#i have no motivation to make myself eat something

[iamoutofideas]

being serious about exercise, I’ve never really hated the concept because I used to like playing outside & going on bushwalks, bike rides & surfing as a kid but I always vehemently hated the whole culture around it like “no pain, no gain” & “if you eat literally anything you will be so fat & die” + shows like the biggest loser on tv as well as my parents shoving rhetoric like that in my face just made me feel bad & made me think like, what are you guys, catholic?

then around the end of the 2010’s I seeing started people posting hard “no pain, no gain” type workout videos that tried to package a whole faux-positive motivational speech with it & the whole thing to me just read like a huge juxtaposition because the minute I stopped watching & looked up from my phone it was back to the same old shit so it’s genuinely hard for me to believe it anymore.

nowadays I like going for walks when there’s a nice afternoon but I feel like my body is fighting me whenever I try to do that, like I don’t just not have the mental energy but I also don’t have the physical energy either, couple that with the fact my town is built like you should be walking for hours on end or not at all & it’s a whole recipe for disaster, like I really would like to walk around & be more active but it’s something that requires both mental & physical alignment that very rarely comes together.

there was a moment when I was living in melbourne where walking felt easier because it didn’t just feel like exercise, it felt like transporting myself + my job being physically demanding meant I came out of bookings feeling like I had a good workout. I actually lost a bit of weight & felt good about that, but now I’m back here I’ve put on double what I had before & can’t fit into a bunch of my clothes & that makes shopping second hand even more difficult because the fatter you are the less, yknow… good things the op shops have will fit you, meaning it becomes more expensive to buy clothes or I don’t bother dressing how I want at all.

I don’t have any disrespect to those that did find comfort in working out & whatnot but to me it all sucks & I feel like I can’t win either way.

[nicholaslefthand]

~Fluffy Hair~

Characters: Choi Beomgyu x gn!reader

Genre: Fluff

TW: Knifes (reader cuts themselves), neck kisses, reader gets called grandma as a joke!

W/C: 669

A/n: Dividers by @cafekitsune !!

I was so excited to see my boyfriend today! We haven't seen each other in like- 8 days (it hasn't even been a day). I reach for my phone and look at the time to see when he would get there. 'Hm.. It's only 3:27 PM. And he's coming at 4:30 PM..! I miss him so much-!' I thought as I went to the kitchen to make some lunch for myself. 'How about I make some rice? And maybe also some veggies? Yeah, that sounds nice...' I thought again as I arrived in the kitchen and got out everything for making some rice and veggies.

I set the cutting board down and put some green onion on it to start chopping that. Just as I was about to start though, someone knocked frantically on the front door of my apartment. "AHH-!" I hiss at the sting of cutting myself and quickly held a cloth to the bleeding wound and walk to the front door to open it to see my boyfriend standing there with some flowers in hand, "SURPRISE-! OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED?!" My boyfriend yells as he quickly comes inside and puts the flowers on the table next to the front door and then takes the cloth, that now has a blood stain on it, off of my finger and examines the wound. "I cut myself when you scared me by frantically knocking at the door." I say with a sigh at the end. "OH-! I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-" "I know, Gyu... It's fine." My hand that wasn't bleeding, reached out to caress his cheek and press a kiss to his cheek. Beomgyu pouts and presses a kiss to my forehead, "Still... It's my fault that you cut yourself..." He furrows his eyebrows and looks really guilty. "It's just a little cut, Gyu... I'm not dying... I'm fine!" I laugh a little and squish his cheek. He shrieks and then starts laughing. "Ow- Okay thank you Grandma! I love you too!" He jokingly says and I giggle and say in a grandma voice: "That good to know, dear~! Granny loves you soo~ much!" And then I kiss him on the lip while still giggling. Then something else catches my eyes. "OH MY GOODNESS- YOU LET YOUR HAIR GROW OUT!!!" I scream in joy and then leap closer to him to play with his hair. "UH! ITS SO FLUFFY!!" I squeal in complete happiness and continue playing with it. "Baby- your finger..." He grasps my attention back to his words and then I realize that I'm still bleeding. "Oh- yeah..." I giggle nervously and then start walking back towards the kitchen to clean the wound and put a plaster on it. Then as I turn around, I jump again as Beomgyu silently moved behind me and was making no sound, so I don't know that he moved there. "Oh god-! Stop scaring me!" I lightly smack his chest and huff out. He laughs and then hands me the bouquet he wanted to give me before. "Surprise baby..." He softly kisses my cheek when I take the bouquet. I laugh at the tickling feeling and then press a kiss to his lips. "Thank you, my love..." I whisper against his lips and peck him again. I turn around and take out a vase for the flowers and place them inside after putting some water in it. Beomgyu wraps his arms around me and starts pecking my neck. I put my hands into his hair from my position in front of him and play with it. "Your hair is so soft, love..." "Thank you..." He chuckles and then puts his chin on my shoulder and relishes in the feeling on my hands in his hair. "How about you put all that stuff back where it belongs, and we order something in to eat?" I nod at that and make move to take my phone from the back pocket of my jeans. "What should we order?"

