#once again this all kind of goes back to the writers' weird refusal to let tb have intrapersonal conflict with the exception of daemyra | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaifootsteps · 28 days

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Full Moon anon, ask 2/2

OK, let's go back to these so called defences of Stolas

Blitzo isn't entitled to the book

Blitzo could negotiate his way out of the deal

Blitzo could do another job

it's not coercive because Stolas will give him a month or two off if he's sick/not feeling up to it

Blitzo enjoys sex and is fine making transactional deals/treating sex like a trade to get what he wants

Blitzo should know Stolas cares about him for more than sex because of the list of things he describes Stolas doing in Oops

First one - Blitzo isn't entitled to the book. That's true; it's not Stolas' responsibility or his fault that Blitzo founded a business around having access to the grimoire after he stole it. But I also have seen absolutely no one suggest Blitzo is entitled to the grimoire.

What I have seen them suggest is that Stolas could have proposed literally any other arrangement for the book, or none at all. He could have just taken it back. He could have told Blitzo about the Asmodean Crystals way, way sooner or helped him get one. He could even have punished Blitzo for stealing. Bottom line is, no one forced him to handle the situation by extorting Blitzo for sex despite having no reason to believe Blitzo would have been happy sleeping with him once a month - they had a one night stand then Blitzo started ducking his calls. Stolas assuming Blitzo would be happy trading sex for the book is his own delusion.

Also like - it bothers me no one acknowledges the sketchiness of Stolas mentioning explicitly 'you know how I've been permitting you to access the mortal realm less than legally for some time now?' In Stolas' own words, he let Blitzo have the book with no strings attached for some time, despite knowing it was illegal, and then when Blitzo was starting to get the business off the ground with a client he called up to change up the deal (and again, he waited until Blitzo had no time to think and didn't make it a proper transaction/business discussion).

That's way crueller than if he had just refused Blitzo the book before he'd started the business. Stolas knowingly broke the rules and was irresponsible with the grimoire, presumably because lending out the book gave him an excuse to keep calling Blitzo to do dirty talk over the phone (and then get hung up on, at least back when the pilot was canon). He was already seeing his book as a transactional way to have a one sided thing with Blitzo. Whatever it is he even does with the book as part of his duties he doesn't even care to have it in his possession apart from once every month and he doesn't care enough for the grimoire to protect it. He consistently sees it as a way to get what he wants out of his 'affair' with Blitzo.

Second one - Blitzo could negotiate his way out. This argument is annoying to me, to be honest, bcause it rests entirely on framing the argument through how the writers treat Stolas now and not how they wrote him back in Murder Family. Murder Family Stolas cares so little for Blitzo's well being that he shows zero concern when a gunshot goes off right next to Blitzo's head - given where Blitzo was holding the phone, it should've been pretty darn loud in Stolas' ear but all he has to say is 'then let me keep it simple: give me sex once a month or no book'. Stolas so far has not developed into understanding this was wrong (anyone's guess whether full moon will see him take 100% responsibility for the way he pitched the deal or not), they've just magically retconned him into the kind of person who wouldn't have done that in the first place (or so they tell us, a lot of what we're shown Stolas is like suggests he still has the same classist neglectful habits as s1 - only now we're supposed to think that's funny or Via should shut up whining)

anyway, It's kind of weird to suggest Blitzo should negotiate his way out when Blitzo circa season 1 was dealing with a way crueller, colder Stolas. He had no reason to assume that Stolas would hesitate to punish him for trying to wrangle his way out of the deal, not when he spends the entire Loo Loo Land trip ignoring Blitzo's boundaries and even as late as Truth Seekers (one episode before Stolas goes from just interested in sex to suddenly in love with Blitzo) he hammers home the message to Blitzo that even his help comes with transactional strings when he asks for a thank you for saving Blitzo's life and doesn't balk at Blitzo's assumption that he wants sex. Why would Blitzo, knowing what Stolas is like in s1, even bother trying to reason with him? In Stolas' own words, he's the owl's 'plaything'. You don't negotiate fairly with playthings, you pinch their cheek and put cigarettes out on them.

Third one - Blitzo could do another job. He could, sure. But I find this a weird line of argument since it assumes that it's fine to question Blitzo trying to rise above his station by starting a business that requires access to the human realm, but it's never fine to question why it's OK for Stolas to just be handed the power to get to the human realm. Also, like - going off Blitzo's dialogue about the business not killing people in Hell anymore, it implies maybe the business was based around Hell hits originally but that didn't work out for some reason, so they pivoted to a new USP. And given the economic precarity most imps are in, it's pretty unempathetic to say Blitzo should just give up on his business and get another job when he has a daughter to support and 'another job' in imp terms from everything we've seen in the show likely means low paid menial labor. It's fine for Stolas to have all the money and power that gives him, but Blitzo should be non stop judged for being poor wrong, for daring to want access to resources that were just handed to royalty for no other reason than birthright and succeed past expectations. If he didn't want Stolas extorting him for sex he should have been happy being a farmer providing food for everyone else, or being a butler to someone like Stolas who likes to use them as stress balls when he's mad at his wife!

Fourth one - it's not coercive because Stolas will give him a month or two off. I don't even think this kind of argument deserves dignifying with a response tbh. If Stolas treats Blitzo kindly or cruelly in this arrangement, the arrangement itself is still coercive. If Blitzo cannot easily end it as and when he wants to due to his economic circumstances, it's coercive. The circumstances Stolas used to make the deal were coercive. Period, end of.

Fifth one - Blitzo enjoys sex and is fine making transactional deals/treating sex like a trade to get what he wants. Two things here. We see him seduce Stolas to get the book the first time, but he wasn't actually interested in sleeping with him - he wanted to leave. He went back out of pity; it wasn't his original intention to trade sex for the book. Second, Blitzo enjoying sex doesn't make the circumstances Stolas used to pitch the deal any less coercive. Also, Blitzo enjoying sex with Stolas is very much something written in to season 2. Where is it hinted he actually enjoyed sex with Stolas in s1?? He spends the Loo Loo Land episode rebuffing/being annoyed by Stolas' advances and he's outright indifferent post sex in Harvest Moon (and it visibly gets to him when Striker says he shouldn't have to demean himself to be able to run his business - why is that the case if he enjoys being exploited?). Even in the ending of Truth Seekers it plays more like he's clawing what little power he can back by being the dominant one in the relationship. We see very few instances of Blitzo actually being enthused about sexual advances from Stolas in s1, even in some of the instas covering the deal; I don't think it's good enough to just claim this is tsundere behavior. Also there's a difference in a one time quid pro quo one night stand sort of thing and having a sustained affair whether you want to or not to keep your job going. Blitzo freely and enthusiastically jumped into bed with Chaz, partly to get info from M&M. But he did want to sleep with Chaz. He didn't wince in revulsion when Chaz made a move on him, even if the sex they actually had wasn't great due to Chaz being a loser.

Last one: Blitzo should know Stolas cares about him for more than sex because of the list of things he describes Stolas doing in Oops. So this argument goes that regardless if the audience isn't shown anything suggesting Stolas cares about more than sex from Blitzo, Blitzo should definitely know because of all the stuff he listed when he was ranting to Fizz.

I'm gonna be blunt - this line of argument is just rewarding the writers for lousy writing.

They couldn't be bothered to give the audience the sense Stolas has ever given Blitzo the impression he wants more than sex because he refused to end the deal until s2, so they just have the characters polyfill all that in and expect us to judge Blitzo as cynical or unreasonable based on a new relationship dynamic they retconned in just that second. It's even worse when they have long scrolls of blink and you miss it text messages - not only is it lazy but stans act like they have greater media literacy because they paused to read each message, even though important information like that should be in the actual show and not treated like some kind of bonus easter egg.

And just to drive the point home - even if we want to count all these lazy retcons around what the dynamic between Stolas and Blitzo is, it wouldn't matter all that much because their entire relationship is founded on the full moon deal. Until Stolas does something to end it, it's entirely valid for Blitzo to feel Stolas ultimately just wants sex. If someone takes advantage of the fact you can't freely consent to get you to hastily agree to monthly sex then tries to act sweet after the fact, personally I'd be more inclined to feel annoyed that they want to have it both ways and feel like they're a good person treating me like a romantic partner instead of being honest with themselves about how they've treated me until now. And wouldn't you know it, that's exactly what Blitzo tells him at the end of Ozzie's. And if we're counting blink and you miss is text messages as being valid ways to understand their relationship, there's also a text message from Stolas where he says he's sorry 'if anything he said or did offended Blitzo'. He's not sorry for the actual thing he did wrong; he obviously doesn't understand the problem. So if we're counting the lazy text messages and offscreen phonecalls as 'fixing' their dynamic to being cute and sweet on Stolas' end we also have to count the fact that he currently can't bring himself to understand why what he's doing is wrong.

It'd be like if Fifty Shades of Grey followed up that scene of Christian getting Ana drunk on purpose while they're supposed to be hammering out the dom/sub contract with scenes of him being an asshole who doesn't care about her freely consenting to anything just so long as he gets sex, then they tried to 'fix' all that by showing Ana's text history is full of Christian trying to be lovey dovey (while ignoring what the problem is with him getting her drunk). It doesn't fix the fact that she can't properly consent to the dom/sub lifestyle he wants if he gets her drunk while they're talking about it. If anything the audience would probably feel he was more creepy, not less, because he's engaging in lovebombing behaviors while all we're being shown on screen is him not respecting her consent or her as a person. And then being supposed to judge Anastasia for it and not Christian!

sorry for the long rant, it's just - Stolas defending arguments are like hydra. every time one is dismantled a bunch more worse and disturbingly victim-blamey ones pop up in their place. I'm honestly glad I'm giving up on the show for good after the next ep - mostly I'm just rubbernecking to see how bad they're gonna mess the 'breakup' episode up

You don't know how cathartic every last word of this precious sanity was to read. Gonna keep it on hand, when I need reminding that the world isn't completely hopeless.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #stolitz critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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stxleslyds · 3 years

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MY THOUGHTS ON TITANS’ RED HOOD,

BEFORE WATCHING THE LAST EPISODE.

I will start by saying that I haven’t been able to watch the show, these are my thoughts after reading a very well-written and detailed review of the last episode. The review is also written by someone that enjoys the show, this is important because my thoughts don’t align with theirs.

I understand that Titans is known for being garbage, I know their writing is messed up, and I had no hope whatsoever for them to actually write a good Jason Todd/Red Hood story. I would also like to make clear that this post is in no way hate towards the actor playing Jason, this post is just my thoughts on Jason’s characterization.

What I really don’t like is these shows/movies taking the names of loved characters and making an “original character” out of them. Yes, there are different takes of the character and you can build their story differently but I do feel that what they did with Jason is beyond all that. They twisted every concept from his origin and his story, nothing really fits, but someway, somehow, they still managed to push all the wrong narratives when it comes to Robin Jason.

Two of the most horrible narratives that DC has decided to push are “Robin Jason was reckless and a troubled kid that never did what he was told” and “Jason Todd is to blame for his death”.

The show does push the one where Jason is reckless. Jason is consumed by fear, and Bruce Wayne pays attention to that but he doesn’t only do that, he also offers comfort and help, he tries to make Robin Jason go to therapy.

This is huge, they build up the perfect scenario for Jason to not become the Red Hood. But for some reason, they decided to make Jason reckless and too eager to prove that he didn’t need that kind of help. And then they didn’t help Jason’s case because they wrote their Bruce as a caring father that does not want to see his son get hurt or end up dead.

This Bruce Wayne is doing everything that comics Bruce Wayne didn’t. This Bruce cares, so once more, one would think that this Jason wouldn’t become the Red Hood. But, surprise! Jason Todd doesn’t take well the news of him not being able to be Robin anymore.

Here is the thing, if you were Bruce in this situation, would you let this Jason continue to be Robin when he is a danger to himself? I know I wouldn’t.

Here is where Titans’ terrible writing reaches its peak. They have a vulnerable and reckless Jason try to prove that he can still be Robin by working on *something* that can take his fears away. Jason Todd wants to make a drug, let that one sink in.

Jason Todd wants to make something that is basically a drug. Did Titans really erase the fact that Jason’s mother overdosed? Because that’s one of the most important things in Jason’s life and that built up his hate for drugs and what they do to people. His mother was in an abusive relationship and that led her to do drugs and later led her to her own death.

This might not sound too important to other people but to me, it’s something that has always been important to Jason’s character before and after his death.

Going back to the actual show, Jason goes to Scarecrow, willingly, and asks him to make him a drug that will make him don’t feel fear. I know that this Jason is vulnerable and that he probably thinks that therapy isn’t working for him, but why on earth would Jason think that making Scarecrow make a drug for him would be a good idea?

How does that make sense? The show is basically telling us that Jason had a support system and that he was going to therapy because Bruce wouldn’t want to lose his SON. Why does this show go far and beyond to make Jason look reckless and dumb?

This is not me comparing Comics Jason to Titans Jason anymore, this is me finding Titans’ logic unnecessarily stupid, they really went out of their way to write pure stupidity.

Why would they write Bruce as a caring father and as actively working so Jason can be in a better mental state so he won’t lose him as his son if they are also going to write Jason as an incredibly reckless man? Are we supposed to be on Bruce’s side? Because as of now, Bruce is the only one with brain cells.

There is absolutely no way to compare that to comics because in comics Bruce neglected Jason’s needs and refused to see that Jason had different morals even back then, and that neglect was key in Jason jumping onto the idea that he needed someone that he could call family and actually care for him. He wanted love and attention from a parental figure because he didn’t feel like he had one. Robin wasn’t everything that Jason was, he was also a kid with normal needs.

So, you build that completely different and actually give Jason the support that he also wanted in the show but for some reason, he is fiercely attached to Robin even though his fear comes from the fact that he almost died for being Robin. There is no logic to this Jason’s actions and that isn’t on Jason it's on the writers’ incredibly garbage writing. It is like they come up with ten different ideas and they put all of them but none of them are actually solid and well-developed concepts.

And you can’t tell me to get over it because “Titans has always had bad writing, there were two seasons of bad writing”. Listen, if you are happy to consume media that is badly written then that’s on you, Jason is one of my favorite characters, I don’t want him to be written badly just because that’s the show’s style. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with me wanting writers to actually care about the characters they are writing for, all three seasons have had different writers, is it really so far-fetched for me to want one of these people to write something that makes sense?

Jason's death was tragic in both comics and the show, and he was a victim in both of them, yes. But the show really pushes the limits of that, Jason wanted to take something to make him not fear, he looked for Scarecrow (not Dr. Jonathan Crane, Scarecrow, and he was an already established villain) to make him this drug when he couldn’t make it himself. He trusted Scarecrow (for some weird reason) and then as a test he went to fight Joker? It’s tragic because it ended with Jason dying but it's also tragic because the writing is just bad. It just is, and that is a problem for me.

From then on, we have the “big connection” to comics, the Lazarus Pit! Wow, you guys did it, yeah, everyone loves the Lazarus Pit, every time I think about Jason, I only think about that one time in which he was thrown in a Lazarus Pit to recover his mental injuries or all of his injuries after he came back from the dead.

This Jason has no training, there is no Talia, no League of Assassins, no Ducra or All-Castle, there is only Scarecrow and his new puppet, the Red Hood.

It changes everything and I don’t like it. Once again, I understand and know the concept of the multiverse, the various earths, and the Elseworlds, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like this take on Jason Todd/Red Hood along with its horrendous writing.

I don’t have to like it, just like I understand that others do like it because it is their first contact with the character or because they are fine, as fans of the character, with a new take. I am not gatekeeping Jason Todd or Red Hood; I am just saying that my being angry at this version and absolutely hating it is just as valid as liking this version of Jason.

Red Hood in Titans is just Scarecrow’s puppet, that’s how things are, and I just think that it is too big of a change from the original reasons for Jason to become Red Hood. And I will never get tired of saying this, Red Hood wasn’t only all about the Joker killing him and Batman not killing the Joker. The Red Hood was Jason’s way to make things work, to prove to Bruce that Batman wasn’t enough for Gotham. Red Hood came back to Gotham to stop bad people from introducing children to drugs and to make Gotham’s people feel safe.

He thought that Red Hood was the better version of Batman for Gotham and its people.

But I am not blind, I can see how Titans can twist it again to give us Red Hood as a protector of children and Gotham in general. I can see the “I used to do drugs and now I will fight so no other person goes through the same”, I see it and I am aware of it but it does also bring me to my other problem with Titans and DC in general: story swapping.

Story Swapping is something that DC loves to do, they thrive when they make change people’s origins for others and when they take character traits from one character to another.

And Titans’ Jason Todd is just that, he has characteristics and plot concepts from Dick Grayson and if what I just predicted happens then he will have some of Roy Harper's characteristics. And that is exactly what Lobdell did, but somehow, they managed to get different results. I cannot praise Titans for giving us a new Red Hood origin because they made his characterization with the help of other character’s origins and/or stories.

This is the first time that we see a live-action Jason Todd/Red Hood, was it really that hard to just stick to his origins as both Robin and Red Hood? There is so much to explore from Jason, there is so much between his death and him becoming Red Hood, from both before and after New 52.

Jason becoming Red Hood under the influence of Scarecrow in moths is lazy, bland and an insult to Jason’s character. They could have done things by the book and then explore things that we have never seen before in a show or movie.

Jason has had so much training outside of Gotham, why did Titans think that they could do acceptable work at bringing this amazingly complex character in a show that has nothing to do with him.

They could have had him killed in the Titans show and then wait and make a Red Hood show to actually tell a good story. What is Jason Todd doing in a show that is called Titans? Where are the Titans? They chose the most recognizable Titans’ line-up and they are not using it. They butchered Garth and Donna and for what?

DC gets away way too much with selling their stupid shows and movies by telling us that x character will appear but then when you watch the thing for that x character, they are nowhere to be seen. That’s exactly what they did with Cassandra Cain and what they are doing with Red Hood.

I don’t know how this tv show is doing, I only know that as a non-American that pays the same money for an HBO Max subscription, I don’t get to see any Titans content, not even a miserable trailer.

But I know that if non-comic readers are watching it, they will love it and if they actually were to start reading comics because of the show, then they wouldn’t find that Jason there. So, either that leads to Jason’s characterization being messed up even more within comics or it does nothing for Jason or comics.

To end this post, I just want to bring up the animated movie Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010).

That movie was widely praised and loved by critics, comic readers, and non-comic readers. It was fantastic, the story was amazing (even though it had differences with the comic, one might say that the differences improved the story), the voice acting was phenomenal, everything was done beautifully. Do you know what made it that way? The writing.

And you know who wrote the animated movie? The same person who wrote the comic the movie is based on, Judd Winick.

With that I am not saying that Titans should have had Judd write for them, what I am saying is that given the fact that they are using a pre-existing character they should chat with the Red Hood’s creator or even the writer that wrote for him for ten years after the character came back to comics.

This show obviously didn’t do that though, they preferred to write Jason Todd/Red Hood as if he were a Titans original character, but the thing is, from where I see it Titans didn’t give us an OC, they gave us an OOC.

So, to sum it all up, I hate Titans’ version of Jason Todd/Red Hood, I think that it is not only badly written but there is also no real logic to what they are trying to do so far. I am also tired of their bad and lazy writing in general. And I would have liked the Titans’ writers to actually respect the Red Hood lore because if they had I would have actually been excited about a Red Hood spin-off show.

Using the material that is available to you isn’t a crime, building from that material is the best thing that they could have done, but all they really wanted to do was use Red Hood’s name to get more money from a dying show.

It makes the show look cheap and actually not interested in giving us good stories, and no, I wasn’t expecting Captain America: The Winter Soldier levels of good writing or good changes to a very loved story/characters, I was actually expecting some Lobdell writing level and the way I see it we ended up getting something worse.

These are all my opinions. You can like, love, or dislike this version of Jason and the show as much as you want but you won’t find any form of love towards the show in this blog, at least not right now.

MY THOUGHTS ON TITANS’ RED HOOD,

AFTER WATCHING THE LAST EPISODE.

Well, I will start this part by saying: Sorry. I am sorry that I believed that Titans’ Red Hood was bad, it is actually worse than bad.

I was so wrong on many things, that review really made me think that things weren’t that bad but I still hated what I read. Now that I have watched the episode because I wanted this post to be extra honest and to stop myself from saying stupid stuff, I can also say that I hated what I watched.

This show really validates the two most horrible narratives that DC has been pushing for Jason: “he was a reckless Robin that didn’t think about his actions” and “he was to blame for his own death”

Jason Todd wasn’t a victim of Scarecrow, this Jason Todd took every single bad decision that he could, and those decisions led him to his death. No sympathy for this man.

Also, this Jason is like 19? He doesn’t look younger than that, but that’s not the point, what I am trying to point out is that this Robin is extremely underprepared, he lacks training and the mental capacity to stop acting like an edge lord every time he opens his mouth. He is annoying.

And I was wrong about Titans erasing the plotline of Jason’s mother dying of an overdose, she did die that way and this Jason spoke of her as if he hated her. What is going on? This Jason really doesn’t make me feel an ounce of sympathy for him. This attitude of “no one understands my pain” when everybody is trying to help you doesn’t make you look cool or anything of the sort, it makes you look annoying.

It is even worse because this Jason is so immature and reckless that he made his friend Molly (that is just a normal teen with no training) go after a thug with him, while he was not mentally well. He made that decision for them and put himself and her in danger. If that scene had gone any other way, then Jason could have been guilty of getting his friend injured or killed.

Jason Todd is so incredibly dumb; he is not a child but he acts like one every step of the way.

Nothing makes sense in his whole ass interaction with Bruce in front of the theatre, it’s like Jason refuses to listen to what Bruce tells him, well not that he refuses to listen it is more like a “Telefono descompuesto” I don’t know if you guys have that game but you basically have to tell something in someone’s ear and then the person repeats what they understood to the next and so on, what you said is heavily distorted by the end of the game. In this scene that is exactly what happens but it’s between two people.

When Jason accuses Bruce of not taking away Robin from Dick, Bruce says something along the lines of “I learned from my mistakes” and Jason says “so, I am a mistake now?”. Jason, use your ears, if Bruce says that he learned from his mistakes when talking about Dick, then his mistake was what he did with Dick. The writing is so bad, it's actually painful and it is even worse because the acting is bad, but I can’t blame the actors, it must really be hard to make a scene work when the writing is that bad. (Also, the unnecessary pauses, and the sounds that they play after they say something stupid, it is too funny).

Do you know what made me cringe? When they were having the chat in the theatre, in my mind all I could hear was “if you are nothing without the suit then you shouldn’t have it”, not me quoting Tony Stark in my head! I haven’t even watched that movie! But it fits perfectly for that scene.

The interaction with Scarecrow was more than dumb, if Jason was already acting like a child, now, he is basically acting like a toddler. Scarecrow saw right through him in seconds and just as fast decided that he was going to have fun with his new toy. He gave him a formula that wasn’t quite correct even though it looked like he knew exactly how to make the reverse version of his fear gas. This Jason has zero detective or survival skills but we already knew that when he made himself get captured and tortured by Deathstroke.

Anyway, all the interactions with Scarecrow were allowed to happen because this Jason can’t put two and two together. He convinces himself that everyone is out to get him, dude, Bruce is a detective and he also has eyes, Leslie didn’t tell him anything. If I were Bruce, you wouldn’t be able to be Robin anymore either.

I understand that Jason is not in a good mental place and that he wants to make his fears go away, but he had support, people around him were trying to get him help, trying to make him understand that he was hurting himself. His over-the-top anger and recklessness are unjustified when you refuse to take the help that is being offered to you.

He made terrible decisions for selfish purposes and that got him killed.

This is one of the last things I want to say, Scarecrow either didn’t need Jason at all to get out of Arkham or the writers made an oopsie because at the end of the episode he had someone helping him put Jason in the Lazarus Pit and then he was out of Arkham and he had a suit ready for Jason and everything. How did he manage all that? No idea.

The Lazarus Pit, yeah, I am sorry to be that person but the Pit can’t bring back people from the dead, it can only restore or heal physical and mental injuries (however grave they were), but Lobdell messed that one up already and Titans really didn’t have time to write a single good scene so what was I expecting?

Anyway, the last thing I wanted to say is that I know why Jason or Red Hood seems to not be affected by the drug when he sees Molly at the end of the episode, it is because the executive producer of the show is Geoff Johns! He loves making Jason fall for girls and get all mushy and dumb, do you guys remember how dumb he got when he left with Rose?

Jason being written as the kind of guy that acts like a love-sick puppy with a girl but also screams at her when he gets mad is peak Geoff Johns. So, if you were wondering where that came from, well, there it is.

Yeah, that is all I had to say, honestly if you have read this whole post then you are one strong individual, I am sorry I put you through all my thinking and rambling. You didn’t really deserve that.

I didn’t want to delete the first part of the post because I talked about so much more than the show and my thoughts before watching the episode still stand. I hope this post isn’t too confusing. As always you can think the complete opposite of me about the show or anything, I am just writing my thoughts.

Having said all that, I hope all of you, Titans’ lovers, haters, and people that simply do not care, have a wonderful week!

#jason todd #red hood #titans s3 #titans #anti titans

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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What I Thought About "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" from The Owl House

Wow. They are really pushing it for that secret message, huh?

Anywho--Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

I think it goes without saying at this point that Season Two of The Owl House is setting itself up as a season without filler. Now, filler episodes aren't always bad. Yes, it hurts when a series turns away from the main plot for a week. But at best, they're utilized as a chance for the writers to play around with the characters and developing said characters without it relating to the overarching story. So, some people who see that consider it a bad thing that a series doesn't have that many filler episodes.

I like to call those people: F**king morons.

