#obsessed with these fucked up rich people they are too fun to draw

[spookygibberish]

Misc throne concepts idr if I've posted before

#jar of mice #Thrones #obsessed with these fucked up rich people they are too fun to draw

[todayisafridaynight]

STOP I OVERPLAYED ODE TO JOY WHILE LEARNING PIANO 😭😭😭😭😭

However! I am happy to share and am so glad you see the vision. Sorry In Advance to you and all your followers for the spam but here is a (mostly corrupted) office tour (please note the "Mine Power"-brand gym equipment):

P.S. I recall really liking The Wings of the Kirin, please enjoy!

EVERYONE OVERPLAYED ODE TO JOY GROWING UP IT CAME WITH YOUR PARENTS FORCING YOU TO LEARN THE PIANO LERKJALEKJ

BUT OH MY GOD NO DON'T APOLOGIZE THIS IS LITERALLY PERFECT I thank you again for my life this is so important to me you have no idea

#fave #snap chats #'parents' more like my mom. #BUT YEAH I PLAYED ODE TO JOY ALL THE TIME GROWING UP TOO ITS WHY I HAD A STROKE AT THE END OF Y7 VLKALVJLK #getting the sims just to make mines apartment brb. fr tho why the fuck dont i have the sims thats Architecture Simulator #but more importantly i have a sick obsession with having the layout to buildings #i havent posted any of them but i have a bunch of sketches of various rooms/buildings in the RGG series #i dont imagine many people would want to see those so thats why i have them hoarded #obvi i ref them when drawing stuff but theyre also just fun to draw.... #THIS type of stuff is BEYOND valuable to me tho this is my crack. my cocaine even. i live for shit like this #my dad used to be involved with architecture and real estate so i'm gonna blame him for that #BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY im saving all of these theyre so so so important to me i cant thank you enough #im sure others will greatly appreciate these as well #even if it's a bit 'corrupted' i can definitely DEFINITELY salvage these #im going to laugh if he has his own gym equipment brand. is that what his company's done this entire time #was his 'research' just gettin fuckin yolked Cant Believe This #i wonder if mine has a bedroom somewhere though i cant imagine it being in the same room as the piano. unless rich people do that. #theres just so much dead space in that area aside from the piano and it looks like to be a pretty sizeable room.. PURELY just The Piano Roo #like its fuckin luigis mansion over here. not impossible i guess. very strange thing to have. esp if its connected to the GYM #its not even in connected to the main part of the office where you can realistically be like 'lets go into the next room for piano' #you gotta cut through the gym first bro what the fuck is this #but what are those closet-esque bits behind the piano? unless im blind. what purpose would you have to put a closet in a piano room #if its sheet music you keep that under the chair or something #even through the mesh it still looks like those lead to a skinny hallway... idk im rambling #ill study these more in depth later BUT THANK YOU AGAIN #OH BUT i'm about halfway through the movie so far and im def enjoyin it ! #i always like it in crime shows/movies where the answer seems Obvious at first but then as the case goes on its like #Oh God Wait. Hold On Let's Double Check #again i'm halfway through the movie but i always love it when i feel uncertain about the situation ☠️☠️ #it's just fun watching all the pieces come together so yeah im def enjoyin !

[vypridae]

You seem to be the only one making brokerdoll (thanks for the ship name btw) content, and I wanted to know if you have any more headcannon s, or just general thoughts on the ship. I'm starved for content

okay a. you are so welcome for the ship name i shit you not i spent like ten minutes just being like WHAT DO I CALL THEM because i couldn't figure out a word that would go well with "doll" (as velvette's ship names tend to have in them)

ANYWAY!! HEADCANONS !! i had a post uuuh here (that took me so much longer to find than it should have) of some hcs but here are some more!! (if this took forever to get out i apologize my brain is working at 2 wpm rn and sometimes thinking of hcs is hard)

after they started dating, carmilla starts buying velvette clothes she sees that she thinks velvette will love

spoiler alert: every single piece she buys for vel is exactly her style

i like to imagine carmilla is pleasantly rich, even in comparison to the other overlords, because her weapons and parts and whatnot just sell super well

so she gets so much money to spoil velvette with and she UTILIZES it

velvette's love language i imagine is acts of service or getting gifts (she knows they love her when they get her stuff) and carmilla's is gift giving, which neither of them seemed to realize until velvette literally squealed in joy when carmilla bought her a jewellery set she'd been wanting for FOREVER

also since singing is apparently just a canon thing in the hazbin universe, i cannot for the life of me stop imagining pre-relationship velvette sneaking vox's camera footage from inside carmilla's bunker(?) (of which he got velvette, conveniently, to put there after the overlord meeting) onto her phone just to listen to carmilla sing over and over and over again.

vox and val HAVE walked into her room to see her with her phone sitting on her dresser, watching the same footage of carmilla singing out for love for the 138147985th time

(they don't question it because lets be real they have their obsessions too)

post-relationship, velvette probably posts a bunch of fake online drama about her and carmilla because she thinks its funny to see people being like OMG??? WHAT NO WAY

carmilla is like "cariño why are you posting that we broke up. again." and velvette is like "just for funsies, babe <3"

velvette probably ends up showing carmilla how to use social media because let's be so fr she probably has no clue

velvette loves running her fingers through carmilla's hair and probably has just as much fun actually doing it up as carmilla has with velvette's

painting nails ?? carmilla paints velvette's and paints little white swirl designs over the black polish and velvette draws cute little pink hearts on carmilla's

(yes, they do both get questioned about it)

velvette probably wanted to start a friends w/ benefits (or enemies with benefits) relationship with carmilla but she knew for a fact carmilla would deny INSTANTLY

ok look they aren't married but matching rings ... carmilla wears hers as a necklace and velvette shows off her ring (that she keeps saying is "marriage proposal material" when its not) to literally everyone forever

possessive carmilla? only slightly. she glares daggers and probably throws said daggers at anyone who tries anything to velvette

pre-relationship velvette pining she progressively started sitting closer and closer to carmilla during meetings until she was in the chair next to her like zestial is during ep 3

(she lies out her ass and says it's "so i can annoy her easier, obviously" but she's just gay)

(carmilla starts noticing when velvette starts arriving to meetings earlier rather than later so she can get the seat she wants)

also velvette probably ended up convincing staticmoth to stay away from overlord meetings specifically so they can't tease her for being head over heels in hate-love with carmilla when she's in the same vicinity as her (of which they agree with because its more time for them to do What Ever The Fuck Their Gay Asses Do)

(also vox has cameras set up at the meeting room)

(guess who gets teased to heaven and back by two (2) overlords when she gets home)

(they both know the struggles of a weird obsession with another demon, they know how to poke and prod at velvette until she admits her gayness to them)

they probably ended up convincing her to confess tbh

(which doesnt happen for Several Years, probably)

either that, or carmilla finds a letter on her chair in the meeting room signed "~V" and opens it and it just says "we should be homos" or something stupid like that AJHAKASHJ

firm hc that velvette cannot confess for her fucking life . she doesnt like being vulnerable

lucky for her, carmilla 100% sends back a letter thats signed with "C. Carmine" and says "We can date, if that's what you mean by "being homos"" or something HAHAHASGFJ

#xanbox #xanthinks #hazbin hotel #hazbin #hh #velvette #carmilla carmine #velvette hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #carmilla hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel carmilla #hazbin carmilla #the vees #vox #valentino #staticmoth #brokerdoll #dollbroker #velmilla #carvette #carmilla x velvette #velvette x carmilla #IM WAITING FOR THOSE TAGS TO GET POPULAR ... IM WAITING

[sleepydrabbles]

Things I Have Been Obsessed With:

Wings

Scars

Injury

Pain

Loneliness

Description of Emotion

Manga (as a specific art form)

Anime (as a specific art form)

Bakugan

D Gray Man

Pokemon

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Horses

Japanese (the language, yes.)

Describing personal experience

Money (not in the fun get-rich-quick way, no)

Drawing

Writing Original Stories

Writing Fanfiction (yes, that’s a different art form entirely)

Photography (of small things)

Organization (konmari’d the fuck out of my room three times)

Social Connection (I’ve elaborated on this too many times to explain here)

Astrology (Babylonian, Chinese, Personality Typing, etc.)

Random Generators (using them)

The floor (my RA has a photo of me lying on the dorm floor because I still find it nice and grounding)

Religion (mostly Ancient Greek, Ancient Roman, some Ancient Egyptian. Never got around to the Catholic Saints but it was a desire)

Piano (quit because brother stole my piano book and hid it for ‘being annoying’)

Fairy Idol Kanon (it’s a real series I swear)

Happy Happy Clover (manga)

Pandora Hearts

My Hero Academia

Genshin Impact

Books (Book Hoarding, Dragon Style)

Dragons

How to Train Your Dragon

Rise of the Guardians

BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan, Beyond the Scene, etc.)

SEVENTEEN (kpop group)

Fashion (continues to baffle me)

Stretching (Inherited super stiff, tense muscles and wanted to be able to touch my toes)

Pilates

Haikyuu

Aikatsu (anime)

Nest Building (as in bedding, comfy clothes, etc.)

Food experimentation (not anything wild. Grapes and yogurt wrapped up in a tortilla was pretty good)

the details TM (apparently. I get told frequently that I notice the little things. I do not think they are little things. I continue to miss things my mother finds obvious.)

Tragedy (why the fuck did I read so many books about people suffering and getting hurt as a teenager. I can’t stand true crime, but I did read “Reviving Ophelia” by Mary Pipher and it did some serious damage)

Music (as a listener. I was looking for a vibe that I have now found successfully many times over but still can’t describe to people, lmao)

Eragon by Christopher Paolini

Circle of Magic series by Tamora Pierce

Harry Potter (spare me. I was eleven.)

The Fire Within Series by Chris D’Lacey (just checked to make sure I didn’t hallucinate it)

Mistborne Series by Brandon Sanderson

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (my copy is a wreck of notes and underlined parts)

Studio Ghibli Movies (My Neighbor Totoro, Spirited Away, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Howl’s Moving Castle, Ponyo, Song of the Heart)

Avatar the Last Airbender

Tourist Spots in Japan (I’ve since discovered through personal experience that the normal city streets are my favorite)

“Aesthetics”, as in the practice of throwing together a bunch of photos with similar color schemes and themes and calling it a summary of a vibe

Eve’s Music (JPOP)

Yoasobi’s Music (JPOP)

Kenshi Yonezu’s Music (JPOP)

Aimer’s Music (JPOP)

Teddy Bears and stuffed animals

Stickers

Swimming

My Little Pony

Littlest Petshop

Barbie

American Girl Doll

Vague Endings to Stories

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

Found Family

LGBTQ+ Labels and Groupings

Gender Presentation

Yaoi

Throwback Lists of 2000s Dance Songs

Character Playlists (That spotify thing where you name a playlist ‘[character] vibes’ and fill it with songs you think could be their theme)

Fairies (specifically that one book of flower fairies that’s really old and cute and seasonal)

Elves

being a Good Student TM (grades looked great! Other stuff not so much)

Human Biology

Drawing Manga Style

The Concept of Art

#this is an exercise in self awareness #mostly because I tend to classify all my interests #into easy-to-understand umbrellas #like manga #anime #etc #but the reality is #I was obsessed with certain features of the thing #and a lot of people find themselves put off #when they go to have a typical fan conversation with me #and I start taking tangent after tangent #until we’ve gone in circles together

[crabcrabcrabmeat]

ten films i love, tagged by @javert

Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack (1988) Utterly obvious to die girlies auf tumblr but don’t worry, it’s the only franchise gatekeepy one. God tier animation, OST that gives me heart palpitations, plot symbolically rich in a way that draws me back. Absurdly ambitious and largely pulls it off. Insane. Phantom of the Paradise (1974) I’m a sucker for leitmotifs being re-contextualized and this movie is exactly that. I think a lotta people are put off by musicals because they expect Glee shit, so a horror rock opera that plays w genres is a style that slaps. In fact, it’s style over substance to the point that while the character Beef was made with homophobic intent(?), he makes for killer camp. So influential it buried its own grave deeper, but when my drag career continues proper I WILL have it step out of RHPS’s shadow. Magnetic Rose (1995) This one’s arguably cheating, it’s a short film within a theatrical omnibus and the only one of the trio I rewatch, lol. Better experienced than described, but iirc it’s the first screenplay credit of Satoshi Kon and his style benefits the conceit greatly. The space physics are top tier too. Bound (1996) Genre fiction that fucks. Akira (1988) After watching this for the first time, I wore a rip of it on a USB necklace for like a good month, lol. If you’ve seen so many homages and #aesthetic gifs that its memetically weakened, the manga will be a better vehicle for experiencing the actual plot and themes. (Kaneda isn’t a cool protag! He’s not even in it for a full volume!) But I fortunately got to go into it w next to no preconceptions. Tampopo (1985) One of those art-house pics that’s fun to general audiences. I wouldn’t watch it with young kids or new friends tho given the prawn scene, lmao. The Terminal (2004) Not a masterpiece by anyone’s standards, but it was my fav for years as a child and I’ve been told “thats so you” or “that explains so much” lmao. I still do love seeing how peoples values and coping mechanisms materially shape their world, so, fair! As an adult, i think Tucci’s character holds up the best, his tone is comedically sound while being realistically mundane for an american authoritarian, lol. Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) A breath of fresh air in style and substance. It’s like a vaccine against MCU sludge. God I need to watch more new wave. The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970) Again, former obsessions here, not necessarily top quality. The first vignette is the only one that sticks with me, but boy does it! Gold standard for any fanfiction or diagetic media criticism. Mikey and Nicky (1976) Ough. Love me a good tragedy. This one manages to hit so hard it even overcomes Peter Falk being styled (‘styled’) like Columbo—italian accent and all— while playing a jewish gangster lol.) You know that post about how the more serious and well made a story is, the more likely its fandom makes unhinged memes? That’s me every time I make a “full of milk” joke abt this movie or realize it’s fundamentally changed my experience of taking antacids.

Anyways please note that i’ve structured this list so that the first and last entries form a niche parallel. That is to say, a personal fav scene in both Mikey & Nicky and CCA is where the lead guys fistfight and tumble onto the ground in a blur of violence-as-latent-homoeroticism. (George lucas voice): it’s like poetry, it rhymes.

I'm too shy to tag others but mutuals I Am Pressuring U lovingly. U don’t have to write as much as i did tho lol.

#abs blabs #made this more reviewy in the name of being interesting #i think the better question is 'worst movies you've seen' but ig that could have less variety person to person #also i specify lead guys because quess IS a cca protag

[birdieofprey]

fabula:: Birdie Templeton

Name: Bridget “Birdie” Templeton Occupation: N/A Age: 27 (turned at 20) Sexuality: Lesbian Species: Vampire Clan: Kanemaru Hometown: Santa Barbara, California Relationship Status: Single Personality Traits Birdie was, at one point, a fairly well adjusted person. Maybe gloomy, maybe a little spoiled (maybe a lot spoiled), but whatever Bridget Templeton used to be, the walking scar tissue that’s grown back in its place in the wake of her violent introduction to the supernatural world is best described in the same terms one might use to explain the habits of an abused animal. She is slow to trust and skeptic of others, and keeps most people at an arm’s length, afraid of growing attachments that she’s ever fearful might lead her into a false sense of security or leave her open to betrayal. If one manages to cut through the calloused leather of her exterior, they’ll find a half-dead artist whose love for creation has been replaced with a hunger for destruction. She hates what she’s become, been made into, what she is. Who used to be a spoiled rich girl who’s biggest problem was finding work after college is now a violent, ruthless hunter of her own kind. Biography When Bridget Templeton was twelve years old she was still afraid of monsters in the dark. She knew it was irrational, that monsters weren’t real, and yet at night, while she laid in bed, she could swear that she could see them. In her closet - outside her window. She’d always been a scared, easily frightened little thing, and it was that flighty, anxious nature that earned her the nickname Birdie from her father - gentle as a jaybird and twice as jumpy.

It was these fears she transformed into art; drawing the eyes of her teachers and peers; she won awards and contests and ribbons. She tried sports but they never really stuck. Birdie Templeton was, for all intents and purposes, a well adjusted if slightly awkward girl, fumbling her way through high school life and slowly dreaming of a future for herself where she could live in a small cottage up in wine country, painting something more idyllic than her own night terrors. She exits high school and enters college at UC Santa Barbara, well off enough that she’ll only be in debt until she’s 60. She finds a boyfriend at UC, then realizes she hates him. She finds a girlfriend at UC too, and she realizes just how much the adventure of it wound up explaining about herself. She’s going to tell her parents at Christmas time, and hopefully introduce them to Alex when the new year rolls around. But Christmas never really comes. Christmas Eve does, and she’s ready for a sleepover at her parents’ home in her old bedroom that still has her artsy band posters and and a solitary landscape she painted in the 10th grade that she’s been obsessed with redoing again and again. But then there’s a knock on the door, a mention of car trouble, and then there’s a night of bloodletting and torture so brutal and foul and visceral that her mind spends the next seven years reliving it in white-hot flashes of agony. She watches them kill her father first, and then her mother. Neither death is painless, and neither is over quickly. She spends a few hours unable to speak, sitting next to the pallid husks of her parents, and then, while the night still has a few dark hours in it, they haul her off with them. She doesn’t know why she does it, hauling them around in a moving truck like they didn’t murder her family. Like she doesn’t want to scream. Like she’s their fucking band roadie. At night they come out, have their fun with her. They get her brain soft, make her do and say things that pry cold, vile laughs out of their fanged mouths. One of them drills inky art into her skin, some look like brands seals and some of it would even be gorgeous if it weren’t for the horror of her voicelessness in the matter. Time doesn’t stop turning but she stops paying attention to it. They move from place to place, and when they aren’t killing off random unfortunates, they’re drinking out of her neck. A few months later they stop off in a nearby town, find a house out on the outskirts. This time they get her to join in on the fun and she doesn’t know why she can’t say no. She goes along with it until they tell her to cut one open, thinking that maybe if she stops doing what they tell her to, they’ll kill her. But instead they rip open a wrist and feed her on their blood for a change before everything goes black.  Seven years on from the night she went from prey to predator. Six years and change from the night she decided she wanted to kill everything like her that she laid her eyes on. It’s been five since she killed three of the vampires that stole her life. The last one, her sire, is somewhere here. She can feel their presence in her bones as she crosses by a green highway sign introducing Port Leiry. Birdie’s here on a hunch; the last time she ran into her sire, they made off quick, but in their haste they left a mess. A matchbook for a club called Soleil leads her to Port Leiry, a monster who hunts monsters, thirsty for more than blood. ===

Wanted Plots - The Sire:A Kanemaru vampire with a sadist’s bent. Has designs on building their own clan, and aims for quantity, not quality when it comes to enforcers. Has had several run-ins with Birdie since her turning and escape.

The Ally: A Hunter with whom Birdie enjoys a relatively volatile relationship. Maybe not mutually trusting, but they share a common goal - eradicating vampires - that makes the frustration of dealing with each-other worth the aggravation.

#cor.intro #tw death #tw murder #tw blood #tw; assault

[trboyrants]

jacob grimes

BASICS

Name: Jacob Charles Grimes

Nickname: Jake, Jako, Jakoby, JC

Gender: male

Age (as of 2024): 29

Birthday: November 15th, 1995

Birth Stone: topaz/citrine

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Sexual Orientation: straight

ROMANCE

Ideal partner? Someone who can put up with his stressful job and crazy family and that will stick by him no matter what. Being able to deal with him being clingy is a good bonus too

What was their first kiss like? Honestly, he hates it because he found out later that day that she just kissed him to try and get closer to his brother

CHILDHOOD

Life Story: He grew up in an Atlanta suburb, very much white picket family where they were all close and overall a mostly happy family

Did he have an imaginary friend growing up? No

Nurtured or neglected growing up? Very nurtured

Closest family member? His mom or his brother

Financial situation growing up? They weren’t rich by any means, but they lived a comfy life

PERSONAL

Do they ramble or are they to the point? He’s pretty to the point, he’s learned to be because of his job

Does he have any addictions? No, he used to smoke but he quit once he finished college

What’s his biggest secret? That he regrets picking up some of his cases, and winning them

What is he obsessed with? You

Does he have any pet peeves? Dirty socks on the floor

Does he have any superstitions? He always gets coffee from the same shop every day he has to go to court

What’s his favorite swear word? Fuck

One word they would use to describe themselves? Determined

Sense of humor? Flirty

What’s his soft spot? You, his family, and his dog

Favorite person? You

Do they rent or own? He owns, he used his first big bonus from winning a case as a downpayment

Do they live in an urban area or rural? Urban, he lives about 30 minutes from Atlanta

What’s their dream home? A big house with a yard and plenty of space for a family

How long can they hold a grudge? Depends on what happened and why he’s grudging

APPEARANCE

Eye Color(s): Ocean blue

Hair Color: Dark honey brown

Hair Style(s): Longer and slightly curly, usually has a mind of its own

Height: 6’4

PERSONALITY

Personality traits: Funny, charming, charismatic, smart, witty, loving, family oriented

Good Habit(s): He’s a very clean person overall, he doesn’t like things messy or dirty and keeps things organized

Bad habit(s): He doesn’t eat the best, he eats a lot of takeout and fast food

Like(s): Home cooked meals, hanging out with his family, relaxing, being outside to get fresh air

Dislike(s): Being inside all day, being away from the people that he loves, overly salty foods

Hobbies: He likes to go on walks with his dog, he’s not a workout nut but he does do it a few days a week to relax and get a change of pace from sitting at a desk most of the day. He likes to read, has tried drawing but doesn’t do it very often because he isn’t confident in it

Allergies: Cats

Fear(s): Spiders, losing his family

Fun Facts? When he first moved into his house, he called Rick because he found a massive spiderweb with a big spider in it and he couldn’t bring himself to take care of it

WORK

Ambition/dream: To open his own law firm

Occupation/Job: A criminal defense lawyer

RELATIONSHIPS

Parent(s): Richard (Dick) Grimes, Cindy Grimes

Sibling(s): Richard (Rick) Grimes, 35 (brother)

Relative(s): Lori Grimes (sister in law,) Judith Grimes (niece,) Carl Grimes (nephew)

Pet(s): Bubba (Australian Shepherd/Corgi mix)

EXTRA

Scent: Books, whiskey

Outfit(s): Because of his job he’s usually in smart pants, a dress shirt, and a button down but when he’s not working he’s in jeans and band tees

Scars: He has one on his cheek from hitting himself in the face with a cupboard door as a kid

Tattoo(s): He has one on his shoulder of a fisherman in a boat for his grandfather, and he has one on his bicep of a snake with a sword because he thought it looked cool when he was 19

Jewelry: He wears a few rings and has a chain

FAVORITES

Favorite Song: Work Song - Hozier

Favorite Food(s): Chicken parmesan

Favorite Drink(s): An iced caramel macchiato

Favorite Color(s): Blue

Favorite Animal(s): A walrus

Favorite Number: 17 (his old baseball number)

Favorite Season(s): Fall

Favorite Holiday(s): Thanksgiving

Favorite Time of Day: Evening

[intrepidradish]

Media: Predators

Year/my age: 2020-2022/30-32

What drew me to the media:

My friend Iterations dragged me in kicking and screaming. This is such a strange fandom for me. I don't even know how to approach talking about it.

