#obligatory Do Not Fucking Start Fights In The Notes Or I Will Come For You tag

[saltpepperbeard]

OBLIGATORY COMPLETE OFMD SEASON 2 TEASER THOUGHTS AND SPECULATION POST™

Okay, to start off, I cannot BELIEVE we got this. I cannot BELIEVE we got a voiceover of Stede's note to Ed. We were all thinking it. We were all hoping for it. I CANNOT BELIEVE WE LEGITIMATELY GOT TO SEE AND HEAR HIS LOVE RIGHT OFF THE BAT. HE LOVES HIS ED SO SO MUCH.

Followed by this shot right as Stede is narrating. It's difficult to tell, but it seems like Ed??? The one-armed jacket and the fact that it's layered with Stede's narration makes me quite certain it's him. But ALONE??? AND COMING OUT OF THE SURF??? (There's a shot later that has me PARTICULARLY raising eyebrows at this moment. I'm thinking that he fell off the boat/was lost in that one storm shown later, and Stede of course is going to dive in after him or attempt to get to him in some sort of dramatic way. Which makes me think he and Stede are going to potentially talk feelings/reconcile on the beach)

And the fight choreography of this. Are you actually kidding me right now. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. GETTING TO SEE ED ABSOLUTELY KICKING ASS IN COMBAT??? NEVER IN A THOUSAND YEARS DID I EXPECT TO SEE A SHOT LIKE THIS BUT I'M HOLLERING SO HARD OVER IT (NOT TO MENTION, AGAIN, LOOKING AT THIS AND A LATER SHOT..........I'LL SCREAM ABOUT MY THOUGHTS WHEN SAID SHOT APPEARS HSKDLS)

Oh, they're PINING pining. They're YEARNING yearning. They're GAY gay.

They want to be back with each other so so so bad I'm losing my mind <3

"Fuck you, Stede Bonnet." The way he's JUST as dramatic as we were all thinking. The way he's hurting in a way WE ALL ANTICIPATED. LIKE, YOU HATE TO SEE IT, BUT MAN DSJKLDSSDKL. Also, the contrast of him saying that vs Stede's voice over is so so insane. The editors are INSANE FOR THAT ONE.

AGAIN, GOING BONKERS OVER ED'S CHARACTERIZATION BECAUSE HE SEEMS EXACTLY HOW I ANTICIPATED. Outwardly, angry, hardened, and cold. Inwardly, heartbroken, desperate, and wanting nothing more than to be back with Stede. Because hello, HELLO, HE'S NOTCHED WHAT I ASSUME TO BE HIS NUMBER OF DAYS WITHOUT STEDE IN THE WALL??????

HI OLU HELLO OLU MY DEAR DARLING OLU

but also screaming and crying and throwing up because this is ALSO what i was anticipating/hoping for. the crew being like "ummmmm lmao captain?? you really think you've got this under control???"

"You think Blackbeard's going to murder you?" I THINK NOT BECAUSE WHAT IS HE EVEN SHOOTING AT JSLDKS. OFF TO THE SIDE??? A WARNING SHOT????? Also the lighting of this and his look matches the ending shot so I'm very eyes emoji at this entire thing.

HOWEVER...

"MURDERER THRICE OVER?????????????"

Like sorry, that sign won't stop me because I can't read. Look at him. LOOK at him. You're telling me he stole the wedding cake toppers so he could PAINT HIMSELF ON THE BRIDE??? SO HE COULD MAKE HIMSELF INTO THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE HE WANTS TO BE????? SO THAT HE COULD PLAY PRETEND MARRIAGE BETWEEN HIMSELF AND STEDE???????

INSANE!!!

INSANE FOR THIS!!!!!!

Again, bonkers editing. The split screen. The CONTRAST between Stede's hopefulness and Ed's depression. The WAY THEY LINED IT UP TO MAKE ED LOOK LIKE HE'S TAKING AIM AT STEDE. THE WAY THIS PROBABLY PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THEIR CHARACTERIZATION IN THE FIRST FEW EPISODES HSDJKLSDS LIKE BITING THE EDITORS BITING THEM BITING THEM

ALSO ED AND ALL OF HIS GUNS,,, NINE GUNS???????

It kills me because he's probably being exactly what he thinks people see him as. He's probably like "Oh, you want a monster? I'll give you a monster."

WHICH,,,, NO, HONEY. YOU'RE A SWEETHEART, SORRY ABOUT IT.

AND THEN LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT OUR DARLINGS!!! FANG'S FUCKING SPIKES ARE SO METAL. FRENCHIE'S WOLVERINE COSPLAY SHDJKLSHDLKS. JIM!!! JIM JIM MY BELOVED JIM, AND THEIR PAINTED BEARD. THEIR GENDER!!!!!!!

Honey hsdksjds the drama of it all. THE DRAMA. CRASHING WEDDINGS TO DISRUPT LOVE BECAUSE YOUR OWN WAS DISRUPTED??? SIIIIIIRRRR THE THEATRICS, THE SPICE OF IT ALL

excuse me ma'am that is a gay man shdkjshkls THAT IS A GAY MAN. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING,,,

kiss me instead like wtf

OKAY NOW THIS,,,

THIS.

PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: THE BABYGIRL IS FIGHHHTTTTIIIING

BUT IZZY WATCHING ON??? IZZY????????????

I have Genuine Thoughts™ about this. I have a feeling that the big arc/character development Con mentioned might pertain to him like, REALIZING what's important, and what Ed actually wants and needs. And a good chunk of that will be him realizing the consequences of his actions, and maybe potentially wanting to undo the damage. And also, in his Bitchy Izzy Ways™, he might also get very very tired of Ed's sulking/theatrics and want to rectify things for that reason too.

So I feel like he's going to sort of team up with Stede and show him the ropes for that reason?? So they ALL can work towards betterment???

WHICH IS NUTS LMAO. NEVER EVER EXPECTED THAT.

REGARDLESS, GO STEDE BABY GO!!!

HI REVENGE HELLO REVENGE PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC LIKE EXPLODE OR ANYTHING PLEASE BABYGIRL <3

yeah yeah the titties we've all seen them.

BUT AGAIN, AGAIN, STEDE OFF TO THE SIDE. STEDE WATCHING. STEDE LEARNING THE ROPES FROM THE MOST UNEXPECTED PERSON EVER SHDJKSDS LIKE WHAT!!!

AND HEEEEEEERE WE GO. HERE'S THE SHOT I WAS REFERRING TO EARLIER.

THE SAME BLACK SAND BEACH. FIGHTING THE BRITISH. ED AND STEDE. ED WITHOUT HIS MAKEUP ON. STEDE IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT.

ARE THEY BOTH,,, FIGHTING TO GET TO EACH OTHER??? FIGHTING THROUGH CROWDS AND ENEMIES TO GET TO EACH OTHER'S SIDES???????

WHAT IF THEY FIGHT TO EACH OTHER AND THEN KISS HUH???

WHAT THEN.

HIIIIIIYYYAAAA JACKIE <33333

ALSO HELLO IS THAT THE SWEDE BEHIND HER???????

EXPLOSIONS FIRE EXPLOSIONS EXPLOSIONS FEELING VERY WEE JOHN CODED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

AND THIS IS YET ANOTHER SHOT I WAS REFERRING TO EARLIER,,,

LIKE UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WITH ED ON THE BEACH, AND THIS SHOT OF SOMEONE FALLING INTO THE WATER,,,,,,

I HAVE A FEELING THAT ED IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING THAT ENDS WITH HIM FALLING OFF THE BOAT. MAYBE HE TRIES TO SAVE SOMEONE???

if he fights to save stede from going overboard or something equivalent i'm going to eat all the tiles off my floor <3

LIKE IT'S BAD BESTIES. IT'S BAD. IT'S DIRE. THE WATER IS SO FUCKING HIGH AND THEY'RE IN A STORM AND JIM IS SCREAMING AND I AM ALSO SCREAMING!!!

But then also, LOOK AT FUCKING WEE JOHN!!! IN DRAG!!! HE'S A FUCKING MERMAID!!! JIM ISN'T A MERMAID???? WELL, THAT'S FINE--WEE JOHN IS!!! LIVING HIS BEST FUCKING LIFE!!!!! AND WHAT IF HE MADE THAT COSTUME HIMSELF SJDKSDJLS <3

AND THE FINAL SHOT I'M CHOOSING, THE FINAL ONE OF THE SET,,, MATCHES UP WITH THAT LIGHTING EARLIER.

WHO ARE WE FIGHTING, ED BABE. WHAT'S THE TEA. WHO ARE YOU CLOBBERING.

IS IT US?

IT'S PROBABLY US.

BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE THING HAS ME SO SO SO DEAD Y'ALL

#OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 #OFMD S2 Teaser #OFMD Season 2 Spoilers #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #Oluwande Boodhari #Jim Jimenez #Frenchie #Fang #Izzy Hands #Spanish Jackie #Revenge Rambles #OKAY NOW I'M ALL OUT OF JUICE HSDLJKSS #ALL OUT OF BRAIN POWER #BUT MAN #MAN!!! #SO SO SO OSO SO SODOSJDKLSDKLS EXCITED

[many-but-one]

i dunno if you guys answer asks but what’s the best way to start… remembering? our social worker suggested hypnotherapy but i don’t know if that works well. we’re aware of the possibility of ramcoa trauma happening and have a few memories but we don’t know how to go about piecing things together

We do answer asks! We just forget we have an askbox sometimes. This one caught my attention in particular due to the mention of hypnotherapy and a possibility of RAMCOA trauma.

Obligatory “I’m not a therapist I’m just a random system on tumblr and you should make your own informed decisions on your own mental health.”

So if you suspect RAMCOA trauma in your history I would advise to be extremely careful and/or cautious about pursuing hypnotherapy. We have never done hypnotherapy and never will because hypnosis is a very common mode that programmers will use to create a dissociated state in a child. Hypnosis therefore is extremely triggering to us and if your system has parts who are programmed to run when hypnosis begins, it could cause a risk to your system’s stability.

As for tips on how to remember, all I will say is that you should probably consider the factors that make you unable to remember at this time.

Common reasons why amnesia can be strong/worsen for systems (side note: these are all personal experiences or experiences I’ve heard from other systems):

stress in daily life often causes amnesia barriers to strengthen or worsen

a lot of trauma has already recently come out. Especially in the case of HC-DID or C-DID where higher ups can often control amnesia levels to an extent, your gatekeepers will often increase amnesia levels if trauma has already recently slipped out to avoid even more slipping out

you are still having to consistently interact with someone who was involved in or complicit in your trauma. If you are living with your dad who you think is kind of a dick but not that bad and suddenly get memories that he tortured you, living with that person will become nearly impossible for your wellbeing. Gatekeepers will often keep stuff locked down when you are still having to be in contact with past abusers

you are not in a stable position to begin to receive trauma memories. People with CPTSD, a CDD, etc often report that they function fine enough when they are living in an abusive environment, but once they leave that environment and can truly relax, that’s when memories and flashbacks start hitting them and they become nearly nonfunctional despite being in a significantly calmer and safer environment. That’s your body and mind finally leaving fight or flight mode and when you truly get to relax for the first time it’s going to hit you like a truck.

Take it from a host that dug too much too soon and learned things way too fast: slow the fuck down. /meant gently. Your memories will surface in time. There is no rush to figure everything out. Trust me, the more you start learning the more you will probably be like “damn actually I don’t wanna know any more this is getting pretty bad” and by then your system will be like “WELL THAT’S TOO DAMN BAD.”

I had to get pulled from the host team for nearly a year because of how bad digging for memories fucked me up. Granted, I ended up taking up inner caretaking and inner deprogramming and now that our system is very nearly completely deprogrammed, my inner world job is less necessary so I can return to full time host business. There were several other factors that also led to me being unable to host again for so long, such as programmed parts constantly attacking and harming host team members (couldn’t handle that I am Fragile) and also having a harder time speaking in an American accent and masking my English one due to a series of splits that happened after we got divorced from our ex wife. I can mask my accent better now and my distress tolerance is much higher now due to having worked with programmed parts internally for so long, which makes me able to return to main host stuff and not get absolutely mentally destroyed anytime I experience a flashback or programmed response or an attack from a programmed part anymore.

If you have RAMCOA trauma, no matter if it was stuff from a single parent or a high control group, none of it will be fun to learn. It will be some of the most devastating, heart-wrenching, soul-crushing things you will ever experience, seeing flashbacks of your kid self being harmed in ways no human should be harmed, let alone an innocent kid. And I’m not saying you’re trying to learn for the fun of it, I’m assuming you want to learn for two reasons at least:

1) you’re in denial and need proof

2) you want to help your system heal

What I did to help myself through these two things were this:

When I experienced denial, such as when a part told me something or showed me something, I would just default to believing them no matter if I thought something like that could ever happen. My kid self deserves to have someone believe them. We were never believed as a kid, nobody paid attention, we were ignored. I’m never doing that to myself ever again. If the memory turns out to be a pseudomemory, or you realize maybe this didn’t really happen the way you thought, you’ll figure that out when you get there and that doesn’t mean you were faking it.

As for wanting to help my system heal, I learned I actually didn’t need to know as much info as I thought I needed to know to help my system heal. The extent of what I know now is a few visuals, that’s it. I have seen maybe about a dozen visual memories (not even in their entirety, often just 1 or 2 seconds of something) and the rest is just “this is what happened” as told to me by my parts. It’s like reading a horrible story, I’m incredibly detached from it. But the things I have seen have helped me learn to take my parts seriously when they tell me what happened. I catalogue their triggers, I learn what to avoid, I learn how to positively trigger out other parts who can help, I work on inner communication, etc. I don’t need to know all the details yet, that will come later. For now, I can teach my parts who haven’t seen the light of day for 15 years how to ground in the present and show them healthy coping skills. I can give them the comfort and love they always deserved. I don’t need to know what happened to do that. I can know it’s bad because they got triggered out when I looked in the mirror and they saw my red lipstick and freaked. I can know it’s bad because they internally look like a doll with no limbs or a young girl with no eyes and only a mouth full of teeth. I don’t need to see what made them that way/remember what made them that way to help them.

I hope my answer helped anon! Good luck!

-Dori 🌹(she/he/they)

#dori🌹 #dorian🌹 #answered asks #anon ask #did alters #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #manybutone #hcdid #ramcoa #tw ramcoa #tw torture #did denial #coping skills #did amnesia

[jacksprostate]

Howdy jacksprostate can you give us some thoughts on the narrators father/upbringing? Im curious on how you interpret what the book/movie gave us in terms of his absent dad

Also i love ur posts btw and thank you for replying to like all of my fight club art 😭 It genuinely pushes me to make more for the community so i thank you

Howdy :)

The narrator's father is an important, ever present, and completely lacking figure in the book and movie. (Obligatory disclaimer I mostly focus on the book) Here's some things I've been thinking about:

The chapter detailing fight club, its start, its rules, is intertwined with fatherhood. As the narrator explains his first punch with Tyler, as he looks upon his new disciples, as Tyler reads out the rules:

"Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer. 

Tyler never knew his father. 

Maybe self-destruction is the answer."

"Me, I knew my dad for about six years, but I don't remember anything. My dad, he starts a new family in a new town about every six years. This isn't so much like a family as it's like he sets up a franchise. 

What you see at fight club is a generation of men raised by women."

You have the lines, Tyler’s in the movie, the narrator’s in the book, you have:

"My father never went to college so it was really important I go to college. 

After college, I called him long distance and said, now what? 

My dad didn't know. 

When I got a job and turned twenty-five, long distance, I said, now what? My dad didn't know, so he said, get married. 

I'm a thirty-year-old boy, and I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer I need."

You have:

"Tyler was fighting his father. 

Maybe we didn't need a father to complete ourselves. There's nothing personal about who you fight in fight club." 

And you have his boss; his boss he blows up, Tyler constantly tells the narrator how he could do it, Tyler’s words come out against his boss about how he could shoot up the office, begging to be punished, using the copy machines, begging for more than nothingness; you have:

“The problem is, I sort of liked my boss.

If you’re male and you’re Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And sometimes you find your father in your career.

Except Tyler didn’t like my boss.”

You have: 

“I am Joe’s Broken Heart because Tyler’s dumped me. Because my father dumped me. Oh, I could go on and on.”

