#no bc i’m envious at people able to do things their own way without thinking about it?

[pluvillion]

two decades in this earth, and yet i’m starting to feel like my life will be in this eternal suffering.

tho in fairness, the pandemic was a nice change of pace, at least (as much as how i hate it). sadly, not all people are on the good receiving end. facing it is tough but eh, it is what it is.

#no bc i’m envious at people able to do things their own way without thinking about it? #like they’d of something and they’ll do it without worrying about whatever consequences they’ll face? #imagine how that’d feel like eh? #i keep telling myself i’ll make it but the more i try gaslighting myself into something positive the worse it gets #good lawd am i tired

[stellaestra]

how would stray kids interact with mc in high school if they ever met? // high school au headcanons [stray kids/reader]

pairing: skz hyung line + mc [reader]

description: who would mc interact with in high school if they ever met? what kind of interactions would they have? // bulletpoints headcanons + small snippets

genre: platonic, high school au, friendship, humour, hurt/comfort

author’s note: this could be a stand alone or not, the mc is the same bodyguard/intern au!mc...it's just a "what ifs" kinda thing, fellas

p.s. some of the scenarios are based off real life events that happened to me in high school but i overly exaggerated some of them for the shit and giggles,, tell me which event actually happened to me in the askbox lmao I'm curious

pls I'm funny i swear

cw: minor swearing, just teenagers being teenagers, idiots, mention of blood (?) uhh mentions of violence (??)

unedited

// no beta read, we’ll die like men

---

bang chan

mc is a '00 liner,

she doesn't interact with her seniors pt.1

to interact with them; it would have to be a school event or a collab project between the seniors and the juniors

possibly would be approached first by chan during sports day or a school festival for something

he thought that she's a pretty decent track runner when he saw sprint during the sports day track event

after that incident, chan would greet her in the hallways or wherever if he ever comes across her

mc would always awkwardly greet him back

“hey! you’re that really fast track runner, you did great that day!” chan complimented her in the hallways. out loud.

mc prays to whoever above there that chan would stop talking so loud as she could feel her face burn when she felt eyes on her.

cue to her awkwardly smiling at him and nodding, “yep, that’s me, yes, alright, senior chan.”

chan finds her adorable ever since that first few encounters

he also found out that she hangs out with felix just as much as he does

(love rivals (for felix) arc when)

he doesn’t know who to be envious of

that mc gets to spend so much time with lix or

felix being able to spend so much time with her

the never-ending saga

(love rivals (for felix) arc turned into possible rivals to friends arc)

(okay, im joking)

their respective friends group made a running joke

about how chan and mc are love rivals for felix

(it eventually became theirs as well)

(it's funny)

once he made her go off-tangent about felix

she was really passionate about his freckles and smile

for a moment

he really did think that she has a crush on him

no surprises there tho

felix IS absolutely cute

(friends arc?? omg, all for felix, HA)

he really really finds her adorable

he could go on for days

esp her little habit of covering her mouth when she speaks

sweater paws bc he almost always sees her with a jacket on even if it was a hot day

it's like a second skin on her

he once asked her if she ever removes her jacket

“only when im on school ground or during school events like assembly, i’ll take it off, senior chan.”

“eh? don’t you feel warm underneath that during a hot day?”

“...i do remove it sometimes, i guess...but i like wearing it bc it’s comforting.”

one time chan saw her without her jacket and wears short-sleeves uniform, he really wanted to shower her in his affections n also it’s such a rare sight that he almost couldnt recognized her

“haha hey, you didn’t wore your jacket today!”

“they’re in the laundry and...today’s a hot day...unfortunately, haah.”

he once tried to ruffle her hair but found her dodging his hand so fast at breakneck speed

that he was kinda concerned

she told him that her hair hasn't been washed yet so it's dirty

but the thing is: she told him every time he tried to ruffle her hair

“you’re not letting me pat your head on purpose.”

“senior chan, i wouldn’t do such a thing.” he noticed the little teasing smile before it disappeared.

he wondered briefly if she has always been this playful and cheeky with others her age

chan is aware that she speaks formally towards him out of habit though so he lets it slide and let her take her time growing comfortable with him.

he knew she was lying but let's her be anyway

bc she's his cute little junior

---

lee minho

another case of mc's "no seniors juniors interaction"

minho’s very attractive so mc will definitely avoid him at all cost

plus, he looks intimidating to her so bye bye

to not step on any of her classmates' landmines that has the hots for him

drama isn't her thing, she already witness a handful and even got thrown into the fire as fuel before

no thank you she liked having her life in high school as peaceful as possible

mc would make her conversations with him very short n blunt

she's not gonna catch anyone's hands today, my dudes

really, she doesn’t

minho thinks of her like a small kitten that needs to be taken care of

bc of how she always scutters away from chan whenever he’s with him

if they ever interact

it would be when the juniors have the collab with their seniors

like a science fair, where the students have to come up with things to showcase

his class coincidentally collabs with her class for that particular event

he told chan about it and he have never seen chan pout and deflate like that

the only person he does that to is felix...if not, it’s jeongin.

chan sure adores this little junior other than felix huh…

then again, felix and mc does hangout a lot and so does jisung and her

so he took this chance as to know more abt her

coughs because jisung seems to be talking a lot about her coughs

(minho + mc love rivals (for jisung) arc pt. 2 when)

(mc really about to fight 2 seniors because she's stealing their respective juniors huh)

(the never-ending saga of love rivals)

he approached her inside that shared classroom for the collab event

she looked constipated when he approached her group of friends

even more so when he directly asked for name and whatnot

it kinda made him want to tease her even more now

he found out her name and what they were planning to do

heard her cursing under her breath

he decided to join their group on the whim

found out that mc is just a little shy whenever he approached her

her friends are somewhat protective of her

he got glared at by one of them once when he wanted to greet mc in the hallways

and mc kind of hid half of herself behind them

so whenever she’s on her own, he would try to approach her as slowly as possible

like. dealing with a cat and you’re a stranger trying to gain their trust

what he never will forget nor stop teasing her was about

her spinning on her heels to walk into the direction she was previously coming from

just to avoid him

he couldn't help but find it hilarious

he won her over when he brings the topic of cats wandering around their school campus

saw how her eyes lit up brightly

“the stray cats here are fun to play with, right?”

“yeah, me and friends decided to name a few of them too!”

he mentioned it to her because he saw her playing with the cats when she was waiting for someone or when she has time to play with them during recess

and the ramblings of a high schooler about cats commences

he wasn’t bothered about how much she talked

would nod along with what she says

because wow, shes really passionate about cats

that's a huge bonus for minho

and that was how minho adopted another kitten

whenever they weren’t busy with their own things, they would play with the cats together

playdate with cats <3

she would tell him that one particular grey cat was called

“this cat’s name is miss universe! they’re so cute, right?” she picked the cat up and cuddle with it, eyes sparkling with joy

“why did you guys name them that?”

“because why not?”

“fair enough point.”

and she laughs

he was glad that she stopped being so cautious around him if he was being honest

since the way chan was talking about her so affectionately made him really curious about her

casually mentions that jisung talks about her a lot

expected her to be bashful about it

but all she does was

“oh, cool, what did he say? I’m a weeb? Hah, he’s the same as I am” + "he should've said to it my face, senior minho, hmph"

so making her flustered backfired on him

poor minho

here’s your “you tried” star

mwah

so yeah, minho adopted a new cat (his little junior)

---

seo changbin

same case as the two above, unfortunately

if they do ever interact, it's short and pleasantries

mc does kinda find him intimidating to certain extent

she's not good with dealing with intimidating looking people

but when he smiles, her shoulders feel less tense when she interacts with him

thinks of him as a pretty cool senior

he made her listen to his rap once n she told him that he's so cool n that stuck with him for days

imagine a junior telling you that you're so cool with that starry-eyed expression

your ego would go off the rooftop

after that, changbin would make it out of his way to greet her in the hallways

RAP MUSIC BUDDIES???? POTENTIAL

pat her on the head occasionally

if she doesn't dodge like hell away from his hands

“why do you keep avoiding them”

“no, don’t pat me, you’re treating me like a cat”

“I’m not?” lies, ever since minho told him that she reminds him of a cat, he really thought about it more

“you have that same look minho gives me when he tries to pat me…hyung…”

“we’re really going to make you call us oppa one day, watch us”

“um, yeah, no.”

“let your cute senior pat your head!!”

“im gonna run away!”

he knows that the younger ones in their friend group do interact with her

esp felix and jisung

for innie’s circumstances, that’s different

she does comes to him every once in awhile to abuse her title of his cute little junior to get a chance to listen to a teaser of his raps or songs he composes

found out that she does like rap songs! a lot more than he thought

they became those friends who shares new songs they found out and share it with each other

even at ungodly hours like 2am in the morning

that would not stop them

“this song reminds me of you”

“hey hey hey listen to this, psst”

“This shit SLAPS, go listen or else im gonna fight you in the school hallway, coward”

he became smug about it and boast about his knowledge to 3racha

jisung complained that he thought she only listened to anime songs or soft indie songs because he saw her playlists before

changbin told them that she has other playlists that’s for more “intense and aggressive” songs

they were floored and the conversation starts like this,

“what do you mean she likes listening to yours and ours music and raps?”

“im not kidding, she does! she even showed me her playlists that were filled with rap, rock and metal songs!!”

“my little mc? likes those songs? are you sure you’re not dreaming?”

“it’s a public playlist, i even followed her playlists”

“If you’re wrong, hyung, im really gonna fight you on this! bc I KNOW her first”

“doesn’t mean that you know her BETTER”

lots of petty bickerings

chan and jisung has a big revelation about mc that day at school

(there goes mc’s little rep within their group of friends)

he did warned them to not tell her that he told them about it and

that they actually are aware of her music taste

or else

she tried to rap really fast one time, trying to rap like how he does

he had to witness her biting her tongue live

changbin would never think someone like her would have

such a vulgar language

every profanity he knows came out of her mouth

he quickly got her something to soothe her wounded tongue

after fretting over her though, he started teasing her

relentlessly

she threatened to sue him

"I'll sue you"

"with what money?"

"my 2 fucking dollars lunch money!"

"that's not enough to pay anything, not even your attorney!"

"fight me!"

he’s that older brother figure that mc would come to whenever she has no one to tell her woes to

their relationship turned out to have lots of playful banters and teasings

he gives very comforting hugs and pats

mc doesn’t want to admit it tho

well, until, changbin caught her snuggling into his hugs one fine day

“admit it, you like them, you like my hugs”

“okay, fine, i DO like them, they’re great hugs, don’t let it go to your head.”

“I KNEW IT”

“You’re so loud, shut up, hyung!”

“OH MY GOD, YOU FINALLY ADMIT TO IT, IM GONNA TELL THE WORLD-KSDFNKSDNF-”

"FUCK- I SAID, SHUSH"

rip in peace, changbin

he didn’t expect someone like her would have so much strength to smother his mouth with her hand and shut it

the more you know

curiousity killed the cat????

---

hwang hyunjin

avoidance at all cost (pt.2) despite being in the same year

why? exhibit a: he's considered very attractive in her year and that her classmates n batch mates have crushes on him

coughs one of the school princes coughs

their batch year prince

she's really gonna swerve away from him

interactions will be kept at a bare minimum

one time hyunjin n some others wanted to borrow a textbook from their class because they have forgotten theirs n he chose hers

she could feel cold sweat forming as she feels the death stare of some of her classmates

that gta [wasted] sfx whenever ur character dies

yeah that's mc

that was probably the last time she would even think about it

when he returned it back to her, he smiled at her, the really cute eye smile and she felt like she made the target on her back bigger lol

goodbye mc you've lived a good life

your friends will definitely will play never gonna give you up during your funeral (it's a promise)

jokes aside

hyunjin would probably noticed the panicked look in her eyes and wondered why

since his friends like felix and...jisung...and seungmin are like on good terms with her

he probably wondered about it a lot

borderlines on overthinking since both felix and jisung are particularly close to her

so she should know that he’s friends with them

ever since that encounter, it would come across his head whenever he saw her hanging out freely with felix or jisung or both of them

or when he come across her in the hallways

sometimes he wants to greet her but it feels like it would scare her away

esp when she looks ready to run into the opposite direction

if he ever made eye contact with her

so his plan to befriend mc has started

tried to join into the trio hangout; jisung, felix and mc

mc never did protest his presence like at all

but does occasionally look stiff when he's near her

eventually shes comfortable enough with him

but not enough to actually hang out with him alone though

that thought kind of made him feel envious towards the other boys

and a little left out

as a teenager, he has too many emotions to handle so

jisung and felilx caught the idea and told him to let her

take her time because she kinda. shy. (???)

that didn't stop him from mulling over it tho sometimes

one day he found her waiting at the bus stop

it was in the evening, she was still in her school uniform

he was kinda on an errand run too

kinda didn’t want to sit on the same bench as her

afraid that she might run away

she noticed him standing there eventually albeit very anxiously and kinda awkward

a casual greeting slipped past her lips which shocked hyunjin to his very core

he splutters back a reply

“on an errand run, errand boy?"

"huh?"

“uh, um, pretend that i didn’t say anything.”

“right, sure, but may i sit next to you, the bus seemed to be late and my legs are kinda tired.”

“oh, uh, yeah, sure, but you didn’t have to ask, y’know?”

“well, didn’t wanna scare you off…"

“it’s nothing personal, if that’s what you’re worried about,” + “it’s just. didn’t wanna step on a landmine and the girls in our batch seemed to adore you a lot and me being close to you might set off the wrong signal…?”

“that’s absurd, you’re...being unreasonable..i mean, its none of their business-!”

“i know, im sorry, my bad, it’s not your fault either, it’s not anyone’s fault, to be honest.”

for a moment, he found her reasoning to be petty and unreasonable until it finally clicks inside her head, from her point of view when he really thought it through.

“...no wait, im sorry, i think, i kinda get why when i really thought about it.”

“yeah, it’s no biggie, don’t worry, im sorry too, we’ll both get over it”

“...um, we’re friends, right?”

“...i suppose so, if you dont mind, dummy.”

a giddy smile crossed his face while mc struggles to not stare at him looking so cute like that as she coughs into her hand, avoiding eye-contact

pretty boys have too much power in their hands

and she’s one of their fallen victims towards their charms

this isn’t fair for her heart

so when the bus arrived

they sat beside each other on the bus

hyunjin did most of the chattering while mc listens

he was so glad he cleared smth up with her

if she allows it, he would definitely tried to hug her

until he remembers that one time changbin told him he almost got punch in the face by her

when he tried doing it the first time and startled her

yeah no not now

maybe sometime in the near future, a long-awaited hug would be great

(if he was honest tho, he really wanted to cry when she told him the truth)

(it felt like a heartache)

but it’s okay now though

they’re friends now (somewhat) and that’s all that matters

---

[masterlist]

#ext's masterlist #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz #stray kids #skz x y/n #stray kids x y/n #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #minho x reader #lee know x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #bang chan #lee know #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz chan #skz minho #skz changbin #skz hyunjin #stray kids au #skz au #skz headcanons #stray kids headcanons #skz high school au #high school au

[honeypirate]

This is pro hero AU. Everyone is aged up and in my mind like all 23/24

Event Masterlist

Kirishima x fem reader, best friends to lovers, smoke sesh

Summary: monthly get together with your hero friends from high school, but you’re most excited to see the man you’ve been crushing on since graduation. Friends to lovers with happy tears bc weed makes me want to cry with joy sometimes and I know that Kirishima would be so sweet if his love was reciprocated.

Warning:! It’s a little suggestive at the end!! Kiri gets a boner!! Weed makes people horknee

You put your car in park outside of Kaminari’s apartment, excited to see your friends after a long hard month. Nerves are twisting around in your belly, anxiety from being able to finally see the man you were secretly in love with.

Since the end of high school you’ve all been amazing friends, bonding in your last year over smoking weed and having a tradition that stuck even now.

Once a month you’d smoke together and have a sleepover in someone’s room(but now apartment), always rotating rooms/person who brings the weed. This month you were in charge of the drugs and Kaminari was in charge of hosting.

You knock a few times on the door and several voices yell ‘come in’ making you think of high school and bringing a smile to your face.

“Hey guys!” You say when you walk inside

“Y/n!” Kaminari yells

“Y/n’s here!” Sero says and hops from the couch to come hug you

“Who’s here?!” Shinsou shouts somewhere deeper in the apartment

“Y/n Is!” Mina says excitedly as she gets up from the couch with Hagakure who both run to hug you after Sero lets go.

“Hey y/n” Shinsou says with a head nod as he exits the kitchen

Bakugou grumbles a hello from his place on the floor, back against the couch as he plays a switch game “can we finally get this show on the road then? I’ve been stressed all damn day and looking forward to this stupid shit” you walk over to him and ruffle his hair, he had new undercut and it looked nice.

“Good to see you too Kacchan” you say and he rolls his eyes gently pushes your hand away even tho his cheeks were a little dusted in pink. Oh how you loved to tease him.

“Is Kirishima here?” You ask, hoping your voice sounds calm cool and casual

You hear some things falling down in the kitchen and the sounds of scrambling before your favorite redhead comes into the living room

“I’m right here!” He says with an embarrassed laugh before he envelops you into a big hug, pulling you to his large chest as he holds you tight. You laugh and wrap your arms around him as much as you can, burying your face in his chest and hoping when you pulled away your cheeks wouldn’t be too warm.

