#like i feel so awful for them both and then sirius too because he had to make them do that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonstruckme · 6 months

Note

Idk if this is even enough for a request but I would love to see poly marauders w a reader who takes extremely hot showers, like maybe she’s already in the shower when the boys come home and they go to join her but start squealing and they jump back out, pouting at her about “it’s too hot! You’re boiling, you’re going to pass out in there” etc. I just think it’s funny and I love a good hot shower. (Bonus pts for plus size reader!! Not sure how that would be important but I’d love it if it was!)

Thanks for requesting sweetheart! I couldn't really find a way to make it plus!size reader without describing her body a lot but that felt sort of weird and I ended up cutting most of it, so unfortunately it's only plus!size reader if you squint a bit

cw: non-sexual (okay, some sexual, but it's only lightly implied) nudity

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 628 words

Steam whooshes out of the bathroom when James opens the door. The mirror is completely fogged up and he’s immediately warm, but that’s alright, because he’s shrugging off his shirt anyway.

“Hi, angel,” he calls over the spray.

“Jamie?” Your voice echoes off the tile a second before your head pokes out past the curtain. “When did you get home?”

“Just now, but Sirius and Rem are already in the kitchen making dinner.” Well, Remus is making dinner. Sirius is providing commentary. “Can I join you in there?”

Your smile comes quick and devious, water dripping from your chin. “Sure you can.”

James hurries out of his pants and socks, pulling aside the curtain. “Alright, scoot ov—ah!” He hardly gets one leg under the spray before he’s jumping back. “Shit that’s hot! What the hell, lovie? Are you trying to cauterize yourself?”

You laugh like he’s overreacting, which James knows for certain he is not. Steams pours out so thickly from behind the curtain it’s a wonder there’s any water left to wash yourself with that hasn’t instantly evaporated. “What’s wrong with a hot shower?” you ask.

James doesn’t know how to answer that. “Hot” doesn’t even begin to describe the temperatures you’re subjecting yourself to. He hears footsteps in the hall, and a second later Sirius is opening the door, Remus behind him.

“Did someone yell?”

“Yeah, me,” James says, accusatory, “when I nearly had the skin scorched clean off my leg.”

Sirius raises a single brow. “That scream was awful girlish, Prongs. You sure it was you?”

“Prick,” James laughs. “Go on, feel the water. It’s like she’s punishing herself in there!”

Remus steps past Sirius, sticking his hand under the showerhead. His eyebrows raise, and he draws it back (albeit with much more dignity than James had withdrawn, but he’d been caught by surprise). “That really is quite warm, dove. I can barely hold my hand under there, how’re you doing it with your whole body?”

You shrug, turning towards them, and it occurs to James that he and you are both naked while your other two boyfriends are fully clothed. There was a time where you would’ve tried to hide yourself from them in this state, and he’s hit with a rush of gratitude that that time has passed. Still, he doesn’t quite like the look of you like this, steam rising off your body as water that may as well be magma slides over your curves. James can’t believe you when you say that doesn’t hurt.

“It’s nice,” you say, like some kind of psychopath. “I don’t know, I like it.”

“Sweetheart, you could pass out from heat like this,” Remus frets.

“Is it really that bad?” Sirius is skeptical, until Remus presses the palm that he’d held in the water to his face. His eyes widen. “Fuck, how can you stand that, babe?”

“You guys are wimps,” you tell them, rolling your eyes. “It’s cold outside, and I fancied a hot shower. Sue me.”

“But this is more than hot,” Remus says. James nods ardently. “You’re really telling me you don’t even feel lightheaded?”

“I don’t,” you promise, but James isn’t having it. He pulls the curtain aside, gripping the fat of your hip (“Fuck, Jamie, you’re freezing!”) to reach around you and adjust the water temperature.

“There,” he says. “Let it cool down a bit, and you won’t melt your brain, plus I’ll be able to get in with you. Okay?”

Remus nods satisfiedly, hurrying back towards the kitchen to attend to whatever he’s likely left on the stove, but you pout. “It’s going to be cold,” you complain.

“I’ll be in there with you,” James reminds you, grinning when you brighten. “I’ll make sure you don’t get too cold, lovie.”

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cosmal · 1 year

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waitttt aerial writing poly!marauders?? omg. how about them looking after sick or injured reader I feel like that could be so cute!!!! they’re all worrywart bfs tbh

emergency contact

summary james gets called when you faint at work. and then sirius. then remus. you feel awful

content poly!marauders x fem!reader

note this was combined with another request. I accidentally deleted it I'm super sorry but it was a request for poly x fem!reader where the boys come to your work after fainting!

You feel really embarrassed sitting at the end of the bar, ice pack held to your head, mouth wrapped around the straw in your drink.

Your embarrassment turns to worry when you see James walking across the room. He’s rushing, hair a mess, mud tracked up his calves. He’s still in his rugby kit.

You turn your head to look at your colleague. “Ash, you told me you wouldn’t call anyone!” You’re not really upset, you feel like a bit of a nuisance.

“It’s procedure, Y/N. I’m sorry.” She doesn’t sound very sorry. You don’t blame her.

“Sweetheart,” he says when he reaches you. He’s frantic, soft about it, but still upset. “Are you okay? They told me you fainted.”

“I’m really sorry,” you say instead of a hello. You feel entirely stupid.

“What?” He grasps your shoulder and squeezes hard. “What are you sorry for, honey?”

“I feel bad,” you say quietly, voice a little thick. You screw your face up and your head tinges. A dull pain that radiates down into the back of your skull.

“Please, don’t.” He says. Firm with a hint of worry he’s trying to mask. If James cries you think you might too, and you really wouldn’t put it past him.

You drop the pack to the bar and take his hand, fingers damp with condensation that transfers to his palm. “I’m fine. Promise.”

“You bumped your head?” He uses his free hand to hold your face, careful where he has his fingers. His eyes track over your face to search for any harm. You’re blood-free, luckily, though there’s a red mark blooming up and into your hairline. Most likely to bruise.

“Yeah.” Your eyes flutter closed because you can’t help it.

“You’re not feeling drowsy?” comes James’s voice.

“No, feels nice,” you chuckle, a tiny huff of air. “Your hands are warm.”

You don’t expect it, but suddenly, you’re hearing Sirius’s worried voice come from the other side of the room. You crane your head around James' broad shoulders to see him, haloed by the light coming through the front door.

“Why is he here?” you mumble, feeling worse by the second. It comes out worse than it sounded in your head.

Apparently, he hears you. “He is here because James had to call him.” He hugs you almost immediately. Big, warm hands come around to cage you in against his chest. You hide the good side of your face into his neck and huff. “Do you not want me here?”

You pull back quickly and really regret it. Blinking back the hot, pinching pain in your face. “What? No, I’m just…ugh.”

Sirius pouts, then hums a sympathetic noise from the back of his throat. He keeps his hands on your shoulders. “It’s okay, honey. Don’t worry about it, yeah?”

You close your eyes and incline your head to lean it down on his ringed-up hand. Your cheek all smooshed up against him.

“Is she okay?” You hear him ask James. He hums a yes. “She’s not concussed?”

“She doesn’t think so,” he says.

“She is right here,” you mumble. You pull back from his chest and swing your legs over the chair.

"I'm sorry, lovely." He looks like he wants to hug you again. "You're okay? Had some water?"

You nod. "Just really wanna go home."

"All right, let's go, yeah?" James takes your elbow to help you off the stool, and Sirius steadies you by the shoulder. It's kind of adorable how gentle they're being with you. Soft hands and pinched brows. They both make a funny sound when you wobble a little.

James grabs your bag and throws it over his shoulder and you all leave.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," you say before you get to the door. "Were you at work? You won't get in trouble for leaving, will you?"

"No, it's okay. Don't worry about that." He smiles.

You will. You'll no doubt feel bad for the rest of the week.

You bump into Remus on your way out. He holds the door open for you. He looks like he's run up the block. "Rem, baby, they didn't call you too?" You're not sure why you hadn't expected it. If he wasn't here, he'd definitely feel horrible.

"Dove, you're okay?" he pants. He holds your face in his hands and you try not to cry. You're not sure if having them all here makes you feel better or worse. "God, I was so worried."

The first tear leaves a hot track down your cheek. You push yourself into Remus's chest instead of answering and wrap your hands around his waist. He crosses his arms over your back.

He moves you out of the way of the entrance and you scuffle along with him. Your tears are slow, dampening his shirt, catching the brunt of your upset. You don't make any horrible sounds, just quiet, sticky tears.

He encourages your face back with a firm, pinching hand. You blink back the end of your cries. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare everyone."

"Don't worry," he says, corners of his mouth trembling into a sad smile. "It's all good. As long as you're okay."

"I just," you take a stuttering breath, "just got really tired. I probably shouldn't have worked today."

Sirius kisses the end of your eyebrow, right across your temple. "You've been working a bit too much, I think."

"I didn't ruin anyone's day?" You sniffle way too sadly for anyone's opinion. Remus squeezes you closer with almost bruising fingertips.

"No, lovely," James says, sticky smile gracing his lips. "Don't worry about it, okay? We just wanted to be here for you. That's our job."

"Right," you say, voice catching at the end.

Sirius shucks your jacket on for you as the wind outside picks up. "Speaking of being here for you," he says. "Is James your emergency contact?"

"No, you all are," you tell him, a hint of laughter in your words.

"Right."

Then, you start actually laughing. "Was he the only one to pick up?"

"I think so," he joins in.

"What if it was serious?" Suddenly, you're teasing.

"It was serious!" Remus balks.

"You didn't answer the phone!"

Everyone goes quiet. You burst out into the biggest fit of giggles, smiling so widely it hurts. "I'm kidding!" you say, struggling to speak. "God, stop. Look at your faces! Stop - stop it, my head hurts."

James cages you in against his chest, stealing you from Remus. "My poor baby," he coos. "Oh, they're awful, awful boyfriends."

"Fuck off," Sirius grumbles. "Just cause you're always on your phone."

"Don't listen to them, honey." He's awful. "You comin' in my car?"

"If you stop being mean, then yeah."

"Yeah, you fuckin' tell him, Y/N." Comes Remus's grumpy voice.

#james potter #james potter x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #sirius black #sirius black x reader #james potter fanfiction #remus lupin fanfiction #sirius black fanfiction #poly!marauders #poly!marauders x reader #poly marauders #poly marauders fanfic

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gtgbabie0 · 11 months

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hi!! could i request touch starved remus lupin? loved your sirius one!!! xx

-Remus Lupin x Reader

{Remus doesn’t want to seem clingy, he just loves your touch}

Thank you! And of course you can lovely, Enjoy! 💕💕

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Remus chews on the inside of his cheek as you tidy up the kitchen, you’ve been busy all day whether it’s work, studying or chores there was always something that had your attention, anything but him.

It’s ridiculous he thinks, you’re both adults with adult problems and yet here he is sulking because he feels pushed to the side. He blames it partly on the long week he’s had, nothing seemed to be going right and all he wants is to be wrapped up in your warm love and to forget about everything.

However he doesn’t want to come across as clingy, he cringes as the thought crosses his mind, because what if you get sick of it? Sick of him? It’s a thought that festers from some deep-rooted insecurity and he tries his best to talk himself out of thinking that way, but that’s easier said than done especially when those thoughts are at the forefront of his mind.

You smile over at him, the sweetest smile he’s ever seen and there’s an odd sense of guilt that builds up in his chest. He feels awful for moping about all day and he knows he hasn’t been the best of company.

He smiles back at you, although it’s strained it’s still a smile. “Sorry Remmy” you sigh, walking into the living room. He’s sitting on your couch, a throw blanket draped over his knees as he fiddles with the fabric. “But, I’m all done now” You look over at him, your smile dropping as he lets out a shaky sigh, he looks almost frozen as if he wants something but he’s holding back.

Your hand rests against his arm, and he feels the warmth of your palm seeping through his jumper. “Hey, did something happen at work?” You ask, your hand soothing his upper arm, and he thinks he might just start crying because you’re still so caring despite his sour mood.

“No dove, work was fine” he sighs glancing over at you, “I just missed you is all” Your heart clenches in your chest as he whispers the words, his tone so quiet that you almost miss it.

“But I’m right here,” you tell him, slightly confused about where this was coming from.

Then it hits you all at once, as you notice how tears collect in his eyes. You pull him towards you, his arms wrap around you immediately and his hands settle against your back, “It’s been a really long week” he mumbles against your shoulder, breathing you in. You turn your head to press a kiss on his cheek.

Remus pulls back slightly, still close enough that he can feel your body heat radiating against him and he rests his forehead against yours, the ends of his hair tickling your skin, “I’m yours for the entire weekend. No work, no studying, just me and you” you tell him, watching as he smiles widely, bumping his nose against yours.

Your hands cup either side of his face and he sighs softly at the warmth of your palms against his skin. He melts at the way your thumb grazes against the small scar just under his eye, he closes them as he leans into your touch.

