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alastors-antlers · 4 months

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Being someone who sees a lot of talk about shipping Alastor (sexually, romantically) in fanworks, I just want to take some time to talk about both sides of the issue. It's long, I know - please, please bear with me until the end, and I hope you'll understand what I mean in a bit.

I hope this helps someone, but as an aroace person who understands the frustration and hurt, this is often how it feels to me:

Alastor, being one of the limited cases of aspec rep that I've seen and one of even fewer which I actually enjoyed, means a lot to me.

That being said, his canon rep establishes that he's aroace but not much about how this factors into his life or relationships at all -- and when there's a gap in canon, I turn to fanfiction, which tends to spotlight characters' queerness even when the source material doesn't or can't. Don't we all want to see ourselves in the media we engage with?

When I pull up AO3, there are already a good number of fics about him. Great! Some of them are definitely incredible; but as I read on, it starts to seem like a lot of fics I see acknowledge that he's asexual or aromantic in some way but don't really factor that into the story. It reads like you could have written the story without keeping his queer identity in mind, and it would've come out the same.

Even when representation that does resonate with me exists, it starts to be exhausting to pick through the slash tags to see which ones are written in an aspec-coded way, so I wonder if it would be easier to not read anything with slash at all. On the other hand, when you filter ships out completely, only a tiny fraction of the fanworks are left.

People often respond that aspec people can have relationships, and I think we tend to know that. They can have sex, some can experience sexual attraction in select situations, they can romance others beyond romantic attraction -- any combination of things. But some aroace people don't want either, and sometimes we're struggling to see ourselves in how Alastor is typically portrayed.

Out of all of the fics, sex-repulsed, totally aromantic Alastor isn't seen much. And when Alastor's limited canon seems to be pretty supportive of a reading where he is those things...

Sometimes, you start to feel lost. If fics were evenly distributed along the aroace spectrum of experiences, wouldn't you expect more fics of him being the "totally uninterested" brand of aroace? But there aren't. People seem to have a preference toward seeing him in relationships. Even if they mean well, it can make you think: what does that say about how we view asexuality/aromanticism as a whole?

Is there something less interesting about Alastor, when romance is taken out of the picture? Do others find him less appealing as a character if they can't see him dating, or in love, or having sex or wanting it? Why do we need romance, when romance is already everywhere else, when it doesn't even feel like he was originally really interested? It brings to mind a struggle to be societally accepted, even today.

Even when it's not technically wrong to write Alastor as you see him, being told that we should all be able to ship him however we want can feel like this:

It brings to mind people who try to swing in with misinformed good intentions, telling us "oh, you're aromantic? but you can still have romantic relationships, right? so you can still be normal." when all we want is to be okay outside of the normal.

Or trying to find a partner who can be with us, out of everyone who tells us "I know you don't enjoy sex, and that's okay, but I can't have a romantic relationship with you without it." and being so tired of hoping for someone who gets it.

Or talking with peers, and hearing them all commiserate and fawn over their experiences with love, then telling them about someone you like non-romantically and getting "aww, it sounds like somebody's got a crush!" but not being believed when you tell them it's not like that at all.

Alastor is not a big deal, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. But in an allonormative world, it can feel like a sudden splash of cold water when we were expecting a warm fire to sit around. Even within this ecosystem, we squint to see ourselves reflected.

