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rafesapologist · 4 months

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the set up — rafe cameron; part fifteen

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

warnings: angst, mentions of violence and injury, blood, sad rafe, mentions of guns, swearing

The world swirled in a hazy blur as you fought to regain your senses. The pain in your side radiated with each labored breath, and the darkness that enveloped you seemed impenetrable. For a moment, the events of the night blurred together—the urgency of leaving, the revelation about Rafe, and now, the mysterious and agonizing encounter in the chateau's yard.

As your vision gradually cleared, the moonlit night unveiled the chateau's surroundings. The distant sounds of Midsummers festivities lingered in the air, a stark contrast to the chilling breeze that swept through the quiet yard. A surge of pain jolted through your side as you attempted to rise, prompting a cry of anguish to escape your lips.

The scream echoed through the night, a haunting sound that caught the attention of anyone nearby. In the moments that followed, Rafe, who had been frantically searching for you, heard your cry and rushed towards the source of the pain. Panic etched his features as he reached you, a torrent of apologies tumbling from his lips.

"Y/n! Holy shit, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I didn't know it was you!" Rafe's words spilled out in a desperate rush as he knelt beside you, his eyes wide with shock and regret.

Crying out in pain, you clutched your side, the reality of the situation sinking in. Rafe, overcome with concern, tore off a portion of his tuxedo and attempted to fashion a makeshift bandage. His hands worked quickly, fueled by a mix of adrenaline and guilt, as he tried to stem the bleeding and alleviate your pain.

As the Pogues rushed outside and witnessed the chaotic scene, shock and concern etched their faces. The realization of your injuries, coupled with the presence of a gun next to Rafe, painted a grim picture. JJ's expression darkened with anger, his fists clenched as he put two and two together.

"You did this?!" JJ's voice thundered, the anger simmering beneath the surface as he stormed towards Rafe. The atmosphere crackled with tension as the Pogues grappled with the sudden turn of events.

Kiara and Sarah attempted to intervene, their voices raised in urgency. "JJ, calm down! Let's figure out what happened first!" Kiara pleaded, her eyes darting between JJ and Rafe.

But JJ's anger was palpable, and he continued his approach, fury burning in his eyes. "You hurt her, you bastard! What were you thinking?" he yelled, shoving Rafe back with a forceful push.

The clash between JJ and Rafe intensified, the air thick with unresolved tension. Kiara and Sarah desperately called for restraint, but JJ's anger seemed to overshadow reason in that moment.

As JJ shoved Rafe away, he turned back to you, his anger momentarily set aside as he knelt down to help. "Hey, hey, we need to get you inside. Can you stand?" he asked, concern replacing the rage in his voice. The urgency to tend to your injuries took precedence over the conflict, the makeshift family now facing a new challenge—navigating the aftermath of a night filled with unexpected twists and turns.

As Rafe looked down at you, tears welled in his eyes, his heart heavy with the weight of the pain he had inadvertently caused. The sight of you in distress, and the realization of his role in it, shook him to the core. John B rushed over to understand the situation, only to find JJ in a frenzy, attempting to aid you.

Frustration and anger seethed in John B's expression as he turned towards Rafe. "What the hell happened?!" he demanded, his voice laced with anger and concern.

Rafe paced the ground, running a hand through his hair in a display of remorse. "I didn't know it was her. I didn't mean to hurt her," he stammered, tears streaming down his face as he attempted to explain, the weight of guilt bearing down on him.

The continuous stream of apologies from Rafe became overwhelming, his words blending together in a desperate attempt to convey his remorse. However, the chaos escalated when Sarah stepped forward, her expression firm. "Enough, Rafe. You need to leave," she stated, cutting through the torrent of apologies.

Rafe fell silent, uncertainty and desperation evident in his eyes. He hesitated, torn between wanting to make amends and respecting the decision to remove himself from the situation. The turmoil within him was palpable as he looked at you, still in pain, and the friends who were rightfully furious with him.

In the midst of the emotional whirlwind, Rafe found himself at a loss for words, caught between the desire to fix what he had broken and the understanding that, in this moment, leaving might be the only way to begin the process of healing.

Silent apologies hung in the air as Rafe, with teary eyes, cast a pleading look towards you. The weight of regret and helplessness etched on his face was a silent acknowledgment of the pain he had caused. He retreated to his car, leaving the chateau grounds with a heavy heart.

Meanwhile, your cries of pain echoed in the night as JJ, with gentleness in his eyes, lifted you into his arms. The Pogues, their faces etched with concern, huddled around you as JJ laid you on the couch in the chateau's living room. Kiara scurried to search for first aid supplies in the cabinets, a sense of urgency in her movements.

As you lay on the couch, the pain etched on your face, the Pogues gathered around you, each expressing their concern. JJ, in particular, took charge, trying to assess the severity of your injuries. Kiara returned with first aid supplies, and together, they worked to tend to your wounds.

The atmosphere in the chateau was heavy with tension and worry. The discussion of taking you to the hospital lingered in the air, a shared concern among your makeshift family. JJ looked at you with a mix of guilt and determination, his priority now focused on providing whatever care he could to alleviate your suffering.

As the Pogues gathered around you, the severity of your injuries evident, John B took charge. He looked at JJ with a determined expression, his voice carrying a sense of urgency.

"JJ, we need to get her to the hospital. Help me get her into the van. We don't have time to waste," John B directed, the gravity of the situation pushing them into swift action.

JJ nodded, his face tense with a mixture of guilt and determination. Together, they carefully lifted you into the van, the makeshift family now rallying together to address the immediate crisis. The urgency in John B's voice reflected the understanding that time was of the essence, and the hospital was the best place for you to receive the care you needed.

As the van's engine roared to life, the Pogues, their faces etched with worry, shared a collective determination to navigate the challenges that lay ahead. The night, which had begun with the promise of celebration, had unraveled into a series of unforeseen events, each demanding resilience and unity from your makeshift family.