Hii! Sorry for not posting for a long time, I had a massive writers block and didn't know what to do against it...😔 I'll try to make as many drafts as possible at the moment to post some things when I don't have motivation to write something new. Anyway- I hope you enjoyed and have a great day / night and make sure to eat and drink water!

#txt #txt x reader #tomorrow x together #txt beomgyu #choi beomgyu #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu x reader #txt fluff #choi beomgyu fluff #beomgyu fluff #kpop x reader

[buck-yyyy]

sigh.

#i want to go get food #but i can’t tell if i’m actually hungry or not #and even if i am #my brain is convincing me that i shouldn’t eat #which is. really bad actually #but it’s happening anyways #any now i want to eat so badly but i feel like i already ate too much today so i shouldn’t #which #again #bad #really bad #idk. #i have no motivation to make myself eat something #and i think part of it is because i have no one to hold me to it #idk #i hate this #i want to eat but i can’t #tw vent #tw ed

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me

#rant #i guess #it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever #like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning #i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry #its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too #it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but #a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container #or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside. #it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time. #i hate this survivalistic shit #its not long before i move out thank god but still #he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything #like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice. #i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it. #and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive #at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont #let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know #writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy

[spookykestrel]

Especially if you’re someone like me who has a n unhealthy relationship with their body I think cooking can be such a powerful act of self love,,,taking the time to put together ingredients to make a dish you love and will enjoy. Spending the time with yourself for yourself . When food is often used a s a way to show love showing that same appreciation for yourself in such an important act of grounding

#this is just a ramble of thoughts #I don’t eat very much and what I eat rarely is something I prepare for myself #either something someone else has made or canned soup etc #so cooking something however small for myself to enjoy I have to take a moment to appreciate it #and when you have depression and adhd and all the cool brain stuff #it can be hard to motivate yourself to eat anything at all #so making a point to prepare something yummy and filling #is a great way to give back to yourself and take care of yourself #to care for something you might spend a lot of time fighting #idfk what I’m saying #I made potatoes again and apparently I can’t be normal about potatoes #kestrel calls #chitter chatter #text post

[devilsskettle]

whenever i hear a song that i would like if it weren’t for the fact that it was too long, i think about this:

like you can afford to write tangentially if you/your music is already popular and you know that people are going to listen to you no matter what and in fact laud your longer pieces as being genius etc but can you really be releasing 5+ minute long songs without a built-in audience?

#idk. thinking about this because of the new lana album and i think i’d like a lot of these songs better if they were shorter lol #some of these songs drag so much especially when she includes these long sections of like one repeated line over and over again #or like when taylor swift releases the extended version of all too well and everyone freaked out #that’s all good and well but she HAD to release the shorter version first #and she knows she has this huge fanbase that will eat that shit up no matter what she does really #part of it is nostalgia admittedly but i also think the shorter version is just a better song #that song is on the longer side to begin with but 10 minutes???? why #(i did listen to both songs back to back to make sure my opinion was still the same as when the 10 minute version was released & it is lol) #idk! obviously i’m bad at this myself because i write so fucking much to express a simple point but it is more skillful to be able #to say things as effectively and precisely in a more concise way #not saying this ONLY applies to mitski because she’s the one this article is about but she is a good example of it #like being able to express a feeling in just a couple lines that would probably take a less skilled writer like a novel to express #it also reminds me of how my high school latin teacher described how in college he took a class about museum design or something like that #and their first assignment was to write a description of an artifact to tell museum visitors what it was #and every time he submitted a draft the professor would tell him to make it shorter while still communicating the necessary information #until he literally could not make it any shorter than it already was #because you have to assume that people are not gonna read all that! because they won’t unless they have some kind of external motivation to #idk there IS something to be said for including ‘unnecessary’ parts of writing etc obviously there’s nuance #but a lot of the time i think if there isn’t a reason to include something then why include it!

