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#literally listening to it on repeat what about it
hannahssimblr · 2 days
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She’s got her nose in a magazine. This is how she entertains herself these days, magazines. She rolls out of bed in the morning and goes down to the local newsagents to scour the racks, brings something back and reads it out the back on the outdoor furniture with a cup of strong coffee, the sun cooking pale shoulders. 
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I’m with her today, lounging in the chair adjacent with my neck thrown back, squinting at the clouds that drift by in the sky.
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“Horoscopes,” she announces, flipping to the back page. I just listen. 
“First week of July for Scorpio. ‘Looks like you’re gearing up for another week of being a grumpy, miserable bastard. Wow, cheer up, oh my god. You’re pissing everyone off with your moods, like, just go for a run or something, I don’t fucking know.’” she pretends to be shocked, “wow, brutal today, isn’t it?”
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My laugh is lifeless, “Mmph. Hilarious.”
“Wait, there’s more: ‘literally, sitting around the house and being sad is not helping. You’re not going to get back with your ex girlfriend. (A Leo: incompatible) Why don’t you try getting over someone by getting under someone else, since as a Scorpio, your whole personality is how consistently and voraciously horny you are.’ Wow.”
“What are you saying?”
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“I’m not saying it, the horoscope is.”
I eye her suspiciously, “You think I should find a new girlfriend?”
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Not necessarily,” she tosses the magazine onto the table in front of us, “That girl Claire was pretty, wasn’t she? What if you just talked to her?”
“Claire? Oh. No. She’s not my type.”
“Yes she is.”
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“I’m not interested,” and, equally, has Jen been looking around? I’m not the one who wants to be under Claire O’Reilly. The last thing I want to have this summer is a repeat of the Clóda situation, to be driven over by Shane's Fiat Punto now that he has his licence. I’m not hooking up with anyone this summer. In fact, maybe I'll just never have sex again, because obviously it’s destructive not worth it. 
Please. Yes you will. A voice in my head sneers, Don’t lie to yourself, you like it too much. The voice in my head is inarguably correct. But still, it won’t happen this summer. I’ll be like a celebate monk. I’ll take a vow not to look at boobs in secret, even. 
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“Well maybe you’ll change your mind tonight.”
“What’s tonight?”
“I invited her to a barbeque. Her and Kelly and the other friend.”
“Oh right. I’m not coming.”
“Jude!” she cries, “what’s wrong with you? Why not?”
“Because you’re going to want me to talk to Claire, and if I do then you’re going to be watching me and making faces, and then you’re going to want to discuss it all with me later and I’m just not bothered. I’ve told you I’m not interested.”
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She heaves out an impatient sigh, “there’s nothing wrong with talking to girls. Michelle won’t find out.”
“I didn’t even say this was about her.”
“Well,” she shrugs, “it’s good for you both to try and move on. I’d give her the same advice.”
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My spine stiffens, “has she been seeing someone?”
“What? No. And if she was I wouldn’t tell you, just like I won’t tell her about you and Claire.”
“I can’t believe you’re encouraging this.”
“What? Conversation?”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Oh just come. You’ll freak everyone out if you’re sitting in your room all night. They'll think you're a weirdo.”
“Fine, I’ll think about it.”
“Good.”
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I snatch the magazine from the table and flip through to the last page, “Let’s see what bullshit is in store for you this week, huh? Pisces… ‘It’s time to stop controlling everyone's life’ oh, yikes! Look at that! ‘Mind your own business for once, it makes you seem crazy and obsessed.’”
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“God sake,” she rolls her eyes and makes a swipe for the magazine, but I bop her in the side of the head with it before she can. She growls in frustration and I laugh, holding it at arms length as she scrambles over the seat. 
“If murder was legal I’d have killed you already,” she says. 
“Boo hoo. Too bad for you, Jenny.”
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anarchy-and-piglins · 19 hours
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How about a Mafia Peerpressure AU?
Techno is a high school student. He tutors middle schoolers as part-time job to save up money for college. He totally expects to get scholarships and stuff, but places don't really DO full rides anymore. In modern day now times, full rides don't really exist. So, yeah, he tutors middle schoolers for money.
His favorite student is Ranboo. Obviously, because his Moms pay the best. And they have the nicest house. And the best snacks. Like, really, other kids his age are breaking their backs serving burgers to stuck up Karens while Techno is chilling teaching a quiet kid about area and perimeter formulas. He wins.
And maaaaayybe Ranboo is pretty cool, too. He certainly doesn't try to bite like Phil's younger brother Tommy. If Phil wasn’t his best friend, he would drown that jerk in the school pool for laughing at him when Tommy LITERALLY bit his ankles. Ranboo's also better than that kid Tubbo because it was SOOOOO obvious that kid already knew everything and just thought it was hilarious to pretend he didn't. Techno saw the calculus book in the kid's room. He wasn't fooled.
Ranboo was smart, too. He was just a little shy and unconfident. Anxious with a issues with forgetting assignments and homework. His mind tended to wander in class and only zoned back in when the teacher repeated the question for the third time.
Technoblade TOTALLY didn't see himself in Ranboo. Nope. No way. The fact that Technoblade's self-made strategies helped the kid out was complete coincidence. Yep.
Ranboo was also HILARIOUS. Once the kid realized Technoblade wasn't going to roll his eyes whenever Ranboo accidentally left his homework at school, the kid brightened up alot. The sarcasm matched Technoblade's humor well. They have a lot of the same interests, too!
Honestly, Techno wondered if this was what it was like to have a little brother. Techno had always assumed a younger sibling would result in a kid like...Tommy.
Eventually, there is some event that has the Middle Schoolers come up to the High School for the day. Maybe a sport event, maybe a Mentor Day. However, Techno just sort of sees Ranboo around in the periphery.
Until lunch.
