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#ive been romantically attracted to people before. i should know what it feels like. but god its hard to figure it out

soyeah-anyways · 2 years

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there is something i’ve been wanting to talk about for a while now. it's been on the back of my mind and i feel like it’s something that should be thought about. this post is less of a forceful sort of “you should think like this!” sort of thing but more of a food for thought. everytime ive seen ship wars (especially ships that haven’t been confirmed canon) there are always people who bring up certain moments that convey romantic attraction of two or more characters based on assumptions of the viewer. they then use those moments as a means of telling the other person in the argument “hey, this moment that i thought was romantic is proof that this ship has more chances of being canon than yours!” and vice versa.

in general, this is fine. i feel like if you’re having a discussion with somebody on the probability of a ship being canon, it would make sense to bring up moments between the two or more characters as way to prove your point. so overall, this is perfectly logical. the problem is, these tactics aren't always used during civilized discussions or arguments, these are used as attacks towards the other person. the attacks become even more aggressive if they(the aggressor) have more people on their side. because suddenly, the second more than one person agrees that a moment is romantic, the ship is canon.

this has always bothered me because people who believe that truly think that the creator of the show would agree. i've learnt over time that this isn’t the case. majority of the time, creators don't have the mindsets that fandoms have. and more often than not, they see their shows from a surface level point of view. meaning that they don't look into or analyze things NEARLY as much as fandoms do. even if it seems so blatantly obvious that whatever scene that conveys an emotion in the fans, is intended. there are many examples i can think of when these sorts of things happened but a big one that sticks out to me is the idea that pacifica is abused by her parents in gravity falls.

when the northwest mansion mystery came out(and even before that episode) people wholeheartedly believed that pacifica was abused. it was one of the main things that EVERYBODY talked about(myself included!) there was an abundance of fanfictions, and posts, and ideas, that revolved around the whole concept of pacifica being abused. it made perfect sense too, i mean you gotta be really messed up in the head if just listening to a literal BELL scares you. but then it was confirmed by alex hirsch that this wasn't the case. on the northwest mansion mystery commentary(available on yt) with alex hirsch, featuring matt braly and jackie buscarino(va for pacifica). it was confirmed that pacifica wasn't abused at all. alex hirsch was appalled that people would even think that, he made it clear that in his mind, pacifica's parents were just douchey people that do douchey things. alex hirsch couldn't wrap his head around as to why people would even think that. of course fans were allowed to do what they wanted, and if they connected with pacifica because they thought she was abused, that’s okay. but alex hirschs’ commentary really shows you how creators really think about their shows.

this isn’t even the only example i can think of, there were SO MANY cases of fans seeing things that the creators wouldn’t have even thought about! i mean just seeing how owen dennis(the creator of infinity train) didnt consider lake being non-binary until fans made the connection shows you how little creators/writers think about those kinds of things. the only person i can think of that even CONSIDERS viewing their show from a fandom mindset is dana terrace. THIS is why moments that could be seen as romantic could be completely unintentional. you really don't know whether something is canon or not unless you get explicit confirmation by the creators or scenes within the show. although, like i previously stated, there is nothing wrong with assuming or even believing that moments are romantic. my problem is with the people who choose to use moments like that as weapons to attack others' beliefs. quite frankly, i think it’s pretty stupid to do anything of the sort, especially considering that the second they(the aggressor) are proven wrong, they refuse to take accountability over the fact they harassed somebody over a SHIP. but even if they WERE right in the end, that still doesn't excuse this sort of behavior. I don't care what the circumstance is or how obvious it seems that the ship will be canon, you have no right to harass somebody over the probability of a ship being canon or not. there is no need to be hostile.

i really do think that if people like this went outside and spoke to a real person for more than 3 minutes, they would understand that ships being canon or not are not important in the grand scheme of things. maybe i'm wrong, maybe this is something that is normal or at least should be considered normal. but for everyone's sake, could you at least try to be respectful about sharing your opinions? thank you.

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aroacesafeplaceforall · 2 months

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hello, its me! the anon who asked for your opinion abt shipping Alastor with other characters :)

firstly, thank you for answering! i totally agree that, if you build on a character's canon aro/ace orientation, then shipping them would be okay. ive just heard other people say doing that was aroace erasure, and i didnt feel like i had much say, because (as previously stated) im aceflux and nebularomantic.

my sexuality fluctuates, and i cant really tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction, which is why i didnt feel qualified to put out my opinion on such matters

i also feel like i should apologize, bc i kinda feel like my ask may have snowballed into some sort discourse? idk, just from what i saw when looking at the blog every now and then, it looked like some shit was going down, revolving around Alastor 😭

now, onto why im here: why should someone do if a person they looked up to, who outwardly supported the aroace community, turns out to be a horrible person? (im sure that some people reading this can already guess who im talking about)

i feel so icky about the situation, bc ive supported and loved this person for years. all of the songs theyve ever written have been so aro-coded (as said by aromantics), and a vast majority of their fanbase is aromantic/on the aro/ace spectrum, myself included. they even spoke about their love for the aromantic community openly, and now, with them being exposed as a horrible person, i dont really know how to feel. is there any advice you could give me and others who are in the same boat? /nf

—sincerely, 🦢🦌

No it’s all good! The discourse was started by me ducking up and some people taking it slightly to far.

Unfortunately I do know who you’re talking about. I was in that fandom back in 20-22 ish, and I couldn’t be happier that I left. Honestly. I don’t know ANYthing about the situation other then someone being revealed to be a piece of shit for some reason and I would like to keep it that way:

I don’t need to know the details about what this person did.

Small side note before I begin:

I think the problem is a lot of people have put people like that on a pedestal while not knowing anything about them.

The big difference between e- celebrities and true (actors, singers, rich assholes ect) celebrities is the accountability of the public. True celebrities have been held accountable much sooner and to much more effect then e-celebrities due to the fact that the media cares what they do. The paparazzi ect

People talking about not listening to said persons music anymore: reminder that it’s not only them who produces and plays that music. Don’t listen to their solo shit, burn CDs rip it off YouTube, piracy is on the rise.

The rest of the people involved with the band are NOT at fault here and their career and income should not have to suffer for an asshole.

“Cancel” the person not the team.

You can still relate to something without relating to the asshole

You can still relate to something without being the asshole

Be respectful

Listen to victims

And a word for my aspecs ->

The amount of straight people who are just as bad doesn’t matter here, no matter what happens next, all people will see is “he supported aroace spec people” and will try and use it.

Ignore that block them and report harassment

Stay safe anon

#asks #ask #sorry if this was a mess #dsmp #lovejoy #wilbur soot #discourse #tw abuse #tw violence

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villain-sympathizer · 2 months

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5 for adelynn / 10 for sunny / aaaand 15 for danni!

oh man you picked a tough one for sunny cause ive never actually thought about dialogue for her before LMAO so this should be fun

also, i'll add in your last ask with this too since im insanely late with it:

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5. What’s one hill your OC will die on (anything from a guiding moral position to a strong opinion about combining mint and chocolate)?

Adelynn is a firm, FIRM believer in the idea that Pro-Heroes should not be in advertising or campaigns. Their image shouldn't be associated with brands and products in the same way celebrities are, it just feels so scummy and cash-grabbing.

However, charity events are different, so long as the heroes don't gain any of the raised money for themselves. Because dude, if the Pro-Heroes (or the students in the future) did like, charity gaming streams? That would be hilarious. I'd kill to see Present Mic try and cook without a recipe as a charity stream.

When her Pro-Hero sister, Danni, eventually retires early (either her contract expires or she gets injured i havent decided yet lmao) she'll essentially be doing so many charity streams of random shit and gaming, with her music passion thrown in, and Addie will absolutely be making her own appearances in there as well.

10. Share a sentence of dialogue from your OC that you think represents them well.

Like I said, I've never thought about what Sunny has said before, literally I've only even thought about her actions LMAO. She's sadly the least fleshed out of the sisters.

Although, if she did, it would probably be something along the theme of saying she feels horrible for how her father treats her sisters simply because of their quirks and the fact that they're his step-daughters, and that if she could reshape his thoughts herself, she would.

15. How does your OC take up space? What do they do with their hands when they talk, or how do they sit in chairs?

Danni is an ADHD icon, bro, she is always moving in someway and rarely ever sits still. If she's still for too long that's how people know somethings wrong LMAO.

When she talks or rambles she's always moving some part of her body, be it vague gestures of her hands or pacing in place. When she's singing or performing she's always moving her body in someway if she's not playing an instrument.

It's very common to see her playing with shadows if she's super bored in private. Imagine walking into the waiting room at like, the dentist and seeing the Number 3 Pro-Hero in America making and entire miniature replica of the civil war with shadows on the carpet.

When she sits it's always in a "I'm-absolutely-not-straight" way, sitting sideways on chairs w/o arms, legs tossed over the couch arm, feet on the coffee table, etc. If she HAS to be still or professional, say in a Hero briefing or meeting, one of her legs will always be bouncing or she'll fidget with her fingers.

