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sweetracha · 7 months

Note

Sigh.. so I know you probably have so many Felix request coming in butttt.. I wanted to ask if you could Felix with a s/o that falls into subspace easily (don’t judge me.. 😓) and Felix guiding them through it? Soft dom felix? (His insta live got me soft for him 😖)

(P.S Im a shy annie and since I chat on your blog the most I’m only brave enough to ask you 😤)

-☁️

Oh my little cloud!!!! Don't be shy sweetie! I'm right here, I won't bite! You can always talk here! and there is never any judgment in the bakery!

Felix was well aware of your tendency to fall into subspace. Honestly, it was one of the parts he loved most about you.

The first time it happened he stopped the session to bring you out of it. Afterward, you two had a long discussion about the situation. He wanted to make sure you were okay with the session continuing while you were in his headspace. The pride that filled his chest when you agreed made him want to cry. You trusted him enough to have him see you at your most vulnerable. You knew Felix would care for you.

"Shhh baby, so close now. Just let go for me, princess. Let Lix take care of you." He whispered as he bound your wrists together behind your back.

"Lix, I--I…" You stuttered and mushed your words together.

"What is it baby, someone is already losing her words? She is already lost in that empty head of hers? It's okay baby. I know you are, that's why I am here to take care of you. Can I take care of you, baby?"

"Yes---please"

"So polite baby, always remembers her manners even when she is so deep down in her fuzz."

Felix was pulling your second orgasm of the night when he noticed a change in your eyes. Water brimmed the edges and threatened to spill over.

"Baby, I know you are so sweet right now. My soft little subby baby. Lix needs to know your color, okay?" He was met with a blank glass expression. A few gentle taps to your cheeks caught your attention.

"Color, my sweet girl"

"Gr--gre-green" It almost came out like a question.

"Are you sure baby? I need to know you understand what you are saying. If you say green, what does that mean" He made sure to keep a hand on you at all times, knowing skin-to-skin brings you back to reality.

"Means I am good. I feel good. Continue." While what you said was broken, Felix understood.

His cocked worked his way in and out of you. He liked keeping an eye on your face when you were in his headspace. It eased him knowing he could see your thoughts so clearly. Words were hard, but your face never lied.

"Fuck I can feel you clenching, wanna cum? Does the sweet girl wanna cum all over my cock? Be a good girl and finish. Do what you were made to do, baby. Please me."

He finished on your stomach not long after you came down from your high. When he came back, soft tears trickled down your face.

"shh baby, What is wrong my sweet girl?" Felix knew how emotional you could get once it was all done. He wanted to avoid you dropping.

"I'm not needed, Lix doesn't need me" You hiccuped

"Baby, is this because I said you were made to please me?" A soft nod came from you. "Baby that job isn't over. You please me every day, even by just being you! It doesn't mean you are my sex doll, okay? You are my sweet girl."

"Promise?"

"I promise baby. Can you do me a favor? Can you tell me where you are? Maybe tell me some things you see?" Felix wanted to ease you out of it, a harsh snap would be too much.

You answered his questions and it was like he could see the fog leave your eye.

"I'm back Lixie" you giggled "Enough with 20 questions"

"Okay okay, one more though. Bath or shower?"

#🍑 answers #☁️ anon #stray kids #skz #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #Lee Felix #Felix Smut #Felix Fluff

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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Am I (27m) the asshole for wanting my boyfriend (28m) to be attracted to me?

This involves sex as a topic but won't get explicit, I'll keep it vague. I'm asexual. Completely sex repulsed in a physical sense, mostly due to autistic sensory issues. I've never had any interest in sex and didn't have any libido at all before going on testosterone, so the way most allosexuals tend to view and think of sex is something I've always struggled to understand.

In previous relationships, my asexuality was handled in different ways depending on the person. One boyfriend was totally fine just not having a sexual aspect to our relationship, another one had a hookup he got my approval on. The compromise me and my last boyfriend came up with was that he'd text me his fantasies about me and that did a lot for him without me having to physically be in the situation, and even if I didn't get anything sexual out of it I did enjoy it. It was a confidence boost. I dont generally consider myself attractive or desirable, i wear sweaters in summer because im so self conscious, and this compromise actually did a lot to help me see myself in a different light.

I recently got into a new relationship and, as with every relationship I've been in, there's inevitably a discussion about how we're going to compromise on this issue. My new boyfriend didn't know anything about asexuality and barely understood when I explained but he's very insistent about not crossing my boundaries, which I appreciate. But the problem is, since he'd never considered sexuality from a less direct angle, he didn't really know where to even start with ideas when we were trying to work out a compromise. So, I started making suggestions, thinking back to what worked for other people I'd dated. Just abstaining wasn't going to be doable for him so I didn't suggest it, and he wouldn't be comfortable with a hookup.

I remembered my ex used to be able to get something out of telling me about his fantasies so I asked if that was something he'd be into. I wasn't angling to try to get him to agree to something, I genuinely just wanted to know whether or not that was an option to consider. He didn't actually answer at first, he went quiet and then he answered the question with another question and asked "wouldn't something like that make you uncomfortable?" And I said "no, because the physical component is the thing I have issues with, not the subject matter itself. So long as I don't have to directly engage in the situation, I'm golden."

I don't know if this is something that was really stupid of me to say and my autistic ass just didn't realize, but since he's so careful about my boundaries and comfort and tends to fret, I thought his problem in the moment was worry that I'd be making myself uncomfortable in an attempt to meet his needs. So I hurried to reassure him and said not only would it not make me uncomfortable, I'd enjoy it in a way. Not sexually, but I enjoy knowing that my partner is attracted to me. It makes me feel good about myself.

He got really upset. He doesn’t get upset easily and hadn't ever gotten properly upset with me before (at least not to this extent) so I was very taken aback, but I was floored by his reason for being upset. Not word for word, but he essentially said "so basically you want me to frustrate myself to feed your ego?"

I was, I think understandably, completely fucking appalled by such a suggestion. I said of course not, I was just suggesting something I knew worked for someone else because even if it wasn't his thing, we could narrow down options by process of elimination. Which made logical sense, to me. He wasn't calmed though, he started saying things like "so, you want your partner to be attracted to you even though you never plan on actually letting them act on that attraction? Do you see how cruel that is?" And... I don’t know, which is why I'm submitting this here. Is that cruel?

From my perspective, I would think it's only natural to want to know your partner finds you attractive, doesn't everyone want to be wanted to some degree? I don't get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it as he seemed to be implying, and I don't want it to impact my partners in a negative way. If this was something he would find frustrating then no, of course I wouldn't want him to frustrate himself, we could look at other options. When I made the suggestion, I figured the worst that would happen was he'd say no and we'd narrow down the list of options. I never imagined my moral character would be called into question.

He's usually so, so nice to me and it hit really hard for someone who’s usually so fond of me to say I sounded selfish and vain. Both actual words he used when this devolved into an argument. I explained my reasoning for suggesting it to begin with but he said the issue isn’t the suggestion, it's that he thinks that it's fucked up of me to want my partner to be attracted to me when I'm not going to indulge that attraction and it makes him wonder if I'm really a different, worse person deep down and he's only now getting to see it. He called it a red flag. That seemed like such a leap to me but I don't want to dismiss the suggestion out of hand. Many bad people think they're good people, so it's not out of the question.

This was our first real argument, previous disagreements had been talked out very calmly but emotions ran high with this one. I dont know if this is something that triggered him for deeper reasons, considering his reaction was so intensely out of the norm for him, or if the whole thing just looks entirely different from the perspective of someone who isn't sex repulsed.