Of COURSE Tommy would find some way to weasel away from his group to eat lunch with his Brother. Phil doesn't seem too bothered (or surprised) by his little brother squeezing onto the bench at lunch.
However, Tommy didn't JUST bring himself. Oh no, he had to bring the rest of his trio with him. All three of them squeezing to try and fit on the bench.
Ranboo apologizes when his elbow digs into Techno's side. Techno assures him its fine.
Or it was fine until the men with guns come in.
Instant chaos. Kids start running before the men with guns even say anything. Phil yeets Tommy out of the bench before grabbing Tubbo's arm and sprinting. Techno throws a frozen Ranboo over his shoulder and follows. The men with guns fire into the ceiling, shouting orders at the kids who haven't run yet.
Technoblade's group don't hear it. They are already out the door and GONE.
They aren't the only ones. Techno definitely passes Niki and Jack. Quackity and Charlie carried Fundy and Purpled (well, Charlie was carrying them) and were running toward the front parking lot. Technoblade's group turn a corner and MORE MEN WITH GUNS.
They just barely get away from them, but Ranboo and Techno get separated from the others.
Ranboo is freaking out, saying that he HAS to call his Moms. He NEEDS to call them. Technoblade tries to say they NEED to call the police, but Ranboo is insistent.
Technoblade finds a place for them to hide under a stairwell and Ranboo immediately wips out his phone and calls his Moms. Techno keeps a lookout, listening for ANYONE who gets close. He doesn't even register Ranboos whispered conversation.
Ranboo tugs on Techno’s sleeve and hands the phone to him.
Techno has never heard Ranboo's Mom be so...serious. She is usually so warm, but she is downright FRIGID. She tells Technoblade to try and make their way to the gymnasium, which is on the complete opposite side of the building. They have to do it while staying out of sight of the cameras. Techno tries to ask for an explanation, but he keeps getting cut off by her clipped tone.
Eventually, the line goes dead and Technoblade has nothing else to do but obey.
Cue desperate attempt to get through the school. Climbing up into the drop ceiling and army crawling across classrooms held at gunpoint. Lock picking the door that leads to the roof so they can carefully make it to the fire escape on the otherside.
At one point, Techno gets in a tussle with a solitary gunman, tries to wrestle to get the gun away from him without the guy calling for help. The guy manages to shoot Techno in the arm, but he doesn't give up. In the tussle, Ranboo kicks a fireman's axe toward Technoblade.
Technoblade doesn't even hesitate to bury it in the guy's neck. Though, afterwards, he quietly had a panic attack over what he just did.
He can't act scared, though. That will just freak Ranboo out more than the kid was already freaking out. Honestly, he should have grabbed a paper bag earlier to help with the hyperventalating kid.
Technoblade is still bleeding from the gunshot that hit is bicep. But they don't have time to fix it because the scuffle was DEFINITELY heard.
Techno grabs Ranboo's wrist and sprint toward the gym. They are so close. He ignores the shouts after them as he bursts throught the door into the gymnasium. There is no one in there and they HAVE TO HIDE.
The locker rooms? No, they will check that immediately. Under the bleachers? They'll be spotted. Technoblade spots the climbing rope. He tells Ranboo to wrap his arms around Techno's neck and Technoblade starts to climb.
Never had Techno been more grateful that he was incredibly competitive. He and Phil had been trying to one up each other with the dumb rope, seeing who could get the top first. Phil HAD to be part bird with the way he seemed to FLY up the dang thing. But Techno was still quick.
The freely bleeding arm wound and the clinging child didn't even phase him. He was sure that he broke his own record with how fast he pulled himself up it.
Carefully, he pulled Ranboo and himself up onto the giant metal ceiling frame. Techno just barely ducks behind a piece of the frame, tucking Ranboo to his chest, as the gunmen sprint inside.
Techno covers his mouth to hide his gasping breathe as the gunmen scour the room, speaking into radios at their hips. Frustration bleeding into their expressions.
Then, a man dressed in Green walks in the room.
He doesn't have a gun, but he still feels dangerous even with the relaxed posture. Techno pulls Ranboo a little closer as the man speaks to the gunmen, hands in his pockets as his eyes glance around.
And then glances up.
And smiles.
No matter how nicely his asks for them to come down, Technoblade can still see the guns aimed upwards.
Man in Green wants him to come down and give him the kid? What kid? There is no kid here. He must be seeing things. And coming down isn't an option. He is in the middle of his Climbing Exam and they aren't supposed to cover "climbing down" until after the midterm-
Warning shots. Techno pretends that his heart isn't trying to beat of his chest. Tries to pretend that Ranboo isn't shaking curled up against him. Tries to act cool and unbothered as the man in green gives him One More Chance to come down before they open fire-
The gym doors slam open. The gunmen turn, weapons swinging behind them.
Gunfire echoes in the room, loud and booming and painful and Techno buries his face into Ranboo's hair, squeezing his eyes closed tight until the sound starts to fade.
He doesn't look up. But then, he hears a familiar voice.
Ranboo shoots up at the sound of his Mom's voice leaning over the beam to see his Mom standing dressed in body armor, men in black and purple suits fanning out among the lifeless forms of the gunmen before.
Technoblade almost doesn't let Ranboo go as the kid scoots to try and climb down the rope, eyes teary as the gangly kid awkwardly slides down.
Hesitantly, Technoblade follows.
As soon as Technoblade's feet touch the mat, he passes the fuck out. Stress and Bloodloss will do that to you.
Techno wakes up in a private hospital room, Ranboo fiddling with his fingers sitting next to him. When Techno wakes up, Ranboo looks relieved but nervous. Technoblade asks for an explanation and hesitantly, Ranboo talks.
His Mom's ran Ender, a criminal empire. One of their competitors had tried to kidnap Ranboo during the event at the high school because it was more unfamiliar to his security team. As soon a his Moms found out, they immediately rallied to get the school as soon as they could.