---

Topic: Love

For Adelynn, love comes from deep companionship, trust, and understanding. Familiar and platonic love typically hits her harder than romantic love, as romance is just a branch of friendship in her eyes. When she says she loves a romantic partner, in this instance - Tomura, her love stems from the mutual understanding and shared interests of each other before it reaches the romantic attraction, though it's definitely a part of it too.

Danni loves very easily, and it's difficult for her to really hate anyone. Dislike, absolutely, but rarely hate. She's able to make friends easily, and tends to become very attached to those that stay - likely due to her constant loneliness growing up as a sheltered kid. She says "Love you" to all her family and friends no matter what, because she does. Deeply. When it comes to romantic love, she tends to get insecure in regards to the other person's attraction to her. After a rough, verbally abusive and manipulative "relationship" with another Pro-Hero, her confidence in romance has severely plummeted. She's been called too masculine, too brash, too annoying, too muscled to be considered sexy or attractive. After starting a relationship with Nighteye, she's been very hesitant to do anything sexual because of it.

Sunny, being a senior in high school, isn't really focused on love, obviously. Sure, she's had plenty of crushes and a few partners here and there in her high school years, but she's more focused on becoming a suitable Pro-Hero like she wants to be - or rather, like her parents want her to be. Besides, once she's a Pro it's unlikely she'll have time for a relationship or starting a family. Although, after meeting a few UA boys during a heroics course trip, she's starting to subtly plan on making things work. If Danni and Addie could do it, surely she could too, right?

#THANK U BESTIE 💕💕💕#oc adelynn #oc danni #oc sunny #ask game #snaggz #dame answers

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theoldaeroplane · 4 months

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meandering thoughts (reflective style)

with my life seeming to settle a little bit (knock on wood) my brain returns to its favorite dilemma: relationships! how confusing they are for me! how i get crushes all the time on everyone and am too scared of alienating people important to me to do anything about them! operation "just be cool and hot and hope people are attracted to you" does not seem to be working, despite the fact i am both cooler and hotter than ever. i have always given off an unconscious air of "don't interact with me" that I think makes this difficult for people. (probably because I largely don't want most people to interact with me, and because I'm autistic and can't figure out social cues, and because even casual touch with people outside of a very small bubble activates like seventeen goblins in my brain!)

i talked to my therapist about these feelings last week and we're probably going to focus on them moving forward. this was really the year where i realized that the depths of the damage done to me growing up were much deeper than I thought. it's difficult to acknowledge that! it's hard to really look in the eye how much work I still have to do even now.

I've been reading about relationship anarchy and finding it appealing. the trouble of course comes in the practice. my therapist, who's trans and poly and is someone I trust to have good takes on these things, said something like ... "you can just ask the people you want to be closer to if they're interested in exploring a possible deeper intimacy." im both fascinated and terrified by this. sure i can just ask. what if i get told no? ive been told no so many times. it does a number on your self confidence! what if it makes this person who is important to me uncomfortable? what if it pushes them away from me? it's happened before! i can't risk losing what I have!

i suspect the fact my support network is almost entirely friends makes this much more frightening; without the kind of anchor relationship most people i know have in the form of immediate family, expressing interest in changing the relationships i do have kind of feels like fucking around in my operating system's files without a backup. it's sort of funny to be okay with the mortifying ordeal of being known, but being too afraid to even get to it.

relationship anarchy says, do away with preconceived notions of what a relationship "should" look like. kick out the fences and define new borders. fuck your friends and live domestically with your platonic life partner, if you want. this fascinates me. it's something I've been writing into many of my characters' relationships for some time now, without having a name for it. do i want a traditional partner? part of me thinks I do, but maybe that's just a lifetime of social conditioning. what would be the most fulfilling for me? i don't know. it seems like something you can probably only figure out with experience, and right now that's my problem.

i was raised by people who wanted me to "court" instead of date. (My therapist made a terrible face and said oh I hate that for you when I told him this.) i was raised by people who definitely would have tried to get me to read "i kissed dating goodbye" if i had done anything other than have a crush on a gay boy all through high school. I still talk to that guy all the time, crush free even, and he's in a great relationship with another man now. their relationship is strictly romantic; the partner fulfills his sexual needs with other people. i thought that was so cool when I first heard about it. I think it was the first time someone I knew personally demonstrated a functioning, nontraditional relationship. Others have followed. I'm so happy for them! I watch, fascinated, from behind the iron wall I've built for myself while "Hello My Old Heart" plays in the background.

it's Christmas as I write this, and I've got no plans. a few people have checked in on me, because I'm always alone at this time of year. (honestly, the checking in kind of makes it worse. "hey I'm celebrating with my loved ones and I know you aren't, how are you?") that's another complicated topic, but it's been a little easier this year. it's probably to do with both time and the fact that my adhd is being managed for the first time ever; it's common to have increased emotional regularity when that happens. I'm lonely, but I'm used to it, and things will go back to normal soon. It would be nice to have someone to spend it with. i don't know if it's in the cards for me. maybe next year.

I worry sometimes that I sabotage myself. Oh, I'm into this person, but they're in a relationship, or they're straight, or they're ace, or they live far away, or I work with them (as if any of those things are a hard limiter in all cases). I can find any excuse not to express my interest in someone. It's something I'm working with my therapist on.

As morose as this post is, I'm okay. today I'll mess around with my server project and go feed my friend's pets while he's away. I'll spend a lot of time thinking about this and distill my feelings down into something I can overlay onto a character; i see myself most clearly when I do it through a mask. I've got things to cook and a fridge to clean and an indoor bike to ride. There are people who care about me and it's important I try to remember that.

uh, happy holidays! i promise i am okay enough. please don't make me think about it any deeper than that. I really truly hope you have a good one.

#corgijournals!

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the-kipsabian · 2 years

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before i go to bed, since its ace week

hi. my name is night. im an aroace agender person

i dont connect with a gender. im physically a woman cause i dont know what i want from my body to actually look like, and getting treatment is behind a wall made out of loooooong time of doctors appointments and therapy and tests and whatnot. even more so for a person like me who has been diagnosed with mental issues before. however, that doesnt change the fact that i feel no connection to this gender, or any other - i mentally see myself just as a meat blob, having to just exist in this body without another option right now, tho what i physically look like on the outside rn does not represent how i actually feel. i know im genderless. im not a woman nor do i want to be, im also not a man nor do i wanna be that either. im also not a secret third option, im no option at all. im the 'opt out to not answer this question' button. the none of the other

im also very much an aromantic. ive had crushes before tho so ive thought for the longest time i might be demi. cause all my crushes came to be after a mental connection with these people were made. but it also never came with more than 'oh this person was nice to me at a time i really needed that, i like them and wanna maybe like be close to them and idk hold hands??’ but thinking back on it now, ive never actually like. felt romantic towards anyone. i have never been in love as far as im concerned. i dont like kissing, hugs and hand holding are reserved for people i care about closely but not in a sense where i wanna date them. or maybe i’d like to try, but i also know im never gonna love them as more than my friends. any kind of intimate bullshit is out of the question unless we’re close friends and mostly when i initiate. i think im incapable of feeling romantic love, but i dont think this is a bad thing in the slightest. i just view it as the necessary evil in a sense, where all the love i do got to give is the same for everyone regardless of our status and their gender etc., and its just a sign that we are friends. i have a love language, but its not romantic, i dont feel it, but i still show it to people who i deeply do care about. and thats okay

ive always been ace. i grew up always thinking everyone else was weird (and honestly kinda gross lmao) thinking about sex and kissing and boyfriends and girlfriends and i was just. idk in a sense trying to fit in. but i never leaned that way, i still dont - ive known for the longest time that i am sex repulsed, thats nothing new to me, which is why even as a supposed adult at the ripe age of 30 (lol) im still not getting into smut, like yeah that should be saying something. like this started when i was maybe like 12 or 13 and this kind of stuff started to pop up for the first time in my small friend circle, and i just never got into anything like that that a person my age was maybe supposed to. i was never interested. and one thing im thankful about having grown up the fucked up way i did is that i never dated. i never had to find out about my orientation that way. like maybe i spent a lot of time thinking i was a demi on this section too, just thinking that it was very normal for kids not to be that horny as i wasnt either - but i still couldnt get into the “horny” stuff kids my age were getting into. it was weird. but, i had all the time to think about it, and eventually when i got old enough to separate the sexual and romantic attractions and online became a place i could search on my own safely (yay first own laptop!) and more informative about this stuff, the labels just. kinda fell into my lap. and it made sense. ive made my peace about being this way a long time ago and i dont care what that makes me in someone elses eyes (for example, my mom thinks its better that im “supposedly ace” rather than i would date girls :))) ), i know who i am and how i am. and im ace. and you can have all the sex you want idc im not here to preach i just know thats not for me and i do not crave for it, not now, not ever, and never have

oh and also yeah i think my bio says flux in there, its a thing i was made aware of recently in my last identity meltdown few months ago, which is basically like. you are the base of these identities (in this case, aroace) but some times it might very slightly but noticeably fluctuate towards something else for a brief amount of time - so if you’ve ever seen one of my gay panic moments yeah it might be actual real gay feelings i have. i dont know, but it feels appropriate and accurate and even if its not, having a little label to pin on it like an asterisk helps my anxiety about it so. yeah. and thats the most important things

im not only writing this to make it clear who i am and what i am, but maybe someone will see this and know that no matter what they identify as and what they are, they are valid and loved. if nothing else, i love you 💜