Society isn't built for us. It can be exhausting to be reminded of that.

~~~

I hope to support people writing Alastor as any variation of aspec, or not even aspec at all. At the end of the day, I think that fanon is really whatever you want it to be, and everyone has their own reasons for writing what they find enjoyable. They should be allowed to do so, and I want to believe that people do what they do with good intentions.

They want to imagine scenarios with the templates of characters they love, and that's okay; even beyond sexuality/queer identities/etc., fan interpretations of characters can be incredibly, wildly different from who they really are in the story anyway, and that's what I try to remind myself. But still, I also can't help feeling disappointed about the aroace representation we could have seen.

(Is Alastor canonically sex-repulsed? Uhh, maybe. If I had to guess, that'd be my top guess, but this might be a hot take: I wouldn't really say there's enough to go off of considering that this view is supported by Angel propositioning him both times, and it's not like Alastor is a particularly big fan of Angel at those points anyway lol)

To my fellow aroaces struggling with Alastor's fandom rep: if you need a break from it all; if you need to block the tags that you hate; if you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling; that's okay. It makes sense that you'd want more representation in a way that helps you feel seen and validated and less alone. I can't speak for everyone, but I think I get it.

I don't have any solutions for how you're feeling, because sometimes I'm feeling the same way. I understand that you want others to get your position and you have the right to express your feelings, but even if you're correct, often being angry or frustrated won't help change others' minds, so let's try to save our energy and take care of ourselves.

Something that helps me to think about is that even now, asexuality is gaining more visibility. We're gaining support. Real change is happening in the world that's helping incredible amounts of aspec people feel freer to be themselves. And maybe one day, we won't be reaching to protect our scraps of representation.

Let's fight until that day together <3

#seriously I appreciate everyone who's out here posting about alastor I love being in the radio demon fanclub lol #just some thoughts that's all and maybe it'll resonate with others #please let's be patient with each other though it's rough out there already #alastor #hazbin #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #asexual #aromantic #asexual alastor #aromantic alastor #aroace alastor #alastor hazbin #ace #aro

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icaruspendragon · 3 months

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i hope this isn't too personal of a question (and if it is that's totally cool, i was literally just curious as a fellow aspec person), but i was wondering what some of your thoughts were about being aspec, like it's totally cool if your thoughts were just the post you reblogged!!! that's honestly still putting into words a bit a similar way i figured out i was aspec, but i know you seem to have really interesting takes on things/conclusions you've realized about things a lot of the time and so i was just curious what thoughts were turning around your head about being aspec

I don't mind talking about it at all!

So for me sex is like this perfunctory, borderline tedious thing. I almost want to call it a chore, but that has negative connotations that don't exactly match up with how I feel about it. It's like something on a to do list, or like running an errand.

Think of it this way: For me, having sex is akin to going to the pharmacy. Actually, it's more like being asked to go for someone else. It's not on my list of things I enjoy doing and there are other things I would rather do, but I don't mind going if someone asks me to. But once in a blue moon I do actually want to go because I want candy or a Juneberry Red Bull or some shit like that and Walgreens happens to be nearby.

Media builds up sex to be this incredible and awesome and amazing thing that everyone wants to have, which is at odds with the widely held societal belief that it's uncouth to discuss sex openly with others. So if media says "yes you should want this" and society says "but you shouldn't talk about it with others because it's an incredibly private act" it makes it kinda difficult when you don't feel the way you're "supposed to." And then when you do talk about how you don't feel that way, people say there's something wrong with you or that you haven't found the right person or that maybe you need to change things up in the bedroom or that you need to go to a doctor because it's gotta be a hormonal imbalance or something. The list really does go on and on.

And so many of my expectations surrounding sex were informed by fanfic where I read, in detail, about how good it was supposed to feel. About all the different ways it could feel good.

I wanted it to be like that for me, for it to be as good as I had read and seen and heard others talk about, so I kept on trying. And sometimes I enjoyed it. Not E rated fanfic enjoyed it, but it was nice. Nice in the same way a cup of tea is nice, but nice nonetheless.

But most of the time it was like, clinical? Like I was acutely aware of what was happening, if that makes sense. I was thinking about the mechanics of it, what was going in where. I was thinking about how it was "supposed to feel" versus how it actually felt. I would wonder how much longer it would take because I was getting bored. Sometimes I would think about how rude it would be if I checked my phone. And probably the most upsetting (retrospectively) thing I would think about was if my act of enjoyment was convincing enough. And I didn't ever want to tell a partner that I wasn't enjoying it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Because I thought it was a me problem. That there was something wrong with me. And there being something wrong with me wasn't fair to whoever I was with. I just needed to grin and bear it, so to speak.

At one point I had a bit of a gay panic where I thought wasn't bisexual and actually a lesbian. The panic was over the confusion, not over the potential lesbianism. Lesbians are awesome. But I learned that while sexual intimacy with women was a bit easier, my feelings (or lack thereof) about sex were still the same. And that meant there was something wrong with me in particular.

I know now that my perspective was warped and my thoughts about myself were both unkind and untrue, but that was a lot to try and reconcile as a 19 year old who already thought she was undesirable. Constantly being called a "late bloomer" and not having your first relationship until you're a sophomore in college sure does a number on your self esteem. Which in turn does a number on your perception of yourself.

Then as I got older, I got more queer friends. And I talked to those queer friends. And they talked about sex differently than my straight friends did. More openly and honestly. With less fanfare. And it was during those discussions that I heard about experiences similar to mine. And it helped me realize I wasn't broken. Well, that and google.

And now I stand before you today, an aspec bisexual able to joke about being horny in theory but not in application. It's nice not feeling broken anymore. But I think it's even nicer now knowing that I was never broken in the first place.

Sometimes sex is nice, but most of the time, it's just going to the pharmacy. And both of those things are okay.

#asks #if 20 year old Berklie could see me talking so frankly about my sex life she'd probably implode #but if you never talk about this kinda stuff it makes it awful hard for folks to know they're not the only ones #that they're not alone #and most importantly: that they're not broken like she had always been led to believe

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euovennia · 1 year

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Okay hi hello I’ve just binged your platonic Simon x reader headcannons and as an aspec person I am absolutely EATING THIS SHIT UP - Simon deserves someone to lean on and seeing him be vulnerable and care for someone like that and who will do the same for him makes my heart melt.

