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#anyway. it’s 7:10 pm and im about to go to bed
desperate2lose · 9 months
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August 4th, 2023
7 am: goddamn it’s beautiful in the morning but i’m exhausted. my baby’s tire blew while driving me to the greyhound station and i’m so worried. somebody tried to talk shit about them but i put em in their place.
i ate a boiled egg and a rice cake and i’ve got snacks with me so i should be fine. i brought a cucumber, rice cakes, wheat thins, chips, and water. i overpacked but it’s better than being tempted by fast food on the way.
9 pm: fuck. i was doing so well until i got to my moms. since then i’ve had a handful of hot tamales, an ice cream, and a zot (candy). oh and my aunt offered me an egg mcmuffin after i was ⭐️ving for 5 hrs on the bus. my stomach was growling, i was so empty, and yet here i am. i ate so many empty calories and now i’m still hungry but i don’t wanna eat. especially because my mom ordered pizza.
while we were at the lake i told her i was losing weight and she said “you better not be stârving yourself” as a joke and i was like 😬 nope definitely not.
i doubt she’d give a fuck. when i was in high school my ed was rly bad and she basically told me i was faking it and that i was too fat to be 4n4rexic. made me pull up my shirt and everything.
anyway, trauma dump over. i’m gonna try and log all this shit. fml.
…why does myfitnesspal think i burned like 2000 cals from leisurely swimming for 4 hrs? that can’t be right. IM SO FUCKING HUNGRY.
10 pm: going to bed so fucking hungry ✌🏻 i can’t wait til i’m not fat. proud of myself for avoiding pizza. sigh.
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keefwho · 1 year
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April 04 - 2023
8:50 AM
Its hard to accept but I want to focus on myself more. I’ve caught myself giving too much and I’m aware its not good to drain myself consistently when I’m not getting much back. I haven’t reached a bad point yet and thats good that I can catch it early on. Sometimes I don’t understand why I should be focusing on myself, like I don’t feel like there is a reason. Obviously I know I need to take care of my own needs but I always thing if I was the last person on earth, then what would it matter? I guess the logic is that since I’m not the last person on earth, I can at least take care of myself for the sake of others. I have to keep myself in decent shape in order to keep giving in a way that is sustainable. 
7:29 PM
Sometimes I don’t know what to feel or I don’t wanna feel at all so I end up wanting to be degenerate and just cum because it’s something easy to get invested in. I don’t think that’s a problem but I have trouble finding a good outlet even for that sometimes.
10:27 PM
I still just... don’t know who I am or what I’m doing sometimes. I’ve also been able to label myself as having an inferiority complex so it’s good I could identify that. I have a lot of fear because of it. I fear that I may be too inferior to keep my friends. I’m often silently putting myself down, assuming I am not worth love or adoration. I want to much to experience feeling loved. I almost can sometimes but most of the time my own feelings about myself stop it from happening. I kinda wanna talk about it with someone, it might help a lot to get some communication about it. Actually hearing what people think of me in plain terms helps sometimes because otherwise I’m trying to infer how people feel and I always assume the worst. I want to be told straight up sometimes. 
Instead of festering on feelings, I could express them through art. I’ve been bad about that lately. I tend to be a crybaby about things and I wait for people to notice. Then if they don’t, I become a bigger crybaby. Either that or I only wait for the perfect circumstances to express my feelings. Im basically blueballing myself all the time. I need to get things out and I know that. It’s always going to be perfect but it has to happen anyways. 
Or sometimes I need a break from feeling and thinking in general which is something I don’t do enough. No more thinking tonight, Im just going to watch this Minecraft speedrun and relax. Maybe cry if feel like it.
11:03 PM
Nevermind, I’m ranting. I feel alone, even though I know I’m not. And when I feel alone I don’t see the point in anything. If no one is around to experience life with, I don’t want to live. The thing is I know I have people. They are THERE and sometimes I have a hard time connecting to them because of ME. Because for SOME reason, I think of myself as worthless. How can I even be so counterintuitive of a lifeform? If I really don’t think of myself as anything then why do I keep trying anything? Why don’t I abandon my sleep schedule, work schedule, and rot away in my bed? I guess because I get glimpses of what I want to live for. Because at least sometimes I feel good about myself and confident in my relationships. 
And I have to announce this to myself (if I haven’t already). I want a partner. That’s okay. I always worry that I’m trying to use the idea of a partner as a bandaid to my problems. But I am too aware of that for that to be the case. I want someone to share loyalty with. I want to be on someone’s mind at all times, and the person they run to when they need help. It’s not out of reach, I deserve that. Nothing is inherently stopping me from being allowed to have this kind of dynamic. My whole life I would cast the idea aside because I thought of myself as the nerd character that never ever gets the girl. But I am no character, I’m a human like 8 billion others on this planet. I can love. And I want love. 
11:33 PM
Im such a FOOL. Of course I’m cared for. IDIOT. I feel REALLY stupid. I always get sucked into these negative thought patterns and forget the truth. God I can be dumb sometimes. 
I have to prioritize myself so I can achieve the things I desire. They all require a sound mental foundation. Otherwise I know the things I seek will only serve to bandaid my issues. Maybe the first step to countering my inferiority complex is to accept that I am at least worthy of my own care. 
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revenge bedtime procrastination but the opposite where i go to bed really early. also known as waking up at 5 am and saying goodnight to your friends who are about to go to sleep
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urbfsecretgf · 3 years
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The boy next door. (pt2.)
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a/n: no one asked for more but im just gonna keep posting as i write bc its fun :)
(everything is made up including names, family members and text messages)
_________________________________________________________
you look at the message from vinnie and smile.
"what are you so smiley about y/n?" you mom says in a jokingly way
"she met a boy at the ice cream shop" jack says sounding annoyed
"soooo whats his name, is he cute, how old is he, where does he live, i wanna know everything"
your mom has always been a little nosey when it comes to boys, especially ones that make you smile.
"mommmmmm" you say
"oh come on i just wanna know"
"okay fine" you give in "his names vinnie and he lives next door, he came into the ice cream shop while we were waiting and he complimented me on my ice cream choice"
your mom laughs and says; "he seems like a very sweet boy, why dont you invite him and his family over for dinner tomorrow?"
"we arent moved in fully yet mom" jack interrupts
"oh vinnie offered to come over tomorrow and help move stuff in, you can invite him and his family over for dinner when hes here if you want to"
your mom sits and thinks about it for a second. she's never liked asking for help "you know we could use the extra hands, if you want to text him and see if hes willing to come over around 10 and help unload boxes that would be wonderful. i'll make lunch too depending on how long it takes"
"YES!" you scream in excitement, "i'll text him right now and see if he can. love you mom!"
you run upstairs and let out a squeal. you where so excited to see your dream boy again.
you text vinnie and throw your phone on your bed.
"oh shoot!" you yelled. "if he does come over i have to clean my room i can have it look like this." you look down at your floor and see all the laundry scattered everywhere.
"im such a mess"
you put on your favorite playlist and start dancing while you clean your room.
*BZZ*
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"mom! he said hes coming over tomorrow!"
"sounds good!"
you keep cleaning your room but eventually fall asleep because you had a long day today.
when you woke up you checked the time.
"ITS 10:45??"
your alarm never went off causing you to over sleep.
"i havent showered, i havent gotten ready, i havent done anything! and my room still isnt clean UGHHHH!"
you quickly throw on a pair of pajama bottoms and a crop top you found in your closet, you put dry shampoo in and throw your hair into a bun.
you grabbed your glasses and run down stairs.
"well good morning sleeping beauty" vinnie says to you staring at you.
"OMG YOU'RE HERE!"
"yeah you told me to come over... your mom is an amazing lady i must say, i also didnt know you wore glasses"
"MY GLASSES NOOOO!" you panic realizing you didnt have time to put your contacts in
"calm down its okay y/n. i like them." vinnie smiles at you.
"his smile is so pretty, and his eyes, wow." you think to yourself.
"y/n?" your mom says
"huh?"
"you okay? you zoned out for a second"
"OH yeah no im great." you realize you zoned out while staring at vinnie who was in a white tank top and is wearing a baseball cap. you couldnt stop yourself from starring.
"hey mom.." jack says "i found this in with the books"
you look at jack and realize hes holding your old bra
"JACK THATS MINE STOP" you gasp. oh boy that's embarrassing.
vinnie starts laughing and looks at you.
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"stop laughing"
you're so embarrassed that he just saw that.
"dont worry y/n its okay. my dog had my boxers on her head after she went snooping in my room."
you can't help but to laugh a little.
the thought of seeing his dog with his boxers on her head is something you would pay to see.
"alright so is there anything else you would like me to move Mrs. Anderson?" vinnie asks your mom
"i dont believe so unless y/n or jack has anything to move" your mom looks at you and your brother waiting for a response.
jack breaks the silence and goes "nope, i think everything is in my room already."
"y/n do you have anything you need help unpacking or anything?" he looks at you and his eyes are this beautiful chocolate brown color.
