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#like ok you don't even know me cat
thekittyokat · 29 days
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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byanyan · 4 months
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i think byan might be the sort of person to walk their cats on cute little leashes ngl
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humanmorph · 1 year
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I took 2 days off next week bc I have that much overtime but I'm already trying to do math in my head on how to get that time back before even having taken it (if I work til 4pm today AND tomorrow I'm almost back at +4h overtime which is at least a third of the time I'm taking off)
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i have literally never been a dog person but lately i've been hit with What If I Got A Dog and it's rockin my world to be quite frank with you
#dogs are just. so cool. i want a medium/big dog IF i ever get one#but with the job that i'll have working evening shifts i would have time for one during the day#i've spent all my idle time today just mapping it out in my head and looking at dog breed vids on youtube#which is an ok amount of research for rn because it will be YEARS before i bring another animal into this house#for a dog to come into the house it has to be after my cat dies and that thought makes me very sad so i want to just focus on my cat#for right now#he does not get along with others. he's just a very anxious little boy because he's disabled and doesn't feel confident that he can#defend himself.#i have been watching bike riding videos with dogs cuz that's what i'd do if i had one. i can't run it's just not in my agenda#i don't have that kinda stamina or the right shoes or anything#but ohhhhh my god if i could train a dog so well that it could RUN BESIDE ME while i ride my bike? that would be SO AMAZING#first of all it would keep the dog healthy. second we'd look cool as hell and so coordinated. and it would mean that we'd bonded rlly well#idk man i don't want kids but i do want to guide a life and make it better. which i'm doing right now with my cat but like#idk i'm just daydreaming#dogs were bred to be trained. cats do whatever they want. you CAN train them but they're not bred for it#part of me is attached to labs but that is so BASIC and i know that people underestimate labs cuz they're so common in usa and canada#so i'm looking at different breeds to see what would suit me best but it rlly comes down to The Dog#which will not come along for HOPEFULLY many years#literally we'll just see how i feel tomorrow. cuz this feeling has come up as of today. i actually think i'm just pmsing#but i can tell this experience has changed me. i've been watching dog grooming videos that's what it is#i will come out of this with more of an appreciation for dogs. i know that. maybe i will actually adopt one in the far far future#it's a nice thought#txt
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herd-reject-arts · 11 months
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So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this
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Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.
So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"
It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead
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Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.
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medicinemane · 8 months
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Always hungry, always broke, and always having my mom toss a new catastrophe my way... but never actually being given control of the money despite the fact that I've been able to hold on to my stimulus checks all these years only spending them on emergencies, but she blows her disability and wracks up credit card debt
But see... she'd feel like a child if she had to ask for money for things... it's much better when she has full control so she can do things like spend $300 on microtransactions in a single month
Then my grandma gets mad at me for having to help with money cause I don't have a job, and if I just had a job it would be fine (and no doubt I'm pretty shit for not working despite not having anything wrong with me)
When I get stuff cleaned up my mom just uses it as a new spot to dump trash so... there's no point
I provide nothing to the world, I have no talents or skills, everything I do is wrong, and I'm just kind of a drain on the world despite having nothing stopping me from actually doing shit except my poor character
...kinda hemming and hawing on ordering this cause even $18 is a hell of a lot of money to spend on killing myself unless I'm actually gonna do it. If I get it and then keep putting it off... well then that money would have been real better spent elsewhere
...but on the other hand this can't keep continuing... maybe I can take the money I was trying to save up to buy a new mic so I can actually talk to people and spend it on this instead
#then there's the bathroom which both... I've asked plumbers to help with over and over when they've been doing stuff like#installing the water heater or installing my mom's new toilet... but they just... never do#and then... I've asked my mom a number of times to get someone out but she never does#and now I kinda can't even ask because like... ok; the pipe's got mold in it but I guess I can be like 'that's why I asked you here'#but also one of the cat's had diarrhea and decided to keep going next to the toilet instead of the cat box; which is probably my fault#but now... I can't fucking keep up with it and... I can't ask a plumber out with cat shit on the floor#but I can't fucking deal with it; I keep meaning to on trash day; but I'm always too tired and also only have 2 sponges left to deal with i#and I'm just such filth that I haven't even been able to bother changing my bedsheets in like a year#which honestly isn't even that abnormal; that's how it's always been even when I was little#I don't know... I'm just such a worthless fuck up#and people will sometimes offer money but it's like... money doesn't help; I've got that stimulus check sitting in the bank#these are systemic problems I need to fix#but I can't; it's beyond me; I give up; I need to die#nothing of value will be lost#people think it will; but they're wrong#and maybe I'm also just a selfish asshole like everyone's always saying about suicidal people#I don't know... I just keep getting worse; and then I adjust stuff to make it keep working; but then I get worse#I need to hurry up and die#and I finally have a method with a high enough success rate so... probably should bite the bullet and order it#especially when it has legit uses so there's a cover story#man I'm sick of being hungry; sick of being so fucking worthless and incompetent that I can't make myself food once I'm out of cheese powde#and even if I ask for help... well my mom's not hungry so fuck me#I need to die already; I'm so inadequate and never get a damn thing right#everything I do I fucking fail
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yuujispinkhair · 2 months
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Boyfie Sukuna picking you up from your late shift
A while ago, a sweet anon sent me an ask about protective boyfie Sukuna picking up reader from a late shift, and I loved it so much because I would have really needed him too when I was still doing late shifts. So here is a little drabble about Kuna picking us up from work. I hope you enjoy it 💗
Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female). Fluff. Word Count 900. Mentions of smoking. Minors don't interact. Dividers @/benkeibear
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"Ok, let's do this," you mutter to yourself as you push open the heavy back door, trying to hype yourself up and steeling yourself for the darkness that will await you outside of your workplace at this time.
You hate your late shifts when you're the only one left in the building and have to use the exit in the back. Your pulse already speeds up at the thought of having to walk down the dimly lit back alley to reach the main street and the subway station.
But you have no other choice, and so you step out the door and into the dark alley. And immediately jump when a low voice drawls,
"Hey, princess."
You dart around with a hand clutched to your chest and your eyes wide, even as your brain begins to register that you know this voice. And, of course, your gaze lands on a very familiar tall, muscular figure with a beautiful, tattooed face and slicked-back pink hair.
Sukuna.
He is leaning casually against the brick wall, one hand shoved into the pocket of his black jeans, the other bringing a half-smoked cigarette to his lips. He smirks around the cigarette, maroon eyes looking amusedly at you.
"Did I scare you?"
You glare at him, even as you feel a huge relief wash over you. Relief and that all-too-familiar fluttery feeling in your stomach that you always get when you see your boyfriend.
"Kuna! What the... yes, you scared me! What are you doing here?"
Sukuna exhales slowly, watching you through the cigarette smoke with those beautiful cat-like eyes as he shrugs and smirks that devilishly attractive smirk,
"Making sure my girl gets home safely, of course."
You can't stop the big, happy smile from spreading over your face. This side of your boyfriend always makes you so weak for him. This sweet side of Sukuna that contradicts everything the people who told you he wouldn't be good for you said.
Yes, your boyfriend has a bad boy reputation. But yet, here he is, picking you up after your late shift without you having to ask for it. So protective and caring when it comes to you.
"I'm glad you are here, baby."
You smile and get on your tiptoes to kiss Sukuna's tattooed cheek, feeling the anxiety you felt earlier leave you completely. When Sukuna is with you, you know you are safe.