At some point, via the Ao3 comment sections of my stories, Iterations suggested the Farscape fandom didn't appreciate me enough and that I should bring my weird queer stories to Predators instead, which at the time, had absolutely zero lgbtq representation.

I was in the midst of lockdown, alone in a house alone in a city I recently relocated to with family in different states. I was very alone, but there was a discord group. I did have gdocs and a big imagination. Iterations was great to talk to. The discord... was really hard on me, and I've only recently left, much to my relief.

What made me a fan:

Nothing did. To this day, I am not a fanatic about predators. I get the appeal of giant, ripped aliens that are stoics for the monster love genre, but the world building is missing for me to really engage with them for writing. But as someone that has only watched the films, the world for yautja isn't something I care to explore further.

And that isn't to say that people in the Predator fandom aren't doing a bang up job exploring it! I still edit work for the fandom, Skadi's Starchild, and he's taking the world in a lot of fun places in his works. Alpha produces in world essays about Aliens and Predators. Others too! If you like monster fucking, it's a rich fandom! People do fun things with Predators. I could probably do more myself (I have ideas) but I'm not going to explore them as fanfiction.

Have I written fanfiction for it? Why or why not?

Yes! I started with Belladonna because there was not a single wlw story in the entire ao3 tag. It's a great story! It's really sexy! I wrote it because I was told women yautja wouldn't enjoy sex outside of mating, and it made me see red. Even if you don't care about Predators you should read this story because it's fast and awesome!

Romp Reversal is probably the most insane story I've published to date about body swapping a little twink cloaca-haver with a yautja. The twink body with the yautja brain gets shipped off to be sexed trained for an enormous spider and the yautja body with a sex-obsessed idiot cutey gets in trouble in other ways. >_>

Yautja PI is very plot heavy and was written by Iterations and me. We took different chapters. It's the first sad ending I've written. It was such a fun challenge working with someone else on a story. I recommend trying to any writer. It will stretch your muscles.

Fox Hunt I wrote over October in 2020, and then hated it! Iterations read it and said it wasn't as bad as I thought, so I reread it again. It is really good. It has this strange victorian racism pov where a bunch of british lords think a predator is a zulu warrior. It's actually more shitty to british people (imo), but they deserve it LOLS. Surprisingly, this story is very popular. It is doing well on wattpad somehow (I don't understand wattpad). I think because it's mlm, it's british, and the sex is hot.

I wrote a trilogy to fix the Predator 2018, which had that makings of a good movie but really fucking wiffle-balled it. I rewrote it. New Procedure is mostly focused on Casey/Fugitive and is surgical kink. It's the most popular probably! Then I went into this huge tangent about defeating the Ultimate predator for a bit, which was difficult for me to finish writing because I was mentally excusing myself from the fandom. Then the conclusion one shot, New Theory, which has some fun sex, but is definitely me tired.

Opinion on the fandom:

I didn't have a very good time with the fandom. We got in lots of fights. I got pigeon holed for something I don't write because I defended people's freedom to write it. There was a lot of bullying, and if I engaged to protect people from bullying, I was not only attacked by the people being bullied but also draw people's attention. It sucked. I'm glad I'm out of it. I find it mildly amusing that most of the people in that discord no longer writes Predator fanfiction. Gatekeeping strangles your own creativity too.

That being said, it's a huge fandom. My works get a lot of attention. People will stick around for very long stories if the payoffs are right.

I'm also really proud of what I produced while in the fandom! I wrote some good stuff during a very difficult time. God the trauma of the pandemic lives long.

Would I read it again?

There are a few stories I'm subscribed to that I'll keep reading. If my friends write anything I'll probably read it!

#my personal take

[littlepaperboatyo]

Izzy Hands is Not a good fighter.

I've been writing a paper on Izzy's codependency in my own time that will never see the light of day on account of it would be far too boring to anyone but me, but in doing so I have realised just how bad Izzy is at fighting and why people think he's good at it.

I'm not saying he's not skilled in swordsmanship btw, I think he has good form and is well practiced. I'm also not saying that he fucks it up all the time and fails to win his battles. I am very specifically saying he's a Bad Fighter. Because he really is! If he were a good fighter he wouldn't have lost to Stede. That wasn't a matter of Stede getting lucky or a rich man simply winning by being rich or the plot preaching the lesson it wants to preach. Stede would beat Izzy again and again given the chance. Why? Well...

Izzy Hands is an incredibly codependent character. That's a word I feel gets thrown around as though context clues define it when they don't, so I'm going to actually define it here.

A codependent person is so obsessed with controlling someone or something outside themselves that they lose control of themselves.

Izzy is super obsessed with controlling others, and not all that about controlling himself. He's particularly obsessed with controlling Ed, which is his side of why their relationship is so incredibly toxic. But we're not worrying about that now, we want to understand how he fights.

Codependency creates several more defining qualities in a person, one of which being that codependent people are highly reactive. If you're obsessed with controlling others then you become constantly vigilant of their actions. When you react to them you are no longer acting for yourself; the speed with which you're moving leaves no time to think about what your next move should be. Izzy actually understands this well, and prays on it when he fights. He's skilled enough that he can best another pirate who's also reactive. He just can't do shit to Stede on account of Stede being a pretty exceptionally nonreactive person.

Izzy starts the duel moving rapidly into form hoping to throw Stede off his rhythm. He's showing off his skill in hopes of making Stede nervous. Stede does falter when he loses his sword, and finds himself prone on the deck with things looking grim. He's not really reacting to this situation the way most pirates would though. He looks around, sees a creative solution, and pocket sands throws gunpowder at Izzy. This is where things get fun, because now Izzy is off his rhythm. He gets mad here and panics a bit. As much as Olu may have been dissapointed, Stede slapping Izzy's ass with his dick sword works to his advantage here, because again Stede is not acting how Izzy would expect. Izzy is worked up at this point. Even winning will leave him humiliated. He's mad. He clears his eyes and he's determined to finish this, tries to back Stede into a corner and continues pushing his regular fighting style. He's mad he's mad he's so ready to be done with this horrible strange little man he can't control. So ready, so certain of himself that he doesn't take a moment to consider why Stede might be offering a draw. He assumes he knows despite Stede defying his assumptions at every turn. He goes for the kill. And he's wrong.

Of course he's wrong.

Stede won out in their first interaction too. It's not so much that an ambush is "completely unprofessional" as it is that Izzy couldn't think up a way to get out of it. He sat there with a knife to his face and time to think and just couldn't really manage. He was surprised, and he got flustered, and he lost.

Izzy may know all the cool moves and be real good at waving his blade around, but he's too dependent on the other fighter's emotional state to actually be a good fighter.

Codependents tend to come from backgrounds of instability. Abusive childhoods and careers in crisis fields both, any environment that continually requires more than a person can give. I think it's fair to argue that codependency might be common among pirates. I also think it's fair to argue that Izzy looks to be a better fighter than he is because his average opponent is some pirate who sleeps on the deck with too little to eat who might very well be codependent themself. It's not that he's exceptional, it's that his enemies aren't.

Izzy Hands is Not a good fighter.

#ofmd #meta #ofmd meta #Izzy Hands #I've been working on that longer analysis for so long and I went back and read it today and just went 'oh' #'I would not have the patience to read this if it came across my dash' #so here's the section that was actually fun #and the rest may or may not go to scrap which is fine #it helped me figure shit out to write it and that's really what it was for anyway #Yall know that one post that's like #'this guys so fucked up i'm gonna observe him under a microscope'? #well I actually did that enough it helped with therapy so that's fun #anyway i can't stand Izzy Hands and I love analyzing him #it's a curse

[mayraki]

✧ the hotel room - bucky barnes

-> violadvis’ gif

summary: after an awful night with your family the only thing you want to feel is bucky’s body against yours.

masterlist

check out my bucky barnes x oc series let’s play fire with fire

warnings: family members being mean. fights between reader and family. oral (f. receiving), cowgirl, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy). if there’s anything else, please, let me know. +18!!

“Did you order the pizza, baby?” You asked the second you walked into the living room. Bucky was sitting on the couch while his fingers were moving around the TV controller, touching every single button to get the movie going. You smiled at his confused face as you sat down next to him, waiting for his answer.

“I can handle a phone or putting a channel on, but a movie?” He said still with his eyes glued to the TV and all the options it was showing as his fingers were pressing more buttons. “I can’t seem to understand it.”

You let out a tiny laugh before taking the controller from his hand to press the button that said ‘back’ and then, when the movie list came back to the screen, you clicked another button to soon see the movie slowly loading to start. “There.”

“You just did that with two buttons, two!” He rested his back on the back of the couch frustrated. “I’ve been sitting here for like fifteen minutes. And yes, I order the pizza. It should come any minute now.”

You let out a tiny smile as your head went towards his chest to rest on it. “To be fair, I haven’t teached you yet how to put a movie on, so is alright if you can’t. It’s hard for you, Buck.”

“I just wanted everything to be ready for you, doll.” He said softly while his cold metal arm was now around your shoulder and his fingers were caressing your cheek, making you feel the coldness of them in your skin.

You locked eyes with him to get closer and leave a little kiss on his lips. Feeling his warm lips you let out a tiny smile enjoying the feeling of it against yours. He grabbed your cheek with his right hand to pull you even closer to him, even if there was no place left. “I think we have a couple of minutes left before the pizza gets here, doll.” Bucky said softly against your lips.

As his eyes were glued to yours, you could noticed the desire in them. You couldn’t blame him, since yours had the same thing in them. “Really?” You asked as a grin escaped your lips. “And what to do think we should do in those minutes we have?”

Without giving you an answer, he let out a smile and quickly, with his strong metal arm, managed to grab your waist and pulled you up to gently place you on his lap, while your two legs ended between his waist. Soon grabbing his cheeks with your hands, you pulled him in for another simple yet hot kiss. You could feel his hands on your waist grabbing them with strength, but then they quickly moved towards your back to touch the skin under your shirt. So, with slow moves you felt how his fingers started to trace your lower back while pulling your shirt up.

While the hotness in your body was growing and the kiss between you and Bucky was getting quicker, without giving him the chance to do something else you started to move your hips slowly against his pants. His hand quickly stopped to break the kiss and look at you with lust in his eyes. “Fuck, doll.” He said almost in a whisper gaining a smile from your lips. But the moment you were about to unite your lips with his once again, the doorbell rang, making you let out a sigh as your head rested on his shoulder.

“I guess it was less than a couple of minutes.” He said the moment you moved from his lap and ended right by his side. He got up while letting the biggest sigh and then walked towards the door as your eyes were following him, admiring every little detail of his body. “Thank you so much, have a good one.” He said with a little smile after giving the delivery guy the money and some tips. Instead of closing the door once the guy was gone, he looked down and stayed put for a second before kneeling down to grab something off the floor. Curious, you lifted your body over the back of the couch to have more sight on him and the floor, so noticing a couple of papers on his hand, you furrowed your eyebrows confused.

“What is that?”

He turned around and closed the door behind him. “I don’t know.” He said confused as he was walking towards the tiny table in front of the couch to leave the pizza on top of it. “Is like some sort of invitation.”

“What? Let me see.” The moment he sat down he handed you the paper. Quickly grabbing it you read the first word on top of the paper thinking that it was some sort of mistake, but as soon as your eyes were finished with that tiny title, your heart sinked to your stomach. “Oh my fucking God.”

“What?” Bucky asked going back to you since he was opening the box of pizza while you were reading. “What is it?”

You closed your eyes letting out a long sigh not wanting to read what was left on the paper. But the moment you felt the invitation leaving your hand, you opened them again.

“The future Mr. and Mrs.” Bucky started reading. “Join us for an engagement party honoring. George and Kimberly.” As soon as he finished he turned to you with his eyebrow furrowed, confused like the first time he saw it. “Do you know these people?”

You slowly nodded tilting your head to the left while your eyes were slowly wondering around the invitation. “George. That’s my little brother.” You pointed at his name in the paper which made Bucky turn to it once again, but then soon went back to you.

“Your brother is engaged?”

“Apparently. I didn’t even know he was with someone.” You shook your head. “But I think me going is not an option. So you can throw it away.” You got closer to the pizza and grabbed a piece. Ready to grab the controller to play the movie, you took your free hand towards it but when you noticed Bucky still reading the invitation, you looked at him. “What?”

“Why aren’t you going?” He asked locking eyes with you. “I mean, I know the story you have with your parents and all, but he’s your brother.”

“I’ll call him later and celebrate it with him and his fiancé alone, I’m not putting up with my parents and my stupid family. Buck, I’m not discussing this, so, c’mon, let’s play the movie.”

After you grabbed the controller and started the movie, Bucky let out a low ‘alright’ and proceeded to grab a piece of pizza to enjoy the movie with you.

After that day, you definitely forgot about the invitation and the party. You moved on by living your life like you did years ago. With your work, your tiny apartment, new friends, and then soon, with your boyfriend Bucky Barnes. Your mind was busy to even give it a tiny second of thought, either way, you already made a decision. You weren’t going.

But even though you tried, the moment that you saw the invitation once again on the tiny table in front of the couch the next night, you stared it for too long as the memories were slowly going back to your mind.

The tears, the screams, the loud fights, the fake relationship to please people. You remembered those days to be the worst years of your life. You being pressured to be someone else just to be the rich happy family your mother always wanted it to be. Your dad with his incredible obsession with his work, that at some point you didn’t even see him for weeks. And then, when he was home, he was either drinking or watching a football game, not even giving five seconds of a attention to the five year old little kid trying to show him a drawing that they made. Then, it came your older brother. He was a nightmare. People always talk about having a older brother as something so fun and memorable, but not with yours. Nothing about him you wanted to remember. Making your childhood a living nightmare, calling you names, breaking your toys, insulting you as you two were growing up but then pretending to be the innocent little boy for mommy when she walked by. He was the spoiled brat you tried to escape since you started to think for yourself.

The only one that managed to make your days better was your little brother, George, the only one you remain with a little relationship the moment you left the house. He was the one more similar to you. Not wanting to be fake just to please the rich families around you, liking to just be chill and watch movies instead of going to fancy parties like your mother insisted. He was your best friend growing up. Even if he was like your twin, he had at least something that went with the family, he liked to work with your dad. That was the only thing that made him survive all those years back in the house. But you didn’t have anything. It broke your heart to leave him when you did, but it had to be done for you to be better and enjoy your life.

So, when you got the chance to leave them, you did. As soon as you turned 18, you grabbed every little saving you had from your job and rented the tiniest apartment you could afford. And from then, you built a family and a life of your own, trying to leave every ugly memory you had from them on the past.

You weren’t going.

You repeated as you sat down on the couch to rest and feel your body relax as it was trying to release everything bad from the day. But when you closed your eyes, the sensation of your phone vibrating in your back pocket made you opened them again. Knowing that it was almost dinner time and Bucky always called you around that time, without reading the name in your screen you answered the call to later bring the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” You said with a smile.

“Hi big sis.” You heard the voice of your little brother on the other side of the phone making you sit up straight as a surprised smile came out of your lips. “Nice to hear you again.”

“Georgie. What- what are you doing calling me?”

“I wanted to say hi, you know, since you’re my big sister and all.” Hearing his voice filled your chest with happiness as the memories of him and you playing around appeared on your mind. You two were just kids... but not anymore.

“You sound like a man, G.” You heard a little laugh coming from him.

“Yeah, well, it got deeper. Hey, I wanted to ask you something. Did you got the invitation for-?”

“Yeah, I did.” You nodded. “Why didn’t you told me you were seeing someone?”

“Y/n, I can ask you the same thing.”

You let out a tiny laugh. “Touché.”

“So...” You could notice the hesitation on his voice. He wanted to ask you something and was looking for the courage to do it. Deep down you knew what it was, but still waited for him to ask it. “Are you coming?”

You let out a tiny sigh and closed your eyes feeling your stomach turn. You hated feeling like that, like you would disappoint your little brother. But you didn’t want to go. “I’m sorry, Georgie. It’s just-”

“You don’t want to see mom, dad or the rest of the family, I get it. I do, believe me.” The hurt on his voice made your heart shatter into pieces. “But- I would love to see you there, Y/n.”

“I know, I know. I suck. But what if I just take you two to a fancy dinner. Just the three of us a week after the party. My treat.”

You let out a tiny proud smile because of your idea, maybe that was going to fix everything, but the moment your heard a sigh coming from his mouth, the smile quickly disappeared. “I would love that, but we leave to Mexico a day after the party because half of her family lives there.”

“How about after?”

“We leave for a year.”

“A year?” You asked softly disappointed. You let your back rest on the back of the couch as you closed your eyes once again. The moment you were about to open your mouth, the front door opening cut you off. Bucky walk into the apartment holding bags of food and a little smile on his face.

You turned away from him as you heard your brother speak again. “Can you come, Y/n?” He asked with the same tone you did seconds ago. As soon as a little sigh came out of your mouth Bucky sat down by your side and left a gentle kiss on your cheek. But noticing the strange look on your face, soon furrowed his eyebrows and mouthed ‘who’s that?’ but you didn’t answered, you just stayed silent not knowing what to say next. “I would love for her to know my big sister, I know she would like you, a lot. And I know you would too.”

“I love you too much, you know that?” You said after letting out a long sigh.

“Is that a yes?” He asked excited. Noticing this, you let out a little smile and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m going.”

“Y/n! Oh my god, I’m gonna see you. This is amazing. I love you sis!” As soon as a laugh came out of your mouth Bucky took his right hand and placed it on your thigh to gently caress it. You did the same and took your hand towards his, resting it on top to wrap your fingers together. “Maybe you can bring that boyfriend of yours, too.”

“Oh,” you locked eyes with him with the intention to say that he wasn’t available, not wanting him to deal with your family, but instead you shrugged your shoulders and let out a softly: “Maybe.”

The moment you ended the call Bucky got closer to your face with a little smile still placed on his lips. He looked down to yours as you bit your lower lip, looking straight to the desire on his eyes. “Hi.” He let out almost on a whisper.

“Hi.”

He ended the space and united his lips with yours to feel that warm sensation against your skin. His hand now on your cheek made the kiss even deeper but before it could lead to something else, he broke the kiss and without moving further away from you, asked: “Alright, who is the person you love too much and where are you going?”

You let out a tiny laugh hearing his jealousy tone but with a little bit of joke in it. Grabbing his cheek to caress it with your thumb you looked down to his lips but quickly went back to his eyes, melting under his sight immediately. “My little brother, and I guess I’m going to the engagement party.”

“You are? I thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“I’m going because of my brother, that’s it.” He nodded before giving you another simple kiss on your lips before getting up to get the food he brought. As you were following his every move with your eyes, you bit your lower lip wondering if you should tell him about what George told you.

Inviting Bucky to the party meant him finally meeting your entire family. Meeting the people that once made you feel miserable and have the worst years of your life. Who knows what could happen? Maybe nothing, maybe a lot. But you did know one thing, if you were going to deal with your family the entire night you definitely needed Bucky by your side.

>>>

“This sucks.” You said letting your head rest on the back of your sit by Bucky’s side as he was driving the car. You felt his hand touch your thigh which lead you to slightly tilt your head towards him.

“You looo beautiful tonigh, doll.” He said softly giving you a quick look. Inevitable, you let out a smile as your were biting your lower lip. The way this man made you feel was incredible, making you feel the best of things even on the worst moments. “It’s gonna go fast, I promise.”

“I hope so.” As soon as you said those words the giant hotel building covered in bright lights appeared in front of you. Fancy people walking up the big and long stair while smiles where plastered on their faces. Some women even had white gloves on their hands, the men were wearing expensive suits, that made you smell the old and extra fancy perfume from your car.

Bucky handed the keys to the man working as the valet and then quickly walked closer to you while you were getting out of the car. The dark green dress you were wearing quickly fall towards your knees the moment your feet touched the ground. It started to move along the wind as well as your hair making you feel a little bit chilly, but the moment Bucky touched your waist to start walking and you felt his body next to yours, it all immediately started to fade away.

As you were slowly walking the steps up to the front door you could feel your heart beating faster. Even if you didn’t want to feel nervous to not make the night worst, seeing all those people being fancy like you remembered when you were a kid made you bring all those awful memories back. You let out a long breath the second you noticed you were next to step into the building.

Unintentionally, as you were waiting you looked inside the hotel to check if anyone you recognised was in your sight. But luckily, nobody that you knew was there. Just old rich people talking and having drinks in the reception.

“I didn’t know your family was this rich.” Bucky said softly by your side while his eyes were wondering around the big hotel. You nodded but before you could let anything out it was your time to say your name to enter the party.

“Y/n Y/l/n.” You said with a little smile to the man with a suit standing outside the front door and it didn’t took him long to find your name and nodding with a smile. Seeing him move to the side you started walking towards the inside, but not before receiving a key from the man you talked to seconds earlier. “A key?” You asked confused the moment it touched your hand but it was too late to ask since he had already moved on to the next in line.

As yours and Bucky’s eyes were wondering around the room, you slightly opened your mouth surprised at what they were seeing. It was as fancy and expensive as those parties you attended with your family when you were young. But your surroundings didn’t seem to matter to you, all you could think about was you reuniting with your family. It made your heart beat faster as your fingers couldn’t stop playing around with themselves. Turning around your rings, pulling them on and off leaving heavy breaths as your eyes were still following the people around you.

Noticing this, Bucky grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, making you turn around to face him and unite his lips with yours. As soon as you felt his warmth against you the speed of you heart started to slow down as well as the air coming in and out of your nose. You let out a tiny smile the moment he took his right hand and placed it against your cheek to slowly caress it with his thumb. “Ready to go in?” He asked softly and you nodded, after letting out a tiny sigh and realising this was it.

“Y/n!” You heard a male voice calling your name but as soon as you turned around a couple of arms wrapped your body with them, making you soon recognise your little brother.

“Gergie.” You said softly letting your chin rest on his shoulder. “You know how to throw a party, baby brother.”

“Oh, c’mon.” He said once he broke the hug. “You know it wasn’t me who did all of this.” You nodded but then quickly turn to Bucky who was standing by your side with a little smile. As you were getting ready to present him, George spoke before you. “And this is the boyfriend, am I right?” George took his hand to shake Bucky’s while he just nodded with a smile.

“James Barnes, you can call me Bucky.”

“Bucky, alright.” George did a quick look to you as a grin came out of his lips but before he could let out a word a girl called his name. “Oh, that’s Kimberly. She needs me. Y/n, I’ll introduce you two later so don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t.” You said with a smile, even if the first thing you wanted to do was ran as fast as you could from that party.

>>>

Since the moment you sat down on your table next to Bucky and some old random people, the only thing that you did was eat and have a laugh with Bucky. He knew that you were ready to have an awful night, he knew your story and how bad it was, so he made the mental note to make it a good night for you. Kissing you, making you laugh, remembering embarrassing moments or just stupid things you two did together. At one point it felt like you two were just in a bar having a normal date together.

Even if that helped, you still felt the looks of the people around you on him and you. People that you used to know as a kid or just because you had a similar face as your family, making them wonder who you were.

