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ktempestbradford · 2 months

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I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

#long post #Willy Wonka #Wonka #Willy Wonka Experience #Willy Wonka Experience disaster #Willy's Chocolate Experience #Willys Chocolate Experience #THE UNKNOWN #Wish.com Oompa Loompa #House of Illuminati #AI #ai generated

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onewholivesinloops · 9 months

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battler's conversation with eva in ep1 after the first twilight is very loaded bc eva and hideyoshi are the ones who get bought off this episode, and eva goes out of her way to tell battler that kinzo must've had shannon or someone else dress up as beatrice to trick maria and hand her the letter about the epitaph, that one of the servants must be the perpetrator bc the garden shed's shutter is always locked and they were able to find its sole key in the servant room among all the others keys even though it has no name tag meaning the culprit must've known the layout of the mansion pretty well, that all of servants must be in on it bc it'd be difficult for one person to assault this many people and move the bodies then paint a magic circle in such a short amount of time alone, and that there must be a mastermind bc the word 'servant' literally means to serve someone, so it's eva literally spelling out the entire solution of umineko to him (which reads heavily as eva rebelling against sayo presumably bc she doesn't trust the deal they made or something btw)

battler is dismissive of this line of thought though bc he thinks it's 'too easy' and he keeps tormenting himself by running in circles by 'spinning the chessboard around' (which is a way of thinking that is always predicated on the assumption that everyone is acting in ways to achieve the greatest strategic advantage in every possible situation except only kyrie does this and sayo is doing the complete opposite lol), wondering why the culprit would make decisions that aren't optimal when sayo's intent was always to create a fair mystery that follows knox and leave clues behind bc she wants battler to solve it and understand her, and battler also refuses to engage with a real crime as a mystery and even quotes higurashi about how without a beginning the mystery would never start, so he assumes that the bodies being found must mean the servants aren't the ones behind it bc it casts the suspicion on them (which is something sayo is aware of, and even though she presents him as the detective and her opponent in this game which is reminiscent of when they discussed mysteries together as kids, she knows he can't treat this like a game which makes this an uphill battle for him)

battler isn't stupid however and he immediately realizes that eva must be involved bc she's the only one who didn't lose anyone, and yet it takes battler so long to realize the truth of everything bc he wants to believe in others and love them even when they're messy bc he refuses to give up on the idea that it's not his family and denies that the people he knows could do this while still refusing the fantasy solution, so he can't allow the murderer to be a person and it needs to be someone else that this inherently witch is disguised as, which is why to learn the truth battler needed to see the humanity behind the witch first

in many ways battler is similar to keiichi and even echoes the same thoughts but he's also the opposite? keiichi is tormented by his conflict over whether should trust his friends or not, but he ultimately succumbs to the belief that they're monsters or possessed by something supernatural until he learns to trust them in the answer arcs, as opposed to battler who's also conflicted over whether he should trust his family or not, but is in denial about the prospect of his family ever being involved in something like this while also refusing to entertain the idea of something supernatural, which is how you arrive at battler making ridiculous arguments about devil's proof and inventing an extra person to suspect that is neither one of the 18 nor a witch, which is rightfully memed, but it's deeply human and heartbreaking bc battler is someone with a desperate need to love and believe in others, and that's also something that puts him in the best position to understand beatrice in episode 5...

#umineko #gamo.txt

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atomic-taco-muffin · 1 year

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May I please have marluxia larxene xaldin xemnas ansem Lexuas and vexen (separate if possible) with a fem S/O who helps them with every day things (for example xaldin and his s/o baking in the kitchen together) thank you and here's some cookies and cake ^^

You got it!

Some of the Organization with a Fem!Helper S/O

Warnings: Pure cloud made fluff

Rating: SFW

Xemnas:

This man overworks himself a LOT

If you thought Saïx was the one who overworked himself the most, think again. This one does

Being a king of an Organization does come easily to him

But thankfully, he has his queen to keep him company and to tell him to take a break

He loves it when you come in with a cup of tea and kiss his temples, telling to take a break

And he always listens to you

Ansem:

This man loves it when you help out with the triplets (if you’ve been following me for a while, you would know about my headcanon between him and the Twilight Town trio)

And his kids love you too. They see you as the mom they never had

Pence even convinced Ansem to buy an engagement ring

Now, they just have to plan the perfect moment for him to propose to you

Xaldin:

Xaldin loves having you in the kitchen with him

Even if you don’t know how to cook, he can always teach you how

You will learn a lot from him.

From making something as simple as cookies to a four course meal

And he always makes sure that you eat something healthy.

Lexaeus:

Lexaeus is kind of the quiet one (mostly because Nomura didn’t give a lot of lines!)

Which is fine cause he enjoys the quiet moments with you

Whether is napping in the garden or just reading in the library.

Does not matter with him

As long as he’s with you, he’s happy

Vexen:

(I’m sorry but this was the funniest scene ever!)

Vexen likes it when you help him out in his lab

Whether it’s helping him with an experiment or just clearing off his table to make work easier

Doesn’t really matter to him

Just as long as you are being safe.

Things can get a little crazy in there

Marluxia:

Omg, helping him out in his garden is the BEST

Even if you don’t know anything about horticulture (great. Now I miss taking horticulture)

He will teach all the correct ways to collect fruits and vegetables along with how to care for them

Same thing goes with his flowers.

He’ll even sneak one into your hair

Larxene:

Okay, y’all know that one meme where these girls are doing their makeup

Y’know. This one:

Yeah that’s you two

She LOVES it when you do her makeup

She’ll even help you with yours

The two of you are always rocking these stunning looks and making everyone jealous of how cool you look

(why can’t she be real?!)

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mariellewritesalot · 5 months

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14 Going on 24: To All the Girls I've Been Before

Sometimes I still feel like a teenager in my twenties.

Except not really, because I turn 24 in a few days and I find myself in a small town in Sevilla, Spain with my own apartment just a 6-minute walk from the high school I'll be working in for a school year. I'm doing adult things, like going to the local bakery to order a cake for myself and two boxes of pastries to share with the faculty, paying my own bills, cooking all my meals, booking train tickets for the holidays, and reserving a table at a restaurant in full Spanish without panic. My real teenage self had different dreams fed to her by the innate trophy-daughter urge to please her parents: go to law school, find a nice Catholic boy to marry, and stay in the Philippines forever.

You might have seen it on social media, the teenage girl in her twenties meme. It's a revival of everything we've ever loved growing up as girls together. It's a nice thing, this reclamation of girlhood. An attempt to somehow heal our inner children and reminisce on the times when we were only imagining what it would be like to be an adult. The mythical womanhood. A real 13 going on 30 dilemma. I wish we weren't in such a rush to grow up, but that's the irony of it all. As a grown woman, I often wonder about the girl I was, because despite all this I know I will never be her again.

She was ambitious, naive, too nice, but also a little arrogant it intimidated a lot of people with whom she could have been really good friends. I try to think fondly of the girl I was, and I honor her by preserving some of her interests that will never really go away, even now. I remember every young adult series I was ever obsessed with, alongside the sitcoms with each season I had saved on my netbook. I used to make physical mix CDs and now I curate Spotify playlists. I still get a little excited when a One Direction song plays out of the blue. I hear an indie song from years ago, like now as I type this while Cigarette Daydreams by Cage the Elephant is playing, and wish I could hear it for the first time again. I see old Facebook posts made by teenage me and chuckle at her drama. I unironically consume the Twilight Saga media when I feel a little sad, no matter how cringy people make it out to be. I love pink, books, letters, and stickers. I know every High School Musical song by heart. I have a weirdly specific knowledge of R&B and Hip-hop songs inherited from my brothers. I pray the same prayer at night, the one taught by my parents when I still shared a bedroom with them until I was fifteen.

A little confession: sometimes, despite loving the fact that I am wildly independent, I still miss having my mother around; even if it means having the occasional petty fights. Along with the tiny resentments of never fully living up to the image in her head, failing some of the dreams she also had as a girl, and rejecting the projection. I'm the most stubborn person I know, but sometimes I wish I could crawl under her table at her old office as I did so many times before, and cry before taking that nap I so vehemently refused but always took.

I look at old photos of myself as a teen and wish I was kinder to that girl, so I could unlearn the mean things I think about myself on occasion. One night on a casual doomscroll on Twitter, I read something along the lines of us seeing different versions of ourselves over the years and yearning for those times, how we never fully appreciate the current version until they become another face in a photo from years ago. A memory you didn't know you'd create.

