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harryslittlefreakk · 26 days

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obsessed

summary: harry is your roommate, best friend … and crush 💃 he’s finally broken up with his girlfriend and you’re struggling to hide how you feel about him. loosely based on the song!!

warnings: none! fluffy fluff, teeny tiny bit of angst, mentions nudity

wordcount: 2.7k

a/n: i am a loud & proud olivia rodrigo stan sooo naturally i had to write something. it’s silly and cheesy and short! but i hope you enjoy!!

you can find my masterlist here and join my taglist here!! happy reading my loves 💖

“Guess who I saw today?”

“Who?” You didn’t even need to look up from your book to know Harry was about to throw himself down on the end of your bed, his coat and shoes still on. Every time you got home before him he’d bound into your room like a little labrador, too excited to see you to even drop his stuff down first.

“No, you have to guess.”

“Could’ve been anyone, H,” you told him, feigning reluctance as you closed your book and looked up at him. The second you heard his key rattling in the door you’d wait for the sound of your door bursting open, the butterflies in your stomach coming to life. But you’d never let him know that, so every day you’d pretend it was an annoyance to have him perched at your feet.

“Think of someone you really don’t like,” he persisted, a toothy grin nestled between his dimpled cheeks.

“Literally could be anyone.”

“Come on! Blonde hair, tall, pretty…”

Of fucking course. His stupid, evil, awful ex girlfriend. And naturally, the only way you could react to hearing about her was to reach over and shove him before crossing your arms over your chest. “Ow! What was that for?” Harry laughed, rubbing at his upper arm.

“I was having such a nice day. And then you have to come in and mention that.” It was massively childish, but you couldn’t help but feel violent every time you heard about her. She was fine for the most part, maybe a little too conceited for your taste, but she’d made Harry happy. But you’d watched from the outside as Harry went through relationships, and he always morphed into whatever version of himself he thought the girl would prefer. He stopped being your Harry, and your friendship would suffer for it. But you couldn’t say anything, could never treat his girlfriends with anything but a polite smile and quick conversation, unless you wanted to out yourself as a jealous little girl. And you definitely didn’t want to do that.

This time, however, the ability to hate her had been handed to you on a silver platter when she decided to go home with one of Harry’s friends on a night out. You were his shoulder to cry on, the one to make him smile again after days of moping around. So you had full permission to hate her, and you were relishing in it - as much as you could while still tiptoeing around Harry’s aching heart.

“She wants to meet for a coffee this week,” he told you, scrunching his eyes tight as he waited for another shove. When nothing came, he squinted over to see you rubbing at your temples. “Are you gonna?” you asked, brows furrowed as you imagined the two of them back together.

“Am I allowed?” Harry teased, turning round to lay on top of you, his face only inches from yours. “You’re a grown man, H. Couldn’t stop you even if I wanted to,” you told him, your voice void of any emotion.

“Dunno if it’s a good idea. She might find me too irresistible and then I’ll have to deal with that,” he grinned, not noticing the change in your face. You looked down as you felt your lip start to quiver, too proud to show how your heart sank. “I need to shower, H. Dinner after?” you asked, slipping out from under him and dragging your heavy limbs towards the door. He looked over at you with round, questioning eyes, only to be met by silence and a weak smile as you headed for the bathroom.

You barely got the door shut behind you before the tears came, hot and heavy drops rolling down your cheeks. You knew you couldn’t have Harry, but every minute spent with him had your heart breaking over and over again. Every little cuddle, every touch, lit you up with a fire that burned to the bones. But then you’d see the way he acts with a girlfriend, the way he loved someone, and all those moments you shared seemed silly and infantile. He was your best friend, nothing more and nothing less.

You sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as the sobs wracked your body. You’d tried so hard to push away the feelings, to convince yourself that you were just confused and overwhelmed. He’s a friend, he’s a friend, he’s a friend, echoing around your mind. But deep down, you knew that no one could ever compare to Harry. He was yours, the only one to ever steal a piece of your heart.

“Y/n? M’coming in.” You froze as Harry’s voice came from the other side of the door, clamping a hand over your mouth to hold the sobs in. “I’m naked,” you called out, scrambling to your feet and wiping away your tears with your sleeve. But he opened the door anyway, stopping in the doorway when he saw your tear-stained face. “Didn’t even turn the shower on yet,” he muttered, glancing over at it.

“Why’re you crying?”

“M’not,” you whispered, choking out a giant sob as you turned your face away from Harry, sinking down onto the edge of the bath.

“Quite clearly are. Move,” he ordered, swatting you away before reaching to turn on the taps.

“What are you-”

“If you’re sad, I’m sad. And I like having a bath when I’m sad,” Harry shrugged, turning around to grab one of your bath bombs.

“I was gonna shower, you can’t-”, between the sobs, your confusion and the need for Harry not to know why you were crying, you could barely string a sentence together.

And when Harry pulled off his t-shirt, you were even more lost for words, left with your mouth gaping and only air coming out. “Joining me?” he asked, tipping too much bubble bath into the steamy water - something you’d have to scold him for later.

“I’m not getting in with you,” you told him, once you’d finally got a grip on your brain.

“Just get under the bubbles. And you can close your eyes when I get in.”

“No way.” You hugged your arms over your chest, drawing your swollen bottom lip into your mouth as you watched a shirtless Harry mix the bubble bath into the water. The way his muscles flexed, the tattoos littered across his tanned, slender frame. His skin always looked perfect, not Barbie doll smooth but irresistibly soft. Your fingers took on a mind of their own, slowly reaching out to touch him before he turned around with a smug grin. “Fine, go away then while I have my nice relaxing bath.”

“I want a bath,” you whispered, barely audible over the running water splashing into the tub. “What was that, angel?” Harry grinned, moving his towel onto the toilet seat. “I want a bath,” you told him, louder now, a tiny smile dancing on your lips.

Harry grabbed a hold of one of your hands, tugging you closer to the bathtub. He turned you around before pulling your t-shirt over your head, leaving you in just your little pyjama shorts. Just the brush of his fingertips against your bare torso sent chills down your spine. “M’not looking. Tell me when you’re in,” Harry told you, dropping your t-shirt to his feet.

You pushed your pyjama shorts and panties down your legs, checking behind you to see if Harry really wasn’t watching. True to his word, he had his eyes scrunched tight and his hand clenched over them. You’d seen each other in bathing suits and underwear so many times before, but being naked in the same room as Harry felt beyond weird. You’d never been overly shy about your body, especially with someone who made you feel as pretty and as comfortable as Harry did, but this would add a whole new layer to your friendship - and you didn’t know if you’d survive it. Still, you sunk into the bathtub and pulled the mass of bubbles to your end, trying to keep your breasts under the water before you told Harry he can look. “It’s really hard to make bubbles stay put, H,” you told him, screwing up your face as you tried to hold them steady.

He was laughing as he pulled his trousers and socks off, great big guffaws tumbling out every time the bubbles tried to escape your grip. “Want me to turn the lights down a bit? Then it’s harder to see,” he shrugged, nodding towards the light switch. You nodded, grateful that he cared enough to make sure you were 100% comfortable. It was one of the things that first drew you to Harry, and definitely what you valued most about him. He was always so kind, always caring, so willing to put anyone’s needs above his own - and that’s why relationships always changed him.

“Close your eyes then,” he said, mockingly holding two hands in front of his bulge. You rolled your eyes, finally starting to lighten up as the hot water washed over you. When Harry reached out to swat at your nose, you closed your eyes tight. You felt him stepping into the bathtub after a minute, his long legs slotting down your left-hand side.

“Hi,” he smiled when you opened your eyes. “Gonna tell me what upset you now?”

“It’s really not a big deal,” you told him, your voice small.

“It is if it made you that upset,” Harry countered, placing a gentle hand on your calf, his thumb rubbing against the soft skin.

You paused for a moment, trying to think of what you wanted to say and how to say it. “It just- she doesn’t deserve you, H. Anyone who hurts you like that doesn’t deserve any of your time and respect.” Your eyes dropped to the water as you spoke, your body frozen. Harry opened his mouth to reply, but as soon as he did, you needed to say more. “You were really sad, Harry. It sucked for you and it sucked for me too because I don’t like seeing you like that. I’ll always be there for you, you know that, but I can’t just sit and wait for her to hurt you like that again. Not when you know she’s capable of it.”

You watched the smaller bubbles popping one by one by one, suddenly anxious in the silence that followed your speech. You hated going against Harry, putting your two cents into something that really didn’t concern you, but sometimes he needed to hear it.

“I know,” he replied finally. “But do you think that because you don’t like her?”

“Harry, no! I don’t like her because she did that to you.”

“You were never her biggest fan,” he shrugged, his brows knitted when you finally pulled your eyes up to meet his.

“She changed you, H. You were different with her, less you. Everything is so surface level with her, it’s looks and Instagram likes and who’s got trouble with who. There’s no substance, nothing deeper.”

Harry’s thumb halted as he shook his head, his jaw clenching slightly. “It doesn’t always have to be deeper,” he sighed, rubbing at his chin with his free hand.

“I know it’s not my place but you need someone who brings out the best in you, you need-”

A bitter laugh from Harry stopped you in your tracks, your mouth snapping closed as a chuckle slipped out of his. He met your questioning gaze with a tiny smirk. “She always used to say you were jealous of her.”

You could feel the tears collect on your bottom eyelashes again as he said it, the words stinging like barbed wire sinking into your skin. How could you even respond? “Harry-” was all you could manage before your mouth ran dry.

“I don’t wanna fight with you, y/n,” he told you, his voice soft as he reached out for your hand. “Come here,” he whispered, tugging at your fingertips. “I’m- we-” you started, gesturing between your bare bodies with your free hand, eyes practically bulging out of your head. “Doesn’t matter,” Harry said, motioning for you to turn around.

Somewhat reluctantly, you did, leaning back into his body until your back hit your chest. You were exposed in every sense, your chest sitting just above the waterline and your heart on your sleeve. Harry wrapped an arm around your torso, his delicate touch careful not to go anywhere it shouldn’t.

“Truth is I probably need someone like you. Only one to make me happy on a shitty day, only one who gives me any effort,” he murmured, his voice so low that if he wasn’t speaking directly into your ear, you wouldn’t have heard him. Your heart quickened as he spoke, your pulse pounding against your inner wrists. “I’m not- I don’t have anything that she-” you choked out.

“S’a good thing, no?” Harry asked, turning his head just slightly until his lips brushed tentatively against your earlobe. “No, Harry. You need more, you need-”

“You,” he finished for you. “Just say the word and I’m yours, angel.”

It was like someone had handed you everything you ever wanted on a silver platter, all you had to do was reach out and take it. But it wasn’t that easy. If anything went south, you risked losing Harry forever. You shuffled back out of his grip, turning to sit in front of him, perched on your knees. You couldn’t even bring yourself to care about him seeing your body, your words willing themselves from your lips. “If anything went wrong Harry, I don’t want to lose you,” you whispered, blinking to keep the tears at bay.

“What would go wrong? We know we get along, we have the same traits and the same values. We’re already doing life together,” he reached out a hand to cup your cheek as he spoke, his eyes laced with nothing but earnestness.

“I don’t want to be your consolation prize.”

“Never. Never ever, I swear. I thought about it for a while but it never really clicked until now.”

You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip as Harry spoke, desperately needing to figure out if it was all a dream. The sensation of his touch, the sound of his voice, the gentle heat of the water – it all felt too real to be a dream. But a part of you couldn't shake the feeling that this moment was too perfect, too surreal to be true. You hesitated, unsure if you should dare to believe in the fairytale unfolding between the two of you.

As if he could see the cogs turning in your head, Harry dropped his hand from your cheek, entwining your fingers in yours instead. He squeezed lightly, the corners of his lips turning up into a little smile. "I'm here, y/n," he whispered. "This is real, promise." His words were a lifeline in the sea of doubt that threatened to consume you. Even if it was a dream, it was a dream you never wanted to wake up from.

“It’s all I ever wanted,” you confessed, allowing yourself to give into the fantasy for at least a little while. You fought the urge to search for the hidden cameras, check the date to make sure it wasn’t an April Fools prank. Harry was a goof, but you were a thousand percent sure he wouldn’t play with your feelings like that.

“Just say the word,” he repeated, his husky voice laced with sincerity and longing.

“I want this,” you whispered, clutching onto Harry’s hand as if you could fall off the Earth at any minute. His face erupted into a grin so cheesy that you couldn’t help but mirror it, eyes locked onto his as he closed the distance between the two of you.

