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#miley is so. i love her i have loved her since i was in first grade i will love her for the rest of my life
britneyshakespeare · 10 months
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me: you can't save me... Night Crawling by Miley Cyrus featuring Billy Idol: yes I can. I'm Night Crawling by Miley Cyrus featuring Billy Idol.
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hellfire--cult · 1 month
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Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Best Friend!Fem!Reader
wc: 19.2k (it wasn't intended to be this long)
+18, best friends to lovers, rockstar eddie, mentions of drug usage (not abuse), slight mention of steve x reader, jealousy, self-consciousness, reader feels insecure about her body, mentions of skin texture (cellulite, adiposities, stretchmarks, floppiness, sagginess, etc), smut, love making, p in v (protected), fingering, just pure absolute fluff.
Plot: You've been in love with your best friend ever since you can remember, and the hope of ever confessing vanished slowly as he signed a record deal and became a rockstar. His flings were now models, and singers... how can you even compete? Their perfect and smooth skin against your cellulite and stretchmarks? Their bodies completely perky?...But your rockstar kind of explodes with his feelings, out of jealousy, and shows you just how much you don't have to worry about that.
a/n: absolutely self indulgent. thank you to all the beautiful friends that read this, and were in the middle of me making this happen. i love you @munson-blurbs @andvys @ghost-proofbaby @pastel-pillows @the-unforgivenn @littlesubbyflower !
always reblog, don't be lazy
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ORANGE PEEL SKIN
Being best friends with a rockstar was not something you ever thought you’d be. 
But you have been friends even before his fame took off before his songs were known. Before his band got called into a prestigious studio back in L.A to record their first-ever demo album. Before his life got turned into a life of luxury and parties. A life he always didn’t believe he would get, but he worked hard to get it, manifested it, and now he is the leader of his rock band.
Corroded Coffin.
With the same three friends from High School, and he was the shining star of it all. He insisted on his bandmates, Jeff, Gareth and Grant to trust him, and they did, ending up with this record deal, and they will forever be grateful to him. 
Now, you, well, you weren’t in the band, but Eddie invited you on tour sometimes, because that’s what being his best friend got you. You often insisted for him not to waste money on your trips, plane tickets, hotel room, and pleasantries, but he never listened. He showered you with gifts whenever he could.
He got you the latest cellphone, designer bags, and clothes, some perfumes, but he never fails to buy you the one thing you like the most in every country he visits, and it’s tiny, yet he always smiles when he gives it to you. Magnets. 
You collected them in your fridge, amazed to see every place he’s been to, knowing that the boy that lived in the small trailer in Forest Hills now brings you magnets from all around the world. The boy you’ve known since you moved to Hawkins. The boy that tried to teach you DnD in the woods at the back of his trailer, but your fourteen-year-old self didn’t care for games. Yet you loved listening to him.
Because you’ve been in love with Eddie Munson ever since you can remember.
But that love is impossible, now more than ever. He never gave the indication he felt the same, and sure you two were close, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You always sit on his lap so he can play with your hair, or you two would greet each other with kisses on the cheeks, or simply hold hands as you two watch a movie together.
Now Eddie being a rockstar, well, you have no chance whatsoever. He had a fling with Miley Cyrus, and you remember it clearly. It was a simple drunk fuck, but it was enough to make you realize that you are certainly not his type. Then he hooked up with another model, and you found out because you saw it on a gossip instagram page.
Your heart broke in pieces when you saw it, knowing the boy you loved for so long so out of reach, yet so close thanks to your friendship. Even if in pain, you could not let him go, not that easily. You just loved him so much, but even you knew it had to be stopped at some point. It couldn’t go on. You will die from a heartbreak sooner or later, and you have to avoid it.
But he makes it difficult, and even more so now that he is taking a break from tour to visit Hawkins so he can see his old friends and Wayne, including you. It’s been four months since you’ve seen him in person, only talking with him through phone and video calls, but very little. He was always busy or going to parties or meeting other bands and singers.
And even if that hurts you, you will never stop loving him. Not really, not ever.
“You okay?”
Your thoughts got cut off as you shook your head to look at Chrissy who was looking at you with a worried look on her face. Your best friend knew about your feelings for the metalhead, and Chrissy has held you many times on nights where you just cried your eyes out because of every call, of every picture, of every rumor you heard of him. 
“Yeah, I am just nervous I guess.” You responded and Chrissy only nodded in a slow motion towards you. You looked around to see everyone gathered in Steve’s backyard, the sunset giving perfect orange hues as Wayne started the fire for some burgers, and Dustin was getting the cooler with beers alongside Mike. 
You couldn’t believe these boys were almost twenty. You didn’t mind that they drink some beers at this age, because who didn’t drink alcohol being below twenty-one? But did time pass by this quickly? When did it happen?
“If you say so.” Chrissy mumbled as she pressed a hand on your shoulder for reassurance. You couldn’t be more grateful for a friend like Chrissy. You really don’t know where you would be if it weren’t for her. Probably crying in every possible corner Hawkins had to give.
“Will you two stop being lazy asses and get the drinks from inside?” Steve yelled and you just rolled your eyes, while Chrissy flipped him off, Robin and Nancy laughing while putting up some balloons and preparing the music. You and your best friend walked inside to get the glasses and the sodas for the night. 
“He seriously needs to stop acting like a mother.” You groaned as you piled up the red cups in your hands, hearing Chrissy snorting behind you as she took the sodas out of the fridge.
“And yet–” And she suddenly went silent. You started hearing cheering from outside and you shut your eyes very tight, wincing slightly at the impending pain that your heart will feel at seeing him. You could already hear his electric voice, all enthusiastic and happy, and it made your heart jump three feet up.
You heard your name being called by Chrissy and it made you open your eyes so you could take a deep breath in, slowly turning around to finally look out the window to see him, your breath being knocked out in one single glance. 
His hair, tied in a bun, scruff on his chin and jaw, curls falling on the sides of his face as he hugged Dustin tightly, swirling him around while the rest of the band greeted everyone else. You didn’t want to be a bitch to the other three, but your eyes could only see Eddie. Only Eddie. A tight tank top with ripped sleeves reveals tattoos that linger across his arms and hands. Black ripped jeans with chains hanging from his waist, and a piercing on his nose, a hoop that glistened with the orange hue of the sunset.
You took a deep breath trying to calm your accelerating heart, trying to not let the blood go all the way to your cheeks, to your body, as you looked at him. It’s not like when you two talk on video calls, it cannot compare.
Chrissy cleared her throat, making you snap out, looking at him with a wild look on your face. She chuckled softly as she walked outside and you immediately heard Eddie cheerfully yell her name, and she was yelling to be careful with the bottles in her hands. 
“You can do this… You can definitely do this. Just keep pretending, everything will be okay.” This was always what you told yourself before seeing him in person. Even at school. You often wondered if you would ever stop these feelings of yours, but even if there was a possibility of them stopping, how do you reach that?
You took another deep breath, getting hold of the stack of red cups you had bought for today, and you rolled your shoulders, once, twice, and finally stepped out into the garden. His back was towards you, so it gave you time to put the cups on the table as you looked at the back of his head. He was talking with Jonathan as Dustin walked over to hand him a beer. 
You could hear his laughter, and you wanted to stay there, yet you also wanted to run away. So far away. But you couldn’t do that now, not when Dustin told Eddie something and then pointed towards you, making him turn around and his brown eyes finally caught onto yours.
Every thought of running away evaporated because that’s what Eddie does to you. He turns you into putty, into his slave, into a submissive prey that will do whatever he commands. Just with him looking at you, and flashing a smile your way as his eyes light up with yours. A smile was immediately drawn to your lips, not pretending, because you loved him, and you didn’t have to pretend to be happy to see him.
Because you were. Extremely so.
He handed the beer to Dustin in a quick manner as he started rushing towards you, making your legs work as well, meeting him halfway in order for his arms to open wide as his smile worked all the way up, face lighting up as he sees you, and you just can’t help the extreme happiness that invades you and fills you the moment he wraps his arms around your frame.
His perfume, his scent, the smell of the shampoo of his hair, everything was engulfing you as well as his hands pressing all over your back, while your arms wrapped around his shoulders, your nose digging into the crook of his neck. He chuckles when he feels your breath on his skin, and you are unaware of the shiver that runs through his spine at the feel of it.
He pulled away with a grin on his face, and that’s when he finally took notice of how you had a different hair color, you two had talked through video call two weeks ago, so it was a very recent change. He straightened up to grab hold of one strand as he raised a playful eyebrow up.
“A new style, Kitty?” 
That damn nickname. It stuck to you when Eddie and you had a school show back in middle school, and he was spared from acting, but you were disguised as a black cat. He made fun of you, of course, but that’s what made you two grow close to one another. 
You fought the heat that was rising up on your cheeks as you giggled and looked down to the floor, giving him a short nod.
“Yeah, wanted to try something new.” He gave a nod to you and you raised your head up to look back to his eyes once more. He was looking at you with fondness as if you were the only light in his path at the moment.
“You look beautiful.”
It wasn’t the first time Eddie complimented you, but it wasn’t easier each time he did it. Your heart always leaped at his comments, always raising a little bit of hope inside of you that you didn’t know if it was healthy or not. He was just your best friend, and your fantasies are just that. Fantasies.
“T-Thanks Eds… I hope this whole rockstar career didn’t make you a wuss with alcohol.” You tried to lighten the moment and it worked as he laughed wholeheartedly at you, shaking his head.
“You are not going to beat me at chugging beer. Last time you almost puked!”
“We’ll see.”
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You did not win. You just wanted to see him have fun and laugh as the foam of the beer got out of your nose as you choked on the drink. 
It was a nice night, warm, and the buzz of the alcohol was not too great, just enough to feel funny but conscious. It was nice having Eddie here, and you could notice it around the whole group. Dustin couldn’t stop nerding with him about DnD, and Robin was telling him about how she managed to get Chrissy on a date.
You were laughing with Mike as he explained to you how Nancy almost caught him and Will in the closet and you couldn’t help but wince because you still saw these two boys as little teenagers, and it was weird imagining them in this situation. 
But it seems someone was bored.
“Now that we are older, can you PLEASE play Never Have I ever with us!?” Everyone’s gazes turned to the redhead that had the beer in her hand, moving it from side to side and everyone couldn’t help but burst out in laughter because ever since these kids tried alcohol at the age of fifteen, they’ve been trying to play these games with all the grown-ups. 
“Okay, you guys are old enough. I don’t want any ews, or ahs, okay?” Steve replied and Dustin rolled his eyes at him.
“Same goes for you, Steve.”
And yeah, he was right, because it was going to be weird listening to these kids talk about their experiences with all of you. But whatever, Eddie doesn’t come often, might as well have fun with it.
You all sat around, and you were in between Chrissy and Jonathan while Eddie sat at front in between Robin and Dustin. Max cleared her throat, signaling that she was about to start, and all of you tried to stop the giggling at the whole situation.
“I’ll start. Never have I ever… kissed someone of the same sex.” 
Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, Dustin, Lucas, and you didn’t drink. Everyone else did. You knew Eddie had kissed guys before, experimenting. The one that everyone turned to look at though, was Steve.
“Seriously Harrington?” Eddie asked, completely surprised and you snorted into your beer as Steve looked at him with an eyebrow raised.
“What? I never had the curiosity.” Eddie shrugged and took a sip of his beer as Robin came next.
“Okay, okay… Never have I ever… done harder drugs than weed.”
“Low blow Buckley.” Eddie said as he took a sip of his drink, Jonathan followed right behind, making Will look at him with his mouth wide open.
“What!?” Will yelled at his brother, who only laughed as he wiped his mouth.
“My best friend is Argyle, what do you expect?” And Will only rolled his eyes as Mike chuckled and patted his boyfriend’s shoulder to calm him down. You cleared your throat as you knew that Eddie had tried many things thanks to the connections he now has with the famous environment he is in. 
You remember when he once video-called you telling you he felt like shit because he took two lines of coke for the very first time. One would think that an ex-dealer would have tried stronger things, but not Eddie. He never was fond of them, yet, he felt pressured to do so that night.
“Okay, my turn. Never have I ever… puked all over a friend.” And the bastard wiggled his eyebrows your way, and you cussed at him on the low, taking a sip of your drink, as well as Robin with an embarrassed look on her face while Steve winced in disgust.
“Not fair Eddie.” You whined at him and he could only laugh. It was the first time you’d ever gotten drunk, and it took two glasses of fireball and coke for you to barf all over your best friend as he tried to get you out of the party. It was humiliating, yet Eddie held you tight and reassured you that everything was okay.
He took care of you the whole morning afterwards, telling your mom that you crashed at his place because you were tired, even if his place and yours were five minutes away. 
“My turn.” Dustin said with a smug look on his face and Steve took a sharp intake of breath, and you could only groan. “I didn’t even say anything.”
“C’mon Henderson, what do you want to know?” Chrissy laughed as she saw Robin rolling her eyes at her but with a small smile on her lips. Dustin smirked and straightened up.
“Never have I ever slept with anyone in this circle.”
Will and Mike groaned as they took sips of their own drinks, same as Max as she flipped Dustin off and Lucas laughing while shaking his head. Jonathan and Nancy also took sips of their drinks, Steve, as well, Robin and Chrissy…
And you.
Causing everyone to look at you in disbelief.
“What?” Your best friend said with a mocking laugh, thinking you were lying, but another person winced in the circle as Dustin let out a victorious laugh, raising his fist up with a pump.
“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” 
“Dustin.” You groaned as you clenched your eyes tightly and Dustin shook his head, while everyone looked at him.
“No, I was right, and you two fucking lied about it!” He screamed and Eddie was looking back and forth between you and Dustin, not knowing what was going on.
“You two?” Jonathan asked and then, everyone’s eyes turned to one of the single males in the group who had his hand running in his hair with an exasperated sigh.
“Yeah Dustin, we lied.” Steve finally responded. 
Everyone, except for Dustin remained silent as the curly-headed guy let out a scoff with a shake of his head.
“And you thought I wouldn’t figure it out.” He said with a smug look on his face and you couldn’t even look up from embarrassment, but a voice made you snap out to finally make you talk.
“Kitty?” 
Shit.
“When did this happen?” Robin asked in disbelief and you sighed, finally looking up from your glass, trying to not look at your best friend who was piercing his gaze through your skull, making a shiver run down your spine.
“A month ago.” Everyone almost screamed at the confession and you sighed with a roll of your eyes.
“HOW!?” Mike now asked and Steve cleared his throat, a chuckle then escaping his mouth.
“We were drunk… blasted off drunk.” Eddie’s mouth was on the floor right now, and you could see the betrayal that was slowly plastering on his face, making you wince inwardly. You didn’t tell him. You didn’t want to tell him, and now he knew, and you felt the lump of guilt forming inside your throat and guts.
“Wait, was it after the barbeque?” Will asked this time and Dustin chuckled with a nod to his head, making you and Steve glare at him.
“Yep. I forgot my phone, and imagine my surprise when I heard moaning throughout the house and her car was still parked outside.” Everyone except for three people gasped at the situation, making Dustin proud of his discovery. “Steve told me it was another girl while she slept in his parent’s bed.”
“It was believable.” Steve retorted, making you scoff at that.
“It was fucking dumb Steve.” At your response, everyone’s heads snapped at you while Steve looked at you with an offended frown on his eyebrows.
“It wasn’t! He is just too nosy! And let me remind you, you jumped my bones first.” Gasps and whistles were now heard in your circle of friends as your mouth dropped to the floor, looking at Steve with anger in your face.
“I did not! You were the one who started it!” And to be honest, you could hardly remember that night, you were depressed and angry, and Steve was pent up. That’s all it was. 
“Okay, I don’t remember who did, we’ll just say we are both to blame.” Steve raised his cup up towards you with a sheepish smile on his face, making you roll your own, but a smile was on your lips as you raised your cup as well and took a sip from it. 
“Well, that’s something I didn’t know.” You almost choked as you looked towards your best friend after the confession you blurted out. He had a piercing gaze towards your way, a glare, anger behind his eyes with his arms crossed over his chest. The air immediately tensed and you weren’t the only one who felt it. 
Everyone else was looking somewhere else than in between the two of you. You knew you were in the wrong for not telling him anything, but you really didn’t want him to know about it. It was a one-time thing that would never happen again, so you really didn’t see the need to do so.
Steve also noticed the tense air, clearing his throat to talk once more.
“Okay, my turn, right?”
 And the game went on, but not with the same cheery atmosphere as before. You were quiet, and Eddie was angry, passing on his turn whenever he had to say something. You barely included yourself in the game, your mind racing with nervousness and guilt from not telling your best friend you slept with Steve. 
Once everyone finally decided the night was done, you helped Robin and Chrissy try to tidy up Steve’s kitchen the best you could. You didn’t want to face Eddie, the alcohol in your system was long gone thanks to the dread of facing him alone at some point in the week. You were washing the cups as Robin and Chrissy started giggling and you sent them a wink as they rushed out and up the stairs to one of Steve’s rooms.
“So they left you on cleaning duty.” Steve entered the kitchen with empty bottles with a groan as he threw them in the trash. You giggled and shrugged, finishing to wash the last cup.
“They are in their honeymoon phase, let them be.” You turned off the water from the sink as you felt Steve stand next to you with his arms over his chest.
“But chicks stain sheets, and I really don’t want to hear them having sex. Why can’t they go to one of their houses?” You rolled your eyes as you dried your hands with one of the hand towels that was hanging from the oven’s handle. 
“Put some headphones on, suck it up like a man.” You giggled and he followed with a chuckle only for the two of you to be interrupted by a clear of throat and some keys jingling.
“Sorry to interrupt. Let’s go home.” Eddie was leaning against the door frame of the kitchen, swinging his keys around his middle finger with a piercing gaze thrown your way. You looked at him in complete confusion, tilting your head.
“I– I came with my car–” 
“Let’s go home.” It was stern, angry, and fed up. It was a command. He wanted to talk, and you knew that. Your heart hammered in your chest as you sighed, giving Steve a look and he gave you a reassuring nod with a worried frown. 
“You’ll pick up your car tomorrow.” The brown-haired man said as the rockstar rolled his eyes, walking out of the kitchen. You gave Steve one last look before following Eddie out and then towards the front door.
The black matte Jeep Wrangler standing at the front in all of its glory, and it sometimes makes you miss his old van. The one the both of you smoked weed in between school periods, after school, and on the weekends. The one where you laid at the top to star gaze, completely high off your minds. 
You heard a click, snapping you out as you saw him lighting a cigarette while walking, opening the passenger’s door for you, but not waiting for you to get in. He rounded the car to go into the driver’s seat, making you gulp thanks to your nervousness, not knowing where the night was headed. 
You slowly got inside the car, closed the door, and buckled your seatbelt properly, trying to keep your heart out of your throat as it threatened to come out. His eyes were unreadable as they stared forward, making the engine of the car roar as he rolled the window down for the smoke to leave the interior. 
And then, it was quiet. Not even music was on.
He was driving, one hand gripped on the wheel while the other stuck out of the window with the cigarette in between his fingers. You didn’t know where to look or what to do as you played with your fingers on top of your lap, looking out the window. 
What were you supposed to say? Should you wait for him to say something? Or is he waiting for you? Is he waiting for a sign so he can start talking? You don’t understand why the air is so tense between the two of you, it’s not like you murdered someone, it was just–
What–
“Hang on, are you not taking me home?” You asked as you looked at the exit that would take you to your apartment complex. You received no response, making you look at him who was still looking ahead of the road, flicking the cigarette out the window as his other one clenched onto the wheel. 
You knew where he was taking you, back to his apartment in Indianapolis. It wasn’t a long ride, but it was half an hour away, meaning you would have to stay silent for the whole ride, and it was making your gut turn uncomfortably. 
Eddie and you never fought, and you for sure never received this kind of treatment from him. The only time you can remember something like this happened, was back in middle school when you didn’t tell him you had your first kiss with Richard Pax. It was in spin the bottle, and you were embarrassed about it. 
He didn’t talk to you for a whole week until he saw you crying and understood that you were just ashamed of it, and you couldn’t even face Richard for how nervous you were. Eddie apologized to you, and held your hand afterwards, telling you to not consider that your first kiss, that it should be special and one you wanted.
You could feel your phone pinging, and you looked down to see Steve messaging you if you were okay, that Eddie didn’t look happy at all. You sighed as you opened your messages to type a reply back only to get a scoff from your partner inside the car.
“You’re with me right now, at least put the phone down.” Your eyebrows pinched together at that answer, looking at him as anger started rising up inside of you.
“You’re not even talking to me, you have no right to ask anything from me right now.” 
“Mmm.”
The air was now filled with anger, you could feel it because you were the one enraged now. Who did he think he was? Acting pissed just cause you didn’t tell him one thing? You were betting he didn’t tell you many things that he does at the parties he attends or the tours he does with his bands. 
Hypocrite. 
You texted Steve back, aiming the screen away from Eddie’s gaze.
And that’s how the thirty minutes passed by till Eddie finally got the jeep inside the underground parking lot of his building. You unbuckle your seatbelt, stepping out of the car at the same time Eddie did. The doors slamming echoed all over the immense space as Eddie headed towards the elevator, pressing the button to call it down. 
You were angry, nervous, anxious, confused, not understanding why Eddie was acting this way at all. You couldn’t even look at him as the elevator finally reached the floor, and he got in. You hesitated for a few seconds, but it was no use as he held the doors open with his broad hand.
You stepped in, and he pressed his floor, the metal doors closing in front of you. The small space was suffocating you. You could hear his angry and heavy breathing. Maybe you can play it off with a joke or something. Make the air a little lighter, trying to make the tense moment go away, but the distant look in his eyes made you think twice about that. 
You were fidgeting in your place with your purse in your hands. The elevator kept going up until it reached the penthouse at the top. It was over the top, but someone who didn’t have anything growing up, wants the best of the best when he has the opportunity to do so. So Eddie wanted the best of the building of course.
The elevator doors opened and he walked out first, walking towards the double doors of his home, typing in the password in his security lock. You heard the beeping of the numbers being punched in, and you groaned, walking out of the elevator as he opened the front door of his home.
You walked in right after him, taking in the scent of his cologne as he walked further in. You closed the door behind you and it automatically locked in place. It wasn’t that big of a penthouse, not really, and he filled it with his own stuff, his mugs, his records, his guitars. It was Eddie, even if it’s not the trailer back at Hawkins.
You waited for him to talk, only to see him walking away towards the hallway, going towards his bedroom, making you frown in anger. You followed him, stomping next to the couch where you dropped your purse, not caring for it anymore.
He was in front of his king-sized bed with black covers, taking his jacket off, not giving you a second glance. You clenched your jaw at how immature he was, all because you didn’t tell him one thing in your life. Just one.
“Are you gonna talk to me now, or are you going to keep being a little child?” His mouth dropped at your words as if he couldn’t believe you were talking to him that way. He slowly looked up at you, standing in the doorway of his room with your arms crossed over your chest.
“Me? Why don’t you talk sweetheart? Why didn’t you tell me about you and Stevie?” And your anger started bubbling up again. 
“Why does it matter!? I was drunk! And it was a while ago!” You answered as you waved your arms around in exclamation. 
“It matters cause you are my best friend, and you didn’t tell me you slept with one of our friends! It’s important shit!” Okay, you could see a little bit as to why he would be mad at you. The difference as to why you would not get mad at him for not telling you stuff like this, was because you would end up hurt if he did.
But he doesn’t end up hurt, because he doesn’t feel the same as you do.
“Eddie–”
“And with Steve! Why the fuck did it have to be him!?” Now this part, you didn’t understand.