Am I the asshole here? Is it really as fucked up as he says that I enjoy knowing my partner is attracted to me even though I won't agree to have sex with them?

We didn't discuss the topic any more that night, and it hasn't been brought up since. He hasn't been treating me differently than before, but he's always proactively apologized before when he was in the wrong about things and he hasn't this time, so to me that says he still stands by what he said. His words have stuck with me and they’re eating at me. I feel like such a horrible person, and I have no idea if I should feel more or less guilty about this.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend is upset that I like knowing my partners are attracted to me even though I don't want to and don't intend to have sex with them bc he thinks that's majorly fucked up and a red flag.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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agirlwithglam · 13 days

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Hi!! I hope I'm not disturbing you but I wanted to ask how do I work hard. Because when I was younger I got really good marks without trying and now the subjects are hard and social media is distracting but I can't seem to delete it. This is also why my grades are even low then before and I'm really afraid to disappoint my parents (being the eldest daughter doesn't help). So can you please just give me some pointers on how can I actually study and not just cry because I don't know how to. Have a great day!! <3

literally omg. is this past me asking me a question?? like actually u have no idea how much i relate and understand this. the "gifted child" who always got good grades without needing to study now finds things more difficult. i know many people have said this, but i actually have been through this not too long ago. i hope these tips help <3

how to work hard + actually study (realistic)

forget hard work. at least do the work! (its so funny because i literally had a post about this all ready in my drafts about to get posted, so i'll keep this short and link the post.) stop focussing on doing hard work like studying 24/7. just put in the basic necessities you need to get a better grade. hard work post link

use the disappointment and embarrassment as fuel. (basically find a very strong why) (mini story-ish thing coming up, skip to the blue text for the actual advice) i still remember the day i got such a bad score on my math and science test, i was FURIOUS at myself and i cried about it! telling it to my parents was one of the hardest things i had to do and feeling their disappointment was even worse. but that became my turning point. i was so ashamed of myself and i resented me so much that i basically just told myself "i dont freaking care what you feel *with distaste*. you brought this on yourself you failure" (a bit very harsh, yes i know) but the way i studied that week- i studied more than i every had before! also doing this doesnt really lower my self esteem a whole lot, but if it does with you, please be gentle with yourself. : so what i'm trying to say it; use that feeling of shame and disapointment as a fuel, a motivation. The big “why”.

ALTER EGOOOSSSS. this helps SOOOO MUCH its so underrated. embody the energy of your fav people who are the academic inspiration you wanna be! example: rory gilmore, paris geller, elle woods, blair waldorf, etc etc! not only is this so helpful but it also makes it so much more fun and easier!!

parent yourself. i used to tell myself to do stuff like "go study now!" or "get up lazy-butt" but in my mind. but what if you tried to say those stuff out loud to yourself? it just creates a whole new level of real. So start telling yourself to do stuff out loud.

honestly just start. stop letting yourself think about how "uncomfortable" and how "annoying" it will be. All you need to know is that you need to get it done. Right? Ok. So now what’s the next smallest step you can take to getting to do the unwanted task? It may be taking out your material, opening your book, etc.

( !! tough love, but very important rant coming up)

You privileged brat. Your parents gave up EVERYTHING so you could have the education that you are having. They worked so so hard for YOU. So YOU can have the life you want. And all for what? Just for you to throw it all away and say “oh im lazy”. HELL NAH.

And also, do you realise how fortunate you are to be even living in such a time/ era where you have access to basically EVERYTHING? You’re stuck on something? You could easily search it up!! And whats more is that you can further learn. You can search up and find out more about the thing that you’re studying, become the smartest person in your class, get so ahead in life. I hope you realise that if you do use all the resources and materials and help that’s been given to you, just imagine how far you could go! Further than Albert Einstine, Elon Musk, etc. you may be like “what! No that’s gonna be too hard!” But did they have the tools that you have right at your hand? No! They made it all the way with just simple stuff and having to work super hard. But you live in a time where you can do TWICE as much without working as hard!!

And one more thing, QUIT WHINING. “Oh school is so hard!” “Oh school is so boring!” Like whattt???? You are so FORTUNATE and LUCKY to be even getting access to such education! MILLIONS of kids out there would kill to be able to learn what you are so easily dismissing right now. So TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WHAT YOU HAVE. Put your ALL, your very BEST into studying and getting good grades because THAT is whats gonna take you so SO far in life.

Thank you very much, *mic drop*. (i still ly pookie)

dealing with social media:

put the screen time widget on your phone home screen. i did this, and i became so embarrassed by the amount of screen time i had in one day (*cough* 12 hours *cough*) that i made certain to stop using it as much.

screen time limits. this may or may not help you, bc i know that when i knew the screen time password, it didn't do a lot of help but when someone else did (like parents or someone you trust), then it definitely worked. this is probably only best if you're a child around under 14 ish bc thats around the age when most parents put screen time limits + after that age you're gonna be a lot more independent.

more *extremely* helpful resourses:

tips to decrease your phone screen time by @imbusystudying

how to reduce your screen time in the digital age? (an article)

studying tips from a straight-A student by @universalitgirlsblog2

how to study like paris geller by @4theitgirls

more blogs i recomend:

@elonomhblog @mindfulstudyquest @study-diaries @thatbitchery

xoxo, vanilla

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perfectsunlight · 1 year

Text

(𝟒𝟑) - 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐲

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: n/a

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

CHOI Y/N: THE OTHER WOMAN?

YU JIMIN, A CHEATER? RUMORS SAY OTHERWISE.

RUMORS OF AESPA’S KARINA AND WINTER BREAKING UP

WINRINA BREAKUP? - WHAT WE KNOW SO FAR:

minjeong scrolled through each headline, blood boiling and the scowl on her face only deepened. she hated this. she hated how everyone was assuming that jimin was cheating, and that her relationship was over. all because of you.

you.

winter clenched her jaw as she remembered the conversation she had with jimin, right before she left for her photoshoot with you in paris.

“minjeong, can you please just try talking to her?”

the blonde girl rolled her eyes. the last thing she wanted to do was talk to you, much less talk to you in public. she would rather go back to doing planks in a sauna.

“jimin, im not doing it.” she spat, venom clear in her tone. karina’s hand ran through her hair. she was well aware that the other girl was going to be difficult, and remain an immovable force when it came to this matter. the aespa leader was well aware of these factors, and yet she decided to continue pressing.

however, minjeong did not budge.

“i don’t care. i’m not talking to her, especially since she’s the one getting all the hate. we’re fine! our group is fine!” the younger girl threw her hands in the air for emphasis, her brows knit together in frustration. she didn’t understand why karina was still pushing for this.

unless it was to protect you.

slowly, winter’s head turned to face the taller girl. her eyes scanned over karina’s face, as if she was trying to find any trace of a lie that would be painted across her features.

“are you asking me to do this because you care about her?”

jimin’s throat went dry, and she poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue. her mind was contemplating how to answer this pointed question. if she said she did care about you, even as just a friend, minjeong would take it the wrong way.

but if she didn’t say she cared, then minjeong would certainly not believe her.

“management asked me to sort something out for you two. they think it would be good to clear up everyone’s image without releasing a statement yet.” the black haired girl said slowly, keeping her eyes glued on the blonde girl in front of her.

