#just so you know I'm never finishing either of these

[enwoso]

Hi, I love your writing! I was wondering if you could write a fic where Rooney and Russo are recording there new podcast and they mention a funny story to do with you. With Alessia x reader pairing. You can make the story up but I thought it would be funny

THIRD WHEEL — alessia russo

sorry to whoever requested this as it’s took me so long to actually finish it, but it’s finally here!

navigation

"hello! and welcome back to the tooney and russo show with me y/n l/n, and before you all ask don't worry i'm not stealing vic's job she's just poorly" you said down the microphone, getting yourself comfy in the big chair opposite the couch that alessia and ella were sat on.

"thank god we only have to put up with you for one episode!" ella says rolling her eyes playfully as you gasp, the two bursting into laughter.

"hey!"

"anyways i'm here with two of football most famous friends, alessia russo and ella toone!" you cheered as the two opposite you clapped as well as the people behind the cameras.

"are we the most famous friends?" ella turns asking alessia who shrugs, you clearing your throat to get the brunettes attention back.

"they've just written that on the script to boost your ego" you smile quickly before looking back down to the ipad as the ella starts laughing as does less.

“i’m not lying it’s on here!” you hold the ipad up in there direction showing them, “you really know how to make someone feel good about themselves don’t you, y/n!” ella jokes as you nod you head.

“it’s my speciality — ask lessi i do it on the daily for her!” you say winking jokingly towards less who shakes her head at your silliness.

“whatever helps you sleep at night love” alessia sighs, not wanting to disagree with you knowing the ramble you would go into.

"anyways before we get sidetracked anymore, the fans want to know a bit more about your routine when playing, asking if you find it hard to sleep before a big game?" you read out the question that was on the ipad in front of you.

"speaking on behalf of all three of us here, but we all sleep like babies!" ella says as you and alessia nod in agreement humming.

"yeah what's the saying, can sleep on a camels back" alessia blurts out making you make a confused face, as you mouthed a what to ella who shook her head also having no idea what the blonde had just said.

"that's not a saying babe, you've just made that up!"

"i have not, search it up!” the blonde defended her self as you still looked at her with a confused face trying to understand what she meant from her try at an inspirational message.

“um yeah moving on.. i sleep good all the time to be fair. but do either of you remember the night before the euro final?” you asked them both, ella nodding while less say shaking her head.

“oh yeah, i remember that night. do you not?” ella agreeing with you as she directed the last part of her sentence the blonde sat next to her, who shook her head while mumbling a no into the mic in front of her.

“so obviously we was staying in this really nice hotel, the tottenham hot spur hotel it was i think, and everyone was asleep and um in the night the automatic blinds kept coming up” ella explained as you nodded along.

“i never even noticed to be honest, but i remember you complaining about it in the morning” alessia pointed over to you.

“yeah and i only noticed them because you’d took all the blankets from me and i’d woke up freezing, and then-“ you began as the blonde across you cut you off with a gasp as her mouth went wide open.

“you say this all the time, but i don’t hog the covers!” the blonde said in a defensive tone, ella watching with a smirk on her face at the bickering between the two of you an occasional giggle coming from her.

“how would you know if you do or don’t? your asleep less?” ella commented as you hummed your eyes going wide, “exactly!”

“and then the stupid blinds kept me awake and then less had her alarm set for dead early and she didn’t even wake up — honestly worst night sleep i’ve ever had.” you grumbled carrying on with your small story as alessia mumbled into her mic about you being overly dramatic.

“oh i hate alarms me, i’m the type who had to wake straight up as soon as it goes off” ella says as you hum, “cause once you start snoozing, it’s game over”

“lessi is the worst for snoozing”

the podcast carry’s one as you talk along with the two girls, about random things that start a different conversation until you get up to the fan questions section of the pod.

“so we are up to when you guys at home get to know ella and lessi more off the pitch as they answer your questions where nothing is off limits, i’m excited for this bit” you smile down the camera before smirking to the two girls as they look at each other scared. you continuing to scroll through the ipad.

“first one is weirdest thing your both scared of?” you say giggling to yourself knowing what both of their answers are going to be.

“probably bananas” ella says pulling a face of disgust as you ask why. “i dunno, i just really don’t like them.

“um turkeys or just birds in general” alessia shrugs as your mind takes you back to the world cup of when there was loads of them there.

“there definitely both weird, the next one is directly for you lessi — this fan has said: alessia your half italian but can you actually speak it” you say reading the comment word for word off the ipad, looking up to see the blondes blank face as you begin to laugh along with ella.

“well i can understand it, i tried to learn how to speak it and i can speak a few words..” less trails off her words getting quieter and quieter with each one she spoke.

you raised your eyebrows humming in amusement, “yep and by tried you mean one duolingo lesson?”

“pretty hard to try and learn it when you have someone distracting you every five seconds wanting attention!” alessia argued, taking a sip of her water which was next to her.

“sorry for showing and giving my girlfriend some love?” you scoffed jokingly as you placed your hands in the air in defence. “next time i won’t bother” you added sassily.

the blonde pouting, mumbling along the lines of that you know that she loves giving you her attention you humming at her response, the blonde holding her hands up in an attempt at a heart with her fingers getting a small smile from you.

as ella dry retched down the mic, “do you have to do the lovey dovey stuff every where we go!”

“okay this is a good one, who’s the better driver” you ask, putting the ipad to the other side.

“well i think we can both agree who it’s not-“ alessia smirked pointed between her and ella who nodded in agreement knowing what the blonde was going to say.

“who?”

“you- do you not…” alessia began before you cut her off, “hang on the question wasn’t to include me, and i know the story your gonna tell and it’s gonna be completely wrong but carry on” you sulked, sinking further in the chair you were sat in opposite the two best friends.

“no so you were in a really tight parking spot, which can i add i told you not to park in-“ alessia began to tell the story in between laughs as tooney listened intently, you sat across from them with a frown on your face.

“—and there was this bollard to the right of the car and i told you that you were gonna hit it if you carried on but you were adamant you weren’t gonna hit it. and of course who was right cause then the back of your car ended up with a massive dent in the back along with scratches along the side”

“yeah but in my defense right, since i did move slightly the way you told me to and if i hadn’t i definitely would have missed it” you defended yourself as alessia rose her eyebrows not totally convinced.

“is this the day you came to england camp sulking?” ella asked as alessia nodded her head slowly in response for you, you not wanting to admit it.

“and now i’m banned from driving lessi’s car-“ your frown deepened.

“i mean i’m not surprised!”

“and that’s all we have time for today, before i get outed anymore!” you perked up once again, the two girls straightening themselves up as you looked down the central camera.

“like you haven’t been outing us for the whole ep love” alessia commented as you waved your hand at what she said.

“thanks for joining me, less and tooney as i third wheeled-“ you began again but got cut off by ella. “no i was, as always!”

“bye!”

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo x y/n #woso community #woso #woso blurbs #woso imagine #woso x reader #arsenal women #awfc #arsenal wfc #awfc imagine #awfc x reader #lionesses #ella toone #england wnt #england women #enwoso

[pnsteblnme]

final(s) week ✿ a.r.

pairing: alessia russo x fem!reader

summary: even though you're insufferable, your girlfriend helps you get through finals week (this one is for everyone who’s getting their asses kicked by their exams cause like same <3 but i’m crossing my fingers for you!!)

warnings: school, swearing, stress?, a bit angsty maybe, very self-indulgent :)

word count: 2.5k

a/n: first of all, i'm very sorry for disappearing from writing for like almost a year 🥹 i had my finals and barely had time to eat, let alone write but i only have one more to go so i hope i’ll get to write more in the future! i also have a few requests in my inbox that i’ll try to work on (sorry that you guys have to wait this long) and lastly, i don’t know anything about studying architecture so idk if the things happening here are even remotely close to the truth 😜

“Fuck!”

A few sets of eyes turned at your exclamation as you bent down to pick up the things you’d knocked over during your side squats. 

Across the room, Alessia watched with a sympathetic look as you shook your head and grumbled in annoyance. She knew that you’d been stressed out because of your upcoming finals and was almost used to seeing you in a bad mood. 

Of course, she understood that majoring in Architecture while pursuing a career as a professional athlete was challenging. What she hadn’t expected was for you to almost crumble in on yourself. 

The closer the deadlines came, the less you smiled. When the team had bonding night, you stayed home and worked on your project. When Alessia came home from said nights (she only went because you insisted she go), you were still working and would continue to until you were on the brink of falling asleep. 

The agitated frown on your face became a constant. With the end of training, you’d hurry home and dash into your study, only coming out to have a rushed dinner with your girlfriend. 

The bags under your eyes turned shades the night sky was jealous of. Every time Alessia tried to coax you into doing something to take your mind off of things, you insisted that you couldn’t waste time that was better spent on your project. 

So, most nights the blonde lay in your shared bed, worried frown etched onto her face as she prayed that you wouldn’t overwork yourself. Reaching out her fingers, she felt like there was more than distance between you.

Sure, she could feel you twisting and turning on the other side of the bed but you weren’t there, at least not really. Your mind has been all over the place, constantly jumping from task to task, and you two hadn’t had a real conversation in weeks. 

A nudge on Alessia’s arm broke her out of her thoughts as Leah raised an eyebrow, “What’s got her knickers in a twist?” 

Letting out a concerned sigh, the striker opened her mouth to answer, eyes still focused on you across the room, when an Irish accent filled the air. 

“Yeah, Less, ye not treating the missus right?” Katie teased as she ruffled Alessia’s hair, who rolled her eyes and shrugged the smaller woman off. 

Finally tearing her gaze away from you, the blonde turned towards the two, “I’m really worried about her,” she breathed out, fiddling with her fingers. 

Leah smacked the back of Katie’s head when she noticed that this was troubling Alessia. “What’s going on?” the blonde questioned in a softer voice.

Sighing Alessia’s eyes travelled back towards you, “It’s finals week in her uni and she’s been working like a dog, day and night, spending every last minute either here or trying to finish her projects. She refuses to believe it but it’s been taking a huge toll on her and I just don’t know how to help.”

Leah and Katie shared a look as they watched the striker’s shoulders drop. They had noticed you gradually pulling away from the team, never joining them on nights out with the excuse of having to do things for school. Initially, everyone believed that you just didn’t fancy the idea of socialising, knowing that you were a rather introverted person. 

“I don’t think there’s much you can do except be there for her and make sure that she takes care of herself. Or take care of her yourself when she doesn’t,” the blonde advised as she placed a gentle hand on Alessia’s shoulder. 

Katie nodded, “Yeah, maybe you can distract her a bit.” She nudged your girlfriend’s side with a wink, adding in a whisper, “If ya know what I mean.”

Alessia rolled her eyes, threw her head back with a groan and stormed off, not before calling out a ‘You’re unbelievable!’ at the two women who were left cackling. 

At the end of the day, everyone found themselves in the changing room, packing their things and getting ready to go home, before meeting at Beth and Viv’s for game night. So, even though all of the girls were exhausted, elated chatter bounced off the walls as the anticipation of an evening full of competitiveness grew. 

You had just finished showering and started throwing your things into your bag when a body collided with your back, arms being wrapped around your neck and legs trapping your waist. Your breath got caught in your throat before you realised that only one person would do this.

“Kyra!” you exclaimed in an agitated tone as your eyebrows furrowed and you tried to pry her off of you. 

The mischievous laughter in your ear only irritated you further, proving to be an obstacle in your plans to get home as soon as possible to be able to work on your projects. “You wanna be partners later? We’ll destroy everyone,” the Australian grinned as she rocked back and forth. 

“I’m not coming,” you huffed out as you still struggled to get her off your back, “Now get off, Kyra!” You loved that girl from the bottom of your heart but your bad mood was starting to worsen with every second that passed and you had to do everything in your power not to snap at her. 

“What?” she asked, slowly sliding down to stand on the ground and turning to face you, “But we’re the Beyond Lunacy Buddies!” the brunette said, holding your shoulders and shaking your body. “And you already missed the last one,” pouted Kyra.

Your knuckles turned white with the way you were clenching your hands, “Not everyone can sit on their ass and play games the whole day,” you scoffed, ripping yourself out of her grip and zipping your bag. You knew it was wrong of you to lash out at her like that but at that moment everything you could think about was how this interaction was wasting time you didn’t have. 

The strict schedule you’d designed barely left you room to breathe and you were determined to follow it down to a T so that you’d get good grades. You didn’t even know why you were so desperate to excel in every task you got, still having your career as a footballer if you didn’t graduate with flying colours. Maybe it was for the slim chance that your parents finally said they were proud of you. Maybe it was to prove your classmates wrong, although they always had something to say, no matter what you did. Maybe it was to prove to yourself that you weren’t a failure. The reason didn’t matter in the end because you were intent on finishing the things you started. 

“Geez, don't be such a gloomy Gus,” Kyra’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts as you quickly grabbed your things and hurried to your car before you had time to regret your words. 

Worried eyes followed your disappearing form as everyone wondered what happened to your usually kind and bubbly self. 

Slamming the door shut and dropping your bags next to the shoe rack, you grabbed your headphones from the kitchen counter and made your way into your study, closing the door behind you. You turned on noise cancellation and clicked play on your favourite playlist as you began ruffling through all the sheets spread across the desk. 

The ideas for the model house and the concept of the mall had been ready a long time ago but the realisation of those ideas wasn’t as easy. Already having done the foundation of the house and more than half of the drawings for the mall, a good portion of the task was done but that didn’t make it any less draining. 

You didn’t know how many hours had passed as your headphones died and you were finishing one of the last blueprints while you held a wall of the model, waiting for the glue to dry. When your pencil accidentally rolled under the table, you carefully let go of the wall before you leaned down to pick it up. 

After grabbing it, you lean back up. A loud bang fills the air as you bump your head against the table. You rub the back of your head with a wince when the sound of a slight crack follows. 

“No, no, no,” you whisper, quickly sitting up and seeing exactly what you were afraid of. The wall you’d been holding came crashing down. Leaning back a bit to check if anything else was damaged, you noticed that in your hurry to sit up, you’d creased a few blueprints on your desk. 

The pencil you just picked up was flung across the room as your vision blurred. You could hear your heartbeat thumping in your ears, your hands started shaking, and your breathing picked up. 

Shaky hands smacked your forehead while tears were making their way down your cheeks. “You’re so fucking stupid,” you grumbled with a trembling voice, each word accompanied by another smack to your head. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” you muttered, hands now tangled in your hair in frustration as you felt a sob bubbling up your chest, opening your mouth to gasp for air as it felt like your throat was closing up.  

Gentle hands grabbed your wrists and intertwined with your fingers. “Hey, it’s okay,” whispered Alessia with a soothing voice as she squeezed your hands. 

So absorbed in your frustrations, you hadn’t even noticed that your girlfriend was already home. As soon as you saw her standing next to you though, you felt like you could breathe again. Her mere presence calmed you down drastically. 

You slowly raised your head to look at the blonde and when she saw your tear-stained cheeks, she immediately pulled you up from your chair and into a tight hug. Even more tears trickled down your face as you were engulfed in Alessia’s perfume and the overwhelming warmth that came with her hugs. 

Sobs racked through your whole body and you clenched your fists into the back of the blonde’s t-shirt, hiding your head in her chest. One of the striker’s hands rubbed slow circles onto your back as the other held your head against her and gently scratched your scalp. 

When your sobs calmed down a bit and with your head still buried in the crook of your girlfriend’s neck (because you knew that you wouldn’t be able to string together a coherent sentence if you looked at her), you mumbled with a weak voice, “I- It’s just all too much. I actually thought I could do this, you know. ‘Cause how hard can it be to go to training for a few hours and then build some stupid house and make a few drawings?”

Once the dam broke, the words tumbled from your mouth like an avalanche, “Turns out, if you’re as incompetent as I am, it’s too fucking hard. And I know there are thousands of people out there who have it so much worse than I do so I shouldn’t be whining like this but I just feel like I’m drowning and I don’t know what to do,” you confessed before taking a deep breath. 

You slowly loosened your grip on Alessia’s shirt and started pulling away as you whispered with your head hung, “Sorry, I’m just dumping all of this on you, it’s not that big of a deal.” You took another step back, wiping away your tears and clearing your throat, “So, how was game night?”

Before you could put more distance between you, soft hands grabbed your cheeks and pulled you close again, “Stop invalidating your feelings!” You drowned in ocean-blue eyes as Alessia reassured, “It is a big deal and I want you to dump everything on me so we can work through it together.”

Her thumbs grazed your cheekbones, your heartbeat slowly returning to its normal pace, while the blonde continued, “I know finals week is very stressful but you’re more than capable of doing this. I believe in you and so should you! If you talk to me and let me help you, we can make sure that you’re not neglecting your health and that you’re not biting everyone’s heads off at training while you’re building a Dreamhouse even Barbie dreams about.”

Letting out a quiet laugh, you hesitantly nodded your head, wrapping your arms around her waist as the striker added once more, “And just because other people have it worse, doesn’t mean you’re not having a hard time.”

You let out a sigh as you nuzzled against Alessia again, “I’m sorry. For everything. I know I haven’t been the nicest person or the best girlfriend. It’s just felt like my final week rather than finals week,” you chuckle with an apologetic smile. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll have everything ready in time. You have three more days to finish this, and on two of those we don’t have training, which means that you’re not working any more today!” the blonde grinned, excited now that the time you two spent at home could actually be spent together. 

Seeing Alessia’s smile instantly brought a warm, fuzzy feeling to your stomach as you felt overcome with gratitude. Not only for the fact that she stayed with you and supported you but also for the fact that she tried to understand you. 

“God, what would I do without you?” you question, squishing the blonde’s cheeks in your hands as you pressed a feather-light kiss to her nose, forgetting about your deadlines for the first time in what felt like months. “But seriously, thank you for putting up with me even if I’ve been a ‘gloomy Gus’ as Kyra would say.”

“Of course, love,” Alessia answered with a gentle peck, “You don’t need to thank me. But you should apologise to Kyra. While I quite enjoyed a night without her pestering, she seemed very sad.”

You grimaced as you let your head fall against the taller woman’s shoulder and sighed, “I’ll go call her.” Staying in Alessia’s embrace for a moment longer, you reluctantly pulled away from her warmth and started walking to the bedroom. 

“Y/N.”

Before you could make it out of the study, your girlfriend’s voice stopped you. 

Turning around, you were met with Alessia smiling lovingly at you, eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

“I’m proud of you.”

Hearing those words brought new tears to your eyes as you rushed back into the room and tackled the striker in a bear hug. The quiet groan she let out when your body crashed into hers was lost on your ears when you continuously whispered ‘I love you’ while suffocating her with kisses. 

Not even when you graduated top of your class had your parents told you they were proud of you. Not even when you and your team won the Olympics that same year. But you didn’t care anymore because you had a clumsy blonde who’d tell you every day. 

#woso #alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc #woso x reader #arsenal

[hannieoftheyear]

7 Days (kmg)

Can feelings change in only seven days?

During a seven-day vacation with your friends, you try to get over your feelings for one of them.

Feeling alone, surrounded by people who seem closer to each other than you, you find comfort in the one person that you didn’t know before.

pairing: kim mingyu x fem reader

w.c: 26k

genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst | content warnings: MDNI! alcohol consumption, some anxiety themes, protected penetration, masturbation, fingering, lmk if i miss something important!

remember! this is a fictional work, it doesn't represent how any of the real people mentioned are like in real life

note: this took so long to finish! i've had a crazy couple of months at uni, but luckily i passed all of my midterms :) i really hope you like this ♡♡♡

ONE WEEK BEFORE

Your eyes focus on the pavement below as you walk, head low and not a single word coming out of your mouth. Your steps and Minghao’s are coordinated, muscle memory moving them forward through the city. Each block memorized in both of your brains, each closed shop and parked car, the blinking lights and broken pieces of pavement, all so familiar to you yet coated with a nostalgic feel. You’ve walked the same path together countless times before, but tonight there’s an awkwardness impossible to shake away.

A third body walks by his side. Sami’s fingers are tangled with his with familiarity as they engage in a conversation you choose not to take part in. A question flies your way every few minutes, and you know they’re trying to include you so you don’t feel out of place, but nothing comes to mind besides one-word answers. You laugh every now and then, just so they know you’re at least a little bit engaged.

The pavement changes color under your feet and you know you’re barely minutes away from your home, finally. You like their company, you really do. And you appreciate them walking you to your door this late at night. But their presence can be suffocating.

You can’t avoid feeling guilty about your... feelings. She's one of your closest friends yet she never mentioned starting a relationship with the guy you were in love with. If you would’ve known, you would’ve never let your feelings progress beyond a tiny crush. You would’ve never deluded yourself into thinking he may also like you. For the record, you never told her either, but the only friend you trusted with your feelings also failed to mention that detail. You felt betrayed at first, but deep down you always knew they were closer to each other than to you.

They’ve been together for months now, but even if you’re used to seeing them kiss and hold hands, the awkwardness in your body doesn’t care. Every time you see him your hands are going to shake, and you mind will go blank. Inside, you can’t help to feel giddy anytime he takes interest in your answers to his questions, and you always feel bad after. So, when they insist that they’ll walk you home, you refuse. Not only you feel awkward around them, but now you have to be the third wheel? You'd rather not. But they don’t take a no for an answer, and thus, your current situation.

Your front door appears on your sight, and you feel instant relief. You're quick to bid them goodbye and thank them for keeping you company. Even though you kept saying they could just turn around and you’ll be fine many times over the walk, you don’t want it to seem like you hate their company. Their presence is not the problem, you are.

As you turn around to open your door, your name is called and you’re instantly facing them again.

“We’re going to Chan’s grandfather’s house on the beach next week. You should come!” Sami invites you with a smile on her face. She says it so sweetly you almost don’t care that they’re telling you with such short notice.

“Oh! I don’t know, I'm kinda behind on some homework for the semester,” it’s not a lie per se, you do have some stuff due after the break, but it can be done in a day. You like your friends, and you always have a good time when you’re all together, but a group of ten people can be overwhelming, “I have to think about it.”

“C’mon it’s spring break! We’ll go to the beach, play card games and get drunk!” Sami tries to convince you again. The fear of missing out on fun times with them starts overpowering your need to run away from your feelings. You think about it for a second too long.

“We really want you to come, please?” Minghao steps in. His statement sounds so honest as he looks at you directly in the eyes. You fear you will never be able to say no to him.

Your gaze can’t stand his for long, his eyes are almost piercing though your soul waiting for an answer. You’re quick to break eye contact and look at Sami, who’s waiting for your answer just as expectantly as Minghao. They’re still holding hands as they face you, fingers interlocked, like there’s some external force that’s keeping them from separating.

What can possibly be worse? Rotting in your bed for a week, thinking about how you could be having more fun with away with your friends? Or spend a full week around the man you could never have and his perfect girlfriend? You juggle your options in your head as fast as you can.

“Ok I’ll be there.” You end up saying at the sight of their pleading eyes.

“Great! I’ll text you the details tomorrow, bye!” Sami excitedly replies as they walk away, and the feeling on the pit of your stomach starts to bubble up again. You can just ignore them from time to time. You don't have to spend all 24 hours by their side. It’s completely fine.

DAY ONE

The week flashes through and, in an instant, you’re already packing for the trip.

Your mind spirals, thinking of excuses to not go, but it stays empty as you zip up your bag, go downstairs, get in a taxi and go to Chan’s place where you’re supposed to meet everyone. It's only a 10-minute ride to his house, but today, it feels like hours. Watching the buildings pass by through the window, the streetlights still on and the sun barely peeking through the horizon, hundreds of thoughts cloud your mind, running through your brain like they’re on a race, competing on which one’s can stress you fastest.

But you calm yourself as soon as you see Chan standing on the sidewalk at the distance. He always looks genuinely happy to see you, always inviting you to hang out because he knows you’re not going to do it yourself. He's just so warm and welcoming, always knows how to make you laugh, even on the toughest moments. He's someone you could call a best friend. When he and Jihyun started dating, it made sense. She’s someone who, in the best way possible, never shuts up. He lets her talk and watches her with glossy eyes, as if what she was saying was the most interesting thing he’s ever heard. In a way, you should’ve known they would’ve been perfect together, but you were too caught up in your own feelings and didn’t notice your two best friends liked each other. Maybe that’s why she confided in Sami instead.

A bear hug welcomes you as soon as you get out of the taxi. Your bag drops on top of your feet as you hug Chan back, squeezing him like you haven’t seen him in ages. You have about three seconds of peace until you have to speak up.

“My bag’s crushing my feet.” You giggle with your mouth right beside Chan’s ear, so he hears you perfectly and laughs with you. He moves down to pick it up himself but is shocked by the weight.

“Did you bring your fucking desk? Why is this so heavy?”

“Hey! I just brought the essentials.” You did in fact only bring essentials, besides plenty of clothes, a lot of underwear just in case, your skincare, a hair drier and a few towels. Years of vacations going wrong taught you that those things can really make the difference.

“It's only a week...”

“A girl always has to be prepared.” You reply mysteriously as you walk away from him and into his house, forcing him to carry your bag inside for you. He follows right behind you, and when you cross the door, another voice welcomes you.

“She’s right you know,” Jihyun tells Chan while hugging you, “last month you forgot the toothpaste when we went to the lake! If I hadn't brought my travel bag you would have yellow teeth right now.” Chan huffs but doesn’t argue with her, he just smiles and gives her a peck.

