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shinjaeha · 3 years

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ipytm ep 2 (thoughts + spoilers)

i’ve been trying my hardest to forget about iptym during the week so the countdown to each new ep won’t feel as long, but i don’t think i’ve succeeded. with each new ep i feel more and more nervous and excited bc i know the conflict and angst is only going to keep ramping up as the series goes on (and this ep was a good indication of that...not FULL BLOWN angst yet, but the undercurrent of angst is slowly starting to come to the surface). i’m def more prepared for it than i was during itsay, but that doesn’t make it easy ;;;

the standard ‘this is not a proper analysis’ here...i’m completely aware that this post in particular is really messy, but i just had a lot of mixed feelings and thoughts with this ep. one day i will learn how to condense my thoughts better, but today is not that day so i’m doing this under a read more for once bc it’s embarrassingly long 😂

we start off with teh in acting class where his teacher is explaining how you need to be able to understand yourself before you’re able to understand other people (and therefore put yourself in the shoes of the character you’re playing)...which even before i knew where this ep was going to go felt a lot like foreshadowing for the events that were going to unfold in this ep.

the acting exercises are basically a lot like the ones that we see bkpp (and the rest of the cast) having to do as part of their workshops in the documentary eps, so it’s kind of cool to see them incorporate parts of that into the actual show itself. feels more authentic since, if you’ve watched the documentary eps, you know that this is actually what the actors have to go through when they’re learning to let themselves go and get into character.

so through this montage of all of teh’s classes, we get to see how much he’s enjoying learning more and more about his major. it’s truly his passion, and he’s finally in his element. and it’s great that he’s surrounded by so many seniors that are also as driven and passionate about performing as he is...i find it interesting how teh, even from the start, has always been most attracted to people that have the same sense of ambitiousness as he does. in itsay, his best friend (aside from oh-aew obv) was tarn, who had a very similar mindset as him. so here, it’s not really that much of a surprise that all his uni friends are basically the drama club seniors that he sees as role models. oh-aew is kind of that one outlier bc he doesn’t fit that same mould/personality type that teh tends to surround himself with, which is where you can already start to see the discord between them arising. in itsay, bc oh-aew was working towards the same end goal as teh at the time, it wasn’t as much of a conflict. but in ipytm we can see that their paths are starting to diverge more and more. that being said, oh-aew’s someone that teh truly needs in his life bc he offers a different perspective to most of teh’s other friends, and as we can see later on, teh REALLY needs that.

now THIS was one of the interactions i was really interested in. we already knew from the ep 2 teaser that teh isn’t exactly happy with oh-aew’s new friend group, so i’ve been waiting to see how teh acts when he’s around them. everyone’s at q’s house celebrating plug’s birthday, and honestly?? they’re all really sweet and accommodating of teh (they get him sweet drinks bc teh tells them that he doesn’t drink bc it’s too bitter, and they don’t pressure him when he says he can’t drink bc he’s got morning classes). but then the conversation turns to teh and oh-aew becoming actors and earning lots of money (and how convenient that is), and teh starts to get a little riled up. i don’t think they mean anything by what they’re saying (they’re just playing around), but we know that teh's sensitive to this sort of thing, and i think to him, it’s almost like they’re saying it’s ‘easy’ to become an actor and start making bank. teh, who already knows how hard it is (esp since he’s been watching how difficult it’s been for khim in particular), starts getting defensive about it. the focus being on money hits a nerve with him too bc teh is very clearly majoring in comm arts bc it’s his dream, not bc of the money he could make from it. teh and oh-aew’s gang are just on different wavelengths, and you can really start to see how teh’s having trouble bonding with oh-aew’s gang bc of their differing mindsets.

it makes me slightly sad that you can see how worried oh-aew is about teh and his friends not meshing. it’s like we, the audience, are all feeling what oh-aew is feeling...his nervous glances at teh bc he’s afraid that teh might not like them. and the discomfort on teh’s part too. all of oh-aew friends tend to be a lot more like him, relaxed and happy to go with the flow, but we know that teh can be pretty rigid and intense about the things that he’s passionate about. oh-aew recognises this, which is why he’s as anxious as he is in the first place.

oh-aew’s tea tattoo in honour of teh is actually so sweet 😭 it shows how much teh means to him. he really got a permanent mark on his body to symbolise his love for his boyfriend ;;; but from teh’s perspective, it’s literally that first mark of change. it IS a pretty big decision, so i don’t blame teh for being shocked about it, but teh likely sees this as oh-aew’s friends being a ‘bad’ influence on him (which we know gets brought up again later). not bc of the tattoo itself, but bc of what it represents. it’s like he’s watching oh-aew start to change before his very eyes and he doesn’t know how to deal with that so he brushes it away for now.

the framing of that shot where teh and oh-aew are facing each other and then q comes to walk in between them is A LOT like how they used to frame the both of them in itsay and having bas walk in between them. interesting.

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THE FACT THAT OH-AEW SPEAKS CHINESE WHEN HE’S DRUNK...that’s just plain adorable :’) it’s like he’s reverting back to when teh was teaching him chinese and they were first falling in love again. teh’s method of getting close to him was always tutoring oh-aew in chinese, so it’s as though oh-aew is trying to feel closer to teh again by speaking chinese to him. sort of like he’s trying to recreate that feeling all over again. i also love that this is basically the opposite of that oppo short film ad bkpp did haha.

we got the “ke yi ma” “ke yi” again ;;;;;;;; i love their little domestic moments. they’re so soft when they’re like this (i know we’re gonna have to weather the angst, but i hope we still have a lot more fluffy moments like this too pls). side note, i really love the lighting in these scenes!!

when oh-aew reads teh’s note about the kimchi jjigae and smiles but then reads the “do not skip class” and his smile fades away...oh, oh-aew, i feel u.

so now we get to see oh-aew in acting class, and the difference between oh-aew’s feelings towards class and teh’s feelings are like night and day. teh’s classes make him feel so fulfilled...this is genuinely something that he wants to do. but oh-aew is struggling. he doesn’t have that same sense of purpose as teh bc he’s starting to realise that this might not be what he really wants...he’s trying but just not enjoying it at all. when teh tells him about the casting call, i feel so much dread for him bc he’s clearly not looking forward to it whatsoever, but he knows how much this means to teh...so he’s willing to ignore his feelings for now if teh’s happy :(

is it just me or was this when oh-aew stopped carrying his ‘heart attack’ bag too??

idk this struggle in particular just feels so personal to me. i really identify with oh-aew when it comes to this bc when i was at uni i changed my major like 3-4 times (and changed unis a bunch of times on top of that) bc i had NO IDEA what i wanted to do. even now, i still have no clue what i’m doing a lot of the time. i’m glad that oh-aew at least managed to find some sort of clarity when he dropped in on his friends’ advertising class and realised that this was something that he enjoyed and was good at :’)

teh’s so excited and focussed on this audition that he can’t even see how worried and reluctant that oh-aew is about this. he wants them to have the same dream so bad that he can’t see that this might not be oh-aew’s dream anymore. but anyway, oh-aew is the sweetest, best boy as always. he’s so, so encouraging with teh. so patient. he really such a great balance to teh’s more volatile nature...but that contrast is also what makes you feel so bad for him when teh lashes out at him without thinking (as he’s prone to doing).

i LOVE khim. i just have so much respect for her. she’s always trying her hardest, and it’s painful to see her give so much of herself yet constantly be knocked down. the resilience that takes. i know that that’s part of the industry she’s in, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. there’s a lot to be said about how harsh the entertainment industry can be (and the inherent ageism/sexism/homophobia within it), which i don’t have the time to go into here, but having to hear criticism like that...purely based on your looks (you don’t look smart enough, young enough, manly enough, etc.) is so incredibly disheartening. teh commenting on how harsh it is, and khim saying that it’s super common and telling the both of them how they’re gonna have to go through all of that the more casting calls they go to...OF COURSE oh-aew is only going to feel even more dispirited about this when he’s already realising that this might not be his thing anymore.

being able to take rejection and criticism is really fucking difficult (i know i could never do it)...and seeing oh-aew being told that he’s not ‘manly’ enough/too ‘girly’ in acting class and again at the casting call is yet another knock at his confidence. the way you physically see oh-aew get more flustered and anxious as the audition goes on, when he sees the crew shaking their heads at him :((( i feel all the nervousness, anxiety and embarrassment that he’s feeling right down to my very bones. then to walk out from that audition to khim talking about how damn hard it is to keep doing this time and time again only to be continually rejected?? my poor boy :( what’s fascinating to me is how differently the both of them interpret khim’s speech. teh latches on to her words and sees them as motivation to keep going...to keep trying and persevering. like a challenge. but to oh-aew, he just sees the difficulty and rejection. the instability of this career path, and how hard this could potentially be on his family as well. they’re both hearing completely different things.

teh being so happy about his audition even though he didn’t get the part and the way he turns around to face oh-aew directly when oh-aew tells him they said he was “too girly” and how he couldn’t change his personality to be what they wanted :((( pls. i just want to hug him so bad. teh’s “i like you the way you are now” and reassurance that so many other people do too 😭i know he kind of makes a mess of himself later on, but i’m still so glad that oh-aew got to hear that from him at least.

this show is the best at making you feel all that nervousness and anxiety when any of the characters are about to drop some big news. i was waiting with bated breath when oh-aew told teh he wanted to transfer majors. it makes me sad though that oh-aew has to constantly feel like he’s walking on eggshells when it comes to teh...he’s always most worried about teh’s reaction, and that’s prob the main reason why he didn’t opt out of comm arts even earlier. but oh-aew has all these mounting doubts about his major, and there’s only so long he can stick it out for teh’s sake, and the casting call (and khim’s words) really solidified that for him.

teh’s "you haven’t given it your all”/”you haven’t done your best” rubs me the wrong way bc it’s easy to think that way when you’re set on something and know that that’s what you want to do...but when you’re doubting/not sure about something, it just isn’t the same thing. we all have different thresholds when it comes to what we can endure and how much we can put into something. teh’s a hard worker, we’ve seen how dedicated he can be when he really wants something, but not everyone works like this. not everyone can be a teh or a khim. and esp not when they’re having to give their all to something that doesn’t feel right for them. and oh-aew’s right...sometimes once is enough to know that something’s not a fit for you.

when oh-aew mentions that he sat in on advertising class and thinks he might be into it, it’s like a parallel of that scene when they’re kids and oh-aew told teh that he wanted to become an actor like him. only now it’s the opposite. teh’s had this plan in his head that he and oh-aew are going to reach their dream of becoming actors and the lead protagonists in a movie/series together for so long now that it’s hard for him to reconcile that oh-aew might no longer want this as much as he does anymore. it’s like he can see this ultimate goal of his crumbling. so just hearing that it’s bc of q and the rest of the gang’s ‘influence’ that oh-aew sat in on their advertising class in the first place (and this triggered his interest in advertising) is like strike two for teh vs. oh-aew’s friends.

i’ve def mentioned this before, but oh-aew has always been the more pragmatic of the two, whilst teh is more idealistic, so i understand why he would gravitate towards something that was more stable of a career for him. more of a guarantee. he knows that advertising/marketing suits him better (not to mention that he’s always had the resort as his safety to fall back on too), and it’s something that he’s discovering he actually enjoys more in general too.

when i first watched this, i was like “oh wow teh’s matured so much!!” bc he didn’t blow up at oh-aew during this scene...that kind of ended up backfiring on me towards the end, but at the same time, i do think there’s a certain level of growth there since he does end up trying to reassure oh-aew (even if the blow up still occurs later on). it’s a process though...and even baby steps are progress.

8 months later and teh’s walking past that same place he and oh-aew walked by during his first night in bangkok...only now the poster is no longer the same red one. it’s blue... as though it’s signifying that this is just teh’s dream alone now, and teh clearly still hasn’t come to terms with that yet.

i’m really happy seeing oh-aew in a much better place now!! it’s so good to see him happy and actually involved in uni with his friends. but watching teh struggle going through casting calls and rejections makes my heart ache. hearing khim’s experience with auditions, and actually having to experience it irl, are two entirely different things. it’s like the reality of the situation is starting to hit in for teh. and that, on top of oh-aew not being there to support him in the same way bc their goals in life aren’t similarly aligned anymore, is starting to take its toll.

god, when teh lined oh-aew and was waiting for his response i was like nooooo don’t do it DON’T DO IT only for him to open ig to check oh-aew’s story 😭(though it IS cute that they have couple pfps). but we’re regressing. and now that they have different social circles it’s even harder to connect than before. teh feels like oh-aew’s being pulled away from him, into another friend group that doesn’t include him...and his insecurities are bubbling to the surface again. teh’s always needed that reassurance that he’s ‘special’ to oh-aew. clearly, we know that he is...but even now that they’re dating, it’s still something that he questions. and esp now that oh-aew is starting to feel like he’s fading further and further away out of reach.

i love seeing all of teh’s friends encourage him. they all understand how tough it is, and to see them all pull together to lift his spirits again is so lovely. but then his mood completely changes again when oh-aew comes to join them for dinner :( teh’s doing that thing again where he says everything’s fine when everything’s not fine (cue that “they ask you how you are and you just have to say you’re fine when you’re not really fine” meme). the flash to teh’s face when top says that he didn’t pass the exam to get into anantasart, and you know he’s just thinking about how he gave up his spot for oh-aew initially, and now that oh-aew’s transferred, it’s kind of like he’s turned it down twice. oof.

when teh tells them all that oh-aew’s transferred to advertising, it’s as though this is his way of trying to separate both his worlds. like oh-aew doesn’t belong here with his drama club friends, and it’s that pettiness that we got from teh in itsay is back in full force all over again. it reminds me so much of that time oh-aew told the itsay gang that he was a virgin, and so teh told his friends at school that he was a virgin too. or when oh-aew sent him that picture of his and bas’ legs touching, so teh retaliated by putting that pic of tarn on his story and leaning in to kiss her. it’s like he always needs to one up oh-aew. he doesn’t want oh-aew to feel the same bond with his drama club friends that teh has (esp when he sees that oh-aew is so close to his uni friends). where oh-aew was anxious about teh and his uni friends not getting on, teh is anxious that oh-aew and his drama club friends will get on too well so he has to create this distinction between them. kind of like his petty attempt to be all “i have my own friends too!!”, but it’s also combined with that feeling of inadequacy that he might not fit into oh-aew’s life anymore. he might not be ‘special’. idk if that makes sense but basically i think that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things during this scene.

when he starts attacking oh-aew at dinner...that was really hard to watch. you ever feel like you want to reach through the screen and just put your hand over someone’s mouth so they stop talking?? it was rough :/ it’s one thing to fight when it’s just the two of you alone, but it’s another thing to tear your partner down right in front of your friends. i understand teh’s feelings (and i know that they’ve been building up over this time), but my frustration was through the ROOF during this. it’s on brand for him, but still. and then poor khim :( i know oh-aew didn’t mean it in that way but the awkwardness of this entire dinner was just overwhelming.

another thing that’s sad about what teh said about oh-aew is that this is a huge sore spot for oh-aew, and it’s always been one of his biggest insecurities. the reason they stopped being friends when they were kids was bc teh said that he was going to quit eventually, so for teh to talk about how “shilly shally and indecisive” he is/how easily he ‘quits’ at things is a low blow when he already knows how much those words hurt oh-aew.

teh has a habit of jumping to conclusions based on oh-aew’s social media posts instead of actually talking things out with oh-aew so naturally it would make an appearance again here as well. and calling oh-aew’s friends “shitty” bc they’re different to him (aren’t as driven as teh and his drama club gang...therefore a bad influence on oh-aew) makes it really evident that teh still has a lot to learn. he really needs to start taking those acting class lessons to heart so he can see that not everyone is the same, and that other peoples’ experiences and perspectives are valid too.

teh’s long pause and “maybe” to oh-aew’s “and if this is what i really am, you’re not gonna like me anymore, are you?” BIG SIGH. it’s so typical of teh. i know he’s honest to a fault, but he REALLY needs to learn to think before he speaks sometimes bc he always ends up regretting it. i love that impulsivity of his, but it’s also one of the most frustrating things about him.

one thing that i find kind of annoying with the time skip is that we miss so much of teh’s festering feelings that it’s a bit harder to empathise with him when he has his eventual blow up?? i think if we were seeing this more consistently, it would be much easier for us to understand things from his pov better. like if we could slowly see this building up more and more as time went on, rather than just time skipping the 8 months until the blow up.

anyway, now khim and top are graduating ;;; i really hope that we’ll still get to see more of them in the next eps. i also love how the people in teh’s life are always so concerned for him (and how oh-aew’s doing). the message behind the book teh gets for khim’s graduation present is really sweet.

when khim first tells them that she’s going to be a flight attendant and teh blows up, i felt really angry at him initially. but upon reflection and rewatching this ep again...i think i understand where he’s coming from a lot better now. obv i still think he was out of line bc of course what khim’s saying makes sense...she can’t keep going to casting calls and scraping by with minor roles when she has to support herself and her family. in the end, we all need money to survive, and sometimes we have to be realistic about it. i really loved what she said about how we can have multiple dreams at once. but yeah, my heart really went out for her so much here :( it might be difficult for teh to see (or accept) rn, but he’s a lot more privileged than he realises. he still has hoon and his mother to support him financially, but not everyone is in the same position. not everyone gets to be as lucky.

regardless, i still understand why teh gets as torn up about it as he does. khim is someone that he’s looked up to and respected SO much...and his own doubts and insecurities have been steadily increasing. first, oh-aew changes majors, then, he keeps getting rejected at auditions, and now, the senior that he respects the most bc of her hard work and determination, is giving up her dream (at least in his eyes) to become a flight attendant. it’s like the world keeps telling him to give up bc it’s not going to work out for him. and he’s invested EVERYTHING into this dream. it’s all or nothing for him. but it’s like everyone else is slipping away, and it’s getting harder and harder to hold onto.

when teh looks at the tie and is reminded of oh-aew always being there to put it on for him :(((((((( ngl i was hoping that teh would be the first one to approach oh-aew (since their fight was bc of him), but i’m glad he apologised at least. and that they had a good talk about their feelings. but then again, this reflection after their fights is what they’ve always been fairly good at. teh just has to learn to stop internalising things so much that he ends up exploding so they don’t get to this point in the first place. so much has flipped from the first ep where oh-aew was the one feeling lonely and out of place. now it’s teh’s turn to feel all alone as he sees everyone’s dreams and goals (but his) start to change. like everyone is moving on and learning to adjust while he’s being left behind.

when they’re promising each other that their love for one another will never change, it just makes me feel so SAD. seeing them in the moonlight like this compared to the first ep when they were on the beach in phuket and teh was so hopeful and oh-aew was so worried :( everything’s already changed so much. making this promise under the moon like this reminds me of how bkpp kept talking about how the ‘ipytm’ title itself means an impossible promise...the two of them hugging in the moonlight as the score plays just feels so painfully bittersweet somehow ;;; my heart is aching, and i want the next ep, but i can’t deny that my anxiety is slowly building.

anyway, i know the end of this sounds so negative but i’m still banking on our teh/oh-aew endgame!!!!!!! it just needs to get worse to get better, and there’s still so much space for them to grow and learn. so many more experiences in store for them.