Harry’s lips met yours softly, as if he were waiting for the other shoe to drop. But you melted into him, the air nearly knocked out of your lungs by the urgency and desire behind his soft movements. He pulled away after a minute, his forehead pressed to yours as he searched your eyes for any sign that you wanted to stop. Although all Harry was met with was a sparkle in your gaze, and a further few pecks landing on his lips. “Should’ve done this a long time ago,” he murmured against your mouth, his hands splaying across your back. “Should’ve done it before you got me naked,” you teased, succumbing once again to his kiss.

rrrr i really don’t know how i feel about this but i wanted to get something out

taglist: @angeldavis777 @softestqueeen @jerseygirlinca @palmettogal508 @drewsephrry @vonnexann @austiebuttbutt @indigo24hughes @peterparkerbae @im-an-overthinker @daphnesutton @loveableidioticweirdo @harryshotpocket @thegrapejuiceblues1982 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @swag13r @ashleighsss @tswiftsgf @chesthairrry @nikkisimps @hannah9921 @lilfreakjez @prettygurl-2009 @s-h-e-l-b-e-e @indierockgirrl @cicicavill7

#harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry edward styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles masterlist #harryslittlefreakk

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drudyslut · 20 days

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rafe x jealous!reader inspired by lana del rey „jealous girl“ (unreleased song sadly)🎀

„if i can’t have you baby, no one else in this world can.“

where he broke up with her because of her obsessive & jealous behavior a few weeks ago. (let’s pretend he’s not a killer haha) she sees him with another girl at a kook party & explodes with emotions. she beats up the girl & punches rafe & screams her lungs out that he belongs to her and no one else & that no one can have him if she can’t. topper and kelce literally have to drag her away from the poor beat up girl.

which literally leads to her breaking into tannyhill & threaten him with a gun. i’m thinking about no happy end because she ends up killing him and herself. but that’s up to you. or you can just erase the no happy end!

hope it’s not too gory, if it is it’s okay! maybe you could recommend someone who writes this kind of „gore“😩

BRO I LOVE THIS!!!! OMFG!!!!! she is me fr, bc who tf does Rafe think he is ???? leaving me??? NAH bby.

CW: violence, strong language, jealous!reader, toxic!reader, alcohol consumption, mention of a gun, breaking and entering, toxic relationship, mentions of blood. i think that’s it?

I didn’t understand why he’d left me. I mean, sure, I could be unpredictable and a little overly jealous. But he was mine. Any woman in my position would be the same way, right?

Maybe I took it too far sometimes. Maybe that was my problem. No, fuck that. If you’re not obsessed with the man or woman you’re with, then what’s the point, right? I was obsessed with him. I still am. So seeing him here with her has my blood boiling.

“Don’t do it.” My best friend, Kayla, says firmly.

I narrow my eyes on her, biting at the rim of my solo cup. “Don’t do what?” I ask, feigning innocence.

Kayla sighs, tossing back the rest of her drink before setting the cup onto the countertop. I place my eyes back on Rafe. He stands at the other side of the room, his right arm draped around the bitches shoulder as he laughs at whatever bullshit Topper was saying. He’s not that fucking funny.

I feel Kayla’s hand on my shoulder before she’s spinning me around to face her. Her amber eyes are narrowed in on my face. “I see the way you’re looking over there. Whatever you’re thinking of doing, squash it. It’s not fucking worth it, Y/N.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes. It is fucking worth it. Rafe Cameron is mine, and it’s about time I remind him of that.

“Kayla, haven’t you ever loved someone so much, that you become overly obsessed with them? That you would do whatever the fuck it took to prove that they belonged to you? Because that’s what I feel for Rafe. I’m never going to win him back with her in the way.”

She sighs for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. “Look, I get it. But you’re not going to win him back by doing something stupid. If you go over there, you might as well kiss him goodbye forever.”

She’s right. But I’ll never tell her that. Instead, I down the rest of my drink, tossing the cup into the trash bag that sits behind me and say, “I don’t give a fuck. She’s touching what’s mine. And that’s just unacceptable.”

I yank myself from her grip, turning and making my way toward Rafe and Jade.

Rafe’s eyes go wide when he sees me approaching, and I can’t help the smile that spreads on my lips.

“Hi baby, you miss me?” I ask him, batting my lashes while smiling widely.

“What’re you doing, Y/N? We’re not together anymore.”

I frown. “Baby, come on. You know you didn’t mean that shit. So why the fuck are you saying stupid shit? And why the fuck are you draped all over this bitch?” I ask, pointing toward the bleach blonde that’s tucked underneath his right arm.

A smile forms on Jade’s face, making my blood boil and my hands fist down by my sides.

“Oh Y/N.. You poor thing. Rafe told me you were fucking craz-”

My fist connecting with her nose cuts her words off. She falls to the ground, blood pouring from her nose as she holds it, glaring up at me.

“You bitch!” She shouts, and I just laugh. I jump onto her weak body, throwing punch after punch to her once perfect face. My knuckles are split from her teeth, my voice hoarse from screaming as I continuously hit the poor girl.

I feel two sets of strong arms ripping me up off her, my feet instinctively kick forward, getting her in the face one more good time before I’m physically dragged out of the house.

“Yo! Calm the fuck down, Y/N! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

My body is buzzing, adrenaline pumping through my veins has me seeing fucking stars right now. I look up, my eyes focusing on a mortified Topper and Kelce. I smile at them coldly.

“You guys are no fun” I pout. “I was winning back there ya know?”

Topper scoffs, his eyes wide. “You fucking broke her nose Y/N! You fucked her face up, Rafe’s gonna have to take her to the hospital… What’re you gonna do if one of them turns you into the police?!”

I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up in my chest. “Oh please, Top. Rafe would never turn me in. He loves me.”

Kelce throws his hands up, turning and giving me his back before walking into the house to presumably check on Rafe and his bitch.

Topper takes a cautious step toward me, his right hand landing on my shoulder. I glare at his hand for a second before he pulls back, sighing. “Look, he did love you. But you scared him away. You were too jealous and too obsessive. Rafe didn’t like that, so now you have to let him go.”

I laugh at that too. Maybe Topper is funnier than I gave him credit for.

“Top, he will be mine. No one else in this world is good enough for him. I’ll make sure he knows that.”

Before he can say anything else, I turn on my heels and skip down the steps of his front porch, making my way home to get the things I’ll need for later together.

Two hours after I’d absolutely beat the shit out of Jade in front of all of my friends, I’m sitting outside of Tannyhill, my right hand holding the small metal weapon i’d gotten from my house, fingertips tracing over the trigger slowly while I hum silently to myself.

Rafe will learn tonight, that if I can’t have him. No one can.

He’ll either be smart and take me back, or I’ll take us both out. The choice is his.

After what felt like forever, his headlights lighting up the driveway have me sitting up straighter in my spot. I watch as he pulls his truck to the side, putting it in park and hopping out. He makes his way to the door, slightly swaying from all the alcohol I assume he consumed after Top and Kelce threw me out.

Fuck them. And fuck Rafe for allowing it. He should stick up for me. He should fucking love me. I do everything for him. I would do anything he asked. And yet, he doesn’t want me? The thought of him with anyone else has my blood fucking boiling.

I watch as he pushes the door open, moving to shut it but I quickly stand and sprint toward the door, stopping it with my hand. He drunkenly staggers backward, turning his head as a confused “what the?” falls from his mouth.

His eyes land on mine, squinting to try and make out who he’s looking at since it’s kinda dark in here.

“Hi, Rafe.”

His eyes go wide and he stumbles backward, throwing his hands up. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He asks, shaking his head from side to side.

A slow smile makes its way onto my lips. I make my way farther into the house, shutting and locking the door behind me. “I came to see you, baby. Why would you ask me that?”

He laughs. “We’re- we’re not together Y/N. You fucking broke Jade’s nose, along with many other bones in her face. You’re fucked in the head. Please, leave.”

I can’t contain the laugh that bubbles in my chest. I take a few slow steps toward him, and he matches them, taking a few steps back.

“Rafe, you’re hurting my feelings. You love me, why are you acting like you don’t?”

His back hits the couch behind him, and he sticks his hands behind him to catch himself. His blue eyes are wide and full of fear.

“Y/N… I- I did love you, but you were too jealous, too fucking obsessive… I couldn’t handle that shit.”

Tears fill my eyes as the words leave his mouth. They stung. But he also just pissed me off. I pull the gun I had tucked in my hoodie pocket out, pointing it toward him as I let the first tear fall.

“How could you say that, Rafe? I love you! I would do fucking anything for you! Why can’t you just accept me for who I am?”

Rafe’s eyes go wider—if that’s even possible— and he raises his hands higher. “Y/N… We can talk about this. Put the gun away baby.”

I let out a laugh that makes me sound borderline insane, and maybe I am. But love makes you do crazy things right? I love him, and if I can’t have him, no one can…

“Don’t fucking lie to me!” I scream, my hands shaking as I continue pointing the gun at his beautiful face.

“I-I’m not lying. Please, princess. Put the gun away so we can talk…”

I take another slow step toward him, standing almost directly in front of him now. His intoxicating scent floods my senses, making me feel almost dizzy.

I clear my throat, blinking away the fresh tears as my shaky hands stay pointing in his direction. “I would have done anything for you. I love you, and you just cast me aside because what? Because I cared too much? Because I was so in love with you it made me fucking crazy?” I pause, letting out a choked laugh as I watch the fear in his eyes slowly turn into sadness. He fucking felt bad? Good. “I love you, Rafe. I’m just here to let you know… If I can’t have you, no one can.”

His blue eyes well up with tears, and he quickly blinks them away. Lowering his hands to his sides, he takes a cautious step toward me, the barrel of the gun pressed into his chest. He reaches out his right hand, running his thumb across my cheek and wiping away a tear that had fallen.

“Sweetheart… Put the gun away, and let’s talk, yeah?”

I sniff, my eyes finding his piercing blue ones. I slowly nod my head, lowering the gun in front of me, hearing him let out a deep exhale before his hands wrap around the cold metal object. He quickly turns the safety on and tosses the gun behind him and onto the couch.

Tears flow quickly down my face, choked out sobs pulled from my chest as I just stare back at the man who’d broke my heart. If he didn’t choose me, I wasn’t sure how I’d continue living. I needed him. The thought of never feeling him again, never smelling his scent, having his lips on mine, hearing his soothing voice — it was all too much for me to think about.

His arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me flush into his hard body, has all of those negative thoughts flying out the window. He still loves me.

I sob into his chest, apologies falling from my mouth like word vomit as he lovingly rubs his hand up and down the length of my back, shushing me. “Shhh, s’okay baby. ‘M here. I’m sorry.”

He holds me, swaying our bodies back and forth for what feels like forever. The sweet words spilling from his mouth and the feel of his hands on my body again are comforting. Like a warm blanket wrapped around you on a particularly cold day, or like your grandmother having cookies out for you after school.

Rafe was my safe space. He was my home. And I couldn’t lose him. I refused to go on in life without him by my side.

His next words hurt, but gave me a sense of hope that we could make it work after all.

“We can work on us, okay? I’m not going anywhere princess,” He pauses, lifting my head from his chest so my eyes are on him, “But you need to get help. Get medicated or something. You can’t be going off the rails batshit crazy all the time. I’m worried about you, and I need to know you won’t lose your goddamn head anytime you feel threatened by someone.”

My eyes search his, his eyes telling me he means every word he’s saying. I couldn’t be mad. I was a little over the top sometimes. If getting help for my psycho tendencies meant getting to keep Rafe? I’d do it. I’d do anything to keep him.

I swallow thickly, nodding my head, “Okay…”

He places his right hand on the back of my head, pushing it back down onto his chest and pressing his lips onto the top of my head. My body melts into his, my arms tightly hugging at his waist as I silently cry. I suck in a shaky breath, mumbling against his chest, “I love you, Rafe.”

He sighs, rubbing his hands up and down my back softly. “I know, princess. I know.” He pauses, and the hesitation of him telling me he loves me too pulls at my heart. Shattering me. But he finally says the four words that kept me sane, “I love you too.”

rafe cameron masterlist | requests | taglist form

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron angst #dark!reader #toxic!reader #jealous!reader #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron brainrot

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multifandomfanficss · 28 days

Text

Never Listen To Venkman

Egon Spengler x Reader

(With platonic!Peter Venkman)

Prompt: When you and Peter are left alone to experiment with a suspicious, blue, viscous slime, things go south and Egon comes home to you having a paranormal induced panic attack.

Warnings: panic attacks, autistic meltdowns, sensory issues, detailed descriptions of sensory issues, feeling uncomfortable in one’s own skin.

A/N: Back in my Ghostbusters era. It is contractually obligated that I must re-obsess every time a new movie comes out. I’ve loved Egon since I was a little kid. I can’t believe I’ve never written for him. The italics are flashbacks. This is crossposted on my AO3 adriansglasses.

The reader is intended to be autistic, but can be read any way you’d like. Anyone is allowed to relate and see themselves in the reader wether they’re autistic or not!

You were sitting at your desk with in your small shared lab with Egon in the firehouse when you heard footsteps. You thought you had been home alone until Peter walked in.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were going on a double date with Winston while Ray and Egon were at the movie.” You questioned him, putting down your pen. You had been taking notes on a new kind of slime the boys had found. It was different from the other slime they’d found last month when Vigo was trying to take over. While Vigo’s slime was pink in color, this slime was blue and had a more viscous consistency.