“Why does it matter if it was with Steve?” He was pacing now, and you couldn’t help but feel confused by his attitude. Why is he so agitated over this? You didn’t tell him you slept with Steve, while drunk off your mind, big deal. He let out a scoff as his hands ran through his face, completely pissed, his nose flaring as he breathed heavily.
“Fuck Kitty, it’s not fucking fair!” You could see his hands shaking as he grunted at each step, and you were now worried. Did you do something you didn’t have to do? Was there something you didn’t know about Eddie and Steve? Some kind of pact or something of the sort? Did you mess up the friendship?
“What’s not fair!? Eddie, you are not making any fucking sense, and–” Your words were cut off as two strong hands held onto your cheeks, and your best friend’s face was inches away from you as he talked through his teeth.
“It is not fair he got to have you like that. It is not fair he had the chance of having you first. It is not fair he got what I’ve been wanting, for fucking years.”
And your words were knocked out of your lungs, as well as your air. 
There was no way he said that.
Because why would he?
But he just did, didn’t he? You weren’t deaf, you heard it–
“What?” Your voice was so small, and Eddie noticed, wincing slightly as he pulled away from you, letting go of your face and you immediately realized you spoke, and that he might have taken it as rejection but– what is going on?
You were frozen in your place, looking at how he backed away, running his hands all over his face as he started pacing back and forth, not even glancing at you as he took a few breaths in. You on the other hand, felt your heart in your throat, beating constantly, furiously, feeling as if you were going to pop a vein here and there for how strong you felt the pumping of your own blood course through your whole body.
You saw how he started to slow down his pacing, standing in one place, a meter or two away from you, and his eyes found yours. You could feel fear, sadness, and embarrassment in those eyes, all in one place, in those irises. 
“I– I really didn’t want to do this… this way…” He scoffed at his own words and shook his head with a fake chuckle on his lips. “Fuck, I didn’t even know I was ever going to do this.”
You were just speechless, feeling your eyes burning because it all led to what is obvious… But he never showed it in his life, so you don’t understand, it is not processing in your head as it should.
“Do… what?” It was a choked whisper, the best one you could master at this moment because your throat was just closed up, non-working. Your brain was a jumbled mess as it tried to put a puzzle together that you never thought was there to begin with.
His eyes darted towards you and then out the window as he licked his lips, thinking about his next words carefully. 
“You– You are my best friend… The fear of losing you is greater than any other feeling I hold inside.” He was struggling, you noticed the nervousness, the twitching of the tip of his fingers as he scratched his cheek.
“You won’t–”
“You can’t say I won’t lose you. I say these three words, and I won’t be able to go back, and you won’t be able to either. I’ve been holding them back for ten years, I can keep going if it means I get to keep you.” 
Three words. Three. Are those the same three words you hold dear? Those three words you’ve been fighting against for so many years? Three simple words but yet that can cause so much pain if you don’t receive them back? 
Could it be? 
Your mouth opened and closed, and you felt a tear rolling down your cheek, it was inevitable, and you saw how Eddie’s shoulder slumped down, his eyebrows knitting together in the middle in a frown. Sadness.
You had to speak. You have to fight the thrumming of your heart and the warning signs your brain is throwing your way to stop you. But Eddie and you already share one feeling. Fear. So what if there are other feelings you both share? Equal feelings?
“S-Say those words…” You pushed, you needed to make sure, you needed to hear them, you needed that happiness you never thought you would get with him. He shook his head once and twice, biting the inside of his cheek.
“No. I won’t. I can’t lose you Kitty… I can’t.” Your heart was ablaze because of nerves, of impatience, and of hope. You took a shaky breath in, your fist clenching and unclenching in order to hold back your own words.
“I– Please say them…” And as Eddie looked at you, you could see how his features softened and relaxed into a surprised expression, as if looking at you let him solve a riddle in his head. His adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he looked at you, swallowing, and you felt your bottom lip trembling, your eyes burning, your body almost shaking with anticipation.
You saw how his chest moved up and down in a quick manner, giving away how heavy his breathing turned. Your eyes were connected to his, trying to let him know, trying to make him have that courage to make the first step you are not confident enough to take. And then his shoulders relaxed, his features doing the exact same, and as he looked at you with glossy eyes, he opened his mouth to finally take the leap.
“I love you.” 
Silence overtook the two of you as the words sank. He loves you, and not as a friend. He loves you as a woman. He loves you as a partner. He loves you as much as you love him. He loves you. He loves you.
A sob ripped from your chest and you slammed your hand on your mouth, feeling new tears streaming down your face, but a smile was hiding behind your palm as you choked on another sob. Eddie’s face turned into a worried one as he took a step towards you, his hands ready to reach out for you and then you started giggling.
You couldn’t believe this. Were you that blind? Were you this stupid? Or maybe it was the two of you? Why were you the only one to blame when he also held these feelings for so long? You’re best friends for a reason, and this is the greatest example of it all. Pining for eachother since teenagers, evolving into love, and never giving any hints of it to one another. Not even flirty compliments, or insinuations.
You couldn’t help yourself as you kept giggling, eyes closed as one hand was over your mouth while the other gripped your stomach. Eddie was absolutely worried now, thinking you were losing your mind. All these years, you two could have done something about your feelings, but your insecurities fucked up your brains because, if it hadn’t, maybe one of you would have noticed something.
“This is so fucking stupid!” You yelled out loud, still laughing and Eddie only frowned as he straightened up, his arms crossing over his chest.
“Nice to know my love for you is stupid.” That made you stop laughing, only to look at his pissed-off frown and for you to burst into laughter again. The tears never stopped coming down, feeling your heart flying into the sky as you also felt the need to bang your head against a wall, repeatedly.
“I– I promise it’s not that!” You were trying to calm down, taking deep breaths in and out as you kept watching him. He wasn’t laughing, just staring at you with a hint of sadness, anger, and confusion. All together, which only prompted you to snort, another laugh threatening to come out. You raised your hand up to stop Eddie from lashing out. “Sorry!”
“Sorry? I confess my love to you and you laugh in my face. Do you even know how hurtful and disrespectful that is?” You could feel his words holding some truth, but you knew he was also finding the situation kind of comical. You waved your hands in front of you, small giggles escaping you still.
“You don’t understand, I can’t believe we are this stupid.” You snorted at the word and Eddie’s arms uncrossed, tilting his head to the side in wonder, an eyebrow raised up in question.
“Why are we stupid?” And you couldn’t help but start laughing again as new tears rolled down your cheeks, happiness just exploding from every part of your body.
“I mean, we were in love with eachother all these years, and we never knew? We really are fucking stupid Eds!” Your giggles stopped after those words came out of your mouth. Your eyes slowly found his as a ringing in your ears started being really loud, almost hurting you. His eyes were wide, incredulous, his arms dangling on the sides of his body.
“You– You’re in love with me?” His mouth was agape, staring at you with a perplexed expression as you felt your heart about to combust, only for him to start cracking up as well, slamming his hands over his face, his laughter bouncing on every wall of the room, and you couldn’t help but join him in it.
You both now know you are idiots, absolute fucking morons and you cannot believe you wasted all this time being only friends when you could have been more. The feelings were one and the same. The jealousy. The anger. The hopelessness. The yearning. The happiness. The need. The love. 
He let his hands drop from his face, a last shake of his head as he looked back at you. Your giggles slowly stopped, and you wiped the tears away from your eyes. This was real now. This was happening for you, for him, for your future. He took a step forward and the nerves were back all together. 
“Can’t believe we didn’t see it at all… I– honestly didn’t think I would ever have a chance after you signed that contract Eds…” You averted your gaze towards the floor as you took various breaths in, trying to control yourself again, center your mind back into reality, and push the shock away. He sighed at that, shaking his head once more even if you didn’t see him.
“I never thought I had a chance. I just thought and still think you are way too good for me sweetheart…” He cleared his throat as you frowned at that and looked up at him to hear him better. “I honestly… I had a bit of hope when I signed the contract. I thought I would finally be– good for you.” 
Your heart stopped and sunk into a deep sea, going to the darkest bits. Eddie felt that way with you? That he wasn’t good enough for you? That he had to be someone else in order to feel that he had a chance with you?
“Ed–Eddie, I didn’t care for that… I still don’t– I thought that you were the one out of reach… I– What chance would I have had with a rockstar that–” You didn’t want to finish that phrase. It was too embarrassing, but how could you not? How could you not compare yourself to all the women Eddie had after signing that contract? The models, the singers, the influencers… It was impossible not to do so.
He seemed to realize the doubt on your face because his features softened as he took a step closer to you, the tips of your shoes touching as he stood right before you. He scratched his cheek as he tried to find the next words.
“Well… we aren’t out of reach anymore… are we?” And your eyes found his, your heart in your throat as he licked his lips and you knew what was supposed to happen now. But–
“What if it’s weird?” He blinked two times before tilting his head and you wanted to drown in embarrassment.
“What would be weird?” His voice was a tone lower than before and it made you tremble a little, goosebumps rising on your skin.
“Well– We know eachother since we were ten… What if you find it weird to kiss me?” And it almost looked like Eddie could not believe what you were saying. 
“Sweetheart… I’ve been dying to kiss you since I can even remember.” You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks burn up, looking down with a small smile on your face. He bit his bottom lip and cleared his throat, making you look up at him once more. “We’ll just see where it goes, how about that?”
You were afraid of that because what if it really happened that he would back out cause he felt it too weird for him? Or what if you weren’t of his expectations? What if you let him down? But you would never know unless– 
“Okay…” The word ‘nervous’ runs a little short of what you were feeling. You had your own expectations of this moment, but you knew he would fill every single one of them and exceed them. Now for you? You weren’t so sure. 
“Trust me Kitty…” He gave you a nervous, yet charming smile as he finally invaded your space and leaned. You closed your eyes and waited, feeling your whole body about to collapse. You expected his lips on your lips, but you felt them on your cheek. You opened your eyes with confusion plastered in them to see Eddie grinning.
“Eds…?”
“Weird?” You giggled at that, feeling your nerves slowly leaving you.
“Nope.” He smiled as he guided his lips towards your other cheek, placing another kiss there. You two have shared kisses on the face before. Cheeks, foreheads, nose… All innocent, and now, the kisses had a completely different meaning.
“How about that?” You rolled your eyes at him and shook your head, and your heart was already thrumming with impatience instead of nerves. His smile faltered a bit but it never left as he finally leaned towards your lips. You took a deep breath in, closing your eyes at the same time he closed his. 
And finally, your lips touched for the very first time.
It was small, nervous, testing, but it still sent an electric shock down both of your bodies. Simultaneously. Your lips fit perfectly against his, and it felt right. It felt so right. He pulled away too soon, but his lips hovered over yours as he opened his eyes to look at you. You looked at him through your lashes.
“Not weird…” You mumbled and he only hummed, his own heart exploding. He tilted his head to the other side and pressed his lips against yours again, this time a little firmer than before. You felt your body craving to wrap itself around him, but you two were testing this new development. You had to be patient, but from the looks of it, it seemed Eddie was also enjoying it like you were.
And there was no lie in that because Eddie felt like he was combusting from how much he felt his body flush. He felt sweat on his fingertips and he just wanted to hold you in his arms, but just like yourself, he needed your green light. He slowly pulled away from that peck, a soft smack being heard in the room as you two looked at eachother again.
“Weird?” He asked in a whisper, and you shook your head desperately as you felt your eyes becoming glossy with need as you looked at him. 
And he dove in. This kiss was harder, deeper, and his hands finally reached out to hold your waist, pulling you closer, and you responded by raising your arms in order to wrap them around his neck, flushing your chest against his, and finally, your lips moved against eachother’s, and it felt magical. 
It felt like that puzzle piece you thought you would never find, but it was hidden in a very small corner, underneath a carpet. His arms wrapped around you, one palm on the small of your back and the other right in the middle. You felt how hot your body was getting but you couldn’t stop yourself, needing more and more from him.
He deepened the kiss even more, pressing you into him, wanting to feel more of you. Your heads moved from side to side, and he was going to be greedy and ask for more. His tongue darted out to lick your bottom lip, making your heart jump and a small gasp escaped your throat, but you opened your mouth to welcome him in.
And you two sighed in pleasure as your tongues clashed together, having a taste of eachother for the first time. You tasted like strawberries and beer thanks to your lipgloss, mints, and the alcohol you two had earlier in the night. He tasted like you always imagined he would. Tobacco, and this kind of minty taste that must be from the flavor sphere inside the filters of his cigarettes. Beer was also mixed in, and one of your hands couldn’t help but scratch the back of his neck for more grip, making him groan into the kiss.
You were surprised by the noise, but a moan escaped your mouth and into his as your breasts rubbed against his chest and his tongue danced with yours. You felt yourself sweating with anticipation, the track of time disappearing as you two melted more and more into eachother, but air was soon needed and you two broke apart, panting onto one another’s lips. His eyes were staring into yours and he gulped as he spoke again.
“Told you. Not weird.” He sounded breathless, and you could feel his heart thrumming in his chest, in fact, you didn’t even know if it was yours. You chased his lips and gave him a soft peck, your eyes half-lidded in bliss. He gave you a cheeky smile as he talked in a low voice. “Already can’t get enough of me Kitty?”
You were flustered, burning, but you wanted to show him how much you wanted him. So you kissed him again, deep, long, and slow. It was loving and filled with the emotions you wanted to shower him with for the past ten years. You pulled away with a small smile on your face as he stared at you, a little taken aback.
“Never going to get enough of you.” And you could see your best friend, this insane rockstar, blushing a deep red on his cheeks and you couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re red!”
His cheeks lose the color, just slightly, and his eyes squint at you, annoyance displayed in his features. Your smile fell down and before you could even speak, he bent down slightly in order to hook his arm around your waist and throw you over his shoulder as he stood up again. You screamed at that movement, your legs flailing a little bit as he walked towards his room.
“Cocky little shit.” He chuckled and in just one minute you were facing the floor, the other you were facing the ceiling as his mattress hit your back, making you bounce slightly. You felt butterflies flying all around inside your stomach as you raised yourself on your elbows in order to look at him.
His eyes were dark as he scanned your body, the dress you were wearing hitched up a bit on the middle of your thighs and before you could say anything, he leaned forward to help you take your sandals off. His fingers grazed your ankles and a shiver ran from your calf to the top of your head. You saw how he took each boot off with the help of the tips on the heels. He looked at you and then finally got on the bed, crawling on all fours on top of you, prompting you to lean back onto the bed.
Your breathing was fast as you looked up at him. Those brown eyes that have been with you since kids, and now, those eyes were looking at you with hunger, but was it really new? He leaned his body down, a bit closer, still not wanting to press his chest nor hips against yours.
“Kitty… We don’t have to do anything–” And you cut him off there with a shake of your head. He might have gotten the wrong idea because of your possible shocked facial expression.
“No, no… I– I want to…” He tilted his head with doubt as he inspected your face which only became hotter and hotter at the intense stare.
“You don’t sound too sure. We don’t have to do this now–”
“Eddie, I want to… God, I want to– I mean, have you seen you? I have a hidden maxi-size poster of your half-naked rolling stone cover just because your pelvis showed…” He snorted at your bluntness but seriously, it was the hottest you’ve seen Eddie look. The V shape with the happy trail going downwards, just where the edge of the cover ended was enough to make you have so many fantasies in the lapse of a minute.
“Alright. Good to know… So, is it just nerves? Cause, I am nervous too… I mean, it’s you… I built this up in my head a thousand times and it’s finally here and honestly? I am kind of afraid of busting in my pants.” You giggled at that, wholeheartedly too and he just kept smiling at you, brushing some hair off your face. You stopped laughing and gulped as shame crept all over your body.
You can trust him. It’s Eddie, and he loves you… He will understand you, there’s no need to be scared. The nervousness and anxiety of laying yourself out there to him didn’t calm itself down though, but you had to reassure him that it wasn’t him at all, nor the fear of it being weird.
“I– I just… do you mind… having the lights off?”
And that seemed to throw Eddie back. His eyebrows came to the middle in a confused frown as he looked down at you, trying to understand you. You looked away from him and you felt your eyes glossing over as more embarrassment came over your body.
“Kitty, I– Why do you want them off?” He will respect you, always, but he wants the answer out of your lips to make sure he hadn’t done anything to make you think he didn’t think you were at least pretty, but he always complimented you. Obviously, friendly compliments, not telling you the actual amount of things he wanted to say to you.
“Um… I– Well… um… I am different from all the– flings you had in the past two years…” You couldn’t look at him. You sounded so stupid, so little, but you had to be honest with him. You don’t want to have a terrified look on your face just because you pushed yourself to do it with the lights on. Eddie blinked a few times, his head shaking softly.
“Come again?” You cleared your throat, feeling as if it were closing up slowly. You have no smooth skin or toned body.
Adiposities, cellulite, stretchmarks, stretched skin, textured in every place you could look at. 
“I’m… nothing like those girls– those bodies, I don’t–” You didn’t want him to look at your body. You aren’t insecure, not always… but you know who Eddie slept with, and the insecurity with him is on another kind of level.
Eddie was stunned as he looked down at you. You compared yourself… and maybe all this time you had been doing so, and he never noticed. Were you hurting in some kind of way? Was he the reason you weren’t confident enough to talk to him about your feelings towards him? 
You gulped as you looked at him when you didn’t receive any answer. He seemed concerned, deep in thought, and you wondered if you had already driven him away with just your mere words. You opened your mouth to talk but he was faster.
“You think you are inferior to them?” His eyes were filled with confusion and some type of sadness, making you frown with worry, but he kept talking before you could even ask. “Sweetheart… Kitty, oh my god…”
You blinked a few times, trying to understand his facial expressions that were changing every second. From angry, to confused, to incredulous, to sad… you weren’t understanding what was going through his head.
“What is it?”
“What is it? Fuck… I don’t want to be blunt, but I feel like if I’m not you won’t understand one single bit of what’s going on in my head so…” He cleared his throat as a blush spread on his cheeks while looking down at you. “You have no idea how many times I popped a boner with you.”
That was not something you expected to hear, not right now, and certainly not from him.
“What?” He groaned followed by a sigh as he kept hovering over your body. You could feel the heat of his body radiating towards yours, and you could feel your blood rushing to your face, or probably your head.
“What I said. I popped a boner many times, even when we were at your house watching Sleepaway Camp and you had those pajamas on that had kittens all over… I covered my crotch with a pillow.” He chuckled to hide his nervousness but your mind was still trying to work out what he was saying.
“I– Pajamas?” He looked into your eyes and he gave you one slow nod.
“And don’t let me get started on the pool parties. One piece, two piece… Even when you didn’t even take anything off, and fuck– This sundress? I had to tuck myself when a little bit of wind helped me see the back of your thighs… Just the back of your thighs darling!” He was exasperated now, his eyes wild as he rambled but your mind had shut off.
You? You got him worked up? Today? And before? Even when in the most clothed situations? He looked your way? 
“Really…?” Your voice came out smaller than what you intended but you couldn’t help it. You were feeling emotional, this revelation trying to sit in your brain as it tried to push the possibility of Eddie actually being attracted to you after the women he’s been with away. His eyes softened and he moved a hand towards your cheek to caress it in a soft manner.
“Really. You drive me absolutely insane…” His eyes turned slightly darker and you noticed the air around the two of you change, shift into something that made you feel a little light-headed. “Will you let me show you just how insane you make me?”
And your body went limp at his question, a hunger in the eyes of your best friend that you never thought would ever be directed to you. 
But maybe those eyes were always there, just not when you were looking. Glances he stole at you at prom after picking you up himself and going together. His eyes scanning your body when you appeared in a long shimmery dress for one of his first award shows, something that made people speculate you two were dating, but then the paparazzis did their job to dismiss that. 
Feelings mixed with pure desire and lust that felt wrong to even experience. He watched you become a woman right before his own eyes, growing up together, graduating together after two failed attempts on Eddie’s part, and even with the different future paths, you a veterinarian and he a rockstar, you never lost touch.
But now… now there is no need to feel guilt. No restraints because the line was already crossed.
So you gave him a slow nod despite the nervous look on your face. Is there a possibility for Eddie to want you just as much as he says he does? More than Megan Fox? Than that chick from that rock band that opened his shows and that is exactly like him and a better match? How is there even a chance?
Your thoughts came to a halt as you felt his face lowering in order to take your lips with his, your mind short circuiting as the kiss wasn’t shy at all like the previous one. It was instantly deep, passionate, and desperate. Teeth almost knocking with eachother as your heads moved from side to side, your arms wrapping around his shoulders wanting to feel him closer.
He chuckled into the kiss, and he pulled away with a soft smack of the lips, a confused whimper escaping your lips to then gasping when his head ducked even further and his kiss was now on your neck, on your pulse point. 
“You have no idea how much I have wanted to mark you. All the guys that flirted with you, or were your hookups… I just wanted to mark your neck so that they would back off.” He mumbled on your neck and your eyes widened at that, your thighs rubbing against eachother below him for some friction.
And you would be lying if you didn’t think of doing the same. The roaring of the word ‘MINE’ whenever a girl got close to Eddie back in school was insanely big inside your head. But as the years went by, that voice only got softer, slower, until he told you the first fling he had after the contract was signed. That voice said a few last words before disappearing, ‘Maybe he is not mine, and never will be.’.
But now– It’s back, and stronger than ever.
“Then mark me Eds… But–” And it was risky, but you wanted it, you needed it, you needed everyone, absolutely everyone to know he is yours. “Only if you let me mark you back.”
And his kisses stopped, surprised by your boldness, the jeans straining a little more to the point of it being almost painful. Is he going to get yelled at by Joyce and Wayne? His two managers? Most likely. Does he care? Not a fucking chance. Not now, not ever. A smile formed on his lips as he mumbled against your skin.
“Deal.” And his lips pressed again against your pulse point. You were afraid of your sounds, but a moan almost got out when his lips pressed pecks until you felt him sucking on your skin. He was going to make sure to brand you as his. For real. His breath was heavy as he inhaled with his nose, loving the taste of you and how your nails dug into his nape and the other pair onto his shoulder.
He repeated it, three times to be exact, leaving you with deep red marks that went downwards a bit. He pulled away to look at his art, a smile on his lips as he saw how dazed you already looked as you tried to level your breathing back to a normal pace. You looked beautiful like this, and he was opening his mouth in order to ask if you were ready to keep going, but you broke silence first with a giggle.
“It tickled.” His heart only clenched a bit more at you, thinking that you couldn’t look cuter, or more endearing than you were now, but you always surprise him, don’t you? He smirked as he leaned forward, nose touching with yours, making your giggles stop completely.
“Can you stop being adorable for a second? I’m trying to be sexy here.” You really didn’t know if you had a face anymore because you just felt it combust in flames. He chuckled at watching your expression, even if his own matched with yours. “Can I keep going?”
You gulped and slowly nodded, but his eyes started tracing your neck and going downwards. You wondered what was going on and then they finally landed on your sundress. His hand raised to press against your waist and his eyes met with yours once more, pupils completely dilated with desire.
“Eddie?”
“Kitty… Can we keep the lights on?” Your heart stopped at that, your hands clenching on his shoulders and you felt your whole body break into a cold nervous sweat.
“I– I thought we were still going to keep the lights off–” And he shook his head, his eyes looking down towards the top of your sundress, a feral side of him coming to light and that he never thought he wouldn’t be able to control it when it came to you.
“We’ll do whatever you want but– Baby, I want to see the body I’ve been craving all these years. I want to see every detail, even a freckle I might have missed, or a mole in a place that I never thought I would see before…” You saw how his eyes traveled all over your body, the hand on your waist giving a press every now and then when his eyes landed at particular places.
