#parentified!dean

[fandom-hoarder]

Grabbing these tags by @deanwinchesterpregnant from this post to expand.

Because yes, this is a very important part! Sam says it, too!

And while there ARE Sam haters that will say "Sam doesn't know how much Dean sacrificed!" and mean it as a JUDGEMENT and omg wooby!Dean; there are also people like me, who started writing s1 Sam POVs to understand him better, and suddenly connected him to my little brother like, 'OH. Sam doesn't KNOW. How COULD he know??😭' and it's not a judgment of his character or his love for Dean! And he's not stupid! They're both just kids who have yet to work through their own shit enough to realize they don't know EVERYTHING about each other, despite their shared history. It's part of why Sam says in In My Time of Dying that they were "just starting to be brothers again."

Obviously it's a necessary part of s1 to give us, the viewer, expositional glimpses into Sam and Dean's inner workings. But the way they each react to certain new revelations about each other are still canon even if there are Doylist reasons.

It's canon that Sam didn't know Dean carried him out of the fire. It's canon that Dean has felt responsible for Sam almost being eaten by a shtriga since he was 9/10 years old, and it's canon that Sam never even knew that happened. It's canon that the memory of Mary was so coveted by Dean and John that Sam has virtually no connection to her; no stories and no echoes of her in the way they live other than the infamous Winchester Surprise.

It's canon that Sam doesn't really have any happy holiday memories, and Dean does. It's canon that their perspective on the same shared holidays is completely different. It's canon that Dean stole Christmas decorations and presents for Sam and apparently none for himself. And it's canon that Sam realized Dean did that for him and gave him his only present. And it's canon that remembering that made grown-up Sam want to give Dean Christmas even though it meant admitting something hurtful to himself. (John not showing up for Christmas/Dean's last Christmas)

If you put yourself in Sam's shoes--- a kid left alone for most of his formative years; unable to put down roots and make friends; whose best friend, the only one who could even try to understand him, is his good little soldier brother--- it's easier to understand why Sam felt lonely and became a much more introspective person. Because he was literally stuck with just his thoughts and anxieties and the TV for days at a time. When you think about how sick he must've been about it, every time Dean and John would leave. Waiting for that next phone call. Biting his fingernails when the call was late. Wanting to be invited to prove yourself, but also because if you're THERE at least you KNOW what happens.

But then, too, if you can put yourself in Dean's place: it's not necessarily something a kid or young adult can fully appreciate--- especially a somewhat emotionally immature young adult--- that their little sibling is a completely autonomous person with their own inner life. They don't just pause when you leave their sight. Dean throws himself into the hunt, and isn't thinking about how much Sam is worrying about them. He's thinking, "Sam is safe, so I can focus on backing Dad up."

It sounds selfish, but it's simply a fact of the maturing brain that it takes some time to comprehend someone else's existence outside of you as a real thing and not just a vague concept.

So, to touch on another aspect that gets discoursed:

There ARE a lot of things about Dean's parentification that Sam doesn't know at first, but he has always known about it to SOME degree. He had his own perspective on it, and for sure I wouldn't say that Sam thought of Dean as his parent. Dean has definitely always been his older and somewhat overbearing big brother. But who do you think Sam took his problems to? Who threatens to rip his bully's lungs out in After School Special? Who remembers what fucking play Sam did in drama?

And a short related aside--- thinking about how Sam was surprised about the things of his John had in storage. His surprise that John kept an eye on him at Stanford. And relating these things that changed Sam's understanding of his father, to the way his understanding of Dean shifted with each revelation of what Dean had done for him. And despite everything Sam ALREADY knew, his adult brain and life experiences gave him new perspective on things.

This maybe is a little rambley, but oh well. What was I saying...

Oh yeah. So sometimes people get upset about Dean being given like. More praise than he deserves or something, by having those "you practically raised me" lines and things. As if it's a retcon. But it's really not.

It's Sam growing up, and his brain constantly taking in new information and reshaping his understanding. It's Sam seeing how much Dean blames himself for things that weren't his fault, and wanting Dean to see the good he's done. It's Sam being able to see Dean's heart underneath his codependent or selfish decisions, and reaching out. It's Sam trying to remind Dean he can lean on Sam, too.

I've gone off on a tangent and made myself tear up lol. I don't remember where I wanted to end up anymore. Somewhere in the ether there's another rant about how Dean has a harder time allowing himself the introspection on his perception of Sam, and how this leads to Sam having to do a lot of the leading on the emotional maturity of their relationship, and how hard this is when the person you're leading still sees you as their kid, in whatever capacity.

But ultimately, of COURSE Sam does as much for Dean. Of course Sam has agency in this and isn't Dean's baby that had a pampered childhood vs Dean's horrible one. Sam and Dean acknowledging the actual circumstances of their childhood dynamic doesn't have to be a Samgirls vs Deangirls fucking situation lol.

