#notavictim
Text
TITLE: PUSHING THROUGH THE TRAUMA
Can I keep it all the way real?
Like, too real? Like, TMI real? Like, “why would you share that?” real?
On June 3rd, I was sexually assaulted. Abused- physically, mentally and emotionally.
During the assault, my attacker tied a belt around my neck. Can I be honest? That night, I thought that I was going to die.. I hate admitting this but, a piece of me did…die that night. I always viewed intimacy- sex to be specific as this heightened spiritual experience. There was always an aspect of sex that scared me. I guess it’s because I know my sexual energy & how intense/spiritual it is… so I’ve always made it an unspoken rule- to only share it with the person that I loved or cared very very deeply for.
But, that night- my option was taken from me. An experience that should’ve been fueled by consent or pleasure was the exact opposite.
I remember crawling into a ball- I didn’t know at the time what balling up meant… but, I was trying to hide and sink into a place that made me feel safe. But, I couldn’t find that place.
I also remember being snatched by my hair… back into reality but, I still felt like I was in a different dimension.
Why share this with anyone? Why share this on social media?
Because, everyday… EVERYDAY… I have to make a conscious decision to not live in the “victim” mindset. I have to make a conscious effort to push past this trauma. Was I impacted by this? Yes? Will I ever be the same? Probably not. Do certain day to day things trigger me? Yes. I have to go to therapy now. In some ways, I experience PTSD. If I see a man that looks like him, I immediately go into a panic. If I smell cologne that favors his, I instantly feel sick to my stomach. If I see a grey jeep driving around the town/going or coming in my direction, I detour. That’s mental jail. For days, touching my intimate area while showering made me cringe.
I’ve had to bare the shame of his actions. I’ve had to bare the embarrassment. I’ve had to feel what it’s like to hang your head low while peoples eyes label you and judge you. To have to get a pregnancy test or get STI testing was truly shameful. Thank God everything is normal, but it is and was still traumatic. To have to hold in the tears and find a polite response when someone asks you… do you hope that the pregnancy test says negative or positive. It’s like…. You have no idea what I’ve gone through to be in this moment.
(Yes. I’m being overtly transparent) BUT,
I know that my story will help lead someone else to justice. I pray that my story acts as a foundation to advocate for young black sexual assault victims- for those that were raped- for those that revoked consent- for those that were violently attacked- for those that didn’t want to live after their attack- for those that bare the blame because they lost their fight or voice during- for those that felt unworthy or like their “sacred” thing was taken… I’m going to use my power… my voice to fight… so that he never does this to anyone again. I know that I can’t save the world but if I can save just one or two people from what I experienced that night… I can press a little further.
#sexualassault#survivor#mystory#pushingthrough#pushthrough#notavictim#june3rd#trauma#abuse survivor#rapesurvivor#rapeculture#speakingup
6 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Check Out This Fantastic Post Just Published on https://selfdefensegearco.com/personal-protection/is-the-taser-pulse-a-viable-option-for-self-defense/
Is The TASER Pulse a Viable Option For Self Defense?
The taser is a nonlethal option, so that is very beneficial in a dangerous situation where it may not rise to the level of deadly force. But you still need to be able to evade or escape a bad situation. So we’re going to talk about this little tool today. Ultimately, you want a decent […]
0 notes
Photo
I love my flamenco class, it really keeps my brain going and my body working ♥️💃🏾 but it also teaches me so much more about myself. Like it’s so hard for me to focus, how easily I feel intimidated, how I feel picked on, disliked, ignored or betrayed . But then I realize these are my thoughts and my feelings only and so I work on my issues and release them them until they sneak up on me again but I never quit. I stay on it and even though my body is not the same at 67, I accept it and keep going. I do this for me, for my soul and that’s it. So whatever obstacles I make up in my brain can easily overcome them by not quitting, by keeping it going and being ok with all my imperfections. Loving me ♥️ taking care of me ♥️ before I know it I’m focused and I’m getting it my way at my pace, slowly but surely. #loveflamenco #myinsecurities #keepgoing #notaquitter #nevereverquit #victorious #notavictim #myfeelings #thetruth #loveme #imjustme #imenough #childhoodtrauma (at Shakti Dance Goddess) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdvoTn0LsqD/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
#loveflamenco#myinsecurities#keepgoing#notaquitter#nevereverquit#victorious#notavictim#myfeelings#thetruth#loveme#imjustme#imenough#childhoodtrauma
0 notes
Note
What do you think about that NotAVictim website?