Soon later, George went looking for you with the intention to introduce you to his future wife. Even if you expected her to be the rich woman your mother would want his son to marry, she was the opposite of that. She was one of the sweetest girls ever, with her beautiful smile that would light the room and with her funny personality she did made you laugh a couple of times since you started talking to her. George was happy, you did noticed that. He was excited and proud the moment you fell into a conversation with Kimberly about a movie you two liked, seeing his sister and his fiancé like each other was all he wanted and it made him fall into a more deep whole of happiness. And that, was all that mattered to you. After spending 20 minutes talking to each other, Kimberly was needed to be somewhere else and, after saying goodbye with a smile, left you and George alone.

“She’s sweet, G.” You said the moment you noticed your little brother waiting for your reaction. “You better now fuck it up.”

He let out a tiny laugh before shaking his head. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” He did a quick look towards your table to see Bucky having a nice conversation with the old lady by his side. “You better don’t fuck that up, either.”

“Uh, uh,” you shook your head “I’m the big sister here, I say what you do and don’t.” You said jokingly gaining a laugh coming out his mouth. “I haven’t seen... mom. Or dad, yet.”

“They’re around.” George said with his eyes wondering around the room but once he came back to you, he let out a tiny smile.

“I know they’re around, but thanks to you and your fiancé for inviting like a thousand people so is not as easy and I thought it would be.” You said leading George to let out a tiny laugh as he was shaking his head.

“You’ve met Kim so you can go if you want, seeing you happy and hanging out with my girl is what I wanted for tonight. But, if you want to stay, the key they gave you on the entrance is for your room. You can use it when the party is over if you stay until late.”

You nodded. “Damn. You did take this party seriously.”

“It was Kim, her idea.” You nodded already knowing the answer. Soon your laugh joined George’s as he was getting closer to hug your body tightly. But just like before, he was needed somewhere else.

“I think Mrs. Harrison is flirting with your boyfriend.” He said before letting out a big a smile and turning around leaving you confused. But once you turned around to see your boyfriend and noticed the old lady he was talking to earlier was now closer and was trying to touch his strong metal arm.

Biting your lower lip trying to not let out laugh you started to walk towards them as you eyes were glued to Bucky trying to be as friendly as possible to the old lady flirting with him.

“Going somewhere, little sis?” You heard a voice behind you making you stop quickly.

“Michael.” You said annoyed before turning around to lock eyes with the tall man in front of you.

“Nice to see you, Y/n.” He said with an arrogant smile as his hand was holding a glass of champagne.

“I would say the same, Michael...” you said with a smile “but that would be a lie.”

“Mom and dad know you’re here.” He said ignoring your comment completely. “You know?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Good for them.”

The arrogant smile still on his face made you feel disgusted. He was standing like he was the best thing on the world and wanted to show it. But the only thing he had was dad’s money, nothing more. “You’re stupid for leaving all of this, Y/n.”

“I’m happy, Michael, believe it or not some people just don’t need millions to be happy.”

“You? Happy? With that-” he pointed behind you towards Bucky “man? He looks like a man that you just picked from the street and took him here. C’mon, y/n, you can’t be serious.”

You let out a tiny fake laugh and walked closer to him to make it very clear for him: “You’re just a little bitch, Michael. And if you’re just insecure about your love life because you could never make a girl happy like ‘that man’ does, just say that.” Even if he tried his hardest to now show that your words hit him, you definitely knew and let out a tiny smile before turning around to walk towards your table, but before you could, Bucky was already behind you.

“Is everything alright?” He asked softly with his eyes glued to Michael behind you. Nodding, you grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the dance floor where some people started dancing as soon as the music became louder.

Wanting to feel Bucky’s body against yours, you pulled him closer as soon as you where surrounded by people dancing. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he grabbed your waist and moved your hips along the music. You smiled to yourself since you noticed the little dance lessons you used to gave him for modern music paid off since his hands were moving your body like a professional.

Grabbing your hand to turn you around, he wrapped his fingers with yours and spin you around to finally grab your cheek and unite his lips with yours in a simple kiss. Playing with your lips he moved them around making the kiss even more deeper while your bodies were feeling the music. He grabbed your waist with his two hands as a little laugh escaped your lips the moment you broke the kiss. Everything bad you felt moments ago was gone, and your chest was nothing but filled with electricity and warmth.

After that song came another one and another one, making you and Bucky dance for at least five songs without a break. But as soon as you felt your throat getting dry you pointed towards the table and Bucky nodded without taking his hand of your waist ready to lead you to the drinks.

“I’ll get you something.” He said loudly enough against your ear before giving it a little kiss and with a smile, leaving you behind.

As your eyes were following him back away, you gently bit your lower lip enjoying your sight. His arm on that shirt looked extremely good so you found yourself not blaming the old lady wanting to touch them before. His back was wide and it was fit, it could be seen through the shirt. Your eyes slowly went to his hand making you remember all those times he picked you up to lead you the bed and do all those things you loved so much.

He was all yours. And that single thought, made your insides go wild.

“You seem happy, dear.” As soon as you heard those words and that voice your breathing unintentionally cut short and your heart sinked to your stomach. Not wanting to turn around you closed your eyes hoping that it was just your imagination playing games with you, but that voice spoke again. “Y/n, I’m talking to you.”

“Mom.” You said the moment you turned around to lock eyes with those dark eyes. She had a little smile on her red lips while her hand was holding a glass of whiskey. That old dress made her waist look thinner and her legs to seem longer. Like she always liked.

“It was nice seeing you dance with that man, you know, like you do in the night club.” You immediately took the word ‘nice’ as sarcasm for the way she said it, making you let out a tiny fake smile trying to eat every bad word your brain wanted you to scream. “But he looks like a good man, Y/n.” You furrowed your eyebrows confused at her nice words, but then when she opened her mouth once again, you went back to normal. “Never thought you were going to end up with someone like him, to be honest. Always thought you were gonna end up running away with someone covered in tattoos and with no future whatsoever.”

“Someone who’s covered in tattoos doesn’t mean that they don’t have a future, mom.”

“Ah, there it is.” She said nodding. “You, never agreeing with me.” You rolled your eyes getting up from the table to leave her behind not wanting to face her, but then her voice stopped you. “You got a job, Y/n?”

“Yes I do, mother.”

“A good one? Do they pay you good?”

“Yes-”

“And your place, is it big?”

“Big enough for one.”

“Oh,” she said quickly to then soften her tone “so you don’t live with this man.”

“No- what is this? Some sort of interrogation?” You asked loudly gaining a couple of eyes on you. Noticing this, your mom looked around angry at the way you behaved that walked closer to you and grabbed your arm to pull you aside. “Mom, what are you doing?!”

“Lower our voice, would you?!” She asked in a loud whisper while looking around and letting out fake smiles to the people around you two to let them know everything was alright.

“Oh, so that’s why.” You said while looking at her and a loud laugh came out of your lips. “You still don’t want to break that perfect family fake shit you built when I was a kid, got it.”

“Watch your language!” She quickly turned to you and pointed her index fingers in your face. “You broke our family the moment you ran away. The only one to blame here is you.”

“Me? I broke it? What about you wanting me and my little brother to be something we’re not? You literally built something fake! All because you wanted to be the perfect family and make everyone envy you! You didn’t give a shit if any of us were hurting.” As you felt the anger and pain grow inside your body, not wanting to make a scene and ruin the party for your brother you closed your eyes to let a big breath out.

“You could never understand what I did for you when you were growing up, the way you treat me-! Disgusting!” She said in a loud whisper. “You’re so ungrateful. I gave you everything you wanted and now-”

“Everything I wanted? Back then the only thing I wanted was for you to be there for me. But the only thing you cared about was you and your perfect little family. But I didn’t give a shit so you started to treat me like you didn’t care at all-”

“Please! I did care.”

“Throwing money at my face wasn’t going to make me do all the things you wanted. I’m not Micheal.” You felt your throat hurting but at that point, you couldn’t stop. “I just wanted for you to be my mother, to care, to caress my hair and tell me everything was gonna be alright. But you didn’t.” You got closer to her face and felt the air coming out of your mouth mixing with hers. You could noticed the anger in her eyes but just like she always did, she would bottle them up and save them, showing nothing but fake happiness and wealth. “You treated me like I was just trash. And, oh boy, I know how much you don’t like trash.” Since there was no words coming out of her mouth you knew that you were hitting the part that annoyed her the most. Not being able to control you and having you in the palm of her hand. “Remember what you said to me? The moment that I left the house? You screamed at me: When you fail don’t you ever come back because this door won’t be open for you.” You felt a tear coming down your cheek as you were getting ready to say your last words. “See me now, mom? I didn’t fail. Are you disappointed?”

Slowly shaking your head you turn to the side looking for Bucky and once you noticed him waiting for your drink, you stepped aside ready to leave your mom behind, but once again, her voice stopped you. “He’s gonna leave you, you know?” She said softly yet intimidating. You stared at Bucky as the tight nod became even stronger in your chest. “A man like that won’t stay with a girl like you.”

Without hesitating, you turned around to face her and say with the same exact tone as her: “If he does, don’t wait for me to come home and run into your arms.”

As quickly as your feet allowed you, you turned around and made your way towards Bucky, who was now holding your drink with a little smile on his lips. But at soon as he noticed the sadness plastered all over your face and the little tear dripping down your cheek, his eyes were now covered in worry as he was getting closer and closer to you. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“Can we just get out of here?” You asked softly grabbing his arm and he quickly nodded by letting the drink aside and wrapping his fingers with you ready to walk out the door.

Now in the reception, as you were walking away from the party you noticed all the people making line while waiting their cars. Not wanting to wait, you stopped as an idea came to your head. Bucky gave you a strange look the moment you turned to the side and started to walk up the stairs towards the room. The moment you grabbed the key from the pocket of your dress and read the number ‘14’ to look at your designated room and get away from everyone else once and for all.

“What are we doing here, Y/n?” Bucky asked confused by your side but you didn’t respond as you were still focused on finding your room. The moment you arrived at some dark corner and saw the little ‘14’ in the door, you quickly opened the door with the key and walked inside the room dragging Bucky with you.

“Fucking finally.” You said sitting on the bed and covering your face with your hands annoyed. Ignoring how confused Bucky was, he got closer to you and sat by your side to gently caress your shoulder with his right hand. You uncovered you face the moment you felt his lips leaving a simple kiss on your cheek. Letting out a little smile you touched your forehead with his and let your breathing mix with his, enjoying the little hot breath of his against your skin.

“What happened, doll?” He asked softly.

“My family, that happened. She just- sucks.”

Taking your head towards his chest, you rested against it while his chin was resting on top of your head still with his fingers caressing the side of your shoulder. Letting out a breath to relax your chest you closed your eyes and felt the hot air coming out of your mouth. “We can stay here if you want.” Bucky said almost in a whisper after a couple of seconds in silence.

You looked up to wonder your eyes around the room. It was definitely fancy. Something that you weren’t used to. The moment your eyes stopped at the tiny fridge and you noticed the five different types of beer sitting in there you tiled your head and for the first time after a long time you let out a genuine little smile. “Yeah, we can stay here for tonight. I want to break my dad’s wallet.” Bucky confused followed your body as you got up and walked towards the fridge to take out two beers. You waved them gaining a little laugh from him, and that unintentionally, made the tight nod you had in your chest to slowly get undone.

>>>

“I can’t believe my dad rented an entire hotel to make an engagement party. I mean, look at this-” you said getting up from the bed to sit down on top of the dresser “I can use this as a seat!” Bucky let out a little laugh as his eyes were staring at you. Once you looked up at him, you felt a little tingle in your stomach making you bite your lower lip.

The way that he was laying on the bed with just a simple black shirt on and his pants, his hand under his head making his arm look even more strong than it already was. As soon as your eyes noticed the slight piece of stomach of his since his shirt was a little bit lift up, your mind started to go wild without a warning. Imagining your fingers against his stomach, tracing his abs up and down slowly while his hands were gently touching your thighs making you weak like he always did. Your legs between his waist feeling him under you, filling your bodies with lust and desire as the minutes were passing. And before you could think of something else, you started to feel your skin getting warmer.

“Come here.” You said almost in a whisper pointing with your head towards your body. Bucky let out a tiny smile before getting up from the bed and slowly walk to your body that was still sitting on top of the dresser. Opening your arms you instantly wrapped them around his neck the moment he arrived in front of you. Resting your head on his shoulder you started to feel his perfume entering your nose, and wanting to feel it even more deeper, you took your nose and gently pressed it against his neck. Noticing this, Bucky started to caress your thigh on top of the dress you were wearing after taking a little step closer to you body and feel the warmth your body was giving him.

The poor light surrounded the room didn’t let you have a good look at him even though he was close, but you knew since the moment you stared at those pink and thick lips you knew that you wanted them against yours. So, without waiting another second grabbing his cheek with your hand you pulled him closer and ended the space between you two.

Immediately feeling his soft lips against yours, you opened your legs wide to let his body between them and deepen the kiss even more. You wanted to feel the electricity running through your veins, so grabbing his other cheek with your other hand, you pulled him even closer against you to feel every single angle of his lips on yours. The kiss was happening in a slow speed but even if it was, you could feel the hotness of it.

The way his lips was playing with yours it looked like it was the first time you two had kiss, wanting to remember every single detail of the other so taking the time to experience and taste each other. But the moment you felt his tongue touching you, you opened your mouth even wider to let it twist with yours. His soft and quick tongue made its way to yours and started to control it up and down slowly, making your heart sink to your stomach as the butterflies were going wild inside of you.

Every time he moved his fingers against your thigh the more you wanted to feel them between your legs. You could feel it tingling under your dress and underwear, feeling the wetness starting slowly inside. Taking your right hand you grabbed the one that he had on your thigh to take it towards your underwear. Breaking the kiss, he slightly moved backwards with his eyes locked in with yours, seeing the little sparkle in them as you let out a tiny smile. “Fuck me, Bucky. I want you to fuck me right now.”

He let out a long breath making you feel the hot air hitting your face. There was nothing else that you wanted to experience more than him inside of you, fingers, his dick, anything of him would be enough. Maybe it was the anger that you had inside of you for fighting your mother that it was making you feel that way so quickly, or maybe those last words that she let out to you... you didn’t know. All you knew is that you wanted Bucky to press his body against yours and fuck you right on that moment.

Gently grabbing your cheek he pulled in to give you another kiss, but then quickly broke it to look you in the eyes and see the lust in them. You could feel the sweat starting to come out of your forehead as he slowly started to trace your underwear up and down. Letting out a little breath of enjoyment, you grabbed his arm to feel it move against you. “Fuck, Bucky.” You said in a whisper making you shiver and let your head rest on the wall behind you. Embracing every movement he was making you opened your legs wider and let out yet another long breath.

As your chest felt heavier you let go of his arm and placed them beside your body to lean your back backwards and not arche it in the wrong way in the process. His fingers were still slowly tracing your underwear up and down while his other hand was slowly caressing your thigh. But once you opened your eyes you felt his hand gently tracing your skin and stopped once it arrived in your waist. The coldness of it could be felt even if you had your dress still on, but according to Bucky and his hand, it wasn’t going to be in your body much longer.

“Lift your waist for me, doll.” He said softly making you feel shivers down your body. Without questioning it, you pushed your body upwards with your hands to let Bucky, with a quick move, take off your underwear and leave your dress up to your stomach, softly resting on your waist and dresser under you.

Without giving you a time to take a breath, Bucky took his fingers and quickly touched your folds to trace them up and down gently. His index finger was making tiny circles while it was going downwards towards your orifice. But once there, he didn’t sink it in like you expected, instead, he joined with his middle finger the message he was doing to your folds. Making you want for more, he didn’t speed it either. “Bucky-” you whispered almost begging for him to touch you more deeper. He knew what you wanted, but he had the need to treat you like a princess and take time to make the final line even better.

“What, doll?” He asked looking at you waiting for your eyes. But you didn’t open them, the enjoyment of his fingers against you was making you fall into so much lust and desire that you didn’t even noticed them being closed. “Open your eyes, doll. I want to see how much you want me in your eyes.”

As he told you, you slowly let your eyes see the man that you had in front of you. Once you did, a little smile escaped his lips and without making you wait another second, took his thumb and started to caress your clit gently, doing tiny circles, rubbing it side to side, left and right, every movement possible.

“Shit-” you said as soon as you felt his thumb gaining speed but he took it down immediately, making you feel your folds warmer and tighter between your legs. He loved to see you under his touch, messy and letting out breaths or words you couldn’t control. He adored it. So taking his sweet time with you wasn’t news for you.

The air getting hotter around you made you feel your little hairs getting stick to your skin as the seconds were passing and Bucky was still focused on your folds and clit. Switching fingers, he took his middle and index finger towards your clit and quickly regain the speed not wanting you to lose everything you were feeling under his touch. Now, having his thumb free he slowly rubbed your orifice which lead you to let out a tiny smile.

“What? You want me inside of you, doll?” He asked softly but with a little bit of cheekiness on his voice. Biting your lower lip as a smile was coming out, you were ready to pull him in for a kiss, but before you could lift your hand up feeling his thumb inside of you made you stop and let out a tiny moan. Getting closer to you he paused right before your lips and whispered softly: “You better we quiet, we don’t want the people in the room next to us hearing what we’re doing.”

“Fuck them, Buck. Fuck all of them.” You answered softly before ending the space between you two to give him a little kiss. Wanting to take control of it, you made the rhythm slow and moved your lips with decision. But you in control didn’t last long since the moment Bucky started to move his thumb inside of you, you pulled away breaking the kiss to close your eyes with strength. Even if it was as simple as his thumb, his movements were the thing that got you weak against him. He started to make slow circles as he was getting in and out of you. Moving his arm up and down you grabbed it once again to feel it move and make your body even hotter because of it. As he was moving you could feel the tight nod becoming stronger in your lower stomach. Making little tingles as you arched your back feeling all of his fingers speed their rhythm. But bofore you could reach that wanted orgasm, he stopped and took his fingers off you.

With your heavy breathing you locked eyes with him as he was letting out a little smile. Taking you hand to his cheek you pulled him closer and united his lips with yours to feel his skin against yours like you wanted. Slowly after leaving your lips, he went down to your neck and left little kisses on it while your skin shivered under his hot breath. Arriving at your chest, he soon grabbed your dress and quickly pulled it up your body, leaving you with naked in front of him. His eyes took their liberty to admire your bare body as your eyes were still glued to his face. The fascination he had while watching your body made the butterflies in your stomach to fly uncontrollably as well as a little laugh escaping your lips. Hearing this, Bucky locked eyes with you and let out a tiny smile. “You’re so damn beautiful, Y/n.” He said softly but he didn’t give you a kiss like before, instead, he went down to your lower stomach and started to leave gentle kisses on it.

His movements there didn’t last long since he quickly moved towards your folds and clit to press kisses in them as well. Locking eyes with you, he took out his tongue and waited for you to let out a long breath before licking your innner lips with it. Arriving at your clit, with the tip of his tongue started to trace it around slowly making you let out a simple low moan. Slowly speeding up, you could feel once again the warmth against your folds and lower stomach. The tingle sensation made you let out another moan and quickly look towards Bucky to see his tongue moving uncontrollably against your clit.

“Please, Buck, don’t stop.” You whispered grabbing his hair and wrapping your fingers with it. Your legs started to slightly shake between his head and without being able to control it, you lifted your thighs and widen them more to feel him against you even more deeper. You could feel the wetness of your walls dripping inside of you, and that was soon handled by his middle and ring finger quickly sinking into you. Seconds after you could feel your walls pounding as his fingers were moving every single way possible. Your clit was almost reaching that wanted point the moment with his free hand grabbed your inner thigh to widen your folds even bigger to help his tongue and make you finish. Seeing the lust in your face Bucky speeded his tongue as much as he could in your clit as well as his fingers inside of you.

Closing your eyes as soon as you felt your body melting and getting weaker under his touch, the warmth inside and out between your legs made you let out a softly moan as the orgasm was slowly fading away. Your chest was quickly moving as air was coming in and out of your mouth. The moment you felt your hand that was resting on his head lift up, you opened your eyes to see Bucky heading towards your neck to leave a simple kiss in it. Soon he moved towards your lips and stopped right in front of them while his eyes were glued to yours.

“You’re so good to me, Bucky.” You said as a little smile escaped your lips. He grabbed your waist and pulled your body closer to yours making you widen your legs between his body. While your breathing was now going back to normal, Bucky was now gently caressing your naked body up and down as your hot breath was mixing with his. Grabbing one of his cheeks to give him another kiss, you wrapped your legs around his waist and took your other hand towards his chest to slowly caress it down until it reached his belt. Slower making it undone, once it was lose, you quickly pulled it and dropped it on the floor making a loud noise in the process.

Reaching down to his crotch area you massaged it gaining a little smile escaping from his lips. Soon enough, a little bulge appeared against your hand. “That fast, huh?” You asked cheekily once you broke the kiss.

“It’s all you, doll. All you.”

Uniting your lips with his once again, you lifted your waist the moment you felt his hand going towards your ass to lift it up and walk towards the bed. Surprisingly, instead of going towards the comfy mix of pillows on top of the bed, with his strong body placed yours on the floor making you feel the coldness of it immediately. But you didn’t mind, wherever he wanted you be, you were going to be there.

Without breaking the kiss you took your hands towards his pants and clumsily pulled it down towards his knees. With a quick move he had no longer clothes and was as naked as you on the floor. Since he was kneeled down in front of you, a little smile escaped your lips as his big erection was all your eyes could see. Biting your lower lip you locked eyes with him and noticed the desire to touch you in them, he got closer to your face making you feel his dick against your folds. Letting out a long breath of enjoyment you close your eyes embracing every movement he was doing. With his arms by your side he pulled in for another kiss but soon took his right arm to grab his dick and slowly sink into your vagina and feel that incredible sensation he always gave you between your walls.

“Fuck.” He whimpered while slowly entering with his dick. Once fully inside, he dropped his hand by your side and flexed down to unite his lips with yours again. He slightly dropped his body on top of yours for you to feel his V area against you. Taking your hand to the side of his stomach, you started to slowly caress it while his body was still on top of you waiting for you to get used to his dick inside you. But knowing that it didn’t took you long, since you’ve felt it before, he started to grind against you making you let out a moan in the process.

His skin rubbing your clit gently made you shiver under his body and grab his ass with your other hand to feel it move. “You look so good under me, doll.” He said with his heavy breathing against your lips. You took off your tongue and touched his lips as the hotness of his and your body was raising.

Feeling his dick fill your body with lust the more he moved inside of you, you bit your lower lip avoiding the loud moan wanting to come out. Stopping with the grinding, he slowed down and took off his dick off of you to gently rest it against your folds. Catching your breath you took your hand and started to brush his hair with your fingers while he was still holding his body with his hands beside your head.

Not wanting to waste time, you grabbed his dick and gently started to rub your fingers against his tip. He smiled and let out a breath. “You’re such a horny girl.” He whispered before giving you a kiss.

“It’s all your fault- I have to take care of my needs.” The second you were finished with your sentence you wrapped your legs around his waist and with your whole strength, pulled your body upward to hug his shoulder with one arm as your body swing to the side and end up right on top of him. Surprised at your move, Bucky let out a big horny smile to soon take his eyes towards your body. His metal hand started to play with one of your breast as you grabbed his dick and started to rub it with your hand up and down. “Fuck..” he whimpered closing his eyes. Not giving him a chance to take a breath you moved your hips towards his waist and quickly sink his dick inside of you.