You have, Tyler’s words in the mechanic’s mouth:

“"Your father was your model for God.

…

If you’re male and you’re Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And if you never know your father, if your father bails out or dies or is never at home, what do you believe about God?

…

What you end up doing … is you spend your life searching for a father and God.

What you have to consider … is the possibility that God doesn’t like you. Could be, God hates us. This is not the worst thing that can happen."

How Tyler saw it was that getting God’s attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God’s hate was better than His indifference.

If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?

We are God’s middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention. 

Unless we get God’s attention, we have no hope of damnation or Redemption. 

Which is worse, hell or nothing?

Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.”

And we have Tyler using paraffin, so the narrator can be in Heaven, chided by God.

So like, what does it all mean?

A generation of men raised by women. His dad franchises, he’s not sure if another woman is really what we need. Men with no male models. Men with shit fucking fathers who are fighting them with impersonal proxies. Men who know they're destroying themselves because they have no constructive examples to follow because every single man just fails every son.

And that IS important. It's important to note there is misogyny in the fact that men demand male idols and refuse to even borrow women, but can I condemn them for the same thing I know matters to myself? Can I condemn them for wanting to see men who aren't shit, when I want to see women who aren't shit, when I want to see both not fucking failing their children? Shit fathers fuck over everyone, I don't think it's wrong to see that problem. It's classic male to say it by implying women are lesser, so fucking classic, but it IS true — they're in large part like this because men fucking fail everyone including each other and themselves. There is a gaping, wide fucking asshole where decent men should be, and they’re throwing fits about it rather than stepping up, but I think it’s notable that the narrator DID break the cycle. He’s not franchising. 

And man, the Christian thing. Your father is your model for God because that is the point. Patriarchal religion serves a damn purpose. The father anoints himself as God, tells his children to have unbreakable faith, then disappears. What a shit fucking father. Isn’t disillusionment inevitable? When you can’t find him in his petty figures, not in your father, not in your boss?

Truth is, he says it twice. He likes his boss. As a person maybe. He’s around. But he’s absent too. He doesn’t give a shit. Just like his fucking father, he’s putting him in shit situations, telling him that’s just how it is, and expecting him to, what, be happy with it?

He likes his boss, but a part of him really wants to kill him. He likes his boss, but he begs his boss to do something, anything other than indifference. And he doesn’t. So the narrator invents his own boss, his own father, his own God, and he kills his boss, and he’d kill God and his father if they weren’t already practically dead and gone. 

Dead and gone, even if they're there, he could beg them to care and they wouldn't. Society is set up for them to be the ultimate judgement, the hallmark by which you can measure yourself, the ruler for your fucking life, especially as a guy. And you get nothing. Indifference at best. Be the best son, disciple, worker you can, your boss God father doesn't give a shit. Self improvement isn't the answer. Wouldn't it be better, to know God, your father, your boss cared enough even if it's just to hate you?

Wouldn't it be great to track him down, tell God, "I am stupid and bored and weak, but I am still your responsibility."

He externalizes all that violence, it’s always Tyler who wants to kill his boss, who says he wants to be God’s enemy. And Tyler is his stand in boss father God, so just like the others, he leaves him. Even his fantasies can’t imagine better. 

And honestly, yeah. Myself, I’ve got a pretty good dad. He loves me. He’s been around. I still hate his guts. He abuses my mom and I hate his fucking guts for it. If you asked my brothers, maybe they wouldn’t have that “but”. What he does to my mom is so baked into society that he may as well be a five star father. He’s not beating us. He’s still here. Can it really get better? I have friends that love their dads. But I don’t have any friends that love their dads that don’t have shit moms. When it’s not the choice between bad and worse. The bar is so low. What does that mean for us?

It’s so easy to point at all this and be disturbed and angry about this pathetic fucking white man letting his daddy issues result in terrorism, and like, yeah. But god, fucking everyone has daddy issues, and we shouldn’t. He’s right that it’s a problem. What to fucking do.

Fight Club sits as a “how to NOT deal with several major crippling problems in society,” obviously. But what are we doing to do? It’s not up to me, obviously. I’m not a man, father, not even someone who could raise her standards for the man she partners with, because I don’t do that shit. And hell, you raise your standards and men say you’re killing them and shoot up all the women in an engineering class because jobs are making them too uppity. So. It’s up to them, whether they decide that the fallout of having such a shit father means they should, I don’t know, change something. But as it is, father as God, boss as father is baked into society, the paternalism is extensive and everywhere. It’s baked in.

The narrator is a product of so many issues. A little clown car of a vehicle for them. I don’t really need to consciously think about what his upbringing and absent dad was like, because really, as he accurately assesses, “if his parents weren’t divorced, his father was never home, and here he’s looking at me with half my face clean shaved and half a leering bruise hidden in the dark. Blood shining on my lips. And maybe Walter’s thinking about a meatless, painfree potluck he went to last weekend or the ozone or the Earth’s desperate need to stop cruel product testing on animals, but he’s probably not.” 

Most people, on an overwhelming scale, due to how the world is damn designed, do not need to consciously think about what his upbringing and absent dad was like, because damn if it’s not relevant even if your dad was home.

#asks #fight club #i ended up letting the quotes speak for themselves a lot because I think once you put them side by side like this there's a lot you can #connect on your own #tried to ramble a little about it though yeah #also again i'm so glad you enjoy my comments and i'm glad it encourages you :) #tl;dr fight club does great at pointing out that the whole “women have daddy issues” thing is soooooo much projection #like yeah we do. everyone does. but oh my fucking god men live and die by how crippled they feel by their fathers

[bethanysnow]

Golden Hour: a SKZ thanksgiving~

Writers Notes:

As I get back into K-pop and South Korean Culture. The fandoms of K-pop, and Stray Kids. I am reminded of my first holiday season having moved from Alaska. Coming from a big family it felt like the house was too empty, that I couldn't turn the tv loud enough to replace the people that weren't there. Everyone has had that at some point. A holiday, a birthday, or some event where you just wished that person or those people were there for. Even as good as that event or holiday turned out to be. You still saw an empty chair and thought it would be filled. So I write this because of that feeling. I have friends now as an adult all over the world and it's hard to convey that specific brand of isolation.

I know Thanksgiving is a very U.S.-centric holiday. But go with me here lol. I promise it's cute.

So to my fellow stays all across the world you make not only stray kids but also me, stay. So thank you. I may not speak to you directly, but if you are tagged below you have impacted me in your work, and blog, and it's been an honor to be in this space with you. I dedicate this work to you. I hope it doesn't suck!

@hyunsvngs @moonlightndaydreams @moonjxsung @ddyskz @queen-in-the-shadows @chansmanda @antoniorhinothethird @cbini @its-hannjisung @noellllslut @channieandhisgoonsquad @sweetracha @skzms @hyunjinfairy @7ndipity @forlix

Stray Kids ot8 X Platonic!Foreigner!Reader. (But honestly, it can be whatever you want ;) ) 2.7k wrds

"Vanilla! I fucking forgot Vanillia! God damnit!" Recircling it on the very long list that had been trailing behind her through the week. It was days before Thanksgiving and it was not only a herculean task to try and buy cranberry sauce in Korean, but also to find a whole turkey from meet markets and buchers who of course looked at y/n like she was insane.

It was only because Seungmin and Minho teased y/n about just how festive she was getting for the holidays she had to open her big mouth. You just had to, didn't you? Of course! Y/n was gonna show them just how amazing the holidays could be, starting with the third week of November. If she had to pull a full Martha Stewart out of her ass to prove her point she would, Y/n was already too deep into it now.

That is how she found herself in the middle of a grocery store on the outer edges of Seoul trying to buy potatoes and cursing about Vanilla. Y/n thought back on how she got into this mess while continuing shopping.

Originally Y/n worked as a remote context translator for a couple video editors based out of South Korea. That of course turned into more and more Zoom meetings and a vacation to Seoul later she had moved and worked full-time with JYP and Stray Kids. Still as a context translator, but also now as an assistant to their manager whom she grew close with. He was the big brother/father figure one needed in a country you weren't from originally. The eight boys who followed her around like lost puppies also maybe had something to do with it maybe just maybe.

Getting out of the store with her now chosen ingredients it was time to hail back to the apartment and start the process that everyone dreaded most of all. Cleaning. It wasn't the obligatory floordrobe, or the collection of maybe two mugs too many on the coffee table; but left to ones own devices the apartment was...not great for hosting what will be the greatest dinner ever?? One would love to have the ~aesthetic~ apartment you see on Pinterest, but fuck even the Idols she worked for didn't have that. So why should she? Y/n's roommate of six months was out on a bussniess trip for the next week, so she got to fight the great pile of doom on her own.

Walking in the mix of preparation and desolation that greeted her would make Marie Kando tremble in fear. But she was determined! The kitchen was stacked with dishes so strategically one would call her a master of her craft- now this artform isn't one for the faint of heart, but art nonetheless. Putting down the new groceries away in the refrigerator and cabinets it was time to start.

"CUE THE CLEANING MONTAGE!" Y/n yelled as music filled the room. Pretending to be a tavern wench as she cleared the table and did the dishes or Cinderella waiting for a Hwang Prince Charming.

As the night wore on it was becoming increasingly obvious cleaning the entire apartment wasn't going to be an option tonight. Flopping on the couch looking at her phone Y/n scrolled through social media. Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter (Authors note: Fuck you Elon). She stopped and tossed the phone down onto the cushion beside her. Her shirt was wet, cold, still sudsy from doing the dishes that needed to be handwashed. Her knees hurt from getting under the table. Hands ached with the grip of a thousand suns it felt like.

All Y/n could hear though was the quiet. The dripping of the faucet, the cars outside, the heater kicking on. But like a ringing in her ears she just heard quiet. No laughter, no joy or drinks being spilt over stories that don't see the light of day. The air was heavy and thick cold enough to cause goosebumps up her arms. Y/n had moved away from everything she knew on the hope that she would find her place in the world. That she would find her people. Maybe she had, but in the moment she exhaled all that was left was a tired body. It was for thanksgiving, it was for people she now considered friends to come over and have a good time. The emptiness in stagnation though diligently reminded her of why they were her friends in the first place. There was no support group here like back at home. She didn't have to think twice about connotation or what someone meant when they said something because they all spoke the same language at home. Found similar things funny. Understood implications of words and meanings. That was all gone. Working twice if not three times as hard just to get a foot in the door Y/n was faced with the reality and consequence of her decision. She didn't regret it. Or at least at the moment, she didn't. The gnawing in her chest would subside one day and she would find friends, family. People to kiss under the golden hour sun and dance in the kitchen as things baked in the oven. To sneak around roommates and hold hands under the table at a restaurant. She would find them, like a mantra she chanted this over and over while moving to Korea and now she sat on her couch. Looking off into the middle distance her brain coaxing her to the scenarios where she wouldn't find them. Didn't take that step. Didn't say hi.

Yet she was swimming in silence meant to choke her. Drown her hope.

It wasn't enough to be lonely.

it wasn't enough to not understand.

It was in moments like these did she allow tears to reach her eyes and fall.

Over her cheeks, down her jaw, her neck. Just silently spill into empty glasses that never could be filled in the first place.

Her heart was wretched and blue it needed a fire to stay warm and she was almost there.

She looked around the apartment and could almost see Changbin and Seungmin yell at one another about cards, or Hyunjin silently judging her decorations, Chan trying to help but being told not to, and Felix talking about the pie she made. Just like a picture book, it was so close and she blinked and it was the empty room again. Sinking her fantasy into the sea.

...soon

............its soon

~~~~

The days leading up to the fateful Thursday were one of a lot of shopping, decorating, and cooking. Lots of cooking.

Proving the bread to make the rolls, blind baking the pie crust, hell even making the pie crust to then blind bake it. Mixing stuffing to set overnight, potatoes to peel and mash, cranberries to turn into a sauce, a turkey to baste and season and cook, Arms deep in a bird stuffing it with stuffing.

And yes the fisting jokes abound.

The group chat that was made kept the phone buzzing its way off the counter with the fervency in which some of the boys texted.

Jinnie: What should I wear?

Wolf boy: Do we need to bring anything?

Cat: I googled Thanksgiving and...do you really make hand turkey art?

It made Y/n giggle seeing how excited the boys were getting. This was what she needed after the work put in.

Y/n: Wear whatever you want, be comfortable, but Idk..like nice comfortable? Stuff you wouldn't mind photos being taken in? No don't bring anything, and yes we did as kids.

Bin: ...So no girl group outfit? lol

Y/n: No no you could if you wanted to, but that's between you and Stay lol.

Wolf boy: You sure we don't need to bring anything? I can pick something up on the way.

Minnie: Oy, grandpa she said not to~ ;P

Wolf boy:

Y/n: I cannot wait to see you thursday. Don't kill each other before then. Or else no one is gonna eat the food.

~~~~

The day had arrived. At least the dress rehearsal had. The day before it was no holds bars, if it wasn't going to be done that day it wasn't going to be done. Waking up at 6 am Y/n padded out to the kitchen. Making coffee and something to eat it was the waiting before the rush. The inhale of the orchestra before placing their bow on the strings, the grabbing of a mic and feeling it in your hand, the stare into the crowd before going on stage.

The 'hold your breath and jump.'

And the race was on!

Dishes from the cabinet were taken out, the nice dishes, the ones Y/n picked up thinking her social life would be fuller than it was. Yes those dishes. Beautiful and shined like the inside of a clamshell, pearl dust and fairy tears was what the label read originally. Some rich people shit as far as she was concerned, she just liked it being pretty.

The table was set with a red tablecloth, and leaves from maybe the tree outside her apartment, (they were yellow and red, and who really would have noticed?). Crystal glasses, and tapered candles waiting to be lit. Pine cones and wreath garlands shrugged against window sills and folded oh so strategically a brass-coloured throw blanket on the couch to cover a night of drinking.

The food slowly grew from one side of the counter to taking up the entire kitchen. Even having to borrow a table from her roommate to set everything out. Drinks, games to play. The oven heated up the apartment till Y/n had to take off her hoodie and reminisce that maybe this was what it was like to put coal into a train engine. Warm light from the stove swallowed the apartment in an amber-golden glow. Sitting on the kitchen linoleum her head fell back against the cabinet under the countertop. A smile gracing her features. She could hear the timer tick by, feel the heat from the stove, she could look up to the counter top and see dishes filled with food and it was all for tomorrow. For a good day. To have a good day. It will be worth it. She was sure.

By the time Y/n had decided to fold the fabric napkins it was past 1 in the morning. Her phone lit up with a notification, and she swiped her pin to see it was a text from Chris.

"Hi"

"Hey Chan, whatsup?"

"Nothin, working on music. You uh sure you don't want me to bring anything?"

*sends a photo of the buffet that has been created* "That your answer?"

.....

..........

"You did all that for us?"

"Well yea, I want you to have a good time."

"Y/n-"

"Yes Chan?"

"Thank you. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow. Thank you for doing this, I know you've been homesick. So I am looking forward to it!"

"Me too"

turning the screen black Y/n sat back against the chair and looked at the now decidedly more festive apartment. It was like a hallmark movie threw up and she wouldn't change a thing about it.

~~~~

The morning had come. Unlike Christmas or a birthday, this was about family and gathering around a table and honoring those around us. That is what it was supposed to be at least.

Taking the most deep everything shower one can achieve Y/n had it down almost to a science. Lathering body washes, scrubs, hair masks, everything! To hope she could look maybe half as good compared to who was going to walk into her place in a couple hours.

Slipping into a green dress, she put on an apron. Putting the last rolls into the oven wiping down countertops and doing last touches.

She had a hour before all hell would break loose and eight of the most talented men in their generation would be walking in through her front door. It made her nervous.

Not nervous bad, but nervous. First time she had people over to her apartment, first-time friends, but also she did work for them technically. It wasn't lost on Y/n just how amazing this situation was.

How many people would kill to have these opportunities in life. Sure things hurt, and sucked sometimes, but looking around she knew she was grateful and that's what mattered. Till the stove timer went off snapping her back to what needed to be done. Rolls out, covering them with a kitchen towel, running into the bedroom to slap on some makeup and finish her hair. It was just as she put down the last thing did the doorbell go off.