"and y/n is my ex, so it's not like i can just go and say that. they'll just hate her even more."

winter nodded in response, looking away from the leader to focus on the floor. it was understandable why SM would make such a move. you and karina were in a very public position right now, and it would make both aespa and le sserafim look bad if they didn’t try and clear the air in an indirect way.

on one hand, minjeong could easily just do what she was being asked and get it over with.

however, in order for her to do that, she needs to see you and not feel the urge to throw a chair at your face. winter knew that was definitely out of the question, especially since it would need to be in a public setting.

on the other hand, minjeong could just take this the other direction and be seen more with jimin. maybe they could just kiss in front of the cameras to ensure everything was alright between them?

except, it wouldn’t make her satisfied with just that. she wanted you to physically see them together. maybe she could combine both possibilities into one? that would easily fix all these issues.

finally, the blonde idol’s eyes met jimin’s midnight hues before finally answering.

“i’ll think about it.”

minjeong fell backwards on jimin’s bed, relaxing against the comforter and inhaling the familiar scent of her leader. it was a calming pheromone that always seemed to ground winter, and drive her wild at the same time.

if only jimin actually knew how she felt. maybe a confession would finally fix this all?

the thought of making this fake relationship real put a genuine smile on the idol’s face. except it was quickly erased once she realized jimin would probably pull the leader card and shut down any possibility of such a thing happening.

she turned on her side, getting a view of jimin’s closet. it was cracked open slightly, moonlight casting faint shadows into the room and off of the walls. elongated shapes of silhouettes scattered the walls of karina’s bedroom.

minjeong had never felt at home anywhere, except with her members, but most importantly? jimin. karina had been the one to show her around SM on her first day, and always was quick to lend her a hand when she needed one.

memories of early trainee days brought a small smile to her face. it was quickly wiped off her face for the second time that night when her memories drifted to images of your face.

you played a massive part in winter’s past. it was obvious, you two were best friends after all.

until you ruined everything for her.

sleep began slowly engulfing the idol, her vision becoming hazy and eyelids drooping. she needed to make a decision about what she was going to do by the time you and jimin flew back tomorrow.

however, before she could fall under entirely, her eyes shot open once she caught a glimpse of an all too familiar item hanging in karina’s closet.

she would recognize that sweater anywhere. you had worn it every single day as a young trainee.

and she would of course recognize it, anyway. she was the one who bought it for you.

except, she had no idea her fake girlfriend had kept your piece of clothing for all this time. no wonder jimin never allowed anyone to borrow any of her sweaters, she feared one of the members would find it.

with sleep now a long forgotten thought, winter stood up slowly from the bed and made her way to the closet door. her fingers lightly grazed the fabric, ignoring the imaginary flames that seemed to ignite on her skin when it made contact with the material.

she yanked it off of its hanger, curling her fingers around the sweater as she stared at it in her hands. her blood was boiling once more at just the sight, but now? steam was practically fuming from her head.

everything was going wrong, and it was all your fault. jimin was being painted as a cheater, your solo was gaining popularity because of its raw emotion, and your relationship with karina was too close for minjeong’s liking.

she needed to fix this. and she knew exactly how.

the small, simple idea popped into her mind as she recalled jimin’s own words to her. the ghost of a smile formed at winter’s lips as she slowly let go of the sweater in her hands. her fingertips let it drop to the wooden floor, and she made her way over to her phone.

minjeong’s hands shook as she typed and scrolled away on her phone. this was an incredibly dangerous move. what she was about to do, would cross so many lines. it was a violation of trust and respect.

except, she didn’t really care. minjeong needed to fix this, and that all started with getting rid of you.

the idol pressed send on the message, grinning at the instant reply she got from the other end of her screen. this was going to surely change everything.

who knew that taking jimin’s proposal would actually turn out to be the solution to this mess?

if jimin found out about what she was about to do, she would surely cut ties with her. but maybe she could make her understand? after all, she was doing this for her sake.

by exposing the fact that you two were exes, it would clear jimin from being labeled as a cheater, and only fuel your status as a homewrecker. it wasn’t like SM was going to come out and say her relationship with karina was fake.

and it wasn’t like your agency would come out and defend you, especially since winter had proof that you two dated. as a matter of fact, SM had proof as well. lots of it, to be exact.

but none of that mattered anyway, minjeong just needed to show everyone that you really were ruining her relationship.

and besides, it wouldn’t be the first time that minjeong exposed your relationship.

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ ┊ ☪︎⋆ ⊹ ┊ . ˚ ✧

you and jimin met as trainees before she debuted, and you two never felt more in love. however, once she breaks up with you before her debut, you completely leave SM entertainment under the notion of needing a fresh start. you eventually debuted a few years later in le sserafim, where you met huh yunjin and have slowly started developing feelings for the idol. much to karina's dismay, she hates to see you have moved on, but deep in your own heart, you still can't help but feel as if maybe she has forgotten about you.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @captivq , @wonyoluvr , @yunalvrrr , @spritin , @babycubchae , @vnschldd , @sserafimez , @chaersly , @rosiehrs , @baldd , @bwljules , @jenaissantesworld , @jennasluma , @dream-chasers-things , @lcv3lies , @elyds , @archerheejin , @vnschldd , @skisk1 , @cfvgbhndun-new-blog , @silantryoo , @phamminji , @bzeus28 , @writingficsblog , @strangegirlcode , @uzumakioden , @noiacha , @sserabey , @archerheejin , @pindoris , @yourstrulytrissmerigold , @jisooftme , @yacii , @ddrummie , @justalittledissociation

[ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ]

#smau #kpop #kpop smau #aespa #lesserafim #yunjin x reader #aespa x reader #lesserafim x reader #huh yunjin #karina x reader #yu jimin #yu jimin x reader #about you #perfectsunlight

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cheesecake-the-chicken · 5 months

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Im going to try to simplify a lot of things here (big word is try). Because there's a lot. We're a traumatic osdd-1b system btw!

However, being a median system varies from person to person. So keep in mind my experiences aren't fact for every median system out there.

1.) Commination & Memory

Commination for us is very limited. We mostly communicate through feelings and emotions. If you will, pure vibes.

I can hear people talk from time to time. If I really focus. Or if the situation calls for it. (Ex. Someone in front is having a hard time. And someone speaks to talk them through it.)

If I do something someone doesn't like I can feel a general vibe which then can easily translate into words. (Think like a language translator). If I fuck up someone's art piece by accident I'm gonna feel that "fuzzy talk" and understand what they're saying.

We don't have massive memory barriers. So it's easy to recall what someone did last. However, we still forget things. Sometimes someone fronts, leaves and a new person fronts. The new person fronting might not recall what they did exactly. But, have a general idea of what was leading up before they switched out.

A really good example for us is Minecraft. Person B played a shit ton, took a break, and switched out. Person A fronted, got on Minecraft and tried to figure out what the fuck they were doing. Oh, they were mining for iron. We call it "Sticky Note Memory" because we didn't completely forget, but we need to do some reading into to remember. Sometimes it's harder for other people.

2.) Fronting & Identity

Fronting isn't what most systems think it is. It isn't a snap and you're no longer fronting. Because we're a median system we never collectively consciously leave the front. We're all here. Currently, I'm just closer to the front. I am aware of my identity. Whether that because I want too or because the brain has decided I'm the favorite guy.

Fronting and switching is more of a flow. I'm slowly melting into someone else. It might take us awhile to figure out hey, I'm someone new. Sometimes we have what are called "Fillers" where there's an in-between. Sometimes people can spawn sometimes it's a temporary thing. However, we're collectively the "same person." Here's a diagram I have of our experience.

