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imaginationamuck · 2 years

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Book Review: In A Jam

In a Jam - 5/5

Holy crap, the love I have for this book.

I received an advanced readers copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

Shay Zucconi’s step grandmother leaves her a tulip farm in the small town of Friendship, Rhode Island, under two conditions, Shay has to move to Friendship and she has be married within a year. Enter Noah, who’s harbored a crush on Shay since high school, now a single dad and willing to help Shay with the terms of the inheritance. Shenanigans obviously ensue.

Things you’ll find in this book: - Single Dad with an awesome neurodivergent child - Awesome six year old that swears like a pirate - Small town - Marriage of convenience - Slow burn - Grouchy Farmer MC/Plus Sized FMC

Trigger/Content Warnings: - absentee parent(s) - brief mention of parent death - brief mention of parent chronic illness - mention of incarceration - mention of temporary foster care placement - reference to teenage teasing/bullying (not detailed, not explicit) - brief incidence of fat-shaming

Things I enjoyed:

“Just because I can plow through by myself doesn’t mean I want to,” I said. “Fuck, Shay. Let me need you, okay?”

Kate Canterbary is an instant buy for me, she is one of my favorite authors, and this book did not disappoint. I loved this book; it’s been nearly a week since I finished it, and I’m still not over it. There’s so much to say about why I loved it. I loved the chemistry between Noah and Shay, how seamlessly they form a family unit while still internally freaking out about the seamlessness of it. The thing I love about Kate’s books are that her characters have great communication. That when whatever the FMC or MC are hiding comes out, it isn’t a blow-up but a true conversation of feelings and truths.

That feelings are validated and are allowed to be felt, and this goes for both Shay and Noah. I loved the female friendships, the male friendships, and the friendships that start to form as the relationship takes shape. I loved how Shay takes the time she needs to understand her feelings and that Noah gives her the space to do that. I love that while Noah is firmly planted in his feelings, he doesn’t expect Shay to get there with him in that moment.

I just… there are so many feels I have about this book. But most of all I loved the fat joy in this book. That while there are incidences of fatphobia, it doesn’t overtake the entire plot or scene. That there’s only annoyance and confusion as to why someone thinks they have a say over someone else’s body and a reclaiming of that opinion. But it’s these brief scenes that just add to the book and to the characters.

“For reasons I’d yet to understand, this town was all too comfortable speaking about him unkindly and having the balls to do it to his face…That everyone felt it was acceptable to discuss is body was the strangest thing in the world to me. It would never make sense”

Overall: Look, I loved this book! I will never shut up about this book. And if you’re looking for a Kate Canterbary book to start with before diving into the Walsh universe and their shenanigans. Then this is perfect.

#In a Jam #Kate Canterbary #Romance #amreading #Bookstagram #bookwarm #bibliophile #reader #kindle #ebook #ARC #advanced readers copy #readers of tumblr #Small town romance #neurodivergent Child

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neuroticboyfriend · 1 year

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all your stuffed animals love you. they're not sad if they're in a box, or on the floor, or not held/played with as much. they understand. they know that you might need another stuffie more, or that you don't have enough space. they're just happy to be with you, and if you ever give them away, they'll be happy there too. stuffies are for comfort. they understand. they love you too. it's okay.

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littleprincessfawn · 1 month

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Well, looks like I'm home-schooling my child.

This isn't an abrupt decision it's the result of a gradual eroding away of my child's ability to function within the school system. Of me considering all the options and working with the school as best as I can. Of reading about how teachers in the Australian education system are burning out at lighting rates, leaving the profession in droves, and choosing to home-educate their own children.

My child can't do school anymore. He just can't. He tried so hard. He's brilliant and not being challenged in maths. He's struggling and not being given help in spelling. Going to school isn't what's best for him and it hasn't been for a few years now.

This is going to be hard. I literally have leukemia.

But it's going to be worth it. It's going to be good for him. I can finally stretch him as far as he can go with his maths skills. I can finally help him 'get' spelling. Because he's been going to school, there hasn't been enough time for me to teach him at home.

The main downside is the lack of social opportunities. So for that I'll find groups, after school activities, coding clubs, chess clubs, for him to join and socialize with. I'll get better myself so I can organize playdates for him.

