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asterekmess · 3 years

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Been seeing you getting hate mail and while I absolutely can't understand why anyone would go to all the trouble to make some one else feel bad... I also kinda really love the discourse on Scott? Like YOUR RANTS oh man. On point. Always. Tbh I tried giving Scott a chance... He is the main char after all... But I was like??? Wtf? That dude does nothing but refute others and does whatever he wants. And this was when I didn't particularly like Stiles either (first time watching Teen Wolf). But then I got to know more of him and like Tony he went asshole to lovable asshole—seriously, Stiles might not be the ‘nicest’ but he tries and his heart is in good place—while Scott is just... self-righteous. Someone pointed out that he sees people as possessions and that irks me too that I can actually see it being true. The dude has literally nothing going on except for being the one that gets bitten. And the Romeo-and-Juliet-esque romance he has.

Okay, okay, where was I going with this?? Right. LOVE YOUR RANTS. People need to understand that Scott not being liked isn't because of his race or anything trivial like it—he just happens to be—but because of his actions. Or inactions, as it were. *remembers the pool scene and Scott saying he's busy and resists the urge to chuck a shoe at him*

Basically, love you, love your work, and love your words! ❤️

I've talked with some friends about it, and our number one issue sort of...boiled down to the hypocrisy of the show? I....sort of rant a lot here, and I would add a Read More, but I can't find the option anymore?? I fucking hate Tumblr. EDIT: I found a post that told me how to do it!

So, since he's the character I focus on the most, let's talk about Stiles' morality. Because, you're right. Stiles is an asshole. He does some fucking awful shit in the first season, and even if he had a Reason to do it, it was still bad. And I still don't like it. But I understand it.

Stiles' lack of shits about what is 'lawful' is literally established in the first ten seconds of the show. He's a sheriff's son who sneaks onto people's roofs in the middle of the night bc they aren't answering his calls, who listens in on his dad's work conversations and is willing to fuck up a crime scene because he's so excited about getting to see a dead body. He doesn't care about laws. He doesn't even care about most basic manners (invasion of privacy much, with having Scott sniff Lydia to see if she liked him?). He's a dickhead, even to the people he cares about sometimes. But personality and morality aren't the same. Stiles' entire actual morality system is based around whatever he needs to do to keep the people he loves safe and happy. Lying to his dad so he doesn't get murdered by hunters? Totally fine. Telling Scott that it was "Jackson's own fault" that Scott attacked him with superstrength and dislocated his shoulder, so Scott doesn't feel like an asshole? That's just best friend duties! He will lie, steal, cheat, and he will kill to keep his loved ones safe (let's not forget this boy threw molotovs at Peter, knowing damn well what they would do to him). We can headcanon all we want about all the different people who are in this group of loved ones, but the list is canonically very short: Scott, his dad, and Lydia. Later on, like, past s3B? It includes Derek. Canonically. Stiles puts his life and the lives of others he cares about on the line while he lies to the matriarch of the Calavera hunter clan, to save Derek Hale. Derek is just canonically a part of that group now, and he fucking knows it bc Stiles is his anchor (that's canon too bb). End of Story, Sterek or no Sterek. It's why we get that insane number of lookbacks when Derek is dying before his evolution. Because Stiles is being forced to choose between two people who are BOTH in his ride-or-die group. He Cannot Pick between Scott and Derek, until Derek begs him to leave.

SO, yes, Stiles does fuckface things, and I don't always agree with what he does, but it is ACCURATE TO HIS CHARACTER. He is morally grey. He NEVER CLAIMS to be pure or good or just or righteous. Stiles knows who he is, and he stays true to himself. And I love him for that.

The same goes for a bunch of other characters! For Peter, who is strikingly similar to Stiles, in that family goes above literally everything. Screw the idea that he was following Derek around waiting for the chance to steal back the Alpha spark. That man put his life on the line (his second life, no less) to get the shit beaten out of him until Derek let him help save Derek's life Again and Again. Family Comes First.

Scott's morality is...confusing as fuck. I thought at first he was similar to Stiles, in that family came first, but...while he's protective of his mother, he also does a lot of stuff that puts her at risk without seeming to care/worry (like leaving Peter alone with her once Stiles hits their car, so he can chase Jackson) (or asking her to come to the high school when he's convinced there's a bomber in it)? Seriously, he's more protective over Allison, than his mother. It's very black and white the rest of the time. Very "this bad" "this good." And if you do "bad" then you are bad forever, while if you do "good" you are only good until you do "bad." The Betas were "good" until they asked for the bite, and then they were "Bad." Derek was "bad" when Scott met him and scared him, so after that, no matter how much "good" he did, he remained "bad." But only when it suits him. Allison is good even when she does bad, because he wants her to be good. Chris is good even though he's done mountains of bad, because of the minuscule amount of good that Scott has seen him do, because Scott wants him to be good. Even DEUCALION is good, despite the crazy CRAZY amount of bad he's done and despite having seen him do NO GOOD, just because Scott wants him to be good. Lying to those closest to you is bad, unless Scott is doing it, and then it's good, because he knows HE is good. Killing people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Letting villains go is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Biting people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Protecting family is good even if it requires killing or lying, unless it's not Scott doing it. Revenge for past slights is good, unless it's not SCOTT doing it. And you try to understand it! You try to say, okay, then he's morally grey, got it. He plays with the rules to suit his own morality, whatever. Except that Scott, the other characters, and THE SHOW ITSELF, are all telling you otherwise! They all say that Scott is morally pure. That he is good and righteous and lawful. That he always does the "right" thing, and that when he does "bad" things, it's justified and he had to. THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES say Scott is somehow better or more righteous than the other characters by MAKING HIM AN ALPHA OUT OF NOWHERE. (I'm talking abt canon here, not going into deaton conspiracy theories) It's like....Like in the hate mail response I did, where I pointed out that Every Single Thing people get angry at Derek for doing, Scott did too. Lying, killing (or at least attempting it), attacking innocents, losing his temper, keeping secrets, refusing to work with someone who could help, etc etc etc. Everything Derek has done that is morally "wrong," Scott has also done. And that's okay! Doing a bad thing doesn't make you a bad person, and even if it did, Scott is ALLOWED to be bad! GO FOR IT.

Except that he is sinless. It isn't that he learns from the bad things he does, it's that they aren't treated like bad things in the first place. Because Scott did it, and Scott always does the right thing.

Derek's behavior is reprehensible at times, but the show ADMITS that and frames it as bad. Frames it as him doing a bad thing when he scares Isaac or throws Peter or tells Erica who to date. And that's fine, because Derek is established as not being morally pure.

But SCOTT IS. And because they were so desperate to make him continue being "Pure" they didn't frame the things he did as wrong, or if they did, they absolved him of it immediately, using the exact same reasoning that works for Derek's situations, but this time Actually Accepting it.

He scares Stiles, well it's because he's scared. He throws Isaac, it's because he's upset. He attacks Jackson well it's because Jackson was being a dick. He orders Allison to date Matt, well he had a goal to accomplish. Every reason is treated like a fucking doctor's note that erases the bad things he does.

Being scared, or angry, or retaliating to someone being an asshole, or trying to protect himself, was NEVER a good enough reason for Derek to do ANYTHING "Bad." It was never an acceptable excuse.

IF IT WERE: If the show were making a statement about how fallable people are, how they do bad things, but they do them for a REASON. How people will do wild and terrible things out of fear, and how that doesn't make it less bad, but it makes it understandable, so don't demonize them out of nowhere. If that were the case, I would HAVE BEEN FINE WITH IT.

Scott is held to COMPLETELY different standards than everyone else in the show! And I DON'T mean that people held him to higher ones. They dropped that bar so fucking low. Anything was allowed, and any excuse was good enough.

He made out with a girl who was dating someone else, who his best friend was in love with? It's just the full moon, he's angsty about losing Allison. He ducttapes Liam to a bathtub and starts throwing random phrases at him that he hated Derek for saying to him? He's freaked out! He doesn't know what to do with a bitten wolf! It was an accident! He works with a mass murderer behind people's backs without telling them the whole story? Am I talking about Gerard or Deucalion? Who fucking knows. Either way, it's okay, because he was protecting his family. He plots to murder a cancer patient slowly and painfully by replacing meds that likely included painkillers with mountain ash, and the uses someone else's body to deliver the killing blow, and it's okay because he was just being smart! He was just working ten steps ahead! He was saving his mom and the whole town! Who cares if it DIDN"T WORK?

He walks into his ex-girlfriend's hotel room and scares the SHIT out of her while she's naked and alone in the shower? It was the wolfsbane. It doesn't matter that no one else's impulses included HARASSING someone. He lies to his girlfriend's face about her own life because he doesn't think it's important enough for her to know (who am I talking about, come on, take a guess, which one is it? Allison or Kira? Trick question: it's both). He was just being kind! He didn't want to worry her! He didn't want to make her feel bad! She didn't need to know!

I'm so far off track it's not even funny. My point was that Everything the other characters in the show are demonized for or framed as evil or bad or wrong for doing, Scott is shown to do and it's treated like at minimum a comedy, if not a Perfect Brilliant Strategic Move.

God, fucking hell. I mean, the PARALLELS you see in this show, between Scott and others. The scene of Alexander Argent going to the hotel after being bit? That bit where he pulls his shirt up in the mirror? It's a near PERFECT replica of Scott looking at his bite at Deaton's. They paralleled SCOTT MCCALL with AN ARGENT. Deaton has this whole line in S2 where he's bitching at Derek about "the person you should trust the most doesn't trust you at all" And then seasons later, we have Scott look his best friend in the eye and refuse to trust him, only to get upset later because Stiles doesn't want to work with him anymore and he "lost them." Scott goes running into Derek's house in S1 to accuse him of killing the bus driver, and when he can't get a real response, he EGGS HIM ON by accusing him of Murdering his SISTER, just to get Derek to react. Which is the EXACT same thing Kate did when she showed up and wanted Derek to lose his temper. Scott is CONSTANTLY paralleled with villains and assholes, and constantly does the things that others are persecuted for. But instead of feeling regret or learning something from it, instead of growing AT ALL. Those actions are treated as good. We are told they are righteous. And clever. That they are what heroes do. AND YES: There are parallels between Derek and Stiles' behaviors and villains/morally grey characters! Of course there are!

BUT THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THE TRUE ALPHA MAIN CHARACTER. SCOTT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD GUY. HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MIMIC/EMULATE THE VILLAINS, AND HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REWARDED WHEN HE DOES IT ANYWAY.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I understand the urge to think that the Teen Wolf writers did all of this on purpose. That they built Scott up as an unreliable narrator, so that we're forced to come to terms with a protagonist who isn't good, and we watch them fall into a villainous role while thinking all the while they are a hero. That all these parallels are intentional and the writers just couldn't Tell us what was going on bc they didn't have enough power.

And sometimes I play into it. I will lie to myself about Scott being the 'narrator' of the entire show, and that we're seeing it all through his eyes so of course things are biased and conflicting, just so I can actually Enjoy watching it.

But I think it's absolute bullshit that this was done on purpose. It wasn't. The parallels appeared because they Wanted Scott to do the badass things that they had all the villains doing, throwing people and being sneaky and clever, and stopping the bad guy, and they didn't want to deal with the fact that they were having him do bad things. So they just pretended he wasn't and refused to acknowledge that they'd already punished other people for doing the same exact shit, but somehow Scott was getting rewarded. They wanted Scott to be the hero, so they made him the hero, and screw everybody else.