#me.txt #my replies #sam n dean commentary #Dean's parentification #parentified!dean #fandom discourse #peer review #related posts #sam winchester commentary #dean winchester commentary

[sadgirlbadpoems]

I think that the Supernatural fandom doesn't give Dean Winchester enough credit or hold John Winchester accountable nearly enough. I would argue that John's abuse (mental, emotional and physical) and its constant effect in both boys lives is constantly downplayed by a majority of the fanbase.

The parentification of an elder sibling has been proven to cause lasting issues and we see this throughout the show; when Dean is overly protective of Sam, treats Sam's life as more valuable than his own, can't picture a life where he's not needed, and his dismissal of Sam as a valuable contributor in an equal partnership. Dean is often criticized both in canon and by fans for being overbearing and codependent on Sam. This is a direct result of John Winchester's inability to parent.

Dean's emotional repression is shown to be caused by his father's militant behaviors and approach to parenting. Dean doesn't see his feelings as valid or important and thus turns to repression or unhealthy coping mechanisms as illustrated throughout the show. His alcoholism, violent outbursts, and unhealthy relationship with sex are all coping mechanisms he uses not to feel.

Through flashbacks (and some dialog) the viewer is show that Sam is more resentful towards John than Dean, and that he even holds resentment towards Dean for being the "perfect little soldier".

That's part of the reason Castiel is such a great foil for Dean, both are loyal to absent fathers' but while Dean was born with free will he follows his father's orders unwaveringly until sometime after his death, Cass a being created without free will breaks free of the command of his father and from his father's mission, becoming for all intents and purposes a Prodigal son like Sam.

Dean's adherence to his father's word is, much like Sam's rebellion a response to continued and repeated abuse, neither brother is perfect. And their father was the furthest thing from it.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #john winchester bashing #cw alcohol #tw abuse #cw sex mention #am i really talking about this in 2024 #spn #castiel #dean deserved better #sam did too #parentified child #sorry for the rant #i have so many thoughts #and feelings

[panicroomsammy]

Okay while I’m thinking about John and that one post that’s been going around about “‘John taught Dean that boys don’t cry’ is incorrect” here’s my two cents: John did teach Dean to emotionally behave the way he does. Not on purpose and not by example, but accidentally through parentification. Parents of parentified children can themselves be in tune with their emotions and can want their children to be emotionally open, but through the process of emotionally leaning on their children and relying on them to fulfill their emotional needs such children learn to repress their own emotions. I am currently reading John’s journal and lines like this

are glaring examples of parentification. John isn’t doing it on purpose though! He just needs someone to talk to and the only person to talk to his his eight year old son. He may even think that by talking to Dean about his feelings he is teaching Dean that that’s what people do, but talking to kids like this can do the opposite. Dean learns that he has to be there for his dad emotionally, and by default that means that his own emotions are put on the back burner. The way that Dean prioritizes John’s emotions over his own is exemplified here:

On the anniversary of his mother’s death six year old Dean saw that his father was upset and went to comfort him instead of the other way around. He’s being taught to ignore his own emotions not out of malice or gender roles but because his parent is depending on him so out of necessity he puts his feelings aside.

What this translates to as an adult is what we see in the show in Dean’s reluctance to talk about how he feels with Sam who is constantly trying to get Dean to talk to him. After hell Dean doesn’t want to tell Sam about it and burden him with knowing what Dean did. Where I’m at currently in season 10 Dean doesn’t want to acknowledge that the mark may still be affecting him because that’s his problem. Anything that Dean considers to be his own problem he refuses to talk about because he defaults to taking care of other people’s emotional needs first. He didn’t learn that sometimes other people’s emotional needs are taking care of his emotional needs the way that a non-parentified child would learn from a parent who fulfills their emotional needs by taking care of their child.

John isn’t evil. He isn’t some paragon of toxic masculinity. He was just a human man in a bad situation who made mistakes that influenced his children into adulthood.

#supernatural #dean winchester #john winchester #parentification #parentified dean winchester #I know a lot of people talk about dean and spousification also but I haven’t read psychology articles about that the way I have with #parentification so I feel less qualified to talk about it especially as I’ve experienced parentification myself but not spousification

[quinneleanor]

One thing I find so interesting about Sam and Dean's childhood is how outsiders must've perceived Dean's outbursts when Sam's safety was at risk.

On the playground, teachers catch Dean pummeling Sam's bully. The kid is on the ground, nose a broken, bloody mess and Dean's still swinging, teeth bared in a silent snarl. Sam is holding his face in his hands, staring, disturbed and somber, at Dean's feral display. Later, there'll be a call from the principal but it's the 90s and John's busy, so of course nobody picks up. The teachers think something is seriously wrong with Dean, but Sam knows the truth. They try to get Dean evaluated by the district's child and adolescent psychiatrist but John's not there to give the green light so it's fruitless. Still, they keep a closer eye on Sam's older brother.