“Sounds like a great plan lovely,” he says, his hands resting against your hips as he tugs you closer to him.

His lips press against yours as he gives you little pecks that turn into a slow and gentle kiss, “I love you” you mumble against him, the words have him smiling like a fool and he doesn’t miss the way you let out a breathy giggle.

“Say it again?” He asks dropping a kiss to your jaw.

“I love you Remus” you smile, and he reckons you might just give him heart failure as you play with his hair. He goes completely giddy with love and he can’t quite believe that it’s him you’re talking to.

“I love you too,” he says in between kisses as he litters your face with them, the feeling has you reeling with joy and you both are overtaken with laughter, a sound that has both of your hearts full of sickly love.

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silverameco · 5 days

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Secret Relationship - @wolfstarmicrofic - 746 words

What Sirius didn't forseen, is that a secret relationship implied a secret break-up. Hidden love meant hidden sadness when it was all over. To be completely honest, he never thought it would end at all. He should have known, though, that he would find a way to ruin everything.

It had been a week. A week since Remus said I can't keep doing this. I don't want to be your secret anymore. A week since Sirius was stuck with the secret tears he shed every night, and the awful knowledge than the boy he loved was so close all the time - across the bedroom, the classroom or the dinner table - and yet so far away.

He didn't know what to do. They were so good together. Like friends, but better. All those secret meetings, passionate kisses behind closed doors and heated moments in the intimacy of silencing spells, all of it made Sirius feel more alive than ever. And now it was all over, because of him.

Nobody knew about them. Because he was so scared. Of the world, of himself. So scared he couldn't let himself take Remus' hand in an empty corridor, he couldn't show all the love he felt, couldn't tell the world about how amazing Remus was. But he wanted to. He really wanted to. He didn't even realize Remus drifted away from him, until it was too late. And now he didn't know what to do to fix it. He couldn't tell anyone about it, because nobody knew about them. Because it was like it never existed at all, even though it felt like the only real thing Sirius ever lived.

Well, it was without one James Potter to count on. He was cornered in the dorm one evening, before they went down to dinner. Sirius was sitting on his bed, James joined him and began talking before he could think about fleeing.

"Oi you wanker, what's up with you and Moony ?"

"Um, nothing ?" he felt himself flush with the blatant lie.

"Sirius. You've both been looking like miserable sods for days, and you're barely talking to each other."

Sirius didn't answer, and kept his eyes fixated on his hands, playing with a loose thread from his bedsheets. He didn't know what to say that wasn't a lie. It didn't deter James.

"You've both been so happy these past months. I thought-"

At that, Sirius raised his head to look at James, eyes wide and beseeching. Maybe he wanted someone to know, after all. "You thought ?"

"Well, that you were together."

He said it with a soft voice and a kind smile. Like maybe, it was all okay. Except it wasn't, because they weren't together anymore. He felt the tears welled in his eyes.

"Oh, Pads. What happened ?"

Next thing he knew, he was pulled into a hug, and Sirius was sobbing into James' chest.

"I- I ruined everything. Because I w-was so- so scared. And now he d-doesn't want me any- anymore."

"Padfoot, listen to me. I don't know what happened exactly, but I know that Remus has been looking at you like a lovesick idiot for years. You can't ruin that. I'm sure it's fixable, okay ?"

Before Sirius could answer, the door opened on no other than Remus himself. Sirius straightened himself, hastily wiping his tears.

"Er- sorry, I-"

But then their eyes met, and it was like Remus didn't know what he was going to say anymore. He seemed lost, looking at Sirius' teary face like it was hurting him. Sirius noticed that the circles under his eyes were darker than usual. He wanted to erase them. Before he could think about what he was doing, he got up and stepped in front of Remus.

"Moony." he said in a small, tentative voice, that he barely recognized as his own.

"Yeah ?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "I love you. I want to be with you. I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't. I'm not sure I'm ready to tell everyone yet, but I don't want us to be a secret either. So, if by any chance, you still want me-"

And then, Remus' lips were on his, just like that. Like they've never been apart in the first place, because they shouldn't be. James was cheering obnoxiously behind them and it felt right, because they were too good together, loved each other too much to be a secret.

#of course James knows #silv writes things #wolfstar microfic #wolfstar #james potter wolfstar shipper #sirius black #remus lupin #marauders #marauders era #dead gay wizards

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fourmoony · 4 months

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Hi oh my gosh I love literally everything you write. And you're doing poly!marauders. So excited.

Would you be willing to do something like reader doesn't have a great self-esteem so she never thought she'd find someone who'd love her just the way she is but then she found them. and is just super in love and incredibly happy?

could be nsfw too if you want.

thankyou!

you are so kind, thank you so much, angel! thanks for requesting, hope you like it :) p.s. this is my first time writing poly!marauders so be gentle pls <3

poly!marauders x f!reader | 1.2k words | masterlist

cw - implied self esteem issues

You feel content in your little bubble.

The kitchen is warm and filled with love and laughter and bodies and the conversation flows freely. It's comfortable and cosy and Remus is making soup so really, your day couldn't get any better.

James is cutting vegetables under Remus' watchful gaze and Sirius is practically hanging over Remus' shoulder, as excited as you about the pot of soup on the stove. You're content to just watch them, let them just be from your place on the counter beside the stove. Remus had chastised you'd burn the side of your leg, James had made an ill timed joke about getting to kiss it better, and said burn was yet to occur. So you sit. You watch. You smile to yourself because you're happy.

It's a daily struggle to remind yourself that you're worthy of being included in this little bubble, that the boys want you here as much as you want to be here. Some days it feels impossible, some days you feel like an intruder, like a burden they're too nice to get rid of. Then Sirius does something so stupidly Sirius and Remus will lean over, kiss the shell of your ear and thank you for being the only sane person in the house. And James asks if he can sit with you while you shower. It's not about sex. Not always, at least. James just likes to listen to your day and tell you about his without the constant buzz of conversation around him, sitting on the toilet with fogged up glasses and a smile on his face. He joins you on the bad days, helps you forget. It's peaceful, and it's your ritual.

They do everything they can to remind you, every day, that they want you there, that they love you as you love them. It's a nice feeling, to be wanted, to be loved, to be understood and appreciated. It's an even lovelier feeling to be a part of someone's routine. The showers with James, pestering Remus while he cooks dinner, reading to Sirius until he falls asleep, sprawled out across the three of you on the couch, his breaths heavy and your hand in his hair. It's a nice life you have. That counts for a lot, even on the days you don't feel worthy.

Today isn't necessarily one of those days, but it's there on your face. That 'outsider looking in' type of mood you get when you think about it for too long. You've discovered you're allowed to feel both content and undeserving at the same time - or, at the very least, that it's possible. You often wonder why Remus, Sirius, and James chose you. It's not a secret, you've asked many times and received many answers, varying in seriousness to Sirius' absurd "we tossed a coin.", to which Remus chastised him relentlessly.

You'd laughed, and that was all Sirius had needed.

Now, you're watching the three of them with the same awe you always do, and Sirius seems to catch it in the split second his eyes leave the pot of soup on the stove. He's on you in a second, not a far walk considering you're sitting so close to the gas stove that you're surprised Remus' theory of your burnt thigh hasn't come true. Sirius' eyebrows furrow in that concerned sort of way they often do when he's trying to read one of the three of you, his hands gentle as they come into contact with the pudge of your hips.

"Spill," He tilts his head, lips downturned at the corners and it makes your heart ache.

They've always urged you to be open, to share your concerns and tell them what, exactly is going on in that 'big beautiful brain of yours', as James calls it. But the look of knowing, of concern, on Sirius' face hurts. You hate that after all this time you still feel this way sometimes. Even on the good days, you catch yourself asking what you did to deserve your boys.

"Hm?" You hum, hands lifting to hold the sides of your boyfriend's face in hopes of distracting him altogether.

His hair is tied back, but you curl an index finger around a strand of stark black hair thats fallen into his face and Sirius smiles, soft and lovely, "You've got that," He waves his hand in front of your face with wiggled fingers and you laugh, "look."

"What look?" You ask, leaning forwards to press a kiss to his lips.

Now Remus, if you had tried a move like that, would tsk, tell you to spill before he rewards you, and it's why you know it'll work when you try it with Sirius. He always gives you whatever you like. His lips return the favour, hands pulling you forward a little on the counter. It's a nice kiss, a sweet kiss, until James scoffs and declares Sirius is easily manipulated.

"Am not." He grumbles, shooting your two boyfriends a dirty look.

Remus rolls his eyes into the soup, sets the lid on it to simmer at the same time James drops the knife and starts putting the vegetables into a bowl.

"C'mon, Dove, what's up?" Remus asks, hip balanced against the stove, turned to face you.

He's in his comfies, the first of the four of you to arrive home from work, earlier, and he looks so soft and warm. You know he won't give in to whatever interrogation Sirius has unknowingly started so you heave a sigh and slump back against the wall cabinets.

"Sirius is being dramatic. The 'look' I had was contentedness with a little bit of 'what on earth did I do to deserve these men?'."

Remus' lips turn up at the corners and he crowds your space, pushing an annoyed Sirius to the side for the moment, "You didn't have to do a thing. We love you as is."

You hum, delighted with the appraisal, a bashful smile coming across your lips. Remus kisses it, quick and sweet, and returns to his soup. Sirius sticks his tongue out at the side of Remus' head and you laugh. James passes the vegetables off to Remus because Sirius is not to be trusted with the good kitchen knives after the Christmas Eve in A&E incident last year, and comes up behind Sirius, arms wrapped around his waist, head firmly on his chin.

You know James' back is probably breaking at the angle, but Sirius would simply be offended for the rest of the night if James used his head instead of his shoulder. He's in denial about his height, you suppose.

"It's more like what on earth we did to deserve you. I've no idea how you put up with those two." James gives you a knowing smile as he speaks.

You both wait for Sirius' outrage and Remus' offended scoff. Both come. They team up on the other side of the kitchen, Sirius hovering over Remus and likely causing more of an annoyance. James uses it as an opportunity to get you closer to him, whisk you off to the couch in the living room now his sous chef duties are complete.

You set up the usual dinner time sitcom and pause it, relaxing into your boyfriend and talking about anything and everything until Remus calls that the soup is ready.

In the kitchen as James and Sirius fight over who should get the first bowl, Sirius because he waited so patiently, or James because he actually helped, Remus slides you your own bowl with a lovely big smile reserved just for you, and you couldn't imagine yourself anywhere else in the world.

#marauders #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders #poly!marauders fluff #james potter #james potter fic #sirius black #sirius black fic #remus lupin #remus lupin fic #marauders era #marauders fluff #marauders fic #fluff #love #fourmoonys asks

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ellecdc · 3 months

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Love, i just had a heartbreaking thought; James' first solo excursion with Vix. He'd be so anxious and stressed because all he can think is " i wont leave without her this time" 😭

Could i request paranoid james and vix going shopping alone for the first time?? I feel that hed want one of those stretchy child hand cuff things so he wouldnt lose her

Poor Jamie. I wanna give this sod the biggest hug in the whole wide world

James was losing it - he was well aware of this. Every movement, every car horn, every bell ringing above a shop door, every person laughing or yelling brought him closer to you until you were basically wearing him like a backpack.

"Doing alright, Jamie?" You asked kindly, politely, concernedly. James wanted to shove you under his arm and take cover.

"Yeah, yup. Never better." He said distractedly as he continued to scan your surroundings.

The two of you had volunteered to pick up the cake from the magical bakery on Diagon Alley for Remus' birthday, which quickly turned into shopping for presents in Muggle London, which turned into a full on shopping spree at a large mall.

James hated it.

Being in a building felt claustrophobic and he was panicky watching you even reach for door handles - sure as all get out that the place was quickly becoming consumed by fiendfyre. He didn't fair much better outside, however, feeling as though you were both too vulnerable in the open; desperate to find coverage.

Really, he just wanted to take you home.

"How much longer do you think we'll be?" He asked you as he glared menacingly at a male shopper who had the audacity to wear all black until he left your vicinity.

"Not long, James. I just want to hit the grocery before we head back; it might be nice to have a charcuterie, no?"

James wanted to say "actually, I'm pretty sure shopping for charcuterie might be what kills us, Vix." But since that was crazy, he opted to hum in agreement as you led the way.

The two of you passed by a toy store where he saw a parent walking a child on a lead like a dog. His first thought was 'good lord, muggle parents are something else'. His second though was 'I should buy one for me and Vix'.

He turned back to the direction you two had been heading when he realized he couldn't see you anymore.

"Vix?" He said quietly as he spun in place. "Y/N?!" He shouted louder, garnering attention from the other shoppers near by.

What was he going to do? He couldn't very well pull his wand out right now. He would pull his wand out if he needed to - Azkaban be damned for breaking the statute of secrecy - but he was not going home to Sirius without you again.