Don't get me wrong, I see where some of you are coming from. And I'd be willing to agree...if The Owl House was a plot-driven series. Which it's not. It is a character-driven series. Because for every plot thread and narrative that the show presents, they always relate to the characters and develop them further each time these threads get brought up. For example, look at "Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty's Door" (It pains me just to write that). Several narratives move forward, and it’s all done to make the characters grow. And to explain how requires going into spoilers. So keep that in mind as you continue reading.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Hooty: Might as well start with the character that this episode is about.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't a huge fan when I found out we're getting a Hooty-centered episode. I've grown to love him over time, but he is a comedic character that's best used in small doses. Primarily due to how his voice is grating to me (My ears are still bleeding...). With that said, I do really love his contributions in "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (Seriously, there couldn't have been a less awkward title?). Hooty's antics when trying to help everyone are as hilarious as they are heartwarming. He deeply cares for his friends but just doesn't understand how his plans could do some unintended harm, which is pretty lovable if you ask me. We also get some surprisingly great insight into his character, as he feels insecure about basically being the comic relief who doesn't really do that much other than being funny. Rarely do you get that level of dimension from a comedic character, and it's even more uncommon for that to work out as well as it does here. It once again proves just how competent the writing is in this series to the point where we get an episode about Hooty, and it's funny and heartwarming instead of being annoying. And whoever is responsible for that, you're the best.

Lilith’s Letter to Hooty: I mean it when I say that I love how Lilith kept her word about her and Hooty becoming penpals. Their friendship was something I would have never expected to love, and I'm still shocked that it works so well, so seeing it continue like this just warms me to the bone. Plus, it is pretty sweet that Lilith's kind words are what inspired Hooty to do what he's done in this episode...meaning it's Lilith we should thank here--SON OF A WITCH! Even when she's gone, she's still working her way into my heart!

King going through Puberty: What?! KING IS EVOLVING!

(There, I made a Pokemon reference. Do I get my cookie now?)

Eda Keeping Herself Awake to Train Herself: I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that this has everything to with Raine getting captured last week. If Eda was still the most powerful witch in the Isles, she might have actually saved them. But she isn't, and now the love of her life is in the clutches of a tyrant planning something that could potentially be the end of everything. So I can understand Eda pushing herself to her limit to get back on top again, as I would probably do the same. It's not healthy in any way, and Eda would be doing more harm than good. But when it comes to the people you love, logic doesn't always win out in the end.

Luz Wanting to Make her Way into Amity’s Heart by Making the Echo Mouse Happy: ...That's it. I Just...I just love everything about it, ok?

This was also when I knew that I was wrong to doubt that there would be zero Lumity in this episode. I realize my follies now, and I humbly apologize.

Hooty Teaching King About Demons: This was so funny. So, so funny. Probably doesn't come as a surprise, especially since The Owl House proves itself as a comedy before, but the jokes have never hit as frequently and as hard as they did here. From Hooty getting offended by King's dance to him and Dana's insert wanting a "DNA sample," everything managed to successfully make me lose my s**t. It does come at the expense of King suffering, but I can stomach that much more than if it were Eda or Luz. And, as a bonus, we get lore about how demons work, added with another great joke of King getting in trouble with Hooty for saying he already knows this stuff. Humor isn't always the show's strong suit, but when it works, it f**king works.

King Wanting to Know What he Is: But despite how funny King's vignette was, we still get to see more of his character grow. We learn that he's frustrated now that there's this big question mark over his life now, feeling extra angry that his father "abandoned" him to leave such a present mystery. It shows the hidden resentment he has that Lilith inadvertently brought out, made even worse when King's father hasn't responded to the video yet. King hasn't really gotten that much development until "Echoes of the Past," so it's pretty cool that the writers haven't really slowed down on it. Especially when it leads to these great moments of King venting his frustrations.

King’s Shouting Powers: KING learned FUS RO DAH!

(And now that's a Pokemon reference AND a Skyrim reference. WHERE'S MY GOSH DANG COOKIE!?)

Eda’s Nightmare: If King's vignette hits you hard with the laughs, Eda's will absolutely hit you harder with the feels (never make me say "feels" unironically again). Knowing that Eda's life got thoroughly screwed over by the curse is something we could figure out on her own. But seeing just how much the curse ruined her life and tore apart relationships that mean the world to her really does a swell job at ripping apart the soul. What's even more tragic is, technically speaking, it's all sort of Eda's fault too. She kept hiding the curse, refusing to be a burden to others who would do all they could to help. If she had only been open and honest, things probably wouldn't have changed much, but they most likely would have been better than they are now.

Eda Attacked her Father as the Owl Beast: ...I don't know what I was expecting when "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" hinted that there was some possible tension between Eda and her father...but it definitely wasn't this.

The fact that we see blood where his eye used to be doesn't make things any happier, either.

Raine Broke Up with Eda: Before we get into anything else, let's celebrate the fact that it's now confirmed that Eda and Raine really did use to date in the past. Because this show is just f**king phenomenal with its LGBTQA+ representation!

But, seriously, this is a fantastic reveal that goes far beyond just shipping...well, sort of. It shines a new light on Eda and Raine's interactions from last week, revealing that while they're not a couple anymore, they still very much love each other. It helps make their last interaction especially tragic, as they were both on the same page now and could very well be together again. Only for them to be forced apart for the second time in a way that's much worse than the first. And I frickin' adore that this series changes the impact of one episode one week later. Again, it shows just how competent these writers are, and kudos to them for making something so...perfect.

The Moon Person: WHO THE FU--Nope. Nope! We have more than enough mystery bulls**t to deal with through CreepyLuz and Philip Wittebane, so I am PUTTING YOU ON THE BACKBURNER FOR NOW!

(They're probably nothing more than a one-off character, anyway)

The Owl Beast and Eda are Connected: Through visuals alone, we, the audience, can clue into what the curse really means. The Owl Beast doesn't want to be a part of Eda as much as she doesn't want it to be a part of her. Whether they like it or not, and they very much don't, they're stuck together. The thing is, and this is what I love the most, they still decide to make the best of their situation rather than let it ruin their lives even more. This might be the best possible turn Eda's curse could have made. It'll still affect her, and there are probably more negatives than positives, but at least now, it's not the worst thing in the world. And I feel like that's all anyone can ask when in a position like her own.

Eda's “Pretty Dream”: I don't know what emotions are toiling inside me more with this moment. Awe and wonder over how beautiful Eda's dream is, or heartbreak over the implication that she has only had nightmares since getting cursed...I'm gonna say both. Yeah, it's definitely both.

Eda’s Harpie Form: Well, fan artists are gonna have a field day with this...especially the freaks.

(You know who you are. And you're weird!)

Luz Calling Amity a “Cotton-Candy Haired Goddess”: ...Have I ever mentioned how much I love this show?

Hooty Kidnapped Amity: ...Hooty, if your stupidity wasn't charming, I would be more than willing to call the authorities over how you kidnapped a girl in your version of a knapsack and locked her in the basement. For that is going to ring SO MANY alarm bells in people's heads.

Amity and Luz Stuck in a Tunnel of Love: *Smacks lips* Mmm. The adorable awkwardness of this moment is just *chef's kiss* magnifique!

Luz being afraid of getting made fun of:

Amity’s look of hope: I mean...just...f**king--LOOK AT HER:

That is the look of a girl who, while embarrassed as hell, still is ecstatic to learn for a brief moment, everything that she is hoping for has a high chance of being real. Who, in their right mind, wouldn't go "Aw!" at something so pure and innocent?!

Luz Destroying the Tunnel of Love: This is how to effectively utilize dramatic irony. The audience can understand why Luz is tearing the place apart because she explicitly states that she's afraid of Amity rejecting her in the end. They also know that's bogus, thus making it extra painful to watch Amity's heart break more and more with each second (which is perfectly represented through Amity's expressions). You feel bad for both of them, and even worse when you know that it can easily be prevented by the simple art of communication. That's what makes it great dramatic irony. Knowing the point of view of each character results in a scene that evokes emotions in two different ways.

Hooty’s Breakdown: This was...genuinely hard to watch. Not that it was badly written, far from it. It just...hurt seeing how destroyed Hooty was when he realized he failed the people he has such an admiration for. On the upside, a wholesome moment follows soon after as the Owl House gang tries to reassure Hooty that he's done a lot of good that night. It's a pure action that shows even though Hooty gets on their nerves all the time, they still care about him...damn it. I think I'm gonna cry.

Eda’s Advice for Luz: ...Eda...You're the best.

You found out that your surrogate daughter wants to ask a girl out, and not only were you quick to deliver the best possible advice ("Just go for it!"), but you also quickly reassure her that it doesn't need to be perfect.

And you know what? That's it. Eda is the best cartoon mom! She might not technically be Luz's mom, but I don't give a s**t because she is the best!

Luz and Amity Ask Each Other Out: Shh-sh-sh-sh...

Do you hear that?

...

...It's the sound of dozens of Lumity fans collectively losing their s**t...and I'm one of them.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

IT!

IS!

CANON!

AH-HAHAHAHAHA!

HOLY S**T! Holy s**t! Holy s**t...might just be the best way I could possibly describe this! Finally, after all the waiting, speculating, and praying, THESE TWO IDIOTS FINALLY GOT TOGETHER! AND IT WAS PERFECT! I mean, it was awkward as s**t, but that's what makes it perfect! You know why? You wanna--Hey! *snaps fingers*. You want to know why? It's because they're teenagers. Of f**king course, it's going to be awkward! This is their first relationship, so there will be a lot of missteps along the way. And that, in itself, brings me to the best (second best part?) thing about it happening in episode eight of the new seasons. Most endgame couples get together in the climax or even at the end of the series. But to have them get together this early on, means there will be quite a few episodes dedicated to showing them grow as a couple.

And better than that--EVEN F**KING BETTER THAN THAT--dozens of kids are going to see these two, a realistic depiction of young love that just so happens to involve two girls, and are going to learn once and for all that there is nothing wrong with being who they are. That fact alone is f**king incredible. Yes, it sucks that season three got cut short, and we'll have even less time with Luz and Amity, but knowing how many kids have felt seen today almost makes it worth it in the end.

And if I see one mother f**ker saying this was poorly paced, I might just hunt them down for SPORT...Sorry if that was an overreaction. I'M JUST SO HAPPY! Because they're happy! Look at them. Listen to them! It's so...GAH-HAHAHA!

“They’re adorable! And deserve all the happiness!”: You're darn right, Hooty! You're darn right.

King’s Father(?) Shows Up: What the--WHAT?! They're doing this now?! Here?! After everything else?

Oh, man. What could this mean? What dynamic changes will this cause in the main cast? How could the writers fit this in during the next two episodes? And what--

Hooty Eats the Letter: ...Pfffft--HAHAHAHA!

Oh, man...I should be mad, and I wouldn't blame others if they are...but that is too much of a brilliant f**k you that I can't help but appreciate it. Bravo writers. Bravo.

WHAT I DISLIKED

...Dislikes? Dislikes? You would honestly believe that after everything I witnessed in this episode, that I would have the gull to list anything wrong with it?!

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD BE SO CALLUS TO--Actually, I do kind of have an issue with the episode's title. It's just too much of an awkward mouthful for me to get behind. I understand that the writers wanted to sneak the K into the secret message, but were there really no other titles starting with K that they couldn't come up with?

But that's just a personal issue, and in no way do I think anybody else would feel the same way. Especially with how well-written everything else is anyway.

IN CONCLUSION

"Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (title aside) is another A+ episode. It was hilarious, heart-wrenching, and downright adorable while keeping me entertained with every minute. I'm sure there are some issues I was willing to ignore due to how expertly written everything else was, but why bother looking for the chinks in the armor when I could just enjoy a perfect episode for being so...perfect! Some of you might be willing to disagree with me, but to that, I say: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go lie down. It's...It's been a day.)

#the owl house #the owl house season 2 #the owl house reviews #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #toh hooty #king clawthorne #eda clawthorne #raeda #luz noceda #amity blight #lumity #lumity is canon #what i thought about

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delicatewerewolfsoul · 3 years

Text

Full Circle - Han Jisung

–pairing: han jisung x reader, life savior seungmin, (popular boy hyunjin, felix and minho making an appearance)

–genre: fluff, idiots/best friends to lovers au,

–word count: 3,8 k

–synopsis: jisung had exactly three days to make you his, and he'll do everything he could to make it happen.

–for the dear skz, with love event by @districtninewriters make sure to check the works of the other writers!

Lilacs: when lilacs have a light purple color, they represent first love and new begginings

The bell rings once again after another boring class in the middle of a peaceful Wednesday but Jisung doesn’t move an inch from where he’s sitting, his hands supporting his head as his eyes closed, sleeping far more entertaining than any weird information the teacher shared with all of you. Wednesday’s were always hard for Jisung since he had three classes different than yours that day. He couldn’t concentrate at all, he had no energy to spend, and honestly he didn’t want to either. He found these classes useless after all, since he already knew what he’ll do after this ended, and no one of these was part of it. That day his ears seemed far more used to the loud sound of the bell that doesn’t move an inch.

He was shaken out of his slumber violently, in his opinion, after something hits the back of his head, only for it to be a ball of paper, thrown at him by his classmate Felix that sat right behind him.

“Hey bro, class finished a while ago, why are you still here?” Felix says confused because his usually enthusiastic, bright friend was suddenly sulking more than usual that fine Wednesday while looking at a notebook at his hands that was clearly too neat to be his, so he guessed it was yours.

“But it’s boring without y/n… They have a big assignment with their chemistry class and they spend most of their time with them… And I don’t want to cling to them and be annoying” he says propping his head on his arms as he was looking at his friend that was about to laugh, it really looked as if Jisung’s life depended on how close you were and what you were doing. He remembers when once he said y/n is my oxygen half jokingly and Minho was about to throw a book on his head of disgust making everyone laugh. Truth was, that he was in too deep and too hard, from as long as he remembers. From the moment you met, when you held his hand in primary school to pull him out of the mud hole he had fallen and then taken to his home, only to find out that your parents are friends so that meant that you would probably spend more time together. And from that moment you were attached to the hip, the beauty and the nuisance as he would say himself (even though you scolded him every time he called himself that), following you around.

“Still, let’s go outside okay? I’m sure the others are already outside. And you need fresh air, stand up lover boy” patting his friends back and going out with the sulking boy following behind. Felix was right after all, he needed to be out and if he acted like that, then his other friend would feel like they weren’t worthy to him and was equally as bad. He stepped outside of the school to the big green area where big tables were placed so students could study.

“Took you long enough, what happened?” says Minho as the two of them step closer to their usual table where all of you sit during your breaks studying or laughing around.

“Lover boy here was refusing to let his desk alone, and he slept during class too” Felix said as he took a seat across Minho. Honestly he just wanted to sleep the day away, this specific day was too tiring for him to handle… But the others would never know that.

“I think I know the reason” Minho says, looking at his left, his gaze falling at the center of the yard where the table you were sitting with your classmates were. Jisung understands where he’s looking and turns to look as well. And his eyes land on you as you talk to your classmates, probably planning something he guesses from the way you look at them. As expected from his y/n… Well, not his, but yeah. He smiles shyly at the thought, feeling his face heating up. He then sees you waving at him, with a smile on your face, probably feeling his eyes on you and he waves back smiling as well. And that’s when he sees a very familiar figure going closer to you.

Someone tall with his hands in his pockets comes behind, and stops behind you. Hwang Hyunjin? What would the most popular kid in school want with a person that was kind of on the nerdy side, like you? What he’s about to hear will get him very surprised.

“y/n, go on a date with me” says Hyunjin and the whole school goes silent.Jisung’s hand stays midair and it can be seen all around his face how much he was panicking at that exact moment. Jisung breaths in as he also waits for your answer, but as he pays attention more to your expressions he already knows what your answer will be. The slight bite of your lip, the way you played with your fingers all showed how you would actually say yes, he knew you too well. “Y-yes” you say silently and Hyunjin smiles. “Okay then! I’ll pick you up on Friday, at 7pm” he says and leaves as quickly as he came.

Jisung feels as if an arrow went through his chest. Why Hwang Hyunjin out of all people? He was so tall and pretty, he knew he wasn't a match to him. He couldn't just accept this though, he had to do something. He had to do something and he had to do it fast. There was a problem though, he definitely couldn't do it face to face, so he had to find another way. And then an idea comes to mind. He remembers the movie you two watched the other day. Letters. That was the plan. After school, when only the kids on duty would be there, he would tiptoe to your locker and silently, put the letter in it.

And that's what he did. After classes ended, he said goodbye to his dear friends and when the school seemed almost empty, he went close to your locker.

"What are you doing?" Jisung hears someone say behind him and with how nervous he is, he somehow manages to hit his head on the locker while trying to put the letter in it quickly, before turning around to see an unamused Seungmin looking at him with a book in his arm, probably headed towards the library. As expected from the class president, always being annoying and having to appear at the worst times ever. It's not that he didn't like him, it was just that… He shouldn't be there at this time.

"Hey Seungmin, I'm… Good, how are you?" he answers back, a forced smile on his face, as he already feels himself starting to sweat, trying to find a way to get rid of him. His plan was definitely not going the way he wanted to.

"That's y/n's locker right? And what's with that letter?" Seungmin asks even though he already knows what's happening. He wants to laugh at the boy in front of him but he contains himself, as he knows that Jisung might have a breakdown at the state he is currently at. "Let me help you. I'll make sure nothing dumb like this ever happens"

"How come you aren't taking Hyunjin's side?" Jisung says, a little amused by the offer.

"Honestly, Hyunjin might have the looks and the brains, but you have the heart so you win that one" says Seungmin without really thinking about it much, the answer obvious to him.

"I don't know if I should be happy or offended but anyways, thanks for the offer, I appreciate it" Jisung says and smiles at him. “Even if I don’t know how you even know I like them”

“Are you kidding me?” answers Seungmin stopping at his tracks. “You were painfully obvious, I’m really shocked how they didn’t notice that themselves. I’m shocked at how I didn’t even see you once drool, I swear you were about to when they…”

“Okay, enough! I got it, it was obvious, can we please stop this?” says Jisung scratching the back of his head. Was he actually that obvious? he bites his lip in thought. What if you actually noticed and didn’t do anything cause you didn’t actually want to be anything more than friends? He shakes his head to get these thoughts out of it. There’s no backing away now, not when he already had put a well thought letter into your locker.

"So… What are you going to do when they get the letter tomorrow?" Asks Seungmin, as they walk back in class, getting him out of his thoughts.

"I don't know… Faint?" Says Jisung and Seungmin would almost hit him, if he didn't have in mind his good reputation. "I didn't write much though, it will be more in the next letter".

"I'll talk to them then, and see what they think. And you just… Relax weirdo, you'll get caught that way".

The next day you arrive as normal at school, kinda early as always, as you loved walking in the morning breeze and of course there was no reason to run towards class when you take your time and enjoy the chilly mornings. You open your locker and something falls on the floor. You pick it up and you open it and proceed to read it:

Dear y/n,

you’re surprised aren’t you? I know this is kinda sudden and this was kinda urgent for my side as well. I would reach out to you sooner, orI would make a move spooner but it’s fair to say that I was a coward. But as the circumstances are right now, I have to move fast. Let’s say I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, I’ve always been looking out for you and taking care of you. I’ve tried too hard to get rid of the feelings for the sake of you, but it was too hard. A new letter will reach you soon, please anticipate it

–your secret admirer

A secret admirer? That was new for sure. And why now out of all times? As you go to crumble and throw away the letter, you feel a hand on your shoulder.

“I wouldn’t do this if I was you. This somehow seems important, don’t you want to know who this is from?” you turn around and see no other than Kim Seungmin, looking at you straight in the eyes.

“Seungmin? Were you reading this all this time? Why are you here? Do you know who this is from?” you say looking around to spot any abnormal activity around you. You miss the way Jisung turns to hide behind a big column on your right. He feels his knees giving out as he waits for Seungmin to return and finally tell him what’s happening.

After a few minutes he feels a hand on his shoulder and he would scream if he didn’t know who it was. He stands up and clears his throat as he turns to talk to his friend.

“What happened?” he says, looking at him with anticipation as they walk back in class. Seungmin laughs as he looks at him, he didn’t want to admit it, but he liked Jisung’s courage, it made him happy to see him finally take that step and do a favor to everyone and confess.

“It went good, they’re keeping the letter… And they also said they’ll do a little investigation whatever that means” says Seungmin getting in class. He notices Jisung isn’t next to him and turns around and notices the poor boy by the side of the class’ entrance, his hands on his hair, with a panicked look on his face. He runs to him to bring him back in his senses.

“You know what that means? They’ll call me. Tonight. To ask me what I think. What do I do Seungmin? I’ll screw everything up” Jisung yells, now grabbing Seungmin’s biceps and it would be wrong to say that Seungmin wasn’t scared by the look on Jisung’s face.

“You’ll act your normal self, that’s what you gotta do” says Seungmin and Jisung curses himself for even putting himself through all of this.

“What did you do with the second letter by the way?” asks Seungmin looking at him.

“Ohh, the letter? I put it somewhere safe that I know they'll open at home”.

And that’s what happens. As you open your school bag, and take out all of your books, you spot at the very bottom of your bag an envelope similar to the one you got in the morning. You gasp as you understand what it is, quickly picking up your phone, calling your most trusty friend. After a few seconds he picks it up.

“What do you want this late loser?” he says with his usual tone and you laugh hearing the smile that you know he has on his face.

“Nothing special, just… I’ve been getting those letters lately? I just got the second one and I wanted to read it with you” you say and hold your phone close to ear, with the help of your shoulder, as you try to open the letter.

Jisung gulps as he hears you say that. Just exactly as he expected, you call him to ask about this. He should have figured it out before earlier that this would happen, there wasn’t anyone that you trusted more than him after all.

“I’ll read it out now” you say and start reading out loud:

Dear y/n

Just as I told you, I’m back with another letter. I hope I don’t seem weird or anything by letting those letters for you. I really didn’t have any way to show you my feelings for you. Too shy to talk to you about this and a little too much of a coward to even face you. I hope these silly letters reach your heart and you give me a chance. You shine so much that my heart can’t take it, I’ve tried many times to voice my feelings, but I was without a voice, as if the world would end if I finally let them out. Stupid right? You’re probably wondering who this weirdo who is leaving letters like these for you is so I left a little hint for you at the end of the letter. Expect my last letter very soon.

–your secret admirer

Jisung feels his stomach turn as he hears you read the word he himself wrote for you. It actually sounded way more childish and cringy than he intended it to be, now that you were actually reading it out loud. He desperately wanted the world to open up and swallow him alive, that’s how much embarrassed he was.

“You’re hearing this, right? Me. Having a secret admirer, I wasn’t expecting something like this to happen” you laugh as you say this and Jisung feels himself getting sweaty, trying to control his nervous self and show how professional he was with his feelings (which was totally not but whatever).

“Ha ha, yeah! you’re right” he says super awkwardly and closes his eyes as he sighs, trying to calm himself, before continuing “You’ll just wait till the next letter, right?” he says and bites his lip as he waits for your answer.

“Of course, I have to find out who this is, they clearly went out of their way for me, I should know… Oh?”. You look inside the envelope again now and you spot a picture of a flower, a beautiful, full bloomed lilac bush. What’s that supposed to mean?

“What is it?” he says just as quickly, even if he already knows what it is.

“It’s a lilac bush, just like the one I have in my backyard, you know, the purple one?” you say and think about harder, but nothing comes to mind. “I don’t really understand, does that flower have any meaning?” you and Jisung sighs as he sees that you didn’t figure out everything.

“I have no clue, why don’t you search for it later?” he says and you think about it “will do, for sure”.

And the next day comes and that finds Jisung asking Seungmin what his great plan was for his final letter.

"So… What's the plan for the last letter, big brained boy?" says Jisung with a smile, as he nudges Seungmin's shoulder and the other boy makes a disgusted face at him but answers anyways.

"I've actually recruited a friend to drop the letter under their front door," says Seungmin and Jisung starts panicking again.

"Wait what? I can't trust a stranger with such an important thing, why not me and you?" says Jisung stubbornly and Seungmin just wants to hit his own head on the wall.

"And what if they are near the door, notice the letter and run out, only to see me or you close to it? Wouldn't that be suspicious?" he says and Jisung starts sulking, understanding what his friend is saying. "And Jeongin is very trustworthy, you have nothing to worry about"

You on the other end, are on edge. You keep out for your secret admirer around you. You check your purse all the time, your locker, your soundings at all times, hoping you'll spot something out of the ordinary and finally find out who that person was and end this painful journey that was giving you too much curiosity.

"Stop looking like that everyone around you, there's no way you'll find out something like that, and you're scaring everyone around you" Jisung says as he spots you at the end of school at your locker. "Still no sign of the admirer?" he says and you sigh.

"Yeahh, still no sign. I thought I would have already gotten one by now, I wonder if something is wrong" you say biting your lip.

"I bet there's nothing wrong, they may have a different plan in mind" he says and you both walk towards your homes. He's nervous, he hopes the friend Seungmin gave his letter will actually do a good job and make sure the letter will reach you safely… And in time. The date you had with Hyunjin was so close, if the letter didn't arrive in time, that would probably be a huge problem for Jisung.

You arrive at home in no time. You throw your bag at the ground and quickly take your jacket off, and then flop on the couch as you start thinking again about everything that's happening. From Hyunjin sudden confession to the also very sudden secret admirer. The timing seemed interesting, why now? Whoever was it, you wanted to congratulate that person for their courage, you know, you wouldn't be able to do something like that if you were in their place, since you were also keeping your feelings to yourself.

A sudden rustling to your door takes you out of your thoughts and as you look towards it, you spot a new envelope. Stand up quickly, grab your keys and your envelope, and run out of your apartment, only to see a person running away, but too far for you to reach it. You open hurriedly the envelope to read the letter:

Dear y/n

It's me again and today I'm finally putting an end to journey. So this is… Jisung. You're surprised right? I'm sorry for being such a coward and doing this this way. I just wanted you to know, even if it is late, even if in the end you don't choose me at the end that to me, it has always been you. You're probably wondering why now right? Well, the other day I saw how Hyunjin confessed to you and all I could think of was how stupid I was all this time. How I could be more daring and finally make you mine. And I always kept on pushing back "I'm glad I'm just their friend" was a thought I always had in my mind but the truth was that in the back of my mind I always wanted more. I wanted to hold you, be the one to take care of you for once, and not the other way around. I know it is selfish to do this now, but please forgive me, I didn't want to give you up, I wanted to fight for you, even if I was defeated in the end, it would all be worth it. You're also probably wondering why the flower. I remember the day we planted together that little bush because you wanted a more unique flower in your garden. Funnily enough this beautiful flower means first love, did you know that? You were mine actually. I still remember how I finally figured out my feelings for you while we watched that beautiful sunrise at that little hillside by my house, I remember my heart skipping a beat when I turned to you look at you and the purple and magenta colors illuminated at your face and knew at that time, that was in deep. And since that time my heart was colored a bright rose color whenever I thought of you. Every time I see that little bush bloom, I remember how much I wanted to give you these flowers and finally open my heart to you but I was always scared to do so and I deeply regret till this day. If you decide to actually choose me, I will be at the same hillside, waiting for you.

