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lokiusly · 5 months

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marvel studios isn’t letting Owen Wilson be interviewed about Loki because they know he will confirm Lokius in the first minute

#mans is NOT playing #Owen doesn’t gaf and that terrifies marvel studios #lokius #mobius #loki season 2 #loki show #loki x mobius #loki spoilers #mcu loki #mobius m mobius #loki laufeyson #loki

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brawnie · 2 months

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*grabbing mlm shippers by the shoulders* guys nobody needs to be the twink. nobody needs to be the sub. nobody needs to be the femboy. they can both be big fat hairy men who bask in each others masculinity or they can both be unspeakable monstrous creatures with inhuman genitalia it’s okay I’m holding your hand. Let me show you the way

#shipping #this is about a lot of ships #so I’m gonna tag a few #zosan #zolu #destiel #radioapple #I’m not saying you can’t play around with these themes man #I just feel like they’re shoehorned in so often #lawlu #davekat #pepsicola #sabriel #lgbt #fandom #dirkjake #10k #20k #1k

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corvid-khaos · 6 months

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fionna and cake but simon drops increasingly wild anecdotes about his life

#fionna not knowing anything about him is so damn funny bc she will say shit like ‘relax i’ve played a lot of post apocalyptic RPGs’#COMPLETELY unaware #boring my ass this man is 1058 years old lived thru a nuclear apocalypse was a crazy ice wizard for a while was almost digested by cthulhu #he’s anything BUT boring #he just doesn’t say shit lmao #fionna and cake #adventure time #atimers #fionna and cake fanart #adventure time fanart #fionna campbell #simon petrikov #princess bubblegum #cake the cat

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et-in-arkadia · 8 months

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this is such incredible advice for creating any kind of art i have to put it over here to remind myself

#thanks michael #this is also like #devastating in a way #like thinking of him playing aziraphale #with aziraphale desperate to be alive #to connect to breathe to see to touch #michael giving all of that over in his performance so that aziraphale can live again through him #i’m mortally wounded #michael sheen #good omens #fucking michael sheen man #creativity

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phantomrose96 · 7 months

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Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

#fma #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood #fma:b #literally anything about the dynamic between edward and the amestrian government is so so so funny to me #im begging you to come pick up your alchemist he keeps committing treason #Roy: absolute perfect ass-kisser and career-man playing the part 24/7 to disguise his treasonous ambitions and still #not flying under the radar #Edward on his public Twitter: bored. might tear down the Amestrian government for fun.

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queerasflux · 9 months

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man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.

I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"

it's just... lonely and sucks bad.

#I'm fine #just had a sort of blegh night with some people I'm playing dnd with #not a big deal but man the way I interact with neurodivergent people vs neurotypical people is like speaking two languages #except I'm only fluent in one of them and keep accidentally insulting people in the other #I'm just trying to make friends irl #flux's bullshuit #neurodivergent #autism #adhd #audhd #audhd things #audhd problems

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bulletsgirl · 2 years

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ppl who werent changed forever by youre gonna go far kid by the offspring when they were like 11 and insanely impressionable you just cant understand me

#SLOWLY OUT OF LINE AND DRIFTING CLOSER IN YOUR SIGHTS #SO PLAY IT OUT IM WIDE AWAKE ITS A SCENE ABOUT ME #THERES SOMETHING IN YOUR WAY AND NOW SOMEONE IS GONNA PAY #AND IF YOU CANT GET WHAT YOU WANT WELL ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME #NOW DANCE FUCKER DANCE MAN I NEVER HAD A CHANCE #AND NO ONE EVEN KNEW IT WAS REALLY ONLY YOU #AND NOW YOULL LEAD THE WAY #SHOW THE LIGHT OF DAY #NICE WORK YOU DID #YOURE GONNA GO FAR KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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anotherdarkiboi · 8 months

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List of Astarion's Terms of Endearment

This is for the fanfic writers haha. Tell me if I'm missing any so can add it in!

Darling (his most used)

My love, love

My sweet

“You sweet, generous thing”, “you sweet little thing”

Lover

My dear, a dear, dear

Beautiful

Cheeky little pup

My little treat ("-with their cheeks all flushed")

Sweetie

Pet

You wicked little thing (affectionate)

"You're a sweetheart", "you sweetheart"

Delectable little pet (not directed towards Tav but it easily could be)

My friend (yay, we're his friend)

My favorite traveling companion (not a pet name but it's nice to be his favorite)

My leaking blood-bag (technically you refer to yourself as that first and he calls you his one after, but it counts)

You little scoundrel

Edit: Thank you everyone in the comments for adding the Dark Urge ones!