Some of us are less distinct than others. Some have more identity. 90% of us are facets. The 10% are fully formed headmates. But, still melt in with us to create our epic system. But, I can't speak for them on their experiences since I'm a facet and they're not. Whether they ID to that term is up to them.

Most of us are copied and pasted but have wildly different appearances and maybe a little something else added to it. I may act like a lotta my headmates because we're the same people. But, also very different at the same time. It's hard to explain.

Think of icecream. Icecream is icecream. It isn't a sandwich. But there are different flavors of icecream! I'm just a different flavor and texture. But still icecream.

But yeah, that's all I can think of at the moment. There's a lot more but I don't want to go overboard on this ask lol. Again, happy to answer any questions and such!!

thank you so so so much!!!!! this is really relatable for me

definitely with communication, like there’s a difference between what i imagine us doing vs what we do lmao. like i’ll want us to agree on something but the others are behind me like “…ehhhhh” my thoughts are often shared with them though, and i only hear them speaking, not thinking

AND THE FRONTING THING!!! i thought “well i’m definitely not a system because there’s no switches and i’m always here to some degree” (except that time the other day when i had a crisis because i didn’t know who i was and then snapped out of it lmao 😂) but the others tend to come and go, most often being at least a little here except for when they’re asleep

we are definitely separate but share consciousness to some degree. there’s a couple fragments that are part of others (like puzzle pieces that complete them), but we all have distinct personalities, appearances, roles etc.

again thank you!!!! like i’ve said i can only say so much for the others’ comfort and our safety, but it really means the world that there’s others out there like us :’]

#cheesecake’s perch #system #multiplicity #pluralistic #pluralgang #actually plural #plural community #plural system #actually median #median system #actually cptsd #plurality #plural culture #endo safe #pro endo #anti syscourse #anti sysmed #mediple system #hydraconcious

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soracities · 1 year

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have you read ulysses by james joyce? ive been wanting to for a while but im a bit intimidated by its reputation of being hard to get through

I haven't, but I know a little about it and I do think, as with all difficult works, context & background is going to be your best friend; there's an ask by @days-of-reading from a few years back here that has some very good recs for annotated additions / supplementary material that may help guide you and make the book (or the idea of approaching the book) less daunting since you will know what went into it or the meaning behind various episodes or terms.

That said, I think an important thing to remember, and what has helped me with other challenging books / authors, is to remind yourself that, if they're difficult, they are so for a reason, and that this isn't automatically a bad thing—a book's difficulty isn't necessarily there to alienate you, scare you or threaten you, or make you feel inferior, as though you could never be up to the task (that said, some books probably do want to alienate you & attempt to do so in an aggressive or provocative manner but even then that aggression is a commentary on something; the question they pose is whether you will examine that commentary or not); more often than not it's to invite you into (often radically) different ways of experiencing a text, a language, a way of thinking and digesting / exploring the world. It's asking you to check what you know, what you think you know, and what you expect to know at the door and meet the text on its own terms.

After all, what do we mean when we say a book is "difficult"? "Difficult" compared to what logic, whose logic? What does that logic demand, and is that demand always reasonable? Is this logic actually as inviolable as we think it is? Let's say a work "doesn't make sense", but is that a problem with the work, or what we've demanded it be, without pausing to consider what it actually is, in its own words? Why has the author decided to construct their narrative like this, when they easily could have done it differently—and the natural follow-up to that question being: could they, really, have done it differently? The option was there but they chose not to. Texts that are trying to break the limits we impose on works of literature are often a commentary on those very limits themselves. Why are they there and who put them there? But most crucially: what's on the other side?

Understanding the social, cultural, and historical context that informs a particular writer's view of the world and they way that expresses itself in their work is obviously massively important, but I think there's also a lot to be said for surrendering yourself to a particular work's own logic and letting that take you wherever it will. That means accepting some parts will feel utterly nonsensical (some are meant to be) or understanding that maybe you will only read it at a pace of 3 pages an hour, or that one page will be re-read 10 times before you feel ready to move on. And it means taking that as an inherent trait of the work and learning to examine and move through it as it is exists because without it, it would be a completely different book altogether; and if you are treating / reading it as though it should be or you want it to be a different, easier, book then why are you reading it in the first place? The question of "what does it all mean?" is not necessarily the question that you have to answer when reading something, and not having an answer isn't a bad thing; sometimes finding an answer isn't even the point. Sometimes I think it's not unlike when a toddler finds something utterly benign looking—like a pebble, or a stick, and runs excitedly towards you in order to present what, to them, is probably something immensely fascinating. And maybe you don't see what they see but you kneel down and accept what they give you regardless and take part in the experience with them, because that is what the real intention behind that gesture is.

I don't know if any of this will help, but I hope you get something out of it, anon x

#anyone who has more concrete advise for ulysses specifically please do add it in!#ask #anonymous #book talks

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bedoballoons · 7 months

Note

Dating Kenna HC'S/Drabbles

Special order for Bedo >:D

Sorry i couldn't wait tomorrow(i have exams tomorrow), this made me realize how fast i am at writing headcanon's

Includes a few reader tropes

A lot people think he would be a really affectionate person still I can tell that he's a red flag, I just can't prove it red means ily

Like he's literally married to his Nintendo switch??

But we like being delusional

Anyway remember that one episode where he was eating a banana and said "is it wrong to do something for your friends!?" Or something like that, he would try to show gesture

Such as holding, small pecks

I bet when he kissed you on the check for the first time you were questioning if it was a lick or peck

I think he would have knowledge of things about dating from his rpg games or whatever

Every time he does something you don't like, he starts to wonder what was wrong in the thing he did

Clueless baby, protec him at all cost

He's a fast learner tho!

Y'all would have dates at cat cafes

One chance please

I can be a housewife

Cook at 9

Clean house at 11

Reall 💯🤭

He's rich tho?

Bro owns a company from just sitting at home/jk

Let's say that you're the boys volleyball clubs manager

Yamamoto would receive death glares from him instead of passes

Same goes to kuroo

Let's add Lev too

Leave him alone 😭✋

You're cool with others

I can imagine a small scenerio about how Lev was admiring you after practice, the way you were good at catching where the ball was thrown at or simply if you ever compliment his skills(do they exist?), kenma would pop out from no where to yank you away and leave that lamp post alone

What abt artist s/o for him

Cuz i like gamer x artist trope

Draw his fav fictional characters <33 (he's one himself)

İ actually think he would adore your drawings cuz like this guy is a gamer and gamers would get artists easily (real life experience)

You have a messy art style? He would understand it

Easy

An childhood friend trope?

There is no way you are not the manager of the boys volleyball team or a member of the team.

Kuroo would have already write your name to the club as a member or manager.

But this ain't about him

Since you also know kenma from childhood you probably also warned him about his health and you're caring abt him

İ still wonder how his eyesight is alright

But you gotta be interesting

Like the way he looks at his childhood friend(talkin abt kuroo) and the way he looks at Hinata

He wants to beat hinata in volleyball tho

İf you're a volleyball player you can force him into training with you

İ can imagine him with a taller s/o

İt would be cute but his teammate's would teasing him a lot

Especially the trio again (Kuroo, Lev, Yamamoto)

Yaku would understand him

Bedo do we stan short boys in this household?

