#my brain is convincing me that i shouldn’t eat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

0cta9on · 2 months

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Unlikely Duet - 6

length: +7k words

Genre: Fluff

NewJeans Minji x Male Reader (OC)

(Author's Note: I could've taken another day to edit this, but I wanted to upload it asap so here it is :^) Hopefully my writing isn't too garbage and I hope y'all enjoy <3)

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★

Minji’s POV

I could do nothing but pace around my room, anxiety fueling every step. Danielle was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago to drive us to the fair, but on this particular day of all days, she decides to be late. My vice president, the one who I can lean on when I’m overwhelmed with responsibilities and even more of a stickler for rules and punctuality compared to me, is late.

The brunt of my morning was spent avoiding my parents like the plague, staying cooped up in my room and eating my meals as quickly as possible. To them, it probably seems like I’m giving them the silent treatment for what they said last night (which I’m still upset about), but in reality, I was riddled with anxious thoughts and simply avoided speaking in case I accidentally let it slip that I was planning on lying to them. I’ve done it tons of times before, but every single time is nerve wracking. While I hate that it’s gotten to this point, I owe a lot of my sanity to what I’ve been able to get away with by lying. Besides, it’s probably better this way - my parents still believe that I’m their perfect daughter and I still get to have some semblance of a social life.

Like the sonorous tones of a church bell, a resounding ding emits from my phone. They’re here. With shaky hands, I grab my tote bag from my bed and carefully tiptoe down the stairs. Right as I reach the front door, my father calls out to me from the living room.

“Minji? Where are you going?” He asks, a look of curiosity on his face.

“O-oh, uhh, I guess I forgot to tell you this but I was actually planning on going to the library to study with Danielle today.” I grin at him, trying my best to sound convincing. Our eyes lock as he studies my expression for what feels like an eternity. It might just be my stress causing my eyes to play tricks on me, but there seems to be a hint of sadness in his expression, as if he doesn’t want me to go. I shake it off and refocus on the task at hand.

“Well, I better get going-”

“Wait,” he interrupts before leaving the room for a moment. He comes back with a $20 bill in his hands and offers it to me. “Here.”

Panic began to set in. Did he find out I was actually going to the fair? If he did, why would he be giving me money? Shouldn’t he be angry at me for lying to him?

“Um, what’s this for? We’re just going to the library,” I reiterate in hopes that my initial worries were wrong.

“In case you two get hungry after, you should get some snacks. Food fuels the brain.” The relief I felt after he said those words is better than any award I got in my entire academic career up to this point. Normally it would raise red flags for my father to be doing something uncharacteristic like this, but I didn’t care. I’m just glad to almost be free.

“Thanks,” I say as I take the cash. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Don’t stay out too late. Don’t be messing around while studying. And-”

I shut the door behind me before I could hear the rest of his sentence. It was probably some other generic dad advice, like “Don’t talk to strange boys at night” or something like that. The sight of Danielle’s mom’s car parked on the other side of the street was like seeing a boat heading your direction after being stranded on an island for 15 years. Hanni beckoned me from the passenger’s side window, an excited grin painted on her face.

“Hurry up girl, let’s go!!” She shouted. As I open the door to the backseat, Hyein and Haerin wave back at me.

“Hi Minji!”

“Yo.”

“Hi guys, sorry, my dad wanted to talk to me before I left,” I replied as I got in the car. “Danielle, what took you so long, I was pacing around my room for the past 20 minutes anxious out of my mind!”

“I’m sorry, there was something I had to take care of before I could take my mom’s car,” she apologizes as she tampers with the rearview mirror, clearly annoyed with its inability to swivel properly.

Hanni pops her head from the front seat. “Okay y’all, we just need to take a deep breath and calm down. We’re going to the fair to chill out and have fun, let’s not let petty things like this ruin the day before it’s even started, alright?” Haerin and Hyein nod enthusiastically, peering over at me to gauge my reaction. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in order to allow my mind to forget about the stress from my morning. Today is the day that I get to let loose and forget about all the pressures I face in my regular life. Nothing else matters but having fun. As I open my eyes again, I am welcomed by the smiling faces of my four dearest friends (Danielle was especially happy about finally fixing the rearview mirror). My lips curl into a smile as I look back at them.

“Yeah, you’re right, Hanni,” I admit. “Okay, let’s go!!” We all cheer as Danielle steps on the gas. Hanni turns up the radio, blasting a loud pop song that blares out of the windows as we cruise through the neighborhood.

______________________________________________________________

The lights, the sounds, the smells, everything about the fair was overwhelming in the best way possible. Large groups of friends and families meandered along the concrete pathways, talking and laughing as they try their hand at classic carnival games or satiate their hunger with fried food and extravagant sweets. A giant ferris wheel sat in the background, the sunlight peeking through its rotors. A wave of nostalgia washes over me as I’m reminded of old family memories. Before they pressured me into trying to obtain some kind of impossible perfection, I used to be able to exist simply as their daughter, who they loved and played with like any other child.

“Hey Minji, are you okay?” Hyein asks me. I snap out of my thoughts to find the girls looking back at me with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about something,” I reassure them. “What do you guys wanna do first?”

“I don’t know Ms. President, what do you wanna do?” Hanni asks with a wide grin.

“Well, I guess we can-”

I freeze as I see a familiar face in the distance, intermingled with the crowd. Yuno is here. With the convenience store girl.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

“Where the hell did he run off to?” I grumble as I struggle to search for Yujin in the crowd. The fair was more overwhelming than I could’ve imagined - it was difficult navigating through the sea of strangers without accidentally rubbing elbows with them, all while trying to find oxygen through the constant stench of fried foods and sugar wafting through the air. At the very least, the lights were pretty to look at and I would be lying if I said the ferris wheel didn’t pique my interest.

Winter chuckles at my annoyance. “Relax, he’s just getting a corndog. See, he’s on his way over here right now,” she says, gesturing through a gap in the crowd. Lo and behold, Yujin skips towards us with a corndog in hand and a stupid grin on his face.

“Look what I got!” He presents his fried snack to us with the excitement of a child presenting a drawing to their parents. An ungodly amount of ketchup and mustard drips off the corndog, creating a gross glob of orange on the ground.

“Is that healthy?” Winter asks, concern laced in her voice. Her words fall on deaf ears as Yujin chomps off a large piece, covering his mouth in sauce. I chuckle in disbelief, both deeply disturbed and quietly impressed, while Winter hands him a pack of napkins from her purse.

I take the opportunity to look around at my surroundings again. As I gazed out amongst the crowd of smiling faces, I suddenly felt out of place in it all, like I wasn’t allowed to be here. Everything felt so foreign to me, I wasn’t sure if I should feel at ease or on edge. Whether it’s paranoia or just a hunch, I couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling at the back of my head.

“Hey Yuno?” Winter nudges me.

I turn my attention towards her. “What?”

“Isn’t that the student council president?”

My heart stops for a split second as I look down the other end of her finger. In the heart of the crowd is Minji, huddled around her friends. She’s wearing a simple outfit of a gray collegiate sweater and jeans, yet my eyes were naturally drawn to her like a magnet.

“Y-yeah, that’s her,” I stutter, trying to maintain composure.

“Mm, issa Danielle? Les go shay hi!” Yujin exclaims with a mouth full of food, running toward them before I could stop him.

“God dammit…”

“What’s wrong, do you not wanna say hi?” Winter asks as we follow the trail through the crowd Yujin left behind.

“It’s not that, it’s just… Whatever, let’s just go.” With every step I take, my heart rate begins to accelerate as, once again, fate pulls me towards Minji Kim.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

He’s coming this way!! Why is he coming this way?? Did he see me? Should I run? No, why would I run? Pull it together, Minji!! Maybe if I pretend I didn’t see him, he’ll just walk past me. Why would I do that?? Agh!!

“Ketchup… and mustard,” Haerin blurts out, drawing puzzled glances from the group. Suddenly, a boy wearing a white eyepatch emerges from the crowd, carrying a corndog smeared with red and yellow condiments.

“Danielle!!” He calls out, waving excitedly. “Hi!”

“Yujin? What are you doing here?” Danielle questions, a hint of surprise present in her voice.

“I’m with my friends!” The boy, Yujin, exclaims as Yuno and the convenience store girl appear behind him, drawing an impish grin from Hanni. I couldn’t help but feel underdressed when compared to convenience store girl’s flowery sundress and cardigan. “I didn’t expect to see you here too! This is great!”

“Uh yeah, I guess it is,” Danielle responds awkwardly before turning to us. “Um, this is Yujin, I’ve been helping him and his grandma out recently.”

“We’re friends!” He adds enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I suppose we are.”

I couldn’t help but giggle at Danielle’s uncharacteristic awkwardness. Normally, she’s the serious voice of reason that stays calm under pressure, yet here she was, looking like an embarrassed older sister flustered by the antics of her younger sibling.

“It’s nice to meet you, Yujin,” I greet warmly. “I’m Minji, also a friend of Danielle’s.”

“Oh, you must be the student council president!” He replies eagerly. “These are my friends, Yuno and Winter. Yuno might look a little scary, but don’t worry, he only fights bad guys. He helped me and Winter out before! And Winter is really shy, but she’s really nice once you get to know her!”

“H-hello,” Winter stutters with a polite smile, while Yuno offers a simple nod. A flush of warmth colors my cheeks as our eyes briefly meet before we both quickly avert our gazes. Unfortunately, Hanni notices this and stifles a laugh, making my cheeks grow even warmer with embarrassment.

“Hello, I’m Hyein!” Our youngest chimes in. “This is Haerin, and that over there is Hanni! It’s nice to meet you all!”

As the group falls into casual conversation, I can’t help but peer over at Yujin’s eyepatch and be reminded of my conversation with Yuno last night. Despite his injuries, he’s chock full of energy and vibrancy that contrasts with Yuno’s usual solitary and soft-spoken demeanor. The difference in their personalities is cute in a way. Winter, on the other hand, shares many similarities with Yuno. Like him, she’s very soft-spoken and a little awkward, but has an aura of kindness around her despite that. I imagine the two of them got along well because of this - for some reason, this fact irks me.

“Since we’re all here to let loose at the fair, why don’t you guys join us? The more the merrier I always say, isn’t that right, Minj?” Hanni says, nudging my ribs with her elbow. I didn’t even have to look at her to know what kind of face she’s making.

Coincidentally, my eyes meet Yuno’s once again, and I quickly break away as I think of what to say. I would hate to butt into Yuno’s time with his friends, but a voice in the back of my head was telling me otherwise.

“Yeah, you guys can join us if you want to,” I say as I give into the voices. My lips curl into a smile, but inside, I couldn’t shake the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Yuno appears taken aback at my answer as a slight pinkish hue grows on his cheeks. The group moves through the crowd looking for what to do first with Yujin leading the way and Yuno trailing close behind. I stay in the back, letting my complicated feelings fester.

“H-hello, Minji.” Winter’s soft voice interrupts my thoughts, and I turn to find her trailing behind the group alongside me. Her simple makeup look is subtle, yet it perfectly accentuated her natural beauty. Pair that with her cute outfit and she could have any guys she wants. A shiver went through my spine at the thought.

“What’s up?” I ask, trying my best to act natural.

“I just wanted to ask if you’re doing okay. I never got the chance to after what happened that night.”

My mind flashes back to when Yuno and Winter had saved me from that drunk man a couple days ago. I was too terrified and too weak to protect myself, yet this timid girl jumped in front of him to protect me. And here I am, feeling all weird because I think she looks prettier than me.

“I’m doing fine now. Thanks again for that, I owe you one,” I express.

She quickly shakes her head at my offer. “Y-you don’t have to do that. If you want, I can give you a can of pepper spray. I have a couple more of them at home.”

A chuckle escapes my lips, and Winter seems to loosen up at this. “I might have to take you up on that offer,” I say, half-jokingly. A wave of shame washes over me as I suddenly felt bad for being jealous of her. Maybe the events of this morning still have their effects on me or maybe I ate something bad earlier, but something feels off with me today and I’m not sure why.

“Guys, look over here!” Yujin shouts excitedly from the front of the group, pointing at a giant Spider-man plush sitting on a prize table for a basketball game. Two basketball hoops stood tall before him, much higher than a regular basketball hoop. “I HAVE to get this for my room!” He quickly pays the game attendant, who places three basketballs on the counter in front of him.

“Alright, the game is simple. All you have to do is make at least one basket and you get a prize,” the worker explains. Yujin takes the first ball and psyches himself up, giving the ball a couple dribbles before throwing it… And completely missing the hoop.

“Aw man,” he groans in disappointment. “Yuno, why don’t you try?”

Yuno accepts the challenge, gripping the second ball with steely determination. I watch with bated breath as the ball leaves his hands. It soars high into the sky… and completely misses the hoop. The ball shoots way over the hoop and ends up knocking a corndog out of someone’s hand. The girls and I struggle to stifle our laughter as Yuno’s cheeks turn a bright red.

“A-ah… Shit…” He curses under his breath. “M-maybe Winter should try…”

Winter steps forward, her hands shaking as she grips the final ball. We all freeze with anticipation as she shoots the ball towards the hoop. Miraculously, it arcs perfectly in the air and lands through the hoop with a satisfying swoosh. A scattered array of claps and cheers erupt from some bystanders that witnessed that moment, but none are as ecstatic as Yujin, who jumps and cheers with the excitement of a kid on his birthday.

“Congratulations, ma’am! Which prize would you like?” The worker asks her.

“T-the Spiderman p-please,” Winter stammers, accepting the toy and handing it to Yujin.

“Ahhh!!! Winter, you’re the best!!!” He screams, drawing a variety of reactions from passersby. Yuno flashes her a quick thumbs up while Hyein, Haerin, and Hanni shower her with compliments, which Winter modestly tries to brush away with a bashful smile. Meanwhile, Danielle is occupied with trying to contain Yujin’s overflowing energy.

“M-my dad really likes basketball, so he made me play w-when I was younger. I-it’s nothing really,” Winter explains. She’s kind, pretty, AND athletic? It’s almost as if God himself created the perfect person and placed them in front of me on a day I decided not to dress up. There’s no wonder I felt jealous of her. But why am I jealous of her?

“Are you okay?” Yuno asks me.

I startle slightly at his sudden appearance. “H-huh? Yeah, why?” I awkwardly chuckle. Yuno’s gentle gaze meets mine with genuine concern, momentarily distracting myself from my swirling thoughts. I found myself wanting to draw closer and get lost in his irises.

What?! Minji, what are you even thinking?! Have you gone insane?!

“You look… upset,” he admits shyly. “I just wanted t-”

Suddenly, a basketball bounces off of the other hoop and hurtles towards Winter. In a flash, Yuno turns and catches the ball right before it hits her in the face, his gentle expression replaced with a stern glare at the person who threw the ball.

“Watch it,” he growls in a calm yet menacing tone as he tosses the ball back. His face immediately softens as he turns back to Winter. “You alright?”

“Y-yeah. Thanks, Yuno,” she answers with an appreciative smile. I felt my heart drop from my chest as I watched their interaction, confusion and envy creating a storm in my mind.

“Sooooooo, you gonna make a move or no?” I jump as Hanni startles me from behind.

“W-what??” I sputter.

“I recognize that face anywhere. You’re jealous~.”

Heat creeps up my face as I struggle to find the words to explain myself. “Wha- I am not jealous!” I seethe, trying to keep my voice down. “I’m just… impressed by his reaction timing.”

“Mhm,” she hums, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I’m impressed by how close they look. Don’t you think they would make a cute couple, Minj?”

Her words leave a bitter taste in my mouth. “Y-yeah, I’m sure they would,” I reply, unconvincingly. “W-whatever, like I said I’m not jealous.”

“Oh sweet, sweet Minji,” Hanni sighs, shaking her head as she pats my shoulder. She follows the rest of the group as they move on, leaving me to watch Yuno and Winter as they walk side by side. No matter how hard I try, I can't rationalize this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see them together. I need to do something, but I don’t know why.

______________________________________________________________

We spent the next hour walking around, playing all the fair games, and filing our stomachs with an array of different snacks the fair offers. I tried to enjoy myself, but the pit in my stomach continued to grow and grow until it became unbearable. I even started to consider Hanni’s words, but no amount of inner turmoil would make me go that insane.

As the sun dipped low, casting an enchanting orange hue over the fairgrounds, it seemed like the perfect time to watch the sunset from atop the ferris wheel. As excited as I am to be able to watch the sunset, I still couldn’t get rid of this weird feeling as I watched Yuno chat with Winter and Yujin at the front of the group. Hanni seemed to notice this too.

“Girl, you look miserable,” she remarks, resting her chin on my shoulder with a sympathetic pout. “You’re supposed to be having fun.”

“I-I am having fun. This is my ‘having fun’ face.” I flash her a forced grin in a feeble attempt to mask my true feelings. Hanni sighs heavily right as we reach the front of the line.

“Each cabin only fits two people, so you’ll have to split into groups of two,” the ride operator explains. Naturally, Hyein and Haerin pair up together, waving excitedly at us as they eagerly step into the first cabin.

“Yuno, do you wanna ride together?” Yujin asks him. Before he could answer, however, Hanni takes matters into her own hands and pushes Danielle into Yujin.

“Hey Yujin, did you know Danielle is really scared of heights? She needs a big strong man protecting her while she’s up there.” Danielle silently curses at her with her eyes as Hanni pushes the duo into the next cabin. My eyes go wide with panic as I suddenly catch onto her plan.

“Winter, I love your dress! Let’s chat about it on the ferris wheel!” Hanni exclaims as she grabs Winter’s hand, pulling her towards the open doors of the cabin. Right before the doors close behind them, I catch a glimpse of Hanni flashing me a thumbs up. My heart threatened to explode from my chest as I found myself left alone with Yuno.

“S-soooooo… U-um, do you wanna, um, I-I gues-”

“Let’s go,” Yuno utters as walks ahead of me into the cabin. I mentally facepalm, cringing at my sudden inability to formulate a coherent sentence. I step into the cabin and sit across from Yuno. As the doors seal shut, the space suddenly felt a lot smaller and more intimate. I gaze out at the orange glow of the sun to distract myself, both mortified and oddly blissful.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

My heart kept chugging like a speeding steam train, I worried that Minji could hear it echo off the walls of the cabin. Throughout the day, I could feel her gaze lingering on me and I don’t know why. Did she wanna talk about yesterday? Was something on her mind? Was there something in my hair? Did I smell? I would’ve showered before I left the house if I knew I was gonna bump into her.

A strange feeling fills my chest as I observe the way the sunlight reflects off of her skin. The same feeling that had been haunting me for the past couple of days. Minji constantly invades my thoughts, stirring emotions I couldn’t comprehend. Everything about her felt new and strange, but I couldn’t deny that being around her made me feel happy. I drop my gaze to the floor as she turns to me, hoping she didn’t catch me staring.

“Sooo…” She began, filling the silence. “Winter seems nice.”

I tilt my head in confusion at her sudden interest in Winter. “Uh, yeah. I guess so.”

“How’d you two meet?” She asks with an odd amount of intrigue

For the most part, Minji is an open book. I never have to guess what she’s thinking or feeling, and unlike her parents, she never seems to be hiding some ulterior motive beneath a gentle exterior - until now. At first, I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but being the open book she is, it became clear as day that Minji was hiding something. But why? Maybe it wasn’t my place to pry, but my instincts told me otherwise.

“We have english together, but we didn’t start being… ‘friends’ until a couple days ago. She and Yujin kinda just… inserted themselves into my life. And now we’re here,” I explain. Minji’s brow furrows in response.

“Wait, you only started talking a couple days ago? I thought you two were dating.” She hurriedly clasps her hand over her mouth as if she didn’t mean to let that out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“We’re not dating,” I say a little too quickly. “Just friends.”

The cabin falls silent as both of our cheeks turn a light crimson. Minji turns back to the window, and my eyes gravitate towards her face once again as if that’s where they’re meant to be. The light and the shadows dance on her skin creating a work of art right in front of me. She’s beautiful in the most impossible way, defying everything I know about the world just by existing. My heart pumps faster and faster as my mind begins to run wild, imagining the two of us together as more than friends. Going on dates and being close. Just like this. Maybe Minji wanted to know if Winter and I were dating because she’s interested in me. I quickly shot that idea down. Those kinds of thoughts only lead down a bad road.

“My parents used to take my brother and I to the fair when we were younger,” Minji says, snapping me out of my daze. “We would go around and play all the games, trying to win the prizes. The games were always rigged, so we never won any. One time, I got so upset that I couldn’t win a bear toy that I started crying. My dad ended up paying extra just so he could get me the bear.” A gentle smile graces her face as she recounts her memory.

“We would always ride the ferris wheel at the end so we could watch the sunset from the top of the ferris wheel, just like this. I was always too short, so my dad had to hoist me up so I could see through the window.” She chuckles lightly before her smile eventually fades from her lips and her gaze falls to the floor. “Sorry, being here must have made me nostalgic. It’s been awhile since I got to watch the sunset from a ferris wheel.”

“Don’t be sorry. I like hearing you talk.” My eyes grow wide with panic as I realize the implication of my words. “I-I meant I like you. I MEAN YOUR STORY!! I liked your story…” My face falls into my palms in an attempt to hide the deepening blush, and I let out a muffled “Fuck” under my breath. I can hear Minji trying to stifle her laughter, which only makes me feel worse. I wanted nothing more than to bury myself six feet under and stay there for eternity.

“I know what you mea- AHHH!!!”

I jolt my head up right as Minji jumps from her seat and into my lap. Bewilderment, accompanied by a million other emotions, runs through my mind as she wraps her arms around my head and hides her face in the crook of my neck.

“M-Minji, uhh w-what are you-”

“There’s a spider on the seat!” She exclaims, her voice tingling with fear. I maneuver my head around her and see the tiniest spider I’ve ever seen scurrying around the spot where Minji once sat. “Ahhh, I really hate spiders!!”

I try to pry her body off of me, but her grip is tighter than an anaconda. A wave of deja vu washes over me as I suddenly start to feel lightheaded.

“M-Minji… Y-you’re choking m-me…” Right before I feel like I’m about to blackout, Minji releases her grip on my neck and slides off of my lap into the space next to me. The seat is a little cramped, but it’s better than dying in such an embarrassing way.

“I-I’M SO SORRY, YUNO!!” She apologizes, her face a bright tomato red. She flinches as the spider continues to move around on the opposite seat, wincing with each movement. “I-I really, really, really, REALLY hate spiders.”

Even after she almost choked me to death, I couldn’t help but find her cute as she shields her eyes with delicate hands, her face nestled into my shoulder. A grin threatens to grow on my lips as I try to comfort her with a few gentle pats on the head.

“I used to be afraid of spiders when I was a kid,” I began in a calming tone. “Whenever I saw one, I always cried to my parents about it. One day, I found one in the bathroom, so I ran to my mom sobbing and told her to kill it. Instead of killing it, she held me in her arms and carried me to the bathroom where it was. I was just like you, hiding my face on her shoulder because I was too scared to even look at it. In a gentle voice, she told me about how it was alone and probably looking for its family. If I killed it, then its family would be sad. She told me that she would be sad if I was suddenly killed when I was out all alone. From that day on, I was never afraid of spiders. Every time I saw one, I would carry it outside so it could find its family.”

I chuckle under my breath. “I don’t think it actually works like that, but I don’t kill spiders because of her. Because of my mom.”

As I finish my story, I notice Minji’s eyes watering and her lip quivering as if she’s about to cry. “Ah shit, are you okay?” I ask with great concern.

“S-Sorry, that was just… really sweet,” she sniffles. I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile as I simultaneously fought the urge to wipe her tears away. As she calms down, we sit together in silence, watching the tiny spider walk around the cabin.

“He’s just a little guy,” Minji utters, a cute grin on her face. “I wonder why I was so scared of you before.”

Just then, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I open up the notification to see a selfie of Yujin and Danielle with the giant Spiderman plush wedged in between them. Despite Danielle’s awful personality, Yujin seems to like her, so I guess it’s alright. If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve easily mistaken them for siblings.

“Aww, that’s cute. We should send one back,” Minji suggests, her eyes lighting up.

“O-oh, uh, sure. How do I…” After a minute of hopelessly fumbling through the labyrinth of options on the screen, Minji gently takes the phone from me and opens up the camera with a simple tap.

“Do you know how to use a phone, Yuno?” She teases.

