#jinxwrites

[jinxwrites]

Bad Day (Hawks x Reader)

Hawks had been gone all day, and you were neglecting yourself again. You just laid in bed, drifting in and out of sleep whenever you weren’t on your phone watching videos. You were having a bad day. You woke up, and you could just tell that you weren’t feeling well. It didn’t help that when you woke up, Hawks was already gone. The bed felt cold without the warmth of his wings wrapped around you. You kept the room dark, blocking out the sun as much as you could. You used videos to distract your thoughts from spiraling. You also used them to drown out the loud growling of your stomach. It was nearly 7 PM, and you hadn’t eaten anything or even gotten up that much. You felt groggy from sleeping so much. The sound from the speaker of your phone was distorted. Everything was out of focus in the darkness of your room. You were disconnecting from your body to ignore the growing pain in your stomach. You stared at the ceiling until it went out of focus. Tears welled up in your eyes, but there wasn’t a single thought forming in your mind. You stayed there, blankly staring upwards when you heard the door to your apartment open. There were footsteps followed by a tired sigh. “I’m home, baby bird.” You were relieved to hear Hawks’ voice. Still feeling out of it, you sat up in your bed. Your head spun upon the sudden movement after lying there for so long. You heard a soft knock, “You in there?”

“Yeah, you can come in.” The door opened to reveal your boyfriend, Hawks, still in his uniform with his vibrant red wings casually folded against his back.

“Why’s it so dark in here?” He walks over to you to softly kiss your lips. His touch burned and pricked your skin, making you cringe in discomfort. “What is it?” You didn’t want to tell him it made you uncomfortable in fear he’d take it in the wrong way, but after coming back to your body, being touched felt extremely overwhelming to the point it almost hurt. “Are you..okay?” He asked while observing your eyes with a concerned expression. You felt bad for making him worry. You looked down, staying silent. “Are you having a bad day?” You just nodded. Hawks gave you some space as he knew physical comfort wasn’t what you needed right now. He noticed that you seemed to be on edge with the way your body tensed at the slightest sound or movement. Everything was heightened for you. Every sound, every movement, every touch. Even though you felt alert, you also felt disconnected from your reality. Hawks lowered his voice, “Have you eaten anything, baby bird?” You processed his question for a moment before shaking your head slightly. Hawks just nodded to acknowledge your response. He wanted to avoid speaking too much in case it was too overwhelming. He left for a while, softly closing the door behind him. He tried to be quiet in the kitchen, but you could hear every step, clatter, and movement through the walls. You cringed at the sounds, covering your ears to drown them out. It’s like suddenly every sound was too loud. Hawks came back with some crackers and a bowl of soup. He set them on the bedside table, keeping his distance from you. He sat down in the chair at your desk. You sipped at the broth of the soup. You focused on the aroma of chicken, the warmth of the cup, and the savory flavor coating your tongue. It was comforting  the way the soup warmed your empty stomach. You were starving. Hawks watched you eat your soup and munch on a cracker with a soft smile on his lips. He was proud of you for eating something even if he had to make it for you. “Can I talk or is it too loud?” You nodded while sipping the broth. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to take care of you today. If I had known you were having a bad day, I would have tried to stay with you.”

“No, I’d feel bad if you did that.” You noticed your voice accidentally came off a bit sharp due to being slightly irritated. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound aggressive.”

“It’s okay, I know you’re anxious right now. Your brain is in survival mode to try and protect you. Can I give you a hug?” You thought for a moment. You knew you were feeling overwhelmed, but you also wanted no needed comfort. You hesitantly nodded your head. Hawks approached you cautiously, lightly wrapping his arms around you. Your skin burned at every touch, but you knew that you needed this. You focused on the warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne, and the feeling of his arms wrapped around you.

“Hawks?”

“Yes?” His voice was gentle, slightly muffled by your shoulder.

“Can you..wrap me in your wings?” You blushed slightly upon asking even though your face was already flushed due to the anxiety.

“Mhm,” he agreed before wrapping his wings around the both of you. You buried your head in his chest. You felt safe in his wings. It was almost like they acted as a shield to keep you safe from everything evil within the world. “Your heart is beating so fast. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “This is still a lot for me, but I want to tough through it.” Hawks tried not to move too much as every brush against your skin was hurting you.

“Take a deep breath for me, love.” You took a deep, shaky breath in. You closed your eyes to focus on the feeling of your lungs expanding. “And out,” you released your hold on your breath. He coached you through a few more deep breaths before you started to feel relaxed. Suddenly, his arms wrapped around you were comforting rather than uncomfortable. You pulled him in tighter, letting out a sob into his chest. “Shhh, it’s okay. You did so good, baby bird. I’m so proud of you.” His chest vibrated as he spoke. You focused on the beating of his heart as you hiccuped from crying. You felt his hand softly petting your hair, which made your brain melt. You focused on the gentle touch of his fingers brushing through your hair. “I love you so much. I promise I’ll always help you through the bad days. Even if you push me away or say you’re fine, I’ll be here for you. I’ll shield you from all of the evil in the world and keep you safe.” You blinked tiredly as he spoke. His voice was lulling you to sleep. “Are you sleepy? Do you want to lie down together?” You nodded sleepily. Hawks lies down on his side after removing his shoes, pulling your back into his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist. He buries his face in the back of your neck, his breath tickling your skin. You smile softly as you slowly drift off to sleep, finally feeling safe after a day of pure hell.

#hawks #hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #ao3 #jinxkittycat #jinxwrites #one shot #panic attack #anxiety #bad mental day #bad day #comfort #soft #cuddling

[jinxvents]

Step away from my cage

I am a wild animal wounded and full of rage

They say I’m aggressive

That I should be put down

You caress my face so gently

With your blood fresh in my mouth

I bare my teeth

I bite the hands that feed

And I’ll whine and lick the wounds after making you bleed

I am as rabid as a dog

Yet as fragile as a fawn

I don’t want to hurt you

It’s just how I was raised

A loyal dog that was scolded instead of praised

#wip #lyric concept #jinxwrites #writing 2023 #rabid dog #trigger warning #am i a bad person #jinxkittycat #writing #work in progress #aftermath #I don’t know what to call this one #jinxvents #vent #content warning #actually traumatized #trauma #undiagnosed mental illness

[vampiresdontsleep]

ON TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS PT.2: THE FAWN TRAUMA RESPONSE

Rebecca Mandeville - Recognizing the C-PTSD-Based Fawn Response // Faenkova Elena - shutterstock.com // Mitski - First Love / Late Spring // Olga Kalinichenko - dreamstime.com // @void-galaxy-shenanigans // Pete Walker - The 4Fs: A Trauma Typology in Complex PTSD // Stanislav Bogdanov // @jinxwrites - Fawn Response // Lil Nas X - LIFE AFTER SALEM // Alyssa Kiefer - PsychCentral

#web weaving #quotes #literature #aesthetic #poetry #rebecca mandeville #mitski #first love late spring #pete walker #lil nas x #life after salem #psychcentral #complex ptsd #c ptsd #fawn response #trauma response #toxic relationships #max’s miscellaneous art

[jinxwrites]

Purple Roses: Chapter 3

I finally decided to go to a teacher after the second rose appeared. They told me they’d help me change my combination and look into it, but I had a feeling they weren’t serious about the last part. I covered my lock every time I would unlock my locker now. I wouldn’t even let Akio near enough to see. I still didn’t trust anyone. I could tell it angered Akio that I suspected him, but he did what I asked anyway. I was finally starting to feel safe again after a couple weeks without an incident when another rose appeared. How?! I was so careful to make sure that my stalker couldn’t see my combination! I started freaking out again. Why were they terrorizing me? I destroyed the stupid flower and threw it out. “Another flower?” It was Ruki. How did he know about the roses? Did Akio tell him?

“Yeah, and after I had changed my combination too. Who could be doing this?” I let out a frustrated sigh. 

“Have you told anyone?” He leaned on the wall next to me. I saw him glance at something down the hallway before turning back to me. Did he know something? I discreetly followed his gaze, but I didn’t see anyone. 

“I talked to a teacher, and they said they’d look into it… What were you looking at?” 

He narrowed his eyes with a smug grin on his face. “Thought I saw someone peeking from the corner over there.” He pointed in the direction I looked.

“Did you see what they looked like?” I asked while glancing over my shoulder again. 

“No, sorry. They stepped back before I had the chance to look.” He rubbed the back of his neck with a smile. “I’ll see you around, okay?” 

“Yeah, see you.” I watched him walk off while glancing at the corner he claimed to see someone. I cautiously walked in that direction, peering down the hallway. Whoever was here was gone now because the hallway was empty. I turned around to suddenly see Akio standing behind me. His chest was inches from my back, “Akio! You scared me!” I playfully hit his shoulder.