"yeah i do actually."
vinnie and you head up to your room
"im sorry its such a mess i was trying to clean it last night but i must have fell asleep."
"don't worry about it, my room is way worse than this"
he reaches for a magazine he sees and giggles
"whats so funny? HEY PUT THAT DOWN!"
he laughs and sets it back down
"you know i think its cute."
"whats cute?'
"you, everything about you."
you roll your eyes and smile
"you're dumb Mr. Hacker, but you're cute as well"
"thank you Ms. Hacker."
"what did you say?"
"huh? nothing, anyways is that all you wanted me to help with?"
"yeah thats it thank you."
vinnie walks downstairs and you follow.
your mom is in the kitchen with your brother.
"oh vinnie before you leave, would you and your family like to come over for dinner tonight?" vinnie looks at you and then at your mom.
"i think they would be delighted to come over for dinner tonight Mrs. Anderson, i'll text them right now."
you go into the living room to watch some tv. vinnie follows and sits next to you.
*BZZ*
vinnies phone goes off
"they said they would love to come over, do you have a time in mind on when they should come over?"
"does 7:30 work?"
"that will work just fine."
looking at the time you realize you and vinnie have spent 5 hours together already.
"i should probably get heading home, i have to shower and get ready for dinner tonight, see you then everyone!" he kisses your cheek and heads out the door.
"bye vinnie see you tonight!" your mom and brother exclaim
"what a sweet boy" mom says
*4 hours later, 7:00 PM*
"Vinnie and his family will be over in 30 mins please make sure everything is ready and make sure you guys are ready aswell"
your mom has always been one to make sure everything and everyone looks good before any guest come over.
the door bell rings.
"y/n!! can you please get the door?"
you rush downstairs and open the door.
"hey y/n, wow you look good"
you curled your hair, put makeup on, and are wearing your nice fancy dress.
"hey vin i could say the same thing about you."
both of you are dressed up very nicely. he's wearing his blue suit and has his shirt buttoned down showing chest tattoo.
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something about his tattoos drive you insane. you love them.
he introduces his family to yours
"i never knew you had a twin brothers." you say as your brother and his run off to the backyard.
"yeah they are a real pain in the ass"
"i know what that's like"
the two of you laugh
"this is a beautiful house you have jackie and you have 2 beautiful children as well" vinnies mom says to yours
"well thank you sandy im very blessed with what i have gotten in life, your 3 boys are such angels especially vinnie here. hes been very helpful today and i really appreciate it."
he smiles at your mom and then at you
"dinner was amazing, thank you for inviting us over and introducing us to your family, we are going to have a bbq here this weekend if you guys want to join." vinnies dad offers
"we will be there"
"awesome, well we best get going its late and we both have work in the morning, thank you again."
"yeah anytime! thank you guys for coming."
you say goodnight to vinnie and his family and head upstairs.
*BZZ*
New Message from Vinnie <3: you looked absolutely stunning tonight
To Vinnie <3: thank you vin, you looked very handsome tonight as well i must say, you look handsome every night tho.
From Vinnie <3: you're cute, goodnight luv sleep well :)
you set your phone down and smile. hes truly the best guy you have ever met.
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ushiwakaout · 3 years
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Things I believe Matsukawa Issei and you’re kid would say if you lived together (From the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep)
i’m ONLY doing this because @sloppykyuu is just begging me to write about Issei 🙄 (and @kac-chowsballs requested it as well)
Merry christmas Pea! I’m Latina so i celebrate today (the 24th) 💚
established relationship || fem mommy reader || you and Matus have a kid together and you call him Bub/kiddo/bean their name is Sora (unisex name so u can decide if it’s a girl or boy)
“Hey bean, let’s go wake up your momma.” (7:00 am)
“No... mommy’s scary when she makes up.”
“I know bub, i wake up to her every morning, how do you think i feel?”
you: “I can hear you Issei!!!”
“He meant to say scary beautiful momma.”
you: “Don’t defend your dad bub.”
“Shut up and give me a kiss woman.”
“How’d you sleep? Good? Good.”
“Not feeling sore?”
“Ow, he’s not even listening, huh bean.”
“What?”
“See exactly my point.”
“I don’t work today, so how about we go out today and have some family time.”
*will tangle his fingers in your hair while you’re still in bed*
“Or do you wanna stay in bed and get a sitter~”
“Ow, dont hit me. I’m just making suggestions.”
“Hey, bean- why don’t you give daddy and mommy some alone time, yeah?”
*your kid whines a little because he low key was falling asleep on your chest*
you: “Come on kiddo, i’ll make you whatever you want for breakfast.” (7:30 am)
“anything?”
*Sora’s legit rushing out the door*
“Come here.”
*Isseis already dressed but you’re nude on the sheets, makes you sit on his lap anyways*
“You sure you don’t wanna get a sitter.”
*he’s holding your hips and he’s kissing you all over, he’s doing it in a sweet romantic manner*
“You can have a date night and everything.”
“You know bean doesn’t mind, he’s old enough to get that mommy and daddy need alone time.”
“Family time? You sure?”
*hes caressing the small of your back and just giving you the most softest smile.”
“Come on , get up and let’s make Sora some breakfast.” (8:00 am)
*he really do be handing you one of his old uniform shirt and a pair of his clean boxers, he knows they makes you feel comfy*
“Bean, hey- leave your mom alone while she’s cooking.”
“But i wanna watch.”
*big eye roll from Issei but he’s not surprised he’s fascinated with his mother because, like father like son*
“Need some help?”
“Are you sure?
“Fine... Give me a kiss.”
“Their not even watching...”
“You look sexy in my clothes, have I told you that?”
*smacks you’re ass before kissing your cheek and walking back to Sora*
“Done? Look good babe.”
“No,no,no put the dishes down.”
“You cook, I clean, remember?”
*you roll your eyes and set the plates down in the sink*
“Good girl. Go clean up with Sora while i do this.” (9:00 am)
*you and Sora are in the bath together missing around, making a mohawk with their hair and everything*
*Matsu is all finished up with the dishes when he’s leaning on the door frame and listening to the two of you giggle in the bath*
*god he’s so in love with you it’s so sweet*
“You guys finished yet?” (9:40 am)
you: “Take a picture pops, it’ll last longer.”
“Take a picture- yeah you know what maybe i will.”
*takes a few pictures, definitely takes some on you and crops out Sora*
“Come on bean, let’s give mommy some alone time.”
“Want me to dress them?”
“Oh come on, i don’t dress then up so bad.”
“Fine, fine- I’ll keep it simple.”
“Stay here bean, i’ll be right back. I’m gonna check up on mom, yeah?”
you: “Why are you back here Issei.”
“Mmm just wanted to see if my sweet girl needs some company.” (10:00 am)
*a very quiet quicky, will fuck you over the sink with his hand wrapped around your neck so your back is so close to his chest, makes you watch yourself drool over his cock*
“You don’t want Sora to know that her mommy is a slut for her daddy’s cock.”
*hes legit got such a foul mouth*
“MOMMY I NEED TO PEE!!!”
*Issei burst out laughing bc you’re mid orgasm*
“Mommy’s coming Sora...”
*you’re punching his thigh a couple a thighs because he’s being an asshole*
“hurry im gonna pee of the floor.”
“Bean, you’re not even dressed yet.”
*bean is really running naked into the bathroom*
“I wanted mommy to dress me.”
you: “see i told you, you suck at dressing them.”
“hey- i’m trying my best here.” (10:20 am)
you: “Bubs, you’re getting to old to carry.”
“No im not.”
“No he’s not.”
“Come here, mom’s too weak to carry you bean.”
“No she’s not.”
you: “Thanks bean but mommy is a little weak so i need Issei to carry you.”
“But i don’t want papa.”
“Ouch, that hurt.”
“Only if papa buys me some tokoyaki.”
“Deal, come here bug.”
*Sora is a crawler so he likes crawling up from your feet until you cary him and he’s don’t it to the point where he scratches*
*that’s why issei doesn’t let him climb in him anymore- he picks him up and throws him on his shoulders*
“Woah, i’m so tall! Look momma!”
“Hey, give me your hand.”
“Because i wanna hold it woman, now give it to me.”
“Do you wanna share tokoyaki? No, thought so.”
“Open up *issei 100% likes feeding you in public to embarass you* Good girl. Taste good?” (1:00 pm)
*you probably take Sora to a park because she’s very energetic and needs to let it out somewhere*
“They’re getting so big...”
“Let me put another baby in you, yeah?”
“Come on, you’d look so good all full and plum for me.”
“Stop blushing woman, you should know you’re sexy by now.”
*he knudges your hip while you hide your face into his back*
*he kisses your hair and then the tip of your nose*
*Sora is running towards their dad and shes pulling on his jeans*
“Is mommy crying or did you embarrass her again.”
“I embarrassed her again.”
*cue pouty Sora*
“Bad daddy, come on momma, let’s get you away from meanie.”
you: “yes please.” (2:00 pm)
*sora makes you push them of the swings*
*issei once again is taking pictures of you if his kid*
*sora ends up playing with dogs that are like twice her size and one of them topples over her and she’s flying to the grown*
you: “Sora! You alright baby?!”