~~~

The group walked in with confidence like they owned the building but Y/n would expect nothing less. All in sweaters and hoodies, sweatpants and big hugs for the host. Standing next to the door Y/n was crushed with biceps only the kpop industry could produce. Holding her tight she kept each boy embraced till they were the first to let go. With Han, Felix, and Chan that could last the entire night though.

"This is your apartment?"

"LOOK AT THE FOOD!"

"You made bread???!"

"Do we eat now??"

"Oy! Y/n you decorated for us? Why?"

*insert Minho elbowing them*

"Its really nice!"

Her apartment was now filled with laughter. Han finding a guitar of course needed to waltz through and serenade anyone who would listen. Chris and Changbin fussing with the tv to get karaoke set up. Hyunjin indeed was judging the decorations but with the artistic eye of admiration in reality. Felix and Seugmin hovered over the food talking about it, pouring drinks. Leeknow sat on the couch scrolling on his phone ultimately being more moral support for the boys at the television. IN staying close to Y/n watching the groups chaos ensue.

It was what she needed.

What she had been missing.

Family.

"Okay everyone, dinner is served!" Taking the turkey out of the oven and the foil off the tops of serving plates "Chan would you do the honors?" Offering to have him place the turkey out on the serving table. His smile reached his eyes as his chest puffed up with pride calling the boys to have a seat. One by one they piled food on their plates high, filling their glasses full, and sitting down at the table antsy so excited to eat with everyone there. For they too felt the separation of the two apartments, they didn't get to have homecooked meals or someone to plan something this nice. But Y/n did. She saw how they ate from food delivery containers, vending machines, and out of each others plates. Her heart ached as did theirs and so tonight, today, would be spent healing that pain.

Chan cut the turkey, Minho continued to smack people's asses because he could, Changbin got up and did a girl group dance playing the song on his phone. People laughed till they cried. Pie was served and everyone commented at how much cool whip was on Felix's because "That's how you're supposed to eat it!"

The sun was setting casting the apartment in that golden hour hue. Where Y/n had normally kept busy, ignoring the pit in her stomach of another day gone by alone. She got to sit back and watch her friends, her new family enjoy time together. Eat a meal that they didn't have to stress about. The golden light filled Y/ns chest with warmth and the fuzziness of blankets at a sleep over, the stuffed animal won at a claw machine, the bed of home after being away. Time had passed, and she could let go of the pain that held her back if these boys were the ones to catch her.

And they would. Time and time again they would catch her. All she needed to do was jump. So while Han sang a disney princess song, and Seungmin and Minho admit defeat that maybe the holidays aren't as bad after all, or even Chan stopped the ever-present work load to be in the moment; Y/n finally had it. What she had been wanting all along. She found her place in the world.

In with these boys, in the laughter, in the pain of loneliness, she had found it.

Uno rounds, songs sung, pillows thrown, food ate, it was truly a Golden StrayKids Thanksgiving after all.