But there's no way this guy is not popular in class, i mean he might hate it but he probably doesn't knows he is popular

Just look at how pretty he is

İ can talk about him till i die

Anyway husband kenma tho 🤭🤭

Once again im saying this

He's rich

He's your sugar daddy and you're his goof ball

Frfr

He's lazy so even if you work you gotta be a housewife/husband

Someone needs to take care of that lazy af ass

Remind him to eat/drink!! Feed the baby

Baby fever tho

İ can say he wouldn't be ready for one still he would accept it

Just one tho, y'all ain't having more than one

Y'all would already have cats as pets

Y'all would visit Hinata a lot

He adores that sunshine

İf you do too

🤝

Adopt Hinata

Or kidnapp him

This ain't about Hinata too

He's a sweatshirt, hoodie guy

Steal them

I can imagine a arcade date or simply stargazing for this guy's b-day

His love language is anything expect gift giving

He tends to be confused about what to give you as a gift.

But if you're a gamer like him

Then it's easier then changing socks for him

Probably knows you're preference of game genre

And is the best person you could ask about gaming

Helpw i don't even have a long post like this in my acc y'all don't identify me plz 🫶🫶

I hope you enjoyed the small hc's!!

İ still have to write him a birthday scenerio

Fun facts:

You were actually one of the people who inspired me, made me have a interest in writing

I'm a kenma kinnie irl!! Switching personalitys irl

-💤

OH MY GOSH THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT!! IM BLUSHED AND SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY!!!

EEEEE THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I LOVE IT OH MY GOODNESS I CANT!!!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Yes we definitely stan short bois here ;)

I can't believe I inspired you, you literally made me tear up!! Please continue writing because you are absolutely amazing at it and you should literally share this with everyone!!!

Kenma is such a sweet baby I love him!!

THANK YOU AGAIN!!!

#cuteballoons<3 #amazing writer #kenma #kenma headcanons

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piviani · 2 years

Text

jungwon positive and negative traits

( disclaimer: please do remember to take my readings with a grain of salt. i am in no way a professional tarot reader and all of this are alleged and is for entertainment purposes only. )

positive traits

nine of pentacles - queen of cups - knight of wands - knight of pentacles in rv - queen of wands in rv

so lets start off with the nine of pentacles, according to it—jungwon is someone who is confident and independent in a good way. he is an hardworking person, might not back off easily even though everyone or everything is getting in his way. he believes he can make it. jungwon is someone who has a wide perspective, but not only that, he is also as well someone who understands the hard work of people— how people got to where they are now, knowing him himself also as well experienced it. one thing about jungwon is he always appreciates what he currently has, but that doesnt mean hes already content with it though.. however he is grateful and so, he continues to dream and strive for it. and that’s actually great. jungwon is also as well someone who comforts you. if we put it simply, hes sort of a .. soft person, and like friend who always comforts and supports you in every way. your healer and your armor. its like youre just.. simply sitting there and he immediately asks you what wrong. like he can sense it already just by the look of your face 😭 he is also as well calm—like the little waves of the sea and the wind of the sky. (wow yeah the contrast with the QoC and KoW lmfao..) ok lets move on! with the KoW.. yeah he is also energetic too.

jungwon is someone who knows how to sense the atmosphere. he can be calm at the right time, and he can also as well be energetic at the exact time. someone who probably says, “Lets do it!” with a thumbs up that immediately turns into a fist and just randomly takes your hand and run (with you) lol like . . just energetic. might be the joker in a class if he feels like it. hes such a positive person with others, always there to comfort everyone. (but yeah .. if alone :/ a type of to think negative to himself. thats the problem with him ig..) but yeah lets move on again! with the KoP in the otherhand, he is ambitious, protective and driven person. the type to take risks. (but he needs to tone down this a bit though because being too ambitious can fail you.) and ouu if we think it through he might be the type of person who believes with the word yolo too. and last, one of his traits that’s considered positive is, again, he knows himself. he knows what his wants and needs are. exactly thats right. he is aware. he is also not the type to be affected easily by the opinions of others. not to back off easily. though he might prefer to be in sidelines instead to taking the spotlight. a lowkey person.

note: um someone tell him to be cocky because ??? i would be cocky as hell if i were him im being honest /hj

negative traits

the star in rv - ten of cups i n rv - the tower - eight of cups - three of wands

his negative traits in the other hand is he thinks negatively. (this is not surprising anymore tbh) might suddenly leave you with so many unanswered questions. jungwon is someone who judges, or criticize his own self. a sort of a perfectionist. (this is probably due to his virgo🧍) he also as well someone who lack of confidence at times. self doubt is very prominent. kind of hypocrite too . . like your friend who gives you hopes and thinks positively for you, and is always there but erm with their own self.. which is confusing like what. but theres this saying, its easy to say but hard to do lol buuuttt moving on, he also as well constantly picks up even a little bit of his mistake. jungwon is the type of person who just suddenly disconnects with people out of nowhere, no matter whom.. may be his friends or family. he just disappears and abandons everyone. sudden mood changes always happens too. one time hes all smiley and giggly and the minute hes just sooo quiet and just stares at the wall. he isolates and might neglect his own needs even. always turns his back around and leave. he feels like something is still missing in his’, which he always seem to be in-search for. trying his best to not feel his own existence. avoiding the problems and all that shit instead of choosing it to solve . . jungwon always seems to feel empty to be honest.

[ reading was made in aug 7, 2022. ]

#kpop tarot #kpop #enhypen tarot #enhypen #yang jungwon #jungwon #enhypen jungwon #yang jungwon tarot #tarot #tarot reading

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rrelationshipadvice · 8 months

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I've decided on leaving my partner for various reasons, a few being:

1) lack of showing interest in anything I like but pinging me & expecting me to pay attention to theirs. Literally watching me talk about things I like and proceeding to interrupt me/talk about something else while ignoring messages I sent hours earlier about something I like. zero engagement at all, no questions, no real encouragement past the same two compliments that have long since sounded completely hollow to me.

I understand that not everyone is expected to show the same enthusiasm for something that I do, but it feels like they dont care when I compare it against how I've encouraged other friends' projects/how I've listened to other friends talk about things they like & how other friends have encouraged & listened to me, especially when it comes to things they or I will never play or want to engage in as a media.

2) them holding onto very small conflicts we resolved months ago and casually mentioning how they still feel bad about it long after its solved which makes it difficult for me to bring up anything now

3) being financially irresponsible to the point that the one time I asked them for something- which was no more than $30 iirc- they didn't have the money for it. I had spent on them repeatedly in the past (they spent that money on gacha games because they didn't want to wait a few days longer to pull on something. It was time limited but not ending anytime soon, they very easily couldve waited, met their one obligation, and still been able to get the same shit out of that game. It did not go to something more important)

There's a bit more, but having sorted my thoughts and emotions, those are the big ones that came up in my mind again and again

If I were someone else these conflicts might be able to be solved, but I avoided bringing these up which is, of course, on me. Unfortunately my emotional state/opinion regarding them is now past the point of no return because every word they say irritates me and its been like this for a while. So that'll just have to be a lesson for future me to remember.

The really important part that I'm asking for advice on is how to go about it. It's a tricky situation since we're both borderline (just to clear up any confusion before it starts, im not the person who also had bpd that came through here earlier), and our primary communication is through discord since its a long distance relationship and they've been through a lot this year already (they lost three other friends in the last few months. I am now understanding why.) Both telling them straight up and blocking them without a word have their own drawbacks right now, being:

- The first friend to leave this year told my partner why & left and proceeded to get harassed on every platform alongside their friends & loved ones because my partner would not fucking stop trying to contact them. There were four people (all friends) including me telling my partner that this was not acceptable behavior and to stop but they were adamant on doing so and refused to listen to anyone. Afaik they were close to this person before they left so theres a good chance I could receive the same treatment too.