“Glad you could make it” he says when he lets you go and you smile “me too” you say softly, your eyes sparkling

(Not pictured, the rest of the room staring like “I swear to god if they don’t get together soon...” and bakugous envious eyes)

You reach in your bag and pull out the black glass jar you use to keep your weed in. Your thumb brushes over the golden sunshine that was on the side of the jar and you smile, remembering when Kirishima gave it to you. You pull off the rubber lid and pull out a few joints you already had made, the smell of strong weed escaping the jar and filling the space around you.

You sit on the floor beside Bakugou and Kirishima sits on your other side, legs out in front of him and one arm behind him as he leaned subtly toward you. Sero sat next to Kiri, Kaminari next, then Shinsou, Hagakure, and Mina to round out the circle all lounging on the couch.

You hand the first one to Bakugou and he snatches it, placing it in his lips as you smile, holding out a lighter and he leans forward keeping eye contact as the end lights, sending your heart into a frenzy with his smirk. He knew how hot it was and abused his power, it’s why you could never fall for him.

He takes a long inhale and holds it “that’s nice” he croaks with eyebrows raised and a smile, holding in the smoke for another moment before letting it out. He takes another hit before passing it to you, Mina sliding open the window behind the couch.

You take in a lung full of the acrid smoke and hum, your eyes closing as you hold it for a moment then let it out with a satisfied sigh. “Yeah” you say and take another hit, passing it to Kirishima who winks with a shy smile when the joint leaves your fingers.

Him on the other hand. He was handsome and adorable but he didn’t abuse it. He was a good man and what mattered most to him was helping people and being a good hero, how could you not fall in love with his kind eyes and heart? Or the way his jaw tensed when he swallowed or the way his high smile looked, the way he texts you periodically through the weeks to make sure you’re doing okay, or the way he...

you pull your gaze away from Kirishima’s profile with a shake of the head and warm embarrassed cheeks. You were feeling just a little bit high and we’re staring and zoned in to just how much you adore Kirishima and how much joy you feel when you’re around him. get it together y/n.

You make eye contact with Bakugou and he raises his eyebrows with an accusatory look and crosses his arms. You laugh softly and cover your cheeks with your hands, looking away and pretending nothing just happened. Bakugou scowls but eventually gives in to the relaxed state the weed gives him, accepting that you wanted Kiri and not him and that it was okay.

After the joint makes its way around you pull out your puff puff pass card game and shuffle them before placing them in the middle of the group, the three on the couch sinking to the floor so they could reach as the joint finds Hagakure

“Kacchan.” You say “First hit equals first card”

he rolls his eyes before leaning up and snatching the card and reading it out loud “name all the cereal brand mascots” he reads and then flicks the card back down, it spins as it flies across the circle and he chuckles when it hits Kaminari.

“Uhhh” he says as he sits up straighter, taking the joint from Hagakure and pulling a hit as he thinks “tony the tiger” he says with smoke as he exhales and takes another quick hit, handing the joint to you and you tap the ash into the top of an empty soda can as he continues.

“The leprechaun fucker. Snap crackle pop. Toucan Sam. Trix are for kids bunny.” He continues to name them all easily and you are staring at him in shock for a moment before laughing

“nice one Kacchan” you say as you take a card yourself.

You take a nice long hit with a smirk as you hold up your card that says “puff” and Kirishima laughs, taking the joint from your fingers as he leans for a card “lucky lucky y/n” he says and then looks at his card, reading as he takes a drag. “Go in a circle naming colors until someone messes up”

he chuckles and starts off by saying “blue” the game ends when Bakugou says “Skobeloff” and you laugh so hard against Kirishima’s shoulder you can’t think of any more colors.

But what you can think of is how your stomach flutters and your skin is on fire under Kirishima’s large hand resting on your back, holding you close as you both laugh together.

The game goes on for an hour and a half until all the cards are gone and everyone is just high and chill, someone is playing soft music through Alexa and all the windows and balcony doors are opened, cool night air coming up as you talk and eat snacks that were brought out earlier.

“Come with me” Kirishima says and hooks his pinky into yours when your conversation with Mina ended.

“Lead the way” you say with warm cheeks and hooded eyes as he guides you to the empty balcony.

“It’s such a nice night don’t the bugs sound beautiful?” You sigh as you lean on the railing, looking up at the moon, the bugs in the park below seeming to sing to you.

“I’ve missed you so much” he admits with a shy laugh and when you turn to look at him his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are on the floor as he scratches behind his head.

“You have?” You ask, unable to hide the happiness and smile in your voice and he looks up as you walk slowly up to him.

“So much” he says with a shaky laugh

you wrap your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes as you pull him close.

“Oh Eijiro” you say breathless into his ear, your heartbeat racing and body feeling like you’re spinning as his arms hold you tighter to him “I’ve missed you too” you admit and he sighs in sweet relief as his shoulders relax.

“I don’t want to go a month without seeing you again. You’re more to me than just a high school friend or pro hero college. Through school and now when we work together I just, I couldn’t help but catch feelings for you. Your wonderful personality and your kindness shines through every part of you and you are such a beautiful person inside and out”

He’s saying all this as he hugs you, less flustered without having to see your face and your heart is soaring. You feel your eyes well up in happy tears and you pull back, cupping his cheeks in your hands as he looks down at you with worry in your eyes.

“Y/n what's wrong?” He says and you laugh with a smile as he wipes your tears

“Eijiro,I’m sorry.” you say with a smile wiping your cheeks “Ive been in love with you since graduation and I guess it’s just overwhelming with the drugs” you say and laugh softly, your eyes burn from your makeup as you get it together.

he feels his own eyes well up with tears and he looks up with furrowed brows and eyes screwed shut trying to stop them

“Really?” He asks and his voice cracks a little

you take his hand, leading him to the couch on the balcony, sitting him down and sitting in his lap, straddling his legs and running your fingers through his hair. He sighs softly in relief, your fingers sending extra tingles down his spine with every pass through his hair.

“I love the way you treat the community like they’re your friends and family” you say and kiss his cheek “I love how you always remember the little things about me, things I never even realized I mentioned. Like when you brought me lemon iced tea” you kiss his nose and he chuckles softly, his cheeks turning pink and his eyes looking into yours as a few happy tears escape his eyes

“I love when you laugh, your nose twitches just a little bit and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen” you kiss between his eyebrows

“I love so many things about you, Eijiro. I’d love to spend as much time as it take telling you every one of them” you cup his cheek and kiss away his tears

“I love you so much” he whispers, his voice cracking again from the tears and he chuckles at it

You lean down and brush your nose against his, his eyes fluttering closed as he sighs happily “Eijiro can I kiss you?” You whisper and he nods excitedly as he cups your cheek and connects your lips.

His lips were soft, softer than you originally thought they’d be. His other hand rested in your hip and squeezes lightly as he bit your bottom lip between his sharp teeth.

You gasp softly then laugh when your body floods with tingles from his action.

Your tongue licks at his as he deepens the kiss, his hold on your hip tightening and your hands burying in his hair.

Your lips tingle in the most amazing way, your head was light and you felt like your whole world was spinning and falling through space as your tongues and lips moved in tandem.

You aren’t entirely sure how long you’ve been kissing him, your sense of passing time fucked with how high you felt, but when you leaned back you sucked in a big gasp of air with a smile and a breathless chuckle.

Your thumb runs over his bottom lip as you gaze down at him, his lips were swollen and you’re sure your lips match. Your chin felt like you got a burn from his stubble but you didn’t care.

“We should go back in before they come looking and find us sticking out tongues down each other’s throats” you say and he chuckles, his fingers carding through your hair and his hand on your hip had at some point moved to be on your back, his thumb up under your shirt with his thumb rubbing across your skin slowly as he held you pressed to his chest.

“I don’t want to” he says quietly with a chuckle

“Come on love, don’t tell me you haven’t been missing some down time with Kacchan” you say, his face brightening as you remind him about his other best friend.

“Okay maybe I want to a little bit but .. uhh” he looks away embarrassed, his cheeks flushing “I need a moment or two” he says, voice rising a few octaves at the end, hoping you understand what he’s saying.

You look at him for a beat before you feel something pressed to your thigh “Oh!” You say, your heart hitching and cheeks immediately warming “okay” you say and lean forward, kissing his cheek before getting off his lap carefully and sitting beside him on the couch.

You lace your fingers together and lay your head on his shoulder as you look up at the stars “it really is a wonderful night” he says as the cool night air blows.

You give his hand a little squeeze and sigh softly with a smile “yeah. The best one had in a while”

#kirishima fluff #ejiro kirishima x reader #kirishima x y/n #kirishima x reader #kirishima x you #bnha kirishima #tw drugs #tw suggestive

[bbugyu]

:o i dont really know much about mbti types but u seem really knowlegable >.< what about dk's mbti??

oh my god the way i got a boner from being called knowledgeable OK LETS GO I LOVE SEOKMIN SO MUCH

seokmin is an infp, which is the mediator. i actually float between this personality type and infj (the advocate, which is also what wonwoo jihoon and minghao are), so seokmin and i are very similar in a lot of ways - our differences come from our zodiac signs i think ㅠㅠ; infps are actually really rare! yet seventeen has four KDJFSK they value harmony and authenticity and they always have the best intentions - which!!! IS SO SEOKMIN!!!! he will always see the best in people and always act with the best intentions! he is kind to a fault! what a sweet baby.

ok, here’s the breakdown. under the cut. tw seokmin best boy

seokmin is so shy. he doesn’t seem it, because when he’s with svt he goes BUCK FUCKING WILD but in reality he clams up around people he’s not super comfortable around. example: that one picture of him standing with yuju from gfriend where he looks like he’s gonna shit himself kJHFJS or when he was filming his solo parts for the mama performance and he kept saying how nervous he was without the members. he’s super reserved around people he hasn’t known for forever. he even tends to be quiet on variety shows, only really doing his fun comedy bits and talking when other members prompt him (which is almost always jeonghan or seungkwan don’t get me started). infjs (like isfjs) tend to keep a very small group of friends that they are very open and seemingly extroverted with, which is why we get to see seokmin’s genuine personality a lot. he is so fully himself when he is with seventeen and i think that is so beautiful. that being said, infps also are the most social introverts. he makes friends everywhere, and genuinely cares about all of them. his excallibur castmates have said that he was such a bright loving personality on stage and behind the scenes, and he would always visit and support them even after they stopped working together! he went to plays they starred in and posted pictures with them, telling carats to go support them too. you can tell they really appreciated this, because they would return the favor and go to seventeen concerts to cheer him on!

seokmin’s intuition is no joke. he seems a little naive at times, but he is also extremely good at looking at the big picture of a situation and deciding what needs to be done, ie. when they were leaving the venue during ttt he was seemingly the only one that remembered they left a giant mess in the kitchen. that being said, infps skip over details a lot. he also is SO FUNNY like he is genuinely the FUNNIEST MEMBER in my opinion because he just understands every situation so clearly. he’s able to take something a little mundane or whatever and comment on it or react in a way that’s REALLY FUNNY like when they were driving home from ttt and mingyu said he could buy the walnut sweets JFDSKJDSF mingyu wasn’t expecting him to say yes bc they’re such a common treat and seokmin laughed at first but hten immeidately was like “oh actually yes order them” and gyu was like ??? but seokmin kept just saying “stop talking to me order the walnut sweets pls” GODD THEY’RE SO FUNNY i literally cry laugh at shit seokmin does like i don’t know how he does it he’s the funniest motherfucker i’ve ever seen.

he seems like the most understanding member of svt to me. the others are too, ofc, but seokmin’s on another level. infps also feel very deeply and genuinely. as an intuitive personality type, he is immensely empathetic, but not in the same way that jeonghan is. seokmin feels other peoples’ emotions like they’re his own. he sympathizes fully and completely, and i think he tries really hard to internalize that as to not seem so emotional all the time, but as soon as the facade cracks he starts cRYINGGG like he’s a BABY he can’t help it he just FEELS SO MUCHhhh. idk if anyone else notices this but he always repeats what is being said? i find this to be related because he is actively listening, and his way of showing is affirming with short responses every few sentences. he seems like such a good person to go to when you’re struggling and want someone to comiserate with. seungkwan is someone you go to when you need advice, but seokmin is the one you go to when you want to vent, because he’ll immediately match how you’re feeling about the situation and empathize with you.

i think seokmin also tends to take things personally? i think he’s gotten better about this in recent years and instead uses it as a joke, but you can tell it still bothers him sometimes ㅠㅠ like, okay, so seokmin posted that picture for seungkwan’s birthday and said something along the lines of “do you remember when we went out to have fun and fought? sorry i couldn’t be better” etc so in boo’s birthday live he explained the situation because it was resolved nicely. he said that the two of them went kayaking with jeonghan (which, btw, booseokhan are literally married and i am the most spoiled carat ever) and got in a little disagreement about something menial, and seungkwan thought it was resolved quickly, but afterwards jeonghan was driving them and seokmin put on a song and boo was like “oh what kind of song is this?” as a joke, but seokmin took it personally and got sulky. but then him and jeonghan danced to anysong and honestly who can blame them. it seems like every time he gets in a fight with other members, he thinks about how he doesn’t want it to tear them apart, so no matter how mad he is, he tries to find a way to resolve it. like with the gray bag incident JDHFKJHF he said that he thought if he didn’t pick up the bag, mingyu might hit him. he was mad and thought he was in the right, but he didn’t want the argument to escalate, so he did something he didn’t want to end it where it was. also, when jeonghan went live during seokmin’s live, saying “those who want to watch dokyeom watch him, those who want to watch this watch this,” and seokmin got all sulky about carats saying they wanted to see what jeonghan was up to. he laughed and said he was kidding, but then he was like “i’m not fun anyways.” whiCH leads us to...

infps have chronic inferiority complexes, but they aren’t envious people, so it manifests in just being immensely self critical. seokmin genuinely believes he isn’t handsome. or a good singer. like. what the fuck is that all about. i get genuinely angry when i think about this. i could talk about how fucking WRONG he is but this is just supposed to be a personality analysis so i’ll just mention that i talked about why i think he’s the perfect man alive in another ask! check that out if you want JKFHKSDF he always has negative things to say about himself but only positives to say about others. which makes me wanna fight. he also is maybe too idealistic??? like i said before, he will always see the best in other people, and it leads the rest of the members to genuinely worry about him. they’re worried that if they’re not there to take care of him, he’ll end up getting taken advantage of by someone. they don’t want him to get scammed ㅠㅠ

some other aspects of infp personalities that i think suit seokmin well but i’m literally braindead and cannot write more of this: open minded, passionate, determined, and loyal.

i would marry seokmin in an instant.

#YEAAAAA LETS FUCKINGGG GOOOOO #i love him so much #sunshine #ask #anon #svt hc

[luthien-t]

Resurfaced Memories. chapter one.

Loki x Female reader

warning: swearing, use of tobacco, angst slightly

Summary: Being the goddess of Victory, Sigyn. You Devoted your eternal love to Loki, but ever since his reveal of being the Jotun, Odin decides to separate you both to prevent all chances of him seizing the throne. Casted -More like banished- to Midgard with no memories of your previous life, you believe you are the same as the ones around you, the midgardians. You gave yourself the name Y/n. With plenty of help and guidance you finally have a life, what will it be of Loki when he finds you during his trips with his brother? 

word count: 1.6K+

(Im going to pretend that Thanos NEVER happened, so loki 2012 never happened -the avenger did happen tho, just not bc of loki- loki is on good terms with them, him and thor come visit every once and a while, thank u thank u)

A/N: Tell me what you think! Send me a message if you want to be in the taglist and thank youu! Happy readingg

1945, New York.

You are walking, where? You don’t know, you don’t recognise half of the things you pass. People are dressed differently than you, looking down at your gown, it was muddy and damaged, your hair was out of place and your bare feet cannot handle any more of the wet mud you’ve been walking on, it was raining, heavy. You find a house with the lights turned on and walked towards it. Your mind was spiralling with thoughts, unsure of what happened or where you’ve been before, you knock on the door once, tears start to dwell in your eyes, you can’t deny how terrified and confused you are. Knocking again on the door, you were greeted by a woman, a shotgun in her hand earning a gasp from you.

“Who are you and what are you doing on my porch?!” She had the gun aimed directly towards you, as soon as she noticed your tears she put down the gun, scanning you from head to toe, a frown appearing on her face as she noticed the ripped and muddied clothes before pulling you in and looking around outside the house, trying to find any sign of danger. You stood behind her, mouth dry, your brain can’t even comprehend the situation you are in, you are trying so hard to remember but all you get is headache.

“Darling, are you safe?” She locked the door before turning to look at you, concern visible in her face and you only shrug, words won’t come out, almost like you have forgotten how to think or use them. She walked to the living room behind you, telling you to follow her as she grabbed a blanket to wrap around you. “What is your name?” She asks, quietly. You look up at her, trying to remember, your eyes moving around and closing them as if you will remember, but nothing comes to mind. Growing frustrated a sob escapes and your body shakes, she frowns and sits down on the couch in front of you. “Have a seat, sweet heart.” She said in a soothing voice, you sit down and violently wipe your tears before looking down at your hands resting on your knees. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you.” You hear yourself say, although it came out through your gasps and broken sobs. She shook her head and leaned forward. “Nonsense, as long as you’re here, you are safe. No one is going to hurt you” She rested a hand on your knee, leaning her head down to look at your face. 

But that is the thing, you don’t even know if there is anyone or or anything, you can’t remember where you were or how you got here, your eyes locked to the woman in front of you and you nod. “I don’t remember anything” Thats the only thing you are sure of, you don’t remember. 