Digging your fingers on his chest to help your movements you started to grind against his dick and let out a tiny smile seeing him getting weak under you. With quick hand, he grabbed your ass and started riding him with you. Taking control of the rhythm he started to move you faster as little moans were starting to come out of his mouth. Wanting to feel them against your ear you reached down and placed your head in his shoulder. Shivering under his breath you touched your chest to his while feeling his dick making your walls pound once again. You could feel your lower stomach shaking as his hands were moving you quicker on top of his.

Taking your lips towards him you placed a little kiss on them and without moving, you started to move your ass up and down making his dick go in and out of you. “Shit- Y/n, don’t stop.” He said in a whisper making you melt while your breathing was getting heavier and your legs were getting tired.

Saving you from your legs not working anymore, Bucky grabbed your waist and with a quick move, changed positions. Once again, you found yourself under his body while his dick was going in and out. Not ending with the rhythm and your bodies starting to feel tense, he placed his hands beside your head as the noise of his body hitting yours hit your ears, making you feel even hotter.

You grabbed his chin to pull him closer to your face and look at those blue eyes and the lust in them as he was reaching that wanted organsm. With your other hand, you took your fingers towards your clit and stated to rub it to feel the combination of him inside of you and your clit, wanting you to shatter when the end came.

He started to grunt as he was strongly and deeply sinking into you. “C’mon, Buck, cum for me baby.” You whispered with a heavy breathing feeling your walls strongly pounding and your clit letting out a slight tingle feeling.

Now the room was filled with your moans, his grunts and his body hitting yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist as soon you felt your clit shattering against your fingers. You could see the lust on his eyes as he let out a moan, feeling your insides getting filled with his cum you grabbed his cheeks and gave him a kiss as you and him could feel the orgasm slowly getting away from your bodies.

The moment he dropped his body in top of yours you started to caress the side of his stomach as his and your breathing was trying to go back to normal, while your body was processing what just happened. “Fuck- Y/n.” He let out gaining a little laugh from your mouth.

“Fuck indeed.” You grabbed his cheek so your thumb could trace it and his lips and you eyes were wondering around his eyes, loving every second of it.

He moved a piece of hair hanging out over your face and pulled it away to grab your cheek as well and worship your face. “I love you, Y/n.” He said softly against your lips making your butterflies go crazy.

As soon as he let out those words you unintentionally remembered your mom’s words making you feel a tigh nod in your chest. You didn’t want to believe her, you knew that Bucky loved you and wanted you by his side, but the thought of him not being around you and being with someone else was going around your mind. So, with the lowest tone possible, you closed your eyes as soon as you touched your forehead with his. “Don’t ever leave me, Bucky.”

Hearing those words, he left a kiss on the side of your lips and whispered softly: “Never, doll.” Making you melt under his voice, once again.

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[whatifyoulivelikethat]

headspace, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You try so hard, so very hard to not let Jeon Jungkook have the effect he has on you. You have things to do. But you’re always in his arms again, because you can’t stop thinking about him and he knows it.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; smut (fem reader, fingering, lil bit of spanking, doggy, hair-pulling, cock warming); PWP; softdom!Jungkook

this post, basically + I found a mysterious hickey on my neck and idk where it came from and it stayed there for days  at first i wasn’t going to post this, but who knows, maybe you all want to know what happens in my head when JK is out here looking that good. maybe this is what you’re thinking too, lmao

--

"Ah, Jungkook, w-wait!"

Already all up in your face, pressing you against the wall, grabbing your thighs and sinking his fingers into them, lifting you up, up.

"Wait for what?" was Jeon Jungkook's hot whisper into your neck. "What am I waiting for, after you look at me like that?"

"I... I didn't..."

"You did."

He planted your legs around his waist, forcing you to grab his shoulders so you wouldn't fall, gripping the black linen fabric, his dangling silver earrings brushing against your silver rings, knuckles, and the backs of your hands. He reached up and pushed your head down to make you stare into his dark brown eyes. 

"You looked at them all with a smile, but your eyes lingered on me."

Fuck, his eyes were so pretty. 

The fucking shape, so fucking sexy with the way the upper lid curved downward a little in the inner corner, fanning out to that roundness, then his lashes flaring upwards at the end. Paired with that intense gaze and it was a deadly combination. 

"Lie to my face. Try it."

His voice was deep but gentle, pinning you between the wall and himself, hardness surrounding your softness. You gazed straight into those dangerous eyes. 

"You're going to keep trying, aren't you?"

His pink lips curved into a smirk. "Yes."

His hands went back down, sliding under your red velvet skirt, squeezing your bare thighs. Drumming upwards slowly, sinking his fingers into your ass.

"I told you to stop annoying me."

He kneaded your ass slowly. "You did. And yet I still have the key. You haven't changed the locks to keep me out," he purred, leaning in, pressing his hard chest on yours. Even through the cropped white sweatshirt and his black linen shirt you could feel him, feel his strength and his power over you. "Shall I just stay here from now on? Since you so obviously want me here."

"J-Jungkook..."

Eyes on yours, eyebrow cocked. 

"Go ahead and say it. Tell me to get out. Tell me you don't want me," he breathed onto your chin, nails digging into your ass. "Tell me your lies."

"Shut up."

You tilted your head and pressed your lips to his, one hand sliding up to hold his head in place as you kissed him hard, his smirk into your kiss. For such a taunting mouth, he had a lovely kiss, capturing your lips gently, tongue flitting between them. You were sliding down the wall and Jungkook shoved you back up, stepping closer to the wall to sandwich you harder into it, breaking the kiss. 

"I have things to do..." you murmured, pushing his long hair back and tucking it behind his ear. Jungkook continued smirking at you, amused by your verbal monologue. "I'm busy, I'm tired, there are people waiting on me..." His dark eyes sparkled with danger. "And you always make me want you instead."

One of his eyebrows quirked. "What a terrible predicament."

You narrowed your eyes. "You're so troublesome."

He smiled, and despite your frustrations, it was a genuine one. It was hard to stay mad at Jungkook. 

"I know."

He kissed you this time, making you tingle all over, moaning softly as his tongue played with yours. With a chuckle, he picked you up and leaned you against him, forcing you to clamp your thighs around his waist and your arms to wrap around his neck as he carried you, far too easily for your liking. Jungkook was a strong man. In too many ways, honestly. 

"We can just play for a little while," Jungkook purred. "You love playing with me, don't you?"

"Too much, I think..."

He turned and sat on the bed, adjusting your knees to be on either side of him, kissing down your neck, fingertips sliding under your panties.

"Someone is going to think I'm obsessed with you," you puffed, slight irritation in your tone as he pulled up, shoving your panties in between your ass.

"You aren't?" he teased. 

"You want me to be," you retorted. Jungkook was squeezing your ass, spreading it out, digging his fingers into it. 

"Yes, I do." He licked up your neck and you shivered. His lips kept going up, chaste kisses compared to the manhandling of your ass. Your hair fluffed as he breathed into your ear. "Want this pretty head to be full of thoughts of me." His deft fingers slipped under, stroking the slick wetness. "We always have such fun when you give in to me, don't we?"

Fuck, why did he have to have such a beautiful voice, so rich and so much depth, taking you away to his world?

"And you always, always give in to me."

Two fingers into your pussy, sinking into wet warmth, your eyelids fluttering, arms wrapping around his head, fingers tangling in his black locks, gasping as he thrust them in and out of you, whispering your name hotly in your ear, licking it lightly every time he buried himself all the way to his knuckles. 

"P-Please, Jungkook... let me breathe a l-little..."

His head dipped down and you buried your nose into his hair, smelling the sweet scent of product he used, dark stands curled around your fingers and silver rings, pleasure swirling up from your core. He was so good. So fucking good and he probably didn't even know exactly how good he was. 

"Just breathe me," Jungkook said to your neck, nipping at the space between your collarbones, leaving small red marks. "I'll be your oxygen. I'll be anything you want, everything you want, make you love me more and more until there's no one else but me."

And then his teeth sank down, biting your neck possessively, to the right and above your collarbone, your head falling back to give him more space, increasing his pace in your pussy so that the wet smacking sounds became louder to match your cries. Deep, hard, rough, just the way you liked it, and one glance down found Jungkook's dark eyes boring into you, chocolatey and heavenly, stubbornly telling you that he wasn't going to give up.

"Jungkook," you hissed. "You're making me crazy."

His pink tongue licked against his bite as he grinned. 

You sucked in a breath and pushed his face into your chest, biting your lip to muffle your whine as you came, muscles tensing around his fingers, massaging them roughly as your juices soaked down. Did your skin run hot due to embarrassment or was it just the layers of clothes? Either way, you felt him chuckle as he pulled his fingers out, your panties snapping against your drenched slit uncomfortably. His other hand cupped around your head, tilting it to the side. Your cheek rested on his hair. His glistening fingers in your view, spreading out with strings of your juices in between his joints. 

Yup, it was embarrassment. 

Jungkook put his fingers in his mouth and you didn't look, cheeks burning hot. He nuzzled your neck, lapping at his mark on you. 

"Hm. People are going to see that one," he purred. "That's good."

"People at work are going to think I'm unprofessional," you mumbled.

"Take off your clothes then. I'll mark you in other places."

I'm already marked all over by you, you thought to yourself. You twirled your fingers around the black strip of fabric around his neck, undoing the tie and slipping it down, watching the scarf trail around the curve, a shape you stared at far too much and his mischievous smirk wasn't helping. 

"You going to use this on me?" Without knowing it, your voice had become smokey and hazy, matching his playfulness. "Is that why you wore it?"

His large hand closed around yours, finger by finger, still a little damp from his mouth and your juices. Smirking with that flirtatious spark in his eye, maybe innocent at one point but certainly not now because he invaded your head and did it on purpose, caressing your knuckles as he spoke. 

"You know I can be anything for you," Jungkook drawled, eyebrow arching gracefully. "In this space, I'm all yours." He pulled the tie out of your fingers slowly, centimeter by centimeter of black linen slipping from your fingers, followed by your sanity with his silvery voice. "If it's what you want, I'll do it."

Every time. 

Every fucking time. 

And how could you be mad at those eyes, those lips, that face, inviting you to worship him and love him?

You swore there was a time before Jeon Jungkook, but now you couldn't remember and he wasn't letting you remember, pulling you to the center of the bed, taking off your white sweatshirt, yanking down your red velvet skirt, letting you tug at the buttons of his black shirt, pushing it down his shoulders, kissing the exposed skin, his taste flooding your mouth. His hands on your back, digging his nails in, raking down, pleased by the way you shuddered against him, unhooking your bra as you unzipped his slacks. It just wasn't fair, not fair at all how handsome and cute Jungkook was, how hard his muscle was and how soft his touch was, the way he balanced his fingertips on your chin and tipped it up, kissing you again, your name in his lips, melting your ice with his fire, gasping softly as your fingers skimmed his ass and thighs, drawing patterns in his skin. 

"I love your kisses," he panted. "They're a perfect combination. Erotic and needy and demanding."

Closer, his hands sliding down, the lightest pressure, guiding you down onto the pillows, the scarf still wrapped around his right hand. 

"And the sounds you make." Dropping his head, kissing the curve of your breasts, nudging your silver necklaces away, biting at times, making you moan and bury your fingers in that soft hair once more, black against your silver rings. "Want you to make them over and over again for me, only me..."

His lips around your nipple, tongue so soft but sucking so hard, your back arcing and his eyes on his bites, knowing they'd be there for a while, and yet you could tell he still wanted to do more, wanted his permanent mark on you. 

"Jungkook..."

His piercing gaze on you as he detached his lips, switching sides, listening but not stopping. Wrapping his tongue around the hardened nub, sending shocks of pleasure through your nerves, long hair messy and tangled from your fingers. You chewed on your lip, curling your fingers into his scalp, not trying to hurt him but unable to contain the apprehension within you. His lips parted seeing your expression, brushing against your nipple as he spoke. 

"Don't look so guilty."

Hands on your hips, pulling you down to his face, the scent of your own nipples heavy in his breath as he laid kisses on your cheeks. 

"I don't look this nice just for me, you know. You have to appreciate me." 

Imprinting his touch all over you, nails scratching up your skin, fingerprints from his grip, nipping at your swollen lips. 

"I'll help you feel good. I promise."

All I can think about is you. You're the worst, Jungkook. 

You took the black scarf from him, unwrapping it from his hand. Backed up, feeling his eyes on you, nearly black with lust, watching you collect your hair back and twist the strip around and around, his smirk growing with every second as you tied it off. 

"Convenient."

Jungkook knew what you wanted, grabbing you by the hips and flipping you around, making you scramble and gasp at his forcefulness, your silver necklaces hitting you in the chest. On hands and knees now, your favorite, his hand splayed across your back and pressing your shoulder blades down, other hand clutching your panties and yanking, moaning as he watched your juices drip down, snapping against your thighs. 

"That's a pretty pussy," he breathed, leaning in. You whimpered as his fingers slid in once again, three this time, fuck, almost too many, stretching you out. You clenched around them, making Jungkook moan. "Mmm, fuck yes, so fucking tight, my cock is going to feel so good inside you…"

He found what he was looking for and nudged your hand with it, the sharp edges of the foil pocket tapping against your rings. 

"Reach back for me. Get me hard for you."

"But I haven’t taken off my–"

"Shh, I still have my underwear on, go ahead."

You bit your lip and extended your hand back awkwardly, careful with your rings, palming his semi-hard cock through his boxer briefs as he shoved his fingers into you repeatedly, straightening his back to watch. 

"Yes, that's it," Jungkook groaned, putting more force into it, earning the moans he was waiting for, your muscles tensing around his fingers, obscene, sloppy smacks of your viscous juices tainting the room. "Love watching your ass bounce, so fucking sexy..."

He liked watching you struggle too, hand grasping his cock and rubbing the wet spot around the head, jerked around by his fingers, mouth open and unable to catch your breath, his name a dry rasp between curses.

"Jungkook, a-ah... please..."

So hard, throbbing under your fingertips, straining for release. 

"Want it... please... w-want your cock to ruin me..."

You heard him chuckle, sliding his fingers out and striking your clit. You yelped sharply, turning into breathless cries as he rubbed your clit with his slick fingers, calluses adding to the friction. 

"How can I say no to that?" he drawled. "You want to make me feel good too, hm?"

"Y-Yes, ah, fuck, Jungkook, please..."

You dropped your hand, clutching the sheets, screaming into them, pleasure overtaking you with a sharp throb, hips shaking with effort as your orgasm crashed down, rolling your hips into his touch. Dragged out, eyes rolling back, moan trickling from your lips as he pressed his fingers into your engorged clit, feeling it pulse violently as you rode your high. 

"So fucking hot," he breathed. "You want me that bad?"

There was no point in lying now.

"Fuck, yes I do, fuck."

Jungkook snickered, flicking his fingers against your sensitive opening before removing it. You flinched, hearing the sound of the condom being torn open. Your name fell from his lips, teasing, warm, too much familiarity.

"What?"

One hand on your hip, the other smacking your ass. You sucked in a breath, bracing yourself. 

"You have a pretty back."

"Oh… Thanks?"

And then a high-pitched moan tore through you as he suddenly filled you up with one quick thrust, tensing every muscle in your body, Jungkook groaning with effort, knowing you would tell him to stop if it was too much, but you weren’t telling him because, even if you were tight, you were also so wet that he entered with minimal effort. It was easy for him, slipping in all the way to the base, his crotch slapping into your ass. Too easy. Fuck, you liked him too fucking much.

“Such a tiny little pussy,” he purred, squeezing your flesh, inhaling sharply as you fitted around him. “You need a cock to stretch you out, don’t you?”

You wiggled your ass into his hips. “Jungkook…”

“Hand, please.”

You whimpered and presented your right hand. His fingers curled around your forearm, gripping tight.

“Hold on now.”

His left hand dug into your hip as he began to fuck you, hard, satisfying, penetrating thrusts of pure power that made you cry out, slamming your left hand into the headboard, pushing back to hold yourself in place and prevent your body from sliding up because he was fucking you so hard, and it was so good, so perfect, your wetness squelching around him, the feeling of suddenly being almost empty then full, empty then full, power and pleasure. Why did he feel so good? Why did it feel so good, uncontrollable moans and pants of his name as he took you from behind?

“You’re holding me so well, fuck, so nice and tight for me,” Jungkook hissed, hand leaving your hip and you knew what was coming, your hips moving of their own accord, meeting his rough thrusts as his left hand grasped your ponytail, wrapping it around his palm, tugging slightly, forcing your head to lift, your silver necklaces jangling against your breasts, whimpering almost pathetically, but it was so good, so good, the little jolts of pain and his cock pounding you and you meeting him, core tightening at his insistent gentle yanks.

“Fuck, so sexy,” he muttered. “Such soft hair, pretty wrists, plump ass fucking me back, aren’t you just the perfect little plaything for me?” His words seeping into you, smokey and hazy with lust, the depth taking you under, drowning in your orgasm as the pleasure rocked through you, and he didn’t stop, simply fucking you through it with a hiss, your name an immoral drawl, paired with the lewd squelching of how fucking wet you were for Jeon Jungkook. “How can I go anywhere else when this pussy needs me so bad, hm? When you demand to be fucked and wrecked by this cock?”

“Jungkook, ah, fuck!”

“That’s it, keep cumming for me, cum all over my cock, fuck, feels so fucking good when you clench like that.”

You were going to lose your fucking mind, with his hand on your hair and his other dropping your forearm, grabbing your hip once again so he could fuck you harder, deeper, the bed shaking with the force. You tried to bury your face into the pillows, but couldn’t because of his grip on your hair, so you just wailed out his name, probably far too loud, tightening all around his entire length, oh fuck, tipping over the edge once more, so wet you could feel it trickling down your clit and thighs, the violent smacking of flesh to flesh causing thick drops to hit your sheets.

Everything smelled like sex. Everything was sex.

And there was nothing in your head but Jeon Jungkook’s cock ruining you.

“Fuck, Jungkook, fuck me, you’re so fucking good!”

You heard Jungkook moan your name, ramming his hips into you one last time as he came, cock jerking as he filled the condom with strings of cum. His grip on your ponytail tensed and he yanked your head up, forcing you to arch your back and rut your ass into him, elongating the pleasure.

“A-ah, Jungkook…”

“Shh…”

Your hands poised under you, your necklaces stuck to your chest, trapped in the uncomfortable position, squeezing him periodically. He groaned at the sensation, pressed against your ass.

“Feels so fucking good,” he murmured. “You still gonna act like you don’t want me?”

Your cheeks flared with heat. He released your hair and reached around, cupping your chin, pushing you to him as he met you halfway, his lips against your ear. You could feel the warmth radiating off his face, beads of sweat brushing against your ear and neck. Breath so hot it was making your pulse race. He was slipping out a little, but your pussy tightened around him. He snickered right into your ear. You shivered, a low moan leaving your throat.

“… Don’t…”

His tongue slid out and traced your earlobe. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t… do this to me…”

Lips right on your hot, hot skin, on fire for Jeon Jungkook, his whisper always in your thoughts.

“Have to. You still want me, don’t you?”

Fuck.

“… Yeah.”

--

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook smut

[moondustis]

remember when (m)

pairing: jaehyun + reader genre: angst, smut, soulmate!au, rich kid!au, convenience marriage!au, hurt/comfort, college!au (more details + warnings after read more)  word count: 12,7k summary: A story about vulnerability and the lines we draw to avoid it. About soulmates, desires, setting yourself free. And, of course, a story about love and discovering exactly what it is. song recs: skin by mac miller and pure love by hayley williams 

warnings: there are some mentions of drug use, brief mention of mental issues, bad parenting. just overall some subjects that might not be comfortable to read like i usually put on my fics but it's nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing graphics happens!  disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. none of the events described are real or are an accurate representation of the people and brands named. 

a/n: i would like to thank mary (neostains) for requesting this fic and cami (caiuscassiuss) for helping me with some informations about how ivy leagues work lol. this is my longest work so far, i think, and it’s a very special one. i hope you guys enjoy it! 

✶

There was a time in your childhood where you remember being obsessed with princess movies. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, name a fairytale and you would have probably watched it a couple of times, entranced by the images playing on the newest television your father had bought.

Isn’t it fucked up that young girls are always fed this stereotypical image of love? It’s like a woman is not good for anything but to love someone, to be a half until she found the other and became whole. At 8 you ate that up like no one else.

At 11 your mother hires someone to give you a talk, about how the world worked and about the weird name that would appear in your arm once you turned 18. It feels like a lecture, the woman telling you about perfect matches, the probabilities of love and soulmates in a flat tone that didn’t make you feel as excited as you did watching the fairytales you used to like. When you tell your friends at school about it, they act surprised at the way you were told and instead, tell you about the stories about meeting your true love their own parents had shared.

At 15, your mother enrolls you in preparatory school, with full theatricals about intellects and getting into the best college possible so you can do your duty as heir of your father’s company when it becomes necessary.

It takes you a while, but you realize finally that love is nothing compared to money when you see for the first time that the name on your mother's wrist is not your fathers. Not long after that, you find out that for the sake of the company, you would be marrying Jung Jaehyun, heir of the second biggest automobilistic company in the country.

At 18 you think romance and love are trivial things.

⋄

NOVEMBER, 2013

It’s a harsh winter, one that makes your hands tremble and your head hurt more than usual.

You rub at your temples as you make your way down the hallway as students pass by you at the same pace as yours to get to their next class. A dreading routine, one that is so busy it leaves you with no time to think of anything else but the essay you have to write, or the grade you have been waiting to receive.

Today, though, your headache is so intense that your mind is filled with nothing but a black void.

Despite that, you walk in small steps to your literature lecture. Your bag feels as heavy as your head and the thick wool sweater you have on is barely enough to keep you warm, legs shivering from the stupid skirt they made you wear. Knee length, of course, but still a bother to sit and move.

Fuck boarding school, is what you think as you pass a group of boys talking loudly. One of them has a Harvard pin on his cardigan, you notice in the back of your mind. It only makes you feel sicker.

The first bell rings and you realize how slow you have been really walking. A faster pace, a muttered curse and then the second bells makes you feel like your ears are melting, headache increasing. Now you’re late, a rare occurrence that will probably not affect your records in any way, but still, makes you walk faster.

It all happens very fast. You turn into the corridor that leads to your classroom but not a second later you’re bumping straight into someone, books in your hand scattering to the floor and head spinning from the impact. It’s hard keeping your balance, but the harsh grip on your forearms helps and then you’re opening your eyes, that you didn't notice you had squeezed shut in the first place.

“Fuck, I’m really sorry.” The voice is familiar but the curse feels alien on your ears. Jung Jaehyun never curses, he has manners better than that. “I’m running late and walking too fast.”

He mumbles and you almost snort at the obviousness of it all. At the fact you were literally doing the same thing. “It’s okay. I should’ve been paying more attention.” There’s no reason for either of you to be apologizing, is what you think about as your hand immediately moves to your temple again in hopes pressing on it will cease the pain.

He’s looking right at you when you finally meet his eyes. His face is painted with embarrassment, the red hue on his ears a dead giveaway. He doesn’t keep eye contact for more than five second, instead moving to pick up your books for you. “Still, I’m very sorry.” He sounds polite, as always. The curse from before is still fresh on your mind.