however, I am also a hopeless romantic and an absolute sucker for pain and the thought of Ghost catching feelings and being completely unaware of them because he’s barely used to having a friend let alone a crush; only realising after y/n does something he’d usually find stupid only to find himself completely smitten over it and him just going “oh. oh nO” and queue the internal turmoil because he has no idea what tf to do with himself and god forbid if y/n actually likes him back-

This has been plaguing me all morning and I cannot act right so I had to share it :,)

this can be a read as part of the bff ghost series i have going on, but i see it more as a "what if" kinda thing bc i strongly believe this man just needs a good friend. thank you for requesting, and as always, i hope you enjoy <3

warnings: nothing comes to mind, but lmk if you see something that needs to be added and i'll do it asap!

summary: ghost panics when he realizes he likes you just a little too much.

anon you're so smart for this because i genuinely feel like friends to lovers is the the easiest way for simon to fall in love

like there's already a deep, established trust there (in terms of being on the battlefield)

i mean obviously because if there wasn't you wouldn't even be on the team in the first place

but the trust he places in you on the field paired with the trust he has in you off the field?

i think it's safe to say that while this man doesn't realize it yet, he's already a goner

the meals you share, the low-budget hollywood action films you hate watch, and the unbelievable amount of patience he has for your shenanigans

basically, you two have become two peas in a pod (despite him not wanting to be in the pod in the first place but who cares he's your friend and that's all that matters)

and i genuinely believe of he were to start falling for one of his friends (aka you) it would be a very slow process, one that neither of you realize is even taking place

it would be the little things like you willingly making making the same dish two days in a row for your little meal times because he just likes it that much

maybe even leaning your head on his shoulder while you two watch those bad action films because, deep down, he loves knowing you trust him enough to feel so comfortable with him (bonus points if you end up falling asleep)

ordering him his favorite brand of loose leaf tea that he can never seem to find anywhere on store shelves

god forbid you memorize the way he prepares his tea and randomly show up with a steaming mug of it at random times of the day

as i said before, it's the little things that do it for him

but imagine doing all of those things on the. same. day.

you know he woke up extra early to help price take care of some paperwork and while he's doing that you stroll in a mug of tea

then later on when you see him for lunch he finds you made two plates of bangers and mash (sausages and mashed potatoes, it's a british thing apparently) despite having it the day before and when he asks why you just say something like, "yesterday you said you wished you could have more, figured i'd make more"

then later in the evening when everyone's retired to their rooms, you walk into his with the all too familiar box of loose-leaf tea in your hands along with a blanket

you just kinda set the box on the bedside table before dragging him to sit on the floor in front of the tv the two of you snuck into his room one night after price banned them after soap broke his and he was the one who had to clean up the mess

he totally saw you two sneak it in but never bothered to say anything because he trusts you

anyway

you flick on the tv and put on the third installment of that god awful 'sharknado' movie series you two had found out was a thing not too long ago

and all is well

until you lay your head on his shoulder and grab onto his arm as you look over his tattoos

he'll probably give you a little glance before turning his attention back to the movie, it's not uncommon for you to do things like this

but then he'll feel something cold press up against his skin and he'll look down again just to see you holding a colored marker and scribbling inside the lines of his tattoo

and as much as he wants to pull away and throw that marker to the other end of the room

he just can't bring himself to do it

not when you're pressed up against his side with your hands cradling his arm as if he was worthy of such care in the first place

obviously this night wouldn't be complete without you falling asleep against his shoulder, so that's exactly what you do

he lays you to sleep on his bed while he makes himself cozy on the floor :)

anyway cue him getting up early for his morning shower and the complete and utter shock that hits him like a truck when the marker you used the night prior to color in his tattoos doesn't wash off

he makes a bee line for his room and immediately picks up the marker you used only to find out it's sharpie

and while he knows that this would be a perfectly acceptable time for him to wake you up and chastise you for doing such a thing, he doesn't

because when he looks down at his arm he can practically feel his chest bloom with a warm, fuzzy feeling because you did that

and it's after he's stared at the colorful markings that now grace his skin does he realize he's got a small smile etched onto his face

then it hits him like a truck

he likes it because of you

he likes you

it cannot be overstated how quickly he grabs his stuff and leaves the room, not caring in the slightest that you're still wrapped up in his sheets

he doesn't do much work that day

just a lot of aimless walking around base as he tries to, in his words, get his shit together

because, in his mind, this is probably just about the stupidest thing he can do

and it's not even because he's technically your superior, that's a mess all on its own

it's the fact that either one of you could quite literally die at any given point while on a mission

and that's not even bringing up his own mountain of trust issues and insecurities

it's a mess

he's a mess

and how does he deal with this mess?

by avoiding you like the damn plague

you thought it was bad when he was trying to duck out of your pre-friendship interactions when you seemed to always be trying to find a way to bug him? think again.

he becomes practically invisible to you

his callsign isn't 'ghost' for no reason

i can honestly see it getting so bad to the point where you start to really only see him on group missions

which isn't too horrible admittedly because you always manage to squeeze in some small talk, but it's not enough

but one day, price calls the two of you into his office with laswell patiently sat waiting on a video chat over his laptop

and it's revealed that you two are being sent on a mission to gather some intel about some new terrorist group that's popped up on laswell's radar

and he just kinda sits there and accepts the fact he'll have to be paired up with you because what's he gonna do? tell laswell and price no? absolutely not

anyway

i imagine the mission going off without a hitch

i'm talking real simple, just a quick in and out before ghosts is on comms requesting an evac

that's where things go wrong

because you'll get some bullshit response like, "oh no, bad weather, can't fly like this, looks like you'll have to wait! get cozy!!"

and while you are a bit disappointed when he breaks the news, you can't help but feel a little happy because now you actually get to see and interact with simon for more than five minutes

but while you're over in your head having a small celebration over the unforeseen circumstances, simon is pretty much dreading it

he knows you know he's been avoiding you and he's 100% sure you're going to make him sit through an awkward conversation about it

and what's worse, he's certain you won't stop until he tells you why

well it's a good thing he knows how to keep his mouth shut!

at least he thought he did

because after having you ask him for the reason of his sudden avoidance of you for what he swears has to be the hundredth time, he just spits it out in a small fit of anger and annoyance

and i highly doubt he'll realize what he just said until he looks over to you after not getting a response and seeing you there with your eyes wide and jaw open

he'll definitely try to backtrack with something like, "forget what i said. you didn't hear anything."

and then your brain will finally kick in after going haywire for an unnecessarily long amount of time and you'll just kinda ask him in a small voice, "did you mean it?"