You could feel it, even in the midst of your anxiety, that desire that wants to eat you alive, inch by inch, and your own need grows from it. His eyes are not lying, his body language is not lying, his touches, his words, his overall energy, are not lying to you. He wants you. Eddie wants you and has always wanted you. 
And that brings you an ounce of confidence. Even if small, it was enough to take the first step–
“Okay…” And his eyes snapped back towards yours, his uneasiness overlapping with his excitement.
“No– No, we don’t have to do something you don’t feel comfortable with because of my selfishness sweetheart–” 
“You– You promised you would show me…” And if you didn’t do the lights now, they would be on at some other point, wouldn’t they? You just had to rip the bandaid off. His head started turning, trying to see which was the best way to show you his true feelings, and he decided on a different approach than what he thought would be the most appropriate one.
He got a knee between yours, nudging on them. You looked down in surprise but followed the queue and parted your left leg away, very slowly, afraid of the sundress driving up even more than before. His eyes weren’t leaving your face though, needing to see your reaction as he pressed his knee against your right leg as well.
Your heart rate picked up, and the butterflies in your belly probably ate your stomach up at this point. You swallowed your nerves as you parted your right leg as well, and he was finally able to get his knees between your legs. He took a sharp courageous breath, letting a nervous sigh out, and pressed his hips against yours. 
You gasped and an electric current shot from your core to every single end nerve of your body. His bulge was harshly pressed against your center, and he groaned at finally having some friction against the strain. He was hard. He was rock hard for you.
His lips found yours in a soft peck, only to then kiss the corner of your mouth as he rolled his hips against yours and for the first time in the night, a little moan escaped your lips. The press was delicious on your clit, but it only was building your need for him, slowly, clouding your mind, your sight, your thoughts.
He groaned onto your skin, almost a growl, as his kisses traveled further into the crook of your neck. His hips kept rolling, getting a little lost in it all, drunkenness from finally having you hitting him at full blast. He sucked on places he hadn't before and he nibbled on the soft skin, making another moan escape you which only makes him twitch.
“You are the only one I’ve ever truly wanted… In every single possible way, you can imagine.” It was a low mumble, but it was enough for you to be able to hear it and for your arms to wrap around him, nails digging into his back, grabbing onto the black shirt, pulling on it at every roll of his lower half. 
He pulled away from your neck and raised himself on his knees, making your arms fall back down onto the mattress. He crossed his arms, reaching for the hem of his shirt and immediately ripping it away and throwing it across the room.
Your eyes widened when you saw his torso, his belly, the happy trail you have fantasized about so many times with, after that stupid magazine cover. His chest, which only had that skull and spider back in high school, was now littered with many random pieces, as well as his arms, even his hands. 
He was gorgeous, perfect, and has always been to your eyes, but now he is not only that but shining as if he were polished gold. Your eyes were all over his belly button and the V shape on his hips, not noticing the eyes that were looking at you with a smirk on his lips. Your eyes went downwards to the bulge on his pants and your eyes widened as you propped yourself up on your elbows to look at it better.
“Holy shit, I thought you were bluffing Eddie!” It wasn’t exactly a bulge… His dick was so hard that you could see the outline of his length as it pressed sideways against the restrictive pants. And–
“Whenever I said I was big, I meant it, and I also repeated it so many times to see if you showed any interest!” He almost yelled in a high-pitched voice which only made you giggle only to stop when you noticed his eyes scanning your every inch, making you gulp loudly. His hand reached down, fingers playing with the hem of your dress.
You two had seen eachother’s upper bodies, but in completely different situations. This wasn’t some nice summer’s day at a pool. He will see everything, and he wants to properly scan you, touch you, feel you. But– Fuck, the images of all those women pop in your head again, comparing yourself to them, their bodies, their futures, their ambitions, and their wealth. 
You close your eyes tightly, waiting for the tug of the shirt in order to help him by lifting your upper body from the mattress, but his fingers let go of the dress, and that warm touch suddenly appears on your cheek. You opened your eyes to meet his. He was giving you a small reassured smile as he looked down at your face, pupils that gave you safety and filled you with warmth.
You noticed his fingers were slightly trembling and you realized that Eddie was just as nervous as you were. He leaned down to press a soft kiss on your lips, making you moan in delight at feeling him this close once more. He chuckled in between and pulled away moments after in order to talk again.
“I compared myself with Steve today.” And your eyebrows raised at that in surprise. 
“What? Why?” He couldn’t help but scoff at your question and he kneeled back up in between your legs, letting you prop yourself up on your elbows. He motioned all over himself and then looked back at you as if it were obvious.
“I am not exactly like him, baby. Steve has no tattoos, wears sunshine clothes, rich boy clothes, listens to pop music, and is a tidy guy… I am nothing like that sweetheart.” You were shocked at those words… Eddie? With who he is now, doubting himself?
“B-But… you– you didn’t have to worry–”
“I know that now… so let me show you just how much you don’t have to worry either. Please…” He was looking down at your face, waiting for a response. Your heart soared into the sky at those words, and despite your nervousness, there was a side of you that trusted Eddie blindly, and it was whispering to you that you should let him. Let him show you what he means by all of that.
So you slowly sit up and cross your arms in order to grab the hem of your dress and before you could say anything or stop, you yanked it upwards, throwing it to the side. Your eyes were not looking at him, not wanting to see the reaction to your body. A body he is not used to having anymore. It’s not firm, or perky, or smooth, markless, spotless. It’s full of those.
Instead, you felt fingers on your chin that made you lift your head up so you could look at Eddie once more. He was smiling softly as he leaned and kissed you, softly and gently. You felt yourself being lowered again, back hitting against the mattress, while one of his hands pressed onto your waist and the other helped with the leverage of moving you down.
His lips broke apart from yours and your body was burning from the small interaction only for a cold sweat to invade you as you saw him straighten up again and his eyes locked on your body. The visible part of your breasts above the cups of your bra, your shoulders, your tummy, your hips, and you needed to cover your body, or at least your face to not see his reaction.
But your eyes caught onto the twitch of pain in his eyebrows as he groaned softly into his throat. You could see his jaw clench, and a vein in his neck popping out slightly as he swallowed hard. 
“Eds–?”
“I’m sorry– I can’t hold myself back, I’m sorry.” And his hand quickly went to his jeans, unbuttoning them and zipping them down, a sigh of relief coming out and then, with an almost animalistic growl, he lunged back down on you, his lips taking yours in a ravishing kiss. Hot, rough, deep, moving at a quick desperate pace. You were thrown off at the intensity but quickly reciprocated as the butterflies in your belly exploded in retaliation.
His kiss only made the fire worse and you wrapped your arms around his neck to have something to hold on to as you raised your hips up to meet his, needing some kind of friction. You moaned into the kiss when his bulge rubbed against your clothed pussy. He grunted and bit your bottom lip gently as if to reprimand you for the action. 
His lips traveled south and you expected them back on your neck, but they kept moving, kissing on your collarbone, and then the top of one of your breasts. You gasped and arched your back slightly as his hips kept rutting against yours, slow but still very needy. His lips went to your other breast only to then continue down, kissing your chest and downwards to your tummy, his hips leaving yours as he moved down, sending shivers all over your body and you could feel the goosebumps rising up on your skin.
His hands were now gripping your hips, fingers digging on your skin, dipping into it as if he were clawing into something to keep himself centered. His lips traveled all over your tummy, and your waist, groans leaving his mouth as he bit onto your side, a nibble, causing you to jump. He was being so… needy, and desperate, something you never experienced before. 
He moved upwards again, his lips not leaving your skin, but his body moving up again as one hand traveled all the way towards your back, making you arch it upwards a little bit. You felt his fingers play with the clasp of your bra and he kept kissing over the cups of it, making you mewl a little as you felt yourself clench in anticipation.
“Eddie–”
“Please, let me see more… Please, sweetheart?” His eyes were cloudy in the darkness of lust as he raised his head up, chin resting on your chest with his mouth hanging slightly open. You gulped a bit but you felt a certain power in you that you didn’t think you would feel with him. Some kind of confidence rises up inside your chest. 
“Yeah…” You fully arch your back so he can have more movement to snap your bra open in one movement. You lay back down once he takes his hand out and immediately it grabs onto the strap of your left shoulder to push it down, surprising you by how quickly he was moving, as if he weren’t thinking anymore, just acting.
He makes a cup move out of the way, revealing your perked-up nipple, making you flush a bit in embarrassment but also in arousal, as you feel the cold air hit it a bit. You can’t even think far enough that his lips circle around it, your nipple being sucked into his mouth as his tongue presses on it. His hand was roughly grabbing onto your breast to keep it still and you squirmed beneath him as pleasure filled your senses.
You let a moan out when his teeth grazed the tip of your nipple, and his own satisfaction showed when a groan got stuck in his throat. His hips started moving against you again, the shape of his dick rubbing deliciously against your heat, over and over, destroying your underwear each second it passed but you couldn’t care less. 
With a ‘pop’ he let go of your left nipple in order to raise up and rip your bra off your body finally. Now, without the elastics of your bra, you know your breasts are not in perfect shape, gravity, changes of weight, and the years doing their job with your skin. The stretch marks pronounced around the nipple area, which made you a little self-conscious only for that thought to be thrown out the window when Eddie talked once more, almost in a whine.
“The most perfect pair of tits I’ve ever seen baby, so fucking perfect, jesus christ…” You felt a wave of embarrassment at the dirty talking. You will have to get used to how it makes you feel coming from your best friend’s mouth. But he sounded so delighted as if he were drunk, staring at them, back and forth, trying to decide if he should go for the other neglected nipple but then his eyes hit your surprised ones, and you see how they widen in realization.
“A– Are they?” And he covered his face with one hand to cover up his reddened cheeks. 
“I uh… Yeah, I just– Fuck, I said that out loud, didn’t I?” And you couldn’t help but giggle, making your breasts jiggle a bit at your laughter, his eyes flickering to them instinctively. 
“Well, glad to know that…” And you honestly were. No one has ever looked at you the way Eddie was doing right now, so desperately, wanting to ravish you but waiting for you to give him the green light to do so. The fire inside of you and all over your body needed to be extinguished, and you also had to show him how eager you were for him, your own patience after ten long years wearing thin.
You sat up, looking up at him as your fingers hooked on his boxers and jeans. He licked his lips nervously, his eyes scanning your face as he gulped harshly, his hands moving to go over yours and help you drag down his clothes. 
Your head slowly moved downwards when you felt his bulge forbidding you to move the boxers even lower, prompting you to stretch the elastic even more and your eyes widened when you finally saw him. His cock slaps against his belly, and your face must be one of awe because Eddie had to clear his throat to center you back to reality.
“Um, you okay there?” He tried to say it with a hint of comedy, humor, but he was nervous, just so fucking nervous. 
You two know eachother since kids, and even with that thought in mind, it doesn’t feel weird to be right here with you like this, knowing what the two of you were about to do. But maybe you don’t think the same. Now seeing him completely naked might make you rethink what the two of you were doing, thinking about the past, about what–
He hissed in surprise when he felt your hand over his shaft, your thumb pressing onto his red leaking tip, causing him to lock eyes with you again. You were smiling up at him, an innocent little grin that stirred the lust inside of him and renewed it. He was big in your hand, that you were slowly moving, lazily, feeling the warmth of it on your palm. 
You wanted to dart your tongue out, feeling like being a little filthy, show him how eager and needy of him you were. You were looking at the tip, your eyes clouded with desire, and your mouth started to open, only for Eddie’s hand to press on your cheek to make you look up at him.
“As much as I would love for you to make one of my many wet dreams about you come true, I don’t want to lose the small bit of dignity I have left.” You tilted your head in confusion at that only to be pushed back onto the mattress, making you bounce on it, opening your eyes after you gasped to see Eddie taking off his clothes, and almost falling off the edge of the bed in the action, making you snort, covering your mouth after he sent a glare your way.
“I’m sorry Eds, but– I think you just lost that dignity you mentioned.” You giggled and he growled as he crawled over you, his finger hooking into the elastic of your underwear, yanking it and letting go so it hit against your skin, making you yelp at the 
little sting.
“Don’t mock me now.” Your giggles stopped when you met his dark eyes, just looking down into yours, his head tilting to the side. “Can I keep going or are you going to keep laughing at me? I am on a mission, Kitty.”
Your eyebrows frowned in confusion as you stirred a bit below him. Before you could ask, his face went back to the crook of your neck where he could continue with the soft featherlight kisses and as you were about to close your eyes, you felt his fingers playing with the elastic of your underwear once more, making your breath hitch.
You felt him nibble on your pulse point at the same time his fingers sneaked in, a little bit of self-consciousness filled you when you realized you hadn’t shaved properly, just trimmed, and maybe those women he slept with had the laser hair removal you cannot afford. You opened your mouth to apologize but the words were stolen away when his index finger grazed your clit softly, yet perfect.
“Eddie–” You breathed out, and he only gave a low humming with satisfaction as he felt how wet you were for him. He was twitching, wanting to rub himself on you to relieve himself a bit, the friction very much needed but– he wanted to do this. He wanted to make you come undone underneath him, show you just how good he could be for you, how eager he is to give you pleasure.
His middle finger pressed on your clit, a little harder now, slow and lazy circles being done as your breathing turned into held in moans, and whimpers as your hands gripped his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. Yeah, mark him. Mark him. He wants you to mark him, just like he always had wanted you to do.
“So fucking perfect for me– I’ve always known but fuck–” You whimpered at his words, trembling underneath him as he kept rubbing you, deliciously so. His mouth left your throat to then peck your collarbone and shift a bit lower, his back arching so his lips could land on your left nipple. 
His middle finger ran through your slit, coating it with your wetness before slowly starting to nudge inside. At the same time, his mouth started sucking and flicking your hardened nipple with his tongue, causing you to throw your head back onto the pillow, a strangled moan escaping your lips, making him smile with victory against your breast as his finger was engulfed by your warmth.
He couldn’t help but groan at the feel of you, reaching deep, his dreams and imagination out of the window as you gave another whimper when he pulled his finger out, only to plunge it inside again, easily. He needed to worship you. He wanted to make you cum on his fingers, on his tongue, many times, putting you first above everything, needing to hear you moan his name repeatedly… but your breathy moans make it hard to be patient.
He pulled out of your cunt in order to rub his ring finger along his middle one now, rubbing fast-paced circles on your clit, making your hips jerk against him. He had to bite his bottom lip as he raised himself a bit to look down at your face. Your eyes were clenched as moans started coming out of your mouth, embarrassment no longer in you about those. He groans at the angry twitch of his dick. 
He licked his lips as he slowly started pressing both his fingers inside of you, stretching you, preparing you. You gasped when he got them inside of you in one move, eyes opening to see him looking down at you with a fucked out look on his face. Your eyes were teary because of the pleasure, face, and body burning up in a thousand degrees. 
“Eds…” You called him out as he pulled his fingers back out and then in again, the palm of his hand slamming against your clit, making your back arch at it as he kept repeating the action, his pace increasing. You could hear the squelching now, making you slightly embarrassed but the pleasure he is giving you right now completely overshadows it.
“Yeah, baby?” You whimpered at the nickname, loving the way it sounded in his mouth, the nickname you always fantasized about. Imagining his voice saying it to you in random moments, but mostly in these kinds of situations, where he was slowly breaking you apart.
“P-Please–” What were you begging for? You didn’t know. You weren’t that talkative during sex, but… you wanted Eddie to know, or hear you, anything. Just let him know you were feeling good. You gasped a moan out when his fingers curled, the squelching becoming even nastier, filthier, but he was hitting that spot that you sometimes have a hard time figuring out. “O-Oh fuck–!”
“Found it.” He said with a smug smirk as he saw how you clenched your eyes again, moaning louder, one of your hands shooting out to grip the sheets while the other dug into his bicep, tightly. Your legs were shaking as he kept going, his fingers just making you clench around him, your pussy being filled and satisfied.
“I’m– more, more!” He was surprised by your words, not knowing if you were normally vocal or not, but fuck if it wasn’t hot. He groaned as he leaned down to your right nipple, engulfing it with his teeth and giving a soft pull, pressing his palm against your clit in order to move his hand up and down. His fingertips rub your G-spot while the heel of his hand rubs against your clit.
Your eyes widen at the new feeling. It was raw, rough, desperate, and he moaned against your skin as you started fluttering around him, the pressure building in your belly like never before. It was going quickly, a fire that was spreading, not letting you run away. You were almost crying out his name as you kept trembling underneath him. He pulled away from your nipple in order to hover over you, his nose nudging yours.
“You close, love?” You whined at the nickname as your hips met the thrust of his fingers. He gave you a soft kiss, the opposite of what he was doing in the lower part of your body. The elastic band was stretching and stretching, your belly contracting at the pressure. Your moans came out in sharp breaths, chest heaving up and down as now both your hands flew to his shoulders as your back arched against him.
“Yes– Yes– Eddie, Eddie, baby–” And the elastic band snapped while Eddie moaned at the nickname, the first time you called him that and not his name. Your walls clenched tightly around his fingers and he moaned with delight as you spasmed underneath him, his dick threatening to finally shoot his seed, not being able to hold it back anymore, but he held back, with all of his strength.
Your moan was loud, satisfaction rushing all over your body as you trembled, legs giving up almost. You felt his fingers still moving, helping you ride it out, until you slowly calmed down, a few twitches of your legs here and there. It was probably the best orgasm you received… for now. He slowed his movements as he stared down at you, a pleased smile on his face as you opened your eyes to look at him, your breaths heavy.
“So? How was that?” He cocked his head to the side as he gave you one more thrust and you whined at the overstimulation, your hips moving away slightly and he got the clue so he pulled his fingers out of you. You looked at how he took his hand out of your underwear, the wet fingers grazing your pelvis slightly and you looked at how he raised his fingers to his mouth and your eyes widened.
“You–” You couldn’t even finish your sentence when his fingers entered his own mouth. No person had ever done that to you. So eager to taste you that they licked their fingers with so much delight. He moaned at the taste and he cursed at himself for not going down on you. But maybe he can have a small taste…
“Couldn’t help myself Kitty. Needed to know, and I am gonna grow addicted to it, I can already tell.” He raised himself back up on his knees and you looked down to see him still hard, and you winced with embarrassment.
“Let me do something Eddie–” He shook his head at you, his fingers digging into the elastic of your underwear, pulling it away. Your face flushed as you raised your hips up and– He will see it. What if it’s not pretty? What if there’s something he doesn’t like? Or too bushy, or maybe–
But as soon as your underwear is off, and you lay bare beneath him, he can’t help but tremble as his hand reaches his length. The number of times he had imagined you like this, there’s not even a way of counting them. It’s years of imagination, of dreams, of songs he wrote about your body. Songs you might not even know they’re about you. 
You didn’t know what to do as he stared down at you, wanting to close your legs but he was in between them. Your eyes widened when he scanned your body and he started to slowly stroke himself, just soft grazes. Was he touching himself by just looking at you? Did he do that before? Were you the protagonist of some dirty dreams he had?
He suddenly moves backwards, just three small movements with his knees, away from you. You tilt your head as you raise yourself on your elbows to look at him. His body bends down and your eyes widen when his eyes cannot leave your center, wetness all around, and he just looks drunk. 
“I’m sorry, can’t help myself…” It was his soft mumble as he gave a pointed lick in between your folds, and you groaned as your hips bucked towards him. He moaned as he gathered some of your juices, gulping them down and straightening again. 
Your eyes locked again, and the need was worse than it ever was before. The desire burning you both alive. It prompted Eddie to move quickly from in between your legs, his knees guiding him slightly to the side so he could reach over and open the drawer of his night table. You turned your head to watch how he took an unopened box of condoms. 
He cursed when he couldn’t open it from how nervous he suddenly got. He was finally going to get what he had always wanted, and now that it’s here… His thoughts were cut off when he felt your soft hands engulfing his, taking the box in your grasp, thumb pressing onto one edge to pop it open. 
He gave you a smile, a fond, caring one, and took the box once more, pulling a foil out. He moved again, his hands gripping your knees that had closed slightly, reopening them with a tut as he placed himself in between. You looked at how he ripped the foil open with his teeth, throwing it somewhere, and then rolled the latex over himself. 
Your heart was on your throat now, knots of nerves inside of your belly, needing to simply detangle or explode. He looked down at you and crawled on top of you, his forearms coming to rest on either side of your head in order to support himself over your body. His nose nudged yours, a hum vibrating in his throat.
“You okay princess?” He asked and you sighed in delight, giving a small nod.
“Yeah… you?”
“I’m fucking nervous.” He admitted, no playfulness in his tone and it surprised you. “But I am also very excited.”
And you decided to be the one to diffuse the tension a little bit this time. You raised your hips and rubbed your center along his shaft, coating it with your wetness, making him groan and raise an eyebrow at you. A smirk played on your lips as you looked at your best friend.
“I can feel that alright.” And Eddie’s lips turned into a smile, his eyes filled with love just as much as yours were. One of his arms left the mattress to get in between you two, grabbing onto his cock, and rubbing the tip of it against your folds and clit, making you whimper. 
“Bratty little shit.” And his hips pressed in, his arm returning to the same position as before, and your mouths fell into an ‘o’ shape, a choked breath in your throats as he slowly thrusts himself inside of you, inch by inch. 
Electricity ran all over your body, on every nerve and artery, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You could feel it everywhere, every single thing in the world making sense for some reason. You didn’t care about anything else but him at this moment. Him and how he felt as he slowly filled you, finally, after so long. Your legs raised up, thighs pressing against his sides as the heels of your feet dug into his hips.
He moaned when half of his cock was already inside of you and he cursed when he felt himself twitch. He had to hold it back for a little longer, he needed this to be perfect. He needed to make this last, though, he knew this wouldn’t be the last time. He hoped it would be the first time of many.
His lips desperately pressed against yours as his hips kept pressing in, deeper and deeper and you wondered how much you could possibly take as he stretched you open, your wetness making it all a little easier. There was a small pressure, a little sting at the sudden intrusion but it was still so delicious.
Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you kissed him back, hands moving to his hair and you remembered the bun he had on. It was a little loose, and you wanted to see his mane all over his face, just like the Eddie you had been pining for since high school. You needed to see him like that as he made you scream his name.
Your fingers dug into his ponytail and started to yank, trying not to rip his hair when doing so. He winced a bit in between the kiss and you giggled, having some trouble in freeing his hair. He groaned and pulled away from the kiss, his hips stopping as his arm reached up and swatted your hand away in order to take the hairband off himself. 
You heard a few hairs being ripped out and you winced at the sound but he didn’t care as his curls fell down. Your eyes softened as you finally saw your Eddie. You loved his hair up, but… his hair down just reminded you of the first time you looked at him with different eyes. It was when it was getting longer after deciding to never let anyone give him a buzz cut ever again.
“Happy?” He asked and you giggled, his hair now all over his face and shoulders, falling on your face as well, making your cheeks tingle. You moved your hands to gather it up and pull it all over to one side only. He shook his head at you, fond eyes and a smile directed your way. “You shouldn’t have taken it off. It will be a little bothersome.”
“I wanted to… Your long hair is one of the things I love the most about you…” He tilted his head to the side as his eyes filled with confusion. 
“My hair?”
“Yeah… When you decided to let it grow, it’s when you turned into… you.” You smiled up at him, eyes filled with love and stars and he could see them all as his heart combusted inside of his chest. 