#i promised you the moon #ipytm #text #i'm sorry this is so long and that it took so long #if you read this whole thing you deserve some type of medal bc idk HOW it got to this point #if only i was able to be this dedicated to my assessments back when i was studying #i was mad with teh during the first watch but that simmered down a whole lot during the second watch #i think it's just hurts me to see him keep shooting himself in the foot #but i know that you mature through your experiences and the way he acts in this is still so consistent with his character #just...can he not hurt oh-aew like this. i just don't want to see him sad anymore pls stop making him sad #ok i'm going to sleep now peace out and until next week where hopefully there'll be some structure to my thoughts for once

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jochasada · 3 years

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Review of We Best Love: Fighting Mr 2nd

(Eh - it’s more of a half-tired ramble but we move)

The angst and stakes in this season were raised much much more than last season. There were so many more moments that tugged at my heart strings and left me in a weeping mess.

However, everything was so sudden. They went from one extremity of fighting until almost having hate sex (which wouldn’t really be hate sex but more of a ‘I miss you’ and ‘how could you hurt me’ kind of sex) to being steadfastly in love.

What I love seeing in a relationship is the build up with certain defining moments. In season 1 this involved slowly seeing the hate and enmity Shu Yi feels for Shi De turn in to friendship to then switching to attraction. We get to see their defining moments in front of our eyes: from the first time Shu Yi tells Shi De they’re friends, to the confession scenes and more. (That bridge scene is UNBEATEN to this day)

In season 2 it felt as though we were missing important movements in their relationship. It was as though from the moment they got back together - that was it. It was no longer important to show defining moments in their relationship after that, as though the audience should be satisfied that they’re back together now and that’s all we need. I needed to see their first kiss after getting back together, or Gao Shi De moving in with Zhou Shu Yi, or their first date together etc etc. In my opinion, it seemed as though the writers wanted them to get back together but weren’t 100% sure how to portray their relationship after that when they had so much else to do in the season (ie Pei Shou Yi and Zhen Xuan).

Speaking of Pei Shou Yi and Zhen Xuan - wtf? Shou Yi suddenly decides to accept Zhen Xuan as a part of his life after Zhen Xuan was ready to leave? But we don’t get to see any explanation or inferences as to Pei Shou Yi’s real thoughts. Why was he so keen on pushing Zhen Xuan away but then decide to hold on? Does Shou Yi not believe Zhen Xuan’s love is obsession anymore? Obviously this man is in love with Zhen Xuan in his own way, but where does their relationship stand? (I’m not sure but apparently we have another season for them? I’ve been too exhausted to keep up to date with WBL news. Hopefully this will all get answered in the coming season if that is the case)

The couple that had the best development and glo up since Season 1 were Bing Wei and Zhe Yu. They stole every scene they were in - particularly Zhe Yu and his prickly but lovable personality. Their love for each other was so subtle yet so strong. They bickered like anything and Zhe Yu loved putting Bing Wei on his toes, but that was their love and it was so meaningful and pure. I love them a lot. (And their matching suits? Omg they’re SO in love it’s ridiculous)

Season 1 of WBL was always going to be hard to beat, because for me that was the type of season I had needed. I would have been content with just season 1 and the season ending there. I think season 1 showed the best version of Zhou Shu Yi and Gao Shi De’s relationship. This meant that season 2 Shi De and Shu Yi were unable to beat this image of their season 1 relationship, even after they got together.

I did enjoy their soft moments and their sweetness, but the energy of their relationship felt altogether different and disjointed. It didn’t work for me as well as it did in first season.

These are all just my opinions. I have loved this show beyond anything. So for me not liking season 2 as much as I wanted to hurts me a lot more than you can imagine. Maybe this is emotional and mental exhaustion that has left me unable to enjoy the second season as much, but even so I think my opinions are very valid, even if they are uncommon.

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skullsandwineglasses · 3 years

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Ancient Love Poetry (2021) - Episodes 1-3 First Impressions

This is not bad so far. I’ve seen a lot of mixed reactions about this drama, but it’s actually pretty decent. I heard that it’s being ripped apart by audiences in China, but some people on reddit mentioned that the drama is actually good, but people are just critical of Zhou Dongyu and Xu Kai. AvenueX was skeptical of the drama, but I find that her reviews of xianxia dramas can be kinda harsh. The drama hasn’t finished airing yet so there aren’t many ratings and reviews on MDL, but the drama currently has an 8.3 on there, which I think is a pretty decent rating even though it’s likely to change as more people finish the drama. Most of the dramas that I’ve enjoyed also average at around an 8.3 on MDL.

Plot

The plot is pretty fast-paced. The leads develop feelings for each other really early on. The opening does a good job of establishing the personalities of the characters and drawing you into the story. A drama will successfully draw me in if it raises enough questions and establishes enough plot points to make me curious to see what will happen next.

The FL has a different background from the FLs in other xianxia dramas. Shang Gu is destined to become the leader of the 4 realms, but she’s been spoiled by her guardians Zhi Yang and Tian Qi, so her powers are underdeveloped. The FLs in other xianxia dramas tend to start off as a nobody/underdog, but Shang Gu starts off as the most highly regarded figure in the realm. She’s basically a princess. Her guardians are played by Li Ze feng and Liu Xue Yu respectively, and they’ve always had such strong performances as supporting characters in other dramas, so it was a pleasant surprise seeing them both here. Their characters have great brotherly chemistry, and they provide comedic relief.

The ML is your stereotypical stoic, brooding, emotionally suppressed, and powerful immortal. He has no interest in women, that is until he’s tasked by Zhi Yang and Tian Qi to be Shang Gu’s mentor in order to help her unlock her powers. All the women in the immortal realm crush over him, but he couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it. Very typical.

Chemistry

The ML and FL’s relationship reminds me of Bai Zhi Hua and Hua Qian Gu’s teacher-student relationship in Journey of Flower, which was the first xianxia drama that I watched. But, unlike Journey of Flower, Bai Jue and Shang Gu are less like teacher-student, but more like bickering enemies who eventually develop feelings for each other.

My issue is that they develop feelings for each other too soon. And so I don’t really feel much chemistry between them, even though I want to. Bai Jue teaches her a few moves, helps her unlock her inner powers, they accidentally touch and get too close physically, and bam, feelings start to form. These are immortals who are thousands of years old. How are they able to develop feelings so easily and quickly? Especially Bai Jue who’s know by everyone to be lofty, emotionless, and misogynistic?

There was only one moment when they were able to emotionally bond, and that was when Bai Jue misunderstood Shang Gu. Shang Gu was trying to fulfill the challenge he gave her, but he mistakenly thought that she was greedy. When he realized he misunderstood her, he began to soften towards her. But this event alone wasn’t convincing enough to make me believe that someone as cold as he is could fall for a spoiled and obnoxious girl like Shang Gu.

They could have made it so that his character secretly enjoys Shang Gu’s loud antics because it makes his home more lively. That’s usually how they do it in other xianxia dramas where the bubbly FL is the manic pixie dream girl who uproots the ML’s quiet lifestyle and he falls for her against his better judgment. But no, they don’t do that in Ancient Love Poetry, so Bai Jue falling for Shang Gu felt forced.

Acting

I’ve loved Zhou Dongyu since seeing her in the 2010 film Under the Hawthorn tree. But because I’ve seen people criticize her in Ancient Love Poetry, I was prepared to be disappointed. But honestly, it’s not that bad. Even her costuming isn’t that bad. She’s not impressive, but then again, it’s not an impressive or complex role. A lot of actresses are capable of playing her type of character, and a lot of actresses already have. But Zhou Dongyu delivers, and she does well with what she’s given.

Xu Kai isn’t terrible, but he could definitely be better. Like what I mentioned above, his character is the stereotypical xianxia ML. And so there have been plenty of actors before him who have shown how to portray a cold, stoic, and resistant character who’s slowly moved by the FL: Cheng Yi in Love and Redemption, Wallace Huo in Journey of Flower (although he also got a lot of flack at the time for being expressionless), and Chang Chen in Love and Destiny. The key to playing this kind of ML is that you’re emotionally suppressed, which means that you try to be emotionless, but there are moments when you can’t hide your emotions and they break to the surface. It’s all about the internal struggle where you pretend to act one way but feel another. As an actor, you need to be able to convey subtle and nuanced microexpressions that reveal how your character truly feels.

Granted, Bai Jue is a little different from Bai Zhi Hua and Sifeng who forbade themselves from falling in love, but Bai Jue is more like Jiu Chen and Ye Hua who just have never known love before and is now experiencing it for the first time. But for all of these MLs, the common thread is that they undergo a change in character. In these first 3 episodes of Ancient Love Poetry, we keep being told by other characters in the drama how Bai Jue has changed “so much” since agreeing to mentor Shang Gu, but I don’t see this change in Xu Kai’s portrayed of Bai Jue.

On reddit, I’ve mentioned how I've seen Xu Kai in The Legends and Arsenal Military Academy and IMO, Xu Kai doesn't really do well in roles where he has to be stoic and emotionally reserved. But he did really well in AMA where his character was a flirty, spoiled rich kid who eventually matures during his time at the academy, and it made me realize that he's capable of acting when given the right opportunity. His character was full of life and the complete opposite of his character in The Legends. He can be really expressive when his character warrants it, but when the character is supposed to be brooding, he doesn't bring enough nuance to his expressions and instead defaults to being flat and unmoving.

I also feel that Xu Kai’s performance was a little better in The Legends than in Ancient Love Poetry, but then again, I’ve only seen 3 episodes of ALP. I don’t know if it’s because his costar was Bai Lu and he felt more comfortable with her, or if it’s because Bai Jue is a character who’s supposed to be old, experienced, and wise, and Xu Kai is still too young to pull off that kind of role. He also looks incredibly young. He’s my age, and I’m just in awe of how clear his skin is and how it still looks like he has some baby fat. I’m also not a fan of his costuming. I like how Zhou Dongyu’s hair frames her face to make her look more delicate, but Xu Kai’s wig seems to flatten his head. I also think he looks better in dark robes like in The Legends, or his leather trenchcoat in AMA. He looked more rugged. But his white clothes in Ancient Love Poetry takes away from his character’s demeanor as a powerful immortal, and unlike Wallace Huo who’s older and thus is able to pull off dainty and delicate white robes, Xu Kai’s baby face doesn’t really pair well with it.

Other notes:

The CGI is probably some of the better CGI that I’ve seen to date, and I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty impressed. Objects magically appear and disappear almost seamlessly, and characters teleport smoothly.

Still waiting for the OST to come into full effect. It probably won’t happen until later in the drama when there’s more angst and emotion, but I also find it weird that they don’t have an opening theme? It’s just Zhou Shen singing some vocal effects, but no actual song.

Overall, I’m going to keep watching. I’m a sucker for xianxia, and I love comparing the similarities and differences between different dramas, so I’m looking forward to seeing how this goes and whether it’s as bad as people say it is.

#ancient love poetry #千古玦尘 #xu kai #zhou dongyu #cdrama #周冬雨 #许凯 #cdrama first impressions #cdrama review #xianxia #romance

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carolyncaves · 4 years

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It’s been three days since I posted a ficlet, but that’s because my hand Really slipped this time and I wrote a canon divergence ‘post-Burial Mounds Wei Wuxian actually goes to Gusu’ fic. I’ll call this Day 19: Journey, but it also includes days 17 and 18 Rest and Breath for bonus points. 3680 words, WWX, LXC, LWJ, JC. Alcohol, vague mental illness (it’s post-burial-mounds wwx), strong undercurrent of wangxian (it’s lwj), angst, tenderness, golden core reveal.

also on ao3

“You do not necessarily need to take up the sword at once,” Lan Xichen called after Wei Wuxian, perhaps too desperately, but it mercifully stopped him in his tracks. “You can come to Cloud Recesses and simply consider it further there.”

“So instead of agreeing to take up the sword, Zewu Jun would like me to agree to agree to it in time. A grand distinction.” Wei Wuxian tipped his head back and drained the rest of the jar of baijiu. When he drew it down and looked at it, the rigid arrogance etched into his profile was mixed very briefly with a desperate despondence. Lan Xichen might not have noticed it, were it not for his conversation with Wangji.

Wei Wuxian had been somewhere terrible for three months, and he was not well. Wei Wuxian needed help. Wangji was forbidden to come, so Lan Xichen had to do this in his place, and please, Xiongzhang, you must get him to agree to come to Gusu, whatever it takes.

After what he’d seen so far of Wei Wuxian’s state, Lan Xichen was not sure it would be within his power. But Wangji had placed his trust in him.

“You will not be required to do anything, if only you will come.”

“I do not recall when Zewu Jun gained the authority to require things of me.”

That hostility could bring them to failure. Lan Xichen needed to shift to his reserve approach. He thought, given the circumstances, Wangji would consent. “To speak even more plainly, it would please Wangji very much to see you. You were correct when you said so yourself. He has been anxious since the close of Sunshot, and lonely at Cloud Recesses. I am asking you for this favor, as his closest confidant, for the sake of my brother’s happiness – so I will not be easily discouraged.” Those words were all true; it had become clear Wangji’s happiness depended very much on Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian’s expression softened once again, this time toward affection. Lan Xichen gave his words time to sink in, and then followed them with a wager: “It will be an opportunity for you to rest.” Despite Wei Wuxian’s bright smile and earnest greeting when they’d met on the street, Lan Xichen had sensed underneath it that Wei Wuxian was haggard and worn.

Wei Wuxian finally turned and looked at him again, and his agitation had fully melted back away. Lan Xichen felt the gentle lift of hope.

“I’m a member of the Jiang sect, aren’t I?” Wei Wuxian asked. “My brother has been named Sect Leader, and needs me now more than ever in his life. How can I go to Gusu with you?”

“Please allow me to ask him,” Lan Xichen said immediately. “On my own behalf, please give me your leave to request of him that you come visit us.” He did not mention, and only barely allowed himself to think, that if Wei Wuxian was here in town drinking baijiu in the middle of the day, he was probably not giving his brother the support he needed regardless.

Wei Wuxian stared at the floor for a very long time. He gave a hollow laugh. “All right. If Jiang Cheng gives you his blessing, I’ll go to Gusu with you.”

Lan Xichen had swayed one immovable stone, only to find another in its shadow.

Jiang Cheng received him almost immediately in Lotus Pier’s Sword Hall. He sat on the carved lotus seat, looking every inch a Sect Leader despite his youthful face. Wei Wuxian stood slightly to one side, looking carefully at the opposite wall instead of either of them.

“Take Wei Wuxian to Cloud Recesses?” Jiang Cheng kept his voice even and respectful, for now, but his features clearly displayed his incredulous irritation. “And you want to go, I suppose,” he added, much more acidly, to Wei Wuxian. “You’d like to run off and see Hanguang Jun, nevermind Yunmeng Jiang.”

“Zewu Jun has asked it of me,” Wei Wuxian said lowly. “Should I just refuse him out of hand?”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed, and Lan Xichen could almost hear his rejoinder – So you make me do it instead? “Have you been drinking? I needed you today. Look at you.”

“Sect Leader Jiang, I am asking this of you as a personal favor,” Zewu Jun said, hoping to coerce Jiang Cheng into discussing it with him instead. “I’m hopeful spending a measure of time together at Cloud Recesses will be beneficial for both my brother and yours.”

“Hanguang Jun is more than welcome to come to Yunmeng,” Jiang Cheng countered.

“Currently Wangji has sect matters he is required to attend to,” Zewu Jun answered, before immediately wincing.

“And Wei Wuxian doesn’t?” Jiang Cheng snapped. He looked incensed with a fire more furious than this one conversation would ignite, implying Wei Wuxian’s truancy today was not an isolated incident; this request was precisely the fuel to grow a smolder into a blaze. “Not that he’s been doing them. Are you planning to stand by my side and help me at any point, Wei Wuxian? Have you no sense of responsibility?”

Lan Xichen saw those words hit Wei Wuxian like a blow, but he was surprised when Jiang Cheng flinched as well. Perhaps he had not intended the second meaning – the implication of blame, as well as duty.

Jiang Cheng took a breath to recover, and apparently that gave him the time he needed to reconsider.

“Forget the thing I just said. You should go with him.”

Wei Wuxian looked right at him, then, for the first time in that conversation, and his face was masked with slow confusion and hurt. “Jiang Cheng …”

“Don’t argue with me! Go cheer up Lan Wangji and yourself, and come back. You’ve been impossible and stubborn since you got back from wherever on earth you were, and I need you to get your head back on straight.” Wei Wuxian’s face had gone blank again during that tirade. Jiang Cheng snorted in exasperation and added, “Don’t forget to take your sword with you, and see if you can come back riding it.”

Wei Wuxian stiffened, and Lan Xichen was briefly terrified the situation would collapse mere inches from success. He stepped forward, clamped a hand down hard on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, and said, “We will bring the sword with us.” He hoped Wei Wuxian would remember the assurances Lan Xichen had given him, so he wouldn’t have to repeat them in front of Jiang Cheng. “Where is it, Wei-gongzi?”