In the back of the van, as it sped towards the hospital, you lay with your head resting on JJ's lap. His fingers gently combed through your hair as he spoke reassuring words, his voice a comforting anchor in the midst of the chaos.

"You're going to be okay, alright? We're getting you help as quickly as possible," JJ murmured, the sincerity in his voice meant to provide you with a sense of comfort. The urgency of the situation hung heavy in the air, but JJ's attempts to soothe you were a testament to the unspoken bond that tied your friends together.

As the van cut through the night, the headlights illuminating the road ahead, the collective focus remained on getting you to the hospital. The van carried not only the weight of your pain but also the hope for a resolution—a beacon in the darkness, symbolizing the shared determination to navigate the challenges that lay ahead.

JJ's attempts at reassurance seemed to briefly register as you nodded, your face reflecting a momentary acceptance of his comforting words. However, the respite was short-lived as a sudden wave of pain washed over you. Your body curled up instinctively, seeking solace in the proximity of JJ, tears streaming down your face.

The dual sources of anguish—the physical pain you endured and the emotional weight of Rafe's inadvertent actions—intertwined, creating a complex tapestry of suffering. In that vulnerable moment, your tears became a silent testament to the multifaceted challenges that the night had unleashed.

JJ, recognizing the depth of your distress, tightened his grip gently, offering silent support as the van continued its hurried journey towards the hospital. The road ahead, both literal and metaphorical, remained uncertain, the night unfolding in unexpected ways, leaving behind a trail of pain, regret, and the collective resolve of your makeshift family to confront the challenges that lay ahead.

As your pain persisted in the back of the van, JJ, growing increasingly anxious, urged John B to hurry. "Come on, John B, we can't waste any time. She's in pain," JJ insisted, his concern palpable.

John B, focused on navigating the van through the night, responded with a reassuring tone, "We're just five minutes away, JJ. Hang in there. We'll get her the help she needs as soon as we can."

The urgency in JJ's plea mirrored the collective anxiety of the group, each passing second amplifying the weight of the situation. The van pressed forward, hurtling through the darkness towards the hospital, a beacon of hope on the horizon as your friends rallied to address the challenges that unfolded with every passing moment.

The van came to a sudden stop, and Pope, recognizing the urgency of the situation, swiftly moved to open the side door. The cool night air rushed in as JJ carefully lifted you out of the van, cradling you in his arms.

Pope, with a sense of urgency, led the way, guiding JJ towards the entrance of the Emergency Room. The hospital doors swung open, revealing the bustling environment within. JJ, his expression tense with worry, followed Pope's lead, ensuring you received the care you desperately needed.

As JJ carried you into the Emergency Room, panic etched on his face, he approached the medical staff urgently. "Help! We need help here! She's been shot, and she's in a lot of pain!" JJ pleaded with the medical staff, his voice a desperate cry for immediate assistance.

The ER staff, well-trained to handle emergencies, swiftly responded. They rushed to your side, taking in the severity of the situation. With a sense of urgency, they guided JJ to a bed, the wheels squeaking as they maneuvered it towards the treatment area. The medical team surrounded you, their swift movements and focused expressions reflecting the gravity of the situation.

As you were taken into surgery, JJ, anxiety etched on his face, watched helplessly. His plea for immediate assistance echoed in the ER, the urgency of the moment underscoring the unpredictable nature of the night and the challenges that now unfolded within the sterile walls of the hospital.

The Pogues hurried into the Emergency Room, finding JJ in a state of distress near the entrance. Pope, Kiara, Sarah, and John B gathered around him, concern etched on their faces as they assessed the gravity of the situation.

"JJ, she's in good hands. The hospital staff knows what they're doing," Pope reassured, placing a comforting hand on JJ's shoulder.

Kiara nodded in agreement, offering words of comfort. "They'll take care of her. She's strong, JJ. She'll get through this."

Despite their attempts to console him, JJ's worry remained evident. He couldn't shake the image of the blood and the pain you had endured. The weight of the night hung heavy on their makeshift family, the hospital walls echoing with a mix of anxiety and hope as they awaited news on your condition.

As the agonizing hours passed, the Pogues waited anxiously in the hospital, their worry palpable in the sterile environment. Finally, a doctor emerged from the ER, approaching the group with a measured expression.

"The surgery went well. She's in stable condition now," the doctor informed them, a collective sigh of relief escaping the Pogues. The news brought a momentary reprieve from the tension that had gripped them since the night unfolded.

With a sense of gratitude, the doctor continued, "One of you can go back and see her now. She's in Room 213."

JJ, his worry still etched on his face, immediately volunteered. "I'll go," he stated, determination in his voice. The group exchanged encouraging glances, silently acknowledging the unspoken bond that had brought them together in moments of crisis.

JJ made his way to Room 213, the anticipation building as he approached the door. The sight of you, battered but stable, offered a glimmer of hope in the aftermath of a night filled with unexpected twists and turns. He entered the room with a mix of relief and concern etched on his face. As he approached your bedside, you greeted him with a weak but genuine smile. The sight of you, still in recovery, brought a sense of solace to JJ.

He took your hand gently as you reached out for him, the touch a silent reassurance. The room was hushed, the only sound the soft hum of medical equipment and the quiet exchange between you and JJ.

You spoke through the oxygen mask, your voice muffled but filled with gratitude. "I'm so glad you're here, JJ. Thank you for sticking beside me through all of it," you expressed, the weight of the night apparent in your eyes.

JJ squeezed your hand gently, a silent promise of continued support. In the quiet of the hospital room, the bond between you and JJ remained unspoken but palpable.

JJ looked down at you with a mix of relief and vulnerability. "I'm so glad you're okay," he admitted, his voice carrying the weight of the fear he had experienced during those harrowing hours. The genuine concern in his eyes mirrored the depth of the connection he felt with you.

"I was scared, you know? Scared of what could have happened," JJ confessed, his voice sincere. "I don't know what I would've done if…" He trailed off, the unspoken fear of losing you lingering in the air.