He laughed, “I’m sorry. What were you doing anyway?”

“I was talking to Ruki, and he claimed to have seen someone peeking out from this corner.” I leaned back against the wall with a sigh. 

“Did you see them?” 

“No, they’re always just out of sight. I don’t know what to do. The teachers haven’t done anything.” I felt hopeless. Even if I changed lockers or my combination again, it wouldn’t matter because they were still watching me. I felt a tear fall down my cheek while lost in thought. Akio held out his arms to me like he was asking permission. I just ran into his embrace while sobbing. This was so stupid. I was crying over these stupid flowers. Akio stroked my hair to console me as I gripped onto his uniform jacket. I missed my old school more than ever. I missed my friends. I missed not having to feel so paranoid while walking down the hallways. Everything I was holding back was just spilling out. I wanted to go home.

I stayed with Akio for a moment, trying to calm myself down. I still had my last class to get through plus clean up. In the last five minutes of break, I washed my face. I focused on the sensation of the cool water hitting my skin and dripping from my chin in an attempt to ground myself. I was a nervous wreck every time I stepped through the doors of this academy. I dried my face softly with a paper towel that felt like sandpaper before heading out of the bathroom. He had already left for class. Akio tended to be very punctual. I headed inside of my art class where I recognized the guy with a fedora. I can’t deal with this right now. Was he always in my art class? I ignored his gaze towards me and sat in my seat. Luckily, I was facing away from him at my table. During class, I felt a tap on my shoulder which startled me. I turned to see him and glared. 

“Oh, don’t be like that,” He smirked.

“What do you want?” I snapped.

“I have some information regarding your secret admirer.” 

“You mean my stalker? Yeah, what about it? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was you.” 

He laughed, “Don’t flatter yourself, little bitch. It’s not me, but I do know who it is.”

I glared at his nickname, “Are you going to tell me who it is then?” 

“Not here. Meet me after school in classroom 2-A, and I’ll tell you.” He winked. Gross.

Something told me he wanted something from me. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch. I just think you’ve been tortured enough.” He gave me a look of pity that wasn’t in any way genuine. I had a bad feeling about this, but anything would help at this point. I just wanted it to stop.

After cleanup time, I headed to classroom 2-A to meet Laito like he said. I waited for about five minutes, “Where is he?” I asked myself. 

“Miss me?” I jumped at the sound of his voice. He was sitting in one of the desks with his legs crossed and his chin resting on his hand. 

“Not in the slightest. Who’s following me?” I was getting angry. I’ve had enough of their little games. 

He rolled his eyes, “Not one for suspense, are you?” 

“I think I’ve waited long enough,” I dug my nails into my palm. My knuckles were white from how clenched my fists were. “Tell me who it is or I’m leaving.”

“I think you know who it is,” he smirked. 

“It’s Kanato, isn’t it?” He just kept giving me that annoying grin. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him? Better yet, expose him for what he is.” That thought did seem tempting. 

“Why are you telling me this anyway? You’re his brother, aren’t you?” I eyed him suspiciously. 

“Yes, but we’ve grown apart over the years unfortunately.” He stands up and walks over to me. His hand rests on my shoulder as he whispers in my ear. “Plus, with him out of the way. I can have you all to myself, little bitch.” 

I pushed him away in disgust. “Don’t you ever touch me again!” I screamed. I was shaking in fear and rage from his words. I ran out of the classroom, hoping to catch Akio or even Ruki before they left. Sure enough, Akio was there at his locker. He was just closing it when I ran to him. I was out of breath, and he seemed to notice I was in distress again. “Akio, I know who it is.” 

“Who is it? What happened? Are you okay?” His hands hovered over me like he was trying to console, but avoided touching me at the same time. 

“It’s Kanato. He’s been following me and putting the roses in my locker. Laito told me.”

“Sakamaki Laito?” Akio asked in confusion. “Why would he expose Kanato like that?”

“He said they aren’t very close,” I explained. 

“What are you going to do now?” 

“Confront him.”

Akio’s eyes widened a bit beneath his messy bangs. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Lila. Sakamaki Kanato tends to be a little unstable. I would tell a teacher first.”

“But I don’t have any proof it’s actually him! I just know what someone else told me, and that’s not good enough. I need a confession.”

“I’m just worried what he’ll do if you attack him like that,” Akio sighs. I could tell he was frustrated with me, but I wasn’t going to back down. I was tired of feeling helpless. I just wanted my life back. 

I couldn’t sleep when I got home. I was pacing my room while planning out what I’d even say to him. Thinking of a response to every single reaction I could think of. Going through every possible outcome in my head until I spiraled down into the most illogical scenarios. My stomach was in knots and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I tried to ground myself in every way I knew how. Washing my face, taking a shower, breathing exercises, but it’d all come back to another panic attack. Before I knew it, I had to go back to school. I was so tired that I debated on saying I felt sick, but I knew I’d drive myself crazy if I stayed home. I put on a brave face before heading inside, praying there wouldn’t be something in my locker again. There was another note taped to my locker door. Same child-like handwriting as before:

You’ll be mine soon 💜

Something about those words sent shivers down my spine. I put the note in my bag as evidence for later along with the other one he wrote. Maybe they could match his handwriting if he denied the accusations. I wasted no time heading to my home room. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins as I approached the purple-haired freak. I slammed my hand down on his desk in an attempt to intimidate him. He just gave me a wide-eyed stare with his head tilted. “Stop following me!” I yelled. I could feel the eyes of the other students in the room, but I didn’t care. 

Kanato was quiet for a moment, processing my sudden outburst. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Don’t play dumb with me! You know exactly what I’m talking about! Your brother told me!” I could hear people whispering now. Kanato kept his expression calm, but there was something in his eyes that terrified me. 

Suddenly, he frowned and looked like he was going to start crying. “I didn’t do anything! Leave me alone!” He yelled, burying his face into his teddy bear. I couldn’t tell if his reaction was genuine or not. Part of me fell for it and felt bad for yelling while another part knew that he was faking. I didn’t know what to do, so I just sat in my seat while people were staring at me. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I felt sick to my stomach. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kanato looking at me. I should have listened to Akio. I should have told someone besides embarrassing myself like that. Out of all of the scenarios, I never thought he’d react that way. I expected anger or defensiveness due to what people told me about him, but maybe he didn’t want to show that part of himself in public. Maybe he emotionally manipulated others to gaslight me. To make others see him as the victim for being falsely accused. That way no one would believe me or do anything to stop him. I thought I saw him smiling at some point during class. He knew what he was doing.

Hi! I saw that someone recently commented they wanted more of this fic. I currently have ten chapters finished, and they are all on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39866499 I also have other fics on there like a vampire AU Hawks x Reader and a Hawks x OC fic. 

#Diabolik Lovers #Kanato Sakamaki #sakamaki brothers #kanato x oc #purple roses #ao3 #fanfic #mature #jinxwrites #vampire #stalking #yandere #jinxkittycat #Sakamaki Kanato

[jinxwrites]

The Punishment

TW: This is quite graphic

Kanato kept me tied up despite the fact I couldn’t even run away with my legs being broken. He’d dress me up in lolita-styled dresses and brush my hair. We’d have little tea parties sometimes with the surviving toys from his meltdown. He only fed me sweets like cake and macaroons which was better than nothing, but still made me sick to my stomach. He told me it made my blood taste better. He usually kept me blindfolded unless he was in the room with me. I was only ever allowed to look at him and whenever I did, it was in fear. His moods were incredibly unpredictable. I had learned the obvious triggers for him like talking back or resisting in any way, but then he’d lash out for seemingly no reason sometimes.

One night, I heard the door open while I was alone in the room. I stiffened, expecting Kanato to slip off my blindfold to look at him, but I heard a different voice. “Oi pancake!” He chuckled when I flinched. He took off my blindfold and I stared into a pair of green eyes. It was Ayato.

“Ayato?”

“I told you to address me as yours truly,” he corrected. “I’m thirsty. Give me your blood,” Before I could object, he bit into my hand.

“Ayato, stop! If Kanato finds out, he’ll-“ I started to panic just thinking about what he’d do if he found out. He ignored me and just kept lapping at the blood from my palm.

“Shit your blood is sweet. Tastes like straight sugar,” he pulls away, dissatisfied. “Almost hurts my teeth,” he complained. I observed the bite on my palm. Did he have to make it so obvious? Kanato was sure to see it eventually. I couldn’t hide anything from him. “So you’re Kanato’s little toy now, huh?” He smirks as he mocks me, “I bet you’re enjoying all of the attention.”

“The complete opposite actually. Just because I obey doesn’t mean I want to.” I glared.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, pancake,” With a smug grin, he leaves the room. I rolled my eyes and waited patiently for Kanato to return. It wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter anyway.