#night is an absolute mess on main #aromantic #asexual #agender #im tagging this yay #if you have a problem block and move on im not listening to your negative shit on ace week #im here im queer i can be fucking loud about it if i want to fuck you #anyways love you i need to go to bed lmao #aaa

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shefromhouston · 1 year

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Ive always seen myself as a monogamous man. Cheating has never flattered me in the slightest sense. But lately my thoughts have not been the best with what's hindering my relationship. We've been together for what's about to be nine months in a week. She's a great women, her music taste is out of this world, real R&B head, she's compassionate and gentle, soft spoken, not about the clubbing life, stays in, saves money and works hard. But our sex life is not where it should be, she feels broken emotionally and sexually. I've tried to help and give her advice to what could allow her to express herself freely but it doesn't seem to be working. I do understand that sex isn't everything but as a man, it's very hard to have sex twice a week when she stays at my house for weeks on end before she goes home. I work from home and she is a nanny. Cooks, cleans and folds clothes without me even doing or saying anything. Buys small essentials for the house too. I've tried asking her to initiate and it's hard for her, im usually the one going for it and I get turned down a few times before she allows me to get her in the mood. What would you recommended?

well first off, she sounds absolutely amazing + i dont want to assume another woman has insecurities or has sexual trauma based off what you summarized…so i’m not gonna assume her drive is low due to anything negative. It could simply be just the way her drive naturally is, some people just don’t have a heavy sex drive, like myself, she may be demisexual or simply has low libido. Which isn’t wrong. but if her low libido is a problem for you, and physical touch/sexual expression seems to be a top love language for you, Maybe express to her very clearly that you would like to be intimate more…if it’s not something she feels comfortable with doing, which is OK, then maybe seeing other people should be an option. I don’t think anyone should have to increase their libido solely for the satisfaction of their partner or to keep them faithful…if you’re having thoughts then it’s best to give her the option to choose.

Also it doesn’t make you a bad person for desiring more sex, especially from the person you love/are committed to…it’s also OK to ask for more sex + if it does boil down to her holding herself back due to insecurities or anything work on expressing your desire/attraction outside just sex-if you don’t already- make her feel desired in more spaces than just sexual. increase fourplay, also if she doesn’t know how to come on to you, give her a way to signal you that she wants sex. In my first intimate relationship i would kiss his back or shoulder to let him know i wanted something bc i was too shy to say it + didn’t know how to initiate. But if none of this cultivates change…consider that it may be a deal breaker + break things off romantically.

#answered #i rather you dump me than cheat on me lolol

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aro-culture-is · 2 years

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hey im looking for advice here, dont feel obligated to answer this :)

im already in a romantic relationship and recently came out as ace to my gf and she was cool with it. but now im questioning if im aro aswell.

i dont think i want a romantic relationship with her anymore, but i still definatly want a close platonic one. my problem is that i cant tell if im aro or just dont love *her* romantically anymore. she's the only person ive really ever wanted a romantic relationship with, and even then im not sure if i was even romanticly attracted towards her. i already knew she had a "crush" on me, and looking back my feelings towards her and any past "crushes" felt fabricated or... dull? like i was *suposed* to feel something, or when i did im wondering now if it couldve just been craving close platonic affection.

im nd and out relationship has been extremely draining in the past, and also makes it hard to tell platonic vs romantic feelings in the past because i have a hard time describing past feelings

thank you for read :) i hope this isnt a bother to answer

hi,

i've been in a similar though different situation (same for everything except i also knew i was aro going into it and... thought we were on the same page on that too), and i'm mostly going to lean on my communication agenda and that experience to respond to you.

putting the facts into an order i think is important, based on your explicit statements: this relationship is draining for you. you don't think you want a romantic relationship with her, though you do want to maintain a close platonic relationship with her. you're nd and can have a hard time describing past feelings - and i wouldn't be surprised if that also occurs with current feelings.

(big mood, but 3 years ago)

I found that this ultimately meant I had to work on finding a way to safely express my feelings - that we should break up, and that I would like to remain close friends with my now-ex gf. for me, this was hard - I was balancing mental health for both of us, plus academic lives, and a long-distance situation. I ultimately decided that I had to initiate this conversation, and spent some time trying to take a step back and think of how she'd likely respond. Be cautious if you're prone to anxious thoughts - try to check in on what reactions you've seen them have and if this is actually similar. from there... honestly, you have to talk.

physical safety comes first: there is no universally wrong way to break up, imo. I don't know anything about your gf, so please don't be mad if i'm assuming the worst - my ex, while generally sweet, had severe problems with emotional regulation in situations like this, and in a disabled with trauma way. i recognized that she could, in a physical meeting where we were too close, respond with physical violence before she had time to process that urge. I chose to break up with her while at a physical distance, and near my car. For some people, physical safety is a necessary concern for their own self. i've also known a breakup where my concern was the physical safety of the other individual - in that case, follow a similar plan as to below, but for that individual.

emotional safety is next. if you can, let supportive others know beforehand that you're breaking up. friends, family, therapists, etc. it doesn't have to be the whole crowd, just whoever feels important and available. make sure you have some kind of set up that allows you to go to a safe place to feel your emotions, take a deep breath, and begin to move forwards afterwards. even if it's mutual, you probably will have some feelings to work through, and that's normal.

finally... I want to have a real moment. My ex and I talked so many times, for so long, about how we were going to remain friends if we broke up, and nothing would stop us from ensuring that happened. We haven't talked since I broke up with her. It happens sometimes. Try to have realistic expectations, and recognize that it might take a few weeks for emotions to return to a more baseline level between you - and if you haven't heard back, but haven't explicitly been told to fuck off, I'd say 2-3 weeks is an appropriate time to reach back out.

this is.... long. but i hope it helps to provide some perspective, address some scenarios that can be important to consider, and ultimately, provide a broad guideline for the process of breaking up with hopes of continuing friendship.

i hope this helps. more posts like this exist in the #advice tag.

mod kee

#Anonymous #not aro culture #not aro #like we're both aro or questioning #but honestly i don't think that's important to your immediate situation here #so i'm primarily filing this under #advice

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menalez · 2 years

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Hey so I really wanted to know your thoughts on SAM (the split attraction model). Before I discovered what comphet was and read about it, I identified as bisexual or bi-ace . . . Only to realize now that I’ve only ever been sexually attracted to women and only women, and that I was only ever truly “asexual” toward men. Yet, I have also had crushes on boys in the past. Most if not all of my TV crushes were male, and some do my strongest infatuations in my preteen and teen years were boys. I found them aesthetically attractive and wanted to be near them, until they actually got near me and then not so much. I have a suspicion that I liked the attention and validation and also just liked their nice faces, but I remember my first crush had me begging God on my knees to make the boy marry me. Yet when there was opportunity to so much as kiss him I was appalled. I also wonder if the reason I liked fictional men more than women was because they were written better, and if I didn’t consider my deep, love for my female friends and consuming interest in them as romance because it didn’t feel the same and I was taught to disregard it as friendly—it didn’t feel fast or flighty, but deep and all-consuming, like I was being eaten alive from the inside. It was passion.

I don’t know, maybe I’m not used to seeing women as full people and hence found them less interesting as characters and sometimes even irl, kinda like black people (as an African I resented African stories and had no interest and felt no spark in seeing African characters. I realize I’m just not interested in caricatures.)

I don’t know. I’m very conflicted. I have a desire for attractive men, but never sexual, and not even romantic. Kinda like I want to take their faces in my hands and stare, or rub noses. Or touch their smiles. Mainly sensual, but romantic? Sexual? I don’t think so, no.

sorry for dumping this on you, answer at your own leisure and comfort

(but I am also waiting with bated breath because I have been spiraling for days now)

idk anon i really can’t say for sure and whatever i tell u may be false bc how ur currently processing and understanding ur feelings isnt necessarily objective and ultimately you’ll come to a clearer conclusion on ur own. but ive never had tv crushes on males or been attracted to actors or found male characters interesting or prayed to god for a specific guy to marry me (imagining myself married to a guy, as i knew was expected to me, made me deeply depressed and feel trapped but i didn’t know why), and i definitely don’t want to hold a man’s face and stare at it and touch noses (im ok w holding a close gay male friend’s face but i don’t think id want to look particularly long and def not put our faces so intimately close) sooo i don’t rly relate to the stuff you mentioned. honestly figuring out my sexuality was also quite difficult for me bc it required me to rly think back to as far back as my young childhood & that made me realise that from a young age it was clear that there was one group that i was innately attracted to but another group that i knew i should be attracted to & thus would interpret discomfort and anxiety as meaning i was attracted to them (despite ultimately having 0 interest in them). i hope u do figure it out sooner rather than later bc i know it can be distressing to be unsure and conflicted on ur sexuality n feelings 😭

as for SAM, im totally against it. our sexual libido isn’t our sexual orientation, it can vary over time or due to certain experiences or from medication etc. sexual orientation is sth else and romantic & sexual attraction r more or less the same things broken down into specific feelings and preferences. i never thought much about “sensual attraction” tho but i feel like if u aren’t attracted to men as in they don’t make u horny, ur not sexually interested in them, u don’t want to date them, u can find them aesthetically pleasing at most but that’s about it and u always felt this way then ur probably a lesbian. but the stuff u mentioned sounds like weak attraction to men so idk?