I think about the people I had in my life then: friends, mentors, crushes, classmates, crappy boyfriends (ugh), and want to forgive her for the poor life decisions. She was forgiving to a fault after all, but she still makes me so proud when I remember how she learned her boundaries and stuck with them in the most crucial moments. The ones who were meant to stay are still with me to this day, the others who left have also left their mark on this version of me now, in some way. Some people have already arrived and others I'm looking forward to meeting soon. The growing pains feel especially potent as I continue to learn that change is constant and that sometimes who or what I want isn't necessarily good for me. The universe makes it known too often; I have to learn it by heart at some point.

Ultimately, I'd like to think she'd be so proud of me. Maybe, I turned out better than she hoped. I could also be such a stranger to her, a disappointment; her preparation for the real world. I still have a lot of work to do before I'm the adult she would have trusted and aspired to be, but knowing I'm on that path makes me confident that I can handle my problems like a grown-up. Being in my early twenties is to straddle the line between too young and too old, wanting to always do the mature thing, but sometimes still feeling like I'm a kid playing the role of someone who has it together. I don't. I don't think anyone does, really, not even older adults I know with much more interesting stories and problems. I try not to control everything and let things be because sometimes it's the only thing to do. Plans do fail, but somehow, things always work out for the better.

When I think of that transition from being just a girl to an adult with actual consequences, I remember Rory Gilmore crying in front of her grandfather at the end of Gilmore girls season 5; when she realized that she was no longer the golden child she was, but a young adult that might not be good enough for all of her aspirations.

I think about such tender moments of my girlhood, all the times I was teased for being chubby or having curly, unruly hair that earned me nicknames like Lion King or Hagrid. The first time I ever wore eyeliner to a family Christmas party, an uncle commented with such disdain, thinking I was doing it for attention. I'm weirdly familiar with terms like "malandi" or its English variations, even when I was just being friendly. In my first high school relationship, people gossiped about how my then-boyfriend was only with me so he could get higher grades, not for my looks. I know how they talked about a relationship they knew nothing about, completely overlooking how much I was hurt by this boy they adored just because he played some sport. I remember being a teenager, learning what it means to be attracted to another person romantically, and having a relative tell my mom, "Marielle's so into boys, ano?" even when I was single at the time and didn't really care for anything but starting college. There were weird older men who were creeps, and yet somehow I was made out to be some kind of a mastermind that lured them in. I was just a girl.

The beauty and innocence of girlhood are also marred by these moments of misogyny, sadly looking like a rite of passage every girl I know has gone through--one way or another.

At 16, all the pain I felt then felt like the rest of my life. A few days shy of 24, I realize that some pains are just too great that they will always stay, faintly, but life is so ridiculously unpredictable that there is no way we'll live on without incredible moments to show for it.

I look back on the year I just had in disbelief because so much has happened, most of them completely unexpected while others were dreams I worked hard to make my reality. I finished my undergraduate thesis on Filipino food and restaurants in the Filipino-American diaspora and graduated Magna Cum Laude from UP Diliman. I was in love with someone who I thought fit me so perfectly and felt the full aftermath of that heartbreak, lamented the impossibility of long-distance relationships, and believed I'd never do better; only to discover more about myself in the next few months and move on to a more beautiful love I never thought possible. I got into the 61st Silliman University National Writers Workshop, on my first (and could have been last, because I didn't know then when I'd be back in the PH) try, and spent two magical weeks in Dumaguete learning more about writing with the most amazing group of writers I now consider another chosen family.

I also outgrew some close friends. I had to process this unworldly form of devastation by going through all the stages of grief a million times over. I've reflected on what I can do better to nurture my relationships, and grown more appreciative of the unconditional friendships I have that continue to withstand time. I kept learning Spanish for two years and moved to Spain to explore more opportunities. It's been one of the most interesting years of my life so far, the emotions rising and falling like waves that sometimes consumed me whole. I've been through so much in year 23 that I'm both thrilled and horrified for the big 24, a year away from my expected quarter-life crisis.

I've always loved birthdays, by the way, and maybe I'll move on from it the older I get. I always look forward to the sweet messages and spending time with my friends and family. I like welcoming another year as an opportunity for me to try and do better. For this year, though, I don't have solid plans. It's on a Monday and I have classes to teach until 2:30pm. I reserved a cake with flowers all around it and a dedication written in Spanish, something the lady at the bakery wrote for me. I might take a few pictures with my film camera, invite some work colleagues for drinks, and cook Filipino spaghetti the way my mom does it. Maybe I'll call her, think of the ending to the movie, Lady Bird (2017). I could take the bus to the city center or enjoy a nice dinner alone with my Kindle. I might take calls from my friends and cry over their messages, miss everyone a little deeper.

I'll never be the girl I was, but she's still inside me somewhere. There's comfort in the growth. How to Say Goodbye by Paul Tiernan is playing through my laptop speakers. Someday, I'll look back to this time and remember what it felt like to anticipate my 24th birthday in Spain: a little lonely, slightly thrilling, and inevitably different.

I'll be changed, but not really--and it will be okay.

#mariellewritesalot #daily life blog posts #24th #birthday essay #girlhood

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tiltedsyllogism · 1 year

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first-lines-of-fic meme! I was tagged by @reginaldbright (thank you!)

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway!

Starting with the most recent and working backward:

Knowing He Hath Wings, For All Mankind, 2k

“Fido?” calls Margo, through the headset. Deke’s stomach tightens, the way it always does during the final go/no go roll call. Tiril’s claws dig slightly into his shoulder, and there’s the old familiar rustling in his ear as she resettles her feathers. They’re good at hiding any visible signs of nervousness. Still, someone with a lot of practice reading a hawk daemon might be able to see in Tiril what Deke is keeping out of his own face.

2. Yes, We Were Trembling, For All Mankind, 1.5k

“All right, pipe down,” Molly says as she walks into the astronaut training room, the way she always does. She plays it informal, like she’s too cool for the rules, but she’s a hardass underneath.

3. The War at Home, Sherlock, 18k (and counting)

London was grey, through the window, and it was cold in the cab. On the seat next to him, Sherlock’s phone beeped, finally. He snatched it up and thumbed in the security code John had demanded he start using after the thing with the smugglers last month.

4. Why Wait Any Longer For the World to Begin, For All Mankind, 3k

Patty’s as sharp in the cockpit as she was ten years ago, but she’s let herself get rusty at pool. Molly cleaned her clock their first couple of times at the Outpost and drank her way through the evening on Patty’s dime. But tonight, finally, the old Patty Doyle has shown up again.

5. Leave it to Memory Me, Sherlock, 2.5k

“I’m going out for a bit,” John says. “Where?” Sherlock asks softly, without meaning to.

6. Voskresenie, For All Mankind, <8k

Margo spends six days not knowing. First it’s a helicopter to Havana, then a jet to Minsk, then a pinched little train cabin to cement-block outskirts of Moscow, then the backseat of a shiny black Lada, all in the company of two of those large, silent glaring men the Soviets seem to have so many of. All throughout the jostle of travel, she wonders and frets: did Kelly Baldwin make it safely to the Phoenix?

7. Always in This Twilight, For All Mankind, 8.5k

The lobby bar at the Imperial is crammed full. Many faces, Sergei knows; there are others that are familiar in general, if not in particular. It is a game to play, every year, on the shuttle from the airport: who of these strangers in suits is also going to IAC, and who is simply a businessman or pleasure traveler.

8. Cannonball, the Witcher, 4k

“No,” says Calanthe, without turning around.

9. Unmade, the Witcher, 7.5k

Yennefer retches, again, and spits into the privy. Next to her, Anica places a tentative hand on her back, then quickly withdraws it when Yennefer shivers. “What are you going to do?” she asks, half-whispering.

10. In the Symphony of Disagreement, Hacks, 2k

“So what is it with you and antiques?” Ava asks, from her perch on what she always calls the loose butthole couch. She’s playing idly with her empty soda glass, and watching Deborah intently. She’s been doing more of that lately.

tagging @fireandsoup, @laiqualaurelote, @persiflager, @nakedmonkey, @thronealigned, @merripestin, @lavinia-pfigg, @peachpulpeuse, @ossacordis and @thatworldinverted.

#fic meme #my fic #for all mankind #the witcher #twn #bbc sherlock #hacks hbo #kind of surprising to realize that #mfmm #did not make it onto this list #since that's the canon I'm most likely to write for again #(other than FAM. obviously. OBVIOUSLY)#once this Sherlock WIP is done #oh also #I did fudge the first entry on this list ever so slightly #so sue me

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friendlyfaded · 1 year

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miles!!!!

consider: sam/guy

Coming right for my heart with two of my all-time favorite boys, aren't we? Bet.