You're truly, Jisung

And you run… You run full speed towards that idiot friend of yours. You were almost in tears, how did you not notice how nervous he was? Or the flowers? You should have known… What Jisung didn't know was that you felt bad about it too. You felt bad for not taking the first step. For not getting to him first. What Jisung didn't know was that the reason you didn't date before was because of him. Why date when you had Han Jisung by your side? The reason you actually accepted Hyunjin's confession was so you could try and yourself to stop loving your best friend, feeling guilty for your feelings.

You reach the hill and here he is, his back turned to you. You run to him and back hug him, your left arm going around his waist.

“You big idiot, why go through all of this just so you can confess, all you needed to do is to just straight up come to me and I would choose you without any hesitation”

Jisung laughs as hears you, feeling relieved and a strange kind of joy he didn't think he'd feel. Your right hand comes around his waist as well, and that's where he spots it. A light purple lilac, from the same bush you two planted, years ago. He starts laughing at the flower and you laugh with him.

"Did you actually know that this means new beginnings as well?"

(a/n: I have loads of fun writing this, I hope people will enjoy it, don't forget to leave a review heh)

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mooshs-crack-headcanons · 4 years

Note

Hello if the request is still open. Could I get headcanons that if dante has a daughter how would she get along with dante, vergil and nero (post dmc5)? Thanks!

Hello! Just a heads up for the future! This was a very different type of request for me to write and next time I get a request like this in the future I'm not going to accept it! But I really hope you liked this one anyway!

Well, it's kind of a given that either way that she's going to be one; be a devil hybrid and going with the tread I'd say that she would hold the family trait silver hair, and two; have Sparda's blood through her veins which in turn makes her a dignified badass.

I would say that most likely that her mother would be a human making her a quarter demon just like Nero, and for the sake of this request I'm going to have her age be around Nero's.

His daughter would most likely work at the office, since you know 'family business' and all and would work on phone duty while her father's out on jobs and take in small jobs on her own just to try and keep the electric and water from getting shit off (dad just has a talent for not paying bills after all)

I'd say despite being the overgrown man child Dante is, he'd be a good dad. He's fun and super easy to hang around, but he can get awkward as hell when certain topics come up; ex dating/love advice, and if his s/o, Lady, or Trish is around he'll most likely push it off on them to deal with.

He does go on quite a few jobs that last him over a few days quite often, so I can see him taking her to Fredi's out to eat and have some quality father-daughter time. He also likes to take her on jobs (that he knows for a fact aren't world saving) with him and hunting together is another bonding exercise.

All of the awkward bad dad jokes. All of them.

He likes telling her stories about her grandmother and all of her teachings she taught him and Vergil, because he knows she would've been proud of the fine woman his daughters become like he knows he is.

Dante has told his daughter quite a few stories about Vergil over the years, nothing too specific in his death or ever mentioning his corruption at Mallet Island, but enough for her to know that her uncle was a stubborn asshole who lost himself in lust for power. So when it came time to meet him after he and her father returned from hell was...weird. She knew that her father and him were twins but seeing it in person was off putting, even if a normal person couldn't tell by just glancing at them, she can tell that even if one has clearly aged more than the other that they're still if fact identical deep down.

Vergil deep down feels really guilty after every he'd down up to the ending of 5 and he's made an attempt (keyword: attempt) to get a connection going with his family again, he made amends with his brother (though still sharing the rivalry) and is trying to get into his son's life, so of course he's going to try his best to at least get to know his niece but given this is Vergil and communication isn't exactly his strongest suit so it's going to take quite some time.

Vergil himself originally thought as V that Nero was Dante's son, so seeing his daughter for the first time isn't that shocking to him. What is shocking to him is how...nice she treats him. With her being Dante's spawn he would've expected her to be more - how would he put it? More like Dante's spawn? (Vergil please stop calling children spawn) But no, she's more calm and collective and even brings up a conversation about Blake's work with him from time to time and it completely baffles him to no end but deep down he really appreciates it.

Like most things, Vergil finds hunting to be where he feels his best so it's no surprise that in his 'connection attempts' that he goes on jobs with his niece. Going on jobs with Vergil is very different then going on jobs with Dante, she quickly comes to realize. On jobs with her father, they'd tend to stick together as a team and he'd show off all of his stylish skills just to show her that: "Her old man still got it." Vergil on the other hand tends to like going on jobs alone, and even the first few times when he has 'agreed' to let his niece tag along at first he always keeps his distance to do his own thing but he doesn't travel far enough so that he can still see what she's doing, she has the blood of Sparda after all so she should be able to impress him. But after they've bonding for a bit Vergil doesn't travel off as far, far enough so that both of them have their own proper battle space but close to where if need be he can quickly trick over if the chance if she is about to have a fatal call with a demon and he can come to her rescue. But from what he's learned about his niece is that she's learned what Dante has taught her by heart and is very skillful at what she does so instead they can have friendly banter with one another during these missions. Vergil is very proud of his niece.

Even though the thought confused the ever loving hell out of him that the old man somehow, Nero and Dante's daughter were friends before they found out they were cousins, they knew they were somehow related with Sanctus' confirmation to Nero during 4 but they never knew how far it went. At that time no one but Dante knew, and Lady would joke about Nero just being a kid that Dante forgot about or something but of course with Dante being Dante he chilled it out saying if he had another kid he would know about it and saying nothing about it further.

Nero would hang around the shop for a good while after the events of 4, still feeling lost and confused about how his whole life was a lie with the Order and wanting to get stronger with his inner demon to protect the most important person left in his life at that point; Kyrie. Speaking of which, Kyrie would also tag along to the shop feeling confused and lost as the brainwashing of the Order slowly would fade away as she grieved for her brother's life. I'd say this is where Dante's daughter would pitch in and try to help out the both of them the best that she can whether it be by training for hours with Nero or being a big emotional support and a shoulder to cry on first Kyrie, which all earns Nero's respect.

Because of that respect, during 5 she actually spent the whole game in Fortuna with Kyrie and the kids. Deep down she was so upset and angry at herself that her father's somewhere lost in that fucking tree Redgrave after seeing his defeat first hand when she went with Nero (who at the time she was visiting after Kyrie called her about Nero's lost arm) and that 'mysterious bastard' V. For the whole month she spent beating herself up over it, she knew her father wasn't dead; he defeated three demon overlords in his lifetime! Three! But seeing him actually fall to an enemy...terrified her. She'd wished to go back to Redgrave the agreed time but Nero asked her to watch Kyrie and the kids in his place and she just...couldn't refuse.

Nero's easy to make flustered and embarrassed and it's hilarious if you just make simple jokes about how dorky he gets around Kyrie like how he does that scratch/rubbing at his nose thing with a big dumbass grin on his face. Both Dante's daughter and Nico both enjoy flustering the shit out of him, and because of that Nico and her are good friends (and once she leaves Nico makes it very clear to Nero that his cousin is hot, which again gets Nero's goat)

Nero and Vergil of course still have a very rocky relationship even after 5 (which again understandable when your parent yanks off your arm and all) so since him and his cousin have a good relationship, he tends to go to her for advice, after all she's had her entire life with her dad and he's only had a dad for the last few months tops.

Either way this family might be hella dysfunctional, but I'd say she'd wouldn't rather have it any other way.

If you like what you read please consider reblogging! It means the world for writers and artists!

#devil may cry #devil may cry x reader #mine #dante sparda #vergil sparda #nero sparda #devil may cry headcanons

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

Text

HSMTMTS 2x9: so dreaded, so exciting, 'Sword!' (yeah, I went there, I've been thinking about this scene - you know the one - since yesterday for some reason)

After two computer malfunctions and a very tough, very sleepless night, here I am with a third attempt to write this post. The universe is against me today. Is Mercury in retrograde or something? Ugh, I just want to get this over with already. And I haven't even managed to see half the episode yet. You better like this cursed post because it's taken me two hours at this point, and will probably take another to finish - and that is if nothing goes wrong this time. Please bear with me. This is my reaction to HSMTMTS 2x9, take 3. Let's hope and pray it's the last one.

I'm normally [unpopular opinion alert] a very spoiler-positive person (it's the combination of anxiety and ADHD and a bunch of other stuff, I suppose), but for this one I've been refraining from looking at the tag all morning, so by now I'm simply bursting with impatience. But before we dive in, I need to get some stuff off my chest.

Some pre-watch thoughts and feelings (let's see how well they will have aged by the end of the episode):

Seriously, what is with whoever writes this show? I know it's impossible, but I feel like they've been toying with my emotions specifically all season. Like:

Ah, so you were a Rini shipper last season? Great, now we'll make them obnoxious and borderline toxic to the point where you actually want them to break up, but then their old chemistry will be back just for the breakup scene so that you can cry your eyes out over the one couple you couldn't stand - even though you can't seem to relate to a single song from Sour, we'll make you feel like you do for a hot second. At least it will remind you that you loved Ricky.

So you say Redlyn own your heart and soul? Great, we'll make you dread something going wrong with them for a week straight, and mess up your sleep schedule beyond repair over it. You're welcome!

We heard you said Rodfini give you life? Perfect, how about a big Seblos fight? And would you like a side of questioning your choice to stan Carlos with that? Because what is life without a little anxiety, a bit of doubt of your ability to read people, and a pinch of existential dread, right?

Ah, so you claimed not to ship Portwell romantically, is that right? Brilliant, we'll make you ship them and then we'll use that to torture you, too.

You've been excited about ABF and Asher Angel guest-starring ever since they were announced? Magnificent! We'll make you hate ABF's character to the point where you can't even look at him, and we'll make you call him names you thought yourself incapable of uttering. And as for Asher, you'll be left waiting for him until the last third of the season, and then you'll dread the possibility of hating his character, too. Do you love us yet?

Oof! Right then, I've got that out of my system. Time to dive in.

Miss Jenn playing around with the backgrounds is, like, 90% of the people who had online school this year, and honestly, I love that for her.

Wait, why is Nini first on this call? Are they going through with the Rose thing? Cos like, the song is nice and all (and, might I add, much more to my taste than nearly all of Sour, don't @ me), but if they use it, it will get them disqualified. They’ve been told that! Gosh, please let me be wrong about this.

We get it, Carlito, rich and fancy and over-the-top is kind of your thing, but have you stopped for a second to think about how others will feel about this? Especially Seb, whom you claim to care about. Seriously, though, I love Carlos and would not hesitate to die for him, but I’m getting the feeling that, unlike my other favourite (you know the one), he wouldn’t do the same for me. Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just a kid. Give him time.

Wait, Milky White? Is that an Into the Woods reference I smell? Cool! If I had a cow, I’d totally name her Milky White (or Gertrude, but don’t ask me why). I just hope they don’t have to, like, take her to the market and exchange her for magic beans, if you catch my drift.

Ahhhhh, Caswell cousins content! We love to see it!

‘You guys are watching, like, old old movies’ WTH, Nini (or is it Nina)? Scary Movie is literally younger than me. But what do you know about it, you 21st-century baby! Ugh, I don’t know why I’m being so hostile today... must be the lack of sleep. Hope it doesn’t influence my reactions to the episode so dramatically as to make me forget how much I love this series. Because I do.

Yay! Big Red is here! I can finally smile. And did Ash just say they’re soulmates? Because yes they are! Ahhh my heart is going to explode.

‘Nini, have you heard from [Ricky]?’ Yikes, awkward... but of course, Big Red can be counted on to save the day here, too.

Ok, so that was a cool cold open. Time for some nice in-person scenes, though. I did not spend all of three semesters doing online school just to have the characters of my favourite series do the same.

Wow, Gina is really embracing that French accent thing! And I really don’t want to think about, erm, ‘Napoleon over here’ right now, but I really think the fact that she’s doing it better than him will be another piece of evidence towards my theory of fake-French!Antoine... ugh, I said his name. Oh well. Back to Gina. Too bad the French thing didn’t work out for her.

Ahhhh, Portwell with Ash in the background! And Ash is going to paint EJ’s nails! I feel like he’s going to end up loving that, despite what he says right now. But seriously, I just love how comfortable these two are with each other. Can you blame me now for shipping them as friends? Well, I mean, it’s obvious they will be more than friends, and somehow, despite the amatonormativity of it all, I’m here for it.

Wait, was that Asher? That was Asher, I’m 100% sure of it. And Gina said ‘a sign’ and then looked at him, even from the back... what am I supposed to think and feel here? I’m confused. Moving on.

Ahh, poor Ricky being a burrito... good thing that breakup scene last time reminded me that I love him, because the entirety of the season before that was very good at making me forget that.

Wait, did she say ‘the Bean’? As in, that Bean? The infamous Bean? LOL.

‘So the only time you two talk to each other is to gossip about me’ Boy, did I feel that. I once got my hands on my dad’s mobile and I... kind of went through his texts with mum. Yep, all about me and my brother. At this point I feel like they’re only together because of us. But this is getting too personal. I’m here about the episode, not to rant about my family. Moving on.

Yikes, looks like Nini’s got writer’s block all over again. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I kind of don’t. I mean, no hate towards her, none at all, but that entire scene just felt awkward and unnecessary. And not just because it’s her first time going live. That I can understand. What I don’t understand is why the writers can’t seem to do anything creative and interesting with Nini. Olivia is being wasted there. Idk, that’s just how I feel. Again, no hate.

Ahhhhh it’s Asher! And well, he’s not Jonah, but I kind of really like him as Jack. I wonder if that will last.

So is it just me, or is anyone else not quite sure how to feel about Ricky’s mum? I mean, their interactions seem kind of awkward and strained, but that’s how it’s supposed to be given their recent history, and yet something just doesn’t sit quite right with me.

‘You there, Muse? It’s me, Nini!’ Ah, so it’s Nini again? I didn’t get the memo. Gosh, this episode is kind of really underwhelming. The most exciting thing so far (but not nearly as exciting in practice as it was in theory) – Asher and Sofia’s on-screen reunion. The second most exciting thing? The thought of Ash painting EJ’s nails. Everything else? Kind of ‘whatever’. Is this what I tossed and turned about all night? Totally not worth it. This episode better get, like, 300% better right this instant. It’s just not worth all the frustration and excitement and dread so far.

Looks like my prayers from just now have been heard! That improv scene was hilarious! Guess it was lucky that Miss Jenn had them do improv before this moment. But I need to know more of Jack’s backstory now.

Ok, so that was awkward! So Kourtney is talking to Howie again, I guess. And I guess I know now what Carlos did that was all public and no subtle. Still, what’s wrong with posting photos from your holiday? Guess I don’t exactly know yet what Carlos did to piss the others off so much.

Great, now I’m tempted to google butterfly faces. Good thing I’m not eating anymore. *** Ughhhhh this was a mistake! Please don’t ever look a butterfly in the face if you want to stay sane. Don’t be like me.

Ahhh the Duke sweater! ‘Is that your boyfriend’s?’ Well, not quite yet, it’s not... *screams in Portwell*

Oh, now we’re talking! But seriously, Ricky? The ‘my friends think’ card? Why don’t you just say ‘I think’? It’s clearly something you’ve thought about a lot. I feel like I’m going to love this scene or cry over it or both.

Ooh, therapy. It’s not just... basically the entire fandom... who says it now. Please tell me that means Ricky will be going to therapy at some point. Says the girl who is currently firmly refusing to go to therapy in favour of hyperfixating on HSMTMTS and getting back into the good old practice of having imaginary friends... yeah, I’m one to talk.

My, my, my! Seb has really had it now. I mean, it was about time, but... not quite like this. My heart is starting to do some weird stuff, I can feel it. I might need to lie down.

Ok, so as much as I envy North High for getting to see so many shows on BWay – basically living out my dream – stalking East High on Instagram and being shady about them taking a well-deserved break... just goes beyond all limits. I mean, if you’re so into Broadway shows, you should know as well as I do what happened the last time a certain founding father did not take a break. Maybe you’re the ones in need of a break here.

Nini on the call with the Caswell cousins, though... ‘I’m obsessed with both of you’ – first relatable thing she’s said or done all season. And EJ playing with old toys is pure gold.

Oh, so Jack’s dad is a pilot. Makes sense, I guess. I’m kind of intrigued by this guy. Just as long as he doesn’t try to come between Portwell before they’ve had the chance to happen, you know...

Ashlyn might need to stop swooning over Nini’s songwriting or Big Red might get jealous... I mean, I would not have pinned him as the jealous type before 2x7, but ever since then... I guess insecure + dating a girl like Ash = the jealous type. And although that looks good on him, I’d bet anything it doesn’t feel particularly pleasant on his side. So... wait, why am I talking about Big Red? He hasn’t even got anything to do with the scene at hand. But then again, there’s been so little Big Red content in this episode that I seem to be trying to make up for it. Still. Stay focused.

Ooh, so Big Red did edit that video! Is there anything my boy can’t do? Ok, now I feel like he’s even more criminally underappreciated than he was before. But let’s look at the video. I’m curious to see the whole thing because that sneak peek from yesterday simply hasn’t been enough.

That was... really, really cool! I love how they took the ‘when they go low, we go high’ line from last time and run with it. Now if only they were putting as much effort into BATB... North High wouldn’t know what hit them.

Hmmmm... I guess Gina and Jack could be what I originally wanted Portwell to be... really cool friends. Unless it’s one of those ‘airport magic’ things. Oh well. It probably is. Was that all we’re seeing of Asher here? I did not wait 2/3 of the season for this. Though it was nice.

Ooh, Ricky’s solo song... why is there more Rini chemistry in this song than there was in all the season? Not counting the breakup scene, of course. Also, I feel like it’s just as much about him and his mum as it is about Nini. Some say music is the best therapy. I think they might be right. And no, I’m not crying. You are.

The granola bar, though... this episode might have been very underwhelming in the first half, but... it delivered in the Portwell front, and the music was *chef’s kiss*, so I’m willing to let it slide that the advertised Seblos ‘big fight’ was not touched upon nearly enough. Maybe next week...

Ok, now that we’re done watching the episode, let’s see how my feelings from the beginning have aged:

The Rini breakup: apparently, along with reminding me that I love Ricky, it has rendered me unable to look at Nini. What’s up with that? If this is some sort of tactic along the lines of ‘Olivia might be leaving the show so we’re making you hate her character so that you won’t miss her’, it’s not really working. Because I don’t want to hate Nini. Believe me, I don’t.

Redlyn: ok, so there’s nothing wrong with them whatsoever - we even got a ‘soulmates’, which I loved - but first they’re being swept under the rug, and then the antis come at us with that ‘their relationship is underdeveloped’ nonsense. Individually, though, I liked them in this episode (even if there was a significant shortage of Big Red), and Ashlyn collaborating with Nini again was cool, but... what I really wanted to see was her painting EJ’s nails. Did she even get the chance to actually do it? Maybe next week.

Seblos: I’m still failing to understand exactly what Seb thinks Carlos did wrong (please enlighten me if you did catch that, I’m kind of slow), but he (Seb) does have reasons to be mad at him (Carlos)... and at other people, too. Still, if you want to have a fight between two people in a relationship, you could do much better than whatever this episode was. Maybe next week. I notice I’m saying that a lot. Guess I’m putting a lot of hopes on 2x10. I just pray it doesn’t disappoint.

Portwell: boy, am I happy that my frustration on this front did not age well! What I mean is, apparently they’ve decided to bless us, not torture us for once. Even a rather disappointing episode like this one had to have some sort of silver lining. And Portwell is it.

Asher as Jack: well, luckily I didn’t hate him, but... it’s kind of the opposite problem. I loved him and now they’re taking him away from me. Guess I just can’t win here. Oh well. At least he didn’t have the screen time to get in between Portwell...

All in all: 2x10, my hopes and prayers are with you!

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black-widowfics · 3 years

Text

My most used writing Prompts:

(There's a lot)

1. "I love you... baby"

2. "God, you're adorable"

3. "Hey, cutie"

4. "I promise to love you for the rest of my life"

5. "I don't care if you're sick, catching a cold from kissing you is worth it"

6. "You are so perfect"

7. "You're the best part of me"

8. "Stay here with me. Please?"

9. "I'm speechless you're so beautiful"

10. "Aww! You're adorable"

11. "So romantic"

12. "I'll love you until the end of the universe" "haven't we been there before?"

13. "Do you need a hug?"

14. "I love you, my dearest"

15. "Come here, I need to hug you"

16. "When everything's wrong, it's you that makes it right"

17. "You're the one"

18. "Have i ever pointed out how beautiful you are? " "Yes, all the time"

19. "I'm bored" " then why don't we do something more interesting?"

20. Forehead kisses

21. Hand kisses

22. "That tickles!" Kisses

23. Kisses that make them smile

24. Breathless kisses

25. Cheek kisses

26. Nose Kisses

27. "God, i love you" Kisses

28. Kisses that end with laughter

29. Never wanting to pull away kisses

30. Multiple face kisses

31. Big, long kisses

32. Long Awaited Kisses

34. "Finally, you guys kissed" Kisses

35. Goodbye kisses

36. Kisses accompanied by happy tears

37. Kisses accompanied by sad tears

38. Kisses that get interrupted

39. Kisses to distract them from winning

40. "Just woke up" Kisses

41. Excited Kisses

42. Long awaited kisses

43. "I missed you so much" kisses

44. Sneaking up behind them and surprising them kisses

45. Kisses to help them concentrate

46. Kisses as a reward(passed a hard exam, won a game, etc)

47. "No! No! No! Wake up! Please!"

48. "Please don't leave"

49. "... I love you"

50. "You killed someone, do you really think they'll still love you?!"

51. "They were my world, but now they're gone"

52. "I miss you so much, please come back"

53. "I know you're gone, but i feel you here"

54. "Tears are all I see without you"

55. "You're happy, with someone else. And that hurts"

56. "Just leave!"

57. "Promise me you'll live a great life, without me"

58. "I don't need you"

59. "The world is dull without you"

60. "I miss being in your arms"

61. "Get out of my life!"

62. "I don't love you anymore"

63. "Goodnight, i have always loved you "

65. "I may be dying, but please, don't cry over me"

67. "Thank you, for helping me live the greatest life i could"

68. "These tears will never stop falling"

69. "You were so perfect, but now you're gone"

70. "You were so perfect, but now you're moved on"

71. That's the way to break my heart"

72. "You're happy in someone else's arms "

73. "Take me back to the good old days "

74. Billions of people in the world, and I chose you, how stupid was that"

75. "I wish i didn't have to lose you"

76. "I wish you didn't have to lose me "

77. "I wish that could be me "

78. Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party.

79. Character A's best friend rigs the Secret Santa, because they know Character A has a crush on Character B.

80. Character A's ex will be at the A is attending. Character B poses as A's fiancée.

81. "Don't look at me, I was still dead at the time."

82. "....Aren't you a little young, to be here?"

83. Character A and Character B meet in the ER on Christmas Eve.

84. Character A can't wrap gifts to save their life. Character B is their neighbor and can help.

85. Character A vows to do something nice for a stranger. Character B is that stranger.

86. Character A and Character B both sign up for a Pen Pal project to exchange postcards.

87. Character A and Character B broke up, but now they meet at a _____ party.

88. Character A is stuck working in a coffee shop on Christmas and Character B is the lonely soul spending their whole day there.

89. Character A's little sibling/child wants to meet their favorite celebrity/writer/person for their birthday. Character B is called "birthday present".

90. Character A can't travel to see their family on Christmas, so they invite their grumpy loner neighbor Character B.

91. Character A and Character B compete in (some kind of) house decoration.

92. Character A bakes too many ______ so they share it with Character B.

93. It's Character A's first Christmas since a tragedy.

94. Character A returns to their birth-town for the holidays. Character B is their estranged childhood best friend.

95. Character A is pretending to be their friend's lover for the sake of the friend's family. Character B is said friend's sibling.

96. Character A loses a bet and has to wear_____ . Character B won the bet.

97. Character A owns a _____ store. Character B is looking for a present.

98. Character A doesn't feel the Christmas spirit but Character B, who lives above them, keeps playing Christmas carols really loud.

99. Character A overhears Character B's birthday wish and decides to fulfill it.

100. Character A was planning to leave dramatically after their confession but character B unhooked their batteries when A wasn't looking so I guess they have to talk about it now.

101. Your doomsday device didn't work but it did put me in the hospital so what are you doing in my room?

102. We've been roommates for seven years and we had a fight but you left me a note right after you moved out saying you were in love with me.

103. "If we get out of this mess you and I are going to have a serious talk about the appropriate time for emotional conversations."

104. "According to these screenshots I need to leave the country immediately."

105. Spontaneously confessed to crush while under the influence.

106. Tried to have a conversation with a cardboard cutout after surgery.

107. "That's it I'm never leaving my room again I can't live this one down."

108. Gave a brutally honest opinion and doesn't remember it.

109. "You said you had the best idea ever and then proceeded to write [extremely stupid thing] as a note to yourself."

110. "tried kissing once and it wasn't for us."

111. We make out at parties and clubs so other folks will leave us alone.

112. "Of course I'm in their lap where else am I going to sit?"

113. Their constantly orbiting around each other.

114. "just because YOUR friends aren't affectionate doesn't mean that there's a problem with US".

115. platonic cuddle puddle.

116. Not so platonic cuddle puddle.

117. "So what we go on friend dates, don't make it weird."

118. Always carries the other's favorite snacks.

119. "I thought I told you to stop calling me 'Your Majesty'."

120. "Lower you weapons!"

121. "I...I am not worthy of this crown."

122. "People are fighting– dying for their kingdom! What kind of Ruler would I be if I didn't join them at the front lines?"

123. "You know I am a prince/princess/royal, right?" "Well yes-" "Then do me a favor and stop telling me what to do."

124. "Since when do you know how to wield a sword?"