and as tempted as he is to brush you off and say no, he can't bring himself to do that

but remember, simon is still a very hurt man underneath that mask and heavy duty gear, so i can imagine him just letting out a small sigh before saying something along the lines of

"i'm sorry."

and your heart just breaks because you can practically feel the shame radiating from him as he turns himself away from you and averts his gaze to the floor

simon riley, perhaps one of the most hardened and strongest men you'll ever come to know, apologizing for the way he feels

you can't help but shuffle closer to him until you're sitting by his side

and you'll sit in silence this way for a while as he tries to ignore just how close you are while you try to find a gentle way to approach this

you're stumped

but eventually, your eyes will fall onto the floor and simon's gloved hand will come into your vision

and there's not a single thought in your mind before you're reaching out and putting your hand on top of his

the man practically malfunctions

he's sitting there, thoughts going a mile a minute as he tries to decipher what this means

but then you'll lean your head on his shoulder and he's almost startled at the way all of the noise in his head seems to just disappear

but still, he can't resist asking

"what now?"

and you'll let out a small, wistful sigh as you nuzzle your head further into his shoulder

"whatever we want."

he'll look down at you with an almost shy gaze, "and if i want you?"

and you'll interlace your fingers and punctuate it with a squeeze, "then you can have me."

and that's good enough for the both of you

at least until you get back to base

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #cod #mw2 #mw2 2022 #cod mw2 imagine #cod mw2 fanfic #task force 141 #task force 141 x reader #ghost #ghost x reader #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #i will not apologize for the length this time around #i had things to say and so i said them #bless #:)

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goodluckclove · 8 days

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Some Loose Thoughts on Queer Rep (Specifically Aspec Rep)

(Just in advance I'm going to dunk on Alastor from Hazbin Hotel like a lil' bit, as a treat. Mainly the team that made him and what he represents, but still. If that's rage bait for you, I suggest maybe dipping out now)

I have a theory that queer media needs both queer characters and queer genre characters. The difference is very important.

I think a queer character would be a character in a story about their queerness. For some reason the only two characters I could think of are the guy from Love, Simon (What was his name again?) and the protagonist from Rubyfruit Jungle, which should express the weird and complicated relationship I have with this particular archetype.

Queer stories centered around queerness are definitely needed, but at the same time I feel like we're just starting to come to terms with the desperate need for the alternative, which are queer characters in genre media that contain overarching plots larger than their sexuality. Not separate, necessarily (Their queerness certainly influences things), but just beyond. This is more accessible for a variety of artists, which is also the reason why it can be a flop or a massive success.

We get more of this than ever for gay and sapphic characters, as well as some trans folks and occasionally non-binary. It's definitely way less seen in aspec characters, and even less respected. I started thinking this way because the internet is flooded with references to fucking Alastor from Hazbin Hotel as an aroace character and - like - god, I don't get it.

Like you can have your serial killer comfort character, that's fine. But latching onto him as representation for the entire aspec community when he was only confirmed to be aroace through a reference in a livestream and the weakest joke onscreen is pretty disheartening. It definitely reads like this part of his identity was added pretty late in his character development, and by a team of people that didn't seem to consider what the response and reaction would be and how they'd handle it.

I also wish the newest aspec icon in media wasn't created by a team so adamant on encouraging shipping culture above actually respecting the identity they've decided to provide representation for. Like I see it means a lot to people to have an aroace character doing something cool in a fun TV show that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with their identity. Then there's like four other people right behind that person who really wants that person to be romantic and fuck.

And like, yeah, aroace people can do that sometimes. It's a spectrum, I know. But can't we start with a baseline representation before providing proof of fluidity?

I just think we deserve better. Like a character who in the media is established to be aspec, and people are like "great" and move on to fight robots or do magic or whatever. And the person can be morally grey, or even a total dick, but like I'd personally prefer something with a little more depth than Hot Topic genericism.

Like don't get me wrong, I'll take some sort of eldritch horror as my representation, but...make him at all horrifying? Like everyone talks about how he has Eldritch powers, which I know to mean unfathomable and maddening. But I've seen everything he does in the canon of the show and it is both incredibly fathomable and makes me feel normal and sane. Yog-Sothoth this man is not.

But yeah, I don't think there's a solution here besides more aspec artists creating aspec characters in their work. That way people can still like Alastor if they want, but he's not like the only viable option in terms of representation in the media. Let me see lovingly-crafted cool guys and dipshits and chaos goblins and little babies and True Horrors, all of whom have varying degrees of distaste or indifference towards sex and romance.

Do it. We need it. Please.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing community #asexual #aromantic #aspec #asexuality #aroace #asexual representation #authors of tumblr #hot takes i guess

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archivomeow · 2 months

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shipping aroaces + yelena belova 🏹 ♠️

!! reminder !! this is in no way to start drama, hate or anything, this is just me trying to explain, so read it, then give feedback, but be respectful or as respectful as you can be in the moment, i will be blocking trolls or people who claim aspec to be fake or those who cuss me out or are just plainly rude.

so i see this a lot… “but aros can date so i can ship this character!!!!”

and that is true, in some cases.

the thing i feel like people miss the most is:

being aromantic is a label, it mean no romantic attraction. but if a person is arospec, aka on the aromantic spectrum they can experience it (rarely / under certain circumstances etc.)

if you are aromantic, that doesn’t mean you can’t date, you obviously can, but not all aros chose to do so and both are just as valid.

aromantic as a term can be used as an umbrella term, a demiromantic can call themselves aro.

so while aros, just like all people can date and can choose to not date that doesn’t mean you get to throw that excuse around, same thing goes for QPRs but i will talk about that some other time.

i see allos throw around this excuse with Yelena Belova mainly, she is an aroace character, she has never shown interest in dating and has shown repulsion to sex. SO HOW COME YALL WRITE HER AND SHE SUDDENLY LIKES BOTH??? because well yk “aros can date” “aces can have sex”…

while both are true it literally takes away from her identity??? she is openly repulsed by sex and uninterested in romance AND THAT IS OKAY.

she doesn’t need to date, she doesn’t need a qpr either.

the only reason she is put in romantic/sexual situations is because people thirst over Florence (she is beautiful), you can write fics about her other many roles & leave the only aroace character she has played ALONE.

she is only put in QPRs by allos, because they want her to be a lesbian (even though she clearly states she is not a lesbian in the comics), so they say it’s a qpr and they get their way. she isn’t attracted to women. if the mcu will make her anything it is straight, as SHE IS NOT ATTRACTED TO WOMEN (hopefully aroace tho)…

and to aroaces who purposely disregard her preferences which are clear, idk what to say, it’s a shame that yall are so deep into amatonormativity.