“Parents? Family? Friends? Anyone I can call?” She asks slowly and you shake your head. “I don’t remember anything, I swear.” Your body begins to shake again and she tightens the blanket around you, trying to give you some form of security. “That’s alright, we will figure this out.” She smiles softly. “I’m Linda, Linda Johnson.” She sits back and watches you, unsure of how to handle your situation. You nod. “I’m-“ You want to say, want to know your name, but your mind won’t cooperate with you whatsoever, your tears appearing again and you sigh. “I don’t know.” You say and look up at her, a frown printed on your face. 

She was wearing a plain white shirt and jeans, her hair was orange and she appeared to be younger than you could imagine. She tried to have a conversation with you, talking about her past in simple details, she used to work with the Armed forces. “You don’t look like you live here.”she said then told you that you are currently in New York in the united states, she is about 28 years old, lives alone ever since she left her job. You wanted to interact with her and tell about yourself but your mind won’t budge one bit. 

“I will send papers about you, maybe a family or a friend will recognise you and call. We will check up with a doctor tomorrow to see if there is any thing they can do” She reassured you, all you can simply do is nod and thank her. 

1947, New York.

It has been two years since you found yourself in New York, you’ve gotten used to the way things work around here. Living with Linda was making everything easier for you, everyday you learnt something new from her. A couple of months into your first interaction, she decided to give you a name. 

“You’re not going to be cramped up in this house all day long, you can help me and I can help you,” She started, “It has been 3 months since I put the posters up about you, but we have to see every outcome.” She was starting to worry, she wondered if you even had a family around here. “How does y/n sound?” She said and you smiled wide at her. “I love it” You say and repeat the name, it was simple and easy to remember.

After a year or so, you started to have a life here, you also learnt the reason why Linda left her job, she talked about how a scientist named Abraham Erskine tested a chemical on her, she felt unsafe and had to leave. 

“There was no effect, I didn’t feel a thing, he called it the super-soldier serum, I was there to help when he first started working on it. Which is why he tested on me, when nothing happened to me he realised that the serum needed more development, but I couldn’t risk my life for some bullshitted serum” She says as she lights her cigarette and you nod. “So you’re still the same? No effects?” You ask, stirring a cup of tea in your hand and she shakes her head. “Oh no, honey, I had some reaction, my wounds heal faster and I look like im 20 when I’m actually 47, I can run fast, the super strength ingredient was apparently the only thing missing, but I had to get out or else he would’ve kept testing and trying.” You nod again and take a sip from your cup. 

“For all we know I might live past the normal human age” she chuckled and you smile. You wonder how old you are, the doctors who checked up on you all gave you the same answer. “Our machines are not that upgraded and we could only assume that you are in your twenties.” They were all amazed at how your cells regenerate quickly and how immune you are to diseases despite not knowing what a vaccine is. 

Your days always passed quickly with nothing to do but help Linda in her house, you found a new passion towards gardening and reading, you spent your free time reading every book Linda had and sometimes you’d go to the library and read the books there, you enjoyed norse mythology the most and absorbed every knowledge you could have cramped up inside your mind. 

Back in Asgard.

Loki spent the last two year, alone. Yes, he had his brother and his friends, but no one was able fill the gap that you left. He wondered if he ever treated you wrong for you to leave so easily, without a goodbye or a letter, his thoughts taking over him. He mostly spent his awakening hours in the library, sometimes in the garden under your favourite tree, hoping maybe one day you will return with an explanation. 

“Still waiting, brother?” Thor said, looking down at Loki who was sitting under that wretched tree he loved dearly. 

“That is none of your concern, Thor.” He replied as he flipped the page of the book he pretended to be reading, Thor knew him more than anyone, he was the only one who was able to see through his lies ever since you left. 

“She will return, don’t fret, Loki. Everyone was envious of the love you two had for eac-“ 

“I would rather not talk about her, thank you very much.” He shut his book and looked up at his brother. Thor only chuckled and sat down next to him, anger started to coarse through Lokis veins, How dare he sit where my beloved sat before him!

“Father is as distraught as you are, you know.” Thor looked at him with amusement in his eyes, trying to calm his brother down. “She was the only one keeping you from causing all this trouble!” This time, Thor laughed and Loki looked away. “Father loves to pretend, Thor, you should know this by now.” He crossed his arm and remembered the last time Odin mentioned her.

“She forced heimdall to open the Bifront, Loki, she succeeded at treason. I would not want a criminal roaming this castle or this realm.” Odin told him calmly, Loki was drowning in his own guilt and pain that he was unable to see the lie presented in front of him.

“This is her home! What will happen of her if she is denied of returning to her own realm!” Loki protested, taking a step closer to Odin. 

“I will not command Heimdall to bring her back, she may have left on her own accord but she will not return so easily! This is final.” His father stood up, his staff slamming down on the floor, Loki fought the anger and tears from appearing and left without another word. 

Odin watched as Loki left and whispered. “One day you will understand.” 

#Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson x you #loki odison x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #Loki Laufeyson x Reader #loki laufeyson x you #loki layfeyson x reader

[dikiyvter]

23 & 31? :eye: for either or both

Of course aid anything 4 u <3

Uncommon Questions [ accepting ]

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

For Gio: Envy is... kind of a scale of ugliness for Gio, to be honest. First and foremost his envy is typically not something ugly; It's typically something that turns more into a hopeful longing other than any sort of truly resentful behavior. Just because he wants what someone else has doesn't mean that he needs to take it from them necessarily; the world is not a pie to be split among it's inhabitants. He views the world as an endless wealth, and if he wants something someone else has, all he has to do is work to get it himself. Ultimately his longing to be human and to take a quiet role in human society spawns from envy of the lives that humans lead.

... And then there's the far uglier envy. Gio is a rather childish individual who experiences emotions very strongly; In part this is subconscious acting, and in part it's genuine truth; He's really never been good at things regarding emotions primarily because he's never been taught a whole lot in regards to control of ones emotions or ways to manage them. He's a bit... emotionally stunted but more in the 'seems like an erratic mood swing-y mess because he feels very strongly' sense and less, you know, [gestures at Baal and Zhongli]. There is thus always a chance that when Gio becomes envious of something, his first reaction is that of intense resentment towards whoever it is that has what he doesn't- This is partially true even for his love of humanity. Even though he starts off with the thought of "this is beautiful" it was still interlaced with a lot of bitter resentment that he would never really have that; Coming to terms with his worldview is what got rid of that. But it's a bit harder to have a mentality of 'the world isn't a pie; someone having a bigger slice than me doesn't mean i can't have more if i want it' when its... say...

A person whom you love whose fallen for another or is having all of their time taken up by them.

For Riga: ...Riga gets a much shorter paragraph and for that I apologize, but I have a lot more thoughts regarding Gio on this subject considering that lil clowns got a lot of conflictions and nuance to ramble about. Riga, on the other hand, tends to be far more simplistic in the things he is feeling and how he is feeling them; though this isn't to say he feels any less strongly or erratically than Gio does.

Rigatello typically feels envy as a genuinely ugly awful emotion that typically results not just in resentment but in a very, very intense form of frustration. A major part of his character is that he is someone who wants very little, but the few things he does want are things he perceives more as needs; Case in point being he doesn't perceive wanting Gio to care about him as being a want, he sees it as a need, and when your needs are denied you become... what? Angry. Frustrated. Depressed. Envy turns him violent, because why should others have what's rightfully his? Why are others entitled to the few things he truly needs? Why is he not deserving of these things? There's a tangible cycle to a lot of Rigatellos emotions, and it's that he is confronted with something ( or someone ) he wants; He becomes reliant, he thinks he needs them ( using gio as an example; He cannot imagine who he is without Gio nearby. He cannot imagine himself in the hierarchy that is set between them both and Dottore without Gio there, because Gio has always been the one to provide a release of tension, even if the relationship the two of them shared was at times very far from healthy; The change of something he sees as being integral to his identity and his place in his little corner of society is something that throws him VERY badly; Rigatello is someone very afraid of any meaningful change because the fear of what comes next and that change leading to potential failure is one that haunts him ) ; They move away from him, and he panics, because he has very little and thus clings desperately to what few things he has; Cue the cycle of seeing that which he 'needs' with someone else, being angry, being frustrated, falling down the rabbit hole of wondering why he isn't worthy, arriving at depression, resparking that frustration, and... repeat.

A lot of his envy spawns almost purely from a place of this frustration-depression loop of wondering why he isn't good enough-- something that ties in heavily with the way he was 'raised', where threats of being scrapped were thrown freely, and any failure could potentially result in his literal destruction.

Wait this wound up being longer than Gios. Whoops.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Okay here's where we ease into me being able to make coherent sentences again bc i'm not bound purely by my muses emotions <3

For Gio, It would be Venti, in more ways than one. First he had technically met Barbatos. The ideal Barbatos gifted to Mondstadt that rubbed off on the freshly-created and quite impressionable Gio; It was Mondstadt and their talk of freedom that lit the little fire that eventually turned into Gio pursuing his autonomy and humanity. Then was the archon; Barbatos gave his vision to him, and without that Gio never would have managed to escape Dottore, and if he didn't currently have it he wouldn't have been able to evade capture for this long. It also served as a constant reminder of Mondstadts ideals -- And not just that, but the special shape that the vision takes has always been a symbol that although Snezhnaya was his home-- Mondstadt was where he belonged. Then came Venti; Someone who made him feel welcomed in Mondstadt when he was initially very nervous about being there. He and Venti became dear friends ( possibly more ) and now that's someone he looks forward to every time he's on his way back to Mondstadt. The city truly feels like home to him now, and that's mostly because of Venti-- and even if his friend doesn't wish to be seen as Barbatos the archon, Gio cannot help the appreciation he feels for those previous actions, nor for the general ideals that Venti / Barbatos inhabit.

For Riga, that would be Lio, no contest. It.. it would take me ten years to explain all of Rigatellos feelings towards Lio there's so much shit at play they mesh so fucking well together their traumas and mentalities are such similar echoes, Lio is literally the only person in the world that Rigatello has felt genuine love and affection for and not in some way panicked and tried to burn the bridge before it could burn him; He feels genuinely safe and happy with Lio, and the fear that constantly haunts him is eased in their presence; He trusts not just Lio but himself, the fear he typically fears when he touches others is gone because they trust him so thoroughly that in the midst of their love it's hard to be afraid of himself. He feels for once that he can be something that protects instead of something that exclusively does damage; He feels cared for, wanted, loved, when all his life he's felt rejected and constantly on the brink of destruction. Where he once was told his wants and thoughts don't matter he has now found someone who cares very much for what he wants and what he thinks and FUCK I have a lot of thoughts about these two.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Oh god, here's another thing I can't fully explain.

For Gio: Immensely. Gios current mentality is essentially that if he just closes his eyes and refuses to think about it then he doesn't have to deal with his flaws, and if anyone points them out he can just get mad about it and avoid them until he dies because he does. not. want. to. think. about. it. He HATES feeling bad, he hates feeling negatively about himself, he doesn't... know how to genuinely change things about himself; And I think that. That itself can be very much shown in how he treats the fact that he's not human? A person? Yes, he's a fully sentient person with his own thoughts and expressions and free will, a human? Not exactly. He's made out of metal and circuitry and artificial materials, and this is simply a factual statement, its not opinion; But he almost treats it like it is. He sees this idealized version of humanity that he wishes to be a part of but he cannot fathom how he can be apart of it if the core thing about himself isn't changed, but its NOT something he can change; Instead of accepting that, however, and still going on with his goal to pursue his autonomy and humanity despite this, Gio would... honestly rather stick his fingers in his ears and go "lalala" because he doesn't really have the toolset to mentally deal with the contradiction of "I want to be human but I can't". He perceives a need to change that isn't there, and instead of trying to address it he ignores it entirely in hopes that... it'll just stop being an issue that he needs to address with himself at some point. The same mentality applies to a lot of his flaws. Does he know hes being avoidant of his problems? Does he know that it's going to cause more issues in the future? He does. But he can't even address it with himself because it makes him feel bad, let alone with someone else who could actually provide him with skills that he needs to change his behaviors and mentality.

For Riga: Okay he genuinely gets a shorter paragraph this time because in short? Rigatello doesn't care. Admittedly he kind of wears his flaws on his sleeve. He's a "says it right on the tin" kind of guy most of the time, where he's typically mostly open about the less positive parts of himself-- If not exaggerating them as a means of keeping people away. There are of course the flaws that he hides due to them stemming from traumas, and his general desire to hide all things relating to his personal thoughts and feelings-- But this in and of itself could be perceived as a flaw, though one very unexplored considering Lio is his first close relationship with another person where he's been in any form open about his own thoughts and feelings, away from the influence of Dottore or the Fatui.

Rigatello does have... slightly less healthy perception of what counts as flaws in himself, though, such as having his own thoughts and emotions. He perceives his traumas as weakness, and weakness is a flaw, to him-- So too, then, are his traumas. He's not sensitive about this in the sense that Gio is where he's willfully ignoring something he's doing wrong; Riga doesn't... know that this isn't a good mentality. He.

Riga is kind of hard to explain this regard because of how severely impacted Rigatello is by the traumas hes endured, the people he was 'raised' by, and the current lifestyle that he leads. His emotional understanding is extremely limited and always has been, and I'm not entirely sure how to put it in coherent wording; Because typically when I try to talk about Riga and emotions it devolves into word vomit because his thoughts are just... nonsense screaming pain mush that he doesn't know how to cope with so he tells himself to toughen up, shoves it in the closet, and goes on with his day until he can lay down at night and have a meltdown--

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Honestly? The general rule of thumb is that I don't typically write people that I myself would get along with, if only because I know way too much about my own characters and their flaws? When. I look at people that I get along with, its primarily people who are patient enough to deal with my memory issues and my general lets say... low iq, to be nice. They're mostly laid back people who don't give too much of a shit one way or the other, but are friendly and fun to talk to because they have interesting ideas to contribute to a conversation, give room for others to contribute, and don't mind a bit of chaos when things inevitably devolve.

When I look at the characters I write... They all have some sort of flaw that directly contradicts the core things I typically find in someone I get along well with?

Gio is someone who I think I could get along with for a while; But inevitably his flaws, his distress regarding those flaws, and his subsequent refusal to acknowledge them in any meaningful form would inevitably stress me out and it would start to get tiring.

Bluntly put Riga is scary and I feel like I'd be stressed out 24/7 that I'm going to irritate him... And his general mindset of emphasizing his own flaws to push people away would just make me angry and I'd probably wind up letting him isolate himself because, having once been someone who was very much that way, I no longer deal well with that degree of self-pitying behavior b/c it pisses me off.

Outside of this blog, Ku Shen and I could probably get along pretty well, but I think the issue is that he's a massive introvert who would go Weeks in-between texting, and I have the memory of a goldfish and i'd inevitably find myself in a position where i have a text from him that's been waiting for me to answer for the past week and I'm too nervous to reply because I feel awkward being like 'hi i have untreated adhd sorry', and then suddenly three months has passed and I just can never talk to this man again.

...I'm going to include my Morax on here as well even though it's blog isn't super active; Look I might actually be able to chill with Morax if only because we vibe in either 'i am listening to you ramble for 3 straight hours with occasional questions or commentary' or 'we have both been dead fucking silent for the past 3 hours' and these are both my ideal ways to exist in someone elses presence. Also I feel like it'd wanna do fun shit and likes going on walks or smth. 10/10 I think I could get along with Morax.

H) What trait do you admire most?

Ah fuck okay. Uh. For Gio... I admire his optimism and hope. I consider myself to be a generally hopeful person but I'm not typically the kind of like... ~ * direct action * ~ person, and Gio VERY MUCH IS in most regards. He's generally super fucking ambitious and if he WANTS something he will GET IT and you cannot STOP HIM and I just wish I had that level of

I. Dedication II. Energy III. Optimism in actually completing the goal

For Riga? I guess it would be his general tenacity and endurance. He goes through. A lot of shit. Constantly. And he just keeps trudging on forward without pause. He does what he needs to do, and if you get in the way of him and what he needs to get done, then he'll make you fucking regret it. Top tier shit 10/10 good for him.