“let’s do that again mommy!!!”
“Do that one more time and i think you’ll kill your mommy.”
*you go back with issei for a bit and someone starts a fight with Sora bc she took someone’s swing*
“MOMMY THEY STARTED IT!!!”
you: “I know sora, hold on a second.”
*you get in a small altercation with another mother and you snap at them, leaving them quiet as hell*
“That was really sexy.”
you: “She called bean mean things, you thought i was gonna sit there and just listen?”
“Mmm, feisty... That’s very sexy of you momma bear.”
you: “Issei i’m gonna punch you.”
“Understood princess.”
“You two hungry yet?” (4:00 pm)
“YES! More tokoyaki!!!”
you: “bean you’ve had enough tokoyaki.”
“There’s no such thing.”
you: “yes there is, and i’m in the mood for ramen.”
“Got it, ramen it is. Let’s do Sora.”
“but.... tokoyaki.”
“Bean, they 100% have tokoyaki.”
“YES!!!”
you: “Carefull bean the foods probably hot.” (5:30 pm)
*they proceed to throw a tokoyaki ball in their mouth and they immediately spit it out*
“HOT TOKOYAKI!! OUCH!”
“Bean, this is why you listen to mommy.”
“I’m sleepy!” (6:30 pm)
you: “you want me to pick you up?”
“please!”
you: “They out yet?” (7:00 pm)
“Out cold...”
“Hold on, don’t move... Let me take picture.”
“Look this way, good girl- now smile for me.”
*looking down at his phone a little to long while he’s admiring you with his kid*
“We made that.”
“God please let me put another baby in you.”
“Give me a kiss pretty girl.”
“I love you.” (8:30 pm)
“Want me to tuck them in?”
“Alrighty hand them over. You go get ready for bed.”
“They really are out cold.”
“Mmm you look so beautiful.”
“Give me a kiss.”
“I can’t say it enough but you- You are so damn fine.”
*he 100% is fucking you with purpose tonight. he’s such a good baby daddy and just fills you up to the brim with his cum while fucking your pretty pussy*
“Let me lay on your chest baby.”
*proceeds to kiss your chest*
“I love you so much sweet girl.”
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thegreenmetblue · 3 years
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STARKER FESTIVAL SUMMER BINGO : 2nd square
not a date
read on ao3
Peter was utterly anxious. To be honest, he’s not even sure anything in his life stressed him more than that. To be fair, he wasn’t expecting this. At all. Let’s go back to earlier in the day. This morning to be more precise.
Peter was lying in his bed, watching some weird videos on YouTube. But it was Saturday morning. It’s what teenagers do on a early Saturday morning (read : at 10 am). Not that the boy was gonna say it out loud but it was either that, either reading fanfictions about Spiderman and Iron Man. But shhh if you ask him, he’d say it’s only for checking how people are describing him.
Anyway, he was watching some hilarious videos Ned has sent him for the last six days when his phone stopped the video in exchange of Tony Stark’s face. Peter’s heart skipped a beat in his chest, like every time Tony’s calling him. “Yes ?”, he answers with a faint voice. Most of the times, he has no issues talking to Tony face to face but god knows why, Peter has still big issues with calls.
“If this isn’t my favorite young adult. Hi, Pete. Im sorry if woke up you. Or maybe not that sorry, it was time to anyway.”, Tony’s voice says in the speaker. Peter’s cheeks redden at that. He doesn’t know the reason of it, but it’s been almost two months Tony stopped calling him a kid. And now he just said young adult, it gives hope to Peter’s poor heart. Maybe Tony stopped seeing him as a kid. Maybe he sees him more as an equal now ? Lost in his thoughts, the boy doesn’t even realize he didn’t answer to the man on the other side of the phone.
“Alright, imma take that as a no. Gosh, I wondered what happened to the boy that was practically begging to have all my attention.”, Tony laughs softly. Again, he just said Peter wasn’t that boy anymore. The boy makes a little shame sound to the man’s comment about his behavior, feeling his cheeks burning even more.
“N-no, im sorry, im here mr. Stark. You didn’t wake me up. And please take that back, I was never asking for you attention, old man.”, Peter shoots back. He loves doing that. He loves talking back to Tony. “Imma pretend I didn’t hear what you just called me. And Im also gonna pretend like you’re not shamelessly lying to me at the moment. Anyway, you have plans tonight ?”, Tony asks, a bit of growling in his voice. This automatically warms Peter’s heart. He’s probably gonna go to Tony’s lab tonight.
Peter was trying not to smile too much when he remembered Tony wasn’t actually there. “No, I don’t have anything. You want me in the lab ?”, the boy asks and immediately regrets his choice of words. want me in the lab. Fuck. He was gonna say sorry to that, but thanks god Tony speaks before he can make it even more awkward. “No actually I was thinking of something a little more fun. What do you say about eating in a fancy restaurant tonight ?”. Peter’s heart doesn’t skip a beat this time, it skips severals. Tony wants- what ?
“What ?”, he lets out, without even realizing it. “Should I take that as a no again ?”. Tony’s voice echoes in Peter’s brain but never gets analyzed. The boy’s still frozen, his phone hanging in his hand, the sound of his beating heart ringing in his ears.
“Peter ? Fri just told me your heartbeats are unsually high, are you okay ?”. And this time, that wakes him up. “Wh-what ? Oh.. no that’s- im okay, it’s just- MJ!”, Peter stutters as an answer. He swears he can hear Tony’s frowning’s expression in the silence that follows.
“I mean, she- MJ, she sent me a funny, a text, it reminded me of something and I huh.. yeah. No, that’s yes.”. Another long silence. that’s a yes. Peter feels like he just answered a proposal. “Yes as in, im free for tonight, mr. Stark.”, Peter finishes, his cheeks burning with shame.
“Great. And Im not gonna question what just happened, alright ? Be ready for 7.”, Tony simply says before hanging up. Just like that. Just like he didn’t just made Peter’s brain completely fry.
“Did Tony just asked me on a date?”, Peter asks himself out loud, alone in his bedroom, his jaw hanging in shook. What the hell ?
That’s how Peter started the most stressful day of his entire life. Exams ? Spiderman ? Thanos ? Forget all of this, he has a freakin’ date with Tony freakin’ Stark, that is the real stressful shit. He spends half of the day walking in his apartment.
Around 3, he starts to panic hard because Tony said fancy. But Peter doesn’t have fancy clothes. He stayed in front of his phone, hesitating to send Tony something about that or no. He doesn’t want Tony to think he only has kid’s clothes. But then, better this than showing up in a fancy restaurant with a pun-sweat right ?
PP : How should I be dressed for tonight ?
Peter finally sends, not asking but hoping Tony’ll understand what he meant. His smile increases when, 6 minutes after, his phone rings.
TS : Happy is gonna drop you a suit at 5.
Peter’s inside catches fire at that. The words sugar daddy are ringing in his ears. Tony is gonna buy him a suit. Just for tonight. For their date. “Oh my god, imma be sick.”, Peter mumbles. His heart has been beating so fast since the call. And he feels like he’s gonna throw up. And he’s also happy. So happy. But- a date ? With Tony Stark ? Peter has been in love with the man for- he can’t even remember. Of course at first it was just a fan crush, then a real crush, then it bloomed into full love. And Peter never thought he could had a chance. But- Peter’s thoughts get cut by the entry door opening.
It’s May. And it’s been 5 hours now that Peter is combusting with impatience all alone in his apartment that he just can’t help himself. As soon as May starts taking to him, he blurts out : “I’ve got a date tonight!”
That’s how the hundreds of questions start. May knows he’s gay. However, May doesn’t know he loves Tony and she definitely doesn’t know the actual date is with Tony. So when she starts asking who he is, Peter realizes it maybe wasn’t the best idea. So after receiving the 5 hugs May felt like she needed to give him for that, the boy sends another text to Tony.
PP : Can we meet at the park next to my building please?
And then, he lets May giving him advices for tonight. “Alright, I get why you won’t tell me. Even if Im a little concerned, I get it. Where is he taking you ?”, she asks, a big smile on her face. “I don’t know actually, he just said it was somewhere fancy.”, Peter answers, trying not to let his smile gets to him too much.
“And how are you gonna get dressed ? You maybe can try some of Ben’s suit ?”. And Peter’s heart warms at that proposition. “It’s alright May, I already have something to wear actually.”
The two next hours aren’t better, they’re worst. May continues giving him advices. For his sakes, Peter swears himself to never use some. Then he takes a shower, the longest he never took. Just in case. He wants all of his skin to smell good for Tony. His cheeks brun at this thought. Are him and Tony gonna.. ? Now his whole body is warming up and Peter can’t help but jerking off at the thought of him and Tony going home tonight and having some fun.
When Happy leaves him a text saying the suit is in the mailbox, the boy sneaks to get it. Once the suit is on him, Peter can’t stop looking at his own reflection in the mirror. It’s a light blue suit and fuck, he does look good in those. His whole skin is shivering because Tony bought it to him. Tony’s money is touching his skin. The boy snorts at his own weird thoughts. But he can’t help it.