125. "Go! If this kingdom goes down, then I will go down with it as it's Ruler"

126. "All the fine silks and perfumes in the world won't mask what a pompous jerk you are."

127. "After all this time, you still don't trust me?"

128. "Get me out of this dress!"

129. "Why so serious, Your Highness?"

130. "How does a walk through the gardens sound?"

131. "I do believe I've proven that you are more than a mere guard to me, ______."

132. "This kingdom cannot go on without you! Please, it's time for you to take your rightful place at the throne."

133. "Your Majesty, is that blood on your dress?"

134. "Walk with me, please. I can't stand another second in that room with their intoxicating pride and old perfumes."

135. "At ease, _____, I know I'm safe with you by my side."

136. "I see we're back to 'Your Highness'. "

137. "A moment with you is far more exciting than a lifetime of cheap conversations and corsets."

138. "...is that my crown you're wearing?"

139. "Promise you'll come back to me." "As long as you promise to wait for me."

140. "Let go of me– that is an order!"

141. "Forgive me, my love."

142. "No, no, it looks far better on you than it does me."

143."This is the part where I kiss the extremely beautiful princess, right?"

144. "how could I ever love someone else?"

145. I'm dancing with my demons

146.I just can't imagine how you could be okay now that I'm gone

147. "I wanna fall wide awake"

148. "You tell me it's alright but its not!"

149. "Tell me I'm forgiven... please."

150. "Nobody can save me"

151. "I don't wanna let you down"

152. "Only I can save me"

153. "There's no getting through to you"

154. "You say I can't understand"

155. "When you leave me, where do you go?"

156. "I'm just talking to myself"

157. "Can't you hear me calling you home?"

158. "You keep running like the sky is falling"

159. "I've got a long way to go and a long memory."

160. "If my armor breaks I'll fuse it back together"

161. "Please just don't give up on me"

162. "I know the words we said"

163. "This is not black and white"

164. "I was not mad at you"

165. "If you ever felt invisible, I won't let you feel that now"

166. "You just wanna know you're being heard"

167. "I don't like my mind right now"

168. "There's comfort in the panic"

169. "I drive myself crazy"

170. "Why is everything so heavy?"

171." I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me"

172. "I know I'm not the center of the universe"

173. "I only halfway apologize"

174. "I'll be sorry for now"

175. "Sometimes things refuse to go the way we planned"

176. "There will be a day that you will understand"

177. "After a while you may forget"

178. "I never wanted to say goodbye"

179. "I've never been higher than I was that night"

180. "Now I remember"

181. "I don't know what I want"

182. "Were there signs I ignored?"

183. "Can I help you not to hurt anymore?"

184. "Who cares if one more light goes out in a sky of a million stars?" "I do"

185. "You're angry, and you should be"

186. "It's not fair"

187. "You're gonna hurt someone"

188. "Watch the friends you keep."

189. "Sharp edges have consequences"

190. "Every scar is a story I can tell"

191. "I loved you like a house of cards, and let it fall apart"

192. "It made me who I am"

193. "We all fall down"

194. "We live somehow"

195. "I can't live without you."

196. "You're the only one for me."

197. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you."

198. "The things you do to me..."

199. "You're too good to me."

200. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

201. "You're the most beautiful person I know."

202. "Stay with me... please."

203. "Nothing has ever felt so right."

204. "You don't know how much you do for me just by being there."

205. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

206. "No matter what anyone says, I'll cherish you forever."

207. "You make it so easy to love you."

208. "I want to hold you and never let go."

209. "Kiss me."

210. "My only wish is to see you happy."

211. "You make me a better person."

212. "I love you more than words can express."

213. "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just wish you had kept yours to yourself."

214. "I don't know how to tell you this, but yelling at someone to, stop panicking, isn't going to stop them from panicking."

215. "It's not your fault. Sometimes you can do everything right, and things will still go wrong.... This just happened to be one of those times."

216. ".....I'm going to pretend I didn't see that."

217. "Why am I the one who always ends up getting targeted by the creep of the week?!"

218. "Fuck.... I knew I should have bought those light up sneakers."

219. "None of this, seems healthy."

220. "....Should I be concerned?"

221. "I said pass it to me, not 'throw it in my general direction'!"

222. "It is my deep pleasure, to inform you that I am not the one in charge here."

223. "Quick! You hide the equipment, I'll hide the grenades!"

224. "Should I call someone for you?"

225. "Did you take anything?"

226. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

227. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

228. "Can you walk?"

229. "How do you think this will all end?"

230. "Do you need an ambulance?"

231. "Where you crying?"

232. "Should someone help you get home?"

233. "Do you know where you are?"

234. "Can you tell me your name?"

235. "Where do you want me to take you to?"

236. "Do you need my help?"

237. "How do you feel now?"

238. "Can I do anything that would make it better?"

239. "Do you want my jacket?"

240. "Can you let me see your eyes?"

241. "Should I stay a bit longer?"

242. "Will you be alright?"

243. "Do you have someone who can look after you?”

244. “An interesting crossover”

#writing prompt #story prompt #bucky barnes x reader #infinity war #avengers #deadpool #marvel #quotes #sherlock #star wars

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whentheynameyoujoy · 3 years

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Women in SPN—Is it Really That Bad?

TL;DR: Somewhat, yeah, it kinda is.

This is going to be a series of long ones, people.

Before I jump head first into this giant vat of weird toxic shit, let me say something:

The thing about most of the female characters is that on their own? They’re perfectly fine, ranging from serviceable to the occasional flash of thematic brilliance. Barely any of them qualify as “this is hateful on its face and incompetent regardless of context and the writers should feel bad for ever conceiving of it”, i.e. the normie benchmark for justified criticism. It’s only when you put these characters next to each other that a worrying pattern emerges;

Although discussions about sexism in the media were very much a thing in the mid-2000s, as well as shows with characters whose primary role wasn’t to serve a man’s needs, I can’t honestly claim that the flaws of SPN are out of the norm for its time; and

The first few seasons could really do with a PSA at the start of each episode, something along the lines of “A part of the reason why female characters are killed off or written out with such regularity is rabid superfans who couldn’t abide anything with tits brushing against J2, srsly, the writing team and the 2000s’ fan base were a match made in hell, except it wasn’t the writers who couldn’t do with bitching on their LiveJournals about the gall of women to exist in the show, choosing instead to harass the creators and actresses and wives and call them every sexist insult under the sun AND I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HAS THERE EVER BEEN A CESSPIT AS DISGUSTING AND NUKEWORTHY AS THE SPN FANDO—“

Anyway.

SPN has a legacy (as a posterchild for not knowing when to bow out gracefully, but legacy nonetheless) and isn’t watched in 2005 but in the year of our Lord Today. Meaning that as time goes by, the issues surrounding the show’s production retreat into the background and only what’s on the screen remains, to be judged on its own merits.

So let’s run down a list of the more noteworthy and relevant female characters of the first arc, focusing on their characterization, role in the narrative, and end. In the conclusion to this series of posts, the sum of characters will be analyzed as a whole to see if there are any unique tendencies in the show’s handling of women as opposed to that of men. I’ll do this for the original five seasons as the recent finale went out of its way to say that nothing after season 5 was strictly speaking necessary so why bother.

(Also because I died of frustration in season 8 and vowed not to subject myself to any more of the post-apocalypse fanfic era)

Angels, while strictly speaking genderless clouds of energy, will be classified as men or women depending on the apparent gender of the vessel they spend most of the time riding. The same goes for demons where I also take into account their stated gender while they were alive. That’s because although beings like Meg, Ruby, Anna, or Lilith can’t technically be considered women in the show’s present day, their consistent preference for conventionally attractive and/or female vessels throughout the original arc makes claims of genderlessness essentially meaningless. For all intents and purposes, we’re watching girls and women on screen.

Baby—the only true NB of the first run

All right, time to jump.

Say hi to our ladies!

Mary Winchester

Killed in the very first scene to give the story a reason to exist, she remains an active presence throughout the first arc where she has a wide-reaching influence on the plot and characters, driving the conflict on several levels. Fleshed-out more and more with each appearance to be more than just “the dead mom”, she’s portrayed as protective, pro-active, capable, and assertive, mirroring the duo’s desire for normal life and their inability to have it. Her story comes full-circle in season 5 when the personal tragedy of her fate is embedded in the wider tragedy of the Winchester family curse and the overall theme of destiny.

Status: Dead as of s5

Importance: Major

On her own: Textbook example of fridging… and that tropes aren’t bad in and of themselves.

Jessica Moore

Comparatively, if anyone doubts fridging can evolve into something meaningful, Jess drives the point home by having no personality and no point but to prop up her boyfriend before she ends up pinned to the ceiling, the reveal of which is the most interesting thing about her entire existence. At best she’s a symbol of Sam’s civilian life, at worst an obstacle to be removed for the story to happen.

Status: Dead as of s5

Importance: Major in terms of manpain, non-existent otherwise

On her own: A cardboard cut-out, barely qualifies as a character

Missouri Moseley

A psychic and the primary reason why John Winchester even knows to wipe his ass. Appears once over the course of the first arc yet everyone wants her to come back years later—that’s how awesome she is. Has this fantastic trait of being compassionate and empathetic while not taking a single speck of shit from anyone, especially when it comes from the two main dumbos who might just as well have been raised in a barn. Is very particular about the pristine state of her coffee table.

Status: Alive as of s5, killed in s13 (wait, what?)

Importance: Major…ly wasted potential

On her own: As strong a character as Bobby Singer, and as worthy of being elevated to the main cast.

Lori Sorensen

The writers can’t figure out why anyone in the universe would care about Jess either so they insert an intentionally awkward romance subplot to convince people the time’s not yet ripe for Sam to stop grieving and start slaying. The result’s… erm… well, awkward. Lori’s naïve, sheltered, devout though accepting of her non-repressed friend, and sort of on a religious crossroads because of her hypocritical preacher father. I guess the virginal power of her virginal virginity does… something in the plot? Primarily a vehicle for Sam to mark the stages of his moving on.

Status: Alive as of s5

Importance: Minor

On her own: A bit done. Like a bit lot. Like a “could be a trope namer” bit lot.

Meg

Boom, baby!

Arguably the chief antagonist of season 1 and one of the best things about it. The first one to point out the pervasive toxicity of the Winchester family business, so props for perceptiveness. Possesses the standard qualities of a lower-level henchman—manipulative, no-nonsense, and quietly sinister which, while not exactly groundbreaking, sets her apart from the other bad guys in the season as they tend to have no distinguishing characteristics at all. Plus Nicki Aycox makes the role seem more unique and “lived-in” by projecting a sense of understated amusement at the two main chucklefucks. Is one of S1’s turning points in blurring the lines between monsters and humanity. Has a face transplant twice—once to have revenge (good on her) and the other time to pursue someone else’s goals again before getting stomped into the ground like a mook.

Status: Alive as of s5 (?), killed in s8

Importance: Major

On her own: The actresses do most of the heavy lifting. Which doesn’t mean I don’t love watching the character burst onto the scene and announcing the end of the Winchester brand of bullshit.

Layla Rourke

A terminal cancer patient in a religious cult, she’s a more mature take on a Lori-type character and the themes of faith and doubt. Serves as a conduit for Dean’s budding survivor guilt, self-loathing, and sense of worthlessness. Is kind and cheerful, with strong hints that she’s relying on forced optimism to get through the days; also understanding of the circumstances of others while realistically freaked about the possibility of death. Weirdly, she enters the episode already in a state of acceptance and leaves it just as accepting when it’s confirmed that yeah, she’ll die soon. All expressions of anger at the injustice and senselessness are left to her mother which somewhat undermines the “struggling” portion of Layla’s character and renders the final scene where she makes peace with her fate a bit hollow.

Status: Implied dead

Importance: Minor in the overall narrative, major in the episode and Dean’s development

On her own: I want to like her, I really do, just… if only she were allowed to get pissed, once.

Cassie Robinson

Dean’s ex and that’s pretty much all there is to her. I struggle to pinpoint a single personality trait of hers—the 2000s idea of a “strong woman” and “not like other girls”, perhaps? Undermined as a love interest because TPTB don’t show the happy or any parts of her relationship with Dean so really, why should anyone care if two sniping assholes with little to no chemistry get back together? Memorable for being in a horribly scored softcore scene which YouTube tries to convince me lasts for shy over a minute, not the week I remember it to. Involved in the show’s first and last attempt at incorporating the issue of anti-black racism.

Status: Alive as of s5

Importance: Minor

On her own: She’s in the racist truck episode. ‘Nuff said.

Sarah Blake

A sophisticated people-person conversationalist with a love of high art and a deep sense of introspection. Ascends to the state of godhood by being able to pull off pigtails while adult. Bonds with Sam over responding to loss by crawling into a shell but deciding to move on. Doesn’t care for your fancy schmancy fine dining, Romeo. Isn’t ashamed to openly talk feelings which includes her explicitly asking Sam if they have a thing going on (honestly, this is such a breath of fresh air for a normcore romance). Despite being scared out of her wits, she refuses to be shoved into the helpless civilian box after learning about the existence of the supernatural; Dean creates a Pinterest wedding board in response.

Status: Alive as of s5, pointlessly dragged back to be murdered in s8

Importance: Minor in the overall narrative, major in the episode and Sam’s development

On her own: A great love interest that has enough writing behind her to fool you into thinking she’s something more.

Up next, whenever I feel like it, seasons 2 and 3!

#spn #spn critical #supernatural #supernatural critical #sexist writing #mary winchester #missouri moseley #meg masters #sarah blake #layla rourke

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sparklyaxolotlstudent · 3 years

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There is an special kind of character that I don’t particularly dislike, but find annoying how their own media (and sometimes, the fans) interpret and stan them and attack like rabbid dogs anyone who disagrees.

These characters are normal, they have their strengths, and they have their flaws… but the narrative and other characters only see their strengths and outright refuse to see their flaws, more often than not blaming other characters for their shortcomings, or outright making them be right all the time.

I refuse to tag this as salt, but if you like or “stan” any of these characters, be warned: Mabel Pines (From Gravity Falls), Taranee Cook (From W.i.t.c.h.), Adrien Agreste (From Miraculous Ladybug), Alya Cesaire (Also from Miraculous) and special mentions of Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Also Miraculous) and Tony Stark.

Mabel Pines is incredibly self-centered, to the point that even Bill Cypher, the big bad of the show points it out several times and weaponizes it, almost creating an Apocalypse. No, I’m not going to blame Mabel for it, but the show goes out of its way to make Mabel blameless.

She is always mocking Dipper for anything and everything, she manipulates him and abuses his good will, not to mention she invades his privacy and boundaries every time she can, not to mention she also somehow holds him to much higher standards to what she does herself. (We are told Dipper mocks her as much, but we never actually see this)

She tries to force him to confess to Wendy

She snoops into his stuff, and steals the Diary at least once (One of the times Bill pointed out her being a jerkass)

When Candy develops a crush on Dipper, she calls him out for flirting with other girls… but she has been flirting with a lot of boys all summer, and Dipper wasn’t in any kind of relationship with Candy.

She basically drugs Robbie and Tambry into loving each other, stealing from a god in the process, and in the end decides to keep them drugged.

She guiltrips Dipper into not accepting an internship with their uncle

The last Mabelcorn kind of addresses this… but since Celestabellebethabelle turned out to be a jerkass herself, the whole point is soon forgotten. She is never called out again for any of these, and is outright treated like the most moral character of the show

Taranee Cook… is, admittedly, a result of bad writing and the writers just outright not knowing what to do with her character. She starts as the “Smart Girl” of the group, with an interest in photography and African culture… but that is forgotten after the first saga. She “rediscovers” a passion for dancing and emotionally cheats on her boyfriend before breaking up with him, and from that point out, she has a new love interest every other issue. They are always treated like the love of her life. And just to point out more of the “the writers don’t know what to do with her” in an issue where they see their futures, she ends up being an Olympic runner. Despite having zero interest on it… But anyway, that’s not that this rant is about.

One issue has a B plot of the girls and their boys (some boyfriends, some friends of them) going to the beach to enjoy a meteor shower (I think that’s what is called? I read the issue in Spanish) and the boys, Hay Lin and Irma go overboad, buying a LOT of unnecessary things, while Taranee protests (mind you, the boys were paying the most of the things. Will and Cornelia were not involved in the buying). With Taranee, being the smart girl and the most level headed of the girls, one would think that she would convince the others to just get the completely necessary and not waste money with some rousing speech… but no, she gets her way by melting the tires of her brother’s car into the asphalt, making them unable to carry their stuff, and forcing them to just go with the most essential stuff. You would think the girls would be furious with her, or that someone would point out that the tires and the asphalt would be pretty pricey… but no, they thank her for the vandalism and say she was right all along.

Another issue has a new boy moving to the house next door to Taranee, who ends up being the son of a teacher who they later think is suspicious (which is kind of fair. They face shit like aliens and monsters posing as normal people fairly regularly). Taranee, again, treats him as his one true love and offers to befriend him to spy on them. The previous day, she thought that they were soulmates because she saw him practicing violin, reading a book and eating ethnic food… through the closed windows. She stalked him. And then, after “befriending” him, she realizes the “violin” was actually a weird contraption to work out (To be fair, it does have the silhouette of a violin, but how she didn’t notice the lack of sound is not addressed), the book was the menu of a restaurant and the “ethnic food” was actually a hot dog. And then she proceeds to insult him to his back calling him a bonehead. Again, she wanted to bone him because she was stalking him and got the wrong idea. The guy is portrayed as very friendly, and attaches quickly to the girls, who find him annoying… y’know, I was expecting them to introduce them to their male friends, but no, the issue with him is unresolved, they explain why his dad was acting suspicious, and they never ever appear again, and Taranee get a new love interest. No one ever calls her out for her stalking.

Adrien Agreste and Alya… well, I have talk about them a lot in here, but their major sins:

Adrien:

Lies about his relationship with Ladybug, which gets a guy akumatized. Lies to Ladybug and blames her for the akumatization. Ladybug apologizes.

Throws a temper tantrum while Paris is getting flooded by an akuma. People are actively drowning and all he essentially blackmails his kwami into giving him information. No one calls him out on this, and he gets what he wants (To meet the guardian)

Throws another temper tantrum when Ladybug says she has plans with friends and will not be able to attend his dinner. Note that they share the same friends and he ditched them for this date.

Constantly forgives Chloe and Lila of every they do to everyone else, but the moment he is affect by his cousin, he calls him a friendless jerk.

This is unclear, but the implication is that he never liked Kagami as a love interest, but let himself be her boyfriend. The moment they break up he tricks Ladybug into watching a romantic movie.

Despite using the Ladybug Miraculous and learning that the holder of that Miraculous holds a greater responsibility that the holder of the Black Cat, and can’t allow themselves to fail, he constantly goofs off while fighting, and tries to flirts with Ladybug, which only distract her. And that’s without mentioning all the times he sacrifices himself, which sometimes leaves Ladybug to do all the job on her own, and sometimes makes him an enemy.

Alya is not that bad, but again, she’s never called out when she screws up. Chameleon is infamous for that. Reflekdoll has her ditching Juleka and making Marinette the model, yet Marinette is the one blamed for that. She reveals that Marinette like Adrien, despite Marinette asking her not to. She equally mocks and support Marinette crush on Adrien. She has pushed Marinette to confess to Adrien, despite her telling her several times she was not ready (And in the NY special that she was trying to get over him)

Marinette and Tony Stark are special mentions because while some of their flaws are pointed out, others are overlooked or even praised.

Marinette stalks Adrien like a crazy fan, but to be fair, is very inconsistent and the product of bad writing. She has stolen his phone, following him when he’s with another girl, tried to kiss what she thought was his wax statue (and stole a lock of hair), has his schedule written down (It is implied it’s the schedules of everyone in class, but still…), smells his pillow, crashes a party dressed as a guy, and outright follows him to another country. The series somehow blames her for a lot of things that other characters do or say, but somehow overlooks this stalking, and oftentimes plays it for laughs (To humiliate her, but still)

Tony has a lot of issues, and sometimes they are the center of the conflicts (Iron Man 2 and 3 play with this) but sometimes overlook his treatment of other characters. He treats Wanda like a weapon and abuses Peter like there’s no tomorrow, and yet, people, and Peter himself act as if he was a great mentor. The fact that he is directly to blame for the Vulture and Mysteryo is never addressed either.

And the opposite is also true. Sometimes, we get a villain that actually doesn’t do anything wrong, yet the narrative and the other characters treat them as the worst.

Trixie from My Little Pony fits that bill. Her debut episode has her putting a show in ponyville (Mind you, this is a universe were everyone can do magic. Being a stage magician is hard). Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity proceed to heckle her and calling her out on her boasting. She humiliates them after they try to humiliate her at her own show. Two kids end up provoking a Ursa Minor (A giant ass bear made of stars) because she boasted about defeating one. End result? She ends up losing her cart, which means she lost her home and employment in one night, not to mention she basically was ran out of the town. She is treated like a villain and it takes several seasons for the show to rectify this.

#random #rant

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stxleslyds · 3 years

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MY TOUGHTS ON PART THREE OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

A DC RENDITION OF THE SONG “MOTHER KNOWS BEST” FROM TANGLED.

Here I will leave the links to my reviews of Part 1 and Part 2

Well, here we are, three issues in this story of only six parts and i still cant tell if i like it or not. What i know for sure tho is that Zdarsky never read any Red Hood books, i had my suspicions but now i am at least 95% sure.

This Jason has been nerfed. We had a perfectly balanced Jason back in 2005 he was smart, skilled, confident and strategic. Then from 2011 to 2020 (let’s put the fact that Lobdell is trash aside for a moment) Jason was skilled, he had the whole “chosen one” thing going on with the all-castle, and in some moments you could even see him being quick witted and confident. But now in this first half of this story he is extremely insecure, his skill set and expertise is barely there and is presented as just reckless.

The other day i was talking about how DC treats Jason, how they just can’t decide on who he is, what motivates him or what he wants. His personality is a whole ass mess, it was fine in 2005 and 2010 when Winick wrote him but then Lobdell from years 2011 to 2020 just couldn't decide what he wanted to do with Jason or his relationship with Batman and his rules. After Lobdell finally left Jason was passed around people who either only read Lobdell's work, or didn't read anything from him or didn't take into account Jason's life because their book was set in a future that may never happen.

What i am trying to say is that Jason doesn't have a personality, and writers don't really add things to the Jason that we “know”, what they do is start his story from zero over and over again. There is no consistency to Jason's character and while you could argue that maybe this new start could be the definite version of Jason Todd/Red Hood i will point out that this nerfed version of him is a major disservice to the character that he was when he was brought back to DC.

It’s simply not nice.

And in this particular issue the “Jason isn't that good at this whole vigilante gig” is even more pushed because of the whole “batman knows best” bullshit. I am not getting this (anthologies) book with a Red Hood story just for Batman to come in and be like “I am actually good at this job, you know nothing AND i have the moral high-ground”, this is NOT it.

If you are reading a Red Hood story chances are that you will be interested in Red Hood not Batman.

Oh one more thing, Jason was an excellent Robin. He was kind, smart and skilled. I liked the flashbacks in UtRH because it showed Jason being all that but he also understood a couple of things about the kind of criminals that Gotham had, your common thug is easily scared of the concept of Batman but the dress-ups knew that no matter what they did the Bat would never kill them, that’s what Jason thought about criminals there.

This Robin Jason is treated rather poorly by Zdarsky at times, he feels insecure and inferior to Dick but he is also dismissive of him and the Robin mantle in the first issue, now in this one he is shown as way too reckless (which is kinda bad because it feeds into DCs favorite trope of “Jason’s death was Jason’s fault”) and his stance on “low level” criminals is weird, like it was made clear that drug related criminals are Jason’s biggest issue, thieves were not.

Those are my general thoughts on this issue and the current state of Jason’s characterization. I have some panels from this issue that i want to talk about in more depth tho, so here we go.

The issue stars were we left off once more, Tyler defends Jason and when Batman asks who he is Tyler says that he is the Blue Hood, that was really sweet of him, that child is adorable and he needs to be protected.

Once the Bat distracts Tyler Jason tells the Bat that the man he killed was Tyler’s dad.

There are a couple of things i want to point out from these panels, Jason feels incredibly guilty, not about killing Andy but about leaving Tyler in a situation that is similar to the one he was left in when his own mother died. He still believes that Andy was not a good man and deserved to be dead, after all he was drugging his own son and was the reason Tyler’s mom overdosed and is now in the hospital. It just hits incredibly close to home for Jason and i understand completely.

The other thing i want to point out is that Jason says “I know your rules. No killing in Gotham” so, this is (to me) confirmation that Jason hasn’t killed in a long time and that he has been sticking to the Bat's rules (at least in Gotham). Andy (a drug-dealer) is the only person that Jason has killed since the events of UtRH (that are apparently canon in this story because it was mentioned in the first issue).

Following this conversation the Bat says that he will take care of Tyler’s mother (yikes, i really thought in my last post that Jason was the one who would have tried to get her the help she needed, to me it seems more appropriate if Jason does it given that this is his story but what do I know)

This is where this Red Hood story transforms into the Batman show.

Not only will Bruce take care of Tyler's mom but he will clean up the mess and shut down the making of the drug all by himself. Jason tells him that he will do it but the Bat tells Jason that if he wants to do it they will have to do it together because there is no way he is letting Jason out of his sight, he made a mess!

Yes, nothing like making the lead character look incompetent at his job. Love that for Jason.

Before the team up starts Batman and Red Hood go to Leslie's place to leave Tyler with her. This is a good moment only because there is a dog involved, well…Tyler, Jason and a dog are involved, best panel in the whole issue? I think yes.

Maybe I have a couple more panels that are my favs in this issue, here they are, a lil bit of positivity in this extra bitter post.

Now I will be honest, I hate Batman (Bruce’s Batman, love Dick Bats he was the MVP) so him saying that he is helping a Robin makes me want to shoot him. You are not helping; you are overtaking, as you do. Never a team player, the Batgod must always be the center of the show.

Back in the new cave Bruce talks to Jason about the drug and who he thinks might be behind it's production. He also makes sure to let Jason know that he is very smart and might be the only person outside of Crane's circle that knows how analyze a very unstable compound…weird flex but okay. He also teases Jason about his detective skills. Yay.