Bhaal-babe (I'm dead, this silly pun I swear)

My sweet, bloodthirsty friend

My precious little Bhaal-babe

My conflicted villain

My dagger-happy friend

Bonus: Ascended Yandere Astarion

My pet, pet

Little love

Precious thing

My treasure

My consort, My Dark Consort

My favorite spawn

Insolent little- (the Dev's notes say that the full line is "you insolent little brat" which, um...)

Insolent little pup (the line was in EA, although I’m not entirely sure if it’s Ascended Astarion. Full line: “you are an insolent little pup, aren’t you?”)

"You ingrate" (When you try to break up with him. It's not really a pet name, but-)

"Property I cherish, but still my property" (his thoughts)

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion romance #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldur's gate iii #astarion ancunin #bg3 spoilers #astarion x tav #astarion x mc #astarion x reader #astarion x you #dnd #I am so fucking Normal about this man #Props to Neil Newbon and the writers and artists for bg3 making me fall for a character from a game I never played

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kxsalt · 1 month

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Meeting Daddy’s friends for the first time, but you’re completely naked because he wants to show off his new pet.

Daddy’s friends taking photos of your little body to jerk off to later.

Daddy’s friends talking about all the dirty things they would force you to do if you weren’t owned.

Daddy’s friends laughing at all his stories about the icky kinks you do just to get his attention.

You cry in embarrassment because you thought those stories would be your dirty little secret and now everybody knows you’re a whore.

Daddy spanking you for crying in front of all his friends.

Daddy showing off how many toys you can fit in your little holes at once, and Daddy smacking your tits for cumming without permission.

Daddy letting each of his friends pull a toy out of your needy pussy, and Daddy slapping your cheeks each time you let a toy come out.

You try to hide and make yourself small while still showing everybody your fuckholes, because Daddy told you to.

Half of them go out for a smoke and Daddy makes you promise that you won’t suck cock or get fucked while he’s gone, because you’re just for him to use.

Daddy’s friend forcing your legs apart and shoving his cock into your wet pussy the second he leaves.

Daddy’s friend cumming inside of you as you beg him not to because only Daddy is supposed to breed you.

You cry, and try to clean the cum out of your pussy with your hands before Daddy gets back.

Daddy sees that you’ve been crying and spanks you as punishment again.

Daddy finds your creampied pussy and uses his belt to punish you for disobeying him.

Daddy pouring another drink and laughing with his friend that fucked you because it’s not his fault you’re a slut.

Daddy’s friends slowly start to leave for the night, and he makes you give each of them a hug and a kiss. They grope you while they squeeze your body and play with your tongue when they kiss you.

Daddy’s friend who used you whispers in your ear that the next time he gets you alone he’ll break you on his cock.

Once everyone’s gone, Daddy puts on your leash and walks you to the bedroom. There, he uses you for anal sex because your pussy is still full of his friend’s cum.

After he finishes, Daddy puts you in your cage to sleep. You were misbehaving all night, and naughty girls don’t get to sleep in the bed.

Cum trickles from your used holes as you curl up in your cage, hoping that Daddy’s friends liked you.

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lilybug-02 · 7 months

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Limited clothing options. True story.

#kris staying in the same clothes every day is so funny to me #of course it makes sense in a game play standpoint but man it’s so funny when characters just stay in the same clothes every day #truly enjoy it so much man #bread #deltarune #kris #art #my art #comic #mini comic #deltarune comic

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edwardashley · 24 days

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#whike Rivers if Babylon played…#made me insane #monkey man #dev patel

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skizabaa · 9 months

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The newest member of the DJ crew! A... Furby?

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wisebeth · 2 months

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percy : casually strangled a snake as a toddler.

yall :

percy : defeats the minotaur with his bare hands at the age of 12 with no training at all.

yall :

percy : fights and defeats the literal god of war with only a few weeks of training, again, at 12.

yall :

percy : holds the weight of the entire sky at the age of 14.

yall :

percy : carries a literal goddess on his shoulders.

yall :

percy : gets judoflipped by his best friend who is professionally trained and sparred with him for years. where he wasn't even hurt or injured and casually laughs it off.

yall : she aSsAuLtEd him. annabeth is aBuSiVe. percabeth is tOxIc.

#percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #hoo #annabeth #annabeth chase #percabeth #i don't know how to explain this #but percy's physical strength + demigod training makes him twice as strong as an average man #a judoflip is basically child's play

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lunian · 4 months

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