#my back is aching right now hahaha

[like-a-diamondinthesky]

cocoon | k.s.m

pairing... bf!seungmin x gn!reader tags... hurt/comfort, established relationship, angst with a happy ending!!! soft seungmin 💞 cw... crying, reader is tired and burned out, self-indulgent!

co•coon noun | a protective or comforting covering see also: kim seungmin

wc... 948 words a/n... huge credits to heather for getting me out of my writing slump HAHAHA i tried a different writing style here, let me know what you guys think!

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Tears are threatening to spill out of your eyes and your hair is all disheveled from the amount of times you ran your fingers through it out of frustration. Your aching back is slouched and you just want to take a hot shower, bury yourself in the covers, and sleep all your problems away. As soon as you enter your apartment, you make a beeline for the bathroom and take a quick, steaming shower. You let the stinging drops fall from the showerhead and trail down your skin, washing the remnants of your shampoo and soap away.

Hastily, you enter your bedroom and grab Seungmin's biggest hoodie from his side of the dresser. You slip it on, wearing nothing else than your underwear, drowning yourself in a cocoon of his scent. You nestle in the soft fabric, immersing yourself in the smell of the coffee beans and vanilla lotion that you’re all too familiar with. Not long after you lie down under the covers, you hear shuffling in the living room, muffled by the closed door in between. After a short few seconds, the door creaks open and Seungmin enters the bedroom, his hair damp from his after-practice shower. One look at your red, tired, glossy eyes and he knows just how exhausted you are, so he quietly slips into bed beside you, enveloping his arms around your figure as he pulls you flush against his chest. The room falls silent for a moment, then the cork pops loose and your emotions begin to pour out.

He doesn't utter a word as the sobs violently start to escape your mouth, the heart-wrenching echoes bouncing off the walls. He runs his hands up and down your back and arms, silently soothing you as you let it all out. Once your cries gradually get less abrupt, he pulls you back a bit and tips your head up so he can look you in the eye. He holds your gaze as he brings his hands to your face and wipes the tears away with his thumb, gently caressing your cheeks. Softly, he whispers, "You're so strong, my angel. I know you can get through whatever is causing you trouble. You don't have to talk about it right now, but I’ll be right here when you're ready. Just keep pushing through."

He knows how you’ve been struggling. He takes your trembling hands from where they were resting folded in your lap. After brushing his lips against your knuckles, he brings your hands to wrap around his neck, returning his own to rest on your waist as he leans his forehead against yours. The feeling of endless hard work, endless pain, endless difficulties; he’s been there. He knows how tempting it can be to give up, however, he believes you'll persevere. Why? Because you always do, you just need a little reminder.

“You know, butterflies weren’t always beautiful,” he comments softly, causing your brows to furrow. Seungmin smiles softly as he continues, “They start off as caterpillars, which, by the way, I think look really ugly and scary.” You let out a choked giggle. “They’re all fuzzy and have too many legs for my comfort—anyway. They go through a lot of hardships and challenges as a caterpillar. Then they wrap themselves in a tight, silky cocoon, just like you right now; all wrapped up in my hoodie that’s like ten sizes too big on you.” You roll your glassy eyes, letting a few more tears streak down your cheeks. Seungmin wipes them right away. “Right, so, in that cocoon, they transform. They keep with them all their experiences, everything they’ve learned, and then they emerge as beautiful, majestic butterflies.” He presses a soft peck to your lips. “You will be that butterfly, my love. At the end of all the pain you’re facing right now, it will all be worth it. Your hard work will pay off, trust me.”

The sobs you let out are fractured, separated by your deep inhales as you slowly try to catch your breath. Seungmin is firm in consoling you because, in this time of vulnerability and weakness, he is your pillar. He maintains eye contact while he coaxes deep and steady breaths out of you, his warm hands cradling your face. When you manage to croak out a strangled, but coherent, “I’ve always liked butterflies," he pulls you back to his chest as he resumes stroking his hand over your head.

The sweet little nothings Seungmin whispers into your ears are a melodic string of comfort. He kisses your forehead as the last of your cries start to die down and you finally fall asleep in his arms. Gently, he lifts you off his lap, making sure not to break your hold on his neck. He positions your head to rest snugly on top of your pillow and he pulls the duvet tight around the two of you, making a cocoon containing your intertwined bodies.

When you wake up the next morning, Seungmin still has you protected in his grasp, your limbs wrapped together under the blanket. He jokes about how you're a bit gross for sleeping on his chest when his shirt is painted by your tears and snot. You giggle and whisper out a half-sincere apology as he peppers kisses all over your puffy eyelids. Before the two of you officially start your day, you remain nuzzled in each other’s tangled arms as the birds chirp and the sunlight peeks its way through the curtains. You tell him, “I love you, Seungmin. Thank you for being here.” And he replies, "I love you, too, dummy. You're always safe with me. Don't ever forget that, please.”

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taglist: @kflixnet @jinnixxn @elllisaaa @captainchrisstan @laylasbunbunny @starsandrqindrops @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy

comments, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated! © like-a-diamondinthesky 2023

#k-labels #kflixnet #kim seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids seungmin #skz x reader #skz seungmin #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #seungmin comfort #seungmin fluff #seungmin angst #seungmin stray kids #・₊✧ written in the stars #this is super self indulgent #can you tell

[ghostieyanyan]

yandere ruggie bucchi!

pls

hehe~~ i love writing about yandere beasts~ hehe~ this is a little shorter than some of my fanfics but I hope you like the art for it! (I’m proud of it ^^)

~The Bite~

Yan!Ruggie x mc

Warnings: yandere, bite marks, biting, stalking, chasing, pin down, struggle

~~~~~

You always have to remember... you are human and magicless at that. You always have to stay aware of your surroundings. You always have to be careful with going out at night.

Of course you have grim, ace, and deuce. but they like to get themselves into trouble and sometimes you cant help them.

So tonight, you were walking home... alone. you didn't mean to, it was just you were helping Jack and Epel, then Dire Crowley needed help, and it just piled up for you. Before you knew it, when you finished, it was pitch dark outside. Only well lit lanterns here and there but still. It was dark enough for the long unnerving shadows to give you chills.

You took a breathe and started to head to the dorm... normally you'll have grim talking your ear off with food, or assignments, or the "just you wait, ill become the most powerful mage in all of twisted wonderland!!" speech.. but now you have to walk and just listen to your footsteps on the ground.

Beside it being cold, it was a lovely night. the sky was clear and you could see the stars and moon nicely. it definitely help ease your nerves.

Sadly that didn't last long..- you walked past some forest, right before your dorm, and you heard some rustling. you would have just thought it was just a small critter... if it didn't make a loud thud and have a gargling growl.

you felt your blood run cold and shivers down your spine. practically every fiber in your body told you to run! you were about to- but you then remember something that rook said a while back...

"Some animals, when they see something go by fast, their instincts tell them to chase it! even before they know what they're chasing~! isn't that fascinating~?"

In this moment, NO, its not fascinating!!!

so instead of doing a full sprint, you went for a speed walk? maybe whatever that thing is, it'll leave you alone?

Ohhh hahaha... your hopeful thinking. Ya, no. whatever that THING was, stopped whatever it was doing and you could practically feel it's eyes piercing right through you.

You could barely get another step in before you heard it rush towards you. your auto-pilot kicked in and you booked it home, you didn't even dare yourself to turn around and look behind you. you ran like you never ran before. your feet ached by how much pressure your putting on the ground. next time, Deuce and Jack invites you out for a jog. maybe you'll tag along next time... that is if you live.

you made it to your dorm and slammed the door behind you. your chest was practically about to pound out of your chest. it felt like you were gasping for air through a straw. you were sitting against the front door on the doormat. you had to give yourself a few minutes before you could do anything.

what were you gonna do..?

when you finally got enough air to calm your heart rate a bit. you peeked outside... all you saw were the lights of the lanterns by your dorm...

no one was there...

you quickly ran to find any unlock doors and windows and quickly lock them! you also grabbed the phone that Cater gave you and called Jack and Epel. it took a bit and they weren't happy to be woken up but after hearing your shaken voice and begged to come to the ramshackle dorm, their angry turned to concern.

they told you they're on the way and told you to sit tight.

so you waited.

what were your suppose to do as you wait..? you could recheck the windows and door? you could also get a weapon, too! ya!

you rushed to the kitchen to grab a pan, and checked all the doors and windows again. you even checked the upstairs windows. you were in a magical world, you are not gonna stop and think about logic on how anyone will get to the top floor!

Good thing you did check though... Well unfortunately, your bedroom window was wide open.

you felt the cold wind blow through the window, you held the pan close to you as you slowly stepped away from the window. but your back hit something.. it was definitely not a wall! this thing wrapped it's arms around you and pushed you down on the ground. you tried to fight this intruder off but it was met with your limps being pinned and your pan being thrown across the room.

you couldn't turn and look at this person but you knew they weren't human. their sharp nails dug into your wrist. their knees on the back of your thighs so you are unable to move.

This monster, lowered themselves to you and spoke.

"Shye he he...~ you're such good prey~"

he probably felt your body freeze in realization but he didn't give you a second to think about it as he took his chance and sink his teeth on the back of your neck.

you let out a painful scream until your voice eventually gave out and you've succumb to the pain. you felt light headed and your vision began to blur. your limps became cold from poor blood circulation.

but before you fell into unconsciousness you heard Ruggie whispers his parting words...

"see you next time, prefect~"

~~~

when you woke up, you were in your bed. you slowly sat up and felt the unpleasant feeling of blood rushing in your head. you noticed the sunlight shining through your room and that the window is now closed.

you thought to yourself. that was a horrible dream...

but if it WAS just a horrible dream..? why is Jack and Epel sleeping on the floor in your room..?

and why is your neck patched up....

~

~

Without text

~

#twst #twst headcanons #twst wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #yandere twst #twst fanart #art #digital art #ruggie x reader #twst ruggie #twisted wonderland ruggie #ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucci x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #tw yandere #twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland

[yourmidnightlover]

good vibrations

pairing: xavier thorpe x fem!reader

summary: you love been pent up for weeks now and just needed a quick release when you get interrupted by your best friend…

warnings: !not proofread! vibrators used (hahaha get it? the title), kinda simpy/puppy-esc xavier, unprotected piv, kinda bossy reader?

a/n: this is kind of a shortie, but it was in my head. i might revisit the idea and rewrite it much better, but we shall see. double post tonight… isn’t it wild??? anyways, enjoy, my loves <3

you knew xavier would be coming by soon to go with you to jericho for a late night outing. you just couldn’t help yourself.

you hadn’t been able to get yourself off for three weeks due to exams and everything going on. it didn’t help that your best friend, who you loved, always wanted to hang out. and you loved hanging out with him too! just not when you were horny as hell and absolutely had to get yourself off soon or you would explode.

at this point nothing would stop you from pulling out your vibrator and turning it on the lowest setting to get yourself worked up. god, the way it feels against your clit is perfect, even more so as you turn it up a level... again, and again until it's at its highest setting.

but it was still extremely hard to explain as he barged into your dorm, "you ready to go..." his eyes were trained on your vibrator positioned right between your legs, focused on that sensitive little nub that's been aching for days. you really weren't sure how he hadn't heard the vibrator from outside, it was on the highest setting. "yet?" his voice rose nearly three octaves as he spoke.

"i..." you had already switched the vibrator off before you froze for a second. you noticed him swiftly turning around, mumbling apologies as you covered yourself with your blanket, throwing your head back with a groan. "gahhh!" you practically growled. "I JUST WANT TO CUM, XAVIER!"

"ohhh my god," he swiftly switched back to reality as he began to walk towards the door.

"wait..." you told him as his hand was on the doorknob. "look, i'm sorry. i've just been a bit... frustrated and pent up the past few weeks. I figured i would take care of it before we went out because i really thought i was going to explode... anyway, i'm sorry."

"you-you don't have any reason to be," he shook his head as he turned towards you. "i mean it's natural for that to... y'know, yea. i mean i do it too, so i definitely know the feeling of needing that... release."

"exactly!" you sighed, glad that he wasn't repulsed by your actions... some people were weird about female masturbation. "do..." your mind began to wander. "do you feel that need right now?"

"y/n, i..." he ran his hand through his hir before taking a seat at your desk. "you don't know what you're even saying."

"then let me rephrase," you tossed your sheets off of your body, exposing your bare chest and body to him once more, "you can sit at the desk and watch me finish and then we'll go to jericho, or, we could help each other out with our frustrations?" you glanced down at his crotch, primarily the impressive bulge that only continued to grow.

"i-uh," you could see his chest beating harder as he eyed your pussy. "would-would that even be aright? like.. would that be alright with you?"

"do you know how long i've wanted this?" you sat up on the bed, your legs bent and wide open. "do you know what i was thinking about?" he shook his head 'no.' "i was thinking about your long fingers. about how long they are, how deep they would get inside me. god, i thought about you underneath me. how bad i want to sit on your hard dick and hear your moans."

"y/n," his breathing became audible as you now rose to your knees, reaching out to him as he approached you. you grasped his shirt's collar. "i really want you."

"thank fuck," you sighed as you let one hand cup the side of his neck, keeping eye contact as you leaned in until his lips finally touched yours.

his hands immediately went to your hips, gripping them hard enough to leave marks. he seemed hungry, starving even, for your touch. he began to roll his hips into yours before you used your own to roll him over on the bed, you hovering atop him.

"i think i'm gonna explode," his voice came out as a whimper, a beg for you to do something. "you're so perfect. always been perfect to me," your lips were attacking his neck, your hands working at his pants. "god, this must be a dream," his hands were roaming in your hair. "if it is a dream then i don't wanna wake up. not ever."

"xavier?"

"mhmm," your eyes finally met his with a kind but eager smile.

"help me get your pants off," you urged him, not even realizing that you had began to grind down on his legs. "now."

"mhmm-yea... yes," he lifted his hips for you so you could pull the elastic band down easier.

when you saw his dick spring up against his stomach the only word that came to your mind were: "holy fuck."

"wh-what is it?" he was now wearing a worried expression as if something had gone wrong, or he was disappointing in any way.

you grabbed his cock that was already leaking precum and began to lazily stroke it, "it's perfect, xay," you pressed one more kiss to his mouth before lining him up with your center. "so fucking perfect," you dragged your pussy up and down his dick as you asked, "condom? i'm clean and on birth control and i just… i just really need this."

"no, just... just do it," he nodded eagerly as his hands wandered over your body, grabbing at your breasts and hips. "please, y/n?"

you waited no longer, letting your pussy glide over his shaft, encompassing it in your own warmth. his mouth opened wide, small whimpers leaving his mouth before he clamped it shut, now biting down on his lip.

"god, it's so good," you let the thought that's been in your mind the past ten minutes of making out, the tension getting to you. "so good for me, xay," one hand was raking through his hair, gently tugging at the strands as the other was on his chest, used to keep yourself propped up.

"this really is heaven," he sighed as he threw his head back. "please don't stop," his hand went to the side of the bed, grabbing your vibrator before connecting it to your clit.

"holy fuck, that's so amazing, xavier," your body began to get out of rhythm, your hips staggering with every move you made.

"i've had dreams of this," he began to let his hips thrust up and down to meet your own. "god, i can feel the vibrating through your pussy. i've dreamed of this every way possible," he held onto you as your upper body collapsed on his chest, now letting his hips to all the work.

"i'm gonna-fuck," your arms were only tightening their hold around his neck. "i'm cumming, oh fuck-i'm cumming! don't stop, xavier, oh god!" you turned your face into his neck as your moans persisted.

"you feel so good, holy shit," his hips began to stutter as he fucked you through your high, bringing him to his own release. "where-fuck-where do you want it?"

"inside," you grasped tighly onto his hair, gently tugging on the roots. "need it inside."

"fuck," his hips stuttered once more as he filled your insides with his cum, letting a few more strokes fuck it all inside you.

you had a dazed smile plastered on your face when you muttered, “we’ve gotta do that more.”

#xavier thorpe fic #wednesday #xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe smut #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe x reader smut #xavier thorpe fanfiction #xavier thorpe imagine #xavier thorpe fluff #xavier thorpe wednesday #wednesday xavier thorpe #netflix #netflix wednesday #wednesday netflix

[sanjisblackasswife]

ℂ𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕞

Ft. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji

Bad Summary: You catch them playing with themselves to you.

Cw: SMUT, All consensual , Established relationships, Sanji does Panty Stealing, Zoro is looking at Seuxal Pictures, Luffy is Watching You

Luffy

Luffy was never the type to have shame. Any shame he did have was long diminished after he started dating you.

“Put…ah! Your fucking fingers inside yourself.”

Like now.

Like clockwork Luffy is behind the creaked bathroom door squinting his eyes to focus on the slutty sight before him.

“Lu…”

Two fingers making messy circles on your soft worn clit in the bath tub. It’s been about 1 week of no sex time with your boyfriend so the little time you do have to relax. You use it thinking about him.

It’s been 4 days of this routine so far and by the second day you found out your boyfriend was a true pervert you decided to give him a show.

It wasn’t hard to find out, right after getting out the tub you noticed the door opened and his hat left on the floor.

He was always horrible at stealth. Plus his moans didn’t seem to be so quiet either.

Tonight, you grew tired. It was fun at first to have him watch you moan his name, aching and wishing your fingers was his tongue instead but now you crave the real thing.

Opening your eyes, you and Luffy’s lowered lids meet, and in an instant you see his head vanish, you knew he was panicked so you giggle.

“You can’t watch me forever, Lu…come here.”

Peaking his head back in, cheeks flustered and bangs almost covering his eyes he eases his way in, your eyes widen to see him COMPLETELY naked trying to cover his dick but the closeer got to you the more his hands moved back down.

“How’d you know I was watching you.”

“Because I know how you sound when you’re moaning—“

“I DO NOT MOAN, YOU DO WAY MORE THAN ME!” He pouts crossing his arm, his dick springing up still hard and blushing which makes you burst out laughing

“HAHAHA! Fine, just come in here I’m tired of using my fingers.”

“I bet you are. You’re bad at it anyways—“

“Excuse you!”

Luffy giggles jumping into the bath with you, your arms immediately are thrown around his neck for multiple kisses as he hovers over you in the warm water since you missed him so much before getting to the part you both been waiting for and needless to say you proved him right.

You do in fact moan more than he does.

Sanji

Such a pervert

such a damn pervert.

He has been stealing your panties from the day you allowed him to be your boyfriend.

You never knew for what exactly, a trophy? A good luck charm? You didn’t care to ask, he was a pervert and you knew it before you got with him so it didn’t matter.

But this evening you finally figured it out

Sanji thought you were too busy hanging out with the girls that he didn’t want to steal you away. Which was no bother for him seeing as he had the perfect material to help him out when he is in need.

“Shit…” His breathing was shaky and slightly muffed from how he was pretty much smothering himself in your scent. Your pretty used thong right under his nose, he just couldn’t stop himself from moaning into the fabric.

Sanji knew it was wrong, even filthy but it all was too good, he imagined you in them, fingering yourself and crying out his name, maybe you’ve actually done it in those panties specifically. You have told him you do it from time to time when he’s busy and that thought alone causes him to pump his cock faster.

Even to do it on your side of the bed drove him insane he just didn’t want to stop but he had to quickly or else—

“Havin’ fun?”

You couldn’t hear the concealed scream from your boyfriend. Trying to hide your panties rather than his dick standing tall and proud in front of you.

“I-I um! I—“

“Stop stuttering you look a mess.” You close the door and lock it behind you to crawl on top of him, “You had to be naked to do all this?”

“I…my love I was…I just…I miss—MPH!”

You knew whatever bullshit excuse was ganna annoy you so you decided to shut him up with a kiss, not too long after you hand wonders to his cock giving it gentle strokes causing Sanji to whimper in your mouth and buck his hips.

He’s so pathetic and it turns you on so much.

“I knew wearing this skirt would have stirred something in you.”

“H-how’d you know…I-I-I mean you do look ravishing —“

“Yeah. I know I do…which is why I felt you eye fucking me since breakfast.”

Sanji couldnt have been more embarrassed, but you didnt seem to mind. It was a form of flattery to you.

“Well.” You throw off your top and toss your bra, the pervert’s eyes widen in shock to see your perked nipples at eye level “Lemme help you finish. I’m pretty sure my panties arent as good as the real thing yeah?”

Your love cook couldn’t have been more blessed to have a girlfriend just as pervy as him seeing as you began to stroke his shaft grinning beside his ear.

“Lemme hear some more moans of my name, Ji…please.”

“I—Ah!”

“Oooohhh Y/N! shit!”

“Good…hmmmm boy baby…”

He sounded even prettier with your slit rubbing against his shaft.

Zoro

He’s so full of shit lmao.

He teases you about playing with yourself to the thought of him but his ass uses pictures of YOU to get off.

You once gifted Zoro a few …provocative pics of you completely naked and at first he was a stuttering mess,

“I CAN’T HAVE THESE WHAT IF USOPP OR THAT EROCOOK GETS AHOLD OF EM?!”

“Then hide em.”

“YOU—!?”

He kept them, but swore to you he will burn them.

Well. It’s been 2 months and he haven’t lit up nothing yet.

“Fuck—“

You of course none the wiser didn’t know, he would use the spare time he had after a workout to use sometimes to …

blow off more steam..

His groans were nothing less than low, you were coming to see him because you missed him but the noises he was releasing from your room made you almost break your neck trynna see

“Fuck..FUCK!”

You gasp, of course that’s where go disappears to after training. Bastard didn’t even shower, laying all sweaty on your bed.

his wet tank top over his head

panting

face blushed looking at the lewd photos of your pussy

moaning your name

“Fuck it.”

You walk in and he looked at you like a deer in headlights, all you could do was smirk

“GET OUT!”

“IT’S MY ROOM YOU PIECE OF SHIT—“

“….”

“…”

“….don’t…”

You lock the door behind you, not wasting no time to crawl on his strong bare legs to straddle him, “Don’t what? Don’t say anything? Don’t say anything about you being so obsessed with me you didn’t even—“

He tried shutting you up with a kiss, and you ALMOST FOLDED but no. You had him in such a rare form you had to pull back.

“Uh huh. I wanna savor how shitty you are.”

“ME?! WHY—“

“BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WAS GANNA BURN THESE AND LOOK AT YOU!”

You tease your finger tips up from his balls to his tip, playing with the stickiness of his precum that always riled Zoro up. He was so cute squirming below you.

“Well. Are you ganna suck it or not.”

“PFFFTTTHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!…You think you ganna get it that easy?! Not from the shit you pulled, making fun of me for playing with myself but here you are doing the same.”

You push yourself off of him to take off your panties and face him with your legs spread teasing your clit as his eyes grow 2 times wider, cock already twitching.

“You’ll have to give me a show first.”

#sanji #sanjionepiece #one piece #black reader #one piece x female reader #female reader #black foot sanji #x female reader #one piece headcanons #one piece smut #sanji imagine #sanji x black reader #sanji x reader #one piece x black!reader #one piece scenario #zoro headcanons #zoro hcs #sanji smut #law #law one piece #law smut #ace smut #zoro smut #luffy smut #one piece zoro #law imagine #law headcanons #law scenarios #zoro scenario #zoro x reader

[live-laugh-lenney]

loving the dad george content but what would arthur be like as a dad??

i was waiting for this to come in, hahaha. :')) we need to go into more detail on this trope like we did with girl-dad!george. i think it's a desperate need, too... i can already feel my mind racing with ideas...

"how?"

"arthur, for god sake, do you really need me to answer that?"

he gulps back the thick lump in his throat that sat low, head aching and he felt constricted and tight with the headphones that hung around his neck, the main channel video he was editing going long forgotten about on his screen. and she can see the colour of his cheeks vanish. and she was thankful he was sat down because she was certain he would have passed out once she told him the news.

she didn't want to take the test at his place... but it was a burden on her mind as the pregnancy test box sat in her handbag, hanging on the back of the chair tucked underneath his desk in his bedroom, and she just needed an answer. having felt sick for the last few weeks, waking up feeling nauseous and unable to keep her breakfast down her, it was either a serious matter of needing a doctor to take a look at her or she had fallen pregnant... she wanted it to be the former but she had a gut feeling it was the latter.

"but-"

"i know. we were careful."

and they always were.

he had a stack of condoms in his bedside table for when they got a little carried away. she was on the pill.

except that one night, coming home from a party thrown to celebrate a birthday, where they stumbled into his flat drunk and desperate for each other, ripping off their clothes and leaving a trail right up to his bedroom door. it was quick, lust-filled, drunk. neither one of them in the mood for foreplay. she didn't remember reaching for protection, she didn't remember him taking a moment to wrap himself up, she didn't remember sliding it on for him or watching him take it off... so she wholeheartedly trusted her own protection to save her.

she knew it had to have been that night.

the dates matched.

"we clearly weren't that night," she adds, "arthur-"

"i don't- i- yn, i don't know how to be a dad."

"and you think i know how to be a mum? arthur, in case it didn't occur to you but, i don't have kids. i've never been a parent before either," she hisses at him from his office doorway and he digs the heels of his hands into his eyes, "christ, i'm just as scared as you right now. and i think i deserve to be-"

"it's a two person situation, yn," he claims, sticking two fingers up in her direction and she frowns, "i don't deserve to be scared?"

"yeah but you're not the one who has to go through the chances, are you? you'll still remain you where i'll look like i've stolen a watermelon from the supermarket," she grumbles lowly and he lets out a slight snicker; the light tension that was building had seemingly fizzled out, the initial shock still lingering in the air but it was something he could ignore, "it's not funny!"

"a watermelon?"

"it's the first thing that came to mind," she sighs heavily and puffs out a long breath from within her chest, "you're not going to throw up at any given moment because a smell puts you off. you're not going to have hormone changes and cry at stupid things. you won't get fat or start to waddle because you can't walk properly. you don't even have to push them out of a tight hole that's not big enough."

he sets his hands down on the arms of his chair and pushes himself out from underneath his desk, standing to his feet with his arms stretched out in her direction, and he takes her hands tightly in his own.

"i get that, i do," he hums softly, stroking a knuckle with his thumb and using his other hand to pull her into his chest, "but that doesn't mean my feels are invalid. i'm a support system for you in a situation that i've never had to deal with before."

she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face into the tee draping down his chest, the smell soothing the butterflies that were fluttering around in her stomach - the one thing she panicked would happen never did and it put her mind at ease.

"yeah, okay, but you won't get fat, arthur," she grumbles.

"you won't be fat though," he assures her, pressing a kiss to her head, "you'll be carrying a baby. our baby. making sure they're growing and that they're healthy. you're a home, keeping them safe, looking after them."

they stand there in silence, swaying from side to side, seconds going by and she truly felt like they could work everything out together. as a team.

"you're not upset?"

he pulls away and looks down at her, shaking his head, "why on earth would i be upset?"

"because we never spoke about this. we're not even married. we don't live together," she looks up at him and makes eye contact with him, "i know it's not ideal and-"

"i'm scared, i'm not upset," he interrupted and smiles down at her, "we've got nine months to figure everything out. i'd say that's enough time."

and, of course, he spent nine months reading all the baby books and reading things online. buying book after book from amazon and creating a good pile on his bedside table that he read before they went to bed, reading out different facts and important things so that he could involve yn in his learning. asking all the right questions at their midwife appointments. asking his mum and his step-mum all the right things to understand what could happen during her labour and what he could do to make things easier. and he's so proud to talk about it when people ask him. xx

#arthurtv #arthurtv imagines #arthurtv prompts #arthurtv blurbs #arthurtv headcannons #arthur frederick #arthur frederick imagines #arthur frederick blurbs #arthur frederick prompts #arthur frederick headcannons

[lovelyhan]

SVT HARD HOUR

Maybe a SVT member and their partner are in a relationship where the rest of the members (and the world) thinks the SVT member is the lead in the relationship but in reality their partner is.

Like it’s really important for him to be seen as the lead so she let’s him be seen as it.

Partner is normally really relaxed about the teasing but one day he takes it too far where she whispered that if he keeps this up, he not gonna like where it’s heading.

He keeps pushing so the members learn who is really the lead.

Hahaha this was a lot more detailed then what I meant. I don’t really have a member in mind. I am gonna be happy with whoever you choose.

Sooo, have fun writing ✍️

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast also asked: Because I love you <3 Also going to try to switch it up lol.

Consider edging Mingyu. You know he'd get all whiney and desperately try to buck his hips up into you when you stay completely still on top of him. Massive hands needily grabbing at your hips. In an attempt to steady himself or encourage you to move, you're not sure.

It'd be so cute how teary-eyed he'd be. His big cock twitching inside of you incessantly but, he'd try his best to hold on. Because he wants to be good for you.