Where no one can be forgotten.

~~~

La fin.

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #hyunjin #lee know #seungmin #bang chan #changbin #han jisung #in #lee felix #happy holidays #and thank you for being my friend moots

[butchdykekondraki]

do you still have the timelines for the dsaf routes i need them for something dont ask why

yea :-)

obligatory tw for manipulation, stalking, murder, child death, medical talk, forced lobotomy and suicidal idealization

radical/aubergine/gnarly/bad ending timeline (yes it does really have that many names.)

>dr henry miller starts fredbears family diner with william afton/dave miller

>scott cawthon starts freddy fazbears pepperonerie (an obvious play on fredbears family diner) and it INFURIATES henry (and william because henrys angry)

>henry does fucked up experiments on william (lobotomizes him to some degree, takes out his organs, etc etc etc) in an effort to “cheat death” and become immortal

>henry manipulates william into killing children because it would "let them live out their happiest days forever" and william, due to growing up homeless and unhappy, whole-heartedly believes this because he has no reason not to trust henry (to his knowledge) >jack kennedy is springlocked in the backroom and henry and dave use his death to get away with the murders, particularly the murder of a girl named dee kennedy, by labeling him as the murderer who then died, only for “the real fredbear” (a god-like entity in the form of a yellow bear) to show up and revive him so long as he promises to save childrens souls. following this jack skips town to live with his brother, peter kennedy

>henry tells william about his dead son, david, and william imprints on this and uses the alias dave/david miller

>dave works at ffp and kills children there while henry kills children at ffd

>henry is murdered and ffd is bought out by ffp, leading dave to work at ffp

>dave meets jack at ffp and dave negotiates that since jack is a "clean slate" he should help him murder five children, jack agrees and they lure five kids to the backroom and kill them

>phone guy/steven gets suspicious and he and dave both frame jack and get him springlocked in his suit (or killed by the police, really it doesn’t matter which)

>in dsaf 2 its confirmed jack survived because he’s functionally immortal and they once again kill children, however this time phone guy 2/peter finds out about this and engages jack in battle, only for “the real fredbear” to show up and be furious at this and then immediately fight jack, to which jack wins and kills “the real fredbear”

>in dsaf 3 dave(trap) is found rotting away in a building by jack and goes on a monologue of how he "knew he wouldnt leave him alone" and jack takes him back to the freddys location that jack now owns (uncle jacks family diner or whatever its called)

>davetrap and jack kill children, phone guy 3 (harry/jake/roger depending on who you choose) flips and phone guy 3 calls jack a terrible person before leaving

>davetrap springlocks jack to give him "immortality" and they go to vegas, where davetrap goes on a brief rant about how he realized he was never happy because jack never knew who he "really was" and confesses to being william afton

>davetrap takes jack to his "fazbunker" (note this is just the same place as we see in fnaf sister location) and shows him a chest containing a red scarf and other memorabilia from murders he’s committed, and thus jack has a realization that this is his dead sister dee's scarf and comes to the correct conclusion that dave/william killed his younger sister and framed him back during the ffd days, leading him to murder dave

good end/saved end/”THE end”

>everything is the same as before but this time you decline everytime dave asks you to kill kids and instead work with dee/the puppet to save the children via the happiest day minigame

>jack finds davetrap rotting and declines taking him back to uncle jacks family diner and davetrap sobs and cries and yells about how he should've known he would do this to him and begins begging jack not to leave him alone, but of course jack does and he heads home

>jack goes into "the flipside" via an arcade machine and sees dave just kind of. chilling. jack is reasonably caught off guard and they have a talk where dave explains the flipside is where souls come to chill and that this first layer is based around the 70s-80s fazbenders locations >they scurry around in here for a while before a child’s ghost appears and they fight him before jack frees his soul (and dave comments on how it feels nice to free a soul)

>dave makes a portal (this is never explained btw.) and they head off to the second layer of the flipside to find more souls to free

>they scurry around the second layer of the flipside for a bit before pressing a button to open a door for the prize corner where dee is, where it’s then revealed she’s the puppet

>dee engages jack and dave in battle because she doesnt believe dave is "truly sorry" and thinks jack is making some sick joke at her expense

>jack explains to dave that dee is it’s sister and jack tells dee not to worry because dave’s changed. she does not believe this and so dave tells her his entire backstory to which dee decides he’s pathetic and that she’ll work with him to save the souls for the childrens sake

>jack fucks off back to the reality and does reality shenanigans like running his business

>he comes back and they go into a portal to the third floor which is designed around 80s-90s fazbenders locations. on the third floor we meet steven who’s just been there the entire time, and he INSTANTLY assumes they're there to kill him and makes them battle robots until they find him huddled in a corner. he rambles about how he’s unsaveable and they should just leave him and jack has to pull him from his spiral to tell him he’s still worth saving even if he was a bit of a dick to everyone

>dave makes another portal and they head down to the last level of the flipside and jack and dee remark about it being peters house and how weird that is because only jack and dee would remember that place >they wander around for a while before finding peter sitting in a room, to which he remarks about being a trap and this confuses everyone

>jack’s soul appears in the form of “blackjack”, who is taking the form of jack’s dead dog sparky. blackjack is enraged that jack even exists, believing himself to be “the real jack kennedy” to which they argue and blackjack mentions how he has henry sitting in a void for all eternity as torment, this INFURIATES everyone to which they all collectively go “?? dude no we need to Kill Him.” and blackjack is pissed about it but he decides that “ok fine they can kill henry” so long as he gets to join them >they fight henry and during it he takes down everyone by nitpicking their deepest insecurities, besides jack who then revives them all and they kill that bastard

>everyone leaves except for dave and jack and it’s revealed that since jack doesn’t have a soul inside him he cannot go with, so instead he gives blackjack off to dave so that he won’t be alone >jack burns down his diner with him and every freddys animatronic inside and the plot of land is turned into a gravesite for william/dave, jack, dee, peter, and steven

#[ren] #obligatory dsaf tag

[ramonahblog]

Well, time to dump my Superman and Lois(CW) bisexual headcanons on you lot. By that, I mean when they had their Bisexual Awakening/Panics and what age and what started the Bi Awakening/Panic. And by “Superman and Lois (CW)” I mean the Kent family. 

Also I used one word and there is a link to a song that propels this into 18+ content. So Obligatory 18+ warning under the cut. 

Except for Lois (which is why I said Kent instead of Lane-Kent). Because apparently my brain decided she’s the token straight in (the family) this show. I don’t know why. I can’t even make a joke about how that’s because she’s the token alienfucker because Clark fills that spot as well. And my brain is “he bi too”. 🤔🤔🤔

Damn it, it’s all the Superbat fanfics I read in my teen years, isn’t it? I’m sure there are ones where Lois wasn’t straight but the ones I read, she was (supportive) straight. 

Clark:

Bi Awakening: Pirates of the Caribbean. No, I am not projecting at all. 

He does not know the plot. Granted, being Superman meant the first few times, there was an emergency so he just assumed that was the reason for not understanding the plot. It wasn’t. It didn’t help but it wasn’t the reason.

Clark deserves to be thirsty, okay.

Why does that sound like a threat?

Age of Bi Awakening: Whatever age he was in 2003. How old are Clark and Lois supposed to be in this show? 

Reason for Age: Sometimes you discover your sexuality in adulthood. Also just wanted him to realise his sexuality because of Pirates. Once again, not projecting at all.

Jordan:

Bi Awakening: He watched Domo Wilson’s Bisexual Anthem music video and was like 😍😍😍 to everyone in the video. 

Age of Bi Awakening: Sixteen

Reason for Age: Don’t have one. Also RIP Jordan being the odd bi out. He just doesn’t like pirates.

Jon

Bi Panic: It was Pirates of the Caribbean. Lois wanted to watch it and Jon decided to watch with her. He may or may not have thought Elizabeth Swann was very pretty. Was surprised at how much he liked Will Turner. Got surprised at how much he liked the first fight scene between Will Turner and Captain Jack Sparrow.

He also doesn’t know the plot. 

Side note: Lois thinks he was just humouring her until he comes out to her at twenty-one. She wants to facepalm because she really should have put it together considering how Clark realised his bisexuality. 

Age of Bi Awakening: Thirteen. 

Reason for Age: “Even normal people hide stuff” lives rent-free in my head and everyone probably forgot about that line because it happened in like 1x07 or 1x08 or something BUT IT LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT-FREE. Fuck, at this point, I’m probably paying rent to it. So Jon was referring to being closeted. He already knows he is bisexual, just hasn’t come out. 

Maybe I should do which family member they came out first to next post. 

Huh, I just realised my intro by saying “Kent family” I would also be referring to Martha and Jonathan Sr.

You know what. Martha was bisexual. Jonathan was an ally (subject to change due to sexuality headcanons and how I end up here).  

#headcanons #bisexual headcanons #superman and lois cw #jon kent cw #jordan kent #clark kent cw #bi panic headcanons #bi awakening headcanons

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Sixteen things I noted about CR2E136 “Hell or High Water” :

3 eyes and Beau and Caleb have True Sight !!!!!! Maybe there's a bright light to those fucking eyes, like Laura said.

Ok, one thing I (kinda) knew about Campaign 2 before starting it was "Artagan is a weasel ???" and that was IT, no more context ! So let me tell you, I was still falling off my chair at the reveal that SPRINKLE IS ARTAGAN, because I'm a dumbass who did not put two and two together, or, as it is, the logical conclusion of : Jester's god is the Traveler and Jester bought a weasel -> the Traveler is in fact Artagan -> Artagan is in fact inhabiting a traumatized red weasel. BUT THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER

Caleb : "[Artagan being Sprinkle] is the only reason he's still alive." Artagan/Sprinkle : "You're not entirely wrong... it's been a journey !" I'm laughing so much oh my god, of course Sprinkle is only maintained alive by the grace of 3000 years old archfey who loves a little blue tiefling. The image alone of Sprinkle talking in Artagan's voice is sending me. I love how Jester is pretty chill with it, like "It makes perfect sense !"

THEY CAN READ EACH OTHER'S MINDS AND SEND THOUGHTS TO OTHERS ??? not even 25 minutes into this episode and so much has happened already

the DM : "These walls are smooth and there's a slight residue left on them... These walls are lined in lead." The impulsive barbarian, quietly : "I was just going to taste it, but I will leave it alone."

A time travel device ? That is Caleb's first goal !!! OOOOOooooh I see what you're doing, Mr Mercer, the temptation ! And this is relevant to Essek too ! "Correcting mistakes" indeed

They spend 20 minutes arguing what they should or should not do to avoid the monster, both in AND out of character. Liam : "This is like if we, us, not the characters, us were trying to save the world." Marisha : "How have we ran a company successfully for the past... how many - years - ?" Taliesin : "Pure luck."

THEY GOT GOT !! Lucien, the fucker, also made a clever ambush with the psychic charges !!

Yoooo, the sequence where they were trapped between the monsters and the tunnel with maybe more intuit charges was awesome, what a challenge

The stargate !! I knew it, but still it was nice to hear Matt say that this portal was linked with the Water Plane and that it was why a flow of perpetual water was coming through.

"Here's my plan : we're all cows !" ooooh nice call-back

Marisha, nervous, as she's prepared to have Beau talking to Lucien : "I'm playing a 20 charisma character next campaign." Me, checking out Laudna's stats : "not yet, but she is a warlock ! So she will get there"

Molly is still in there, either fragmented, or a piece so small it can't be seen most of the time. Except when Caleb called him "circus man"

Caleb is a sheep ! What follows is 30 minutes of sheep-related puns : "You sheep-shifted ?", "He got baaaaaaa-nished", "In space no one can hear you bleat", "Baaaaaaaa-yyye !", "Sheepleb !", "Don't be sheepish get in there", "This is shear terror", "Caleb's already hoofing it that way", "This is veal bad, you guys", *obligatory Taylor Swift goat scream reference*, "Everybody flock together", "We are wool-fully unprepared for this"

Yasha : "Where's my girlfriend ?" Matt : "Beau is 10 feet from you, on the stairs, still facing of with the creature, which is now faced in that direction. Boobs and all, facing off with Beauregard." Yasha : "She knows how to handle that !" (Marisha does a *you got that right* kind of face)

Oh my god, for all the jokes about "coming back to the beginning", the fight with the water elemental where Jester was the only one left in the room at the end gave me HUGE flashbacks of that fight with the blue dragon where she was almost left alone too (if it wasn't for Nott)

#my thoughts #critical role #cr campaign 2 #CR2E136

[andypantsx3]

subtle | shouto todoroki/reader

pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader

status: complete

length: 2,171 words

summary: Someone leaves chocolates on your desk. You're determined to track down the sender, certain it's a mistake, and Shouto Todoroki makes himself as unhelpful as possible.

tags: romance, reader-insert, fluff, valentine’s day

warnings: aged up characters (no smut though!!)

There was a box on your desk.

There was a box on your desk, and the sight of it was enough to instantly set you on edge.

The box looked normal enough, if a little fancy, maybe. Its lacquered top glinted brightly under the fluorescent office lighting, its smooth, polished sides waterfalling into the soft matte of your desktop underneath. You weren’t close enough to read the inscription, but you could just make out some elegant, curling script inlaid into the top of the box, possibly the name of whichever company had produced it.

The box looked very normal, in fact. Only, you knew it wasn’t. Boxes didn’t just show up in the middle of the Todoroki Hero Agency, a campus swimming with pros and armed with layers of security so deep it took even you--Shouto Todoroki’s manager--fifteen full minutes to get through screening every morning. It was something very much like being a prison guard at Tartarus.

So either this box meant the agency was dealing with a security breach the likes of which had scarcely been seen before, or someone had mistaken your desk for somebody else’s.

Which, considering it was Valentine’s Day, made a lot more sense.

Buoyed by the realization it wasn't a security risk, you crept closer, peering at the box, and the script resolved itself into the name of the extremely fancy chocolatier in Hiroo district that you made a point of drooling over every time you had to make a house call on Shouto. Their prices were literally insane, so you had never let yourself wander inside, unwilling to shell out an entire week’s pay for a tiny set of chocolates. Even if they did look absolutely fucking unbelievable from the window.

Your mouth watered.

That confirmed it--this was a Valentine's gift, and it was definitely a mistake. For the briefest of seconds, you’d wondered if maybe you had gotten obligatory office friendship chocolates, but this was too much. Some poor, love-sodden flop had gone out, spent their week’s pay on someone they were clearly very serious about, and then proceeded to fuck the entire thing up by plonking their gift straight onto your desk instead of their intended’s.

You frowned, quickly checking the box over for some kind of clue as to who had left it. There was no note included, nothing even mildly helpful that would give you the slightest hint of the person who'd left it here. Which left you with the question of how to return the box to the sender without knowing who they were, or how to pass it on to whoever they’d really meant it for.

You drew your bottom lip between your teeth, staring hard at the surface of the box like you could crack its code if only you glared hard enough. The box stared back at you, unhelpfully silent.

You were still skewering the box with your gaze some minutes later, determined to unravel its secrets, when a deep voice murmured from your doorway.

“You look puzzled."

You startled, whipping around to find Shouto propping up the wall, looking as unfairly handsome as usual. He was watching you intently, those heterochromatic eyes fastened to your face in that careful way he had, the one that always made you feel too warm and slightly unfocused. As usual, it was all you could do to remind yourself that you were a professional and he was something solidly between a friend and a coworker, and no matter how cute and attentive he was, you shouldn't get any ideas.

This morning, he was dressed in his hero uniform, tall and broad-shouldered, his distinctive hair only a little ruffled from his early patrol. It wasn’t often someone tried something in the districts he watched over anymore, probably too nervous to find themselves on the wrong end of the number four hero’s temper. You knew from the reports you received to your phone that the only trouble he’d encountered this morning was a pack of amorous school girls purposely misusing their quirks to draw his attention.

Thirty minutes ago, in fact, you’d almost spit out your coffee laughing at a photo of him looking wildly uncomfortable as he attempted to ice down some girl’s lava quirk with his right hand while fighting off her unfathomably enormous bouquet with his left. It was only right that he should suffer once a year, when every other day he got to stalk about as handsome as you please, oblivious to the effects his appearance had on every breathing person within a five mile radius.

You gave him an absent nod, gaze drawn back to the box on your desk.

“Somebody accidentally left something in here,” you told him, gesturing to it. “I’m trying to figure out how to track down who it was, or who it was meant for.”

Shouto made a small noise in the back of his throat, almost like a cough, and it was enough to startle you into looking up at him again.

“What?” you asked, peering at him. Was he coming down with something? It wasn't often he got sick, but when he did, he usually attempted to hide it and needed to be steamrolled into taking time off. You looked him over, trying to assess whether or not you needed to start badgering him now.

Shouto gazed back at you evenly, his expression deceptively bland. “...You think it’s not for you.”

You felt yourself blink at him, surprised by the comment and struggling to discern his meaning. What did he mean, you think it’s not for you? “Of course it’s not for me, Shouto, it’s from Grégoire Chardin.”

You knew he’d know the place, considering he lived in the same fancy rich people neighborhood as the chocolatier, but Shouto looked unimpressed.

“Why should that mean it’s not for you?” he asked, his tone dry.

The remark caught you off guard, as his comments sometimes did, and you bit down something like a smile. Bless his sweet, oblivious, rich boy heart. Either he overestimated your appeal to his agency staff, or he really did not understand the concepts of cost and return on investment.

“It’s expensive, it’s not something you would give someone as obligatory chocolates,” you explained, watching as a white eyebrow went up. His expression sharpened into something you couldn’t read well.

“It could be a secret admirer,” he said.

You stared blankly back at him, absolutely floored by the idea.

He thought you had a secret admirer? The idea sent an excited thrill all the way down to your toes, but you quickly squashed the feeling. So far, you'd never been on the receiving end of any furtive but romantic gestures, and you really didn't get any interested vibes from anyone in the office, no lingering glances or excuses to spend more time with you. The person who paid you the most amount of attention was Shouto, which was to be expected, considering how closely you worked together. And obviously he wasn't interested, he was just happy to stand in your doorway spouting wild conspiracies about his agency staffers like they were completely reasonable things to say.

“I don’t have a secret admirer,” you told him.

Shouto’s mouth pressed into a thin line and he took an intent step forward into your office. “Is the point of a secret admirer not to be exactly that--secret? How can you be sure?”

You couldn’t help it--you gaped at him, your face going weirdly warm. Okay, was he--was he serious? You obviously weren’t the most unfortunate creature on earth, and you even had your good days, but nobody in their right mind was going to attempt anything with you when there were girls like Nejire Hado and Ibara Shiozaki roaming the hallways of his agency. Even several of the analysts and most of the support crew had you beat out in terms of appeal--literally bless this man for his obvious indifference to your appearance.