#idk why but i just naturally gravitated towards women n responded to women whereas w men i was just. putting on a show almost #like i should be attracted to these guys so therefore i must be but even imagining anything between us was :( :/ 🤢

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prue84 · 3 years

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Warren Worthington III headcanons - Romantic life

Further headcanons. In this part, about Warren's romantic and sexual life.

Part I | Part II: romantic life | Part III: more powers | Part IV: his women

Under the read more so I can add more if they come to my mind. [Updated 08/12/2023]

Romantic life

The whole thing about him being a womanizer is mostly a myth. Sure, he had his fair share of enjoying his status of handsome rich single guy in his teens[*] and "playboy" has been one of his definitions along with billionaire and philanthropist, but he tends to be very monogamous: when he gets serious with a woman then he means it and stays with them unless life does something that fucks that relationship up. He’s never been hinted at flirting or hanging out with someone else after he got together with Candy back in school times. Then, besides his three big main/long relationships, and his unrequited love for Jean, any other romantic feelings he might’ve harbored... were fake and induced (Moondragon anyone?). That’s very, very canon. With Candy ended because she thought he was cheating on her with Jean (he and Jean were very tactile but it was a “man is best-friends with a woman of whom he was once in love with” scenario). With Charlotte ended because he was a broody blue Death Archangel trying to adjust to changes in his life and the thing fell apart. With Betsy the first time ended because he wanted to move things further and Betsy wasn’t ready (the whole “flirting with Neal” was the straw that broke the camel, not the main reason). The second because he felt betrayed by her**. I won’t mention his fling with Husk. I’m not a rabid hater (unless we talk about the “sex in the air right above momma Guthrie’s head”) but I feel we could remove that portion of his romantic life from Warren’s history and not miss/loose anything (although this pairing deprived us of more flirting and panel presence of Stacy X who was unceremoniously scraped off). They were attracted to each other out of the blue (especially him; Paige had every reason to be JUST physically attracted but he? They probably never shared a panel before since Gen X debuted), then together one moment, and the next they had fallen out and their relationship never be mentioned or hinted at again***. - [*] Actually, it’s not believable, as he had to hide his wings, and it would be quite hard to hide his wings during sex, since the harness reached down to his knees. It was believable, that Warren kept changing girls, in the 60′s (because he wouldn’t go beyond some heavy kissing or over the clothes petting), but not so much with today’s standards. Someone with the sexual life that Warren is canon-ed with, should have shown his wings around half of NY. Which would... well, cause all sort of problems when the X-Men debut and there’s a very white feathered winged guy flapping around. Any of her former lovers would immediately recognize Warren as the flying mutant of the X-Men.

Despite his playboy fame, he's not much for sleeping around. Not to say that when he's not involved he practices chastity, but he's not as a womanizer as people think he is.

He's (unwillingly) a gossip pet. Gossip magazines then and sites now publish all kind of shit on him - 90% of it is fake. Like all the women who claim on socials that they fucked with him. He doesn't know any of them.

Warren likes to woo. He's old fashioned and romantic as they come. He's the guy that pulls out the chair for his woman, he's a guy for slow dance on the notes of a piano melody, the guy who shows up with a limo to lead his woman to a romantic date. He's the guy who buys flowers and likes to make gifts of all kinds. When he was younger more than often overdid by choosing too much expensive gifts or proposing to make absurd purchases - to his defense, he's never been taught to look at the price tag, so he buys what he catches his eye or thinks his woman would like to get.

When he falls he falls bad. He's the guy who gets very smitten, to the point that at times looks and acts like an idiot.

He’s very loyal toward his exes or women he liked Back when he first met Dazzler, he stood by her side after she rebuffed him, ready to stay as a friend. Also, he went to help her around her back, not interested in buying her gratitude but out of generosity. At the same way, he didn’t shy away when Betsy needed him against the Shadow King in London and I trust he wouldn’t either if Captain Britain needed Warren Worthington CXO or Archangel the razor-sharp winged horseman in her Excalibur’s feats. His portrayal in the Dazzler’s miniseries was cringey at best. The clingy, stalker Warren was so OOC it hurt, plus he was depicted as a full damsel-in-distress incapable to hold his own despite at the time having already under his belt some years as X-Men and the - albeit short-lived - sting with the Champions. Too sad their friendship was never referenced to again. On Betsy and Astonishing X-Men (2017), it’s never explicitly said if they had rekindled their romantic relationship or not. I always thought they were back together (why would he be flying half-naked in Scotland if he wasn’t for Betsy’s presence in London?), they are very touchy, Betsy really entrusts herself to Warren and Warren is very protective of her during the heat of the battle. Also, there is Uncanny (2019): I outright refuse to think they weren’t a couple during that run. Although, now that I think about it, they could’ve returned together after Astonishing. Still, he acted like a protective boyfriend - they had to rekindle their relationship at some point after Uncanny X-Men when Archangel-glorified-drone-slash-Betsy’s-pet and incomplete-and-hurting-Warren merged.

He’s very loyal toward his exes or women he liked, part 2. Even though their relationship ended badly, and she was a too proud woman to accept his monetary help back at the times, Warren - fights, sentinels and other X-Matters permitting - has tried to keep himself informed about little Tommy. And, if only Charlotte wasn’t so stubborn (and rightfully sour with him), he would gladly give Tommy a generous scholarship, because what’s the point of being multi-billionaire if you can’t buy your friends and people you love a nice house and provide them some economic cushion so to make sure they will never have to worry about money for the rest of their lives? He and Charlotte eventually sorted things out and, while not best friends who often keep in touch, she knows he will always be there should she or Timmy need help. - When Warren discovered he had healing powers he offered to try to heal Timmy.

He leans toward assertive and confident women. His biggest loves involved independent and strong women who are his equal. Damsels in distress don't get his interest and he doesn't want to be a prince charming.

He doesn't feel emasculated if his women are stronger or more powerful than him. Grown up during his formative years with Jean Grey as the most powerful of a group of five has taught him to not consider it odd or embarrassing to get saved by a woman, nor to ask a woman for help.

He’s been Bobby’s wingsman for more than that time in L.A. It’s dangerous to bring an hottie like Warren to a gay bar as wingsman, but Warren has that attitude (a mix of smooth and matter-of-fact) that helps Bobby in his first dips into what is a new world for him (the “gay” world). Warren is a good shoulder and a good listener, isn’t busy with leading nor science-ing, so Bobby knows to whom to turn to to wine, complain or act like a moron in love who can’t stop babble about his new boyfriend. Warren tried everything (or at least people think he did) and has experience, so Bobby knows Warren won’t judge - he might poke and make fun but not when it truly matters. There’s one O-5er for every season, and Warren is perfect for that specific part of Bobby’s personal life.

Elizabeth Braddock has influenced his romantic life more than once. Warren has been drawn to Paige Guthrie by Betsy, who appeared to him in dream and convinced him to open up to love again. But Betsy's return eventually killed the relationship. While, surprisingly, the couple worked, the news of Betsy's miraculously and inexplicable resurrection affects their balance and leads to an amicable broke up. Paige has entered into the relationship knowing a part of Warren would always love Betsy. Paige also never expected to take Betsy's place either. But when Betsy is back, Warren's feelings are torn between what is and what has been - and could still be. Betsy's return opens up new possibilities, and Warren realizes that he can't give Paige what she deserves - not when he still, against all odds, hopes that he and Betsy could give each other another chance. Paige knew that she and Warren would fall out as soon as the news of Betsy's presence at the school reached them, so it didn't come as a surprise when Warren faced her about it. They've remained on speaking terms and, years later, there's still genuine affection between them.

Warren ultimate wish is marrying. During the wedding ceremony in which Brian Braddock and Meggan tied the knot, Warren started to toy with the idea that he and Betsy could move their relationship further. For months he pondered about finally asking Betsy, but he eventually understood that he and Betsy were moving to different paths. This eventually lead to his decision to their first break up. In Excalibur #125 there's a very inspiring panel in which Warren is seen watching Betsy during the wows. That Warren wished more is stated in X-Men #109, as the reason why he wants to break up with Betsy.

Sexual life

His wings reflect his emotions, part 2. Having sex with Warren is a bit... crowded. He has positions that are more comfortable for him, mostly involving him on top or standing. He really doesn’t like any position that require him to have his back on the bed (or against a surface), unless he has the space to unfold his wings without either knocking down things or hitting the walls.

His wings do magnificently spread when he orgasms.

When he says he needs a bigger space for his wings, he means it. During orgasm he might not control his wings, and a larger room for them has to be planned, when sexing him up.