Flashback time! Get ready!

Robin Jason and Batman are at a crime scene and Jason doesn’t seem to be in the mood to play CSI: Gotham with Bruce.

At one moment Jason says “and then we will stomp the guy who did this” (“this” being murder), which makes Jim Gordon (who came to see if batman was done playing Sherlock Holmes) uncomfortable, so Batman tells Jason to wait for him. As Jason is going he sees someone acting suspicious.

Back to present day Batman and Red Hood are visiting the woman that created the compound that makes Fear Gas, the interrogation starts well but because this is the Batman show and Jason is bad at reading people and asking questions we have a scene that shows Jason being a bit too much.

I honestly thought that the first question was fair, but then after they leave the office they were in Batman basically goes on a rant about the things that Jason missed.

Ok, I get it Batman = good vigilante. Red Hood = Incompetent.

Zdarsky is honestly trying to make us believe that Jason hasn’t picked up any of those things, in his years as Robin with Batman AND Nightwing? They both taught him, there is no way Jason doesn’t know the basics of how to read people. Also do you guys remember Jason in UtRH and Lost Days? That guy read people perfectly, how is UtRH canon in this story, did Jason lose his skills in the explosion when he blew up the Joker?

As if that wasn’t enough Batman calls Red Hood reckless after they don’t agree on what to do next.

To this I say the following: Never again make me believe that Jason will willingly work with Batman. They don’t work together and neither are willing to meet each other halfway, even less let the other lead. This makes the idea of Jason following the Bat’s rules and him being part of the “Batfamily” the joke that it actually is.

They don’t work well together anymore; bring duality back to Gotham 2021.

Back in the past where the previous flashback is resumed we have Jim telling Batman that the new Robin seems a bit too rough around the edges. Did Jim ever meet Dick as Robin? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Dick was a sweetheart but he also beat criminals alongside batman every night. It just doesn’t feel like what Jason said was that much of a violent statement or anything, maybe I just don’t get it.

But don’t worry if you don’t get it, because we are shown Robin Jason going after that suspicious man, he is beating him asking if he knows anything about the murder or what exactly he was doing so close to the crime scene when Batman arrives. Through Batman we are told that that man was no longer a criminal, to which Jason says this, “…The guy is a jewel thief! He will always be a thief” and Batman responds “I refuse to believe that. Didn’t I meet you in the middle of stealing the Batmobile’s tires?”

I can’t believe Bruce went full “It’s over Jason. I have the moral high ground” on Robin Jason.

I mean Jason is OOC, we know this, but he has to be that way in order to make Batman look better when compared to a child. DC hates Jason Todd #Confirmed.

It kinda reminds me of that thing DC does with Dick and Barbara, Dick is skilled and smart as long as Barbara isn’t in the room, if she is then Dick will forget to check if there is someone inside his apartment and then be thrown across the room by her and then be told that he sucks at putting security in his living space.

Moving on...back to the present one last time Jason is interrogating a man while he dangles him from the edge of a building (did Dick teach him that? I bet he did.) After getting some information he calls Oracle so he can make sure that the place he is going to is safe. Oracle tells him the she will help him but she did not like the fact that the last time she helped him someone ended up dead.

Now, fair warning, Barbara and Jason big NO for me and after Geoff Johns and his antics in Three Jokers I have zero love for their “team-ups”.

Jason says this,

Believing in him? Excuse me? Chonky, baby, she only helped you find a building.

All I can do at this point is pray to whichever god or whoever hears that this does not lead to Jason pinning for Barbara. We don’t need it (Barbara doesnt need it), I might be overreacting, I hope I am, but nobody wants that kind of drama right now, thanks.

When he arrives to the place he was looking for I think everyone can tell that it’s a trap, everyone but Jason apparently.

How on earth does Jason not realize it’s a trap up until it’s too late? Are you joking? Is this a Red Hood story? Are we really doing this? Just how incompetent is Jason in Zdarsky’s eyes?

Freeze…is it Freeze? I don’t care but he is there, he freezes Jason and that’s the end of the issue.

Listen, I wish I could say that this is the worst Jason has been treated and that this book is horrible, I wish but I can’t. I can’t do it because this isn’t the worst characterization or book of Jason, this is still a pretty good story, could it be better? Yes.

I mean this story is written by someone who obviously doesn’t know Jason and that sucks but it still isnt the worst characterization and it messes me up. Three Jokers was worse than this, certain plot decisions in Future State: Red Hood were worse than this (in my opinion) and Lobdell’s New52 RHatO was pure trash (that is the worst book, just horrible please dont read it).

I am saying this only to make it clear that even tho this issue was painful (mostly if you don’t like Batman) I still have hope that it can turn out to be good. I cant help it, i want and need this story to be good and there is still time for it to get better.

Alright thats all i have to say, let me know what you thought about this issue and my review, bye!

#jason todd #red hood #batman urban legends #urban legends red hood #dc comics #red hood outlaw #robin jason todd

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orionsangel86 · 5 years

Text

15x04 Episode Review - What a Meta Rollercoaster THAT was!

Jensen Ackles directed this. Let that sink in before you read on. Because this means EVERYTHING.

Davy Perez said on Twitter that he had a lot of help with this episode from Bobo, Dabb, Meredith, Even from Jensen and Rob. Which seems pretty clear from me as I was blown away by what I consider a meta masterpiece.

There is a lot to unpack here so let me just jump straight in with my favourite part:

THE REDEEMED FANGIRL AND THE BRONLY GOD

In an episode directed by Jensen Ackles it both astonishes me and pleases me immensely that the strongest and most interesting plot didn’t involve the brothers. Every single scene with Becky and Chuck was a galaxy brain of meta and my head is still buzzing about it.

**Meta Essay under the cut**

Becky has changed. She has grown up, has gone to therapy, has channelled previously unhealthy behaviour into a stable and successful Etsy business. She is the model fangirl. No longer the source of this shows mockery. Becky shuddered when remembering what she did to Sam. Showing her regret and guilt over her former actions leading the way for this fanbase to forgive and redeem her. Formerly Becky was portrayed as a mockery of those in the fandom who irritated Kripke, now she has grown beyond that dark and hateful corner, has welcomed Castiel into her home as the character whose form appears most often on her shelves. Clearly Becky is a Cas stan now. I bet she ships Destiel in those domestic AU’s she writes on AO3. Only Cas stans and Destiel shippers proclaim “not enough Cas” when referring to the source material after all.

However even though the positive message of the reformed fangirl from obsessive incest fetishist into healthy Cas fan filled me with joy, it wasn’t my top take away moment from these scenes. The entire message of Chuck and Becky’s conversation makes me want to cry tears of joy. After all, it isn’t often your favourite show includes an avatar of yourself arguing with an avatar for the writers - or at least, the villainous arrogant writer who refuses to acknowledge you.

Becky likes the character drama. Chuck likes the monsters. Becky doesn’t care for the monsters. Chuck brings up the Leviathan (because of course Chuck would enjoy the season that first tried to “go back to the shows roots” and reduce the format back to just “Sam and Dean alone on the road”). Chuck tells her that fanfiction doesn’t count, but our strong willed fangirl avatar tells him “writings writing!” and damn right you are Becky. It counts.

Then Becky goes and blows my mind by speaking aloud in my favourite show the kind of things that I think and talk about every time this show brings out another generic MOTW episode:

“If I had to give one note, the jeopardy Chuck, its feeling a little thin. No stakes. It’s fun to hear the boys voices but a story is only as good as its villain and these villains are just not feeling very dangerous. Not to mention there’s no classic rock, no one even mentions Cas, the climax is a little stale. The boys tied up again while we get the villains monologue which frankly isn’t one of your best. A hint of originality wouldn’t… hurt.”

(x)

At this point I might as well be on the floor because holy shit Becky is me. When did the writers become so very aware of their fanbase? It’s taken them 15 years, but they are finally here. Chuck is fuming of course. How dare a fangirl criticise his work, so instead of taking her advice on board, he plays up. He gets mean.

Chuck’s perfect SPN ending is tragic and in some weird insanely meta way this feels like a message from the writers telling us that they hear us because Becky once again says what we have ALL been screaming on Twitter about a tragic ending:

“It’s awful. Horrible! It’s hopeless! You can’t do this to the fans! What you did to Dean? What you did to Sam?”

I keep thinking that the SPN writers have made Chuck into a parody of the GoT writers. Chuck is arrogant, egotistical, and completely incapable of taking criticism. He went to Becky hoping she would fluff up his ego, but she shot him down and unfortunately, he destroyed her for it.

The message here though is one of hope. Everything about Chuck is framed as negative, as villainous - this includes the tragic ending. Therefore if there is one thing I am practically certain of after this episode it’s that the actual finale will subvert Chuck’s vision. We will not be getting a tragic death ending to the show.

The other thing I can’t quite believe that the writers have done here, in an episode directed by Jensen is the shaaaade. I’m honestly feeling a little sorry for the bibro’s right now. Because the writers have been shading them HARD this season. Chuck has proven himself to be one of them. Imagine having the writers see you and the things you like about the show, and make you into the actual villain? I mean... ouch.

Reasons Chuck is a Bibro

He has tunnel vision on Sam and Dean (ignores Castiel completely)

He is all about the MOTW episodes. Doesn’t pay attention to depth of character

He clearly enjoyed season 7 MOTW brother only season

He believes a tragic brother only ending would be loved by the fans

He wants a dark tragic ending

When Becky recommends he write something else, he moans that he only likes Sam and Dean and only wants to write about them.

He is arrogant, egotistical and doesn’t listen to criticism.

(this is technically a crack intermission to an otherwise serious meta post but ADMIT IT there is truth to this crack!)

SAM AND DEAN - CHUCKS PUPPETS?

Whilst Becky faces Chuck and makes all our meta writer hearts pound with excitement, the other main story was a rather generic MOTW episode. But wasn’t that the whole point? What a genius twist on a MOTW this episode was. We all know the formula, so overdone now in the show that it has grown tiresome. Yet to have that tiresome format called out in the very episode that... includes... that...format... well, that’s gotta be one of the most meta things this show has ever done. I’m in awe.

Sam and Dean investigate the mysterious death of a cheerleader at Beaverdale high school (and even though I don’t watch Riverdale even I can see how this school is a blatant nod to that terrible show #sorrynotsorry). It starts off pretty boring and normal. Sam and Dean do their thing, they wear the suits and pretend to be feds. They suspect Veronica (again Riverdale fans are probably enjoying this) but realise that she can’t be their vamp. The boys seem quite lost as to who is responsible... until Chuck starts writing that is. Then suddenly a random car driving past the crime scene on CCTV is enough for them to enter someones house with a machete. It’s a sloppy MOTW storyline, but this seems intentional IMO. From the moment Sam and Dean are back in their lumberjack chic and storming the family home to accuse the father of being the vamp, something feels off - or it did to me anyway.

In fact, as this was all playing out right at the moment that Becky critiqued Chuck’s writing, it felt as if she was critiquing the very MOTW hunt that we were watching, at least from that point onwards.

Suddenly we are back in Chuck’s world and he’s made it dark and tragic.

The son in this nuclear family is Jack. unwillingly monstrous, innocent and guilty at the same time. The father, so desperate and self sacrificial for his child - heartbreakingly Castiel:

“You don’t have children do you, because if you did you would know that to see your child in pain, rips your heart out, and you’d know that you’d do anything. You’d die for them.”

The mother, wide eyed, armed and dangerous - Clearly Dean:

“Or kill for them.”

The son plays his part perfectly. Chuck be proud:

“I killed someone that I loved”

“I’m a monster”

Compare this to Jack in 14x20 saying to Dean as he stares down the barrel of the gun “You were right. I am the monster.”

But we as the audience know that this situation is wrong. There is no real monster here other than Chuck. The boy is a victim just as Jack was. The parents forced into desperate circumstances out of love. They may be the stereotypical white middle class American family made of privilege and self obsession, but what they do is still purely out of love. It is a situation they are forced into by Chuck, just as he forced the TFW family into the same situation at the end of last season, and we are made to look on in horror as what happened in the season 14 finale happens again, and yet Sam and Dean barely blink or question their actions. This is the strangest part of all.

Sam’s reaction is interesting, because he knows this is wrong. He knows they shouldn’t be killing this kid. He can see the mirror, the repeated story here. He can TELL that something isn’t right... but he doesn’t speak up, doesn’t protest, doesn’t stop it.

Dean doesn’t question a damn thing. He plays his part perfectly. It’s haunting. Chuck almost had his clutches in Dean before, but this time his hold is tight.

Look at how this was framed and tell me this whole thing isn’t Chuck’s doing?

In both scenes Sam looks on in horror knowing that it isn’t right. But this time no one protests, and Chuck get’s his horrific ending.

Chuck banishes Becky and her family, and arrogantly proclaims that he “can do anything, I’m a writer” and the next scene cuts to Sam and Dean in the car ready for the classic Bro Melodrama moment as to be expected of all standard MOTW, but this time, it feels like they are reading from a script - at least at first:

Dean: “Well that was an interesting one.”

Sam: “Yeah. What Henry did. We’d have done the same thing. For Jack, if we’d had the chance.”

Dean: “Yeah. Yeah we would. Look man I get it. I get it we have lost way way too much. And its hard enough to feel like just cashing up. I felt like that. After Chuck back at the crypt. But you know what brought me back, you did. You saying that what we do still matters.

That’s why I wanted to drag us out here, to work the case, to save lives. Ya know. Because it is, it’s a crap job. We do the ugly thing so people can live happy.”

Sam: “Lucky them.”

Dean: “Yeah lucky them.”

Sam: “But it doesn’t change a thing. Ya know you still do the job. We don’t do it for us. We do it for Jack, for mom, for Rowena. We owe it to everyone whose ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what.

Hey man like you said, now that Chucks gone. We’re finally on our own. We are finally free to… move on. Ya know.”

Sam: “Yeah I dunno I dunno if I can move on. I can’t forget any of them. I still think about Jessica. I can’t just let that go.”

Dean: “No man that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Sam: “I know I know I’m sorry I know. What I’m saying is that I don’t feel free. What we’ve done, what we’ve lost, right now that is what I’m feeling and sometimes its, its like I can’t even breath. Maybe tomorrow, maybe ill feel better in the morning.”

Dean: “And what if you don’t?”

Sam: “I dunno.”

First of all, would they REALLY have done the same thing for Jack? Kidnapped and bled an innocent girl to feed him? Because I don’t think they would have. Then Dean goes into a monologue that we have heard over and over again and it feels like he is reading from a script. It’s like going through the motions. We are back in Chuck’s worlds. There is no freedom here. Even the lack of Cas mention which we can argue is because Dean is burying those feelings and in denial, even so it feels jarring in the episode where the lack of Cas mention was already called out directly by Becky, so it only further adds to how disjointed this whole scene is. Like this scene is pure wank fodder for Bibro Chuck. Quite frankly, it is. But this time it feels like the writers are aware of this and are doing it purposely to MAKE it feel off.

The one time the script seems to trip is when Dean mentions moving on - triggering Cas’s words from last week, which he struggles with, and then Sam protests and actually opens up to how he is really feeling. The brother’s are back in Chuck’s maze, and this time it seems like he has made it impossible to deviate from the path - but I do wonder if Sam is going to be harder to control because of the connection...

The final shot of the episode only seems to further confirm that the Winchesters are once again being manipulated by Chuck. They are his puppets again, and this time it may even be worse:

There is a huge sense of foreboding with this final shot. The shaking funko pops seemingly in fear of what Chuck plans to do. The two feathers behind them indicating their missing guardian angel (as Chuck continues to neglect Cas’s role in classic Bronly form) the tree indicating a garden? Heaven? and the grey paper with the Winchester tattoo potentially the gravestone that Chuck visualised?

Whatever Chuck has planned, it appears to have played out in some form in this episode. Whilst I don’t think that the boys have been completely robbed of their free will, it is safe to say that they are back to playing by Chuck’s script, but this time with the confidence of men who think they are free.

CASTIEL AS THE CATALYST FOR FREE WILL

For years now, I have been one of those annoying people irritating Cas fans by being irrationally happy when Cas isn’t in key episodes because I can see him so clearly in the negative space that his absence basically forms its own overshadowing presence instead.

When I have rambled on about negative space in the past, it is almost always connected to MOTW episodes following some big DeanCas drama, and on the surface level, people have moaned about how the Cas mention wasn’t enough, or Dean hasn’t acknowledged him or something like that.

Well, this episode is no exception. But this episode IS different in that this episode textually calls out the lack of Cas blatantly within it’s script. Which is just some next level self awareness from this show that I am amazed by.

The entire first three episodes of this season spiralled around this DeanCas tension and drama which us Destiel shipping meta writers could barely believe we were watching since it is practically unheard of for this show to set its emotional A plot around Dean and Cas rather than Sam and Dean. But that is what Dabb has done. When that tension came to its climax in 15x03′s final scene, it was well speculated that 15x04 would understate the DeanCas break up due to the episodes being filmed out of order and therefore Jensen not knowing exactly the impact of the break up when he filmed his scenes for this episode.

Well, we were certainly right that it was understated, with Dean basically burying his feelings in denial and work and food and drink. Until Chuck started writing and therefore took control back of the script, Dean was eating or drinking in practically every single scene. As he is well known for using food and alcohol has coping mechanisms when spiralling into a dark mindset. Other than these key clues, Dean doesn’t mention Cas once. So we can speculate that he hasn’t told Sam what happened, and probably made up some excuse about Cas leaving so that Sam wasn’t concerned. Though no doubt we will find out the extent of what Sam knows fairly soon.

On a surface level, DeanCas shippers and Cas fans have a right to be somewhat upset by this lack of acknowledgement of Cas, even though it is perfectly in character for Dean to bury his feelings in denial and distractions. But beneath the surface this meta masterpiece of an episode was so full to bursting with Cas it left me very happy. Lets go through the key Cas positive areas:

1. The AU world vision of Sam’s that opens the episode is dark and depressing and indicates a world in which Sam's demon blood obsession got the better of him, which was a season 4 story arc (which we all remember as Cas’s introductory season), and yet Benny appears as Dean’s right hand man, a season 8 story arc founded in Purgatory (which we all relate heavily to Cas). Castiel is mysteriously absent from this vision though, even though the two key story lines here in the OG world heavily revolved around Cas. The question has to be asked, in fact the entire vision demands we ask it, just as Becky points out later: Where is Cas? This AU world is sure to appear later in the show, and I have a feeling Castiel’s absence will be explained.

2. Becky’s house - The crew clearly had a lot of fun filling this set with fan made merchandise (and what a wonderful way to reward your fanbase by including their creations in the show itself?). As a Cas girl my eagle eyes were mainly looking for any Cas merch and I was not disappointed. In fact there wasn’t a single scene in Becky’s house where a Cas figure of some kind wasn’t in frame. Whether that was Jensen’s decision or not, it makes me very happy. I talk here about the specific arrangement of Cas merch paired up with Dean merch which blatantly proves Becky is a Destiel shipper). In fact, Cas looms in the background in every scene until Cas sits down at the end to write his tragic ending when the camera pans to the Winchester funko pops bobbing like puppets. Cas is jarringly absent from that scene which only further indicates that he has been overlooked and is therefore still free of Chuck’s manipulations.

3. “No one even mentions Cas” - Obviously this was the line that pulls everything else together. For this to be said in an episode in which the very complaint actually occurs is a whole other level of self awareness and by including it the writer is of course reminding the audience to question this very thing. Like with the first scene, like with every moment that Sam and Dean are on screen together stubbornly not mentioning Cas or the extremely dramatic emotional break up scene at the end of the last episode, this line links everything together and forces the audience to keep Cas at the forefront of their mind.

4. The Bro Melodrama scene - As I mentioned above, this whole scene feels like the brothers are reading from a script and going through the motions but particularly Dean, whose stubborn refusal to mention Cas when he says “ We do it for Jack, for mom, for Rowena. We owe it to everyone whose ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what.” it feels so intentional that they have left him out here. Thanks to that one line from Becky, the lack of Cas mention is impossible to ignore. He is so present in the negative space that its like a brick to the face. There is no way that there isn’t an agenda here regarding Castiel.

5. Castiel as the self sacrificing father - The second most glaringly obvious mirror in the episode after the son that mirrors Jack, the father of the vampire boy was far too ready to be killed by the Winchesters if it meant saving his sons life. Neither Sam nor Dean ever willingly offered themselves up for Jack, but we as the audience know all too well that Cas did in one of the most heartbreakingly emotional moments of Season 14. In an episode where the Winchesters stubbornly refuse to mention Cas (though Dean’s drinking on the job and overeager consumption of meaty food are a good indicator of his repressed feelings), Cas forces his presence on them anyway. It is a clear indicator of how close and important Cas is to the story that it is impossible for the boys to ever really forget about him, and I suspect that this will start to eat at Dean very soon.

6. Chuck overlooks the most powerful player - What ties in everything I have mentioned above already about Cas in the negative space, is Chuck. Because the whole point of this episode is that whilst he argues with Becky - the avatar for an inclusive healthy fandom that clearly adores Castiel and surrounds themselves in his image - we are left watching a stale and relatively boring MOTW episode where the Winchesters really do act like nothing more than shallow two dimensional bronly versions of themselves - because that’s what Chuck forces them to be. Chuck, who sits down and types with his Sam and Dean puppets metaphorically shaking with fear as they are condemned to live under his pen once again. It isn’t an accident that in a house surrounded with Cas merch no matter where you look, the one time his image isn’t in frame is that all important last shot - an indication that whilst Sam and Dean may now be under Chuck’s control, Castiel is not. Therefore Castiel’s importance in freeing the boys from Chuck’s villainous tragic ending becomes elevated. This episode symbolically makes Castiel the catalyst for true free will - after all, Castiel himself finally took control of his life and his mental health last week when he chose to walk away. In an episode where his presence in the negative space couldn’t be more obvious - he is the metaphorical elephant in the room - I can’t help but wonder just what role he has to play in Chuck’s vision, because right now it seems Chuck has simply forgot about him. A terribly foolish thing to do given everything Castiel has proven to be capable of.

OVERALL

As a quick summary, I’ll say I loved this episode and everything about it. Even the puppet bronly Winchesters because they were so clearly framed as being wrong. It’s such a hopeful episode, that indicates a hopeful non tragic inclusive TFW ending at least. Chuck is the villain and he will be beaten in the end. Dean and Cas will reunite and it will be the kind of scene that will rip all our hearts out in its emotional investment. Jensen Ackles directed an episode that threw major shade at the Bronly fandom corners, that celebrated TFW inclusivity through the reformed healthy successful fangirl Becky. That villainised the dark tragic brother only ending. This was a thoroughly validating and satisfying episode for me as a meta writer to watch. It has elevated my hope for the rest of the season, and following the incredibly emotional Destiel break up scene that held the focus of the last episode, I can’t stop myself from feeling joy just knowing that right now, everything that I watch this show for, all the things I adore about it, are the same things the writers of this show enjoy and are making the focal points for the series.

This isn’t a show for people that only care about seasons 1-3. This isn’t a show for people who hate Cas. This isn’t a show for people who fetishise the dark, depressing tragic game of thrones style brother ending. This is a show for people like me. Who actually enjoy it and celebrate it and can’t wait to see what happens next.

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izanyas · 4 years

Text

Allowance

Written for P5 Writers Zine in like... 2018. I forgot to post it lmao

Rating: T Words: 2,100 Warnings: some internalized lesbophobia

Allowance

It isn't that Makoto can't deal. There isn't much she can't deal with, after all. Losing her father at such a young age and watching her sister grow cold and distant through the years have made the core of her stone-solid, independent, stable. The metaverse may bring out of her every chip in her armor and pour recklessness out of her loosened reserve, but even then, she is in control.

Even then she does not crack.

It is only irritation she feels when Ann insists to accompany her home. It's not as if she didn't see it coming: Ann has not stopped nagging at her since they discovered that Sae has a Palace. They've all been busy preparing for Akechi at the same time as they prepare for Makoto's sister, so Ann has not had much time to actively seek Makoto out, but Makoto knew she could only delay so long.

She tried everything, in her defense. The polite I'm tired and the snapping You should study for tomorrow and the soft and vulnerable, I don't feel like talking, which always leaves her with ants under her skin and makes a voice roar with laughter in her head.

Ann falls for none of them. Ann is tired and pissed off and obviously intends to follow Makoto home no matter what. There is much to say about the way Ryuuji and Yusuke underestimate Ann's capacity for tact; she does not make a scene in front of them or Ren, never, but her eyes on Makoto are glaring.

You're not escaping this time, they say. Futaba takes one look at them and inches closer to Ren reflexively.

Makoto, therefore, is angry.

Nothing else.

"I'm really fine," she says calmly as she pushes open her door.

She tries not very subtly to close it on Ann's face. Ann shoves her foot in before she can do it and forces her way inside, dropping a very quick, "Sorry to bother you," as if she ever feels sorry.

They both still in the entrance after that. Makoto's apartment is as neat and tidy as ever, the kind of tidiness that used to make her pull at the couch's threads till she felt a little like she could breathe again, but there is no noise anywhere. No light coming from the kitchen or the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

Sae isn't home.

Ann sighs in loud relief. She drops her bag in the entrance, kicks off her shoes, and makes herself comfortable on the couch. "You're not fine," she tells Makoto over the back of it. "I can tell."

"You're seeing things," Makoto replies, putting her bag down much more neatly. "Honestly, Ann—"

"No one could be seeing all this about their own sister and be fine, Makoto."

Makoto shivers. Despite the cold, Ann has not grown out of wearing shorts and skirts yet. Her legs are socked up to the thighs, where a thin strip of skin still somehow bears sign of a summer tan. Makoto has to blink and walk away to chase from her mind the sight of that inch of golden skin.

She's parched. Exhaustion weighs deeply on her shoulders, and her own legs feel the ache of running through the Casino even if they did not truly run. She grabs a glass from a cupboard in the kitchen and fills it in the sink, not offering Ann anything to drink.

Ann notices, of course. "You really are angry at me," she says.

"Of course I'm not angry at you," Makoto lies. "Why would I be angry at you?"