++ just to add to all this “the comics aren’t the mcu”, imagine if there was an openly lesbian character and everyone just ignored it, they’re being shipped with a man, smut of them and men is created, so then the lesbian community tried to educate them, they try to explain that it is erasure and everyone just uses that argument. feels shit doesn’t it???

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slenderboo · 4 months

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putting in my two cents as an aroace hazbin fan to the whole alastor shipping debate (adding a cut below because this got long-)

before I start, it's important to remind everyone:

alastor is canonically ace and (semi)canonically aro, and that should be respected the same way we'd respect angel dust's identity as a gay man, or vaggie's as a sapphic woman.

"ace" and "aro", while also functioning as labels unto themselves, are umbrella terms for a lottt of identities. Some of which do include the ability to experience sexual and romantic attraction, in different ways and at different levels (demi, cupio, lith/lithro, grey, aro-and aceflux, the list goes on).

So, given all that, is it possible to interpret alastor as experiencing some level of romantic attraction, or sexual attraction? Of course, identities like the ones I listed above are just as valid as any other acespec and arospec identity.

So, what's the issue then? Right now, a lot of fans are using the breadth of aspec identities and experiences as a shield, to excuse them shipping him like they would an allosexual/alloromantic character.

Just to make it clear, that in itself is erasure. And I know that's a strong statement, and that there being such a broad aroace experience adds nuance to any statement you can make on that, but we have to acknowledge as a fandom that there are objectively wrong ways to handle aspec characters, both in the way we discuss them and in the way we portray them in fan works.

And before anyone says it, saying "alastor isn't real" or "fanon content won't change his canon sexuality" doesn't work when real life aspec people can't even look in a tag of a character that's supposed to represent them without seeing their identity erased. It's the way I feel attempting to engage with a lot of hazbin content, and I know a lot of my fellow aspec hazbin fans are feeling it as well.

So, what's the solution to all this? That's unfortunately kinda complicated. Everyone has a different opinion on what constitutes as erasure, what is good rep, how much benefit of the doubt we should give people, et cetera, and so everyone's solutions look different. In a way there also isn't a way to solve it, since aroace erasure is so normalized in fandom culture (not just the hazbin fandom; fandom culture as a whole) that there will always be a significant portion of fans who will ignore, erase, or otherwise deny alastor's or any other aroace character's sexuality.

So, to put my two cents on it:

My philosophy is that if you're going to ship alastor (or any aspec character for that matter), it's best to have an identity in mind for him to use as reference. For example, I think of alastor as sex-repulsed aroace, and I write him with that in mind. Whatever you pick can be a steadfast headcanon, an identity tailored to the story you want to tell, or one you want to explore in your fanwork, whether for fun or to educate yourself on it better.

What's better is that you don't even need to mention the sexuality itself in the work! Show don't tell is a great writing tool, and for alastor specifically, who canonically isn't aware of his sexuality, it works perfectly. Just simply creating with it in mind, asking yourself, "how would someone with [insert identity] experience this?" and going from there, makes a world of difference.

Just in terms of good fanfic etiquette, I'd also make sure to include it in the tags if you're posting it on ao3, just to make sure your readers know what's up and to help with filtering (I personally don't read any alastor ship fics that don't include the asexual or aromantic tag at this point). Bada bing bada boom, that's representation right there!

Since Alastor is one of very, very few ace characters in mainstream media, and even less aro characters in media period, us as a fandom creating good representation with him is really important, especially in terms of the breadth of aspec identities. We don't get much representation, so claiming he's definitively one label or another isn't productive, and hurts the community in the long run. Fanfiction is first and foremost an exploration of canon, so why not play around with what "aro" and "ace" can look like for him?

Case and point, I've seen some incredible ship fics that headcanon him as demisexual and/or demiromantic, and do a great job representing those identities. I've also seen some really good fics that portray him as sex-repulsed, and others that portray him as sex-neutral or positive. All of that is great, and again, even if it isn't directly mentioned: adding subtext, putting it in the tags, and even simply writing the fic with the sexuality in mind does wonders.

Me personally, I headcanon Alastor with the same identity as me; sex- and romance-repulsed aroace, but open to queerplatonic relationships. That doesn't mean fics that interpret him with a different aspec identity are less valid, or are interpreting him wrong. All of it is valid representation.

And that's not even getting into queerplatonic relationships, which is what I put Alastor into for my own headcanons (queerplatonic radioapple fic when). For that, please do your own research, but remember that queerplatonic relationships tend to look different for every couple. They can be poly, include kissing and physical intimacy, or look just like what most people would consider a regular friendship or regular romance.

So, can you ship aroace characters? Sure you can, as long as it isn't at the expense of their sexuality, or more accurately, the representation their sexuality gives to a historically underrepresented group.

That's pretty much it from me, please remember to support aspec fanartists and fanfic writers, and happy (early) aromantic spectrum awareness week for all my fellow arospecs!!

#not adding the aromantic or asexual tags to this #those tags shouldn't be flooded with ship discourse #so please stop doing that guys #also not joking about the queerplatonic appleradio fic #I may or may not be working on one rn but knowing my writer's block (read: seasonal depression) I won't actually finish it #their dynamic is so much fun to write let me tell you #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hellaverse

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kiwinatorwaffles · 9 months

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no but like what is up with the wider shipping community and their way of allowashing clearly aspec-coded characters. or hell. even canon confirmed aspec characters. this amanormativity shit is making me tired. does a character really need to wear a giant shirt that says “i’m asexual” or “i’m aromantic” or “i’m aroace” in all caps and flaming text to tell everyone not to ship them the same way allo characters get shipped. we are not a monolith but i know i can sure as hell say our experiences will never be the same as an allo person’s

#this post was made after i read up about what they did to jughead in riverdale #i have never read archie comics but i knew jughead for years because he was a canon aroace #and then it led me to think about my other blorbos who are also clearly aspec #who got allowashed to hell in shipping #motherfucking. ford pines. miles edgeworth. EVEN LITERALLY SAIKI KUSUO #kiwi’s calls #kiwi’s aspec posting #aspec

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good-beanswrites · 1 month

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Fe Aspec Week Day 1: Coming Out

WOO It's aspec week time!! 💜💚 To no one's surprise I'm starting off with Lukas :3 I know we have the wonderful support convo when he and Python sort of come out to each other, but I was always curious about the loose ends that it brings up -- how he comes out to/is treated by his family, the woman he's left behind, his fellow nobles, etc. This drabble doesn't really answer any of those questions sadfsadf but it's coming from that thought 😂

Father,

I am writing to you now, so soon after my previous letter, as there is something I have yet to confess. It may be difficult for you to hear, but