#❄ ⤚ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴊᴏᴋᴇs ( ooc. ) ⇾ #❄ ⤚ ᴛᴏss ᴀ ᴍᴏʀᴀ ( inbox. ) ⇾ #oh... my fucking god this is a long post im so sorry

[eulevis]

⟨ ZETHPHAN SMITH-GNEIST. CIS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, LEVI HARRIS is actually a descendent of A P O L L O. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-THREE year old AUDIO PRODUCTION MAJOR from MANCHESTER, UK has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite KIND-HEARTED & CHAOTIC.

hi hi !! my name is sunny, and this is ur local Dumb of Ass levi harris . i’m so happy to be back here with y’all omg.............

s  t  a  t  i  s  t  i  c  s  

full  name ,  nicknames  :  levi william harris  ,  harris,   evie

age  ,  dob  ,  zodiac :  twenty -  three  , july 4  ,  cancer

hometown  :  manchester, england

gender  ,  pronouns :  cismale  , he / him

orientation  :  bisexual , demiromantic

height :  6′3″

occupation  :  student / aspiring musician / record store clerk 

language(s)  spoken  :  english  -  fluent   ,   french  -  fluent   ,   greek  -  fluent

similar  characters  :  marty mcfly  (  back to the future  )  ,  jack dawson (  titanic )  ,  troy barnes  (  community  )  ,  george weasley   (  harry potter  )  ,  jake peralta  (  brooklyn nine-nine  )  ,  spike spiegel  (  cowboy bebop  )  ,  christopher turk  (  scrubs  )

b  a  c  k  g  r  o  u  n  d

tw: death ment.

born in manchester, england to victor and clara harris, it was always obvious that levi had a tough act to follow. his older brother, elijah, was the brains of the two. perfect grades, a wide roster of extracurriculars, and he was even nice.

literally, there was no reason to hate this guy.

levi, on the other hand, was creative. his schoolwork wasn’t stellar, but where he lacked in logic, he made up for in making people laugh and writing half-way decent songs on his guitar or piano.

it wasn’t that levi minded being in his brother’s shadow, he just couldn’t help but feel hurt whenever they’d sit at the dinner table together and the only topic of discussion would be eli this or eli that. all that being said, he got along better with his brothers than he ever did with his parents.

elijah’s death was sudden and tragic. he was twenty-four when he passed, levi being twelve. levi doesn’t like talking about it much, and it’s arguably one of the few things he’s closed off about

finding out that he was born out of wedlock didn’t do much to make things easier, either. he’d first met apollo after his brother’s funeral, which was terrible timing, in his mind. it practically tore his parents apart, having divorced only two years after the news hit.

the fallout with his family was a given to him. along with his brother’s death and his real father’s identity, it was as if a bright spotlight was suddenly shone on his life, and his parents were right there to scrutinize.... everything about him.

needless to say, he left the minute he was able to.

was eonia the plan ?? no, california was the plan, where he wanted to persue his career in music. however, to appease his mother and keep things ‘realistic’ for his future, he decided to go to school, where he’s currently studying audio production.

he works on his own music on the side when he doesn’t have a shift at fireside records. he’s also the president of the songwriting club & a member of the drama club !!

p  e  r  s  o  n  a  l  i  t  y

as stated before, he’s... dumb of ass

really nice, really kind, but loud and chaotic type of beat . the type to go hang out on the roof of literally any building by himself but also loves a good social gathering

not gonna lie, tough to get his attention romantically . u could flirt with him and he’ll chalk it up to u being nice . considers everyone a Friend

english boi innit, if u mock his accent it will upset him, but he just brushes it off bc he rlly thinks his feelings don’t matter when it comes to ‘small stuff’

a good friend !! goes with the flow, but will defend the people he cares about in a heartbeat

talks w his hands . gestures wildly

CANNOT and WILL NOT sit still for gods sake . he gets so distracted so easily

h  a  b  i  t  s

swearing |  fingernail  chewing  | slouching  |  slurring  |  drinking |  smoking  |  drugs | impulse  decisions |  obsessive  phone  checking  |  bad  time  management |  slang  |  poor grammar  |  overworking  |  slacking  off |  over  sleeping | under sleeping |  skin picking |  poor  eye  contact  |  lying | rambling | skipping  breakfast | junk  food  |  self  criticism |  procrastinating |  day  dreaming |  forgetful  |  envious  |  jealous |  gossiper |  drama  whore |  secret  teller |  skipping  class  |  spitting  | lip  licking | lip  chewing |  drinking  from  the  carton |  yelling  |  too  much  internet  |  poor  hygiene  |  impatient | hot headed |  biased  | complaining |  scab  picking  |  buzzfeed |  cheek  biting |  teeth  gnashing  |  shoplifting  | scamming  |  speeding |  hair  pulling |  large  ego |  exaggerating  | fidgeting |  free  loading  |  littering  |  one  -  upping  | whining |  borrowing  without  returning  |  unnecessary  aggression |  plagiarism  |  copying  |  glaring  | spacing  out | ignoring  |  over  critical  | messy |  hateful  |  overly  prideful

#euintro #i. ｢ musings & isms. ｣ #heheheheheh

[moonb-eam]

ok i just saw the p&p confession ask and i could not resist: so if eliott was so unsure about if lucas would read his letter, how did he feel when lucas came to arbrenne? what was his pov during that dinner when lucas tried to make him smile and all? and also, why(i know why but i need his thoughts) did he cry when lucas said he loved him too? was he not expecting the kiss bc he seemed confused about lucas saying he'll keep the jacket? anyway i love love love your writing!!!

ahh thank you love!! 💛💛

so, let’s see...

(this got a bit long so i put it under the cut)

Eliott had no idea whether Lucas read his letter or not, and it weighed on him, nearly as much as the thought that Eliott may very well never see him again weighed on him.

He hates the possibility that the letter will remain unopened, and that Lucas will forever hold this impression of Eliott in his mind that is sour and warped - an impression that was cultivated on Charles’ persuasive nature and Eliott’s own foolishness.

He tries to make peace with it, that the letter was his last chance to explain himself to Lucas, and as the days pass: spring slipping into summer, fading to fall, hardening to winter, and returning to first blossom of spring once again, Eliott tries to accept that Lucas will now exist only as a memory to him. A distant dream just out of his reach, a star that he can only ever admire from the surface of the Earth.

He doesn’t have faith in magic and fate like he used to as a child. He’s not hoping for any divine intervention that will point their twisting paths back together, but then.

There’s a warm, sunny day when Eliott returns home early from his trip to Paris, when he surprises Daphné at her piano, and in the midst of spinning them both in a circles, both of them laughing, he hears a faint gasp, notices a flash of brilliant blue in the gap of the open door.

And there, Eliott is wondering if he needs to start believing in magic and fate and all manner of things unexplainable again, because he knows those eyes.

Eliott would know those eyes anywhere.

His chase after Lucas is a bit ridiculous, his subsequent awkwardness embarrassing, but he cannot be blamed for his own lack of decorum, not when he’s standing before Lucas on the steps, watching the way the sunlight kisses his skin.

He’s here. He’s at Eliott’s home.

What are you doing here? Eliott wants to ask. Did I conjure you from thought? From dream?

Did you read it?

Lucas gives a hasty explanation - he’s travelling with friends around Loire, admiring the castles, and they came for a tour, as Madeleine claimed the house was open for tours.

Eliott takes all of this in stride. He knows that people are curious about Arbrenne, knows that Madeleine is always eager to show of the house she works so tirelessly to run, and knows that, often when he’s away, she will show these people around, taking them through the sculpture gallery, the garden, the formal dining room.

But that is people. People who Eliott may never meet, who wander the halls his family built, admiring the architecture. People. Not him. Not Lucas.

Lucas, who is shy with Eliott, in a way that feels oddly incongruous to the image of him Eliott has in his mind: brash and loud, with a tongue like a whip. This Lucas stares everywhere except at Eliott, while Eliott can stare at little except him. This Lucas has his hands clasped neatly in front of himself. He gives stilted and abrupt answers, and it worries Eliott. It makes him think he’s making Lucas uncomfortable.

Maybe he didn’t read it.

Or maybe he did read it, and now he doesn’t want to be near you.

Except he is there. Here. Right in front of Eliott, as mesmerizing as he’s ever been, and Eliott must not have a sliver of self-preservation left because he’s asking Lucas to stay, trying to invite him for tea, trying to do anything to keep him there, to stop him from disappearing on the spring wind like a secret uttered between lovers.

The fragility of Eliott’s invitation, however, is unnecessary. Because Lucas’ friends arrive, and with them, an instant  feeling of camaraderie Eliott did not expect.

Basile Savary and Arthur Broussard. They have an infectious energy about them, an unselfconsciousness that Eliott is a bit envious of. They’re loud and they seem - or at least Mr. Savary does - to speak without considering their words, and Eliott is fond of them immediately.

Eliott invites them all for dinner, because the notion of their dining room being filled with laughter all night is a pleasant one, and because Eliott is sure the Daphné will be endlessly amused by all three of them together.

It’s only then, once Mr. Savary and Mr. Broussard have accepted as Lucas watches on with an indiscernible expression, that Eliott realizes he chased after Lucas without re-buttoning his shirt, and it is with as much dignity as possible that Eliott scurries away from them, clumsy fingers fumbling against the thick material.

Daphné, of course, teases him mercilessly for it.

“Look at the state of you,” she says with a laugh, tying up Eliott’s cravat for him while Eliott sits on the arm of the sofa, pouting. “Running after his with your neck all bare.” She shakes her head. “It’s a basic level of seduction, but it is still seduction, and for that, I commend you.”

“I’m not trying to seduce him,” Eliott complains, ignoring it when Daphné lets out another laugh. “I’m trying to be his friend.”

Daphné pauses, looking up to meet Eliott’s eyes. There’s a soft turn to her mouth, a caring, gentle expression, that makes her look just like their mother. “But you love him, don’t you?”

Eliott sighs, lowering his eyes to his knees. “Yes.”

“So, you want to be more than his friend.” She says it as if it’s the simplest thing in the entire world. As if it could be as simple as Eliott says, Lucas, I want to be everything to you. As if he hasn’t already tried that.

“I don’t think he wants that from me,” Eliott says quietly, and Daphné nudges him under his chin, forcing him to look up and meet her eyes.

“Then he’s a fool.”

“But-”

Daphné shakes her head. “You’re the best person I know in this world, Eliott. And if he can’t see that, then he doesn’t deserve you.” The conviction in her voice, is strong, sure, and it’s almost enough to make Eliott believe her words as if they’re his own, the way Dr. Daucet tells him to speak to himself whenever he falls into a cavern of self-doubt.

I am deserving of good things.

I am deserving of happiness.

I am deserving of love.

Sometimes, when he says these things out loud, he almost believes them too.

“You’re right,” he tells Daphné and she grins, smacking a wet kiss to his cheek and running a hand through his hair.

“Now,” she says seriously, “we have to make you look presentable.” She hums, considering. “Presentable, but in a rogue-ish sort of way.”

“Daphy,” Eliott says, just as seriously. “I don’t think I know what that means.”

They eat dinner together, all of them, including a man named Herman, who has the most wonderfully entertaining stories Eliott has ever heard. They eat together, and it’s perfect, the way they are all able to come together. It’s perfect, because Eliott sits across from Lucas the entire meal, and he gets to watch as Lucas’ shyness morph into something else: something that’s still sweet, but a bit bolder, shades of the Lucas that Eliott has seen in ballrooms: quick and clever and so funny that Eliott nearly snorts wine into his nose from laughing.

He glances up, hoping no one saw him, except there’s Lucas, smiling at him from across the table as though there’s a private joke they’re both in on.

(And well, Eliott supposes there is.)

The weight of Lucas’ gaze is utterly intoxicating.

Eliott feels himself melt under it like sugar under his tongue.

Daphné won’t stop nudging her knee against his under the table, but Eliott barely notices. He’s consumed by a thought. Not even a thought, but a word. One word that encompasses an entire ocean of meaning.

Eliott feels Lucas’ gaze on himself and the word comes, arresting and gorgeous and hopeful: maybe.

Now, as far as Eliott feelings in the field scene, I’ve touched on that a little bit here.

But the best way I can explain it is like this:

Something happens, and it’s something you’ve been dreaming of for so long that it feels like memory as it unfolds in front of you, and it takes a moment for you to realize that no, this is real. This is not me hoping, this is something happening to me right now. And it’s like, the happiness inside of you is too much to contain. Your heart is a comet. Your soul is a sunrise. Your hands are the wings of a morning dove, but at the same time, you are so wholly, utterly yourself. You are at home in confines of yourself, infinite in your limitations. You are loved. And you love. And you are loved.

That is what Eliott feels, standing in that dew-fresh field as Lucas confesses to him.

That’s why he cries.

#asks #anon #p&p au #thank you darling!! #i hope you like this 💛💛💛 #i was reading it back and i had a moment where i was like: #do i even make sense anymore or do i just spout random sap about gazes and love #and i’m still not sure what the answer is asdfjsjdj

[johns-prince]

I need two parts to explain about Paul and Stu. This is 1/2. I think people don't understand that while yes, Paul himself admit he was jealous of John's friendship with Stu, because they were older and considered themselves too cool for Paul. Stuart ( people fail to mention but you can read his letters online) enjoyed putting Paul down saying he was not cool, he was too young/lame, not artistic enough, desperate for John's attention and honestly encouraged Paul's jealousy. John was a bit of[1/2

[2/2] John was a bit of a dick to Paul too, the typical 'in public i say you are not that cool, needy and i'm with the cool guys' and in private needing Paul and wanting Paul to be the closest to him. I love John but it's very obvious he hurt Paul during that time. It was specially bad bcs Paul disliked the fact Stuart put no efforts in improving his bass and didn't take serious, skipping rehearsals, gigs to be with Astrid. But remember: Paul was the one John asked to go to Paris with him paying

Oh no, I know. I’ve read SOMEWHERE though I’m not sure I reblogged it [stupid git] actually describing Stu as someone who enjoyed antagonizing Paul, teasing him, almost rubbing it in his face, how much John enjoyed him and liked hanging out with him so much. 

It wasn’t as much as them being older, as it was because Stu was the same age as John [they had met in art college] that sort of feels like you’re gonna be given second place because suddenly your friend has friends his OWN AGE now, who are artsy and creative and blah blah blah...

“WHEN HE [SUTCLIFFE] CAME INTO THE BAND, AROUND CHRISTMAS OF 1959, WE WERE A LITTLE JEALOUS OF HIM; IT WAS SOMETHING I DIDN’T DEAL WITH VERY WELL. WE WERE ALWAYS SLIGHTLY JEALOUS OF JOHN’S OTHER FRIENDSHIPS. HE WAS THE OLDER FELLOW; IT WAS JUST THE WAY IT WAS. WHEN STUART CAME IN, IT FELT AS IF HE WAS TAKING THE POSITION AWAY FROM GEORGE AND ME. WE HAD TO TAKE A BIT OF A BACK SEAT.“ - Paul, from the Anthology.

Today, every time Paul talks about his feelings for John, he never put himself in the first place, he always has to involve other people into it. Examples: every time he says that he loves John, he always ends up saying “WE loved John, me and george..” there always must be someone else so that he is not alone and doesn’t expose himself too much. When it comes to jealousy, it’s the same. Every time he mentions his jealousy towards Stuart, it’s always “we” “me and george”, when George literally gave zero fucks about Stuart. [source: @mclennonwasreal ]

and I don’t doubt John sort of gave Paul and George shit for being the youngsters, especially if Stu was both egging him on and starting it. Though remember, John wasn’t a bully, nor did he try to be a bully. So I seriously doubt he meant anything he said, especially if it was out of temperamental emotions. I want to assume John probably thought Stu was just, taking the piss out on Paul, you know, as boys do with each other. Honestly, I think this time around John was probably the more oblivious, with Paul trying his hardest not to show he’s jealous/envious because Paul isn’t as open as John is about things like that, but Stu perhaps catching on that Paul is jealous/envious, and finds it both amusing and annoying. John was truly stuck in the middle. 

And apparently Stu didn’t even want to be in the band, at all, he was actually forced too as they simply needed another member to go to Hamburg. So of course the guy didn’t give a shit to begin with-- so I don’t blame Paul for being annoyed with him for basically slagging off his duties to the band and all that, because Paul was passionate about the music and the band, just like John was. 

Which is why technically, Paul really had no reason to be envious/jealous, or afraid of losing his place besides John. Stu was into art, and John loved art yes-- but Stu wasn’t into music like John was. Paul was really the only person who ever understood John when it came to his love for music and creating music. 

John and Paul not only shared the same passion for music and had the same talent in writing songs that none else had around them, and they also formed a huge bond after Julia died, cause they both knew what it meant to lose a mother when you’re so young.

Stuart was creative and charming, and had a bohemian vision of life John was attracted to. With Stuart John shared his love for art and literature, but with Paul John shared his entire world and life. [source: @mclennonwasreal ]

In the end, John would always choose Paul over Stu, it’s just, you know, John could be a downright bastard, and maybe he did strut around with Stu to get under Paul’s skin, who knows? John wasn’t stupid, he might have caught on too, just never voiced it. 

This quote makes me laugh because I think it shows a clever, indirect way Paul was able to express a bit of his jealous/envy towards Stu without being too obvious what exactly he was jealous/envious about:

“Paul had always felt himself in competition with Stu for John’s attention, even though their respective friendships with John were on entirely different levels. With his omnivorous musical talent, he was already a far better bass player than Stu could ever hope to be—and also at least as good a drummer as Pete Best. Onstage at the Cavern, he had once been heard to shout at Stu and Pete, “You may look like James Dean and you may look like Jeff Chandler, but you’re both crap!”— John Lennon:  The Life by Philip Norman (pg. 237). [x]

So yeah, in the end, John still chose Paul over everyone else. Stu was a great friend, someone in which John could also connect to on some level-- but he wasn’t Paul, and he’d never be on the same plane as Paul when it came to John’s affections.