"For intruding on your brooding Makoto hours, that's why." Makoto hears her rise from the couch and tiptoe into the kitchen, the weight of her gaze heavy at Makoto's nape. "Well, I'm not leaving," Ann declares.

Makoto's fingers clench around the ice-cold glass. She gulps it down, almost relishing in the faint headache that follows. When she turns around to look at Ann once more, there is no trace of facetiousness on her. It doesn't bode well for Ann's temper or Makoto's current ability to deal with it.

"What do you want me to say?" she asks bluntly.

Ann seems surprised for a second. Before she can speak again, Makoto puts down the glass and comes closer. She's never more aware of their difference in height than when Ann towers over her like this, tall and gangly like Makoto has never been and never will be, graceless yet captivating. Ann blinks at her in confusion.

"What do you need to hear before you go?" Makoto says. "I'm tired, Ann. We've just spent five hours infiltrating a Palace. I need sleep—you need sleep—and whatever you think is wrong with me, it isn't. I'm fine."

Ann contemplates her for a silent moment. When she smiles, it isn't as bright as it usually is. "You even sound like you believe it," she replies, "but how long have I known you now? I remember how you looked when it was that yakuza scum's Palace we were investigating. I'd say you're twice as anxious now as you were then."

"Of course I'm anxious," Makoto says evenly. "There's a lot at stake here."

Her patience grows thinner and thinner; there are urges under her skin, the feel of leather and metal on her body as she punches through a Shadow's heart, the sound of Johanna's wild laughter making her breath turn to fire. She has never wanted to let go so badly outside of the metaverse.

"Makoto," Ann says gently, and the weight of her hand on Makoto's shoulder seems to make her push through the very ground. "There's no one else here. You don't have to be strong around me."

Makoto cracks.

She shoves Ann's hand away too harshly, harshly enough to hurt, but she feels no remorse for it. "What do you want me to say!" she snaps. "What do you want to hear, Ann, that I'm unhappy with this situation? That I'm glad we're all digging around my sister's heart looking for what made her so twisted!? Of course I'm unhappy!"

Ann is holding her own wrist and looking at her with wide eyes, but Makoto can't stop now. She can't apologize or regret.

"She raised me," she says, barely noticing how raw her voice sounds. "Maybe she was distant, and maybe she expects a lot of me, but she raised me. She was there for me after our parents left, she took care of me, she—" she has to breathe to stop the knot in her throat from turning into sobs. "She's the only family I have left," she goes on. "What am I supposed to do now that I know she's corrupted her own heart so much that she grew a Palace and never told me about it?"

Sae has never been one to open up. Perhaps before—before their father died, before she had to turn into a parent for the sake of Makoto, sacrifice her freedom and social life for the sake of her useless baby sister—perhaps then she was less strict. Makoto has half-buried memories of the both of them playing and laughing when Sae's workload was not so terrible, or when she was still a student with more free time. She recalls her big sister playing with dolls like a puppeteer, using weird voices for different roles, putting on a play in Makoto's small bedroom until Makoto laughed herself to tears.

There are tears in her eyes now, but not from any kind of laughter. "Akechi is going to try to kill Ren," she hiccups. She brings her hands to her face and plasters them over her eyes, hoping that the pressure will keep her cries at bay. "We have to make sure he survives—we have to make sure he—Haru's dad," and then a sob breaks her voice as the fear that keeps her awake at night finally comes into words. The anxiety that has her choking on air in her dark bedroom until she thinks she will die. "What if my sister dies too, Ann? What am I supposed to do if I kill her by trying to save her?"

None of them think of the break-ins as an act of charity for those they rob; the people whose hearts they change are scum, the worst that the world has to offer, and they deserve to face punishment. But Makoto has never once managed to think of Sae as guilty.

Ann's arms come around her, too tight and too hurried. "That wasn't our fault," she says, "you know that was Akechi."

"I can't stop thinking about it!" Makoto shouts. "I can't!"

I can't lose my sister too!

Ann's embrace turns firmer. Her face is knocking into the hands that Makoto has kept over her face, and Makoto's elbows must dig painfully into Ann's shoulders, but Ann is relentless. In this as in all things, she refuses to back down.

In the end it is simply easier to accept it. Easier to wrap her own arms around Ann's middle and dig her face into Ann's shoulder, staining her shirt with tears and snot as she shakes and sobs. Makoto has never cried quite so loudly before, she realizes. Not since she was very little. Shame rises in her in the midst of all the fear, yet Ann just shushes her, presses a kiss to her temple and runs long fingers through her hair.

They've never held each other like this before. Makoto cannot stop her heart from beating askew now any more than she could in the past when Ann laughed too brightly or moved in such a way that Makoto's eyes followed the length of her body, the dip of her collarbones, the shape of her legs. Her lips.

She's never thought so lowly of herself for it before.

"She never said anything to me," she repeats into Ann's wet shoulder. "She never told me how she felt. I'm the worst sister in the world."

Ann's voice immediately retorts with words of denial, of comfort, but Makoto does not listen. She doesn't want to be fed lies about her responsibility. If she had cared for her sister better, then Sae would never have become the Phantom Thieves' target.

She never would have become Makoto's target.

Ann doesn't pull away from the hug. As long as Makoto stays, she doesn't move. It must be uncomfortable for her; Makoto knows that at this point it is not just despair keeping her clinging, but for all that she resents herself for it, she can't let go. She doesn't want to let go and go back to ignoring her own feelings.

I'm sorry, Ann, she thinks, burrowing deeper into the girl's embrace. Please let me have this.

Ann's fingers in her hair drag shivers out of her scalp.

She does have to pull away eventually. Even here there are limits to what Makoto can allow herself; she won't pretend to be upset now that her crying has turned to soft breathing and that simple exhaustion has settled inside her languidly. It is with greater effort than ever that she leans out of Ann's arms and looks away from her, sniffling quietly.

She risks a glance in Ann's direction. Ann's eyes are bright too, a single tear track on her flushed cheek shining from eye to lip. She gives Makoto a trembling smile and says, "Your makeup is all smudged."

Makoto goes rigid when Ann's fingers touch her cheek. She stops breathing as they wipe carefully under her eyes and over her cheeks, trying to reign in her immediately blush. "Ann," she says.

But Ann is not listening. For once Makoto is the one who feels trapped under the weight of her eyes.

She doesn't move away as Ann approaches; doesn't pretend not to want it when Ann bends down and puts a kiss over the lowest part of her cheek, right at the corner of her lips. Makoto turns her head aside to meet her fully.

She can feel the hitch in Ann's breathing as if it came from her own throat. Maybe it did, she thinks light-headedly. Makoto closes her eyes and presses further into the kiss, unable to keep her eyes open for fear of Ann's reaction, taking in the softness and proximity for as long as she will be allowed.

She needn't have worried.

It is only a long moment later that they both pull away. Makoto's heart is a chaos in her ribcage, fluttering like a trapped bird, knocking and bruising. She knows her face has grown crimson; she can see, though she will not look higher than Ann's chin, that Ann looks exactly the same.

She forces her mouth open and says, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Ann replies in the same breath. "Don't be sorry."

In her smiling eyes, Makoto finds the very opposite of disgust.

She smiles back.

#p5 #persona 5 #makoann #niijima makoto #takamaki ann #fic: allowance #featured

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marvel-ousnesss · 4 years

Text

The pirate and the witch (part four)

Pairing: Harry Hook x daughter of narissa!reader

Summary: Y/N, an orphan vk who was taken to auradon at a young age, returns to her old home by request of the crown prince. However, things tend to go south at the Isle of the Lost.

Warning: Mild cursing, use of alcohol, sword fighting (no super detailed descriptions)

Word count: 4460(ish)

A:/N: happy Christmas Eve eve!!! Finally done with part four and turns out I ended up writing a plot that flows slower than intended (oops). I’m sorry for the wait but I’ve been sort of busy with holiday-related procrastination. Also…. I’m working on a request and a Bucky royal au which I’ll be posting soon. As always, lots and lots of love and thanks for reading ❤️ Pls tell me what you think.

(BTW… there’s a flashback at the end, it’s in italics.)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE DISNEY DESCENDANTS CHARACTERS, THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN CHARACTERS NOR THE SANDERSON SISTERS. All credit goes to the creators, writers, and producers. Same with the HP charms, credit goes to J.K Rowling (for now, just present in the first parts).

part one part two part three mobile masterlist

— Oi, lass, lass,— a familiar intone is heard when I open the window.

To my surprise, I spot Harry behind a trash container, with my cloak resting on his right shoulder.

When he sees my head peeking out of the second floor window, he pipes, — if you wanted to see me again, you should’ve just asked.

— Who says I wanted to see you, that was a hint for Gil to find.

He snickers at my words,— ya gaunnie come get yer manky cloak, or do I have to go up there?

—Shit, — I breathe — Just a second!

I close the window and look at Jay, who quirks a brow but doesn’t move from his spot on my desk. He began to explore my sketchbook app a few minutes ago, and seems to be completely immersed in it. Nevertheless, he puts the device down and chuckles, — This is you’re place, you know. Say the word and I’ll be out.

His words take me by surprise. Even if he’s been here for a few hours, I still can’t get completely used to the idea of such dangerous people, who are feared to death back home, being as decent and friendly as they have been during my stay here.

So, after a brief goodbye, he leaves and, after all of my Auradon-related stuff, I open the window once again.

— You already came all the way here, what’s a few steps up.

He’s about to make his way up the fire escape but, after a few steps toward it, he crosses his arms and says, — Yer right, I came to yer place, don’t I deserve a prize?

He’s such a flirt. After debating it with myself for a second, I make up my mind.

— Come here and get it, — I wink.

Without a second thought, he runs up the stairs outside the building and reaches my window in no time. What I’m I doing? No one was supposed to find out about this place, yet I’ve brought two vks here in just a day. I try to keep my cool as the pirate walks toward me, stopping about a foot away.

He smirks, —So, doll, ‘bout me prize.

I feel the heat in my cheeks when he takes a small step closer, placing a hand on the side of my waist.

—oh, right… that,——

Think fast, think fast….

I smile at him sweetly and kiss his right cheek, retrieving my cloak from his shoulder. — your welcome, — I smirk.

He laughs at my antics, — yer kidding? Don’t ya say that’s it! Glaickit of ya to think I’ll leave with just that.

—Who says you have to leave?— I utter the words while stepping back in order to sit on my bed.

His brows jump up and his ocean blue eyes shine with mischief and surprise. — What’d you suggest, doll.

— Staying here for a while but, now that I think of it, wouldn’t it be more fun to go out? The docks, maybe?

— Nah, depends on what you want to do. — his words keep coming out laced with an air of innuendo.

Not wanting to give up yet, I decide to play coy. — You know, the usual; take a walk, grab a bite, ‘keep the heid’, don’t you have to do rounds?

This time, it is a mix of mischief and excitement that floods him. — Yer right, can’t wait to see the faces of those wingnut vampires when ya scare the shit outta them!

— yeah… I’m thrilled.

Why did I suggest this, of all possible things to do? The question seems to be trapped in my mind. Ever since we left the apartment, Harry began to show a new side of himself, one that I had only seen in the papers I read beforehand.

He invited me to do his rounds with him, on the way to the docks and, needless to say, my magic resulted completely useless when it came to achieving the level of fear that Harry had in mind.

— Not so badass now? bastard, — he hisses, with a smirk on his face as his hook grabs some guy by the jacket. — whatcha gonna do?

The guy limits himself to whimper and let out some sort of cry. Given that the pirate has already grabbed everything that caught his eye, together with the designated amount of golden coins, the business there is dimmed as finished and we finally begin walking to Ursula’s.

—So what ya think, see yourself doing this with me and the crew?— he asks.

—Not really, not one for all of the intimidating.

— Ain’t so sure ‘bout that, lassie. You’ve done pretty well for what I’ve seen. — it is kind of weird to hear such words coming from him; even more so when sincerity is all across his handsome features.

I snicker, — yeah, right; I can’t even get a fly to run away.

His chin lifts up and his chest comes forward subtly, — I’d help you with that, if you decided to join us. In fact, — he wiggles his brows with a smirk, — I’d train you.

— As tempting as that sounds, I’ll have to decline, Hook. Got better things to do:

I shouldn’t even think twice about declining but something about exploring my vk side a bit further than I’ve been able to doesn’t sound completely crazy. Maybe is the way he looks at me, or should I say through me, with his ocean eyes; or the way in which those same eyes shine when he’s about to wreak havoc? Don’t really know, and not sure if I really want to.

Guess I’ll just have to solve this problem in the way I do it best, ignoring my questions until they go away.

I begin to run and chant, — Race you to the docks!

….

Panting, I stop in front of Ursula’s and get inside. The place is packed with members of Uma’s crew, some of which seem to recognize me. They acknowledge me without hostility, still thankful for what I did for them the night of the party.

—Look, Uma, Y/N’s here! Bet she’s looking for Harry, — Beams Gil, the blond and tall guy who first broke the ice with me the night I met the crew.

Uma smirks and approaches me, — Look, witchy, not sure if you got the memo but one night stands are supposed to be just that, and last one night, nothing more.

— Thanks for the heads up, cap, but I’m actually here to grab a pint. — I sit down on a barstool.

— in that case, — she turns away, visibly relaxing, — Bonnie! A beer for bibbity bobbity bullshit over here!

When Uma is behind the bar again, Harry, who had been inside and contemplating the scene, approaches me.

— Sorry ‘bout that, Uma just knows me too well,— he ventures. — Ain’t good for the business to have every lady in the isle claiming to see me, now is it?

His cockiness is amusing as it is annoying. — Oh, of course — I ponder.— that would be completely tragic.

He chuckles at me and steals a sip from my still full beer. Honestly, I don’t even like beer that much; just ordered it to play the part. Go

— Yer different, though, — he claims, but I don’t believe a word.

— Do tell, why is that?

— You’re not as annoying. Actually, I kinda like having you ‘round, — he flirts.

— So you, Mr. use-‘em-‘n-dump-‘em, are claiming I’m special? — I gasp mockingly, — what an honor.

We both laugh a bit, share another sip of beer, and he continues.

He shrugs, — Yer also fast. Not enough, but fast; even if you were playing dirty.

—Oh, gods, aren’t you one to talk about that! — I accuse,— and, given the case that I did play dirty, how did I do it?

— Lookie here — he gesticulates, motioning himself. — Racing a hungover pirate ain’t fair, besides, I had too much clothes on.

I chuckle, part of me wishing I could wipe that smirk off his face. — You’re just a bad loser, I’m pretty sure you’re always hungover; and, as for your clothes, not sure how that’s related to me kicking your ass.

— How low do ya think of me, doll, ya think I’m a bad loser? — he fakes a gasp. — and, as for my clothes, —his tone is mocking, — can’t you just enjoy me charm and help me solve the problem? But, in case you wanted a serious answer for your question, nakedness makes me more aerodynamic.

— wouldn’t you like that, Captain cockiness.— my brow quirks up. — And seriously, aerodynamic? Yeah, right.

— Not as much as ya would, my little witch.

I scoff as my eyes drift over to the window. The day is warm despite the lack of sun, so I suggest, — I think I’m gonna go for a walk. Come with me?

…….

The sound of the waves crashing against the docks is one that I’ve loved my whole life, back home, my dad and I go for boat rides often. However, here there’s a bunch of noise that accompanies the punches of water against wood and stones. The market is busy as we walk, but most of the catches turn out to be dead fish and trash that arrives from Auradon.

— I still don’t believe you, you know? It’s impossible for you to fit the grip of your hook inside your mouth; besides, how can I believe you if your too chickened up to prove it,— my arms cross expectantly.

Since we got out of Ursula’s, Harry’s been telling me a bunch of stories of his and Gil’s drunken deeds, and I may have also revealed a few of mine and Chad’s own disventures. For the last five minutes, he’s been trying to convince me that he’s capable of putting the whole base of his hook inside his mouth, but refuses to show me.

— Lass, ya’ll have to take me word for it. I’m still a few bottles of scotch away from doing that again.

—pff,— I playfully shove him sideways. — Yeah, right.

He places the tip of his hook on his chin, pretending to think, — you know, shouldn’t have spilled so much, now ya have lots of dirt on me.

—What am i gonna use it for? You know what, never mind. — I proclaim, — You, Harry James Hook, just made the worst mistake of your life. Now I’ll overthrow you and Uma, and take over the lost revenge. Buahahaha!

He laughs at me and counters, — seriously lass, some of these things, I’ve never told anyone before.

—relax Hook, you can trust me, — I smile, with the sincerity I can muster.

— Oh, okay then.

After the short moment of vulnerability, we fall into a void of uncomfortable silence. We continue to walk along the brick street next to the sea, and my hands seem to find a permanent place inside the pockets of my jacket. Harry softly whistles a melody with his eyes locked down, but looks up and smiles as we reach a familiar ship.

His frame stiffs for a moment as he inquires — You sure I can trust ya?

I hesitate, — Yes, of course.

— Then come on, you’re meeting someone. — he grins.

The ship seems to be isolated from the rest, yet it is full of crew members that work and bounce from one side of the deck to the other.

When we enter their sight, they stop to stare at us and pull out their swords.

One of them speaks with a threatening and raspy voice, — Not outsiders in the Black Pearl, Hook.

— Relax, Y/N ain’t gonna start beef, Barbossa. — Harry assures, — where’s Jack at?

— Sure hope she does cause some trouble, we could always use some tasty ladies here in this humble ship. — the malice in his expression makes me shiver, not to mention the wicked grin coming from the monkey on his shoulder, so I move slightly behind Harry.

At this point, it’s evident that the younger pirate’s patience is becoming thinner. — She’s not here for that, now where’s Jack?

Barbossa’s pounding laugh comes laced with his response, — His chambers, drinking. Good luck getting him outta there.

So, shielding me from the Wolfish looks sent by some crew members, Harry drags me to what I assume is the entrance of the captain’s quarters.

He knocks three times and a groan is heard on the other side, right before the breaking of a bottle and an incoherent train of curse words.

The door opens to reveal a tanned middle aged man sporting wild dreadlocks and a bored expression. However, his facade changes as soon as he registers that Harry was the one who dared interrupt him.

—Powder Monkey! What brings you to this old man’s ship?— his arm flies over Harry’s shoulder and he drags him inside.

I follow closely behind. My eyes scan the wooden floor and walls, the scattered pieces of green glass that I’m sure recently fell down, and a table full of unopened bottles, surrounded by five stools.

— Just thought I’d come ‘n greet, so you pack of salty dogs wouldn’t forget ‘bout me.

— Nah, wouldn’t forget ‘bout my favorite boot cleaner, — he smiles, showcasing a few golden teeth, — now would I?

Harry’s only response is to laugh as he opens a bottle of rum, — Also, wanted you to meet a, uhh, an acquaintance. Jack, Y/N; Y/N, this is Jack.

Acquaintance, seriously?

He turns my way, smirking and stretching out a dusty hand, — Well, let me say, m’lady, any friend of Jimbo here is a friend of mine. —After we shake hands, he sits down on the table, grabbing yet one more bottle, — Now tell me, what stupidity have you done to cross ways with this wonky piece of sea garbage?

I’m about to start, but Harry interjects, — She can’t tell you nothing without a dram.

— Only got rum, Hookey, who do ya think yer talking to, Turner?— he scoffs.

— Rum it is, then.

Awkwardly, I state, — Actually, I’m good as it is, gentlemen.

— You don’t drink? — This time, Sparrow breaks into laughter,— got a princess in your hands, Harry. But m’lady, — he turns toward me,— we all drink here, ‘s the code.

I chuckle, — Fine, but just a few drinks.

…

Thank god I have my boots on, I think to myself as I look at the floor. A fit of giggles scale my lips, followed by an almost unperceivable hiccup. It’s been a few hours since we arrived at the Pearl, and we’ve been drinking nonstop. At the beginning, it was only Jack and the two of us, but then Gil ended up here, together with maestre Gibbs.

I told them how I met Harry, but that’s the only truth that I’ve spilled. After all, knowing where I’m from would be enough motivation for these men to make me walk the plank and straight into the kraken’s nest. From then on, I’ve been mostly listening.

— So, then I was like ‘proceed,’ but they noticed I wasn’t white so the one with the fancy wig went all ‘it’s Jack Sparrow, it’s Jack sparrow!’ and I was like ‘nub-uh, I’m justice Smith.’ — Jack speaks between laughs, with exaggerated esticulations, as he takes another sip of some cheap wine; the rum ran out like an hour ago.

— You saved my ass that day, Jack, I remember it like it happened this very morning, — Gibbs patted his friend’s shoulder.

Gil chimes in, — like that time you saved us from the Huns, we wouldn’t have lasted two seconds without you and Anamaria.

— I haven’t heard that one yet, — I voice, utterly curious.

— Well, — Jack announces, then yawns. — you’ll have to hear it another time, Y/N/N. I've got some business, you know? Gotta sleep for a few years now.

Being the ship’s captain, and the two young pirates’ mentor, no one’s hesitant to comply. We get up and say goodbye, then make our way outside.

All three of us are still fairly drunk, so I decide to take this chance to see if I can get them to open up.

— I still haven’t heard the story of you guys and the Huns.

— ‘S a long one, lass. — states Harry, placing an arm around my shoulder, to which I respond by loosely grabbing his wrist with my right hand, as to keep his arms from moving.

— Well, we’ve got time! — I yowel.

— You’re gonna love it, Y/N. — As we walk, Gil begins to explain, taking a sip of the bottle we grabbed from the Pearl.— We were like seven when that happened?

----

Harry and Gil walked silently, as they kept an eye on Shan Yu’s men. It was Harry’s first official mission as part of his father’s crew, or it was gonna be, and he had called Gil and Uma for help and support. Sadly, the young sea witch had been grounded that very morning, so she couldn’t be there with the two boys. To say that they had absolutely no idea what they were doing was a complete understatement. They were clueless.

So, they did what seemed rational at the moment: follow the enemies and wait for the perfect moment to attack. Or… at least that’s what Gil had heard his father say when he talked about hunting.

—Shh!! — scolded Harry, — you’re gonna make them see us, Gil!

The blond boy muttered a quick ‘sorry,’ and continued walking, this time avoiding collisions.

— Harry, they’re getting into a warehouse, we should wait out here. — Gil intoned, chocolate eyes shining with fear.

Harry immediately countered and, on the contrary to his friend’s, his blue orbs were flooded with pride and determination. —No, this is my chance to prove father that I can be a real pirate. If we make it, he will train me.

----

We continue walking through the very same road that we took earlier today (yesterday, as midnight passed a few hours ago). Harry’s arm remains placed around me and mine has now found its way around his middle.

As he speaks, I feel the soft vibrations of Harry’s voice and the alcohol that pleasantly poisoned his breath; — so, we decided to ambush the Huns right there.

— We decided? You manipulated me into going, — Gil points out, giggling.

Harry sighs and grumbles, — Anyway, the point is we went inside and here we are; so, continue talking Gil. Before sunrise, if you can.

----

The two boys literally crossed a door that had no way back. They hid behind a few boxes of what they supposed were ingredients for Dim Sum, and carefully watched as the Hun soldiers opened a chest full of gold that they had stolen from the Jolly Roger.

— There it is, — Harry whispered in awe.

— It’s a lot of gold, — Gil quavered.

Back then, they were convinced that no one was aware of their presence, but a certain pirate lord who had his eyes on the very same prize had seen them from the start.

— Isn’t that Hook’s boy? — asked Anamaria.

—Yup.

She continued to press on the topic, — shouldn’t we take him? He’d be useful against his father; we could get some money out of him.

—Nope.

— And why the hell not, Jack?

The captain sighed, as he adjusted his position on the ceiling bar, — Jim doesn’t pose a threat at the moment and nothing he has seems to be worth it these days, the boy’s useless.

The Huns continued to speak in hushed tones, reason why none of the intruding parties were able to register what was happening.

The kids didn’t even have time to move when they felt the cold metal of swords against the back of their necks. With their hands raised in defeat, they stood up and faced Shan Yu’s soldiers.

—Your father didn’t even have the balls to come here himself?

— Maybe we could send him your fingers? Or maybe even your left hand? That way you’d get matching hooks.

The grown men spoke as they advanced on the two boys, making them head toward the wall of the building. When they had them cornered, both Huns raised their swords and both boys shielded their heads with their arms; but no harm came their way.

Instead, they saw the Huns fighting two other people, whom Harry recognized as members of the enemy pirate crew, the tripulation of the Black Pearl.

— So that’s why you went after the kids —chortled the man. — Your technique is worse than your fashion sense, and that’s saying something.

Both boys giggled at his words.

The man’s combat was sparkled with humor and witty comments, while the woman fought silently and with a stern expression, only groaning every few hits. Both of them had impeccable technique, and they seemed to be dancing in perfect coordination.

After what had seemed to be hours, the Huns ended up dead.

— I can’t believe I agreed to come with you in the first place, — hissed the woman, cleaning her left boot with the end of her puffy white sleeve.

— Come one, don’t tell me it wasn’t fun!

She ignored her companion and approached the boys, who had been contemplating their interaction.

— Hey, — she smiled, — I’m Ana, and that idiot over there is captain Jack Sparrow.

Harry stepped forward, — I’m quartermaster Harry Hook, and this is my friend Gil.

—Quartermaster? Harry, your father doesn’t even let you near the crew.

Harry glared at his friend and decided to explain to the two strangers, — well, I’m not exactly a quartermaster… yet! — he assured. — but I’m gonna be one, when my dad decides to train me.

It was the man’s turn to speak, and his voice came tinted with venom. — You mean Jim sent you here without training? Not even I would do that.

— My dad doesn’t think I have what it takes to be a pirate. I was gonna bring him his treasure back and show him I do have it, but I guess you’re gonna take it, right?

‘Not the puppy eyes, not those; anything but the puppy eyes!’ Jack pleaded to himself, but he ended up looking at the boy and giving in.

He groaned, and then spoke up. — We’ll all go back to the Pearl. There, well split the gold and maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.

— Uma’s gonna love this, — grinned the boys in unison.

----

We arrived at the end of the road, so the three of us sat on the edge of the dock, feet dangling over the water.

