#it's too late!!!! enough internet for today

[becauseimanicequeen]

Don't Ask Me for QL Recommendations Because My Taste is BAD

Bad as in TRASHY.

For your own good, don't ask me for recommendations.

I'm writing this because I've gotten some asks lately for QL recommendations and I wanted to spare you the pain.

If you still don't trust me (because to be fair, why would you? I'm just a random weirdo on the internet), let me tell you how bad my taste is so you'll know why I'm doing you a great favor by sparing you the pain.

(I also watch, and rewatch, series/films for ridiculous reasons, yet another reason not to listen to me. I’ll come back to this in a minute.)

Let's start with a brief rewind to a couple of decades ago (because it matters in this context).

The first queer content of any kind I can remember watching was Xena: The Warrior Princess in the late 90s and early 00s (I was a child/pre-teen at the time). It was such a pivotal point for me, which is why I remember it vividly. Not only was Lucy Lawless (the actress playing Xena) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen at that point, Xena was also queer and I loved her.

The series, though? It’s bad.

It’s over-the-top, contains ridiculous humor, face-palm-worthy fight scenes, etc., etc. (But, it was also the 90s, so it was quality television at the time, no matter what anyone else says.) It was so bad that it was ridiculously entertaining. I would watch it today (if I could find it anywhere…). That’s how bad my taste is (or how attached I am to bad shit).

That’s when the groundwork for my bad taste was laid. I blame THANK Xena: The Warrior Princess for it.

Then there was a huge skip until July last year when I found the Asian QL world, because I had no idea it even existed (I’m from Europe, btw).

(My personal story is that I fell into the queer/gay film world before the QL world, and the queer films I could find were made and released very sporadically. But ever since I found the treasure trove of Asian QL series in July 2023, I’ve watched 291 series/films as of right now.)

The reason I fell into the Asian QL world was thanks to a Short on YouTube with the main characters from Roommates of Poongduck 304 kissing. (Want to know what convinced me to watch it? One of them was wearing blue and the other pink, two of my favorite colors. Yep, that’s the reason. Told you it would be ridiculous.)

Since then, I’ve been exploring this rabbit hole and loving every second of all the bad shit that’s out there (there’s some great shit too, and some great things that aren’t shit at all, but they’re not really my taste because my taste is trashy, remember?).

I quickly noticed what my taste was pulling me towards and, in some cases, the trashier it was, the more I liked it.

(I’m talking about fiction here. I’m mature enough to be able to separate fiction from reality. Just because I enjoy watching a series/film that depicts a problematic topic, and sometimes do it in a problematic way, doesn’t mean I condone it in real life. I’m just putting this here as a disclaimer because people on the internet are easily offended nowadays. And I honestly don’t have time to respond to people who are venting their anger after purposefully misinterpreting what I’ve said, unless there’s a very valid reason, which there usually isn’t.)

So, what are some of my favorites that I absolutely do not recommend you watch?

Unless you want to watch trash, then, have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

(Btw, if you like any of these, I apologize for calling your taste bad and trashy. But, if you like any of these, I think you already know your taste is bad. Also, if you like any of these, hey, bestie!)

Let’s start with the less extreme ones so I don’t scare you away from the start. After that, they’re in no particular order.

(With the issues/TW section for each series/film I include possible trigger warnings, taboo topics, what viewers/commenters have brought up as problematic, my possible issues with the writing, etc. I won’t list everything (because some of them would have looong lists) but I’m including some of the major ones.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

Both couples in this series have their own set of issues. Ai Di and Chen Yi are the “adoptive” brothers who become lovers while Ze Rui and Zong Yi have an age gap (I can’t remember how big of an age gap but I think it was close to 10-ish years).

(Before I move on there’s one thing you should know about me… I was born into a family with a varying degree of age gaps within marriages, from 2 to 23 years. Even though we’ve talked about the bigger age gaps occasionally, it’s never been an issue. I don’t mind age gaps as long as they’re legal. Does that mean I would hook up with someone in their late teens or early twenties? No. I would rather hook up with someone who has a fully developed brain, which science suggests doesn’t happen until somewhere in the mid-to-late-twenties. But it does mean that age gaps (as long as they’re legal) aren’t something I’ll be bothered by or judgemental of.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me is one of my favorite series because:

It’s from Taiwan, and the Taiwanese QLs are generally great at dealing with more difficult and taboo topics.

Ai Di is the feistiest, most colorful, and pettiest bitch and I love him with my entire ice-cold heart.

Chen Yi looks amazing in black.

The neon lights (because I’m a slut for that).

Also, the kissing (from both couples) is great.

You know, I did say that these would be series/films I absolutely do not recommend you watch. But I’ll actually recommend this one. Watch it. It’s great.

Unknown (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another one I’ll actually recommend you watch because it’s great.

The main couple (Qian and Yuan) are the “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers while the age gap is most prominent between San Pang (Qian’s business partner) and Lili (Qian’s younger sister). There’s also the fact that San Pang is part of their chosen family and has seen Lili grow up and stuff. So, if that bothers you, then don’t watch it.

The biggest reasons I would personally recommend it to those I know aren’t particularly bothered by taboo topics are because:

The yearning is palpable (and I love shit like that).

Qian would move heaven and earth for his family.

The great story.

The even more amazing acting.

Some moments made me bawl (and since I'm an ice queen, I get obsessed with shit that shatters my ice and makes me cry).

I know I said my taste is trashy… but I would actually give myself a gold star for loving this one.

Now, back to the real trash…

Love in the Air (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, rape, MAME, etc.

Everyone and their aunt (or however the saying goes in English) seem to have an issue with MAME (the original creator of LITA and several other trashy BLs) and for good reason. (I would say that she improved a lot with Wedding Plan, which is the least problematic thing I’ve watched from her and it’s the latest series of hers, as of right now.) If she’s grown, remains to be seen. But it doesn’t change the fact that LITA has some issues.

Honestly, I just watch this for the visuals, as in the motorcycles and the neon lights. That’s it. That’s the reason.

I mean, if you look at the whole first sex scene between Sky and Prapai, you get what I mean with the neon lights. It’s divine. (I recently rewatched LITA for this very reason. A waste of time, you say? Not when you’re a slut for neon lights.)

Don’t watch this though! Just enjoy this gif instead…

I just saved you 13-ish hours of your life. You’re welcome.

TharnType and TharnType 2: 7 Years of Love (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, homophobia, domestic violence, MAME, etc.

Don’t watch this. This is bad. As in, really bad. And all the issues are in the main couple’s relationship.

But, since my taste is really bad, I rewatched this recently for horny reasons (it’s Mew, after all, and he’s got me in a chokehold for some reason). It’s still as bad as I remembered it, but I would still rewatch it for Mew’s sake (and because Techno is ridiculous throughout both seasons, which means I love him).

To be fair there are other, a lot spicier, series that I watch more often for horny reasons (yes, some of them are in this post because they’re trashy too), but none of them include Mew. And since I have to get my dose of Mew from time to time, I return to TharnType (especially the second season).

Big Dragon (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, blackmail, etc.

This isn’t that problematic in my opinion, but there is definitely a drug-induced sexcapade that’s taped and used for blackmail for a while. And that's how the series starts.

I recently did a rewatch of this and it was still bad (in a good way) and I loved every second of it.

What I love about this series are:

The visuals. The set designs are beautiful (especially Yai’s home and the bar, before he demolishes it). As a visual artist, this is speaking to my soul.

The chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn.

Pong and Park. Two idiots I love with my whole ice-cold heart.

And the title track because it’s addictive as hell to listen to.

Also, the sex (which my horny ass needs). Let's not forget the sex. Those scenes were also visually stunning, which made me love them even more.

Honestly, I'll kneel and bow down to this shit because it's that great.

Don’t trust my judgment, though, because my taste is trashy.

Only Friends (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Manipulation, stalking, promiscuity, etc.

This series is messy in terms of intrigue (especially from Boston and then Boeing’s part). The ending had some issues. The sex isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, either. I, on the other hand, would drink a whole pot of this.

Overall, I loved this trash. Mainly because of:

How visually stunning it is.

Sand. He’s a hardworking, good person. He’s also a proud bi!

How they depicted and handled Ray’s addiction and recovery. (I know some watchers were upset that the focus of the series landed on Sand and Ray towards the end while neglecting the other characters, which is a valid point. However, setting that aside, the way they portrayed Ray’s addiction and then his road to recovery in the last couple of episodes was realistic, and I loved it.)

The promiscuity, because I loved it and the mess it created.

Boston being a slutty asshole. The more of a slutty asshole he was, the more I loved him. (I know, it’s a me-problem.)

Boeing coming in and kissing (almost) everyone.

It’s trashy, it’s messy, and I love it!

But, I don’t recommend it to anyone.

My Beautiful Man 1, 2, and 3 Eternal (Japan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, obsession, bullying, lack of (or no real) communication, etc.

I love this series (2 seasons + 1 film), but I honestly don’t see it as particularly problematic. But I know others will disagree with me, so here it is on my list of trashy QLs.

I don’t mind Hira’s obsession because I know Kiyoi is just as whipped for Hira (even though he doesn’t know how to communicate it to Hira at first, especially in a way that Hira understands). Would I be okay with someone’s obsession and stalking in real life? Of course not. But, as I mentioned before, I’m mature enough to separate fiction from reality.

Also, I love miscommunicating characters, especially when the misunderstandings they create bring out all the emotions (angst, hurt, anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc.) and even the flight response. I especially love miscommunicating characters when they learn to communicate throughout the series/film. And this series is especially delicious on the miscommunicating part.

But, it’s also problematic, apparently. So, don’t watch it.

The End of the World With You (Japan)

Issues/TW: Blackmail, biphobia, cheating, etc.

I’ll be honest and say that I’ve only watched this series three times. And that’s because the biphobia is fucking annoying. In this series, the bi character is depicted as a cheater (which is common in QLs, btw). It’s an exasperating stereotype. Cheating has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with who you are as a person.

(I mean, you can be a proud bi like Payu in LITA or Sand in OF. They have eyes only for one person as soon as they’re pursuing or dating someone. Give me more bi characters like this, please.)

We could discuss how cheating can be used as characterization in certain stories. But not in this one. Here, they’re basically using Ritsu’s bisexuality as the reason he’s cheating (since he’s sleeping with Masumi while having a thing going on with a girl, and then sleeping with a girl when he has a thing with Masumi), which is why it’s bothering me in this series.

If I’m going to tell you why I like this series, however, it’s for 2 reasons:

It’s about getting a second chance, a topic I love.

The sex (laser-focused horny Ritsu is my favorite Ritsu).

Check Out (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Biphobia, cheating, lazy writing, etc.

(It should be mentioned that I’ve read some comments about some issues involving the company behind this series. I haven’t dug deeper into this so I don’t really know if there’s any substance to the comments I’ve read (like official statements from the company or the other people involved, etc.). But I’m putting this out there in case this might be a potential issue for you (even though I’ve already told you that I don’t recommend you watch any of these because they’re all trashy).)

When I first checked this out at the beginning of this year, this series seemed to have created a storm of bad comments and reviews on MDL since it first came out. So, obviously, I needed to watch it because my taste is trashy.

And, you know what? I loved it!

Besides having the bi character depicted as a cheater (again, the use of this biphobic stereotype is so fucking annoying) and the sporadic clunky and stale scenes, I loved this series because:

It’s about second chances. As I mentioned before, I love that topic.

Best (the actor playing Daonuea) is the best in this series. There’s just something about him that grabs my attention every time. He has me in a similarly tight chokehold as Mew.

There’s sex (and my horny ass needs it).

But, it’s also trash, so don’t watch it.

Pit Babe (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Domestic violence, non-consensual, SA, age gap, etc.

This became popular. Really popular. I saw people comment about it everywhere. And usually, when stuff becomes popular, it’s more than likely reduced to trash quality by the general public. So, obviously, I had to watch it.

Did I end up loving it? Yes.

Honestly, the biggest issue this series had for me was the whole omegaverse thing (this was a new thing for me because I don’t come from an erotic fiction background, my head was rather stuck in fantasy fiction). And, from my limited understanding of this, they didn’t seem to fully commit to the omegaverse thing in Pit Babe, which was unfortunate.

The racing was also so-so for me, which hurt my soul because I usually love racing (cars, mcs, boats, etc.).

What I did like, however, was:

The chemistry between Pete and Kenta (and I’m so sad I only got crumbs of this).

Pavel (the actor playing Babe). I would watch and listen to him recite product placement scripts for toothpaste all day long.

The sex, especially the scene with Babe and Charlie in ep. 9 (even though it was mixed with clips from the racing) and Jeff and Alan’s scene in ep. 13 (because it was sensual, if we ignore the music).

The neon lights (have I mentioned that I’m a slut for neon lights?). I mean, just look at this:

I can watch that pinkish light all day long, even though Babe and Charlie are trying to distract me. (Especially Pavel!)

Dead Friend Forever (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Grooming, bullying, suicide & suicide attempts, etc.

Besides the issues listed above, this also suffered from lazy writing at the end. BUT, I fucking loved DFF anyway.

I never expected to love this series because it’s just a bunch of teenagers stuck at a house in the woods. How interesting could that be? Turns out, very.

DFF wasn’t perfect (perfection doesn’t exist anyway), but what I loved about it was:

The morally ambiguous characters.

The revenge plot.

The poetic justice.

The questioning of what was real vs hallucination.

The visually stunning shots.

The mask!

And Tan’s mask!

The beheading scene.

I could go on, but you get the point. I just love this piece of trash.

But, please, don’t watch it. You will suffer from brain rot. Trust me.

I, however, am currently rewatching this because I choose the brain rot. And my taste is trashy, remember? Or, perhaps I just love watching chaos unfold…

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, tragic ending, etc.

Everyone and their aunt and even their dog have an issue with the ending of this one. And it’s understandable.

I don’t necessarily like or dislike the ending. Obviously, the bury your gays trope is tragic in itself, and, tragically, it’s still being used. That’s why I couldn’t find myself liking the ending, even though I don’t mind tragic endings. (Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite classics, which people tend to forget is a tragedy and not a romance, btw, but I digress…)

At the same time, though, this series made me cry for a whole episode before tragedy struck because I could feel it. And you have no idea how obsessed I get about shit that makes me cry (since I’m an ice queen).

(Another side note: one of my favorite BLs is Once Again, which made me bawl throughout the whole series. It’s not on this list because it’s neither trashy nor bad, but it’s still one of my favorites because it broke me in the best ways. But, anyway…)

The best part of this series from beginning to end was the other couple, at least for me. This couple is the one with the age gap (which, again, doesn’t bother me) and I fucking love them! One, because Wilson Liu (the actor playing Bo Xiang) is such a gem. Second, because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. And I loved it (just as much as the squeezing of boobs from behind, which, for some reason, appeals to me).