NEEDY — MINGYU

surprise surprise <3 i'm sifting through my inbox for old requests that have been gathering dust since may!! i've been missing mingyu a lot these days so here's a quick drabble :3c

tags: f!reader, sub!mingyu, smut (MINORS DNI)

"is it really such a big deal for you to be the one that calls the shots, gyu?"

a whine is caught in the back of your boyfriend's throat as you drag your finger across the swell of his adam's apple, pinning him in place with a disgruntled stare.

mingyu knows he's been a little...over the top today — making a show of bossing you around just to fool his friends into thinking he's the one that runs this relationship, or whatever bullshit patriarchal nonsense he's got brewing inside his head. normally, you would've played along with his need to be seen as anyone but the big pouty man-puppy he actually is.

however, after making a snide comment that made every one of the boys stare at you warily as if waiting for a violent reaction, you decide that you've had enough of mingyu's big scary dom roleplay.

"i'm better off making dinner for you in the kitchen, huh?" you narrow your eyes, forcing mingyu's chin up as you clench around his aching cock. "now what made you think that, gyu? did you really mean what you said? because i'll be really upset if you did."

"n-no, baby, i was just fooling around," mingyu pleads, large hands digging into your hips as he forces himself not to buck up into the warmth of your cunt. "you know the guys tease me enough as it is, so i was just trying to —"

"be a sexist little shit to your girlfriend?" you finish the rest of the sentence with a disappointed huff. "i know you were just trying to get the guys off your back, but i expected more from you, gyu.

"after all, we both know just how needy you are when i'm the one calling the shots."

he sniffles, tears glistening in his eyes. it's almost adorable. "i'm sorry, baby, i —"

the noise that rumbles in his chest is caught between a groan and a whimper when you lift yourself up on his lap before slamming back down with more force than you typically do. despite the frustration rolling off of you in waves, your boyfriend's big cock still does the job in stemming your irritation from his earlier antics, and with how eager mingyu is to be good for you, you suppose you can forgive him.

that doesn't mean you'll make things any easier for him though.

"if you're really sorry, you'll sit there like a good boy while i get myself off," you coo before establishing a languid pace — riding your boyfriend as you press your foreheads together while you drill every word into his head. "my puppy can do something as simple as that, right?"

"yes. i promise — i promise i'll be good," mingyu mewls adorably, the muscles of his thighs tensing from the sheer effort he's exerting to stay still. "f-fuck, your pussy's so warm, baby."

"i didn't give you permission to start running your mouth, now did i?"

it's hard to miss how his cock twitches inside you — clearly enjoying the way you put him in his place no matter how much he tells his friends otherwise. you simper before leaning down to nip at his lobe, purposely moaning into his ear as you repeatedly slam your hips back down on his.

"i'd tell you that your huge cock is all you're good for but i won't. you know why, gyu?" you whisper as you try not to lose yourself to the delicious stretch of his girth. "that's because i fucking love you. so i suggest — ah, fuck — for you to choose your words carefully next time. got it, puppy?"

despite sounding more and more breathless with each passing second, mingyu thinks it's hot that you're lecturing him while you fuck him into incoherence. he decides then and there that he doesn't give a shit if his friends find out how submissive he actually is — both in the bedroom and your relationship in general.

your big, beefy boyfriend is powerless against you after all.

"'m so close," mingyu sighs as you start kissing down his neck, nimble fingers gliding across his nipples for added stimulus. "wanna cum inside you, baby... can i?"

you don't respond right away — too caught up in chasing after your own pleasure to give him another thought. but mingyu doesn't mind because fuck. you look so sexy like this, tits bouncing with every downward stroke as his big cock batters your cunt.

but just when he's about to feel his orgasm boil over, you lift yourself off your boyfriend's cock. this earns you a desperate whine in protest from mingyu which you promptly shut up by tipping him backwards, forcing him flat on his back before positioning your sopping pussy over his face.

"you think you deserve it after that stunt you pulled?" you chuckle darkly, delighting in the way mingyu's big arms automatically wrap themselves around your thighs to hold you in place. "make me come on your face first, puppy. then i'll think about whether or not i want you to finish inside me tonight."

you'll let him. you'll always let him.

but the fun thing about being with mingyu is that he never really backs down from a challenge.

#seventeen smut #mingyu smut #svthub #📝 drabble #💭 request #💌 anon #💘 mutuals #rj 🍷 #maybe i'll work on these one per day #who knows!

[borathae]

“Living with Yoongi has many advantages. Always clean counters, delicious home cooked meals and if something breaks, he will fix it with the help of his beloved blue toolbox. He is your little handyman and when your ex breaks your heart, it seems that he is hellbound on fixing that as well.“

Pairing: Yoongi x f.Reader

Genre: bf2l!AU, Roommates to Lovers!AU, Rebound!AU, slight Angst, Romance, Smut

Warnings: soft dom!Yoongi but it’s more that he just takes the lead, shitty exes, break-ups, low self-esteem, Yoongi being the comforting person that he is, lotsa kissing, shy!OC, safe sex, praises, oral (f.receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, multiple orgasms (f.receiving), he is very gentle with her, she cries afterwards and he is so sweet to her, I just love him that’s all :(

Wordcount: 14.3k

a/n: *sobs uncontrollably* i luv him. I don’t know my besties, this is quite honestly just something I wish would happen to me hahaha a girl can dream 🙂 but I do hope that you guys find just as much comfort in it as I did, Yoongi is honestly such a sweet bean :(

~ To Index ~

The bar is loud and the people around you are happy. The music is upbeat, the lights are bright and colourful and the smell of good times hangs in the air.

But not for you. You feel heartbroken. Truly and devastatingly heartbroken. It hurts so much that you have spent the last hour curled up on a chair and sobbing into your knees. Nobody notices your sobs, eventhough they were incredibly loud. Their lively chatter and happy singing however, blended out your desperate cries for help. Nobody also really noticed the state of your body either, they didn’t see the shakes, the painful convulsing and if they saw then they ignored it. You were a stranger after all, a weird stranger who is crying miserably in a place which was supposed to be a place for fun.

Now, you didn’t start off the night as a miserable stranger crying in a bar. As a matter of fact, you started off the night as a girl deeply in love with her boyfriend, ready to have the night of her life with him. Said boyfriend – excuse the mistake, ex-boyfriend – however broke up with you in the middle of the night with the excuse of “needing time to find my soul’s purpose, babe”.

The break-up came out of nowhere. He was incredibly sweet last night and even tonight he acted as if everything was okay. You had no fights lately, no arguments, not even slight bickering about stuff. You were happy, really happy, and as if someone pushed you off a bridge, you are now drowning in the ice cold water of heartbreak and confusion.

“___?”

You lift your head upon hearing your name, meeting the worried face of your best friend.

“Yoongi”, you wail, breaking in on yourself.

“Hey there, hey”, he gasps, getting on his knees to wrap you up in a hug, “I came as quickly as I could.”

“Yoongi please make it stop”, you beg him, aching even more now that he was here.

“Oh sweets, this sucks so much. I’m so sorry”, he says, soothing you by rocking your bodies left and right and petting the back of your head.

“I wanna die”, you wail, not actually wanting to, but in this moment it feels like dying would be the only thing making the pain stop.

“I hear you, but let’s just go home for now. Okay?” he says.

“Yes okay, I don’t wanna be here anymore. He, he’s still here.”

“Huh?” Yoongi breaks away to gawk at you, “what did you just say?”

You lift your shaking hand, pointing at your ex, who not even twenty feet from you, parties and laughs with his friends. Yoongi stares at him, face falling in utter shock and disbelief.

“He broke up with you here? And then stayed?” he asks, voice pitched in emotion.

You nod your head, crying miserably.

“And he knows that you’re here?”

You nod your head again.

“He, he drove m-me h-here.”

Yoongi frowns, grinding his teeth in fiery anger.

“And he’s literally fucking partying when you are crying right next to him?”

You nod your head a third time, breaking into loud sobs afterwards.

“What kind of cock fuck cunthole is that bastard asshole?” Yoongi asks in perfect Yoongi manners, blinking his eyes in disbelief.

“Yoongi please get me out of here”, you beg, almost breaking under the pain.

“Of course, let’s get out of this shithole”, he says, tugging you to your feet. He keeps a strong arm around you, making sure that you wouldn’t have to look at your shitpile of an ex again by keeping your head buried in his chest with a gentle hand.

“___?”

The lights turn on.

“Jesus fuck, it smells like shit in here.”

You hear the blinds open and seconds later the loud traffic from outside. Yoongi must have opened the windows. You don’t like that he did, just as you don’t like that he ruined your cave of darkness and heartbreak. But you don’t say that you don’t like it because that would require energy and you don’t have energy. Quite frankly you have nothing left. Your life is meaningless and pain is the only thing still being with you. Pain and Yoongi, who just this moment sits down on the bed next to you and places his hand on your upper back. He rubs circles on it.

“Don’t you want to get up for a little? I made your favourite food”, he says in a soft spoken voice.

“No”, your voice is muffled by the pillows and weak in sadness.

“No”, Yoongi repeats and hums in understanding, “I get it, that’s so impossible to do right now. I’ll just bring it to you.”

And with that he stands up and leaves to get something to eat for you. You haven’t eaten anything those past few days, maybe that is also why you feel so weak and why your stomach always feels seconds before throwing up. You just couldn’t find it in yourself to leave the bed, let alone prepare food. Yoongi tried to get you to eat something, but he always had to come to the sad conclusion that even after hours of letting the food stand by your bed you didn’t touch it. But he is stubborn, he is not going to give up yet.

“I’m back”, he announces himself.

The smell of pasta accompanies him, tempting you to sit up and look. You don’t give in to those temptations, staying in your position. Flat on your stomach and with your face buried halfway in the pillow. It’s the only thing that helps.

You feel the mattress dent beside you and hear the sound of the plate getting set down.

“Eat ___”, he says softly, nudging your back.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Yeah you are, you haven’t eaten in days. Just one bite.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Mhm, okay”, he says and goes to finally tug the blanket off your face.

You groan in distaste. It’s way too bright in this room.

Yoongi caresses your cheek with the back of his hand.

“Come on, just one bite. One and if you still don’t want it, I’ll leave.”

You peel your eyes open to send him an icy glare. You meet immense compassion in his gaze. Compassion and also a bright sparkle of patience. This is typical Yoongi. He will never stress you about how long your recovery process is taking. Days, weeks, months. The duration of your heartbreak will never be too short or too long for him.

“One bite, try it”, he whispers, giving you a reassuring smile. He will stress you however if he realises that you are neglecting your bodily needs. But even that he will never do with pressure or harsh words.

“Fine, one bite”, you give in and with Yoongi’s help sit up.

Yoongi gets some of the pasta on the fork and then guides it to your lips. You take it in and chew it slowly. It tastes so good. It tastes so, so good.

“Wow”, you press out and then you feel tears run down your cheeks, “it’s so good.”

“Mhm, I’m glad you like it”, Yoongi says, feeding you another bite. Every now and then he reaches out to dry your tears.

And so you let him feed you your favourite pasta while Yoongi lets you cry.

You feel happier today. You meet Yoongi in the hallway as you are on your way out. He just came home from working a ten-hour shift, now inspecting you with curious eyes.

“Where are you going? Why are you dressed up?”

“You won’t believe what just happened. Will texted me and asked for a conversation.”

“___ no”, Yoongi says, shaking his head vigorously, “no, just no.”

“Why not?” you whine, closing your coat.

“Because he’s a cunt and he doesn’t deserve a conversation.”

You sag your shoulders.

“It’s just coffee and talking. Besides, it’s been a month, I’m totally fine.”

“Lord give me strength”, Yoongi murmurs under his breath, massaging the bridge of his nose. He inhales and looks you into the eyes, “you’ll regret this, please believe me.”

“No I won’t. I’ll regret not going even more.”

“And why is that? Because you’re so over him?”

You pout, “shut up.”

Yoongi gives you a smile. It says “I told you so, but I’m not gonna say it out loud because I’m not a dick”. He places his hand on your arm.

“Let’s watch a movie, I’ll even watch Grease for you.”

“Not tonight, my decision stands. Thank you Yoongs, you’re the best”, you dismiss him and then leave the apartment.

Yoongi stares at the closed front door.

“You’re so dumb”, he whispers, knowing very well that in a few hours he will have you crying in his arms again.  

Except that he doesn’t. A few hours later turn into the entire night and his entire shift at work. You are sitting on the couch when he is coming home. Your hair is finally freshly washed and you are wearing something other than those awful joggers you have been wearing lately.

“Hey Yoongi, how was work?”

“Alright”, he shrugs his shoulders, “how the fuck are you though? Where were you last night?”

“At Will’s place. We fucked.”

“Oh my god”, Yoongi faceplams himself.

“What? Why are you so weird? I thought you’d be happy.”

He sends you a look.

“I am happy, I guess. Just oh my god ___, how did you end up on his dick again?”

You shrug your shoulders.

“He told me that he finally found his soul’s purpose and that I am in it too. So we wanna try again.”

“Well damn”, Yoongi exhales in exhaustion. He sits down beside you, “congrats I guess, I still don’t trust him though.”

“That’s fine, I’ll make you like him again.”

Yoongi pulls a grimace of distaste.

“Yeah no, sorry”, he murmurs, standing up, “not happening. I’m gonna cook dinner though, want some?”

“No thank you, I’ll meet up with Will later tonight!” you call after him, sounding happy.

Yoongi enters the kitchen with a deep frown on his face. You are so going to regret this.

One month passes where you spent more time at this bastard Will’s place than in your little apartment and Yoongi is slowly coming to terms with the cruel fact that maybe he was wrong about him after all. Maybe he did change. It would be a wonder, because the break-up was not the first break-up you and that dude had. As a matter of fact, it was the third break-up and Yoongi was present for all of them. It was always the same. You were head over heels in love with him, he got cold feet and found some bullshit excuse about how he can’t keep this relationship up anymore, you were heartbroken, he realised that it was very convenient to get pussy regularly and calls again and you agree on another chance. Yoongi has lived through the same scenario way too many times to trust that this cunt changed. But if he did, Yoongi will personally go up to him and apologize for ever doubting him.

Except that he doesn’t have to do this as one calm Friday evening – Yoongi was planning on finally starting the reparations in the kitchen to surprise you once you are back from Will’s place – he gets a call from you crying into the phone about how he needs to pick you.

Yoongi knew exactly what happened and left with on goal in mind. Get you to safety.

Yoongi feels his anger grow when he realises that you are crying right next to Will while he is scrolling on his phone.

“___?” Yoongi calls out, running despite hating it.

You and your shitpile of an ex lift your heads at the same time.

“Yoongi”, you wail.

“What happened?” he asks, staring at Will.

Will shrugs his shoulders.

“Y-Yoongi we, we broke up again.”

“Ah”, Yoongi says and then stares at Will again, “and you ugly cunt are still here because?”

“Hey fuck you, I was making sure she’s safe.”

“You are literally such a fucking bastard. She’s crying next to you and you asshole are scrolling on your phone?”

“What else should I do? She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”

You wail loudly and painfully. Something inside Yoongi snaps. He doesn’t hurt people. He was never involved in a fistfight, let alone punched someone and he was actually planning on never changing this habit. He changes this promise right this second as his balled fist strikes across Will’s face, leaving him to fall from the edge of the stairs and collide with the floor.

You gasp, feeling too shocked to cry.

Will groans, trying to get to his feet to punch Yoongi back.

Yoongi pushes him back down with a foot on his back.

“Stay down you fucker, seriously this was a warning”, he spits, voice fuming in anger, “you’re the worst human being on earth and I seriously hope you never find happiness.”

He turns to you then, trying his hardest to hide the anger from his face. His hand hurts so much. Punching someone in the face hurts way more than he thought it would. He doesn’t let it show that he is pain however, reaching for you with both hands.

“Let’s go ___, I’ll drive you home.”

You let him drag you to your feet, finding refuge in his chest.

“Yoongi I’m so dumb.”

“No you’re not. He’s just literal vermin”, Yoongi makes sure that Will hears him.

It’s been days. Yoongi hasn’t seen you ever since he had to pick you up from your fourth breakup with your shitty ex. He knows that you are home, but that once again you have fallen down the dark hole of heartbreak.

He does what he does best. He enters your room, comments on the bad air quality and then opens the window, then he sits down next to you and offers you food. You deny him but he insists because has been days since you have last eaten.

“Fine, one bite.”

And then he feeds you your favourite pasta whilst drying your tears.

Yoongi hates just how predictable the routine became. Or that it became a routine in the first place.

You leave your bed that night. Yoongi doesn’t notice that you do as he is busy writing music in his room.

“Yoongi?”

He lifts his head, studying your small frame from head to toe. Fuck, you’ve really become so small lately. As if your ex sucked all the confidence out of you.

“Yes?” he says, putting down his pen.

“Do you think I’m unlovable?”

“Of course not. What makes you think that?”

“It’s just that….”

You drag yourself into his room and use the last of your strength to climb on his bed. You sit next to him, legs crossed, weak fingers folded on your lap and back hunched to make yourself smaller. Yoongi hates just how fucked up your ex has gotten you. He can remember the days before Will where you walked into a room and called the attention of everybody, where you wore the most peculiar of outfits and fucking rocked them with confidence and days where you didn’t look like such a shell of yourself. Yoongi remembers the days before Will vividly and it’s making him so mad that two years with this one single worthless human turned you into what you are today.  

“…what if it’s my fault that Will always leaves?”

“No”, Yoongi says without hesitation.

“So why do I feel so….so…fucking unattractive?” you press out and your eyes fill with tears.

“___”, Yoongi says your name softly, scooting closer and placing his hand on your knee, “you’re not unattractive and you are not unlovable. Will is quite simply a bastard who doesn’t deserve you.”

You nod your head but very clearly don’t believe him.

“I mean it.”

“Thank you”, you whisper, looking at your fumbling fingers.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me”, he stresses, because he knows that you want pour your heart out but that you are too scared to start. So he gives you a little nudge into the right direction.

“I’m just so fed up”, you exhale shakily, “I’m so goddamn fed up of always loving people more than they love me.”

You touch your chest as your heart began to ache again.

“I went into every single fucking relationship giving a hundred and ten. I went in there with the intention to stay and to fucking commit and yet each and every time I get dropped.”

You sniffle, lowering your head.

“Just once I want to be loved more than I love a person”, you confess in a whisper.

“Damn”, Yoongi says.

“And I know how selfish and egoistic and toxic that sounds but at this point I don’t care because I am so goddamn fed up from always loving more.”

You bury your face in your hands and sob loudly. Yoongi drapes his arm around you and pats your arm soothingly.

“Just once I want to be someone’s most special thing. I want to be loved deeply and passionately and I want to be fucking worshipped. I want this person to wake up and the first thing they do is look at me. I want this person to watch me do some dumb shit and the first thought they have is that they love me. I want this person to leave a boring meeting because I’m at home and they would rather spend time with me. I want this person to give me a fucking rock or a leaf or, or a goddamn stick because they saw it and somehow it reminded them of me. That’s what I want, I want to feel like my presence is actually appreciated and that I am actually worth something.”

You hit your own chest.

“That’s what I deserve.  I deserve to feel special. I deserve to feel like the person I love a hundred and ten loves me back just as much.”

You sob, letting your head fall against Yoongi’s chest.

“Why do I always have to love so much, but get nothing in return?”

You feel as Yoongi closes his arms around you and the burden feels a little lighter already.

“I give so much. Holy fuck when I love someone I give my literal fucking everything. It may take me a long fucking time to open up to that person, but once they are in there….”

You tap Yoongi’s chest but he understands that you mean yours instead.

“…once they are fucking in there, I plan on keeping them in there and each and every goddamn fucking time they decide that now should be the time to completely rip my heart apart.”

You pause to whimper painfully. Yoongi closes his arms around you tighter, aching right with you.

“They never do it before that. They just wait, they goddamn wait until they’re in there and then they change their behaviour or ghost me or find stupid fucking excuses over and over again.”

“I’m sorry ___”, he whispers.

“And the worst part is my own fucking stupidity too. Because I love them so deeply and I don’t want to be left with another clashing hole in my chest so I just hold on. That’s what I always do. I swear to myself that this time it is going to be different, that this time I am not going to be first one seeking contact again and each and every fucking time I give them another chance.”

You pause your sobs just to let out a sound of anger, tensing up in Yoongi’s arms until you are shaking. So he presses you closer, hoping that this can lessen the painful anger at yourself.

“I’m so angry at myself. Why do I always have to give in? Why do I like hurting myself so much?”

“You don’t like hurting yourself, you just have way too much hope.”

You sniffle, listening to his calming voice.

“And I’m sure that there are many people who left your life way before you could take them into your heart, but do you know why you feel like there aren’t?”

“Tell me.”

“Because they never had the privilege to be loved by you and you never had the burden of making space in your heart for them only to then watch as they leave said space and leave an empty spot behind.”

He looks at you.

“That’s why it feels like only your closest friends or lovers leave you because they are the ones who were selfish enough to take a part of your heart only to then waste it.”

He smoothes over your hair with a gentle hand.

“Don’t be angry at yourself. I think people who have hope in their heart, even it is perhaps childish hope, that every relationship can be fixed are way better human beings than those who selfishly take a heart only to crush it.”

“But I can’t help it”, you whisper, “I don’t want to be so fucking depended on people anymore. I-I don’t-“, your eyes fill new tears again, “I don’t want to be so fucking weak anymore.”

“You’re not weak. Loving people a hundred and ten doesn’t make you weak ___, it’s just that most people are selfish assholes.”

You snort and chuckle.

“You and your lose tongue.”

“I’m serious. I fucking hate seeing you so sad and I swear to god if I ever see that Will guy again I’ll punch him so hard in the dick he’ll have a pussy afterwards.”

“Bro no”, you gasp and cackle, “don’t say that Yoongi.”

“I’m serious. He’s a real crusty cunt.”

You laugh louder and it feels good to do. Yoongi lets out that calm, soothing laugh of his’, giving your body the softest of shakes.

“Thank you Yoongi”, you whisper, draping your arm around his stomach and closing your eyes, “my life would suck ass without you.”

You don’t see it, but your words make Yoongi blush. He smiles softly and rests his cheek on the crown of your head.

“Mine too, ___”, he whispers.

Yoongi lets you sleep in the next day because it was a Saturday and you deserved the rest. He decides to make breakfast muffins so you can have yummy breakfast whenever you wake up and then he goes to his room to work on his music.

It is not even an hour later when the front door rings. Yoongi almost missed it, hadn’t he just returned from the toilet, he most definitely would have. You are still sleeping and so Yoongi decides to open the door.

“Yeah no”, he growls, closing the door quickly.

“Wait”, Will stops him with a foot between the door and the threshold, “hear me out.”

“Unless you’re here to ask me to punch you again, you can stick it and leave.”

“I made a big mistake.”

Will somehow manages to wiggle himself into the apartment.

“Please let me talk to ___, just one last time.”

“No.”

“I just want to apologize to her.”

“Your apologies mean horseshit.”

“I changed, I really did. I did a lot of thinking in the last few days and I realised that she is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Why?”

“Huh?” Will seems confused, “I don’t know, she just…”

“Is it because you think that she is easy to manipulate and play with? Is that why she is the best? Because she is sweet and kind and lovely enough to put up with your bullshit? And because the fucking power you have over her makes you feel invincible?”

“I mean, obviously…that’s great too”, Will has the audacity to laugh, “what else could I ask for?”

Yoongi frowns, feeling his muscles tense in honest anger.

“You’re a narcissistic asshole, that’s what you are and you don’t deserve someone as amazing as ___ so leave before I decide to punch you again.”

“Look man”, Will says, stumbling as Yoongi begins pushing him outside, “I know you’re like jealous of what I have with her, but I promise you’ll get someone too one day.”

“Leave before I punch you.”

“You know, I never liked you. You’re way too friendly with her. Like who do you think you are to decide who she can or cannot see?”

Yoongi finally manages to push Will out of the apartment.

“You’re into her too aren’t you? You fucker are trying to keep us apart.”

“Yes, I am trying to keep you apart because I actually want to see ___ happy.”

“So let me talk to her, she’s happy with me.”

“No.”

Yoongi closes the door but Will once again manages to pull it open again.

“Dude, will you leave? She doesn’t wanna see you anymore, you’ve lost your chances”, Yoongi spits with honest anger in his voice.

“I don’t believe you. You’re just trying to keep me from her. Let me talk to her”, Will growls, becoming angry. Like a little child not getting what it wants. It’s pathetic really that a grown-ass man in his thirties is acting like a pathetic immature boy.

“No”, Yoongi says and finally manages to close the door. He locks it, ignoring the hammering that immature manchild is doing.

“Hey! You’ll regret this! I know where you live!” Will screams behind the door.

“Obviously you idiot, you just visited me”, Yoongi mumbles and turns his back to the door.

“Yoongi?”

He meets you just around the corner. You look as small as you always do, staring at him with glassy eyes.

“Yoongi who was that?” you ask him.

“Nobody, just one of those annoying salesmen people.”

“Oh”, you let out, lowering your head. You and him both know that you are aware who is actually ringing the doorbell right now and that perhaps there was a chance that you listened to their conversation.

Yoongi steps closer and drapes his arm around your shoulder.

“I baked muffins. I put lots of blueberries in them”, he tells you, leading you to the kitchen.

You rest your head against his chest.

“Thank you, Yoongi.”

He knows that there was more behind those words than just a simple thanks for muffins.

“Of course, I’ll do it again”, he answers you, knowing very well that you will understand him.

Yoongi disconnects the doorbell a few minutes later, silencing Will’s attempts to terrorise you with constant ringing.

Yoongi helps you with blocking Will’s number that evening and it feels awesome to do. Then he watches Grease with you and not once is he complaining about the hidden misogyny in the movie. It was honestly really nice to have. Yoongi is really awesome company.

It has been an entire week since you blocked your ex’s number. You are all alone in the apartment, getting lost in your own doubts. You really want to unblock him, maybe he already tried to contact you. You could give him one more chance, maybe this time around he realised just how awesome you are.

The front door unlocks, making your ears perk up. The doubts get replaced by worry. Yoongi isn’t supposed to be home yet. He is in a meeting till seven and it is barely even five.

“What the hell?” you murmur, sitting up on the couch, “who is unlocking our door?”

The door opens and falls closed, then the lights in the hallways turn on.

“Okay what the hell?” you gasp, gawking at the shadow moving in the lights.

You act quickly. You grab one of those very heavy candlesticks and jump of the couch, readying yourself for a brutal fight.

“Come at me burglar I am ready”, you say, listening to the steps they take.

They appear in the threshold and stop. Your eyes lock with theirs.

“What are you doing?”

“Yoongi oh god”, you lower the candlestick and groan, “don’t scare me like that, I thought you’re a burglar or something.”

Yoongi snorts and laughs, “and why would a burglar use the keys to get inside? Or turn the lights on?”

“I don’t know man, don’t question my panic logic”, you say, placing the candlestick on its original place, “but what are you doing here? Don’t you have a meeting till seven?”

“I left earlier”, he says, waddling to the couch to sit down.

You follow him with your eyes, studying him from head to toe. Yoongi never leaves a meeting early.

“Why? Are you feeling alright?” you ask him as you hurry to him, sit down and place your hand on his forehead to check for a fever.

He nods his head.

“So why are you here?” you ask.

“It was boring and so I left. Maybe we could hang out instead.”

“Huh? I don’t get it. You left because it was boring and you wanted to spend time with me?”

Yoongi nods his head, looking into your eyes with a certain emotion. You can’t quite figure out what that emotion means, but you know that it makes you feel tingly.

“Oh”, you chuckle nervously, “okay.”

Yoongi gives you a shy grin.

“Do you want to make dinner together?” he asks.

You feel so confused. So flabbergasted. So…weirdly appreciated.

“S-sure we can do that. I haven’t eaten yet.”

“Nice. I’m in the mood for Kalguksu. What do you think?” he asks as his eyes race over your features.

You nod your head yes. You are still busy with processing everything that has happened in the last five minutes. So Yoongi left his meeting earlier because it was boring and he wanted to spend time with you instead. And now he wants to spend even more time with you by cooking together. This is giving you such confusing signals.

“Nice, let me just change into something more comfortable”, he says and then waddles away to get to his room.

“What are you doing?”

Yoongi makes you turn around. You were just in the middle of deep cleaning your room when your very loud banging and vacuuming drew Yoongi out of his room. He looked sleepy, with his black hair completely tousled and his eyes puffy.

“I’m cleaning my room, I felt like it’s needed.”

Yoongi lets his eyes wander over the messy room. The floors were invisible from all the rubbish and clothes piling all over themselves. Your furniture’s surfaces were covered in all sorts of stuff and dirty laundry and your sheets were stained from long usage. You like to lovingly call it your depressive heartbreak cave. Yoongi would never comment on it because he knows that you don’t want it to happen, he just makes sure that you never leave any food out so you wouldn’t get mold poisoning. Knowing that you feel ready enough to finally clean it makes him feel proud.