You had met Jung Jaehyun at the age of 9, not that you remember exactly how it went. Some random brunch where you and him sat side by side as your mothers talked about whatever was happening seven years ago. You remember your old nanny being there, and how she asked sweetly if you would like more juice. You remember missing her when she got fired three weeks later for unrelated matters that were never told to you. And that’s about it.

After that, the years passed with Jaehyun being a weird presence in your life. The rich kids ran in the same circles, that didn’t take you a long time to realize and wherever you went he was there too.

German classes at 11, the birthday party of the daughter of someone you didn't know at 12, etiquette classes at 13. An event for your father's company at 14, one of his fathers at 15 and now at 16, attending the same boarding school and having to meet each other like this, with awkward smiles and polite conversation. Because navigating a relationship you didn't know the other very well, but too well at the same time was a weird thing to do.

Jung Jaehyun was like you, but at the same time he wasn't. You were friends but at the same time merely acquaintances.

But this you remember vividly: him asking you random things at german classes and making you laugh with his awkward pronunciation. Him eating cake by your side at the birthday party, covering his lips before he asked you if you like chocolate or vanilla more. Him making fun of you quietly for dropping down your fork loudly in the middle of etiquette class. Him standing awkwardly by your side while you got reprimanded by your mother during the event, for not properly remembering the name of a lady that came to greet you, your head down as you forced yourself not to cry in front of him.

And then, his father clapping yours on the back after they talked about how lovely it would be if someday the two of you got married to join economic forces. No, not someday. When you two got married.

You, pretending he didn't exist after that day, because you realized that this too you wouldn't get to decide.

Jaehyun clears his throat, hands you your books. “How is your father?” He asks, a stupid question to ask when you're both late. A stupid question to ask, period.

You try not to grimace. “He's okay. Alive.” And then he’s chuckling lowly, awkwardly.

“That’s good, no company to run at 16 then.” He tries to joke and it's amusing, in a way that for someone else might not be. But you two are the same, at least when it comes to this.

“And hopefully never.” A stupid thing to hope for, but still he smiles at you.

Then the moment is over, the third alarm sounds and both your eyes shoot open and you’re muttering goodbyes before heading to your classes.

Your head still hurts, but you don’t feel as cold anymore.

⋄

2015

Anticipation, isn’t that just a fancier word to describe the gut feeling that something is going to happen? Worst yet when you know exactly what it is, but have no possible ways of knowing the possible outcome.

There’s a window behind your advisor, with a view to the field where the lacrosse team practices. You watch it with a lack of interest as the older lady flips through pages and more pages of what is possibly your future.

No, not possibly. Definitely your future. Because at least to this, you knew the only outcome possible.

It’s a pretty day, one that shouldn’t be spent inside a room with wood furniture and shelves and more shelves of books, that are almost as many as the certificates on the wall. Not when it also happens to be your birthday.

“This is a really good essay, ___. You have a talent with words.” Your advisor breaks the silence in a flat voice despite it being a compliment. It makes your eyes immediately refocus on her but she gives you no time yet to reply. “I am sure the admission team will read it with interest.”

“Thank you.” A polite smile reaches your lips. She was never much of a praiser, not that she needed to be. Your last name carried all the confidence you needed to have for a thing like this.

And, perhaps the interest they would be having would be exactly about that. What does the only heir of the biggest automotive company in the country have to offer for Stanford? Probably a lot, with a weight that heavy on her shoulders.

“You have started applications to only two schools, are you sure you would not like to add more?” Now she says it in a weirdly soft tone. Persuasion, because it would look good for the school that one of their best students accepted to all the ivy leagues. Your GPA would make sure of that, but that's not all.

“I don’t see the point. Stanford has always been my only choice.” You say it as nicely as possible because this is an old conversation.

“I see, well. This is it then, there's a few other students interested in attending Stanford too." She smiles bitterly, gathering the papers and putting it back on their respective folders. "But the chances of you getting in are very good. I'm sure all your hard work will pay off.”

You go to thank her but at that moment there's a pinch on your arm that leaves you distracted. It's followed by a weird burning sensation that doesn't cease when you grip it underneath the table as gently as possible. If anything, the fabric of your cardigan only makes it worse.

She bids you your goodbyes, with pleasantries exchanged but when you reach the door to leave she interrupts. “Oh, I almost forgot. Happy birthday, ____.” She smiles when you turn to thank her. “Please enjoy the rest of the day, turning 18 is very special.”

With a small bitter smile and promise to do so, you leave the room.

You reach your dorm room in no time, a stoic face on but with quick steps. And you try not to think about it, but the burning sensation on your arms continues.

It goes like this:

You close the door behind you gently, dropping your things down and immediately crumbling as you slide to the floor, unable to stand still anymore. You cry, for the second time today because birthdays were just not good. For about 10 minutes that's all that happens, your silent sobs and complete silence filling the room.

The burning in your arms stays there as a painful reminder and it tempts you to look, even though you know that the outcome didn't matter, not for you. Because behind blurry teary eyes you can see perfectly the image of your own mother's arm and the name of someone you didn't know, that she probably also didn't.

Because you are now 18 and you think romance and love are trivial things, that's all they could be.

You are now 18, and when you can't stand not knowing for another minute, you raise the sleeve of your cardigan and the name Jung Jaehyun is there on your wrist.

An ugly, incredulous laugh leaves your lips and soon turns into a sob. Of course it had to be him, you and Jung Jaehyun were tied to each other for a reason that was beyond fate.

You squeeze your eyes at the same time your hands squeeze your thighs, trying to get a grip. You calm yourself down, deep breaths in and out, your mind providing the good and the bad. No matter how you looked at it, it seemed like a trick the universe was playing on you. One, it would be worse if another name appeared, a name that you would have to pretend didn't exist, because this was just another thing you didn't have a say in. This was supposed to happen anyway, maybe it was better this way.

Then your mind provides another thought that makes your mind swirl. Jung Jaehyun had turned 18 in February, your name had appeared on his arms months ago and he didn't say a word about it to you, or to anyone for all you know. Maybe he was pretending too, maybe he wanted more time thinking that at least this he would get to choose.

Well, whatever fairytale that had been created inside stupid minds, was gone now.

⋄

The whole thing is announced two weeks later, in a gossip magazine with information from an inside source. Information that is carefully crafted from a marketing team the moment you reveal the result.

A result, like a test had been applied and you got Jung Jaehyun for whatever reason.

You exchange pleasantries the next time you see him, no trace of being too young to know the rest of your lives already. You just look at each other in maybe defeat, while your families make a toast to celebrate a wedding to take place in a few years from now. A wedding that held meaning beyond the marks that tied the two of you. Destiny just helped a little bit, it was just a good excuse to justify a marriage that had been arranged ages ago.

A month later you get accepted to Stanford, of course you do. And your mother's smile is a loud reminder of every single time she called you and inquired about every grade, every step you made to make sure this happened and that it all happened accordingly.

It doesn't take you long to find out Jaehyun got accepted there too.

⋄

AUGUST 2016

The heels of your Miu Miu boots make small stomping noises on the wood floor sounds as you walk through shelves and shelves filled with books. It’s not a loud sound, probably only perceived by your own ears, and you let it distract you as you navigate the big corridors of the Green Library.

Stanford had made your eyes shine during your first visit and then for the first months of your freshman year. The thrill of finally experiencing something new and yet undiscovered carried on until it gave space to normalcy, another routine. But this time, a feeling blossomed inside your stomach with wanting to eat it up.

A feeling that died and resurrected every now and then, but you played it safe. Navigating it with baby steps with fear of what could happen if you strained a little too far from the line. And what could that be? A magazine spread on how a famous philanthropic's daughter parties too hard in college, with pictures of you doing a line on marble countertops?  A class failed and the disappointment on your mother's voice when she called you? A scandal about your night escapades? You didn’t want to find out just yet.

So you settle for your new routine, of going out every now and then with the roommates that you were about to consider friends. Pondering if it’s worth it to join another club, just to feel like there's something else that makes you feel excited. Coming to the library, studying to keep your mind busy because your thoughts were never up to no good.

And it's so easy, being busy like you always managed to, with assignments, and volunteering and maintaining a perfect GPA.

It's also easy to ignore Jung Jaehyun’s existence. Because this time, unlike in boarding school, the task is much simpler, since classes are filled with so many people that on the ones you shared with him you barely get a glance of his eyes. Because he ran around in circles that had nothing to do with yours.

It was always clear to you, since youth, that Jaehyun was a social butterfly that just needed a little pushing, and he was nice enough that people always wanted him near. A high contrast to your quietness and introverted ways, staying in small circles and almost never allowing people to get too close.

It's weird thinking about him, putting a face to the name that was forever marked on your skin as a reminder of your future. It was weird thinking that it was easy to ignore this feeling too, like all the other ones that you have kept away in your small little box. The feelings that came out at least once a year when it all became too much, and you would sit in a duvet to spill all the dead butterflies inside your stomach out on the floor of a therapy clinic.

But even like this, weirdness doesn't begin to cover the way sometimes you catch yourself thinking of a memory that involves him, random and unexpected. A moment shared before the two of you discovered what expected you, before destiny was revealed. And you don't pretend that it's not real, that you don't feel the longing and need to be close, that your skin doesn't tingle when you see him around campus. You were long past pretending now, because there was no reason to play dumb when sometimes all you had were your own thoughts to rot your brain.

What you were good at, though, was concealing it all.

Was Jaehyun good at that too? Now that's something that you think about more than you would like. It didn't help that sometimes you would bump into him out of nowhere.

You enter the marketing aisle, eyes fixed on the small numbers taped to each section in hopes that the book you need was still here. It takes you awhile to realize that there's someone else with you, only moving your head up when you hear the footsteps approaching.  

“Hi.” Jaehyun says, a small smile on his lips that is as gentle as every other thing about his looks. He stands close, but not too much. A safe distance for you to run your eyes through his body one time, eyes stopping at the big ‘S’ on his sweatshirt.

You clear your throat before greeting him back. “Hello.” Your voice is low, thoughtful of your surroundings, but you match his smile in a silent agreement of politeness.

His eyes run through your face the same way yours does his. Curiosity, or maybe the longing feeling you try to not think about. The unspoken space in between the two of you is intact for now.  

He has changed so much in a year, is what you always think about when you two get to see each other up close. It always made you feel a weird nostalgia, seeing a face you had known for so long but now feels a little out of reach because of your own stubbornness. Your own fears.

“What book are you looking for?” He asks after some time, making small talk.

You turn your eyes to the books, him following. “Uhm, Kotler.”

“Oh, of course. How is marketing going?” You almost laugh at his attempt to make conversation, a skill well acquired during etiquette class.

“It’s okay. Not regretting it yet.” A half lie. Maybe another thing you were keeping locked deep down, your dislike for your major. But thinking about that while having a conversation with your soulmate was far from something you wanted to do.

He hums amused, eyes still fixed on the shelf. “That's good.”

You finally find the book, leaning down to get it and hugging it to your chest as your mind searches for something to offer for your own piece of ice breaker. Then you remember seeing his face last week printed on a glossy paper, an intricate article on consumerism tendencies online besides it.

“Congrats on the publication.” You say, facing him again. It’s genuine, because you knew how things like that really mattered. Small things that were nowhere near the accomplishments expected of the two of you, but still something to be proud of.

He laughs lowly, with bashful manners of looking down to his feet and with ears turning red. “It’s just a campus magazine.” Because of course he would be humble, amongst all the other qualities you were well acquainted with. Deep down you know that it's just a reflection of the high expectations that have been set the moment he was born.

“Still, it was very well written. And everyone said it was impressive for a freshman.” Everyone being the friend that showed you the magazine, but you'll pretend for him that it was something more. To try and erase the feeling of not deserving something that probably runs through his mind.

You would crush it beneath your boots if you could, it's the weird thought that runs through yours.

He huffs. “Well, it’s Stanford. Hard to know what's gonna be impressive and what is just expected of you.”

“Good thing we are all promising young adults that don't need their egos to be fed, right?” You joke back and it makes him laugh a little too loudly, quickly stopping himself as you two exchange awkward but familiar glances with tiny smiles on your lips.

A moment of silence settles next, one that lasts only long enough for you to shift the weight from one leg to another. Then he's asking. “Are you… Are you doing something this weekend?”

“I’m expected at a company party.” You reply flatly, blinking twice but not really pondering the reasons for his curiosity. You two stare at each other for a second that passes quickly.

“The HSBC event?” He asks and you nod, expecting the words he says next. “Oh, I'll attend it as well.”

“Boring, huh?” An attempt to continue a conversation that should've ended by now.

“Yeah.” He looks at you, and then away, and then back at you. “I was thinking that we could have din-“

Footsteps interrupt his words and you look behind your shoulder to see who the newcomer is. A tall man, taller than Jaehyun even, smiles at you guiltily before he’s looking at Jaehyun and raising his brows. “We are late, dude.” He deadpans as you look between the two of them.

“Shit, I didn’t realize.” Jaehyun says in a groan, bringing his big watch to his face,  and you have to contain a smile at the curse. Then he turns to you. “Sorry, I gotta go.”

“It’s fine.” You mumble, the book still held tight against your chest.

He waves awkwardly as the other man throws you another smile. You watch them leave with trembling fingers.

⋄

DECEMBER 2017

December always made you feel a little weird. Blame it on the cold and the days spent in bed trying to get the warmth you craved. Or on the impending approach of winter break and having to deal with your parents and your obligations for the month to follow.

But you try not to think about that just yet, when the time comes you'll deal with it. That's what you always do. For now you let your bed swallow you as you scroll down mindless through your instagram feed, double tapping publications of past boarding school acquaintances smiling with the Harvard location attached to each picture, just like the brand names are attached to their clothes. It's a little pathetic to you that your own account looks the same, with pictures carefully picked with a marketing tactic in mind.

Your little distraction is interrupted when the door to your room opens and your roommate, Ela, walks in, clearly shivering from the cold even underneath her thick dark grey coat. “God, it's fucking freezing outside.” She mumbles as a greeting, removing her boots and setting it close to the door before draping her coat on her chair.

“How was the meeting?” You ask from under your blankets, laughing a little as she drops her things on her own bed. The question makes her sigh loudly.

“That dude is still an asshole.” The dude in question being her partner to a never ending project of rebranding that sometimes stressed even you, from how much she talked about it. “But we are almost done with it now.”

“That's good.”

She plops on her bed, across from yours and a comfortable silence settles for a moment as she probably tries to have a moment of calmness.

Ela was an old face on your life, having attended the same school but never really getting closer than knowing each other's name. Still, it was good that you got paired to dorm with her. A familiar face that became a friend of sorts, as the two of you built a relationship on things in common and the want to have someone you could trust in a new place. And she was different than you, more outgoing, had a liking for socializing that you could never match, but still understood you.

“Hey, did you finish that essay already?” She asks, turning her face to you.

“Yes, it was bitch to write.”

“And Kotler is super boring to read.” A sigh escapes her lips and you agree loudly because she's right. Sometimes, when you allowed yourself a moment of wishful thinking, you would wonder what it would be like to have a major that you didn't feel like your brain was melting from boredom when reading about.

“I'm really tired.” You reply, just to say something back.

“Same. Are you doing something for winter break?”

In your mind you know exactly what you'll be doing, a schedule even ready on your mind, but  instead you say “Not really, are you?”

She hums, voice tired but still excited as she goes on about how she wants to go to Europe again, visit Amsterdam because that was one of her favorite travel destinations. When you ask how it was, she describes in perfect detail, how the streets looked and how it felt very welcoming, telling you that you absolutely had to go there someday.

You promise to go and in the back of your mind you wish you could. Maybe you can if you can do more week hours on your internship and ask for a free week.

You shake your head at that though.

“Oh, I got this little get together today. At that bar downtown.. .Do you want to go?” You know she’s asking out of politeness, not because she didn't want you there but because you rarely said yes to her invitations.

But there’s a tiny spark on your chest, one that resembles the restless feeling you would get when you stayed too long laying down. It's not a motivation as much as it is boredom and the wish to feel something other than half emptiness. Other than the want to escape.

“Ok.” You say, shrugging slightly.

“Really?”

The raise of her brow makes you laugh. “Yeah, we are getting home next week. That's the last time I get to do this for a while.”

⋄

The bar is a little crowded, with winter break approaching and no one really daring step outside for a smoke because of how cold it is. The owners took great advantage of that by offering a ‘buy two get one free’ deal, that if you take a closer look at is really just a scam considering the price. But it's enough to fool college students that are excited about being away from this place for a while.

That’s what you think about after you down the remnants of the third drink you and your roommate shared. It’s not that kind of night, of getting wasted and not remembering anything the next day. It’s more of a little get together, for your roommate's club members and you are here merely as an intruder.

You feel just a little tipsy as you listen to her friends talk, some of them you knew from afar and some were just strangers that were nice enough to make you laugh every now and then. Still, you feel detached from the conversation, smiling and nodding when needing but not really taking part.

“What about you, ___?” A girl with round cheeks and pretty eyes asks you regarding your vacation plans. “You gotta invite us if you are throwing a party.”

You scoff before you can catch yourself. Alcohol always drops your inhibitions a little, but still you are quick to cover it up. You laugh along with the others, promising to invite everyone even though you are not throwing any parties, most likely never.

You roommate looks at you from the corner of her eye, smiling sympathetically because she knows you, and knows how stupid her friends are, but it's fine. You just wish you could just take it easily, the interest, the wanting to get close so they too will appear in a gossip magazine and live the life they think you do, without wanting to tell them to get a fucking life already, because this is just pathetic.

You smile back at her, wishing for another drink as your thigh highs start to roll a little uncomfortably. Shifting from leg to leg does nothing to help it, so you try to push the little annoyance to the back of your mind.

The small groups divide in different topics over the time, and you find yourself talking to some guy you had never seen before, that goes on and on about his amazing business ideas and how successful it's going to be when he finds the right stakeholders. You nod and try to focus through the whole thing.

The rest of the night goes like that. Fake laughter, loud music and conversation that gets more boring as the clock ticks, so you find an escape excusing yourself to go to the bathroom, not because you need to but to get away for a second.

In retrospect maybe it would've been better to endure another discussion about LA clubs and entrepreneurship.

The bar is so crowded that you have to excuse yourself at least five times, and on the sixth one you end up bumping into someone.

“Oh.” Is the clever thing you say when your eyes are met with Jaehyun already looking at you, his eyes lower than usual from probably taking advantage of the drink deal like you had.

He looks relaxed, hair parted in a way that shows his forehead and an all black outfit that doesn’t look as expensive as it probably is, but he makes it work so well that you do a double look while in your hazy state. If he notices, he doesn’t show it by the way he keeps his smile unfazed at you.

“We gotta stop seeing each other by accident,” he says, laughing a little.

“Yeah.” His words take a little to digest so you keep looking at him for a beat of a second. It’s a first, seeing him in a place like this. Where you can see just how well he really can adjust to any setting. He fits right in with the low lights and the relaxed atmosphere.

“This is Johnny.” He gestures for the guy besides him, who turns his attention to you and smiles in a way that’s a little familiar. Then you realize he’s the guy from the library over a year ago, and the friend Jaehyun posted pictures every now and then on his instagram page.

“Hey, It’s nice to meet you.” Johnny says, same smile from before still on and you return it. “Have heard a lot about you.”

That makes you laugh, a mixture of confusion and excitement and politeness that confuses even yourself. “Good things I hope.”

He tilts his head playfully. “Only the best things you can hear in place like this.”

The three of you share smiles, the interaction then turning into a conversation promoted by a question you ask, both from wanting to have something to say and out of curiosity. Johnny does most of the talking, explaining how he and Jaehyun had been friends for a while but only got closer now that they are attending the same university. They share a story of something that happened, them buying each other the same thing for christmas and you listen to the whole thing entranced.

It’s weird in some way how you can learn so much from your own soulmate from someone else. And it's weird how you react with joy, perhaps, to the teasing Johnny does to Jaehyun so naturally.

When the conversation settles down, Johnny looks between the two of you for a few seconds before he’s excusing himself to find an unnamed person. It was predictable he would do that, with the way he kept aiming the conversation to make it about Jaehyun, as if he somehow had to wing his friend to you.

You stare at your shoes, unsure of what to say now and maybe too worn out from the whole night to come up with something to talk about. But you don’t have to, because soon he’s asking  “Are you here alone?”

You look up, a tiny smile on your lips. “No, I came with my roommate. But she's with her friends.”

“Oh, I’ll keep you company then.” He offers and you nod, following him to the bar where it's more illuminated and you can both lean a little on the counter.

Jaehyun is good at making people feel comfortable, you had noticed that many times before and it's no surprise when he asks you about your roommate, about what songs you have been listening to lately. He tries to keep a conversation with ease, even if it stays in the usual surface you two are used to.

If you weren't so distracted by everything, your mind would probably offer that it feels a lot like when you were kids and standing in the corner of a ballroom in uncomfortable clothes, talking about things that didn't matter.

“Have you ever been to Amsterdam?” You ask him suddenly when the past topic dies down.

“Yeah, it's really nice there.”

You hum, remembering your roommate's words. “That’s cool, I really want to go there someday.”

Out of nowhere he starts laughing a little, as if you had said something funny. When you inquire about it, he shakes his head clearly amused by the way his eyes squint a little from his smile. “It's just… Don’t you think it's weird that we have known each other for all these years, and all we do is do this weird small talk?”

You laugh too, speaking before you can stop yourself. “And still for some reason I feel like I know you.”

His eyebrows raise for a second but his smile is unfaltering, your statement not bothering him.  “You know me.” He says, as a matter of fact. “And I know you.”

Now this makes you freeze, blinking slowly but it doesn't last long until you are covering your surprise by chuckling. Your eyes meet his and it strikes you that it's true, you know him and he knows you. Not everything, but what would be the fun in that.

Maybe that's why the two of you kept doing this small talk, to get to know each other better even in the smallest things. That's what getting to know someone is, after all. Not the business interviews and networking you grew up with.

You shake your thoughts away, leaning on the counter with one elbow and then resting your face on your palm. “What is your favorite thing about me then?” It's what you ask, in a playful tone to keep the conversation going. Or because you actually want to know, out of curiosity or vanity.

He chuckles, bringing his hand to his face as if in deep thought, before he replies. “I like that you are smart.”

The simplicity of it makes you snort. “Please, that's a cliche thing to say in a place like this.” You say, mimicking the words his friend had said to you earlier. “What does that even mean?”

“I don't know.” He shrugs while laughing, “Johnny just says things like that sometimes.”

You nod then, making an amused sound while you turn on the counter to stare forward. Your roommate is on the opposite side of yours, leaning against a wall while talking to a girl taller than her but just as pretty. The view makes a tiny smile settle on your lips, the beginning of a spark on your chest.

It always amazed you how people who didn't know their soulmate yet continued to live on, simply letting the universe do its thing naturally. In your young mind you had always thought that love was supposed to be a yearning that you couldn't control, that you would have to be with the person you love no matter what, and do anything to find them. That had changed now.

You turn to Jaehyun again. “What would you say is your favorite thing about me then, if we didn't know each other already?” You ask. It's a weird question because it makes him raise one eyebrow at you, but there's still not a trace of annoyance on his face.

“Isn't that also cliche to say?” He huffs. “That you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen?”

You can't help the embarrassed laugh that leaves your parted lips in shock. “Are you flirting with me?”