It's that type of raw protectiveness that bleeds into their teenage years and beyond. As an adult, Dean doesn't care how he and Sam are perceived because he's used to the uncomfortable stares, inquiring glances, and veiled whispers. At the end of the day, Sam is his kid, no matter if the dude's a giant grown-ass man. He'll always be that shy, timid kid on that playground.

#supernatural #samdean #sam winchester #dean winchester #bromance #sam and dean #Wincest #Wincest if you squint #supernatural theories #weecest #weirdcest #gencest #parentified child #Spn

[smaeemo]

It’s crazy to see how people interpret dean and sam’s brother dynamic as “wincest”

Some people have clearly never trauma bonded with their parentified older sibling. Then you take into account the degree of trauma that they have been through and continue to go through. Their codependency stems from their childhood and current traumas, their mental states due to that, the way they grew up with their father obsessing over the importance of “family is everything,” and the deep parentification of Dean, AKA Dean having to be a CHILD while raising his little brother, and taking care of his insane father. It’s not “wincest”/incestuous in anyway, it’s called trauma, parentification and general unstable family dynamics.

I think that a lot of “wincest” shippers don’t actually see what trauma can do to a person and their dynamics, specifically the people that endured that trauma with you. Dean, who was the older one that had to in HIS WORDS “be the mother, father, and brother” of his younger brother since the age of !4! is obviously going to be extremely protective/codependant of/with Sam, both because of the parentification and the words of his father carved into his very being. As for Sam, having Dean be all those things for him, means that more than anything, Dean is it for him because Dean RAISED HIM. Which is why, for so many reasons, what John said to Dean (killing Sam), was one of the most cruel things he could have done. John if not straight out, on some level knows that Dean and Sam will forever have a different dynamic because Dean raised Sam, ergo, Dean being more of a Parent to Sam than he ever was.

That’s not to say I think Dean was a “perfect parent” to Sam when he was raising him. No one can be “perfect” especially not a teenager raising his baby brother. What it means is that Dean had to sacrifice his childhood and grow up quickly for Sam to be not only Alive, but also so that Sam could -have- a childhood. All of this while Dean was still actively growing up, enduring his father, hunting, and having to come to terms with monsters. But he couldn’t allow himself to mess up, and going back to the idea of “perfect parenting” we see that no, he in fact was never “perfect” specifically when he leaves so that he can play games, and he sees that Sam’s safety is (extremely unfairly) placed on his shoulders. All of this, yet again along side with never having a stable home, having an unreliable source of income, and having to basically learn how to be an adult at 7, was the start of their dynamic.

As for Sam, we see that he got to play on soccer teams, go to school, and exist (while still having to endure all of the nightmares that is his homelife) outside of the hunting. Whereas Dean was the one who gave him this chance. This is not to say that Sam should ever feel guilt over this, or that Dean needed to do this. This is to show just how different their sibling relationship is, due to the trauma.

Dean treats Sam like a brother many times, but underneath it (or on top) you will always see that he is a parent to him more than anything.

“Wincest” is talking about their “strange/codependant relationship” in a romantic or purely sexual manner. This in itself just shows how many people don’t understand what it means to either have a kid or be a parentified older sibling. (I personally am not a parentified older sibling, but my sister who practically raised me is) and because of MY family dynamic I can speak from experience (definitely not to Dean and Sam’s extent) of having a parentified older sibling, and how that differs from regular sibling relationships.

Ok, this was a ramble, but as a whole “wincest” is extremely disturbing to me as a whole. And I don’t know what the rules are on this specific topic, so Idk how much I should say. But I definitely don’t condone inc*st to any degree, but to each their own ig.

Alright, I have SO much more to say on this topic. But I will hold back for now, just because I am sleepy.

XOXO

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #sam and dean #parentification #parentified child #trauma #growing up too fast #Dean being sams mother father and older brother #sams constant need for autonomy is completely warranted #older sibling #older brother #younger sibling #younger brother #john winchester hate club #never wincest #wincest is disturbing #understanding childhood trauma and how it shows up in real life is an extremely essential part of not only real life but also the fictional #aspect of media #inc*st is never ok yall #stop #pls

[batcavescolony]

You know what, I hate myself so I'm gonna watch Supernatural! As a Tumblr user I have knowledge of our hell sites favourite show but I haven't watched past s1 ish? all the supernatural girlies are watching 911 it's only right for me to pay them back ❤

#what i know: Dean and Sam brothers. Dad john is a piece of shit. mary dead (but comes back). Cas is an Angel. #castiel #sam winchester #dean winchester #supernatural #theirs a episode where they go to fan fic town and they sing the john and mary husband and wife song. dean got parentified and we hate john #their actual dad is bobby. bobbys dad also sucks. the mom from Suit life of Zach and Cody is their and she mom? #later seasons bring angels witches? and crowley (not good omens) and god? #queer baitie af. dean needs a nap and some pie? (and therapy). #batcavescolony watches #batcavescolony watches supernatural #embarrassing i spelled my own username wrong #batcaves is crazy. she has 10 comics shes started reading +two other shows she watching but she's decided to start watching supernatural too #pray for me all!

