laminy

[laminy]

I’m still working on the second draft of my story and I still don’t love it but I read an absolutely terrible book this week that made my writing seem SO much better suddenly everything is looking up! and I do think I have a couple ideas that can maybe improve things. I’m going to keep working on it! ☺️

also even though I no longer really care about the Dodgers and firmly root for the Blue Jays now, I’m still somewhat excited to see the Dodgers play live for the first time this weekend. they’re in Toronto for three games and I am foolishly going to all three. they were my team for most of my life, so even though I may boo them, they still have a part of my heart (I fully expect Toronto lose all three games).

I hope everyone else is doing well! please take care! 🩵

#original story

[laminy]

one of my good friends on here asked how my novel/original story is going, so I thought I would post an update just in case anyone else was wondering too!

it is still going. I am about 3/4 of the way through my second draft, so I feel good about that. I am unfortunately in the part of my writing where I hate everything and it sucks and I feel any talent draining out my body. but every day after work, I still look forward to sitting down and writing, and I enjoy it. I just wish it was better.

I am going to keep pushing through and writing because I truly feel if I stop now I’ll stop forever and never write a single word again. my plan is to keep going, finish this draft as outlined, read over it, and then go ahead with a third draft.

from the first draft to the second, there were a lot of changes. I liked the ideas I had for the first draft but they weren’t all great on paper, and I was still trying to get a feel for the characters.

from this draft to the next draft, I think the first half of the story will be the same, but there’s a point where I feel like it falls apart and my goal will be for it to not do that anymore.

I really like the main characters, I love writing them in love, yes the male lead is basically a fantasy boyfriend but I don’t care!!!! I basically just write about how pretty he is and then throw in a couple flaws.

I can’t believe I’ve been working on this for six months now. it’s gotten to the point that I’ve literally dreamt about the characters now.

so that’s it! I’m having fun while also doubting everything I do ☺️

#original story

[laminy]

hello, hope ur well :) whats the meaning behind ur username, if ur alright with sharing?

hello! thank you, I hope you are well too!

no problem at all sharing, but it’s definitely not interesting. it’s related to CSI, which I used to be obsessed with. obsessed! like 2002-2008, that was my fandom.

I was just bored in class one day, and doodling about CSI, as you do lol. I meant to write down LV-MI-NY, for the three CSI cities, but I wrote down LA by mistake and then I decided that laminy looked like a cool username for something.

that’s it! I carry my CSI-related typo with me ☺️

[laminy]

Hello there, love, it's been a few weeks. How're you doing? What's the latest? Hope you're alright, your last post is a bit worrying ❤️

Hello! 🩵

thank you for messaging, it’s always so nice to see an ask in my inbox, puts a little bounce in my step.

I’ll put it all behind a cut because I’m sure some people don’t care and also some discussion of mental health might be triggering for people.

I cannot say this is the worst I have ever been or ever felt because in 2017 I had actual plans of when/where/how I wanted to die, and that is not happening right now, 2017 will always be the worst in that regard. but it is still a very hopeless period of my life and I’m essentially out of anything to look forward to and I spend most days pretty sad.

on the job front, I still have one. but I will be honest and say that every day, I would not be surprised if they fired me, and that out of the eight people in my department, I believe the only one not currently looking for a new job is the manager. she loves it, she think it’s great. it’s the rest of us who are struggling and feeling unappreciated, targeted, unhappy. it’s just tough because I hate looking for new jobs, I am very unlucky in job searches (the amount of student debt I graduated with, you’d think I’d have more qualifications), and I know that I’m very lucky in having a role that is still WFH, with the exception of maybe once a month. it’s just really frustrating because a year ago, yeah it was busy but it wasn’t upsetting like this.

the living situation is still hell. we’ve had to call the police multiple times in the past few weeks for various reasons — attempted break ins, domestic violence in another unit. on top of that, I really just don’t sleep because the upstairs neighbours are up all hours of the night, and so I’ll regularly be woken up between 2-5AM. we ask them to be quiet, they do not care, they will not change. also, the building is basically built out of damp cardboard and scotch tape so there is zero soundproofing and multiple water leaks throughout. but I really can’t afford much else. even if I could get approved for a place of my own in a different building (gosh my dream is to not have roommates), one bedroom apartments here go for 2.5x what I pay now. which just isn’t feasible.

the one vaguely good thing going on is that I am still writing! I know I’m not posting anything which actually makes me really sad, and I am sorry for it. I always think like, oh, I just sort of abandoned all those other ideas. but I am kind of all in on the original story I’m writing for now. I’m halfway through the second draft. it’s coming together a lot better than the first draft but there will still have to be a third draft. too much exposition in one scene. maybe too many things happening, a storyline might have to get cut. I enjoy it, I like writing the characters and their story, and at the same time, it’s also a welcome distraction from all the stuff going on in my life. the characters don’t worry about their living situations or losing their jobs, they can afford nice things, they’re happy (okay one of them is pretty depressed and the other can be quite insecure but they have hope for the future! they get the happily ever after).