“U-uh, no…” I answer, scratching the back of my head in embarrassment. Her eyes widened with surprise at my response. “It’s my first phone, and I just got it today so I haven’t really had a chance to properly look through it.”

“O-okay, well just press on this gray square over here if you wanna open up the camera,” she explains in a kind tone, free of any judgment. She raises her arm and I can see the two of us reflected onto the screen. “Scoot a little closer so we can both be in the frame.”

With a gulp, I scoot closer to her in the already cramped space. The flowery scent of her hair wafts through my nostrils, gentle and clean. Hypnotized by the scent, I don’t realize I’m staring at her until she nudges me with her elbow.

“Look at the camera,” she reminds me, a knowing smile playing on her lips. The phone camera manages to catch the redness of my cheeks as I glance back at my reflection. Minji snaps a few shots before reviewing her work.

“They came out pretty well, don’t you think?” She inquires, and I can only nod in agreement, despite my less-than-stellar appearance in the photos. Minji, on the other hand, looks as pretty as ever. Even when she’s not doing much, the camera seems to pick up on all her good sides. She fiddles with my phone for a little bit before handing it back to me.

“Here, I put my number in so you can send me the photos,” she says. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“N-not at all,” I stutter excitedly, my heart soaring in the air. Minji giggles at my elation and we share a laugh in that cramped ferris wheel cabin. In that moment, as the sunset bathes us in its warm glow, everything falls into place. The weird feelings, the incessant thoughts - they all lead to one undeniable truth. I’m in love with Minji Kim.

______________________________________________________________

As I step out of the cabin, I see the rest of our friends waiting for us at the front of the ferris wheel. Instinctively, I reach my hand out towards Minji as she carefully steps out, which she accepts with a small grin adorning her lips. Though the contact is brief, the memory of her delicate hand in mine etches itself into my memory.

“Soooooo, did you two have fun?” Hanni asks us with an unnerving smirk that could only mean trouble. Before I get a chance to answer however, Minji grabs her wrist and leads her away.

“I-I’m going to the bathroom, Hanni you’re coming with me!” Her voice echoes as she drags Hanni away, trailed by the rest of her friends like ducklings following their mother. Perplexed, Winter, Yujin, and I settle onto a nearby bench to rest in the shade.

“The ferris wheel was fun, I took a lot of pictures of the sunset!” Yujin shares, displaying the photos on his phone. Almost his entire gallery was full of sun from slightly varying angles, along with a few selfies with Danielle. Her gentler side she exclusively shows to Yujin is such a stark contrast from her usual coldness, it’s almost unsettling.

“I feel exhausted.” Winter slumps beside me, her head tilting to the side as if she was too tired to even hold it up. “Hanni is really nice, but I felt so drained after talking to her for five minutes. I don’t know where she gets all that energy from.” I quietly snicker to myself. That seems on brand for Hanni.

My mind wanders back to the epiphany I had earlier. “Um, can I ask you two something… odd?” Their heads perk up, looking at me expectantly. “Have you guys ever… ‘dated’ anyone before?”

“I’ve had crushes before, but I was always too scared to confess,” Yujin admits.

“What about you, Winter? Have you ever had a boyfriend?” I ask.

“Um, not exactly…” With a hint of reluctance, she retrieves her phone from her purse, revealing a polaroid tucked in her phone case - a snapshot of Winter with her arms wrapped around a girl with striking eyes and jet black hair.

Both of our jaws drop, simultaneously shocked and impressed.

“Oh shit…” I mutter before coming to my senses. She’s pretty, but not Minji pretty.

“Wow, that’s your girlfriend, Winter?!” Yujin exclaims. Winter smiles shyly as she puts her phone back in her purse.

“Y-yeah. She’s studying in Japan right now, so I don't get to see her often. I hope she visits soon; I think you guys would get along with her really well.” The look on her face as she thinks of her girlfriend reminds me of my mother’s face in old wedding photos. I don’t understand anything about love or relationships, but that face told me everything I needed to know. “Why did you want to know, Yuno?”

My cheeks suddenly turn warm. “Oh, uh… No reason.”

As if on cue, Minji and the rest of her friends return from the restroom, with Minji looking noticeably flustered and Hanni more excited than ever.

“It’s getting dark, so we were planning on heading back,” Danielle says. “Do you guys need a ride home?”

“O-oh, it’s okay, w-we were gonna take the subway home,” Winter replies.

“WAIT!” Yujin shouts suddenly before turning to her. “Winter, can we ride with them? Pleaseeeeee?” He grabs her sleeve and looks up at her with pleading eyes.

“I-I guess if it’s okay with them.” “WOOHOO!” Yujin cheers. “I call shotgun!” He dashes toward the parking lot, his Spiderman plush bobbing in his arms.

“Hey, that’s my seat!” Hanni exclaims, running after him. In the midst of commotion, I sneak over to Minji.

“H-hi,” I stutter, brimming with nervous excitement.

“H-hey.” Even with the sun completely set, her smile manages to illuminate everything around us. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but the air felt different compared to the times we’ve talked before. That strange yet euphoric feeling still lingers in my chest, this time I finally know what that feeling is - I think. Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s the fumes of fried food decaying my brain. The only thing I know for sure is that I like being around Minji.

“Are you two going to come with us or no?” Hyein calls out to us while Haerin glares suspiciously in our direction. Flustered, we walk side by side towards the parking lot, following distantly behind the rest of the group. The scattered murmurs of the crowd begin to fade behind us, the chirping of crickets and the subtle crunching of rocks underneath our feet taking their place. An ombre of growing indigo looks down at us from a cloudless sky, dotted with specks of starlight thousands of lightyears away. Despite their distance, they shine brightly against the night sky, almost as bright as the girl walking next to me.

“Yuno,” Minji voice breaks through my daydreams, pulling me back to the present. “You’re staring.”

“Ah… Sorry…” I turn my head away to hide the heat creeping up my face, prompting a soft giggle from her.

“You know, you’re not what I expected at all.”

Curious, I turn my gaze back towards her. “What do you mean?”

Her eyebrows furrow as she thinks about her response, and I bite my lower lip to stifle my smile at her cute expression. “Ever since sophomore year, I’ve always heard whispers about this scary guy that goes around fighting people. I never believed it because I thought it was too cliche to be true,” she begins, shooting me a playful glance I scratch the back of my head, suddenly feeling sheepish.

“That is, until two years later, when I come face to face with the ‘scary guy’, all bloody and bruised from a fight that happened two seconds ago. When I first met you, I thought you were some jerk who liked hurting others for the fun of it. I was wrong and I’m sorry.” Minji looks up at me, eyes full of remorse. I’ve seen others use this look on the people I’ve hurt, but never on me. To be on the receiving end of it felt disconcerting.

“You don’t have to apolog-”

“You’re kind and caring and you never hesitate to stand up for what’s right even when no one else will. While I don’t agree with your methods, I think the reason why you fight is very admirable, and if people just stopped being scared of you for two seconds, they could see how cute of a person you are.” Her hand shoots up to her mouth while her eyes go wide with panic.

Did I hear her right? Did she just call me… cute??

“I MEANT GOOD!!” She exclaims, correcting herself. “I meant to say you’re a good person…” We stand there, turned away from each other, too embarrassed to fill the growing silence. The chorus of crickets is quickly drowned out by my heartbeat echoing in my ears. My entire body feels both uncomfortably warm and freezing cold at the same time. The sudden honk of a car horn makes us both jump.

“What are you two still doing? Let’s go!” I turn to see Hanni yell at us from the back seat of an SUV. It seems that Yujin got to the front seat first. Minji and I both trudge towards the car, too embarrassed to even look at each other. Hanni steps out of the car and reclines the seat forward to let us get into the back, where Winter is sitting alone with two empty seats on either side of her.

As we settle in the back seat, I immediately shut my eyes, hoping that falling asleep would make things better. One final thing stays in my mind as I slip into unconsciousness.

She thinks I’m cute.

______________________________________________________________

A gentle shake rouses me from my slumber.

“Yuno, we’re here,” I hear Winter say as my eyes slowly open, finding my bearings. Outside the window, I see the convenience store where Winter works at.

“Winter said you guys live around here, so I hope you don’t mind,” Danielle explains from the front seat. Minji and Hanni step out of the car, allowing for Winter and I to exit.

“See you guys around,” Hanni says, waving goodbye. My eyes meet Minji’s momentarily before we swiftly break away. Not even a second of eye contact and I can already feel my body temperature rising.

“Thanks for the ride! Byeeeeee!” Yujin exclaims as the car disappears down the street. The three of us say our goodbyes to each other before we go our separate ways.

A flurry of emotions fills my stomach as I look back on the oddly eventful day. What started as an excuse to get out of the house turned into my first time at the fair, with Minji no less. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m in some surreal dream and that I’ll wake up one day to find out that none of this ever happened. As odd as all of this feels, I have to admit that I did enjoy it. The ferris wheel especially was… fun.

As I enter my house, I see my dad sitting on the couch, watching some sitcom on the TV. Right. I completely forgot he’s “different” now.

“Hey, Yuno,” he greets, a bright smile on his face. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve seen his smile. “Did you eat? There’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry. I tried to cook dinner, but it didn’t turn out right.” A hearty chuckle leaves his lips, a sound that I vaguely remember hearing years ago.

“I’m good. Thanks,” I say as I head towards the stairs. As my foot lands on the first step, a sudden impulse arises within me. “Uh, dad?”

“Hm?” His eyebrows perk up as he looks at me expectantly. I had no idea what I was planning on saying to him. Should I tell him about my day? Should I apologize? Should I tell him about my… “crush”? Is that what that is?

“Uh… Nevermind.” I hurry up the stairs, deciding against saying anything. My head was already filled to the brim with confusing emotions, I didn’t need to add more to the pile. I collapse onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling, the events of today playing in my mind like a broken record. I pull my phone out, fidgeting with the shiny piece of metal in my hand. Minji put her number in my phone. I can talk to her whenever I wanted to. And I do want to. My thumbs freeze right above the keyboard as I figure out what to say to her.

Maybe I should keep it simple with “Hey”. No, that’s too boring. How about “How are you feeling?” What am I, her doctor? Uhhh, maybe “I had fun today.” That’s stupid. Come on, think, Yuno, think. Fuck, I’m shit at this.

Is this what having a crush feels like? This sucks.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

“AGHHHHHHHHH!!!!” I scream into my pillow, hoping I don’t accidentally alert my parents to my “Teenage Angst”.

Minji!!! Why did you call him cute!? I mean, you’re not wrong, the way he got all embarrassed after missing the basketball hoop was kinda cut- WHAT!? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING RIGHT NOW!? ARGHHHHHH!!!

I hold onto my bear toy for comfort as I wrestle with the conflicting emotions in my head. Maybe this is just a result of all the stress from prom preparation clouding my judgement and sending me into a whirlwind of confusion. A day that was supposed to be full of leisure and enjoyment was instead full of jealousy and confusion. It wasn’t entirely bad though; riding the ferris wheel with Yuno was… nice. I feel my heart flutter in my chest as I recall that memory. Surely, Hanni’s teasing couldn’t be right… could it? Am I… in love with Yuno Lin?

#newjeans #kim minji #newjeans minji #kpop fanfic #kpop gg #minji x male oc #newjeans minji x male oc #minji x male reader #newjeans minji x male reader #fluff #minji fluff #newjeans minji fluff

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certifiedcallahanstan · 2 months

Text

The memoir of a horny fangirl

chapter 2

Warnings: This is a pretty heavy chapter, it shows a really vulnerable side to Hazel and the shitty side of the reader. I had to get this chapter done, so the rest can be lighter and more *spicy*. The next chapter will get back to baseball hazel!!

This chapter contains: sa

It’s been a couple days since you had received the picture and you know you shouldn’t be upset, Hazel is a grown woman and is allowed to kiss whomever she wants, it’s not like you two are together anyways. That however doesn’t stop you from trying to avoid her.

P.J invites you to the coffee shop with Josie and Brittany to do quote on quote “studying” which really means she wants to talk to you all about her latest hook up.

Despite your initial reluctance, you find yourself getting caught up in the conversation.

“and i mean it wasn’t a fucking normal sized strap, that shit was like- fucking xxl” P.J moves her hands at least a feet apart from eachother trying to demonstrate the size and josie scrunches up her nose.

“I don’t need to hear that P.J, you keep that to yourself” she huffs and you cover your mouth trying to stop a laugh from escaping.

For a brief moment, the weight of your emotions regarding Hazel and the photo fade into the background as you lose yourself in the conversation until eventually Brittany convinces everyone that we should probably study.

You pull out your notes adorned with doodles of different sea creatures and facts about them when you hear a familiar voice approach the table.

“Hey guys” the voice that belongs to the shaggy brunette starts “Josie told me you all were studying and that..” she looks at her phone reading the text “We are about to kill P.J, please come before one of us commits a felony”

P.J just responds with a huff a mutters something along the lines of “you all are just mad i get more hoes” as Hazel pulls out a chair and joins the group.

You scoot slightly more away from Hazel hoping nobody will notice. unfortunately these chairs are millenniums old and makes and obnoxious screeching noise

You cringe inwardly, feeling a flush of embarrassment creep up your cheeks as all eyes turn in your direction.

Hazel's gaze flickers briefly in your direction, her brow furrowing in confusion at the sudden noise.

"Sorry about that," you mumble, offering a sheepish smile as you try to play off the noise. "These chairs are... uh, not the most cooperative."

Everyone seems to accept that excuse as they get back to their previous tasks. You start shading in the sea creature you were previously drawing in your journal when you feel P.J looming over you.

“what the fuck knuckles is that” she says as she points at your drawing

you look down at a your notebook where you had draw what looks like a eel-shark hybrid

“it’s called a frilled shark” you start explaining as all eyes look at you “they get their name from the frilly appearance of their gill sets. In fact they’re one of the few sharks that eat their prey whole…”

You trail off awkwardly, realizing that you may have gone a bit overboard with your explanation when you see everyone blankly staring at you. Clearing your throat, you try to steer the conversation back on track.

"Anyway, um... yeah, it's just a cool creature I thought I'd draw," you finish lamely

“I think it’s sick”

you turn your head to the voice and see Hazel smiling at you “i mean a shark that moves like an eel?”

"Yeah, exactly!" you respond, a smile spreading across your face as you meet Hazel's gaze. "It's pretty fascinating how they've adapted to their environment."

fuck why does she have to be so damn irresistible.

your thoughts are cut off by the slamming of a text book and you see Brittany getting up “my brain feels all mushy, im going home to take a nap”

Josie nods, putting her computer in her back pack “i should probably get back to Isabel” and P.J mutters something about going to “fuck then duck” whatever that means.

Soon enough it’s just you and Hazel, you try to ignore the tension, but damn it’s so thick you could cut it with a knife.

For a moment, neither of you speaks, the silence stretching between you as you both seem lost in your own thoughts. You fidget nervously, unsure of what to say.

Finally, Hazel clears her throat, breaking the silence with a hesitant smile. "So... um, how have you been?" she asks, her voice soft and tentative.

You swallow, trying to push aside the swirling emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. "I've been okay," you reply, your voice slightly strained. "Just... you know, trying to stay busy with school and stuff."

and not making out with random red heads and getting chlamydia you add in your head.

Hazel nods, her gaze flickering briefly as she seems to search for the right words. "Yeah, I get that," she says quietly “hey um..have you been avoiding me? i’ve tried to text you but you haven’t answered and everytime i try to come up to you you walk the opposite direction”

your jaw clenches as you start putting everything in your shark printed back pack “what reason would i have to avoid you Hazel” your voice tinged with frustration and hurt.

she runs her ringed fingers through her hair and you try not to notice the prominent veins “that’s what i’m trying to figure out, did i do something?”

“not everything is about you callahan” you grunt out as you try to gather all your loose papers

“here let me help-“

“i don’t need your help” you shove her arm away and in the process her hand hits an open water bottle spilling water all over your notebook. the notebooks that has three years worth of research in it

A sense of panic washes over you as you scramble to salvage what you can, frantically wiping at the water with trembling hands. Hazel watches helplessly, her expression a mixture of concern and regret.

"I'm sorry," she says softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to... I was just trying to..."

You cut her off with a sharp gesture, your own frustration boiling over as you struggle to contain your emotions. "Just... leave me alone, Hazel," you mutter, your voice thick with emotion.

she steps back as her eyebrows knit together “this wouldn’t have happened if you just let me help. Maybe instead of pushing people away talk to them”

You can see the hurt etched in her features, and for a moment, you feel a pang of guilt tug at your conscience.

"I'm sorry, I just..." you begin, your voice catching in your throat as tears threaten to spill from your eyes. With a heavy sigh, you toss your notebook into the trash and sling your backpack over your shoulder

"I have to go," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as you turn away, unable to face Hazel in that moment. With each step you take, the distance between you and Hazel grows, the ache of regret gnawing at your heart.

Hazel just presses her lips together and nods before you see the same red head from the photo calling her name in an annoying high pitched voice.

You watch in silence as Hazel hesitates, her eyes briefly searching yours for any sign of a response. Before you can gather your thoughts, she turns away, putting on a fake smile as the red-headed girl approaches.

"What's up, Becca?" she says, her tone polite but strained, the artificiality of her smile not escaping your notice.

you turn away, knowing that it's not your place to intervene in Hazel's personal life. And also if you stayed there someone would be getting punched in the face, and here’s a hint. it wasn’t going to be you.

—————————————

“Did you say sorry at least?” Isabel ask as you lay upside down on her bed, letting the blood flow rush to your head to try to forget about what Josie now calls “they great water incident” that happened last week

"Yeah, I did," you reply with a sigh, your voice muffled from your upside-down position. “kinda.. i dunno. I mean you should’ve seen the way that becky, bexar, what ever the fuck her name is held onto her”

P.J shoves a handful of chips into her mouth and shrugs “i say kill the bitch”

Josie tosses a pillow at her face and huffs “We already have one murderous charge against us, we don’t need another”

Isabel nods in agreement. "Exactly. We'll figure this out without resorting to murder,"

“fine” P.J huffs holding her hands in the air “but just know that i know people”

“mhmm” you hum as you launch yourself back into an upright position on the bed stealing chips from P.J’s bowl.

As the group starts debating whether han solo or darth vader would be better in bed, you can’t help but wonder at this exact moment what hazel is doing.

——————————————

Hazel sits on her bed in her apartment talking about how the frilled shark can unhinge their jaw and eat prey at least twice their size as the red head sits and stares at her.

Hazel has never been one for social cues, she sincerely honestly thought that Rebecca just needed a friend, and sure they made out at the party but in her defense her face looked similar to yours in the midst of her 6 shots.

So here they are in Hazels apartment, Hazel blabbering about the eel-shark abomination (that she most definitely didn’t spend five hours researching after finding out about it)

“Rebecca? did you hear what i said” she stops and tilts her head with wide eyes

Rebecca nods and turns to Hazel “mhm- yeah the shark is like- long or some shit”

“you seem distracted” the brunette mutters “and it’s not called a long shark it’s called a frilled shark because-“ her sentence is interrupted when she hears Rebecca let out a drawn out sigh and move closer to Hazel.

“Yeah that’s kinda gross Hazey and i’m bored so how about we have some fun…”

“i don’t know what you mean-“ hazel starts before the girl lifts her shirt off and suddenly Hazel realizes why this girl has been being so nice to her.

"I... I don't think that's a good idea," Hazel stammers, her voice tinged with unease as she shifts uncomfortably on the bed.

“come on baby” Rebecca whines as she crawls into an unwilling Hazels lap “I’ve heard how good you are in bed”

And it’s true, Hazel was amazing in bed and she has had her fair share of hookups, but usually she knows about them before.

"Rebecca, I... I really don't think this is a good idea," Hazel insists, her voice shaky as she gently tries to push Rebecca away. "I'm not interested in anything like that right now."

“shhh” Rebecca whispers out as she slams her lips against Hazels and suddenly everything seems too much, Rebecca’s lips are wet, the lights are too bright, the AC is too loud. Panic grips her as she struggles to push Rebecca away, her thoughts a jumble of fear and confusion.

"Stop," Hazel manages to choke out, her voice barely audible over the rush of blood in her ears. She pushes against Rebecca's chest with all her strength, her heart pounding with urgency.

Rebecca pulls back, frustration evident on her face. "What's wrong?" she demands, her voice tinged with irritation.

Hazel's chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, her mind reeling with a flood of emotions. "I... I told you to stop," she says, her voice trembling

Rebecca's expression darkens, her features contorted with anger as she takes a step forward. "You're just playing hard to get,"

Hazel manages to push Rebecca off her lap and quickly stands up, putting some distance between them.

"I think it's best if you leave," she says firmly, her voice trembling slightly with the effort to maintain composure.

With a frustrated huff, Rebecca storms out of the room, leaving Hazel alone with her racing thoughts and pounding heart. As she sinks onto the bed she grabs her phone with shakey hands and presses your contact then the call button.

“Hey what’s up” your voice bellows out from Hazels phone

“Hey i don’t know what-“

“HAHA JK this is my voice mail, leave a message or don’t i don’t care” your voice interrupts and Hazel can’t help the tears that fall down her face

“Hey..i don’t know if you’ll see this but Rebecca was here and i thought we were just friends, i mean i know i kissed her but i was drunk and..anyways we were talking and-“ Hazels voice cracks “-and she climbed on me and i told her to get off but she didn’t and- and she kissed me and maybe it’s my fault but..i don’t know what the point of calling you is because i’m pretty sure you hate me. I dunno, i just needed to tell someone.”

She presses the hang up button and brings her knees to her chest letting out a sob. How could she have been so stupid? Flash backs of when her dad would buy her these new suits and buttons up because he knew you hated dresses, but then make her get dressed in front of him flashed back into her mind.

Despite her best efforts to push those memories aside, they continue to haunt her, casting a shadow over her as she cries herself eventually to sleep.

———————————

it’s not until two days later that you see the voice mail, you’re sitting in your biology class with your airpod in when you click the play button.

“What the fuck?!” you blurt out when it finishes and suddenly all eyes are on you.

You smile sheepishly as you gather all of your belongings and rush out of the classroom calling P.J

after three rings she answers with a “I’m talking to this really hot chick so this better be important”

“You remember when we said that we weren’t going to kill anyone anymore”

P.J hums “well YOU ALL said that, i never actually agreed to it”

“Yeah well…it’s time for some killing..or at least seriously maiming”

as you explained the situation to P.J, the last thing she said before she hung up was

“let’s go kick some leprechaun ass”

————————————

Okay so YOU didn’t kick some leprechaun ass, P.J insisted she could take Rebecca herself and you assuming it went well because as you were driving (well over the speed limit) to Hazels house you receive a message from P.J saying “i’m like 75% sure she’s still alive, anyways if police come questioning you, say a rabid bear attacked her”

You chose not to question her further.

You get to Hazels house and you take a deep breath, you’ve never been good at comforting people, usually you just pat their back and give them water. You assume that probably won’t work for this situation .

Taking a deep breath, you exit your car and make your way to Hazel's apartment. Each step feels heavier than the last, the weight of the situation bearing down on you with each passing moment.

you knock on the door three times fast, two slow, that was your signature knock for her since middle school. As the door swings open, you're greeted by the sight of Hazel, her eyes red-rimmed from tears. Without a word, you pull her into a tight embrace, holding her close.

“y-you came-“ Hazel mutters out as you pull away and she wipes her eyes

“yeah of course haze, im sorry i didn’t see the voice mail till today”

Hazel nods, her expression grateful as she steps back, allowing you to enter her apartment. As you settle into the living room, Hazel gestures for you to take a seat on the couch beside her. You can sense her hesitancy, so you squeeze her hand and softly smile.

“you can talk to me about whatever, you know that right haze?”

Hazel meets your gaze, her eyes reflecting a mixture of emotions—vulnerability, fear, and a glimmer of hope. With a shaky breath, she begins to recount the events of that night, pouring out her heart and soul to you.

And all you saw was fucking red. How the fuck could someone do this to her Hazel, her sweet, beautiful, funny Hazel?

Your heart pounds in your chest as Hazel's words sink in, each one feeling like a blow to your own sense of justice. Anger simmers beneath the surface as you listen to the betrayal she endured, your grip on her hand tightening instinctively.

Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you meet Hazel's gaze with determination burning in your eyes. "Hazel, I am so sorry that you had to go through that," you say, your voice firm but gentle. "But I promise you, we will get through this together. I won't let anyone hurt you like that again."