Also, the twins are so pretty it’s annoying.

Do I recommend it, though? No, because I don’t have time to respond to the clap back I’ll get when you come to the end.

HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, obsession, age gap, stepbrothers becoming lovers, etc.

This one has some problems (especially the relationship between Yong Jie and Xing Si), but I love both the series and its problems (yes, I’m trash). You could say that I’m as obsessed with this series as Yong Jie is with Xing Si. Would I get this series drunk and fuck the living daylights out of it? No. But I would watch it once every 3 months or so. Oh, wait… I already do that. Because I’m trash.

What do I love so much about this series (other than what I mentioned above):

It’s from Taiwan.

Li Cheng is ridiculous, which is exactly why I love him.

Every time I rewatch it, it gets funnier.

The chemistry between Li Cheng and Teng Teng is amazing.

As well as the chemistry between Yong Jie and Xing Si.

The kissing is just as amazing.

The main fujoshi girl, Mei Fang, is so cute I can’t handle her.

And the bathroom scene! In that lighting! It’s iconic!

I don’t care what anyone else says. This is fucking gold to me. But, then again, my taste is trash. So, don’t listen to me.

KinnPorsche (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, torture, Stockholm syndrome-ish, etc.

This is some next-level trash, and I fucking love it.

Two of the major relationships in this series (Kinn & Porsche and Vegas & Pete) are problematic at some point. Especially Vegas and Pete who have this whole captor/captive, torture, BDSM-ish type relationship. Of course, I love Vegas and Pete because my taste is super trashy (yes, it’s a me-problem, but I don’t force my taste on other people, so, for the love of all that is holy, don’t watch this!).

Other reasons I love this series and rewatch it from time to time:

It’s visually stunning! The cinematography is amazing. As I mentioned before, I’m a visual artist, so this is a very valid reason for me to watch it again and again. And again.

The neon lights.

The whole mafia thing.

The sex (because my horny ass needs it).

Playboyy (Thailand)

Issues/TW: SA, homophobia, suicide, etc.

I was debating whether or not to add this to my list solely based on the ending. However, up until that point, I really liked it.

The fact that every episode starts with a whole ass list of trigger warnings tells me this is my shit. And it was.

At times, it was so bad that it was good (until the ending, which was just so bad it was bad). The things I liked were:

The mystery.

Win (who played Nuth). His acting was great.

The chemistry between Nuth and Phop.

The tattooed daddy that’s Aob and his chemistry with Puen (there’s also an age gap here, btw, but as I’ve mentioned before, it’s fine by me as long as it’s legal).

The weird ass sex scenes (and the underwear).

And the not so weird ass sex scenes (like the ones between Aob and Puen and the ones between Nuth and Phop).

But, this series is trashy. Keep as far away from it as possible. If you still decide to dip in, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Red Wine in the Dark Night (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Obsession, blood, human blood bags, etc.

This is a queer film that’s BL-ish with some dark themes. Mainly, it’s about how far Wine would go to help the person he’s fallen for (or become attached to).

What I loved about this film was:

Fluke (who plays Wine). He’s such a great actor and I love him in everything he does.

Wine who is so desperate to love someone and be loved that he ends up doing some weird shit.

The darker and sadder vibe, which I love.

Irresistible Love 1 and Irresistible Love 2 (China)

(This is also called Uncontrolled Love.) 

Issues/TW: Obsession, homophobia, codependency, adoptive brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another queer film (in two parts) that is more BL-ish than the films I’m getting into below.

This depicts a weird relationship dynamic between Xie Yan and Shu Nian where Shu Nian was basically adopted into the family to become Xie Yan’s friend/babysitter/lackey. This is some weird ass shit, and I love weird ass shit so I really enjoyed this rare, uncensored, gem from China.

But, it’s also trashy. So, don’t watch it.

The next couple of films I’ll mention are (obviously) trashy, but also complex and deep (which is why I love them).

One Summer Night (South Korea)

Issues/TW: Obsession, dependency, oppression, etc.

This is a low-budget film from 2016 (so, production-wise, it’s definitely nothing like the usual stuff from South Korea you can watch on Netflix), but I love it.

It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s explicit (an emphasis on explicit because you’ll see dicks), it deals with being a North Korean defector but ending up in an impoverished situation in South Korea, and it ends with a dubious ending you can interpret in different ways.

This is definitely not for the general QL viewers who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

And it's trashy. So, don’t watch it.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (Japan)

Issues/TW: All the trigger warnings! Seriously. I feel like it’s better to say that so you’ll look up the TWs for yourself (if you choose to watch this, which I'm asking you not to) rather than me mentioning a few and forgetting others.

With this film, what others see are all the trigger warnings (and, yes, I see them too, they’re fucking obvious). However, I can see beyond that and watch it for what it is at the core: Two characters dealing with incredible grief.

Grief is a topic that often affects me and I can relate to it because I’ve had to deal with a lot of grief in my relatively short life. Watching a film like this where grief pushes the characters to their very limits will (often) get a special place in my heart, especially if done well. And it’s done very well in this film.

Do I condone the characters’ behaviors? No (especially not Yoden Ryoji’s). But I do understand that grief can send you over the edge (and in some cases throw you off the edge) because I’ve experienced it. I do understand that grief can cause you to make horrible decisions because I’ve done it (though, not this extreme). I do understand that grief can be self-destructive because I’ve been there. This film shows it all. That’s why I love it so much.

Do I recommend you watch this, tough? No. Don’t do it. This is not for everyone. It’s definitely not for those who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

But it is for me because I love trash. Especially good trash. And this is the best trash I’ve ever seen when it comes to gay films.

Anything by Scud Cheng

Lastly, I want to mention any film by Scud Cheng because…

And I’m an artist so art means everything to me.

Cheng is a screenwriter and director from Hong Kong. His films, the ones I’ve seen, are gritty, nude, and real. They are more on the art side than the others I’ve listed above, which is why they have a special place in my heart.

They’re also deep and explore themes like introspection (are we doing things because we believe they’re the right thing to do, or because external forces have “brainwashed” us to believe they’re the normal thing to do?), the porn industry and how it exploits young and queer men, death, politics, and love, to name a few.

These are not for the average QL watcher. They’re not for the faint of heart. They’re not for those who want an entertaining watch.

These films require multiple viewings. I’ve watched some once, some twice, and some more times, and I still find new themes and meanings woven into the stories. So, they’re complex and deep.

But, don’t watch them because I know you’ll come at me later. So, to spare us both the time and energy it would take to argue about this shit, just don’t watch any of it.

Now, if you still want to ask me for recommendations after all that, don't tell me I didn't warn you!

#kiseki: dear to me #unknown #unknown the series #love in the air the series #tharntype #big dragon the series #only friends the series #the end of the world with you #my beautiful man #utsukushii kare #check out the series #pit babe the series #dead friend forever #dead friend forever the series #dff #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #history 3: make our days count #history 3: modc #history 4: close to you #playboyy the series #red wine in the dark night #irresistible love #uncontrolled love #one summer night #dangerous drugs of sex #taiwanese ql #taiwanese bl #taiwanese series #thai ql

[zh-lele]

Moon Taeil is a Frank Ocean enthusiast never forget it

#from me to me #that's so important to me #soooooo important #like if we ever get married we are gonna sip wine and listen to channel orange together #then drive when the sun is setting while listening to nights with the windows rolled down #you know what i mean? #lit a cigarette up when pink matter starts to play #yessssss ah #zh-lele.txt #it's too late!!!! enough internet for today

[cosmosis]

based on this image from @fr3akingtf0utrn

MOVED TO @seratopia

miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - office life

how miguel o’hara slowly makes you fall for him check out my miguel o’hara masterlist here!

Miguel O’Hara doesn’t fall in love with just anyone.

But... every time he sees you around the office, his hands almost inch towards you like a moth would a light. Something ignites in him that he can’t explain, but he can’t help but want so much more of you. 

He likes to give you bagels and coffee during your breaks. (haha) Your work almost seems to magically disappear, and you’re a lot of the time left to finish up the easy stuff. Somehow, he’s even managed to sit with you for lunch, the rest of the spider-people in the cafeteria staring at the two of you while you eat. 

The entire building, all of the spider-people seem to know the happenings between you and Miguel, and they love it. It’s become somewhat a staple gossip within the workplace.  

Anyone bold enough would pass by Miguel in the hallways and say, “We’re rootin for you, boss!” In which Miguel wouldn’t know how to feel, whether it’d be angry or happy. 

As of now, the two of you have been flirting around, evidently more than just coworkers. He’s yours, and you are his. To you, though, he’s the absolute sweetest. He takes work off your plate, he’s kind, and he adores you. 

You’ve noticed Miguel getting a bit touchy lately, which you aren’t necessarily complaining about. Whether it’d be on your arm, a gentle hand on your neck to guide you through a crowd, or just being generally close to you, Miguel has been making his advances on you after Lyla spilled how it should be fine to do. 

His touch makes you shiver a little; he’s extra warm and so very gentle. You almost always lean into his touch, and Miguel loves it too, he just doesn’t admit it upfront. 

“You did great today, Miguel.“ You say. 

Both you and Miguel just headed back to Nueva York from a mission, taking out another stray anomaly that wouldn’t come without a fight.

 Miguel’s stomach flutters a little. Rarely, he ever gets praised by anyone. He’s the boss, the CEO; most of the time, he feels like it’s expected of him to do the best job. But, praise tastes much more sweeter when it comes from you. 

“You did well yourself, sweetie.“

Miguel’s mask dissolves away, leaving behind his pretty face. You don’t think you’d ever get tired of it. He gives you this look of adoration, one that the rest of the office has never, ever seen in person. 

You’re in Miguel’s office, well, more like your shared office. Miguel insisted that you’d move into his office, claiming, “I don’t want to go through the entire building just to find you for something.” which is code for, “I can’t live a day without being near you.” 

So now, you have your own desk and work area. You’re both alone, no one to bother, (except maybe Lyla, but she knows better.)

You’re at your desk, and Miguel steps up behind you. His big hand slithers to your lower back, running his fingers against the curve of your spine. He’s warm, you can still feel the heat radiating off of him from the previous mission. 

You feel him lean in, discreetly nosing his face into the top of your head. You lean in back, bumping your upper back into his chest. 

“Is this okay?“ Miguel mumbles, serious heat trailing up to his neck and ears. 

You nod. “Yes.”

And it was sealed from there. 

Now, Miguel rubs your back too often. His hand fits into place with your back like a puzzle piece, Miguel always finding some kind of way to lay his hand where it belongs. You love it. 

In the office? Yes.

During lunch? Yes.

Even on missions, he pulls you by your lower back to usher you away from a hit, and you both play around with that. He’s all fun and games when on missions, flirting, teasing, kissing. 

Now, it almost feels wrong when he isn’t touching you. 

. . .

“Hey, girl, look at this!“ 

Lyla pops in, automatically pulling up an internet article on your desk screen. It’s a web article; “The Science Behind Courtship in Male Spiders”

“Lyla, what does this have to do with anything?“ You ask.

Instead, she just scrolls into the article, highlighting a quote; male spiders give “back rubs” to seduce their mates. 

You raise your eyebrow. 

“You wanna know why Miguel’s been rubbing you so much? It’s cause of that!“ Lyla exclaims, as if she’s discovered this new scientific theory. 

“I guess you’re kinda right on that.“ You mutter. But, the more you start to think about it, the more it makes sense.  

Now every time Miguel palms your back, you think about the article. 

© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #atsv miguel #atsv x reader #atsv lyla #atsv #spiderman #across the spiderverse #lyla #atsv miguel o'hara #x reader #reader inser #fluff #romance #cosmosis-writes ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

[itaipava]

— habits f1 boys developed in your relationship.

˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS

the first thing he does in the morning is open his phone; since he started dating you, nothing is on his mind but you. you’re the one constant he can’t get rid of and he thinks you might be the death of him. even when he’s working, all he sees is your face, which always leaves him with a bright and passionate look followed by a silly smile on his lips that always makes others smile and joke about how in love he is. when he starts his day, he wants the first thing he sees is you; so every morning when he wakes up he picks up his phone to admire his lock screen; which is you smiling hugely at the camera as he kisses your cheek. and smiling, he sends you a cute and genuine good morning message.

˒ ⌕ DANIEL RICCIARDO

he always looks at you first when he makes a joke or sarcastic comment; since you two were just friends he always liked your laugh and your smile, so he’s always making some joke or sarcastic comment about something or someone and, without realizing it, he turns his face to look at you and can’t help but smile. and when you’re in crowded places, he always pulls you close and whispers in your ear something he’s noticed or some inside joke. everyone says he gets even more talkative and funny when you’re around, but he doesn’t mind the teasing because your smile is the best thing he could ask for.

˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ

he always takes a moment out of his day to be with you; no matter how busy his day is or what’s going on, he always wants to take a moment to lie with you and be able to talk, feel you there. he traces the details of your face while asking about your day and what has been going on in your life and mind lately. he loves and appreciates every second with you and those little moments are the most important to him; he hugs you on the bed and expresses his love in every way he can.

˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC

he likes to do things together; he loves your presence and he loves to share the same happiness and peaceful atmosphere with you, so everything he is going to do he calls you to do with him; mainly taking a shower. he loves the feel of the intimacy of rubbing each other’s bodies, washing each other’s hair, and laughing at the silly things only the two of you do. he also loves to hug you after a shower, he puts something on the television but he doesn’t care at all, he’s too busy getting lost in your body and the delicious smell of soap and lotion that exudes from you. he loves these little moments with you, he loves you.

˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON

he texts you every day; he can’t go too long without talking to you or making sure you’re okay and taking care of yourself, so whenever possible he texts you or even calls you. he also likes to send you pictures or videos that he saw and ‘remembered you’ just to brighten your day a little. you always wake up to texts from him, saying something like ‘good morning my love. i hope you have an amazing day today. please take care. i’ll always be here’ and his messages are also the last thing you see before you go to sleep. even though it’s such a simple gesture, you can see his love and adoration for you and how much you mean to him.

˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI

he always carries extra stuff for you; in his backpack, there is always an extra hoodie in case you get cold, medicine, your favorite snacks, hair ties, and anything else you might need. he readily helps you pin your hair up - because he’s seen enough tutorials on the internet to learn how to style your hair perfectly - or helps you put on the hoodie; he always gives you a kiss on the forehead as if he’s glad he could help you. he has always promised to take care and protect you from anything and he shows it through small gestures and you appreciate it from the bottom of your heart, which makes him even more in love with you.

˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN

he decorates all your favorite things; he always makes breakfast the way you like, you often wake up to the smell of ready-made coffee; he leans against the doorframe with a cup in his hand and smiles lazily at you when you wake up. he loves to learn your quirks and mannerisms; he ends up taking all of them and just realizes he’s doing the same thing as you when you point it out. he also loves to please you so he often brings home your favorite flower in your favorite color, or cooks your favorite dish, or plays your favorite music at random times. he always smirks when he realizes how happy those little things have made you, and he couldn’t be more in love.

#formula 1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #lando norris fic #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #carlos sainz fic #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz imagine #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri fic #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic

[lovelybrooke]

Best Friends Forever (Platonic Yandere Death Note).

Btw some of the timeline might not make sense but whatever.

"Hello."

The tiny little text popped up, a small 'ping' sound following. You groan as your bombarded with the blue light, picking it up to read the message.

"Another message from them." You thought.

They had no name. You didn't share your names with each other. You only knew him as Justice, which he told you to call him. Personally, you thought it was a corny name, but who were you to judge?

"Why are you up so late?" You're straight forward, too tired to entertain your online friend.

You watch as three dots appear before their response pops up. "I was bored." Before you could respond, another message appeared. "You're up too."

You let out another groan that was muffled by your pillow. You know you parents wouldn't like you being up so late, so you tried to stay as quiet as possible when talking to your companion. For some reason, they were always up so late, messaging you all throughout the night.

Your fingers glide across the screen as you answer, "I'm up because you woke me up." Your response displayed a clear sign of frustration. You through your phone down onto your bed and closed your eyes until the next response. You swear, that ping will haunt you forever.

"Have you been keeping up with Kira?" They ask. This wasn't the first time they've asked you questions regarding Kira. In fact, they ask you at least once a week if you've been keeping up with everything. It's almost comical at this point.

You role your eyes while typing, "Of course, Justice, why wouldn't I? Thats basically all we talk about."

His response comes quick, "I'm just making sure. You never know what's out there."

"Why would Kira want to kill me?"

"You never know." Their response was cryptic, ending the conversation as you drift off back to sleep.

——

(Y/N)? Wake up, sleepyhead." Your sister, Sayu, cheerfully yells. Your eyes snap open and you straighten up. Your eyes dart around your kitchen, you brother Light looking at you strangely.

"(Y/N), are you getting enough sleep?" Light asks, which gets a nod out of you. He looks unconvinced as he continues eating his breakfast.

"Well, you better get ready for school, we're leaving soon." He mentions as he stands up from his seat and grabs his bag from the back of his chair. You nod once again, thanking your mom for the breakfast. Before you can even sit up, your mother is bombarding you with questions, a worried expression written all over her face.

"Oh sweetheart, you look sick." She sighs. "Are you sure you want to go to school today?" She's feeling your face for any sign of sickness, which causes you to groan and push her away slightly.

"I'm fine mom." You grab your bag and stand next to Light. "See you after school."

The worried expression still doesn't leave her face as you and Light walk out the door. "Okay sweety. Light, take care of them, okay?" She shouts. Light nods absentmindedly.

"Of course, mom."

——

"So, why were you up so late?" Light asks randomly. You look at him confused, which only gets a smile from him.

"You're my sibling, it's my job to know what you're doing." His voice is too sweet. "And plus, I noticed the light coming from your room when I was heading to bed last night." He adds on.

"I was just talking to a friend." You answer quietly. Your response was short, not wanting to tell him the truth, since you knew he wouldn't really like you talking to some random stranger on the internet. You were also too distracted by the feeling of someone watching you to really pay attention to your brother.

You do hear him laugh however, which puts a pit in your stomach. You look over at him to see a hint of a cruel look on his face. "You don't have friends (Y/N)." He mocks, grinning at the embarrassment that washes over your face.

"You don't have friends either." You argue, your voice childish and whiny. A cool breeze comes up behind you, causing you to look back, and causing Lights face to become slightly annoyed. Before you can ask him about it though, he's quickly back to normal.

"At least I have a girlfriend." He speaks.

You huff, "A girlfriend who's supper annoying." Light doesn't seem to care that you just called Misa annoying, but he doesn't talk for the rest of the walk to school, something you very much appreciate.

——

"Ping."

There's your phone again. You're sitting outside eating lunch when you get another message from Justice.

"Hello."

You finish crewing your rice before answering. "Hey. What's up?" They usually never text you this early.

They don't respond for a while, you nearly forgetting that they were messaging you as you watched the people around you converse and eat, a blank expression on your face.

"What do you do for fun?" That was a weird question. You two had an unspoken agreement of not asking each other personal questions, so this question really threw you off guard.

You spent a while coming up with an answer, pondering what they could mean by it. Why do they suddenly want to know now?

"I don't really know. I usually just spend my time at home and school." You didn't mean to sound so sad, but it definitely came off that way.

"So, you don't have any friends?" Well, that's straight to the point. You frown and blow a piece of strayhair out of your face.

"Other than you, no." You answer quickly. You couldn't help the intense sadness that washed over you at your answer. You're in your second year of high school and your only friend is a random person on the internet.

You've never been good at making friends, mostly because your bother doesn't approve of anyone who you show a slight interest in. You wonder if you ever met Justice in person, would they actually like you? Would Light like them? You can't think for too long before you hear yet another ping from your phone. You look down at it to see that Justice has responded.

"That's good."

——

You spent your time after school studying at the local cafe.

You didn't exactly care too much about your grades. Light was the high achiever in your household, so you and your younger sister didn't have to worry too much about grades. Light however, didn't like you slacking off. So, he made you a studying schedule in order for you to achieve academic excellence. Usually, he would be here with you, but lately he's been too busy with something he claimed was "none of your business."

You didn't mind though, since the cafe was pretty dead today. The only people here were you, the workers, and someone sitting in the far corner of the room. You couldn't get a good look at him because of the way he was sitting, but he was weird enough to cause you to sit far away from him.

Your studies, unsurprisingly, was uneventful. You spend most of your time focusing on math, since that's what you struggled with the most. Throughout you could hear your phone buzz, since you put it on silent while studying. You assumed it was Light reminding you to come home on time since you usually lost track of time when you were by yourself.

"Buzz, buzz." You give a silent groan, rolling your eyes in the process. You push your phone away, hoping too silent it a little.

"Buzz, buzz." It didn't stop. Frustrated, you snatch your phone from the table, staring intensely at the contact who's been messaging you.

It's Justice.

Your expression changes, frustration melting into confusion. You had 5 messages from them.

"Hello."

"(Y/N)."

"Please respond."

"I would like to talk."

"(Y/N). Respond."

You shake your head, shocked. Your fingers glided over the screen as you hurriedly typed a response.

"Sorry, Justice. I was studying."

"Please notify me beforehand next time."

'Why does it matter?' You thought. They've never been this overbearing before. Like they were reading your mind, you received another message instantly.

"I'm sorry for my behavior. I was worried." You couldn't help but feel warm, nobody other than your mother really worries for you.

"Why though?" You prod.

They took a while to answer and while you were waiting, you heard the strange man order another cake. You swear it's their tenth.

A few seconds after the strange man's cake comes, you get a notification.

"There's been a rise in deaths regarding the Kira case. I wouldn't want you to be one of them."

"Awww, you worry about me?" You jokingly ask. It wasn't even a second before they relied.

"Of course. You're my only friend after all."

——

You didn't exactly hate Misa; you just couldn't keep up with her.

Since you were closer in age with her, she tended to hang out with you often, claiming she wanted to learn more about Light's favorite sibling. You don't know what Light's been telling her, but your definitely not his favorite.

Once a week, you would meet up Misa at the cafe, the same cafe you study at. You confided in Justice that you really didn't want to hang out with your brother's girlfriend, being careful not to break your rule of mentioning anything too personal, like her name. They didn't give any great advice, just telling you to not go, which obviously wasn't an option.

"Soooooo...." Misa's drawled with a sing song tone. "You've been looking at your phone all day. You got a sweetheart."

You quickly look up from your phone, shutting it off the process. You shake your head, becoming shy by her giggles.

"Don't be shy, I won't tell light." She teases, playing with the cake on her plate. She smiles at you sweetly. "Come on, you can tell me."

You look away, embarrassed. "They're just a friend." Misa squealed at your answer, so excited she stretched over the table and grasped your hands.

"They're just a friend right now!" She pointed out, ignoring your discomfort. "How did you meet? Do you go to the same school? When can I meet them? Oh! Maybe we can go on a double date like in those romantic movies."

"Misa calm down, I promise you they're just a friend." Her mood shifted for excitement to disappointment in a flash. Pouting, she slumps back in her seat.

"Fine, but if it becomes anything more you promise to tell me?"

"I promise."

——

"Tell me more about your family, Yagami-kun."

"Why do you ask?" L doesn't move his eyes from the screens in front of him. But he can feel Yagami's gaze on him. It's hard and accusing, and he knows exactly why. He's protective of his children, that much is clear.

He hears Yagami sigh quietly and feels his gaze move back to the screen, focusing on the one displaying his family. L moves thumb to his mouth, toying with his lip.

"I don't know what exactly to say." He starts. "They somehow manage to keep up with my schedule, that means something right." He gives a small laugh.

L doesn't laugh though. He's too busy glaring camera, specifically the one displaying the Yagami household. Everyone was there. Everyone of course, except you.

Soichiro Yagami shakes his head while rubbing his forehead in contempt. "They're out with friends, it's always once a week."

The hand which isn't currently near his mouth grips his knee. He continues to glare at the camera, only shifting to look at the people moving around the house.

"Where." He shoves a piece of chocolate in his mouth.

Yagami thinks for a while before answering. "I believe the cafe near our neighborhood."

That makes sense, you're usually there. But with who? L stays silent for a while, pondering this mystery "friend."

He doesn't like that word when applied to someone that isn't him. It makes him sick. He grimaces, shoving a piece of candy in his mouth in the hope it calms him down.

It doesn't.

L didn't have any strong feeling regarding you at first, just a way to get to your brother. He saw how lonely you were, and used it, hoping to get some information out of you.

But you were smart. Not like your brother, but definitely more that he expected. You never shared with him any strong opinions regarding anything, remaining neutral on every topic of discussion. It became frustrating after a while.

But it also became fun.

He didn't know when it started, but slowly he started talking to you longer and longer. Observing you longer and longer. And he noticed how...protective Light was of you. Light was like him, he cared for people in weird ways. While Light chose to take a stricter approach, L chose to go the opposite route, gaining your trust by exploiting your loneliness and promising that he'll always be there for you. And while at the beginning it was nothing more than a lie, it slowly became the truth.

He craved your attention, he wanted to be the only thing you cared about. He couldn't stand you talking to anyone, Light included. Which is why he was so pissed about you being around someone else.

"Ryuzaki, your phone is ringing" Yagami notified. L slowly retrieved his phone, gripping it between his pointer finger and thumb, a small smile grazed his face when he saw the recipient.

"What is it?" Yagami questioned as L pocketed the phone.

"My friend."

——

A/n: I can't decide if I love or hate this.

#yandere x reader #platonic yandere #soft yandere #yandere death note #death note x reader #yandere light yagami #yandere l lawliet #light yagami #l lawiet #light yagami x reader #l lawliet x reader #death note fanfiction #yandere death note x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader

[centrally-unplanned]

Have seen 3-4 "death of culture at the modern university" posts on my dash, so lets address the forces being missed in those posts. People today are not less cultured, they are not less creative - hell that is actually hilarious, due to radically lowered barriers of entry a good deal more people are creative in some way today. The average 21 year old is as awash in hot takes or avant garde art or crazy political movements as they ever were, give-or-take the zeitgeist fluctuations of any given year.

What has changed is that the university is no longer as necessary a lodestone for that culture. The primary cause is of course the internet of it all; in the same way people just have less friends now because they can be entertained otherwise, if I want freeform poetry readings I can go on Youtube, I can *post* on Youtube. I don't need to be a part of my uni's zine, I can just write for...any zine!! Anywhere!! Colleges used to solve the coordination problem of bringing disparate people together to participate in distinct hobbies all in one place; the internet does that better. College for some is a little obselete.

Meanwhile, universities themselves have changed, and a lot of it is that stifling, bureaucratic stuff you see in those posts. But supply meets demand; those schools changed for a reason, and one of the big ones is that how undegraduates spend their time has pretty radically changed too. The "have fun majoring in ~whatever at uni" idea that peaked in the 1980's is pretty dead; if you are at a top school you are planning out your internships for freshman summer, because you need multiple as part of your four year plan to max your odds of getting into med school or a slot on the marketing consulting team at Deloitte. The competition for entry-level jobs has escalated dramatically since the late 90's; companies both lost faith in the "liberal arts" stamp as a universal smartness indicator, the complexity of jobs legitimately went up and demand more skills at entry level, and enough savvy students were building comprehensive resumes that they didn't need to settle any more, they had their pick. And these all feed on each other through competition; once enough students are doing it, everyone has to do it.

So college is just "about" career prep more and more now for people. Which just isn't fun and not the place you stick your creativity in; it doesn't vibe that way. These transformations are structural, and even sans the bureaucracy things like Greek Life would be fading. How is that boosting your organic chemistry grade again? Who has the time for that shit.

But people are still doing all the creative edgy art weird stuff. Just not within the confines of the college quite as much. And of course many still do; its all margins in the end.

[allywthsr]

ICE SKATING | (l.norris)

summary: you convince Lando to go ice skating with you

wordcount: 1k words

pairing: landonorris x fem!reader

warnings: none!

notes: I literally wrote this all today, while stressing that I‘ve almost nothing written for the rest, and I’m going on a trip right before Christmas, idk how I’m going to keep uploading😭

advent calendar

”Come on, Lando, it’s going to be fun!“

”Fun?“

”Yes!“

You were trying to convince Lando to go ice skating with you, he wasn’t the biggest fan of gliding over the frozen water, but every year you had to at least once go ice skating. Monaco had opened an ice rink, you begged Lando to come, and he gave in after a twenty minutes discussion.

Right now, you two were walking to the city, in the middle of the city waited the ice rink, it was freezing and you were wearing your thickest winter jacket, gloves, and two pairs of pants. Lando was wearing almost the same, a thick winter jacket and gloves, a beanie on each head of yours. Hands were intertwined and put in Lando’s pocket, so they wouldn’t freeze, even with the gloves on.