His ear gets an incredible red shade and you find it extremely charming. “It's just the truth.” He defends himself and it only makes you giggle more.

You thank him, tell him that you think he’s pretty too and correct it to handsome when he raises one eyebrow again. It makes a nice atmosphere settle and you feel comfortable enough to ask “So... if we didn't know each other you would flirt with me at a random party? Buy me a drink and all that?”

He smiles, dimples showing while he brushes his hair back. It's not the first time, of course, but you find yourself a little in awe at how pretty he actually is. Pretty in a way that makes you feel a little out of it, stunned by the way his lips start forming his next words.  

“What do you like to drink?” He asks casually.

Now it's your turn to raise one eyebrow. “Hmm, I like Moscow Mules.”

You watch as he turns to the bar, calling the waiter over and ordering two drinks of your said preference. The mixture of feelings on your chest make you feel drunker than you did before and you wish you could put a name to it. Excitement, amusement, whatever it is only increases when he looks at you again.

“I’m Jung Jaehyun, by the way.” He offers, smiling sweetly and you match it when you realize what he's playing at

“I’m _____. It's nice to meet you.”

⋄

Playing pretend with him is easy, even more when the drinks make your inhibitions fall completely. Jaehyun tells a joke and you lean forward a little. Then you talk about something and he comes closer as if to hear better. Another drink and plenty of silly conversation later, he's completely invading your space in a way that you don't feel slightly bothered by.  

Not even when leans to whisper in your ear. “Do you want to get out of here?”

You leave the bar giggling like the two mildly drunk people you are, basking in the joy of it and of the little fantasy you two have created. Jaehyun keeps you close, your hands linked and it's such a nice feeling that you get even more overwhelmed in a good way. The two of you walk almost glued to each other basically skipping and muttering playfully things just to say something.

When you are near the dorm complex, he stops abruptly and when you turn to him, his hands find your cheeks and his eyes search yours for a brief moment before he’s bringing your face closer to his.

It's a sweet kiss, contrary to what you thought it would be when you allowed yourself to think about this. You had always imagined desperation, not being able to endure not doing it anymore. But the reality is that Jaehyun kisses you with delicacy and  even if there is desperation to it, it's not in a way that overpowers anything else. But in a way that makes you moan lowly, makes you press him even closer by grabbing his shirt as he moves his lips slowly against yours.

There are no fireworks, no deep realization that you are kissing the person you are meant to be with for the rest of your life. But it's good, makes you want more, makes you want to bring him closer than possible, and maybe that's proof enough.

You reach his dorm in a blink after that, him having a bit of a hard time opening the door but when he does it takes no time for you to be pressed to it.

For a moment he just looks at you, eyes hazy and shining. They run through your face the same way yours does his, with longing that is finally allowed. You try to quiet the way your heart beats by leaning forward and kissing him.

The kiss is hungry but never too fast, with his hands moving to your hips and you pulling on his lips. When you moan a little at the feel, he opens his mouth a little, sliding his tongue against yours and you swear at yourself for waiting so long. Swear that you will never get enough of this.

Your lips move together in a way that is proof enough to you that this is something else even in your drunk state. His lips are soft, tongue moving with yours as if he wants to take his time and when your hands move from his shoulders to his neck he  shudders, parting from you with a wet sound.

“W-We should...” He murmurs against your lip and you nod before he even finishes, letting him lead you to his bed. It feels a lot like yours, and the rest of the room is just as familiar but you pay no attention to that when he lays you on it gently.

It’s no surprise that Jaehyun is a giving lover and you figure that out when he kisses you like he wants to find out exactly what you like. Exactly how to make you fall apart in his hands.

He does everything with an expertise that maybe should make you feel jealous, but out of all things you are, a hypocrite is not one of them. So he shows you what he has learn from other people, and you show him what you have

And he doesn't settle for anything less than kissing all over your body after the two of you get undressed. For less than telling you in whispered words that he has dreamed about this before so many times and immediately swallowing with his tongue the words you would never be able to let out.

That you had dreamed about this too.  Dreamed about coming on his tongue as he eats you out, your hands grabbing at his hair and seeing stars. A giving lover, of the best kind,  Even more when he asks, with his mouth shining with your arousal. “How do you want it?”

You blink as your mind spins with the endless possibilities, but the ultimate realization that you would have him any way.  You decide on the one that gives you more control. “I… I want to ride you.”

He bites his lips, ears burning red again. “Yeah,” His words come out mumbles as he just looks at you for a second before moving to lay on his back. “Yeah, ok. Fuck.”

You straddle his hips after he rolls down the condom, his eyes looking up at you in what you think is adoration, pure desire. And then you kiss him again, all tongue but still slow. So deep that you think you’ll never forget what he tastes like.

He lets you sink down at your own pace, palms on your ass when you move slowly, feeling him stretch you with every inch you sit on. He hums, hands tracing your skin delicately and it only makes it so much worse.

You move, a grind at first testing the water and immediately crying out lowly from the friction and you look for support with nails grabbing at his chest. He doesn't seem to mind.

“Good?” A stupid question to ask with the way you are so wet around him that the room is filled with a squelching sound when you move up and down with all the patience in the world.

Still, you nod. “You feel - Fuck - really good.”

He looks down at where you’re connected, biting his lips to suppress the noises you want him to let out so you move your hips with purpose, eyes roaming his face to watch it contort in pleasure as he lets out the prettiest moan you have ever heard. Low and deep.

His hands move further down then, gripping your hips and moving you in a grind that feels too good. So good that you have to drop your arms to his chest for leverage as he moves you to his liking, pushing your hips back and forth.

You come with your back arching, long moan of his name as your entire body shakes and tingles and you have to grip at the sheets beside you for support. You try to keep moving as your orgasm washes over you but its too much and your walls clenching around his cock  makes him grip your ass even tighter, the action sending a thrill down your body as you fall forward on his chest with a wail.

Your mind swims in the gooey feeling of pleasure and all you can think about is him. Jaehyun, Jaehyun, Jaehyun.

He waits for a second, hand moving to your back as your body trembles, drawing calming circles on it. When you have calmed down, he plants his feet on the bed and starts moving his hips up slowly and patiently but with deep strokes that make you bite your lip with oversensitivity.

And when you can, you move your head up, balancing yourself on your arms and looking at him. He wastes no time in kissing you, not deep because he parts his lips in a groan during a particular stroke, speeding his movements and grunting when you try to meet them back.

It’s when he has had enough, that he pulls out only to turn you on your back so he can enter you more easily, his hips now meeting yours in a pace that tells you that he’s close.

“Jae, oh… oh my god.” You sigh dreamily yet broken enough that it makes him smile when a sharp thrust makes your hips raise a little. He looks proud of being able to get you like this.

He hums as if agreeing with a very thorough statement, moving his arms so he can press his chest to yours as he fucks into you with calculated thrusts . You can barely move with his weight on top of you, with how he seems to lock you in place with his hips and it’s enough for another broken sob to fall from your lips.

“Deep?” He asks in a groan and with a nice slide of his cock inside of you to punctuate the question. You nod frantically because he’s as deep as he can get, knows this very well, and the feeling is something that makes you flutter around him in the desperate need to come.

He kisses your cheek then, two sweet but filthy enough with his heavy exhales against it. His pace never gets too fast, just hinting at it but he maintains a speed that leaves you in the brink of another orgasm. But, you only reach it when he pinches your clit with his fingers, circling it until your lips part in a silent scream and you’re coming again, stars behind your eyelids.

And the sounds he makes when your walls squeeze just a little more than he can handle are something else. A deep groan and a pained little sob that you find extremely endearing and hot at the same time, his face contorting as he quickened his pace just enough to push him over the edge, finally releasing inside the condom.    

He pulls out, breath heavy as he smiles at you falling putty on the bed and watching as he removes the condom and disposes it only to come quickly to the bed quickly.

He hovers over you, kissing you sweetly. Your arms find his shoulders easily as the two of you bask in the afterglow of it.

Then he kisses you again, tongues dancing together and you don’t mind when his hand starts to wander again, sending goosebumps to your body. His fingers find your clit with ease, circling it slowly before applying more pressure as your lips part and your hand grip his arm, for support and not to cut the actions.

You come again, not as strong as your first one but still enough to have you shaking a little and screaming silently. His finger stays at your clit, hovering until he asks again in a whisper. “Another?”

You nod, and he resumes his actions slowly, until you are seeing starts and he swallows your moans with kisses and stops your trembling with soft hands grounding you.

When you recover your breath, an incredulous laughter leaves your lips. “You’re insane.” He just smiles, nose brushing against yours.  “God, I...I gotta clean up now.”

He moves to get up. “Yeah sure, I’ll show you the bathroom.”

You end up cleaning together, a shower that doesn't take you long, even if it's hard to keep your hands to yourselves but you are both tired, feeling a little drained after the glow has gone away.

⋄

Afterwards, you are laying on his bed side by side, surrounded by the smell of his body wash and wearing the big t-shirt and sweatpants he offered you.

Your mind starts wandering lazily with the remnants of your high, that's why the words escape your mouth without much thought. “Isn't it weird that even if we have someone in the world meant for us we can still feel lonely?” You are not lonely right now, not really. Maybe it's just the sadness of winter speaking, or maybe you're still a little drunk.

He takes a second to reply, voice low when he does. “Yeah. But you don't have to.” He says.“ Feel lonely, I mean. You don't have to.”

It's a little funny how he feels the need to explain himself to you, as if you don't quite understand him when the reality it's both very far from that and exactly it at the same time.

“I don't think thats how it works. It's not up to me.” If it was, wouldn't you have stopped being lonely by now? Wouldn't you have finally succumbed to the desperate need of wanting someone, something, when late night hit and the mark in your arm would burn just as your eyes as you fought back tears?

Still, he says simply. “I think it is.”

You smile sadly then, turning to him a little and watching as he kept his gaze on the ceiling. He looked relaxed, as if this setting was soothing his mind and it makes a familiar feeling blossom on your chest.  “What did you feel when the mark showed up on your arm?” A question that you had wanted to ask the moment you found out it was him, but instead had failed miserably to guess the answer to.

“Relief.” He says without thinking, a truthful and genuine reply.

“That you wouldn't have to end up marrying someone that wasn't your soulmate?” You ask. All these years you had thought that this must've been it, what you felt that day.

“No. I was relieved that it was you anyway.” Is his reply, body turning and eyes meeting yours. For a second you’re frozen, blinking because it’s strange to have someone put their feelings out so easily.

“Is… Is that what love is, then?” You ask softly. “Relief that you have at least one person that makes you feel held?”

Maybe this is not really what he meant,  and more so wishful thinking of your part than anything else, but still he nods.

“I think it’s that. And other things.” His voice is soft when he says this. “I'm not sure what it is, but I want to find out.”

You can’t help as you examine his face after his confession. Is this what being soulmates is, then? Having someone that it's worth taking the risk of finding out? Or maybe it’s having someone that will show you exactly what it is.

Does all that explain the way you can't look away from him?

“Me neither.” You reply in the same quiet voice because it’s true. You tend to act like you know everything, and that you know what love is. You know love it’s pathetic and that it gets in the way of things, but is it really that bad? So you ask “Is it bad that I think you'll only love me because the mark on your arm tells you to?”

He laughs briefly. “No, it makes sense.” His eyes find yours again. “But you know it’s not, don't you?”

“I do.” At least you do now.

Maybe that's why you fall asleep so easily

⋄

2014 (flashback)

It’s the last day before summer break and Jaehyun is tired.

The other four guys he shared a room with are all packing their things for a nice vacation somewhere in Europe or one of the paradisiac beaches they all like to talk about. Jaehyun just wants to get home, not think about college applications for two months and maybe go somewhere he can be alone for a while.

“Sooyoung is kinda hot, huh?”  Yugyeom says out of nowhere and the room settles in a unison hum of agreement. He joins in too.

There’s a loud creak noise as another one of his roommates slumps into the bed but he doesn't bother checking who it is, mind somewhere else as he stares at the ceiling.

“True. But I would die if Ela gave me her number.” Jungkook sighs dreamily and Jaehyun can't help the snort that escapes his lips. Just yesterday they had a conversation exactly like this one, but not quite as innocent. Trust a group of men that have no idea who their roommates are to act like this.

Even though Doyoung, the only one of them that already knew, still acted the same when it came to this. His soulmate isn't someone he knew already, so what was the point in waiting. That's why he asks the next question. “Jaehyun, you know ___, right? Does she stick to the whole ‘waiting’ thing?”

Jaehyun blinks, shifts almost unnoticeable. “I don't know her like that.” Is what he says, which is a half true. He knows her, probably things no one else knows but that’s what happens when you grow up in the same circles, he guesses. Right now though, he feels like he doesn’t know her anymore, not with the distance she had put between them after the wedding was announced by your parents.

Then, he starts thinking about himself. Is he waiting for his soulmate? He has kissed some girls, but it never went beyond that. But now he remembers coming home from german class one day and his mother making soft cake as she told him about the name that would appear on his wrist.

He remembers that he had said loudly that he wished ____ would be his name, because then they could be better friends for some reason as silly as playing around together.

Sicheng interrupts his thoughts by snorting loudly. “Are you really trying to hit?” He asks Doyoung. “Gonna end up in the cover of a magazine for trying to corrupt the nation’s good girl.”

The room erupts in laughter and comments after that. He drowns it with his mind going somewhere else.

That night he dreams about her.

⋄

10, FEBRUARY 2018

Winter break goes by quickly with one too many end of the year celebration and wishing people you had never seen before a happy new year.

You spend your days fulfilling your internship at the company you would one day own, following around the superiors for the Marketing team and playing nice when they try to flatter you.

So busy that you can barely think about it, but you still do. You think about him so often that you think you have lost your mind.  And you see Jung Jaehyun too, here and there at parties, between whiskey glasses, tuxedos and unspoken words. Because, as you always thought, keeping it all unsaid is easier. At least for now.

Perhaps he knows it all, in a different way than you. So the two of you kept it lowkey, for the duration of those two months that are now gone with the wind. Two months of not a single magazine spread on your escapades, or you parents mentioning anything that is out of the ordinary.

It's as if the two of you have a secret, that some may assume, but still don't know for sure. What you and Jaehyun did that night is kept inside a locked box, one that you share with him and that every moment until now seems to fit in. What you don't know is if he too keeps the box as sacred as you do.

What you don't know is if the thought of it being opened by prying eyes scares him too.

Being back to campus is, ironically, a breath of fresh air. No more business meetings disguised as family celebrations, or stupid networking, or smiling for a camera to say that the company has never been better. No more internship and lack of time for something else.

February comes and it's just you, your dorm bed and the roommate you will miss when it's time. Just the lectures and keeping busy and trying not to think about things only to fail miserably.

But then, there are the phone calls, never ending and always the same. Or almost always.

The phone lights up, stupid ringtone, and your heart starts beating a little faster. How could someone ever guess what a phone call is about?  Not having control made you antsy.

Your mother greets you as always, stern words, asking how you have been out of politeness. You spend the entire phone call waiting for her to just say what she wants to already.

She mentions being busy, good opportunities, of an article you should read and something that sounds like a threat if you let yourself slip and get a scandal, even though she has said all this not long ago after gifting you another piece of jewelry you’ll keep stored deep in your drawer.

At least this time it doesn't take long for her to finally say what she wants. “Jaehyun’s birthday is soon. Don't forget to greet him.”

“I won't.” You reply simply but she’s quick to cut you off.

“Publicly. Maybe sending flowers would be good, or buying something that can get attention from the press.” It’s obvious this is not about you and your soulmate, it’s about you and your future. As everything is.

“Ok.”

“Just because he's your soulmate doesn't mean people will connect you two together forever.” She continues, never knowing when to stop. “You have to remind them of that.”

“I know that.” Because you do. There was no guarantee that your marriage with Jaehyun would be good publicity if the two of you weren’t liked or even popular.

You fear that when the time comes, people will realize something you yourself already has. That maybe you don’t really deserve Jaehyun, not because he’s better than you, but because you are not sure you can give him the love he deserves.

What you don't know clearly yet, is that you’re selfish and want him anyway.

“Good.” Your mother says and then the line cuts.

One time a therapist told you that maybe your mother was jealous. Because you would get to experience something she didn't, being with your soulmate, and that it was normal. It didn't mean she was evil and hated you. Another one said that that was the reason she was so stern, she wanted to keep you in line to prevent you from failure so as to not hurt you. That, behind the lack of affection, was a wish for your happiness.

Maybe there will be a time you understand that plenty. Maybe some things can never be truly fixed, only forgotten.

Four days days after that, you text Jaehyun a simple happy birthday with a heart at the end of it. You also get a chocolate cake sent to his place from a bakery you like, and when he calls to thank you, you tell him to not post it anywhere.

He laughs and tells you that it's a good idea.

⋄

2007 (flashback)

It was another late afternoon party, for another thing that you couldn’t remember or care about because things like this shouldn't really matter when you are only ten years old. Still, you had watched the other kids play with each other as their parents talked business and laughed, drunk from the bubbly drinks they downed glass after glass of.

For a moment you felt like reaching out and playing with them too, but it died soon and you stayed unmoving on the chair you had been placed in, while your parents did the same as the others somewhere in the distance.

It had been a pretty day, you remember, the sun was about to set and it made the shiny fabric on the tablecloths that were spread around the individual tables set outside, sparkle just the tiniest bit. You played with it to have something to distract yourself with.

You remember too, that Jung Jaehyun and his family were at the table right in front of yours, your parents greeting each other and talking briefly. Later on the party you had watched as he listened to something his mother said to him. She was beautiful, like your own mother, and you had heard her voice before so it had been easy to imagine in what tone she was speaking. Soft and low, how warmth felt like. As to the content of her words you would never know, but it had clearly been something nice because it made her son laugh as she patted his head.

You didn’t know back then that this moment would stick with you for the years to come, for a reason that at ten years old you were just beginning to understand. But still, the weird twist in your stomach, as you started to realize that something was wrong, would be felt many more times. As you realized that your family dynamics were not as warm as the others appeared to be.

⋄

25, FEBRUARY 2018

What you and Jaehyun have turns into something hard to describe.

The line you had so clearly put between the two of you, to avoid your future, had been replaced now by acceptance and the weird feeling of navigating a relationship that It’s still a new thing, but it’s also nice enough. Especially when he sends you a silly text and jokes about something, later on commenting the same thing on one of your instagram posts. It makes you feel giddy, that you have a shared secret.

Even more when he gives you a small knowing smile across the table while your father is non stop talking about the new model the company is about to release.

It’s a small dinner to celebrate Jaehyun’s birthday, or at least as small it can be in a restaurant like this, where the waiter will look you up and down if you are not wearing your prettiest silk dress and stiletto heels.

The whole thing had been rescheduled twice, because of busy schedules and whatnot, and now that both your parents had been able to fly here, you all sit underneath lowlights and drink expensive wine that is accompanied by a conversation that is so boring that you have trouble keeping up with it.

He finds you on the rooftop, hair blowing a little as he walks to you and in the back of your mind you think it’s a crime that he looks this good in a suit. That’s probably all the wine you had talking.

“Sorry I left you alone there.” You mutter with a sympathetic smile thrown his way when he reaches you, but you both know you are not sorry at all for escaping the stupid conversation your parents were having.

He chuckles. “You leaving was just a reason for me to escape too.”

The two of you turn to look at the city, the illuminated buildings looking minuscule from here but the tiny lights from each of them make for a breathtaking view. Jaehyun stands so close to you that your arms touch. You don’t mind.

“Looking at the city like that makes me feel really small.” You whisper, without really thinking.

“That’s because we are.” You hear his voice clearly, warm like honey and you don’t try to help the smile that forms in your lips.

“How do you do it?” The question makes him look at you, raising one eyebrow. “I mean, you always sound like you got it all figured out. While I just say the most random stuff because I don’t know who I am.”

You know you are the heritage left to you, the face of your father's company, a good student, smart. One of the few socialites that have never stepped a foot out of line, according to the magazines. But take all that and what’s left?

“I don't.” He says simply, “I’m just good at pretending, like you are.”

That makes you laugh. “Good to know we are both good at playing our roles.” You say, as a joke, because you are sure the two of you are beyond the acting now.

And It’s always funny to you how the masks the both of you put on fall completely when you are alone. That’s what it means to be friends, you had realized, and that’s what you decide to call your relationship for now. Friends, from a long time, that happened to be tied together for other reasons.

And Jaehyun is a friend that sometimes makes you feel like you deserve the love you crave.

“Hey. You are ____.” He says after a second, for good measure. “That's enough, you don't have to be anything else.”

“Is it enough for you?” You ask without really thinking.

He smiles, dimples showing and your heart grows warmer. “Yeah, and we can figure it out together. Who we are and all that.”

You share a smile, both staring forward at the view and shivering a little from the night wind.

“I’m sorry for getting you into these deep conversations.”

He laughs deeply at that, with his whole body. “It’s good, don’t worry. I want you to trust me, even if you won't let me get to know you.” And you do, you want to desperately trust him and let him in. ”Because you are scared I can't handle your daddy issues or something.”

A scoff mixed with laughter leaves your lips. It’s been a long time since you were able to joke about this with someone. “It’s mommy issues, please get it right.”

He turns to you with a silly smile on his lips. “Is it because she made you take those piano classes?” He jokes and you laugh before tilting your head.

“Wait, how did you know I played the piano?” That was ages ago, finally a hobby that you enjoyed amongst the numerous other classes your mother had enrolled you in. You played it for a long time before you stopped completely for whatever reason.

“You told me, when we had to introduce ourselves and talk about things we liked in german class.” He explains. “You said you liked it, even though your mother forced you to go.”

You turn to him now as it strikes you that Jung Jaehyun remembered you from his childhood the same way you remembered him. Not the same things, but still memories. The thought is so comforting that you can’t hold the way your cheeks move up in a smile.

“What about you?” You question. “What things did you say you liked?”

“Hmm, I don't really remember.” Is what he says with a shrug.

You two share a look, perhaps meaningful but maybe that's the wine making you feel on cloud 9 under his gaze.  “What do you like now?”

He chuckles as if your interest is amusing. “I like… music, getting coffee with friends. That kind of thing.”

“Not cars?” You joke, making him laugh. You decide then that you like making him do it.

“I mean, a little.” He replies playfully, and it’s very easy to be comfortable like this.

It’s good to know after all this time Jaehyun was like you, even if you felt alone in the world sometimes. That’s what a soulmate must be after all, not the missing piece to make you whole but someone that makes you realize exactly that you don't have to be.

“We should get coffee together sometime.” You offer after some time, a gentle smile being shared between you two in laziness, at the thought of soon having to return to the restaurant and popping out of the bubble you have started creating for yourself.

“We should.” He says, and the bubble stays afloat a little longer.

⋄

JULY 2019

It’s another charity Gala, with sparkly lights, champagne, fake smiles and a dress too tight. Everything is the way it always had been, except for you.

And Jaehyun, whose hand stays on your waist as he guides you through a slow song. He had wanted to dance, said he always thought it was nice when lovers did it in movies.

Lovers. The mere use of the word had made your heart somersault in your chest, but you kept it down. Instead, you move with him with soft smiles adorning both of your faces.

