#literally did a double take after writing the word myself

[storiesforallfandoms]

i need someone older ~ william afton;five nights at freddy's

word count: 3794

request?: no

description: after a bad breakup, she finds herself becoming more and more attracted to her much older boss

pairing: william afton x female!reader

warnings: swearing, age gap (reader is mid 20s, afton is 50s), power imbalance technically (but it's fine), bit of an au (so he doesn't unalive anyone in this one)

masterlist (one, two, three)

I stormed into work, really pushing it for time. I had slept past my alarm and was incredibly reluctant to get out of bed. After the night I had, the last thing I wanted was to work eight hours in a children's restaurant, with screaming kids and the animatronics playing the same three songs all day. But I needed the money, and hopefully a distraction.

"Whoa, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?" my coworker, Adam, asked.

"Fuck off," I muttered. "I gotta go change into my uniform. Can you punch me in so I'm not late?"

"Yeah. Be quick, though. Afton's here."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't even know our names. He's not going to know I'm supposed to be on the clock."

I changed as quickly as I could while having limited space in a tiny bathroom stall. I stuffed my clothes into my backpack and did a quick double check in the mirror to make sure I was work appropriate. I wasn't paying enough attention as I stepped out of the bathroom and managed to literally run into someone who was walking past. I cursed under my breath as I looked up and came face to face with the fucking owner of Freddy Fazbear's.

As if this day couldn't get any worse.

"|'m so sorry, Mr. Afton," I said.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Where's the fire, though? You seem like you're in a hurry."

How do I answer this without getting in shit? "I'm just, uh...trying not to be late. I had to change, and bring my bag to my locker."

William looked down at his watch. I felt my heart starting to pound.

"Cutting it a little close there," he commented.

"I know."

My grip on my bag had tightened as I braced for the worst. I had never met William before. Despite owning the restaurant, he was rarely ever around. Whenever he was, he was usually tucked away in his office for most of the day and only ever spoke with our manager. Due to this, I didn't know if he would be a hard ass who was about to write me up for running late. After the events of the previous night, I didn't think I'd be able to take getting reprimanded today.

He took me by surprise when he smiled and said, "Just don't let it happen again, okay?"

I nodded, unable to form any words, and scurried around him to the lockers.

Adam looked at me when I finally returned to the floor. "What took you so long?"

"I ran into Afton," I responded.

His eyes widened. "Did he give you shit?"

"Luckily no. Just told me not to let it happen again."

"I warned you that he was here."

I flipped Adam off when I was sure none of the kids could see me.

As if my day couldn't get any worse, my manager came to tell me that I was stationed on the prize counter for the day. The prize counter was probably the worst part of the restaurant. There was never any downtime at the counter. Either there was rowdy children hopped up on candy and pizza screaming about wanting toys they didn't have enough tickets for, or there were tired parents wanting to buy tokens for the arcade games while their rowdy kids were nearby screaming. Not to mention it was right next to the main stage, so the sound of screaming children was only matched by the sound of pre-recorded music coming from the animatronics' speakers. And to top it all off, the closing duties for the prize counter took longer than any other section of the restaurant.

It was the worst section to work, and I already wanted to leave just knowing that was my station for the day.

The only plus side was that being kept busy made the day fly by. But the usual craziness of Freddy Fazbear's was extra unbearable to a point where I felt myself on the edge of tears numerous times. I knew it was going to be a bad idea for me to be at work, and I was really regretting coming in.

I let out a sigh of relief as the last family finally left and the animatronics finally powered down. Adam laughed at me as I put my head down on the cool glass that held the prizes. "You're giving yourself more work to do."

I looked at the smudge I had left on the glass before glaring up at him. "I don't think my one smudge is making things any worse."

"Okay seriously, what is up with you? You've been grumpy all day."

I sighed and shook my head. "I had a bad night."

"Do you want me to help you close up so you can get out of here sooner?"

I gave him a look. "We both know you don't actually want that."

"But I'd do it to help you."

"I appreciate it, but I'll be fine. My annoyance and desire to leave will make me work faster."

Adam didn't fight me on it anymore. He said goodnight and clocked out. Once I heard the front door close and lock, I immediately got to work with cleaning. That was the easiest part as all I had to do was clean the glass of the prize case and pick up the discarded tickets from the floor. When I finished that, I started counting the cash in order to close it off. That was supposed to be another easy task, but my mind being anywhere but the task at hand made it so much harder.

Restocking the prizes was the hardest part. I had been on my own for nearly an hour, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted, so I was trying to rush out of there but found myself fumbling a little extra. I was trying to dump a box of tiny soldier toys into their respective bin when the box slipped from my hands and landed on its side, the toys scattering all over the floor.

It was my breaking point. Everything finally came crashing down around me and the flood gates finally opened. I lowered myself to the floor, sitting with my back against the counter. I buried my head into my hands and began to sob.

"Seems like a bit of a strong reaction to dropping some toys."

I jumped and looked towards where the voice had come from. I was sure I was the only one left in the restaurant, everyone else having left while I was doing my closing duties. Even my manager had left, giving me the keys and the code to the security system. But, turns out, I was wrong, because there was William Afton leaning over the counter to look down at me.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, wiping the tears from my face. "S-Sorry Mr. Afton. I-I didn't realize - "

"Hey, it's okay," he said, cutting me off and speaking in a soft voice. "What's going on? You seem stressed."

"It's...personal things. I shouldn't have let it interfere with my work."

"Fuck the professional shit for a second here. Forget I'm your boss, forget we're on the clock. If there's anything going on that you want to talk about, I'm all ears."

I leaned against the counter across from him. "It's stupid."

"You're crying, so I don't think it's that stupid."

I sighed. "My boyfriend broke up with me last night, after admitting he's been cheating on me for the last three months."

William whistled in response. "That's tough."

I nodded. "It just...came out of nowhere. We've been together for three years, moved in together last year. There was no signs that anything was wrong. I didn't even suspect that he was cheating. He came home last night and suddenly told me everything. Packed a bag and went to his...I guess...girlfriend's house. Told me he'd be back at some point this week to get his stuff."

Tears were stinging my eyes again. I looked away so William wouldn't see me cry anymore. Upon looking down, I realized my bare arms were on the glass of the prize counter, leaving smudges again. I cursed under my breath and turned to grab the cleaner again.

"Here, let me," William said, reaching for the cleaner. "You pick up the toy soldiers and I'll help restock the prizes once I finish this."

I was a little shocked, but definitely was not about to argue over getting help. We worked much quicker as a team and, finally, I was able to clock out to leave. I stood by as William set the security system and locked the gates.

"Thank you for helping me," I said.

"You don't have to thank me," he said. "It seemed you needed help, and I wasn't about to let one of my employees struggle while I was on the property." I smiled at him and started for my car. "For what it's worth - " I paused and turned back to him. " - your ex-boyfriend is a fucking idiot. You seem like a great woman. Don't beat yourself up over him."

