#my bones are weird i have a small white fluffy hell dog and my back hurts

[lighthousegod]

WHAT IS MY CAT

Hey, so I have a Cat Question (or more like a Cat Request, really) and was hoping the science (??) side of tumblr, or cat identifying side of tumblr, or something like that, could help?

So, I got my cat Mikey (Michelangelo Mayhem Apollo *last name*) in January of 2022. The vets estimated she was about 3 months old. She was found by a family friend we met through my grandma, who is a manager at a vet clinic herself. Unfortunately, her areas of expertise are horses and dogs, so she could only help so much. I'm looking to find out what breeds Mikey may have in her.

Physically, Mikey has only gotten stranger (and cuter, ofc) as she's gotten older. She is a looong cat. She's got longer legs than my roommates' male cat at 1 year old. Her tail is much longer than other cats I've been around too, about the length of her torso. Despite that, she's not very big. She's skinny, and pretty small compared to our medium sized male cat back home.

She's also got big ears. I thought she'd grow into them, but they still look kinda big compared to our other cats. They even have the slightest hint of a tuft coming off the ends, but I think that's more likely to be her long-ish fur.

That's another thing- her fur. I say long-ISH because it's not quite domestic-long-hair-long. The vet called her a domestic medium hair, which I didn't know was a thing. She's a calico, with half of her face being black, the other (right) side being orange, and a cute white strip down her nose leading to her white chin and chest. Her fur pattern is pretty regular for a calico, but that's not even the weird part-

Her fur is CRAZY soft. Like, for the longest I thought my fluffy grey and white tabby, Loki, was the softest I'd ever felt, but she takes the cake over any of mine, or my friends, or any alley cats I've had the pleasure of petting. The best I can describe it is like- you know when kittens are real little? Their coats aren't fully grown in and their fur is almost like down on a baby duck or smth- all fuzzy and soft as a cloud and sticking out everywhere. It's like that, even as she's grown a little, all the time. It lays down mostly now, and looks more silky than downy, but the softness is still there. Still, it's not all that thick. My roommates short hair is so much denser, where as Mike's hair seems so light. I've even had other cat owner friends comment on it, wondering why she was so soft ("but silky? Like, not fuzzy. Loki is fuzzy, but she's silky. Its weird")

Jumping back to bone structure and how long she is, though, she's got a long face, too. Not quite like a Siamese or Oriental breed, her nose is much longer than any of my other cats. My dad says her face looks like a lizard or a dragon, while my other cat's face is like a racoon (Idk man he's weird). Either way, she does have a sort of long, more harsh bone leading to her nose that reminds me of those two breeds I mentioned before, and they do also have long limbs and ears, but she just looks too different from them for that to be all she is. She is definitely a mix.

(If you read this far, here's a pic. Sorry for holding out on you.)

Now, let us discuss Michael's... strange... attitude.

She is a sweetheart. And when I say that, I really mean it. She's very vocal, and greets me every time I open my door. She purrs all the time, even when she's just looking at me. I love her so so so much god.

She is also insane. She yells a LOT. She never (or rather hasn't??) Grown out of that high pitched kitten meow even though she's over a year old. I think she just likes talking. I know Orientals are also known for being super vocal, so maybe that's got something to do with it, but there's more to it. She still acts like a kitten, running around SO much more than my other cats. Her "zoomies" are frequent, and while she isn't attacking my feet under the covers constantly anymore (my first 6 months with her were hell and I have the scars to prove it), she IS still PARKOURING OFF OF WALLS??? AND SHE'S ONLY GETTING BETTER AT IT. I swear she gets both feet on there, catapulting herself off like. On x games mode for real.

But yeah, she still acts like a kitten, mostly. Still looks like one a bit. I have a sneaking suspicion she could be a slow maturing breed, or at least a mix of one with something else, but I'm not sure what breed that would be.

Also, important note: she acts like a dog. She "talks" like one, plays fetch like one (she taught herself), and her romping with other cats really does just seem more like puppy play. She trots around like a little horse too, which isn't that important but it's very cute. And she's just so smart. Like I said, taught herself fetch (which isn't as uncommon as you may think, apparently), and can even PLAY GAMES that she MAKES UP.

Once, when I was at my first university, my dad came up to visit. I wanted to show him she could fetch as she'd just learned recently, and when I threw it she excitedly chased it and... brought it back to my dad instead of me. So, okay, fine, she just doesn't wanna play with me. Be that way. Except, the next time she brought it to me. And then to dad, and then to me again. And it became clear she was doing that on purpose. But soon, she broke the pattern, and picked dad over me again. I assumed we were all done and pretended I wasn't betrayed, but NO. She then proceeded to bring it back twice in a row to ME, and then to him twice, and the me again. Like, I know that's not that impressive. But my other cats don't even know what to do with their toys besides bat them around. It was big for a little kitten to be making up games and shit. Maybe she's just extra creative, idk, but it was wild. She still fetches to this day, until her balls all unraveled and she can get a new one.

Anyway, she's just. Such a weirdo. She's terrified of the car (it makes her carsick, but it didn't when she was younger), and she's scared of outside despite her curiosity(the lady who found her lived pretty remote. I got her because I thought she was affectionate and calm. Turns out she was just sick, and actually is insane! But very affectionate still. My mom has a theory that she fears going outside because she was sick and alone in the cold woods for a while as a baby.)

Alright. I think that's it? Idk I'm long-winded as hell and I'm sorry for that. But I hope someone may know some breeds who are known for her physical traits, and maybe these personality traits as well? We'll see. So anyway, thanks for meeting Mikey! Feel free to call her any iteration of Michael (Myers, Afton, Jackson, B. Jackson, Jordan, whatever floats your boat.)

Here's some more pics :)

#cat breed #cats #calico #my cat #cats of tumblr #science side of tumblr #science side please explain #veterinary #kitten #not like discord kitten #like my actual cat #she is just a baby #dont be weird

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

revenge bedtime procrastination but the opposite where i go to bed really early. also known as waking up at 5 am and saying goodnight to your friends who are about to go to sleep

#both is in response to shit going on but one is ‘i want control over my life and time for myself where i do what i want’ #and the other is ‘i want control over my life and also im a sleepy bitch’ #plus if you’re like ‘oh i went to sleep’ what are people gonna say? go to sleep later? they can’t UwU #plus when i go to sleep early i also wake up early and omg goes it feel fantastic i feel so much better #ive been waking up an hour earlier than normal all this week so I’m. tired #anyway. it’s 7:10 pm and im about to go to bed #I’ve embraced the old person vibes #my bones are weird i have a small white fluffy hell dog and my back hurts #why not add in going to bed really early #im also looking for funky sweaters but that’s just on the bucket list #anyway #night night! #i’ll see you all tomorrow #my post

[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

White female werewolf x female human?

You remember Rhys Pearson? Well, this is set in the same town, the same universe, etc. His older brother, Nicholas shows up, as a sort of counsellor to help rogue werewolves rehabilitate after being kicked out of their pack.

Some people are born with tornadoes in their lives, but constellations in their eyes. Other people are born with stars at their feet, but their souls are lost at sea. – Nikita Gill

Warning: some mild language and past assault.

The She-Wolf of Water Creak

They spoke of wolves and ghouls, of monsters that lived in men and hide with smiles during the days, revealing themselves to be the beast within when the moon was out and the air was cold. Water Creak thrived with its animals and beasts, and the creatures that lived here bloomed with the existence beneath twilight.

You should’ve known that living in this town was weird, but you had known that there was always something hiding beneath the roses, and secrets laid.

You sighed heavily, sorting Toby the large Great Dane out after his check-up and scan, before putting him into the shelter for the night. You were tired from a full day’s job working at the veterinary practice, your other colleagues had gone home for the day, leaving you to sort out everything and finalize any of the animals that were still staying overnight.

It didn’t take long before you got a text from your closest friend, Nicholas Pearson, the ding from your phone bringing you to look down at your phone for a brief second:

Hey, hope work wasn’t too rough for you. Nick.

You smiled down at your phone, sending off a quick reply back to him; ‘Couldn’t be as difficult for you I doubt?’ 

Aside from growing up as the oldest and living with four younger brothers, Nicholas had the toughest job of working as a rehabilitator and counsellor for people who were kicked out of rough homes and families. You could imagine working with delinquent teenagers could be quite a trouble.

Your phone buzzed beside you again, smiling as you shoved it in your pockets, gathering your things as you locked the doors and headed out into the empty parking lot.

You got into your dinky little rust-bucket, the same one you had been driving and had gotten you through Hell and back; Dahlia was quite the charmer and your love.

The engine roared to life and spluttered once and twice, before stilling to a steady rumble, and you headed out through the darkness with the little guidance of the streetlights to help you and the silver flickerings of the moon.

Driving home alone at night was quite troublesome and on the isolated roads were rather unnerving, but you managed to do it every night to get home; where you wretchedly lived quite far out of the small town and closer into the next one.

Your phone buzzed fleetingly once more, and you looked briefly for two seconds down to see that it was ringing. Damn it, if mama could see me now looking to answer my phone, she would kill me.

You briefly looked back up to meet the road, the clear roads seemed normal at first and normal, and you concentrated hard enough to look on both sides of the roads and forest areas, you hadn’t been able to predict that something would come out so soon. 

Sure, deer were unlucky to get hit sometimes, but this thing was faster and larger, and your eyes had just about adjusted into registering whatever it was dart across onto your side of the road, your foot hitting the brake at the last moment, but you weren’t fast enough in avoiding it, and the large thump and creak your head that came from your car was enough to make you spring forward.

Good thing you were wearing a seatbelt, but still. You came to realise that you had hit something, and judging from the knock against your car, it was quite big.

“Oh shit, oh shit, fuuuuck.” You swung your seatbelt off you, phone in hand as you stopped the car where you were, car door pushing open you stepped out, taking in what you had just accidentally hit. You were able to distinguish the large fluffy white pelt of it, the large body was hiding its head, but your mind was spinning.

Had you hit someone’s lovely dog? You would hate to imagine it, but you stepped around to the back of it, trying to look at it carefully. It was way too big to be a common dog, and you were sure of it-

-Your hands were shaking as you took the phone and could only dial the only person you could assume that could help you in this situation.

With the desired phone number in place and ringing, it didn’t take long for the phone to finally be picked up, the person’s deep rich voice bringing you back to reality.

“Yes, hello?”

“Nick, it’s me, erm, ah shit-- where do I begin?” Your voice gave off a shaky and nervous laugh, trying to stop your fingers from accidentally dropping it. “Whoa, what happened - are you okay?” His voice was immediate to show concern and shock for you. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, not sure if this dog I hit is.” 