Sukuna grins as he flicks his cigarette away and wraps one strong arm around you to pull you against his tall body. His lips brush against your forehead in a quick but tender kiss.
"Let's go home, princess. Dinner is waiting for you."
"You already cooked too? Are you practicing to become a househusband, Kuna?"
You grin up at Sukuna playfully, and he laughs, but he sounds very pleased when he replies in that sexy, velvety voice,
"For you? Always."
He winks at you and offers you one of his muscular, tattooed arms as if he is a knight or an actor in a 1950s rom-com. And you take Sukuna's arm and hold on to him as you walk down the dimly lit alley together.
Usually, you are scared to walk down this narrow, dark street. But not tonight. Not when you are holding onto Sukuna's arm, your hand wrapped tightly around his bulging tattooed biceps, his tall, strong body so reassuringly brushing against your side.
The dark alley and the nightly city have lost their scariness now that Sukuna is with you and tells you about the dinner he cooked for you and how he beat his brother at a video game they were playing earlier.
You know you are safe when Sukuna is with you. Even the two sinister-looking guys loitering around at the end of the alley quickly leave after casting one look at Sukuna's tattooed face and his tall, muscular body.
You smile and snuggle against Sukuna's warm body, thinking that there are definitely certain benefits to dating a bad boy.
You reach Sukuna's car shortly after, and he holds open the passenger door for you while smirking that sexy, boyish smirk, always acting like an old-fashioned gentleman when it comes to you.
You watch him while he drives, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on your thigh, interlacing his long tattooed fingers with your smaller ones.
And you can't stop smiling from ear to ear. Sukuna cooked dinner for you. He came here to pick you up. And you know that he's turning up the heating in his car just for you. He runs on the hot side and doesn't need it. But he's doing it for you, just like he is doing so many little and big things for you all the time. Anything for you, without you ever having to ask for it. Because he loves you.
It makes your heart feel so full.
You lean across the center console at the first red light, pressing another sweet kiss to Sukuna's cheek. But he turns his face so your lips end up on his. You feel his grin against your lips as his large hand captures your chin, cupping it firmly, holding you in place so he can deepen the kiss, licking into your mouth with a few playful flicks of his pierced tongue before he pulls away again.
You smile, your fingers tightening around Sukuna's hand, which is back in your lap,
"Thank you for picking me up, baby."
You see the corners of Sukuna's lips lift in a matching smile even while his gaze is fixed on the street before him, and his voice sounds playful but warm at the same time,
"You're welcome, princess. From now on, I'll pick you up every time you have a late shift. There's no way you're walking through dark alleys without me."
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Protective boyfie Sukuna makes me SWOON aaaahhhh. Honestly, this gave me such a feeling of safety. In my old job, I had to do late shifts, too, and I was so scared walking down to the train station and waiting for my train because all those sinister-looking men were already starting to crawl out of their holes, and I felt very unsafe there. Protective boyfie Sukuna would have made me feel SO safe.
I hope this could give you comfort, too 💗💗 Thank you so much for reading!! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet.
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i like the idea that bruce just shows up to league meetings with his birds with absolutely no explanation offered
i mean this man frequently stalks his coworkers and knows everything that's happening in their personal lives and i think he'd forget that HE is the weird one for doing it and not everybody automatically knows when he's acquired a new child
so he just shows up at the watchtower with a new bird and literally says nothing about it . just sits at his chair with the latest robin standing next to him and literally doesn't acknowledge that anything is different and it gets even more confusing when they change their costumes and names 😭
like
20-something bruce: and containing this may be a matter of-flash did you have a question
barry: uh. yeah. sorry, what is that?
20-something bruce: (glancing at 9 yr old dick who has been next to him for 45 minutes) that's robin. obviously. as i was saying,
-
early 30s bruce, who hasn't shown up with a robin for a few years, entering with a nightwing and a jason todd robin:
barry:
diana:
hal:
j'onn:
bruce: what.
hal:
hal: do you like clone them or
-
mid 30s bruce, quietly talking with a clearly-not-sixteen-years-old robin in the corner after being without one for two years:
hal:
diana:
barry:
j'onn:
clark:
bruce:
tim:
bruce: this one followed me
-
late 30s bruce zeta-beaming in with a nightwing, a slightly older robin, and an absolutely BUILT man in a red hood:
barry: did you hire a bodyguard
bruce: no.
barry: whos mr red over there
bruce: you don't remember my second one???
barry:
hal:
diana:
j'onn:
clark:
barry: did. did that one not die
jason: got better
-
later 30s bruce, quietly showing around a blonde robin:
hal:
bruce: don't ask.
hal: i didn't say anything
-
40 yr old bruce, making intense, unbroken eye contact with a black shadow:
clark, leaning over to talk to tim: what are they doing
tim, not looking up from his fancy ipad: do i look like i know that
-
red robin popping in unnanounced in the middle of a league meeting: batman is alive.
barry: who the FUCK are you???
-
batman, some minutes later, trailed by what is CLEARLY a new robin: did red robin happen to pass through here????
barry: i have several questions
-
no-longer-lost-in-the-time-stream bruce, talking to batgirl, black bat, and the signal:
hal: did you get three more.
bruce: no. just one.
hal: i shouldn't have asked, my bad
-
mid 40s bruce wayne, stepping out of the zeta tube: sorry i'm late
diana: not to worry. let's get start-
bruce: i have a few more coming behind me
zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀
jason: hi
cass: 👋
diana:
diana: ok should we st-
zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀
dick, holding damian like a scowling, sopping wet cat: bruce he's not feeling polite today
damian: HISSS
bruce: okay does he need to go back?
dick: he said he's fine but hes just not feeling polite
diana:
diana: is that the las-
zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀
steph: b i need a hair tie
diana:
diana: so can-
zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀
duke: b did i miss rolecall
diana: no, signal, you did not. let's-
zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀
tim: b alf is mad at you
bruce: why
hal: it's like a fucking clown car
steph: you didn't eat breakfast
tim: you didn't eat breakfast either
steph: shut.
damian: HISSSS
jason: wing. if you do not keep that brat quiet-
dick: hes a BABY!!!!!
duke: you didn't eat breakfast either, timothy
jason: hes a BITCH!!!!!
tim: who the fuck told you????
cass: :)
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hal: (storming off, in tears), YOU HAVE TOO MANY CHILDREN.
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selineram3421 · 4 months
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Deer Demon Child Headcanons
Requested
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Alastor & Child Reader
Warnings? ⚠
⚠ implied death, mention of blood, mention of cannibalism, weapons-gun ⚠
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It was a surprise to everyone that a child wandered into the hotel.
A little deer demon.
That's you
Climbed up one of the bar stools and stared the cat man down until he finally noticed them.
"Uh..hey? Kid."
"I want juice!", you pointed at a bottle behind him that was on the shelf.
"That's not juice."
While distracting you with magic tricks and cards games, Husk called Charlie to let her know that a new guest had arrived.
The Princess ran to get to the lobby and rushed over to the bar.
"Hi! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!", Charlie sings out before noticing the little deer. "Oh."
Everyone is called into the lobby.
"Ok!", Charlie claps her hands together and introduces you to the group. "Everyone, be nice and say hi."
Later on you are asked by Vaggie and Charlie how you got to the "red place."
Mostly everyone left and it was only you three. Four.
"Before I woke up here I was with my moma.", you said while coloring your drawing. "Dad had a shiney toy in his drawer and showed it to me a lot of times. It made fun clicking noises. I wanted to play with it, so I took it out."