Sami and Minghao are talking in the kitchen, so you only wave at them. Her shiny long black hair is tied up in two buns, and it contrasts perfectly with his disheveled light brown hair. Gyuri, Vernon and Jeonghan are playing some card game on the coffee table, you could hear her screams from the door, he probably cheated, and she only realized after losing. Miyoo looks at them, with a bored expression that doesn’t change as she sees you walk in.

After saying hi to everyone, you notice your bag already beside a couch, so you sit there. Looking around, you realize you’re the last one to arrive, as all your friends are already here. Right as your about to question what you were waiting for; Chan speaks up again.

“Ok so, Joshua told me yesterday that he couldn’t come, his shitty job didn’t give him the days off,” everyone collectively ‘oohs’ at the news, “and I know we had planned the budget with all ten of us,” He gets interrupted again as Vernon walks out of the bathroom and sits beside him, “so I… invited my big brother. I hope you’re all cool with that I’m sorry I didn’t ask you before it was just so sudden, you all know him he’s chill, and he won’t-"

“It’s ok bro we don’t mind.” Minghao steps in to calm Chan down. Everyone agrees with him instantly and he visibly calms down. It seems everyone has already met Chan’s brother, besides you.

You’ve been to Chan’s house a fair share of times, but almost always his family wasn’t home, and if they were they just kept to their own and let you hang out. And you know your friends sometimes hang out without you, you don’t mind, so they probably are more familiar with Chan’s family than you are. A new addition to the trip doesn’t bother you, you’re probably not gonna talk to him much anyway. You’re usually very quiet around your friends, especially when all of them are around. So, it’s not going to be different this time.

“Great! Then we can start heading our way then.” Everyone stands up and grab their bags simultaneously at his words, eager to finally start the trip.

“You said then two times babe.” You hear Jihyun joke as you head out.

“I know I was nervous ok." Chan laughs with her.

The sun is already out by the time everyone is out the door. Orange rays enlighten the world and blind you lightly if you stare at the fiery sun for too long. It’s a beautiful sight for a long road trip.

You squint, trying to gain your sight back, and the first thing your eyes land on is a truck you’ve never seen before, and a hilariously tall muscular man standing against it. Just when you think you might’ve seen him before, Chan walks over to him and hugs him.

“Oh right, this is my brother,” Chan turns around and speaks directly to you, “I don’t think you’ve met him yet.”

“Our budget savior!” you cheer before directing to his brother, “Hi! I'm Y/N.” Your right hand moves forward to shake his awkwardly.

“I’m Mingyu,” He chuckles lightly at your cheer and shakes your hand back. A tiny, almost unnoticeable, electric current runs through you at the touch, alerting all of your senses. Fortunately, he doesn’t notice because he’s looking at your bag in your other hand and then back up to your eyes, “are you riding with us?”

“Oh! I don’t know,” the question startles you, and you look at Chan panicking a little inside, “if you guys don’t mind!”

“I don’t mind, c’mon,” Mingyu cuts Chan before he can reply, takes your bag out of your hand to put it in the trunk and you follow him back. You take the chance to look back at the other cars, Sami’s already behind the wheel of one of them while Minghao puts Gyuri’s and Miyoo’s bags in their trunk, and Vernon and Jeonghan are already sitting inside the other car, waiting. Your body relaxes, riding with Jihyun, Chan and his brother might be the best option. It’s not that you don’t like the others, but you’re quite sure Miyoo just doesn’t like you, and you’re not close enough with neither Jeonghan nor Vernon to be in a closed space together for six hours.

While Mingyu makes space for your bag in the trunk, your eyes can’t help to scan him up and down. If you thought Chan was buff, nothing could’ve prepared you for his brother. As he moves the heavy bags to accommodate yours, you think his arms are probably double the size as yours, if not more.

“Is this your car?” He finishes placing everything and you ask him something before he can catch you staring.

“It’s our dad’s but I use it more often than him nowadays,” he closes the trunk and finally turns to look at you, “you wanna take the shotgun seat? I don’t want to listen to my brother’s playlist again, I used to like it but now I’m kinda tired of it.”

It takes your brain a second to register what he’s asking you, “it’s fine by me,” you reply in a chuckle and you both start walking to the front of the car, “but I don’t think you’re gonna like my music better, I exclusively only listen to Taylor Swift.”

You hear a gasp coming from him and turn your head aside to find him with his hand on his chest, dramatically looking at you with a shocked face, “how could think that? Can a man not like Taylor Swift?” Your attempts to hold your laugh fail and the back on your hand flies to hit him lightly on the arm.

“I’m not judging you! It was mostly a warning that you’re not gonna hear much diversity in artists.”

“It really is fine by me, I like a few of her tunes by the way.”

“As you should!”

In a few steps, you stop right beside the passenger's door. Mingyu’s about to open the door for you when you hear Chan complaining behind you.

“Hey! I thought I was riding shotgun!”

“Sorry! It seems your brother likes me better already!”

“How could you!” He crosses his arms feigning annoyance and you and Mingyu chuckle at him, your gazes crossing for a second. You sit down, ignoring Chan’s fake complaints, Mingyu closes the door for you and circles around the front of the car to his seat.

After four hours into the ride, two bathroom stops, tons of singing and shouting to Taylor Swift's hits and Mingyu surprisingly knowing all the lyrics to Anti-Hero, the car sits in a comfortable silence. Chan fell asleep almost half an hour ago, that’s when the karaoke sessions stopped, Jihyun’s reading some book on her phone, Mingyu’s focused on the road and you’re admiring the view. The smell of wet grass from the dew envelopes the car, the wind ruffles your hair harshly, but you don’t care, and every now and then you’ll pass through a farm, and you’ll see the animals from far away.

Conversation strikes up again when Chan wakes up after a loud gasp Jihyun let out because of her book. The car becomes alive with laugher, telling funny stories from high school to Mingyu, and Chan’s complains about how you’re spilling too many secrets to his brother.

Jihyun starts telling a story you heard a million times, so you tune out and take the chance to take a proper look at Mingyu. His eyes are focused on the road, but he’s paying special attention to what’s being told to him, reacting at every detail and asking questions every now and then. His tan skin glows thanks to the morning sun, you can see a tiny glint in his eyes and how his nose scrunches when he giggles, but what catches your attention the most are his moles, highlighted by the sunlight, there are a few sprinkled on his cheeks and an especially cute one on the tip of his nose. It's undeniable that Mingyu is very handsome, and polite, and funny, and hot, and if you weren’t so stuck in your feelings, you know you’d probably crush on him for the whole trip.

How come you’ve never noticed him before? You’re sure he must’ve been at Chan’s house at the same time as you at least a couple of times, but you don’t remember ever saying hi to him. You think you’d remember him.

Chan and Mingyu’s grandparent’s house is huge. It’s probably more of a mansion than a house. Each of you have your separate individual rooms, and the two couples get the two big rooms. The entrance has a shoe rack that can fit almost twenty pairs of shoes, the kitchen has two ovens and the biggest island you’ve ever seen (and probably ever see) and the living room has couches so big that you could take a nap, and everyone would still be able to sit comfortably. Right by the living room there’s a door to a small back porch that goes straight to the beach. It’s peaceful and beautiful and you wish you could stay here more time.

After snooping around the house, you finally go to your bedroom, that’s luckily on the first floor, and settle your stuff down. The room is almost as big as your own living room. There’s even a desk where you can put your laptop and a few drawers for your clothes, but what takes the cake is the on-suite bathroom that has a full-length mirror and a bathtub as big as the bed.

You must’ve been exhausted because as soon as you lay in bed you fall asleep.

When you wake up, the sun is starting to set and the smell of something being cooked fills your nostrils. Three soft knocks at your door wake you out of your trance, and the mysterious person opens your door just barely enough.

“Hey,” Jihyun whispers, her head peeking inside, “we're setting up the table for dinner.”

“I’ll be right out.” You half moan half whisper in your sleepy voice.

It’s kind of funny in a way. When you go out of your room after a nap that was definitely too long, the door of the room right in front opens at the same time, revealing a just woken up Mingyu. It’s funny, that you both, being the ones less close with the rest of the group, end up together in this side of the house, the only rooms on this corridor, while the other two rooms downstairs are across the house and the rest are upstairs.

“You took a nap too?” You ask Mingyu as you walk towards the dining room side by side.

“Is it that obvious?” His voice is still raspy.

“Not at all, if we don’t take in account the messy hair or that your shirt is inside out.” You joke, still a little sleepy.

“Oh shit.” The innocent conversation completely shifts when he stops in his tracks, takes his shirt off to and puts it back the right way. You’re frozen in place, now fully awake. You obviously could tell he was big and buff, but seeing him shirtless, even if it was just for a second, is completely different territory. He pays no mind to you and keeps walking.

A group of voices coming from the dining room take you out of your trance and remind you what you were doing. “I need a drink.”

DAY TWO

You’re not sure what you did yesterday after dinner. One drink turned into shots with Jihyun, and then everyone was drunk, playing some stupid drinking card game. That memory is already blurry, but after that is just a void.

As soon as you open your eyes, you regret it. The sun beams brightly directly to your face, increasing the feeling of someone drilling into your skull. It’s your first full day on the beach house and you’re completely wrecked.

The only thing you want to do right now is take a pill for your headache and have a fulfilling breakfast.

There’s complete silence around the house, only the birds chirping and the waves crashing accompany you as you walk to the kitchen. Most probably everyone's in the same state as you but opting to stay in bed to sleep the hangover off.

“Oh hi, I didn’t think anyone was awake.” You really don’t mean to be mean, but Mingyu’s presence startles you. You were yearning for some alone time in the morning, peaceful and quiet, at least until the others wake up.

“Good morning, yeah I just woke up,” his drowsy voice confirms it, “I don't think anyone else is awake tho.” You only hum in response, noting that you both are too sleepy to engage is small talk.

Mingyu’s company proves not to be dreadful like you thought. Both of you mind your own business, sitting down eating breakfast and killing time with your phones in comfortable silence. It’s nice, the atmosphere isn’t awkward and there are no expectations from either of you, only two people starting the day at the same time.

“You and Jihyun seem close,” Mingyu breaks the silence and looks at you after putting his phone down.

“She’s one of my best friends,” it’s your turn to put your phone down to look at him, “she and Chan were the ones who introduced me to the rest of the group actually.”

“Yeah? How did you guys meet?”

“It’s kind of a long story,” You sound dismissive even if you don’t want to, Mingyu doesn’t strike you as someone who cares about high-school drama and you don’t want to bore him to death, “just high-school stuff.”

“Well now I’m curious,” He fixes his posture to face you properly, “I’m listening, c’mon we have all morning.”

“Okay,” you chuckle at how eager he suddenly sounds, “basically, I moved cities right before senior year and she was my first friend in my new high school. I also met Chan on my first day since he gave me the tour.” You stand up to grab both of your cups, he notices and moves his hand to give you his cup himself. His hand barely grazes yours, but the touch is electrifying. Panicked, you move away quickly, put the cups in the sink and keep going with the story.

“Me, Jihyun and three other girls formed a group, we were all best friends and would always hang out together, but it didn’t last long. Long story short, Jihyun and one of the girls had a big fight and she kinda left the group, became friends with Minghao and Chan and cut her relationship with the rest of the girls. I was the only one still talking to her, and yeah, the group started crumbling.”

“This is very high school.” Mingyu jokes and you agree.

“I told you! But it gets worse. So, this girl Hyerim, the girl Jihyun fought with, didn’t like that I was still talking to Jihyun and would always turn around at the sight of her. Just childish behavior that eventually started pissing me off, because every time she saw me talking with anyone even remotely close with Jihyun, she would get mad at me. It’s stupid I know, we were 18, and I just I thought those kinds of fights only happen in middle school, but I guess I was wrong.”

“Oh my god, are we talking about Hyerim?” Jihyun suddenly enters the kitchen, clearly just woken up.

“Mingyu wanted to know our story,” you chuckle at her disgusted face and joke, “our favorite topic.”

“She sounds very immature,” Mingyu adds to your joke, not very interested in dissing some girl he doesn’t know, just adding to the teasing.

“She was a controlling bitch you couldn’t fathom her friends having other friendships beside her, she wanted followers, not friends.” Jihyun can’t help to get angry for a moment, so you intervene.

“Yeah well, luckily I escaped her claws and you and Chan adopted me, like a stray kitten,” Your arms wrap around her shoulders, and you give her a peck on the cheek, “my saviors!”

“I think I’m gonna go back to bed, my head’s killing me.” Jihyun whispers while patting your hip and starts walking away from the kitchen, “bye guys, really nice chat.” Her sarcastic tone impossible to miss.

“We don’t really talk about it much; we can get really pissed.” Your eyes are back to Mingyu, who’s gaze never left your figure.

“I get it tho, it sounds like a really shitty situation,” weirdly enough and even if he didn’t intend to, he comforts you. Mingyu doesn’t make you feel stupid for still having feelings about a fight that took place years ago.

After a while, more people wake up and a plan is made to go to a hiking spot Gyuri found close to the house. But all morning and even during the afternoon, all you can think about is how you’ve spoken more words to Mingyu at breakfast than to all your friends in two days. How comfortable you felt alone with him, no expectations, no need to pretend to be someone you’re not, in that moment, you were just you.

“And then he pooped! On the balcony floor!”

“No way! That’s disgusting!”

The bottle that was full an hour ago passes from Mingyu’s hand to yours, with now less than a third of the liquid left.

Avoiding Minghao proves not to be as hard as you thought, people have been sticking to their own plans during the day, everyone only being together at dinnertime and after.

Loud voices can be heard from the living room, they found a board game and made it into a drinking game; and they’ve been playing for over an hour, all while you were with Mingyu in the kitchen. You’re both sitting on the floor with your backs against the island, facing the couches where everyone else is sitting, but none of you make any attempt to join them. Some come and go, enter the kitchen to grab a drink and go back to the living room. Chan even told the both of you to join them, but you refused at the same time. The minutes go by without realizing, just talking about whatever, and you don’t feel the need to go where everyone is, you’re not missing out on anything.

“There’s no way that actually happened!” The words barely get out of you, between the laughs and the bottle on your lips.

“I got pics let me-” Mingyu’s hand heads for his front pocket to retrieve his phone.

“No!” You push him lightly to the side and you both break into laughter, “why would you take photos of that?” It’s a genuine question to ask, but it seems that you’re both a little too drunk to focus on more than one thing at a time because he doesn’t hear you.

“Why can’t I find them?” He’s looking through his gallery, and in your drunk haze, you don’t think your actions through. You put the bottle on the floor and throw yourself over him to take his phone away from his hand. Your arm stretches as far as possible to reach for Mingyu’s cellphone while the other is placed on Mingyu’s thigh for support, and you don’t notice how dangerously close your head is to his, or how your hand is dangerously high on his thigh, but he does. You put all your core strength to use and manage to snatch his phone right out of his left hand. For a second, your surroundings become blurry, the voices are no longer background noise, it’s just you and Mingyu when you look up and his eyes on yours, faces barely inches away. You stare at each other, without blinking and with your breaths synchronized for what feels like minutes. A little smirk forms on the corner of his lips when his eyes glance at your lips for a millisecond, and you can’t take it.

“I can’t believe you have pics of a stranger's poop on your phone.” You chuckle awkwardly as you back away from him and sit on your previous position, a little sobered up. His phone is left on top of his leg, where your hand previously was.

“I didn’t actually take them, it was my friend that sent them to the group chat, if that makes it any better,” you look at each other before erupting into laughter once again, the awkward atmosphere already gone.

“It doesn’t!” You try to focus on your friends and the game they’re playing while Mingyu takes another sip from the bottle. There's silence between you for the first time in hours, the only thing you feel is his body close to yours. Your knee sits on top of his and you’re afraid that if you dare to move, he’ll realize your closeness and move away. You've known this man for two days, an objectively short amount of time to be so comfortable getting into the other’s personal space, but it doesn’t feel awkward.

“Do you think they’ll notice if we casually left to go to sleep?” His voice reaches your ears, not letting the silence get between you two and overpowering the shouting coming from the living room.

“I don’t think so,” You look at your friends carefully. There doesn’t seem to be a piece missing in the group, nothing changes without you there, even if they all like you and you like them, there’s not much to add, “maybe Chan will notice if you disappear suddenly, he keeps looking over.”

“Jihyun looks this way every now and then to look for you too.”

“They’re a very caring couple.” Just that second, both Chan and Jihyun look back to the kitchen and see you sitting on the floor, and you both crack up laughing.

You rest your head back against the island and your eyelids feel heavy. You try to fight the urge to close them, you don’t want the night to be over yet, but it’s pointless. Your eyes close almost on its own and your head falls softly to the side, against Mingyu’s shoulder.

A soft smile appears on Mingyu’s face when he feels you rest on him. Warm and giddy, he’s careful not to move much as to not wake you up, but your heavy sighs signal him that you’re fast asleep. He stays that way, watching the others play while you’re resting for a few minutes. When you move slightly in your sleep to get more comfortable his breath hitches for a second, he doesn’t really want you to wake up.

Awfully, when everyone gets tired and cleans up the living room, it’s time for the house to sleep. They notice you asleep on Mingyu’s shoulder, a few knowing looks come your way, but most importantly, Chan’s worried look alerts Mingyu. He assures Chan that you’re okay, just tired, and tells him to go to sleep, that he’ll help you to your room.

DAY THREE

Second day in a row where you wake up feeling like the weight of the whole world is sitting on your forehead.

With your eyes still closed, you stretch your arm to the side you think you remember putting your phone at. Somehow you actually find it there and grab it to check the time, but soft knocks on your door interrupt you.

“I’m awake!” Even talking feels painful.

The door opens slightly, revealing a freshly showered Mingyu with his hair still damp and his skin shiny from the morning skincare.

“Can I come in?” It’s cute how he whispers. He most likely knows your head's killing you. Your nod gives him the okay and he comes in, like your knight in shiny armor, with an ibuprofen a glass full of cold water.

You sit up when he sinks down beside you after placing the glass and the pill on the nightstand. The warmth of his body beside yours gives you flashbacks of the night before and remind you how you fell asleep on him.

“Oh my god,” embarrassed, you cover your face with your hands, “I’m so sorry for yesterday, I swear I’m never drinking again.”

“It's okay,” Mingyu chuckles, “you didn’t bother me.”

“Really?” You move your fingers enough to uncover your eyes and side eye him, “you don’t have to lie.”

“I’m serious!” With one hand, Mingyu removes yours from your face so that you look at him properly, “we were both pretty drunk and having fun, I didn’t mind.”

“You look too good for someone who was drunk last night.” He doesn’t even have noticeable eye bags, while you’re probably as pale as a zombie and look like you slept only one hour. A smirk slowly forms on his face at your words.

“You think I look good?” He teases and makes you realize what you said exactly, but you’re not giving in that easily. Even if the blush fights to get on your cheeks and your stomach starts filling with butterflies, even if your mind questions the reasons for his teasing and your eyes linger for a second too long on his smirk.

“For someone who got shitfaced 8 hours ago, sure.” You avoid his gaze and focus on the glass on the nightstand. You forgot it was there.

Your attention is now on hydrating and taking the ibuprofen pill, but you hear him chuckle again and stop drinking, “What?”

“Nothing.” His lips form a quivering line, and you know he’s fighting for his life not to laugh. “We’re all going to the beach later,” he gets up quickly, a light chuckle escaping at your questioning face, “you better not be hangover by then!”

“You’re not funny!” You shout at him as he leaves your room.

You smile as you finish the glass of water. You really try not to ponder about why that interaction left you so giddy, why remembering his smirk makes you all mushy inside, why your stomach contracts thinking about him caring enough to bring you something for your hangover.

When you decide the leftovers of the alcohol left your system for good, you change into your bikini, grab your beach towel and head to the backyard beach to join the rest of the guys.

At first, you join the girls sunbathing, snacking and chatting calmly. There's no sight of the guys, probably doing their own thing, guy stuff. The time passes quickly, talking about university and gossiping about each other's coworkers, and its already past lunch time. You almost don’t think about the night before, falling asleep on Mingyu’s shoulder and how he seemed okay with it.

It's nice spending time with the girls, even if you don’t talk much around them, they’re funny and you end up cackling and falling onto the sand multiple times.

You’ve done a good job staying away from Minghao these past two days, but there’s so much you can do before you have to face him again. And it seems that the universe thinks you’ve reached your limit.

A shirtless Minghao, wet from swimming in the sea, comes running your way, says good morning to you and asks how you woke up so nonchalantly, like his whole presence it’s messing up your whole nervous system. He never noticed and he’ll probably never know just how much he affected you. Now, for you, it’s just awkward. Remnants of your feelings still float around, making you feel guilty anytime you’ll see him and Sami acting all coupley, like right now. After saying hi to you, Sami got up and jumped to hug and kiss him, making it almost impossible for you to ignore, but your gaze doesn’t fix on them for too long.

Behind them, Vernon and Mingyu are setting up to play beach volleyball. It's only a few meters away, not enough to see a lot of details but enough to leave you breathless. Since the morning, even if you won’t admit it, all you wanted was to see him again, but you hadn’t thought about the fact that you were at the beach, with warm temperatures and the sun shining brightly. Your stomach is doing backflips seeing his defined bare back as he’s setting up the net, a pretty mundane task, but something about how concentrated he is, in addition to the way his muscles tense, is driving you crazy inside. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you had a fleeting crush on him for the time being, it’s not like you’re gonna see him much after anyways

Sometime during your haze, Jeonghan came up to ask if any of you girls wanted to play, you were too gone to answer, but Miyoo happily went along, and now they’re playing what seems like a friendly volleyball match, but you know it’s going to get competitive in no time. Minghao, Chan and Mingyu against Jeonghan, Vernon and Miyoo, it’s gonna get ugly.

Gyuri, Sami and Jihyun keep talking beside you, but you concentrate on the match, or you at least try to. You really try to, it’s just, he’s very distracting. The ball passes from one court to another swiftly, when one team scores, they make fun of the other and vice versa. The ball goes particularly far into Chan’s team’s court and Mingyu runs to get it, having to fall onto the sand to hit the ball from below, and it works, Minghao manages to throw it to the other team’s court, and they score.

You always thought people playing sports were as hot as they could possibly get, that’s probably why you’re basically drooling over Mingyu like he’s a full course meal and you haven’t had anything to eat in weeks.

Jihyun distracts you from your train of thought to tell you that her, Sami and Gyuri are going back inside. You're still a little in your head and only hum in response. You’re left alone with your thoughts. Your eyes don’t want to leave his figure, until his team ultimately wins the match thanks to points that he managed to score, and he glances at you, catching you staring, and smirks. That damn fucking smirk it’s gonna get you in trouble.

You lay down on your towel, if your eyes are not on him maybe you can get over it. Out of sight out of mind, as they say. But the peace is short-lived.

A few steps get close to you, getting sand all over your body and now a shadow blocks the sun. You open your eyes reluctantly, and you wish you never opened them in the first place.

The light is blinding, but not as much as the sight of Mingyu with his black swim shorts, sun-kissed skin, glistening from the sweat, and panting. It’s too much for you. Your eyes close instinctively and you act as if he didn’t disrupt your peace. You hear that damn chuckle, and he sprinkles more sand on you.

“You’re really annoying did you know that?” You intend to sound serious, but he’s caught up with your antics by now and just chuckles.

“Only when I’m trying to get someone’s attention.” You take a breath to try and gather strength to not jump him right there and open your eyes as you sit up. He's quick to motion with his hands for you to scoot so he can sit beside you. You roll your eyes sarcastically, but still move to the side.

“How was the game?” The way he’s sitting, propped down on his elbows, tenses his biceps perfectly, almost like he’s doing it on purpose, so you try to focus on his face as he answers your question.

“They had nothing on us,” he says smugly while looking at the loser team undo the volleyball net, “but you saw that, so why are you asking?”

“What I saw was you struggling until the very end,” his teasing doesn’t get you this time, on the outside at least, because your mind is still a mess, “good thing you managed to pull through tho!”

He nods sarcastically at your response, but something else catches his attention before he can continue teasing, “What’s their deal? Are they together?” You follow his eyes to see who he’s referring to: Vernon is running away from Miyoo who’s chasing him with one of her flip flops on her hand and shouting something along the lines of ‘don’t run away you coward’. They’re both laughing and you’re also used to it, you know their fights are not that serious.

“Vernon and Miyoo?” The hysterical laugh comes out of you before you’re able to stop it, “in Vernon’s dreams sure.” You joke but you can tell he’s seriously asking.

“Nah I think she likes him too.” Mingyu lays down after his statement, with his hands behind his head, and closes his eyes to enjoy the last rays of sunshine of the day.

“Are they that obvious? You’ve been with them for three days and you already noticed,” to you it was always obvious Vernon had a thing for Miyoo since Sami first introduced her to the group, but it’s funny that someone who doesn’t really know them also noticed.

“It’s always more obvious from the outside.” His answer catches you off guard. You only hum in response and he doesn’t press more on the subject. It leaves you thinking, were you that obvious when you liked Minghao? There were times when you felt Sami knew, but she never asked you about it, and since she and Minghao started dating you never felt those weird vibes again.

Mingyu yawns at your side and gets up, distracting you from your train of thought.

It’s beginning to get dark, bringing the temperatures down a bit, and the sunset paints the sky with a beautiful mix of oranges and pinks. It looks like a painting you’d see in an overpaid museum, and it would make that price totally worth it.

It seems you’re not the only one who noticed the pretty twilight sky, because Mingyu runs inside the house and comes back after a few minutes with a digital camera and wearing a black jacket for the cold. He walks around taking pictures of different sides of the sky, with different clouds and color patterns.