There was a brief pause from the other end of the line, and you could hear Nicholas heavily breathing down the mic. “You hit a dog?”

“Yes, well no, but it can’t be a dog, it’s too big—it looks like—like a wolf –”

Nicholas slowly and carefully said your name down the phone, his deep voice grave. “Whatever you do, turn back around and take it back with you to the practice, I’ll meet you there.”

“Wait, Nick, I-“ You heard the end of the line cut out, the buzzing of the phone bring your attention to how lonely and daunting it was being out here. Looking back down at the large creature, you could feel the prang in your heart, the desperation in wanting to know it was okay.

“Okay, big guy, I’m gonna get you back, and you’ll be in good shape.” You murmured in reassurance to yourself, putting your phone in your pocket as you bent down to gently try and touch the fur. Its fur was matted and worn as if it had years of neglect and mishandle; the coat knotted and a faded white from mud and grime.

Poor thing has seen the wars. You dreaded, carefully putting your arms around its large torso, your hands quivered when you could feel through the coat and feel the bones; realising that it was malnourished.

The creature gave no noise when you attempting picking them up: having had the experience of having to pick up much bigger dogs onto the table for check-ups, this one must’ve been the same weight as any other normal dog - which put worry into how badly they needed help.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be okay,” You comforted once they were in the back seat of your car, making sure to get them warm as they rested their large head on the seat; the muzzle bloodied and soaked, their eyes remained closed as if in a heavy sleep, “I hope though.”

You made your way back to the practice in record time: using the back entrance and double-checking that you were still alone. No sign of Nicholas anywhere which got you pondering. You heaved the injured wolf onto the gurney, laying them flat as you rushed to get everything you needed.

One IV drip, a box of first aid and water later and you had gotten it set up, watching with your fingers twiddling, chewing them in silent contemplation, watching over the poor creature. “Where was Nick when you need him?” He thought aloud, your hand coming to get your phone from the table.

Speak of the devil, and he will appear: you hand stopped when you heard the back door trembling and squeak, someone trying to come in when you clearly remember shutting and locking it when you were inside. You would have to apologise for it, but you wanted to work with no disruptions.

You hurried to the door, opening it to see the large man in front of you, towering in the doorframe. Nick had grown to be the tallest still of his brothers and just as muscular as them, from a little boy who was as scrawny as a chicken. His deep amber eyes staring you down as you hesitated with your words. 

“I can explain.” You began.

“You can explain later, right now you’re lucky I’m not calling an ambulance for you.” His voice was a deep timbre, his large arms coming to circle your shoulders, squeezing them, his tall figure lowering so he was more to your height. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, Nicky,” Your face breaking out into a smile, puffing out your chest, “Nothing can take me down.” 

“That’s good, you’re hard as nails, stronger than Rhys that’s for a fact.” Nicholas cracked a broad smile, seeming to recollect, before he head rose, eyes alert as if he had sensed something sour in the air. “Is she here?”

“How do you know it’s a female?” You questioned, moving aside as he powered in, seeming to know on instinct where to find her, you trailing behind him when you had entered the small room; the light flickering as you had looked around to familiarise yourself. 

It seemed... odd for Nicholas to know something like that when you hadn’t told him.

“Where is she?” Nick asked, your eyes trailing to where the large wolf had once been lying on the gurney, now nothing was left as if the wolf had disappeared in a puff of smoke; only remaining the IV drip that had been discarded to the floor.

“She was here, I swear.” Your heart dropped at the thought, a wild animal wandering and prowling in the practice, or maybe had even escaped back into the outside world, but you would’ve been certain you would’ve heard something like a window crash open.

“She didn’t get too far, she’s still here,” Again, another odd comment for someone who wasn't there, but Nick scanned the room with the expertise of a detective, his eyes suddenly widening as he called your name, abruptly grabbing you and pulling you to him with inhumane speed. “Get back!”

You knew without Nick there pulling you out the way you would’ve been possibly hurt, but you had expected something to scamper out from the darkness of the small room. Your eyes thought that you had seen bare flesh, muddied and caked, a figure rushing past you on its hind legs.

“Nick!” You hesitated, feeling the larger man pull you away to the wall as he blocked the entrance with his strong frame, your eyes finally landing on what was scampering in the room. 

You took in their bare flesh, a young woman as naked as the day she had been born standing in the room in a defensive stance, back hunched, as panicked and feral as a stray.

The woman snapped and snarled towards him, her dark hair the same colour as the dirt splattered on her pale skin, hazel enlarged eyes taking in any route of another exit.

“Easy,” Nicholas brought her back to look at him, her head snapping back to the man in the entranceway, a hand coming up to hold her attention, his voice relaxed and calm, “Antonia.”

“Fuck off,” the woman hissed, her voice riddled with paranoia. You had seen this behaviour in nervous dogs; dogs that didn’t want to be in an unknown place when they were afraid. It was even more confusing about how Nick knew her. “I don’t need your help.” 

“You do, you’re confused.” Nicholas consoled her gently, slowly removing his jacket from him, his eyes never leaving her. “You’re injured, please don’t do anything that will worsen your health.”

The woman known as ‘Antonia’ seemed to visibly calm down in her spot, her hunched shoulders relaxing, watching with nervous eyes as Nick handed her his jacket. With no hesitation, she snatched it off him, before quickly putting it on to cover herself.

“Good, good, sit down, you’re safe here.” Nicholas motioned, his eyes landing to you in the back corner of the room, your eyes wide like dinner plates. In his amber eyes, you read the one thing that must’ve been on your mind since this entire hassle.

‘I’ll explain everything, I promise.’

-

You handed the barely dressed female a glass of water, gently putting it on the table she sat on, watching her short legs swinging as stared the two of you down. “So, she’s a wolf?” Your voice gradually came back to you when you could finally speak.

“A werewolf, yeah-- our kind has lived in these areas for a few hundred years,” Nicholas explained sparingly, and when you turned to him, you gave him a quizzical look. “Our? Which means-”

“I’m a werewolf.” He confessed, looking over your reactions as you looked back over Antonia. “My job is to rehabilitate rogue wolves who have been rejected by their pack.”

Nicholas looked to you, gauging your reaction through your facial expressions. “Say something at least.”

“What is there to say, really? You turn into a big wolf every full moon when I thought all of that was just scary fairy tales that I read when I was a kid.” You sighed. “Nicky, why did you never tell me?”

“I didn’t want to scare you or you think I was mad.” His voice resounded in his throat, moving his eyes dejected. “You’re my friend, and I didn’t want that to go away.”

“Hey, you’re my friend, and you will always be my friend, no matter if you’re a werewolf or human,” you cracked a smile, chortling to yourself, “maybe the big bad wolf should be your new nickname.”

“Oh please.” Nick was next to laugh over the silence. When you finally looked back over to him, your mind wandered back to the rejected wolf. “What do we do with her?”

“She’ll need somewhere to stay for a while, whilst I find her a new pack or somewhere to live momentarily.” Nick sighed to himself as if already knowing something you didn’t. “Which comes the next thing that you will hate.”

You crossed your eyes over your chest, dreading the question that would be asked for you. “You want me to look after her?”

“Look, it won’t be for long, just until I find her a good place to live, somewhere that will keep her safe and she will be wanted.” He pleaded, “It won’t be for long, I promise, and I’ll make it up to you after.”

Your bottom lip came out in thought, sighing in defeat as you knew you couldn’t say no to him. “You owe me ice cream. Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough, got it?”

“Yes ma’am.” Nicholas grinned, welcoming you into a tight hug. “Thank you--- you make this easier for me.”

-

The door to your small house swung open, your new roommate came bounding in with excited curiosity, sniffing around the new place she would be staying in. You, on the other hand, had heaps of shopping and new clothes you had just bought for Antonia, your arms failing to hold everything up.

“Okay, the bathroom is on the right, you can have the couch, it becomes a sofa bed, Nick said-- hey, don’t touch that!” You threw the bags to the kitchen counter, glaring over at the brunette, “Toni, are you listening?”

Antonia seemed to drop what seemed to be your Alexa with a clunk to the floor, luckily it had been carpet down to lessen the blow, as she trained her eyes on you once more, “What did you call me?” Her hazel eyes were wide with keenness.  

“Ah crap, no I didn’t realise, I’m sorry, it’s only because I don’t know many Antonia’s—and I thought Toni was a cute nickname –”

“– No, don’t worry about it,” The she-wolf gave a small smile to herself, and you could’ve sworn her cheeks had deepened into a flush pink, “I like it.”

Antonia had spent a couple more weeks with you, feeding her seemed to be a nightmare (for a girl her size, she ate twice as much as you, thrice more if a wolf, especially when raiding the bins) and bringing her back to her normal weight – which fortunately didn’t take too long.

Her skin was flush with colour, her deep brown hair became full of life, her eyes did too when you got to open her up little by little, each day being a step to progress and learning more about her. There was little to know about her previous life in a pack, but you were sure that you would accidentally do something to provoke her.

You laid out a blanket in the abyss of your garden, the sparkling golden fairy lights brought the area to feel whimsical and full of wonder; the flush plaid blanket kept your bare legs warm in the cool air, waiting.

The silver moon was once again out, full and brighter as a silver coin; a full moon, and you were waiting patiently.

“I knew I could find you here.” The voice of Toni brought your attention on her as she appeared through the small trail of brushes and flowers slowly, treading barefoot to come to you bare as the day she had been when you first saw her. You had been courteous to not look at her body; the shape she had built although she was still quite lithe.

“Thought I could spare you some time out here.” You threw over your own t-shirt long enough that you slept in it to her, hearing the crumpling of it go over her head as she came to sit down beside you. From this light, her skin glowed beneath the moon, her eyes hauntingly beautiful.

“It’s nice out here.” You breathed in the fresh smell of moss and yellow wood. “Not the same as running barefoot across it, now that’s the best feeling in the world.” Toni stretched out before you like a cat beneath the sun rays, and it made you ponder what it would be like owning the small animal, living together.

“Toni—there is something I wanted to ask you.” Your mouth was dry from the apple cider you had laid out before the two of you; it must’ve gone to my head.

“What is it?” She asked peacefully, turning to look back on you. From her eyes alone, you thought you could’ve melted. “Nick called me today, he told me… he said that he found you a place, a place of your own for a community to live among.” You forced a smile onto your lips, wanting to believe she would be better off without you. “How amazing is that?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess so.” Her voice lingered, and you looked back on her puzzled. “What’s wrong? Is it not what you want?”