As you were explaining you drew out the shape of a gun.
"I wanted to show Moma but she looked scared. And when I tried to make the clicky noise it came out different. It made a bang and then Moma fell."
You drew your mother covered in red.
"I tried to wake her up but she wouldn't get up. I got sad and started crying."
You didn't notice Charlie and Vaggie looking sad.
"Then Dad came home and started screaming at me and took the toy away. And then everything went dark for a while."
Picking up your paper, you showed the girls your drawings.
"And then I woke up to the red sky!"
Charlie hugged you after and said that she'll make sure you go to Heaven.
Oof sad backstory.
Husk literally growls at Alastor everytime he mentions venison for dinner.
Alastor has joked to others that he'll eat you but stopped once he grew fond of you.
"Little fawn.", he smiles as he greets you. "Would you like gingerbread cookies?"
To be honest, everyone is worried that Alastor might kill you. But surprise, surprise! They are shocked when he takes care of you instead.
You're the favorite hotel guest.
Anyone that tries anything will be taken care of.
Charlie did a talent show day and you sang, surprising everyone with your angelic like voice.
You're a curious little deer and the hotel guests and staff find you in odd places.
Once Angel found you upsidedown behind the couch that was against the wall.
"What are ya doing back there?", he asked after pulling you out.
"Niffty said there was treasure!", you smiled.
Alastor finds it adorable that you go to him when someone you don't know/scary person is in the hotel.
Sir Pentious is told to put all of his weapons away.
Everyone dubs you as Alastor's child. Even the Radio Demon himself.
Vaggie threatens Alastor after he jokes that you'll be a cannibal like him.
Of course he'd never do that but its funny to see Vagatha's and Husker's pissed off faces.
Alastor keeps up with the human news and learns that your father went to prison. So the Radio Demon waits for the man to fall.
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Art will be provided. (Later)
~Seline, the person.
Art
Taglist@
@ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @naelys-the-aster @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @faioula16 @pooplyface1423 @lbcreations-blog @+?
ML for Alastor🎙
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boyfiejay · 22 days
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I love my girlfriend
PAIRING : Enhypen hyung line x female Youtuber! Reader
GENRE : fluff, bullet point
Warning : curse words, me rizzing up the reader😔
Word Count : 0.9k overall
Author's Note : this was long overdue☝🏻
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Heeseung ☆
you're one of those underrated artists, that are underrated due to one sole reason
it's better to gatekeep a talented artist
yk the way some fans get sad that their favourites are now on everyone's fyp
yeah your fandom in a nutshell
they also thirst over you non stop
I mean you are stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, enchanting
just date me pookie
you used to be a youtuber before the music career fyi
imagine your fans' dilemma (dimension?) when you say out of nowhere that you have a bf
‘guys, my boyfriend sent me this :D’
and it's a silly picture of two cats or smtg
like your fans are fighting a fucking war on twt
and you are like cuddling with hee, listening to unreleased songs
you have no clue of what's going on
meanwhile heeseung…
he's ready to fight the war
posts a picture of you kissing his cheek on your insta story
he makes sure that only 1/4th of his face is visible
to keep his identity anonymous yk
your fans find his acc in 15 mins
he panics definitely 😭
tells you his innuendo after you wake up
and you're just like
‘yeah ok, sure’
WHY ARE YOU SO CHILL??
your boyfriend is getting deep fried on twt and you're like ‘el oh el’
dw your fans mean no harm
after a while they're like
‘they're cute tgt ig 😒’
Jay ☆
you're like a cooking channel
STAY W ME IK IT SOUNDS BASIC
you're like a blogger who blew up one day
because you're just soso pretty😻
alright anyways, your channel is focused around learning to cook
it's so chaotic sometimes
bcz you don't know shit about cooking
sorry if you do, let's pretend you don't >.<!!
you have almost killed yourself a dozen times
at some point people are like
‘??? how is she alive’
all thanks to your almost professional chef boyfriend
but no one has to know that ;)
anyways on like a milestone or something, you decide to cook blindfolded
bae you can barely cook with eyes open
your followers are concerned bro
like their blood pressure is rising by the minute
and like a holy light in the midst of the darkness
Jay stepped in, to save you from killing yourself fr this time
Your fans are seriously jumping around, squealing bcz he's just so soft and gentle to you :(((
but then they snap out and pretend to be angry
and you're like ‘meet my boyfie :3’
jk your fans love you two
like almost obsessed
also they're always sliding in Jay's dms
like I get it mans fine af but he's also taken
and also absolutely whipped for you 🤭
it's your world and we're just living in it…
Jake ☆
you are a gamer/streamer
your whole fan base is delusional
like so delusional, there are like hundreds and thousands of accounts claiming to be your bf/gf
but the iconic one ‘ynsboyfie’ is everywhere
like that acc is the most iconic thing in your lore
they are always there, no news of yours goes past them
always donating in your streams
and one day…
you forget to log in your priv acc
so your official acc has the comment
‘babe, you're so sweet ☹️🩷’
replying to ‘YNSBOYFIE’
???
oh your fans are livid
jokingly ofc
or maybe not
everyone on twt is like
‘who is this bitch???’
everyone hoping for his downfall
then you drop his pic
THE SWITCH UP IS INSANE
‘oh, oh, he's fiiine😏’
like I can't blame them, that's jake
but still they're supposed to be your fans
fucking snitches
my bae, pookum shmookum I would never
your fans love him
but also bully him calling him a lewser
hes so down bad he had a fan page for you
i dont blame him, i too would fangirl over you 😼
Sunghoon ☆
you're like a fitness channel
like those ones that have insane challenges
and your famous in people who have no interest in working out too
your face reveal went so viral, almost every single person knew your face
also your workouts (even tho deadly) always work so fast
people are in love with your figure and just you in general
you also upload mini vlogs once in a while
in these vlogs people noticed someone always being around you and in the back of the frame
at first they were like
‘obsessed fan😨’
but then they saw you laughing along with him in another clip
from the small clips, people couldn't see his face (bcz it's blurred) but omg the figure
the biceps, the buff and tall guy immediately steals everyone hearts
it's obvious from the clips that you're close with him
so naturally you are asked who he is and you just laugh
???
people are losing their minds woman
and you're just like ‘hehe’
they continue seeing him in your vlogs and in one clip you could see him putting his hands on your waist while you squat
you have no reaction to that
but twt…
he's getting dragged even though half of the people have no clue what's going on
you decide to take matter in your hands
and post this
with the caption ‘he's my boyfriend everyone :3’
the internet breaks
Sunghoon doesn't do his face reveal for a long time js bcz he doesn't feel like it yk
but when he does
good lord…
your fans love him
they also love how he glares at people who look at you the wrong way
you never notice that for some reason
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unknownanomoly · 1 month
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I have decided to continue the trend!~ but cats instead! I personally think the cats came out better but that's only because I have drawn cats my entire life and I never drew lambs before joining the cult of the lamb fandom. Also I wanna say a few things. I'm sorry for anyone's lambs I misgendered in the last post, also for aveloka this took me about 2 hours, one hour rough draft sketch another hour for full sketch/outline. And I think that's it for now... anyways, cats!
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@oneofthosenightbees I love Narinder's cloak so much! very creative! and also thank you for the picture of my lamb! I squealed so loud i thought I woke my family @bamsara the face was hard but I loved drawing them so much, again cloak was really fun, the cloak on like all of these Nari's were really fun to draw tbh @cotl-flower-crown I love the fluffy cloak thing, and just how angry they look! @melled42 your lamb sadly didn't get into my last post since I started following you after I made that, but I drew your Nari! I love them very much and having them as a hairless cat is very creative! I love the idea!