When Kanato entered the room, I gave him a smile. He didn’t look happy which was normal ever since the incident. “Where’s your blindfold?” He asked sternly.

“It slipped off and I-“ He cut me off. He loved doing that.

“Don’t lie to me! How could it slip off?” He steps closer with his fists clenched. I’m sure he could hear my heart racing at this point. He glanced at my hand which was stained with blood from where Ayato bit me. “You let someone else bite you?!”

“I didn’t let him, he-“ I could never get a full sentence out anymore when he was like this.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses! You’re supposed to be mine! Your blood. Your body. You’re only supposed to let me bite you! You’re only supposed to look at me!” He picked a fork from the table we normally had tea parties at. I immediately thought about the times I saw him stabbing his food with a fork, and I instantly feared that he’d do that to me. Would he really kill me with a fork? Who am I kidding? Of course he would. He’s insane. I backed up, but I could only press myself in the corner against the wall. “What’s wrong? It’s just a fork!” He laughed. “I’m going to miss that look in your eyes. I could always preserve them in a jar, but it won’t be the same.” What the hell did that mean? He pins me to the wall I idiotically backed myself against with one hand while bringing the fork closer and closer to my face. I froze, shutting my eyes only to have my left eye forced back open. He had let my hands go, but I wasn’t dumb enough to fight back a vampire holding a fork so dangerously close to my eye. Tears fell from my eyes as it got closer and closer. I felt the prongs of the utensil pierce my cornea. I cried out in pain as he pushed the fork deeper into my eye. Warm blood spilled down my face, soaking into the fabric of the purple dress he dressed me in. He was laughing. He was enjoying this. “It’s like stabbing a juicy grape!” I felt like I was going to puke or pass out. He pulled the fork back, taking my eye out of its socket with it. “Have you learned your lesson now?” I nodded, unable to speak. “Good girl,” he ran his tongue along my cheek to lap off the blood running from my eye socket. I went limp against the wall. I didn’t have the strength left to push him away anymore. I heard him laughing as my vision started to fade.

I woke up in the study area where Reiji usually was. I reached up to touch my face when I felt the fabric of bandages over my left eye. Or at least where it used to be. My eye was gone. It was really gone. They had already taken so much from me. I sobbed into my hands when I heard footsteps. I looked up to see Reiji with an annoyed expression. “You should be grateful I spared you. I thought about letting you bleed out and die, but I decided to save your life.”

“Th-thank you so much, Reiji. I was scared I was going to die.. I’m in debt to you.”

“I expect you to return me the favor when the time comes.”

What did that mean? “Of course.. thank you..” As I thanked him again, the door to the study opened without a knock. The purple haired devil who gouged out my eye with a fork walked in like nothing ever happened. I started to panic.

“Oh, you’re awake. I have a surprise for you!” He sounded excited, which was never a good thing for Kanato. He pulled out a jar he was hiding behind his back with my eyeball floating in a liquid probably used to preserve it. I gagged at the sight, holding my face where it used to be. “Too bad it’s damaged by the fork, but it’s still pretty!”

“You’re sick, Kanato!” I snapped. I expected him to look angry, but he was in shock from my sudden outburst. “You tried to kill me, you broke my legs and dressed me up like a doll, and now you’ve taken my eye just because I had looked at someone!! What is wrong with you?!” I couldn’t stop. The things that I had been holding back were overflowing.

Kanato narrowed his purple eyes. Oh god, I messed up. He was going to kill me for sure now. “How dare you.. After everything I’ve done.. I fed you. Took care of you. I kept you company. I could have just killed you and displayed you with the others. I wanted to because I wanted you to be mine forever, but I gave you another chance to prove your loyalty to me after you had betrayed me. This is how you repay me?! Insulting me?!” I stayed quiet as he approached me menacingly. “Oh, not going to answer me now? Am I scaring you?”

“Take these matters to your own room, Kanato.” Reiji interrupted. He didn’t care or want to stop it. He was just tired of all the yelling. Kanato picked me up in eerie silence. I was too scared to struggle. I wish I could know what he was thinking about. I’m sure I’d find out very soon though. He carried me back into the room before throwing me on the floor. He was on top of me before I could even attempt to move away from him.

“Go on, beg for me. Beg me not to hurt you.” He was grinning widely at me again, gripping my wrists tightly.

“Please don’t kill me!” I begged.

“Oh c’mon! You can do better than that! Beg me not to tear your throat out with my teeth! Beg me not to rip you apart as I swallow every last drop of your blood. Every last breath you take. Beg me!”

“Kanato, please stop!” I cried. I couldn’t get out of this this time. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry I caused Teddy to get burned! I’m sorry I left you! I’ll stay with you and be yours just please! I don’t want to die!” Suddenly, his teeth were in my throat again. I screamed loudly in pain as I felt him rip my flesh. I had already lost so much blood from losing my eye. I could feel it leaving my body, spilling out onto the floor beneath me. The warmth of it on my neck as my body grew cold. I gasped for air, but none could fill my lungs anymore.

#kanato sakamaki #kanato #sakamaki kanato #diabolik lovers #vampires #writing #jinxwrites #jinxkittycat #graphic content #wattpad #fanfiction #mature #xreader

[jinxwrites]

Purple Roses: Chapter 2

It took me weeks to start to feel normal, but I was glad I had Akio helping me out along the way. I was starting to grow more comfortable talking to his friends as well, such as Ruki. I learned that Ruki had three other brothers, but they weren’t blood-related. One of them was famous Japanese idol, Mukami Kou. I asked about the other Sakamaki brothers and if he knew them, but he seemed to not like talking about them. For the past couple weeks, I felt like I was constantly being watched. I found myself peering over my shoulder to see if I could catch a glimpse of anyone looking my way, but no one was ever there. I brushed it off. Maybe I was just paranoid. That was until the first rose appeared. It was sitting there in my locker on top of my uniform shoes. I inspected its deep purple coloring in confusion. How did it get there? I never shared my combination with anyone and someone had to have opened it to put it in there. I couldn’t explain it, but it freaked me out. Sure, it was only a rose, but this pretty much confirmed my paranoia that someone was watching me. I checked my things to see if there was anything missing or any other surprises, but found nothing. I immediately went to find Akio. I was freaking out over a stupid flower. I saw him speaking with Ruki when I approached him cautiously. I could tell by his expression that he was concerned. “What’s up?”

I glanced at Ruki and back at Akio, “Can I talk to you in private? It’s important.” I kept my voice low just in case my stalker was around. Akio agreed and met me in an empty classroom.

“What’s wrong?” He asked after softly sliding the door closed.

“You don’t know my locker combination, right?” I hated thinking he had any part in this, but we met out at the lockers all the time. He must have watched me put it in at some point.

“No, I don’t. Why? Was something stolen?”

“More like something showed up,” I pulled the rose out from behind my back. It was slightly crumpled now from it being in my closed fist. “I found it in my locker when I went to change my shoes.”

“That’s…weird. Like really weird. I would tell a teacher and change your combination because that’s just freaky.”

“Not only that, but I feel like someone has been watching me at school. It’s making me paranoid, and this rose just confirms that I’m being stalked.”

Akio sighed anxiously, running his hand through his shaggy hair. “Look, I’m going to tell Ruki about this too, and maybe we can keep an eye out for anything weird.”

“I’d rather you not tell anyone. No offense, but I don’t quite trust Ruki yet. I barely know him. I told you because I trust you.”

“That’s reasonable. I’ll keep an eye out for you, okay?” I hugged him without thinking. I was just so grateful he understood. He hugged me back, resting his chin atop of my head. We stayed like that for a moment before the first bell warned us class was starting soon. I let go of him. My face was so warm from how long our hug was, but I really needed it. Something about Akio just made me feel calm. He distracted me from overthinking all the time. With a smile, he left me alone in the classroom. My heart was racing and my stomach felt weird. I sat with that uncomfortable feeling all the way through my Japanese class.

I still didn’t have any luck finding the other Sakamaki brothers besides Kanato, Ayato, and I learned the white-haired guy was Sakamaki Subaru from Ruki. Akio said he was a little worried when he saw Subaru yelling at me because he was known to react violently. I could tell by the state of his tattered uniform he was pretty destructive. During break, I was waiting for Akio in the hallway. He normally would hang out with me before the next class, but he didn’t come by. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. Did he not want to see me? Did that hug make things awkward between us? “Where’s your boyfriend?” An unfamiliar voice asks. I turn to see a guy with a fedora and piercing green eyes like Ayato. Ah, so the Sakamakis are just flocking to me now?

“Who are you?” I asked him with a glare.