“Is that camera yours?” You prop down on your elbows to admire the sky and him, and you hear a light hum coming from him as an answer, “Didn’t know you were into photography.”

“I wouldn’t say I'm into photography, I just like taking pictures of what I find pretty,” once he’s done taking pictures of the sky, he returns to his place beside you, “one of these days I want to wake up before the sun rises and just sit here, watching the stars disappear as the sun gets higher and higher.”

“It’ll probably be really peaceful,” even if you’re alone at the beach now, you can still hear people talking from inside the house, probably deciding what to have for dinner. You imagine sitting on the quiet beach at 6 am, the only sound being the crashing waves and a few morning birds, the sky beginning to light up as the sun slowly rises and the morning wind ruffling your hair. “But the first step is to not get wasted the night before.”

“Or we could just stay awake and go to sleep after.”

“Who says I'm doing it with you?” You joke, of course you’ll accompany him if he asked.

A sudden cold wind makes you shiver and Mingyu notices, so he takes his jacket off and gestures for you to take it. You take it silently without much resistance and notice he also put on a sleeveless t-shirt before. The jacket looks giant on you when you put it on. You zip it up, so the cold doesn’t make its way inside, and you’re embraced by his scent in no time. You smile at him, and he returns it before answering your previous question.

“I’d just annoy you until you’re awake and you’d have no choice other than to come with me.” You chuckle at his response; you wish you could see what happens inside his mind.

“And I'd punch you for interrupting my holy sleep time.” You’re still laughing when you see a flash from the corner of your eye, “did you just take a picture of me?” Mingyu shrugs with an amused look on his face and waits for the picture to load, “I probably look disgusting! Let me see.” You try and stretch to take a glance at his camera roll, but he turns it off before you can see anything.

“Why would you look disgusting?”

“I don’t know,” he has some kind of power to always surprise you with what he says, “I've been out here all day, I didn’t get the chance to check myself on the mirror.”

“I told you I only take photos of pretty things.” This time you can’t hide the blush that creeps up to your cheeks at his words. No one ever complimented you so directly, and it’s not like you’re new to flirting, but you’ve never quite felt like this. Maybe it’s because everything around you feels so dull, except for when you’re with him. When you’re around anyone else, you never feel the need to speak up, afraid they’ll don’t care or just straight up ignore you, but these past few days, when you spoke to him, you felt like he wouldn’t judge you, he paid attention, joked with you, and even chose to spend time with you when he could’ve been with anyone else. He's just easy to be with. It's tempting to want to spend every day with him, but also terrifying, because everything could change after the trip is over.

“Then let me see?” You try your luck one more time to see the pic, also to try and turn the conversation another way so he doesn’t catch on to the effect he has on you, although it’s already too late.

“Don’t you trust me?” He looks at you with puppy eyes and a pout that could make anyone melt in an instant.

“Stop doing that!” You hit him lightly on his left arm.

“Doing what?” He replies, feigning innocence.

“You know what you’re doing.” Your look is serious, but he's amused by your reaction.

“And I think it’s working.” His eyes don’t leave yours, starting a staring contest between the two. None of you want to give up, raising your eyebrows to tease the other and titling your head to the side, but you don’t bulge and neither does he. You try to figure out the workings of his brain, if he feels the same things you do. You embarrassingly want to think that he does.

“Can I-”

“Guys!” Sami’s voice interrupts you and both you and Mingyu stop staring at each other to look at her, “Dinner is ready! Come inside!”

Only at her words do you realize the sun already fully set and the sky is painted a dark blue color, with the only thing visible being the moon and a few stars.

“W-we should get back inside.” You look back at Mingyu to find him already staring at you.

“What were you gonna say?” He stops you before you can get any farther.

“Oh, it’s nothing, c’mon they’re waiting for us.”

DAY FOUR

“And then she ghosted me! The nerve!” Gyuri finishes telling her story about a girl she hooked up with last month.

“But didn’t you just say you didn’t really wanna be with her? I don’t get it.” Jihyun asks what all of you were thinking.

“Yeah, but like, I don’t want to be the ghosted one!” You, Sami and Jihyun burst into laughter at her words.

You and the girls are sitting on the living room while the guys and Miyoo are outside playing a rematch from yesterday’s game of beach volleyball. As soon as everyone finished eating dinner, Miyoo demanded a rematch and everyone, with their competitive souls, agreed immediately. It’s already dark outside, but with the back lights on it’s possible to play, at least for a while before your eyes get tired.

The four of you ended up sitting around the coffee table, talking about relationship drama or just telling funny stories. You don’t have much to add to the conversation, so you just say a comment or joke from time to time and give your opinion when asked. That’s until you’re given the spotlight.

“So, Y/N,” Gyuri catches you off guard and you look at her confused, “what’s up with you and Mingyu?”

“That’s right! I see you together a lot these days,” Sami adds excitedly. Three pairs of eyes are now watching you closely, curious for your answer.

“Oh nothing…I don’t know.” You shy away when a little smile cracks at your lips, hugging your knees close as you glance at the beach to see if you can spot Mingyu, but all you see is a blur due to the poor lighting, “we just happen to end up together a lot I think.” It is partially true because it’s not like you actively searched for him.

“C’mon! Don’t you think he’s hot?” Gyuri’s so forward she just makes you laugh, “If I wasn’t a lesbian lemme tell you, the things I would do.”

“Gyuri oh my god! He's right there, have some decency,” Sami brings her back to earth.

“Right, sorry sorry,” she apologizes and takes a sip of her beer before speaking to you again, “but really, you should do something!”

“Like what? I don’t know guys maybe he’s not interested.” Do you want him to be?

“I saw you two at the beach yesterday and trust me, he is.” Sami puts her hand on your shoulder to make you look at her and tries to encourage you, with no bad intentions whatsoever, she just wants to see you happy, you know that.

His words from the night before echo in your head, ‘it’s always more obvious from the outside', but you don’t really want to talk about it out loud, afraid you’ll jinx it. Jihyun throws you a knowing look and opens her mouth, but she gets interrupted before she can outer a word.

“Guys! Guess what-” Chan suddenly enters the house and the four of you shut up instantly, guilty look on your faces, “Wow what were you talking about? Am I not allowed to hear it?”

“It’s girl stuff!” Jihyun doesn’t hide that he is in fact, not allowed to hear your conversation, and throws a pillow his way, but he doesn't budge, “What do you want?”

“What I was going to say was... we beat them!” You chuckle and the four of you applaud lightly.

“That’s great babe!”

“You should’ve seen them when we-” Chan comes inside to show off their win when gets interrupted by a sudden darkness. The power went out, and everything and everyone sits in silence for about two seconds before Jeonghan comes in.

“How does everyone feel about turning on the fireplace?”

Lighting the fireplace on turned out to be a great idea. It’s been hours and the power is still out. All ten of you are sitting on the couches and on the floor, surrounding the only source of light and warmth, and drinking the beer that’s left from the previous days before it loses its gas.

It’s warm and cozy, and everyone is engaged in different conversations with the people by their side. You listen as Jeonghan talks about his new job at a museum, trying to pay attention, but it’s really difficult when, from the corner of your eye, you can see Mingyu and Minghao talking comfortably. It’s weird, seeing the guy that caused you so many emotional breakdowns over the past year talking with the only guy who was able to make you forget about it. Even if every day that passes you feel yourself getting more and more over him, there’s this little voice on the back of your brain reminding you how you stupidly thought you might’ve had a chance with him.

Someone by your side shifts and you see Jeonghan’s expression change before he exclaims, “No touchy coupley things when we’re all around!” Everyone’s eyes are now on the couple behind you. Jihyun just sat on Chan’s legs and they're just hugging, but Jeonghan’s low-key right, most of you are single and it looks like they're rubbing it on your faces (even if it’s not what they want).

“You’re just jealous because you’re lonely and sad,” Jihyun rebuttals and everyone huffs. It’s normal for them to bicker like this so you just watch like it’s a comedy show.

“I’m single by choice, I’m not letting anyone tie me down.” Jeonghan replies proudly.

“Didn’t you go out with that girl for the whole winter? What was her name... Miyeon? Or what about Seungcheol last year?”

“Well, I’m all free now so”

“Then don’t come to me asking for tips on what to say to girls ever again,” this is the kind of burn that makes Gyuri start clapping like crazy.

“I’m sure everyone gets what I mean,” Jeonghan looks around, checking to see if anyone agrees with him. Even if it's quite dark, you can see a few heads nod in agreement, including yours.

“Oh c’mon! Doesn’t anyone here like someone?” Now Jihyun is the one looking for backup, but it’s something harder to admit, “if you like someone, then you know you want to be close to them, to touch them!” She makes eye contact with you, knowing you do understand her, because she was the only one you told about Minghao, because you used to tell her everything.

“No one?” She asks again, looking at everyone one by one, but no one comes forward. And she lastly looks at you again. You shake your head as panic starts invading you, fearing everyone will notice why you, what she means. You make eye contact with her probably for less than a second, but it feels like your whole life passes in front of your eyes.

“Ok, fair enough.” The tense climate stills the air, because even if Jihyun agreed to minimize the public displays of affection, her speech got to some of you, and it takes a few minutes for everything to go back to normal.

But you’re still anxious. You never discussed what happened with Minghao after you found out he was seeing Sami, you couldn’t. Her indirectly letting you know she remembers makes you feel seen, exposed, bare, like she just disclosed your deepest secret to the whole world, like everyone now knows the most pathetic thing about you.

Eventually the atmosphere starts getting full of laughs and different voices again, but you’re still in your head, so much so that you almost don’t notice the power is back on.

As everyone is celebrating, you get up and announce quietly that you’re going to call it a night. Throwing some lame excuse, but no one really bats an eye, they just say goodnight and go back to their conversations. Everyone except for one person.

Mingyu, who’s been keeping an eye on you the whole night, and who’s already accustomed to your shyness, noticed that you got more reserved after Jihyun’s speech, but didn’t want to ask you anything that would make you uncomfortable in front on everyone. So, when you rapidly scape to go back to your room, he takes the opportunity to leave as well, putting the same excuse you did about being tired and not wanting to wake up super hangover again.

As you’re in tucked in bed, about to burst out crying in any second, Mingyu knocks softly on your door.

You don’t answer, staying as still as possible, trying to stop your sobs so nothing can be heard from outside. It’s been a few minutes since you left, so maybe it’s believable that you’re already asleep.

“Are you alright?” Hearing Mingyu’s voice shatters you and the tears and sobs become impossible to stop.

“Yeah, everything’s fine!” You wouldn’t believe you if you were him.

“You’re not fine.” He sounds actually worried

“How would you know? Just leave me alone!” Your voice breaks at the last words, telling Mingyu everything he needs to know

“I can’t just leave if I know you’re crying

“Yes, you can! Just go

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” A playful tone mixes in his voice, “You know you can talk to me.” You do know, but this is different. This is exposing something to him that makes you feel pathetic, idiotic, and it's much more than you ever told anyone

There’s silence while you consider letting him in. He’s not a stranger but he’s oblivious enough to the situation that he wouldn’t care about the drama, maybe you can trust him not to tell anyone. He cared enough to come and check on you, it’s way more than what anyone else did.

Mingyu waits for you, worried about what could’ve caused you to leave so suddenly and start crying alone in your room.

“I’ll be in my room if you need anyth-" He was about to give up when you open your door just barely, as to not let the corridor light reveal your blotched, tear-stained face. But you don’t stay there, you run back to the bed as he figures out that you’re letting him in.

He enters your room carefully, slowly stepping in and closing the door behind him. Even with the lights off, he sees you sitting on your bed, legs crossed and back against the wall while you’re fidgeting with your fingers, avoiding his eyes. Before he says anything, he sits beside you on the bed, testing what you’re comfortable with. When he’s sure you’re not going to tell him to fuck off, you finally hear his voice.

“What’s wrong?” He experimentally puts one hand on your knee, trying to comfort you, but it ultimately makes you sob a little before you reply.

“You have to promise not to make fun of me.” You’re still avoiding looking at him, entranced looking at his hand, but when he doesn’t answer you for a few seconds, you look to the side to meet his eyes, and only then he notices how serious your request is.

“I’d never make fun of you, or what made you sad like this.” He fixes his posture, sitting back against the wall like you and legs stretched on the bed, “If you’re comfortable you can tell me, but if you’re not I can at least try and make you feel better, take your mind somewhere else, whatever you need.”

You feel stupid. Crying about something that happened months ago, about a guy that isn’t really worth your time, when in front of you have this perfect man that for two days has made you feel more comfortable than anyone has ever. Sure, you don’t know if he just does this for all his friends, if you can even call this a friendship, but at least he cares. In this moment, you feel you could tell him anything, your deepest secrets, and he would welcome it with open arms. You'd do the same for him.

“You also can’t tell anyone,” You rush to add, “like not even Chan, okay?” Mingyu nods, a little smile showing up at his face as he realizes you’re really trusting him, “I promise.”

And you do. You open up to him, trusting him with what you have been carrying on your back these past few months that you didn’t trust no one else with.

You tell him how you always liked Minghao. How you found out you actually went to the same middle school but didn’t know each other. And how you thought he liked you back. How you don’t even like to talk about people you fancy, but you trusted Jihyun with it, before she distanced from your group and from you. How she suddenly became close with Minghao and his friends. How every time you managed to be with Jihyun alone, she would show off that she talked on the phone with him every day, that she regularly crashed at his place after work, that he often paid for her meals. She obviously had started liking him too, and it killed you inside. You couldn’t talk to her because his name would always come up somehow. A few weeks pass, you fight with your friends, and Jihyun and her new group welcome you in. They start inviting you to their hangouts, to their houses (often Chan’s). You always felt a little bit out of place, even if Chan and Jihyun always tried to invite you, and even if they always made sure to engage with you in conversations. But you were happy, you had a group of friends you saw every week, who made you laugh if you were going through rough times, and you got to spend time with the guy you liked. It wasn’t perfect, but it was good, until it wasn’t.

And after you finished senior year, the group was still intact. Hanging out whenever everyone could and talking on the group chat constantly. Except, you saw Minghao more often because you got into the same college, and even though you were on different majors, you still managed to bump into each other. One Friday, long after, everyone managed to get free to see each other after so long, you all went to some bar and you didn’t realize how late it got, so Minghao, being that he lived close to you, offered to take you home. Things happened and you ended up sleeping together. He was your first, God how pathetic is that, and it just solidified how much you liked him, and you thought it meant something for him too. But things nothing changed after that, you two never talked about it and he just pretended nothing happened. And you didn’t tell anyone about it.

Months later, on Chan’s birthday, people started telling inside jokes that you didn’t understand about Sami and Minghao, teasing them to no end until they both turned red. When you looked at Gyuri for context, she whispered that they’ve been on numerous dates in the last few months. Your heart dropped, you had to pretend that everything was fine for the rest of the night, but as soon as you got home, you started crying and overthinking. If this was going on for months, were they already something when he slept with you? Did that solidify to him that he liked Sami? All the times you thought maybe Minghao was flirting with you were probably just your mind fucking with you, or the worst cascenario, he was flirting with the both of you until he decided which one he liked best. You felt stupid, pathetic, but most of all you felt betrayed. Because everyone knew, including Jihyun. And all this time you geeked to her about every interaction with Minghao, telling her every detail, she knew he was seeing someone else. Sure, your relationship had changed, she had new best friends, and she probably didn’t want to disclose something about Sami’s personal life, but letting you delude yourself was just mean.

Days passed, and a new secret was revealed to you, that Jihyun and Chan started dating. This just enforced what you thought that she just didn’t trust you anymore, you weren’t as much of a part of her life as before. You never talked about Minghao with her again, the last time she asked you about him was the same day you found out her and Chan were dating, almost half a year ago. But the topic ended there, and it was never brought up again, until tonight.

“So, earlier when she talked about liking someone and she looked directly at me,” you breathe for the first time in at least half an hour that you’ve been talking to Mingyu nonstop, “she was referring to me liking him, and I felt so exposed, her looking at me right in the eye trying to make me confess to liking someone just so she can win an argument, it felt like I was naked and at her mercy in front of everyone.” You feel like a huge weight was lifted from your shoulders.

You can still feel tears rolling down your face. Sometime during your talk, Mingyu put his arm around you, and you rested your head on his shoulder. You’re sure his sweatshirt must be damp with tears now.

He doesn’t say anything for a while, letting you calm down and stabilizing your breathing. You concentrate on his breathing and his fingers drawing circles on your shoulder.

“Thank you.” You finally speak up after a few minutes of silence.

“For what?”

“For listening,” you answer like it’s an obvious thing, “it was a lot, and you didn’t have to, but you listened anyway.”

“Of course, and I asked, didn’t I?” You chuckle lightly. He has a way of making everything easier.

“So, what do you think?”

“Do you really want my opinion?”

“I asked, didn’t I?” You copy what he said before and he chuckles.

“I think you should tell them how you feel.” You don’t look at him, but you can feel his eyes on you, as if analyzing how you respond to what he said. “They’re your friends after all, they’ll understand.”

“I've thought about it, I’m not very good at that kind of talks, I kinda just keep it to myself until I get over it.”

“I don’t mean to be harsh, but it doesn’t seem to be working.” It’s hard hearing that, but it’s true. You’ve been carrying this for years and you’re still crying over it.

“Wow,” he’s not trying to be mean, but it really left you speechless, “maybe I should… to get it off my chest at least.”

“You don’t have to, but maybe you’ll get some closure with Jihyun that way, that’s the only way she’ll know she’s making you upset.”

“No, you’re right, I’ll talk to her,” when? You don’t know, “but only her, talking with Minghao kind of scares me, what if he forgot?”

“Don’t tell anyone but,” he starts, and you smile at his silliness, “I never really liked Minghao in the first place, I don’t know why, but now I have a reason.” You can’t help to laugh.

“You don’t have to dislike him just because of what I told you, you should get to know him!” You don’t resent Minghao for what happened, and he’s still someone you can call a friend, regardless of your history.

You dare to look up at Mingyu from his shoulder, and your face is much closer to his than you thought. It’s dark in your room, only the moonlight providing you with enough light for you to see how his head turns slowly to meet yours, and his eyes encountering yours, like he knew you were staring at him.

“He’s an ass for what he did to you, and I don’t want to be friends with someone like that.” He speaks softly, almost in a whisper, but with such a serious tone that it gives you goosebumps. Your eyes can’t seem to leave his, and neither of you want to stop. It’s becoming a habit of you two to stare at each other, testing who’ll look away first. His breath fans over your face, and you think about his words. You knew Mingyu was a good listener, he proved it several times over the span of four days, but now he’s even taking what you said into consideration before establishing a friendship with someone? Sure, he already didn’t really like Minghao, or so he said, but you gave him a reason to, so he must believe and trust you enough to truly take it into account.

This time, Mingyu breaks the silence first, “Let’s go watch the sunrise tomorrow,” but he doesn’t break the eye contact. You swear you see a little spark in his eyes at his words, and it makes impossible for you to say no.

“You really want me to go with you?” You just want confirmation that he does, that he’s not taking pity in you after crying your eyes out in front of him.

“It’ll be sad if I go alone, and besides, you’re the one I like the most here,” and it’s like a thousand butterflies fly out of their cocoon simultaneously inside your stomach, “don’t tell Chan I said that.” You both laugh at his words.

“We should go to sleep then, what time does the sun come out? Like 5:30 am?” You groan while saying the last words. You were never a morning person.

Cold hits you all around when Mingyu takes his arm off your shoulders and gets off your bed. You almost want to ask him to stay the night here so you can wake up together. But you don’t.

“I’ll come and wake you up, but don’t punch me please,” he jokes about what you said the day before and you chuckle. “Good night, see you in a few hours,” he says as he walks to your door slowly, hoping you’d ask him to stay. But you don’t, and he doesn’t say anything either.

DAY FIVE

Waking up so early in the morning isn’t difficult. You barely got any sleep; you spent the whole time watching the ceiling overthinking about everything that happened. You even heard Mingyu’s alarm in the distance, so when he knocked to wake you up, you were already ready.

The sky is starting to show more colors as the minutes pass. You’re sitting on a mat at the beach while Mingyu’s inside making coffee for the both of you. Is it wrong to think that there may be something more to your friendship with Mingyu? You’re almost certain you’re starting to like him, and these moments you’ve been having together don’t do anything to suppress your bubbling feelings. It’s dangerous, and you don’t want to let it go too far, not again.

You hear his steps behind you before you see him. He hands you the coffee in silence and you thank him with a smile. You’re both slowly sipping away your coffee admiring the colors of the sky as they become more alive the more the sun comes out. The soft morning breeze gives you chills, but the warm cup in your hand eases it away, and the waves crashing provide with enough background noise for it to not be completely silent. But being quiet with him is never uncomfortable, you don’t feel the need to feel the void, you’re just two people enjoying each other’s company.

As the sky turns orange and pink, with swirling clouds making it look like a painting, Mingyu takes his camera out and takes photos beside you. You watch him as he does his thing, changing the settings of the camera and picking different angles, mesmerized, and you don’t notice he says something to you.

“Sorry?” You come back to earth and find him looking at you already.

“I said I’m glad we did this,” his smile almost outshines the sun.

“Me too.” You smile back, afraid to show just how you really like to be with him, afraid to scare him away.

“You’re the first person that doesn’t think I’m weird for wanting to do this you know?” He mutters after he outs down the camera, “people always tell me it’s too much of a sacrifice.”

“That’s so stupid!” You huff, incredulous look on your face, “I get not wanting to wake up early on vacation but like, a sacrifice? That’s so dramatic.”

“You get it! Thank you.”

It’s quiet for a little while after. Every few minutes a new shade of orange paints the sky and Mingyu points his camera up to take more pictures. He probably took a thousand pictures already but shows no sign of stopping. You opt for laying down, the little sleepiness you felt already slipped away, and you’re left with your thoughts until Mingyu lays down too.

“I wish we could freeze time and just stay here like this.” You prefer being here alone with him than inside the house getting overwhelmed by everything. Here, it’s much peaceful, comfortable.

“That would be nice wouldn’t it.”

The sun is fully out by now, the birds already started singing on the background, and you can hear cars on the distance. The day officially started, you’re no longer on the limbo in between yesterday and tomorrow.

After everyone wakes up and has breakfast together, you and Mingyu take a quick nap before lunch time. Eventually the lack of sleep got to both of you, and you weren’t even able to keep a conversation going.

The house is suspiciously silent when you wake up, it’s probably 3 or 4 pm but no one seems to be at the house. Except for the one person you encounter when you go out to the porch for some air.

“Hey! You're finally awake!” Jihyun greets you with excitement, too oblivious about what happened the day before, “that was some nap!” Maybe you should really tell her, she has the right to know if you’re mad or upset at her. It's not like she forgot about what you’ve told her, you just have to let her know how that makes you feel. It’s easy!

“I think I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow, I must’ve been too tired.” It comes out a little colder than you intended, hopefully she’ll mistake it by sleepiness.

“Were you okay yesterday? You went to bed so suddenly.” Now’s the time, you can’t just lie now, if you don’t tell her now then it’s pointless.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” You go to the point straight away and she notices your serious tone.

“Is everything okay?” There’s a little voice in your head telling you she’s not actually worried, but right now you decide not to believe it

“It’s about what you said yesterday, I wanted to ask you...” your hands shake as you lean against the rail by her side, looking at the beach, not so peaceful like in the morning now, and you turn your head to look at her, “it may be stupid but, were you like, indirectly asking me if I still like Minghao?” You do feel stupid as the words leave your mouth.

“Oh, I don’t really remember why I did that, I was kinda drunk and saying stupid shit,” you relax a little, at least she wasn’t trying to put you on the spotlight on purpose, “but maybe? I mean you never talked about him again.”

“I just thought it was awkward, since I became friends with everyone.” The conversation isn’t really going anywhere. You could leave it like this, but the topic in out in the open and it could be the only chance to get answers, “and with you also liking him and all that.”

“I-I didn’t, I mean-” she stutters, and suddenly dropping the bomb that you know more information than she gave to you in the first place doesn’t feel right.

“It’s okay, well no it’s not really, you should’ve told me, but I’m past it by now.” Jihyun visibly relaxes at your words, but the air starts getting thicker, the atmosphere awkward.

“You’re right I should’ve told you, I’m sorry,” she avoids your eyes. You’re looking right at her, but she keeps her eyes on the ocean, or the sand, or literally anywhere else. “It was just a silly crush, and it didn’t mean anything.”

“I don’t think it was, but it’s fine.” How can she just brush it off so easily?

“Actually, you don’t know how it was,” suddenly now she’s capable of facing you, and her eyes are almost on fire, “we weren’t even friends by then, so you don’t know what it was like.”

“Why are you saying that like it’s my fault?” Anger starts to take over your brain, “and we were definitely still friends.”

“It just wasn’t the same and you know it.”

"You were the one who pushed me aside!”

“I pushed you aside? I welcomed you! When you were alone! I invited you to every hangout, every party, I invited you everywhere!”

“You stopped trusting me.” There’s a noticeable hurt in your voice, “you didn’t even tell me when you started to like Chan.”

“You were too busy feeling sorry for yourself that you didn’t notice, even Vernon noticed, and he has zero awareness of what happens around him.”

“Because my best friend liked the same guy as me and didn’t even tell me!”

“I just couldn’t tell you.”