His wings are not an erogenous zone. Unlike what people think, he can't come (nor even get an erection) if people work with his wings, or where they sprout from his shoulders.

He might be well endowed. Canon, as far as I can tell. There’s literally no other way to read this dialogue. Don’t ask me. I do need more of Charlie Huston on the matter.

He has tried pegging - and likely enjoyed it. Perhaps not with Candy, but surely he did with Betsy. She strikes me as the girl who doesn’t conform in sex like she never did in all other aspects of her life. So she would definitely want to try new and “strange” things in bed. Warren is likely more “average” in his approaches to sex, but if he trusts his significant other, is willing to try what they might want to try. He’s not that picky, he’s got an open mind. Besides, with a girlfriend who is a telepath, he knows is in good hands.

Headcanon on how the thing was discovered. The O5 are hanging around, chilling out between a decimation and an attack to their kind (and they still have a decent characterization of long-time friends, not this Krakoa/Hickman’s emotionless cold shit; picture Astonishing X-Men (vol 4) Annual dynamics to reference but with Scott too). Bobby laments about his recent flirt and how his sex life is going as bad as is former-hetero one, which means score zero, and confesses his fears about hitting last base (penetration). They might be a bit tipsy, so relaxed Warren, without even thinking, throws a “it doesn’t hurt like they say”. Which makes all eyes turn on him in a WTFF?!? How does he know?. Bobby, screeching: “When I was having a crisis because I lusted over your hot body and felt ashamed for the very same reason I lusted over my friend, you went around and tried gay sex, Warren?? And I have to discover it NOW? I feel BETRAYED!!” because Warren-I-hit-every-woman-I-meet who gets hot gay sex before him, the gay mutant who had to be outed by a teen version of Jean Grey else he would still be living in that closet? Totally classic. Warren goes all “oh, come on, I was trying to keep my mutation a secret at the time, remember? A bit hard to do that while on four and raising my ass up for someone, don’t you think?”. Jean, after a shocked gasp mixed with a choked hiccup, is so, so offended because she still holds the title of Warren’s biggest/closest friend so she totally should’ve known, bad Warren, I won’t let you paint my nails anymore! If Scotty and/or Hank want to feel a bit flustered at the image, that’s up to you (and your level of bi-ness for them). Then it’s obviously four mutants (including two Omega) ganging up on Warren to know when and how they didn’t know. Jean has that wicked look that promises no good - “And no, Jean, keep your telepathic paws away from my head”. “So, a sapiens?” because they certainly would know if he fucked with a mutant: 100% it would be a current or former X-Men - please say it wasn’t Logan during your super secret killing-squad phase, please not Logan. “Wait? What about a super secret killing-squad? What do do you mean” “Shh, Jean, later!” But Warren shakes his head: this guess who? game is getting ridiculously funny. If he forgets the fact about one of his best friends putting him with Wolverine - just no, he doesn’t like short and furry anyway. “Was he a mutant?” Warren doesn’t completely agree on that, making a hnnnn. “Not a mutant? But you just-” “WARREN KENNETH WORTHINGTON I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!” because Jean has a very perverted mind and is now picturing very unpleasant and possibly illegal-in-most-of-US-States images. “... was it a male bird? That would make totes sense” “Bobby!!” cried by Scotty, who’s getting very, very embarrassed. Hanks derails the argument by reminding Bobby that avians don’t have penises to start with so no, Warren couldn’t have penetrative sex with a bird technically speaking, but actually there is a species of- luckily Jean TK-muzzles Hank’s mouth before this can get even more cringe. Warren is all outraged because for whom did they take him? Besides, he has tastes. “... so was it Sam Wilson, wasn’t it?” which is totally something Bobby would say, and hey, Sam is both and neither a man, since he’s a supes, and also has wings - sort of. And that would also explain why Warren was never invited to the Avengers. Because other winged guys he can think of, are either cringe or barf or other shades of no-no-n.o. and, well, Asgardian horses. Warren gets all miffed because he doesn’t get hot for a pair of wings, you know? - cue someone to remind him about Avia, because he looked very, very much hot for that gal, didn’t he? Yes yes, he truly did. Wings here certainly likes those wings, ah ah. And Bobby, with the help of Hank, probably goes on a cringe imitation of how Warren and another winged-superhero would compliment and droll on each other’s wings, “How big are your wings” and “How sharp is your vibranium feather” and “I love how your light wings look” and similia. Scott steps in because now they are bullying Warren. Besides, he wants to get to the juicy parts: who. Yes, he might look all stoic but behind his visor he wants to know as much as the other three. Mostly because he can’t believe it Warren managed to keep it a secret for god-knows how long! Warren plays mysterious for some more, while the four go insane trying to decipher the hints (Warren is partnered with basically every male Warren might’ve smiled at in his life since coming to Xavier’s school), until he confesses that he was pegged. So no, actually it was no man who deflowered him - five twin cringes at the term. If Jean gets a bit flustered and horny at the very detailed image of Betsy (which is one sexy girl, Asian or British bodies alike) pegging that one specimen of (mutant) man that is Warren her mind offers, it’s not up to you but actually a fact. As is Bobby’s grimace because hm, yeah, gross, but also, I’m suspiciously horny, but such a loss and Warren is still gay-virgin, thumbs up! If Scott takes Warren aside and asks him if pegging is good and worth it, because he’s now curious, it’s again not up to you but a fact. (But, seriously, Emma might’ve pegged him at least once - let’s ignore this for headcanon/plot reasons. Or straight ignore he ever been with Emma, if that’s your cup of tea)

He doesn't like restraints. Betsy suggested it once, and they did try, but he just can't. Seeing cuffs lock around his wrists immediately took him back to the Morlocks alley, when Callisto kept him bonded and sedated. He agreed to let Betsy help him overcome this fears of his but didn't work: as soon as the cuffs are placed around his writs he gets antsy and can't relax, no matter how much Betsy tried to coax his body or sooth him with tender caresses. Once they rekindled their relationship, and with Betsy now exerting full control on her telekinetic powers, they tried once again, this time with Betsy using her own TK to restrain Warren; surprisingly, this way his old trauma is not triggered and he discovers he actually enjoys being restrained by his partner - or, at least, by Betsy (he never had the chance to try to someone else).

He is a convinced strictly hetero, but if he got the chance he might’ve tried getting or giving a blowjob/handjob. Not much my coup of tea, but I once read a fanfiction that made me change my mind on this. I buy Tangerine’s painting of Warren helping Bobby out with overcoming his fears on gay sex by offering himself. For science and friendship. Because Warren is not only generous with his money.

He's pretty easy about sex. He doesn't have specific preferences. As long as he's comfortable and his wings not constrained, any position is fine for him.

He's more than willing to let his woman pick the position.

He likes it when his women top him. He isn't that insecure to feel emasculated if his lover asserts some command - in bed or outside.

He's open to (almost) anything. If his partner suggests they try something new, he usually goes for it unless he already tried it in the past and didn't like it. Although he might decide to give it another try and see if perhaps his opinion might change.

He did mid-air sex. Given his specific powerset, he can have sex in mid-air, and he did a couple of times. The first time was with Candy, the first woman to know about his mutation and embrace it. (Let’s collectively pretend Warren didn’t have mid-air sex with Paige over Mama’s Guthrie’s head. I welcome mid-air sex. But in privacy, where nobody can see them. It’s not something I see Warren indulging - and not Husk either, I think. Especially not over the heads of her family!)

He didn't do anything of what gossip saucy sites claim he did. No, he didn't took part to orgies either.

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*Seriously, will someone fix this? Is ABSURD that neither in House/Power of X, nor in Dawn of X we got any author dwell in the relationship. The whole "Betsy meets alternate!Warren and confesses she fears Warren's feelings about her new-original body" isn't enough and is actually some depressed bullshit that Warren should just slap out of Betsy's mouth RIGHT NOW. ** Isn't it curious that on the fated mission during House of X in which Warren dies immediately after landing, takes part Paige - who is the only other victim in that landing?

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Originally this and previous part had been published as one - I split the two in September 2022, but elected to modify the post's date to the original date in which I made the posts.