I know that’s all a lot. but thank you for asking and checking in, I appreciate it. I hope things are well with you and I sincerely hope you take care! 🩵

#thank you!!!

[laminy]

another day, another threat from HR that I’m about to be fired. we’re in a stand-off and I don’t think I’m going to win.

[laminy]

always have to mention the anniversary and the fact that today is FIVE YEARS since posting the first chapter of ITBASM.

time is wild right now because I would’ve sworn it had been a lot longer, like how is 2019 only five years ago, I feel like I’m doing the math wrong.

but obviously thank you to everyone who ever read it, is currently reading it, or even the people who didn’t read it but let me talk about it anyway.

#into the blue and sunny morn’

[laminy]

this is amazingly kind! 🩵

plus, more fic recs for everyone!

ted lasso fic recs

In my Ted Lasso era. These are all Colin centered fics because he's my fave.

i think he knows by laminy @laminy | Colin/Jan | 55k Didn't Know They Were Dating is suchhh a good trope and this one is excellently executed. Sweet. Funny. Perfect character voices. Don't ask me how many times I've read this.

kick it to me (i could make you better for it) by heartofwinterfell @nancywheeeler | Colin/Jamie | 10k Social media fic of all time! Literally felt like I was rewatching the series via social media posts. Cannot even properly explain how much I loved this.

Come Back...Be Here by peach_poppy @curlsandcrown & ToBebbanburg @tobebbanburg | Colin/Jamie | 14k (WIP) Instead of being benched for Zava, Colin gets loaned out to a German team for the season. Very immersive feel, like the authors know the sport or did a lot of research.

Like Humans Do by leslielol | Colin/Michael | 126k Mildly AU but very like canon if canon had given us 95% more Colin arc. Prepare yourself to be emotionally wrecked by prose.

five times colin cooks for his team (and one time they cook for him) by etoile_gracieuse @bright-and-burning | Gen | 16k Love a fic about friendship and cooking.

Only The Welsh Can Cwtch by starryeyedknight | Gen | 4k Love a fic about friendship and hugs.

#fic rec fic rec fic rec

[laminy]

I was tagged by @onehelluvamarine. I’ve done this before but I’m too lazy to go see what my answers were so if you’ve already read this before oh well lol.

How many works do you have on AO3?

75!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,178,935

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. I'm breathing in the chemicals (Teen Wolf)

2. and you know you don't have to go (Ted Lasso)

3. Fear and Self-Loathing in Beacon Hills (Teen Wolf)

4. you're the sunflower (Ted Lasso)

5. into the blue and sunny morn' (BoRhap Actor RPF)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

For sure! People took the time to comment and I really appreciate it so I always reply.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

None of my fics have angsty endings! I’ll do all the angst in the story itself, I’ll make them cry and be angry and break up and whatever but there’s gotta be a happy ending.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

When all the endings are happy, it’s kind of hard to compare, but probably a new life grows. It was the last part of ITBASM so its ending had to some up years of me writing and years of their fictional lives and put them all in a fantastic place.

Do you write crossovers?

I wrote a couple Midsomer Murders x 6 Underground fics.

Have you received hate on a fic?

I’ve gotten some rude anons. I didn’t realize until I was almost done posting ITBASM (the original story) that I didn’t have asks open on here. I imagine I would’ve gotten a lot of hate about one chapter if I had. Back when I was first posting fanfic (like, almost twenty years ago) I found out that people in some private group were making fun of a fic that I’d posted. that was great.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I certainly do. For the longest time, just m/m, and that’s all I’ve ever posted. But for my original novel I’m working on now, it’s my first m/f and it is an experience lol I find it more awkward to write at times but it’s fun too. I’ve had to get used to writing wet a lot. And clit. And cunt. A whole new world!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I know of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I find it hard to comprehend writing as a team event.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I genuinely don’t think I could ever pick. There are so many I’ve read over the years. Some I will never touch again, some I will probably still be reading on my death bed lol. Favourite ever??? No way.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I wrote a 6 Underground fic with Four and Seven that had a couple parts. I intended it to have another, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Same with the Midsomer Murders x 6 Underground fic (I guess I gave up on Four lol), I still have the exact scene that I want to write in my mind, I picture it, but I doubt it will ever go anywhere. Unless I just write that one scene.