“That’s cool. Should I help?”

“You don’t have to. I know it’s your free day today, I don’t want to burden you.”

“You don’t burden me. Just give me a few to wake up because I just took a massive nap and I am currently tripping.”

He makes you giggle, forcing his heart to flutter at the sound of it.

“No worries Yoongs, take your time”, you tell him and Yoongi finds himself staring at your smile just one second too long.

“Mhm”, he lets out and turns to leave.

When Yoongi comes back, you have already cleaned all of your surfaces from the dirt. You are in the middle of the big pile, sorting through it.

“Hey”, he announces himself and sits down next to you.

“Do you see what I did?”

“Yes, you did a lot. I’m proud of you.”

You look at him with sparkly eyes.

“Thank you”, you whisper.

“Mhm”, Yoongi hums and gives you a sweet smile.

He reaches out to pat your knee.

“Tell me what to do.”

“Can you get all the laundry and sort it into piles?”

“On it.”

So you and Yoongi spend the next hour sorting through your stuff. You spend it sorting through your trash whilst Yoongi makes sure that every piece of clothing gets thrown on the right pile. You are listening to music as you do it. There are a few songs of Yoongi in your playlist as well and each time one of his songs comes up, you gasp and then send Yoongi a knowing grin.

You comment something along the way of “this is your best song” and then hum the melody to it. And Yoongi finds himself standing still for just a few seconds, looking at your face and feeling warm inside.

“Oh that.”

Yoongi turns, watching you stare at a little plushy. You look sad. He knows that this was one of the plushies your ex gave you as a weak apology after he fucked up again. You accepted each of them gladly and pretended as if everything was okay again, when in reality nothing should have been fine again. 

He sits down next to you, studying your face. You acknowledge his presence by showing him the plushy with a tilt of your wrist. 

“He gave me that plushy after I found him cheating on me”, you say and Yoongi feels his stomach tighten in anger. Your ex is really such a piece of shit.

“So throw it away.”

“You think so?” you ask him with uncertainty in your voice.

“Yes, throw it away. Hell, throw everything away this bastard gave you.”

“I don’t know if I can do this”, you confess, lowering your eyes.

“Well, do you want to keep those memories? Do you wanna be reminded that you got cheated on each time you look at that bear?”

“No”, you whisper, shaking your head.

“And this one”, he picks up another, “didn’t he give you that elephant after he destroyed your favourite scrapbook? On purpose, if I may add.”

“Yes, he did.”

“So? Do you really wanna keep this memory?”

“No, of course not”, you say with your voice barely audible.

“Then let’s throw it away”, he says, opening a new rubbish bag, “do it, I promise you that it’ll feel good.”

You hesitate, switching your gaze between his face and the rubbish bag he holds open. He gives you a patient smile and it is enough to give you enough strength to make that fateful move. You throw the plushy away, having to gasp afterwards from the intensity of the act.

You touch your own chest, feeling so lighthearted and so relieved that you have to check if your heart is still beating.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks.

“Yeah”, you say and laugh, “it feels really good.”

Yoongi smiles and hands you the elephant plushy.

You accept it and throw it away with a laugh on your tongue and relief in your heart. You fill up three rubbish bags with all the stuff you have accumulated from your ex over the years. A few tears were spilled, which Yoongi stopped with gentle hugs and sweet words. A few cursewords fell, which Yoongi supported by letting out even ruder cursewords and making you laugh with it. There was hesitation and Yoongi was there for you through it all, holding the rubbish bag open until you finally threw away another piece of awful memory.

Come nightfall and your room is finally cleaned. The floors are empty and wiped. The furniture is carrying the stuff it is supposed to carry and not your rubbish. And your bed sheets are changed and fill the room with the scent of freshly washed laundry.

Speaking of laundry. You and Yoongi are currently busy hanging up your masses of laundry, listening to music and laughing.

The bags and bags of rubbish Yoongi already carried downstairs to the big rubbish containers in your apartment’s backgarden. Now you are truly free of every burdening thought those items brought with them.

You turn to Yoongi once you are done hanging up the laundry. He is currently squatting in front of the laundry machine, trying to get the settings right for the last round of laundry. There he is. Your handyman. No matter what your problem is, he will always be there to fix it.

You walk to him and squat down beside him.

He turns his head.

“Thank you”, you say and then hug him.

Yoongi gasps, feeling confused for a second before wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“For what?” he asks.

“Just for being the best thing in my life.”

Yoongi blushes, closing his eyes because he feels way too overwhelmed by his emotions.

“I’m not.”

“Yeah you are. Now hush and take it.”

He chuckles, growing small in your hands from feeling way too shy.

“Whatever, I’ll take it I guess.”

You giggle and squeeze him tightly.

“Oh Yoongs, you’re so cute.”

Yoongi feels himself blush even more, burying his nose in your shoulder and wishing for this moment to never end.

You and him were grocery shopping because you wanted to cook tonight. It was Yoongi’s idea, saying that he wants to spend time with you. You felt really tingly when he said it and agreed instantly.

You are currently standing in the cheese aisle when a certain face calls your attention.

“Fuck, oh no. Help.”

Yoongi sneaks a glance at you, inspecting the panic in your eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Will”, you whisper the words into Yoongi’s ear, “he’s right there.”

Yoongi scans the aisle. You were right. There he is. Standing by the milk section and looking like the ugly cunt that he is. Yoongi looks back at you.

“Are you okay?” he asks, touching your arm in a soothing manner. 

It has been twenty eight days ever since you last saw your shitty ex, but Yoongi knows just how easily you can fall back into your pattern again. One conversation can mean losing weeks and weeks of hard earned process. 

“Yes, I’m okay”, you say, “goddammit. It’s so weird, I don’t want him to see me. I don’t look cool. Wait, should we act as if we’re dating?”

“Huh?” Yoongi widens his eyes, almost tripping over his own feet.

“Sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m panicking. I don’t know what to do. Help me Yoongi. Frick, did he just see us? Yoongi, I think he saw us.”

Yoongi checks for himself. Will most definitely did not see you. He is still very busy with picking out milk.

“Calm down, he didn’t”, Yoongi says in a soft spoken voice.

“I’m done for. Yoongi, I wanna look cool.”

“You do.”

“Does my hair look nice? And my face? Frick, I should have put on other pants. Noo, there is a stain on them.”

“You look beautiful ___.”

You stop talking just to stare.

Yoongi reaches out and fixes a strand of your hair, giving you a sweet smile. The gesture sends a warm tingle over your skin. 

“Don’t worry, he’ll look at you”, he caresses your cheek with the back of his hand, “and he’ll regret ever treating you like shit.”

“I..” you lower your eyes, feeling your heart flutter. You know that Yoongi only says those words to calm down your nervousness and yet you can’t help but feel so appreciated and so pretty. Yoongi thinks you are beautiful. This feels so awesome, “thank you”, you whisper, reaching out to touch his chest. 

Yoongi looks at your hands then at your face, feeling his cheeks heat up just slightly. He feels so warm right now. Here in this blindingly bright grocery aisle you are touching his chest and looking at his face with your pretty eyes. And he feels unbreakable, as if in this tiny moment in his life nothing could hurt him.

“___?”

The moment breaks, Yoongi is left shivering as you pull your hand away.

You lift your head, coming face to face with Will. He is staring, carrying jealousy in his eyes.

“Hm?” you squint your eyes as if you needed to take a better look at him, “oh Will!” you exclaim, “wow, I completely forgot who you were for a sec”, you say and laugh.

Yoongi has to stifle his laughter. He likes the new you. This attitude suits you.

Will seems taken aback for a second.

“Yeah uh…it’s me”, he hesitates then speaks again, “what are you doing here?”

“Well”, you look around, “it’s a grocery store, I don’t know what you’re doing here, but we’re shopping for, you know, groceries.”

Will laughs awkwardly.

“True yeah, you’ve become really funny ___.”

“No I haven’t, I always have been.”

“Huh?”

“What?” you challenge with a cock of your eyebrow. 

“Nothing, uhm…” Will clears his throat rather awkwardly, “hey do you wanna grab coffee tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” you check your invisible watch, “would you look at that? It seems like I don’t have time tomorrow.”

“Hah”, Will sneaks a glance at Yoongi, “today then? I’m free now.”

“I’m not. Yoongi and I are gonna cook together”, you say, pointing at the man by your side. 

Will sends him a jealous look.

“Is he your new boyfriend?”

Yoongi tenses up in nervousness when you wrap your arms around his arm and then squeeze your cheek against him.

“Yes he is and we are very happy.”

Yoongi gawks at you with big eyes, feeling short of breath. 

“Great, couldn’t even wait a month could you?” Will’s once nervous voice is laced with poisonous jealousy, now directed at Yoongi.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh give me a break, I know you always wanted her. Of course you’d leech off of her now that she’s all confused and heartbroken.”

Yoongi straightens his back and takes a step closer to Will. Although he is a good five inches smaller than your ex, he seems to tower over him.

“Now I’m gonna tell you something”, he hisses, “the fact that you know that she was confused and heartbroken and that you have the audacity to act as if I’m a villain when you used that confusion times and times again to hurt her, makes you look like the greatest fucking cunt.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“We both know that that’s a lie”, Yoongi spits.

Will seems to struggle for words, looking between your face and Yoongi’s.

Yoongi steps back and drapes his arm around your shoulder.

You giggle, drawing into him and sending Yoongi’s heart into a complete frenzy. Will is wrong with a lot of things, except for one thing. Holy fuck, Yoongi has such a massive crush on you. He’s not trying to let it show, but you snuggling into him right now as you and him pretend to be a couple for the sake of annoying your ex, does things to his heart. He knows that you are just pretending to look cool in front of your ex, but fuck, this does things to his heart. You and him dating. Yoongi feels dizzy just thinking about that possibility. 

“Either way, me and my boyfriend are gonna go now. See you not”, you say and make Yoongi move with a gentle nudge.

“I..uh…” Will presses out, blinking rapidly.

“Oh yeah”, you stop abruptly, making Yoongi gasp in surprise. You whip around, keeping a tight grip on Yoongi’s waist, “he has a huge dick and your dick is small. Also you can’t use it for shit.”

“What the fuck?”

You giggle and then snuggle back into Yoongi. And then you finally abandon your ex in the milk aisle.

You have just crossed the corner when Yoongi can’t take it anymore, breaking into loud cackles.

“He has a huge dick and your dick is small? What the hell ___?” he says in a laugh.

You giggle, “listen, I was improvising. I don’t know why I said that.”

“No it was awesome, fuck”, he says and snorts very ungracefully, “fuck this was the funniest thing you’ve ever done.”

“You think so? So I wasn’t too mean?”

“No, you were perfect. Seriously, I freaking love you, this is going to stay in my brain. I-“

You silence him by kissing his cheek.

Yoongi swallows down his voice, feeling dizzy.

“I love you too Yoongs.”

“Huh? I- huh? What?”

You grin goofily and then rest your head on his chest.

“Fuck, I just really showed it to him, didn’t I?” you say and giggle, “I feel so proud right now. I’m sorry for pulling you into this, I hope you don’t mind. I just wanted to show him just how over him I am.”

Yoongi slowly understands what you mean. That you love him like a best friend loves her best friend. And it hurts because for just a second he thought that you loved him the way he loves you.

“It’s totally fine. I’m just glad I could help”, he presses out, shivering in the cold once you step back. 

You spend your free day painting. You always loved painting, but stopped doing it after your ex told you that you don’t really have talent for it. You want to do it again these days. Now that you haven’t seen his face for two months and your phone stayed free of his messages as well, you realised just how awesome your life is without him. You are so happy, you feel so confident in your hobbies again and you also feel just a tiny bit pretty again. Not much and you have to thank Yoongi for giving you enough confidence to feel pretty again. He developed the habit of always coming into your room right after waking up just to greet you and give you a little compliment. You know that he only does this to help you gain your confidence back, but there are days where you wish that maybe he meant it from the bottom of his heart. 

Today you felt like painting, using bright colours and bold strokes. You have no idea what it should depict once you are finished, but you don’t care because you are having so much fun doing it. You also plan on giving Yoongi the painting as a thank you present for always being there for you when you need him. 

A knock on your door makes you stop for just a moment.

“Come in!”

The door opens and in steps Yoongi. He is dressed in his casual clothes. Black sweats and a black jumper with fluffy socks. He looks comfy and as if he smelled really nice. 

“Oh Yoongi, hey”, you say, giving him a grin.

“Hey, how are you doing?” he asks you, waddling to your spot to sit down next to you.

So now he is sitting next to you on the floor, cross-legged and with his cheeks rosy. Also. You were right, he smells amazing. His scent surrounds him and tickles your nose, making your heartbeat speed up. 

“I’m doing really good. I’m painting and it’s so much fun.”

“I can see”, Yoongi says and studies the painting, “it’s really nice. You are really talented.”

Your heart flutters. He likes it. 

“Thank you”, you whisper, feeling even better about your painting now that Yoongi complimented it. Wow, so this is how it feels like to be complimented on your art. Wow, wow, wow.

"How was your walk?" you ask him giddily.

"Good. I got an idea for a new song. Listen", he says and presses play on his phone. Yoongi recorded himself humming the melody and singing a few lines of lyrics. He sounds so endearing on it. 

The recording ends and Yoongi lowers his phone with his face carrying shyness. 

"Don't bully my voice, I know it sucks", he murmurs, fumbling with the lobe of his ear nervously.

"No it doesn’t, it's really good. I love the part where you go", you demonstrate your favourite part, making Yoongi smile with it.

"You think so? I like that part too." 

"It's awesome. I can’t wait to hear it once it’s done." 

He lowers his eyes nervously and touches the side of his neck. You turn back to your painting and continue your work. 

Yoongi stays with you as you work, watching the strokes of your brushes and finding great relaxation in the movements of them. 

"Any ideas on which instruments you want to use?" 

"Not really. Maybe strings, they could work really well."

"Mhm that sounds nice", you say, mixing pink and purple to create yet another shade of pink. It’s pretty, you like it. You use it to shade the little triangle you drew in green. 

“Hey ___”, he breaks the comfortable silence, “I’ve got something for you.”

“Huh? For me? Really?” you make sure, placing your brush down.

You turn to him. He nods his head.

“What is it?”

He lowers his eyes and then opens his palm to present a small stone to you. Just a little bit bigger than a peach pit, white with pink speckles all over it.

“A stone?” you gasp, taking it between your fingers. It is warm from his palm, just slightly damp from his nervous sweat, “oh my god you got me a stone?!” your voice is squeaky in excitement.

Yoongi watches how you inspect it with sparkling eyes and how you begin smiling.

“You got me a stone! Oh my god! Why did you get me a stone?”

He shrugs his shoulders, scratching the side of his neck nervously.

“Just so, I saw it lying on the ground and it made me think of you, so I picked it up”, he mumbles, cheeks turning beet red.

“Yoongi”, you say, eyes filling with tears, “this is so pretty”, you whisper, resting your cheek on it, “thank you so much.”

Yoongi smiles, “I’m happy you like it.”

“I do”, you say, falling around his neck to give him a tight hug.

Yoongi closes his eyes immediately, wrapping his arms around your middle to tug you closer. He feels you giggle and then squeeze him back.

“Thank you so much”, you say, sniffling quietly.

“Are you crying?” he whispers.

“Yes”, you whisper.

“Don’t cry.”

“I’m so happy. I always wanted to have someone give me a stone.”

Yoongi smiles and caresses your back. 

“I know”, he whispers. 

He shivers when you run your fingers through his hair and almost faints when a second later he feels your lips on his cheek in a tender kiss.

You pull away, looking at him with glassy yet happy eyes.

“But Yoongi, I don’t understand what that means.”

“It’s just..so…I don’t know”, he murmurs, fidgeting nervously. 

“I mean”, you let out an awkward laugh, “nevermind, it’s silly”, you say and grin, “I’ll have to find a place for it. Thank you so much, this is the sweetest present someone ever gave to me.”

Then you draw back and stand up to find a place for your new present.

You place the stone on your windowsill right next to your potted plant and your tiny figurine of a cat. You love how it looks. It may be small and many people wouldn’t see any difference in your room, but you do and you feel so happy that it is now part of your collection.

“Wow, this looks so pretty there”, you gasp and giggle, “look Yoongi.”

You turn and halt.

“What’s wrong?”

“___ I have to tell you something.”

“Okay”, you say, sitting down next to him. You intertwine your fingers with his’, “what’s wrong?”

“___ I…” he halts just to inhale shakily. He laughs nervously, looking to the side.

“What is it?” you ask without any sort of hurry in your voice.

“___ I love you.”

“Aww Yoongs”, you say and smile, “I love you too.”

He is so sweet. This is so typical of him. Yoongi is such a secret softie. He may struggle a little with words of affection, but when he does finally get them out, they are always honest and so, so sweet.

“No, I…”

“Yes Yoongs?”

“I’m in love with you”, he confesses in a barely there whisper.

“Oh.”

Yoongi lowers his head.

“Sorry.”

“For what?”

“For making Us weird.”

Kiss.

Yoongi lifts his head quickly, staring into your eyes.

You just kissed his cheek.

“Hehe”, you let out and grin.

Yoongi touches the spot you kissed.

“I don’t understand”, he whispers.

“I feel the same”, you say and scrunch your nose up, “I think. At least. I don’t know. I know that I love you and that you make me really happy and lately I feel really tingly when you’re in the room with me. A-and it’s so weird of me to say this, but you left a meeting for me and, and look at me after waking up a-and now you’ve given me a stone and I know you’ve just done all of this to cheer me up, but that’s like always been my dream and maybe I think I’m in love with you too because of it.”

“I know”, he whispers, “n-not, not the love part, but the other part. With the dream and all the things I did.”

“You knew?” you press out, feeling yourself tear up.

“You told me. I don’t know, I remembered. I don’t know”, he lowers his eyes shyly, “it’s not a big deal I guess.”

“Yes, yes it is”, you sniffle, making Yoongi raise his head in alarm. 

“Don’t cry.”

“It’s the biggest deal ever. Yoongi holy fuck”, you press out and sob. 

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“Yes it is!” you exclaim and smile at him behind your tears, “it’s so okay. You make me feel okay and, and it makes me want to kiss your lips, because this is like my dream and you are really handsome and freaking love you so much.”

“Oh”, he lets out and goes to hide his face behind his hands, “oh my god ___”, he presses out and then giggles. He giggles like an excited little child all whilst trying his hardest to hide his burning cheeks from your eyes.

And you do the same, except that you hide your face in his shoulder and sit down on his lap just so you could be closer to him.

“I’m so happy Yoongi, I’m so happy”, you laugh and sob and laugh some more.

And Yoongi does what he does best. He hugs you and lets you have this emotional moment while maybe spilling a few tears of happiness himself. And once those tears stop and you and him are giggling and hugging and feeling so happy, you lift your head just to look at him. And it feels different when you do. 

You always knew that Yoongi was handsome and that you liked the way his features worked together so perfectly and also how they all looked individually. You liked his button nose and the shape of his pouty lips, you loved the sparkle of his eyes and the softness of his cheeks. You always loved his face, but in this moment you love it a hundred million times more.

You cup his handsome face and lean in.

Stop. Hesitation. Nervousness.

“It’s okay, I want it”, he whispers, cupping your face in his big, healing hands.

You giggle and draw closer.

One kiss. Just a shy touch of lips then you and him pull back simultaneously.

Eyes exchange looks. Hearts race before synching their rhythms. Lips tingle for more.

Yoongi is the one feeling braver, maybe however he feels greedy now that he can finally kiss you. He just wants to do it. He wants to kiss you the way you deserve to be kissed. With tenderness, with adoration and with utter devotion. There is no other way you deserve to be kissed and as he shows you the kisses he will give you from now on, you find yourself drawing closer to him and sighing his name because nobody has ever kissed you that way before.

You don’t really stop kissing for the rest of the day. You try to make dinner together, but Yoongi ends up kissing you against the kitchen counter with his hands on your lower back. You try to watch a movie together, but Yoongi ends up kissing you on the sofa with you on his lap and his hands cradling your body. You also try to fall asleep in your separate rooms, but Yoongi ends up joining you in your bed ten seconds in and kissing you until you both feel too sleepy to continue.

It is Saturday now. Ten hours after you and him stopped kissing and you are awake. Yoongi is still asleep, sleeping next to you in fetus position and with his hands between his knees. He looks really tiny in that position. He is so cute. You giggle, muffling most of the sound in your pillow in order not to wake him up. He is so cute and now you know that he likes you. Actually likes you. It feels so awesome to experience. What feels even more awesome to experience is when Yoongi opens his eyes, studies your face and begins smiling.

“Hey”, you say.

“Best view ever”, he murmurs and reaches out to touch your hand.

“Oh my god”, you gasp and giggle like a little child, “Yoongi, oh my god.”

“What?” he asks sleepily, blinking slowly to wake himself up. 

“I wanna cry again, thank you”, you say and then draw closer to snuggle into him. 

Yoongi accepts it with a tired grunt and his legs entangling with yours. He smells really good. Warm from sleep which helps the scent of his shower gel to really come out. He thinks that you smell really good too, warm and sweet just like your shampoo. 

“Mhm darling, you’ll make me wanna sleep again if you cuddle me like that”, he murmurs, nuzzling his face into your hair. 

“I’m your darling”, you whisper, voice filled with awe.

“Mh-hm.”

You giggle. 

“And you’re my darling too?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Wow”, you let out in a breathy laugh, snuggling closer. You wiggle like a happy cat, making Yoongi purr in comfort, "I like this nickname. It’s so sweet. Will never called me that, he always called me babe. I don’t like that nickname, it sucks." 

"Hm", he hums, rubbing slow circles on your back, "I don’t like it either. It’s really impersonal and lame." 

"Hard agree", you say then sigh, "oh Yoongs, you’re so snuggly." 

"You too, I feel really comfy." 

"Me too, yes, me too", you say and give him a squeeze. You let out a little squeak as you do, making Yoongi chuckle fondly.

"You're cute", he says. 

"Wow", you whisper, "thank you…"

Yoongi cradles you in his arms and kisses the crown of your head. He is a little bit sad about the fact that even the smallest of compliments leaves you feeling stunned. You never should have been brought that low and Yoongi swears that he will personally lift you up until you can finally touch the clouds again. 

"What nicknames do you like? I like many nicknames", you say.

"Really? Tell me." 

"Snuggles is so cute and it fits you because you are snuggly. And honeybun, I don’t know, you remind me of honey." 

He chuckles, "I do? Is it because I never expire?"

"No tzt", you nudge his chest, "it's because you’re sweet. Goddammit Yoongi, now you made it weird." 

You make him laugh and then kiss the crown of your head  

"You're adorable", he whispers and kisses you again, "maybe I'll call you cutie or sweetie because that’s what you are." 

"Stop, oh my god", you gasp. 

Yoongi chuckles softly, petting the back of your head. He is seriously so happy right now. This is everything he ever wanted.

You spend your Saturday in bed together. Sleeping, talking, sleeping again, talking and kissing, sleeping once more, listening to music and coming up with song ideas, making out because Yoongi is obsessed with you and him writing music together, snacking, cuddling and kissing then some more cuddling. And it was awesome.

Yoongi is currently out of bed because he really needed to pee. He returns with two bowls of food. 

"I warmed some of the leftover goulash", he explains, handing one of the bowls to you. 

"Wow, thank you. I was honestly starving. This is great", you say, accepting it happily.

You share some bread with the goulash and you may also steal one kiss from Yoongi when he least expects it. It makes him fluster and then give you a quick kiss back. 

Your bowls of food are empty by now, standing on your floor for later clean-up. You are on Yoongi’s lap again, fingers entangled in his hair and lips dancing with his'. He is letting out the softest of noises as you kiss him, making you feel so wanted. Your ex never let you know that he liked the kisses. Quite frankly, he didn’t even kiss you for that long and that passionately in the first place. But that doesn't matter anymore, because you have Yoongi now and he is all that matters. 

You break the kiss for a moment of air, pulling back just to look at his face. His cheeks are heated, his pouty lips look so puffy from all the nibbling and sucking you did and his pupils are just slightly dilated. 

You let out a shy giggle, lowering your eyes. Yoongi cups your cheek, tracing your features with his thumb. 

"What is it?" he asks in that sweet, calming voice of his'. 

"It's just...we're kissing so much", you confess and hide your face behind your hands, "I hope I don’t bore you."

"Bore me?" he chuckles softly, "darling, why should I be bored? This is like the most exciting thing I have done in a long time." 

"Really?" at that you look into his eyes, meeting honesty in them. 

"Of course. You are the best kisser", he says and it makes you feel so warm and tingly inside. 

"Thank you", you whisper, closing your eyes when a second later he tugs you onto his lips for yet another round of kissing. 

And so you kiss again. You kiss because kissing Yoongi is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to you too. It doesn’t even feel awkward that you and him went from being best friends to lovers overnight. You thought it to feel awkward and that it would make you nervous or that your situation would be weird from now on. But it doesn't. It feels right, as if it was always meant to happen and as if scattered pieces of the universe finally shifted into their right places. 

"Yoongs", you sigh, breaking the kiss. 

"Hm?" he hums, chasing your lips. 

"It feels good."

"Mh-hm yeah", he says and places his hands on your hips, "com'ere, wanna have a kiss." 

You lean in whilst giggling, running your hands over his torso while Yoongi lets his own dance over your legs. You learn that Yoongi feels way more built and lean than his small frame lets one believe. His arms are sculpted, courtesy of all the handy little work he does in your apartment. And his chest carried a certain strength to it, you blame it on the big, golden heart it has to carry around. That thought makes you giggle and then kiss him deeper. 

Yoongi reacts by letting out a soft moan, squeezing your thighs in his strong, yet gentle hands.  

You and him are both aware that this is affecting both of you. Truly affecting you. You learned from all the kissing you did, that Yoongi is the type of man that gets hard if only you kiss him long enough. And that knowledge made you realise that you are actually also the type of woman to get wet when being kissed. You blame it solely on Yoongi. He has magical powers in his pretty lips. 

And right now. Right in this moment, as the light of the setting sun is shining into your room and your bodies are tingly from all the previous make-out sessions, you didn’t want to stop anymore. You run your hands down his torso, tugging at the strings of his sweatpants teasingly. You don’t open them, you just tease. 

"Fuck ___", Yoongi presses out, touching your lower back. 

"Hm?"

"You gotta stop." 

"With what? That?" you tug at his strings, loosening them slightly. 

He exhales shakily, chasing your kiss with parted lips and his half-lidded eyes focused on your mouth. 

"You're addicting", he rasps. 

You shiver, touching his chest. His heart was racing, copying your rhythm. 

"I'm addicting?" 

"Yeah...so much…" he licks his lips, moans softly, "wanna keep getting lost in you."

He manages to send a shiver through your entire body. 

"Yoongi, I’m wet", you panic instantly, "sorry! Ew, why did I say this?" 

Yoongi breaks away, giving you a lopsided smile. He lets his eyes run up and down your body, keeping them half-lidded. 

"You're wet?" 

"Stoop, don’t bully me", you whine, feeling like hiding. 

But Yoongi tugs your hands away and makes you look into his eyes.

"Can I try?" he asks.

"Huh?" 

He licks his lips, making you follow his tongue with eager eyes. 

"I wanna try." 

"Wait. Serious?" you ask, having to laugh afterwards, "like serious, serious?"

"Why...not?" Yoongi furrows his brows, "goddammit ___ how much shittier does your ex get?"

You fluster now that Yoongi saw right through you. 

"Did he at least make you cum somehow?"

"I, uh..hah, yeah about that…" 

"Goddamn", he lets out and grinds his teeth, "he's such a cunt. Imagine dating you and not wanting to make you cum over and over again." 

"Oh my god, Yoongi", you gasp, "you and your loose tongue." 

That’s when Yoongi surprises you by flipping you and him over. Your head finds its resting position on the foot end of your bed, Yoongi’s body claims the emptiness between your legs. Quite frankly it steals the sanity from you.  

"It's not only loose, but fucking skilled too", he rasps, "I'll send you to heaven and back, darling." 

"Bruh", you gawk at him, "sorry, that was not a sexy reaction." 

Yoongi chuckles, "you're always sexy." 

He makes you fluster, but also squirm because now all you can think about is his tongue and what it could do to you. You are staring at his lips, twisting the front of his shirt. 

"Wow…"

"Now can I show you?" he asks, noticing the eagerness in your gaze. 

"Yes please", you whisper.

"Thank you, fuck you’re making me the happiest man", he says and goes to kiss your neck. He kissed your neck before, last night during the movie. It doesn’t make the sensation any less intense. You are shivering, feeling the effects of it right between your legs. 