[girlscience]

making funny haha jokes to myself like "oh i'm doing so fine" *extreme side eye from the dishes in my sink*..... only to finally do my dishes tonight and discover all my tupperware have become their own microbiomes. fuck

#i am pretty sure i am riding that depression wave hard right now #i am just so stressed all the time #and i feel like i could fix some of that stress if i checked a few very specific things off my to do list #here's the thing tho. i am realizing i might need outside help to get those things done #and that is uncomfortable for two reasons #one being that means i will have to ask someone to help me do these things and be my external motivator #and put up with me being cranky the whole time because i will be deeply embarrassed about it and will end up taking it out on them #and then two being that. these things are for grad school. and if i can't even get the fucking applications done on my own #how the fuck do i think i'm going to be able to get through two years by myself?? #also i am so sleepy and my sleep schedule has been fucked for like two weeks now and that's not helping #and i need to do things to my car and make several doctors appointments and work stuff and apartment stuff #and everything happening in the world and stuff happening with my friends and my family #and i just. how i am supposed to live with this much in my brain all the time #and i'm reading fanfic and comparing myself to the characters and coming up miserably short #and i hate the way i look all the time and i could do something intelligent like. #stop eating gummy worms and meat sticks for every meal and eat veggies and go to the gym and learn to love myself... #or i could decide my straight hair is the root of all my problems and get a perm #you know. like a normal person does #it's OK!! I'm Fine!!! aaaaaaaaaa

[supercantaloupe]

just occurred to me this morning as i woke up this morning why i'm (probably) so taken aback by people in orchestra being So Nice to me cause i saw some photos on social media posted by ppl i traveled to [redacted] with, people who only stood to even have a conversation with me as a last resort kind of social option. i have literally Never gotten along with groups of people, Ever, unless that group of people was also orchestra people. seriously

#i wanna talk about me #sasha speaks #i'd say it's kind of sad that most of my irl social life (and half of my online one) begins and ends with other musicians #and probably should've realized YEARS ago what that says about me and my dumb brain (a touch of the 'tism) #but at the same time like. idk i can't truly make myself feel Bad about 90% of my social life #being in the rehearsal hall for the past 7 years #cause i do love playing and i love being somewhere where people don't Fucking Hate Me #(or at least where i'm not constantly the last choice of person to interact with. sometimes below no interaction at all) #and if i convinced myself to hate orchestra on the grounds of it being My One Social Outlet i'd just. idk. die or something #cause i literally have nothing else lol all k have is music #idk maybe music people have an ulterior motive (want me to play good for/with them) #but that's better than not wanting to have anything to do with me at all right? #and anyway. some violist saying he'd rather see me playing principal on the concert than dan. he's got no skin in that game right #except for being nice and liking me as a player #and while i want to be liked as a Person too i'd rather be liked as a player over not liked at all #(i don't think he even necessarily dislikes me as a person. we just never interact outside of rehearsal so i've never really encountered #him in a different context so i wouldnt know lol) #just. agh. getting invited to sit at the lunch table with other people by a pianist classmate. man!! #they don't know that.jpg it means so much to me just to be invited to eat together

[slavabogu]

ohohoho the day elongation mania begins

#or maybe the after period energy peak #i worked out happily and without forcing myself for the first time in MONTHS #and im extremely motivated to get ripped and eat healthy #when i walk i feel like a model #i have a beautiful feeling of self control #and also care less about proving myself at work. which is an important energy drain to be able to just about ignore #some beautiful vibes going on #i also BOUGHT A HAT #the ones that were popular in y2k like fergie wore #i want to point out that this is extremely rare i hate how hats look on me but i was feeling this one so mucg #somethings going on. making me want to read my horoscope

[knifegremliin]

why is today SO determined to kick my ass i don't understand :(

#🔪.text #been nauseous all day so it's been a struggle to eat #i was finally starting to actually feel hungry so i made dinner #what happens while i'm eating? i get nauseous again :/ #my bestie is feeling bad so we can't really talk because i'm too afraid i'd end up saying something to make xem feel worse #(i probably would because i have a pretty good track record of saying things that upset people without meaning to) #i can't get myself to do anything because i have absolutely no motivation or desire to do anything #aghhhhh #all i can do is sit here and be cranky about it all #also it said it was gonna storm today but now it doees Not say that and like! come on!!! #you can't let me have this ONE thing?? #ugh #yeah i'm complaining on main again #today's just not a great day lol #honestly it's all probably just because i'm too worried about my bestie

[bettsfic]

today is my birthday! i’m 33 today and i have done an ungodly amount of stupid shit in my life that honestly probably should have gotten me killed. so here are 33 hard-won things i’ve learned that i wish someone had told me sooner.

whenever you buy an object, you are going to own that object for your entire life unless you make the conscious decision to throw it away or give it a new home. maybe other people don’t struggle with this as much as i do, but i’ve grown to become a little exhausted by finding a thing and realizing i don’t want it anymore, but i don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it. signed, a woman with a packed 10x10 storage unit who is now extremely hesitant to buy new things.

food, and by that i mean good food (and by that i don’t necessarily mean healthy food, but food of good quality that you love), is necessary to live, and buying it, preparing it, and eating it is not a chore. the sooner you accept this and make food a priority in your life, the healthier you’ll be. 

