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#its frustrating. and you cant do anything about it.
t3ag3rs · 3 days
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i loved your bakugo headcanons omg, the joy i feel when someone writes for characters and actually includes their canonical personalities lol idk if you write for any other characters, if you don't then you can just ignore this, but if you do then could you write similar relationship headcanons for Kirishima or Shinso? :3
hi! im so glad you enjoyed my Bakugou headcannons! I hope this kirishima one fits to your liking! sending lots of love <33
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i definitely think kirishima first ends up seeing you talking to mina on a random day. you and her are just talking about dance when you two are suddenly interrupted by the outgoing redhead inquiring about who you are.
he suddenly realizes that you had went to junior high with them but had never really hung out with the popular group due to having a close circle of friends- one of whom is mina.
"actually? I never saw you..!" he chuckled rubbing his neck with a slight blush, you just wave it off with a quick smile, "nah dont worry bout it.."
well fuck... now at least kirishima knows what exactly he likes the most about you. your gut wrenching, heart pumping, adorable ass smile.
would immediately try and get mina to help him out with you in every. single. way.
"mina, whats her favorite color? And chocolate? To add to that thought- flowers as well. god mina I sound desperate!"
poor baby is so whipped for you he actually cant even manage to hide it in front of you.
kirishimas the type of person to rant to his friends about you with absolutely no knowledge about his surroundings. so much so that he doesnt realize you can hear him occasionally..
do you mind? of course not! its not like you dont have a small- okay fine. major thing for the red head as well...
"kiriiiii..!" groans mina, "stop obsessing over her and just confess goddamnt!" she exclaims frustrated while throwing her hands in the air.
"tell who what?" you grin overhearing their conversation.
you look at the two confused before mina starts, "you see y/n, kirishima here has a-" until you see a hand slapped over her mouth.
"nothing!" grins kirishima quickly. you nod slowly before you see mina side eyeing him with a knowing glance. "fine.." sighs kirishima dropping his hands.
"as i was saying.. our little man over here has a fat crush on you" she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. you immediately break out a shit eating grin, "oh- yeah i kinda know.. he isnt very good at hiding things..." you chuckle.
"why didnt you say anything!" whines kirishima, "you couldve saved me so much time and effort!" completely forgetting that you hadnt given an answer to his confession.
"because i thought it was cute.." you admit with slightly flushed cheeks. you look away to avoid making eye contact before you feel kirishimas hands wrapping around your torso.
"so you like me back then right? please say that means you like me back.." he exclaims happily into your neck.
you just smile and wrap your arms back around him to give him his answer.
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beary-rambles · 2 days
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Undeniable Desire
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c.w season two spoilers; characters (addam and nettles), mention of dragonseeds (nothing more), loss of virginity (jacaerys) non virgin reader, smut, fingering (fem), oral (fem), p in v, clothed sex ?, possessive jacaerys, not proofread
summary: You are dragonseed and have become good friends with the prince. You think nothing of it and not expecting your desires to lead to anything but when you speak of what you think of your future his truer colors show.
w.c: 1.8k
a.n: anybody else cant stop thinking about bridgerton LMAO, i need to rewatch soon, anyways i hope you all enjoy :3 promise im getting around to requests i just needed to push out this idea 🥰 LOVE YOU GUYS
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You finally manage to shake off addam and his drunken rampage with a laugh telling him off. “come on you cant leave yet.” “I am going to bed you fool leave me be.” You knock him upside the head and he groans giving you the opportunity to walk away and turn back to the rest of them with a wave. Chimes of goodnights and sleep well are what your met with and you walk away, feeling eyes burning into you you turn back once more and see him staring at you with an unknown look on his face, taking a drink out of his chalice ignoring alyn next to him who was talking his ear off, not even sparing him a glance as he continues to stare at you.
You turn around attempting to ignore how your stomach burns and your face heats at the thought of him. Jacaerys Velaryon. You just like the rest of your ‘dragonseed’ friends have grown close to jacaerys during your time together. Yet you can’t help but feel their was something different about the way he looked at you and even other people can’t help but notice it either.
‘He is definitely wants to fuck you.’ ‘Nettles!’ The girl next to you laughs before chugging down her wine. ‘Do not say such things.’ Addam walks over and drops down to the spot next to you, ‘what are you two talking about?’ ‘The prince.’ ‘ah and how he wants to shag miss oblivious right here.’ ‘did you guys plan this?!’ You in your frustration rip the cup out of addams hands and chug it. ‘its not our fault he makes it so painfully obvious and you are so painfully oblivious to it.’ You shake your head and keep your gaze at the campfire in front of you. ‘It is not true.’ you don’t see the way the pair look at each other and instead start picking at the grass near you.