Techno asks if he had just joined the Mob by mistake, because he REALLY wasn't about. Ranboo hurries to say no, you aren't in the mafia. Not unless you want to be. But Ranboo's Moms WOULD like to pay Techno extra the next time Techno tutors.
Techno also asks if Ranboo is going to be the next head of The Ender and Ranboo laughs about that because DEFINITELY not. His older sister who goes to OSMP University is going to be the next leader. Definitely not him.
All that settled, Technoblade is definitely not going to complain about how hectic Tommy tutoring is EVER again.
Techno saying no to the mob thing initially but being sliiiightly coerced into being paid extra to be Ranboo's unofficial bodyguard, perhaps? As a treat?
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The Twin Flame - Epilogue: "The Great War"
"My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War. Always remember, we're burned for better. I vowed I would always be yours, because we survived the Great War..."
Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes The Twin Flame Chapter List | The Grumpy x Sunshine Universe
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"You can do this. It's fine. You're being silly."
He forces himself to take another deep breath. Anticipation thrums in his veins. It rolls off of him, he almost feels sorry for the poor person he sat next to on the plane.
He's practically shaking with excitement - and has been since he left his apartment back in New York. He can't really remember the last time he felt this excited. 
The freshness of the Louisiana air fills his lungs as he drives with the windows down. Back to you. Back to you for the first time in months.
That's what the feeling is, he realizes.
It's the feeling of coming home. 
You're right about the sky. It is really blue. 
By the time he pulls up to Sarah's home, Bucky can hardly sit still. He hardly has the state of mind to remember to grab his store bought cake from the passenger seat of his rental car. 
"Hey!" A familiar voice greets him. Bucky turns away from the car to see Sam's familiar grin beckoning over to him. "You made it!"
"Of course," Bucky breezily replies, the grocery store cake in his hand making it slightly easier to hide his fidgety hands. He tries not to crane his neck around Sam. He tries not to be rude and focus on what Sam's telling him.
In this moment, it's impossible for him. He can feel that inexplicable pull all over again. The ache in his chest slowly subsiding with every step closer to you. 
It's almost funny to him. The disciplined solider, the highly trained assassin, the notoriously stoic Bucky Barnes, can hardly keep the giddiness of his face. He can hardly pay attention to his friend.
As Sam talks with his beaming grin and animated gestures, Bucky is sure he's at least faking it well, that Sam has no idea there's only one person Bucky is looking for at this moment. 
It's clear that Bucky failed when Sam starts waving his hand in his face. "Um, Bucky?"
Bucky's head snaps back toward Sam. "Huh?"
Sam quirks a brow at Bucky, an unimpressed purse tugging at his lips, "I asked how's it going in New York."
"Oh," Bucky sheepishly exhales with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "It's fine. Same old, same old."
"You are literally not paying attention to a word I'm saying."
"Of course, I am," Bucky promises, once again, craning his neck to look around Sam. "I always listen to what you're saying."
"I think you should shave your head."
Bucky nods, still looking around the party. Still no sign of you. "Good idea."
"And can I have your arm?"
"Mhm..." Bucky hums, his eyes flickering to the house to see if there's any sign of you. "Sure, no problem."
"Stop it," Sarah scoffs, swatting Sam's shoulder. 
Bucky takes a momentary break of searching for you, offering a gentle smile to Sarah. "Oh, hey, Sarah, how are you?"
"Good. Keeping busy."
"This is a great turnout. You should be proud of yourselves." He extends the store bought cake he brought to the party, "I almost forgot, I brought this for you guys."
Sam narrows his eyes, "Who are you and what have you done with Bucky?"
"Thanks, Bucky." Sarah nudges her head towards her house. "Hey, would you mind putting this in the kitchen? I wouldn't want it to melt."
"I got -" Sam begins to offer. 
"Bucky," Sarah pointedly repeats, nudging her head toward the house again. 
"Oh, yeah, sure!" Bucky blurts, still only half catching on to Sarah's innuendo. "I'll just - I'll be right back."
Sarah smiles widely. "Great. Thank you." 
He stumbles towards the house before Sam can object again.
And the moment he starts towards that house, he can feel it. He swears he can. He can feel himself being pulled towards the house. Each step makes the ache lessen and lessen. Each step feels like his rib cage is expanding and allowing him his first real breath in months. 
He looks at the roof, the night spent holding you in his arms. The flowers that create a gentle waft through the warm summer breeze. Everything feels brighter. Like for the first time, he sees all the hope the world has to offer.
There is no thought to it. His feet carry him up the steps, past the living room, past the dining room, straight to you.
You sigh as you hear the screen door slam shut and footsteps approaching the kitchen.
"Sam, for the last time, the cake will be ready when -" Your words stop dead in their tracks when you turn away from the counter to see who waits in the doorway. Those blue eyes that kept you staring at the sky day in and out. "James..."
A breath lodges in his throat as he takes in the sight of you for the first time in months. The cuts and scrapes, the knuckles bruised like violets, were all but gone. Still, he knew better than most that some scars would never heal.
And yet, you're here. Standing before him. Standing tall. With a smile that could light up this whole town. "Hi."
"Hi." 
"Hi."
You chuckle, "You said that already."
"Right," he giggles. He couldn't believe he'd just giggled. He couldn't remember the last time he laughed, let alone giggled like an unburdened spirit. His hand anxiously rubs the back of his neck, "Hi - I mean - it's good to see you. Sorry, I just - I thought about this moment so damn much and I thought I knew what I was gonna say but - It's just - God, I missed you."
Your grin grows even wider. "I missed you too, so, so much."
"How have you - "
You don't wait for him to finish his question. You rush forward, pulling him down towards you. Your lips meet his in pure desperation, you need this like you need to breathe. Your fingers twist around the hair at the nape of his neck as his find your waist. He pulls you flush against him, his fingertips digging into your hips.