When your kid explains school using the metaphor of Loki's torture with the water dripping on his head for eternity (that he picked up on YouTube, and which I believe was actually venom, and I told him everything I remembered about that myth, so hey, we're learning more things already) I feel that's a decent indication that the schooling system is not working for them.

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peachonified · 6 months

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I don't think I've ever met someone I would consider neurotypical

#i just sick of all the neurotypical slagging posts #when I'm not even sure it exists #this isn't to minimise the way peopl can be #have been #and are treated #but more my reaction to consider people rude and selfush jerks when they push all responsibility onto the way “neurotypicals” do things #someti.es yiu #neurodivergent child #are the arsehole #and given the social accomidations you expect #why don't you do the same for others #I'm tired and stressed and my patience is being pricked

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samwisethewitch · 7 months

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*takes your face gently in my hands and looks sincerely into your eyes* listen. your home does not need to look like a showroom. homes are meant to be lived in, and that means a certain amount of mess. it's okay if there is clutter on your desk or if you don't remember the last time you cleaned your oven. mess is morally neutral. but at the same time, you deserve to live in an environment that is safe and comfortable, and that means someone has to clean sometimes. things like mold, spoiled food, and dirty litter boxes are genuine health hazards and need to be dealt with before they make someone sick. think of cleaning less as "my home needs to be completely spotless" and more as "I am an animal and I need a habitat that is free of hazardous material." it's okay. *kisses you on the forehead and tucks you into a blanket*

(and of course it is always acceptable and even good for you to ask someone else to help you with cleaning if it's physically or mentally difficult for you. even if you're paying them to do it.)

#this post is for my inner child exclusively #cleaning #housework #homemaking #adulting #adulting tips #self care #adhd #actually adhd #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #mine #disabled #actually disabled #cottagecore #farmcore

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inkskinned · 7 months

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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

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yeetus-feetus · 3 months

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tim is still 17 because he is fae.

thats my new theory. i mean just look at his unsettling inhumanly blue eyes. thats a creature right there my guy. he hasn't aged physically but trust me he is at least 100 years old, that's a fae child right there.

he's been interested in Batman since he first appeared on the scene, he has newspaper clippings from when the Joker made his big entrance, he was there for all of Batman's early mistakes, he was there at the circus when Dick's parents fell.

there is almost a century knowledge behind those odd, reflective eyes. he knows things a 17 year old shouldn't, he has reflexes not even Batman himself has.

he moves wrong. something about him is just off. his team mates have it within good reason to think of him as some sort of Gotham cryptid.

Dick is convinced it's just autism because all the other bats are lmao. (it's a good cover for Tim so he goes along with it.)

#fae!tim #tim drake #fae character #he's definetly not pure blooded fae #but my boy is def part fae #this idea stems from the fact that neurodivergent kids were called fae children as an explanation for their oddness #so either tims parents are part fae too or he was swapped with a human child and took their place

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moonlit-typewriter · 3 months

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Percy desperately trying to tell his mom there’s something wrong with him while she’s telling him he’s “special” really hit me in the neurodivergent

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #pjo disney+#pjo tv show #pjo fandom #pjo ep 1 #walker scobell #percy series #the lightning thief #sally jackson #neurodivergent Percy Jackson #adhd Percy Jackson #my inner child took that personally #realistic representation #grover pjo #percy and grover #grover underwood #percy jackson and the olympians

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specialsaathi · 1 year

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Welcome to our new members in CreativeSaathi team

CreativeSaathi associates 1. Dhrov Tikoo 14 years, New Delhi (Visit my profile here..). Check Drov’s artwork displayed in SpecialSaathi online Art exhibition on 3rd December (international day of persons with disabilities) here…. Dhrov bagged second position (Age category 12+ to 16 years) in SpecialSaathi Children’s day Art competition, have a look at his Artwork here... Dhrov Tikoo…

View On WordPress

#ablednotdisabled #artexhibition #autismspectrumdisorders #autismtales #autusmJourney #International Day for persons with Disabilities #world&039;s Disability dayinclusive development #world’s disability day #art #art and craft #Autism #autism talks #AutismAwareness #creative Saathi #Neurodivergent #Neurodivergent Child #neurodiversity

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chronicsymptomsyndrome · 4 months

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Nobody is “too young” to be cynical or jaded or hate their life. There is no appropriate age for that. If someone is experiencing that at any age, their mental health is at risk. Doesn’t matter how young they are, or how easy their life seems. Just because existential dread didn’t hit you until later in life, doesn’t mean everyone else gets to be so lucky.