Your hand finds his cheeks. Nothing could describe the look you give him in the light but pure admiration. And you don’t care if anyone sees it,  you don’t care if it ends up in a magazine spread. Because even if everybody knew about it, this is yours.

The way he brings his hand on top of yours, and how his eyes match the exact look on yours. Every little detail about it makes you know that this right here belongs to the two of you and nothing can change it.

“Jaehyun?” Your voice is low, almost inaudible underneath the music and conversation echoing through the ballroom. “I don't want to be here anymore.”

His eyebrows raise at your confession, steps faltering for a second as he loses the rhythm “What? We can leave right now if you want.” He offers. “I came with my own car, so we can-“

Your soft laughter interrupts his words. “No, I don't mean right now.” You explain, swallowing around your next words. “I meant.. I don't want to keep playing a role, I want to go somewhere with you where no one knows us.”

A smile grows on his lips, one that tells you that he understands exactly what you mean. And you don’t have to guess anymore, there are no more maybes. You know.

“Okay, we can do that.”

He pulls you closer, dance now long forgotten as you just move in complete muscle memory.

“I want to find out.” You confess in a whisper. A secret between the two of you that no one else would ever know.  “I want to go somewhere with you and find out.”

You wonder if he already found the answer to it, to what love is. But you also don't need to know right now, because you will know when you have to. Either way you want to find out  and it's not for you to guess.

He smiles genuinely at you, with his dimples showing, like he always smiles at you.

You smile back, heart aching from something that can only be only be explained by years of shared stories, and in your mind, deeper connections that go beyond what everything and everyone inside this ballroom would understand.

You smile back, in the exact way you have always smiled at him.

⋄

APRIL 2020

A ray of sun peeks from the half closed curtains and set right above your eyes, getting you to wake up lazily and slowly. It takes you a while to come to it, the sheets on the bed just now starting to feel truly familiar with the warmth left on the bed, from someone that had probably gotten up just a little before from you.

You blink once and twice before your eyes are completely open, vision still unfocused but it slowly comes back as you stare at the bedside table. A lip balm is the first thing you see, then your phone and lastly a picture framed of you and Jaehyun hugging in front of the sunflower field at the Van Gogh museum. He’s laughing, at something said by the kind fellow tourist that had offered to take your picture, and you have the beginning of a smile on your own lips. One that you mimic perfectly now as you remember that day.

Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the door opening and Jaehyun walks in the bedroom, holding a bowl. His eyes are still drowsy and his hair a mess but you  think he looks right at home. Because he is.

“Morning, baby.” His voice is low and raspy, but enough to make you melt even more on the sheets.

“Good morning.” The smile settles fully on your lips now.

He sits on the bed next to you then, almost drowning inside his large t-shirt and hair plopping cutely when he tries moving even closer to place the bowl with sliced fruits on your lap. “We gotta add apples to the shopping list.” Is all he says and you nod while picking a slice of melon and chewing it leisurely as you bask on the hazy feeling of still being half asleep

Jaehyun stays by your side, head weirdly pressed to your chest, and asking silently for you to feed him apple slices every now and then with just his mouth opening.

Your mind wanders as you eat and then you’re having one of those moments where realization dawns on you finally. A silly small thing that makes you smile and your chest grow warm. “Jaehyun?” You call out softly, fighting back the bubble of happiness that forms on your chest because old habits are hard to die.

“Hmm?” He looks up at you, eyes blinking at you in the same way he always does, but this time it makes you want to cry a little bit.

You lean down, press a quick peck to his lips that make you both smile and then the words are out of your mouth.

“This is what love is.”

#here she is! #cant wait to hear what you guys think about it #works #commission #neowritingsnet #nct smut #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenario

[skiesofthesketchy]

Midsummers

Pairing: JJ Maybank x kook!reader

Summary: You drag a poor, unsuspecting stranger to be apart of your little scheme, but JJ doesn’t mind all that much. 

Note: Yoooooo how are you guys? This fic is dedicated to my bff @rafej-cambanks​ bc it is her birthday today!! Go send her some love! I figured this might be a nice lil surprise bc it is 1 of the maybe 2 unpublished fics that you haven’t read yet lol. Anyway, I love you SO MUCH and hope you like this :)

Still working on blurbs for my 1k celebration! Sit tight, they will be coming soon :)

Warnings: language, hella fluff, uhhhh yea Word Count: 4k

gif by @toesure​

***

Standing in front of the full-length mirror and gazing at your reflection, you couldn’t keep a straight face. The pretty emerald fabric of your dress adorned your figure perfectly, considering the thousands of dollars your mother spent on it plus having it tailored to fit you so. The hem fell to your ankles, showing off your expensive six inch heels and perfectly painted toenails. Your jewelry consisted of a simple diamond necklace and matching earrings, the sparkle adding to your already glowing complexion. You assumed your makeup would look cakey, but it actually looked quite flawless. That’s what you get when your mother hires a professional to do your makeup and hair for the most prestigious Kook party of the year.

Midsummers. Tonight was the night every Kook family planned for months beforehand, and then talked about the months following after. The party where rich socialites gather to brag about their wealth and successes over lobster and expensive champagne, playing fake nice to uphold their own powerful and pleasant reputations. You hated Midsummers with every fiber of your being, but alas, it was the one event you couldn’t get out of, and you had to attend. 

You bubbled with laughter as you gazed at your appearance, hardly looking like yourself at all. A silly flower crown in your hair and an elegant dress that could probably pay for a trip to Europe. “So this is the daughter my parents have always wanted,” you sighed, coming out of your laughing fit. 

Your parents never really understood you. All they ever wanted was for you to be their perfect princess, hanging out with other Kooks, going shopping, finding a suitable boyfriend from a wealthy family, you know, the whole shabang. And of course, keeping your grades up at the academy so that you can one day work for your father’s multi-million dollar company. It was what all Kooks expect from their kids, but you weren’t about that lifestyle.

Sure, you were grateful for your comfy upbringing, but you couldn’t care less about any of that stuff. You just wanted to have fun, travel the world, figure out who you are. You’d jump off a cliff before you had to be tied down to this boring, money-obsessed world that your parents live in. 

With a quick wink to your alter-ego in the mirror, you sauntered out of the large bathroom, your heels clacking on the white marble floors. You made your way to the extravagant lobby area of the Island Club, staying close to the wall in order to not be noticed. Your parents were thankfully already at the party outside, but there was still someone you were trying to avoid: the pathetic boy your parents had set you up with. 

He really wasn’t that bad, just boring like every other Kook boy your age. Only caring about parties, drugs, and tormenting the Pogues on the island. According to your parents though, he was a “suitable young man” because his parents were wealthy and respected on Figure Eight. 

You spotted your date, Topper Thornton, leisurely scrolling on his phone, his other hand in his pocket. He was waiting for you so that you two could walk down the glorious staircase into the party together. It was tradition for ladies to be escorted down the steps, which is exactly why your mother took finding an escort for you into her own hands. The stupid tradition made you gag. You didn’t need a pretty boy to escort you into a lame-ass party, and that’s why you were hiding from him.

With Topper’s gaze fixed on his phone, you took this opportunity to slip through the large room and onto the balcony, the party happening just down the stairs. With a sigh, you started your descent down the staircase, taking in the scene in front of you. There were pretty lights hung up around the huge tent covering the dining area. People were dressed to the nines, champagne flutes in hand as they giggled and chatted to one another. The live band played classy music while some couples danced, and staff members ran around serving drinks to the attendees. 

Casually walking down the last few steps, that’s when you noticed your parents watching you, and you grinned brightly at them. You knew ditching your date for the grand entrance would piss them off, which is mostly why you did it, and it was confirmed by the sour expressions on their faces.

“Mom. Dad. You guys look great!” you smiled. Your mother only scowled in response. 

“Y/N! What on earth are you doing? Where’s the Thornton boy?” She spoke through her perfect teeth clenched in a fake smile, trying not to draw attention from others. 

You shrugged. “I dunno. Great party though,” you said nonchalantly as your eyes wandered, obviously not bothered by the disappointing looks your parents were giving you. 

“You know your mother wanted you to walk in on a man’s arm,” your dad said. He was trying to console your mom by rubbing her back soothingly. She was not taking this well, her chest rising and falling rapidly in anger. She wanted to yell at you, but wouldn’t dare to make a scene with all of these people around. 

You rolled your eyes. “Why do I have to be escorted by some boy? That tradition is dumb, and sexist, quite frankly.” 

“Y/N, you’re embarrassing us!” your mom whisper-yelled. Her eyes were wide and her lips twisted in displeasure. She’s more pissed than you thought she’d be, and you smiled. “You couldn’t have done this one thing for us? Why can’t you go one night without embarrassing your family?”

“You’re being dramatic,” you sighed. You loved pushing their buttons. They have to figure out you don’t want to live in this Kook bubble for the rest of your life sooner or later. It sucks that they aren’t accepting of who you are and only want you to be their little Kook Princess, but that has never kept you down for long. 

“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” your dad warned in a low voice. You scoffed.

“Tell me why you ditched your date,” your mom whispered, the anger still apparent even with how quietly she spoke. 

“I ditched him because I already have a boyfriend, Mom.” You didn’t really have a boyfriend, but the lie rolled off your tongue easily. Lying to your parents was something you did quite often, and not just to get away with the stupid shit you do sometimes. It was fun to mess with them. They get so upset over silly things, especially your mom. 

A smirk found its way to your mother's face, and you knew she didn’t buy it. “Oh yeah? Then where is he?” You weren’t going to give her the satisfaction of catching you in your lie, especially if it meant she’d make you walk back up those damn steps just to retrieve Topper and do the whole entrance all over again. 

You were already disinterested in this conversation, but you couldn’t just walk away now. Your eyes wandered the party briefly, and that’s when you spotted a waiter heading in your direction. He didn’t seem too busy at the moment, no drinks or plates of food in hand, so the gears in your head started turning. Before you could even second guess your plan, you were stopping the boy’s strides by grabbing his hand and dragging him to the spot next to you in front of your parents.

“Right here,” you said. “Mom. Dad. Meet my boyfriend.” An innocent smile graced your lips as you stared at your parents, awaiting their reactions. You were happy to see surprise and displeasure taking over their features, and the blonde boy next to you looked just the same. You ignored him though and the way he turned to you with confusion dancing in his eyes. You didn’t even care if the stranger went along with it. Even if he walked off and this all blew up in your face, the shock on your mom’s face right now has already made it worth it. You found it all fucking hilarious.

Registering the silence and how nobody seemed to know what to do, you turned your smiling face towards the boy, squeezing his hand in yours and trying not to laugh at this whole situation. You finally noticed his beautiful blue eyes and the way they seemed to ask you what the hell is going on. You shot him a wink, and after quickly scanning your face, something in him seemed to change.

“Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N. It’s so great to finally meet you.” The boy had turned his attention back to your parents, and reached to shake your father’s hand. You couldn’t help the happiness that swelled up inside of you. He’s actually going along with your idiotic plan to piss your parents off even more.

Your other hand came up to rest on the boy’s bicep as you watched him shake your dad’s hand. Your dad couldn’t form words as he looked at the waiter you clung to. Your mom had plastered on one of her brilliant fake smiles after a few seconds, and nodded her head in acknowledgement. 

This was almost too good to be true. You didn’t know the boy standing next to you, but considering he was part of the staff, he had to be a Pogue. Your parents never allowed you to hang out with Pogues before, so you could only imagine their fury after learning you were dating one. You only caught a quick glance at the blonde, but you noticed the bruises on his face and the cut on his lip. You didn’t know his story, but you knew your parents only saw him as a trouble-making Pogue, and his beat up face only made it better. Not to mention you were in the middle of the biggest party of the year. Your parents wouldn’t dare do anything to make a scene, not here. Sure, you’d be getting an earful at home later, but you were already basking in the pleasure of seeing them so utterly angry and not being able to show it.

“And what’s your name, young man?” your dad asked. 

“JJ Maybank, sir.” You turned your gaze to the boy again, and he smiled charmingly at your parents. “I’ve heard lots about you both, from your lovely daughter here.” He suddenly turned to face you again, the same cute smile on his lips, and released your hand to instead wrap his arm around your waist. Fuck, he’s doing a great job at playing along even though you dragged him into this mess that he had no business being in. You were loving every second of this. 

The way your mom was struggling to keep her calm composure had laughter bubbling in your chest, but you kept your lips shut tight to hold it in. “JJ,” she said through clenched teeth. “Are you working the party?” As polite as she was trying to be, her distasteful glance at his work attire didn’t go unnoticed by anyone. 

JJ wasn’t disheartened by her question, and only smiled bigger. “Yes ma’am, I work at the Island Club for such events. I also deliver groceries and mow lawns. But don’t worry. I still make plenty of time to take Y/N out on dates and treat her like the princess she is.” You found his gaze once again, and you swear you could kiss him. He’s really milking this whole encounter with your parents and you promised yourself to thank him later. 

“Oh, that’s nice,” your dad responded for your mother. She was practically seething underneath that perfect mask of hers, but your father looked quite uncomfortable as well. And here you thought Midsummers would be boring. 

You listened in on the awkward conversation a few minutes more before you spoke up. “I’m glad you guys finally met, but we’re gonna go now. Enjoy the party!” You grinned one last time at your parents before grabbing JJ’s hand and dragging him away, leaving them to simmer in their shock and anger without you.

You had made it all the way to the other side of the dance floor before you burst out laughing. Giggles poured out of you loudly, and JJ couldn’t help but join in. You didn’t even care how awkward that whole situation was, you found it absolutely hilarious and you were happy to see that JJ seemed to think so too. “Thanks for playing along with that, man,” you smiled. “I totally owe you.”

JJ Maybank was confused to say the least. He caught on to your little plan and used his superb improv skills to play along, but he didn’t really know why. He’d never met you before, and couldn’t possibly figure out why you would claim him as your boyfriend. And though you two had never met, he knew exactly who you were. Everyone did. You were Y/N Y/L/N. Your parents were among the richest Kooks on the whole island, and you were their perfect Kook Princess. Why on earth would you ever tell them that he was your boyfriend? He was a low-life Pogue. None of it made any sense. 

He wanted to ask you for an explanation, but he was too caught up in the moment with you. He had never seen you up close before, and had to admit he found you intriguingly beautiful. Your eyes gleaming as your whole face lit up, your dress showing off your nice figure and complimenting you perfectly, even the giggles escaping your lips screamed beauty. He had his mind made up about you, thinking you’re no different than every other rich girl on the island, but now he’s not so sure. From the moment you abruptly grabbed his hand, he could tell you didn’t give a fuck about anything. You seemed fun.

“Do you always try to freak your parents out like that?” he asked with a laugh. 

You chuckled too with a nod. “Yeah. They’re too comfy in their dumb Kook lifestyle, so I like to scare them every once in a while.” You looked up at him with your pretty smile, and he could only smile back. Your words suddenly made him like being in your presence a whole lot more. 

He watched as you messed with your flower crown, the flowers getting caught in your hair as you unceremoniously pulled it off of your head. “Stupid fucking flower crown...” you mumbled before tossing it off to the side on the ground. JJ laughed at your messed up hair, but reached his hands up to fix it for you. You couldn’t care less about what you looked like, which he found odd about you, but you enjoyed the feeling of his fingers running through your hair, patting down the wild strands. 

You took this opportunity to really look at him. His blonde hair was messy and the locks fell over his forehead. The bruises marking his face did little to hide how attractive he was, the cut on his lip seemed to make him even more attractive to you. Even his work uniform was tattered and wrinkled, but he still managed to look good in it. He finished messing with your hair and tucked a strand behind your ear, eyes meeting yours, and neither of you could hide your curious smiles. “Thanks,” you hummed. He only nodded in response.

Your eyes wandered as you tried to figure out what to say, but you caught sight of Topper bounding down the staircase, his gaze searching through the party, probably for you. “Shit,” you muttered under your breath, grabbing JJ’s shoulders and positioning him in front of you. You stepped closer to him as you peaked your head over his shoulder to keep your eyes on the Kook you ditched.

“Hiding from someone?” JJ asked, looking down at you with amusement. 

You nodded. “Just the guy my parents tried to set me up with. I may or may not have ditched him,” you laughed sheepishly. Maybe you should’ve felt bad, but you didn’t.

JJ spared a glance over his shoulder. “Which one of these unlucky bastards was it?” 

You giggled, still trying to hide your frame completely behind JJ. “Topper Thornton. Frosted Tips. Looks like a lost puppy.”

JJ laughed and you could practically feel the warm vibrations from his chest. His pretty eyes met yours again, and he surprised you by wrapping his arm around your waist while his other hand found yours, bringing the pair of you into a waltz position. A smile tugged on your lips as you placed your other hand on his broad shoulder, and you both began to sway. 

JJ never pictured himself in this position before. Slow dancing with you, the Kook Princess of all people, at the Kookiest party of the year no less. He felt a strange sense of pride knowing that you had ditched Topper and are instead dancing with him. Being this close to you, he found himself trying to memorize your features, the color of your eyes, the softness of your hand in his, and the enticing curve of your waist which he had the pleasure of holding onto. 

“So,” JJ spoke softly. “What do you normally do when you’re not attending fancy parties and pissing off your parents?” He didn’t know why, but he wanted to find out more about you. You’re already quite different than what he made you out to be.

“Getting into more trouble,” you responded with a wink. 

He chuckled. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

You shrugged. “Last month, I ran off to Cuba for a week without telling anyone.” You didn’t think it was a big deal, but you noticed the waves of surprise in JJ’s eyes. You giggled at his expression. “What about you? When you’re not serving drinks, delivering groceries, or mowing lawns,” you paused to admire the bruises on his face. “What do you do?”

“Get into trouble,” he laughed, shooting your words back at you. 

You played along. “Oh yeah? Like what?” You don’t know when it happened, but you realized now that you guys were closer than before. Your chest was pressed into his, and his face was so close you could kiss him with the slightest lift onto your toes. 

“Picking fights with your Kooky friends, usually,” he chuckled. 

“If you’re referring to Topper and his goons, we’re not friends.” JJ’s lips lifted into a small smile at your words. If he wasn’t mistaken, you were about as fond of those assholes as he was. 

You both were just staring at each other, choosing to put the small talk to rest and just enjoy the moment. JJ’s eyes never left yours as you brought both of your arms around his neck, leaving him to wrap his arms around your back, diminishing any space there was between your bodies. You thought he might’ve kissed you with the way his gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips, but he didn’t. Instead, his hands found yours and he spun you around so that your back was against him, your arms crossed over your body as you continued to sway. 

His lips hovered over your neck briefly, and you released a sigh, trying to remember the last time you felt so close to someone, so content and in the moment. Something about the boy holding you in his arms gave you butterflies, that warm and exciting feeling spreading through your veins. He suddenly released one of your hands and pushed you so that you were spinning away from him, but then caught you and pulled you back.

You giggled as he twirled you around the dance floor, pleasantly surprised at how good of a dancer he was. Staying hidden from Topper wasn’t even on your mind anymore. With his grip on both of your hands, you both spun around, making the other dancing patrons have to move out of the way. Your laugh bubbled louder, and you couldn’t care less about the other guests. JJ found himself laughing along with you, even though part of him still wondered why he was here, dancing and having fun with you. 

After a moment, he pulled you back against him and you both fought to catch your breaths while the laughter died down. He admired your features again, and the question he’s been dying to ask finally escaped passed his lips. “How come you’re not embarrassed to be seen with me?” He didn’t mean it to sound so insecure, he was rather genuinely curious.

Your brows furrowed slightly in confusion, your grin turning into a frown. “Why would I be embarrassed?”

He scoffed lightly. “Come on, Y/N. We’re from two different worlds.” His eyes wandered for a second, noticing the amount of eyes on the two of you, probably floored at the scene you guys had just made. “Everyone is watching. The Kook Princess dancing with a Pogue...” He didn’t mean to bring down the mood, but he couldn’t help it. He was used to being dismissed, used to being viewed as a disgusting Pogue that only got into trouble. 

You brought your hands up to brush his hair away from his face, your bright smile returning. Your hands then cupped his cheeks, your thumb gently brushing over his split lip. “I don’t give a fuck about these people.” JJ chuckled, feeling his spirits lift once again. Your fingers dragged down his neck and landed on his collar, which you straightened for him. 

“You know,” you started, eyes fixed on the buttons of his white shirt. “I expected tonight to be the absolute worst, but I’m actually having an amazing time.” You peered up at him through your lashes, and JJ smiled. 

“Oh yeah?” he smirked, his usual flirty persona returning. “And why is that?”

You giggled, deciding to humor him. “I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my handsome fake boyfriend has some damn good dance moves,” you winked. Your chest became warm at the sound of JJ’s deep chuckle, his breath fanning over your face.

Among the many judgy looks the pair of you were getting, your parents were also watching from a nearby table. JJ noticed their burning glares, and an idea popped into his head. Gazing into your pretty eyes, he smirked with a nod of his head to the side. When you glanced over and was greeted with the sight of your very angry parents, a grin creeped onto your face. You were making quite the spectacle, but really, who cares? “Want to give them something to be really pissed about?” JJ asked.

You looked at him curiously, but nodded nonetheless. You were already thrilled with how the night was going, and wondered what else he could possibly have up his sleeve. He leaned forward and suddenly, his lips were on yours. Your surprise was soon washed away and you allowed yourself to melt into the kiss, arching your back to press your chest into him. 

His hand rested on the back of your neck, pulling you in even closer as you both indulged in one another. His other large hand squeezed your hip, and you squealed softly against his lips. After a few more seconds, you pulled away from each other, gleaming smiles on your faces. Yeah, that sure made your parents fucking livid. Your mother had excused herself from the table they were sitting at, and your father followed after her, but you weren’t paying attention to them. 

JJ had rested his palms on your cheeks, just looking at you, and he knew then that he wouldn’t be able to get you off of his mind no matter how hard he tried. Your hands gripped his wrists, and you felt sad for a moment, thinking about how JJ probably needs to get back to work. He needs to get back to his life, and you need to get back to yours. “I’ll see you around, JJ?” You held your breath, hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw him.

He kissed you once more, short and sweet, before pulling away again with a smirk. “Definitely.” And with that, he made his way back through the party and into the building while you watched, not being able to hide your giddy grin.