Lan Xichen escorted Wei Wuxian to collect the sword and some personal effects from his room – thankfully, Jiang Cheng remained behind. Suibian was tucked behind a chest of drawers, where Wei Wuxian would not see it as he went about his daily life. Wei Wuxian retrieved it and stared at it like it was alien in his own hand, in contrast to the dark flute he held as at his side as an extension of himself in the other.

He thrust his arm toward Lan Xichen.

This disturbed Lan Xichen, the way Wei Wuxian seemed actively averse to the sword’s presence, but he said nothing; he was on the verge of achieving his mission. All this could be discussed in the fullness of time once Wei Wuxian was safely at Cloud Recesses. He took Suibian in his own hand, for the time being. He would bear this person and his sword to Wangji.

Wei Wuxian was slow and lethargic in his movements, some combination of mood and intoxication. It took all of Lan Xichen’s discipline not to rush him. It felt as if every moment that elapsed could bring some unforeseen stimulus that would knock Wei Wuxian off this vital and fragile course. Eventually he was ready, and as soon as they had sky over their heads, Lan Xichen took him on Shuoyue and maneuvered them into the air.

Lan Xichen relaxed, since they were now underway, which seemed a significant milestone in making this more difficult to stop. Wei Wuxian clung to him in strange desperation with the arm that wasn’t holding Chenqing. He stared down and around and out, face wide and wild as they climbed into the dusky sky, and as the minutes passed he began to shake. Did he feel unsafe relying on someone else to maneuver the sword? Had something happened that had instilled in him a fear of heights?

“Hide your eyes, if you would be more at ease,” Lan Xichen told him. “I assure you, Wei-gongzi, I will deliver you safely.”

Wei Wuxian’s fingers tightened ever so slightly in Lan Xichen’s robes, like he was hesitating, fighting a silent battle. Finally, his head collapsed onto Lan Xichen’s shoulder, his face angled into the side of his neck. Otherwise he said nothing, and did nothing. It was so far distant from the buoyant young man who had come to Gusu for lectures and even the sharp, bright, terrible one he’d seen glimpses of during Sunshot. Wangji had been correct. Wei Wuxian was deeply not well. Lan Xichen had been moderately convinced by the end of their conversation at the inn; now he was beyond certain.

The flight was long, but at the end of it, the patch of garden in front of Wangji’s jingshi came up to meet them, and Lan Xichen set them safely down. Wei Wuxian had made the journey.

///

Lan Wangji heard a sound he quickly placed as Xichen maneuvering Shuoyue, and he was out the door of the jingshi as quickly as he could physically manage it. First, because Xichen would not maneuver the sword within Cloud Recesses if he were not on some urgent mission, and second, because Lan Wangji would not have been able to hear him if he were alone and unburdened.

Sure enough, he was met with the sight of Xichen ushering a rigid Wei Ying from the steel onto the grass. A relief so intense it threatened to send him to his knees expanded through Lan Wangji.

“Wei Ying,” he said reflexively, closing the space between them.

Wei Ying turned to him with glazed, hazy eyes.

“He may still be intoxicated,” Xichen said, “and he has been harrowed by the flight.”

Lan Wangji stopped just before he touched Wei Ying, remembering him step away from him at Yiling Supervisory Office, turn away at the cliffs at Nightless City. This time, Wei Ying let him slowly move in and take him by one wrist. It was hope, and forgiveness, and a plea.

“Let’s get him inside,” Xichen said, which meant Lan Wangji had to release him. He followed as Xichen escorted Wei Ying up the walk. By the time they reached the open doorway, Wei Ying had recovered some of his senses, and he pulled himself out of Xichen’s hold.

“You don’t have to … you didn’t have to,” Wei Ying said coldly. “I shouldn’t be here. I should go back.”

Lan Wangji’s stomach sank, but Xichen just said, “Wei-gongzi, surely you aren’t suggesting I fly you back to Lotus Pier by sword this very moment.”

Wei Ying flinched, even as he scowled at himself for it.

“You must at least take dinner with us, and stay the night,” Xichen continued. “We can discuss it further in the morning if you like. You’re no prisoner here, just a welcome guest.” Xichen extended his arm, gesturing for Wei Ying to continue into the jingshi.

At length, he did.

Wei Ying stopped in the center of the room, standing aimlessly as Xichen and Lan Wangji came in around him. “I’ll go have someone prepare us a meal,” Xichen said. He held out Suibian, which for the first time Lan Wangji noticed he was carrying.

Wei Ying stared at him. He made no move to take it.

Xichen smiled sadly and went to set the sword at one of the places at the table.

Lan Wangji said stepped forward and took Suibian from his hand. “Xiongzhang,” he said, bowing formally with Wei Ying’s sword clasped in his hands, “thank you for bringing Wei Ying here. Now I will speak with him.”

Xichen briefly looked taken aback. Then his gaze floated from Lan Wangji to Wei Ying before returning. “I told Wei-gongzi we would not force him to take up his sword if he came here. That we would not require anything of him if he was unwilling.”

Lan Wangji imagined how the conversation must have gone, for Xichen to make that assurance. “Thank you,” he said again, and he hoped Xichen understood him.

Xichen nodded. “I will have the meal sent over for you.” Xichen acknowledged Wei Ying and left, surrendering Wei Ying into Lan Wangji’s custody.

Wei Ying was here. He had come to Gusu, however tensely. Lan Wangji was not helpless any longer. He could do something. He looked at the sword in his hand. Wei Ying’s wild Suibian. “I will play Clarity for you until the dinner comes,” he said.

“Lan Zhan, you can’t help me.”

“You said you would allow me,” Lan Wangji pushed back, pacing around Wei Ying to face him. “You came here.”

“No, Lan Zhan. You can’t help me.” Wei Ying looked up at him, expression gaunt. He was still thin, from wherever he’d been when he was away. If he was intoxicated, it was the morose kind. “You can play Clarity for me until your fingers bleed. I still won’t take up the sword again.”

“Why not?” Lan Wangji bit out, clenching Suibian in his grip. “What happened, Wei Ying?”

Wei Ying’s gaze was heavy on the sword in Lan Wangji’s hand. He thought for a great, long silence. “You have to believe me this time,” he said, swaying a little on his feet. “If I tell you, you have to believe me.”

Lan Wangji had not believed him when he spun a tall tale about a book and a cave with a dark, haughty grin. He had been afraid to believe him when he mentioned the Burial Mounds with a smile. Now, with Wei Ying standing empty in the jingshi, a silent tear rolling down his face, having relented and left his home so Lan Wangji could help him, Lan Wangji was prepared to believe anything he had to say. Lan Wangji nodded.

“It’s a secret,” Wei Ying pressed instantly, and more tears followed the first. “You need to swear to me you’ll keep it a secret. From Zewu Jun, from your uncle, from everyone. I would die rather than have it be known. Do you understand, Lan Zhan? It’s a secret I was going to die to keep.”

That image, the one of Wei Ying dead, frightened Lan Wangji more than anything had previously in his life. A year ago, it would have seemed impossible – his overloud, overfamiliar other, taken by death. Now, it seemed possible. Now, Wei Ying was barely held together by resentful energy and thin wire.

Lan Wangji raised his head, decided. He crossed the room, to the sword stand where his own Bichen stood. He put Suibian to rest alongside it. Then he turned. Wei Ying had turned to watch him.

Lan Wangji held out his hand, palm up. “Then tell me. We will keep it together.”

Wei Ying looked at his hand like a man going to his death. He looked at it like a man who wanted to be saved. He barely took his eyes off it as he took the three steps sideways necessary to walk over and place Chenqing on the corner of the table. Then he took the three steps back – toward Lan Wangji – and Lan Wangji’s hand in his own.

He drew it toward him and pressed it against his lower abdomen.

It took Lan Wangji a second to process this strange action, and another to follow its implication. He controlled his spiritual energy, reached in to touch Wei Ying’s spiritual core.

Nothing.

Lan Wangji’s hand clenched, pulling in a handful of Wei Ying’s clothes. He could feel his own breath begin to accelerate. Wei Ying’s cultivation was a match for Lan Wangji’s own. How could Wei Ying lack a golden core?

Wei Ying had bit his lip so hard he bled. Lan Wangji raised his other hand instinctively, to wipe the blood and tears away.

“Hanguang Jun,” came a voice from outside, and the door slid open.

The junior disciple holding the tray with their dinner froze on the threshold. Fortunately, Wei Ying was facing away from the door, so the tears on his face would not be visible. Lan Wangji could not begin to imagine what his own showed.

The disciple opened her mouth, then closed it again.

“Place it quickly and go,” Lan Wangji said, his voice harsh even in his own ears. The disciple leapt forward to obey, practically diving across the room and setting the tray on the table. Her sleeve brushed against Chenqing as she withdrew, sending it clattering to the floor. She winced and reached for it.

“Leave it,” Lan Wangji commanded. The disciple gave the quickest bow he had ever seen and fled the jingshi, banging the door closed behind her.

Wei Ying gave a wet laugh. Lan Wangji’s hand was still on his face. “Lan Zhan, that disciple surely thought you were in the middle of ravishing me. By morning, every junior in the Lan sect will be talking about Hanguang Jun and his secret lover.”

Lan Wangji drew Wei Ying into the circle of his arms and crushed him to his chest.

“Wei Ying,” he said into the side of his head. He clutched at him, dug one hand into his hair. “Wei Ying.”

“It’s all right, Lan Zhan, really,” Wei Ying said, voice hollow. “It’s not so terribly bad. I’m practically used to it at this point. But you see why I can’t take up the sword anymore.” Wei Ying was still babbling. “Do you see, Lan Zhan?”

“Enough talking,” Lan Wangji said. His mind was beginning to seek causes and effects. “Wen Zhuliu?”

“I thought you said enough talking,” Wei Ying deflected.

The Wen soldiers had said things that hadn’t made sense to Lan Wangji. They’d said the heir to the Jiang sect had been burned down into a mediocre person. The pieces rearranged themselves, and Lan Wangji spat, “Jiang Cheng. Wen Zhuliu, and Jiang Cheng.”

“Enough talking,” Wei Ying whispered, but his hands finally came up and wrapped around him. He finally took hold of Lan Wangji. And he began to cry. It was quiet. Listless. Unlike everything Wei Ying was.

Lan Wangji held him until he stopped.

He didn’t realize tears were on his own face until they dampened Wei Ying’s shoulder and he felt the coolness.

When eventually they pulled back, Wei Ying was barely on his feet. Lan Wangji walked him over to the table. He food had gone cold, but he needed to eat. Wei Ying picked up Chenqing and placed it back on the corner of the table with a shaking hand. Lan Wangji sat beside him instead of across from him, an arm still wrapped around his waist. He did not know when he would be willing to let go of Wei Ying again.

When Wei Ying finished eating, he realized he would have to.

“I will play Clarity for you,” Lan Wangji said, though it came out more stifled than he intended.

Wei Ying shook his head ruefully. “I’ve taken you too off-guard, Lan Zhan. I’m sure you could if my life depended on it, but you don’t need to play it tonight.”

Perhaps that was best. Lan Wangji did not feel even remotely clear himself. He shifted so he could draw Wei Ying back against him, back pressed against Lan Wangji’s chest. As if it were possible to hold him close enough to make this all right.

“Ah, Lan Zhan, I didn’t know you were going to be quite so possessive of my spiritual power,” Wei Ying said – joking even now, joking already. He tipped his head back on Lan Zhan’s shoulder, showing his exhaustion. “Ah, well, now you know the truth. You can send me back to Lotus Pier tomorrow with a clear conscience.”

Lan Wangji shook his head. Slowly, several times. How could Wei Ying say such false things, even in jest? Lang Wangji cupped a hand under his chin, angling his face up slightly.

Wei Ying stared up at him. “Lan Zhan …”

Lan Wangji leaned down and kissed him.

It was brief and light. Lan Wangji could taste the whisper of baijiu on his breath. Then it was over.

Wei Ying stared up at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, lips hanging ever so slightly agape.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said. “You said you would allow me to help you.”

“Oh,” he said, as if he were truly surprised. His chin drifted back down, and he stared across the jingshi unseeing in thought. Then he took one of Lan Wangji’s hands in both of his own and raised the back of it to his lips. “Thank you, Lan Zhan.”

It was barely seven thirty, long before even the Lan sect’s curfew, but soon Wei Ying was starting to drowse in his arms. Lan Wangji wanted to continue to hold him, but he had been exhausted even when he stepped off Shuoyue. He needed to rest.

Lan Wangji might have carried him to the bed, but he woke and was already pulling himself up before Lan Wangji could arrange it. Instead, he walked at his side, supporting him.

Wei Ying slept the sleep of the bone-weary. Lan Wangji sat beside him and watched. This was worse than anything he’d imagined. But now he understood, and he could stop wasting energy on the false problem and help Wei Ying with the true one.

Wei Ying had dark circles under his eyes and alcohol in his blood and no golden core, but he was safe in Lan Wangji’s bed at Cloud Recesses. As long as that was true, hope was not gone.

part two

#untamed spring fest #the untamed #cql #mdzs #fanfiction #i struggled to figure out what lxc and lwj would call everyone in their internal narration #i decided not to have lxc think 'wei-gongzi' every other sentence and only used it in dialogue #that was hurdle one #then i got to lwj's pov which i've apparently never written before #and i'm like does he think 'xiongzhang' every time he things of his brother? i'm not used to reading that and it seems awkward #so that one went dialogue-only too #then there was 'wei ying'#i've been having wwx think 'lan zhan' when i write his pov bc they're close and that's just how he thinks of him #so 'wei ying' got narration status #is that at all sensical? we just don't know #more whimsically i decided lxc was the kind of guy who would think in semicolons #so i sprinkled in a few #as a treat #anyway the overbearing concept behind this fic was that the main stumbling block in canon #is wwx (feels like he) can't tell anyone why he's put down his sword and picked up demonic cultivation #bc wwx is a mental illness/depression mood #so i wanted to take an 'accepting help when you're struggling' crack at it #long fic long tags that's enough rambling #my fic #wwx #lwj #wangxian #lxc #jc

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tobeornottotc · 3 years

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So much to say about all Friday shows my brain shut down it’s weird how in a day all the shows that aired from we best love to TT finale made my day and made me happy I cried. We best love is a gem that has come and taken my heart it’s everything I love in BL, it’s like reading a novel and never wanting it to end, the pinining, longing and now the angst still upcoming. My love to all the characters? Everything about the acting, music, and writing. Taiwan came back and said you haven’t forgotten why you adorE BL right? Well here’s more reasons. I’ve missed Taiwan shows for so long I used to take the history series for granted despite my love for it and now look at me. We best love is just so great and cheesy and yet done so well I’ve not have any issues with it 😭 it’s not short, I like how angsty yet sweet it gets. Just everything

Then you have to my star. Is there any moment when Korea does something that does not make me shout from the rooftops another great one!! Like are we surprised at this point. Where your eyes linger still is my favourite Korean BL and although different I get the same vibes from to my star, there’s secret pining, confusing hidden hints to maybe more than just a very happy celebrity that is clingy and flirty. Seojun seems to know he likes boys from the start or is it just me. I won’t be surprised that the reason he’s hiding that video is because the reason there was a fight was because it’ll out his sexuality, either he had something with said guy he paid money to keep quiet about or said guy knows about his sexuality and threatened to blackmail him. But it’s the subtle hints that he may know about himself and his feelings like in episode 4 how many times he leaves clues and hints he likes Jiwoo but hides it behind this clingy want to be friends persona, I think when he was drunk he let out his true feelings he’s been hiding and he outed himself on purpose. I’m probably thinking too much but there’d be a lot at stake in my opinion if someone knew he likes guys it’d be a bigger scandal that’s probably why he acts like he doesn’t know when he’s flirting or hinting he likes someone. Just me? Jiwoo is also an interesting tsundere why does he have his walls so up, he clearly also has feelings but in the trailer he’s going to harshly break Seojun’s heart? Obviously I think it’s a lie it’s noble idiocy he realised it was the way to help him not get caught in another scandal. I really need to know more about his character. And the chef who knows more than he lets on who is he speaking to about Seojun does he know the other guy in the video? Does he know why Seojun is hiding the video he seems to have picked on the chemistry of Seojun and Jiwoo more proof that person was right? Let me know what your ideas are on this show. If this show is dealing with internalised homophobia and the scandal of the media invasion and celebrity lifestyle then man it’ll be fun to rewatch this time and time again. Kisses in Korean BL shows have become a staple for revealing a lot of secrets and pushing our couples to confront the truth about what they try to rationalise when it comes to their feelings. In where your eyes linger them entering a relationship was not good for them because it’d lead to separation and more. In Mr heart the kiss was revealed and forced our marathon runner to question his priorities and feelings. And in wish you the kiss happened when Sang yi could no longer run away from what he was feeling even if it meant they couldn’t be together because of same reasons as this show I’m guessing a scandal being caused because idols and celebs dating is a bit forbidden in kmusic and kdrama industry. Loses the fans. And attracts media attention. Let’s see what To my star reveals with this kiss now Seojun isn’t hiding what he feels anymore.