“You think life sucks now? Just wait until you’re grown” okay grandpa what if they don’t make it to adulthood? What if it gets worse until they only see one way out and they take it? Stop being dismissive. Stop forcing your problems onto young people and start taking them seriously about things. Period.

(Inspired by this post)

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pianokantzart · 6 months

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After reexamining Mario and Luigi's room, I wanted to expand on my theory about Luigi's photography hobby.

We've seen the digital camera and the little polaroids pinned to the wall, but there is also a microscope on his headboard. At first I thought it was a little out of place, since there was nothing else in the room that indicated a particularly strong interest in biological science (though I wouldn't rule out the possibility.)

However, there are digital camera adaptors for microscopes! so I'm thinking Lu has dabbled in the world of macro photography.

It makes sense to me. Luigi is shown to need a long amount of time to properly take in a new environment...

... but he also likes to pause and look really closely (often too closely) at things that catch his interest.

I can see these sorts of habits manifesting into a photography hobby. After all, if he has a picture he can look at things for as long as he wants, as closely as he wants, without annoying anyone or overstaying his welcome.

#super mario brothers #mario headcanons #mario movie #Luigi #I mean did you see the castle he built as a child?? this man LOVES his tiny details #neurodivergent af

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blueskittlesart · 10 months

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Can you draw child Zelda + Link playing knights? Either one or both would be adorable

i think the funniest version of these events is zelda trying to play knights with link all of 1 singular time before realizing he can't hold back to save his life and never trying to fight him again

#alternatively: me as a neurodivergent child taking pretend games WAY too seriously #asks #skribbles #oot #loz

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akko-kagori · 8 months

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This is just my way of telling you that I think Childe is neurodivergent

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin memes #genshin impact memes #genshin meme #genshin impact meme #ADHD #tartaglia gi #childe tartaglia ajax #tartagalia genshin impact #childe tartagalia #childe genshin impact #gi childe #childe gi #genshin childe #genshin humor #genshin funny #neurodivergent

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wheelie-sick · 2 months

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this is going to be a long post, it's kinda just me writing all my raw unfiltered thoughts on ABA therapy as someone who actually went through it

-> TW for ABA therapy, child abuse, suicide <-

I was functionally diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 but it wasn't until I was 13 that I was actually formally evaluated for it and given an official diagnosis. I was behind in social skills and developmental skills

[ID: "was also described as a sensory seeker. She does not currently have any friends and has struggled to make and maintain peer relationships throughout her childhood. Difficulties with social skills were initially noted when she was in preschool (years before the onset of clinically significant symptoms of anxiety and"]

[ID: "Social functions: [blank]'s mother also completed a questionnaire rating her social responsiveness. Her responses on the SRS-2 indicated that [blank] is demonstrating severe deficits in the areas of Social Communication (reciprocal social interaction and nonverbal and verbal communication), Social Motivation (motivation to engage in social-interpersonal behavior) and Social Awareness (perceiving social cues) and moderate deficits in the areas of Social Cognition (understanding social cues). Severe Repetitive and Restrictive Behaviors (stereotypical behaviors or highly restricted interests) were also reported. The total T-score on the SRS-2 indicates severe deficiencies in reciprocal behavior that are likely to result in interference in everyday social interaction"]

[ID: "%ile) are mildly impaired, while her social skills are moderately impaired (2nd %ile). By domain, demonstrates mildly to moderately impaired abilities in six adaptive skills areas, including self care (9th %ile), communication (5th %ile), home living (5th %ile), self-direction (2nd %ile), social (2nd %ile), and leisure (1st %ile)"]

and ultimately all this ended up with the number one recommendation after my autism evaluation being for ABA therapy.

[ID: "Recommendations: Based on the above results, the following recommendations are made for [blank] and her family.