The closer you got to the middle of the city, the slower Lando got, he really tried everything so he didn’t need to go, not because he doesn’t want you to be happy, but because he‘s scared of falling and hurting himself.

”If it’s too crowded, I‘d rather go another day, I don’t want people to see us and post us somewhere. I don’t want you to be portrayed badly on the internet, people will make fun of you if you skate weirdly or even fall.“

”You’re the sweetest baby, and I promise you, if it’s too much, we‘ll go back. And you can also say you’re too scared of falling and it being all over the internet, that’s fine too“, you squeezed his hand.

When you arrived at the rink and it wasn’t too full, it was a Tuesday and late in the morning, just people that were on vacation in Monaco or had a free day were able to skate around. You and Lando went to the lady behind the counter and rented two pairs of skates, Lando paid, much to your dismay. The blue skates weren’t the most fashionable, but they did the job, you put your bag into a locker, near the entrance, and sat down on a bench to change from your normal shoes to the skates. When Lando got up, he was already wobbling around, not walking comfortably to the ice. He held onto the railing when he put his first foot on the ice, you chuckled slightly, before joining him. With a gentle push of the edge, you glided over the ice, the first few meters were a little wonky as well, but quickly you got the hang of it. Sliding back to Lando, you tried to help him stand up normally. He was hunched over the railing, trying to hold himself and not slip, you held yourself up with one hand on the railing and the other at Lando’s hip, pulling your boyfriend to stand on the ice. When he was balancing himself, with stretched arms and fast breathing, you grabbed his hands and stood with him until he felt comfortable enough to start moving.

With one hand constantly on the railing, and one hand in yours, he slowly started gliding over the ice, well, gliding is a wrong word, more like walking. Putting one foot in front of the other, he did start to get more comfortable, for a second he was even able to let go of the railing before he started to falter. Before you could reach him and hold him up, he fell down on his bum, laughing as soon as the first shock was done.

You couldn’t contain your laughter at the sight of him, trying to get up by himself, he kept sliding away when he put his foot in front of himself. You grabbed the railing with both hands and told him to pull himself up on your clothes, grabbing your legs, he could finally stand up again.

”Should we try to go for a few meters?“

”I just fell on my ass! Do you think I‘m ready?“

Lando was laughing and you couldn’t stop either, you knew this was going to be not an easy ride, but you didn’t expect it to be that hard. But Lando wasn’t going to ruin this for you, and grabbed back to the railing, holding your hand, and started walking again.

”Maybe you should glide instead of walking, put one foot in front of the other and push yourself with the other foot, then your gliding.“

He did what you said, and actually started gliding over the ice, smiling brightly at you, when he was able to not look at his feet.

You slightly pulled him over the ice, his hand always on the railing, but less tense, he actually started to enjoy it. The feeling of gliding over the ice, he could get used to it, maybe taking you here again before you would leave for Christmas.

”Should we try without the railing? I‘ll hold you.“

He nodded and grabbed your hand tighter, slowly releasing the hand on the railing. His mouth opened with shock when he did the first step and didn’t fall, doing the next step with much more confidence. You pulled him more towards the middle of the rink, he did slip on the way there, but before he could fall on his bum again, he stabilized himself and could glide with you, stretching out an arm all the time to keep his balance. Quickly you pressed a kiss on his lips, quietly thanking him for doing this with you.

”Let’s do one round and then maybe we can take a break and drink something.“

”Yes please.“

Lando nodded heavily, and held on tight to your hand, while slowly gliding around the ice. Next to the rink was a small booth where you could get drinks and small snacks, with the ice skates still on, you made your way to the booth and ordered your favorite hot drink, and Lando settled on some tea. You sat on the chairs and smiled at Lando.

”Thank you for doing that with me, I know how scared you were.“

”Anything baby, you know that.“

#lando norris #lando norris imagine #formula 1 #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris x y/n #lando x reader #lando norris one shot #lando imagine #christmas

[navybrat817]

Preliminary

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Andy Barber x Female Reader Summary: You give Andy a call, but may have more questions than answers. Word Count: Over 1.3k Warnings: No major warnings. Reader is broke (is that a warning?), Andy Barber (he's a warning, okay?) A/N: Follow up to Keep the Change and building this world! Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby (thank you!), but any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by yours truly, divider by the amazing @firefly-graphics, and warning banner by the wonderful @sgt-seabass. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are welcome!

You weren’t sure how you made it through the rest of your shift when all you wanted to do was call Andy. It was late by the time you got home and refused to disturb him at that time. You couldn’t sleep though. Not when your mind raced with the possibilities of what the potential job could be.

Maybe he needs a personal assistant. Could I handle someone that handsome being my boss?

Researching Andy on the internet didn’t calm your thoughts. From what you gathered, he had practiced law before he invested in a friend’s real estate company. When that took off, he invested in additional real estate and a range of various businesses and companies. He did well for himself, but you refused to look at his speculated net worth.

It’s not like he’s going to hand any of his cash directly over to me.

Andy was also single. At least, he wasn't married anymore. A quiet divorce before he made his money. You could only imagine how difficult it had to be for him to date. How many people wanted his money and nothing more?

A man as handsome as him, you couldn't picture him sleeping alone. Was it wrong that your gaze lingered on a few photos of him in his suits? Was his beard as soft as it looked?

You decided to call him the next morning. Normally you would have had your first cup of coffee consumed by then, but you didn’t want to be jittery on the call. Your fingers drummed nervously on the counter anyway as you waited for him to answer. Maybe it was too early. Or maybe he was like you and needed caffeine before he conversed with others.

“This is Andy,” the deep voice rang through the phone once he picked up.

“Hi,” your voice cracked. Cringing, you pulled the phone away to clear your throat. “Sorry about that.”

“Hi, honey. Don’t be sorry. I was expecting your call,” his voice softened, a bashful smile forming on your face when he recognized your voice.

A smile that quickly shifted to a yawn.

This call is off to a wonderful start.

“You didn't just wake up, did you?” he asked. "Did you sleep okay?"

“I'm fine. I just haven’t had my caffeine yet,” you tried to joke.

“I know that feeling,” he chuckled. “I hope it wasn't rude of me to ask. I just want to make sure you’re getting enough rest.”

“So you overtip when someone stiffs me, you want to make sure I’m sleeping enough, and you have a possible job for me?” you asked.

You didn’t want to sound suspicious since he was nothing but kind to you. The question is why he’s so nice. You weren’t naive enough to ignore that he was somewhat of a powerful man. Probably liked being in control. Money could get people like him far. You, on the other hand, didn’t have any. Power, money, anything.

You didn’t want to be a charity case.

“You don’t trust my intentions,” he mused.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you thought of how to respond. Saying the wrong thing could cost you whatever he had to offer. On the other hand, transparency might be the best option.

“I want to trust your intentions. It’s just that most people today don’t display kindness without expecting something in return,” you said carefully, keeping the device at your ear as you grabbed a coffee mug out of the cupboard. “I don’t want to lump you in that category and I hope it doesn’t sound like I am. I think part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop because my luck hasn’t been so great. I guess I’m being cautiously optimistic.”

Andy hummed on the other end of the line, but didn’t say anything.

You closed your eyes, an apology on the tip of your tongue as your stomach sank. Why did you have to say what you did? It didn't matter. Beneath the nerves, you were proud of yourself for answering truthfully.

Though at this point, you waited for Andy to tell you to get rid of his card and not call again.

Would it be a blessing if he stopped coming into the diner so you could save face, or a curse that you pissed off a great customer and might never see him again?

"I appreciate your honesty."

You opened your eyes and pulled the phone away for a second to look at it. Surely you misheard him. "You do?"

"Yes, I do. You wouldn't believe how many people tell me what they think I want to hear instead of the truth. Maybe they do it to spare my feelings or avoid confrontation, but it's a hindrance more than anything."

"So you prefer honesty?" you asked. "Even if it's something you don't want to hear?"

"One thing you'll learn about me is that I value honesty," he said.

You wondered how many other things you'd learn.

"An ex-lawyer who likes to hear the truth."

"You did your research on me," he said.

"I may have a little," you admitted, your cheeks hot when he chuckled again.

I can't think a laugh sounds sexy if I work for him.

"Research is a good thing. I would expect anyone to do so before switching jobs."

"Speaking of that," you began, eager to shift the conversation to work and not about looking him up on the internet. "You still haven't told me what this job is all about. I'm not even sure which business it's for."

"Do you have your resume ready?" he asked.

Why isn't he answering my question?

"I do," you answered, glancing at your printer where your recent copy was sitting. "Though I can't exactly tailor it to the specific job if I don't know what it is, Mr. Barber."

"Call me Andy," he said. It was more a command than a suggestion, but somehow made you feel at ease. "I'd prefer to discuss the details in person."

You took a chance by calling, now you could take it a step further and meet him.

"And where would you like to discuss the details, Andy?"

"Are you free for lunch today? We can meet at The Courthouse at 12pm."

The Courthouse was one of the nicest restaurants in the city. The tip Andy left you the night before could maybe cover the price of an entree. Thankfully you still had a couple of decent outfits from when you had an office job.

"I'm free," you said. Luckily you had the day off. "I didn't know they were open for lunch."

"They usually open at 4pm, but they make exceptions."

What's it like to have that kind of sway over anyone?

"I don't want to go to the trouble of doing that."

"I already did," he said confidently. "I told you I was expecting your call."

"What if I had to work today?" you asked.

"I would have had to find a way to convince you to call in. And if I have my way, you'll be quitting there very soon."

"That's if I accept the job," you said, smiling as you leaned your hip against the counter. "But I'll be happy to discuss the details over lunch."

"I can send a car to pick you up," he offered.

"I'll take a cab, but thank you."

A car was too much for a job discussion and you didn't want his driver to see where you lived.

"I'll cover the cost of the cab and lunch," he said, leaving you no room to protest. "I look forward to seeing you."

You tapped a fingertip against your mug when he hung up. His businesses looked legitimate, so you didn't believe he would ask you to do something illegal. He also didn't seem like the type to waste his time and play games.

You had nothing to lose.

Here's to being cautiously optimistic.

Are we excited to meet Andy for lunch? Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Andy Barber Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

#navybrat writes #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader #andy barber x you #andy barber x y/n #sugar daddy!andy barber x reader #andy barber #sugar daddy!andy barber #andy barber imagine #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber au #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 28)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (26) & Alexia Putellas x Character (3)

Masterlist (other parts here)

There were many pictures of Lucy all over the internet, but in reality, she rarely took photos of herself. Usually, they were for an Instagram update or for family, and now, morning selfies for YFN. Lucy was still smiling when she woke after her spontaneous late night phone sex with her little Australian, and it was a first for Lucy. She’d never dated anyone comfortable enough to do that. And beyond all of that, somehow Lucy had managed to orgasm by just hearing her, watching her… god, the way her excited nipples looked, the arch in her back, the stifled whimpering so Jordan wouldn’t hear. Lucy was tempted to find a late flight to Birmingham just to spend that night. She gave a teasing smile as she took a sleepy selfie from her bed, glasses on, cuddling Narla and giving a look she knew would get her girlfriend’s attention.

Lucy: Selfie to start your day. Good morning, little one x

Lucy was still a little disheartened about the airport, however the phone sex had put a little of her disappointment to bed. YFN just wasn’t ready to say it or accept it yet, and although Lucy didn’t understand it, she would try to.

As usual, Lucy picked up Ona and drove them to training. It just made sense, and it gave her some company in the Spanish city where she didn't fully speak the language.

“Do you want me to drive us this week?” Ona asked in broken English. It was still better than most of the players on the team. “Because of your knee?” She reached over and gave Lucy’s knee a little squeeze.

Lucy shied away from her touch for many reasons. One being that she didn't like being touched. Another being that she didn’t want Ona to get the wrong impression. Lucy had never liked being touched or hugged, unless it was from close friends or at specific moments. Jordan, for example. Jordan was always so affectionate with her thigh squeezes and kisses on the forehead when you did something right. She could handle that in moderation, yet she reserved her closest needs and affection for herself. That is, until she’d met YFN. For some odd reason, Lucy wanted affection from her constantly. It was a need that she was still yet to understand.

“Maybe alternating will be good.” Lucy agreed.

“Alternating?”

“Oh.. me today, you tomorrow, me, you, me…”

“Ahhh.” Ona nodded in understanding and flashed Lucy a smile. “Si, estoy de acuerdo.” Yes, I agree.

They arrived at training and were immediately surrounded by fans with cameras at the entrance. They wanted signatures and selfies, but Lucy never tended to stop on the way in, and always on the way out instead. She’d learnt early in her career to set healthy boundaries with fans. As she drove through the gate she saw someone familiar in the crowd briefly and had to double take, but lost her to the crowd. There were so many regular fans and Lucy would always try to remember the ones who kept coming back, however there were just too many.

“Lucia Roberta, why are you looking anxious?” Alexia asked in Spanish. Lucy knew enough to converse generally, and she was especially used to Alexia not wanting to speak English often.

Lucy worried at her phone, wondering why the day was finishing and she still hadn’t gotten a reply from YFN. She always replied. Was she okay? Her mind went to Kristie and the brick and the blood…

When she didn’t get a response, Alexia sat down next to Lucy. The two weren’t as close as they were with others, but they respected each other. Alexia respected Lucy for her brilliance as a player, and her discipline. Lucy respected Alexia for her skill on the field, and her leadership. Alexia didn’t tend to take bullshit, but she cared deeply. She was always straight forward but looked after her players well. They were similar in a lot of ways, really.

“Lucia?” Alexia asked again in Spanish, looking to her phone. “You’re not usually on your phone.”

“I’m worried about my girlfriend.” She said simply.

Alexia’s eyebrows rose at that. She spoke in broken English now. “Ah, I saw the photos on Instagram. She’s pretty.”

Lucy gave a little chuckle at Alexia’s nicety. “She’s beautiful. Australian.”

“You met her this trip?”

Lucy nodded. “Through Jordan. She’s… really special to me.”

Lucy put her phone down and rested her chin on her knees.

“Why are you worried?”

Lucy sighed and turned her head to look at her hazel eyed Captain who genuinely seemed to care. She didn’t usually open up to anyone, let alone la Reina. But Alexia was showing interest and so Lucy decided to open a little and tell her about Kristie, the messages, the brick.

Alexia looked disgusted. “You can’t…uh…”

“Sue? With lawyers?”

Alexia nodded.

“No.” Lucy said. “I tried that. No witnesses or camera footage. I have restraining orders being drawn up though.”

Funnily enough, Alexia understood that. She’d had a few obsessive fans in her time also, being la Reina.