#personal #anti-Scott McCall #go for it #love mail #meta ramblings #rant #long post #WHERE IS THE READ MORE BUTTON HALP

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fivelakesinwriting · 3 years

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Out of Character (Rafe Cameron)

Warnings: Violence, sexual content (on the milder side - it's going to be full send soon, friends), swearing.

Author's Note: Only original character's and story lines are of my own. I do not own the character's related to the Outer Banks series, nor the actors.

*This will also NOT be linear with the show. So don't be upset.

It would be referred to as the Red Night. Her dress was red, as was the sky as the day held on for a few more hours.

Then his knuckles turned red. His face oozed with blood as it dripped into the clear waters of the shore. His eyes wild and bloodshot as he doled out the punches one by one.

"Rafe! Rafe, stop!" Her voice sounded like it was miles down the shoreline when she was actually three steps behind him.

"TOPPER, DO SOMETHING!" She screamed as she pulled at his best friend's shirt, everyone else watched in shock.

The shorter, but equally as strong boy grabbed his friend by his shoulders and pulled him off the tall blonde. He whispered something into the taller boys ear as they stepped back.

"Lucky my girl is here, man." Rafe grumbled as he spit blood into the ocean water as he glanced from the Pogue to his petrified girlfriend.

"Which one?" JJ Maybank grinned through the pain in his jaw as he pulled himself up from the water.

"Fuck you! Pogue scum." Rafe spat as he lunged towards the boy again.

"Ah! Not so fast." The Maybank boy replied as he quickly pulled a gun from the waistband of his shorts and pointed it at the group of Kooks.

"JJ, what the fuck are you doing?" She asked as she held her hands in front of her.

"Gemma, come and stand behind me." JJ ordered, his eyes as wild as his cocaine fueled Kook counterpart.

"Gem, don't you fucking dare." Rafe growled from deep in his chest as he grabbed her elbow with his bloody hand.

It was like the Wild West. A stand off after a brawl. Two men at odds with one another. The drugs, the alcohol. And now a gun.

"Gemma, come here. I will take you home." Topper Thornton spoke softly, his voice permeated the tense scene.

All sides watched to see what the girl would do. Stand behind the rogue Maybank boy while he wielded a pistol? Or stay with the wild eyed Rafe Cameron? Who would no doubt drive them home coked out and drunk.

The brunette took small steps away from the standoff and walked towards the boy with the bleached blonde hair. She looked between the dueling boys one more time before before she took Topper's outstretched hand and let him lead her away.

"Topp?" She asked softly as she held onto his strong bicep as they walked quietly up the beach to his Jeep.

"Yeah, Gem?" He asked, both hands in his pockets. He knew better than to put his hands on Rafe Cameron's girl.

" Can I stay with you tonight? She asked with a sniffle. Topper had not stopped to realize how traumatic the situation they had just witnessed had truly been for the girl in the middle of it.

"Yeah, of course." Topper nodded as he helped her into the front seat of his Jeep.

The night was far from over after leaving the Boneyard, although a lot of the parties involved wished it was. An hour after the majority of the teens dispersed, Rafe Cameron was left alone on the shore with nothing but his high, his thoughts, a half bottle of vodka, and her voicemail.

"Gemma, this isn't funny. Pick up." He growled into his phone before he took a swig of vodka. He hung up and tried her number again, only to roar with frustration when it went straight to voicemail again.

"ANSWER ME!"

Hi, it's Gemma Mercer. I'm probably on the beach or working at the country club. Leave me a message. Bye!

"Baby, I'm sorry. Please, you have to call me back. Just let me know that you got home okay." He slurred as his vision got blurry, but the redial button was habitual at this point.

"Just don't fuck him , okay? Not Topper." He grumbled as his head nodded forward and his chin touched his chest. He wanted to sleep on the beach tonight, but not alone.

Rafe woke up a few hours into the night ready for another hit, angry and deep down he was worried about his girl. He checked his phone with what little battery it had and saw the message from her.

At Topper's tonight. I'm ok.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Topper whisper yelled as he came running out of the driveway to meet his still very drunk friend.

Rafe spat the thick blood that remained in his mouth into the ocean before he stood up and trudged through the sand towards his Jeep.

Rafe peeled into Topper's driveway as he laid on the horn for a solid five seconds before he got out.

"Where is she? Why is she here?"Rafe asked as he looked around the property. His mind raced with accusations that maybe she was cheating like he had before.

"She wanted to be. That was fucking scary, bro." Topper replied as he looked Rafe up and down. He was covered in dried blood from his nose down to the hem of his Polo.

"Well, I didn't pull a Wesson on everyone" Rafe muttered as he lit up a cigarette."

"You started the fight with that Maybank kid. You guys looked like one of you was gonna leave in a body bag, man."

Rafe shrugged. He had found the perfect place to assert his dominance over JJ Maybank, and he used it. Maybank looked at Gemma too much, talked to her too much. And Rafe didn't like that.

"Rafe." Her voice came from behind Topper. Rafe looked behind his friend and saw her there inn one of Topper's shirt. His blood boiled and his mind raced.

"It's not like that, Rafe. She needed something wear after the party that wasn't her dress. I ...I gave her some clothes. Nothing happened." Topper stuttered as he looked between the sleepy Gemma, and the rage filled Rafe.

"Yeah? Well, next time my girl asks you to take her home, don't take her back to your bed and get your into your fucking clothes." Rafe seethed before he brushed passed his friend to walk to Gemma.

"Baby, I'm so fucking sorry. Please, come back with me. I'm sorry about the fight with Maybank, and the coke. All of it. I don't want to be alone tonight." Rafe pleaded as he stood on the ground and looked up and the small woman on the porch.

He hated seeing her in Topper's clothes. It gave him heinous images of Topper and Gemma together that made him sick.

"You did a dumb thing, Rafe Cameron." She stated, her arms across her chest. She looked him up then down. Rafe felt like she looked right through him.

"I know. I fucked up. Baby, please just get in the Jeep." Rafe begged. He felt his high begin to dwindle. All he wanted was his bed, his girl and total darkness.

It had always been hard for Gemma Mercer to say "no" to Rafe Cameron. From the first beer he handed her a house party, to the first time he pulled her panties down her legs. Gemma had a difficult time using judgement with Rafe.

"Fine. You have serious making up to do, Cameron." She replied as she walked down the steps towards Rafe's still idling Jeep.

"Whatever my baby wants." Rafe muttered under his breath so Topper didn't hear as they walked by. Rafe got in the car and peeled out as fast as he pulled in , leaving Topper Thornton in a daze.

Back at Tannyhill Rafe silently pulled Topper's clothes off of Gemma, and made silent vow to burn them at the next Boneyard party. He nudged her bare backside towards his bed, speaking a soft "go" before he took of his bloody shirt and pants. He quietly moved to his en-suite bathroom to wash the blood from his face before he climbed into bed with her.

"You know that Maybank was just talking shit tonight. You're my girl. My only girl." Rafe muttered as he pulled her close.

"I know, Rafe." She whispered into his chest, an arm around his thick torso.

"Do you?" He asked firmly as he pulled back to look at her.

"Yeah, baby. I know I'm your girl, and JJ only said that to get under your skin. Which worked. If I wasn't your girl then why would I be your date to Midsummer?" She smiled as she rolled over to straddle his hips.

Rafe groaned as he held onto her bare hips. "Don't start something you can't finish."

"I always finish." She grinned as she placed her hands on his chest, her hips raised a little to never give him the satisfaction of her heat.

"Fucking right you do." Rafe growled as he dug the pads of his fingertips into her hips to pull her down to his lap completed. He sat up and covered her gasp with his mouth.

"Please." She whispered against his lips as he rocked her hips back and forth on top of him. Her hands weaved themselves into his now messy hair and pulled, desperate for his attention.

"I kinda like this." Rafe smirked as he held onto her hips, his eyes on her mouth as she chased his lips.

" Baby, please!" She whined out loud before Rafe slapped a hand over her mouth. He knocked the tiny brunette onto her back and laid between her legs.

"Desperate for me tonight, huh? Poor Topper. Missed out on the ride of his life with you." Rafe growled as he kept one hand over his lover's mouth and the other ran down her stomach to between her legs.

Gemma glared at him over his fingers, both for the Topper comment and for his fingers barely touching her. She wiggled her hips to get closer to either of his appendages, but Rafe pulled away.

"Be a good girl." Rafe growled in her ear as his middle finger found it's way inside of her. She gasped into his hand, and Rafe's stomach dropped. No drug was like her and the way she reacted to him.

Gemma flipped the switch on him as her her hands that gripped his biceps reached down to his manhood for the gentlest squeeze.

"Ah! Fuck you, Gemma." Rafe hissed as he thrust into her grip and released his hand from her mouth.

She gave him eyes that sparkled and he knew that she was nothing like the girl everyone else saw. She wasn't the good girl who served his parents margaritas after 18 holes of golf.

Rafe knew she was more than an ironed Polo and a nice smile. She was vodka straight from the bottle. A short red dress with no underwear on at a house party full of Kooks. She was driving too fast down The Cut with her head out of his sunroof, flashing passersby , before she climbed back in and let him have his way with her in back seat.

Gemma Mercer was Rafe Cameron's girl. And he would never let her, or anyone else forget it.

*Thank you for reading the first part of my Rafe Cameron fic. Please let me know what you think, like it, message me. What have you. I'm looking forward to chatting with you OBX cuties :) More to come if it is received well.

#rafe cameron smut #obx imagine #obx smut #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey smut #drew starkey imagine #topper thornton #topper thornton smut #original female character

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thewalkingdead-imagines · 3 years

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TWD - Negan Imagine ~ “Here’s Negan”

Imagine for the 22nd episode of season 10

Summary: Until they can find their way back to one another, both Negan and the Reader have to deal with the ghosts of their pasts and overcome present threats that try to rob them of their future in Alexandria

