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sunflowersandsapphires · 1 month

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Including Sunlight

When Skies Are Gray, Chapter 4

Series Masterlist Next Chapter

pairing: Frank Castle x fem!reader

summary: Frank’s life has reached a crossroads: he can either continue to seclude himself and pursue a dark, lonely future, or he can open himself up to connecting with someone again and maybe achieve happiness. Being the grump that he is, Frank has already committed to the lonely path, but his curious new neighbor might just turn that around.

warnings: swearing, fluff, Frank having unhealthy coping mechanisms

a/n: I'm so sorry that this update is late, everyone! I've had a wacky month and it has completely thrown me off. Huge shout out to @xxdrixx for reminding me (again XD) to post what I'd written, and to my loves @madschiavelique and @gracethyomen for helping me plot the upcoming angst arc!!!

w/c: 5.9k

You hadn’t known Frank for very long, but that didn’t stop him from becoming a necessary fixture in your life. Needing Frank was similar to needing light, or fresh air. Sure, you could go without it for a bit, but it would drastically reduce the quality of your life.

Two days into his “business trip” (which you assumed was a cover for some illegal shenanigans because what sort of freelance construction worker has business trips), you were missing Frank something awful, and it seemed like Max was too. Though you’d tried your best to stick to the existing routine Frank had explained to you, the dog would get mopey in the evenings, laying his head on your lap with a dramatic sigh as he stared longingly towards the door.

Frank hadn’t so much as sent an emoji since his departure, a fact that highlighted his already glaring absence. You had no idea if he was even alive, but you refused to go down that path knowing you’d never make it out of that endless anxiety spiral. Hoping not to bother him while he was away, you’d refrained from reaching out. Until Max’s heavy sighs were too much for you to bear.

“I’ll see what I can do, buddy.” You promised, pulling out your phone and taking a picture of his pouting face.

Sending Max’s sulking portrait off to your stoic neighbor, you included a message.

You: I think he misses you. Hope you made it safely. ❤️

You were about to set your phone down, not expecting him to respond, but your phone buzzed immediately.

Frank: Sorry, bud. He behaving for you?

You: He’s being a perfect gentleman. Please come back to us in one piece.

Frank: Cross my heart.

Smiling at the fluttery sensation in your chest, you set your phone down and resumed petting the pitbull taking up residence on your lap.

Come back to us. A poor imitation of your melodic voice played throughout his brain on a loop as he got settled in the motel and began recon. It had been hours since you’d texted him and Frank couldn’t stop thinking about it. Not that he could ever stop thinking of you; the only thing that had kept him going through the bland, cross-state drive was the knowledge that he had you to return to.

And didn’t that terrify him. The knowledge that he had forged a connection valuable enough to anchor him on bad days should have triggered his factory reset. Cut all ties, change home and job, never look back. But you made him weak–sapping the resolve out of him with your doe eyes and intoxicating personality. He’d never be able to leave you like that, even if his proximity to you would get you killed.

Gritting his teeth, he began disassembling his rifle for the umpteenth time, hoping the familiar rhythm would provide an opportunity for his mind to claw its way out of the paranoid spiral it was currently parachuting down. Because it would do him no good to imagine the ways this could all fall apart. The high that your genuine care ignited in him was a hard one to shake, and he craved your affection more than any drug.

Frank was no stranger to being forgotten, hell, most days he wished for it. Disappearing into the shadows made his work easier and it had helped him prevent situations like this, like you, in the past. Yet here he was, three states away, feeling desired and significant because of four little sentences of fucking text. You were a goddamn miracle.

Placing the final piece of his weapon back into its place, he drew his hands towards himself, examining them. Given the nature of his work, both legal and less than, the skin was rough and littered with impressive callouses. Streaks of gun oil, dirt, and general grime lingered on the pads of his fingers and under his nails, a testament to the indelicacy of his job. How could he allow himself to touch you with these hands?

How could the universe allow him to indulge in something so pure, after what he’d done?

He’d given you his name, his real one, but there was no way you knew the extent of his crimes against the people in your city–if you did, you’d surely never speak to him again. Before meeting you, he’d never questioned his choices. Wiping the murderous, sex-trafficking and drug-dealing scum from the face of the Earth was his purpose, and he lived it with pride. Pulling the trigger, releasing bullet after bullet into the chest of some criminal douchebag, it was the only reason he had the energy to keep going after the loss of his family.

But the violence, that he’d made peace with, it separated him from the rest of society, kept him from forming attachments with people as delicate as you. Not to mention, you valued an honesty he couldn’t provide, and a stable relationship would require it…not that he was intending on pursuing that with you. Right?

Sighing wearily, he pinched the bridge of his nose, heart pummeling his ribcage. You deserved to know the truth about who he was and what he’d done, but Frank wasn’t sure he possessed the courage to break that news to you, to risk losing you forever.

Shifting uneasily on the fraying wicker chair, Frank studied a chip in the faux wood of the table he was seated at. Rubbing a thumb over the exposed plastic, he pondered his next move. His short recon session had verified Madani’s hunch that the arms dealers operated after dark, like most criminals, but sitting around the dingy motel room until then was a one-way ticket to insanity.

As if his body was pitying his moment of unprecedented indecision, his stomach growled ferociously. Fuck, he could use a decent meal and a hot cup of coffee. Plucking his keys and handgun from the nightstand, he shoved his arms into a black canvas jacket before braving the outside world.

Digging your glove-covered fingers into the laminated dough, you folded it over itself a few times before placing it back in its designated proofing bin to rise. Taking another lump of the yeasted mixture into your grasp, you savored the pleasant cushiony feeling beneath your hands as you worked, the slightly fermented smell of raw bread swirling around the kitchen as you flipped the mass.

Your heart thumped serenely as you kneaded the dough at a steady pace, creating a beautiful rhythm you were more than familiar with. It was music, of a sort; the pulse in your ears acting as the bass while the cacophony of rattling spice jars and cracking eggshells composed unique melodies unlike anything else.

Life was complicated, but food was simple. Customizing pastries and generating new recipes was an outlet for any emotion you could dream of. Tugging at the strands of dough helped soothe the tension in your shoulders, a symptom of the intense restlessness you’d been feeling since Frank left. Though his text had confirmed that he was alive, you couldn’t help but wallow in a feeling of gut-wrenching regret as you lived without him. If something happened to him out there, you’d never be able to tell him–

Shaking your head fiercely to clear the anxious thoughts from your mind, you raced to the walk-in, once again pouring your jittery energy into a recipe rather than letting your composure erode into nothing. Stabilizing the precarious tower of ingredients you’d stacked with your chin, you tread cautiously over to a clean station, unceremoniously dumping the contents onto the steel bench before popping your head out to the front.

“Stace, you want somethin’ to eat?” You called to the girl, who was currently standing by the register on her phone.

“What are you making?” She barely lifted her head with the question and her ambivalence made you snort.

“Oh, you know, same old.”

With a small shrug, Stacy nodded. “Sure, why not.”

Grinning, you ducked back into the kitchen and popped the lid off of the industrial blender, quickly whipping up two vibrantly colored and impeccably garnished bowls for the pair of you. Passing a spoon to Stacy, you smiled as she dug in eagerly.

“What, you didn’t eat breakfast this morning?” You giggled, reveling in the way her eyes lit up as she ate.

“Had a feeling you’d be cooking up a storm today.” Stacy replied, tilting her head at you knowingly. “You tend to do that when you’re mopey, and I’m never opposed to a free meal.”

Rolling your eyes, you huffed in defiance. “I’m not ‘mopey’.”

“No?” Your dark-haired friend smirked. “That’s why you’re staring at that stupid bowl like it killed your family?”

Ignoring her pointed look, you angled the bowl slightly differently before pulling out your phone.

“It’s a pretty meal. I wanted to take a picture.” You reasoned, snapping a few photos of the deep violet mixture.

“To send to lover boy?” Stacy snorted, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“No! I mean, maybe, I guess. I mean—“ You spluttered and Stacy laughed boisterously. “Shut up!!” Pouting, you shoved your phone back into the pocket of your apron and stuck a spoon into your breakfast.

“C’mon, princess, don’t let my teasing interrupt your pitiful flirting attempts. I’m sure he wants to hear from you.” Stacy’s expression was nonchalant, as always, but her gaze softened when your shoulders slumped. “I’m serious. He’s like, embarrassingly into you.”

“I think you might be confused about which of us is ‘embarrassingly into’ the other.” You whined, burying your face in your hands.

“Oh you’re pathetically head over heels for him too, that’s why you have no game.”

Scoffing, you shoved at her shoulder. “You know what, I don’t need to be insulted like this. Get out of my kitchen.”

“It’s not insulting, it’s true!” She chuckled, eating the remaining few bites of her food as you struggled to force her out the double doors.

“Out, out, out!” You panted, finally getting her across the threshold.

The whoosh of air from the batwing doors blew stray hairs from your face, giving you pause. Did it matter why you reached out to him? He seemed to appreciate it…

“Fuck it.”

Frank turned the cheap off-white mug in his hands, letting the quickly fading warmth seep through the material and into his palms as he looked out the streaky window. A gray hue had settled over the rural town he was camped out in, courtesy of the building storm on the horizon. The clouds mimicked his mental state, growing darker by the minute as the world remained stagnant.

A low buzz caught his attention, his hand shooting out to stop his phone from vibrating off of the table. Flicking the screen open, his heart swelled with affection, like a ray of sunshine peeking through the barrier in the sky.

You: *image* It’s official, I’m becoming a hipster. I was more concerned about this photo than eating my breakfast.

Not attempting to hide his smile, Frank shoved his empty cup aside to free his thumbs.

Frank: Well, it looks so good, I might have to forgive you. What is it?

You: A smoothie bowl, very easy to make and quite tasty.

Frank: Never had one of those before. Looks good though, sunshine.

You: Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll make you one sometime.

Frank inhaled deeply, imagining that you were nearby and he could smell your soft vanilla soap. The thought of you cooking for him upon his return warmed his heart while simultaneously cracking it in two. He missed you dearly. Drawing his forearms into his chest, he took a picture of his own food, frowning at the grainy quality of the picture as it sent.

Frank: It ain’t as pretty as yours, but I’m eating breakfast myself.