Even if it was true it wouldn’t matter, you certainly had no intention of sleeping with him. He was betrothed and he certainly did not seem like the type of man to lay around with any women he saw fit. He was the crowned prince for gods sake the heir to the queen and you were in the middle of a damn succession war feelings be damned and you were certain your friends were just playing jokes on you and he certainly just saw you as a friend.
You think nothing of it as you are getting ready to go to bed, just having put on your night gown after your bath, when the flap of your tent opens and you turn to it alarmed and let out a sigh of relief when you see him. “I am sorry i did not mean to disturb you.” “It is no issue my prince, Do you need something?”
You turn back to the mirror and fiddle around with your hair, eyeing the prince through the mirror. He just stares at you for a moment and takes a drink from his cup, you gulp and look away from him, pushing down your own desires attempting to stop your imagination from running wild. What if he just walked over to you and pushing you against the mirror, ripping off your dress and having his way with you, maybe he would drop to his knees and wrap his lips around your pearl, only letting go until you were withering and begging him to stop.
You shake your head and “Would it be selfish of me to admit i missed you? i feel as though we did not talk much today?” You smile lightly at his words and curse yourself for thinking such terrible things. Of course he simply just wished to see you, as he had been busy with his duties all day, only getting to see you all at the end of they day only for you to leave before getting to say a single word to him.
“You honor me my prince with your time.” He shakes his head with a laugh taking another sip, “i would give you anything in the world.” You flush and look down, fiddling with your dress too embarrassed to move from your place in front of the mirror. Hes just being dramatic you think, he does not mean what he says, especially since he seems to be drinking. “You are too kind my prince.” “Call me Jace i beg of you.” “Would you truly beg me?” “I would get on my knees at your feet and do whatever you asked.” Your knees shake as you press your thighs together, the heat between you legs almost unbearable, a part of you wants to shoo him away so you can put your hand between your legs and take care of yourself or find some poor soul in the camp to relieve yourself with. You don’t, you cannot simply ask him to leave for such selfish reasons, especially since you know deep deep down that if you sought out somebody else you would only be thinking about him.
He seems to realize you don’t plan on saying anything so he begins to speak. “You know they were all talking about something.” You give him an interested look in the mirror and he takes another sip, “About what they were planning on doing after this fight is over. Do you have any thoughts? About what you plan to do?” You look up in thought, “I haven't given it much thought if im being honest.” He hums but says nothing. “Maybe i go off to the reach, it sounds very lovely.” “You would not stay in the keep?” You laugh at his idea and shake your head, “Why would i stay there? What would you miss me?” He says nothing and you don't look at him, instead continue talking, lost in your own imagination. “I would probably travel around for a bit, then find some lord to marry he fuck some babies into me and then i live the rest of my life-” You gasp as your suddenly pushed against the mirror being completely trapped by him, you hadn’t even registered the cup being thrown to the ground.
“My prince?” He flips you around suddenly and your eye to eye with him. His hands grip your waist and pull you directly against him. “You will not leave.” “I don't understand-” “You are not going anywhere you will stay by my side.” He has an animalistic look about him, like he's about to eat you whole, completely bewildered by the idea of you leaving. “I have no place in the keep.” “Your place is by my side.” His words have such a finality and certainty about them as if he's giving you no reason to argue with him. “You are to be married, This is highly inappropriate.” Your words are pushed out like puffs of air as his hands have moved up to your chest, rubbing your nipples through the fabric, you can feel him hardening between your legs. “I shall take you as a my second wife, no one will argue i will be king.” “You are being absurd.” “Do you desire me?”
You pull him into a heated kiss. He quickly reciprocates, his hands moving from your waist to under your night gown and he lets out a delighted hum at the liquid on your thighs. ‘Are you bare?” “I was planning on sleeping.” He moans lightly before he pauses before actually touching, “Do you want this?” you nod feverishly, “Please touch me please.” wasting no more time he runs his fingers along your folds, “This is for me right? and no some stupid pompous lord in the reach.” “yes yes.” You answer him but he doesn't seem to be listening, mumbling to himself in anger. “I hate the lords in the reach, always with each other heads in their asses no way you will marry any of them, let them put a baby in you.” He sticks two fingers inside you, “I wouldn’t i wouldn’t only you.” The pit in your lower stomach grows as you watch in shock him drop to his knees in front of you, his body being lost to your gown as he begins to lick and suck at your clit, his fingers moving quicker to pump in and out of you.