Hazel coughs out a laugh and looks at you with wet eyes “That’s supposed to be my line”

You smile softly at her response, a flicker of warmth spreading through your chest. "Well, consider it borrowed for now," you say, returning her gaze with sincerity. "Because I mean every word of it. I'm here for you, Hazel, no matter what."

In that moment, as you sit together in quiet solidarity, you know that your bond with Hazel runs deeper than words can express. And with that unspoken understanding, you both find solace in each other's presence.

#hazel callahan #hazel callahan fanfiction #josie bottoms #wlw post #pj bottoms #bottoms 2023 #bottoms movie #hazel callahan x reader #Sad hazel callahan #annoying reader #it gets more interesting i promise #the reader gets less annoying in the next chapter #angst with a happy ending #heavy topics

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tbmunson · 11 months

Text

Escape - Gareth Emerson x Reader pt.2

Summary: You attend Corroded Coffin's practice and feelings are confessed.

Warnings: Talks about diet, talks about absentee parents... A little steam but not much, yet.

Word Count: 5,619

Notes: Honestly this is less slow burn than I intended, but we're not there yet. Thank you guys for your patience in my writing. I'm a perfectionist and I like to make sure everything is done right

Taglist: @depressedacidtest @nana90azevedo @alanamarie @lizzziekatt and of course @ashes-writing Bestie you are the love of my life. Thank you so much for always being there and helping me. You're amazing.

1 / 2 / 3

Once you’d gotten up to your room last night you did as you promised and called Gareth. Though it had been a short conversation, you learned a little more about him, like he actually enjoyed watching his sisters and he volunteers to watch them on Friday’s because, and you quote, “I’m their best friend, they don’t need some random teen that doesn’t know or care about them to watch them.” That line made you smile a little.

Gareth picked up on how much you enjoyed watching his sisters too and that made it harder to convince himself that you were too opposite and it would never work. Once he hung the phone up by the kitchen door he went up to his room to get ready for bed. His eyes went immediately to the pile of clothes at the end of his bed. More specifically, the pale pink bra. He stood frozen in the doorway of the room, just looking at it. Many thoughts raced through his head, the most prominent being you’d been in his shirt without a bra on for the last hour and a half, as if his previous fantasy needed anymore fuel. He let out a shaky breath and stepped over to the heap, debating on what to do with it. The perv in his brain told him to pick it up, keep it, and never give it back. You left it after all. The rational part told him to fold your shirt, put it in his chair, and hide the bra under it so he wasn’t tempted to let the perv part win.

He went with the second option, although the feeling of the silk and lace between his fingers had the perv side going insane. He still put the bra into the folded cotton and went to bed.

Gareth was woken by the sound of knocking on his bedroom door. He knew his parents took his sisters to Lori’s gymnastics competition in Indianapolis so he wasn’t sure who it could be. “Yeah?” He called out, which was answered by the door swinging open and a smug looking Eddie walking in.

“How was your date, Emerson?” He quirked a brow as he walked across the room to sit in the chair.

“Whoa! Don’t sit there!” Gareth jumped up and made it over to the chair to move your clothes from it.

“I sit on your clothes all the time in that chair.” Eddie rolled his eyes at his friend and finally sat down.

Gareth settled at the end of his bed and held the neatly folded fabric up. “Not mine.”

Eddie’s brows raised but what dropped his jaw was the bra falling out of the cotton. “Dude! Did you guys..?”

Gareth scrambled and grabbed the item in question before shoving it under his comforter. “No! No, we didn’t. She uh, she helped give the girls a bath and got splashed. I gave her one of my shirts.” And he knew he shouldn’t have said it because as soon as the words left his mouth Eddie’s face split into the biggest grin Gareth had ever seen.

“You gave her the Crue shirt, didn’t you?”

Gareth turned so red that he was practically glowing like the neon signs around town.

“Didn’t you?” Eddie prodded, leaning closer with the most shit-eating grin he’d ever had.

“Stop talking, Ed.”

“I knew it!” Eddie yelled as he pointed and pushed himself back into the chair excitedly, his boot clad feet stomping the floor repeatedly.

“Fuck off. Where are Jeff and Grant? Aren’t we supposed to be practicing?” Gareth stood and walked over to his closet.

“We’re supposed to be practicing at 12. It’s 11.” Eddie pointed to the alarm clock on his side table.

Gareth groaned and flopped back onto the bed. “Then why are you here?”

“Gareth, I'm nosy. And more than that, I like to prove I’m right. I told a certain someone we were practicing today and that she should come by.”

As if on cue the doorbell rang, signaling someone’s arrival.

“I hate you.” Gareth grumbled, getting out of bed again. He opened the door and just about had to pick his jaw up from the floor.

You stood there in the shirt he’d given you last night, only now there was a knot tied in it just above your belly button. You’d paired it with a pair of jean shorts that were cut dangerously high and a pair of white sneakers. What caught his attention the most was the red plaid bandana wrapped around your head to keep the baby hairs that fell out of your bun at bay. It was the same red plaid of his battle vest. “Morning, sleepy head.” You smiled, lightly glossed lips shining in the sun.

“Morning.” He replied almost breathlessly.

Eddie came up behind him and smirked. “Nice shirt, short stuff.”

You beamed and looked down. “Thanks. Gareth let me borrow it. My mom won’t let me have one because Crue is ‘unholy’ or some shit.”

Gareth couldn’t see your eyes roll due to the sunglasses on your face, but he knew they had by the tone in your voice. “You actually listen to them?” He was surprised to say the least.

“There’s a lot that you don’t know about me. I’m more than short skirts and pom poms.” You reached out and patted his chest as you stepped into the house, brushing your body with his as you did so.

Gareth tried, he really did, to keep himself at bay. He was unsuccessful. “I need to go shower. Eddie, entertain, please.” He was pleading, which gave Eddie an ungodly amount of satisfaction.

“Yeah, of course.” Eddie’s face was taken over by a shit-eating grin.

Gareth groaned and walked away. He regretted giving you the shirt and even more so, asking Eddie to hang out with you because who knew what he was going to say.

“Eddie, what am I doing here so early? He obviously just woke up.” You asked as you settled onto the sofa.

Eddie shrugged, sprawling himself over the recliner. “Figured I’d give you two some extra time together. Get to know each other more, for the project, of course.”

You knew he was lying, or at least not telling you the full truth. You thought about calling him out on it, but you also didn’t want to be wrong, let alone have Gareth hear that you liked him. “Thanks, buddy.” You replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

The two of you sat silent for no more than a minute before you spoke again.

“Can we smoke later?”

“The Princess of Hawkins partakes in the devil’s tobacco?” Eddie raised a brow at you, honestly stunned at the request.

You laughed and shook your head. “Never have, but I think it’ll be fun. I hear it lets your true self out and I kind of want a reason to get some heavy shit off of my chest.”

“Gonna let your secrets spill, Princess?”

“I don’t have secrets, just things not everyone knows.” You replied, picking at your nails before looking up to Eddie’s smirking face. “Grow up Munson. You’re not right about everything, okay?”

“But I’m right about this.” He replied, pushing himself to stand so he could walk into the kitchen. “Can I get you a drink?”

You rolled your eyes and got up to follow him. “You’re smug, you know that?”

He laughed as he grabbed two cups from the cabinet. “I can afford to be smug, Sweetheart.”

“Just don’t say anything else about it.” You rested your elbows on the counter and watched Eddie scoop the ice into the cups.

“So, I’m right and I can’t say anything about it.” He pretended to think hard about it before speaking again. “Fine, but you're both stupid and blind.”

“You really know how to make a woman swoon, don’t you Munson.” You pushed off of the counter and grabbed one of the cups. “It’ll happen if and when it’s supposed to. Don’t meddle in it.”

“I won’t, but it’s so obvious, just so you know.”

“What’s obvious?” Gareth walked into the kitchen scrubbing his head with a faded blue towel.

Eddie glanced at you before looking at Gareth. “The Princess's crush.”

“Munson.” You glared at him, eyes squinted in a way that dared him to say another word.

Gareth nodded and walked through to drop the towel in the laundry room, leaving you to glare at Eddie until he returned. “Well, that’s her business.”

“See!” You more or less yelled, glad Gareth wasn’t going to press for details.

Eddie rolled his eyes and jumped up on the counter as he mumbled something about “blind and delusional” under his breath.

It was your turn, again, to roll your eyes.

Gareth walked back out and rested against the counter as he looked between the two of you. “Well it looks like you two had a great time. Scowling is usually a good sign right?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, frown turning up into a smile and eyes lighting up. “Yeah, absolutely. He just thinks he’s right all the time.”

“Oh, I know exactly what you mean, Doll.” Gareth chuckled, sending you a smile that made you melt.

Before anything else could be said the front door swung open and the two other members of Hawkins most metal band walked in.

“My men! We ready to get started?” Eddie asked, drawing all of the attention to himself.

Grant and Jeff share a confused look which made you laugh a little. It was obvious that they hadn’t expected you to be sitting on the kitchen island with Gareth leaning next to you.

Gareth, who gained bravery by his friends' presence, pushed himself up and rested his hand on your thigh. “Ready?” He asked, giving it a quick squeeze.

You swallowed down the whimper you wanted to let out and nodded.

Gareth gave you another squeeze before offering you a hand to help you down, which you took before mumbling a small “Thank you” to him. He rested his hand on the small of your back to lead you to the detached garage where their practice was held. “There’s a couch if you wanna sit.” He nodded to the old floral couch that had no doubt been in the house previously.

“Thanks, Gare.” You smiled as you stepped away from him. You settled onto the couch as he and the boys took their places to start practice. You watched Gareth twirl the drumstick in his hand and subconsciously squeezed your thighs together, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Eddie.

“So I think we can start with the cover of Live Wire. Yeah?” Eddie looked around as the boys nodded in response.

You loved that song, it was the one you played and danced to alone every time your parents were out. You bobbed your head and mouthed the words along with Eddie but your eyes stayed on Gareth, watching the sweat glisten off of his cheeks and nose and how his hair bounced as he headbanged along.

Gareth felt your eyes on him the whole time which encouraged him to do his best to impress you, making this one of the best practices they’d had in a while.

Once practice was over and they started packing up Eddie watched Gareth walk over to the couch, pick your feet up and sit with your feet in his lap. Gareth rested his hand on your shin, rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin. “I think you’re our good luck charm, Princess. These fools haven’t made it through a practice without a fuck up in weeks.” Eddie smirked, carefully carrying his guitar case out of the garage.

“I’d be happy to watch you guys anytime.” You replied before turning your attention to Gareth. “You were amazing, Gare. Watching you is fun, the way you get so into it. Like nothing else matters. That’s passion.” You wanted to tell him how attractive it was, but you held off on that for the moment.

“Thanks. I love it. It gets the emotions I don’t know how to express out in the open somehow.” He squeezed your leg, something you could get used to for sure.

You giggled and sat up to scoot closer with your legs still over his lap. “That’s really deep. I’m glad you have a way to express everything on the inside. It gives me an idea for our project.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” He reached over with his other hand and tucked a loose hair behind your ear.

“Well, I think most people are going to just do something that shows the other person. I think we should do ours to show we’re the same, but we present differently. Like on the outside you’re this scary metal head that’s into the dark and scary stuff and doesn’t care about anything but on the inside you’re sweet and funny and caring. And I’m the opposite. On the outside I’m all sunshine and rainbows and happiness but on the inside I like all the same dark and scary stuff you do. So I propose that we do paintings. Mine for you would be dark around the edges and as it fades into the middle it gets lighter and happier. And yours for me is the opposite. I’ll be all dark on the inside but it gets lighter and brighter as you go out.” You explained, waving your hands and changing your face in ways that Gareth thought was absolutely adorable.

“That sounds really great. We could do actual rainbows for the color and fade it all into each other and use the whole scale from lighter pastel shades to the darker ones.” He replied, hand resting on the side of your thigh close to your knee, far enough down to be respectful.

You squealed and threw your arms around him. “That’s genius. I was thinking we would just use our favorite colors but that gives it so much more depth! Like every color provokes an emotion and no one feels the same all the time. I just know ours is going to be the best.” You hadn’t even realized that in the process of hugging him you had drug yourself more into his lap, in turn making his hand slide up your thigh. When you did realize it, you made no move to separate or create any kind of distance.

Gareth didn’t either, he instead looped his free arm around your back to keep you close. “You’re the genius, Doll. You came up with the idea, I just built on it.”

You looked up at him and smiled before resting your head on his shoulder. “Stop it. I’m not good at taking compliments.” You mumbled before hiding your face in his neck.

He chuckled and rested his head on yours. “Hey, the truth is the truth.” It’s all he could think to say that wasn’t over stepping any imaginary boundaries that might be set.

The two of you were so wrapped up in each other that you didn’t notice Natalie’s car driving by or the way she was watching you cuddle up to Gareth. But Eddie noticed. And he watched her drive by, flipping her off when she noticed him.

“Well, Princess, looks like your cheer buddies are gonna hate you on Monday.” He stated as he walked into the garage, seeing what Natalie must have seen to cause the twisted look on her face.

You lifted your head and dragged one of your arms from around Gareth’s neck. “Fuck ‘em. There’s five weeks left in the school year and I’ll never see those uppity bitches again.” You replied with yet another roll of your eyes. It was one of the habits you’d picked up from the cheer team and the only one you didn’t mind. Attitude could be a great asset.

“Whoa, Princess, those are some really mean words. Didn’t know you were so angry.” Eddie teased lightly.

“I’m just sick of being told what I can and can’t do. Who I can and can’t hang out with.” You sighed, resting your head once again on Gareth’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be, Doll.” He pulled you the rest of the way into his lap and held you as the other two members joined you in the garage.

“What’s the plan for the rest of the day?” Jeff asked, stuffing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

“My parents will be getting home with the girls soon. They’re gonna throw a fit to show me the routines so I’m stuck here. You guys are welcome to stay and hang though.” Gareth said, resting his chin on your head. The scent of your shampoo was intoxicating to him.

Grant and Jeff shared a look.

“Yeah I think we’ll go hit up the mall for a little bit and come back later. You coming, Ed?” Grant asked as Jeff fished the car keys from his pocket.

“Yeah, but we’ll come back for Princess’s first smoke sesh tonight.” Eddie said as he reached out to flip the hoop in your ear.

You raised your hand and flipped him off, which caused Gareth to laugh a little.

“Sounds good.” Gareth then looked down at you. “You staying or going?”

“I’ll stay. I’d love to see the girls and we can start on the project since we have an idea.” You replied with a smile before turning your attention to the other guys. “You guys are really great, by the way. Like I know the people I hang out with are assholes to you so I’m thankful you didn’t just write me off with them.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. You stopped them from coming after us more times than we can count. We knew you weren’t like them.” Jeff said, twirling the keys around his finger.

“Yeah, you hung with who you did for survival. It’s not like you were the one chasing the freshmen down in your car.” Grant stated, which caught your attention.

“I’m sorry, what? Who chased them down in their car?”

The guys shared a look, one that said he probably shouldn’t have said that. “Jason, Andy, and I think Tiffany and Natalie were in Jason’s Jeep last week and the freshmen were biking home.”

You nodded, deep in thought about what exactly you would say come Monday morning practice. None of it was pretty.

“I think on that note, we’re gonna head out.” Eddie clapped his hand over Grant’s shoulder and the three of them walked off towards Jeff’s car.

“You didn’t tell me about that.” You said softly, turning to look at Gareth.

“I know, but the kids didn’t want anyone to know. It hasn’t happened again, and if it had I promise I would have told you. The kids were embarrassed, I think.”

You nodded and moved to stand, only Gareth’s grip on your hips tightened and he pulled you back down, making you giggle a bit. ”Gare, we gotta go get the painting stuff.”

His arms wrapped around you, keeping you pressed to him. “I know, but this is really comfortable.”

You couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Eddie had been right. Maybe Gareth did like you. Maybe it would be okay that you liked him. You laughed when he buried his face into your neck and relaxed into him.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, thoughts buzzing around your heads about the other.

You ran your hand down his arm before you slipped your fingers through his. “You know once the girls get here we aren’t going to be able to go.” You hummed into his ear as you squeezed his hand in yours.

“I know. They’re gonna take you away from me.” He mumbled into your neck. He felt the way your lips morphed into a smile against his ear. “But I bet you like them more, huh? It’s not like you cut up my food for me last night.” He teased, snuggling into you a bit more.

His voice vibrated against the sensitive part of your neck causing you to sucks in a fast breath, which he didn’t miss. “I would have fed it to you if you'd have asked.” You moved so your lips were against his ear. “I’d do anything if you asked.” You smiled, hoping more now than ever that Eddie was right and not just saying it.

Gareth picked his head up and looked down at you. “All I have to do is ask, hm?”

You nodded and opened your mouth to reply, only to be cut off by the sound of a car coming into the driveway. “Well, looks like we missed our opportunity for a quick escape.” You chuckled, moving just enough to get off of his lap and settle next to him. You didn’t miss the pout on his face when you moved.

He laughed at the joke and watched the girls run from the car, yelling about how Lori’s team won their division and showing off her sash.

“Ooh! You look fancy with that, girly. Why don’t you show me your favorite trick!” You beamed at them.

Lori took her sash off and handed it to you before showing you back walkover.

“Wow! That was perfect, baby doll! What about you, lil bit? Are you in gymnastics?”

Clara perked up at her new nickname and nodded before she did a cartwheel.

“You guys are so good. You’re way better than I was at that age.” You smiled as they climbed onto the couch.

Gareth watched you with pure adoration.

“Can you do tricks?” Clara asked, looking up from her spot on your leg.

You smiled and tucked a loose hair behind her ear. “I actually can. I do gymnastics on Mondays and Wednesdays after school. It helps with cheerleading.” You replied, watching the girls' faces light up.

“Can you show us something? Please!” Lori asked, latching onto your hand.

As much as you would have loved to, the jean shorts you were wearing were so tight, you thought you wouldn’t be able to move properly. “I can’t right now because I’m not wearing the right clothes, baby doll. But when Gareth and I get back from the supply store, I’ll show you a few things. I promise.” You held up your pinky to her.

She wrapped hers around yours and smiled. “Okay!”

Gareth slipped his hand behind your back and rubbed his thumb up and down the exposed skin between the shirt and your shorts. “Why don’t you guys let us go ahead and go so we can come back faster? Huh?”

“Okay bubby!” Clara said, sliding down from your lap and reaching out for her sister's hand, which Lori took.

“We’ll see you guys in a little bit!” You called after the girls as they made their way inside.

Gareth, against his better judgment, wrapped his arms around you and settled his chin onto your shoulder. “You’re so great with them. They love you.” He said in a low voice that sent chills down your body, which he noticed and smirked at.

“I love them too. They’re the sweetest kids.” You replied, resting your hand on his.

“I love them, but I can’t wait to have my own, you know?” His hand subconsciously rested on your stomach for a moment as he pulled his hands back.

You watched him stand up, lost for words for a moment as images of Gareth and your kids playing in the yard swam through your head. “You want a big family?” You asked, taking his hand that was waiting.

He nodded, letting you pull yourself up. “Yeah, four or five, maybe more. There’s just something about taking care of another person, showing them how to be people that gets me.” He looked down at you, a soft smile on his face. “What about you?”

You nodded, resting your hands on his shoulders to keep yourself up. “Yeah, I want a huge family and a job so I’ll always be around. My parents are always gone on business and I never get to see them.” You explain, with a bit of a somber look.

“You’re going to be an amazing mother one day. Any kid would be lucky to have you, Doll.” Gareth instinctively wrapped his arms around your body and rocked you a bit.

You buried your face into his neck and fought the urge to kiss the skin under your lips. “Thanks, Gare.” You slowly pulled away from him and smiled. “You ready to go?” You asked as you gripped his hand in yours.

“Yeah, Doll. Let’s go.”

***

Once the two of you finished gathering the supplies you decided to go back to your place to paint since it would be quiet.

“So, the spare office is my studio. Upstairs, end of the hall to the left.” You said as you opened the door. “I’ll grab us some snacks and bring them up.” You smiled as he looked around.

“I’ll go get set up. See you in a bit.” He almost stepped up to kiss the top of your head, but he caught himself. He went up the stairs and into the room you’d directed him to. Paintings and drawings hung around the room. He took time looking at each one, stopping on a pencil drawing of him. He smiled, knowing that you’d looked at him long enough to draw him.

You made your way into the room with a tray of small sandwiches, grapes, and a sleeve of Oreos. “It’s probably not the best combo, but it makes my brain work.” You followed his eyes and blushed. “Oh, um…”

Gareth turned and smiled at you. “It’s really good. When did you do it?” He reached out and took the tray for you.

“Last year, chemistry. I finished an exam early and the way the light was hitting you was perfect. I’m sorry if that’s creepy.” You cringed a bit, clutching the Oreos tighter.

“It looks great. You got my good angle.” He said, looking over at you.

“Thank you.” Your voice was small, timid.

“What’s wrong?” He stepped over and put his hands on your upper arms.

You scanned the floor and shrugged. “I guess I’m just not used to people telling me my art looks good. When I was a kid I’d show my parents and their response was usually ‘That’s nice honey.’ and then they would go back to whatever they were doing. It’s just different I guess?” You explained, bringing your eyes to finally meet his. “Plus, I don’t want you to think I’m some weirdo for drawing you.”

Gareth couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped at your last comment. “I’m flattered you decided to draw me. You have a real talent for this stuff, Doll. You just have to find the right people to appreciate it.”

You smiled up at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Thank you.” Everything inside of you was telling you to kiss him, but you stopped yourself.

“Any time, sweet thing.” He couldn’t have stayed like that for hours, your body pressed against his, your scent lingering around him.

“C’mon, let's get started on these canvases.” You smiled as you hesitantly pulled back.

He nodded and let go of you to empty the bags filled with tubes of paint, brushes, and palettes.

“Do you mind if I put on some music? It helps me focus.” You looked over at him from next to the small stereo.

“Yeah, go ahead.” He was organizing the tubes so that it matched the color wheel, making it easier to grab what was needed. He was a little shocked when Quiet Riot started playing through the speaker. “She just keeps getting better and better.” He mumbled as he watched you bob your head to the beat as you began setting up the canvases on easels.

“Come on, feel the noise. Girls, rock your boys. We’ll get wild wild wild.” You sang under your breath as you measured the canvas, looking for the exact middle. When you marked it, you worked your way around making lines that lead from the middle to the edge, to make sure the brush stroked wouldn’t look wonky and crooked. When the lines were done you grabbed an Oreo and marked where the colors would fade into one another and transition from darker to lighter.

Gareth sat back and watched you, deciding that he would marry you on the spot if you would have asked. The focus on your face, the attention to detail, the mumbling of one of his favorite bands, even the Oreo that was between your lips and you figured your next mark, it was all driving him crazy in the best way.

“Do you want me to mark yours too?” You asked, peering over at him to see him leaned against the desk with his arms folded over his chest, eyes on you.

“Uh, yeah, if you want. It’ll probably be better, like if we want them the same, you know?” He was nervous that you’d just caught him staring, you didn’t seem to mind as you agreed and went to work on the second canvas, following the marks from your own.

Once you’d finished you walked over to the desk and grabbed one of the sandwiches. “Lunch break, then we’ll get started.

Gareth chucked and grabbed one of his own. “Good, I thought you were just going to have Oreo’s for lunch.”

You laughed and shrugged. “Wouldn’t have been the first time. My diet isn’t the best.” You replied with a smile.

“Mine either. Honestly, last night was going to be pizza, not that Benny’s is any healthier, but that’s on you.” He joked, making you roll your eyes.

“Fine, next time I’ll bring salad and water.” You replied with a teasing smile.

Next time. You wanted there to be a next time. “You can bring whatever you want as long as you come back.” He replied before popping a grape into his mouth.

“I’ll come back anytime you want me to.” You don’t know what made you brave enough to say it. Maybe it was the fact that it was just the two of you, or maybe it was because you were tired of keeping your feelings at bay and you just wanted to know how he felt.

“You could live there if you wanted to, I wouldn’t mind. I know the girls wouldn’t either.” He reached over and grabbed your hand, which you took and let him pull you close.

“You mean that?”

“Yeah, Doll. Can I be honest with you?”

You nodded and looked up at him.

“I like you. A lot. I have for a really long time. I’m sorry if that makes this weird.” He looked down at your hands that were intertwined with his.