Despite how desperate and frenzied the kiss is, there's a sense of relief, of calm, of peace that accompanies it. It feels like you can breathe, a full deep breath after months of treading water.
After months of rebuilding, you've finally found your way back home.
"What a great way of telling me to shut up," Bucky chuckles against your lips. "You should do it again."
"Hold that thought," you sigh against Bucky's mouth.
Bucky quirks an eyebrow at you. "What?"
"AJ, Cass, Get out here..." You look over Bucky's shoulder to just beyond the doorway. "What are you guys doing?"
Sure enough, the two boys appear, meekly shuffling into the kitchen. "Nothing..."
"You're doing nothing? Really?"
"Uh..." Cass stutters out. 
You lower yourself to each of the boys, your eyes playfully flickering between the two of them, "So who's gonna tell me what you two are up to?"
"Uncle Sam said he'd give us twenty bucks if we came to bother you," Cass blurts.
"He told us not to tell them!" AJ scolds his brother. 
"Oh," you smirk, crossing your arms over your chest. "Did he?"
The boys both look down at their shoes with an apologetic, pouting expression. "We're sorry."
"Oh no, don't be sorry," you assure them. "Did he give you guys 20 dollars each?"
The boys shake their heads. "No."
"How about this? I'll give you guys 20 dollars each if you tell Sam that you saw Bucky going upstairs."
"Each?" they marvel.
"Each."
"Why'd you do that?" Bucky asks as the two boys scurry off to find Sam.
"You'll see."
Sam runs in only moments later, skidding to a halt when he sees you and Bucky standing in the kitchen. "Oh... hey, guys. What's up?"
You cross your arms over you chest, your lips pursing in distaste. "Nothing, just had an interesting conversation with AJ and Cass."
"Oh, okay," Sam excessively nods, feigning innocence.
"Sending children to spy on us," you admonish, tsking once. "That's low."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sam lies, defiantly lifting his chin.
"They sold you out, Sam."
Sam's mouth gapes slightly. "For how much?"
"20 bucks each."
"Damn it," Sam hisses. "You know, I used to be able to bribe the both of them with a 5."
You point to the front door. "Get out."
Sam narrows his eyes, flicking two fingers between his gaze and Bucky's. "Fine... but I'm watching you."
"You know, I'm starting to get why you don't like Sam," you joke.
Bucky groans in relief, resting a hand on your waist. "It's about time."
You pat his chest once, your hand sliding down his arm to his hand. You lace your fingers with his and jut your chin in toward the back door. "Come on, let's go out back. I wanna show you something."
 "What do you wanna show me?"
"You'll see," you coyly reply.
You lead him out the back door, following a path of carefully paved stone lined with wildflowers of all kinds. The smell of the flowers waft through the summer breeze once more. And just like before, the day seems brighter with you by his side.
As the path comes to an end, it splays out into an open circular garden brimming with vibrant colors, brimming with life.
In the very center, a willow tree with full, cascading leaves, standing tall surrounded by the most striking flowers he's ever seen.
You'd spent months working on it. A way to forgive. A way to say goodbye. A way to honor those fallen. And then finally, a way to move forward carrying the love and grief of your found family. "They're-"
"Poppies," Bucky finishes for you. The most strikingly red poppies he'd ever seen. The flower of remembrance, if Bucky remembers correctly. 
He wasn't sure if it was the sun or simply the high of being so close to you after so long, but they almost looked like they were glowing in the afternoon light.
His breath catches in his throat. The stones beneath his feet merge into a singular path. Still holding his hand, you guide him around the garden.
While he wasn't by any stretch of the imagination a flower person, he was struck by the vivid blues of the small path of flowers at the very end of the path.
The same color of that bright blue afternoon sky. The sky that reminded you of your twin flame. No matter how far apart, no matter how much time passed, he'd always be there. As unwavering, as bright eyed as the vast blue sky. "Those are forget me nots."
"It's beautiful," he whispers.
"It's a memory garden."
"You did all this?"
"Well, Sam helped with the stones and that little table over there, but I - I wanted to do it alone. I wanted to mourn them. I even picked different flowers for all them."
"You took the bad and turned it into something good."
It felt like a lifetime ago that you said those words to him. Your silent vow to your caretaker - that you would leave the world better than you entered it, that you would take the bad and turn it into something good.
It was the same vow you made to each and every member of your family, whether they were gone or simply lost, that you would turn the ache of grief into something good.
"You remember that?"
"Of course I did. I remember everything about you."
The words leave his lips so casually, like there is no other choice, all roads lead back to you. 
You find yourself momentarily at a loss for words, struck by Bucky's words. He really did remember. Those little, fleeting, stolen moments really meant as much to him as it did to you.
"We can sit here," you manage to rasp out, gesturing to the wooden picnic table at the end of the cobblestone path. "It'll be at least a few minutes before Sam finds us out here."
His hand rests on the center of the picnic table as he takes a seat across from you. "So?"
Your hand slides towards his, but you don't hold his hand. You stroke his fingers, circling and toying with his middle finger until you move onto the next finger. It's your habit, Bucky knows from seeing you twiddle and twist your fingers for years, but instead of reaching for your hand, you reach for his. You use him to ground yourself.
You smile up at him with a small shrug of your shoulders, "So?"
"I guess I'm a little curious," Bucky wonders. Sure, you hadn't completely lost touch with Bucky in these months, but you both gave each other the space to work things out. "Things seem like they're really working out."
"I'm hopeful."
"Me too." He can't remember the last time he said that word: hopeful. He doesn't remember the last time he truly, genuinely felt that either. Sitting here, with you, basking in the sun, that's exactly the feeling that swells in his ribcage. Hope. Hope with more on the horizon.
"Yeah... that lawyer, Matt, is great. He really helped us out. I know it's not over yet, but I think we're finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They called me to testify in front of the Senate next week."