“I, uh--thanks for your confidence in me,” you said, fighting down a laugh. “But I assure you, it definitely wasn’t meant for me. I just have to figure out who left it and who they meant it for.”

Shouto shifted impatiently, like he was waiting for something.

“You’re so certain,” he said, sounding frustrated.

“Of course I am,” you waved at him vaguely. It was actually super cute that he thought you could net yourself a dude who was willing to shell out Grégoire Chardin dollars, but you were just wasting time now, lingering over the least important part of this entire affair. “Listen, Shouto. I know sometimes men talk in the locker rooms. If you--if you hear anything, will you let me know? I just want to return it, it looks way too good sitting here.”

It was actually taking all your willpower not to open it and avail yourself of Japan’s finest chocolate, considering you would never have another opportunity like this again. Maybe you should just pretend it was for you....Really, no one could fault you for opening something left in your own office. But...no. No, you knew better.

Shouto appeared indifferent to your internal struggle. He watched you for a long moment, his features impassive. “Under one condition,” he finally allowed.

You cocked an ear to show you were listening, rifling around with the paperwork on your desk to distract yourself from the chocolate. You were strong, a good person. You had willpower like steel. You did not need to eat it, no no no.

“If no one comes looking for it by the end of the day, you will open it,” he said, moving closer.

You glanced up at him, shocked. “Shouto, this is someone else’s gift,” you hissed. “I can’t just open it.”

He placed a large palm down on your desk, leaning over you slightly. “That is my bargain.”

“You want me to steal somebody’s shit in your own agency,” you accused him. You tried not to pay attention to how close he had gotten, how straight his nose was up close, the way his eyes seemed brighter and his mouth pulled into a pout almost too pretty for a man.

The rest of his expression slipped into something like annoyance, matching his pout. “If no one comes for it, then it must be evident that it was meant for you.”

You suppressed a derisive laugh. Now was not the time to get shirty with your own boss, especially when his delusions were kind of sweet. It was honestly just short of a miracle that a man who looked like Shouto did could possibly think anyone on earth would have a thing for you, regardless of his own tastes.

“What if they’re just too shy to ask for it back?” you asked, watching those heterochromatic eyes flick over you curiously.

“If it’s as expensive as you say, someone will come looking,” he said. Which was actually kind of annoyingly reasonable.

A smirk flitted across his maddeningly perfect face when you failed to come up with another argument. He had a point, and he knew it.

You let out a gusty sigh. “Fine, but only because I’m certain someone will come looking for it. Please be subtle when you’re gathering info, okay? I'm sure this is embarrassing for whoever made this mistake.”

Shouto looked almost offended. “I am perfectly capable of being subtle,” he intoned in his deep voice.

This time, you did laugh. He was quiet, maybe, very perceptive, and unobtrusive when he wanted to be, but no one had ever accused the man of possessing tact. “Yeah, okay. Just, try to channel more subtlety than you think you need, okay? No one else but the sender needs to know about the mix up.”

There was a moment of silence, and then Shouto was leaning over you more fully, eyes glittering strangely as his clean, fresh scent met your nose. You froze in your chair, brain going horrifyingly vacant as he leaned impossibly nearer. What the fuck was he doing?

“It will be like I’m not even asking,” Shouto promised, his voice light. “Not asking anyone at all.”

You tried to scrape your thoughts back into something resembling order, but the effort was all but futile. You needed to get him out of your space stat before you embarrassed yourself.

”Okay, then it’s a deal,” you said quickly. “Now go...flambé a villain or something.”

Shouto lingered for a long moment, his mouth curling a little at the corner, like he was being let in on a secret you couldn’t hear. His eyes brushed over you, almost like a physical touch. And then he was gone, pulling open the door to your office, looking annoyingly pleased with himself.

“You will see,” he said by way of farewell. “You will find out how subtle I can be.”

You stared at him in confusion, but he didn’t explain himself. He just smirked, and closed the door behind himself.

#todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #bnha #bnha fanfic #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #shouto todoroki x reader

[getosboobies]

matchablossom fic recs for every mood <3

remember to check tags & warnings !

can't stop this feelings i got (this high)

summary: "It says 'you're handsome', this time."

Kaoru promptly choked on his water to laugh. "Wow, high praise," he teased. Kojiro stabbed his thigh lightly with his pen as retaliation. "Let me guess, if there's another one tomorrow, you'd collect all of them like old people collect stamps."

"Hey, they're beautiful!" Kojiro defended himself.

word count: 1643

Say It With Flowers

summary: It’s only as Hiromi’s driving away that the implications of the afternoon’s events come together fully in his mind.

First, he’s met both Joe and Cherry Blossom as their normal day-to-day selves.

Second, Joe and Cherry seem to be dating. Or something.

Third, Joe and Cherry still have absolutely no idea who Hiromi is.

Vaguely pre-canon. Joe/Cherry with Shadow POV.

word count: 6431

but i hedge my bets on love

summary: In which Kaoru recognises the poor timing of reminiscing over his ex on his way to a wedding.

word count: 8479

sugar on your tongue

summary: He isn't sure why provoking his best friend is so fun, but he can't stop himself from adding "thought I'd make something delicate, like you."

And yeah, he clearly has a death wish. Because Cherry's knuckles are still swollen from the last fight he got into, and he's suddenly crowding into Joe's space as he hisses "What did you just call m—" Joe picks up one of the desserts and pops it into his mouth before he can finish the sentence.

word count: 226

Does It Ever Stop?

summary: An exploration of what could have happened if Kaoru had been just a little less lucky. ( note: character death, made me cry lol)

word count: 881

How I Need You

summary: Kojiro takes Kaoru to the hospital and in his attempts to keep himself awake, Kaoru lets slip a few words that make Kojiro's heart leap.

word count: 3062

believe you when you say it like that

summary: “Carla,” Kojiro begrudgingly fits his thumb to the scanner outside Kaoru’s apartment.

“Joe.” Is it possible for an AI to sound disdainful?

But he’s let in anyway. He knows Kaoru well enough to duck, narrowly avoiding the beaded throw pillow Kaoru lobs at him.

word count: 2041

sunflower seeds

summary: A hacking cough, that’s what it is. Yellow petals with specks of blood, Kaoru didn't understand it at all.

(Or, Kaoru’s so hopelessly in love with someone, yet he doesn’t even know who he’s fallen for.)

word count: 6062

Do you still remember being young?

summary: “Remember when we were like that?” he asks his companion. Kaoru raises his sight from the glass of red wine between his fingers to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Young?” he replies, making Kojiro snort and roll his eyes.

“You just turned 30, Kaoru. You’re not old.”

word count: 903

hopeless and oblivious.

summary: “Wh- what?”

Adam doesn’t miss a beat.

“You’re hopeless. And oblivious.”

word count: 1120

can't sleep (without you)

summary: Joe wakes to the sound of his bedroom window creaking open. A moment later, his best friend is climbing through, all slender limbs and pink hair. And, okay, that's unexpected. Because it's nearly three o'clock in the morning, and more importantly, Joe's room is on the second floor.

"What the fuck, Cherry?"

Cherry closes the window with a shrug, "I couldn't sleep."

word count: 525

unexpected delivery

summary: In which Kaoru writes a love letter addressed to no one in particular that Kojiro happens to pick up one day.

word count: 2714

Things That We Have Been

summary: "I said, I overheard the kids and Shadow today. They were making a huge bet about us."

Kaoru hummed at that, his curiosity piqued a little. "What about us?"

"Langa said that we are dating, Reki said we're exes who still care about each other," Kojiro answered, opening his fingers one by one. "Miya, that little minx, said that we're still pining. Shadow said we're fuck buddies."

word count: 1877

A Magical City Called Paris

summary: "“I’m not a chicken!” Cherry snapped. Bingo. “And I’m not scared!”

Joe leaned forwards on the table, his face coming awfully close to Cherry’s as he smirked and said, “Then prove it.”

Cherry’s eyebrows shot up, then he frowned, grabbed his glass, gulped down the last of his drink and stood up.

“Fine,” he said. “Let’s go fucking dance, Kojiro.”"

*********

or, my version of what (really) happened on joe and cherry's alleged trip to paris.

word count: 2933

To the place where the sea sleeps

summary: " I love you, kojiro, " (note: character death)

word count: 783

Love Someone

summary: Kaoru brings dates to Kojiro’s restaurant but Kojiro often just whisks them away the moment they see him. Kaoru feigns annoyance, he couldn’t care less, and Kojiro’s just looking out for Kaoru, though he doesn’t want to admit it.

Alternately, two idiots think they’re smart but in reality, they’re just dumb childhood dorks in love with each other.

word count: 3049

endings (but also beginnings)

summary: "You're-" Reki starts, then stops, rocking back on his heels. "You're you."

Kojiro has no clue what that's supposed to mean. "I am?" he agrees, but it comes out sounding like a question.

He watches Reki fidget for a moment, clearly struggling to find the words he wants. "Um," he says. He's looking everywhere except his face. "How do you... how do you come out to someone?"

word count: 4063

only wanna be with you

summary: Taking a trip to Vegas. Drinking too much. Marrying your best friend. A tale as old as time.

The obligatory "we accidentally got married in Vegas" fic.

word count: 8641

i’ll make sure to add more at some point !! hope this is a good list for now :) feel free to leave your fics/recs in reblogs or replies !! i’ll check them out :)

#fic recs #sk8 the infinity #sk8 #matcha blossom #matchablossom #sk8 cherry blossom #cherry blossom #joecherry #kaoru sakurayashiki #cherry blossom x joe #cherry

[kampfkuchen85]

His personal nurse - Part 3

Characters: Shiba Taiju, Kokonoi Hajime, reader (mentioned)

Note: Please keep in mind that english isn't my first language.

Part 1 - previous - Part 3 - next

Masterlist

=============================================

A few days had passed. He had seen you more frequently. Always standing at the sidelines. No matter who their enemy was. Aren't you scared that any of those guys would hurt you by mistake? Well, none of the members of the Black Dragons would do that, that's obvious. By now they had all seen you, always at Kokonois side. Even rumors were spread. They said that you are Kokonois girlfriend, but no one had proof of that and Taiju never saw you two getting intimate in any kind of way. No hugs, no kisses, not even holding hands. Only a few times you were clinging onto Kokonois arm, but that's it. Too less to spread rumors like that.

Today was a usual Friday. The Black Dragons had their obligatory meeting at a shrein. 9 pm, the sun long gone. Discussing the plans to defeat annoying new gangs, who thought they could stand a chance against them, and to recruit new people to increase their army. Everything is according to the plan and Taiju was satisfied.

“The meeting is over. Everyone is dismissed!”, he yelled, so that all of them could hear him. Then he approached Kokonoi. “Not you, Koko. We still have some business to discuss.”

He waited till there were only the two of them left.

“I´m getting right to the point. I want to recruit Y/N.”

Kokonoi looked confused at his captain. “Huh? Why? You know that she's a girl?! She's weak. She's not useful.” And she is none of your fucking business, he thought, gritting his teeth.

“Inupi told me otherwise. You know what he called her? Your personal nurse.”

Kokonoi stiffens, knowing what his boss had in mind. Recruiting you? To patch Taiju up after a fight? Playing HIS nurse? Why you? Anyone could do that. That wasn't rocket science. He made a mental note to scold Inupi for his loose mouth. He doesn't want you to get even more involved in this gang stuff. He knows Taiju makes no difference between boy or girl, but….

He sighed, there was no use in giving his boss a contradiction.

“And what´s my role in that?”

“You are the one who's bringing her here”, looking at him with an already victorious smile. 

“And when she refuses to come with me?”

“I saw you two interacting at your cute, little school festival and by the way you treated each other, she won´t say No. She's already calling you by your first name. Ha-ji-me!” , mocking him with calling him by his first name as well.

He's leaning back at the wooden planks of the shrein. 

“Tell me more about her”, he requested.

Kokonoi paused for a moment to sort his thoughts. He doesn't want to reveal everything about you. Just some irrelevant stuff.

“Her name is L/N Y/N and she´s the same age as me. We´re in the same class. She lives with her father and her older brother. Her parents got divorced and her mother lives overseas”, ending his speech. 

Taiju is listening in silence. “Those are some interesting facts, but I want to know if she's worth it. Inupi told me she's doing a pretty good job with patching you up. Is that true?”

Koko nodded. He couldn't lie to his boss. Yes, you were good at what you are doing. No doubt, but....

Pushing back from the wooden wall, he laughed in a deep tone. “That's all I wanted to hear. On our next meeting, next friday, I want to see her right next to you. Do you understand that?” 

Kokonoi nodded again, hiding his clenched fists, while his boss started to walk away. 

Damn. How should he do that? He needs a plan. Luring you to the shrine by telling you a fake story, fake promises? He knows you would be really mad at him, but what's left for him?

“See you, Koko”, looking back over his shoulder, “oh, and if she doesn't want to accompany you, you´ve got money, don´t you? Girls love money.” 

Then he disappeared into the night.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #shiba taiju #taiju shiba #kokonoi hajime #hajime kokonoi #tokyo revengers x yn #tokyo revengers x you #tokrev #black dragon #toman #tokyo revengers scenarios #taiju x reader

[morvantmortuary]

welcome to greymoon -

(rarae aves’s assorted slasher/necromancer OCs)

author is Rarae/Rae, 30, bi & non-binary/genderqueer (they/them). personal is @raraeavesmoriendi (formerly @raemoriendi)

minors still dni

I do not consent for any of these to be copy/pasted/transferred/translated/etc. to any site other than where these originally appear without my express permission, aka Not at All.

podfic is fine and welcome, if that’s a thing you’d want to do for any reason.

standing policy rn is that if you’re waiting on a response from maxi or any other oc that should appear, give me about a day or so unless it’s a weekend - I’m juggling work and prepping to write a dissertation, so my life is a slow motion tornado lmao

obligatory dark fic content disclaimer

reader note: I generally view my Reader characters as non-binary, like myself, but they wear dresses for disguises sometimes and are referred to by some characters with fem petnames, so I mark them as fem just so they don’t trigger anyone other non-binary person’s dysphoria. Gender is a fuck, idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(all the dividers used on this blog are by Daisy at @firefly-graphics, just fyi!)

Morvant Mortuary Vol. I: Final Them (The October Arc)

(The main storyline, focusing on Maxi and his Reader. Probably the best place to start to get a sense of everyone. Chapters cover the events of October 2021 - February 2022, shortly after Maxi’s initial introduction in September 2021 and including Hex and Rora’s introductions on Oct. 1st.)

The Morvant Comfort Masterlist

(A collection of soft asks about the Morvants taking care of their beloved Reader. Ranging from heavy topics to light and fluffy preference posts.)

Morvant Mortuary Playlists

(All playlists I’ve posted having to do with characters, AUs, arc plots, and anything else I can come up with an excuse to post one for lol)

Art Tag

(Art of various types done by really kind, talented people!!)

Maximilian “Maxi” Vincent Morvant:

Most current info sheet here.

“let’s get acquainted, shall we?” (pre-October Arc introduction post)

dating maxi morvant hcs (18+, mdni)

maxi reacting to being bitten affectionately

after midnight (18+, mdni)

wait for you, hon (18+, mdni)

maxi and the grade school field trip

maxi and kids

maxi and disney movies

maxi’s secret love of musicals

we don’t fight fair (18+, mdni)

to discover us would be fatal (18+, mdni)

maxi totally wears sock garters and shirt stays (18+, mdni)

if maxi had a youtube channel

maxi’s first bi panic

let me dirty up your mind (18+, mdni)

hearse maintenance

blood fest I: our strange duet (18+, mdni)

it hurts because you’re alive

decompression

the boy au masterlist (18+, mdni)

general tags: maxi morvant/maximilan vincent morvant

aesthetic tag: maxi vibes

Hector “Hex” Emile Morvant-Casares: 

Most current info sheet here.

“spirit photography is making a comeback, you know.” (first intro post)

hector morvant-casares dating hcs (18+, mdni)

no mistakes, know the stakes (18+, mdni)

hector’s motives

hector dessert preferences

hex and Just Dance

hex giving magnolia a plastic bolillo to play with

hector preferences: harshest thing someone ever said, last thing he cried over, who he’d apologize to

no confíes en mi (18+, mdni)

hex preference ask: childhood tv shows, tattoos/piercings, people he hates

don’t ask me how I’ve been (wip)

el quiere sangre

blood fest II: touching in the dark (18+, mdni)

general tags: hector morvant-casares/hector emile morvant-casares

aesthetic tag: hector vibes

(the late) Aurore “Rora” Maria Morvant:

Most current info sheet here.

“oh joy, another one.” (first intro post)

aurore “rora” morvant dating hcs (18+, mdni)

be the sunlight in my everyday (18+, mdni)

rora being seduced by her s/o for the first time (18+, mdni)

rora and her nightmares

5 songs that fit rora

rora’s tell when she’s lying

light the sky and hold on tight (18+)

general tags: rora morvant/aurore maria morvant

aesthetic tag: rora vibes

The Miraculous Seth Sunday:

“you can call me seth. all my friends do.” (intro post)

seth sunday dating hcs (18+, mdni)

general tags: seth sunday/the miraculous mr. sunday

aesthetic tag: seth vibes

Morvant Mortuary (The House, Greymoon, The Family Reunited):

the fam and their s/o expressing interest in their occupation

the fam and planning holiday gifts

Scooby Doo and the Haunted Mortuary

describing the Morvants’ voices

...and now their singing voices!

the Morvants and leaving hickies (mdni, 18+)

cozy winter preference asks

The Morvants Are All Bi (more commentary than anything)

fam ask: a secret they’ll take to their grave, hallucinations

fam ask: what you’d say to utterly destroy them

fam preference ask: them at school, them w/ animals, favorite insults

the Morvants and a lonely childhood (ft. friends of the family)

the fam and their pajama preferences

how the Morvants get off when they first get obsessed with you (18+, mdni)

ancient history

Greymoon Knows (sorta)

the Morvants each reacting to an unexpected hug

sweetweirds

In Progress (requests in no set order) -

paparazzi (“the way you say my name is intoxicating” + Hex for Tiddy)

like you hate me when you love me (“I need you to breathe” + Maxi, for Rose)

The Morvants and an s/o who’s a virgin (ask)

Magnolia and living kitties (ask)

(Maxi + “You know I’m holdin’ you back from fuckin’ you over this kitchen counter - don’t push your luck.” for Lorna)

On Deck (in no order) -

let me desecrate you (“I get so blind with jealousy” + Maxi, for Ash)

leave it to fright (“I wonder how much more beautiful you would look when I tear you apart" + Rora, for Tiddy)

...and I liked it ("You know you're mine, right? you belong to me, my love.” + Rora for nonny)

return to me, my love ("I better leave my mark on you so everyone knows you're mine~” + Rora for nonny)

(Hex + “I had this dream and - fuck - you couldn’t keep your hands off me.” for Tiddy)

(Hex + “Is it good when I touch you here? Or maybe here?”/“Don’t think so much, just let your body take control.”/“Oh, Querida, you’re drooling everywhere.” + Reader who hasn’t done things in a while for nonny)

(Hex + “Come one more time for me baby, I know you’ve got it in you.” for Jess)

(Hex + “Quiet baby, the others will hear.” for Linds)

* feel free to also check all the same tags over at the original blog @raraenoctes​ to see if there’s anything I missed bringing over!

#maxi morvant #maximilian vincent morvant #hector emile morvant-casares #hector morvant-casares #hex morvant-casares #aurore maria morvant #rora morvant #final them #seth sunday #the miraculous mr. sunday #morvant mortuary #monsterkisser fics #slasher oc #magician oc #slasher oc playlists #southern slasher oc #necromancer oc #slasher oc x reader insert #slasher oc x you #daniel brühl fc #diego luna fc #eva green fc #david dastmalchian fc #no use of y/n #non-binary reader #genderqueer reader #curvy reader #plus size reader #fat reader #minors dni

[noritoshiikamo]

game over

pairing: noritoshi kamo + fem!oc genre: angst tags//warning: established relationship, wild gojo appeared // blood, character death, emotion distress, mention of shibuya  note: the obligatory trio of mine: not well edited, lowercase intended, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. note that i put descriptions of the characters i write so it would be easier for me, you’re free to imagine the character the way you seem fits! okay listen imma be honest i dont like this part that much dhhdbdjksncjddiem and im sorry if it sucks bcs istg i cant compete to part 1 and 2 of it so IM SORRY tagging @unabashednightmarepizza @sassyeahhhh @dok-ja @sukirichi [bold means i cant tag u idky :( lemme know if wanna be tagged in the next part] read the first part | second part | third part | bonus