Ugh. I know the woman who started it. I grew up with her kids. I think her intentions were… somewhat good. She sees the dark side of the Internet. She gets the death threats. She has been assaulted by prochoicers who are angry. She got tired of the narrative that every woman who gets an abortion is just a sad sad victim who really is just lied to and confused. BUT she took it to a huge extreme and I think her YouTube account and Facebook account just…. Exacerbates and generalizes.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reply to Anonymous
My husband is an amazing man. There is not a single thing I need or want that I don't have! He would never lay a hand on me! #notavictim
0 notes
Text
Stacey dash spouse
#Stacey dash spouse movie#
Stacey was also in the 1995 “Clueless” feature film, and her other works include television series, music videos and film appearances. She is an actress and former talk show hostess. Stacey Dash was born on the 20th January, 1966. Lola Maby and Markus Maby are the two children of James Maby – daughter Lola was born from the one-year marriage to Stacy Dash, while Markus is the product of his marriage to Kam Heskin. Stacey Dash was to later emerge as a survivor of sexual violence and abuse in 2016. James had previously been married to Landon Clement from 2008 to 2013, and his shortest marriage was with Stacey Dash from 2005 to 2006 only. He is now married to Kam Heskin, as the two got hitched in 2018. James Maby has been in several relationships, including marriage. At Sports Logistics, James Maby is a consultant for sponsoring brands, and his experience has seen him rise to the top ranks in the sports sponsorship industry. His work sees him deliver sports tournaments while working with various sporting bodies. He has since then been involved in tens of tournaments and sporting events. His participation in sports and sporting events started with the FIFA World (soccer) Cup of 1990 held in Italy. James Maby has been in one career for most of his life. The photos also give occasional glimpses into his personal life. From the photos he shares with fans when he is not doing great things at Sports Logistics, he owns or lives in some lavish mansion. During his rise to popularity, he lived a latter day James Bond lifestyle. However, a low profile seems to be James Maby’s preference in recent years, as he keeps his family and himself away from the limelight. In celebrity circles, he is known for marrying three times, and being the father of two, and now lives a sophisticated lifestyle of fortune.
#Stacey dash spouse movie#
Dash was the earliest cast member of the movie ‘Clueless.Posted by James Maby on Thursday, September 18, 2014 Dash was a Democrat until she shifted and turned into a Republican. ‘The Letters of Marque’ were established by Dash at 2008. Dash has appeared in several music videos such as Kanye West’s 2005 ‘All Falls’ 8. She states that she’s not comfortable sharing a toilet with them since they infringe on her personal moment. Dash has strong remarks concerning transgender men and women. She stated that in his address after receiving an award at BET, he spoke ill of white individuals. Dash compared Jesse Williams into a ‘Hollywood farm servant’. Dash believes that Roger Ailes is your very best. Dash wishes to return to the ‘Mad Men’ times where people acted like their sex rather than changing and getting transgender. Dash was proven to defend conservatives that were weak. #freedomOFspeech #Leavetheplantation #GodBless? #NOTaVictim /LaAes57T9q Dash who’s a Republican is going to have difficulty competing with the recent Congresswoman who’s a Democrat.įight the good fight. It had been verified that she wished to become a part of the Congressional Elections of 2018 when she steered her papers to run into California’s 44th congressional district. She worked on Fox News before 2017 and she’s proven to be a massive supporter of President Donald Trump. Dash emerged in other films like ‘Illegal in Blue,’ ‘Phantom Punch, ” ‘Gang of Roses, ” ‘Dysfunctional Friends, ” ‘Single Ladies, ” ‘Wild about Harry’ and ‘Enemy Territory.’ By 2014 to 2015, Dash was likewise a co-host on a talk show called ‘Outnumbered,’ that was featured on Fox News. Dash also appeared from the ‘Clueless’ show that ran from 1996 to 1999. Back in 1985, Dash acquired her first significant part when she appeared on ‘The Cosby Show’ and afterwards ‘The New Prince of Bel-Air.’ Back in 1988, Dash appeared in a comedy film called ‘Moving,’ and at precisely the exact same season, she acted at the films ‘Renaissance Man’ and ‘Mo’ Money.’ Back in 1995, Dash became famous when she looked in the film ‘Clueless.’ The adolescent movie was such a success which a set of the exact same title was made. Films of 1985Dash’s acting career began in 1982 when she looked in the film ‘Farell: To the Individuals’ The film aired NBC however, it did not go well whatsoever.
0 notes
Text
#music#healing#freedom#notavictim#break free#narcissist#toxic relationship#toxicity#divorce#abusive relationship#preserverance#survivor#gaslighting#mental abuse is still abuse#surviving narcissism#Spotify
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
The goddess wall- this wall is one of my favorite features in my house. The golden mirror is surrounded by famous women of myths and history, goddesses and legends. When you stand in the mirror, you are one of them. Whenever I feel weak, afraid, or damaged, I stand in the circle and remember who I come from. When my daughter struggles, I stand her in front of the mirror too, and I remind her- all these beautiful and fierce women are looking to you- because you’re one of them.
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
To Be Or Not To Be!! … a Damaged Broken Victim or a Wounded Warrior Survivor…
TIERNEY THERAPY
For those of us who have suffered or continue to suffer a past trauma event, its too easy to remain a damaged or broken victim. This leads to victim mentality and victim complex, which have a sabotaging effect on the long term recovery from our demons. Society, unfortunately and unwittingly, promotes these conditions in the sufferer, by focusing on what the victim presents with rather than finding a concrete solution to cast aside these demons from the off.
As the world of modern therapy is unable to process, heal and release the past, only capable of working with what each client presents with, this causes the client to relive the role of victimhood in that event, by expressing their feelings.
As they were victims at the time of the event, being offered a safe therapeutic place where that person can re-experience the event, leads the client to manifest victim mentality in the now.
Whereas, were we to introduce the client to the concept that they are in fact Warriors who Survived an event that a lesser person would have succumbed to; that would have floored an elephant; in this moment we offer the client self-belief, hope and purpose and the knowledge that they can recover fully from this event.
Furthermore, they are not Broken ,Damaged or Victims, rather they are Wounded, and wounds can heal over time.
Therapy should be about offering clients hope and a light at the end of the tunnel.
Therapy should not be about labelling Warriors Survivors as having disorders and instilling a victim mentality or complex on that person.
This has always confused and challenged me. How can it be that a person who struggles on, to the best of their abilities and survive their traumatic past, comes looking for help and are told, their best efforts at staying safe and sane, are a mental disorder.
I mentioned in an earlier post about us either being a part of the problem or part of the solution, and here we have the survivor, now being told they are the problem.
I also mentioned earlier about Cause and Effect. What the client presents with is the effect & the cause is the event. The problem is the event, not how the client presents.
In an earlier post, I share the illustration of one breaking their leg, going to the hospital and the doctor prescribes medication for the physical pain and medication for how that person is presenting emotionally. And then sent home. For awhile one does not feel the pain, but over time gangrene can set in and the leg can be lost. Had the doctor treated the leg, the emotional wounds light have healed on their own.