The remnants of a stack of bland pancakes and some tough bacon paled in comparison to the gorgeous, speckled smoothie thing you’d sent him. Why it was in a bowl and not a cup, he wasn’t sure, but clearly you knew what you were doing so who was he to judge? A few seconds passed and Frank briefly wondered if he’d said something wrong. Before he could preemptively apologize, another bubble appeared on the screen.

You: Glad you are able to feed yourself without my help. I was starting to wonder…

Frank: Oh shut up, you goof. I do miss your cooking though.

You: Just my cooking?

His fingers hovered over the glass display, his brain scrambling for a response that didn’t reveal just how gone he was for you. In the end, he couldn’t find one.

Frank: Not just your cooking, honey. I have some work to do, but take care of yourself and Max for me, will you?

You: Of course, Frankie. Have a good day :)

Frank: You too, sunshine.

Clicking the power button on his phone, Frank flipped it over, settling his head against his rough hands and massaging his forehead. Coward.

The shrill ringing of his alarm shattered the remnants of his uneasy slumber. Whipping his arm out from under the sheets, he stopped the piercing noise with a frustrated growl. Sitting up was a process, thanks to the new bullet wounds in his shoulder and hip—a true testament to how sideways yesterday night had gone. Madani’s brief had implied that this would be a cut and dry operation. Get in, confirm the sale, contact her team, leave. He’d been given strict orders to not shoot unless absolutely necessary.

Which was a great plan, in theory. Frank was more than on board with it, even if the whole “no shooting” thing lengthened the process. If it kept him on Madani’s good side, and still managed to get him home before Lisa’s birthday, he could live with it.

Apparently, the rookie member of Madani’s team was not so thrilled with Frank “stealing” so much of the glory. After Frank’s recon session and subsequent confirmation of the sale, the former Marine was about to call for backup when a scrawny 20-something kid darted into the dark warehouse after the arms dealers, holding nothing but a goddamn glock. Anticipating bloodshed, Frank was grumbling and sprinting after him before the gunshots started.

Pulling the kid out by the straps of his ill-fitting bullet-proof vest was a task Frank managed by the skin of his teeth, procuring two moderate injuries in the process. Of course, the knowledge that the FBI was on their tail sent the arms dealers into a frenzy. Frank was sure they’d crossed state lines before Madani was even done screaming. Honestly, he half expected the poor woman to have steam coming out of her ears–she’d cussed at the kid with words even Frank considered impolite.

Not that he could blame her, he was fuming all the same, especially when Madani had explained that he wasn’t off the hook for the mission and should head back to the motel to await further instructions. As if he was reliving it, the conversation that followed played in his head on a loop, their screaming match echoing off the walls of his brain.

“For fuck’s SAKE, Madani, I did what you wanted–why should I be punished for the stupidity of this asshole?”

“Oh, he’ll be dealt with, believe me. But the agreement was to get Roshev and Miller into my custody. Not give my team a half-assed warning and head back to New York scot free.”

“Half-assed–you’re fucking joking. I had to ditch the objective to rescue YOUR DAMN AGENT.”

“Go back to your room, Frank. I won’t ask again.”

“You’re not–”

“That’s an ORDER, Castle.”

So here he was: waking up on a shitty mattress, his skin and hair still streaked with dirt and blood (because the crappy water pressure and freezing temperature had infuriated him to the point that he’d cut his shower short after cleaning his wounds), in pain and in desperate need of a better cup of coffee than anyone around here was capable of brewing.

On top of that, it was his dead daughter’s 18th birthday–a fact that hung over him like a cloud of poisonous gas, slowly squeezing the air from his lungs, and he was powerless to stop it. He wanted to scream, to cry, to grieve for her, to do something, anything–but instead he was fucking stuck here, beneath Madani’s thumb until she tired of him.

It was naive to think that he’d be home today, maybe drinking coffee that you had made specifically for him, bringing flowers to the cemetery, taking Max for a walk, trying to have a quiet day in Lisa’s memory instead of waiting around to deal with two scumbags who got paid to arm other criminals. He should have just shot them.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes with a rough hand, he stalked to the bathroom to clean up–given that a man covered in blood would probably scare the poor waitress at the diner down the street shitless. As he was rubbing a towel through his hair, his phone buzzed–presumably with a curt message from Madani about something else he’d done wrong. Groaning internally, he braced himself for another argument, but it never came.

Instead, his phone had an unopened message from you. Flicking open the home screen, he felt a weight fall off his shoulders as he pulled up the photo you’d attached.

It was a beautiful picture of you holding a basket of vibrantly colored cherries in the midst of some sort of farmer’s market. Your delicate features were highlighted by an array of pinks and oranges, courtesy of the sunrise in the background. Your smile was bright, your eyes sparkling as you beamed at the camera.

Your first message was a simple explanation of your morning activities.

You: It’s market day! I bought these gorgeous cherries to make some tarts. I’ll save you one ;)

As he was rereading the message, allowing his general irritation to fade as thoughts of you flooded his brain, his phone vibrated again.

You: Thinking of you today. I’m just a text away if you need anything ❤️

Sinking down onto the motel bed, his throat constricted as he processed the sentiment. He was surprised that you remembered today was hard for him, even more so that you offered to be a line of support. But that was exactly who you were, wasn’t it? Someone who cared so deeply for the people around her, and for some fucking reason that included Frank.

Typing and retyping a response to you, Frank blew out a breath. He felt almost…jittery.

Frank: Thanks, sunshine. That means a lot. I’m looking forward to that cherry tart when I get back.

You: I’ll make you as many as you want, Frankie.

Lips twitching, he imagined you whirling around your kitchen in one of your signature patterned dresses making him a special batch of pastries. His heart squeezed painfully; your absence was taking a toll on him that he had not expected. Before he could consider his next message to you, Madani’s number flashed on the screen, indicating an incoming call. Lips curling into a silent snarl, he answered.

“What, Madani?” He rumbled out.

“Well, good morning to you too, sunshine.” Her response wasn’t meant to dig under his skin, she simply meant it as a superficial jab, but the inclusion of the pet name he associated with you ignited a white hot anger in his gut, feral and hungry.

“The fuck do you want,” He bit out.

“Watch your tone, Castle. Remember who owes whom a favor here.”

Rolling his eyes, he brought out a more polite tone. “Yes, ma’am.”

She huffed across the line, “Fuck you too. We found them. I’ll send the coordinates now.”

“Lookin’ forward to it.” He ended the call.

Stretching your legs as best you could beneath the hefty pitbull, you sighed.

It had been hours since Frank’s last text and you were not handling it well–the image of the little typing bubble on his side of the text chain haunting your every moment. Logically, the presence of those three flashing dots just meant he had started to type something and then forgot or had something else to attend to, but that knowledge didn’t quell the anxiety growing in your chest.

He was out there, doing god knows what, on his daughter’s 18th birthday, presumably alone and hurting–and there was nothing you could do but wait. And cook him a lasagna of course. Which you had, giving your apartment the pleasant aroma of onions, tomatoes, and ricotta cheese as the dish baked.

Your consciousness vibrated with the tenacity of an anxious chihuahua, listless with boredom and concern about your sweetheart of a neighbor. Squirming out from under Max’s head, you chuckled as the sleepy pitbull huffed in annoyance. “Sorry, bubba. I need to move around.”

In the final 30 minutes that you lasagna baked, you managed to throw together some simple pastry dough and pull out the small basket of cherries from your fridge. Popping one of the scarlet fruits into your mouth, you began to pluck the remaining stems off before removing their pits. Once they’d been sufficiently prepped, and your hands were adequately smattered with droplets of maroon fruit juice, you dumped them unceremoniously into a pot to create a compote. It didn’t necessarily pair well with lasagna, but you’d promised Frank a cherry pastry.

Originally, you’d considered making him a cherry basil frangipane, identical to the ones you’d stacked in the bakery’s display case that morning. But, after the day he’d probably had, you figured he’d want something…less intricate. The compliment you’d given him during his first visit to the cafe still held true–Frank was simple and honest. He wasn’t difficult to please, but fancy words and expensive ingredients alone wouldn’t cut it. The food had to be good. So, you pulled out all the stops, making a recipe that you hadn’t made since you lived with Leo: cherry turnovers.

Unlike your wonderful neighbor, the majority of patrons in the city needed a reason besides quality to continue giving you business. Elaborately decorated pastries and unique flavor profiles were what kept the cafe in business, so you hadn’t tried selling a modest dessert like these since your first few weeks at the Rainy Day Bakery. It was familiar, comforting even. You hoped it would bring Frank similar satisfaction.

Trading the bubbling lasagna for a tray of triangle-shaped pastries, you brushed your hands on your hips. Re-covering the pasta dish, you hurriedly cleaned your kitchen, wiping away the traces of flour and sugar that inevitably dusted your countertops after you baked. As you rinsed out the mixing bowl, a high-pitched whimper popped the bubble of silence surrounding your apartment. Sitting rigidly by the door to your apartment, Max’s dark eyes pleaded with you.

“Gosh, you’re right, bud! It is dinner time. I’m sorry, I got carried away. Let’s go get you set up, huh?”

Snatching Frank’s spare key from your counter, you attached Max’s thick leash to his collar and jogged him back to his apartment, adding an extra handful of kibble as an apology for making him wait. Stroking his short fur a few times, you slipped the key into your pocket, scurrying back over to your apartment to grab the turnovers before they caught fire and reduced the building to ashes.

Carefully balancing the pastries and lasagna in your hands, you marched back over to Frank’s apartment. Pretty soon, and with only one close call, the food was lined up on Frank’s countertop to cool. Brushing your hands together, you admired your handiwork.

“Please tell me ya haven’t been sittin’ here with the door open all night.”

The gruff voice behind you made you jump in shock. Whirling around, your fear morphed into pure joy as you took in the ruggedly handsome man before you.

“Shit, Frankie! You snuck up on me.” You practically squealed, rushing to hug him in greeting. He grunted as you slammed against him, hissing as you squeezed your arms around his hips. Eyes widening in realization, you started to pull back. “Oh fuck, you’re hurt, aren’t you? I’m so sorry, I–”

Before you could unwrap your arms from his body, his broad hands splayed across your back, muscular arms tugging you back against his firm chest.

“‘M fine, honey.” Came Frank’s soothing rumble. You felt him press a kiss to your crown before he buried his face in your hair. “Missed you like crazy, sunshine.” His voice was soft, as if he didn’t want you to hear the darling confession.