“Oscar had a fever, so Dana and I decided to cancel. She thinks he’s getting his first tooth.” Peter smiles. Despite the jokes he’s made and the amount of times he’s said he was nowhere near ready to be a father, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy being back with Dana again and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love Oscar just as much as he loved her.

“Did Winston still go?” You ask.

“Oh, yeah. He’s probably back in her apartment with the bed rocking as we speak. No way he’s coming home tonight.” Peter laughed at his own joke as you cringe.

“You’re disgusting.” You roll your eyes.

“What are you up to tonight? Got a hot date with a slime? Not too different from your usual dating life.” He chuckles.

“You’re such a dick, Venkman. I figured while everybody was out tonight I’d try to find out SOMETHING about this new slime. Egon and I have been studying it for two days and we have literally nothing.” You gesture to the blue goo on your desk.

“Do you need help?” He asks.

“Are you offering to help me on your night off?” You ask, shocked.

“I’ve got nothing better to do.” Peter shrugs.

“Are you gonna take it seriously?” You hesitate.

“I’m always serious!” Peter bluffs. Peter was never serious. Egon was always serious. His bluntness and black and white thinking had always been a comfort to you. He wasn’t some puzzle you had to figure out. He just was. Being with him wasn’t a guessing game the same way it was with Peter.

“Somehow that’s hard to believe, but I could really use your expertise in parapsychology, so I’ll say yes.” You sigh. You know this probably isn’t the best idea, but Peter knows more about this topic than you do. You’d be stupid to reject his help.

“If you’ll be the subject, I’ll run the experiment.” He says, taking out the helmet with wires.

“Okay.” You agree. Once the helmet is on you should be connected to a series of machines able to read the energy of your emotions, as well as the slime itself, giving you a more direct connection without touching. Peter starts asking you a series of questions, trying to draw different emotional responses.

“Think of a time when you were happy, really happy.” He prompts. Your mind, wandered around the room, trying to think of something, when your eyes landed on Egon’s book sitting on his desk.

It made you think of the first time you realized you had deep feelings for him. While you’d always thought he was attractive, you realized your feelings were deeper than you thought, far beyond a harmless little crush, one day when he let you borrow his book. As you read his notes in the margins you were able to analyze things like him, see the world through his eyes. You saw how his brain connected and processed things. You always liked the person he’d shown you, but writing in the margins is different. When you take notes in a book, you’re not putting on a mask for people to see. Notes in the margins are just for you. There’re your unfiltered thoughts. Seeing who Egon was when nobody was watching was different. He was funny, smart, deep, curious, not as confident as he pretended to be; he didn’t censor himself in his books. He wasn’t quiet in his books. Reading his margins felt intimate.

“You’re thinking about Spengler, aren’t you?” Venkman teases.

“Why would you say that?” You look at him, embarrassed.

“Because you’re in loooooove!” Peter mocks.

“Can we change the subject?” You practically beg.

“Think of a moment where you were uncomfortable.” Peter prompts.

“This conversation.” You fiddle with your fingers.

“No, really. I wanna see how it reacts to discomfort.”

“Fine.” You sigh. You think back to one of your many lab accidents. Working in a lab with sensory issues is never easy and that was something you and Egon both struggled with.

You think back to the day when you superglued your fingers shut by accident. You got them apart, but you couldn’t get the the residue off. You started to hyperventilate, on the verge of tears. You wanted to hit your hands on things, but you knew that wouldn’t help. You couldn’t peel off the glue without peeling off your skin.

“What’s wrong?” Egon looked at you puzzled, and a bit worried.

“Superglue! I- I- I can’t get it off!” You shake your hands, violently, your whole body is tensed up.

Egon quickly takes a bottle out from his desk drawer and runs over to you. He grabs your hands.

“Look at me, (Y/N). It’s okay. I’ll take off all the residue.” He promises, giving you a soft smile. Despite not liking seeing you in such discomfort, he forces the smile to help calm you down. He begins to massage the liquid from the bottle onto your fingers with a rag.

“See, it’s okay. It’s coming off.” He continues to speak softly, calming you.

“What is that stuff?” You ask.

“I wish I could say it’s some sort of fancy, scientific, protective disinfectant, but as it so happens it’s only nail polish remover.” You both chuckle quietly. “Janine gave it to me the last time I got superglue on something and couldn’t get it off.” He smiles down at your hands, still focused on getting the last little bit off.

“This slime is so different from the mood slime. I thought I saw it let go of a bubble, but it’s mostly doing nothing. I think it might be dead. I think it might be time to bury it in the backyard.” Peter begins to fake sob.

“Knock it off.” You laugh. “What backyard? This is Manhattan!”

“You should try touching it.” Peter suggests.

“Egon, said I should under no circumstances touch it directly, especially while he’s not here.” You inform him.

“Well Egon, is being overprotective. Nothing bad happened when everyone else touched the pink slime and I accidentally ate green slime once.” Venkman says.

“What do you mean accidentally?” You ask.

“It was our first mission. Slimer ran through me. It was a whole thing. I think you should touch it… You might be able to figure out what it is before Spengler gets back…” He tries to change your mind.

“You’re sure there were no serious side effects from touching the other slimes?” You ask, hesitantly. Egon would be annoyed if he found out you went against his pleas to keep your hands away from the plasma, but you wanted to impress him.

“Nothing serious. I grew an extra pinky, but they cut it off.” He jokes.

“Haha, very funny, Venkman.” You roll your eyes.

“Fine.” You sigh, taking a deep breath before plunging your hand into the blue viscous goo. “Oh…This is literally fine.” You feel no effect, but when your heart rate picks up you realize you spoke too soon. You fall onto the floor, knocking over the slime. You feel like your heart is racing, like it could beat out of your chest and you can’t suck enough air into your lungs. You’re terrified.

“(Y/N)!” Peter yells, rushing to the floor to help you. He tries to touch the the hand not covered in blue slime, but you push him away, sobbing. You don’t want him anywhere near you. You’re slipping away from reality into a deep state of panic and paranoia.

“Please! No!” You sob. It’s the only thing you can manage to get out. You barley recognize Peter anymore. He doesn’t feel like a friend. He feels like a threat.

“Honestly, the movie was quite terrible. Ray stopped for a 99 cent pizza on the corner. What did you- (Y/N)?!” Egon speaks as he enters the room, cutting himself off when he notices you’re in distress.

“Pete, what happened?!” Egon questions once he sees Venkman.

“We were doing an experiment and they touched the goo and they just started freaking out. They won’t let me near them.” Peter tells him, obviously shaken. You hear the two men, but you don’t process them. It’s like you’re underwater.

“This is different from their usual sensory issues. I think they’re having a panic attack.” Egon kneels in front of you. “(Y/N), you’re okay. You’re safe. You’re in the firehouse. I’m here.” He tells you slowly.

“I- I can’t breathe!” You gasp for air.

“Your lungs are expanding and contracting at a rate too fast for your body to intake oxygen. I need you to try to breathe slow and deep with me. In…and out. Nice and slow.” He prompts. “Peter, I need latex gloves and towels.” Venkman could have made multiple jokes about Egon’s command, but looking at you this way made him uneasy. It wasn’t the right time. After being handed the gloves, Egon slipped them on and got to work cleaning off your slime covered arm. You begin to sob, overwhelmed by the feeling of the slime, the latex gloves, and the towel. It was difficult to handle on top of your panic attack. “Peter, we need to get them into the decontamination shower.”

“No!” You gasp between sobs.

“Come, on. I’ll go with you. We can get all the plasma off of you.” Egon speaks softly, but with a gentle urgency, as he tries to coax you to the shower. You shake your head no. “Are you against touch right now?” He asks.

“They did not like when I touched them.” Venkman warns.

“Only you-“ You break out in a sob. It doesn’t even cross your mind that you may be offending Peter by only wanting Egon. Luckily he’s not offended. Egon begins to take off his glove to provide skin to skin contact on the arm not drenched in slime in an effort to comfort you.

“Aren’t you worried about getting that stuff on you?” Venkman questions, worried Egon will shutdown like you.

“I’m getting in the decontamination shower anyway.” Egon shrugs, turning to you. He takes your hand in his, softly rubbing the top with his thumb.

“But- but your clothes will get all wet!” You sob. You knew Egon had his own sensory issues. You’d often have to help him when his long sleeves would get wet during experiments. It would drive him crazy. He avoided puddles like the plague and always had an umbrella nearby.

“Try not to worry about me right now. I just want you to focus on your breathing. I can always change my clothes.” He smiles. While it hurts him to see you so distressed, he was happy to know you cared about his comfort. “Let’s go shower. You can’t leave all that slime on you. I believe it’s worsening your mental state.” You nod, still crying.

“I’ll get them under the shower, I’ll need you to turn it on. Make sure not to touch the slime. I got a minuscule amount on my finger and it’s making me rather anxious. I can only imagine what this amount is doing to them.” Egon tells Peter. He helps you to stand, walking your trembling form over to the shower. “There we go. Just a few more steps. You’re doing wonderfully, (Y/N).” Egon softly attempts to comfort you.

Once you’re under the shower head, Venkman turns it on. Both you and Egon jolt at the sudden water pressure. He tightens both his jaw and his grip on you, holding his eyes shut tight. He can’t stand the feeling of his wet clothes against his body, but he’s brave for you. Once adjusted to the water, Egon begins to wash the slime off your body with care. Peter leaves to go upstairs and get you some towels. You feel the panic and paranoia start to leave your body. Despite still being incredibly anxious, you were starting to phase out of your slime induced panic attack. You lean against Egon, struggling to hold your own body weight. Maybe you’ll be more embarrassed tomorrow, but right now you just needed to be held. You were craving pressure on your body. You felt as if you would float off the ground if you weren’t held down. Egon wraps his arms around you, bringing you closer. He places a kiss on your forehead before placing his chin on top of your head. You snuggled into his chest, finding his pulse. You didn’t have the time or the bandwidth in your brain to think about what the kiss meant. You just wanted to be close to him.

“You’re okay, (Y/N). You’re safe.” Egon tells you. You’re not sure if it’s for your benefit or his. It’s for both, really.

You’re quiet for most of the night, unable to bring yourself to speak. Egon doesn’t mind. He thinks a verbal shutdown is more than understandable after the night you’ve had. After the shower, you follow Egon around the fire station. You don’t want to be alone right now. He doesn’t mind. He puts out some of his clothes for you to wear; pajama pants and one of his soft sweaters. He goes to leave the room for you to change, but you stop him.

“Can- can we just like? Turn around?” You ask. “I’m sorry. If you’re uncomfortable, that’s okay. I just really don’t wanna be alone right now.” You voice is hoarse from crying.

“Of course.” He smiles, turning around.

“I’m decent.” He informs you after a minute of rustling.

“Me too.” You tell him and you both turn around.

“I’m sorry.” You tell him, near tears again. You feel awful for how tonight went. This was supposed to be the boys’ day off. Egon gives you a sad look.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You were just trying to help. Venkman told me he put you up to it anyway.” Egon sighs.

“I probably shouldn’t have listened to him.” You let out a sad chuckle, one tear slipping past you, down your cheek. You wipe it quickly.

“Never listen to Venkman.” Egon gives a sad laugh.

“At least we figured out what the slime does… Egon, can I ask you a question?” You hesitate.

“Well, you just did, but yes.” He smiles, joking to lighten the mood. You smile at him.

“Why did you do all that? You took off your gloves, putting yourself at risk and then you put yourself through sensory hell just to get me cleaned up.” You question him.

“Isn’t it obvious? (Y/N), I care about you.” You look at him, thinking about the tone in his words. You can’t quite decipher it, but there’s something else there. Is it possible he could feel the same way about you that you feel about him? “You should get some sleep.” He interrupts your thoughts. “If you’d rather not be alone, you may sleep in my room tonight. I would find it beneficial to monitor you overnight to watch for long lasting effects, anyway.” He adds.

“Only if that’s okay with you.” You hesitate.

“Of course it’s okay with me. I just suggested it.” He smiles.

Once you’re settled into bed, Egon turns off the lights and climbs in next to you.

“Egon, I’m still anxious.” You blurt out into the dark.

“Do you need pressure?” He asks.

“Yes.” You say, hoping he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t seem to mind, as he scoops you into his arms. You cuddle into his chest, surrounded by him, surrounded by safety. You know this should be weird, but it doesn’t feel weird. As Egon kisses the top of your forehead again, bidding you goodnight, you wonder what this all means. You wonder what you are to each other. You feel you’ve crossed the line as friends, but you’re too tired and too awkward and too anxious to talk about labels. You and Egon never quite fit into boxes as people anyway. Your relationship didn’t need to either. Whatever this was between you was comforting. It was safe and it was going to help you sleep tonight.