few years ago;

“you’re fucking ridiculous!”

“you’re injured, how the fuck is it me that’s being unreasonable?”

she contemplated stabbing him straight to his chest. “i’m fine, leave me alone,” she hissed, holding on to her arm as she tried to limp away. second year jujutsu student noritoshi kamo wondered how the hell one could be this stubborn. with blood caked up on the side of her face, lips busted and bruising in the corner, not to mention the broken arm and probably twisted ankle, he could not understand how one could be this reckless and stupid, it’s almost ridiculous.

but here she is standing in front of him.

“you could’ve let me handle it,” he said, coldly.

she never turned that fast in her life; her limping leg suddenly worked fine as she hauled her ass, throwing both fists to his chest. the force put was enough to threw him back a few steps, he caught her wrists holding her from falling down. “stop acting like i’m so fragile. i can exorcist the curse just fine. you make me hate you so much,” she spitted, pure rage etched on her face, “just because i’m a girl, because i’m your girl, i’m weak. please, i am as good as you are, kamo.”

their faces were so close, he could count the freckles spread on her nose and cheeks. he loves her eyes the very first time he caught glimpse of it; one is a dull brown while the other looks like it carries the secret of the bright blue sea. this time, the eyes he loves looked hopeless, lack of the burning spirit she carried with tears threatening to spill. letting go of a wrist, his trembling hand brushed the hair coated with the blood back, carefully not to hurt her. “i never said you are bad,” he clarified, fingers busy brushing the hair back. his sudden reaction surprised her, and her body betrayed her thoughts as she eased in his arms.

he tilted her chin, his head was panicking as he realised that his brain was no longer controlling his movement as he leaned down and kissed her.

she tasted like blood.

she winced, pain aching on the swollen part and he apologized so quietly as he deepened the kiss. “nori-” her voice croaked as she swallowed his moans. he hummed, satisfied by the kiss. their foreheads rest against each other, the tip of their noses touched as they struggled to catch breath.

“stop being stupid. let me help you okay?”

“okay.”

slipping his arm under hers, he helped her walk, leading them out of the abandoned building they managed to exorcist. nothing major, a couple of pestering level three and four curses that them both handled well but their supervisor missed to tell them about the hiding level two curse that took them by surprise. she had become the curse’s main target.

if she would’ve just listened to him and stay close. he sighed.

“ouch, ouch,” she cried, clutching on her left leg, forcing him to stop. impatient, he slipped his hand under her knees, lifting her up in his arms. she apologized profusely, embarrassed to be such a burden to him. he brushed it off immediately.

“did you call them? told them that we are done?”

she gasped, “wait, i thought they’ll wait for us.”

he huffed, “you’re not that important, y/n. give them a call, please. i want to go home.”

kicking the door open, the moonlight shone on them as he carried her down to the bottom stairs. settling her down on the steps, he sat beside her, letting a long sigh. he watched as she took the call, letting them know that she was slightly injured, and they need to go back asap. she was visibly tired, and he was the same too.

he couldn’t help but to sigh at the way the moonlight enveloped her. he had loved her from the very first moment he caught his eyes on her; she caught him staring, called him out publicly and ignored all his advances. it took him a lot to court her. she’s a gojo, she can have anything and everything with the sky is the limit.

but one thing money could never buy is affection.

it started with little stuffs; noritoshi waiting for her with her lunch readied every day. it annoyed her but momo (who was secretly rooting for him) forced her to just do it. “it’s just a lunch,” momo said sheepishly. noritoshi would have them paired all the time for the missions. she’d accepted it with open heart. noritoshi would also teach her how to weld a bow and shoot arrows. she promised that she would go out on date with him if he taught her.

by the end of their first year, they became inseparable.

the idea of being apart from her hurts him physically and mentally. she took a sharp breath when he laced his fingers between her own, quickly telling the other person on the phone that she was okay. “it was just noritoshi,” she replied with a small laugh. their hands fit each other; his skin contrasted her slightly tanned skin. while his hands were rough from welding the bow and he kept his nail short and clean, hers were slightly softer with her nails painted prettily. this month she had her nails painted in pastel. all the girls’ day out with momo and mai had proven its importance. he was happy to provide her with his black card despite her discontent.

“analysing my hands now?”

he smiled slightly, “it looks very pretty. i guess i got my money worth. are they coming?”

she leaned on his shoulder, his own wrapped around her as she closed her eyes, “they are around the corner. i would definitely need another round this week,” she teased. kissing her forehead gently, he didn’t mind that his uniform was stained with her blood; he was glad that she’s safe.

“i’ll happily take you there.”

few years later;

noritoshi kamo almost lost his mind. the stadium was half destroyed, huge craters on the pitch with the sight of his wife nowhere to be found. he looked up to the black pitch curtain encasing the stadium area from the sky, a curse escaped his lips.

“where the fuck are you?” he grunted, scanning the area.

she is gone, his stubborn little wife. she could’ve just wait but annoyed that their dinner date was interrupted and eager because this was their first mission together as a married couple; she escaped his supervision. as they were dealing with minor curses outside, she decided to head on forward, leaving him to deal with whatever is left. he beat himself inside for letting her come, he could easily do this himself and send her home safely, but she blinked her eyes and he was weak. she always has her way with him.

his step stopped when he realised there was a shadow ahead.

“she’s pretty,” the thing said.

his blood ran cold, “what did you do to my wife?”

the curse let out a laugh. it was sinister enough to send chills down his spine. especially when he realised the head it was stepping on was his wife. her eyes were fluttering back and forth, struggling to stay awake. a howl shocked him, shivers down his spine at the painful whimpers her shikigami making. cursed spirits were devouring it alive, overwhelming it and chewing every part of its body. his wife was too weak to dispel the shikigami; it’s dangerous as the devoured wolf shikigami will drain her cursed energy by a second.

all shikigami linked directly to the owner; everything inflected to the wolf, she could feel it too.

he needed a plan.

hidden in his wedding ring was a retractable knife. he rarely carries blood bags anymore as his power solidified itself. the older he got, the better he was at using and controlling a small steady flow of his own blood straight from the tap. with a clap of his hands, the knife cut his hand enough to send blood shooting like bullets. the blood hit the curses straight to its cores, died out instantly on impact, but the shikigami was beyond salvageable. it let out one last howl, one last goodbye before dropping to the ground, half of his snout gone. she will be devastated, it’s her only shikigami she managed to tame at such a young age, but at least it has stopped the shikigami from stripping his wife’s cursed energy to its core.

the fire burning in his eyes only made the curse laughed. he kicked her body away, spurting blood out of her mouth. she was halfway close to death’s doorstep.

“i will fucking murder you,” he hissed.

“my blood is my power. it’s supposed to rot human, stripping its meat from the bone like acid. however,” the curse nudged her body, “your wife didn’t. humour me, did your blood tainted hers? tell me, i’m curious how.”

“are you going to chit chat because i don’t have whole day.” his blood dripped on the pitch.

the curse grinned, shrugging his shoulder. he kneeled, running his bloody fingers on her cheeks leaving trails of flowers pattern that dissipated immediately, “i’m not here to fight. i’m here to serve a warning,” he looked up to the tensed sorcerer, “for gojo satoru. tell him, we’ll be waiting for him in shibuya.” noritoshi’s face scrunched in confusion.

“we have no business with the gojos.”

“but she is. she could change her name, married you, but it doesn’t erase the fact that she carried gojo’s blood in her vein. she’s the bridge to your two clans. i’m just killing two birds with one stone. ruin the kamo clan’s relationship with gojos and hurt gojo satoru. all thanks to her,” the curse turned his back on him, his laugh echoed as he walked away. the dark curtain disappeared slowly as the ground rumbled. a perfect chance for noritoshi to strike if it wasn’t because of the cursed spirit’s words gluing him to his spot, “oh, kamo, i believe a congratulation is overdue. let me know when’s the baby is due, i would love to drop by personally.”

the pillar holding on to the roof collapsed sending wave of dust all over the place. noritoshi covered his face, coughing as he sucked some in, removing his coat as a shield. the cursed spirit was no where to be found.

“the place is going to collapse! i’ll get the curse, you go get her!”

a voice echoed and he caught a glimpse of blond hair running past him and noritoshi didn’t think twice as he sprinted around the cracks and holes. who was that voice or who was the curse, he couldn’t give a single fuck, he just wants his wife back. he was shaking when he got to her, arms immediately scooped her up in his arms. her chest was raising slowly, blood dripping on the side of her lips as she struggled to exhale.

“you’re going to be okay,”

he told her, but he wasn’t sure if he will ever be.

-

“can you turn down the stupid light, it’s hurting my eyes.”

the voice laughed melodiously, the light moved to the other eye repeating the same thing.

“as you can see, she’s awake, slightly weak, but she should be okay.”

another voice interrupted, “are you sure?” she gasped, excited to hear a familiar voice. “nori?” she called out, unable to open her eyes, relying strictly to her hearing as she reached her shaky hands out for him. “her senses might be slightly off, just let her do it herself,” the woman’s voice noted, and she felt annoyed. how dare you underestimate me, her mind scoffed.

“my senses are fine. see?” she claimed as she held noritoshi’s hand up. he smiled, gently rubbing her hand with encouragement. “thanks, shoko, we are fine.”

“i’ll leave you be then. call me if you need anything.”

she listened to the clacking of shoko’s heels, followed by the door opening and slamming shut. she jumped, but he held her hand tighter, reassuring her that it’s alright. “so why can’t i see?” she asked, confident that they are alone now. she felt the bed sunk a little on the left side, “you were high on anesthesia, i’m surprise you could even move your jaw to speak.” she felt a finger brushed her hair aside, breath loomed on her face and she could feel her own face reddening up.

“are you going to kiss me or are you just going to tease me?” his heart swell up, despite her shaky voice almost made him laugh.

“do you trust me?” his hand cupped her cheek gently.

she nodded eagerly, “always.”

“good.”

his kiss hit her like a waft of fresh air. every kiss felt like a first kiss to her that she couldn’t help to react so eagerly to it. his tongue slipped through her defense, overwhelming her taste buds with such strong taste of iron. it didn’t stop her. she knew what he was doing from start. he peeked a little, didn’t stop a second from kissing her as he watched his blood marking appeared on her face. her hands went up around her neck pulling him closer and he obeyed, deepening the kiss.

heal; his mind commanded.

after a while, she pulled back, being the one to break apart from the kiss first, her chest raising up and down as she struggled to catch her breath. her eyes were wide open now, fluttering lazily as she leaned back on the propped-up pillow. he wiped the corner of his lips, eyes on her as he watched the open wound on her face and arms slowly closed leaving the fresh healed red marks behind. he relaxed when he heard a thank you coming from her, as she checked her healed arms.

“i’m disappointed with you,” he finally broke the silence.

“really?” she frowned. he always does this thing where he will immediately go into lecture mood every time she does something that pisses him off. it’s almost like a game to her as she waited for him to explode, “right now? not even going to wait until i’m discharged. this is a new record, toshi. like shoko said, i’m fine.” he shook his head, “it doesn’t make it right. you always disobeyed me. ignored my orders, going about with your goddamn big head, you could’ve been killed.”

she rolled her eyes, noritoshi is being noritoshi, what a drama queen, she mentally rolled her eyes, “but i’m not,” she pushed her hair back, twisting it easily into a simple loose knot, “i told you, i am not weak.”

“your shikigami was destroyed, your blood was poisoned, 70 percent was already circulating to every part of your vein, i had to beg for the higher up to help purify your blood,” her smile died down. this game no longer feels fun for her. noritoshi was really mad this time. “you think it’s fun and all game but game over, y/n. you need to stop doing this. if you can’t do it for me, do it for yourself.”

“leave me alone, nori, if you just going to nag, please i don’t want to hear it. i’m tired.”

it made him angry that she was taking his word lightly. running his hand in his messy hair, he felt like hauling his head to the wall.

“you don’t understand-”

she slammed her hand on the bed, interrupting his words, “no YOU don’t understand me, i’m tired of you babying me. i’m an adult, i am your wife, stop treating me like a fucking child! we have been married for months, but god you’re suffocating me.”

“i will when you stop endangering yourself. i will stop treating your like a child when you stop acting like one. you’re pregnant, for the love of god!” he threw his hand on the wall. the wall cracked from the force. “i’m what?” she felt the world stopped spinning. she was hundred percent sure that her ears and head were deceiving her. he removed his hand from the hole he made on the wall, his body shaking from the amount of anger building up.

“noritoshi, answer me! what do you mean- i’m not pregnant, i had my period this month.”

“you are,” he shrugged. he felt something hit him in the back; looking down he saw the fluffy white pillow sitting by his feet.

he pointed to the bedside table where a sonogram perched up against a tissue box. she was about to lose her mind. “this is not funny, if this is your mean way of fucking me up because i won’t listen to you then this is just fucking cruel.”

he marched towards him, his hand went down on his chin, forcing her eyes on him, “until you stop playing your stupid games, until you stop treating your life like it’s nothing, until you consider my feelings and my worries, as your husband is valid, i do not exist in your life,” tears fell down her cheeks, “like you, i’m tired too.

“nori i-“

he left her before she could say a word. she broke into sob; her chest was pounding so hard that the blood pressure monitor was beeping. the door burst opened but it was not the face she wanted to see. she was immediately hysterical. satoru managed to hold her wrist down before she ripped the tubes and needles off her arms. “no, no, i want nori. where is he!” she screamed as satoru held her down. “you need to calm down, it’s not good for the baby,” satoru cooed, but she was not having it. he turned to shoko, “her cursed energy is skyrocketing, she’s going hysterical, do something!”

“let me go!”

shoko held out a syringe, “hold her down.”

she screamed, thrashing so rough that she almost slipped out of the strongest sorcerer’s hands. she managed to get a needle out before she felt another sharp pain on her back. shoko pulled the empty needle out and they retreated away as she fell on her butt backward. she was reduced to a babbling mess, her eyes drooped as she struggled to fight the waves of sleepiness hitting her one after another.

“tell him i’m sorry,” she croaked out, before everything turned completely dark.

the blood pressure monitor returned back to normal.

three days later;

“are you still going to ignore her? it’s been 3 days.”

“she needs to learn her place.”

gojo satoru disagreed. he eyed the head of the clan, shaking his head before standing up. he thought he could convince noritoshi kamo to visit his wife, but the man was as stubborn as- huh, her.

“i think she have learned enough, she’s miserable. you’re miserable.”

the man glared at the blonde man child, raising the cup of tea up for a sip. the tea doesn’t taste as good as the way she made it. he left her for 3 days and he found himself struggling to do everything alone. 

he, noritoshi kamo, 23 years old and the head of the kamo family, could not make a cup of fucking tea.

she always said that the best way to make tea depends on how long you let it steep. “too early and you won’t get the right amount of flavour,” she explained, her back facing him as he watched from the counter as she loomed over the stove, “but if you steep it way too long you going to burn the tea leaves and it will make everything taste bitter.” she turned around, a huge smile on her face that made his heart skipped a beat.

he frowned; the tea tasted bitter.

“she’s pregnant, she’s supposed to be crazy. you are supposed to be the wise one. she is going to carry your child for 9 long months, i can’t explain to you how long that’s going to be but she is allowed to be crazy.”

he dropped the cup on the floor when gojo’s hand grabbed him by his collar, pulling him up from his chair.

“now please, see your goddamn wife before i deck you in the mouth.”

“i will.”

satisfied with his answer, gojo’s demeanor changed and he was again the man child they all know of him. noritoshi could no longer focus on the report in front of him; not when his mind is full of her and only her.

would she forgive him? he wasn’t sure.

but he would spend his lifetime making up to her and the baby if that’s necessary.

#I FEEL LIKE THIS ONE IS JUST AINT IT AND I MIGHT REMOVE IT #jjk #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen #kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo #noritoshi x y/n #jjk y/n #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo satoru #wild gojo appeared #tw blood #noritoshi x reader #i already have part 3.5 have written tho loool #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #writing: fics

[zedecksiew]

Kriegsmesser

When I received Kriegsmesser in the mail I finally googled "kriegsmesser", and found out it meant "war knife". Which makes sense; Gregor Vuga's ZineQuest 2021 project is a tribute to "roleplaying games named after medieval weapons".

I love Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay's piss-renaissance Old World setting. I tend to pick up WFRP-a-likes sight unseen:

Warlock (quality);

Small But Vicious Dog (yesss);

Zweihander (which I have come to hate); etc.

Anyway: I backed Kriegsmesser without really knowing anything about it. So Kriegsmesser surprised me.

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Kriegsmesser grew out of a Troika! cutting. Its 36 backgrounds are compatible with that system: each come with a couple of lines of description; a list of skills and possessions; an a visual cameo cropped from actual 16th-Century woodcut art.

Cohesive and competently flavourful. My favourite is the Labourer, who always starts with "an empty pine box":

"You've spent your life breaking your back, working hard for other people's profit. You have nothing to show for it but a spectre of the future."

(The obligatory ratcatcher-analogue , called the Vermin Snatcher, is here -- check that box!)

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Kriegsmesser also comes with its own ruleset. Hits all the notes it needs to, with lots of orientation and advice for how to run a game -- but ultimately super-simple, mechanically:

Roll d6s equal to the value in a relevant skill, look at the highest result. 6 means you get what you want; 5 or 4 means you get what you want, at a cost.

It's not quite a dice pool, since only the highest result matters. No opposed tests.

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Kriegsmesser intends to have this base mechanic handle fights, too. The combat rules - with armour, toughness and weapon values -- are nested in an optional section.

For a WFRP-a-like, this feels like a purposeful departure.

Many of WFRP's most celebrated adventures are celebrated for bits that their underlying ruleset does little to support: the investigative structure of "Shadows Over Bogenhafen"; the complicated timetable of "Rough Night At Three Feathers".

Ludwig von Wittgenstein never needed a statblock to be memorable.

Not to say that lethal, hyper-detailed fights isn't super Warhammer-y. (Kriegsmesser includes an injury table, broken down by body-part -- check that box!)

But here it feels like Gregor is saying: "I'm not Games Workshop and Roleplay isn't an ancillary of Warhammer Fantasy Battle; we can evoke grim-and-perilous-ness even if we fork away from heavy combat rules."

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It has become ritual for me to read my partner Sharon to sleep.

Sometimes I read her RPG things. The other night, after I read her Kriegsmesser's introduction --

" The Empire wages an eternal war against Chaos. Its priests preach of Chaos as an intrusion, something unnatural ... These men see Chaos in anything that does not buttress their rule. They call it disorder, anarchy, corruption. They say that to rebel against their order is to rebel against god and nature. That the current arrangement is natural, rather than artificial.