1. ABA therapy: [blank] May benefit from an intensive treatment program to foster cognitive and communication skills, improve independence and adaptive functioning, and help manage interfering behaviors (i.e home-based, 1:1 instruction, task analysis, etc.) Most private and community programs are based on principals of operant conditioning and taught in home with 1:1 instruction"]

*I'm getting misgendered here. my pronouns are he/him

"operant conditioning"-- like a dog 🐕🐕. woof woof.

my mom didn't know any better so she put me in ABA therapy with the Center for Autism and Related Disorders. she regrets this. I regret this more.

my autism evaluation was cruel, it dissected all my flaws as if I was a bug under a microscope in a highschool laboratory. my evaluation was passed around to ABA therapists, a line of high schoolers peering through the microscope examining the most vulnerable parts of me.

and I choose the highschool analogy quite deliberately. most of the ABA therapists at my center were recent highschool graduates with no degree and little training. they knew nothing about autism and had no qualifications. you need more certificates to become a professional dog trainer than to become a professional human trainer.

"operant conditioning"

and I wish I could say it was just a poor choice of words but ABA therapy was dog training for children. my dad used to call me an "it" and somehow I felt less dehumanized by that than the entire experience I had in ABA therapy.

I was the oldest person at my center (I did not receive in home therapy) with the next oldest being approximately 3 years younger than me. at the time I felt babied. I was surrounded by 5 year olds and I was treated as if I was not just a 5 year old but an autistic 5 year old and anyone who has been a visibly autistic 5 year old knows what that feels like. I had escaped being an autistic child and now I was being treated like one again. The head of the program tried to console me by telling me adults received their services too.

[ID: "Following the principles of applied behavior analysis, CARD has developed a treatment approach for children and adolescents with"]

this was the first lie they told me. CARD does not work with adults.

I was not allowed the privileges of being a 13 year old. because I was an autistic 13 year old and therefore I was the equivalent of a 5 year old. I was in psychotherapy at the same time and I had grown very accustomed to some level of freedom in therapy. I was allowed to use the bathroom independently. in ABA therapy I was not allowed to use the bathroom independently. I tried once, me and my therapist were on an "outing" to the grocery store and I told my therapist I was going to the bathroom and walked off and I got a very stern talking to about how I needed to "stop eloping" and if I didn't stop it would "become a behavior"

eloping became a common theme used to control me and squeeze money out of my parents.

out of everything I hated in my life, including severe physical abuse at home (which they did not report), I hated ABA therapy the most. I would repeatedly make serious threats of suicide to try to get out of ABA. no one cared. everyone thought I was being dramatic but there were times I wrote out suicide notes and ABA was among the reasons I listed. ABA made me feel hopeless, depressed, revolting, disgusting, inferior, and less than human. between ABA, my home life, and my social life I had never felt so hated and it was boiling through my skin. I acted out, I was bullying people, I was behaving recklessly, I was starting fights, and all this only made the oppressive force of ABA crack down on me harder. I was a cat hissing in the corner begging to be left alone and ABA brought a net to try to tame me further. every time I scratched back it was listed as a reason I needed to be there.

I was "disruptive" and "rebellious" and "uncooperative" and "resistant to treatment" and no one could figure out why I was "regressing" despite me shouting the answer. I was screaming and no one was willing to hear me

I hated myself and my autism. my autism diagnosis made me want to die. I didn't feel freed by it or understood I felt ashamed and disgusted. I felt incompetent and like I had failed. I was ashamed to be at ABA, it was my biggest secret. I'd lie to my friends about why I couldn't hang out and I'd lie to people in public about who the woman I was with was and I'd lie about all of it to try to cover up my most shameful secret.