While Sam does work extremely well with reckless messes, he would also pair nicely with a comfort character. Guy might be chaotic and extra, but he stays out of trouble and offers tons of love and affection. He would bring the perfect amount of excitement and chaos to Sam's life without tipping over into dangerous habits. He would make sure Sam always knows exactly how valid and genuinely good he is. There would never be a day when Guy doesn't come home after work, flop onto Sam, and tell him how much he missed him. It would be such a direct contrast to the relationship Sam had with Alexis, and I think that would be good for him.

We don't have a huge amount of information on Guy just yet, but we do know some general truths. He's an entity of chaos and mischief, always ready with memes and teasing. He works hard at his job, which tends to be thankless. He's extremely loyal and loving. He has major golden retriever energy. He loves to cuddle and be close to his partner.

Going down the line, Sam vibes so well with chaotic partners. For fifteen years, his life has been confined to patrolling WonderWorld and going to clan meetings. He didn't get out much, as far as we know. He needs some excitement in his life. He's also forty, so Guy would have so much fun memeing on him when he doesn't get the references. Sam still doesn't know what a skrinkly little skrungle is, but he knows that's his name in Guy's phone.

Sam is an endless source of validation and care. He's always there to be Guy's mother hen when he works too hard or takes on too much. He would be more than happy to massage away the backaches from having to drive all day, or play with his hair to relieve the headaches that food service work always seems to come along with. He would also be ready to use magic to ease the aches and pains of the day.

Sam is similarly loyal. He tends to be extremely honest and kind. He told Alexis as soon as she started catching feelings that he wanted to end things between them, which must have been difficult, but it was an important step for him to take. He doesn't get involved with people unless he knows it's what he wants, and he doesn't let go of what he wants easily. He would make sure Guy is always taken care of and loved, no matter what.

I don't care what anyone says, Sam deserves a puppy partner. Whether that be Darlin', with their German Shepherd vibes, or Guy, who is the poster child for golden retriever boyfriends everywhere, he deserves that kind of love. Every time Sam comes home from a clan meeting or patrol, I can see Guy jumping up off the couch and running over, helping him take his shoes off and asking about his day. He'd be happy to follow Sam around the house and talk about anything and everything, not letting the large house go quiet. He would make sure Sam never feels alone.

Sam and Guy are both huge on cuddling. This is a canon fact. It is also a fact that Guy is usually the one being held. I can't think of many things Guy would like more in this scenario than being held, safe and secure, in the strong arms of his vampire boyfriend. And on the same token, Sam would be so content napping with Guy laying on top of him, his head on his chest, feeling the warmth and weight of the one he loves most on him. It would be incredibly grounding and comforting.

Finally, Guy would find Sam being a vampire so insanely hot and you cannot tell me otherwise. Of course, the Twilight jokes would be insufferable, but Sam loves his idiot too much to actually be mad. Besides, kissing him is a great way to shut him up when he starts going on about dating "irl jasper hale" or whatever. It would take Sam a hot minute to realize that Guy is serious when he says he loves the idea of Sam feeding on him. It's just such a different perspective than what he's encountered in the empowered world, but it's refreshing.

All in all, 10/10. I love them together.

#redacted rarepairs #redacted asmr #rarepairs with prof

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danwhobrowses · 2 years

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The Rings of Power - Eps 3&4 Review

After two episodes delivering a solid start, the ball returns in Amazon's corner to deliver on the Rings of Power. Since I'm doing 2 a time with HotD I decided to do it with RoP

Spoilers for the Episodes

Right so Episode 3 and 4 of Rings of Power were alright, it seemed to follow a similar pattern to the last two, with 4 being better than 3.

I do feel myself a bit more lenient towards the show now that I am aware that the showrunners can't take anything from the Silmarillon, due to the Tolkein estate not letting anyone have the rights to it, but that doesn't mean there are some lore points going another direction that I don't quite feel good about.

Starting with the stuff I didn't like, I must admit part of why I didn't quite enjoy episode 3 was the express attention on the plot lines I felt were weak in 1&2. Again I find myself frustrated by Galadriel benefitting from being hostile - and very un-Galadriel-like, she is far from the radiant, wise, almighty student of Maia; the greatest elf mage in Noldor after Faenor, master of divination and worthy wielder of Nenya - and then acting smug and patronizing to every man (race not gender, just to be clear). Queen Regent Míriel also has that energy, but in episode 4 we better understand her hostility.

I didn't quite like the 'drama for the sake of drama', especially with Elendil and his kids, Bronwyn being unable to speak sense into the villagers too is annoying, of course she's in charge she's the one who got them all out: you don't piss off the medic. Númenor's conflict with the elves isn't quite fleshed out given how it's a show-only narrative, it just feels like a lazy choice to make the Númenoreans suddenly untrusting towards elves, despite the fact that Númenor went to Gil-Galad to help teach the Twilight Men.

I will say that episode 3 was also a bit self-indulgent on two moments; Galadriel's slow-mo horse riding didn't do it for me, I think the Elves' attempt to escape the tunnel had too much flippydoos too, there's grace and there's just trying to look flashy, it is really a matter of quality over quantity there. While we're at the attempted prison escape, the Warg...another big oof of a CGI attempt, I get what they were trying to do, but god did it just look wrong, again, quality over quantity is the matter here.

I do have to point out my continued disdain for Theo, he is very much a dumb-dumb with this sword storyline and petulance towards his mother, he's also just that extra little bit greedy. But my final criticism returns back to Galadriel, I made a meme of it in the 'spoilers out of context' but the whole 'symbol is Mordor' reveal was laughably stupid. Elrond can spy on Durin's conversation bridges away but Galadriel can't look at a symbol from the side? No Elven ciphers and archivists ever considered just turning it 90 degrees? Also why didn't Galadriel's company check the Southlands again? They've spent a millenia scouring Middle Earth for a whiff of orc but they didn't consider going where Morgoth's old allies were? Seems like the first place you would go.

But on the plus side, I do appreciate that 3&4 are putting in work to try and bring to life the weaker plots so far. I will admit I do find myself more interested in Arondir's subplot, his pain of losing his fellow elves trying to escape did make him more intriguing as a character, and by proxy his plot becomes interesting through learning the Orcs' subplot and of the mysterious Benjen, I mean, Adar.

We do have to appreciate how the show manages their exclusive characters in a way that we all are second guessing if it's just Sauron in another shape or form, in a way it does help add to the villain building that he could indeed be anyone even book readers are unfamiliar with, as it fits how Sauron maneuvers in this age.

Elendil and Isildur - man never stood a chance with the ring he's already hearing voices! - are welcome new additions, the sister Earien needs a bit more time but a plot seems to be forming there. Given that this will promise developing them into Kings vital to the Last Alliance. Halbrand's time on Númenor was interesting, especially his violent side, I doubt we are indeed finished with him too, at least I hope not. The Númenor subplot has breathed some life into the Galadriel plot, but I admit that it was late into episode 4 to win me over, thanks to the stunning visuals of the falling petals and triumphant music to Queen Regent Míriel's U-Turn.

While Theo is an idiot, his subplot also started turning a corner late with this hidden Sauron acolyte - who is more interesting than Theo already - and the promise of wider importance with the hilt (that only seems to make a blade with blood rather than just drawing the iron from blood) blending with the Adar and Arondir plot once more. The orcs returning to practical is great too, and Theo stealthing through the village at night (while another idiot move) did remind me of the old Fellowship of the Ring game when stealthing past the Nazgul.

The stronger storylines also remain strong; the Harfoot storyline is still the most Tolkein-esque to me; curious and adventurous with enough whimsy and core themes of kindness, but we took some time to make Poppy Proudfellow more likable - sympathising with the loss of her entire family in one landslide, but also still staying back to support Nori - and apply some leniency via Lenny Henry's Sadoc. The Elrond/Celebrimbor/Durin plot is also among the most fleshed and best acted of the show, Durin is just great really as is Disa and Elrond. While Celebrimbor could use a bit more screentime, the plot doesn't really demand it until his forge is made, so it does fall to this trio to maintain the elements of friendship, conflict and secrets. Introducing Mithril into the mix is an interesting play, but I am more curious as to why Durin feels that Elrond is hiding something from him - since so far, Elrond doesn't really know why Celebrimbor needs the Forge, his job is just to make sure it's built.