His shoulders tense as he hears the words leave your mouth in such a casual tone. "Wait, what?"
"Matt thinks it'll work in our favor," you explain. "He says it's no good hiding anymore. That - that people think I'm a hero, that they'll take my side."
Bucky's eyebrows furrow, his jaw squaring as he takes it all in. "You're putting a lot of trust into this guy, aren't you?"
"Sounds like someone is a little jealous," Sam sarcastically mutters from behind Bucky.
"Guess he found us again," Bucky grumbles. 
You reach across the table to grab Bucky's hand. "Don't be jealous. Matt's a good guy, but I won't lie, there was something a little off about him."
Bucky's eyebrows pull in. "Like what?"
You shrug. "I don't know."
"Maybe it's the fact that he's a blind vigilante that wanders around Hell's Kitchen on his off time," Sam deadpans, taking a seat beside you.
"No..." You shake your head, your mouth twisting as you try to place what exactly you found so strange about Matt Murdock. "I don't think that was it. I think it was his friend. He was nice, but what kind of name is Foggy?"
"What kind of name is Bucky?" Sam counters.
"I like his name, thank you very much," you retort.
Bucky can barely appreciate your defense of name as he tries to process everything that you and Sam have just thrown at him. "So you're telling me that you two have spent all this time with some vigilante-slash-lawyer and a guy named Foggy?"
"Exactly," you and Sam simultaneously reply. 
Bucky takes a deep breath in, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I forgot how exhausting it is keeping up with you guys."
Sam snorts, "And that's not even the half of it."
"What more could there possibly be?"
"You're forgetting about Karli," Sam points out.
"Right," Bucky nods. "So where is she these days?"
"That's what Joaquin was doing after everything that happened in New York," Sam replies. "Apparently, it's not easy to find a safe place for one of the world's most wanted fugitive."
Bucky scoffs, "No kidding."
"She's somewhere safe. Somewhere we they can help her, teach her."
"I've visited her a few times. It's pretty cool. They call it a school for gifted kids, and it's actually like a real school," you explain, a look of wonder and awe shining in your eye. "They've got teachers to help with the powers. There's other kids that are like her. It's - it's the kind of place I would've really liked to grow up in."
That only leads him to yet another one of your many loose ends left to tie up. "Speaking of, no word from Fury?"
You take a large gulp of air. "Sorta."
"Really?" Bucky gapes.
"Well, we still have no idea where he is or how to get in touch with him. Plus, he's as cryptic as ever."
--
You sit on the dock, palms turned over in your lap, timing your breathing with the lapping waves below your feet. Sam clears his throat, "I have something for you."
Your shut eyes furrow at him, "Sam, I swear if it's another self help book-"
"Will you just look?"
You creak an eye open to see a thick, white envelope in Sam's hands, "What is that?"
"I don't know. It just showed up here, but look." You take the envelope from Sam, looking closely at the crisp white paper. On the corner, emblazoned on the envelope were the initials N.J.F.
"Do you think..?"
"I wouldn't put it past him. He was always a cryptic asshole," Sam shrugs. "I'll just give you a minute."
"No," you stop him. Though you were both at fault for Sam's absence on the day you returned to the place from before, you wanted him here for this. You wanted him here with you. You were ready to rebuild your found family once more. "Stay with me, please."
He smiles down at you, "I'll stay."
Both you and Sam wait with bated breath as you carefully tear the envelope open. On the inside resides a manila envelope with hundreds of pages neatly tucked inside.
"What is that?"
"I think it's your file," Sam replies. "I recognize it from when Fury first asked me to be your handler. It was a hell of a lot thinner back then."
"Do you know what's in it?"
"No idea. He showed me the first few pages and that's it. The rest was top secret."
You flip through pages and pages. You immediately recognize the handwriting occupying most of the pages, the handwriting of Nick Fury himself.
Pages and pages of his writings. All of them marked with his own thoughts, things he never told you, things you never knew.
'Intelligent... lacks even the most basic social skills.'
'Eager to learn. Even more eager to help.' 
'Pierce has dubbed her SHIELD's greatest asset. The antithesis to the fist of HYDRA...'
"The fist of HYDRA?" you ask.
"The Winter Solider - they called him the fist of HYDRA. Funny how that worked out."
The next line that catches your eye, you read aloud, "I fear for her. I fear she's too soft for it all. Every day, I come to the realization that she is not built for this line of work. Every day, I fear she has less and less of a choice."
There's something about that line in particular that hurts more than anything else. Nick was the one person that believed in you from the moment he met you. And even he doubted you could handle it all. "He didn't think I could handle it."
"No, he just thought you were meant for more," Sam objects.
You offer a small smile at Sam as you continue flipping to through the file. "Why do you think he sent this? Why now?"
"Look at that, on the last page," Sam points out.
"It's a note," you whisper.
"I'm still rooting for you. Even from afar." - Nicholas J. Fury.
--
"So you haven't talked to him."
"Not exactly," you admit. "He sent some old files over."
"He made contact by sending you his old junk," Bucky surmises. 
"I think it was his way of reminding me that I'm not alone, that he's still here, somewhere."
At least, that's what you believed. You believed that in his own Nick Fury way, he cared about you. In his own way, he might've seen you as a daughter as much as you saw him as a father.
And someday, you hoped you could tell him that. 
That only reminded you of yet another thing you had yet to fill Bucky in. You weren't even sure how to tell him, or if he'd look at you and think you were crazy.
In the days after coming home, you spent hours ruminating over those flashes of memories. Memories of Tony, Natasha, and Steve. A moment in the Compound that you were sure never actually happened, but felt so intimately real.
It was Steve's words reminding you that Nick Fury cared about you that made receiving that package from Nick easier.
You decided that it was real. Every part of it. Somehow. Some way. The universe had gifted you one final goodbye, one last moment with those you held so dear.