" Meanwhile, the common people look to the Empire to deliver the justice that they were promised and they find none. They look to the Empire and do not see themselves reflected in it. They look around at what they were taught was right and good and see only misery.

" Their world begins to unravel. Chaos comes to reside in every heart and mind sound enough to look at the world and conclude it is broken. "

-- Sharon remarked: "Nice one."

The RPG things I read her generally leave Sharon lukewarm. She has enjoyed a couple -- but, yeah: for many of these books, text isn't their strong point.

Kriegsmesser is the only time I can recall Sharon praising the writing of an RPG book without my prompting.

Nice one.

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That introduction surprised me. It underlines Kriegsmesser's biggest departure from its WFRP-a-like pedigree: how it characterises Chaos.

Corruption, a mainstay of most grim-dark-y games, is made an optional rule, like combat. Explaining this, Gregor writes:

" Kriegsmesser partially subverts or deconstructs the traditional conceit of Warhammer where the characters are threatened by the forces of Chaos. In this game it is the player characters who are the agents of 'Chaos': they are likely to become the 'rats' under the streets, and the wild 'beast-men' in the woods bringing civilisation down. It's the Empire and its nobles and priests that are corrupt ... "

Describing the Empire, Gregor writes:

" The Empire encompasses the world yet is terrified of the without. It enforces itself with steel and fire yet considers itself benevolent. It consumes the labour of others with bottomless hunger yet calls its subalterns lazy, or wasteful, or greedy. "

Holy shit this is the first time I've seen the word "subaltern" in an RPG thing, I think?

I love this.

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Rant incoming:

With every passing decade Warhammer abridges its Moorcockian roots more and more; nowadays it is "Order = Good" and "Chaos = Evulz", pretty much.

Gone are the days when chaos berserkers are implied to grant safe passage to the helpless (because Khorne is as much a god of martial honour as he is a god of bloodletting); Or that the succor of Papa Nurgle is a genuine comfort to the downtrodden; Or that Tzeentch could unironically embody the principle of hope, of change for the better.

As Chaos is distilled into unequivocal villainy, Order goons get painted as Good Guys by default --

Giving rise to Warhammer's contemporary problem, wherein fans are no longer able to recognise satire.

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When I was introduced to 40K, it seemed pretty clear that the Imperium was a Brazil-esque absurdist-fascist bureaucratic state: planets are exterminatus-ed due to clerical error; the way it stamps out rebellions is the reason why rebellions begin in the first place.

Tragi-comic grimdarkness. That was the point.

Nowadays that tone has shifted -- and you're more likely than not going to encounter a 40K fan who argues that the Imperium's evils are a justified necessity, to prevent worse wrongs.

We went from:

"Space Nazis because insane dumbass fuckery, also chainswords vroom vroom rule of badass!"

To:

"Space Nazis because it makes sense actually, and also chainswords make sense because [insert convoluted rationalisation here]."

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Even Fantasy Flight's Black Crusade line, which ostensibly offers a look at 40K from the perspective of Chaos, never truly commits to its conceit.

With prep you could play a heroic band of mutant freedom fighters, resisting the tyranny of the Evil Imperium --

But I don't remember Black Crusade giving that kind of campaign any actual support. Its supplements service the relatively more conventional "You can play villains!" angle; the Screaming Vortex is a squarely Daemons-vs-Daemons setting.

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This tonal drift culminates, in my mind, with Age of Sigmar, Games Workshop's heroic-fantasy replacement of the old WFRP / WHFB setting.

Here's the framing narrative for AoS's recently-launched Third Edition. Let's see whether I've got things right:

A highly professionalised, technologically-superior tip-of-the-spear fighting force (the Stormcast Eternals);

Backed by an imperialist military-industrial complex (Azyrheim);

"Liberating" rich new territories (Ghur) for exploitation by a civilised settler culture (Settlers of Sig-- I mean, Free Cities);

Justified because the locals are irredeemable heathens (Chaos and Kruleboyz).

I mean, that's a sweet-ass Warhammer setting. It's contemporary, laser-guided lampoon. Except it is played totally straight.

In AoS, a literal crusade is justified as the moral good.

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I think Kriegsmesser surprised me because its framing of Chaos -- as a promise, as the light of hope shining through cracks of a broken world --

It feels so fucking right.

Yes: its a subaltern deconstruction of the conventional moral universe of Warhammer -- but it is a take that is also already implied / all but supported in the various depictions of the setting: from WFRP to the modified title-crawl of Black Crusade.

I'm annoyed I didn't think of it, myself. Damn you, Gregor!

And I'm annoyed that more Warhammer fans aren't thinking it, also.

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lmagine if Kriegsmesser's perspective stood on equal standing as the GW orthodoxy. Imagine if, instead of simplifying stuff into "Order = Good" and "Chaos = Evulz", GW did a Gregor Vuga.

You'd have a Rashomon-ed Warhammer, where villainy depends on perspective:

You are fearful villagers, huddled around your priest, muttering prayers against the wild braying coming from the trees beyond your gates.

You are Aqshyian tribeswomen, defying the thunder warrior towering over you, the foreigner demanding you bow to his foreign god.

You are a Tzeentchian revolutionary cell, desperately trying to disrupt a Inquisitor's transmissions so your home planet isn't destroyed by fascist orbital fire.

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Get Kriegsmesser HERE.

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( Image sources: https://theenemywithinremixed.wordpress.com/2021/05/21/thoughts-on-the-4e-death-on-the-reik/ https://www.criterion.com/current/posts/59-brazil https://www.deviantart.com/faroldjo/art/Warhammer-40k-Black-Crusade-273596035 https://www.warhammer-community.com/2021/06/09/fancy-a-new-life-bringing-order-to-the-mortal-realms-join-a-dawnbringer-crusade-today/ https://www.nme.com/blogs/the-movies-blog/team-america-15-anniversary-south-park-2558750 https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Palestinian_children_and_Israeli_wall.jpg )

#reviews #kriegsmesser #gregor vuga #warhammer #writing #rants #overthinking #rpgs #wfrp

[sylvie--laufeydottir]

an obligatory analysis of sylvie’s character (aka: who betrayed who?)

in case you can’t tell, i like sylvie. but here’s a big fuckin post where i share my thoughts on her role in the finale in a sort of disjointed kind of way.

NOTE: this isn’t about sylki. i don’t ship it personally, but that isn’t really relevant to this at all. this also doesn’t go into the criticisms i have of the show because this isn’t really the place for that. maybe i can do that later, whatever.

also, this is gonna be a long post. i have a lot of thoughts.

sylvie’s introduction and motivations

one of the first things we learn about sylvie is her opposition to the tva. (okay, it’s literally the first thing, whatever.) in episode 3, we get to see her entire plan - overthrow whoever’s running the tva, and... that’s it. loki questions her about the power vacuum that would leave, to which she shows that she’s not interested in running the tva. (this is also stated in ep 2.) her goals are clear. she wants rid of the entire organisation, and doesn’t care about or want the sort of power that would come with pulling the strings.

her reasoning for this seems pretty simple. she doesn’t want the power ruling the tva would entail because she knows what it’s like to be on the other end of that deal. she had everything taken from her as a child, and doesn’t want that to happen to anybody else. she believes that that kind of power belongs to nobody, not even herself.

this easily establishes her as a character who, despite having an ego, has principles that trump everything else. she’s very dedicated to her cause; the ‘never at the expense of the mission’ line in ep 3 just states it out loud. her entire life has been dedicated to this cause. this is a good time to segue into the next section...

sylvie’s personality, character and flaws

she’s fuckin stabby.

despite only really being present for 4 out of the 6 episodes of the show, we manage to get a pretty good idea of sylvie’s personality right from the start thanks to episode 3 being largely a character study with both her and loki. she’s shown as a very competent and strong character - however, contrary to marvel’s guidebook on writing female characters, those aren’t personality traits. what we actually see of her is that she’s very confident, and has a tendency to be rude or dismissive of other people. episode 3 has a bunch of examples of this, but the easiest one to point to is the fireworks scene. after loki does something nice to cheer her up, something which visibly works, her response is to waive it away as ‘not bad’.

her coldness in this scene even after bonding with loki is likely due to her upbringing. sylvie spent the majority of her life, including her childhood, on the run, unable to form relationships with people who weren’t moments away from dying. it feels a bit redundant for me to point this out, but this is, as they say in the medical field, mega fucking traumatic. not only did sylvie not have the opportunity to form these kinds of connections, she couldn’t even develop the ability to form them. loki is a bandaid to cover a bullet hole in this regard, one she needs years to heal from. while she does bond with him to an extent, she is physically unable to trust him to the point where they can be considered close.

another thing we learn about sylvie is that she’s very violent - and that she enjoys it. being a character that grew up running from an organisation that wanted her dead, it makes sense for her first instinct to be confrontational. however, despite having to fight to survive, she visibly takes pleasure from fighting. this was brought up in an interview with sophia (that i am not going to link here, because tumblr is kind of a hellsite and i’m not in the mood for that today). here’s a nice extract instead.

“She's not trained like Loki is,” Di Martino continues. “She can't do some of the flourishes that he would, but she's figured out how to brawl. She's a street fighter and she loves it. That was a really great key to unlocking part of Sylvie for me, was how much she just loves a fight. She knows that she's either going to win, or if she isn't going to win, she'll survive. She's that damaged character who's dangerous because she knows she can survive.”

her tendency towards violence is actually a key part of sylvie’s character. this works as both a strength and a flaw. on the one hand, she’s able to survive scrapes most other characters wouldn’t, and she knows that. she’s not one to freeze in most (note: most) scenarios, because she knows what to expect. on the other hand, violence isn’t always the answer, and she’s very unlikely to consider any other option than a fight.

her enchantment abilities tie into this - they’re another weapon for her to use, and one she’s not afraid to call on. however, her eagerness to enchant people without hesitation puts her in a pretty bad place morally. her enchantment clearly leaves hunter c-20 traumatised, and yet she’s more than willing to enchant people for the sake of the mission. she’s also relatively dismissive of human sentient lives. an early example of this is in episode 2, where loki asks her if the person she had enchanted was dead, to which she responds with a casual ‘they usually survive’. additionally, she’s more than willing to fight the guards on the train in episode 3, despite them seeing her as a threat for completely understandable reasons.

in the case of the guards, her reasoning for placing such little value on their lives is likely that they’re about to die anyways. everyone on lamentis is doomed, so from her point of view, whether they die at her hands or at the hands of the moon from majora’s mask isn’t really important. however, c-20 is a different story. sylvie places next to no value on the lives of the tva’s workers, content to slaughter them en masse for the sake of her goal. this is despite her knowing that every one of the tva workers is a variant plucked from the sacred timeline. this sets up a weird sort of transactional nature in how sylvie views other people - to her, they’re less important than the mission, and she doesn’t hesitate to eliminate threats.

was this a long section? this was a long section. i would like to call back to the fact that this is not a sylki post for this next part. and also to praise anyone that got this far, because fucking hell, is this excessively long or what? who would have the time to write this out?

sylvie’s bond with loki

i want to go back to that whole thing about her relationship with loki. he’s the first person she’s really spoken to since she was a child who isn’t about to face imminent death. furthermore, despite their differences, they have quite a lot in common - enough to hit it off surprising well for two people who kind of want to kill each other. they’re able to relate on common ground like frigga, and even though they clash due to loki’s initial carelessness, they’re overall able to get along well enough aside from occasional bickering. the blanket scene from episode 5 is probably the best example of this. sylvie allows herself, albeit briefly, to be vulnerable around loki.

except, not really. one of the first things she does is tries to ensure he won’t betray her. i’ve seen somebody cite this before as proof that her fondness towards him isn’t real, and that she was planning on betraying him from the start, hence why it was on her mind. that’s definitely possible, but i think it’s far more likely that it’s just her difficulties connecting to people stopping her from feeling safe around him even as they share a nice moment. she really does seem to care about loki - an easy example of this is her asking how he is during episode 4 without being prompted. she’s just unable to properly process these kinds of feelings due to an incomprehensible amount of trauma. as loki puts it, she can’t trust.

and loki can’t be trusted. she knows - or at least, thinks she knows - his nature as a trickster and a villain. loki embodies a part of sylvie that she considers herself completely separate from; the tva-approved liar whose purpose is to bring out the best in others. while she does show him more decency than to treat him like that, at the end of the day, he represents something that makes her deeply uncomfortable, hence her rejection of the loki name. despite what they have in common, loki is an incredibly difficult person to trust, especially for somebody who has deep-rooted trust issues. so, this brings us onto...

who betrayed who?

so, sylvie and loki make it to kang’s castle. after all this time, she’s finally about to reach her life’s goal. she’s clearly nervous - this is out of her comfort zone, unlike most fights. loki reassures her, and they head in. they meet kang, learn the true nature of the tva, have the opportunity to kill him...

and loki stops her.

loki’s motivations are left ambiguous. the uncharitable interpretation is that he wants to rule the tva for himself, as per kang’s offer. he’s expressed such an interest to sylvie before. for the loki we know in avengers 1, this seems perfectly in character.

however, for the loki we’ve seen in the show, there’s a different option. he believes kang’s threat that there are multiple of him, and that killing him won’t solve anything. to him, he isn’t willing to risk unknown horrors for the sake of taking his revenge out on kang. this is the loki who offered diplomacy and guile to counteract sylvie’s brute force.

but sylvie, who can’t trust, assumes the worst.

to her, loki was the one who betrayed her. they had a plan - find whoever pulls the strings, and destroy them. to her, loki’s hesitation isn’t caution, but treachery. taking kang’s offer to rule the tva is exactly what she thinks she should’ve expected from the guy who hurts everybody who loves him. her fight or flight responses kick in, and she chooses the one she always chooses. loki’s attempts to reassure her fall on deaf ears, not just because she doesn’t want to trust him, but because she’s physically incapable of it. she makes the short-sighted decision of brute force, just like she did back on lamentis, because it’s all she’s ever known, and the cause she’s dedicated her life to.

from the outside, it looks like sylvie was the one who betrayed loki, but things look pretty different from where she’s standing.

this is why i take issue with people calling sylvie a ‘villain’ or questioning whether this was her plan for the start. in my opinion, her motivations line up pretty clearly as a creature of habit, one who panics at the first hint of smoke and pushes away the first person she’s been able to bond with for the sake of self-preservation. did she make the wrong decision? unquestionably - the effects of her actions will no doubt plague the multiverse (and the mcu, for us) for as long as they go unchecked. but she made the only decision she was capable of making, and that’s not villainous, just tragic.

conclusion

well, this is a kind of depressing way to finish this post. for what it’s worth, though, i don’t think sylvie is a doomed character. regardless of how brief it was, she did show a real connection with loki. just because something requires a lot of healing doesn’t make it impossible. this is why i like sylvie as a character so much; she’s deeply flawed and complex, but that complexity makes her interesting, and relatable. marvel has a long history of sexy lamps and supposed ‘tortured backstories’, but sylvie is the first time they paid attention to this with their character writing without having to give somebody a wholeass prequel movie. with loki confirmed to appear in multiverse of madness, i’m hoping we see more of sylvie - not as a villain, but as a hero who can overcome her past experiences and rise to better things.

or maybe another kang shows up and kills her immediately. who knows.

#sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir #loki #loki theory #loki analysis #loki series #long post #like really fucking long #i’m so sorry for this #not a gif

[forevercloudnine]

pre-new 52 scarebat ship meme

 (I actually have no idea what to call this period of comics. The dc wiki calls this the “New Earth” universe... it’s like, everything after Jason Todd was retconned out of being a circus acrobat up to Flashpoint. Anyway like a month ago I asked @heroes-etc​ to send me questions for this version of scarebat from this ship meme but then forgot that I did it because I got distracted by other ships. Sorry Jonathan...)

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Bruce does DO physical affection — I mean, how many comic panels do we even have of him making out with Catwoman on rooftops — but he’s not especially forthcoming with it. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that his love interests are more likely to instigate contact than he is, especially when that love interest is a villain like Selina or Talia (can you even IMAGINE him trying to take them off guard in a fight by grabbing their face for a kiss? Because I cannot).

He does occasionally instigate affection with his children/proteges, though usually it’s in instances where they obviously need comfort. Bruce isn’t always great at handling complicated emotional situations, but grief and trauma is something he understands very intimately, and he never hesitates to physically reassure people who are in that kind of pain.

In situations where someone isn’t in the active process of being traumatized, he’s less forward with physical affection. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll reject it if it’s instigated — depending on who you are, of course. I’m guessing he wouldn’t put up with hugs from random members of the Justice League. Superman is his best friend and he would probably try to wiggle out of 90% of Kal hugs if doing so was physically possible. Most of his loved ones don’t really spring physical affection on him unless they need it or it’s an especially emotional moment, however. It’s not really Bruce’s primary love language. 

Jonathan seems even less physically affectionate than Bruce, though obviously doesn’t have a lot of opportunity to demonstrate how he feels either way. Master of Fear offers the only example of him expressing explicitly romantic affection that I know of (unless you count his terrorizing Becky Albright in New Year’s Evil as physical affection, which... might be how he’s thinking of it...?), and it’s entirely instigated by Sherry Squire. He does ask her to the Halloween party, but she’s the one who takes him down to the furnace room for some “one-on-one” time and tells him to kiss her. 

He also notably does not actually get a chance to kiss her, mainly because the whole thing was a prank meant to humiliate him. This might be why he doesn’t try to instigate anything similar with his next crush, Dr. Linda Friitawa (again, unless you count Becky Albright, but I can’t find New Year’s Evil to read anywhere so my only knowledge of his interaction with her comes from Tumblr. I’m like 80% sure he was supposed to be interested in her romantically, but asking someone to do supervillainy with you isn’t the most direct way to express attraction, so I’m taking that as more obliqueness from Jonathan).