The visuals remains perhaps the one thing Rings of Power has miles ahead of HotD, Númenor was amazing, even the Orc tunnels had its own distinct aesthetic, and there are clear vibrancy and usage of light and dark. The music is getting there too, sometimes it is tame but other times it's great.

Overall it's still solid stuff, we're progressing, but there is a wall still here that needs to be broken through.

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gonewiddershins · 1 year

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I posted 5,383 times in 2022

10 posts created (0%)

5,373 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

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I tagged 5,370 of my posts in 2022

#this amuses me - 1,559 posts

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Longest Tag: 109 characters

#every twilight/thorn princess fanart i see is so hot and/or serious – something straight out of a mafia movie

My Top Posts in 2022:

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 3 of 7)

18. your least favorite book ever

One of the effects of being a shameless DNF-er is how I don't really have least favorite books. Because they can't be my least fave if I drop them halfway through and go and happily read something else instead. Least favorite book (singular) ever is even worse- why on earth would I read a book I loathe that much? The only answer is "Buddy Reads" and even for that I have drawn lines I will Not Cross. And even if those lines were crossed, I feel uncomfortable rating that book as "the worst" because making me read something I don't like makes me very, very mad and that naturally spills over to my feelings about the actual book.

So I skimmed through Goodreads and randomly picked a book that made me mad enough that I remembered being mad to this day. This actually means the book had potential, because I tend to forget books which had no redeeming features whatsoever. But this is also the third draft of this answer so it's what you're getting. (There is actually book I dislike more than this one, but that's getting saved for the un-recommend question.)

Tangled by Emma Chase is an office romcom. And it would probably be pretty entertaining (my tastes they are so low) if (a) the author did not decide that swearing was an inherently funny action and used it to indicate idk- something positive about the male lead, (b) it weren't for the unquestioned gender essentialism - you know the thing, men are like this women are like that and god forbid anyone deviates even slightly from the norm, and (c) I didn't keep getting smacked in the face with constant workplace sexual harassment.

The harassment was bad enough to have my oblivious self feel mildly uncomfortable when I first read it. When I skimmed through it again to remember why I hated it so much it almost made me want to puke. If any guy thought about me the way the ML thought about the FL I would knee him in the balls. Also, I HATE it when romances end with a "grand gesture" that magically solves everything. Especially in this case. FL, you were so fucking bland that I don't remember a goddamned thing about you but you should have kneed him in the balls. For fuck's sake.

QUOTE: (slime. slime all over my face and my arms.)

Doe Eyes may be telling me no…but her body? Her body’s screaming, Yes, yes, fuck me on the bar. In the span of three minutes, she’s told me why she’s here, what she does for a living, and allowed me to fondle her hand. Those are not the actions of a woman who is not interested—those are the actions of a woman who does not want to be interested. And I can definitely work with that.

23. a book that is currently on your TBR

See the full post

3 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

1, 9 10 13 15 16 18 23 52 53 55 60 63 71 80 86 107 121 127 134 135 for ur ask meme

wheeeee~

okay so there's are enough of these questions that I'm gonna answer this in parts because otherwise (a) I'll never finish and (b) tumblr WILL end up earing my drafts and I wince just thinking about that. So here we go-

1. a book that is close to your heart

The Beginning by K.A. Applegate. Anyone who's spent some time on my tumblr knows about my obsession with this series. It drilled into my ear and took over all higher life form function way back when I was an impressionable pre-teen. And then after sometime, when I thought I'd found other things to obsess about, I found copies of the final arc and it decided to permanently take up residence in my brain.

The Beginning is the final installment of the Animorphs series, which famously feature kids turning into animals to fight brain stealing alien puppeteers. It's not a climax- it's a extended denouement, because the books have always been about how children people are affected by war as much as as it was about the actual war. Animorphs also ended on a very bittersweet note, something unthinkable to baby me who had never seen a story end this way before. It was a learning experience.

Quote:

"Jake, you can't . . ." She took a deep breath. "You can't equate the victim and the perpetrator."

"So as long as you're playing defense it's not possible to commit a war crime?" I asked. "That's pretty close to just saying that the winner makes the rules because it's the winner who writes the history."

She grabbed my arm and searched for my eyes, forcing me to look at her. "No, Jake, it isn't. There are a lot of close calls in history, lots of wars where the blame is evenly split between the sides. This isn't one of them. Before they came to Earth no human ever attacked a Yeerk. No human ever harmed a Yeerk. This one is clear: We are the victims. They made war on us."

"That's good," I said softly. "All of that is good. We have justification. We're the good guys."

Marco said, "That's right, Big Jake, we are."

I nodded. "That's good for the big picture. See, my problem is a little more personal."

Ax asked.

"Well, Ax-man, you're right, you did call my attention to the possibilities on the Pool ship. And when you did that I guess I should have thought, Well, Jake, it's a harsh, terrible thing to do, but you're justified because, after all, you're the victim here. But that's not what I thought. You know what I thought?"

Cassie released her grip on me. But Marco just took a step up close, right in my face.

"I know what you thought, Jake. You thought Die, you filthy worms. Feel the fear, Yeerks. Feel the pain. Feel the helplessness. You wanted them to suffer and the idea of them suffering and dying made you happy. You were thrilled. You were high."

Cassie winced. She looked away.

I said, "Yeah, Marco. That was about it: word for word."

9. your favourite book of 2020 2022

See the full post

3 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 2 of 7)

13. your favorite romance novel

You should know by now that I don't actually have favorites. I have a list of things I like and how much I like them varies with time, emotions, circumstances, and also maybe the phases of the moon. But The Duke in Disguise by Cat Sabastian was the first book I thought of when I saw this question, so it's the answer by default.

A Duke in Disguise is a standalone (technically it's part of a series, but books in romance novels series are often functionally standalones with cameos) romance story about two childhood friends- a prickly left-leaning publisher trying to keep her business afloat and an illustrator (engraver, to be precise) who turns out to be the long-lost heir to a dukedom. It's filled with class rage and ideas about what independence means and wonderful friend and family characters. The heroine is bi and filled with rage goes to her ex-girlfriend when she wants to yell about stuff. It's great.

QUOTE:

How one was meant to feed all these people on a couple of mutton chops Verity did not know. Supper was supposed to serve four: herself, Nate, Ash, and Charlie. But Nate had come home with three friends he met at the pub, which would have been bad enough even if he hadn’t evidently also invited Amelia Allenby, the half-grown daughter of Verity’s friend. At half past seven, a carriage pulled up in front of the house and disgorged a girl in pearl earbobs and a white muslin frock, dressed as if she were going to dine with the great and good of the land, rather than pick at too few mutton chops and be an eyewitness to sedition. Amelia was seventeen and looked upon Nate with a degree of hero worship that nobody who brought three hungry radicals home to dinner deserved.

15. a book rec you really enjoyed

See the full post

4 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

1, 19, 27

1. a book that is close to your heart

The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold. I mean, I love almost everything this author writes but I'd only read her space opera series before this, and space opera was (at least back then) not as much my genre as Fantasy is.

It was also a very different type of fantasy from what I'd experienced. I'd mostly read grand sweeping fantasy epics before CoC, with a dash of Tamora Pierce to even things out. But I think this was the first time I'd seen adult fantasy which was less about world domination and more about people just trying to get by in the face of curses and life in general etc. Caz is a wonderful protagonist because he's so tired and so traumatized and he juxtaposes beautifully with Iselle (who is the /thematic/ protagonist) who's vibrant and a beacon of hope. The divinity-based magic system is wonderful. The way of breaking the curse is wonderfully clever. This book made me actually weep more than once. I just- //flails

It also made me be more active about searching for adult fantasy I was actually interested in, because till that point I really thought all we could have were chosen one quest narratives.

Quote:

“Any man can be kind when he is comfortable. I'd always thought kindness a trivial virtue, therefore. But when we were hungry, thirsty, sick, frightened, with our deaths shouting at us, in the heart of horror, you were still as unfailingly courteous as a gentleman at ease before his own hearth.”

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

See the full post

5 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It just struck me how the MCU is milking the hell out of a nearly manufactured out of whole cloth mentor-mentee/dad-son relationship between a billionaire superhero and a socially disadvantaged kid superhero while the dc cinematic universe, which has multiple canon relationships like that, ignored them COMPLETELY in favor of more serial killer showcases.