“Yes, you could’ve! and I really still wanted to be friends with you, at least I thought we still were.” Flashbacks of times your other friends told you how you should stop taking to her come to your mind. “And you did tell me,” Jihyun looks confused at your statement, “maybe not directly, but every time you decided I was good enough to have alone time with, and knowing just how much I liked Minghao, the only thing you ever talked about was him, and how smart he was, or how funny he was, or how he let you have his jacket, it was pretty obvious.”

Jihyun freezes in place. She looks down again and red stains start appearing on her cheeks.

“So yeah, I didn’t exactly want to talk about him with you.” This really isn’t turning out the way you thought it would.

“I- I didn’t realize,” you barely hear her whisper, “I wasn’t doing it on purpose.”

“Did you also just didn’t realize that it would’ve been nice to tell me that they were going out?” Their names aren’t said out loud, but Jihyun knows what you’re talking about, “I had to found out myself, and everyone knew except for me, stupid old me who was obliviously still hung up on him.”

“I’m sorry,” if you weren’t so angry, maybe you’d take pity on her and stop arguing, but at this moment, it just makes you madder.

“Do you know how horrible it is to see the girl who used to give you insecurities and the guy you’ve liked for years be together? Or how hard it is not to cry in that moment? Surrounded by other people who don’t know how you feel, while the only person who did know just ignores you?” Tears start blurring your vision, but you don’t let them fall, you can’t, “luckily I don’t like him anymore, but the guilt is killing me.”

“She asked me not to tell anyone, they weren’t serious at first.”

“You could’ve just told me beforehand that he was seeing someone, you didn’t have to tell me who it was.”

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Jihyun looks at you in the eyes for the first time in minutes, her eyes also glittery with tears.

“And yesterday, I felt so exposed, like you only wanted me to confess so you could win a stupid argument, like my feelings didn’t matter at all.”

“I really wasn’t trying to do that, I’m serious.”

“It doesn’t matter what you wanted or didn’t want to do, that’s how it made me feel.”

“I’m sorry.” The front door opens on the other side of the house and a chorus of voices reaches your ears. What a time to have a full house again.

You both look inside at the first sound, and you can feel her eyes on you again a second after, but you can’t turn your head, you can’t look at her, not right now. Without looking back, your feet walk you off to the beach, maybe with a load off your shoulders, but a little more broken than before.

A walk alone might just be what you need. Tears don’t fall, the wind blowing the off before they can. By the time you come back, you find someone else alone on the porch, and it’s almost like the universe wants you to suffer today.

Minghao stands in the same place you were before, with his body resting on the rail and looking at the ocean. He sees you at the distance and waves, but you can only find the energy to give him half a smile.

It’s impossible to ignore him now, so you walk over to him and stand by his side in silence. But that doesn’t last long. Something in you seems to want to let go today, free you from everything you’ve been holding inside for so long. At this moment, revealing to him how you felt seems like the best option, and you don’t argue with your brain about it.

“I’m gonna tell you something,” your words catch his attention, and he turns his head to you, but you stay still looking ahead, “but you don’t have to say anything back, it’s just so I can let it go, okay?”

Minghao nods slowly, confused by your words but listening, nevertheless.

“I used to really like you, you know,” your gaze catches his for a second before going back, “I don’t anymore, but yeah, I just wanted to get it off my chest.”

His mouth opens, as if he’s about to say something, but nothing comes out. But his silence doesn’t scare you like you thought it would, “I didn’t mean to freak you out, and I don’t expect you to say anything.”

“I just… I didn’t know,” he sounds apologetic as he replies. Maybe it’s better that he didn’t know, it would be embarrassing if he or anyone else knew.

“We never talked about what happened between us,” it pains you to remember, but now you have to finish what you started, “but it meant something to me, I know for you it was probably nothing, because you started seeing Sami right after, and don’t get me wrong you two are perfect together I’m not trying to interfere, but yeah, but it really hurt me that you just pretended that everything was normal after.” You finish with a sigh of relief. Everything you’ve been holding onto is now out in the open, and you’ve never felt so relieved, like you could finally breathe.

“I was an ass,” it's surprising that, “I don’t have any excuse for what I did, I was an ass and I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you were,” you joke as you turn around, and he chuckles. You catch a glimpse of the living room through the window and see Mingyu sitting on the couch with Chan and Jeonghan. The three are paying attention to Vernon, who’s standing up telling a story, making dramatic movements with his arms.

“Are you okay?” Minghao asks and catches your attention again.

“I had a fight with Jihyun,” you don’t want to tell him, and you hope he doesn’t ask about it further, “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” it’s a little awkward, but there’s nothing you can do now. You told him what you had to, and he apologized, “I’m gonna go inside then, is everything okay between us?” he’s almost at the door when he asks.

“Definitely, and sorry I dumped all of that out of nowhere.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” With that, he finally goes in and joins the guys on the couch.

After dinner’s over and everyone moved from the dining room and onto the couches, you’re left alone picking everything up and doing the dishes. After three days of cooking every meal, you collectively chose to order from a local restaurant instead, so luckily there's not much to clean.

Dinner was awkward as it has never been. Jihyun couldn’t look you in the eyes, even if she tried to act as if nothing happened. And not a word came out of your mouth, besides when you offered to do the dishes. No one else probably noticed the weird energy in the room, but to you it was suffocating.

As you’re putting the glasses on the sink, Mingyu re-enters the room. You try not to pay too much attention to him as he walks over to you, even if your skin tingles every time he’s around.

“Do you wanna go for a walk around town?” He has to crouch down to whisper in your ear.

“Right now? I promised to do the dishes.” The idea excites you for sure, the house has been weighing you down all day and also spending time alone with Mingyu is an activity you’re starting to love these days. But you also fear what everyone might say if you leave out of nowhere.

“We’ll get someone else to do it.” You’re not usually this easy to convince, but for him it’s suddenly too easy.

“Fine, but you do the talking.” He chuckles as he motions for you to follow him.

His back is hypnotizing as you walk behind him. His hair is damp from the quick shower he went to take right after he finished his plate. The woody smell of his cologne reaches you strongly, and you fear it may become your favorite smell ever.

You manage to get past everyone that’s lounging on the living room without getting noticed, but as Mingyu’s about to open the front door, Chan comes out of the bathroom and bumps into you, questioning look on his face. Before he can ask anything, Mingyu tells him that you two will go out and to please do the dishes. His brows don’t stop frowning, but in the end, he lets you go out, agreeing with a groan.

It's the first time you’ve been out of the house for the last few days. The few supply runs that were done you didn’t go, and the beach is kind of a part of the house, so it doesn’t count. The fresh night air hits you when you step on the street, and with Mingyu by your side, you no longer feel suffocated, you can finally breathe.

When Mingyu starts walking in one direction, you follow him. Since him, Chan and their family have been coming here every summer for their entire lives, he knows the town pretty well and you trust him to guide you.

You walk around the streets for a while, talking about trivial things, telling each other anecdotes and joking around, getting to know each other more than you were able the past few days. Because even if you spent quite some time together, it was always situational, but right now, alone with no one you know around, it’s much easier to let go.

The town feels cozy and warm, like the hometown from a Christmas movie. It’s very quiet and you don’t encounter many people, only the occasional old couple that goes out for a walk or few people walking their dogs.

“How come I’ve never met you before? I went to your house multiple times,” you ask when you decide to sit down at a park.

Such a strong presence like his is hard to ignore, but somehow, after all these years of being friends with his brother, you only heard about him, never met. Your friends would talk about him from time to time, and you were always itching to meet him, but it was like he was never there.

“I let Chan have his space when he has people over,” he shrugs as if it’s the most normal thing, but it’s something that’s been plaguing your head ever since you were introduced.

“But you've met the others?”

“They're at our house a lot, a little more than I'd like if I'm being honest,” you both chuckle at his statement

“Yeah, they can be a little annoying and loud but that’s why I like them, they can take your mind off other things.” A lot of times, when you were having a rough day or you were sad about something, having fun with them would make you forget about everything. Focusing on a stupid cooking competition Gyuri made up or playing a new card game Jeonghan discovered, those would become your favorite days.

“I know you said you don’t really like Minghao for some reason, but what about the rest? Don't you like them?” You’ve seen him talk with everyone by now, so you’re just curious.

“Is it bad that I don’t care about them enough? To have an opinion on them I mean, they're just my brother's friends.”

“Are you saying you don’t have an opinion about me?” Deep down you really want to know what he thinks about you, why he seems to want to spend time with you out of all the others.

“I'd like to think you’re not just my brother’s friend by now.” That could mean a lot of things, but it doesn’t stop your stomach from contracting and a smile from appearing on your face.

“That does not answer my question!” You push him lightly to the side, so he doesn’t see the tiniest blush creeping up your cheeks.

“I already told you I like you the most out of everyone at the house.” He keeps finding the words to make your mind collapse and saying them so nonchalantly.

“You only said that to make me feel better because I was crying.”

“I mean it,” the poor lighting at the park doesn’t prevent you from seeing the truthfulness in Mingyu’s eyes, “I wouldn’t have asked you to come out here with me if I didn’t.”

“That’s good.” You respond through a smile, and you see his smile form in his eyes before the rest of his face joins.

“Why?”

“You might be becoming my favorite too.” The confession shocks you as it leaves your mouth, and you regret it instantly. But when you see him getting shy, and even detect a little blush on his ears, it becomes worth it. “Should we get back? It’s getting really late.”

The walk back is just as calm and comforting as before. But the difference is you’re much more aware of Mingyu by your side. How his hand slightly brushes yours every now and then, sparking electricity that runs through your veins and birthing just a tiny bit of hope that he’ll connect them for once. How your steps coordinate even if his legs are much longer than yours. You don’t care if your being quiet, not with him.

“I have seen you around at my house, I just never went over and said hi,” he confesses after a few minutes, “I really should’ve, we could’ve met sooner.” There’s a tone of regret in his voice and his eyes shine at the possibility.

“You’d like that?” His words warm up your insides and you can’t resist the smile that breaks on your face as you look at him.

“Yeah,” his eyes shine as they meet yours, entranced, “I feel like an asshole, Chan always invited me to hang out with you guys when I was home, but I always refused, I don't know why.”

“I get it,” you both look at the empty road ahead, breaking the eye contact before you trip and fall, “I probably would’ve done the same.”

“Eventually I met everyone, except for you.”

“Maybe we were meant to meet this way,” your statement makes him look at you with curiosity, “like maybe if we met before you wouldn’t have spared me a second thought and you wouldn’t have asked me to ride with you on the way here.”

“You believe in destiny and that stuff?” There’s no mocking tone on his voice, but you’re still careful with your answer.

“Something like that, more like the universe prepares us for our future, like we go through things for a reason,” you feel a little stupid talking about it out loud, but Mingyu won’t judge you, “I try to see the good in the bad, is it silly?”

“I do believe in destiny, so if it’s silly then I’m fucked too,” his joke takes a laugh out of you and your eyes connect again, “you look really pretty when you smile.”

“Oh, shut up!” You avoid his eyes by looking down, but your red stained cheeks reveal his effect on you. Why is he saying all of these things all of the sudden? The talk about wishing to meet sooner and destiny already had your stomach filled with butterflies, but his sudden flirting makes your insides want to explode.

“Missed it today,” you look up slowly at his words, “you looked down at dinner earlier, did something happen?”

“I impulsively talked with Jihyun, and it didn’t end well,” you start fidgeting with your fingers, embarrassed by your behavior, “she tried to apologize but, in the moment, it didn’t feel genuine to me so I kinda just stormed off.”

“At least you got to tell her what you felt,” your head tilts like you can’t believe what he’s saying, “see the good in the bad, like you said.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you huff, but the release of all those pent-up feelings did feel relieving, “and I also talked to Minghao after all.”

“Oh yeah I saw you guys talking earlier, how did that go?” It’s disappointing to see you’re already back at the front of the house. You don’t the night to end, you wanna keep carelessly talking with Mingyu forever.

“Better I think,” you shrug as he lets you in, “I told him that I used to like him.” He follows right behind you as you walk towards your rooms. The lights are all turned off, the silence interrupted by your steps and your voices. No one’s up beside you two. “It was awkward but at least I got it off my chest.”

“Used to? You don’t like him anymore?” Mingyu asks with curiosity. A tiny glint of hope reveals in his eyes waiting for your response.

When you think about why you liked Minghao, you can’t really think of much. Memories of times he’d remember details about you or say casual flirty things come to mind, but is that enough to like someone? Times when he straight up ignored you to go after his friends, or when he couldn’t even say hi to you when you saw each other in college always made you doubt.

“I don’t know if I ever liked him actually.”

“How so?” It’s scary to open up to someone like you’re doing with Mingyu, but for some reason you find it easy to tell him things you’ve never said out loud.

“I think I just liked the idea of a guy I found attractive liking me, even if he never actually did.” You always thought he was attractive, and when he’d say little flirty things to you your stomach your burn up. But before that started you didn’t think about him in that way. “I don’t know if it was all in my head or not.”

“Any guy would be really stupid not to like you.” He stands with his back against the wall beside his door, looking down at you with the most honesty you’ve ever seen in his eyes.

“You keep saying things like that,” confusing you, giving you hope. The wall hits you as you stand back, staring at him in the same position he is. Both beside your doors, you could end the night right now, stop this back and forth between you, but something keeps you out here, longing for him to do something.

“I mean what I say.” It feels like a challenge was laid down in front of you, but you want him to take the first step.

“I know.” He smirks at your words.

“Good.” His eyes stare so intensely, like he’s trying to read your mind, to know every thought passing through your mind. He’s usually very hypnotizing, but right now, under the moonlight, flirty haze and smirk adorning his face, you can’t look away.

Everything around you blurs as you stare at each other, waiting for the other to break the silence, to make a move, to do anything. Every second it passes the tension becomes more and more palpable, even the tiniest move might snap it. But the both of you stay static, only a faint noise of rain beginning to fall filling the silence.

Seconds feel like minutes, and you every second that passes that Mingyu does nothing gets more disappointing. Maybe it was all in your head after all.

Defeated, you throw a little smile and a muffled ‘good night' at him as your hand turns your doorknob, and you finally break eye contact, entering your room slowly as his face drops.

When you close the door, you regret it instantly. You stand there, listening attentively for any noise. Is he still standing there? Maybe you should’ve done something, maybe he was also waiting for you.

There’s no noise coming from outside, and as more seconds pass, you lose hope. You don’t even breathe in case it blocks any possible noise from reaching your ears, but it’s pointless.

You take a step closer to the door and open it slightly, stupidly hoping he might be waiting for you, but the hallway’s completely empty.

Once again, you deluded yourself into thinking an attractive guy might like you, even if this time the “signs” seemed so much clearer, but it clearly didn’t mean anything. You don’t regret spending time with him though, he actually helped you a lot these past few days, it’s your fault you thought it meant something else.

DAY SIX

After tossing and turning all night, sleeping in short periods of time while your mind over thinks instead of resting, you finally check the time and see it’s a normal hour to wake up.

You won’t admit, you kinda hoped Mingyu had texted you during the night. Your stomach contracts as you remember how he gave you his number a few days ago:

Everyone was sitting on the couches hanging out. It was early in the afternoon, but no one had really any plans. Mingyu was sitting in between you and Gyuri. They were talking about some band they both like. You grabbed your phone to google something he said, sure he got a fact wrong. When you smugly showed it to him, he huffed defeated, and grabbed your phone to read it again. But then you noticed he started typing something really fast. You looked at Gyuri by his side with a questioning look on your face, but she just raised her eyebrows teasingly after looking at what he was doing. When he returned the phone to you, it was on the contact list, a new one stood with his name on it.

Doesn’t really matter now, as you probably won’t use it after the vacation is over.

A smell of some kind of breakfast welcomes you as you open your door, someone is cooking something really yummy, but before you move forward to check who it is, Mingyu’s open door draws your attention. Judging by the time and his empty bedroom, it’s most likely he will be the one standing in the kitchen right now, and you can’t stand to face him. Not after last night. Not after you embarrassed yourself.

The sound of your stomach growling reminds you to feed it, and you remember a cute cafe you saw the night before while walking.

You manage to head out without the mystery person hearing and walk to where you remember the shop was. The sun in the sky warms up the atmosphere, you almost can’t notice the heavy rain it poured all night. As you near the cafe, you see they sell Jihyun’s favorite cupcakes. Maybe if you get her a few she’ll be unable to ignore you.

Ignoring Mingyu might be an easy task for these next few days, but Jihyun is someone you can’t ignore until the issue doesn’t bother you anymore. One of the thoughts that kept you up all night was how to fix things with her, you were both wrong, so it’s only right to approach her and talk things through again. What you didn’t expect was seeing Jihyun enter the same shop while you’re paying.

You make eye contact, knowing you’re both here with the same purpose. As you walk towards her, she doesn’t walk away from you, and that confirms she also wants to talk things through.

The shop has a few tables placed outside, and after Jihyun sits on one you sit in front of her. It's awkward as you put the cupcakes you just bought in front of her.

“I’m-” your voices overlap as you speak the same words. You both laugh awkwardly, and she motions for you to talk first.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday, it was childish of me to just walk away and not letting you explain, and I shouldn’t have dumped all that to you out of nowhere, I’m sorry.” Afraid of her reaction, the words leave your mouth so fast you barely register what you say.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” her response is surprising, as you expected to be the only one apologizing, “you were right about what you said, I was a bad friend for not telling you, and I shouldn’t have asked you in front of everyone if you were still in love with him, that was really stupid.” In love. It's weird to hear that about Minghao again, after so many days of getting over him, those words attached to him feel odd.

“And I’m sorry for not noticing that you and Chan liked each other, you really are perfect for one another by the way.”

“Thanks,” your comment breaks a laugh out of her, and you can finally breathe, “so are we ok? I really hate fighting, especially with you.” As the atmosphere relaxes between you two, Jihyun finally grabs one of the cupcakes you bought and starts eating it.

“Yes, I hate fighting too let’s not do that ever again please.” Making up was so easy, you feel ashamed for walking out on her, but now you’ll never do it again.

“Great cause I have something to ask you,” the relief you felt quickly turns into curiosity and you look at her expectantly, “well, it’s more so to confirm Chan's suspicions that a question but, do you have something going on with his brother?”

Red rushes to your face and your stomach drops in shock. Your shyness is a dead giveaway and Jihyun catches up in no time.

“Oh my god he was right?! You must tell me everything now!” Excitement shines through Jihyun’s voice, talking loudly and earning a few weird looks from people passing by.

“Nothing happened, I guess we’re together often and Chan noticed,” the disappointment on your voice is noticeable, “he’s really nice.”

“Channie told me yesterday that you two were acting weird and asked me if you had told me anything.” Jihyun notices something’s wrong, she stretches her hand to take yours, “did he do something?”

“It’s more about what he didn’t do”. The questioning look she gives you urges you to continue, “we went on a walk last night after dinner and Chan caught us before leaving, and I just,” remembering everything you talked about, how he wished he’d met you before, it’s a new kind of pain you’ve never felt before, “I thought he might like me or something, but it was stupid.”

“You know, for Chan to think there was something between you, I don’t think it’s nothing.” Jihyun always tries to be positive, and you do too, but this time you just can’t.

“Well, he had the chance, and he didn’t do anything, I was giving him bedroom eyes and everything!” Now you’re starting to get mad. At you. At him. At you for believing this was more than a passing friendship. At him for being so kind and hot and nice and handsome and a good listener and everything a girl could ask for.

“Maybe he got nervous!”

“He doesn’t seem like the type of guy to get nervous around girls.”

And you’re right. He isn’t. So why did you have such an effect on him that he couldn’t make a move?

From Mingyu’s point of view everything was different. He understood after a few days that he liked you a little more than he should, and it only intensified after you watched the sunrise together.

After your date that shouldn’t be called a date at all, but it felt like one to him, all he wanted was to kiss you, to prove that you’re worthy of someone being head over heels for you. He had been thinking about it the whole night, but in that moment, he froze.

You were looking at him so expectantly, with droopy eyes like you wanted to eat him. It was too much for him, and he’s beating himself for it since.

As soon as you closed your door, his feet automatically lead him to the windy beach, with only the tiny porch roof to shield him from the storm, but he didn’t care.

In the morning, he woke up before everyone as usual and started making breakfast for the two of you, hoping you won’t hate him, hoping he didn’t lose his chance. But then he saw you sprint out the front door like you were running away from him.

All day Mingyu’s been waiting to get you alone, but you were always so busy, talking with someone else or helping to clean up so the house is squeaky clean before everyone leaves tomorrow. If he doesn’t get to explain himself and make it right, he fears he probably won’t see you again for a long time.

As your last night at the house, everyone decided to have a goodbye party. And by ‘party’ you mean a hang out with no alcohol, because no one wanted to drive six hours while hang over and because you all spent the whole day cleaning and tidying everything up. Just hang out, playing games, maybe one beer or two, not enough to get anyone drunk.

Sitting on the couches as usual, you can feel Mingyu’s gaze piercing through you from across the room. You did avoid him all day, making yourself busy whenever you saw him around, but you didn’t think he noticed.

Your attempts to evade his overwhelming presence are pointless. You don’t look at him, focusing on whoever is talking or pretending to look for something on your phone, but every time you stretch to grab something off the table, he coincidentally goes for it too.

The distance between you might not be noticeable for the naked eye, just casually sitting across from each other, you’re not one to talk much so it’s usual for you to look at who’s talking and not interrupt them. Mingyu’s just the same, but his eyes seem to have got a life of their own and wander to you at your every movement.

It’s killing Mingyu inside to know that you’re avoiding him. He knows he fucked up, but fears that if he confronts you, you’ll just deny it. There's not much he can do in this group setting.

His opportunity arises when everyone decides to do a movie night. It’s weird to watch a movie on your last night, but he won’t oppose to it if it’s an unanimous decision. And when you’re tasked with the popcorn, he knows it’s time to talk to you without anyone hearing. He tags along, throwing some lame excuse to the others saying he’ll help you.

You object, you’ll do just fine on your own, but your legs betray you and don’t stop even when he insists. You’re both inside the kitchen in no time and there’s no running back.

“I’ll just heat the bags on the microwave, and you can take them to the coffee table.” You avoid looking at him too much, trying to focus as best as you can, but the popcorn bags are nowhere to be found. You look inside every cabinet, doing a very rigorous search, anything to keep the interaction as short as possible.

“Let me help you.” As the kind man Mingyu is, he attempts to join you in the search, but if he gets a mere inch closer to you, you might lose it.

“No, it’s fine I can find them.” It comes out harsher than you intend, but at least he backs away.

There’s a minute of silence, only your huffs of frustration can be heard.

“I’m sorry.”

You stop in your tracks, search already forgotten as you scavenge through your mind to find any usable words to respond.

“About what?” You huff incredulously.

“About last night.” Mingyu looks small as he waits for your reply.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” The big kitchen suddenly feels too small, the four walls imprisoning you. You ignore his figure as you walk over to the tiny storage room right beside the kitchen. Maybe there are forgotten popcorn bags there and you can finally end this conversation. But Mingyu's committed to his cause and follows you.

“But there is.” It’s almost annoying how adamant he is about whatever he wants to say. You don’t want him to pity you, it’s already embarrassing enough.

“It’s fine, really.” Mingyu followed you inside the tiny room, and when you turn around to face him, he’s dangerously close. Your breath hitches, but you force yourself to not have another reaction.

“It’s not,” barely a meter separates you from Mingyu, too close for your liking but at the same time too far. He realizes and moves forward half a step, so now if you concentrate enough, you can feel his breath as he speaks, “I know you’ve been avoiding me all day because of what happened... I shouldn’t have-”

“Look, maybe I've been avoiding you but it’s because I want to keep the last bit of pride I have left, I thought you wanted to kiss me and you didn’t, it’s okay, you don’t have to pity m-”

The words stop coming out of your mouth a millisecond before Mingyu grabs your face and smashes his lips against yours with force.

The kiss lasts merely seconds, but you melt under his touch instantly. Mingyu’s lips mold over yours perfectly, pillowy and soft, but with authority.

He backs away slowly, your eyes still closed, and your foreheads connected, he gives you a peck before finally separating.

“I wanted to kiss you, I mean, I want to, like all the time.” You watch him with glossy eyes, still dizzy from the kiss.

Your bodies are close like they’ve never been before, you have to move your head up to even see his face. The pumps of your heart are so strong he might even feel them. Your mouth hangs open in shock, your brain makes no sense of what’s happening, and words don’t seem to want to get out of you.

“I should've done that yesterday.” Mingyu can barely contain his smile as he confesses.

“Yeah, you should've!” You chuckle as you jokingly slap him on the chest, “Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know,” his hands sneak around your waist, fingers creeping inside your t-shirt to touch your bare skin, “you make me nervous.”

“Right, but you don't seem so nervous now,” as his fingers trace circles on your sides, your arms wrap around his neck naturally. Your faces get ever so slightly closer by the second, your chin up and his head down, eyes connected in a trance that draws a smirk on his face.

“Do you forgive me?” He breaks the eye contact, gaze focused on your parted lips.

“Hmm, I don’t know… I’m not convinced yet.” It’s your turn to smirk, trying to get a reaction out of him.

Mingyu’s eyes change before something takes over in him. He wraps his arms around your waist and erases the little distance between your bodies, connecting your lips in a frenzy kiss, nothing like the sweet one before. Your arms hug his neck, bringing his face and body impossibly closer to yours.

You sigh when his hands start traveling across your back as he deepens the kiss, licking your lower lip and tangling your tongues together. His arms hug your waist up, forcing you on your tiptoes to reach his height while your hands on his neck push him down. Like a game of push and pull, both of you fighting for dominance, one pushes their body against the other and the other pushes you both closer, if even possible.