You cannot speak so much of his name. Using one of your hands to cover your mouth to not draw attention to yourself, the other plays with one of your tits, sliding it under your dress. He does not let up, even has you orgasm once then twice, only releasing you after the third time and you fall back, leaning against the mirror with wobbly legs as he keeps a tight grip on you holding you up as he stands. You can see the shine of your own essence on his lips and jaw, you swear you can even see some of it dripping down his neck into his collarbone.
He simply stands there and watches you fiddle around with his pants to free him for a few moments as he licks his lips. “You do not know how often i have thought about this.” You look up at him and give him a smile, “You think of me?” “Every minute of everyday, my waking thoughts and my dreams are only filled with you.”
Before you know it he is pushing into you with a hiss and you chuckle with a delighted moan at his closed eyes and clenched teeth. “First time?” “I may not have been your first but i will be your last.” Giving himself a second to get used to your pulsing warm walls that seem to be sucking him in every second he begins to move. Hes a little sloppy, clearly unsure and if anything a little unconfident about what he’s supposed to do. You place your head on his neck, making sure your lips are right next to his ear and you begin to move your hips to meet his, moaning in his ear only for him to hear.
He gains confidence after a few moments and soon enough you have no longer and need to meet him as he begins to pound into you diligently. Your fingers dig into the fabric of his tunic as the pit in your stomach grows once more. “please tell me your close.” You’re shocked he’s even managed to last this long but nod and he groans in delight. “Please peak please together.”
The mirror behind you is completely covered with a foggy mist just as your eyes are when you finally release. You pray as you catch your breath that you two were quiet enough because you would rather be dead than me made fun of by your friends for finally fucking the prince. But as you feel his seed running out your lips and down your thigh you decide maybe it was worth it.
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perm jacaerys taglist <3
@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese
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autism-corner · 5 months
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god cis people need to shut up about EVERYTHING.
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dennisboobs · 10 months
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my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal
#and to be clear im not diagnosing them charlie said he wasn't neurotypical#like deadass i think. the reason some of their writers just completely botch the gang's motivations/dialogue sometimes is bc at their core#these characters are all. SO autistic. which inevitably leads to them being misunderstood by others outside their group#whether rcg realizes it or not they inject this very specific vibe of neurodivergence into the gang#and its why they will just. argue over inconsequential details bc they Need to be understood completely#they can't just drop it unless they are crystal fucking clear#imo the biggest mistake other writers make is thinking that the gang is completely desensitized when its more like#they just don't react the way you would expect#which is often... adjacent to that but still distinct. and its trauma that influences this as well#the gang does not believe they themselves are 'bad people'. theyre most often oblivious to the fact that the things they do are insane#rob saying he doesnt pick up on social cues and then going on to argue in circles with glenn#i dont think last week was anything crazy but i think. rob doesn't know when to let up. which is a problem that *i* have#and while it comes across as being confrontational in an 'im right youre wrong' way i dont think its driven by ego here#just like with how as they said mac and dennis are making up while chucking bread rolls at each other#on both sides its frustration at being misunderstood#but they are all similar enough that even if they disagree over small details theyre usually on the same page. and this can be beneficial!!#thats the conclusion of the ep!!!! whether its suggesting smoking to cancel out the toxic apple skin or suggesting words u cant think of#glenn said he was upset about feeling misrepresented and picked on#dennis gets angry for those exact reasons in.... ALL of his big rage scenes#its frustration that leads to anger because youre speaking to (another) brick wall and you can't adequately explain yourself#which. glenn is clearly more competent than dennis & i think a lot of the time in sunny the gang is WAY more obtuse for the sake of comedy#but its interesting to watch the dynamic because as charlie said last week#they are mac and dennis (especially when theyre fighting)#i just think.. they are in a semi-unique position to understand this because this is how they are. while several other writers do not get i#ada speaks#untagged
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craycraybluejay · 3 months
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How many great artists and scientists and iventors dyou think died in slave plantations, concentration camps, and meaningless bullshit wars and genocides?