“I lived all my life in a pack relying on people when they didn’t want me. A bitch from the Seventh Hell, Rogue She-Wolf-- I was an outsider, never truly belonging with anyone. I’m done living with a pack, done with never feeling wanted when all I wanted was to live alone.” Her words were calm with how she responded, but you knew deep down, they hurt.

“What happened in your old pack, Toni? What did they do?”

Toni gave a chortle, nonchalantly looking to the ground as she picked at the weeds. “My parents thought they could marry me off to the Alpha- a big brute of one who was more of a monster than man. I declined the offer, but it must’ve pissed him off to of been the one rejected, so, he got some of his friends to come to find me, and well...” her hand came to restlessly play with her hair, her words drying, “They weren’t good with me, nor did they stop when I begged for them-- pleaded with them.”

Your immediate response was to circle an arm around her, bringing her close to you as you hugged her close. “You will never be treated like that again, I promise.”

“That’s the thing, wherever I go, to this place or if I go back, they’ll always be someone like them waiting to latch themselves onto me.” A wrack of a sob went through her, and you coddled her how a mother would calm their child.

“I don’t want to go.” Her voice was a mere whisper.

You were quick to ask, too quick to think about it. “What about here? Why not stay here? Unless you have grown bored of me.”

Toni gave a sad laugh, coming close as she raised her head, landing her soft lips against your cheek. You stared down at her, astonished, your cheeks blushing. “You’ve always been so kind to me and I don’t understand why. So many times I have believed you were annoyed with and never once did you send me off.” She said your name in a soft murmur. “Thank you.”

The two of you looked at one another, and never did you realise how close she was to you, her faint breath a gentle kiss against your face, and when you looked down to her lips with a sheepish look, she leant closer into you.

She looked nervously back to you briefly, as if hesitant. “You and Nick aren’t-”

You cottoned on to her words. “Oh God no.” You laughed brightly. “And besides, there’s this half-elf who he sees around that he doesn’t have the balls to ask out. But I always try to get him to - Mmph!”

Antonia had leant close to you with her hand cradling the side of your face, pulling you to her as she pressed her lips to ours, reassured and growing confidence. You brought your hands to go around her waist, feeling her soft skin as you squeezed at her hips.

You pulled away with a gasp, and the knowing smirk from Toni, her bright grin was enough to bring the two of you to start giggling, enclosed by the peaceful nightfall.

You didn’t need to be reminded that she would leave, not in a very long time anyway. And besides, she had you now.

#werewolf oc #werewolf girlfriend #f/f monster #f/f fic #monster girlfriend #modern au #monster story #shared universe #werewolf female #werewolf #female werewolf x human reader #female monster x female reader #human x werewolf #female human reader x female werewolf #exophilia #monster exophilia #werewolf exophilia #female monster #Female reader #rhys the werewolf #rhys pearson #nicholas pearson #water creak #female werewolf #she-wolf werewolf #wlw #wlw story #sapphic exophilia

[kbstories]

Axiomatic

ax·i·om·at·ic (adj.)

Self-evident; unquestionable.

The best part of battle is the afterparty.

(Or: Remember that banquet Luffy promised? This is it.)

Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Partying

Set in Wano. Spoilers for all of Wano. Read Chapter 2 here.

***

“What do you think?”

Lipstick glides over thin lips, the wax malleable and smooth as it leaves a coat of rusty red in its wake. Killer makes sure it’s perfectly even before he glances elsewhere. In the mirror, Kidd’s face is all scowled impatience.

One last run-down – eyeliner, mascara, lipstick: done, done and done – then Killer grabs the mask waiting for him. “Alright, let me see.”

Their eyes meet and Killer sighs. Metal over skin-and-bone, Kidd’s arms are crossed; his shaved brows push together further. As if Killer doesn’t indulge his every whim by the regular.

“I’m looking. Show me again.”

Kidd grumbles, “Watch.” He opens his arms, reveals an unbuttoned shirt tucked into his favorite patterned pants, glinting gold over black under a double-belted cinch at the waist. So far, so very Kidd.

No, the point of discussion is the frankly massive coat slung across his neck: Nice soft-looking suede on the outside and glossy-grey fur on the inside, it hugs Kidd’s shoulders in all the right places to then cascade down his back in a display of near-ridiculous opulence.

Extravagant, over-the-top, flashy. It’s hard to tell which type of animal had to die for this. There must be a lot less of ‘em now, with this monstrosity in the world.

Kidd is swiveling it back and forth with critical glances to the mirror, the coat wooshing with the motions. Killer takes in the fluid glide of fur over Kidd’s exposed chest, the contrast of impeccable couture against jagged scars. Loses himself for a moment or two imagining how it would feel like to run his hands over both.

An appreciative hum. In Killer’s educated opinion, Kidd looks damn near sinful.

“Yeah?”, Kidd asks and Killer nods. “Yeah. Heh, told ya the detour’s worth it.”

Perhaps it was, although sifting through Onigashima’s treasury whilst bleeding all over heaps of shiny expensive everything might’ve been a case of skewed priorities. There’s no need to talk about what-could-have-beens, though – they’re here, they’re rich and they’re long overdue at Strawhat’s banquet.

Killer’s practically done, tight jeans under a shirt that’s done up to the third button and left to flare open otherwise. It’s not his old favorite (that one stopped fitting him a good year ago) but similar enough, patterned in geometric black-and-white shapes. Definitely one of his fancier ones, not that anyone will care one way or the other where they’re going.

It’s… been a while since it’s been anyone other than them and their crew. Pirates are pirates, allied or no; Killer eyes the scythes neatly stored next to the bed.

Kidd is touching up his lips one last time, the same shade as Killer’s. “Bring ‘em. That Roronoa guy keeps throwing you weird looks and I’m not allowed to kill him.”

Yet goes implied. Killer isn’t wearing his mask and so he doesn’t roll his eyes. “He’s got every reason to”, he reminds his captain, focusing on the heavy clasps of his weapons to keep the memories at bay. The red mark on his chest stings, stuck in the limbo between a healing wound and a fresh scar for a few days still.

A testament to his failure that Killer won’t hide. If Zoro hadn’t stopped him that day his hands would be stained with blood that cannot be washed off, not entirely.

Kidd’s eyes are on him, dark. “I don’t care.”

Resentful as always. Killer reaches for him, digs his fingers into the fluffy lining of that coat and oh, the fur is as soft as it looks. “I do, though.” A firm tug, one Kidd follows until Killer can kiss him, careful not to smudge anything.

“No killing of allies today, ‘kay? We just came back from a war. The crew’s tired. I’m tired.”

“Mh” is all Kidd has to say to that, a grumpy huff against Killer’s lips more than anything. Kidd does give him a proper kiss, however, and Killer knows he won this one.

All he can ask of Kidd is to try, anyways – with two equally hot-headed captains and a whole host of morons around to rile him up, there’s bound to be blood eventually. The trick is to make sure everyone’s drunk enough not to take it too personally.

A pinch to his ass tells Killer he was caught scheming. Kidd smirks, tells him, “We’re getting wasted tonight”, all triumphant like it’s the best idea he’s had all week, and Killer doesn’t miss the emphasis on we.

“Two Emperors down! Strawhat better bring the good stuff tonight or this alliance is over.”

Killer groans, “Kidd”, but he’s smiling, too. Before he can be called out on it, Killer shoves his mask into Kidd’s hands, metal clanking against metal. “Make yourself useful. We’re late.”

Kidd’s laugh is more of a cackle than anything else – “Yes, darling”, said in that sarcastic lilt Killer knows all too well – yet Kidd complies. His hands, organic or otherwise, handle the mask they’ve built with care and precision. Soon, Killer’s vision is narrowed down to dots, the audio filter of his helmet kicking in soon after.

Killer rolls his neck and hums, satisfied. “Ready?”

Kidd throws a final look at himself in the mirror, grinning into the collar of his new coat.

“Hell yeah. Let’s go.”

*

The banquet is a sprawling, messy affair that swallows the entirety of the ramshackle village the Strawhats picked as their home in Wano Country.

From the moment the Kidd Pirates get there they are surrounded. Wherever Killer's eyes roam there are knots of people drinking, eating, laughing and crying, sometimes simultaneously – there, at the heart of it all where the crowd is thickest, burns the largest bonfire Killer has seen in a while, perhaps ever. Smiling faces all around and for once, it doesn’t make Killer’s stomach drop because they’re genuine.

Survivors of SMILE just like him, caught in the rush of real emotions for the first time in who knows how long. Killer has a pretty good idea how that feels like.

Next to him, Kidd is so tense he’s stalking, gaze intense, oozing Haki to keep people away; Wire’s hand is clenched to bloodlessness around his trident while Heat exhales a bit of smoke with every breath and yeah, Killer gets it. Can’t help it himself, either, scythes kept close to his sides to make sure they’re there.

The thing is: They don’t do these kinds of things. Parties, yes, many and often but not like this. Killer can count on one hand the amounts of times the population of any island was actually happy to see them, much less willing to send them off with one big feast.

Actually, he wouldn’t need to count at all because it’s simply never happened. Even filtered by his mask it’s… a lot to take in at once.

The entire damn country is here, it seems, all breathing a collective sigh of relief so monumental the air itself carries their joy. For all that the Kidd Pirates were in this for revenge and glory, Killer can’t deny it’s rewarding to see a nation so ravaged by an Emperor’s greed do whatever they want for the first time in decades.

Finally, a few familiar faces start popping up. Some of the samurai greet them with nods of their heads, overly formal like the people from Wano tend to be; here and there they spot the distinctly branded yukata the members of Trafalgar’s crew are wearing and, rarer but all the more noticeable, those animal people Strawhat dragged along from somewhere.

Minks? Or something? Killer is inclined to say it doesn’t matter if they didn’t have the habit to jump on them out of fucking nowhere. Looking for bone-crushing hugs and wet-nosed kisses, of all things, and– Oh no, he did not sign up for this.

Much less for whatever that group of cat minks are gearing up to, staring at the holes in his mask with eyes nearly swallowed by black, round pupils. Killer is absolutely, solidly convinced he doesn’t even want to know what that’s all about.

“Captain.”

And yeah, his tone is a little more alarmed than he truly means it to be. It gets Kidd’s attention, though – himself having fought off a dog mink enamored with his metal arm not too long ago – and he barks a laugh even when he ramps up his presence to an almost stifling degree.

“C’mon, I feel Strawhat up ahead.”