Inside you feel like exploding. You knew you wanted him, but your body wants more, you need more. From the first touch the only thing on your mind is him, his hands on you, your chests flushed together, his lips on yours with force, where they belong. Everywhere he touches feels like it’s on fire. When his hands sneak below your t-shirt and his fingers wander around the unexplored territory, you sigh on his mouth again and you feel his smirk against your lips.

The metal shelves dig onto your back, but you don’t care, all that’s on your mind is him, until some lonely can falls to the ground and makes an inexplicable loud noise that alerts not only the two of you.

“Is everything okay?” Chan’s question comes from far away, but it’s enough to make you jump and push Mingyu away from your face.

“Yeah! We just,” You’re too out of breath to speak more than a couple of words, “couldn’t find the freaking popcorn.”

“Doesn’t Mingyu remember where we keep it?” You turn to catch Mingyu as he smugly retrieves his hand from behind your head to reveal the bags you’ve been looking for.

“Need any help?” Chan’s voice gets dangerously closer.

“No need! Thank you!” You take your chance to snatch the popcorn out of Mingyu's hands and start walking away from him and towards the kitchen, “Mingyu’s so annoying!” You hear Chan's laugh as he leaves.

“But you like me as I am,” Mingyu whispers in your ear, already caught up beside you, smirk so prominent you can even hear it.

“Is it too late to retract?”

“Yep, you’ll have to deal with me forever now.”

“Forever huh?” The humming of the microwave accompanies the moment as you turn around to find Mingyu standing against the kitchen island, arms stretched as if he’s showing off his muscles. He definitely catches you ogling him, but that’s what’s fun.

The knowledge that you’re able to make him nervous is too powerful. Your hunger translates in the way you look at him, standing against the sink in the same way he is, you look at him exactly the same way as the night before, lust and want almost tangible.

You stand still, waiting for him again, but this time he doesn’t chicken out. Slowly, he steps closer to you and cages you in between his arms. The air becomes too thick, atmosphere heavy as you look up at him expectantly.

The microwave beeps behind you but none of you react, too in your own bubble to care about the outside world. His eyes switch between yours, with his eyebrows raised and lightly biting his lower lip, using no words but telling you everything.

His hands sneak around your waist, and you don’t fight the smile cracking on your lips. You move your head forward, craving his lips on yours again.

“Guys what’s taking so long?” You’ve never separated faster. You barely get to turn around and open the microwave before Chan appears inside the kitchen, notoriously troubled. A few steps by your left, Mingyu searches for bowls, his back facing the both of you as to not reveal his blushed face.

Chan’s eyes switch between watching his brother ad watching you, waiting for an answer as you grab the piping hot bag and dump the freshly done popcorn into a bowl. The silence is telling, even to him.

“Sorry, we’ll be right there.” Chan grabs the bowl reluctantly, clearly aware that something happened, just not sure what. As he walks away, he even turns his head around to analyze the two of you for a second.

The movie democratically chosen is quite interesting at first, but after some boring scenes, the little power of concentration you have evaporates. Mingyu’s body is next to yours, legs touching and his arm resting on the back of the couch. What you want need is so close yet so far.

You sit back so he can wrap his arm around you without raising any suspicions, goosebumps run across your entire body when he finally does.

Not engaged in the movie at all, you opt for looking at the man by your side. Mingyu notices your gaze as soon as it lands on him, but he pretends he doesn’t. Everything about your current situation is making him lose his mind. The way you keep searching for his touch, even with all your friends surrounding you, inviting him to sit so close to you, not hiding as you stare at him, everything is making him nervous. The nervousness from the night before crawls back onto his body, because of you, his brother’s best friend, here, how you’re making him feel. He just doesn’t know how to act around you.

As he wraps his arms around you, you snuggle closer to him, only a blanket hiding your closeness from prying eyes. The movie’s long forgotten, with your head on Mingyu’s shoulder, you can only concentrate the rise and fall of his chest, his soft touches on the side of your arm. His warmth is hypnotizing, prompting your hand to place itself on the uncovered skin of his thigh, just above his knee. You don’t miss the way his breath hitches at your touch, goosebumps reveal around the cold of your hand. He expects for you to move it, but your hand stays there, squeezing softly, much too close to his knee, for a few minutes.

When a fight scene breaks on the movie, you take advantage of the noise and the initial shock, and move your palm slightly up Mingyu’s thigh, over his shorts but closer to where his groin starts to wake up.

Judging by Mingyu’s face, there’s nothing suspicious about you two. He stays looking up front, pretending to pay attention to the screen, while inside all he can think about is your hand and what you’re planning to do with it. The expectations excite him just as much as they scare him. All he wants is your body close to his, making you feel through his actions just how much he likes you, but he didn’t think you’d start something while surrounded by all your friends. It’s dark, only the movie lights up the room, and you’re on the far end on the couch where it would be hard for anyone to see you, but it’s still quite exposing. Someone could catch you, you don’t seem to care, and it excites him more than it should.

“I know what you’re doing,” you barely hear his whisper through all the noise.

“Is it working?” Your thumb slowly grazes his skin as he flexes his thigh muscles.

“I have probably minutes of self-control left, so we’ll see.” He backs his head away again and you turn to watch his reaction as your hand moves over his already semi hard cock. Only a few touches and he’s already halfway up. It fills you with pride to know how much of an effect you have on him. Big, strong, serious Mingyu, coming apart under your hand.

Your palm moves up and down his covered length slowly, feeling it getting harder under your touch. His reactions are so minimal that you only notice because you pay attention closely.

What you didn’t anticipate was his hand creeping up your thigh. Slowly, his fingers find their way inside the tiny shorts you put on, drawing circles on your inner thigh, nowhere near enough to your core but still sending waves of arousal through your whole body.

Half of the run time of the movie passes, but your touches stay over your clothes, teasing, barely grazing. You stop palming him the second his index fingers ghosts over your covered clit, your breath hitches and you’re too shocked to keep up your movements. As the seconds pass, Mingyu runs his fingers through your covered folds, feeling how wet you already are.

The movie’s suddenly silent, the main characters looking at each other in the eyes. It's probably a very important scene, but you only concentrate on not making any noise as Mingyu works you up under the blanket.

With your hand still motionless on Mingyu's cock, he stretches until his head reaches your ears when the scene changes and noise fills the room again.

“Let’s go to my room.” There’s no hesitation in his voice.

“You don’t wanna watch the ending?” You tease back. You don’t even know what happened in the movie this whole time.

“If I don’t have my fingers inside you in the next five minutes, I might go crazy.” His statement leaves your jaw hanging as he, contrary to what he just said, removes his hand from you.

“I’m sorry guys, gotta drive tomorrow,” Mingyu suddenly gets up and everyone's confused eyes are on him, “don’t wanna be up until too late.” And with those words, he’s out of the living room in no time.

Everyone's eyes, including Chan’s, go back to the screen, but you stay still. Should you follow after him right now? It’ll too suspicious, but do you really care?

You wait until the scene changes, as to not seem too obvious, and fake a loud yawn.

“Sorry guys I think I'm calling it a night,” every move you make, you make sure to do it slowly, to show how tired you are, “I don’t wanna fall asleep on the couch.”

As you take a few steps, Jihyun calls for you, “But it’s about to end!”

“Oh! I’ve already seen it it’s fine,” you lie as you face the hallway again, your back turned to Jihyun so your face doesn’t expose you.

You can hear her voice saying something like liar! You told you wanted to watch it! But you don’t turn back, because you can see Mingyu waiting by his door. He's about to speak but you run and smash your lips with his before he can utter a word.

Your bodies are so tangled together you stumble backwards, but luckily Mingyu manages to catch you before you fall and turns you both inside his room. With his hand pillowing your head, he pins you against the now closed door and you both laugh lightly at your clumsiness. But as soon as your eyes land on each other again, it’s like you’re both hypnotized because your mouths attach again like magnets.

His hair feels soft between your fingers, long enough for you to tug at it lightly. He groans against your mouth and now it’s your turn to smirk. That ignites something in him, because he presses you against the wall at the next tug you give him.

He’s everywhere. His thighs intertwined with yours, his firm chest against yours, one hand on your waist and the other on your neck.

The feeling of his lips is addicting, and now that you’ve finally tasted him you never want to go back. His mouth glides over yours with familiarity, like it’s something he's been doing for years, like he knows exactly how to get you head over heels for him.

You chase his lips as he steps back just a little, and you instantly miss the warmth of his body. The only light source in his room is the moonlight beaming though the window, but it’s enough to admire Mingyu’s messy hair and blood red lips. Your hands stay around his neck and his on your waist, neither of you wanting to stop touching the other.

A strand of hair blocks your view for a second before he brushes it back and tucks it behind your ear.”

“Did you mean all that?” Not his words, but his actions. Kissing you. Did it mean the same for him as it did for you?

“I've been wanting to do that for days,” his hand caresses the side of your face gently and you lean into his touch.

His lips are on your again without warning and you melt at his touch, giving in to him. His lips guide yours slowly, taking his time savoring you. Every move of his has a purpose, every deliberate touch makes you more needy for him.

He's in total control, caging your body against the door, pressing himself against you so you feel his almost fully hard dick against your upper thigh.

His mouth travels down to your neck and makes you gasp, leaving damp kisses on your sensitive skin. Your hands play with the hem of his black t-shirt, and you feel his smirk against your neck. His hands travel all around your body, from your neck to your back to your waist and your ass. You feel him everywhere every second and the heat inside you intensifies per second.

The only thing on your mind is having him. Your hands start lifting his shirt up, he smirks against your lips before separating briefly to take it off and slip his shoes off. You do the same.

You barely get a glimpse of his shirtless body before he’s on you again. Lips on lips, skin on skin, your insides pulsate with need feeling every muscle of his against you. His biceps tense under your touch when he picks you up by your thighs effortlessly.

Legs wrapped around his waist, Mingyu walks with you on his arms towards his bed. He makes sure to drop you softly before getting on top of you. His mouth finds your neck again as he lets you feel his hard bulge against your core. You grind against him, eliciting a moan out of the both of you, but it’s not enough.

With your legs still wrapped around his waist, you press him further against you. Even with the layers of clothes between you, his length grinds deliciously against you, the friction causing the heat inside you to fire up and the idea of having him inside releases a wave of arousal.

“Mingyu!” You intend to draw his attention, but he grinds against you again and it comes out like a moan. He hums against your skin and your fingers on his hair and back encourage him further. His hands roam your body until they reach your poorly clothed chest, but the lousy fabric doesn’t stop him from groping with excitement.

“Mingyu take off your pants.” You manage to grab his head to make him look at you, and he follows immediately.

You take your pants and bra off easily and prop on your elbows to admire him while he struggles to take his off. His frustration makes you chuckle, but his defined muscles distract you quickly. You saw him in just swim shorts days ago, you knew what to expect, but it still shocks you how broad his shoulders are, how his pecs flex at the tiniest movement. The size of his biceps are probably three times the size of yours.

When he finally throws his pants away, he aims to get on top of you again, but you think ahead. You move to the side, so he drops on the bed, and you get on top of his big thighs. The little fabric between you allows you to feel just how hard he is under you, hitting all the right places, making you moan while wetness gushes out of you.

Your hands travel slowly through his chest, fingers tracing his muscles, torturing him with your slow pace and making him squirm at your touch. His little sighs and whines are music to your ears, reaching the deepest parts inside you and ruining your panties more and more.

Proud of the effect you have on him, you grind softly and feel his hard twitch under you. But your fun doesn’t last. Mingyu grabs you by the neck and lowers your body until your faces are millimeters apart, keeping your hands from moving. He attempts to kiss you, but you grind on him again, causing him to moan in your mouth.

“You’re making me crazy,” his lips graze yours when he speaks, and you have to fight every internal scream telling you to kiss him back.

“Good.” You smirk as you shimmy down until your core is no longer sitting on top of his, leaving kisses down his neck while your hand travels down to palm him.

He sighs when your hand sneaks under his underwear to feel his now fully hard cock. Your hand barely wraps around him as you slide it up and down his length slowly, smearing the precum coming out from the tip.

Every little reaction Mingyu gives you encourages you to continue. Every moan when you squeeze harder, every whine when you pay attention to the tip, every sigh when you leave tiny bite marks around his clavicle, where no one else would be able to see them, but hopefully you.

Your wrist works hard as you notice Mingyu’s breath getting heavier and faster, and the fire inside you becomes impossible to ignore.

“Do you have a condom?” You ask as you slowly stop your movements. The ache between your legs keeps you from concentrating on anything else. If he wanted to, he could slide right in with how wet you are.

“Maybe,” the raise of his eyebrows tells you he’s up to no good and you look at him questioningly, “there’s something I gotta do first.” He slots between your legs with a smirk, hands on both sides of your waist and mouth getting closer to your ear.

“Gonna make you cum so hard you won’t even know your name.” His lips leave a trail of kisses below your ear to your mouth, and you sigh as he connects your lips once again. His hands go down and spread your thighs, taking his time grazing and groping everywhere between your inner thighs except for where you want him the most. You can only sigh and push him more against you, still in shock from his previous words.

One hand ghosts over your somehow still clothed core and you try to grind against it, but he moves it away with a chuckle.

“I need you,” you gasp when his hand presses against your pussy, fingers running up and down your lower lips and teases your whole through your panties, “please Gyu,” the nickname slips out of you with a moan.

“Whatever you want baby,” the not so accidental pet name goes straight to your core, too wet by now.

Mingyu starts a trail of kisses down your jaw to your boobs, paying especial attention to them while helping you out of your panties. You try to press against him, now fully naked, but he pins your hips down with force.

His head goes down leaving wet kisses on your skin and making you needier and needier until he reaches your pulsing core.

“You’re so wet already,” he kisses all around, teasing you endlessly as his hands pins you down so you don’t grind up to him, and his breath fans over your wet hole making you shiver, “so needy for me.”

“I swear if you don’t st-Fuuccck,” his tongue flattens on your core mid-sentence, slowly licking up and down, drowning any thought you might possibly have. He dives into you with no intend of stopping any time soon.

The dreamlike scenario of his head between your legs is in no way comparable to reality. He switches between swirling his tongue around your clit and teasing your entrance, drinking up all the juices you give him.

It's embarrassing how fast you’re getting to your orgasm with just a few minutes of him working you up. You tremble as he tortures your clit with his tongue once again, sucking on it lightly almost making you scream. You don’t care how loud you are, and he loves how you sound, how you moan uncontrollably because of him.

His hair is all disheveled because of your hands, tugging and pressing him closer to your core. He moans as he tastes you, sending vibrations through your whole body.

When you close your legs unconsciously around his head, he spreads you again with force, keeping you from shivering and adding newfound energy to tip you over the edge.

“Feels s-sso good Gyu oh my god,” his tongue teases your hole as his nose perfectly grazes your clit. Your mind is so numb you keep mumbling praises you can’t understand, the only thing you know is your orgasm is so close to snapping, you can almost see it, hear it, taste it.

You tremble in his hold, and he knows you’re close. Your hands on his hair keep him in place as you grind on his face, intensifying everything. He moans as you use him, and the vibrations finally make you snap.

Your legs tremble as his tongue licks you clean of the mix of saliva and your juices. It's when it becomes too much for you that you push his head back, and the sight leaves you more breathless than you already were. His chin is covered in your arousal and his lips are swollen from the work they’ve done.

His head stays on the lower side of your body, kissing your inner thighs as you recover. You can only watch him, his hands touching and massaging every part of your legs he can reach, his lips so close to your core, but teasing around where you’re starting to need him again.

“You look really pretty like this.” His words send shivers down your spine.

“So I usually don’t?” He halts his movements as you tease to look you in the eye but continues after he takes notice of the teasing tone.

“You are always pretty,” you throw your head back against the pillow at his words, “every second of every day,” the kisses on your inner thigh come closer and closer to your core, already gushing with need.

His lips ghost over your folds as he backs away just the tiniest bit to reveal his index finger moving towards his mouth. His eyes connect with yours as he licks his fingers, and the sight almost blocks your airways. You don’t want to stop watching but when his wet finger starts circling around your clit slowly, your eyes shut instinctively.

You feel him collecting your juices when he suddenly dips his finger into your hole. You moan at the intrusion but he’s quick to remove it and he’s back at circling around your wet clit.

He does the motion a few times, finger in then quickly out, circles around your covered clit with the freshly collected juices, and repeat.

“please" only a broken whisper leaves your mouth as your hand stops his movements. Your eyes connect with Mingyu’s after what feels like hours of teasing, and you can see a little smirk forming before following your needs.

His two fingers enter you slowly, letting you feel everything until he’s knuckle deep inside you. You’re so wet and needy from the foreplay that they just slide in.

He stretches your velvety walls perfectly, with a pace hard and deep that has you moaning uncontrollably.

When he finds that perfect spot that has you seeing stars, your hand jolts down to keep his in place and his fingers start abusing your gspot mercilessly. You almost scream when he adds a third finger inside you, squelching sounds filling the rooms with your moans as you get closer and closer to another orgasm.

Your walls begin to spasm around his fingers, and he knows you’re close. With your hand freeing his, he thrusts sharper into you, even if your walls close hard around them pushing them out.

All 5 senses explode within you when you feel his tongue toying with your clit again and your second orgasm hits powerfully. His hands help keep you in place as he maintains his movements, prolonging the orgasm as he pleases.

He licks his fingers clean as he climbs on top of you again. Your haze connects with his and you can’t look away as he removes his digits from his mouth and directs them to yours. Almost robotically, you open your mouth to welcome them and lick them clean without breaking eye contact. The mix of your juices and his saliva spike something within you. Your gaze turns to fire as you grab Mingyu by the neck and pull him towards you. Your lips connect with his fingers in between, both of you licking then clean as the same time. Your tongue plays with his fingers, finding his tongue doing the same and intertwining.

Entranced by you, Mingyu backs away once more and can only watch as you lick his fingers like it was his cock. Your eyes still meet his as you swirl your tongue around and eventually stop with a pop.

The speed of light doesn’t compare to how fast Mingyu crashes his lips with yours again. He grabs you by the waist and flips you both so now his back is against the headboard and you're sitting on top of him. His lips guide yours lazily as his hands travel around your naked back, and when you moan when he grinds up to you, he has to stop before he cums in his pants.

You’re still recovering from the earth-shattering orgasm he gave you to speak, and he just looks at you with a little smile growing on his face. He pecks you sweetly, but when you don’t respond he worries.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay,” you chuckle as you feel your face turning pink, “you were kind of a beast down there, I need a second.”

“I could do that every day if you let me,” he sounds way too enthusiastic as he begins a trail of wet kisses on your neck. A moan escapes you when his hands find your breasts and your wetness uncomfortably starts to stain his boxers below you.

“Take these off.” You grab the waistline of his boxers to draw Mingyu's attention away from your neck and it works. He slips them off at the speed of light and your back on top of him.

Your wet folds finally come in contact with his cock and you both moan at the feeling. With his hands on your waist, he aims to kiss you, but you surprise him by grinding on him and he moans on your mouth, your lips barely touching. His veiny cock grazes against your clit deliciously, clouding any coherent thought you may have. Mingyu’s just aa gone as you are, with his hands playing with your boobs and your juices wetting his entire cock, he might just be in heaven.

“I’ll cum If you keep going like that,” Mingyu has half the mind to speak up, it’s a warning, but you take it as a challenge.

“What if that’s what I want?” You wrap your arms around his neck as best as you can as you slowly keep grinding on him, trying to hide the fact that it has as much of an effect on you as it does on him, maybe even more.

“Hmm I don’t think that’s what you want.” His left-hand sneaks between your bodies as the other plays with your nipple and you halt your movements. His fingers quickly find your clit and press on it with a little force, making you gasp.

“You can have anything you want, if you just ask.” His hands pleasuring you everywhere simultaneously blur your mind, you can’t find it in you to form a coherent sentence, so you resume your grinding. It's so slow you can feel every drag against you, every vein against your wet folds, his tip perfectly against your clit. You want nothing more than to feel him inside you, stretching you until your walls are shaped like him.

“Need you inside,” your words come out more of a gasp than anything, “please.”

Mingyu’s hands stray away from your body, quickly reaching the small packet that was waiting on his nightstand and rips it open as you move away from his cock to give him some space. He rolls the condom on swiftly and you stop yourself from jumping on him.

His hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders to stabilize you, you slowly sink on his length. Yours and Mingyu’s moans synchronize as his cock stretches your walls, filling you up until you feel him on your throat.

When you completely sink down on him, he reaches so deep you almost have trouble breathing, reaching places you’re just now discovering. You stay still as your gummy walls hugging his length tightly, trying to get used to the new stretch. Sensing your hesitation to move, Mingyu kisses you softly, melting into the other’s touch. Your arms wrap themselves around his neck for the millionth time today, like they’re meant to be there until the end of time, and the slight movement causes Mingyu to shift inside you.

His lips muffle your moans as one of his hands sneak back down to stimulate your clit once again. His fingers draw circles on your covered clit, you can feel your arousal dripping onto him, and little by little, the stretch stops stinging, the feeling replaced by want and need.

Using his body to support you, you lift your hips slowly. His low groans fill your ears as every vein drags inside of you deliciously.

Without warning, you sit back with force, getting a moan out of the both of you. His lust filled eyes watch you in awe as his hands grab your ass while you’re repeating the motion. The addictive hitting of his cock inside you almost makes you not notice how tired you’re getting.

Mingyu stops you once you sink down again, embracing you with his arms and pulling you towards him. Your chests are flushed together again as he kisses you deeply, his tongue quickly encountering yours, and he flips you over.

Your back hits the mattress and he's between your legs again. He begins a slow pace, thrusting into you until his pelvis barely touches your swollen clit and then almost all the way out. The pace continues to be torturous until he finds the spot he’s been looking for and you almost scream, egging him on to hit it again and again and again.

With force, every thrust of his hips has you seeing stars. You can’t control your noises any longer, even mumbling a few phrases you can’t quite decipher, but that Mingyu seems to like.

The bed squeaks and hits the wall repeatedly but neither of you care. With your legs wrapped around his waist and your nails digging on his back, you can only think about the tight knot on your lower stomach about to burst.

His face is so close to yours, but neither of you have the mind to do anything other than moan in each other's mouths. Any sound you make, he replicates, blessing your ears and sending waves of pleasure to your already so close body.

Your walls are tightening so hard that Mingyu has trouble keeping up his fast pace, but after telling him how close you are, he starts pounding on you so hard you have to hug him so stay in place. Caged between your arms and legs, Mingyu’s body is glued to yours, his hot skin burning him on you as he shakes your insides and blurs your brain.

“y-you’re so t-tight, pleasse tell me you’re cl-close,” his words barely register on your mind and your brain can’t work out a response, but he makes sure you hear him by putting his mouth next to your ear, but never stopping pounding into you, “are you fucked dumb already?”

His words shoot straight to your core, pulsing tight around him. Mingyu tries to muffle a moan by chuckling, but you already know the effect you have on him.

“s-so close Gyu, wish you-” you clench around him around him as you say, “wish you could come inside.”

Mingyu’s hips stutter at your words, and he has to slow down his pace to not cum right that second, but doesn’t miss the chance to play your little game, “you’d like that wouldn’t you? Me filling you up until you’re so full you start dripping?” His lips leave a trail of goosebumps below your ear, giving you a few kissed around your neck before going back up to look you in the eyes as he continues his tortuously slow thrusts.

“Yes yes I want it so bad,” you have no idea if what you’re saying makes any sense, but the smirk Mingyu shows is worth it.

“You wouldn’t waste a single drop right?” his thrust become hard and pointed after you nod eagerly, hitting your gspot with force after every word that leaves his mouth, “I'd stuff it back into you, and you’d be a good girl and keep it in.”

The pet name combined with the sharp thrusts send you over the edge embarrassingly fast. Without warning, you’re cumming on Mingyu’s cock, moaning all kinds of nonsense, squeezing him so tight it’s hard for him to delay his own orgasm. His thrusts don’t stop, stretching you orgasm and chasing his, and in no time, you feel his dick twitch inside you as his hips stutter with a moan.

He stills inside you, body draped over yours as you both recover. You're so tired your eyes start closing on their own, but Mingyu sliding out of you wakes you up instantly, triggering a quiet moan out of your throat.

You don’t want him to leave, and he catches your worried eyes as he gets up, “I’m going to grab a towel to clean up, I'll be right back,” he reassures you with a soft hand on your thigh.

After he hands you a clean towel, he gets ack to the bathroom to clean himself up. Alone in his bedroom and all cleaned up, you scan around after grabbing his big t-shirt to wear. It's obvious this is the room he uses in their frequent family visits, judging by the framed photos and the few posters on the walls. Even with only the bedside table lamp on, except the clothes recently scattered around the floor, you can see you clean and tidy the room is, his clothes are packed neatly, only a few items still on his desk.

“That looks nice on you,” Mingyu’s voice startles you, and you find him watching you from the bathroom door.

“Thanks, it’s some guys’, you probably don’t know him.” He chuckles, walking towards the bed as you tuck yourself in.

“And who is this mystery guy?” Mingyu asks as he get in bed behind you, embracing you in his arms with your back against his chest.

“It’s this guy who’s totally head over heels for me,” you turn around in his arms to find him smiling, “and I really like him too.” His eye wrinkles appear as his smile widens, but you don’t notice as you’re too shy to look at him again after your confession.

“He’s really lucky then.” Mingyu, aware of your shyness, grabs your chin and makes you look at him, “do you really?” The question freezes you in place as lock his serious gaze. He’s dying of nervousness inside, worrying about you, and him, and the two of you.