Yoongi is a lot more vocal in his neck kisses than he was last night however. Soft moans, whispered praises, shaky breaths. He lets you know that although you were the one being kissed, he feels just as affected by them. 

He trails his kisses down your body very soon, exploring your torso through your shirt. He tried tugging your shirt up, but stopped when he felt you squirm uncomfortably. You weren’t feeling confident enough for that step yet and Yoongi is looking forward to the journey of getting you there. No matter how long it takes. But for now, he is doing best with your shirt tickling his lips. 

"Feels so nice", you sigh, melting under him.

He hums and finally he reaches your inner thighs. 

It’s just one kiss. One touch of his tender lips. And you are squirming. This feels amazing. Holy fuck, if a simple thigh kiss feels like that, than how will he feel between your legs? 

You whimper his name, making him lift his head. 

"Too fast?"

"No, too slow."

He chuckles, "message received. Lift your hips."

"Why?" 

"So I can take off your pants to eat you out. Only if you allow me though." 

"Oh uhm", a short moment of contemplation, "yes, okay." 

You lift your hips, waiting with bated breath until he finally has your pants pulled down. Well damn, now you’re naked. You close your legs, tugging your shirt down. 

"What's wrong? Not a fan of it? Should I get the pants again?" he asks.

"No, it’s just. Just don’t laugh or something, I don’t know." 

"I won’t laugh, don’t be scared. I got you", he promises you, calming down your nervousness by kissing your knee. 

"Really? Promise?" 

"Promise." 

"Okay so, uhm", you open your legs for a good second, "eek", you close them again, "dude that was fucking scary, my heart is racing." 

Yoongi settles back, looking at you with those patient and never judgemental eyes of his'. 

"What are you scared of? Tell me and I'll try to understand you." 

He doesn’t even realise just how important this is right now. Him being so patient and understanding. This isn’t something you had before. It was always dick out, pants down, no questions asked with your ex. This right here shows you that it can be different too. That you are also allowed to feel comfortable. And it means the world to you.

You take a deep breath for good luck and then finally - finally - voice your thoughts. 

"Okay so uhm. What if I taste weird?"

"You won’t. I love eating pussy."

"H-hot, but also...what if you don’t like the shape of it?"

"Won't happen, you’re beautiful. All of you." 

"Wow", you giggle, "but what if...I didn’t really like...shave."

"So? You’re a grown-ass woman, you’re supposed to have hair down there." 

"But Will-" 

"Will is a crusty manchild cunt, he doesn’t deserve to be let anywhere near a pussy." 

He cracks you up, shedding you of a million pounds of tension and nervousness. Yoongi chuckles and caresses your leg. 

"Thank you", you whisper, "seriously thank you." 

He gives you a knowing smile, running his palms up and down the inside of your thighs without ever intruding your private space. It is still enough to make you feel needy and make you crave more.

"Now, can I see your pretty pussy, darling? I'm so greedy for a look." 

“You’re literally so hot when you talk like this, what the fuck”, you whisper, making him smirk nonchalantly, “okay, yes uhm", you say and then open your legs for him. 

Yoongi lets his eyes flit down, widening them instantly. Even his lips part in awe.

"Holy fuck ___ look at you. Wow. Just wow. You have the sexiest pussy ever."

"Stop that, oh my god", you gasp and despite your complaints, you open your legs further. 

"Yes, wow. Look at you. Fucking look at you."

Yoongi’s eyes are spilling over in adoration for you and it makes you feel really sexy. And confident too.

"I'm so lucky. Fuck, I’m so fucking lucky", he rasps and lies down on his stomach, wrapping his arms around your legs, “so fucking lucky, look at you”, he murmurs and lowers his head to your pussy.

"Eek", you squeak, ripping your eyes open. 

Your life flashes before your eyes. You watch the creation of the universe. And you are pretty sure that for a second you travelled to the end of the galaxy. So this is how that feels like. Goddamn. 

"Ah, hah - oh god."

Yoongi moans, staring at your face and dancing his tongue up and down your pussy. You taste so good, feel so soft and warm. It’s only been seconds and he is already obsessed. 

"T-that feels so good. Urgh god, Yoongi", you press out, wiggling your hips. 

Yoongi stops your fleeing body by throwing your legs over his shoulders, keeping them still with a strong grip. He can taste how much this gesture affects you. He can feel how this small act makes you clench. Can hear it too as your voice pitches so perfectly. 

"So sweet", he uses the vibrations of his voice to his advantage, making you twitch and gasp, "my darling's so sweet", he seals his words by sucking your clit between his pouty lips. For just a second because then you flinch away and laugh.

"Yoongi, fuck." 

"What's wrong?" 

"I just", you lift your head to stare at him, "you're a demon what the hell? I already wanna cum." 

"I'm a demon?" he chuckles, "or maybe you’re just needy." 

"Hey", you pout. 

He smirks, "it's hot that you are", he rasps and then wiggles his tongue through your folds all whilst keeping up the eye contact. 

You gasp and tense up, trying and failing to keep your eyes open. 

“Jesus fuck, Yoongi…”

You tilt your head back, parting your lips in bliss. 

You’re so lovely. So goddamn pretty. Yoongi can’t get enough of the view and your pussy. He buries himself deeper, grinding his tongue over your clit all whilst gazing at your face. 

"Ah", you drop your head and arch your back. Then you moan and melt under the sensations. This feels so good. It seriously does. Being so loved feels so good.

Yoongi soothes your trembling legs with slow rubs up and down. You know that he got you, that this right here is what security and safety feels like. And it may sound weird, but it heals your heart as well. Yoongi eating your sweet pussy is healing your heart. It sounds like a joke, but it isn’t. Being so appreciated is like medicine to you. 

“Yoongi…” you sigh, caressing his back by wiggling your feet.

He answers you with a sweet moan, littering your pussy with kisses to give her a little break and also because he is fucking obsessed. You giggle each time he does.

“Does that feel nice?” he asks in fond chuckles, kissing your clit. 

“Yeah”, you giggle, nodding your head vigorously. 

“Mhm darling…I love your pussy”, he sighs and finally darts his tongue out again. 

“Oh! Oh wow”, you gasp, legs twitching on his back and pussy welcoming his licks with eager clenches. It happens naturally that you reach down to twist his hair, only to get cold feet and pat his head awkwardly instead, “fuck sorry”, you laugh. 

“Mhm?”

“I don’t know why I did that.”

“It’s alright, you’re so sexy”, he assures you and makes you moan with just a perfect flick of his tongue. It also doesn’t help that he decided to slip one of his fingers into you, slowly and carefully in order not to overwhelm you. 

Not that it does not overwhelm you. Not in a bad way. But in a totally leg shaking, mind scrambling type of way. 

“How’s that?” he asks, listening to your whimpering and mewling. He fucks his long finger in and out of you slowly, almost going crazy at just how warm and wet you feel around him. 

“G-good, ah Yoongi”, you have to arch your back, melting in his hands. 

“So perfect, I’m the luckiest”, he rasps in that sexy voice of his’ and connects his lips with your clit again. He sucks and licks her skillfully all whilst feeding your greedy pussy his finger. 

“Yoongi, I wanna cum”, you whine, tightening around him. 

He breaks away, "don’t hold back darling, let me taste your orgasm", he rasps and then he is already back on your pussy, bringing you closer and closer to heaven.

"Y-Yoongi", you choke out, gasping for air. You are so close. He is so good. This is the best. 

"Feed me, darling. Feed me", Yoongi begs, making the lewdest of sounds as he flicks his tongue over your clit. 

You wanted this to last longer, but physically can’t stop this high from happening. You have no practice in holding back your orgasms because you never got even remotely close to one in the first place. This is a skill you don’t possess, but right this moment you don’t care because with just a flick of his tongue and a curl of his finger, Yoongi actually sends you to heaven.

"Wow, oooh", you press out, reaching down to twist his hair. Your legs are shaking, your entire body is burning up. Yoongi guides you through your high, encouraging you with needy moans and eager licks. Even afterwards he keeps his mouth latched to your pussy, kissing her soothingly and making you sigh in complete bliss. 

“That was so nice”, you whisper and sniffle, “Yoongi I’m-” you can’t stop it from happening. You start crying. You start crying because the fact that someone loves you enough that he wants to make you feel good, overwhelms you. 

“Hey”, he is face to face with you instantly, hugging you safely, “it’s okay, I’m here.”

“It’s just so nice a-and it overwhelms m-me”, you stutter.

“Mhm, I hear you. It’s alright, I’m here now. It’s alright”, he soothes you. 

“Thank y-you”, you sob, snuggling into his safe chest. 

“Hey, of course. Oh my darling, don’t cry, it’s okay”, he whispers, holding you until you don’t feel like crying anymore. 

You just feel a little embarrassed, lifting your head with your cheeks burning up. You meet honest fondness in his eyes, no judgement just fondness.

“Sorry for crying”, you murmur. 

“Don’t apologise, it’s okay”, he assures you, caressing your cheek. 

"I'm just such a mess", you laughed as you said the words but carried sadness in your eyes.

Yoongi wipes your tears away, "that's alright. I'm here and won’t leave. We can work on this together." 

"Thank you", you whisper and touch his chest, "should I make you cum too?”

He laughs fondly, obviously surprised by your change in mood, but still completely enchanted.

“Only if you want to, you don’t have to.”

You tear up again, lower lip trembling.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“It’s just that I’m not used to having my, my needs ackno- oh god, sorry”

"Don't apologize, you’re safe here."

"Fuck Yoongi", you press out and laugh. This time around, you are the one to wipe your tears, doing so with a little grunt. You inhale and exhale, "now I kinda wanna make you cum", you confess in a laugh. 

He smiles, "yeah? Really?"

"Yes, you’re so awesome."

Yoongi blushes and gasps when you tug him closer by his shirt. Your eye contact is intense, filled with slight madness. 

"Can you fuck me? Just like this?" 

"Fuck ___ of course I can, but fuck."

"What?" 

"You turn me on so much." 

You giggle. 

"I'll just get a condom real quick", he says, pecking your lips before leaving the bed to get to his room. 

He returns a few moments later, carrying two condoms in case one of them breaks. 

"Be glad you don’t have a dick, because running with a boner is the worst sensation ever", he says, making you laugh. 

"I can imagine. But then, it’s not better with a vagina. It’s complete waterfalls once you stand up, and you can’t even stop it." 

Yoongi laughs, "sounds awful."

"Yeah." 

You probably would have continued laughing, hadn’t he taken his pants off and wrapped his fingers around his cock. He works skillfully to roll the condom on, but all you can concentrate on is his dick and just how fucking sexy it looks. Perfect in length, curved nicely and with the veins matching with those on his big hands. Meaning he had a perfectly shaped and veiny cock. 

"Damn Yoongs." 

He sneaks a glance your way.

"You like it?" 

"Yeah, it’s sexy as fuck."

"T-thanks", he struggles slightly now that he is jerking himself, "can you turn for me?"

You obey gladly, turning on the mattress so your lower body is now facing him.

Yoongi steps closer to the edge of the bed and rests his heavy cock on your pussy. With slow rolls of his hips, he rubs his cockhead back and forth, grinding against your clit as he does. It makes you sigh and squirm. He is so good.

"I can't wait to fuck you", he croaks, touching your dripping entrance with his fingertips, "wow sweetie, so wet. Do you want this cock?" he asks, spanking your clit with it softly. 

"Y-yeah." 

"Yeah", he repeats, outlining himself with you, "ready?" 

"So ready. " 

Yoongi slips in with one push, feeding you his length slowly and carefully. It feels fucking incredible to him, but he doesn’t let it show yet. His eyes are focused on your face, monitoring your expressions. You look entirely blissed-out. 

"How’s that?" 

"Fucking amazing. Yoongi, ah." 

Yoongi feels safe enough to move, moaning instantly. You whimper, lips curling into a happy smile. 

"Yes, oh god, yes." 

"You feel so good around me sweetie", Yoongi presses out, resting his hands on the mattress. Right beside your shoulders, making his length shift inside of you into an even better angle. With the help of his curve and his skilled movements, you feel like going up in flames. 

"Feels so nice…" you sigh. 

Being fucked feels so nice. It didn’t always feel like that, but this right here feels nice. Yoongi feels nice.

"Yes it does. You feel so fucking incredible", Yoongi is struggling with his words. He can’t concentrate. At least not on talking. Not when your body makes him feel so fucking eternal. 

"Don't...stop…" you beg him. 

"I won’t, I can do this all night." 

"Really?" 

"No, lies. I wanna cum. You’re such a turn on."

You laugh, peeling your eyes open. 

"Yoongi", you laugh, "oh? Yoongi…" you moan, trembling in pleasure.

"Isn’t that nice?" he asks, writing his name with his hips. He wants to let your pussy know just exactly who treats her so fucking well. She is not going to forget about how good sex feels like, Yoongi is making sure of it. 

"So nice", you keen, hooking your legs behind his lower back. You clench down on him, forcing a growl to rumble in his chest. 

"Relax sweetie, relax."

"I am.."

"No, you’re clenching. You'll make me cum, relax." 

"But I wanna make you cum", you whine, arching your back. 

Yoongi can’t help himself. He places his left hand on your back, tracing the arch of it until he reaches your exposed ass. He grabs it with both hands, keeping you arched for him. 

"Ah!" your moans pitch, your mouth falls open. 

"So pretty, so fucking good", Yoongi grunts, holding your squirming hips while his cock was making sure you were being fed well. Your feet are grinding against his lower back as you squirm, your fingers are twisting the sheets.

"Holy fuck Yoongi, holy fuck Yoongi. Yoongi, ah Yoongi." 

"I know, I can feel it. You’re taking me so well", he praises and connects his thumb with your clit. It is still so swollen and sensitive, throbbing under his fingertip as he rubs expert circles on it.

His cock, his finger, the position. Yoongi. Everything is turning you on to the point of no return. 

"Fuck darling", he grunts, "you like that, don’t you? You like it when I play with pretty, little clit as I fuck you, don’t you?" 

"Yes Yoongi, yes. Hnggn", you throw your head back, "ah!" 

Your back arches more, his cock slips deeper. Yoongi throws his own head back, feeling his knees buckle in bliss. 

"Fuck", he lets out that very distinct laugh he does. It sounds just slightly fake, but you know he only does it when he is genuinely stunned by something. Or in his songs. He loves doing this stupidly hot laugh in his songs sometimes. Knowing that you can actually and truly bring it out of him when you fuck him, scrambles your already scrambled brain to the point of no return.

"Fuck ___ I'm going insane, I wanna fucking cum." 

"Soon please soon", you beg.

"Yeah? You close?"

You whimper, giving him all he needed to know. 

"Fuck, then take your time."

"It's, it’s not long any-, ah, -more."

"So sexy, my darling's so sexy." 

That praise. That perfectly timed praise was all it needed. You break around Yoongi’s cock, clenching down on him to the point that he has to stop just so he wouldn’t accidentally trigger his own high. He lets you rut into his hand, gawking at your face with blown out pupils and his cock aching for release. 

"Yes ___ yes, give me everything. Cream my fucking cock, that’s it", he encourages you. 

"Yoongi please cum", you beg, aching for the sensations. 

"Fuck darling", he presses out, fulfilling your wish by finally moving his hips and riding on your high until the tight knot in his stomach breaks. 

"Ah-ah", he orgasms with a shuddering moan, fearing for his legs for a good second as they almost give up on him. You floating on your afterglow and helping him with his high in the process. This is the best orgasm he ever had.

Yoongi slacks against you once his high has died down, elbows working hard on keeping him from slipping. 

"Darling, sweetie", he whispers, nuzzling into your neck with a happy smile, "that was amazing. Holy fuck, I’m literally dizzy." 

You giggle, wrapping your limbs around him until he can’t help but fall. 

"Careful, careful my dick", he gasps.

"Oh! Sorry. Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, you just almost made the condom slip", he says, taking care of it before an accident can happen. He chuckles, "fuck ___, you’re so amazing. That was seriously so good." 

"Really?" you ask, changing your position so your head would be resting on his lap and your legs were bend behind his back. 

Yoongi smiles, tracing your features with tender fingers. 

"Yes really. You’re beautiful." 

"Wow", you whisper, "no uhm...hah, thank you." 

He gives you a reassuring smile, “you know what? Let’s prepare a really warm bath and take it together. That’ll help you relax.”

“Yes…wow… this sounds so romantic..wow."

You nod your head, gazing at his face as if he was your saviour and in a sense he was. He really did save you. He picked up the broken parts of your heart and fixed them with care and patience and without him you would still be lost in the pain of being loved by the wrong person.​

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[maaarshieee]

⎯⎯ ୨ This Guy's In love With You Pare ୧ ⎯⎯

ੈ♡˳ Alhaitham x Male!Reader *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ 6.9k words ┊ Fluff + Crack + Hurt/comfort *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ Masterlist *ೃ༄

author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

written as part of @yae-publishing-house's MODERN AU EVENT! yeah i made it into a school thing as well BUT THE SONG I BASED IT OFF WAS IN A SCHOOL SETTING... the song is the title, made by 'parokya ni edgar',,, we need more male reader content and this song came across my yt reccs once again so i HAD to write smth based off it,, have a good day/night!! ALSO THIS GOES TO MY FELLOW PINOYS,,, kausapin nyo naman ako tangina HAHAHA,, pare means bro/dude,, honestly i think this isn't good enough but huddsa,, long fic hehe (more in tags 💕)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: gay struggles, in denial of gay feelings AHAH, teens but same personalities, oblivious!reader, brief misunderstanding (reader is thought to be against gays), slight angst if you squint near the end, finding out your sexuality in the worst way possible /j, ooc alhaitham?, a whiplash of events and memories??? HAHAHAHA

"I'm telling you, that guy likes— loves you, dude."

Those words seemed to slow down time for you, the book in your hand long forgotten as your heart leaped up your throat. Heat spreads throughout your chest, creeping up your neck and to your cheek, and you aren't sure if it's from embarrassment from your friend's, Kaveh, assumption, or rage for such bullshit ideas he had started sprouting out of his good-for-nothing mouth. Blinking incredulously at Kaveh, who was, surprisingly, staring back at you with a rather serious expression, you shook your head in disagreement, glaring at the blonde beside you. When Kaveh said that you two needed to talk about something urgent, you should've known it was just one of his annoying antics, dragging you hurriedly all the way to the rooftop of your school for a silly joke.

With a soft sigh escaping your lips as your mind finally processed his nonsense, you threw a punch at Kaveh's unsuspecting arm, making him yelp in pain and glare back at you. "Hey! What the hell is that for!? I'm serious, you know!?" He hissed in pain, rubbing his aching shoulder as you proceeded to read once again, rolling your eyes. You couldn't believe you skipped lunch just for this, now you're hungry and distracted. Closing your book with a slam, you hit the hard cover against your forehead.

The burn on your cheeks hasn't left as your thoughts lingered on Kaveh's words. Alhaitham? Your long-time best friend? Love you? The thought seemed so absurd when Alhaitham acts like he could barely tolerate you. He was a student of high honors, always on top and taking the rightful title of Valedictorian. Alhaitham, without much effort, was impeccably famous all over school, both for his flawless marks and impressive looks, and his rather arrogant personality, mixed in with his logic-based mentality. Even if he wasn't well-liked across the school for his harsh comments and condescending impression of everyone, girls and boys alike couldn't help but swoon at his handsome but cold charms. And you? Well, you're just a normal student in the same school, with somewhat decent grades. One of the only reasons you haven't failed as much as you would've thought was because of Alhaitham. He told you one day that since he's your 'friend', he's obligated to at least ensure you won't drop out of school and have presentable grades for when you're bound to go to college. You weren't famous either, and there wasn't really anything about you that stands out, other than being Alhaitham's only friend, inside and outside of your school.

Plus, the only reason you and Alhaitham have stuck together for this long is that you've been friends since childhood, your parents being very close with one another and so the connection you've created ever since was difficult to sever now. Not like neither of you wants to part anyways, so you've grown fond of each other over the years, even if Alhaitham wasn't very expressive of it, so it would leave others to wonder if the two of you are truly friends or not. Both of you would always bicker, with Alhaitham scolding you for not taking your studies seriously and you remarking about him studying too much. Being with him only felt natural, being by his side a majority of the time you spent at school and home, letting him study at the seat next to you while you did anything you wanted to. Study sessions always included him, as well as lunch breaks, the end of school, holidays, and summer.

"You're thinking about him right now, are you?" Kaveh's voice snapped you back to reality, jerking your head away from the cover of your book as your eyes narrowed at the smug expression he wore on his face, arms crossed. "Don't tell me you love him too?"

Like a ticking time bomb, you could hear your heart pound against your ribcage in your ears, faint ringing in the distance, before your brain suddenly exploded at his accusation, your mouth forming into a snarl. "What!? Are you crazy!? We're both guys, Kaveh!" Although you were scowling at your friend that sat beside you, fuming at his nonsense blabbering, the heat on your face only intensified, and Kaveh was quick to take notice, teasing you even more. There was no way you'd like Alhaitham! Sure, he's been part of your life for so long that being without him feels utterly wrong, that you'd seek his company and would choose him over everyone else, doesn't mean you have romantic affections towards your best friend! That was just it, best friends, completely platonic and only favoring him more due to the time you've spent together, and knowing each other better than anyone else. And you're (somewhat) certain Alhaitham shares the same sentiment.

Kaveh was just being ridiculous, and you've had enough of it. You're going to prove to him that your best friend doesn't harbor feelings for you in that way, only seeing you as a trustworthy companion worthy of his time and friendship. With a scoff, you stood up from where sat, leaving Kaveh sputtering curses under his breath from your punches.

Sunlight peeked through the curtains of your room, dust and particles dancing from the light it brought as the cool wind made the plants sitting on your window sill bob and flutter. Right outside your door, you could hear the faint chattering of your family all across the living room, watching a comedy movie together, without you. Usually, you'd never miss out on the chance to be with your family to bond with them... But the past few days have left you in a daze and chaotic realization. You couldn't believe that you were saying this but... Kaveh may be actually right. Standing motionlessly in your bathroom, facing the mirror inches away from your face whilst your hands gripped the edges of the marble sink, your brows furrowed and eyes unfocused as you thought about your observations on Alhaitham, cold water dripping down your face.

At school, you've begun paying much more on everything Alhaitham does. From the way he talks, looks at people, reactions when others try talking to him, and certain things you do to get a rise from him. And to your horror, you've found out that Alhaitham does favor you over others, just not in the way you originally thought of.

Alhaitham has always looked at other people with this layer of frostiness no matter who they are, though he still does regard teachers and elders with a minute sense of respect, his eyes were still sharp as ever, calculating and impassive. But when he turns to look at you, you've taken note of how his eyes ever-so-slightly softened at the sight of you, the ice that would freeze strangers with a mere glance would melt, and instead of gazing at you with simple familiarity, you could sense a sort of fondness in his eyes as a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. What surprised you the most was when you often caught him staring at you— more specifically; your lips, when he had thought your attention was somewhere else, and not on him. Sometimes, he'd even subtly glance at your lips whilst you spoke to him, then return, maintaining eye contact with you, as if he was hinting at something he desired to do with them...

Alhaitham would typically avoid any sort of physical touch from others, and neither does engage in it. Why should he when he barely knew them, nor the fact that it was completely unnecessary? But when you wrap your arms around his shoulders as you walk down the halls together, nudge him with your elbow or lean against his body, he never spares you a glance, nor pushes you away. He never does, in fact, he seemed to rather indulge himself with your touch, relishing the warmth your hands bring and sometimes even initiating these touches himself. From wiping away messy crumbs from your lips, gently but firmly grabbing your wrist to lead you to the library where he always is, and pinching your cheek to wake you from your slumber to prevent you from getting caught by the teacher. You also noticed that he'd grow a tad bolder on some days, his touches lingering on your body, but would quickly return his hand to himself, flipping a page of the book he was reading. But you could tell, it was written all over his face, that he longed to touch you for longer periods, perhaps even hold you in his arms... Though, he didn't, not wanting to risk being the cause of making you uncomfortable.

You knew Alhaitham was very aware of how others would only come toward him to attain knowledge and assistance from one of the most brilliant students of the academy, hoping that if they managed to befriend him, their grades would exponentially increase! One thing they never took into consideration, though, is if they were up to Alhaitham's standards. But what are Alhaitham's standards? Does a person have to be sophisticated and at his level of smartness to befriend him? No, of course not, he could care less about who's smart or not, but no one will ever reach up to his very specific standards because, simply put, his standard is you. If Kaveh hadn't opened your eyes to this perspective of your dear best friend, you would've mistaken everything he has done for you as simple things friends do for each other. How come you haven't noticed it before? Were you so oblivious to this fact that you never caught wind of the double meaning of his actions that he only seemed to do for you? Using the excuse that you've never dated anyone yet was even too foolish! You hadn't realized that to everyone, it was fairly obvious and that it was only you who hadn't recognized that his feelings were more than platonic.

Hell, even your parents knew and they didn't even tell you! Cruel, you felt utterly betrayed by everyone you knew. But you were ultimately more upset at yourself. Seriously, who would buy you something that you had offhandedly mentioned a few years back, something that even you had forgotten, and give it to you on your recent birthday? Who else would buy you your favorite treats and snacks whenever he passes by a convenience store on the way to your house? Alhaitham would only ever agree if you were the one to ask him to help you with your studies— everyone else will be ignored and rejected. Alhaitham would only ever hear out criticism if it's from you. Alhaitham would always let things you did that didn't bide with the rules of the academy slide, pretending that you totally didn't accidentally break one of the bathroom doors with a click of his tongue and a brief scolding to be more careful, before pacing away from the crime scene.

You, you, you— it's always been you. Your belief that Alhaitham would never fancy a girl because his taste was too refined was a swing and a whole fucking miss from the actual truth, hitting you with the force of an oncoming truck. He wasn't interested in girls, not because the girls in the academy never aligned with his type, no, it was because he was fucking gay!

And you should've known better than to convey to Kaveh every single realization you've gathered throughout the span of a whole week, taking pleasure in watching you have an internal crisis at your conundrum. "I told you, and you didn't believe me!" Kaveh had a smug smirk on his lips that you longed to smack off his face. "Alhaitham is really fucking gay for you, bro." He relished your exasperated reactions, both hands on your face as he laughs out loud, slapping his knee. You buried your face further into your hands the more Kaveh teased you, face practically on flames on how hot it burned. A thought struck you, and you pulled your hands away from your face, eyes meeting the swaying leaves of potted plants that were littered across the rooftop of the academy (courtesy to Tighnari), the impending summer heat prickling the skin of your face, blinking away the brightness of your surroundings.

"Why hasn't he confessed to me then?" You asked no one in particular, eyes trailing back to your hands. Kaveh, who was stuffing his face with his lunch that he had brought up to the rooftop, without missing a beat, replied; "Because you're stupid enough to not see he's head over heels on you so he thinks you're straight." Frowning, you turned your head toward him with a raised brow, confused. "Think? But I am straight." Kaveh paused for a brief moment, before letting out a humored snort and shaking his head in disbelief. "Yeah right." That was his only comment and this earned another angered punch on his arm.

"Agh! Stop punching me when I'm only stating facts!" Kaveh huffed, rubbing his bruising arm once more, before smirking at you again, pointing a finger at you. "But with how much you're paying attention to him and acting weirdly, he'd confess to you sooner or later."

What he said made your heart race, because you had your own growing suspicions, as much as you'd hate to admit it. The moment Alhaitham detected your growing awareness of his affections toward you and hadn't distanced yourself from him upon revelation, he was becoming more audacious. Just a few minutes ago, before you ran off with Kaveh up the stairs, Alhaitham's managed to caress your cheek with the bullshit excuse that there was something on your face, and you knew that he wasn't hiding his true intentions either anymore, enjoying seeing you at a loss of words when his hand rested on the small of your back to lead you somewhere instead of typically grabbing your wrist, or compliment you out of the blue, even if you didn't do anything particularly outstanding.

It was so natural for Alhaitham, to let his actions speak so loudly what he truly felt without a trace of shame in his handsome features (wait, since when did you start thinking he's handsome?), with a confident poise, honeyed words that were a huge contrast to his stone cold character would roll off his tongue so smoothly that you'd find yourself drowning in his intense emotions. It throws you off, catches you off guard, makes your head all fuzzy, and then suddenly, you're hyper-aware of everything he does. Just for how long was he waiting for you to notice, so he could proceed without such excessive caution? He's been hanging out in your house every day, after every school, doing nothing in particular together. Since when has Alhaitham undoubtedly fallen for you? Understanding the only possible truth that Alhaitham had never spoken to you of his true feelings was because he was, what, afraid to risk a friendship that has lasted since you were children? It still baffles you to this day.