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Crossposted Dreamwidth: prue84.dreamwidth.org/69301.html Livejournal: prue84.livejournal.com/79271.html

#X-Men #Angel #Archangel #Warren Worthington III #WarrenBetsy #AngelPsylocke #Headcanons

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thisisanude · 1 month

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like i love him so much i can’t imagine a life without him ive been so sure about him being in my future for so long now i mean we’re almost at 5 years and there were small parts of our relationship where i became uncertain mostly that one late summer/fall where i was posting a lot on this… but aside from those few months ive been so sure that we would be together forever. and after those few months ended and we fixed things for the most part and he got less mentally ill or. more like stopped projecting his mental illness on me. but now it’s just like. even weirder because those few months i was distancing myself from him and i feel like he could tell and he was trying to be better and then the next few months after that he was like genuinely the best boyfriend ever. and THEN when he HIMSELF brought up the fact that i want to fuck women and he was like yes you should do it that was when i was like i want to marry this man on the spot rn. and then he changed his mind )-: how could he change his mind again! he seemed so sure this time he seemed so confident in our relationship and so comfortable and trustworthy. and i don’t know what changed. i don’t i really don’t but i regret not making the situation work for him because i remember thinking this is my chance i don’t wanna blow it i need to make sure he doesn’t regret changing his mind he needs to be happy in his decision i need to be the best gf ever i need to make him horny from the fact not jealous. however i didn’t really try that hard and then he changed his mind and i regret asking him about it when he was in a bad mood because maybe he would’ve been more understanding if i asked him about it in a good mood. i literally feel crazy like im begging my boyfriend to fuck a woman and of course he’s gonna feel jealous but God why can’t i have both. i really feel like i need both. and every time we have a disagreement now im like wow i should break up with him because i want to fuck women but really the things we fight about are minor. sometimes he’s mentally ill and i’ve learned to not really be bothered by it and then he gets over it and apologizes and i don’t apologize unless i genuinely feel like i’ve done something wrong and i wonder if me being less concerned and more like just Ok whatever makes him feel like i don’t care about the relationship. it’s honestly also the fact that if i have more reasons to break up with him other than just i need to have lesbian sex or else i can’t live a fulfilling life and if he’s doing a bunch of stuff wrong and being annoying and starting fights over small things and not being understanding and empathetic then he’s not the same guy i fell in love with and i should leave anyway. because i cannot imagine a world where i break up with him for the sole reason of needing to fuck women and then not regret it. i would 10000% regret it. but the thing is. i would be in so much pain regardless! if he truly did a lot of things wrong and didn’t apologize and it got worse than it is now and i broke up with him i would be so sad i would be devastated. i’m in love with him ive never felt this way before i thought i was in love in my past relationship but that wasn’t even close to how i feel now. i want to build a future with him how could i want to tear that all down? the thing is i want to build a future with perfect him the nice him when he’s not being super mentally ill and also when he’s comfortable in our relationship and our trust to allow non monogamy. i literally WISH SO BAD he was even attracted to other people but ofc he has to be demi sexual so only sexually attracted to people he is romantically attracted to. that is not the case at all for me so that’s really unfortunate that we can’t relate at all on this topic. and what if he was doing a bunch of stuff wrong and i broke up with him and then all i could think about is when he was so good and all the times he’s helped me and all the times he was a great boyfriend. and all the times i wasn’t the best girlfriend. because of course im not perfect either but i never really pick fights idk

#mine #love #dc #monogamy

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noxiatoxia · 2 years

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heyy yyits been a while

ngl i ran out of hikakao hcs/scenarios. i cant think of anything,, so if u have any please share i want to talk about them but i have nothing in my brain. brain empty

ALSO i want to play sonic now i keep seeing post about it and im like Damn i want to play a sonic game. never been able to play one because ive never been fortunate enough to own a nintendo device, like a ds or a switch. def would've LOVED sonic if i did have one when i was younger, considering how much i love the guy now. unfortunately i have No Money. Sad

also this is unrelated but i really like tetris i like tetris a lot. i play tetris for hours on end recently,, i even started playing it in my head any second my mind wanders. every time i close my eyes, my brain is fitting together those colored blocks. its a lifestyle now, one ill never escape. but thats ok im a little autistic and i like tetris. life is good

HEY it's ok dude i get it!! sincerely just Thankful somebody has as much brain rot as me abt them

I guess I'll take this moment to ramble a teeny bit about them. So the other day I was on a JP doujin site reading this hikakao doujin and I was like "Oh I've seen this one before but in English. Where's the english one" and i almost went searching for it till i realized that. there is no english translation I just can read/understand Japanese so I've read it before and understood it and that translated into my head as "it must have been in english" which is so wild to me. gaslit myself into believing there was an eng version of this doujin bc i can read japanese.

The other thing I've been thinking about is the ship itself and how I like to perceive it.... believe it or not I have rather complicated feeling on it. As in, there's a LOT of thoughts I have about hikakao as a ship. Obv there's the straight forward romantic "they're in love your honor" way WHICH I don't mind not at all, I like it. But I think my favorite dynamic is?? hard to pin point. So ok, in my head, I don't think they see each other (or would ever really see each other) as "boyfriends" or even romantically? But their relationship is def more than platonic. Basically some weird queer shit is happening idk. They're each other's closest and most important person, they are closer than most COUPLES are with each other but they don't see each other as lovers. But they do all those gay things, depending on how I feel I want to portray them sometimes it's just they kiss sometimes bc they're that close with each other and other times it's like. yeah they fuck. But either way it's like. They always see each other as brothers and nothing "more", but "brothers" to them is this very very weird thing. It's what most people would consider "dating" and "lovers" but that's not how they see it. Is this making sense.

I think this fanfic is the closest adaptation to what I'm trying to describe here, it's short but rlly fucking good. But it's a really interesting take on their relationship and tbh? I think I vibe with this the most. They're not "in love" but they love each other, and people on the outside might not see a difference. I guess it comes down to the fact romantic/platonic attraction is a spectrum, and Hikakao lies in some weird gray era.

Of course tho I love the ship in all forms, even strictly only platonic/familial, cuz I guess my interpretation isn't too far off, just a little more "questionable" (lol).

And idk your thoughts on tamahikakao, or haruhikakao, but I love both those ships, too. I have VERY complicated feelings on both much like hikakao itself so if you wanna know more I'll let you know >u< but ANYWAYS yeah, I'm obsessed with these co-dependent weirdos, love 'em (and for anybody new here reading this I think it should be common fucking sense but I do not support incest in real life bc what the fuck)

About SONIC!!! I could talk literal hours. I have before to my friends. Sonic was my first and oldest special interest, the series is so dear to my heart. I don't know EVERYTHING of course, I think that's impossible, but I'm close. I know so much useless facts/watched all the shows + movies/played the games (not all of them, also broke + i suck at sonic games hilariously)/read the comics/etc etc. My favorite sonic games growing up, hilariously, we're not any of the main line games. I always loved the spin-offs. My absolute favorite was Dr. Robotnik's mean bean machine. I played that sooo much, beat it multiple times. It's literally just puyopuyo reskinned. Otherwise, I LOVED Sonic Fighters, Sonic 3D Blast, Sonic R, Sonic Riders and Shadow the Hedgehog. Some may say I have bad taste but I say everyone just doesn't fucking know how good these games were /lh (altho I will defend Shadow the hedgehog to the grave I LOVED that game)

Of course I played all the other major titles, the genesis games, Colors, generations, black night/secret rings, unleashed, etc etc even 06, which back then as a little kid even I knew it wasn't very good... it just wasn't that fun to play.

OH I almost forgot the handheld games. I sadly didn't get to experience the ones outside of the Gems Collection for gamecube, so the GBA/DS ones I never really got a chance to play except Sonic Battle (LOVED THIS ONE TOO), Sonic Rush, and Sonic Chronicles which... was a VERY interesting game that confused me a lot as a kid but I still liked it (basically Sonic JRPG)

someday here, I plan to buy the Sonic Advanced titles, since outside of Sonic Ultimate Flash (that fanmade game) I never got to really play them. I like playing on actual hardware, and I have a DS Flashcart, so I can play any DS game, but GBA games I cannot.... maybe I'll get a GBA flashcart if they exist and aren't too pricey.

If you're like me and don't like playing on PC emus bc it's just better to play on actual hardware, all I can really suggest is save up for a ds + a ds flashcart. Otherwise, if you have an Xbox system or Play Station, I know quite a few sonic games are on those! Sonic Heroes (forgot to mention, love this one too) is on the OG Xbox, and Shadow the Hedgehog + Unleashed are on PS2. And of course there's many on Xbox360/PS3, and so forth. So if you have those systems look into what Sonic games there are!!

And of course you can always just read the new IDW comics (much better than the Archive comics IMO, up to issue 52 rn. It's SO good, the story and the new characters are just amazing.