Then we have 1000 stars premiere and I cried at sheer greatness I’m a clown I came into it trying hard to keep my expectations at bay but my 30 minutes in I was bawling stunned and quiet. The directing is exquisite, in depth and littered with clues and hints to the themes of the show. The focus on the flashbacks of Tiens life coated in dark light and suffocating aura compared to the light and warm atmosphere of Torfuns narration whose life seemed hard but she found peace and joy just helping people and learning about the joy of finding value in every little things she had and saw. The peace that Tien couldn’t feel because he felt stifled and empty from his own choices when he thought his life span would be short. He didn’t know the value of money, life or little things. He wasted and gambled precious things to him, acted privelaged and lost hours in a sea of acohol, cigarettes and more. His lifestyle felt wrong after he realised he was given a second chance to find meaning. There’s an overall dark theme of corruption, greed and power that’s going to me an obstacle for the characters. Torfuns demise is clearly more than just an accident with the way people are trying to push her life to the side rapidly, hide details like even selling Tiens car which I have a feeling is what took her life (not him but he bet it in a race before he fainted) or clues that Phupha isn’t going to be done trying to figure out what happened to her it’s foreshadowing this isn’t over yet. We also have another villain who fled during the forest ranger fights at the beginning, he’s definitely coming back I wonder what these criminals want and how much danger Pha will have to deal with with this boss and his other hooligans. Why are they in the forest and what do the rangers have to protect? Lastly our couple met and you can’t tell me that Pha isn’t smitten he is struck with love at first sight immediately he meets Tien but he hides it through his stern cover and he finds it funny to bicker and tease him. He also thinks Tien is too delicate, rich and shallow to stay to help the kids, so he’ll struggle with liking Tiens determination and drive to feeling angry at how much value of life and money he takes for granted but it’s a learning arc something Tien will grow learning and transforming from. Their bickering is cute, both are intrigued by each other already Tien because Pha is connected to Torfun’s wishes and hopes, but also he saw him in the weird fantasy dream thing. He’s intrigued by his stern cover vs why people seem to think he’s sweet and kind. And he’s irked by the guy who keeps getting under his skin and calling him out. It’s going to be fun to see his own reactions and feelings develop slowly and his doubt that it’s his and it’s Torfun’s heart acting up. That conflict will be so interesting to explore and knowing Backaof we’ll get a deeper conversation about sexuality, spirituality and more. All his shows even his fantasies have these deep reflections and conversations about feelings and life of someone struggling with what their sexuality is to them. Even when fantasy he never fails to include those scenes. But also there’s always a massive plot twist hidden in the story that could tear our characters apart, and it’s connected to our girls demise 🥺 i have so much more to say about this show. But for now just know I’m obsessed in awe and excited for this journey. It’ll be emotional a roller coaster of emotions and lessons, but also a love story I can’t wait to see unfold

Lastly TT finale. It’s precious to say TharnType will always have a place in my heart, marked into it as my favourite couple. Their love is so incredible, everlasting and theirs, their journey to each other has never been easy and yet their love is constant, precious and real. They make me smile and want to cry because I still can’t process we’ve come to the end. Boy was it a good way to say goodbye. I will miss this show, the annoyances, problems and also the good moments. I will miss my LeoFiat dramatic souls, their angst and their own journey to each other. Glad to seeFiat finally got to define the relationship he’s been hoping and waiting for. And Leo finally got to show Fiat how much he’s cared. Question why didn’t I get a kiss scene from them? Forever staying petty about that. Champ and Khun did what they were meant to do, their own relationship was also adorable and I just wish it wasn’t only the last episode we had to deal with their confession and realisation that there’s been something here all along. Champs cute though his nativity and dumbness was real and pure but I like how he understood what he was feeling and why he wanted Khun by his side and more. So well done to them getting together. We had Tharn finally Wade his way into Type’s fathers acceptance I wish he wasn’t just a comedic role but we had more conversations serious ones about him learning to accept Tharn still it was wholesome he grew to finally let them be together he understood Type was never going to leave Tharn and was at his best with him. Love the Kirigun family and how much they push Tharn to be his best. Their support was earnest and I loved we saw Thorn get married like a full circle after he proposed and found his own love story. We Stan a very protective supportive older brother who has always been a source of help during TT relationship. Techno irked me in this series and he became one of my least fave characters his snooping whilst cute just didn’t mesh well with me and I kept wondering where his man was because he acted like someone who wasn’t satisfied in the relationship he was in. Just an annoying presence overall. Sorry not sorry. That being said I didn’t hate this sequel and I know rewatching it as second part to TT journey watching 24 episodes of TT back to back will be an emotional experience and will show you all the clues, meta, subtext and overall plot of these two in a better light. Overall TT is always going to be a fave show of mine, and the sequel whilst not fulfilling all my expectations it made me still feel like it was worth my attention and care. Thank you to the cast, crew and production for this. My Fridays will never be the same we’re really now in 2021 with these new shows 😭 just manner of d@earth to go. 😭

Friday shows bringing me joy, excitement and most of all new lessons and new ideas. I’m so excited and I loved that these are the shows we have in January. Let’s hope they keep being great and our Fridays stay exciting and warm 👌

#we best love #to my star #1000stars #tharntype #Thai bl #bl series #bl drama #Korean bl #reviews #analysis #no 1 for you

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eunsjisoo · 3 years

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the one i’ve been missing

☆drama: weightlifting fairy kim bok joo

☆word count: 1.8k

☆genre: fluff and slight angst

☆a/n: happy holidays @missyriver!! (and sorry that this is so late). i hope you had a good year, and i hope you enjoy this short piece of holiday fluff (that is slightly angsty). this is lowkey inspired by the little mix song.

Bok Chicken was bustling with festive energy, the sounds of laughter, bickering and music filling the air. Bok Joo couldn’t help but feel at home as she looked around the restaurant. She watched with a fond smile on her lips as her father and uncle bickered over the stove, arguing over who was better at cooking. She watched Seon Ok, Nan Hee and Tae Kwon huddled in the corner, chatting and laughing at Tae Kwon antics. Even Joon Hyung’s family was there, cooing over Jae Yi and Ah Young’s baby girl and admiring the trophies and photos of Bok Joo from her childhood. For the first time in months, she was back home with her family.

But there was one person missing, and try as she might to ignore it, Bok Joo couldn’t help but feel his absence. It had been at least 2 weeks since she had last seen him in person. Between their training and competition schedules, they barely got to see each other. When she was in Korea, he would be on the other side of the world competing in a competition, and vice versa. Sure, they spoke to each other on a daily basis, and even video called each other when they missed each other too much, but it wasn’t the same as actually being together. This had been the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other face to face and boy, did she miss him.

“Bok Joo-yah?”

Bok Joo shook herself out of her thoughts, looking up from her glass to see who had called her.

Nan Hee looked at her, with her usual happy virus smile on her face. “Are you ok? You’ve been quiet all night. It’s unlike you.”

Bok Joo pushed the brightest smile she could muster on her face, “Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be ok?”

Nan Hee smiled softly, knowing that Bok Joo was putting on a brave face, so she grabbed Bok Joo’s hand, “Ok, come join us then. Tae Kwon thinks he can beat Seon Ok in a drinking competition.”

“Why does he bother?” Bok Joo laughed, “She beats him at every challenge he makes.”

Nan Hee laughed along with her, as they walked over to the couple. “I don’t know, maybe he just wants to win against her once.”

“She should just let him win.” Bok Joo said, shaking her head with a smile on her face as she watched the couple line up their shot and beer glasses.

“Seon Ok would never do that.” Nan Hee said, as she grabbed the soju and beer bottles from the fridge and placed it on the table.

Tae Kwon looked up from pouring soju into the shot glasses, as the two women came to their table. “By the way, when is Jung Joon Hyung coming? He’s going to miss watching me beat Seon Ok.”

“Yah!” Seon Ok and Nan Hee yelled in unison, both turning to look at Bok Joo.

“It’s ok, girls.” Bok Joo pushed a smile onto her face, and turned to Tae Kwon, “His flight is delayed, so he probably won’t be here until tomorrow.”

“Ah, sorry.” Tae Kwon rubbed his arm, after Seon Ok had hit him. “I’m sure he’ll be here as soon as he can be.”

“Yah, yah, yah, let’s just start this competition.” Seon Ok said, pushing her boyfriend towards the drinks.

“Ok! Let’s start.” Tae Kwon said, in his usual hyper tone. “Nan Hee, you count down.”

As Nan Hee counted down, Bok Joo couldn’t help but get caught up in the fun of watching the couple competing against each other. She cheered at the top of her lungs with Nan Hee as Seon Ok moved onto her 2nd drink, while Tae Kwon was still on his first drink. Her stomach hurt from laughing so hard when Seon Ok finished her last drink and started doing her victory dance around her boyfriend. Even though he had lost, Tae Kwon looked like he was having the time of his life, as he watched his girlfriend dance around him with a smug smile.

Once Seon Ok had settled down, she wrapped her arm around Tae Kwon’s shoulder, and said, “Face it, you can’t beat any of us three at drinking.”

“Ok, ok, I accept that. You three are the queens of drinking, and I will never get to your level.” Tae Kwon jokingly bows down to them.

The three girls looked at each other with smug smiles. “Swag,” they chorused, making their signature arm movement as they said it.

After a while of chatting with her friends, Bok Joo saw her dad wave her over. She excused herself and walked over to him. “Bok Joo-yah, can you go outside and get the present I left in the motorbike compartment?”

Bok Joo raised her eyebrows, “What present did you get?”

“It’s a surprise, please get it for me. I need to look after your uncle, otherwise he will burn everything.”

“I heard that. I’m a better cook than you, hyung.”

Bok Joo’s dad rolled his eyes, “According to who?”

“My girlfriend,” Dae Ho smiled, with a lovestruck expression on his face. Bok Joo shared a look with her dad, both cringing from her uncle’s expression.

“I’m going now.” Bok Joo grabbed a jacket from the hook, and made her way to the front door.

She stopped outside the door, pulling the jacket closer to her body. The snow crunched under her shoes, as she made her way to where the motorbike was parked. As she opened the compartment at the back of the bike, she felt arms around her waist, causing her to jump and elbow her attacker.

“Oof, yah, it’s just me.” Bok Joo whipped around to see Joon Hyung hunched over, clutching his stomach.

She stared at him in shock. “Yah, you said you won’t be here until tomorrow.”

Joon Hyung stood up slowly, as he recovered from the pain of being elbowed by his weightlifter wife, a bright smile gracing his lips as he took in her appearance.

“I wanted to surprise you.” Joon Hyung wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to his chest. He nuzzled into her neck, taking a deep breath as he said, “I missed you.”

Bok Joo smiled, deciding to let go of her annoyance and bask in the moment of being with her husband. “Me too. But you should know better than to scare me like that.”

Joon Hyung pulled away slightly, to look at Bok Joo with a sheepish expression. “Sorry. I must have lost my mind because of the jet lag and hunger.”

Bok Joo giggled, shaking her head. “That’s ok. Let’s go inside and get you some food.”

Bok Joo pulled away from him, and grabbed his gloved hand. As she pulled him towards the door, he couldn’t help himself from saying, “I love you.”

“You should be glad that I love you, otherwise I would have killed you for surprising me like that.”

The two of them dusted the snow off of their jackets, and hung them on the hook, before entering the restaurant. As soon as everyone noticed Joon Hyung trailing behind Bok Joo, they all yelled out in surprise, and rushed to greet and hug him. Bok Joo stood next to him as he hugged each of his family and she couldn’t help but feel like her family was finally complete. A warm feeling settled in her stomach as she watched him carry his niece for the first time, her tiny body completely enveloped his long arms. He would be such a good father, she thought to herself, as she saw the adoration in his eyes when he looked at the child in his arms. Next were their friends, and she laughed as Tae Kwon teasingly punched Joon Hyung for not telling him about his surprise. But her laughter stopped as soon as her friends decided to tease her about how “devastated” she was that Joon Hyung wasn’t going to be there for Christmas.

“Yah, what are you saying? I wasn’t devastated.” Bok Joo defended herself, “I was just a bit sad.”

“But you’re happy now, right, Chubs?” Joon Hyung asked, with a teasing smile on his face.

Bok Joo glared at him, playfully, “no, not at all.”

Before he could make another comment, Bok Joo’s dad interrupted, “Ok everyone sit down, the food is ready.”

Everyone took their seat, and looked in awe at the food the Kim brothers were bringing out, and as soon as everything was set, they all dug into the food.The sounds of laughter and chopsticks hitting against plates filled the restaurant, as everyone caught up with each other, and reminisced about past memories. By the time the plates were cleared, everyone was blissfully full and some were even bordering on drunk. Bok Joo rested her head on Joon Hyung’s shoulder as Nan Hee interrogated Seok Ok and Tae Kwon about their relationship, which they had kept a secret from the rest of the group until a few months ago.

“Did you know about their relationship, Joon Hyung?”

Bok Joo raised her head slightly to look at Joon Hyung, raising her eyebrow at him. He better not have known and kept it from her.

“I didn’t know, I swear.”

Bok Joo narrowed her eyes, as she looked for any sign that he was lying. When she was satisfied, she put her head back on his shoulder, and wrapped her arm around his. Joon Hyung held her hand, interlocking their fingers, as Nan Hee turned back to their traitorous friends. Though it wasn’t like Joon Hyung and Bok Joo could hold it against them, since they also kept their relationship a secret. But considering the crap their friends gave them when they found out about their relationship, Bok Joo felt like she should tease Seon Ok and Tae Kwon just as much as they teased her.

“I thought that we agreed that we won’t keep our relationships a secret from each other, especially after what you said when you found out about my relationship.” Bok Joo sighed dramatically, winking at Nan Hee discreetly, who wholeheartedly joined in on Bok Joo’s teasing.

Bok Joo laughed at Seon Ok’s exasperated expression, and she could feel Joon Hyung laugh along with her. He turned his head slightly, to whisper, “Should we make them buy us food like they did to us? Let’s drain Tae Kwon’s bank account.”

Bok Joo giggled and nodded, “They deserve it.”

Bok Joo looked up, and she felt her heart swell as she locked eyes with Joon Hyung. How he could still make her swoon like a high schooler, after they had been together for years, was a mystery to her. But, boy did she love that feeling: the feeling of home. Because that was what he was to her. Her home. And now that she was home, she didn’t want to leave.

#kdramasecretsanta #kdramanetwork #wfkbj #mine #i rewrote this like 50 times #hence why it's so late #also first time i'm writing fanfics for kdramas #how do people do this?#i feel like all the characters are acting ooc in this #anyway i hope you like it #kdnsecretsanta

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rosethornewrites · 4 years

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Fic: the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break, ch. 6

Characters: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Wēn Qíng, Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín, Granny Wēn, Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī

Additional Tags: Pre-Slash, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Secrets, Crying, Masks, Soulmates, Truth, Self-Esteem Issues, Regret, It was supposed to be a one-shot, Fix-It, Eventual Relationships, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, wwx needs a hug, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Filial Piety, Handfasting, Phobias, Sleeping Together, Fear, Panic Attacks, Love Confessions, Getting Together, Phobias

Summary: When Wei Ying wakes, they have a long-overdue conversation.

Note: See end.

AO3 link

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

———

Lan WangJi stirs naturally at mao shi, confused by the feeling of someone against him at first. Wei Ying is still curled in his arms, his face pressed against his chest, one hand fisted in his robes.

When he tries to disentangle himself, it’s more difficult than expected. He finds Wei Ying’s other hand is clinging to a lock of his hair, and both fists tighten at the movement.

Then Wei Ying stirs, jerking back immediately and yelping, “Dog!” as though still trapped in his panic of the night before.

Lan WangJi finds himself pulled part way with him, as Wei Ying neglects to release his hair.

“Eliminated, Wei Ying,” he says softly, watching the bleariness of sleep slowly fade from his eyes.

Thankfully, the remnants of last night’s panic fade with it, and Wei Ying lets go of his hair, wincing in sympathy as he realizes he’s pulled it.

“Sorry,” he murmurs.

“There is no need, between us,” Lan WangJi gently reminds him. “I did not realize you were afraid of dogs.”

Wei Ying flinches, and he realizes the fear is strong enough that he reacts to just the word.

“Wei Ying?”

He keeps his tone soft, a request, but one that can be ignored if he so wishes. Instead Wei Ying sighs, and reaches down to pull up a leg of his trousers, revealing flesh marred by old scars.

“The other one is the same,” he says. “And they go higher. Living on the streets means fighting dogs for food. You learn pretty quick they’re mean.”

“How long?” Lan WangJi asks, trying to keep the horror from his voice.

Wei Ying shrugs, rolling his trousers back down.

“I don’t remember. A few years. I didn’t keep much track of time. Too young when my parents died, and no one really knows exactly when that was.”

He can see Wei Ying shiver, and wraps the blanket around him.

“It’s only mao,” he tells him. “You can sleep longer.”

That gets a grimace. “Not likely to sleep. Even if you got rid of that damn thing. I’m surprised it didn’t give me nightmares.”

“Of your childhood?”

Lan WangJi knew he had cried out about dogs in his fevered sleep, but that was during a fever. Though, perhaps, after trauma…

Wei Ying shakes his head.

“I never told you. In Nightless City, when Wen Chao took me for ‘questioning’...”

He trails off, his mouth a thin line, and draws the blanket around him tighter.

“When I didn’t have information on the missing Yin Iron he put me in qi-suppressing chains and tossed me in the dungeon, in a cell with a very hungry dog. So big its teeth were level with my face.”

Wei Ying smiles, but it’s without mirth.

“Said if I was still alive in the morning, all would be forgiven.”

Given what had happened only hours ago, Lan WangJi doubts Wei Ying, even with his qi, could have fought effectively. Wen Chao wouldn’t have known of his crippling fear, but had not expected him to survive regardless.

He remembers that morning, the blood on Wei Ying’s skin, the rips in his clothing, and his show of flippancy. But he also remembers he had been quieter after that, putting on a mask of carelessness, but also careful to toe the line.

Suddenly Wei Ying’s fear of dogs in the delirium of fever has a new context.

“You survived,” Lan WangJi comments.

Wei Ying laughs shortly.

“Only thanks to Wen Ning. He knocked it out with needles, and gave me energy boosting medicine and herbs to stop the bleeding. I was able to save some of the herbs. That’s why I had them in the cave.”

For a moment, silence stretches between them, and Lan WangJi reflects on the scene Wei Ying had caused at the banquet, his anger and grief at Qiongpi Path. Wen Ning, who had also saved Jiang Cheng from Wen Chao after the fall of Lotus Cove, who had sheltered them.

Wen Ning, who the Jins and many of the other sects would, and had, happily killed. Just as, he suspects, they would Wei Ying, particularly with the prize of the Stygian Tiger Seal. Jin Guangshan’s obsession with it bothers Lan WangJi, with his zhiji now unprotected by a sect, alienated from the cultivation world.

“I would have died in that dungeon,” Wei Ying comments, “a warning to all of you to behave, if he hadn’t stepped in.”

Lan WangJi tries not to imagine it, but he can, all too easily. Instead of Wei Ying joining the line at indoctrination and complaining of hunger and boasting of his glorious scars, his corpse being dragged to be dumped in front of them.