He smiled and turned to walk towards his own car. I watched him go, surprised by what he said. Even through the cold night air, I could feel my face burning.

~~~~~~

William was around more after that. Not just in his office, but he was actually out on the floor. Everyone was noticing his increased presence, but I found myself noticing it in a different way. Whenever William was near, my eyes were practically glued to him. I found it difficult to concentrate whenever he was around. Luckily, everyone else was so distracted by his presence that they didn't notice how useless I had become.

It was wrong. I knew that. Having a crush on a coworker was bad enough, but a crush on your boss was a whole other level of bad. Especially when your boss is so much older. I had no idea whether or not he was even married or had kids for God's sake!

But every time I saw him, I couldn't stop my heart from racing. I wanted him in a way I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself.

During one of my shifts, I was put on the serving section. Serving was easy enough - take orders, bring food, check on tables. The hardest part was trying not to trip over a child running past while carrying a whole pizza on a hot tray. Most of us had learned the art of scanning the area before we walked, but sometimes you just don't notice quick enough and end up surprised by one of those little fuckers.

One of the cooks passed a pizza through the pass to me and told me the table number. I took the tray and balanced it against my shoulder, something I found was the easiest way to balance the bigger trays. The restaurant wasn't too busy, but there were still enough kids running around that I took in my surroundings before I started to walk. I was making a mental note about two kids who were stood by the stage, dancing to the song that Freddy was "singing", and didn't notice another kid who was racing from one of the playrooms in front of me. I stopped suddenly, just short of running into him, but found myself losing my balance after he ran past.

I felt two hands grab hold of my waist, holding me upright and saving me from a very embarrassing scene. When I turned to thank my savior, I came to face the blue eyes I had been trying to desperately to avoid today.

"That could've been a disaster," William said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Th-thank you," I managed to stutter out. I could still feel the heat of his hands against my waist, like they were burning through the clothes and searing my skin. I almost forgot the heavy tray of pizza I was carrying in that moment.

When he let me go, his eyes still trained on me, I quickly turned and hurried to my table. I tried not to seem so flustered, but I knew I had failed. I stuttered through every sentence before finally dismissing myself to the prize counter where one of my other coworkers, Beth, was snickering to herself.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Don't ask," I responded.

"Oh, I'm asking. Are you all hot and bothered for Afton?!"

"Shh!" I snapped, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one had heard. Not like anyone would over the usual noise of the restaurant.

"Oh, you so are!" she said. "Holy shit, (Y/N), you know that's bad news right? He's literally our boss."

"I know he is. I'm not stupid. But...I can't help it!"

"At least he would be more of a gentleman than that small dick asshole you call your ex." She looked over her shoulder as the front door to the pizzeria opened. When she looked back, her eyes were wide. "Speak of the devil."

I looked over to see none other than the small dick asshole himself, Josh, walking in. I wished I could disappear into the floor and never be seen again. I tried to turn and walk away before he spotted me, but no luck.

"(Y/N)!"

I groaned and turned back to him. "What do you want, Josh?"

"I was just over getting the last of my stuff - "

"Awesome, I do not care. If you've come to give me your key back, you could've just left it on the dining room table."

"No, I came to say that I couldn't find my Springsteen album."

I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "So you came all this way to...what? Ask me what I did with it? I have no idea, Josh, I threw everything that was yours into boxes and garbage bags. If it's not in there, you might've left it in your car or at your new girlfriend's house."

"It's not any of those places." I wasn't sure if I should've been hurt about the fact that he wasn't addressing my last comment directly, but I definitely was a little bit.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"I wanted to see when you were going to be off work and maybe I could come by to look for it with you."

I scoffed. "Are you serious right now? Josh, I don't know what the fuck happened to your album, but you're sure as hell not coming over to the house. That is not your place anymore, and you're very much not welcome there."

"Why can't we be adults about this?"

"You lost the right to being adult about this the second you decided to cheat on me! And how dare you say that shit, but then come down to my place of work to try and, what, harass me into letting you back into my home? We're over, Josh. I don't ever want to see you again. If I find any of your shit left at the house, I'll drop it in the trash."

"What seems to be the problem here?"

I suppressed the urge to groan again. As if things couldn't get any more complicated.

"No problem, Mr. Afton," I said, turning to face William with the best, innocent smile I could muster. "Just an...unwelcome guest."

William looked at me for a moment before letting his eyes wander to Josh. I didn't have to say much else for him to recognize who the "unwelcome guest" was and I could see anger in his eyes.

"Well, time to get back to work, (Y/N)," he said to me. "Your customers are waiting."

I nodded and ducked away from the situation. As I walked away, Josh called after me, "That's fine, I'll be waiting for you to get off! We can talk more then!"

"Like hell you will."

A collective gasp from the parents and Beth cause me to spin around to see William had grabbed hold of the collar of Josh's shirt. William was easily a head taller than Josh, so even if the act wasn't meant to be intimidating, he definitely looked intimidating. I don't think I've ever seen such fear on Josh's face. William turned Josh around and basically dragged him towards the front door.

"If I see you back here, I will have your ass arrested," he said as he threw Josh out of the restaurant. "Are we clear, punk?"

He didn't wait for a response as he pulled the door shut. I could see Josh standing there, a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. William re-entered the main area, still looking angry, but tried to put on his best customer service smile as he addressed his new crowd. "Sorry everyone. Just an unruly customer. Sorry for any trouble."

To me he added, "Come see me in my office, please."

Beth and I exchanged a look before I followed William towards his office. I was so sure he was going to get upset with me. Not only had I brought my personal shit to the restaurant (even though that wasn't my fault), but it had also resulted in a not so great scene in front of the customers. People get to talking, and I was sure that this story was going to be spread through town before the night was out.

The moment I stepped into his office, I set in on the apologies. "Mr. Afton, I'm so sorry about that. I had no idea he was coming. I've been trying to avoid him while he's moving his stuff out and I guess he was getting tired of that or wanted to poke me one last time or something - "

"Did he hurt you?"

I paused my rambling to look up at him. All anger was gone from his face and had instead been replaced by concern.

"What?" I asked.

"Did he do anything to you just then?"

I shrugged. "Not physically. He was definitely still trying to mess with me mentally, though."

William nodded. "Well, he's not welcome on the property anymore. If you see him, you have my full permission to contact the police immediately."

"I...I don't think that's entirely necessary."

"I don't mean to sound like an old man or anything, but I've met plenty of assholes like your ex, (Y/N). You give them an inch and they take a mile. If you don't deal with this now, he will continue to come back and harass you. I don't want that for you. You don't deserve that."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. I was realizing how close we were now. We were mere inches away from one another. If I wanted to, I could just reach out and touch him right now; grab him. I could've kissed him right then and there if I really wanted to. Who would've known?

As if reading my mind, William suddenly reached out and cupped my face. Before I could comprehend what was happening, his lips were on mine. It was kind of ironic, the fact that I had just been thinking about doing this exact thing, but now that it was happening it was like my brain wasn't sure how to comprehend the situation.

William pulled away just as quickly as he had initiated the kiss. He backed away from me, suddenly worried. "I'm so sorry. I...I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that."

In response, I pretty well threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with such force that it pushed him back into his desk. He positioned himself so that he was sat on his desk and basically pulled me into his lap. It was risky, anyone could've come by and caught us, but something about that just made the experience so much better; so much hotter.

William pulled away first again. I tried to chase his lips with mine, but he pushed me back, chuckling at my eagerness.

"Hold on," he said. "There's some things we have to discuss before this goes any further."

"Please don't tell me you're married," I said.

He laughed. "No, I'm not married. Divorced with a 10 year old daughter. That was the first thing I wanted to discuss, in case single dad is a dealbreaker."

"Very much not a dealbreaker."

"So...the age thing is also not a dealbreaker then?"

I shook my head. "If anything, I think that makes it kinda hotter."

A grin spread on his face. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind. But there is the big issue of the fact that I'm your boss."

It felt like I had been shoved off of cloud nine and come crashing down to earth. For a moment, I had forgotten that part. He was right, that was the biggest issue here. Kind of hard to get around it unless I ended up quitting, which I really did not want to do. It was nearly impossible to find a good paying job these days, and I needed this now more than ever since Josh wasn't going to be splitting rent with me anymore.

I climbed off of William's lap and stood across from him. "I guess...that is a big issue, huh?"

"I just don't want you to feel pressured into anything, and I don't want anyone to look at you any different because you're dating the boss."

I raised a playful eyebrow at him. "You jumped to dating pretty quickly there."

His smile was a little more bashful. "What can I say? I'm old school. I don't believe in hooking up or anything like that. If there's anything going on here, I want you to be able to classify it as a relationship."

In that moment, I found myself wondering why I hadn't always dated older men. I had wasted so much of my time on guys my age when I could've been dating someone who was actually a gentleman and cared about me and my feelings.

"Why don't we see where things go with this, and then we can tackle that big elephant in the room?" I asked.

"I think I can agree to that."

I took a step closer and said, "I really want to kiss you again, though."

He laughed and met me halfway, standing from his desk and taking my face in his hands again. When he kissed me, I felt like I was flying right back on to cloud nine.

#william afton #william afton imagine #william afton x reader #matthew lillard #matthew lillard imagine #matthew lillard x reader #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf movie #imagine #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[ghosts-and-glory]

Some Narinder character analysis for y’all.

This is a slightly re-edited excerpt from a much longer post of mine where I was specifically trying to provide a rebuttal to someone else. I’m kinda proud of some of my takes here and the write up took me hours so I’m gonna repost it here on its own.

I’m going into specifically into Narinder’s

Speech patterns and way of expressing emotions.

Implications of his post defeat dialogue

Relationship with Aym and Baal

Feelings on Ratau’s death

And a little extra on why do we “babygirl” Narinder

Full analysis under the cut.

The way Narinder expresses his positive feelings

First I gotta establish Narinder’s voice. Narinder seems almost incapable of giving a genuine compliment especially without turning it into something about himself.

Here’s three examples of him giving a complement to The Lamb. Taken from after defeating Amdusias and Shamura. He also complements The Lamb when you sacrifice Ratau but I’ll come back around to that.

I wanted to grab the entire quotes so it didn’t look like I was nitpicking.

"Very good, my vessel. It seems I chose well when I kept you from Death.”

First example, “very good,” is the complement, but immediately after he takes credit for this by calling you “my vessel” thereby claiming ownership over you. His vessel did well. And again “I chose well” doubled down and complemented himself.

“I admit, you have worn it (the red crown) almost as well as I could have myself.”

Again we see the complement layered in ego. “Almost as well as I” in other words you did well, but don’t forget I’m better. Also important to draw attention to is “I admit” this is a very explicit statement of his refusal to acknowledge the success of others.

"Your appetite for death is something I can admire, Vessel. But the Crown is mine, and none - NONE - are worthy. None other than I.”

Here he almost lays down a complement. “Your appetite for death is something I can admire” straight up, states his admiration. He seems to almost realize what he’s done and quickly pulls back into his ego, “But the crown is mine” “-none are worthy- None other than I.”

These are the three of the four ONLY times that Narinder ever says anything explicitly positive about someone else when he is a god. Thus establishing that the head ass cannot give out a compliment to save his life. The one time he gives you full credit for your actions he immediately pulls right back into his ego.

I cannot stress this enough. Someone who is characterized as cold and emotionally closed off as Narinder is WILL NOT suddenly undo this characteristic when they try and express a positive feeling.

Okay with that established we can look at his follower dialogue. Specifically these two examples from when you resurrect a follower and allow him to go on a mission.

“I cannot begrudge supplantation by one such as yourself.”

Literally saying I don’t resent you for taking my place. It’s not an explicit statement that he respects you but this is he weird fucked up little way of saying it. Of course he still lays it out in a way that’s self centred but we know from the way he has spoken that this is about as much verbal praise he is capable of giving.

The other one is a less explicit statement but I think it’s a interesting reflection of the final place of his character.

“…my thanks, Lamb.”

Being his last bit of unique dialogue, it’s an incredible ending to a character. He thanks you. That’s all he needed to say.

Narinder’s reaction to his defeat that he would rather die.

Let’s go over his dialogue in some depth.

"You weak, snivelling, foul thing. You - wait! Waaaiiiiiit!"

I’m starting with this line as it compels me the most. I find that there are two separate readings of this and I can’t really point to one above the other. On my play through I had assumed his wailing was more in reference to being denied death. It could also be read as him not wanting to be reduced to a follower and realizing what your mercy really means for his future.

“-are you to be a vengeful false idol, or a merciful coward? No longer can you blame your vile acts on me."

Okay, looking at the way he presents your two options he seems to push more for the murder action. “-vengeful false idol,” is how he refers to murder. It’s not exactly a glowing review but his use of the word vengeful is important. We know that one of Narinder’s main goals in the game is revenge, we he already acts with revenge I can’t say that he’s using this word as an insult. The false idol part of this statement seems like he’s attempted to separate himself from you, again for is ego.

Then he presents the spare option by calling you a “merciful coward.” The flow of this full sentence puts more pressure on this option. He presents it as the “or” the second option. This is the bad option, the option of a coward.

“So. vou are no different to me after all. You have become as I am."

I know this is a deranged order to go over these quotes but last we got murder. Compared to his spare dialogue this is incredibly sombre. We know from already establishing how big his ego is that saying you are the same as him is almost a compliment. I do find this dialogue incredibly interesting tho, I can’t exactly explain why but I can’t help but read this as damning as well. It’s like he means it in both ways, the ultimate fuck you. You are just as I am, for better and worse.

But from what we know about Narinder his edgy ass cannot express emotion. He wraps his statements in layers of irony and selfishness. Unless it supports the persona he puts on or inflates his ego he WILL NOT right out state his feelings or needs, especially when he was a chained god.

Relationship with Aym and Baal

Aym and Baal are incredibly hard to characterize. They don’t have much dialogue to work off of and only three characters every speak on them, Shamura, Narinder and Forneus. The context of the game does present them as more Narinder’s first (and second) hand, less followers more apprentices, almost, but where’s the fun in assuming.

"Intended as keepers, perhaps, but they were young and in need of guidance. Must I be blamed for my influence?"

I wanna draw attention to the specific wording of keepers. Again, based on the way Narinder speaks its safe to assume he means the formal meaning of a keeper, meaning a caretaker. It is unclear if Narinder was told they where his keepers or if he assumed so, but either way he still speaks on them as such.

For the sake of argument (and I don’t wanna rewrite this bit entirely) I’m gonna put the idea that Narinder brainwashed Aym and Baal against my presented idea of them being his keepers or apprentices.

The proposed idea of the brainwashing angle can be developed based on Narinder saying that “they where young and in need of guidance, must I be blamed for my influence.” This implies that, as much as Aym and Baal may have been sent as keepers, they where still young and Narinder could not help but be an influence on them. I am gonna come back around to this thread so hold onto this for a moment. Moving on.

“Two kits I did have, true love found! And yet one lackadaisy summer day, my beautiful children were taken away... a gift, they said, for the one they loved most, the one that waits...”

“Ooh, kits... I remember, I remember... two kits in my claws... a gift.."

It is unclear and morally dubious how Aym and Baal came to Narinder. First we’re not 100% where Narinder is chained. The wiki lists it as the afterlife and in dialogue Narinder refers to it as “at the gates between this life and the next, trapped at the nexus of what was and what wasn't.” (When he asks you to send him on a mission.) We can travel there both by dying and being summoned there by him.

Either way the assumption is that Aym and Baal had to die. (As an aside I have my own speculation on the conditions required for a person to be presented to Narinder or to be resurrected but that’s off topic.) The horrific implications being that either Shamura themself killed the kits or that they where already dying. However you cannot blame the reaper for ushering the dead away from life.

I’m going to work off of the cult specific definition and characteristics of brainwashing. It’s hard to characterize where Aym and Baal sit here as, again they have little dialogue and due to the nature of brainwashing it’s hard to spot. First I wanna grab my brainwashing resources.

I’m using Encyclopedia Britannica’s page on brainwashing, cults, indoctrination, manipulation as my primary resourse.

Again I kinda wanna apply a layer of irony to how literally I apply real life tragedy to this game that obviously uses cults in a comedic manner. I wanna focus in on the characteristics displayed by victims of brainwashing and the techniques used in brainwashing by an abuser.

Looking at the elements used in brainwashing the only one I can say off the bat that is present is isolation, obviously. But with that let’s grab all of Aym and Baal’s dialogue.

What is clear from their dialogue is their obedience to Narinder. They call him master while his keepers and still when you meet them later when adventuring. And physically we do see them by Narinder’s side the entire main game and they fight the Lamb first. But if we add some nuance and look at their role as keepers or my own theory of being apprentices both actions of obedience make sense still for those roles. On the same note they also don’t display traits you would expect for someone fully under Narinder’s control. They speak to the Lamb out of turn and attack without prompting from Narinder.

Other characteristics are hard to imply. With torture I do want to pass it off an unlikely as based on the way Narinder tries to manipulate the Lamb it’s only verbal and he cannot attack while chained and I don’t see that changing with the keepers. Traits like sleep, water and food deprivation can’t be applied for various reasons (mostly the being dead one) and we don’t know anything about Narinder and the keeper’s interactions in the past so I’ll have to disregard other traits like suggestion.

Baal: "It's you. Usurper of the Red Crown. The one who freed us."

Aym: "Ha! You are nothing compared to our Master. We have not been in this world long, but already I can tell you are weak. You lack discipline. Our Master wielded Death with precision and control. You allow chaos to reign."