It was as real as the friendship you and Tony had despite those dark moments. It was as real as Steve's familiar scent filling your nose as he apologized for hurting you. As real as the way Natasha held you while telling you that you changed Karli's story.
You didn't know how or why, but you were gifted one last moment with each of them. And there was nothing more real than the love you would always have for your found family. 
You decide that's a story for another time. 
You smile at Sam, then at Bucky, "Things really worked out for us, didn't they?"
"It's about damn time," Bucky grunts.  
The Louisiana air fills your lungs as you look up to the sun, basking in the feeling of the warmth and sunshine bathing you. "I'll never get tired of the Sunshine."
Bucky watches you for a long moment. It was a sight to behold. Watching you stare up at the sky once more. He couldn't count how many times he'd prayed to anyone who would listen that he would get to witness that one last time.
All the times he saw you stare at the floor, bogged down by everything that tried to dim your brightness. He always wished you would stare up at the sky just one more time.
In his experience, people always looked worse in the light. People shied away from the light for fear of seeing all the cracks in the foundation, all the darkness that lurked beneath. You didn't have that problem.
And for someone like him, someone deprived of light for so long, he was glad that he could finally bask in the warmth. He was glad he finally stepped into the daylight.
As you sat before him, head thrown back, a smile planted on your face, he swears he's never seen you look more free, more at peace. He would never get tired of Sunshine either. "Me neither."
Sam gently pats your shoulder, rising from his seat, "Well, now that we're all caught up, we should head back before Sarah starts a search party."
"Why don't you go and we'll be right behind you?" Bucky sarcastically offers.
"Ha, ha," Sam stiltedly laughs, shooting Bucky a glare. "Not a chance."
"Come on, James." You extend a hand to Bucky, nudging your chin towards the house. "That way we can tell Sarah that Sam was using AJ and Cass to spy on us."
Bucky takes your hand, smirking at Sam, "That's a great idea."
"So this is how it's gonna be now? You and Bucky... and Sam?" Sam calls as you and Bucky start walking back to the house. "You guys are terrible friends!"
"Did you hear something?" you sarcastically ask Bucky.
He smirks over his shoulder. "No, not a thing."
"You guys could at least wait for me!" Sam calls as you three walk back through the house. "You know, I thought it would take longer for you two to forget about me."
"There you guys are," Sarah playfully exclaims as walk down the porch steps. "I was about to send a search party for you."
"Told you so," Sam smugly remarks.
"Would it be morally wrong to push him off the dock?" Bucky audibly wonders.
"Hmm..." You rest your hand on his arm, guiding him away from Sam and the dock, "I want to say no, but I'm leaning towards yes."
The day passes with a lightness that none of you have felt in quite some time. And while you all know that all of your problems hadn't been solved quite yet, there is no foreboding sense of doom building along the horizon. It feels right.
For the first time in a long time, you feel whole.
Sitting across from Sam, beside Bucky, gorging on food, the smell of the fresh water and the sounds of kids running around, it feels like you're finally in the right place at the right time. And perhaps most importantly, with people you could call yours.
You rest your head on Bucky's shoulder. "So what about you?"
Though he'd deny it for the rest of his life, Sam smiles at the sight of peace that flashes on Bucky's face as you curl against him.
Bucky hums thoughtfully, "Honestly, it's been quiet. Mostly therapy. I told Yuri about his son."
"How did he take it?"
"About as well as you'd expect," Bucky solemnly responds, his mouth twisting as he recalls the heartbroken look on Yuri's face when he told him about his son's death. "But he knows, he doesn't have to wonder anymore."
You lace your fingers with his, gently squeezing his hand, "I knew you would do the right thing. You always do."
You end the day sitting beside Bucky on the dock you'd spent so many days sitting and staring up at the sky wishing for this very moment. The moment that brought you back to him, finally back to him.
While flashes of the battle may always come back to you in a blur, you could also see all the light the future held for you. At last, all of you, all of him intertwined.
And in this moment in time, your little found family, you had all finally found your peace.
As the sun sets over the horizon, you rest your head on Bucky's shoulder, melted into his embrace. "Sometimes, I can't believe it."
Bucky looks down at you. "What?"
"That we survived. That we're here. Together. For a long time, I thought I'd lost you. I really thought I'd lost you."
"You couldn't lose me," he promises. He stares at you in awe as you watch the sun sink beneath the horizon. And in that moment, he knows, he's finally found his way back to you. His soul, his heart had found its rightful place in this world. And whatever the future might hold, at least he'd have you by his side. "Not then. Not now. Not ever. It's you and me."
"Ahem..." Sam clears his throat from behind where you and Bucky sit.
You sigh, rolling your eyes. "And Sam too."
"If you insist," Bucky grunts.
"It's me and you." It's more than a promise, it's an unspoken vow. A vow to always find your way back to him. A vow to reach for his hand even in times of darkness. A vow to always be his. 
You intertwine your fingers with his, squeezing his hand three times, "It's me and you."
Bucky Barnes Masterlist Inspired by Taylor Swift Series
And that's (officially) a wrap on The Twin Flame. Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey. I love you all. 💛 (Stay tuned, dear readers, I've got some extras coming your way…)
As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛
Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes@beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a @weallhaveadestiny @mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064 @michealharrypotter @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @withyoutilltheendoftheline @the-photo-hoe @rae-nna @sarachabeans1@double-shot-of-tequila @spookyparadisesheep @lunaalovesyouu @daisy-loves-bucky @roseproseposts @theoraekenslover @king814318 @maybesomedaytho @carlie-babes99 @sunshinechikin @as-white-as-snow-love @melala1030 @badasswlthafatass @armystay89 @multiversefanfics @cherrysscinema @breathlesspieceofdeath @ravenn-darkholme @bxckybxrnes24
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vanivanvanilla · 7 months
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lifestealtober day 28 - betrayal
it was a long time coming
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no shadows + og screenshot ^_^ btw the pumpkin has discarded dead leaves with a healthy green one growing while the dandelion has fallen apart . no particular reason of course ! there would never be symbolism in mc fanart
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lesbienneregard · 2 years
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just like... 