7 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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volturialice · 2 years

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the year of the plague (of Renesmees): how many american children were named “Renesmee” in 2020?

the answer will disappoint and surprise you!

we all agree that 2020 was a terrible year, but was it a terrible year for baby name trends? yes, yes it was. in last year’s Renesmee Roundup post, I concluded:

but we’ll see what happens in the 2020 data. based on how the rest of the year went I can only assume that every single baby was named Rayonnaizemeigh by default

and let me just say, from the bottom of my heart,

because there were

✨154 ✨

baby Renesmees born last year

(it’s still 2021 I can still say “last year” shut up)

so let’s take a closer look at some of the other, even MORE accursed new data, shall we?

as you can see from my first chart, usage of the name “Renesmee” increased by about 9%—there were 12 more baby girls named Renesmee than in 2019.

but usage of Renesmee’s even worse alternate spellings increased by a disgusting 14%, or 13 babies (look, babies are the unit of measurement here. get over it.) that means 13 more infants than in 2019 were labeled with some vile, arcane arrangement of the phoenician alphabet whose letters, when sounded out, make the approximate sound “ruh-nez-may” (for a total of 104 babies saddled with one of these foul maledictions.)

but which was the most popular malediction? the fastest rising? to answer that, we will once again need to look at the chart that looks like jackson pollock vomited rainbow spaghetti:

fun fact: my dad saw me making this chart and started mansplaining data visualization to me (luckily without at any point asking me what this chart was charting)

first, the good news: we’ve once again lost Renezmee. she’s dropped off the map, which means 4 or fewer babies were given that name in 2020.

now, the bad news: you may perhaps have noticed the astronomical rise of that dark blue line representing “Renesmae.” this is because usage of “Renesmae” absolutely skyrocketed last year, increasing by 104%. think about that for a second. 104%. 104%. again, that’s

✨one-hundred-and-four (104) fucking percent ✨

or 30 babies, for those of you who prefer to hear your statistics in babies. that’s right: usage of “Renesmae” more than doubled in 2020, from 29 to 59 infants.

in other words, my giant shark meme was eerily prophetic and more fucking correct than I knew and oh my god I want to die just eat me already and put me out of my misery please giant shark

and honestly? yeah, this checks out. with the way things are going these days, we shouldn’t be surprised that terrible parents everywhere are ditching Renesmee in favor of Renesmae. and I do mean everywhere.

extra-cursed bonus round: england and wales

in 2020, the name Renesmee dropped by exactly one place and one baby in england and wales—falling from #806 with 46 babies to #807 with 45 babies. sounds good, right? except that fucking Renesmae yeeted itself into the top 1000 and right goddamn past Renesmee with 46 babies, tie-ing for #792nd most popular girls’ name.

it’s a reflection of These Unprecedented Times that Renesmae is rising faster than sea level.

as for what’s going to happen in the 2021 data, who the fuck knows? I am now afraid to make any predictions lest they fucking come true

so instead, I will leave you with this thought: 2021 was the year of yassification. and what is Renesmae (and Renesmay, and Renezme, and all their revolting gorgon sisters) but the yassification of Renesmee?

further reading:

full renesmee name profile, 2009-2017

2018 twilight names update

2019 renesmee england & wales update

2019 renesmee US update

my general tags for twilight name profiles and discussion

#twilight #twilight renaissance #renesmee cullen #renesmee #twilight saga #chuckesmee #twilight names #name profiles #renesmee 2020 update #resume

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suck-it-and-see-16 · 7 months

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Making a meme out of every line in Twilight (Meme 154)

Please follow us on Facebook @ makingamemeoutofeverylineintwilight and on Instagram/tiktok at memeofeverylineintwilight

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wutheringmights · 3 years

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Twilight for the ask meme!

Some people think I only have strong opinions about Warriors, but that's not true. I am an extreme opinionated person and I have Thoughts on everyone, but especially Twilight.

What I love about them: TP Link was my first Link, and they say you never forget your first. He's sort of the standard I hold every other Link in the series to, and there's a lot of things about him I adore. If I have to pick one thing in particular to highlight, it would be how he's the epitome of a normal guy who gets caught up in a divine scheme that is far grander than him. He's the heir to a cursed line of heroes, but he's also just a rancher. Everyone around him is fighting for these larger than life stakes, like the fate of Hyrule and the light realm. And he just wanted to save some kids. He's way in over his head but he can't escape his destiny.

What I hate about them: I think LU Twilight is the most boring way you could have interpreted TP Link. I'm sorry, but it's kind of true. The comic renders him into what non-Zelda fans think Link is like. And it's a little trite. It's just a tad dull. When I write him, I try to imbue some of my person taste in TP Link into him, but even I gotta admit that it's a little hard to make him more engaging.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I really like that one moment when Legend is interrogating Twilight about being Wolfie, and Twilight says "everyone knows you can't keep wolves as pets." It's such a little shit answer and I love it. He knew what he was doing.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want to see more of his relationship with the other members of the resistance. There was a Twilight Princess fic I read a few months back that elevated their involvement in TP to the point where they all knew about Midna, and it really opened my eyes to how much potential there was in those relationships. So give me more of the resistance!

What I would like to see less focus on: Honestly, I think we've stunted Twilight's character potential by making everything about his relationship with either Wild and Time. I want to see more about him with the other boys. For example, I think Wind would have a little beef with him because Twilight was just handed the right to be a hero while Wind had to work for it. I also think his friendship with Sky would be god-tier if only more people would explore it.

Favorite pairing with: Midna. Did this even surprise you? I have been a Midna fan my whole life, and I cannot conceive of any version of Twilight that wouldn't be in love with her. They're not a perfect couple, but that's what makes it even better to me. They're not meant to be together, but god, they want to be.

Favorite friendship: Sky. There is no two Links who would understand each other better than Sky and Twilight. They both understand the feeling of being given divine expectations they had no control over. They both are so beyond their simpler days that they could never settle down again. But their personalities complement each other great as well, especially when considering the parts of their characterization that didn't make the translation to LU (like Sky's sass and Twilight's brashness).

NOTP: Shad. Listen. I support everyone and anyone who set out to get Twilight a boyfriend and landed on this scholar twink boy. Good for you, and I'm glad you're happy. Unfortunately, I have been harboring a resentment to that bespectacled bastard for over 10 years now. Not only is he an elitist bastard who looks down on me for being a poor country boy, but he makes me run all the way around Hyrule to finish his book. Bastard. Every time I replay TP, I want to punch him.

Favorite headcanon: You know the Anne of Green Gables situation? Where she was an orphan who was adopted by a family on the condition she would work on their farm and they would pay her way? That's what happened to Twilight. He was sent to Ordon by an adoption agency when he was 10 to work for Fado in exchange for housing and such. So even if Fado technically adopted Link, he's the whole village's kid.

#I know I called Twilight a boring bitch but please believe me when I say he's actually one of my favorite Links #Like I said. I am. Opinionated. I have Thoughts #also bet you can't guess who is actually my least favorite Link #Place your bets now because I doubt anyone will guess it #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #lu twilight #loz midna #me rambling #ask #anonymous

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musashi · 2 years

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2021 Writer In Review Meme!

@wutheringmights said that the writers should get in on the end of year art memes and you know what!!!! i agree. this is one of the first years in a while i was constantly writing and i want to brag too, hehe.

here’s some excerpts im particularly proud of from the respective months i wrote them in~

January:

Another lurch in the spirit’s being, and Fi shutters it with calculations before it can get to her. A reason. A reason for her behaviour. Possibilities pop up and simmer out. She wants to keep an eye on him and monitor his health—low probability, she can do that without manifesting. She wants to keep watch on the area while he’s in a vulnerable state? The same—the evil around them has an easily detectable aura, and most of it wouldn’t dare near the sacred flame. Maybe the sword feels cramped? But nothing’s stopping Fi from making herself smaller, turning her body to stardust within its hilt. Nothing adds up—besides the stirring against her crystal heart, like a loftwing chick’s clumsy first flight.

~ In Emergency Situations, Your Sword Can Provide Medical Attention

February/March:

She sings. Marin’s pressed into his side, an arm around Legend’s waist, and he tries not to become lost in the notes he’s heard a thousand times and wants to hear a million more. His head swirls with the scent of her this close—fresh cut flowers, bonfires on the beach, she smells like summer and young love and memory, and she holds him, and he melts into her shoulder and her wild red hair, unable to fight the impulse any longer. Legend brings a shaking hand toward her, pawing at a courage that comes so easily everywhere else, and Marin meets him halfway, lacing the fingers of her free hand with his own. Her skin is so impossibly soft, the strength in how she holds him so apparent regardless.