Baal: "What my brother means to say is thank you."

Moving onto groupthink I can pretty comfortably say that this is not a present characteristic of Aym and Baal. In their limited dialogue we can easily characterize Aym as more outwardly defensive of Narinder but Baal is more reserved and even contradicts Aym and is able to speak freely of Narinder.

Looping back around to the way Narinder speaks on his influence on Aym and Baal. Again we know how Narinder speaks, he cannot give honest compliments and dodges affection like it’s a professional sport. With the way he will outright tell the Lamb to manipulate followers and then uses the words “guidance” and “influence” about Aym and Baal, he has to be avoiding admitting affection to the keepers. He does follow that up with “Do what you wish, scornful God. I care not for them.” But again does Forneus not also allow her kits to do as they wish?

My own reading of Narinder’s relation to Aym and Baal is that of mentorship but it could also be read as parental. But saying brainwashed is a big stretch.

His feelings on the death of Ratau

This is like another example of like, yeah, wow, an evil character does evil? Who could’ve possibly foreseen this? Sarcasm aside I do see his comments on this being a lesser evil.

First I do have to ask why, if Narinder held strong sense of unrest against his former vessel, did he not have him struck down? The main reason I can see is that Ratau is still devoted to the red crown, most clearly seen by the statue at the lonely shack which generates devotion.

Second, Ratau’s death isn’t on his hands, it’s on yours. I find his pride here is from The Lamb’s actions not the death of Ratau. You killed your mentor, he describes your actions as “treacherous opportunism” and says “A great Vessel takes their master's will as their own.” Based on his later dialogue this is likely more foreshadowing the Lamb becoming as Narinder is. Narinder tried to kill his siblings, and you did kill your mentor. “You have become as I am."

I’m gonna tangent quickly cause there’s a line here that is incredibly interesting.

"He renounced his position after striking a bargain that resulted in the sacrifice of a Follower. He was weak."

Incredibly interesting the way he condemns Ratau’s sacrifice of a follower. Narinder directly contradicts himself. It is implied that the follower was lost to another being that did not benefit Narinder, but the Lamb also sacrifices followers to the Fox and Midas. Just something to chew on.

Why do we “babygirl” Narinder and other evil characters?

This is kinda the last bit I’m gonna get into before I cap this off. It is incredibly funny for me to say “I babygirl Narinder” only to get a reply that’s like “I don’t think you babygirl him on purpose.” But I wanna talk about why this happens and why it happened to specifically Narinder.

When people complain about the fandom interpretation of Narinder I think they forget the tone of cult of the lamb. The closest thing I could think to call it would be a dark comedy kinda energy.

The game has very dark themes going on. Mentions of real horrible things like genocide, cults and religious abuse. But also just like look at the game, it’s visual style is so cute and non threatening, the bird characters have two mouths to commit to the bit. If you look at the way it depicts cults it’s very surface level, it’s more focused on being a satire on the common satanic media kinda look of a cult. Visually it bathes in its aesthetics, taking names from books like The Lessee Key of Solomon, uses villainous depictions of symbols like the pentagram or old Hebrew script, disregarding its nuanced origins.

And then they go onto do the funniest thing ever. The other bishop’s? Gross little freaks, based on commonly disliked animals, worm, frog, squid and spider. And then- and then they make the god of death, who they characterize and manipulative and evil, they make him a catboy. You cannot tell me they did not know what they where doing.

Why have I shot Narinder with the babygirl beam? CAUSE THE GAME DID IT FIRST!

I’m gonna call the god of death my little meow meow and point out his status as a Tumblr sexy man cause he’s a little guy and I wanna give him head scritches. But I’m also gonna call him a layered, fucked up and an incredibly interesting character in the same breath.

#my post #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl narinder #cult of the lamb narinder #cotl the one who waits #cult of the lamb the one who waits #character analysis #Malachi Why?

[reidslovely]

Something about helping frat!blonde! Peter touch up his roots. Like he calls you and reader must think its for hooking up purposes - then he surprises her w “can you. uh..retouchmyrootsplease” and she’s like “??? 🤨wat” and you just go over to his place and spend time with him, washing his hairr, he making eye contact with reader through the mirror, etc. But he’s still stubborn about his feelings so he’s like “this was a one time thing only don’t let it get to ya head”

sorry if this was jumbled I just had this in my head for a while now

Yes this idea is so so so so so cute. I have written something vaguely similar before but I love it so much I don't care to write it again

please reblog or comment in place of liking/hearting this post 🫶🏼

“Pete?” You questioned picking up your phone, your eyes locked on the clock that read 4:00pm. “It’s far too early for a booty call..what’s up pretty?” 

“Ya flatter bashful.” His chesty laugh could be heard on the other end of the phone. It sent your heart doubling in speed, your cheek pressed lovingly into your shoulder. 

“You still with me bashful? I need you to do me a favor.” 

“So this is a hookup call..you only ask me that if-” You're cut off by him rushing out a string of words. None of which you caught. “Pete..baby. I need you to breathe and say that again.” You laughed softly, already gathering your stuff up to head over to the Theta Tau. Regardless if this was a hookup situation or not you were tired of your homework and Peter always seems to take any type of stress away. 

“Can you uh..” There's an awkward cough and sigh. “Retouchmyrootsplease?” 

The questions still came out as one word this time around but at least you actually caught what he was saying. 

“Sure, Pete.” You tried not to laugh. “Do you have what you need or do we need to run by Sally?” 

“No, no I have everything here for you. Thanks for this.”

“Course Pete, anything for you.” You hung up before you could get any type of snarky reply. 

Peter’s blond locks were a new addition about three weeks into your situation ship and you absolutely loved them. They flattered his face, and made his little baby deer eyes even more baby deer like. Which made you want to kiss him even more, and made it hard to say no when he’s asking you for another round. 

“You’re literally the best for this. Just moved up to like number two in my ranking.”

It was a joke, you were easily number one if not the only girl in Peter’s ranking but you have to play along or else you’ll scare him away. 

“Offended, whose number one.”

“May..sorry.” Peter sighs dramatically, leading you up the stairs to his bathroom. Tossing a few nods and hey’s to his brothers walking down the steps. 

“Mhm can’t be mad at that.” 

Peter laughed sitting on the chair he’d tucked away in the bathroom, pulling off his shirt. 

“Awe did you go ahead and set everything up for me?”

“No I was gonna do it myself but that's how we ended up in this scenario in the first place.”

Peter would never admit to it but he had set everything up for you. He’d done it before he even picked up the phone: not that he knew you'd say yes but he could hope. 

“Mhm I see.” You hummed running your fingers through Peter’s hair. He grabbed his phone starting his music, looking at you in the mirror as you started sectioning his hair out. 

Admittedly the whole time he was locked on you. Every move you made he was locked on you, not wanting to miss a moment. His head lolled back as you ran; you painted the bleach on his roots. Earning soft little ‘stops’ and ‘hold your head up’ from you as he relaxed. Your eyes were fixed on his hair making sure you’re applying everything evenly and correctly. Peter held his phone up in the mirror snapping a quick photo of the two of you. The photo falling amongst the others he’s sneakily taken of you or the both of you that you had no clue about. 

“Okay you gotta sit for a while and then I’ll wash it, tone it, all that after.” You said sitting on the toilet lid next to him taking the gloves off, tossing them in the trash can. 

“This is nice.” 

Peter's comment threw you off, you two only really hung out in the context of having sex or it being mutually beneficial for both. You hated to admit you had more moments like this. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm no pressure, at least not for you. I still gotta make jokes and keep you entertained.” 

“Tragic.” You tsked resting your arm on the sink hand to head as your free hand started a 30 minute timer. 

“Come on, we have enough time to watch some of that Hulu cooking show you like.” Peter stood taking your hand in his walking to his room. You flopped down on Pete’s bed watching him sitting next to you. “Careful you’ll get bleach on your..”

“No no, I'm good sitting up.”

You nodded and laid your head on his lap watching The Bear, Pete’s fingers combing through your hair switching between watching the TV and you. 

Pete’s head was tilted back in the sink, a towel under his neck for comfort. “Stop looking down my shirt, Parker.” 

“I’m not…I’m not.” He lied, turning his eyes up to look at you as you shampooed after toning his hair. “Do I look fabulous?”

“Oh absolutely.” You laughed wrapping his hair up in a towel helping him sit up. Ruffling the towel through his hair you laughed watching it sticking up every which way. You blow dried it for him smiling and singing under your breath as you fixed his hair perfectly. 

“How do you feel Parker?” 

“Amazing..I look great thanks bashful.” He says turning around, capturing your hips in his hands. “Let's get dinner, and then we can come back here.” 

“I hate sex after dinner.” 

“No, no we come back here and finish the show.” 

“Oh I get to come back to the Theta house? And not have sex?” You fake a gasp of shock. 

“I know it’s a rare occurrence. This is a one time thing though, don’t let it get to ya head.” Pete taunts, hand rubbing your side grabbing his wallet off his dresser.

“Oh baby it has.” 

Peter knew and even in his playful disdain and stubborn personality you were slowly craving a spot out in his chest and making a home in it, and at this point he had no say in it.

___________

tags: @helloheyhihowdyheya @sincericida @moonyslove78 @a-lumos-in-the-nox @messymissy @adhdhufflepuff @toomanyfictionalboyfriends @ateliefloresdaprimavera @eevylynn

#tasm peter parker x reader #tasm andrew garfield #tasm!peter imagine #tasm peter parker #bambi writes #tasm fanfiction #tasm peter #tasm peter smut #tasm peter x you #tasm peter x reader #tasm!peter x reader #tasm peter parker imagine #tasm peter imagines #tasm peter fluff #andrew peter parker #tasm peter parker smut #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x reader #frat!peter

[444takeomi]

INSECURITIES

: ̗̀➛ summary: 1st gen bd with a small chested s/o

character(s): shinichiro sano, wakasa imaushi, takeomi akashi, keizo arashi

warnings: female reader, nsfw, sfw is still a little suggestive in parts (i have no self control), mentions of body insecurities, rough sex, breast worship, (attempted) tit fucking, lots of praise, degradation, (consensual) photo taking, exchanging nudes, daddy kink, takeomi (lol)

wc: 2.5k (i'm insane)

a/n: i’ve been feeling kinda bad about myself lately so i decided to write this, hopefully it'll help someone else feel a bit better as well. i apologise for any typos or my shitty writing

shinichiro

: ̗̀➛ sfw

- to be honest i think that shin is just happy that you're dating him — you were the first girl to say yes to him after 20 rejections, he really couldn't care less what your body looks like

- that doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, if anything he thinks that you're way out of his league and he can't believe he managed to pull you (bless him)

- shin doesn't even realise that you're insecure until you mention it to him, and when you do he can't believe what he's hearing — he literally does a double take and asks if he heard you correctly

- you're the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, it breaks his heart that you don't see yourself the way he does

- i feel like shin would get a little emotional hearing you talk about yourself in such a negative way, he’d pull you into a tight embrace while whispering in your ear through wobbly lips how gorgeous he thinks you are

- shin always showers you in compliments, hoping to help build your confidence — he never fails to catch you off guard and leave you flustered over his sweet comments

- “you’re so pretty, angel. how did i get so lucky?”

- “that looks amazing on you! wow, i can't believe you're mine.”

- “baby, you’ve got the cutest smile i've ever— nooo, don't hide! i wanna see your cute face.”

- whenever you're feeling bad about yourself shin will always hold you in his arms, telling you how much he loves you and how worthy you are — sometimes his words make you tear up because of how much of a sweetheart he is

- seriously, how did he get rejected 20 times?

- overall shin is such a sweet guy, he knows he won't be able to magically get rid of your insecurities (as much as he'd like to), but he hopes over time you’ll start to feel a little more confident in your appearance and start seeing yourself through his eyes <3

: ̗̀➛ nsfw

- the first time you took your bra off in front of shin he literally almost creamed his pants

- he had seen plenty of tits in porn, sure, but all those videos and magazines paled in comparison to the sight in front of him — the sight of the girl he loved more than anything in the world half naked in his lap, her pretty mounds on display for him

- shin was so giddy when you let him play with them, he couldn't wipe the lovesick grin off his face as he cupped and squeezed the warm flesh beneath his palms

- he was instantly addicted to the softness of your skin and how sensitive you were to his touch

- you could feel his cock throbbing beneath you as he fondled your breasts — you couldn't help but start rolling your hips against his, whining at the feeling of his bulge grinding against your clit

- he had to ask you to slow down so he didn't cum right then and there </3

- i think shin is someone who likes to worship your body during sex, especially the parts you're most self conscious about

- loves the little mewls and whimpers you let out as he kneads your small breasts in his larger hands, it drives him crazy whenever you arch your chest into his palms

- “y’like it when i play with these perfect little tits, baby?”

- loves to run his tongue over your nipples until they pebble under his touch and your hands are tangled in his hair, won't stop until you’re absolutely soaked and writhing beneath him

- sometimes shin cums really fast during sex, especially if you're facing him — he just can't get enough of your blissed out face and pretty tits </3

- whenever you take your shirt off in front of shin he always looks at you with so much love and desire, it's hard to feel insecure around him as it's plainly obvious how much he adores you

wakasa

: ̗̀➛ sfw

- in my opinion waka seems like the kind of guy who actually has a preference for small chests, he thinks they're pretty <3

- i have a hc that he was often teased for his height when he was younger, so if you’ve ever experienced negative comments about your body growing up he can definitely empathise with how you feel

- if he ever hears anyone commenting on your chest size he won't hesitate to beat the shit out of that person — especially if he’s drunk

- unlike shin, i don’t think waka is big on words of affirmation, but rather he shows his love for you with physical affection

- his hand is always on one of your breasts whenever you cuddle, most of the time it's not even sexual and he’s just enjoying the warmth beneath his palm

- loves resting his head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat, absentmindedly rubbing your waist with his thumb

- if he notices that you're not wearing a bra he’ll come up behind you and cup your breasts under your shirt

- “why would you need a bra when i’m right here?”

- he’s also incredibly clingy, he doesn't like to be apart from you and will often follow you around the house like a lost puppy — has walked in on you halfway through changing several times

- “waka, i need to change.”

- “so?”

- “can you leave for a minute?”

- “nah, i’m enjoying the view.”

- waka is always teasing you, but you can't deny the fact you have to fight the urge to smile whenever you roll your eyes at his flirty comments

- despite the fact waka doesn't often reassure you with words, his actions themselves speak volumes and you can tell how much he appreciates you just from the way he looks at you

: ̗̀➛ nsfw

- waka being touchy definitely translates into the bedroom as well — his hands are almost always touching your chest in some way during sex

- his palms always seem to find their way to your breasts whenever you make out, groping them through your shirt as you whine and squirm in his lap

- “you like that, princess?”

- his favourite position is cowgirl because it gives him full access to your chest, loves rolling his thumbs over your nipples and sucking on your tits while you mewl and bounce desperately on his cock

- waka will always end up marking your chest with hickeys and lovebites, he gets very possessive during sex and it's honestly so hot

- “see these? they're fuckin’ mine, you got that?”

- loves whenever you wear one of his oversized shirts after sex because he can see your hardened nipples through the fabric, sometimes he gets bricked up again when you two are cuddling because he can feel your nipples pressing against him through the thin material

- waka loves that you don't need to wear a bra with certain outfits, again he often gets hard in public seeing your nipples peeking through the fabric of your shirt

- he can't help it, he's so obsessed with your body — you literally drive him crazy <3

- waka absolutely loves nipple piercings and thinks they look especially hot on smaller tits, encourages you to get them pierced and if you already have yours done he won't be able to stop sucking on them

- his oral fixation is showing

- speaking of oral fixation, eating you out is his favourite pastime — he loves sucking your clit into his mouth as he fondles your tits, and will absolutely groan into your pussy if you arch your chest into his palms

- overall he's super horny for you (who can blame him though <3)

takeomi

: ̗̀➛ sfw

- now listen💀 i feel like omi is the kind of guy to unintentionally give you those backhanded type of compliments if you express insecurity about your chest size

- “they're not small, they're perfect.”

- “it's fine, i'm more of an ass guy anyway.”

- the thing is he genuinely means well and thinks you’re perfect the way you are — he just has a hard time showing it and doesn't realise what he says could potentially rub you the wrong way

- despite having a way with words i still think he'd be kinda hopeless at first if his partner opened up to him about their insecurities

- he's trying his best </3

- i feel like since omi struggles to express his feelings he doesn't openly tell you he loves you very often — however you once overheard him softly whisper how much you meant to him when he thought you were asleep, and to this day he still doesn't know you heard him </3

- he prefers to show affection through buying you gifts and taking you shopping, lets you use his card and tells you to spend as much as you want

- he loves to spoil you

- will carry all your bags for you whilst you're shopping, he can be quite the gentleman since he's got a huge soft spot for you

- he’ll never admit it though <3

- omi will always tell you how pretty you look whenever you try something on, and there have been times where you've had to slap his wandering hands away when he's gotten a little too touchy in public

- he really has no shame ahaha

- if there's an item of clothing that you like but it’s too baggy around the chest area he’ll get it tailored for you so it fits you perfectly — wants you to feel confident in yourself and not have to worry about whether certain clothes will fit you

- in conclusion omi might not be good at showing it outwardly but he loves you way more than you know <3

: ̗̀➛ nsfw

- while omi might not be the best at expressing his feelings with words, he definitely knows how to pound you into the mattress until your thighs are shaking and your pussy is creaming around his cock

- he loves cupping your breasts in his hands whenever he hits it from behind, the feeling of your hardened nipples under his palms drives him fucking insane

- he can be a bit of a sadist so don't be surprised if he starts tugging on them, will absolutely blow your back out if you start whining or squirming

- “you like it when daddy gets rough with these perky tits of yours, yeah? you little slut.”

- loves to degrade you but will never aim it at your insecurities, thinks you look so pretty beneath him and will gladly let you know

- “look at you, pretty body all laid out for me. you're a sexy little thing, aren't ya?”

- going back to omi spoiling you, he loves buying you lingerie and you're always ending up with new sets — don't try anything on in front of him though because he won't be able to resist you <3

- one time omi asked you if he could fuck your tits, you were a little reluctant to try as you were worried you wouldn't be able to satisfy him — it ended up with him just grinding on your chest, but he came unbelievably fast and shot his load all over you

- from then on he realised how much he liked cumming on your breasts, and will now cum on them at every opportunity

- whenever you suck him off omi always asks if he can blow his load on your tits — tells you how fucking hot they look covered in his cum, nipples hardened and goosebumps across your skin

- has snapped a picture of your cum covered tits (with your consent, of course) and jerks off to it regularly