the narrative of this extremely ambitious woman, who gave up everything for her career, her freedom, her friendships, her love... a woman who was ready to break an oath as old as her city to accomplish her lifetime goal... a woman so full of hubris, so confident about her and her era’s power to see herself as equal to the gods... a woman who has never failed at what she was good at.
the narrative of this woman choosing love above all else for just once, seeing their fear of what she’s become and just, choosing to save her friend and the love of her life, in a split second, in an impulse decision.
the narrative of the woman letting her heart make a decision one time, just one time, and this one time causing an apocalypse.
the narrative of the universe proving her that no matter if she tries or not, she’ll lose those closest to her heart anyway. 
like, i can’t wait to see where this villain origin story will go.
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autumnsxxangel · 2 months
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Is anyone else here an old Taiwan pop fan? Because as much as I am loving and obsessing over Unknown, I am 100% relating to all the interviewers who are essentially looking at Chris and going "What do you mean you did a BL?" (But like specifically Da Ye getting 'mad' and pretending to puke every time Chris does fanservice 🤣🤣🤣)
Also, when I tell you Chris is relatively tame this time around in promotions...he's taking this older brother persona seriously. I'm hoping as promotions continue he gets a little more unhinged. Like The Iron Four promotion unhinged. Because you can see the suppressed glee in his eyes every time his friends have to be professional and ask him questions about the show and he gets to answer in a way that makes them want to hit him
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vveissesfleisch · 2 months
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when you’re trying to focus on work but the most insultingly perfect song for the fic you just started writing that won’t stop plaguing your brain comes on shuffle and you have to take a moment (or 10) to just
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p4nishers · 9 months
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can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys
#the title itself!!! THE FUCKING TITLE#swan UPON leda#god he's an actual genius THANK U HOZIER SO FUCKING MUCH#i hate how that myth is portrayed and received and objectified bc they make it out to be such a funny little chuckle story like 'hahaha led#is SO easy that she fell for a swan isn't that actually the funniest thing you've ever heard omg like women are literally so easy to please#whatever whatever blahblahblah yes that's fucking hilarious matthew thank u SO much for that absolutely fascinating commentary on a women#getting raped by a god really truly an amazing insight into ur pea fucking brain#like fuck sorry but i just absolutely despises how this myth is made out to be and i remember learning abt it in class and being literally#nauseated bc guess fucking what it's literally not hard to understand wtf is happening and while u r laughing away about i repeat a WOMEN#getting RAPED some fucking of us have brain enough to be mortified#jesus ANYWAY#hozier dropped that song after roe v wade was over turned and i just i love him so fucking much he cares SO MUCH and before anything else#he's an activist and he actually gives a shit about women's rights and he dropped this song as a comfort as something to hold onto but also#as a social commentary and he linked charities and resources to help women and keep them safe and this song just means everything to me#bc greek mythology often gets reduced to children stories bc most ppl know myths from children books and obviously a book for kids not gonn#outloud say the word rape or even imply that that's what's happening and that's fine ig but bc so many ppl know it from there it gets#reduces to a joke and a raped women gets ridiculed but hozier actually took one of the few poems about leda being raped and it being a rape#at all and made it into a song during a time that was so traumatizing for ever afab person in the world basically and it just says 'i see#you i see what you're going through and i'm listening and i actually care and i want to help you' and he's helping by writing a song yes bc#he's spreading the word that way bc that's how movements are spread and people listen to him when he's singing and that's how he helps and#i did i mention that i love him? bc i'd actually do anything for him and to meet him and tell him how much he fucking means to me#the line that always gets me is 'a crying CHILD pushes a CHILD into the night' bc yes she was a fucking child who had to deliver 4 KIDS BC#AN ASSHOLE DECIDED SHE WAS PRETTY ENOUGH TO FUCK and nobody ever cares that she was just a child and her child helen was just a child when#she was abducted and raped and impregnated (JUST LIKE HER MOTHER) by theseus a supposed great hero and im genuinely sick she was just a#child like so many women or girls in greek mythology and ik it was a different time back then or wtv but they were just GIRLS and nobody#cared about that or cares now. but this song does.#bc of course it does it's hozier.#hozier#swan upon leda
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marcusagrippa · 2 months
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true romance died in 12bc
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itspileofgoodthings · 2 months
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fascinating to read the lyrics people are quoting from the album because usually by now I at least recognize most of them but I keep seeing so many I do not even vaguely recall
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katebihshop · 6 months
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"you can't be mad at people for not knowing" i'm not! i'm mad that you haven't made any effort to learn while you spread harmful bullshit and claim you're a poor innocent baby who can't be expected to know any better whenever you're called on it!
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marypsue · 4 months
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I think the reason why 'Anti-Hero' is so dissatisfying to me, despite constantly catching me on its hook, is that that third verse should have been a bridge.
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ok im not responding to that person anymore but the white reveal holy shit what. you should in fact stop making walls of text whiteknighting for black ppl who have varied opinions on that episode and talking like ur an authority on this. i dont even know what to say lmao i will continue to shut up about it because genuinely what is any of this its ridiculous we should not be the centering our opinions in a conversation about racism. that apology was for who i thought was a black person having no patience for me posting my thoughts on a thingt i do not experience not for a white person absolutely dominating the conversation across the dw tag over a topic that you should not be centering yourself in????