#egon spengler #egon spengler x reader #peter venkman #peter venkman x reader #ghostbusters #ghostbusters x reader #ghostbusters fanfiction #ghostbusters fanfic #ghostbusters imagine #ghostbusters oneshot #egon spengler fanfic #Egon Spengler fanfiction #egon spengler imagines #Egon Spengler oneshot #harold ramis #bill murray

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harmonysanreads · 30 days

Note

HARMONYYY i just finished the penacony quest and OH MY GOD. the emotional damage wtf... and the murderer 😕 i honestly don’t think anyone could’ve foreseen that

on another note, sunday really does have huge yandere potential !!! (i was swooning the entire time he was on screen im sorry.) he literally isn’t beating the allegations at all. even the other characters comment on how weird it is for him to casually keep a model of the golden hour, because what in the control freak 😭

he seems like he’d play dollhouse with darling. after all, in a place like that, every single aspect of it is under his thumb — literally. having that much control over your circumstances is a reassurance. oh, are the placeholder models crashing? don’t worry dear, he can fix the malfunctions. he can even make them speak more realistically for you. he can give anything to you, even change the layout of the place entirely if you’re bored of it. you want to get back to normal size? well, he can’t quite do that just yet, please understand..

or if he pulls that weird interrogation magic thing on them. darling who just lies through the entire thing, and he uses this to scare them about the death countdown while not mentioning the part that he has the power to really just cancel it in the end. though, the same trick won’t work on them twice. at least the process gets darling to become part of the family in the end.

not to mention the spies he has everywhere. stupid birds watching you in every corner…

idk i just want to hold him and shake him aggressively. out of love, of course.

- 🕯️

When I tell you I've lost sleep over the thought of just how much more Sunday is probably capable of doing, nonnie.

If he has access to technology and power like this, which are all unrestricted for his personal use moreover, imagine the things he's hiding. And imagine farther the things he had to do to get to where he is today, another dash of spice to the mix. I went back to his scenes and did some thinking. The me-slandering-Sunday is obviously a joke but I really, really hope people just don't focus on the morally-gray and questionable aspects of him and completely disregard his other characteristics now.

If you think about things from his perspective, he really is just trying his best to keep the image of The Family. But the loss of probably the only person he trusted with his heart and the disregard to bring justice to that case from The Family's side, compelled him to put his agenda first (as he himself mentions that he allowed Aventurine to pull that stunt so that it'd lure Gallagher out). What we get from this is, while Sunday is an extremely dedicated member of their faction, he had to learn to be selfish in certain situations to save his and Robin's backs.

The desire to control usually comes from a feeling of helplessness. We can make some speculations based on the current information of why Sunday has these tendencies, I've also seen some people say he has OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) but, we can't be sure until his full lore drops. Another thing to note about Sunday is how lonely he probably is, especially at present. The Family is in chaos, the situation of Robin, external forces' traps, the Charmony festival's deadline and he doesn't even have one person he can sit down with and not question their motives. He really must want to rest just as much as the characters around him are suggesting.

So basically, Sunday is a multi-layered character, just like Aventurine. He's definitely a politician, is what I'll say. Even though he is a control freak whose motives are hard to guess, he's still that little boy fighting for his and Robin's shared dream inside.

#but he still deserves to be aggressively shaken for that move on aven #and then sent to a three month vacation #do you guys catch my drift my here like you can still manipulate him to do your bidding :)#opps... didn't mean to drop that #sunday brainrot #──⚝🕯️anon #yandere sunday #yandere sunday x reader #sunday x reader #yandere hsr #yandere hsr x reader

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goldengleams · 5 months

Note

Can you do a “things that make sense as a boyfriend” for jack please?? :)

here you go!!!

jack is definitely a softie

like he won’t admit it or ask to cuddle you but if you’re laying down in bed or on the couch he will for sure be laying right on your boobs

lowkey not great at texting back but he knows this so he tries to leave you little love notes around the house every once in a while to make up for it

isn’t a huge fan of pda but will always, always have a hand on your back at all times

also loves to walk like, directly next to you

like you’ll be out on a walk and jack is just…in your space

“j, move over, im tripping over you.”

“trippin, stumblin,”

“im literally going to shove you off the curb!”

jack is private but not shy

but it does take a while for him to introduce you to the fam because he’s nervous about the attention

but to combat this…

i feel like jack would pay attention to the videos you watch and where you’ve said you want to travel

“babe, wake up!”

“jack, it’s 7 in the morning, go back to bed!”

“fine, but if you want to get up, we can get on a flight to your favorite beach by noon.”

“…”

“you’re insane. but also yes, i am up.”

spontaneous when he has time!!

will always be down to try out new restaurants or walk around in nyc

im gonna go with you living in nyc/nj because i see jack with a city girl

you’re always teasing him about not knowing how to drive and always ordering rides instead of taking the subway

jack isn’t overly protective but he definitely wants to make sure you get home safe every night

oh to add onto the city thing

jack would 100% go do all of the christmas stuff with you

like he’s beaming when he sees your eyes light up at the sights of the busiest city around the holidays

mans lives to make you smile

definitely competitive

like is obsessed with watching sports and playing against you in fantasy football

already has stupid shit planned for you because he’s determined that you’re going to lose

“im only losing because you and luke were scheming against me!”

“better luck next time baby!”

not good at cooking but does like to bake with you

(side note: will literally never admit to anyone that he enjoys watching the great british baking show with you. never)

easygoing, so fights don’t happen that much

but he will get snippy with you around the beginning of the season

and if he’s hurt…

“jack, im just trying to help you, you put yourself in more pain trying to put your shirt on alone.”

“I don’t want help, ive got it. go away.”

will be the first one to apologize after a fight

gets emotional over you because jack cares about you a lot, just sometimes isn’t the best at communication

but once you guys talk he is smothering you in a big hug and wiping your tears away

ellen taught this man well obviously

lets you say what he wasn’t ready to hear before and like actually understands you

“I love you, always will.”

“love you too, j.”

Just a few thoughts for you!! Send in some more requests and I’ll try to do them in between my finals!!

#jack hughes #nhl #nhl hockey #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #luke hughes

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cybertron-after-dark · 1 month

Note

I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about

If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.

As for the rant

Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.

While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)

But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.

Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.

Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)

Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).

Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.

Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.

Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍

#post written while ugly sobbing a little #rescue bots was written with this complete and utter kindness baked into it #as much as i praise the show for the comedy and character aspects #which are still wonderful in their own right #it must not be understated how genuine and sweet and compassionate the writing is #the funny little flash animated robot show did more research than sia ever did with her shitshow hatecrime of a movie #maccadam #transformers #rescue bots

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yxami · 1 year

Text

yan roomate who’s a brat and cannot live without your attention.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ • • •

“Did you steal my shampoo again? I literally just fucking bought that 2 days ago??!?” You held up the lavender shampoo bottle that was obviously way emptier than you had it before.

“I didn’t steal your stupid fucking shampoo! We just have the same one, not my fault!” Your roommate crossed his arms and glared at you.

Malakai was your roommate, the both of you fought often. Getting into fights, arguments, etc. It was hectic and chaotic in your dorm but that was normal.

He had stolen once again from your bathroom. This time it was that brand new lavender shampoo that blessed your nose with such a good smell that made you buy it immediately.

“You’re so irritating, you always steal my stuff! I also told you to not drink the orange juice I bought because that was just for ME, I needed it for breakfast today and you finished it”

“I was thirsty, that’s not my fault. Maybe if you bought more then you wouldn’t be having this pro—“

Your fist connected with his stomach with an average level force. You knocked the breath out of him and he quickly placed his hand on his stomach.

“Ah-, you’re such an asshole” He quickly swung at you that hit your chest and the both of you landed on his bed.

Your bodies entangled as you wrestled trying to get the upper hand. You felt his warm touched all over you, they weren’t pleasant though as they were pushing and pulling on your body. You did the same as well, still trying to get the advantage.

You felt a stinging blow on your arm, if felt warm and it vibrated with painful sensitivity. This earned Malakai a painful slap to the face once your hand was freed.

Petty slaps and hits were given left and right while your bodies struggled to get on top. The bed creaked and squeaked with all the commotion on top.

After a lot of meaningless punches, throws and almost falling off the bed, the both of you gave up, having wasted your energy; both sets of eyes glared at each other with immense irritation.

His face so close to yours, you could get a clear view of his soft glaring eyes. His face was captivating and you found that so frustrating about him.

After the arguing and fighting, your bodies became tired, sweaty, and sticky. You panted, being under him at the end of the fight. Your chest rose up and fell down quickly. He stared down at you, quick breathing almost matching yours.

Your bodies paused like that for just a few moments. Your eyes once again meeting, you felt like you saw something weird in his eyes. Some emotion other than irritation, you didn’t know what but it made his eyes look just a tiny bit gentle despite your fighting.

His face turned a bit red, rushing to getting off you, he almost fell off the bed. “Tch, I still won.” He said smugly.

“Yeah, whatever.. who still got bitch slapped? You” You giggled at his red cheek that had your hand imprint.

Physical fights were usual with the two of you. They weren’t serious, it was just frustration being let out between the two of you. The frustration was always with each other though.

“Still won” His voice teased you, almost mocking you as well.

“Yeah yeah..” You gave up on arguing with the little brat that was your roommate.

You left the room and went to go find your phone that you had left somewhere in the kitchen. Once should found it on the dinner table you decided to invite someone over. Why not? You were bored and wanted to hangout with a friend.

Malakai quickly locked his door once you were out and threw himself on his bed. Every time he fought you he couldn’t help but gush at the memory of you touching him.

He didn’t care if you were slapping him or brushing your hand on him. He loved your attention, especially when you degraded him for using your stuff and refusing to go out and buy his own things.

He loved when you argued with him, spewing insults left and right. He just loved everything about you.

When he first moved in, he slowly realized how obsessed he was with you. Especially when you hurt him during the fights you had.

He had never felt like that before so he was caught off guard and stayed away from you for the first couple of weeks when you moved in. But his obsession grew stronger and stronger, and his neediness for your presence kicked at him to go see you.

Which made him become the bratty roommate he is today. Always looking for a way to piss you off and gain a new mark on his body.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ • • •

“Hey!! Thanks for inviting me over, I can’t wait to get on and see the new level. I heard it’s super fucking cool!” Your friend quickly rambled on for the reason of the visit as you closed the door.

They easily made themself comfortable which you didn’t mind.

Oliver was always like that, carefree and blissfully happy all the time. That’s what made you appreciate him as your close friend.

You turned on your game console and handed him the game you both were going to play. You sat on the couch next time him and he insisted for you to sit closer.

He was always touchy and nice to you which always made you flustered. You scooted closer to him which he responded with wrapping his arm around you. He was excited to play and wanted you close so the both of you could focus together. It was a multiplayer helping game after all!!

Malakai heard laughing and talking. The beloved voice he always loved to hear was speaking to some unrecognizable guy. He rushed to the living room but acted casual.

He popped his head in the between of you and made a snarky comment. “Wow, this game totally doesn’t look like it’s played by virgins. What kind of dorks are you guys?”

“Go the hell away Malakai” You responded swiftly to his bitchy comment.

“Aw, cmon. I genuinely wanna know! You guys look like you’re actually enjoying it. What’s so fun about it?” He snatched the controller from your friend.

Oliver had uneasy eyes, not sure what to do but let him take it. He was a nice guy after all and didn’t want to be rude to your roommate.

“Don’t be an asshole, you’re not funny” You give back the controller to Oliver and glared at Malakai.

To which Malakai looked unbothered, he just looked at you guys continue to play. It looked like a teamwork game. Both players on screen needed to help each other while being in an apocalyptic world. The new level including a new type of zombie, even more difficult than the last.

Malakai still leaning against the back of the couch observed how excited you looked to be playing.

Every time you guys successfully completed a challenge, you would high-five him to which he high-fived you back! Then back to the game!

He didn’t like the way Oliver or you looked at each other. It pissed him off. Really bad.

You didn’t notice Malakai’s obvious signs of anger, but Oliver sure did. He looked nervous with Malakai’s death stare. It got worse when you stood up and went to the kitchen to get snacks.

“Hey, why are you still here? Can you fuck off? Nobody likes that you’re here” Malakai insulted him as soon as he got the chance.

“Wha? What did I do?” Oliver looked genuinely confused , caught off guard by Malakai’s comment.

“They doesn’t even like you, they’re just being nice to you cause you’re pathetic and annoying.” He continued.

“Sorry? I’ll leave the two of you alone-“ Oliver didn’t put up a fight. He didn’t want to get in a fight. Malakai was intimidating after all, especially with his height and appearance.

Once you came back with drinks and chips, you noticed the weird atmosphere.

“Hey.. I’m gonna go, I’m not feeling too well so I’m gonna try and sleep it off.” Oliver looked uneasy as if something was bothering him.

“Oh! That sucks, I thought we were gonna play all day… Well, drive home safe okay? Sorry you’re feeling sick” You had a sincere apologetic look on your face. Which Malakai didn’t like, what was so special about that loser?