A small whine escapes his lips when he realizes there’s still 1h30 before Tony comes to get him. And that’s the absolute worst feeling ever. Peter tries to work, to watch a tv show, to talk with May, to phone MJ or Ned, to build lego, but nothing is able to make the time look less slow. And the more the time passes, the more Peter’s stomach gets stress crushed.
When 7 pm is finally approaching, Peter’s not even sure he can breath anymore. “Peter, hey- Peter, please can you stop ?”, May finally snaps and Peter turns to her, ready to burst at her that she doesn’t know how he feels right now, but she shushes him before he can even start.
“Everything’s gonna go well, angel. But please, you’re gonna faint before you’ll even get there, alright ? You’re handsome my baby, he’s gonna love you.”, May tries to calm him by hugging him. He was about to answer her when the clock beside them shows that 7 pm is in 5 minutes. Peter jumps saying he’s gonna be late and rushes out of the apartment.
He went down the stairs, crossed the street and went to the park in a 1 minute time. His heart is menacing to get out of his chest. And when he finally hears Tony’s voice behind him, his whole body jerks and he turns to the voice.
His heart stops again. Holy fuck, Tony is- he’s god-handsome. Peter’s jaw opens and doesn’t close.
“You’re doing alright Peter ?”, Tony asks, after a few seconds. Peter tries. He tries really hard. But Tony is in front of him, in a grey suit that looks absolutely heavenly hot on him, and they’re going on a date and-
“Peter ?”, this time, he forces himself to answer before Tony decides to leaves him there. “Hum… huh- yeah? Yeah you look good. I- I mean.. Im good! Im doing… good.”. He watches in horror as Tony tries to not laugh at him. “Blue suits you, by the way.”, Tony comments and Peter tries not to blush or smile at that.
Then the older one shows him the car behind them and Peter hurries inside.
“So. Why the park ?”, the man asks after a few seconds. Peter’s brows frown in confusion. “Forget it. Everything alright Pete ? You look… tense. Did something happened while you patrolled ?”. And this time, Peter’s sure he’s blushing. Why can’t he just relax ? Okay it’s a date but it shouldn’t be any different than the rest of the time they spend together.
“Yeah.. Yeah im sorry I was just a bit nervous, you know… I… Im happy you invited me tho! So.. where are we going ?”, the boy tries to show he’s grateful for this. The last thing he wants is Tony thinking he’s not happy about the date.
“It’s an Italian restaurant, my favorite one. You’ll see, everything that’ll get into your mouth tonight will make you fly.”, Tony answers and there’s a silence. Peter’s cheeks burn hot now. Did Tony really said- oh my god. “Im just realizing how it sounds. Maybe not my best choices of words.”, the man laughs. laughs, as if he didn’t created a whole fire in Peter’s body. The boy just prays not to pop up a boner just because of a single sentence.
The rest of the ride is just small talks and when they finally arrive, Peter stays close to Tony, it makes him feel protected. And he likes it. The smile on his face is uncontrollable. He can’t believe he’s on an actual date with Tony Stark. His heart is about to burst from happiness. And the place is stunning, and Tony’s stunning. And Peter sees people watching them and he feels proud. He knows how much people want Tony. But Tony’s there with him.
Once they’re seated, Peter can’t help but stare at Tony who’s in front of him. And the only thing he can think of is that he loves him. But the boy shuts up. Tony didn’t mentioned it being a date yet, and even when he does, Peter can’t just say he loves him already.
When the menu comes, Peter just stare at the Italian names blankly. “I… I don’t understand anything that’s written.” , he murmurs to Tony, a bit ashamed. But the man just fondly snorts in response and translates him the different propositions. But after the explanations, Peter’s still lost as fuck. what the fuck are all of those ?. Tony laughs again, louder this time, noticing Peter’s lost face.
“You know what, I’ll order for you. How does that sound ?”. The boy’s heart stops and he flushes different shades of red at once. Tony is gonna order for him. “That- That sounds good. Im sorry I don’t know what are those.”, Peter finally says. “Hey, none of that Pete. Plus, Im kinda excited for you to try what I’ll pick for you.”, the man says, like it wasn’t making Peter squirm in his chair. Oh my god, he’s gonna die.
To give himself a bit of capacity, he pretends to read the menu once again and pouts noticing the prices aren’t there. Meaning it must be like, super expensive. He knows Tony can pay, and there’s a side of him that likes it. Because it’s easier for him to call Tony Daddy in his head. But there’s also a part of him that hates it because it feels like he can’t complete. May and Peter are kinda broke and Peter would have liked to be able to pay a restaurant to Tony too.
“What’s up with the pout ?”. Shit. “N-Nothing, mr. Stark really. It’s just… you know, I can’t… it’s a fancy restaurant and May and I aren’t…”, he begins but Tony cuts him. “Im stopping you right there, Peter. Im sorry if me picking a fancy restaurant embarrassed you, I should have asked where you wanted to go first. But don’t worry about that, okay ? Im not asking you to pay for anything, I invited you there.”. Peter feels his heart beating hard in his chest. “No, Im really happy to be there, I swear! I just… I just don’t want- I don’t know, forget it.”.
Tony does what Peter asked him, he drops the subject and start talking about Peter’s project in the lab. And that, it allows Peter to relax a bit. Because it suddenly feels like a normal time with Tony. And not a date. Well, a date yes but not an awkward one. And if Peter chokes on his own saliva when Tony orders in fucking italian in front of him, then at least, the man acts like he didn’t see it. And Peter’s happy there’s a table because explaining to Tony why he’s hard right now would have been real awkward.
It becomes a bit more awkward again when the meals arrive. Because Peter gets aroused by how good the food Tony picked for him is. Because Tony looks genuinely satisfied with the fact Peter moans at every bite he takes. And because watching the gorgeous man eating in front of him is also a whole show.
Peter is too occupied staring at Tony to realize he’s missing his mouth with the next bite he takes. The man laughs gently at him and Peter wants to fucking hide under the table because now Tony’ll think he doesn’t know how to eat.
“That’s good huh ? Knew you would like it.”, Tony smiles, after a minute of silence. The smile on Peter’s lips grows automatically. He likes that. He really likes that Tony knew what he’d like. “That’s… the best thing I ever ate mr. Stark!”, Peter answers, beaming with happiness. Even the awkward moments can’t ruin this for him. He’s so happy.
The rest of the evening goes well. So well even. But the more the end approaches, the more Peter can’t help but asks himself if something’s gonna happen or not. Like… Is Tony gonna bring him home ? Is he gonna kiss him ? Even the thought of that is enough to make Peter’s head feel dizzy. He can’t even let himself imagine something more than a kiss would happen. And if he does, he’s gonna combust in front of Tony. And before his mind decides to picture them having sex, Peter shakes his head, his cheeks reddening with both shame and want. He had so many dream about Tony, so many wet dreams about Tony. He has been dreaming about the man since even before they actually meet. And Peter feels like he would cum the second Tony lays a hand on him. That’d be pretty awkward. And then, Peter can’t help but wonder what Tony sees in him. He’s nobody. Tony can have whoever he wants, and still, he chose him. Does Tony know he’s a virgin still ? Would he care ?
“Okay, have you even listened to a word I just told you ?”, Tony asks, a jaded look on his face. Peter realizes the man has been talking to him and blushes in shame. “Im so sorry! I was thinking… I got lost in my thoughts, sorry.”, he apologizes, hoping Tony won’t think he’s boring him.
“Wow, he’s getting invited to the fanciest restaurant ever and still act like it’s not enough. What more do you want Parker ?”, Tony jokes and one part of Peter is happy he didn’t get upset. Another part of him just wanna scream he wants Tony to kiss him once they’re out of the restaurant. But what if Tony wanna take his time ? He doesn’t wanna sound as desperate as he really is.
“I’d really love for a car.”, Peter jokes back, glad he made Tony smile. “Ask and you shall receive.”. And Peter doesn’t know how honest Tony is with this. He hopes the man is joking. But Tony’s intense look in his eyes when Peter said those words is enough to make him realize the man is serious about this. “I was joking, mr. Stark.”, the boy adds, just to be sure he won’t receive a car tomorrow. Tony doesn’t answer anything to that, which is kinda weird, but Peter doesn’t think too much about it.
When the server comes back and asks if they want a dessert, Tony answers for him again. No. This time Tony doesn’t wait for Peter to even asks him, he just orders him something in Italian again.
“I could have asked him for ice cream you know…”, Peter whines, faking a pout. “Oh so he understands Italian now.”. And the smile Tony had on his lips almost all night is making Peter heart feel so light.
“I don’t, but I don’t think I need a italian degree to understand ‘gelato’, old man.”, Peter teases, making himself feels hot all over his body. He sees Tony’s gaze changing a bit too. Is Tony loving this as much as him ? “Brat.”, the man accuses and Peter stops himself to make a punishment joke. They’re not there yet.