#questionsquestionsquestions #stu sutcliffe #mclennon

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #280

“this is the place in our mind with a crooked crown / we came to execute its own perfect shutdown”

Do you have a strong local accent? No. Do you prefer green or red grapes? Red, but either is fine so long as they’re crisp. Can you stand on your hands unassisted? pffff Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door? Pizza guy. How old were you when you last went trick or treating? No idea. Have you ever been bobbing for apples? ”No. That’s a gross game lol you’re dipping your head and mouth into water other people are dipping their head and mouth into.” <<<< This. What’s your most expensive piece of clothing? No clue. What’s the last thing you took a picture of? Guys I actually took a selfie bc for once in my goddamn life, I felt really pretty with the makeup Summer did on me. She's working towards a degree in cosmetology and is so talented with it. What’s the last thing you drew a picture of? A meerkat pup. Have you ever been on a pogo stick? Omg, yes. I got one for I think Christmas one year as a kid and I got SO into it. I learned how to do it really well. Can you down a pint (of anything) in one? Probably not without throwing up. Have you ever been banned from a public place? No. Have you ever been in a newspaper? A couple times, I think. I know once in elementary school for when I was in chorus; we went somewhere for a small Christmas show. Then I believe I was in it for another school thing? Idr. What football team do you support? I don’t care for football or sports in general. What did you want to be when you grew up? My phases included paleontologist, vet, movie director, author, game designer, aaaand I know I’m forgetting one. But my current and long-term goal has been to become a photographer. Being an artist as a free time “job” has always been an aspiration, too. Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes? In school, yeah. How often do you buy new clothes? Very rarely. Usually just around Christmas or my birthday from gift cards I get. Are you reliable? In some ways yes, in other ways no. Are you proud of yourself? No. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be? If she’s ended up happy. Do you hold grudges? Nah. Do you decorate the outside of your house for Christmas? Mom does pretty much last minute, but only sometimes when looking at the past few years. Can you solve sudoku puzzles? Sure, they’re fun. What’s the most unusual conversation you've ever had? Who knows. Are you much of a gambler? Not at all. I don’t fuck around with money, especially when just $5 makes you feel great. Have you ever been to Disneyland? I’ve been to Disney World. Do you sing in the shower? Very rarely. Almost never now that I don’t play music while I’m in there. As a child did you ever suck your thumb or fingers? I mean probably? I do know I loved my pacifier and was SO upset when Mom’s doctor or someone playfully told me I was gonna have to give it up because my upcoming baby sister would want to steal it, and guess what? Nicole never fucking used a pacifier so I was tilted lmao. What time do you usually go to bed? Lol BRO it can be as early as 7 PM on bad depression days to as late as like, 2-3 AM. I’d say the average time is like… 9:30. What's your favorite animal? MEERKATS hngggggggggggggggg Have you ever been in marching band? No. Do you have any enemies? No? At least I don’t consider anyone to be. Have you ever been a cheerleader? As a kid, Mom wanted me to so I could do something with my sisters, who were actually interested in cheerleading. She certainly didn’t force me to or anything, I just agreed to it despite not being into it. We were with this Christian sports group for a long time doing various sports all the while being taught lessons in Christlikeness. I’ve actually got warm memories of it Did you ever date anyone on the football team? No. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No, not that I’m against the idea tho. The plushy would just have to be very special to me and also comfortable to hold. How many consecutive days have you ever missed of school? I missed an entire week when I learned about Mom’s cancer. I could barely function. With how much school stressed me, I would NOT have managed. Have you ever been pregnant? No, not in my to-do list. When was the last time you wanted to speak out, but couldn’t? I’m sure it was recently over Facebook; most times, I keep my mouth shut over political things on there that might get me fired up because I’m afraid of confrontation. Are fingerless gloves awesome? I love them. Wore them daily in high school. I still have some of my favorites, though I’m doubtful they still fit my hands… Would you rather be cannibalistic or die in the wilderness? Okay so I’m gonna actually go kinda in-detail, so the squeamish be warned. Realistically, I think I’d choose to die. ESPECIALLY if I was the one expected to kill another person; then, there’s no question. I wouldn’t be able to do it either if I knew the person. If it was some stranger someone else killed and cooked, I don’t know with absolute certainty; starvation really can make animals out of people. I do know for sure I’d vomit. I far more heavily lean into still preferring to die, because I just believe some things aren’t worth living after they’ve been committed. I’d hate myself. I’d rather die feeling clean of conscience. Would you survive on a deserted island? Hell no. Have you dyed your hair eccentric colors in the past? Yeah, I want to do it far more often… What size drink do you usually get at fast food restaurants? Medium, sometimes small. What do you think is the best thing in life? Love, both platonic and romantic. Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? We sold our previous dog over Craigslist, and I sold my iguana there as well. I know Mom has used eBay and Amazon, but idk for what. Have you ever seen an animal give birth? Have you ever had a pet give birth before? I’ve seen old pet cats give birth many times. What is something you want to try to accomplish within the next year? I want a job that I’m content with and can mentally handle. Oh, and I REALLY want to make strong progress on recovering from the muscle atrophy in my legs. What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? I have no clue; I’m not that adventurous with pizza or food in general. If you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? GOTHIC AS A MOTHERFUCKER WELCOME TO THE GOTDAMN ADDAMS FAMILY. What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? My cat. :’) How often do you wear tights? Ew, never. Has there ever been anything you’ve become interested in much later than other people? I guess Instagram, but only as a viewer. I don’t have a personal one, just for my photography that I only rarely post. Have you ever had a veggie burger? Yeah, during my vegetarian streak. Burger King’s really aren’t that bad so long as the patty is made well. Do you like candles? Yeah, sure. When was the last time you wore a sports bra? Forever ago when I was doing Wii Fit. Where did you get the shirt you’re currently wearing? I think Hot Topic? It’s an oversized Umbreon shirt. Who last messaged you on Facebook? My friend Summer when we were planning our lil witch photoshoot w/ friends. Who last walked you home? lol you don’t just have someone “walk you home” here. Bundles of homes are way too far and in-between for reasonable walking distance. Did you make any new friends lately? If so, what are their names and how did you meet them? Not really recently, no. Would you rather see your favorite band/artist in concert with 2 other people or have a free $20,000 shopping spree to Walmart? Seeing Ozzy with my mom would be a DREAM, but to be realistic, I’d take the shopping spree pretty damn quickly. $20k? That would do WONDERS for us, especially as we’re about to move into a new place. When was the last time you threw up and why did you? A long time ago when I started a new medication. Do you want revenge on the person who has hurt you the most? … I’m gonna be REAL honest. For the most part, no. But ngl there are times I’m like “I’m gonna work on getting back in shape and become H O T” like a petty bitch lmao this is embarrassing to admit. Has anyone ever claimed that you saved their life? Yes. Did you ever have that near-drowning experience? No. Have you ever performed on stage? For dance, yes, but I never did a solo. Are you a jealous person? Not jealous (usually), but I’ve come to realize I’m a pretty envious piece of shit. Morning person or night person? I’m in my best mood in the morning because I have the “it’s a fresh start” ideology. Then I repeat exactly what I did the day before. :^) Have you ever written a poem for someone? Numerous times. Do you meditate? No, but I wish I could without it only causing more stress. Do you like cranberries that they serve for Thanksgiving? EW I hate cranberries. What don't you understand that frustrates you? Finances. Do you plan on going to college? I’ve tried college three times and dropped out each time. I’m done trying with school. Do you believe the governments hide technology and information from the public? AbsoFUCKINGlutely. Which is your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales! What horror fiction character scares you the most? What’s the name of the villain in the Scream series? Ghostface? I don’t feel like looking it up, but he TERRIFIED me as a kid, and I still think he’s mega creepy. Were you part of the Brownies/Cubs/Scouts/Guides etc? I was in Girl Scouts. Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink? No. Do you have any family secrets? Don’t think so. Do you often read your horoscope? Never. They’re bullshit. Have you ever had a proper Tarot reading? No; also bullshit. Have you ever milked a cow? No. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? They’ve always scared me because I’m afraid of throwing up. Now with how dizzy I get, I absolutely refuse to try one because I WILL faint with all the movement. What’s your favorite sportswear brand? idc Who’s your favorite superhero? Does Deadpool count? Who’s your favorite villain/baddie? If we’re still in the comics/superhero universe, the Joker. Have you ever won a giant-sized cuddly toy from a fair? No. What would you say is your favorite album of all time? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne. I fucking adore it; it was my introduction to metal, and still after all this time, every track S L A P S. I deadass played that CD so much that it scratches at a few points. Do you dislike hairy people? lol fuck this question. I’m guessing you’re asking if I find them attractive and not as if people I “dislike” them, but in both cases, it’s no. We’re mammals, who the fuck cares how hairy you are. Do you like your own name? I actually do really like my name. My first one, anyway. Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement? NOPE. Want one? You’re gonna have to find someone else willing to, my man. How long has your longest ever phone call been? No less than two hours, but I know more. I have three instances in particular where I talked with either friends or Jason for SO long. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Hell no. What is your family Christmas like? Nicole comes here so she and I open presents with Mom, then we spend the day at my older sister’s to be with the kids. We also try to squeeze visiting Dad in there the same day, but sometimes it has to be a different one. If you met a genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count) Just three is hard… but #1 is indisputably world peace, and then uhhhh the end of poverty and maybe the cure for cancer. I’d have a super hard time picking a third; so many things matter to me. Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face? No, not in my plans. Do you have any strange body things? Well, define “strange,” I guess? Nothing like, really strange. What fairy tale character would you most associate with? Can I be Snow White and attract cute critters like moths to a flame? Also I would 100% take a Good apple. If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing? It would depend on the person and our bond, really. Is there a cherished song between us? What is our relationship like? There’s no umbrella song I can think of. Is your dad an embarrassing dancer? GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! My sister’s wedding, okay? Father/daughter dance? He actually has MOVES and it was incredible man, never gonna forget that. What if any unusual objects have you swallowed? Nothing, I think. If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went? Hell naw, man. There are plenty of great, affordable places in all categories. I could be a millionaire and you’d still see my ass in McDonald’s ordering a burger and fries lmao. Have you ever owned a slinky? My sisters and I had multiple as kids; those were d o p e. Teenage parents, good, bad, or indifferent? An AWFUL idea. A teenager is physically, most likely financially, and mentally unprepared to raise a child properly. It can seriously affect the kid, and of course the parent. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken? I’m unsure. Pirate downloads, good or bad? It’s bad… yet plenty (myself included) have/do do it. Democracy, good or bad? Good. It’s very important to me that rule should come from the people’s majority versus a small coalition of rich guys. While the majority is not always right, it seems like the best option to me. Communism, good or bad? Okay so to be totally honest I actually don’t entirely understand what communism outlines. Like I just read multiple definitions and small articles and I’m still kinda like “????”, though judging by the countries listed as those governed by communism, I would guess it’s bad? Have you ever been electrocuted? On an electric fence, but it wasn’t too bad. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender? Yeah. The war in Iraq, good or bad? Get the fuck out of it. To start with, I’m a pretty fierce pacifist, and just… killing and killing and killing for YEARS is so goddamn pointless and is just a massacre. The war in Afganistan, good or bad? jfc ^ Have you ever appeared on YouTube? LET’S NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS lmfao Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef? No,, but that’d be dope. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you prefer male or female singers voices? ”Their gender doesn’t matter, but their talent does.” <<<< Do you have a list of things to do before your ‘x’ years old? Goals should not be judged by age. I’m bad at this and have to remind myself of it a lot. A goal is a goal regardless of a number. Celebrate for *you*. Are you proud, comfortable or ashamed of your body? Very very much ashamed. Do you know html? Super poorly. Have you ever flown first class? lol hunny What are better, violins or pianos? Violins. How old is your oldest blanket? As old as me. My baby blanket is stored somewhere. Do you take enough vacations? lol hell no. I’ve maybe gone on three vacations in my entire life. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? Yup. Then one time I was recovering from a wicked stomach virus but went to Olive Garden anyway lol. I was fine though, and it’s actually a sweet memory because Jason (he worked there at the time) got the staff to do the whole “happy birthday” thing. I got a bombin’ brownie. Who is your favorite person? Sara and my mom. What do you do to stay healthy? lol you assume I’m healthy. What is your favorite form of exercise? Swimming. Do you like going to church? I never did. As a kid, I would cry when/if Mom decided we were going to mass after Sunday school lmao. It’s always been boring and too long to me, even when I was religious. Have you ever fallen asleep during a sermon? Probably as a kid. Do you like to pray for others? No. I don’t believe anyone hears them or will intervene somehow if I ask anyway. Have you ever witnessed a miracle? No. I don’t think I believe in those anyway. Have you ever been the recipient of a miracle? Definitely not. How did you or whoever come up with the name(s) for your pet(s)? I thought “Roman” was a majestic name for a male cat, and Venus has the coloration that the planet does. Who did you last walk a dog with? Sara and I walked Buster the last time I was there. It was windy as SHIT so we didn’t get far because my ass was absolutely freezing, all the while Sara was used to it. Ride bikes with? Wow, good question. I haven’t ridden a bike in many, many years. Hold hands with? My friend Summer did yesterday when she was trying to reassure me of something. For what reason did you last high five someone? Ryder and Aubree each caught Pokemon in Pokemon GO. :’’’’) I was watching them in the car while my sister/their mom was doing something at work, and they wanted to play it; they’ve come to learn that between my phone and DS, I’m the Pokemon provider, lol. I was the proudest fucking aunt ever bc they did SO GOOD after getting the hang of throwing the ball like Y’ALL. When Ash came back to the car, I gave ‘em each high fives before getting back in. What color and type is your vehicle? Don’t have my own car. Looking to upgrade or add any time soon? I doubt I’ll have my own soon. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Like, décor or stuffed animals, things like that? Not the actual living creature? Easily meerkats, holy shit do I have a collection. What do you use to wash your dishes? Gain soap. Last thing you measured? Uhhh idk. Last thing you weighed? Myself. Last song you danced to? *shrug* What do you remember from your dream last night? I just remember it was a nightmare about Dad being angry. How old were you when you got your first credit card? Lol I don’t have one. Do you talk to your parent(s) [almost] every day? Mom, yes. Dad, no, because we don’t live together. What does your shampoo and conditioner smell like? I just started using a Dove brand shampoo targeting dandruff, so I don’t think it has a specific smell. I don’t use conditioner, just adds grease to your hair, plus mine is short anyway. Last person to tell you that you smell good? Idk. Last person you told that they smell good? I also don’t know. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I’ve never touched it. Last person you ran into unexpectedly? Ummm idr. How many plants can you see right now? There’re none in my room. Last compliment you received on your appearance? HA On your character/personality? That I was a loving sister. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? N/A Who have you hugged in the past month? My mom, Summer, sisters, niece and nephew, Dad… Newest musical discovery? 3TEETH is great. Like, I'm obsessed. Their cover of “Pumped Up Kicks” snagged my attention, despite actually being iffy about it at first. Guess what I’m listening to this minute lmao. Last thing you cleaned? A cup. What exactly do you carry around all your stuff in? A purse. What do you carry around, typically? Phone, keys, wallet, hand sanitizer, and my iPod are items of note. Where is your newest scar? It’s on the palm of my left hand from Roman playing with me. Where is your oldest scar? Idk. Last thing you disposed of? The milk carton. What was the last picture someone sent you? Mom sent me a gif from Hocus Pocus to fit the witch photoshoot Summer, her friend, and I did. Did you hear a siren today? No. What do you typically drink? I would rather not pretend I tend to drink soda lmao Last bad news you heard? My aunt’s brother committed suicide a couple days ago. Last good news you heard? I don’t really know. How far away is the closest cinema from your house? It’s like, 15-ish minutes away. Have you ever been to the emergency room? Many times. Are you one of those people who can’t go without their morning coffee? Y’all know me and coffee. But in place, I have my morning Mountain Dew, rip in fucking pieces. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No, though I’m honestly curious what I’d look like. Do you know the story of how your parents met? If so, tell me? They were coworkers; that’s all I know. What is your favorite Chinese food? I love pork fried rice. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my Mom. I live around 20 minutes or so away from Dad. What was the last hot food you ate? I’m assuming you mean spicy as opposed to just hot as in temperature. In that case, probably hot wings. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. Describe your current position: I’m lying down in bed, just kinda perked up by my two pillows. Have you used a microwave today? Yes; I had a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl. Do you prefer going out for coffee or brewing your own? N/A Have you consumed caffeine today? If so, in what form? yikes- Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? Not that I know of. Have you killed a bug this week? Yes; we’re dealing with a lovely mix of gnats and fleas. What was the first food you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. Or maybe pancakes with Mom’s assistance. Idr. Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? No. How many email accounts do you have? Two. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I like my mom to be with me. How long is your average shower? 15 minutes, maybe? It depends on the routine I feel like doing. When’s the last time you had a headache? Yesterday. What woke you up this morning? I think I woke up naturally? A rare occasion nowadays. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Summer, yesterday.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

[katsutomos]

hello, i’m kosmo (she/her) and i’m v excited to be here hehehe! thank u for having me! ;; also i didn’t realise that both kosmo and tomo end the with the same letters & now i wanna d*e but oh well pls ignore that! (: anyw, i’m here introduce TOMO!! there’s probably some stuff i left out here but it ended up having a word count of almost 2.5k so i’m just going to stop myself while i’m ahead! i’ll finish off my stats & bio pages soon and then i’ll try to think up some plots but here’s all this for now!

(tw: suicide mention, brief drug mentions)

BASIC STATS

NAME / tomo katsumura; his full name is tomohiko but nobody calls him that except his mum & grandparents like literally everybody else knows him as tomo NICKNAMES / technically, tomo IS a nickname but he’s so used it that not using a nickname with him is :knife emoji: -- also katsutomo but that one’s more of fan-title-nickname rather than one he actually uses (as much as he came up with it himself tweeting it out like ‘you guys can call me katsutomo from now on if you like ^^’ before changing all his handles to that exact name). other than that, he’s a bit iffy about nicknames. he likes them if HE came up with them but giving him a nickname is usually Yikes City (unless he decides it’s cute and lets u do it, i guess) AGE & DOB / twenty-three & 6th november 1995 BIRTHPLACE / LA, USA ETHNICITY / japanese OCCUPATION / actor! he dabbles in modelling but it’s more of an ‘i got asked to model this thing bc i’m famous and they’re paying me (:’ type deal than it being something he’s actually personally into. whereas acting is his PASSION.