He can now truly absolutely believe that you were meant for him. No woman could make him feel the way you do. You love him with everything in you, he can see it in your eyes. You have loved him before his fame, and he cannot be more grateful to destiny for bringing you into his life. He will never be able to say thank you enough.
But his feelings made his body twitch, a sudden electric shock sent to his whole body as his hips moved by themselves. Your smile slowly vanished as your mouth fell into a breathless moan, eyes widening as he stared down at your face and how it slowly contorted. He needed to be fully inside of you, his feelings making his body take what it has been craving for so long.
You gasped as your head was thrown back against the pillow when his hips suddenly slammed against yours, making him bottom out and fill you entirely. He was big, a definite stretch, but god it felt wonderful. Right. Meant to be even as your back arched against him, his lips falling to your exposed neck, groaning against your skin as he kept himself from moving, letting you adjust and for his mind to help him not end this as soon as it started.
Your nails were digging into his shoulders for some grounding, your mind and heart racing and you felt everything a little too much. You gave a small groan as you pressed your back against the mattress once more, and his face raised up from your neck in order to look down at you. 
“I love you.” His words were not new, not anymore, yet they made your heart skip many beats now. The butterflies in your stomach exploded and you gave him a small smile. You opened your mouth in order to reply only for a moan of yours to occupy where your words should have been as his hips moved backwards and in again. 
“I– I love you Ed– ah!” You couldn’t even finish it correctly because as the first letter left your mouth, his movement quickened just a bit. His hips swayed back and forth, moving slowly still but you felt the drag of him against your walls. His face lowered, his elbows on each side of your head, his forearms and hands holding onto your head, fingers running through your scalp as he used that hold to keep himself up and for his hips to move faster.
His lips were against your cheek, and now the hit of skin against skin started being heard and you felt your whole body flush in embarrassment, or pleasure, or a mix of it all. Suddenly his breath hit your ear as he groaned at each thrust of his hips. He felt too good, and you felt your mind drifting away, further from consciousness, until you heard his words again.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
He kept repeating them in your ear at each thrust his hips made, his fingers on your scalp as his chest rubbed against yours. You moaned when you felt his tip just graze your g-spot but not quite there yet. Your nails ran from his shoulders and down to his back, scratching him, and your eyes opened when you realized you hadn’t done your part of the deal yet.
So you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck as your nails dug even deeper into the skin and your mouth opened. Your lips latched onto his skin and he groaned, hips stuttering slightly at your possessiveness of him. He could feel the burning in his back and now, the one on the side of his throat as you marked him in two places of his body.
You knew he liked to get shirtless in his concerts, of course you did… And he can’t wait to show everyone, his fans, his band members, his team, his staff, what you did to him. What you are to him. What he is to you. To finally show everyone who owns him, in body and soul.
He felt you nibble, suck, lick, kiss, and he knew it was going to be a big mark, just like the one he left you. He pulled away from your ear and raised himself up on his hands in order to look down at you. Your eyes were glossy, just like your lips which are also plump from all the kissing you’ve done to his skin. He wants to devour you, a fire that had always been there, but now it was scorching hot, almost painful. 
So why hold back?
His hips draw back and strike against yours in a forceful thrust. It was deep, so fucking deep, that he couldn’t help but groan, almost growl at your tightness. A choked moan escaped you from the surprise and the sudden punch to your spongy spot. Your eyes met his, now clouded in a dark cloud of pleasure, hints of love and devotion here and there, but you could see that he needed to ruin you, take what is his.
Your fingers are on his biceps now as he literally, absolutely, starts railing you into the mattress, like a madman, as if it were his first time ever. Reckless, sloppy, harsh, but still perfected. The bed made the both of you bounce, helping the movements, and your moans turned into whimpers and cries of his name.
“Eddie–!” You didn’t even notice that drool was coming out from the corner of your mouth, not noticing how long you had your lips parted for your moans to come out. You saw how intensely he was looking at you, as if he were to try to remember each trace of your face. Nervousness invaded you as well as some kind of self-consciousness, not knowing if your face was scrunching too much due to the pleasure, making your eyes avert away.
“Oh no, I’m having none of that.” You felt his hand grip your jaw and turn your head so he could look at you once again. Your cheeks were on fire, and you could swear tears were beginning to threaten to leave your eyes. His hair was all over his shoulders, moving at the pace of his hips, sweat on his forehead and tattooed chest. He was gorgeous. He was so beautiful that it hurt.
Your moans were still coming out steadily out of your lips until his hips shifted, just slightly, and his thrusts were now in a more upward direction. Your G-Spot was being punched by the tip of his cock and your belly was turning deliciously at each movement. 
He wanted to prove himself. He wanted to prove to you that he is the only one you will ever need, that he is the only one that can make you feel this good. He took his time fingering you in order to know where your spot was correctly. He has a lot to learn about you, and you about him, but there will be other times for that. 
For now, he just wants to see you come undone underneath him.
“F-Fuck–Fuck!” Your right hand was holding the wrist that held your face, while the left one was still gripping his bicep. You wanted to scream, the pleasure being too much yet not enough, trying to reach that high once more. A smile appeared on his lips, and you dared to say that it looked evil, cheeky, snarky, cocky.
“Weird?” And that bastard– He was mocking you. He was mocking you for ever thinking that this would feel weird for the both of you, considering the years of friendship. You growled a bit at him, a warning which only made him chuckle as he kept pounding into you, a particular drag making him groan.
“S-Shut up!” And oh you sounded so amazing like this. Breathless, needy, frustrated, pleasured… It was a mixture of everything, and he needed more as he felt his dick twitch inside of you. He hasted his movements and you could only whine in question as your confused, glossy eyes looked up at him. 
He groaned with displeasure as he pulled out of you and let go of your face, kneeling up and moving backwards slightly. His hands came to your hips, and he motioned for you to the next position he desired, which made the blood completely leave your body. 
He wanted you on all fours. He would have a perfect view of everything. Every single spot of texture, every stretchmark, all of your cellulite… just everything. And the lights are still on. Fuck they’re still on. Your hands were not fast enough to stop him from using his strength in order to turn you around on the mattress, your legs flailing as you were now on your belly onto the mattress.
You opened your mouth, embarrassment already too deep, afraid of even turning your head to look at him. You didn’t want to see the scrunch on his face when he looked at your skin. You are no professional model, and you certainly don’t have the money for all the treatments they can afford on their skin. 
But what you didn’t expect was the ferocious bite you received on your left ass cheek, making you yelp. He was behind you, his hands digging on your hips in order to pull your ass up, getting you to press your knees on the mattress and finally be in a formal all fours. You were almost shocked at how easily he manhandled you, at how quick he was. You slowly turned your head over your shoulder and you clenched at the sight.
Eddie looked drunk as he looked at your behind. He was even stroking himself as he looked at you, careful to not roll the condom off. You were stunned, hands and knees on the bed as he kneeled behind you. One of his hands came to rub your left ass cheek, to then give it a slap, causing you to whimper and jump at the action. 
“Eddie!” 
“Fuck, look at you…” His hand left his dick, and now both of his palms were engulfing your ass, pressing tightly, digits digging urgently into the skin as his face leaned downwards in order to kiss the small of your back and then one cheek. Your face was on fire, but you didn’t know if it was embarrassment or shame anymore… you felt loved. You felt like a goddess. Eddie was making you feel like an absolute goddess.
A bite landed on your right ass cheek this time, gentle but enough to grab some skin and pull gently. He groaned desperately, needing to swallow you whole. You weren’t aware of the state you put him in. He was feral. You were perfect, so fucking perfect and he was gonna make damn sure you knew this.
“Eddie please…” You whined one more time and he gave a small nibble to your ass cheek. He can bite on them a bit more later on. He straightened up and guided the tip of his cock to your sopping entrance, and pushed right in once more. Not slow, yet not fast, just easily.
The two of you groaned with relief as he thrusted a few times, before fully bottoming out inside of you. He growled into his throat as he took a deep breath in and closed his eyes. He is not going to last long, but he for sure was not going to end this without you clenching around his cock.
His hands are now on your waist, gripping your skin in order to guide himself in and out of you, the smacking of hips now echoing once more around the room. He looked at how your ass jiggled underneath him as his hips hit you. He was smirking, a small smack landing on one of your cheeks, making you yelp in between your moans.
He felt you clench a few times, and he cursed into the sky as he had to get a hold of himself so he wouldn’t spill too fast.
“Shit, you’re so fucking tight Kitty– You gonna cum for me?” A dumb ‘Uh-Huh’ was heard from you as you nodded as best as you could. Your arms and legs were trembling, the squelching of your juices with his thrusts a little too loud. It should shame you, but it’s the whole contrary now. You want him to know just how wet you were for him. How good he is making you feel right now, emotionally and physically.
“Y-Yeah Eds, yeah, please–” And you didn’t have to ask twice. His right hand left your hip and guided it underneath, reaching your clit with his index and middle finger. You gasped as your belly suddenly turned at the attention. “FUCK!” 
“I know baby, I know…” You whimpered at the nickname as his fingers moved on your sensitive nub, while his dick kept hitting your spot in a perfect rhythm. Your mouth was open, sometimes moans came out, sometimes only drool, but you couldn’t close it. Your pussy clenched around him, making him wince and curse under his breath. “Fucking shit…”
“Baby, baby–” You were warning him and he nodded with determination, his dick twitching inside of you until he saw stars at the same time you did. “EDDIE–!” 
Your walls clenched tightly around him, your legs trembling as your belly exploded with bursts of heat. He didn’t stop the rubbing of your clit, making you choke some moans out, wanting to move away from his grip, but he held you tightly in place so you wouldn’t stop the ride of your orgasm.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck– holy shit–!” And he groaned loudly, almost whimpering at how hard he came inside of the condom. He gave a few hard thrusts at each spurt of his cum, making you whine at the last strides of your own climax. Soon, your walls slowly unclenched, legs trembling ever so slightly, and his hand left your clit.
The two of you were panting, completely breathless from the lovemaking that just occurred. He took a sharp intake of breath as he slowly pulled out of you, making him wince and you whimper at the loss of him. You immediately flopped on the bed, face hitting the pillow. He chuckled a bit hoarsely and took off the condom, tying it off and looking around.
You turned your head in order to catch him in time, a frown appearing on your face as you turned to your side so you could point a finger at him.
“Don’t you dare throw it on the floor.” He raised an eyebrow at you and then a fond smile appeared on his lips. The two of you were covered in sweat, your breaths slowly leveling out again, a sight he never thought would occur. 
“You gonna boss me around in my own home Kitty?” You rolled your eyes at him and he smiled, getting up from the bed on wobbly legs. “Woah–” You covered your mouth in order not to laugh, but he only glared at you as he straightened up once more.
“Sorry–”
“Yeah, I wanna see how you get up from the bed. Come on.” You shook your head and immediately crawled underneath his sheets, covering yourself completely, and hiding from him. He chuckled at that and threw the used condom on his trashcan to then almost sprint to the bed and jump on top of it, making you bounce and yelp on the side you were on.
It made the sheets move away slightly, uncovering you from the waist up. Eddie looked down at you. Your hair was a mess, your makeup smudged… but fuck you were so beautiful. All of you. And you were now his.
“You’re mean…” He chuckled at you and got inside the sheets as well, wrapping his arms around you and flipping you on top of him, making you giggle.
“I’m anything but that…” He bit his lip and then cleared his throat as nerves filled his body once more. He was a rockstar, yet you made him more nervous than any concert he ever played in his life. “Kitty… I want– I want you. Like, I want this to be official.”
And that was the other part of this love that you were afraid of. Official? With Eddie? You?
“I–” You gulped as shame coursed through your body. “I am– no one, Eddie… I am not famous or– I mean, you might lose fans if we come out as official…” 
And when you looked at Eddie’s eyes, you saw them become doe-eyed, a sad frown appearing on his eyebrows, as he looked at your face. A hand came up to push a strand of your hair behind your ear, making you sigh. 
“Baby, I’ve been wanting you for god knows how long… I don’t care what happens to my reputation… and if my fans are truly my fans, they should be happy that I finally got the chick I’ve been singing about for the past two years.” 
Your heart felt like it melted with his words. Your eyes were tracing his face, the shape of his eyes, his nose, his lips. Every expression he did out of happiness or excitement, was because of you now. He definitely loves you, doesn’t he?
“You– Will you show me which songs were the ones about me?” You smile cheekily at him, and he raises an eyebrow at you, grips your hip slightly in warning and you can’t help but giggle.
“Yes, only if you’re mine.” 
And this wasn’t the last you’ve seen about the lack of confidence, you knew that. But there is something you are definitely, most certainly, confident about. Eddie Munson loves you, with everything in him, and wants you desperately.
“Deal.” A cheeky smile appears on his lip and you give him a pointed frown. “Apologize to Steve.”
And his smile faded, tilting his nose up.
“Never.”
You’ve got one cocky little rockstar of a boyfriend.
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end
a/n: orange peel skin is what we call the skin when it looks pitted, formed by cellulite most of the times.
i hope you all enjoyed this little thing (not so little)
always reblog your artists
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bluewxrld07 · 4 months
Text
She's All I Wanna Be (Trevor Zegras)
Trevor Zegras x Reader - Instagram AU
Warning(s): Angst
Summary: Based off Tate McRae's song She's All I Wanna Be :)
dixiedamelio just posted a photo!!
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liked by charlidamelio, mileycyrus, trevorzegras, and 1,250,542 others
dixiedamelio Inner Miley Cyrus Bangerz era.... oh and pc to Z
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user1 ok but her suit slays
user2 anybody else notice she didn't tag Trevor? Little sis if you ask me
user3 We all know they're together at this point. They just don't want to rip the bandaid off
user2 Right? We all know he dumped yourusername to be with Dixie. He's just trying to avoid confirmation
charlidamelio 🦆
addisonrae Bod goals af
trevorzegras 😳
trevorzegras sorry still in awe of u
user4 He doesn't even try to hide it
yourusername just posted a photo!
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liked by jackhughes, yourbff, jamiedrysdale, colecaufield and 1,475,998 others
yourusername you want the girl with the small waist, and the perfect smile
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user1 She's always been so gorgeous I am obsessed w/her
user2 Glad to see a model who has the same body type as me owning it 🥰
user3 Yeeesshhhh Trevor's loss
user4 Why would she post something like this when her body looks like that? It's actually horrendous 🤢
user1 This is what healthy looks like first off? Second off she's a gym influencer who heavy lifts? What's your talent? Tell me her confidence levels are annoying you without actually telling me fr user4
yourbff Currrrves for daysss
yourbff Hottie w/ a body??!
jackhughes Bestie looking fine as always
yourbff um jackhughes bye she's my bff get your own bff since your last one has a trashy looking type jackhughes Shhhh don't expose me like that we don't claim it
trevorzegras just posted a photo!
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liked by charlidamelio, dixiedamelio, alexturcotte, and 1,045,609 others
trevorzegras Obsessed w/ u
tagged: dixiedamelio
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user1 well this wasn't on my bingo card
user2 omg isn't that Charli's sister? I forgot her name. What does she do???
user1 I'm dead, you really clowning her lmfao user2
user3 So much prettier than what's her face
user4 I miss yourusername
user5 It's the fact that she's back to her darker hair? Anyone finding that a little weird?
dixiedamelio All heart eyes for you 😘
yourusername just posted a photo!
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liked by yourbff, jackhughes, tatemcrae, gigihadid, and 2,649,913 others
yourusername if you say she's nothing to worry about, then why'd close your eyes when I said it out loud?
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jackhughes Bring me my matcha latte
yourusername I'd already be there if someone didn't drop it, so we're getting you a new one jackhughes yourbff It wasn't my fault the door didn't announce its presence..... jackhughes only you'd blame the door yourbff
user1 Literally love this girl
user2 Kinda crazy Trevor posts Dixie right after yourusername posted. He also never posted her, so what makes Dixie so different lmao
user3 what’s crazier is that Dixie literally just dyed her hair blonde and cut it so short, to now having dark hair and extensions 🤔
yourbff You look sooo good
yourbff IM obsessed w/ YOU
user4 The shade lmfao crazy
dixiedamelio posted a photo!
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liked by noahbeck, charlidamelio, tanamongeau, trevorzegras and 3,146,098 others
dixiedamelio thanks vanity fair for the fun day 💅🏼
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user1 ohhhh boy…
user2 Yeah it’s scary how much she’s tryna look like yourusername
tanamongeau Wow Dix ballsy as fuck lmao
yourbff interesting.
user3 SO glad yourbff sees it too
user4 Dixie can try to look like her, but she won’t ever be able to lift like her. Bet she can’t lift anything over ten pounds
jackhughes just posted a photo!
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liked by yourbff, colecaufield, l_hughes03, yourusername and 5,973,899 others
jackhughes We can lay on her and she still doesn’t feel a thing. Probably could lift us both with her eyes closed
tagged: yourusername, colecaufield
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user1 I’m living for Jack being on her side during this lmfao
user2 The SHADE LMFAO JACK
user3 Let’s see Dixie try to remake this photo bahahah
yourbff Pretty sure you all fell asleep like that too
yourusername we did lmfao
colecaufield comfiest I’ve ever slept
jackhughes 10/10 recommend
yourbff Writing out the yelp review rn
l_hughes03 I call top next time
yourbff just posted a photo!
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liked by tatemcrae, yourusername, colecaufield and 1,347,856 others
yourbff I was just as amazed as Tate was when y/n lifted me onto her back. Carrying me on her back as well as she did with her last relationship. Stupid boy making her so sad
tagged: tatemcrae, yourusername
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tatemcrae That last line in your caption sounding a little familiar 🤔🤔
tatemcrae But also me next, me next!!
jackhughes I walked in on this
l_hughes03 I walked out on this
colecaufield I wanna be in on this
yourusername you’re all a pain in my ass on this
yourbff We just love you ok
*liked by yourusername, jackhughes, l_hughes03, colecaufield and tatemcrae*
user1 This friendgroup is what I strive to have in life
user2 Dixie kicking and punching air rn
*liked by yourbff*
dixiedamelio posted a photo!
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liked by charlidamelio, trevorzegras, jamiedrysdale, alexturcotte and 4,137,980 others
dixiedamelio all mine plus bff
tagged : trevorzegras, alexturcotte
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user1 Girl keep him lmfao nobody gonna steal him like you did to yourusername
*liked by yourbff*
user2 Nah man not Alex bro rip 🥲🥲
trevorzegras all yours ❤️
charlidamelio He wanted someone he could show off whenever you go out
dixiedamelio I’ll wear a tight mini black dress with all my friends around 💅🏼
user3 ohhhh she PETTY petty
user4 Her and her sister wanna be besties with Tate and yourusername so bad omfg it’s a headache
*liked by yourbff and tatemcrae*
tanamongeau I think I’ve seen similar posts like these somewhere….🤔
yourusername posted a photo!
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liked by jackhughes, tatemcrae, yourbff, trevorzegras and 7,247,113 others
yourusername I’m all she wanna be so bad
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user1 OH NOW THIS WAS A TWIST
user2 Not her turning the lyrics around to call out Dixie oop
tatemcrae lyric change approved 😚❤️
yourusername 🥰💅🏼
yourbff kind of like this version better
tatemcrae Glad I’m not the only one
jackhughes Permission to call you mommy after seeing this post?
yourusername denied
yourbff denied
tatemcrae denied
l_hughes03 Wow you got rejected more than me my Freshman year at Umich jackhughes
colecaufield The better looking ex
user3 It’s the fact Trevor liked the post too I’m dead
*liked by yourbff and yourusername*
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pamsimmer · 3 months
Text
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When I made "Lunar" someone asked for a legacy challenge for human sims. So I finally wrote one!
Since some people don't like big legacies because it takes forever to finish, I made another small legacy! Only 5 gens.
If you know my stories from twitter or my "pamsimmerstories" you know I usually use a lot of adult themes and this is not different, so be aware this can be a little dark.
TW: Spouse death, while giving birth; Drug Use, alcohol and other drugs; Child Abuse, Neglect; Infetility
LEGACY CHALLENGE: "Dream Odyssey"
Basic Rules:
Start as a Young Adult - any gender you want
Normal/Long lifespan (which one you prefer)
You can use freerealestate cheat if you want to begin.
When I put ( / ) is because you can choose what you prefer or if you don’t have said pack you can choose the base game one.
Colors are not mandatory, but it could be fun?!
Requirements: Cottage Living, University, City Living, Nifty Knitting, Horse Ranch, Get Famous, Get Together, Snowy Scape, Island Living, Seasons, Parenthood.
Mods recommendations (Not required):
McCommand Center,
UI Cheats,
Long Distance Learning,
RPO.
Basemantal Drugs
Generation 1: “Dandelions” by Ruth B.
You moved from your parents to live in a big city and go to your dream college (San Myshuno Institute)*. You’ve always wanted to be a doctor/veterinarian and this was finally happening!
One day you met the love of your life in between classes (preferably someone you met that is also at uni) you get married, but one day you caught them cheating and you feel like this is the end of the world.
So you leave everything and go to Henford on Bagley and become a farmer. You meet someone that makes you open up again and you two have a beautiful family.
*if you don’t want to use mods like the ”Long Distance Learning” by Ravasheen, you can just pretend you’re going there living in San Myshuno
Traits: Good, Animal Enthusiast/Loves the Outdoors, The last one you pick, to make things interesting, pick a bad trait like high maintenance
Career: Start as University Student in San Myshuno (you can finish it and start the career or you can just drop university in the middle of your term); End up as a farmer in Henford
Skills: Logic/Vetenerian and Cross-Stitch
Hobby: Cross-Stitch or Knitting
Aspiration: Country Caretaker
Relationship: fall in love at university, get cheated on, runaway to Henford and meet someone new. You can have children with the first one if you want to or you can wait until you meet the second sim. It’s up to you.
Color: Green/Yellow
Generation 2: “High” by Miley Cyrus
You grew up in the middle of a bunch of animals, your parent was a nature freak and you became one as well. But your kind of animal is a bit different from your parent. You love horses and you dream in live at Chestnut Ridge and have your own horse and participate in competitions and earn money from it.
You find love, but when your wife is giving birth to your baby, she dies (your sim could be a woman and you use cheats to make her pregnant and if you don’t use mods as RPO/Pandasama you can also cheat to kill the sim).
[The Sims 4 killing cheats: [death.toggle true - kill your Sim] I've never used it, so I don't know if it really works]
So you see yourself as a single parent juggling between parenting and taking care of your horse and participating of competitions.
Traits: Horse Lover, Rancher, the last trait you choose.
Career: Autonomous as Horse Competitor, you can try odd jobs as well
Skills: Riding, Painting/Nectar Making
Hobby: Painting/Nectar Making
Aspiration: Championship Rider
Relationship: Meet someone, become a widow/er. You can find love again if you wish.
Color: Orange
Generation 3: “No Love In LA” by Palaye Royale
When you were born your mother died and you never met her. Your other parent was always busy with his horses and competitions that you now hate Chestnut.
You want more for your life. As soon as you age up, you go to Del Sol Valley and you’re finally able to follow your dream of becoming a star! You want to be a famous actor/actress. But not everything is like you thought it would be, you thought you would become a 5 star celebrity quickier than you did. But you never give up.
Find a celebrity and get married to them just for fame (I guess you’re gonna need cheats for them to meet).
[Modify Relationship
You'll need the full name of your Sim and the celebrity Sim (or vice versa). If it doesn't work, try " LTR_Friendship_Main" at the end.] (I also never tested this one...but in case you don't have mods, try this)
One day you’re gonna meet someone who’s a nobody and fall in love, you’re gonna cheat on your partner and get pregnant/get someone pregnant.