He gently squeezed your hand, a silent reassurance that he was there, that you were still with him. "I care about you a lot, and the thought of losing you scared the hell out of me," he admitted, his eyes searching yours for understanding.

In that vulnerable moment, the weight of the night, the relief of your recovery, and the shared emotions between you and JJ hung in the air. The hospital room, once filled with tension, now bore witness to a conversation that transcended words, the unspoken bond between the two of you deepening in the aftermath of the unexpected events.

You managed a reassuring smile through the oxygen mask, your eyes reflecting understanding and warmth. "I know you were scared, JJ. But you couldn't lose me. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere," you reassured him, your voice gentle yet firm.

"I'll always be with you, in any way possible," you added, emphasizing the enduring nature of your connection. The hospital room, for a moment, became a sanctuary where the bond between you and JJ transcended the immediate challenges of the night.

JJ's eyes softened with gratitude, grateful for your words and the assurance they carried. In the quiet of the hospital room, the unspoken understanding between you and JJ became a source of strength, a reminder that, no matter the obstacles, your connection was resilient and enduring.

JJ, moved by the tender moment and your reassuring words, leaned down and gently kissed your forehead. The gesture was a silent expression of care and affection in the aftermath of the challenging night.

As he pulled back, he noticed a tear that had escaped your eye. Concern flashed in his eyes, and he frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice filled with a mix of empathy and worry.

You took a deep breath before admitting, "I'm upset about Rafe. Everything that happened tonight, it's a lot to process." The events of the night had taken an emotional toll on you, and the mention of Rafe brought forth a mix of conflicting emotions that added to the complexity of the situation.

JJ listened to your words with a heavy heart, understanding the weight of the emotions you were carrying. As you expressed your disbelief and sorrow over Rafe's actions, more tears fell from your eyes.

"I can't believe he did that," you murmured, your voice choked with a mix of disappointment and hurt.

JJ, wanting to offer comfort, shook his head. "None of this is your fault. It's not on you. I blame myself more than anything. I should've seen it coming, should've protected you from all of this mess," he admitted, his expression filled with self-blame.

The complex web of emotions, blame, and regret lingered in the hospital room as you and JJ navigated the aftermath of the night's events. The makeshift family had faced unexpected challenges, and the scars left behind were not just physical but emotional, creating a tense atmosphere that would take time and resilience to unravel.

As you shared your internal struggle with JJ, the weight of the emotions in the room became palpable. "I don't know if I can continue this deal with Rafe," you admitted, a sense of fear and uncertainty in your voice. The realization of the danger you might face by continuing the arrangement hung heavy in the air.

Internally, your heart felt heavy, torn between the rational fear for your safety and the emotional complexities tied to your feelings for Rafe. The internal conflict mirrored the intricate web of emotions that had unfolded throughout the night.

JJ, sensing the internal struggle, offered a reassuring touch and spoke with understanding. "You don't have to put yourself in danger for anyone, y/n. We'll figure this out together," he assured you, a pledge of support and unity in the face of the challenges that lay ahead. The hospital room, once a sanctuary of relief, became a space where difficult decisions and emotional battles unfolded—a reflection of the intricate dance between reason and emotion.

As the emotional weight of the night pressed on, you looked at JJ with teary eyes, silently seeking comfort and solace. With a gentle nod, he obliged, carefully settling beside you on the hospital bed. His arms enveloped you in a warm embrace as you nestled into his chest, seeking refuge from the storm of emotions that raged within.

JJ held you tenderly, understanding that words weren't always enough to heal the wounds left by a night of unexpected twists. The hospital room, usually sterile and clinical, became a haven for vulnerability and shared pain as you allowed yourself to break down, the weight of the events too heavy to bear alone.

In the intimate space of the hospital room, amid tears and shared vulnerability, you found the courage to speak your truth. Looking into JJ's eyes, you whispered, "I love you, JJ. And I'm sorry for all the conflict we've been through."

JJ's gaze softened, his eyes reflecting a mix of emotions. He took a deep breath before opening up, "I've always loved you, y/n. No matter what happened or what choices you made, I was always going to support you."

As the night drew to a close, the hospital room became a haven of solace. Exhausted by the emotional turbulence of the night, you found comfort in JJ's arms. Clutching onto his shirt, you sought solace against his chest, finding a sense of security in the midst of uncertainty.

JJ held you gently, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest a soothing lullaby. The hospital room, once filled with tension and worry, transformed into a tranquil space where the weight of the night gradually lifted.

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, gently waking you from the solace of sleep. As you blinked away the remnants of a night filled with turmoil, you found yourself alone in the hospital room. The absence of JJ beside you stirred a moment of disorientation, and you rubbed your eyes as you surveyed the space around.

Your phone lay on the table beside the bed, and as you reached for it, a flood of missed calls and messages caught your attention. Twenty missed calls from Rafe and a barrage of texts indicated his relentless attempts to reach you. The weight of the unread messages hinted at the urgency and concern in his attempts to connect with you.

As you scrolled through the messages, a mix of emotions stirred within you. The events of the previous night, the conflicts, and the revelations left you grappling with decisions that now demanded attention. The hospital room, once a sanctuary of quiet moments with JJ, became a crossroads where the choices you made would shape the path ahead.

As you listened to Rafe's voicemail, his voice carried a sense of distress and urgency. The apology in his tone weighed heavy, and the sincerity in his plea to talk to you was evident. He mentioned how he had begged Sarah to provide information about your condition, and after persistence, she had eventually shared that you were in the hospital recovering.

"I need to see you, just to talk. Please, give me a chance," Rafe pleaded through the voicemail, his desperation evident in every word. The complex emotions that had accompanied the events of the previous night resurfaced as you grappled with the decision of whether to face Rafe and confront the aftermath of his actions.

You composed a short and simple text message to Rafe, cutting through the tension with a straightforward offer. "You can see me at the hospital if you want to talk. Room 213," you typed and sent the message, your phone buzzing with the delivery confirmation.

The hospital room, now charged with anticipation, awaited the potential reunion and the conversations that would unfold. The choices made in the coming moments would shape the dynamics of the relationships and set the course for what lay ahead.