#i think about it every now and then and feel like crying#you know?#someone who died to the cruelty of humanity could have cured cancer#and their lives matter either way but#it causes me anxiety to think that even with whatever value I have it can only mean so much#people are irrational and cruel. i could invent fucking time travel and in some spaces it simply would not matter#how do you play at stocks and mind games with someone who does not Think in that way#a smart play for power or play for anything else is only useful so long as other involved parties arent insane or stupid#how frustrating is that?#irresponsible stupid people in power make my blood boil more than just the power itself#you cant even concede to someone like that either bc they wont understand compromise or surrender#but also its like telling a bully you'll tell his mom that his dad cheated#but the bully is stupid and beats you up anyway and now you both lose because youre definitely going to tell now#you could have come out both winners if he understood your leverage and backed off#but now youre both losers cause you are still all bruised and bloody and he gets to deal with his parents messy divorce#don't negotiate with stupid people. recognize when they arent understanding and just try something else like running#dont fret sometimes an appeal to emotion will kick em into gear#'ill tell your mom' vs 'your mom will be so devastated and sad when she finds out :('#obv dont do that unless someones abusing their power over you/hurting you in a situation you cant just run from#because the best solution if possible is almost always run. leave. get away.#but if you have to fight you want to get at any angle you can#you want to corner the other person so they go from being offense to defense#and if youre just digging/prepping for a bigger thing you want to get them frazzled enough to make a mistake#again. this is for self defense especially in long term abusive/toxic situations#people who abuse using their power usually have ego problems. sometimes you can take a gamble and go for the ego#they do this to you. do it BACK.#and preferably have a weapon on hand if they are liable to violence and unpredictability#better to look for a lawyer than check on the status of your life and health insurances#it is never too late to fight back. some people will tell you helplines but they have not helped me or anyone i know#so i'm telling you how to fight back and protect yourself by any means necessary
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martyrbat · 10 months
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so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!
#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency#adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid#then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!!#everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others#rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you#make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing#or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult#yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred#like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn#so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you#anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds#so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask#like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and#his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking#doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie#and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it#(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me!#and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead!#and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is.#but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’#like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid#who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it.#i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow#anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness
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spacedlexi · 2 months
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hey! i know you make violentine art (don’t get me wrong i LIVE for it.) but id love to see some clouis in your style! i feel like the way you draw clem and however you’ll draw louis will go really well together! <3
if you want like Actual clouis youll have to pay me for it im sorry,, i like drawing them being best friends but nothing more 😔
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gloaming-sometimes · 7 months
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google: how to stop thinking about a new and extremely intense special interest when it is consuming your every waking thought
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ruthlesslistener · 6 months
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Different anon here (putting that just in case so you dont get mad or whatever), you did hit first. Claiming others are "icky" or "dangerous" is a lot more serious than you think, especially with lots of followers like you. And if you wouldn't mind me saying this, but it doesn't look like a sincere apology to me when you add the last bit that says "Well. We hurt each other so there". Can't you apologise without making things about yourself? The reply isn't meant for me, but I kinda notice you have this tendency where you make things about yourself in the end in a lot of your old replies concerning this issue you made for yourself. Which I think also helped fuel the flames to the old problems you faced. Idk, maybe its cause I'm so sick of seeing popular fanfic writers/artist control fandoms whether unintentionally or not. They also apologise like you, making the other party look bad by making it all about themselves.
(First off if this comes off as angry I apologize, I'm not angry I'm tired and confused)
I mean. Yeah I did say that it was gross, but I'm pretty sure I've already said that the error that caused the problem was that I had a completely different perception of what I was talking about than what was actually being said (a genuine error on my part), and also that I didn't realize my words had the connotations that they did, which was another misstep that lead to hurt feelings. Both of those were genuine mistakes caused by me a.) Not knowing what the fuck I was talking about and b.) me forgetting the fact that people don't have the same ideas about fiction that I do. Not really sure what else to do other than repeat that it was a mistake over and over, since the only other option would be to delete what I said but that would be dishonest and wrong. I DID fuck up.
As for the apology, I am sincere that I didn't mean to cause harm, but I am also sincere when I said that the response hit a specific trigger and hurt me as well- because it did. It did hit that specific trigger zone and I see no reason why I shouldn't be clear about it, especially since I wanted to make it apparent that I wasn't just shitting on people and dragging their name through the mud because I have some social status I wanted to flaunt or w/ever. I assumed it would make anon feel better while also asserting the fact that their behavior wasn't exactly okay either because I DID repeatedly say that I wanted the topic to be dropped and it didn't. Even the ground, try to lay down rules to prevent future conflicts, that sort of thing. It was a two-part statement- one, the apology and admittance that I was wrong, and two, the showing of vulnerability on my part to prove that I view myself as on equal standing as them and that I am also flawed and inherent to biases, while also pointing out how to not cause future conflict. I assumed that would be the most effective. I didn't even consider the fandom pov thing or power dynamics, bc this at its core was a misunderstanding between two people that had the misfortune of happening on a public platform.