“Sakamaki Laito,” he tilts his fedora with a wink. He thinks he’s so attractive in that hat, huh? “I heard you were dying to meet us,” he said playfully.

“I wouldn’t say that. It was mere curiosity is all. Also, who told you that?”

He just laughed, “Wouldn’t you like to know, little bitch?”

“What did you call me?!” What was up with these Sakamaki brothers being such assholes? They all seemed to talk down to me or make me feel inferior in their presence somehow.

“You’re adorable when you’re angry,” he observed my expression, seeming amused.

“I’m not interested in men who call me names like that,” I looked away from him. I could practically smell his cologne. When did he get so close? I pushed him back and angrily made my way towards the library for the last eight or so minutes. It was unfortunately on the first floor, but I didn’t know where else to go to get away from that weirdo. I checked the clock to find I only had five minutes left minus the two it would take to get back up the stairs. I quickly scanned through the books in the library, but of course most were in Japanese. No point in checking out something I can’t read. A gentleman reading at one of the tables catches my eye. He had pinkish-red eyes underneath a pair of silver-framed glasses and neatly combed deep purple hair with streaks of blonde on the ends. He had to be one of them too. They all just stood out in some way. Then again, he could be a Mukami. He kind of reminded me of Ruki, but he had said his brothers were adopted. I kept an eye on the time before I approached him. This was a bad idea considering how the others were, but my curiosity was getting the best of me. “Excuse me?”

He gave me an annoyed side glance. Great, he’s an asshole too. “Can I help you?”

“I was just wondering if you’re related to the Sakamaki brothers or not.” Why was I asking this? I should be figuring out who’s been following me, but who knows, maybe it’d help to get to know other students. I had been told by both Akio and Ruki that the Sakamaki brothers are all kind of weird, so maybe they had something to do with this. I specifically considered Kanato, but he seemed to not even be acknowledging my existence anymore. I had tried to ask him what the bear was for, which he didn’t seem to like. Other students looked at me like I was crazy for talking to him like they knew something I didn’t.

“I am, why?” He eyed me suspiciously. I had to admit it; it was an odd question for a stranger to ask.

“I moved here a few weeks ago, and I’m still getting used to this school. I had heard a lot about your family, so I was just curious.” Nope, that still sounded weird.

“Don’t you have class?” He changed the subject. Oh no, he was right. It was about three minutes till break was over. I rushed out of the library and up the stairs. I reached the top with a minute to spare, but I was out of breath.

“Lila, are you okay?” I peered up to see Ruki. Where was Akio?

“I’m fine, I just didn’t want to be late.” I quickly hurried past him into my classroom. Kanato was snacking on some pudding at his desk. I sat down in my seat, watching him enjoy it. All he ever seemed to eat was sweets like pudding, cake, macaroons, and sometimes I’d see him with just a lollipop in his mouth. He noticed me looking in his direction and his expression changed slightly. He did that head tilt he usually does when he’s staring at me. Something about this guy just unnerved me, and I couldn’t place why. The talking to his stuffed animal throughout class probably was a good reason why though.

The day seemed to go by slowly without seeing Akio. I finally caught him by his locker, “Akio! There you are. Where were you?”

“Sorry, Lila. I had to retake a test and do some extra credit work for math class. I had to work all the way through lunch,” he sighed.

“It’s okay, I was just worried about you after our conversation this morning. I was kind of afraid you didn’t want to see me..” I looked down in embarrassment.

“Why would you think that?” He stepped closer to me. I peered up at him to find our faces inches away. I got that feeling I had earlier after our hug. It felt like my stomach was in knots and my heart raced anxiously within my chest.

“U-Um, I thought things would be awkward between us after our hug..” He chuckled. I felt so warm. I pulled at the hem of my skirt nervously when he reached out to take my hand. “Akio?”

“I wouldn’t abandon you like that. Even if things were awkward, which I don’t think they were by the way, I’d still come see you.” I blushed at his words. I didn’t know how to feel. Before, I felt so calm around Akio, but for some reason, I was nervous. I could feel a pair of eyes practically burning through me. I looked around again, but I still didn’t see anyone looking my way. Everyone was chatting and gathering their things. “You’re nervous again, aren’t you?” I just nodded and he pulled me into his chest. I couldn’t relax. I found my hands trembling as I went to push him away. I couldn’t handle physical touch right now. “Lila, you’re shaking,” he gave me some space, but he was concerned.

“I know, I-I.. I’m so scared. Do you think I’m overreacting?” I hugged myself for comfort.

“No, I think that that rose thing was weird and creepy. Did you change your combination?”

I shook my head, “I have to get a key from a teacher in order to reset it. I don’t even know if that’ll do anything though.”

“Well, you should at least tell someone. It could get worse if you don’t do anything.” I nodded and he followed behind me to my locker. Sure enough, it did get worse. There was a note taped on the inside of the door:

Don’t trust him.

Don’t trust who? Akio looked as confused as I was. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know, but I can’t help but think it’s talking about me. Like whoever is watching you is trying to make you doubt me or something.” That made sense, but who was I to rule him out completely? Everyone was a suspect to me right now. “Please don’t tell me you think I’m doing this to you,” he said like he knew what I was thinking.

“I don’t want to, but I have to suspect everyone that could have seen me put my combination in, and we see each other all the time.” I gave him an apologetic look, but he looked mad.

“Lila, I wouldn’t do this, okay? What can I do to make you believe me?”

“I guess I’d have to see your handwriting or something to prove you at least didn’t write the note.” He sighed, pulling out his notebook and flipped through the pages to show me his notes. The handwriting didn’t match. Akio wrote very big and neatly while the handwriting on the note was small and seemed... childish. Was Sakamaki Kanato really behind this?

#kanato sakamaki #sakamaki kanato #diabolik lovers #stalking #yandere #kanato x oc #purple roses #fanfiction #writing #vampires #mature #wattpad #ao3 #jinxwrites #jinxkittycat

[jinxwrites]

Chapter 3: The Kind Vampire

Catalina shivered. She felt so cold. She moved slightly to pull a blanket over her shivering body, but stopped when an intense pain ran from her neck to her shoulder. She cried out, holding herself as she trembled. She barely remembered what happened to her last night. It was like she had fallen into some kind of trance when she heard her mother’s violin. She glanced at the clock when her vision cleared. The sun had set half an hour ago, meaning it was time for breakfast. She quickly realized she’d be punished for being late. She tried to sit up only to lay back down after experiencing an intense wave of pain and nausea. She was so hungry from barely eating her dinner last night, but the thought of food made her sick to her stomach. There was a soft knock on her door, “Miss Valentine?”

“Yes?” She answered hoarsely. It hurt her throat to speak or even swallow for some reason.

“Breakfast will begin soon,” the maid informed.

Catalina groaned. She was in so much pain from just trying to lift her head. She doubted she could even walk, much less try to stand. “I don’t think I can join this evening,” she answered honestly. She hoped Velika would understand; though, she doubted it after what she witnessed last night. The image of that poor maid’s corpse was instilled in her mind. The fresh tears on her face. Her lifeless eyes staring off into nothingness. Catalina’s stomach turned just thinking about the sound of her neck breaking.

The maid spoke again, interrupting her thoughts. “I will inform Mistress Bloodsworth you are feeling ill and send a tray to you later this evening.”

Catalina sighed in relief, “Thank you.” She hears a soft sound in agreement before hearing her footsteps fade as they traveled down the hallway. Catalina stared at the ceiling in the dark of the room. She missed the warmth of the sun in moments like this. She pulled the blanket over her despite her body screaming at her in protest. She curled up beneath the blankets, shivering intensely. Eventually, she started to warm up a little. She was still exhausted from the night before. Her body felt so heavy even just laying down. She could barely keep her eyes open anymore and drifted back to sleep in the comfort of the warmth.

She woke up to another knock. She felt so disoriented that she honestly wasn’t sure if she was awake. “Yes?” She sounded weak when she answered. Her voice was quiet, strained from the soreness of her throat. Her head ached from not eating anything, but she still couldn’t stomach the thought of food. She had never felt so sick before. Is this how it’ll feel every time she gets fed on?

“Can I come in?” A male voice asked. She was confused on who it could’ve been considering most of the servants in the house were women. It could have been one of the sons, but why would they come check on her? Unless they were intending to feed on her which would definitely kill her in her current condition.

She was hesitant, but she knew she’d be punished if she said no. “Yes, come in.” She buried herself more in the blanket. Her heart raced in her chest when she heard the door open. In stepped the youngest of the three sons, Norrix Bloodsworth, with a concerned look in his pink eyes. He kept his distance to avoid frightening her further. He could already hear her heart beating anxiously in his ears.