You smiled and let go of his hands, which scared him until he felt your hands on the side of his face. “Thank god. I was gonna go crazy if you didn’t feel the same way.”

His eyes darted up, looking at you, trying to figure out if this was some joke. “Are you serious?”

You rolled your eyes and pulled him to you. “I’m serious.” You whispered, your lips brushing over his.

He grabbed your hips and pressed his lips to yours, savoring the feeling of the kiss along with your hands slipping down his neck and around him, bringing him closer to you.

You felt his tongue lick across your bottom lip, prompting you to open your mouth at the same time his hands slid around your hips and settled into the back pockets of your jean shorts. You whined into his mouth when he squeezed the fat of your ass.

He pressed kisses down your jaw and onto your neck before latching on at the base and leaving a mark that wouldn’t be easily hidden.

“What are you doing?” You asked, words coming out in a rushed breath.

“Making sure everyone knows your mine.” He answered as he pulled back to examine the mark.

You reached up and smiled when your fingers slid over the tinder part. “I thought they would get it when they saw me kissing you in the halls, but I can go for this too.” You giggled, letting that hang drop down to his chest, the other arm was still hooked behind his neck.

“Yeah? So you wanna be my girl, officially?” His hands migrated from your pockets to your sides, thumb running over the exposed skin.

You nodded and moved to stand on your tiptoes to give his nose a kiss. “Yeah, I do. I always have.” You replied.

“Honestly, I didn’t think that I’d thank Mr. Greely for anything, but I think he deserves a gift or something.” Gareth stated, taking your hand from his chest and slipping his fingers between yours.

“Yeah, I think he does.” You smiled, laughing as Gareth used his hold on your hand to spin you around. “What are you doing?”

“Just seeing what my girl looks like all the way around.” He answered, scanning over you with a satisfied smile.

“Your girl. I like the way that sounds.” Your hand rested on his hip and your eyes flickered between him and your hand. “We would get started, yeah?”

Gareth nodded, mouth gaping open. He was shocked when you pulled away and walked over to the canvas. “Oh, right. Yeah. Let’s do… that.” He took a few deep breaths and followed you to his so you could explain your vision for the pieces.

#stranger things gareth #gareth stranger things #gareth the great #gareth x reader #gareth emerson #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson x you #gareth emerson imagines #gareth emerson smut #Gareth Emerson fanfic #Gareth Emerson fan fic #Gareth Emerson fanfiction #Gareth Emerson fan fiction #stranger thing #stranger things fan fiction #stranger things fan fic

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bronx-bomber87 · 5 months

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Merry Christmas Eve to all who celebrate it :) We’ve reached S5. Which is unreal. It shouldn’t be since I’ve been writing these for 7 plus months now and yet ha. I remember BUZZING for this ep. Then being in shock It actually happened. This entire season felt like a gift from the writers.

The long awaited reward for the slow burn. Although I enjoyed every moment of that slow burn. Was very happy to get to this place I will say. You thought Tim’s brain was broken last ep? It’s about to be obliterated haha Once again some long gifs I’ll make to get it all in. Might be the theme for this season LOL I fit everything in that I could this ep was wall to wall moments. Let’s get going.

5x01 Double Down

We start out on a glorious high. Lucy is dreaming about kissing Tim. Making out really. Not only that but she is grinning like crazy as she does. Sure she’s had dreams like this before about him. No doubt in my mind she’s had naughty dreams about this man. (and vice versa let’s be honest) But now she had something real to dream about. A tangible moment. Didn't take long for that to take root in her subconscious ha.

Also in this dream we get another lovely angle to that kiss. It's like we got two first kisses everyone. It's glorious. They sure started this season off with spoiling us right away. He looks like he’s about to eat her face in this dream version. This is why she’s smiling so much heh I love having both angles. Real and dream version.

I like how the dream version is little spicier. Like this is her dream version of that kiss. How he’s cupping her face in this one. She wanted him to devour her like that. She would’ve been happy to be his meal for the night. Also showing Lucy has it SOO bad for him. Forgetting she has a blah BF at the moment. Chris who? Unfortunately as it gets good a knock startles her awake.

It’s Tamara waking her up. Lucy is legit jarred from her dream. We watch her struggle to come back down to earth. Her messy hair and reaction are too funny. This one of my all time fav Tamara/Lucy moments. She has to give Lucy a hard time about the kiss. Wouldn’t be her if she didn’t. It’s too cute. Lucy goes into mom mode about school. Telling her about Rosalind’s trial shutting the city down. Her normal route will be closed.

Tamara mirroring her going into protective daughter mode. Asking her if she wants her to skip class? I love her always wanting to put Lucy first. She tells her no. She will be ok and no where near Rosalind anyways. She is bound to the station with Tim anyways. Waiting for their OP to jump off. Tamara asking if it’s for the UC thing from the other night? Lucy confirms this.

Tamara’s giving her crap about the kiss. Lucy being defensive saying didn’t mean anything. Oh yes nothing. You weren’t just dreaming about it or anything…Mmhm…Then she says her legendary line. ‘Make out. Stop crime. That totally tracks.' LOL I love her so much. Lucy tells her to go to school. Tamara replies in kind telling her to have fun at work. With her boss. Who she kissed…

We then switch to Tim talking to Angela about said kiss. Now let me say how giddy it makes me he came to Angela about it. Yes she’s his best friend but he didn’t used to be this open with her. She had to pull teeth in 2x11 even when he asked for her help. This is a far more open Tim Bradford than we’ve seen before. He starts this convo then goes into full denial. Babe, you started this and she has great Chenford radar. You weren’t going to fool her. Not in the slightest. I love how she doesn’t let up the entire convo. Smirking this entire time through out it as well.

Asking how much did they practice? LOL Tim telling her it was just a kiss. No big deal. Angela’s reply is epic. ‘Then why are we talking about it?’ Boom. Mic drop. She is iconic in this scene. Sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything else. Tim deflecting saying 'What if it wasn’t just a kiss for her?' Really asking 'Do you think she has feelings for me too?' Angela follows up asking if Lucy might have feelings for him? He looks so deflated when he says ‘No..’ Thinking no way Lucy could have feelings for him. Ugh break my heart Tim. When Angela gives me more logic it makes him said.

Telling him she probably saw the kiss as just as a weird work thing then. The defeated way he says ‘Right....’ Angela picks up on it immediately. Hence her next question to him. The way he says ‘No!' to her feelings question. He’s SO defensive. Not telling at all…Do you even believe yourself Timothy? His voice gets all high pitched. Just like Lucy does when she gets nervous about her feelings. He does his spiel about them both being in relationships. Being her boss. etc. Angela crushes it with some more solid logic. ‘All true. Not what I asked.’ God I love her. Also let’s note how deliciously tight Tim’s shirt is in this scene. Didn’t think I would let that slide by did you? Mmm.

We rejoin them in the interrogation room. Tim complaining how greasy his double is. How he hates it LOL Lucy comes in looking like a stunner. Notice Tim agreeing with Aaron’s assessment of how good she looks. She then mentions regretting the choice of thong idea LMAO I love her. Also you are going to be the death of him Lucy Chen haha What are you doing to this man? They received a call earlier and now waiting for a follow up to where to meet.

The phone goes off and Lucy gives the most ‘ in love’ look at him. She couldn’t adore that man standing in front of her more if she tried. Tim answers and Hajek tells them to meet his guys at an air strip. I love the silent communication between them. Always adore that about them. Lucy tries to get them more time saying they can’t just up and leave. How she looks requires lots of suitcases and precision.

Swing and miss sadly. Tells them to meet them there or end up in a coffin. Angela is scrambling because leaving the state is a whole other thing. Aaron saves them by letting them use his private jet for him and Angela to follow in. Lucy says they can follow the flight plan the pilot has to submit. Angela is relaxing a bit and decides to let them proceed. Aaron cracks me up asking about caviar selection such a goob. Says he'll just get an assortment. Ha I love him.

So begins them “pretending” to be a couple. When really it’s just them having no restrictions or boundaries on them. Getting to look, touch, flirt, and be free with one another. Under the guise of UC. It’s glorious really. I felt my brain stopped working multiple times in this episode the first time. Just like Tim. Lucy starts off STRONG explaining why they're late. Pulling Tim to her saying 'Their quickie wasn’t so quick.' Hot damn. (I can see this being a reason for them now a days too hehe)

They’re like magnets instantly drawn to each other. Gah I love it so much. I remember it being so hard to focus. Because they had their arms all wrapped around each other from the word go. The way they are all over each other in this hanger scene. It’s their normal banter but heightened. I’ll never be over her hand resting on his hip. His arms wrapped around her. The easy rhythm they quickly fall into. Almost like being a couple is the most natural thing in the world for them. I mean look at them. They are not struggling to sell this one bit.

The way they’re attached at the hip. Swaying together like they’re in their own world. Which what else is new with them? This is par for the course when they're together. They’re always in their own world when they banter. Only right now they’re allowed to touch and hold each other as much as they want to. And trust me they want to. It felt like I was dreaming as I watched this portion. Truly in a daze. I had to rewind and pay attention to the SL. More than once...

The smiles and the swaying gah they get me. They basically mirror the smiles and swaying from 5x12. Because they’re just as in love right now as they are 11 eps down the road. I love Lucy’s face when they get interrupted LOL It was the biggest scowl. Like excuse me you weren’t invited to this party.

I truly think they nailed this because it was their shot. They thought this was their only chance to be with each other without any restrictions. So they went for it as we can see. We all lapped it up like it was the last bit of water in the desert haha I’m giddy as he tells her to get on the damn plane. It's so cute. Lucy cannot keep her hands off him from the minute they start this. Tim is more than happy to oblige. Gah this is cloud 9 goodness.

The goodies continue on the plane as they head towards Vegas. I don’t know about you but first time I watched this portion I couldn’t focus. I was obsessed with her sitting on his lap basically. Leaning into him. Not only that but the start to Tim’s obsession we all love with her thighs. How he has his hand rests there naturally. Like his hand has found it's new home happily. Lastly their hands. I remember focusing so much on just their hands I missed dialogue. Had to rewind it to hear what was going on LOL

If you weren’t just as distracted by their hands and PDA you’re a lying liar who lies haha Or you don’t ship them. In that case why you reading this review right now? Ha I think they were both nervous about this being out of state. The hands weren’t necessary in the least. I think they were unconsciously grounding each other.

Finding comfort in each other’s touch. Also I think them being this way was incredibly natural for them. Just like everything else has been their entire relationship. Why the slow burn was so necessary. So when we got here it was basically a flawless crossover to this. Touching each other as much as possible and I love it.

Lucy cracks me up trying to get info on their job. Saying right now it's the world’s most boring bachelor party LOL Tim saying this is a job not a party. They finally tell them what their job is since they’re airborne. They ask them if they know who Roman Krupka is? They say nope. Apparently he imports Heroin to the Monarch cartel. Lucy mentions so the competition?

He continues on saying ‘Something like that.' That Roman is paranoid of computers. Doesn’t keep a written record anywhere. That the details of his operation exist in one place. One man called ‘The Brain .’ His name is Leonard Madris. Tim makes the comment isn’t is dangerous for one man to carry all that? They say yes and he’s usually kept under heavy guard. Never leaves the compound.

The reason they’re headed to Vegas is because of him. They’re received a solid tip he will be there this weekend. They find out their plan in this. They’re to take out the guards while he grabs Madris. Then they’re gonna torture the man for every detail. Then they’ll take over the business by doing so. Lucy is so cocky in her reply. I love it. Saying sounds like they should be getting paid more heh. Lyon tells them tough. So charming...

We rejoin them finding out Rosalind has escaped through Lyon. This is one of my fav moments of the episode. The way he immediately grabs her hand. Trying to ground her in this moment. Keeping her close to him so he can show her he’s there. Reassure her that she isn’t alone in hearing this. It’s just instinctual him doing this. Knowing this would be a massive trigger that would throw her off kilter. Trying to keep Lucy there with him. To stop her from losing focus and spiraling out.

Also the way Tim looks up at her. Checking in trying to get her to silently communicate with him. He needs to know she’s ok. Protective Tim is one of my favs. That immediate need to shield and protect her. Rosalind is a huge trauma trigger for her. He wants so badly to help her with this news. Look at how her hand is clutching his shoulder at first. He starts rubbing his thumb on her hand. Trying to get her to unclench. (Wasn't able to fit that one in but he does it.)

Tim being her calm in the raging storm she has going on right now. Her constant in this moment. Which is exactly what she needs. This man is so soft for her I’ll never be over it everyone. Tim isn’t able to get a read on her. She won’t look down at him. So he asks how long till they land? Lyon says 15 minutes. Tim tells them perfect. His cover being the mile high club. It’s his way of getting them a private moment. He needs to check in on her and he can’t do that with them around.

They head back and Lucy goes into full spiral mode. This is why he wanted to do this. She starts to be taken over by her fear and PTSD. Tim sees it taking over her. He tells her to stop in the softest way possible. Lucy takes a deep breath and little stomp but does. Telling her if she is not 100 percent in this it’s going to get her killed. Which ultimately will kill him in the process.

Lucy defends herself and says she’s got this. The news got to her at first but this is their one shot at Madris. That she is fine. I love him being protective and wanting to pull the plug just for her. The beautiful thing is he listens to her on this. Doesn’t bulldoze her and make a decision like he used to. He is trusting her in this moment. Letting her decide for herself ultimately. Which is such growth for him once again I can’t stand it.

He’s so ready to kill this OP if she’s not ok. I love that sfm. Letting her know that there is no shame if she does. He is there if she is ready to pull the ripcord. Tim is about to leave when she stops him. Tim looks so very confused once again. Lucy telling him it needs to look like they hooked up in here. Tim isn’t on the same page as her right now and it shows haha

Here comes that infamous airplane kiss. Has some similar aspects to their first kiss. Except way spicier this time around. Once again Lucy just pounces on Tim. He has to absorb the weight of her throwing her body at him. We watch him once again stumble into their kiss. Taken aback by her forcefulness. Her passion nearly knocking him off his feet. Tim isn't complaining once her lips collide with his though.

It doesn’t take long for him to adjust to it and go with this mini make out session of their's. He is adjusting much faster this time around. It’s all hands at first. His body absorbing the shock of her body slamming into his. Tim wrapping his arms around her anchoring her body to his. Lucy’s hands firmly planted on his face as she leads this kiss at first. Tim’s hands moving up her back fully enveloping her in his arms. Getting so very lost in her once again. Instantly melting into her.

I love how the kiss continues to get deeper. Sexier as well. Hot damn look at them above. Tim is the one chasing her lips as they continue this much spicier kiss. The way he’s leaning into her as they sway together. Two people in perfect tandem with each other. Not missing a beat. They were both so very thirsty in this moment. It’s all over this kiss. Tim running his hands up and down her back as he is savoring her. Lucy hands moving down his face not looking to part from him any time soon either. Tim isn't the only one getting easily lost in this.

Lucy’s hands sliding down his chest once again. This kiss getting deepened much faster this second time around. Their desire for one another is very evident. Tim can't keep his hands off her. Like I said for their kiss in 4x22. If they kept going his hands would end up on her face. He can’t keep them still and as she runs her hands down his chest. He pulls her closer to him not wanting to lose any contact with her. Eliminate any unnecessary space between them.

Her lips are quickly becoming a drug he is getting addicted to. He sure loves her upper lip. Captures it between his as he looks to further this impromptu kiss. *fans self* Look at him in that gif above. Wants her as close to him as possible. I just adore how softly he cups her face wanting to keep this kiss going. Totally forgetting about the mission and the men outside the door. All that matters right now is Lucy and her lips on his.

How Lucy has the self control to pull herself from him I don’t know. Gah it’s the grunt Tim does when she breaks off. *phew lord* That noise is doing things to me. Mmm. He was basically chasing her lips again when she broke off. Chasing that high of kissing her some more. He was very not ready for that to end. Also how glossy his lips look post kiss. She had her damn way with that man haha

He looks so dazed snd confused when she wipes his lips. Her hand shaking as she does this. I know we all joke about how “unnecessary” this kiss was. I think part of it was Lucy seeking comfort from Tim in this moment. The kiss quelling her Rosalind fueled anxiety. She needed to be connected with him for a moment before she could put it behind her or attempt to.

Tim was more than happy to oblige. Poor man has short circuited once again though. Eric once again the master of expressions comes through again. He doesn’t know how to restart. She’s like ok let’s do this and moves leaving Tim stand there in her wake. He is trying to figure out WTF just happened in the last 30 seconds.

We then get this pretty shot of them in the SUV. There is so much being said in the short time span of this shot too. We can see Lucy is still struggling with her PTSD. From the minute she heard the news Lucy has been scaling the walls emotionally. Almost like she’s back in that barrel. All her emotions threatening to drown her. Her lowering the window to get some air on her face. Cool her emotions down.

Looking at the bright lights trying to ground herself. To help her stay in character. Desperate not burn their UC covers. Tim looking over at her so much worry carried in eyes. She can feel his eyes on her and looks back at him. Their silent communication doing all the talking for them. She’s still in a panic but at least she has Tim with her. To keep her grounded and from spiraling out completely.

Tim giving the most space he’s given since this started. Not wanting to physically comfort her right now. Not because either of them want that space. It’s because he isn’t wanting to draw attention to her emotional distress. That would draw questions they can’t have right now. So they share a look and he doesn’t take his eyes off her. I love it so much.

Someone in the casino recognizes Jake. A girl. Which isn’t great. But does give us some protective Lucy which I always love. Finally getting to do that hair take down of her's. The one she threatened Stanton with back in 3x05. I love her taking charge of this moment. Getting this woman to back off. Don’t mess with Lucy Chen ya’ll lol They spot Angela and Aaron across the way after she lets this woman go. Figures this is the time to break off.

Lucy says she wants to gamble. See if they can get lucky three times in one day. Heh I love how he walks with her to them. Wish I could've fit the gif in. His hands on her shoulders from behind as they walk. Totally necessary to walk like this with her LOL I have a feeling this was possibly Eric being a goober steering her towards the table haha But either way I'm a happy girl with it. This was quite the married thing to do though regardless of why. I loved it. Also low key protecting her as they walk toward Angela and Aaron.

They update Angela on everything. Lucy’s first question is about Rosalind. Angela says she got a psycho lawyer to help break her out. We watch Lucy comprehend this. Saying 'Another Caleb....I knew it.' Then says Tamara needs protection. (No mention of Chris BTW) Her other fav human is with her. So no one else to protect from Rosalind. As they talk about this Lucy trying to keep her panic at bay but not doing the best job about it.

Angela picks up on it right away. Asking if Lucy is up for this? That she can pull out if she needs to. I adore Tim answering for her. Backing her and saying she’s solid. The look she gives Tim. My damn heart. He wasn’t gonna pull her till she told him to do so. Until then he supported and trusted her decision. The growth is astronomical in him. You see that written all over Lucy's face. It’s so damn good. You can tell she wanted to touch him as a thank you but stopped herself.

The minute they’re inside the room Lucy turns on the TV. Tim saves her from herself and turns it off. Saying they don’t know anything they don’t. Protective Tim is present through out this episode. Here for it. She is starting to spiral again and sits on the bed. She looks so tired and stressed out. Tim gives her a sweet compliment to cheer her up. He knows how down in the dumps she is about this. Wants to build her up in anyway he can. Saying how she's really good at UC. Just in awe of her once again.

The sweet smile he gives her when he says it too. Be more smitten Timothy I dare you. Lucy asks if he’s ok with her showering first? He says yeah. Then we see her break his brain once again. The door doesn’t close all the way and he gets a sneak peak of her naked back. He stumbles back to the bed trying not to look back at her. Replying 'Yeah... ok.. um fries.' LOL Lucy you have broken this man and I’m dying.

Eric once again crushes it with his facial expressions. Trying not to be turned on and needing a cold shower more than ever. What cracks me up is his sigh as he watches TV. Trying to drown out his dirty thoughts of her in the shower. She comes out saying the water pressure is epic. Wanting to steal the robes and asking if that's stealing? Tim says no it’ll just be charged to the room. She says ‘WE’ should take two then. There’s that married ‘We’ again.

You can tell Tim is antsy af to talk about their kisses. First off let me say how proud of I am of this man. This is the same man who couldn’t have a serious conversation with his current GF to save his life. He is the one to broach this topic with her. Once again making that first move. NEEDING to know if she’s feeling what he is very much feeling. Lucy is the one to bring this courage out in him. To want to talk about this.

He went far outside his comfort zone to get this convo started. Telling her it doesn’t feel like pretend to him. The look on his face as he says this. The hope in his eyes desperately trying to see if she is feeling their connection. Lucy panics and stutters in her reply. To me it’s not because she doesn’t feel the same. He has stunned her into silence. What she is worried about here is losing what they have.

To admit what’s going on between them means she now has something to risk. Something to lose if she does. Her person. The most important person in her life. Tim is far too important to her lose over them trying and possible failing. She is very aware it doesn’t feel like pretend. But isn’t willing to risk that. Ironically in a city like Vegas where one takes such risks. So she crushes Tim with her reply. Saying it’s an intimate act. It’s basic biology. You know a BS answer.

She is deflecting so she doesn’t have to risk losing him. Or confront this at all really. What she doesn’t know is the damage she just inflicted. Tim was already panicky from his convo with Angela about her not having feelings. He suddenly feels very alone in his desire for more. For feeling something. She’s basically rejected him in this moment. He is so sad with her reply.

He gives her one last chance with his ‘So you're saying it’s not a big deal? Doesn’t mean anything?’ She stumbles some more saying ‘Right?’ Wanting him to answer this question for her. She can’t possibly accept he wants her too. So she deflects once again. Tim put himself out there and she shut him down. Their convo is interrupted his cell phone. The looks she shoots his way break my heart. Knowing she’s hurt his feelings. When really she broke his heart a little.

It’s Angela with an update. He tells her he’s alone in the hotel with Lucy. Her ‘Uh oh’ always cracks me up. I love their friendship so very much. Her teasing is primo this season and it makes my heart happy. She is so shipping them and just wants her bestie to be happy. I love it. Telling him not to do anything she wouldn’t. He slams the phone shut and tosses it on bed. LOL

Lucy goes to dry her hair and there is a knock at the door. It’s the girl from earlier saying she knows he’s in there. Tim opens the door and gets hit in the face. They know he’s not Jake. Saying she told them he had a gut last time she saw him. That it was only 3 weeks ago. I mean that sucks for Sava. Means Jake was cheating on her long before 5x18.

He sends Wisco after Lucy and says he says not to kill her yet. Lucy is a BAMF and takes out most of the crew. This part is hilarious about her robe. I’m dying. 'Showed him the whole world just now.' Oh Lucy never change. Tim shakes his head so much I’m cackling. This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. So exasperated with he right now. I love how she stares down at him lovingly. But you know it’s just basic biology right Lucy?

I love love love him walking her up. That’s last bit of protectiveness being displayed. He doesn't want her to be alone. Tim saying he can’t wait to get out of these clothes. Lucy making a joke she isn’t going to miss that hairstyle. Then Tim is so cute and flirty says he kinda likes hers though. OMG he’s so damn cute. He is such a goner for her oh my word. Lucy’s smile not believing what she’s hearing. Gah this end portion was the death of me. Tim says I guess this is it as they approach her door. Saying they go back to being them tomorrow.

He almost seems sad about that fact. Lucy turning to him and sharing 'Right..everything that happened undercover they’ll leave behind'. No you won’t lol Then Tim does his dorky UC line and regrets it instantly. Scolds himself for that line. Basically saying why are you like this? LOL Cracks me up the way he shakes his head. Like why can't you be more smooth? Oh that's right because you're stupid in love with her and a nervous wreck about it. Funny pre-cursor to his 'Naked time.' line heh.

It’s then Lucy deciding to make a move here. All this talk about going back to being them stoking something inside her. Saying in a sense they’re still UC since they haven’t been debriefed. Tim not catching what she’s throwing down. Just replies 'I guess you’re right.' Lucy is eyeing him like she is ready to have him right then and there. Her ‘Mmhm.’. Trying to give him a hint as she flicks her eyes to the door. It’s then Tim starts to catch her drift. The look on his face when it hits him. Like he can't believe she feels the same way he does.

That there is something there. There is a whole lot of want and excitement in that man's eyes. Lucy has created a loophole of sorts. One where they’re still Jake and Sava. And what do Jake and Sava like to do? Have sex. Lots of hot sex. The amount of bedroom eyes Lucy is throwing at him is insane. The sultry inviting way she says ‘Do you want to come in?’ Tim falling back on his professional boundaries like he has for years. Tells her he shouldn’t…Not that he doesn’t want to. He SHOULDN’T. The song in this scene is solid too BTW. Whoever picks music for this show needs a raise.