ABA therapy did nothing but foster this. In ABA therapy I was mocked for being autistic and what was happening only clicked when a young kid, maybe only 4 or 5, was flapping his hands and a therapist took out her phone and recorded him. we were circus animals. it was all an entertaining show to them while they poked and prodded at us with metaphorical hot irons to make us dance. the first time a therapist laughed at me for rocking back and forth I wanted to throw up. I almost did. it was systematic bullying of children I was forced to watch and experience.

my point is: the last place on earth I wanted to be was the ABA center.

so of course I tried to leave. my mom would bring me McDonald's and I'd beg, sobbing real tears, to leave early because only she could sign me out. every time I'd go to meet her I'd be marked as "eloping" and my hotel stay in hell would get extended.

my natural response to a stressful environment (leaving) was pathologized. I was eloping this way and that way and never once did I actually, truly elope. that word was a weapon used against me. they used my "elopement" to justify extending my stay to my parents. they ate it right up.

they argued I needed to stay there because I was making friends. this was true, I'm great at getting along with children it's part of why I want to go into pediatrics, but I had also made real friends with people my age at my highschool. ABA was getting in the way. I wanted to spend time with my friends outside of school but ABA took up all my time from the minute I left school to 6pm and all day on weekends. I was doing a full time job's worth of hours. I complained about how I was missing out on spending time with my real friends (as in, over the age of 7) and I was met with almost no wiggle room in my schedule. I was allowed to pre-plan time to spend with friends but every time my friend group wanted to do something spontaneously? I had to say no, and I had to lie about why. my friends would share stories about driving around town with 2 people in the group stuffed in the trunk, of hanging out in the woods together, of taking part in ordinary highschool activities as ordinary high schoolers and it made me cry because I was not an ordinary highschooler and I was not allowed to participate in ordinary highschool activities. I was one of those weird, unpleasant, socially awkward autistic people instead. eventually, they just stopped inviting me. I was forced into the out group by ABA.

I'll never get that back. I'll never get a chance to be a normal highschooler ever again.

when I did have time available to hang out with people I never had the energy to. at the time I was living with an undiagnosed physical disability and I was begging to see a doctor but no one would believe that it wasn't just anxiety. the people who believed me least of all were the people at the center.

I was constantly told I was trying to get out of therapy by "feigning" very real pain and fatigue. I tried to explain spoon theory, and that I had limited spoons, and in response they made a task for me to name things to "regenerate spoons" that's not how it works. I wasn't the only physically disabled person there. there was a wheelchair user who was constantly forced to stand for periods of time despite being in agony doing it. he wasn't allowed rewards until he did it.

rewards were used to train us like dog treats are used with dogs. sometimes the treats were fun! I'd get to cook, play Mario kart, and go on outings. other times the treats were "using the correct name and pronouns for me." I'd constantly be threatened with deadnaming and misgendering if I was being "noncompliant."

misgendering because of my autism was a theme in my life. my neuropsych evaluation report misgendered me. my parents misgendered me. the staff at ABA misgendered me. at one point the head of the program suggested that my "gender confusion" was because of my autism. my abusive father latched onto this and still claims that the reason I'm "confused" about my gender is because the evil transgenders tricked me into thinking I'm one of them because I'm autistic and therefore easily impressionable.

the two therapists I had were nice because I refused to work with the others. they weren't on a power trip and both eventually left because they realized the harm the organization was doing. other therapists were not so kind. other therapists were on a power trip, because in their mind lording over autistic 5 year olds (and autistic 14 year olds) makes them powerful and strong. occasionally I'd get stuck with one of the other therapists when my usual therapists were out. they would talk to me in a baby voice. they would make fun of me for rocking back and forth, for not making eye contact, for talking about Skyrim "too much" and generally just for being autistic.

I never really knew what I was supposed to be doing, just that I was doing it wrong. the therapists there rarely actually told me what my tasks were they'd just mark yes or no on them, judging me for something I wasn't aware of. I was never actually supposed to graduate, I was never supposed to get out, if they wanted me to succeed they would have taught and explained what was happening but I was intentionally left in the dark.

I continued threatening suicide to get out. no one took me seriously. I was seriously considering it. there's no happy conclusion where someone finally realized it was all wrong, or I figured out how to be allistic and graduated, or I felt more comfortable there. I only got out when covid struck and shut the center down. it's gone now, replaced by a family advice center. I hope their advice for autistic children is to never put them in ABA.

there is no grander message here just suffering. I'm sorry if you were expecting some sort of great point at the end of this. there's not one. it happened, I wish it didn't, and I hope no one else experiences what I did ever again.

okay to reblog

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #aba therapy #aba survivor #tw aba therapy #tw child abuse #tw suicide #ok to rb

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