“God, I missed you too, Frankie.” You chuckled, your eyes prickling with tears, your body in awe of your own honesty. With his stubbled chin atop your head and his thick arms around your waist, you felt entirely sheltered by his body. He’d created a bubble of safety and serenity for you, as he always did.

Remaining in his arms, you shifted out from under his head to examine him. Though you’d felt it across your scalp, his beard was noticeably overgrown and in need of a trim. His hair greasy and mussed, streaked with grime, just like his face. The skin of his face was tinged red, with blush or sunburn you weren’t quite sure, and the bags under his eyes were deep. In spite of yourself, your bottom lip stuck out, brow pinching in concern. Bringing a hand up to cradle his face, you stroked a thumb gently over his cheek, careful to avoid the sizeable bruise across it.

“Oh sweetheart. What did they do to you?” You asked quietly, feeling choked up as the hulking man nuzzled into your touch, his eyes falling shut with a weary sigh.

“It’s nothin’.” He murmured, his words worn out—as if he’d spoken them so many times they’d lost all meaning.

“Then it shouldn’t take long to get you cleaned up.” You smiled, the gesture not making it to your eyes. Standing on your tiptoes, you pressed a kiss to his prickly cheek before unwinding his arms from your waist. He started to retract his arms, to tuck them against his sides, but you caught his fingers with yours, grasping his hands tenderly. “Come sit, sweetheart. You must be exhausted.”

The poor man didn’t argue. Instead, he let you tug him to the couch and sit him down, his lips twitching with fond amusement when you tucked a blanket around his shoulders. “This ain’t mine.”

You shrugged, the hint of a smirk tugging at your lips. “I redecorated.”

“I was barely gone three days.” Frank snorted, rolling his eyes at you.

Poorly stifling a smile as you pretended to be annoyed, you spoke as though it was obvious why you’d done it. “Your apartment is freezing, Frank. Did you want me and Max to get hypothermia while you were gone?”

He huffed a laugh. “Still bossy.” Letting his head tip back to meet the spine of the couch, his eyes fluttered shut. Your cool touch manifested on his cheek once again.

“Do you have a first aid kit, Frankie?”

“Under the bathroom sink.” He answered, his words slurred ever so slightly with fatigue. He received a slight squeeze of his arm in response, your warm fingers leaving a lasting imprint on his skin.

A year ago, he would never have let himself have this—a moment of peace. Time to let his guard down, to trust someone else to ease his pain. But the combination of his aching body, his heavy eyelids, and your fussing nature had him letting go of a tension he’d held for years, and he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Soft footsteps alerted him to your presence. Though his eyes were closed, he could hear you shuffle into a crouch, your chest positioned at his knees.

Stifling a groan, he straightened his posture, wincing slightly as the motion tugged on his day old stitches. His eyes immediately focused on your adorable form in front of him, your own gaze roaming over the various bruises covering his visible skin. Dipping a washcloth into a small bowl of water, you gently lifted his wrist, washing away the dried blood on his knuckles. As you worked, a small river of dirty water–tinged pink from his scarlet blood–dripped down his fingers and onto your dress.

He watched the trio of droplets fall, time slowing as if to highlight the moment that reignited his anxiety. Splashing across the multicolored fabric, the liquid seeped into your skirt, staining it as you held his hand. Your kindness was endless, and his presence was tarnishing it, ruining it, ruining you.

Jerking his hand backwards, he cradled it close to his chest. “Lemme do this. I’m gettin’ blood on your pretty dress, sunshine.” He started to stand but you shook your head, gently pushing him back into the cushion and taking his hand in your grasp once again.

Looking directly into his eyes with an intensity that you always seemed to carry, your lips curved into a small smile. “Frank, it’s just a dress, sweetheart. I promise it’s ok. Let me help you?” With your free hand, you stroked a wayward strand of his hair off of his clammy forehead.

Despite the fact that your gaze conveyed your desire to continue patching him up regardless of his answer, your tone was stilted–giving him the option to deny your help.

“You’re too sweet for your own damn good, you know.” He sighed, letting his arm go limp in your grip to let you finish what you’d started.

“Well, you’re too stoic for yours. Makes us quite a pair, doesn’t it?” Your eyes glimmered roguishly, your smirk encouraging him to roll his eyes.

“Whatever you say, sunshine.” He snorted, knowing full well that you were right.

You made quick work of tidying up the split skin across his knuckles, moving on to the bruised skin of his cheeks.

“Didn’t know you were growing this out, Frankie.” You quipped, tugging gently on the untamed curls of his beard.

His lips twitched, revealing a glimpse of his teeth as he smiled. “Wasn’t plannin’ on it. Whaddya think?”

Making a great show of shuffling back to study his face, you tapped your chin. “I like it.”

“You do? Last time it was this long, everyone thought I was some sort of hipster.”

Shrugging, you focused your eyes back on the cloth in your hand. “I always like how you look, Frankie.”

Frank’s breath caught in his throat, unable to quite make it to his lungs. Thankfully, he could blame his lack of response on the fact that you were rinsing the injuries on his face, rather than his own lack of emotional intelligence.

Eventually, you heaved out a breath, looking at him with a raised brow. “Did you want me to look at whatever’s bothering you here?” You asked, gesturing to his hip.

“If I told ya I have no idea what you mean, would ya call me on it?” He grumbles, not quite sure how he’d feel revealing that much of himself to you.

You thought for a minute. Nodding once, you answered. “I’d roll my eyes, but respect your desire for privacy.”

Swallowing thickly, he huffed a nervous laugh. “Fair enough.” With two fingers, he tugged his loose shirt up and over his head, not bothering to disguise his grimace as he rotated his injured shoulder. Pulling the waistband of his pants down an inch, he suddenly felt a surge of fear, not sure how you’d react to seeing his array of scars.

Inhaling sharply, you traced around his stitches with a finger. “Oh, Frank.”

“It’s—“

“It’s not nothing.” Taking his hands again, your intensity returned. “You mean something to me. Seeing you hurt…it’s never nothing, ok? Not to me.”

A lump formed in his throat, he nodded as he tried to swallow it down. “Sorry.”

“No apology necessary,” You squeezed his hands, placing a tender kiss on the raw knuckles of his right hand before grabbing a roll of bandages from your pile of supplies. “I’m not upset that you’re hurt. I just don’t want you to be afraid to lean on someone else for a change.”

You dressed his larger wounds in contemplative silence, your soft skin a welcome change to the rough contact he was used to.

“How’d ya learn to patch people up, sunshine? Playin’ nurse for other neighborhood menaces behind my back?”

You giggled. “You’re my only patient currently. Cross my heart. I’ve just gotten used to first aid after injuring myself my whole life.”

Bringing a hand up to cup your cheek, Frank’s brow furrowed. “Injurin’ yourself? What do you mean?”

Eyes widening in realization, you shook your head. “Not intentionally! I’ve just been a klutz for as long as I can remember.” Chuckling sheepishly, you added, “Takes a toll every once in a while.”

Laughing with relief, he traced a finger along your jaw as he withdrew his hand from your face. “Ah, gotcha. Christ, had me scared there, pretty girl.”

Your face flushed with heat at the new pet name. You tied off the fresh bandages and stood up. “You should be good to go, unless you’ve got any other areas that need to be looked at?”

Blushing as his mind traveled to less innocent places, he shook his head. “I’m fine, honey. Thank you. Really.”

“Anytime, sweetheart.” You winked at him, heading to the kitchen to dispose of the dirty water and trash. As you rinsed the last of the grime from the bowl you’d used, Frank moaned behind you.

“Holy shit.” His words were mumbled around a mouthful of pastry, the other half of a cherry turnover in his hand. Swallowing with another horrifically attractive noise, he lifted the dessert in a gesture. “Did you make these?”

“Yes, but they were for after dinner!” You scolded, your smile completely betraying your feigned annoyance. “Cherry turnovers. Do you like them?”

“No, they’re awful.” Frank deadpanned, shoving the rest of the pastry into his mouth ungracefully. You giggled, uncovering the lasagna before he could reach for another turnover.

“Would you like some actual food, you heathen?” You asked through stray laughs.

“You made me a lasagna?”

“Thought you might want some comfort food today. So I made two of my favorites.”

“Thank you,” Frank spoke your name gravely, as if it was a prayer. “God, sunshine, I dunno what to say.” Your heart ached as his voice cracked around the words.

“You don’t need to say anything, handsome. Just eat, so you can rest soon, yah?”

Frank couldn’t help but let the tension he’d been carrying for days roll off his back like droplets of water, his eyes crinkling with fondness as you puttered around his kitchen as if you had it memorized. You plated two hearty servings of lasagna and took a seat next to him, handing him a fork.

“I’m glad you made it back safely.” You smiled, your gaze more timid than he’d ever seen it.

“Me too, sunshine.” After placing a kiss on your forehead, he speared the fork into the food on his plate, taking a massive bite.

“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.” Frank groaned, beaming at you.

Laughing brightly, you took a bite of your own, overjoyed to have Frank to eat with again.

Thanks for reading! As always, comments and reblogs are incredibly appreciated.

Taglist: @cheshirecat484@xxdrix@smhnxdiii@mattmurdocksstarlight@danzer8705

#frank castle #my writing #marvel #the punisher #frank castle x reader #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x you #frank castle imagine #frank castle angst #netflix the punisher #the punisher x reader #the punisher imagine #jon bernthal #fc #gray skies

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woodenfawn · 10 months

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The Rem Infodump.

The one where i rant about rem and subaru's dynamic and why it's special but i dont think a lot of people really understand it!

This was written a while ago and i may have some things wrong, and it's also good to note I don't think subaru and rem are unnhealthy for each other in the sense that they shouldn't be together (whether romantic or platonic), i just mean the situations they were in forced them to act in certain ways!

I think a lot of people who are bigger re zero fans (who also understand what the story is about) shy away from rem as a character because she's the one "only fake fans who watch the anime for the waifus" like, but while she's not my favorite character i want to bring her a little more appreciation from this side of the fandom!!

new-to-tumblr post spam 3/4 complete, i'll slow down after this XD

I tried tagging with spoilers but just in case it didn't work: spoilers ahead!