Leaves rustled underneath Negan’s feet as he moved through the thick undergrowth of the forest, only stopping as he watched Carol kneel down for a second to pull a dead rabbit out of its trap, the first success of this little hunting trip. “Hey, I just wanted to thank you for getting me the hell out of there for a bit. I mean you may have noticed things with Maggie and I are a little bit tense”, he spoke up, clearing his throat as he thought back to yet another encounter with her earlier today during his reconstruction shift by the woodhouses. She hadn’t said anything, as usual, but if looks could kill, fuck, he’d be as dead as mutton right now. Carol only nodded as she got back on her feet, without looking just once at him as she kept on strolling. ”I don’t mind being lay little Negan for a bit but hell, there’s only so far I can go to get out of her way”, Negan started back up, adjusting the bag on his shoulder as they moved out of the darkness of the forest onto more open woodland that was covered with with a couple scattered bushes. He was trying to lead this conversation into a direction without directly going at it like a bull at the gate, hoping that this would give him better chances but Carol either didn’t want or didn’t get the clues he’d been throwing into their rather one-sided conversations since they’d stepped out of the gates of Alexandria. They still had a deal, and she still hadn’t done her part. A thick sigh left his lips as he looked over at her, before he started back up, for yet another, but more offensive try. “You know I was thinking maybe you put in a word for me”, he said, careful not to trip as he moved over the grassy, overgrow ground,”Let’s move things over at least kinda get the ball rolling. Given our recent history, I kinda figured you owe me that much, right?” Nothing. She didn’t say anything, not even the slightest peep and instead moved straight towards a shabby looking cabin at the end of the clearing, leaving him startled for a moment as he stared in between her and the small house. "You know this place?”, he called out as she kept walking, not turning back to look at him and instead just hummed in agreement. A small but frustrated groan fell from his lips as he sped up his steps to catch up with her, trying to figure out what she was up to and what that cabin had to do with it until she stopped right on its porch and let the door swing open for him to look inside. He should’ve known. Fuck he should’ve known that she hadn’t taken him on this trip here because of the goodness of her heart, she had a plan all along and that plan was to get him out of Alexandria. For good. “I see you went ahead and moved me in”, it left his lips with a scoff as he stepped inside the cabin and looked at the boxes that stood in the middle of the room, filled with his belongings while his leather jacket was thrown over a rocking chair right next to them. This was like a bad dream, a fucking bad dream that he just wanted to wake up from. ”I’m sorry. The council voted to banish you”, Carol’s voice ripped his eyes from the boxes and darted them at her as she shrugged her shoulders slightly She wasn’t sorry. Nor did the council vote to banish him. This was bullshit. He’d been right there when Gabey had told his wife about the council’s inactivity during his trip with Aaron, he’d been right there when he’d assured the both of them that no decisions would be made about him as long as they were gone. She was trying to feed him steaming hot bullshit. “What you want just isn’t gonna happen, it’s not possible”, Carol said, the tone in her voice pretty much the same as the one a nanny would use with a clueless, dumb kid,”I know it’s not what I promised but given our less recent history? It’s better than you deserve.” The corner of her lips quirked up as she looked at him, while a part of him was still not fully getting that this here was happening right now. For nearly two weeks he’d been living and working in Alexandria like anybody else, doing his part to build it back up without any problems. And now this shit was happening out of the blue, trying to tear the life with his wife from him that he’d just reached. Looking at the woman in front of him he furrowed his brows, trying to test the waters first and see what she’d do if he’d start to debunk these lies of hers. “Did the council really banish me or is this more of a Carol seizing the reigns kind of situation?”, he started, but instead of an answer, Carol merely started to smile, a condescending and nearly wicked look in her eyes as she tilted her head a little and looked at him before she strutted past him and pushed the dead animal into his hands. “It’s rabbits for you.” “You really didn’t think this through”, Negan called out as she moved to the door, louder now as he could feel the anger starting to boil slowly but surely up in him. This whole shit wasn’t just about his own ass, Carol was pulling his wife into this bullshit too and this was where he drew the line. She’d been happy during these last two weeks, so damn happy to finally gain a bit of the life she’d always dreamed of having with him and he wasn’t gonna let Carol ruin that happiness of hers merely because she thought it was her place to decide over his fate. “My wife’s part of the council”, he said, a humorless chuckle leaving his lips as he could see her stopping in her tracks,”If any decision like that would’ve been made, I wouldn’t be here right now. I’d see her raise hell in that little makeshift church right now.” With that he could see her turning around to him, just enough to look at him, not more. “Oh and-”, he called out, snipping fingers in an overdramatic fashion,”When Gabey left with Aaron, he made sure to tell her the council’s inactive for the time being. There was no fucking vote.” She’d been busted, clearly and he could tell that she didn’t plan for him to pull out arguments like these, but much to his annoyance, it didn’t seem to bother her. The look on her face was the same, nearly indifferent, as if she didn’t care about it. “So if I’m supposed to stay here, what’s gonna happen with her?”, Negan called out as he stepped onto the porch, closing the distance as she shrugged her shoulders. “She’s gonna have to decide.” “She’s one of the only doctors left in Alexandria”, it left his lips with a scoff, the anger now starting to let his body tingle as the indifference in Carol’s voice nearly drove him wild,”She’s gonna choose me. You really wanna risk losing another doc just so you can pull your little solo act here?” “I know what I’m doing”, she just said instead of giving him a true answer, before she turned around to strut towards the edge of the clearing ,”She’s gonna find out. Then we’ll see.” “Carol”, it rumbled through Negan’s trembling chest, up his throat that started to tighten the more anger and desperation boiled up in him as he stepped down the porch. Trying to follow her, he took long steps over the overgrown ground, his heart hammering in his chest before Carol’s hand suddenly fell onto the hunting knife on her belt. “Goodbye Negan”, she called out as her hand wrapped around the knife’s handle to send him a clear warning sign,”Do not try something dumb and do not follow me back.” And with that, she vanished in the thicket of the forest, leaving him to stand there like an abandoned dog while his mind was torn on what to do now.

“How’s the book going?”, you heard Steve’s voice sound through to you as he moved back into the infirmary’s main room, merely some new towels in his hands as he strolled closer. “Pretty good actually”, you said as you nodded down to Negan’s anniversary gift and looked over the dried burdock leaf that he’d glued onto one side and your notes about the medical herb that were already starting to cover the page beside it, “Really starting to look like a handbook.” “Good, I can really use that. Your handwriting is much easier to read than those notes of Siddiq, the info is gold but wow, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a messier handwriting”, Steve said with a soft chuckle, though you could clearly still hear the same sadness sound through it you felt anytime you realized that your friend was gone. A bittersweet look fell between your notebook and Siddiq’s notes that laid right next to it, that had helped you on every step of the way to fill this book up. Slowly you started to nod, about to reply to Steve before a mixture of loud voices made your glance shoot up. “We got an emergency”, you could hear a voice call out, stressed and full of panic before you saw the reason for this turmoil that made your mood switch up from one moment to another. Hanging in between a group of four people that carried him as well as they could hung Carter, barely conscious while a large piece of metal protruded his leg that was covered in dark red blood. “He fell from a ladder on one of the broken pipes”, you could hear one of them say entirely out of breath as they pushed inside and the first thick splatters of blood fell onto the floor in the very moment you rushed towards them. “We need help, now.” Negan’s fingertips were digging into the worn down wood of the windowsill, his eyes staring out at the forest while his mind was running wild. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? He didn’t wanna head back, run into Carol and find himself with a knife sticking into his damn back. Fuck knew what she’d actually do but he sure as shit wouldn’t risk it, not after the way she’d betrayed his ass just now. Sighing he started to walk through the shabby cabin, trying to find just anything to do with himself. There was no way his wife would be here anytime soon, even if she’d hear about Carol’s new plan as soon as she’d arrive back at Alexandria, and he highly doubted that. This place was still far out and he was stuck here now. “Fuck this”, he growled, kicking against the rocking chair that was still filled with his belongings even though he felt like a tantrum throwing toddler the moment his foot met the wood. He was fucking stuck here. Gulping thickly he moved in to take his leather jacket into his hands, run his fingers over the smooth leather as he stared down at it, gulping thickly as his eyes found the marks Lucille’s wire had left here years ago. Looking at them still gave him a bitter feeling. To this day he still didn’t know where she was, no idea what had happed to her after Rick had taken her from his patient’s room in the infirmary. He had no clue if she was somewhere locked away in Alexandria as his wife still hypothesized or if she’d really fallen off that wagon during a weapon transport as Michonne had tried to sell him once...he didn’t know. Gulping thickly he ran his fingers over the marks, thinking back to the last time he’d held her on that goddamn hill that had decided over his fate and merely the memory of it kicked off another range of thoughts. Could they have brought her back there? Was that a possibility? He’d made up his theories over the year in lonely moments down in that cell, without taking any of them all to serious to not let them fuck with his head but the more he thought about it now, the more it seemed like an actual possibility. Rick had always been a nostalgic fucker, he could see him going back there and placing his Lucille at the place he’d slashed his throat and ended the war only to tie up loose ends, only to put some kind of symbolic end to it and give himself another piece of peace after Carl’s death. He could give it a try, right? Just to keep his mind occupied and pass the time until he could make any other decisions for his future. If his wife would even arrive here today, she wouldn’t do so soon, so even if it would just keep him busy instead of actually bring his bat back, this was worth a try, right?

Blood, so much blood. For way too long if felt like you only saw red everywhere you looked. Carter’s leg, the bandages, the cot and the floor until you finally saw Steve’s blood covered hands handing you the last bit of tape to secure the edge of the thick bandage that was wrapped around the leg, marking the end of this ordeal. it took yet another while until you were sure that Carter was stable and the next shift started that finally displace you before you could wash the blood off your hands and stumble outside, plummet down onto the bench that leaned against the wall. Sighing thickly propped your elbows onto your knees, trying to get yourself to realize that you were done for today and were allowed to relax now before you saw Steve moving outside, two glasses of water in his hands. “Thought we could use a bit of a refreshment”, he said, a tired tone in his voice as he stretched one of the glasses towards you. “Thank you”, you mumbled with an exhausted smile, taking the glass from his hand before he let himself fall next to you and sighed deeply. “God I’m glad our shift is over now”, he said, relief swinging through his voice as you took a sip of your water and leaned back against the cushion of the bench,”Can’t wait to go home, eat some dinner with Daniel and then take a big nap.” “Mhmm...sounds like a good plan”, you said, taking another gulp of the water before a small chuckle fell from your lips,”Negan and I found have that DVD collection in our house and honestly, I just wanna out whatever in that console, plunge down on the couch and just shut my brain out.” A sigh left your lips, exhausted but content as you already looked forward to the moment you’d be able to cuddle up against him and switch this bench for the comfy couch. ”Just relax and watch some kinda show, even though I’ll probably fall asleep while I’m at it tho”, you mumbled, a soft yawn leaving your lips as you heard Steve humming in agreement. ”I like that plan too”, he said as you glimpsed over at him and saw him throwing you an exhausted but cheerful look,”Think I’m gonna have to lend one or two DVDs of yours some time, we’ve been rewatching the same stuff for way too long now.” ”Well you’re always welcome to stop by and take a peek at ‘em”, you chuckled, moving in to take your last sip while a small laugh fell from Steve’s lips. “You bet!” With his hands tightly wrapped around the handle of the shovel he’d luckily found in the back of that cabin, Negan found himself standing on the side of the hill, digging into the soil over and over again. There were already holes scattered all around him, with none if them leading to Lucille, nor any clue about her. A thick sigh fell from his lips as he turned his head towards the sound of a walker groan in the distance, faint and barely audible but he could see that dirty fucker shuffling at the foot of the hill, awfully slow and thankfully lonely. That asshole wouldn’t be a problem for him for a while. Turning back around he squinted his eyes slightly, keeping them from being dazzled by sinking sun that started to vanish behind the hill’s top, before his eyes fell on the glimmering glass window that was still hung up on the tree, just as it had years ago, still missing the same shard of colorful glass that Rick had used to slash his jugular with. With a thick gulp Negan looked back down, not all too excited about the memories that started to flood his mind all over again, so instead of spending another moment thinking about the events that had happened here, he dug his shovel back into the soil, hoisting a large piece out of it before a disappointed sound fell from his lips. Again, nothing. “Fuck this”, he growled to himself, staring angrily at the ground below him. Why the fuck was he even so upset? Chances were low that she was actually here, he knew that and still he found himself frustrated. Clearing his throat he strolled along the hill’s side, a little further upward as he gave himself three more chances and then he’d head back to the cabin. Chance 1? Nothing, he just split a poor damn rainworm in half. Chance 2? Nothing again, hole was as empty as a dumb fuck’s head. Chance 3?...still, nothing. “Fuck”, Negan spat out, his hand tightening around the handle, a frustrated groan falling from his lips as he angrily slammed the shovel’s edge into the soil. But instead of the usual shuffling sound, a dull one echoed through the air, letting him flinch and shoot his glance down into the grass as his hands went back to work lickety split. This could be anything, fucking anything but this could also be...it was her. It was really her. The barbed wire peaked out of the grass, slightly detached from the wood that was laying there in the ground, just enough dug out for him to clearly see the bat “Holy fuck”, Negan chocked out as he started to carefully rise her out of the soil, his eyes turning wide as he let the shovel fall and leaned down to carefully pick her up. “Ricky you nostalgic fucker”, Negan mumbled, though his throat was already tightening as he glimpsed down at the bat that had once brought him through this world. He couldn’t believe his eyes for another moment while his thumb ran along the worn down wood that had once been smooth and shiny. He could feel his nose tingling slightly as some tears blurred his view, the mere feeling of holding the bat and the view of her in his hands enough to overwhelm him for a moment. “Oh my-”, it left his lips as he gulped the thick lump in his throat down, turning the bat softly in his hands to get a good look of her. Nature had taken its toll on her, but the bat was still the same, it still gave him the very same warm and safe feeling after all this time. It was still her. A small sniffle let his lips as he stared down at it and felt the heaviness of the emotions she carried wash over him, nearly putting him into a bubble of memories before the groaning of the walker that had shuffled at the hill’s foot earlier got louder. Turning around he saw the dead asshole stumbling closer up the hill while a small grin grew on his face as he rocked Lucille in his hands and held her up like he’d done it thousands of times before. “C’mere fucker”, Negan mumbled, adjusting his posture a little before the walker reached him and he swung Lucille up before rushing her down in a smooth but harsh motion, right against the walker’s skull. A groan fell from his lips as he could see the walker starting to sink to his feet, just as he lunged out one more time and bashed Lucille into the rotting skull, but instead of the squelching sound of flesh, a dull one drowned it that made his heart sink from one moment to another. “No...no”, he gasped, staring down at his broken bat....at his broken Lucille. She hadn’t only lost her top part, she was split down her length, only held together by the rusted barbed wire at this point and his hands that started to tremble more the longer he looked at her broken parts. One moment ago he’d been basking in the joy of finally finding her again and now, now he could feel the lump in his throat growing again as he stared down at the broken bat. From joy to grief in one moment, from relief to regret in the other. “Fuck”, it left his lips with a defeated sound, his eyes welling over with tears as he could feel a dull, pressuring pain spreading over his body, tightening its grasp on him as he fell to his knees and felt the first tear rolling down his cheek as he weighed the broken Lucille in his hands. Could this day become any worse?