Wei Ying’s death would have crushed him, he thinks. With his brother missing and father and uncle injured, his sect decimated, the promise to Lan Yi broken… to lose Wei Ying at that point would have destroyed what was left of his sanity.

Lan WangJi, too, owes a tremendous debt to Wen Ning.

“But maybe they wouldn’t have attacked Lotus Pier, then.”

It’s barely a whisper, one so filled with grief and guilt Lan WangJi is reaching for his arm, gripping it through the blanket, before he realizes it, imaginings of Wei Ying’s bloody body in various states of brokenness on the steps of Nightless City haunting his mind. He can feel the tension in his body, as though Wei Ying is on the verge of shattering.

“Wei Ying. They would have attacked regardless.”

“They were just going to make it a supervisory office at first. If I was punished.”

Lan WangJi isn’t sure he wants to know what that entailed, but he asks anyway.

“Punished?”

Wei Ying shrugs. “My hand. It would’ve prevented the massacre. I think Madam Yu was going to do it, too. But then they mentioned Lotus Cove becoming the supervisory office.”

He feels a chill at the idea of Wei Ying mutilated like that, of having never heard him play the dizi, of the pain he would have accepted for the sake of others. This image, so quickly on the heels of the previous… He knows Wei Ying would have given his core anyway, even with such an injury.

“Wei Ying, they only would have started with your hand,” he says softly. “They would have come back and wanted more.”

He receives no response, and he knows nothing he says will convince Wei Ying that the fall of Lotus Pier, the deaths of the disciples and Jiang FengMian and Yu ZiYuan, perhaps even the war itself… None of it was his fault. Worse, he knows Wei Ying would feel any loss on his part would be acceptable, that Wei Ying always feels thus.

But he can’t help himself, and can only try anyway.

“You lost enough in the war, Wei Ying. Wen RuoHan was to blame for the fall of Lotus Pier, not you. Likely he was only defeated because of your contribution and sacrifices.”

Wei Ying had been avoiding looking at him, but his gaze lifts to meet his finally. His eyes shine as though he is on the verge of tears, and there’s a tightness in his jaw. He had this look months ago, during the hunt when Jiang YanLi defended him publicly against the ugly accusations of Jin ZiXun. He truly isn’t used to being defended, to being valued.

Lan WangJi takes a moment to collect himself, to find words.

“I wish you had not suffered as much as you did. I wish you did not suffer still. You do not deserve to suffer, Wei Ying.”

Normally he would expect Wei Ying to be flippant, to make light of everything, but for once his zhiji has let himself be open. Lan WangJi can only hope it means he has regained his trust, but it could simply be the early hour and weariness following the panic of the dog spirit.

“‘A candle illuminates others at the cost of burning itself up.’” He tightens his hold on his arm. “You cannot shoulder the burdens of the world yourself. Let me help you.”

Silence stretches between them for a short while.

“Lan Zhan, do you think you can help me?”

A year ago, the question would have been asked in a hard voice, defensive. Now, Wei Ying’s voice is so small, as though he wonders if anyone can help him. It tears at Lan WangJi, reminds him of how very late he is, reminds him of when he asked Wei Ying to let him help before, and failed to see it through.

He can find no words to answer; instead, he decides to let his guqin speak, let the music speak, and hope his zhiyin truly understands. He lets go of Wei Ying’s arm and manifests his guqin, begins the gentle melody of “WangXian.”

Wei Ying relaxes by increments as he plays, easing to lean back against the wall of the cave. Lan WangJi runs through the song twice, then stills the strings, dismisses the instrument, and waits quietly.

“I remember where I heard that now,” Wei Ying says, breaking the silence left in the wake of the music. “The cave. After we fought the XuanWu. You sang for me.”

“Yes. You were ill from your injuries, from infection.”

Wei Ying hums softly, his eyes closed as though remembering.

“I think I asked what it was called, but I don’t remember the answer. I must have passed out.”

So he truly hadn’t heard; his behavior upon his reappearance had been unconnected to what Lan WangJi had thought was his confession.

“You were delirious with fever,” he tells him, hedging. “Do you know the significance of the Lan forehead ribbon?”

Wei Ying frowns at him, clearly confused by what appears to him to be a change of subject, peering at him through the dusky gloom of the cave.

“Something about restraint. No one’s supposed to touch it.”

Lan WangJi sighs softly.

“‘To regulate oneself,’ more precisely. Only family and cultivation partners are permitted to touch it.”

There’s a minute change in Wei Ying’s expression, but he can’t quite see well enough in the dim lighting to tell what it is. He pulls a talisman from his sleeve and activates it, lighting the candles that line the cave on small juts in the stone.

“Do you remember the Cold Spring cave?” he asks, pressing on, watching his face.

Wei Ying is silent, but his brows knot. It takes less than a minute for him to realize, his lips parting in shock.

“We bowed,” Wei Ying whispers, his voice hoarse. “That was a handfasting? I didn’t know. You never said.”

Lan WangJi doesn’t know how to reply, so says nothing.

“Why didn’t you?” Wei Ying looks confused now. “It’s not… We never… You can have it annulled.”

He tries to find the words, anything that would help him convey what he means, but speaking is not his forte, especially with Wei Ying trying to point out the marriage is technically not valid because it was never consummated, which isn’t the path his mind needs to embark on at the moment.

“I did not wish to,” Lan WangJi finally says. “I still do not.”

Wei Ying stares at him, looking frozen, as though the words have paralyzed him. He still looks confused, uncertain. Lan WangJi returns to the music.

“The title of the song is ‘WangXian.’”

Wei Ying’s reaction is a small intake of air, almost a gasp. Emotions flit across his face too fast to decipher, before he hides it in the blanket.

“Lan Zhan.”

His voice is muffled and rough.

“I can’t cultivate to immortality anymore, Lan Zhan. The resentful energy… you were right, when you said it harms the body and mind. I don’t know if I’ll even… if I’ll even have a mediocre lifespan. I’ll leave you.”

Nowhere in what he has said, Lan WangJi realizes, is a rejection. Rather, it’s an attempt to convince him that Wei Ying isn’t good enough, isn’t worthy. To remind him that Wei Ying accepted a shorter lifespan and pain to help his brother. As though his selflessness would ever make him unworthy.

Lan WangJi reaches out, grasps Wei Ying’s arm under the blanket again. It is still painful to be reminded of the fleeting time they’ll have, but at the same time it makes what he has to say more important, makes the idea of wasting any more devastating.

“Then I will find you again in your next life, and every life thereafter if necessary,” he promises.

He recognizes the sound Wei Ying makes in response as a choked sob, and pulls him close, into his arms.

“You deserve better,” Wei Ying mumbles against him, still hiding his face. “I’m not—”

“Wei Ying,” he interrupts, not willing to hear his zhiji put himself down. “I want only you.”

Wei Ying’s breath hitches, and he finally looks up, his face wet, his lips trembling. Lan WangJi abandons decorum, reaching to card one hand in the hair below his ear, curling his fingers at the nape of his neck, and leaning in to kiss him.

This first kiss is clumsy, as he isn’t quite sure what one is supposed to do with one’s lips, and it doesn’t seem Wei Ying is entirely clear on it either—but Wei Ying is reciprocating. He’s reciprocating, and Lan WangJi’s heart sings with the understanding that this is truly not rejection.

When he pulls back, Wei Ying looks startled, flushed, maybe even shy. But he doesn’t seem to be crying anymore, which Lan WangJi counts as a win.

He finds himself relieved when Wei Ying softly teases him, that he’s moved away from the brooding and seriousness that has plagued him since they woke. He’s been pulled out of his melancholy depression, and there’s a kind of power there—Lan WangJi did that.

“You stole my first kiss,” he murmurs, his voice almost coy. “You’ll have to take responsibility.”

“Mm,” he agrees. “I did when we were fifteen.”

Wei Ying’s startled laugh is like music to him, and he pulls him gently down onto the pallet to kiss him more.

All else can wait.

-----------------

AND THEY WERE HUSBANDS. I’ve been thinking about this chapter for a couple weeks now. Glad it’s finally written.

“A candle illuminates others at the cost of burning itself up” is a Chinese proverb I felt fit in this situation.

#my fanfiction #the untamed #untamed fanfiction #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #chen qing ling #cql #mdzs fanfiction #mdzs fanfic #cql fanfic #cql fanfiction #untamed fanfic #lan zhan #wei wuxian

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queen-of-the-avengers · 4 years

Text

For Better or Worse

Characters: Vampire hunter!Peter Parker x Vampire!Reader

Word Count: 2,024

Warnings: kind of fluff? but mostly angst, vampire shit

Summary: There are vampires and vampire hunters. Vampires fear the Parker and your families. They’ve taught you everything you need to know. But there is one thing they don’t tell you... what happens when one of you turn into one?

Squares Filled: vampire au for @marvelredteambingo // “i don’t believe you” for @spider-man-bingo // gods and villains for my first card of avengersbingo // hero complex for my second card for @avengersbingo

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

The world is a dangerous place. There are creatures that run amok that only cause death and destruction. Yes, you're talking about vampires. They are creatures of the night with a thirst for blood. Your family has been hunting them for centuries. What you know, you've learned from them. You've killed approximately ten vampires in your life, all of them bloody and violent. You've never met one who was actually nice or wasn't thinking about blood.

You know everything there is to know about vampires. Your family taught you how to kill them, but your best friend taught you how to understand them. Peter has been there for you ever since you could remember. His family and yours are notorious vampire hunters. Even non-vampires fear you.

It was hard growing up and transferring to different Schools. People were scared to make friends with you because they knew what your last name meant. Teachers wouldn't fail you in fear of getting fired, lunch lady's gave you the best food because they knew what kind of weapons your parents had. The principal let you get away with almost anything. Everyone treated you like you were the monster; All except Peter. He treated you like an equal.

Both your families moved around together so you and Peter were always together. He made life bearable. He's the one to show up on your dates when you got stood up. He’s the one to go shopping with you when the other girls wouldn't. He was even your Prom date when no one asked you. He's the best thing to ever happen to you, and you don't know what you'll do if you ever lost him.

Speaking of, you're on your way to his house right now to binge-watch whatever's new on Netflix. It's dark and late, but you're only a few blocks from his house. This is the perfect time for vampires to strike, but you're not worried one bit. Your mom would kill you if she knew you left the house without any protection. but vampires knew better to stay away from the town where the Y/LIN and the Parker clan live. Your families pretty much ran the vampires out of town and scared the remaining ones in to not coming in. Plus, you're two minutes away, and then you'll be safe in the arms of Peter.

The alley you're in is dark and gloomy, but you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Once you pass through that, Peter's house is only a block away. You're halfway through the alley when you hear someone scratching their nails against the dumpsters. You look back only to see no one there. You just want to get the hell out of here, so you turn to run, only to smack right into another person--man.

"Where are you going?" he sneers.

Years of kicking vampire ass and long-ass training sessions with your family made you prepared so that you can kick anyone's ass, including this "tough" man. However, when he smiled, you can see the moonlight shimmer off his newly cleared fangs.

Shit.

"What? No witty comeback about how I need to savor this moment because you're going to kill me?" he laughs. "What about you telling me that your hunter friend lives right around the corner so he's going to come save you? Hmm?"

"You must not know who I am. I'm part of the YI LIN family. And that "friend" you mentioned is part of the Parker family."

You didn't know what to do since you have no weapons on you. You just hope he's dumb--or smart-- enough to run away.

"I know," he laughs. "I watched you leave your house... weaponless. Your friend, well, one of my friends is making sure he's distracted enough. Don't worry, she won't hurt him too much. Now, It wouldn't be fair to kill you without giving you some kind of edge. I'm a vampire, not a monster. So, I'll give you to the count of ten before I sink my fangs into your neck," he lets go of you. "One, two, three..."

It takes you three seconds to realize he's not joking. You take off running as fast as you can. All those training hours at the track better not fail you now. You're not sure how much distance you've made, but you're not about to look back now.

"Seven, eight, nine, ten," the vampire grins.

He's on your ass in a second, and he drags you back into the alley. You scream for help, but he's clasped his hand over your mouth. His chest is pressed to your back, and that gives him perfect access to your neck. Curse you for putting your hair up. He leans down really close to your ear and speaks with hatred.

"I was going to kill you, but your family has put mine through so much pain. You think you know what a vampire is? Reading all those books has got you prepared, huh? Think again. I'm not going to kill you. I'm just going to turn you."

He sinks his fangs into the side of your neck. Pain flourishes from the initial site and spreads a burn throughout your body. You squirm and thrash in his arms, but he's got you pretty locked up. He takes enough blood from you to keep you calm and still, then he shoots his poison into your body. Each vampire stores enough poison in their fangs to turn one person each. Turning humans into vampires is so uncommon because vampires save their poison for people they love and want it. Turning someone out of spite is n't unheard of, but it’s unlikely. You guess you're just one of the unlucky ones.

The vampire pulls away when he's finished, and your blood drips down his chin deliciously. You drop to the ground with a loud thump, but the vampire just stares at you. He smirks and takes out a white handkerchief to wipe away the red crimson. Only until there is no more white left to be seen on the small cloth does he drop it next to your body.

"Let's see how well you do as a vampire. You think you know us, but you don't. None of you do. Now, you're going to see what it's truly like to be one of us," he finishes and walks away.

The alley is quiet, no one is coming to save you now; not like they could if they wanted to. The damage is already been done. What little blood you have left seeps onto the ground in a pool next to your head. All is quiet until a few seconds pass. The wound on your neck starts to heal itself as the poison works its way through your body. Every imperfection you thought you had goes away as the poison tries to correct what's been flawed. Your hair becomes fuller and shiner, your body becomes thinner and toner, your eyes become a shade brighter, and your blood becomes that of a vampire's.

You take your first breath in ten minutes. The world is different than what you knew. Everything Is brighter and clearer. You can hear things from miles away. You can smell things that have been buried deep within the earth. Everything is changing for you, especially your bloodlust. You turn and go back the way you came. There has to be something you can eat. The good thing about being a hunter is knowing where and how vampires get their blood. The bad thing is you're no longer a hunter.

You never made it to Peter's house.

Being a vampire isn't what you were expecting. Everyone has always said vampires are ruthless monsters, but you don't feel ruthless or monstrous. In fact, you feel like yourself only with heightened senses. While you do have a craving for blood, the people you've been staying wins have shown you ways to drink blood without hurting anyone.

You were kind of nervous to talk to other vampires because of who your family was, but they were all so welcoming. There is a rule that it doesn't matter where you come from, you'll always be accepted. You didn't know this was a rule. There's a lot of things you didn't know. The vampire who turned you is n't speaking to you, but it's a good thing. You don't know whether you'll thank him for turning you or strangle him.

While you're still getting used to drinking blood now, your life isn't all that different. In fact, you're a better person than you were before. Vampires have all these amazing powers and abilities that you use them to help. For example, you volunteer at the hospital now since your blood can heal others. It can 't heal major diseases like cancer, but you do what you can.

Being a vampire isn't all that bad. They aren't monsters, just misunderstood.

Now all you have to do is tell Peter and you're good. Fuck telling your parents. They've been lying to you ever since you could comprehend what the word "vampire" meant. You can 't keep this a secret for much longer, so you’re on your way over to his house right now.

"Oh my God, you're alive," Peter says when he lets you in.

"What does that mean?" you ask nervously.

Did he somehow find out about the attack?

"You've been MIA for a couple of weeks. I finally see you only when you want to talk. Is everything okay?"

"Yes and no. look, there is something you should know. I'm not sure how you're going to take it, but please don't hate me."

"YIN you're scaring me. What is it?"

"A few weeks ago when I was supposed to come over for Netflix night, I was attacked. By a vampire."

"What the fuck? Are you okay? Why didn’t you tell me?" he exclaims.

"I want you to know that I'm okay. Nothing about who I am has changed," you beg him to listen.

"YIN, what happened?" he asks slowly.

"Maybe we were wrong about vampires. They're not monsters. We only thought that because that's what our parents taught us. We don’t know them."

"You were turned, weren't you? I don’t believe you," he voices his fear.

Instead of telling him, you show him. You open your mouth and slide your fangs down. As soon as he sees this, his whole demeanor changes. Gone is the playful adventurous guy you knew only to be replaced with the hard and scary version he only presents in front of vampires.

"Get out," he says with a stone-cold look.

"Peter, it's still me. I'm still your best friend. I haven't changed. I'm not dangerous; I never was," you beg.

“You don’t understand vampires like I do,” Peter says calmly. “They’re vile, evil creatures. If uncontained they spread like a disease.”

“You do know I’m standing right here, right?”

Peter looks at you with an expression almost unrecognizable. This isn’t your best friend, and you’re not so sure you’ll ever get him back.

“Are you?”

”I’m still me! I haven’t hurt anyone. I’m volunteering at the hospital. My blood heals people, Peter. Does that sound like a monster to you?”

“If not now, you will hurt. Vampires are natural predators. It’s in your nature to hunt and kill. Now, you’re lucky I haven’t put a stake into your heart and I will if you don’t leave within the next five seconds. One...”

You don't give him another second before you're speeding out of there. You only went to him because you thought he would be understanding. You two have been together since you were in diapers. How can he not see that the person you are now is the person you once were? You guess whatever his parents taught him is stuck deep within himself.

Whatever the case may be, you lost your best friend.

You got new ones, but they'll never be him. If he can't accept you for who you are, then you guess you didn't know him at all.

If you want to be tagged, add yourself to this document! If your tag doesn’t work, find out why!

@awkwardfangirl2014 @kendall-michele @gh0stgurl @miraclesoflove @sammypotato67 @justalonely-nerd

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onepickyreader · 4 years

Photo

19 Days, why am I even writing a review, you've all seen my extensive 19 days spamming on here. This doesn't feel like a manhua I am going to forget in about five years, and stumble over the internet to double check if I liked it.

This feels already like a permanent fandom, and I’ve wrote already a couple of short fics about it. Now, you must know, I haven’t written fanfics in about 10 years.