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@ballad-of-the-lamb I love how annoyed your Nari looks! and also their outfit was really fun! Also sorry about the lamb thing, idk which lamb to chose so i choose the first one i saw! but still, I love your Nari very much! @xmajordumps I drew them from when shamura was threatening them, I hope I did it well since you know, they were kinda covered in blood and all! but really fun shaped and all! they look so angry! (why are all the narinders so angy?) @slate021 I love drawing fluffy cats so much! I love drawing fluff in general and your Nari satisfied the fluff meter. @faery-the-diamond Yours is so simple and yet somehow so complicated, I love your AU and how the lamb is a crown and Nari pretty much needs to tend to everything in the cult, its kinda funny tbh, I love your Nari!
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@acis-arts so adorable! They look like a child, I just wanna pick them up and kidnap them! (im gonna kidnap them) @neon-virus yours looks so nice, and such like a gentleman, so handsome! Can I adopt them? And if not can I kidnap them? And if not well too bad, their mine now @seffen yours looks like it's gonna take your eyes out and then watch you slowly die of blood loss... so in other words adorable demon that I wanna hold even if it hates me! @voidheartkisses Adorable! so innocent looking! I loved drawing them, their fluff, the ears also, I've never drawn ears like that before! @alllgator-blood Just like the lamb I love the shapes and I love how your Narinder's personality is like! It's so funny! @foxritz Yours looks grumpy, maybe it's just how I drew them? but the fluff was fun and also the ears were also quite different from what I'm used to so It was also fun to draw those!
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@plenty-sheep-in-the-sea from what I know you don't have a lamb that is posted yet so sadly I couldn't draw a lamb for you in my last post! But your traumatized young Narinder is adorable! @unwri-ten I loved drawing them, they give such a sassy drag queen kinda vibe, if that make sense (?) @aubeezz Yours is adorable and fits with how I drew your lamb very well! I love the cheek fluffs! Adorable! @skyartworkzzz thank you for pointing out the gender thing, again I'm sorry about that! but moving on! Your Narinder was really fun to draw, the little cheek fluffs on the side remind me of my own narinders cheek fluffs! I also love the cloak! @rampantram Yours is absolutely lovely, I love your art style a lot! Just as fun as drawing your lamb! I look up to you a lot!
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@ghosts-and-glory can yours age or does their fur just fall out? anyways! I love your AU, the storyline is amazing and when I first found you I sat there rereading like every comic kinda thing I could find on your account like 50 different times! @aveloka-draws Yes I'm ok. No it does not take long. I loved drawing your Nari, they look confused but pissed, and yet again all Nari's look pissed no matter what, the outfit is also really fun! I love drawing your style of characters, their so pointy and fun... if that also makes sense in anyway...?
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Here is my Narinder! He's based off of a mink color point cat! So instead of being black, he's a brown cat with black smoked patterns, or known as the Siamese markings! He lost all memory of the bishops being killed and himself defeated, so Lamb helped him through it until he gained his memory back, and when he did he became a lot like Shimura. He was pretty much mindless in a way... I just wondered around aimlessly and wouldn't respond, sometimes he comes back but very rarely, Lamb worries about him a lot. the cloak was made by lamb as a welcome gift to make Nari feel for comfortable in the cult! Also the thing on Nari's finger is a butterfly! It's his butterfly friend! No name yet but if you have ideas but tell me, I'm terrible with names! Sometimes he has panic attacks which make his eyes cry blood, plus whenever he opens his third eye it instantly starts bleeding. He also has eyes on the palms of his hands but you can't see them at the moment, he can see how people die with them!
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neoarchipelago · 1 month
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Haven't properly written in a while... This writer's block is destroying me...
_-_-_-_
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Simon Riley getting hurt on his bike.
Like he has a mild crash because of a dumbass doing a U-turn and got smashed.
Bike is ruined, arm is bleeding from rubbing the asphalt. He just gets up, groaning because, shit, that bike is too weeks old. Walks like a boss but the old lady has already called 911 and is crying apologizing. Simon feels suddenly bad for his internal 'dumbass' comment. Paramedics tend to his wound, the old cop scolding him for driving in leather pants but in t-shirt.
"What kind of two half ass protection is this son?"
"What?"
Simon just feels a migraine rushing to him.
He gets a ride home from Soap who he called. Best buddy wouldn't shut up either but he loves his Johnny like his own brother so he lets him ramble.
He walks up to the elevator, saying bye to an over worried Soap who just groans and curses in his own babbling.
The elevator's doors close and silence finally settles. He runs his temple with his left hand through the balaclava, the right one holding his leather gloves and being bandaged.
His right arm stings, but he had much worse. Nothing a bit of bourbon couldn't erase. The pounding of his head needs to shut up too. The doors ding and he groans.
He walks to his apartment's door, fumbling the keys and the sound of a door slowly opening is heard behind him.
He glances back, pretty soft eyes looking in his direction. Ah yes. The neighboor.
"Hello Mr ril-... Oh god... What happened?"
He almost wants to chuckle at the worried expression.
" 'ust a scratch..." He mumbles, the words rumbling with his low tone.
But the footsteps he hears makes him sigh and he turns around looking down at the pretty Princess in front of him.
"Mr Riley! That doesn't look like a scratch... What happened?"
The pleading eyes, the worried expression does it for him, his eyes never leaving yours as he automatically mumbles:
"I crashed the bike."
Your eyes widen in shock again. He feels bad. You look even more worried now. He didn't even know that was possible and it somehow breaks his heart.
"Oh sh-...hum"
Hmm... She curses? He never heard her curse. It's adorable.
"Please tell me you're ok... Are you hurt anywhere else? Why didn't you call me? I mean-"
God that blush is cute. How can you be so cute? He wants to just put you under a glass case and keep you in there. He'd get lots of flowers and moss. You'd be his fairy-
"Mr Riley?"
She tilts her head to the side.
"I'm fine. No broken bones."
That seems enough to make her sigh of relief. But suddenly she grabs his good hand and she tugs softly towards her still open door.
"What?"
Simon is floored that this is the only thing he manages to say.
"You can't stay on your own! You just got into a crash! You need to be looked after!"
"What?"
He wants to punch himself now. Don't you know any other words Simon Riley?!
Also, why is he walking behind her like a lost puppy she's softly tugging on the leash of?
Why is he inside her apartment? With the door closed?
How did he end up sitting on the couch? With a cup of tea and cookies.
"What?" He asks again.
She giggles.
"What do you want for dinner? I'll let you decide what you want I'll go prepare the guest's bedroom!" You happily jump to your task after he nods.
Simon looks around, the warmth and cozy space, the plants and the weird cat staring at him from the window sit. He kinda looks at Simon the same way Simon is looking at him. With the same expression that says:
"What?"
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sturnsslut · 9 days
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better - matt sturniolo
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a/n - this is a filler until i’m done with my chris smut 😔. i’m sorry there’s a lot of yapping but the backstory matters !
contains - soft dom!matt x sub!reader, fighting (barley), unprotected sex, mirror sex, praise, fingering, begging, oral
summary - reader and matt make a bet !