The sun was already starting to vanish behind the skyline of the trees as you finally found yourself heading towards Negan’s workplace by the walls, ready to pick him up and just get yourselves home. ”Hey”, you called out with a tired smile as you finally reached the woodhouses and could see Barbara and Daniel still working outside, though you couldn’t spot Negan yet. ”Hey, is Carter doing fine?”, Daniel asked as he stepped from the porch of the house, leaning himself against the wall as you gave him a quick nod. ”Yeah, took a bit but we’ve got him wrapped up now. He just needs to rest”, you said as you moved closer over the grassy ground and nodded towards the cabin’s door. ”Negan’s inside?” ”Nah”, Daniel said, shaking his head as you glanced confused at him,”Went out with Carol a couple hours ago to hunt. Saw her back around here earlier though, he’s probably already at your home.” ”Ah okay. Thank you”, you started to nod again before you made your way back to the road, not questioning that hunting trip all too much though it surprised you a bit that Carol had decided to take him along with her, mostly because she’d been avoiding the both of you during the last while. Instead of waisting your thoughts any longer on the trip you hurried down the street, just eager to get home, relax and hear Negan talk a bout his day. Finally, you moved up the porch stairs of your home, already trying to peek inside and see if Negan was standing by the stove and cooking something but as you stepped inside, you found the living room and kitchen empty. ”Negan? I’m home”, you called out, moving towards the hallway as your only remaining guess was that he had simply just showered and didn’t hear you yet up in your bathroom or was so exhausted that he’d laid down for a quick nap. Moving up the stairs who tried to hear if you could hear him moving around, but instead of footsteps or a rustling sounds you heard nothing but complete silence. “Negan?”, you quietly asked as you opened the door of your bedroom, a part of you nearly waiting to see him sprawled out and snoozing on the bed but as you moved inside, your confusion got doubled. The bed was completely empty, the same way you’d left it this morning but your closet stood open, the bunch of shirts and pants that usually laid stocked up next to your clothes gone. ”What the-”, it fell from your lips, cut off by your confusion as you moved towards the closet and looked at his Negan’s nearly empty spot. Not all was gone, a bit of his clothes way left, some boxer shorts, a couple white shits and some sweatpants but that was it. More confusion flooded your head with every second you stared longer at the opened door, trying to piece the parts of this puzzle together even though you didn’t even have merely enough of them to make sense of this. Negan wouldn’t leave, that was an option that you could exclude from the very first moment on but you still didn’t know what to think and what Negan’s absence and his missing clothes meant, before it slowly started to trickle down on you and a bitter suspicion washed over you. If anyone had to know something about this, it had to be the last person he’d been seen with. Feeling your heart starting to hammer in your chest you rushed down the stairs, nearly tripping over your own feet as you moved down the hallway and back into your living room. Your eyes were roaming over the room as you hurried through it, as if they were trying to pick more pieces to this puzzle on your way out and from one moment to another, they did. Next to the vase of flowers on your dinner table laid a folded up piece of paper that you hadn’t even noticed when you’d first stepped back into your home, a piece of paper that looked like a map as soon as you got closer. Still filled with confusion and tension you grabbed it, unfolding it with quick movements only to feel a wave of nausea wash over you as soon as you saw the cross that marked a spot on the paper and the note underneath it that confirmed your suspicion. “Negan has been banished from Alexandria. Marked spot shows the cabin’s he’s residing at from now on.”

Nausea, anger, fear and desperation turned into a toxic cocktail within your body as you found yourself rushing down the street, clasping tightly onto the map while your eyes were fixated at the brownstones in front of you, blending out anything and anyone else on the road. Your breath was heavy, your body trembling and nearly cramped up with suspense while the growing anger made your body heat up to the point that made it feel like it was on fire while you stormed into the first brownstone’s hallway, heading up the flight of stairs with heavy, fast steps towards Carol’s apartment. She’d done it again. A fucking solo act. You just knew it. And this time she’d gone way too far and she’d pay for that. Banging against the door of her apartment you could feel the side of your hand starting to heat up as it met the wood over and over again until you finally heard footsteps inside that finally stopped right in front of you and the squeaking of the opening door echoed through the staircase. “What is this?!”, you snapped the moment you saw her face, holding up the map in your hand as you glared at her,”What the fuck did you do?” “I did what I had to do”, she said, the tone in her voice indifferent but firm, not at all bothered by your reaction as if she’d already known that you’d come to her place earlier or later. “Are you kidding me?!”, you called out, feeling your voice starting to tremble as the anger within you started to become more and more the longer you had to look at her. “This wasn’t a situation that could stay the same any longer”, she merely said, in the very same tone as before ,”i did what was necessary to not let it escalate.” With that, she tried to close the door on you only for your flat hand to push harshly against the wood, letting it flip open again as you could feel it boiling within you. First she pulled this shit, then acted as if what she was in the right and now she tried to fob you off. “No, no you didn’t”, you snapped, moving forward to push into her apartment so she couldn’t even try to close the door again ,”Your job was to hold up to your end of the bargain. You told me you’d do it.” “Things don’t always work out the way we want them to”, she said, a lecturing tone in her voice, almost as if she was talking to a child instead of an adult,”You should know that by now.” Staring at her you could feel your whole body tense up, could feel an anger seeping into your body that you hadn’t felt before, an anger that got you worked up, an anger that was fueled by the frustration of unfairness over the years, an anger that was emotionally loaded with your urge to protect your husband and the life you’d just gained. The life that was threatened by the reckless act of the woman in front of you that looked at you with an indifference that drove you wild. “You fucking bitch”, you spat out, your self control starting to leave your body as you closed the distance between the both of you and could hear your trembling voice starting to become louder. “You’ve had Negan do your goddamn dirty work, risk his damn life and kill that skinfreak and instead of doing the goddamn bare minimum of laying in a good fucking word for him you had the goddamn audacity to go into our home, go through his stuff and lead him outside under a goddamn pretext”, you yelled out, heavy breaths shaking through your chest as you glared down at her,”You took the fucking easy way out! Like always.” “I did him a favor”, she dared to say, so firm and cold that you could feel the suspense in your body starting to skyrocket,”Maggie would have killed him at some point if I wouldn’t have brought him outside.” “Stop with that fucking bullshit!”, you snapped, stepping closer towards her as she still didn’t even flinch once,”You did yourself a favor. Maggie won’t do shit to him, not on my watch, nor if you would’ve done your part of the deal. You just did this shit so you don’t have to show some responsibility for your actions for fucking once.” “I stand with my decision”, she said the moment your voice hushed, a condescending smile starting to spread over her lips as she tilted her head and looked at you,”And I will not change it. We all have to deal with our own shit and so do you.” There’s this certain moment when anger gets so intense it puts a person into a trance, the type of anger that swallows someone up, puts a bubble around them and turns them from a seething volcano into one that is seconds away from erupting. And right now, that was happening to you. You couldn’t see clear anymore, your view a blur, the map fallen from your hands that were balled so tightly your knuckles turned white while your head was clouded with rage that just needed one little more push to kick you off the eruption. And Carol gave that kick to you, with one small sentence. ”And considering what he’s done in the past he got better than he deserved.” A dull but loud sound echoed through the air as your fist meet her jaw, fast and hard enough to make her stumble back for a moment while your hands were already wrapping around her throat, not tight enough to choke her but tight enough to get a hold on her to push her into the nearest wall. “Considering what he’s done?!”, you screamed, your hands still wrapped around her throat as you glared wide eyes down at her,“What he’s fucking done?!” For the first time she didn’t say anything, her eyes were staring into the emptiness, unwilling to meet yours at first before your grasp tightened just enough to finally make her look into your face. “He saved our fucking asses. He did the shit you couldn’t get done!”, you yelled, your voice still trembling, near before breaking and only held up by the anger that had finally found its valve,”All you’ve done lately is get people killed!” For the first time since you’d stepped into this apartment you saw a stirring in her eyes while your own started to fill with tears, blurring your glance as your voice kept screaming at her. “Stop with the fucking solo acts! Fucking stop ruining the lives of everyone around you!” Just then you slowly started to come back as the anger started to become replaced with the fear and sadness that simmered underneath the rage. Your hands fell of her throat as you stepped back, staring at your shaking right hand whose knuckles were flushed in a bright red from the lunge you’d taken at her. Sniffles started to fall from your lips as the first tears rolled down your cheeks, your emotions still so strong that they were keeping your whole body under control. “I’m sick of this”, you felt it rolling quietly from your trembling lips as more tears fell from your eyes and the build up frustration got the best of you. For a moment there, you were almost scared of yourself, of how much that anger had taken hold of you, of how it had pushed through your usual levelheadedness, something that hadn’t happened quite like this before but you’ve just had enough, of the constant fears, of the constant playing with Negan’s life and the hypocrisy that you had to face from the same people over and over again. You weren’t sorry for what you did. You were actually glad you’d finally put her in her place. Sniffing you looked back up, gulping thickly as you saw her leaning against the wall, staring at you at you, an odd mix of coldness and shock in her eyes as you reached for the map on the ground and glared one last time over at her. “I will come back with my husband and you’ll hold up to the end of the deal or I swear to god I’ll raise hell.” Fire was burning in the small fireplace of the cabin, lightening up the room that was becoming darker and darker with every passing moment. The flames ate away at the chops of wood, its warm light illuminating up the glass in his hands that was filled up with some whiskey he’d found tucked away in one of the counters. Shuffling over the small stool by the fire he tried to get as comfortable as he could, huffing to himself as his eyes swayed from Lucille that laid propped up against the wall next to the fireplace over into the flames. How the fuck did he get to this point? Where exactly did he go wrong to end up sitting here on that fucking hard stool that made his ass hurt, staring into the flames while the only thing that was there to keep him company him in these moments was that damn whiskey in his glass?