"Y/N!" He shouted as he started shoving his head against the glass windows of various shops on the street, trying to catch a glimpse of you.

He felt tears prick his eyes as his breathing became faster. How could he have done this? How could he have lost you again!?

Unawares of the panic you just caused, you exited the shop with a bouquet of lilies for James - knowing he liked having fresh flowers around his home that reminded him of his 'beautiful flower' to find him spinning around frantically with tears streaming down his face like a toddler who lost their parent at the zoo.

"James!" You called as you raised your hand. He spotted you instantly and made for you - crushing your bouquet between the two of you as he enveloped you in a bone crushing hug.

"Where were you!? I couldn't find you anywhere!" He cried as he held on fast to your form. You patted his back consolingly.

"Awe, Jamie. I'm sorry. I thought you were following me - I just wanted to get you some flowers!" You explained as you pulled the slightly flattened bouquet away from your body.

All anxiety and any pretence of anger slipped away as James beamed at the bouquet. "You got me flowers!?" He shrilled as he took them from you.

You beamed right back at him and gave him another hug. "I'm sorry for frightening you, Prongs. Why don't we go to the grocery and then head home?"

James took a steadying breath and nodded at you.

"Can we hold hands?" He asked somewhat sheepishly.

You immediately held out your hand which he quickly enveloped with the one not holding his bouquet as you set off for the shops.

He didn't let your hand go until you made it into Grimmauld Place and Sirius hollered at him for making moves on his girl.

#marauders come back be here #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #marauders x reader #marauders #ask elle #self insert #reader insert #sirius black #james potter

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romancingdaffodils · 8 months

Text

Drunken Monologues

Certified Mind Blower

remus lupin x gender neutral!magical!reader

fluff fluff pure fluff with a tiny sprinkle of Remus being silly about his furry little problem.

Remus Lupin is the cutest cutie that ever did cute!

You fell asleep at his house, in his bed, beside him. Despite what your ‘drunken’ self may have wanted Remus just put you to sleep. Then, you wake up to the sound of his voice and to the scent of something sweet. Oh, and a splitting headache.

haii did you miss me i bet you did (lots of love lilac)

ps i think this picture is super cute because my best friend taught me how to play backgammon and i’m shit at it but it makes me happy :333 matt hitt is so cute

Remus Lupin has been and always will be unbearably pretty. So, when you woke up in his bed, it was a bit of a shock. However, that shock was soon overcome by the consequences of your previous actions. ‘Ow, my head.’ you thought, groaning once again. You were certain you hadn’t been that drunk, but maybe you were in denial. Not being that drunk should not warrant this awful headache. Suddenly, it dawned on you. You were alone in the bed. Surely Remus wasn’t the type to fuck off from his own house just because he wasn’t interested in you, right? Right? Sitting up, another sensation other than the splitting headache hit you. The smell of pancakes and the sound of Remus’s voice. Yum (for both). He’s talking, was he on the phone? You wanted to groan again, feeling like it was too much energy to move to the lounge. However, for more of Remus, you’d do anything.

“I’d say sorry Pads,” Sirius from last night, you remind yourself “But, I’m not sorry at all. They’re lovely, absolutely perfect.” he said, his voice muffled slightly by the walls. You can’t hear Sirius’s voice but you imagine he said something along the lines of ‘Honestly Moony, never expected that from you,’. As you had this thought, it set in he was talking about you. Fuck. Your face flushed and every single thing you’d said last night popped into your head. Late night slideshows of embarrassment now had enough fuel to last a life time. Padding out of the bedroom, you stood in the doorway to the lounge.

“Dunno why you’re so bothered, heard you went home with someone else anyway, Mckinnon was it? Or perhaps the bartender guy, who couldn’t leave you alone?” Remus said, chuckling down the phone. You were glad Sirius wasn’t bothered by your infatuation with his friend, seeing as he’d gone home with someone else. In front of him, two plates of pancakes were being coated in strawberries and chocolate spread. Sirius shouted so loud down the phone that you actually heard it this time.

“‘Cause it was a fucking betrayal Remus!” he whined and you couldn’t help but giggle at his remark. Immediately, the tall boys head whipped round and he flashed you a smile.

“Good bye Sirius.” he replied, hanging up instantly. “Made breakfast, how long have you been awake?” he asked, still grinning at you; you smiled back.

“Not long, thanks for breakfast. Looks good.” you said, trying desperately hard not to fumble over your words. Your cheeks were still flushed and your brain was still mush.

“You alright, love? Y’look- quite red. How’s your head?” he questioned, as though he could read your mind. The statement ‘you look quite red’ was obviously a teasing one. So, when you frowned up at him, his grin only grew. Stomach twisting, you tried desperately hard not to give him a reaction to his pet name.

“I’m fine, thanks. Plus, you’re completely and utterly awful.” you complained, still frowning up at him.

“I made you breakfast and I’m awful. You were a lot braver last night.” he teased, picking up the two plates and placing them down on the breakfast bar.

“I remember you being a lot less mean last night.” you complained, still scowling at him. Your false anger didn’t last long as you sat down and gave a big smile. “Thank you.” you added, tilting your head.

“ ‘m incredible, dunno what you’re talking about. And, you’re welcome. How’d you sleep?” he replied, sitting down next to you and stretching out his legs. He was so unbelievably pretty, even with messy hair and too big pyjamas - which consisted of a band shirt and joggers.

“Really, really well actually. You? Oh, by the way. Sorry about, you know, everything I said last night. I’m not normally like that.” you mumbled in between bites of freakishly good pancakes. Chocolate spread and strawberries were an unmatched combo (only lemon juice and sugar could beat it).

“Slept well too. Plus, quite enjoyed you telling me how, ahh what was it? Fucking gorgeous you think I am. But, seriously, no worries.” Remus teased, but his tone deepened at his last sentence.

“I feel like I forced my way into your home.” you giggled, smiling over at him sheepishly.

“I’m not complaining. Y’lovely. I know you heard me say that to Sirius, by the way. You don’t really have the whole poker face nailed, do you?”.

“No, no not really.” you mumbled, becoming flustered once again. Watching Remus, you admired his every move as he finished off the pancakes. Similarly, he couldn’t take his eyes away from you. “Let me help, like do the washing up or something.” you said, standing up as soon as you finished the food “I feel bad, you’ve been so nice.”.

“You really don’t have to, but, if you want to you can.” he stated, smiling over at you as you took the plate away. Quickly, you got to work on washing the plates. He laughed lightly as he watched you, shaking his head.

“Are you laughing at me?” you asked, feigning offence. Approaching you, Remus placed his arms on either side of you. You turned around, having finished with the washing up. His face was only a few inches away from your own.

“Would never.” he defended, looking down at you. Remus Lupin was ridiculously tall, pretty and charismatic. He dressed like a loser, but was in fact - in your eyes - quite the opposite. Right now, he was all you had ever wanted.

“Hi.” your mind was at a complete blank and the fact you had even formed a word was impressive. Your body felt like it was on fire.

“Hello, dove.” he purred, trying hard not to laugh at the look on your face. As calm as Remus presented himself, he had a dead giveaway. A tell. White knuckles. He was gripping the sink so tightly his knuckles had altered into a pale, almost translucent white.

“You didn’t kiss me yesterday.” you stated, feeling it rather appropriate for the situation. He smiled. You swallowed, hard.

“No, I didn’t. You were quite drunk. However, it would be awful of me to not kiss you today.” he murmured in response, leaning closer in. Your mind was filled with a repetitive sequence of two words. Kiss me. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. His teasing was criminal. He was driving you insane within the first day of knowing him and you couldn’t imagine the solace his kiss would bring.

“So awful,”. You had to bite your tongue to avoid begging him to kiss you.

Moving even closer towards you, Remus’s tight grip on the sink never once faltered. And, finally, sweet relief. He kissed you like you’d never been kissed before. Soft, sweet and somehow it held a passion that sent your brain into a wicked frenzy. When he pulls away, you pant.

It was good. Too good. Far too good.

“You’re so pretty, ‘s unfair.” he cooed, releasing the sink and running his hand through your hair. Tenderly, he tucked the majority of your unbrushed hair behind your ears. Remus didn’t really seem to mind the mess.

“Ha-ha. Haha.” you said. Yes, you spoke the sounds “Ha-ha.” Sounding somewhat like a maniac, all you could do was look up at him with pure adoration.

“Are you okay?” he asked, tilting his head. Once again, he was trying desperately hard not to laugh.

“Perfectly- Um, perfectly fine.” you confirmed, nodding your head as you spoke. Once again, the broken record spinning that was in your mind began its maniacal chant. ‘Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.’ you begged, silently.

“Still not got a poker face, dove.” he observed, leaning back in. Connection. Morning breath and all. Connection. You were praying you wouldn’t collapse of the sensation of it all. Your hands shakily found their way into Remus’s hair. Carelessly, his hands moved to your waist and pulled you closer.

In books it’s common for the writer to describe the characters emotions whilst kissing; it emphasises how good the sensation truly is. However, right now, you were going against all laws of literature. All you could think, feel or live was Remus. One day was all it took for you to be whipped. Truly, taken. One day.

With your head tilted upwards and your body pressed flush against the brown haired man’s, you could’ve died. Unfortunately, he pulled away. Taking in slow deep breaths, he peered down at you. The look in his eyes was different. He had attraction and affection, sure. But, there was something else there. His expression changed, now matching the look in his eyes. It looked like he was fighting some sort of battle with himself.

And, honestly? Remus was fighting a battle. He liked you, from what he could tell anyway. He liked you a lot. However, Remus Lupin was burdened with a curse he wouldn’t dare admit to anyone bar his closest friends. His so called furry little problem actually turned out to be a rather large problem. Especially when it came to people like you.

Famously, he was promiscuous. God knows the number of people he’d been with. But, those hookups could be reduced to a number. Someone like you couldn’t be inconsequential. In fact, he was of the firm belief you were going to be quite consequential in deed. Reducing you to another quick affection fix would be doing you a great disservice, so Remus thought anyway. So here he was, in his own kitchen, desperately pleading with his own brain to let him take you out. You kissed like some sort of God and you begged like a desperate follower; his body couldn’t decide which part of you he liked the most. In turn, that was what led to the ultimate decision to ask you out. Reminding himself of James, Sirius and Pete’s never ending pep talks, the lanky man understood his lycanthropy did not make him any less worthy of what he wanted. However, trying to act on that was an unbelievably difficult task for Remus. The typical excuse of chronic pain won’t cut it in a serious relationship, when he disappears for days. And, he felt a pang of guilt already fiddling with his intestines for any pain it would bring you. Making his mind up was proving to be far more difficult than he would’ve liked.

His heart won the fight, for once. Foolishly, he had put his logic driven brain aside and let his heart do the talking. (He’d soon come to realise it wasn’t foolish at all).

“Do you wanna go out, this week sometime?” he asked, continuously taking the lead. Grateful, you smiled up at him.

“Yeah, actually. I’d really, really like that.” you affirmed, once again nodding your head like a babbling idiot.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus x reader #remus x you #sirius black #james potter #marauders era #let me out #i’m dying #i hate writing

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futurewriter2000 · 9 months

Text

Warm Enough

A/N: Spent all day writing this with some distractions in between but I love it! LOVE IT! I still got it.

REQUEST: Post!Azkaban Sirius is really burned out with Grimmauld Place but he absolutely refuses to go outside in the snow no matter how many jackets he has on bc the cold reminds him of the dementors in Azkaban and reader helps him work through it.

(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED)

He slept... and slept... and slept...

The curtains were covering the little light that was trying to make way to that darkened room- the room that never changed, not one thing was moved since he left it. His desk was covered in papers from his Hogwarts days, some awful written essays about potions for Professor Slughorn and there were drawings of werewolves, vampires, ghouls and charicature of Remus and Peter from their boy ages. Peter had overly large eyes and thick glasses stuck on him, mustache and some pimples, meanwhile Remus had large ears, awfully crooked nose and half missing teeth. It was funny back then because James and Sirius both drew that together during Arithmancy class. James had a talent for drawing, everybody that knew him knew that and Sirius, growing up by his side, managed to pick that up as well. Never good as James... in anything... James was always better. So why was it that it had to be James the one that was murdered and not him. Sirius would give anything to have switched places. James would handle all of this so much better than he did.

Sirius’ sides were hurting from laying in the bed but it was as if the gravity was pulling him into the matress. His pillow felt uncomfortable though and so did every position he tried to fall back asleep. He hasn’t looked much around his room since he came back. He hasn’t noticed the past, whteher that was a conscious decision or sub-conscious. All he ever saw was his bed that always seemed to pull him into slumber. Why he woke up? The dreams started to turn into nightmares. Memories would hunt him, sometimes good memories from his boy days and sometimes memories from his 20′s- those he would suppose to enjoy the most. He didn’t. He spent it in the cold and darkness, that was why the bed was so inviting. It was warm, so warm and comforting.