Lucy nods and goes to open her front door. Tim looks longingly at her as she does. Lucy gives it one last go. Cranking it up on those sultry bedroom eyes of hers. Basically inviting Tim in to have his way with her. Gah Melissa killing it with the inviting stare. We watch Tim struggle outside her doorway. He has been fighting this instinct for YEARS. I’m sure whenever he had an impure thought he pushed it down. Shoved away any attraction to her. Pushed her away as well. Maintained the professional boundaries he set up years ago. (For the most part.)

Thing is he’s been slow receding those boundaries for years as well. Especially last season when that last bit of his wall collapsed. Slowly letting her into every aspect of his life. To the point that we are now here. Where Lucy is blatantly inviting him in for something very unprofessional. We see Tim have an internal battle with himself. Then basically says ‘F*ck it and comes in. His attraction and his draw to her winning out. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want this. Or hadn’t wanted it in the past before either.

Lucy asks him if he wants a drink? Can she make him one? Tim declining not wanting to waste any time in this precious loophole of theirs. Also didn’t need alcohol to have the courage to do this. He already pushed past that to even enter this apt. Not wanting to dull any senses or touch with alcohol. Wanting to be fully present with her. Lucy looks like was ready to jump his bones right then and there. The sexual tension is palpable. Their UST is off the charts with this entire scene but reaches critical levels once they’re inside.

Lucy understanding why he didn’t want that drink. Love her sweet but nervous smile as she goes to put her stuff down. It's then we see Chris there which ends up ruining everything LOL Just bleeding out on her couch. I love how Tim throws his head back when she see’s Chris is there. I’ll never forget that amount of hilarious memes Eric posted. People putting the funniest shit about him being there. I wish I could find them. They were SO funny. I’ll be honest as frustrated as I was in the moment I was glad they didn’t hook up. The UST was fantastic. Don’t get me wrong good god.

But it’s much better they got together the way they do this season. Way less mess and not worth the angst it would’ve caused for them to cheat on their SO’s. It’s the fact that they almost did that was so damn telling IMO. Phew well hot damn this was a beast to write. But I loved it. This premiere is fantastic from beginning to end. The amount of moments are unreal. Hell of a way to start out a season of non stop gifts. I haven’t watched S5 the number of times I’ve watched 1-4 so this will be fun. Excited to finish out this rewatch with you all as we count down to the S6 premiere. It’s 58 days btw...

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Side notes-Non Chenford

This isn’t something I enjoyed so much as it rubbed me the wrong way. Nolan getting a Golden Ticket. Lucy has accomplished more, done successful UC ops before and after she graduated FTO and is currently going on another UC but sure Nolan who was disgraced and held back gets one. Sure sure…it does for being Juarez in who I love so there is positives.

Tim telling Nolan he needs backup career when picking his assignment. LMFAO I LOVE THIS MAN.

Thank you thank you to this incredible fandom that has embraced these reviews. You all are amazing and I love every single like, comment and reblog I get. ❤️ shall see you all in 5x02 :)

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plussizefantasia · 8 months

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All of Me

Flufftober Day 11: Dancing Together

Steve Rogers x f!reader

Word Count: 1.1k

AN: I absolutely hate Steve's Endgame ending, but I'm not gonna lie and say that watching him slow dance with Peggy didn't make me cry. So here's my own version of it. The Song referenced is "All of Me" by Billie Holiday and you should definitely listen to it.

Please reblog if you liked this it really supports me and keeps me wanting to write more.

divider credit @royallaesthetics

You love your job. Really you do, but days like this tempt you to burn the building down just so that you won’t have to come in the next day.

It was one thing after another and by the time 5:00 rolled around and you were finally able to go home you wanted to shut the world out completely. The only thing was, Steve, your wonderful, amazing, devilishly handsome boyfriend had gotten back from a week-long mission today and wanted to spend all the time he could with you before he was sent away again.

You had forgotten Steve got back today, so when you opened the door of your apartment and heard the tell-tale signs of your boyfriend cluttering up your kitchen you didn't stop yourself from letting out a deep groan and banging your head against the wall.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see Steve, you loved him and wanted to spend every minute of the rest of your life with the man. It was simply that you had no energy for anything else today. Your boyfriend was famous for his golden retriever vibe, and you felt more like a black cat every minute.

“I take it you had a bad day then?” His arms wrapped around you from behind. You were so caught up in your pity party that you didn’t hear him the first time he called, nor did you hear him make his way to the door to intercept you.

You didn’t respond with words just another grumpy groan and burying your head into his chest. His arms rubbed up and down your back in a soothing manner. The same way that you rubbed his back after he woke up from a particularly bad dream.

“I made dinner” He spoke into the air above you, “It’s spaghetti and garlic bread and I even got some of that wine you like from the market in Little Italy.”

“Steve, I love you but I just can’t. Not today”

“I love you too doll, but you need to eat.” You really did feel bad for ruining what would have been a lovely night at home, but you just didn’t have the emotional capacity to care right at the moment.

“You shouldn’t even try to argue with me sweetheart, I’ve been told I’m pretty stubborn.” You knew he was right so you simply nodded into his chest and let him pull you towards the kitchen.

One of your favorite things about Steve was his ability to take charge. When you were with him you could kind of turn off your brain and just exist, knowing that he would take care of you. He always did and tonight was no different.

Steve handed you your plate and grabbed his, the portions alone revealing which plate belonged to whom. You are convinced that man could actually eat a whole horse if he put his mind to it. Instead, he just consumed entire boxes of pasta for dinner.

He guided you towards the comfy couch that took up most of the area in your living room and put on the show that the two of you watched when you didn’t want something that required too much thinking. He just wrapped his arm around the back of the couch and rested his hand on your shoulder mindlessly drawing shapes to reassure you that he was there. The two of you didn’t speak, he knew that you weren’t in a place where you could carry on a conversation and you knew that anything you did try to say would come out way too snappy and you would regret it later when you thought about it.

You did, however, lean into him and let the warmth of his body remind you of how loved you were. How days like this were rare, but not less difficult. How the man you loved was there for you and loved you even when you got into the dark places like this.

When your meal was finished Steve took your plate from you and placed it into the sink. You went to start the water and bent over to get the rubber gloves from their place under the sink. Steve’s gentle grip on your arm was enough to stop you, “I got it” he said.

“But, you cooked, so I-”

“I got it doll, I promise. Go take a bath, use one of your face masks. I’ll be out here when you’re done”. If you were feeling better you would’ve swooned, but all you did was place a kiss on your boyfriend's cheek and follow his instructions.

A hot bath with some candles and a face mask was all you needed to recenter yourself. It gave you time to think, to process what happened today, and to make a plan for tomorrow. When your hands began to prune and you felt much better about life you pulled yourself out of the bath and towards your bedroom to put on a pair of pajamas.

Dressed in one of your oversized sleep shirts, and a pair of shorts you ventured back out to the living room to find Steve and invite him to join you in a cuddle.

What you found made you fall in love with him all over again. Steve had placed and lit every candle the two of you owned around the place. You’re sure it could be considered a fire hazard. He had pushed the furniture to the side and had cleared a big area of the floor out. He had turned the old record player that you had found at an antique show last year and bought him for his birthday on, and softly coming out of the cone were the sweet and soft tones of Billie Holiday. Her song “All of Me” flowed out and surrounded you.

Steve himself was standing in the middle of the cleared-out space with his hand held out towards you. You took it without a second thought and he pulled you into his arms.

“I don’t deserve you” You muttered.

“You deserve the world, doll and I’m here to give it to you.” You don’t think you have the capacity to express how much you love this man but Billie was doing a good job for you.

“I’m no good without you’ You sang along and Steve smiled joining in with you.

It didn’t matter that you were in pajamas, or that you had just had one of the worst days in a really long time, Steve was here. And he had you. All of you. For the rest of forever.

#plus size reader #plus size!reader #fanfic #fluff #x reader #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x plus size reader

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hetalia-club · 5 months

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I’m going to vent some more about my ex because it’s good therapy lol

Feel free to keep scrolling.

Lol so remember my terrible abusive ex I broke up with last month that I vented on here about? Two years ago I made a reddit post on AITH because we got into this argument about eating thanksgiving at each others families houses and how he would get mad at me when I wouldn't eat a huge meal at his family's house but then he didn't eat at my families house (Which is honestly such a shame because my family's food is gas) and I also make some of the food at our thanksgiving so by the time I would get there to eat I wouldn't be hungry because I had just been guilted into eating a full plate an hour before.

I deleted the post because it blew up like crazy and everyone was calling him controlling and abusive and I was thinking "that seems a little much for a thanksgiving argument" I was getting a bunch of DMs of people telling me I needed to dump him and that if I needed help I could go to a clinic and I was just like "Tf are these people talking about!? This was just an argument about thanksgiving food…" I just think it's funny the answers were right there in front of me of thousands of strangers telling me I was in an abusive relationship and I ignored it. You truly don't know what it's like to be in a relationship like that until you're in one. You will convince yourself everything is fine and that everyone else is crazy for thinking that he's crazy. Just look at some of these comments lol

this is just a few of them. I remembered this post and decided to go back and re-read the comments after recognizing that he was abusive. I remember defending him so hard in my DMs being like “no you don’t understand you got him all wrong” turns out they had him all right lol and I was the delusional one. I’ve been doing along of self reflection and what not lately I’ve been trying to ever who I was before we got together because I feel like I was a different person. Less of a people pleaser, less emotional, less worried about what others think of me. I’m having to re-write my brain chemistry I feel. I still have to stop myself because I will ask myself “does ‘ex’ like when I do this?” And I have to remind myself it doesn’t matter what he likes anymore.

When we lived together he would insist i did all the cooking which is fine because I’m good at cooking. But the thing is I can actually only cook Italian American food, the reason for that is because it’s my favorite food and it’s all I ever want to eat. So it’s the only thing I make that’s any good. Because you know… it’s what i like so it’s what I make. Well about 2 years into our relationship he decides he’s going on a no carb diet. Which was an issue because I am on an all carb diet lol… I made food as normal for awhile and then one day he just went absolutely ballistic because he said I was abusing him because I wasn’t respecting his diet because I kept making pasta, which I wasn’t making pasta every day obviously… I didn’t make Italian every day but at least 2 times a week. but on this particular day I had made some kind of pasta but I had made him zucchini noodles, I even went out and bought a little thing to shred them with that day. It was probaly chicken parm because I eat that at least once a week. I once went three weeks with eating chicken parm every day and it was heaven . But apparently he didn’t like them and instead of being rational and just saying he didn’t like them he decided to have a toddler level fit because he didn’t what what I made. I was just like “okay then don’t eat it l…” he proceeded to not speak to me for three days and he even shoulder checked me in the hall way when he walked past me and it had me seeing red. So ever since then when I would make pasta I would make him a separate dinner which was so annoying. Because like he’s a grown fucking man… I shouldn’t have to make him a separate dinner it’s not my fault he decided to go on a no carb diet for no reason probably just to try and get me to stop making pasta which he never really liked (this was huge red flag and I should have known it would never work) he should have to deal with that himself I’m not his mom or his wife so i shouldn’t have just been like “okay learn how to cook then man child” but I’m too nice of a person and the guilt would have made me lose sleep. Because he would have just eaten cheese and lunch meat like a dumb ass because if I didn’t cook for him that’s what he would eat because he was an ACTUAL man child and couldn’t cook anything but scrambled eggs even then he wouldn’t use grease or butter so they would just fuse with the pan and I had to scrub it off because he would just put it in the dishwasher as if that was going to do anything.

One time I had made like a vegan butternut squash soup because he likes butternut squash, I don’t I think it’s gnarly. I even whipped out an emulsion blender for it, real fancy like. Well he decided he wanted chicken with it for some unknown reason even though HE requested it for dinner so he knew no meat was involved. so he decided to throw a frozen chicken tender into a pan and he cooked it until it was trawled and that shit was like not even close to cooked and he was going to eat it so I had to stop eating, get up and recook his chicken because he would have given himself food poisoning. I didn’t even get so much of a thank you for possible saving his stupid life and he just ate it and left the pan with burnt bits for me to scrub because he again didn’t oil the pan so the chicken stuck to it and burnt onto the pan.

You may read this and think “omg how do you not realize this is abuse” well that’s because that was just how I lived for 5 years. It had gotten normal I understood how he was and he always told me “this is just how I am” so I figured “who would I be to change him if that’s his personality?” Now I do truly believe that is his real personality and he’ll never change. Mostly because when we broke up he straight told me “this is how I am I’m not changing for you or anyone” like it was something to be proud of. He truly believes the break up is something that can be reversed. I’m not sure if he even thinks we’re still broken up if that makes sense. He texted me as asked me if I wanted to go out to diner and I was like “lol no?” And he was like “I miss you though don’t you miss me?” And I was like “lol…no?” Like what is there to miss my guy? Like of course you miss me I did everything for you. I knew the second he realized “oh shit now I have to clean and cook?” he would want me back. I called it. I knew it was coming. It was a lot sooner than I expected tbh though…

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hiskillingjar · 11 months

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we love only the person we can eat

Relationship: Strade/Reader Rating: Explicit Contains: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Vaginal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Amputation, Love Confessions Length: 4600+ words:

Summary: “For us, eating and being eaten belong to the terrible secret of love. We love only the person we can eat [...] Eat me up, my love, or else I’m going to eat you up.”

Hélène Cixous (1998) Stigmata: Escaping Texts. pg. 78.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48093946

Loving someone shouldn’t feel like this, you think.

It should make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, it should feel like butterflies fluttering in your tummy, it should feel like safety, security, warmth and worship. It should be a feeling of girlish innocence and infatuation, bunny rabbits and taking the first steps past the gates of Disney World.

It shouldn’t feel like a virus or a disease that made your insides turn into poisonous mush and bile and spit, and threaten to spill out of you in a puddle of toxic vomit every time you opened your mouth.

It shouldn’t feel like your stomach and your brain were itching with insects and creepy-crawlies, maggots and worms, turning and squirming in your guts and never letting you feel a moment of stillness.

It shouldn’t feel like a life-encompassing obsession that convinced you that he would stop caring about you or even stop existing altogether if you stopped looking at him, stopped talking about him, stopped thinking about him, for even a second.

It shouldn’t feel like this.

But then again, you’re not sure if you even really felt love before this, before he saw you at the bar and took you for his own.

So maybe, this was exactly how love was supposed to feel.

“Ah…there you are. You’re waking up.”

It wasn’t often that you let yourself be underneath him, let yourself be taken so willingly, bare skin against skin. It wasn’t often that you allowed such a deliberate invasion of your space or exposure of your innermost vulnerabilities.

Not like you had much of a choice.

That night, you felt sluggish and slow and heavy, like you had a ton of weight strapped around your neck that kept your hazy eyes locked towards the ceiling, your neck pinned down to the bed. The pain you traditionally associated with being awake and living was replaced by an overwhelming numbness, so much so that it made your body feel cold and still, like a living corpse.

You assumed that your sluggishness was probably due to the drugs in your system. Strade was always pretty sloppy when it came to chemicals.

Not that you could blame him, though. He was more of a hands-on kind of guy, after all.

"Hey, buddy," He said with a slight tilt of his head, a playful lilt to his voice as he peered down, a slow smile spreading on his face as he considered you with a hungry twinkle in his golden eyes. "You doing okay? You were out of it for a while."

"Ngh," You attempted to speak, to make some kind of vocalisation (in either agreement or disagreement, you weren’t quite sure), but your tongue felt as heavy as your head did, loose and lousy behind your teeth, inside your skull.

He chuckled affectionately as he knelt up on the bed, the mattress dipping low underneath his weight (he had packed it on in the last couple of years since things had slowed down on his end of running the streams), pushing a hand through your hair. He wasn't gripping it just yet, he wasn't hurting you (a surprise in its own right), as he gently urged your head forward, your neck straight, and your eyes to meet his.

"Ah, I think I gave you too much sedative." He mused thoughtfully, raising his other hand to gently caress your cheek, his thumb tracing over your parted lips where a thin stream of drool was running down your chin, down your neck. "Whoops. My bad, I guess." He then said with a laugh. “You know me. I’m lousy with anything stronger than chloroform.”

In a moment of uncharacteristic gentleness (maybe he was in an especially good mood tonight), Strade started to kiss your cheek, down your neck, across your collarbone, practically doting on you and making your slack body tremble and shiver.

"I mean, I didn't have to sedate you," He then said with a casual shrug, giving your cheek (a smear of wet still clinging to your skin from his kiss) a few light taps, as if he was trying to wake you up from a deep slumber, wake you from your sluggish fatigue. "That was just me being nice, really. So I think a thank you is well deserved…”

He then brought his face closer to yours for a moment, raising a single brow with a silent question. A quiet reminder of just how dangerous he was capable of being, if he wanted to be.

“Don’t you?” He then said, his voice low.

“Mm,” You hummed, giving your head a little shake as you tried to kick yourself out of your sluggish daze and be as lively as he wanted you to be (and you were getting so tired of being lively). “T…thank you…”

“You’re welcome.”

His smile lines were deeper than they once were, and the corners of his eyes wrinkled and softened handsomely as he smiled, in a way they didn’t when you first met.

He was aging gracefully, he didn’t even have a single grey hair yet, and he had given you the privilege of aging alongside him. You could only guess the number of people who hadn’t been given such a privilege.

“Why did you sedate me?” You then asked, though your words were more of a mumble than anything else, your tongue still heavy behind your teeth.

"Oh, I wanted to do something special.” He replied, his voice a touch softer than usual as his smile softened too. “It’s our big day, after all.” He traced a thick finger along the curve of your jaw, down your neck, tracing the line that he had previously kissed. “I mean, it's kind of like an anniversary, don't you think, fräulein ? Seven years is an awfully long time for two people to be together. We ought to celebrate it."

Together.

He said the word so easily.

He implied a togetherness, a quasi-relationship that wasn’t built off a sadomasochistic need for fear and pain that was so terrifying and obscure and truly sublime in the most Gothic sense of the word, with such conviction that you were almost certain that he was joking, that he was teasing you.

And you were so easy to tease. You and your wide-eyed hopes, your romantic dreams, your tragically romantic books that depicted darkness and lightness in tandem, your cheesy romcoms that he bought for you and made fun of.

Together.

Were you?

He took a quiet moment to consider you further, his fingertips brushing tenderly over every scar that marred your shoulders, your chest, your barely exposed sternum, every cut, scrape or bruise, with such care and compassion despite him being the cause of the majority of them.

“I think we’re worth celebrating,” He brought his face close to yours, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth as his big hands mapped the span of your body as if he was trying to devote it to his memory, like he was afraid of possibly losing it. “ You’re worth celebrating.”

Really, when he spoke like that and touched you with a gentleness he never showed to anyone else ( because you’re special, you’re special, you’re special, that’s why he kept you, that’s why you were still alive ) , it's no wonder that you were keening up against him (the best you could), chasing his mouth with your own, wanting to be so close to him that your bodies merged together.

Loving someone shouldn’t feel like this, you think.

But you don’t want any other kind of love anymore.

Finally, he brought his mouth to yours in a deep kiss, one strong hand cupping your cheek, his grubby nails digging into the soft flesh as the other reached down and dug into your hip, groping and squeezing. When you gasped against his lips, he took the opportunity to press his tongue into your mouth, suffocating and all-consuming, and your eyes rolled back into your skull as you let yourself be so thoroughly invaded.

If it were possible for him to consume you, wholly, you would have let him, you think.

You knew that impulse came from something fucked up and Freudian, a wanting to be consumed by a man you should have hated but loved so deeply and intimately that it made you want to throw up, but that didn’t stop you from yearning for it.

You yearned for Strade to devour you with his sharp cannibal teeth , to tear flesh and muscle, to rupture skin and fat, and be devoured himself, in the truest sense of the word, in the unity of shared skin, bones, body, and blood.

But, because he couldn’t devour you (not in the literal, all-consumptive sense, at least), you, instead, pulled away from the kiss, raised your head, and bit his collar-bone to fill that violent yearning that haunted every dream and waking nightmare, marring his skin with rough indentations and pinpricks of blood welling at the surface of his tan skin.

Strade didn't mind.

“Ngh, scheiße !” He sucked in a pained hiss through his teeth, though that didn’t stop a dangerous grin from coming to his face as you dug your teeth in even deeper. “Ah…ahhh, little devil, this is how you want to play, ja?”

If anything, the pain made him all the more excited as he growled out his arousal and pressed himself even closer to you with another firm and invasive kiss, his cock hard through his slacks and rubbing against the soft mound of your cunt through your shorts, open and weeping and already begging to be stuffed to the very brim with his cock.

Gasping your own arousal against the deep kiss, your thighs parted with an unspoken invitation as you reached up (with shaking hands, the sedative hadn’t worn off just yet) to yank his shirt open, popped buttons shooting aside, and push it down his shoulders and his arms.

Despite the weight gain, and his general lack of strenuous activity as he had gotten older, Strade’s arms were still strong and well-defined (the strength gained from years of lugging around dead bodies didn’t go away that quickly, it seemed). You allowed yourself an ever-indulgent moment to stroke up and down them, feeling the warmth of his tan skin, the slick of the sweat clinging to him, and reveling that he was alive, he was real, you could touch him.

“So needy,” He teased with another grin, his words whispered against your parted, kiss-bitten lips as your shaking fingers traced over his tattoo, stripe-stripe-arrow (you’d never even asked what it meant). “You’re so desperate for me, fräulein. You never change.”

As he spoke, he reached down to unbuckle his belt and unzip his khakis, idly squeezing and groping his cock through his underwear, a damp spot of pre-cum soaking the thin fabric. Your mouth watered for him (literally, from the way you were still drooling down your chin).

“You don’t want me to change,” You replied, letting your lips trail down his chin and to his jaw, pressing a quick kiss to his scar before kissing down his neck, relishing in the low rumble of pleasure he let out as you did so. He really did like it when you paid attention to him. “Not really.”

“ Ja, that’s true.” He hummed, his free hand reaching down to your left thigh, spanning over the soft flesh and kneading it idly as he continued to grope his cock. “I picked you up exactly how I wanted you to stay forever. Hungry,” He sighed with pleasure, digging a canine into his bottom lip as you teased the bites on his collar bone with your tongue. “Needy, and so eager to please. Ha!” He barked out a gruff laugh, giving your thigh a slap and making your entire body flinch (despite the still-flowing sedative in your blood). “Let’s see if we can keep you like this for seven more years, hm?~”

At the very idea (and kind of promise) that he would be keeping you for at least another seven years, you dig your teeth into him again and again ( and again and again and again) , decorating his soft chest with bloody declarations of ownership (as close as you were going to get to ownership, anyway) and possessive love.

It was clear that that was enough to encourage Strade to take a scarred hip in each hand and effortlessly slide his hard cock inside of you, your loose shorts pushed aside and clinging to your puffy labia, groaning at the ease, the warmth, and the hot, tight heat of your cunt.

A flicker of discomfort came to your face as Strade started to fuck you, but it subsided as quickly as it came as he gradually built up a steady rhythm of shallow thrusts, barely giving you enough stimulation for pleasure (you liked to be teased in that way) and demonstrating only an interest in pleasing himself.

It’s a good pace, you thought as you reached down to circle your erect clit, standing tall and proud, with one hand, making yourself gasp and whimper, and one that Strade had to learn in the seven years since your initial capture.

He’d been a lousy lay at the beginning, seeking only a warm hole to sink his dick into when he was in the mood (whether it was a consenting hole or not), but since then, since coming to know each other and learning about each other’s bodies (in a way that was wholly consenting, albeit not at all safe or sane), he’d gotten much better.

Biting your lip as pleasure slowly started to build in your core, you took Strade's sweaty face in your free hand, staring up at him intently as he continued to relentlessly fuck you.

His face was uncharacteristically flushed and his eyes, the colour and sticky depth of honey, were hazy, half-lidded and incredibly hungry. His lips were kiss-bitten and parted to let out short breaths of exertion as he kept moving and gradually picking up the pace like a brutal machine, slamming his full hips against yours, his belly straining against the still-clinging buttons of his shirt.