I probably shouldve taken this behavior as my sign to gtfo back then honestly, because I've been on the other end of shit like that before and it left me fucked up for a very long time. Something to add to my notes as a future 100% no questions asked dealbreaker i guess. I know its difficult with bpd considering I also have it, but the one thing I could never bear to do to someone no matter how much I hate them in the moment is evade blocks multiple times on multiple platforms trying to get them to talk to me.

I don't want my friends to have to deal with this (I havent actually told any of them that I'm planning/having thoughts of breaking up with my partner. I dont know how to go about that conversation either.) and I know that my partner knows at least two of their users and unfortunately discord has made it incredibly easy to find people through just usernames.

I've considered warning the ones im worried about getting targeted ahead of time so they can configure their settings/block my partner to avoid having to deal with any of it further down the line, but I dont know if my partner knows of their social medias too or would go so far as to make a tumblr just to harass them.

- That said, I know that ghosting/blocking without a word could go equally as badly- the most recent friend to leave did that but I don't have details on what occurred after because I was not mentally well enough to help at the time and dealing with my own unrelated breakdown. I'm probably wrong, but it makes this option seem much more appealing. I'll probably warn my friends and give them the user to block ahead of time either way, honestly.

They've said before that if someone leaves them (platonically or romantically) they want a reason but having seen what happened when the first person gave them one and left I'm not sure any reason or conversation that doesnt end with "ill give you another chance"/"ill stay" would be good enough for them. I honestly dont trust them not to try picking apart any reasons I give them rather than just accepting it

I just don't know where to go from here, any guidance at all would be much appreciated!!!

#advice #relationship advice #dating advice

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mizuta · 7 months

Text

far from it to be my style to post about hashtag mental health issues on main but like. look. ive& been psychotic as far back as i can tangibly remember (hallucinating at 10-11, cognitive symptoms and episodes by 13-14). its been a part of my life so long that like... in a lot of ways im used to it and coping with symptoms and my life grew around a lot of the symptoms. like a tree trunk growing around a foreign object as a sapling. something that pierces directly through the middle but doesnt really impact the trees ability to stay alive in any meaningful way.

so like in a lot of ways im used to being in my own head. my partner is good at recognizing that things that are distressing to me in episodes dont process whatsoever as distressing to me a good chunk of the time. when im acting visibly distressed it actually means my level of distress is at like, 200%. its fucking unmanageable. if im visibly distressed its worse than anyone could conceptualize because typically otherwise im just numb to a lot of it or its just default my reality that its not distressing in any meaningful way until after the fact.

but like im ngl just because ive spent all of my teenage years upwards trying to take up literally the least space possible to exist and never show 80% of my "unacceptable" symptoms to 99% of people does not mean it makes it any less uncomfortable or awkward to like. be the token psychotic in some groups. to have to be the buzzkill and shit thats like hey sorry heres my hyperspecific request of the year because im fucking insane.

its miserable in a fresh new way of like sorry to have to remind everyone that its not actually a funny character quirk or joke my brain literally does not exist in your 'reality' in any meaningful way and the further outside of it i am on a given day the more unpleasant youre going to find me to be around. ignoring the insane person talking aimlessly in public doesnt actually help me it usually just reinforces that youre not real and never will be if its a bad enough day.

its never intentional. like nobody is ever doing this on purpose. especially again because i spent so much of my life being very good at hiding it. but like... it sucks so much to be masking half the time and be a little too good at it so when you stop being able to people are always levels of uncomfortable or upset. it sucks when you cant articulate anything properly and nobody really knows how to understand what youre asking for. it sucks when you have multiple severe memory conditions and cant trust your own memory and everyone immediately questions your memory when you ask for anything or point anything out. like of course im just going to fucking fold.

i dont know where im going with this or if this itself is even that coherent i know it sounds super vague but it really isnt about anyone specific im just babbling about like years worth of garbage. i got so fucked over by fakeclaiming culture because unfortunately when i started really displaying symptoms i was a teenager trying not to kill himself and being fucking insane loudly in virtual public when that was apparently an "obvious sign of exaggerating" so i had to learn to shut the fuck up and now everybody loves to forget how much im fucking unwell because god forbid you think too hard about what youre saying around others.

thank god for my partner who is literally the first person in my entire life whos ever tried to understand and genuinely knows how to talk to me when im in a particularly bad delusion or hallucinating or whatever.

man. im tired. i found out this last month i probably need to get a cane when i move out and i still feel like im going to be appropriating shit because severe knee and upper leg paint and severe balance problems cant be that bad. i hate having memory problems so bad that i so easily can be told that i dont know shit and Y is actually what happened and i usually cant actually argue against it even if im so sure thats not true.

#miles organizer #;kaz #this actually isnt really that bitter im just. talking. miserably. about psychosis.#i think i should be allowed to just be fucking insane in public and everybody should just have to deal with it and stop being uncomfortable #(thats kind of a joke im just sad.)

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smoosnoom · 9 months

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moon moon moon moon moon moon moon moon i dont think u understand i have butterflies rn i am so warm and happy and smiley and and snd amd and this is easily one of my favorite fics of yours i absolutely adore summer so so very much and . ohggg you wrote them so lovely and i literally can't stop smiling oh !!!! thank you for this fic and even including some things i mentioned i mean i bet a lot of people mentioned those tropes but aaa i am happy anyhow <3

also here r some of my fav quotes because . because this is my favorite thing in the universe

- “Are you okay?”

Christ. Can’t a man fantasize about his best friend in peace?

THIS OS SO FUNYNYNYNY im obsessed w how u write mike i love him

- It’d be more terrifying than beautiful if Will weren’t here.

maybe i will scream . i will becaud eohmmy9fods

- Will moves, again, their hands bumping, and it feels like they’re holding the sun in the space between.

THIS MAD EME . PAUSE AND JUST . OGGGHGGGGHGHG . i can only smile and keyboard smash moon i am so sorry 🙏😭

- “Everything, I guess,” he answers, because it’s true. Will is, kind of, everything,

- “Me?” He questions, eyes wide, as if there could possibly be anyone else, as if Mike has ever even – looked at anyone else,

- and fingers sliding into Mike’s hair, and it’s everything, and Mike was right, he’s never doubting himself again, because Will is everything.

I WIQLCOJWJ JSCKSJHD . i apologize but these part smake me sosoos !!*!&!<!!! i cant even explain . i am so in love w this fic moon i cnantng. okay .

also jsut . the ending. mike thinking of missing him and will going hey im right here OHGGGGG !!!!!!!! moon you are brilliant and so lovely and . this fic made me so incredibly happy i can't do this . today felt rlly like the first day of summer and this fic made me feel a million times warmer and than kyou thank you ohhggggg this fic is absolutely everything yo me i am so warm and giddy rn !!!!!!! ur fics especially make me love will so much more if that's even possible bc he is one of my favorite characters in any media ecer and getting to read him written by u . well it might be an honor . it definitely is . it makes me so happy i cant even describe it . so thank you thank you<3 i hope u have a good night moon and i hope your essay goes okay <3 remember to rest and take care of urself !!!!!!!!!<3<3<3

donnie byersverse hello !!!!!!!!!! every day is a good day to see u in my inbox !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohh im so happy u liked it oh my god ! i tried my absolute Best to make this fic something more like . fun and carefree or just something to cheer people up and im so glad it made u smile !!!! if i wasnt on a laptop id be spamming party hat emojis rn and yes !!!! i tried to include the things u specifically mentioned since u are always so kind to me in ur asks :D i thought uknow ! the least i could do !