EARLY LIFE

to start with, let’s talk about his parents; his dad, born and raised in america, was an actor who eventually made a move into directing but ultimately committed suicide at age 38 & his mother, born and raised in japan, is a socialite who had started off as a teen idol in the 80s. his parents had also divorced when tomo was still young, a few years before his dad’s death, so he uses his mother’s surname. tomo does not get on with her but, thanks to the sense of guilt she’s raised into him, he can’t bring himself to cut her out of his life completely. 

basically, she’s got hang ups about the way her idol career ended so she kind of pushed tomo into the spotlight (which was fine for him because he wanted to act) but she grew envious of him after he got out of his teens and doesn’t like the decisions he makes. it’s a mutual issue. they mostly don’t get on because they can’t see eye to eye or really speak to each other at length without arguing.

his mum actually wanted him to break into acting when he was about nine because he’d already taken an interest in it by then. because her career had ended early, she took the approach of ‘he won’t be cute forever, what if we wait too long and he loses his chance?’ but his father, who had his own issues with the industry, strongly disagreed. this disagreement was one small contributing factor for their divorce; they had plenty of other issues as well but this didn’t help. their compromise was that tomo could wait until he was in his teens and this deal was mostly held up because tomo thought it was wrong to break a promise with a dead guy.

to be clear though, he’d probably have issues with his dad too if he were still alive (and he’s not exactly super fond of him as it is; he doesn’t hate him but he doesn’t like being asked about being his son). he was kind of a shit husband and, if it weren’t for the fact he didn’t see tomo as often as he’d like, he’d probably be a pretty distant father as well. his work was pretty much his main priority and he had a lot of personal issues that he took out on other people.

tomo grew up in LA for the most part but also spent a lot of time in japan, mostly jumping between osaka, where his mother’s family lived, and tokyo, where his mother’s friends and connections & his father’s extended family lived. the family stopped travelling quite as much after his father’s death and tomo’s reaching high school age. he grew up bilingual.

CAREER

he started acting professional when he was 16, mostly with a few smaller tv roles but he had good connections and was able to get a small but still substantial role in the film directed by a friend of his dad. his big break came at age 18 when he landed a leaded a role in the main cast of high school drama. it was exciting at first, being on tv and being famous, but he hated both the show and his character so the whole thing got tired fast. he wasn’t allowed to quick so he went out of his way to get himself fired. there’s a whole story behind that but i’ll leave that for the bio hehehe! (he wanted his character to get killed off bc he thought it’d be fun to act out but they wouldn’t let him do that ): boooo)

one of his biggest issues with the tv show was that he didn’t like being sold as a product / character that wasn’t anything like him. he hated being shown off as this squeaky clean teen heartthrob type and not being allowed to have his own emotions & tastes. he found it mentally exhausting and, since then, he’s had a lot of issues dealing with the contrast between how he is as a person and how he’s seen by the media. he tries not to admit it but he’s terrified of being swallowed up by what other people think of of him and losing track of himself in the process. it’s made him a little paranoid.

since then, he’s avoided tv as much as possible. he prefers working on films in general but he finds the idea of playing the same character for too long incredibly unappealing. he enjoys taking on new roles and absorbing himself in that character & sometimes to the point of bordering on obsession so playing the same role not only plays into his fears of people seeing him as someone he’s not (i.e; whatever character it is) but he’s also scared of seeing HIMSELF the wrong way. he needs the separation.

tomo likes working on indie films or more artistic/niche studio films most of all. the promotion cycle isn’t as intensive and the characters tend to appeal to him more. he has appeared in a few blockbuster-type films but mostly because his bosses have pushed him into it or he’s had to taken on a multiple film contract with a studio in order to land a role he really wanted. (he once got int trouble for calling his own character in a blockbuster a ‘dumb bitch’ on twitter)

the bratpack article had a pretty heavy impact on him. it kinda just spoke to all of his worst fears of not really being a Real Person or being Sold A Certain Way. he wanted to get away from it without having to actually stop working because it’s the one thing that really keeps him stable. his eventual means of escape was a role in a japanese film. he’s been living in japan since then, having moved there to specifically hunt out a film to work on, to get used to the japanese industry/prepare himself and then get to filming. he’s come to milan straight from tokyo, not having seen any of the other brats in person during that time, but he’s had time to relax. sort of. 

PERSONALITY

for the most part, tomo’s a friendly and energetic guy! (living up to his name a lil bit here bc tomo can mean ‘friend’ in japanese hehehe) when he’s at his best, he’s great company. he likes to stand out in a crowd, has a winning smile and enjoys a little bit of attention but also knows when to step back and look out for other people. he likes to play as hard as he works. the trouble is that, when things aren’t going well and he’s distressed, he tends to collapse in on himself. behaviour that seemed playful before looks straight up stupid and reckless instead. he’ll avoid attention but get frustrated because he craves it and do more reckless shit for attention. yet he’s pretty good at pretending shit’s fine, he’s still weirdly positive for a guy who feels all messed up — maybe he gets away with it because he’s a good actor. tomo has good days and bad days but there’s little warning as to which is which. it wasn’t always this way; it’s like something has broken his spirit. (i copied this from my app but asdghgsdf)

that’s why his archetype is The Contradiction,,,bc he doesn’t make any fuckin sense, woooeee! he’s this very bouncy, upbeat person and he likes having fun but he’s not really a very positive person in terms of outlook. he’s too high energy! his general vibe is everything’s going to shit but i’m going to have a good time anyway :D

actually, on that note...he IS :D

he doesn’t like crying in front of people which is rough bc he’s v emotional all the time. he’s a total crybaby when he’s drunk. if you drink with him, there WILL be a point at which you have to scoop him up off the floor because he’s found something over which to start weeping. OR he’ll end up calling you to panic about how he can’t find his way home, only for him to realise like 5 minutes later he’s phoning you from the steps outside his apartment building.

the kind of guy who can have a full-on breakdown in his room by himself and then just reappear & ask u if u wanna go for ice cream or smth bc he’s bored. like ok that’s done with, that already happened. it’s over.

anyw he’s always willing to give ppl advice if they’re feeling stuck. it’s not always great advice bc he’s basically shit at dealing with stuff himself. he’s not one of these ppl who gives great advice but can’t follow it himself, he’s more...he gives advice bc he’d feel bad if he didn’t TRY so the advice itself definitely varies in quality. he means well though.

don’t watch funny films with him because he will do one of either things; 1) not find it funny and sit through the whole thing like : | or 2) he’ll find it so funny that he’ll end up on the floor at some point. there’s no in between. it’s all or nothing with this fucker.

he really likes cute shit. he’s rich so there’s nothing stopping him from buying those overpriced limited edition hello kitty goods.

let’s not talk about how he enjoys acting bc it’s an escape where he can be Somebody Else but he can’t cope with himself being promoted as something that doesn’t feel like Tomo. that’s its own mess. i’m p sure he’d just unravel if anybody said anything about it.

OTHER STUFF

his hair is currently bright red. it’s a recent change but he was like ‘uhhhh if i’m going on this trip, i’m making a visual statement’ and that was that. he likes to go for more interesting colours when he’s not filming anything because it’s the only time he really gets to. i mean, he still has dyed hair in a lot of his films but it’ll usually be brown or blonde or something else more ‘realistic’.

tomo cares a LOT about the way he dresses and styles himself. he’ll probably complain if he has to do a promo/magazine shoot and he doesn’t like the outfit he’s been given. it doesn’t actually help him half the time and he just gets told to shut up but it’s the PRINCIPLE of it !!!!!!!!

he posts on his finsta probably way too often but that’s because his public social media is pretty filtered, given that he’s caused fusses on social media before. there have been multiple cases of him having to delete tweets and instagram posts because somebody in charge decided he was pushing the limit just a little too much and, granted, most of it wouldn’t be seen as risky (bc it’s mostly utterly pointless stuff that gets flagged up as risky, e.g; ‘i need to pee and i can’t find a bathroom. death is coming for me.’) if he hadn’t publicly complained about the tv show that made him famous several times on twitter but he did do that so, y’know, he’s seen as a liability. the unfortunate outcome of this is that his finsta story is often littered with fairly inane thoughts.

he’s not very good at watching himself in films. it depends on the film and he can do it but uhhhh let’s just say he once watched the one horror film he was in at the cinema (and didn’t like most of it bc he’s a wuss about that sort of thing) but he laughed during his own death scene. there were tears in his eyes. real tears.

he doesn’t like dating because...well, he likes the IDEA of it but he’s the type to really fall for someone and BASICALLY? he’s scared of being dumped! he’s a bright & appealing personality with just enough edge to balance it out but he’s a bit of an emotional screwball and getting people interested is easier than keeping them interested, leading to mixed experiences with dating so he’s settled for sleeping around a little instead. oh well, whatever works! (does it actually work? shhhh it’s a secret...)

he’s very much involved in the party scene, whatever country he’s in. it’s not something he talks about much (privately, i mean, bc DUH he doesn’t say it publicly) but he doesn’t exactly avoid drugs in anyway (code for...yeah, he’s done stuff). it’s all casual, he says, but he still does it. he does smoke cigarettes though and he’s a little dependent on that.

also i guess he got involved in that kinda thing deliberately because he wants to distance himself from the clean-cut, shiny heartthrob pretty boy image as much as possible. eventually, it just became a natural way of de-stressing and dealing with the constant frustration of his career. the unfortunate consequence of that is that he’s now got a bit of a Bad Boy/Wild Child image and he’s not entirely sure he likes that either. (the shift in image also means that some journalists will talk about him as though he’s ‘gone off the rails’ and, yeah, he hates that as well)

#bratsintro #ok i kept trying to review this to make sure everything's in order but iM...SICK OF READING IT SO hopefully it's fine as is ASDFGHGF #i feel like my eyeballs are gonna fall out if i look at this any longer so im just gonna hit post and tell myself to shut upASDFGHG #i think there's some stuff i forgot to put in here that WAS in the app so i might just put a link to it on my blog somewhere #except i forgot to save the final version of the app i actually sent so i CAN'T REMEMBER

[ddaenggtan]

jungkook

j | write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

You didn’t pick and I’ve been sitting on this for a while sO y’all get to know how From Eden was supposed to end before I wussed out and decided Nah Romance Y’all! I’m putting it at the end, though, because this is long enough as it is!

u | share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

ryn i know u sent this and i hate you for making me pick anyone at all for anything sO YOU’RE RUDE, BLOCKED AND REPORTED, I’M MAKING YOU ONE OF THEM AND I HOPE IT GETS CHUMMY FOR YA

@fortunexkookie - ryn is easily one of my favorite writers, because everything they write is very real. like. each mc is relatable in their own way, they’re all very human and flawed and realistic, and i really love that. each of their iterations of the members are also very distinct, like their Falling Skies Jungkook is very different from their The Turing Test Jungkook, while still maintaining, I think, the things that make them them. Both Jungkooks are, at heart, very much like I imagine the real Jungkook to be, while still being distinct characters. If you dropped them both into a room, they’d have their own personalities and quirks and traits, but they’d still be JK. And the way Ryn does their world-building is simple and understated but it can’t be denied that it’s some of the most beautiful worldbuilding I’ve seen. And we’re not going to start on the prose part of their writing, because I will legitimately never stop talking about the way Ryn consistently puts in lines that just. Echo. In your brain. Like. It flows and it emotes and it’s perfect for the scenes, but then they just hit you with these specific parts that just stay in your heart for so long that they grow roots. I’m never not going to be in love with Ryn’s writing. 

@junqkook - Yara is an ICON. Like. HOW she read something I wrote and thought it was good I still don’t know because I legitimately am floored every single time I read something by her. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through her masterlist at least twice, and every single story is so unique and creative, even the ones that are inspired are published series, and I’m just. In awe. The characters she creates are always so varied and intriguing, and the worlds are so interesting and fascinating, and I am consistently envious of the way her work flows so smoothly and so naturally. It all has such a natural progression, the dialogue is genuine and real, and I’m just. I’m in awe. Literally in awe, I love it so much, and I can only hope that my shiny garbage can one day be like that. 

@gukyi - i don’t think we’re actually mutuals, because I could only wish for someone like Guyi to know I exist, and the only reason I’m keeping the tag is bc she deserves all of the love and praise. If you want good fics, especially if you’re not one for the smut, then you really need to be following Guyi because the worlds she creates in her fics are absolutely astounding. Her entire HP au series is absolutely phenomenal and creative and stands out from every single hp au I’ve EVER read, which is rare because while they all tend to be good, they also all tend to be very similar because there’s only so much you can usually do in a hp au, and I haven’t read a single fic from her that I didn’t love. Victorious? Iconic, the worldbuilding she did to add onto HTTYD was phenomenal, and she blew the childhood friends to enemies to lovers trope out of the park. Her horror fics are some of the only ones I’ve read because they’re just that good. THE WEDDING PLANNERS? Truly iconic. I honestly WISH I could write like Guyi. 

n - answered here

g | do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I’m a dumb bitch, so I have to write my story from start to finish. I tend to ramble in my notes about various scenes I want to include, and maybe some random notes about the relationship or their personalities, but like. 

o - answered here 

k | what’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

That’s gOTTA be Forever Rain, like. I’m not usually an angst person, so I’m not super good at coming up with angst prompts, but Forever Rain is EASILY the most angsty thing I’ve ever come up with. I’m getting sad just writing it, like. 

From Eden Alternate Ending

The aftermath of the fight with Demeter changes everything. Hoseok and Hades don’t see Yoongi before he gets dragged back to Olympus, which shouldn’t be possible in the first place, but Zeus has always tended to side with anyone who wasn’t the Queen of the Dead. No one is even sure Yoongi’s alright until Hermes comes down to tell them about Zeus’ decision, and Hoseok is pretty sure he’s never seen Hades angrier than that night. They haven’t spoken since, not really; he knows that she visits him when she thinks he’s asleep, knows that she runs her hands carefully through the air above his fractured wing even as she has to work to stitch her own body back together out of shadows and the memory of what hope felt like. The guilt shoves from her in waves, until it cloys in his throat and drowns out his own. Hades is focused on her own pain; how she should never have gone to Zeus, never have sought out what Yoongi was so afraid of, never trusted that Hoseok would be able to stay with him when Yoongi could convince anyone of anything. She doesn’t talk to anyone, doesn’t do anything but the work expected of her; the dead are piling up, slower than during Demeter’s rampage in the mortal world, but without Hoseok there to pass judgement, the Council is forced to, and they take far longer than he ever did, and she doesn’t know what she’s going to do because he was hurt because of her. 

Hoseok, meanwhile, is on bedrest, forced to spread his wings over several chairs so that they stay put, so the bones don’t break further and they set correctly. He’s a god - one of the oldest gods - but Demeter knew what she was doing when she twisted his wings beneath her and laughed as they cracked. In this story, Hades does not talk to him softly as he heals; she’s too afraid to see the accusation in his eyes, the blame that does not exist. She doesn’t tell him that she thinks its her fault, so he isn’t able to convince her otherwise. He doesn’t shed any tears with her in the darkness, she doesn’t hear his whispered confession that he blames himself because if he’d stayed...if he hadn’t flown off to try to protect his queen then maybe, just maybe, Yoongi would still be there. He’d still be safe. She doesn’t wipe his tears with her thumb, she doesn’t press a gentle kiss to his cheek after asking for his forgiveness, he doesn’t slide his lips across her knuckles and tell her there’s nothing to forgive. Instead there’s only Hoseok, stuck in a room and in pain, wondering if he’s condemned Yoongi to death because he couldn’t follow orders. 

In this universe, Hades is too afraid to send warnings to Olympus about what might happen to the dead if Yoongi returns hurt or upset. She doesn’t want to meddle more, doesn’t want to cause more damage to the flower god that she loves so much, doesn’t want to watch him crumple like the blossoms around her pomegranate tree. Can’t bear to think about where the golden drops that decorate the ground there came from, but can’t bear to have it covered, either. It’s a reminder, of just what happens when she gets too close. Of what happens when she lets herself forget that she carries Death on her fingertips and Tragedy in her footprints. 

In this universe, when Yoongi returns, he isn’t waiting in her room to tell her that he loves her and Hoseok. He doesn’t hold her, doesn’t show her how much he missed her in those months. In this universe he comes back quiet and solitary. He doesn’t visit Hoseok at the gates anymore. Yoongi can’t bear the reminder of the pain he caused. This time, Yoongi stays in his room. He visits the tree and his flowers, tends to them until the remnants of his blood are visible no more and the only reminder of that night is the taste of pomegranate on his tongue. He doesn’t visit Hades, doesn’t make jokes with Hoseok, and neither of them seek him out, too ashamed or guilty or grief-stricken to be faced with the hope he holds in his very skin. None of them can bear it, so none of them do. 

Hades stops wandering the Meadow. She doesn’t visit the gates, either, ignores the whines of Cerberus when he misses her, refuses to pass anywhere near the courtyard where the tree sits, surrounded by a kaleidoscope of color that she’s grown to hate. The smell of pomegranate surrounds her, as it always has, but it turns her stomach now more than ever. She cries more often than before, and no one notices. 

Hoseok doesn’t let the Council take over again. There’s a backlog of spirits, that’s the excuse he sticks to, and there’s too much work to be done. He pets Cerberus when the dog whines, letting all three heads lick wounds in him that no one can see, and he pretends that it’s okay. He doesn’t look at the flower crown hanging on the peg nearby, pretends it’s not there and that it’s as faded and withered as the ones behind it. His judgments become harsher, less forgiving than they were, and people stop asking for them. He stands with the dog at his back and the anger on his face and pretends like he’s healed. He doesn’t acknowledge that more broke that night than just his wing. Or that it never really healed. 