- it's no surprise that omi smokes after sex — he’ll have a cigarette in one hand and one of your breasts in the other <3

keizo

: ̗̀➛ sfw

- if you ever tell benkei that you're self conscious about your body he’ll engulf you in a big bear hug

- i just know he gives the best hugs <3

- he's a great listener and he'll always be there for you if you ever need to rant to him

- whether it's about having a hard time feeling feminine enough, struggling to find bras that fit or having been made fun of for the way your body looks — benkei will always sympathise with you even if he can't personally relate to what you're going through

- he always seems to know what to say to make you feel better and gives you great advice

- reminds you that you're beautiful no matter what and other people’s comments shouldn’t determine the way you feel about yourself

- benkei tells you that if anyone makes negative remarks about your appearance then that says way more about them than it does about you

- he says that people who are unhappy with themselves often project their insecurities onto other people — even if it's hard not to let their words get to you, you shouldn't take it personally

- he's very mature and level headed, me thinks

- might make a lighthearted joke that his chest is big enough for the both of you, just to see you smile <3

- benkei wants to help build your confidence, he reminds you that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and that you don't need to look a certain way to be attractive

- he hates whenever you talk down on yourself or make self deprecating jokes about your appearance — will silence you with a kiss you before sternly telling you not to talk about yourself like that

- has told you that he loves your chest because whenever he hugs you it just means he gets to be closer to your heart

- he's secretly a big softy <3

: ̗̀➛ nsfw

- i think benkei has a size kink, and the way your small breasts are swallowed under his huge palms honestly does something to him

- at first you were worried he would think there was nothing to grab, since his hands were so much larger in comparison — however benkei was quick to reassure you, telling you how much he loved them and how sexy you were

- it drives him crazy how sensitive your tits are and how he can get you worked up from just a few touches, will tease the hell out of you for it

- “look at you, already such a mess for me. what's got ya so worked up, hmm?”

- if you're feeling insecure benkei will happily fuck you in front of a mirror just so you can see how gorgeous you are — constant praises will fall from his lips as he pounds his thick cock into you <3

- “see that? see how pretty you are, darlin’?”

- “keep lookin’ at your perfect little body, baby. that's it, that's my good girl.”

- benkei loves watching you grow in confidence over time as you become more comfortable with your body — goes absolutely feral when you tease him by sending pictures of your exposed tits while he's at work

- has to excuse himself to the bathroom just so he can jack off to you <3

- isn't shy about sending you photos back to show you what you're doing to him — it's usually one of the huge tent in his boxers with a noticeable damp patch on the fabric or (your favourite) his hardened length fully exposed and drooling with precum

- benkei loves showering with you, the sight of the water running over your small breasts makes blood rush to his cock

- has fucked you in the shower countless times, picking your body up with ease and pinning you against the wall as he rocks his hips into yours

- loves to help you wash afterwards, lathering soap along your soft skin and caressing every inch of your perfect body <3

please do not translate, repost, or share my writing on any other platforms eg. tiktok

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #shinichiro sano #shinichiro x reader #shinichiro x you #wakasa imaushi #wakasa x reader #wakasa x you #takeomi akashi #takeomi x reader #takeomi x you #keizo arashi #keizo x reader #keizo x you #benkei x reader #benkei x you #✩444.writings #✩444.headcanons

[catherinnn]

"Slut!" (Bad Omens part II)

Summary: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar!reader. Despite what happened with Rudy, you and Eddie break up again to protect the band. Eddie moves onto a new relationship, but history repeats itself, causing strain within the group. Frustrated with the pattern, your bandmates threaten the future of the band. To add insult to injury, you're labeled as the "slut", with all blame directed your way —or so it’s claimed. Warnings: cheating, slut-shaming, a little smutty, a little angsty, a little fluffy, jealousy, mentions of Steddie x reader, y/n is used like two times sorry, I use a taylor song as if it’s corroded coffin’s so imagine it like rock, fighting, drinking, language Words: 7.1k a/n: please know that eddie is cheating on his girlfriend here, and it’s a happy ending for reader and eds, so if you don’t like that don’t read it. Also, this is like my fifth fic where there’s cheating I don’t know how to defend myself here, I promise I completely hate this irl, it’s just hot to write :)

part I: Bad Omens

Megan.

Eddie’s new girl.

Or as the headlines say: Eddie Munson’s New Hot Model Girlfriend.

Yes, she’s a model! Not a Victoria’s Secret model, thank God, that would be just what you needed to kill yourself.

She’s not actually “new” anymore, it has been a year already. Even a whole album in the middle, “kiss”. The one where you had to kiss Eddie on the mouth for the cover of it, that’s what everybody seems to care about anyway.

That’s not actually the cover though, it’s just Eddie sat on a chair covered in lipstick stains all over his face, neck and shirt. Then you with Gareth and Jeff behind him, each of you with a different lipstick color: you with red, Jeff with maroon, and Gareth with purple. Eddie has kisses of all those three colors all over him, but the one on the lips was red.

Anyway, they started dating over a year now. It was literal hell for you, watching her wait for him after shows in the backstage and once you go back there after finishing, watching her jump on him to congratulate him, watching them kiss, watching them dance at parties, her sitting on his lap all the time, listening to his god-awful comments or jokes with double meaning about what they did last night. But it was nothing, you two were just bandmates, best friends, he was to you just like what Gareth or Jeff were to you, the brothers you never had, right?

Only you’ve never kissed Gareth, nor Jeff. But you did kiss Eddie before, you’ve had sex with him, for God’s sake!

But you two are just friends, all the flirting is just for show. Or that’s what Eddie keeps telling Megan.

You’ve never had a friendship where you got mad at them for making out with their own girlfriend in front of you, and them actually saying sorry. But that actually happened between you and Eddie, he even dropped to his knees asking for you to forgive him, not having to give it a double thought as for why you were so jealous over her. You both knew. You just couldn’t do anything about it. That would put the band in too much danger, and the band came first, always.

But thanks to that little jealousy scene Eddie had to call Steve, who had told you he lost his job recently and was trying to figure out what to do with his life next, he was in no rush though, his family was filthy rich, so he could take all the time he needed. You had the amazing idea to invite him over for the rest of the tour, sort of like a little groupie of yours. You’ve had your short history with Steve the tour before this one, and also a shorter history involving you, Steve and Eddie, but that was before he got his own girlfriend.

Steve stayed touring with you guys all over Europe, but as you got back to the United States, Steve decided it was time to go back to his own life. You were sad obviously, understanding him but missing him nonetheless, it wasn’t like you two were much of a serious couple, again he was there as a groupie of the band’s lead singer. But he helped a lot as a distraction to forget about Eddie and Megan. And he obviously became someone important for whom you cared a lot.

Nowadays, it has been a few months since Steve left you guys, you were touring North America now. Megan couldn’t always be with you, she had to go back to LA for time to time to keep modelling, but she always flew to wherever you guys were to keep seeing Eddie.

She wasn’t with you guys currently, you were in New York having sold out two consecutive weekends, six nights in total that you were playing just in NY. You still had two more nights to end weekend one, but you still had a whole other week here. Next stop was LA.

The show was incredible, crowd went crazy as usual, and you all had an amazing night. With all that energy still in you, you guys went to an after party, and drank a lot to celebrate.

“Oh, there you are” Eddie says after he went to get more shots to do with you.

“Here I am”

“Ready for more?” Eddie asks and you nod.

“Always”

“Come here pretty girl” he demands and you both know that with that nickname you’ll do anything he asks for. “Open up” he orders right after holding you closer by the waist—and god you love the feeling of his hands on you. You open your mouth and he pours the liquid that was on the tiny cup, you swallow quickly and cringe at the strong taste of alcohol. “Good girl”

“It’s your turn now” you remind him.

“You wanna do it to me now?” he offers and you nod. He kneels in front of you, since he’s so much taller than you, so you can pour the cup into his mouth easily. You grin at the sight before you, Eddie on his knees, hands on your thighs now and his mouth wide open waiting for you, eyes locked on yours. You start pouring the liquid and he swallows it as if it was water.

“Good boy” you tease him back and he smirks.

He gets up not so smoothly this time, since he kind of stumbles almost falling onto you. He’s way closer now, eyes not leaving yours as if he’s mesmerized. “Hi”

“Hi” you giggle.

“You look really beautiful tonight” he whispers as if he was just thinking out loud.

“Yeah, I do?” you tease but he nods anyway.

“Yeah, and you were amazing tonight, so good, you’re always so good on stage” he keeps whispering.

“Thank you Eddie, you were amazing too,” you tell him, “and just between you and I… you always look so hot performing, playing guitar so I can sing with you…”

“Wanna kiss you” he practically whimpers getting so close to your lips they’re almost touching.

“Do it” you whisper on his mouth. You weren’t thinking, neither of you two was.

So he kisses you, his hand goes up to your hair and pulls you the centimetre closer that was left for your lips to touch. The kiss is passionate, hard, just what you two needed from each other. His hot tongue on your mouth make you sigh and instantly your tongue starts dancing with his. Your hands go to his hair to pull on it and he groans into your mouth. His hands go to your hips and he pulls you closer, you can feel the bulge in his pants against your tummy, and it turns you on even more.

“I need you baby” he says separating for a second just to keep kissing you.

“Need you too Eds” you whimper.

“Fuck-“ he takes a big breath an turns back to you. “Let’s go back to the hotel, please?”

You nod without even thinking twice about it.

“There’s still a few paps outside” he warns you, “ you go out first, I’ll be right behind you, we don’t want them to see this, right?” he signals his crotch and a chuckle escapes from your lips. You give him a good last kiss —well, for now at least— and you go outside, walk right into the car waiting for you, ignoring all the cameras and flashes that were also waiting for any of you to walk out of the bar. Eddie gets in after you and he wastes no time to attack your neck right after he closes the door.

“Back to the hotel” you tell the driver between giggles and he starts the car acting as if you two aren’t almost dry humping in the backseat.

The drive to the hotel passes by with moans and sighs between both of you, lots of making out and resisting the need to rip each other’s clothes off right then and there.

When the driver stops the car, Eddie grabs the first bill he finds in his wallet making sure it’s a good tip as a thank you for his professionalism. Thank God all the people that worked for you had to sing an NDA to get the job, otherwise your publicist would be ripping his hair out tomorrow.

There weren’t any paparazzi at the hotel thankfully, so you can get in and walk to the elevator in peace.

You press the bottom to your floor and the doors close as you feel Eddie pressing himself on your ass, you laugh and go back to kissing him.

When the doors open again you stumble until you get to the first room you see. Eddie’s room finally.

He closes the door by pushing you against it. His lips ghost over yours but he’s not yet closing the distance, grabbing you by the neck so you can’t kiss him. He gets his tongue out a little and you can feel the warmth over your mouth, but not the actual skin.

“Eddie” you whimper and he laughs at you.

“You’re so hot baby” he starts, “gonna let me fuck you, huh?”

He teases you but you nod nonetheless.

“You don’t know how much I missed kissing this pretty mouth of yours,” he stops for a second to give you a wet kiss, “had to hold myself back to not touch you all the time, not to feel you up in every little outfit you wear every night… but I missed this so much baby”

“Missed this too Eddie, please do something” you whimper again feeling so impatient for him. It’s pathetic how just a little fore play at the bar and in the car made you so dumb for him already. But then again, you haven’t had him in more than a year.

The night went on with lots more of teasing and need for each other. You filled the room with both of your moans and whispers claiming how much you missed each other and how glad you are to feel each other again. Not much thinking straight, just acting, doing what you waited so much to be able to do again.

And it was so good, you two always work so good together. The night ended late, after long rounds finally realising the need for each other where you were no longer drunk on the alcohol, but drunk on each other’s bodies and the love you have for one another. “I missed you”, “I love you” and “I need you” were the phrases you both kept repeating all night long. Not thinking of the consequences or what you’d do tomorrow, you just let go.

After what could be described as the perfect night because after sex you both went to sleep holding each other to then dream of each other, your morning started as the complete opposite. You were woken up by several knocks on the door.

“Eddie? Are you there, man?” you can hear the voice of Gareth making him guilty for the knocks that woke you up. You can also hear Eddie groan behind you, feeling his hold on your waist tighten to show he didn’t want to wake up yet, he wanted to stay like this with you for a few more hours—and so did you.

But apparently you weren’t the only one who heard Eddie because Gareth talks again, “Dude, is Y/n there with you? She’s not in her in her room”

“Yes!” Eddie shouts wishing that was all he needed to know so he could just fuck off and let you two sleep a little more.

“Okay good, we have to get down now, Rafe’s waiting for us to have breakfast and talk a little more about the new album or something” he informs you.

You both groan and complain a little, but then again, you’re used to this; being on tour does not equal having enough sleep.

“We’ll be there in a sec!” you inform Gareth so he can get going.

“Let’s keep sleeping” Eddie offers without even opening his eyes yet.

“No Eds, then they would just come to get us again, but this time angrier” you tell him.

“Fuck, fine” he sits up now, opens his eyes slowly to find you putting one of his shirts on. “Morning” he smirks and he feels his cock twitch at the sight of you with only his shirt on and nothing else, eyeing the glimpse of your ass cheeks showing under his shirt, also remembering what you have —finally— done last night.

You find your underwear but decide against putting them on again, they’re not in the best state after last night.

“Morning Munson” you say laughing at his state; his hair a complete mess, can barely open his eyes and his boxers do barely any work to hide his semi. “Come on, get dressed. I’ll go back to my room so I can find some new clothes”

“M’kay, but keep my shirt on, at least for breakfast” he requests.

“Fine, meet me in the hallway so we can go down”

“Yes baby”

You grab the rest of your clothes and check that nobody is the hall before getting out and quickly getting into your room.

While you get another pair of underwear and some jeans to put on, you start thinking about how calmed Eddie was this morning, you were slightly scared that he would wake up finding you naked and remember last night only to start freaking out regretting everything. But this only meant he meant everything he did and said last night, and you were glad.

You’ll figure out what happens with you two later today, but you needed to maintain calmed.

You met Eddie in the hall after getting dressed and you go to the elevator so you can get down to the dining room with the rest.

Little did you know that when you got there and walked to the table with rest of the band and your manager, a big fight would erupt.

Because just as you two sat down in front of the boys, Jeff started losing it.

“Uhh, hi?” his tone was angry.

“Morning” Eddie responds as if nothing.

“What did you two do last night?” he asked in between his teeth.

And with that, Eddie catches on too, you two look up at him with a guilty look on your face, neither answers his question and that all he needed to know.

“I cannot believe you two, you did this again?! Eddie, you have a girlfriend!” Jeff lets his anger out. “How the fuck can you be so calmed, coming down here covered in hickeys and you wearing his shirt?!”

“Jeff-“ Eddie started but he interrupts him.

“No, don’t Jeff me! What were you thinking?! What happens now, huh?! What the fuck is the plan?!”

“There is no plan” you say quietly knowing his response will be more screaming.

“Of course there’s no plan! You just act without even caring what happens next! What happens to the band now? Will you two just keep risking everything without a care in the world?! Need I remind you how your relationship with Rudy ended? That’s right, because you cheated on him with Eddie! And now you do the same with your girlfriend?! What the fuck is wrong with you two?!” He switches among talking directly to you, Eddie and both of you at the same time. You two catch up on it though, you both know what you did and the questions Jeff was asking were the same you two were trying to quiet down inside your heads.

Eddie is looking at him with an angry expression, as if he was ordering him to shut the fuck up. You, on the other hand weren’t looking at anyone, eyes locked somewhere down on the table, guilty expression on your face.

“I’m sorry Rafe, but if they don’t care about the band then neither do I” he finishes getting up and walking out.

The table now is even more uncomfortable, complete silence, no one knowing what to say next. Rafe sighs looking down, thinking hard but not saying anything. Gareth is looking at everybody quietly, he didn’t know what to do or if it was his place to say anything, so he decided to stay silent. Eddie was looking at you worried, you were still looking down somewhere at the table holding the tears.

Finally, after a few seconds, you decide to get up to leave too because you realize you won’t be able to hold back the tears much longer. “Not hungry anymore” your voice comes out week and shaky, letting the boys know how you feel, you slowly walk out of there too, going back to your room.

“Eddie,” Rafe is the next one to break the silence, “before I decide anything here, you and her should talk.” Eddie nods. “I knew this would happen eventually… you two clearly love each other and I need you to know that that’s not wrong, the band can still work but we need to be smart about how to handle this. I was just wishing you two wouldn’t do anything while being in a relationship with someone else… again”

“I know, I’m sorry” Eddie says and he decides to give you some more time before going up to talk. The three man have breakfast in silence, at least more calmed now after Rafe’s words.

What if all I need is you? –

Adorned with smoke on my clothes

Lovelorn and nobody knows

Love thorns all over this rose –

If I'm gonna be drunk

Might as well be drunk in love –

We'll pay the price, I guess

You stare at the words you just wrote on the little notebook. Instead of crying and overthinking everything, you stopped and decided to write the intense feelings inside of you, not caring if they made sense yet, not caring if they will ever end up in an actual song since how the band’s looking right now. Writing always helped you, it was like organizing your thoughts, organizing your head and your heart.

You get out of your head when you hear a soft knock on the door. “Baby, it’s me” you calm down when you recognize Eddie’s voice and you get up to open the door.

“I brought some food for you, you should eat something” Eddie softly tells you and you think you can feel your heart jumping, holding the need to hug him.

“Thank you baby” you think it’s either funny or dangerous how you two keep calling each other these kind of nicknames when everything is going to shit and it’s all your fault. It feels as if you’re having a warm cup of tea reading a nice book completely ignoring the hurricane that’s coming right behind you to destroy everything.

Eddie gets in and sits on the bed with you while you sip on your coffee realizing he prepared it just like you like it: more milk than coffee and four spoons of sugar. Sweet just like you is what Eddie thinks.

He finds the notebook and opens the page that was marked. He knew this was the notebook you wrote song lyrics on, so he knew he could open it without the fear of looking at something more private.

He read the lyrics and immediately a beat came to his head, he started humming it for you. It was slow and sweet and it fit the song perfectly. You were amazed at how he could just read your mind when you wrote songs. You just got each other when it comes to music.