“Y-yeah! See you soon, I hope we can play for awhile another time” Oliver collected his few things and hurriedly left. Not before saying his goodbyes though.

Once the door shut, you questioned Malakai.

“What the hell did you do? I leave for not even a minute and Oliver suddenly wants to leave”

“Pff, I don’t know. I didn’t do anything, why are you accusing me immediately?” He got defensive.

“God, you always have to ruin something for me don’t you? It’s always this thing with you! I can never enjoy something with YOU around!” You yelled at him so loudly, the walls wanted to shake.

As you left in silence, he couldn’t help but stand there dumbfounded. You didn’t actually mean that did you? He made you mad but you didn’t hit him or anything, just yelled. He didn’t like that.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ • • •

The night had passed, cold and radio silent. No yelling about Malakai taking a long shower, no yelling about how he left dishes in the sink, no nothing.

He finally spoke up clearing his dry throat. “Uhm, do you have classes today?”

No answer…

Once he registered that you weren’t gonna respond he looked up and saw you sitting on the couch watching TV. It’s obvious you just washed the dirty dishes he had left last night, soap still leaving down the drain.

“Hello?” He left the kitchen area and walked up to you.

You didn’t even acknowledge his presence, still staring at the TV. It was a good show, you always watched that show. But why weren’t you responding?

“I’m talking to you, respond” He started getting annoyed. Looking down at you, he finally understood.

“You’re ignoring me??”

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“What did I do”

“Are you gonna respond?

“Respond”

Even with his questions and statement, not one got a response.

Malakai was getting worried. He didn’t even do anything majorly bad, he’s done stupider stuff. And this is the one thing that got you to ignore him?? How long were you going to ignore him.

“Hey, I’m not playing around anymore” He poked at you. Even sitting down next to you to get your attention.

“Answer cmon, I didn’t do anything wrong!!” He didn’t like that you weren’t uttering a word.

He didn’t care if your attention to him was negative like hitting him or yelling at him. At least he had your attention. But if you were ignoring him he would not be able to mentally live. He could’ve live without your attention on him.

His eyes started to water and felt a large lump in his throat. “Cmon… I’m sorry please respond” He lightly shook you desperate for any acknowledgment.

“Look.. I’m sorry I won’t be mean anymore just talk to me please” He sobbed, his hands trembled as they laid on your shoulder and thigh. His black strands sticking to his wet cheeks, he continued to look at you with his endearing saddened eyes.

“please…” his cries were now unbearable to your stubbornness. You didn’t expect him to start sobbing just cause you ignored him. It caught you way off guard and now you felt bad even though he was being an asshole. When you were mad all you did was curse and fight with him.

You pat his head messing his hair as he jumped up noticing you finally paid attention to him. He jumped at you with a hug sobbing even louder than before. “I’m sorry” He mumbled.

He snuggled into your neck while you just sighed.

“God, what am I gonna do with you?”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ • • •

#yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #not rlly #gender neutral reader #gn reader #obsession #fighting #male #male yandere #series #malakaimyoc

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hearts4hughes · 1 year

Note

Hi! I love your writing….Can I please get #7. “you don’t have to like me, you just need to pretend you do.” With Quinn Hughes??

fake dating - quinn hughes

quinn hughes x fem! reader

warnings: swearing, nothing else :)

notes: this took way too long for me to write. it’s lightly proofread because i have no motivation to fully proofread it. i was really proud of this imagine towards the beginning, but i feel like it’s just really rushed at the end. let me know how it is!

gif is not mine

it wasn’t a secret that you and quinn hughes didn’t get along. it was quiet obvious to anyone who was in the same room as you two for even a few seconds.

with your mom being best friends with ellen- quinn’s mother- you spent most your time with the hughes family. this wasn’t something that bothered you. after meeting luke and jack, you immediately clicked. they were both like little brothers / best friends to you. however, you couldn’t say the same for the eldest hughes brother.

you weren’t sure what you did to annoy or upset quinn, but you do know the first time meeting him, he grew a deep disliking to you. most of your memories with quinn consisted of excessive teasing. for example, one of your favorite things to do at the hughes’ lake house was to tan. quinn quickly ruined that however after dumping a bucket of ice cold water on you while you tanned outside.

years, and years passed, and quinn’s disliking to you only grew deeper. he didn’t even tease you anymore, he just stopped paying attention to you in all. you didn’t know why it upset you so much, but it did. you’d spent countless nights crying yourself to sleep over an asshole who literally didn’t even acknowledge your existence.

quinn didn’t quite understand why he did this to you. the first time he saw you, he’d felt feelings he never had before. you were the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. but quinn hughes didn’t show any emotion. he was a closed book. so, his only way to avoid confrontation with his emotions was so teach himself to hate you. thus where the hatred started.

even this wasn’t enough for quinn, though. he thought if he insulted and teased you enough, he’d make himself believe the things he’d been saying to you were actually true. but it only made him fall in love with you more. he’d spend countless nights obsessing over you, wondering what type of spell you put on him that made him feel this way.

quinn knew what he had to do. he had to just make himself forget everything about you. which after further examination was impossible- without some sort of head trauma. therefore, his only other option was to completely ignore you. the less he’d engaged with you, the less he’d like you.

what confused you now was the fact that quinn hughes- the same quinn hughes who was your sworn enemy- was laying sprawled out across your bed, begging you to be his date to a party his family was throwing.

“is this some sort of prank?” you ask dumbfound.

“i really wish it was.” he huffs out. “but it’s not.”

were you in some alternate universe or something?

“ok,” you ask in disbelief. “explain what you want me to do again, please?”

“oh my fucking god.” he groans, shaking his body dramatically. “i need you to act like my girlfriend so my family can stop bugging me about bringing someone to this stupid party.”

“i just don’t understand it.” you laugh out sarcastically.

“what don’t you understand?” he runs this hands through his hair in frustration. “you don’t have to have to like me. you just need to pretend you do.”

“why you wouldn’t just ask anyone else is what i don’t understand.” you throw your hands up as if it wasn’t obvious. “i mean you, quinn hughes, could get anyone to gladly go to that event with you. i mean girls would beg, and beg to fake being your girlfriend… and you choose me? someone who would rather stab her eyeballs out than be seen with you.”

“first off, you are such a liar. it’s a privilege to be seen with me.” he starts off smug and cocky as ever. “second, yeah i think i know anyone else would gladly go with me. when i told jack he had like ten girls that were fighting to go with me.”

“and this is relevant because?” you say in an annoyed tone.

was he trying to make you jealous?

honestly, quinn himself didn’t know the answer to that one, but if he was, it was definitely working.

“listen, y/n.” he sits up on your bed. “i know you. our families have been best friends since forever. you are close with my mom, dad, jack, and luke. my entire family.” he counts on his fingers to get his point across. “what i’m trying to say is my family loves you. if i come there with some random girl, i’m going to have to go through the grueling process of introducing her to everyone and all that shit. with you i don’t have to do that.”

you take a moment to actual consider doing this for him. “what’s in it for me?”

“both our families won’t try to make us like each other anymore.” he reasons.

“fine.” your voice is barely above a whisper as you respond. the second quinn hears your response, he’s jumping with joy. a toothy grin takes over his face as he’s yelling out ‘thank you’s’ and other endearments.

“calm down over there.” a big smile takes over your face as you witness a side of quinn you’ve never seen before.

“sorry,” his cheeks flush red. “i’ll pick you up around 5pm tomorrow because it takes an hour to get there and it starts around 6.”

“i can’t believe i’m saying this,” you shake your head, looking up at the sky. “but, alright.”

quinn bids one last farewell and thank you before exiting your apartment.

5pm the next day roles around a lot quicker than you expected. your currently sitting in front of your vanity mirror. while fixing your lipstick, you hear a knock on your door. nervously, you put the small plastic tube of lipstick down and walk towards the door.

on the other side of the door awaits a nervous and eager quinn. he wipes his palms on his black dress pants, nervous how he’s going to react when he sees you.

you’d think from the amount of times quinn has seen you dressed up, he’d get used to it. but he never did. every time he sees you in a small, tight, fancy dress, his palms start to sweat and he can barely form a coherent sentence. of course you two never talked enough for you to actually notice your affect on him.

opening the door slowly, quinn comes into your view. he looks amazing. he’s wearing his signature black suit- not caring enough to buy a new one- and his hair is slightly messy. you could barely say the words ‘come in’, shocked at his gorgeous appearance.

quinn’s reaction wasn’t much different. the second you opened the door, his eyes landed on the navy blue mini-dress that dangerously hugged your curves. his throat went dry as he scanned up and down your body. the dress showed just a little bit of cleavage, not enough to be over the top, but just enough to make quinn want to pant like a dog. the material stopped at your mid thigh, exposing your whole leg. god, quinn was practically drooling just seeing this shade of blue on you.

“uh, come in.” you blink a few times, bringing yourself back to reality.

quinn shallows nervously, biting the inside of his cheek and nodding.

“i’m just finishing up my makeup, but i won’t take to long.” you awkwardly smile.

in response, quinn mumbles a quiet ‘ok’ and just nods his head. he was never much of a talker, so you just brushed it off as post party nerves.

with you exiting the room, quinn is left alone in your living room. he slowly wanders around the room, letting his fingertips brush against your fabric couch. different photos that decorated the walls and tables of your apartment catch his eye. he smiles to himself as he picks up a photo of you and emily- your best friend. you must’ve been around 13 or 14 because you and emily both wear the goofiest smile, showing off your different color braces. he lets out a small chuckle. even in your awkward teen phase, quinn was still head over heels for you.

placing down the small frame, he moves onto a different photo. you’re older in this photo. he guesses around 17 to 18. it also appears to be prom night. standing in the middle of a large group of friends, you beam with happiness. quinn vividly remembers this night. something that seemed to slip his memory was the boy standing a little too close to you. his jaw began to clench at the photo in front of him. the blonde boy’s hands were wrapped around your body. your face was flushed as you leaned back against the tall boy’s frame. it’s honestly surprising quinn didn’t whip the framed photo across the room in a jealousy rage.

“quinn?” you call out from behind him.

he quickly places the photo down, turning around to face you.

“are you ready?” he asks, pushing the jealous thoughts in the back of his head.

you noticed his sudden tense figure, confused at what he had just seen, but you just nodded.

leaving your apartment, quinn runs up to the car, opening the passenger door. he wasn’t really sure why he did it, but he made a mental note to do it more because it made you smile.

the car ride over was short. you both took the time to make a believable story for how you and quinn went from enemies to lovers miraculously. the story you agreed on was that you both realized that you never hated each other. you were both actually in love, but didn’t want to admit it. that story hit a little too close to home for both of you.

arriving at the hughes’ lake house, the nerves were really starting to set in. once again, quinn ran around the car, opening the passenger door for you and helping you out. the little subconscious movement gave you butterflies in your stomach and a familiar pink blush to your cheeks.

the walk up to the house seemed like forever. neither of you were in a rush to walk into the party. walking up the brick steps, quinn slips his hand in yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze and finally opening the door.

as you and quinn walk hand in hand to the party, everyone’s attention seems to be shifted over to you. you both get sent confused looks and a whole lot of furrowed brows, but quinn pushes through the crowd ignoring them. quinn notices jack, luke, ellen, and jim all standing together and makes his way over to them.

“hey!” you awkwardly yell out.

first, it’s ellen and jim. they’re expressions fall a bit, shocked by the scene in front of them, but they’re quick to pick them back up.

then, it’s jack and luke. jack doesn’t even seem phased as he goes in to dap up his older brother. same with luke. he just stands there with a drink in hand, smirking.

“hi sweetie!” ellen greets us, coming in to give you a tight hug. “i’m glad you could both make it.”

“we’d never miss a hughes’ party!” you beam.

“well i’m glad you two could both come, but i must say i’m a bit surprised to see you here together.” jim is the next to speak up. he mirrors ellen’s greeting by bringing me in a hug.

“yeah, we are too.” quinn blushes, looking at your proudly. the look he gives you could’ve made you faint right there and then, but you keep composure.

the rest of the night consisted of a lot of explaining. a lot of explaining. almost everyone there was confused as of how this happened based on your history, but you and quinn sold the story of your ‘relationship’.

as quinn pulls into the parking lot of your apartment complex, you don’t want to night to end. being this close to quinn tonight really healed your inner child. you got to be with him romantically for two hours. it definitely was enough to make you forget about the past heartbreak he’s caused you.

“quinn,” you say softly.

“yes, love?” his use of the pet name sends adrenaline through your veins.

“what are we going to tell everyone tomorrow?”

the question had been the elephant in the room the entire night. you both had been avoiding it. not wanting this daydream to end.

“i guess that we broke up.” he answers unsurely, rubbing the back of his neck.

“oh, ok.” you mumble. “thank you for tonight. i had fun.”