He heard a knock on the door and a head peered through. He lifted his head a bit, only to see the shape or the little sign to know who it was.

“May I come in?” said the voice.

He wailed quietly and shuffled himself amont the silk sheets. Maybe he did despise his family but at least they bought silk.

“I will take that as a yes.” the person shuffled in the room and closed the door. “Blimey, Sirius. What are you- a vampire?” the curtains broke open and there was more light in the room, shining over every piece of furniture that hid in the dark for all these years. The person opened the door widely and the freezing, sharp cold burst in against the skin, causing the reaction of goosebumps.

“I’d like to sleep.”

“It’s three pm.”

“I’ll get up at four.” he shuffled his head in the sheets as the cold reached his nose far too quick.”

He could feel the infamous glare- the one only you could make to make him quirk a smile. You crossed your arms over and smirked.

“So this is your room.” you let go of the hold and let your hands roam free over the furniture. “It does match your personality quite well- OH! A pony bike!” you laughed and made your way to it. Blue and a bit dusty but it would still probably work if you tried it.

He peeked through the sheets and started to watch you wander.

For some odd reason, you wore pink shirt and a black trainer. He’s not used to you wearing such light colours, especially pink. You were more of a moddy, dark teenager as he remembered, just like most of them were. Your figure was womanly, curves in all the right places and your hands- your whole body moved so delicatly, elegantly over his room.

You came over his desk and saw the drawings hiddent underneath the paper.

‘James’ - you thought and smiled as you saw his usual drawing style. Your smile widened at the sight of the charicatures. You didn’t want to open this theme though. Not in front of him. Not when he slept for so long in the darkness of his own home. You knew this subject always opened a wound in him- a wound that resulted in fury and revenge.

“Cannot believe you still have Slughorn’s paper.” you grabbed it and started reading it, laughing midway. “And it’s horrible.” you laughed and he rolled his eyes, laying on his back.

“Well, I despised Potions and that man was all about Snape and Lily being the best of the best of his favorite, perfect little apprentices.” he mocked and you laughed, making his way towards him.

You laid on the bed next to him, placing your arms on top of his chest as you did almost 20 years ago. The two of you never dated but you both were in the same friendgroup. Back then you found him quite childish and annoying but you’ve always cared about him. It was a bit sad there was only three of you left... four if you count the rat Peter.

He smiled at the sight. He never told you that back then but whenever you did that, drunk or not, he always felt such a rush of heat rush his body. His heart would go into a whole new world of high rollercoaster rides and Merlin, the face you made- the look you gave him with those glimmering eyes- the glimmer that never seemed to go away throughout the years. He felt himself sweat onto his perfect silk and the cold never seemed too cooling enough to bring down his tempeture.

“I miss those times sometimes.” you said, looking into his eyes as he gazed into yours.

“Yeah... I never imagined it would en up like this, you know?”

“There can still be a happy ending, you know?” you said, drawing circles on his chest but he hated that because it made him arouse and so he put his hand on top of yours to stop. “Sorry.” you said. “I forgot.” You knew he hated that, you just thought it was because he hated it in general, not the real reason behind it.

There was a moment of silence and for the longest of time, he wanted to ask you this quiestion. “Did you believe it?”

You lied down next to him, staring at the ceiling. “Believe what?”

“That I did it.”

You knew it was going to be something among those lines but you were going to answer it truthfully. “I didn’t...at first. I couldn’t- it didn’t make any sense to me. From all the years I have known you, I just couldn’t put your personality and that action together.” you paused and looked at him. The two of you were so close, in his bed and that made you not only nervous but extremely, beaucoup nervous.

“And then?” he asked, watching every facial movement you made.

“I had to... somehow believe it.” you sat up from the guilt, even though he didn’t blame you for one bit. He believed he killed them too, if he was truly honest with himself... but he wasn’t. “Somebody had to take the blame and after years, I had to point at somebody because I was still so mad that they died. Especially when I saw Harry on the news- something inside of me just exploded. I was angry because there was logic fighting with me and the need to blame somebody for it. Peter was supposed to be dead, you know? And everything led to you. So either I was going to get crazy for not believing it or I should just accept it and have peace.” you turned back to him and he was smiling a bit. Shocked, you furrowed your eyebrows and asked: “What?”

“You’re just so funny when you care what I think.” he sat up as well, feelig the pain in his legs burn from all the lying around. Yet it was too cold for him and he had to close the windows. He had to.

“You laugh but I felt so guilty when Remus told me the truth. It was the shock all over again.” you walked behind him. “I don’t understand why didn’t you just tell us the truth?”

“Would that have made any difference?” he said as he turned around from the window only to find you standing close to him... too close. “James was dead. Lily was dead and like you said- all evidence pointed to me. If nothing I was guilty of attempted murder.” he started to walk out of the room, you following.

“It would have made all the difference in the world.” you started to raise your voice a bit and he noticed that, bringing up his hot-headed temper.

“I really don’t want to talk about that, right now, (y/n).” he gritted his teeth.

“Well, not talking about it won’t make it go away.”

“I know that.” he turned towards the kitchen.”

“It would have made a difference to Harry, to Remus- to me!” you started to shout as he burst into the kitchen and you right behind him.

He opened the cupboards quite aggressively and you could see he was a bit furious.

You wanted to be furious- you did. You wanted to explode and make a whole mess about it but you knew... that wouldn’t bring you any satisfaction. It would only make chaos.

You could see it in his eyes- those angry, feisty dark grey eyes that you shouldn’t make a storm out of rain, so you took a deep breath in and put your hand on top of his. “I’m sorry.” you said softly and you could feel his hand relax, the veins on top of his slim fingers disappear back into its depths and his eyes soften.

He closed one of the cupboards and leaned onto the counter.

“I just don’t like to get reminded of my mistakes, (y/n). That’s all.” he said, looking at you through those dark curls of his that fell in front of him. “Don’t you think I know what I did? And every day I was reminded in that cell... every day of those 12 years.” he let out a pitiful laugh, turning around to lean his backside on the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. “You lot kept me alive.” he continued to smile. “And you also made me fall in the darkest corners of my soul.” his smile now faded. “I was trapped in that stupid cell, filled with rage and revenge and you were out there living your best lives- living your twenties how we talked about we would.” he sighed, trying not to look at you but you made him do it by standing in front of him. He wanted to continue but you already wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. He let go of his arm hold and wrapped his arms around your torso, sighing and nuzzling close into your neck.

“Should we go for a walk?” you whispered into his shoulder and he gently pulled away, looking down into your eyes. “To breathe- to clear your head?” you smiled but he only moved away and moved his head sideways as a no.

“I don’t really want to.” he walked towards the fridge to get some milk. “Plus everybody would recognise me.”

“I know this path in the back- it’s really nice and brings a lot of solitude. It’s quite enchanted now that it’s all covered in a white coat.”

But that didn’t convince him.

“I don’t really want the cold.” he poured the milk into a cup and put the cup into microwave.

“Why don’t you just heat it on the stove? It’s faster.” you judged immediately.

“It’s faster in the microwave.”

“It’s faster on the stove.”

“But the milk gets all burnt on the bottom.”

“You pour a bit of water on the bottom.”

“Too much work.”

“You’re too much work.” you now bickered and he laughed. “Anyways, it’s snowing and you just put the jacket on- come on.”

“No jacket would be enough to keep me warm- even if I turned into a bear- I won’t.” he stood next to the microwave, crossing his arms again and you mimicking him.

“You’ve been stuck in here for too long. Don’t be a lazy sod and go for a walk.”

“No.”

“What do you mean no? Are you afraid of little snowflake?” you started to tease. “Will it wet your perfect curls? Newsflash, they’ll start to fall off soon anyway.”

“Oi! Don’t mess with receeding hairline- alright.” he started to comb his hair. “Our genes are strong.”

“Not all genes make it.”

“Oh, sod off.” he waved his hand in front of you and pulled the cup out. “You’re just jealous of it.”

“It’s overrated.” you mocked and he chuckled.

“Come on, I’m serious.” you leaned on the counter in front of him, pleading with your eyes. “It’s just a little snow. We used to love it.”

He kept his eyes on yours and he could feel his knees giving into it more than his soul did. No... that was a lie. His soul would succumb to you, especially when you acted like that.

Almost though.

“It’s not the snow that bothers me.” he mumbled and walked past you, into the living room.

Again, you followed him. “Then what is it?”

You couldn’t figure it out. Nothing really happened. James and Lily died on the end of October and nobody’s birthday was in January that you know of... so what is it.

“I just don’t like the cold.” he sat down and turned on the TV, sipping on his choco.

“It’s not even that cold. It’s barely 8 degrees. It’s not even on zero.” you rolled your eyes and sat down beside him.

“If you want to go, then go. I’m not.” he started to speak with a sharper tone.

You sat there, speechless. You really didn’t understand this man. You knew he wasn’t the same man as he was 12 years ago but there was something in Sirius that always screamed adventure. He wasn’t an introvert and he wasn’t the one that would hate to go outside. If you could find him anywhere in Hogwarts, it was definitely outside. So it made you sad to see him like this. See somebody so down... but you won’t force him to go out either. It doesn’t feel right.

“I just wanted to make you feel better.” you mumbled as you got up and left the living room.

You didn’t look back. You couldn’t because of all the tears that were gathering in your eyes. It felt such a big rush of emotions climbing up from the bottomless you threw them all these years ago. It felt like grief... but not for James and Lily and the other friends you lost in that war. It was for Sirius because that day, you lost him too and you felt so much love inside of you that you had nowhere to give. Yes, he was imprisoned for 12 years and he must have suffered the loss but did that mean that your problems, your grief, your importance was less worthy than his because your problems were smaller than his. You went through a lot after Sirius was imprisoned. The hours of questioning, the terror in those nights that followed, insomnia, anxiety attacks, tears of loss- losing one person by one- counting down the days of when this is all going to be over. He may have been imprisoned, far away from all of that- he didn’t get to see others slip away slowly and he didn’t have family that fought in those.

You wiped the tears away from your eyes and washed your hands, opening the doors widely before seeing him appear in front with an apologetic look in his eyes.

You couldn’t, however. Not when your thoughts and emotions were raging inside of you. The bells of the past rang so loudly in your head that you pushed past him and walked into your room.

He followed.

You couldn’t say anything. There was something squeezing your heart so tightly right now that you only faced away from him, towards the white snow in front of you, a window glass seperating the two of you. Tears wanted so badly to climb up but you fought them with all your might. He won’t see you cry. He just won’t.

But he knew. He knew you were upset and he knew why. You could have stayed in your apartment, enjoying your normal life, going to work, watering plants if you had any, going out with your friends, working on your hobbies... and you’re throwing all that away to spend your days with him, closed up in this house and trying to give him any feeling of normal you can. Hell, he should be even thankful that you decided to speak to him. You were always the toughest in the friend group, yet somehow the most understanding one.

“It was cold there...” he started, sitting down on your bed and watching you face him your back. “And at first I didn’t mind it. I felt like I deserved it. I felt like I killed them all.” he said. “I didn’t know what was happening outside those walls and I preffered it that way. James was dead and he was the only thing I kept thinking about. I didn’t think about Lily or Harry or anybody really. James was always so much more than my best friend and I loved him- God, I loved him... even if he was so much better than me in every possible way, I couldn’t envy him because I loved him so much. He was everything I had. His parents were gone and then he was gone and without him... I just couldn’t function properly.” he looked up at you but you didn’t move, he could only see your reflection in the mirror, looking back at him. “And at first, the revenge, the fury inside of me was keeping me warm so the cold didn’t really matter but when that faded away, I could feel my toes freeze up. I walked up and down the cell, every day. Eight thousand steps every day... a few jumping jacks to get my blood pumping if I had any energy inside me left but it only lasted around 20 minutes. Then cold hit... again.” he said and suddenly, he could feel you sit beside him and the way your cherry blossom lotion made its way into his nostrils.

He didn’t dare to look at you. Not now when he was so vulnerable. The only thing he could do was look at your hand and wanting its warm touch to give him comfort as it always did... but it didn’t. It was just there... in his vision... so far away. Touch his arm, his thigh, his hair... anything- he wants it so badly when all his emotions are in chaos.

He looked away, gathering his thoughts. “I could deal with Dementors for a while as well but that didn’t last either. There were some days, months even, especially in the winter when the food was hard, tasteless and... well, cold... not much of it either. I started to lose my energy to do those walks or jumping jacks or to move a muscle. I laid there on that bed and tried to warm myself with all the clothes and blankets I could muster. I was weak and Dementors... it’s like they smell you and he came and I was sleeping when I felt it. I was so confused and-and-” he lost his train of thoughts as his eyes moved left and right on the ground as if he still couldn’t believe he let himself get caught like that.

Then there it was. That warmth, right between his lats, down his spine to his toes and up to his arms. It was like a relief and he could finally look at you, looking back at him with tear-filled eyes and a comforting smile- the one that he adored so much. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” you said and he smiled, tears dripping down as he grabbed your face between his palm and leaned his forehead on yours.