What are your writing strengths?

I love writing dialogue so I hope it’s a strength. Also, way too much research and detail and background stuff that will never make it onto the page, it’s just for me.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Overwriting, and flat description, A couple years ago I took a writing course and I submitted the first chapter of a fic I had written (one name changed lol), and they really hated it and it was really demoralizing. They said it read more like a screenplay instead of a book because there was no emotion, no thought, it was just “he did this and this and this.” I’ve tried improving since then, I hope I have.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I have done it! to varying levels of success. I wish I knew Egyptian Arabic so I could have included it more in ITBASM. I only ever include small bits in other languages, and I don’t bother to translate. I assume based on context people can figure it out or check for themselves.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Friends, in the fifth grade. it was handwritten in a notebook, which is possibly still somewhere in my parents’ house, but not with me.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I would still like to finish one of my Gran Turismo fics but I don’t know if that will happen.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

ITBASM as a whole. I know that by the end I was pretty much doing it for me and a handful of other people and I don’t know if it’s as good as it could’ve been but I felt really proud of it and what I did manage to accomplish. It felt more mine than other fics I’ve written.

#i was tagged

[laminy]

I was tagged by @lazarus-james to post the last line I wrote!

Lou’s not going to tell her everything. Some things she wants to keep for herself. But she’ll tell her enough. 

this is from the original story I've been working on. it's the last line of Chapter 13 in my second draft. I currently don't know if I'm ever going to let anyone read it lol but here is a crumb.

#i was tagged #original story

[laminy]

thanks for the support guys, but i'm just doing blorbo research

[laminy]

Rami reaches out and takes Joe’s hand in his, giving him a gentle squeeze. “You’ve been so kind to me,” he says softly. “I hope you know that I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without you. But you know that you can talk to me too, right?”

Joe looks up at Rami, meeting his eyes again, and then his eyes quickly flick down, maybe to Rami’s mouth, and then Joe clears his throat and nods. “Thank you,” he says, withdrawing his hand from Rami’s.

“You��re welcome,” Rami says, settling back in his seat. He looks up at the ceiling as the lights start to dim, and the advertisements start, excitement bubbling up as he looks over at Joe. He can't help but feel that this night is pretty special.

Look I know I’m supposed to be offline but I cannot PASS UP THE OPPORTUNITY to tell you I’m reading itbasm again and omfg I need you to stop being so amazing at writing 😭 that moment made me so soft :,) just their tenderness for each other. CRY. and their whole mini adventure to get popcorn and snacks and chatting made me grin the whole time. literally. 

————————

Rami pulls his jacket closer around his body as he and Joe make their way towards Joe’s flat, the night air cool around them. He thinks he hears a noise behind them, and then he quickly looks back, jumping. He isn’t really sure if the film was that good or not, but there were a lot of scares in it. He’s glad to not be going home alone tonight. For more than one reason.

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. STOP IT. HE’S GLAD TO NOT BE GOING HOME ALONE TONIGHT FOR MORE THAN ONE REASON, STOP IT. YOU ARE OVER HERE TRYNA KILL ME

—————————

“I wasn’t going to say that,” Rami says quickly, trying to speed up.

“Oh ho, this is great,” Joe says, matching Rami’s speed. In turn, Rami just speeds up again until the two of them are running through the streets of Perth, landing at the front door of Joe’s building, laughing loudly as Joe searches for his keys.

“See?” Rami says. “You are a runner.”

Joe’s taking deep breaths, looking at Rami who barely seems bothered by it, and unlocks the front door. “Shut up,” he pants, “I can’t believe you tricked me.”