“thank you for pretending to like me for tonight.” he says, nervously laughing. you fake a little chuckle, knowing what he said isn’t totally accurate.

silence fills the car as you two admire each other. your body is turned towards quinn as his hands rest on the steering wheel.

“i wasn’t pretending.” your words are barely above a whisper, not really intending for quinn to hear, but he does.

“what?” he asks, unsure if he heard you correctly. his mouth is hanging slightly open and his eyes are wide.

“i wasn’t pretending to like you, quinn.” you respond once again. this time you are more confident in your words.

hearing the words again makes quinn fall back in his seat. he looks up to the ceiling of the car in disbelief. ‘was this some prank?’ was all he could think because it didn’t seem real that the girl he’s been in love with since he was a kid was telling him that she liked him back.

“are you serious?” he asks a little harsher than he means to. his tone of voice startles you, causing tears to swell in your eyes.

“um,” you try to hold back the sobs, but once the tears begin to fall, the sobs spill out not long after.

you couldn’t believe you let your guard down like that. he might’ve been acting nice, but he’s still quinn hughes. once an asshole, always an asshole.

“oh no, baby.” quinn coos, wrapping his arms around you. “don’t cry. i didn’t mean it like that.”

“then what did you fucking mean it like?!” you cry out, looking at him through tears.

“i- uh,” he can’t find the words he wants to say.

“save it. i don’t want to hear your excuse.” you mutter. you pull yourself out of his hold, throwing the car door open and stepping out.

the second you exit the car, droplets of rain hit your body, but you don’t care. you storm towards your apartment building, despite hearing the car door shut.

“y/n!” quinn calls out, grabbing your wrist and causing you to spin around suddenly.

“leave me alone.” you growl. your face is painted with aggressive features. your jaw is clenched, eyes dark, and you’re sending quinn a glare that could burn holes in his head.

“just listen to me!” his voice drips of desperation as he practically begs.

you don’t respond, allowing him to continue.

“i really, really like you.” he starts off. “i’m not good with expressing my feelings as you can tell, but i’ve liked you since we met.”

“stop lying to make me feel better. you hated me when we met.” you blurt out, not buying what he was giving you.

“i didn’t, thought! i only acted like i hated you because i didn’t know how to confront the fact that i was in love with you.”

your gaze softens at his confession, still staying silent, allowing him to further continue. you both ignore the rain pelleting against your skin.

“dammit, y/n, i’m totally whipped over you. haven’t you seen that?” he moved his grip from your wrist, to your hand- holding it tightly.

“no,” you whisper.

“your just so gorgeous it’s not fair, and i’ve never felt that way about anyone else. i mean look at you in this dress right now. you are absolutely stunning inside and out. how was i not supposed to fall in love with you?”

“quinn,” you interrupt him. “kiss me.”

he doesn’t waste anytime, smashing his lips against yours. the kiss is filled with passion and pent up frustration. your fingers tangle in his wet hair while his hands find your waist.

breathless, you pull away from the kiss. the rains starts to come down a little harder, ruining your dress clothes, but neither of you seem too fazed.

“you don’t know how long i’ve waited to do that for.” he admits, smiling cheekily.

“you don’t know either.” you attempt to bite back a wide grin, but you fail miserably.

looking up at the sky, and then your soaking wet clothes, quinn laughs.

“we really just had a hallmark movie type moment.” he jokes, wrapping his arms around you.

“i guess so.” you giggled, leaning into quinn’s hold. “let’s go inside.”

#hearts4hughes #nhl imagine #hockey blurb #hockey imagines #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagines #nora's writings 💐

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messrmoonyy · 8 months

Note

friends with benefits with Tess but reader has some feelings for her and Tess rejects her a lot and tells her she just wants to have sex with her. But she’s trying to keep her safe because she’s scared that because she does bad things she might make reader be in danger. But Tess sometimes thinks that she wants to be with reader because she has feelings. But one time Tess finally sees that she has feelings for the reader too and they get together

If that’s okay it’s okay if you don’t want to write that

Apartment 342

Tess Servopoulos x reader

A/N- this is not even remotely as smutty as the request may make you think I’m js. Angst, smut( if you squint ), fluff, hurt comfort. All in one. I wrote the majority of this basically in one sitting right up until 2am last night. And I kinda love it. I’m also a little obsessed with Tess’ pov rn I don’t know if you noticed lmao. So this is a Tess pov. And again this literally just doesn’t have smut in. Like maybe 3 sentences. If that. I wanted tess’ emotions instead.

Warnings- smut ( oral ) if you squint, small mentions of violence and injury, honestly a pretty toxic relationship

Word count- 7.9 k

TLOU masterlist | navigation | AO3

Reblogs and comments are encouraged and appreciated. Support your writers <3

Tess ran a soothing hand over your leg as you stopped squirming, going slack with a blissful sigh. She unhooked your leg from over her shoulder and sat up, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand with a satisfied smirk on her face.

You always looked prettiest like that. Every muscle in your body turned to jelly, a blissed out look on your face. It made her chest twinge in a way she pretended not to notice.

“ you okay? “ she asked, getting up from the bed and walking over to the window, pushing it open to let some cool air into the now stifling apartment. And hoping the breeze might clear the fog in her mind.

“ I’m okay “ you said, making Tess glance back to see you shuffling to sit up “ you know someone might see you standing there fuckin naked in front of my window “

“ lucky them “ you scoffed, but smiled.

“ yeah. Lucky them “ she took another moment to feel the cold air before turning away from the window. The last thing she did need was someone seeing her there, as much as she had joked about it . It was why she always made a quick escape, she came for what she needed. Then she left. And that was that. It always had been.

That was the agreement. No strings attached. No emotions. No feelings.

“ you know you don’t have to leave straight away? “ you said as she started picking up her clothes, pulling her tshirt over her head “ you make me feel like one of those whores in the back streets of area 3 “

“ why? I don’t pay you “ you rolled your eyes at her bad attempt at a joke and she sighed, buttoning her jeans.

She had started to notice in the last few months your willingness to let her go when you were done was…. Lessening. You tried to make her talk, or even just talk at her. Prolong her visit. She wasn’t much of a talker, especially when it came to her emotions. Her feelings. And she got the idea that was exactly what you wanted to talk about.

Maybe she was stupid for letting you seduce her all those months ago, letting herself be drawn in and not cutting it off after the first time. It was nearing a year of her slipping through the zone to your apartment, using you as her personal form of stress relief.

And maybe she was stupid for thinking you would be able to follow the rules that she had set. That she would be able to follow them herself. Usually her self control was impeccable. But clearly not with you.

“ maybe you should pay me “ you said with what sounded like you were trying to joke back, but it didn’t quite carry. She walked over to you, tucking her fingers under your chin so you’d look up at her.

“ maybe I should. You always help me out don’t you sweetheart? “ she said with a smile, brushing her thumb across your jaw. She could see one of the conversations she liked to avoid with you brewing, the kind where you tried to make her stay. Tried to make her talk. The kind that almost always ended up in an argument. She could tell just looking at you, your eyes softening in that way they so often did when you looked at her. Gazing up like she was the most incredible thing you’d ever seen.

Eyes swimming with affection. Affection that she couldn’t accept.

Your hand came up to touch her cheek and felt like fire. Like your fingertips were molten and scolding her skin. And that look in your eyes…

" Tess.. "

" don't " she stopped you before you could be even remotely caring towards her. It was always the same. She always ran. She was always scared of letting you in, letting you break the last barricades she had up against you. The second you cracked her she was done for. The second she let you in this entire thing was ruined. She kept you at arms length because she had to, because she was too old for you. She was too dangerous.

She couldn’t.

She wondered if you knew her own control was slipping. If you knew she only pushed you away because she had to and that was why you’d taken to trying to make her talk more. Could you see the chink in her armour? Could you see that weak spot hiding and were trying to push at it?

She figured you did.

" are you okay? " she turned her head, your hand dropping from her cheek. Her skin still burnt. She could still feel you there. She always could. Your fingerprints were practically burned into her skin, a trail of everywhere you had touched her. Marking her in a way only she could see and feel.

How could she be okay when she felt like you were all over her? on her skin and in her mind.

" I'm fine " she lied.

" that's always your fuckin answer " you muttered, annoyance filtering into your words.

" because im always fine " she sighed, annoyance in her own voice as she pulled her jacket on ready to flee the situation. Fearing that one day you’d bring up that conversation and she’d crack. And she couldn’t. She couldn’t.

" no one is always fine Tess. You act like you’re so fucking strong all the time… but you can’t pretend with me. I see you " she gave a short laugh and grabbed her bag. Checking her gun was loaded and shoving it into her back pocket, it was past curfew after all. You sat up, holding the sheets to your chest as your eyes followed her as she collected up your clothes from the floor.

" well, I am " she dropped them next to you and you grabbed her arm before she could leave. She avoided your eyes at first, her jaw tightening. She didn’t want to deal with this conversation tonight. Or any night for that matter. She needed to get out of that damn apartment.

" Tess " she closed her eyes for a moment before meeting yours. They always looked so sad, like so much was going on behind those beautiful eyes. You wished she'd talk to you, she knew that. She knew you were silently begging for her to stay. To tell you what you wanted to hear. Wished she'd sit down and just spill every single trouble she had, confide in you. Trust you. But she couldn’t trust anyone. Not with emotions like that.

Deep down she wanted to. Wanted to stay and tell you that it would probably end up with both of you dead, but something was prickling in her chest every time she looked at you. Every time she was around you. But she knew it would only end in disaster.

" I'm fine sweetheart. Alright? Look I got shit to do oka- "

" I dont believe you "

" I'm not asking you to " she pulled slightly at your grip but you didn't let her go. And maybe that in itself was a little win for you, because she very easily could shake herself from your grip if she wanted to. You weren’t even holding her tightly and she was far stronger than you anyway. But she didn't. She stood there with your fingers wrapped around her wrist, letting you have that. Part of her wishing she could give in.

" you can talk to me. You don't have to leave 30 seconds after you fuck me you know. I don't know why you're so scared of me " she scoffed again at that “ or does only Joel get to hear your secrets huh? “ she shook her head and did let herself free from your grasp then, running a hand over face with a sigh.

That was another thing about you. You’d started suspecting you were just her side thing, that she was fucking Joel and then going around to you for seconds. Which was stupid. Both of you knew that, you were just getting desperate clearly.

Little did you know she hadn’t been with a single other person since she’d met you. Least of all Joel.

" scared of you. Please " she shook her head with a slightly bitter laugh, shaking off those thoughts “ sweetheart I hate to break it you but you’re least scary person in this entire fuckin QZ alright" she placed her hands on her hips in a way that demanded authority, that served as a reminded of who was in charge. Who was the boss. A reminder that she had the power there and you didn’t, and that wasn’t about to change “ that's not our arrangement. We don't... talk you know that. You said you were okay with that. It works. Don't rock the fuckin boat. Be a good girl, do as you’re told " her tone was almost condescending, mocking. Further reminding you to get back in line. She was being mean. She always was. But it worked and kept you in place where she needed you to be.

" right. Okay whatever " you pulled your clothes back on and stood up yourself as she headed for your door. But she stopped before she could reach for the handle, turning back around again.

She was curious about what had brought on tonight’s particular round of questions. They were getting more frequent.

" why are you doing this? " you raised an eyebrow clearly urging her to elaborate " this... trying to- we agreed no strings. This only works if we stay that way. If you listen " it was your turn to scoff and you folded your arms.

" I think you ruined that yourself when you turned up here with a bag of illegal shit last month Tess. You’re the one that pulled me into the shit you apparently wanted to keep me away from. So don’t give me that bullshit that this only works if you do this stupid fleeing act every time you come over here because you wanna fuck and forget "

She’d turned up with a bloody nose and her hood up, pushing into your apartment before you could even invite her in. She hadn’t known where else to go. She was tangled in a mess of some wannabe crime boss and had bitten off slightly more than she could chew. She’d thought going to you would be safe. There was nothing to link her to you, no reason why she’d go to you.

But 2 nights later you'd been jumped on your way home from a work assignment. You’d have died if she and Joel hadn’t turned up, Tess getting some strange feeling that something was going down, deciding to go check on you only to find you blacked out with two thugs searching your pockets.

She had kind of been forced to be a little more open with you after that. Though she still wasn’t exactly an open book because if you knew everything? she’d scare you away she knew it. If you knew the stuff she did, the gritty details of how she and Joel had made their way up the ladder of command in Boston. They didn’t get where they were by trading friendship bracelets.

She had told you she'd regretted going to you the moment she'd arrived, that she shouldn't have put you in that position. That danger. Yet also convinced no one would ever suspect she would go to you. Yet someone had clearly followed her. And then you. In honestly she’d never been so scared for your safety like that. Or anyone’s for that matter. And that concerned her. Because she wasn’t supposed to care.

Yet she clearly was.

She’d stayed in your apartment for 2 days after the attack. Sitting like a guard dog at your door in case someone tried to break in. She didn’t think she’d actually slept at all in those two days. She’d tended to your wounds, watched out the window like a hawk, brought you food.

