictures since it’s a private account that has been inactive for years,” you say as a matter of fact, “you think you’re the smart one here but it really doesn’t take a scientist to catch up to your cheap moves,” 
at first, you thought of it as a coincidence— the media finding riki’s account, an article about dating while referring to a picture taken months ago— but the more you think about it, the less it comes off as just a coincidence. in fact, things fell into place better when you imagined miya behind every single thing that has happened lately. it would make more sense to claim that she tipped off journalists to post articles about her and riki everytime the rumours seemed to disappear, just to make sure the fans stayed interested in whatever hypothesis she was trying to prove. she planned it out, has been doing so for months probably, and you would give her the credit of being incredibly clever and impossibly crazy; the more intelligent, the less sane. 
“oh, okay, i did that,” she shrugs nonchalantly, as if her actions don’t concern her anymore. the lack of remorse and the abundance of everything else on her face is making your palms sweat, afraid that the next moment, your boyfriend would be slipping through the cracks of your hands and you wouldn’t be able to hold him. “but yn, do you really think i’m the only one who wants this?” 
“what do you mean?” there’s a stern look in her eyes. her words are firm, she sounds a little too certain for your comfort. maybe, she’s just a really good liar, maybe you’re reading too much into her actions. maybe, it’s something you’ve created inside your head and it will go away when you wake up. just maybe, those are the words you decide to hold onto. 
“you’ve been doubting me since day one, convinced that i’m trying to steal your boyfriend, but what if it’s the other way round?” she leans on the table, you’re hoping her words won’t gesture towards what you’ve been fearing the most. “what if riki made the first move?” and miya knows it’s a blatant lie, but no amount of apologies from riki could bury her words deep enough to never unravel. 
after all, she just had to sow the seeds of doubt and let them do their job. 
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bonesandthebees · 2 months
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Okay fuck it. I think scrolling for hours today is enough DJFKGKFK I'll just log back out. I wanna focus my energy on more positive things
Im so gonna log back in the minute my friend sends me another tweet but HDKGKGKD no. I will do my best. He's not worth our time man.
Okay one more tiny rant about him and then I promise I'll stop I just OOOHHMYGODHFJGKG HE JUST. I had so much hope. That. He would reply and it wouldn't fix things, I wouldn't go back to watching him or anything but at the very least I could get closure that like? Maybe his closer friends would be able to heal and move on? Idk if that's parasocial or whatever but he was such a big role model for me the past few years I really had hope that at least some parts of it were real, you know? And instead we just find out that he not only did these shitty things but didn't fucking learn and did it to other people too and??? It's really really upsetting that he created this safe space, this community of people who were all so lovely while just being. Fake. The whole time. And he doesn't even have the gull to properly apologise and I just??#?# idk what to do with my emotions LMFAO I'd finally started to feel better and like move on but now today I'm just angry again grgrgfhfjdkdk and I totally get that like him being a complete dickhead is easier in a lot of ways bc there's no. Doubting it. Or anything. Like there's no redeeming him. And we can get closure from that. But fuckkk it hurts so badly and the tl is a mess of ppl being like "well this person would never do me wrong" and then ppl being like "fuck every YouTuber ever actually. We can't ever be sure we know them" and LIKE!$?_?$?
Dude I am so conflicted on so many levels rn I feel like my entire world has just been yeeted into the sun LMFAODKFKFKFK
Anyways. Anyways. Thank you bee. Ur tumblr is the only account w a brain rn fr lmfaodjfkfkfks
I get it, I'm fucking furious at him. he had a chance to at least own up to what he did. I wouldn't have gone back to consuming his content, but I could be somewhat at peace knowing he was taking steps towards being better.
I don't want to think it was all a lie, because abusers aren't all completely evil people. the thing is, wilbur is human. a very shitty human, but human nonetheless. and we can't know for sure how healthy or unhealthy every relationship in his life has ever been and I think overanalyzing that or trying to figure out what was fake and what was real isn't really our business or worth our time. wilbur is a guy who has hurt a lot of people, but also refuses to recognize the hurt he's caused. that's it.
I do hate the dichotomy I'm seeing between people trying to prop up their own favorite white boys on a pedestal because apparently people never learn, but also going out and saying every content creator is inherently evil and we shouldn't trust any of them. these people are human. they're all going to fuck up at some point, some worse than others. and sometimes they'll fuck up in a way that they can move past and we can forgive them for, and other times they'll fuck up in a way that shows they shouldn't have the platform they have. they're not all terrible, and they're not all perfect. that's what we should be keeping in mind for the future.
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anxious-witch · 3 months
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Part two of me analyzing Damon Baker's photoshoot, this time, Kris' pictures.
As in the first post, this is my subjective opinion, you don't have to agree with me. Text under the cut, because this one is going to be REALLY long
Edit: I should have posted this one yesterday and Bojan's today but alas. Bojan will probably get another post for additional pictures at soke point today or tomorrow
So, starting off strong
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Right from the get go, we get very unconventional way to portray a man. Damon clearly loves playing with gender roles, which showcases here by putting a headscarf and makeup on Kris. Interestingly, Kris is not looking into the camera here. He is being observed, but is not observing back just yet, as if letting us get used to this way of seeing him.