— So, that’s basically it. — concludes Gil. — Jack taught us everything we know about being pirates. Then, he helped us get the Lost Revenge.

I take a drink, — And, you’re all still pretty close to him. That’s really cool.

Harry chuckles, — well, we kind of owe him everything we are.

I lift my head, which was resting on his shoulder, and glance at him. — That’s not true; he may have trained you, but I’m sure you all have become your own selves.

— Don’ be stupid, lass, he did it because it meant a future a alliance and an advantage, not because he has a teaching vocation.

I sigh, looking for adequate words to phrase what I want to say, — Then you guys owe him what you know about piracy, nothing more.

None of the two pirates said anything.

You know, — Gil sighed, — he’s been there for us more than our own parents. He even saved us from Hook’s crew once, when we were thirteen.

—Still, he did it because we’d signify power for him and not because he cared about us. — Harry takes a long swing of liquor.

I sigh, — Still, I think that, even if he didn’t care at the beginning, he’s fond of you guys now.

Harry’s about to object, but he thinks for a moment and mumbles, — he’s been around for quite a while, even for me sisters.

—I’m just pretty glad that we found him, — Gil hummed, — since I began training with him, my father has been going on about how proud he is that I’m big and strong, and how he hopes that I’ll get myself a nice lady.

— Funny, — Harry says with a tint of grief, — my dad stopped talking to me when the moment I stepped on the Pearl.

Once again, we fall into silence. I fall backwards and look at the cloudy sky, Gil and Harry soon follow and, once again, I find a spot right under the first mate’s arm.

— I’m kind of sleepy, guys.— Gil voices my thoughts, we should head back to the Revenge.

Without complaining, the three of us stand up and walk back to the ship. Instead of heading to their quarters, Harry and Gil lead me to a few hammocks that are placed on deck for those on night guard.

Harry takes off his boots and coat, sitting on one, —‘m sure Uma won’t mind if we use these for tonight.

—Yeah, no big deal, — Yawns Gil.

— Kay.

I’m already beginning to sober up, so sleep is beginning to hit me. Without a second thought, I lay down and wrap myself in my cloak. I drift off to sleep, and my head clears.

It only lasts a few hours, though. I wake up with nausea and my head pounding. Sitting up, decision which immediately regret, I look around for Harry and Gil but turns out I’m alone. I get up and rub my eyes, walking towards Frollo’s creperie, which is a few blocks away from Ursula’s.

I arrive and bark my order, like I’ve seen people do it around here. Then, with a huff, I sit down and quickly glance at my watch.

9:30 am… shit!

Tags: @criticizing-blogger @aspitefullittlebeing @treestarrrrrrrr

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thewhitefluffyhat · 4 years

Text

On Madoka and Homura’s Valentine’s Stories

Man, reading this event in translation really confirms that Doroinu best magireco fanfic writer.* It’s pretty cool how he even includes references to the characters’ MGS like Kako taking Madoka on another adventure and Natsuki cheering on Homura again. You can tell he actually cares about the setting and all the little relationships between the characters.

I’d actually even say that his Homura and Madoka are noticeably deeper and more in-character than what the normal f4 writers manage to produce…

Much like Iroha, f4 Madoka tends to get flattened into a generic nice girl, all sweetness and no sharp edges. But Doroinu remembers that in timelines where Madoka is a magical girl, she’s actually rather cocky and playful! It’s neat to see her finally teasing Sayaka back for once – most of the time we see confident Madoka, she’s either with Homura or Mami.

(That being said, Doroinu’s sense of humor tends to be a cut darker… or at least a cut weirder… than the usual Magireco fluff too, haha. I really enjoy it, but I could see it not being to everyone’s taste.)

The usual game writing also has a bad habit of conveying Madoka’s bravery and empathy passively, through other characters talking her up rather than letting Madoka actually do anything. But here we can finally see Madoka’s personality reflect in her actions, like her refusal to give up on saving everyone in her story, or in her continuous worrying over Homura and later attempts to cheer her up.

Meanwhile, most Magireco stuff treats the original cast with a very light touch, as though the f4 writers are too afraid to add anything not already in the character setting. In contrast, Doroinu’s treatment of Homura here starts with an eager sprinkle of headcanons on what Homura’s hospital stay was like. It then uses that to segue into giving Homura an intriguing little mini-arc we haven’t seen her character explore in canon before. What if Homura acted as the kindly Madoka-figure for someone else?

The aspect that really made me sit up, though, was this. F4 tends to either forget or superficially gloss over Homura’s guilt and self-hatred. Since that’s a very significant part of her character, that means f4 Homura never quite feels as desperate and determined as she should. But even though this is ostensibly a short, fluffy, unimportant Valentine’s Day event, Doroinu goes there – and then goes further. This might be glasses-Homura, but even in her we see the pre-echoes of Rebellion in how she idealizes Madoka and then uses that as a standard to tear down her own self-worth. (“I couldn’t be like Madoka after all.” ouch)

(*Yes I know it’s weird critiquing official works as fanfics. But that’s ultimately what spinoffs by different writers kind of are. And the Doroinu event stories seem tonally even more fanfic-y than most, in that they eagerly reference and then expand on Deep Madoka Lore.)

#madoka magica #magia record #kaname madoka #akemi homura #glasses homura #my ramblings #magia record na #read more #ps:#conspiracy theory time #i think the magireco anime might be a stealth test #to see if doroinu has what it takes #to write/direct the Rebellion sequel

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bazypitchandsimonsnow · 4 years

Text

Being Simon

Chapter 2: The Present

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word Count: 9856

Chapter 2/2 (All chapters)

Summary: Simon is back in his own time, but all he can think about is the man from his past.

Read on AO3

AN: Time for some pining!

———————————————

I wake up on Sunday feeling just as shitty as I did Friday night. No amount of comfort food, hitting my punching bag, or mindless TV have helped. And sleeping it off has done jack shit, because all I could dream was Ty’s soft looking black hair and pretty eyes.

I barely know who he is. I don’t even know his bloody last name. Yet I desperately want to see him again. How that’s going to happen is...well, that’s something I haven’t figured out yet. Every time I’ve opened a door, I’ve hoped I would walk into Dr. Margaret’s office. She can time travel and teleport, surely she’ll know something about one guy I talked to. Right? Right...

I throw off my blankets, sitting up and staring out at the London skyline, lit up in violet and gold by the rising sun. I wonder if he’s out there, looking at the same horizon I am. I wonder if he’s working at his mother’s law firm, or if he’s reading forever like he truly wants. I hope it’s the latter. I want him to be happy. Fuck, I can’t stop thinking about him. The urge to see him again is burning in my chest and gut and everywhere. I’ve never felt like this before; so intensely focused on one person. If only I had looked at his bloody number!

“God,” I groan, “I want waffles. At least I can have that.” I get up and stomp to my door. The second I walk through, I stumble onto a cold stone floor, bright lights flooding my vision.

“Nice pants,” Dr. Margaret says. I pull the hem of my shirt over my Monty Python boxers.

“Seriously, why do you always get me at literally the worst times?”

“Not my fault you never have a good time.”

“Oh, fuck off.” I sit heavily on her couch with my arms crossed. “So what happened? You usually do the post-regret session earlier than this.”

“Time is an illusion. Stop stalling. What did you learn?”

I sigh, sinking further into the cushions. “Well, I learned that Agatha and I didn’t just fall apart, I let it fall apart. I put myself and my own stuff before her time and time again. And I’ve done the same with everyone else after Agatha because I refused to see my part in our relationship ending, so I never tried to fix it. I need to actually be present in and put the work into my relationships. That’s the lesson, right?”

Dr. Margaret scoffs and laces her fingers together, elbows on her desk. “What the hell am I here for?”

I shrug with a little smirk. My ego feels way too inflated right now. “Dunno. You got something else to add?”

“Hm.” She leans forward and pins me with her intense eyes. She’s really good at that. “You’re too scared of being alone to end things when they’re not going well. Why you get dumped every time. See that?”

And pop goes my pride. My face heats up, most likely turning an impressive shade of scarlet. I sink into my seat. “Okay, yeah, you’ve got a point there...”

“Simon.” She moves even closer with a kind smile. “Don’t feel bad. Not a bad person. Were alone most of your childhood, don’t want to be alone again. But can’t keep making choices from fear. Have to make them for the right reasons.”

“What are the right reasons, then?”

“Happiness, growth, all that good shite on greeting cards.”

I let out a small laugh. “Okay, I’ll go pick some up at the corner store.”

“Get some ice cream too. Deserve it after such a long regret.” She leans back in her chair, strong arms crossed behind her head. “Maybe give Agatha a call on the way there. Might know something about a raven haired bloke.”

My pulse goes into double time. I lean forward with eyes wide. “Wait, you mean-”

“Have fun.”

Dr. Margaret nods, and the world spins into a blur of colour around me. Then I'm stumbling through my bedroom door like I haven’t been anywhere at all. Fuck, I hate when she does that. I have to stay against the wall for a few seconds, just until I don’t feel like I’ve been on a bloody tea cup ride for a million years. Part of that might be caused by Dr. Margaret said. My heart is still beating like mad. It’s bruising my fucking rib cage, I swear. Holy shit. Holy shit.

I scramble to grab my phone, half charged on my bedside table. Fourth in my contacts is one Agatha Wellbelove. It’s relieving to see for so many reasons. The phone rings three times, each one making my anxiety ratchet up, until it finally cuts off.

“Hello?” Agatha answers.

“Aggie!” I say a bit too loudly.

“Simon? What are you doing? It’s four in the morning here.”

My stomach sinks. Right. Major events don’t usually change after a regret. “Oh my god, you’re in California. I completely forgot about the time difference, I’m so sorry. I’ll go-”

“It’s alright, I’m already awake now. What’s up?”

“Um...this is going to sound random, but do you remember Ty? Your friend from third year uni?”

“Wow,” she chuckles, “that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.”

Fuck, that’s not a good sign. “Have you, uh, seen him since uni?”

“A little, but not in awhile. We only had a couple more classes together before exams started. We had drinks a few times after, then I went to California right after graduation and he went to Oxford. Both of us were too busy to keep in touch, I guess.”

“Oh. Okay...” I lay down on my bed, Part of me just wants to curl up under my blankets forever. Another part wants to stuff my face with pastries. (Maybe both.) (Both is good.)

“What’s up with asking about Ty?”

“I dunno. I was just thinking about that time we talked. It just, uh, popped into my head” Because I literally just lived it a couple days ago while in time travel therapy, but I can’t say that. I learned a long time ago that no matter how rationally I explain it, no one will believe me.

“Right, you talked to him after our breakup.”

“Yeah. He helped me a lot. I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t still be friends without him. He was nice. In his own weird way.

She laughs quietly. “Yup, sounds like Ty. He acted all haughty but he was such a sweetheart. Wish I had kept more in touch with him more.”

“Me too.” I hug myself, and it helps a little. “Me too.”

“Oh, I think I might still be Facebook friends with him.”

Almost all my despair washes away in an instance and I bolt upright. “Really?!”

“Lemme check.” She makes little contemplative noises through the phone. “Okay, yeah, there he is, Ty Black.”

“Black? That’s his last name?”

“No, he told me he had a crush on Sirius Black and wanted to pretend they were married.”

“Oh...okay.” I start to deflate again. I feel like a leaking balloon. “Does it say anything?”

“Looks like he hasn’t used it in awhile. His last post was a couple of years ago. Says he made partner at a law firm.”

“Does it say which one?”

“No, just that it’s in London. Not surprised, he always wanted to be in the big city.”

I’m grinning ear to ear. He’s in London, my city. He’s here with me. I can find him. “Cool, cool, good to know. Um, anything else you can tell me, Ags? Like his full name?”

“No idea, Si. I actually didn’t know much about him. We spent most of our time gossiping about our classmates or getting shit faced. If I asked him something about his family or past, he’d always change the subject. So I just don’t know.”

I’m not sure how to feel about that. Ty told me things about his family, about his past. But was that because he trusted me instinctively, or because I was just some random bloke who probably wouldn’t remember? Was I convenient? Well, he gave me his number, so he must’ve seen...something in me. Not sure what though. I've never seen much in myself.

“Okay,” I sigh, “makes sense, yeah. Thanks, Agatha.”

“Welcome, and good luck. From what I remember, he was really cute.”

My face turns a bright shade of scarlet. Luckily Agatha can’t tell over the phone. (I think.) “Um, I’m not sure-”

“Please, give me more credit, Simon. I’ve known you for most of your life, I can absolutely tell when you're smitten. Not sure why you’re thinking about him over ten years later, but I support you. I hope it goes well.”

I smile, and I kind of hope she can hear that. “Thanks, Ags.”

“Welcome. Now I’m going to go back to bed. Love you.”

It’s impossible to describe the utter joy and relief I feel at those words. I’ve got Agatha back in my life. Hell, as far as she knows, we never lost touch to begin with. I’m so, so happy.

“Love you too, Ags. Night.”

“Night,” she yawns. The phone clicks off, but I keep grinning. Well, even if I can’t find Ty, this is absolutely a victory. But I’m going to damn well try.

My stomach growls louder than a lion. Waffles first, though. Definitely waffles.

———————————————

“You don’t remember anything about him?” I ask through my mouthful of sweet, delicious fried batter and syrup.

“No, Simon,” Penny sighs. “I don’t remember the guy you mentioned, like, once in the few weeks before our third year exams.”

I grumble. Stupid past me, not saying more. It’s not his fault though. Past versions of me only remember bits and pieces of a regret, just enough so they don’t seem like total weirdos who blacked out and can’t remember a big chunk of time. So it's more like stupid time travel shenanigans.

“Damn, okay. I’ll just keep looking.”

“Are you really going to scour all of London looking for one bloke you met over ten years ago?”

“When you say it like that it sounds stupid.”

“Yeah, it really does.”

“Bye, Penny, got more work to do.”

“Simon-”

I hang up before Penny can talk me out of this. She absolutely will, and I don’t want that right now. I want to find him, no matter how impossible it seems.

First stop is the alumni website, obviously. We went to the same uni, he has to be somewhere in the system. My fingers fly like lightning across the keyboard. No one in the political science or English departments that looks close to him, just a lot of uptight white dudes or hippie looking magazine writers who probably smoke too much weed. None of them have his gorgeous skin or dreamy grey eyes. (God, I want to see those eyes again.)

Next, I try the Oxford law school site. It’s even more impossible to navigate than most uni websites. There aren’t even any pictures of their alumni, just a list of stupidly posh names. Lewison, Pemberly, Grimm, Fairchild, Abbot, Harrington, none of which have a first name resembling Ty. That’s another issue. His name could be a nickname for so many other names. Tyler, Tyson, Tyrell, Tyrone are all possible. (Hope it’s not Tyrone, bloody hell.) Or maybe his name is just Ty, for some reason.

That’s why London 411 is absolutely no help. Apparently there are literally thousands of Ty's living in my city. I narrow it down to people my age, plus or minus a few years and there are still hundreds of Ty’s and Ty adjacents. I groan and rake my fingers through my hair, nails digging into my scalp. Why the fuck didn’t I get his last name? I want to scream at myself but all that would achieve is getting noise complaints from my neighbours.

Eventually, I resort to just straight up Googling. I try everything I can think of. “ty university of manchester,” “ty university of manchester english,” “ty university of manchester politics,” “ty university of manchester english politics,” “ty oxford law,” “ty london lawyer,” “ty london,” “ty sexy hot university of manchester student ashwerhuertjwerh.”

I faceplant my keyboard for longer than I would like to admit. “This is hopeless,” I groan into my table. I lift my head up to the ceiling. “What’s the point of this, Dr. Margaret? Is this some sort of test? Are you trying to give me a bloody ulcer?! Cause the last one is absolutely happening!”

Of course, there’s no answer. I’m not even sure where Dr. Margaret’s office exists relative to myself, or to our reality period. Trying to figure that out makes my brain hurt. I look at the clock, and it’s already seven. Christ, have I really been at this for that long? I should be grading homework like a good teacher. I need to stop. I’m a thirty three year old person, dammit, not a love struck teenager. (Okay maybe I’m both.) I slam my laptop shut and go on a hunt for food.

I heat up some frozen macaroni and take out my munchkins’ worksheets. Okay, these are easy. Math tests are universally understandable and simple most of the time, unlike stupid time travel therapy tests. I shovel bad pasta in my mouth as I fly through grading.

“Good job, Matt,” I mumble through my shitty food. “Got the formula right.”

This is easy. I can do this. And I’m not thinking about Ty. Not at all. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, it will come true.

———————————————

“Nice job there, Roy,” I say. “You summarized the text wonderfully.”

“Thank you, Mr. Snow.” He beams at me with his gap toothed grin.

“You’re very welcome, bud.” I turn to Sufia, who seems to be stuck on the second question. I get down on her level, making my knees ache in the process. It’s worth it. “Need any help, Sufi?”

She holds up her worksheet to me a little too close. “What’s this word mean?”

I gently push the paper back so I can actually read it. (My vision isn't bad enough for that yet.) “‘Ascend,’ it means going up. For example you can ‘ascend the stairs.’”

Her eyebrows knit together. “Why doesn’t it just say go up then?”

“Well, that involves a longer discussion about poeticism that we’re going to have next week, alright?”

“Okay.” She goes back to the worksheet, sticking her tongue out in concentration. I chuckle under my breath. The strange and hilarious things kids do, gets to me every time.

I wander around the room, helping any kid who needs it and giving suggestions when asked. Teaching is less about telling and more about guiding children. It makes me wish a certain someone would guide me instead of leaving me to suffer for the last week.

I’ve still got nothing on Ty, no matter where and how I search. Everyday my hope gets whittled down bit by bit. I’m this close to giving up. There’s only so many hits one person can take, really.

“Yes, that’s a good point, Maeve, I like where you’re going with that,” I say. “How do you think that fits with our earlier readings?”

Maeve scratches her head with the top of her head with her pencil eraser. “Um...I don’t know...”

I crouch down near her. “Well, is there a way for you to remember? Do you have the books on you?”

“No, but I have something better!” She reaches into her absolutely massive backpack (I’m surprised she doesn’t tip over wearing that thing) and pulls out three notebooks. They’re all labeled with divider tabs. It’s insanely organized for a nine year old. “I keep a lot of notes.”

“Wow, I can see that. You like doing that?”

“Yeah! I keep all my notebooks, I like to read them.”

“Smart plan. Wish I kept-”

My mouth snaps shut. The gears are turning in my head. Creaking and slow, but still turning. I’m flung back to a vague memory of being 24, moving into my current flat from my old uni one, and Penny sorting through my random crap. She stood over a mess of all my uni papers next to my desk. Literal years of collected worksheets and notes that I never got around to throwing away.

“Why the hell do you have all these?” Penny asked.

“I wasn’t sure what I’d need for later classes,” I’d said, “then it all just piled up...”

She shook her head at me. “Well, you can’t keep all of it. Pick some stuff you want to keep and we’ll donate or throw out the rest.”

I nodded, then sat cross legged in front of the anxious student hoard. I tossed all the random papers profs handed out but I never read, along with most of my notebooks. But I remember one moment, a single instance that might change everything, when I decided to keep the notebooks that looked nice. Like the green one with vines on it I used in third year. I always kept it in my book bag. I liked the pocket just inside the front cover.

Holy shit.

“Mr. Snow?” I’m snapped out of my weird memory trance back to my reality as a teacher who needs to, y’know, teach. I smile down at Maeve.

“Sorry, mate, spaced out a bit there. Anything else you need help with?”

Maeve points to a new question. “What does this mean?”

I explain the question to her as calmly as I can, not showing how I’m simultaneously panicking and ecstatic inside. Like a fireworks display in every lobe of my brain. Holy fucking shit.

———————————————

The second all the munchkins are out the door, so am I. Luckily I’ve been distracting myself from the Ty search by furiously doing all my lesson planning. I’m set for the next week. But all I’m really thinking about is where I put my bloody notebooks.

I slam my door shut, only vaguely wondering what my neighbours would think. My office (really a repurposed storage room) is a huge mess of textbooks and lesson ideas, like a tornado tore through a Michael’s and a college book store. I make it even worse by throwing object around, searching for one stupid thing. I have to have it, I need to have it. It’s my last chance, honestly. Please, universe, let this go right.

Under my Teaching Theory 5th Edition textbook is a pile of old notebooks, including a green one with vines on the cover. I scramble to open it. My heart skips a beat when I feel a piece of paper. Slowly, I pull it out, and gasp under my breath.

023-345-9876 Give me a call sometime, Snow - Ty

I’ve never typed a number so quickly in my life, though I have to keep hitting backspace because my fingers are shaking so much. And I’m even more nervous as I bring the phone to my ear. Fuck, this is so stupid, but I’m not turning back now. The phone rings three times before it finally gets picked up.

“Basilton Pitch,” a smooth, strong, most likely male voice replies. Well, that sort of sounds like him, but wrong name. My stomach sinks a little.

“H-Hi,” I squeak. I clear my throat so I don’t sound like I’m going through fucking puberty again. “Um...”

“Hello? May I help you?”

“Uh, possibly.” I rub the back of my sweaty neck. “I don’t know if you can help me, but I’m looking for someone who gave me this number a long time ago. Do you know a man named Ty?”

There’s a long, extremely awkward pause on the other side. My face gets more and more red each passing millisecond. I’ve really fucked up, haven’t I? I should just hang up-

“No one has called me that in ages,” he says. “Who are you?”

I gasp very audibly. Holy mother of all fuck. It’s him. I’ve found him! “It’s me!” I shout far too loudly. “I-It’s Simon. We met once in uni, after your friend Agatha broke up with me. I’m not sure if you remember-”

“You’re...you’re Simon Snow.”

“Yeah! That’s me! And you’re Ty, the really nice posh gay bloke who was getting his degree in politics and English then went to law school, right?” I’m grinning, I can’t stop grinning.

“Holy shit, it really is you.”

“Yeah, and you’re you!”

He chuckles, and his voice sounds even brighter than it did all those years ago. “Yes, I am. Though I’ll admit, I’m a bit...confused. Not that I’m ungrateful, but I gave you my number over ten years ago, and you’re only calling me now?”

“Um, yeah...” I scratch my blushing face, quickly concocting up a reasonable story that lacks time travel. “I got caught up in exams, then I, uh...kind of lost the notebook where I put your number. I was so pissed at myself for awhile but what could I do, y’know? Then I was, um, going through my old uni stuff today and take a wild guess at what I found.”

“A notebook with an ancient piece of scrap paper.”

“Still pretty smart, huh?”

“Well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, but I’ll take the compliment.”

My cheeks are starting to ache from smiling. I don’t mind at all. “Happy to give it, and that you haven’t changed your number in over a decade.”

“Thank God for being loyal to a mobile carrier.”

I’m about to say something else, anything to keep talking to him. But then there’s commotion on the other end of the line, and Ty (Basilton?) moves away from the speaker.

“What?” he says. “Yes, I can take a look at your notes, Vadoma, give me a moment.” His voice becomes louder again. “I’m very sorry, I wish I could keep talking, but I have end of the week work to do.”

My shoulders slump. “Oh, okay.”

“From your area code, I’m guessing you’re in London too, so how about we have coffee tomorrow and catch up? Around noon good?”

“Yes!” My voice squeaks again, fuck. Calm down, Simon. “Yeah, that sounds great. Any suggestions?”

“I know a nice little place in Camden if that’s alright.”

“Yeah! I actually live in Camden.”

“What a lovely coincidence. I’ll text you the address?”

“That would be amazing.”

“Great, I’ll see you then, Simon.”

“See you.”

The phone clicks off, but it stays by my ear for another long moment. My brain is still playing catch up.

I found him. I actually found him. My stomach is filled to the brim with a thousand butterflies. I’ve never been this excited about...anything, really. How is it that one guy can make me feel like this? I have no clue, but I don’t care. I’m just looking forward to tomorrow so much.

———————————————

My leg won’t stop bouncing. No matter how deeply I breathe or push down, it just keeps jerking around like a hyperactive toddler. I’m somewhere between excited and completely, utterly terrified. What if he doesn’t show up? Worse, what if he does show up and he doesn’t like me anymore? It’s been over ten years, I definitely don’t look like I did when I was 21 anymore. He could be horribly disappointed with 33 year old me, with my dark circles and crow’s feet and only marginally better fashion sense. I would be.

Fuck, he’s going to laugh in my face isn’t he? My leg bounces even more. I stuff the last of my scone in my mouth then wash it down with strong coffee. Unfortunately that does nothing for my anxiety. I’m stewing in so much worry and fear that I don’t notice a shadow over my table until it decides to speak.

“Hello,” the same smooth, strong voice from the phone and from ten years ago says. I look up, and my heart skips more than one beat.

He’s just as beautiful as he was back then, but in a very different way. Same reddish-gold skin, same deep sea grey eyes, same raven black hair. But instead of looking like some preppy statue, he looks, well, human. He’s dressed in a tucked in white button down with a soft floral pattern. His collar is open, the sleeves are rolled up to the elbow, and it’s even wrinkled in some places, but none of that seems to bother him. More astounding, he’s wearing distressed black denim that hugs his legs in all the right places, a thumb casually hooked in one pocket. Never would I have imagined the uptight bloke I met in jeans. His hair reaches all the way to his shoulders now, falling in a lazy wave that softens the sharp lines of his face. His kind smile absolutely helps too.

This isn’t the same Ty from twelve years ago. This guy is a lot more grown up, and looks so much happier.

“Hello?” he says again. “You there, Snow?”

I shake off the second Ty induced pan-panic of my lifetime. “Uh, yeah. H-Hi, Ty. Oh, wait, you go by Basilton now, right? Or do you like something else?”

He chuckles as he takes his seat across from me. It’s a simple movement yet surprisingly graceful. “Just Baz is fine. It’s less of a mouthful than Basilton.”

“Okay. Hi, Baz.”

“Hello again, Simon. How have you been?”

“Good, good. How about you?”

“Alright. Honestly, I’m still in shock that I’m seeing you again.”

I chuckle and rub my neck nervously. “Yeah, me too. But, uh, you look good. Twelve years later and you’re still stupidly attractive.” My face immediately heats up. “Sorry, that’s weird-”

“I don’t mind. Not at all.” He leans back, arm casually slung over the back of his chair. “You’re still cute as ever, though I am glad your fashion sense has improved.