[sammygender]

to me john winchester is like. worst man alive. just wants to do right by his family. cares about his sons more than anything in the world but puts them in life-threatening danger every single day. hubris and arrogance of a god and never believes they will actually die despite the fact that he also has the paranoia and terror and deep intense mistrust of the world of eight year old me. treats both his sons like his soldiers, his eldest son like his surrogate wife/best friend/coparent/counsellor, his youngest son like the troubled-drug-addict-bad-boyfriend problem child miles before he ever actually does anything problematic to john and even then just because he has hobbies and wants to go to college.

wants them to be happy and themselves and have good lives, but thinks he needs them to be mini-him and good at fighting and not much else, and that takes priority. 'wants' all sorts of good things for them but just keeps postponing those good things until he avenges their mother until in a second their childhood's gone by. feels deep immeasurable guilt for everything he's done and knows he's ruined his children's lives. damages them in a hundred different ways, one third that he realises at the time and decides to do anyway, another third that he's unaware of at the time and realises later, and the last third that he'll never realise and never take back.

loves them miles too much and still not enough for it to matter. teaches them both that they're the only things that matter in the world and that they don't matter at all. still fervently believes that everything he did was for the best and was needed and had to be done, and always will.

#to elaborate its like. #things john knows are bad while he does them: raising them on the road without a home. raising them only to hunt and kill above all. #ignoring what they want. #things john realises more are bad in hindsight than he did at the time: parentifying dean (though he sort-of knows while this is happening #too) and 'putting too much' on him. isolating sam and dean from any potential friends or connections outside of him and each other. #things he probably will never realise are bad: the 'drunken rages' and moments of lost control - because i think in his head they just Didn #Happen - he can accept hes a bad father but only in ways that can be justified ways that were to do with hunting. treating sam like a mix #between a cursed object to be protected at all costs and a train destined to go off the rails (he will always think this was justified). hi #word being law above all #john winchester #precanon #sam & john #dean & john #spn #oliver talks #supernatural

[angelsdean]

and what if i started 'dean is too nice to sam' truthing ?

#well. publicly. bc i already am truthing that sdjkfjd #LISTEN. this show was really really bad at portraying actual sibling dynamics dfkdgk like half their fights would not be that deep irl #like oh you tried to kill me? ok well here's a funny picture of dog and also that's you ok lets go get food #dean as the eldest sibling should've told sam 'i'm right bc i'm the oldest do what i say' like. alllll the time #bc he's right and he's the oldest :) and sam just has to accept that he will ALWAYS be the baby even at 39 yrs old #esp dean being a parentified older sibling like. sam is simultaneously his annoying lil brother AND his pseduo-child #even if sam doesn't want to acknowledge that dean was his main most stable parental figure growing up it doesn't change the fact that #for dean that's what sam is. and so oscillating between the two roles of older brother and parent makes for a complicated dynamic #where you'll like. die for them. but also tease them mercilessly and call them a lil freak and weirdo #(but if anyone else did that you'd punch them out) #but yea. canon dean. too nice. #should've teased him more and gotten into more play fights + actual fights that end w/ them laughing + getting slushies at the gas 'n' sip #siblings siblings #vic.txt

[godstielcult]

How Childhood Abuse and Trauma Affected Dean Winchester in Adulthood in Supernatural

Supernatural was a television series that spanned fifteen years from 2005 to 2020 created by Eric Kripke that premiered on The WB, now known as The CW (“Supernatural”). Kripke took inspiration from his own life by making family the prime aspect of Supernatural since family was a central part in his upbringing while also incorporating elements of classic Americana from Jack Kerouac’s On the Road and Neil Gaiman’s American Gods and supernatural lore (Rome). The show, Supernatural, followed the brothers Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles) as they continued in their father’s footsteps hunting monsters, creatures, deities, and a multitude of other things that went bump in the night while also attempting to stop the next apocalypse. On top of diving into lore from diverse cultures, religions, and the occult, Supernatural at its heart focused on familial bonds and dynamics. When looking at the central characters of the show, it is evident that Dean Winchester struggles with copious amounts of trauma from his childhood and adolescent years that he still carries onto well into his adulthood (“Supernatural”).

Early Childhood

The first episode of the series is where most of Dean’s trauma stems from. In the flashback from “Pilot,” Dean is around four years old while Sam is six months old. In the flashback, their parents, John and Mary Winchester, put them both down for the night before they themselves head to bed after Dean says goodnight to his little brother. They both part ways with Mary sleeping in what is their bedroom and John sleeping in the easy chair downstairs, which signifies their already strained and far from perfect marriage that Dean mentions in “Dark Side of the Moon.,” before Mary stirs out from her slumber, hearing Sam’s cries from the baby monitor. When she goes to check on him, she notices a tall figure in the room that she assumes is her husband before heading downstairs to turn off the television that is still on. There she finds John fast asleep in the easy chair. After the realization that there is a stranger in Sam’s room, Mary races to the nursery where she is murdered and set aflame by the yellow eyed demon after John enters the nursery from hearing his wife’s screams. After the fire breaks out, John hands Dean his brother and tells him to get out of the house while he attempts to save Mary before leaving the house himself and joining his children as they watch their old life fade away into the flames of the fire.