Yoongi doesn’t speak. He’s silent and steady in the darkness, hands moving on instinct. He misses Cerb, misses the way he would cajole Hoseok into judging more souls, misses the way Hades would smile as she worked on the flowers. But he knows better, now. His mother spent six months reminding just what would happen if he ran again, what would happen if he let himself think he was safe again. He has nothing else to do so he thinks, about what he should’ve done. How he shouldn’t have convinced Hoseok to leave, how he shouldn’t have been in the Meadow, how he shouldn’t have asked about the pomegranates, how he shouldn’t have gotten attached when he knew she wouldn’t let him stay. How he shouldn’t have run. The pile of flower crowns beside him grows with every day, and they mock him with their refusal to wither. They stay, bright and full and hopeful, a light in the dark of his room that refuses to go out. When he leaves to go back to his mother, he doesn’t take them with him. 

#answered #ask game #about bette #fic: from eden #ahahahahahaha pain #lots of pain #i hurt #a lot #probably i should turn this into its own little post so its easier for people to see but! #oh well! #this is sad #bUT LOVE THOSE AUTHORS OKAY SEND THEM ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT #Anonymous #questions

[janiedean]

“anon, are you envious that I have a brain and I can use it? because not to brag, but I’ve known that I could since I was four and I don’t need to send people anon hate to feel better about myself. ;)” SELF.DRAG 😂😂😂😂😂 What were you reading, newspaper headlines??? Sis youre still using insults 10 yos would use “i have a brain and i can use it” sjdbjsbdjs also not to go pseudoscientific but you have the WORST low te and most oblivious high fi ever you may wanna check that bc too cringe 😔😭😂

self-drag, huh? okay! :) then I’ll just let you know that

I learned to read when I was three and half more or less

at four I could read as fast as my grandmother who then complained that I pretended to not know as well because laziness

I also had read from back to bottom the simplified editions of aeneid/iliad/odyssey I was given for my birthday

at five I read those and four different collections of greek myths not to mention every single fairytale book that got thrown my way and I actually could have recited you by heart the above three for how much I read them

the first **serious** book I read ie not reduced stuff and so on was little women when I was six and I hated it because I thought it was boring as hell but that’s not the point

I read notre dame de paris full version no cuts whatsoever (translated ofc but whatever) when I was eight fyi

by the time I was eight I also explicitly asked for wwii-themed history books for christmas so I’ll inform you that by then I had read more nonfiction about the topic than half of my elementary school teachers

who also hated me because I corrected them more than once when they were saying wrong stuff in history, greek mythology or egyptian mythology - spoilers I didn’t even care about it that much

at six I actually did read the newspaper from beginning to end, not just the headlines

and actually when I was six I read on the newspaper that nike used child labor to sew footballs ie people my age and I decided then that I was never going to give them money and I haven’t owned one piece of nike sportswear ever in my life (yes I know they got better now but not the point)

I also had read the entire sherlock holmes collection of novels/stories back to back twenty times before I turned nine

same for all of edgar allan poe’s short stories

before I was six I had definitely read all of the grimm fairytales - with my mom fine but it was the two of us and it was the entire 400+ pages book ;)

when I was eight I solved my issues with having to do homework throughout the year by reading through my history book from beginning to end once at the beginning of the year, and then never opened it until the end. well, I remembered it so well I always got top grades and I didn’t have to study history doing anything else other than that until I finished elementary school :)

oh, and I usually finished books in one or two days at most unless they were specifically long ones, even when I was six :)

idk if it counts to you but since I grew up on opera before I was six I knew at least one by heart without needing to read it and I could have sung you half of the magic flute in swedish because it was translated in swedish in the movie that I watched every other day, and the other half in german because it was my favorite opera ;) and by the time I learned to write (when I was five btw! I learned before I went to elementary school) I could have totally transcribed don giovanni for you by heart but nvm that ;)

I mean, that’s like 30% of what I was doing before I turned eleven, but like... I don’t go around bragging about it nor think that I’m particularly amazing for that, like I enjoyed reading and opera and so on while other people enjoyed other things. it doesn’t make me smarter than anyone or better than anyone or a genius or whatever and I don’t use it as a business card because all of that shit means nothing if you don’t know how to use it and if your personality to go with it sucks. but sure as hell I know I have a brain and I can use it and it’s not stuff ten year olds only says, it’s the truth. ;) also, fyi, idk if you went around the blog to check if I ever wrote my mbti  or if you’re good at guessing (in case fine, congrats!) but like... I’m isfp which obviously means I have high FI and low TE, but since it’d mean I have dominant IF:

As a dominant function, Fi manifests as a moral compass that points its user toward the direction they ought to explore next, based on how they feel about the information at hand.

The dominant-Fi monologue:“I must decide how I feel and where I stand on these issues before coming to a conclusion about what to do.”

oh wow.... you’re telling me I have a high moral compass? WOW, I’M SO SAD. considering that I don’t go send anon hate, I guess I can live with that.

then I should have inferior ET, right?

As an inferior function, Te originally manifests as the inability to set one’s external desires or plans into motion.

As Te matures, the user finds themselves steadily more able to source the resources they require to make their dreams a reality. They also find themselves developing the ability to express their thoughts to others in a straightforward, logical manner.

anon, honestly: given that that is one of the things I’m pretty damn good at, I think that you are the one with the extremely low ET, since you can’t find logic if it hit you in the face.

like, are you done with this farce or not? because honestly, you’re boring af.

also, given the amount of emojis you’re sending, you’re the same person who was bitching at someone else before about gwen’s looks and like.... grow up? how old are you, four? not even a four year old has this level of immaturity ngl.

(also, I know perfectly that you’re trying to bait and the next anon will be OMG LOOK AT YOU BRAGGING HAHAHAHA, I’m only publishing this so that I have receipts about how ridiculous y’all are ;) )

#fldjksklgkjsdjkl #the anon hate saga #m'avete anche rotto i coglioni oh #Anonymous #ask post

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Odd :) numbers :)

You say you don’t care who I do but I’mma do Jesse and Vrox anyway XD

under the cut bc *insert vaguely angry but also just very affectionate ‘my son is a dick but I love him’ eyes here*

questions are from here, send me some if you’d like! :P please try to specify which character tho, less stress for me X’D

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Jesse: He’s actually very patient. He might jolt his bounce his knee a bit and twiddle his fingers, zone out/daydream. He’d probably have a nap after a while, he can fall asleep anywhere. He could last hours and hours if needed.

Vrox: You don’t leave Vrox alone in a room for a long time. Something will get broken, Even if there’s nothing in the room to break, something will get broken. About two hours at MOST before he starts getting annoyed.

June: They could last a long time if needed, though they would not be happy about it. They like to complain at the best of times.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Jesse: Normally has a long shower and eats whatever unhealthy shit they have for dinner (normally cereal or take out) and then plays music low in the background to help him nod off, occasionally he’ll replace it with an audio book but he’ll put his earbuds in for that. He and Vrox are both big night owls tho so keep in mind this is usually at about 3AM.

Vrox: Drags Jesse into dancing with him, eats whatever Jesse’s bottomless pit stomach couldn’t hold, and works out for a while (where Jesse can see of course because he’s a show off.) Then he has a very short paranoid shower because his DICK BOYFRIEND used up almost all the hot water, and tumbles into bed. Not gonna lie he and Jess have sex most nights, they’re… incorrigible. 

June: Soaks in the bath for a hundred years and refills it for every one of those years, then pulls on their super expensive silk PJs, does a facemask and pulls out whatever disgusting trashy knock-off romance novel they’re currently reading and pick it apart like the happy little vulture they are. They have a massive bed but they rarely ever sleep in it, most of the time they fall asleep on the couch until the sun wakes them up through the blinds they forgot to shut and they stumble into the bedroom cursing and go back to sleep till Taco wakes them up (they would sleep in all day if he let them.)

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Jesse: It depends on what you do. If you make a mistake, he’ll be fine. If you turn out to be transphobic or generally a dick then woop there goes his trust.

Vrox: hates everyone from the get go and that rarely ever changes, you don’t even have to try dude

June: Them?? Trusting anyone??????? *hysterical laughter*

7: What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Jesse: Nostalgia for him is bittersweet. Music is the biggest trigger since his dad loved it and had a record player that was like his second child, he used to dance with Jesse’s mom to Let Me Call You Sweetheart. One time Vrox found the old record and played it for him and Jesse absolutely broke down. He tries to think of the good rather than the bad, but it all gets jumbled up a lot: being gay, trans and black in 1910s was not a good life to lead. He’s got to step carefully around his memories.

Vrox: Doesn’t have a lot of nostalgia, but he DOES get weird dream-memories sometimes of back in his ‘baby years’, when he was just a simple hellhound without sapience yet. Jesse always laughs his ass off when Vrox has one of those dreams because Vrox looks so confused and disgruntled - and annoyed and embarrassed when he remembers something humiliating.

June: 99% of their nostalgia is soaked in PTSD, so no, they don’t enjoy it. The sound of the ocean, the smell of roses and citrus, wearing heavy dresses, any kind of grating or grinding on their teeth, and washing clothes by hand are all triggers, they hate it.

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Jesse: Said “drat!” once and his mom made him wash all the dishes for three months straight. Needless to say, he doesn’t swear much even now. It gives it more impact when he does… unless in the bedroom, them he swears like, well, a demon.

Vrox: Fuck yes he fucking swears and he’d like any motherfucker to try and fucking stop him. Honestly the first word that came out of his mouth when he evolved was probably a swear of some kind.

June: Swears a lot. They’ll swear in front of you and your grandmother and your 6 year old, they don’t give a shit. They don’t remember their first one tho.

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Jesse: Definitely asks, he’s a responsible bean who’s mature and wants to know exactly what’s going on.

Vrox: Probably doesn’t care enough to ask, unless it’s just him and Jesse, then he’ll ask.

June: They’ll fake it till they make it or ask with a blunt “what the fuck are you talking about?”

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Jesse: Looks fucking fantastic in blue and/or yellow and knows this. Vrox can’t stop kissing him when he wears yellow and it almost reduces his big scary boyfriend to tears because “you look so cute, what the fuck, how are you so cute?!”

Vrox: Red. He loves red. But blue brings out his eyes and suits him better, tho red is also good on him.

June: Black or a dark smokey grey. They know they look damn good. They’re highly allergic to bright colours, you understand.

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Jesse: Is the chillest charasmatic person you’ll ever meet, amazing at putting people at ease and making lasting conversations or small talk. Master people person. He can still talk a little ‘weird’ for our time and some old slang slips out occasionally, but still very confidant. thus i have no idea how to write him LMAO how are you cooler than me i created you wtf

Vrox: No small talk, no rehearsing. He’s intimidating and doesn’t normally talk to people unless absolutely necessary, or he’s trying to pick a fight. Has 0 interest in making people feel at ease or comfortable around him, he wants to be left alone as much as possible. People think he’s got a weird accent when he does talk, one that’s pretty unrecognizable - he spent most of his life in hell, after all, not on Earth.

June: Clipped, concise, they get what they need out of a conversation and then conversation is over. They don’t rehearse, they’re blunt and don’t care about feelings. They have the faintest hint of a cockney accent that gets stronger when they’re drunk/angry/emotional.

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

Jesse: Kind of. And he’s easily scandalized, and sometimes not in a funny way. He still forgets that it’s okay for him to hold Vrox’s hand in public where people can see.

Vrox: Only Jesse can really get blushes out of him.

June: Occasionally, but they’ll get irritated faster than they’ll get embarrassed, and when they get flustered they tend to scratch so be careful with that.

19. What is their favorite number?

Jesse: 2.

Vrox: 666.

June: 43.

21. Why do they get up in the morning? 

Jesse: Sometimes he doesn’t. Mostly because he tries to find good little things in every day that he looks forward to. Or because Vrox wheedles him out of bed with breakfast and kisses.

Vrox: Because somebody’s gotta annoy Jesse out of bed. Also because once he wakes up he gets restless and needs to move around, no peaceful lie-ins for him.

June: Because Taco won’t stop drooling and shedding on them, otherwise they wouldn’t. Sleep is like the only thing they enjoy... just not the dreams.

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

Jesse: Gets a bit quiet but tries to feel happy for the person he’s envious of.

Vrox: Angrily. What did you expect. Tries to get the thing and if he can’t have it he tries to ruin it, or he just stalks off.

June: They get pissy and territorial and they sulk. A lot.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage? 

Jesse: Likes the idea, definitely wants to get married one day. His parents were both people of faith (even if it wasn’t SUPER strong) and he doesn’t really like that they would disapprove of him living in sin, ironic as it is. And he just wants to get married as an intimate tie.

Vrox: Doesn’t give a shit but would do anything to make Jesse happy.

June: HhahahAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahAHAHA no.

27. What causes them to feel dread?

Jesse: Any kind of weird looks in public, people he cares about running late, having anything around his neck, sleeping in the same room as other people (asides from Vrox.)

Vrox: Not being able to contact his (admittedly few) loved ones for whatever reason, and really not much else. Vrox doesn’t dread a lot.

June: Literally anything to do with their past, being shown affection, knowing they have to go out to a public gathering bc they are a big introvert, knowing they need to sleep at some point.

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Jesse: He tries damn hard to. you’re doin great sweetie.

Vrox: Has no real ideals and still disappoints himself on a regular basis.

June: They don’t really have any ideas other than ‘be a snarky asshole’ and they sure live up to that.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Jesse: Vrox. He kept him safe when he needed it most, supported him through everything, always encouraged him to kick ass and do what he thinks is right.

Vrox: Jesse. He taught him that it was okay to let people in and to be soft, that just because he was a demon doesn’t mean he has to let it define everything he is.

June: Dante. He showed them a way out and helped them build a life, always there to support them. And Taco, of course.

33: Could they be considered lazy?

Jesse: No. At worst, depressed. He’s definitely not lazy, not by a long shot, very active in human rights, painting, social activities.

Vrox: Not really, he’s somebody who always has to be Doing Something.

June: Absolutely. They enjoy it greatly.

35: How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Jesse: Super hyped and into it, gonna be asking lots of excited questions and listening to every word.

Vrox: Might playfully tease but always encourages whatever it is

June: Will roll their eyes and put on a show of not being interested but you bet your ass they’ll be paying attention and they will care (and anybody who manages to get close to June would know this)

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Jesse: He’s got an okay memory but if he really needs to remember something he’ll scribble it in his sketchbook

Vrox: Is one of those people who needs to sing the entire ABCs while looking up a word in the dictionary. But he doesn’t really care.

June: Has a good memory, but if they forget something they don’t give a damn. If they forget somebody’s name they’ll just call them by a bunch of different insulting names and ignore the person trying to correct them.

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 

Jesse: It really depends on what the flaws are, but mostly he’s pretty chill.

Vrox: Is Vrox. Everything pisses him off, what do you expect. He doesn’t take shit.

June: If they care about you, they will tolerate a lot, though they won’t overlook them. If they don’t care about you, prepare to have all your flaws thrown in your face.

41. How do they feel about children?

Jesse: Not good with little kids and feels awkward around them, but he’s good with older kids/teenagers.

Vrox: Is very good with little kids and likes them more than his scarred angry ass will admit.

June: Loves kids but they make them uncomfortable so they avoid them at all costs.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

Jesse: “Gay, gay, very gay, have you even seen guys? Guys are great, I’m gay, I’m so gay.” (Vrox, in the background: “GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY”)

Vrox: “I don’t care, if I like you you’re stuck with me.”

June: “The void.”