The sun was already gone and the dusk was starting to flow into the night when you found yourself walking away from Alexandria, a small backpack buckled around your shoulders and a hunting knife in one hand, the map in your other. Going out now was dangerous and you knew it but you couldn’t care less, nor did you have much of a choice. Staying was no option, you had to find Negan, better earlier than later and make sure to reverse whatever Carol had brought about. Fuck knows what else she’d told him that she might have withheld from you. You were still on edge, still completely filled up with tension that kept a tight hold on your body while you did your very best to stay focused and not run into a group of dead fucks. A shivering breath fell from your lips, turning into a cloud of steam the moment you breathed it out as you could feel the cold of the approaching night starting to sneak up on you, slipping underneath your jacket while your cold hands were clasping onto your knife. Moving up you flipped on the small pocket flashlight that was dangling on one of the belts of your backpack and moved the map to make sure that you were still following the right route. Squinting your eyes your glance roamed over the paper, trying to get a grip of it before you folded it back up, switched the flashlight off and slowly moved down the blacktop to follow a narrow, nearly overgrown path into the forest, hoping that the moonlight would be enough to guide you. Step by step you found yourself halting and looking at the map, catching your thoughts and worries feeding away at your concentration that in turn fueled the frustration that was still reigning within you. By now, you should have already reached the stream that ran closeby the marked spot on the map, but neither did you hear flowing water anywhere near you, nor did you know exactly anymore if you were on the right track. “Shit”, you grumbled to yourself as you stared at the map, half mad at the whole situation, half mad at yourself for not getting your shit together before the sudden sound of groans made your glance shoot up. In a knee-jerk reaction you shut the small light back off and reached for a tighter grasp on your knife, looking around yourself before you caught a group of six or seven walkers wandering through the woods. Squeezing your mouth shut you tried to stay quiet, avoid attracting the dead as you slowly stepped back, trying to let the shadow of the trees shield you from being spotted before you heard a loud crack as a dried branch broke beneath your shoe. “Damnit”, you whispered to yourself, gulping thickly as you watched the walkers turn their head towards you, snarling as they spotted your figure and started to stumble into your direction. There was no way you could take them on now without putting yourself too much at risk, in the middle of the night, with your head filled up with emotions that worked against your concentration and an exhausted mind that was trying to press in on you whenever it possibly could. This was not a fight you should take on, not now. Turning around you started to move further into the dark, trying to put distance between yourself and the dead to hide out behind a tree and wait for them to pass. The thick undergrowth made it hard for you to move quick and made you more careful to not trip and get yourself into even bigger problems. With every step it felt like you could hear the groans continuously echoing through the dark while your heart started to speed up again and pumped against your chest, so loud you could nearly hear it pounding in your ears. Glimpsing behind yourself you couldn’t see them anymore, enough for you to figure that they wouldn’t be able to see you either and with a bunch of more steps you moved to your left and rounded the nearest, thickest tree to brace yourself tightly against its stem to be out of view for the dead. Gulping thickly you tried to keep your fastening breath under control as your eyes kept on roaming over the dim lit forest, your position not allowing you to see any of the walkers but instead only hear them as they started to come closer. The groans got louder and louder, mixing with the sound of their shuffling steps as you kept your body tightly pressed against the tree and tried to calm your heavy breathing down, telling yourself that this was all you had to do until you could go back to searching for that damn cabin. For a moment, you could feel yourself tense up again as you heard them starting to pass you, merely a bunch of meters past your spot before their groans slowly started to become quieter, and were only a quiet sound in the distance a small while later. Finally, you allowed yourself to let out a thick sigh and close your eyes for a moment, trying to get your concentration back on and continue your search for the cabin. Pushing yourself away from the stem you moved forwards, trying to figure out how far you’d moved from your original spot as you walked as quietly as you could back into your old direction, still holding tightly onto the map and your knife before a gasp left your lips as you felt a cold hand grabbing your ankle and a low, nearly inaudible groan echoed through the air. The sudden grasp was harsh and strong enough to make you lose your balance and fall to the hard ground, a painfilled groan falling through your lips as the fall made a stinging pain rush up from your rump up your back. Panicking you glanced up, watching as a severely decayed walker tried to peel itself from the spot by the tree it had grown attached to, its nearly entirely destroyed jaw hanging from its skull along with its rotting tongue that kept it from making sounds any louder than a hum. “Shit”, you growled, kicking towards the dead to make it lose its grasp on your ankle while it suddenly lunged towards you as it detached itself with one last push from the moss overgrown tree. Gasping you could feel it landing above you, its dead hands grasping you as it tried to snap forward, its disgusting stench rising up your nose as you could feel your survival instincts kicking in and mixing with the built up frustration, as well as with the anger and the distress Carol had brought over you earlier. Glaring into the dead eyes of the walker you rushed your knife up, aiming for its head as you’d done it with thousands of walkers before, but instead of seeing the blade dig into its skull, the walker’s arm reached up in the very same moment and made the blade sink into its flesh while it kept on snapping at you. From one second to another the frustration filled your whole head again, fueling the rage that had never truly calmed down within you as you let out a frustrated groan and pushed the dead with all your strength off of your body. “Fuck you, you fucking asshole”, you growled out, ripping the blade out of the dead’s arm as you kept it caged beneath you, hearing its snapping sounds in the very moment you let the blade rush down with all of your strength into the rotting skull. But instead of stopping there you could feel the tension and all those pent up emotions taking you over, clasping onto you as as they filled your head and made the knife stab over and over again into the walker’s head while emotion fueled memories rushed through your head. The constant fear to lose Negan while he was gone, the happiness you’d felt to finally get a life with him you’d always wished for and now, having it nearly torn away from you again just because one fucking person would rather go on and try to fuck up your lives all over again instead of doing the bare goddamn minimum she’d promised to do. And now, instead of being cuddled up on the couch with Negan in your home, you were in the middle of the dark fucking woods, trying to smooth out the fucking disaster Carol had kicked off again, with no fucking clue where you actually were, hanging over a fucking walker that had nearly tried to kill your ass. Over and over again your knife rushed down into the skull, your mind anywhere but actually here, as pants erupted your whole body and made you shake while your heart pumped up your throat. And just then as you pulled your knife once more out of the destroyed skull you realized that you were crying again, sobbing actually as you fell back off the dead onto the ground and stared at what you’d just done. ”Fuck”, it left your trembling lips as you could feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears while more hot tears streamed down your face and blurred your vision. Sniffling you looked up at the stars to calm yourself down and avoid looking at the defaced corpse beside you, letting your glance move from one star to another as your heart and your breath finally started to slow down again. And just then, just as you couldn’t hear your heartbeat in your ears anymore, you could suddenly hear the soft rushing of flowing water nearby that made you prick up your ears. Scrambling to your feet you moved up and followed the sound, hoping that this wasn’t a sick game your mind was playing with you. Brushing your tears off your face you moved closer, step by step and careful to not get yourself into any other tricky situation until a burden seemed to fall right off your shoulders as you peeked through the trees and finally saw the flowing water glistening in the dim moon light. You’d found it, you’d fucking found it. And now, you just needed to find Negan. Time passed and he still didn’t have an answer to his questions and he knew deep down he’d never truly get them. A shivering breath fell from his lips as he stared into his emptying whiskey glass, closing his eyes for a moment as he pinched the bridge of his nose and gulped thickly. Maybe his wife wouldn’t even show up today here anymore, maybe something happened that made her stay longer at the infirmary and she didn’t even know yet about this whole thing. Regardless of what had truly went down she wasn’t here, and it was starting to eat away at him, just the bare thought of what she must feel as soon as she’d find out. She deserved that life they’d been living lately, that life that could come as close to that apple pie life as a life in the damn apocalypse could. She deserved every single part of it, regardless of it was merely being able to wake up in a warm, cozy bed in the morning or to lay outside in the garden to watch the sunset turn the sky into a ray of pretty colors without a worry in the world. But maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was on his way to pull the woman he loved once more into his misery. Shivering and clasping onto his glass he found himself glimpsing at Lucille, at the barbed wire and the broken wood that broke his heart all over again. He hadn’t been able to give her the life she deserved to live, and now the same thing was about to happen with (Y/N) too, all over again. Maybe he just didn’t deserve to have his happy end. He’d been such a fucking asshole, such a goddamn fucking asshole that never deserved for Lucille to put up with him the way she did after everything that had happened after he lost his job. He could still way too vividly remember the anger he’d felt after that asshole had gotten him fired, that goddamn asshole from that bar that had provoked him, snarled at Lucille and then came at him so he’d simply lost it and beat him into the ground. He could blame that fucker all he wanted for provoking him, for coming at him, for making him lose his job at the school, for suing him and making his Lucille pay for the fucking hospital bills because he couldn’t anymore, but he couldn’t blame him for the decisions he’d made after. Losing his job and being put on prohibition for this bullshit had made him fall into a deep hole, one that he hadn’t been able to crawl out from, one that had turned him into a fucking undeserving bastard. A bastard that hadn’t known how to get back on his feet. A bastard that had gone as far to cheat on his wife with her goddamn friend just to make himself feel appreciated in some sick way. A bastard that hadn’t gone to pick her up from her MRI because he was busy fucking said friend. A bastard that needed to see her throw the chemo brochures right onto the table in front of him and tell him she had cancer to finally turn his life around. He was still ashamed of himself, so fucking ashamed of the things he’d done back then and nothing, nothing that he’d done after had made him feel like he’d been able to make up for the shit he’d done before. Sniffling, Negan found himself shifting over the stool, his eyes filled with tears as he stared at the bat and felt his trembling fingers fumble on the glass in his hands, trying to distract himself from the memories that started to flood his head and torture him. He’d fought like hell to make up for the shit he’d done, he’d fought like hell to keep her going as this hell of a world had broken loose in the midst of her treatment, finding bag after bag for her chemo and teach himself how to administer it. He’d tried to keep her spirits high and brought her this bunch of wigs he’d found on a run in an abandoned shop, he tried his best to keep their generator going and free of the dead so they could watch movies even if killing walkers freaked the shit out of him back then, he’d tried to sing their song to her and hold her in the freezing nights that made her nausea usually worse. He’d tried to be a good husband. He’d tried to be the man she deserved and not give up even when things had taken their turn for the worse and that fucking generator had shut down in the middle of the night and made them lose the last bags of useable chemo supplies. He could still remember their last conversation that day, how she’d told him that she’d known about his affair all along, how she’d known that he’d stopped and never talked to her again after her diagnosis, how she wanted him to know that he’d made up for it and that he could stop pushing himself now. He could remember how she’d asked him to stay, how she asked him to give up searching for new chemo supplies and just be with her when she went. He could remember how she told him that it was time for him to move on without her and instead, do her fighting for her. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her and he couldn’t bear letting her go. So he went out again. It took weeks of searching until he found the medical RV of Laura and her father, and it took yet another run in with a fucking gang of biker pigs until he could finally drive home with the chemo bags and bring them too her only to find out that after everything, he’d been too late. She was already gone. ODed, with a bag over her head, a belt around her neck that tied her to the bed so she couldn’t lunge at him and “Please don’t leave me like this” written over the door. She’d killed herself while he was gone, while he was gone out there searching for supplies when he should’ve just listened to her. She shouldn’t have died there with that fucking plastic bag over her head, she should’ve been able to fall peacefully asleep in his arms and drift off into an eternal sleep. And after everything, he couldn’t even go through with taking her down, he just couldn’t bring himself to dive a knife into her and instead he ended up trying to stun his grief with alcohol until he took the last resort and set his home on fire, hoping it would take her down and fulfill her last wish. He’d always wanted to make things better with (Y/N). From the moment on he found himself falling for her he wanted to make sure that he’d make things right this time and again, he’d failed. He didn’t get to give her the life she deserved, instead, she was stuck with him for years in that cell, giving him more than he could ever give her back and each time he thought about it, it felt like god played a sick game with him. Here you go have a second chance at love, but beware, you won’t be able to do things right now either. This fucking cabin, this fucking situation was the living proof of it and he didn’t know how to cope with it, how to cope with the fucking possibility that he was part of the reason their life would be destroyed again after it seemed like they‘d finally been able to settle down into a more peaceful life. Wincing Negan could feel himself erupting in more tears as he felt the empty glass fall with a dull thud from his hands onto the wooden floor, echoing through his head as a whimper fell from his trembling lips as his mind drifted to something that had whirled through it far more than once during the last weeks. Something (Y/N) had said to him after he’d melted down and asked her how she’d been able to fall in love with him back at the start, something Lucille had said to him when he’d asked her in tears how why she’d put up with him even after everything he’d done. “I already saw the man in you that you are right now”, were (Y/N)’s words, so hauntingly similar to the words Lucille had told him this one night that it made a shudder run down his back any time he thought of it. How in hell did he deserve for two women to fall in love with him and see something in him that he’d never been able to grasp? How did he deserve for those two women to love him so deeply they’d stick with him through anything and never lose their faith in him? How the fuck did he deserve that? Sniffling, Negan looked into the flames, the fire only a blur of red and orange before he reached up to brush the tears off his cheeks and run his hand down his face to keep himself from losing it entirely. Trembling he dried his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, sighing deeply as he glimpsed back at the fireplace only to flinch up in the very same moment as he heard the squeaking wood door open behind him and heard the voice he’d been dying to hear for hours. “Negan?” Your voice was faint and careful as you said his name and stepped into the cabin, watching as Negan turned around from his spot by the fireplace with a relieved but still startled look on his face. “Hey”, you could hear him say, his voice strained and thick with emotion as he stumbled towards you and just then gave you a chance to see his slightly reddened eyes, the exhausted look on his face and the slight wetness that was still daubing his cheeks. But before you could say anything he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tightly into his embrace, cradling you against his chest while his trembling body pressed up against yours. You only hugged him back without saying anything yet, cuddling into him to finally feeling his warmth enclosing you after the turmoil that you’d been through until you’d finally found this place. And then slowly, very slowly Negan started to loosen his grasp on you, before he backed just enough away to look down at you and run his glance over your face, as if he was trying to check if you were fine. “Are you okay?”, it instead fell from your lips as you reached up to softly stroke over his wet cheek, a worried look pressing in over your face as he slowly started to nod. “I’m much better now that you’re here”, he mumbled, leaning in to press a soft, nearly delicate kiss over your lips before a small sniffle left his lips and you glimpsed for the first time away from him and through the room that was only enlightened by the small fire. Carol had truly given her all, putting two full baskets of Negan’s belongings into this cabin, along with his leather jacket that hung over a rocking chair by the windows and something else that suddenly caught your eye, something that leaned against the wall by the fireplace and nearly made you believe your mind was playing tricks on you. “What-”, it left your lips as you stared at the bat, furrowing your brows in utter surprise as your glance stayed stuck on it,”Is that Lucille?” A soft sigh fell from Negan’s lips as grasped your jaw gently, just enough so he’d get you to look at him before he gulped thickly and nodded towards the spot by the fireplace. “Let’s just sit down for a moment, okay?” Mere minutes later you found yourself sitting on a small stool next to Negan by the fire, listening to him as he talked about how this day had played out for him. How Carol had lead him into the woods, how he had gone back to the hill of the war to see if he could find Lucille and how she broke just mere moments after he found her. From moment to moment you could find your eyes hooked on the broken bat, still not quite believing that she’d been there all this time while you’d searched all of Alexandria for her, so confident in the thought that they’d actually hid her somewhere around town. “When did you find out?”, you heard Negan say, ripping your glance from Lucille and back at him. “Around sunset? I was longer than planned at the infirmary”, you said, gulping thickly as you shuffled a little over the stool below you,”Carter fell on a broken pipe and we just...we just took some time until we had him all fixed up and then when I wanted to go pick you up from the woodhouses...Daniel told me that you’d gone out with Carol to hunt earlier but that he’d seen her around again.” A thick sigh fell from your lips as you glanced down for a moment, shrugging your shoulders softly before your eyes met his again. “So I guessed you’d already be back home and when I got there I just found our closet open, with some of your stuff gone and that damn map on the dinner table”, you mumbled, nodding towards the map that laid along with the backpack next to your stool. “I didn’t take off right away”, you added, letting out a huff as the mere thought of it put some new tension right back onto you,”Paid Carol a visit before and I just-...I lost it.” With that, Negan’s brows perked up, half curious, half worried as you sighed quietly and shrugged softly. “I may or may not have punched her and pushed her into a wall...by her throat.” “You did what?”, you heard Negan say, something that could even come close to a chuckle fell from his lips as he still looked with perked brows at you, clearly waiting for you to go on. “Wouldn’t say I’m proud of it... can’t remember the last time I blew a fuse like that-”, you said, stopping yourself as you could feel yourself getting worked up again though you surely didn’t want that to happen now all over again,”But the things she said-...how she said them. She smiled into my damn face while she said it, so fucking demeaning and full of ignorance...I just-” “Yeah, can imagine that”, Negan said as soon as your voice broke off, nodding as he clenched his jaw slightly ,”Pulled the same attitude here.” “And then she said on top of it all that you got better than you deserve with this cabin here and it just clicked”, you said with another sigh, before a thick gulp travelled down your throat as Negan reached out for your hand to take it into his, squeezing it softly as you could feel your emotions starting to well up again. “After everything, you deserve so, so much more”, you said, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand while you could see Negan’s eyes softening,”You deserve the damn world.” With that, his reddened eyes started to fill back up with tears and a thick gulp travelled down his throat as his hand grasped yours tighter and a small sniffle fell from his lips. “You do, Baby...you do”, he choked out, trying to keep his voice up by all means as his glance feel in between the bat and you, his eyes blurred with tears as you shuffled closer towards him,”You do. Lucille did. And I-...I don’t know how I got so lucky to hit the jackpot twice.” It didn’t take more than that for your emotions to get the best of you again and fill your eyes with tears as well and boil all those feelings that had whirled through you back up, while Negan shook his head as the first tears fell from his eyes. “I just-...you put all these years up with me being in that damn cell, you went through so much pain because of me and for all these fucking years I couldn’t give you the life you deserved till those last two weeks happened and now whatever we just got is gone again and I-”, he sniffled, his voice thick with emotion as he shook his head and glanced at the bat, “I couldn’t give Lucille the life she deserved, I couldn’t even keep the world and that fucking cancer from hurting her and then-” Tears kept falling down his face as his eyes were hooked on your intertwined hands, sniffles falling from his lips as his grasp on your hand got a little tighter. “And then when I fell in love with you I just-”, he winced, a shaking breath falling from his lips as he gulped thickly,”I vowed to myself to protect you and take care of you no matter the fucking cost. I just wanted to finally make things right and instead I fucked everything up all over again.” You only shook your head, unable to say something as a thick lump started to grow in your throat again and you could feel yourself hurting just listening to him. You’ve had these type of conversations before but this time, with these circumstances it just hurt so much more to see him beating himself up. “All I want is give you that damn apple pie life. In that house, with movies every damn night, with dinners together, and someday with kids that can run through that house and play in that backyard and drive us crazy...and it fucking destroys me that I can’t..that I’m the fucking reason you can’t have that.” “That’s not true”, you shook your head as you felt the first tears roll down your cheeks, “We can have that and we will, also because you ripped your ass off for it. You’ve always bent over backwards to make me happy.” A shivering breath fell from your lips as you moved in closer, trying to ensure that he was looking at you as you reached out for him and cupped his face softly with your free hand. “Just because things didn’t always work out the way we wanted them to doesn’t mean that you made me any less happy and I don’t ever want you to think again that you failed at that...You’ve been the best husband I could ever wish for. I need you to finally believe me when I say that”, you choked out, sniffling as you gave his hand a soft squeeze,”Just as much as I need you to finally believe the things Lucille said to you. She told you you made up, you made sure to make her last months as peaceful and happy as you could within this hell of a world...so you don’t deserve to keep on beating yourself up about it.” Negan choked up as you referred back to the things he’d once told you, still holding on to you as you looked with tearful eyes at him. “I just need you to realize that as long as I got you I’m happy, no matter where we are, no fucking matter if it’s in a cell or a nice home.” You made sure to keep his glance, trying to make sure that your message reached him before your thumb swiped softly over his skin while you tried to swallow down the bigger lump that was growing in your throat again. “I’m so proud of you...I’m so damn proud of the man you’ve been for me for all these years”, you said, smiling through the tears at him as another sniffle fell from your lips and your eyes glimpsed at the bat for a short moment,”And I know she’d be too.” Tears glistened in Negan’s eyes as a shivering hum rumbled up his chest and he grasped your hand tighter, just as you kept on fighting against that lump in your throat to bring out the last thing you needed him to hear. “So we will take your things first thing in the morning and walk back to Alexandria and settle back down into that home where we two belong”, you said your trembling voice almost breaking off as you leaned in closer to him,”No one is going to take that away from us again. Not Carol, not Maggie, not anybody.” Slowly, Negan started to nod, reaching up to take your hand from his cheek to press a kiss over its back while your eyes fell on the bat that still leaned against the wall. “We can take her with us, y’know? Find a nice place in the house”, you said with a sniffle, only to slowly see Negan starting to shake his head. “I think...I think I need to say goodbye”, he mumbled, gulping thickly as his eyes roamed over the broken bat before they fell back on you,”She wanted me to move on without her and do her fighting for her...so I’m finally gonna do that...I’m gonna burn her and then..fuck then we’ll walk home and I’ll keep on fighting for our future. I think she’d want that too.” Slowly, you started to nod and felt Negan press another kiss over the back of your hand, still holding onto you, still shivering as he stared at the bat while it started to dim on you that this was something he had to do alone. He had to say goodbye on his own. So slowly, you moved up from your spot on the stool, loosened your grasp on his hand and instead leaned down to press a kiss onto his forehead while our hand caressed softly over the side of his face. “Just call for me when you need me back in here”, you mumbled as Negan visibly got tense before he started to nod, but still kept a hold on you for another moment, as if he needed your closeness a little longer to prepare himself. As soon as his grasp loosened and you knew he was ready you quietly moved out of the house and let yourself fall onto the porch’s stairs, where you soon heard Negan’s voice rumble through the air, still filled heavily with emotions but firm enough to not break as he spoke up. “I’m sorry that I left you...I was a coward. I couldn’t face the pain of losing you so I ran away...and then I made myself not feel anything because I didn’t want to feel the shame...I’m sorry that you went out like that, I should have been there. I’m sorry that I named a stupid baseball bat after you...and I’m sorry for the all pain I put you through...I still miss you”, you heard his voice say, so clear that you could hear him forcing himself to keep going even though he could barely hold himself back, so filled with emotion and pain that it broke your heart all over again. “I promise, I’m gonna do your fighting for you”, you heard him say, breaking at the end before the sound of rustling wood could be heard and you knew that he’d laid her into the flames. Only seconds passed until you heard him calling your name, the same shivering tone stuck in it as you hurried back into the cabin and watched him standing by the fireplace, with tears in his eyes while Lucille laid within the flames that slowly ate away at her wood. He was gulping heavily, new tears already falling from his eyes as you moved in to hug him tightly and felt him wrapping his arms back around you within mere milliseconds. “I love you, so much”, he mumbled into your hair, cradling you against his body while sniffles fell from his lips and trembles still shook through him. “I love you too”, you mumbled back, cuddling against him as he held tightly onto you and didn’t dare to loosen his embrace just once before another sniffling sigh fell from his lips. “I hope Lucille’s up there in heaven and has found someone who makes her just as happy as you make me”, Negan mumbled shakily into your hair, cradling you closer as you nodded softly against him, so touched all over again that you felt new tears welling up into your eyes. “I’m sure she has”, you mumbled, only able to bring these few words out before your throat tightened and made you voice break off again while Negan rocked you gently in his arms, keeping you safely locked in his embrace until the world finally started to feel at peace around you. Tomorrow would be a new day. Tomorrow would be the start of a new life as soon as you’d walk through Alexandria’s gates, defying any of Carol’s plans, defying anyone that still doubted you, defying your past to pave your way to the future that you both wanted. You would keep on fighting for it, side by side like it you’d always done, and how it would always be. You and him, an unbeatable team.