“ Ich möchte dich verschlingen, ” He panted out, a bead of sweat trickling down his cheek and dripping down on your chest as he fucked you, before he brought his face closer to yours, his teeth bared. “ Meine fleisch, meine liebe~”

His mouth watered to tear you apart with his teeth, because he was only half man, not so much, and the rest fiend .

But he couldn’t do that, not yet, not truly, so he pressed a hungry kiss to your mouth instead, biting your lips and pressing your tongues together in a grotesquely erotic merge of fluids and flesh.

Strade's pounding cock brushed against a tight bundle of nerves deep inside of you, making your entire body, suddenly alive and brimming with energy and burning, aching fire, flinch and tremble. You were instantly compelled to throw your arms around his neck and sink your nails into his back, marring his skin even more with bloody lines and crescent moons dug into his flesh.

“Ah-hah!” Your once hazy eyes shot wide open and bloodshot as a prickling, electric shot of pain shot through your entire body and made your spine arch and bend. “F-Fuck-!”

The sedative had worn off, well and truly, and suddenly, the intense pain of your amputated leg ( your amputated leg, he FUCKING CUT YOUR LEG OFF HEFUCKINGMAIMEDYOUFUCKINGMONSTER) is the only thing you can feel. The deep gash on the bottom of what used to be your knee throbbed and burned, your very bone aching and burning in the meat of your thigh, and you had to dig your teeth into Strade's shoulder to stop yourself from screaming out in pain.

“Oh, there it is. That’s it,” He panted into your ear with a filthy grin, running his tongue over your ear and digging his teeth into your lobe, the same as you did. “Feel it, meine liebe . Feel the pain and remember what I did to you .”

You whimpered helplessly against his shoulder, clutching onto him and wrapping your leg around his full waist, trying desperately hard to ignore the consistent throbbing.

"Do you remember how it tasted?" He then growled into your ear again with a cruel smile, pushing himself as deep as he could inside you, spearing you on his cock and watching intently (his golden eyes wider than you had ever seen them) as you writhed and squirmed beneath him. A pinned-down butterfly with a needle through its middle, an animal skin waiting to be filled, a rabbit thrashing for freedom beneath the jaws of a wolf, foolish enough to consent to their capture. "Remember how you begged to taste yourself on my tongue, meine liebe ? What a sick, little freak you are."

"Nnoooo-" You whined helplessly as you tipped your head back with a desperate groan, your hips pushed back against his cock as he wrapped a hand around the stump of your leg and pulled you closer to him. "No, no, noooo..."

"Yesss~" He drawled with a mean chuckle, his honey-coloured eyes half-lidded as he used his grip on your thigh to pull you down onto him, as if you were a toy, a doll in his lap. "And you loved it, didn't you? You loved that I cared about you enough about you to eat you, to devour you and hold you inside myself forever...ah, fräulein, what a poor creature you are."

"S-Strade," You gasped, whining out a broken gasp of pain and pleasure, his thick cock filling every inch of you and making you shake and tremble with desperate, yearning want, despite the excruciating pain that was now shooting from your scalp to the very tip of your toes. "Please, please, I can't-"

"It's too much, isn't it?" He cooed softly, as the hand not on your thigh reached up to idly grope your chest, rolling the piercing through your nipple between this thumb and pointer finger, listening to each of your whimpers and whines. "All too much for a sweet, little thing like you to handle.”

All you could do was try to jerk your head away and look somewhere else, the ceiling, the wall, the fucking carpet for all you cared right now-

“Hah, you know, I would have thought you'd built up a bit of an endurance to it after seven years!" He laughed again and pinched your nipple cruelly, tugging at the hoop with a teasing grin when you let out a shrill shriek of pain at the motion. "You always have a way of staying soooo interesting, meine liebe . That's why I like you so much~"

He then dipped his head to indulgently run his tongue over your chest, nipping at the hoop through your nipple and giving it a mean little tug as he continued to relentlessly fuck you.

"That's why I love you."

And for whatever reason, just hearing those words, everything around you fell into place.

You stopped shrieking, and crying and twisting away from him. Even the pain stopped, in the traditional sense, replaced with a burning ricocheting through your trembling body as you stared up at him, like you were staring at an angel, a twisted kind of God, and not the fucking Devil himself.

“Because I do,” He continued, meeting your eyes with his own as he looked down at you. “I do love you. Very much.”

“I love you too,” You gasped out, feeling a cold sweat clinging to your forehead as you reached up to cling onto him, digging your nails into his shoulders like you were scared of being pulled away from him, scared of losing him. “I love you, I love you, I love you-!”

You were tethered, you thought, as you dipped your head and tongued one of the bites you had left behind on Strade's shoulder, like a dog tongued an enemy's lacerated throat, as Strade fucked you deeper, earning more scratches and cuts down his back, not even a modicum of the pain he inflicted on you so easily, so readily.

“This is all for you,” He then murmured softly, his voice low and even gentle sounding as he brought his face closer to yours again, every hard edge of his features softened by the low light of the setting sun, to the degree that he almost looked as harmless and charming as he did on the very first night you met.

“So be sure to savour it.”

You kissed him again, desperately hard like you were a man starving, and in your frenzied haste, you bit down too hard, somehow managing to rupture the thin skin of Strade’s bottom lip, a rivulet of blood suddenly streaming down his chest and staining his mouth, his lips, his teeth.

It was a perfect taste, you thought, as you thrust your own tongue into his mouth, wrapping yourself entirely in him as he pushed his cock even deeper inside of you.

You didn’t like sex before this, not really, at least not in the traditional sense because you had always liked what you and Strade had done together (no matter how grotesque, repulsive of wrong), but you like how inseparable your bodies have become through this erotic unification.

Is it your own thigh that you’re touching, or is it Strade's? Is it Strade's blood that’s spilling across your tongue or your own? Is Strade's cock inside of you or has it always been there, a part of you?

In the light of the setting sun, sealed away from the eyes of anything normative or traditional, the lines between you and Strade began to blur and were replaced by a mass of writhing, sweaty flesh, and you liked that.

You preferred being rendered monstrous through your own actions to being deemed monstrous by those who cannot see them.

Because you were a monster, in the truest sense, and he had seen the monster in you and loved you, not despite it but because of it.

Strade kissed you again, fiercely, thrusting so deep inside of you, inside of your pulsing cunt, that you could practically feel it in your lungs (you wondered, for maybe a moment too long, what that would actually feel like, Strade thrusting his cock into your vivisected chest), pressing your chests together, smearing the blood that was still dripping down his chin against your pale skin and tethering your bodies even more.

After a few more short, erratic thrusts, you could feel your core tighten and throb around Strade’s still-thrusting cock, and your entire body trembled and shook from pain, pleasure, and sheer exertion.

Like a mean form of payback, Strade suddenly bit down on your lower lip (with his sharp cannibal teeth), and a burst of blood coated both your probing, writhing tongues and trickled down your chins, painting your bodies even more so in brutal pleasure.

With Strade's hands on your hips, grubby, bitten fingernails digging into the soft flesh, your pale skin, he pushed himself even deeper with one final thrust and ejaculated deep inside of you, pushing you, himself, over the line of orgasm and into a world of white-hot, mind melting ecstasy.

Maybe it’s poetic that you came together so often. Romantic.

The one rendition of romance you had, barring the cannibalism.

You were the first to pull away, nearly collapsing back against the bed and letting out a deep exhale as you run your tongue over your wounded lip, hissing at the sensitivity of it.

What was another wound, though? It paled in comparison to the still burning, throbbing pain of your amputated knee.

Strade took a moment to indulge in a rare vulnerability, not even trying to detangle himself from you and opting instead to cage you down against the bed underneath his weight, resting his head on your chest and his slowly softening cock, still weeping, pressed to your right thigh.

He reached up to idly stroke over the lacerations that ran down the center of your sternum, a poor man’s attempt at vivisection when he was feeling particularly ambitious, and you ached for him to push his fingers past those scars and penetrate you even deeper.

You ached for him to devour even more of you, for him to reach into your chest, to pull out bones, flesh, and organs and tear into you, engulfing you completely and carrying you with him always, no matter what he did to you.

That way, you would always win//

"I left your prosthetic downstairs," He murmured softly after a long moment of comfortable silence, before he sat up on the edge of the bed and pressed a quick kiss to your temple, nestling his face against your soft hair (longer than it had been when you first met). "How is it feeling? Still painful?"

"Y-Yeah…it hurts," You said with a soft hiss as he ran his fingers over your gash, your body trembling a little at the pain but trying hard not to flinch or cringe away. You could endure it. "Can I have another dose?"

"Hm?" He hummed a non-verbal question, his voice an ever-playful lilt as a teasing smile spread on his face. "You want another dose of sedative, is that it?"

"Please," You pleaded softly, keening into his touch, your cheek pressed into his palm. “For our special day?”

"Mm, I'll think about it," He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your other cheek as he idly pushed his fingers into your hair, petting you like a dog, a cat, or an animal in his bed. "I'll go get your prosthetic for now.” He fished in his pocket for a moment and took out his phone, checking the time with a swipe of his finger. “I think Ren should be finishing up on the stream by now, so we can have a late dinner together to celebrate. Okay?"

You couldn’t think of a reason to try and argue against him.

"Okay." You nodded and smiled the best you could, despite the pain, leaning up to chase after a kiss as he stood to his feet, buckling his belt and buttoning up the (remaining) buttons of his shirt.

He gave the kiss to you readily, reaching forward and cupping your face gently with his free hand, his thumb tracing over your chin, and your bottom lip as he pulled you into a soft, close kiss.

Just as he gave his love to you readily now.

“ Meine liebe, ” He whispered softly against your lips between kisses, his eyes deeply fond as he stroked his thumb up and down your cheek. “You’re mine, sweet thing. Mine to kiss and to fuck and to devour, and to love, however I want . Remember that.”

“I’m yours,” You whispered in a reply, pressing your own kiss to his smiling lips. “Always.”

Strade didn’t say another thing. He didn’t need to when he smiled so proudly and kissed your cheek, running his fingers through your hair for an indulgent moment of softness before he stood to his feet and left you in the bedroom, idly shouting for Ren as he paced down the stairs.

You fell back against the bed with an exhausted huff, your body a mess and your lip, your neck, your shoulders, and your leg throbbing in pain.

Loving someone shouldn’t feel like this, you thought, as you looked down where your leg used to be, the dark gash marring the tattooed skin of your right thigh, a cruel reminder of his ownership over you.

But he was right. It was the perfect kind of romance for the two of you to share.

A perfect romance and a perfect meal.

Loving someone shouldn’t feel like this.

But you didn’t want any other kind of love anymore.

Not ever again.

#boyfriend to death #btd #you kill me every time #ykmet #strade btd #strade ykmet #strade x reader #IT'S BEEN SEVEN YEARS #MOTHERFUCKERRRRRR #i don't want to fix him i want him to EAT ME #ray's fics

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bijoumikhawal · 5 months

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Bite the Hand that Starves You: Chapter One

(originally posted 12/5/23 on AO3)

Fic as of chapter contains: discussion of abortion, references to drug use, intersex and trans characters

---

Julian shouldn’t have been in the infirmary at this hour. His shift ended quite some time ago, but while he was up eating a middle of the night snack, he realized he’d forgotten a personal padd down here with a book he’d been reading on it. He certainly could have replicated a new one. But the excuse to get in a decent walk and enjoy the quiet of the station at night had convinced him otherwise.

Vusora wasn’t up and about the main room of the infirmary. More likely than not a patient had called for her- over-nighters were moved to private rooms, if possible. Ishiha either was also helping a patient or had been allowed to rest early.

Julian felt a bit uneasy, though this was all normal.

His unease grew when he heard a slight sound from near the back.

Quietly, he walked towards it. Maybe it was a nurse. If it wasn’t, he didn’t want to tip them off.

He heard another scuffling sound, and he was close enough to determine it was the pharmaceutical closet, normally locked. Then silence.

When Julian had the inside in his direct line of sight, it was hard to describe what he felt.

“Oh, Garak.”

Garak didn’t turn to face him, simply holding still like he was contemplating the possibility of melting into the shelf.

---

Julian sat down across from Garak in his office. "Alright. Why were you attempting to steal from the infirmary stores?"

Garak had gone along with him without struggle, but was petulant as expected. "Why do you think? Surely you remember the last few months."

Julian rested his chin on his hand. He certainly did. After Garak claimed to be recovered, there naturally were aftershocks. He reluctantly submitted himself to checkups- for a week. Then he abruptly refused to see just about anyone, working on alterations from his quarters and only having his shop open for two hours each day, primarily to allow customers to pick up their orders and do final fittings.

That bizarre behavior had ended a few weeks ago… not too long before the incident with the Dominion simulation.

"I'm just curious, if you are looking for a high, whatever made you think this would do it." Julian held up the vial, having slipped it into his hand while ushering Garak out.

"I'm curious as to why you haven't called security."

Julian continued, ignoring him. "Perhaps you were reaching for something else?" He rolled the vial in-between his fingers before putting it on his desk. "Because this is a Rigellian abortifacient. And while I'm not certain, the information I do have leads me to believe taking any significant dosage would likely give a Cardassian liver damage." It was a 77.6 percent likelihood based on current data, his brain provided helpfully.

Garak looked at him balefully, saying nothing.

Julian tapped the top of the vial. "I would've hoped you had learned not to hide this sort of thing from me, Garak."

"Yes, yes, you're very clever, doctor. You simply know about every sneeze on this station the second it happens." Garak said with a sneer.

"Are you pregnant, Garak?"

Garak retreated again. "Don't be absurd."

"What's absurd about it? I haven't done that kind of examination, of course, so I don't know your personal anatomy, and that makes it a very fair question."

His mouth was held in a firm, thin line.

"Garak. I'm not judging you, or whatever it is that made you think stealing medication was a wise course of action. I just want to help." Julian paused. "And if you are, even a Bajoran medication-"

"-Is still not suited to my biology and has similar risks to what you have in your hand right now. I decided acute liver failure was preferable to cardiopulmonary damage."

Julian didn't smile. "Alright. I'm fairly certain it's less likely, but that would be a risk." He made a mental note that Garak might have a family history of heart and lung problems.

Garak seemed put out that by saying such, he had admitted to the issue. He also just- seemed tired. Some of his hair had escaped the hold of the styling product he normally used. There was redness in his eyes, too, and though the implant had been deactivated months ago, he still looked somewhat ill.

Julian leaned forwards. “I’m not currently planning on reporting this.”

Garak scoffed. “I guessed as much. You should, you know.”

Julian closed his eyes and inhaled. “Which of us is the doctor, again? You seem to have come under the impression that it’s you.”

“When it comes to me, I should think we’re evenly matched.”

Julian didn’t rise to the bait. “As I said, I just want to help. Unfortunately, my knowledge is limited in this area.”

Garak’s hand settled on the desk. Julian picked up the vial again.

“Give me two months.” Julian said. “And if I don’t have a better option, I’ll administer the dose. I’ll do everything I can to mitigate the side affects- anything you need.”

Garak was death-still, gaze tilted downwards.

Julian cautiously reached out, resting his hand on Garak’s upper arm. He could feel his muscles stiffen, then relax under his touch. “I would think this goes without saying, but I will speak of this to no one on this station. And if you need someone- to talk to, to help you, to-“

“I understand.” Garak said, in the tone of someone who just wished you’d stop talking.

Julian gave his arm a squeeze.

“Is this something you offer for all your patients?”

“You’re my friend as well as a patient.” Julian keyed his office door back open, standing at the door to let Garak know he could leave like a dvarapala. “It's late- you should head home, get some rest. I’ll call you when I’m more prepared to help you with this.”

Garak didn’t need much encouragement to go. Julian went back to his office to mark down some notes. And when he left, of course he almost forgot his padd again.

---

Nothing was quite as humiliating as getting caught while doing something he should have been perfectly capable of. And worse, he wasn’t even in trouble for it, because it was such a pathetic thing to be caught doing.

Garak kicked the wall of the turbolift with uncharacteristically unrestrained violence. Of all the things that could compound the situation here, this was the last thing he’d expected. It was a possibility, yes- but it had slipped his mind entirely in the years he'd spent as the only Cardassian on the station, which was unforgivable.

And of course, of course Dr. Bashir had been understanding about it. Garak wished he had called security. There were rules, and so there were consequences. That all made sense. Mercy! What was mercy- foolishness, a tool of confusion, a lapse in duty!

Everything was so sharp without the wire.

He wondered to himself, if Dr. Bashir was relieved that he hadn’t been trying to get high, or if he was confounded by him having yet another medical issue. Probably not the latter- challenges were met with eagerness and a cocksure attitude that a solution could be found. Dr. Bashir was still early in his career, after all, and even doctors with decades of experience…

He needed an auxiliary plan. Certainly, Dr. Bashir had said he’d administer the treatment himself, but he’d only said it, and even if he’d offered to make a record of it, he was free to change his mind. It was a privilege of expertise.

He wondered what all got reported back to the Order about him these days, if they had surveillance on the infirmary, and if Tain was thinking on him with disgust already.

A moment of anger seized him. If Tain thought so of him, he had no one to blame but himself. It was his “tactical decision” that had gotten Garak unto this mess, a simple “no” on his part, or even stating that he didn't care what Garak did, and this never would have happened. Or even-

Garak breathed. Counted. Centered himself.

Allowing such thoughts to fester would only worsen his chances of no longer being exiled. No use in bitterness over the past. He had enough to deal with- and it was almost more than he could handle.

Ideally, when he exited the turbo lift, no one who may be watching noticed anything was amiss. Aside from him perhaps seeming tired. A particularly kind person might’ve asked, “late night?” he imagined, if the corridor to his quarters was not silent save for his own footsteps.

The difference between the temperature in his quarters and the rest of the station was such that opening the door felt like a wall of fire coming to meet him. He had limited the impulse to tamper with the environmental controls in previous years- but when he felt his out of season mating cycle coming on, well. It became necessary. And when it ended abruptly, he hadn't the sternness to turn it back down.

A shudder went through him at the thought of how necessary it’d become if this wasn’t dealt with.

That wouldn’t happen. He would make a plan of his own if this fell through.

---

Julian summoned him to his office a week later, still in the late hours when Garak had first gotten caught. He phrased it as “a follow up for your implant, to set my mind at ease”.

Garak had (painfully) skipped their lunch that week, so this would be the first time seeing him since that night.

The corridors were just as empty as they’d been last time. It wasn’t quite as late as it had been then, but even Quark’s was closed.

Julian was sitting in his office. When Garak closed the door behind him, he immediately began fiddling with a small device next to him, and sat it down on his desk once he was satisfied.

“A signal jammer? Why, doctor, I’d think having recordings of your patients in general was a major ethical violation.”

“It’s not for me. But you know that.” Garak did- he knew that Odo and the good doctor had come into rather major disagreement over the former’s desire to install recording equipment in the infirmary.

Julian also had a pad of paper and a pen sitting on his desk. Off Garak’s look, he said, “You can’t hack paper. I assume you’d prefer this is kept… relatively off the record.”

A correct, though complicated assumption. All of this was already “on the record”- logs of doors being opened and turbolifts being used, security camera footage (Garak was reasonably sure he’d avoided that until he got caught last time, but hadn’t bothered after that), and so on. Julian had provided some cover by having his communication obscure the nature of his late night visits, but Garak felt somewhat doubtful he would be able to keep it that way- no matter how much he wished it, that the only evidence in the end would be memory.

“First. Are you certain you’re pregnant?”

Garak glared at him. “Do you think I’d try to steal from the infirmary on a suspicion?”

“I need to know where we’re at, Garak, and that includes asking questions you may find stupid. How did you find out? How long ago do you think this happened?”

Garak looked down to his hand, which had located a loose thread in the chair upholstery and was spinning it between his fingers, feeling the slubbed texture. “It happened a little over a month ago. There were some… unexpected behavioral changes, and certain biological processes didn’t quite happen as expected since.”

“I would prefer specifics, if you can.” Garak’s eyes slowly met his. Julian held up a hand.

“I did say if you can. I don’t doubt you’re certain based on the information you have, but I’m not familiar with this area of Cardassian healthcare, and with any patient I’d rule out any chance of false positives before proceeding.”

“How can you rule out a false positive if you don’t know?”

Julian tapped his pen against his desk. “Why do you think I waited a week before asking you to come for a preliminary appointment?”

The knowledge that Julian already likely knew specifics of why Garak might be reticent to be detailed made him no less embarrassed. Let him put the pieces together, if he knew so much. “I've had an increased need to be warm, a dramatically increased appetite followed by a low one, sluggishness, worsened mood, and pheromone changes.”

“You can sense your own pheromone changes?” Julian asked as he scribbled notes.

“You can smell when you sweat, can’t you?” Garak replied. “Among other… things, the latter in particular makes me quite certain of what’s going on.”

Julian opened a desk drawer- how clever of him, Garak thought irritably, keeping things out of sight until he needed them- and brought out two sets of a swab and a container. “If you don’t mind.”

Garak tilted his head to the side, allowing Julian to rub each swab over his jaw glands. “Out of curiosity- how do you plan to test those if this is “off the record”?” he asked, distracting himself from his increased heartbeat at having to adopt the posture.

“I’ll say I’m testing the equipment. It doesn’t get logged in patient records, so anyone you’re worried about wouldn’t immediately think to look there, it’s a separate indexing system, and I schedule tests on a regular basis. I can claim that I think there was an error and retest within a few days if that makes you feel better- bury the data somewhat.”

“I don’t think that will be necessary.”

Julian put the swabs away. “Are there any particular medical concerns you have?”

“Other than the obvious?” Garak had managed to tear the thread out by now, and his spinning was making it twist into a little ball. He dropped it.

Julian looked at him, trying to be compassionate- Garak hated it. And he hated that he was aware the reaction wasn’t founded on anything he had actually done to offend Garak, not really. It was evidence to Garak’s- problem.

“I don’t want to be pregnant. That’s all.”

Julian nodded. “I understand. There’s a few more questions I’d like to ask, if you would.”

Garak leaned back in the chair with a sigh.

#ds9 #Garashir fic #garashir #star trek deep space 9 #cipher talk #My writing #Fic: Bite the hand that starves you #I'm gonna try to get the second chapter up later today

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laminy · 1 year

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if ur taking fic asks would you mind writing a Colin/Micheal fic where Colin has a panic attack and Micheal comforts him

Isaac had told Colin that was he was alright, but Colin feels less sure about that now. A lot less sure. He knows he should be chuffed that they beat Wolverhampton. But he has to admit that a part of (maybe all of him) was hoping that Zava would show up, play like absolute shit, and Colin would get to play again.

He has no idea how he’s supposed to compete with someone who scores from the halfway line three seconds into the match. Everyone else on the team was celebrating, and Colin was sat there on the sidelines, realizing that his future with Richmond was… Maybe not gone. But certainly not secure.

And that scares the absolute shit out of him.

Just like Nate always wanted.

He can’t find it in himself to go out celebrating that night. He comes up with some excuse about having to call his dad, but nobody cares. They’re all too happy to bother with him. He goes home and eats alone. He tries to distract himself with his phone but every tweet is about Zava, all the Instagram reels are clips of Zava and commentators talking about Zava, Zava, Zava, and nobody gives a shit about Hughes.

He swallows hard past the lump in his throat, feeling like he’s about to burst into tears. The tears don’t come, though. But the lump in his throat doesn’t go away. It makes him feel like he can’t breathe. He gets a bottle of water and downs the whole thing, trying to convince his brain that yes, he can breathe, he’s fine. But it still won’t go away, and soon it feels like he’s gasping for breath.

The tears finally come, and as much as he’s trying to convince himself that, he’s still on the team, he still has friends, he’s still a strong and capable man, he feels like an absolute fucking failure. And after that, he’s gone. He can’t breathe, he can’t stop crying, he hates himself so much. He’s a piece of shit. And he can’t call Isaac, or Jamie, or anyone else, because they’re all out partying. Dr. Sharon left. Coach Lasso might answer but Colin’s not about to dump his anxiety on a guy with his own anxiety.

Furiously wiping at his eyes, Colin shakily opens his text messages, looking at his chat with Michael. Who’s in Dubai. Fucking hell, what’s the time difference? He knows Michael said but he can’t remember if it’s three or four hours. And he’s not really sure that they’re in the talk me through my panic attack phase of their relationship yet.

But if Michael rang him, crying, Colin would help. Colin wants to believe that Michael would do the same.

He clicks Michael’s photo, and then hits video, and waits while the FaceTime call rings. God, he looks like absolute shit.