Another thing that I find interesting about this picture is how he appears almost messy? His hair is messy as well, the only thing the only peace of clothing we see him wear here is the headscarf. Like "look at me, I am naked exceot for this. Onserve it and feel it". It makes me recall that interview where he said he was called a girl a lot when he was younger and before he cut his hair. It's like here, he, it's a callback to that and this time, he is impassive to the reaction. He is simply letting himself be observed.
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I think these two, are meant to focus on making Kris come to terms with the fact that he is allowed to be vulnerable. He is not in his full confidence yet, in the bigger picture he is once again, not looking into the camera, and his pose doesn't look entirely comfortable. His arm is bend in a way that looks more like he is hiding his hand than that he is using it to lean on something. His shirt is partially unbuttoned and we see a bit of his necklace, but we can't see the heart on it.
In the smaller picture, he looks more natural. As if he was caught mid-movement while talking, his gaze focused on the the person he is talking to. His pose is more masculine here as well, in comparison. His chin is up and he is taking up more space.
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This one is so good. Kris has his arms wrapped around himself, but not completely and he isn't tense. It gives off a sense of someone doing something out if their comfort zone, but still trusting the person to not let him get hurt in such a vulnerable position. Much more comfortable position than the two pictures above, as if he is slowly relaxing into his role.
Perhaps an even more open show of vulnerability, Kris is looking directly into the camera, his eyes half lidded, as he is about to fall asleep, lulled in a sense if safety.
His legs and feet are bare, he is only wearing his underwear and a light white shirt. There is no makeup here, either, all that is shown here is Kris, in a almost childlike manner, especially in this pose.
Even the flower, despite suspecting it's ranunculus flower, that means charm and attraction, takes on a more innocent role here. This pictures is very soft, and I got the vibe that it almost represents Kris' inner child that never got to be vulnerable in his femininity. That he could not be a man and still be feminine, but here he gets to experience it without judgment.
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So these four I paired up because they communicate a lot with one another, which is also why I think Kris put them in a separate post.
In these four, I feel like Damon really wanted to play with androgyny of Kris' features. In the first picture, Kris has a stockier pose, his chin is positioned higher and he is looking away from the camera. His stare is more sensual here, almost flirty. He definitely embodies more masculine, energy in which he is more comfortable due to him being used to being seen that way.
In the second one, it's a similar pose, but Kris' hand moved lower, so it almost looks like he is playing with his hair. His eyes are more open and vulnerable and he is also looking away from the camera. It reminds me of the picture "Wanderer above the Sea of Fog", not because they look similar, but they kind of give me a similar vibe, if that makes sense? Someone gazing into something far away, out of their reach.
Also Kris' eyes are so expressive here, I almost feel like I am seeing something private that I shouldn't be seeing.
Important to note that his heart necklace is at full display at the first three pictures.
In the third one, he has the most feminine pose. His chin is positioned lower, and his arm is more in the shadow than in the first picture, making him appear smaller. He is gazing directly at the camera, and one can practically feel his vulnerability.
It feels like these three are a progression of one another. Of Kris subtly shifting from his more masculine to more feminine expression, like he is lowering a shield of what we are expected to see vs what he wants to show.
This doesn't feel childlike like the picture with the flower, though. This is Kris showing he grew enough to know being vulnerable is fine, even when one is grown and I think that's beautiful. I love the way Damon played with how subtle difference in poses, light and expression can change sm.
The fourth picture I feel is truly a balance of masculine and feminine energy from the previous three. Kris isn't hiding his hands, which we have seen a lot in this photoshoot, they are on clear display. He is showing his hand, so to speak, but also, his hands are those of a guiarist and of a man and that doesn't make them any less beautiful.
His hair is messy and covering his eyes, hiding the most vulnerable part of him, but he also seems much more relaxed, almost as if he isn't posing. His chin is lowered and his head is titled to the side, coding it as a more feminine pose.
Despite the hair hiding his eyes, I am pretty sure they are open? Or at least, it's giving the effect of him gazing back at the viewer, observing them as much as they are observing him.
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And last but not least, Kris' picture in color. And my god, what a picture to finish off with.
We have the element of water, which is very often associated with feelings. Water flows freely, but it also cleans and cleanses of anything stagnant left on us.
The closeup of Kris' face with a golden eyeshadow is just beautiful. It's messy, but we can now see that it's messy on purpose. As I said before, it reminds me of the makeup trend young girls used to do, where they would experiment with makeup before a shower. That way, they could let themselves be as creative as they liked and try more unconventional makeup, because they would take a shower immediately after and no one but them would see it.
This gives me the similar vibe, with Kris letting himself experiment with femininity again, the water running over his face representing his letting his feelings flow freely again.
All in all, I absolutely adored this, Kris is certainly an amazing model and I love that Damon was very creative with his photoshoot. If anyone wants to add any other thoughts they have, feel free to, I love hearing other people's opinions on this!
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