“Sweetheart, don’t want you to be scared or nervous but we should talk” he almost whispers at how softly he’s talking to you. You nod understanding. ”Don’t want you to think of Jeff or the band for just a second, we should figure us up first”

“Eddie, what I feel for you is love. I’m completely in love with you, for years now. We both know this and it hurts so much to see you with her-“

“I don’t love her, you know that right?” he makes sure you know and you nod again. He knows the feeling though, it was how he felt with Rudy and then with Steve. It wasn’t simply jealousy, it wasn’t something dumb and possessive. It was the love you have to pretend you don’t feel for each other burning inside like a fucking mansion flaming to the bone. But you had to act as if it was nothing, as if you are just bandmates, best of friends.

Before you can start saying anything, you feel the tears building up again. He notices so he does the talking.

“Rafe said he knew this would happen eventually, we’ve always been in love sweetheart, it was bound to happen. He said the band can still work and I believe that too” he starts. “Baby, we didn’t want to be together in fear of risking the band’s future. It’s been years of being in love but not doing anything about it, and the love never went away. We’ve had big fights, we fucking dated other people but we still can’t get over each other. I think the band’s is in more danger if we keep this up, if we keep trying to just be friends than if we finally let go and let ourselves be in love”

Tears were already free running down your face. You nod at Eddie’s words. “I know; I think the same”

 A few seconds pass where you keep looking at each other with soft smiles tugging at your faces, you both agree on what you needed to do, but could you finally do it?

“So we can be together? Finally?” his voice brakes on the last word and it make you cry harder. You get closer to him, sitting on him so you could give him a big hug, one that shows all the love and need you have for one another. Hugging him around his neck and legs around his waist, face hidden on his neck and he does the same, with his hands around your waist and face on your neck. Impossibly closer.

After some minutes like that, he talks again.

“I have to break up with Megan”

“Yeah”

“I still won’t see her for another week, when we finish New York and flight to LA”

“I think you should maybe call her, so she’s not surprised with the news. I think it would be even worse if you don’t say anything and the second you see her again stun her with the news that you’re breaking up” you explain.

“Ok, yeah I will”

“Eds, I also think it would be smarter of us if… we don’t make it public until we’re both completely sure we’re ready. Think we should be together and be in peace to see how we actually work… I- I’m not saying to keep it a secret because of anything bad, but-“

“I know what you mean, I agree. We should take our time together alone, without the opinions or thoughts of others until we’re ready”

“Exactly”

After finish breakfast, Rafe comes to get you again. Rehearsal starts in twenty minutes.

You change your clothes and put a little make up on, also making sure to cover the hickeys.

When you get down you see the car waiting to take you to rehearsals, but Rafe makes you wait for everyone in the lobby, not getting in the car yet.

Eddie, Gareth and you are waiting for Jeff to come down and for a few seconds you fear he won’t. But the elevator’s doors open and he appears.

“Alright, before we get in the car, you’ll listen to me. We’ll all talk later, the safety of the band comes first and we have to talk about that while we’re all in the right headspace, not while being angry or anything. So as for now, you’ll do the rehearsal for the show you have to give tonight and you’ll forget anything than happened last night or this morning. Only focusing on tonight, you’ve been doing this for years now and you know how to be professionals” he explains. “Now get in the car and don’t worry about anything that is not the show for now, please”

You all nod in agreement and then get in the car.

Once you get there, you start rehearsing the songs and the dialogs, the times between each song, and set list that you already knew by heart since you’ve been doing this show for months now.

When you finish you go backstage and order food for lunch.

Eddie and you come to the realisation that it’s time to talk to Gareth and Jeff now.

All four of you are already together, each in their own head, not exchanging a word. Eddie looks at you and nods, it’s time.

“Guys, can we talk?” you tell them ignoring the knot in your stomach from how nervous you are. Eddie gets up and stands next to you, Gareth and Jeff get closer, paying attention to you now. Jeff seems pissed yet, like he clearly didn’t want to talk to you two, but he had to be a professional to be in a band, not acting like child.

“Listen, Eddie and I talked this morning after- after everything, and we have decided something, hopefully you agree with us” you start and the knot becomes tighter realizing that is possible they won’t agree… what happens then?

Eddie and you tell the guys what you said this morning. After all the years trying to forget and move on from each other, and the love never went away. The fights and new people you’ve both gone through and it never broke you two apart. If you still loved each other after all of that, there wasn’t something that an actual relationship could do to make you separate. Everything you’ve been doing trying to get over the love and trying to be just friends was risking the band more than any relationship could. All the toxicity of actually seeing each other with someone else and not being able to do or say anything was worse than any fight you could have as actual lovers.

You explained everything to them and now it was their turn to say what they think.

“I’ve had to see you two wanting to kill each other and the people you’re with because of the jealousy. You’ve written songs about that, maybe the 90% of our whole discography is about this, about wanting to be together but not being able to. I think the love you have for each other is stronger than each of you and you should stop being afraid of what could happen to the band if you break up, and actually being fucking happy with each other. I’m sick and tired of the Megans and the Rudys or Steves, and the look on your faces when you have to act as if you’re just friends” Gareth explains. “Just fucking be together finally and pull yourselves and us out of that misery”

Eddie laughs at how Gareth puts it, and you smile.

You turn to look at Jeff and you think you’ve never been this nervous.

He sighs noticing all the eyes on him awaiting. “I’m really happy you can see you belong together. Don’t think that what I said this morning means I don’t love you two and you both being happy. I was just scared of what would happen to the band, because I fucking love making music with you three idiots. I agree with Gare, just fucking get together already and cut the shit”

You all laugh at Jeff’s words.

“So, does that mean the band is still good?” you ask him.

“With no end in sight” he confirms and you feel so relieved. You run to hug him and he hugs you back, the two boys behind you join the group hug and you confirm that the band’s never been better than what is to come.

After lunch you make sure to talk to Rafe too explaining everything. And he agrees on the idea to keep quiet on it for some time. But luckily he’s very supportive of you.

It’s Eddie time to call Megan now, and it’s safe to say he’s not really looking forward to it.

He dials her number and after a few tones, she picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Meg"

"Eddie, hi! Wasn't expecting your call so soon"

"Yeah, I know, but I felt like I should. Sorry for not calling after the show last night"

"No worries. How'd it go?"

"It was awesome. The crowd here is unreal. I’m looking forward to play again tonight"

"That's great! Did you go out after or stayed in?"

"W-we did go out, yeah"

"Oh, cool"

"Listen, Megan, there's something I need to talk to you about" he begins, not being able to keep the small talk any longer.

"Okay, sure" she responds, her tone growing serious as she waits for him to continue.

"When we get back to LA next week, I think... I think we really need to have a… conversation" he says, cringing at his choice of his words.

"...Okay. Is everything okay, Eddie?" Is it… It’s not good, is it?” she asks in a serious tone. Eddie takes a few seconds to answer again.

“…No… it’s not. I don’t want you to overthink anything, but I thought it would just be cruel to… I don’t know, take you by surprise with it when I come back”

Though Eddie can't see her, Megan nods, nervously biting her lip. They both understand the unspoken implications behind "we need to talk," yet they can’t voice it already.

She's somewhat grateful he called to give her a heads-up, as painful as it is. Compared to the other guys she's dated, who might have dumped her over the phone or pretended everything was fine until they met in person, all in all, Eddie's approach feels more considerate.

"I'm serious, Meg. I don’t want you overthinking it” he insists

"Okay, I won't" she assures him. "See you, Eddie"

"Yeah... Bye, Meg" he says softly before they hang up.

He goes back to the guys with an expression you can’t really read.

“How did it go?” you ask.

“As good as it could, I guess. It was awkward and we didn’t really know what to say, I was trying not to say much so we can actually talk when I see her, but I didn’t want her overthinking why I’m breaking up with her… I don’t know, she didn’t say much either, there was a lot of silence”

“Yeah well, I’m guessing you’re not really someone she wants to talk to right now” Jeff says and Eddie nods.

“You ok?” you get closer to him; you didn’t like seeing him like this. A smile forms on his face, softening his features when he sees you worrying over him.

“I’m fine baby” he assures you but you hug him nonetheless, and he rests on the couch so you can cuddle.

The week flies by perfectly for both of you. New York is always a favorite, feels even more magical with Eddie by your side at all times. You seize every spare moment to soak up the city's vibes, wandering its streets hand in hand, delighting in each other's company.

If someone who didn’t know you two at all witnessed how you are privately, they would think you’re in a relationship of many many years. You’re always all over each other, touching in any way possible; you’re walking around the city and he has his arm around your waist, holding your hand or with his hand inside your pocket; you’re having dinner or driving somewhere and he has a hand on your thigh; you’re hanging out with the boys and you’re cuddling; you’re waiting for the elevator and you’re hugging him by his waist. Not to mention that you’ve booked two separate rooms but you’re only using one, since you’re sleeping together every night; and well, let’s just say that you’ve spend the week making up the lost time in the bedroom as well. Or as Gareth so kindly puts it: getting at it like rabbits.

But after you finish the three remaining shows on Ney York, it was time for LA, and you knew Eddie was a bit nervous about his overdue conversation with Megan, who technically was still his girlfriend.

The flight to Los Angeles passed by quickly since you slept the whole journey.

You had lunch and then rehearsal at the venue. In your way to the backstage one of the security guys tells Eddie that his girlfriend has arrived and is waiting for him.

“Okay, it’s time now… wish me luck” he says before heading to the room the security guy signalled.

He enters the room and sees Megan sat on one of the chairs.

“Hey” he greets her.

“Hi, how are you? How was the flight?”

“Fine, I just slept through it”

“Oh good, I heard a little of the rehearsal, you guys sound amazing”

“Thanks yeah, we changed the set list a bit so it’s not the exact same all the time” he explains giving in the small talk.

“Sounds good”

“How’s work?” he intends to ask her but she doesn’t answer his question.

“Eddie, can we just talk please?”

“Yeah, sorry. I um- I needed to talk to you because I have… fucked up a little” he finally says.

“What happened?” she asks but Eddie takes a few seconds to respond. Opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times until he says it. She has probably been wondering what actually happened ever since he called her.

“I cheated on you”

She nods her head, not looking at him now, eyes locked somewhere on the floor.

“With?” she asks and Eddie once again waits a few seconds until he tells her your name. She nods again, a sinister smile forming on her face.

“Is it funny?” he asks her now, frown forming on his face to show his confusion.

“No, just should’ve seen it coming” she says.

“I’m sorry”

“I bet you are. When did it happen?”

“Night before I called you” he can’t even look at her.

“So this whole week you spend it fucking her, didn’t you?”

“Meg…”

“No, what happened to ‘it´s all just for show’? All that flirting was actually real?” she’s accusing him but with a calmed voice that’s only freaking him out more.

“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t- I don’t even know what else to say. I shouldn’t have lied to you, I shouldn’t have even put you in the middle of all this. I’m really sorry” he says sincerely.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have, but you did. Just like you shouldn’t have fucked her while you we were still together!” she waits for him to say something but he stays quiet. “Well, say something!”

“What? What else do you want me to say? Want me to tell you how it happened?!” he asks sarcastically but she actually says yes.

“Alright, yeah. Fucking tell me”

“No, I’m not gonna-“

“Say it!” she orders and he knows she not going to let it go, so he sighs and starts talking.

“After the second night we all went out to the after party. Started drinking with her, a lot. Started… flirting with her, a lot. Then I kissed her. And then we both went back to the hotel and slept together”

“Okay so, you slept with her because you were drunk, but then you called me basically telling me we were braking up. So you didn’t regret it” she accuses him.

“What? If I had regretted it would you have forgiven me?” he asks her angrily.

“No, I wouldn’t have. But clearly it didn’t take a lot of convincing from her part to dump me and run to her!”

“Don’t- just be angry at me, not at her” he tells her and she can’t believe those words actually came out of his mouth.

“You’ve been in love with her all throughout our relationship, haven’t you?!” she realizes. And Eddie is left with no other choice than just nod his head in affirmation, she’s right and she caught him. She laughs.

“Okay… I’m gonna leave now, can’t really keep looking at you” she decides. She takes her jacket and before opening the door she speaks again. “Thanks for the complete waste of time that this relationship was”

Eddie thinks he could say the same to her, but obviously doesn’t say. He knows it’s all his fault.

While Eddie and Megan talked, the three of you waited in another room. More people of the staff started to arrive already, it was still a few hours until show time, but they needed to get everything set up.

At one point, one of the woman of the dressing department came up to you saying it was time to pick tonight’s outfit. You all followed her into the hall and she showed you different options.

Gareth and Jeff chose their clothes first, she left Eddie for later since he wasn’t here yet. She started showing you some dresses, some tops with pants or skirts. And as you evaluated the different options, you heard someone opening a door and storming out. When you lift your gaze to see who it was you’re met with an angry Megan and Eddie walking out behind her. She meets your gaze and she smiles, but it was not a ‘nice to see you’ smile at all.

“Look who it is! Are you picking the outfit for tonight, let’s see what would Eddie like the most?” she says sarcastically.

“Megan, leave her alone!” Eddie warns her, but she doesn’t stop there.

“Did you have fun fucking my boyfriend behind my back? I bet you really did, didn’t you?” she accuses you. “You’re such a fucking slut just begging for his attention”

You wanted to say something but words didn’t come out. You just froze looking at her offended.

“Alright, that’s enough. Everybody saw you little show, now leave!” Eddie gets in the middle of you two. But that doesn’t stop her either.

“You know she only did this so you’d look at her instead of me, right? But as soon as I leave she’s gonna dump you again, ‘cause that’s all she wants; your attention on her, but she doesn’t want you. She’s just a bratty slut only wanting the toy when someone else has it” she keeps accusing you, you’re frozen on the spot, not being able to walk out or say anything back at her.

“James!” Eddie calls the security guy while keeping Megan off of you. “JAMES!”

As soon as James gets there he asks Megan to leave the stadium. And don’t get me wrong, she is petty, but no so petty to have to be carried away by security, so she just laughs one more time at the situation and walks away to where James guides her. Not without insulting you once more screaming “bye slut” and then walking away.

—

“Flamingo pink, Sunrise Boulevard. Clink, clink. Being this young is art” you sing into the microphone, the crowd erupting into screams as they recognize the song. It's the opening night of the new tour, result of the hard work that you’ve put into the latest album. Touring remains your favorite part of this job. Yours and the whole band’s as well.

 “Got lovestruck, went straight to my head, got lovesick, all over my bed, love to think you'll never forget handprints in wet cement. Adorned with smoke on my clothes, lovelorn and nobody knows, love thorns all over this rose. I'll pay the price, you won't” the pre-chorus begins, Eddie’s guitar guiding you on the times of the song, feeling the rhythm and energy coursing through the venue.

“But if I’m all dressed up they might as well be looking at us, and if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once, and if I'm gonna be drunk I might as well be drunk in love” you playfully add a little embodying the lyrics' sentiment.

“Everyone wants him, that was my crime, the wrong place at the right time, and I break down, then he's pulling me in. In a world of boys, he's a gentleman” The chorus rolls in, and you can't help but revel in the lyrics, especially the line you know Eddie adores. You sing with a smile, amused by Eddie's attempt to hide his giddiness.

“This is luxury. You're not saying you're in love with me. But you're going to. Half awake, taking your chance it's a big mistake, I said ‘It might blow up in your pretty face’ I'm not saying ‘do it anyway’ but you're going to” Transitioning into the bridge, the words flow effortlessly. Singing this song feels like flirting with Eddie live in front of the big crowd. But then again, that’s just another Tuesday at work for you, and you’re far from complaining.

Eddie remains as your loyal supporter, amazed by the way you’ve turned a horrible experience with his ex into a beautiful piece of art. He will forever be your number one fan.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #rockstar! eddie munson x reader #rockstar!eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson series #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #rockstar!eddie x reader #rockstar!eddie munson x rockstar!reader

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

I Would Tell Them If I Could, But I Can't

Words: 1823

Warnings: angst, reference to reader and Spencer having previous relationship, probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

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Reader and Spencer had a relationship for about 2 years before they broke up and then they just kinda slept with one another after bad cases which lead to the reader getting pregnant. They kinda have a co-parenting lifestyle where reader is the "lead" parent and Spencer get's child (Avery) on weekends and some weekday

Only Hotch and Strauss and JJ and Emily know (Hotch because he's her boss, Strauss because she's Hotch's boss, JJ because she's Spencer best friend, and Emily because she's reader's best friend)

Takes place during JJ and Will's wedding/the end of Hit/Run (Yes, I am aware that Emily also left in this episode, it basically was a double whammy. Except the whole team knew about Emily but not about reader)

I literally forgot about this...it's been sitting in my drafts for about 1-2 weeks lol

This was originally written for my OC Abby (which will be posted on my other account @imnotobsessedwfictionalchracters later)

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

Y/N stared at her friends laughing and dancing around in Rossi’s backyard. She watched as Avery chased Henry and Jack around with a stick. She watched as everyone was happy. And she could tell that they were truly happy. Happier than they had been since Emily’s “death”. She wanted to keep it that way, but she knew that soon it would change. They go into the office on Monday and see her desk cleared. She placed the papers on Hotch’s desk yesterday morning. Before they were called down to the bank. She had no idea if he had seen them. But it didn’t matter. She was changing to work with the CIA. It was a better job. Better hours. Not much of a better pay...but she would get to be home for Avery more.

So she felt like this was a good goodbye. Everyone smiling and happy for JJ and Will. No one had to know about her resignation. Not yet. She knew it was cruel, leaving that down to Hotch to tell them. But she thinks it would be easier for her. She already knew that she wouldn’t be able to handle Penny’s crying. The only person who knew was Spencer. And him trying to convince her to stay was hard enough. She knew that if she had everyone trying, she would give in and let them convince her to stay.

“Does anyone know?” She jumped slightly at her Unit Chief's voice. He let out a small chuckle, “Sorry, I should have announced myself. I know you aren’t in the space to not be startled by someone coming up beside you.”

“It’s fine Hotch.” She blew out a bit of air, “And except for you and Strauss, it’s Spencer.” She crossed her arms, “Figured I had to tell him since he’s taking Avery this weekend.”

“Oh yeah? Where is he taking her?”