The sentence stops abruptly, a small dab of ink at the corner of the ‘t’ where the pen had rested a moment in contemplation.

A man sits back at his at a desk. His candle illuminates the page, displaying a few brief lines at the top. He dips his pen in ink time and time again, but the page remains mostly empty.

At first, the man believes his problem to be a lack of words. No title exists for men like him. He’s well-educated and well-connected in the army; he has an extensive vocabulary for how the upper and lower class categorizes its people. Whether it’s a scholar’s dull terminology, vulgar common language insults, or the carefully chosen phrasing of a gossiper, none of the usual descriptors fit him. All he has are the distantly connected criticisms he’d heard his whole life: “heartless,” “cold,” “detached.”

When the candle burns lower, however, he realizes the real issue. He has far too many words.

Where would he even start? Should he describe his contentment with his life here? How not one of his fellows ever brought up the lack of a woman at his arm, or how dinners with the King and Queen themselves were filled with pleasantries that never touched on his romantic endeavors? Whatever his father had been preparing for, it had never come.

Or should he begin earlier, when he was first accepted by this group of people? He wasn’t sure if he could properly convey all that he experienced on that fateful night, speaking softly with the unit’s archer – a man he’d come to call one of his truest friends. The man had heard for the first time in his life that there were others like him. He heard that they were content. They were whole.

He could go back further and describe the moment that the realization first hit him. How his father had been right in a sense. Just as he said, one day when the man was grown, he would be in the arms of another, and everything about himself would suddenly make sense. There was only one difference. He’d been forced to bury that clarity, since it wasn’t the same kind that everyone else came to.

Or should he start even further back? He could recount all little hints that haunted him across his youth. His dreams for the future never quite aligned with those of his peers. Nothing ever seemed to align. His choice of stories to read, of games to play, of jokes to make. He wouldn’t ever claim he was mistreated as a child, but everyone would agree that the signs had appeared even then.

The man sighs. Where is the beginning, when one has always been this way?

The clock strikes on the hour. It is late, and he will need to be at his sharpest tomorrow for drills and meetings. He has no more time to fret over words about his past.

The man tries a new method, and wonders what his friends may write about him. He can’t resist a dry smile. He knows that he can never, under any circumstance, allow them to exchange any correspondence with his family.

But the exercise gives him an idea.

He writes out a single statement. Then he blows out the candle and heads to his bed.

there is nothing broken about me.

Cordially,

Lukas

#fe aspec week #fe echoes #fe lukas #fire emblem echoes #fire emblem lukas #i always thought cordially meant like 'respectfully' so finding out it means 'with intense feeling/in a heartfelt way' had me ;----;#i like the idea of someone whos very eloquent and educated writing the simplest and oddest letter home and just Not Elaborating #i hope the pov worked -- i wasnt sure if it was weird doing the present-tense-no-name thing but it just started flowing? so i ran with it?#LMAO i couldnt get it to work but my original idea for this prompt was art featuring lukas right after the support convo and high off the #euphoria or self-discovery #he'd be absolutely wrecking it on the battlefield -- bloody and wild and giddy staring down the viewer with the caption 'love loses' 😂#drabbles

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yellowhollyhock · 1 month

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Any aspec headcanons for Mona and Raph? We need more aspec rep.

yesssss qpr ramona

Hmm I think. I think they're besties for a long time before it occurs to them that outside observers are interpreting their relationship as romantic. I really like your Battle Nexus headcanon about how 03 Raph meets Mona Lisa.

Oh! They bond fighting. Everything from formal spars to poke wars. Mona Lisa would start a poke war and Raph would be like 'what are we twelve' however. He cannot lose. It lasts for years. Various bets are made, and each time someone wins they end up finding out that it actually wasn't over (Raph and Mona keep making up rules in order to continue) and have to give the money back. At some point it stops being about winning and becomes a way for them to mess with everyone else.

I think in my head I am combining the Goofy Gal Improv Queen Mona Lisa 1987 with Hardcore Loyal Honorable Warrior Mona Lisa 2012. And it's a very fun mix. She will take you down with kicks and pun(che)s, the banter is part of her personal honor code, it's her way of demonstrating respect for her opponents. Which is an interesting contrast with Raph who saves his roasts for the guys he doesn't respect XD

She is also very deliberate and respectful about learning other people's cultures and boundaries, I imagine this version of her is something of an inter-dimensional traveler. She's very thoughtful about who she teases and when and for what, something Raph immediately notices and deeply respects.

Raph cooks, Mona pays when they go out.

He knits her a little hat and she is delighted, she's never accessorized much before on the planet she's from and the concept of these little cloth crafts that you wear is just fascinating to her.

Oh and they sort of discover together the words that describe their relationship. I mean like comparing experiences is part of what helps them both realize they're aspec. I see Raph as aromantic asexual, Mona as demiromantic graysexual, but at the same time I feel like they both have complex fluctuating experiences and particularly Raph doesn't find labels particularly helpful, for him personally

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #2003 raph #tmnt mona lisa #ramona #raphmona #thanks for the ask!#just my headcanons

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asexual-society · 7 months

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I needed another ace's opinion on this or I was gonna go crazy. I feel so alone.

My best friend is allo and recently started to go to therapy. His therapist told him something to incinuate that my advice about romantic relationships was less valuable/productive because "our brains work differently" because I'm ace and he isn't.

He's upset that I'm upset about it when I believe this is just benevolent aphobia. I see it the same way as someone telling a straight person not to take advice from a gay person. Am I just making a big deal out of nothing? Why is my opinion less important/applicable because I don't have the same experience as someone else?

I personally don't think an aro or ace person's advice on relationships is less valuable just because our brains work differently or our experiences are different, I mean, for most other topics, asking someone impartial for advice is completely normal, even if you take that person's advice with a pinch of salt because they don't have firsthand knowledge of the situation. I've had my opinions and advice belittled countless times and I know how hurtful it can be, and there are times when someone's opinion on a subject is totally useless because they're not informed about it, but this isn't like asking your friend who can't drive for advice how to parallel park or your American friend about British politics,, culturally and socially we are fed a LOT about relationships all the time for our whole lives, even without firsthand experience, we absorb a lot of information, and that's not even accounting for the things we have actively sought out, or the experiences of aspec people who have been in relationships.