speaking of food, not everything you buy should be the cheapest version of it. personally i’ve found it’s always worth it to splurge on good olive oil, butter, and canned tomatoes. for years i thought i was an awful cook because i was cooking with cheap, disgusting olive oil that made my food taste like shit.

speaking of food part 2, i can’t BELIEVE how long this took me to figure out, but mise en place is the real real. get your shit out and organized and prepped *before* you start cooking, even if it makes things take longer. and yes, it is always worth it to do the dishes as you go, which pisses me off.

when i was teaching myself how to cook and feeling daunted about it, the best advice i ever got was to aim to learn 15 recipes and then put them in rotation.

this is the most horrific and awful truth i have forced myself to accept: there may come a day you can no longer digest your favorite foods, and you will either have to stop eating them, or remain very close to a toilet. i’m sorry.

other people are always going to misperceive you and misunderstand you, sometimes willfully. other people’s opinions of you don’t actually have anything to do with you. they’re not your business, and you don’t have to worry about it or change yourself.

when innocuous or neutral things make you irrationally angry or upset, step back, realize you’re having a big reaction, and then when you’re ready, pay very close attention to the thing that upset you, because you’re about to learn something important about yourself.

a pill sorter can save your life. i don’t know how i managed my meds without one.

sometimes college is about learning stuff, and not about becoming something.

no matter how many perfectionist tendencies you have, it’s worth it to remind yourself that no matter how much of a mess you actually are, you deserve to be loved.

if you’re always forgetting to do important but tedious things, set an alarm and set aside one hour of each week, not to do the important tedious things, but to assess what needs to be done, and *schedule* the important tedious things for the following week. this literally changed my life.

during that hour, make a meal plan too. the point of doing this is condense the time in which you’re making decisions (what to do, what to eat, etc) so you don’t have to burden yourself with them throughout the week. decision fatigue is real. any way you can alleviate that is a good thing.

learn the difference between aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive behavior. recognize when you’re being one of the first three, re-assess and aim for being assertive, even if it’s hard.

you can tell you’ve processed trauma, not when the traumatic thing stops upsetting you to think about, but when the traumatic thing takes up the same size in your brain as all your other memories.

if you’re one of those people who never seems to finish projects or follow through with things, there’s a chance you may just grow out of it naturally. until then, follow your interests and don’t feel bad about putting down a hobby to pick up another.

if you love stickers but have sticker anxiety, buy vinyl stickers. you can re-stick them.

there are only a few careers i can think of that you have to commit to early in life because getting the undergraduate credentials is a pain in the ass (teachers, doctors, and engineers, from my research). nearly everything else you can switch to later, which takes a LOT of pressure off having to figure out what you want to do with your life.

people say there’s no money in becoming an artist, writer, musician, etc. actually there’s a ton of money in all of those things, it’s just in the stuff other people want you to make and never what you want to make. it’s still worth it to develop the creative skill and not force yourself into business school because it’s more “practical” or whatever. 

sleep when you’re tired. SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE TIRED. don’t beat yourself up about it, don’t tell yourself you shouldn’t be tired or that you’ve already slept too much, just take a fucking nap. you would never say “hm i’ve already had enough water today, therefore i should not be thirsty” so don’t treat sleep the same way.

when you build a piece of furniture from target or ikea or whatever, the first thing you should do is count all the little screws and things to make sure everything’s there that should be. it sucks to get halfway into putting something together only to find there’s a piece missing and you have to go buy it.

learn to travel by yourself, go out to eat by yourself, see a movie by yourself. in my early 20s i was scared to do these things, but i do them so often now i don’t even think about it. it’s the most fulfilling skill i’ve ever learned.

adding to the above, if you’re a people-pleaser, being alone is especially important, because you’ve probably developed the habit of making the people you’re with more comfortable and happy than yourself, and you’re missing a lot of the beautiful and interesting things around you. when you’re by yourself, you can focus on what *you* want without guilt. 

sometimes you’ll want to break things off with a friend for reasons that are no one’s fault, and you don’t want it to be volatile or make a big thing of it, in which case the goal is to simply fade out of their life. it is okay to let people go.

shame is useless. get rid of it.

no matter how much of yourself you put into your art (or writing, or music, or whatever), when people criticize it, they are not criticizing you. they are having a reaction colored by their own tastes and perspectives. their opinion of your work has nothing to do with you. you don’t have to take everyone’s feedback. in fact you don’t have to take anyone’s feedback. the other side to this coin unfortunately is that compliments don’t have anything to do with you either. it’s good to accept this because it means you’ll stop seeking validation from other people and won’t let anyone else’s perspectives impact your work. anything nice anyone says about your work is merely a bonus to an already good thing.

if you’re an artist of any kind, take one day a year to look up opportunities like grants, funding, residencies, workshops, whatever. put the due dates of all of them on a calendar for the year following and get into the habit of applying for stuff. getting rejected sucks, application fees suck, but in all the years i’ve been doing this, it has always, always been worth it. these things give you a chance not only to help fund and support what you’re passionate about, but they force you to take your own work seriously, and that is something that’s absolutely necessary in order to be successful.