“I apologize for disturbing you, but all of the servants are busy with their daily tasks. I heard you weren’t feeling well and came to check on you instead.” He smiled softly to try and ease her anxiety, but she still seemed on edge. “Do you need anything?” Catalina shook her head, but her stomach was growling. Norrix chuckled, “I’ll get you something light to eat.” With that, he left and closed the door softly behind him. Catalina was..confused. She had never met a vampire that cared for her wellbeing or even tried to not come off as threatening. Every single one she spoke to talked down to her like she was nothing but livestock. It was burned into her brain that she was insignificant. That she could be easily replaced when she inevitably died. She was so lost in thought that she hadn’t noticed Norrix already returning with a tray of food. He gently placed it on the nightstand next to the bed before distancing himself from her once more. Catalina was still in pain, but she knew she needed to eat to help relieve her symptoms. She slowly sat up, her arms buckling as she attempted to support her weight. Norrix gasped at the sight of her when the blanket fell. There was bruising in the shape of fingers along with nail marks and a painful looking bite upon her neck. He could tell the bite was deep and was going to leave a scar. He smelled Lance’s scent and tensed up. Catalina noticed as she reached for the tray, hesitating for a moment at his expression. He immediately softened, “I’m sorry! That wasn’t directed at you. I just saw the bite on your neck.” He noticed her pink gown was also splattered with drops of her blood, indicating further that Lance was incredibly rough on her.

Catalina touched her neck, feeling the two puncture wounds from Lance’s fangs. She winced from even just brushing her fingers on it. “Do vampire bites usually hurt this badly?”

“I’ve heard a bite on the neck hurts quite a bit. It doesn’t help that he was so rough and didn’t even bother to use his powers.” He stepped a little closer as if asking for permission to look at her injuries.

Catalina obliged, “Powers?” She asked as he observed the marks on her neck. She winced again when he gently touched the bite mark. He pulled his hand away immediately, feeling bad for hurting her.

“I’m sorry! That bite is definitely going to leave a scar.. As for the powers, vampires have the power to put humans in a trance to ease their pain during a feeding. Unfortunately, it does fade and all the pain still comes afterwards though.” He watched her as she started picking at the toast on the tray of food he brought.

She suddenly remembered something from last night. While in a state of panic after seeing that body, she noticed Norrix had disappeared. “What happened to you last night at dinner? I turned away from that..body and noticed your chair was empty.”

“I don’t like watching people die,” he said sadly. Catalina was taken aback by that. She had never expected that from a vampire, much less a noble.

“Everyone else just..ignored it. Like it didn’t matter. Like she wasn’t just begging for her life seconds before it happened..” She felt herself getting panicked just thinking about it. She focused on the flavor of the toast to distract herself.

“I take it you’ve never been a blood slave before?” He asked out of pure curiosity.

“No, this is my first time. I had never been bitten by a vampire before due to my value. My mother being a famous violinist plus my blood quality put me at high status.”

“Your mother is a violinist?” He seemed fascinated by that little detail.

Catalina nodded, “Odette Valentine. She is used as an entertainer for events sometimes.”

“That’s interesting! I’d love to hear her play one day!” He gave her a fanged grin. Catalina looked down at her toast, not sure how to feel about Norrix. Yes, he was kind and seemed different from the others, but he was still a vampire. After last night, Catalina found herself being even more afraid of vampires than before. Norrix noticed she seemed spaced out, “What’s on your mind?”

“I just..I don’t understand you. Your kind are so cruel, but here you are taking care of me and talking to me like I’m equal to you. It’s just new to me is all, and it’s a little conflicting.”

Norrix’s smile faded, “I understand. I’ll leave you to eat and get some rest.” Catalina didn’t object to him leaving, but she also didn’t mind his company. He seemed to be the only decent person in his family. He walked out, gently closing the door again. Catalina managed to keep a piece of toast down and drink some water. She still felt weak, but she felt a little bit better after eating something. She set her plate back on the tray before lying back down. She unconsciously touched the wound on her neck while lost in thought. There were two holes along with some additional tearing of the skin around them and marks from his sharp nails digging into her throat. It was going to leave a scar. A reminder of her place. Her purpose. She was nothing but a food source. She felt like she could cry at the thought of that. She had tried to accept it so many times before, but it was never as clear to her as it was to her now. She knew was going to die here.

#writing #the death of mortality #chapter 3 #wattpad #jinxwrites #jinxkittycat #vampire #blood slave #mature

[jinxwrites]

Chapter 2: The Corpse Under The Table

When it was almost midnight, Catalina decided to just freshen up instead of changing her clothes for dinner. She went into the bathroom connected to her bedroom to touch up the makeup her stylist had done. She figured her gown from the auction was presentable enough for her first dinner. There was a light knock, “Miss Valentine?” A maid called from the hallway.

“Yes?” She answered while fixing her curls to cover more of her neck. She felt uncomfortable being in a house full of vampires with her neck so exposed. She knows the stylist did it on purpose to make her look more “appetizing” to the audience. As the man said, she looked delicious. 

“Dinner will be in a few minutes,” the maid reminds her. 

“I’ll be down in a moment, thank you.” After making herself look presentable, she heads down the grand staircase to the dining room. The table was adorned in a white cloth without a single stain or wrinkle, fine china, and polished silverware.She waited for the others to take their seats before her. She was taught she should always be the last to sit down. She stepped out of the way as the others came into the dining room and took their seats. Velika and her husband took the seats on each end of the table. Catalina noticed that they hadn’t sat next to each other despite being married. Then again, the end seat was considered a position of power as it looked down the entire table as if you were above the others. Lance took a seat closer to his father while Ascelin and Norrix sat near their mother across from each other. The only seats available were between Velika on the end and Norrix or a seat between Lance and Ascelin. As afraid of Velika as Catalina was, she wanted to be next to Norrix. He seemed to be the only one to show genuine kindness and respect for her despite being a human. She sits down, smoothing out her gown. Norrix lights up when he sees her, receiving a disapproving look from Velika. He immediately shuts down and stares down at his empty plate. Catalina patiently waits for the servants to serve dinner. 

The air is tense. She could tell that this family had a lot of problems. Between the way they glared at each other to the possibility of the youngest one being a child from an affair, and the fact that Velika wasn’t sitting with her husband. She didn’t want to make assumptions, but something seemed..off. The servants served the vampires first with fresh-cut meats and their special wine. Catalina could smell the blood mixed in with hints of fruit from the glass that Norrix held. It made her stomach churn just thinking about what or possibly who was on their dinner plates. Norrix sensed her unease and mouthed something to her she couldn’t quite make out. Finally, she was served with a more cooked version of a steak with a side of steamed potatoes. She was given water to drink which she quickly drank to ease her stomach. Everyone started to eat. The clinking of silverware cutting through meat echoed throughout the dining room. Catalina tried not to watch the others eat. Just the thought of their fangs sinking into something that could have possibly been a human makes her lose her appetite. Norrix leans in close, startling her a bit. “Don’t worry, it’s steak,” he whispers. She seemed a little relieved, but still felt nauseous. 

“So Catalina, where are you from? When you introduced yourself, I couldn’t quite place your accent.” Xavier asked to break the silence. He wasn’t wearing his top hat at the table, revealing his black hair slicked back. He looked at her for an answer with his bright red eyes. 

“I’m from France,” she swallowed uncomfortably.

“Ah, lovely. Are you fluent in French?” He seems interested, but Catalina wishes he’d stop asking her questions. 

Her hands trembled as she tried to cut through the steak. “O-Oui,” she stutters in her french tongue. No one seemed to notice she was on edge except for Norrix. He debated on touching her hand to soothe her, but figured it would scare her. Not to mention his mother was watching. Everyone was silent for what seemed like forever when Velika called for a servant to refill her glass. Catalina had barely touched her food. She couldn’t get over the smell of whatever was in that wine. A servant comes with a bottle. Catalina can see her hands tremble as she approaches Velika. She notices her trying to calm herself, but the bottle falls through her shaking hands. She immediately apologizes, getting on her hands and knees with a rag. 

Velika stops her with her foot, “How dare you embarrass me in front of our new guest!” Catalina flinches even though it wasn’t directed at her. She can only imagine how terrifying her expression must be to that poor servant.

She begins to cry and beg, “I’m sorry mistress Bloodsworth! It slipped from my hand! I’ll clean it up right away!” Catalina notices Norrix covering his ears like he knows what's coming, seeming distressed. 

“Come to me at this instant!” Velika growled. The maid begged at her feet not to hurt her. “Look how pathetic you are, begging for mercy at my feet. How dare you think you deserve to live after embarrassing me like that.” Catalina watched in fear as Velika placed her clawed hands on the maid’s face. Something in her told her to look away, so she stared down at her trembling hands. Crack. Thud. There was silence followed by a frustrated sigh from Velika. Catalina caught a glimpse of the body lying partially beneath the table. She screamed. She didn’t mean to, but her body reacted before she could think. The maid was dead. She laid there with her eyes open; her face was still wet with tears. “Servants, dispose of her,” Velika ordered as if she was referring to a piece of trash. 