Now, I am no artist, I understand nothing of art, art is usually not the super priority when I choose to read a manga or a comic, but I am absolutely enamored with 19 days' art, so much that as soon as I can I will probably buy the artbook and the first volume. It has a such a raw gritty feeling and somehow works for both the comedic moments and the angst/drama moments. Not to mentions that everything looks SO DYNAMIC.

This started pretty slow for me, the art was the only thing that got me interested, and if I have to be honest I wouldn't have thought that I could be so invested in a comic without a linear storytelling, or an overall arching plot, as 19 days is more like a bunch of photographs, all part of a longer timeline.

The story shows snippets of days (usually one snipped = one comic, but more and more frequently an episodic event takes a couple of comics or more) and revolves around middle schoolers Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi, their friendship and the slow realization that they both feel something more. While Zhan Zheng Xi has a pretty normal and adorable family, Jian Yi seems to come from some turbulent roots, with his father and family probably involved in criminal activities. The story jumps around, between present and future, showing how Jian Yi disappeared the second day of high school, to be reappear at Zhan Zheng Xi's doorsteps years later.

While the tone of the comic is mostly comedic and humorous, the author also throws in some bittersweet nostalgia, angst and the general heartbreaking feeling of falling in love. Soon enough, two other characters have also been added to the mix, one is He Tian, Jian Yi's friend, and also coming from a criminal family, and the other is Mo Guan Shan, a bully who is slowly sucked in the group, at first quite forcefully, until he seems to actually become friends with the others.

I just. Mo Guan Shan? I AM SOLD. He became my favorite in two panels, the absolute contrast between his look and appearance, and his softness.

I have some minor problems with this manhua, but nothing that was really detrimental to my enjoyment: first of all I am not a fan of stories about mobs and criminals, and the idea that one of these kids might grow up to become one... makes me highly uncomfortable (I always need the cops to catch the mafia guy, in my stories). I can easily ignore this, as we don't know what these guys will be when adults (but I am afraid for He Tian!).

My second complain is that I was not able to tell apart the different timelines, but this has probably more to do with me rushing through 19 days tO SEE MO AND HE TIAN HUG. So I should have been more careful.

My third main problem is that... for the majorty of the story, these are supposed to be around 15 years old? Middle schoolers?

I think I've read that China has middle school between 12 and 15, and then high school, so I suppose the kids are all around 15. And yet, they seem so much more like adults? No the way they joke around (which is often very childish), but the way they are drawn and the way they are involved in criminal activities. It just feels strange, to me, and I had to pretend they were all around 18, or something similar.

Said this, these are minor complains, because I am here for the long run, I am completely sold. I enjoy both the longer plot, and the slow way the mob/criminal elements were worked in the every day life of these guys, managed to trick me into getting invested in all their families, and finding out MORE about all and each of the secondary characters.

#19 days #bl review #manhua #review #long review #yaoi

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bngtanah · 4 years

Text

The Difference Between Boys & Girls | o6 (m)

summary: Sam & Erin are university students who share a cheap one bedroom apartment above a shitty takeaway restaurant. Due to the limited space, they’ve grown accustomed to sharing just about everything, including the occasional kiss.

pairing: Jung Hoseok (Samuel Park) feat. Park Jimin (Brian Yi) x Named OC characters: meet the cast.

genre: angst, smut, fluff word count: 6.5k+ chapters: o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11| 12| 13| 14 warning: smut, cunnilingus, fingering, boyfriend!hoseok, jealous!hoseok, painter!jimin, friends to lovers trope, college au, angst, sexual themes, slow burn

a/n: still a fool. still reuploading.

Erin's fingertips moved furiously over the keyboard of her laptop and her head bopped along in time to the loud music playing in her earphones. She had less than a week to prepare for her final two exams of the year and to say that she had been procrastinating doing so was a gross understatement. Between Brian and well.... really Brian was the only thing truly distracting her from completely focusing on her schoolwork. She was used to Sammy's intrusions and often studied around his periodic outbursts but Erin hadn't quite figured out how to balance out studying and showing her boyfriend his due attention.

Boyfriend.

The term still seemed weird to her, and it had only been one day since Brian acquired it. Erin assumed that was natural since they were still in the early stages of getting to know one another. His asking her to be his girlfriend was just a formal agreement that she wouldn't attempt to get to know someone else at the same time. At least that's how Erin looked at it, then again her views of dating were always a little strange compared to others.

"Noona!"

Erin heard her name being summoned for the fifth time that night, this time the '-ah' was drawn out so long Erin thought he might run out of breath and pass out. He didn't, of course, but the yelling and general noise making didn't stop when Erin ignored her roommate and continue with her work. Erin didn't know what he was calling her for but she was fairly certain that there was no way it was more important that what she was doing, he would tire himself out eventually and then Erin could look forward to a peaceful night of reading and essay writing. At least so she thought.

"I know, you're my saviour" Erin heard the words of the song she was playing echoed in her left ear and the heat of Samuel's body pressed against her side momentarily before he disappeared behind her.

"I know some pleasure" The next verse was repeated in Erin's right ear and again she ignored him, her eyes remaining glued to the screen.

It wasn't until she felt a pair of strong arms wrap tightly around her shoulders and Sam's chin rest on her shoulder that Erin finally stopped typing and groan loudly in frustration.

"Park Sang-Min! I swear to god I will punch you in the throat, what the hell do you want?" Erin asked in an exasperated tone as she spun around to glare at the face of a child who had just been scolded.

"Come out with me."

"Are you kidding me? I don't have time to joke around with you right now, Sammy."

"I am completely serious. You've been tearing over these books and printouts the whole day, you need a break." Samuel said softly and released Erin from his hold.

"I can't do that, if I don't pass both of these exams then I won't graduate and I am not going through another year of this."

"You know these textbooks better than the back of your hand and you're just going to burn yourself out if you don't take a little break sometime."

Erin exhaled harshly and pressed a hand against her forehead, she was feeling a little drained and the words she was reading were beginning to blur together indecipherably.

Maybe Sammy was right.

"Just a tiny little break okay?" Erin clarified, making it apparent that she had no intentions of leaving their apartment.

"A small, minuscule break." Her roommate reassured.

This definitely was not a small, little break.

Erin wasn't even sure how it happened, one second she was fighting Sam on taking a few shots in their kitchen and the next thing she knew they were both three shots of tequila deep and on their way out the door in search of a place to dance and hopefully drink more.

And drink they did, Erin more so than Samuel which was the usual. Apparently she needed to blow off more steam than she originally thought.

As the night wore on Samuel began feeling less and less intoxicated, and one guy had the misfortune of getting too hands-y with his roommate, which made the amused smirk he was wearing while watching Erin float around the dance floor fall into an angry glare.

Erin was clearly drunk and the sleazy vultures in the bar picked up on it, targeted her, and moved in to pick her apart, entice her to the nearest exit with the promise of a good time. Samuel figured they had already had their fun for the night and it was time to go.

He gripped Erin's arm to make her look at him. "Let's go home."

The drunk man she was subtly trying to avoid dancing with didn't seem too happy about the interruption. He opened his mouth to complain, but Samuel cut him off.

"Fuck off."

"Who the fuck you think you're talking to?"

"No one," Sam dismissed him and tugged Erin upwards.

"Yah," The stranger exclaimed and reached for Erin's other arm.

Sam moved to step in between them, his jaw square. "Let. Her. Go." Sam wasn't exactly a threatening figure, but he knew he could handle himself in a fight if it came to that.

Luckily the guy had the foresight to see that this confrontation was not worth the possibility of him getting hurt. "Whatever," he huffed and smartly walked away.

Erin and Samuel shuffled to another part of the bar.

She was piss drunk and yet her watery, red streaked eyes still sparkled when Samuel looked at her. "You were going to fight that guy?"

"Maybe," Sam shrugged and silently checked their surroundings, making sure that the douchebag didn't round up any of his friends to attempt to jump them later.

"Aigoo, Sammy you love me," Erin slurred.

"More than you know," Sam grinned.

"Can we dance to one more song?"

"No."

"Please, Sammy. It was your idea to come out anyway."

Erin pouted but Samuel managed to fortify himself against her full bottom lip, refusing to crack.

"It's late and both of us have to work in the morning."

Erin was full on scowling at this point but didn't fight as Sam led her to the entrance and then both of them were outside, taking in the chilly air.

"You weren't having any fun?" she hiccuped.

"I stopped having fun about two shots ago. But hey, you were drinking enough for the both of us."

Erin giggled again and leaned her head fully against Samuel's side.

Three hard drinks were her limit and Erin knew that. Tonight she was definitely testing her liver and kidneys' ability to break down the components of tequila, rum, and god knows what else.

"My feet hurt," she whined.

Sam stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and leaned down "Get on."

It took three tries before Erin could climb on his back. She snickered uncontrollably the entire time.

"My ass is showing. I can feel it," Erin laughed.

Sam joined in too. He always found her adorable when she was sober, but drunk Erin was ten times worse.

"I need you to promise me we'll always be this close, Sammy."

"Of course we will."

"Even after I tell you that Brian asked me to be his girlfriend?"

Samuel paused for half a second but kept moving forward, pretending that her revelation hadn't bothered him at all. "Why would that make us not close?"

"I know you don't like him."

Samuel chuckled silently, and without humour, nothing got past his best friend.

"That's not true, I just didn't want you to get hurt. If you like him and he treats you well, then that's good enough for me." He lied.

"I think I really do like him" Erin mused and pressed her cheek against Samuel's.

"Great."

After hitching her higher along his back several times because she kept slipping, Sam and Erin finally made it back to their apartment. Erin was singing about riding a surfboard and drinking watermelon and Samuel had no clue what she was talking about.

He dumped her momentarily on the couch and headed to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. Her cell phone was buzzing since she had forgotten it on the kitchen counter. Samuel looked at the name on the screen, looked at Erin, then back at the screen, and hit the ignore button. She was in no condition to talk to anyone at the moment.

Brian could leave her a message as far as Sammy was concerned. It wasn't too late, but late enough to be considered booty call hours by his standards.

With the glass of water in his hands Sam strolled back to the living room only for Erin's phone to start ringing once again.

"Is my phone ringing?"

"Ignore it."

"It could be important."

"It's not," Sam handed her the glass which she accepted but only drank a tiny sip. "Finish it."

Erin's brown eyes darkened, and she glared up at him, but chugged the water anyway and thrust the empty glass back against Sam's chest.

"Why aren't you drunk?" Erin curled up on the couch.

"I know my limits." he laughed "Why were you determined to get wasted?"

"I thought that's what we went out to do. Don't question me right now, my head hurts."

"Come on," Sam pulled her up. "You need to get to bed."

Erin stumbled into her room, mumbling incoherently, and tossed herself on the mattress then began fumbling around with hem of her top. She was having trouble realizing that it needed to be unbuttoned and not pulled over her head.

Without any more questions, Sam squatted downward and helped Erin unbutton her blouse, pushed the fabric off her shoulders, and dropped it on the floor. His eyes moved over her lacy camisole long enough to realize that she wasn't wearing a bra and his cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink when he felt the need to kiss her flare up within him once again.

Instinctively his tongue peeked out to moisten his bottom lip and when his gaze finally fell back on Erin's face, he saw a distinctive look in her eyes.

It was the same look she had given him all those years ago on his graduation night. The kind of look that led to clothes coming off and body parts being caressed and fondled. That look.

Immediately Sam clamored to his feet and put a space between them. "You should get some rest, noona. I'll see you in the morning."

Sam was out the door and on the couch before Erin could say anything, even just suggesting that he sleep with her that night like they had many times before. If she had, Sam wasn't sure if he'd been able to turn her down, say no. It was different when she was relatively single and he had the option of stealing her attention away from a guy she'd been out with just a few times, but there were labels involved now and Samuel finally caught on to just how stupid he was for waiting so long to say anything.

Erin felt like crap. The second she woke up she was overcome with the feeling of monkeys playing bongos on her temples and every bone in her body that could ache did. A long drawn-out groan left her lips as she tried and failed to get out of bed, the sun was already high in the sky and she was positive that this was the latest she’d ever woken up since her first year of university. The palm of her hand rested as gently as it could on the side of her temple as she did her best to push herself upward and out of her sheets.

The worst part of this was that she couldn’t even remember why she was in so much pain. Erin was positive that she spent the night in her apartment so what could have gotten her so unbelievably wasted? The last thing she remembered was sitting in the living room begging Sammy to leave her alone and let her study.

Ah, Sammy.

If anyone would know why her head was currently doing gymnastics, he would.

"Sammy," Erin said hoarsely as she shuffled out into the living room, but she was met with a silence which was unusual because Samuel was never silent.

"Sam!" She called again but once she got to the couch, she realized that he wasn't answering her because he wasn't home. There were only two places he could be so early in the day and Erin knew he didn't have any classes that day, so he must have been at work. A few seconds after the word 'work' popped into her head Erin's eyes bulged open and she sprinted back towards her room to grab her cell phone.

How could she have forgotten that she was covering for someone today?

Erin scolded to herself as she tore around the room looking for her cell. Once it was in hand, she wasted no time in checking her voice mails, three were from her supervisor and none of them were pleasant. One was from Brian but she didn't have time to check that or the messages he'd sent her, her only priority for now was getting ready for work as quickly as possible while she still had a job.

Erin was showered and dressed in a flash, her hair slapped up into a messy bun and just a dab of BB cream slathered over her face before she dashed towards the door. As her hand grabbed the knob to twist it open something taped to the peephole caught her attention and made her stop for just a moment.

Erin-Ah ^-^~ You're going to be late today, I should have woken you up before I left but you looked so peaceful drooling into your pillow. I know you won't read your phone this morning so I'm leaving you this note. Try not to stress out too much I know how you think but you know they won't fire you over this, you've never been late before. Have a good day!!! Work hard!!!! I'm rooting for you!!

Love, Sammy. P.S. When you get home there's something I really need to talk to you about.

Erin smiled and folded the note up to place in her jacket pocket, she always loved receiving these hand-written notes from her roommate whenever they missed each other in the morning time. Her mind traveled as she made her was out of her building onto the sidewalk, wondering what he could need to talk about that couldn't be mentioned in the letter but Erin came up blank. Unless something happened last night that she didn't remember, maybe she did something embarrassing when they went out. Or something embarrassing when they got home? She didn't puke on him did she? And even if she had would that warrant a discussion?

Erin settled somewhat once she finally got into a cab and started on her way further into the city. She was about ten minutes away from her job when a muddled memory buzzed her conscious; she remembered being on her bed with Sammy kneeling in front of her unbuttoning her top and tossing it aside. She remembered wanting to feel his lips against hers among other things and then...

Nothing.

Erin tapped her hand against her head in an attempt to jog her memory but that proved to be an idiotic idea since it made her headache even worse. That couldn't have been the last thing she remembered if it was then all signs were pointing to the fact that she may have made a very stupid decision last night and she couldn't even remember it.

She wanted to call Sammy and put her mind at ease before she got to work but before she could unlock her phone, she was in the front of her office building and preparing to shuffle her way inside. Her supervisor seemed to be waiting for her once she reached her floor and it took nearly half an hour to explain why she was late and get her supervisor to leave her alone before she could start working. Every step sent shock waves of pain throughout Erin's body and it didn't help that everyone needed her to do some mindless task for them that day. The menial things took so much energy out of her that she actually had to stop and take a breather while she was making copies.

This was definitely going to be a rough day.

Erin had managed to make it all the way to her lunch break without barfing or cursing someone out for standing too close to her and she was rewarding herself by taking a breather on the rooftop garden her boss maintained. It was freezing outside but the cold and coffee she sipped were keeping her awake.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and the corner of Erin's lips turned up into a smirk. She knew exactly who it was before she checked. She had managed to send Brian a quick text apologizing for ignoring his messages from last night and this morning. Erin choked on the small sip of coffee when she opened the message and rested the cup on the ground next to her.

Brian had sent her a selfie, a shirtless one. At 12:30 in the afternoon. Erin returned the favor by sending him a selfie of with her jaw dropped open. It only took a few seconds for him to call her back.

"I want to hear the noise you made."

Erin laughed, honestly happy to hear his voice even if he was being indecent in the middle of the day.

"Who said I made a noise? Maybe that was me being disgusted."

"Don't lie to me, Erin."

She chuckled softly and threw her head back, a bad idea since she immediately began wincing.

"You left me speechless, Brian." Erin groaned and rubbed her temples

"Your face does that to me every time I see it."

Erin groaned louder smiled even wider, if that was possible, and pressed her hands against her cheeks to cool down the heat that was caused by Brian's words.

"Brian I am at work," Erin said in a warning tone even though she was beyond amused.

"I know, I know," He laughed "I just missed talking to you...Hey, are you busy tonight?"

"I shouldn't be,"

"Good, because I'm making you dinner."

"Aw, Bria-" Erin's words were cut off by the beeping of her phone to signify that her lunch break was over and she had to get back to work.

"Sorry I have to go, I'll see you tonight?"

"Ah, I won't keep you, work hard. See you tonight."

It only took a few minutes for Erin to get ready and leave her empty apartment, she didn't know where Sammy was but there was no time to figure it out.

Judging by the address he sent her Brian lived about half an hour away from Erin's apartment and she fretted the entire taxi ride there. She was feeling miles better than she did this morning but it was also the first time Brian had ever invited her to his place and Erin had so many questions.

When the cab rolled to a stop in front of a slightly run down building Erin almost didn't get out of the car. The neighborhood didn't look unsafe, but it definitely didn't seem like a place Erin wanted to wander around alone. It wasn't until she saw Brian standing outside waiting for her, looking cold but still so attractive with the long sleeves of his shirt pulled over his hands, that Erin released the breath she was holding in.

Erin tossed her fare in the driver's direction and quickly exited out onto the sidewalk.

"Sorry I’m late!" She said once she was close enough and Brian turned to look at her like she had just descended from heaven.

"Don't worry about it, you look beautiful."

His arms were around her waist, pulling Erin's body close to his own and lips pressed against Erin's in no time. She felt her frigid body melt against his despite the cold and Erin returned his kiss with vigor, her arms encircling his neck and fingertips playfully threading through his hair. One would think they hadn't seen each other in weeks, not two days.