you must become your own greatest advocate. in all respects--in health, in love, in happiness, in freedom, you must. no one will ever fight as hard for you as you will. this in turn will give you the strength and motivation to help others fight for themselves too. the only way the world will ever get better is if every person on this planet learns to see themselves as equals to everyone around them.

brag about yourself as often as you can. for one, people develop their perceptions of you based on how you treat yourself and speak about yourself. but for two, it’s the fastest way to figure out which people to keep in your life, because they’re the ones who are going “oh hell yeah, you’re awesome.” 

be the person other people want to brag to.

at some point in your life, someone is going to hurt you, and it’s going to be willful and intentional. it is not worth it to waste brain space figuring out why they did it or why you think you deserved it. all you have to do is let yourself feel that pain, acknowledge it, and try to move on.

no matter how bad off you think you are, recovery is possible. the first and hardest step is to learn you’re worth the time and effort it takes to recover from the awful things that have happened to you.

developing an expertise does not mean you’re getting objectively better at something. becoming an expert is only the process of seeing your mistakes and having the patience to sit in the discomfort of not knowing how to fix them.    

#writing advice

[ryn-stillstanding]

I just started restrictive eating again after gaining weight on my antidepressants- things that helped me get started

starting slow:

-> cut out snacks, then breakfast, then lunch - then reduced supper to 700, down to 500cal

-> started with weight training (before i started dieting), added in 30min walks a few times a week and built up to 60mins a day and weight training 3x a week

figured out how to control cravings:

-> when i feel i need to eat, i tell myself to drink a cup of green tea, and if im still hungry ill have something small

-> im a chip girly and i love the taste, so i bought crispy minis in my favourite flavours (7cal / chip) and i eat a couple every day

-> for sweets, keep small chocolates, or i make my coffee sweet with zero cal coffee syrup, which keeps me satisfied all day

-> for fried foods, I just be careful with what I eat. for chicken fingers, i eat chicken breast instead - for fries, i eat other carbs (the low cal salty snacks help too)

-> if you don’t control your cravings, they will control you

figured out my triggering times and adjusted:

-> i start feeling hungry around 2-3, so that’s when i go on my daily walk (im lucky to be able to do this) it keeps me out of the house and away from food until supper

-> i used to binge on chips and chocolates at night, now i drink tea sweetened with stevia and a couple of crispy minis

-> at my triggering times, i look at thinspø, or my body to remind myself why im doing this

other rules i follow:

-> if tea is not available, drink an entire stanley of water before seeing if you’re hungry

-> chew about 10x per bite

-> drink an entire stanley of water while eating my supper to keep me full (i honestly feel stuffed after)

-> i still go out to eat with friends, but order something small / healthier, and pack up half for tomorrows meal. i want to lose the weight, but i want to enjoy time with friends too

-> “if i binge, ill just feel more hungry tomorrow”

-> embrace the hunger, it means im burning fat

-> i waited till i felt “skinnier” to weigh in, because i knew seeing the number would discourage me (idk why it has the opposite effect on me)

-> doing the calculations to find out when i will hit goals with my cal intake (number of days x caloric deficit / 3500 = pounds lost) - this keeps me motivated having an “end date”, but i dont think ill ever want to quit

^^ check out my pinned post to see how to do this + set rewards

thanks that’s all :)

#ed disorder #ed not ed sheeran #thinspø #tw restrictive ed #⭐️ving #tw disordered eating #tw ed diet #anatumblr #ana tricks #tw ana diary #ana bllog #ana trigger #ana meal #i need to ⭐️ve #⭐️rve #i want to ⭐️ve #ed advice #thin$po #i need to be weightless

[spotify-kids-real]

since i gots no motivation and my mom found my main im gonna do this here

if this gets to 1k notes by the end of march I’ll make myself eat a regular amount everyday

if this gets to 1.5k note I’ll something healthy everyday :3

if this gets to 2k notes I’ll finally starting working on trying to get a computer so I can start one of my bigger projects

YALL HAVE A MARCH DEADLINE!!!!

and uhhhh tags : @yes-im-youtube-kids @the-official-apple and uh uh uh this is to much pressure guys just do whatever

#The bigger project is an object show that I’ve dreamed of making since I was 10 #spotify kids is best #Also like #only notes #I don’t count comments and reblogs since I am not doing math when I don’t have to

[luveline]

bombshell!reader getting caught sleeping over at spencer's before making their established relationship public & the team still thinks spencer is uncomfortable with r's approaches. 🤭

Spencer bought you pyjamas. You're sick with secret pleasure at the fact, staring at yourself in every passing window and reflective surface. They're simple skinny knitted sweatpants and a matching hoodie, and it's not necessarily something you'd buy for yourself, but why would you ever complain? Spencer got you new clothes as a gift with no occasion or motive; you'd marry him now if you thought he'd say yes. 