You have two choices:
leave your spouse and be with your love or
stay in a unhappy marriage and pretend the cheating never happened (if your sim is a male, never talk to the pregnant sim again and one day a child shows up at your door, this is gonna be the heir. And if your sims is a female, pretend the kid is your husband’s child. It doesn’t matter, you’re gonna fail as a parent no matter what).
Traits: Self-Assured, Ambitious, and a bad trait of your choosing
Career: Actor
Skills: Acting, Dancing, Photography
Hobby: Photography and also dancing, go to nightclubs often, drink a lot (if you don’t play with mods pretend your sims is an alcoholic, if you play with mods like basemental your sim is definitely an alcoholic and maybe had a drug addiction, let’s go dark here)
Aspiration: Master Actor
Relationship: Marry for fame and cheat on your partner and get pregnant of impregnate someone this is how your heir is gonna be made.
Color: Red
Generation 4: “Flares” by The Script
Your parent should never be a parent.
You grew up in a spolight because of your parent, but you hate it. Everything is so fucked up and you just want to run away as far as possible.
When you become a teen, you're going to run away from home and go to Mt Komorebi, drop from school and work in a part time job.
To scape your own mind you start a few hobbies such as snowboarding/skiing/climbing.
When you’re young adult you meet someone while doing one of those things and you two fall in love. You two start a family and are very happy.
Traits: Adventurous, Loner, and a trait of your preference
Career: Teen: Part Time Job; Young Adult: Salaryperson
Skills: Two of these: (You can choose: Snowboarding/Skiing/Climbing)
Hobby: Choose two from 3 (Snowboarding/Skiing/Climbing)
Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast
Relationship: Find love when your sim is a young adult and this sim is gonna be actually happy :)
Color: Grey
Generation 5: “Light” by Sleeping At Last
Your parents were loving and you loved Mt Komorebi, but you feel like you need to run away from the cold mountains of Mt Komorebi.
When you grow up you want to live in a summery place, so you choose Sulani.
You fall in love more than once, but your relationships never work. You’re also infertile, but you want a kid so baaaad, so you decide to adopt one after years of trying.
You're going to raise a kid alone, maybe get yourself a dog as well? You want to be the best parent someone could be.
Traits: Family Oriented, Child of the Ocean, and a third trait of your choosing
Career: Any of the freelancer careers
Skills: Parenting, Flower Arrenging/Singing
Hobby: Flower Arrenging/Singing
Aspiration: Superparent
Relationship: All your relationships will fail, no matter how hard you try. One day you finally realize it and just accept that you’re going to be alone and you can be happy like this. Then you adopt a child (could be a baby if you want to) and maybe a pet as well.
Color: Blue
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undead-supernova · 3 months
Text
I'll Pay the Price, You Won't.
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It's a Delicate Need
Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5
18+ minors DNI
Masterlist
plot: you've never met eddie munson before...and even if your reputation's never been worse, desire is the sound of the whiskey and you're prepared for the risk. but are you willing to let it go to waste?
Pairings: modernrockstar!Eddie x fem!popstar!Reader (curvy!reader, bisexual!reader)
Warnings: drinking, mention of weed, there's genuine smut in here so sorry for the length, mention of body shaming
easter egg count: 32
wc: 6.9k
This chapter is inspired by the sound and lyrics of “Delicate” and her unreleased Lover track “Need” that I haven’t stopped thinking about since it leaked. This is one of my favorite things I've ever written and I can't believe I get to share it! Okay, have fun! I love these two so much! (special thanks to @munsonsbtch for helping chill out my frantic screaming about writing smut)
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Late April, 2024
You met him in those weird ways celebrities do. Usually, it’s an award show or some house party thrown by mutual famous friends. For you, it was the Grammy after party.
Corroded Coffin won Best Rock Album for “Fire Shroud” and Best Metal Performance for the title track. (Ozzy Osborne presented their award and you couldn’t believe how jealous you were.) 
You’d won Song of the Year for “Cradle Me”. The night was electric, one that would go down in history for you and your ever-growing career. 
Because you’d done it. You won a Grammy. 
And that was the only reason you decided to even go to the after party, really. You rode the high of your adrenaline, your tears. The squealing and stomping of victory as you basked in a kind of pride you’d never felt before. A kind of pride that you didn’t even know existed.
The room boomed with music, everyone seemingly on the same wave as you. You’d been practically shredding up the dance floor all on your own, taking time to close your eyes and feel a release for what seemed like the first time since you’d started your career. You were on top of your game, on top of the world. Nothing could derail you now. 
As a remix of Miley Cyrus’ “Flowers” came to a close, you remembered where you were. Opened your eyes to look around you as another song sounded, the bass pulsating in your ears.
And despite the noise, everyone noticed when Corroded Coffin walked in.
Even you.
Here they were, all five members decked out in lavish outfits, all five shimmying their way through the parting crowd with drinks held high in the air. If it was anyone else, they’d look obnoxious and lame. But each one of the members of Corroded Coffin acted like real people. They were in sequins, dark makeup, designer suits and dresses…and they were normal. Just laughing their way through the crowd and dancing like idiots.
And that’s when you saw him.
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About an hour after their arrival, Eddie Munson snuck away from the rest of the group. He was at the bar, nursing some whiskey, a smile on his face as he chatted with the bartender. Leaning sideways against the counter with his legs crossed, just lounging as he socialized.
And maybe it kind of seemed a little stalkerish that you were watching him across the room, sipping on your third Shirley Temple—with, yes, copious amounts of vodka—but you were merely observing. 
You weren’t his biggest fan or anything, but you were still fascinated by him. By his effortless charm, the sheer effect he seemed to have on everyone. Some had called him the New It Guy, others had called him a Soon To Be Has Been. But, for the most part, he was considered the man of everyone’s dreams. 
Not only that, but he was genuinely talented. Corroded Coffin was killing it, having reached newer heights. Those Grammys they won? Yeah, they’d already received two the year prior. In the last two years, they’d collaborated with Post Malone, Joan Jett, Bring Me The Horizon, Nova Twins, Amy Lee, Poppy… The list was starting to get rather full from how desirable it was to work with them, especially smaller artists they’d been bringing into the limelight. 
Plus, they were bringing metal to new heights. Tearing down the walls of what it meant to listen to metal and defying how it was “supposed” to sound. And you could go on and on about their lyricism, the way that they wrote about more than just testosterone-driven rage. They talked about mental health, about heartache. Addiction. Loneliness and the way isolation stung. Even the intense weight of fear that comes with falling in love.
They were raw. They were real.
And you kinda wanted to talk to Eddie Munson.
He was alone, for God’s sake. Just a sitting duck by himself, clad in that outfit. The sequins on his blazer casted light over his cheek, reflecting off of the LED lights. His blazer was a deep eggplant, all velvet and cool and fitting perfectly tight against his toned muscles. There were patterns of small black roses strategically placed throughout. Not enough to be overwhelming, but enough to give the drama. 
Oh, yeah. One more thing.
No. Shirt. 
Just his lean stomach with an attention-grabbing happy trail that led to his incredibly tight leather pants. The color even matched his blazer. Combat boots. Rings adorning his fingers and some black nail polish. Layers of diamond bracelets and chains resting against the dark ink of his tattoos. A guitar pick at the center of a black velvet choker around his neck.
Yeah, you really wanted to talk to Eddie Munson.
For a second, you stared down at yourself. You had a momentary lapse in confidence, wondering if what you were wearing was acceptable for a metal lead. Because you were clad in a silk knee-length dress, blush pink. One that hugged your curves and twirled around you wherever you moved. It was Old Hollywood. It was graceful. It was you.
Fuck it.
You approached, handing the bartender your empty glass and kindly asking for a refill. When you glanced over at Eddie in your peripheral, you knew he was being respectful, looking down at his drink rather than you.
It was up to you to deliver the opening line.
“You know,” you started, catching his attention immediately. “you’d kinda look like Lord Farquad if you got a bob.”
Eddie’s eyebrows lifted, trying to stifle a chuckle. “Yeah? You think so?” You nodded and watched as he tried to tuck in the bottom half of his hair to create the illusion of a bob. “‘Run, run, run as fast as you can. You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man!’”
You were right. He kinda looked like Lord Farquad’s taller, hotter, more glamorous brother. 
“That is perfect,” you said, slow clapping. “Brilliant.”
He laughed, moving his whisky as a subtle invite to stand next to him. “I’m glad you think so. I’m Eddie, by the way.”
You smiled, telling him your name, watching as he nodded. He was wearing some eye shadow, all deep purple and bruise-y. He seemed to have had a coat of lipgloss on that was now lining the rim of his glass, with only a slight residue remaining. It was still effortlessly beautiful. He was effortlessly beautiful.
“Yeah, I actually know who you are.”
Your eyes widened. He knew you? 
“I didn’t think it was your genre,” you said honestly.
Eddie shook his head. “Nah. Come on, give yourself a little credit. ‘Tetris’ had a bit of a rock vibe to it.”
“Yeah, true,” you agreed, rolling your eyes. That was a single from your last album, one that hadn’t even gotten much traction from audiences. “But it’s nothing like A Rush of Hellfire.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shot up again. “You heard our first album?”
Confusion flooded your features. “Well, yeah. Hasn’t everyone?”
“No one talks about it anymore,” he responded, shrugging as he scratched the top of his head. “You a fan?”
“Not, like, a diehard fan or anything, you know? It’s fun to work out to. Or scream in the car. You did that remix with Post Malone. ‘Something Real’, right?” He smiled, nodding. “Yeah, I can’t get enough of it. The original is heavenly, but you guys put a spin on it that made it transcend the meaning and give it an extra boost of emotion that didn’t even seem possible. And your added verse? I mean, it was just so raw and…” 
You stopped yourself, starting to feel embarrassed from practically fangirling about this guy’s music to his face. He may have been actively listening, or was pretending to, but you had to stop before it got to be too much.
“Anyways,” you finished. “I really like it.”
His smile grew and it was like something flutter-y-ish was rushing to your heart. What was that about? 
“I’m flattered,” he said. “Unexpected, but flattered nonetheless.”
“Why unexpected?”
“Well, I mean. Well, your music—I just assumed—”
You laughed at that. “I like way more than just pop. That’s just the music I make, you know?” He gave you another silent nod, making you feel a little self-conscious. “So, I’m guessing you’re not really into my stuff?”
“No, I really like it. I just don’t want you to think I’m a diehard fan or anything. Actually, it’s kinda funny. I saw your cover of ‘Lolita’ by…” he trailed, waving his fingers around in thought until he pointed at you with a smirk. “Lana Del Rey, that’s it. Saw it a few weeks ago. Very cool. I liked the way you changed the sound. It seemed a little sadder than the OG, even with the synth.”
You smiled. You’d done that cover in the BBC Live Lounge to make fun of the way the media portrayed you. A player on both sides, leading everyone on and leaving them high and dry. Being a temptress of some sort, always on your best misbehavior. It was a common story, something that was far from realistic. But the media circus wasn’t about reality. It was about the fantasy.
And a lot of people misinterpreted the song choice as a confirmation of your reputation. It was mortifying. And annoying. Mostly fucking annoying.
And as the bartender handed you your drink, you prayed to whatever God was out there that Eddie didn’t think the same about you.
“I did it as a joke,” you defended sheepishly. “You’ve probably heard about me, but I’m not actually like that.”
And you knew that there was no reason for you to justify yourself to him, especially someone rumored to be a player himself. Eddie was known to the public as someone who collected  groupies like a goddamn claw machine, but it was seen as something desirable. He was hailed as some kind of Metal Prince of Darkness. (Though, you’d never come into contact with anyone who’d actually been involved with him…)
So why were you nervous all of a sudden?
You studied his reaction, the way he barely had one. He just kept smiling like that, this kind of half-smile as if you were the most interesting person he’d ever met. You were sure he smiled at everyone like that.
And if it was a trick, well fuck, it was working.
“I definitely got the joke,” he said, chuckling as your eyes widened. “What, did no one else?”
You shrugged. “Not a lot of them, no.”
“Well, I guess the world is as dense as I thought.” 
You couldn’t stifle your giggle as you lifted your drink to your lips, nearly spilling it on yourself. 
And maybe Eddie thought he was being smooth, but he took a small step forward, closer than he’d been before. “Just letting you know,” he said. “as someone who is also not like that, I thought it was amazing.”
You could smell the tobacco wafting off of his jacket, mixed with something like amber or bergamot. His pinky finger was dangerously close to yours, seemingly inching forward. The closer he got, the easier it was to decode the exact shade of his eyes. Brown had been wrong. No, they were hickory. They were umber. And these hickory, umber eyes were looking at you.
It wasn’t fair in the slightest.
Something in you wanted to call him out because there was something definitely happening between you. Maybe it was a game he was playing, taking shots at your weak spots to lower your defenses. Or maybe it was genuine chemistry, luring you in with a dangerous kind of desire that you’d never felt before. 
It was something you couldn’t even explain to yourself. 
Out of seemingly nowhere, Eddie asked, “Beatles or Stones?”
You snorted. “Easy. Beatles. You clearly haven’t listened to my album.”
“Oh, I’ve heard Acacia My Dear. How could I not?” Your eyes widened. “But I thought you were sane. Guess I was wrong.” He sighed, waving you away. “This has been fun but get out of my sight.”
“Okay, wow. How does it feel to be a loser?” you asked, crossing your arms.
“How does it feel to be wrong?”
“The Stones do not have half of the amount of hits that The Beatles had. Name any Beatles album, which I bet you can’t, and I can tell you the plethora of well-known songs from each one. You can’t fight me on the factual evidence—”
“Do you wanna dance?” he asked suddenly, cutting you off.
You froze, confusion and intrigue colliding inside you. 
“Didn’t you just tell me to go away?”
“As a joke.”
“Are you going to continue to insult my preferences?”
He leaned in just a bit further. “Is that something you’d want?”
“Maybe a little,” you admitted, trying to catch your breath as he took it. “As a treat.”
“I’d be honored.”
Eddie took you to the floor like a gentleman in a ballroom, one arm pressed against his back with the other holding your hand up. As if he was wearing a luxurious tux and you were in a ballgown. As if this was something serious, something more than it should’ve been.
And, god, whatever he was doing was fucking with your head.
Because the two of you started dancing to one of the popular hits of the year, a song you hadn’t cared to listen to. But it didn’t seem to matter to either of you, going back and forth with each other as you moved through the dance floor. Eddie shimmied his shoulders and rolled his hips. You gladly followed his lead.
As the song hit its bridge, he leaned in. “By the way, I don’t know this song.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I don’t either. I’ve been religiously listening to Maisie Peters for the last year.”
He nodded before looking at you with a bit of a sheepish expression. “I don’t know who that is either, I’m afraid.”
“That’s more offensive than your Beatles comments,” you teased.
He rolled his eyes before taking your hands and spinning you around. Laughter fell from your lips easily, finding the sensation quite dizzying.
God, how was his energy so infectious?
He tried to bring you back up, to let go. But you were done for, wobbling in his arms from the dizzy spell coming over you. One of your held hands was placed against his chest, the drumming of his heart nearly matching the beat of the song.
“Woah there,” he teased.
You sighed, your grasp on his hand tightening. “Don’t blame me,” you said. “That was all you.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, you’re right.” When you were stable enough to stand properly and the room stopped spinning, he asked, “Favorite Beatles song?”
You scoffed. “Why should I tell you if you’re just going to make fun of it?”
“You wound me.”
“I have evidence. Exhibit A, five minutes ago you told me my opinion was wrong. Twice.”
“I’ll behave myself.” You raised an eyebrow. “Scout’s honor.”
You decided to answer truthfully. “It changes every day, I think.”
“So, what’s todays?” he pressed. When you gave him a quizzical look, he shook his head. “Don’t leave me hanging over here.”
Your smile returned. “Today, it’s ‘Sun King’.”
“Ah, a highly underrated track from Abbey Road. Mine’s either ‘I Want You (She’s So Heavy)’ or ‘Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?’ from the White Album.”
You couldn’t believe your ears. “You know their discography and yet you disrespect them.”
He wagged a finger at you. “You’re mistaken, young maiden. I never said The Beatles were bad. I said they weren’t as good as The Rolling Stones.”
“I think I hate you,” you said without thinking. Without even knowing how he was going to take that.
But then Eddie’s small smile grew into a grin. “Oh, yeah?”
You couldn’t help but smile back. “Mhm.”
“Does that mean we’ll never speak again?”
“No,” you admitted, showing him your cards. 
Eddie smirked. “Good.”
Apparently, he was showing his, too.
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Another drink and a round of bickering later, you and Eddie were promptly interrupted by a rumbling of voices calling out to you.
Well, not you.
“Ed!”
The two of you turned and watched as the rest of Corroded Coffin rushed over. Well, Ronnie was trailing behind, still in her heels. And you commended her for not running like the rest.
Eddie let out a chuckle and you watched a grin stretch across his face, lighting him up more than anything else seemingly did tonight. It was a look of love, of appreciation. Friendship.
And when he looked at you, you swore that it intensified.
God, he was something else.
“This is Grant, Gareth, Ronnie, and Jeff,” he introduced, gesturing to the group.
As if you didn’t already know.
“Nice to meet you all,” you said, giving each one a handshake and a smile.
“Jesus, you’re prettier in person,” Ronnie said, giving you a look over. “Love the dress.”
You could help but smile, especially with how beautiful she was. Ronnie Ecker. A legendary fucking female drummer standing in front of you. Her satin dress hugged her hips, a slit running up her thigh as the tips of her fingers rested against the opening. And, sure, Eddie was standing next to you, and you were extremely interested in him. But you’d be lying if you didn’t feel heat rising to your cheeks at the sight of one of the hottest women alive.
“Right back at you,” you replied, trying to stop sounding so nervous. “You’re incredible at the drums. It’s such an honor—"
“We’re heading out, actually,” Gareth said loudly, catching your attention.
“To do what? Go to bed?” Eddie asked, snorting. “Did you grind the indica by mistake?”
Grant shrugged. “We came to see if you wanted to go back and do a one-shot…” he trailed, eyes flickering over to you. “But then we saw you over here and, well…”
Jeff pointed at you. “We decided we wanted to meet you,” he said plainly.
“Yeah, exactly,” Gareth confirmed.
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Oh, please. I’m really not that interesting.”
“Don’t sell yourself short,” Eddie said, catching your gaze. “Not to us or anyone else.”
There was something about the way he said it that made you wonder exactly what he was thinking about you. Because there was that hint of a smirk again, one that you couldn’t help but interpret as: You should see yourself the way I do in this moment.
And even though the others fell headfirst into their own tangent, you decided to lean over to Jeff. 
“A one-shot, you say?” you asked. “Like for D and D?”
A grin spread across his face. “Precisely.”
“You guys play a lot?”
Jeff nodded. “Yeah, Eddie’s, like, the best DM I’ve ever seen.”
“Better than Brennan Lee Mulligan?” you questioned.
“Close enough,” he admitted.
Eddie tapped Jeff on the shoulder. “Did someone just mention Brennan?”
“She did,” Jeff said as he patted your shoulder. “Wanna get super jealous?”
You raised an eyebrow as Eddie gave you a shit-eating grin. “I’m guest starring in his upcoming campaign.”
“Oh, fuck off!” you exclaimed. Stomping your foot, you shook your head. Your lips twisted into a smile, all jealous and playful. Because you were extremely envious, having watched D&D for years but never playing it yourself. And here Eddie was, getting the opportunity to work with one of the best DMs there were. What a cool fucking asshole.
“Well, if you ever wanted to plaaaaaay,” Gareth exaggerated, clasping his hands together and grinning. “We could always head back and get you a character sheet.”
Eddie flicked his forehead, giving him a hard stare that you couldn’t understand. “Gareth, we are not doing a one-shot tonight.” When both men’s eyes flickered over to you for a moment, you began to pick up the meaning. “So you better scram.”
And then it was its own conversation, one that started with goodbyes but led into another whirlwind of comments. You tried to follow along, tried to understand what they were even talking about in their shared campaign. There was something about a powerful wizard, another realm underneath the one you called your own. A world that seemed upside down, a world that you were glad you didn’t live in.
And as soon as it began to descend into chaos, Eddie sighed and held up his hand. “Alright, I’m cutting us off. Go to bed, you lovely dumbasses.”
“I like you,” Jeff said as the others hugged and bumped fists. Your eyes widened. “I like you a lot.”
Without a chance to ask him what he meant by that, Jeff was filing behind Grant and Gareth, all three sneaking glances back at you as they walked away.
Ronnie gave you another look over before leaning in. “Some advice? Don’t break his heart,” she said, patting your shoulder before she hustled to catch up with the others.
Shock ran through you at the sheer idea of feelings being involved between you and Eddie Munson of all people. As if he would ever actually want something like that. The idea was so absurd that you almost had to scoff.
“Did you want to keep talking?”
You turned to Eddie whose stare was becoming almost too magnetic, having to look away every few seconds. If you didn’t, the eye contact was going to send you into cardiac arrest. 
“Talking?” you asked, lifting an eyebrow. 
He played innocent, shrugging. “Well, we could always talk. We could do other things, too. If you’d like.”
“You want me to go home with you?”
“To my hotel room, maybe?” Eddie paused, clearly trying to interpret your expression and failing. “Uh, unless I’m reading this all wrong.”
“You’re not,” you said.
Without breaking eye contact, his fingers found your palm before lifting it and pressing his lips against the back of your hand. You could only hope the music would mask your sharp breath. 
“I have fewer scarlet letters than people think.” 
Another kiss. Another lodge in your throat.
“So, don’t think I’m doing this because I’m a whore.”
You could only nod. “Likewise.”
“I just…” he paused, a hint of something covering his features. “I think you’re really cool.”
“Likewise,” you concluded, disconnecting your hands before his touch could electrocute you further. “See you at the hotel.”
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“How many scarlet letters do you have?” you asked Eddie.
How the hell you’d managed to be alone in the elevator was beyond you. In fact, it was a miracle on its own that the two of you were able to leave separately, arrive at the hotel without paparazzi standing out front, and casually make it to the elevator without anyone taking notice. It was a rather close call.
Or maybe it was a sign.
You nearly rolled your eyes at the thought before Eddie’s laugh brought your attention back. 
“Ah, man,” he said. “Three, the first two being in high school. What about you?”
“Four,” you said plainly. “All post high school. I wasn’t very popular back then.”
“Neither was I.”
You looked over at him, curious about what else was there.
“Really?”
Eddie snorted. “Are you kidding me? Of course not. Look at me.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”  
He shook his head. “Uh-uh. Those first two? They used me to get back at their boyfriends. Thought the local freak would, I don’t know, make them jealous?”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “I was also the freak.”
“Really?” You nodded. “Could’ve fooled me.”
And there that stare was again, burning a hole in your chest that you weren’t sure how to make go away. But did you really even want it to?
No words were exchanged as you made your way down the hallway. You looked back, always alert at the potential of a camera or wandering eyes. And when you made your way inside his hotel room, thick with the scent of him, you felt the prickles on your neck that always came when you feared danger.
For some reason, you couldn’t help but look at the door, making sure it was locked. Making sure that the shadows underneath the door were passing by quickly. Muffled voices came and went, but your guard never wavered.
“You don’t have to worry about anyone seeing us,” Eddie said. You turned slowly, watching him unlace his boots. “This floor is all booked for the band. No need to risk anything. That’s probably just my guy, James. He’s a hardass, but he loves a good party.”
A small chuckle left your lips. “It’s not that I’m scared to be seen with you,” you explained. “It’s just a nasty habit.”
“I don’t blame you. Las Vegas can drive people crazy.”