Despite Alhaitham's actions, you find yourself... yearning for more. How come? Well, you're certainly not gay. Perhaps you just enjoyed the attention he gave you? (He's with you every day, and doesn't pay mind to others. All of his attention has always been on you.) Perhaps you were just reassured that Alhaitham truly did like you and didn't think of you as a horrible person that he's stuck with? (Wait, since when, were you insecure—?) Whatever, it was, it isn't because you're gay! You don't reciprocate those romantic feelings on your best friend (how can you be so sure?)!

After a long, unbearable silence, you leaned back against the wall and ran your hand through your hair, heaving a deep sigh. This was all Kaveh's fault. Ever since he said those not-so-bullshit words to you, you've never been so conflicted about what you think of Alhaitham, and, unfortunately, of yourself. You weren't even sure if you were straight or not because you'd never had a crush on a girl because Alhaitham was the one hogging most of your attention.

"Yeah, I know."

Tonight is the night you will die.

And it is all your parents' fault.

They just had to ask Alhaitham over for dinner, and your mother had to suggest that he should sleep over for the night. Right after you told them that you had finally realized his feelings for you too! They mean well, that's for sure, but holy hell, you're about to lose your mind with how nervous you are. It wasn't the first time Alhaitham would be sleeping over at your house, but it was his first time sleeping over with both of you aware of one's feelings for the other. The urge to scream and run off by jumping out of your window has never been stronger. But you stayed, already taking out the extra mattress your family bought for Alhaitham's use whenever he stayed over, his pillows and blankets, placing them right on the floor, next to your bed. Tidying up your bedroom distracts you, straightening your sheets and comforter, and watering your plants. By the time you finished, your mother called you down for dinner and to open the door for your best friend.

Though you were originally anxious about Alhaitham's sleepover, you knew you could trust Alhaitham not to step over the line and make you feel uncomfortable. You were certain that it was the opposite of what Alhaitham would want, and that even if he does harbor romantic feelings for you, he would never force it upon you in a way that would leave you to tears. So you pretended it was as if you were unaware once again, acting how you'd normally do when Alhaitham would come over; excited and already dragging him inside your home to greet your parents (he calls your parents 'auntie' and uncle' and it was the last nail of your coffin filled with ever-so-late awareness).

And dinner was the same as always, filled with happy chattering and laughter, all of you not minding Alhaitham's bluntness nor his ramblings once one of your parents brought up a topic that piques his interest. They've known Alhaitham for as long as you have, growing fond of the boy as if he was their own. And you can tell that he shares the view, given how he was softly smiling the whole time you had dinner. After that, the two of you went straight to your bedroom when your mother rejected both of your offers to help in the kitchen and began talking about anything that comes to mind; be it school, plans for the next few days, a hobby, interesting facts or your annoying friend, Kaveh. At this point and time, the unspoken feelings he has for you completely slipped from your mind as the comfortable presence of your best friend settles beside you, listening to you rant about a new video game that was going to be released in summer, beaming in excitement, soliciting a quiet chuckle from Alhaitham.

But Alhaitham had to bring you back to reality once the both of you were tucked in comfortably in your own beds, ready to finally call it a day and just fall asleep. His words, though soft and low, his soothing voice turned into unpleasant ringing in your ears with the words he spoke. "Hey, are you still awake?" It was a simple question, but it made you stiff on your bed, squeezing your eyes shut to hide the fact that you were still awake, biting on your bottom lip. "I have something to confess to you." The pits of your stomach twisted as your heartbeat quickened as you had a sliver of hunch about what was about to transpire. Then, like a bucket of cold water was thrown all over your body, the grip you had on your sheets tightened when you heard the hushed shifting of his clothes, his presence nearing your form, your back facing him. "I like you more than you could ever imagine." He whispered against your ear, his hot breath hitting your skin, shivering upon the contact. Your breath hitched at his confession, your head spinning at how hot your cheeks burned, but you kept your eyes closed, not giving a single care anymore even if he knew that you were still awake. For a while, the both of you stayed like that, waiting for something to happen, for one of you to make a move with bated breaths... Before Alhaitham eventually pulled away from your 'sleeping' form, a small sigh left his lips. "C'mon, wake up." Alhaitham persisted, "Stop pretending to be asleep." He poked your side, and your body twitched, now scowling in annoyance and further embarrassment at your ticklishness. He tried a few more times, but you continued to ignore him, trying your best to fall asleep.

Fine then, Alhaitham huffed through his nose. He could deal with you tomorrow morning, after all. So he went back to his bed, lay down, and fell asleep with a smile on his lips. What Alhaitham didn't expect was for you to fully ignore him for the next few days. Upon waking up, he was surprised to hear from your father that you had woken up quite early before he could and managed to silently prepare yourself for school without waking him up. When Alhaitham got to school, he spent his classes all alone in his seat, your assigned chair that was always beside him always empty in every class the two of you shared. You've skipped classes beforehand, but he never thought you'd skip classes you had together. And while you'd often hang out with Kaveh on the rooftop to eat lunch, he was surprised to see Kaveh at their usual table without you, with Kaveh not knowing where you were because he had not seen you for the whole day. It's been like that ever since his verbal confession, with you skipping classes, exchanging seats with other students just to be far away from Alhaitham, and even not going to school at all. It may not show, but he was extremely worried.

It really wasn't your intention to avoid Alhaitham. You genuinely wanted to talk to him after what happened in your little sleepover, but being near Alhaitham would send your heart into a fucking frenzy and you'd be too lightheaded to properly speak to him. For the sake of your own survival, you had to avoid him until you've maintained a clear head around him. You didn't mean to worry him, and you definitely didn't mean to give him the wrong signals. After every school, he'd stop by your house, asking if you were home or if you were okay, and your parents would continuously deny him from entering your home as per your wishes. You kept leaving his messages on read too, the guilt slowly accumulating in your heart until it was about to burst. Messages from Kaveh told you that Alhaitham hasn't notably been doing well, lunches spent worrying about you or studying even more, and bags forming under his eyes as he thought of the possibilities as to why you were avoiding him.

Honestly? It sucked. You don't even remember the reason why you're avoiding him anymore in the first place, but the butterflies that filled up your stomach keep fluttering at the mere thought of Alhaitham, your heart beating so fast you believe you were about to die from a heart attack. Just why were you feeling like this? It was as if you were some lovesick girl that couldn't approach her crush— you dropped the glass of water you were holding in your hand, and the sound of shattering glass was akin to how your view of your entire life has shattered right before your eyes.

Was that it? The reason why your thoughts would race when you see him? The reason why your heart pounds so hard when he sends a smile your way, only for your eyes to see? Why you intrinsically stick by his side when you find him in the midst of a crowd? Why you feel much more relaxed with him than being in a room with a girl who was hinting that she liked you? Is that the reason why your mind has always been infested with the thought of your best friend? That when you go out with others, you'd be thinking wistfully of Alhaitham because he wasn't there with you? The constant longing, the envy you feel when girls stare for far too long, the absolute pride you feel when he wins at international academic contests. You felt goosebumps form on your forearms as you gripped the edge of the kitchen counter. Holy fuck... You were...

"Sweetie?" The sweet, gentle voice of your mother entered the premises of the kitchen with a small gasp escaping her lips when she caught sight of the shattered glass littered across the floor, rushing towards your paling form. "Are you okay? What happened? You look like you've seen a ghost!" She queried worriedly, wiping away the cold sweat that formed on your forehead as you wrapped your arms around your mother, bathing in her loving presence and burying your face onto your shoulder. "Dear me, you're shaking! Just what happened?" Taking in a deep, shuddering breath, you finally found your voice to speak.

"I think... I'm gay..."

Silence...

Then you heard your mother hold back a snort, and your heart broke to a million pieces at this utter betrayal. But she wasn't making fun of you, the hug she was giving you says that much, but she was quite amused that it took you this long to figure it out. Caressing the back of your head with her hand and a tender kiss on your temple, she cooed lovingly as she felt your tears wet her shoulders, reassuring as much as she can that she accepts you wholeheartedly, you were her son after all, nothing could ever change that fact. Just as your breathing was beginning to sync with hers, gradually calming down on your own terms in your mother's arms, she suddenly whispered; "We've known since you were little."

You choked on your spit, startled at her as-a-matter-of-fact tone of voice, pulling away from the hug as you stared at her with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"What do you mean by that!?"

For the first time that week, you finally met Alhaitham outside of school.

You were on your way to the grocery store to buy some ingredients before tonight's dinner, not paying much attention to your surroundings as your head was lost in the clouds. The skies were painted with warm orange, red and yellow hues as the sun began its descent, the moon peeking around the corner for its rise. Kids across the street were beginning to retreat back into their homes, waving their goodbyes and promising to play with each other once again the next day. It made you feel nostalgic, it felt like it was just yesterday when you were as carefree as the children in your neighborhood, playing with friends. Well, if you count running across the grass fields while Alhaitham read a book from afar as 'playing with friends'. A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips, though it was quickly wiped off when a hand suddenly gripped your wrist with such force you thought that they were going to break it. A sense of urgency washed through your body as the peace and tranquility of your walk were ruined by the unexpected perpetrator who grabbed you, but before you could land a punch on their face, you were swift to stop yourself from doing so upon recognizing who it was.

"Alhaitham, what the hell— hey! Let go, man!"

You wriggled in his grasp when he started dragging you away from the direction of the grocery store, lightly hitting his back when his grip only tightened on your wrist, panic rising in your mind. You had no intention of dragging your avoidance on Alhaitham any longer, deciding that you'd come face to face with him once you start attending classes completely to make up for your absences and skipping, but you hadn't anticipated that you'd meet him on your way to buy some ingredients, much less drag you to the park. Eventually, you gave up on trying to escape confrontation with Alhaitham, the guilt that you'd been ignoring for the past week gnawed on your insides as you followed him on the familiar path. You recognized this part of the park, at the edge of the forest where your parents would chastise you for always trying to cross the rickety fence that separates the park and the forest. Being the rowdier child, you'd always try to climb the fence only to be slapped in the face by Alhaitham's small hand. His steps finally came to an end in front of the lone tree that the fence had to swerve around to not chop it down. It was a tree you were fond of, climbing up its branches just to shake off leaves onto Alhaitham since he liked to read under its shade, giggling at his angered yells.

Letting go of your wrist, Alhaitham crossed his arms and turned to face you with a very cold look on his face, a type of expression he has never directed at you before, sending shivers up your spine. You couldn't help but give him a sheepish smile that wavered under his suffocating gaze, rubbing the back of your neck. "Haha... Hey..."

"You have a minute to give sufficient reasons, not excuses, as to why you've been avoiding me for the whole week; so much so that you're willing to risk your academic records for the sake of not coming eye to eye with me," Alhaitham demanded, not asked, of you, his eyes narrowing at your anxious fidgeting. Swallowing the shame that rose up to your throat, you opened your mouth to try and explain yourself, but the only thing you could make out was a small meek noise, before shutting your mouth once more, eyes boring onto the grass that flowed with the wind. A minute has passed and neither of you has said a single word, Alhaitham's stare slowly intensifies with every passing second, and you shrink down on yourself as the impulse to run away, to avoid him again grows more and more tempting. Just as you were about to open your mouth to attempt to speak, Alhaitham let out a long, drawn-out sigh, his expression once filled with seriousness morphing into a much somber one, averting his gaze from you. Caught off guard by the sudden change of mood, the words on the tip of your tongue were blown off by the wind at what he said in a low, gentle tone as he took a step toward you. "I... Apologize if I made you extremely uncomfortable with my confession..."

Darkness was slowly engulfing the skies as the stars began to twinkle down on you, faint chirping of crickets can be heard all around you as fireflies, one by one began lighting up on the spot where you stood. Ah, you remember now. During your childhood, you'd throw rocks at Alhaitham's window, in the dead of night, to sneak him out to the park, to the spot you'd always hang out at the edge of the forest to watch the fireflies light up the night sky, dancing and fluttering around the tree where you shared a lot of memories together. You'd force Alhaitham to catch fireflies with you, and every time he'd begrudgingly agree, you'd be graced with the image of a usual stoic boy turn into a carefree, fun-loving boy that laughed as much as you did, running around to catch more fireflies that you then roll onto the grass as he trips. Your heart clenched at those memories, your eyes now staring deeply into his teal eyes that glinted with indefinite shades of maroon, the sincerity sinking deep into your skin as he continued to speak, the yellow lighting highlighting his pretty face, filled with regret and a forlorn frown etched on his lips. "I just want you to know that you needn't return my affections for you and that I would never force them onto you. After all, I've known you forever and... I would love to keep the friendship we've made..." If it wasn't for fireflies lighting up your darkening surroundings, you wouldn't have seen how his eyes began to glisten, the way his hands lightly trembled as he forced himself to stop it.

"You still have a friend in me that you can depend on." Bowing down his head, his bangs completely covering his eyes, hands both clenched into fists at his sides. "So, please, if you could just forget everything I said and..." Everything after that part became muffled in your eyes, your emotions fluctuating inside your mind. But you know for certain that you weren't about to reject Alhaitham, no, not when your heart thrummed at the thought of his touch, not when the tips of your ears burned at the sight of him after so long. The years you've spent with Alhaitham were only filled with meaningful experiences with one another, and not short of joy. There were times of disagreements, of days where the days were filled with rain as the two of you loathed one another with such intensity, in the end, you would make up and fix what needed to be fixed, learning from past mistakes and understanding each other on a whole different level. You don't spend much time apart, and when you do, both of you long for each other, as if a piece from a puzzle has been torn off, and once that piece was put back to its rightful place, it will cling onto each other for as long as they could, basking with the other's presence and filling the void of loneliness that drilled into your hearts.

Without a doubt, you love Alhaitham, you've always had, and you regrettably only learned only now, letting him go through years of yearning and then heartbreak for your cowardice. So, in the heat of the moment, with the light that's faintly emitting from each firefly that danced around like stars in the night blurring into the background as you took a step forward, inching your faces close to each other until you could feel his breath against your lips. Alhaitham's breath caught in his throat, about to recoil from your proximity, only to be stopped by your hands holding onto his broad shoulders. After a brief moment of hesitance, you closed your eyes and closed the gap between you, your arms slowly wrapped around his neck as you pressed your body against his. He went frigid under your touch, eyes blown wide at the sensation of your lips pressed against his, clearly inexperienced, but eager to express that you had struggled to show him in simple actions and through words. When you were about to retract from the kiss, suddenly becoming insecure at his lack of reciprocation, Alhaitham's hands firmly gripped your hips, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss that you had initiated, by your own free will, and guided your lips to properly kiss until the fuzziness on your lips traveled all the way up to your head, growing weak on your knees.

Once you've finally parted to breathe some air, you buried your face onto his neck, your lips trembling at how good he was at kissing. Geez, what the hell? You could barely think straight after that. Maybe it was the sudden spike in adrenaline flowing through your veins when Alhaitham had dragged you back into this old spot of your childhood, now came crashing down after the kiss full of bliss as you lean your weight against Alhaitham's body for support, his arms wrapping around your torso. Letting out a shaky breath, you murmured against his skin, "'M sorry for avoiding you... I hadn't meant it— I just grew afraid for no reason when you suddenly confessed, even if I knew you had romantic feelings for me for quite some time..." The grip you had on his clothes tightened as your voice grew more and more silent, barely above a whisper at this point, and yet Alhaitham heard you loud and clear, amidst the loud chirping of crickets and the sounds of leaves swaying along the wind,

"I drowned in so many emotions, I was so overwhelmed just at catching a glimpse of you... Then I realized that, yeah, I'm fucking gay too." He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in, his embrace tightening around you reassuringly, encouraging you to go on. Choking back a sob, you shamefully tried to stop your tears from falling, heart painfully pounding against your chest, "And it fucking upsets me for not realizing that I've loved you from the start, that in my whole life, I thought I was straight when in actuality, I was just oblivious with how I felt towards you... I'm so sorry, Alhaitham..."

Ah, so that's how it is. It wasn't sheer disgust of his feelings for you, nor he had made you extremely uncomfortable. It pains him that he had thought of the worst, jumping to conclusions without further proof to solidify his assumptions on how you felt. He had boasted that he thinks based on rationality and logic only, but when it comes to you? His mind becomes a jumbled mess of emotions, it was as if his heart took full reign of his mind and body. "Please don't apologize, I understand." He whispered softly, his hand caressing the back of your head and playing with the hem of your shirt. He could feel your heart beating against his, body shaking as you held on desperately to his clothes. "I apologize for confessing at such an unpleasant time, for making you go through such a rough actualization of your sexuality..." The rumble of his chest at each word he spoke was enough to reduce your cries into nothingness, sniffling and wiping your tears with your hands.

With a soft grunt, you laid your cheek against his shoulder, completely melting in his arms the both of you got down on the ground, Alhaitham leaning against the tree and you on his lap. "Okay, let's stop apologizing to one another... I think we're even now..." Alhaitham agreed with a nod, keeping you close to him as he watched the fireflies finally disappear into the night, the moon now high above the skies. Pulling your head away from his shoulder, you peered into Alhaitham's eyes, a curious glint in your eyes. "Where did you learn how to kiss like that?" You questioned him, knowing full well that he's never been in a relationship, both due to his personality and adoration towards you. "I read books." His response left you speechless, staring at him with pure disbelief. Alhaitham only raised a brow at you, the corners of his lips curling up into an amused smile. "What? It proved to be effective, right? You were shaking against me after we parted."

Heat blossomed all throughout your face and onto the tips of your ears as you glared daggers at Alhaitham, strongly flustered upon recalling your kiss. True, it did leave you quivering, but he didn't have to rub it in your face! "You fucking nerd..." You grumbled under your breath, slapping a hand on his arm. Stupidly enough, you felt butterflies annoyingly flutter inside your stomach when Alhaitham let out a wholehearted laugh at your reaction, something you haven't heard in ages suddenly emerging out of nowhere. Perhaps it was the influence of the nostalgia of his memorable spot you've revisited after all those years, it was a place where you remember most of his laughs, giggles, and bright smiles.

God, you hated love. It was so sappy and cliche and it makes you impeccably dumb. Ugh. You could feel yourself cringing at the words you were about to say. "Ah but... that was my first kiss, and you can really tell I'm not really good at it..." Alhaitham hummed in acknowledgment, signaling for you to go on. "Could you... teach me how to kiss? Perhaps give me a live demonstration too?" You suggest, your hand cupping his cheek as you adoringly caressed it. A smug smirk stretched his lips as he leaned his face close to yours once more, only inches apart. "Of course, I'll gladly lend my knowledge to such an eager learner."

And with that, Alhaitham pulled you into a slow, passionate, and loving kiss. Two missing pieces finally put together, languidly moving against each other, taking the other deeper to devour more. The faint vibrations of your phone in your pocket were ignored as the minutes went by. You'll apologize to your parents later on, knowing full well that they'd forgive you without a second thought if they knew you were making out with your childhood best friend in your secret spot in the park.

Well, they don't need to know about that part, but you honestly couldn't care less at the moment, too lost in the bliss of finally, through years of obliviousness, being together, as the world intended you to be.

If you want to be tagged in future works, fill out this form to be added to my taglist! Remember that usernames are only lowercase and have no spaces!

Taglist: @anniejourn, @dilucssiliconedildo, @achlysyo, @sunoo-bby, @iyagato, @randomidk-123, @kujobug, @louise-rosita-leroux, @eliciana, @gattahaveit1, @vvyeislazzy, @ehe-te-nandayou, @raideneiari, @kiwii-i, @mrscarolscaramoucheplease, @trannyctophiliac, @styxfly, @yourdailymemedelivery, @meisene, @rxd-iant

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛❛ If you like this a lot, consider reblogging! I'll appreciate it very very much! Don't repost and/or translate my work anywhere. ❜❜ ┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

#yaepublishinghouse #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x male reader #genshin x reader #genshin x male reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x male reader #:;marshie.writes #:;oneshots #:;event.writing #:;alhaitham #i want more gay panic fics like this #i think its #very nice to address this kind of coming to terms of your own sexuality #and while this was quick acceptance since its a crack fic #accepting that youre gay and that you're inlove with someone of the same gender can be tough #especially if you grew up in an environment that taught you that being gay would send you to hell #not everyone have the ability of acceptance as others #is just what i think tbh #maybe im just making shit up but thats how i fuckin felt when i realized after years of being transphobic and homophobic (grew up in- #a catholic country) that im transmasc and gay #horrible tbh but when u surround urself wtih ppl who accept for who u are #it gets easy :) #my fav trope in fil media is when a gay character comes out of the closet and everyone's like 'we know' HAHAAHHA #wrote reader like a bl mc...

[itsjusthockey]

Moth To A Flame - Jack Hughes & Trevor Zegras

Hahaha another angst fic (cheating, which is bad but its for the plot)(also wrote a long time ago but decided you all would maybe enjoy?)

Thank you all for followers and love, I eat that shit up

Send in requests and questions, I wanna bond guys

Hope you enjoy

wc: 2,921 (credit to gif maker)(don’t steal my work)(song is by the weekend)

Like a moth to a flame

I'll pull you in, I'll pull you back to

What you need initially

It's just one call away

And you'll leave him, you're loyal to me

But this time, I'll let you be

Hotels always make you feel weird. Your legs ache. It feels like a million tiny pinpricks in your thigh; if you lay on your left, it goes away. But then your arm starts to hurt, so you lay on your back—the pinpricks resume. So you lay on your right; the pricks don’t go away, so you try to ignore them. Your toes curl from the aching and your hands are shaking a bit too. You need some water. You turn to your left side again, contemplating just getting up and getting something to drink.

“If you’re gonna flip flop all night, can you at least do it gently so I can sleep?”

Your eyes widen as the ragged sound of Trevors voice fills the once dead silent hotel room. The words aren’t harsh, but you can’t help but notice the annoyed tinged when he throws the words at you.

You thought he was out cold since he seemed to be exhausted from practicing all day. The All-Star NHL game was in full swing, and he had no time to do anything other than eat, sleep, practice, and play. Guilt washes over your body as you turn over to face his back. He was asleep on his stomach, his face nestled into the crook of his arm, having seemingly fallen asleep after your interruptions. You want him to touch you, to hold you. To do anything to have a reminder that he’s there and that he cares, but you know that’s too much to ask.

You almost let a quiet apology slip past your lips, but you don’t bother once you realize that he is as good as dead to the world.

You turn your back away from him, sliding your phone off the desk and opening it. You’re beyond restless, and nothing can calm your wandering mind, and before you can stop them flashes of your past but still haunting relationship echo through your head. You used to be comforted when you couldn’t sleep. You remember the late-night drives, the listening to music while he gently traced your skin, the amazing sex if you were wound up.

This relationship wasn’t that; this could never be that.

Before you can control your fingers, they hover over his phone contact, touching so close to the screen that if you move even slightly, you’d be dialing his number.

You stay there for a minute, staring at the screen when you feel Trevor shift beside you. You don’t bother to look at the screen as you toss it away, placing it on the nightstand. You slow your breathing and force yourself to sit still. You don’t want to bother him.

You sit there for what feels like an eternity, with the entire weight of the world pressing down on your chest. You want to scream, you want to panic, but you just lay there, staring at the ceiling, hoping when you wake up, you won’t feel as bad as you do right now.

Cause he seems like he's good for you

And he makes you feel like you should

And all your friends say he's the one

His love for you is true

His alarm wakes you out of your slumber or whatever you could call the limbo that you were in. You want to move, but you catch yourself staying still in the bed as you feel him swing his legs off the mattress and onto the floor. You open your eyes slightly and watch as he stretches his back, cracking it as he does and slipping on a t-shirt that was thrown on the floor the night before. You close your eyes again and try to feign sleep, but you taken out of it when you feel Trevor plant a wet kiss on your cheek.

Your awake now, but before you can react to anything, Trevor is burying his face into your neck, wrapping his arms around your torso and you’re breathing in the smell of his body wash. After a few minutes of laying there in silence, his one hand busy tracing shapes on your torso while the other is on your back, he lifts his head, removing it from the crook of your neck. He smirks up at you before kissing a line up your jugular, placing the last kiss right on your lips.

His lips linger on top of yours for a few seconds, and your fingers entangle into his hair as he holds your jaw into place, deepening the kiss.

Finally, he pulls away from you, looking deep into your eyes. You almost hated when he looked at you like that. His eyes bore into your soul and made your stomach do flips. You never thought you’d let a man make you feel such deep emotion again, and it made you feel endlessly guilty all over again.

“You wanna get some breakfast before I head to the rink?”

You nod, not trusting your voice to speak quite yet. He smiles a wicked smile and gets up, heading in the direction of the bathroom and closing the door.

You finally pull yourself off of the bed and stroll to your suitcase. The case was a slight mess, but it was your fault after trying to find the number necklace you always wear when you’re around him.

You pick out something to wear, and after 20 minutes of getting ready from both parties, you’re walking down the street, hand in hand, toward a diner you had seen when you pulled into your hotel.

You can’t help but smile as you eat breakfast. He’s cracking jokes and messing around with the different condiments, and you can’t help but let your heart fill with adoration. He’s the only guy in the world, and you kick yourself for thinking otherwise.

You’re enjoying your food and talking aimlessly when the bell on the door rings as it opens. You’re sitting facing away from the door, but when Trevor looks up and his face falls, you know it can’t be someone good who just entered.

You whip your head around faster than you should, and you immediately lock eyes with the green orbs you spent so many nights staring into. You swallow hard and rip your eyes away, turning back to Trevor, who is glaring daggers at his once best friend that just walked in. You go to say something to make him feel better, but he puts up a hand to stop you, instead opening his mouth.

“My appetite is ruined; let’s just go.”

You don’t argue as he drags you out of the booth, throwing way more money than needed down on the table. You can tell he is beyond pissed by the way his jaw is locked, and he pulls you a little harder than he should toward the exit.

You walk fast along with him, but the second before you’re pulled from the diner, you pull your head back to look. Your eyes meet with his again, and he gives you a small smirk.

You hate the way it still makes your heart skip.

But does he know you call me when he sleeps?

But does he know the pictures that you keep?

But does he know the reasons that you cry?

Oh, tell me, does he know where your heart lies?

Where it truly lies

It was much later in the day, and you’re on edge. This morning's little interaction had caused both you and your boyfriend's moods to sour. Now, you know better than to talk to Trevor. He was distracted and didn’t play well. He missed easy passes, didn’t score, and let the man who he hates score a goal right by him. After the game he insisted he was fine you don’t want to be on the receiving end of the temper you know he has.

So instead, you’re wandering the hotel halls when you come across a little lounge area that looks surprisingly welcome. You take a seat on a little couch area and contemplate what to do with the passing time before your boyfriend calms down. You wanna go and be there for him, but you realize that distance may be better for the both of you.

You’re aimlessly scrolling through your phone when you hear someone clear their throat. Your eyes dart up to meet the culprit, and your stupid heart swells when you meet his eyes for the third time that day. He steps into the room like he owns the place and goes to sit in the chair that’s directly opposite of you, leaning as close to you as the chair would let him.

“How’d you sleep last night?”

The question is laced with some humor, and you don’t miss the way his eyes light up with slight mischief. You shake your head.

“It was actually great; I slept amazing cuddling with my boyfriend.” You emphasize the word boyfriend as your stare hard at him.

He chuckles, but there is little humor to it.

“Sure, I can tell from the massive bags under your eyes and the fact that I got a phone call last night.”

Terror flashes across your face, and you pray he’s lying as you look through your call list. Much to your horror, you see an outgoing call to him late in the night, and you realize you had hit the stupid button when Trevor had stirred next to you.

You’re at a loss for words, but you try to explain yourself, but he stops you.

“Don’t try to justify it. It’s nice to know you think about me just as much as I think about you.”

You protest, but he stands up quickly, snatching your phone from your hands. You go to grab it, but before you can, he holds you away from him with his ridiculous arm span.

You stand there defeated as he scrolls for a minute before he finds what he’s looking for, and he smirks once again as he shows you your phone. There in front of your face, is the hidden app that holds all your darkest secrets. You remember once telling him about it while you were drunk, but you hoped he had forgotten it.

“Does Trevor know you still keep all these?” There was no humor in his voice. Rather instead, it was filled with slight anger.

You watch silently as he scrolls through your entire relationship, all reduced to pictures you swore you would delete but never could.

Once he is satisfied with your utter humiliation, he stops scrolling and hands you back your phone. He is staring so deeply into your eyes that you have to look away. You have no idea why he’s doing this to you, but you can’t find the words to tell him to leave.

You both sit there in silence until he gets up, running his finger frustratingly through his hair, and heads for the door. He halts before he leaves, turning slowly back to face you and speaking softly.

“Happy would’ve been two years.”

Just like that, he walks out the door.