That wasn’t the actions of someone that didn’t care. In fact it was quite the opposite

" you know why I had to do that. The whole reason I came to you was because we had no strings. There was nothing to connect us " it stung a little. She could tell, something flickering across your face. But you were both used to it. Hurting each other " I didn't know someone would follow me. I didn't think- look I'm not getting into this tonight. I came here because I was stressed, you're meant to help me relax and right now you're just giving me a fuckin headache sweetheart "

" right because that's all I'm good for for you isn't it? Stress relief? I’m not a fucking toy you know! God you're a fucking dick sometimes Tess, pushing people around for your own fuckin amusement right? " now it was her time to be stung. Just a little.

She didn’t want you thinking that. But she needed you to. She’d rather you hate her and be safe than feel for her and be battered to a pulp by some nobody in a back alley.

And she knew even if you did hate her you’d never lock her out. She had you by the throat and both of you knew it. You were putty in her hand and she knew how to press and mould you to exactly how she wanted. And you let her.

" why do you care? " you laughed at that like it was the stupidest thing she had ever said.

" because I do "

" that's not an answer "

" yeah well neither is 'I'm fine' when you clearly aren't so I guess we're both even huh? " you'd got her there, her jaw clenching again. Maybe you both got off on the arguing like that. Maybe you liked pushing her buttons as much as she enjoyed pushing yours " do you care? Huh? Does that fuckin cold heart in there even know what caring is? "

" do you think I'd be here if I didn't? " she snapped and she'd got you. For once she truly had rendered you speechless with that it seemed. It was pathetic really. The absolute bottom of the barrel bare minimum and yet it made your eyes widen, soften.

" you don't act like it " all your anger had gone from your words. You sounded weak now. She didn’t like the way it made her chest ache. It made her angry. Annoyed. Annoyed that you kept making her feel.

" I saved your life and I protect you every single day. And this is my thanks? Damn sweetheart, who’s the one with cold heart now hey? " she said and walked over to you in a way that would have been intimidating if you didn't know her, if you didn't know she'd never lay an agressive finger on you. A way that would make anyone else back up. But you held your ground. Maybe it was still a little intimidating though, the way she saw your breath catch. But you liked that and she knew you did " you think only one person tried to get you? Just that one I saved your ass from in the street? These kind of guys don't just stop at one person " she gave it a moment. Let it sink in.

Let you know that she had been taking care of you without you even knowing it. Telling you she felt something without really having to say it.

She tucked her fingers under your chin and for a moment she almost wanted to kiss you. Seeing you looking up at her like that. So vulnerable and innocent. So far from what she was. But she didn’t. She never kissed you. Never on the lips anyway. That was too… intimate. Kissing meant feelings.

She couldn’t feel things. She couldn’t have you feeling things.

" I- "

" I have a lot of people that don’t like me. That want what me and Joel have " her voice was low, almost threatening. She needed you to listen, to shake you out of the mood you were in " you think you wouldn't be the first person they'd go for if they knew about you? They go for who they think will hurt the most. They find a weak spot and they break it "

" I didn't know " you whispered

" of course you didn't. That's the whole fuckin point. I stop things before you even know they exist. People. You know what they'd do to you if they ever got their hands on you? Is that what you want me to tell you? “

“ Tess- “

“ will that make you fuckin listen to me? Hmm? If I tell you about how they'd hurt you? Kidnap you? You think they’d go easy on you? You’re young. You’re beautiful. Do you need me to tell you how much fun they’d have breaking you? " her voice remained steady. Low. Intimidating. Of course she’d never let anyone do those things, she’d protect you with her life. But if telling you about was what it took to make you stop feeling things. Then she’d do it.

" Tess stop- "

" these aren't nice people. I don't deal with nice fuckin people. You really want to involve yourself in that? In my life? Put yourself at risk like that? "

" you're scaring me stop " you whispered, the message seemingly sinking in.

" good, it should fuckin scare you. So stop asking questions, be a good girl and do as you’re told. Okay? " she held your gaze for a moment before her eyes flickered away, her other hand slipped down around your waist and over your ass, giving a light squeeze. Solidifying the reason she was there, remind you the reason she had turned up at your door. Maybe more to herself than to you at that point" thank you for tonight " then she let you go and headed back for the door again, the moment over " I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart "

To your surprise you followed her out into the hall and she wondered if you were trying to lure her back in again. You always did love arguing with her.

" no. You know don't bother. Seeing as I'm so stressing for you, right? And I’m your weak spot right? Go see if you can find someone else to put up with you like I do " you said in a harsh whisper, not exactly keen on airing your dirty laundry in the hallway for your neighbours to hear apparently. She turned back to you as she headed for the stairs at the end of the hall, and couldn’t help the smirk that found its way onto her face.

You were cute when you were trying to be angry. Telling her to fuck off like you so often did when she made you mad or told you some home truths.

" you're funny " she simply said, knowing it would only wind you up further and made her way down the stairs, leaving you to stew on your anger with her for the night.

She knew you didn’t really mean it. She knew you couldn’t stay angry at her. That no matter what she said to you you would be waiting for her the second she knocked on your door again. And maybe that was wrong. Or toxic.

But it was also keeping you safe.

It was raining as she slipped out of your apartment building. It was barely past 7 and already pitch black outside, the winter rain icy against her skin. But she almost didn’t mind the dark. It meant she could hide better as she slipped through the back alleys, avoiding patrols with ease. She knew every rotation in her area like the back of her hand, and the other areas for that matter. So she made it back to her apartment undetected. Wet and cold. But undetected.

Tess walked into the dark of her apartment with a deflated sigh. Closing the door and tossing the keys onto the kitchen counter before flicking on the lamp, only to startle as she found Joel sitting at the kitchen table.

“ what the fuck Joel! “

“ well good evenin to you too “ she held a hand over her chest, feeling her heart hammering away as she took a deep breath to try slow it down.

“ I’m too tired for you to be sitting around in the dark you fuckin dick “ Joel simply shrugged and she felt his eyes on her as she rummaged around in the kitchen to find a glass, hoping a glass of water would steady her again “ why are you sitting in the dark? In fact why the fuck are you even here? Go home “

“ I had a headache. And I you know that is not a nice thing to say to a guest in your home “

“ guests are invited. They don’t let themselves in and sit in the fuckin dark and damn near give me a heart attack Joel “ she shed her wet jacket and sat down opposite him, noticing a welt on his cheek that hadn’t been there that morning “ the fuck happened to you? “

“ some fucker working for Farris happened to me “ Tess sighed and ran a hand over her face, a headache threatening to pool behind her own temples “ where the fuck were you? “ her fingers itched to go grab the bottle of whiskey she knew was in the cupboard above the sink. It would certainly make this conversation easier. But she resisted, knowing it would only make the headache worse tomorrow morning.

“ I was busy “

“ busy fuckin your little thing on the other side of 4? “ she clenched her jaw at the unsavoury tone he had. She knew what he thought of you. She knew that he just thought you were a distraction. But she also knew he wouldn’t prod too deeply into the harsher thoughts he had, because she had plenty of her own verbal ammo to retaliate with. At least her recreational activities weren’t damaging. Unlike Joel and his Oxy.

“ it doesn’t matter where I was. What matters is Farris is getting too big for his fuckin boots. And we need to be careful. We worked hard to get where we are Joel. I won’t throw away the last 8 years of work because some nobody wants to take over our smuggling lines. Alright? “ Joel raised his hand in some show of surrender, leaning back in the chair that creaked under his weight.

“ so what are we doin about him. Cause if what those fuckers that jumped me tonight said is true, your little doll over the way might be in for one hell of a weekend “ that peaked her interest. Her eyes flying up to meet Joel’s “ now I got your attention huh “

“ don’t fuck around with me Joel. What do you know “ he shrugged and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment.

“ Farris knows we’re the ones that killed the guys that went after her. Some test I guess. Seeing if she really was the way to push your buttons. I guess we proved it to him “

“ fuck “ she cursed under her breath, leaning her elbows onto the table and raking her fingers into her hair “ fuck “ she could feel Joel’s eyes on her, burning into her. She was becoming far too slack when it came to you. She was beginning to let her emotions cloud her judgement. And she couldn’t do that.

For one it was completely pointless to have the emotions in the first place. She was the one that had told you there would be no emotions. No strings. No nothing. Sex. And only sex. Two lonely people getting their required quota of human contact and that was all.

But she knew you had abandoned that. She knew that you weren’t strong enough to control your emotions and it was rubbing off on her. But she had to be stronger. She needed to be. She couldn’t be with you.

For one she was too old. Even the fucking wasn’t exactly the best of plans, she was holding all your attention when you could go out and find someone your own age. Someone a little less fucked up. But she was selfish. And she liked you. And she liked the way you looked at her. And maybe it was cruel to say, but she liked how you always came back. No matter what she said or how much she pushed you away. You always came running back to her again, which is what she always wanted.

She had noticed herself getting a little less… distant. She didn’t really want to push you away even though she knew she should. She wanted you around. She wanted to keep seeing you.

But it looked like that was starting to become impossible.

You didn’t deserve the life she was leading. She did things too dangerous for someone as sheltered as you.

“ well I’ll be damned “ Joel said after a few moments, shaking his head in what seemed to be amusement

“ is something funny? “ he seemed to debate saying what he was thinking. And she knew he wanted to say it. To say she’d caught feelings. Say she was stupid keeping it going this long.

“ you gotta cut that off Tess “ he said in the end, clearly avoiding what he really wanted to say to her “ You’re getting too tangled up in whatever the fuck it is you having going on with her. This isn’t you “

“ I know “ she whispered, resting her head in her hands for a moment “ I know “

She liked to joke and call you naive, but maybe she was the naive one. To think she could go along with someone like you this long and not get attached.

“ this shit with Farris is serious “

“ yeah Joel I fuckin know “ she snapped, sighing again and sitting back in the chair. She gathered her thoughts, pushed you to the back of her mind. And focused on the business at hand “ so here’s what we’re gonna do “

" fuck that's it. Good girl like that " there you were again. On your knees for her as if you hadn't told her to stay away only a week ago. Her fingers were tugging at your hair, guiding your head at a pace she wanted. Once again letting her use you as a way to relieve her stress. Letting her take what she needed and have the control. And you were a sucker for her so you did it every time.

So much you not wanting to see her again. So much for her telling Joel it was over.

In fact that was what she had turned up at your place to talk about. To tell you she couldn’t do it anymore, ready to make up some excuses that she’d found someone else. That she was bored. Any excuse that would hurt you enough to stay away from her for real this time. Ready to lie through her teeth and pretend you meant nothing to her in an attempt to keep you safe.

But you had all but jumped her the second she’d stepped into your apartment, clearly having a stressful day yourself and in the mood to please.

And having your head between her thighs one last time wasn’t something to complain about she supposed. Especially when you were touching her like that.

“ that’s my girl, fuck just like that “ she’d miss that. Miss the way you felt smiling against her, how your fingers felt inside of her, the noises you made.

She’d miss you completely. Not even just the sex. Your eyes. Your smile. Your fearlessness when it came to arguing with her, shouting back without a care.

But it was for your own good. And maybe her own too.

She didn’t last much longer, coming on your fingers with a choked moan and tugging probably painfully at your hair before going slack.

" that's really not why I came to see you you know " she said with a small laugh, pulling her jeans back on and pushing her hair from her damp forehead as the blissful feeling left her as quickly as it had arrived.

" could've fooled me " you cracked a smile as you said it and rose to your feet.

She’d really miss you smiling at her like that. Miss the way your eyes practically sparkled anytime you looked at her, clearly such strong admiration and affection that she almost expected to see cartoon hearts floating around your head.

" I'm serious " you sat beside her and she noticed the way you pressed yourself into her side. And she couldn’t help the way her arm fell across your shoulders, holding you there. Allowing herself that small thing before she pushed you out of her life completely " I just wanted to check on you. Especially after your pissy fuckin mood the other day "

" thank you " she shrugged and you were both quiet for a few minutes " are you in danger? Am I? " you asked quietly, looking up at her with those big sad eyes. She refused to hold your gaze.

" what? "

" what you're doing? Is it dangerous? The people who made you worried so you came to check on me, are they dangerous? " You kind of knew the answer already she was sure of it. She was a smuggler. It wasn’t exactly the safest job in the world right now. You knew she was dangerous and she dealt with dangerous people. She did dangerous things. But you clearly wanted to hear her say it to you. Maybe so you could justify the constant worrying you always did for her. The worrying she always told you not to do.

But it was okay. You wouldn’t worry for her after today.