~ Down [Chapter 1: Legend]

April:

Now, the sunset’s flashing its last hurrah across Hyrule in a golden parade of light, and Twilight lets his heart ache its bittersweet ache as he takes it in and buries his fingers in the sand and resists the urge to look toward his growing shadow. Wind and Wild are two blurs of bright blue, foot-racing through the salty waves, the champion desperate to win at something as it very quickly became clear that no living swordsman could best the Hero of Winds in a seaside battle.

~ Down [Chapter 2: Four]

May:

There’s so much he’s still missing, so much life he’s yet to remember, pawing at scraps of who he was before. Pictures the princess left him, and scrawlings on yellowed paper burnt with malice and hidden in the castle walls, with so much at stake, and so many eyes upon him, he feels it necessary to stay strong, to silently bear every burden. Anything can send him tumbling back to that mysterious Before—the scent of fruitcake baking, the croak of a hot-footed frog, the right notes on Time’s ocarina, the velvety petals of a silent princess in his hand.

~ Down [Chapter 3: Wild]

June:

Most of all, Sky thinks of the day after Pipit’s Wing Ceremony. He thinks of the broken wail of his mother’s loftwing against the thundering winds that whipped and tore around Skyloft, he thinks of the scraps of his father’s best tunic hanging from the bird’s bleeding talons. He thinks of his fingernails dug into the dirt while he sobs, and sobs, and sobs, and he thinks of the pity he never stopped seeing thereafter in the eyes of everyone who looked his way.

Of the pity bed at the academy, why don’t you stay the summer in your dorm. Of the pity buffet Zelda brought him to a few days after, all his favourite foods lined up in the empty academy kitchen. Of the pity party his life became in the whole year following, a sudden and suspicious charisma that drew people to him, people who had never noticed the silent boy before.

Pity grades. Pity letter. Pity win. Pity sailcloth. Pity date. Pity sword. Pity destiny.

~ Down [Chapter 4: Wind]

July:

Skyward Sword HD said no writing this month <3

August:

Malon considers this for a moment before nodding, nonchalant. In some other lifetime, perhaps, this would be a revelation worth thinking about, but knowing Link has taught her to stop being surprised. Thinking back to all those years ago, when he’d stumbled into the castle grounds looking dirty and lost, the way her heart soared when she saw the fairy duck into his hat. Strange magic has always just swam around him, sparkling at his fingertips with every whistling note of his ocarina. Link’s a fairytale, even like this.

~ Rest Stop

September:

Tonight, Fi is restless, warbling energy glowing off her blade in quiet bursts, refusing to calm. Sky isn’t sure if it’s because she knows they’re talking about her and wants to be present as she’s able, or if it’s something more conciliatory, a way to put the lot of them at ease. It feels more like the second, Sky ponders, and it drifts along his head again—this vibration in his veins, like her wings on his hands. Like she’s touching him delicately, moving him into position. Not an order, never an order—always a guiding light, a tilt of her head to act as his compass, a two-digit numerical with a percentage trailing behind it like a comet’s tail. Even now—with the contradiction of her lilting monotone silent—she suggests, advises, encourages.

And Sky trusts her, so he listens.

Finally, his fingers weaving through Time’s hair without a single mussed-up objection, he braids.

Imperfect braids, of course—Zelda taught him in a single day, long ago when they were kids, and she’s so adept at doing her own, he rarely gets to practice. But it’s something to do to assuage his sick friend’s headache when the act of just entwining loses its appeal, and so Sky braids, feeling in that moment that there’s a one-hundred percent probability of it being the best thing to do.

~ Down [Chapter 6: Time]

October:

On paper, it’s an otherwise unremarkable sound. He’s got six sick friends still ailing in the house, and it’s probably the three-hundredth sneeze he’s heard in the last two weeks. Anyone else would probably ignore it and press on with their work, admiring the newborn night as it rolls across the hills of Hateno. Sky, however, isn’t anyone else. His ear twitches, and he stills his ladle where it is.

Who was that?

That doesn’t sound like any of them, is the thing. It’s not Hyrule’s sleepy-sounding rasp, or Wind’s near comedic half-scream. It’s not Time’s scrapey, metallic tenor, not Four’s breathy stifling, definitely not Wild’s loud orchestration. It’s not Legend, sounding like a remlit kit.

And his heart sinks for a moment as he nears the end of that list, but it can’t be Twilight either, because Twilight does that weird thing where it sounds like he’s just coughing, leaving Sky with a bless you hanging at the edge of his tongue, completely unsure if the situation calls for him to say it. He hates that. It’s not that.

~ Down [Chapter 7: Warriors]

November:

Twilight belts out a broken battle cry from reserves he doesn’t have, charging Sky with blade brandished. Every part of the chosen hero runs on instinct, then—his hand is at his back and his own sword is bared, and she’s not happy with him but he has no other choice. Right at the start, it’s clear Twilight isn’t fighting to injure, but he’s just as fierce as he is in any spar, swinging strong and heavy where he lacks in precision. Sky’s forced to block the first slice, and his palm is searing, violet flames crackling at the point where he meets her. He pushes through the pain, but he can almost hear Fi’s voice in his head—crying out in an agony of her own, what are you doing stop that don’t hurt him please don’t hurt him PLEASE—

I’m sorry, his heart cries back to her. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

~ Down [Chapter 8: Twilight]

December:

The weight of the whole world sits there on her shoulders, a swirling pink-black miasma that she sees sometimes in her deepest nightmares. It roars and screams and bears down heavy, and under its oppressive cloud the princess finds herself unable to breathe, to move, to speak. And she thinks, if I had my sealing powers, and she thinks, if I had a sword that demons revile, maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe she could fight the beast as it looms, maybe she could save the world she so loves, maybe if she had been handed an easier destiny, or a map to navigate this one she’s stuck with, maybe the words wouldn’t stick, maybe the wreckage wouldn’t be so airless.

What an absolute fool she’d been, to think every demon could be slain with a blade.

~ Shattered Silence

I’m really proud of how much i wrote this year! in december alone i’ve written 20k+, and that is absolutely insane to me. the zelda fandom and especially the LU fandom has been incredible for my creative output--i am surrounded by so many people who are so generous with their time, encouragement and feedback.

thank you so much to everyone who read my work this year, especially everyone who read Down! i never could have anticipated, writing chapter one almost a year ago, that it would have ever received the reception it did. i hope to write so much more ;__; <3

#long post #wendy writing #linkeduniverse #linked universe

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aceghosts · 2 years

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domestic ship meme for anyone x blue 👀

Thank you for giving a choice, Anon! I'm going with Blue/Bruce Wayne. They're my newest ship and I wanna develop their relationship a little bit.

Who reaches out to new neighbors:

Blue. They’re extremely friendly and always happy to introduce themself to new neighbors. Bruce is, uh, not super social, but if Blue thinks he might get along well with their neighbors, they’ll see if he wants to meet them. Plus, Blue always makes the conversation easy for Bruce by getting the neighbor and Bruce talking on a mutually shared interest.

Who remembers to buy healthy food:

Blue. They’re usually the one to go grocery shopping if food isn’t already being delivered to Wayne Manor. Usually, they end up going to the grocery store after their shift with GCPD.

Who remembers to buy junk food:

Blue. Again, usually going Grocery shopping after work.

Who fixes the oven when it breaks:

Alfred. Before Blue or Bruce can even get the words out of their mouth to say, ‘wow, the oven is broken’, Alfred already has someone on the way. He also has the unfortunate task of making sure neither try to fix the oven.

Who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s):

Both. Blue and Bruce usually work the feeding of pets and the watering of plants around their schedule. If all else fails, call Alfred.

Who wakes up earlier:

Blue. As stated, Blue is a chronically earlier riser. Plus, Bruce is usually getting into bed after a night of being Batman around the time Blue is getting up for work at GCPD.

Who makes the bed:

Neither. Both are somewhat disorganized, and every once in a while, someone remembers to make the bed.

Who makes the coffee:

Both. Depending on the other person’s schedule, the other person will make coffee for them. For example, Bruce will make Blue a cup of coffee if they’re on their way to work and he is still up. Otherwise, Blue might bring Bruce a cup of coffee if he is researching a case when they come home from work.

Who burns breakfast:

Bruce. I genuinely think that he would just not know how to cook.