The boy is now eating his damn vanilla ice cream and can’t help the blush creeping on his face again. Tony is staring at him. Not watching. Staring. Peter’s senses can feel his intense gaze on him, on his face. And the boy feels like he doesn’t know how to eat anymore. He’s sure he’s putting ice cream everywhere on his lips and wants to die about it.
“Y-You didn’t want to take something ? Huh… dessert or- or coffee ?”, he stutters, to make things less intense, because Peter is seconds away to moan under Tony’s gaze. “Im all good, thanks Pete.”, Tony answers and the boy doesn’t know if he’s dreaming or not but Tony’s voice sounded more… low ? He goes back to eating his ice cream, hoping it’s the last ice cream he’ll ever eat in his life.
When they finally go out, Peter feels drunk. He’s so happy, so nervous and so horny at the same time. He’d say so in love but let’s not brings more awkward to this. They walk in silence to Tony’s car. And just before Tony can open his car, Peter blurts out : “Thank you so much for the dinner mr. Stark! It was really really good and really fun. I liked it… a lot.”, he says, knowing he’s blushing again but doesn’t care at this point. Maybe Tony is waiting for him to make the first move. Because he doesn’t wanna rush him.
“Pleasure was mine, Pete.”, the man answers, a soft smile on his lips. And then, Peter doesn’t even realize what his body his doing, but that should be the good time no ? His heart is pounding so fast and loud in his chest, ears and whole body as he leans and kiss Tony. A smack. Just a smack. Because Peter doesn’t even know how to kiss. It was fast, but enough to make Peter’s heart explodes in his chest.
But then he sees Tony’s face. Tony’s frozen and shocked face. Shit. Did it was too soon ? Did it sucked ? Did Tony expected someone who could actually kiss him ? Peter wants to throw up. ”Mr. Stark ?”, he asks faintly.
“Peter. What… What was that ?”, Tony questions, his tone dangerously flat. “I- I thought… Im so sorry I... You know with the date and all, I thought maybe… maybe it was a good time to kiss you, you know ? Im sorry if Im not a g-”, Peter painfully begins but gets cut by Tony. “Wait- A date ? It wasn’t a date.”, the man says, his voice suddenly high. Peter’s blood turns cold in his whole body.
What ?
“Wh- What ?”, he breathes, voice already trembling. Oh god no. No no no no, this can’t be happening.
“This. That’s- Christ, Peter. It wasn’t a date. I- I didn’t- We’re not- Fuck.”, Tony panics, his voice almost screaming the last bit, stepping back from Peter. Peter who’s still frozen, watching what’s happening in front of him without being able to move.
“Oh god, Im so sorry if I made you think it was a date, kid. Im- It wasn’t my intention.”, Tony tries to apologize, clearly still panicking. The only word echoing in Peter’s brain is kid. Tony hasn’t called him like that for months. And now he’s doing it again.
“Peter, kid. Shit, you can’t cry- I- Peter Im so sorry I shouldn’t-”. And it’s only when Tony says that that Peter realizes tears are rolling down his cheeks. His heart feels heavy in his chest. No. His heart feels completely crushed in his chest. And the humiliation. The boy still stands there, only capable of crying in front of Tony, who’s panicking on his own.
“Kid, you- Im sorry, Im not mad I swear, we can’t- We just can’t. We’re not… that.”. And Peter’s heart feels like breaking again. “D-Don’t call m-me k-kid.”, and it’s the only thing Peter can lets out before fully starting to cry. Small hiccups escaping his lips.
Tony watches in horror, unable to do much. “Peter, im begging you- stop crying, im not mad, you’re- kid I-”, the man starts and if he wasn’t so much in pain, Peter would have been genially shocked to see Tony struggling so much to speak. “Stop ca-calling me a kid!”, the boy almost screams, surprising both himself and Tony. The man steps back again. There’s a silence. A loud one. A painful one.
“Im sorry. It’s my fault if you thought- Jesus, it’s my fault if you mistook this, Peter. Im sorry I let you think this was a… a date. You can’t- it’s not on you, Im not mad.”, Tony speaks again. But it’s only words. Peter’s brain shut himself. He doesn’t understand what Tony is saying to him. He just wants to die.
“But- But I lo-”, he starts, desperately, only to get cut by the man in front of him again. “No. No you don’t. You- Jesus ki- Pete, it’s not-” and there’s a silence again. “It’s not wh-what ? True ? H-How would you know ? And wh-why… what was al-all of this for if-if it was- n’t a.. a da-date ?”, the boy desperately questions, in between cries. Tony’s pained expression intensifies. “Pete, stop crying.”.
“Answer me!”, the younger one screams. He can’t believe Tony. It’s not true. Tony is just being- delusional.
“Christ why are you doing this ? Peter, it was just- just… us.”. Peter never heard Tony’s voice sounding so desperate before today. But he can’t care. He feels like he’s been crushed by a fucking plane right now.
“Us ? Ye-yeah and Im- im saying that us, is me lo-lo-loving you and you- you looking at me with- with that look in your eyes.”. And Peter can sees Tony’s eyes watering. Again, it’d be the first time he sees Tony crying, but he still can’t care. The man just steps back and sighs, passing both of his hands on his face.
“You stopped calling me ki-kid. And- and you order for me- and- and sh-shit! I- I know you like it. I know i-it because I can se-see it, mr. Stark. I- I want- I want you… pl-please.”, Peter cries even harder now, his voice constantly cut by cries. “Please.”, he begs again. And it’s even more painful because Tony doesn’t answers anything. The man just stand in front if him, completely frozen, with a pained expression on his face. But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t deny it. Why doesn’t he deny it ?
And suddenly, Tony’s warms hands are on his cheeks, trying to wipes the endless tears coming out of Peter’s eyes. But the sensation of the hand on his cheeks only makes Peter cry more. “Peter… Peter, baby.. please. You- fuck. You have to stop, alright ?”, Tony whispers, so close to him, but yet so far. baby.
Peter doesn’t realize he leans on the touch, he doesn’t realize Tony’s other hand is clenching hard on his light blue jacket. And despite everything that is happening right now, Peter only wants them to kiss. A real kiss.
But the next thing he feels is Tony’s strong body against him. The man is hugging him and Peter can’t help but hug him back, his cries still loudly getting out. “Peter, please. I can’t. You know I can’t. Im so sorry. I shouldn’t have invited you, I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have let myself- I can’t.”, Tony murmurs those things in Peter’s ear, tightening his arm around the boy’s body and it only hurts Peter more. Why is Tony saying all of this ? What does it mean ?
“Please…”. It’s all what Peter is capable to say. Please love me. He feels Tony’s body, Tony’s warmth getting away and hates it. And the boy can’t take it. It hurts so much. So before Tony can even answer with another apologize, Peter’s wrists move on their own, and the next second he’s not there anymore, he’s on the top of the building next to the restaurant. He has to get away from Tony. He can’t stay there.
And if Peter hasn’t jumped on another building right away, he would have been able to hear Tony whispering on his own. “Pete… I wished you’d understand why this can’t be a date, why I can’t let you love me back.”, finally letting himself cry now that Peter ran away.
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second square for @starkerfestivals 🙈🙈
alright so first of all im so sorry for this fjndldl 😭😭😭 this bingo is challenging me so much tho bc i wrote my first tony fucking peter and now i wrote my first sad ending
its just the first thing that came to my mind seeing ‘not a date’ so i followed my idea
also i edited it three fucking times bc tumblr was being a bitch with me today 🔪
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herotome · 3 years
Note
If you don't mind me asking, what is everyone's morning and night routines? Like any extensive skincare regimens before bed, or reads to get sleepy, or snooze button enthusiasts, or goes straight from bed to the coffee pot/tea kettle? Stuff like that?
Thank you!
Mmmm this is… similar to that ask about sleeping habits but also not at all, huh? If the sleeping habits ask is the yolk, this would be the surrounding egg white… or maybe im just hungry.
Admittedly I have not thought about this at all, so I’m making this up on the spot and it may be subject to change:
Warden: has a hard time waking up (5-6 AM) but does it anyway. Starts every morning by washing his face with cold water, and then immediately gets changed to go for a run (sometimes treadmill, sometimes an outdoor trail; depends how busy he anticipates the day being).
Before bed (1-3 AM) he tries to finish some last minute paperwork or reply to texts (… at 2 AM….).
Griffin: You might see his unironically snarky coffee mugs on days where he hasn’t placed a group coffee order for everybody. Griffin does invest some time into looking Presentable and Smelling Nice every morning (7-8 AM) though – won’t ever be seen wandering around in his pajamas.
Probably lots of stretching exercises for both times; but I also think Griffin is the sort to do strength/core exercises right before bed – push-ups and curl-ups. Then she’ll have a long bath and skincare/lotion routine (11PM-1AM), if she has time for it.
Mia: Takes a lot of time to get ready, so she wakes up very early (4-5 AM) despite being a snooze button enthusiast. Stubbornly sticks to a routine for her make-up, hair, and self-care. She usually tries to make breakfast for everyone by 6 AM.