Suddenly, JJ entered the room with a warm smile, a coffee cup in one hand, and a blueberry bagel in the other. "Hey," he greeted, setting the treats down on the bedside table. "I went to grab breakfast while you were still asleep. Thought you might be hungry."

The aroma of coffee and the sight of the blueberry bagel provided a comforting contrast to the tension of the previous night. As JJ sat down beside the bed, the makeshift breakfast became a simple yet thoughtful gesture, a moment of normalcy amid the complexities that surrounded you.

As you took a sip of the coffee JJ had brought, you felt a surge of gratitude for his considerate gesture. Setting the cup down, you sat up in the bed, a quiet determination in your eyes. Sensing the need for a serious conversation, you turned to JJ and spoke, "I want to tell you something, but I need you to listen before you get upset."

The atmosphere in the room shifted, becoming charged with the weight of the unspoken words. JJ's eyes met yours, a mix of curiosity and concern reflected in his gaze as he prepared to listen to whatever you had to share. The hospital room, a witness to both vulnerability and strength, became the backdrop for a conversation that could shape the path ahead.

As JJ waited with a mix of curiosity and concern, you took a deep breath before opening up about the voicemail Rafe had left. "Rafe called," you began, explaining the distress in his voice and the plea to talk. "I texted him back and told him to come to the hospital. I want to hear what he has to say."

JJ's reaction was immediate, and his rejection of the idea was palpable. His brows furrowed with concern as he processed the information. "Y/n, that's a bad idea," he stated firmly, his worry evident in his expression. "After everything that happened last night, do you really think he deserves another chance?"

You met JJ's concerned gaze with a resolute expression. "You're right, he doesn't deserve another chance," you conceded, acknowledging the validity of JJ's point. "But I need to hear him out, maybe for closure. For my own peace of mind."

JJ sighed, recognizing your stubborn determination. He nodded in understanding, the worry still etched on his face. "Alright," he conceded. "But if Rafe tries anything, I'll be right there to kick his ass."

You chuckled, shaking your head at JJ's protective stance. "Always the knight in shining armor, huh?" you teased, a lighthearted comment aimed at easing the tension in the room.

JJ grinned, a hint of playfulness breaking through the seriousness of the conversation. "Someone's gotta keep you out of trouble," he quipped, the banter offering a momentary reprieve from the weighty discussions that surrounded you.

The lighthearted banter between you and JJ was interrupted by the entrance of a nurse, her presence announcing a visitor waiting to see you. JJ glanced at you, silently assessing your expression, and you offered a soft look, assuring him that it was okay for him to leave the room.

As the nurse mentioned your visitor, JJ nodded and turned to the nurse. "Send him in," he said, a mix of concern and curiosity in his eyes. The hospital room, now a stage for potential resolutions, held a tension that awaited the impending conversation with Rafe.

The moments stretched in suspense as you anxiously awaited Rafe's arrival. Your heart seemed to beat at a rapid pace, a palpable nervousness settling in. The anticipation hung thick in the air, and as the door creaked open, a lump caught in your throat. Footsteps echoed in the room, and with bated breath, you turned your attention to the entrance, ready to face the conversation that awaited.

Rafe entered the room, his gaze immediately drawn to the consequences of the previous night's events. He stood in silence for a few moments, taking in the damage and the toll it had taken on you. His eyes, filled with sorrow and guilt, shook his head slowly, a visible weight on his shoulders.

"Y/n," he started, his voice heavy with regret. "I can't even begin to say how sorry I am for doing this to you." The sincerity in his words resonated, the air heavy with the weight of emotions.

Rafe's voice carried the weight of regret as he continued, "I messed up, y/n. I should've never let it get this far. Seeing you like this, it's… it's killing me."

He took a hesitant step forward, his eyes locked on yours, searching for a reaction. "I don't deserve forgiveness, but I need you to know how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you."

You met his gaze, a mixture of emotions playing on your face. "Rafe, what happened was unforgivable. I don't know if I can look past it," you admitted, your voice wavering with a mix of pain and anger.

He nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. "I understand. I just needed you to hear how sorry I am. You deserve better."

You took a deep breath, meeting Rafe's tearful gaze as you began to express the turmoil within. "Rafe, what hurts the most is that I loved you, and I trusted you," you confessed, your voice tinged with sadness. "I never thought you'd let your emotions lead to something like this."

The sincerity in your words echoed in the room, emphasizing the depth of the emotional wounds caused by the breach of trust. Rafe's tearful eyes reflected a mixture of regret and understanding as he absorbed the weight of your disappointment and pain. The hospital room, a witness to the complexities of love and betrayal, held the remnants of a shattered connection.

Rafe's shoulders slumped under the weight of his remorse, and he took a moment before responding. "I messed up, Y/n. I let my jealousy get the best of me," he admitted, his voice strained with regret. "When I heard you left with JJ, I let irrational thoughts take over, and I lashed out. It's no excuse, but I need you to know where it came from."

His eyes remained fixed on yours, pleading for understanding as he continued, "I shouldn't have let my emotions control me like that. It's on me, and I'm sorry for what I've done to you."

As Rafe continued to apologize, the tears welled up in your eyes, and you held up a hand to stop him mid-sentence. "Stop, Rafe. I've heard enough," you said, your voice quivering with a mix of emotions.

A heavy silence settled in the room as you gathered your thoughts. When you spoke again, your words carried a weight of fear and uncertainty. "Part of me is afraid, Rafe. Afraid of what could happen if I stay around you. Afraid of the danger I might be putting myself in," you confessed. Rafe's face registered shock and sadness, the reality of the consequences sinking in.

Rafe, desperate to salvage what remained, spoke with earnestness in his eyes. "Y/n, I swear I'll never let something like this happen again. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, to be better for you," he promised, his voice laced with sincerity.