Too bad he's still sleeping. 

You turn away from his kitchen window back to your cooking, an oiled frying pan sizzling hot on the stove, eggs browning at the edges as Spencer likes. Two twin mugs of hot coffee steam on the counter next to two plates of crispy bacon and toasted english muffins, deconstructed breakfast sandwiches. You're ninety percent sure he likes breakfast sandwiches. 

It's odd knowing enough about Spencer to fancy yourself in love with him, but being in a relationship that's so new that there are a thousand gaps. You know how he likes his eggs but not his bacon. Does he like melted cheese? Does he drink orange juice this early?

You'll have to ask him. If he's brave enough to ask you to stay the night, you can ask him about breakfast. 

It's getting way too hot in the kitchen. The opened window isn't cutting it. You hook your elbow into the hem of your hoodie and pull it over your head before folding them to set neatly aside. You feel cooler in your vest, if a little exposed. Good thing it's just you and Spence—

A knock rattles the door. "Reid, you home?" 

Well, I brought that on myself, you think with a laugh. You take the eggs off of the heat and wipe your oily fingers clean on a dish towel as you meander to the door. It's too early for running. 

"Hello, Derek," you say, opening the door with a put upon casualness. He blinks at you. He's wearing gym clothes, a sleeveless t-shirt and tight sweatpants. You wolf whistle before he can say hello himself. "Looking good. Early run?" 

"You're kidding," he says. 

"Am I ever? You look great! Did you want to come in– woah!" 

Deft-fingered hands pull you out of the doorway and firmly behind it. Spencer steps into your place, closing the door to a slit. "Hi, Morgan." 

"Reid. You're both kidding." 

"I don't know what you mean." Spencer rakes a hand through his sleep mussed hair. You try to ignore how much you enjoyed him moving you around. 

"Reid, I just saw her!" Morgan laughs more happily than incredulously. You can't see him but you can picture his smile and his slightly slouched posture, his arms crossed over his chest. "Since when do you guys bunk up? You're a jerk, you know that? I'm always telling her to stop bothering you, but now I'm thinking you like being bothered." 

"I never asked you to do that," Spencer says weakly. 

You nudge Spencer aside gently, popping your head back into Morgan's view. "My AC broke, my apartment's a hot hell. Reid let me come over." 

"Oh yeah?" Morgan asks, rolling his eyes. "That why he tried to hide you? What's so secret about broken AC?" 

"He's a genius, he's not perfect. I'm sure he was just trying to protect my decency. I'm not dressed for company." You put a more than friendly hand on Spencer's back, the dip of it like a tempting line under his thin sleep shirt. You want more than anything to dig under his shirt and feel along the curve of it. You'd pictured it this morning, eating eggs and drinking coffee under his arm, your fingertips tracing the short wall of stretch marks he has just above his coccyx.  

Spencer rolls with your lie as well as he's able to, which, having been caught off guard, is not very well at all. "Right. She's not wearing a bra." 

You snort. Morgan laughs and almost turns around to walk away. 

"Did you want breakfast?" Spencer asks weakly. He sounds resigned to his fate. Skewed, he uses the hand furthest away from you to reach behind his back and squeeze your hand in a swift apology. 

"I'll pass, man." Morgan pulls his cap down a touch. "Sounds like you're having breakfast fit for two." 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

[churipu]

WHAT REMINDS THEM OF YOU 𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧

ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru, megumi fushiguro, itadori yuuji

ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. just pure fluff :D

note. i was going to write some hurt comfort — but then i figured that i wanted to keep myself sane for today :>

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

anything strawberry. scent, taste — anything strawberry.

gojo remembered when the first time he brought you home some honeoye strawberries after a mission since it was in season. the way your eyes just lit up at the sight of strawberries made him happy, and from then on — gojo looks at a picture of a strawberry or even smelled strawberry from god knows where.

he just thinks of you.

one time gojo saw a rabbit eating a strawberry while scrolling through his social media, and he wasted no time sending the video to you with a small message: "you <33"

or the other time gojo sees a bucket cap with strawberry motives and he just had to get it for you. the male waited in line for half an hour for that hat (and he had to "fight" a kid for it, he won in the end because the kid moved on to a duck motive hat instead).

"baby, look what i got you — strawberry scented bath bomb. it was the last one on stock, and i had to argue with a lady over it," he happily bursts through the door, boasting while raising what seemed to be a bath bomb.

gojo just knows when you change your usual brand of strawberry lip balm. it took him a peck and he asks you, "did you change your brand? this one tastes weird," he wipes his lips.