The death of his mother to Dean is the first traumatic event he vividly experiences. Her death is not only traumatic to him by the close relationship they had, but also with it shattering the sense of safety, security, and love he had felt and experienced before that night. This event is the result of other traumas in his life, such as forcing him to grow up quickly to become a caregiver to his brother, exposing him the harsh realities of poverty, and having to emotionally support his father through his trauma of losing his wife and the horrors that came with the new life John thrusted them into. This event results in Dean experiencing parentification, abuse and neglect, and mental illness.

Parentification is the result of forcing children to take on adult roles that they are not well suited to handle. Children can become parentified if one of their parents were neglected or abused, they abuse different substances, or a traumatic event has happened. There are two types of parentification: instrumental and emotional. Instrumental parentification happens when a child is instructed to do certain tasks, which are not age appropriate for them, by their parent. This includes and is not limited to taking care of younger siblings and providing for the family in some way. Emotional parentification happens when the parent of the child expects them to fulfill their emotional needs. Examples of this behavior can be parents ranting about their marital problems to their children. This form of abuse is constant throughout the entirety of Dean’s childhood (Lewis). 

In Supernatural, Dean experienced parentification constantly during his upbringing, even before Mary’s death and John throwing them into the hunting life. The first time the audience sees Dean subject to this is in “Dark Side of the Moon.” After John calls Mary, during the time he moved out for a few days after one of their previous spats, Dean comforts and tends to the emotional needs of his mother after seeing the look on her face after hanging up the phone (“Dark Side of the Moon”). This scene singlehandedly shows the parentification of Dean with him comforting his mother, when she most needed it, after the conversation she had with her husband due to him emotionally tearing her down rather than fulfilling her emotionally. Dean, his son, had to take that place to clean up his mess and provide his mother with the emotional fulfillment she needed (Lewis). Parentification is displayed throughout the episode “Something Wicked.” In “Something Wicked,” Sam and Dean investigate an old case their father had left behind for them, that brings back painful memories from when Dean was a child. When John was hunting the shtriga, a type of witch, Dean was left alone to look after his little brother to make sure nothing would harm him while John was out. This included Dean being responsible for a sawed-off shotgun in case something would attack Sam while his father was gone when he was around eight years old. Being the typical kid, he eventually became bored of just hanging around in the dingy motel room they were staying at and decided to stretch his legs and grab a soda before returning to the room where he finds his father killing the witch before yelling at him and blaming him for not being there to protect his brother when he was only a kid (“Something Wicked”). Despite him being just a child when this occurred, John blames and continues to blame him for this for years for not being there to take care of his brother when it is not his responsibility to be taking care of and parenting a child when he is only a child himself. This brings to light that Dean never really had a childhood or was a kid when he was growing up with having to be there to take care of his brother at a small age as well as both of his parents, which John mentions in the episode “In My Time of Dying.” John states that on the first hunts he went on, he would come back a mess from what he had seen on his most recent hunt. However, Dean was the one that was always there to comfort him and emotionally fulfill him, which gets into more of the emotional parentification from his father that Dean experienced as a small child (“In My Time of Dying”). Through the use of parentification in the show, it is clear that Sam and Dean were neglected as young children.

 In the episode “Dead in the Water,” Sam and Dean investigate a series of unnatural drownings from Lake Manitoc in Wisconsin. While investigating what could be the cause of all the drownings, they pose as wildlife officers and ask the sheriff and several other people about what has happened in the town to cause something of this destruction. When asking the sheriff peculiar questions about the drownings, they meet the sheriff’s daughter and grandson. Upon getting acquainted with the two, they find out Andrea’s husband was one of the victims and her mute son Lucas was the one that saw what happened to his father and communicates to others using drawings. By the end of the episode, the brothers find out Andrea’s father and one of the drowned victims kept a secret from them about a boy they knew and had inevitably drowned from their involvement, which resulted in the young boy becoming a vengeful spirit to right wrongs of the past and make them feel what his mother had to go through emotionally with his death. In this episode, Dean opens up about the night his mother died to Lucas to give him someone who understood what he was feeling and thinking that he himself was not granted when his mother passed. Also in this episode, the audience finds out that much like Lucas, Dean also had trouble communicating after the death of his mother, which John documents in his hunting journal. (“Dead in the Water”) Dean’s mutism after the death of his mother could be a result of trying to repress the memory and avoid reliving that night.