So. The rem thing. Ive talked about it vaguely before but never went into detail cause there were people that could be spoiled. The whole point of rems attraction to subaru is not because of harem wish fulfillment. The author clearly stated he hates harems. Subaru does love both rem and emilia, but he has solidly chosen emilia and that's the end of that. It doesn't matter what romantic feelings he could have towards rem because it's already doomed. They both know it. The relationship they form episode 12 and beyond is not meant to be healthy for either of them!! Rem has been saved from her mindset of needing to atone for what she thought of her sister, but her self esteem is still AWFUL which is why she attaches herself to a "hero" instead of learning to recognize her own self worth. Subaru saved her from some things but he's not a hero and he's not exactly the person rem says he is. Partially, but not all of it. It's kind of a mutual decision of theirs to lie to each other and themselves because they need it to cope with themselves. Subaru needs to be a hero for rem or he could never step out of his depressive state. Rem needs a hero in subaru or she cannot feel loved and understood. It's not good for either of them but they don't have an alternative. NOTICE: When subaru rants about how awful he is and rem responds with her famous speech, she doesn't actually contradict much of what he says. They love each other and need each other but it's bad for the both of them. Rem lost her memories because the witches (later correction: it's the bishops) targeted her for her sin, and subaru killing himself over rem is not the action of a person in a healthy mindset. Rem's development was cut short and kind of fridging, its frustrating, but it's not basic waifu stuff and it is meant to be tragic!!!! This is also all a mirror to how subaru and emilia are!

Because while subaru constantly talks about needing to save emilia, he also calls her the main heroine. I used to think about rem as a yesman, but she does many a thing behind subaru's back for his sake the exact way he did to emilia. He learns more about the consequences of his actions that way. oh, it hurts. and oh boy the speech is so misunderstood. That is rem's promise to love him "unconditionally", without acknowledging his flaws, and it helped. It's absolutely what he needed to hear. But it wasn't good. but also, for other reasons, it mirrors another little speech.... subaru's season 2 confession to emilia. Where she can't believe he'd love her, and where he starts to list off things he's done for her and the ways she's made it hard for him. And then tells her, he still loves her, because that's who she is and he wouldn't want it any other way. Which could be taken as another niceguy rant (like a repeat of the season 1 fight) but it's NOT!! Because this is what Emilia needed to hear, because she is not the kind of person who can accept praise without a drawback or asterisk. If she heard all that, all she'd see is another pedestal to fill. this is the healthier version of the rem speech, where she can accept she's flawed and realize she's still loved. Both despite, but also for it. And... it's still not perfect. Because the characters are still growing and learning!!! They are young adults with so many problems and a whole life ahead of them and they still need to learn!!! The upsides and downsides of unconditional love,,,, and is it more unconditional if you love them "despite flaws" or "with flaws" or without seeing any? And is any of that healthy? How can it be good? How can it be bad? Maybe it can be both at once, maybe love isnt perfect!!! a lot of this is hidden in subtext, and the framing of rem's speech may even trick you cause it's triumphant but no there's so much complexity to why they say every single thing they say!!!

Subaru is a character who struggles with love for himself and with love for others, he doesn't know how to make others happy and gets caught in a loop of thinking the only way he can possibly be loved is if he's constantly putting his life on the line for others, without asking anything of them in return. which ends up with him breaking and needing support, and not knowing how to ask, which is why he yells at emilia in season 1 (doesn't help that his deepest trauma is something he is magically obligated not to share for fear of death). His relationship with emilia in season 1 is both very sweet and very unhealthy. he's just a guy with a crush on a girl who's far too good for him and he's trying to work for it but the basis for it is not good- he's attached himself to the first kind person in this new world that he knows and due to "return by death" he's far more invested in her than she is in him- she will never know everything they went through together. and then.... he finds rem. someone who didn't trust him. someone who killed him multiple times throughout the mansion arc, but someone who could understand his loneliness because she was also lonely, and wow- he managed to save her, too! and she doesn't know everything about what he's gone through, but she knows how to read his emotions like no one else can. so they... fall into a codependency. like said before, they can't live without each other, but not everything they do is good for each other. subaru, while gladly taking the role that emilia has in this new relationship, learns more about how she feels. with rem, he learns more about what it means to love, and they both know that it won't last. they didn't expect it to end so soon, though. but oh well, subaru does not have the option to stop. the nature of his powers means dying is pointless, and he has to press on anyways. and he does!!! He meets more people he thinks he can trust. some betray him, but some stick with him. Otto (my sweet boy!!!) is notable!

and now he knows more about love, about trust, about how to treat people, and how he should expect to be treated. so many things. keeping in mind it's been a while since i've watched re zero so i probably don't even have everything there is to say. but like.... then in the end, he can approach emilia with his true emotions. and he can tell her about it in a way she'll understand. and he knows he can do it without being a burden this time. he's become a better person. he's not sure if he'll be rejected, but that's not the point anymore! The point is he loves her and wants the best for her and wants her to know and hopes, no matter the outcome, that she'll be happy to know she's not alone! and the honesty, that's what his speech has over rem's. he's not putting her on a pedestal, he's not using her for the sake of his own self esteem anymore, he just wants to love!

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Extra note on the end (talk about suicidal thinking, be warned!!!)

something I've talked about but don't have saved writing for, a bit more about rem!

I do also think Rem is suicidal. i think she and Subaru recognized each other in that mindset without ever really talking about it. To me, this relationship is two suicidal people trying to prop each other up so the other will keep living, and knowing that if they really give up the other will too. That's why the season 2 development was so punishing for Subaru. I think that Rem's terrible self esteem and feeling of needing to atone for """"ruining her sister's life"""" contributed to it, though i don't know if that's all of it. She also makes multiple comments that are extremely concerning, like how Subaru is her "reason to die", how when she was ready to die fighting the white whale she said she felt like this was the moment she was made for, and biggest of all!! When she was telling her hypothetical story of how she and Subaru would run away together, she planned it all up to the death "I'd like to die first and I'd like my family to be with me", and to me it felt like she was *trying to think of a death that would make her life worth living*. Her motivation to live is following people she can die for, and that's, that's concerning. i hope her character arc properly follows through on what's happening in her head (i don't know how arc 7 goes yet)

...and i also think that Beatrice is the first time Subaru's had to confront his mindset head-on, because Beatrice would refuse to dance around the subject. The lesson he takes from Rem carries over to both Emilia and Beatrice in healthier ways, and I think that's incredibly important!!!!

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thank you for reading!

#re:zero #re zero #natsuki subaru #subaru natsuki #rem rezero #rem #re zero spoilers #re:zero spoilers

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geewintg · 6 months

Text

okay despite me hating on mlb for how they butchered the series' plot bad, I'm still kickin and gigglin over the halloween special LIKE

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

man, the alternate universe's characters slap in every bum. The role reversal with adrien and gabrielle, with how gabrielle was more accepting of his wife's lose while adrien was stuck on his mother's death and he hated his father for moving on. This dynamic made more sense in my opinion because adrien, a teenager, a boy who lost a mother-figure when he was young, would be bitter about the loss, not knowing how to cope yet with certain emotions and seeing his father who looked moved on already amplified it further because in this sense, it made him lonelier. Gabrielle would have prob tried to talk to him but knowing how the usual mentality of people in this age goes, they would stubbornly believe and cling onto their own wishes and wants, seeing his father's act of acceptance as betrayal and already forgetting about his mom. He doesn't have the mental and emotional maturity yet to cope with the loss hence he walked down the path which was clawnoir. Unlike in the orig series where gabrielle was the one hell-bent trying to get his wife back while adrien just wanted his father to spend time with him.

I mean, it's not like this dynamic did not make sense. It's just that I saw the appeal more with the role reversed as this is how things with the lost of a family member goes. AND CAN I JUST SAY,

IT HAS THE TROPE OF MR POPULAR HAVING A CRUSH ON A NORMAL BAKER GIRL AUGHHHGHHGH it's tickling my brain in all of its weak spots I CAN'T this is just so cute honestly

that act of "admiring you in a distance" is so 😩😩 PLEASE WE COULD HAVE SEEN MORE but then in their masked forms, it's "I'll punch your face the moment I get an opportunity" they fight so badly it's not even what you can say a banter, they fight with raw emotions that scrapes your ears like chalk scratching on a board exactly just like teens who are going through a lot and the moment they revealed their identities, there was a hint of comfort that clawnoir awkwardly tried to portray because in the end, he realized, they were just two people underneath the mask who have rough things they're going through, added the fact that emo!marinette said she'd wish to replace marinette of this universe just so she could experience the good things here (of course it's also the fact that she's his crush which was another major factor to consider but I wanna pretend that the former is the explanation for angst factor xd)

they literally had this enemies to lovers trope going on, partners who are only forced to cooperate by a higher rank but could care less about the other. Can I just say that the emo!duo had more character arc than our mains for so many seasons? In this little flashbacks and small trinkets of what happened in their world, we are able to see more depth to their characters and progression to their plot. If only we could have focused more on the emo au, I would have jumped right into that ship to sail me away! Instead, we got an ending that focused on the actual au that we have. LIKE I DO NOT GIVE AF! Would give anything to see about the father-son angst of the emo au instead, like imagine, having to see that you've been fighting your son all along and because gabrielle, being the way that he is, would be crushed knowing that his actions are partly responsible for his son's path to darkness

also, I wanna tackle about emo!marinette's, when she said

that means that these two never have been formally introduced but she showed her frustration about adrien agreste being a menace and arrogant. Meanwhile, adrien only talked about specifically being mean to nino. But it's prob a chloe-marinette dynamic with adrien being stuck up to everyone but only targeting nino specifically. That's why shadybug groaned when hearing adrien agreste despite having no one-on-one interaction with him because as we saw, he became timid when he saw her identity. There would be no way he'd harm her theoretically. He may have struck a conversation with her sure, but considering his already-bad reputation, emo!marinette would have thought of him as a bully much like chloe, knowing they're childhood friends and would want as much to avoid him (this is literally what happened in s1e1 with adrien trying to remove the gum off marinette's seat that chloe did) emo!marinette is basing it off on two-peas-in-a-pod friendship, plus with what he did to emo!nino, no doubt marinette would see it that way.

also! I just wanna add that what if, what if the emo!adrien is dressed like we see him as is because of marinette who took on the emo aesthetic (if we did not include the halloween special vibe lmao), he did that style in order to get close to her and to have some ground topic to start a conversation. People tend to stick with people of the same interests after all.

man, there's more I wanna say about this halloween special but let's leave it at that for today. I also wanna hear what you guys think about this special episode? Because honestly, there's so much potential for this au and the fics AUGHHH THE FICS JUST IMAGINE

#ramble #miraculous ladybug #shadowbug #claw noir #writing #mlb #tales of shadybug and claw noir #ladybug and catnoir special #please I hate this show so much but like it won't get off my ass #I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE THIS POST JUST FOR THIS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL BECAUSE I HONESTLY LIKED IT #it's like that “what could have been” show you know #i wanna read a fanfic of what happened in this au asap

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fareehaandspaniards · 7 months

Note

Also really curious about how you see Ludwig!