LOL i love writing mike to be a little unhinged when hes in love with will <3 it just seems right

the keyboard smashing is so so real . expressing emotions no words can get across Thank u so much

NOO dont ever apologize i love seeing the parts u like the most !!!! especially then i can seee what i should do more often and what hits the hardest :D i am so happy u liked it so much omg

i am so honored to contribute to ur lovely summer day !! summer is such a fun season to write about and in, and im glad i got the very specific feeling of it across ! also ??? "ur fics especially make me love will so much more" finn what if i literally cry and di e and Explode into a million teeny tiny pieces . what then .

u are so entirely kind to me !!! im so happy u enjoyed reading it and that i did ur ideas justice :) and i love reading ur thoughts !! thank u so much !!!!!!!!

#/ask

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mageofseven · 11 months

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Hello! I saw you opening match up requests soo here I am- Group choices :The Brothers

I'm a Taurus, but idk what that can be useful of

-Personally, I think I'm the kind that would only be interested towards special stuff/people, about the one I don't like,I don't actually care.(I will/try to remember every detail on the one that I'm interested.)I'm an extrovert(ESTP kind of extrovert)

-But if I'm outside, I still feel a bit shy

-My hobby/interest would actually be playing video games, but at the same time I like to write short stories. I'm extroverted in games and internet, but a bit shy sometimes irl. My friends say I'm a cheerful but chaotic person tho

For the games part, I like RPGs the most, that's also mostly my writing ideas are from!

-In my friend's opinion, I'm a therapist-like friend:D and the smart girl who always decides on whatever question they give me when they are confused.

-If about struggles/insecurity , the only thing I struggle abt is probably annoying people. I feel like I annoy people every time I talk to them and they don't seem happy. But I just wanna try cheer them up with hope that they won't feel even worse!

-Im a pansexual female(if that helps) and I swear, friends to lovers is smth I like a LOT.

Lastly, Hopefully I understood the guild lines right and doesn't get anything wrong! Have a good day/night/afternoon/time when u see this

An ESTP therapist friend? I did not expect that! I'm so used to therapist friends being ISFJs and INFPs, though in fairness, I can't say I've ever met an ESTP. Well, other than my late grandfather anyway.

Anyway!

From what I know about Tauruses (which my mom is one btw!), you like the best things in life and treasure home comforts. You are down-to-earth and loyal, but also very stubborn. (Also, side note! Your astrological skepticism is adorably ESTP and I love that for you 🥰)

Being an ESTP means your function stack is SeTiFeNi or simply SeTi. This means your primary function is Extraverted Sensing and is your main method of collecting information in you life. In it's simplest form, this just means you have to experience something to fully understand it. You understand better when you can touch it, see it, hear it, use all your senses on it. Hypotheticals simply aren't enough for you to grasp concepts and truly feel connected to them.

Next, you use Introverted Thinking. It's your auxiliary (or secondary) function that mostly operates in the background and supports your primary function Se. It's your logical frame work and reference material, which is used as a tool to solve problems you discover with your Se.

All of this paired with the rest of your info really brings one Brother to mind.

I pair you with...

Mammon

Friends to lovers??? Say no more! Here's your ride or die bestie! Because let's face it, this man will be far too anxious to ask you out anytime soon, but he will have your back no matter what.

Mammon too is a shy extraverted. At least, he's shy to those who are new and matter to him, even if he tries to pretend otherwise. I can see him being afraid to annoy those who fall under this category too so he'd definitely empathize with you on this and go out of his way to make sure you know he could never be annoyed by you so don't worry about it! (I'd take this as a fun challenge, but that's just me hehe~). He'd really try to be comforting to you about your insecurities because, in truth, he has a lot of them himself, even if he pretends otherwise. In general, this man does a lot of pretending 😅

Mammon likes video games too so I can see him chilling and watching you play your RPGs and anytime you get stuck on a particular part, he'd gloat and say he could do it so easily. Then he'd actually try and 9/10 times fail worse than you did and the 1/10 get lucky and brag like "See? I told you The Great Mammon gots this!".

He'd ask to read your writings as well as a way of trying to support this hobby of yours, but not really make it that far into whatever story you hand him (I have a headcanon that Mammon struggles with dyslexia) so instead he'd ask you to just tell him about it yourself or better yet, read it to him.

Overall, I think Mammon would be a fun boyfriend who would go out of his way to understand you and support your interests. It might take a while for him to ask you out (if you yourself don't do it first at least), but once you are together, you'll never doubt his love and support of you 🥰

#matchup requests #anon #nonnie #obey me #obey me mammon

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xamaxenta · 1 year

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FUCK OK HERE WE GO ILL TRY TO REMEMBER ALL OF IT CAUSE YEAH IT WAS PRETTY LONG SDKJHLFG

So Marco sees Ace being pinned against a wall by one of his producers and the first thing he wants to do is tackle him to the ground and maybe throw in a punch or two but he just stares daggers into the man and keeps his voice even as he asks, "Am I interrupting something?" He tries his best to keep his calm if there's even the slightest chance he's misreading the situation.

Ace's eyes dart back and forth, anxious out of his mind and lowkey mortified marco found him like this and his leg is trembling from his injury and he curses himself for his voice being gone as he tries to speak and keep calm as well "My,,, my leg hurts. I need-- help,,"

Marco knows he's telling the truth in a surface level way and a deeper way. Yeah, his leg really looks like it's killing him, but the way Ace's voice almost broke when he stuck on that last statement. Marco is able to easily pick up what he means.

The producer shoots a look at Ace and growls at him. "You didn't tell me about that. You," he looks at Marco, "You get out of here if you know what's good for you."

Marco approaches and puts his hand on the man's shoulder, firm and tight, and tries to show the man some patience and understanding cause despite how much he wants to clock this guy in the face he knows producers are important and this really should be solved as smoothly as possible like "I've come to find him to take him to a walk-in clinic, his leg is really bothering him and it needs to be looked at."

The man releases one of Ace's wrists to slap Marco's hand away and face him more and he scoffs at him, "You've got some nerve, you nobody. I need to speak privately with my star here, if you could--"

Ace can feel the animosity growing and Marco wanting to murder him with every passing second, so suddenly Ace starts gasping and wailing and collapsing in on himself and holding his leg "M-Marco! Marco, it really hurts! I think something's wrong!!"