I understand that we might not fully understand how it feels to be allo and want relationships of whatever kind in the same way, but a lot of (not all, I'll grant you) ace and aro people know as much or more about aspects of sex and romance than your average allo purely on the basis of having had to learn about it ourselves, and I think we have incredibly valuable insights into relationships that are generally overlooked by people who take for granted that everyone feels the same way about sex and romance. Maybe my confidence is unearned, but I'm still here giving advice to strangers on the internet, and people keep asking for it, so someone must think my opinion is worthwhile, and if I can't give someone the advice or help a person needs, I'll just say that. The number of allo people who have terrible relationships and then give out terrible advice because of it is crazy, like. genuinely there's some actively dangerous advice being pedaled by allos, I think on average an ace or aro person acting in good faith can give advice of a similar quality to your average allo person's.

By the therapist's same logic you can't trust them with advice about how aspec people are, in fact you can't trust them to give advice about any mental or physical illness or disability they don't experience, which is obviously not how therapy works. Tbh, I'd argue that unless a therapist is aspec themselves or has been given decent training about aspec people, which generally speaking, they aren't (although there are some good ones), anything they have to say with regards to us is even less "valuable or productive" than what an aspec person thinks about relationships.

There will always be aspec people who give terrible advice, and trust me, I have heard some terminally online or just downright ignorant takes, but I've heard just as bad, if not worse from allo people, and acting like we're the problem sucks.

~ mod key

#asks #anon #just my little rant of the day #sorry folks #asexual #mod key

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aromantic-diaries · 4 months

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I’m not entirely sure I’m aroace but I’m pretty sure and I think it just clicked for me. felt like I should share because no way in hell would I ever have realized this was probably aromantic behavior if I hadn’t had the community support and resources that I do.

over the past year I’ve had three short-lived relationships (including my first kiss and first ily) that started out great- super interested, knew em well, I made the first move.

dumped the first guy in two weeks, the second after two months, and the third after three weeks just about a half hour ago.

I just got this incredibly gross icky feeling once we were officially ‘together’ and they started returning interest in me. I want affection but only when I can initiate it, I couldn’t stand super sweet compliments and them being the sweetest cutest guys who clearly cared a lot about me. I love you or you’re perfect we’re disgusting to hear even though I know they’re supposed to be sweet. I felt like such a dick when my feelings essentially disappeared overnight and I got so viscerally uncomfortable with them. I could go days with texting them or being invested in them and their attention never wavered which I always found weird- does it not fluctuate or take a nose dive for everyone else too?

I’ve spent months at this point wondering if maybe it’s cus they’re all guys and I only like girls or other genders that I’ve never been with (possibility) or I’ve just happened to end up with the wrong people (unlikely as I knew two of them so well to the point we basically agreed we had the same thought patterns it was wild).

and after the last two breakups I haven’t felt sad because I missed the guy I’ve felt bad and sick and guilty because I know they cared about me a lot and I clearly hurt them when I wasn’t able to reciprocate. And now that I’ve thought about it more I think my ideal relationship is very queer platonic.

I want a partner I can give a title to but have it be very casual, almost like they don’t return interest in the normal sense. We can hang out and be affectionate but don’t feel the need to talk or hangout every day but they’d be your default for events or free time if you were up for it. I have something similar with a friend of mine and I’ve always loved it, nicknames and kisses while both of us were dating people romantically at the same time and the weird in between just worked neither of our partners were threatened by it and it felt great.

anyways, on the more hopeful side, now that I’ve figured these thing out for myself there’s a girl I really like that I think I’m going to ask to go to a local dance with and see if she’d be interested in my weird casual potential polyamorous relaxed aroace girlfriend idea. wish me luck and hopefully maybe some other aro sees this and goes hey they just like me fr cus Jesus this was a big revelation for me.

Good on ya for figuring things out and I wish you the best of luck in your ventures for an ideal partner! This in an interesting perspective and I always enjoy reading about other aspec people's experiences so thank you for sharing

#anon #mail time

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leikeliscomet · 6 months

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Asexual and Aromantic Representation isn't a zero sum game. There's room for everyone.

Sorry I'm so sick and tired of seeing "there's too much aroace rep" "there's too much alloace rep" posts. Aspec representation is rare for everyone because this orientation is barely recognised in mainstream media. "But I can name a few aroace/alloace characters!" And were they gifted to us because of privilege or were they made by actual aspec creatives who wanted to see themselves represented? Were all these characters' asexuality written well or falling back into damaging stereotypes? A lot of aroace characters have been written in a way where the writer has conflated asexuality and aromanticism as being the same and alloace characters are often written as someone who just doesn't have sex with their partner. Representation isn't automatically good by proxy.

There's also still a major lack of asexual representation for aces that are also lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, trans/non-binary, POC, disabled etc. To say "oh there's an aroace/alloace you've had enough" in response to a few white cishet aces in mainstream TV is extremely ignorant to the diversity of the asexual spectrum. Everyone talks about Todd from Bojack Horseman, Florence from Sex Education and Isaac from Heartstopper. But Selah Summers from Selah and the Spades? Fei Hargreeves from the Umbrella Academy? Abbi Singh from the Imperfects? They didn't get that same "groundbreaking ace representation" credit.

Amatonormativity is real, at the same time, gay aces, lesbian aces, bi aces, pan aces and more are lacking representation when it comes to queer asexual love. Arguing for less queer love representation when all forms of queer love are still stigmatised, from gay marriage still being illegal in parts of the world, to gay couples being attacked in public to censoring of gay kisses, isn't helpful at all. Nothing good has ever come out of "this marginalised group needs to stop appearing on screen so much"

And yes, aroallo representation is needed, along with every other part of the aromantic spectrum, but asexual visibility isn't causing a lack of aromantic visibility. Asexual representation isn't causing a lack of aromantic representation. We need to push for more representation not arguing for another group to have less.

Visibility =/= Privilege

#asexual #im sorry for aspec discourse i just needed to vent #asexuality #aromantic #aromanticism #aspec #aspec representation #asexual representation #aromantic representation

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c0l0re · 1 month

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It honestly infuriates me how people will say things like "being low empathy doesn't make you evil, it's okay!" and "It's okay if you do good things even if you yourself don't feel it like other people!" and "It's okay to do good things even if you don't do it the same way or for the same reasons as other people!" only to then insult and vilify people who have low empathy and thus feel little to nothing when bad things happen, or when they do good things for good causes despite not having the same emotional connection/sense of duty as others, or when someone cares about something but doesn't care "enough" or it the "right way" according to them.

Y'all are all for destigmatizing mentally ill and neurodivergent traits until they become something "undesirable" or make the person "fake" or "toxic" to you. We're doing our best with the way our brains are wired and unfortunately we can't just flip some magic switch to suddenly make ourselves "normal"