“She’s not replying… and you’re worried for her?”

Lucy nodded. Alexia put a hand on her back and rubbed it gently. They both were also similar in the fact that they kept physical affection as a rarity for certain people or certain times of need.

“She makes you happy?”

“Yeah.” She admitted huskily. She felt herself getting a little emotional just thinking about her and cleared her throat. Her phone dinged.

YFN: Sorry, busy day.

Lucy knew that was a lie. She always made time for her.

Lucy: I was worried something happened to you. Are you okay?

YFN: I’m fine, Luce. Thanks though.

Lucy found herself a little confused at her messages. She didn’t sound the same.

Lucy: Why do you feel distant suddenly..?

She waited for what felt like an hour, now so invested in her phone that she almost forgot Alexia was right there.

YFN: I think I just need a little bit of space, Luce. I need to get my head together.

Lucy’s heart started pounding. What had happened between last night and now? Was work stressful? Did she realise the distance was going to be an issue? Was the idea of Lucy’s maniac fans finally scaring her away?

Lucy: Is it work? Has it been overwhelming? I can help..

Another pause. Three dots appeared and disappeared.

YFN: No. Work has been great. Exciting. I just need a little space.

Not work. Something worse then. Lucy felt her heart breaking and she was starting to get emotional. She immediately tried to call her. YFN rejected the call.

Alexia must have understood something was happening because she stood, rubbing her back again before Captain Alexia reappeared.

“Remember to go and see the fans when you’re free, Lucia.” She said before she left. It was public training day, and the fans were all lined up in the stands, hugging the barriers begging for autographs and photos. Lucy almost didn’t hear her. Almost.

YFN: Lucy please.

Lucy’s heart broke. Why wasn’t she talking to her? She knew a lot about YFN’s past, but not everything. She understood it was all new to her, and she worried that it was all becoming a little too overwhelming for her.

Lucy: Don’t do this please. We need to go through things together. I know you’re not used to that, but I can help.

Lucy waited another five minutes, chin on her knees and thinking when suddenly she started receiving screenshot after screenshot of messages YFN had been sent. All pictures and videos of Lucy and Ona at the World Cup, during games, during training, outside of football. She gasped. She knew how it looked. Before YFN, Ona had been there for her at the World Cup. She was so grateful to Lucy for getting her from United to Barca, and letting her stay with her for a little while. It wasn’t news to anyone who knew Ona that she was extra affectionate. She loved touches and hugs and kisses, it was just her. And to make matters worse, Lucy had known Ona had liked her for some time. She flirted back sometimes, but that had all been before she’d met YFN. Of course, she had never let it go beyond that as there was eight years and a significant amount of maturity difference, but the attention had been nice after Keira, she was ashamed to admit. Fuck.

YFN: I need space. Please.

YFN: I’ll get my emotions together and then we can talk.

She felt so helpless. Her little Australian having these sent to her all day long. Now everything made sense. If Lucy had been in the same situation, she’d also be unsure and needing time to think.

She fought with herself for a little while trying to decide if she should reply, thinking it may make her look guilty if she didn’t. But she wasn't guilty. And so she didn’t reply just then, not wanting to push YFN away, and respecting her space. She would message her later.

Lucy wiped a tear away as Ona approached. She internally groaned. Perfect.

“Are you okay??” She asked, visibly worried and reaching down to stroke her arm.

Lucy nodded and rolled away from her, standing.

“I’m fine. Just going to the fans.”

Ona followed her to the boundaries where the fans were. She threw her phone on the ground near the fans and worked up the boundary line, taking selfies and signing autographs as per usual, just trying to stay out of reach of Ona. She didn’t want any more photos of them together being taken and misinterpreted before she could talk to YFN. As she was thinking about that, she paused, wondering if one of the fans was the one sending the photos. She gritted her teeth and finishing her signings before she took a wide berth around the Spaniard as she went to pick up her phone from where she threw it, but it was gone. She looked around for a few minutes before she gave up, assuming the security guard had taken it.

Great, just what I need, she thought. Lucy wasn’t worried about the money though, just that she needed to be able to call and text YFN when she was ready. She knew she could do that from her iPad and MacBook at home, and so she caught Ona’s attention and gestured towards the car park.

Ona looked a little unsure as Lucy dropped her off, having picked up on Lucy’s now distant and distracted mood. The car ride was mostly silent beyond some niceties, and the farewell was the same.

“I pick you up tomorrow?” Ona said from outside of the car before she closed the door.

Lucy shook her head. “I have somewhere to be in the morning, so I’ll meet you there.”

Ona looked a little upset but she didn’t push it and nodded, closing the door. Lucy was gone almost immediately after that, getting to her apartment without delay. She found her MacBook first, opening it. No messages from YFN. How long should she wait? Would it be too much for her to message tonight, just hours after she said she needed space? Should she message Jordan? They must have spoken about it.

Lucy thought on it a little longer before she threw her MacBook away and charged her iPad for the next day. She looked down at Narla who was wanting attention which pulled a smile out of her.

“Are you texting on an iPad?” Keira teased.

“Lost my phone.” She replied, fully aware of how ridiculous she looked as she texted Jordan and YFN yet again on her iPad.

“Security?”

“Doesn't have it.”

“Well at least you don’t have it up to your ear for a phone call.” She laughed.

“Done that a few times too. You must have missed it.”

Keira squatted down next to her. They were still close, but Lucy had shut her out of that very close part of her.

“You’ve not been yourself, Luce. She’s still not replying?” Lucy knew she genuinely cared. Keira would always care about her, and she her.

“No. And Jordan isn’t saying much.” She sighed, throwing her iPad to the ground and looking at Keira. “Have I been that bad?”

“Well you are usually happy and smiley ninety-nine percent of the time, so when you’re distracted and grumpy, people can tell.”

Great. Another stress to add. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. It’s okay, everybody has their off days. You tend to have less than most so I think the girls are mainly just worried about you.”

“I’ll be okay.” There’s that closeness boundary.

Keira looked like she didn’t believe her. “I’m always right here if you need me. And if it makes you feel any better, Alexia is holding the spotlight rather than you. She’s been a lot grumpier than you the past week or so.”

Lucy raised her head. She hadn’t noticed. She’d been so focussed on her own thing. “Oh? What happened?”

“I’m not too sure, most of them have been talking in Spanish but I think it’s about a girl?”

“Not just any girl!” Patri said as she was walking past. She knelt down with a grin. “Alexia has a crush. Big one. She’s been dragging us to a club just to see her.”

“So why is she so grumpy?”

“She disappeared for five months and then reappeared last weekend like everything was okay. Apparently she flirted with Alexia. Now she’s pissed at herself.”

Lucy looked over at Alexia who was smashing the shit out of a punching bag. No one really ever used that punching bag except Lucy, especially not Alexia. And she seemed so… annoyed. How had she been so caught up in her own world that she hadn’t noticed? Alexia had even tried to see if she was okay yesterday, when she herself wasn’t.

“Oh… wow.”

“No one has really been keen to try and talk to her. Mapi got the closest.” Keira said. “We thought she must have said something to you yesterday?”

Lucy shook her head. “No, she was just making sure I was okay.” Typical Alexia, so caring of other people.

“Sunday sure is going to be a fun game with you two so mad.” Patri said cheekily.

Lucy ignored that statement. “I’m going to try and talk to her.”

Lucy grabbed the iPad and stood, walking over to her Captain as the two gave her a nervous good luck. When she got there, she dropped her iPad to the floor and took hold of the punching bag to hold it steady. Alexia caught her eye, her eyebrows were furrowed in obvious annoyance but not at Lucy. She was like that before she arrived. Lucy didn’t say anything, she just held the bag steady as Alexia punched the hell out of it. When she was tired they switched. They didn’t need words. They needed some release.

Their knuckles were sore before their cardio gave out, and so they wordlessly changed to gloves and mitts. Alternating. Lucy had taken up boxing regularly so she guided Alexia through the motions. After a while it was dark, the other girls had gone home, and the two footballers eventually gave in and sat down in a pile of sweat and steam.

“Are you okay?” Alexia eventually asked in Spanish.

Lucy shrugged. She wasn’t and replied in Spanish. “Are you?”

“No.”

“Want to tell me why?”

Alexia sighed. “Did Patri not tell you?”

“Yes, but I was being polite.”

Alexia rolled her eyes and switched to English. “She thinks she can just show up after five months…”

“Have you spoken to her before?”

“A little here and there.”

“So she doesn’t realise that you like her like that? And you’re mad at her?”

Alexia groaned and Lucy had never seen her so frustrated.

“Oh… you’re not mad at her. You’re mad at yourself.”

Alexia put her head in her hands. “She frustrates me.”

“So go and tell her how you feel?”

“Not simple like that. She’s… popular.”

Lucy actually laughed. “Do you forget who you are, la Reina?”

“No I mean… she sleeps with many people.” Alexia’s broken English was always funny for Lucy, though she wasn’t about to tease her on it right now.

“Ah. But maybe you’re the one to end that.” Lucy said cheekily. “Go and see her.”

“I have been back few times this week.. she wasn’t there.”

“Ah.. you feel like she’s making you chase her?”

“Un poco.”

“So… you’re just going to keep being annoyed and scaring your team?”

Alexia looked up a little surprised at that honesty. And then a little upset. She sighed. “I will play Sunday and go back to the bar on the next weekend to talk to her.”

“I think that’s a great decision, capitana. You can use the game Sunday to get a little grumpiness out. I know I will.”

“Si… si. How is that going?”

“Oh so you assume someone told me about your situation, but you don’t think I know someone definitely told you about mine?”

Alexia gave a cheeky smile before it fell. “I’m sorry. People can be so mean. I noticed you stayed away from Ona today. I think it upset her a little..”

“She’ll be fine.”

Alexia nodded. She could be hard like Lucy. “Si. Has she messaged you?”

Lucy reached over and grabbed her iPad. Alexia raised an eyebrow at it but didn’t say anything.

Still no reply from YFN. She groaned out loud and Alexia nodded, knowing she hadn’t. Then a notification caught her attention. They were Instagram posts of Leah and YFN at an event. Her jaw dropped at the sight of her. Her body in that dress. Her beautiful sun-kissed hair done up like that. That little dimply smile. She was happy to see the stitches had been removed, zooming in to see the scar she was left with. Oh, little one. She zoomed back out and noticed Leah then, dressed in a suit and looking great, as usual. Though Lucy felt a twinge of jealously when she saw her hand lightly touching YFN’s back as they took their pictures on the carpet together. Her bare back, as it was backless. She looked at the way her body moved and the beauty of her spine, feeling again jealous but this time because the world could see those little back dimples. Lucy felt like she was in the wrong place. Like she should be standing there next to her, holding her close and making sure she was safe and comfortable and warm.

A few more photos came up then of Leah and YFN sipping champagne and laughing together, lightly touching in some photos. The last one was of YFN standing, gripping Leah’s jacket tight around her as Leah had a hand on her back, presumably making sure she was warm. Lucy’s jaw almost broke from how tight it was locked. She thought she’d managed to control it until she read the caption.

‘Leah Williamson and partner.’

Two things happened almost simultaneously then. First, a snapping sound. Then the pain of glass shards in her left hand.

Lucy and Alexia both stared silently at the iPad snapped in half between Lucy’s hands.

#woso #womens football #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso soccer #jordan nobbs #lucy bronze #lucy bronze x reader #engwnt #lionesses #lucy bronze imagine #ona batlle #keira walsh #barcelona femeni #leah williamson #alexia putellas #fc barcelona #fc barca #barca femeni #barca #culers

[doingitforbokuto]

Putting on a show

-> TENDOU SATORI X CAMGIRL!READER

Summary: Tendou has a habit of always watching your streams. And he likes you a bit too much, even though he knows there can never be any real connection between the two of you. Or can there?

Words: 2,769

Warnings: masturbation, filming / live streaming, sex work

Tendou was pissed. His tram was supposed to be here already. Treading from one foot onto the other, he prayed that it would be here soon and bring him home on time. Usually getting home a few minutes later than usual didn't bother him but today he had plans and he needed to be on time. He hated it when he missed your shows. Some of them you uploaded later in a regular video so people who missed the live stream could watch it as well but that was only for the ones where you didn't interact with your viewers. The ones where you got in front of a camera and put on a show you had planned out beforehand. And while Tendou liked those, he loved the ones where you talked. Where your eyes scanned the screen in front of you and answered the comments, complied with requests, made him feel like he was actually in the room with you. And if he missed it, he wouldn't be able to watch it later on. But more importantly: He would not be able to talk to you.

Slowly, he saw the train roll into the station. If it would drive as planned now, he might still be able to make it home on time.

Tendou knew that this wasn't the healthiest situation that he found himself in but to be honest, he didn't really care. Yes, he started watching live streams of a camgirl. Yes, he developed a crush on said camgirl. Yes, he never missed a show. Yes, he imagined what it would be like to hold you, to kiss you, to fuck you.. to take you out on dates and talk to you for hours. Yes, yes, yes. It would never happen. It was delusional. But whatever. He didn't care. He liked you and your shows always brought a smile on his face. That was enough of a reason for him to keep watching your shows.

And so, as soon as he arrived at his station, he hurried to his flat, practically bolted through the door and into his bedroom. Only two more minutes and the show was supposed to start. He could already feel blood rushing to his crotch in anticipation. It was embarrassing, he knew it but he couldn't help himself. Whenever he thought about your pretty face, your mouth, your eyes, your boobs, your waist, your thighs, the noises you made - it was heavenly. You had to be the series creature he had ever laid eyes upon and he wasn't ashamed to feel the physical proof of that fact forming in between his legs. His bulge was already starting to strain his pants as he powered up his laptop.

Hurry up! he thought as the old thing started to hum and heat up. It sounded like a dying turbine on a jet. Thankfully the walls in his apartment building were quite thick, so no one could hear his laptop. Or his moans or your live stream.

His screen told him to enter his password the second his watch showed him that your stream was supposed to start. As quickly as he could he hammered the letters and numbers into his keyboard and started chewing on his lip in anticipation. As soon as his desktop lit up and allowed him to open his browser, he grabbed his nearly empty bottle of lube he kept in his drawer. He should really get a new one, but he always forgot to when he went shopping.

With one hand he typed in the internet address he needed get to your stream, with the other one he flipped the cap of the bottle up. Finally, finally, he could click on your stream - only to see that it hadn't started yet. Were you late? It was almost too good to be true. Tendou absolutely hated missing the beginning of your streams, it always felt like he was coming late to a meeting with friends and they were all already deep into a conversation he didn‘t fully understand. That feeling was ridiculous of course, but he still had it.