She goes to sleep early (9 PM-10 PM), so she tends to be visibly checked out in the late evening. Likes to touch up her nails before bed. Never forgets to use make-up remover.
Dart: Agghhh this one’s weirddd because of his graveyard shifttt… He tries to wake up around 8 PM, but to his great annoyance he tends to wakes up earlier (4-6 PM). I don’t think he has a set routine other than making coffee and reviewing his notes/checking in with Griffin to see what he’s missed. Usually he’ll be done with work around breakfast time, so he’ll go to bed anywhere between 10AM – 1 PM… then he’ll just listen to some music until he falls asleep. He takes a lot of cat naps on his days off.
Jade: Hella bedhead, stumbles out of bed around 11 AM-ish whenever she can get away with it. She can get up earlier, she just prefers not to. She will also spend all day wandering around in her pajamas if she can. She procrastinates when it comes to bedtime, and will usually stay up late reading things on her phone.
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kpopluvrsblog · 3 years
Text
You are mine.
Requested: may i request a younghoon fic where he gets really jealous about how y/n and sangyeon had been spending so much time together so once they are alone in the room, he reminds her that she's his.
genre: slight angst, smut, fluff
pairing: younghoon x fem!reader
warnings: unprotected sex(use protection pls!!), daddy kink, degrading, sub reader, swearing, name calling, deep throat, rough sex, spanking/slapping, creampie
A/n: DAMN this shit is long im so sorry-
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You didn't mean for this to happen. You just happened to get along with sangyeon well which led to you guys hanging out more often. Recently you had been invited by sangyeon to come hang out with all of the members for a movie night.
you arrived at their dorms around 7 pm. younghoon opened the door for you but he didnt even say hello. he just glared at you and then walked to the living room. “Thats weird” you mumbled as you took of your shoes. You were wearing a sweatshirt sangyeon had given you when you forgot to bring extra clothes one night. It was huge on you and went to mid thigh length. You just wore shorts underneath so you could be comfortable.
When you made your way into the living room everyone had greeted you but you noticed there was only space on the couch next to sangyeon so you gladly found yourself seated next to him. Younghoon was on the other edge of the L shaped couch so that he was facing you. However he was sandwiched by kevin and juyeon.
The chicken they had ordered finally arrived as you all settled on a scary movie to watch. Hyunjae sprinted back into the living room with his arms full of chicken while eric set the table. Finally the movie is starting.
“Sangyeon” you whispered and he leaned closer eyes still trained on the tv. “ can you maybe cuddle me it’s freezing in here” you contined. Sangyeon looked down at you and noticed that your legs were in fact covered in goosebumps. He grabbed a blanket that was thrown behind the couch and wrapped it around the both of you as he opened up his arms for you to lean into. You placed your head against his arm and continued to watch.
What you both failed to notice was a hot headed younghoon staring at this interaction from afar. “Are you kidding me” younghoon whispered under his breath. “ what?” Juyeon asked slightly looking at him. “Nothing” younghoon responded sharply eyes still set you you wrapped around sangyeon.
Younghoon then saw sangyeon lean closer to whisper something to you and a second after you bursted into small giggles trying to not disturb the movie. This made younghoon livid. “ thats it” he spoke aloud while he took two long strides and yanked you off of the couch, pulling you with him.
“younghoon what is your problem?? Let me go!!” You screeched as he dragged you down the hallway not even sparing you a glance. The rest of the members shared a look of concern before a screech was heard from the tv , scaring them and making them focus back onto the movie.
He pulled you into his room... wait... this isint his room. “Younghoon why are we in sangyeons room?! What is your fucking problem-“
He cut you off by slamming the door shut and shoving you against it with one of his hands beside your head. “What is my problem hm?? Mind telling me why you’re acting like such a fucking slut.” He reached his other hand up to your neck and squeezed roughly making your eyes roll back.
“Oh my you are a fucking slut aren’t you?” He said with a teasing tone. “Answer me.” He demanded. “Younghoon i dont know what you-“ he cut you off with a sharp smack to your cheek. “ thats not my fucking name. Try again” he said.
You know that its better to not disobey him when he’s like this. “ daddy im sorry i didnt mean too” you gasped around his tight grasp on your throat. “ he doesn’t mean anything to me like that. he’s just like a brother to me please im sorry” you continued.
He smirked and loosened his grip around your throat which caused you to start choking. “You’re wearing his fucking sweatshirt too you slut. You wearing that for him hm?” He said as he started to slide both of his hands down your body. “No daddy im sorry i just wanted to be comfortable-“ he cut you off again not wanting to hear your excuse by grabbing the sweatshirt and basically ripping it off of you along with sliding down your shorts as well.
“Y/n” he said sternly while looking you in the eyes. “Yeah?” You replied meekly not wanting to say something and upset him more. “Knees. Now”
You quickly fell to your knees, eyes trained on his hands moving to unbuckle his black jeans. He pulled his jeans and boxers down just enough to pull out his semi hard dick, already having pre cum coat his tip. He pushed your head so the the back of it was touching the wall. He stroked his dick twice then slapped it against your lips. “Remember the safe word baby?” He asked, the dom in him shying away for just a second. “Rose” you replied shortly.
“Open” he grunted. You immediately open your mouth as he shoved his dick down your throat making you gag around him causing him to moan aloud. Your hand moved to grab his thighs for support as he moved closer until your head was trapped tigtly between the wall and his hips.
He rolled his hips slowly. He then grabbed your face with both hands as he started to rut into your mouth at a fast pace with his balls hitting your chin and your head lightly tapping against the wall. “Your such a dirty baby taking my dick down your throat like that. Oh i bet it hurts your tiny little throat”You could only whine and gag around his cock until he suddenly pulled out and pulled you up from your arms.
He smashed his lips onto yours while you were still trying to gasp for air, pussy clenching with the want to be filled and tears streaming down your face. He fully took off his pants and shirt. “Jump” he said as he ripped your panties and unclasped your bra, throwing them somewhere into this poor members room.
You jumped as he placed his hand underneath your ass easily holding you up against the wall. “Damn look at how wet you are from me using your throat Y/n.” He said while rubbing the head of his dick against your throbbing pussy. “Please put it in daddy” you whined.
Wasting no time he settled himself inside of you with one quick thrust causing you to moan loudly. He started to slide in and out of your tight pussy while biting and sucking at your neck and collarbones until deep dark spots were forming. From you being so wet he couldn’t help but pound inside. He quickly got tired of this position though.
He took you from off of the wall and threw you onto the bed. “Get on all fours” he demanded. “ younghoon this is sangyeons bed though this is wrong-“ he slapped your thigh hard leaving a handprint. “Dont piss me off even more y/n, you better get on all fours right fucking now slut.”
You got on all fours as he pulled your hips back to meet his but he didn’t put himself in yet. “Would you like to tell me what you called me not even 10 seconds ago?” He spoke. ‘Oh shit’ you thought in your head. “D- daddy im so sorry please forgive me”
“Fucking dumb slut can’t do anything right” he muttered to himself. He brought down his hand harshly to your ass cheek making you scream in pain. “Count” he said.
After 15 hard smacks he felt satisfied with how raw your ass was for him. He pushed your knees farther apart as he pushed his hard dick back into you. “Fuck still so tight” he groaned. He started to roughly pound you into the mattress making the bed slam into the wall repeatedly, definitely making dents. “Scream for me baby. You’re mine do you understand that? Only my little slut that was made for me to ruin” he groaned loudly.
You easily did as he asked, screaming into the mattress with how his hips met your raw ass.” Tell me baby, you like being fucked on Sangyeons bed huh? He said as his thrusts started to stutter. “YES daddy oh my god i love it. Please im going to cum. You’re going to make me cum.” You kept babbling nonsense as he leaned over you with one arm next to your head and the other reaching around your body to play with your neglected clit.
“Cum for me slut. Make a mess all over sangyeons bed sheets” he moaned loudly. You followed his orders with a loud scream as you released around him spurring him to cum inside of you. He slowly stopped his thrusts when his high came to an end, only to collapse on the bed next to where your aching body was lying.
After a minute of catching your breaths he turned to look at you.” Y/n im sorry I didn’t mean to get so angry. I just didn’t like seeing him touching you like that and especially with how close you guys are-“ you cut him off this time with a soft kiss to his lips. You both lazily smiled as you pulled away. “I shouldn’t have been ignoring you for him though. anyways im sorry for not paying more attention to you younghoon.” You smiled sweetly.
“Let me take care of you okay my sweet baby? I meant nothing that i said during that. You know how much you mean to me.” He replied and then left a soft peck against your forehead while he went to get things to clean up with. He came back in his pajamas with a warm washcloth and lotion in one hand and HIS clothes this time in the other for you to change into.
After cleaning you up he asked” can you turn around for me baby, slowly, I don’t want you to hurt yourself” still naked you turned around while he rubbed lotion onto the red marks he had left on your ass and hips. “I love you” he said when he was done as he kissed your shoulder blades. “I love you too” you smiled back as he started to dress you in a clean pair of his boxers and a t shirt.