#i will always listen to black people who call me out whether or not theyre just yelling at me or wte#because racism is an exhausting thing to experience#i have very little time for a white person writing me an essay about how i need to shut up when theyre actively centering#their white opinion on the racism episode as fact and drowning out black ppls commentary including ppl who are saying the same thing#like u are in fact still taking over black fans when u make a billion posts repeating things they've already said instead of just rbing#theyre now vagueing me like ''the fact people assume im black for speaking out on racism really shows fandom is dominated by white ppl''#MOTHERFUCKER I THOUGHT U WERE BLACK BECAUSE UR SPEAKING AS AN AUTHORITY ON THIS WHICH U SHOULD NOT BE DOING#u have multiple long posts talking abt white ppl as if ur not one and probably regurgitating points from black creators without credit#they really tagged that post ''what happened to silence is violence'' im dead#also in their second rb they were saying im uncritical of the way rtd writes black characters and like fucking how lol#even just based on that post how did u get there. i was literally @ing the people who are acting like he's antiracist for this#but tbh they were acting like the word antiracist is synonymous with unproblematic and perfect and that makes a lot of sense lol#very telling from someone who frames themself as an antiracist activist while pulling this shit#fucking wild#we do not get to decide whether that episode was done well or not. as white people. regardless of our first thoughts on it#like we should both just rb black peoples thoughts on it and stfu#they were so eager to tell me noo you absolutely SHOULD post ur white opinions on whether or not racism was handled well in this episode#and definitely dont wait to see black fans thoughts on it before saying anything because silence is violence. hm#okay
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bejeweledmp3 · 3 months
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computer how do i stop feeling insecure on my writting so that can i write. computer please
#talking tag;#ok so. story time sure why not#today is my first day of uni and i had classes from 8.30 am to 11:45 which was. fine i was exhasuted but it was fine#and then i had to wait to meet some friends for lunch and i started writting and it just hit me that totp is actually over 50k words#and it's like brooooo i literally wrote a novel length fic (that's still not done btw! not close!) and for whattt who even has the time#to read something like that like why bother. it's not even (directly) about the main characters and i just#i'm afraid that i'm repeating myself i'm afraid that chracters are not being developed like i hoped they would i'm afraid that no one will#care and i'm also afraid that the people that do care won't like it#and then i met with my friends who study cinema and they bumped into people from their classes and i was just.#there listening to their conversations without interacting like what the FUCKKK am i doing here pretending that i fit in with the cool#cretive people and that my prose is any good at all#just. 50 thousand words of fanfiction and i'm worried that none of them are any good#but lately my motto is that i will figure it out so. i will figure it out#i did cry about it (lmao) which i'm counting as progress from the empty nothingness i felt around this time of year a year ago#but yeah man it sucks. totp is my baby but (just like kim lmao) my default is being hard on myself. i just can't not be#i think i'll write on my diary about this and then!!! we move on. oh well#i will finish totp that's a promise but yeah. today just hasn't been great i guess#and i have no one in my life to talk to about this so!!!!!! shouting into the void i guess
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devilsskettle · 1 year
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whenever i hear a song that i would like if it weren’t for the fact that it was too long, i think about this:
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like you can afford to write tangentially if you/your music is already popular and you know that people are going to listen to you no matter what and in fact laud your longer pieces as being genius etc but can you really be releasing 5+ minute long songs without a built-in audience?
#idk. thinking about this because of the new lana album and i think i’d like a lot of these songs better if they were shorter lol#some of these songs drag so much especially when she includes these long sections of like one repeated line over and over again#or like when taylor swift releases the extended version of all too well and everyone freaked out#that’s all good and well but she HAD to release the shorter version first#and she knows she has this huge fanbase that will eat that shit up no matter what she does really#part of it is nostalgia admittedly but i also think the shorter version is just a better song#that song is on the longer side to begin with but 10 minutes???? why#(i did listen to both songs back to back to make sure my opinion was still the same as when the 10 minute version was released & it is lol)#idk! obviously i’m bad at this myself because i write so fucking much to express a simple point but it is more skillful to be able#to say things as effectively and precisely in a more concise way#not saying this ONLY applies to mitski because she’s the one this article is about but she is a good example of it#like being able to express a feeling in just a couple lines that would probably take a less skilled writer like a novel to express#it also reminds me of how my high school latin teacher described how in college he took a class about museum design or something like that#and their first assignment was to write a description of an artifact to tell museum visitors what it was#and every time he submitted a draft the professor would tell him to make it shorter while still communicating the necessary information#until he literally could not make it any shorter than it already was#because you have to assume that people are not gonna read all that! because they won’t unless they have some kind of external motivation to#idk there IS something to be said for including ‘unnecessary’ parts of writing etc obviously there’s nuance#but a lot of the time i think if there isn’t a reason to include something then why include it!
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kraviolis · 11 months
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i hate knowing that i would be so fucking good at and have so much fun with GTA RP while also being physically incapable of even trying it out.
#krav talks#god is keeping me from doing GTA RP bcus they know it would completely take over my life and all i would do every single day is GTA RP#just watching it scratches an itch in my brain i can only imagine what actively participating would feel like#i just hope that when im finally physically capable of it its not like. completely dead and gone.#and also i mean. i could just. make a mute character. thats the main problem#but also that would limit my RP abilities so much#even tho i can type super fast typing does make me overthink myself#vs just talking in improv forces me to come up with something quickly and flows better#the one thing that ive always hated about RPG-types like fallout or sims or the like is that after the first playthru it gets sooo boring#bcus everything becomes so predictable#and mmos ive never liked bcus its so strange and uncomfortable to just see all these ppl around but have no immersive way to interact#but GTA RP and especially nopixel is like. EXACTLY what ive been looking for my whole life#i was obsessed with darkrp gmod servers as a youngin and loved the mix of practical mechanics with roleplaying#ive never been able to do tabletop rpgs bcus of my struggle with audio processing#and ttrpgs are literally 90% listening to someone explain whats happening#vs. roleplaying in multiplayer video games which just let me SEE whats goin on so i'd just have to ask ppl to repeat what they said#rather than asking a game master to repeat what they just said but theyve spent the past 5 minutes explaining the situation in detail
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