You took the moment to undo your heels, finally able to let your feet breathe after a long, long night of discomfort. There was a stinging pain the moment your bare feet hit the carpet.
But you couldn’t wait, taking tentative steps towards him. Like you were assessing him, assessing the risk. Watching as he watched you, standing like you’d made a silent request that he couldn’t say no to.
“I won’t bite,” he said, hands reaching out to yours. Taking your fingertips and pulling you towards him. Like you were still on that dance floor, like he was as lost in the moment as you were. 
As you drew near, you caught a glimpse of his smudged eye shadow, the way it was starting to smear. His eyes, darker than before in the low light of the lamp, only on you.
Yeah, you weren’t thinking about consequences anymore.
“I have to be up early in the morning,” you whispered, nearly chasing his lips with yours.
He nodded. “You can leave whenever you want,” he said softly, thumb brushing your lower lip. “I do want you to know that I want to kiss you so bad it’s going to kill me.”
“Well, why didn’t you just say—”
Eddie kissed you fiercely, nearly knocking you over. 
It was like he was chasing after you. Wherever you moved, he moved. Whenever you gasped, he gasped. Your hand met the back of his neck, so his moved to yours. 
It was the kindling of a fire.
If you dared to utter it, you would call it passion. 
You slowly made your way to his neck, scratching against the choker as you went. Eddie inhaled sharply, trembling as you made your way down his chest. Desperate to feel all of it. Desperate to understand where he started and where he ended. Wondering if you’d truly be granted full access.
But it was his fingers that flipped a switch. Eddie carefully moved the tips along your jaw—gently, like he was trying to learn exactly what you felt like. And before you could register it, Eddie pulled your head to the side and latched his lips to your throat. 
There was a release of a moan, the high pitch shocking you. 
Because here you were, feeling a lightning strike against your neck, rumbling like chills down your back. Before you knew it, you were limp in his arms.
You were giving in.
Slowly, Eddie helped you out of your dress, trying to take his time. But you were a little more fast-paced, nearly ripping off your own underwear before reaching towards him. Mainly because he only had a jacket on, but you were also extremely close to losing your mind if you didn’t have him inside you in the next ten minutes.
“Now, why’re you going so fast?” Eddie asked, voice hushed in the silent room. His lips met yours again, leaning back just enough to look into your eyes. “Shouldn’t you give yourself some time to enjoy it?”
Dumbfounded. That’s the only way you could describe yourself. Eddie was standing in front of you, offering you the chance to experience not just sex, but pleasure.
“Can I?” you asked him, desperate to be told again. 
He kissed your forehead.
“Yes.”
Eddie gently lowered you to the bed, helping you scoot up to rest your head on the pillow. He paused, peering down at you as he unhooked his choker. It was the tucking of his lip into his mouth that captivated you, beckoned you to reach up to his lips.
You couldn’t remember wanting anyone else’s mouth this much.
And amongst the kissing and the harsh breaths, Eddie had his pants off, quickly kicking them aside to focus on you. You immediately clocked how he had not worn any underwear.
Fuck.
You had no time to look down at his length, instead feeling it as he rocked his hips against your mound. With lips against skin and a fever building, you hardly formed a thought as you tried to push his hand towards your pussy.
“Eddie,” you whined. “Please.”
“Whatever you want,” he murmured. “Promise.”
His fingers danced around your entrance, the calloused tips stroking your clit as he went along. Your hips bucked, but it was nothing against his grip on you. Instinctively, you moved your face to the side, wanting to hide your face in the pillow. 
“Shh, it’s alright,” he whispered, placing a small kiss to your nose. “Let yourself go.”
Before you had any time to respond, Eddie was inside you. His fingers pumped in and out, the squelching sound of your wetness filling the near silence.
Eddie wasn’t done annihilating your neck, leaving more and more marks as he went. There your sounds returned, nearly choking on your breath as you whimpered. 
It went on like this for a while, Eddie taking his time to bring you to the brink of an orgasm. Once. Twice. Unable to edge you a third time when you came uncontrollably and suddenly. You’d come down only to find his fingers on your clit again, beckoning you.
“Can you do it for me again?” he asked.
Feverish nods, hushed confirmations.
Another orgasm. Another bout of emotions that were ripping through you.
When you finally came down from your third orgasm, you knew you needed more. It wasn’t a want. It was a need. Eddie hadn’t touched himself, hadn’t given in to his own pleasure. It was all you.
All you.
“Can you, um,” you tried to start, breath still heavy. 
“What is it?” he asked.
With shaky fingers, you reached down between you, lightly stroking his cock. Eddie let out a hiss, arms struggling to hold him up. It was his turn to quiver.
“Ah,” he finally said, a nervous chuckle eliciting from him. “I, uh, would really like that.”
Without another word, he ran his tip over your clit, a groan leaving your lips before you came back to reality.
“Wait," you sighed, pausing. "What about you?” Gently, you pressed a hand against his chest. “Don’t you want me to, uh…”
You were too embarrassed to ask him point blank if he wanted his dick (cock? Big Ben? Woodpecker?) sucked. Because you knew that if you were to say it out loud, you would be a fumbling mess of Do you want me to suck your cockbenpecker? And then you’d have to leave and kill yourself out of sheer embarrassment.
But Eddie didn’t laugh at you. Instead, his lips found your shoulder. “No, I’m alright. Thank you for the offer, though.” He slowly trailed his tongue to the other side. “Rain check for that?”
You nodded. “Y-yeah, absolutely.”
He carefully slid in, eliciting strained moans from both of you. You watched his eyes widen; mouth agape as he looked at you. Took your silent nod as confirmation to rock into you. He didn’t go too quick, seemingly taking his time to feel you. 
And as he built his momentum, you couldn’t help but find yourself becoming a a mumbling mess.
His cock was filling you, completing you. Aching as though you’d been missing each other your entire lives and you were finally colliding.
He lifted your leg over his shoulder, seemingly desperate to go deeper. You felt as he shivered, like he was unable to control himself while trying to maintain the control he already had. It drove you wild, moving with him to get him to keep going. Getting as close to him as you could to keep him vibrating above you. 
It was addicting, keeping your eyes connected as you tried to give back what he was giving to you. There was a silent connection forming, one where you were desperate to make him feel the way you did. Craved the ability to make him bend at your will, a carnal desire to make him fall apart at your hands.
Eddie smiled, nearly laughing as you grabbed his ass and pushed him deeper into you. And even though you were close to cracking a smile, it was quickly taken away. He thrusted again, harder, intensifying the wave of ecstasy washing over you. You cried out, unable to hold it in anymore. 
“That’s it,” he said. “You sound so pretty, you know that?”
A fourth orgasm ripped through you at his praise, cum coating his cock as he continued to rock into you. He slowed, only for a moment, just enough to help you down before he picked you right back up again. Cradled your face in one hand, his other lightly running up and down your calf. For the first time, you weren’t thrown into overstimulation.
For the first time, you experienced true pleasure from sex.
As you continued to writhe in his arms, trembling as he left you in wave after wave of euphoria, you felt something shift in your chest. You couldn’t see it then, but there was a part of you that would want him the moment he was gone. Because when he finally came, pulling out and spilling onto your stomach, you were disappointed that he hadn’t cum inside you.
It was in the way he took his time with you, treating you like a lady, praising you with each orgasm. Instead of whatever you imagined, something fast and filthy and rough, you were… Well, you were worshiped.
It was much more than whatever a one-night stand between strangers was supposed to look like. And you’d never had a one-night stand, but you were ninety-nine percent sure it was not this. Strangely, you were very, very okay with that.
When you two were officially finished, he pulled you into his chest, your head resting above his thrumming heart. And you stayed there. Without any thought of the future, without any thought of your hotel room or your manager or the flight you had to take tomorrow. No, you were somewhere else. Somewhere lovely. Somewhere safe.
“Tell me something true,” you whispered in the dark.
“What do you mean?”
“Something you probably haven’t talked about to the press or whatever. However personal you’d like to get.”
“I have two cats,” he said. “And I’m actually considering getting a third.”
“That’s really cool,” you responded. “But I’m curious.”
“Hm?”
“How do you have cats when you’re always away from home? I’ve always wanted to adopt one, but I’m scared we’ll have separation anxiety.”
“Easy. I bring them with me.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I have special bags for them and everything. They fucking love traveling if you can believe it. Goddamn angels on airplanes.”
You couldn’t help your jealousy. It had always been a dream to have a cat. A companion, a friend to curl up next to at night. But your parents despised animals and then, well, you were suddenly never home. You wondered what it would feel like to be able to bring a piece of home with you wherever you went.
“What about you?’
You peered up at him. “Me?”
“Yeah, you,” he said with a smile. “Tell me something true.”
“It’s so stereotypical, but…” You took a deep breath, contemplating if it was okay to be so vulnerable so soon after meeting him. “I get really sad when people talk about my body.” You watched his eyebrows furrow. “I like myself, but it’s hard to be, like, not skinny and still be the artist I am as if my body determines whether I’m good enough at my job.
“Sometimes I wish I could just be a person who happens to have this body and that was that. I’m healthy…what more do people want out of me?”
Eddie’s arms tightened around your waist, fingers brushing against your tummy. “People are fucked up. Genuinely.” 
“I agree. It’s like… Either I’m too big for someone to love me but my reputation is that I’m fucking everyone within a ten mile radius at any given time. Like a fucking fuck radar.” Eddie laughed. “Like which is it? ‘Cause I clearly can’t be both and I can’t be neither.”
“You know what I say to that?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.
“Hm?”
He raised his fist. “Fuck ‘em.”
You gave him a fist bump, nodding. “Yeah, fuck ‘em.”
“Also, if I may add, you’re fucking beautiful.” You shook your head. “No, I’m serious. I saw you walk up to accept your award tonight, which you totally had in the bag by the way, and I couldn’t help but think, ‘Wow, she’s more stunning in person.’ And I was at one of the tables in the back.”
 “You really thought that?”
“Please, I think Jeff was getting annoyed at how much I was staring. Said Radiohead wrote ‘Creep’ about me.”
A laugh fell from your lips but you still shook your head.
“I genuinely like you for you,” he whispered, lightly lifting your chin up. “It’s something true.”
“I think…I believe you.”
“Please do.”
But when you finally fell asleep, you were thrown into something ferocious. The sky turned black, with crows and ravens circling the trees. You ran along a path, trying desperately to find shelter. In the distance, you saw Eddie, walking with some other girl. One arm behind his back, his other hand holding hers. Just like he did with you.
And then it occurred to you: Now that you’d gotten a taste of Eddie Munson, you didn’t want to share.
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It was supposed to be a random hookup. Just a fleeting glance at the unusual mixture of metal and pop, leather and lace. But when you woke up to the sound of your alarm, having to get on a plane as soon as possible to do promo in Chicago, you decided to wake him up.
“Hey,” you said. “Wake up, sleepy.”
He opened his eyes slightly, taking in your already dressed appearance. “Where are you going?”
Sitting on the edge of the bed, you shrugged. “Chicago. I have a podcast to go on to talk about the Grammys and bullshit about having anything written for the next album and do promo and all that.” You looked down at the white duvet, all wrinkly from the long night (with a hint of his smeared eye shadow.) “I just wanted to thank you for last night and tell you that I had fun.”
“Yeah?” You nodded. “I did, too.” 
For a moment, you were quiet. Watching as he bit his lip, noticing how you were chewing on yours. Wondered what to say. What to think. How to end an interaction you really didn’t want to end.
“Favorite Beatles song this morning?” he asked.
You tried not to smile, but you couldn’t help it as you looked up at his cheeky expression. 
“‘I’ve Just Seen A Face’.”
“Help!” he nearly shouted in a fake scared voice, clasping onto his face. 
Rolling your eyes at his antics, you said, “If I didn’t know better, you know every album they’ve ever done.”
“Maybe I’ll tell you the answer next time I see you.”
You chuckled, telling yourself that this was just something people say. Next time this. Next time that. And there’s no follow up. Just a glance here and there at events. No one calls. No one cares.
You tried to get up, but Eddie gently grabbed your hand, rubbing his fingers along your knuckles. “Actually, in all seriousness…I wouldn’t mind seeing you again sometime.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Without a word, you disconnected your hand from his and started towards the door. Started towards what was ultimately going to be a long day with endless naps and replacing the water in your body with coffee. 
And as you placed your hand on the cold doorknob, Eddie said his last words.
“I’m going to miss you.”
You glanced over at him, your armor starting to come loose. 
But it tightened as soon as the weakness was identified. Because there was no way to make any promises, no way to guarantee anything more than what this moment in time had provided. 
“I’ll see you soon, Eddie. I’ll make sure of it.”
After that, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. The way he was just so honest. Upfront. Wanting you close.
He told you he was going to miss you. He told you that he liked you for the person you were, not the person that everyone expected you to be. And he was the same, his reputation being nothing more than a façade for the lovely human being underneath.
The rest of that day, that week, you could only think of him.
Shouldn’t you give yourself some time to enjoy it? his voice echoed. 
It’s alright. 
Just let go.
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Early October, 2024
His makeup smeared down his face as he held your eyes. You’d never seen him so soft, so gentle. Full of emotions reserved just for you. Desperate for the one thing he ever wanted. 
You.
And in that moment, it all froze mid-air. The laughter and gasps of the crowd. The sound of the photographers shouting his name, shouting yours. The videos and the comments that felt like sticks and stones. Ronnie’s hurling words that felt like daggers.
It dissipates as you remember the start, as you remember why you were there in the first place. Why it mattered.
“Okay,” you murmured.
Eddie's eyes widened.
“I’ll stay.”
58 notes · View notes
frenchgremlim1808 · 3 months
Note
What do you think about her
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A LOT OF STUFF ACTUALLY
i'm pretty sure this question was like a simple do i like her or not but i'm gonna do a french gremlim and analyse and theorise a lot more than needed.
(also at first i didn't recognize you lol)
So i have five thousand questions about her and they make me go insane but to make this rant seems normal i will organise my thought's in multiple parts
Who the fuck are you cake lady and what is your role ?
So let's first say what we are sure to know about her, she is a floor master since she is wearing a food themed outfit, she is inspired by strawberry shortcake, and, that's it. I mean we do know that she is just saying how is everyone doing but that is not a lot honestly to base on.
There comes the first question, what is your role, every floor master in the death game which were themed had a specific role assigned by a emotion.
Rio is anger, Safalin is sadness, Miley is joy and Gashu is neutrality. So what is cake girl ? Pink is often referenced to the color of love but also nurture, kindness,innocence, and sweetness. It could also be bliss. But i'm pretty sure she will be something like love but more of a twisted kind. Midori and meister are out of the equation since they aren't themed after anything.
Second question
2)Why do you exist berry ?(i'm gonna call her that).
Like meister is the main floormaster of the floor so why do you exist, well my first speculation is this one, this is a safalin rio and gashu situation.
Gashu is the main floor master but safalin and rio are more so coflor masters that are beneath him in power, that's the same with berry. here my very proffesional shematisation
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I do actually have a second one, but i believe less in that one, maybe she was sent there to replace the fact that midori died like an idiot. I'mnot sure the murder game should have ended whith midori dying, it should have either been keiji or gin, someone close to sara. But no midshit died so maybe they sent anew floormaster to replace him.
It's also possible that just like maple she is tied to a place since we can see that she is in room that looks like her.
3) Theory time
So first off, why are you sara core berry, you have similar bangs, body type, face and a ponytail as sara. That's kinda suspicious Berry. It's possible that she is a doll of sara in a costume. Her pupils are way too unatural to be human. Either she is a doll or she wear contacts like miley. Again this might be a coincidence considering that nankidai did the same thing whith teki, giving them similar features.
Though i did remark something, either she has no collar or i'm blind. there a slim possibility that she has none since it's covered by her bows.
So in conclusion i like her she looks insane i hope she is, also she is just botsun two, maybe is girlfriend/j
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lvstcd · 2 years
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just a memory (just a bet pt 2) ⟶ jj maybank x fem!reader
REQUESTED: "is there anyway you can do a part 2 to ‘ just a bet ‘ it was so good and i need more !!! ur writings amazing sweetheart 🫶🏻" and "part 2 of ‘ just a bet ‘ ??? please please please 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻"
A/N: thank youuuuu. i have another request for making an alternative ending where the reader lives, so this one is gonna be more angsty and filled with memories before the reader passed :)
SUMMARY: the pogues sit in silence, grieving over your death, reminiscing the good and bad memories they have of you.
GENRE: angst, swearing, fluff, death
WORD COUNT: 2.0k
PLAY IN MY ROOM BY CHANCE PENA.
(fem = female reader) not edited!!
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lower case intended
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Y/N l/n's death was announced shortly after her parents left the hospital. outerbanks was in shock and filled with sadness. the well known kook-turned-pogue was killed in a tragic accident. 3 days later, the town gathered together for the first time in years to go to your funeral and wake.
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JJ sits silently in the front of john b's van as it drives towards the cemetery. everyone sits in silence while the radio makes a slight hum to whatever song was playing. kie sniffles while sarah quietly sobs in the back, leaning her head on popes shoulder.
the drive up the gravel road and observe all the pogues and kooks standing around and having small talk. sarah wipes her eyes and blows her nose while john b parks. everyone sits in silence to gather themselves for a minute.
"look at this," kie whispers, "pogues and kooks in the same place, not fighting, not being passive aggressive. just here to support y/n's family and say goodbye." everyone nods and continues watching.
"how are we supposed to go on like this?" pope asks from the back seat, "how are we supposed to move on after how we treated her? we broke her heart and her trust and within a matter of minutes, she was killed."
everyone continues to sit in silence, not responding to pope. they knew he was right. they were asking themselves the same thing from the moment they found out. they climb out of the van and start heading towards y/n's parents, greeting them with hugs and small talk.
"can everyone take a seat please?" the man yells from behind the casket, insinuating it was starting. the pogues sit down behind y/n's family, the girls in the front including kie and sarah, and the guys in the back with the rest of the pogues.
jj stares at your pale face. he observes the peaceful expression, almost like you're sleeping. he stares at you and zones out;
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"I can tell you're staring at me." y/n mumbles, keeping her eyes closed while jj lays beside her, resting his head on his hand.
"and? you're beautiful. i can't help by stare." jj smiles at his girlfriend before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.
"you're so cheesy," she giggles, "but it's okay. i love it." she smiles brightly at him, pecking his lips before sitting up and stretching.
"what are we doing today? any plans?" she asks as she lets out a yawn and rubs her eyes. jj shrugs, running a hand through his hair.
"from what i know, everyone's working or has plans. i think john b and sarah are going on date night and kie and pope are working since they've been out the last 3 days." she nods, flopping back down on the bed and cuddling into jj's chest.
"then i say we have a movie day," she pokes his cheek, "what do you think, love?"
jj nods and smiles, "sounds like a plan to me, sunshine." jj turns on the tv and hands the remote to y/n, "pick any movie you want." y/n smiles and scrolls through different movies, deciding to play a sad romance.
"have you ever seen the last song?" jj shakes his head no, "ain't no way! it has miley cyrus and luke hemsworth in it! this is the starting point of their relationship. they got together while filming this movie!" jj laughs at y/n before running his fingers through her hair, playing with it.
"play it then, sunshine. we'll watch it." she smiles and pecks jj's nose before pressing play, cuddling into his chest.
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JJ breaks from his trance, his memory of you, and lets the tears silently fall down his cheeks, not caring to wipe them. john b and pope pats his back, while he silently sobs, listening to the man in front continue on about your beautiful life.
kie sits in the front, her hand intertwined with sarah's and y/n's mother, as she stares at the ground as tears seep down her cheeks and into her black dress. she stares at the anklet on her right ankle;
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"KIE! look at this!" y/n yells from the jewelry rack. kie giggles and walks over to y/n. y/n does jazz hands at all the beach themed jewelry laid out in front fo them.
"aren't they all so beautiful?! have i ever told you how much i ADORE anklets? they're so simple yet so cute," she squeals, her smile beaming, "oh my goodness, kie. we have to get some! i have an idea! you pick one out for me, i pick one out for you! deal?"
kie laughs and nudges y/n, "deal."
"make sure you really take your time in picking mine out!" y/n ushers to the other side, observing all the anklets they had in stock. kie stared at every single one before landing on one that perfectly described you. it was a pale yellow with a sun in the middle. sunshine. that was jj's nickname to you and it was 100% true. you were the sunshine in everyone's life. so bright, so happy. they loved it about you.
"are you ready, kie?" y/n asks from the other side. kie lets out a small ready and they step aside, showcasing the anklets. y/n and kie gasp at the same time. y/n had picked the perfect anklet that matched kie and her style.
y/n and kie check out and walk out of the store. they stop at the bench right outside of the store and sit down, putting on their new anklets. "kie, this is beautiful. i love it."
"the one you picked is adorable! it's literally me in an anklet."
"i hope you know," y/n starts, smiling at kie, "i am never taking this off. it is staying on my ankle forever. even at my funeral. even when im 6 feet under. it will be with me forever."
kie smiles, "mine will be with me forever, too. no matter where we are in the world, i'll look at this anklet and think of you and how much i love you." y/n smiles, tears in her eyes.
"i love you, kk. forever and always." y/n smiles, holding her pinky with kies.
"and i love you, y/n/n. forever and always."
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KIE moves her gaze to y/ns legs, catching the faded yellow anklet on her right ankle. kie chews on her bottom lip, trying so hard to not let the loud sobs out. what would she do with the anklet if she was still here? would she burn it? would she throw it at kie in anger? would kie be y/n's "little kk" anymore? would she ever forgive her? or would she keep the anklet on her because it was apart of her now? kie squeezes her eyes shut and lets out a quiet sob, her fingers gripping harder on sarah and mrs. l/n's hands.
sarah squeezes kie's hand back. as she squeezes harder, she stares down at the faded beaded bracelet on her left wrist. memories flashing in;
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"SARAH!" y/n smiles brightly, opening her arms wide to give sarah a hug. "how are you, my little green bean?" she asks, slinging her arm around sarah's shoulder as the walk to the fire at the kegger.
"i'm good, sweet pea." sarah smiles, leaning her head against y/n's.
"you ready to get fucked up?" y/n giggles as she grabs two beers from the keg stand and hands one to sarah.
"always." sarah winks at y/n clutching her hand and swinging it as the walk towards the rest of the pogues. they sit at the fire and converse with everyone around them. a couple hour later, the pogues decide to head out. everyone heads back the chateau, drunk and giggling.
"green beannnnn!" y/n yells from jj's room, stumbling out with two beaded bracelets in her hands.
"yes sweet pea??" sarah smiles from john b's bed, her hair a mess.
"look what i made you!!" y/n squeals, handing sarah the beaded bracelet, reading 'green bean', "and i made one for me! it say's "sweet pea!!" sarah laughs and pulls y/n into a bear hug.
"i love you, green bean." y/n mumbles into her neck.
"i love you, more, sweet pea."
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SARAH rests her head on kies shoulder, the tears on her cheeks sliding down onto kies dress. she misses you so much. you were her best friend. the number one person she would die for.
john b reaches in front, squeezing sarah's shoulder. he stares at your face, your pale skin, and the scar on the outer corner of your right eye;
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"JOHNNY." y/n greets john b as she climbs on the boat. "how are you today, sugar plum?" she jokes, poking his cheek. john b laughs and starts up the engine again, "same as every day, y/n/n."
"john b, toss me a beer!" jj yells from beside y/n, holding his hand out to reach it. john b tosses a can to jj, hitting y/n in the face on the way.
"oh shit! y/n, are you okay?"