It’s the same with the traumatic event and treating the client as a Wounded Warrior Survivor rather than a damaged broken victim. Treat the event, cast out the demons and the warrior can have their wounds healed, they might even heal naturally, without any need from the outside world.
The fact that the event is part of the past, our history and cannot be treated in the present by modern means, we require an open-mindedness to embrace the concept of a spiritual solution.
Either the most important person in this whole affair is the client or its the mental health industry.
Each and every person on this earth; deserves the right to live their lives present in the present; not tormented by the past or dreading the future.
#mental health#MentalWellness#mental heath support#prisiclladupreez#trauma recovery#trauma healing#the past is history#spiritual healing#thevictoryprinciple#tierneytherapy#ptsdwarrior#warrior#ptsdsurvivor#survivor#notavictim#freedom from fear
1 note
·
View note
Photo
Britney defended herself exactly the way her brother taught her, knees to face and then a quick stomp to keep him down! #stomp #knee #britney #selfdefence #nofear #notavictim (at Atlantic Beach, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMtKWo1Hb1F/?igshid=1v6w79rel0kd5
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Introduction
I have a million thoughts at all times and I need to start writing so I don't go crazy. I mean... I've BEEN writing. But it's time to start putting it out there where it can be seen and related to (or judged--depending on the type of person you are).
I haven't always had racing thoughts like these... It's all the memories replaying over and over. It's constant self awarenesses I can't seem to switch off. When my mind is idle for more than a moment, i first feel the sadness and the existential dread creep in. Then as it settles and gets comfortable for the night, I spend that time evaluating myself. Wondering what it is that is causing these feelings. I look at my current situation and run down the list of things that are going wrong but it's not that much. Surely not enough to validate random anguish. That's how best I can describe it. I am not depressed. I just have a few moments almost every day where I get overcome by flashbacks and I get really sad... Anyway so then I compulsively dig through my memories looking for where it all went so wrong. I was once so full of life. Now I am a shell, desperate to understand why.
No one really knows or understands me, which I've given up on changing. You spend months of your life making a new friend or getting to know a possible love interest, exposing yourself to them and trying to get them to get you. Then they just disappear anyway so I'm done explaining who I am or how I got this way for any one particular person. Now it's just for myself. I need to rehash every horrible thing I can recollect and it won't be pretty. This life has shown me some things I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Part of my problem, I'm sure, is the fact that I never was able to talk about the bad stuff as a child. Yeah, that's right I'm about to go fully Fruedian and bring up my childhood. If I tried to talk about it to my parents, the house would erupt in chaos as my brother got overly defensive, with my mom always turned to my dad to handle it. My father always resolved to blame me for provoking the beatings and he never protected me like a dad should.
I couldn't talk to friends about it because people did not believe me. One good friend I had when I was maybe 11 or 12 was on the phone with me and I told her I was being beaten. I was afraid to get help for myself because I didn't want to get taken away and be outcasted by my family or see anyone get in trouble. I was hoping letting the truth slip out would maybe save me if she told her parents or something... She told me she could not be my friend anymore because she didn't want to deal with negativity like that. This one goes out to you, Kristen. I still remember and I hope you do too. That caused me to start concealing what I should have been getting help for, because I didn't wanna chase anyone else away.
At family functions, people would ask about the bruises. With some close family I was honest. But I was safe to be honest because they already knew I was being abused. My dad had a history of beating my mother in front of my eldest siblings when he still drank hard liquor and the abuse was a generational tradition in our house. People in my extended family knew, and did nothing.
Between getting mocked by my abusive brother if I cried or complained about it when it was happening, and being looked at like I was making up stories out of some kind of warped desperation for attention, I was pretty much done attempting to be heard. I instead resorted to smoke signals. I started taking my hoodies off in elementary school. I stopped trying to hide the bruises. I wanted a teacher or guidance counselor to see the marks and force me to tell them what is going on. I wanted to be safe.