You started to feel sleepy as he picked you up and brought you to his room to sleep. On the way there he told sangyeon to sleep on the couch for tonight making half of the members groan in disgust and the other half snicker at his remark. He placed you under the covers and soon after his eyes started to feel droopy as well. You both fell asleep cuddling into each other.
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fandom-obessesive · 4 years
Text
I never told you pt 2
A/n: here’s part 2! if you enjoy this and would like to be tagged for part 3(which will be posted tmr 7/8/20) just leave a little👋 emoji.I hope you guys enjoy and have a great day
Part 1 Part 3 Part 4
Word count: 1160
Warning: Ends on a cliff hanger😢
The rest of the day you had been haunted by the look he gave you, the intensity sending shivers down your spine. You stayed after a bit to get caught up on anything else you had missed along with a promise to Chase about etching out the details for Saturday after you got home, it wasn’t long before you practically threw yourself onto your bed. Maybe it would have just been better if you had stayed home today. Instead of berating yourself any longer on decisions that could not be changed, you instead allowed your eyes to flutter shut, and let sleep take you somewhere less stressful.
Bzzt bzzt…..bzzt bzzt….....bzzt bzzt…………..bzzt bzzt
‘what the fuck’ you thought, irritated at being woken up. Flailing around in your sheets a bit before hearing a thud, you snatched your phone from the floor.
Today 6:43 pm
Heyyyyyy, you make it home okay?
Today 6:46 pm
Its Chase, from lunch by the way
Today 6:51 pm
Sorry that probably sounded a little weird,
a random number texting you to see if you
got home safe
Today 6:58 pm
Anyway, just checking to see if we’re still
on for Saturday haha
Today 7:01 pm
Yeah sorry, ended up taking a nap,
how does 11 sound? We could order
some pizza, maybe study a bit?
Today 7:03 pm
Sounds perfect!!! See you then:)
You smiled at his eagerness, finding it endearing. It felt nice being wanted after these past 2 weeks.
‘Welp, time to torture myself some more’ you thought throwing one of Paul’s sweatshirts on. You loved to steal them, especially since he was a big dude to begin with but always insisted on buying oversized ones. The material seemed to swallow you whole when you wore them. Bringing the fabric up to your face and inhaling, it still reeked of his cologne, pine, and salt.
‘I remember that day’
You and him had gone to the beach, him insisting it was going to rain and you just brushing it off saying it was always cloudy in La Push. He ended up being right and never took it back after seeing you shivering when you got inside his car.
“Don't leave me here, Paul!” You yelled as he got up and started sprinting to his Jeep as it started to pour.
“Wait” you could barely get the word out through your laughter as you got up to start running as well.
“Why are you so slow? You. Would. Be. Useless, if this was the zombie apocalypse” he yelled back jokingly running back towards you, opting to just throw you over his shoulder.
Rushing to the car, your laughter seemed to get louder as he made unintelligible noises trying to simultaneously unlock the car, open the door, and quickly seat you down. As he ducked in, looking over to you he put on as serious of a face as he could manage.
“When the time comes, I’m sorry to say, but you must be sacrificed” he said solemnly, slowly dragging his finger down his cheek.
“Dude if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna pee myself” you wheezed holding your stomach. He soon broke into laughter too, starting the car up. Without a word, he pulled the sweatshirt he had been wearing off before draping it over your head and began the 10 minute ride back to your house.
‘Still nice and warm‘ you thought, pressing your face into it. You pulled it on and smiled at him. The rest of the day had been spent eating junk food and watching The Witcher, with Paul commenting about Geralt's hair and what type of conditioner he uses, Ciri being the new Eleven, and mimicking Jaskiers songs, making his own up for the rest of the day.
That was one of your favorite memories with him, and unfortunately what seemed to now be one of your last. A frown tugged at your lips after the realization. You wondered if there was any way to capture the smell, maybe turn it into a spray so you wouldn’t have to forget.
Not for right now at least.
Running to the kitchen and grabbing some food, you quickly ate wanting to go back to bed so you could have a break from these type of thoughts that seemed to cloud your mind, and once again sleep was your only giver of peace.
----
Friday morning you spent almost a half hour just laying there debating if it was worth it to even go to school and risk a part 2 of yesterday.
‘I’ll just say I’m having a bad day and ask to do my work in the library’ you decided, almost forgetting to change out of his sweatshirt. Throwing on some sweatpants and one of your own sweatshirts, you got in your car and sped to school.
The day passed uneventfully, and just as suspected, you were able to hang out in the library for most of the day, haven been given a pass due to it being Friday.
As day became night, thoughts of Paul filled your mind, and you found yourself growing worried about tomorrow. You just didn’t know if you could afford anything else happening tomorrow.
‘Please let tomorrow go okay, that’s all I’m asking’ with those silent prayers in mind, you went to bed.
—-
11 rolled around sooner than you would have liked and Chase had arrived on the dot. You had to stifle a laugh when you first realized, also trying not to think about if he got here early so he could be on time. True to your word, you guys ordered some pizzas and studied most of the day, but you were also able to learn a lot more about Chase. It was actually kinda nice once he relaxed. He ended up leaving around 7 with an awkward hug and a promise to text you later and you were once again left alone.
‘Fuck this’ running upstairs, you grabbed Paul’s sweatshirt and headed out the back door.
Living near the woods definitely has its perks, like a trail behind your house to a clearing on the cliffs. You had discovered it when wondering around one summer and quickly made it a secret hideout for you and Paul. Paul was even able to bring over a bench that you and him painted. That summer had been one of the best, so carefree and filled with memories.
Making your way up the trail, you seem to have spotted the hunched over figure sitting in your bench a second too late. A little gasp left your mouth before you could stop it. You tried quietly leaving but before you could, he spoke up.
“I was wondering how long it would take him to leave” he said, standing up turning to face you.
———————————————————————
A/n: AHHHH IM SORRY, tmr tmr tmr tmr i promise!😂anyways I hope you enjoyed and don’t forget, if you’d like to be on the taglist simply leave a 👋 down below, thank you for reading, and have a great day😊❤️
Taglist: @chloe-skywalker @chiefjacob @fangirlanotherjust @jelly-fishy-babie @dillybuggg @Britty443 @ineedmorefanfics @lahoete
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Wow, I know translating is hard but, 7 am everyday to feed us content? QAQ Bless you, Vee. I really like your translation, and the way you give us the context of the speech, hell I also like your translator's note up top, cuz I feel like we're fangirling together, I have yet to make a friend in the fandom QAQ. Anyway, thank you for your hard work for all of us😔 you're such an amazing person 💝
I’m an early bird at heart so it isn’t that much of a struggle, haha. I do go to bed between 10 PM and 10:30 PM every night so I still get plenty of sleep, don’t worry! ^^ I’m also the type of person who gets the most work done in the morning, while I take my evenings to relax.
Knowing you enjoy the translator’s notes makes me really happy!! <33 Sometimes I think about putting more but I also don’t want to spam you guys with me rambling about the linguistics of Japanese language, haha!
Also if you ever want to make a friend, my IMs are open. uwu You seem like a genuinely sweet person so I’d love to get to know you better!
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Text
my boyfriend never texts first
Remus just wants to not be the first one to send a message every once in a while. That’s not too much to ask, right?
relationship: romantic remrom, background remy and emile (also romantic)
warnings: major character death, extended mourning (secondary warnings- brief discussion of religious holidays, brief underage drinking mention, a lot of all-caps) notes: unrelated, human, hs/college au. virgil, emile, and remy are here too. If you need anything in the secondary warnings (or one of those latter three characters) edited out, please let me know and I can put that up for you!
____________________________________________________
Remus always texted him first. Always. It didn’t matter the situation, didn’t matter the time date place name face. Who what when where why. It first started when he texted hi roman :) when they first got phones; for whatever reason, Roman just never texted first. Either he’d call or they’d talk in person.
No matter. Remus could cope.
May 1:
8:37 PM tody i saw you by my locker 8:39 PM *today 8:42 PM why didnt you say hi?
May 2:
9:30 PM a teacher talked to me today 9:30 PM wanted to talk about how i’m doing after 9:52 PM well you know. he’s a sick bastard
Really, it wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? He just wanted to see him text first once in a while! May 7:
3:32 PM: by the way idk if you got this last time 3:36 PM: my class ring size is the medium 3:44 PM: hopefully you order it by the deadline :P 4:03 PM: no idea when the deadline is 4:20 PM: bLAZE IT 4:24 PM: sorry i have like 0 money so i got it from the consignment shop 4:31 PM: i hope you like synthetic rubies!! leaving them with ur dad 10:40 PM: update. i cried for four hours with your dad.
June 2:
7:30 AM: gRaDuAtIoN dAy!!! 7:32 AM: there’s cookies in the reception menu 7:35 AM: snickerdoodles your favorite [eyes] 10:02 AM: i’m getting some for u 10:05 AM: [kissy face] 7:40 PM: the announcement was Weird 7:43 PM: anyways i have the snickerdoodles (Remus couldn’t go over to where Roman was staying, so he left them in the living room. He knew Roman would appreciate them. Hopefully he’d come over (wait, probably not, given...))