STOP STOP STOP STOP THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING CUTE 😭 I WANT TO SCREAM. it’s too wholesome omfg. 😭 just. rami over here tricking joe into running, i’m fucking dead 💀😂

—————————

He’s not focusing on the TV at all, because he can’t stop thinking about what Joe said outside. About them going to a film, then going home together. And Joe’s right, Rami was about to call him fit. He really was. He’d like to tell himself that he was just joking, but he’s not. He does find Joe attractive. He loves the colour of his hair. The ways his eyes crinkle when he smiles. Oddly enough, he likes his nose? Something that Rami can say he’s never really noticed on anyone else before. Most of all he likes his laugh. And how nice Joe is. Rami can almost feel the prickle of tears in his eyes as he starts to get overwhelmed. Being around Joe now makes him so nervous, when really, he just wants to tell him the truth. Whatever the truth is, Rami’s not entirely sure. Does he want Joe to be his boyfriend? Does he just want to kiss him? Or just hold his hand? Rami bites down on his lip as he thinks.

🔫 i cannot believe you. it’s so fucking, aughhh ❤️❤️❤️ ramiiiiiiiiiiiiiii RAMIIIIIIIIIII. STOP THAT HE’S SO IN LOVE HOLYSHIT. THE WAY HE FEELS ABOUT JOE AND EVERYTHING HE LOVES ABOUT JOE IS JUST SO FREAKING CUTE. DAMN YOUR AMAZING WRITER ASS, LAMINY.

—————————

Rami takes a few deep breaths. He can do it, he thinks. He can do it. He can say something. They spent all day together, and it was lovely. Rami thinks back on Joe’s words at the museum, calling it a date. Telling him he was happy Rami was there. It would be a perfect way to end it, if Rami said something. It would make Joe so happy. But it might also be the perfect way to ruin it, if Joe rejects him, if those words had just been…Joe being nice. But, Rami thinks, Ben and Gwil won’t be back for another couple of days. If Joe turns him down, Rami can go hide in his flat until Gwil comes back. And things will be better by then. They’ll be over it. Maybe this is the best chance he’s ever going to get. Ben and Gwil won’t just be running off to London all the time, and Rami really doesn’t think he could ever do this with Ben and Gwil around.

LMFAOOO NOT HIM READY TO HIDE 💀 KISS HIM. FUCKING DO IT RAMI YOU PUSSY

—————————

“Rami, do you wanna go on a date with me?” Joe asks.

Rami looks back up at him, smiling. “Really?” he asks. “I’d love to. That’s still a thing people do?” Rami asks, and Joe laughs loudly.

“Yeah, dating’s still a thing,” Joe replies, still chuckling.

“Good,” Rami says, leaning his weight against Joe. “I was worried.” He sighs. “I was worried about a lot of things,” he admits softly.

Joe reaches up, brushing a curl off Rami’s forehead, then leans down to press a kiss to the top of his head. “You don’t have to worry anymore, okay? I’ve got you.”

“I’ve got you.” LAMINY 😭 I CANNOT WITH THESE TWO. Not Rami questioning if dating was still a thing 😂 but I get it, my guy literally didn’t see YEARS AND YEARS go by-

me:🤡🔫

—————————

Joe lifts his hands to his face, still grinning. He honestly can’t believe it. Not even a little bit. Rami, who’s so smart, and kind, and sweet, and loveable…likes him? Him, Joe. Joe Mazzello. Joe’s sure there must have been a misunderstanding somewhere. Surely, Rami meant to have a crush on Gwil? Tall, great accent, even better hair. Or Ben. Equally great accent, killer body. What’s Rami want with him?

Aww Joe’s thoughts just make me want to die 😭 Joe finding it so hard to understand why Rami loves him makes me feel things and when he thinks Gwil or Ben are better and tries to think of an excuse as to why Rami would possibly love him, sigh 😔 

—————————

Joe clears his throat and gently places one hand on Rami’s waist, reaching up with the other to cup his cheek, and then leans in. Joe’s careful to not crowd too close against him, worried that he’ll make Rami feel uncomfortable, and their lips just barely brush before he tilts his head and kisses him harder.

Rami lets out a surprised sound, and jerks back slightly, bumping against the counter, but after a moment, Joe can feel a hand tentatively reach out and grab onto his hip.

Joe pulls back for a moment, smiling, then kisses him again, taking his face with both hands this time. He’s not sure how long they stand there kissing for. Long enough for Rami to reach out with his other hand, tugging him in, making Joe groan softly. Long enough for the kettle to start whistling, and Joe jerks back, glancing over at the stove. “Sorry,” he says, stepping away from Rami to turn off the burner.