To nobody’s surprise, they find him smack dab in the middle of everything. Strawhat and his crew are lounging around the bonfire, there’s no other way to describe it: All broad smiles and flushed faces amidst the chaos, completely in their element, and it’s hard to tell if it’s the closeness to the bonfire or the vaguely impressive amounts of empty bottles lying around already. They’re certainly boisterous enough for it to be the latter, even Jinbei.

And no, Killer hasn’t quite processed that turn of events yet. The strangeness of seeing someone of that caliber wheeze into his mug with laughter as his (new?) captain takes a disturbingly big bite out of an even bigger chunk of meat is… not helping things, in that regard.

What a bunch of weirdos. In the safety of his mask, Killer allows himself a small smile.

From here the flames seem to reach for the sky, tinged in warm pinks and oranges by the sinking sun and there, very faintly, Killer can make out the first stars. He can’t remember ever seeing them, not with the factories running over night as well.

“Spikey!!”

Ah. Killer’s head turns with Kidd’s and it’s a good thing, too, because there’s a stretched arm coming for his captain – Kidd bites out, “Nope, no, Strawhat”, red eyes going wide – and Killer manages to side-step it in the last possible second. One, twice it wraps around Kidd, fancy coat and all, and then the rubber recoils.

“Killer!”

Oh my, Killer thinks mildly as he watches him go. Behind him, half their crew is flabbergasted and the other half is in stitches. “Captain’s gonna be in such a mood”, Heat says to Wire, and it just sends them into another fit of chuckles.

For Killer, finding a drink becomes his top priority. So much for keeping things peaceful.

>>Chapter 2.

#one piece #eustass kid #killer one piece #kidkiller #fanfiction #one piece fanfiction #this is a setup for smut in chapter 2 ngl #(i just got carried away as per usual) #this fic is also on AO3!! #my stuff #one piece spoilers

[meganshinsou-tm]

Zoo Day. (f)

☙ pairing: shouto x reiji*, dabi x reiji*

☙ theme: shared walls universe

☙  cw/tw: profanity, fluff, reiji todoroki*, dabi kidnapping his little buddy, domestic shouto, shouto and dabi bonding

☙  a/n-request:  one of the ideas i received last night when i asked for some fluffy shouto and reiji prompts to write! 

Shouto ran from room to room, gathering items like a squirrel gathering nuts. He was all over the place, a bag on each arm, one even around his neck. Things could be heard being shuffled around, frustrated grunts and quiet cheers of success.

“Snacks, wipes, pull-ups, extra set of clothes - hmmm. Where is that Gang Orca?”

Wandering around Reiji’s room, Shouto sought out the small plush toy his son couldn’t go anywhere without. When he finally found it he checked all the bags he had over again, Gang Orca’s fin hanging between his teeth. Each bag had what it needed - all three of them. 

Today was the hero’s day to keep Reiji on his own. He was off of work and Fuyumi dragged you off to go have a girls day together. At first you felt bad about leaving Shouto with Reiji on his own. Shouto was a great father of course, he was amazing! He … was just clueless sometimes. Maybe a little overprepared and anal here and there. But nonetheless those quirky little things made Shouto an absolutely perfect father! 

Reiji was loved so much by his father and that was all that mattered. 

After Shouto was satisfied with the bags he packed, he stood in the hallway thinking to himself. It felt like he was missing something - something important.

“Oh yeah - the kid!”

Shouto walked about your shared home looking around for that little mop of red hair. When he heard a familiar giggle and squeal, Shouto smiled and made his way to the playroom. With Gang Orca in hand, the hero poked his head into the room.

“Time to go to the dent - what the hell!”

Another giggle sounded off, along with a familiar chuckle and before Shouto knew it, his son was waving him goodbye while being bounced in heavily burned arms - right out the fucking window! 

“Bye-bye daddy!” Reiji smiled.

Shouto narrowed his eyes and quickly ran to the window seal, ice shooting from his palm and out to encase the kidnappers feet.

“Dabi what the fu - fudge do you think you’re doing with my kid?”

The villain turned what he could of his body around to face Shouto and shrugged.

“What kid?”

Reiji, now happily sitting on Dabi’s shoulders, continued to giggle just before sneezing into the mans black hair. Dabi cringed and gently pinched a chubby leg.

“Oh this kid - uh, I was bored and decided to take him to the zoo.”

Shouto barked out a sarcastic laugh.

“We’ve already discussed this, you can’t just take my kid whenever you’re bored! And stop breaking in, just knock on the front door like a regular person please?”

Dabi grinned and waited for Shouto to shuck off the bags from his body and to jump out of the window to go over and unfreeze him. 

“I gotta keep up my reputation somehow Shouto, I’m still a criminal,” he replied while removing Reiji from his shoulders and holding him in the air to airplane him around the area where they stood, “Even if I do play Mrs.Doubtfire for your ass here and there.”

Shouto shook his head, casually playing along with the two and tickling his son when Dabi would playfully lunge Reiji in his direction.

“Okay - so let me ask you this then. How exactly did you expect to successfully take my son to the zoo - Mr. Criminal who is very recognizable?”

At this Dabi stopped, Reiji being held upside down by his little ankles and giggling.

“So I didn’t think that far - thinking isn’t usually my part of the job. Now let me ask you a question. Why the fuck do you need three bags - you’re going to the dentist, not on vacation!”

Shouto shrugged now, holding Reiji by his arms, the two men now swinging him in between them. 

“I just wanted to be prepared, you never - how do you know we’re going to the dentist?”

“It’s my job to know these things. “

Rolling his eyes, Shouto finally took Reiji from Dabi and held him on his hip.

The toddler poked at his cheek, blowing raspberries and babbling his baby nonsense. Shouto looked at his son with a soft smile, nodding and humming at him in response. Reiji was only three going on four, so he didn’t know too much speech, not enough to really form sentences. 

“Daddy, go to zoo too?”

“No - daddy and Reiji go to dentist.”

Now Reiji was nearly squirming out of Shouto’s hold, whining to go back to ‘Dab-Dab’.

“I know buddy, your father here is the real criminal huh - we just wanted to go see the lions!”

Shouto sighed and begrudgingly handed the toddler over to the other man. Tired of being outside, he finally invited Dabi back into the house - using the back door instead of the window. Once inside, the men went to the kitchen. Both of them grabbed a drink, Shouto grabbing a carton of banana milk for Reiji and tossing it to Dabi as he sat down at the counter with the happy kid.

“Well, even if I left right now, we would be late for his appointment and they would make us reschedule. So if I were you I’d bring food next time you decide to come over if you wanna get back on her good side because I’m totally throwing you under the bus for this.”

Dabi chuckled and sat back in his seat, bouncing Reiji on his knee while he drank his milk.

“Yeah yeah, so does that mean I can take him to the zoo?”

“Zoo! Zoo! I see wions daddy - rawr!” Reiji shouted with excitement, holding up his little hands to make paws.

Shouto quirked a brow, leaning back against the counter and crossed his arms.

“Look - I don’t know Dabi. Not everyone is aware of your double life here.”

Dabi hung his head back with a groan. He sighed after and looked at Reiji, lowering his face to the toddlers and cupping a hand around his ear. Shouto watched - knowing that whatever the patchwork man was telling his son, most definitely wasn’t good. Soon enough, turquoise and mismatched eyes were looking at him, two sets of lips jutted in pathetic pouts and they both put their hands together.

“Please daddy, I wanna see the wions!” 

Next was Dabi’s turn.

“I just wanna take my little dude to see the wions!”

Shouto sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. Dabi looked like a total fucking idiot but … he couldn’t deny his own kid. Reiji was a pro at the puppy dog eyes and getting his way. The kid knew he had Shouto wrapped around his tiny finger, and maybe that was mostly thanks to fucking Dabi always using his own son agaisnt him. So finally after trying to bluff, Shouto groaned and shook his head.

“Fine - fine! But we have to do something about your appearance Dabi, people know who you are.”

“Okay then, what do you suggest?”

Shouto took a moment to think, crossing his arms again and rubbing his left temple with his fingertip. There had to be someway to allow Dabi to go out in public. A surgical mask wouldn’t hide all of his burns and wrapping him up like a mummy would be just weird. When Shouto scratched at his own burn, an idea suddenly popped into his head. Mulling it over, he then smiled at Dabi.

“I think I know what we can do. But - you’ll truly have to pull a Mrs.Doubtfire.”

Reiji was occupied with squashing his milk carton with his Ground Zero action figure, small shouts of ‘die, die’ here and there. Dabi looked at Shouto and scratched the back of his neck.

“Whatever it is - I’m not wearing fake tits!”

“Alright - I’m done. It only took us an hour but, I think this will work.”

Dabi sighed, leaning his head side to side to crack the tired bones in his neck after sitting on a stool for so long and not being able to move. Once Shouto stepped away from him and told him to check out his handiwork, Dabi rolled his eyes but did as told. When he did and looked into the mirror, there was no stopping the widening of his eyes and the small jump he might of done.

“Holy shit!”

There were no more burns, no more patchwork patterns on his face or ears. Now his skin was an all over even shade. Even his staples were expertly hidden under the makeup. And instead of wearing his usual low-cut white shirt, Dabi wore one of Shouto’s sweaters, hiding the burns that covered his chest and arms. Make-up also covered Dabi’s hands, up to his wrists. There was no way anyone in public would recognize him now, hell he couldn’t even recognize himself!

“Where the hell did you learn to do this?”

Shouto hummed while he cleaned up the bathroom counter. 

“Fuyumi,” he started while wetting a rag so he could wipe the lipstick spiraling all over Reiji’s face. “Way back when I hated my scar, she taught me how to make it go away. Yours aren’t much different from mine, just more severe so it only took more makeup. Which by the way, you owe my wife - you owe her a new tube of this lipstick too.”

Dabi chuckled and took the tube from Shouto that was taken away from Reiji. He decided to help out with the clean-up and finished wiping Reiji’s cheeks and his hands.

“Hate to break it to ya kid but I don’t think this is your color.”

Reiji giggled and threw his little arms around Dabi’s neck, hugging him close when Dabi lifted him off the counter and the group made their way out of the bathroom. 

“Go to zoo now?” The toddler asked, rubbing his eye with a small hand and yawning.

Shouto chuckled and went to grab his son. He held him close, letting Reiji curl into and cuddle him, resting a pink chubby cheek to his chest and holding his Gang Orca close. Shouto placed a kiss to his head and combed fingers through his red hair.

“Mhm. You’re gonna get a nice nap on the way there and when you wake up - we’ll see the lions!”

Reiji let out a quiet ‘wions’ and both the older men smiled. Shouto gently rubbed his sons back as he slowly started to fall asleep. 

“Hey Dabi, do you mind getting his bags and I’ll meet you outside so I can put him in his car-seat?”