Also, I love tetris, too :) It's a fun calming game for me. Also it's got that sick music, obviously. I have Tetris Plus for the gameboy and play it when I get bored, but I wish I had the OG tetris bc I don't think Plus has the music... it's been a long time, tho. Dr. Mario is another game I have and am kinda obsessed with tbh. Ah good memories man

#;noxiatalks2ya

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jemmo · 2 years

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what's one thing about pat and pran you wanted to rant about but still didn't?

oh dear anon you have well and truly opened a can of worms here. i think there are like a million tiny things about patpran that i havent ranted about yet, like little aspects to their dynamics or specific headcannons i have for them. but seen as im being give the opportunity, youre putting down the soapbox for me, i felt like i had to think carefully. tumblr is telling me its been 8 hours since i got this ask and believe me, i have non stop been going through the filing cabinet in my head of patpran rants looking for a good one. then i remembered that i wanted to talk about something, so here we go.

ive seen people talk before about how much they love the fact that, when pat has his realization, he doesnt go into any kind of gay crisis. his mind is going through a lot, but i dont think any of those thoughts are 'oh god i like a boy wtf am i gay what is this its weird gross ew'. im not saying his revelation has no affect on how he views his sexuality, i think its just that its not that shocking to him bc hes just so fine with it yknow. like if someone came out to him he wouldnt even do a double take, and so he doesnt for himself. hes more like oh cool moving on, very much so concerned with acting on his feelings. like i dont think it even crosses his mind to have an identity crisis, he just needs to tell pran, like, now.

anyway this is all to say that i love how this attitude manifested in ep 7 in a more physical way. bc throughout the series we've seen that pat is fine with physical contact and closeness, but it wasnt inherently sexual or romantic at that point. but now it is, you can just tell, whenever theyre near there are sparks just because of their proximity. and the thing is, not only is pat ok with that, but he more so than pran initiates and encourages physical intimacy with that implicit meaning. he takes his shirt of twice, openly invites pran to look at him in a sexual way, encourages pran to touch him, and even outside those moments in the curry scene at the start and the face cleaning scene, pat is the one to touch pran's face. and i just think it fits pat's character so well that there is no hesitance in the exploration of his sexuality, not emotionally or physically. its just so plain and simple and i think thats really something ppl should see and deserve to see. that this man is like 'oh ok i like this boy, i want to touch this boy, i want this boy to touch me too... cool'. pat is a creature that follows his instincts, lives moment to moment and i just love that liking pran for him was like finally putting in the last piece of a puzzle, bc now that its complete, its not like hes wondering 'hmm i wonder if that was the right piece, does it fit right', bc the picture is clear and it makes perfect sense and theres no need to fret over or overthink or analyse any of it. and it screams so loudly this whole meant to be, destined to be together vibe they have, like the universe itself was created so they could be with each other.

anyway, im rambling and getting off topic, but as i was talking about ep 7, i wanna end it with this. in all of pran's flirtations and advances, very contrary to the finger licking incident at the end of ep 7, all of his flirting, seduction, insinuation is verbal. he is the absolute king of dropping lines so laced with romantic and sensual meaning that absolutely ruin pat. but think about all the flirting we see in ep 7, in none of them does pran touch pat without pat starting it. even in the library when pran is very much getting up in pat's personal space, he leverages himself on his arm, traps pat in and dangles himself in front of pat without touching. this says a lot to me about both of them. firstly, that i think pran knows that pat is attracted to him, plain and simple. bc its so easy with these two to talk about their star crossed, written in the stars, decided by fate love. but i love that in these moments you can see there's plain and simple attraction, like pat's face sometimes screams 'i find you so hot and attractive' and like yes looks arent everything but i love that in their relationship that can be so deep and complex, sometimes its as simple as were both really attracted to each other, bc that is a part of any good relationship too. and the fact pran uses it as leverage in his flirting is excellent. secondly, it shows how pran is the more reserved one, the one more reluctant to end this bet, bc hes so comfortable with talking the talk, but walking the walk is a whole other thing, and he's only comfortable with that when invited into it by pat, when in his mind he can be certain that this is a game, and he is free in the game, and this physical intimacy doesnt have to mean anything. i talked before about how pran can truly express himself when his mind switches off and he allows himself to act in the moment, and this applies here too. there's too many mental barriers stopping him from instigating a physical interaction, but when caught up in the moment, swept up on the fun of the game and being with pat, he doesnt have to overanalyse his actions and therefore he can be physically intimate.

and i love how this whole physical vs non-physical battle plays out. i love that, while he wont touch pat, he'll touch wai and make a show of it bc he knows thats something he's keeping from pat at the moment. he is well and truly keeping that card close to his chest, dangling it right in front of pats nose that he'll put his arm around him at the rugby practice and wipe his mouth at the noodle place. its more than just jealousy that pran is touching wai, its an absolute power move. pran is literally like i wont instigate any physical intimacy with you, but look at me drape myself all over wai, and let it stir up all that jealousy, let it make you angry, let it be the thing that breaks you bc you do desperately want me to touch you, and for that touch to be of my own accord. and then he does, right at the end, the first initiation of physical touch by pran is him wiping pats mouth, right after he made his confession by feeding him. it shows that he's now allowing himself to initiate bc he is comfortable with it, he doesnt need there to be any excuses of a game and neither does he have to withhold that from pat for the sake of winning. there are no winners and losers anymore, just a boyfriend that he can touch whenever he wants and who will touch him in return. and i cant wait to see this whole thing blossom into the most beautiful and adorable displays of casual intimacy so i can throw up over how in love they are.

#wow turns out i really did have things to rant about #im telling you if you give me the opportunity i will always deliver #and once i start typing about one thing my mind just goes and goes #spirals and spirals down rabbit hole after rabbit hole #i dont want to read this back bc i have no clue how coherent it is #this is legit just stream of conscious rambling about patpran i hope u delivered dear anon #bad buddy #patpran #made by jemmo

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babesonly · 3 years

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fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS.

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny.

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

An ethics lesson from Hell

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want?

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god.

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

472 notes · View notes

enamouredfae · 3 years

Text

♡ Pick a Card ♡

Advice from your Spirit Guides!

This reading is for entertainment purposes only.

This is a timeless reading for the collective, therefore it is likely that some messages will not resonate with you. Please only take the messages that do! The messages that do not, are meant for somebody else. Remember that the future is never set in stone and that you possess free will! Love you! ♡

Pile 1

Charm: Shell

You may see shells as signs from the universe. You may have Venusian placements. You have a tough exterior, but once you finally open up to people you are a hidden gem! You are a person that values privacy.

Flower: Carnation

The meaning of carnation changes depending on its colour, since this one is a stripped purple carnation, it symbolizes rejection/refusal and capriciousness. It being a dry bud, for me at least, symbolizes that this is a small issue that isn't likely to grow! You might've been refused a caprice recently, or you may have too high expectations that are likely not going to be fulfilled.

Significator: Page of Cups

Self-sufficient is the word I thought of when I saw this card. I think that at the moment you are really starting to work through your emotions, you might be finally doing some introspection, journaling, talking to people, seeing a therapist, etc. You are beginning a journey of emotional growth. You might also be receiving a message soon, be aware of any symbols that matter to you or ask the universe for certain symbols for guidance.

Astro: Virgo and Capricorn

There is a high chance that you have Virgo or Capricorn placements. You may be earth dominant. You may be Mercury/Saturn dominant/ruled. This could also apply to the person you need advice on if that is the case.

I thought of soil when I saw these cards, not a plant, but very well-nourished soil. It seems like you are making a foundation for yourself that is not rooted in anyone else, it simply comes from you. You are the soil, the water, the nutrients, and your future self is the plant. Flower crowns may be significant to you as well, or you may find great healing by connecting with nature and connecting to nature's cycles.

What you need advice on:

VI of Wands and X of Pentacles (reversed)

There are a few possibilities I see here. You may be having a hard time getting your accomplishments noticed by others, you might not receive the praise you desire or feel you deserve. Another possibility is that you may have a hard time feeling successful due to your financial situation. You may have received a large sum of money that should make you happy, but it doesn't. You may be very well off financially, but it is causing some hardships, and others might not understand these hardships because they think that they'd be very happy in your position.

Advice:

King of Pentacles and XVIII. The Moon

I feel like at least one of you should monetize your intuition. Some of you have or will meet a person (very likely an earth placement), that is either a business partner or a lover/friend, that will somehow help you with your financial issue. They might recommend you to someone for example. Perhaps if you confide in the King of Pentacles, they'll help you immensely, they're someone you can rely on, if not financially, emotionally. Others should embody the King of Pentacles, be determined, stick to a routine. For others, someone could be hiding smth from you that would help you immensely with this issue. Listen to your intuition! Do not forget that your anxieties and fears are valid, and it is normal to be feeling like this! Your worth is not defined by your financial success!

38. Willow and 5. Cerato and Honeysuckle

Willow talks about self-responsibility: make a plan, stick to it and, most importantly, try to stop complaining. You have the strength to get through this, complaining just engrains it in your head that you have a problem making it harder to get out of that mindset, instead try working on the solution. Cerato talks about the fact that no matter how many people you ask, no matter how many books you read, your gut knows best! Trust yourself and your intuition. Whatever feels right, is! Just know that domestic happiness is very important right now, cherish whoever that may be (King of Pentacles perhaps), be it your cat or even yourself if you live alone, give and accept affection! This could be a message for a specific person but I feel called to note that as I was shuffling the oracles I started singing "Runaway" by Aurora. Perhaps the lyrics are meaningful to one of you, or it can reassure you that this pile is meant for you if this is your favorite song.

Pile 2

Charm: Cactus

You may see cacti as signs from the universe or have a very strong emotional attachment to them due to a certain memory. I feel like a lot of people are attracted to you, but they feel that you will reject or hurt them if they get too close. Or you consciously or subconsciously hurt people when they get too close. You might think you don't deserve love, which is NOT TRUE. Love isn't something that has to be deserved! But if it were, you most certainly deserve it!

Flower: Freesia

Yellow freesias symbolize joy, renewal, and friendship. It is the go-to flower to convey to someone that you trust them. You are incredibly trustworthy, someone to whom your loved ones come for advice. You are a great listener, are very delicate and tactful in your interactions with others.