She laughed, “God I wish I knew. He’s keeping it a secret.”

“So, the CIA?”

She nodded, “They’ve been trying to get me since before that talk you had with us a few months ago.” She looked at him, “About the budget cuts. I was going to talk to you about it that day, but you walked out so fast I never had the time. And then we just kept getting cases so I never had the time to breach the subject with you.”

He nodded, “So what made you decide to take it?”

She looked back at everyone, “Something JJ had said about her time at the Pentagon and something Strauss told me.”

“Which was?”

“JJ told me that while she missed us, she would never deny how happy it made her to get to see Henry more. And to not have to worry about being pulled out and away from him randomly. More stable hours. All of it.” She pushed some hair out of her face, “I talked to who would be my boss to see if that would be possible. They offered me a different position. One I could only get with Strauss’s permission. That was how she found out and I started on the papers.”

“And what did Strauss say?”

“To think of Avery. To think of what would be better for her. And I did. The job at the CIA provides more stability. It’s more of an executive role. I could be home at a more reasonable time. And it’s a closer drive than it is to Quantico. Plus, it is a promotion.” She laughed, “I actually was in disbelief of Strauss convincing me to take it.”

Hotch laughed with her, “That is a strange feat.” He sighed, “So today was your last day.” She nodded, “And you’re leaving the responsibility to tell the team to me, aren’t you?”

She sighed, “It’s not like it’s what I want to do, but it’s easier for me. I don’t think I could handle Penny’s crying.”

He nodded, “You know you’ll just have her showing up at your apartment in tears, correct?”

“Yes, but she’ll also show up with a container of cookies. So it’s more of a win than a loss.”

“I can’t deny that one.” Hotch turned to face her, “It’s been a pleasure to work with you these past 4 years. And if you ever wish to return, the BAU will be happy to have you back.”

She smiled at him, for once she wasn’t surprised to see a smile on his face. If there was one thing Y/N had to say about Hotch, it was that he could be predictable. And she knew that he was going for a handshake, the more professional option, but she wrapped her arms around him. While he could be a pain in her ass sometimes, she would never deny that he knew when she needed a break and forced her to take it. And she wouldn’t deny that sometimes she saw him more as a father than a boss, which she knew was what he wanted sometimes.

“Thank you for not getting upset and trying to convince me to stay, Hotch.”

“If I know anything, Y/N, it’s that sometimes you need to make the choice that would be better for your kid. It may not always be the easiest, but it’s the best.” He pulled away, “I’m going to head back to the party before anyone becomes too suspicious of us talking.”

She laughed, “They are profilers afterall, I think they got suspicious the second you smiled.”

He laughed as he walked away, “That much is true.”

And as he walked away, she saw Spencer was walking towards her with Avery on his hip. She gave them a soft smile as they neared.

“Someone here is getting tired.”

“Aw,” She took Avery from Spencer’s arms, “Is my little girl tired.” Avery nodded softly, “Okay, it is getting late. We’ll soon.” Avery nodded again and laid her head on Y/N's shoulder.

“So, did you tell him?” 

Y/N nodded, “Pretty sure it was reluctantly, but he approved my resignation letter. I start Monday.”

He sighed, “You know that the only reason I didn’t really fight you was because it’ll be better for Avery. Otherwise I would have argued with you. And won.”

She hummed, “Nah, I would definitely have won and not given in. Only Penny can out-argue me and I will accept defeat from.”

He laughed, “That’s understandable. Like, totally and completely understandable.”

“Well, I think that I am going to go on out, join me out front in about 10?”

He nodded, “You gonna get my keys from the bowl?”

She nodded, “Yep, I’ll get them and transfer the stuff to your car.” She sighed, “I’ll go tell everyone bye. And try to avoid promising to see them on Monday.”

He laughed, “That’s gonna be a hard one.”

“Shh,” She hushed me, “Let me dream.”

She followed Spencer down and saw as he went to talk with Emily and Rossi. So she started with Penelope and Derek. Derek saw her walking over to them and threw his signature smile at her. “Hey Pretty Girl, how can we help you?”

“Hey, I’m gonna head out. Avery here is all tired out. So I think I’ll see y’all later.”

Penelope gave her a goofy smile, “Yeaaaah. We’ll see you on Monday!”

Y/N's smile faltered slightly before she kept it up, “Yeah! Totally! See you later.” 

She blew a kiss at Penelope and brought Avery’s sleepy hand to wave at the two as she walked over to Emily and Rossi. She told them the same and soon enough she was walking over to Will and JJ. JJ shot her a happy, but tired smile.

“Hey, you heading out?”

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, Avery is all tuckered out so I’m gonna take her home.”

JJ raised an eyebrow, “You or...?”

Y/N laughed, “He is. But I’m leaving first to be able to switch everything over to his car.”

JJ laughed, “Alright. I’ll see you on Monday?”

Y/N froze for a brief moment. Thought that she should maybe tell her the truth. But she didn’t. She just smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I’ll see you Monday.” She waved at them both, didn’t even try to have Avery wave as the small girl was dead asleep. “Bye JJ. Bye Will. Tell Henry bye for me.”

Henry nodded, “We will.”

Avery walked away from them and then out to the front of the house. She grabbed both hers and Spencer's keys from the bowl on the table and walked out of the house. She walked down to her car and carefully opened it without waking Avery up. She was able to move everything from her car to Spencer’s without waking the small girl on her hip. Just as she was getting Avery ready to place in Spencer’s car, he walked out. 

He gave her a soft smile as he got closer. “Is she asleep?”

Y/N glanced at him as she was buckling Avery in. “Yeah, she fell asleep as I was talking with Emily and Rossi.” She kissed Avery’s temple before carefully shutting the door. “So, when will I learn what you are taking her to do this weekend?”

He hummed, “Never if I have anything to say about it.”

She smirked, “So evil Spencer Reid, oh so evil.” She sighed and leaned against his car door, “Are you really okay with me leaving?”

He crossed his arms, “If I’m going to be perfectly honest? Absolutely not. But I know that it is what’s best. For your mental health and for Avery.” He sighed, “You know that the team is going to be upset that you’re leaving without telling them.”

She nodded, “I know, Spence, I know. But as you said, it’s what’s best for me and for Avery. And besides, Hotch said that if I wanted to rejoin, I always could. So who knows,” She shrugged, “I could end up being JJ and coming back because I miss this all too much.”

He laughed, “Maybe I’ll hope for that.”

She rolled her eyes, “Yeah, maybe.” She said, “I’m gonna go now. I’ll see you later, alright?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

Y/N walked away from Spencer and back to her car. And as she got into the front and started it, she smiled sadly as she listened to “This Year’s Love” by David Gray played through her speakers. As she drove home, she thought about the past nearly 5 years she lived on this team. All of the good and bad things that had happened in the past years. All of the good and bad memories that she had.

She knew she still had more to go through. More to learn. More to live. But she was happy to have lived this life the past years of her life.

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” ― Tim McGraw

#spencer #reid #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal #minds #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #x reader #imagine

[from-izzy]

addressing my health and writing!!

fun fact: i'm rereading this post as careful as i can because i wrote ~90% of this post with my eyes closed!!

hi everyone!

the title of this post seems so serious but also not so serious at the same time...? 😅

anyways! this is just me updating a little bit of my health and how it's been affecting my writing.

on january 31st 2022, my psychologist wrote a letter to my school addressing that he 'has...identified that [I have]...Sensory Processing Disorder' (words quoted by the letter that was sent out). as far as i'm aware, i specifically have sensory modulation disorder.

i'll try to keep this concise and to the point. in terms of my spd in general, four of my five senses are hypersensitive with my top two being visual and hearing.

i recently just found out an important info by quite literally timing myself. i stayed in my room, lights out and in the dark for 20 mins. during that time, i did nothing but just stare at the ceiling (or i don't know, the spider that went past too) and jammed to some music. after, i started to write.

there is small time gap of 14 mins before i felt a twitch in my right eye. there is a small 1 min gap after when i started to get a headache. for me, i knew this before but i was afraid to admit it especially when i love writing so much but it's clear now that i am hypersensitive to lights.

that's why (at least, i personally feel like this) my writing quality has decreased drastically and writing errors are more apparent than ever. i get people to proofread for me but i'm really bad in asking for help so i usually just try to do it myself to the best of my abilities. the way i explain scenes have also been more boring and bland, and i want to tell you that if you think so too, you're most probably right! it frustrates me more than anything.

i'm trying to find ways to counter this or at least make the time gap bigger. i recently found out that writing in the dark, phone brightness down to the lowest helps and i was able to write for about ~40 mins before i started to get a headache. but unfortunately for my sleep hygiene, no technology should be in my room (i even moved my piano out of my room because of this) and so, i am trying to find another way.

another way i found is that closing my eyes works. fun fact: i'm rereading this post as careful as i can because i wrote ~90% of this post with my eyes closed!! yes it works but you can imagine how hard it can be.

if i can be fully honest, it's actually really hard for me to both read and write these days as well because there is no way i can make out the words without any form of light. when the headache strikes, it strikes and walking in a straight line can become difficult sometimes. the reality is that it's hard to write without reading and it sucks that i can't support anyone's work at the moment, especially when they have supported me so much (i'm so sorry to all the writers out there). there is nothing much i can do right now but to remember and learn the stories in my head as references when i write.

i'm still exploring for more ideas but if you have any ideas, do tell! i would love to try them out!

but i'm not going to stop writing! not when i have ideas to write and stories to share! it's just going to be slow and i'm planning to take it in a pace where i can handle. like i've mentioned before, i don't want to release stories that i'm not proud of.

thank you everyone for the support so far! 'double a decade' reached 100+ notes in less than a week! that's so crazy for me, thank you 😭💕

#🎙️ izzy wants to tell you... #sensory processing disorder #sensory processing issues #sensory processing sensitivity #writer stuff #writer things #writer problems #creative writing #writerscommunity #writeblr #writing community #🥹 izzy's ahhhh moments #🤭 a peak into izzy's thoughts

[archaiclumina]

Spell your url ✧˖°.

Spell out your URL using song titles that can describe your muse/OC, then tag as many people as there are letters in your URL!

I did this last year here, but there are always new tunes goin on to the playlist and I am a sucker for a music meme and will do them a million times, as @tacitruin well knows c': ty for the tag my esoteric waif wife ༝༚༝༚ ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

Gonna be a good girl and make this version heavier on the themes and lighter on the memes c': and have kept things mostly to Ren, but some tracks are just tracks I vibe with for both of them, so I've include lyrics and a little explainer about why after each and put a cut after H c:

A: A Model of the Universe - Jóhann Jóhannsson Spotify | YouTube This one's an instrumental which has big Ren vibes for me. I listen to it often when I am writing memory salad drabbles. Just sounds like the right kind of tune for remembering other people's lives, I dunno c':

R: Rule #27; Drunk on Pride - Fish in a Birdcage Spotify | YouTube "Long after they lost their names..." As some folks may know I headcanon Oli and Ren were Nymian sailors in a past life. So there's a lot of thematic lyrics crammed into this song for drabbling that bad end of theirs. Also this band slaps. I have loads of their songs on the playlist c':

C: Control - Halsey Spotify | YouTube "And I tried to hold these secrets inside me, my mind's like a deadly disease..." Just a lot of big ol' bad echo Ren Vibes in this one. She literally knows things she shouldn't and it's 99.79% likely to get her in trouble, you know what I'm saying?

H: Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms Spotify | YouTube "Well tell me do you think it'd be alright, if I could just crash here tonight?" A CalRen ship song if there ever was one. I think it's self-explanatory enough c':

A: A Wolf at the Door - Radiohead Spotify | YouTube "Don't look in the mirror at the face you don't recognize..." "Kicks you in the teeth. Steel toe caps. Takes all your credit cards..."A double-banger here. I often listen to this song when I just want to head movie little scenes of the two of them doing things they probably shouldn't have been doing. (They did a lot of that circa 1574 in Othard according to my drabbles c': )

I: I Do Not Want This - Nine Inch Nails Spotify | YouTube "I have lived so many lives all in my head..." "Bamboo puncturing the skin and nothing comes bleeding out of me..." Another track that I listen to for both blorbettes. It's very vibes for two bitches who've had so many bad ends c':

C: Comics - Caravan Palace Spotify | YouTube "Oh, my pops used to say I'm a trophy..." This song is about someone who could maybe have been a good girl but she got involved in bad things, so it's perfect for Ren really. (Also the refrain has the word murder in it c': ) Side Note: The lyrics of this song available on Spotify and Google are pretty disputed by a lot of Caravan Palace fans, myself included. For example, google and Spotify will tell you this line is 'oh my pops used to say I'm a chumpy' not only is this incorrect, it makes no sense. A lot of fans theorize the album is about a hooker and trophy makes more sense in that case and so that's the version I go with. L: Like You Want To - Kita Alexander Spotify | YouTube "Oh what you wanna be? Why won't you come with me take a piece of this for free?" Another CalRen ship song. Those two are idiots. No, I won't elaborate.

U: Up Around the Bend - Creedence Clear Water Revival Spotify | YouTube "Leave the sinking ship behind..." "You can ponder perpetual motion, fix your mind on a crystal day..." For both blorbettes again, I use this when I want to make a head movie montage of the sort of shenanigans they've gotten up to. It's actually one of the husbo's picks, but I still put it to good use c':

M: Mama's Gun - Glass Animals Spotify | YouTube "Little voices, buzzing poison, backward noise drown everything..." "In the summer silence, I was getting violent..."This song actually features as the soundtrack for one of the aforementioned things they probably shouldn't have been doing in Othard circa 1547. To keep a long story short, someone ended up losing a lot of blood, but they deserved it.

I: I Am Not A Woman, I'm A God - Halsey Spotify | YouTube "Take 'em with me to the grave in a suitcase..." "Maybe I could be a better human with a new name..." This is probs one of my top Oli/Ren theme songs, along with Begin Again by Purity Ring. Like, yeah, I'm a slut for Halsey, but also this just touches on a lot of themes which work for the blorbaes. Keeping secrets, playing god etc.

N: Not Your Kind of People - Garbage Spotify | YouTube "Don't want to be like you, ever in our lives..." Another one of the husbo's picks for the playlist that I end up putting to good use when I want to write scenes between Ren and her "Maternal Progenitor".

A: Arrival in Nara - Alt J Spotify | YouTube "Though I cannot see I can hear, her, smile as she sings..." Ren's memory drabbles are non-visual. She doesn't see anything from other people's memories, but she can hear, smell, taste and feel things from other people's memories. Also, could I ever make a playlist and not put Alt-J on it? No. No I could never.

₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡ Gonna tag these beauties in for some music fun! ｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡ Obvs I am starting with @gatheredfates (Sea, I know you have more tunes for me, don't hold out on me!) and also @eorzeanflowers, @zeloinator, @violet-stormbringer, @ofscorchedearth, @luck-and-larceny, @aethericfist and @starforger As always no pressure if you don't want to do it/have already done it. ｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡ And also if you're not tagged and want to do it, do it and tag me because I love sharing tunes c': ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡

#tag games #oc tunes #aaaa ty for the tag babe <3333 i love you ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

[aconflagrationofmyown]

Your writing is incredible. Each sentence is so carefully crafted and satisfying to read. I was wondering if you could give me any writing advice? In terms of just improving my writing. Structuring sentences are always such a difficult one for me, mainly because I am trying to avoid sounding repetitive and bland with my descriptions. So, any advice would help so much 😭

Ooooh goodness, this is the stuff I adore talking about but the minute I’m asked for advice my brain goes blank and the imposter syndrome chokes me. Nevertheless, it is sweet words like yours that fuel me to keep putting my writing out there and keep improving, y’all are literally watching me try to better myself because I’m aware that the more daring I get, the more technical fallacies I commit. But all that said, I’d love to encourage you and share what’s helped me.

I’ve got to give a load of credit for any wordsmithing talent I may have to my having read two things voraciously growing up: old books and old letters.

I mean start as far back as the 1920’s and then keep going back, nothing too modern as those became a little terse, which was talent in itself but a little unhelpful for the issue of repetition. The letters aspect is helpful because it’s so cool to see how people back then crafted telling average and mundane stories about their days in a way that was super compelling. Most correspondence today by comparison is dry as dust. I really rely on that ingrained way of picking out the meat of a sentence and starting there instead of rambling too much beforehand.

My mode of operating is that I’d rather someone be a little lost in my story than fully bored. So I keep the details minimal, I try to think of a goal with each sentence.

Say this one sentence is detailing a doorframe…let’s keep it to just that after we’ve made sure that’s even needed. The next sentence is detailing how the girl feels after the love of her life just walked out, that sentence may be far more complex but it might also mention the doorframe because when we are overloaded with emotions we sometimes shut down and notice trivial things like the peeling paint on a doorframe. Someone once said to describe war you don’t need paragraph upon paragraph detailing carnage, you just need to mention a child’s little shoe burning in the middle of the street. Sometimes the little things are the sucker punch. Does that make any sense at all?

I try to keep my descriptions of surroundings or individuals concise and often anecdotal- that’s necessary to hold my own attention and so that’s what i apply to my own writing. It’s a whole lot of:

“would this bore me or would this shock me or would I do a double take to make sure this was actually meant or would this resonate with me?”

and work on from there. Some of my sentences have grammatical errors, very often in fact, and that’s something I want to grow in but for now I don’t care as it’s a training wheel to keep the sentence structures more interesting.

So, I guess my chief advice is consider your own favorite books or fics and study them. Find a paragraph or dialogue sentence that really struck you as effective and study the hell out of it. How did they begin it? Was there a comma and portion in the middle to squeeze in more info without burdening the beginning? How many dialogue tags were there? -sometimes a simple “he said” is better than tacking on an emotion or description to everything.

So, studying like that is what I do as an exercise, then writing my own with those structures in mind. So much of it is rhythm of a sort.

All my love and feel free to pop back in if this ramble did nothing for ya or you think of something else you’d like to ask! I love it. Best wishes!

#love notes #on writing

[multifandominfj]

A New Beginning: A Supergirl 6x20 Re-Write

Chapter Eight: The Future In-Laws

With Zor-El and Alura seated on the Sofa, and Lena and J’onn in their respective matching chairs, Lena takes a deep breath before she starts.

“The reason I’m here is actually pretty important. Alura, the last time you saw me was when we both dealt with the Harun- El. After that, Kara and I went through a pretty rocky roller coaster with our friendship. I did some things that still haunt me; how I could treat my best friend the way I did was absolutely revolting. That being said, she also told me why she kept her identity from me for so long. I now see why she did, and I am forever grateful she did.