I was acting out in school and getting in trouble a lot so I was in the guidance counselor's office often, and she turned a blind eye to every indication of abuse. I got punished for being the class clown, because I was trying so hard not to come off negative and chase my other friends away. After all, my friends were my only distraction from the misery that awaited me at home.
At night, from the time I was 8 or 9 years old, I would fall asleep imagining my own death. They weren't thoughts of suicide. Just fantasies of what it would be like when he killed me all the way. At that age already, I was fully convinced that he would kill me. He was bigger, stronger, with obvious mental instability, and a horrible fucking temper like nothing I've ever seen to this day. He'd tell me every day while he had me pinned down by the face, punching and kicking me that he couldn't wait for me to die and then the world would be a better place. He also told me quite often that he couldn't wait to kill me in a tone of voice I can only describe as demonic.
I don't remember all of my childhood because I blocked it out subconsciously. From what I remember though, I was living my worst nightmare. As if that wasn't bad enough, I felt forced to suppress my thoughts and feelings about it and therefore, I was never allowed to fully process it.
I keep having this recurring thought that if I write it all out and claim it as my story, I will get closure. If I do so publicly, like on here, maybe I will even feel a little of the validation I have long been denied. If anyone wanta to know me at my core or if I want them to maybe I can just send the link to this account and let them read my story and see all the ways I express myself through art and music. This tumblr will serve as a blog of my story as a survivor as well as a portfolio where I can showcase my many passions.
1 note
·
View note
Photo
Check Out This Fantastic Post Just Published on https://selfdefensegearco.com/personal-protection/is-the-taser-pulse-a-viable-option-for-self-defense/
Is The TASER Pulse a Viable Option For Self Defense?
The taser is a non-lethal option, so that is very beneficial in a dangerous situation where it may not rise to the level of deadly force. But you still need to be able to evade or escape a bad situation. So we’re going to talk about this little tool today.Ultimately, you want a decent spread […]
0 notes
Photo
{ #communicationskills } || source: createsaferelationships
#bechrooflife#boundariesarehealthy#settingboundaries#setboundaries#codepen#codependentnomore#personalgrowthanddevelopment#notavictim#gutfeeling#kindnessmatters#kindnessrocks#kindnessissexy#protectyourenergy#protectyourheart#protectyourself#onlinelearning#psychoeducation#communicationskills#nervouswreck#favourites#updates#IG: join.a.groupchat
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve had Epilepsy for about 11 years now and I’m SO fucking over it. The whole concept just pisses me off. Like, what have I done to deserve this bs. And I can’t drive anymore either which just feels like the end of the world sometimes. Being dependent on others makes me feel hopeless.
BUT, in an effort to be less of a victim, I’ve been trying to focus on something my boyfriend said when talking about his dad who was a quadriplegic... He said, “My dad tried to wiggle his toes every day. Not just everyday for 1 or 2 years but every single day for 25 years.” Until the day he died he never was able to wiggle his toes, but he never stopped trying.
So. What I’ve learned from this and hope that you will to is... be pissed off and scream and cry and wallow in self-pity, when you feel like you need to. But don’t stay there forever. Never ever ever under any circumstances let anyone or any diagnosis make you feel hopeless or like you should just give up. We can’t always control our lives but really, what does it hurt to try?
1 note
·
View note
Text
Hear me on this, sweet person, you are good enough. You deserve better. Free yourself. Let them live in exile.
#
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reminder #1
Your vulnerability and character flaws are never to blame for the abuse you endured or the trauma inflicted on you by another. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
#strongwomen#notavictim#abuse#feminism#not your fault#self healing#love#beautiful women#unity#down with the patriarchy#self love#womensmarch#girl power#trauma#male violence#100% done
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
nzdraws
NZdraws
writtenhuman
written human
multifandomnonsense
Random Nonsense
thatundiagnosedbitch
I....I....
six-path
SIX PATHS OF PAIN