————————————————————————————
‘ i seen your love, you got me baby ‘
it was a friday night and my boyfriend had just canceled on me last minute for the 3rd time this week. i was literally all dressed up, waiting for him to come and pick me up. i sighed when i read his message saying that he " had something come up "
bullshit.
i had a feeling he had been cheating on me for a while, but i didn't have any solid proof so i just stayed quiet. i was about to get into my pajamas when i got a text from nick saying how theyre having a party at their house tonight , and how matt would pick me up.
nick 💗
HEY
we're having a party tn
can you come
pleaseeeeee
matt can pick you up
i feel like i haven't seen you in forever
you
nick it's been 4 days 😭
but i mean
let me see
i pulled out my phone to text liam, my boyfriend . i had to make sure that we really weren't going out , so i was just double checking.
liam
Can't go
Something came up
you
bro what ??
im literally ready
why tf is this just now being brought up
liam
I don't know what you want me to do lmfao
you
im going to nicks party then
liam
Says who?
Your staying at the house
you
why are you being weird 💀
yes i am
lmfao ok dad
liam
That fucking matt kid
Your always looking at him
And he looks at you like he's
in love or some shit so no your not going
you
bro
u can't be serious
i never look at him
liam
K well
i don't want you close enough to him
so that there's even a chance something could happen
you
k.
read 10:39 pm
i laughed and rolled my eyes, he really thinks he's in control of me...i scrolled back to nicks contact and texted him
you
come get me 😝
nick
YAYYYY
we're like 5 mins away
can we come in so i can say hi to ur cat
you
omfg 😭 yea
im ready anyways cause
ofc my bf cancelled on me again
nick
girl.
you can do better
i feel like everyone knows
he's cheating on you...
you
yea me to
i just don't have any proof yet
anyways lmk when ur here
nick
okay
we're like abt to pull up
you
doors unlocked 😛
i waited until i saw their van in my driveway, and opened the door watching them walk up to my porch
immediately hugged nick and chris, but i just smiled at matt and he returned the gesture.
there had always been something, weird between me and matt. it wasn't friendship, but it wasn't hate either. it was weird.
i led nick to my room and picked up my cat, kiko, handing her to him
i walked out of my room to see chris sitting on the couch and matt just leaning against the door on his phone, like he couldn't wait to leave.
“uh you know you can sit down matt...” i said awkwardly, causing him to look up from his phone and just respond with “i know”
i shrugged it off and went back to my room where i'd left nick, and asked him what he thought of my outfit.
i asked him if he thought it was ' too formal ' for a party since it was originally an outfit for my date.
i was wearing a short black dress with spaghetti straps, my hair down and some light makeup
“girl you look hot. don't change” i smiled and went to the bathroom to touch up my makeup a little, once i was done i grabbed my bag and asked nick if we're ready to go “you ready?” i questioned, putting my bag on my arm
“yeah let's go” he said before saying bye to kiko and putting her down
“come on guys” nick said walking out of my room, resulting in everyone making their way to the door.
once we got into the van i was in the back , with nick while chris and matt were up front obviously. on the way there, i just had the urge to look up from my phone
i looked up and caught matt starring at me through the rearview mirror, he immediately looked away once he saw me though.
we eventually got to the triplets house and it was already packed. we all got out of the van and while we were making our way to the door, i asked nick “you let all these people here without you guys home?”
“yeah, justin and nate are here so it should be fine.”
i hummed in response and walked behind nick and chris, with matt behind me for some reason.
nate opened the door and dapped up matt after i walked in, and i heard him say “hot date bro”
“she's not my date” matt replied sounding slightly annoyed. nate raised a brow in confusion
“then…why..were you walking behind her? and starring at her ass, like, the entire time you were walking up…me and justin literally saw you through the window.”
i turned my head around for a quick second to see matt shushing nate and punching him (sort of) playfully on the shoulder
i felt my cheeks heat up, but why? why did i care how matt was looking at me? whatever.
i made my way to the kitchen where nick and chris were, we just gossiped about random shit.
nick was talking to chris and while i waited for my turn to speak, i looked around and saw...my boyfriend? what? he said he had an emergency?
and of course, he was making out with some skanky bitch from my school who knew we'd been dating.
i told nick i'll be right back and made my way over.
“fuck you. family emergency?? your fucking unbelievable.” i shoved him then faced the girl “and bitch as for you, he's gonna do the same shit hes doing to me right now. you aren't gonna fucking last.”
he looked totally wasted and was slurring his words, but i heard him say “you were just a good fuck. get over it.”
i looked at him in disbelief for a moment before i said something back “can't say the same for you. you have a small dick.” and with that, i walked off.
tons of people were starring at me of course, but i was too mad to even care. i made my way to the bathroom to calm down, before i heard a knock on the door.
“what the fuck do you want” i blurted out without even thinking who it could be.
“um..it's matt, can i come in?” i instantly covered my mouth feeling bad about how i had spoken to him
i unlocked the door and opened it, letting him in. “i'm sorry. i didn't know who it was” i apologized
“no no, it's okay. i just wanted to check on you and see if your okay.”
i sighed and sat down on the toilet seat while he leaned against the wall in front of the mirror
“i mean..not really, just pissed at how much time and energy i wasted on him.”
he stayed silent and didn't say anything, waiting for me to finish what i was saying “i knew he was cheating but i didn't wanna believe it, i feel fucking stupid” i continued
“your not stupid” he shrugged and continued “he's stupid for loosing someone like you.” i thanked him and sighed, resting my head in my hands
“and…if he has a small dick he's nothing to cry over” he smiled
i laughed, “he wasn't even good in bed either oh my god.” i added and laughed
"really?” matt turned his head to look at me, furrowing his brows for a second and smiling, while crossing his arms
“yeah. sorry if this is too much but like..i never finished when i was with him” i giggled at the embarrassing confession
he laughed and paused for a moment before saying “you would if you were with me”
i giggled thinking he was joking, and replied with “doubt it”
matt raised his eyebrows and locked the door, “wanna bet?”
that's when i realized he wasn't joking, i stood up and leaned against the sink infront of him " how much " i smirked at him
“ $50. i know how to use my hands, mouth, and dick. im confident i could make you cum, that's a promise.”
“fine, prove it then” i said nodding my head
“don't start shit you can't finish. im serious.” he said looking me in my eyes
“so am i, i wanna see if you can put your money where your mouth is”
“ y/n ,” he said smiling and shaking his head , leaning into me, resting one of his hands on the sink
“matt.” i responded teasingly
he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his dick, making me feel his giant boner
“you see what your doing to me? i will fuck you until you can't even remember his name.”
“do it then” i smirked, ' he's all talk ' is what i was thinking, until he firmly placed his lips on mine
it was quick to turn sloppy, he picked me up and set me on the edge of the sink so i was perfectly aligned with his dick
he started making his way down slowly by leaving hickeys all down my neck, i wrapped my fingers in his hair and tugged it slightly, but not too hard
that's when he lifted up my dress and placed one of his hands on my waist, while the other rubbed my clit through my underwear
he was looking me in my face but i was so needy for more of him, that i couldn't even look him in the eyes.