Catalina felt so sick. Her head spun as she processed what had just happened. She noticed the chair beside her was empty, and everyone else was just carrying on with eating like nothing happened. She was certain everyone could hear her heart racing. Her unsteady breathing as she tried to fight back tears in her eyes. She couldn’t take it anymore, “May I be excused?” 

“No, not until dinner is over.” Velika shot her a glare, making her panic even more. What if she was next? She couldn’t focus her eyes. She felt so nauseous and lightheaded. Suddenly, she couldn’t see anything. She felt herself falling.

When she woke up, she was back in that room. Her head throbbed as she sat up. She couldn’t remember much before she passed out. She just remembered that sick feeling in her stomach. But why? She wondered. Then, she remembered the corpse. It flashed in her mind for a second, snapping her back into panic mode. Images of the dead maid coursed through her mind when she heard something from the hallway. She stopped to focus in on it. It was music. As she listened, she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic somehow. She got up from her bed and followed the sound as if she was in a trance. She stops at a door at the end of the hall. It was coming from this room. She knocked, but no one answered. She let herself in. Lance peered up from his book upon her entering the room, “Did I say you could come in?”

“N-No, I’m sorry. I just.. I know that song from somewhere..” 

Lance noticed she seemed spaced out. “It’s a piece by Odette Valentine, the violinist.”

“That’s my mother’s name.. She wrote this when she found out my father was sick..” Catalina listened to the melancholic melody. She remembered when her father first collapsed, and how hopeless her mother felt knowing that they couldn’t treat him. Human medicine was an extremely rare practice after human farms were created. The day she left France, she told him she loved him because she knew he was going to die. Tears formed in her eyes just thinking about how sickly he looked. 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Lance said, clearly not actually caring. He was silent for a moment, but clearly annoyed with her presence. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your reading. I’ll return to my room,” she turns to exit when he’s suddenly in front of her. She gasped as he grabbed her throat, pinning her to the door. She winced when her head hit the wood, “You’re hurting me!”

Lance chuckled sadistically, “I know. I normally don’t feed on females due to their blood being too sweet, but I’ve grown quite peckish since our last blood slave died last week.” Last week?! What did that mean for Catalina? How often were they killing their blood slaves? Lance moved his hand slightly along with her hair to expose her neck. “Have you ever been bitten by a vampire?” Catalina shook her head, “I’ll make sure you remember it then.” He sank his fangs into the flesh of her throat. Catalina cried out in pain as she felt her skin tear. He greedily swallowed her blood, spilling it on her gown. Droplets of red soaked into the fabric of her pink dress as he continued to feed. After a while, she felt faint. She feared that he might kill her. He kept going even though he was the only thing keeping her standing anymore. Her legs shook. Her eyelids felt heavy. She couldn't fight it anymore. Her body went limp in his arms. He kept her from falling by supporting her back. He closed the wound with his saliva to stop the bleeding. He could tell by the thrumming of her heart that she was weak. Wiping his mouth, he sighed and carried her to her bedroom. He just didn’t want her passed out in his library. He didn’t bother to cover her with a blanket even though she was shivering. “I warned you,” he smirked before returning to his novel in the library.

#writing #jinxwrites #jinxkittycat #wattpad #original story #vampires #chapter 2 #mature #blood slave #the death of mortality

[jinxwrites]

Chapter 1: The Auction

Catalina sat up straight in the chair as a stylist tied back her curls with a pink ribbon to match her gown. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her hands and legs were bound in chains and shaking slightly. The stylist forcefully grabbed her chin to turn her head, so she could do her makeup. Color was brought into her fair, freckled cheeks with a soft pink blush along with a light brown eyeshadow dusted on her eyelids. It made her look warm, young, and alive. It was more appetizing to vampires when a human looked that way. There was a knock and a gentleman with a cane was standing in the doorway, “Is she ready? The auction is about to begin.”

“I just finished her up,” the stylist said. She stepped out of the way when the gentleman walked closer. 

He lifted Catalina’s chin slightly with the end of his cane to observe her work. “She looks delicios,” he complemented with a fanged grin. Catalina shuddered at his last word, meaning “delicious” in English. He lowered her chin before forcing her to stand and guiding her through a hallway. He helped her up the stairs to a stage, blocked by a red curtain. She counted nine other women standing on stage with her. All of them looked to be from different cultural backgrounds, but around the same age. The man with the cane approached each of them to say something before getting to the girl next to her. “Remember to smile,” she heard him say before telling her to do the same. Catalina nodded, putting a forced smile on her face despite her fear. The man walked to the podium on the left side of the stage near Catalina. She realized she would be the first one. Her heart pounded in her chest, probably making her future buyer’s mouth salivate at the sound. When the curtain opened and the man began speaking, she could barely make out what he was saying. She observed the audience of monsters adorned in luxurious clothing and jewelry chatting and laughing amongst themselves. They dined on fresh meats from the farms and sipped their special wine from smudgeless glasses. Catalina felt sick to her stomach at the smell of blood in the room. A woman in red caught her eye in the crowd. She was sitting alone with a half-drank glass in her gloved hand while observing Catalina with her golden eyes. The necklace around her neck twinkled in the soft lighting of the room along with the diamonds hanging from her pointed ears. Her skin reminded Catalina of a statue freshly carved from marble. She was captivating to look at, but her gaze was terrifying. She suddenly raises her hand which confuses her for a moment when she realizes the woman in red just bid on her for over six thousand lei. She goes back and forth with another vampire also bidding on her until Catalina hears the auctioneer announce that she’s been sold. “Sold to the lovely lady in red for eleven thousand and six hundred lei!” Her smile dropped. She had been sold. She was going to be used for blood until she would inevitably die. It didn’t feel real to her, and no one even cared. This was normal in their society. Humans were sold and slaughtered like cattle while vampires threw parties and showered themselves in luxury. One by one, each girl was auctioned off and sold. Catalina watched the woman in red’s crimson lips curl into a smirk as the gentleman with the cane announced that the suction had ended. “Buyers, please join me on stage to arrange payment and to claim your merchandise.” Merchandise? Catalina hung on that word as she watched the woman in red gracefully make her way over. Her blonde hair flowed around her pale face, reaching her waist. She wore silver heels that softly clicked against the wooden stage. 

“I’ll write you a check as per usual,” she said. She pulled a checkbook from the clutch purse Catalina didn’t notice under her arm. Her voice was enchanting yet intimidating in a way. She had a strong Romanian accent much like a lot of the other vampires Catalina had spoken to. She watches her gloved hand scribble her signature on the check before tearing it out and handing it to the man.

“Always a pleasure, Mrs. Bloodsworth,” the auctioneer bowed. 

The woman approached Catalina, startling her out of her trance. She observes the marks on her wrists from the chains she was bound in. “Unchain this poor girl. That’s no way to treat a lady.” A vampire standing to the side assists Catalina with her restraints. She rubbed her wrists, feeling lighter than before. “Follow me,” she orders. Catalina follows behind her and out to a limousine waiting out front. A human man opens the door, gesturing to them to go inside. The woman gracefully slips inside with Catalina taking the seat across from her. She stayed silent as the car began moving to avoid seeming impolite. “So,” the woman breaks the silence while keeping her golden gaze on her, “What’s your name?” 

Catalina seemed confused at the question due to the auctioneer announcing her name on stage, but replied anyway. “Catalina Valentine,” she smiled for a moment though she was certain this woman could hear her heart racing.

“Have you been a blood slave before, Miss Valentine?” She only shook her head. “I see. My name is Velika Bloodsworth, but I expect you will be calling me mistress Bloodsworth, correct?”

“Yes,” Catalina agrees only to receive a harsh glare in response.

“Yes, what?” She asks sternly. 

“Yes, m-mistress Bloodsworth,” she stutters. 

Velika’s lips curl back into a smile, “Good girl. As long as you are obedient, we should get along perfectly.” The rest of the car ride was silent. Catalina watched through the window to avoid Velika’s gaze. She became lost in thought while gazing out into the stars. She hadn’t seen the sun in so long. Despite the sun not really being harmful to vampires, it still was uncomfortable to be out during the day. Catalina learned they experienced migraines and lethargy after being exposed to sunlight for long periods of time. Because of this, they practically made nighttime the new daytime once they took over. Catalina got used to sleeping during the day, but she still missed watching the sun rise from her window of her room in France. She missed her family dearly. Her father was practically on his deathbed when Catalina was sent to England to be taught the etiquette and mannerisms when speaking to a noble vampire. Once she graduated, she was taken to Romania to be auctioned off for the first time. “Lost in thought?” Velika’s voice interrupted her train of thought. 