Seems really like the perfect role model guy!

Perfect role model guy? Maybe xd

I haven’t thought much about his past, but I think that he is also a foreigner (as many other characters!), or rather his family is from other lands. He himself was born and raised in Yharnam, but his roots are southern.

Another doodle to show how exactly I see him (It's Laurence in the left and Edgar in the right, nevermind xD) :

What can be said for sure is that he is very cute!

A "father" for his soldiers (hunters), an excellent fighter, a strongman. An exemplary family man - in my headcanon he is married, and perfectly copes with the role of a father and husband. However, what he couldn't do is to be the "head" of the family - I think he is very shy and timid in private and in more intimate settings!

He's also a great knight! Like, a true knight (I mean not a medieval robber and feudal lord, but a really exemplary servant, master of the sword and sir in shining armor. I swear I read a legend about a knight with a magical, talking sword, (no, not Excalibur xd) It reminds me a lot of Ludwig, though I've forgotten the legend ;_;)

He has a lot of virtues, but his flaws.....

Stone-faced. Which made it hard for Laurence to get along with him at first. Ludwig is very closed and takes deeds rather than words. Laurence couldn’t understand his loyalty and endeavor to serve for some time, but when he got it – he started to fear that Ludwig will abandon the Church after discovering it’s dark secrets.

Ludwig is quite infantile inside - he loves strategy and tactics, but mostly uses it in games for children! And actually the one who got him talking and also befriended was Gehrman, who offered him to play a board game. Gehrman and Ludwig are good friends in my opinion and drinking buddies xd I just like to imagine them drinking a huge mugs of beer while Laurence sips juice through a straw from an exquisite glass. Both friends were a bit silly and eventually acquired enough local jokes that pissed Laurence off LOL

Ludwig had nightmares very often, and a restful sleep is a reward for him. Moon influence – thanks, Laurence.

He is Edgar's idol also! He dreamed of being like the perfect knight (but didn’t succeed xd). And I really like the headcanon that Ludwig picked up little Edgar on the street in his last sane year and gave him to the Orphanage on which the Choir was based. In my headcanons Edgar is stuck being 20 years old in a Nightmare, so I guess that's probably a pretty realistic course of events...? How did he survive his stay at the Orphanage, where children were "used" to communicate with the Great Ones? I-don't-know! xd I just like to think that way, haven't tried to seriously consider it.

Ludwig conducted the massacre of Old Yharnam with true steadfastness. That's why people started call him "The Beast" - he never once showed compassion for people turning into beasts. The problem is that when he does something, he shows no doubt. All his doubts and worries were left in Laurence’s hands, and Vicar was in no hurry to clear his image in front of people or dissuade them.

The Moonlight, after the incident with Old Yharnam, had been the only source of meaning for him. The moon called, the moon comforted, the moon promised. Under its influence, Ludwig forgot everything that brought pain, just as he had forgotten his wife and son and daughter, who had died turning into beasts.

Ludwig had faith in Laurence. Ludwig also believed in healing blood. It had healed his wife, and he believed it was the future of Yharnam. Vicar asked him not to ask questions, promising to tell him one day WHAT the Church was doing, but he wasn’t able to fulfill a promise. Ludwig found out everything for himself later.

Djura admired him at first, but later joined those who called Ludwig "The Beast." He could understand everything, but he couldn't forgive him for following heartless orders.

Ludwig had been an inspiration to Damian(Me? Not to mention Damian? HAhahahaha) during his years of service as a Tomb Prosperctor. Although Damian considered this service "unholy" (the old belief that the dead should not be disturbed), Ludwig inspired him to keep going.

And! Also he was a good friend of Maria. She wasn’t as naive as Ludwig, because tried to discover secrets of Research Hall, but they both had sensitive hearts. He was a good man and she valued it during those hard times. Also how couldn’t Ludwig not appreciate Gehrman’s best apprentice? Young, talented, kind-hearted – Maria was another «knight». (I love so much female archetype of «knight». I have some examples from other games and OH MY GOD, AHksdhfksjhfiwhe General Beatrix from Final Fantasy IX plus Lady Maria is a duo of my heart…)

I used to call myself holyvicar shipper, but actually no… I like it, as much as other pairings, I can even feel it, especially if feelings are one-sided (Ludwig is in love), but Laurence really wants to feel the same, but simply can’t. Ludwig is too easy for him? I don’t know. Ludwig/Maria? Ludwig/Micolash (lol)??? I appreciate any fanart or fanfics but not really into these ships. So Ludwig is married in my world.

#bloodborne headcanons #my art #mutuals #ask #ludwig the holy blade #ludwig the accursed #I love him #I started crying after second phase cut-scene so couldn't beat him that try xd #I love pure and sincere knights

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sm-baby · 9 months

Note

actually, can you recommend on how i can get more research about babydoll owners? now i'm fairly curious lmao

- 📦

M AN tiktok, which isn't a credible source, but there are babydoll moms out there who documents their experience with their lil ones. But it can be any social media really! Just look for those who paint/own the dolls themselves!

I could also say Youtube, but people are a lot more judgemental there so :(

You can use the words " babydoll" or more specifically "reborn doll" to find them ("Reborn" is a babydoll making company wewe uwu)

As well "cuddle bodies" to see baby dolls with the pillow bodies! Most of the time they are hidden in onesies as to not break the illusion!

They are VERY realistic and very adorable,,, you can see why moms get really into it!

The amount of comments going " my soul left my body" when a mom pulls off a babydoll's head XD its very funny.

Its very important not to judge even when other moms in the community do... I find that babydoll moms have a lot of issues on their own regarding children so they're a lot more sensitive (There is quite some controversy!)

This and outsiders of the community heavily judging them, plenty owners can be insecure, so its important to be patient and keep an open mind :)

I personally say its a very awesome hobby and way of coping! If boys who liked monster trucks can like cars as an adult, then girls who liked baby dolls can like reborn dolls as adults!

The only thing I do not agree on is when owners use supplies for babies that are currently in shortage (ex. Baby milk which can be substituted, and Diapers), which is why Clancy is depicted using water and sugar!

All this is to say, I am not deep into the community, so take this all with a grain of salt!

#babydoll #baby doll #reborn doll #cuddle body

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unhonestlymirror · 7 months

Text

I actually find funny how Gojo asks Geto, "You're gonna kill all the non-sorcerers and create a world with sorcerers only?" That's the "Aliens and America" trope.

Cause, as long as I remember, thanks to Tengen's barrier, about 99% of all sorcerers are in modern Japan. According to manga's map, there should be no sorcerers on occupied by russia Chishima and Karafuto territories, which is also funny: geopolitics influence the number of sorcerers. Although everyone behaves like it shouldn't.

I think what Gege tried to say by that American military arc is that if they tried to occupy Japan and "liberate them from evil spirits"... would Tengen's barrier update? XD How would it change, and by what logic? Does Tengen sit in her barrier reading newspapers and like, "Oh shit, non-sorcerers occupied Chishima and Karafuto, update the data!!!"

I don't believe it should work like this. Why? The answer is imperialism. Imperialism for countries is like Candida albicans for humans: it's present in everyone in small quantities, but if you neglect your health and let it multiply - not only will you ruin the mood of those around you, but you will also be in danger of death.

Every country is this or that way imperialistic, and Japan, as former empire, should be thrice as such. And it actually is. They draw Chishima and Karafuto as occupied territories on school maps nowadays. I highly doubt a state that draws its territories as occupied in school textbooks would remove Tengen's barrier from them. Unless a higher-up Tengen has higher prorussian higher-ups than her.

If Geto studied history a little better, he would know that genocide never ends good for those who genocide. Hitler killed around 30 million people - and it's about 2-3% of the world population. It's like modern Texas. Did Hitler achieve his goal? No. Did Hitler make himself a non-human who is perceived even worse than Satan? Yes.

Maximum any genocider can reach is to clean a certain territory AND fill it with someone else. Look at russia and Ukraine. Look at russia and Belarus. Look at Azerbaijan and Armenia. Look at Mongolian empire, Roman empire, Conquistadors, etc, etc.

Did Geto want to methodically, with understanding what he wants to reach, kill all non-sorcerers? As far as it seems, no. Because of Tengen's words about Japan being the main curse energy producing factory, it's not very clear to me whether Geto wanted to kill all non-sorcerers in Japan's borders or in the whole world. In the whole world, it's just NOT POSSIBLE to do. Not even empires with billions of people were able to do that. A one person just can't do it without destroying the planet completely - and it wasn't Geto's goal to destroy the planet completely.

I suppose he wanted to kill all the non-sorcerers in Japan at first. But once again, there are Chishima and Karafuto (status unknown), and there are AXILLARY MANAGERS who are non-sorcerers who can control their cursed energy. Let's assume that Geto wanted to clear Japan's territory at first - whom was he gonna fill it with? As Belaruthians say, Nature abhors the void. Whom was he gonna fill the world with if LOTS OF SORCERERS come from NON-SORCERERS FAMILIES, like Haibara Yu, like Ijichi Kiyotaka, like Nanami Kento, like Yuta Okkotsu who didn't know he had a far sorcerer ancestor.

Yuki Tsukumo said that killing all non-sorcerers is a decent plan, the easiest way to create a world without curses. Yuki Tsukumo lied to Geto Suguru, and I still don't understand why, considering she also mentioned she's chasing the second option - make all of humanity control their cursed energy - which is actually the fastest and easiest way, with many possible solutions: from inventing a some kind of "vaccine" or something to simply widespread by government programs to teach the population how to deal with curses. Or actually all of that. If you see that the sorcerers are not coping with their task, well, involve the average people. It's like with a drowning person. If you know that a child is drowning, you won’t go looking for him alone across the sea. You ask all the people on the beach to join hands and walk along the shoreline a few meters into the sea.