Dabi nodded and Shouto quietly thanked him before turning away and going to walk out the door. He was stopped though when Dabi called out to him. Stopping in his tracks, Shouto turned to see what the other man needed. Standing there, Dabi looked at the ground, one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Uh - thanks. You know … for …”

Shouto smirked and shrugged.

“It’s no problem, it's the least I can do - I owe a lot to you. Just next time you have a wild hair up your ass and decide to jump out the window with my kid … don’t? Like I said knock on the door, or fuck, knock on the window, I’ll open it for you!”

A genuine laugh left Dabi’s lips, “I’ll try.”

#shouto todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reiji todoroki #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha oc #mha oc #oc child #reiji todoroki #dabi #fluff #wholesome #clueless shouto #domestic shouto #dad shouto #bnha x reader #mha x reader

[kurokoros]

american dragon

“So what you’re saying,” Sweet Pea starts skeptically, crossing his arms and glancing between his grandparents and mother, who watch him carefully, “is that I’m turning into a giant lizard?” He exhales slowly. “Gramps, did you put anything funny in your tea again?”

Grandpa Ju-Long whacks him on the thigh with his cane and Sweet Pea yelps in surprise. “Dragon,” the old man corrects him, clearly unamused. Sweet Pea frowns, rubbing his leg, but waits for his elder to finish. Ju-Long purses his lips, brows furrowing as he strokes his long, white beard. “You are the next Yuan Dragon.” Grandpa doesn’t look particularly pleased by that, though, he never looks particularly pleased by anything.

AN: A short fic for the @southsidearchive Weekly AU: Dragons. This one is based on the cartoon American Dragon: Jake Long! I’m open to continuing this if anyone is interested! Full one-shot (1.1K) below the cut!

The silence that lingers between the four of them is tense, his family staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to come to terms with everything they’ve explained over the last hour. They closed the Jade Dragon immediately when they saw the pale, discolored patch of skin peeking out above the collar of his shirt, even though it was the middle of the day and Grandpa Ju-Long doesn’t close the shop for anything. And that wasn’t even the most surprising part. Sweet Pea wasn’t expecting it the long sit-down that felt almost like an intervention. And he certainly wasn’t expecting them to tell him all of this.

“So what you’re saying,” Sweet Pea starts skeptically, crossing his arms and glancing between his grandparents and mother, who watch him carefully, “is that I’m turning into a giant lizard?” He exhales slowly. “Gramps, did you put anything funny in your tea again?”

Grandpa Ju-Long whacks him on the thigh with his cane and Sweet Pea yelps in surprise. “Dragon,” the old man corrects him, clearly unamused. Sweet Pea frowns, rubbing his leg, but waits for his elder to finish. Ju-Long purses his lips, brows furrowing as he strokes his long, white beard. “You are the next Yuan Dragon.” Grandpa doesn’t look particularly pleased by that, though, he never looks particularly pleased by anything.

Sweet Pea nods slowly, trying to wrap his head around everything he’s been told so far. “And I’m just supposed to believe that?” he asks. “You want me to believe I’m turning into a big, scaly dragon?” It sounds ridiculous, even to him, and Sweet Pea has seen a lot of bizarre shit since he was a kid. Growing up in New York will do that. And Grandpa Ju-Long has always been a little strange, but Sweet Pea has always chalked that up to growing up back in China.

The weird, scaly skin on Sweet Pea’s back is probably just a rash from working in the garage all week. And the perfect vision even at night is just because he ate his vegetables while growing up like a good child. There’s nothing weird or supernatural about it.

The breathing fire thing is a little harder to explain, but he’s still not convinced that wasn’t just the edibles.

“Yes, Jin,” Grandma Ying Yue tells him, ever the patient one. This entire time she’s been quiet, watching him carefully and gauging his reaction. The gift isn’t from her side of the family, but she’s known about it for decades now, keeping the secret just like the Yuan family has for centuries. She offers her grandson a small, gentle smile, expression sincere. “It is very important that you do. Becoming the Yuan Dragon is a great honor.” Her hands fold delicately across her lap. “You should be very proud that is has chosen you.”

He rubs his hand across his mouth, letting it sink in slowly what his family is telling him. If there’s one thing he knows, it’s that his grandparents would never lie to him or joke about something like this. Though, he almost wishes they would. But Grandpa Ju-Long doesn’t have a funny bone in his body, and this would be an elaborate prank.

Okay, fuck, apparently he’s a dragon.

And suddenly things start to make sense. The Jade Dragon. The amulet his grandfather always wears. How hushed they all used to become when he was younger, like he was walking in on a secret. Apparently, he had been.

Sweet Pea turns to his mother. “Do you turn into a flying lizard, too?” Grandpa Ju-Long makes a low, disapproving noise at his choice of words, but Sweet Pea ignores him, gaze firmly on his mother. If she’s been hiding that from him for the last twenty years, he’ll be impressed.

Mei Hua shakes her head. “It skipped my generation,” she explains to him. “I never transformed the way you will. The way most of our family has.” Her expression becomes melancholic and he nods slowly, fiddling with the bracelet around his wrist.

“We thought it would skip yours, too,” Ju-Long tells him, his fingers tapping against the side of his cane rhythmically. “You are a late bloomer. You should have showed signs years ago.” He looks Sweet Pea up and down slowly, nodding to himself. “We will have to begin your training immediately.” The old man rises from his seat and sighs. “But now, we have tea.”

His eyes narrow. “Training?” Sweet Pea calls after his grandfather. “Training for what?” As usual, he doesn’t get a response. He turns to his mother and grandmother instead, but they only shake their heads, offering him no further explanation. Sweet Pea sighs again, his head dropping back to rest against the wall. For a second, he closes his eyes, just letting the absurdity of it all sink in. “Cool,” Sweet Pea says eventually, cracking open his eyes. “Anything else I should know?” Things can’t possibly get any weirder.

His mother nods towards the old, white Chow Chow sleeping beside her on the couch, legs twitching as he snores obnoxiously. “Bai is over one hundred years old,” she tells him, running her fingers through the dog’s fluffy fur. “And he can talk.”

Sweet Pea nods slowly. “Of course he can.” Sweet Pea shoves away from the wall he was leaning against and glances at his family again. “Okay, well, good talk.” He offers them a tight smile before grabbing his jacket and heading for the door.

“Jin, where are you going?” his mother calls after him, standing from her chair. She frowns when he doesn’t stop, but Sweet Pea doesn’t look back.

He fishes his keys out of his pocket. “I’m going to go scream on the roof,” he calls back to them, unlocking the door. The apartment feels more suffocating than it ever has before, and he needs to not be here right now. How the hell is he going to explain all of this to Fangs and Toni?

Grandma Yue smiles and waves at his retreating form. “Have fun!”

The doors slams shut with a little more force than he intended and he winces, knowing his mother won’t be happy about that. The hot, afternoon air wraps around him and Sweet Pea squeezes his eyes shut, losing himself in the familiar noise of the city around him.

When forces his eyes open again, they’re burning gold. He runs his hand through his hair in frustration, and the sigh that slips from him creates a flame. It licks at his fingers and he gasps, jolting backwards and slamming into the brick wall at his back.

It takes a minute for his heart to slow again.

“Holy shit,” he murmurs, “I’m the American Dragon.”

#riverdale #sweet pea #sweet pea imagine #serpentcentral #daily prompts #weekly aus

[taekookieah]

Memories

Authors Note: This story is one that I hold close to me. It is one that I found that I needed to write for me and to let my emotions flow. I wanted a story that held some weight to it but also had some light fun in it too.  So if you end up reading this story I thank you and hope you enjoy yourself.  I am always open for any constructive feedback as I am still learning as a new writer.  Thank you and enjoy.  Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drug consumption, Sex scenes, Emotional damage.  I will put warnings at the beginning of each chapter in case there are things you do not want to read. They are mild but I do not want to upset anyone xx 

Prologue

Morning. Riley slowly blinks her eyes open, squinting as the light coming through the small opening in the curtains blind her. Yawning as she stretches her arms above her head, Riley rolls around in her bed as she feels her tense muscles stretch and her bones pop and crack with every move. It’s peaceful in her room as she lays back down with a sigh, running through her foggy brain as to what her schedule is for the day.

A loud thud and a slight curse come right outside her bedroom door causing Riley to take a deep breath in to welcome the chaos in three, two, one…

Her door swings open without even a knock on the door. The young man whom so rudely interrupted her peaceful rest stands in her doorway, only wearing a baggy pair of grey sweats that hang low on his hips.

Riley was used to the boy’s weird shenanigans so it came to no surprise that he casually flings himself on top of her, arms crossed on her stomach and chin resting on his folded arms.

“Hey Riley would you like to—”

“Nope” Riley pushes him off the bed and rolls over, dragging her blanket over her head to block out any unnecessary noise coming from her friend.

“But you don’t even know what it is” the boy grunts as he climbs back on the bed and spoons Riley, pulling her burrito form into him.

“Knowing you it’s something potentially illegal or embarrassing and I’m not about to go through a traumatic experience” Riley jabs her elbow into his stomach but he doesn’t budge. Stupid Taehyung and his god damn abs…

“I swear it’s nothing embarrassing, and it’s something I think you’ll really enjoy” Taehyung snuggles in closer, arms wrapping comfortably around Riley’s middle.

Riley sighs knowing what Taehyung is like. He’s stubborn as hell, persistent and will not give up until he gets what he wants. It’s the reason why he is as successful as he is but man it can be hell to have to deal with this brat.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeease, just here me out” Riley can feel the puppy dog eyes before she even sees them. Riley gives in and slowly turns her body around so she is facing Taehyung.

This close she can see just how picture-perfect Taehyung really is. His hair is a light brown which almost turns golden in the sunlight. His eyes are soft but have a deep intensity about them, his jawline could cut diamonds and his lips look so soft. A shame that he is super gay but Riley shouldn’t complain as even the thought of dating the man in her bed makes her shiver in disgust. Riley loves him dearly, but good lord this kid is clingy.

“What is it?” Riley regrets the words leaving her mouth but she knows it’s the only way for Taehyung to get out of bed, the sooner the better.

“God your breath stinks” Taehyung scrunches up his face in disgust.

“I just woke up, deal with it” Riley breathes heavily, deliberately blowing hot air into his face.

“Ew gross stop!!” Taehyung pokes at Riley to stop which she eventually does.

“That’s what you get for disturbing me this early in the morning” Riley states as she covers her mouth with the blanket knowing that Taehyung won’t stop complaining unless she gets up and brushes her teeth which she is in no state to do so because that requires effort.  