I will agree that I do have an issue with talking about myself though, because to be frank, my own pov is kind of the only thing I know and so explaining my thought process as it goes is the familiar beaten path. When I say that I'm autistic and have been isolated my whole life apart from one friend (also isolated) and my immidiate family, that isn't a lie. I didn't start talking to more than the same 3 people for extended periods on a regular basis until I was 17. And those three people were my mom, my bff, and a close friend I picked up in high school when I was 15. And even then, those talking periods would be no longer than an hour at a time. This isn't a good thing by any means nor a method of excusing myself, just a means of explaining why I do it and that it's not because I think the world centers around me, just that I have to translate what I think to it for communication with other people to start making sense. Its def. something that I struggle with in even basic conversations, though I am working on that via interjecting various questions and comments about other people vs just proccing an infodump. It's most likely a low empathy issue that I still need to learn workarounds for, because I'm a very low-empathy autistic.
I CAN say that I grow more tempted to just delete and remake to start anew by the day, though, because the thought of being popular and having an influence/being on a pedestal puts me in a state dangerously close to a panic attack. The problem is that I cannot figure out a way to do that in a manner that would actually work, plus I cannot tolerate change.
But genuinely, the thought of power dynamics...it frightens me. My ideal would be a world where I can just push my thoughts and writing out and not be seen at all, except that I can't manage that because then I'd have nobody to discuss hyperfixations or special interests with. I don't WANT to have any sway over people. And its partially because of things like this- because I don't want to fuck up by tripping over an unseen landmine of a social error and then have my reaction be absorbed uncritically, or have that error be held under scrutiny. It makes me feel sick
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termagax · 1 month
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like i think to fish theyre just both people who shouldve died a long time ago and now they arent allowed to. because they need each other. and they both crave that and resent it.
#they WANT to be so important to him that he would fall apart without then AND they resent that they cant fall apart without hurting him#they were having a perfectly decent apathetic slide into eternal misery and then he had to go and ruin it with love. whatever.#like they want to be this essential part of his life because they loooove having that power over him they really really do#and theyre mean about it too. but like. they dont like that it goes both ways#they dont like being looked after or cared about because they get too used to it and they feel themselves falling in love w him again and#they run away. and eventually they come back or he comes back to them. and they tell themselves its just transactional like#they have something he needs and he has something they want#animal sir chloe style#but just like that its like. its NOT that. they need him so fucking bad and they feel better when hes around even when they hate his ass#and espeically after they start 'working' for jr with him its like. they really really love him so bad and they hate it.#these stupid assholes making them feel alive again. making them feel FEEELINGS. liek a PERSON. eugh#and i think they hate how scared they get when something happens to roadhog. theyre supposed to know better than that basically#they feel like needing him is vulnerable because it opens the door for him to hurt them again which is why they so enjoy being the one in#control + being the one who leaves#and the one who lashes out and ect ect. but they cant help themself and they hate hirself for it. so like. well the only solution is that#you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it.#fishs got a case of wanting to die in such a way where they wont take any active steps to get there#but they resent being alive and they resent every minute of pain they endure by being alive. hence the very sex booze violence lifestyle#but the frustrating thing about him is that they. most of the time. like being alive with him. so they have to endure more#more pain and heartache and frustration. and they dont want to but they cant do anything else. they cant even leave again at this point#anyways. my fishy#🐟#they have every disease
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fruitsyrups · 2 months
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ive crossed over into an alternate dimension where side profiles are somehow sometimes easier to draw than other angles. bodies in side profile however... nooo thank you...