“Yes,” your voice comes out small and careful, but it relaxes him, “I really do like you Mingyu.”

No words can describe the burst of emotions Mingyu feels as those words leave your mouth. He can only hug you tighter and aim to kiss you, but you turn your head away laughing.

“Hey hey hey! What about you! I’m not letting you anywhere near me until you give me an honest reply!” You find yourself play fighting with this giant man for like three seconds before he pins you down.

“Funny thing to say while you’re in my bed, wearing my shirt,” your hands are trapped by his on both sides on your head, he’s all you can see, and you have no choice but to look him in the eyes. “I know I should’ve said it before, but I really like you too, I’m most comfortable when I’m with you, I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t want this to be a quick fling between us.”

His confession has your stomach doing flips and turns, your blood rushing to your cheeks and ears, and your smile to wide it almost hurts. “That's what I wanted to hear.”

DAY SEVEN

Mingyu’s arms now rank first as your favorite place to sleep ever.

After making each other repeat their confessions multiple times – mostly you, but he found he loves the way you blush every time you say you like him – and kissing lazily while wrapped around one another, time flashed by and sleepiness got to the both of you.

The culprit of waking you up from your dream forcefully is Mingyu’s damn alarm, ringing and ringing somewhere in his room. You turn a couple of times, trying to locate his phone without getting up, but it’s pointless.

“Mingyuuuu your phone,” your voice echoes alongside the annoying alarm as you try to wake him up.

“Hmm sorry,” his raspy voice barely reaches you as he gets up and grabs his phone from the pocket of his pants laying on the floor.

He quickly gets back under the covers, wrapping his arms around you and snuggling against you, both of you too awake by now to get back to sleep.

Your eyes are closed, but you can feel his chest rising and falling behind you and his hand caresses your waist through his t-shirt. You lay your hand over his as he kisses your neck softly.

“Good morning beautiful.” You’re too trapped in his embrace to turn around and face him, but you get to hide the blush that creeps up your cheeks at his words.

“Good morning.” Being wrapped around Mingyu’s warmth is addicting, his touch, his smell, his skin. How did you live all these years without them? “Should we get up? Everyone is probably awake by now.” You really don’t want to, but sadly you can’t stay here forever.

“We will, we will,” his hands wander lower and lower on your body, contradicting his words, until they reach the hem of your his shirt and sneak inside to caress your bare skin as he keeps kissing your neck, “are you not wearing-”

The sentence is left unfinished, his state of shock loosens his hug and you’re able to turn in his embrace, cocky smile on your face as he tries to figure you out.

“Oh, I must’ve forgot!” Mingyu joins you in a chuckle, hugging you tightly again and bringing your face towards him. Lazily kissing him, with your limbs intertwined and a little morning sleepiness, everything makes you so dizzy, already needy for him.

His tongue breaches into your mouth, messily dancing with yours as his hand pushes your shirt up and sneak to your core.

You don’t stay still. With your hands you touch and grope every spot of his torso you can reach, earning a few sighs from him, and you slowly start grinding on his hand, coating his curious fingers with your arousal.

Mingyu moans in your mouth when your hand catches his growing bulge, trying to be as quiet as possible in case anyone awake wanders your way.

“You’re gonna be de death of me.” His raspy whisper shoots straight to your core, but you can’t give him a proper reply, his lips go back to yours to shut you up as his fingers run through your wet folds.

Both of your hands work wonders on the other, your hand sneaks under his boxers to stroke him properly while he toys with your clit. It’s getting more and more difficult to quiet down the sounds coming from your mouths, your mind barely able to remember that task as the fire inside you stomach arises.

A knock on the door freezes you both in place. You stop breathing, locking eyes with Mingyu, waiting for the unannounced person to speak up. He looks as scared as you probably are as you both wait.

Another knock makes you get away from one another, and the ruffling sounds draw the attention of the one outside the door.

“Are you awake bro?” Chan asks through the door, luckily not opening it. Your eyes emanate panic as you evaluate every possible outcome for this interaction, but Mingyu motions for you to calm down.

“Hmm yeah, what do you need?” He pretends to just wake up, feigning a loud yawn.

“You know where y/n is? She’s not in her room and Jihyun’s looking for her.” Now Mingyu panics too, trying to come up with any excuse, no matter how lame.

“I don’t know bro, maybe she’s in the bathroom.” Definitely the lamest excuse ever, but it seems to work on Chan.

“Right, right, I’ll tell her that, but get up bro! We’re leaving in like an hour!”

“Okay! I’ll be right out.”

You both stay still, listening as his steps get farther and farther until there’s silence again.

“We really should tell him about us, he won’t be mad.” He sounds serious as he picks up your clothes from the floor.

“Take me out on a date first!” You snatch your clothes from his hands as you both chuckle. How would a date with Mingyu go? Outside of this bubble you created, everything could be different, but the change excites you.

The drive back to the city is full of laughter and songs, just like the first day. This time Chan managed to get on the passenger’s seat first, leaving you sitting next to Jihyun’s curious eyes and separating you from Mingyu.

You feel much better than on the first day. Relaxed, with less weight in your shoulders, and a really hot man making eyes at you through the rear view mirror.

Mingyu leaves Chan and Jihyun at his house first, saying it’s more practical to drop them off first and then you. None of them argue about it, and Jihyun throws a wink your way as you get on the passenger’s seat.

“You know, yesterday Jihyun asked me about us, she says everyone’s suspicious.” You mention when he parks in front of your building.

“That’s funny, cause Chan asked me today too, he intercepted me as soon as I got to the kitchen.” He replies and gets out of the car, leaving you hanging for a few seconds before opening your door.

“Really?” Mingyu’s grabbing your bags while you’re dying of curiosity behind him. “And what did you say?”

He chuckles as you walk towards your building, car locked and your bags still in his hands. He only answers once you get to the elevator.

“I told him… that I really like you.” A smile cracks wide on your face. You’ll get tired of him saying that.

“And did he seem okay with it?” You quickly reach your floor and head to your door, anxiety creeping up on you at the thought of Mingyu being inside your apartment.

“Yeah! He even seemed kind of happy,” you stand by your door just watching him expectantly and he seems confused by your stillness, “are we coming in?”

“Oh yeah just, it’s a little messy I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting to have guests you know.” You turn your door handle slowly, waiting for him to nod before fully opening it.

You walk in slowly, watching his every move and reaction as he steps behind you. He gives it a quick look around before crouching to leave your bags on the floor and walking towards you.

“I like your place, it’s so… you.” His arms wrap softly around your waist, and yours instinctively around his neck.

“How do you know? We’ve know each other for like seven days.” You’re not strangers, you told him stuff you’d never tell anyone else, but you've also known him for a very short amount of time.

“I just know.” The sweet smile he give you melts you in place, if it weren’t for his arms surrounding you, you’d probably fall onto the floor. “And I really want to make that time longer, I meant it when I said forever.”

And he proved to you, time and time again during those seven days, that his words are always true. You have no reason not to trust him, and you always will.

i really hope you liked this >.< share your thought!

taglist: @gaslysainz @soffiyuhh @oneandonlyluvv @gyuwoosbabie sorry for the wait

#mingyu au #mingyu smut #seventeen au #seventeen smut #svt smut #kim mingyu smut #kim mingyu au

[jakesangel]

jake helping you w heavy periods -requested

heavy periods isn't something funny. cramp pains on the lower side of your belly, so heavy they will even spread to your lower back and thighs. on the worst days, the discomfort even interferes in daily activities. but since dating jake he wouldnt leave you alone in this : being with jake, means being supported 100% at all times. at first he didn't get it tho : seeing you suddenly in pain and in some kind of mood he wasn't used to it, he would freaked out, thinking your mad at him. are you okay, baby ? did i do something wrong ? he'd pout to you, not understanding at first on your sudden change. after explaining him you current condition, he'd be relived to know you aren't mad at him but he'll still be sad to be helpless. he would be extra cuddly, rubbing your skin where he thinks would help you, or kissing those places. he would also be more soft on you, understanding that your mood swings are coming from your hormones n you are'nt purely mad at him

after that jake would never be unprepared again. he had bought heat pack for you lower body pains, snacks, pads or tampon of different size, n kept all of those in a designed place for you in his bedroom. jake would never leave his angel in pain alone, so either you're at his dorm or your own place, he will come to you w those product to help. you also don't need him to tell him when you get your periods, as he would track them thanks to phone apps. he won't tell you tho, he will just be extra caring on those days, leaving you comforting and supportive text messages and bringing you your favorite food and snacks on those days. he would even buy you a special plushie, he'd ask you to hug when he isn't there for you, dressing it w your fav shirt of his and spraying his perfume on it.

but one the days he is finishes his schedule earlier, he will come to you, without forgetting to bring the products he bought especially for those days. he would text you before coming over , telling you that he will use the emergency keys of your apartment. once arrived, he will super soft for you : he would become your legs and your arms, holding you in his arm, bridal style, because you are his princess, if you need to go to the toilet. he wouldn't hold you without making you laugh, dramatically playing like a knight, trying to make you forget about your current pain. i'm afraid that won't be possible, princess y/n, he'd say taking your body in his, me as your knight in armor, wouldn't less such princess use her feet in such situation, he would add, taking you to your bathroom. he would also make sure to keep the heat pack, warm on your body and his hands soothing your lower back, soothing you.

if your cramps are terrible, he would pout at your sight, feeling helpless is an awful feeling form him specially where youre the one in need of help. he will remain by your side tho, actively looking for pills against periods pains n would bring them along your snacks. he would then kiss you as a reward to be this strong for taking the médecine but also enduring this pain every month. you're so strong baby, i could never do it, hed say kissing your temple. or if your mood isn't the best, he will endure them and not make you feel invalid. oh baby why are you crying, he'd hold your face w both of his hands holding your cheeks, the movie is this munch for you right now, no ? he would then add, swiping away your tears. lets put something less emotional, m'okay baby ?, he'd finish, softly kissing you, adorationn spreading out of his body.

notes : hai anon here is ur request >< i wasnt so sure of what you wanted so i tried to stay general, tho i hope it still pleases you >< please lemme kno in the inbox !! i also hope youre done w ur periods <3

@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @stwrjvke @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey

#enhablr #jake sim #sim jaeyun #jake soft hours #sim jake #sim jaeyun fluff #sim jake fluff #jake sim x reader #jake fluff #jake x reader #jake headcanons #enhypen jake fluff #jaeyun imagines #jaeyun fluff

[blerb-f1]

"Lost" - Charles Leclerc x fem!reader

Charles celebrates too hard and gets lost. More news at 6

Find more on my masterlist!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sir?”

“Sir!”

“Wah?”

Charles awoke as he felt his shoulder getting ruffled, eyes dry and hurting. His throat was dry.

“Sir, please get up. This train is finished cleaning, you have to leave”

‘Train?’, he wondered in confusion. Hadn't he just been celebrating his win in Monaco? He took a look at the person shaking him. She was a train attendant, pretty looking he might add. Her uniform was not flattering the least. A light blue t-shirt with a dark blue vest thrown over it. Her accent was german. He attempted to get out of his seat but stumbled, bad leg control.

She supported his shoulder. 

“Where am I?”

“Far off from any kind of civilisation you'd normally travel to, based on that watch on your arm” the attended reported. “The middle of nowhere, in Germany.”

Charles held his head. “I don't remember getting on this train at all.”

She looked at him with a lifted eyebrow. “Well, you had all the necessary tickets for your journey. Must have gotten them from somewhere.”

Together they walked outside of the train. The train station was small, one white painted building. Only two tracks, lot's off trees.

“Have you got anywhere to go to?”

Charles looked at her, thinking. Fumbling around his pocket resulted in nothing, his phone and wallet were gone. Shit.

“Apparently not. Let's just get going. You can stay the night with me, I've got space.”

“Can't I just take this train back to where I'm from?” Charles asked her in desperation.

“Good Joke, truly. This train runs every two hours during the day. And then you'd have to take more trains, none of which usually run in the night as well. Also, I've had a long day of work. I'm really, really beat up.”

Charles sighed. ‘What did I just get myself into? The people saying to not mix uppers and downers were right…’

She led him to her Car, a little silver Hyundai. Throwing her backpack in and settling into the driver's seat, she sighed in relief. “Finally done.”

“Done?”

“I've got the weekend off. Your arrival kinda ruined it but we gotta take the things as they come. I'm Y/N L/N. You?”

“Charles Leclerc”

“That sounds French”

“Monegasque”

“What? I don't know that word”

“I'm from Monaco!”

She looked at him in surprise.  “Now you're pulling my leg. You got here from MONACO? You must have taken like 10+ trains!”

“Urgs, not so loud. My head hurts”

“God.” She groaned as she inserted the car key, starting the little engine. “Move your hand”

“Huh?”

“Either you move your hand or you loosen the handbrake. I can't get it with you spreading over there”

Charles quickly lifted his arms in the air. “Isn't it Electric?”

She just looked at him exasperated. “Do I look like I'm shitting money? I can't afford a car that new. Unless you'd wanna pay one Mr. Money Bag over there.”

“Oi, that's rude”

“You're from Monaco, don't y'all bath in money and champagne? Now, let's just get going.”

The car ride was silent with Charles looking out of the windows. This really was the countryside. Trees, fields, cows and horses. Lots of half-timbered houses.

After half an hour of journey, with them passing over roads he'd never even classify as those, considering the many holes and breaks they finally reached a large property. A large half timbered house with a similar looking barn and a long building houses garages presented itself to him. She parked the Hyundai in one of the Garages, the smaller one to be exact, and stepped outside.

Charles followed her as she unlocked the front door, revealing a house with small-ish rooms with low height walls painted weight. The most color each room spotted was oak- all the furniture and floor were oak. He had never been in a house like this before.

“Stair up, the left room is the bathroom. Soap's there, go shower. I'll put clean clothes and towels in front of the door for you.”

“Shower?” 

“Sorry …Charlie. You stink. Long journey and all”

“Ah, I'm so sorry! I'll go shower immediately!”

Charles stepped into the bathroom, throwing his clothes on the ground. The second they left his body he noticed the less than stellar stench of sweat, alcohol and weed stuck on them. The water hitting his skin felt heavenly, scrubbing off layers of grime and dirt he never thought could amass so quickly. The water was different, as well. It didn't smell of chlorine as much, more like iron instead. Nonetheless, only after the shower did he realize what a stinky guy he had become. The clothes laid in front of the door were oversized on him. Some red, used polo shirt and cargo pants with frayed edges awaited him. Downstairs in the Kitchen, Y/N had changed into casual wear, foot already served on the table. Charles settled into the chair, staring at the provided meal. “What, you’re not hungry?” she asked him, tauntingly. “I don’t know how to eat this” he had to state.

“Look”, she said. The table was covered in two plates, each having a solid kind of bun laid on it and a pot with sausages swimming around. She took her knife, cutting a slit into the Bun. “Take the Brötchen-”, she then grabbed a fork and fished out a sausage, putting it into the ‘Brötchen’, “then put the sausage in there. "That's it.”

“Nothing else?” Charles asked, pretty confused.

“Yeah, simple meal you know. "Nothing fancy.”

“Hm.”

They ate silently, with Charles being confused at how hard that Brötchen was. He slept in the living room that night. The house didn’t have blinds but there were no street lights to keep him awake. Instead pure silence, something he never encountered anywhere. It was almost blissful - until the sun woke him up at 6AM and the birds were singing really loudly. He heard a loud mechanical noise and a cupboard clinking, then Y/N appeared in the doorway, offering a mug. “Coffee.”

The cup of coffee was hot, very nice.

“We’ll go to the electronics store to get you a phone, so that you can get your stuff in order. I can’t get you onto a plane without documents.”

“Aight.”

“Are we there soon?”

“Sorry mate, nothing’s close by.”

Driving to the electronic store took over half an hour and as they finally arrived, no grand palace was awaiting him. It was a dinky old little store, the bottom floor housing washing machines, fridges and vacuums. The upstairs was mostly TVs and DVDs, the phones tucked into the corner. Charles approached the few iPhones they had there, playing around with them.

“Dude, pick something cheaper”

"Why?" I’d just buy something that lasts.”

Y/N looked at him in annoyance. “I don’t know when you’ll be able to pay me back. That stupid phone is like a third of my monthly income. I can’t afford that.”

“A third?”, he asked in shock.

“Yeah, train attendants don’t earn much. Tickets want to be cheap right? Also…” she added. “We gotta get you a limited plan. Since you don’t have an ID, I have to be the owner. We should get a monthly one so that i can cancel it later.”

He simply agreed, settling on one heck of a cheap phone.

“Finally.” he sighed, installing his social media apps and creating a new WhatsApp profile. Contact to the outside world could be established.

“I need to call my team.”

“Please do, i bet they’re worried sick”

Charles leaned against the door as Y/N settled inside, as he heard the familiar call beep. Then, a voice he hadn’t heard in a while returned from the speaker.

“Who’s there?”, asked his friend, Andrea Ferrari.

“It’s me, Charles!”

"Charles?!" Where the fuck have you been ? We were so worried about you!”

“So fun story, i apparently took multiple trains and am now somewhere randomly in Germany. And I lost my wallet along with my phone.”

“Somewhere in Germany and no identification… Can you rent a car?”

“No, since I obviously have no ID, right?”

"Ah, shit. How’d you get a phone?”

“A train attendant took me in and bought it, but she can’t really afford more than that.”

Andrea seemed to think for a moment. “What if we send her money and she drives you back?”

“That sounds like a moronic, stupid journey…”

Shortly afterwards, Y/N made large eyes as insane amounts of cash appeared on her bank account. She didn’t believe that Charles actually was rich, especially not that he was an F1 Driver. For Ferrari as well! The Michael Schumacher Ferrari! She was quick to convince however, as a paid vacation like that sounded like a nice idea. They headed to the car dealership which also rented cars.

“Hyundai, again?” Charles complained.

Y/N just stared at him. “I know a guy there, the only spot where they won’t scam you.”

She had picked a car that looked quite similar to hers, just a bit longer with more horsepower. “I don’t like driving big cars. Want some power for the Autobahn though.” Charles whined in Response:” Can’t I drive? Pretty please? I haven't driven a car in a while~”

“Do you currently have a physical license?”

“No”

“Then shut up. I'd lose my license if we were to get caught. My car takes me to work, no options without”

He wanted to pout in response but that had quickly become not an option. The drive was sheer madness. Y/N was running on hopes and energy drinks, pushing the little car to its limit. Charles was gripping every piece of interieur he physically could as she drove at max speed for every stretch she could. Google had estimated the journey to take 13 hours, she shaved off 2 of them. He made a note of never saying that women were the calmer drivers. Blasting loud techno music that turned into a monotonous drone combined with the engine screaming as German countryside flew past him, only interrupted by gas station breaks.

Sweet, sweet silence they proved to be. A heaven of calm, shoved tightly between what most likely was an out-of-body experience.

Then, silence, white doves and heavenly goodness stopped: the return of techno. Y/N throwing the Car around Italy’s shit roads, ignoring all laws of traffic ever created. One goal in Mind: Maranello.

With the crack of dawn and the first worker’s arriving to open the doors, they saw something they had never seen in their long career. A crazed car coming to a full stop, brakes glowing hot directly in front of them. Passenger side flung open and their golden treasure stepping out. Il Predestino had returned, he had risen from the dead. 

And was vomiting against a tree.

“Aren’t you F1 Drivers supposed to be tough or something?”

Charles tiredly leaned against said tree, face free of blood. “We’re tough but not tough like that. I can survive a long ass GP but not 11 hours of insanity”

The crazed driver laughed, her whole body shaking. She approached him, forcefully shaking his hand. “It was nice to get to know you, big boy. I want to go to sleep now, hit me up if you want to visit Germany again.” Y/N shoved a slip of paper between his tightly pressed fingers and walked off as an employee showed her the way. She was to stay somewhere close by as some NDAstuff needed to be handled now.

On the other side, more people were approaching. Charles' friends, the team and the media. Maybe Germany was actually a nice spot to vacation in. Without all the circus going on here. When was the winter break again?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I pinky promise that i WILL continue this since i wrote it for my friend acexf1 over on YouTube. It's more set-up than anything rn. My other stuff is also getting continuations now!

#f1 x reader #blerb writes #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you

[soracities]

I'm 35, and I feel like I wasted my 20s in grad school, working on a PhD I never finished. The last six months of my life have been horrible, but in the last year I started taking testosterone, and moved back to a major city. Some days I feel like my 30s are much worse than my 20s ever were; I feel trapped, bored, and unable to do basic self-care tasks like feeding myself. Other days I feel like it's going to be okay. Today I feel like it could kind of go either way, but I try to work on little projects much of the time—drawing, writing essays and my novel—and that can help me want to keep trying.

i know so many people who started PhDs they didn't finish and one of my closest friends is now living her best life because of it. I think these worst periods are very much a case of "can't see the wood for the trees" sometimes because you are right in the thick of those trees and working your way through them. but you get glimmers, now and then, of how far you've come, even in just one aspect and i hope bit by bit more days of feeling it will all be okay come to you and when they do i hope you get so much comfort and assurance out of them anon. i'm so happy you took those big steps for yourself anon and I'm so SO happy you have your anchors in your projects (!) and i hope you continue to find solace in them, truly i do!! whatever this period adds up to in your future, i hope it is as wide and welcoming as you deserve 💗

#ask #Anonymous #the road is long and we have time

[sixhours]

hello my lovely ❤

would you ever consider writing for either din or ezra?

what about both din and ezra do you love?

any din or ezra recs? 😍

Hello hello! <3

👀 I miiiiiiiiight be writing a Joel/Ezra Jackson-era fic right now, so yes! Finding Ezra's voice is a challenge at the moment, hopefully I'll do it justice. 😬

I'm hesitant about writing for Din because I'm not a Star Wars fan, I'm a Mando fan. That universe is vast and I would want to do a lot of research and the research intimidates me. But I'll never say never...

And Din and Ezra share a lot of commonalities with Joel. Unwitting adoptive fathers, tough-guy exterior, lone (space)cowboy figures with traumatic backstories (I know Ezra doesn't technically have a canon backstory but losing an arm counts as trauma, right?)

Oops, it appears I have a Type. 😁

And HELL YES I have recs. I feel like most of these are pretty popular in the fandom and therefore known to everyone already, but what the hey:

The Paklalat series by @marisferasiop, a Din/Ezra/Reader throuple fic that perfectly balances steamy and sweet.

And The Jackson Polycule series also by @marisferasiop, an Ezra/Joel/Reader fic that, again, balances the spicy with the sweet.

The Adversity series by @the-ginger-hedge-witch, Ezra/Frankie/Reader western AU (what is it about Ezra that makes us think throuple? I definitely get the sense he's game...) that's so flippin' hot.

Lift a Sail by @autumnwoodsdreamer, an alternative canon for Din that makes so much more sense than S3 and prominently features characters from other SW series.

And Take Me to Church by someone named @frannyzooey? ;) Hot, hot, hot western AU Din/Reader.

Short Debts Make Long Friends by @wrathkitty, a hilarious take on Din and a Reader who finds herself suddenly immersed in the Mando universe after having watched the series.

The Cassandra Complex by @netherfeildren, one of my favorite Din/OC fics where the OC is a former Sith with lots of angst and spice.

A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop by @oonajaeadira, the Ezra/Reader Bookshop AU of my dreams.

Love Within Solitude by an unknown author (if anyone knows where they went, their AO3 account is orphaned), an Ezra/Reader enemies-to-lovers fic where the reader is an environmentalist and Ezra visits her planet to prospect for resources.

And finally, I just finished Vol. 1 of @hapan-in-exile, a slow-burn Din/Reader fic that's hitting all the right notes.

#fic recs #prospect #the mandalorian #din djarin #ezra prospect

[wigglebox]

'he said now it [15x18] doesn't need to be addressed'

that's not what jackles said. that's like, a smallllll snippet of the entire thing. he essentially, in my opinion, said the Testament aka cas' Declaration and proof of love [i find it interesting he corrects himself from confession to testament by the way when we all call it the confession, he calls it a testament, which is astoundingly amazing] stands as it is, and that their love for each other is going to basically be understood when they're reunited. They don't need to have a sit-down chat or long-winded therapy discussion about their feelings.

We, the audience, also know where they both stand with each other. This concept that they'll get Cas back and he won't know that Dean loves him back is astounding to me. Jackles is saying essentially that they're each other's people, that they found each other, that they keep finding each other, and that when they reunite, both of their feelings will be understood.

And that dean understands. When they reunite, it will be understood that dean understands. He didn't say there wasn't going to be reciprocation, just that Cas' words don't need resolving.

Aka, what's changed from previous answers he's given? From "let's talk about that goodbye" to now? I'm being mostly serious when i say, i think they've outlined that scene or have a rough outline on how that scene is going to go and he's trying to give an answer without giving away the store lol.

I say this because this was a pretty detailed answer, in my opinion, and him calling Cas' words a testament instead of 'the confession' also makes me think there have been some conversations.

i know that assumption is wildly speculative because who knows where they are in the continuation process behind these scenes but given the fact that it's actually quite useless to even have a continuation unless they follow up the destiel arc and finish up that storyline, i do think it's been top of mind for everyone involved. Yes, including jackles. Don't even get me started on him correcting that fan who shouted subtext with text.

he was being thoughtful in his answer and trying to find the right words, in my opinion.

The half-jokey way I'm going to end this is: Dean is gonna run up to him and give him a big ol' hug n' smooch.