However, your expression remained conflicted, unsure of how to process the promises being offered. "Rafe, I don't know what to think anymore," you admitted, your voice a mixture of confusion and hurt. The trust that had once been a foundation in your relationship now lay shattered, and the path forward seemed uncertain.

Rafe's plea hung in the air, the sincerity in his eyes pleading for a chance at redemption. "Please, Y/n, let me show you that I can change. I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you," he implored, his voice desperate for a glimmer of hope.

Silence enveloped the room as you sat there, staring back at him with uncertainty. The weight of the moment hung heavily, the room a canvas for the intricate dance of pain, regret, and the possibility of healing.

As Rafe looked into your eyes, he could see the reflection of a shattered trust, a fracture that ran deep. The weight of his actions weighed heavily on him as he witnessed the toll it had taken on you. In the silence between you, he mentally punished himself for the irreparable damage he had caused.

You finally broke the silence, your voice soft but firm. "Rafe, I need some time alone to think, to figure out what I want moving forward," you said, your gaze still clouded with uncertainty.

He nodded, a mix of understanding and regret in his eyes. "I get it. Take all the time you need," Rafe replied, standing up. He leaned down, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead, a gesture filled with tenderness and apology. His thumb brushed away a single tear that trailed down your cheek.

Without another word, Rafe left the room, the door closing behind him. The space that remained held a mix of emotions, as you grappled with the weight of your decision and the echoes of a relationship that now hung in the balance.

The drive home felt longer than usual for Rafe, each passing mile carrying the weight of guilt and somber reflection. The echoes of the hurt he had caused you reverberated in his mind, and the once-familiar roads seemed to twist and turn with the turmoil of his own emotions.

As he pulled up to his house, the grandeur of the Cameron estate loomed before him. His father, Ward Cameron, was waiting, a questioning look etched on his face. Ward inquired about Rafe's whereabouts and the visible distress on his face.

Brushing off Ward's concern, Rafe attempted to head inside, but his father halted him. "What's truly going on, Rafe?" Ward pressed, his tone demanding an answer.

Rafe hesitated for a moment before subtly revealing the connection to you. "It's about her, Dad. The girl I've been seeing," he confessed, a weight in his words.

Ward's eyes narrowed, piecing together the situation. "And have you hurt her?" he asked, a mix of concern and disappointment in his gaze.

Rafe nodded, not meeting his father's eyes. "In some way, yeah. I messed up."

Ward's expression shifted from concern to distress as he grasped the gravity of the situation. He grabbed Rafe's face, forcing him to look into his eyes. "Why would you do such a thing?" Ward demanded, the disappointment evident in his voice.

Rafe swallowed hard, unable to offer a clear answer, and the strained atmosphere hung between father and son, laden with the consequences of Rafe's impulsive actions.

Ward's grip on Rafe's face tightened as he continued to reprimand his son. "Rafe, you can't keep being so stupid with your actions. You're only digging yourself a deeper hole," Ward admonished, his voice stern and tinged with disappointment.

As Ward's words sank in, Rafe felt a lump forming in his throat. Tears welled up in his eyes once again, the weight of his own mistakes and the disapproval from his father pressing down on him. The realization of the mess he had created, not just for himself but for the people he cared about, hung heavily in the air.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry," Rafe choked out the words, the weight of his remorse evident in his teary eyes. He repeated the apologies like a desperate plea for forgiveness.

Ward, after a moment of holding Rafe's gaze, finally let go and nodded. "Go inside, Rafe. Get yourself together," he instructed, the disappointment still lingering in his eyes but with a hint of understanding beneath it. Rafe nodded in response, wiping away the tears as he turned to enter the house, leaving the gravity of his mistakes hanging in the air.

In the solitude of his bedroom, Rafe walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. As he faced the mirror, the reflection staring back at him was a disheveled portrait of remorse and sorrow. His hands gripped the sink counter, and the weight of his actions pressed heavily on his shoulders.

Tears welled up in Rafe's eyes as he confronted the damage that had been done, not only to your relationship but to the trust and connection he had once held so dear. The sobs echoed in the quiet space, a testament to the pain he had inflicted on both himself and you.

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rafesapologist · 9 months

Text

the set up — rafe cameron; part eight

warnings: swearing, mature themes, angst, sad-ish rafe, smut (minors DO NOT INTERACT, 18+)

author's note: this one is to (hopefully) make up for having to cut the last chapter short due to personal stuff. enjoy my loves

You were pissed at JJ.

Matter of fact, it was much more than that; you loathed him. He was supposed to be your best friend, your confidant, yet he was too caught up within his fit of jealousy to realize that your time with Rafe Cameron was merely an act for the sake of your friends' livelihood. Hell, if anyone knew that it should have been JJ considering he was half of the reason the whole scheme was conspired in the first place.

You wondered what his real problem was and where it came from, considering that he had never treated you like less than until you brought up going to Midsummers with Rafe. From internal dialogue, you demanded answers and to know what had him so affronted. Out of all people, you assumed that he would have your back through the entire plan, however he was doing quite the opposite.

"I can't fucking believe him. I mean - Who does he think he is?" You remonstrated, a scowl tainting your facial features ever so palpably.

"Relax princess," Rafe let out a soft partly suppressed laugh, "how does he have you this riled up in the first place?"

Despite your indignation, you froze at his question. You knew that you couldn't flat out tell him the real reason why you and JJ got into it, for obvious reasons, so what was the next best option? Lie.

"He told me I was spending too much time with Pope and got mad at me." You blurted out before you could actually think about what you were really saying. You avoided eye contact with Rafe in hopes that he wouldn't find any evidence of deception in your expression, opting to completely circumvent his observing gaze by shifting your body away from him while you blankly stared out the car window.

"Pope? I don't think I ever see you with him unless JJ is around too." His brows furrowed.

"I mean I am close with him kind of," you added, "I used to study with him all the time after school, cause he's like a genius or whatever. But it wasn't like that. Pope's too innocent." You shrugged, your words spewing from your lips with little to no thought as your only goal was to steer the boy away from any suspicion of you.

"Are you sure it's nothing more than that?