"jesus fuck, johnny. did u aim for my right eye?" she laughs, holding the wound. the blood seeps down her fingers.
"fuck, jj, get a towel. it cut her."
"it's okay! im good." she insists, wiping the blood that repeatedly keeps running down her cheek and hand.
jj moves y/n's hand and presses the towel to the cut while john b stops the boat and grabs another towel to wipe the blood from her hands.
"i'm so sorry, y/n/n. i didn't mean to." y/n laughs, wiping some of the blood left on her palm on john b's cheek.
"paybacks a bitch, johnny." she snorts, laughing her ass off. john b chuckles, grabbing an couple ice cubes and wrapping a towel around it before handing it to her.
"a makeshift ice pack for you, miss l/n." he jokes, jj moves the towel from the cut and lets y/n put the ice back to the bruise/cut.
"you wait, johnny. one day i'm going to show up in your bedroom in the dead of night with a beer can and throw it at you, too." she laughs, causing john b to laugh, too.
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JOHN b frowns, looking down at the ground while pope cries and shakes his head, staring off into space;
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"HIYA, pope!" y/n smiles at the boy, sitting beside him at the fire. he smiles, sipping his beer.
"hiya, y/n." he chuckles, gripping the beer can so it doesn't slip out of his hand.
"i just realized i don't have a nickname for you." she points, furrowing her eyesbrows together.
"i really don't need one-"
"kpope. like kpop but kpope. sodapope. tempope." she kept going on, causing pope to laugh loudly.
"y/n, i-"
"oh my gosh! i got it! electropope! actually, i will just call you all the ones i listed because i'm creative and funny." she beams, sipping her beer.
the rest of the night, pope and y/n spent the night making weird nicknames for eachother regarding their names.
"you know pope," y/n slurred, "you're like my brother. the brother i never had. no matter what you did, i would always be there for you and forgive you. theres no one in this world like you. and i will always support you. forever."
"i love you, y/n/n. thank you."
"i love you too, kpope. now. no more sappy stuff. i need another beer!"
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THE pogues stand at your casket, hands full of dirt. as the drop the dirt int your grave, they say their goodbyes and apologies. their i love you's.
at the end of the day, they never knew if you would've forgave them. it took sometime, but they eventually only thought of the good moments with you. and they liked to believe that no matter how bad the situation was, they would always love you. and you loved them, too. because they were your family.
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TAGLIST: @pappydaddy @slytherinambitious @instabull
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astriddestelle · 7 months
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The way I was obsessed with enemies to lovers/rivals to lovers as a kid 😭😭😭 my top pairings growing up ranked. Canon/Fanon included.
Can you tell I’ve been on a nostalgic rewatch.
1. Logan/Quinn from Zoey 101. The OG teenbop enemies to lovers omg I stan. When they pronounced their love for each other at the season finale at the prom, screaming crying throwing up. The way they get together is so random lmao he calls her hot and they kiss then Michael rides by on a horse like what? But the pay off and ending was so *chefs kiss*
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2. Courtney/Duncan from TDI. They were everything to me and Cartoon Network ruined it. First season the bantering, the flirting. When I tell you I was hooked. The scream I scrumpt when they finally kissed (also me didn’t she just throw up but whatever I guess) then she left and it was all downhill from there.
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3. Rose/Jake from ADJL. The Romeo and Juliet of this paring needs to be studied. They were so down bad for each other. When Jake found out she was huntsgirl then when she found out. Their first kiss being right before she had to ‘kill’ him for sport in an arena. Her giving up her life to keep him and his family safe, him giving up her to keep her safe. 😭😭😭 they don’t make em like they used too
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4. Draco/Harry from HP. The ship that started it all. Before this I’d never read a slash fic before is it even still called that. Anyways this right here is my longest going ship I’m still into only reason it’s not higher is that I love the other ones more. You get so many variations of this, from the super toxic fic, to the I’ve always secretly loved you, to the meet up after the war is over and so on and so forth. Ugh I love it. There’s like 50,000 fics of them on a03 and I know I’ve read like half at least 🤣
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5. Zuko/Katara from Avatar. My second non canon ship on here. When I tell you I was obsessed with them. Sigh then I discovered other fandoms and by the time I came back to them I was just done. Which I think comes fromm just not being as much of a Zuko fan anymore. This ship was gold, tho, I mean come on I’ll save you from the pirates how can I not. The way he jumped in front of her (obviously he’d do the same for everyone but like listen it ate down bad) the whole crystal caverns episode was fuel to the fire, the writers/creators knew what they were doing
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6. Jake/Miley from Hannah Montana. Another OG omg she hated him so much. The flirty the snark then they had to kiss and both of em were like oh hot damn. They were so cute together and I will forever hate Disney for making her choose Jake just for him to cheat on her like what was the reason. What was the reason 😭😭
7. Alejandro/Heather from TDI. Woo child buckle up. This is one of those slowburns cause it’s not until like a quarter in to the season you’re like hold up. Are they going where I think they’re going and then they did. I don’t like the ending cause seriously wtf was the point. But the lead up and bruh the stuck in a hole song I still sing that on a daily. They were literally made for each other.
8. Chad/Sonny from Sonny with a Chance: one thing about Disney they ate down when it comes to enemies to lovers, or annoyance to like, whatever you wanna call it. Chad Dylan Cooper and Sonny omg the drama was beautiful, they hated each other so much and when they started dating I bout passed out. Lol they were so hilarious together I miss it.
9. Raven/Beastboy from TT. This and next two aren’t super enemies to lovers, more live annoyances or belligerent sexual tension. But I really was obsessed with this, like I was the girl reading Terra bashing fics 😭😭 they were so cute, the Beast Within was ship gold, Nevermore, the fact that she holds onto to the penny he gives her when she ‘dies’ and oh he only turns into the Beast again to protect her from Slade and never again. Beautiful
10. Jimmy/Cindy from JN. They may have only been nine but sheesh the rivalry to lovers or in this case crushes was intense. Cindy was down bad since day one but she hid that shit so well. The Valentine’s Day episode still makes me giggle like a kid. And the last episode where they’re legit just straight up flirting with each other I can not. When she almost confesses when he’s the orange hulk. So cute.
Honarary mentions:
Jinx/Kid Flash from TT. They were cute but I hated it solely for the fact that it shoulda been me 😭😭🤧🤧
Sam/Freddie from icarly. Ok so I used to love this one and as I got older, Sam was just so fucking mean that I couldn’t ship like damn. At some point it’s not cute anymore, it’s just down right abusive, early seasons yes, later seasons where they’re actually together no.
Bakugo/Deku simply cause some days I think it’s cute other days I hate it
Mindy and Josh from Drake and Josh. Cute and amusing but didn’t care for em much.
Bailey and Code from Suite Life on Deck see above.
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crmsnmth · 3 months
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Hello
I guess I wasn't clear enough on the third version, so here's Version 4 Introductions are stupid. Hi. My name is Chris. I'm 35. I live in a small-town of about 2000 people in the center of the state of Wisconsin. It is not even close to as glamorous as it sounds. I've lived in quite a few other places though, but I guess it's true that we always go home. I work as a kitchen manager/EC. I've been working in the kitchen on and off for most of my working life. My first job was a cashier at a certain fast food pizza place that makes rectangle pizzas. That aren't good, but the breadsticks always kicked ass.
I am a massive music fan (it's playing right now) and when I tell you I listen to all music, believe me when I say all music. My main daily playlist is always growing and includes everything from iwrestledabearonce to Katy Perry (listen to her unplugged album. Kissed a Girl as a jazz type thing is beautiful) to Atmosphere to Miley Cyrus to Alan Jackson to Dying Fetus. My favorite band is Descendents with Amigo The Devil and Frank Turner coming very very close to that coveted spot. I am a major horror fan, and I don't think I own a single t-shirt that isn't somehow horror related. I'm a sucker for the 80's slashers. I've seen every Friday the 13th movie enough times that if you ever watch them with me, I will annoy you by quoting the lines throughout the whole movie. I am Bipolar. Type 1. I am a raging cynic.
I am an addict in (long-term) recovery. I am sober. I write more than any sane person does, but I never once claimed to be sane. I write because if I don't, my head will explode. You can think this a metaphor all you want.
I do not write for anyone's approval, not even my own. I do this because it's a safe form of release that it's ok to be addicted to. If you have constructive criticism, I'll gladly take it because let's face it, I'm pretty bad at this whole thing. If you're just going to tell me I suck, in however many words, well, I don't need you to tell me that. Dick. I don't follow any rules or guidelines in what I write. So I call it lawless poetry even though half of it doesn't even fit poetry. Most of it is stream of conciseness built around a line or phrase I came up with during the day. I do this every single night. It's my ritual before bed. I journal (which is also posted in a blog) and then I work on my phrases and lines. I've been called garbage at this, but to those who can't give me a reason (other then you don't like it)if you can't back up your reason for being an art critic, your opinion means jack to me. Besides, anyone who claims to be an art critic is a narcissistic jackass. Art is subjective. Not just "I don't like it." Tell me why you don't like it. Tell me it's repetitive. I need to stop. Or I'll rant and moan about why I hate armchair critics for way too long.
So what will you find on my tiny drop in the ocean of the internet? You will see bad poetry, and an awful lot of it to be honest. You'll find random drops of fiction or a story I happen to be working on and want some form of opinion on it. I post at least once a day, but can post up to ten or fifteen times a day. And most of it is just your average mundane sad boy bad poetry. And if you see how much I do post, think of how much stuff I have laying around that never gets touched. I have boxes of notebooks, napkins and matchbooks with lines I thought were clever.
So since I write so much, what the hell is it exactly that I write about? That's easy. I'm pretty predictable in the end. So, this stuff: The Girl With Ocean Blue Eyes*, Kid*,The Broken Mirror Girl*, My Junkie Angel*, The Girl From California*, An Ex Band-Mate*, love, lost lovers, hopelessness, isolation, drug addiction, alcoholism, depression, forgotten acquaintances, mental illnesses, rage, hate, rejection, joy, insignificant moments, slices of life, laughter, beauty, self and self-reflection, self-hate, art, other writers, panic, infatuations, obsession, therapy, group homes, rehab, jail, grace, nature, loss, hope, fear, grief, anguish, philosophy, anarchism, nihilism, religion, god, the devil, ugliness, politics, serial killers, cults, suicide, death, destruction, chaos, music, validation, closure, memory, enemies, friends, rock bottom, sex, violence, rock and roll, sin, self-exploration, bipolar disorder, schizoaffecive disorder, pain, self-destruction much more.
Consider this line right here your trigger warning. Please see above to see my chosen subjects, and it should be clear that I will write something that can bring up some feelings. I make music as well for another creative outlet. No, I don't churn out songs like I do the written word, but I love my music and if you would like to tell me how much I suck at it here's the links:
If I come off as extremely depressed in my work, please know that I am fine. I'm good. Ok? Ok. For the most part, everything I write here is in collections or is part of WIPs. There are a few though that just end up here and get lost to the world of power failures, computer crashes, notebooks on fire and forgotten lines.
There, now you know the barest of my bare bones. You want to know anything else, just ask. I'm always happy for the fifteen second interaction. And I always try to interact with those who interact with me, but I am not one to talk first. If you follow me, know that I will most likely follow you back. Unless your space is empty, a bot, or straight-up porn.
*Not their real names.
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popbloganddropit · 1 month
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Cowboy Carter - Beyoncé
1. AMERIICAN REQUIEM: Just light the CMAs on fire, B! An impeccable intro to this album with varied sounds throughout the song that is representative of the sonic journey this album is going to take you on. 4.5/5
2. BLACKBIIRD: Stunning. Knowing no background about the song, I think it would still stop you in your tracks to hear these women harmonize and deliver each line with the perfect performance, emotional but not overdone. With the addition of the knowledge that Paul McCartney wrote this song about black women in the civil rights movement adds to the feeling behind the song and the feeling this version should have always existed. 5/5
3. 16 CARRIAGES- I heard the first two singles described as Texas Hold ‘Em being for country fans that weren’t sure about Beyonce and 16 Carriages as being for Beyonce fans that weren’t sure about country music and that holds up. This song describes Beyoncé’s ascension in the industry, and while I do like it, it’s missing something that makes me NEED to return to it like some of the other tracks here and on RENNAISSANCE. The way the chorus builds up into the titular line is really striking, and does stick around in my head. 4/5
4. PROTECTOR- This song is so sweet, just the right amount of hymnal to feel it in your spirit. The protector into projector line is *chef’s kiss*. 4.5/5
5. MY ROSE- an interlude, but I really wish it were longer because it’s got some really gorgeous and touching moments. 3.5/5
6. SMOKE HOUR- again not rating this, just had to note how tickled I was to hear Willie Nelson say KNTRY radio.
7. TEXAS HOLD ‘EM- I think this song has been stuck in my head since the Super Bowl. It’s so fun and makes you want to learn how to line dance in a pair of Daisy Dukes. 4.5/5
8. BODYGUARD- so smooth and sexy. If I were figuring out what to do with the Bond franchise, I would build a movie fit to make this the theme song and it would be a for sure blockbuster. 5/5
9. JOLENE- there’s probably too much discourse around this song for how serious it is, the Creole banjee bitch is having fun, so we can ignore a few corny lyrics (don’t raise full grown men though, ladies). There’s some really fun stuff going on in the background too, which is keeps a familiar melody interesting. 3.5/5
10. DAUGHTER- MURDER AT THE OPERA, and it is me who has been slayed. 5/5
11. SPAGHETTII- Beyonce having rap as a little side hobby she keeps in her back pocket is so cunty, country, petty of her. This would be one notch better if the hook in the chorus did a touch more for me lyrically. Beyonce’s harmonies over Shaboozey’s verse is perfection, though, so I will overlook it. 4/5
12. ALLIGATOR TEARS- the driving beat in the background never lets you feel at ease with Beyonce’s soulful yet slick performance. 4.5/5
13. JUST FOR FUN- a souldul, heavenly performance. Bey and Willie Jones sound great together. Willie fits in so well, his voice adds a gravelly, twangy flair. This is the CHURCH GIRL of this album for me. It’s objectively good, but something about it just doesn’t go all the way for me. 4/5
14. II MOST WANTED - This so fun! Miley and Beyonce’s vocals sound great together. A music video for this song would be magnificent. Fringe and rhinestones everywhere, vintage cars speeding through the desert, and I can picture them singing together on an upright piano in an old-timey saloon. This song does remind me of Gaga’s “You and I” and some of Joanne. She would have been a great option for this duet too. This song was meant to be belted out your car window at sunset. 4.5/5
15. LEVII’S JEANS- It’s most notable how clean and smooth Post Malone sounds! Everyone cleans up their act for Beyonce! I prefer “II MOST WANTED” a bit more of these two duets, but this is a fun little number. 4/5
16. FLAMENCO- it’s giving mafia but make it country. I know it was noted that a lot of these songs were inspired by movie and I would love to know what movie this one was. FLAMENCO has a bit of a theatrical flair. 4/5
17. THE LINDA MARTELL SHOW- Again, not rating this, I just think it’s very important to the thesis of this album. Genres are limiting. More on this later.
18. YA YA- this song begins the best stretch of the record and is a highlight on an album chock full of great moments. “YA YA” really showcases so many things that Beyonce does well. The intro call and response showing her cheeky sense of humor, then takes off like a shotgun with killer vocals and some social commentary (“whole let of red in that white and blue”) and moves into a sickening Beach Boys interpolation and is ass-shakeable throughout the whole thing (plus some some wild guitar shredding). And it keeps the country line dance-y vibe the whole time. An instant Beyonce classic. 5/5
19. OH LOUISIANA- an excellent transition, because you honestly do need a minute after YA YA. Would love to eventually hear the unedited vocals and/or an explanation of how they made Beyonce sound like this??? Going to skip a rating because this is just a transitional moment; I think very few people are playing this intentionally on repeat as a solo track.
20. DESERT EAGLE- sexy with a hot bass line running through it. Beyoncé makes do-si-do sound cooler than it ever has. The only possible complaint is we need an extended version since it’s only ~70 seconds long. 5/5
21. RIIVERDANCE- only Beyoncé could get away with the combining “Folsom Prison Blues”-esque verses, The Gift esque “running through the river”’s, a hint of 2010’s folk-pop stomp claps, and a and cheeky twerk anthem, “bounce on that shit, no hands”and absolutely get away with it. 5/5
22. II HANDS II HEAVEN- love the “no hands” of the previous song moving into this. This wouldn’t be out of place on Renaissance, but belongs here lyrically and musically as well. It’s not a stand out track, but still very solid. 4/5
23. TYRANT- I really like the beginning and I wish there was a little more of it or it was its own song. I also really like the second part, so it’s not too sad. This is the tight black leather type of country song. That string in the background and the beat are doing some work, which really rides an interesting line between country and RnB. 4/5
24. SWEET/HONEY/BUCKIN- a JOURNEY of a song, I would take 5 minute cuts of any of these portions. It’s a mix of everything that’s on the rest of the album. SWEET starts off with Beyoncé’s soulful vocals and gets a verse from Shaboozey that balances a country and rap fusion significantly better than most garbage on country radio that sounds like rap for people who are afraid to leave their suburb. The claps that follow are scientifically designed to make you want to dance. Into a slower, sensual(but short) HONEY interlude that then takes off like horse into the BUCKIN section which is just a goddamn banger. Sickening how hype this gets. Does Beyonce say “Look at that horse” because you could lift a horse when it’s playing?? 5/5
25. AMEN- an AMERICAN REQUIEM reprise that is a nice bow on the end of this gift Beyonce has bestowed upon us. Works perfectly if you want to go ahead and start the album over again (and you might) or go right in to RENAISSANCE. 4/5
I overall do love so much of this album. If we were to compare to Act i, I would say Renaissance is better as it is, for me, a no skip, play front to back album that is so cohesive. I think the Linda Martell interlude is key to understanding Cowboy Carter, because what is genre and is it important? I think the thesis of this album is that genre is limiting. To the critics that will say xyz elements aren’t country enough, she’s got Willie, Dolly P, and Linda Martell’s co-sign. Country fans checking this out will find Beyonce playing with so many different genres but can hopefully see the country twist she has put on them. In the opposite direction, Beyonce fans who might limit themselves to modern pop and RnB might discover the original Blackbird or Jolene, or they might look at works by the interlude or featured artists and find something they love and relate to. How much of genre do we relate to who it is coming from? Can a Beatles cover by Beyonce be country? Does it matter if it’s “country” if you like it anyway? Beyoncé is exploring and pushing the boundaries of every genre here. Where Renaissance feels very tight and cohesive as a record, Cowboy Carter is the Wild West with a little something for everyone. There does seem to be a general consensus that it’s a little long, but there’s no agreement on what should be cut. I love the way the interludes divide the record up into cohesive segments and those segments would feel incomplete if you removed songs from them, so I must come to the conclusion that the more Beyonce, the better. There are rumors she might do a rock album next, but the real message to be found here is that she can do anything she wants.
This album gets an average of 4.4 and I do feel it is absolutely an album that works together from front to back, so we will round up to a 4.5/5.
Top 3: Bodyguard,Ya Ya, Sweet/Honey/Buckin
What’s Next:
A review straight from The Tortured Poets Department. Thinking I might split it up into a few pieces. This already took me a while and 31 songs is A LOT!
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alicent-vi-britannia · 5 months
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5 reasons why Kagino doesn't work (and 3 reasons why Kalulu does)
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I was planning to prepare the small analysis of the final scene of the last episode of the first season, but, given the latest events that have occurred on my other Code Geass page, I decided to postpone it and work on a publication that I had planned for the future: explaining why Kagino is the most forced ship in Code Geass, besides Lelouch and CC in the infamous movie Lelouch of the Aberration (you will know it as Lelouch of the Resurrection). Also why Kagino is one of the worst ships in Code Geass. Please note that I use the term ship because this is a fandom pairing. Gino was never a love interest for Kallen and vice versa, according to official material (including the series).
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1.It's a forced ship. This ship was invented by the Newtype magazine, which was ProCluClu, after they tried to do the same with Xingke and the ship had no support. What is the need to promote this ship? Kallen was becoming too close to Lelouch for the liking of CluClu fans, so it had to get her rival out of the way, and what better way for her heart to have an owner other than Lelouch? Actually, there could be other ways, but even the CluClu shippers saw the chemistry and sexual tension between Lelouch and Kallen. She was a threat, from their point of view. I have emphasized this because ""coincidentally"" the CluClu shippers are the only ones who pair Kallen with Gino (yes, I'm seeing that they are realizing that they are losing credibility due to their bias, so they are trying to hide what they are pretending they are Shirlulu or Kalulu shippers; they clearly don't understand what they are doing wrong, right?). The other 0.0002% are people who ship them because they believe that CluClu is canon and Kallen is alone and deserves someone to take care of her heart, but, as Miley Cyrus said in her powerful song, Kallen can buy herself flowers, ask herself to dance, telling herself things that only she understands, holding her own hand and loving herself and being happy.
Kallen is a romantic interest of Lelouch. You can see their relationship develop and take on a romantic nature as the episodes go by in R2. There is a narrative construction. Unfortunately, I won't be able to track their relationship here since that requires a separate analysis.
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2. The "other reasons" that accompany this ship are superficial. The ship background that I expressed above is the real reason. There are no other compelling reasons to pair Kallen and Gino apart from the fact that they are both handsome, the same age, they exchanged a few words, and they are Knightmares pilots. Still, for CluClu shippers, those reasons are enough to prove that they are "soulmates." It's complete nonsense. You have work colleagues or study partners and your mother or your friends or your teacher or your boss aren't matching you with any of them, right? Furthermore, Suzaku also meets these requirements and no one is pairing him with Kallen (for the record, I find this ship interesting; but I don't think it works in the context of the series either).
My point is that just because two people are contemporary, attractive and (more or less) doing the same job doesn't mean that they are each other's ideal partner or that love will arise between them. Love is a spontaneous and free thing, which brings me to my next point…
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3. Gino and Kallen have no romantic attraction for each other or sexual tension. The biggest "evidence" there is in favor of this ship and surely what started this nonsense was a comment Gino makes in episode 9. But, far from demonstrating a romantic interest or sexual attraction for Kallen, it shows that the fandom has problems of reading comprehension. Let's see, read the comment: "Anya: This is the ace of the Black Knights. The pilot of the Guren. Gino: Yes, the one from before. She is much prettier than the wanted poster of her. "That's my kind of woman!" What does this tell us? 1. That Gino recognizes that Kallen is pretty. 2. That the type of women Gino is attracted to are pretty. There is a big difference between "I like women like you" and "I like you." Just because you appreciate a person's beauty doesn't automatically mean that you like him, that is orthodox and childish thinking (this makes me think of men with fragile masculinity who refuse to admit that another man seems handsome to them because they think they would look like homosexuals and they have been made to believe that masculinity and homosexuality don't go together). Even more important is Kallen's reaction, when he makes the comment: she just turns away. She doesn't smile or blush. Zero interest.
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This is very different from what happens between Lelouch and Kallen. She does react to Lelouch's comments, no matter how minor they may be. Like this double entender in episode 5. "Kallen: Are you talking like Zero or Lelouch right now? Lelouch: It's not like everyone knows about our relationship, right? Kallen * blushes *: Stop saying weird things like that, okay?"
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Just a few days ago I read a phrase on Twitter (or X) that said that the moment preceding the kiss was even more valuable than the kiss itself. That's where you find the so-called sexual tension and Lelouch and Kallen had two moments like that. Three, if you want to tell the dialogue that preceded the kiss in episode 22. I will go into more detail about the kiss and the two almost kisses of Lelouch and Kallen the day I'm going to talk about those things from theory. In fact, I don't want to stop to examine the romantic relationship between Lelouch and Kallen like I said.