“I’ve got a friend who runs an arts studio and has offered me, and a plus one,” Taehyung winks and does some weird finger gun action. “to come and try out their art classes for free”

“And let me guess, all you have to do is some instagram promotional photo and tada free goodies?” Riley asks as she finally pushes herself up into a sitting position, crossing her legs to face her friend who rolls onto his back and folds his hands behind his head, flexing his abs because that’s the type of tease he is with everyone.

“Bingo bongo, so you in?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow, already knowing the answer.

“I’ll go” Riley sighs out heavily in defeat making Taehyung jump out of the bed in triumph but Riley stops him just before he exits the room.

“On one condition” Riley calls out as she swings her legs off the bed and stands up.

“Leave me out of any photos or videos while we are there” Riley waves her hand as she begins to look through her drawers for some comfortable clothing.

“Oh sweetie, don’t you worry, you’re not exactly model material anyway” Taehyung states as he bolts down the hallway.

“Why you little—” Riley turns and chases Taehyung down the stairs and into the lounge area, past the kitchen where the smell of bacon and eggs are being freshly cooked.

“PausepausepausepauseRILEYISAIDPAUSE” Taehyung screams as Riley tackles him to the ground, tickling his underarms and sides as she pins him down with her legs either side of his hips.

“Oh, I don’t think so” Riley giggles herself as she continues her assault.

The two tumble about on the ground and eventually Riley stops, only when she noticed a figure standing a few feet away.

“Good morning kids, did you sleep well?” a gentle voice calls out making the pair stop their antics and look towards the man standing next to them, an apron hugging his slim frame.

The man is small and only a few inches taller than Riley. His build is strong but his face is soft and sweet, one that grabs everyone’s attention wherever he goes. His silver hair is styled up so his fringe is out of his eyes but has a natural look to it despite the abnormal colour. His ears are pierced with a few silver earring’s, some studs and others long chains that move with every slight twitch.

“Jiminie!” Taehyung calls out in glee, arms reaching out towards the man but Riley just shoves at Taehyung’s chest making him fall back down onto the fluffy rug. Riley huffs as she pushes herself up onto her feet, a slight sheen of sweat built up on her forehead.

“Morning Jimin” Riley gives the boy a sweet smile and a big hug before letting go and making her way up the stairs to shower.

“You guys are quite energetic this morning” Jimin helps the wounded Taehyung up onto his feet without much effort and heads back to the kitchen where he finishes plating up the food.

“Tae interrupted my me time” Riley grumbled as she had to tread back up the steps, legs sore from yesterday’s workout.

“oooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooo why didn’t you tell me you were having some TLC huh?” Taehyung calls out to Riley with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Riley just rolls her eyes and flips the male off while heading into her separate bathroom. Luckily this was a place where it was a no-go zone for the boys, an unspoken rule that Taehyung actually followed. Jimin was always a good cookie so Riley didn’t have to worry about someone walking in on her as she was showering.

“Common now eat up, I cooked breakfast for us” Jimin nudged Taehyung’s side as he finished prepping everyone’s meals for the day.

“Oh, Jimin you’re an angel” Taehyung gives Jimin’s cheeks a squeeze before going to grab the plate full of sausages and grease but was rudely slapped away.

“Ouch! What the hell Jimin?” Taehyung rubs the back of his hand where Jimin had slapped him with a spatula and pointed towards the plate where there were cooked egg whites, chicken and sad looking spinach.

“You’re on a diet for your upcoming photoshoot remember? I’ve packed your meals for the day so don’t go eating anything else” Jimin gave Taehyung an intense glare before taking the plate that Taehyung had originally wanted and started digging in happily, deliberately licking his lips and gulping down a glass of orange juice just to rub it in.

“Sometimes I think you’re worse than Satan’s child” Taehyung looked towards the second floor which earned another whack but on the back of his head this time.

“Eat your breakfast and behave” Jimin scolds Taehyung making him jump and start shovelling his food down his throat. Taehyung couldn’t really complain necessarily as this food always tasted good even though it was the blandest food known to man-kind, but his precious Jiminie made it just for him so he couldn’t say no.

“Riley, your plate is in the microwave I’ll see you this evening at class!” Jimin called out whilst untying his apron and hanging it on the hook by the cupboard.

“ThankyouyourethebestIllseeyoutonight!” Riley pokes her head out of her bathroom, a towel tightly wrapped around her body and her hair dripping wet from the shower.

“Don’t” Jimin points towards Taehyung who was just about to make a remark about her appearance and thus sulks silently as he finished his food.

“Will you be home tonight or are you staying at the studio again?” Taehyung asks quietly as he takes a seat at the dinner table and twirls his hair between his fingers, briefly wondering if he should keep growing it out or get it cut.

“Depends on how much work there is to do, I’ve made extra food and labelled it all out for the next few days so on the off chance I’m not back for a while you’ll be fine” Jimin says as he walks over to Taehyung and fixes his hair that was now sticking in every direction.

“Don’t look at me like that” Jimin giggles as he sees the big pout forming on Taehyungs lips. Jimin just sighs and pinches his friend on the cheek.

“I’ll see you later” Jimin says with his sweetest smile as he turns on his heels towards the front door.

“Have a good day guys!” Jimin calls out as he closes the front door behind him.

“You too” Taehyung says mostly to himself as he slumps down into his chair, slowly picking at the rest of his food but not feeling hungry anymore.

“You need a lift to your meeting today?” Riley asks as she walks in bare foot, fully dressed in a pair of black pants and a navy-blue top provided by her work. She looks over her shoulder as she takes her food out of the microwave and munches down quickly only noticing how hungry she really was.

“Nah I’ll be fine it’s close enough to walk to” Taehyung pushes himself up from his seat and walks over to Riley who’s shoving the last bit of meat into her mouth before going to wash her plate in the sink. Taehyung stands behind Riley and snakes his arms around her waist, cuddling up close and hiding his face in the crook of her neck.

Riley was used to his touchy nature but she could tell he was troubled but decided not to push. Riley continues to clean her dishes and cutlery, waddling her way around the kitchen with Taehyung clinging to her like a baby koala. Once finished she places her hands on top of Taehyungs much larger ones and slowly pries them open. Taehyung complies but not before gently squeezing Riley closer for a small moment. Riley turns in his embrace and wraps her arms around Taehyung’s middle bringing him closer as she rubs a hand back and forth over his back. This causes Taehyung to slowly loosen his tension in his shoulders and calm his emotions before letting Riley go completely. Riley looks back and forth between Taehyung’s eyes and gives him a small smile, one that Taehyung returns before he turns to go get ready for the day.

Riley knows all about how big of a crush Taehyung has on Jimin. He hides it well, most of the time, but it’s getting to the point where Riley can see the cracks more clearly with each passing day. Had it not been for the pinkie promise that she gave Taehyung to never ever EVER say a word to Jimin she would have spilled the beans long ago, but it’s not for her to decide whether or not they start dating so she sits off to the side watching and waiting for what everyone is expecting. If only Jimin wasn’t so dense he would be able to clearly see the true feelings his housemate has for him and stop denying the feelings he has for the other as well.

“I won’t be back until this evening but give me a call if you need anything” Riley calls out to Taehyung as she grabs her shoes and balances on one leg at a time trying and shove them on. Taehyung yells out a quick ‘ye’ from his room as he’s going through his wardrobe picking out a white v-line shirt, black skinny jeans and a denim jacket to throw on top. The weather was starting to cool down so it was finally becoming comfortable layering clothes which Riley was happy for as she was not a fan of the heat.

“Go crack some bones” Taehyung calls out as he skips down the stairs whilst tucking in his shirt and buckling up his belt.

“For the last time Tae, I’m a physiotherapist not a chiropractor” Riley complains as she rummages through her bag making sure that she has everything packed for the day ahead.

“Rightrightright” Taehyung says as he brings out his black combat boots.

Once they were both ready to leave Taehyung locks the door behind them as they exit their apartment and head towards the elevator. The doors open relatively quickly and they step inside, Riley checking her phone for new messages that she received during the night and Taehyung checking his reflection in the mirror, constantly fixing his hair and pierced ears.

Once the doors open on the ground level Taehyung nods his head to Riley and puts on his pair of aviators and heads out the entrance of the apartment complex, keeping his hands tucked into his jacket. Riley watches Taehyung’s retreating form as she presses for the level below to reach the basement where her car is parked below.

 --

 “Good morning Riley!” the receptionist welcomes Riley with a sweet smile and hands her the files for the day.

“Good morning Danny, how are you today?” Riley smiles back. She’s always liked Danielle, an absolute sweetie and one that needed to be protected from those slimy clients who would try flirting with her every chance they could get.

“I’m doing well thank you for asking. Sorry to dump this all on you, but Mark won’t be coming in today… his mother had another heart attack” Danny whispers sadly as Riley packs her bag away and looks through the pile of files given to her.

“Again? I do hope she’ll be ok, she’s always been such a kind woman” Riley’s face falls upon hearing the news, making a note to call Mark at an appropriate time. For now, Riley had to focus on the task at hand.

“I’ll organise to send some flowers to the hospital” Danny says as she swivels in her chair, setting up her headset.

“That would be nice I’ll give you some money later today” Riley nods her head towards the girl who’s busy already making phone calls to clients and reminding them for upcoming appointments.  

Riley heads down the hall towards her office where her desk and treatment table are all set up. This job had been one that Riley had worked so hard for. The ungodly number of hours she studied and sacrificed to get to this point was almost soul crushing, but in the end, she achieved her honours with high distinctions which landed her the job that she loves with every fibre of her being. Making sure that her appearance was presentable Riley brought out her first file and had a quick flick through, memorizing the client’s previous treatment and looking at ways to improve for the future.

Helping people was always something Riley loved to do, she was always dubbed as the mother friend. Riley was always there for her friends, picking them up from parties and taking them home, bringing them food when they are sick, protecting them from creepy unwanted attention, the list goes on. Her mother always gushed about how she was going to help so many people, telling her that she was a natural helper and knew that one day she would help people live better lives which she was doing just that.

There were plenty of days where she felt tired but that’s just natural when you’ve been working nonstop for years without taking a proper break, but that was Riley’s nature. You have to work hard to get what you want. She knew how hard life is and that thing’s aren’t just given to you on a silver platter. She rolls her eyes at those whom boast of their wealth, which was really handed to them by their rich parents.

“Alright let’s get this day going” Riley says to herself as she checks the time and walks out of her office greeting her first client of the day.

“Jesse Walker?” Riley calls out into the waiting room and sees a young man a few years younger than her stand up from his seat and walk towards her.