Well, actually, he could understand why he never texted first. June 11:
12:14 PM: roMAN 12:16 PM: [Attachment: Remus_Picani-Kleitman_Acceptance_Letter.pdf] 12:18 PM: YEAHHHH 12:24 PM: I’m sure you got in too SEND ME YOURS WHEN YOU GET IT 12:32 PM: WE MIGHT SHARE A ROOM YEA 12:35 PM: [Attachment: celebration.jpg]
Everyone was probably saying that he ought to just move on, but to be honest, he couldn’t... Actually, to be honest, no-one had told him to move on to his face yet. In fact, everyone was surprised he was doing so well, given how bad the circumstances were! The situation was stressing him out so much, even his dads were gently advising him to rethink things. (Well, that was part of the territory with one of them being a therapist and the other being a barista.)
“I got y’all some kouign-amann from the cafe,” said Dad, putting it down on the counter. His shirt had SLEEP scrawled on it with a Sharpie; it was the one that Remus had made for him as a joke. He still wore it. Huh.
“Sweetie, what’s a queen amahn?” asked Papa.
“It’s a... er, it’s like a... this is kinda like a croissant that had dreams of a muffin tin and salted caramel. One for you, babe.... then one for Doodlebug-”
“Can I leave some for Roman?” asked Remus.
They exchanged a glance.
“Of course you can,” said Papa with a smile. “Your candle’s on the table. Also, I got the news about being accepted into university? Good job, kiddo. You know, that was your father’s alma mater.”
“Are you sure you want to go to school right away after...? No problem taking a gap year.”
Papa glared at Dad. “Be nice.”
“I’m sorry, Remus, it’s just...” Dad put down his coffee. “If you’re not ready, if you need more time-”
"I’m sure,” said Remus with a grin, trying to get rid of what he just remembered. “Trust me.”
“Please find a good way to put away the snickerdoodles, they’ve been there since last week!” shouted Papa.
June 12:
12:12 AM: its twelve twelve make a wish 12:15 AM: hey when does your phone bill go out? 12:20 AM: im just saying that would Explain some things 12:22 AM: i know your dad pays Everything like a year in advance 12:34 AM: tell him i say hi 12:34 AM: 12:34 MAKE A WISH
July 12:
3:30 PM: guess who’s a double major in bio and theatre!! 3:32 PM: marine biology babey 3:53 PM: it’s good for the SOUL 4:04 PM: this cute octopus reminded me of you by the way 4:10 PM: [Attachment: for_roman]
August 14:
6:24 PM: moving in is the Worst 6:32 PM: by the way i got a single 6:35 PM: no roommates 6:41 PM: still have the bunk tho 6:44 PM: also got ur favorite pillo
August 30:
2:12 AM: roman it is like two o’clock in the morning what the Heck are you doing here, 2:15 AM: if u see me wave Hi 2:32 AM: ok >:c 2:42 AM: dont mind Me just studyin on top of the planetarium 3:15 AM: tbh i didn’t even know we go to the same campus? haven’t seen you around or anything 3:17 AM: shit phones gonna di
September 28:
2:20 PM: i failed my test 2:22 PM: idk what to d 2:24 PM: *do
September 29: 7:30 PM: remember that octopus you gave me that eats negative emotions? 7:32 PM: it works!!
October 3:
1:10 PM:  You’d like the theatre program, really 1:15 PM: just so u know they’ve listed your name as an ‘honorary member of the class of’ 1:19 PM: that’s really nice of them. idk if your dad knows
October 23:
9:45 AM: i had to explain one of our inside jokes 8( 9:52 AM: i can’t Explain the deodorant thing that was One Time 9:55 AM: also why i’m called The Duke 9:56 AM: its bc you said it. not my fault 9:58 AM: its still cute pls call me that still 9:59 AM: pancake brunch pancake brunch pancake brunch October 31: 6:12 PM: sun’s down! joyous samhain 6:15 PM: i remember when you sewed me that octopus btw, the one that eats ucky feelings 6:19 PM: how long did it take you to get the laurel sachet into it?? 6:34 PM: also thank you thank you thank you for helping me find a friendly church to celebrate all saints day 6:47 PM: that year was a NIGHTMARE because you forgot to get your white candles and carnelian, and i forgot my holy water, so we were driving around town like Madmen 6:59 PM: it was worth it though 7:03 PM: i left you a script, i think you’ll like it.
November 9:
11:19 PM: i miss you so so much.
November 10:
12:20 AM: ignor this i drank like 12:24 AM: a lot 1:15 AM: i’m sorry i should’ve been with you 1:22 AM: i shouldve been there With You. 1:45 AM: but i wasn’t 2:20 AM: i didn’t know thered be a 4:11 PM: shit i just saw these. Sorry to bother you December 2:
10:10 AM: hey roman, been a bit. yea sorry about last time. too much of the Alcohol 10:13 AM: gonna go over to my parents’ house 1:00 PM: if you wanna come over, you can. dad’s making snickerdoodles and papa’s gonna watch atla (yes i still have that dvd you got me do not @ me it’s with your candles on your table just like everything else) 1:03 PM: that was on the dot, i’m happy.
December 21
8:34 AM: hey, it’s snowing 9:13 AM: couldn’t help leaving you some hot cocoa. and snickerdoodles of course 10:12 AM: i love you Remus went to go help his dads with making breakfast, but by the time everyone was done cleaning and they had finished watching some shitty Hallmark movie, he remembered that he had left his phone upstairs. Going upstairs and looking at it, he felt something in him break.
[2 Unread: Roman <3, bf’s dad]
10:22 AM, Roman <3: Why are you texting this number? 11:15 AM, bf’s dad: Remus, disregard that last, I’m so sorry. I just found his phone and I saw only the recent message first
The phone started ringing. Remus answered it as quickly as he could.
“I’m so sorry Mr. Sanders I didn’t know that someone was actually getting these messages I thought the line was out,” he said within a few seconds before the person on the other side sighed.
“No, it’s quite all right. And Virgil’s all right, by the way, if you prefer. I... I was just looking through his things for the first time. You know, it being a holiday and all... Memories, things like that.”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“I just turned the phone back on, I’m getting a lot of messages.”
“Oh.” Remus stared at the wall, trying to come to terms with everything. “Well, I--”
“I’m not going to stop paying for his phone. I’m sorry, I just... I still have his voicemails on it, and I can’t stand the thought of it going offline either.”
“Right, I... I listen to it too.”
“I happened upon the last one he sent to you.”
“You looked at the messages?”
“I only looked over when I stopped getting new ones, but I saw the last question he sent you. For your ring size.”
“Yeah? He asked my ring size so that he could--”
“There’s no easy way to say this, but.. I found something of his. Can you come over?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t, but can you please tell me what it was? Please?”
“I really think I should tell you this in person.”
“Please, Mr. Sanders. Please, I... I can’t manage that.”
He sighed. “All right, Remus. I found an early acceptance letter to SJAU, and... and a ringbox.”
Remus felt his grasp on the phone grow weak. It fell onto the bed, Mr. Sanders’ voice still clear.
“I think he was going to ask for you to....”
“No, we... We were just out of high school, I-- that doesn’t make sense.”
“He always was one for those romantic gestures. There’s some poems here, too. A life-plan. I’m not sure exactly what malacology is, but--”
“Mollusks. Like octopi and squids.. Sorry for cutting you off, what was that?”
“Some of it’s in your handwriting, but one of the entries is ‘ask him’, for the day after... you know.”
God, he could hear his sad smile through the phone. He knew exactly how Mr. Sanders looked right now just talking to him, probably wearing that hoodie that was too big on him, in a dusty room full of things that used to belong to the most vibrant person that Remus had ever met.
But then Roman had died.
He was the most wonderful person, and he had just died.
“I’ll come over to deliver the ring to you. Is that okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s... that’s fine. Uh, call my dads first, though. They’re still not convinced I’m doing okay.”
“I understand. I’ll talk to you later, Remus.”
“Thank you, Mr. Sanders.”
The line went dead in his hands.
Remus held himself and wept.
December 28:
12:30 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: Mr. Sanders, would you like to come over for our New Year’s party? 12:34 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: It’s a tradition we had. You don’t have to if you’d rather not. 12:45 PM, Virgil Sanders: I’d love to go.
January 1:
12:00 AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 12:05 AM: [Attachment: :)] 12:07 AM: we are all smiling in this photo and for that i think we deserve a hug. 12:10 AM: this rings the most beuatifl thing i’ve ever fuckign seen. thank you,, 12:14 AM: never gonna get rid of it <3 12:16 AM: it looks Good on my finger 12:30 AM: jsyk your dad’s asking my dads for the kouign amann recipe 12:32 AM: thats a pastry, i left those for u a while back 12:39 AM: okay i’m crying a bit but honestly, i love u 12:44 AM: I love you so so so much, Roman
Somewhere out there, whether it was from some wonderful paradise or beyond the veil or even only in wishful thoughts, Remus knew that someone was saying I love you too.
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