"I hope you're hungry" Brian murmured against Erin's lips once he'd finally stopped ravishing her mouth.

"I hope you can cook."

Her reply garnered a sincere laugh from Brian as he led her inside his apartment.

As it turned out he actually owned the entire building and left the outside as is because he enjoyed the worn look of it. The majority of the space was occupied by a makeshift studio where Erin presumed that he spent most of his time painting, there was a small corner where a kitchen had been built and another where a loft bedroom was built with an office underneath it.

Tonight there was a single table set up in the middle of the floor with two place settings and a candle between them.

Erin gasped softly when she walked inside and sight came into full view, complete with fairy lights to gently illuminate them as they sat.

"Brian this is beautiful," She stated softly as he took her coat from her.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it,"

"I'm so relieved, I was worried you would think it's cheesy," He said shyly before motioning for her to take a seat.

Erin giggled "It is a little cheesy, but in a nice way."

Brian ignored her teasing and pressed his lips to her temple before moving to the kitchen to grab dinner.

"Can I ask what you made tonight?"

"You could, but I might not tell you."

"Okay~ I just hope it's edible."

Brian guffawed.

"Why do you think I can't cook?" he asked as he walked back towards Erin with two plates of pasta in his hands.

"I don't know that many men that can really cook. I mean Sammy can make ramyun but that doesn't require much skill, I asked him to make me kimchi fried rice once, and we almost had to call the fire department."

Brian smiled, but mentally began his tally on how many times Erin was going to mention her roommate's name that night. It was a game he began torturing himself with on their first date and he was always the loser.

"Well, it's not ramyun but I hope you like fettuccine," he said with a playful wink as he set down a plate in front her Erin before taking a seat on the other side of the table.

Erin grinned and took a quick bite of the dish then looked at Brian in disbelief "This is really good," she said as if she didn't believe her own words.

Brian responded with a prideful smile and a slight bow of his head.

"So, how was your day?" Erin asked while twirling more pasta on her fork.

"Nerve wrecking."

"Why?"

"I had four meetings lined up with potential buyers and every time I tried to explain the inspiration behind one of my pieces, it was like I forgot how to talk," he laughed. "My mind was too preoccupied on getting everything perfect for tonight."

Erin blushed, offering her boyfriend a shy smile "I hope I didn't cost you a sale."

"No, I managed to make up something eventually three of the buyers are coming to pick up paintings tomorrow."

"Good, because I had no intentions of paying you back."

They shared a good-natured laugh and returned to eating, a pleasant conversation soon flowing between them. Erin told Brian about her difficult day at work and the night out she'd shared with Sammy which caused her difficult day at work. She conveniently forgot to mention the possible ending of their night out, not because she wasn't riddled with guilt over the possibility that she may have cheated on Brian so soon into their relationship. But because she didn't know for a fact that she had cheated on him, she could still only remember bits and pieces from the night before and there was no definitive proof that anything happened between them other than Erin's overactive imagination and hopeful wish fulfillment. Sammy had helped her get dressed and undressed when she wasn't able to do it herself multiple times before, that memory of him removing her shirt could have been totally platonic.

"Well, Erin?"

Brian's voice made Erin stop day dreaming Sammy and focus her gaze on him, he must have asked her a question but Erin obviously wasn't paying attention.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"Do you want dessert? I bought a cake but I wasn't sure if you'd still be hungry,"

"Oh, yes I would love dessert! Let me help you with the dishes,"

Erin quickly stood up and began stacking their plates together even though Brian protested, she ignored him and followed as he moved to the kitchen to grab the cake out of the refrigerator. Erin dumped the dishes in the sink and glanced over at Brian as he started unboxing his store bought cake, brown eyes roamed over the profile of his face and down to the subtle veins that exposed themselves in his neck when one of the tags holding the box gave him some trouble. She smirked gently when he finally did get it open and his biceps flexed underneath his tight white shirt, had his shirt always been that tight? Before she stopped herself Erin's eyes were moving downward and shamelessly she ogled his tight ass when he turned to grab a knife and fork from a nearby drawer.

She got caught staring when Brian looked back at her over his shoulder and when their eyes met he raised a brow and shot Erin a seductive smirk.

"Pervert," he said playfully and pulled Erin near to him by a hook on her jeans.

"You're an artist, you should be able to understand wanting to appreciate a masterpiece," She replied with a chuckle and leaned back against the counter.

Brian grinned and shook his head, moving to stand in front of her and placed both of his hands on either side of her body.

"Nice save, but you're still a pervert- open,"

"I can live with that" Erin answered as she held her mouth ajar and Brian fed her a small piece of cake before taking a bite himself. "Are you going to feed me the whole cake? Because I don't think I have the self-control to stop you" Erin joked as she prepared for another forkful.

“I could do that" Brian answered and pulled the prongs of the fork from between Erin's parted lips. “But I’d prefer to do this," His strong arm slipped around her waist and hugged her tightly to his chest, leaning in to softly press his lips against her throat.

Erin giggled softly as Brian hugged her tightly in his arms and nibbled on the skin of her neck. They hadn't been dating for an exceptionally long time but it seemed like Brian knew just how to touch Erin to make her senses go haywire. Though it didn't really take much. A soft kiss to her neck, a firm grip on her thigh, even his chest pushing against hers got her aroused. She grasped his side, tugging gently on his shirt, pulling him closer against her.

“You sure you want to do that?” Erin teased, running her hand under his shirt and grazing her fingertips over his hard abs making Brian's lips curl up in a warm smile against her throat.

He answered her taunt by abandoning her neck and moving his head upward to capture her lips in a heated kiss. Without much effort, Brian lifted his girlfriend into his arms while he palmed her ass with one hand and the other gripped her waist and rested her against the surface of the counter. Erin yelped softly when he hoisted her up as if she weighed nothing and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist once she was sitting on the counter and Brian was standing between her legs.

Erin was careful to be conscience of her movements, restraining the urge to roll her hips forward. She had a decent amount of self control but honestly it was tapering off by the second. Every time his tongue stroked against her own and she felt the silent vibrations of a groan hum beneath his chest Erin felt her desire for him grow more urgent.

"It's getting late..." Erin said as she leaned back, her hands clutched tighter to the back of his neck as their lips separated and she took a much needed huff of air while Brian began moving his lips against her neck again and cutting off the moan that wanted for escape from her throat. "I should get going."

Brian smirked and tilted his head upward upward to look Erin in the eyes, the look on his face conveying just how much he didn't want her to leave yet.

"Do you really want to go?"

He accompanied his question with a tender peck to Erin's lips, his hands pushing up the hem of her skirt and massaging the skin on her thighs. Erin shivered and bit down on her bottom lip, every inch her body was begging her to stay and continue their moment but as per her usual Erin was over thinking the outcome of this situation. Were they moving too fast? Or too slow? They had been seeing each other for just over a month so maybe this was long overdue. All these thoughts were buzzing through her mind but then Brian's lips were slowly trailing against her skin again, leaving wet open kisses wherever he could find a section of exposed skin. His hands were gripping her waist and roaming, moving up Erin’s torso to squeeze her breasts gently through her shirt. When that happened, Erin lost what little restraint she’d previously had and moaned heavily against his ear, her head leaned forward and her teeth tugged on his earlobe gently.

"I'll take that as a no" He laughed gently, not doing anything to hide the grin on his face, he was glad to hear that she wanted him just like how he wanted her. Brian gathered Erin in his arms and lifted her off the counter gently her legs still wrapped tightly around his waist. She didn't feel the need to ask where he was taking her, the look in his eyes gave her all the answers she needed. In no time, they were up the stairs that led to his loft and Brian was placing Erin gently on the surface of his bed while he leaned down and attempted to kiss her again.

She ran her thumb over his soft bottom lip, then did the same thing with his top lip. Brian kept his eyes on her but didn't move other than putting his hands on her hips. She leaned forward until they were only a hair apart and looked into his deep brown eyes. He smiled, and she smiled back, and they continued to look at each other until she finally kissed him softly. Their eyes stayed connected as she kissed him over and over and alternated between sucking his bottom and top lip.

It was as if a light switch had been flipped because both their bodies came alive instantly. Brian whipped his t-shirt off and was on her in an instant. She sank her hands into his hair and met his tongue, stroke for stroke. Erin switched their positions so that he was beneath her and leaned her head to the side to get the maximum amount of pleasure from his mouth, her hips took on a life of their own as she ground against him, up and down and side to side. They moaned together, and Erin hadn't realized how much she wanted him until right then. She also hadn't realized that his hands were in the exact same position, holding her hips in a vice grip. She assumed that he was letting her control the ride and determine how far they did or didn't go. And that made her melt inside.

She pulled her lips away from his and slid down so that her mouth was on his neck. She switched between kissing and sucking his smooth pale skin and every time he tensed underneath her, Erin knew that he was fighting not to flip her over and ravage her right there. She kissed down his bare chest and teased his nipples with the tip of her tongue.

"Shit, Erin," he groaned.

A jolt of arousal shot straight down her legs at the way he said her name and she pushed herself down on him harder than before, forcing his erection right where she wanted it. She moaned and bit down on his lip, which he seemed to enjoy more than she thought he would. Erin pulled him up, so that she was straddling him, and watched his hooded eyes as she slowly pulled her shirt off. She felt a seconds worth of uncertainty but that vanished with the way Brian stared at her breasts like they were the best things he'd ever seen. He licked his lips but still didn't move his hands.

"Touch me," she whispered hotly.

Apparently that was the only nudge he needed. Brian secured her position in his lap with one arm around her waist while the other wrapped around her back. His mouth immediately took possession of her right breast and he devoured it like he was starving. Erin's head fell back and she whispered to him how amazing his mouth felt on her. He licked, sucked and bit her sensitive flesh with just the right amount of pressure, over and over until Erin was sure that might come just from this action alone. He stopped and switched to the other one, working her up more and more with each caress of his tongue.

Brian finally relented and dipped his head down as low as it would go to kiss all over her stomach. He switched their positions and laid her down on his comforter, continuing his quest down her body. She shivered with want and met eyes with him as he slowly pulled her skirt and panties down and revealed her nude form to him. He grunted in amazement and grabbed his constrained erection pressing against his bottoms. He used his free hand to spread Erin's legs and when it looked like he was going to bend down and go to work on her, she grabbed him by the shoulders and shook her head.

"Next time," she said, her voice raspy with lust. "I want you right now."

He made quick work of removing his jeans and boxers and she pulled him on top of her. Their mouths met in a messy, desperate kiss and she whimpered when he rubbed his tip against her warm center.

"You're so wet," he groaned.

"And it's all for you," she whispered, which only made him groan again, that coupled with the feeling her hand gently moving up and down his hard length.

“W-wait,” he murmured, sitting up and reaching for his bedside table, not wanting to leave her body. Brian just barely reached the familiar feeling of a foil wrapper and caught it between his fingers, quickly tearing the package open and using the latex to cover himself. He pulled her back to him, settling between her legs and kept his eyes on her face as he guided himself inside her and paused once she gasped and he felt her flinch beneath him. He brushed back the spirals of curls from clouding her face, wanting to make sure she was comfortable. “You alright, jagi?” he asked, his eyes searching for any sort of discomfort.

Erin nodded quickly and blushed at her reaction "It's just been a while, but I'm fine" she replied with a soft chuckle "But hey..that's the first time you've called me that."

"Called you what?"

"Jagi, I like it"

Brian grinned and rested his forehead against Erin's shoulder, his hips swiveled slightly against Erin's even though he was truly trying not to move for Erin's sake. He didn't want to hurt her but there was only so much he could do to remain still while she was wrapped so tightly around him.

"Are you ready for me, jagiya?" Brian whispered against her ear and pressed his pillow soft lips to the skin beneath her earlobe.

Erin nodded and slowly he pulled back until the head of his member was lined up with her entrance, reaching between them to tease her with strokes up and down her slit. Then he finally slid his entire length into her, stopping only when he reached the hilt. Erin's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she groaned so loudly that she was sure his neighbors could hear her. He began to move, slowly, pushing in and out of her at very slow pace, feeling every inch of her, and letting her do the same.

"Oh god...Brian" Erin managed to gasp as her hips moved in time with his, his name tumbling from her lips again and again as he picked up the pace so that he was now pounding into her. The sounds of his breathing and grunts, mixed with Erin's soft moans and whimpers and the sound of skin on skin was a symphony that filled Brian's studio space.

“Baby… fuck,” lifting his head back up, Brian gazed down at her and took in her expressions of pleasure with pride before dipping down and capturing her lips in a sloppy, passionate kiss. A thin layer of sheer sweat formed over their bodies, and his grip on her waist tightened. With every moan and word to slip past her plump lips, Brian felt his length twitch deep within her. It took everything in him to hold out until she had reached her own climax.

Bringing one of her legs up over his shoulder, Brian looked down to where their bodies met and groaned at the sight. Her soaking heat taking him in with every stroke, her essence covering his length while he plowed into her at an increased speed. Holding her leg up just a little bit higher, he could feel himself hitting her hilt while her core quivered around him. Chest heaving and sweat dripping down his body, his hair becoming damp, Brian felt his undoing approaching him.

Reaching down between them, he placed a slick thumb on her swollen clit and began rubbing furiously. “Come on, baby. You gonna come?” Grunting and matching with his thrusts, he was determined to get her finish before he did— and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. Erin felt her clit throb intensely and her walls twitch around his member. She couldn’t hold back the sharp, loud moans that left her mouth. Erin released a sensuous moan into the air and she felt her entire body coil then suddenly stiffen as her orgasm rocked through her hot core. As soon as Erin hit her climax, Brian allowed himself to be overcome with pleasure. He gripped onto her skin tightly, sloppily and mercilessly pounding into her before he released himself and his face buried in her neck as he let out a string of profanities. He slowly lowered his entire weight on top of her, his head resting snugly against her breasts.

The room was silent except for the sounds of their heavy pants and stray whimpers. Brian slowly removed himself from her body and Erin worked up the strength to turn and look at him. Their eyes met and he smiled. Which made Erin smile and a flicker of warmth flare up within her. Lazily, she reached over to cradle his face as Brian pulled her into his arms and threaded his fingertips through her curly nest of hair.

Erin wanted to say something while she laid there with his rapid heartbeat returning to normal against her eardrum, but everything that came to mind just made it sound like she was complimenting a male escort. When she tilted her head upwards and Brian leaned down to kiss her again gently again Erin realized that maybe for once she really didn't need to say anything.

#btsnoonanet #btsguild #bangtanarmynet #houseofddaeng #bts #bts fic #bts scenarios #j hope fanfic #hobi x oc #jimin x reader #bngtanah #dbbg

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h3trappedcollection · 4 years

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Author Interview Part III

Let us welcome @stebeee for another round of Author Interview with the talented Trapped fic writers! 🎉🎉

Story written for the Collection:

I like the way you look at me

Interview:

How did you come into the Trapped fandom?

Hahaha I was watching Right or Wrong and happened to tell my best friend about it and I didn’t know that she was following the series? And she explained the whole concept to me and was like “DID YOU KNOW THERE’S AN UPCOMING ONE IT LOOKS LIKE A COP X GANGSTER ONE” or something like that, and “FOLLOW THIS ACCOUNT THAT’S DOING UDPATES ON IT” (@florbexter it turned out to be) and yeah the moment the 6 minute trailer was out in like Feb? Mar? I was hooked. Then I did my very first translating thingy on Tumblr with the Trapped character profiles and never looked back XD

Who’s your favourite character?

Hmm that’s a tough one but it’s gotta be Shao Fei for sure? I mean Tang Yi comes really close but gosh I love everything about him — how dumb he is, FiFi, his jawline, the way he huffs and puffs when he gets angry and annoyed, the way he rolls his eyes, the way he dozes off while shopping with Hong Ye, the way he’s so competent at work even if he’s the one creating the most trouble. I LOVE EVERYTHING.

What’s your favourite trope?

Hmm definitely enemies-to-lovers + bed sharing! And any sort of hurt/comfort OOOOH angst with a happy ending? Not really unrequited love?! Erm FOUND FAMILY?!

What do you like about writing for Trapped?

I think it’s definitely that I can imagine the characters better? It’s my first real fandom ever! My favourite one too, and it’s honestly the first show I’ve watched literally from start to end including all the interviews, variety shows, BTS, and then actually seeing the boys in real life — I think writing all the summaries every week helped too, because it’s frickin hard for me to write them in character I think? Even now I wonder if I’m doing it right, but I’ve definitely got a better grasp on the characters in Trapped than anywhere else so it makes writing flow a little smoother. Besides, so many characters with so much potential, like Dao Yi, Hong Ye and ah, my fave two boys Jin Tang and Andy.

Care to elaborate on your writing process?

Okay so far… definitely I come up with prompts first? I’ve got a list of… ooh 16 prompts in my list right now, and then I try to go through them when I feel like it? I have to say that a lovely anon I call headcanon anon has been integral in kickstarting my fic writing because I think the very first fic I published last Sept/Oct was a prompt from them!! I digress, but in any case, yeah there’s no… exact process really? But definitely need to have prompts. And then I pray that I'm struck with some burst of motivation to finish writing a one shot in a day.

Your favourite Trapped fic by another author?

Ooooh there are plenty, I made a list of Trapped fic recs a while back with my faves on it.

What do you want to write but never had the nerve to?

AND AN ACTUAL MULTI-CHAPTERED FIC AMEN.

If you want, please share a snippet of your current Trapped WIPs.

Okay so there are like so many open items on the list but here's a few!

The ‘5 times TY wants to say I love you but didn’t and 1 time he finally does’ inspired from headcanon anon’s ask

And... and and... an AU where we get babysitter SF for single dad TY's ridiculous twins

And this sort of dumb idea for an AU where SF is a Taekwondo instructor and TY happens to have some new brothers who keeps losing at fights and so he hires SF to come whip the new recruits into shape and they fall in love

A sequel to just waiting, waiting (on you) where Shao Fei takes care of his friends, just as they took care of him and haha a sneak peek (or the summary):

Shao Fei isn’t used to having so many people to take care of, but he tries his best. That’s what Tang Yi would want, he tells himself.