“Just down the hall and to the left”

 --

 The day was long and hard since Riley had to cover for most of her co-worker’s clients on top of her own but it made time run by quickly. Once Riley had finished with her last client she tidied up her office and packed up for the day. Wasting no time Riley locked up her office and made her way to the front desk checking tomorrows schedule.

“Another busy one tomorrow I’m afraid” Danny says as she writes down some sticky notes and tags them on her computer screen as she logs out.

“That’s alright, did most of Mark’s clients take the news well that he will be out of action for the next week or two?” Riley rummages through her bag and takes out her container of food that was meant to be lunch but she didn’t have any time to spare despite feeling ravenous.

“They took it well mostly but I got a few huffy puffy gents” Danny stands and fixes her skirt in place having been sitting down all day.

“Did Jimin make that?” Danny asks pointing at the container of stir-fried vegies and chicken that Riley was currently consuming.

“Yes he did. Alright alright stop it with the begging, open wide” Riley laughs as her co-worker opens her mouth and flaps her arms about like a baby bird. Riley scoops a generous amount and carefully spoons it into Danielle’s mouth who hums happily as she chews, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmmsogooooooooood” Danielle claps as she grabs her keys makes a round through the office, locking up the doors and switching off the lights.

“You go on ahead, I won’t be too far behind” Danielle calls out as Riley slings her bag over her shoulder.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow” Riley calls out as she makes her way out the door and heads straight for her car. Riley had finished a little later than what she would have liked but she has enough time to get to the dance studio and change before class starts. Just as Riley gets into her car her phone starts ringing so she quickly puts in her wireless earphones, curtsey of one Kim Taehyung, and presses accept.

“Hey Riley, you coming to class tonight?” Jimin’s sweet voice comes through the earphones clear as day. He’s sounding a little out of breath but that’s to be expected as he would have just finished a class.

“Just on my way now” Riley pulls out of the car park and onto the road, making sure to check her blind spots as she switches lanes.

“Oh good I was worried since you’re usually here by now. Hey would you be able to have a look at one of my students, she’s landed awkwardly and her ankle isn’t doing so great” Jimin asks, worry evident in his voice. Riley is no stranger to many people asking for “free services” outside of work because she is their friend, however her and Jimin have been friends since university and one she considers family.

“Absolutely, I’ll be there in 10 so that should give me time to change and have a look before class starts” Riley smiles as she hears the sigh of relief coming from the other end of the call.

“Thank you so much, you’re a blessing” Jimin says happily.

“I know you hate asking for favours but it’s ok Jimin, you know I’m always happy to help you whenever you need” Riley replies.

“What did I ever do to have an amazing best friend like you?”

“Well you make me food every day so I think that evens things out”

“Good point, I really should start charging you now that you have a full-time job” Jimin teases.

“Wow rude, alright I’m pulling up soon so I’ll see you in a bit” Riley ends the call as Jimin says goodbye over the phone.

It doesn’t take long for Riley to find her usual parking spot, Jimin being ever so kind as to allow her a staff members parking spot. Riley jumps out of the car and grabs her gym bag which carries a spare change of clothes. Riley walks through the front door and is greeted with many people waving her way and calling out her name in delight.

“Riley over here!” Jimin calls out over the small crowd, waving his hands above his head and jumping up and down. His silver hair is damp with sweat and his clothes have started sticking to his body which leaves little to the imagination. Riley walks through the throng of people and greets Jimin and gives him a big hug despite his protests not wanting to get Riley all gross and sticky.

“Give me a minute to change” Riley asks as she makes her way to the changing rooms.

“Ok, I’ll be in room 1, meet me there?” Jimin throws his thumb over his shoulder and Riley gives him a thumbs up as she walks away to get changed.

Once Riley had changed into her dancing outfit, she quickly shoved her work clothes into her bag and makes her way to go meet up with Jimin and his student. Riley found the room easily as she had been there many times and gave the door a few knocks before entering.

Jimin was sitting on the floor legs crossed and quietly chatting with a girl whom was laying on the ground with one leg bandaged up and covered with ice and resting on a chair to raise it up.

“Hey Alex, wasn’t expecting to see you laying about, what’s going on?” Riley chirps in trying to keep the mood as light as possible. She knows how serious injuries can be to dancers, especially when they have competitions coming up, so she wanted to make sure not to dampen the mood anymore that it already was.  

“Hah, well you know how hard this one pushes us I just wanted some rest” Alex jests but Jimin genuinely starts to panic, waving his arms about and apologizing profusely.

“Relax Jimin I’m joking, seriously you’re an amazing instructor and this had nothing to do with you” Alex pats Jimin on the leg as she brings her leg down off the chair and gives Jimin the icepack.

“What happened?” Riley sits down and inspects the ankle from a distance wanting to know the full story before she started touching anything that may cause severe pain. Alex relayed the story how she had been practicing with Jimin and the crew for the upcoming showcase and that after a flip she had landed awkwardly and her ankle gave out and started hurting badly.

“We wrapped it up just in case and iced it but we aren’t sure what the problem is” Jimin says as he bites his thumb nervously, leg bouncing as he was becoming jittery.

“Alright, well do you mind if I have a look at your ankle?” Riley gestures towards the bandaged ankle and Alex nodes in approvement.

Riley takes her time as she unwraps the material, closely watching the dancer’s reaction from any sudden movement but nothing was badly effecting Alex. Once the ankle was free Riley had a close look to see if there was anything abnormal and then started moving the joint, checking its range of motion to see any areas of stiffness.

Riley made sure to constantly check in on Alex, asking whether what she was doing hurt or if there were any particular areas that hurt more than others. Alex pointed out the certain areas and with a few quick tests Riley was able to make a statement.

“Well it’s definitely not a break, and there isn’t any bruising or swelling so I doubt that there is any tearing. If you really want to be sure I can give her a referral to get a scan done but honestly my advice is giving it some rest and try to walk on it as normally as you can. You’re more than welcome to come in and I can give it a good massage if you want” Riley pulls out some proper tape that she always brings with her and starts to strap it up, just to give it some more support.

“Thank you so much you’re an angel” Alex gives Riley a hug once she was up on her feet.  

“You sure you’ll be ok?” Jimin worries once more and Alex just punches him on the arm showing that she really was fine. Jimin rubs at his arm and laughs lightly as he watches Alex grab her bag and slowly limp her way out the room.

“I’ll be kicking back into action soon, just watch me!” Alex calls out as she leaves.

“Seriously thank you again for checking in on Alex. She’s a brave girl but gosh she is stubborn when it comes to having injuries checked out, I worry for her sometimes” Jimin sighs as he leans a hand on his hip pursing his lips deeps in thought.

“Common, you’ve got one more class to take and then I’ll have a look at your neck after” Riley nudges Jimin as she grabs her bag off the floor and heads towards the main room where the advanced classes are held.

“Ay ay captain!” Jimin salutes and runs after Riley giving her butt a quick slap as he runs out the room.

“Hey!” Riley yelps as goes to run after Jimin but nearly runs straight into someone.

“Sorry!” Riley calls out as she shuffles around the man and continues to chase after Jimin.

Authors Note: This story can be a very typical one and I didn’t write the guys as they would normally be in real life but I had fun writing their characters 

#Memories #Riley #Jimin #Taehyung #Jungkook #bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfic au #I'm not good with tags sorry #Memories Prologue

[exquisitelyeco]

A few questions of heaven........

So today I was on the bus. Thinking of what to write and I thought of my wee thoughts of heaven. Had a better title but forgot it. So what DO I think heaven will be like? What do YOU think? Now I DO write some of the stuff I think heaven will be like. BUT you may notice the odd questions with it……. Well seems to me, it’s going to be like here. No floating in fluffy clouds with harps, singing hallelujah, thank Goodness. That makes Hell sound hot…….which it will be, in another sense of the word…..who wants to be a boring floaty thing with wings and a harp? Not me! I’m going to wear long flowing dresses and pinky peach patent leather three inch high heels! So. Transport. Trains? Has to be trains. I love steam engines….don’t go all silly on me! EVERY good idea comes from God, bible said so, so there! And why would our God give us great ideas, just to throw them away for a stupid harp on a cloud, tell me THAT, HUMMMM? Bear with me here! Every good idea, invention, EVERYTHING comes from God. And we all know He NEVER throws good things away……right?…..YES! Right! But anyway, back to trains, what about those sad few who love diesel or electric trains? Will they have different tracks? I mean there must be such thing as clean fuel there. What about cars and motor bikes? HAS to be Harley’s! But what if you’d live centuries before and wanted a horse and carriage, or a horse and cart, or even a cow and cart? Will they share the road? Will there be a speed limit? Will somehow cars automatically slow down, before they get too close? Who maintains the roads? ‘Afore you say anything, God AIN’T Mary Poppins! At least not always.

As angels are ministering servants, they are going to have a LOT of work to do. Or, talking of cars and horses, will your car suddenly have overtaken the horse, just by thought? If you didn’t want to drive, could you just think where you wanted to go, to get there? If you want to drive, will you need to take a test? If you have a horse, will it poo? Will the poo just disappear cos technically it’s ‘dead’? Talking of dead, what happens to leaves when they fall of a tree? I mean when a leaf falls it’s dead isn’t it? But that’s not fair! Poor leaf! It’s budded, and grown and done it’s bit, then it disappears for ever? What about our pets? I have had loads of cats. Will I keep them all? They’d better be up there, God. I’ll be really upset if not. What about the cats I had that didn’t ‘grab’ my heart, like others did. I loved them, but didn’t connect as deeply. Surely they won’t be just gone into oblivion! That’s not fair! Even You don’t have favourites! Do they get given to someone else? What if they see me and want to come back to me? Will you ever want to give a pet AWAY? I mean, I’ll have a LOT of cats…… What about houses? Before you start, AGAIN, Jesus HIMSELF stated, He was off to build us a mansion each. I don’t want a mansion. But a little cottage, with a veranda, conservatory, window seats, huge kitchen, with lots of cupboards and a huge range cooker, sunken bath room, massive, light, airy craft room, on the banks of the river, with a ramp thing or whatever they are called….for a boat, library with some big, squishy, cuddly chairs and huge fire places, would be nice. What about cleaning? Will we need too? Can you ask somebody to do it for you? Can you get them to wear a frilly apron and cap? Will some people wear uniforms for work? Will they need safety gear? How will things work? Will there be electricity? How can it be solar, if there is no sun?!!! What about gas? How does a cooker work? Do we have fireplaces? What if we want electricy ones…..no spelling error, new word! Will they work, ‘through faith?’