Yeah, you should be with him

I let you go from time

You should stay with him

'Cause he seems like he's good for you

And he makes you feel like you should

And all your friends say he's the one

His love for you is true

It’s late when you make your way back to the shared hotel room. You open up the door with the key, and you quietly click it shut once you enter.

Trevor is asleep as you walk toward him. The moonlight of the window reflects on the clear skin of his bare back. You reach out to run your fingertips across the skin. The warmth radiates off his tan skin, almost as if he’s burning up. You climb into bed and scoot closer to him, pressing your chest against the back of his. Your cold hands wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer, earning a wince from the boy facing away from you.

He turns around to face you, and when he looks into your eyes, he can tell something is off. However, he doesn’t push. Instead, he places a light kiss on your lips and tuns over once more.

You’re stuck in a never-ending cycle. You wish he would push; you wish he would do anything to break down the walks that are forming around your heart. You wish he would see that you’re slipping away from him. But he doesn’t; instead he just sleeps, and you’re stuck thinking about all the things that have happened and all the things that could have been.

-But does he know you call me when he sleeps?

But does he know the pictures that you keep?

But does he know the reasons that you cry?

Oh, tell me, does he know where your heart lies?

Where it truly lies

Right here with me, babe

Where it truly lies

In my bed, babe

Where it truly lies

In my arms, babe

It’s 3:13 in the morning when you give in to your darkest desires. It’s a simple text that you send, but you know he’s awake, and you know he’ll answer. Even though you know, as soon as you press send, your heart begins to pound. You’re scared it will pound so hard that you’ll wake Trevor, so you force yourself to calm down.

It’s 3:15 when he answers.

It’s 3:19 when guilt washes over your body as you turn over to face Trevor. He’s sleeping on his stomach again. The duvet had been kicked to the bottom of the bed by him at some point in the night. The boy was like a damn space heater; he never got cold and always radiated heat in the night, no matter the time of year.

You stare at him for a while longer when you decide. You wait a minute to hear his breathing, and it’s steady. Knowing you’re in the clear, you get up slowly and softly, and by 3:22, you’re knocking on the door of someone else.

When he opens the door, he smiles as though he had won the lottery, and he quickly pulls you inside. His hand grabs your waist suddenly, earning a gasp in shock from you, and he lifts you up as if you are weightless, pressing you against the closed door.

He doesn’t waste any time. He has always loved neck kisses more than he loved real kisses. He loved everything about your neck. The way his face fit perfectly into it. The way you’d get goosebumps when he held the back of your neck in his hands while he kissed you. The way you let him hold your life in his hands as he wrapped his hands around your neck during sex. The way your neck looked the morning after a passionate night, covered in bite marks. The way your fingers would run across them the next day, and you’d hit him for being so careless.

Scratch that; he didn’t just love your neck; he loved everything about you. He loved everything you hated about yourself, and you knew that. The way he’s looking at you has you breathless and you felt the butterflies multiplying in your stomach when he carries you from the door to the bed.

As he crawls on top of you, you couldn’t think of anything else in the world. You had him right there in front of you, and that was all you ever need. You knew deep down that in the early morning hours, you would hate yourself, but you don’t care. You wasted so much time trying to train your heart to belong to someone else when all along, you both knew he owned it. So, you drown out these thoughts as clothing is quickly scattered across the room. But before goes went any further, Jack stops his actions and looks at you once again, a questioning look crossing his darkened eyes.

“Before this goes any further, tell me you love me.” He pauses, his eyes holding a thousand emotions. “Tell me that you’re heart is mine.”

You whisper that it’s his a thousand times. You meant it when you told him that all those months ago, and you’ll mean it forever. For some stupid, god damn reason, you knew that if Jack Hughes were the sun, you would gladly change your name to Icarus. If he was the moon, then you are the tides that he pushes and pulls. If Jack belonged to you, to you belonged to him, well...you don’t have to imagine that anymore. He is your’s, as you are his. 

Old habits die hard, but they are not immortal and you are only human. A human who make mistakes and will have to pay for them, but also a human whose heart beats in tandem with one other person. You now understand, lying there as he continues the assault on your heart, that your soul was made to complete his. You now know that no matter what you do, how hard to try to get away, that you’re no better than a moth to a flame when it comes to him.

#hockey #hockey boys #hockey imagine #hockey x reader #imagine #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #hockey fic #jack hughes #jack hughes imagine #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras #angst #anaheim ducks #new jersey devils #jack hughes x reader #nhl hockey

[chiharuhashibira]

I want these drabbles right now

I wanna read about Kyojuro and Giyu being your secret boyfriend crush while you are another Hashira's tsugoku.

So here it is! My mixed-imagine/drabble as I can't write short fics that well hahaha! I'm too detailed but Imma try!

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

𝑯𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 & 𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐗 𝐓𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Content Warnings: None ^^

=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

🌸𝑲𝒚𝒐𝒋𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝑹𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒐𝒌𝒖🌸

You are Lord Tengen's tsugoku. You first met Kyojuro when Lord Tengen introduced you to him when he visited his best friend. His glistening eyes and flame-like hair, which you'll swear scintillated under the sun, can't help but draw your attention. A hit behind your head, and you were down.

"Y/N-chan? Are you alright?" You heard a loud voice that snapped you back to reality.

"Eh, she'll be fine. It's her fault for not being flashy." Lord Tengen's voice echoed as you sat up, rubbing the back of your head. "I'm sorry, Lord Tengen." You bowed, and your master just patted your head. "That's fine, little one. Just make sure to do better tomorrow. Today's training is over."

"Thank you, Lord Tengen."

The man pulled his friend away, but before completely taking him away, Kyojuro turned back to you and gave you a big smile. You blushed and immediately gave him a sweet smile. That's the first time that your heart has started beating fast for someone.

--

Kyojuro's visits became more frequent. He would even volunteer to train you for a day, which would make Lord Tengen happy as he could finally spend more time with his wives. Being your sub-trainer and also the one who sets your heart ablaze, you can't help but observe all his actions, taking them all in and applying them to yourself.

And as time passed, your Sound Breathing improved, which obviously made Tengen boast about you to his other pillars. Kyojuro sat beside you and draped his hands across your shoulder.

"I'm proud of you, little one." 

He says, imitating how Lord Tengen addressed you. This will definitely make you blush, almost wanting to just throw yourself on him to give him a smooch.

"Thanks to both of you." You said, smiling back.

--

For some reason, your first mission after that event was with Kyojuro. Tengen drapes his hand across your shoulder and tells you that he's confident that Kyojuro will take care of you. You swear that you saw Lord Tengen wiggle his eyebrows at Kyojuro, which made the flame incarnate red.

So during the mission, the Flame Hashira would often share his meals with you on your travels. Of course you would accept. But there's one thing. He wants to feed it to you like a little girl. Yes, the Flame Hashira seemed to not care about you indirectly kissing him through his chopstick. The thought makes you internally scream. His "UMAI" will stop those internal screams! Yes, he loved food, and you loved watching him eat.

Kyojuro would talk with you about his little brother, as he is also comfortable with you because of the bond that you have forged with him during your training. You love the way he talks and the way his eyes shine brightly while doing so. He's a little touchy, patting you by the shoulder, touching your arm, and even playing with your hair as he says, They look good.

However, in the battle, Kyojuro didn't give you a special treatment. He believes in your ability; he's your number two fan. Yes, because Lord Tengen is number one. But of course, he makes sure to help you whenever you're in trouble.

Both of you managed to finish the mission with minor wounds. But still, Kyojuro made sure that you were okay, always asking if there were other parts of you that were aching. Your heart wanted to just kiss him there.

When you're both sent back to Lord Tengen's estate as there's no need for major procedures on your injuries, Lord Tengen's three wives pull you into their embrace, with, of course, Suma crying her eyes out. Kyojuro looks at his best buddy and tells him how great you did at the fight.

Kyojuro spends the night in Lord Tengen's place because he is too tired. You visited him in his room and handed him some tea that you had made for him. Being the modest man he is, he couldn't help but blush as he looked at you, clad in clothing that matches Tengen's wives.

"Y-You're not cold with those clothes?" He asks shyly, handing you his uniform's jacket.

You took it, of course; you're in love with the man, so why not? You draped it over your shoulder, and you stopped yourself before all hell broke loose as his warmth and the scent of forest and campfires blanketed you.

Kyojuro asks you to sit with him, which you do, and he would ask you how your day has been and also ask about your injuries, making sure you are okay. He would even joke that if he didn't know who you were, he would mistake you for one of Tengen's wives because you are so beautiful.

"B-Beautiful?" You asked, blushing, which made Kyojuro realise that he had said too much. He went on all fours and bowed at you. "I'm sorry, I'm not looking at you in a bad way, Y/L/N-chan. You're just too beautiful to be ignored. I mean, you're strong and—"

You cut off his words with your sweet chuckle, which eventually made him look up. "Rengoku-san, thank you. You're beautiful as well." You said that made the guy almost lose his strength to do total concentration breathing.

--

Kyojuro's visits became more frequent after that evening than they had previously been. And he would bring you take-home meals that he had bought on his missions. He thinks of you more often as well. You even notice how he tries his best to give you a smile, even if he is in training with Lord Tengen. And there was a hit on the back of his head, and he fell down.

"Sorry buddy! I wasn't concentrating!"

Tengen would usually laugh it off, but of course, even without you two knowing, the man already knows that you two like each other.

But then, surprisingly, at the end of that day, Kyojuro finally confessed to you. Yes, he's the first to have revealed his feelings.

"I love you, Y/LN-chan!"

"Rengoku-san? You mean it?"

"Yes Y/L/N-chan! So, hush little darling, I'll do my best to make you happy."

"I love you too; I always did."

And of course, you accept it, finally getting the chance to throw yourself on him and give him that passionate kiss you have longed to do.

🌸𝑮𝒊𝒚𝒖 𝑻𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒐𝒌𝒂🌸

You're the Love Hashira's tsugoku. Mitsuri has adored you since she first laid eyes on you, so she took you in as the successor of Love Breathing. And so, she will take on your training, and one day, both of you will accidentally stumble on her fellow Hashira, Tomioka.

Knowing Mitsuri, she invited the man to stay for a while for lunch. Despite his cold facade, Giyu didn't reject Mitsuri and walked inside the inn with the two of you. That's the first time that you've met the Water Hashira, and since then, you can't take your eyes off him.

Tomioka doesn't talk to you, obviously, because even with his fellow Hashira, he isn't that chatty. You and Mitsuri knew that the ravenette man would accompany you in surveying the secluded town where suspected demonic activity is happening. You wanted it, but you also felt like it would be kind of awkward.

In surveying, you need to disguise yourselves, so the three of you went into a kimono shop and bought clothes to wear. After that, Mitsuri decided that she'd survey on her own, acting as if she were a food connoisseur. You complained, but she said that she couldn't let you work on your own, especially if the mission needs two Hashiras, so you need to be with Tomioka and pretend as if you're married or something.

"Can we be like siblings?" Tomioka asked, perhaps uncomfortable with the thought. You sighed and just agreed, even if you didn't want to. You're kind of attracted to Giyu's silence, as he radiates an enigmatic aura that magnetises you more. So acting like his sister would be harder than expected.

But you had no choice.

Tomioka stayed silent, avoiding any conversations as much as possible. When asking about things, he would let you talk, and he'd just watch you from afar. That kind of pisses you off, as he doesn't act as brotherly as he should.

So, you just let his attitude slide for a few more instances. But then you were surprised when you saw another part of him when a drunk man tried to touch you inappropriately while you were about to ask the bartender about what's been happening to the town.

Giyu caught the man's arm and squeezed it tight, which made the man whimper. "Hey, don't touch my wife." He said that and pulled you away from the place. You can't help but blush at what he said. The shift from sister to wife in your pretending was quicker than you thought. Actually, you never thought the man could do that at all.

"Focus on the road, not on my face, Y/L/N-chan."

"Oh sorry."

But despite that, Giyu's hand on your waist couldn't help you focus at all. He pulled you nearer as he noticed this, perhaps trying to protect you. You blushed at the thought again, but no...

"I'll tell Kanroji-san that you're not focusing if you continue to turn red as a tomato out of nowhere."

So the Water Hashira notices your blush! You pulled away from him and cleared your throat. "It's part of Love Breathing." You lied, which made Giyu smile a bit. You were astounded by that, so you went near his face and poked his cheek. "Tomioka-san! I've got you to smile!"

He rolled his eyes and walked past you, pretending to ignore your antics, but inside, he felt a bit happy. And so you did.

--

The day passed without any information. Mitsuri contacted the both of you using her Kasugai crow, and she said that they might need to stay a bit longer.

So, you and Tomioka decided to check into an inn. And yes, you're both pretending to be married couples, so he only booked one room for the both of you.

The first couple of days were a bit awkward. But then you tried your best to just focus on the surveillance. But sometimes, you will catch Tomioka looking at you with no emotion. It would look creepy on other people, but on you, it makes you red.

So tonight, Giyu was just sitting inside your room, cleaning his sword, while you were in the other corner, enjoying your meal.

But still, the Water Hashira was the first one to break the silence.

"I'll be on a survey tonight. Want to come with me?"

"Sure Tomioka-san."

"Just make sure to not turn beet red once again. I'm not the demon, so you shouldn't stare at me too much."

What is the matter with this man? He acts detached, but he notices every single bit of your actions that made a flush of heat crawl up your cheeks. Like Mitsuri, you're easily flushed.

"And, you're red again."

"Why are you observing me? Do you have a crush on me?" You asked Tomioka, which definitely caught him off-guard. He placed his sword on the table and crossed his arms. "What if I do?"

His answer shocked you. He doesn't act like he likes you, but he does. You gulped and looked away. A small chuckle escaped from Giyu's lips, and he just opened the window, readying himself to start the surveillance.

You tried to stop him, but he cut you off.

"Hush little darling, we'll talk about this later. Okay?"

"Yes sir." You muttered, blushing madly as he called you darling. You'll definitely let Mitsuri know about this. You know that she would never get mad at you for feeling this way.

Then after that, Giyu disappeared, and you soon followed him to start the surveillance.

You'll definitely talk with him about that later.

=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖!

Thank you for checking this out my loves ^^

I'll make a few more fics and I hope you'll check em out~

Love yah! Requests are open so don't be shy!

~𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓾-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷🌸

#demon slayer x reader #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer imagines #rengoku x reader #giyuu tomioka #kimetsu no yaiba #giyu tomioka #rengoku kyojuro #kny kyojuro #kyojuro #kyojuro rengoku #kyojuro rengoku x reader #kyojuro x reader #kyojuro x y/n #tomioka giyu x reader #giyu x reader #giyu x sanemi #giyu x y/n #giyu x you #giyu headcanons #kyojuro headcanons

[aphroditesbaby1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC One-Shot

♡ O/S Inspo: Blue Lotus - In Vedic Hindu tradition, the lotus represents enlightenment as well as purity. It is the symbol of the consciousness rising out of the mud of Maya and attaining its original nature or self-realization. 

♡ Summary: Carmen accidentally almost checks out of life permanently due to a migraine fucking up his vision, and Sugar flips & sends him off to a trauma rehabilitation center, Syd is realizing she finds it extremely hard to stay away from him.

♡ W/C: 7,616

♡ Posted Date: 04/06/2024

♡ A/N: This is my first SydCarmy fic aaa!!! I have a hard time writing in 3rd unless its not my characters, so writing in 3rd for them was okay! This OS is all thanks to the LOML - the person who FULLY turned me into a #SydCarmy4Lifer - @gingergofastboatsmojito - This fic was HEAVILY - heavily, inspired by hers - Tucson, It can be found right ❀ here ❀ - My only request is you go read hers if you are going to read this one!! Her SydCarmy fics are the best, and the only ones I really read, give her a follow because her SydCarmy theories are also out of this world. Also, YES GINGER - Stardust is .... a horse - ol' girl TOLD THEM she'd always be watching!! If you'd like to meet Madame in her human form, mosey on over here - this fic also heavily inspired me to write for SydCarmy hahaha. If y'all want more of Blue Lotus let me know! I have ideas for a PT 2 if it would fancy anyone :)

♡ Warnings for BTC: Accidental OD , Vomit, Sad Syd, but fluffy kinda!! Only lightly edited (we die like men), OC Carmy (IM SORRY) we all know he's down bad for her so maybe this can be considered IC Carm, because were just in his head more then watching him? But that's all basically.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

Carmen was sick as a dog. Well - physically- the mental demons never stopped nagging at his overall happiness level, but it had been a long time since he’d felt this horrible, physically speaking, at least. 

His muscles were aching, to the point any brush on his skin left a dull pain in its wake. His throat was swollen and sore, he had a terrible fever- his head felt like it was so full of pressure that it would explode. 

He’d never experienced a headache like this before. His vision was actually spotty, there were little blotches in his vision, that were... glowing? He wasn’t quite sure, it was beyond the realm of anything he’d ever felt or seen before. 

That was what must have caused him to grab his black bottle of oxydose he’d gotten after a root canal he had a few months back- rather then his liquid Zyrtec cold and flu liquid medicine. 

The pain in his head was so bad, he didn’t even question why the usual cherry flavor had been replaced with bubblegum, as he swallows straight from the bottle, before putting the cap back on and going back to the couch, collapsing in the nest of pillows and blankets. 

It was only about 10 minutes, and Carmy was feeling fine- no…Carmen was feeling… amazing. 

His limbs all felt very heavy, but he felt warm, and comfortable. As comfortable as he’d ever felt. He actually found himself thinking ‘have I ever felt this good?!’ And before he knew it, he was laughing to himself about how he should double dose cold medicine more often, because he felt as if he was on cloud fucking nine. 

He laid back on the couch, closing his eyes, and wasn’t sure just how long he laid there that way. It could have been minutes, hours, days for all he knew. The only thing he was thinking of, was her. He began wondering what she was doing right now, if she was adorably leaned over the counter, writing in her little notebook- her braids cascaded over her face like a beautiful beaded curtain. 

If the blood in his arms hadn’t been replaced with cement, he’d have grabbed his phone and called her, and poured out his entire heart to her. Because nothing else in the world right now mattered. Carmen had no other thoughts, the past didn’t exist, nor did the future. The only thing that existed in this world at this very moment, was Sydney. 

‘Psssst’ 

Carmen opens his heavy lids, just barely, his vision was blurry and almost doubled. “Mmm?” He hums, not even sure if he heard someone- or why he would hear someone. He lived alone, and didn’t hear anyone come in. 

‘Yo. Dipshit.’ Carmen knew that voice anywhere. 

“What?” Carmy looked around, and knew something was very amiss, when his brother was standing there in his living room, looking at him. He had this ethereal glow to him. 

“What the fuck” Carmen said, sitting back on the couch, rubbing his eyes.  

‘You’re nodding out right now. Here’s what y’gonna do.’ 

Carmen couldn’t do anything but nod his head obediently, was Mikey really here? He couldn’t be- he was hallucinating. 

“Monkey are you here?” Carmen asks softly, rubbing his eyes again to see if he would disappear. He didn’t. 

‘I’m as here as you’ll be if Y’don’t listen. Crawl to the fucking bathroom and throw up. She’s gonna be here f’you, don’t fight her’ 

Before Carmy could look back at him and question what he meant - he was gone. 

Carmen suddenly felt…much too hot. He tried getting up, but narrowly missed bashing his skull on the coffee table trying to get to the bathroom, so he decided to take his wise older brother's advice and crawl there instead. 

He didn’t finish the journey, though. He actually collapsed in the bathroom a few feet in front of the toilet, luckily on his stomach. 

He was catching all sorts of luck today, because Syd had insisted she go and check on Carmy, as he was supposed to be at work today but hadn’t said a word- and that was nothing like him. 

She got the extra key from Nat, and told her she would go check because ‘Pregnant women have by nature weaker immune systems’ and would blame herself if she ‘let Carmen get her sick’, so she convinced Sugar to let her go by herself. 

When Sydney had opened the door, the first thing that greeted her was loads of empty Gatorade bottles on the coffee table near the couch, and a random French cooking show playing on the tv. 

“Carm?” She calls, but when she saw one of his feet sticking out from the bathroom, she dropped her bag and ran, gasping when she saw him splayed out there in a puddle of vomit, looking sickly pale, with dark blue lips and fingertips. 

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF!” She shrieked, getting him on his side as fast as she could and quickly pushing the emergency button on her phone, putting the call on speaker and setting it to the bathroom counter. 

“Carmen? CARMEN! Wake up!” She slapped his arm, shaking him violently. “Carmen! Oh- oh god.” She said nervously. 

‘911 do you need fire, medical, or police?’ The woman at the other end says. 

“Medical! Medical my friend- oh god Carmen” she shakes his shoulders. 

“Okay what’s your emergency?” The operator asks 

“Uhh- I- he’s- so he’s thrown up, he’s passed out, his pulse is weak- he- his lips- t-they’re blue. oh Carmy” she touches his cold clammy forehead. “He- he’s- he’s cold oh my god why is he COLD can you fucking send someone Jesus Christ!” Sydney snaps angrily. 

“Okay- it sounds like he is having an opioid crisis ma’am, do you have narcan available?” The operator asked her and Syds heart drops. 

“No- what? No! He- he wouldn’t- his brother- he…get here!” She said frantically and quickly told her the address of Carmen’s apartment complex.

“Yes, yes you’re calling on an Iphone, ma’am - we have your exact coordinates. Just in case - do not try to make him throw up more, make sure his airway is clear- what is your name?” The woman asked her. 

“Sydney- my name is fucking Sydney - but it doesn’t matter! He matters! My god! His name is Carmen- C-Carmen fucking Berzatto! Put that in your notes lady! He- he’s 31- where the fuck is the ambulance?!” She uses all of her strength to get him leaned up against the counter. 

His vomit was getting everywhere, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t find a way to care, the only thing that mattered to her was that each breath Carmy was taking looked more and more difficult. 

“They are en route! Remain calm, how long have you known this friend?” The Operator tried to distract Sydney, since there was only so much you could do for an OD patient if there was no narcan. 

“He- he’s my…my partner we run a restaurant together. This doesn’t matter! Save him. Please! I can’t loose him!” She said, shaking his shoulders. 

“Carmen! You fucking asshole! What did you do!!!” She shouts at him. “You would never do this! What did you do!!!” She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, it didn’t matter though- Carmen wasn’t awake to see it. 

No, Carmen was far, far away. Somewhere floating between life and death, he felt like he was being embraced in the warmest most comforting hug he’d ever felt, he’d never been more comfortable in his life. 

But Syd, was in hell. Her own personal version of it. It felt like a lifetime before 2 paramedics came barreling into the bathroom, one of them holds Carmys head steady and the other sprays a full dosage of narcan in his nose. 

Sydney stood in the corner near the shower, shaking hands cupping her face absolutely terrified. 

Carmen was up now, nearly the second the paramedic hit the plunger release. He sits up with a gasp, eyes wide like a caged animal. 

“What the fuck.” He mumbles, looking at both of them before meeting eyes with Syd. 

“Syd?” He blinks a few times. 

She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding “you asshole” she grumbles, wiping her teary eyes. 

“You’re home, you’re safe, you overdosed. Do you take opioids often?” The paramedic asked, putting a blood pressure cuff around Carmen’s arm. 

“What? No- what the fuck don’t touch me!” Carmen snaps, ripping off the cuff and whipping it across the bathroom “stop- stop! Stop touching me- get away” he shouted angrily “I’m fine” he hissed. 

“CARMEN!” Sydney barks, she’d never used that tone with him- so it was fair to say it very quickly got his attention. 

“You will let them do their job, dick. I just- I- I find you in a puddle of your own vomit on the bathroom floor- I couldn’t wake you up! So now? you’re gonna listen to them.” She said angrily, grabbing the blood pressure cuff from next to her leg where it fell and handing it back to the paramedic.

“Give him your arm.” She snipped. 

Carmen sits back against the bathroom wall like a dog being scolded, wordlessly offering his arm to the paramedic and keeping his gaze fixed on his lap. 

“192 over 96” the paramedic told the other. 

“Christ kid” the paramedic said, “gave you a fuckin dose of narcan and y’wired like y’re on coke” they helped him up and on the gurney. 

“Hes- he’s gonna be okay?” Sydney asked anxiously, watching as they buckled him in by his hips and legs. 

“He's gonna be fine in a day or so.” One of them responded. Carmen just looked away, the shame and embarrassment already looming over his mind like a huge storm cloud. 

“I’m gonna…I’ll- I’ll clean up, and meet you at the hospital, ok? And I’ll have sugar meet you” she told Carmen and went over, giving him a hug. 

He couldn’t understand. It made him slightly angry how sweet she was being to him. He was putting her out, he was fully fucking up her whole day- but all she was worried about was him. 

“Syd..I’m fine. Thanks. But I’m fine. Don't- just…ugh no- please- I’ll do it. Just go- go home. take the day” He said, gently patting her back. 

He wanted to throw his arms around her and never let go, he wanted to kiss her- he wanted to hold her and tell her he would never leave her again. He wanted to tell her he loved her. 

But he didn’t. He wouldn’t, and he wasn’t sure if he ever would, or could for that matter, since he didn’t even realize yet that was what the feeling in his heart really meant. 

“Thank god. Thank god you’re fine, Carm. What would I do without the biggest pain in my ass?” She teased. 

Even though Carmen was hurting all over in a way he didn’t realize was possible, his lungs were aching, as was his entire body, and he felt as if the pressure behind his eyes were going to make them pop out - he smiled. It was slight, of course. But it was there. 

“Couldn’t get rid’a’me if y’tried, Syd.” he told her. 

The ride to the hospital was Carmen’s nightmare. They insisted on the stupid flashing lights and sirens, since his blood pressure was ‘dangerously high’ so he was at risk for a heart attack, and then rolling him out on a stretcher in front of all his neighbors was nothing short of a god damn dumpster fire. 

He was never home, but like hell he’d ever intentionally show his face during the day again. 

The hospital was even worse, he got plugged in to all these monitors and had an oxygen mask, got poked and prodded with needles, and was told he was being put on a 24 hour psych hold per hospital policy after an overdose- just in case he’d been trying to end his own life. 

Sugar got there shortly after the nurses had finally let him be, when he heard her loudly telling them “CARMEN! BERZATTO! Like bear! B-e-r-z-a-t-t-o!!! Where IS HE !” He ripped off the oxygen mask, knowing if she saw him that way he’d never live it down. 

Even though it really was helping ease the ache in his lungs and the pain in his head, he was willing to deal with it for his very pregnant sister not to worry. 

Her heels click as she storms down the hall to his room, ripping the curtain back. 

“Oh- Bear” she said, bursting into tears and rushing up to him, hugging him tightly. “Oh my god, bear. Never do that! What did you do? No- no- you aren’t in trouble, you aren’t in trouble, Carmen. I love you. You just worried me! You made Sydney cry Carmy! What the fuck- what happened?” She cupped his cheeks, observing his exhausted face. 

“Oh you’re sick- you’re so sick- Carmy” she felt his forehead and cheeks with the back of her hand like she did when they were kids. “It was an accident, right, right Bear? You wouldn’t do this?” She said, more pleading him than asking.  

“No. No. No sug, no- I- I’d never. I just fucked up! I’m fine. I’m fine. C’mere” he hugs her close, kissing her head gently. “Stress isn’t good for the baby bear” he joked, hoping it would get her to lighten up. 

“Carmy stop” she pushed away, looking at him seriously. “No. No. This isn’t okay- nothing - nothing about this is okay, bear! You almost died! Syd said- “ she shook her head. “Carmy. I- we can’t do this. We can’t. You’re right.” She sniffled, sitting back in the chair next to his hospital bed and wiping her tears. 

“What- what do you mean?” He sat up a bit. 

“I- if you….i can’t watch you like this anymore, Carmy. I can’t- I can’t see you wither away. Fucking emotionally anymore. It’s killing me. It’s hurting-“ she took a shaking breath. 

“It’s hurting your niece. Carmen. I can’t do it anymore. here.” She dug around her purse, pulling out a brochure. 

“Go- go. Get out of fucking Chicago, Carm. This place- I-i heard of it” she sniffled “its stupid-“ she laughed a bit, shaking her head. “So stupid, fuckin this..this Astrologer. She said in her podcast that this is the best place to go based on the location? I dunno…it’s a therapy place” she said. 

Carmen looked at the Brochure, his brows raising. 

‘Blue Lotus Trauma Therapy Rehabilitation Center’ the front contained photos of absolutely breathtaking pine trees, mountains, as well as red cabins. 

‘Blue Lotus is tucked safely away on Big Bear Lake in Big Bear, CA. Come and experience an inpatient by day, outpatient by night 30 day program, along with 15 days of sole inpatient TF-CBT therapy, focused on your direct needs as a patient. We specialize here at Big Bear in Equestrian Therapy, and Cattle Therapy. Enjoy hiking on hundreds of miles of breathtaking trails, and get to know the stunning haven that is Big Bear, California.’ 