#alex--blue #asks #my OCs #Jesse #Vrox #June #this took me a whole-ass day to write PFFFFTTT #thank you for asking buddy I love you #<3 <3 <3

[10thstellium]

As a 11th house stellium person too, is it weird that my favourite moments in life were without friends? I have friends now but I used to be a loner in hs and it was so important to me. Without friends I was able to develop my own individuality and independence whilst I find friendships make me very sappy and dependant on others. What’s your own experience/ opinion on friendship? Thank you ☺️

      I don’t think it’s weird honestly, look at this way, some people really can’t stand to be alone/without friends and that’s not weird. Interestingly enough I’m experiencing the loner-phase now. I will say friends do make me pretty happy, but I’m extremely content with myself at the same time. I’ll also avoid people if I really just wanna be in my own zone. In HS I was the really funny gyal and had some typical cancer-mom moments so I think I attracted a lot more people than I would’ve liked at times when I wanted to be alone. I will say the people I didn’t mind to be around me at any point in the day were my AQUA/earth sign friends now that I’m looking back at it. I love them very much and we still chat here and there now. Now that I’m in college, my group of friends has shrunk and I love it because it’s taught me a lot about people. One of my oldest friends goes to the same school as me and one of our classes are right next to each other, but I hardly ever see her and she’s accepted I’m a distant friend but a loyal one, if that makes sense.     I used to constantly apologize to her and her gf about fading out into the background. Bless them honestly, because they told me not to apologize for it and that they completely understood. I had never really gotten that before? My other ‘closer’ friendships would demand so much of me I panicked because I’d grown so used to that behavior I was convinced I was being a bad friend by not doing the same with them. It’s a habit I’ve thankfully broken and stopped feeling guilty over. So I spend a large part of my energy and time focusing on myself and I’ve come to understand it’s not selfish even if I feel like it is at times. I’ve also befriended a close-knit group of online friends which is perfect for someone like me tbh. This past couple of years has taught me A LOT about real friendship and rose-tinted gaze toward people I cherished because we’d been together for so long.    Real friendship at the end of the day is someone who understands how you work and respects it. That’s it. They respect your integrity, your character, your time, your space, how you function. When you find someone who respects you they’ll be the ones to make sure you respect yourself too when you slip up and have ‘weaker’ moments. A healthy give and take of sorts. ( i.e. my cap sun/leo moon best friend, her cap sun/virgo moon gf & my aqua sun/gemini moon best friend who i annoy the shit out of @velvetsjisoo )    The rose-tinted gaze is more common than people will want to admit or even realize. I was taught a very harsh lesson about giving more in a friendship than I was receiving. I didn’t even realize it until things fell apart, because my patience had finally run out. I dropped/lost a lot of people I never thought I would and some don’t even know they’ve been dropped. Not everyone cares for you the way you care for them and they surely know it. They just don’t care, because as long as someone is doing it they’re happily reaping the benefits. ( i.e. toxic, envious, hurt & insecure people ) (( I'm not gonna drop placements bc I’m not gonna build a negative stigma around them conversely I’m not weary of other people with those placements either ))

#a #this was long omg #Anonymous

[gayneral]

All those flowers, my dude

First of all thank you for asking, this will be longAlso as this took me almsot two weeks already I took the liberty of leaving some queastions out so I wouldn’t take even longerSince this was answered over a longer time span some questions that are aimed at certain days may be slightly outdated (ed what are u wearing today and such)

Alisons: Sexuality?I’m gay my dudes

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?He/Him, male

Amaryllis: Birthday?My Birthday is in June

Anemone: Favorite flower?This is gonna sound lame as fuck but I rly like roses, red ones in particular

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?I can’t choose but here are some favorites:

Peaky Blinders, I’ve watched this one so often,,, Cillian Murphy was what got me into it and I stayed for beautiful scenes and atmosphere and the gang drama

Gotham, Let’s be honest, the best thing abt dc are their villains (also suuuuper into Robin Lord Taylor as Oswald)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Office, i like these because they are easy, nice and satisfy my need to have something running in the background while I’m at home. (Also insanely sweet in the case of BB9)

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?One I still remember strongly is from two boys kissing “you should all live to meet your future selves”

Also many of the poems by keaton st james deeply resonate with me so check those out (most are religious-ish just in case that’s a no no for you)

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?I gotta be boring and say water

I like hot chocolate and a special kind of peach tea and some soda I drank in brazil but water,, yeah I drink that most,, love hydration

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Nope

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?I am, right now, at this very moment

Baneberries: Favorite song?I can’t give you an all time favorite so here’s a random favorite I currently like listening to: Sedated by Hozier

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.My family is not very big and actually hasn’t been a family for a very long time. Namely it’s my dad, my sister, my grandparents, my dads wife, her son, our dog and I. I have never experienced family in my youth so sometimes when I’m with them it’s all very odd. And sometimes it’s stressful. But it’s the first time I actually miss family when I’m alone at home, far away. I speak about my father and my grandparents further below but my sister is very sweet and I’m pretty protective of her, she and I get along a lot better now than before which is a common trait as ull see later.

We often take care of things, and are probably the most planning of the family. My dad’s wife is very good to talk to, having a very different perspective from my own and will always offer up advice. Her son is currently in pirperty and more interested in playing fortnite than anything which makes for some explosiveness at home. Our dog is cute and perfect that’s it.

Begonia: Favorite color?I like blue tones, but a dark, rusy kind of red is cool too

Bellflower: Favorite animal?Dogs Dogs Dogs. By far my favorite animal, they fill my heart with joy. Next up, Giraffes, funny big boys

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?Morning I think, I definitely work best early.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?I actually never really had a dream job as a child. Not that I remember at least.

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?While I generally ain’t a big fan, like I’m someone very based on conversations so obviously that’s hard w kids. I am growing more to them. I’m far from wanting one but I think children are special in their.. Like innocence. They are beyond all the bitterness and hatred that we adults have. If only parents would be better lmao

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?I’m afraid of many things. Change for example. And failure. I think that might be because being perfect was important when I grew up and whatever I did it was never enough to my mother especially. Perhaps that has become so deep rooted that I tell myself I can not fail, which makes me very nervous and makes me worry too much.

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.I spend lots of time on building sites and in hardware stores because my grandparents have houses and my parents often would work there too.

Buttercup: Relationship Status?Single

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?God I don’t know, I think it’s probably when I’m with someone I care about and it’s easy and light and fun and I feel comfortable and they tell me that they like being around me, or that I made them happy with something.

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?Nope,wanted to have some but money and shit

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  I have my ears pierced, but it’s the earlobes so the most basic thing

California Poppy: Height?  I insist on 1,70 at least, I will not accept being under that.

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?In a way, yeah

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?My new boots, black pants, winter coat, black jacket, a blue button up and a lord of the rings shirt underneath. Obviously underwear

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?When I was a child for sure

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?A person from school, who’s also in fashion design, but a few years above me that I got to know bc of cosplay.

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?My Ex

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?God idk, I like oldish looking ones, elegant ‘n stuff

Columbine: Are you tired?Nah, actually not rn

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?Sam visiting me in March

Coneflower: Dream job?I’m not sure, definitely something w sewing but idk if I wanna go theater or my own things

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?Introvert

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?Yeh

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?Very very far

I’d say I’m pretty damn loyal and also give myself up easily even without noticing. If someone has my love and my loyalty they have my everything basically. Would I commit a terrible crime? I don’t know. Would I be real mean to someone or punch them? Yeah, if it’s reasonable w the situation I would (would it be affective? Not sure)

Give myself up? If we’re thinking real dramatic..maybe yeah

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?Gemini

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?Funny or stupid things? MaybeOtherwise honourable stuff, i don’t think so, i don’t view my actions like that.

I mean I survived, that’s pretty cool

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?Above mentioned survival. Which includes making it out of my mother and her boyfriends abusive grip and household. Moving away. Being true to myself. Dragging myself out of the hole I had fallen in for a while. Getting close w my dad and family. Believing more in myself and stopping things that are not good for me. Getting an apprenticeship that I like. Moving forward in life

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?If it’d be my dad I’d sit down with him and ask him why exactly. I have had a relationship before in which I did not see how badly I was treated/ that I basically searched someone like my mother. So I’d listen, perhaps to prevent from making the same mistake again. If it turns out it’s nothing reasonable I think I’d tell him that I will pursue the relationship anyway and ask him to respect that and be as nice as possible to my partner.

If it’d be my mother.. No surprise she doesn’t even like me and honestly I wouldn’t give a shit.

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?Did I say it? Not sure but written it in a letter, it was Sam

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?If my grades speak for themselves it’d be my apprenticeship, or like idk working hard about something I enjoy. I take this very seriously and give it everything I can. I’ve been told I’m good at talking, not sure if that’s true

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?I’m envious. It’s not that far that I am not happy for people, I think i generally have it under control but sometimes it gets the best of me and fills my stomach with nasty emotions.

Also saying stop. I do a lot for people, and I’ve been prone to letting people use and step on me for too long xnot standing up for myself

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?The past month was actually absolutely terrible so not much to find here.Uhm..the bad thing that happened got our family closerI spend Christmas and new years w my familyI got amazing gifts and letters from my friends

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?Stressful. I worked on my semester project and I feel like hardly anything worked

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?I’m moving towards a happy place. But I’m definitely doing a lot better already

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?Finish my apprenticeship, surgery, be able to make my own money so I don’t have to rely on my dad so much (he does enough for me already) and so I can get more distance between my mother and I

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?In no particular order

1. Dogs, god whenever I see a dog I’m happy because they are so cute and loyal,,,,,,,

2. probably everyone and their dog says this but my friends, honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without them. They helped me through terrible times in my life, are a constant source of love and joy to me.

3. my family. Since I didn’t have that for a long time I cherish it even more now that I do. It’s amazing to have a family that supports you behind you. I’m super grateful for everything they’ve done for me

4. the possibility to do the apprenticeship that I want to. it’s not always easy,,,I lack the money lmao but I’m so grateful that I can do this, because it makes me feel like I’m actually worth something in the working,adult world. I’m good at this

5. music. I listen to it so often, I can’t imagine not having music

6. sunshine, there’s something wonderful about going outside and feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, when it’s spring and winter has just gone by and you just have to smile because everything is bright and you’re surrounded by light

7. myself. Listen I dislike myself as much as the next guy but I’m working on appreciating myself and I am insanely proud of myself for coming as far as I have come. I don’t let myself feel it very often but having myself, it’s a good thing. I know my younger self would be very happy knowing that I did all those things for us.

8. something that makes me happy is creating, might it be art, or sewing or writing, anything really. It’s a pain in the ass and frustrating at times but I love looking at something knowing I did this, finishing it. And then looking back at it later and seeing how far I’ve come again

9. playing video games. It’s just fun to lose yourself in a story sometimes.

10. Christmas Markets. I don’t like Christmas itself. But I love the Markets, it’s the atmosphere of it. The food smells amazing and there are all those lights and there are kids with actual shining eyes because they see Christmas so magical and they are in awe by all the lights and honestly I feel the same awe sometimes when I’m on those Markets

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  Hardly anything lmao. Listening to music. Distracting myself with either talking to someone or playing/watching something. Tho that often makes me feel guilty on the long run. What helps if stress is overwhelming me is writing down what it is that is stressing, like making a list and trying to untangle the mess, looking at what I have to do one by one

Hellebore: How do you show affection?Since I’m A  big fan of honesty I usually just say it. I like to tell people when I get some emotion. Like just telling them that I appreciate them. I think it’s nice to just be told that sometimes. Besides that I do things, like I’ll send anon messages or offer help just assisting somehow. Like not always outright having them know it’s me,like affection from afar. And well I’m helpful when I care abt someone especially, like “I can do this for you”

And being super openIt’s not alway clever as experience has shown but to me offering up things about myself means trust means affection in a way. Like giving a part of myself to someone. lmao

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?Making it to this point, I wasn’t in a very good state just a bit ago. But with the help of my friends and family I made it out of it. I have an apprenticeship I enjoy, I have my own flat, I have something to stand up for again. I can appreciate myself some more. I was able to see toxic relationships i was in and get away from them and not let myself be guilted but seeing them for what they are and acknowledging that while I am not a saint it doesn’t mean that I have to accept any treatment. I stood up to my mother, even if just a bit that was a huge step for me.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?I barely had  any of it recently so I can very much put what I want to do. Which would be drawing. I haven’t done that properly in so long and I miss it. Like both sketching stuff on paper but mostly full pictures, sketching, lining and colouring somethin. Having a full art piece at the end. Also Play Games. And talk to my friends. Haven’t had a nice hour long convo with Nina or Charlotte or Sam in ages and I hate that.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?That’d be Charlotte and Nina

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?I would hide away in my room and imagine. Invent stories, characters, anything to distract me from how unhappy I was. I would act them out in my head when I laid in bed so I could sleep.

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?I did not treat someone that I care about very well a few years ago, I didn’t give them the honesty they deserve. I was an asshole. Even if we spoke about it, I still feel very bad about it.

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?Indulging. When I have things to do but take a break I always feel super guilty for not doing anything.

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?It seems it comes from the Roman name Julianus, and was the name of a pangan Roman Emperor as well as a name of saints. Sometimes meaning youthful which fits because I look like a baby

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.I grew up in a big city in Germany. Very busy City with high buildings and no time. I lived in a flat when I was very young, a room with big windows where I’d sit and look out ot. Then we moved into the house my dad still lives in. Where houses were built in rows and more people knew each other, I’d walk home and pretend to not see them as to not have to speak to them.

Then I moved in a beautiful flat in a more busy part of the city, with a bookstore in the same building and a supermarket right down the street. My hometown is best described in the colour grey. I dont think it very pretty if I’m honest.Still its full of memories and not half as bad

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?Talking about the one in the house. Light peach coloured walls. Small but with big windows to look out of. An old wooden bed in front of one Window, and even older Closet next to the door, already so old that it had been ancient when my dad had been young. A desk in one corner at the other side of the room, above it shelves filled with books, little trinkets on the windowsills. Cabinets filled with paper full of secrets. Posters on the Walls and a round mirror that I hated looking into when I was young.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  God no. I have repressed most of my younger years. My teenage years were filled with confusion and self doubt. I was a mess, I hated myself, not knowing who I was. And then knowing but being shamed for it, hiding away and keeping my head low to survive. Pushing myself to the limits and clinging to the thought that I could escape at age 18

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.My Mother and I are not on good terms. I’ve spend countless of years desperately attempting to please her, hoping for love or anything close to it. I was constantly let down by her. My mother is someone that I fear I’ll never understand, adapting to the men that she is with. Claiming to have reached compassion and selflessness while being the opposite. Acts childish and has never accepted or supported me. Now attempts to lure in my sister whom I fear for as she’s always wanted my mother to love her. I have estranged from her very much and currently I am happy seeing her as less as possible.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  I remember my father as a very autocratic person in my youth. He’d always work and would only be home to cast judgement. We did not get along well, and my mother, like grima wormtongue, had influenced me further into seeing him as a terrible person. Now I see him very differently. In fact I am similar to my father. Hard working, well spoken and crafty. We share a similar humor and I am very thankful for his support over the last year. To me my father is a very good example of how sometimes people can actually change, sometimes second chances will not disappoint you. My father cares very much about our family and I am happy to have gotten close to him again.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.I won’t lose many words about my mother’s parents as there isn’t much to say about them.My mothers father was always sick, more often because he believed he was. The years before he died it had only gotten worse. My Grandmother was never really happy in that relationship, something I believe she handed down to my mother.

My fathers parentsWell, when I was young it was difficult, they aren’t exactly children people, despite trying. I especially had my difficulties with my grandmother, who was work above everything and wanted everything to be perfect.I remember her always fixing my clothing. Countless of instances of her and my dad arguing.

When I got older we had barely any contract until I had my coming out to my dad, who told my grandparents. Much to my surprise and I still respect that so much, they were immediately supportive and accepting, perhaps even more than anyone else from my family.

In the last year we grew closer. They helped me with my flat and would come over to set up a few things. I took them to a restaurant that my grandfather would always talk about whenever we talked, happily.

My grandmother and I had phone calls at least once a week, she was also the most interested in my apprenticeship, always curious, sending me old magazines and ideas she had. As well as button ups and shirts she had bought for me or old ones from my grandfather.She offered me support when we talked, told me they’d do anything they could

When my sister and I were getting clothing for my grandpa, as he was saying with us, I found a book on my grandmother’s bedside table.It was an educational oneIn it was also an article she had cut out of a newspaper, the title saying how the support of the family is the most important thing to lgbt children.

I miss my grandmother

Peony: What was your first job?I worked a summer at my mothers workplace. Cleaning watches and watch straps, replacing small things on the straps

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?We met 2014 on a cosplay convention in the city I grew up in. We met on the first day of that, where we all hung out in a group and then he and Charlotte spend the next day w us as well.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?I bottle it up, focus on something that keeps me busy. Sometimes other people’s pain or doing things for them. Distraction from thoughts really. I’m best when I’m busy

Pink: Where is home?If you’d asked me a couple of months ago my answer would’ve been easy and quick. But now phew, I mean I call my place home as in “I’m going home” and I call my dads place home as in “I was home over the holidays”

But I’m not sure, not really

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?I could go endlessly both about important historical events and tragedies as well as personal mishaps and bad choices. But eventually I actually think this is too big of a question to answer like this. I’m generally better in speech than word when it comes to things like that

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.Steady. As in a job that I like, that provides me with enough money to survive well. Not to worry about everything. Having Dogs, as that I something I always wanted. Living somewhere in the city (always dreamed of a Fachwerk House but yeah…), with the possibility to visit my friends that I am in good contact in. Living with love and happiness. With a connection to my family still as good as now. Perhaps with someone,,,

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?I love the sound of paper, like books, pages turning, things like that. Also soft rain

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?I’m a Class A represser. So it’d probably be many things centered abt my mother.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  I want my semester presentation to go well tomorrow. That’s all I care abt rn

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? It used to be harder in the past but I’ve gotten slightly better at it. I’m still struggling with feeling but it’s a work in progress.

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?My Friends and Family, cheesy I know but over the last year I’ve become more set in that. Once more I noticed how much strength those can give you. And also noticed how important they are to me by the way things that happen hurt me

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?7 hours, couldn’t fall asleep at first but that’s usually my minimum of sleep

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?School. I have a timed, strict schedule thanks to that and it forces me to get up until a certain time in the morning. That helps a lot actually

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?I’m still in an apprenticeship but I enjoy it a lot

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?I have a new pair of shoes that are so beautiful I wish I had the look and body and style to wear them day to day. Also got some cool button ups

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.Look at this and you’ll see first hand https://www.pinterest.de/Gayneral/

I’m sorry I’m bad at desctibing my aesthetic. It’s like, historical stuff, museums, snowey Fachwerk, religious themed things, bee themed things, watches…

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?My semester project is due to two and a half weeks and I’m super nervous about finishing it like boooooy

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?Sadly I’ve been super busy recently so I’ve only been able to read a tiny bit in my holidays, Acht Nacht by Sebastian Fitzek

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?Still in school, doing good, and enjoying it

Still having a good relationship w my father, my sister and that whole family

Still good with my friends, hopefully seeing them more often

(maybe in a relationship pls don’t @ me)

Generally happy, not having to worry too much

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?Thanks to tumblr I do, and I hate it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.I take my school very seriously. And I have zero tolerance for those in our school that don’t.

#you wanted to know #ninjago #answered ask #ask game #ask meme #pers: negative #redbluemaiden #long post