#ok the back of the head is hard but the facial features proportions kind of feel easier to figure out . maybe.#weird#n e way im happy with the way i draw faces mostly maybe 50 percent of the time but im so not caught up on drawing bodies#like to the point it just looks bizarre#decent proportional face with like at least some understanding of structure/form even if it's not much#and then the stiffest clunkiest body you ever did see#or i can go the other way around and have an ok body. like decently fluid / proportional. but no face#theres some kind of disconnect. cant have both at once#thats only a sometimes thing though anyways. faces are generally easier#tried to do a teeny bit of gesture drawing yesterday but i was feeling sooo lazy and impatient so only 3 of them turned out ok ish#im pretty sure i post more often talking about art than i actually post art#i dont post most of the things i draw#i like to have my little secrets...#secrets in question are just literally anything that isnt adventure time art#actually looking through my art folder is crazy cause like if i saw this 3 years ago (i was really bad at drawing 3 years ago) i would. idk#drop dead or something#but now its like yeah same old same old. lots of problems. need to work on those.#but its nice to step back and be like woagh holy shit. massive improvement#earlier i was trying to dfraw a character and it wasn't coming out right but instead of getting frustrated and discouraged#it was more like i had this feeling of . idk. excitement to get better at drawing?#i dont know if this is just a temporary mood or maybe im turning over a new leaf. new optimistic mindset about art#<- watch that 'new mindset' totally disappear when i have a slightly more prolonged period of art struggle. lol
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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People be like "you don't look autistic"
Bestie I may be wearing metaphorical shoes but I promise you underneath this, all I feel is wet socks. All the way down. My deepest emotion. Wet sock.
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dockaspbrak · 6 months
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what the hell
#ok not to be rude but#i sort of cant handle the depression perhaps anymore like it is unending#i dont understand why god cant just give me theability to reanimate the dead or perhaps just do it himself#i miss the little guy i kind of dont know what to even do#i feel stupid bc i feel like its like....people dont really perhaps i just dont think people are that cool about talking abt grief#esp about pets..like#i feel silly for being so depressed but i also cant perhaps handle it#the self loathing is really hitting a peak this week idk like#where do ie ven go from here is my thought i guess i dont really want to be alive or do anything i just miss him so much#he was so sweet and small#i keep getting served videos about like senior 20 yr old cats being surrendered to shelters and like#im so mad like id do anything to have gotten 2 more years with him wht the fuck are you giving them up for#what the hell#its frustrating because ir eally dont want to be comforted or even spoken to about this im just like mad#mad and bargaining clearly i forget what stages those are#depressed yet pissed off also like what the fuck did he do to deserve this it was so fucking fast#cherish your fucking pets. treasure every fucking day#ugh#maybe ill try a different kind of eating again for awhile tbh lets see what thats like in the new context of living w regan#its hard bc its human nature to criticize and correct i think so its hard to feel like i have the space to do what i want? bc of that....#idk idk
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samsrosary · 4 months
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pavement parkers fucking suck btw i dont care ur car has nowhere to go. Blind people and wheelchair users exist. they’re not some kind of myth i know at least TEN visually impaired people in my town alone. You Are Making It Harder For Them
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gibbearish · 4 months
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the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice
#like itll be busted as fuck because ill be freaking out but you bet ill be sobbing my way through verbally drafting an email#ive done it before‚ like im a frustrated crier and once i start crying i cant turn it off so ive had a couple times where i had a breakdown#at work‚ cried about it a lot‚ and my lead pulled me into a meeting room after i calmed down to check in#and as soon as i started talking it just started again so i had to be like 'sorry th-this is just something m-m-my bod-dy does‚ i-i'm calm#m-mentally but i just c-cant turn this-is off‚ just try to i-ignore HIC it and f-f-focus-s on the w-wwwords‚#(tired of crytyping so just mentally fill it in yourself in everything else i say)#n they offered me more time to chill but im like no really i genuinely am calm‚ i calm down wayyy before my body does its gonna#keep doing this on and off all day‚ it takes hours for it to fully calm down and is on a hair trigger the entire time#so thinking about this will make it kick back up again no matter what unless we talk tomorrow‚ so if youre ok with bearing with me then cool#and theyre like. dang ok and just focused on what i said#or much more recently i was talking to my roommate‚ stopped‚ held up a finger + stood there silently for ten seconds‚#then was like 'sorry about that‚ i think i have to throw up. excuse me for a moment. what was that? oh gotcha yeah i'll message you if i#need anything‚ thank you'#and just typing it out like that it sounds like i was fine and just saw it coming a ways away. however that is not the case#i had had my covid booster and some other vaccine earlier that day‚ lost 5 vials of blood‚ eaten Nothing‚ drank only#acidic-ass apple juice‚ and had just hit my vape too hard#keeping it in once it made its presence known was a feat of will the likes of which have never been seen before#and still my sentences prevail
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stinkrascal · 1 year
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