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Gino and Kallen never flirted or had intimate moments. At most, they only poked each other in the last Picture Drama, but it was a display of friendly rivalry. No other thing. Pretending that that never happened, there is one moment in particular that I want us to review, as I consider it crucial to explain why this ship doesn't work:
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4. Gino didn't accept Kallen because of who she is. At some point in episode 17, Gino is looking for Suzaku and went to visit Kallen in her cell believing he was there. Instead of leaving, he shows her the photo album he was originally going to show Suzaku and they start talking about him (did I tell you that it makes more sense that Gino would be more romantically interested in Suzaku than in Kallen? I'll tell you again, so). The conversation changes and Gino starts talking about Kallen.
"Gino: I understand that you are half Britannian and half Japanese, right? If you chose the name Stadtfeld instead of Kouzuki, you could have a good life, right? Even become one of the Knights of the Round if you have such ambitions. Kallen: Is this going anywhere? Gino: What I mean is, wouldn't you like to come back to us, Kallen?" What is wrong here? That Gino doesn't understand nor is interested in understanding why Kallen chose to embrace the cause of the Japanese and the Black Knights. Instead, Gino brazenly advises her to abandon everything and join them since life is much more comfortable fighting on Britannia's side (this is the kind of flippant comment that comes from the mouth of a person who is in a position of privilege, if you ask me).
Gino doesn't realize that Kallen's motivations for fighting are tied to her principles and ideals. Therefore, this is like asking Kallen to give up who she is: an ally of justice, a patriotic woman, and a defender of freedom. This reflects a clear disinterest on Gino's part and this is a problem because you can't love someone without knowing them and accepting them for who they are.
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This is in stark contrast to Lelouch. While Gino asks Kallen to turn her back on her beliefs, her values, and the people she cares about (the Japanese and her family), Lelouch prefers to push Kallen away from him rather than force her to give up her principles and her life for him because, for Lelouch, Kallen's well-being and integrity are much more important than being together. This is the true definition of love.
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5. Gino and Kallen don't share principles. A couple doesn't have to be two conjoined twins. They may have different tastes, ways of thinking, preferences, interests, hobbies… If they truly love each other, they will learn to adapt to each other because one doesn't really change who they are for another person. But a couple needs to have, at least, the same values, ideals and life plans (I would add, also certain beliefs). Otherwise, it will be difficult for this relationship to prosper.
Gino is a Knight of the Round and has been an active collaborator in the conquest and colonization of independent nations. He clearly agrees with Britannia's expansionist policy. He has no problem with imperialism or colonialism. Kallen, on the other hand, belongs to the largest insurgent group fighting against Britannia and fighting in the name of freedom, justice and equality. She detests colonialism and imperialism due to her own experience, so she disagrees with expansionism. These discrepancies would prevent Gino and Kallen from having anything (that is, they wouldn't even have been friends).
Only Gino showed some empathy with Kallen, when Lelouch killed the Emperor and usurped the throne, claiming that he finally understood what it feels like to have another come to take power illegitimately and arbitrarily. However, a coup d'état is not the same as colonialism and, of course, this doesn't mean that Gino will change his principles. Only he's going to have a just reason to fight (finally). It would have been better if Gino had apologized to Kallen, but that was an act that required a great deal of effort.
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Lelouch, for his part, is a rebel at heart like Kallen. He may have lied about many things, but he genuinely believes in the ideals that he has preached as Zero and Kallen welcomed them as her own because they fit her values, which are no different from Lelouch's. It's not a coincidence. There is a small parallel between the dramatic situation of the Japanese and that of Lelouch and Nunnally. They were all dispossessed of what they had, including their identity, and forced to live as strangers in their land. Therefore, Lelouch and Kallen are more compatible. Even if they hadn't met in Shijunku, sooner or later their paths would cross over their hatred of Britannia, their contempt for the empire's Social Darwinist ideology, and their desire to change the world (well, this desire would germinate in Kallen once she met to Lelouch who, in turn, would obtain it as soon as he received the Geass).
The same can be said about Lelouch's other ships, by the way. Shirley wants to be a loving wife and have a happy family, CC wants to die (at the end of the series, she is focused on living every small moment of her life to the fullest just like Jamie Foxx's character in Soul) and Suzaku wants to change.the system from within. I won't enter the swampy terrain of reviewing the ideals and values of these characters. It's not my goal.
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In conclusion, Gino and Kallen don't stick with glue or tape. Lelouch is emerging as a more worthy suitor, despite everything. And, therefore, Karen-chan only has eyes for him. Kalulu is better.
PS: of course, a fanfic could correct all of these things. But I don't think it even exists and I'm focusing only on the series, too.
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thetavolution · 5 months
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I'm bringing my Tav-related stuff over here to not overload my regular tumblr haha.
First up is Tessa! More info:
I did borrow a lot of this profile layout from elfinbloodbag.
TESSA
Full name: Theresa Siân Chastain Name meaning:  Theresa: late summer; Siân: God is gracious; Chastain: chestnut Pronouns: She/Her  Race: Human Age: 35 Orientation: Pansexual Romance: Gale Dekarios Class: Rogue Monk Subclass: Thief / Way of the Open Hand Origin: Criminal  Theme song:  I Deserve to Bleed — Sushi Soucy / Used To Be Young — Miley Cyrus
Personality Despite being a professional thief, Tessa is a kind-hearted person. She always overflowing with joyful enthusiasm. Tessa is outgoing and funny. She’s the "mom friend" even if she hates it when people say that. She’s the one who takes care of everybody and tends to them physically and emotionally. Some say she missed her calling as a cleric.
She has a big heart and it’s easy to take advantage of it, especially with a good enough sob story. She has a good-natured sense of humor, but she's not averse to dark humor either. When she’s angry or hurt, or just talking to someone she hates, she can be particularly cold and scathing.
Tessa is far from morally perfect, of course. She’s made peace with stealing, focusing on targets that “deserve” it. That said, she doesn't believe in hoarding wealth. She keeps what she needs (with some left over as a little treat) and spreads the rest of it around to those who might need it.
She can get stuck on things, like an idea or desire. She'll become obsessed with it and remain laser focused on it to a fault.
Once you’re in her good graces, she is ride or die. While intelligent, she can be impulsive. She’ll realize how stupid her actions were after it’s too late to take it back. Going back to her motherly tendencies, she can also go full mama bear when loved ones are threatened.
She’s a romantic at heart and she’s looking for true love. Unfortunately, due to being so eager to find love, she’s jumped into some terrible relationships. Those closest to her will often acknowledge (or joke about) the fact that she overlooks a lot of red flags in the early stages of a relationship. (For Tom Cardy fans, she would be the one to date the person whose favorite film is Human Centipede.)
In her younger years, she was much more of a wild child which often comes back to bite her, especially when former lovers and enemies reappear in her life.
History Tessa was born in Bryn Shander, the largest of the Ten Towns in Icewind Dale. She and her twin brother, Leander, are the youngest of Edgard and Sibyl Chastain's six children. She’s technically the youngest since she was born five minutes after Leander. 
Tessa was raised from birth to be a proficient thief. Her father, Edgard, is a renowned member of the Zhentarim. They mostly focus on stealing and smuggling. Tessa grew up learning to live life in the underbelly of the city. She never knew anything else, even though she always wished she could have the life of a “normal girl.”
She came to Baldur's Gate with her father on Zhentarim business when she was abducted and infected with a tadpole. It was their first time in the city, so the Chastains aren't a familiar face to the local Zhentarim members.
Likes: The thrill of stealing, fighting, helping people, taking care of the poor and the sick, reading, writing, animals (especially dogs/wolves), nighttime, rainy mornings, adventuring, music, and cold weather
Dislikes: Hot weather, hurting good people, nobility/the wealthy, bugs, abuses of power, and cruelty 
Fears: She’s afraid of ending up alone. She’s also afraid she deserves to be alone. She questions if she’s actually a good person on an almost daily basis. She's terrified of growing older and having a life full of regrets. She feels as thought a lot of it has already passed her by.
Quirks: I don’t know if this counts as a quirk, but her left hand is her dominant hand. She likes to tap her foot like a rabbit, even when she isn’t nervous. People often mistake it for a nervous tick. It’s just something she’s always done. She has a loud laugh that she’s insecure about.
Mental Health: Tessa has daddy issues. Her father takes advantage of her and she’s desperate to earn his approval. She ties her self-worth to other people’s opinion of her. She often falls for terrible people because she’s so desperate to be loved. Her father never really showed her what it’s like to be properly cared for, and it shows. She doesn't even realize how bad her self-esteem is.
Favorite Foods: Sun-Dappled Paella and Cranberry Cake
Favorite Drinks: Tea and Brandy
Favorite Flower: Roses
Height:  5’7”/173 cm 
Skin: Beige.
Hair:  Brown but with a slight ginger tint.
Eyes:  Green.
Color Scheme:  Generally, she wears whatever lets her hide in her environment. She wears a lot of blacks, greens, and browns. Back in her hometown, it’s not unusual for her to don white colors to blend into the snow.
When she’s dressing just for herself, she’ll wear blues and greens.
Fashion Sense: She’s mostly practical when it comes to her clothing. As a thief, she can’t really afford to be too gaudy or flashy. Everything she wears has a specific purpose. She is usually hiding behind the Shadow of Menzoberranzan cowl.
In the rare occasions she can dress for the sake of looking nice, she does like to wear intricate gowns. If you’re going to be a criminal, why not enjoy the fruits of your labor and have a nice dress or two?
She does have tattoos, including a rose tattoo on the left side of her neck.
Family: 
Blue — 5. He’s Tessa’s pet winter wolf. He’s intelligent and cunning. He was orphaned by a hunter as a pup before Tessa found and adopted him. Her love and care led to him to be a big teddy bear of a wolf. He's back in Bryn Shander.
Edgard Chastain — 60. Edgard is Tessa’s father and the one who led the entire family down the path of crime. He’s a charismatic guy, but he has his struggles and insecurities. He is plagued by self-loathing and depression, often acting on his worse impulses.
He wants to be liked, but he also wants to be feared as a criminal, putting him in conflict with himself. He can be selfish and self-serving, leading him to betray his loved ones or hurt them deeply. He’s corrupted his relationships with his ex-wife and children over the years. Tessa is desperate to believe he'll change.
Sibyl Lisette Chastain — 60. Sibyl is Edgard’s ex-wife and the mother of Tessa and her brothers. After Edgard cheated on her, she left him. It’s clear Tessa takes after her mother. Sibyl is cheerful, optimistic, and excited to live life. She’s heartbroken when her children repeat Edgard’s mistakes and she can’t stop it from happening. 
She had dreams of becoming a writer, but she fell in love with Edgard when they were both 17. Within months of dating, Sibyl became pregnant. After that, Sibyl became a criminal, losing the ability to pursue her dream career. She continues to write even if she never shares it with anyone.
Conrad Chastain — 40. He’s the eldest Chastain child. He has a somewhat normal life. While he does work in the black market, he has a loving wife and two children. He’s a loving father, calm, and level-headed, but he has a very dad sense of humor.
Flynn Chastain — 38. Flynn is the flirtatious brother and he has several lovers. It’s also likely he has bastard children out in the world he’s never met. 
Gavin Chastain — 37. He’s intelligent, but irresponsible and self-sabotaging. He fears being rejected and failing, so he engages in self-destructive behavior.
Emile Chastain — 36. He’s the quiet Chastain child. He’s not happy with his lot in life, but he doesn’t complain. He always wants to do the right thing, but he’s often scared to say anything that goes “against the family.”
Leander Chastain — 35. He’s Tessa’s twin. He and Tessa grew apart as they became adults. He’s a bard rogue who loves music. Leander is repeating a lot of his father’s mistakes, even if he thinks of himself as better than Edgard. He’s a great thief, but he’s been burning his own bridges and fighting his own demons. He’s a charismatic social butterfly. He hides his demons from Tessa and the rest of his family.
Marta Chastain — 39. She’s Conrad’s loving and doting wife. She works a normal job, keeping the family with one foot in respectable society. She’s a teacher and hides the fact she’s married to a criminal.
Tem Chastain — 11. Tem is Conrad and Marta’s oldest child. He’s a silly and goofy kid who has no idea his father is a thief.
Kara Chastain — 8. Kara is Conrad and Marta’s youngest. She’s a sweet little girl with a mischievous streak.
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drops-of-moonlights · 10 months
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quick thoughts on the new S9 looks
Musa is perfection incarnate 10/10 no notes, she has MESH FUCKING GLOVES A COOL BELT AND PANTS. I will be mourning the loss of her long hair though, I always liked it and it would've been fun if they had tried to make her more masc while still keeping her long hair but also lmao at the idea of Winx making any of the girls more masc-leaning.
Aisha looks amazing as well I love how it's all of her colors and that she has melanin again but I'm still not sold on her now grey eyes. Everything else is great tho.
Flora's succulent jacket FUCKS and it is amazing, but also I wasn't the only one that for a brief second confused her with Darcy right. Like the way she's colored read far more Darcy than Flora to me.
Bloom looks great, she has finally embraced her horse girl status to the fullest she looks like Miley Cyrus in Hannah Montana S4. I of course don't mind the amount of pink she is wearing, as the proudest member of the Pink Bloom Rights movement, but I think they could've used a different shade of pink tbh.
I also love everything about Tecna it's the first time she looks like herself since SEASON FUCKING 5, WHICH WAS ALMOST 11 YEARS AGO AT THIS POINT, but I REAAALLY hope they don't go the "Tecna's an android/robot" route, I feel it cheapens her entire character and also it's the most boring route in all. If it means they're prosthetics tho I'm down for that, I wanna see how they deal with it.
STELLA. STELLA WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU. WHY IS SHE THE MOST GENERIC BLOND CHARACTER I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. I like the sunglasses but also AT LEAST ADD A BELT? PINS??? ANYTHING?????? SHE LOOKS SO UNDERDRESSED COMPARED TO THE REST RAINHOE ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES. Also the pigtails make her look 14 years old I think they should've kept her normal loose hair for this. I do like the bangs tho.
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rekino2114 · 1 month
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How sue miley and tia safalin react to you getting injured
A/N:Let's show the floormasters some love (non death game au)
Sue miley:
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"I will kill whoever did this and laugh at their screams"
"Wait miley no-"
(Random fun fact:I headcanon that miley has a British accent because the first yttd let's play I ever watched gave her one)
The moment she sees you, she instantly goes yandere mode (which is pretty common for her) she demands to know who did this and where she can find them.
When you tell her no one hurt you and you just fell down or something she becomes irritated.
"Did you seriously break your leg just by falling what are you? An idiot?"
She's actually kinda worried about you but she doesn't show it.
She suggests bringing you to safalin to heal you, but you actually want her to take care of you, she acts super annoyed about it telling you how stupid you are but she's secretly glad you chose her.
She's not that good at healing or taking care of you she tries her best.
She carries you a lot, she already does that normally so when you can't walk she'll use any excuse to carry you bridal style.
Tia safalin
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(Sidenote:I actively blushed when I saw this picture, she just looks so fricking pretty, this is exactly how I imagine a non floormaster safalin)
"D-don't worry y/n i-i brought you painkillers, b-bandages, and d-disinfectant"
"Saf I just scraped my knee it's not that big of a deal"
The exact opposite of miley, she worries about you even for the smallest things.
The moment she heard you were hurt she immediately went to you with everything she needed.
Luckily, you couldn't have a better girlfriend for this. She's literally a doctor, and she knows what she's doing and she's more than willing to take care of you.
She loves to cuddle you when you're bedridden, and unlike when you're sick, she can actually do it without consequences.
She likes to cook for you since you can't, she'll cook dishes that might help you feel better.
She's the best at helping you fall asleep whether she cuddles you or just read or talk to you in a soothing voice her whole aura is really relaxing.
She takes you for ice cream when you feel better as a reward for being so strong(she just missed having ice cream with you).
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jmagnabo92 · 5 months
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GGSB Fest 2024 - Day 2 - Can't Dads Come, Too?
@goodgodfathersiriusblack
Prompt - Mommy and Me
Sirius has been struggling as a single dad to baby Harry after the end of the war, so he decides to join a mommy and me class.
AO3
***
Despite getting into the swing of things as he gets used to taking care of his godson in the wake of losing James and Lily, Sirius still felt like there was something Harry was missing.  Given that he has left the wizarding world (to protect Harry), he’s kind of been alone and Harry’s been alone, and they both needed other people in their lives to help move on.
It wasn’t good for them to be isolated.  So, he’s on a mission – to find some way to make some friends and not be so isolated.
So, when Sirius sees a sign for a mommy and me class that meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he decides that exactly what they need.  
It was easy enough to find the class and Harry is giggling happily when he sees all of the kids that he could play with, but before he could put him down and possibly introduce himself, a blonde-haired woman comes up to him.  
“Hi, are you lost?”
“Oh, no.  I’m looking for the mommy and me class – this looks like the right place,” Sirius says, looking around.  There’s kids, mums, and various toys and things meant to entertain kids from a few months to just before primary school.  “Unless I’m wrong.”
“Oh, erm, no, you’re right this is the mommy and me class,” she answers, emphasis on mommy.  “Which means, we’d be happy have your wife with your son here, but not you and your son.”
Sirius frowns.  “Are you saying that I am unwelcome as a single father here?”
“Well, it’s just that it’s meant to be a space for stay-at-home mothers…”
“I am a stay-at-home parent,” Sirius states.  “And Harry and I don’t really have anyone to go through this with, and I’m new to parenting since before I was just his godfather…”
He can see what he’s saying, the implications, dawn on the woman’s face.  “I’m sorry about that, Sir, but –”
“He can join us, can’t he, Carol?” a new voice – another blonde - asks a redhaired woman.  “I mean, despite the name, technically, there aren’t any rules prohibiting a single father from joining.”
The redhead, Carol, smiles and says, “Of course, you can join us.”
“Really?” Sirius asks, hopefully as Harry cheers. 
“Yeah, really?” the first blonde asks.  “I thought this was a mommy class.”
Carol gives her a look.  “It’s my class and I wouldn’t want my brother excluded as a single father, and I don’t think it’s fair to this little cutie to be excluded either, Janet.”
The first blonde, Janet, flushes as Carol reaches up to offer Harry a little high-five.  He cheerfully gives her one – well, half of one, she met him most of the way.  
“That would make us so happy, wouldn’t it, Harry?” Sirius asks.
“Yeah!”
Carol smiles, “Well, then, welcome Harry and…?”
“Sirius,” Sirius states. 
“And Sirius.  We’re almost about to start the class, why don’t you find a seat with Harry and get to know some of the others before we start?”
“That would be lovely, thank you, Carol.”
“You’re quite welcome.”
Sirius is lead over to one of the open bean bag chairs by the other blonde (Melissa), who introduces him to a couple of brunettes, Amber and Katie, and they introduce their son and daughters – Andy, Sandy, and Miley.  He introduces Harry and can’t help smiling at the idea of being other people, again.
The class, itself, ends up focusing on teaching the kids little things with toys as the mums (and Sirius) chitchat along the way.  He’s quite proud of itty bitty Harry when Melissa says, “You know he’s quite advanced for his age.”
“Yeah, well, my best friends stayed home with him for a bit, and when we lost them, I sort of threw myself into teaching him things,” Sirius admits.  He and Harry had spent an endless amount of days just trying to distract themselves from the entire situation and heal a bit.  The loss had affected them both something terrible, and they were clinging together – hence, mommy and me class.  
“It must’ve been difficult, suddenly being a dad,” Amber asks.  
Sirius shrugs.  “Yes and no.  I just thought isolation wasn’t the best, and he’s enjoying the class so…”
“It’s a good idea to bring him, here, I think.”
“I just didn’t expect to cause a bit of a fuss,” Sirius says as he and Harry put some blocks of different shapes in the right holes.  He can see Janet on the other side of the room glaring at him.  
“Don’t mind Janet, she just – she’s a single mum, not by choice – and she kind of resents men right now,” Amber offers.  “Especially any man that is a single dad.”
“She’s already gotten into it with another single dad that called by,” Katie says.  “But unfortunately, Carol is the only one with final say and she wasn’t here that day.  So, he left.”
“We should call him up and invite him,” Sirius states as not looking up from where Harry’s gleefully playing with another toy that is meant to teach numbers.  “Give her something to glare about.”
Katie laughs, “You’re going to be a troublemaker, aren’t you?”
“Naturally, but at least we’re cute, right, Harry?” Sirius asks, tickling him and causing him to giggle.
“Paddy, tickle!”  
Harry attempts to tickle him and Sirius makes a valiant effort to pretend that it’s working by faking his own giggle for several minutes before Carol gets everyone’s attention. 
“Alright, all.  It’s time for the goodbye song.  Please get back into the circle with your kids.”
Everyone scrambles to their original positions and Carol starts the song.  The Goodbye Song was basically saying “Goodbye, Kid name, Goodbye, kid name” until they’ve captured everyone why the bounced and clapped with their kids.  
Once the song was over, they gathered their things and with Harry bundled in his arms, he heads to the door.  “That was fun, wasn’t it, Harry?”
“Yeah!” Harry cheers, although he’s a little bit tired.  
“Wanna come back?”
“Yeah!”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Carol says, interrupting.  “I was hoping the mishap at the start wouldn’t deter you from not returning.”
“Nah, I’m not afraid of a little glaring,” Sirius jokes.  “And I do appreciate you letting us join.  I think it’ll perfect for me and Harry.”
Carol smiles.  “I think so, too.  We’ll see you, Thursday?”
“You bet.”
“Till then.”
He and Harry wave goodbye, and then, they’re on their way home.  
Mission accomplished. 
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frenchgremlim1808 · 2 months
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it might sound weird coming from me but I would honestly prefer a ranmaru mini ep and a hinako one over a kanna mini episode. This might sound shocking to some since I'm a big Kanna fan and I already stated my distaste for ranmaru but yes I would honestly prefer a mini ep about him first.
I think mini ep are an excellent way to give depth to a character make us change our way of seeing them and depenibg their already excellent traits. The kurumada mini ep is truly a masterpiece in my eyes because I already liked kurumada but it really deepened his character in so many way, he wasn't just an angry man. The kai mini ep, oh god the Kai mini ep is so good it made me realise that Kai was probably one of the best written characters in the game. Mini EPs make me like the characters even more, and give them so many layers.
Compared to what people might think I want to like ranmaru, really, I really hope that maybe this mini episode will make me like his character, for now I think that he is a bad person and a boring character, but I want to like him like the rest. Giving depth and explaining why he acts this way that's what I want. Hinako is such an interesting character which we know nothings of, who are you what's your real identity and name. Who are you truly fake hinako. I'm so interested into giving those characters depth complexity to make them truly special. Which I swhy I want characters who I do not care or like that much to get mini episode first before the others.
Kanna is already the best character in the game,I already love her, and having a mini ep will just be a bit of fanservice for me. Kanna does not NEED a mini episode right now, I do think she DESERVES to have one someday, but maybe later.
This is the same reason a Keiji mini episode would be useless I think, I know he will get one but we already know everythings about that guys. I know he will get one since he's the writer pet but still he does not NEED one immediately.
So yes nankidai please do mini episodes on characters that really need it, to give them depth such as Joe, hayasaka, Miley, ranmaru, fakehinako,mai etc.
BUT YTTS KANNA IS STILL MY ONLY HOPE IN LIFE I NEEED IT SO BADDDDD
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