However, as we can see, Japanese government, including sorcerers higher-ups, didn't give a single fuck about less and less sorcerers being able to do their job and remain alive and healthy. Why? Because the JJK Japanese government was a financed marionette by someone who wanted Japan to collapse. I would bet on Kenjaku and China. Otherwise, I have no idea what that chapter was with Kenjaku speaking Chinese for. Yuki Tsukumo, as someone who cared, must have noticed that. Maybe she tried to involve herself in politics, by "fucking around taking trips overseas", maybe she even played political games with Kenjaku. But she was unguarded, and she relied too much on "impotent UN" Tengen, for which she payed.

Yuki lied to Geto, or rather shifted his focus, and it was very easy to do because he was 1)clearly traumatized teen, with vulnerable mental state, 2)on the verge of the mental illness, 3)most likely already with hidden xenophobic beliefs. What for? I suppose the goal was to separate him and Gojo, considering that highlighting on "the three of us special grades" - Yuki is not dumb, and she must have guessed that Geto would have questioned his own special gradeness after Toji incident:

The whole conversation Yuki&Geto is such an obvious taking "on a dare". Unfortunately, people are not very good at expressing why they find Yuki suspicious, which ends in demonising Yuki Tsukumo. I suppose those people who know how it is - to be vulnerable mentally - dislike her the most.

Did Yuki cause Geto's fall? Nah, I think people exaggerate her role in Geto's character. Geto would have fallen anyway, she just made it happen faster, for her own unclear motives.

A world without non-sorcerers simply can not exist, just like the russian empire can not exist without Ukrainians and all the other people they genocided because it was built on them. They have been killing so many people with such pleasure that most of russia's territory is now simply empty and is about to be partitioned and consumed by countries that have overpopulation because the Nature abhors the void.

I love how Gege highlights the well-known drama of fighting a villain by dynamic action, awesome artstyle, some civil stuff and "WOW SUKUNA VS GOJO SATORU" while hiding the fact they are technically going through war, through partitioning of JJK Japan by other states, which fight for resources like that Gojo in a box, and maybe something more. JJK Japan is, in fact, alternative universe Ukraine, which was occupied by russia for 3 days. That's why JJK manga is very important to me. Gege doesn't use straightforward language, and that's why people are so confused and say, "Gege is so dumb, why would he include American military?" - Gege is actually very smart. He just believed more people would be interested in the background, I guess. Maybe that's why he gave up and decided to finish this manga asap with EPIC FIGHTS only.

P.S. Anticipating questions like, "JJK China would not fight for JJK Japan, JJK Japan is too small" - my brother in Ra, China fights for fucking Taiwan, have you ever seen the size of Taiwan?

#rambling #jjk thoughts #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo satoru #yuki tsukumo

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saltynsassy31 · 7 months

Note

If Link and Zelda were in a modern AU and they were stranded in an airport for a day and a half, what do you think they would do to pass the time?

OH MY GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I THOUGHT OF A PROMPT LIKE THAT BEFORE

When we were stranded in an airport (long story short, when we visited Brazil, on the way there our flight delayed and we had to stay back until the next day to get the next connection and then again when we went to the South of brazil, but it was because a storm was happening and we couldn't land so we had to stay for ANOTHER day) me and my sister started to think up scenarios with them in the same situation as us to kinds cope 😭😭😭

It was the height of our zelda obsession so it helped lol

On to the prompt tho, they'd most definitely would have brought some form of video game with them, in canon they got that slate/purah pad stuck to the hip with them at all times, and it's obviously a poorly disguised switch, so no doubt they'd have one with them

Also, considering Zelda is a princess, in modern au she'd have some sort of wealth, either her dad is still alive or she inherited it, so I don't doubt they'd get like, VIP rooms at the airport

Which I got tje pleasure to experience actually, we aren't rich, we are barely making it actually gkskaka that trip to Brazil took half of our savings and we counting pennies rn, but we really wanted to visit family XD, but because my dad travelled a lot due to his job, we managed to get cards that let us in

And lemme tell you it is SUCH A GOOD THING TO HAVE, especially in the chaos of the airport, its just a nice place to relax in 😭😭😭

Tho you can only be there for a couple hours, not the whole day

If your flight got cancelled they should give you a hotel to be at, but depending on how long they take to find one for you to stay in, some people opt to just sleep at the airport, and if that's the case for Link and Zelda, I think they'd opt to stay rather than go through the hassle to get a hotel

I never experienced that, we always managed to get a hotel (thankfully), but if they were to stay, they'd probably just tell stories and pretend they're camping out, maybe Link pulls out his phone and puts a video of a bond fire so that they can tell creepy stories XD

They'd definitely be buying snacks if there are any stores open too

I'll be honest, there isn't much you can do if you get stranded there other than sleep it off or just talk, especially when all the stores get closed, but I think they'd find it way to entertain each other some way

Playing games, catching up with people online, watching movies together that they downloaded for the flight

Those simple things they wouldn't be able to between the hustle and bustle of the air port XD

#salty rants #princess zelda #link #zelda x link #legend of zelda #this is specifically about the #tears of the kingdom #breath of the wild #versions of them tho #since its the ones im most familiar with

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kiwibirdlafayette · 1 year

Text

Its Gays on A Boat! (working title)

There's a multiversal threat, and theres only one group of idiots that can stop it! Its taking out the S1 Mianite world and its comin for the rest of the universes in the vast SMP Multiverse o nooo

Mianite spin off pitch; Post DSMP; canon divergent. uhh fills in what Sonja was up to during Isles and after the fact. mostly just random ideas i had i cant write prose for shit

A few years after S2 Sonja and Wag get kinda left behind. Tom returns to Astrakheins with Alice to find himself, Jordan depressedly goes off to become a pirate, Tucker leaves the universe to pursue other things

The two of them end up gettin into more powerful magics outta boredom (which Martha doesnt really like all that much) and in her explorations, Sonja stumbles upon the idea of necromancy. i dont have it fleshed out but. she talks to Philza (whos in the S1 world with Techno, pre-SMP Earth) who introduces her to Kristen. exploration of Capsizes limbo and basically she brings back Capsize

Canonically SMPEarth takes place right before Isles. and uhh While Jordan and Tom have reunited when Martha and Alice send the two back in time to investigate x thing idk i didnt finish the series yet (Mianitian Isles) Sonja is kinda just tryna help Capsize find herself again bc she didnt come back right (big ol memory issues). Post Isles Tom ends up on their boat with no idea where Jordan went (spoiler: bro ended up in the End of the DSMP, pulled there by XD) Jordan gets involved with the DSMP Syndicate bc of Phil and Techno

((theres a gap in story here but tldr; before the nuclear bomb that resets the server goes off, the trio find Jordan and take him and Tubbo- maybe also Ranboo and Michael- onto the boat and they fuck off to.... somewhere. Phil and Techno have their own way out i personally like the Syndicate ending Phil wrote i dont wanna mess with it))

A lot of it kinda focuses on the four reconnecting and repairing their faults of the past and a continuation of this multiversal threat that Jordan was investigating on the DSMP which i cant really explain yet. basically think world historian but a lot worse with quintessence stuff

like Jordan trying to make it up to a Capsize for how he treated her, but who doesn't remember him that well, Jordan reconnecting with his son that he basically had to abandon when the Realm of Mianite was falling apart, the tension between Sonja and Tom, where Sonja has kinda been Capsize's friend all this time while he was gone and regretting not being around, Tom helping Capsize through this revival state relating his own experience where he cant remember the ghosts of his past life all that well- and more!

also shenanigans. tons of mianite-style silly shenanigans cause we love some absolute 180 contrast in these damn things

other maybe plot points

Furia. yea theyre back

redbeard coping with the fact his sister is back. havent decided how much she remembers of him for angst reasons >:]

if i stick to ranboos canon ending for their character, them finding ranboo in the nether at some point

tom really leaning into the godhood of bein mecha dianite

meeting their origins alts from starborne kingdom of dianite when the timelines start to get fucky and blended together

motanite returns, and most of the Ruxomar Alts (including Spark whos been in the vast expanse with S2Ianite and comes back to roast Jordan)

Waglington. just waglington.

ok thats it for now. ill take questions i guess i know its very disorganized bc im still writing OSMP stuff and im tryna to not do two at once

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sweet-star-cookie · 28 days

Note

...just realized the ask i just sent you about the emoji ask game was from a year old post (sorry lolol) so here's the questions that went along with that:

🎨 - What colors or textures do you associate with the wip?

🥀 - Do any characters (even minor) die?

👀 - A piece of lore you’ve been waiting for an excuse to share

Aha, I see! I was wondering for a moment like "did I reblog an ask game and then forget?" xD But thanks for sending one in anyway! I don't usually get many but they're always fun :D On to the questions!

What colours or textures do you associate with the WIP?

I feel like it's cheating to say all of them haha, despite rainbow (Asteria) and the deliberate colour dualities being a prominent thing for Starglass Zodiac. Colour in general is very important to this series, particularly for the magic system, and all three of the complimentary colour pairs appear in some way:

Red & Green - Cassie and Ophiuchus, or Libra and Ophiuchus Blue & Orange - Solaris and Lunaris, and the Starglass for each Purple & Yellow - The duality between Light and Void magic, and Scorpio and Scutum I'd say the purple/yellow duality sticks out the most to me for the series overall, as it's the most prominently seen colour combo.

As for textures, I've never really thought about that before! I think maybe whatever texture there would be from the smoky/wispy appearance of the Unsigned spirits, it might feel a bit like air flow or water flow if you touched it.

Do any characters (even minor) die?

Unfortunately, yes. :') Considering this series mostly takes place in a spirit world, the concept of death and its duality with life is a prominent theme. How individual characters cope with it (or don't, in some cases) is of importance as well.

A piece of lore you’ve been waiting for an excuse to share

Hmm, I really had to think hard about this one! Of course there's a ton of lore that I could share that's heavy on the spoilers, but I want to keep at least some of it under wraps, haha! I guess I can talk a little bit about some lore I've made for the Star Fragments though.

Star Fragments, even prior to being made into full portraits by Aranea, have memories contained within them (not of their mortal lives but of their spirit lives, to clarify). As one might expect though, they're only fragments of the original constellation's memories until they are reunited with their other pieces.