Since then, our friendship hasn’t been the only thing that has gotten stronger. We…became official at Alex’s wedding. And these past few months have been some of the best memories of my life. I love your daughter so much. I think about her every minute of every day. My favorite part of every day is going home to her because that means I get to hear about her day while I make us dinner. After that, we curl up on the couch, and let her snuggle close to the point where I don’t care if she's crushing me. My magic is nothing compared to her power of being a literal ray of sunshine. She makes me a better person, and she makes me want to continue to improve on myself so that I can hopefully be the best partner for her in the future.

So, having said that…Zor-El, Alura, I come here to ask permission. Permission…to marry your daughter.”

Lena then takes out the small Tiffany’s Box, and shows her future in-laws the custom ring she had designed.

“My…” Zor-El gently touches the ring. “That is quite a magnificent ring. Did you design this?”

“I know it’s not as intricate as some of the architecture I’ve seen here, but…” Lena noticed Alura had yet to say a word. “After getting to know Kara, she doesn’t need anything grand to be happy.”

“Miss Luthor, I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything.” Lena puts this ring away and straightens up her posture.

“I need you to promise me that if Kara seems standoffish towards you, to not to jump to the worst case scenario. Let her open up to you when she’s ready. Especially now that we know of her life. I also want you to promise me to be her rock, even when you fight. From how you just spoke about her…I can tell there is an immense amount of love that you have for my daughter. Lastly…if you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.” Alura smiled. “You’re a part of this family now, and anything that happened in your past you’ve atoned for you don’t have to worry about any longer.” With a warm aura, she wraps Lena in a hug.

“Oh.” Lena was definitely holding her breath through that entire speech, but as soon as she felt Alura embrace her, not only did she exhale, but she returned the hug. “I feel a lot less nervous now.”

“That stoic persona never seems to be turned off.” Zor-El smirked.

“That is wonderful to hear.” Alura chuckled invitingly.

“Now that we have that out of the way, we really should be heading back unfortunately. With Kara, Alex and Kelly at work, who knows what Nia and Brainy are teaching Esme.” J’onn was half joking and half serious; about 60/40.

“Of course.” Alura walks with Lena and J’onn back to his ship. “Miss Luthor…thank you. It means a lot seeing you hold Kara’s life and home so dearly.”

“A long time ago, I wanted to break away from my family. I wanted to be the person to share a home with a Kryptonian. And…I guess I spoke that into fruition.”

“And Kara has the best person in her corner for the rest of her life.” Zor-El, with his arm around his wife, waves them off.

“So…What’s the next step?” J'onn curiously asked before hitting light speed.

“Time to plan the perfect proposal.” Excitement was coursing through Lena’s body as the gas pedal was hit.

SURPRISE! A double chapter feature! Enjoy Chapter Eight as well! 🥰

#supercorp endgame #supergirl cw #supercorp #supergirl #katie mcgrath #lena luthor #kara danvers #melissa benoist #fanfiction #fanfic #all of the fluff and cuteness before the angst #future writers in the writers room #queer writers #my otp #they own my heart #author in the making

[kingdomoftyto]

It's taken 15 years, but it was worth the wait...

All right, I've put it off long enough (and had a very busy/distracting couple of weeks) so it's finally time for my review of TAAAM Act 2

For those who missed it, the second half of Turnabout: an Ace Attorney Musical dropped at the end of last month [here's a link to Act 1 for good measure], and to say I've been listening to it a lot since then would be a gross understatement. My partner and I have literally been greeting each other after work each day with, "Today's biggest earworm was [insert TAAAM song], how about you?" Even if I listen to any other music on my morning commute, by lunchtime I'll inevitably still catch myself mouthing the words to "Lotta Things" or "Tomorrow at Last" or whatever else.

What I'm getting at is that this is not just a cool piece of collaborative fanart. This is a legitimately fantastic musical. Period.

The music is wildly catchy, but remains cohesive with every other song. There are repeated leitmotifs and about a dozen reprises and incredibly satisfying references to music from the games (I was waiting for "Cornered" the entire time and was NOT disappointed when it finally showed up late in Act 2). It feels well-structured, like a real Broadway production. All of the songs from Act 1 that I would have considered the weakest--they now stand fully redeemed by their absolutely phenomenal reprises and callbacks in the second half. Every song in this musical, every line, is there for a reason.

And this careful planning serves to accentuate the stated primary goal of the entire musical: maintaining the character-driven narrative of the games and emphasizing the pathos of the story. On both counts, this team absolutely delivered.

Because not only is this a really cool musical, it's also a fantastic piece of collaborative Ace Attorney fanart. (See what I did there?) I know I already said it in my Act 1 post, but these folks understand these characters and what makes the story so memorable even 20 years later. The emotional beats, the character growth, the relationships between them all, are impeccable. Every character gets their time to shine, and in particular I want to praise their handling of Maya and Gumshoe, who feel like fully realized people and each go through their own personal arcs throughout the course of the story that are just as satisfying and heartwarming as Phoenix's own.

And that's a good segue into the subject of what creative liberties the team DID take with the story, because there honestly aren't that many, but what they did change is so good. I replayed Turnabout Goodbyes a few nights ago and was surprised at how much dialogue in the musical is taken line-for-line, sometimes even verbatim, from the source material. But, aside from the changes you might expect from condensing an entire mystery game's worth of story into a few hours of runtime--such as simplifying the cases to require fewer clues to solve--they really only altered the plot in ways that gave more chances to develop the characters, and to create rewarding arcs for each and every one.

They added a whole damn scene of just Gumshoe and Maya having a heart-to-heart. It is easily one of my favorite scenes in the entire play. These writers drank their respecting-Dick-Gumshoe juice that morning, and that single scene gives a better emotional payoff to his loyalty to Miles than I think we ever got in canon, while remaining utterly in-character for everyone involved. Meanwhile, the scene doubles as one of many stepping stones* for Maya's own character arc (which is also much more focused and consistent than in canon, imo!), in which she struggles with her feelings of helplessness and inadequacy as she tries to live up to Mia's legacy.

(It goes without saying that this scene also serves the practical purpose of getting characters in place to further simplify the details of the case, as mentioned before, because the writing is unparalleled and I will keep emphasizing that as many times as it needs to be said.)

In truth, there are only two things I would qualify as "major" changes to the story (in that they're different from canon, not that they actually change the plot itself), and I'm hesitant to spoil them here because both of them are SO good and both of them hit me like a truck when they happened. One has to do with emotional depth getting added to a certain character's arc, and the other has to do with relationships between characters. (Maybe I'll add them as a self-reblog to this post because I still need to scream about them lol.)

In any case, I'm not kidding when I say that the musical's version of events, big changes and small, is so compelling to me that it has now superseded the canon version in my mind.** It manages to tell the exact same story while not only giving some of the "side" characters much more credit, but also tying the cases themselves together into a single narrative. The specter of Redd White and his chokehold on the justice system is present in the back half of the original game, but the musical tweaks things to really make you feel how all of these pieces fit together to direct the characters' actions and growth. It's just... ugh, so brilliant. [chef kiss]

I would be remiss if I didn't also take a moment to directly praise the performance of the actors. As obsessed as I am with the music itself, my single favorite moments in both Acts are actually short lines of spoken dialogue.*** The delivery just struck a chord in me and I still lose it a little every time I hear those parts. (And other parts, but. Shush.) Everyone did a great job, but the three leads (Ren, MJ, and Gavaroc, who played Phoenix, Maya, and Miles respectively) absolutely knocked it out of the park in both their sung and spoken performances. Is it weird to say I'm obsessed with how convincing the screams are in "600,000 Volts"? It is, a little? Okay, well. [cough] Regardless. The whole cast really knew what they were doing throughout this entire production; the emotion is extremely powerful when the moment calls for it**** and they elevate the dialogue--again, a lot of which is taken DIRECTLY from canon!--from something good to something amazing. The delivery of these lines has literally changed how I look at the first game, now. They're that good.

Quick shout-out to some of the other voices that have invaded my brain and instantly become my headcanon voices for the characters. Just off the top of my head: Larry, Payne, Sahwit, Redd, Grossberg, Lotta, Lana... seriously. This cast is absolutely star-studded. Even the ensemble freakin' killed it, absolutely transforming every song they were in. The soprano that hit that high note at the end of "Justice for All (Reprise)"????? MAGNIFICENT. GOOSEBUMPS EVERY TIME.

Good grief, this is already so long and I still have so much more I could say. This is why it's taken me so long to write all this out, by the way. This musical is transcendently good, both from a musical perspective and a fandom one, and I simply have not stopped rotating it around in my head since I first heard it.

It's NOT without flaws. Of course it's not. The sound quality on a handful of spoken lines is noticeably lower. The word choices in a few verses feel just slightly clumsy, or forced to fit the meter. The visuals for the Youtube release are a little goofy at times because of the limitations of the game assets used. The plot of the second act, even simplified, would probably be a little too dense to easily follow for someone unfamiliar with the source material.

But if there's anything to be learned from Ace Attorney, it's that perfection shouldn't be the most important goal. Sometimes a few rough edges are necessary to allow room for truth. And the truth is, in this case, a story. A story about a lawyer named Phoenix Wright, who loses a mentor, gains a best friend, and saves a man who'd lost himself.

It's a story worth hearing, and what better way than in song?

--

*- For the record, my favorite song in Act 1 was "I'll Be There", so among all the MANY times the end of Act 2 punched me directly in the heart, the moment that hits me the hardest is probably still the part of the finale that reprises it. That last stanza (I hope you know I'm glad we met...) makes me want to cry every single time. Maya Fey Protection Squad, indeed.....

**- Except for ONE thing at the very end, but that's a story for the self-reblog where I scream about the spoilery stuff LOL

***- My fav line in Act 1 is Miles' real-time epiphany that Redd White is a murderer. ("The only people in that office at that time were the victim and the- ...killer.") You can HEAR his eyes widen as he falters, and the choice to have that as his turning point in place of Turnabout Samurai is so brilliant in so many ways I can't even handle it. I love Miles Edgeworth so much. Anyway, THEN, my fav line in Act 2 is Phoenix's heartrendingly soft, "I've got you, Edgeworth. I've got you." It's so tender and yet so sure. It's Phoenix catching Miles as he falls, looking him directly in the eye, and telling him it's over, I won't let you suffer for one more day.

****- Another of my many favorite lines is Phoenix's "Did you DO it!?" underneath Miles' singing in "Alone". The desperation. The ANGUISH. During my replay of Turnabout Goodbyes I literally had to stop and take a second when the button prompt labeled "Did you do it?" popped up on my screen. That hurted.

#Ace Attorney #TAAAM #Turnabout: an Ace Attorney Musical #long post #I was so tempted to write this in the form of me just going song-by-song and gushing about all my thoughts #but that would have been an even more disorganized mess than this is lmao

[sansloii]

Name: Hollis! ( though, i go by Marshy as well and have for about 6 years )

Pronouns: she/they

Preferred comms: discord because tumblr ims are questionable at best. i also uninstalled the app because of how often it would just randomly crash for little to no reason so.... if you want to reach me, disco is the safest bet

Name of muse(s): I have eight wonderful creatures of varying temperament. Batch 1 was Mikah. Batch 2 was Penelope, Wynn, Evan, Dakota, and Joseph. Batch 3 was Roderick and Andris. I also am working on fleshing out Vega properly but he's not quite done yet.

Experience in RP: in about 2012-ish, i was into f.andomstuck and i had an oc for that until like.... 2014-ish? it was baby's first blog and i didn't really know what I was doing. I had fun, while it lasted, but i also knew some of the people in this community ( like they went to the same high school as me ) so any issue we had on tumblr would translate into lunchroom confrontations. I didn't enjoy that part so much and my interest for it fizzled out by the time i graduated. then, i jumped over to the fire emblem fandom and made an oc for fire emblem awakening! i think i stayed in that rpc until 2016/2017 and i had two ocs, a mother and her son from the future, that i still very much adore. there were ups and downs and i feel like i was taught.... multiple frustrating lessons during my tenure there. it did help me develop my writing a lot and i have to say that i'm honestly better off having taken the chance to do it.

lastly, i ended up here in 2017 and i'm not leaving. i also have another massive oc blog i'm slowly reworking but i'm trying not to stress myself out lol.

Best experiences: it's very difficult to put specific experiences into words because most of it, for me, is vibes. my best experiences have been interactions and plots with people that I not only get along with but like... you know--we understand each other. like if i decide that i'm not going to rp on tumbles for a month and maybe just stick to headcanons, i can do so without fear that you think i'm wasting your time. or that we can pick up where we left off and it's okay if you respond to the months old thread you had with me. or! we can just stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking about ideas or blorbos or getting really into a discord rps. like it's the vibes that i can come to you like a fart in the night with a gifset or image like "hey this is our muses" and, likewise, you can do the same with me.

to those of you who i vibrate at the speed of light towards at any given moment, you know who you are. thank you for being patient with me and giving me the space to vibe with you :)

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: i feel like every time i open my mouth about pet peeves i have, i sound like a crotchety old person that always has something negative to say deep down ... but w/e. it's my soap box.

i've noticed that since i've come back, it feels like i have to be the one that's chasing some people for interactions or plots more often. or like. right out the gate, they wanna jump from A to Z and be best buds and whatever so we can speedrun everything. or... i'm expected to or have to do most of the work because they're quite literally doing none of it after expressing interest. and like some of that isn't inherently bad! i'll be the first to admit that if we're friendly enough and progress something enough to where it's like... an established thing? we can have something going faster than the speed of sound after that. we can have multiple ships, a dedicated au, a whole slew of worldbuilding shit together and i won't care because i know said person on some level. and that took time + a whole slew of back and forths.

however, it doesn't feel great to express that "hey i want to plot something but it'll take time and like... if we're shipping on top of that, it'll take double that amount" and watch, in real time, as that person just... eventually leaves you on read. and/or just doesn't interact with your content anymore. and i can tell the difference between being preoccupied/ having not great week/taking a break from tumblr entirely/being slow and being put on a shelf/ barely acknowledged very clearly. i shouldn't have to feel like i'm competing for a slot or something, which is the vibes i got sometimes and ( as you would expect ) didn't like.

this isn't directed at anyone i'm currently following, ofc. i know i am not perfect but i also know that i am an extremely patient person, which is how I want to be treated. It's very frustrating to try and try and try again only to get the bare minimum from people i genuinely wanted to interact with. but c'est la vie--such is life--and i move on. i, like many others, have limited time to be on here and if something doesn't bring me joy after a month, two months, three months, I'm more than willing to part with it. there has to be effort on both ends in some way and if you want me to pat your ass, pat my ass too.

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): you cannot make me choose. now, does that mean that I write them all in equal amounts? certainly not. but it really depends on my mood. sometimes, all i wanna do is talk about soft moments. other times, i want to put my muses in a blender and watch them process what's happening to them. occasionally, i'll let them roam free and be as horny as they like. the key is to always cycle through the three so you don't get burnt out on any one of them.

Plot or memes: uuuuuhhhh it depends? plots are my fucking jam and i like having a general storyline to follow when writing and then figuring out the little details when we get to them. it's a long process but i enjoy the wait and the buildup more than i enjoy air so djsfdvdfvd--

buuuuuut i also think memes are a valueable, valueable springboard into interactions. and plotting straight outta the gate can be intimidating for some. plus, if you want to plot but your head is empty atm, finding and sending memes with the same vibe as the plot point you wanted to discuss is helpful! i'll admit that i'm not great at sending in memes but it's not for lack of wanting to. it's more not knowing what to send and picking a muse to send along with it that trips me up. Plus, not being here most of the day tends to mean i miss a lot of meme reblogs orz

Long or short replies: long replies but i do trim them shorter or rewrite portions of them. sometimes, i will write what i deem to be "too much" for a reply ( e.g: my partner has like 350 words and i'm sitting at like 625 words ) and i'll go back and edit it down to 450-500 if i find stuff that doesn't really move anything along or is just needless padding.

Best time to write: it used to be late night but i pass out too often for that to be effective anymore ( because of my sleep schedule for work ), so i tend to favor late mornings and early afternoon. if i'm writing late at night, it's because i didn't have time during the day to do so.

Are you like your muse(s): n...not really in most cases. like we share some traits here and there but for the most part, my personality, sense of style, and morality deviates from most of them.

tagged by: @rexpyre tagging: @arcxnumvitae @gunrising @royaletiquette @nezumivc103221 @bonesofchaos and anyone else that wants to.

#ツ ┊ ⧼ catwalk talk ⧽ ⇹ ( ooc. ) #.does a little dance :) #.thank you for the tag!

[captainsophiestark]

Laser Tag

Bobbi Morse x Reader

Masterlist

Written for Fictober 2022! Requested by Anon :)

Fandom: Marvel

Prompt: “Do we have a deal?”

Summary: Y/N and Bobbi have worked at SHIELD together for a long time, and have recently become training partners, which has only made Y/N's crush on their fellow agent a thousand times worse. When they set up a bet that revolves around Y/N taking Bobbi on a date if they win, they might finally get their wish of having something other than a work relationship with their fellow agent.

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 1,425

A/N: I've never written for Bobbi or even really thought about writing for Bobbi, but this was fun! Thanks to the anon who requested it, and I hope I did her justice!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Do we have a deal?"

"Sure, Y/N, we have a deal. If you somehow manage to beat me in hand-to-hand this round, I'll go on a date with you." I grinned at Bobbi, my training partner and long-time crush, as she raised her fists to get ready for our next round of sparring. "But, if you lose, you have to do all of my paperwork for the next month."

I grinned. "Don't worry, Bobbi. I'll make sure to pick a nice restaurant for our date to take the sting out of all that paperwork you're not going to be able to get out of."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, but I caught a slight smile on her face nonetheless.

"Alright, enough smack talk. Time to back it up. C'mon."

I shot her a smirk, then darted forward with lightning speed. Despite how confident I was in my ability to win this round, Bobbi was still a formidable opponent, and she reacted quickly enough to block my move. She quickly countered with one of her own, putting me on the back foot as I had to scramble back a few steps to get out of her range.

"What's the matter, Y/N?" she asked, shooting me an irritatingly distracting smile as she took up her defensive stance again. "The idea of all that paperwork keeping your mind elsewhere?"