He never expresses any direct romantic interest in Linda, but at the very least he clearly cares about her more than he cares for most people, since he, like. Defends her in conversation and apologizes to her for things that aren’t even his fault. Which means a lot, coming from a sociopath with no regard for human life. They do hold hands at one point, but Linda reaches out to him first, and he waits to see if she’s going to back away from his reciprocated touch before he reaches for her other hand. 

He never instigates anything further with her, possibly out of fear of rejection. Unfortunately, it turns out that this was a good call, because Linda was only pretending to be nice to him while Penguin was paying her to experiment on Jonathan without his knowledge. When Batman figures out what they’re doing, she immediately fucks off and starts dating Black Mask.

Even more unfortunately, his 45 seconds of hand holding with Backstabby McMad Scientist is probably the only mutual physical affection Jonathan has ever experienced in his entire life, so honestly I have no idea if he would be more into it as a concept if it was offered to him more often. He’s clearly willing to return physical contact when it’s initiated by someone else, so maybe it is something he would seek out in an actual relationship? He DOES get handsy with Bruce when he has Batman tied up sometimes. 

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

Trip out on fear toxin, both of them, hands down. There are few things more embarrassing than, as Jonathan aptly describes it, being “reduced to whimpering quivers” in front of your enemy. Especially an enemy who’s presumably jotting down notes on your worst fears, since Batman/Scarecrow fights tend to just be competitions in who’s more frightening.

11. What do they hide from one another?

I mean, obligatory mention of the fact that Bruce hides things from absolutely everyone (with the possible exception of Alfred, because Bruce trusts him as completely as he is capable of trusting anyone, and also because it’s really hard to hide things from a parent whose involved in every aspect of your life and already knew you before you developed your pathological need to obfuscate your feelings and intentions).

As Wonder Woman pretty aptly describes during the Tower of Babel arc, even Bruce’s closest allies are never going to hear the full story from him. So it’s deeply unlikely he’d ever be 100% truthful with a supervillain, even if they got close AND Jonathan reformed. 

But it’s notable that Jonathan’s fear toxin has actually given him a more honest look into Bruce’s psyche than he would ever purposefully give to people who aren’t close family members. And by “close family members” I again pretty much just mean Alfred. Unfortunately for Bruce, nothing forces emotional transparency like mind altering drugs. Fortunately for Jonathan, nothing forces emotional transparency like mind altering drugs! Not that I’m recommending that anyone drug a romantic partner into being honest with them. But Jonathan is a trained psychiatrist, so I assume his psychological know-how combined with insights gleaned from the dozens of “sessions” he’s had with Batman in the past would leave him more prepared than most to decipher the mystery that is Bruce Wayne. (@heroes-etc: riddler is SEETHING.)

Jonathan meanwhile is more than capable of putting together a clandestine scheme, but in respect to himself he’s actually pretty straightforward. Though his driving motivation in this continuity gets more and more complicated over time, from the early 90’s “I just like fear” to the early 2000’s “my Granny tortured me with birds when I was a child and now I’m obsessed with inspiring the same fear and submission she forced on me onto others,” what doesn’t change is his willingness to monologue about it to anyone who’s listening.

Also, anything that Jonathan is unable or unwilling to go into detail on, Bruce is more than capable of puzzling out himself. In Scarecrow: Year One he successfully tracks down Jonathan’s old home to recover and read through Granny Keeney’s diary, and after Scarecrow’s Master of Fear origin was published, it’s clear that Bruce has done his research on Jonathan’s childhood. There’s even a (presumably unintentionally) hilarious scene where Bruce pauses mid-rescue of a man that Jonathan has kidnapped and traumatized with fear toxin to lecture him on having bullied Jon in high school.

Is this really the time, Bruce???

(@heroes-etc: oh 100% he nailed that timing.)

13. When do they realise they should get together?

Well, circling back to Tower of Babel, it’s revealed when Ra’s al Ghul has Talia steal Bruce’s contingency plans for defeating the Justice League that Bruce has “borrowed” Scarecrow’s fear toxin in case he has to take down Aquaman.

This was back when Scarecrow had a number of different toxins that induced different phobias, or made people hallucinate hyper-specific nightmare scenarios (such as “being eaten alive by roaches from the inside,” for some terrible reason). Batman notes in his contingency files that Scarecrow has already done the work for him; presumably Jonathan had already designed a formula to induce hydrophobia, so all Bruce had to do was steal a vial of it from a crime scene.

(The sentence “Why not make him incapacitate himself... perhaps through fear?” alone is like 90% of why I think these men would get along like burlap on fire if they ever actually cooperated on something. Also, unrelated, but the polaroid of Jonathan he has in the Aquaman file is weirdly adorable.)

Bruce’s plan for Arthur is incredibly effective, and notably also Bruce’s only contingency that isn’t either inherently lethal or a ruthlessly sociopathic betrayal of emotional vulnerabilities that had been revealed to him in trust and friendship (RIP Kyle Rayner).

(Notably, Bruce’s plans for Kyle and several other leaguers directly involve using their worst fears against them, even without a fear toxin conveniently tailored for this purpose. Bruce just really likes using fear as a weapon against people.)

After Tower of Babel, Bruce obviously needed to create new contingencies, since the whole point is that they were secret plans that no one could see coming. In canon, Bruce goes on to create the A.I. satellite Brother Eye for this purpose (which backfires even worse than his first set of contingency plans, because of course it does). But I think an interesting alternative could have been Bruce tapping Jonathan for more toxin strands tailored to taking down the Justice League. If Bruce Wayne offered to pay Scarecrow’s way out of Arkham in order to develop formulas that could neutralize the world’s most powerful superheroes, is there any way that Jonathan would turn him down? I mean, obviously he would plan on betraying Wayne at some point, and Bruce would similarly be working against Jonathan’s best interests. But maybe if they set aside their “who’s scarier” dick measuring contest to work together for once, they could come to recognize their shared passion: scaring the shit of people.

Also, the Jonathan in this continuity really likes books. And you know what’s a reliably sustainable source of books that can’t be confiscated by the authorities? Dating Bruce Wayne. The manor alone probably has an insane amount of rare books that have been hoarded by his family over the years. It’s like a weird reversal of the Beauty and the Beast, where the rude rich guy who gives a library to the love interest he may or may not have technically kidnapped is the pretty one.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

If they were dating, I’m guessing Jonathan wouldn’t want to go anywhere in public with Bruce at all. Bruce Wayne is a celebrity bachelor, and celebrity bachelors get a lot of attention, and people who take celebrity bachelors off the market get a lot of NEGATIVE attention. The public reaction to Bruce settling into a committed relationship with anyone would be the kind of weirdly resentful gossipy judgement that the girlfriends of famous princes or actors or musicians always get from tabloids and entertainment television, but in Jonathan’s case it would be a million times worse. Not just because he’s a supervillain, because if there’s any town that would expect its most eligible bachelor to eventually date a supervillain, it’s Gotham. But more specifically because “ugly social outcast” is one of Scarecrow’s most enduring character traits. Not exactly the traditional trophy wife. And though Jonathan’s Scarecrow identity seems to distance him from a lot of the shame he suffered growing up, I’m guessing that the kind of spiteful vitriol that would follow him anywhere he accompanied Bruce would at the least bring back some very unwanted memories.

Bruce probably doesn’t have the same discomfort Jonathan would with being seen together in public. He doesn’t care if people think Bruce Wayne is insane or lacking in judgement as long as they don’t think he’s Batman, and I’m sure he’d find a way to spin “dating a man who prefers to dress exclusively in burlap” into something appropriately characteristic of playboy idiocy. But while he'd definitely respect Jonathan's wishes to stay out of the public sphere, he would probably enjoy any opportunity to bring Scarecrow into Gotham high society, since his presence would definitely shake up a party, and Bruce is generally extremely bored at any social event where he doesn’t have anyone to snark with. And with Jonathan’s scathing wit as entertainment, Bruce might one day fulfill Alfred’s wish and actually make it through an intermission sometime.

I’d say that Bruce would be nervous about taking Jonathan out for “field research,” but I’m sure it would be one of Scarecrow’s requirements for any long term collaboration, so it’s something that he would have to get used to pretty quickly. He would probably endeavor to keep Jonathan away from anything that could retrigger his less healthy behaviors. On the other hand, it’s not like Bruce does that for himself, so it stands to reason that he probably wouldn’t be able to successfully control Jonathan in that regard either. 

It doesn’t help that one of Jonathan’s primary motivations in villainy is his childhood, which is... exactly the same thing that Bruce is fixated on. A significant portion of Scarecrow: Year One is the two of them waxing poetic about how similar they are in this regard. 

Relating to this, even though it might be a terrible idea, I don’t think Bruce would be able to resist encouraging Jonathan to reconnect with his mom. Bruce would never recommend for someone like Cassandra to seek out a relationship with her father, but if someone he cares about has a LIVING parent who WASN’T abusive to them? It seems unlikely that Bruce wouldn’t advocate for reconciliation. Jonathan’s dad obviously never cared about the teenage girl he knocked up or their bastard child, but Karen Keeney is a different story. DC Holiday Special ‘09 makes it clear that Jonathan was taken away from her against her will, and she’s spent a significant portion of her life wracked by guilt imagining what the woman who abused her was doing to her son.  

Ultimately she attempts to commit suicide because she feels personally responsible for every terrible thing her son has ever done, which is tragic because really she’s the only member of the Keeney family completely blameless in the creation of the Scarecrow. In Scarecrow: Year One Jonathan clearly resents her for leaving him and moving on to have another baby that she actually did keep, which I would call a really paranoid case of jumping to conclusions if it didn’t seem extremely likely that Granny Keeney told him his mother didn’t want him and left him to be tortured on purpose.

(Side note, it is REALLY weird how young Karen Keeney is depicted in Scarecrow: Year One. At times her son looks older than she is, and it doesn’t help that her second born child is an infant for some reason. Even if Jonathan is only thirty years old here, then unless she had him at younger than fourteen, she should already be in her mid-forties. Why did she only have a second child so late in life? The implication with her abusive husband is that she ended up getting trapped in a bad relationship for survival when her family kicked her out as a teenager for disgracing the family by having Jonathan. It would make way more sense for her child with him to be at least in elementary school. Also the scene would have been way more interesting if Scarecrow’s sister was old enough to talk.)

Thankfully Deadman manages to convince Karen to hold on to life long enough for someone to call 911, and she ends up surviving the suicide attempt. But were Jonathan ever to reform, it seems like reconciliation would be really healthy for both of them, since miraculously Karen still seems to care about Jonathan despite everything he’s put her through, and they’re both clearly still suffering from the after effects of Mary Keeney’s abuse. 

Bruce would be enthusiastic about this prospect for obvious reasons, although he would presumably still be nervous about the possibility of everything going terribly wrong. And even if everything went perfectly right, he would STILL be nervous, because everytime Jonathan goes to see his mother there’s a chance that she will mention the time that she kissed Batman full on the mouth. And that is not information you would ever want your psychologist boyfriend to know, unless you want to be mocked with Freudian buzzwords for the rest of your natural life. 

(...This would also count as a thing that Bruce hides from Jonathan.)

#scarebat #jonathan crane #scarecrow #bruce wayne #batman #i just they're neat #it's all about those shared interests #and by shared interests i mean subjugating your enemies through fear #ship meme

[writer-k-pop]

Listen to Me

얘기 좀 할래? Want to talk about it?

Description: After finding out some unpleasant news about your best friend’s partner, you try to tell your best friend about it but they won’t listen. But Seungkwan does. He listens to you spill out your frustrations and in the process, a few other things spill out. Warnings: Swearing Genre: Angst, Fluff (Mainly), Roommate!Seungkwan x Gen.Neu!Reader Word Count: 1.5k

Seventeen Masterlist | Masterlists

You slam the front door shut and storm straight into your room. The loud slam of your bedroom door surprises Seungkwan cause you've never slammed your room that hard. Ever. And he's lived with you for almost a whole year now.

While you hurl mumbled curses at your 'so-called' best friend, Seungkwan cautiously crosses the living room that separates your bedrooms. He wonders what would have caused you to slam your door with that amount of force while you curse the human being you thought was your closest and dearest friend for being so ignorant and not trusting your judgement.

A burst of frustrated anger surges through your body and you grab a pillow off your bed, chucking it at your closed door. On the other side, Seungkwan's eyes widen as he hears the pillow smoosh hollow-ly against the wood door.

He knocks and you barely hear it through the pounding in your ears.

"What?" You ask, yanking the door open with such force it leaves Seungkwan stunned for a second.

"Are you okay?" He asks, lowering his hand. You catch a glimmer of concern but pass it off as roommate level concern.

You sigh and lean against the door while reminding yourself that this is Seungkwan and not that poor excuse for a loyal friend. "Just frustrated. Very, very, very frustrated." You add for emphasis.

Seungkwan puckers his lips together, "Want to talk about it?"

"Would it help?" You scoff and roll your eyes, thinking that talking really wouldn't help.

"It might." Seungkwan shrugs and tilts his to the side. "You never know."

You chew on the inside of your cheek cause you never really discussed deep, private issues like this with Seungkwan. Yes, you've lived together but you usually went to your best friend with those kinds of issues.

But you are not currently talking to that person and Seungkwan is willing to listen.

Standing up straight, you walk back into your room and sigh.

"It's my best friend." You exhale and plop onto your bed.

"The one you've known since like 8th grade?" Seungkwan clarifies and pulls out your desk chair to sit in.

You nod, "That one." Crossing your legs on the bed, you dive into the whole situation. "So, they recently started dating someone and you know, I met them a few times and every time I did, I got a weird feeling from them. Well, turns out my feeling was right. Two days ago, I was out and I somehow ended up behind said person though I didn't know it at first. But then they start talking about my best friend and how ridiculous the whole relationship is and they're only staying in the relationship because my best friend keeps buying them expensive gifts."

"No..." Seungkwan gasps, completely intrigued in the story.

"Oh yeah. And they even called my best friend ugly." You nod, getting riled up, "So, you know, I'm all 'what the fuck.' And I go meet up with my best friend cause they gotta know this shit. I explain everything and tell them that they need to get out because this person is crazy. But they didn't listen." You slam your hands down on the bench.

"They even got angry at me for not supporting them in the relationship." You continue while Seungkwan listens intently, "Using the whole 'if I'm happy, you should be happy' bullshit. I nearly laughed my head off because how could someone be happy in a relationship where the other person doesn't even find them attractive? And they're being used solely for material gain."

"So what did you do?" Seungkwan wonders.

"I argued with them because god dang it, I was going to make them see that I was right." You state because that's honestly what you did. You catch Seungkwan stifling a laugh and you narrow your eyes slightly, ignoring the flutter of your heart. "What?"

He quickly shakes his head but still answers your question, "You went from 'fuck' and 'bullshit' to a tame 'god dang it' and I found it cute... But this conversation isn't about what I think... Continue." He corrects himself and presses his lips together to keep himself from saying anything more. Internally you pout at him because how dare he think you are cute when you're ranting about something that upsets you. But at the same time you recognize that you also find him cute when he comes home frustrated about his group projects that have gone askew.

"Well, they wouldn't listen to me so I kept arguing with them and they still didn't believe me." You follow Seungkwan's instructions and recall the rest of the events, "They started calling me a liar and throwing really nasty comments at me like how I could even dare to question them and how I didn't trust them enough to find love and all this crap. I honestly have never seen them so mad at anyone. And of course, it had to be at me." You shake your head, partly because of the irony and partly because of the nature of the whole situation. "After a little bit of their ignorant, stubborn rant, I said enough and walked out."

"Right back here and slamming never-before-slammed doors in the process." Seungkwan finishes for you.

You give a tiny chuckle, "Did I scare you?"

"Not scare. It more startled me because it was so out of the ordinary." He corrects you.

"Sorry." You give an apologetic smile and realize that talking to Seungkwan did relieve some of the frustration.

"Don't be." He waves his hands out in front of him, "I would've done the same thing. If my friend, who was supposed to be my best friend, didn't trust me enough to even question the motives of the person they're dating, then, I too would fight to try and make them see." He leans his head against his hand and rests his elbow on the chair arm. "I think it's really cool of you to tell them about their so-called partner. I'll just add it to the list of thing I find cool about you." Seungkwan mumbles like a side note and you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion. In the two seconds of silence that followed, Seungkwan realized that he said the last bit out loud and freezes. A warm blush rises to his cheeks and he does everything to avoid eye contact with you.

"I said that out loud..." He states quietly and cringes at himself.

"Kind of..." You answer though he didn't state it as a question.

Seungkwan clears his throat, "Well, you know, it's for when people ask me why I keep deciding to live with you. You know the obligatory list of things you like about your roommate... As a roommate." He rambles on.

You smile sheepishly, knowing he's trying to cover up his tracks. "Right, that list."

He nods his head slowly, the atmosphere turning a little awkward. "Are, uh are you feeling a little better?" He asks, switching the topic before the mood can turn more awkward.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm feeling better. Thanks for listening." You tell him.

"Of course, anytime." Seungkwan says and bats his hand at you.

You chuckle at his response and decide to act on your feelings. "Then how about you let me treat you to dinner someday as a thank you?"

"You really don't have to do that." He shakes his head, "Honestly, I really don't mind talking with you."

"But I kind of wanted to start my own list. The list of things I read off of when someone asks me why I like my date?" You elaborate and Seungkwan freezes with eyes wide.

"So dinner would be a date..." He trails off in shock. "And we'd be going on this date together."

You smile and nod, confirming his guesses. Then Seungkwan's face breaks out into the brightest smile.

"Fuck yeah." He exclaims. "But you're not paying. First date, I pay."

You hold your hands up in surrender, "I was kind of hoping you'd pay." You giggle.

Seungkwan's chest feels like it's going to explode just from hearing your giggle. He's been head over heels for you for months and now knowing that you also like him in that way has his heart doing acrobat level flips inside of him.

"How about tonight?" He asks, looking at your bedside clock. "We've got a couple hours to get ready."

"Tonight sounds great." You respond, "But next time, I pay."

"Yeah, okay." Seungkwan chuckles and walks out of your room with a silly smile on his face and the thought that he was probably going to have to fight to pay the next time.

Hell, he'd pay for every dinner if he was dining with you.

#kpop #kpop imagine #seventeen #seventeen imagine #seventeen seungkwan imagine #seventeen seungkwan #seungkwan #seungkwan imagine #boo seungkwan imagine #boo seungkwan #writer-k-pop