And that puts Marco in zero-in focus mode on him like ace oh my god whats wrong are you okay can you stand can you walk let's get you out of here and the producer is too stunned by the sudden screaming like oh my god this really is an emergency

Marco practically carries him to his car and drops him in the passenger seat and he keeps up the act until the doors are closed and Marco's driving away and its a real quiet ride cause marco tries to question him asking if hes really okay (first about his leg then about his mind) and ace is almost disassociating and shrugging him off cause in reality he's feeling absolutely horrible about himself cause not only did he let that happen to him (he's supposed to be stronger than that, hell he could probably benchpress the guy's weight and yet he still cornered ace like a scared rat) he let marco see him weak like that. hes so pathetic marco's gotta think hes so pathetic now and its not a fun interaction that ensues

*prints this off ten times and stuffs it in my mouth*

This is some HAUTE cuisine my compliments to the chef holy shit yall anons are COOKING

I love dramatics, i also think whether Ace was very much in pain or not utilising drama to get out of the situation is smart of him poor thing :(( youd have to be a giga asshole to ignore someone saying theyre in pain when there’s a witness (unfortunately this is common irl but yknow im not going to focus on that bc its . Sad)

AaaaAAAAAA BRIDAL CARRY THO can i just say the vibes immaculate

The amount of comfort n care after this encounter in the safety of the car is driving me insane like

Ace realising he can relax and feel safe, his manager might be blowing up his phone rn but he just turns it off hes tired and overwhelmed

#marcoace model au

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vettelcore · 1 year

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partly happy and very relieved that I don't have to worry about him anymore but also it's just like. i don't understand why he's pushing me away like this but still asking me to be around, i highly highly doubt even he knows tbh

he says he doesn't want to hurt me or make me angry by asking to be alone for a while, and I'm not angry about that, i completely understand it and I'm more than fine giving him that space if he needs it because his whole life is close to being turned upside down for the worse and i get why he's overwhelmed and doesn't have the time to worry about me and not hurting me for being distant

what makes me so fucking angry and truly hurt me is the whole "i don't know if i want to call you my girlfriend" after half a fucking year of exclusive dating and acting like a normal fucking couple and trusting me with things you really wouldn't tell someone who you can't see yourself being around for a long time

it's funny because this is exactly what i was afraid of in the beginning, i remember a conversation we had before we started dating and he was telling me about his love life and how he had never dated anyone for longer than a couple of months, so i asked him "how come?? are you afraid of commitment lol" and he was like noooo i just don't think I've clicked with anyone enough for that

in my mind i was like yeah lmao if we ever start dating he's so gonna be the guy who leads me on for months, just to tell me "actually i can't have a serious relationship now lol sorry hope you're not mad" when i start suggesting that perhaps it's time i meet your mum bc it's the only way we can see each other more often

and if anyone is reading this you're probably wondering so why the fuck did you ignore your intuition and kept going out with him? fair enough very good question idk because im a fucking retard and because we clicked in so well, so easily and so fast that i truly thought it'd be different

i never felt like this with anyone, it always takes me so long to get comfortable around people and not get anxiety when they talk to me or ask me to hang out, and the fact that i never had that feeling around him... that always put any doubts i had about dating him at bay

"yeah you're right everything was perfect between us and we completely understand each other, have a lot fun together and had so much chemistry everyone around us joked about us getting together before we even had a proper conversation but hmmmm yeah idk girlfriend is a scary word tho"

it literally just sounds like you want the liberty to go out and fuck whoever you want without having to worry about that person in the slightest, and that you never cared that much about me even though you really, really didn't act like it

and im saying all of this but another part of me thinks that it'll get better, when things settle down and he doesn't have to worry about what the fuck is gonna happen to him and where he's gonna live after his mother dies, he'll text me and ask to get together again, because things were going so well before his mum got sick again that he's probably just acting like this now bc he can't think clearly and everything is overwhelming him

maybe im an idiot for telling him i can't bring myself to drop him fully, because i really wouldn't be comfortable with myself if i did it knowing what he's going through, I'd feel like a horrible person, i care(d?) too much about him to do that, even if he says he just wants to isolate from everyone and be on his own, that's not healthy, i understand why he wants that, but it's the worst he can do ffs

tldr: don't date manchildren and trust your intuition, you're gonna be right 99,9% of the times

#im so tired lmao i slept for like an hour #i have to be up by 11am today so im gonna try to get a bit of sleep #maybe I'll delete maybe I'll leave it up for posterity who knows!!#but im just zo confused lol

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wildcatofgreen · 1 year

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((here we go! lets try to wrap it up here kid, you asked a loaded question first time. i dont think i was ready to explore my in-universe consequences on canon like that.))

What the fuck is going onnnnn.

"Uhm. Okay. Uhm.

"You know everything, right? Do ya know what'll happen durin' that rematch on Tuesday?"

((I... Don't Know.))

"Oh what the fuck--"

((im serious!!! dont hurt me i kind of cant get hurt easily.

((you're dealing with a lot, right? youve still got a lot of stress on your back from various events and now certain friends have become a bit of a sore subject for you, right?))

". . ."

((without certain things happening to further push you along a certain path there's. not much i can say about it without it happening already. you dont have all the information. you dont have a real gameplan going in to the fight. you still dont know what he's doing, really. you havent learned anything yet.

((yooooou still have time to, don't get me wrong!!!

((but if youre not pushed in the right direction...))

". . .

"Then how the fuck do I get pushed in that direction???"

((i dont know, girl. that's what it all comes down to, right? you getting pushed in that direction in the first place.

((but im not exactly sure what you need, either. this shit aint binary--there's no switch to turn on or off that lets you develop the necessary skills and knowledge that lets you do what you want to do.

((i dont want the worst case scenario to happen just as much as you dont. you need a break. youre barely surviving as is right now--and i know this because im the girl that's writing you. you're not okay in any sense of the word and wow id hate to spell this out not only for you but for everyone reading this right now but hell if it wasnt obvious before then its hella fucking obvious now.))

". . .

"Fuck."

She sits on the floor, bringing her knees close to her chest.

"This... This ain't how I expected this 'ta go."

((you and me both.

((over halfway, carol. c'mon, ask me an easy one and then we can say our goodbyes.))

"Uhm... "What comes of this whole... Sony an' Lyli thingie?"

((i said something EASY, you TWERP))

". . . !!!!!!"

((listen, okay, i do not have a good answer for you there at all. to uh, put it simply and not confuse you further--lilac's her own person. and so is sonar. i cant just tell you what's going to happen there--not that i'd want to--because like ((...i dont have ''free range'' over them, so to speak. ((you're set in stone. and by the looks of it theyre also set in stone. as long as lilac keeps suffering in her little silence and sonar's there as a support for both you and her--probably--then i cant imagine anything changing from the set path y'all have.))

"...Lyli's what."

((shit. me and my big mouth.

((WHATEVER NONE OF THIS IS CANON ANYWAY SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA REMEMBER ANY OF IT AND IT'LL BE FINE HA HA.))

". . ."

((just... have faith, right? it's what you've been doing thus far. why stop now?

((everyone'll be fine.

((okay, we dont have much time left to talk. ((remember sonar's song. remember how much lyli loves you. remember all the friends and family you have by your side.

((a little birdie told me something once.

((''That unlike some, Carol didn't have to face it all at once, that the people around were, fortunately understanding enough to grant her this small solace...''

((it's a lot right now. i know it is. and not everything looks great, coming out on the other side.

((but you can do it. you can make it!!!! i know you can, girl.

((and after all of this, you'll be able to relax for a bit.

((keep going. have faith. dont give up. that's the best i can say about any of this.))

She did not have any confidence in this entity's words, funnily enough.

Everything she said felt like it was making things worse.

"Y-Yeah. Okay. "Thanks."

((...

((right. well! i gotta get to fixing this stupid wall.

((good luck out there carol. im rooting for ya))

And all she would do is nod.

#carol's cruisings #catmun speaks #noncanon stuff #that. was heavy.#i did not think in the year of our lord and savior [CURRENT YEAR] id give my own character a pep talk #and proceed to fail at said pep talk #its... its not canon! so itll be fine #but god damn that kind of fucking sucks doesnt it

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