“Horses.” Carmen looks at her, unwavered. 

“Yes! They say they like- get us or something? You’ll be back before I give birth. Go. Carmen. Go. Or- or I can’t work there, anymore it-“ she shakes her head, looking down at her swollen belly as hot thick tears stream down her cheeks. “It’s like watching Michael…again. In a different way” she said quietly, wiping her face and looking up at him once again. “Please.” She whispered. 

He shook his head, setting the stupid brochure down on the bedside table and laying back in the bed, grabbing the oxygen since his head was beginning to pound again and putting it back over his face, averting her worried gaze. 

“I don’t have the energy to call these people” he muttered, closing his eyes and resting his head back, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. 

“I- I already got you a bed. I called them…on the way over- I begged them. And they are willing to take you, Carmy. Please. I’ll pick your cabin and everything - you- you stay in a cabin after the 15 days and then for 30 you go back and forth. It sounds so nice, bear. I know they’re gonna take such good care of you think about it- please- will you go?” she got up, pulling him into a hug. 

“Thank you” she whispered after a few moments when he didn’t decline her. 

Carmen didn’t reply. If Sugar really thought that stupid place would make him ‘change’ (if that was even possible) and if she really felt as if it was affecting her child that was growing inside of her- he would give it a try. Even though he felt as if it would be just another money pit in the name of ‘mental health’ that didn’t do a thing. 

“There’s dead man walkin’!” Richie said, Syd following in behind him. 

“Stop! Don’t call him that Richie it was scary!” Syd shoves his shoulder. 

Carmen grabbed the brochure, quickly tucking it under the blanket. 

“Fuck you, cousin” Carmy said, his voice all nasally and low from his flu or whatever the fuck he’d picked up, that had led him to giving himself a cocktail of meds that almost sent him to Michael prematurely by total mistake. 

“Carmen is leaving. As soon as he’s released. So- get your time in he won’t be home for a month or two” Sugar said and sat down, not budging on the issue. 

Carm just rolled his eyes, laying his head back and wanting to melt into a puddle on the floor, but at the same time, he also wanted to pull Syd into the stupidly small hospital bed, and hold her to him, never letting her go. 

“You are?” Syd asked, coming to his bedside and meeting his gaze. 

He just stared at her. Wordlessly, he pulled out the crumpled brochure and offered it to her. She took it, looking at it. Richie comes over as well, peeking over Syd’s shoulder to read. 

“Equestrian therapy? Gonna go play with some horsies Carm?” He teased, his smugness being wiped off his face when Syd stomps on his foot with most of her weight, causing him to whine in pain. 

“Woops! Maybe you should learn some personal fucking space asshole” she shoved back in to him so he would take a few steps back. 

“Ow!” He said dramatically, plopping next to Sugar who was also glaring at him with equal fire. 

“Okay- okay- sorry fuckin hell. The kid is fine” he said and Carmen motions to him. 

“See! See! Jagoff is right sometimes” he said to Syd and she shook her head. 

“This…is good. This is really good. I’m for this.” She said, looking at Sugar before handing the brochure back to him. “I’m… gonna miss you, but…you need to get the fuck out. Like really, out, Carm.” She told him. 

He sighed deeply, resting his head back and closing his eyes once more. 

Whatever will make Syd happy, he would do, no matter the amount of discomfort it brought him. 

“Fine.” He mumbled.  

“Really?” Sugar asked him and he looked over at her, brows slightly furrowed. 

“Want me to fuckin fight you about it?” He snipped, already annoyed with how easy he was giving in- but he was too exhausted to fight, and Syds lavender perfume was so comforting, and so familiar. He just wanted everyone except Syd to leave, and to be able to hold her. 

That wasn’t going to happen though, probably ever was what he’d told himself. No, that would be too good, the universe would be much too kind to Carmy as to let him have the ultimate pleasure and enjoyment that would come from being with her in that way. 

“No…no. I’m sorry. Thank you, Bear. I know this is gonna be good”  Sugar said quietly. 

The doctor came in, saving Carmen from the uncomfortable conversation. “Hello again, Mr.Berzatto. I have your results here- is this okay company? If not I can have them step out for a moment” she’d said. 

Carmen had already completely forgotten her name, her name to him was simple - not Claire. Which was the only good thing to happen to him today. 

“As long as I’m not dying cause these two will pitch a fit. You can go ahead” he said, sitting up slightly in the bed. 

“No, no. you are very healthy, well- for the most part. Does your family have a history of high blood pressure?” She asked, sitting in the rolling chair next to the bed and holding her tablet in her lap. 

“Dad. Dad did, bear.” Sugar said. 

“Oh! Lovely- and did dad also have chronic treatment resistant depression?” The doctor turns to her. 

“I- I don’t know but…I know he was depressed for sure.” Sugar replied honestly. 

“And I know per your file you’re a smoker, heavy or moderate?” The doctor asked 

“Heavy” Syd buts in and Carmen didn’t even have the energy to fight either of the women. 

“So heavy is a pack plus a day does that sound average?” The doctor asked Carmy and he nods a bit. 

“Sometimes…sometimes two. Depending on uh…how shit is” he cleared his throat. 

“Yeah, so we’re gonna need to reduce as much as we possibly can. And we’re also going to speak about treatment options. Have you ever done mental therapy?” She asked Carmen. 

“He’s getting help. Don’t worry” Sugar said, “he’s going to do a therapy program. Blue lotus? Heard of it?” She asked. 

The doctor nods with a slight smile. “That would be wonderful for you, by the looks of your chart.” She got up. 

“Visiting hours are over at 10 pm, he will need to remain here until at least 1 pm tomorrow afternoon- then he’s yours.” She headed towards the door, shutting the privacy curtain behind her before closing the door. 

Richie chuckled “hack job name” he muttered, rubbing his face tiredly. 

“What was her name?” Sugar looked over at him. 

“Doctor Ginseng?” He said, “isn’t that a- a fuckin-“ 

“A root. A very expensive, luxurious root. It can be put into tea, or soup…the native people of China believe it has properties that make your body better deal with stress” Syd said absentmindedly, staring at the clock while nervously twirling the end of one of her braids. 

“She got it” Carm said and the corners of his lips tugged into a smile, just a bit. He absolutely adored the way if Syd wasn’t beating him to the punch when someone asked a random food question- that she was teaching him something. 

Even after years in the kitchen, the hundreds of hours watching cooking shows, Sydney still managed to teach him. He was utterly amazed by her every single day. 

“That’s a good idea. I- I think we have some. Back at the restaurant. All the stuff here will be shit- I’m gonna make you tea. And soup.” she got up, grabbing her bag. “Don’t fucking die when I’m gone, Kay? Guess you need that reminder now” she told him. 

He rolled his eyes slightly “Y’don’t have t’fuckin make me tea Syd. I’m fine.” He said, but something deep inside him yearned for Syd to take care of him. He craved it. 

“I’m making the tea, and you’re drinking the tea. Be back soon” she said before heading out.

Sydney had stuffed Carm full of pastina chicken soup and warm ginseng tea with lemon, ginger root, and plenty of local honey. As well as sourdough bread that Marcus had made fresh that morning. 

They sat and talked, just the two of them for hours until visiting hours were over. The nurse had to actually warn them both that she’d told them 4 times already it was past visiting hours and she ‘wasn’t afraid to have people removed’ before Sydney finally hugged Carmy goodbye and left. 

They both took his leaving for 45 days extremely serious. They’d joked together about just how quickly and casually Sugar had whipped out the information, all put together so neatly - it was quite obvious she’d been waiting for an opportunity to ship Carmen off here. 

They laughed a bit, and shared stories, and of course Carm answered any and every question Syd had about running the restaurant on her own while he was going to be away. 

Syd had even pulled a chair up to the bed at one point, resting her legs across the mattress after taking her shoes off, and her legs were draped across his own. He didn’t dare say anything, though. He was relishing in the feeling of closeness with her, even if it was as close as they’d ever be.  

Syd had actually made him so excited that the nurse had come in when she first came back and Carmy realized they’d be alone, to realize he was perfectly fine- his heart had just settled at a new pace since she was around. 

He was feeling worlds better by the time he’d gotten to the airport on Sunday morning. He’d spent the rest of Saturday evening at Sugars after he’d been discharged from the hospital, and had one last close family meal with Syd, Richie, Nat, and Pete, well, Pete was a must - he couldn’t uninvite the man from his own house, unfortunately. 

Carmen would be in a hotel in Big Bear, California by nightfall, and by the following morning he’d be starting his 15 day inpatient stint at ‘Blue Lotus Trauma Therapy Rehabilitation Center’ tucked away on a farm, in a dip of Big Bear Lake. How fitting. 

The parking lot of the airport was full of tears, not from Carmy- of course, but a very tearful Sugar, who’d conveniently spent the rest of his hospital stay packing him 2 weeks of clothes to cycle through, explaining phones were allowed- but they gave the toiletries, since it was a mental health center after all. 

She kept hugging him, kissing his cheeks- as if she was sending him to war and not a fucking treatment center. “Is there…somethin’ I’m missing- am I never coming back er somethin are you selling me to some weird chef collector?” Carmen teased, getting at least a small giggle from her. 

“God no. I just… this will work Carmy. It has to work. You’ll get better, okay? It’ll all be fine.” She wiped her face. He nodded a bit. 

“It’ll work.” He said, he wasn’t sure if he believed it- but if it got her to stop feeling so sad, he would agree. 

“I love you, be safe ok?” She said for the millionth time “and remember look at your phone I sent you-“ 

“The flight number, Nat. I love you. Thank you again” he kissed her cheek, grabbing his suitcase and opening his texts, clicking his flight number she sent him. 

“Gate D11! Thank you Nat. Gotta go now- unless…” he teased. 

She smiled a bit, finally. “Get out of Chicago.” She pat his arm gently and got back in the car to a waiting Pete. 

The flight was okay, it felt much longer than he was expecting, but his anxiety told him a lot of things- he couldn’t trust minute things such as time and how he understands it anymore. The first thing he noticed upon landing was the stunning green, and the crisp air. 

The air felt…cleaner, then Chicago. It was chilly- since fall was quickly approaching. Carmen was suddenly grateful Nat had him put on a hoodie before leaving this afternoon. He had the entire evening to explore, and not be himself. 

He already was feeling some kind of new. He wasn’t here to work, definitely not to play, but he could enjoy himself, because he didn’t have to be him. At least not for the night. He opened the Uber app on his phone, booking a trip to the hotel to check in.  

When he’d gotten to the hotel and showered, dressing in some vintage Levi’s and a white long sleeve in trade for his short sleeve, along with his favorite plaid jacket. He had to get somewhere to see how people live here, how to be apart here, so he didn’t stick out like a sore thumb at this rehab place. 

He’d grabbed his backpack, slinging it over his shoulders and opened Apple Maps on his phone, looking for a park to go sit at and just be. He found a park close by, simply called ‘BearHill Park’ and following the walking directions. 

He’d missed his ventures to various parks in New York, but especially in Copenhagen. Copenhagen had the most beautiful sunsets Carmen had ever seen before. He missed it sometimes, not the work, but the life. It felt worlds more simple then his life now, where every relationship, every aspect of his job- was dripping with difficulty to manage it all. 

When he got to the park, he’d found an oak tree that looked well over 200 years old, getting situated under it and resting against the trunk, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.  

He watched a couple and a baby walking by, carefully though as he’d learned quickly as a child most people don’t take kindly to being looked at for more then a few moments at a time. But Carmen didn’t watch people in an odd way, of course. He was just wanting to observe, see how he should be. And in a place so new, so out of his ordinary all by himself, it was gonna take a lot of observing to get himself readjusted. 

He watched as the father pushed the carriage along, the mother holding his hand happily. They were far away so he couldn’t hear what they were speaking about, but it must be funny because their heads were tilted back in laughter multiple points throughout the conversation as they continued on. 

He continued on his cigarette, his eyes now finding a younger couple. He sat up a bit, leaning further against the tree to get a better look. From behind, the woman reminded him a lot of Syd, of course it wasn’t- but it was also the way her boyfriend or- husband- Carmen wasn’t emotionally advanced enough to look for a ring, he’d never needed to before.

It was how his arms were covered in tattoos, and his hair was a muss of dirty blonde curls like his. It was how the woman was beautifully tall, with stunning long black braids, and a floral scarf tied around the top of her head. She was much more…boisterous then Syd, but none the less. They looked like them in another world.  

So not only, has this other man, found his Syd, the universe was determined to rub Carmen’s nose in it, or that’s how he took it, anyhow. 

He scoffed a bit, rolling his eyes and looking the other way. Of course. He thought. Everyone can be happy but me. I’m headed to adult crazy camp! And those two are just, fuckin happy and in love. 

The girl laughed loudly, causing Carmen to look back over. “CAMREN!” She squeaked as he tickled her. “Cam! Stop- I-I can’t breathe!! You asshole” she punched his shoulder playfully. 

“Do you give up?! Say it!!!” The man countered, continuing the assault on her sides. 

“No- NO! This- this is cheating!” She said, interrupted by her own laughs. 

“Cheating?! No, I'm getting what’s rightfully mine Scarlett!” He pinned her arms above her head. 

Carmen now looked away. He couldn’t help but think of Syd while watching them, and think of everything he was too pussy to pull off. He wished he could take Syd somewhere like this, but who would run the restaurant, and why would she say yes. 

He’d finished his cigarette by the time the couple had left and he took out his sketchbook and the pen that lived inside of it. He looked at the recipe on his phone Syd had sent ‘Farro Mafaldine with browned Black Truffle Butter and Chanterelles mushrooms’ 

He had tried it for her, and he actually told her he wanted another bite to be sure he was ‘getting everything’ when really- it was just so fantastic he couldn’t stop at one single bite. 

“Syd that is…wow. Really, really fuckin fire. If it weren’t for the mushroom, we’d need that on the permanent menu. Have you tried others?” He’d asked. 

Syd just smiled and nodded, a lot of times she was around Carmen- she thanked god for her darker complexion, considering he made her feel overly hot, all the time. Nearly every time he spoke to her, and she wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t always this way. But ever since they opened the restaurant together- things had changed between them. Not for better, not for worse, the energy just… shifted. 

Carmen got lost in thought of Syd, and before he could realize what he was doing- he was drawing her. He rested his elbow on his knee, crouched over as he added details to each intricate little braid. It was one of Carmen’s favorite things about Sydney. 

No matter how she wore her hair, she looked absolutely beautiful. The braids, he did have to admit, were his favorite. Maybe it was because it was how her hair was when they met, but they interested him. He wanted to sit and watch her doing them. She told him a while back, she did them herself. 

Apparently, her mother wasn’t able to teach her- but she had cousins that could. She says it was usually much more expensive to have it done then just do it yourself, that part made sense to him. He was really impressed the first time he told her, she laughed a bit at that.  

‘Most of us do our own hair, I mean- unless you got it like that. But otherwise, just like the white girls we have to do it on our own’ Carmen blushed, feeling silly for not realizing. 

‘Yeah- yeah I..I get that but. I dunno…I’ve seen Sug do her hair…it seems easier” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. 

‘Oh, well yeah, that’s why I only do mine every 6 weeks!’ She’d said, wiping down the counter. 

‘Really? Well that’s cool. I thought you like…I dunno.’ He chuckled a bit. 

‘That I went home, took out 200 plus braids, and then put them all back in before I come in every day?’ She teased. 

Now Carmen’s cheeks were bright red. ‘Okay- listen I’m not a girl. I wouldn’t know’ 

Carmen caught himself smiling at the memory. He looked up at the setting sky, and his heart fluttered a bit at the beauty of it. He’d realized he’d sat there now for probably 5 hours, his back was aching, but he didn’t care. 

He didn’t care because this was the most at peace he’d felt since moving back to the states. And he was alone. He snapped a photo of the gorgeous sunset with his phone, hitting the send button and hovering over Syds name for a moment, before deciding to click it. 

She did tell him to text her when she got settled in after all. 

In CA - this place lives up to the name. Never seen so many bear statues in my life. 

He sends the text, with the photo attached, not even realizing the photo had been a live capture, and you could fully see the drawing of Syd for half a second if you held the photo down. 

He put his phone back in his pocket, continuing on his drawing. Back in Chicago, Syd was very glad that she was working today- because the only thing on her mind otherwise was one single person. 

“Okay guys! I need some hands here- we got 3 dishes for table 13 let’s move! Keep up the pace!” She called out. She had already been here 12 hours, and wasn’t planning on being out for another 6. 

It was just how Sydney operated - she couldn’t sit and worry about Carmen. It would just unearth emotions she didn’t want to go searching for, and once they came up she was worried it would ruin absolutely everything she’d worked so hard to maintain. 

And back across the country, 2,000 miles away, Carmen was contently packing his backpack, getting up, and heading to a small diner he’d seen. He enjoyed a quiet burger to himself, in the corner booth, looking out the window at the water. 

The place truly was beautiful, and very hidden away. There were barely any cars here, it was fully the opposite of anywhere he’d stayed long term, and he was beginning to feel as if he needed that, he wouldn’t admit that to sugar, though. 

He’d gone back to his hotel, taken a shower, gotten in his pajamas, and was laid in bed, watching some random cooking show on the food network since the TV unfortunately didn’t have YouTube like his did. 

When Sydney had seen the photo, she almost didn’t realize it was live at first. She was also at home, finally in bed- but she was 2 hours ahead of Carmen- so instead of it being 11 pm- it was 1 am. She’d scrubbed the restaurant floor until she was sure someone could eat off it, and made sure every station was in perfect condition before returning home.  

She laid in bed with sore hands, a sore back, and sore knees, and sore- well, everything. When she finally had checked her phone and seen it. She smiled a bit at the comment about the bear statues, clicking the photo open to see more. 

It was a breathtaking sunset for sure. She went to close the photo, her thumb lingering because she saw a speck of white in the corner- and the photo started moving. For just a short moment she sees…. Herself? On the page of Carmen’s sketchbook.

She could feel her heart thumping in her throat. Why would he be drawing her? Unless- no! Keep the emotions buried! He is sick. He is so depressed- treatment resistant depression the doctor had said his chart showed. 

She swallowed thickly, not sure what to say back. Should she just ignore it? Should she mention it boldly? Should she just…forget about it and convince herself it didn’t happen? 

She typed and retyped the message multiple times, smiling to herself a bit as she jokingly typed out ‘pretty sunset, even prettier drawing.’ Before deleting it and retyping before hitting send;

fire sunset. so I take it big bear is treating the bear well so far?

Carmen looked at the message right away, smiling to himself a bit. She’d never called him bear before, something about it made his heart begin to race. 

According to Nat, bear+big bear = depression gone, I’ll let you know in a few days if that's the truth.

He wasn’t sure about the whole equestrian therapy thing still, but he did know that being here seemed to allow him to breathe a little easier- and he was already here, so he would try.

The first 5 days in the inpatient program were…quite the adjustment. That was because it was what he learned was the most intensive part of the treatment, and meant to break down your walls by setting you in a hard routine so you had no choice but to think about your shit. 

This included a wake-up time of 6 am, the lights in his inpatient room literally turned on, then at 7:30 was breakfast, then- at 8 am they had 1 hour of either equestrian class, which you learned how to begin caring for the horses, or an hour of tending to the cows - Carmen chose the Horses because he was not going to shovel cow shit. 

Then, you had a therapy class of your choice from 9-11:30, he chose art therapy. It didn’t feel like therapy to him, they got to draw, or paint. Carmen just sat by the window, drawing different recipes - or, more often than not, drawing Syd from memory. 

12:00 was lunch, 12:30-2:00 you had mandatory either equestrian therapy, or cattle therapy. Carmen was more drawn towards the cattle on hard days, and the horses on easier ones. This was because the hour of 3-4 was mandatory group therapy. That usually emotionally drained him until at least art therapy the following day, since to progress and complete the program- you need ‘participation points’ in your 15 day inpatient stay, before you’re trusted to be on your almost fully on your own for a whole 30 days. 

The horses were usually nervous around new people, so it was a challange to get them to trust him. While the cows, people in the group joked- were ‘giant grass puppies’ the therapy consisted of literally just laying with the lazy cows and cuddling them, and feeding them snacks, which they very much enjoyed, and Carmen found to be very soothing once he learned to douse himself in bug spray before heading in the pen so the flys would be out of his way.

Then, dinner was at 5, and afterwards you had the evening to yourself in your room, or you could walk the trails until they closed at sunset. In your room you could watch tv, read, and the residents were also allowed to have their cellphones.  

It was quite exhausting the first 5 days, but the second 5 he was getting into a groove at Blue Lotus. He was beginning to enjoy the hard manual work that came with working with the animals, and the time it took to build their trust. There was one particular horse Carmen had become fond of, a white horse named Stardust. Perfect name for her. 

When he looked in her eyes she felt more human then most people he met in real life. She was different then the other horses. He’d been told that she rarely took to men, and that he was the only male she’d never need startled by. He always took extra time brushing her mane, and they both seemed to appreciate eachothers silence. 

Carmen heard other people in stalls next to him, they would talk to the horses- dump their issues they were too afraid to tell their therapists out on them. He wondered if the horses ever got annoyed, he probably would if he was a horse. He smiled a bit at the thought, and it was almost as if Stardust could tell what he was thinking, because she turned her head and looked at him before snorting almost in agreement and sticking her head back out of the stall. 

Getting into outpatient life at lotus though, was as easy as falling into bed for Carmen. His inpatient stay, he made sure to take the time in the evenings to learn his favorite quiet trails, the ones less taken usually, so when he graduated to outpatient - he could take stardust for rides on his own.

 It took them about 3 days to get to know each other in that regard, it was mostly Carmen’s fault though he realized, because when he’d get nervous he’d pull on her reigns in such a way that she thought he meant for her to go faster - when it was the opposite. But, Stardust was so, so patient with Carmen. 

He made sure to sneak her extra apples with a small drizzle of honey in return, so she knew her patience with him always came with great reward. 

Carmen had been gone for about a month now, he and Syd would text intermittently, sugar was sure to call once a week and they’d talk for about an hour. But it was mostly quiet from Carmen’s end, he had told them it was because he was usually out, all day long unless he was at therapy. 

It was day 19 of the outpatient part of the program, so he had just 11 days left. He had just finished his morning art therapy, and was in the stables tending to stardust, feeding her slices of pumpkin they’d had in the snack bucket for the horses today. “Come onnn- the tongue, really star” he wipes his wet hand on his jeans and she nudged his shoulder with his nose, asking for more. 

“You are greedy! I’m always the first one in here y’gotta leave some for the rest of these guys!” He grabbed another piece of pumpkin, feeding it to her. 

“And this is our horse stable, he spends a lot of time out here” Carmen heard one of the employees likely giving someone a tour, only half listening. 

Stardust snorts at him, nudging his chest and he rubs her neck gently. “What is it? Y’done? Pumpkin not good enough for ya? No honey apples until after our ride or Y’don’t listen missy” he pats her head gently. 

“I didn’t take you for a horse guy but I guess drop anyone off in the middle of nowhere and you’d be surprised. 34 days and you went full fuckin’ cowboy on me- are those boots, Carm? ” An all too familiar voice said from the large open sliding door of the stable He looked at stardust for a moment, he must be dreaming, or ODing again. Maybe he died, and had been dead the entire time. Because there was no way he could believe Sydney Adamu was standing behind him, 2000 miles away from their shared city, in Big Bear, California.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

#carmen berzatto #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #the bear fic #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear #carmy berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen x sydney #sydcarmy for life #syd x carmen #sydcarmy #carmy x sydney #sydxcarmy fanfiction #sydcarmy fanfiction #sydcarmy fanfic #sydcarmy fic #sydney adamu #sydney x carmy #sydney adamu fanfic #sydney adamu fanfiction #borders & banners by saradika #syd x carmy

[katyswrites]

ur robin smut was amazing 🫶🏼 could u do 13, 98 or 142 with her from the “150 random prompts” list? whichever one you feel more inclined to do works for me! or do all of them i wouldn’t complain 🫣 hahaha

Hi, anon! Sure thing! I was originally going to write a blurb, but this ended up being a whole oneshot, so I hope you enjoy!

Prompt 13: “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

Prompt 142.: “Could he make you feel as good as I do?”

I Don't Want You Like a Best Friend

Pairing: Robin Buckley/afab!reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+), vaginal fingering (reader receiving), fluff, friends-to-lovers, reader has a bit of a sexuality crisis

Smut below the cut!

It had started simply, really. You were reeling from your fresh breakup, your boyfriend of a year doing it via phone call. He had decided that the girls at college were better, more interesting to him, and that he didn’t have time for his girlfriend stuck back in Hawkins for her senior year. Well, he hadn’t exactly put it that way, but… you weren’t stupid.

It’s been two weeks since then. You had gone through a range of emotion - devastating sadness, frustration, regret and blinding anger. The pain is less raw now, and you’re pissed, more than anything. Still, it’s a welcome surprise when Robin calls you up and invites you over for a movie night - somehow, she always knows exactly what you need.

Robin’s parents aren’t home, and she’s brandishing a tape of Labyrinth, freshly-arrived at Family Video. It’s sold-out nearly everywhere, but she had set it aside for you.

“Perks of the job,” she says, popping it in the VHS player and passing you the bowl of stovetop popcorn.

You sit for a while and just watch the movie, making jokes and commentary throughout. Robin doesn’t bring up the breakup - you both know that it’s why she’s invited you over, to take your mind off of it. 

“God,” you groan. “How much do you think they paid Bowie to dance with puppets like this?”

Robin laughs, the kind of laugh that has her snorting and gasping a little. It’s not even that funny, but she’s acting like she’s just heard the best joke in the world. You look over at her, the way her eyes crinkle and her face turns red, warming the freckles that dot her skin. And, for a moment, your heart aches with how bad you want to reach over and brush her hair out of her eyes, and hold her face in your hands.

You shake the feeling quickly, and push it down. You’re vulnerable, and reeling, and Robin’s your best friend… you can’t cross that line, not now. Besides, she likes Vickie, and you know that.

You turn your attention back to the TV, and focus intensely on the movie, taking in David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly as they ballroom dance. Soon, though, the credits are rolling, and Robin’s gotten up to rewind the tape. 

“So,” she says, flopping back down on the couch next to you, “What now? Wanna watch something else? Or, we can break into my mom’s liquor cabinet, if you’re feeling frisky.”

You grin. “Hm - I like that second option.”

*****

Soon, you’re splitting a bottle of vodka, mixed with some fruit punch Robin unearthed from the back of the fridge, and you’re feeling warm and light. Robin’s turned on the radio, Madonna’s voice floating through the crackly speakers as you melt into the couch. For a moment, it’s easy to forget about everything, and to just be here, with her. After a while, you feel Robin’s gaze on you, and you flop your head over to look at her. Her face is soft, and sympathetic, and you sigh.

“What is it, Robs?”

“Nothing! Just - you’re doing okay, right?”

You take a deep breath, and stare up at the ceiling. 

“I mean - I guess. I’m definitely doing better, at least, better than a couple weeks ago. I’m just pissed. I mean, I wasted so much time with him.”

“Yeah,” Robin says, scooting a bit closer. “I mean, I always thought you were way to good for him. I never really liked that guy.”

You look over at her, furrowing your brow.

“Wait, actually? And you never said anything?”

Robin sighs, pressing her palm to her forehead.

“Well - yeah! I mean, you really seemed into him, so - what was I supposed to do? I mean, would you tell me if I was dating a girl you didn’t particularly like?”

You sigh, and cross your arms. “No, probably not. I mean, not if you seemed to really like her.”

Then, you raise your eyebrows suggestively, and look over at her.

“Speaking of girls you like - anything going on with Vickie?”

Robin’s face falters a bit, and she shakes her head. 

“Um - no, not really. I mean, we chat at band practice, and stuff, but… I don’t know.”

You furrow your brow, confused. “You don’t know what?”

Robin shifts, tucking her legs underneath her on the couch and fully facing you.

“I mean - Vickie’s cool. And, I like her. But, not as much as I thought I did. I mean… I think I maybe like someone else, and that’s the real stuff.”

Your stomach lurches, and you shove it down - you’re not the jealous type, you can’t be. So instead, you force a smile, and lean casually against the back of the couch.

“Oh, yeah? Who?”

Robin looks at you for a moment, something unreadable passing her features. Then, she scooches a bit closer to you, enough that you can count her constellations of freckles, her blue eyes soft and sincere.

“Hey - if I ask you something, can you promise not to get weird?”

You nod, not risking saying anything. The alcohol makes your brain feel a bit fuzzy, your face flushed and warm. Then, Robin whispers something softly, delicately.

“Have you - have you ever thought about kissing a girl?” 

Your breath catches in your throat, a hot rush to your face - you’re almost positive you’re beet-red.