What about boats? Now I know we will walk on water, but what if you don’t want too? Do you need to practise first? I mean, I don’t think WE will be like Mary Pops, in the fact that we will learn new things, ourselves there. Be blasted boring if we get there and know it all already! What about ladies shaving their legs? Surely if there is so much life there, your hair would grow back the same day! Could you order it in the name of Jesus, not to grow? And appearance. Surely we don’t have to stay looking the same for EVER, that would be soooooo boring and tedious. What if you want to colour your hair? Do you go to a hair dresser? Do you, in faith tell your hair to change colour? Dresses. Are there shops? I know Old God said He will give us a robe of righteousness or a garment of Salvation, but to only have one garment for ETERNITY? What if it rips? If you tear it on a bush, does the bush go all soft, so it can’t tear? Do you have to sew it yourself? What if it gets dirty? I know there WILL be mud in heaven. Hippos love mud! Dogs love mud! Toddlers love mud! And as I have started before, God MADE mud. Now it’s no good you thinking this can’t happen, this stuff. Cos, logically it has too! Why? Cos when God made this earth He said it was good. Not second rate, or could be improved on. GOOD. And John 3 v 16 states Jesus came to save the world. Note that word! World! Not just us. We sodded up the whole thing. Ruined everything. And old G wants to put it back how it should have been. What about habitats? I mean, as Paul boringly said, there would be no more sea, it will all be one land mass. So does it start at desert, go through to scrubland, then prairie, then hills then end up in the rainforest? Is it all mashed in, with a miraculous habitat? There’s no sun! How does that work? And what if you liked the moon, night and stars? Surely God can do something about that? I love the moon and stars! I want moon!

Animals, will they give testimony at the judgement? Will they talk in heaven? Is that how they will tell what happened? What if they didn’t like it when you teased them? Or didn’t walk them regularly? Will THEY get to choose your punishment for that? And what happens when you die? I mean, if you are not friends with God? Do you see Jesus? Surely that’s not fair! Cos you are already going to be judged, so seeing the love of God is mean! Do you have to go to a waiting area, whilst they ‘check’ if you’ve got in? IS it Peter at the pearly gates? ARE the gates made of pearl? Bit weird.....Do you get a ticket, and go through a turnstile? And if the ticket doesn’t go through you haven’t got in? What if they make a mistake with your ticket? Surely if you have to go to a waiting room, it’s kind of like being judged anyway, cos they have to decide what happens to you. So your judged twice! Yes, bad grammar……so? Do you go through a long white light tunnel? Do you get on a bus? Like in C. S. Lewis book, ‘The great divorce?’ A brilliant, but sober read…..Is there purgatory? Is the waiting room purgatory? Is purgatory so scary you wont make it to heaven? Bit worried about that! Me scareded….yup, new word. What if you don’t like spiders here? Will you miraculously love them in heaven? Will you have to learn? Do shoes wear out? Do you have to go to a shoe mender? As your in heaven, will the heels last forever? What if you ENJOYED being a shoe mender? I know one thing. There won’t be ANY smart price, value or essentials poor person range, when it comes to food. Gods not mean! It will all be finest! Don't believe me? Check out John 2 v 5-10! So there, Teresa may…..small m. And if you actually get there, bet you get a TENT. No looking down on people. No class system. I think we WILL look up to some people, like Paul, Peter, King David etc. But in a nice deference and respect. Not because we are made or think we are inferior. The tories will hate heaven. Poor people blessed! I have to say, I will laughs and throw my hat in the air and say ‘Sod you lot! Hahahahahaha!’And I’ll lend old Teresa a sleeping bag……notice I said lend….

So animals testifying. Some nasty stuff done to animals has not been seen. Will they talk? Does God video our life? Does that include being on the LAVATORY? What if you do something naughty in the loo? I mean, your on your phone, scrolling and making nasty comments. Will heaven see you sitting there, as punishment? Will the loo bit be blocked or shaded out? I mean I have to confess, I have ASKED God to video stuff for prosperity! Like when my cat sits next to or on my head in the dark, and puts her cheek on my cheek. I make my eyes try to focus, into the camera, and ask God to video it! Seriously! Not as if I can see it from the position I’m in….. can you change a photo? What if you got caught at a wrong angle and it spoilt the picture? Which is why I try to focus….. Does china beak in heaven? Is it mended? Can you mend it, ‘by faith?’ Not that we are Mary Pops, but it might be an emergancy! Supposing you dropped the pudding? And have no time to make a new one? Surely using faith in that situation is okay? What if you started taking advantage? Do you get stopped using that kind of faith for a while? Surely you can’t throw it away? The bowl that is, not the faith…..What happens to our rubbish? Is it recycled? What happens to hair when it falls out your head? Does it disappear? Is it used for something? What about scraps of food? Do dogs and cats eat it, instead of tins? Do dogs and cats even get given tins? How do they eat? Grass? Dogs love bones! Will there be wood tasting bones, that don’t splinter? And some kind of toy mouse for cats? Will cats BE predatory? Do we need dentists? Will we have crooked teeth? Were we all supposed to have straight teeth, but cos of the fall Some got sticky out ones? Can you choose to have a brace? Do you feel pain, if you fall over? Or does the ground become like sponge? Can you think your self upright, before you HIT the ground? Do you bleed, as a spirit? What happens when you’ve eaten? Do you poo? Are moles and freckles part of the fall? Seriously! One preacher from the USA, (why is it always USA, preachers?!) said moles were ‘spots and blemishes, that should not be there!’ But what if you LIKE your mole? I like my freckles, Thankyou very much! How will they show, if there is no sun? What if you have a mole you DON’T like? Will Jesus let you remove it? Can you have plastic surgery? If you’ve HAD plastic surgery here, and you die, do you still have the change made in heaven? What if you really want bigger boobs? What if you DID’NT like the surgery?

If you wear tights and they ladder, can you ‘heal’ them by faith?!! The same as if your zipper breaks….. What if you LIKE wearing glasses? Do you get to wear them with plain glass? Will we need sunglasses when we see God? Do the Seraphim around His throne EVER stop flying? What about stuff like make up? Surely there WILL be make up! Handbags and shoes! No more pleather! Or faux leather! Only pure materials! Wool, satin, silk, brocade. But what if you LIKE polyester or nylon? Will sheep get shorn for wool? What if you want a leather jacket? Are there leather trees? Cos, after all there’s no death! What about BACON and steak? How are we going to get those? A machine that replicates earth food? What about diet? Will we have to eat healthily? Will chickens lay eggs and cows give milk? How will they make chocolate? What happens to stuff we make in factories? Will heaven have factories? What happens if you want something? God hates money! Do you go in and say, ‘What will you want for those shoes?’ What if someone does something silly? Will they get told off? DO you get told off in heaven? How embarrassing…..who tells you off? What if you get caught speeding? What happens about rain? With no sun, how do we get clouds? Children like splashing in puddles! I like splashing in puddles. We once went down a road full of pot holes and I taught my boys to do a run up to my brother and land in a puddle, right next to him,…..Or I did it….. What if you like umbrellas? What about snowballs? Snow ball fights?

What about Christmas and Birthdays? Will we celebrate those? Thanksgiving, Easter? What about holidays? Will we get them? What work will we do? Will we want too? Are there beds? What if you LIKE sleepiness? I do. How can you sleep if there is no moon? Why does God want no moon? I WANT MOON! And as good things come from You, YOU said the moon was good when you made it! You can’t just throw it away! Poor moon! Are stars living? Do they have human form, when they come down here? Do cats get fleas? What were fleas originally created FOR? Why create them? Surely not just for sin and punishment? Poor fleas! They are living! That’s not fair! What about worms and head lice? Did they have another purpose? Did you just make thistles and thorns to punish us? Thistles look pretty! Did stingers develop stings because of the fall? Will we call them ‘Stinglesses’? What happens to spare seeds when they fall to the ground? Do they ALL grow? It will get crowded! Will the garden need weeding? What happens to pulled up plants? Do they die? HOW can they die, if there is no death in heaven? What about if we cut flowers for a vase? Do they stay there forever? IS there a manure heap? Cos technically manure is rotting dead stuff? Or is that legalistic? But if it is where do you draw the line? IS there a line? Will poo be used as manure? Will there be supermarkets? I hope just little town markets. But what if you like Costa? What if you were a butcher on earth? What then? Will you enjoy cutting up meat trees? Will it feel the same? That is, if there ARE meat trees. What if you like name brand stuff? Can you have it? Hopefully it won’t all be WWJD, or Hallelujah, or big J or something! Ewwwww.

So….many questions! I have so many questions… Paul, why did he make such a big deal about women covering their hair? Does he feel guilty looking down from heaven, seeing the problems he caused, cos of that? Does James feel sorry he was so legalistic? Has Jonah met the whale that swallowed him whole? Are they friends? Well, God, you said, ‘Eye had not seen or ear heard,’……..which reminds me! Music! There had better be heavy rock in heaven! Metal! What about violent, but good movies? Can we still watch them? Can we watch the ones made on earth, in heaven? Can we make violent movies in heaven? Or is that the line, again, if there is one? Some movies like that EDIFY…..! I mean all the bible history! That was violent! It would and does make good movies! Can we watch people’s life’s that were interesting in heaven? What happens to people who don’t get to heaven but did good things? Do we acknowledge that? How do you deal with that in the judgment? What about books? And speaking different languages? Will we still need to do that? Is the English Language spoken in heaven? Do we speak a heavenly language? Do we have to learn it first? If so, will all the books in the world need to be translated? Who will do it? What about horror or thriller books, if people like them? Will they be allowed to read them? Will people still write stuff like that? Will there be cinemas for films you’ve already seen, or will your memory be so good you can watch them, or listen to music you’ve known in your head? Can you do both? Just for the EXPERIENCE of the cinema? Will we still burp? Especially after fizzy? What about computers? Will we have those? Mobile phones? What if you LIKE having a phone or iPad? Or can we ‘telepathically’ talk to people not near us? What if loads of people are doing it to the same person at once? Do you have to queue?…..to ‘telepathy’ talk to them, I mean….What if you can just materialise before them, and loads do it at the same time? Or they are still communicating in their telepathic mode? Will you know? Will their eyes look spaced out? DO we need to queue anywhere? What if we ALL want to see Jesus all the time at ONCE? Be a bit busy…..what if you want PERSONAL time with J? Do you make an appointment? Guess I’m going to have to wait and see……I tell you, thank God it IS eternity! It’s going to take that long to get answers……..

#god funny #God #God humour #god personal #god personal life #heaven