I scoffed as Bobbi looked me up and down, making my heart race. "You know it's not the paperwork distracting me you damn cheater."

Bobbi just winked at me, then rushed forward so fast I almost couldn't stop her. We traded blows for a few minutes, Bobbi pushing me further and further back with each attack. I was going to run out of room soon, and then she'd really have me beat, so in between blocks I took a deep breath and forced my brain to focus on the fight instead of Bobbi.

It wasn't easy, but I managed to lock into combat mode, and just like that the tables turned. Bobbi had been kicking my ass in training since we'd started as partners last week, but it had largely been because she was such a distraction for me. Now, with so much on the line, I'd finally managed to get in the zone, which meant I could take advantage of my full skill set.

The momentum shifted, and I pushed Bobbi back a few steps. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, and then she doubled the ferocity of her attacks. Still, I managed to get her on the defense. One perk of consistently making a fool of myself in front of her over the past week was that she hadn't seen my full capabilities or moves yet, which meant she didn't have any practice defending against them.

After a few minutes of rapid back and forth, I finally managed to surprise Bobbi and knock her feet out from under her. I had her pinned in a few moments after that, and when a couple attempts at catching me off guard and flipping me failed, Bobbi finally admitted defeat.

"Where the hell did that come from?" she demanded as we stood. I got up first and offered her my hand, which she took, then I grinned at her.

"I finally managed to stop being nervous around you long enough to get my head in the game and fight like I do against literally everyone else that's not you," I said. Bobbi shook her head, but she was smiling all the same. "And just in time, too, because as much as I want to take you out I also really do not want to do that paperwork."

She rolled her eyes and threw her head back at the mention of the paperwork, which made me laugh.

"So, where do you want to go for our date?"

****************

"Alright, I'll admit... as far as dates go, this one actually does make up for the paperwork a little."

I grinned at Bobbi as the two of us went through the motions of putting on our laser tag vests. We'd gone out to a nice, if early, dinner, and then I'd surprised Bobbi by bringing her to the second phase of our date: no-holds-barred laser tag.

"I'm glad you think so," I said, shooting her a smile. Dinner had gone fantastically, and I got the feeling Bobbi might just be crushing on me as hard as I was crushing on her, now. "The only question left is: are we teaming up or competing against each other."

"I mean... I think it might be unfair if we teamed up against all these poor, helpless civilians," she said with a mischievous grin. I returned her look with one of my own.

"Well then, I guess you'd better bring your A-game in there, Agent Morse."

"You're on."

Bobbi and I had an absolute field day in laser tag. We got to play three rounds, and in the first two, we were in a league of our own. Hardly anybody else landed a hit on either of us, but we scored a ridiculous amount of points against everyone else. In the first round, Bobbi beat me by a slim margin. In the second round, I managed to beat her by about the same, which meant it all came down to the third round.

"This is it," I said, grinning at her as we suited up in our laser tag vests for the last time. "Winner takes all."

"Care to make it interesting?" she asked, fixing me with a look that shot a thrill through my heart as we waited for the game to start.

"I'd be interested. Loser does the winner's paperwork for a week?"

"Or... loser plans and buys the next date."

My heart stopped in my chest. I stared at Bobbi, trying to play it cool while also freaking out. She smirked back at me, clearly aware of the effect her words had on me.

"You..." I cleared my throat, trying to get it together and sound halfway normal. "You want to go on another date?"

"Yeah," she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "This was fun. And I've actually liked you for a while, too. I'm just better at being a spy and not having a visible heart attack every time you walked into the room."

I scoffed, but turned away to avoid looking at her because I knew my expression would just prove her point. Bobbi took a few steps closer to me, until the distance between us was almost completely gone, then gently lifted my chin with her hand until our eyes met.

"Hey. Seriously, though, this has been great. I'm glad we did this."

"Me too," I agreed. I glanced down at her lips, and before I knew it, we were both leaning into each other, further closing the distance until it completely disappeared. I was kissing Bobbi Morse, in the middle of a laser tag arena no less, and I absolutely loved it.

We broke apart after a few moments, since we were still in public. I absolutely beamed at Bobbi, and the soft expression on her face made my heart melt.

"I guess it's a good thing I let you win in our sparring match," she said as she pulled away. My mouth dropped open, but before I could call her on her bullshit, the laser tag arena doors opened and the countdown to find your hiding spot started sounding. Bobbi shot me a wink and the most shit-eating grin I'd ever seen, then turned on her heel and took off. I quickly shook myself out of my shock and hurried after her.

"Morse, you're in for it now! You didn't let me win then, and you're gonna lose fair and square now, too!"

I heard her laugh from somewhere in the darkness, and I couldn't help smiling to myself, despite my minor outrage. I was on a date with Bobbi Morse, and one way or another we were planning a second one. What on Earth could I possibly complain about?

#fictober22 #marvel #agents of shield #Bobbi Morse #bobbi morse x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel one shot #marvel imagine #agents of shield imagine #agents of shield fanfiction #agents of shield oneshot #Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. #bobbi morse fanfiction #bobbi morse imagine #bobbi morse oneshot #shield #secret agent #aos #agent bobbi morse #laser tag

[thessalian]

Thess vs "Little" Extras

So once again, work is seismic levels of bullshit.

We weren't doing too badly - just about caught up, in fact. This is despite the fact that every single last one of the little fuckers I work with keep leaving me with the problem dictations. So I get all the placentas (and The Placenta Guy is working overtime at the moment, damn near literally), all the bowel resections (dictated by people who either dictate too fast, speak with a difficult accent, dictate a report full of grammatical errors, or all of the above), and all the ones by the various newbies who either haven't figured out that maybe switching off the recording while you're taking measurements would be a good idea so that a typist doesn't have to sit through 10-15 seconds of silence between each measurement, have no idea how block keys work, or both. This is my main annoyance. I may have little snippets designed to make typing the stuff The Placenta Guy throws at me a little easier, but that shouldn't be an excuse to throw all of them at me. And yes, I know they do this to me specifically because when I see the queue get larger and look over, I see stuff that was put into the queue before any of the stuff in mine, put there by someone who picked it up out of the queue and decided they didn't want to do it so put it back.

(At least they seem to have figured out that if they're going to pull that shit on me, they should take some of the bullshit from The Breast Guy off my hands.)

Anyway, today all the doctors doing dictation a) came in somewhere in the middle of the day, b) dictated their asses off, and c) dumped the typing into the queue in big blocks of 20+ reports at a go. So you can imagine that even working flat-out, our queue went from mid double figures to low triple figures and we couldn't whittle it down. So that's a mess to look forward to come Tuesday - especially given that they seem to have been coming in on weekends lately, too. I heard talk in our last staff meeting (our first staff meeting, really) that we were looking for a new staffer. That was months ago and I have, of course, heard jack squat. So this is fun.

So in the middle of all this - dealing with all the fiddly frustrating bits of typing that no one wants to do - I get an email from Scruffman, my manager. He's apparently supposed to be writing a Standard Operating Procedure document for the department. Thing is, he's not writing it. Apparently he either can't be arsed or doesn't know what our SOP actually is. Because he asks me if I can write a step-by-step SOP guide to the typing so he can put it in his document. That's ... it. No details. So, grumbling because I am busy actually doing the SOP he's asking me to put down on 'paper', I put together a bullet-pointed list and go, "Is that the sort of thing you were after?" He says yes. I think that's done.

Nope. Then he emails me back going, "So could you grab some screenshots, and put that and your list together as a Word document?"

...I really want to know why he asks me to do the fiddly shit. I'd feel a lot better about it if he told me that it's because I'm one of the most competent people in the department instead of just dumping it on me without any sort of comment, which generally leaves me to think that he picks me for this shit because I'm the one that won't complain at him.

Anyway, I tell him I don't actually have Word on my work laptop. I don't use Word at work. (Hell, I don't use Word at home; I have OpenOffice). But, because I do believe in actually doing my fucking job, I tell him that the only way I could do it is if I took the screenshots, emailed them to myself, and did it on my home computer.

To which he says, "Great; Tuesday's fine. Thanks!"

Now I'm trying to figure out whether I want to start late or leave early on Tuesday because there is no way I'm doing that shit unpaid. Thankfully, I know for a fact that Scruffman would never expect me to (he told me to log out early when I spent 15 minutes of my own time filling out my staff evaluation form, and this is far more delineated as 'work') so that's fine. Thing is, we're getting to a point where I don't know how much we can afford to have me off doing something else. I am the one person in the fucking department who doesn't dodge any work that might be deemed 'difficult' or 'annoying' or 'something they just don't want to do'.

Anyway, after all this, I have to leave the house. Enough groceries to tide me over until the monthly Big Shop can be delivered, and pain meds. It's been a rough week and I keep getting migraine stabs. It's not fun.

#Thess has a day job

[margridarnauds]

fanfic writer emoji ask: ✍ 🎢 👀

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

For a while, I did, and they were and are great (we have not had a falling out! We are still friends!), but real life kind of got in the way for both of us, and that's fine. Sometimes, I do miss having someone look over my stuff so that I know I don't sound insane, but it's fine.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

I feel like "wildest ride" could mean so many different things. Like, content wise, just on the basis of it existing? ABSOLUTELY A Soft October Night, mainly because I don't think I'd ever gone as far as "Incest Murder Threesome" before. (I will make no promises that I won't do so AGAIN, but it definitely is a shocker from the usual.)

Though this is ALSO from the same creative team that brought you "Romeo has sex with the personification of Death on a crucifix" and "Ronan and Lazare have sex on a printing press" (which seems MUCH tamer compared to the other two), so, really, you can pick your poison.

As far as plot? Either The Midnight Mass or Pour la Peine, depending on if you think "Ronan discovers his old friends are zombies that want to kill him" or "The Thing that happens in Pour la Peine that changes the whole plot" is more shocking. (Personally, I am still REALLY proud of that twist in PLP, since I'd sat on that for years.)

If you're talking about in a crackficky sense? ...I mean. Goosefic. Goosefic. The fic that solidified my reputation in the 1789 fandom. If I say so myself, every single fic I've listed before that has some larger motivation for why it's Like That. Goosefic was just me reading a writing prompt and thinking "I want Lazare to get chased by a pissed off goose." And it is beautiful.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I don't think it's a SECRET I'm working on writing out my playthrough of BG3, or at least. Key parts of it. (I am NOT. Novelizing. An 125 hour playthrough. Yet.) I have about 11k words into it at the moment, but I'm not publishing a word of it until it's in a place where I know I can very likely finish it, or at least make a dent. We are NOT doing that thing where I just publish one chapter, hit a major bout of writer's block, and can't go through with it. (I can't make any promises for AFTER one chapter.)

It deals, primarily, with Kitrye's Happy Fun Times in the game, her ongoing verbal game of cat and mouse with Raphael, her relationship with her sister, and her relationship with her culture, as well as her overall development during the course of the game. (I don't really consider it a spoiler, given I put it in an actual gifset, that Kitrye breaks her oath as a paladin at one point -- there is a LOT dedicated to the circumstances around that and how it changes the game, even though that's a late development.) A spoiler that literally only you and a couple of people will understand and so I can give without any worry is:

"Ich will dich nicht, ich brauch' dich nicht. GEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

(Honestly, thus far, it's looking like how I'm writing out every act is taking inspiration from something else. Like, if Pour la Peine and its related stories drew a lot of inspiration from the Evilious Chronicles, I would say that the third act in particular is very, very Elisabeth tinted if you know where to look; second act is looking to have at least one scene inspired by a very memorable moment from one of the branches of the Mabinogi; and the first act, which is still the roughest, is a little bit more up in the air, with all of them borrowing at least a LITTLE bit from The Last Trial.)

Of course. It would be much easier to work on it. IF I HAD MY GAMING PC THAT COULD RUN THE GAME SO I COULD DOUBLE CHECK MY FILES. MY CUSTOM MADE GAMING PC THAT I CHOSE EVERY SINGLE PART FOR SO THAT IT COULD BE A MONSTER AT RUNNING GAMES.

(I'm cool, I'm chill, I'm fine.)

Anyway, have the Symryvvin girls, out of context. (Malla 🤝 Raphael: Being in an eternal state of Done.)

[pridepages]

Mythtaken

I just finished Lies We Sing to the Sea by Sarah Underwood. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

In the words of an internet philosopher: were you obsessed with greek mythology as a kid or were you straight?

Like many a young sapphic, I've had a passion for the figures of myth: Artemis, Athena, Aphrodite, Penelope, Ariadne, Circe...So when I heard there was a new novel out there putting the women of The Odyssey front and center, I knew I had to read it!

I found myself pretty much alone in my excitement.

I missed the tempest around this book when it hit shelves back in early 2023, but here's the drift:

Lies We Sing to the Sea was marketed as a sapphic reimagining of The Odyssey. However, author Sarah Underwood went on record with a student publication saying she'd never actually read The Odyssey.

This caused about as much hand-wringing and circle-jerking as you might imagine.

Well, as someone who has read The Odyssey (twice), I can tell you with authority:

Fuck Homer.

Sarah Underwood did not actually need to read 'the original' to write a novel that addresses some of the poem's most glaring weaknesses.

Here are a few reasons why:

Lies is not a reimagining of The Odyssey.

That was a poor choice of words made by some marketing person who probably didn't even read the manuscript. Lies is, at best, a very distant sequel to the poem.

Set hundreds of years after the reign of the mighty Odysseus, Lies imagines an Ithaca that is still laboring under Poseidon's curse. The mechanism for this curse hinges on one of The Odyssey's most horrific and least-mentioned moments.

It is canonical that when Odysseus returns to 'clean house' of the evil suitors who have been pillaging his home and harassing his wife, he makes a point of executing any of the maidservants of the house who were 'unchaste' with them.

Let that sink in for a minute.

We're talking about women--girls, really, let's be honest here--who have no social standing or currency. They are there to serve. Their mistress, the highest ranking woman in the house, has done nothing to get these men to leave. Apparently, she can't. So if these men can take and take from her...

...how exactly could any mere servant say 'no'?

Admittedly, I'm imagining a worst-case scenario here. So let's imagine a slightly better one. Let's imagine that these girls went willingly...

...So what?

Odysseus sluts it up and down the mythological Mediterranean for ten years and four hundred pages. He has affairs that last for literal years with some of these women. But, apparently, somehow it's okay when he does it. When his serving girls do it--for subsistence or pleasure--they are dishonoring the king. The underlying logic being: because he owns them and they are an extension of his honor and manliness.

Fucked up, right?

For the crime of having their bodies 'used' by other men, Odysseus literally has Telemachus hang them.

Double fucked up.

So what does this have to do with Lies? Underwood imagines that Poseidon is furious that the 'great hero' Odysseus does this. (He was pissed off at Odysseus before for other reasons, but it's perfectly in character for a greek god to get petty and find reasons to stay mad.) So Underwood's Ithaca labors under a curse: every year, Poseidon threatens the island with ravaging storms unless they repeat the cycle and sacrifice twelve chosen girls. There is but one way to break this terrible cycle of shedding innocent blood: the sons of Odysseus must make a willing sacrifice.

Lies picks up in the voices of three narrators: two girls who were executed--bodies dumped in the sea--and resurrected by Poseidon to break the curse, and the last prince of Ithaca.

All of this to say: Underwood doesn't need to have read The Odyssey to tell this story.

All she had to hear was this horrifying footnote in this epic poem about this vainglorious bastard and think 'That's fucked up. What if I wrote the revenge story?'

And she did.

2. The Odyssey--and Greek Mythology--is inherently sexist.

Like I said, I loved greek mythology growing up. But the older I got, and the more I read, the more I realized that women don't really have a place. Their sexuality is policed. Their power is suspect. To be 'good' meant subjecting yourself to becoming some man's property to win or lose as he chose. To seek any kind of autonomy or freedom meant being 'deviant.' And even if you did manage to scrape out some kind of independence, it meant you had to remember your place. (Even Athena was subject to Zeus.)

So for all the people wailing about how Underwood was disrespecting the source material by refusing to read it...

So what? The source material disrespected us first.

The ancient stories are all about men and their great deeds. Women are, at best, footnotes. Underwood did not need to read over four hundred pages to get that message. And she didn't need Homer to tell a story that gave voice to characters who never had a voice in the first place.

It's like people have never heard of fanfic!

Fanfic was in part born out of a need for marginalized people to give themselves a space in existing stories. That's effectively what Underwood did. She didn't choose to write about a goddess or a witch or a queen...

She wrote about the nobodies.

She wrote about servant girls who, at best, were accorded a handful of lines and no names in the original text.

She thought they deserved a say.

So who gives a fuck what Homer had to say about them? He never gave a fuck about what they had to say!

Which brings me to my last troubling thought...

3. This whole thing highlights the miserable gendered double-standard that still exists in fan spaces.

Sorry, purists. But do you know what you sound like? Every time you criticize Sarah Underwood for not being a 'real' Homeric fan, you sound like those gatekeeping dudebros who insist women prove their credentials before even allowing them a seat at the table.

So she didn't read The Odyssey. Who cares? It's not that great a book anyway!

But you know what's a really good book? Lies We Sing to the Sea.

It's haunting and poetic. It speaks of sacrifice and longing. It's tragedy and star-crossed love at its finest.

It has unapologetically queer girls taking their lives into their own hands.

It demands that men be accountable for the suffering they cause women.

It cries out for justice for people who never wanted to be fighters and martyrs but just wanted to live, gods dammit! But the world didn't let them, so now they have to pick up the fight so that future generations won't have to bear the pain.

It's a gorgeous novel.

And the thing that gets me the most is that people sank it using this 'purist' argument...but I'm not sure they would have if it had been written by a man.

Out of the depths of my mind every time I read another wanky thinkpiece on this incident rises the suspicion: people might have thought this author was bold and brash, or at least excused, if she were a man.

They would have shrugged their shoulders at bad marketing.

They would have hailed him a hero for pointing out Homeric shortcomings.

The purist arguments would have washed away.

Instead...

Well.

I'm not saying you have to agree with my take on the text or love this book. But I would suggest that if the thing that stayed your hand was a bad faith criticism that the author didn't do her homework...

Maybe you have to consider what lies have been sung to you.

#lies we sing to the sea #wlw #sapphic #lesbian #bisexual #sarah underwood #lgbt reads #queer lit