" I’m handling it "

" and if you can’t "

" i can "

" but if you can’t " you pressed

" why are you so Interested? " she asked with a slight sigh, silently hoping she could’ve gotten a few more minutes of peace with you before the argument began “ you think I cant handle myself? “

" I worry about you " as much as you said it it still made her heart ache each time. Not many people cared about her. In fact she was certain it was just you and Joel. It was almost alien now " I always worry. I’ve seen you kill people like it was nothing and I wasn’t afraid, I was concerned you’d hurt yourself. You deal with FEDRA officers Tess. Any one of them could decide one day they’re bored and turn you in. I don’t wanna wake up one day and see your name on the roster for the public fucking hangings " you rambled it all out in practically one breath.

She didn't respond straight away. Simply kept watching you as the words continued to tumble from your mouth before you bothered to stop them. Not sure what she was supposed to say. She wished she could be like you. So willing to express yourself and so open with your emotions.

But this situation with Farris was big. And she couldn’t risk it. She had to stay on track.

" you shouldn't worry so much " you almost seemed like you wanted to laugh. She broke your eye contact, staring at the black screen of the long broken tv instead " I can take care of myself "

" I know you can... it doesn't mean I won't worry. And before you say anything I don't want to hear that stupid no strings conversation again " You turned her face to look at you, hand on her cheek. So tender with her. So gentle. No one touched her tenderly anymore. No one showed her care.

" Tess... " your voice was a whisper, trailing off as words seemed to fail you at the closeness of her face to yours. Her nose brushed against yours and she so desperately wanted to kiss you. She debated it for a moment, wondering if it would be so bad. She was still going to leave you. She was still going to break your heart, so what did it matter anyway?

But she feared that as soon as she did so nothing she could say would push you back. You would never let her go after you got the affection you had begged her for for so long. She couldn’t take the risk.

" don't " her voice stopped you before your lips could touch, low and almost warning, as her hand wrapped around your wrist.

" please " it sounded weak. Pathetic almost. It made her chest tighten. You were so desperate for love. For love from her. And she couldn’t give it to you.

" we can't. Not now. We can't " not now was probably a poor choice. It would insight hope. A half promise that the present wasn’t going to work. But maybe the future would.

" why? " she pulled away from you and got to her feet. Running away. Again. She had to. She had to get out of there before she broke completely.

" don't do this again for the love of god don’t give me this fuckin conversation again "

" why can't you just answer me? Honestly. Just tell me why you won't even kiss me for fuck sakes. Why won't you open up to me? Why do you keep pretending you care about me only to kick me to the curb again? "

" do you think I'd be here if I didn't fucking care? " her voice was rising and you knew you'd just fallen into the same routine of trying to talk and ending up in a fight. But maybe that was okay. That would help. Would make ripping the bandaid a little easier

" then stop pushing me away! The no strings thing? It’s bullshit! It’s. Bullshit. You think I could be like this with you for this long and not feel something? And I know you feel something too you’re just too fucking stubborn. And I’m tired of pretending I’m not in l- "

" don't. Don't you say it " she turned to you, finger pointing at you in warning. Brow furrowed as it always was " don't. Say it. You say it and I'm gone. I'm gone and I won’t come back " she couldn’t hear you say that word. She knew you were in love. Of course she did. But you’d never said it. And that would be too much for her. That would hurt beyond relief.

It would hurt you even more.

You held her gaze for a moment. Debating it. But you looked so tired. You were done clearly. Done listening to her. Done being pushed around.

" I love you " you said with a shrug, tears pooling at your eyes as you breathed it out despite her warnings, like it couldn't be contained any longer. It wasn't fair " maybe that makes me an idiot. But I do. And I won't pretend I don't anymore " tears fell down your cheeks then and she fought to keep her composure. To remain stony faced and cold.

Rip the bandaid Tess.

" you can't. You don't understand. Loving me is... I can't. You can't " she felt more flustered than angry, as if she'd received some detrimental information that was world ending. Her hand raking through her hair. She wanted to walk over, hold your face and wipe your tears. Tell you that yes you were so unbelievably stupid for loving her but she loved you too. She couldn’t “ i have to go “

" of course you do " you didn't follow her as she grabbed her jacket and headed for your front door

" You won't see me again. I'll make sure Joel keeps an eye on you. I’ll make sure you’re safe but. This is it. You won't see me again like this. Whatever this is… it’s done " she hesitated for a moment looking back at your sagged, crying form. It was pity she felt the most. She pitied you. You who had just told her you were in love with her. That you cared.

She wished she could tell you the truth. Tell you how she felt. But she couldn’t.

Rip it.

“ that’s. That’s the whole reason I came here anyway. Me and you it’s- look it’s done okay. I don’t wanna do this with your anymore alright? You don’t listen. All these emotions… we said no strings. And you didn’t listen. We’re done here “

" well good. I don't want to see you again anyway, don't ever come back here. Go find someone else to fuck! I don't want to hear from you again "

She didn't respond. Simply clenched her jaw and gave a short nod of her head.

It had been ripped.

It was done.

You despised her.

She left your building in a hurry, like the air inside was too confining and her chest felt too tight. Outside she took a breath, leaning back against the brick and closing her eyes for a moment.

“ fuck “ she didn’t know how she felt. Angry. Upset. Both “ fuck! “ she dropped her head into her hands for a moment, trying to steady her breathing before raking her hands through her hair and trying to compose herself.

She had important things to do. She had to find Farris and make this entire thing worth it. She braced her hands on her knees, taking a moment. And then she stood up and she left. She had to find him.

Tess didn't exactly recall how she'd ended up in front of your building. Brief flickers in her mind of her and Joel finally tracking down the bastard that had been threatening you, the almost blackout anger that was clouding the memories. Blood. And guns. And knives. the hammering rain against her skin. But she couldn't recall the entire journey properly, or the events of the warehouse in area 4. Just that she was now there. Rain dripping into her eyes, entire body aching now that her adrenaline had worn off. Some muttered excuse to Joel to take their stolen goods back home and that she needed to make sure you were okay.

She was convinced she’d taken a knife to the shoulder at some point, a dull ache growing stronger by the second.

But Farris was dead. And that was all that mattered. He was dead. He wouldn’t bother her anymore. Or you. You were safe.

She knew they were dead. That was a certain thing. They had made him suffer. Did the things she tried so desperately to keep away from you. But it was worth it. But other things she couldn’t quite recall, couldn’t quite separate the real from the make believe.

She just knew she had to see you. After all she’d done. But you still hated her. She knew that.

So she didn’t know why she was there. Or why she found her feet carrying her up to your apartment door. Staring at the metal 342 that had faded and tarnished over the the years.

You wouldn’t see her she was certain. You’d slam the door in her face and tell her to get fucked.

But she knocked anyway.

She wanted to explain. Explain how she had had to push you away. Be cruel. Because she felt so unbelievably undeserving of love, especially from someone as incredible as you. Because she felt you deserved better. Someone younger. Someone who didn’t do illegal shit every single day. Someone who could keep you safe.

But also… she just needed to be around you. To be in your company. To talk to someone other than Joel. He wouldn’t understand. But you would.

She knocked again. Before she could change her mind and turn around. There was some shuffling around inside your apartment, the sound of the key in the lock.

You opened the door only a crack, the security chain in front of your face. She almost smiled just at that. You'd listened to her and her worries for your safety. Your eyes fell on her and she waited for you to slam it back in her face, or tell her to fuck off and leave you alone. But you said nothing. You didn't even look that shocked to see her.

" I didn't know where else to go " her voice sounded far weaker than she'd been expecting, and as though she'd had to force the words out of her throat. She waited for the door slam. Or that bitter laugh you gave her whenever she'd pissed you off or said something stupid that had upset you.

But instead you closed the door softly, the sound of the security chain dropping and then re opened the door. You looked her up and down before reaching out your hand and gently leading her inside.

She must have looked a sight. Soaked from the rain and sporting a black eye. And a possible stab wound. But you didn’t comment on it.

She stood a little awkwardly as you re locked the door. Not knowing what to say at all

“ shit you’re bleeding “ you said softly, coming up behind her and placing a hand to her aching shoulder “ sit down. You’re making a damn puddle “

She sat at the table and shed her button up, your hand gentle as you pushed her tank strap out of the way and examined the wound

“ knife “ she said before you asked her, hissing through her teeth as you pressed at the tender skin.

“ stay here “ she watched you go into the bathroom, the sound of cupboards opening and closing for a few moments. She almost wanted to cry. Or scream. It wasn’t natural how nice of a person you were. How no matter how much she pushed you around you still helped her.

She didn’t deserve your help. Or your care. And yet you were giving it to her so freely.

“ I’m sorry “ she said when you resurfaced, hands full of stuff to clean her up.

“ yeah. I know “ you said quietly, dabbing at her wound a little harsher than probably necessary. But she deserved that

“ I can explain “

“ you don’t have to “

“ I need to “

“ I know. You do. You have a lot of shit to explain to me. But… not now Tess. I don’t know where you’ve been or what you’ve done. But you’re in no state to talk tonight. It’s okay. I can wait “ there was no malice in your words, no anger. She was taken aback by it.

She didn’t deserve you. She didn’t.

“ I don’t deserve you “ you gave a small laugh behind her and she glanced up at you as you picked up a needle and thread from the table.

“ you’re right. You don’t. But I’ve been known to have exceptionally bad taste in women “ she closed her eyes as you stitched her up in silence. And for once she felt like a weight was shifting off her shoulders.

She felt safe there. Protected. Cared for. Like all her emotions of the day, the last few months in fact, came rushing forward.

“ I didn’t mean what I said “ you sighed again behind her but didn’t berate her for trying to talk again “ I had to it- I did it because- fuck “ her brain refused to string a sentence together, still cloudy and frazzled from days of hunting Farris down. From the fight that had ended it all. From the lack of sleep.

Maybe she was hallucinating the entire thing. But the dull pain of the needle threading through her skin reminded her she couldn’t be.

“ you’re not yourself “ you said softly tying off the the thread and placing a gentle hand to her shoulder as you rounded her “ look at me “

You held her face in your hands, holding her head up so she had no choice but to look at you. She could almost see the cogs whirring away inside your head, trying to read her expression. But Tess was a notoriously hard nut to crack. Able to read a room in a second but impossible to read herself “ look. Tess. I’m serious. You don’t need to explain tonight. You can take your time. It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend to be something in here. It’s just me “

She closed her eyes and let out a deflated sigh. Maybe she shouldn’t have visited you tonight. Maybe she should’ve gathered her thoughts and tried in the morning when her brain would actually allow her to string together a coherent sentence.

“ I’m sorry “

“ I know you are “ her own hands came up to cover yours, looking at your eyes that were swimming with sympathy. Pity. From anyone else she would’ve hated it. But from you it made her chest tighten.

“ I don’t deserve you “ she repeated in a whisper “ I don’t. All that I’ve done to you all that I’ve said- “

“ shh. Not tonight. You can do your explaining. And your grovelling. In the morning. And before you protest you’re staying here tonight. Send you out like this fuckin FEDRA will capture your ass before you even reach the end of the street “

She did want to protest, she’d never stayed overnight. But she didn’t have the energy. Or the heart.

“ I’ll go find you some clothes yeah? “ you let her go and turned to walk away but she stood up and grabbed at your arm. You tilted your head to the side, a flash of confusion on your face “ everything okay? “

“ I will explain. Tomorrow I mean. I’ll explain everything. And I’ll grovel. I’ll do whatever the fuck you want me to until you believe that I’m sorry “ she took a step to close the distance between you both, cupping your face in her hands “ I was scared “

“ you’re not scared of anything are you? “ you said quietly with a smile on your face. There was a lot she was scared of. And most of those things boiled down to you. She was terrified of anyone hurting you. Terrified of losing you. Terrified of the way that you made her feel.

But she couldn’t find the words to tell you that. Not tonight.

So she showed you instead.

She leaned in slowly, giving you every chance to push her back and tell her not to. She wouldn’t blame you for it. But you didn’t. She kissed you in a way that could only be described as tender. Barely even touching her lips to yours at first, still waiting for you to shove your hands against her chest and tell her to get out.

But you didn’t. You stepped closer, you warm hands sliding over her bare arms and up to twist your fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck. So she placed a hand to your back, pulling you in as close as she could, pressing your warm body to her cold and damp one. It made you shiver and she wondered if it was from her rain soaked shirt touching you or because of the kiss.

She hoped for the latter.

She kissed you in a way she had never kissed anyone else. Slowly, passionately. Expressing every single word of affection she had kept from you into every press of her lips to yours.

she didn’t know how long it had been, just that you seemingly had no intentions of breaking away and she wasn’t about to either. So you kissed until her lungs began to protest, reluctantly detaching her lips from yours but not moving more than an inch or two away.

She’d lied to herself before she thought. That this was actually when you looked the prettiest.

“ I think that was a pretty good apology “ you whispered, your breath fanning onto her lips in a way that made her shiver “ you still have to grovel “

“ I’m aware sweetheart. I’m aware “

#tess servopoulos x reader #the last of us #tess servopoulos #tlou #tlou hbo #tlou Tess #the last of us fanfiction #Joel miller #x you #angst #fluff #smut #Anna torv

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