As a bullet flies over, striking the table he’s hiding behind, Shao Fei wonders if it’s too late to change his mind.

“Who did you offend this time?!” he yells over the noise.

Hong Ye, who was just minutes ago trying on her fifth wedding dress and is now crouched behind a pillar with Dao Yi covering her with his body, scowls at him.

“Why do you always assume that it’s my fault?!”

Or, Shao Fei finds ways to solve the problems of his new family, one at a time.

#h3trappedcollection #history 3: trapped #history 3: 圈套 #author interview

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legendrarry · 3 years

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It's CC again! Now that you have read the novel, where you surprised by something, be it pacing, story's structure, characters, etc., or not at all, you expected everything between the adaptations you had already seen and the fandom? Do you think you would have liked the novel if it had been your first entry in the story?

Hello again CC!!

Ahhh this is a good question! I do have different thoughts regarding CQL and MDZS even tho I enjoyed both/all of the versions I read/saw.

Since it's only in the live action and the novel where the storyline shifts a bit, I'm just going to answer what I found different in both of them. They did follow the main storyline for most of the part, so I wasn’t really surprised by the novel while reading. But there are somethings that I think the novel did better than the live action while CQL also had it's speciality.

First thing that comes to mind while thinking of the novel, is how the live action deprived us from all the glorious Drunk Wangji and Wen Ning interactions...😭😭 aghhh What I'd give to see the visuals of a drunk Lan Zhan turning into jealous husband™️ around our baby Ning!! It would've been amazing! I also liked JGY better in the novel than the drama, if that makes sense. Same goes for the Yi City storyline. Let's also not forget about the WangXian romance the novel gifted us while CQL teased and teased us until we were this close to crying (by the end, I swear I had mini heart attacks everytime they so much as looked at each other. I NEEDED them to kiss so bad!!) The novel also had a better pacing than CQL, according to me. Instead of a long long flashback, the novel took us back and forth as the story moved forward. It kept things exciting!

CQL also had it's own magical moments that I can never deny. I loved how we got more Yanli/Wuxian interaction in the drama. The novel lacked the brother/sister bond but CQL really highlighted that which I loved. Then there was the lantern scene, the lotus seed boat scene, the Rain Scene (I'm still not over that one ohh my god Wang Yibo what did you doo!!!!!) the last freaking episode (I sobbed!) There are so many many scenes I loved! I also loved Jiang in CQL. Zhuocheng really brought him to life with his steller acting!

Would I have loved the novel without watching CQL or the anime version before? You can bet that I would've!!

There are three things I love most in a story CC; BL, thriller and angst. And MDZS had all three of these things packed so tight that I couldn’t even look at anything else while reading. This novel is going down on my favorite list, hands down! It might even be on the top 3 with how much I loved it.

What about you CC? is there any part you liked better in the novel/cql? Do let me know! 😊😊

#mdzsnetcc #CC #asks

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 5 years

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Episode 123: Room for Ruby

“It's sunny now, but it can always rain later.”

Catch and Release really did change everything. I’ve already discussed it as a paradigm shift, transforming the concept of what the Crystal Gems are: before, a quartet with Steven as the rookie, and after, a fluid group where Steven has some seniority. We’re in an era where Connie, a full-fledged human, is a Crystal Gem. Bismuth, who already was a Crystal Gem but got reintroduced and then left behind, will return as a member of the modern iteration. And two former enemies, Peridot and Lapis, have joined the group (the latter unofficially). So who’s to say a ruby soldier wouldn’t fit in?

Granted, Charlyne Yi’s performs a ruby that’s a little too forgiving, and power combo Raven Molisee (of the highly expressive Molisee’n’Villeco) and Jesse Zuke (of the barnmaster duo Zuke’n’Florido) exaggerate her face and words to the point where it’s at least a little suspicious from the start. But Navy, cleverly named for the gem on her navel just as Army is named for her arm gem, has always been friendly and chipper compared to the other rubies in her squad. It’s believable, despite us never witnessing it, that the other rubies are mean to her for this attitude. And because this is a ridiculous character, it was always possible that her ridiculously jolly attitude was sincere.

That Navy is lying the whole time is irrelevant to the wonder of a show that makes us believe that she might join up. Her betrayal might be predictable, but our status quo is as capable of change as the planet our heroes love; it’s a similar sensation to Alone at Sea, where even though nothing drastic happens there’s a real possibility that Lapis might relapse and go back to Malachite. It’s so much better than an episode where we know from the start that the character-of-the-week will depart by the end of the story.

Navy’s chipper behavior is variably cute and questionable, but I love the massive hint that is the rain sequence. Gems become Crystal Gems when exposed to water, so Navy gets her own little baptism as part of the orientation. But because she’s a false convert, we get artificial rain for her artificial reaction. Yi sells absurd joy as well as absurd frustration, but there’s a cloud hanging over this moment that becomes clearer on rewatch.

Despite beginning with Steven and Garnet, then bringing Navy along for the ride, Room for Ruby becomes a Lapis Lazuli episode as soon as we head back to the barn. Navy is as one-dimensional as it gets before the reveal, blithely accepting everything that comes her way and seeming incapable of feeling negative emotions, so she needs an external opponent if we want this episode to have a plot. Yes, it’d be fun to see this goofball being a goofball for eleven minutes, but thankfully Steven Universe is willing to go deeper.

Peridot’s bossiness and desire to impress makes her an excellent candidate to teach Navy the ropes, and both can bond with fellow shorty Steven over a shared go-get’em mindset. So it makes sense that our wet blanket is Lapis, who first distrusts Navy and then gets fed up with how easy everything is for her. She’s trying, but seeing another foe-turned-friend have such a smooth go of it isn’t easy, and exploring those emotions of jealousy and inadequacy allows for a wonderful last hurrah before Lapis abandons Earth in Raising the Barn.

Lapis has a tricky role to play here, as she’s straddling the line between protagonist and antagonist depending on how much you trust Navy. Our hero/villain is portrayed sympathetically, as we’re reminded of her traumas and her slow but steady recovery process; she might come across as petty, but it’s understandable pettiness when Navy breezes by in areas where Lapis has struggled. And it helps that unlike fellow Ornery Lapis episode Barn Mates, Navy doesn’t seem to get upset at the negativity; this isn’t Peridot trying to win over a stubborn holdout, it’s a spacy ruby who ignores the venom. But at the same time, Lapis is the only protester in the Navy Parade, and her clash with Steven’s goal of bringing in a new friend makes her a huge bummer.

Which is why I love this episode’s lesson so much: that it’s sometimes okay to be a huge bummer.

It’s okay because everyone’s going through the world at their own pace, and whether you’re clinically depressed, a survivor of trauma, or you’re just plain sad, it doesn’t make you less worthy than folks in a happier mood. Lapis attempts patience and understanding despite her annoyance, and only snaps when Navy’s attitude turns sickly sweet; feelings of inferiority are hard to work through, but it doesn’t make it okay to be a jerk the whole time. Even after the outburst, Lapis is quick to reassure Navy, acknowledging that it’s an internal problem and apologizing. She wants to like the newcomer, but as soon as she senses the forced perkiness it’s hard for her not to notice that something’s off.

A good twist is something that makes you rethink the plot, but a great twist does this duty while being enjoyable as a plot point on its own merits. The execution of Navy’s betrayal is marvelous, even as it becomes more and more obvious that it’s coming. After spending the whole episode geeking out about Earth stuff, Navy not-so-subtly suggests that she wants to go back to her ship. Steven not only falls for it, but is down to press a huge button without asking follow-up questions; it may seem inconsistent with his growing maturity, but it makes sense that an excitable kid is lost in the joy of making a new friend. The stranger area for me is his exclamation that the Crystal Gems “finally” have a pilot, as if Pearl hasn’t been successfully navigating spaceships this whole time, but again, he’s caught up in the moment.

The twist-within-a-twist is that while Navy has been plotting against our heroes this whole time, her demeanor isn’t part of the act. Yi's transition from earnest giddiness on land versus manic giddiness post-betrayal is worth the price of admission, especially as she merrily explains that she opted not to just steal the ship because she wanted to watch the Crystal Gems suffer.

And of course, this brings about Lapis’s triumphant laughter at being proven right. Jennifer Paz is awesome throughout the episode, restraining herself when necessary for big bursts of energy to hit home, and it culminates in the sheer joy that comes from righteous vindication. We could’ve gotten a somber moment of Steven’s anguish at being tricked, similar to what we got after Peridot’s duplicity in Message Received, but Lapis allows us a sense of relief despite things going horribly.

In an episode featuring a character as unsubtle as Navy (being tricky doesn’t stop her from being loud and hammy), I love the quieter story we get from Garnet. We only get a nudge that Navy’s story appeals to Ruby and Sapphire, but we don’t need more than that, so I’m glad we don’t get more. Yes, it would be fun to see Ruby hanging out with Navy, but the episode’s focus is elsewhere and we don’t indulge in fanservice that would take away from the plot. The two balloons Garnet brings at the end are color-coded for convenience, so we don’t need anyone to tell us that the optimistic red message is Ruby’s hopes and the apologetic blue message is Sapphire’s realism. It’s not a novel observation that Steven Universe respects the audience enough to not hold our hands, but it’s still appreciated.

(Also appreciated is a soft moment of Garnet bonding with Steven independent of the plot as they make wishes; Steven may be growing up fast, but he’s still allowed to be a kid sometimes instead of spending every episode in teen angst mode.)

In terms of criticisms, I’m a little torn about the pacing: Room for Ruby meanders a bit in that second act, even though I understand its purpose. Lapis needs to have her tolerance for Navy strained to a breaking point so she’s not throwing a tantrum out of nowhere, so we need multiple examples of frustrating glee. But it does get a little boring on rewatch to have the point driven home again and again that Navy is a perfect little angel, even if it’s all building up to the twist that she’s anything but.

Still, I can’t help but enjoy the nostalgia this structure provides, because major plot points aside, the episode fits right in with classic Season 1. We get a simple story that primes us for an obvious conclusion. Steven will find an unusual solution in his cheeseburger backpack. Steven will learn patience when Pearl takes a while to reform. Steven’s beach party with the Gems and the Pizzas will teach the Gems to respect civilians more. Lapis will grow to accept Navy’s differences. But instead, Steven’s improvisation only goes so far, and he’s impatient again as soon as Pearl returns, and the Gems still don’t care about Fish Stew Pizza, and Lapis’s negative outlook was correct. Steven Universe first made its mark by toying with the conventions of episodes with straightforward morals, and it’s nice to see that legacy continue so late in the series.

The implications of Navy’s actions are soon made clear, as the loss of the Crystal Gems’ only means of space travel (stolen from the very barn where Steven, Greg, and Pearl first experimented with space travel!) makes Steven’s imminent sacrifice that much weightier. But before that shoe drops, we can enjoy one last glimpse of our favorite little ruby.

(I’m kidding of course, our Ruby is the best ruby.)

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Charlyne Yi hamming it up and Lapis’s grouchiness paying off? What’s not to love?

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

6. Horror Club 5. Fusion Cuisine 4. House Guest 3. Onion Gang 2. Sadie’s Song 1. Island Adventure

#room for ruby #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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dearlydreadful · 5 years

Text

Proud Of You - Part Four - Jung Hoseok

Starring - Jung Hoseok

Genre - fluff / angst

Summary

Hoseok and Y/N grew up together. They lived on the same street for as long as either could remember. Their parents loved each other and it was constantly brought up that the two would marry one day. That was the expectation. Two neighbors that would fall in love as they grew up and get married.

Hoseok grew up with a soft spot for Y/N. He wouldn’t quite call it love, but it could’ve certainly blossomed into it. That is, if it weren’t for every other boy constantly trying to win Y/N’s heart.

Y/N grew up with a sore spot for Hoseok. She was constantly reminded that he was the perfect son-in-law her parents always wanted. She couldn’t stand to be held to the standards of perfect.

Part 4 - You Haven’t Been The Same

Hoseok clutched the glass in his hand and balled his other hand in his pocket. He was simply trying to keep face for another hour and then he could leave his work function. He had plans for after. The same plans he'd had for the last several weeks.

Hit up a few of the regular clubs. Stay for about an hour each. Keep alert for one thing.

Ara.

He hadn't seen her in weeks. She responded to his texts but only with vague responses. He got a lot of 'stop worrying' and 'I feel fine'. No one had seen her, not even the bartenders.

He had never liked seeing her in the bars and clubs too much. He clung to it now. He waited to see her hands reach above her or her hair stick to her forehead. He just needed confirmation that she was alive.

He was drowning in his thoughts about her. He pushed them down only when he heard his name.

"Hoseok! It's good to see you! How have you been?"

He greeted his coworker happily and carried on with conversation. The minutes ticked by while he made casual small talk. He was good at focusing on the task at hand, though thoughts of her still filtered through occasionally.

He rejoiced internally as the time finally came when he could make his exit. He still had to do one more round of goodbyes, mostly to his seniors, and then he would be in the clear. He approached one of the assistant managers and bowed deeply, giving his formal goodbye.

"Hoseok, before you depart, have you met the Director's date? She's quite the enchanter."

"Nonsense. I'm just a regular gal that ended up in a fancy gown."

That voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He couldn't quite believe his eyes. While he had been searching club after club for her, here she was. At his work function. With dyed blonde hair. And a gown that truly showed every perfect curve. Her eyes widened slightly as they met his.

"Oh. Hoseok."

His name fell out of her mouth like a whisper.

"You two already know each other? I should have expected as much!"

Hoseok barely glances at the man he works with. He's to stunned to reply and certainly to enchanted to really look away from her.

"Hoseok and I are old schoolmates. We attended high school together."

She smiled with her mouth closed. Schoolmates. He considers the word inadequate.

"I must be off to find Felix now. I'm sure he's lost without me."

She gives a slight bow. Her eyes linger on him for just a moment before she turns. He watches her back as she drifts into the crowd. This sight is so different from anything he's seen.

She's completely changed. Her hair is the same long length and beautifully frames her face, but it's now a bleached blonde. Her body is still the same curvy shape, but the dress on it flows all the way to the ground with long sleeves. Her face is as beautiful as ever, but it has more makeup than he's used to and the smile on her face doesn't reach her eyes.

He can't wrap his head around seeing her in this kind of crowd.

It takes several moments for him to regain what he'd lost. He moves toward her, desperate to hear her voice again. He needs to hear her talk to be sure this is real.

He finds her cozied up to one of the older Director's side. She's wrapped around his arm. She says something with a sly smile he can't quite hear yet and the group of men around her laugh. He feels something hard bubble in his chest. He quickly pushes himself into the small group.

"Director Yi, you have to tell us where you found a gem like her."

"That's easy. She found me"

Ara rolled her eyes. "You boys talk as if you've never met a woman."

"Not one quite like you."

"Or maybe you just haven't treated one quite right."

"Aish." The man clutched his chest as the group laughed again.

Hoseok has seen this side of Ara plenty of times in clubs. She was a natural charmer. But this was still different. This set him on edge. She wasn't supposed to be here, like this.

Her eyes linked with his. She seemed ruffled that he was here again. He tilted his head to signal her that he wanted to get away. She bit her bottom lip before giving the smallest of nods.

"If you excuse me now, gentlemen, I'll be back in a few moments."

They all gave her low bows and grumbled 'come back soon'. She bowed slightly back and gracefully walked away. Hoseok followed, leaving just enough space. He sighed as he realized where she was heading.

She placed a hand on the cool marble of the small makeshift bar. She ordered a glass of wine and then turned to him.

"What can I do for you, Hoseok?"

He felt his world tilt again. She sounded normal. Her voice wasn't as light as it was earlier and she was so blunt. Hearing his name in that tone did awful things to his heart. She never called him Hoseok.

He licked his lips. "What happened to your hair?"

"I bleached it."

"Why?"

"Is this really why you pulled me away?"

"Ara," she held her hand up and his words got caught in his throat.

"I needed a change. So I changed my hair."

His eyebrows furrowed. Needed a change from what? He attempted to swallow but his mouth was dry.

"I apologize for stumbling into your company. I won't come back."

"How did you get here?"

She shrugs. "I had a blind date."

"At a party like this?"

"No."

Hoseok exhales heavily through his nose. He knows she's dancing around his questions. He can see in her eyes, as she scans the room, that she's about to run from him. He can't let that happen.

He reaches for her hand on the marble and takes it firmly in his. He's been at this venue before and he knows exactly where he wants to go to get real answers from Ara. He guides her through the hall. She protests slightly, pulling back on her hand, but gives in as she doesn't want to make a scene.

He leads her out of the main room and down a hall. Finally, they reach glass doors that open up to a small balcony. Hoseok closes the doors behind them. She pouts and crosses her arms.

"Hoseok, why would you do that?"

He inhales slowly, taking one step toward her. "This is the first time I've seen you in weeks. You look completely unlike yourself. You are putting some kind of act up around everyone in that room. And you keep calling me Hoseok."

"That is your name."

"Ara, cut it out."

"Or what? Will you call my parents again?"

Her words slice him. After her incident in the club, he had reached out to her parents. He was worried and he thought they could help.

"Will you tell them how I need to be watched more closely? How I need to get married? No need to worry, Hoseok. I'm here with a date and he is doing exactly what you wanted."

"What do you mean?"

"I got set up and now I'm somebody's trophy. Congratulations for ruining my life, yet again."

"That's not what I wanted."

"It's not what I wanted either, but look at where we are."

Her eyes burned with tears. She refused to let them fall but he could see them.

"I should get back before he looks for me."

"Let me,"

"Don't."

"Ara."

She shakes her head and pushes past him. She pauses at the glass doors, giving him one last glance. "There's no fix to this, Hoseok." Her voice is low and broken.

And then she's gone.

Hoseok stays on the balcony for what feels like hours. He tries to process her words.

Date. Married. Trophy. No Fix.

Then he thinks of the words she didn't say.

It's all your fault, Hoseok.

They repeat with no end. The woman he cared about more than anything in the world is now completely out of his reach. Because of him. He felt empty.

Next.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts jhope #bts hoseok #jhope #j-hope #jung hoseok #hoseok #bangtan #sunshine #hobi #bts hobi

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