How do they let each other know they’re leaving the house:

Usually, they find the other person and give them a kiss before heading out. If Bruce doesn’t have time to let Blue know that he is leaving, he’ll usually send them a text. If Bruce is asleep when Blue is heading to work, they’ll usually give him a soft kiss on the head before leaving.

How do they greet each other when one of them gets home:

Usually with a kiss and ‘I missed you’. They’ll discuss their day with each other, and if Bruce is working on a case, Blue will help him on the case.

Who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often:

Bruce. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Just seems like something he would do.

Who picks the movie for movie night:

Both. Usually, they take turns picking out the movie. However, there are a few staples that end up getting repeat viewings.

Their favorite kind of movie to watch:

Action, Thriller, or Detective movies. Neither would be into horror movies, but Blue and Bruce would enjoy thriller movies that didn’t cross over into that line.

Blue and Bruce did watch Twilight once and were immediately weirded out by how much Edward kinda looked like Bruce. (Blue did tease him for the next few days about it.)

Who first suggests a pillow fort:

Blue. No explanation needed.

Who builds the pillow fort:

Both. Blue would definitely encourage Bruce to get in on building a pillow fort. Eventually, the pair would probably start stealing pillows from other parts of Wayne Manor to build a big-ass pillow fort.

Who tries to distract the other during the movie:

Bruce, probably because Blue is starting to get antsy.

Who falls asleep first:

Blue. They probably go to bed first, so they fall asleep first. If Blue and Bruce went to bed at the same time, I think it would probably be Bruce.

Who is big spoon/little spoon:

Depends. If they go to bed at the same time, Blue is the big spoon, and Bruce is the little spoon. If Bruce is crawling into bed after a night of being Batman, he probably ends up being the big spoon.

#kate answers asks #thank you for giving me the choice anon #cuz I wanna talk more and write more about them #OTP: You'll Always Burn As Bright #battinson #I'm really gonna have to change blue's character tag #especially because they're a detective in this universe #blue murphy

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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Vinelle (and muffin since I know they'll see this too~!), I don't know if you guys have made a post ranking the Twilight books and why (including Bree and L&D if applicable) but I'd love to hear your opinions! (also if you could rank the Twi movies from least worst to most worst and why that'd be awesome too! 030 hi key love your rants on the movies and would love to hear y'alls thoughts more on them)-Sw

You’ve caught us out, anon.

And thanks to you, we spent last night watching Breaking Dawn Part 2 so we could rank it. @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin hadn’t seen it at all, while I half-remembered it from years ago. A terrible time was had because that movie was unwatchably bad.

Since this ask was sent jointly, our answer was co-written.

So, without further ado, movies first:

1. Twilight

This is a bad movie, but it’s recognizably a movie. The scenes are connected, there are things it did well, and we could tell you what the plot is. The awkwardness, for instance, is very well done. The weaknesses are glaring, the main one being that the film never sells us on the characters of Bella and Edward, nor on their relationship, relying instead on the audience knowing they’re in love because- well, they’re in love.

Diving deeper into Edward and Bella, there’s an understandable explanation for this. Edward of the books is terrifying, and I don’t think there’s a translation to screen that could have kept the romantic atmosphere surrounding him that we see from Bella’s point of view.

Bella can listen to Edward eating Biology and how he explains that it means how much he loves her and not blink. An actual audience hearing that dialogue will have second thoughts.

Right out of the gate, Twilight has a very difficult task: Salvage Edward Cullen while still producing a somewhat recognizable character who will take the same actions (or near the same actions) that Edward Cullen did in the book.

In the effort to make Edward palatable but save some of his original character he loses his more terrifying lines (as well as his hilarious ego) but becomes weird, awkward, and vaguely creepy. Edward Cullen of the films is that weird, friendless guy in your high school who you feel kind of bad for but don’t want to eat lunch with.

Bella faces a similar transformation. Bella’s insecurity is completely removed (or else the screenwriters somehow failed to notice it). As a result, we get this strange antisocial girl who is too cool for school because she’s a stuck up bitch.

Between Edward, this creepy guy who sits next to her in Biology, and Bella, this girl who enters school too good for everyone else, we see no reason why they would ever be interested in one another.

In an attempt to make these characters likeable they made them both unlikeable and boring. The film series as a whole never recovers from this (indeed, the quest to make Edward look good keeps leading to stranger and stranger places).

It also forgets to explain why the Cullens live among humans, they’re attending high school… because. It’s a movie that explained to us all those terrible 2010 era memes and “still a better love story than Twilight”. And frankly, those memes were great, better than the movie. Case in point.

Everything is weirdly blue, which is atmospheric but also makes everything and everyone washed out. Everyone is super pale, so you have Mike looking just as vampire-y as Edward. However, it’s recognizably a movie. It introduces the characters, recognizes that the audience needs to be informed of things that are important to the plot, and most scenes are in some way connected to the plot. This is more than can be said for the other films, which is why it lands the top slot.

2. Eclipse

Eclipse earns its second place by process of elimination. The remaining three were worse. Eclipse also features Edward being cuckolded mercilessly, which is hilarious. Oh, and Victoria playing Riley, that was another beautiful scene.

Apart from that it’s just a deeply boring, borderline unwatchable movie.

Special shoutouts go to:

The opening scene of Riley getting turned, a ridiculous and poorly executed scene that served no purpose for the movie whatsoever.

Rosalie dropping her backstory without any context, Bella walks up to her and Rosalie launches into this horrific story for no particular reason. Both her and Jasper’s backstories could have been cut, as they served no purpose to the story and felt really thrown in there.

The many, many redundant scenes. The Victoria chase that ends with the Cullens and Quileutes squabbling could have been cut entirely. So too could the Seattle subplot with the newborns and Bree.

It’s a movie that isn’t about anything in particular, so it throws subplot spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. It dutifully regurgitates the Jacob/Bella/Edward love triangle while also trying to convey that Bella’s about to lose her mortality, while also trying to introduce suspense and excitement with the newborns. It fails to execute either of these, and it also fails to tie them together.

3. New Moon

The movie that wanted to skip itself.

This movie had two jobs, show that Bella is depressed when Edward leaves and convince the audience of Bella and Jacob’s strong friendship. And apart the rotating shots and the occasional Stewart voiceover, the former becomes one of those “just stay with us on this one, guys” failures, and the second is failed on every level. Jake and Bella are much closer at the beginning of this movie than they were in canon, and a montage of Bella hanging out with her buddy is just that, it’s a montage of Bella hanging out with her buddy. It speaks volumes that Stewart’s voiceover has to remind us she’s depressed and Jacob is helping her heal, because there’s no indicator on screen that this is happening.

This, in turn, makes Bella/Jake as weak and unconvincing as Bella/Edward was in the previous movie. We just have to take on faith that these people are important to each other because that’s what we’re told.

There’s also the wolves, who are completely butchered. In the books, there’s this great mystery with bears in the woods, there’s Bella wondering why Laurent ran off, there’s build-up, then when we find out what’s actually been happening it’s a satisfying explanation, all the pieces come together really nicely. This is not the case in the movie. Meeting the pack is just weird in this context, because we never wondered who they were. Bella is randomly invited to breakfast, we meet Emily with the scarred face who won’t ever have a line again, and that’s it, these characters don’t become important to the movie in any way. It’s a pointless scene that could have been cut, much like so many other scenes in these movies.

Apart from that, the Volturi scene from the books is butchered so I hardly recognize it, and Alice, Carlisle, and Edward’s characters are assassinated to an impressive degree considering they were barely in the movie.

It was hard to watch.

It lands third place because somehow, Breaking Dawn was worse.

4. Breaking Dawn Part Two

I’ll just list the positives: the intro was very pretty and promised a better movie. It was also long, which we appreciated because it took away from the movie’s runtime. (This is not at all an exaggeration, a lot of the time watching all five movies was spent looking at the remaining runtime and groaning.) The Tommy Wiseau sex scene in the sex cabin was uncomfortable, but the fact that it would have fit perfectly in The Room made it funny. The Romanians were genuinely, unironically, great, because of all of Carlisle’s trashy friends, these were the only ones the movie didn’t try to convince us weren’t trashy.

This movie ranks above Breaking Dawn Part One because of the things listed above.

Apart from that, something all of these movies, but especially the last four, suffer from is that they don’t have plots so much as they have a check list of things to put in the movie before they can call it a wrap. This movie is the worst offender of that, and it’s made worse by the film’s expectation that the people are fans who already know what’s happening, and therefore don’t need anything explained. I’ll explain what we mean by that.