Your eyes widened in disbelief as your head snapped towards Rafe's direction while he continued to drive, "Are you serious?" You catechized in a state of dubiety.

"Just wondering." The sandy-haired boy stated as though he asked nothing wrong, which only seemed to set you off more on top of your prior situation at hand.

"For your information, no it's not more than that, and two, why do you care?" You folded your arms in your seat as you turned to face Rafe with intent to interrogate him on his unappreciated inquisitiveness.

"Don't ask questions you already know the answer to." He glanced over at you with a suggestive look written on his face and in his eyes that sent shivers down your spine and planted those same old butterflies in your stomach.

"Well, I did ask." You pestered in hopes it would provoke some sort of reaction out of him, which seemed to be easy for you to do.

"I just don't think you deserve to settle for some Pogue dude who can't come close to giving you a real future." Rafe kept his eyes pointed straight ahead onto the road in front of him as he spoke, making you wonder if he just havering or not.

"And what, you can?" You scoffed.

"I would." He declared in a way that implied to you that he was more than sure of himself and what exactly he was promising to you, although it seemed rather delusive and improbable to happen.

"Yeah. I'm sure you tell every girl that." You heaved a displeased sigh to yourself as you slouched back into your seat, refusing to believe that the Rafe Cameron, the Kook Prince himself, would genuinely be the type to go out of his way to make the effort for any woman, unless he was trying to sleep with her.

"You really have no faith in me, pretty girl." Rafe breathed out a half-hearted chuckle at your lack of credence in his word, however he must have taken some amusement in your incredulity judging by the way his continual smirk stayed present on his face.

"Shut up, Cameron. Just take me home."

"I have a better idea, first." He replied, his lips curling up into a suppressed thin-lip smile.

"Great. Now I'm being kidnapped too." You rolled your eyes once more, rubbing your forehead in distress.

"It's not kidnapping if you willingly got in my car, y/n."

"It's kidnapping if you're taking me places I didn't agree to go to!" You protested, flailing your hands in the air at him, which of course only earned you a chuckle on his part.

"Would you rather me take you back to JJ?" Rafe threatened flippantly as the car suddenly pulled into yet another empty parking lot. Typical.

"Would have rathered you take me home but whatever." You mumbled to yourself with your arms still folded over your chest as you peered up from your seat to observe your new surroundings, which deemed foreign to you.

"Rafe- Why are we at another parking lot? You know you're really not clever with your date ide-"

"Just trust me." Rafe shushed as he turned the car off and exited, only to meet you at the passenger side door to open it for you as he had done previously. Sure it was an almost banal thing of him to do, but you had to admit that part of you enjoyed his acts of courtesy.

You remained hesitant with him, however your curiosity was a much greater component in you decision making that had led you to following him anyways. You treaded closely behind him as he headed into the direction of a purportedly seclusive area of a place that appeared to lead to a beach, judging by the way that sand had come into your view. You fumbled through a small patch of dead trees as you made your way to a wide open shore with an absence of debris that beaches you had seen normally had.

"This is where I usually go to get away." Rafe suddenly confessed while he took in the scenic view ahead of him.

"So this is the spot you take all your hookups to. Nice." You nodded with your lips pressed together, confused as to why you were even there in the first place.

"You're so stubborn, you know that?" He rolled his eyes, sighing as he sat down on an individual log that rested in the sand.

"So I've been told."

"Just come sit with me." Rafe gingerly pleaded to you while he combed a hand through his straight locks that displayed blends of wheaty and brown undertones, combining to create a dimensional shade of dirty blond that was unique to his features, "Please?"

You wanted to resist his request initially and continue your usual back-and-forth banter that the two of you always kept up with, however you saw something different in Rafe's eyes when he asked you to sit with him. A new candor that had washed over him that had you obeying his call.

Both of you had sat besides each other for a few minutes, basking in each other's silence as the sounds of the distant waves crashed upon the shore harmoniously. You kept your gaze directly at the view of the ocean ahead, your fingers interlocked under your knees while you sat with your legs up to your chest as you took in the scenery around you. Although your vision was aimed at the oceanfront, you could feel the burning stare of those familiar azure eyes trained onto you, causing your body temperature to rise rapidly.

"I came here a lot when I was younger." Rafe broke the silence abruptly, causing you to snap your head in his direction with your brows furrowed in confusion. "To get away from my parents when they were fighting, and sometimes from Sarah." He continued on, a quiet dry laugh escaping his rosy-pink lips.

"Why did you need to get away from them?" You asked rather lowly, scared to say the wrong thing in such an earnest moment.

The blond sighed deeply in response as his eyes began to scan the area ahead of him intently before he spoke. "They fought a lot, my mom and dad. Sometimes to the point where I thought they were going to kill each other," his nose wrinkled as a display of discomfort, "but I was the oldest so everyone expected me to protect Sarah and Wheezie when things got bad like that, and I did. Every single time. But, what I think they failed to realize was that it was just as uneasy for me to witness as it was them. I didn't wanna see or hear them fight either, but I had no choice. I needed to get away from it at some point, so I started coming here."

Your lips formed into a significant frown as he spoke, taking in his shattering words and that cold look that casted over his face that you knew was only to cover up from the pain he felt reliving the events he was describing. You would have never guessed there was so much hiding beneath that posh demeanor of his, however you felt as though there was more that had yet to be said.

"Did they ever notice when you'd run away like that?" You asked sheepishly.

"Nobody noticed when I was gone. They were only concerned when they needed me for something again." Your heart began to break piece-by-piece as Rafe's revelations had began to unfold slowly. The tragedy in what he was telling you was beginning to make your throat swell as tears threatened your eyes, asking yourself how a family could be so cruel to one of their own, a scenario you were quite familiar with yourself.

"It only ended once they finally got divorced and my mother ran away back to her hometown," Rafe seemed to wince at the statement, scratching the back of his head to mask his reaction, "I never saw or heard from her again after that. Honestly I couldn't tell you if she was alive or dead right now, crazy as it sounds."