Significator: IX. The Hermit

You are doing a lot of self-reflection right now, sometimes the pondering even turns into daydreams. You may also be connecting with and thinking about your spiritual/religious beliefs. You are looking to understand the light that illuminates your path. You may have started meditating, or you should start! Spiritual awakening is happening or coming soon! You could be isolating yourself at the moment as well.

Astro: Jupiter and Libra

There is a high chance that you have Libra or Sagittarius placements. You may be air dominant. You may be Jupiter/Venus dominant/ruled. This could also apply to the person you need advice on if that is the case.

The words that I kept thinking about at this point in the reading were "letting karma do its job" and "visions of the future". You may be clairvoyant! But most of you act a lot like the Justice tarot card, you like balance and fairness, and have a life philosophy based on these ideas. Your higher education might've played a big role in this.

What you need advice on:

II of Cups (reversed) and Queen of Swords

Someone may be rationalizing or overthinking a perceived imbalance in a relationship. Of course, the Queen of Swords, likely an air placement, is intelligent, they may be right in their thinking but because of the advice received, I believe their judgment is clouded by insecurity. They may feel unworthy of what they receive, seeing that you chose the cactus charm and have libra as an astro card, it is very likely that this is you but this may be your person as well, both options are possible.

Advice:

King of Cups and IV of Swords (reversed)

See, the King of Cups is upright, this person, very likely a water placement, is very emotionally mature, compassionate, and understanding. Whereas the swords person is exhausted and stagnant due to the deep contemplation happening. I feel they may also be insecure, causing the overthinking. If this is you, trust me, you deserve the King of Cups! If this is your person, make them realize that they deserve you! They need a lot of reassurance.

1. Agrimony and 7. Chestnut Bud and Morning Glory

Love, whether romantic or platonic, requires hard work, determination, and affection. Agrimony talks about a person that needs balance, both inside and outside. You may find it by showing more of yourself, especially by starting with your loved ones. Because you might not be used to it, start little by little, and observe how accepting those you love can be. Chestnut Bud talks about focus and learning from experience. For me, it's another confirmation that someone is overthinking, see the girl looking very melancholic, whereas their counterpart is goofing around. Don't take life too seriously! Have fun with your loved one!

Pile 3

Charm: Leaf

You might see certain trees or leaves as signs from the universe. When I picked up this charm I immediately thought "Leave!" So if you were thinking about a voyage, there's your sign, just be mindful of covid regulations, please. The idea of falling also popped up, so you might be falling for someone rn or feeling like you're in a perpetual fall emotionally.

Flower: Orchid

I would just like to point out that, although this orchid dried white, it was actually a baby purple orchid when alive. I will therefore explain both colors: purple orchids represent royalty, admiration, and respect, whereas white ones symbolize purity and innocence. But they are, no matter what color, always a symbol of luxury, delicate beauty, and virility.

Significator: 0. The Fool

You may be starting smth new with confidence, smth you haven't done before, making you a bit inexperienced, but still willing to take the leap of faith. OR you may be acting foolishly by looking back or the opposite way of the thing you'd do with confidence. Let me explain, as you can see the Astro cards are both looking in one direction, with determination, and confidence. Whereas The Fool is looking the opposite way. Your significator may be saying that you're being foolish to look the other way, wondering what-ifs.

Astro: Sagittarius and Mars

There is a high chance that you have Sagittarius, Aries, or Scorpio placements. You may be fire dominant. You may be Jupiter/Mars dominant/ruled. This could also apply to the person you need advice on if that is the case.

You have a clear goal that you can easily reach through your actions. Look at Mars' demeanor, he knows Sagittarius is hitting the target. Do not doubt yourself, there's nothing to worry about. Stay focused!

What you need advice on:

XI. Justice (reversed) and Queen of Cups

Clearly, there is a decision to be made here, and you really want to listen to your heart. And you're questioning whether you should? I just want to reassure you, the Queen of Cups is highly in tune with their intuition and their emotions, you should trust yourself.

Advice:

X of Swords (reversed) and II of Pentacles

You are clearly in pain, whether or not it is talking about this decision that is eating you up. Healing and recovery are important right now! It's time to stop resisting an inevitable end, and start recovering. Look, the reversal allows for the swords to just fall out of your back, just look inwards! Don't forget to balance work with fun, you deserve to relax! Another way to see this is that you are restricting yourself by seeing this as a choice, why not do both? Although, if we are talking about people here, there better be a mutual agreement on polygamy! I will not invite you to cheat! If we are talking about activities, you are capable of doing both if it's too hard to choose, you just need to figure out how to balance them. A specific message is that some of you want to go back to doing smth you've dreamt of doing as a child, if that is the case, pls do it, at least as a hobby!

13. Gorse and 32. Vine and Trumpet Gentian

There is a need to heal some inner wounds. I immediately thought of inner child work when I saw the Trumpet Gentian in combination with the Vine. Vine talks about acts of service and leadership skills, try parenting yourself/your inner child, give yourself the love that you may have lacked as a kid. You are worthy of it! Gorse is all about perspective and imagination. Do a brainstorming of possible outcomes depending on the decision you take, you can do this alone, but the input of loved ones that can be honest with you would do wonders. Don't forget your future can go in many different ways, and whichever decision you take is the right one!

Pile 4

Charm: Angel

You may see angels or angel numbers as signs from the universe. You are a person that is divinely guided and divinely protected. It seems to me like you have a very strong intuition or are very aware of your divine gifts.

Flower: Rose

Of course, roses are always symbolic of love. Therefore I believe it is more note-worthy here to talk about the size. This is a tiny rose. Just like the carnation bud, it did not have time to grow and is now immortalized in its youth stage. You may be inexperienced in love, or hold naive beliefs about it. You might be experiencing youthful romance right now.

Significator: XV. The Devil

What I find interesting here is that you got the angel charm with the devil significator. This is very conflicting energy. The sentence that I kept thinking throughout the reading is "wolf in sheep clothing" or "sheep in wolf's clothing", I kept mixing up the words, just very contradictory energy. The way you present yourself to the world is very different from how you truly are. You might also be a person prone to obsessing over people, things, interests, etc. I also would like to note here that this pile was the hardest to get the cards, the amount of shuffling I did here until the cards flew made me sweat hahaha. It's also a very confusing reading. Therefore, I believe you carry a lot of confusion yourself, although your intuition is incredibly powerful, you might suffer from being very paranoid, and sometimes being unable to differentiate your intuition from your delusions. I also think you're very secretive, you do not want people to know or understand you.

Astro: Neptune and Moon

There is a high chance that you have Pisces or Cancer placements. You may be water dominant. You may be Neptune/Moon dominant/ruled. You could have a Neptune/Moon aspect. This could also apply to the person you need advice on if that is the case.

"This is a time of great psychic sensitivity for you. Trust your intuition and follow its guidance." You should try to differentiate emotions from intuition, I know it's hard, but they are different things, and it's very important to tell them apart! Your dreams may hold messages, try having a dream journal and interpreting them if you don't do that already.

What you need advice on:

IX of Wands (reversed) and V of Swords (reversed)

As you can see ALL of the tarot cards I've received in this reading are reversed, implying inner conflicts that require inner change/work. You might've said/done smth you now regret, and you hate yourself for it, you may also be incredibly paranoid that others will find out. You want the paranoia to end. You want to make amends, to reconciliate/atone, but are unsure on whether you should do it. Perhaps you don't feel emotionally prepared to reopen that wound.

Advice:

V. The Hierophant (reversed) and VII of Wands (reversed)

What I noticed here is that The Hierophant mirrors The Devil, not as perfectly as The Lovers, but it is incredibly similar. Once again that energy of opposition, contradiction, and confusion appears, "the wolf in sheep's clothing". For some, my fixation on this phrase could be a warning. For others an invitation to look in the mirror... Try looking at the situation from the other person's point of view! I'm not saying you are a "wolf in sheep's clothing", but that might be how you're being perceived. You are exhausted, remorse is eating up all of your energy. The Hierophant is saying that you should stay true to your personal beliefs, so if you believe apologizing is necessary to move on, do it!

This could be unrelated and for a specific person, but don't be afraid of challenging the status quo! If it hurts none, do as you will, embody your true self! I just want to remind you that going against your loved one's idea of "normalcy" is not hurting them, it's loving yourself. But remember that you also don't owe anyone a "coming out", you are valid whether or not you tell people! Do whatever your heart tells you and please be safe!

!!! : Of course, this doesn't count if what's challenging the status quo doesn't respect others' identity/ sexuality/ ethnicity/ religion/ etc. If challenging the status quo comes from a place of hate please block me. Nobody is using this reading as a sign to do some fucked up shit.

3. Beech and 2. Aspen and Lily

When I saw Beech I immediately thought "talk to someone, or you could spiral." Beech talks about self-acceptance and self-compassion. You must first accept yourself as you are, an imperfect human being, like all humans, before starting to work on embodying your highest self. Stay open-minded! Aspen, on the other hand, invites you to connect with others, not only for advice or consoling but for quality time! I have a feeling that you have very high morals, but having them isn't enough, you must act accordingly!

Thank you for reading! Love you all.♡

You can buy me a coffee if you feel called to do so! This is never necessary, but always appreciated! ♡