That’s the first thing Michael tells him, too.

Colin has to laugh. “I know,” he says, wiping his face. “I— fuck. I’m sorry.” He sniffles and tries offering Michael a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Michael says warmly, always so warm to Colin. His smile is kind.

Colin sniffles again. He doesn’t need to drag Michael into this. “I shouldn’t have rang.”

“I think you should’ve,” Michael says. “Because you look like you need someone.”

“I can’t breathe,” Colin says.

“Do you need a doctor?” Michael asks quickly.

“No,” Colin says. “I can breathe, but I—” He swallows hard, and briefly registers that the lump has faded, at least a little. Talking is helping. “Can’t.”

“Okay,” Michael says. “You sound like you’re doing an okay job of it now.”

“My throat hurts,” Colin says.

Michael gives him a sympathetic smile. “Then let’s breathe in.”

Colin does as he told, and holds it, and then Michael tells him to breathe out so he does that too. And then he breathes in again, and repeats the process. The tears have stopped, but his cheeks are still itchy and now his eyes hurt, and he curls in on himself, drawing his knees up to his chest.

“So,” Michael says, “what’s going on?”

“Football,” Colin says. “What else.”

“I heard some people at work today talking about Zava,” Michael says.

“Yeah, I’m sure you did.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael says. “I can’t imagine.”

“It’s not just that I’m not playing,” Colin says. “It’s that none of them care that I’m not. They’re all so far up Zava’s ass that nobody realizes I…” He shakes his head, and new tears spring forward. “I’m pathetic.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’m a shit footballer.”

“Hmm.” Michael smiles, and playfully taps his finger against his lips as he thinks. “I don’t know enough about football to know if that’s true, but I suspect it’s not.”

“I’m a piece of shit.”

“Now I know that’s not true,” Michael says. “And I like Colin Hughes far too much to let anyone say such awful things about him.”

Colin swallows (the lump is almost gone) and gives him a tiny smile. “Yeah?”

Michael nods. “Yeah. So knock it off.”

That gets a laugh out of him. “Okay, I’ll try.”

“No,” Michael says. “Do or do not, there is no try.”

“Do not Star Wars me.”

“You’re footballing me.”

“Football’s cooler.”

Michael rolls his eyes. “You sound like you’re doing fine now, maybe I should go.”

“No!” Colin exclaims, and then a moment later realizes how desperate he sounds. Should he be embarrassed?

Based on Michael’s smile, he thinks maybe not.

“Stay,” Colin says. “Please. If you can. I know it’s late there.”

“It is,” Michael says. “And I do need my beauty rest.”

“No, you don’t,” Colin says. “You look gorgeous.”

Michael’s smile grows. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

“I wish you were back,” Colin says.

“Me too,” Michael says. “Soon.”

“Good.”

#colin hughes #colin hughes x michael #colin x michael #ted lasso fic #answering asks

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royalsweetteaa · 2 years

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Just like animals

Pairing: soft!dark!Bryce Langley x reader

GIF does not belong to me!

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI

WARNING - The following fic contains: Explicit smut/CNC kink, dub-con, breeding kink, chase kink, breeding kink, pain kink, unprotected sex, primal sex, sex in the woods, discussion of rape/murder/death/dark themes, talk of AFAB female assault/sexism/disadvangages, childhood friends trope, spoiler of character, degradation.

Summary: You spend your summer vacation with your childhood friend, Bryce Langley, and learn about his new obsession of questioning morals which otherwise really shouldn’t be questioned. How will he respond when you put him to the test?

Another summer season, another month spending your vacation at the Osbourne mansion household. It became a tradition after Bryce first invited you during your early years of your childhood, and now he didn’t even have to call an invite because it was expected of you to come.

He was 2 years older than you, yet he admittedly liked your company a lot. He was also very protective of you, not wanting to share his drugs with you even if you begged to try some. He didn’t want to risk getting you addicted and surrounding yourself in a drug use environment, much like him. It was hypocritical, but he didn’t care.

He wanted to keep you safe, he had once shared.

You were walking around the woods while catching up. You have been walking for hours and it was getting dark, with only the moonlight to shine up the place. You didn’t go too deep in the forest as you didn’t want to dirty your new red summer dress which you wore for the day, so you were being careful of which path you were walking.

As you were on your way back, Bryce was telling you about something he had learned through documentaries, specifically those about the ishkanani indians he had borrowed from Finn, his new neighbor.

You were grossed out to learn of how the tribe lived and how different their morals were, but you weren’t surprised as you had heard some tribes were very ancient in their thinking, - almost having the same mindset of cavemen.

“What do you find so interesting about those documentaries anyway? I didn’t peg you as a guy interested in that kind of stuff.” You pointed out.

“I wasn’t. But you know me. I always find new things to peak my interest.” He said with a grin. “Their thinking intrigues me greatly. It makes me think of how we might have developed backwards when I learn how they work as people.”

You rolled your eyes, finding his claim to be ridiculous after everything he had told about this particular tribe. “I wouldn’t say not murdering and raping out of spite is moving backwards, Bryce.”

“Well, I would say that’s debatable.” He stated casually.

What?

“Excuse me? Debating if murder or rape is immoral isn’t even a question. It goes against people’s rights to live and the right over your own body. In what circumstance do you think that’s acceptable?” You asked, absolutely bewildered.

“Well for one, it’s nature. Animals do it all the time.” He argued.

You huffed. What a convincing argument, you thought sarcastically. “Yeah, but we’re not animals, are we? We have something called morals. Animals don’t even have the brains to wrap around such a concept. Some animals eat their own kids because they can, - or they need to for survival or whatever.”

“But we were animals at one point, no? We eat, we hunt, we fuck, we reproduce. Why is it that we draw the line for the two other? I’m not saying it’s acceptable, but…it’s still a primal urge.”

You looked at him with furrowed eyebrows of concern and decided to walk past his agonizingly slow pace. You wanted to get back to the mansion.

“You’re making me feel very uncomfortable, Bryce. Why do you always feel the need to bring up weird discussions, only this time it’s wether or not rape or murder is exceptional? It’s like for each year I spend my summer here, you disturb me with your train of thought. I don’t feel safe with you anymore.”

“Oh Y/N, come on. Look, I’m sorry.” He said with little sincerity. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I’m just fascinated by it! Questioning morals isn’t illegal last time I checked.” He said sarcastically in a humored manner.

You ignored him as you continued walking the long path back out of the forest and to the mansion.

Though anyone should be feeling threatened by this kind of thought process, you weren’t afraid of Bryce. You were only disappointed and felt a sense of betrayal.

How could someone think like this? Where was this all coming from?

Then again, you weren’t too surprised. The closest you could recall to Bryce being somewhat of a psycho was when he at 6 years old admitted to you who was 4 that he had captured and killed a bird by continuously knocking it down with a stone.

It was inevitable for him to have some psychopathic traits when he at such a young age lacked empathy for killing an animal. Still, you stuck around of being his friend because…

Well, you were still figuring that part out. He was otherwise funny, charming, and his flirting made you feel things you haven’t felt for any other guy before. Did all that make up for his questionable mindset?

You weren’t sure.

“I mean think about it; In some tribes, they follow instincts that hasn’t been developed since many thousand years ago. They are a perfect example of how before we even had the concept of a society, we had a hunger to follow. An urge that we all deep down have in us but have learned to suppress because we grew too soft, - we’re scared to put people in their places by letting that natural hunger loose.” Bryce continued with his ramble, not noticing your distraught state as he followed you.

“Bryce, I don’t want to listen to this, -!”

“You can’t tell me you’ve never had intrusive thoughts. It’s not something we get from out of nowhere, it’s so obvious they’re from our instincts, - Instincts to assert dominance, or gain respect -!”

“Bryce!” You cut him off with frustration and turned around to see his face of awe. “You’re a grown man who since birth developed strengthened muscles, - muscles of which I have to train for to get because of my biology. You have the power to kill me with your bare hands. I don’t, unless you’re in a weakened state. Do you know how unfair and horrific it would be for me, a biological female, to be living in a society which lets biological men commit such things? We have no upper hand. We never have. Do you really think that’s fair? Would you be okay if a man sexually assaulted me because he had by your own words, ‘natural urges to follow’?”

Bryce was stunned, but not too much as he clearly was finding himself being rather ignorant for not taking it to account.

“You’re right. I apologize, I never meant to say you or any women deserves that-!”

“It’s not much about what I said either. Rape is rape and murder is murder, - and it is wrong regardless of gender, but I don’t see how you thought discussing this with me was any good idea. It’s threatening. I already have to be cautious while walking in empty streets alone. Don’t make me feel unsafe with you around too when we are in the woods, late at night.” You said without looking at him anymore.

“I didn’t…- I didn’t think of that. I’m so sorry, okay?” You weren’t halting your steps and Bryce decided to jog up to you when you were a distance ahead and have you stop so he could talk with honesty. “Y/N, listen. — I would literally fucking kill anyone who did that to you if that happened, Y/N. I swear to god I would. I would kill myself before I ever thought of doing these things to you. You need to believe me when I say that, Y/N.”

You didn’t really know what to say as you took in his words, so Bryce continued. “I’m sorry I even, -…I don’t know why, I’ve just been so absorbed with those documentaries Finn showed me. It got me thinking about stuff…” he said.

He was self aware of his stumbling of words but he couldn’t find the right ways of explaining it.

Bryce was aware he was different. He clearly had a mindset that no one seemed to understand nor have the patience to learn about. The amount of strange looks he would get when telling a statement made him feel annoyed, - sometimes even superior.

He considers himself to be an intellectual, one to think out of the box, - but he knew he went too far with this one. He knew he had once again been too absorbed for his own good.

You sighed, and looked down at your feet. Bryce remained silent while awaiting for your reply, hoping you would say something.

While rising your head up to look at him again, you said, “I know you too well to know you aren’t convinced you’re wrong unless it’s tested. -

- So let’s test it.”

Bryce’s eyebrows furrowed but he let you take his hands in yours and guide them around your neck.“Tighten your grip around my neck, Bryce.” You ordered. His eyes widened, not sure of where this was going. He only squeezed lightly, but it was enough to hold his hands there. His breath turned shallow, and you could see fire behind his eyes, though you couldn’t read him properly.

“Now listen to your ‘primal thoughts’, - whatever you call them. What are they telling you right now?”

Bryce gulped and his low breathing became uneven. He was at loss of words, not sure of where you wanted this to head at.

“Do you want to kill me?” You asked sternly, straight to the point.

You let go of his hands and let Bryce have his grip on your neck remain. You were calm internally, but your body didn’t align to that composure. You were shivering, both from the late night cold and the current crucial moment that would determine Bryce’s sanity. You both shared a dead serious look as you awaited for Bryce’s next move.

He stared at you up and down, from your eyes to where he held you. It made him realize how small your neck was as he held you there with his huge hands. He really had much power than he realized he had, and he felt guilty. Guilty that if he squeezed tighter and held your body up with your feet off the ground, you wouldn’t be able to do anything other than accept your fate to die, - unless you were a black belt in karate or something. Maybe then you would have a chance to get off his grip, but that would still require years of training, —

— The point was; You were right. It was unfair. He could for once admit he was a fool for thinking the world would be better if it was allowed, - If acting like savages would strengthen humanity and himself.

He let go, fixed up your collar of your dress where he had gripped at and stroked both of your shoulders carefully, with a cheeky smile growing on his face.

“No…I don’t want to kill you. Like I said, I would never do that to you,….only thing I’ve learned from this is I would most definitely kill for you, bambi.”

Your eyebrow narrowed, “Is that so?” You asked slyly. You couldn’t tell if he was serious or not, but that was just who Bryce was. He was a man with a dissimilar mind, -a mind no one could understand but you were learning and wanted to learn more.

Because as it turned out, you loved him no matter how unhinged or deranged he was. You had taken it upon yourself to be his guardian, one to guide him. You had done a fairly good job so far. Why stop here?

You smiled, and placed both of your hands on his cheeks, moving him down to your level. You placed a kiss on his cheek, to which made him wrap his arms around you appreciatively. You continued to kiss his other cheek and lastly his nose before you pulled your face away to study his face. Your eyes fell down to his broad chest, stroking him there a few times to feel him a little.

He caught onto your interest in his body, and he chuckled, “My urges are telling me something else right now though.”

“And what’s that, Bryce?” You asked innocently.

His cheeky look turned darker, and your breath hitched in your throat as you witnessed Bryce’s mind turning wicked before you.

“…I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you real bad.”

Your mouth was left open out of surprise and with an added new-coming arousal. You decided to palm his crotch while biting your lip, his groan of surprise was like music to your ears.

“You do, huh? You wanna stick your cock and go deep inside of me?” You asked seductively.

“Fuck yes, I do.” Bryce replied through a husky whisper. As he was going to grope your ass, you removed yourself from him, leaving him hard.

“That’s too bad, Bryce. Because I don’t want to.” You said, and took a few steps back. “But, I won’t have a choice if you follow your urges either way, will I?” You asked with a teasing wink.

Bryce was left confused as you ran off and took a narrow right to a side path which lead deeper into the forest.

Where were you going? He questioned first. Then, as he processed your words, it clicked.

You were playing a game. A very dangerous game.

His face darkened, and he licked his lips while he saw the last of your shadow scouring through the dark woods. “Oh, you don’t know what you have gotten yourself into, bambi.” He said, more to himself as he began to walk.

His walking quickly turned into jogging, - to straight up sprinting. Before he knew it, he was running down the narrow path, dodging overgrown branches as he scanned for the bright red colour of your dress in the dark forest.

“Come out, little red riding hood.” He called out, almost singing it with a tune. “The big bad wolf just wants to talk.”

He heard a light giggle in the area, and he knew you you were close. Very close.

“You’re so fucked once I find you…” Bryce said out of amusement.

He didn’t continue the path as he knew he would have caught up to you by now. You were hiding here.

Somewhere.

Bryce has never been so aroused in his life. He knew for a long time you were perfect for him. But this? The chase, the awaiting climax of finally catching you was turning him feral, - he hopes you are prepared for his wrath.

“You better come out now and tell me to stop because when I find you, I’m going to hold you down and abuse your cunt with my fat dick, you hear me?” He shouted as he walked through the crowded trees and bushes.

He heard a strained squeal from you straight ahead, which was when he saw the red fabric of your dress sticking out behind a tree.

Game over.

You held your breath as you heard the rustling noises of leaves getting crunched was approaching closer. The adrenaline rush made your ears be filled with the sound of your heart beat so loud.

It went quiet for a few moments, and you thought you had maybe gotten away with being caught.

You were proven wrong when you looked to the side, and saw Bryce was standing right above you. He let out the breath he had held and pounced on you before you could make a move.

“Gotcha..” he muttered as he held you down with his body on top of yours, your stomach meeting the ground as his legs trapped down yours.

“No Bryce, please don’t fuck me! I don’t wanna!” You whined playfully. You tried to wrestle him off, with little efforts.

It was obvious you were playing an act as he could see your smile through the darkness.

“Fucking whore. Pretending like I’m forcing myself on you. I bet you’re getting off from this, aren’t you?” He said, while tearing off your stockings. “I sure do.”

He hoisted your dress up and carelessly dragged down your underwear down, satisfied when he saw glistening wetness on your cunt. He wet his lips with the use of his tongue and shoved a finger inside of your pussy, trying to gather as much of your juice on his fingers as possible.

You mewled and whimpered from the lack of gentleness, but you didn’t mind. If anything, you were growing lustful from his manhandling.

Maybe it was fucked up to be enjoying this, but you couldn’t help yourself. You trusted him. He knew you did, and he trusted you in return, which you believed mattered the most for this to work. You wanted him to take you the way he wanted to.

“You’re dripping, bambi…you’re a bigger slut than I thought you are. I always thought you were a prude, but it’s true what they say, isn’t it? The ones who deny liking sex are usually the kinkiest.”

You moaned in response, your vocabulary leaving your mind as you took in the feeling of Bryce’s intrusive, thick fingers working inside of you.

“I don’t think I need to prep you more, baby. You’re wet enough as it is, and you like it rough anyway, don’t you?” He asked, not expecting an answer as he removed his fingers off your cunt and sucked off your juices with his mouth.

His other hand was still forcing your back to remain on the ground as he unzipped and took out his cock from his pants and boxers. You peeked by turning your head behind slightly to see him, - his cock being fully erect and throbbing with precum forming in pearls on his tip.

He held around your stomach and got your ass to rise up so he could finally insert himself on his waist level.

“Aaah fuuuck,” Bryce groaned while he forced himself without warning inside your throbbing heat. “What a tight fuckhole…so delicious.”

You cried out, feeling the painful invasion but you couldn’t help but thrive with it. He was so big, bigger than you have ever let inside of you. You were a virgin all over again with his size.

He didn’t wait a second to plunge his cock inside of you, already going at a fast pace as he breathed heavily from the sensation. It was almost desperate, - imitating a feral animal finally catching its mate to fulfill the purpose of breeding before the mate pulled an escape attempt.

“You’re my breeding bitch now, bambi. Going to fill up that pussy with my cum and watch it leak out of you.” He stated through occasionally nibbling on your ear.

Dizziness took over you as Bryce just took what he wanted of your body. You were overwhelmed with pleasure and need of a release.

“Oh, my goodness-!” You choked out a moan as you felt Bryce’s one hand work on your clit.

“Oh my goodness, indeed.” Bryce taunted, while continuing his abuse on your clit with harsh strokes of his index finger. “You should be thankful I put extra effort in pleasuring you. I’m only doing it because you’re special to me…”

The built up pressure of his cock pounding inside of you and his hand working on your clit was making you close to your climax, and you could tell he was getting close too by his grunts.

“Do you feel me in your tummy, bambi? You feel how fuckin’ deep I am inside of you?”

Your arms were giving up on holding up your upper body, and your chin soon met the fresh grass to rest your head on as Bryce did the work for the both of you. “Fuuuck yess, I feel you, Bryce! Oooh, please don’t stop!”

A few more harsh thrusts, and you both were getting washed over with a wave of your climaxes.

“M’going to fucking cum. Aaaah, take my fucking load,…shit!” Bryce moaned through a gasp as he released deep inside of you.

“M’cumming too, Bryce! Ooohh, fuck!” You moaned, feeling his cum warm your body and drip out with your release combined. You tightened around him, and it made him feel everything. He wanted to feel it for a few more moments.

“Stay still. Keep me nice and warm for a little more. I want to savor this feeling…”

You hummed, appreciating the warmth of Bryce’s body on top of you in contrast to the ground your stomach laid on.

He soon after pulled out and removed his weight off you, his tip leaking with your combined juices while making you turn around so he can see what he has longed to view.

He saw with each breath you let out, more cum leaked out of your sore pussy. “That’s a pretty sight there.” Bryce rasped, the image hypnotizing him.

After you were brought back to reality. “Shit, my new dress is all dirty…” you complained while standing up with the help of Bryce, brushing off as much as you could get off.

“That’s what happens when we fuck on literal dirt, bambi. I’ll bring a blanket from now on, knowing this is how a walk in the woods can get us.” He said with a chuckle, putting his cock back in the briefs of his boxers and zipped up his pants.

After putting your panties on and removed your ruined stocking, you walked back to the main path silently and carried on your way to the mansion with your hands folded together.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked out of curiosity.

You giggled and looked anywhere but at Bryce out of shyness. “I just can’t believe we did that.”

He frowned, not sure of what you were insinuating. “Do you regret it?”

You shook your head, dismissing his assuming question. “No. Not at all. You should be very thankful I’m on birth control though. You will have to use a condom if there will be a next time.”

He scoffed, “A condom? Now that’s just cruel. Thought we would keep it primal and continue fucking raw.” He said while flickering his lighter. You hadn’t picked up on him getting a cigar out of his pocket, but you digressed. “And what do you mean by ‘if’? You sealed your fate of being wrapped around my finger the moment I caught you behind that tree, bambi. You’re mine to keep, cuddle and fuck.”

You rolled your eyes at his crude way of saying ‘you’re mine’. “Is it too much of you to ask if I could be your girlfriend?”

He laughed as he lit up his cigar and breathed in the toxic and addicting smoke. Once he breathed it out of his nose, he held out an arm to wrap around you close, which made you pay attention to his face as he grinned at you.

“Okay, let me ask you out properly in my way; would you do the honors of being the chief’s mate of the Osbourne tribe?”

You laughed with a nod, slipping in a response of, “Sure.”

“Then let’s settle it with our very own ritual…” he held the cigar between your space and instructed the following, “Breathe it in when I breathe it out, okay?”

He inhaled the smoke once he placed the cigar between his lips, and leaned in to kiss you with an open mouth and he breathed out the smoke into your mouth.

You reluctantly breathed it in with shut eyes as the smoke was stronger than you were prepared for, but you had enough self control to take it.

Once he detached his lips from yours, you breathed it out and had to ruin the moment by letting out a few coughs. Your throat was dry, and though you were embarrassed of how less smooth the moment carried out, Bryce’s lighthearted laughter only made it humorous.

“There you go,…you did well. Welcome to my tribe, bambi.”

Note from author: For the people who haven’t watched ‘fierce people’, — Wait till you realize this isn’t really a ‘dark version’ of Bryce but just him. 💀

Hearts & Reblogs are very appreciated! <3

#bryce langley #bryce langley x reader #bryce langley x y/n #bryce langley x you #cevans characters #chris evans #chris evans character fanfiction #chris evans x reader

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youn9racha · 2 years

Text

The Black Dress

TW// FLASHING/FLICKERING LIGHTS

pairing: bf!han x gf!afab reader

genre: smut

synopsis: your boyfriend's birthday was coming up, and you, typically buying him gifts, lost track of time and forgot to get something. so you had to conjure up something to compensate, and you know just the thing...

warning: rushed smut rip, lowkey pwp, mentions of cumslut, breeding kink/cum play if only you squint, piv, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), implied dumbification and corruption kink, ruined make-up (i think that's corruption as well but it deserves it separate warning), lingerie kink (?), dom!han, sub!reader, mentions of self-conscious reader (no body type mentioned though), degradation, slight spanking, mentions of multiple of orgasm, basically hannie doesn't hold back, open-ended aftercare.

words: 3.3k

a/n: so this is my contribution for hannie's birthday... happy birthday han !!! i made this fic in under four hours so this isn't my best, but its something 😞🙏 well regardless, hope my birthday boy has a wonderful birthday

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.

You were screwed.

You were convinced that you were the worst girlfriend in this entire world. Your ever so lovely, adorable, funny, god’s greatest gift of a boyfriend, Jisung’s, birthday was in a few days, and you haven’t had anything prepared. You cussed yourself out when you looked at the date, taunting you and reminding you how close his birthday is, and you haven’t thought of anything to give to him on his birthday. While Jisung wasn’t necessarily the materialistic kind, you still felt bad as he almost always gives you a birthday present on your birthday, and you would do the same.

When you get him a gift, he almost gives you the humblest response;

“Oh, baby, you shouldn’t have!”

“You really didn’t have to get me anything…”

“What would I do without you?”

Now the chances of you hearing these sweet words were slim and you can’t help but grimace at the fact that you probably won’t get him anything. Until you had this odd idea that you thought had been buried deep in your brain to no return, but it resurfaced once again.

Yes, you and Jisung have sex, as most sexually active couples would do, but often your sex was within the borders of vanilla and quickies. The most extreme you two had done was having sex at the bathroom—in Jisung’s bathroom at the dorms, where his roommates Chan, Hyunjin, and/or Changbin could walk in, but even then, none of them were home at that time. There wasn’t anything wrong, of course, having Jisung’s cock inside was enough for you to enjoy your time with him. However, he has been holding himself back and seemed like he wanted to do more with you but was too afraid that he’d either hurt you or scare you—which you think is a little bit too late, considering that he’d have to do something way too extreme for you to be scared or weirded out. Nevertheless, you thought just the thing that could compensate for your lack of a physical gift within a short time.

---

September 14

It was finally that day, the day your favorite human being was born twenty-two years ago, and you couldn’t wait for the gift you were about to give him. Rather than an actual gift, you decided to make him a nice dinner, along with a small cake customized for him for you two to share and eat. Despite his loud and energetic presence, he never liked big loud parties and he expressed so many times that he could celebrate in only two ways; either with you and his members or just with you—no more than that. And it seems that he wanted to celebrate with the second option since he informed you that he and the members will celebrate it a day late, so he and Felix could celebrate their respective birthdays together and instead will celebrate his main birthday with you, which thankfully made your plans much easier.