You pressed your lips together into a thin line once they began to quiver as you digested Rafe's story. You forced yourself to look away from him and focus your attention to your hands that fiddled in your lap, knowing that if you looked at him any longer you would surely lose your composure.

"Rafe.. I-I'm so sorry." You breathed out quietly, a weakness in your voice that made him turn his head to observe the state that you were in. It was safe to say that he was staring at you once again, considering the intensity of his glare could be felt from miles away, but you refused to look up and reveal to him how much distress the detailed account of his previous life had put you in.

"My experience isn't quite the same as yours, but I understand your pain, Rafe. In a sense, I do." You uttered with your eyes glued to the sand below your feet.

"What do you mean?" Rafe asked, watching you keenly as you spoke.

"My family is pretty fucked up, too. Not in the same exact way as yours may be, but still, fucked." You let out a dry laugh, kicking the sand between your toes away from you, "My mother is verbally abusive and neglectful, and my dad is just, barely ever home. Sometimes I wonder if it's because he's trying to get away from her, although I wouldn't blame him for that, but I needed him many times in my life and he was never there. Plenty of times she was saying these God awful things to me, tearing me down for most of my life, and the one person who was supposed to be there to protect me just... Wasn't." You shook your head as it hung low to the ground, fighting off the urge to cry that overcame you as you recalled the burning memory of your childhood.

"It's not my place to speak on what they went through, but JJ and John B came from homes similar to mine. Absent, hell even abusive if that's what you wanna call it, parents. We basically raised ourselves, I mean we still are essentially. At times I would think that I still don't know any better than that nine year old girl who wondered how she was going to make it in life given the circumstances she was put into. Part of me will always resent my parents for doing this to me." Your voice cracked as you spoke, a queasy feeling building up in your stomach as you basically bared your soul to some boy from Figure Eight.

"Hey," Rafe cooed as he placed his large hand ontop of your thigh, "just because you were dealt with a bad hand growing up doesn't mean you are subjected to a bad life, y/n. They can't determine how far you're going to go, and you'll sure as hell get a lot farther than them I'm sure."

"Rafe," you shooked your head at him as you quickly wiped a single tear that escaped your eye, "I live on the Cut. I'd have to work two jobs to even come close to being comfortable, and even then, it still wouldn't be enough to get by long term. I have to work ten times harder than anyone else on this island because of the situation I was born into, the family I was born into. It'll be a hassle for the rest of my life. I don't get to live in a mansion and own some fancy yacht because my dad has the money, I wasn't given that privilege in life."

Your words wounded Rafe a little bit, as much as he hated to admit, but he knew you had a point and for that he couldn't be mad at you for it. He knew you were at an unfair disadvantage simply because of who your parents were and what little effort they made into giving you a congenial life, and it hurt him knowing you were made to suffer because of other people's foolish mistakes and selfishness.

"You deserve a happy life just as much as anyone else, actually probably even more than most." The blue-eyed boy urged with ardent feelings present in his tone.

"You're just saying that." You rolled your eyes half-heartedly, nudging him softly in disagreement to his statement.

"I'm not, y/n. I mean it, genuinely. You've been through so much and here you are, still so lively and caring. Most people in your shoes would have let their past turn them heartless, but you.. You're infectious and kind despite having gone through hell. I don't think you give yourself enough credit for that." His words were sweet and genuine in a way that had your heart practically melting in his hands, a feeling you had yet to feel so authentically as you did in that moment as you sat there on a vacant beach, staring into the mesmerizing lazuline eyes of Rafe Cameron.

Your lips stayed slightly parted subconsciously as you found yourself getting lost in the current moment that was unfolding between you and the Kook Prince himself, a scene you never would have imagined yourself being in three weeks before. You watched as his pupils widened, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your swollen lips. His free hand ghosted your forearm as it made its way up to your cheek, wiping the reminisce of tears that trailed down your face. You peered up at him coyly, staring back at him through your eyelashes as you gently rested your head into his warm open hand while his thumb slowly caressed the soft skin.

"So beautiful." Rafe whispered under his breath as he looked at you with full admiration that made your legs feel weak. You weren't entirely sure why, perhaps it had been the vulnerability you were subjected to in that moment, but you felt like crying again. This time however, it wasn't from sadness or pain, but relief. A relief that for the first time in your entire life, someone had saw you for who you were and was willing to provide you a safety net for you to let down your walls and fall freely into them. Sure your friends came close to it, but with Rafe it was far different. The feeling was intense and invoked a child-like excitement, even joy, out of you. It made you feel giddy inside, as though you couldn't help but smile in his presence even when he wasn't saying a word.

The scent of a warm spice and musk fragrance invaded your space and filled the air around you, tangling you into an inebriated trance fueled by the essence of desire and impulse. You felt as though you were being taunted by Rafe's refusal to move from the position he was in, yet igniting a flame inside of you by his voluptuary touch. It was clear that he was waiting for your invite despite knowing you had craved his taste once before, but he needed your to confirm that the drive to do so was still lingering inside of you. He watched as you took matters into your own hands and climbed back onto his lap, a seat that had basically become yours after the moment the two of you had in his car.

Unlike the time before, you wanted this moment to be one of undescribable vehement, like you had never been touched properly in your lifetime. Rafe remained silent and kept his eyes glued to you and your figure, holding your hips steady against his waist.

"I know you're going to think I'm crazy for saying this right now, but Rafe," you swallowed hard as you struggled to form a coherent sentence under his stare, "I'm ready for this now."

He chuckled tauntingly, "Ready for what, pretty girl?"

"Don't make me say it." You whined, throwing your head back in aggravation.

"Dunno what you're talking about, angel." Rafe smirked as he shrugged, attempting to act as though he was blissfully unaware to the way that your hips your bucked up against him impatiently.

"I want you, idiot." You rolled your eyes at him, groaning as the tension grew unbearably painful between your thighs as the fabric of his khakis rubbed against you.