Catalina turned her head to meet her eyes. “I apologize if that came off rude, mistress.”

“Not at all.” Suddenly, the car stopped in front of a huge mansion with vines crawling up the sides, indicating it had probably been there for a very long time. It was the usual vampiric architecture Catalina had observed from other buildings she’s seen, inspired by the golden era of vampires, the Victorian era. The driver opened the door for them. She waited until Velika exited first before following suit. “This is the Bloodsworth manor,” she pushed open the double doors to reveal a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling over a grand staircase. Catalina observed the extravagant decor while Velika called for her family. “Xavier! Boys! Come greet our new guest!” Not long afterwards, four men descended down the stairs. One gentleman looked older and wore a tophat and a long black coat. The other three looked younger and related, except for one. The vampire with the tophat stands next to Velika as the three others stand in a line from tallest to shortest in front of Catalina. “Catalina, this is my husband Xavier,” she gestured to the gentleman on her arm, “and these are my sons. Go on, introduce yourselves.” 

The tallest stepped forward. He had long, black hair pulled into a ponytail and intense red eyes, resembling Xavier. He smiled politely, but Catalina could tell by his eyes that it wasn’t genuine. “I’m Lance, the oldest.” He bowed before returning to his intimidating gaze. 

The second son didn’t bother to step forward or even look in her direction before speaking. “I’m Ascelin, the second oldest.” Catalina couldn’t really observe his features, but she could tell by his blonde hair he resembled Velika. His tone sounded very disinterested with a tinge of annoyance lingering in his voice.

The third stepped closer than the first. He looked nothing like the other two or even his parents. Catalina wondered if he could have been adopted or a child of a different father due to the lack of resemblance. He had black hair with natural white streaks and there was a hint of kindness in his pink eyes. He placed a gentle kiss atop of Catalina’s hand with a fanged grin, “I’m Norrix Bloodsworth, the youngest.” His smile and surprisingly sweet gesture made her blush. She could tell he was different from the others.

“Pleased to meet you,” she bowed after Norrix returned to the line, “I am Catalina Valentine.”

“Lance, will you show Miss Valentine to her room?” His mother asked.

Lance unenthusiastically agreed, gesturing to Catalina to follow him up the stairs. She followed behind while lifting up her pink gown to prevent tripping. They walked down a hallway before stopping at a door towards the end. Lance turns to face her, “This is your room. Curfew is at 5:00 AM. Anyone walking around during the daytime without permission will be punished accordingly. Breakfast is served at sundown and dinner is at midnight. You are to be dressed appropriately, especially if guests are present, and you are not to be late. Understood?” Catalina tried to process all of this information, but Lance seemed impatient. She nodded in agreement and watched him turn to walk away from her. Suddenly, he stops and glances back at her one last time. “And Catalina?”

“Yes, master Lance?” 

“Don’t get used to the respect and politeness because it won’t last,” he smirked before walking down the hallway towards the stairs. Catalina stood at her door in confusion. What did he mean by that?

#chapter 1 #the death of mortality #wattpad #writing #original story #vampires #mature #blood slave #jinxkittycat #jinxwrites

[jinxwrites]

The Death of Mortality

"Sold to the lovely lady in red for eleven thousand and six hundred lei!" Her smile dropped. She had been sold. She was going to be used for blood until she would inevitably die. It didn't feel real to her, and no one even cared. This was normal in their society. Humans were sold and slaughtered like cattle while vampires threw parties and showered themselves in luxury.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/313695577-the-death-of-mortality

#writing #original story #vampires #mature #blood slave #wattpad #jinxkittycat #jinxwrites #the death of mortality

[jinxwrites]

Angst To Fluff

Trigger warning: this scene contains self harm

Norrix sinks his fangs into the flesh of his hand once more to fight off his growing urges. Blood drips from his wounds, splattering on the sheets of his bed. He’s crying. His fangs hurt so bad he wants to rip them from his mouth. His throat feels like it’s engulfed in flames. The wounds on his hands stung from repeatedly biting them while they were slowly trying to heal. He’s shaking. He feels nothing but pain and hunger. He thought about Catalina. He hadn’t seen her in a couple days because he refuses to leave his room in his current state.

He wanted nothing but to hold her and feel her soft hair. Her soft hair. Her soft skin. He wanted nothing but to sink his fangs into her soft skin. He wanted to feel her heartbeat quicken as he drained the warmth from her body. He’s salivating at the thought of tasting her. Her scent is always so captivating, floral with a hint of sweetness. Just thinking about it makes his fangs ache. He almost thinks about luring her to him and attacking her. He bites into his hand as punishment for even imagining such a thing. Still, she trusted him. She trusted him with every fiber of her being, yet he wanted to take advantage of her. He had tasted her blood briefly before the last time she offered it to him, but it wasn’t enough. It’s never enough. He needed more. The hunger was unbearable. It felt like something was clawing at his throat, desperate to get out. He looks out at the moon as an attempt to distract himself. He thinks back to the last time he had blood. It had been months, no wonder it was so bad this time. He tries to at least feed once a month, but it’s been so hard trying to get it from Catalina. Whenever he wants blood from her, she’s already been fed on by Ascelin. His older brother is so rough on her too. She’s always coming to him, doused in his scent. He leaves her covered in bruises and open wounds. Norrix can smell the blood, but he can control himself once he sees the fear in her eyes. The last thing Norrix wants is to make Catalina afraid of him. Still, it’s hard because he knows that if she knew how much pain he was in right now, she’d offer herself right away. Even though he smelled her blood not too long ago, she’d say it was okay and insist anyway. She willingly puts herself in danger for Norrix’s wellbeing, and it hurts him more than she could ever know. The worst part was, Catalina’s kindness and gentleness reminded him of his childhood friend, Beatrice.

Norrix was very neglected by his parents as a child. His father-figure wanted nothing to do with him due to Norrix not being his actual son, his real father was nowhere to be found, and his mother filled the hole in her heart with married or soon-to-be married men from other families. He was practically raised by the servants, especially by a maid named Beatrice. Norrix often overheard all the servants talking about him and his brothers. They’d claim they’re all brats and their mother should stop fooling around with married men so she can take care of her kids. Norrix tried not to talk to the ones that obviously didn’t like him, but Beatrice was different. She loved him as if he was her child, and she always stuck up for him whenever the others called him a brat. She dressed him, played with him, and she’d always visit him once she was done with her daily tasks. She’d even stay with him past curfew if he didn’t want to be alone. Beatrice didn’t see Norrix as a vampire, but a child that just wanted to be loved and cared for. Norrix thought of Beatrice as a mother more than his actual mother. Whenever he’d have a nightmare, he’d run to her room instead. Beatrice would smooth out her skirt and pick him up while he sobbed into her shoulder. She was the only one to bring him the comfort he had longed for and that was taken away from him. His mother grew jealous of their bond, wishing she was close with her favorite child. She attacked Beatrice in the basement by pushing her down the stairs and ripping into her throat with her fangs. His mother left Beatrice to bleed out, knowing her son would finish her off. Norrix followed the scent of her blood to find her nearly dead, begging him to stop the pain. He refused, but eventually caved in and lost control. Her blood went sour in his mouth. That’s when he knew she was dead. Norrix resented his mother ever since, but blamed himself for her death. He had so many nightmares afterwards, but he could no longer run to anyone for comfort. He kept his distance from every human in the house in fear he’d hurt someone again. He built a tolerance for how long he can go without blood until he starts becoming erratic, and he only ever fed when he thought he needed it and only with the human’s consent. He knew he had gone too long this time without blood. Once he snapped out of his thoughts, he felt an intense wave of pain hitting him again. He could feel himself slipping in and out of awareness like his instincts were taking over. There was a knock, “Norrix?” He recognized her voice. The soft pronunciation of the “r” in his name from her French accent he found so adorable gave her away. “Are you alright? You haven’t been coming to dinner.” He thought of what to say to not worry her, but it was hard to focus because he could hear her heart pounding anxiously through the door. He focused on it, feeling his instincts slowly take control. He heard another knock, “Norrix, please let me in.”

“Go away,” he growled. She was taken aback by his tone, but she knew something was wrong.