He was still at work meanwhile you prepared your dinner. You decided to wear the prettiest black dress you own, the one that Jisung often tells you how gorgeous you look in. Although you don’t wear it very often, it has become Jisung’s favorite since he constantly asks you to wear it and thought it suits your body so well. You thought it was just the sheer excitement and horniness he has when he expressed what he said, but when you looked at yourself in that dress and the way it hugged your body beautifully, you understood why he constantly asks for you to wear it.

Doubled by the fact that you were wearing lingerie that honestly did nothing to conceal but more to tease. Through the slit of the dress, your garter was shown, but you didn’t mind, as you knew it may drive him even more crazy. You did your hair and make-up—you purposely wore non-waterproof mascara and non-smudge proof lipstick for the occasion—and you thought if Jisung wouldn’t fuck you as soon he gets into the door, which you doubt, then he’d be a fool for missing out.

You were busy admiring yourself that you nearly ignored your vibrating phone had it not for the rumbling noise annoying your eardrum. You picked it up and you saw it was Jisung’s text.

Jisung: Hey babe !! I just got done with practice with the boys and I’m on my way !!

Jisung: Can’t wait for what you had for me when I walk in ;)

While you knew he was just playing and teasing in the last message, you couldn’t help but feel like your stomach dropped due to your nervousness. You didn’t want to self-doubt yourself; you knew Jisung wouldn’t be mad at you for not getting him a physical gift, but you can’t help but have guilt pile up in your stomach. You shook your head and reassured yourself that everything will be fine and that if he didn’t want this, then you’ll promise him a shopping spree and he can spend all your money on whatever items he wants.

You sighed as you went and prepared your dinner. You cooked up his favorite meal and brought him his favorite drink as well. The cake sat in the fridge as it cooled down, it wasn’t the most elaborate nor the fanciest cake, but it was certainly a pretty birthday cake that has his favorite flavor. You already placed the “22” candle on the cake so when he eats, you’ll light it up and give him the cake before you proceed with the plan.

As you finally finished with the dinner set and lighting up the candle, you heard the door lock being opened and the door creaked as the figure entered the house.

“Hey, babe! I’m home—” Jisung’s voice cut off as he sees the romantically dimly lit room, the fancy dinner set, and then you, you in full beauty and glory. His mouth was opened wide, letting out quick gasps and a smile as he was surprised by the atmosphere. You smiled as he got closer to you, “Happy birthday, Ji…” you kissed his cheek, letting him inhale your natural scent mixed with perfume through your neck.

His eyes went back to you with a flabbergasted smile, “you did all this?”

You nodded back and hummed an affirmative sound, enjoying his excited reaction at the dinner set and looking at the deliciously presented food before his eyes went back to you. He looked like he was about to say something, but he then looked back at the dress you were wearing. His eyes began their trail from your exposed collarbone down to the slit of the dress, which exposed your black garter, making him blush and giggle.

“You’re wearing the dress…” He said, smirking at the sight as he turned his body to you, his arms wrap around your body, and pulling you closer. You only smiled back with a shrug, silently telling, or rather teasing him, that it was just a dress. He pulled you in for a kiss as his hands went lower down your back, it was slow yet passionate, which made you instantly pull away so you wouldn’t smudge your lipstick and not escalate your plan sooner.

“No, Ji, we have to eat first,” you giggled at how handsy he is getting and how your red lipstick stained his lips. He pouted, “C’mon, baby, I’m so tired, and I just want to get to be with you—“ he faked crying and plead as he attempted to get his hand on the garter but you slapped his hand away.

“I know, Ji, I know but I cooked your favorite meal and I want you to have a taste before it gets too cold…”

“Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about, when my favorite meal is standing right in front of me is always hot—Ow!” His flirting words got replaced by an exaggerated exclaim from your lightly punching him in the chest and pushing him in the process. You chuckled and ordered him to sit and eat, which he did so while looking at you affectionately. You sat right across him, observing him and eating him up with your eyes rather than the food in front of you.

You observe how beautiful he is even whilst eating his food, how his full cheeks take in the food, his muscular arm slight flex when used to cut the food, the way his hand wrapped around the drink when he goes in for a sip, you were looking at him as if he was the most beautiful man in the world, and he is in your world. He noticed your gaze, which made him smile at you, “what?”

You scrunched your nose in a smile as you shook your head, “oh nothing… just at how pretty you are.” His brows narrow as he smiles nervously, “what do you have in plan, Ms. (l/n)?” he asked as he saw you standing with a smirk on.

“Oh, nothing too big, just wanting to give my boyfriend the best birthday gift of his life…” You leaned in and pecked him on the cheek, giving him a kiss mark, “don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back.”

And off you went to the kitchen and left Jisung alone with his thoughts. His food was nearly neglected when you left as you left him a mark—literally, but he still doesn’t know that—especially in that damn dress that he admires you in. He remembered the day you bought it; you were self-conscious about the way you looked in it since it was a dress out of your comfort zone, you sighed as you called Jisung for his opinion. When he walked in and sees you in that black fabric, he nearly dropped his phone on his phone as he sees you. You looked beautiful in that dress, and when he sees how you were holding into your arm as if to indicate your uncertainty, he wished he could push away your arms and show you how pretty you looked.

But he didn’t want to push you, so he resorted to kissing you, praising you, and asking about it every time you go out, and thankfully, both of you were glad you ended up keeping it, especially from your side. As Jisung was spaced out, he didn’t realize that you came out of the kitchen until you began singing to him happy birthday, which made him shake his head as he looked at you with surprised wide eyes. Instead of the dress, you showed up with the cake in hand, and in you came with a robe—yes, you hid a robe and the dress somewhere in the kitchen so you could dress up quickly. Once you got closer and about to close off the song, you sat on Jisung’s lap and placed the candlelit cake between the two of you.

You smiled at him sweetly, “make a wish, Hannie…”

It was difficult to close his eyes when your beauty was emanating into the room even brighter than the candle lights. When he sees you raising your brows in encouragement, he closed his eyes and quickly blew the candles letting the smoke disperse into the air in an instant. You cheered as you placed the cake on the table and wrapped your arms around his neck as your gaze met his. Both of you mirrored the lustful yet loving gaze towards each other, but you still didn’t want to feed in yet.

“Do you wanna unwrap your gift or—”

“Yes, please!” Jisung spoke, interrupting your question without hesitation making you laugh at his eagerness, “birthday boy couldn’t for his gift, I see?” you giggled as you ruffled his hair before standing up. The bow you tied in your robe was within his eye level, making him look up to you to wait for your next move.

“Unwrap your present birthday boy.” Your tone was much sultry than your previous maternal voice, making Jisung’s eyes both darkened and gleam in excitement. His hands reached to your bow and his fingers pulled it off, letting the strands fall against your body, as the robe slowly and teasingly revealed your surprise. He looked up at you, and you nodded, encouraging him to proceed with unwrapping you, his gift. When he pushed off the robe there you exposed the lingerie your dress hid perfectly—aside from your garter. It was sheer material, meaning Jisung could see all the parts he had seen previously, but this time in a way he never would have thought of seeing you in real life, and boy, was he glad that his fantasies were becoming a reality.

“Well, birthday boy, are you gonna sit here and observe your present, or are you gonna do something with it and use me?”

---

You were glad that you screwed up and forgot to get him something tangible.

The regret, guilt, and insecurity in your face and head disappeared as soon as Jisung carried you into your room, with his lips attached to you. During the make-out, he caught a glimpse of his kiss-marked face from the reflection of the mirror, smirking as he notices why you wore the makeup in the first place. He pulled away from you as he lays you down, and him getting on top of you.

“So, I see you wanted to mark me, huh?” His voice was raspy from his yearning to just take you and ruin you on the spot. Before you could speak, he dragged his thumb across your bottom lips, staining and smudging your lips, the red pigment reached to your chin thanks to his thumb gathering and spreading it across your skin. You’ve accelerated his desire to destroy even more, even shown when he practically ripped your lingerie off but left the garter on you, as he wanted to see you in it as he rams himself in you, and it was a promise he was sure he wasn’t going to break.

And he kept with that promise, as of right now, he placed you on your hands and knees facing the mirror that reflected Jisung’s feral imagination coming to life, with your makeup-stained face thanks to Jisung’s previous sessions that made you cry out in pleasure and ruin your makeup and way of speech.

“You can handle another one, baby, I bet you can…” The way he spoke to you was straight filth, but you mewled at it as you anticipated his cock filling up your walls once again, almost as if your pussy has become more reliant on it the more he inserts it, and the more you came around him. “My sweet cumslut,” he whispered as he slaps your ass, making you yelp out a squeal at the smack.

He snickers at your cute reaction as he began thumbing your swollen clit while aligning his cock against your soaking wet hole, making you throw your head into the mattress as you whine against the sheets. Jisung gripped your hair firmly and made your head face the mirror, showing off your ruined face. He leaned into your ears, making eye contact with you through the mirror, “you better take a look at yourself as I fuck your little pussy… got it?” His voice was low and threatening, especially doubled with the sharp gaze he was giving you through the mirror.

When you couldn’t answer back instantly, he pulled your hair once again, but this time he harshly shoves his cock in you, making you yelp at the sudden action. “I said, look at yourself,” he gritted his teeth as this time he looked at you in the face, trying to see if you opened your eyes. When you did open your eyes and looked at the mirror, if you were in your normal state of mind, you would have thought that you looked like a hot mess. But since your brain was fucked to the point it shut down, all you could focus is worshipping Jisung and his cock.

Jisung let go of your hair and leaned back, slapping your ass once again as he observes the way your pussy was swallowing his cock so well. He smirked before looking back at you, making you look up at him with pleading eyes, hoping he can move in the next second.

“Fuck yourself against me.”

His tone was as sharp as a knife, and you felt it graze against your skin as you felt goosebumps going across your body. “Okay, Hannie,” you spoke in a soft tone as you did what was told. You leaned yourself back and forth, making you whine at the way you pushed your hips against his. It may be because you were weak or maybe because you enjoyed the way Jisung’s moved against yours, but you wanted Jisung to fuck you as hard as he did before.

But there he was, static, as he looks at you menacingly with a smirk, seeing you suffering underneath him. All that whining, moaning, and pouting, as well as pushing yourself even further in the hopes of him moving against you, but he stayed still.

At this point you started to cry, “Hannie… please fuck me… please fill me up once again… you do it so much better…” your pleads within your sobs were pathetic, to say the least, but it nearly broke Jisung and he almost caved in.

“Are you telling the birthday boy what to do?” he taunted with an evil smirk while you shook your head with a sob, black tears started to fall once again from your mascara down your cheeks. “No! No! You’re in full control! I am yours and yours only and only you could fuck me so good!”

Your cries were even more pitiful than the last one, but it seemed to work this time as Jisung gripped your hips, and then he started to gain control over your hips once again. The way your skin slapped against his thanks to the way he rapidly rammed his cock into yours, making the two of you moan at the feeling.

The combination of the wet sounds along with your and his blissed voices could make a neighbor complain about how loud it is, but it was the last thing you two cared about, too consumed from the amazing feeling you two are experiencing, especially with how you felt your peak was approaching from the way your stomach was heating up.

“Hannie… I’m so close—fuck!” you managed to moan out, strings of cusses and whines escaping your lips. With the way his hips started give out slightly, it seems as though he wasn’t far either. “I’m close too, baby… come with me…”

As he spoke, his words broke into high pitched moans, as after a few thrusts, he began painting your walls white with his cum, filling you up to the brim with its white warm contents. Not long after, you too reached your orgasm, making you drop your head and top body to the mattress, panting for air, while Jisung pulled away and laid next to you. After a few minutes of grasping for air, Jisung turns his head to you, places his hand behind your head and massages it.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” He softly asked, concern was also laced in the question. You turned your head to him and gave him a dopey smile, “yeah, I feel amazing… what about you?”

He giggled at your reaction, “oh, I feel great,” he responded back, matching your energy, making you laugh. You two then spent in silence, lovingly staring each other, enjoying the silence as you flipped yourself in your back before leaning in to kiss Jisung’s lips.

While the passion and fire were present, it was more chaste and romantic than the previous kisses you two had.

“Happy Birthday, Hannie.” You spoke through the kiss with a smile, adoration present in both the eyes and lips.

Jisung smiled back loving, “Thank you, baby… this was the best birthday present I’ve ever received…”

“Yeah, it better be!” you exclaim, half-jokingly, making the two of you laugh.

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1need2bthin · 4 months

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Update:

I feel like such failure, like I feel like so embarrassed to even say I have an eating disorder. I shouldn’t even be saying I have one because it feels like I don’t have the right to say I do with how my eating habits have been like lately. I was doing so good, I had was 8 pounds away from my goal weight of 85 pounds but I fucked it up by going in a restrictive-binge cycle. It’s so hard to stop it when I’m in that cycle, my brain gets so foggy and all I can think about is sweets and fatty foods, nothing else. My brain tries to convince me that it’ll be okay because I can just fast/restrict the next 2-3 days and this will be the last time i binge. To just eat everything my heart desires so I don’t crave sugar/fatty foods anymore. That this will help me avoid having another binge episode in the future, even though I know deep down in the moment that it’s all just a lie and that I’ll end up having another one again in a few days. I feel horrible while I’m binging but it’s not enough for me to stop, I’m eating even when my stomach feels like it’s going to explode and when I’m feeling physically sick. My head starts hurting, I feel dizzy, i start having stomach issues, and my body temperature goes up, It feels like 1000 degrees. I need to get rid of sugar again, I’m not the type of person that can just have one cookie. If I buy a pack of chocolates, I either have no chocolates or I have the entire pack. There is no middle ground for me, I can’t have it in moderation. Sweets is what triggers my binge episodes, I can have fatty foods in moderation but not sweet foods.

I need your guys help, does anyone know how I can slowly start cutting down on sugary foods without triggering another binge episode? And how can I get out of a binge-restrictive cycle?

Also does anyone have any recommendations for a 300, 500 meal plan?

#ana bllog #ed disorder #anarecja #@na tips #safefoods #mealsp0 #low cal diet

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myveryownfanfiction · 5 months

Text

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

chapter 27

tags: @illiana-mystery, @cassieuncaged, @eroticaplush, @onedirectionlovers2014

warnings: swearing

the next morning, I woke up laying on dans chest. He had his arms wrapped tightly around me, face pressed against the top of my head. I breathed out slowly and started to come to terms with the fact that the night before had not been a dream.

“trying to convince yourself that this is reality?” Dan asked softly. I smiled to myself, pressing a kiss to his heart.

“Maybe.” I responded. Dan chuckled and kissed my head. “It just doesn’t seem real. Like I know it is. I can feel the ring on my finger. See it. I’m laying on you again.” Dan laughed and I smiled as I buried my head in his neck. “We had sex last night. I know it’s real. But my brain just can’t fully comprehend this.”

“I know.” Dan whispered. “I didn’t think…” he broke off with a sigh. “I’m sorry I jumped to it. I’m sorry I left. I wanted so much better for you and i just…I ruined it.” I sat up and looked down at Dan.

“you didn’t ruin it. Never say that.” I shook my head. “It’s perfectly us and you know it.” Dan stared back at me. “You thinking of my best interests. Giving me the choice of choosing you or the life I had in New York. Leaving me the ring.” Dan chuckled and grabbed my hand, rubbing the band of the engagement ring. “Getting me out of jail and then technically breaking your friend out just so we could legally get married. Getting married the minute we’re reunited! Dan, that’s us. We’ve never been any good at confrontation of our problems or waiting for something. And we always think of each other before we jump into something. You didn’t ruin anything. If anything, you made it better.” Dan blushed before bringing my hand up to his lips and kissing my knuckles.

“thank you.” He whispered, breath fanning over my hand. I smiled at him and leaned down to kiss him. Pulling away, Dan cupped my cheek. “I do believe I promised you a ring.” I moved to let him get up and watched as he started to get dressed. Dan was just putting on his belt when he turned to me. “What?”

“nothing. Just watching my husband getting ready.” Dan blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Feels nice to call you that.” Dan smiled and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head.

“I bet.” He muttered. I laughed and walked over to where Dan was standing.

“you alright?” I asked softly, wrapping my arms around his neck. Dan hesitated but put his hands on my waist.

“yeah. Just…been a while. Different emotions and all that.” Dan told me, waving his hand. I nodded.

“I shouldn’t have said it…” Dan kissed me.

“you should. And I want you to.” He assured me. “I might stop for a moment but I do want you to call me your husband. I want to be your husband. I just need to get used to it again.” I nodded slowly. “I’m serious (Y/N). I am your husband. And I love hearing you say that. Just give me time to get used to it again.”

“alright.” I leaned up to kiss him before breaking away to get dressed. Dan went to get us something to eat and I checked my phone. I sat on the bed and opened my messaging app, hovering over my parents number.

“everything ok?” Dan asked, making me start and turn to look at him. I nodded.

“yeah. I’m just trying to decide how to tell my parents we essentially eloped.” I said. Dan nodded and sat down next to me. “It’s not that I’m scared to tell them I just…” Dan kissed my head and pulled me to him.

“you’re nervous.” He finished. Dan rubbed my arm and leaned his cheek against my head. “Call them. We’ll do this together. I’ll explain my side of it and all you have to do is explain why you said yes.”

“that’s easy.” I laughed as I leaned into him. “Because I love you.” Dan smiled as he gently took the phone from me.

“and I love you.” He whispered back as he called my parents and put it on speaker. “It’ll be alright.” I nodded as my parents picked up.

“hello?”

“Hi mom!” I chirped as Dan squeezed my shoulder. “Dad there too?” I chewed on my bottom lip as I buried my head in dans shoulder.

“hold on.” My mom said and we heard shuffling around while she went to go find him. “He’s here.”

“hi!” I said. “Uh so Dan and I…he…uh…”

“what (Y/N) is trying to say is…” Dan took a deep breath. “We got married.” There was a long silence on the other end. “I can fully explain. I may have screwed things up by taking a job in New Orleans and I couldn’t ask (Y/N) to give up their life in New York for me so I just left. And I had already planned on proposing but it didn’t feel right or fair to them to do it before I left so I left them the ring.” Dan started to ramble. “And (Y/N) saw it and came to find me. When they did well…”

“he asked me properly and I said yes.” I jumped in. “We just…”

“It just…” Dan tried. We looked are each other and smiled.

“It just seemed right.” We both said. The silence continued on the other end and I checked to make sure the call was still active.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. Dan furrowed his eyebrows as he watched me. I shook my head at him and rolled my eyes.

“don’t be sorry for marrying the man you love.” My mom finally spoke up. “It’s just a lot to process at once.”

“you’re in New Orleans?” My dad asked. I laughed.

“yeah. Flew out yesterday with Abbie. Got arrested and ended up in dans court.” I explained. Dan chuckled.

“arrested?” My mom exclaimed. “For what?”

“that’s the part you’re surprised by?” Dan laughed. “They got out of a cab with the intent to walk to the courthouse. There was so much traffic that they got impatient. The driver wanted them to pay even though Abbie was going to complete the ride and pay. So (Y/N) got arrested. I dismissed the charges.” My dad laughed and I could hear my mom mumbling something in the background.

“of course you did.” My mom sighed. “There’s never a dull moment with you two.” I smiled at Dan.

“no there isn’t.” I agreed. “So you’re not mad we basically eloped?”

“mad? No! Of course not!” My mom said. “We just hoped we’d get to be there to see it.”

“There are worse ways to get married. And worse reasons.” My dad agreed. “At least you got married because you love each other.”

“that is very true.” Dan said, kissing my forehead.

“and Dan, there are very few people in the world who would get on a plane and fly from New York to New Orleans out just to be with the one they love.” My dad said. Dan blushed slightly.

“That I know.” Dan said. “Makes me incredibly happy to have married one of the people that would.”

“I’m sure there’s a lot to discuss after all that.” My mom said. “Well let you two go. Love you (Y/N). And Dan,” my mom paused. Dan made a noise and tensed up slightly. “Welcome to the family.” He breathed a sigh of relief and I smiled at him.

“bye!” We both said as we hung up.

“that wasn’t so bad.” Dan whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes as I leaned into his chest.

“no. But it still wasn’t fun.” I admitted. Dan kissed my head.

“now let’s go. Time to get rings.” Dan said. “If it’s alright with you, I’m going to take this off…” he reached for his old ring and I nodded as he replaced it around his neck. “I’m going to get a box for this.” He said. “It’s not fair to you that I keep wearing this and…” I kissed him.

“if you want to, keep it.” I said. “I’m not offended by it. I understand what it means to you. What she means to you. Dan, I could care less. My only request is you let me pick you out a ring.” Dan smiled softly at me and pulled me in for a kiss.

“God damn do I love you.” Dan breathed out as he tangled his fingers in my hair.

“I love you too.” I giggled as he kissed me again. “Dan. The rings.” Dan leaned his head against mine and closed his eyes.

“I know. I know.” He whispered. “I’m just enjoying this moment.” I brushed his hair off his face and brushed away a few stray tears. “I’m sorry.” Cupping his cheeks, I leaned up and kissed his nose.

“nothing to be sorry for.” I said softly. “It’s a lot.” Dan nodded. After a moment, he stood up and offered me his hand. Dan tucked my hand into his elbow and led me down into the street.

“stay close.” He whispered as he set off down the street. I gazed in awe at everything around me, so different from what I had seen last night. Dan gently tugged me along, occasionally smiling and shaking his head at me. With a small laugh Dan pulled me into a jewelry shop. “And that’s why I told you to stay close.” He teased as the door closed behind me.

“yeah. Yeah. Yeah.” I joked as I waved him off. Dan leaned down to kiss my cheek before leading me to the counter. “Remember I want simple. Plain. Nothing terribly fancy.” Dan nodded. He bent over the glass case and frowned. I bent down next to him and looked at the rings on display.

“I got my class ring here.” Dan whispered. “Looked exactly like that.” He pointed to a medium sized ring with a large purple stone. I smiled at him. “I wanted to have your engagement ring made here and shipped. But I saw the one you have…” Dan shrugged. “I had to get that one. It was perfect for you.” I squeezed his arm and looked at the case again.

“what do you think of this one?” I pointed to the plain band next to the class ring. “The little design on the side…isn’t that important to New Orleans?” Dan smiled at me.

“The fleur de lis?” He asked. “France but it would be a nice reminder of how we got married. I like it.” I smiled at Dan and went to grab the jeweler. Dan watched me as he got sized and the jeweler went off to get the size that was needed. I followed him and pulled him aside for a second.

“How much extra would it be to add an engraving?” I asked. The jeweler looked at me.

“depending on the engraving, about $50 a word.” He said. I nodded.

“can you put a shape? Like a heart?” The jeweler nodded. “Can you do a heart and his name?” The jeweler nodded again.

“what’s the name?” He asked.

“reinhold.” I said. The jeweler nodded and headed off to take care of the ring. I headed back over by Dan and smiled. “Find anything yet?” Dan nodded.

“but you’ll say no. Too fancy.” He gently bumped my shoulder with a smile. “How much extra is it going to cost?” I blushed, realizing he knew me too well.

“$100.” I admitted. Dan nodded.

“ok.” I smiled softly at him before turning back to the case. “Like I said you probably won’t like it but that the one.” Dan pointed to a ring with three small stones in it. I looked at it for a second before turning back to him. “What do you think?”

“is that the one you see me wearing?” I asked. Dan paused, eyes still trained on the ring. He finally turned towards me.

“yeah. I do. It’s the same feeling I had when I saw the engagement ring.” He admitted. I nodded.

“then get it.” Dan smiled at me and kissed me.

“alright.” He said. “How much for engravings?”

“$50 a word. Or shape.” I said. Dan nodded. He went off with the jeweler to get my ring done. Walking back over to me with the receipt, Dan smiled at me.

“a few more minutes.” He said before wrapping his arm around me. “We’re officially official now.” I nodded with a small laugh.

“yeah. We are.” I agreed. The jeweler came out and handed us our rings. I waited for Dan to look at his, holding onto my ring tightly so I didn’t drop it. Dan laughed and shook his head. “What?”

“look at yours.” He said, eyes shining. I looked at the engraving on my ring and started laughing.

“a heart and my name.” I smiled up at him. “Of course.” Dan held his hand out for my ring and I traded him. Taking a deep breath, we put the rings on each other.

“perfect.” He whispered before kissing me.

“absolutely perfect.” I agreed.

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