Joking... but also not joking at all haha.

But Dean's also a man of action and his love can be seen through those actions and if a man is going to hope universes and try to potentially jailbreak into The Empty to get me (if that's what they wind up doing which I thnk they are) that's love in my opinion as well. He's done that also twice in Purgaytory, ignoring an easy way out until he found Cas, putting his own well-being at risk, and also ignored a time limit and risked getting trapped in there because he couldn't find Cas so...

Suffice it to say, I also think in general, you just gotta give the man some faith and just see what happens.*

(*but also, it'll never be 100% how we wrote fics or speculated in our head, nor should it be; storytelling is an art and science, and you can predict some things, but you have to also go with the flow with others).

There's absolutely no hard concrete evidence anywhere that 15x18 won't have a follow-up in continuation, and no, Jackle's purcon answer doesn't fall under that either. in my opinion.

#im rambling #i started this on sunday but decided to revisit it now bc I'm avoiding work stuff and how hungry i am and that i forgot #to bring a second breakfast with me and they're out of muffins in the break room #spn meta #ish? #i guess? #idk #continuation spec

[k-s-morgan]

TGSTLTH related

Ok so I decided to do it here cuz I don't know will AO3 allow me to write essay hahahahah 😂😂😂

I don't even know how to start this. I've been reading fics for 13 years straight, like I don't remember the period of my life where I didn't read them cuz I always have some ship active and I'm crazy BL fan. Only a small number of them can make me crazy to the point I don't wanna sleep, eat, skipping my obligations, killing the pain and your sebaciel did everything. I haven't felt like this reading fic..,maybe ever? This is totally another level of me being fascinated by some writer.

I adore sebaciel, I'm in fandom since 2016 but the biggest problem I had with their fics is that - either people go too much OOC with them orr they rush up the things between them, going quickly with sex and feelings. It bothered me so much so I was crawling for good SC fics as crazy!!

After some break with SC, I came back to ao3 and saw your long fic. I started reading it but I dropped it after 3 chapters, I got bored cuz I thought you are gonna just re-type manga and do classic thing which another people do. Quickly, I got disappointed with another one and idk how but I decided to give your fic one more chance and dear lord......that was one of the best thing I have ever read. Maybe even the best.

Like, how smart are you? What's your IQ? Your manage to explain me some things about Kuro plot which I haven't udnerstand by myself. And the way you write Sebaciel relationship. That's everything I have ever wanted. Everything. They have normal conversation and that's it, that's all I need cuz there is everything. I feel electric every time when they talk, fight, do things together, goood the little touches svbjhsdjvbvbvbvbvbsdjvhbdf. I was tense whole fic. I read it for like 10 days, abandon everything until I finished it and now I feel sad ahahhaahha. But you are really something special, cuz I always used to say that manga itself is the best fiction cuz Yana knows the best how to create good Sebaciel energy. You, next to Yana, did the best job. You kept them as they are, never broke the character, and that's what I am most grateful. Slow burn, with drama and angst, love and attention, all misunderstanding, you put all necessary spices for 5 star meal. My fav part is when Ciel told Sebastian to add slamming doors to his most dramatic moments of his life ahahahahahahhaha 😂😂 I laughed like crazy, they are so precious♥ And I really wanted kiss to happen when Ciel lied Sebastian about another demon, that was sooo svbjhsvjhjhvbdf. But okay, you know the best, I trust you fully with this♥

The fact that they are ready to kill each other before they have normal conversation about their feeling is my fetish. I am in love with toxic things. Ciel ready to throw all game just to prove Sebastian that his value is not only his soul, right after he told himself for 1000 times he needs to stay on distance..... I LOVE ITTTT!!! I also need to say that you find PERFECT balance for good plot and romance. Your games and their cases...I just don't know, deep bow for you queen🔥💯After all, you didn't retype drama ahahaha but you manage to keep it canon without changing anything but still adding your spices so it's not ordinary Kuro plot we see every day....

I just have one question. From time to time, I was like a Bard ahahhaha, so sick of their games and my head hurting me, but on a good way. I am clear about Ciel but what about Sebastian and his disgust for Ciel's nicer, soft, emotional side? I know Ciel doesn't have it a lot, but would Sebastian still be grossed out about it as he was at the beginning of a contract or not? Keeping in mind that he is more and more obsessed with a boy?

So, that's all. I don't know how to use Patreon/PayPal, but for you I'll try cuz I only have credit card and that's all I know ahhahaha, I like to keep money in my hands😂 I'm sad about the situation in your country and all under - war countries. It's not bringing any good for anyone, specially for civilians. I hope you are okay and I wish you alll the best, the good karma must hit you really quickly cuz you made one person really, really happy here♥

Looking forward how will you finish this story, have a nice day❤

PS - this is the longest comment for fic I have ever left ahhaha, it's crazy how you got me sooo hyped up bjcvsdghvbds.

Hi! Ooh, thank you so much for your amazing, wonderful essay! I can't tell you how happy it made me! I think the electricity was already started being cut off when I got it, so I could see I have some really lengthy ask, but it wouldn't load. It was the torture of the most delicious kind :D

Like you, I've been reading fics for ages now, and the moments where I find some fantastic story that won't let me sleep or work or even blink are always the happiest and the brightest spots I remember. So it's extremely flattering to know that my story has become something similar to other people.

I love writing about smart characters, but most of them are definitely smarter than me! The benefit is that since I'm writing, I can think and plan everything in advance. In real life, I only wish I were as quick-witted and inventive. Alas, the best ideas and arguments come to me when they are no longer needed.

I love slow burns, and I love characters who abhor the idea of expressing their feelings, so Ciel and Sebastian have the most perfect dynamic in my eyes. I feel like I could spend the eternity just enjoying their Gothic world with their games, arguments, plots, and so on. Them antagonizing each other only to instantly team up against the common enemy is my most favorite thing in the world.

As for your question, right now, Sebastian would be thrilled if Ciel were to show a softer and more vulnerable side - at least in relation to him. Well, a part of him would feel the automatic need to mock him for it anyway, some habits don't die easily, but Sebastian's feelings have evolved a lot, plus Ciel is cold more often than he is not. So Sebastian treasures every word of praise, every hint of appreciation and need because they are so rare - he's come to crave them, and he has memorized all known cases of them by heart.

And no worries about supporting me! I really appreciate you taking your time to leave such a fantastic review, it made my day!

#my fics #black butler #kuroshitsuji #sebaciel #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis

[betasquads]

(this is for the niko angst thing) can you pls do smt like he thinks the reader cheated on him but its just a big misunderstanding. you don't have to make it happy ending but i would prefer it.

love ur work sm btwww 🤍🤍

I'LL ONLY MAKE YOU CRY, Niko Omilana

(request)

summary: Niko Omilana, a guy who isn't really experienced with relationships. When he hears one accusation of you cheating, you see a face you've never thought you'd live to see.

warning: kissing, angst, MEAN / TOXIC nikolas

A/N: we know me and I hate a happy ending 😘 I just simply can't make them I feel like it's much more better when the ending is terrible + (TYSM FOR THE COMPLIMENT ANON 🤍🤍🤍) also sorry for taking so long to finish this i'll try to be consistent 😭 (ending is rushed and little bit cringe, read at your own risk!!)

"Hey babe." Your heels are heard when you walk inside the beta squad set, the frown on Niko's face immediately turns into his usual goofy smile when he recognizes your voice.

There's no time to hand him the breakfast you've gotten for him as he engulfs your entire waist with his long arms, his lips making its way onto yours. You hear him slightly chuckle in the kiss, which triggers your smile.

"I–" he pulls your lips with his teeth which triggers the bottom of your stomach with heat.

"missed you–" He presses his hot lips against yours.

"so much."

You roll your eyes despite the grin plastered on your face, "You just left your apartment not an h–"

"Our." He corrects you with a slight aggressiveness in his tone.

You sigh, "Our apartment not even an hour ago." You half-heartedly glare at him as you correct yourself.

"I can't go one minute without you." He whines to you silently, so none of his boys could hear it and make it a joke for the rest of his life. He tugs on your hips and pulls you even closer.

"Yes, you can. You aren't a child and i'm certainly not your toy." You say almost a bit coldly, but from the inside, you could feel yourself heating up at his touch that never failed to intoxicate you.

"Keep your hands to yourself. There might be children watching. You know, like Aj." You playfully say, Niko biting his lip to stifle his laugh.

"It's hard keeping my hands to myself when you're so tempting." He rolls his eyes playfully.

You feel your face getting red by the second, trying to come up with anything to say rather than stay silent.

"Enough." You glare at him.

He shrugs, looking at you innocently. "What? I'm just stating the obvious. And theres other obvious things that you still haven't heard yet from me–"

You raise your index finger right at him, "I didn't come here for you to state the obvious." Your index finger makes its way to poke the side of his shoulder.

He places his hand on the place you aggressively poked, "Ouch. It's not my fault you get flustered easily."

"Omilana." Your glare was sending him a warning.

"Right. Sorry." He mutters.

"The only reason I'm here is that I got you breakfast on the way to work–"

"-but there's breakfast here." He cuts you off.

You narrow your eyes towards the buffet that was only filled with chips, crackers, and sweets. Some were left open, the rest being either closed or empty.

You squint your eyes at your boyfriend, who stood with a smile, like he had won with his weak statement.

"You call packaged poison breakfast?" You cross your arms, a small victorious smile appearing on your face as you spoke.

"Hey, hey. Now I don't want you smiling because you aren't winning this argument. Food is food. Any food could be breakfast." He smiles when he sees that you had nothing to say.

Fine, he won. But next time, you wouldn't let it go.

You roll your eyes at his childish manners. "You need warm nutritious food in order to keep your tall genes working so you could beat a giraffes height. It would set a world record. Hey, I can even call up guinness world records to help you win a world record." You suggest.

He sends you a bored stare, "Ha-ha. Very funny. It isn't my fault you look like the troll from Frozen. Giving both looks and height." He ruffles your hair as he spoke, your hands aggressively pushing it away as you fix your hair.

"I'm not trying to be funny. Also did you just say a troll? Yeah, good one. So you're dating a child then?" You questioned, raising your brows as you did so.

"Trolls aren't children. They're a bunch of grown old rock–thingy. They're just dwarfs. You know, like you." He whispers in yours ears as he snakes his arms around your waist.

You sigh in annoyance as you push him away. "All that i'm saying is that my own boyfriend deserves having real, good food." You hand him a brown paper bag, his smile brightens when he sees the smiley face on the bag.

"You guys are disgusting." Aj remarks from the background, in which you responded with flipping him off.

"Oh baby," He whispers in your ears, kissing it with a small peck. You hum in response, your breathing getting less steadier the more he goes lower.

When he reaches your collarbone, "I love you so much." He mumbles against your skin.

"I love you too." You say softly. You tug on his curls, admiring him for a few seconds.

"y/n– Oh hey, Niko." Your manager walks inside the set.

"You ready? We have to be there in 15." Your manager, Carter says to you. Niko observes weirdly at how Carter seemed a bit too smile-y, his lips reaching from ear to ear.

"I'll be there." The way you spoke seemed a bit too much cheerful for Niko, but he pushes it off.

Niko's stare towards Carter was intimidating, waiting for him to leave. The eye contact between you and Carter seemed a bit too long for Niko before Carter turns around and leaves the set.

Niko's puppy eyes return when he looks at you, englufing his large hands with yours. "Don't leave." He says, knowing damn well you'll have to either way.

"I'd rather stay with you and we both know that." You sigh, checking the time from your phone.

"13 minutes and I have to be there for shooting. Promise I'll make it up to you when we both get back to our apartment." You smile at him, the smile that always made Niko nervous.

He grins at you, his lips kissing your forehead, "I'll see you later."

—

9:40 pm

Niko smiled as he saw the time. Exactly 20 minutes, and he was going to see you.

After a long day of shooting, everyone left home, and the only person on set was him. He always made sure to close off everything.

"I'm pretty sure your girl is cheating." A familiar voice erupts Niko's thoughts.

Stacey. One of Niko's producers.

He was packing up as he finished filming everything for the day, which meant every producer should've gone home before he did.

Niko scoffed, confused by why she was here and confused by the sudden confession. "y/n is her name. And no, she wouldn't. Also, you aren't supposed to be here. You should've gone home." Niko says aggressively with a cold smile, not bothering to make an eye contact with her.

Niko was never harsh with any of his producers. He was always the sweetest out of the boys, but hearing this from one of his producers? He wasn't going to let anyone talk about you this way.

"Carter. Isn't that his name? Recently there were pictures leaked from a really weird angle. It looked like they were kissing." The name drops from her mouth with ease, Niko's shoulder straightening when he hears the name that he has always hated.

He stays silent, contemplating whether he should believe this or he shouldn't.

"Here, I could show you."

—

You felt your eyes getting heavy as you scrolled relentlessly on your phone.

Your eyes widened when a photo of you and Carter, your producer, appears on your feed.

From this angle, it seemed like the both of you were kissing. But in reality, the both of you were taking a picture on your phone of your faces at a really low angle.

And the paparazzi had to show a picture from this angle.

"Fucking pricks. Disgusting." You mutter under your breath.

You checked the time.

11:24 pm.

Why was Niko late? He was always the first to arrive. You were starting to get concerned, that was until you heard the faint noises of keys unlocking the door.

You smile once you see that Niko was finally back from work, but it slowly goes away when you see that Niko didn't seem... very happy.

"Bad day on set?" You ask, worried for him.

He ignores you, his eyebrows still deeply furrowed and his eyes are looking at everything but you.

"You got into another fight with another one of your producers?" You ask. Niko's heart softened at the way you spoke. So delicate, so sweet. You never failed to make him feel this way. He even seemed to wonder how can an angel like you, even cheat?

He sits down on the couch, his eyes still staring and boring into the TV across the room. "Babe?" You softly say, sitting next to him on the couch.

"What do you want?" He says carelessly, unlocking his phone and scrolling with his thumb.

You were almost a taken aback at the attitude. You were used to him showering you with kisses and hugs, but now he just seemed off.

You eye him up and down for a few seconds. "Is it wrong that I want to talk to my boyfriend after not seeing him for a long time?" You say playfully with a smile to lighten the mood, but it quickly dissappears when you notice that he wasn't phased.

"You know–" He starts, but something held him back.

"Actually, nevermind. Not worth wasting my breath." He says coldly, a snicker escaping his lips.

You stay silent for a moment, looking around and making sure there wasn't a camera, because you knew this was going to take a turn if he was actually treating you like this.

When your suspicions of seeing a camera settles off, anger takes ahold of you. "Why are you acting like this?" You scoff.

"I'd hardly call myself your boyfriend." He tries to mutter to himself, but you catch it.

What did he even mean by that?

" Excuse me? Niko, where is this coming from?" Your voice cracks. A huge lump suddenly formed in your throat.

His lips twitch into a mockery smile, something he usually does whenever he was deeply hurt. It makes you almost cry. What the hell has gotten into him?

"You're sleeping with someone else." He laughs, like he was amused by the entire thing.

"What are you talking about? "

"You're cheating on me." He states as if it was a factual statement.

Your heart is beating as the seconds pass by, the fear dropping to your gut almost made you sick to your stomach.

"Wh–" You pause, trying to take him on what the fuck had he just said.

Sleeping?! Cheating?!

Was those words actually coming out from Niko's mouth? Your sweet Niko?

"What did you just say?" The way you had spoke proved how much you were hurt by the statement. It wavered in fear and cracked in anger.

How can he accuse you of something you'd never do?

"I don't have to repeat it, y/n. I made it pretty clear." He clearly sounded irritated as he spoke like you were the problem, his voice getting louder by each word he spoke.

Did he just say your name?

The last time you could ever recall him say your name was one day before you both committed in a fully relationship.

You could feel your heartstrings being ripped, it even made a melody in your ears. It was ringing, you almost weren't aware from your surroundings.

Your nails digging through your skin, the pain made you come back to reality as though it had lost you there for a second.

"Me? Cheating? Sleeping? Are you aware on what the hell you're saying right now?" Your voice is now louder with anger, fury and rage that he could say such thing. Your palms are now sweating, not that because he was right, it was because maybe he was fully convinced that you had cheated on him.

"I don't see me talking to multiple people. Who else would I be talking to?"

He was too calm for a situation like this.

It made you scared.

"Niko, what the fuck– let's just talk it out. Please don't be like this." You gently speak, your hand slowly reaching out for him. But thats when he dodges your touch. Something that he never does.

"Niko." You say sternly.

fear was all you felt.

You shake your head, almost trying to deny his actions. You didn't wanna believe it. "I didn't sleep with anyone. whoever told you that was–"

"I honestly don't care whether you slept with someone or not. I can finally have an excuse to leave you." He says coldly, the words spilling from his lips didn't feel real at all. Where was that sweet man who was begging for you to stay? You were confused, none of it made sense to you it made your eyes blurry.

He had said it like he meant it, but you didn't want to believe it.

You feel tears approaching and the ache in your heart made you feel like it almost swallowed you whole.

"Niko," You say it as a warning, "You don't mean that." You shake your head.

Netherless, the pain in your chest was never going to be recovered, his words easily made its way through your heart.

"Believe it or not, I do. I'm sick of you. Always have been." He nods at his words. He wanted to believe in his words although he doesn't mean it. You could point the slight hesitation in his tone, but was that you just making up things because you wanted to have an excuse?

"Take that back, or I swear to God I will–"

"You swear to God you will do what?" He says it in a sense of mockery, his eyes finally latching onto yours.

You felt vulnerable and weak at the moment, like you were lower than him. That's how he wanted to make you feel.

"You're hurting me. Please tell me you don't mean it." You beg with your teary eyes.

His eyebrows furrow and his eyes glistened for a second, but it goes back to being cold.

"I don't care." He says plainly.

He sighs, "Get out of my apartment. I don't have the time for you." He points towards the door.

"Niko– you're not serious. I have no place to stay–" Words were now spilling from your lips, you had no idea if there was now a future. As now it had felt like the end.

"I don't have to repeat it, do I? I. don't. care. Get out."

You were in complete disbelief when you realize what made him act out.

"Niko? Is it the picture? Niko I swear that was–"

"Do you not understand the words coming out of my mouth? I don't love you anymore–" He pauses when he realizes what he said, his eyes meeting yours. He sees the tears rolling down your cheeks, his fingers curling into fists to try and tempt himself not to get up and start wiping your tears.

His eyebrows are furrowed in a sympathetic way, like some sense has knocked into him. He froze. He couldn't even move.

But before he could say another word, "Fine. I'll pack and I'll leave. We're over." You nod weakly. You were too tired to prove yourself as he was being stubborn. You couldn't even cry.

But what came next, hurt you even more.

He just nods with a small smile, "Yeah, sure. We're over. Just leave."

He had just confirmed it and there was no going back. You didn't even wanna pack. You just wanted to leave at this moment. And thats what you did.

You get up from the couch without any hesitation, holding the tears you wanted to let out as you didn't want Niko to see that you cared.

Bam.

Niko almost felt dumbfounded when he saw you take your last steps in this apartment that he had called your very own. He knew he wasn't built for a relationship and was sure he'd only make you cry in the end.

In your eyes, it looked like he didn't even regret it. But a few feet from you as you're leaving the complex, Niko's eyes brimmed with tears.

#beta squad #niko omilana #betasquad #niko omilana imagine #nikoomilana #chunkz #aj shabeel #beta squad imagine #aj beta squad #king kenny #niko omilana x reader #niko x reader #niko omilana x you #aj shabeel imagine #aj shabeel x reader #beta squad x reader #betasquad x reader

[zombiigrll]

FORWARDS, BECKON, REBOUND ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x reader "thinking, i'm not afraid of you now. i'm not afraid of you now." .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 1.1K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ fluff + comfort, reader is recovering from an e/d, e/d references?, weight talk, skinny dipping (NOT SEXUAL.), body positivity, petnames, and mostly just happy stuff :3 .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ for years you've struggled with your body, focusing on all the little things you could do to change it. but after you had met carl, he began helping you recover. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ this is one of my favorite songs EVER. i had to make a fic based off of it<3 i looked up the meaning and it said something about skinny dipping/revealing your body to your partner for the first time but i don't write smut so i thought i could just make it cute instead ! also this is only really based of verse 1 and verse 3 :] lyrics look like this!

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you grew up in alexandria and continued to live there through the apocalypse with your not-so-amazing family. they’d always make harmful comments to you about your body, putting a pressure on you that you ‘needed to be perfect,’ as if anyone cared besides themselves.

‘y/n, slow down. you’re eating like a pig.’ they’d frequently tell you.

this effected you further after they had died on a useless expedition, and the last thing you could think of was how much they would talk about your weight.

so, there you were. for the next couple of years, you did anything and everything possible to make yourself ‘perfect.’ the thing that kept you going was the fact that no one seemed to notice, or they just didn’t care.

but then you found someone who did.

one of the people from the group aaron had found, a boy named carl grimes.

you two clicked after you came up to introduce yourself when they first entered. you said hi, he said hi, and the two of you just hit it off afterwards. rick sent him off with you so you could give him a tour of alexandria.

at first, he didn’t notice on your unhealthily thin frame due to the baggy clothes that had laid over it. but as you started dating, he noticed.

he noticed your eating habits, your often trips to the bathroom, how your tiny your body felt when he hugged you... he didn’t know how to help, but he tried to pay close attention to what you were eating and trying to get you to eat more. he'd ask if you were going to finish your food or if you wanted more, trying to do anything he could think of to help you.

and thats when you realized how he noticed- that he cared. he hadn't confronted you until you ran off to the bathroom, and this time he followed you. as you exited, there he stood, right behind the doorframe. your eyes widened and you stood there shocked.

"are you okay?" he raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms against his chest, his voice having a genuinely worried tone to it. that broke you. your eyes began flooding with tears as you jumped into his arms, apologizing through your sobs. "i-i'm.. i'm s.. so sorry.."

he held you tightly, "don't be, y/n, don't apologize. you have nothing to be sorry for." he ran his fingers through your hair as he spoke softly. "im here for you, always, no matter what. i'll help you."

and ever since that day, he did just that. helping you recover, through the bad days and the good. you still felt odd and uncomfortable, your families voices occasionally ringing back in your ears on some days. but carl helped you navigate through it, sticking by your side every day to make you were okay.

...

a month or so had passed and carl decided to take you on a date. a date to the lake.

you were worried. after all of this you still hadn't shown carl your body. he never asked, though. he didn't think that he had to. but you were glad he gave you this opportunity, and either way, you told him you wanted to go. this was your choice in the end. he made that very clear that he wanted you to be comfortable, that he'd leave instantly if you said you wanted to.

"we're here." he beamed, stopping the car.

you slowly stepped out of the car, nervously walking up to carl's side.

"hey.." he took your hand and interlocked your fingers together. "don't be scared."

you looked up at him and gave him a smile before the two of you walked up to the lake. he glanced back at you and noticed you standing there, messing with your fingers nervously. he looked down at his feet before taking his hat off and setting it down next to the lake. followed after by his flannel, shirt, pants, and boxers. he walked into the water, shivering at the coldness as you stared back at him nervously.

"whenever you're ready. tell me if you want to go back home, okay?" he reassured.

over the dead sea, keeping you company.

you stood there for a second, thinking about all the possible outcomes. what if he see's your body for the first time and he hates it? you were standing there silently with these thoughts roaming in your head.

but you remembered, he had an idea on what your body looked like. through your hugs, the very rare times after you started recovering that you would wear baggy shorts, all of that. and he still loved you. i mean, he helped you recover. he's seen practically every side of you already. you felt your body calm down. thinking, "i'm not afraid on you now. i'm not afraid of you now."

you nodded, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath in before removing your clothes.

letting my eyes close. shedding my soft clothes. you covered up your body with your hands as you stepped into the water, moving to carl's side. he grabbed your hands and moved them so you weren't covering your body. "you have nothing to be ashamed of, pretty girl." he smiled, interlocking your fingers together once again. the two of you stepped further into the lake, your bottom halves being covered by the water.

"you okay?" he softly checked in.

you chuckled, a smile plastering onto your face. "..yeah."

wind blows, wind that howls like a hound. wind that laughs like a clown.

"let me know if it's too much, okay?" he told you, giving you a comforting smile.

the two of you stayed hand in hand as you got used to the cold air on your bare bodies, unsure what to say or how to react.

he brought his hands up to cup your face, smiling at you happily, admiring your beauty. even if you didn't think you were beautiful, he always had. and he always would. to him, you were the most stunning person he had ever laid his eyes upon. even seeing you as you were dating made him flustered. he'd often think about how lucky he was to be dating someone like you. a sweet, kind, loving girl like you, in a crazy, unforgiving world like this. "i love you." he said, his voice soft, but happy as he pulled you in for a kiss, your plush lips dancing with his.

pulling your face close, wanting the inmost.

you felt calm, at peace. finally. after all those years of struggling, thinking that that was how you were going to die, and that ended up not being the case because you were lucky enough to have this boy, who came out of nowhere. it must've been fate.

show me, i'm not afraid of you now. i'm not afraid of you now.

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#🌙 — maxines fics #carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes fanfiction #the walking dead #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead x y/n #fluff #carl grimes oneshot #carl grimes imagine #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead oneshot

[call-me-mrs-winchester]

𝐋𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐀 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Original Female Character

Story Summary: In Series Masterlist

Chapter Warnings: Age-Gap. Pining. Fluff. Angry Dean. Injured Sam.