We get Bella waking up a vampire, and absolutely nothing is explained. If you don’t know what happened in the last movie then fuck you. Bella then goes hunting, we get the hiker, we get the mountain lion, she goes back to meet Renesmée, finds out Jake imprinted on her daughter, we get the sex cabin, the handwrestling with Emmett. The Charlie problem is introduced (poorly), only to be solved a scene later with emotional payoff that had absolutely no buildup. All of these things, and the rest of the movie as well for that matter, feels like we’re just crossing items off a list.

Since the audience is expected to already know the story, the story only bothers to explain about half of what’s happening, if half. Who’s the lady living with Charlie? If you don’t know, don’t worry because it’s not important anyway. When did Kate and Garrett fall in love? If you don’t care, that's understandable, because they’ve barely interacted in the movie. Who are the Amazonian women? Do they have names? Don’t worry about it. Did Alistair actually leave, if so did that have an impact? Well, Bella stared at a window for a few seconds.

Every so often the characters will start quoting the books, and it’ll be completely out of place because these movies veered off course long ago. Carlisle references his great friendship with Aro, a friendship that was only briefly mentioned at the beginning of the second movie. Aro randomly starts talking about how scary human technology is.

All of these scenes feel like Marcus is telling the story, he’s just listing events waiting for the story to be over, and forgets a lot of pertinent details because he doesn’t care enough to remember them. There’s no effort to tie these scenes together, no effort to build up to anything.

There’s also one significant failure, and this is a failure shared by all five films, but it affects the plot (I use the term “plot” loosely) of this movie which is why it gets a special shoutout here. Vampires in these movies look human. The fact that Bella has to ask Edward is Gianna the secretary is human says it all, because in the books you know instantly, there’s not even a question. This makes the Charlie subplot ridiculous, because Bella looks and acts the same as ever. She had a trashy makeover, maybe, but she’s still Bella. Watching her get human acting classes after we watched her act perfectly human is just silly. Now, we’re all for suspension of belief, but this movie just pencil drew a moustache on her and the audience is supposed to go “My god, Bella, I didn’t recognize you!”

We then get to the atrocious fight scene, which was somehow worse than I remembered. It was also oddly long for a giant fake out. This scene took significant run time and it turns out to have 0 effect on the plot. And when we get back to the real world, the tonal shift is extreme. You can’t go from Jane being choked, dragged across the snow and face eaten by a wolf to her standing around chilling. We could have skipped it entirely, just had Alice touch Aro’s hand, and he goes “Ah, I see, cheerio.”

The end credits were pretty funny, “here are these random characters with bit parts in previous movies, isn’t this nostalgic?”. Nice try, movie. The fact this came after an extended clip show of the great romance of Edward and Bella, through blurry montage images that failed to be convincing in their original films let alone this one, just made it even more hilarious. Hope you didn’t completely ruin the director’s career, though honestly you should a bit.

5. Breaking Dawn Part One

As you can probably tell by the above entries, the fact that this is the worst one is really saying something. All the movies were hard to watch, but this one required pure strength of will to power through.

The big issue is that Breaking Dawn shouldn’t have been split in the first place. However, it was, and that meant that we got a movie that was almost entirely filler. (Followed, somehow, by a movie that was also largely filler.)

We get everybody preparing for the wedding. What do Mike and Jessica think of Bella and Edward getting married? What’s that, you don’t care? Well, now you know anyway. We get the full wedding, as in the whole fucking thing, including the afterparty. We get Bella and Edward traveling to their island, and there’s filler in the filler where they go clubbing in Rio. We then get every minute detail of the wedding night followed by every minute detail of the honeymoon.

There’s fanservice, and then there’s this. This was live action fanfiction.

NOTHING that in any way is relevant to the story happens, the closest we get is Irina looking stoned. Too bad the Denali’ refusal to help out in Eclipse was cut from the last movie, in fact I’m not sure they were mentioned at all previously in these movies (I think maybe Edward had a one-line reference in Twilight?) so this means nothing to people who haven’t read the books.

We then get to the pregnancy arc, which could have been Rosemary’s Baby but is instead as outrageously boring as the first half of the movie was. The director must have realized as much, because he gives us Jacob’s alpha plot that should have been cut from the movie (yes, I know it was in the books, but the thing about adaptations is that things have to go. For the record, I think Meyer should have cut it too). That subplot was straight out of an anime, by the way. Jacob claiming his ancestral rights as alpha while listing off his titles and the soaring music, was… every shounen anime, ever. Complete with the shitty voice acting.

It was a soul-crushingly boring movie.

Something that screws over the last four movies is that they were made to feed the fangirls, and generate revenue because the producers knew the fans were coming to watch the books they liked come to life, so they just had to throw scenes from the books and into the movies and let the magic happen. This is a terrible way to adapt something.

Special shoutout too to having to watch Taylor Lautner run around shirtless in four out of five movies. That was very uncomfortable and none of us needed that in our lives, Lautner included.

Super special shoutout to the fact that we disagree with nearly all the casting.

And this isn’t the post for that, but all of the characters were butchered. Some more than others, and some more insidiously than others. It’s the big things, like Carlisle’s character being turned on its head since he thinks all vampires are damned, exactly the opposite of what he thinks in the books, and the little things, like Jasper and Bella being buddies who bicker fondly in New Moon.

Then the books:

1. Midnight Sun

HANDS DOWN. This is easily our favorite thing to come out of the entire Twilight franchise.

Edward is every kind of crazy at the same time, all the time, and it makes every single sentence packed with delirious entertainment. Reading this book is having a stroke, a psychotic episode, and watching five different true crime shows all at once. We adore every letter of it. (That’s no exaggeration, we even laughed about Edward capitalizing “Son” when Carlisle refers to him as “son” in conversation.)

The book was more than we’d dared to hope for, one of those rare books that makes you go “This was written just for me.”

2. Twilight

The one that started it all.

Vampires are wonderfully creepy. Things like Bella staring at Carlisle acting like the mundane town doctor shortly after learning just how old he is, Alice explaining how vampires kill all, and the uncanny valley perfection of the Cullens all add to the otherness of these vampires, and the general atmosphere of the book.

The love story is convincing. Edward seen through the eyes of Bella is wonderful, the red flags are there but if it weren’t for the books that followed we wouldn’t have decried the ship the way we do.

3. Eclipse

Breaking Dawn is the more interesting book, but Eclipse has less things we outright don’t like. We get to know all the characters better, Edward and Bella are their usual beautiful selves, and it’s overall peak Twilight.

4. Breaking Dawn

Would have ranked much higher, we like what it did. Without it we wouldn’t be in this fandom now, as it brought so much amazing content. The baby plot is fine by us, Carlisle’s friends are great, the Volturi confrontation is a beautiful, if bleak culmination of preventable events. There’s a lot of great stuff in this book.

Unfortunately, and there’s just no diplomatic way to put this, so I’ll just come out with it: there’s too much Jacob.

He no longer had a reason to be in the story, given the way Eclipse ended he had every reason not to be in it. In spite of that we get an entire third of the book from his point of view, and then damned if he’s not shoehorned into the last third as well. He added absolutely nothing to the story, he was just there taking up space and being possessive of a toddler. His POV section was tough to get through, and his presence in book three was just painful. He should have been cut.

5. New Moon

This was the book we had to power through. There are some very good things in it, most notably the Volturi scene, but the Muffin and I enjoy Twilight for the vampires, and that makes Laurent and Hallucination!Edward the highlights of the part of the book where Edward is gone.

There’s also the fact that Jacob isn’t a very compelling character. He has to carry the book now that the Cullens aren’t doing it, and he simply isn’t up for it.

Yes, we’re aware that these books are ranked according to how much Jacob is in them. We don’t even hate him, not at all, it’s just that he’s boring.

(That being said, the books at their worst are better than the movies at their best. Jacob narrating his perfect playdate with Renesmée would still be preferable to… I’m trying to think of a good scene from the movies. Hm, nevermind.)

As for The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner and Life and Death, only I have read Bree Tanner and I don’t remember it well enough to give a proper assessment. I was bored with the OCs, though, bored to tears, throughout that book I was itching for Victoria and the Cullens. We have not read Life and Death, but we’re offended by its existence so it ranks bottom.

#books vs. movies #twilight movies #twilight books #the twilight saga #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #twilight #movie review #twilight review #i'm using all the tags tonight #the carnivorous muffin #thecarnivorousmuffinmeta #Anonymous #ask #long post

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