“Oh, no!” he smiled so brightly and looking at you. “I want to tell you what I did next.” he said and put your hands into his, kissing the top of it and making you smile. “When you want a Dementor to leave you alone, you had to think of your happy memories and if I tried to think of James, I could only think of the grief and the pain his death left on me. And I thought so hard to think of something happy and I thought of you.” he leaned his chin on top of your hands and watched you with a smile, eyes gilstening from all the tears that continued to fall. He was in too deep now. “Whenever you walked into the room it was always lighter, wasn’t it? Everybody loved you and the way you bickered with James- it was the most funniest thing in the world. He simply adored you though- everybody did because you were this light in everybody’s lives. People came to you like magnets and you sort of ran away from them sometimes.” he laughed and you laughed with him.

“It was a gift I didn’t really like.”

“But you accepted them anyway.” he continued. “And besides James, you were the only one that could make me say things out loud- whenever I had any girl problems or army- I could tell you the most random things I thought in the middle of the day because you were so easy to talk to- so accepting of everybody and everything but you still had your boundaries. You were the one people came to when they needed something because no matter what, you had it and you didn’t judge us for it. And I remembered that day we got wasted with Remus in our room and you would lay down on me like you do, look at me with your eyes and I would just fall in love all over again with you- every time. That day and the day you looked at me in your black skirt and white shirt underneath the blazer. And another day when you would just lay your head on my shoulder and I would tell you to sod off but when you did it, it was the best thing.” you laughed a bit because you knew it was true. You liked to flirt with all the boys in the friend group but it was always innocent, except with Sirius because he was the one that was always single and the two of you would always mess around. You knew the two of you liked each other but it never felt right at the time.

“You fancied me.” you gooed at him and he smiled.

“I still do.” he brought your hands closer to his chest. “Back then it really felt like a casual fancy but the dementor left and I could find myself on the ground smiling at the memory of you- then it hit me. I need to know what happened to you and there was nobody there to tell me what- so I stayed hopeful that please, not you. And it was a horrible thought to have but I prayed and I wished that if I ever get out of here, you would still be alive.”

“And I am.” you smiled.

“You are. It was one of the first things I checked before I ran for Harry.” he laughed, thinking back. “You were out with a friend and laughing so much with her- and she was quite funny.”

“You stalker.” you fooled around and he laughed.

“I was for a bit but I couldn’t face you back then... and I couldn’t face cold again because I spend 12 years in that tempeture, shivering and surviving- felt as if it was the second version of Hell nobody mentioned before... and every winter since I just... I can’t face it.”

You watched his head fall back down and you knew you had to understand him... but you also understood fear and fear was not real.

“You’re not there anymore.” you said. “You’re here and if you continue to think that this cold is the same cold as it was in Azkaban, then you are still stuck there.” you continued as he watched. “And I’m here... not Dementors or any other prisoner- me.” it was your turn to place your palms underneath hsi jaw and scrunch your nose. “And my torture is different. I can bring you out and shove your face into the snow just like I did every time.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, James shoved your face into the snow.”

“That’s debatable. It has been a long time, your memory must be foggy.”

“I think I can remember (y/n) the Snowman.”

“Turning mean now, aren’t we?”

He only laughed.

“And you know what... if you get cold I’ll be right there to bring you back into your warm home.”

He smiled, seeing so much of you in this entire moment that the two of you shared and it clicked, just like it clicked all these years before... “I think you are my warm home.”

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines #marauders #marauders imagine #marauders era #maruaders imagine #marauders imagines #james potter #remus lupin

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exhaustedcatte · 9 months

Text

Are we doing this here? (yes)

Remus ran his sweaty palms over his suit, which did nothing to dry them off given that the material was very silky.

“My god, Lily, you should’ve asked someone else to sub in,” Remus muttered balefully.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed, accent thick – it only ever came out when she was nervous. “You made bigger numbers than Susan when you filled in for her last time.”

“I wish I was knee deep in editing instead,” he said, just to keep the banter going.

Remus wasn’t mad about Lily asking him to fill in for her co-worker, mainly because the carpet they were on was for a Period Era film whose book had him crying for days. No, he was just very out of depth being in front of a camera and not a screen. Besides, this must be what people call Nepotism. Remus was simply an editor, who cuts clips out and makes a nice video out of it. Lily, who’d pulled strings to get Snarky little Remus Lupin out here, did so with the intention of getting him to do some networking.

“No, you don’t, not when Black will be here,” she replied knowingly.

She knew too much, honestly. Lily simply barked a laugh when he told her that.

He tried to settle his nerves by doing a headcount of the reporters on the carpet. He thought he might reach Nirvana once he’d counted upto the 90 mark, but his cameraman starts clicking the little button with such force, Remus is startled out of the ‘counting sheep to sleep’ method he was using.

“Oh my god,” Lily applied her lipstick hastily. “Remus! Remus that’s Dame Minerva McGonagall.”

He bit his lip, trying to contain his own excitement. “Who gets her?”

They were both under the same network, it would make no sense for both of them to interview her with similar questions.

“Do you… do you want it?” Lily asked.

Remus saw the generosity in her offering her role model to him. “Of course not, Lils. I was only pulling your leg.”

She punched his arm. “I was about to replace you with Frank.”

Remus’ cameraman, Frank Longbottom, popped his head from behind the huge camera, “Oh, piss off.”

Minerva strode into their section after getting her photographs taken. Remus stepped away in awe. He’d never been so close to anyone famous, well excluding his one boyfriend – who wrote three love songs about him and then dumped him after the songs blew up. They’d been together at the cusp of his fame. Remus squashed the thought of Caradoc Dearborn, the nation’s favourite Pop Artist, according to Daily Prophet.

“Miss Minerva,” Lily smiled brightly, “you look lovely. Might I know who you’re wearing?”

“Why, you look beautiful yourself,” the woman smiled. “This was a work of Pandora Lovegood.”

“It looks stunning,” Lily reiterated sincerely. She segued into her question smoothly with, “The pantsuit must’ve been easier to wear than traditional Victorian outfits, right?”

“Oh yes,” she nodded. “Many, many layers.”

“This film is also your comeback after two years, how does it feel?”

They’re lucky they secured the entry spot on the carpet, because the other interviewers are likely to ask the same questions as these actors progress down the line.

“It’s very special. I’ve known the director, James Potter, for a few years now and working with him has been lovely because he really eased me into it,” Minerva spoke fondly of James Potter and it was all but a miracle that Lily’s knees didn’t give out judging by the dizzy expression that overtook her smile when her celebrity crush was name dropped. (Remus knew Lily as well as she knew him, so it was never a disadvantage really.)

“The trailer also broke records, have you got any anecdotes to spare about scenes that have been revealed?”

Minerva pondered for a few. “I found it very difficult to chase Sirius around set when he thought dropping seeds on my hat was a good idea. I almost had a pigeon infestation on me.”

“Did you have to run in the gown?” Lily laughed good-naturedly.

Remus also had to hold back a snort at the vivid image of the Dame running behind Sirius Black and a flock of pigeons trailing her.

“Running after him was a personal choice, it wasn’t a shot for the movie,” the actress said primly, making everyone laugh again.

“I wish the movie great success, it was lovely meeting you,” Lily bade her goodbye.

Minerva smiled once again before heading over to the next reporter.

“How was I?” Lily asked.

“Good, but a touch too nervous maybe,” Remus offered honestly.

“Okay.” She spotted Slughorn making his way over to them and straightened, “It’s go time.”

The old veteran was suited up in boring grey slacks and a grey suit jacket with a plain white shirt under. Remus wished there were less boring men’s outfits on the carpet, at least then it’d make it interesting for him to edit these things, it would provide great gossip material.

Lily breezed through the next couple interviews, trying to shuffle her questions between them to make it less monotonous for both parties.

When Narcissa Malfoy finally sashayed away, Lily slugged half of Remus’ ginger lemon tea. “This thermos is god sent, the tea is so warm.”

“I know. It was Caradoc’s last christmas present. But it’s so good, I couldn’t justify throwing away just because he was a shit ex.”

“His money anyway,” Lily winked. Her voice sounded too hoarse.

“Want me to go?” Remus asked.

Her shoulders slumped, a bit relieved. “I would appreciate that.”

Remus steadied his mind, just a few questions and that’s all there was. You can do this, you got this, it’s just a few minutes and – Holy fucking god.

Marlene McKinnon stepped out of her car in a sequinned dress, thigh high slit and tall pumps.

Remus managed to snag her first out of the sea of interviewers.

“Good evening,” he smiled. “You look gorgeous, very old Hollywood.”

Her blonde hair was pinned up, lips painted blood red, mole under her eye, black sequinned dress glimmering in the flashes of the cameras.

“Thank you so much, but I have to thank Fortescue for this.”

Her ability to understand cues was very well appreciated by Remus.

“I must say, your role in the movie seems to be rather demanding psychologically,” Remus started off strong, “judging by the book and the trailer, of course.”

Marlene blinked away her surprise fast. Women were usually not asked about their character’s personalities very often.

“Harriet is a bit of a character,” she said eagerly. “She’s too strict on herself and clearly a bit emotionally constipated,” Marlene laughed.

“Was it difficult to recover from that kind of a role?”

“It was,” Marlene’s surprise bled into her voice. “Harriet’s strictness with herself often translated into her constantly picking herself apart so my confidence did see it’s ups and downs.”

“And she’s also Irish!“ Remus redirected towards something lighthearted. “How was working the accent for you?”

“I’m so used to London, it took a lot of work to get my pronunciation as close to a native as I could,” she admitted sheepishly.

Remus grinned, watch pulsating silently on his wrist. “Well, Harriet, I wont keep you long, for your duties call you elsewhere.”

“Wow,” Marlene laughed, “you’re better than Sirius, man!”

“I wouldn’t make it past auditions, Marlene,” he deadpanned.

She giggled. “Give yourself some credit. Sirius only remembered his dialogues when he had to whinge about me.”

Remus shifted back, on his hip, “Harriet, dear, don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Marlene guffawed, “Oh, you’re good.” She waved as she was led away.

Remus didn’t get a refractory period when the next actor swarmed in.

After six successful interviews Remus started to loosen up. He managed to land a few jokes based on the knowledge of the actors and their characters.

“Are you the interviewer that Marls said I had to meet?”

Remus turned around.

Sirius Orion Black.

He was wearing proper Victorian attire. A ruffled white blouse, a midnight blue paisley vest with gold embroidery, charcoal slacks and tailcoat. His hair was tied back with a gold ribbon. God. He looked delectable.

Remus’ brain sent pure dumb into his head and he fish-mouthed. “You cut quite a figure in that suit.”

“It’s an Ollivander custom,” Sirius grinned, eyes shining. Oh, his smile. “I see you’re dressed to star alongside me too!”

Remus cracked a smile. No one had commented on his commitment to the part yet. He was also similarly in Victorian garbs, but he decided to take a simpler route by thrifting and sewing them himself.

“It’s a Remus Lupin special,” he said. After a pause, he motioned to himself, and added, “I’m Remus Lupin.”

“You’ve got quite the talent in suit making, Lupin. Want to make one for me next time?” Sirius leaned in close. Remus could smell the decadent notes of vanilla and coffee in his perfume.

“I’m not all that talented,” Remus said modestly. “I might be better at taking a suit off than putting it on you.”

What the hell am I doing? On Broadcast! Oh, he’s so fired. Lily pinched his arm from behind.

But Sirius Black grinned widely, very obviously looking him up and down, “You certainly have the permission.”

Remus smirked. “Alright now, let’s keep it media-friendly. Tell us, Sirius, you’ve taken on the role of Sir Fitzwilliam Grey, who is notoriously difficult. What was being such a frustrating man like?”

“Frustrating,” Sirius laughed. “He definitely was written well, but boy, he got on my nerves a bit.”

Remus also smiled, agreeing, “It’s true, the book almost made me pull my hair out.”

“You can pull my hair instead,” Sirius winked.

Remus swallowed, before smiling brightly. “Ah, but I don’t put out until the fourth date at least.”

Sirius snorted, “I was talking about braiding my hair.”

“Mm, either ways, I am good with my hands.”

Sirius hid his face in his palms, shoulders shaking with laughter. Remus felt proud of himself for making this man laugh. God, he looked really beautiful.

“So,” he cleared his throat at Frank’s pointed gaze. “James Potter is your best friend and this isn’t your first production together. But you mentioned this project was very close to you, why so?”

“I grew up in a family like Grey’s, so I could understand why he behaved the way he did – I was much like him until I met James. So now I’m not welcome home anymore,” Sirius snickered lightly. This news was known to the public for a while, but it was still a sore subject.

“You’re welcome to my home anytime,” Remus winked, trying to make it lighter on the viewers.