Faint sounds or voices of these memories can sometimes be heard when close enough to a fragment (or several), and if touched, the memory will play in the mind of the person who touched it. When constructed into portraits, the full life of the spirit can be seen by walking into it.

It was quickly discovered, however, that only Ophiuchus could do this. Only he could hear the voices coming from the Star Fragments and see their memories, but only after he was given the Sun Starglass. This later increased the incentive to find the fragments in the first place, outside of general preservation of course. When Cassie finds out that she can do this as well, it is assumed that this is an ability shared by bearers of the Starglass, but the reason why is unknown.

Constellations of objects can still produce Star Fragments and are preserved in portraits in the same way, going through the same reincarnation process as the others as well. But unless those objects are actually sentient in some way when they were alive, their portraits do not have memories attached to them.

#this isn't nearly as long as the other asks I've done but I put it under the cut anyway lol #thanks for the ask! :D #asks #tabsters #Starglass Zodiac #SGZ #ask game

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penname-artist · 2 years

Text

Cars on the Road - Some Thoughts

Saw a bunch of people leaving their thoughts about the trailer sooo I figured I would do the same, I have some stuff that I want to discuss.

Easily the first thing that hit me about the series upon the drop of its trailer is the QUALITY. They outdid their first film with a television series, that is insane! They look fluid and smooth, their lighting and reflections are amazing, and they truly spare no detail in making every last one of these characters fluid and expressive. Pixar you animation gods, you’ve done it again. 13/10, I hope these animators did not hurt themselves trying to design this series.

Okay okay now I want to talk about the thing that had me most interested. Can we talk about the GHOST CARS please???

I will not lie to you, this section of these ghost cars coming to life, and dancing with McQueen in this big room is just, the coolest shit here, I am so psyched for this part of the series. And I’ve got so many questions! Is this Cars haunted mansion, are we going to see elements from the Haunted Mansion ride in Disney put onto this presumed hotel? How did all of these ghost cars come to haunt this place? How did they DIE?

Fanfic wise this could open up a whole new ballgame of things, such as Lightning trying to cope with seeing this after Doc’s passing (if any of you guys have the taste for some strong angst). And on the...*cough* less PG-13 rated side of the spectrum, car possession is now available to be played with as friskily as dared. I’ve already got friends screaming at me not to do it and I legit just might only for shits and giggles. XD

There’s a few things that kinda concern me, too, at least from what we see in the trailer. Here’s just what I’ve asked since I’ve watched it, uh like...like five times-

-Where are so many characters, including and not limited to Mack, Cruz, all the dudes from Rust-eze, all the other racers, and literally anyone from Cars 2??

-Why exactly are Lightning and Mater going on this road trip alone? Is Mack missing because he’s doing something else somewhere? Or Lightning decided that it was going to be a more relaxing and interesting trip if it wasn’t in a trailer the whole time? We know this is Mater’s trip mainly since he’s going to see his sister for her wedding but wouldn’t Lightning want to be the helpful friend and offer a faster ride if they needed it?

(also very important side note, I am so happy that this series is going to be a COMBO and not more Mater’s Tall Tales. Lightning is himself, and he’s being allowed to be kinda open and bubbly and excited to be on this trip with Mater as a team, not just him getting roped into every weird adventure by force and being confused about it. He has a natural desire to actually be here, which is great)

The depiction really reminds me of what they tried to do for Cars 2, but failed at slightly because of the fact that Lightning and Mater were doing separate things and sharing spotlight was getting difficult. But it’s also more than the occasional one-liners that they reduced Mater down to in Cars 3. I hope the balance of the trailer actually does play out into the series, and it’s consistent.

By the way, I combed and combed and combed and at NO POINT did it appear that there was any indicators of the Planes crew being nearby, which has me concerned and rattled. If they aren’t in there after they promised us they would be, I swear to Chrysler I’m gonna make it myself.

(By the way, friends and I are already screaming about the possibility of a season 2 and the chance that rather than going east, they could go west into northern California to an unspecified national park and run into a certain fire and rescue team *intensely waggling eyebrows* We need it so damn bad, Pixar PLEEEEEASE, adopt the late Disneytoon Studio’s orphaned children!!!)

Unorganized additional thoughts:

McQueen having a love of dinosaurs is the fucking cutest thing ever and you cannot tell me otherwise. I will be implementing this into future fics thank you vert much.

Is that monster truck just Cruz? I think that monster truck is just Cruz-

WHY do I have the feeling that the end of this road trip will be met with disaster? We’ve got a clear destination and I have a sinking feeling that when they get there it’s not going to be at all like it was planned.

Okay that’s all we have time for fans and freaks, take care my lovely weirdos, til the morrow, byeeeeee-

#Disney Cars #pixar cars #cars on the road #pixar cars on the road #disney planes #lightning mcqueen #mater

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medtech-mara · 10 months

Note

10, 12, 24, and 30 for Mara? <3

List for questions can be found >here< pls ask me more, or rb so i can ask you some ⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃

TW death.

10. Does Mara have any regrets?

I'm going to be completely honest here, and it gives me a pit in my stomach. The answer can easily be answered with Yes, but at the same time its more complicated.

I'll explain a bit, Mara suffers from Cyberpsychosis, though she's not totally out of control, she exhibits classic signs. One, of those is permeant. I took it upon myself to add this characteristic for her as her only way coping with everything thats happen. No amount of therapy will ever scrub from her. mechanically speaking, she could just go to therapy and if she gained enough humanity back, she would then lose that characteristic.

Mara's traits are the following currently:

Impusle control

Poor behavior control

Cunning and Manipulative

Failure to Accept responsibility

The last one was determined the last time she had dropped to 1 humanity point from full cyberpsychosis, one of those i rolled to see which one would be the perma trait..... So...(IF I had lost 1 more point... I would have had to turn her over to the DM, I no longer get to play her til she gains more humanity.)

Thats where it gets complicated.

God, I feel like I have so much to include here so I'll totally understand if you never ask me a question ever again. xD

If you were to ask ME what I want her to feel regret about its for Jack's death, after all it was her fault. If she had been open and honest with him before she left for the city center gig, he might have been saved from being mauled by one of Biotechnica's experiments. She knew in the pit of her stomach that Jack was up to something, but was too busy trying to remove the kill switch to do anything about it.

If you want to know what she regrets, its a few things:

Not going half on that Sig frame Jago wanted the night before he was beheaded.

Not reaching out and grabbing Jago to keep him from pissing off Tetsuo Okada.

Putting her fear aside and taking her chance with Jack Adams .

12. Does Mara have any sense of style? Regardless of the answer does she believe she has a sense of style?

Honestly, not really. Due to Mara being 6'2, its not easy to find clothes that fit her, so she often has to have things custom tailored for her. Which works great, because she gets the help she needs.

24. Does Mara have any Enemies?

She has no shortage of those... Some I don't even think I can name, because I just don't know them yet. Those I can name:

Tetsuo Okada, one of Wakako's sons, reasons for Night Raid putting him in the hospital for killing Jago.

Another one of Wakako's sons.. For J I H Z Z Y publically humiliating him and shaking him down for the repairs and solving their maelstrom turf war on livestream. I was too drunk over J I H Z Z Y being a bad ass to remember his name, im gonna be real.

Voodoo Boys, for stealing a black box containing unknown program, could have been the A.I that infected NIGHT RAID with the killswitch. Also killing Brigitte second in command, just as equally formidable as Placid. Also the violence between the two is starting to ramp up again. Due to hearing Panthera's interview with Genesis Vijun they've decided to leave a calling card on Mara's clinic door.

Saul Herrera- Valentino Fixer- While, if you ask Saul, he'd tell you she's just a borg'd brain bitch who needs to downgrade, and probably regrets ever contributing to her upgrades. He'd say it started when Desiree "Token" Yang had asked her told flame to help with a prank NIGHT RAID wanted to pull on a sleeping Panthera in the back of the crews car. He agree'd went with one of his chooms, pulled out his piece and tapped on the window of the car to wake Mara, he was to act like he was robbing her.

What NIGHT RAID didn't expect, Mara's reaction to be woken up with a gun in her face. Pulling the lever to get out of the car, Mara slid quickly back and kicked the door as hard as she could, causing the two valentinos to fly back, then Mara pulled her gun out and was about to paint the pavement when Saul's choom grabbed her by her hair pulling her off, kicking, screaming, and determined to go down fighting, Mara hissed clawing at the mans hand warning him if he didn't let her go she was going to rip his throat out with her teeth. Thats when NIGHT RAID stepped in and was like "Its just a prank, bro"

However, you ask Mara, she'll tell you the disrespect he's shown her every single time they met before the prank happened.

30. If Mara had the chance to be famous would she take it? If She is famous would she rather she weren't?

As it stands, Mara is famous. NIGHT RAID is on everyones lips currently. She's easily recognizable by anyone. Frankly, she wishes she wasn't.

It wouldn't matter if NIGHT RAID had stayed under the radar or not, she's married famous South African Rockerboy J I H Z Z Y, who has been making waves in the club scene from JAPANTOWN to Wellsprings, you'll hear his new single.

Though thankfully, Mara brings a threatening energy that most dont wanna fuck with, so they don't really approach her much.

OH MY GOD

I'm so sorry, Info dumped a lot, theres just so much about this campaign and so little time (and frankly peoples interest) to talk about it. I hope this doesn't prevent you from asking in the future. AND DONT JUDGE ME for giving up on linking every single person to the character key or do their respected pages. It's a lot to do. And I think you get the point by the first few times. This is probably all word vomit but its how i thrive in chaos.

#ask box #ask me more plsss #cyberpunk red #cyberpunk red campaign #lonc #legends of Night city #My OC: Mara “Panthera” Sterling #AHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM SO SORRY

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greypetrel · 11 months

Note

Beh, I'm bored. Che ne dici di [ SCAR ] for the prompt game? (Lmao now I'm mixing both languages, il cervello è davvero stanco XD)

LOL chiedimi se avevo capito fossi/parlassi italiano. Because I DIDN’T. Ma buonasera! xD And don’t worry for the mix, it’s perfectly fine, pidgins are the best. u_u

Sorry for being late, I didn’t forgot! Again, this took me a while to mull over and think about it… But after much much musing, I decided to delve back into DadWolf AU, interpret it metaphorically and well. It’s angst.

Angst with a bog unicorn. Enjoy, here’s a glass of iced tea.