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kur0m1bab3 · 3 years

Text

A Bittersweet Miracle

BokutoxBlackFem!reader

3rd person POV

Cw:Angst fluff, slightly mature, mentions of pregnancy, college!Au

Unedited

"Well what does it say?" Akaashi asked curiously craning his neck a bit to try to glance at the plastic stick set in y/n's hand.

Y/n looked away biting her lip as she blindly handed him the pregnancy test.

"Two lines means positive right?" The older male asked as y/n stayed silent nodding her head as she kept her gaze fixated on the brown wooden floors of her kitchen.

A soft smile graced Akaashis face as he walked over to y/n leaning down a bit.he poked her cheek lightly as she puffed her cheeks out, desperately trying To keep her gaze on the ground only for her to crack a small smile at Akaashi's constant poking.

"There she is" Akaashi smiled pulling y/n into a warm embrace. Y/n sighed into the hug as Akaashi pulled away.

"I'm gonna be a god father" Akaashi said happily as y/n laughed.

"Mhmn you are" she smiled.

Akaashi pulled away from y/n as he looked at her for a while as he lifted an eyebrow.

"You don't seem too happy?" Akaashi said as y/n shook her head.

"I am...m'not sure how I'm really supposed to react though..I mean I cried when I found out I was so happy.......but my kid is going to grow up fatherless so I'm kinda ya know...out of it" y/n spoke truthfully as Akaashi nodded.

"You going to tell him?" Akaashi asked as he began to grab pot and pans from the cabinets, probably about to make a celebratory meal for the mother to be and the others planning to come over.

"Don't know. Part of me wants to the other part of me doesn't" y/n said sitting on the island stool as Akaashi hummed looking at her.

"Y/n you guys were together for more than a year and a half...not to mention you guys lived together for most of your college career.....He deserves to know" Akaashi spoke out as y/n bit her lip looking down.

"I know...but,we broke up for a reason" y/n said as Akaashi clicked his tongue looking at the younger girl.

"You mean you broke up with him" Akaashi said putting an emphasis on you as y/n waved Akaashi off.

"It was mutual" y/n said rubbing her stomach softly smiling. Akaashi put down the wooden spoon he had been holding as he walked over to the island y/n was sitting at.

He leaned on the island as he looked at y/n intently.

"Bokuto never wanted to break up it wasn't mutual" Akaashi said sternly as y/n bit her lip looking away.

Kotaro Bokuto. The love of y/n's life that just so happened to be her ex. The pair had know each other for years, their history together going back all the way to middle school. They had always been attracted to each other, no doubt about it.

The cute smiles they gave each other during gym, or the extra chocolates teddy bears they'd give one another on Valentine's Day, the way y/n would wear his jersey to games, it was honestly all too obvious.

Once their 3rd year hit, their attraction to each other grew almost unbearable leading to the faithful Halloween night the two hooked up in the closet of their friends kuroos house.

Wasn't the ideal place considering the two teens got caught by a group of 5 pestering boys from differing schools, they just So happen to call friends, just as they reached their climaxes. The two never being able to live down the embarrassing ordeal and a rule set in place by the one and only tetsuro kuroo,stating that the pair had to be no closer than 8 feet away from each other in his house.

Clearly that rule was broken a few times, but what doesn't kill kuroo will only make him..make him...who knows honestly.Besides the point by some miraculous twisted miracle the close knit friend group ended up going to the same college together.

Their living arrangements was an interesting one. Of course all of the boys wanted y/n to live with them, they were all like a horde of bodyguards, it could be quite annoying at times having a group of guys tell an adult woman to go put on sweats in 100 degree heat instead of wearing shorts,but that's what you get when you surround yourself with a bunch of guys who were like brothers.

None of the boys wanted y/n to live alone, especially with a roommate. They hated the idea of her spending all of her time with someone she barley knew(mainly oikawa). Which is how they came up with the idea of pairing Bokuto and y/n to live together.

Was it the best idea to pair up two people who had clear sexual history and extreme feelings for each other? Maybe not. Did it happen? Of course it did considering who the boys were and how they wanted to play match maker.

The living arrangement lead to some interesting encounters. Eventually the two finally got together. It wasn't easy considering y/n was very stubborn and Bokuto was just too shy(ironic right?) to admit his feelings towards the younger girl.

Their personalities were an interesting pair.

Y/n was more on the introverted side, never really showed her emotions and kept to herself for the most part. Sarcasm was a second language to her, there was never a moment she didn't have someone rolling in laughter due to her quick wittedness or outright weird behavior.

Bokuto on the other hand was quite different. A clear extrovert who never failed to brighten up the room. His bright character was always a joy to be around, never quite knowing what he'd say or do leaving a kind of mysterious and almost mischievous aura about himself.Much like y/n he kept his emotions to himself and hid how he really felt, which proved catastrophic or their relationship.

The two loved each other so much it was kind of sickening to be around. The constant loving stares of sneaky kisses caused the other to normally cringe or throw pillows at the pair telling them to get a room. But much like the great sonatas of masterminds like Beethoven or Mozart, the beautiful pairs relationship,had a grand crescendo and a beautifully haunting decrescendo.

They were just bad at relationships. Mainly due to the lack of emotions between the two, and by that I mean the hiding of emotions. Their communication skills were way off, neither one of them knowing how to confront the other when they seemed to be at rock bottom which caused a huge rift in their relationship.

"Bokuto we need to stop seeing each other....we b-broke up a month a-ago"y/n whimper out softly as Bokuto continued to place light kisses along her neck.

Bokuto squeezed her waist tightly pushing her deeper into the wall as he pulled away from her neck meeting her eyes.

His eyes were glossed over, lust and sadness swimming through the cesspools of his golden irises as he breathed heavily.

A frown sat on his face as he shook his head, his slightly fallen hair tickling y/n's forehead. Y/n always thought his hair suited him so well. He looked so wild and young it made her knees buckle a bit.

".....just...let me have this..." Bokuto whispered against y/n's lips. That's all it took for y/n to attack Bokutos lips earning a small moan of admiration from him as he swiftly picked her up bringing her into their once shared bedroom.

The room was dark causing y/n's vision to completely cancel out making her hyper aware of her surroundings. Bokuto gently placed her on the bed kissing her cheek softly.

Y/n scrunched her eyes in confusion as she felt tiny droplets of water hit her face. She gently wiped her face as she tried to figure out the source of the water.

The moonlight from the night sky shined brightly into the room, as y/n fixated her eyes on the male hovering above her.

Bokuto had his eyes closed tightly as tears ran down his face continuously. He held a pained expression on his face as he visibly began to shake, his breathing speeding up as he sobbed quietly causing y/n to freeze all her actions.

Bokuto opened his eyes looking down at the girl beneath him. She looked at bit concerned mouth slightly agape,but more so shocked as tears hit her face from above. The pained look on Bokutos face caused y/n to well up with tears as well as the pair stared at eachother tears rolling down their faces.

They couldn't tell you what it was that caused them to do this, but their lips collided once again as their tears and lips synched together in perfect harmony as clothes began to be discarded at an unholy speed.

Bokuto leaned up as he caresses y/n's face softly, tears rolling down both of their faces as he smiled weakly, knowing this would be the last time the two ever got to experience the touch of each other in such an intimate and close way.with that Bokuto began to cry harder as he looked down at the love of his life.

"I love you" he whispered as he silenced both his and y/n's sobs with a kiss that set the mood for the entirety of the night. Slow, passionate and heartbreaking.

That's faithful night was two months ago. Y/n only finding out about her sudden pregnancy a month after their encounter.

"....we needed to break up..what happened happened" y/n said shrugging as Akaashi sighed running a hand down his face.

"What happened is that you broke up with him because for whatever reason the two of you couldn't talk your feelings out like adults. And like a love sick little puppy Bokuto agreed because he'd do anything to make you happy.you guys broke up but continued to sleep around to try to fulfill the heavy feelings you two still obviously have for each other and now you're pregnant with your ex's kid" Akaashi said truthfully as y/n frowned.

"Jesus next time sugar coat it a bit will ya?"

Y/n said standing up going over to the pot that was currently on the stove boiling noodles.

Akaashi swiftly pushed y/n away as he looked at her.

"How long have you known ?" Akaashi asked as y/n leaned back onto the kitchen counter.

"A month..I didn't show symptoms right away, that is until I missed my period and started throwing up in the middle of the night." Y/n said as Akaashi looked at her then her stomach before placing a hand on her stomach gently.

"Are you now just starting to show?" Akaashi asked as y/n nodded lifting up her shirt a bit.

"You can barley tell it just looks like I'm bloated" y/n said making a face as the sound her front door suddenly opening caught the twos attention.

"Akaashi? Y/n?" A voice said as y/n peeked her head around the coroner. She smiled bright seeing kuroo and konoha at the door taking their shoes off.

"I'm the kitchen" y/n said as she hopped on the counter. Footsteps were heard as the two men appeared in the kitchen.

"I can never understand how your kitchen looks so clean all the time. It's like you never cook in here" konoha said as he made a face lifting up the top of the pot that the noodles were boiling in, only for him to get slapped in the head by Akaashi, earning a loud ouch from the younger male.

"It's called cleaning aki" y/n hummed as kuroo walked over to the group of adults.

"Akaashis cooking....so whats the occasion?" kuroo said propping an elbow up on the island looking at y/n as konoha nodded.

"Yeah last time Akaashi cooked was when he bought those ugly ass sugar gliders home from the pet store" konoha said making a face as Akaashi turned around kicking konoha in the shin causing y/n and kuroo to laugh.

"You not bout to sit here and disrespect them in my face. You better be glad we in y/n's house or else I would've kick yo ugly ass" Akaashi sneered as konoha flicked him off.

Y/n grabbed the pregnancy test from off the the counter as she held it up.

"I'm pregnant" y/n said smiling handing kuroo the test as both boys stared at the test wide eyed.

"Seriously?!" konoha shouted as y/n nodded. He quickly picked her up squeezing her tight as he hugged her.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" kuroo yelled grabbing y/n from konoha as he hugged her tight.

Y/n laughed as konoha hid his face in his hands as he began to cry.He tetsuro, atsumu and oikawa were all such cry babies . Y/n laughed a bit already knowing how overdramatic atsumu and oikawa would be once they found out about the pregnancy.

"I can't believe this" konoha said smiling widely as y/n laughed.

"Y'all are both so overdramatic" y/n laughed as kuroo began dancing around the apartment.