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis and talk therapy, is credited with his proposed theory of defense mechanisms. Most of his work is discredited by most psychologists except for defense mechanisms and his three stems of the mind known as the id, ego, and superego, which psychologists that take a psychodynamic approach in their field accept without believing in Freud’s motivational drive caused by aggression and sex. The defense mechanisms include repression, regression, reaction formation, projection, rationalization, displacement, sublimation, and denial. Regression refers retreating to a former stage of development, according to Freud this would be regression of the psychosexual stages (Meyers 557-563). This perspective shifts as the Neo-Freudians believe in different motivational drives compared to Freud’s sexual and aggressive based one. According to Karen Horney, the motivational drive is people’s desires for love and security. Looking at her perspective when looking at the defense mechanisms as a whole can be the result of wanting to be perceived favorably to obtain that love and security (Meyers 565-566). In Supernatural, regression occurs in the episode “Dead in the Water” as a result of Dean regressing in his development by becoming mute after the death of his mother to avoid as much anxiety surrounding the and to avoid becoming a burden to his father by having to take care of his emotional needs. Repression also ties into this with Dean avoiding and repressing what happened to his mother by not talking about it with not having the luxury to talk about this major change in his life due to him having to fulfill those needs for his father (Meyers 557-563).

In the episode “A Very Supernatural Christmas,” Sam and Dean investigate a series of murders that involve people being dragged through the chimney with hardly a trace left behind. In the season this episode is in, Dean sells his soul to save his brother’s life. This causes him to want to celebrate one last Christmas before his soul is dragged all the way to Hell by the hellhounds. Throughout this episode, flashbacks of Sam and Dean celebrating Christmas when they were children occur and contradict the Norman Rockwell Christmas Dean dreams of having as a last hurrah. Due to John’s neglect, both Sam and Dean were never granted the commercialized Christmas, but made do on their own (“A Very Supernatural Christmas”). This is also due to Sam and dean living in poverty. Evidence has proven that poverty is related to child abuse and neglect. The effects of poverty can also be transferred to children in that situation due to it affecting their parents and caretakers. Fathers in families affected by poverty tend to be less emotionally involved in their children’s lives, which can have a drastic effect to be much worse with the greater persistence of poverty (Leverich 72-74) This affects Dean and his brother with their father being more emotionally distant and physically distant from them. This also affects them with not being provided with adequate living conditions with living in ran down motels and the backseat of their father’s car when heading to the next hunt. Their living conditions have also lacked with them being able to access nutritional food and also hardly any food at some times.

Childhood trauma is the result of experiencing either different forms of abuse or living through a traumatic event. Exposure to such things can constitute in the child’s developmental level being affected and cause them to experience problems. Such problems this can cause is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Loggings). PTSD is an anxiety disorder that is triggered by traumatic events reoccurrence in the mind, which can cause people to have nightmares, be socially withdrawn, jumpy, anxious, feel numb, or have insomnia that is recurrent for four weeks or more after the inciting event to the trauma (Meyers 664).

In Supernatural, Dean experiences the loss of his mother due to mysterious causes and circumstances in the episode “Pilot,” but his response to her death and how it affected him is not brought up until “Dead in the Water.” Dean’s response to her passing away was to close himself off from everyone he knew by not communicating in any way with others, including his brother and his father. This lack of social interaction that was unusual compared to before her death signifies a disturbance that causes daily functioning to be more difficult for him. The disturbance of behavior in his daily life then, displays a psychological disorder from the interruption it causes him in his life to experience (Meyers 651). Dean most likely experiences PTSD due to the event and things surrounding it making him irritable and jumpy as seen in “Home.” In “Home,” Sam and Dean visit the place where they grew up and the place where they lost their mother because Sam had a vision in which another woman died in what used to be their home. Dean is reluctant to go back with the events that took place the last time they were there, and he tries to avoid anything he possibly could relating to his mother and the house while still trying to help the woman that could be doomed to face the same fate his mother had. When around the house and when taking about his mother, he is jumpy and wants to move on from the subject and leave the place as soon as he can. This makes it more likely that he has PTSD rather than another anxiety disorder because his trigger is specific and rather than general like most anxiety disorders.

Adolescence

The inadequacy Dean feels from his father’s abuse in his early childhood builds in this stage of his life. In Beyond Bruises: The Truth about Teens and Abuse, children that experience abuse begin to believe the remarks they hear from their parental figures and soon come to feel like they are inadequate. Due to this, children begin to see themselves as their abuser sees them instead of understanding what they are like and how they feel themselves. When this happens children may make up a false persona to distract from what happened to them and to get some fulfillment that they are not receiving at home (Gordon 63). In the episode “After School Special,” Sam and Dean return to Truman High School, one of the many schools mentioned in flashbacks throughout the series with their nomadic lifestyle surrounded by hunting, to work a case after a student drowns another student and claims she was possessed and did not have control over her body when the drowning occurred. The brothers go undercover as school employees to discover the ghost of Sam’s bully at the school has been terrorizing the school. Business as usual, they purify and burn the remains for the spirit to pass on. During the flashbacks from this episode, Dean in his time at that high school portrayed himself as a womanizer and has his fair share of girls while he attends that school, and is even called out by one of the girls he wronged about who he actually is rather that who he portrays himself to be (“After School Special”). This “bad boy” and “Devil may care” attitude of his continues to be present well into his adult years to cover up what he feels and hide his vulnerability from the people he cares about. Due to the nomadic lifestyle Dean and his family lived, the emphasis of school from a parent was not set in place and caused him to not even try, knowing that he would be gone in a couple of weeks or months. Along with the lack of emphasis in education, he was more likely to be concerned about Sam’s wellbeing since he was the one taking care of his needs most of the time when John was preoccupied with a hunt and in general (Gordon 63). 