This time, Sirius actually blushed. “I’ll make a note of that.”

“Your first film was also a period era movie, was it nostalgic going back to your roots, in a sense?”

“A little. I was too nervous to experience everything the first time, so this felt like redemption,” Sirius said. Then he broke into a jive, “Redemption is leaving the man you dreamed of~”

Jesus. Caradoc Dearborn through the mouth of Sirius. But Sirius had a really nice voice, rich and robust.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I keep singing that song, must be because I’ve been hearing it a lot on the radio.”

“Yeah, me too,” Remus said stiffly. Lily snorted into her palm.

“Oh?”

“Er, my ex… he was a huge fan of, um, Caradoc Dearborn,” Remus felt his eye twitch.

“Oh.”

“He’s my ex,” Remus shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“Oh yeah, absolutely. If he left you, then he was probably a right Fitzwilliam Grey, eh,” Sirius giggled. “Or like, Earl Grey. A bit basic.”

“You’re right.” He leaned in a bit, heart jumping when Sirius mirrored his action. “I much prefer it Black.”

Sirius’ ears were slowly getting red, probably like his own. “Everyone likes black tea, Remus.”

“We all have good taste,” Remus nodded importantly, willing himself to stand his ground.

His watch beeped, breaking the moment. “Oh, we’ve run out of time. Have you got any last remarks?”

“I hope you watch the movie,” he said to the camera. “And let me know how it is,” he turned to Remus.

“Well, it has been a pleasure to talk to you Mr Black,” Remus smiled his professional smile.

“You too, Remus,” Sirius said softly. “I will see you sometime.”

That sounded like a promise if he’d ever heard one.

Sirius strode away, but Remus noticed him peeking back at where he was stood.

“What on Earth was that Remus?” Lily squealed. “How can we possibly use this footage?!”

“We can, I think. It’s guaranteed views, Lils,” Frank interjected.

Remus blushed. “Sorry, I don’t know what got over me.”

“Thinking with the wrong organ, most likely,” Lily muttered, but she sounded too fond and too impressed to be mad.

“Most likely,” Remus echoed, once again on the receiving end of The Sirius Black smile.

His phone rang six times before he even considered picking it up.

“Hey,” he croaked. “I met the deadlines and uploaded it yesterday evening.”

Lily, who had been pestering him to get the interview out before the movie’s first day, didn’t utter a word.

“Lils?”

“Have you seen the comments?”

Oh, god.

Remus sat up in his bed, blankets falling in a pool around his naked torso. “Should I?”

“Yes.”

He pulled up the video, and immediately was stunned by the 2.3 million views on it. “Holy shit?”

“Read the comments, lad.”

laralare: um id tap his ass too sirius, get in line

beyzoz: not in front of my saladfsusjro?!

flour: am i jealous of sirius or remus lupin?

patricknorth: 6.57 im gay now

gillian: look at the eYES sirius makes when remus mentions his ex!!

hollyhollyday: the blatant flirting?! jail. my single ass is sobbing at 2am

freyja: i like lupin. we need him on more carpets.

doorathea: sirius looks so hot, id hit too. so yeah, remus was just being gay, not unprofessional.

Remus laughed incredulously at the number of comments in support of this tomfoolery.

“Now, Remus, I want you to breathe and go on Twitter.”

“Lily!”

Twitter was flooded with trends. About Him. And Sirius. Together.

#remusirius

#sirius black flirting

#remus lupin

Remus found many tweets – mostly laughing at the pair and dissecting the interaction. But it had felt so natural even to Remus so he had left it in, thinking it was amusing. Clearly everyone agreed.

The topmost tweet however.

SiriusBlack:

Last night was one of my favourite nights ever. I hope tonight you all can enjoy the movie too. Dress victorian, thrift and sew your outfits, have some fun!(a borrowed idea) when in rome, do as the romans do, (or is when in remus more apt? lol) enjoy!!

Remus screamed into his phone, blushing at the innuendo.

“His publicist loves you or hates you.”

“Let’s hope she’s obsessed with me, because.”

“Uh oh, Remus. Remus, what are you doing?”

“Nothing!”

RJLupin: im going to the movie w my best friend this weekend.

SiriusBlack: oh he’s in my dms now

RJLupin: too presumptuous?

SiriusBlack: the right amount i think.

text me here– xxx

“Remus…?”

“Might’ve scored a date with Fitzwilliam.”

“Remus! Caradoc could never!”

Remus laughed.

(a/n: based on a prompt i saw on pinterest lol. can you tell i can’t flirt for my life. or that i have no idea how red carpets work? i wrote this at arse o’ clock, so please excuse the lack of research and feasible scenarios that went into this. i hope it put a smile on your face at least.)

146 notes · View notes

oxydiane · 2 years

Text

‘Does it ever upset you?’

‘Mhhh?’ Ron shifts slightly, adjusting the arm curled around Harry’s waist. ‘What’re you talking about?’

‘That… This, that nobody knows about this.’ Harry whispers with a nod to their current position; he is laying against Ron’s chest, Ron’s lips pressed against his hair and leaving quick kisses every once in a while.

‘Why? It matters to you?’ Ron mumbles, clearly far sleepier than his boyfriend.

‘I dunno,’ Harry thinks of how the only reason they get to lay and cuddle like this is Sirius and Remus’ date night, thinks of how Sirius left him the home for the night and he used the chance to sneak in his boyfriend when Sirius had trusted him. ‘Should tell Padfoot, maybe?’

Ron seems to wake up at once. ‘Huh? No way! He’s going to kill me!’

‘He’s not going to kill you,’ a roll of eyes.

‘Duh! He already doesn’t like me because he knows of your embarrassing crush on me!’ Harry laughs and shoves him playfully. ‘You wanna add fuel to the fire so next time I show up he’s not even gonna let us in your room? This door-stays-open rule is bad already!’

‘He just wants to make sure —‘

‘I don’t deflower his Godson?’ Ron finishes for him and that does draw a shriek from Harry, immediately followed by a laugh.

‘You’re so stupid! And he knows we wouldn’t try that under his roof! I’m smarter than that.’

‘Debatable.’

‘Now you’re just being mean,’ Harry whines and presses his face against Ron’s neck. ‘I just… I don’t like keeping secrets from Sirius, you know that.’

‘I know! I just…’ Ron sighs. ‘Once we tell them, we need to tell my family, too, and once we do that, the teasing will start and this… This won’t be just ours anymore, would it? I know you want to tell them, Harry, I do too, but… Can this just be ours for a little while longer?’

Ron’s voice is so sweet against Harry’s hair and his hand runs gently against Harry’s back, he can’t help but smile against the crook of Ron’s neck; he is in love and it maybe does need to stay in-between them alone for a little longer.

‘Alright,’ he mutters, the warmth in his chest urging him to add— ‘I love you.’

From where he lies, he can feel Ron’s heartbeat speed-up just a little before the arms around his waist squeeze him closer and the lips against his hair move.

‘I love you, too.’ And it’s quiet after that, the muffled sound of the telly lulling them to sleep.

Later that night, the front door opens and a voice breaks the silence of the house.

‘I told you I could not learn all those constellations.’

‘You tried and we had a lovely pick-nic, that’s what matters.’

‘Yeah, would have been better if it didn’t start pouring—‘ Remus’ words come to a sudden halt when he takes in the two teenagers’ sleeping forms, cuddled up together on their living room couch.

‘What’s u— Oh,’ Sirius’ hand slips easily around his husband’s waist. ‘They think they are so slick.’

‘They ought to have realised we know by now, this is the… what? Fourth time? Fourth time we caught them?’

‘Seventh,’ Sirius says confidently, he’s been keeping a tally. ‘Honestly, Moony, I get this whole ‘let them come to us when they are ready’ thing but it’s getting ridiculous… I do enjoy our date nights to leave him the house to himself, though.’

‘Of course you do,’ Remus can’t help but smile, looking at Harry sleeping so peacefully. ‘The poor boy has, what, five siblings?’

‘Six, and two parents. Honestly, Moony, you are kind of awful with numbers lately.’

‘Yeah, whatever. Way too many, in my book. They deserve some privacy, God knows how little they could actually get at Molly Weasley’s house!’

‘Not too much privacy, though.’ Sirius points out and Remus can’t help but roll his eyes, taking his husband’s hand and tugging him towards their room.

‘Let’s go, let’s go, you remember tomorrow’s script—?’

‘Of course.’ Sirius deadpans. ‘Pretend we saw nothing, and that we were both way too drunk to remember anything, anyways.’

‘Good boy.’

Sirius gives the two boys one last glance before disappearing in the hallway. He is glad Harry can rest so well.

722 notes · View notes

moonstruckme · 5 months

Note

I would love something similar to the attending dr Remus story but maybe with ceo!sirius? All of his employees see him as a ruthless business man and are scared of him and maybe reader shows up to have lunch with him and she’s been crying or upset about something and Sirius just melts into a little puddle in front of everyone trying to comfort her 🥲🥲

Thanks for requesting!

ceo!Sirius x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

You swear, Sirius’ office has to be soundproofed. You hadn’t heard a thing on the way over, anticipating him to be quietly working at his desk, but when you go inside he’s standing behind it, all but shouting into the empty room.

“I’m looking at the numbers right here.” Sirius has his hands braced on the varnished wood, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and he jabs one finger into the stack of papers in front of him as if for emphasis. “Do you have any idea—”

At the sound of the door opening and your quiet oh, he looks up. The severity melts from his expression, replaced by a familiar smile. “Hi, sunshine.” His voice seems to have melted too, the bark you’d heard when you’d come in replaced by something soft and crooning. “Lunchtime already?”

“Sorry,” you say, hand inching back towards the door handle. “Len said I could come right in, I didn’t—”

“No, I told him to tell you that,” Sirius waves you forward, coming around his desk to kiss you hello. “I never want to keep you waiting, I…hey.” His brows furrow as he moves closer. “Hey, baby, is something wrong?”

You blink. “No.” It comes out sounding like a question.

Sirius palms your face. You lean into the touch instinctively, but then he thumbs at something on your cheek. “You’ve been crying,” he murmurs.

Shit. You’d forgotten to clean yourself up. Have you been walking around with mascara tracks down your face all day? No wonder Len had looked at you the way he had.

“Oh, that’s from earlier,” you say as breezily as you can. “I’m good now.”

But Sirius isn’t having it. He frowns, taking your face in both hands and inspecting you carefully. “What happened?”

You try to shrug, but it feels futile and pathetic when he’s looking at you like that. “I got yelled at by some guy on the way to work.”

“What?” he asks, dismayed. His hands slide down your shoulders to take your hands, guiding you to his seat. “Who yelled at you?”

“It was—I don’t know, just some guy.” Tears press at the base of your throat, but you refuse to let them loose. It was a silly thing to begin with, and you’ve cried enough about it. “I was driving, coming up to a light, and I—okay, I know I was in the wrong, because I wasn’t paying enough attention, and I stopped right in front of a parking lot.” You cast your eyes down, chewing your lip. Sirius crouches by the chair so he can see your face. Clever maneuvering, but you suppose he didn’t get to where he is by poor planning. “I should have left a space for them to turn while the rest of us waited at the light, you know? But I just wasn’t thinking, and then I couldn’t back up, because there were people behind me, and this guy—” You swallow. Sirius rubs your knee, the crease between his brows deepening. “This guy got out of his car and came up to my window and was, like, screaming at me about what an idiot I was.”

Sirius has got one hand on each of your knees by now, his perfectly pressed trousers wrinkling from his crouch. He looks up at you, indignation and upset warring in his eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, that’s awful. Fuck, I’d be crying too. Everyone messes up that stuff sometimes, who gave that prat the right to yell at you about it?”

You shrug again, biting your lip to keep it from wobbling. Sirius can tell, and he coos, rising enough to needle his arms under yours. “C’mere, baby.”

You accept the invitation eagerly, pressing your face into his collar and inhaling the faint musk of his cologne. He scrubs a firm hand back and forth between your shoulder blades. A few seconds of silence pass before the phone on his desk crackles to life.

“Uh, sir?”

You jolt away from him as if you’ve been caught, but Sirius doesn’t seem all that phased.

“Yeah, that’ll be all for now,” he says insouciantly. “We’ll have to pick this back up later this afternoon.”

“You’re on a call?” you accuse.

“S’just a conference call, sweet thing. Ran a bit long.”

A conference call?

“What time did you want to reconvene?” a different voice asks tentatively. You cover your face with your hands. They feel cool against the burning heat of your skin.

Sirius rubs your shoulder lightly. “Say, four? And John, take a closer look at those numbers. You could save us all a lot of time by seeing sense.”

“Yessir,” another voice—John, you assume—says. “And, erm, very sorry about your incident, miss. Sure the other bloke was just having an off day.”

“Thanks,” you squeak, but Sirius says over you, “Mind your goddamn business, John,” and hits a button to hang up the phone.