“what? you can't take it anymore?” he smirked at me, still making eye contact and then inching his hand fully down my panties sticking two fingers inside me
(guys i giggled at panties but i didn't know what other word to use)
i bit my lip slightly taking a deep breath in at the amount of pleasure i was in. even tho all he did was tease me, it felt amazing. like he had this power over me.
he started moving his fingers slow, but picked up the pace fast. i threw my head back in pleasure, while my hands grabbed at his shoulders.
fuck. maybe he could make me cum after all .
as good as it felt, i needed a break because if he fingered me for any longer, i would've lost $50.
i grabbed his hand and pulled it away and hopped off of the counter, immediately getting on my knees
i began to unzip his pants when he suddenly stops me and grabs my chin, raising my head and making me look at him
“i don't know if your ready..” he said looking at me with a smirk
i rolled my eyes smiling slightly, and continued undoing his pants "okay..." he answered, throwing his hands up in surrender
i pulled his pants down to his ankles and then looked up to see his boxers, and i could obviously see his giant print
i pulled down his boxers , revealing an easy 9 inches. i started at it for a few seconds before shrugging and shoving in 6 inches or so
as i switched between my hands and my mouth, i swirled my tongue around his tip causing him to let out a low groan
“shit ..” he threw his head back in pleasure and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pushing himself further into my mouth
i felt it in the back of my throat. i heard him mumbling all types of swear words, and at that point he's basically just fucking my throat
“how was that” say standing up to face him, smirking up at him still catching my breath
“your really good” he smirked at me, before picking me up and setting me back on the sink again “your turn”
he pulls out of the kiss and bends down slightly, resting his hands on my inner thighs, spreading my legs a little
“let me do this for you, all you need to do is hold your legs up. but if you can't handle it, just put em on my shoulders, okay?” he says looking me in my eyes, all i could do at that point was just nod eagerly, hopefully showing how bad i needed him.
and with that, he starts to go down on me. i arched my back unintentionally, i don't know what came over me, but i couldn't help myself. it just felt like he belonged there
this man wasn't lying when said he knows how to make a girl beg, not even close to a lie.
i grabbed a handful of his hair and arched my back again when i felt him start to suck on my clit
i slapped my hand over my mouth, remembering how there's other people around.
he took his hand off of my thigh and removed my own hand from my mouth, “don't cover your mouth sweetheart. i wanna know if im doing good”
i shook my head in agreement and grabbed the back of his shirt, needing some sort of support
i can't explain it, but i swear i felt him smirk when i grabbed him, like he knew he was pleasing me so good.
i never knew i needed him, but i do now. his tongue felt so good on me, it just felt right.
i moaned slightly louder than before “shit…” i threw my head back and bit my lip slightly
i started whimpering out of pleasure trying to catch my breath, his tongue was going everywhere and somehow he made every spot feel amazing .
i felt myself get close, but i needed to feel him inside of me. “wait wait wait” i mumbled trying to catch my breath
“what is it baby?” he said looking up at me “ i…fuck hold on.” said panting
“ i want you to fuck me , please matt.” i said in between breaths
“how bad?” he said smirking at me and looking me in my eyes, “tell me how bad you want me.”
“i need you so bad, please” i pleaded, i just wanted him in me and nothing else, him and him only is all i needed.
“good girl.” and with that, he fully stood up and grabbed his dick
he held his tip up to my entrance, running his head up and down my folds causing whimpers to leave both of our mouths. he knowing how bad he was teasing me, but this man was rock hard.
“matt, i want you to fuck me and i know you do to , stop teasing please” i was literally begging this man to just destroy me
he shrugged “i'll try not to stretch you out too much sweetheart.” and with that, he pushed himself inside me without warning, and wow i wasn't ready.
it's like i was so horny i forgot how big he was.
he shoved all of his length inside me , all 9 inches. i cried out in pleasure
he placed his hands on my waist so he could go deeper and guide me , “oh fuck” i muttered and immediately clamped my eyes shut
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin, making me look at him. “look at me, i wanna see how good i make you feel . do i make you feel good, pretty?”
“mhm” i whimpered and shook my head because i couldn't even speak.
“use your words baby. do i?” he spoke firmly, still not breaking eye contact
“yes, yes you make me feel good” i mumbled
“good.” he spoke in a fierce tone as his tip hit my g-spot perfectly each time, making me throw my head back
i heard him say “hey baby, you wanna take off that dress?” he suggested
i nodded while he pulled out and i hopped off of the sink, slipping my dress off
i looked over at matt who was literally starring down my body, “what?” giggled getting flustered
“nothing…you just amaze me. your body is so perfect” he said, still starring me down
i laughed and rolled my eyes and asked if he was ready again, “for you, always. are you?” he emphasized
i bent over the sink and replied “obviously.” he snickered and grabbed my hips, making sure he was perfectly aligned.
i felt him pound himself into me, which, i again for some reason still wasn't used to how big he is.
i had my hands on the sink for support, and when he put himself inside me, i put my head down because it felt so good
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin again and lifted up my head , looking at me through the mirror.
“uh uh. i want you to see how good your taking me.”
i nodded looking at him in the mirror
i watch him look down and smile while furrowing his brows
“you didn't tell me you had a back tattoo baby . it looks good”
“you never ..” i paused as i struggled to get my words out “mm fuck...asked”
“fair enough ..oh fuck” he threw his head back and his thrusting started to get more aggressive
his hand crept up to my neck, placing a firm grip on my neck which sent me over the edge
“matt..baby i can't do it” i said shaking my head while looking at him in the mirror
“yes you can, take it like you said you would.” i nodded and did as he told me
i suddenly felt that knot in my stomach, so i reached behind me and grabbed matts hand from my waist and put it on the sink so that his hand was over mine, and we interlocked our fingers
“you alright? are you gonna cum already? come on, your too easy to please baby .” he asked in a teasing tone, looking at me and smirking
like of course i was . and he obviously knew , he just thought that it was funny to tease me.
“fuck ..matt im gonna-“ i was cut off by me releasing onto his dick, "oh shit " i said looking down, i was relieved that a man had actually made me finish, but now i needed to give matt $50 i didn't have ...
“good job baby , you did great” he was literally panting at this point. i could tell was close, just trying not to show it.
i decided to tease a little and see how long he could last.
“you make me feel so good baby” i said looking at him in the mirror
“thats g..fuck” he threw his head back and starting thrusting harder
“you look so good from here” i teased a little more since he thinks when he does it, it's hilarious. i saw him open this mouth to say something but instead just bite the side of his cheek and stay quiet
“ i don't care how long it takes you baby, my body is all yours.”
“fuck .. mm oh shit ...in or out”
without answering, i got on my knees and started to jerk him off to his release while looking up at him
“oh shit. fuck..fuck” he lets out a huge loud of cum and i swallow, i dont need a mess.
i get back up and try my best to fix my hair while looking at myself in the mirror, while matt's leaning against the wall panting
i pickup my shoes without even bothering to put them back on , i just re-adjust my dress and forget about everything else.
my hair is all out of place, my lipstick is smeared, my mascara running down my face..i was a mess. but it was totally worth it.
i sit on the toilet seat while matt puts his pants back on.
maybe liam was right. cause we definitely fucked...
“i don't need the $50." matt said suddenly smiling at me, “you ready? you still look good by the way.”
“whatever. let's go” i laughed and rolled my eyes, opening the door
“liam's gonna be so pissed.” i laughed looking back at matt
“i know” he smiled “can't wait to see the look on his face.”
i giggled as we made our way over to liam , who was making out with a different girl.
we stood infront of him and looked at eachother laughing , and as soon as we did we opened his eyes and looked like he'd just seen a ghost
“hi” i said in a teasing voice , tilting my head while doing so
" what the fuck? " he looked back at me and matt in confusion, furrowing his brows like he didn't know what was going on.