***

Pls let me know what you think :) love you all

Masterlist

***

Obx tags: @sportygal55​ @jazbarnes05 @lovelogan @lannxyz @caseyabel28 @falling-perfectly @thisismynerdyself @mattelblake @justanotherbooklover @hemmingsness @queenofthepouges @dontjinx-it @pink-meringues @outerbnx-stiles @little-miss-rebel3  @shreckluver7​

JJ tags:  @kaylinfayezink​ @unfortunatekiwitrash​ @shy-1234​ @bijleegiregi​ @cheshirecat107​ @yami5525​  @folkloverr​ @dracoswhore007​

#skiesofthesketchy #outer banks #obx #jj maybank #jj x reader #outer banks fic #jj maybank x reader #rudy pankow #jj x kook!reader #obx fic #obx imagine #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fic #midsummers

[allaboardtheussharringrove]

So @billy-baby mentioned That 70’s Show and Harringrove, and it reminded me of a *whole ass* set of hc’s about a 70’s/Stranger Things AU that has been sitting in my notes for literal years collecting dust, so here it is:

-Billy & Hyde would be besties, probably neighbours in the same shitty neighbourhood

-They headbang to hard rock and metal, jam to 60’s & 70’s rock while drinking TONS of beer and hotboxing the Camaro and El Camino, respectively

-Bands they’d have in common: AC/DC, Black Sabbath & Ozzy Osbourne, Scorpions, KISS, Judas Priest, Van Halen, and Led Zeppelin just to name a couple

-Hyde always gives Billy shit for like, never wearing a shirt, Billy gives Hyde shit for his ever-present sunglasses & sideburns

-They know each other’s parental problems, and take refuge in the Forman’s basement/the empty Harrington house (yes, we’re talkin’ a Hawkins, Indiana/Point Place, Wisconsin mashup here)

-Billy still has a major crush on Steve (Harrington that is, Steven Hyde will only be referred to as Hyde [and that possible name mix-up could cause some hilarity whenever anyone calls out “Steven”, and some embarrassing rumour drama for Billy, Steve, & Hyde (or omg a block party at the Formans where Kitty calls out “William! Steven! Michael!” And she turns around and has Billy, Will, Hyde, Steve, Mike, and Kelso starting at her expectantly)])

-Billy probably also thinks Eric and Kelso are kinda cute, but total dumbasses, they both definitely annoy him

-Fez would have a totally awkward and hilarious crush on Billy, and you just know Billy would flirt with him on purpose just to make him nervous (this might make Steve a lil jealous and annoy him to no end)

-Jackie would have the BIGGEST crush on Steve, after Kelso, and drag him around to go shopping and shit, he would tolerate it but Billy would absolutely hate her as a “bitchy rich entitled snot-nosed brat” cause she would be vocal about him being poor and he’d have to be calmed down by Hyde and Steve all the time

-Billy would give Hyde an unimaginable amount of shit for going out with Jackie, hooo boy!

-Steve would get a kick outta Kelso, but I think he and Eric would be pretty close friends, with Steve always pushing to hang around at the Forman’s cause Eric’s parents are always present, as opposed to his empty house (he adores Kitty Forman for SURE as the mother he never had)

-But the gang would surely hold parties at the Harrington’s....and only sometimes get away with it (both these groups are known for their KEGS! and the 70’s teens would lose their damn minds over Keg Kings Billy & Steve)

-Billy would put the charm on for Kitty sometimes just to see her blush, and Red would get annoyed and just a little threatening saying something like “Like to see how charming you are with my foot up your ass” and Billy being the abused kid that he is automatically takes it a little too seriously- probably flinches, goes a little pale, stutters out a “Yes sir, sorry sir”

-This would make Kitty and Red a bit concerned, pay a visit to the Hargrove household- I wouldn’t be surprised if they experience Neil putting Billy down or catch a glimpse of a smack or something and they would for sure take action with Red intimidating Neil cause you know he could

-Anyway! Girls. Robin and Donna would be THE BEST FRIENDS EVER, cause Donna had no other cool girl friend to hang out with and you just KNOW Robin might have an “itsy bitsy” (huge) crush on Donna, cause she’s Hot Donna, also they’re both super into female empowerment (and honestly, when Donna/Eric break up I could see her maybe falling for Robin too)

-Donna and Billy would be buds, she might like him for a hot minute but be cool with him being gay (Out of everyone in the 70’s gang, I think he’d most likely share this with her - cause she’d probably figure it out - even if it’s just to gush about their dumb, brave, pretty brunette boys to each other)

-Max would LOVE Donna, not just because of the hair (but also redhead solidarity is important), but because they’re both badasses and would totally vibe together- Max, Billy, and Donna would be an unexpectedly fun trio (and Billy would complain about having to drive the “GingeTwins” around all the time or something to that effect)

-And Jackie having to babysit Erica (because Donna does it sometimes, but she’s out for the night) would be the best thing ever good lord, Erica would put Jackie in her place, but they’d probably make up some schemes together too

-Also Erica would be absolutely appalled at having a similar name to Eric, she’d probably call him something along the lines of “Supreme Nerd” or “King of the Nerds” and have an endless supply of unimpressed looks for him during their debates of whose name is better

-Eric would totally join Mike, Will, Lucas & Dustin in their nerd exploits (STAR WARS!) And he and Dustin would get into loooong nerd debates

-I think Kelso would join Dustin & Lucas (and maybe the other boys too) in doing mischievous experiments including but not limited to: pyrotechnics, wrist rockets, radios and electronics... He’d begrudgingly listen to the scientific explanations of the boys (which would all fly right over his head) and they would have a moderate success rate, but also have to run away from the trouble they’d get in

-Lucas and Hyde would always be cool, but after finding out about Hyde’s biological dad they could become closer (Hyde’s dad and Lucas would have the best banter)

-Will and Eric would geek out over comics, and I think Eric would be super nice/supportive about seeing Will’s drawings

-Jonathan would be pretty quiet at first, but might talk to Fez since they’re both kinda the odd man out in each group (and he’d be genuinely NICE to Fez, *side eyes 70’s teens*)- then he’d be roped into doing random/stupid/mildly illegal stuff with the gang

-And despite Billy & Hyde being besties, I think Jonathan would bond with Hyde over shitty dads (plus I think Hyde would love Joyce, and she’d be another offer of refuge for him & Billy) and WEED WEED WEED

-Actually that might definitely be a sub-trio: Jonathan, Billy, & Hyde- they’d all have each other’s backs when it came to family drama (and later on when Hyde gets his record store, he’d offer them both jobs and Jonathan would be over the fuckin’ moon and work there)

-Billy would for sure work for Red in his muffler shop, and Red would take him under his wing, probably unwittingly become the father figure Billy never had.

-Nancy, hmmm, well she’s on the richer side of town so her and Jackie might be friends? but she’d for sure get annoyed with Jackie’s shallow bullshit

-OH and Robin would also hate Jackie I think, ‘cause of her entitlement and relentless obsession with boys (poor Jackie, I’m not setting her up for anything great here huh)

-So that’d be why Steve is friends with her, if only ‘cause he feels bad when she alienates herself from the rest of the teens, they (and I hate to say this) *could possibly* date for like 5 minutes, it’d be a REALLY hard time for Billy...and Kelso. And those two would probably come up with some hairbrained scheme to break them up (and succeed, but each get ripped a new one because of it)

-But at least the group of teen girls would be bigger if Donna, Robin, Jackie, and Nancy all hung out together sometimes (and if they tried to have a sleepover or something there would be toooo many idiot boys trying to creep on them, I think Billy would be the voice of reason and tell them they’re all being dickheads)

-And he’d give Fez a fuck ton of shit for being such a voyeuristic creep, probably make him stop hiding in people closets (wait what? Fez is like constantly coming out of closets in that show?! hello?? is that a thing??? Oh ho-ho they’d have a whole talk about that)

-Steve would get a kick outta Fez, probably think he was the funniest dude on the planet, as I’d say they’re the goofballs of the group (and yes, I am mostly excluding the King Steve narrative from this and using only cool mom Steve, cool? cool.)

-Steve might also have a lil crush on Donna, (‘cause a strong personality and blue eyes is like his kink, we all know this) but Eric would throw a fit about that and then they’d be all buddy-buddy discussing Donna & Billy (I think Eric being kind of a dumbass about his own gay kiss might put Steve off for a bit [and make Billy super hesitant and real pissed], but I also think Eric would be cool with hearing Steve out about his big bisexuality-discovery-adventure)

-Donna and Eric trying set Steve and Billy up by saying they’re all gonna hang out, and then like locking Billy/Steve in a room together or something and leaving😈

-When Billy/Steve’s relationship comes out, Hyde’s reaction is probably “That’s cool, man” Kelso would make some corny statement about how hot *he* is, Fez would probably fangirl over it with big ole heart eyes, Jackie would be like “weird, whatever”, Kitty would get flustered and then overly excited about it after a while, Red would be uncomfortable but okay with it saying something like “I better not catch you two dumbasses doing anything in my house”

-Ohmygod, Red as a father figure to Billy, Kitty as a mother figure to Steve, and they end up being so supportive of the boys ‘cause they have to put up with so much parental shit (say what you want, but the Formans have compassion) and they convert their house/backyard into a little private prom for the whole gang just so Billy/Steve can dance together and be themselves

-Billy, Steve, and Robin would die laughing every time they saw/talked to Leo. And I feel like Robin would talk her way into a job at the Photo Hut and then just end up being the manager and hires Jonathan herself to do the developments

-And you know how Hyde is always punching Kelso in the arm? Well he’d always get one, and Billy would punch the other arm as he’d classify Kelso a special kind of idiot, they’d always be teasing Kelso together, but Billy (and Steve I’m sure) would have some wicked BURNS that Kelso would love

-Steve and Kelso as friends? Sure, pretty boys gotta stick together~ especially when Steve gets called that by Billy, and then Kelso insists he’s a prettier boy, and Billy either rolls his eyes or flirts aggressively cause Kelso doesn’t understand WHY that’s Steve’s nickname, and it’s a whole can of worms you guys

-(And I didn’t forget about El, I’m just not quite sure where she fits in this AU... she probably doesn’t have powers and is the new kid who moves into town cause of a bad home life, she’d befriend Max in school and then I think Donna would take her under wing, then she’d be a hit with the teen gang cause she’d break her quietness with witty comments/one-liners, and since she’s very intuitive still, she gravitates towards Billy & Hyde and there would be some touching heart-to-hearts about shitty parental situations followed immediately after by inappropriate offers of beer to which she responds with a firm “gross”)

-And finally, *the Circle* would be so much bigger and funnier with the Stranger Teens in it

#harringrove #that 70’s show #stranger things #billy hargrove #steve harrington #steven hyde #donna pinciotti #eric forman #robin buckley #jackie burkhart #michael kelso #fez #johnathan byers #nancy wheeler #Stranger 70’s Things #no upside down tho just teen sitcom #ahhhh my hc’s these are just my brain rambles so like do with them what you will 🤷‍♀️ #I really love both these shows so #in high school kids always said I was like donna lmao❤️ #long post #😬 #oh! and someone be nice to Jackie for me? I dunno how I could not get her into a good spot among the gang🤔 #excessive use of parentheses

[harvestdew]

pls will u ever elaborate on kiki's backstory im dying to know what on earth is going on there

yeah i was like wow i’m gonna be so cool and mysterious and NOT tell anyone not even my friends what’s going on with kiki til i pump out my comics because i thought it’d be better that way? but school saps the energy from me so idk why i expected to get comics out in a timely manner when comics take a lot of time. i also feel bad because i’ve had multiple people go like “WHAT the fuck is going” so i’ll just tell you all as a little 500 followers treat so you guys don’t misunderstand and think she’s a murderer

also if you ever want to hear me talk about my oc’s more you can always come to my livestreams (i stream my stardew valley gameplay w/ friends or when i draw)!

disclaimer: this will be long. it’s complicated, if you’re more confused just send me another ask and i’ll elaborate, and i’ll split it into 3 sections! i’m so sorry

childhood - after kiki’s parents divorced, she chose to stay with her dad, her mom remarried to a rich CEO (more on this later), whatever. her dad dies in an accident, but instead of being passed over to her mom, kiki got sent to pelican town to live with her grandpa on her dad’s side when she was 13. i think at this time haley is too young for her to hang out with because i always thought she was younger than kiki BUT sebastian is her age and they’re actually put in the same class

kiki struggles with acclimating to pelican town because she’s a) grieving b) joining the class in the dead middle of the year so everyone thinks she’s a loser LOL. i guess sebastian felt really bad for her cuz he finds her crying outside once of class and gives her like his juice or something out of pity. they end up becoming friends though, and by extension, she becomes friends with sam and abigail. she hangs out with sebastian the most though, plus they’re kinda neighbors so robin was used to her stopping by constantly out of convenience

unfortunately kiki only spends 2 years in pelican town because her grandpa died, but before he does he gives her the envelope like in the intro of stardew valley and tells her not to open it. everything goes downhill for her at this point because it means she has to move back in with her mom. kiki knows that her mom has 0 attachment to stardew valley so the only way she thinks she can really keep in contact with everyone is writing them letters which sounds pretty infallible at first

anyway i may or may not have taken inspo from an e ve MV here because childhood friends parting makes me really sad

teenage years up to early 20s - around this time surprise her mom is (surprise) awful. by this i mean her mom literally married a chairman at joja corp., enrolled kiki in private school, and tried to siphon any connection she had to her dad, grandpa, and stardew valley by substituting it with her new life in zuzu city. not to mention kiki’s step-sister irene who i’m going to design lately hopefully (?) also loves making her miserable only because she hates kiki’s mom 

the only thing that makes city life bearable for her is frequent letters from her friends, most often (if it wasn’t obvious again) sebastian. daelin told me he probably sent her emo poetry and i think that’s literally SO funny but even then the letters don’t last that long because within a few months her mom decides the letters are getting in the way of her kid’s success and starts throwing them out before kiki gets them or sends her own. naturally she thinks sebastian just doesn’t give a fuck about her so she stops writing after a while. but then this makes HIM think she doesn’t give a fuck about him and he holds a grudge against her for it for years even though she has no idea

then kiki forgets about stardew valley since there seems to be nothing else tying her to it, goes to business school, and eventually gets as a job in PR at joja corp. if that’s not bad enough she gets engaged to a MAN she doesn’t even like. her fiance is someone who manipulated her into dating him which i’ll again elaborate on in a second, plus her mom is obsessed with him like ohhh big handsome man WHATEVER except he literally only wants to marry her because her step-dad is a chairman. but kiki’s absolute breaking point (which i’m still kinda hashing out and only have a vague idea of) is when she figures out her fiance orchestrated a PR disaster by logging into her computer and messing a bunch of stuff up (idk if i should do hacking or whatever) so she gets blamed, only to take blame/save the day for the thing he LITERALLY started so she could feel indebted to him enough to date him. at this point she feels so suffocated by her life in zuzu city that she contemplates running away, so while packing she finds grandpa’s letter and decides to run away to stardew valley

present - i know the missing person stuff didn’t make sense but i hope everything i explained kinda gives you more context? her mom put out a missing person notice and her peers/family from zuzu city are still looking for her. this is partly why she doesn’t have a phone when she moves in, she tries to pawn her engagement ring off to clint for extra gold, and refuses to have pictures of her taken by haley for the first few weeks of their friendship. ofc when kiki goes back, she is escorted by robin, talks to lewis, etc. whatever is in the official intro and it’s kinda standard but on her way to pierre’s for cleaning supplies she accidentally runs into sebastian and realizes he hates her guts and has no idea why because he literally won’t tell her. the idea of childhood friends to strangers is really fun to write imo and then the story persists from there! 

LASTLY - I’M SO SORRY for writing so much i just couldn’t condense it into less paragraphs if i wanted but i hope it was interesting!

#answered

[pterodactylterrace]

Guys Like You Chapter 6

Title: Guys Like You

Chapter: 6

Chapter Summary: More of a filler chapter, not much Henry, I’m sorry.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, pregnancy, poor self image, bad coping mechanisms, low self esteem.

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5}

"I already told you, Faye! I don't want anything to do with this!"

"So because I want to keep my babies, you're leaving me? Is that what you're trying to tell me, David?"

"Yes! Shit, I knew you were dumb, but seriously!"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you deaf too, whore? How do you even know I'm the one that knocked you up? You've slept with just about every guy in town!"

"Get the fuck out."

"Don't come crying to me later! You're nothing without me! No one is ever going to want you. Especially once you have kids. Who the hell wants used goods? Have fun living a life of regret!"

Faye jerked awake, her head spinning as she tried to catch her bearings. Did David really leave her just like that? Sure he wasn't the greatest, but he had never lashed out like that before. At least not where anyone else could witness it.

No. David's gone. He has been gone for almost four years now. New life. Starting over. It's all in the past now.

Have to get the baby up before the sitter comes. Work is coming up soon. Life goes on.

"Briar, what are you doing on the floor?" Faye chuckled, crouching down next to her daughter, curled up on her pillow by her bed.

"I'm a puppy." Briar yawned in explanation, holding her arms up to be lifted, promptly licking her mother's cheek as soon as she was up.

"Briar, we talked about licking people."

"I'm not Briar, I'm puppy."

"Ok then, puppy, no licking people. Now what do you want for breakfast?"

"Puppy food."

"Cereal it is."

Feed the toddler, quick shower, get dressed, throw her hair up away from her face, wait for the baby sitter, hugs and kisses goodbye, then off to work. The usual routine she had settled herself into.

Feed the baby, because she's hungry and she comes first.

Shower, because she probably has some sort of mystery goo on her from the toddler.

Get dressed, avoid the mirror.  No one wants to be reminded of how much they've changed. The softness she wasn't used to around her lower stomach, hips and thighs. Her breasts no longer as perky as they used to be. The stretchmarks competing with her tattoo's for attention.

Then, the hardest part of the day. "Ok, Briar, Mrs. Anderson is here. Mommy has to go to work. I love you."

"I love you too, Mommy." Briar responded, hugging her mother tight and kissing her cheek before she was sat back down.

"Have a nice day, Miss Warren."

"I hope she's not too much to handle."

"Never is."

Some days, Faye likes to pretend she's ok. Like she has a handle on things. Like she knows what she's doing and not just blindly stumbling through her life while trying to do right by her daughter.

Other days, she would absently push her sleeves up and her eye would catch on the black lines decorating her forearm, just below her elbow. Some days she's reminded that life is a bitch, and you can't always get what you want. On those days she tried to stay out of her own head, though that rarely worked.

She could slap on a smile with the best of them, but she could never force it to reach her eyes. Her face always remained an open book, free for anyone to read. The past creeps up on you. There's nothing you can do to stop it some days. On a bad day, the ghosts of the past will haunt your mind, echoing the worst days of your life into the void of your shattered heart.

"No one is ever going to want you!"

"You're nothing without me!"

"Who wants used goods?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Warren. There was nothing we could do."

Over and over on a seemingly never ending loop, reminding her of the darkest times in her life.

Why would anyone want her? She's not the same hot twenty six year old she used to be. She was soft. She was saggy. She would never be as attractive as she used to be. Anyone in their right mind would turn around and run once they realized how much she had let herself go.

Days like today were best spent keeping people at a distance. Tell them some story about being tired. Avoid anyone that is going to call her out on her obvious lie. Therein lies the problem with dying your hair obnoxious colors. Among a sea of blonde and brunette, powder blue tends to stick out and make it almost impossible to vanish.

Lie your way out of it. Survive another day. Tomorrow might not be better, but at least it won't be the same.

"Mommy, you're back!" The sweetest sound she could hear all day.

"I always come back, my little love." Faye assured, kissing her daughter's head.

Need to care for the baby. She comes first. She deserves the world. Play time. Dinner time. Bath time. Story time. Bed time. The same after work routine she had established months ago when she decided to drop everything and run.

Her daughter thought the world of her. She would do anything to see her smile. She would wear the stupid costume. She would pretend to be a horsey. She would let her daughter use her as a jungle gym. She would make the same dinner again for the third night in a row for her.  So what if she soaked the bathroom floor during bath time? She was a mermaid, and she wanted to show off her tail. Story time, always an adventure with her imaginative little girl. What world would they find themselves in today? Dinosaurs? Princesses? Mythology? A rhyming book?

Ah, yes of course. Her current favorite, the book about the dinosaur cleaning his room. She was a girl obsessed with dinosaurs at the moment.

"Mommy, where's my Papa?" Briar asked, staring intently down at the page depicting a mother and father watching the dinosaur throw away paper scraps.

"Don't worry about him, sweetheart. He wasn't a nice man." Faye explained, resting her cheek on her daughter's head.

"Can I have a new Papa?"

"Maybe someday, sweetheart."

"Can Spider-man be my new Papa?"

"Why do you want Spider-man to be your new Papa?"

"He's my boyfriend!"

"That's not how it works, silly. If he's your boyfriend, he can't also be by boyfriend! Pick another hero!"

"Batman!"

"Well, he is rich." Faye mused, Briar giggling happily. "Now it's time for bed, my love."

"Ok, Mommy. I love you!"

"I love you too, Briar." Faye whispered, kissing her forehead. The nightlight was switched on and the door was left cracked open, just in case. Now for her seldom used free time.

Should she sketch some more? Finish that painting she started forever ago? Ever since she started a "real" job, her art had fallen by the wayside. She was too drained to do much after work and caring of her daughter.

Maybe some drawing will lift her spirits and keep the nightmares at bay tonight. But what to draw? Not in the mood for still life. Brain too fried for something straight from her imagination. Her usual model was sleeping, and her last few self portraits had been a serious blow to her ego. She just drew what she saw in the mirror. Then, when she was finished, she decided she should have worn more clothing before she drew herself. What was supposed to boost her confidence and empower her as a woman instead left her wondering when exactly she developed that roll when sitting in that position.

"Fuck it. I'm drawing a moose." Faye grumbled to herself, turning the page from her self portrait to a blank sheet. Half an hour later when she was trying to remember what a moose's antlers looked like, she finally picked up her phone. Seven unread messages? That seems like a lot. When was the last time she looked at her phone? Oh yeah, when she got home, five hours ago.

All from one person. So she wasn't ignoring everyone at least. Seven messages, all from Henry. Shit. That's not good.

Are you ok?

You seemed off on set today

You didn't even talk to me

Did you at least make it home alright?

Can you send me a sign of life?

I'm sorry if I upset you or something. Can you please talk to me? I'm genuinely worried.

Please?

Well, fuck. Here she was playing unicorn apocalypse with her daughter, and this poor guy was worrying himself to death.

Sorry, I was drawing a moose

Perfect way of saying "I wasn't ignoring you" while also avoiding his persistent questions about her wellbeing. The good old 'drawing a moose' excuse. Works every time.

I think your moose aged me by ten years. Are you ok?

Just had a bad day

Anything I can do to help?

Squeeze me until I stop struggling and my spine snaps

That's called 'murder' Miss Warren

I knew there was a name for it

Is there anything I can do for you that involves less prison?

Nah, if you're not going to take me out, then I'm not interested

I'm not going to take you out by murder. I will take you out on a date.

Faye froze, staring at her phone. He was just playing around, like he always did. No way he was serious. Henry liked to flirt, and she wasn't about to throw herself at him over a joke. She had more dignity than that. So how does she respond? She can't just ignore him, and taking forever to respond is going to give the impression that she was freaking out over what he said.

She was completely freaking out over what he had said, but he didn't need to know that. Was he just looking to get laid or something? Probably. He had gotten pretty close the last time he had been over. There's a difference between dating and screwing, though. He was probably just looking for someone to fuck while waiting for a woman worth his time to come along. Faye was broken out of her thoughts by her phone going off again, alerting her to a new message. Didn't he know she was busy having an existential crisis?

If you're free on Sunday you can come over and show me that moose your working on

*you're

Smart ass

Sunday?

I'll have to see if Mrs. Anderson can watch Briar

Bring her along. She keeps asking me about Kal

Pretty on brand for her

Sunday?

Sunday.

Sunday. What to wear on Sunday? He was probably looking for a little something something for his time, so something slutty? She got rid of all her slutty clothes after she had Briar in a fit of self hatred toward her new mom bod, so that was out. Besides, he wouldn't have invited Briar over too if he was looking to get laid.

So what does one wear on a casual 'date' these days? She had until Sunday to figure that out.

Tag List:  @Xxxkatxo @Weallhaveadestiny

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