"they were out of stock, 'toru."

"why didn't you say so?" he cooed, kissing the bridge of your nose, "i'd go to the other side of the earth to get you one, y'know?"

you chuckled, "or, i could just wait for it to stock back . . ."

"nonsense!"

𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

the smiths.

he finds it amusing when you start quoting that one scene from 500 days of summer, "i love the smiths . . ." and he just unexpectedly replied with, "sorry?"

but that time — he didn't know that he was "unknowingly" going along with it. confused, he had to question you about it, and when you told him it was from a movie. megumi finally understood and thought that maybe you really liked the movie.

he was wrong. it wasn't the movie, it was the smiths. so now, every time he sees anything or hears anything about the band, he finds himself thinking about you — but he'd never actually say that. megumi often listens to their songs just so he could understand when you talked to him about it.

also, quoting the movie was now a habit for you two. you just go, "i love the smiths," out of the blue and megumi will continue it (even if he says that it's pretty corny).

megumi loves it when you listen to the smiths out loud, singing softly to the tune. the male tries really hard to get you unofficial merchandise, official merchandise for the smiths are actually so hard to find today — so he just had to go and make it custom for you.

"and when the double decker bus, crashes into us . . ." he heard you sing, both of your ears jammed with earbuds from the earphones, "to die by your side."

that, was your favorite song. and megumi made it into a custom painting of you and him as if the two of you were in that one scene in 500 days of summer. i'm not kidding.

𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈 𝐘𝐔𝐔𝐉𝐈

mochi skin. the texture, the flesh. it just reminded him of your cheeks — it's so squishy and soft. every single time he buys a mochi, he makes sure to do something that he calls a squish test.

where he squishes the mochi, and then squishes your cheeks. if they don't feel the same, yuuji gets rid of the mochi and gets another one (he eats them).

"it doesn't feel the same y/n, i don't like it," he whines out softly, tossing the mochi into his mouth — he angrily takes out another bill of cash to buy another mochi.

"yuuji, why does it have to be the same again?" you asked him, hands inside your pockets.

"because . . ." good point. why?

the male prompts to ignore you and buy another one (three others) to make sure they are the same texture as your cheeks. it's something he does — if a mochi he buys doesn't feel the same way like your cheeks does.

he eats them or lets you have them.

if it does.

he also eats them or lets you have them.

it's just something he does for fun, so he could always remember you. and when you're not there with him — yuuji makes sure to buy at least five before coming over to visit you so he could do the test.

when he's not feeling like it but he misses you, he takes a video and sends it to you with a caption: "i miss you."

© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #fluff #gojo satoru #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader #jjk #itadori yuuji #itadori fluff #itadori yuuji x reader #megumi fushiguro #megumi fluff #megumi fushiguro x reader

[absolutelydedinside]

Dear Il Dottore,

I love you so much it cannot be contained into words. Even this letter is but a mere fraction of my affection. But I hope it gets the point across!

Every night when I cannot sleep and you're busy with work I imagine you laying next to me, your warm arms feel so real. I imagine you giving me snuggles and kisses. Even if in reality it is a mere delusion, it makes me happy. I care not if it is hurtful to me to love you so much, the happiness I feel with you by my side is something I will never forget nor change. Your existence brings me motivation and strength; something I find slipping from my grasp everyday without you.

In the early hours of the day I love it when I eat with you, even if it is a mere scrap or another tub of ice cream. Having you there with me is comforting. I know i'll never be alone because I have you with me! and i'm here for you as well! No matter what i'll always be here for you! 💕💕💕💕💕 I will be here to make you happy!! 💕

I love it when you tell me about how the serum you injected into patient 67 was a success or how you figured out what the missing component was to a machine. I love you so much Dottore!!!!!!! I feel like crying when you arent with me, even writing this im getting so emotional im.not evem joking.

AAhhhhh I just love you so much !!! I love you eyes, your face, your hair, your wardrobe, your ideals, your inspirations, your smile, and your EVERYTHING!!!! I just love you so much <3 WHENEVER I LOOK AT YOU I GET SO OVERWHELMED !!! I have to scratch and claw at my bed to calm myself down !!!

I love you so much I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU DOTTORE!!!!!!!!!!

I remember you were so happy when I suprised you with that cheesecake for your birthday. You picked me up and gave me so many kisses!! I was so happy. And then for my birthday you made me a giant killing machine 😊 It was the best birthday present EVER!!!!!!!! I still love to snuggle with it!. I even got it a cute pink bow so it could match with you! It's so cute!! (but you're cuter~)

I love all the segments if it wasn't already obvious too!! Even if you cringe at things you did when you were younger, which is pretty funny :3 I love our son babyttore who gets rocks thrown at him!!! I love playing lps with him (he likes pulling them apart but its ok because he puts them back together afterwards) I love snuggling with you and all the segments!!!! 💖💖 YIPPE !!! *jumps around joyfully* I LOVE U DOTTORE!!!