" yea so you were kinda right about me and matt ..." i said trying not to burst out laughing
" you fucking whore! " he yelled , gaining the attention of tons of people. they started recording the situation because of how loud he was. "i knew you were cheating on me you slimy little b-" he got cut off as he got sent to the floor.
matt punched him.
i covered my mouth in shock but also resisting the urge to not laugh "your..." liam paused , feeling his nose as it gushed blood everywhere "dead." he continued
" okay , well it's kinda hard to take that threat serious when your on ground"
everybody around us started laughing, apparently nobody liked liam , but it's obvious why.
“your not a real man! y-“ i cut him off before he could finish his sentence, “well he fucks like one. get up and get over it. truth hurts.”
i pat his shoulder and flashed him a faux sympathy smile, before he swatted my hand away causing me to laugh
we walked over to chris and nick who were recording everything on their phones " hey uh, are you guys ready to pack this up " matt asked them
" yup , i'll get nate and justin to get everyone out." nick said as he walked away
" dude what the fuck ..." chris giggled as he looked at me and matt " i fucking knew it! nick owes me $20".
"you..made a bet?" i asked , confused
" fuck yea we did" he replied stuffing his mouth with food before walking off
“ so like..do you wanna be my girlfriend...or whatever" matt asked me , looking down at the ground
" duh ." i smiled and kissed him before going to find nick so i could help clean the mess up
" we're literally never having a party again." nick complained as we all shoved trash into trash bags
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a/n - um lmk if you wanna be on my tag list 🤗.
@mattssluttygf
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astonmartinii · 9 months
Note
i hope your finger’s ok!! please take all the time you need and remember you health comes first :) imma be selfish and send you a charles request cause ur writing makes me smile at my phone like an idiot and i can’t help it :p ok so!! charles x versteppen reader? shes max’s sister and drives for redbull (cause im delulu like that) and they’ve been fighting w each other since they were kids (no one knows why they started arguing they’re j petty and refuse to give it up even though they dk what they’re arguing abt anymore) and obvs they’re in love w each other - maybe another drivers flirting w her or smth and charles j snaps and hard launches the reader cause surprise they’ve been dating each other 🤭 holy shit this is long sorry for rambling 🙏🙏
angel baby, devil child | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader
enemies to lovers blah blah blah
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,743,200 others
yourusername: crazy, crazy race. sorry not sorry to the tifosi, tell ur girl @charles_leclerc to kiss my ass not my rear tyre xoxo
view all comments
user1: okay they're clearly still in the enemies phase... when can we skip to lovers
user2: i personally love that charles is the mortal enemy of both verstappen siblings that's so slay of him
maxverstappen1: crop me out again and say goodbye to a tow in qualifying
yourusername: sorry maxy, not my fault i got all the photogenic genes xx
maxverstappen1: erm rude @christianhorner tell her to stop bullying me
yourusername: two can play at that game @sebastianvettel tell max to stop being a baby
user3: the way neither christian or seb replied they really don't get paid enough to deal with them
charles_leclerc: what is it with verstappens and their love for pushing me off the track
yourusername: what is it with your front wing and my rear tyre
charles_leclerc: umm i asked you first
yourusername: stop deflecting babe, we all know you love my ass so much you wanted a touch
charles_leclerc: i'd rather deep fry my hands than touch your rear
maxverstappen1: that can be arranged
user4: can't wait for these three to all be in the same press conference next week 🍿
carlossainz55: my favourite person to share the podium with
yourusername: thanks chilli (@tifosi you heard it here sainz is against ferrari 1-2s)
carlossainz55: NO that's not what i meant
landonorris: i see how it is ... god all men are the same AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU?
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,204,809 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my bestest friend, biggest rival and favourite roommate. though maybe now you're 23 you can get your own place so you can sneak out to meet up with your secret boyfriend on your own terms and can keep that massive ballsack away from jimmy and sassy. i love you and verstappen dominance 4 ever.
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user7: i love y/n but i think she should bring her cat to races as a scare tactic
yourusername: wrinkle doesn't appreciate your tone but it is duly noted
yourusername: awwwwwwwww i love you maxy !! and you're never getting rid of your little sister unless you get married and ur a big fat nerd so that's never happening xx
maxverstappen1: attacking me after i just bought you a whole ass car
yourusername: i JOKE. thank you soooo much and you'll never get rid of me you love me too much to anyway.
maxverstappen1: enough to finally introduce me to the mystery man?
yourusername: blocked.
user8: are we all just ignoring her doing her literal eyeliner with a knife?
user9: or the fact that max likely walked in and was like oh wait this is a sick shot
danielricciardo: oh no that was me, i'm still traumatised but it's probably the best photo i've ever taken
yourusername: easy to do with a model like me
charles_leclerc: wtf is that thing in the last one
yourusername: rude of you to think ur balls look any nicer
charles_leclerc: what?
yourusername: what?
user10: does anyone want to elaborate?
carlossainz55: happy birthday y/n !
yourusername: thanks carlos, thank you for the flowers 👍
user11: this is either their way of flirting or y/n really couldn't give a flying fuck about carlos' obvious crush on her
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,098,560 others
yourusername: another trip around the sun and still following my brother around, difference is now i beat him x
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user16: your honour i am so obsessed with her
maxverstappen1: can't even be angry about it, you deserve the world
yourusername: you softy, i love you
maxverstappen1: also dummy i know who your boyfriend is now did you guys forget that we LITERALLY LIVE TOGETHER
yourusername: i was intoxicated my bad but we bought you breakfast?
maxverstappen1: literally the only reason he hasn't gone over the balcony, he might want to be gone before this hangover wears off
yourusername: noted.
user17: yall want to share with the class?
user18: based on ^^ this reaction i'm going to say it's not carlos
user19: watch out he'll drop a shit pick-up line in a second and be rejected
carlossainz55: hope you enjoyed your birthday beautiful
user20: bro this guy STINKS
user19: i told yall
yourusername: thank you carlos
user21: i'm sorry this is dry as hell it can't be carlos
charles_leclerc: my shoes will never recover, i'll be sending an invoice your way
yourusername: you're a millionaire boo, you can replace those tacky white trainers yourself
charles_leclerc: is having no manners a verstappen trait?
yourusername: come for max all you want, but the birthday girl? low leclerc
charles_leclerc: when you go low i go lower
yourusername: oh believe me i know all about you and going down
user22: DO YALL MIND?
user23: do they think we're dumb?
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, lancestroll and 1,204,674 others
charles_leclerc: a weekend without racing?