A/N: Check out the Teaser and Prologue if you haven't already. This chapter is more filler but every story has to start off somewhere, and this one starts at the beginning of season 9. Here we go!

Maricela's POV

I nearly dropped my phone at Dean's words. "It's Sam... He's in the hospital."

"What?! Is he okay? What happened?" I pour out my questions in panic.

"He's not doing so good," Dean's voice faintly but audibly cracks. "They're running tests now."

"Where are you?" I jump in my car, ready to have the open road fly underneath my wheels.

"No, Mari, you don't need to come—" He begins, but I quickly reject his effort to be left alone.

"I'm coming whether you like it or not, so you can either tell me now or there's gonna be hell to pay after I track you down."

"You're stubborn, you know that?" He asks rhetorically before caving in. "We're at Linwood Memorial Hospital in Randolph, New York. I'll tell you more when you get here."

"Okay. I'll take a plane out there," I put the pedal to the metal, making my tires squeal as I drove off. "Be there as soon as I can."

"Be careful," Dean mutters.

I can't help but smile at his concern. "Always am."

Dean texted me the room number just shortly after I landed. Once I arrived at the hospital, I raced to the room where the Winchester brothers resided. I stop in front of the open doorway to see Dean, back facing me, sitting beside Sam's unconscious body that lay hooked up to various machines.

Dean peeked over his shoulder, and as soon as our eyes met, he stood from the chair. After shutting the door behind me, I walk into the arms of the older Winchester. I hold on to his jacket like my life depended on it, never wanting to let go. My eyes shut to prevent the tears from spilling as he pulls my body closer. His warmth envelops me with comfort as I nuzzle into his chest. A sigh of relief escapes my lungs, feeling safe for the first time in months.

My serenity gets interrupted when his lips suddenly press against the top of my head. I gaze upwards, stunned at the tiny gesture, only to see how close our faces are. With his large, calloused hand, he gently brushed the hair that concealed my face away. His fingers lightly comb through my hair, triggering a brain orgasm and rendering me useless beneath his touch. I get so lost in his eyes that I barely hear his whisper.

"It's good to see you, Mari."

"You too, Dean," I respond as his hand travels to my neck. His thumb softly strokes my throat. "I've missed you."

He blesses me with a slow, small smile. "I've missed you more, princess."

With his rare affection and added pet name, I'm thankful his arm's secured around my waist, or I would've toppled over already. With detestation, I use every ounce of willpower to pull away from his embrace. With a pained heart, I move around Dean and see my best friend lying unconscious. The monitor announces his steady heartbeat while I take his left hand into mine and use my thumb to caress the back of his palm. Leaning over him, I place a kiss against his stubbled cheek, ignoring the short hairs prickling my chin. Without letting go of his hand, I sit on the edge of his bed.

"Did they tell you a diagnosis yet?" I ask, studying Sam's face.

Dark shadows cast around his eyes while a horizontal cut ran across his right cheekbone. He looked as though the life had been drained from his body.

"No, not yet." Dean settles into the chair he had been sitting in before.

I shift my gaze towards him. "What happened? I thought once he finished the trials, he was going to get better."

He shakes his head. "We were wrong." After quickly glancing at the ground, he meets my eyes again.

"Cas and I... We were retrieving a cupid's bow for the second trial to restore Heaven while Sam prepped Crowley for the final trial to shut the gates of Hell. Metatron and Cas had already killed a Nephilim for the first trial, so I called Kevin for the third. He said he found the angel trials in the tablet, but they weren't anything like Metatron had told. Then, Naomi shows up, saying he's been lying. He wasn't trying to fix Heaven—he was trying to destroy it. Cast all angels to earth as revenge for driving him away.

"Then she—she said if Sam completed the trials, he would die. 'The Ultimate Sacrifice.' Castiel took me to Sam before going upstairs to straighten it out. I had walked into the church just before he cured the evil son of a bitch. 'Told Sam the truth, that if he continued, he'd die. But you know Sammy, he didn't care. He wanted to end it, ban the world of demons. Hell, I don't blame him... but when he confessed that his greatest sin was constantly letting me down—thinking I would choose—"

His voice cuts abruptly, attempting to swallow the tears that formed away. His expression tightens, forcing all the muscles in his face to keep its composure as he refuses to give in to his emotions. Seeing him in this rare form tugged at my heart. I let go of Sam and quickly kneel in front of Dean, pulling his body into mine.

"Hey, hey. It's okay." I assure him, rubbing circles on his back. His breathing becomes shallow as I hug his stiff body. "He doesn't think that."

He grabs my arms before pushing himself out of my hold. "But he does. He would've rather die than have to face me for the rest of his life, thinking that he wasn't enough. That I can't trust him, that I would choose anyone or anything, past or present, over him."

Dean shakes his head at the foolish thoughts his brother had believed. "Luckily, I talked him off the edge. We thought the power from the trials had vanished from his body, along with his will to end them. But instead, he hurled over in pain, collapsing to the ground. I practically dragged him to the car while calling out to Cas, but he didn't answer. And that's when it happened; Angels began falling from the sky."

Worried, I inquire, "Have you been able to get a hold of Castiel?" He shook his head, his frustration evident due to our angel friend's silence.

Just then, a knock sounded at the door. Immediately, I stand and add distance between us. I walk to the opposite side of the bed just as the doctor enters the room. He introduces himself while displaying Sam's MRI scans against the X-ray Illuminator. Dean walks over and examines the scans while the doctor finally reads the diagnosis listed on his clipboard.

"The MRI shows massive internal burns affecting many of the major organs. Oxygen to the brain has been severely deprived." Dean uncrosses his arms as he begins to make his way towards me. "The coma is the result of the body doing everything in its limited power to protect itself from further harm."

He walks around me and stands on my left, closest to Sam. He stares at his brother before breathing out, "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"If your brother continues on this trajectory, the machines might keep him alive, but—"

Dean interrupts, "He'll be dead."

The doctor nods. "Technically, yes. I'm afraid so."

"So, there's—there's no recovery? I mean, there's no bounce back. There's no nothing."

"I'm afraid that's in God's hands now." I look up at Dean and watch his head tilt ever so slightly, taken aback by the doctor's remark.

"You're a doctor. You're a medical professional." Oh boy, here we go. "You're trying to tell me that my brother's life is in God's hands? What, is that supposed to be a-a comfort?" Dean questions.

My left arm curls around his bicep while my right hand rests on his forearm for support, a reminder that I was with him in this. When he doesn't seem to have noticed, I gently whisper, "Dean," moving my right hand in his own, wishing to be a calming presence in this nightmare.

"Mr. Dougherty—" the doctor tries speaking, but Dean ignores us both.

"No, God has nothing to do with this equation at all," He shakes with anger as each word becomes louder than the next.

"I didn't mean—" the physician tries again, with no luck. If he only knew the real reason behind Dean's anger.

"That's not good enough!" He shouts, no doubt striking fear into Sam's doctor.

"Hey," I tug on him, forcing Dean to tear his attention away from the man and stare at me. "Why don't we go take a breather?"

His dark eyes search my pleading ones before offering a tiny, unamused nod. I lead him around the bed towards the hallway, thanking the doctor on the way out. Once we were out of the room, I let him go. Dean's face instantly changes from anger to fear as the news sinks in. Just like Sam would, I step up to reassure the older Winchester.

"We'll figure something out, okay? We always do. Everything will be fine—" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"Stop. Not now. I just—I need time to think." He tiredly states before turning away. He stares into the distance, something catching his eye. I follow his gaze and see the sign that caught his attention; 'Chapel.'

"Do you want me to go with you?" I ask softly but get a head shake.

"Just stay with Sam. I'll be back." With that, he heads toward the hospital's safe haven.

I walked back into the room, quietly shutting the door behind the doctor so it was just us two. Planting myself in the chair beside Sam's bed, my eyes grow hot, tears welling up far quicker now that I was alone. With Dean gone, I allow the tears to tumble down my cheek, unbothered to wipe the sorrow away. Hot tears splatter against my jeans while a few run past my chin, finding refuge beneath my shirt. My throat painfully fights the words I force out.

"Please, Sam, stay with us. We'll do whatever we can, but we need you to fight. Please."

I sat up straight, my head no longer resting beside Sam's hand, once I heard the door open. Looking over my shoulder, Dean closes it before making his way around the other side of the bed. I quickly wiped my tear-stained cheeks dry before he could notice.

"I figured out a way to help Sammy." He says, leaning against the cabinets.

I immediately perk up. "What—How?"

"When I was in the chapel, I prayed to Castiel. When I realized he wasn't going to answer, I..." He trails off.

"You what?" I ask warily.

"I decided to make a house call to any angel out there who's willing to help Sam for a favor in return." I tilt my head with dismay, knowing it wasn't the smartest idea but a desperate one. "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but that doesn't matter now. Sammy needs healing."

"Do you honestly think someone will show up to help? It hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows, so what makes this time any different? They want us dead, Dean. And you just put an A.P.B out on our heads. We can't even move Sam! We're literally sitting ducks." I could tell he didn't like my input, but it didn't matter. It needed to be said.

"Well, if anyone tries something other than fixing my brother, I'll take care of it." He answers.

"We." I correct. "We'll take care of it."

We lock eyes, and he nods in agreement. Now, to wait and see if any angel will show.

After a while, silence fell between us, and hope diminished with each passing minute. Dean was leaning against the ash wood cabinets, lost in thought, when the door softly opened. An unfamiliar lady walks in, offering a small smile. Dean uncrosses his arms before pushing himself off the counter. He walked near Sam's bed as I stood from my chair, turning to face her.

"Hi," he says eagerly. "I'm just gonna break the ice. Are you an angel?"

She nervously chuckles at his remark. "Sometimes I wish I were. My name is Kim Schortz, and I'm a grief counselor here at the hospital."

"Right. Uh, uh..." He gazes downward in disappointment as he struggles to find an excuse for his direct question. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired."

She flashes him an understanding smile.

"Well, all due respect, but, uh, I'm not grieving—not yet at least, so—" I hear the sadness in his lowered voice, wondering why no angel has come to help.

"I'm afraid as hard as this may be, this might be a good time to talk..." She looks past me and down at Sam before finishing. "About the inevitable."

"Look, I'm sure you're a nice person and that you mean well, but 'inevitable'—that's a fighting word where we come from. There's always a way." I interject.

"And I am a prayerful woman who believes in miracles as much as the next, but I also know how to read an E.E.G. And unless you're telling me you guys have a direct line to those angels that you were looking for—"

"Yeah, no, I uh... guess we don't." Dean interrupts, anguish taking over his features before the realization dawns on him. "But I might have something better."

He chuckles before the first genuine smile displays on his exhausted face. "I got the King of Hell in my trunk."

My eyes widen. "Crowley?" I ask in shock that he hadn't mentioned it before.

He happily strides out of the room. A surge of excitement courses through my body, knowing there could still be a chance, other than angels, to heal Sam.

"Uh, is—is that... I'm sorry. Is that a metaphor?" The confused counselor inquires.

"Sure, sweetie." I pat her shoulder and begin guiding the woman towards the hall.

"We appreciate you stopping by. Please, don't come back. It'd be a shame to waste more of each other's time. Thanks for understanding." I say in the most polite way—given the situation—before closing the door behind her.

I skip over to Sam and pet his hair, smiling at his beautiful, still face. "Don't worry, Sammy. You'll be back soon enough."

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[smytherines]

do you think maybe curt values spying so much because he is intensely aware of how much of a role it played in his and owen's relationship ever actually forming? that curt refuses to let go of it, even when owen's pointing a gun at him, because he doesn't know they're doomed for sure until nothing is as it was.

do you think maybe owen wanting to dismantle those systems is the ultimate symbol for his pain and anger and hatred, like how people avoid the spots their ex's used to take them to?

[I don't think I actually answered your question like... at all... but here's a fuckton of headcanon shit I wrote and never finished]

I think those are both accurate. I think for Curt, spying is the one thing he really feels like he is good at. That for a lot of reasons (but especially the ADHD and being gay) he's never going to feel comfortable or happy having a normal life, and by spying he gets to do something extraordinary. He gets to feel like a real important guy doing important work. He gets to feel valuable when so many people in his life have either said or implied that he has no value.

And that's before he even meets Owen. I think he really adores Owen, and maybe puts him on a pedestal a little bit (but also resents him for it). Owen is better at certain parts of the job- the planning, the stealth, the tactical and technological side of things. He has the things Curt lacks (and vice versa- that part is important). Together they are unstoppable.

Owen impresses Curt, and very few people actually manage to impress him because his RSD makes him maybe a bit too competitive sometimes- if he isn't the best then he must be the worst. So Curt wants to impress Owen too. He wants to not feel insecure in comparison. He sees this guy who is so good at the job and really fucking attractive and it makes him want to be better. To be clear, I'm not saying Owen is actually better, but that Curt's insecurity makes him constantly doubt himself in comparison (relatable).

So once they actually get together, that collaboration + competition element they've had going for however long they were Just Partners (maybe a couple of years) is still kinda there. It's still an element. He already got his sense of self-worth from the job, but now so much of it comes from how Owen sees him in the job.

I think there's also an element of... I dunno, this is some high gender headcanoning and definitely not in the purview of your question, but one thing I think about a lot is skinny autistic nerd Owen who has never done a sport in his goddamn life, thinking of Curt as a super masculine guy? And Curt feeling more masculine around Owen, because growing up people sorta clocked Curt as having some stereotypically feminine traits, which gave him a very fragile sense of his own masculinity. But when he's with someone he's comfortable with, and eventually someone he loves and trusts enough to know his secret, he feels a lot more confident in himself? Even if sometimes it is macho posturing, Owen loves him so maybe he is the right type of guy after all.

Maybe that's why his RSD becomes such a big issue in A1P1, because it feels like everyone is criticizing him at once and it just triggers that crisis for him, and he gets more ridiculous and cocky and becomes more of a daredevil the longer A1P1 goes on- he's trying to prove himself.

Ok enough of me getting distracted, back to the question- he knows that spying is the reason they met, the reason they got together, so its gone from being the thing he's good at to his entire world- when he's on the job he gets to feel good about himself AND he gets to see Owen. The only person who really knows who he is, and doesn't just accept him, but adores him.

I think that's why Curt convinces himself that Owen would want him to go back to the job- because that's where they were together. That's where they met. Their secret was only able to exist in that secret space- in hotels rooms and cars and abandoned buildings on missions. That if Curt can't have Owen anymore, at least he can maybe find comfort in the things they used to do together. He can get some small part of his self-confidence back.

I think for Owen, there is definitely an element of wanting to destroy any reminders of his relationship with Curt. We know so little about Owen canonically, so a lot of questions about his motivations are headcanon territory. So I can only say what I think here.

For me, Owen was accustomed to violence from a young age. We don't have a birthdate for him, but I picture him as *just slightly* too young to have served in WWII. I put him as born in 1928, making him 17 at the end of the war. In any case, if TCB was being sincere when they called London "Owen's hometown," he for sure lived through the Blitz. He saw his city being torn up, bombed, people leaving to fight a war and never coming home. Maybe sheltered in tube stations overnight, depending on his social class. And this would've happened for several formative years. WWII was a much more harrowing event for civilians in the UK than it was for civilians in the US.

So what does that have to do with spying? Well, I think it makes Owen more cautious, maybe more anxious for control over every little thing, he focuses his energy on making sure they avoid scenarios, and trusts Curt- who is good at creative problem solving and quick thinking and brawling- to take care of getting them out of trouble.

But, to me, growing up during WWII also instills in him this hatred of fascism (stick with me, I know that probably seems weird). I think he's less motivated by patriotism than Curt is, and more motivated by really fucking hating the people who made his childhood so difficult, who hurt so many people. And that motivation gets him through his first few years in MI6- he's one of the good guys. He's doing good things and punishing bad people.

But things change a lot in the immediate post-war period. He joined up because his side was the good side. But then the Americans via Operation Paperclip and the British via T-Force recruit hundreds of Nazi scientists for work in their respective countries. And the longer he works for MI6, the less he feels like a good guy saving the world. The more he feels like a hired gun killing without question or reason, doing coups, gradually becoming someone he doesn't like or respect, someone who isn't just good at violence but who genuinely enjoys it. The longer he does it the more he starts to have doubts about his job- except by this point his job is how he gets to see the man he loves, so he can't quit.

One very interesting thing about Spies for me is that any time DMA is onstage with BVN, he very clearly despises him. If you want to make your villain unambiguously terrible, having him genuinely align with Nazis is a good way to do that. But that doesn't happen with DMA. He is always either irritated by BVN, or doing an incredibly over the top appeasement (and making faces every time BVN's back is turned). Of the five people we see DMA/Owen kill post-fall, three of them are Nazis. He hates Nazis. Whatever else broke in him after his fall, I think that sort of instinctual memory of being a kid during the Blitz remains.

To be clear, as much as I wish he was, I don't think Owen is some great anti-fascist, anti-capitalist, anti-imperialist fighter. I think post-fall he is motivated by things he hates (the government that controlled his life and put him in that weapons facility and left him for dead), whereas Curt is motivated by a strong emotional response towards things he loves (his naive idealistic idea of America and patriotism and being The Good Guys).

That being said, I do think a strong part of why Owen specifically wants to destroy spying as an institution is partially to erase the thing that brought Curt into his life, partially to make sure Curt can never return to the thing that almost got Owen killed (except Curt returns just slightly too early and ruins that plan), but also that he just genuinely understands the post-war geopolitical situation. That his country and the US and the Russians are fighting proxy wars against each other, that everyone has their finger hovering over the nuclear button, that technology and surveillance are the way of the future. He can't, or simply doesn't want to, rejoin the side he used to fight for. He doesn't want to be part of nations battling each other for supremacy.

But with Chimera he has the opportunity to operate in the shadows. To destroy the system that destroyed him, and to carve out a place of power for himself. To be king of the ashes. To be so powerful that nothing can ever hurt him like that again. As an MI6 agent he had almost no control over any part of his life, and it almost killed him. With Chimera, he gets to be part of making the rules.

Regardless of whether it's true or not, Owen certainly seems to think that he will be the one in charge of Chimera's surveillance system. So either he knows he isn't going to expose himself as a gay man, or maybe he hasn't been with a man since Curt and truly thinks that he no longer has a secret. I could certainly see him being so injured and detached from his own body that he has stopped having intimate relationships with anyone, so he may think that makes him safe even if he doesn't have absolute control.

#heres a bunch of shit I wrote that did not answer this question #but it exists and im too distracted to finish it #so here have some spy rambles #saf headcanons #spies are forever

[mins-fins]

EPISODE 21 : ❛ cookies for the conscious ❜

When you said that you would show up on Mark's doorstep to give him chocolate chip cookies, he thought you were joking.

That is ridiculous! Why the hell would you show up at his doorstep to give him cookies? Even with how unpredictable you are, Mark assumed you wouldn't actually follow your own words, but low and behold, there's a knock at his door a good fifteen minutes after you like his text.

He cannot be serious, he did not actually show up to my doorstep to give me cookies—

Mark stands corrected, though, because of course he does.

When he opens his door, you're there, your standing there in all of your cookie munching glory. He can't help but chuckle at the display, a chuckle that makes you snap your head up, still chewing on the chocolate chip cookie as you lock eyes with Mark, whose eyes immediately dart everywhere else.

"Hello".

"You actually came" Mark breathes, and you snicker, nodding. Your shoulders raise, as if you were about to shrug, but they drop immediately, an action that Mark notices and narrows his eyes at. How weird. "I thought you were kidding".

"You wanted cookies!" You exclaim, much more enthusiastic than Mark expects for you to be, still, he finds it cute.

Wait what?

You extend the plate over to him, an action that gets an eyebrow raise from him. "Your giving me everything?"

You snicker at the question, shaking your head. "The others raided the first batch already, these are for you and the others to dig into".

Mark blinks, but he doesn't say more. When he takes the plate, you smile, but Mark still has more he wants to ask of you. "Thank you" He mutters, staring down at his feet. "Yn.."

"Mark" You interrupt, and though Mark would be irritated at your interruption, the way you say his voice has his legs feeling weak, your voice is so soft, it feels like if clouds could sound. "I like you".

Mark blinks, the words taking him aback, but you continue. "I'm stupid, I know, a complete idiot for not telling you how I felt honestly and making you feel as if your feelings don't matter, they do, I of all people should know that, so I'm telling you right now, I like you, and I never really did lose feelings for you, I just thought if I denied it long enough they'd eventually go away but as you can see, they didn't".

Your immediately embarrassed as you finish, that word vomit was much less calculated than you wished it was, and your cheeks redden as you turn away, not wanting to face Mark's gaze.

Mark can't speak, he's speechless. Oh how did you do that? You might take his silence as him not returning your feelings, because of course you would think that. "Yn".

"Hm?"

"I— you, um.. thanks for the cookies?"

You blink, narrowing your eyes. You're not sure why he decided to say that, and Mark isn't sure either. Still, you snicker, smiling. "No problem, see you Friday".

Mark should grab your arm, pull you close to him and kiss you senselessly,

but he doesn't, and he hates himself for not doing so.

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[howlingday]

Day 4 of "9 Days of Lancaster"

V9C7 Aftermath ◇ Denial

Ruby rubbed her eyes as she kept running. It wasn't until she tripped on a stump that she did stop running, though her crying seemed to double down. Gripping the alien ground in her fingers, she raised her hands to her head, ready to strike herself for her childish actions. After all this time, all she's been through, and nothing's changed! Nothing! Nothing! NOTHI-

"Hey."

Ruby turned to see Jaune jumping down from Juniper. He walked closer, not the least bit angry, and then kneeled down. Ruby had a breakdown in front of this guy, wherein the two started screaming at each other. Well, she was yelling at her friends, her sister, and him while Jaune roared his frustration out on her.

"You doin' okay, Crater Face?"

"I'm fine." Ruby growled.

Jaune was about to snap at her again, but then thought better of it after remembering how they got to this point. "Are you sure?"

Ruby was quiet. Jaune sat down from his kneeling position and let out a sigh. A part of him wanted to put an arm around her shoulder, but he thought better of it. He'd been doing that a lot lately, and it was because of Ruby. Even now, she was helping him be better. Now, it was his turn.

"You know," Jaune started.

"Don't." Ruby finished. "Just don't. I messed up. I've been messing up. And no amount of 'good job's is going to make it any better. I ruined your life."

"Yeah. You did." Jaune nodded, making Ruby flinch. "I mean, that's what I thought at first. And a part of me wants to yell at you some more."

"Then why don't you?" Ruby asked.

"Because five people yelling at one girl just isn't right."

"Five people?"

"Yeah. Me, Weiss, Blake, Yang, and you."

"Wait, what?" Ruby shook her head. "You were the only one yelling at me."

"Was I?"

"Yes!" Ruby stood up, turning away. "I mean, you definitely were, but..." Ruby shook her head. "Blake wasn't yelling, and Weiss wasn't either. Yang got mad, but she didn't yell."

"What about you?" Ruby turned to him. "Were you yelling at yourself?"

Ruby went quiet again. All this time, she'd felt like everything was just one big adventure after the other, but she'd never taken the time to really think about herself. Now, here she was, living a literal fairy tale, just like the ones her mom and her dad and her sister would read to her, and she felt... nothing.

"Ruby?"

"I... I need a minute." Ruby said. "Alone." Without another word, Jaune stood up and turned to leave. "Oh, and Jaune?" The stopped. "Thank you. For not giving up on me."

"You never gave up on me, Ruby." He said. "Even when I was giving up on myself."

With that, Jaune left on Juniper, and Ruby stood there, admiring him for a moment. Jaune had always been there for her, just as she'd been there for him. Where Jaune failed at being a leading huntsman, Ruby helped him find his stride. And now, when she was failing at being herself, Jaune was there to help her off the ground. He always was so kind. And sweet. And handso-

Ruby shook her head. NO! Focus! This wasn't the time to fall on old habits! Ruby had to figure herself out, not start crushing on her best non-bestie best and first friend of friends! Ugh... Was she always that sappy and childish?

Suddenly, the dim glow of a house caught her attention. A mansion. Painted pink and white and brown. Ruby gritted her teeth and took hold of her weapon. She can worry about schoolgirl crushing later. Now was the time for Ruby to grow up.

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #lancaster #9 days of lancaster

[coolnonsenseworld]

Last piece ❤️💙

There are still leftovers of the Calendar as well as some A5 prints with calendar pieces 💞

linktr.ee/Mezzy (or check my Tumblr for links)

#klance fanart #klance #voltron legendary defender #ooofff you ever feel like you keep doing things and things are still to get done??? #i keep saying this every five posts #i start to think loving getting in the 'art zone' is my biggest vice #because sure i sketch or do some digital work from time to time but if i haven't sat down to draw for hours #until eyes sting and neck cant move and brain sleepy af? is it drawing anymore? is it living anymore? yeah i thought so #im the main person making grocery shopping in this house did you know? for three people #there is always something running out and like let me tell you i already answer business emails while eating #i cleaned the windows today before my first coffee #okay to be fair i started it but apparently i used the wrong bottle and i smeared anti grease all over the windows #and then finished my coffee staring at the curvy roads of a thin film painted between me and the world promising myself to never do anythin #before first coffee #either way i feel like i havent been very present or entertaining lately #by which i mean on and off for months #am i correct or am i partially correct or reimagining things? who knows #but i keep having so many things i want to do it just keeps on going #i'm starting with commissions now #BUT THEN!! #haha yeah i hope you are having a great November and enjoy this piece!! #sending hugs <3 if you like them if not #a gentle wave from a far