I must look so ridiculous right now, a thirty three year old man blushing like a smitten schoolboy. How can I help it when he talks like that? “T-Thanks. Your clothes have definitely changed too. What happened to the tweed jacket?”

Baz groans and hangs his head over the back of his chair. I like the way his hair falls. It’s pretty as hell. “Please don’t remind me. God, I don’t even know what I was trying to do back then.”

“Be some posh and professional prat while also being gay as hell?”

His head moves back up and he snaps his long finger and points at me. (I still want to know if he plays piano or not.) “Yes, that sounds right. Conformity and rebellion all at once. I had such insane cognitive dissonance back then, god.” He leans his cheek into his palm, pretty eyes fixed on me. “So what do you do now? Still attacking random men then stealing their cigarettes?”

I chuckle to try to hide my utter embarrassment. “No, but if I remember correctly, you offered me the cigarette.”

“Touche. You still haven’t answered though. What’s your life like?”

I shrug and sigh. “It’s pretty normal. I live in a tiny flat and I alternate between box food and take out, but I’ve got a pretty great job. I teach little kids.”

“So you did end up going into teaching like you wanted?”

“Eventually, yeah. I got sidetracked for...well, until a year ago. But I’ve finally been getting my life together lately. I do my laundry once a week now instead of once a month.”

He laughs, head bending back over the back. It’s so free and open, I’m amazed. “Yes, truly a sign of adulthood, I agree.” Baz sighs and runs his hand through his hair. I like how the black strands fall over his fingers. “I understand being derailed all too well. You should’ve seen me six months ago, I was a train wreck.”

“Really?” It’s hard to imagine Baz as a train wreck. He was so pristine in uni, and even now he still looks absolutely perfect.

“Oh absolutely. I’m humble enough nowadays to admit that you were right, Snow.”

“About what?” I don’t mind being right, but I’m not really used to it.

“About me.” He leans forward, arms crossed and elbows on the table, offering more but still a bit closed off. “All those years ago, you asked why I couldn’t just do what makes me happy. And I said that what I wanted didn’t matter. I had many reasons back then, but in the end they were all bollocks. I learned that the hard way. So, you were right.”

Is it strange that I’m both happy and sad that I was right? It’s absolutely a bittersweet taste on my tongue, like figuring out a lesson about myself from a therapy session. “Well, uh, thanks, I guess. But that sucks. Was the hard way, y’know...really hard? I hope it wasn’t.”

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair again. Honestly, he looks like some romantic hero when he does that. And I didn’t think he could get more attractive. “Well, it wasn’t fun, I can certainly say that. I did what I was supposed to do. Went to Oxford, became a lawyer at the family firm, fought all the cases the way I was supposed to. I kept waiting to not feel like shit every single day, but that never came. Nothing ever got better, and bit by bit small things piled up, completely crushing me. Then, well...” He winces, like someone has kicked them in the shins. “I did something pretty ridiculous.”

My head fills with a flurry of probably insane ideas. I only now realise that I’m leaning a lot closer, entranced and nervous for what Baz has to say. “How ridiculous are we talking?”

“Well,” he bites the corner of his lips (it looks way sexier than it should), “one morning over six months ago, I was looking over my case for the day. Checking notes and arguments, drinking too much coffee alone, smoothing out my suit, the usual. And for some reason, in that moment, a realization hit me; This was going to be the rest of my life. Reading cases, arguing for clients I hated, feeling completely numb all the time. I had been doing all this bollocks for almost ten years, and realistically I would be doing for decades to come. The thought sent me into a terrifying meltdown thanks to years of untreated mental health issues. I didn’t know what to do so I sort of ran away.”

“Ran away?” I chuckle. “In your thirties, I think they usually just call that a vacation.”

“It would have been, if I had told anyone I was leaving and hadn’t stopped answering my phone for weeks.”

My eyes go very, very wide. “Wait, what?!”

“Yeah...” It’s hard to tell in this lighting, but I think Baz’s cheeks turn red. Embarrassment looks cute on him. “After pacing around my flat for hours, I decided to simply leave. Packed a small bag, grabbed my car keys, and just started driving north with no destination in mind. Of course my colleagues started blowing up my mobile, then later my family and friends joined them. I couldn’t bear to answer because I didn’t even fully understand what was going on. I just needed to get far, far away from everything I knew and hated.”

“Where did you go then?”

“To a lot of places,” he sighs. “Mostly bad bars though. I basically drank and danced my way up the British Isle. I think. Honestly, I barely remember that time. It was an alcohol laden haze with brief moments of sober lucidity when I drove. And when I was lucid, I got depressed about my life again so I would drink more that night and pass out.”

“And you did that for how long?” My heart is beating a bit too fast. I know he’s fine, yeah, but still, the worry is eating away at me.

“Only a month,” he says, like that’s in any way a relief. “At the end of September, I stayed at a shitty inn in Scotland. I remember walking down the hall, and the next thing I knew I was in a hospital with my aunt by my side. She equal parts screamed at me and was relieved I was okay. Turned out I had fallen down the stairs while severely hungover like a bad Monty Python skit.”

He laughs, but there’s sadness behind it. Just like his smile over ten years ago. The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess.

“Obviously I was fine.” He waves dismissively. “I spent two weeks recovering in the hospital. Which gave me a lot of time to think about myself and my future. By the end, I had decided to take an actual leave of absence from my work to focus on my mental health. And I did. Started therapy, stopped drinking, bought some clothes that weren’t bloody lawyer suits.” I can’t help but giggle. Baz’s smile has no sadness behind it this time.

“So I guess you’re not a lawyer anymore?”

He shakes his head. “Absolutely not. I quit a week after I got back to London, then started applying for book editor jobs.”

I grin wide. I can’t stop grinning. “Reading books forever.”

There’s a lovely glint in his eye. Like someone ripped Polaris from the heavens and put it in the deep sea grey of his eyes. (God the poetry unit is getting to me.) It’s a kind of playful happiness that I really, really like.

“You remember,” he says amused.

“Of course!” He smiles wider, eyebrows raising up. Now it’s my turn to blush like a teenager. I sheepishly rub the back of my neck, thinking of a reason that doesn’t include time travel. Or obsessing over our one conversation for a week. “Well, I-I’ve remembered some stuff. You just kind of, uh, y’know, stuck in my head.”

“Hence why you still called me ten years later.”

“Yeah.” I tilt my head down a bit, uselessly trying to hide how ridiculous I look. “I mean, I’m not really sure why. You were just...really different from anyone I’ve met. You were so, pretty and posh and smart, and at first I found it annoying. But the more we talked I realised you were nice, in your own strange way. And without your help I would have lost Agatha in my life forever. I dunno. You made an impression. You’ve come up in my head from time to time.”

Technically that’s not a lie. By time to time I just mean all the time for days. Though I have a vague feeling, a whisper of a half memory, that past me may have thought about Baz too. Some things always stick post-time travel no matter how much past me is supposed to forget. Usually it’s only the super important, impactful things. Looking at Baz’s incandescent smile, framed by wavy black hair, I think he might count.

“Honestly,” he says, his voice low in a very private way that I like, “you’ve come up in my head too. Especially during my crisis. I thought about how right you were back then, how I should have listened to you and maybe wouldn’t have wasted so much of my life if I had. But I was too stubborn and blind back then to”

“Hey, stop that.” I somehow lean even closer. I’m this close to actually getting out of my chair. “Don’t beat yourself up so much. Remember that you had good reasons back then, and yeah it really sucked to go through all that, but you learned stuff right?”

“I suppose...”

“Then it wasn’t a waste.” Baz’s eyes narrow. A softer version of a glare, but he's still not totally happy. “Yeah, I know that’s easy to say, but I do kinda get it. Working in jobs I hated, never dating, never really doing anything for years, that all felt like a total waste. Sometimes it feels like my life is only just starting now at bloody 33. But I think struggling also gave me the drive to work harder now, live better. So did being a lawyer give you anything good?”

Baz looks really cute when he’s thinking. I like the way everything in his face pinches up, from the furrowed manicured brow to the slight pout of his bottom lip. (Don’t think about kissing that pout, do not think about it.) (Fuck I’m thinking about it.) Slowly, his expression softens.

“I learned,” he starts, “that I can’t force myself to love something. I thought if I was a lawyer long enough, I would at least learn to tolerate doing it, but I still hated every moment. I can’t keep living for other people’s expectations. At least that’s how my therapist puts it. Maybe I’ll fully listen to her one day.”

I let out a laughing snort and immediately cover my mouth in embarrassment. I hate when I do that. But Baz grins at me. The amused, affectionate glint in his eyes makes me want to blush even harder. My stomach feels like it’s full of rocks and butterflies all at once. It’s so overwhelming and wonderful.

“Took me a while to listen to my therapist too,” I say. “Actually fixing yourself is hard.”

“Tell me about it,” Baz groans, hanging his head for a moment, hair like a wavy curtain around his face. “It took ages for me to realise that I didn’t know everything that was wrong with me. Instead I had to actually listen to someone else’s assessment of me and not interject my own thoughts every time. Do you know how frustrating that is for a know it all like me?!”

“I can only imagine,” I giggle. My thoughts immediately go to Penny and the first time she got drunk. My ears rang for hours from all her yelling about not actually being drunk. She and Baz might get along. (Maybe a little too well. God, could I deal with two of them together?) (Hopefully, because I want Baz to stick around for awhile.)

“I live in absolute agony.” He puts the back of his hand against his forehead like a dramatic Victorian maiden. I’m about to call him that when my stomach decides to rumble louder than a bloody earthquake. The corner of Baz’s mouth quirks up. “You hungry there, Snow? I can get us something.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m always hungry. But I can buy it, don’t worry.”

“Nonsense. I was the one who asked you out and picked the place, I’ll happily pay.”

“Out like a date?” The words spill out before I have a chance to stop them.

I’m pretty sure even the tips of my ears have turned bright pink at this point. Shit, why did I say that? Calm down, Simon. This is (technically) the first time we’ve seen each other in twelve years. No need to make this something it may not be. I expect Baz to be shocked, or confused, or annoyed at worst. But once again today, Baz surprises me. All he does is smile, looking at me with such kindness, far more open than I remember he was back at uni.

“Would you like this to be a date?” There's no pretense or implication in his words, he’s legitimately asking me. I don’t feel pressured, but luckily I already know.

“Yes, yeah, I-I would. I’d like that a lot.” I reach my hand forward across the table and just barely brush our fingers together. The tips of his are rough. Maybe he plays guitar or something, not piano. Doesn’t matter. I like the way he feels anyway.

Baz grins pointy ear to pointy ear. He flips his hand over, long callused fingers pressing into the much softer skin of my inner wrist. He can probably feel the way my pulse jumps. Luckily, I can feel the way his own is hammering. “Me too, Simon.”

We spend a bit too long just staring at each other before my stomach grumbles again. Baz chuckles and flags down the very nice waiter. I get another cherry scone and hot chocolate (yes I am 12 on the inside), and Baz gets something called a pumpkin mocha breve.

“What on Earth is that?” I ask when Baz gets his drink. It’s pale orange with a mountain of whipped cream on top.

“Try it.” He offers the cup to me and I take a sip. My tongue is immediately assaulted with more sugar that I’ve ever tasted at once. I blink rapidly from the shock.

“It tastes like a candy bar.”

“What can I say, I have a sweet tooth.” He licks the whipped cream off the top like a toddler with ice cream. A dollop gets on the tip of his nose.

“You’ve uh, got something right...” I flick the cream off with my thumb, “there.”

He laughs quietly. “Thank you. Allow me to return the favour.” Baz brushes some scone crumbs from my cheek. My skin feels like it’s on fire.

“T-Thanks.”

“You’re very welcome.”

We eat and drink and talk in between. Baz tells me about his work at the publishing house. It’s a small place that does mainly e-books and a few print ones, focusing on indie LGBT+ writers. He’s currently working on a book he describes as “gay polyamorous steampunk pirates,” which honestly gets me way too excited. I plan on pestering him for more details in the future. He looks animated the whole time, so passionate about what he’s doing. It makes him more beautiful.

He asks about my teaching. I tell him about my students, how incredible they are no matter how much they drive me crazy. I describe my lesson plans and all the new things I’m trying. Structured word inquiry, collaborative maths work, mixing subjects together to get kids engaged with stuff they don’t like. Luckily my principal is in favour of more out there ways of teaching too. Baz pays attention, asks questions and listens raptly. I can’t tell if he’s faking it. Most people do. I can’t blame them, it’s not very interesting. But as I go on and on, Baz never tries to change the subject or stares off into space. It’s not like he’s an angel for paying attention to me. It’s just nice that he’s making the effort. He’s really, really nice.

We eventually move off the topic of work. I tell him about my fencing class, something I haven’t done since I went to Watford. Baz calls me a bronze haired knight. I’m not too proud admit that made me blush. In turn, Baz tells me about getting back into playing the violin since he quit being a lawyer. (So that’s what the calluses are from).

“Cold I hear you play sometime?” I ask.

“My skills are still rusty,” he says over his near empty mug.

“Is that a no then?”

He sighs, but it’s with a small smile. “More like a ‘listen at your own risk.’”

“I can live with that.”

“Alright, another time then.”

I grin. Another time, I really like the sound of that.

Eventually, we somehow get onto the harder topics. I tell him about being in group homes, not having friends until Penny and Agatha, still feeling out of place and worthless sometimes. Baz talks about growing up without his mother, trying to live for her instead of himself until recently. Turns out we’ve both had a lot of hardship. We understand each other. We sort of match, I guess.

“I did like being with my younger siblings,” Baz sighs. “No matter how much I pretended I didn’t. Part of me felt like I was betraying my mother if I loved her husband’s children with another woman. But they were still my siblings and good kids, though I’m glad they’re all mostly tolerable ages now.”

I chuckle, leaning my cheek on my fist. “Mm, understandable. I always wanted siblings. Other kids to play with, y’know?”

“Group home kids didn’t play with you?”

“Nah, I was the weirdo who preferred punches over talking. No one liked being around me.”

Baz reaches out and brushes against my forearm. How can someone make me feel like I’m going to melt with just a touch? “If it’s any consolation, I certainly like being around you.”

I grin and touch his arm in turn. “I’ll certainly take that.”

We get away from all the dark shit, turning back to happier things. Baz describes the techniques and difficulties of the violin with dramatic gusto. I relay some of my worst customer service work experiences. I’ve never been good at talking, never liked it much. But I like it with Baz. He feels easy to talk to. I barely feel scared or awkward. We talk so much that we don’t even notice the sun setting on the horizon.

“Holy shit what time is it?” I say.

Baz looks down at his fancy leather watch. (A leftover from his prep days.) “Much later than I think either of us realised.”

I laugh and run a nervous hand through my hair. “Damn, sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize, Snow, unless you regret being here?”

“What?!” I gasp. “Of course not!”

He grins cheekily. I grumble and glare at him. Teasing bastard. Baz grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together. Any bad will immediately vanishes. “You said you lived in Camden. How close are we?”

“Uh, not that far. I walked here.”

“Wonderful. How about I pay then walk you home like a gentleman?”

I hope my face doesn’t look as hot as it feels. I squeeze his hand. “I’d like that a lot.”

He squeezes back. “Good.”

Baz does just as he says, and soon enough we’re strolling down the streets under the dimming London sky. We chat some more, but also occasionally just walk in comfortable silence. I don’t mind either, because Baz doesn’t let go of my hand the whole time. I’ve never felt so excited just from someone holding my hand. I don’t know why. I don’t care, really. I just want to bask in it forever.

Unfortunately though, we do reach my building. Never have I hated my own home more. I consider not telling Baz so we can keep walking, but then I remember all the homework I was supposed to grade yesterday while I was too excited about Baz to focus. I’ll need a good night’s sleep to survive. Life is too cruel sometimes.

“This is me,” I say.

“Nice place,” Baz replies.

“You don’t need to lie.”

“I’m not, I promise.” His head tilts to the side, a smirk on his lips. “Maybe I could see if your flat matches up sometime.”

I swear to god, my face is going to melt off from how much I’m blushing today. Baz laughs at my obviously flabbergasted expression. I playfully smack his shoulder. “Haha, very funny. Buy me dinner first, arsehole.”

He tugs me a bit closer by our joined hands. My nose is almost touching his. The smell of his post coffee peppermint gum hits me so hard I’m afraid I’ll stumble from the wonderful shock. “Are you free next Friday?”

I gulp, then nod slowly. I can’t look away from his mouth, fuck “Y-Yeah.”

“Good for you.” He takes a large step back, snapping me out of my daze. He’s got a cheeky little half smile on his lips. “I’m not, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy the free time.”

I gape at the absolute bastard. I shove his shoulder a bit harder this time. “Arsehole!”

Baz throws his head back laughing. It’s the most beautiful sound in the noisy London night. He takes my other hand and runs his thumb over the back of it. “Unfortunately, I am actually tied up for the next week, but I’m free the week after. Any ideas, Snow?”

I grin at him. “How about a scenic walk in Hyde Park?”

One of his eyebrows goes up in playful confusion. “Not dinner?”

“We’ll get to dinner eventually. I expect to be romanced a bit more first, Basilton.”

He smirks again and pulls me closer again “That doesn’t sound bad at all. Hyde Park will be lovely this time of year.”

“Agreed.”

Even though by all rational logic we should let go, our hands stay linked. Neither of us make a move to get away. I can smell the peppermint again, every time his hot breath brushes against my face. It’s somewhat shaky. But I imagine mine is about the same. I’m not sure. I’m too focused on his sharp cheekbones and blown pupils and pouty mouth. Mostly his mouth. Before I know it, we’re nose to nose. I’m getting whiffs of something other than his gum. Cedar, maybe, and bergamot. It’s perfect for Baz. He moves his face slightly, and our mouths almost touch. A spark still runs through my veins.

“Simon,” he sighs, and the sound of his voice hits me in so many places. Baz’s head moves again, brushing our noses together. I watch his eyes flutter like a pair of butterflies until they fully close. Mine follow suit. I’m overwhelmed by the smell of cedar and bergamot as I press my mouth to Baz’s.

He’s colder than I thought they would be, colder than anyone I’ve kissed before. Yet I like it so much more. Baz’s tepid mouth sends a calming wave through my constantly overheated body. He’s soft too, like how I imagine a cloud could feel if I was ever able to touch one. Our lips slot together so easily. His hands clutch mine tighter, nails even digging into my skin. Not good enough. Not close enough. I let go of Baz, but only so I can slide my arms up to hold his shoulders, pressing our bodies together. Baz immediately winds his arms around my waist, getting us even closer. He’s all lovely lean muscle pressed against me. And I fit into his arm so well. My lips fall open and Baz quickly follows. His tongue slowly over my back teeth, making stars explode behind my eyes and in my brain. I kiss him more fervently. Baz groans into my mouth.

Part of me can’t believe that we’re doing this. Two thirty three year old men, snogging like stupid teenagers on the steps of my apartment building. Sounds so embarrassing. The other part of me really doesn’t care. I’ve never felt like this just from a kiss. Like I’ve left my body and entered another dimension where all there is happiness and pleasure and Baz. Is this how all kisses are supposed to feel? Or is it because of Baz? I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just weave my fingers through his silky smooth black hair and keep kissing this wonderful, wonderful man.

Baz pulls away, and I nearly whine. Luckily I still have a bit of dignity. (Just a bit.) He doesn’t let go of me, thank god. He keeps his lovely hands on my waist, eyes still half closed, bright red lips pulled into a grin.

“Do you always kiss on the first date, Snow?” he whispers playfully.

“No, you’re the first.” I twirl a bit of his wavy hair around my index finger. “Feel special?”

“Extremely.”

I lean forward and kiss him again for a moment. Just a quick, hard press against him. Baz leans forward slightly when I pull away. My heart flutters happily in my chest. “As much as I’d like to keep doing this, it’s late, and I’ve got grading to do.”

He makes an over dramatic groan, leaning against my hands. “How dare you be a responsible teacher who is truly committed to educating the next generation?”

God, he’s making me want to kiss him again. He does it so easily. “I know, terribly inconvenient. We’ll figure something out, yeah?”

“Yes, give me a call. And don’t wait twelve years this time.”

I sigh while Baz smirks at me. I’m about to retort when he leans down and kisses me. My head is spinning like a tumble dryer. I don’t want this day to ever end. Unfortunately, reality is a thing that exists. And because of it, Baz has to pull back, leaving me wanting more.

“I’ll text you when I get home,” he says, “alright?”

“Alright. Have a good night, Baz.”

“You too, Simon.”

He pecks my forehead, and I nearly melt into the pavement. We then slowly disentangle ourselves. My fingers trail on Baz’s as he lets go. He waves one more time. I smile back. And I keep smiling as I watch him walk down my street, only going for my keys when I lose sight of him as he turns the corner. I literally skip up my steps to my door. I’m so dazed with happiness that I barely notice that I walk into Dr. Margaret’s office instead of my dingy lobby.

“Snogging in public?” she says. “How very adolescent.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “That’s what you say after abandoning me for a week?”

She snorts, leaning back in her chair. “Didn’t abandon you. Just let you figure things out on your own. Point of therapy, remember?”

“Well, yeah, I know that. A little heads up would be nice though.”

“Not my style.”

It’s my turn to snort. I plant myself on her couch. “I know, you’re more of the ‘toss in the deep end and yell swim’ kind of therapist.”

“Mhm. And look how it turned out. Found your Baz.”

My eyes narrow even more. “How do you know his name?” Dr. Margaret just keeps smiling at me like a cat who’s caught a canary. The realisation slaps me in the face. My jaw drops open. “You knew exactly who and where he was the entire time, didn’t you?” No change, still smiling. “How?!”

“Though about him. Saw his whole life in my mind’s eye.”

My jaw falls further. Holy shit, how powerful is she? “Really?!”

“No.” She pulls a plastic card out of her pocket, holding it between her index and middle finger like a throwing star or something. “Swiped his uni ID and Googled him here. Much faster than powers.”

I can’t help but burst out laughing. Godlike abilities have nothing on a good search engine, it seems. “Of course you did.”

She shakes her head sarcastically. “Can’t believe you. Send you back in time, and you wonder how I know about one bloke?”

“Uh, yeah. Knowing everything is a bit different from time travel.” I lean forward with elbows on my knees. “Why didn’t you tell me about him then? Why make me suffer for a week?”

“Suffering now?”

“Well, no, now that I’ve found him-”

“And what made you want to find him?”

I rub the back of my neck, trying to coax the words out from my brain. “Uh, I dunno. I know we met only once, but he just stuck in my head. He was interesting, smart, funny and nice in his own way. And I wanted to talk to him again, learn more about him. It was overwhelming, really. How much I wanted to be around Baz again. I-I’ve never felt something like that so strongly before.”

“Exactly.” Dr. Margaret picks up a pen just to point it at me. “Felt strongly for the first time ever. Made you determined even to find him when it was hard. And never felt this strongly because you always settled for okay. Felt okay with Agatha, with Todd, with everyone. Need better than okay. Need to want someone more so you can build more. Make a relationship that’ll actually go somewhere.”

My eyebrows furrow. “I thought I needed to focus on the present more.”

“You do. In the present, desire Baz right?”

I think about Baz’s pretty eyes and his pretty laugh and the way he made my head do somersaults when he kissed me. My flushed face splits into a grin. “Yeah, I really do.”

“Good.” She leans back again with her hands linked behind her head. “Build from there. Put the effort in like you did searching for him. Will want to put the effort in, because you actually want him, not just because he’s nice and you should like him.”

The puzzle pieces start to slide into place finally. It was all one big, weird life lesson, of course, like everything Dr. Margaret gets me to do. Looking back, I cared about Agatha, and I did love her as a friend. But I never desired her. I never desired Todd or any of my other exes either. They just seemed like the kind of people you should date. They weren’t even bad, they just weren’t for me, weren’t who I wanted.

But dear lord, do I want Baz.

“You couldn’t just tell me I was dating people I wasn’t actually attracted to?” I ask. “That I was actually supposed to feel more but I was settling for nice people I didn’t really like instead?”

Dr. Margaret shakes her head. “Not how therapy works. Supposed to guide you to find the answers, not tell you outright. Where’s the fun in that?”

I cross my arms and smirk at her. “Since when is therapy fun?”

She glares at me hard. “Brat. Lucky that I like you.”

“Aw. I’m touched.” My voice is sarcastic, but my bright smile is genuine. I’m glad she likes me. I’m glad she’s here to help me finally live my life. I hate to think where I’d be without her help. From her returning grin, I think she knows that.

“Go do your grading. Be a responsible teacher. See you next time.”

“See you later, Dr. Margaret.”

She waves her hand, gold rings flashing in the light, and the world spins like a cyclone. I yelp as I fall flat on my arse on my apartment floor. Well, at least she didn’t put me back in the lobby so I had to climb all those stairs. Small blessings, take 'em where I can get ‘em. And Dr. Margaret herself is already a huge one.

After getting out of my day clothes and into trackies, I set about to my teacher's work. It’s not the most fun part of the job but it’s certainly the most important. I’m lost in a haze of spelling tests and math activities when I feel my phone buzz. There’s one text on the screen, and it makes me smile instantly.

Baz Hey, made it home safe. I had a lovely time today and can’t wait to see you again. Call me tomorrow at lunch?

Is it possible to die from such pure happiness and excitement? I hope not, because I’ve still got so much more of my life I want to live. And I want to see if Baz will be a big part of it.

Simon me too. call you at noon <3

———————————————

AN: Mushy ending, as usual for me haha. I really hope you all liked that! Even if you don't know the original show, I hope it was good. I really liked the idea of Simon in time travel therapy, it would be good for him. Tbh I thought about making Ebb his therapist because she was such a mentor for him, but I wanted to try out Margaret and she ended up being a lot of fun. I may write more in this universe. There are other Being Erica plotlines that could be fun. And exploring Baz and Simon's relationship in this AU further could be great. We'll see. I'm taking writing day by day due to my health. Anywho, thanks for reading!

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #being erica au #time travel #time travel therapy #fluff #angst #first meetings #mysnowbazfic

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