“Sirius,” you say miserably after making sure to check that the light on the phone is no longer on. “How could you not tell me you were on a call?”

“Excuse me, I had other priorities at the moment,” he argues, taking your wrists and prying your hands from your face. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. You’ve no reason to be embarrassed.”

“I complained about my road rage incident on your conference call!”

“It was a call full of accountants, love. You’ve probably just reminded them they’re alive.”

You give him a look. “I’m very cross with you.”

Sirius smiles. “Rats, if only there were a way for me to make it up to you.” He stands, grabbing a paper bag you hadn’t noticed from beside his desk. “Would my favorite girl’s favorite sandwich from her favorite sandwich shop be a good place to start?”

“That is a lot of favorites,” you allow, but the words don’t quite process until he pulls a wrapped sandwich out from the bag. You gasp, reaching for it. “Oh my god, how long did you have to wait in line for this?”

“I didn’t,” he says, somewhat sheepish. “Len waited over an hour, though.”

“You owe him a raise,” you say sternly, but accept the peace offering, peeling off the wrapping.

Sirius laughs when you bite into your sandwich and moan. “Damn, baby, you’ve never made sounds like that for me.”

“It’s a different kind of love,” you say through a mouthful.

“Enough to make your shit day a bit better?”

You slow in your chewing to give him a soft look. “More than enough. Thanks, Siri.”

“You’re welcome.” He gives you a saccharine smile, leaning forward for a kiss, but you dodge him.

“Wait, m’chewing!”

“And?” He takes your face in both hands, holding you captive as he pecks you firmly on the lips. “There. Waited way too long for that.”

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my-castles-crumbling · 8 months

Text

I Always Wanted a Brother

AU: Trans Regulus

Thinking about turning this into a full-length fic. Would love (constructive) opinions!

DISCLAIMER/TW: This discusses internal and general transphobia so the ideas expressed here are not always true/healthy/accurate. it is also from the POV of a child who is not well-versed on queer identities, so some things are purposely inaccurate.

The first time it had happened was when he was small.

He couldn’t remember the exact age, but it was small enough that he was still too short to reach the floor when he sat on the big chairs in the formal dining room. He was still too little to properly recognize the feelings that washed through him that day.

His mother had forced them into the stuffiest of clothing for a family dinner- their extended relatives were coming and Walburga expected only the best from her children. Having been raised on the most conservative Pureblood ideals, the Black heirs were expected to be pristine and perfect.

Sirius, grumbling and muttering, had been forced into a starched set of dress robes, complete with collar and ruffle.

Regulus wore a dress.

It was tight in the worst places, and flowy in others, and he felt as if he couldn’t properly breathe. Not because it was too tight, but because it was wrong.

His stomach lurched as he looked in the mirror.

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Sirius, I can’t wear this,” he whispered, just loud enough for his older brother to hear.

But Sirius didn’t seem to understand. “You think I’m any happier?” he groused, pulling at the ruffles on his cuffs.

And so Regulus sighed, and went through the day, feeling as if his skin was crawling as he went. Goosebumps erupted on the back of his neck every time he caught his reflection on any shiny surface. It was excruciating, even as a small child.

It was only later, as he crawled under Sirius’s covers and they whispered back and forth about cousin Bella’s awful haircut that he asked, “Sirius, why do you never have to wear dresses?”

And Sirius gave him a strange look. “I’m a boy, Reggie. Only girls wear dresses.”

Regulus contemplated that, curling close to his brother as they both drifted to sleep, and wondered if there was any sort of spell to turn him into a boy, too. Then, he wouldn’t have to wear dresses.

–

He was lumped in with the girls. Narcissa, Bellatrix, Andromeda. His name was spoken along with theirs, while Sirius’s was singled out. It was odd, he realized as he grew- why was he put with the girls? He didn’t feel like he belonged there. He’d asked his mother once, why this was so.

It was the first time he’d been hit.

He might have been hit more, except Sirius had accidentally broken some priceless heirloom, and suddenly he was the focus of Mother’s ire.

The bruise healed, but the confusion remained.

He tried not to stare enviously that year when Sirius would receive boy things for Christmas, like knives and collared shirts, while he, himself received makeup and bows for his hair.

He was expected to like dolls and pink and frills and lace.

He did not.

Sirius got to play with toy brooms and wear pants.

He did not.

Why?

He watched Sirius jealously when they both got haircuts and Sirius’s hair was always cropped smartly to his ears. His own hair was past his shoulders and it was wavy and feminine and horrid in a way that made his stomach feel as if it were trying to escape through his mouth.

He played a game with himself, sometimes.

At first he told nobody.

He would pretend to be a boy, in his head.

He would pretend to have short hair and pants and the toys and clothes that Sirius had.

But once, he slipped.

He mentioned it to mother.

That was the first time he was left in his room all day, with no meals.

He suspected it might have been longer, except Sirius was caught sneaking food to him. He didn’t see Sirius for three days after that.

Sirius understood.

Well, he didn’t understand, but he didn’t judge.

Days later, when Sirius snuck into his room, he confessed to Sirius about his game. Sirius looked at him for a long time before asking, “Do you want me to pretend, too? Do you want me to pretend you’re a boy?”

It was so simple, but it made him so happy.

After that, Sirius would sneak him his old clothes and they would stay up late having fashion shows. “They look better on you than me, Reggie!” Sirius would say with a grin.

He felt so sane in those moments. Like he wasn’t breaking some stupid rule he didn’t even understand.

It got worse, of course. As he got older, he realized that it wasn’t just dresses and toys and games in his head.

He resisted the urge to cry when he looked at himself in the mirror and saw the curve of hips beginning to form, all while Sirius walked around shirtless, showing off the smooth frame he craved.

It was his body. It was all wrong.

Was he crazy?

Mother had caught him wearing Sirius’s old pants and had hit him and called him words he had never heard before and had starved him for two days. Sirius had brought him food again. He’d been caught and hurt even worse.

But he still couldn’t fix it. He couldn’t fix himself. He couldn’t stop pretending he was a boy and wondering if, somehow, whatever magic made babies show up in mothers had been botched somehow with him. Was he a product of a ruined spell? The consequence of the inbreeding of his parents?

The worrying and wondering was terrifying. He felt crazy. But he only cried into Sirius’s shoulder, unable to voice his thoughts.

He was broken. He could never be fixed.

The day Sirius was due to leave for Hogwarts, he cried and cried because Sirius was the only one that treated him as normal. He had been his confidant, his safe haven, and he was leaving.

And Sirius found him, sobbing in his brother’s bed, and whispered, “I’m gonna come back, Reggie, don’t worry.”

And he murmured, “But nobody else…” Nobody else what? Nobody else loved him, despite his insanity and self-hatred?

It wasn’t normal. He had been telling himself that for the better part of three years, ever since he’d started his little game. Normal people didn’t reject their own bodies and want to…want to be…

It was disgusting.

So, he met his brother’s eyes and said, “I’ll just miss you, that’s all.”

—

The four months between the start of school and the holidays were the longest of his life. After the news of Sirius’s sorting into Gryffindor reached home Mother was nothing less than volent. He didn’t dare step a toe out of line. He felt as if he were slowly dying, rising every morning for the tutor Mother had hired, pulling on the dresses Mother set out daily, not even able to find lightness or humor in the sarcastic remarks Sirius used to make behind the tutor’s back. It was numbing.

Sirius wrote, but his letters were careful- they both knew their parents read the letters, so the letters were light and surface-level. They still tore at his heart, though, in the way they described Sirius’s happiness. Happiness without him.

But it was the day Sirius returned to their home, the day he pulled him into his room and under the covers, like they used to do when they were small, and described his friends, that his life changed forever.

He listened in bittersweet fascination as Sirius described James (“James Potter, he’s wonderful and so cool, Reggie, and his parents are so nice, they always send us things!”) and Peter and Remus (“He’s like…quiet, like you. But I reckon there’s something to him, and I’ll figure it out”). And he talked about Lily and Alice and Mary and Marlene. But Regulus wasn’t most interested in Sirius’s friends’ names, or even if they were nice. No, he almost physically jumped off of the bed when Sirius mentioned Gideon.

Gideon was a member of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, older than Sirius, and apparently, it’d taken Sirius about three minutes to mention, had caused quite a stir that Fall.

“Well, s’because I guess he used to be a girl? But now he’s not,” Sirius explained, looking a bit confused, himself. “I guess you can do that? James calls it trans.” Sirius nodded, as if confirming to himself that that was the correct term. “Like Transfiguration, I guess? Changing? But he just didn’t want to be a girl, so now, he’s not!”

He gaped. That was possible? He asked Sirius this question, trying to seem casual.

“Yeah, guess so! I mean, it’s kind of like the game you play, right? Except, real! And Gideon says he’s a lot happier now, so good for him, I guess? But some of the other kids have been right prats about it, seems like–” Sirius broke off, taking in his expression. “Reggie, are you okay?”

He was crying. “You can do that?” He repeated.

And then, Sirius seemed to realize. Because for a twelve-year-old, he was decently smart, and knew him better than anyone. “D’you…d’you want to do that, Reggie? I thought…I thought it was just a game?”

And he could only shake his head.

There was a stunned beat of silence. Then, Sirius grinned. “Well…I always wanted a brother.”

Hey guys! I used my own experience with dysphoria as well as a very helpful friend here on Tumblr to help make this as realistic as possible! Let me know your thoughts! I purposely only used he/him pronouns for Regulus and avoided using his deadname because the fic is from his POV and the point is he is a boy.

As a reminder, trans men are men, trans women are women. This is just child Regulus's POV, so he and Sirius aren't very educated on the subject.

#marauders #marauders era #harry potter #fanfic #regulus black kinnie #trans regulus #sirius is a good brother #sirius protecting regulus #regulus deserved better #regulus black #sirius and regulus #tw gender dysphoria #tw transphobia #tw walburga black

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luveline · 2 years

Note

omg please the same james and reader from ur two drunk reader blurbs but w drunk james and he's like "i dont wanna be your friend" cause. u know (unless you have a different idea for them or u think this defeats the purpose idk up to you i love you thanks)

thank you so much for your request, this was perfect! really perfect, it got away from me a little bit <3 the prequels (you don't have to read): 1 2 3

You watch James struggle through a tequila shot with a fond look on your face. Leaning against the cold brick wall of Sirius Black's house, you can smell the comforting wafts of woodsmoke as the outdoor burner putters away, the sticky sweet smell of foxglove that peeks over the tops of his ordinate brown fence, the whispers of James' cologne where it lingers on his jacket. You wrap it tighter around yourself to stave off the cold chill.

James sees this because he sees everything.

"Are you cold?" he calls.

You shake your head vehemently, lying but for a reason. If James knows you're cold, still, even after he's sacrificed his jacket for you, the too-kind boy will insist on going inside or taking you home. He's having a good time for once and you want that to continue. It's also the reason why you refuse the tequila offered to you. You don't want him to have to babysit you, and you've not quite learned moderation yet: you're trying. It's hard. Easier with James.

He gives you a perfect smile, lips stretching over teeth and nose twitching. You're close to the fire, its heart warming your legs. James sits in a garden chair at a table of his friends. It's a tame party with an obvious VIP section that you feel lucky to be included in, though you know it's just because James is sweet on you, not because his friends really like you that much.

Well, maybe they do. This is one of the only times you've been sober enough to tell. Or care.

James seems to be drinking for the both of you as he loses yet another hand of cards. Sirius had proposed the - quite frankly dangerous knowing James' awful poker face - rule of taking a shot each time you lose. James has thrown back one, two, five, you can't remember how many shots. There's a distinct brightness to his eyes. His card skills are deteriorating quickly.

You're in no position to tell him to slow down, so you don't, but his pale friend Remus has your back.

"Mate, stop. Sirius, don't make him have another."

Sirius shrugs. "I's the rules."

"James," Remus starts, then sighs as your dark-haired friend takes another shot. "Alright, you're banned. Go bother your girlfriend."

You blush because you know he means you. James grins wide but then seems to realise he's being kicked out of the game.

"Fuck off, I'm gonna win this one."

A fresh hand is dealt and Remus peaks at James' inquisitively. "No," Remus says, patting James on the shoulder. "You're not." Then, when he makes no move to get up. "Y/N just said she was cold."

James looks to you, betrayed. You look to Remus, betrayed. Remus looks at neither of you, and instead stubs his cigarette out in the ashtray smouldering away in the middle of the circle glass table to take a big swig of beer. He seems smug.

"Smarmy bustard," you mumble to yourself with no real heat, traitorous face quickly transforming as James rounds the table. He's tall, looking down at you all soft-eyes and scolding. "Hi, Jamie."

"You're cold?" he asks.

You sigh, knowing that sooner rather than later, James' bloodstream is going to absorb the exorbitant amount of tequila he has drank, and then you are going to be in a lot of trouble. "Yeah. A bit. Aren't you?" you ask, and your question is sincere, looking over the bulk of his arms curiously and then with too much heat. You feel awful for thinking it, but he has very, very nice arms. He looks like he could pick you up. He looks like he could set you down.