“I - um - what?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just - have you?”

You don’t know what possesses you - maybe it’s the alcohol, or the mourning of lost time, or the acute awareness of how close Robin’s face is to yours, doe-eyed and beautiful. But, aloud, you say something you’ve never even admitted to yourself.

“Yes,” you breathe. Then, without thinking, you’re closing the remaining distance between you two, and you press your lips to hers. She lets out a squeak of surprise, but doesn’t pull back. For a moment you’re terrified, and unable to believe this is happening, because you’re kissing your best friend and - of God, she’s kissing you back.

She tastes like cheap liquor and cherry Chapstick, her mouth moving with yours as you breath her in - lilies, sandalwood, and mint, and so Robin. All at once it’s scary, and amazing, and strangely familiar. You aren’t thinking about anything else, just how right this feels, even if it’s actually wrong. Your brain is short-circuiting, your skin is on fire. You suddenly understand what people mean by sparks, and they’re firing off in your head, unable to think anything besides yes. 

You open your mouth a bit, allowing Robin’s tongue to enter, exploring your mouth as you let out a small moan. You bring your hands to her hair, grasping the back of her head as she melts into you. She lets out a groan of approval, and you’re letting her take the lead, easing you back on the couch to lay underneath her.

Then, you’re both pulling away, gasping for breath. She’s hanging over you, and you both stare at each other wordlessly for a moment. You’re both breathing rapidly, hearts thumping, lips swollen and glossy. Robin speaks first.

“I - um, I just -”

“Shut up,” you breathe, and you’re pulling her down to you, kissing her deep and hard. She holds herself up, swinging one leg so that she’s straddling you. It’s getting messier, all gnashing teeth and tongue, your kisses becoming more desperate. Is this what you’ve been missing, this whole time?

Then, your fingers are toying with the hem of her t-shirt, lightly brushing the soft skin of her navel. You sit yourself up a bit, pushing her into an upright position, and she’s pulling it over her head. You stare at her, taking in the rapid rise and fall of her chest under her black bra, and it finally occurs to you that this is happening. Part of you thinks you might return to your senses, decide to not go any further, but it doesn’t happen - instead, you want more.

“Wow,” you gasp, taking her in. 

She smirks. “If you keep looking at me like that, we won’t make it to a bed.”

You smile devilishly in return. “Who says we have to?”

Then, she’s on you again, pressing you into the couch and kissing you hungrily. You gasp into her mouth, her lips soft and perfect, exactly how you’d imagined.

Then, she’s tugging at your shirt, and it’s being pulled over your head, flung to the other side of the room.

“Everything - ah, fuck - everything, off,” she breathes, fiddling with the button of your jeans. You help her and shimmy them down your legs, kicking them off the edge of the couch. She sits up, leaning back on her knees, and stares at you in absolute awe.

You suddenly feel shy, and cross your arms over your chest. “What is it?” you ask, avoiding her gaze.

“Nothing, it’s just,” she shakes her head incredulously, “you’re really beautiful, you know that?”

You blush at that, your heart fluttering and threatening to burst out of your chest - you can’t remember the last time someone called you beautiful, least of all him.

“You really mean that?” you ask, voice feeling small.

She nods, leaning over you again until her face is inches away.

“Yeah - I’ve always thought that.”

Then she’s kissing you again, deep and slow, and you sigh into her mouth. She moves from your lips to your neck, peppering kisses there and making her way down to your chest. Then, she looks up at you, eyes soft.

“Can I touch you?” she asks, her voice low.

Your stomach flutters, the warmth in your chest spreading further, lower.

“Yes,” you breathe. “Please.”

She grins, and presses another kiss to your chest, your neck, your lips, her hand traveling downwards. She brushes her fingers along the edge of your panties, toying with the elastic.

When her hand finally slips underneath the thin fabric, and she runs her finger along your slit, you gasp. 

“Jesus, you’re so wet,” she murmurs, completely in awe. She coats her fingers in your slit, touching you, but not exactly where you need her. Before you have a chance to beg, she brings her fingers to your clit, and you see stars.

You cry out, involuntarily bucking into her hand as she begins to rub slow circles on your clit. Your eyes flutter closed, and she toys with your cunt, spreading the lips and stroking.

“Oh, fuck,” you cry, voice shaky and strained.

“That feel good?” she asks, her voice sultry and low as she kisses your neck. You bite your lip and nod, unable to speak, unable to think anything besides how much you need her.

“Could he make you feel as good as I do?” she rasps. You shake your head,gasping for air as she speeds up her ministrations on your clit.

“Well, could he?”

“No! God - fuck - no, he couldn’t,” you gasp, writhing underneath her.

She smiles into your skin. “Good.”

Without warning, she sinks a finger inside of you. You moan, and as she curls it along that spot along your walls, your back arches, head thrown back in ecstasy.

“Oh, oh God,” you pant, grasping the back of Robin’s neck and pulling her impossibly closer to you.

“God’s not here, I’m afraid,” she whispers. Despite yourself, you roll your eyes. But before you can come up with a clever retort, she adds a second finger, and you lose all cognitive function.

She scissors her fingers, stretching you out, her thumb continuing on your clit. 

“You close? You gonna come for me?” she asks, reaching up with her other hand to start palming your breast.

“Yes - almost there - Robin, fuck, keep doing that -”

It’s too much, and not enough, and exactly what you’ve been needing. She pumps her fingers, once, twice, three times, and you’re done for. You let go, your orgasm washing over you like a tsunami. You scream, head lifting off of the pillow and pressing into her shoulder. You clench around her fingers, convulsing as she continues to circle your clit, slowing down as you ride out your high.

“That’s it - there you go, that’s perfect,” she croons, soothingly stroking your hair as you come down.

Then, you’re flopping back, heart pounding, panting heavily. She withdraws her fingers, and you look down, the sight of her hand coated in your juices making your head spin.

Did that really just happen? As you stare into Robin’s wide eyes hovering over yours, you come back to reality - the reality where you just had the best orgasm or your life on your best friend’s fingers, that is.

Neither of you say anything for a moment, matching each other’s slowing breathing as you assess the situation. You decide to break the silence.

“That - that was -”

“Yeah,” Robin says, sitting back up on her knees. “Um - is this the part where we talk about it?”

You look at her, as if you’re seeing her for the very first time. Maybe it’s the afterglow, or the fact that things make sense for what might be the first time in your life, or the fact that her lips look so kissable. But, you shake your head, and shakily bring yourself to a sitting position, pulling yourself closer to her.

“No,” you whisper, bringing your face close to hers, brushing your noses. “Now is the part where you show me how I can make you feel that good.” A smile spreads on her face, warm and big until she’s positively beaming. Then, you’re pulling her in for a passionate kiss, and she’s falling back, taking you with her. It’s all smiles and giggles, kisses and touches, and you know that no matter what happens after tonight, this is what you’ve been looking for.

Taglist: @cityofidek

Stranger Things requests are open!

View prompt lists below - in your request, please specify which prompt list you’re referring to, and which character you’d like it for!

random sentence prompts

smut prompts

touch prompts

kiss prompts

domestic fluff prompts

#anon request #random sentence prompts #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley fic #robin buckley smut #robin buckley x reader smut #stranger things fic #stranger things smut #robin buckley prompt #robin buckley oneshot #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley fanfiction #robin buckley fluff

[oflights]

Hi Allie! Love your fics and your prompt fills are great so far! If you still have room for more prompts, do you want to write something about time travel? Your time travel story in hockey RPF is one of my favorite fanfics ever and I would love to see your Drarry take. No pressure, though!

ahh hi, hello!! i have to tell you that this ask kind of broke my brain a little and gave me a new idea (not a Time Traveler's Wife AU, god, never again, bless u though) that i think is probably, sort of, maybe possibly going to turn into a real fic at some point? maybe?

here's 1.6k words of it for now hahaha. this is: professional time traveler draco who goes on an assignment back to the late 80s in surrey and maybe, sort of, possibly, accidentally kidnaps 7-year-old harry potter back to his time. yeah. enjoy? more to come someday???

Draco waits in an anxious crouch at the hearth, thighs straining, cursing himself for not just giving in to his aching back and getting on all fours. Not that that’s great for his knees—and Draco loves doing this mental exercise in his 30s, he really does, it’s—

“What do you want?” Blaise asks when he activates his Floo. He’s sitting with his legs slung over the arm of a chair, a book in his hands—upside down, because he’d definitely just picked it up and posed like that to answer the Floo. Draco rolls his eyes, face turned downward.

“Can you, erm, come over? Right now?”

“Right now?” Blaise echoes lazily. “I thought you were on assignment.”

“Right, I was, but I’m back now, and—”

“I hardly even noticed.”

Now Draco really rolls his eyes, and does not hide it; he doesn’t have the patience for this routine. “You are aware that when I’m on assignment, no time passes for you because I return directly to the moment in time where I first traveled from, right? So of course you wouldn’t have noticed, you never notice, and you just—look. Never mind. I need you to come over, right now.”

Now Blaise pinches the bridge of his nose with a frown. “Ugh. All that talk gives me a headache, you know that, Draco. Not the best way to get me to agree to your demands.”

“What if you agree to my demands because if you don’t, I will go over there and drag you through the Floo by your ear—”

“I’ve a full stone on you; unless you can time magic your way into some upper body strength—”

“I will get Greg and make him do it. Blaise.” Blaise finally looks up, the frown lingering. “I’m not joking. Please come here.”

For a moment, Blaise frowns deeply enough that it seems as if he is going to agree. He even puts down the book he’s not reading.

And then he gives Draco a slow, honeyed grin. “What’s in it for me?”

It takes the promise of a few good bottles of wine, a vow to join Blaise and his mother for tea with the latest stepfather, and all the money Draco has in his pocket—over 100 Galleons, unfortunately—to coax Blaise through the Floo. By then, Draco’s back is aching and it cracks ominously when he stands up, but the drops his hands from it as soon as Blaise steps through.

“All right,” Blaise says with a heavy sigh. “What’s so urgent?”

“It’s—I just—see, the thing is—” Draco paces, wringing his hands together, wincing at how sweaty they are. “It’s just that—oh, bollocks. I just need to show you.” Draco grabs Blaise by the wrist, ignoring his look of appalled offense, and marches him down the hall to the drawing room, where he casts a Notice-Me-Not and inches open the door. “Look,” he whispers, and Blaise pokes his head through and sucks in a breath.

“Is that—” Blaise says, and Draco shushes him quickly and shoves him back as the child looks up, frowning. He’s been frowning since Draco first saw him, hadn’t even stopped when Draco brought him here and scrounged up every abandoned toy Pansy’s girls or Teddy had ever left behind and presented them to him. He’d frowned when Draco asked him if he wanted something to eat, frowned harder when Draco had practically run to the kitchen to throw a jam sandwich together with shaking hands because he knew that, despite what the child said, he was surely hungry, he had to be, he—

“Sorry,” Draco says hastily as 7-year-old Harry Potter turns his frown in the direction of the cracked open door, ending the Notice-Me-Not. “Just, ah, checking on you. Everything all right?”

Harry just keeps frowning. He’s got a small soft toy in the form of a dragon in his hands, but he drops it on the tea table as Draco’s eyes sweep over it, placing his hands quickly in his lap. The plate from the sandwich is utterly empty, devoid even of crumbs, and the glass of milk is similarly drained, and Harry’s eyes flash to them with a guilt that shouldn’t be there, sending another fissure of heartbreak through Draco.

“Another sandwich?” he asks, knowing the answer he’s going to get and knowing the answer that’s true.

Harry shakes his head, the barest hint of movement; his tiny, too-thin shoulders are hunched. Draco takes a steadying breath, gives a firm, determined nod, and says, “I’ll be right back.”

He pushes back, where Blaise is stood to the side now, gaping. “Come on,” Draco whispers. “I’ll explain while I make him another sandwich.”

“Draco,” Blaise says urgently as he follows Draco on another dash to the kitchen. “Tell me that’s not Harry Potter.”

“It’s not Harry Potter,” Draco says in an utterly flat, emotionless voice. Blaise groans out loud.

“It’s finally happened. You’ve lost your mind completely; that job of yours has smoothed out every remaining wrinkle in your brain. Pansy was right, we should’ve staged an intervention years ago, it’s our fault, really—”

“It is, I’m in complete agreement,” Draco says, nodding vigorously as he slams into the swinging kitchen door. Everything to make the jam sandwich is still laid out on the bench, so he slices bread with shaking hands and then turns the knife on Blaise, a glob of jam trembling at the end of it. “I’ll have that intervention now, if it’s on offer.”

“It’s a bit bloody late for it, isn’t it?” Blaise says, rubbing his hands over his face. “Is he—that’s not adult Potter on potions, is it? Is this not as bad as I think it is?”

“No, and no, it’s definitely much worse than you think it is,” Draco says as he scrapes butter up on his knife and then scrapes it over the bread rather desperately. “It’s—look.” The knife drops with a clatter, and Draco whips out his pocket watch, shoving it under Blaise’s nose.

Blaise squints down at it. “I—Draco, you know I haven’t the foggiest what any of these mad instruments say. What am I looking at?”

“Do you see that ticking hand there? The green one?” Draco asks, jabbing his finger at it. “That’s our timeline. And the rest—all the different colored hands—those are other timelines. Sometimes I go to them to fix—things, aberrations, events falling too far out of control. Sometimes I go and—and destroy them, and the hands disappear. And sometimes I just go back in my timeline, the green timeline, and go on assignment, and I get bored because my assignment is in a horrible place called Little Whinging, Surrey, and I have time to kill—don’t laugh—and I decide to peek in on my old school rival and see if I can find any fun childhood embarrassments to make fun of for the next time he forgets who I am and tries to drunkenly hit on me at the pub—”

“Oh, good god, Draco.”

“—you know, when he calls me Dresden and asks where I went to school because he would’ve remembered—”

“It’s pathetic and absurd that you’re still completely fucking hung up on that, Draco, it was months ago—”

“Vengeance takes time!”

“Kidnapping someone from the past is a little far for vengeance! You are insane!”

“No, it’s not—” Draco takes a shuddering breath and turns back to the sandwich, struggling to unscrew the jam jar while still holding the pocket watch. “This isn’t vengeance. You didn’t see—I didn’t know—”

“Know what? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“It was—they treated him horribly, Blaise, I couldn’t—I wouldn’t—”

Draco hears Blaise suck in a harsh, shocked breath. “So this is—bloody hell. You’re not planning on sending him back?”

“I can’t. Even if I wanted to—look.” He whirls around with the watch again and points at a different hand. “See that—that tiny hand, the little red one? That’s a new timeline. It appeared when I brought him back here.”

Blaise stares at him in utter shock, more genuine emotion on his face that Draco’s ever seen. “So you created a new timeline, all on your own? Have you ever done that before?”

“Of course not. It’s utterly forbidden, it’s disastrous, I may have broken the universe. It’s—it’s the end of my time-traveling career.” Draco’s voice breaks on the last few words, and he turns back to the bench, wrenching the jam jar open, piling jam on top of the butter and then pulling out a new plate to serve it on. A flick of his wand and there’s a new glass, milk pouring into it, splashing out a little where Draco can’t keep a steady hand. His breathing is coming fast and a little wheezy.

“What are you going to do?” Blaise asks in a hushed, pitying voice.

Draco thinks about it for a second, trembling in his kitchen. A thousand different scenarios are flaring out in his mind, all the possibilities—he’s always thinking in multiple timelines in his line of work, always considering every possible outcome and calculation and consequence. It brings up an unpleasant buzzing in his head, rushing in his ears, and he has to take a deep, deep breath.

Then he sets the sandwich plate and the glass of milk to Levitate by the door, puts the pocket watch on the bench, picks up the knife, and brings the hilt of it down onto the face of the watch, smashing it to pieces that scatter all around them, dozens of colorful hands and gears and shattered pieces of glass, time strewn all about.

“Right now, I’m going to give that child a jam sandwich,” Draco says.

#drarry #drarry fic #oflights #asks #anonymous #fic prompts #deaging sort of?? #a lot is unsaid here because i am almost certainly going to make this a Thing lol #but i needed to get this out rn #am i going to break my own heart writing this eventually? yes probably #ain't that just the way #my fic

[slutforhaechan]

Saw the post about sending you a dirty thought about your bias, here's mine

Yangyang and you being best friends since being pre-teens, occasionally you two kiss each other, just for fun, when something special happened or just when you feel like it, that's usually where you draw the line tho.

One time when there's another "special occasion" he asks if he can kiss you. Eventually it turns into a make out session with you on his lap, you both getting more horny with each second that passes. Then one of you goes "we've crossed the line anyway now, how about we do it in style" and you two end up fucking each other throughout the whole night, eventually wondering why you've never thought about doing this before.

I didn't plan on making it this detailed- hope you enjoyed that

i enjoyed it anon hahaha, mmhm just gonna add some spicy and detailed ss on your thought. hope you liked it!🌨️

yangyang can't resist the feeling of his burning body when he saw you, so he didn't hesitate to ask you if he can kiss you again, you agreed because you feel the same way too. the hot steamy make out session leds you both to the edge of horniness on every kiss, every grind of each others clothed core, both of you are aware of what you two doing and it seems like making out can't satisfy you both. "we've already crossed the boundaries yangyang, let's fuck now please. i'm so needy for you". yangyang take off his clothes also you, he positioned himself between your thighs and you spread wide open your legs to give him the sight of your wet dripping pussy, he slowly put his hardening cock in your pussy, slowly thrusting his length and your body jolts in pleasure "oh yangyang, that feels so food" cried out in pleasure, eyes staring at him looking fucked out already. "whats stopping us fucking back then, you literally feels amazing y/n. can't get enough of you". he groan, every thrust he hits the sweet spot deep inside you and your eyes rolled back and can't comprehend on what you want to say, you just keep moaning in feeling. "fuck you y/n, your pussy is finding a dick to be buried in your aching pussy right? and it's only my dick you've been looking for oh god". you nodded even you comprehending his words. the whole night yangyang and you spend fucking and can't get enough of your bodies.

#nct #nct smut #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #haechan #jaemin #mark lee #nct mark #jeno #mark lee smut #yangyang #wayv yangyang #yangyang smut #ten lee

[fanfic-gallery]

hahaha got it! 😆 so may i request a poly!gn!mc x the demon brothers, where mc is acting moody (like, one second they’re happy, then they're crying, then they're mad, etc) and the brothers have no idea of what's going on, till they figure out mc is on their period? and then all of them start pampering mc or something like that? 😊 feel free to ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. take care!! 🥰🥰

a human secret

who knew that the worst combination during the time of the month was a mixture of cramps and good ol’ mood swings, they surely didn’t think so [or even knew so—]

✎ demon brothers x afab! reader

|| poly, [slight] hurt/comfort, fluff

|| cw : mentions of blood

✎ manager's note : when can we get lovely bois like these to take care of our every need? sigh.. jk lmao, still, super superrr cute idea anon! actually if this post gets enough likes, i might even make a part 2 with the dateables??? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) who knowsss, guess you gotta give a like to find out ˋ( ° ▽、° ) 

“..p-pardon, pfft—” his response bounded in laughter, lips quivering with a smile as pearly white lashes fluttered with bits of tears. asmo huffed a pout; cheeks puffed, amber hues alongside several others behind him lurking, staring daggers at the fellow sorcerer, who show barely much signs of tuning down his approach to the brothers whole situation. day after night after day of just booking in and out of your sorry state of a room with remedies, snacks, anything after lucifer had deemed you sick from your agonizing whines of bitter pain from the pits of your stomach.

nothing seemed to work however.. most lost in the little out breaks of emotion you would rain down on them when things turn to shit. mammon had been the first; half empty glass of iced juice splashed and spilled over your bed dresser, your arms curled against your abdomen harder than before, annoyed groans turned to full on whimpers muffled under thick sheets. “mammon.. just- just leave.. your help, is.. much appreciated—” your tone morphed to sobs, your stuffy nose as clear as day in the ears of the greedy demon; his heart ached, head sinking in self pity.

yet no sorrowful gratitude can compare to a moment with beel; his ass landing right on your carpeted floor with a pillow laying right beside him, bits of it’s feathers dancing along the tense air, the perfectly sculpted sandwich laying in pieces right before his very eyes. the pupils of your eyes stormed in irritation, rage, utter bitterness, ones that only satan or lucifer themselves would hold. for the first time, he felt every sort of fright towards you, fingers steady yet hesitant to drag across your cheek, to comfort you within his arms.

“what’s so FUNNY?!” thumping footsteps making their way towards solomon only for a hand to stop them in its place; lucifer glared, red irises burning holes into mammon’s own, who in turn, creeped back with hands raised to his chest as a sign of surrendering. “solomon, darling, this isn’t the time for one of your jokes- this is serious- this is about our dear Y/N here!?” with a last huff, he flashed back a smile; eye lids closed into a grin. “do you all truly want to know the cause of my laughter~?” impatience nibbled at the eldest’s flesh, a lowly growl escaping his lips. “if you wish to live to see another day.. i expect you to get a move on..”

“of course, hahah~ you see in the human realm...”

“mmm..” you groaned, head still mushed into the confines of your now flattened pillow. you had barely rose from your bed since morning; your stomach running a rampage underneath your skin; heat set blazed as your sex was squished between the warm cotton surface of your pad from a few minutes ago. drip, drip, drip. fluids of your own making seeping into the absorbent fabric of your bottoms.. and your sheets.  “nonononoNO— uGHHH, just my fucking luck..” crimson red stained a patch of your mattress (your freshly, dressed mattress you had cleaned a few days before), it’s colour spreading the longer it stayed.

“stupid period cycle.. well, might as well get a snack while i’m at it—” you mumbled, dragging another pair of clean undergarments and comfy sweats before tugging at the bedcover of yours and heading to the kitchen. silence filled your ears after the door clicked closed, only the sounds of your humming was heard through the halls and down the stairs; your feet stumbling slightly with your vision barely visible from the unfolded white cloth in your hand.

“where are the others anyway.. it’s been at least a few hours since they left..”

you flicked at the light switch. essence of brewed congee flooding your senses; snacks, from sugary to savoury, stacked on top of one another piling up in a mountain. beside it, a gigantic tumbler alongside heating pouches used to warm one on a cold winter’s day. “what.. is all, this?” you muttered under sniffles, taking steps forward to breath in the sweet porridge. “surpriseee!” a sudden grip of arms wrapped around your waist, their scent laced in in favours of strawberries and cherry.

“a-asmo! everyone..” cheeks flared up as hands brought up the nick knacks from across the table before you, some even butting heads with one another for your slightest attention; yet, none can compare to what drew you in the most. standing before the kitchen doorway, blues and purples blended in black leaning against the doorframe; shimmering silver disappearing back into the shadows with a smile plastered on his lips. “solomon..”

“we do apologies for not realising your condition sooner— ” lucifer started yet ended with your subtle chuckle echoing the room of painted cement. “no need to be! i should be the one saying sorry for lashing out at the stupidest reasons— ” you continued only to be stopped by the many other voices within the kitchen, all deny your claims out burst except for one..

“munch, munch.. mmm~ so good!”

“bEEL— cut that out, we bought all this wasn’t for you to stuff your face in!?”

“Y/N.. i heard warmth mellows out the pain, why don’t we go cuddle in the attic to make you feel better?”

“oH NO YOU DON’T— ”

“sigh, hahah~ what am i ever gonna do with them..~”

#obey me! #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date? obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #obey me x reader #obey me x y/n #obey me x you #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #levi x reader #satan x reader #asmodeus x reader #asmo x reader #beelzebub x reader #beel x reader #belphegor x reader #belphie x reader

[dearheart42regenerated]

gritting my teeth and sharing this in the tag in hopes that it'll help me manifest actually FINISHING this fic.......

--

“I’m still not buying this!” Chuck popped out from the passenger’s side and leaned over the door, pointing an accusing finger at her. “How do you really know about Mutt?” he demanded.

Capri blinked and frowned, giving him a once-over as she crossed her arms. “How do you know about Mutt, Goldilocks?”

Texas cracked up at the nickname, slapping Dutch on the back. “Goldilocks! That’s a good one, hahaha…” 

“The name’s Chuck, for your information,” huffed Goldilocks, “and I’ve been hanging with Mikey since elementary school. Where have you been his whole life?”

“Elementary school, huh?” Something bitter flickered in her eyes. “That must’ve been nice…”

Mike tried to calm his friend, slightly taken aback by how riled up he was. “Easy, Chuckles, let’s just–”

“No! I’m not gonna sit back and let some random stranger put you through this all over again, dude! It’s not okay!”

“Look, I appreciate it, but–”

“All she has is a story about your bobblehead. That’s not actual proof she’s your sister!”

“He’s right.” Dutch’s eyes were wary. “Anyone could make up a childhood memory like that. How do we know Kane isn’t paying this one off like he did with your fake dad?”

“Let’s at least hear her out first, guys,” said Julie, exasperated. “You can’t demand ‘real proof’ and then not give her a chance at all! Maybe she–”

“I still say she’s an evil clone!” Texas declared.

The arguing devolved into chaos, everyone speaking over each other to the point where nothing coherent could be heard anymore.

“Heartwarming reunion over, I guess,” Capri muttered, unfastening her thigh holster. She pulled out a laser pistol and fired two blasts into the air. “EVERYONE. SHUT UP.”

Everyone shut up.

She sighed and holstered the gun, glaring at nobody in particular. “Sweet baby gumdrops. Okay. FIRST of all…” She turned to Mike. “You don’t need to take my word for it. I wouldn’t take my word for it, either.” Her com-screen popped up, glowing fiery orange. She scrolled, selected a file with the words “CAPRI C. GENETIC PROFILE” hovering above it, and flicked it over to him. “There you go. The DNA can speak for itself.”

Mike took it but barely glanced at it, still looking at her as if she were a hologram herself – something that could disappear any second. Chuck just stared at the unopened file from the other side of the car, unable to hide his own curiosity.

“Secondly. Goldilocks.”

He jumped and straightened his posture with a gulp. (Texas snickered.)

Her boots thumped in the silence as she strode towards him, cold annoyance in her voice. “For your information, I wasn’t talking about Mutt to prove I’m Mike’s sister. I brought it up to find out if he’s my brother.” She fished in one of her pockets and pulled out a well-worn photograph, dangling it in front of his nose. “There could be any number of ‘Mike Chiltons’ running around and I haven’t been here in a while. I wanted to be sure.” 

“Whoa,” he murmured, one hand reaching for it. 

Capri snatched it away, eyes hard as steel, and walked back around to Mike. Her expression softened when she handed the photo to him. “I am sure, now.”

It showed a little girl with messy hair and an even messier t-shirt – face scrunched up in a grin, one front tooth missing – and a wide-eyed baby dangling in her arms like a kidnapped puppy, clutching Mutt in small chubby hands, attempting to shove the top of its bobbing head in his mouth. The colors were faded, the edges bent and torn; but the happiness captured in it was so vibrant it made his chest ache. 

Any doubts he had left vanished, replaced by dizzying questions he couldn’t find words for. He had a sister. This was real. (What happened?)

“Thirdly!” said Capri, giving the other Burners a smile that bordered on a snarl. “I’m so very sorry if I’m being rude here, it's just that I spent the last seventy-two hours hopping city-to-colony and crossing a gazillion miles of mutants, raiders, boiling heatwaves and radiation pits to get back to Motorcity. Totally for funsies, of course. It's not like I’ve been trying to track down the only family I have left or anything.” 

Everyone shifted uncomfortably.

“Point being, I’ve had a long flippin’ day! So how about you nosy little ferrets take that file I just sent, run the DNA test, confirm I’m actually not a lying scumbag, and then y’all can decide on how to torture me next. What do you think?” she growled, shooting “Goldilocks” an incinerating look. “That sound alright to you? Chuck?”

Chuck all but melted into a whimpering puddle of terror and compliance, stammering out a vaguely affirmative reply as he stumbled over to where the unopened file still hovered.

“Great! Glad we could get that sorted out.” 

Everything in her demeanor dripped with spite…but Mike was beginning to notice the dark circles under her eyes, the heaviness in her shoulders. How many miles had she really crossed to get here? How many hours had she spent combing the dark labyrinth of Motorcity to find him? (Based on nothing but a hope that it might be him?)

And then they had all assumed the worst of her. 

Capri must be exhausted.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She stormed off towards her motorcycle. “I’m gonna check my bike for damage and maybe also secretly plot to sell out your leader to the guy who destroyed my whole childhood. Holler if you need me.”

#motorcity #mike chilton #capri chilton #VERY rough draft lol #made by yours truly #not beta-read and not perfect but I feel surprisingly good about how this is turning out......... #IF I manage to finish this and turn it into the 2-parter I'm imagining I'll put it on AO3 #maybe #god I haven't written anything in ages I feel so RUSTY