Somewhere Only We Know. (🎶)

[ SCAR ]: noticing a scar on the receiver’s skin, the sender tentatively stops them from covering it up, and rests a gentle, soft kiss over it.

When they got back from Minrathous, bringing down a friend who was in need of help, they all knew they would have needed time to cope and digest what happened. And after all it was only natural that they couldn’t have taken it well: they had to abruptly cut off their research, take what they could and jump on the first plane, leave everything they worked for in the last years behind and start from scratch. Felix didn’t know anyone in Ferelden beside the two siblings, had a dime to his name, name he couldn’t use without them all being discovered and followed by mages that weren’t as amiable and good natured as he was, and was also, incidentally, terminally ill.

Knowing their different ways to cope with emotions and grief, nothing was exactly a surprise.

It was no surprise noticing how Aisling retreated back in herself academically, refused to do anything substantial and veered her career towards something she liked, but was very inconsequential to a better good. She faced everything on stubbornly and took too much responsibilities, was in the Hospital as much as she could and worked in the weekends to pay for her own rent, refusing to just go back to the family house if not to visit. She looked fine, but some times she just showed up uncalled for, curled on the couch between Solas and Varric and let them both comfort her, saying nothing and, sometimes, crying. That done, she was good to start back, and never backed up. As per her usual.

Dorian, tho, was a whole other matter. He didn’t give in academically and looked for a field of research that was close to what they were doing North. On his own, and with a different team, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t convince Aisling to jump back in, and Felix soon was in no condition to work continuously. Dorian went on nonetheless. Personally, tho, it was clear he was just swiping every negative emotion under a carpet, refusing to even admit there was something wrong. He went to visit Felix once, when it was clear his time was at its limit, and just held onto Aisling, offering her a shoulder to cry on, during the funeral. A small function, just them, the family that helped and some friends there for the siblings. Dorian didn’t cry, he just glowered at the coffin as if it was blaming it for everything. As per his usual.

They all knew that if Aisling appeared weak, the one they should look up more for was Dorian. They all knew he would have broken down, sooner or later. He always did, accumulating stress and bursting. It wasn’t a matter of if, it was a matter of when.

The when, it turned out, was a week after the funeral, in the form of a horse-transport van that let out a terrible stench, and parked in front of Varric and Solas’ house one Sunday morning.

“What’s the matter? Did you steal the content of a dumpster?”

Varric asked, stepping on the front porch and looking at his daughter, jumping off of the driver’s seat. It was Dorian, tho, to answer him, in a cheerful tone that was way too enthusiastic to be sincere, as he gingerly turned around the front of the track.

“We’re doing an experiment! Just for fun, like the old times… We need the back garden I think, can we? Of course we can, it’s not like you two are really going to build the swimming pool today, are you.”

He laughed, crossing past his sister and starting to unlock the doors of the back, humming between himself. Weird. Very, very weird. The dwarf exchanged a look with Aisling, still propped against the driver’s door, a silent question passing between them. She just shook her head, a sorrowful bent of her mouth telling him everything the dwarf needed to know before she walked back and started to help her brother.

“Did the garbage truck broke again?” Asked Solas, walking out of the door too, a mug of cocoa in his hand.

“Sparkler’s at his limit.”

“It was about time… Still doesn’t explain the stench.”

“I know as much as you do.”

They stood there, looking at the situation unfurling, ready to help at need. From the back of the truck jumped out a Qunari, panting grossly and loudly complaining that it was the most disgusting thing he ever did. Dorian just swatted every complaint, lamenting that for such a big creature he was surprisingly delicate, and urging them all to just get to work and stop losing precious time, tying a scarf around his nose and mouth and going on chatting about how science demanded strong arms and how it wasn’t a job for the weak of hearts.

The job not for the weak of hearts, was, apparently, dragging down the truck what looked like to be, in fact, the corpse of a black horse, lying on his side, flies buzzing all around and legs rigid that Aisling hat to gently bend to maneuver the hoofs out of the door, huffing loudly, a scarf on her nose and mouth as well, but not saying anything at all.

The horse -a poor, big beast who somehow met his destiny with a dagger crossing his head- got transported with difficulty by the trio, via a plastic cover the corpse was resting over, to the side of the house and in the back garden. Dorian kept on chatting with a glee that was very much unlike anything that was going on, the Qunari -Bull, he got called - replying with sarcasm to everything, and Aisling just silently working, casting glances at Dorian from time to time.

Both Varric and Solas follow them, half curious about what exactly he planned to do with a dead horse, half worried because if there was a shade of weirdness that felt like a scream for help, that was it.

But whatever the experiment was, it was for the siblings alone: when the horse finally was in a position that Dorian deemed optimal, he and Aisling started to chat, in a weird mix of Common and Tevene for the most practical things, circling the animal and discussing. The Qunari, without anything to add to the conversation and looking worried as well, stepped away and approached the pair of spectators.

He introduced himself to the pair as the Iron Bull, the mechanic working on Aisling’s car and owner of the garage on the ground floor of Aisling’s flat building. He was very pleased to finally meet the parents. He accepted something to drink –“Is that hot cocoa?”- and was good company, warming up a quite sceptical Solas too for a hour, before he had to get back to work and excused himself.

He patted Dorian’s shoulder, barely noticed if not physically, and earned a dismissive goodbye by a too concentrated mage. Aisling, tho, jumped up and hugged him tight, with a thank you, before getting back to work.

Qunari gone, the experiment went on as if the two siblings were on their own, with none the wiser and absolutely no neighbour peeking through the windows with big eyes. They all got unused to the experiments, in the years.

Solas, worried, went to offer his help when Dorian started evoking spirits, but Dorian harshly shooed away with the assurance that everything was perfectly under control and he didn’t need to worry, this was way past his comfort zone with spirits. Aisling, today’s silent interpreter and service sister, shook her head when Dorian wasn’t looking, preventing the older elf to reply and start a discussion. Again, damage prevented, the parents got the message that there was nothing they could do save going on with their life and waiting for the situation to unfold.

There was no talking him out for a pause or to stop to have lunch all together. He was in the zone, and not intentioned of stopping any time soon, hands working quickly and brain even faster, tension evident in the way he slouched forward and in the way his shoulders were contracted up to his ears. He hadn’t even insisted to have some sort of blanket, sitting on the grass without minding his clothes or his allergies. Which he never did. Varric brought them some sandwiches and a jug full of iced tea nevertheless - Aisling ate, Dorian didn’t. The afternoon went on like that, a frenzy foreshadowing a big, harsh fall.

When the sun was setting, finally, a neigh rose up from the backyard, loud and clear.

Solas and Varric exchanged one look and rushed back in the kitchen and out of the back door right into the garden.

The horse stood on its hooves, stomping confused and shaking his head -the sword was still planted in it. There were runes and glyphs on its flanks, most Nevarran but with some Tevinter and a couple of Elvhen in it, painted in red chalk. Aisling was standing in front of the animal -zombie?-, cooing soothingly and trying to calm the poor beast down. She managed, caressing his nose and patting his neck until it finally stopped neighing and stomping his hooves and breathing too quickly, with the soft voice she always used for horses, and a tired smile on her face.

“Chuckles-”

“I know.”

“The horse was dead.”

“I know.”

As Varric was totally creeped out, there was pride in Solas’ voice, the usual pride that hadn’t been there ever since the children moved out and moved their crazy experiments in a laboratory, out of the house. It was disconcerning, but the horse looked, indeed, alive enough to, slowly, take trust and start nuzzling Aisling’s hand as a normal horse would. Well, there were some issues for him in opening his mouth, but the animal clearly did his best.

“What- Is that… Normal? Possible?”

“Very difficult. But yes. I didn’t know he studied Necromancy of all things…”

“Necr- Oh, shit. Did he-?”

“No. There’s a Spirit inhabiting the horse. Not the original soul. Still, the body can move.”

The Necromancer, tho, in spite of the success, was still sitting on the grass on his butt, legs folded in front of him and back slouched forward and down, not looking at the horse but at his hands in his lap, totally frozen on the spot. A minute later, Aisling reached him, leaving the horse to explore the new surroundings and its new life as she sat beside him.

Their hands were dirty and the foul stench of dead horse soaked their very clothes. Dorian, tho, had lost every willingness to complain.

“He’s fine, I think. What about Ugo? Ugo the Unicorn.” Aisling proposed, scooting close so they were side by side on the grass, shoulders and hips touching.

“Whatever, I don’t care. It’s yours if you want him, I… I just needed to know that-”

He snorted, shaking his head harshly as he grimaced, not concluding the sentence.

“I know, Dor.”

“I could have saved him.”

“You couldn’t have, Dor. That’s not the horse. There was nothing to do.”

“There’s always something to do… If I… If we-”

His voice broke, and her heart as well, all over again.

“We helped him as we could, Dor. We got him out, we were with him until the end. He knew, he never blamed you, he wouldn’t blame you now.”

“I’ve been a coward. I left him alone, and-”

That’s when Dorian started to cry, breath strangled as he unfolded and bends forward, curling on himself and sobbing loudly. Aisling was there to catch him - she had waited that moment ever since he had showed up to her flat, entering with his key and had explained the experiment to her, she was surprised it took so long. She hugged him tight, dragging his bust against hers and holding him as tight as she could. She started to cry too, for company.

“It’s ok. It’s ok. He knew. It’s ok. You did your best, and it was enough. He wasn’t alone.”

He unfurled and hugged his sister back, bawling in her shoulder, months of pressure and regrets and fear finally catching up with him, all together. There was no undoing what happened: the work they had done for the wrong people, in good faith, the escape, running back in the night like thieves, a luggage full of notes and papers prioritized over clothes and personal belongings. A PhD totally lost and to be gained again from scratch, and bringing Felix with them knowing they had no money and his days were counted. Starting from zero and separating in work for the first time. It all had left a scar, in both of them: they just had different ways to manifest it, different ways to cope, and different ways to help the other with it, of metaphorically healing the hurt with a kiss.

And for the first time in years since they left, dragged inside by Solas and Varric who were there too to catch him, coax him to have some dinner and take a shower and coze up all together on the couch, with a movie and blankets. For the first time in years they weren’t alone.

#dragon age #dadwolf au #science bros #bog unicorn #dragon age fic #da:i #writing petrel #aisling lavellan #dorian pavus #solas #varric tethras #fic #da fic #Too metaphoric? Well...

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