In the episode “Bad Boys,” Dean received a call from an old friend, Sonny, who helped him out during a tough time when he was a teenager. Sonny calls Dean looking for someone to help with his current situation when one of his workers at the boys’ home was mysteriously murdered by a piece of machinery that had not worked in years. When Dean returns to the place he stayed at and called his home for a few months, he begins to remember his time there and how he got there in the first place when he was picked up for shoplifting a loaf of bread and peanut butter at the market. Due to the abuse in Dean’s early childhood, he was more prone to shop lifting and committing a crime later in his juvenile years from the likelihood of children that have experienced abuse committing a crime increasing by fifty-nine percent (Gordon 71). 

Adulthood

The trauma and abuse that Dean Winchester experienced in his childhood affected the relationships he formed as an adult, his self-image, and his mental health. Throughout the series Dean is often clingy to those around him, especially his father and brother, from wanting to seek the validation and acceptance he was hardly ever granted as a child and was instead given the opposite from his father. This is also due to Sam and John being the most consistent things in his life because of their nomadic lifestyle and them being the closest representations of a home that he had growing up and into most of his adulthood. When his father, John, would fulfill his emotional needs, it would be to work for his own personal gain while he was off seeking to avenge his wife’s death, but berating Dean the second he made the smallest mistake or attempted to be a kid. The back-and-forth relationship John had with his son caused Dean to not feel secure in any of his romantic or familial relationships from thinking that everyone would eventually leave him once they realized he was damaged goods. This resulted Dean to grow more colder and attempt to push people away from himself before they realized this, so he would no longer be the one ending up hurt anymore. He also kept the womanizer persona he established during his teen years while engaging in high-risk behavior such as drinking copious amounts of alcohol and having unprotected sex with most flings, he has had throughout most of the seasons in the show as a distraction and coping mechanism for the abuse and neglect he received in his childhood. Having experienced abuse and neglect, Dean was more susceptible to engage in high-risk behaviors like this and more prone to have stress, anxiety, and emotional issues throughout his life (“How Childhood Trauma Affects Us as Adults: Mental Health”).

In adulthood, Dean continues to struggle with the trauma, abuse, and neglect from his childhood and adolescent years. There are multiple reasons this occurs with him being parentified at such an early age by his parents to fulfill their own emotional needs and to take care of his brother and coping with the loss of his mother and the effects it her death had on his father in his early childhood. Also, experiencing neglect and abuse from his father that occurred in his early childhood and adolescence caused him to have long lasting effects into his adulthood from the emotional baggage he has had to deal with.

Works Cited

 “After School Special.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 4, episode 13, The CW, 2009.

 “A Very Supernatural Christmas” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 4, episode 8, The CW, 2007.

“Bad Boys.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 9, episode 7, The CW, 2013.

“Dark Side of the Moon.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 5, episode 16, The CW, 2010.

“Dead in the Water.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 1, episode 3, The WB, 2005.

“How Childhood Trauma Affects Us as Adults: Mental Health.” Mental Health Center, 3 Apr. 2019, https://www.mentalhealthcenter.org/how-childhood-trauma-affects-adult-relationships/. 

Gordon, Sherri Mabry. Beyond Bruises: The Truth about Teens and Abuse. Enslow, 2009.

“Home.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 1, episode 9, The WB, 2005.

“In My Time of Dying.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 2, episode 1, The CW,  2006.

Leverich, Jean Marie. Child Abuse. Greenhaven Press, 2008. 

Lewis, Rhona. “Parentification: What Is a Parentified Child?” Healthline, Healthline Media, 23 Sept. 2021, https://www.healthline.com/health/parentification#instrumental-vs-emotional. 

Loggins, Brittany. “Childhood Trauma in Adults: How to Recognize and Heal from It.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 23 Nov. 2021, https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-childhood-trauma-in-adults-5207979. 

Myers, David G. Myers’ Psychology for AP. 2nd ed., W.H. Freeman, 2014.

“Pilot.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 1, episode 1, The WB, 2005.

Rome, Emily. “'Supernatural' and 'Timeless' Creator Eric Kripke Details the Real-Life Inspirations behind His Fantasy Series.” Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times, 19 Dec.2018, https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-et-st-eric-kripke-timeless-20181219 story.html#:~:text=He%20cites%20Jack%20Kerouac%20and,chase%20reports%20of%20 paranormal%20occurrences.