So, what should he do now? He felt weird just sitting there, the lube bottle in one hand, the other one resting on his thigh, ready to pull his pants down, a tent already forming at the mere thought of you. Should he get undressed already? No, sitting there with his cock out and hard while staring at a blank screen would be even weirder. He would just have to wait.

Just when he was about to put his bottle away again the screen flickered to life and the stream started. You came into view. Gorgeous, as always. You were wearing a flimsy silk nightgown that leaves little to imagination. Tendou was sure he could already see the outline of your bra through the thin material. Even though he thought about you a lot his memories just never compared to seeing you on his screen with all of your curves and edges pin-sharp on his little screen. He could only imagine what you would look like in real life (he did that a lot, too).

Your voice flew through his room, greeting him and everyone else to your show, apologizing for the delay. Every beginning of your shows was pretty much the same but Tendou didn't care. In fact, he loved it. You would ask if everyone was excited or how their day had been and if they were in need of a distraction after a long day. You'd tell them what you were going to do with yourself tonight, asking if they liked your idea. It was so mundane and still, the way that you spoke, the way that you carried yourself, everything about it was nerve-rackingly sexy.

Of course, Tendou knew that the reason you were doing that was to wait until everyone had joined the stream before you started but still, it made him feel special. Like you were talking only to him. Asking him how he was feeling. How his day had been. How you could please him. How you could make him feel good. Like the doting girlfriend he wished you were, the one he wished he had.

Work was hard.. glad I could come home to you, he typed in the chat.

"Aw, Tori," you purred into his ear, "I'm sorry your day wasn't good. Maybe I can make it a bit better?" You winked at him.

Fuck. This. This right there was why he loved you so much. Out of all the hundred, thousands of comments and spectators you picked out him and made him feel like you were actually listening to him. Like you cared about him. He knew that logically, that could not be true. And at the beginning, it was just a fantasy he had. But the more streams he watched, the more it seemed like it was actually true. Many times he typed something in the chat, you'd respond to it. A lot more frequent than you did with most other viewers it seemed. He made you laugh, he made you hornier. Sometimes it even seemed like you were just waiting for his comment.

But that wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Why would it be? This was your job after all, and he was a customer. A customer who paid for you to take your tits out. As if you would ever have any sort of affection towards a guy like that. Satori knew how depraved and desperate he could be, fantasizing about you like that. But he wasn't delusional. He merely allowed himself to fantasize about you and him when he watched your streams. After all, that was what the streams were for, right? You were role-playing for your viewers, so there was nothing wrong with him indulging in it for a little while. While you were streaming. Maybe while he was in the shower. And when he got horny before bed. And also when he woke up with a boner.

Today, your show was a pretty simple one. Sometimes you would do a whole story like a secretary getting fucked by her boss because she messed up or a girlfriend giving her boyfriend a blowjob after a big fight (The boss or boyfriend or whatever man was involved was always substituted by a sextoy of some kind). Today it was just you pretending to welcome your boyfriend home after some time apart. Underneath the nightgown you seemed to be wearing a thing, unpadded bra - if your hard nipples that were poking through the material of the gown wer any indicator. You knew what your viewers wanted and you never failed to deliver, especially as you slowly massaged your tits with your hands and let your thighs fall open a little bit more while you knelt on the bed.

"I've missed you so much..“, you all but whispered to the camera.

Maybe in another universe you were a Hollywood actress. The way that you always made Satori feel like you actually meant every single word you said during your roleplays was insane.

He had crawled up onto his bed and settled at the headboard. His pants and underwear was discarded on the floor and after a while, his shirt followed. You made him feel way too hot for any clothing to still be touching his skin.

You had positioned yourself perfectly on your bed in front of the camera and had slowly let your hands run up and down your body.

"Did you miss me too..?" It was the husky whisper that Tendou loved so much. All the while you let your hands run back up from your lap, all the way to your breasts. God, how he wished that it was him who touched you like that.

Missed you so much. Always looking forward to seeing you.

For just a little while, he had decided not to touch his cock. He could already tell that today would be intense and he did not want to cum before not even half the show was over. Of course, his member was hard and distracting in between his thighs, but he ignored it for now. Instead, he mirrored your movements and started toying with one of his own nipples. His other hand was still gripping the lube bottle. It was almost like and anchor to him, reminding him of what was yet to come. Intently, he watched you and he could have sworn that small smile slipped over your face at just the moment his comment showed up. But then you went on to reply to someone else.

Bit by bit, you fondled your breasts until your nipples were even harder and more evident through the almost see through nightgown. People were begging for you to take it off in the chat - Satori included. You loved torturing them for a little bit, but of course you gave in eventually.

"Gonna take it off for you." You winked at the camera and smiled your million dollar smile.

For him. You were doing this for him. At least here, in his bedroom, you were. Satori knew that every other person watching your stream was probably thinking the exact same thing. or at least you wanted them to - but he didn‘t care. It felt too good to imagine. The straps of your dress slipped form your arms and the fabric pooled at your hips, exposing the delicious length of your torso. You really were wearing a lace bra that already showed off your nipples.

“Want you to touch me.. I‘ve been so alone without you..“ Your fingers went back to your chest as you grabbed both your breasts and arched your back into your own touch. Your eyes were closed and your mouth open to let low moans out. Soon enough, your bra fell away as well and you were pulling and pinching your puffy nipples. Tendou had made good use of his lube bottle and put a generous amount onto his cock before he threw the bottle onto the other end of his bed and slowly started fisting his cock. Fuck. He wasn‘t going to last long.

take the rest off, baby. wanna see your pretty pussy

He was a magician. He had to be. Because just seconds after he had typed his request into the chat you looked at the camera, cheeks flushed and eyes big and innocent, asking “you want me to take this off, too?“, a hand already on the still messy nightgown around your hips. He was either a magician or you really did look for his comments.

Quickly, you rid yourself of any remaining clothing and knelt back down. The mattress dipped down underneath you as you pressed your knees harder into the mattress to raise your hips and show off your drenched pussy to the camera. Satori would never, ever stop thanking the heavens above for letting him find you. This was the prettiest sight he had ever seen and he never wanted to forget it. You, on your knees, one hand on your nipple, the other resting on your abdomen while you raised your hips just so he could see your wet pussy better. God, you were perfect. You truly were.

“You like it?“ Your voice was so soft, so genuine. Like you truly were kneeling in front of your boyfriend and you weren‘t sure if he liked what you were showing him. Although, if your boyfriend didn‘t make sure to shower you in praises every time he saw you and made sure you knew how gorgeous and sweet you were, he was an absolute moron. Satori wouldn‘t make that mistake. He didn‘t.

so so prettyy

fuck

you always look so good baby

cant get enough of you

He had to muster up all his willpower to not start fucking his fist right then and there, but he wanted to touch himself while you touched yourself. He wanted to do it with you. Together. It was torture waiting for your hand to finally move.

touch yourself princess

wanna see you cum

It drove him mad how you inched our fingers closer and closer to your cunt. You had stopped responding to the comments, which was unusual for you. Normally, you would be whispering sensual nothings or tease the commentators about how desperate they were or say something else. But today, it was almost all moans and whispers as you pumped your fingers in and out of yourself. It was a desperate rhythm that you set and Satori followed you. He was fisting his cock tightly now, grinding his teeth as he tried to hold off his orgasm. The noises you made were sinful and only drove him to fuck his fist harder and harder. He was wondering if you were close.

You hips rose again as you stopped fucking yourself and started rubbing circles on your sensitive little clit.

“Wanna.. wanna be good for you..“ Tendou had never heard you sound so desperate. Was there really someone out there, someone watching you right now that you wanted to please this much? Was your partner watching this?

youre so good

fucking perfect

It was hard to type the words with only one hand (while fucking himself into the other), but he needed to tell you. Even when he was probably the last person you were thinking about. But then why did your eyes search for a comment and seemingly stop when his popped up? Why was there a glimmer in your eyes? Tendou had to know. He had to know if this was all just in his head or if there truly was something between you two, something that traveled all the way from his fingertips to his keyboard, through internet cables all around the world into your room. He sped up his thrusts and he could see you do the same right after his words flew across the screen, your face even more flushed than before. You were close. He knew that, he had seen you orgasm so many times. He was gonna cum soon, too. And he let you know.

im close

cum with me

now

“Hhh - I - ah!“ Your orgasm hit you like you were surprised by it. You doubled over and fell onto the bed, all of your muscles shivering under the sheer pressure your pleasure put you under. You kept moving your fingers and the sound of your slick mixed with your whimpers as you came all over yourself, just at the right moment, just the second Satori emptied himself into his fist. And that‘s when he heard it. Faintly, it echoed through his room, but there was no denying that it came from you. A quick, quiet whimper. “Tori!“

He wheezed, gripping his cock impossibly tighter as another pulse of cum dirtied his hand. His every movement stilled, eyes wide open and fixated on the screen where you now laid panting after your own orgasm.

You had just said his username. As you came. During your life stream. Where you put on a show. For him. You came - for him. Was he not alone in his longing for the person on the other side of the screen after all?

#tendou #tendou x reader #lemon #tendou x you #tendou satori #tendou satori x reader #tendou satori x you #tendou smut #haikyuu #tendou x you smut #tendou x reader smut #tendou imagine #tendou satori imagine

[gabby-msr]

As a more recent fan of the x files (first watch in 2020), can I just thank every single person who has ever contributed to this online fandom, especially when it comes to fic archives?

It took me a while to find today's fandom in 2020 so at first I kind of just wandered around the internet and found so much.

I remember distinctly reading about Gossamer on a reddit thread so I looked it up and to this day I don't think I can explain in words the feeling of complete euphoria that overcame me as I explored the site and discovered endless pages of fanfiction. I loved reading fics that were submitted there, as many came with comment thanking betas, about their lives, and also their thoughts about the show as it aired. I felt like I'd found my people (a little too late). People cared (and still care) so much about the fics, enough to have had fandom awards, and really put in the work to keep these stories around.

There is something really special about reading a fic from 1997 from a writer who had no idea how the show would turn out, in 2023.

While Gossamer isn't exactly AO3, it has story categories, divided into themes (romance, adventure), and then again, sorted by the 1st letter of the title. And then there was the possibility to sort by spoilers. And sort by author and date, and a search function. Fic ratings and even ship tags.

It's so impressive. I'm in awe.

And I know lots of fics were lost because some websites purged content in many fandoms, and it has probably happened to us too, but we still have so many stories on Gossamer and other smaller archives.

Thanks to you, the stories have survived and new people get to read them. Some are fandom classics now. And some of us out there do read them, years later.

#x files 30th #the x files #mulder and scully #txf #the xfiles

[sunflowerskies00]

bet my heart, part 2

waves are gonna crash

series masterlist

My weekend was packed, not only was I performing during NHL All-Star Weekend and a celebrity captain, but I also had a sold out concert at the end of the weekend in Toronto this weekend, which Quinn, Jack, Luke, and some of their friends would be attending. I loved when friends came to my concerts, it just added to the energy in the air. I gave friends tickets basically whenever they asked, I wanted them there as much as they wanted to be there.

“So,” Jack starts causing me to look over at him. We’re waiting to start the All-Star draft. “You and Quinn,” he starts. 

“What about me and Quinn?” 

“When are you guys going to admit that you’re more than friends and so in love with each other it’s stupid?” He asks. My eyes widen for a split second before I just shake my head at him. 

“He’s my best friend, Jack,” is the only thing I say. 

“And you’re his, doesn’t mean you aren’t in love with each other.”

“I can’t listen to you be logical right now, it’s weird, I don’t like that you’re using your brain.” 

“You can’t live in denial forever,” he says as Quinn walks over to us. 

~*~

The internet was going crazy for the Quinn and Sage content that was all over TikTok. They had gotten enough content for a year during the all-star draft alone. Our friendship was the center of a lot of teenage girls' lives. They also thought we were more than friends, and read into everything the two of us did together. Which I couldn’t blame them for, I read into a lot that happened between the two of us too. Jack and I’s conversation from the draft had been on my mind since it happened. Jack was right, I couldn’t keep living in denial. I knew how I felt about Quinn, I had been having more than friends feelings for him since we were 18, probably before that if we’re being honest. Jack was hell-bent on the fact that Quinn felt the same way about me, but I wasn’t sure, and I wasn't ready to put our friendship in jeopardy if he didn't feel the same way. I was pacing the floor of my hotel room. I needed to get ready for the all-star game, it was today. I had done a mini-show last night, and my concert was tomorrow. Instead of doing anything beneficial to getting ready or making an appearance, I was doing laps around the hotel room, questioning every single moment of my friendship with Quinn. Dissecting every little moment that could have been interpreted as more than friendship.

A knock on my door pulls me from my pacing. I walk over and swing open the door to find Quinn standing there. 

“Quinn,” his name comes out as a breath. 

“Hey S, thought I’d swing by before heading over, are you okay? You’re normally way ahead of schedule, and you're not even dressed,” he points out. 

“Yeah, just a lot going on, give me like ten to get my outfit on,” I move to the side so he can come in. I grab the outfit that I was planning on wearing and walk into my bathroom. I pull on the black flare pants and my all-star jersey before walking out of the bathroom. I settle on some mid-rise Jordan’s before turning towards Quinn. “Let’s go,” I say. 

“Hey,” his voice stops me. I turn to face him. “You okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah, just exhausted, but I’m all good,” I give him the best smile I can. 

“You’re lying,” he frowns. 

“Quinn, I’m good, I just have a lot going, and we can talk about it later, but right now, we need to go, or you’re going to be late.” He looks like he wants to protest or say more, but he doesn’t and reluctantly follows me out of the room. 

When we get to the arena I start to walk away from Quinn, going to where I needed to be, but he grabs my hand before I can walk away. 

“S,” I turn my eyes to look at him. “If you need anything, just say the word and I’m there,” he says. 

“I know, thanks Quinny.” I give him a super quick hug before walking away, needing a minute, or several, to get myself together before having to see people. What was wrong with me? I had kept my feelings at bay for years. I had told myself time and time again that I didn't need anything more than friendship from Quinn, and that I was happy with that. Suddenly one conversation with Jack, a conversation that we'd had before, was making me spin out of control and questioning everything. I needed to get it together before more people started to piece together that something was wrong with me. Quinn had seen right through my lies this morning, insisting that I was okay and just falling behind. I could see the skepticism written across his face. He just didn't push me on anything, because that's how Quinn was. If I didn't want to talk about something, he left it alone until I'd willingly talk to him about it. He never pushed for details or information, he would just drop it and move on. It was sweet.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a hand landing on my shoulder. I jump and glance to the side to see Jack. He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Lost in your thoughts? That's not like you at all," the last bit is said sarcastically.

