#life will get better

[soulinkpoetry]

Reinvent yourself, no matter how many times you get burned. It’s called tenacity.

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#rising from the ashes #tenacity #don’t give up #keep going #life will get better #hope #soulinkpoetry #poetry #she writes #thoughts #feelings #poets on tumblr #that’s life

[mihai-florescu]

Love is in the air? Wrong. Cheese

#life will get better

[teklarain]

sometimes all it takes is the wind blowing through my body and then i remember i am still alive and my life is not over yet.

you have time.

#things will get better #life will get better #i have to repeat that over and over again

[alixismix]

#dan vs #messed up world #not giving up #hope #Christian #non gender conforming #female #tomboy #bisexual #depressed #meme #life will get better #:( #gender non conforming #gnc #gnc woman

[malinastharlock]

The gods abandoned us long ago. It's up to us to try and make the world a better place and stop making life so fucking hard on each other.

#the gods are gone #we're left behind #but not alone #life will get better #insperatinal #insperation #happy thoughts

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is #what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid #he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family #and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points #and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better #pflag #parents doing their best #parenting win #good news #allyship

[softhe4rted]

first read on @exitmusicfrafilm’s post about 2023

#so i made this last night :’) #it has stayed with since i first read it….. and it’ll never leave #the wound is not the size of my life #it gets better i know it i know it #reminder !! #hi my post #poetry #digital illustration

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[spookberry]

Idiot to Idiot communication

#there's a part 2 to this in my brain but idk if I'll draw it and this can stand alone fine too #danny phantom #my art #van life au #agit technically #i like when older danny grows his hair out but i could kinda see him avoiding it as a way of avoiding that evil alt future #like hes uncomfortable with how it likens back to it #but maybe having van around and seeing that alt future version try to be a better person in their 2nd chance could #ya know relieve any of that anxiety #so i wanted to illustrate them having a conversation about it #but i got stuck on thia funny beginning part #who knows if I'll get around to the serious part

[zookie-art]

Shadows and light ~

#malevolent #malevolent fanart #arthur lester #king in yellow #john doe malevolent #malevolent podcast #one of these days i'll sit down and do a proper polished piece for this but that is not today #can't believe i get to use my professional skills in painting cthulhu themed horror to paint art for a podcast this is my life now #why do you even work to become better at art if not to draw fanart of things you like honestly

[beybuniki]

love language

#i dont feel like doing the rest and i think these 3 look great together so :) #i think normal healthy toya aus are boring as hell but what if 16yo came back and killed endeavor and he was still traumatized and weird #but at home :) everyone's weird older brother who gradually gets better aoughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #anyway #bnha #mha #todoroki toya #dabi #todoroki fuyumi #todoroki natsuo #todoroki shoto #takami keigo #hawks #<- inserting him everywhere like my life depends on it

[free-my-mindd]

#life #quotes #it gets better

[striving-artist]

Tumblr skews young, so let me just share this.

The worst thing you can do in a job is not be bad at something. It's to say you are great at something while being bad at something. If you need to improve and you're upfront that you're not the best, people will probably help or teach or explain. They will sympathize when you get put on a task you're not qualified for.

If you claim to be awesome at something when you demonstrably suck at it, all of that good will and sympathy is gone and it will not come back.

Confident is good. Stand up for yourself, know your skills.

But the other side of this is to Know your Faults.

This message brought to you by the 23yo who bragged about how he was great at X and had the best program for it, and I spent the weekend doing his job for him because he is so so bad at it, and only about 5% of what he did is salvageable.

#real life #can't overstate this #you're in better shape if you say you're not certain #if you go 'hey can you walk me through exactly what you want' #even if its just you saying 'I have never done this HERE can you help me be sure I'm doing it the way you want?' #confidence will get you the job #but if you lied? #its going to be years before we trust you again #and yes I work in a teeny tiny industry #so we will gossip and ruin your chances for a longgggg time #but even in larger fields #office jobs love to gossip

[ruushes]

artisanal hand-crafted durge memes

#nox #shadowheart #karlach #gale dekarios #bg3 #my ocs #my art #anyway. screaming crying throwing up trying to find a drawing process that doesn’t take one million years continues #actually pretty successfully this time! these were all fairly low effort #they only took one million years bc i can’t focus on one thing at a time to save my life #oh and #blood #gore #trying to get better abt tagging that

[whollyjoly]

i want the whole SEASON of bucktommy

i want buck being wooed - flowers and being taken out and a little protective hand on the small of his back

i want to hear all the soft ways tommy can say evan and the look on buck's face when he does

i want to see them at tommy's karaoke trivia place because holy shit buck would love it (and didnt oliver say that we're getting buck singing this season cause uhhhhh)

i love that this is such a fling, such a happy thing for buck - he is finally feeling that puzzle piece click into place and it is freeing

and i cant wait to see all the small ways we see that play out!!!

let buck be happy challenge 2k24!!!!

#i'll never shut up about this i fear #i am just SO happy to see a happy bi!buck exploring what his feelings mean!! #just getting to be!! and grow!! and flirt and have FUN!!! #god that euphoria when you realize that its okay that you dont have to choose you can just *be* #its so fucking real and i cant believe i get to see it through the eyes of my favorite character #is this?? real life?? #fuck me up man #otp: better ways to get your attention #bucktommy #kinkley #tuck #? #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 spoilers #911 abc #911 on abc #im just so fucking shook i cant believe it #its REAL #em speaks #mine