You're knocked from your unholy reverie by his hands, big and hot and kind as they rub up and down your arms. The friction is warming. The proximity is worse, a heat like hell in your chest. He's not looking at you as he says, "I'm warm-blooded."

So am I? You think to yourself.

He smirks as his eyes travel back to your face, though it's quickly gone, turns soft once again. He smiles at you slowly.

"You look very pretty tonight. Have I told you?"

"You might have mentioned it," you murmur bashfully. He'd said it with little fanfare as you got in the car, so earnest it had felt inarguable, "You look stunning."

"Shall I tell you again?"

You put his obvious flirting down to drunkeness and push up off of the wall, hoping for a little bit of space between you so you can regain your balance and wits.

"D'you want to go inside? See if they're playing any good music?" you ask, though they're probably playing the same records they always play here.

James nods like you know he will and you smile your thanks, weaving through potted plants and over cracked paving stones into the house. The patio doors lead into the kitchen, which is busy with Mary and the other girls trying to cook four frozen pizzas on two pizza trays, and a bunch of people you don't know at the table talking rapidly about something you don't follow. James seems more interested and you selfishly grab for his hand to pull him with you into the living room.

He doesn't argue. "Is it me or is the floor soft?" he asks, words bundled together sloppily, fingers tight to the point of aching in your hand. He almost trips over the threshold.

You flex your finger until he eases his grip, looking for somewhere for him to down. There, in the corner of the room, a desk chair. It spins, unfortunately, but James seems to like it.

"There," you say, patting his shoulder with your free hand. He has adamantly refused to let go of the other.

They're playing a Stevie Wonder song. James doesn't know the words so he hums, and you try to think of conversation. Much more difficult when you're not inebriated.

"How're you feeling?" you ask him, leaning down.

He slouches in the chair. "Great!" he says too loudly. "You're not drinking?"

"I'm trying to be less of a burden on you," you tell him, lips barely moving as you confess. You're embarrassed. James seems to take a moment to ingest this. During his silence you fix his hair tentatively, tucking ink black curls behind his ears, marvelling at their almost elfin point. You readjust his glasses as you go, pushing them up his nose carefully.

"There," you say, allowing yourself a quick squeeze of his cheek, a rapid dip into his honeypot eyes. "Good as new."

"You're not a burden on me," James says. You laugh, wondering if this conversation will be two steps back the entire time.

"Thanks, James. But I knew you'd say that."

He frowns, shifting in the chair, chin jutting up almost testily. It's attractive, to say the least, and you're busy soaking up the details of his jaw when he says, "How could you know?"

You're close enough to smell the tang of alcohol on his breath.

"Because you're a good friend," you tell him. You go to straighten your back, stand tall again to join the party. James pulls you back in, hand wrapped into the fabric of his jacket.

"A good friend," he repeats, licking his lips as he looks at yours. You feel a wave of heat wash over you. "Is that all I am?"

You feel terrible, then. "No! Jamie, you're amazing. At everything, I value you for much more than your friendship."

If he were sober you think he might have poked fun at your sappy confession or your nervous disposition. Tipsy James has much less humour.

"What I mean, is: I don't want to be your friend, sweetheart."

Your heart skips. For a split second you think, fuck, fuck, I've fucked it up and he hates me and then something in your brain clicks. Resounding, reverberating, a wave of chills follow. Your arm hairs stand on end.

James is still looking at you seriously, dark, beautiful and somehow formidable.

"James…" you look down at his lap where your joined hands rest. "You're drunk."

"You don't believe me?"

You kind of don't. All his physical signs, his heat, his magnetism and charm, they all might lead you to believe he liked you. The way he's looking at you now might have proven it alone. But he really is intoxicated, and you're not the catch he thinks you are.

"I can't believe you," you say.

"Because I'm drunk."

"Because you're drunk. Because I'm not."

He runs the fabric of his borrowed jacket between his fingers, seemingly eating up the sight of your neck. "I don't follow," he says quietly.

"I'd have to be drunk to believe it. Because it's – ridiculous. Because it doesn't make any sense. I'm sloppy, and stupid, and irresponsible and selfish. You could have any girl you want," you whisper the last sentence pleadingly, hand placating on his shoulder. You feel the corded muscle beneath shift as he sits up.

"I want you," he says, and tries to kiss you.

You hold him away from you. "James, stop."

That one word makes him back off, looking lighter, expression abated by confusion.

"You don't want me?" he asks.

You bite your lip and turn your face to the side, as if searching for something to save you, a friend, a distraction. This side of the room is abandoned, everybody crowds the record player.

You can't think. You don't know what to do.

"James," you say, always his name, always like you were meant to say it. "You don't know what you're saying. What you're doing. And even if I believed that you did, I just saw you drink half a bottle of tequila. It doesn't matter what I want."

His pupils wobble as his eyes move from one side of your face to the other. He seems to deflate, sighing loud, hand falling from your jacket. You're relieved as you stand, taking back a little bit of space. He's still holding your hand.

He lifts them up. "This is okay, though?"

"Yeah. This is okay."

"Sit down?" he asks, rolling the chair back so you can sit on the desk.

You sit. He pinches your fingers, and after a while you feel his soft head of curls rest on your thigh.

"What are you doing?" you ask, hand impulsively coming to card through them.

"Trying to sleep it off," he says into your skin. “S’I can tell you again.”

Your heart stutters. You sort your fingers through his hair for a long time, thighs going numb. He talks to you in fits and starts that you strain to hear until he falls asleep. You keep stroking his hair. You don't know what else to do.

"Oh, sweetheart," you murmur to yourself, taking the glasses from his face carefully. He smiles in his sleep like he's heard you. He has a nice smile.

#james potter fic #james potter #marauders era #marauders #james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter fluff #james potter blurb #james potter drabble

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chdarling · 6 days

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I've been meaning to write this to you since the first time I found your fic almost two years ago but nothing could come up to me that could put into words what a wonderful creator you are.

But the thing is, I found it when I was going through an awful time mentally, and nothing would satisfy me. Life, working, eating... whatever you can think of. It was an amazing read and the characters, their relationships, the plot. Everything was insanely wonderful and I just kept reading but I couldn't conjure the words to say to you, because in my head, writers like you deserve more than the usual “love this story, you are amazing” (not that it's bad to remind you this), until now when I started to feel again like the time I found it and I realised that, even when yourself was dealing with a lot, you had updated a new chapter and damn, what a chapter. I will talk about it obviously but I just want you to know how amazing, talented, wonderful you are. Thanks for this story, for the love to it because it's obvious how much heart you put into every single detail. Thanks, thanks, thanks. For allowing us to read it, to fall in love with your characters, for letting us meet them. Seriously you deserve everything good coming into your life and I hope you are doing good and go to your own peace, we will always wait for you.

About the chapter: I don't know if I'm seeing things but slowly it's showing why Sirius could suggest Peter to be the secret keeper, with all the things he has been doing that have worked wonderfully for them. Damn, it will hurt a lot to read the betrayal. Love to see Marlene with the marauders and Lily, what a wonderful group they make and now with James back, I'm dying to see more of all of them together, because going from what Marlene used to be to her now it was amazing, I know she's going to kill it (lol) in the OotP.

Even if they couldn't raise Harry properly, I'm so glad we can see parts of his parents on him. What wonderful human beings they are, I'm so proud of the people they grow up into and that's why everyone loved them so much. Impossible to not do so.

I felt so bad for Graham, truly and I'm afraid of what will happen to him, because at this point he has nothing to lose and I can't blame him. The system is against people like him and he can't just go away because it's his world too. He's not supposed to fight for his place but if they want him to do it, then they should suffer for it.

Your Snape makes me want to punch a wall and throw you a party. One of the best Snape's out there. The way he talks about Lily, to her, the way he just couldn't keep denying it was him because she told him he drugged her and that would mean he hurt her and that was not good at all. My skin itched so bad when he called her hysterical, when he told her she should be grateful. I loathe him so bad, he truly deserves the agony he lived with.

That's all, I think. I'll try to write to you more, both on ao3 and here. Once again, you are amazing and I'm so thankful you let us in this wonderful story.

Oh, this made me a wee bit emotional on the train. 🥺 (in a nice way!) Thank you so much for these kind words and for taking the time to send such a lovely note. I hope that things are getting better for you. Life can be real rough sometimes. Thank goodness we have fictional characters to play with 😅❤️❤️❤️❤️

Much love ❤️

#ch answers #tle2 #tle2 spoilers

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resident-gay-bitch · 2 months

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Remus

Best places to kiss on their body

Guilty pleasures

What gets them flustered

Ingrained habits/forces of habit

People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

Turning points in their life

Oh hello there again :)))

I love the difference in answers between your two asks because I got all dark and broody about sirius and then I’m just like remu 😋

His. Scars. He’s very insecure about them obviously and so when he gets kissed on his scars he automatically falls in love and is absolutely DONE FOR. it makes him cry too, he just feels so loved, for ALL of him.

A cheeky guilty pleasure for him is a big block of chocolate, a good cup of piping hot tea, and a smutty romance book. He’ll curl up in the winter and read that shit so fast and won’t tell a SOUL what he’s reading about… maybe Lily, because Lily would absolutely join him and they’d both giggle about it together. But one that’s not so good, that he feels a little more guilty about, is smoking. Lily and Mary constantly tell him how gross it is and how bad for him it is and how it’s gonna make him sick but he just can’t help it. It calms him. Temporarily.

Remus is SO easy to fluster, he’s just an absolute loser so any attention he gets is well received. Of course the scar kissing makes another appearance here, because obviously he’d get flustered about his scars being dubbed beautiful and kissable. But just any kind of flirting or sexual insinuation. And also, sirius blacks infamous grin. Right from age 11, it always gets him red in the cheeks and giggling, tripping over his own feet and stuttering.

Cigarettes can make another appearance for forces of habit. Another not so good one is doing things he knows he shouldn’t. He’s very good at not listening to people when they tell him no and also ignoring his own conscience. Sometimes he just wants something so bad he’ll go through shitty things to get to it, even if it makes him feel terrible throughout and after.

Given they were in the midst of a war, I think he would have killed a few people. I think he feels moderately bad about it. Because obviously it’s a human life, and also what if they had lovers and families and children, but at the same time they’re death eaters and terrible people. James would get terrible guilt about killing and only do it when absolutely necessary, and it would eat him alive, so when Remus sees James reacting like that he begins to feel awful for not feeling the same way, and that’s what really gets to him. He thinks he’s the awful monster he’s fought so hard not to be. But casually he’ll hurt people sometimes, he might bonk Lily on the head when getting a book from the high shelf, or he might be roughhousing with James and slam a bony elbow into his ribs, or he might be drunk and dancing with Sirius and trip and send them both crashing into a table. No matter what, if it’s a friend or just a regular person that he hurts, he feels awful about it. If they cry he gets so distressed, if they’re bruised he’ll feel like a monster for putting it there, if they need a trip to the hospital wing (even for a tiny bandaid) he’ll help them get there and stress over them until madame pomfy bonks him on the head with her wand and tells him it was an accident and they’re fine. He really struggles with that because of his lycanthropy.

There are obviously a few big turning points, like when he was bit as a kid, when he started at Hogwarts, through the prank, fighting in the war, Halloween of 81 and blah blah blah. They all had very big impacts on him, obviously. But one that I like to think about is Remus second Christmas after starting school. Right before the break, him and all his friends (the marauders and the girls) awkwardly got together and exchanged Christmas cards. Remus was nervous about his own because of his terrible hand writing, and he packed a chocolate frog in each of them because it was all he could really afford. He watched some of his friends give out gifts (like James to everyone, and the girls all to eachother). But it was when Lily and sirius both gave remus neatly wrapped gifts, both of them coincidentally a little stack of books hed been wanting to read, and chocolate, did he feel seen. Like they actually valued him as a person and listened to his wants. Luckily they both bought him different books, but lilys gift also came with a stamp with his name on it so he could mark his books as his own, and sirius’ came with a hand made bookmark he’d painted himself. Them, along with James gift of a new cosy sweater, and Peter’s gift of sweets and some gobstones, did remus feel like he really had a place here with his friends and that there was something to value in his person. And then also when the marauders became anamagi Remus silently cried himself to sleep that night because even when they knew the worst parts of him they still loved him and wanted to make him happy. He was destroyed for the better.

Anywhoooooo, I really like insecure remus who is just so baffled to have found kind people who actually enjoy his company and make him feel like more than enough and more than the wolf.

Thank you again for the ask!!!! Have a wonderful day / night / morning / whatever it is you’re doing!! <33

#jay answers #remus lupin #he’s so special #just my special little guy #marauders #ask game #remus john lupin #RJL #the marauders #dead gay wizards #James potter #sirius black #peter pettigrew #lily evans

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