“Something Wicked.” Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke, season 1, episode 18, The WB, 2005.

“Supernatural.” IMDb, IMDb.com, 13 Sept. 2005, https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460681/?ref_=adv_li_tt.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #mental health #mental illness #trauma #verbal abuse #emotional abuse #neglect #parentification #parentified child

[soullessjack]

hi im tired and in a teeny bit of pain and I’m fed up with jack being used to fix and absolve dean so heres them mutually getting their shit together like they actually should okay goodnight send tweet

#I’ve had this for months but I am so sick and tired of this fandom #so very sick and tired #jack isn’t there to coddle a grown ass man for his traumas please shut the fuck up forever 🤞 #parentifying a man with parentification trauma just bc he isn’t grieving healthily is weird as hell fuck y’all #also LET JACK BE ANGRY ABOUT SHIT #I am. so fucking tired of this place HE IS NOT A RAY OF SUNSHINE GET THAT THRU UR FUCKING SKULLS #sorry if this is mean toned it’s because im being mean and have several contributing factors to my behavior and loss of patience #spn #supernatural #supernatural fic #spn fic #jack kline #dean winchester #dean and jack #dean winchester fic #jack kline fic #fix it fic #except they ACTUALLY FUCKING FIX IT ON BOTH SIDES.

[genderqueersammy]

The most heartbreaking thing is seeing how Dean’s written to be a really fucking messy parentified child (because ofc no child can be a proper parent to another child) who tries and wants to do Sam good and yet fails and yet still loves and cares for Sam so deeply, and then finding out that the fandom wants him to be the same boring eldest child as a perfect parent troupe we’ve seen a hundred times

#you…. don’t want him to traumatise sam? you…. don’t want him to be really fucking awful at it at times? #you just want to pretend that he’s absolutely perfect at being a parent? #you don’t want his idolisation of john to lead to him adopting some of john’s worst traits? #damn…… get better soon #‘child should never have been put in parent role. yes they did so well in that role and were a better parent than anyone else’ UGH #coming out as a hater of the parentified eldest child who is a perfect parent troupe #saying this ​as an oldest child of four who did essentially act like a third parent #i love when eldest siblings are messy and imperfect and dislikabe #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #this is not dean critical he is so fucking hot to me when he’s objectively awful and nobody is sugarcoating it #half asleep idk if this post is coherent #might delete later idk #this also doesn’t mean he was just…. always awful ofc idk why people think people exist in extremes

[nobodymitskigabriel]

But genuinely how have you deluded yourself if you think that Sam doesn't understand Dean better than anyone else.

#fanon's view of parentified dean has cursed all discourse. they are BROTHERS first and foremost #if you really think that sam is convinced his brother is macho mcman who's never read a book then you watched a different show #sam and dean

[failbaby]

In all seriousness I was a parentified older sister and I don’t think Kendall really like. Fits the bill for that. I don’t think there’s any evidence he sees himself in a parental role towards Shiv & Roman or that he was ever expected to take care of them. I think he’s much more of a classic eldest son in that his burden is carrying on his father’s legacy, whereas Connor is more of an “eldest daughter” figure in that Logan doesn’t take him seriously or see him as capable of being a successor, but he’s instead pushed into a caretaker role for his younger siblings

#oc #he loves them and protects them but he doesn’t put their well-being above his own or feel any responsibility for them #if you’ve seen supernatural #(goofy show but Dean Winchester is genuinely an amazing and touching portrayal of a parentified older sibling) #compare Kendall’s relationship with Shiv & Roman to Dean’s relationship with Sam #he doesn’t have that parental dimension to his relationship with his siblings #it’s not an unconditional self-sacrificing love

[twistingsands]

doing a supernatural rewatch with dvds from the library and i forgot how gooooood season one is. what a gorgeous show. they literally light dean’s eyes so they sparkle. i’m loving the deleted scenes and commentary. highly recommend to everyone who grew up with this show and has had their opinions colored by the terrible later seasons.

#spn #supernatural #supernatural season 1 #spn season 1 #jensen ackles #dean winchester #i am… a dean girl #it’s true #it’s the parentified eldest sibling of it all #me #text #original post #original content

[loveofastarvingdog]

just remembered that dean always told sam a joke to distract him and make him smile when he got hurt i think i want to cry

#timothy's txts. #sam winchester #dean winchester #LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry i’m having feelings about being a parentified older sibling #spn #supernatural

[demiboy-dean-winchester]

mikey. supernatural is takingnover my entire brain. i cant be trusted. there are no thoughts. simply dean winchester and his beautiful eyelashes and funky jacket and soft hair. im going to expldoe

why do you think his name is in my url lmao you've come to the right guy

he is everything to me

he IS me

dean winchester my beloved

#asks #supernatural #lou my beloved mutual <3 #im so dean winchester coded #(self sacrificial people pleaser who was parentified as a child)