"I'm good," I answer. Quinn may know me the best, but that doesn't mean the other Hughes' brother doesn't see through my lies.

"Real answer, please. I can see you having an internal crisis. You're not hiding it very well."

"It's nothing," I mutter.

"So this has nothing to do with the fact that you're in love with Quinn and you're worried I'm lying when he says he feels the same?" He asks.

"I-," I'm at a loss for words I don't have anything to say in response because Jack had hit the nail on the head. That's exactly why I was freaking out.

"Sage, please, Quinn may be your best friend, but that doesn't mean I don't know you," he says.

"Jack," I sigh.

"Sage," he parrots my name back to me. "I'm not lying to you about this. I wouldn't make some shit up just for you to say something and your friendship with Quinn to crash and burn. I know the stakes of you saying something," he says. I nod, not having anything to say, because I know he's telling the truth. He wouldn't lie to me. "I won't but you about it anymore, because I know you have a lot going on, but just know that this is something I wouldn't fuck with you on," he says before leaving me alone with my racing thoughts.

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes fic #vancover canucks #jack hughes #luke hughes #nhl imagine #nhl hockey #trevor zegras #cole caufield #quinn hughes x oc

[octuscle]

I am the only smart and social guy in my class and I’m also he only gay one, normally I prefer to hang with the girls and do all my projects with them…but this time our teacher forced all us guys together, in time for the group project I overheard the boys talking about making me a real Man/boy with there phones. Help!

You have your first project meeting. You are sitting in a circle with the boys. Everyone is playing with their cell phones, picking their noses or scratching their balls. You take a deep breath. And you think you have an idea for an environmental project. Collecting trash on the bank of the creek behind the school. And classifying the garbage according to the possibility of recycling.

Dude, that's a lame idea, grunts one of the guys. We were thinking something like "how far can hard training get you in a week". The other guys applaud. And one presses the "Activate" button on the Chronivac app.

Hehehe, you're not into sports at all. But that sounds like a cool project. Shit, why didn't you come up with that idea. You do a little research on the Internet. Calculate the budget, write to a few sponsors. Look for sportswear, nutritional supplements, also look for sources of potentially illegal support. The other guys play with their cell phones. One of them says you should chill out. It's enough if you start tomorrow.

Project diary, day 1:

Erkan sent me a message this morning that he and the other guys will be at the gym at 08:00. I should come already dressed. I don't even remember that I already got a bag with gym clothes yesterday. But in any case, there is one next to my desk. I put on a tank top, some shorts, socks and shoes. While brushing my teeth in the bathroom, I think to myself how ridiculous the way-too-big clothes look on me. On the bus, I'm a little uncomfortable with my appearance. And between the boys in the gym even more so. But it's a project, we have to go through with it.

We spend six hours in the gym. Has been amazingly fun. Somehow I was the only one sweating. The boys just played with their cell phones again. Hopefully there are good pictures for the project documentation. After the training I wanted to take a shower, but the guys took me directly to their regular shisha bar. I have rarely felt so uncomfortable. Because everyone else is bigger, more muscular and more masculine than me. And because I'm the only guest in sweaty sports gear. Besides, I'm starting to feel the soreness. I just fall into bed in the evening. Unable to move.

Project diary, day 2:

At 06:00 I get an address from Bogdan. Barbershop from his cousin. Meeting at 07:00 so that I no longer have to train with the ridiculous blond curls. I'm supposed to put on yesterday's clothes. I didn't have the clothes hung up yesterday. Actually I wanted to put on fresh clothes today So, of course, nothing has dried. Brushing teeth must go quickly, I'm late. Fuck, I actually finally get beard growth? Must take a closer look at me later in the gym.

So far it does not get at all. Bogdan's cousin not only gives me a new haircut, he also shaves me. In my opinion, completely unnecessary. But the result is cool. For the first time I can imagine in the gym on the weight bench in front of the mirror that the project will be a success. Otherwise, the workout goes like yesterday. After the six-hour program, I was looking forward to a shisha. But Ivo takes me to the outdoor pool. One hour of swimming One hour on the lawn. One hour of swimming. Ivo allows me to take a cold shower without shower gel after swimming. It feels good. And I like my tight white ass.

Project diary, day 3:

When Akay sends me the message to remember that my gym clothes are still in the locker, I'm already awake for an hour. Pushups and situps. I got quite a tantrum from my mom yesterday about how my room looks. Hey, the laundry isn't that dirty yet. And I'll clean up the cum-soaked handkerchiefs tonight.

Since the rest is as I said in the gym, I go only in tracksuit with white socks and Adiletten in the bus. I look so antisocial. Makes me somehow horny. In the gym I'm alone today. Fuck, to be honest, the losers only disturb. Let them hang out, I have my own rhythm. And it beats out of iron. For solid muscles. I take a break only to pour protein shakes into me. And on the way to the outdoor pool I make a quick stop at Bogdan's cousin. Trimming the sides And trim the beard.

At dinner, my mother tells me that I stink as much as my room. My father is on my team. He pumps himself. And considerably more than me. It's good to have support at home for my goals. I eat my five chicken breasts with rice, drink two more liters of water and then go to bed. Dad looks in again, laughs, says that nothing stinks as cool as pump sweat and asks if he should get me a syringe cure. Fist bump, old man! But I stay natural for now.

Project diary, day 4:

Was horny while pumping. Today on the bench 150 kilograms pressed. Need new tank top. The old one stinks excellent. But is too tight.

In the evening once again met with the guys on Shisha. Was cool. But they are not focused enough. Juri has scratched his belly. Ey, hardly a six-pack to see. Would I be ashamed of myself!

Project diary, day 6:

Ey, yesterday completely forgotten the diary. Was in great shape in the gym. In the afternoon then posed at the pool. Trained on the pull-up bars. The fans applauded. And in the evening with my old man bombed our arms for an hour. I'd like to have his biceps too.

Today is free. Sascha got me an appointment with the tattoo artist. Before again Barber And afterwards outdoor pool. And then party. The boys and me to the disco. Man, I could have had them all! And I fucked two guys on the toilet. Shit, I have so much energy, I really have to cum four times a day. At least!

Project diary, day 7:

I can only hope that one of the guys makes the presentation about our project. I'm so totally not up for it. I already wrote the damn diary. And I was the guinea pig. I'm a fucking hot lab rat.

One of the guys said last night that I used to be a nerd and a weakling. Must have been a long time ago.

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #inked man #tank top #chronivac #muscle transformation #male transformation

[bbanghiitomi]

| little miss tragic girl

synopsis: hanni consults an open forum to ask for help in dealing with anxiety and meets the love of her life.

— nonidol!phanni × nonidol!fem!reader

Ꮚ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ꈊ⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ᏊᏊ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ꈊ⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ᏊᏊ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ꈊ⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ᏊᏊ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ꈊ⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠Ꮚ

open forum.com: panic attacks/anxiety

spam_honeybunch04 • 2hrs ago

hi guys, i've been dealing with panic attacks and anxiety for quite a long time and it's getting worse recently. i haven't been able to tell anybody about it, i'm scared they won't believe me. is there any tips you guys can suggest for when i have anxiety and panic attacks?

replies:

thegreateinstein • 1hr ago

hey miss, if ur seeing this, i suggest you don't keep those all to yourself. bottling up those problems and refusing to reach out is not good. i'm worried. but i have a suggestion that works always for my nephew. you can do the 3 3 3 rule + breathing.

try to focus on breathing first, then count if you can. look around you then identify 3 objects, 3 sounds that you can hear and then move 3 body parts. i can guarantee it works, i always use that when my 10 yrs old nephew gets panic attacks.

spam_honeybunch04 replied.

thanks for the advice, and i understand it's bad if i keep it to myself but i am still trying to find the right moment to reach out.

thegreateinstein replied.

don't worry, everything's gonna be alright. i promise, if you need help you can always reach out to me. hugs! (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

spam_honeybunch04 replied.

thank you so much (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ!!

hanni walks inside their classroom, with her bag on her shoulder. hanni's feet felt lightweight, she calculates every step she takes in order to calm herself. today is another one of those days. classes are extreme, from 2pm to 8pm with two hours vacant. hanni needed to take deep breaths while walking to her seat, she tried to brush all of it away but just taking deep breaths isn't enough.

hanni's shoulder felt heavy, it's like she's carrying the burden of the world on her shoulders — too much for her small figure to manage. when she took a seat, hanni tried her best not to slump her shoulders and let out a deep sigh.

she haven't been able to get enough sleep, with college beating her down and then her panic attacks inside her dorm. it's so hard, but lately — after her inquiry on the open forum website, she's been able to manage her panic attacks better than before.

all thanks to user thegreateinstein.

hanni felt relieved she had met someone like them in a forum full of assholes. honestly, she didn't think she'd get a decent answer but luckily someone smart was able to give her a good response. hanni kept thinking about thegreateinstein, their sheer intelligence, proven by their witty and helpful answers on the site.

hanni had been lucky to encounter such a human.

"hey, y/n! let's visit the internet cafe later, i'm gonna show you the new legendary skin i got." hanni heard a voice from somewhere, the call of your name and the familiar topic of video games — she's gotten used to your conversations with your friend about the rpg game that's currently the most popular thing in today's generation. as her seatmate, hanni had taught herself not to mind you and your friend's business.

you walked past hanni, then sat next to her, your eyes fixed on the person across the long table.

"already? wasn't the skin released like a few days ago?" you asked, pushing your specs up your nose bridge. hanni looks at you, then to your friend — then back to her laptop she placed on the shared table.

"i know! i checked the stats and it's o-p!" jayoon, your friend enthusiastically claimed. you laughed. hanni liked that, fighting the urge to smile. "oh really? you know it's gonna get nerfed right? that's what they always do, release o-p skins then nerf them on the next update."

hanni has not had much of a recollection of when she started liking you, she doesn't remember much but one day, you looked at her and smiled, then her world started revolving around you.

jayoon grimaced and pushed your shoulder as she propped her upper body on the wooden surface. "dude, just check it out! maybe help me build my main later, i'll send you coins."

after classes, you sat next to jayoon inside the internet cafe, your eyes reading the line of sentences on the screen. jayoon is busy playing on her pc. opening the game once again, you clicked your character icon and took a screenshot of it — exited the game to the open forum site and started typing away.

open forum.com: video game (rpg)

thegreateinstein • 30mins ago

does anyone here play RAN online?

[insert picture]

i have 1,000 worth of gemstones here. i play f2p on this account and was wondering if i could put these gems to good use.

replies:

kimmingki_04 • 3mins ago

broooo that's some good stuff there, you can use those gems to purchase level ups for your character! u sure you're f2p?

thegreateinstein replied.

yeah dude, i am. i got two accounts, one f2p and one for whaling. btw thanks, i'll use these to purchase level ups.

kittykangfroggy • 10mins ago

that's insane for f2p, you only have few skins too and your build is insane Ó⁠╭⁠╮⁠Ò

thegreateinstein replied.

yah, i barely touched my coins there and i got more free coins from friends.

you pulled your glasses away and rubbed your eyes. "hey, look y/n! this artifact i got is crazy." jayoon tapped your back. pushing the swivel gaming chair, you scoot closer to jayoon. you wore your glasses back and looked at her screen. "keep that, that's for crit rate." you pointed at the screen as you spoke, jayoon gave you a thumbs up and rolled back to your pc.

you got an email on your account and opened it to a message from spam_honeybunch04.

spam_honeybunch04:

hey, thanks for your advice.

it helped me.

you smiled, feeling the red painting your cheeks.

thegreateinstein:

that's great, glad it helped you.

you can always ask if you need help, some people will surely reach out to you.

spam_honeybunch04:

(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ

i wish i can help you with your questions too

(⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

thegreateinstein:

ey, it's fine.

it's just about a nerdy game.

you want to ask more questions?

go on.

spam_honeybunch04:

what do you do when you're sad?

you paused, darting your eyes everywhere, tapping your fingers on the surface below the keyboard.

what do i do when i'm sad?

i don't really know.

thegreateinstein:

anything,

i have no specific answers really

but i play guitar, listen to music and read books

why?

are you sad?

spam_honeybunch04:

yes, most of the time.

i'm lonely here in my dorm,

and i get stressed about college

thegreateinstein:

that's valid,

i think we all get stressed in college

pressure and stuff

i get lonely too sometimes

spam_honeybunch04:

do you like someone?

you do like someone.

thegreateinstein:

yeah, i do

i like this girl in my block

she's cute and nice

but she's quiet most of the time

spam_honeybunch04:

i do too,

same block too.

she's smart and funny.

i get nervous around her and stuff

thegreateinstein:

anxiety?

spam_honeybunch04:

yeah,

i don't think she knows

i can't find the courage to ask her out

thegreateinstein:

don't worry, i feel the same

i don't think she likes me

you know?

she's so pretty, lots of boys like her too

but i want to ask her out

spam _honeybunch04:

you won't lose anything if you try.

you watched as hanni entered inside the room, she's dressed so nice today, everyday. you like her black, long, and silky hair, this time it's tied into two pigtails, decorated with butterfly clips of different colors.

you looked down to the table, eyes darting at the scattered notes on your desk.

hanni sits beside you, placing her bag on the table. her attention immediately diverted to a guy standing by the door of the classroom. "hey hanni, i think that guy wants to ask you out." a blockmate pointed out, hanni smiled at them and stood up to approach the guy.

you watched as they converse, smiles plastered on their faces.

open forum.com: dating/relationships

thegreateinstein • 3hrs ago

how should i ask a girl out? simply telling them sounds lame, i want it to be more sincere. any ideas?

replies:

morethanmodani • 2hrs ago

oh naurrr! there's nothing wrong about just asking them out, face to face is the best way. as long as you're sincere with your feelings and you really want that girl then go for it!

thegreateinstein replied.

a lot of guys are asking her out too, how do i stand out from them?

morethanmodani repied.

do the things they don't do! check the patterns of those boys and do better! see more…

kimmingki_04 • 56mins ago

use sweet words bro, ask her out in an intimate place where it's only the two of you!

you received a message from spam_honeybunch04.

spam_honeybunch04:

i saw your post.

you're asking her out now?

thegreateinstein:

yeah, idk how.

there's an upcoming party for the year end. i want to ask her out that same night.

spam_honeybunch04:

oh right,

it's the year end season,

we also have a party.

why not by the end of the party?

thegreateinstein:

i thought of that too.

how about you?

spam_honeybunch04:

still not ready, lol.

thegreateinstein:

that's alright, hope you find the courage.

what should i tell her?

spam_honeybunch04:

idk, your feelings i guess.

how much you like her,

what she means to you.

then ask if her heart's available for love.

you stood in the middle of a crowd, there were a lot of students surrounding you inside the gymnasium court of your school, the stench of alcohol, body odor, and cologne wafted around you.

disgusting.

it made you sick, but your eyes are set on the shorter girl walking amongst the crowd. hanni wore a hoodie, zipped open but not wide, she wore a tank top inside, shorts, below the knees socks and nike dunk low. her hair is styled, flowing gently on her shoulders.

you followed her as she made her way inside the restroom, pushing through unfamiliar faces of students you don't care about. your head hangs low, your specs are tainted, moist by the sweat from the heat.

you needed air, and so did hanni.

when you got inside, all the stalls were open except for one, you can hear sobs and sniffles echoing. hanni's crying and carefully made your way to her stall.

open forum.com: panic attacks/anxiety

thegreateinstein • 20mins ago

hey guys, how do i comfort a girl crying inside a restroom stall in the middle of a party? i think she's having a hard time.

open forum.com: panic attacks/anxiety

spam_honeybunch04 • 25mins ago

i'm currently in the middle of a party, can't go home yet… having a panic attack. how do i deal with this?

sadly, you weren't able to see her post, neither did she with yours.

you approached the door and knocked. "miss? hanni? are you there?" you hear her sniffles, you can feel her breathing being unsteady, the way she sobbed hard. "hey, hanni. please answer." you leaned on the door. hanni had her hand clutching her chest, nails digging the cloth under her palm.