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user24: what is biden doing about the soft launch pandemic?
user25: well this is oddly timed ...
yourusername: you look like you'd have sweaty hands
charles_leclerc: wouldn't you like to know
yourusername: unlike all ur fangirls i've actually smelt you sweaty after a race so you can keep your hands to yourself
maxverstappen1: you heard her 🤨
charles_leclerc: why are you here? is this a 2 for 1 deal on annoying dutch people
yourusername: you can call him annoying all you want, but you love me don't lie
charles_leclerc: my lawyer says i shouldn't comment on that ;)
sebastianvettel: when will you two stop?
yourusername: sorry seb :(
charles_leclerc: sorry seb :(
user26: i know carlos is sick reading this weird flirting when y/n never comments on his pics
user27: she comes here just to flirt cause she didn't even like the photo
user28: she doesn't even follow him 😭
pierregasly: i love a slow burn as much as the next person BUT NOT WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS PICK UP THE PHONE
charles_leclerc: you're so dramatic, nobody knows calmar
maxverstappen1: he's lying i do
pierregasly: WHAT
charles_leclerc: by ACCIDENT i didn't tell him by choice
user29: so like, it's definitely y/n LOL
user30: oh no everyone get ready marca is going to run a story tomorrow about how charles leclerc is ruining carlos' career with psychological warfare by flirting with the girl he likes
user31: sainz sr about to wage war lol
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,304,889 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: i don't share. i love you. please follow me on instagram now (and let me come on max's jet) x
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user35: HOLY FUCK
user36: they're so fucking sexy my lord
yourusername: you're so weak, one teammate flirts with me and you hard launch, i've had 12 year olds use me as a face claim to pretend they're pregnant with your child
charles_leclerc: they took your face? i happen to quite like it, can they give it back?
yourusername: quite?
charles_leclerc: don't make me look bad you know i positively LOVE YOUR FACE
yourusername: and my ass since it's all you look at on track
charles_leclerc: okay you can drop the act now people know we're in love stop being mean to me :(
yourusername: but it's true, no?
charles_leclerc: rest assured i love your actual ass much more
maxverstappen1: believe me the people she lives with know WAY too much about how much you love it
user37: carlos sainz really thought he had a chance when these fools have been together for TWO years
sebastianvettel: congratulations you two, glad we don't have to watch you two trying to be subtle now
maxverstappen1: so wait when did you find out?
sebastianvettel: about two weeks into the relationship, they were very obvious
yourusername: thank you for keeping our secret dad <3
user38: y/n really said you ARE my grid dad
yourusername: oh no that's my actual dad
charles_leclerc: he's literally going to walk y/n down the aisle
maxverstappen1: please don't tell me you're engaged? i only just got over you actually being together
charles_leclerc: i'm not your brother yet don't worry (i will be soon)
carlossainz55: congrats guys
user39: it's okay bro you can cry
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,301,541 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: two years with the love of my life, still on max's side on val d'argenton x
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user40: they're disgusting (when will it happen to me)
charles_leclerc: we'll have to agree to disagree
yourusername: just admit it you love to push verstappens off the track
charles_leclerc: sorry babe as much as i love you, i'll never let you win x
yourusername: good thing i always beat you then x
charles_leclerc: either way victory sex still bangs
user41: yes, yes they're cute, but i need a full on play-by-play of how this relationship came to be
user42: i know these menaces were giggling and kicking their feet every time they had an argument in comment sections
yourusername: oh it was very fun
charles_leclerc: but the radio messaged are 100% real lol
maxverstappen1: thanks for having my back, you're welcome for all the gross pictures i've taken for you guys
yourusername: consider your payment like every meal i make us
maxverstappen1: well if i did it f1 would be down three drivers
user43: wait so does charles basically live with them now?
maxverstappen1: unfortunately yes. depressing music, even worse cooking than me and horrendously loud sex with my sister. i should kick him out
charles_leclerc: i literally bought you noise-cancelling headphones?
maxverstappen1: nothing you can say will save me from this trauma
yourusername: just shag daniel and get off of our case x
note: ahhhhh i am so sorry this request took so long, my inbox keeps moving stuff around lol. my finger is good thanks for asking, the human body is a wonder and i peeled off the last of my scab this week lol. i hope this was the kinda thing you were looking for !! xx
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orionangeline · 2 years
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Venting a little lol
#the medicine im gonna be taking says to take w food so earlier I got extra snacks for in my room right so I wouldn't have to go all the way#to the kitchen on my ouchy bee leg extra times ok#but now im like 30 minutes away from snacks n medicine time and i am. having such a difficult time not eating all of my snacks now lmao#ive got delicious delicious cold pizza sitting all lonesome on my nightstand and I have to ignore it -_-#i rewarded myself for my dr visit with a cute little cactus knickknack light thing and a hotwheels car#i. don't loooooove going to the dr tbh#like no reason for it#i just like idk always feel like I have no idea wtf is even going on until the dr is like ok here's what u need. there's the lobby#in this case its antibiotics no big deal but like#is it weird to have a burning curiosity about like what my height and weight and idk blood pressure is?#i mean i know my height and i actually read my weight on the scale but like i neeeeeed to see what my files say#did. you guys know#that in middle school i went to the dr bc my back hurt and like they sent me to like a chiropractor or something that popped my spine#and i felt better. anyway like six years at least later i went back bc my back was sore again and I had a new dr#and she was like. so this fusion in ur spine? was that a surgery or??#and I was like. FUSION??? in my SPINE?? O-O#anyway its congenital and not an issue but like yeah...feel like that should have been mentioned to me or someone#no one else in the family knew about it either lmao#actually I should get someone to pop my spine again#i just think if my cat laid on the small of my back for a few minutes. that would fix me#iiiiiiiii had an energy drink with dinner
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living w schlatt hcs
guys im down so bad this week and with today's p.o. unboxing i fear it only got worse. anyways i just had a bunch of thoughts ab what it would be like to live w schlatt while y'all are dating. so these are my hcs. (also i am like incredibly new to writing original material so lmk if this is any good fr)
-this is not the first or last time this will be said but this man is an ass grabber. as soon as he knows it's something you're okay with? he's doing it. not in public, bc in my head he's not big on PDA, but when you're at home? every time he passes by you it's a grab of the ass and a big cheesy grin and he sometimes even a kiss on the cheek
-again, not the first time anyone has mentioned this, but this man is giant. 6'4. so he's def a big fan of the hug from behind. he likes to tower over you and kiss the top of your head. whether you're cooking, cleaning, looking out the window, or admiring jambo on his cat tree; he will come up and squeeze you into a hug from behind with no warning.
-"toots, come here rq" just to ask for a kiss while he's working or editing. simply as motivation to keep going. he says "it's like a reward" and you happily oblige.
-since he doesn't really stream anymore, he doesn't play a lot of video games, but when he does, he lets you sit in his lap as long as you sit still and don't distract him... (obviously you do sometimes... not your fault you have needs and he looks so cute when he's focused...)
-the drunk chuckle sandwich episode had me thinking about you playing bartender for him and making him different drinks to try since he usually just drinks straight from the bottle. he would say some shit like "i'm ngl i didn't know you could make it taste that good." bc nobody ever really bothered to make him try different cocktails until you
-super domestic dancing in the kitchen to old music. duke ellington and etta james and all different kinds of jazz and old love songs, it doesn't matter bc he is spinning you around and kissing you softly as it plays in the background while he sings to you.
-not to be cringe but he would sooo be into that thing those couples do when the smaller partner says "uppies!" and then the other one picks them up. except it would just be a look you give him and putting your arms out with a grabby motion and he would know.(bc im sorry the thought of saying uppies makes me wanna gag) he would pick you up and carry you around like a koala with your legs wrapped around his torso AND he's happy to do it. but just at home bc like i said he's not really into pda.
-he would so take candid pics of you at golden hour. you'd just be in the living room looking out the window with jambo or {redacted} and admiring the sunset and next thing you know there's a disposable camera or the little girl camera right in your face. he would so say some stupid shit to get you to laugh and then snap the picture. but once he gets one, you force him to hop in the frame while holding the other cat so you can get a cute little family pic while the lighting is good. obviously, you made it your background within the next ten minutes. and he made his background the candid picture of you the second he got the pictures onto his phone.
ok so hi!! i hope these fed you a little im so incredibly new to this whole writing thing but this was a lot of fun for me so if you have any suggestions i think my ask box is open? idk how those work but im sure i can figure it out. thanks for reading i know i yapped quite a bit LMAO
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