"Really? I couldn't tell." The devilish boy formed a smug look across his face as he took notice of your eagerness to get ahold of him. He scanned your frame, noticing the hazy look that had clouded over your normally doe-like eyes. Rafe was a man of great strength, but when it came to you, he was putty in your hands.

"Rafe, do something, please." You begged, unable to fully move your hips as he held onto them firmly, keeping you in place.

"Tell me what you want me to do and I will, princess." He murmured into your ear lowly as his lips ghosted your neck before landing onto the sweet spot he had found on you before, immediately earning a whimper to escape your lips quietly.

"Touch me, anything." You answered vaguely as your impatience consumed you more and more by the second, unable to contain the burning in your core.

"Hmm, where do you want me to touch you?" His voice remained low a husky, enough to make you want to collapse in his arms. You removed your hand from behind his neck and snaked it down to the side of your hip, grabbing one of his wrists and re-positioning it right along the center between your thighs.

Your mouth fell agape as Rafe obeyed your wishes and began moving his fingers up and down your blazing core, adding more pressure as your hips grinded against his long digits. Heat rushed to your cheeks at the realization of what exactly you were doing, except you were far too into it to care about the reality of it afterwards. You found that your desire only increased as he teased you through the fabric of your shorts, agonizingly. Without a second thought, you placed your hand onto of his and laced your fingers together, forcing him to speed up his movements and add even more pressure.

Rafe seemed to have taken note of your demands as he removed his hand and began unbuckling your denim shorts swiftly before sliding his fingers underneath your lace thong briskly. Your head fell back instinctively, soft moans escaping your lips that fueled Rafe's ego proudly. He found himself stuck in a daze as he watched you fall under the spell of his trained fingers as they massaged through your folds hastily, causing you to press your hips against him more as they bucked up against his hands.

Just when you found prodigious pleasure in the way Rafe's fingers felt against you, shock waves coursed through your body like electricity once you felt two of his lengthy digits curl up inside of you. Your eyes rolled back, taking in the bliss that was Rafe Cameron's two fingers thrusting into you at a pace that made your legs feel like jello. Your moans became erratic and uncontrollable as the sandy-haired boy pushed his fingers up further into you, gliding them in and out rapidly as he continuously pressed against your cervix with force.

"Does that feel good, princess?" Rafe mumbled against your collarbone as he kissed along the prominent bone passionately, trying to withhold himself from losing control of his own.

"Don't stop." You whined as you begged him to continue, grinding against his fingers keenly with hopes to feel as much of him as you possible could, a state of euphoria approaching you slowly.

"R-Rafe, I can't take it." You pleaded, wincing as his pace continued to fasten inside of you.

"C'mon angel, you can do it. You're almost there." He coaxed you softly as he sinisterly placed his thumb onto your clit and began unhesitatingly rubbing swift circles against it, sending your mind and body into a frenzy.

You placed your hands onto his shoulders and gripped onto them tightly as you began to reach your peak, your thighs shaking and your legs giving out as the muscles within them began to spasm uncontrollably. A throbbing feeling reached your core as you continued grinding against Rafe's fingers with speed as you chased your high, your moans becoming explicit and noisy.

"Cum on my fingers, baby, it's okay. Let it out." Rafe ushered as he kept up his movements while your body convulsed against him, feeling as rush go through your body as explosions set off within your core region. You felt an immense release as you came undone along his fingers, crying out as you felt an overwhelming amount of pleasure take over your body.

Rafe removed his hand out of you, buttoning your shorts back up and zipping them for you as he pecked your cheek gently.

"Are you okay?" He asked, scanning your features for any sign of pain or distress.

"Mm, yeah I'm good." You wearily hummed as you collapsed into him, burying your face into the crook of his neck while you closed your eyes, taking in the events that had just occured as well as the aftermath of the pleasure that obtained your body.

The hubristic boy chuckled at your state of defeat, "You did good, pretty girl." A small, thin lipped smile formed at the corners of his mouth as he caressed up your hips and thighs slowly, "C'mon I know you're tired, I'll take you home, or wherever. I've gotta head back to my place, anyways."

"Why?" You groaned, not wanting to removing yourself from the daydream you were currently in.

"My dad texted me, said he needs my help tonight." Rafe shrugged.

"Did he say with what?" You asked, reality now coming back to you at the mention of his infamous father.

"Yeah, sort of. He said he needed help moving some cargo onto this ship he owns. I guess it's heavy." Rafe's words came out rather bluntly and plain, as though he was talking about the weather or his weekly schedule. His statement replayed in your head a few times before you sat up and attempted to make sense of what he was talking about.

"Like just random stuff?" You questioned, pining for further answers as the topic sparked your interest and concern.

"Yes and no," he scratched the back of his head, scrunching up his nose as he lowered his voice, "but if I tell you, promise me you won't run back to your Pogue friends and tell them." Rafe asserted with seriousness, staring into your eyes as he held the sides of your arms firmly.

"Okay," you held your hands up in defense, causing his body to relax, "I promise I won't."

"See my dad and I took this trip to the bahamas a while ago, he said it was a business trip and that he wanted me to tag along for whatever reason. Come to find out, as soon as we get there, he tells me about this gold he has hidden and how he wants me to help him ship it to Switzerland so that nobody else can get ahold of it, since it's ours anyway."

Your body froze in place, staring back at Rafe was those horrifying words slipped out of his mouth without a second thought as he found sanctuary within you, despite the lack of longevity in your relationship thus far. You thought about your friends all of the sudden, and your mouth felt dry, knowing that this was exactly what they needed to know and stop before Rafe and his dad could put them in a position where the gold would be out of their reach for good.

You felt an immense pressure with the new information given to you, a burden weighing heavy on your shoulders. Your mind raced as you replayed his statement over and over again, wondering what you should do and who you should tell first, eager to relay the word back to your friends as soon as possible.

"Oh, okay that makes sense." You let out a small, half-hearted laugh, rubbing your upper arm slowly. "But, uh, Rafe?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you just drop me off at the chateau? I think I'm gonna sleep there tonight.

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