"y-yeah…" she answered. you pushed yourself off of the door, and looked up. "do you mind if you open the door? do you need help? i'm here." you told her, the music outside is muffled by the tiled walls, yet it rang inside hanni's head.

you can tell she's hesitant.

"i'm the only one here." you assured her. hanni felt her heart tightened, she couldn't breathe. reaching for the lock with her shaking hands, she pushed the door open and her eyes met yours, you can see the tear stains on her face. you frowned and let the girl reach for your frame, arms wrapping themselves to your torso.

you placed your hands on the top of her head and her back, gently rubbing her back as you rocked her — the same method you do to your nephew. "shh…" you whispered, pulling her close. you feel her bury her head on your shoulders, sobbing. "hey, what happened?" you asked.

"i — don't know, i just don't want to be here anymore."

you nodded. "hey, hey, hey hanni… breathe through your nose, gently, as slow as possible. deep. breaths." you whispered, as close as you can to her ears. you can feel her breathing, after a few minutes it becomes steady. "count to 10 okay?"

hanni nodded.

"1…"

"2…"

"3… 4…"

you started counting with her.

"5…" a gentle pat on her back.

"6… 7…"

hanni sobs.

"8… 9…"

"it's okay." you whispered.

"10…"

you wait for a minute before you continue.

"can you look around, give me 3 objects you can see."

hanni blinks. "a tissue holder."

"uh-huh."

"faucet… and your watch."

you smiled at her.

"3 things you can hear, hanni."

hanni nodded. "alright, the music outside. then, your voice…"

"and?"

hanni looked up at you. "your heartbeat."

you meet her gaze.

"does that count?" you chuckled, hanni laughed. "i don't know, but it's loud enough for me to hear." she replied.

"last, move 3 body parts of yours." hanni nodded, her feet stepping forward, her fingers trailed over your arms and hanni leaned her head on your chest.

you looked up and sighed. "you're so strong hanni." you told her, hanni smiled when her eyes saw your smile.

"you are stronger than me."

you shook your head and looked at her. "nah, it's you who faced everything. it's your battle and you fought very well. i'm here to help you, always. if you want i'll take you back to your place."

hanni looked down and chuckled. "it's too far from here—"

"it's alright, car. i have a car, you'll be safe inside your place."

hanni will forever be thankful for your existence, your smile when you dropped her off her dorm, your eyes when you looked at her.

she liked you before but now —

she's fallen in love, but this time she will never forget how.

spam_honeybunch04:

thank you

(⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

i love you.

open forum.com: dating/relationships

thegreateinstein • 2hrs ago

what is the best idea for a first date?

replies:

gracelee.008 • 23mins ago

weren't you just about to ask a girl out? lol you're so fast!!!!

#female reader #kpop imagines #kpop #newjeans imagines #newjeans #hanni pham #hanni #girl group #danielle

[a-s-levynn]

I'm terrified to post this. So watch me sprinting away into the distance after dropping this.

Open love letter to -in extension to the wider ST community on tumblr, but especially- to the fellowship of Sleep because without you, life would be much more lonely

My Friends,

It was today when it finally dawned on me that you gave me the most undescribably precious gift. Many of you probably going to relate to this to some degree because i am not unique in any sense but i had to get this out. And by just the sheer lenght probably not many of you will read it. But i still need to put this out there, even if i'm being obnoxious and probably sound overdramatic and maybe even cringy.

I struggle with a lot of things. Anxiety, self doubt, depression, paranoia, self destructive tendencies, self isolation and the list goes on to even darker places. All in all i have a suboptimal mental state to put it lightly. I feel inadequate in many ways. Especially with connecting to people.

To this day, i struggle every day, seeing my friends, you, talk on a daily basis, have inside jokes and wonderful conversations and whatnot and either i like it or not, thoughts intrude: "am i doing enough? Am i a good enough of a friend? Do i really have a place among these wonderful bright souls? Am i intruding? Am i inserting myself into spaces i do not have any right to be? Am i forcing myself into your circles?"

For the longest time, on most days the conclusion was no. I do not belong. You were just being nice to the pathetic little creature in the corner because by nature you are simply kind. But as the weeks went by i learned that you are also awkward people with your own stuggles and hardships which are far harder and more painful than mine. That you are choosing to be kind every day, in spite of what life threw at you. Because you know.

I started to see you also crave a particular type of companionship and you reach out with the same trembling hands, hoping that someone sees it and grabs it. That someone finally says: you are not alone. I am here. For you. With you.

And you did. You've seen a bunch of hands fumbling in the dark, desperate to hold onto something and went: yeah.. i think i'll grab all of them. Because we are coming from the same darkness. And if i can help pull you into the light than you might have the strenght to do the same for me, so we can all sit in the warmth of the fire. The fire we built together. A fire that is growing ever brighter and allowes us to see even more hands on the edges to be pulled and invited into the circle.

So we have. For a while sitting almost silently, showing the things we found along the way. Tentatively feeling out the boundries. Than we broke the silence. You even started to call me your friend at some point. I already considered you mine because i'm painfully lonely and just the gesture, that you included me among the hands you grabbed was enough for me to see you mine. But all in all, for some unknowable reason, we became friends.

The weeks turned into months and i felt a bit more comfortable to approach you on my own clumsy and awkward ways. Many of you know by now that Tiny Token was born because i was too afraid to send a happy birthday ask to someone. I still apologize regularly just for adding thoughts to posts even if i only do it in tags. I am afraid. Of so many thing.

We still don't talk daily. Yet we still call each other friend. We have actual plans now. I still stuggle with the though of not being enough. There are still days when i feel you just feeling pity towards me.

But lately there is an other thought there. Which makes me feel bad for thinking that way. A thought that's never been there before. "If i was truly bothersome or annoying or any way too unpleasent, you could simply walk away. This is the internet after all. You could just block me. You have the option to walk away but you are time and time again choosing not to. No matter how many days pass by with us not talking, you are there. I can count on you. I'm still hesitant to reach out and dump my superficial adversities on you. But i also see you keeping the door ajar, leaving the option there to be approached if anyone needs it. So it would be not just a disservice but an outright insult to you if i'd think you are just acting out of pity. But if you like me than.. there has to be something about me to actually to be worth knowing?"

And that is doing something that ten years worth of failed therapy could not. You made me question my self doubt. It is still there and will be for the rest of my life. But now there is a steady counter balance i never had this solidly in my life ever before.

I'm still afraid to ask even if anyone would be up for a talk, let alone a call because i have little to offer in conversations. I don't talk much by default and that is not a good base for conversations. I'm still terrified of overstaying my welcome. But i also know now that you probably wouldn't mind from time to time. Because you understand. Maybe one day i will get there. I don't know when but there is a hope i never truly had before.

This is something i will never be able to repay you. Thank you for understanding that we all have different levels of anxiety and fear and not holding it against one and other. I'm writing this to you with immens love and eternal gratitude i cannot truly express in any way that does it justice: Thank you for showing me hope. Thank you for being the way you are.

You gave me the biggest gift there is to give.

You gave me your friendship.

I love you.

Yours in friendship,

Levynn

#i know this is long and probably will annoy some people on the dash but this one i refuse to hide under a cut #so i'm just posting this and inelegantly running away immediately in terror to check back hours later

[bleedingichorhearts]

𝕷𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝕺𝖕𝖍𝖎𝖘

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: I guess, don’t deny the affection?? Might be a little fast paced? I don’t know.

𝕬𝖈𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜𝖑𝖊𝖉𝖌𝖊: If you are under the age of 18. Shoo! Go away! Skedaddle! Why you reading this in the first place? Be responsible for/of yourself.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams

TW // Smut/NSFW, Cursing.

Streaming had gotten my attention a lot more lately. The urge to play some games’s for two weeks was strong.

The “game’s” just being Minecraft. I have already went through the Nether portal, now I just needed to find some netherite to make better armor and tools.

“Did we pass the fortress?” I asked the chat, seeing a lot of ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ That didn’t help me out much. “I’ll just keep going, no worries. If we find another one, that’s great too.”

Firing arrows at some Ghasts. I picked up their tears as I made my way around the map. Knowing I could use them for potions later on.

Hearing my door open, I didn’t acknowledge who came through it. To focused on the Ghasts that keep trying to kill me with their fireballs.

Though, I was glad I wasn’t playing with the Face-cam today as I caught glimpse of the blue of Hydras armor being set quietly down on the ground.

Taking notice the second time. I gave Hydra a quick glance. Taking note of him kneeling to the ground next to my chair.

Hello, My little Serpent.

“Hold on chat, I think my internet is acting up.” I half-lied as the screen did have a huge lag spike. Pausing the game, and muting the mic.

Turing in my chair, I gave Hydra my attention. His hands placing themselves on my thighs, slowly rubbing up, and down on the fabric of my pants with his fingers before gripping them and pulling me closer to him. A huff coming from him.

Pay attention to me. I need you.

“Whoa, was that not close enough for you?” I asked him, my nerves buzzing. Getting a little desperate to get back to my gaming.

He rumbled lowly, not liking that response. Pulling his head back to look at me, his electric blue eyes never failing to pull me in. Yet he did not look happy.

Oh? Little Serpent…

“What?” I questioned him. Not liking his look of sternness. “Do you want something?”

Another low rumble, his hands squeezed at my thighs, pulling at the fabric of the pants.

This is how you wanna play?

“Sorry chat, this is going to continue another day, something came up.” I said a little annoyed, taking off my headset, and ending the stream with a proper goodbye.

Turning my attention back to Hydra. The sound of fabric ripping caught me by surprise, my chair jerking back. While I watched just how quickly Hydra ripped through my pants, and underwear.

I can play too.

In a small state of surprise, I didn’t register how Hydra pulled me back to him. How his head now nestled between my legs. Lips sucking, and tongue lapping at my core like a starved animal.

“Hydra…” I whined, body trying to curl up on him. Legs trying to close around his head.

A growl rumbled out of his throat. The vibration sending pleasure through me as he pulled back, his eyes looking up at me in an almost threatening manner.

Oh no you don’t.

His hands pried open my legs with ease. His tongue licking at his lips, and teeth. I didn’t know whether to be aroused, or alarmed at such an hungry gaze. Maybe both?

His head leaned back into my core. His hands wrapping around my thighs while he brought me closer to him. Keeping me snuggly in place while his nose brushed perfectly up against my bud as I grinded on his face. Chasing that high.

Let me taste you.

A moan from him rattled my nerves hard. My own moan following as my back arched, clenching around his tongue. My legs wrapping around the back of his head as I climaxed. His tongue lapping, and slurping up anything I gave him.

“F*ck, H-Hydra, please.” I begged. Hand coming down to try and stop him from eating me out two times in a row.

Another growl ripped through his throat sending another shock of pleasure through me, freezing up my attempts. My hips grinding back up in his face. My god, did I really what him to stop?

Come on, give me another one. Let me feast on your sweet essence. Let me drink from you.

Licking my lips, breathless moans fell from them. Hands gripping tightly into the leather of the chair. That same cord becoming tighter, and tighter the more his tongue thrusted his inside of me.

With a cry, I saw stars as my body tensed up at the climax before going limp within his hold. My own heart beating in my ears.

“F-f*ck me.” I breathlessly mumbled. Lightly feeling myself being lifted, and put down on the much colder ground.

Planing to my little serpent.

“I-I don’t think I can.” I whined, my hand coming up to Hydas chest as he lined himself up. A purr coming from him.

You can my serpent.

A surprised noise left my mouth. Hands immediately scrabbling up to claw at Hydras body as he slowly pushed in, an groan leaving him.

He started off with a slow thrust. Leaving me breathless with each, heavy stroke. I couldn’t help but give him little love bites myself. The taste of his skin addicting with his aquatic scent engulfing my senses. His hips jerked upward, a moan leaving him this time.

“F*ck, Hydra.” I moaned into his skin as he reached that particular spot inside of me. His hips suddenly adjusting.

Call for me. Call for me again, little serpent.

“Hydra!” I cried out, his pace not as slow as before. His c*ck dragging in all the right places, oh so deliciously. “Oh! F*ck!”

“Please Hydra!” I begged, tears falling down my cheeks. The buildup was too much! His pace too fast! It was too hot!

Oh, I’m going to devour you. I’m gonna f*ck you till you can’t walk. Till you can’t scream anything, but my name. I’m gonna—

A snarl left his lips while I gave out an silent cry. Black stars clouding my vision as heavy euphoria overwhelmed me. My back arching up into Hydra before falling limp underneath him.

Hydra pulled out after a couple lazy thrusts. His form leaning up backwards, his hand dragging up, and down her leg.

The sight of his little serpent. His little mate. Full with his seed inside of her made him groan at the thought of just f*cking it back into her f*ckedout form.

Oh, my little serpent. You’re going to hope you don’t have anything you have to do this week.

#warhammer 40k #space marine husbandry sentience #fanfic #x reader #yandere #yandere space marine #fanfiction #oc: hydra #tw: smut #oneshot #adeptus astartes #astartes x reader #space marine #space marine x reader #ask