LAMINYYYYY YOU CAN’T BE DOING THIS TO ME OKAY? NOT RIGHT NOW. I should not be reading this cute romantic fic while moving on from a breakup 💀 but I like to make myself suffer so yayyy!!! You’re killing me over here with this romantic make out scene 😂 but I love it.

—————————

“Uh, how handsome I am, obviously,” Joe says, and Rami laughs and shakes his head. “So that’s a no, huh? Dammit. I knew Ben had the sexier accent. That’s why I don’t let him anywhere near the rovers. Aliens would be flocking in here left and right for that guy.”

i cackled. yes i did. “That’s why I don’t let him anywhere near the rovers. Aliens would be flocking in here left and right for that guy.” 😂😂😂 yeah definitely killing me out here, laminy. the amount of love I have for this fic and your spectacular writing is beyond comprehension. I just had to come to your inbox and send this since I’m going back and reading this amazing work, love you to bits, laminy ❤️ (also i hope your novel story is going good!! ☺️)

oh my goshhhhh I did not expect to get a message from you about this story right now and your comments are always so in depth and kind and lovely.

god Rami and Joe were so soft haha I remember writing this and just, I want to wrap myself up in a blanket of it, really. like when I started writing this fic, in my head it was a Ben/Gwil fic but then Rami and Joe were so delightful and lovely and soft together. I loved writing Rami. they're so in love. I wrote it and I'm still like awwww haha.

thank god dating is still a thing people do or poor Rami lol. Joe would've brought it back for him though, I'm 100 percent sure.

thank you so much for coming back to my inbox for this, it means the world <3 please take care of yourself!

(I am still writing my novel, I'm about 1/3 of the way through the second draft and right now I love the characters and their vibes but I kind of hate the plot so I'm not sure yet how to fix that lol)

#thank you!!!

[laminy]

oh the joy of writing*

*torn between loving my story and thinking it’s the worst fucking thing that’s ever been written

[laminy]

#it’s wild how obvious the difference is when i’ve written something in a bad mood

[laminy]

going to the opera tonight in an effort to pretend I lead a more interesting life than I do.

[laminy]

you. firstly, sending love like always ❤️ and secondly, i was curious, what’s your big story about? if you want, can you share a summary? i’m so interested in it!!!

thank you so much 🩵

right now, I think I’m too shy to post the full summary, but it is a modern day romance, set in Toronto, because that’s where I live and there are places here I wanted to incorporate and it’s really fun to walk the streets and pick places for the characters to go.

this is the first I’ve ever written a m/f story, actually. the main character is named Lou, she is in her 30s (no it’s not based on me lol I wish, it just didn’t interest me to write someone younger) and she lives with her best friend; her parents also live here, her mum is a famous singer and she is super rich. Lou herself doesn’t really work, she used to but then she gave it up and now doesn’t really know what she wants in life.

Lou has a meet cute with a guy at a local restaurant but neither of them make a move. then the city pulls them back together and they meet again. then from there, as they start dating, Lou’s past keeps popping up and while she struggles with that, her boyfriend also struggles his insecurities and thinking that he’s too boring and plain for the rich fancy life Lou has led. exes pop up. but of course, romance, happy ending!

#answering asks #original story

[laminy]

I am finally finally done the first draft of my NaNo novel.

I somehow hit 80k in November and managed to win it but at that point the story was not even close to being done. I can now say that the first draft of this bad boy is approx. 203,000 words, (plus a couple hundred that’s mostly notes I left myself for editing).

I will be frank and say that although I don’t think my mental health is at an all time low (shockingly), it is very low right now (trouble at work, trouble at home, two pets have been put down in the last couple weeks) and getting to go to the library to work on this every day has been such an escape and so much fun.

I’ve never tackled editing a big project like this all at once. I’m so used to fanfic writing shorter stories, or just editing chapters individually, so I am not sure how the second draft of this is going to go. I have some ideas I’m excited to implement. I definitely need to give it a read through and explore other ideas from there.

I think if I do actually manage to finish and come up with a second draft of it, that it’s going to look and feel like a pretty different beast. but I will still always hold this draft in my heart, the longest original story I’ve ever written 🩵

#nano 2023 #nanowrimo #original story

[laminy]

(diff. Anon) I feel like you can definitely call it a novel even if you're the only one who sees it. It's all about the size 😎

😎😎😎 then it is definitely a novel because it’s gonna be over 200,000 words by the time this draft is done lol.