Y'all claim that you love and support low empathy people until they talk about feeling disconnected and disillusioned with bad things that have happened, then they're just monsters who don't care about anyone at all are actually dangerous and "part of the problem" even if they still do what they can whenever it's possible for them.

Y'all claim that you love and support people who do good things for reasons other than what's consider to be "good" reasons, but then antagonize and slander anyone who does genuinely good things despite feeling disconnected from the cause or whatever else.

This can even apply to other things, too. Y'all claim that you support and love aromantics, asexuals, and aplatonics, until they feel disillusioned and disconnected from even the concepts of love or whatever at all. Y'all treat repulsed, adverse, and loveless aspecs like trash because they don't experience something or don't act on their emotions in a way that you've deemed to be "normal" and it's genuinely sickening.

Y'all can talk all you want about supporting anyone who's seen as "monstrous" or "evil" or "emotionless" or whatever else in mainstream society, but until you actually confront your own biases and start practicing what you preach, you are not going to get anywhere, and you are not the ally to people like us that you think you are.

Until you learn to accept that not everyone is going to be some perfect, morally pure, completely altruistic, and endlessly giving/empathetic angel, you are not going to actually get anywhere, and you are going to keep vilifying and harming people who just happened to end up being a certain way and didn't have any say in it.

People are not inherently evil for what they do or do not feel. It's all about how they react to and act on those feelings or lack thereof. That also means you need to stop equating a lack of feeling with a lack of caring

#mental illness #mental disorders #mental health stigma #neurodivergence #low empathy #no empathy #neurodivergent stigma #saneism #ableism #arophobia #acephobia #colore speaks

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morallygay · 1 year

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🟩⬜️⬛️ Animes for aro/ace people - Part 2 ⬛️⬜️🟪

The list was getting a bit too long so I decided to make a different post.

~if you see this post as a reblog, make sure to go to the original post, chances are I edited and updated it! ;)

part 1 here

“Yofukashi No Uta” / “Call Of The Night” (13 episodes)🔻

The protagonist wants to become a vampire, but for that to happen you need to be bitten by a vampire you are in love with, and he’s aro (can be both seen as aroallo or acespec). It’s not canon canon in-universe, but like, it’s canon, that’s literally what the plot is about. It has awkward wording/takes coming from the characters sometimes but it got the spirit. I haven’t finished the manga but I’ve been told that the character’s aromance is not invalidated to the end, and the story is precisely about how he doesn’t need to be “fixed”. The show tackles amatonormativity and the value of platonic relationships :). If you can’t handle or don’t like sensual/sexual stuff though, know that it’s omnipresent.

“Shimanami Tasogare” / “Our Dreams At Dusk” (4 volumes)🔻

An LGBTQ+ manga with multiple kinds of representation, including an AAA battery (character who is agender/nonbinary and aroace). Canon and they said the word! Although they didn’t differentiate between aromantic and asexual; in my translation they used ‘asexual’ and meant it as aromantic as well I assume.

“Death Note” (37 episodes)🔻🔹

Another big one but I’ll assume you don’t know about it so, basically: So misogynistic it’s gay. But also so homophobic it’s aroace. And since it’s a psychological thriller, romance is virtually nonexistent, except for a side character annoying girl who is in LOVE with the protagonist. Protagonist who does not show any interest whatsoever in romance/sex. He’s a serial killer but #diversity win I guess. I have admittedly only read the manga once when I was 12 so I may not remember these things accurately.

“Jormungand” (12 episodes)🔻🔹

A personal fav for its eccentric and amoral vibes and characters. I see the protagonist (woman with white hair) as aroace. Problematic points: she has a weird groomer thing going on with the kid character; it’s implied that she’s teasing and she kind of does this with everyone and it’s part of her personality but it’s still uncomfortable. Also a secondary woman character has romantic feelings for her. This is a cool point but it’s also eh because it’s done in a pretty fetishistic way.

Also heads up: our main cast are arms dealer and there’s violence and war and child soldiers and it’s morally ambiguous

“Mob Psycho 100” (37 episodes + 2 OVAs)🔹

A must watch regardless. But in this context, a show about life wisdom and connection in the most fundamental human way, which makes it a very platonic show. Because of the nature of the relationships between the protagonist and the other main cast (master/‘parental’ figure, brother, intergenerational friendship), there is literally not even the place for shipping, apart from the 1 friend his age. And these platonic relationships, oh boy, are they explored and developed and heartwarming. The protagonist has an idealized crush on a girl and that’s the only romantic element there is, and it’s handled maturely and to carry the same main themes I mentioned earlier; it’s absolutely not there for the sake of being romanticized.

! Mp100 is a phenomenal show in many ways, queer representation is not one of them. it is very much incredibly cishet. warning for transmisogynistic humor.

“Kimi No Sekai Ni Koi Wa Nai” / “Is Love The Answer?” (1 volume)🔻

Another manga. It is a queer manga specifically about aromance and asexuality, following an aroace character (touch repulsed) and their experience of comphet and general compallo, feeling alienated, and then learning about this identity, finding queer community and accepting herself. It delves into the topics of labels and identity, acknowledging and embracing fluidity, vagueness, and spectrums. It actually presents specific aspec microidentities I’ve never seen acknowledged anywhere else in fiction, much less explored. It made me feel like crying and kicking my legs with glee. I won’t go say everything it talks about but I truly recommend it for anyone, not just aspec people; in general but especially if you want to learn more about the world of aspec identities. (Also not that any are reading this but I recommend it to exclusionists. Like idk how you can read this and not feel it evident that aspec people are queer)

The same author also did a manga called “Mine-kun Is Asexual” prior to this one, and wrote other things on the topics of romance, sexuality and gender identity :)

“Koisenu Futari” (="two people who can't fall in love" idk the official engish translation if there is one) (8 episodes)🔻

This is a japanese drama. I have broadened the original topic of these posts a bit but I realized that with the microscopic amount of representation we have, why would I intentionally deprive people from knowing about the existence of this show? It is specifically about aromance and asexuality, and follows 2 aroace people who decide to live together and form a queerplatonic relationship. There are many other elements to the story and it touches upon multiple aspects of the aspec experience (lol aspects aspec), starting obviously with allonormativity and amatonormativity. Also our 2 main characters are both fully aroace but the show does make the distinction between aromantic and asexual, and shows a alloromantic asexual character at one point just for that clarification.

“Last Gender” (2 volumes + 3rd and last one to be released in English in June)🔻

Similar to Shimanami Tasogare; it’s an LGBTQ+ manga. This one is centered around a sex bar which 'accepts anyone of any gender or sexuality'. It has an aroallo character, a lithromantic character, and a character who, to my understanding, would be the closest labelled as greyromantic and greysexual. That’s just for the aspec characters but there are other, particularily underrepresented, identities and kinds of people in this manga, like a pansexual person, a bigender person, polyamorous people, or ‘simply’ a gnc woman.

content warning: it’s sexually explicit. I mean the setting is literally a sex bar.

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