*BEAMS MY AFFECTION DIRECTLY INTO YOUR HEART* *BEAMS MY AFFECTION DIRECTLY INTO YOUR HEART* *BEAMS MY AFFECTION DIRECTLY INTO YOUR HEART* *BEAMS MY AFFECTION DIRECTLY INTO YOUR HEART*

I love you dottore!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are so silly...... you are silly man :] 💕☺️ I love big spooning because it means I get to feel your soft hair!!!!!! YAY!! I LOVE YOU DOTTORE... You mean so much to me!! YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING MAN!!!! A BEAUTIFUL MAN!!! YOU ARE SO ADORABLE AND CUTE!!! I JUST WANT TO SMOTHER YOUR FACE WITH KISSES!!!!! AND I WANT TO HUG YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!! you hold such a special place in my heart, all my thoughts lead to you. I see you EVERYWHERE!!!! I hear you EVERYWHERE!!! I'm so in love with you Dottore!!!

My dreams, which used to be empty now have you in them, whenever I close my eyes I see you there smiling at me. I love you! you are my everything in life, my sweetie pookie bear kitten. I love being with you every day 💕 you make every day worth it!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U DOTTORE!!!!!! i love you :3 you are so smart and pretty, you're the prettiest man EVER!!!!!!!!! and I love you!!!!!!!!!!! :]

When im sad I think of you and my day immediately gets better! You bring me so much joy ! you make every day my best day! I love listening to you ramble about your experiments and theories! and I love seeing you happy.

I love kissing you!!! seeing you cute face blush whenever I kiss you makes it so worthwile! I know you think that you don't deserve it, but I will always be here to remind you otherwise! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU DOTTORE!!!! 💖💖💖💖

I have some other things i'd love to say too but... *giggles* ehe! not here *blushes* thats for private ;) giggles :3 lets just say!! I wanna make whoopie with your cushions! 💖💖💖💖💖💖 *blushes madly* hehehe..... >//////< got a bit too carried away there sorry sweetcheeks <3 lets get back to the more sfw stuff~

You have such a beautiful smile that it rivals the world. Your eyes are like a sunset and your hair is the blue sky. Your smile shines like the clouds which litter the sky and the stars that scatter at night. You're my favorite view. You light up my world.

Even if others throw rocks are you I wont!!!!!! I will shield you from those rocks and bear the pain. I will protect you my princess! I will save you from the evil tower!!! and then I will kiss you 💕 I will give your face kisses.... and then I will kiss your lips!!!! 😊😊😊😊

A world without you feels so far away, the thought of you vanishing is one that brings me pain. I would rather bear the heat of a thousand suns than think of leaving you, my beloved sopping wet beast. I'll stand by your side no matter what!!!!!!!!!!! because I LOVE YOU!

You're so smart and determined that it inspires me to be my best self everyday!!! to not let others bring me down! You bring out the best in me and I bring out the best in you 💖 we bring out the best in each other!!!! We fit together like puzzle pieces 💕 Whenever i'm with you i feel like im drowning in a sea of love and affection, a blue abyss of serotonin 🥰

Your eyes are the same color as that which keeps my body alive, maybe this is why I always find myself getting lost in them. Whenever I think of you my chest feels like its going to explode! my love for you is so strong. Your happiness is my happiness, Dottore 💕 I love your eyes so much!!! they are so beautiful and I love how you get flustered when I compliment them ☺️ you're just so cute when you blush!!! It makes me want to kiss you all over! ♡

The warmth of your body when we snuggle is a comfort I love experiencing every day!! I used to have a hard time sleeping but with you I don't! The love of your embrace never fails to lull to me dreamland at night 🥰🥰 I LOVE YOU DOTTORE!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

You bring me so much happiness, I can't even imagine a world without you!! I would probably be withering in the corner of my room like a dead fly in a fridge (reference to the dead fly that was in my fridge). I would have been turned into tiny little mold particles!! but IM NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE IN MY LIFE!!! :DDD

Ill fight the heavens to save you. ILL PROTECT YOU MY SNUGGLE BEAR!!!!!!!!! I love you so much. Even writing this I feel my cheeks heating up! 😊 and when I hear your voice I feel butterflies in my tummy !!!!! i love you so much 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕😊☺️😊😊

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOBE YOU I LOVE YOY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOBE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOBE YOU I LOVE YOY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOBE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOBE YOU I LOVE YOY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOBE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOBE YOU I LOVE YOY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOBE YOU I LOVE YOU 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Ahhh! so joyous!!

Love, Absol ♡

#love letter for my babygirl #absolposting #long ass post because im a normal person in society #long post #yumejoshi #love letters 2 dottore <3