“Please, I don’t feel safe when you’re not around. Ascelin keeps eyeing me because he knows I’m not protected anymore. I’m afraid he’ll kill me!” The door opened to reveal the disheveled Norrix. She observed his state. The dark circles under his eyes, making them look sunken. He had no color in his face or lips. His right hand was covered in bite marks that were still attempting to heal. Blood ran from his freshest wound and dripped from his fingertips. Catalina grabbed his injured hand with a worried look on her face, “What happened? You’re bleeding! Are these from your fangs?” She asked while observing the wounds. The warmth of her skin was enough to make Norrix’s fangs ache. The feeling of her soft hands clasped in his and the scent of her blood coursing through her veins. He imagined just ripping into her neck from where they were standing. He pulled his hand away and distanced himself from her. He was hissing uncontrollably under his breath. He knew that this was dangerous, but Catalina persisted. “How long has it been since you’ve had blood?”

“Nearly three months,” he could barely speak.

“Three months?! You need blood now!” She immediately offers her neck when Norrix sees a fresh bite mark. His jaw tensed. It smelled like Ascelin.

“How long ago was that?” He asked angrily.

“Last night. I told you he’s been more aggressive lately.”

“I can’t. I have no idea how much he took from you, and I can’t control myself very well.” He could see Catalina getting frustrated at his stubbornness. Suddenly, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a deep kiss. Norrix immediately melted into her warmth, wrapping his arms around her waist. The pain only subsides for a moment. Then, he smells blood. His fang had cut her lip and a tiny bit was just seeping out. He runs his tongue along her lip to catch the droplet.

“Bite me,” she says while offering her neck again. Norrix hated feeding from the neck because it seemed to cause so much pain afterwards. He could barely think straight, savoring the droplet on his tongue. Her heartbeat was so loud in his ears. He gently picked up her arm, biting into her wrist instead. He tried to be gentle, but the way Catalina flinched told him he was a bit too aggressive. He tried to focus in on her breathing and heartbeat while he let the blood fill his mouth. He had learned how to pick up signals on when a human is starting to feel faint. He gulped down a few mouthfuls while listening to her heart beat. The pain was subsiding from the bite from putting her in a trance. He noticed her starting to feel off and pulled himself off, quickly licking her wound to stop the bleeding. She nearly fell, but he caught her before she hit the floor. He cursed himself for not taking into account how much she might have lost the night before. He laid her in his bed and sat next to her.

“I’m sorry, Catalina. I lost control.” He looked down at his hands to find all of the wounds closing up quickly.

“I brought it upon myself,” she smiled. “Norrix, please stop hurting yourself. You could have caused some permanent damage. You were barely healing.”

He glanced at her wrist. The bite was red around the freshly punctured skin. “Does it hurt?”

Catalina shrugged, “Not as much as the one on my neck. Ascelin doesn’t even use his powers on me.”

“Ascelin is a sadist,” Norrix stated. “You should sleep here tonight, so I can protect you.” Her face flushed despite her anemic state. Norrix chuckled, “I enjoyed that kiss. May I have another?” Catalina was so flustered that she could only nod. Norrix leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. “Sleep, iubita mea.” Catalina smiled at his term of endearment as she drifted to sleep.

#jinxwrites #writing 2022 #content warning #trigger warning #vampire #vampire universe #self harm #norrix bloodsworth #catalina valentine #jinxkittycat

[jinxwrites]

I have found in recent years,

I’ve become what I fear.

My heart is in pain.

Rage flows through me like a tidal wave.

My blood boiling in my veins;

It’s just a matter of time before I destroy everything in mind.

#jinxwrites #jinxkittycat #writers #writing #writing 2021 #anger #rage #anger issues #undiagnosed something #trauma

[jinxwrites]

Fawn Response

I am a fawn

So dainty and small

They say I’m naive and don’t know anything at all

I rush to comfort you

I put your needs before my own

And I will even destroy myself to not end up alone

Standing in the road with headlights in my eyes

Staring death in the face as the car picks up it’s pace

I can’t even speak or even make a sound

Before my fragile body hits the solid ground

I am a doe

So quiet and meek

They say that I should stand up for myself and stop being so weak

I rush to comfort you

Even if I’m the one in pain

And you can keep on hurting me as long as you’ll still remain.

#unfinished #fawn response #jinxwrites #oof trauma #2021 writing #lyric concept

[jinxwrites]

Blame

Go on and scream at me some more

Call me a bitch and a whore

Tell me how you really feel

Like I’m one foot out the door

As I sit here and endure your tantrum once more

If I didn’t love you, I’d fucking leave

Because I don’t deserve the way you treat me

I’m walking on eggshells and holding my breath

Just to take the blame again

Go on and threaten to off yourself again

So I can talk you off of the ledge

Convince you that it’s all okay

And things will go back to normal someday

Even though you’ll never change

If I didn’t love you, I’d fucking leave

Because I don’t deserve the way you treat me

I’m walking on eggshells and holding my breath

Just to take the blame again

Holding you and crying

You’re not even trying

Scared of you dying

But I know that you’re lying

I know that your lying to me

#wip #lyric concept #blame #2021 writing #jinxwrites #jinxkittycat #abusive relationship #trauma

[jinxwrites]

Birthday Cards

Thank you for the birthday cards, but I’ll probably just throw them away

They’re all just useless pieces of paper with lies sprawled across the page

You claim you love me

You claim you care

But you weren’t even there

What does it feel like to be close to your family?

They all just seem like strangers to me

It’s fine I’ll just grow up without a dad

Pretty sure I was already used to that

And thank you for considering your daughter for a day

But my feelings about you will stay the same.

Thank you for the birthday cards, but I’ll probably just throw them away

They’re just stupid pieces of paper with lies sprawled across the page

You claim you love me

You claim you care

But your compassion was rarely even there

What’s it like to be close to your family?

They all just seem like strangers to me

It’s fine I’ll just grow up without a mother

I’ll just ask for advice from my sister and brother

Thank you so much for considering your daughter for a change

But my feelings about you will stay the same

I’m sure that we’ll reconnect someday

As long as you’ve matured and seen the errors of your ways

It’s fine I’ll just grow up on my own

Pretty sure I was doing that all along

Thank you so much for considering your daughter for a day

But my feelings for both of you will stay the same

#birthday cards #jinxwrites #mommy issues #daddy issues #2021 writing #lyric concept #oof trauma

[jinxwrites]

Silver Eyes

Trigger Warning: This contains implications of self harm. It’s also from like 2015.

It’s cold hands try to comfort me as it’s silver eyes gleam. I’m telling myself no, but it stares at me with a cold gaze. It tells me “I’m the only comfort you’ll have. I’m the only comfort you need.” It reminds me of the aching in my chest. It tells me it can relieve the pain. I give in. I embrace its metallic form. I feel it’s sharp teeth bite into my flesh. It is like a vampire that feeds on my blood. It is like an addictive joyous poison that I need to live. It is taking me away from the ones I love, the ones who love me, and the ones who comfort me, but that doesn’t matter. It’s taking away the ache in my chest; that pressure pushing on my heart and lungs that makes it hard to breathe. It’s taking away the tears spilling from my eyes by spilling my blood. It’s giving me, a horrible person that is just useless, selfish, and overdramatic, the punishment I need. It’s taking away the guilt I feel for existing. It’s slowly killing me. It’s taking my emotion. “I JUST WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING!” I scream while staring into those silver eyes. It tells me that it can make me feel something again, but I refuse. It beckons me with it’s gleaming teeth formed into a smirk. It bites me, it takes life from my eyes, and it tells me I belong to it. “You’re mine” it whispers in my ear as blood drips from my wound. I cry. I push it away the best I can, but darkness is closing in. It’s cold hand is resting on my wrist, digging in it’s nails to remind me who I belong to. “It’s just a phase” they say “You’re being dramatic. You are just a teenager having issues. You’ll get over it. Be happy! You’re just sad. Attention whore.” When they say these things, the teeth sink deeper in my flesh. Bite after bite, I’m losing my senses, my emotion, and what I thought I lived for. My voice is silenced. My tongue is bitten. I am forced to keep my mouth shut until I am alone. Until I can cry on it’s shoulder while blood drips once more. I can’t stop myself. Scar after scar, I am becoming uglier than when I started. I’m beginning to believe that I won’t be able to go on. That the silver eyes that beckon me will soon be the death of me. No more smiling, no more laughter, and even no more tears or anger. Numbness. Nothing. Static on a screen. Pulling the strings on the corner of my mouth and forcing myself to lie through my teeth. There’s so much blood. So many scars that I am a mutilated, walking corpse with dead eyes. It’s teeth that once gleamed silver are stained red, it’s eyes are red, it’s nails are red, and it’s cold hands are red with my blood, my pain, and my self-worth. What’s the point of trying to refuse when I could let it “comfort” me again? There's nothing more to take then my life and my blood.

If you ever stare into those silver eyes like I do, just remember how deceiving those eyes can be.

#self harm #vent #old writing #trigger warning #mental health #don't worry i'm fine #2015 writing #silver eyes #poem? #jinxwrites