"Overdramatic?! That's my god child you're talking about!" kuroo scolded as he walked up to y/n hugging her once again.

konoha sniffed a bit as he looked at

y/n,realization hitting him like a truck as he stopped crying looking At y/n intently, before sighing a bit laying his head on y/n's shoulder.

"Y/n....it's Bokutos isn't it?" He asked wiping his tears as y/n sighed. A small smile on her face as she looked at the boys sadly.

"Yeah..it is.."

A/N: I hope y’all like this🧍🏾‍♀️FIRST TIME KINDA NERVOUS🤪

#anime x black!reader #haikyuu!! x black reader #black reader #haikyuu!! x poc! reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #kur0m1.writes

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fific7 · 3 years

Text

Dangerous and Divine - Part 14

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

She’d find some excuse about missing evidence or statements to call him back in, or something along those lines. He was too good a catch to let him escape, and she wasn’t prepared to allow that to happen. And Dinah Madani, as anyone who knew or worked with her soon found out, was one very determined lady.

The weekend following the op, Dinah had literally just sat and wallowed in her apartment, several bottles of wine, takeout and the TV being her only companions. She stewed and stewed about the Russo Situation, as her mind categorised it. She really wasn’t going to let this lie, she was the one who should be with him.

By Wednesday morning, Dinah was sitting in her office scrolling through various witness statements again on her laptop, tapping her pen impatiently on the desk as she did. She’d spent the last two days scrutinising them.

Her mind was working overtime, trying to come up with a plausible excuse for calling Russo back in. It had to be cast-iron, otherwise her co-workers and possibly Russo would smell a rat. She started reading through an eyewitness report from just prior to the shooting; this one might do, as it mentioned seeing Russo (‘tall guy in a black army outfit’) raising his gun just before one of her team had actually shot the guy. She might be able to say she needed him to go over his exact movements at that point, as she didn’t think it had been described in micro-detail in his own statement.

Her internal phone rang, and she grabbed the receiver - it was her boss, the Special Agent in Charge or SAC. “Sir?” His gruff voice sounded annoyed, “Can you come to my office, please?” She frowned, “I’m just going over the -“ but he cut her off, “Now, Madani!” “Of course,” she replied, putting the phone down and getting up from her desk. What’s got his panties in a bunch, she thought as she left her office and headed along the corridor to his.

She knocked and heard a terse “Come in!” and entered his office. One look at his beetroot face made her wish she’d been out on a call somewhere. His blood pressure only ever got this high if some really big boulder of shit had come rolling down the hill and dropped on him.

“Siddown,” he grunted, and waited until she was sitting opposite him. He heaved a big sigh, interlacing his fingers as he placed his hands on the desk in front of him, then stared across at her.

“Dinah... I’ve received two official complaints about you.” She gaped at him. Definitely hadn’t been expecting that.

“What? Who from?!!!” she demanded. He exhaled a breath; even he’d noticed Dinah’s ‘heart-eyes’ for this guy. She wasn’t going to like this.

“Billy Russo, and a friend of his.”

“Oh, let me guess!” She said a name, “That’s his ‘friend’, isn’t it?!” He nodded, “Yes. They both allege that you acted in an unprofessional manner during the case which has just been closed.”

“Unprofessional, how exactly?” she questioned him. His beetroot face went an even more vibrant shade of red, and he cleared his throat, “Russo alleges that you made unwanted sexual advances to him, and that you... uhhh, you engaged in an act of voyeurism while he was having sexual relations with his girlfriend.”

Dinah felt a flush spreading over her face, and she huffed out a breath. “And her? What did she have to add to the mix?” He held her angry gaze, “She said you carried out a totally unnecessary interview with her, solely to obtain information about her relationship with Russo.” She couldn’t stop herself from spitting out, “Huh! Relationship!”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “Dinah, you do seem to be rather more.... interested in Russo than the casework would require? Did you engage in a personal relationship with him during the course of the case?” She crossed her arms over her chest, “No! Well, yes.... to an extent! He took me out for lunches a couple of times and drinks one night, but that’s as far as it went!” More’s the pity, supplied her brain.

“Well, Dinah, I can’t sweep this under the carpet I’m afraid, as they’ve made the complaints official. Their statements have been made and filed with Professional Standards.”

Her eyebrows rose, and for the first time, a sliver of trepidation made its way into her mind. “I see. I didn’t realise it had already been fast-tracked to them.” He shook his head, “Not fast-tracked, Dinah - just following standard procedure. They came in to speak to PS yesterday, and they’ve just contacted me as your line manager to make me - and in turn, you - aware that the complaint’s been filed.” She chewed the inside of her lip; she was having a hard time getting her head around the fact that only two days after he’d come to the final briefing, he’d returned to the office and filed this complaint.

“PS will be in touch with you to arrange a formal hearing to investigate the complaint. They’ll give you a copy of the statements made, and you’ll be able to have an advisor with you.” He looked down at his hands, before meeting her eyes again, “I’m sorry this has happened, Dinah, but it has and things have just got to take their course. I’m not going to suspend you but for the moment, until this is resolved you’ll be on desk duties only.”

Her mouth tightened, but she gave him a brief nod and managed to say almost civilly, “Yes, sir.” He leant back in his chair, “Okay, that’s all for now.” She got up abruptly and left the office, making sure she didn’t slam the door. Although she really, really, wanted to.

She walked back to her office, this unexpected development turning over and over in her mind. She carefully closed her office door, but then kicked her desk viciously, her anger boiling over. This was obviously her idea, thought Dinah, it’s got to be! She just didn’t see Billy as a complaint-filing kinda guy.

Well, his little lady friend would soon find out she picked the wrong woman to fuck with!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy’s eyes opened slowly, and he stretched his arms and legs fully out, yawning. His right hand met empty space - he was by himself in the bed. He sat up and pushed the covers back, leaning over the side of the bed and grabbing his boxer briefs off the floor.

He got up and pulled them on before wandering through to his living area.... ah, there she was. Making coffee and toast for them. Moving silently up behind her like the sniper he was, he grabbed hold of her then burst out laughing as she gave a small shriek.

“Russo! You sneaky bastard, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” His mouth went to the spot behind her ear and he placed a small kiss there, before suddenly licking the entire side of her face. “Russo!” she yelled again, but he heard a small laugh at the end of it. “Mornin’, angel.” He started peppering kisses all over her face and neck, and she laughed again, “Do you want this coffee or not?!” and then just managed to grab a slice of the toast as it came flying out of the toaster. He grabbed it out of her hand and started looking around for the butter and a knife.

“Yeah okay, sweetheart, let’s have our coffee an’ toast. It’s just I didn’t get my Thursday mornin’ kiss when I woke up,” he pouted over at her. She grinned at him, “Oh my god, you know you really are the sappiest of big saps! I’m just not gonna stop calling you out on that. Big bad Marine, yeah right.”

He reached for her and crushed her up against the the worktop, kissing her ferociously and running his hands all over her. He could hear her making little mewling sounds so he upped the ante, sliding his briefs down with one hand, then grabbed her hips and boosted her up onto the counter. He pushed her long t-shirt (actually his t-shirt) up over her thighs and slid his hard-on inside her. He felt her legs wrapping themselves around his waist, pulling him closer to her and settling him in. Billy closed his eyes, head going back at the feeling of being sheathed inside her. He felt like he was losing control of himself, he wanted her so much. He began thrusting, wildly, pushing deep inside her - his brain told him he was going at it like a teenage boy on his first sexual adventure - but he couldn’t stop himself.

Suddenly, he felt himself releasing and gave a long disappointed groan, his forehead dropping onto her shoulder. “Uhhhh... no,” he groaned again, kissing her, “Sorry, angel - got too excited. Couldn’t hold it.”

She leant forward and kissed him, “No need to apologise, tiger... happens to the best of them.” He frowned, “But not to me, sweetheart,” stroking her hair back and kissing her eyebrow, “that’s a first! What are you doin’ to me, woman?!” He had seriously never come so quickly in his life. Thinking back to when he lost his virginity - 15 years old in the group home with one of the older girls - he remembered that even then he’d lasted longer. Not much longer, but still.

He smiled at her, “You know I think I am whipped,” he said, laughing.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Laughing back at him, she jumped down off the counter and ripped a couple of paper towels off the roll next to the toaster. Dampening them under the tap, she handed one to Billy and they quickly cleaned themselves up. He eased his briefs back up over his slightly damp thighs, and noticed she was going through the lower cupboards. “What’ya lookin’ for, sweetheart?” She opened another cupboard door and peered inside it, “Clorox or whatever....” He opened the cupboard door under the sink and took out a spray bottle, handing it to her with a raised eyebrow.

“Gonna disinfect yourself, angel?” he smirked at her, “I mean I know what my rep was like in the past, but I always wore a condom.” She smacked the bottle against his butt, “Just the countertop, honey... we’ve just had sex on it if you recall!” “Owww! Ahh...okay, right,” he nodded, and she grinned back at him, “I can see I’ve still got some house-training to do for my puppy.” He mock-frowned and smacked her ass lightly, “Not a puppy, sweetheart!”

“I don’t know why you object to that, Billy - puppies are cute!” He popped the toast slices back in the toaster to reheat them a bit, “Puppies piss and shit all over the place and dry-hump people’s legs!” She burst out laughing, “Wow! I didn’t realise you were so puppy-phobic, Russo!” “I’m not! I just don’t want to be compared to one,” he protested. She finished spraying the counter and wiped it all down.

Leaning up, she kissed him softly, “Oh okay... Hurt Male Ego alert!! What d’you wanna be, poppet... a tiger?” She went back to attending to the coffee. “Well, you did call me tiger earlier, so yeah - I can live with that,” he grinned. “I might just call you poppet.” He nudged his shoulder against hers, “You’d better not.” She brandished to coffee pot at him, “Try and stop me!” Just then, Billy heard his phone chime in the bedroom with a new text message.

He strolled back through there and picked it up, his mouth pulling into a line as he saw the sender’s name.

Dinah: Russo, I don’t know what game you think you’re playing, but I want to speak to you about this complaint you’ve filed.

Russo: I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Dinah: You owe me an explanation.

Russo: Do I? And an explanation about what? It’s quite straightforward.

Dinah: No it isn’t. You meet me tomorrow at the Chelsea Piers, 10 AM. Then you’ll be nice and close to your little girlfriend and you can go running back to her afterwards.

Ouch, thought Billy, someone’s still jealous.

Russo: OK I’ll meet you for a 5-minute talk and that’s it.

Dinah: And keep this to yourself, Russo.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy walked back through to the kitchen, tapping his phone on his chin as he went, deep in thought. Did he tell her about this, or just keep quiet? He couldn’t work out why Madani was so insistent on an actual meeting. His gut told him nothing good could come from this, he just knew it. He wasn’t absolutely sure of the details, but he was under the impression that Madani should not be in contact with him when there was an active complaint against her. He’d better be damn careful when they met tomorrow.

She’d finished pouring the coffee and buttering the toast and turned to him with a wide smile as he reappeared, holding out a plate and cup to him, “Here you go, poppet.” He took them from her, smiling back and shaking his head, “Poppet! Do I really look like a ‘poppet’?!” he said, following behind her as they left the kitchen area. He leant forward and planted an open-mouthed kiss on her neck. “You look like a big sap,” she laughed back, “but a very sex-ceeee one in just your briefs,” and rubbed her body up against him, making him groan.

As they made their way over to his sofa, he thought to himself that maybe he’d just stay silent about it, his angel was in a good mood and he didn’t want to place a black cloud over the day. Both of them had decided to have a day off from work, he had plans for the two of them and he didn’t want to spoil it all. He made up his mind as he looked over at her, she was smiling at him and his stomach did a backflip as it had been doing a lot lately.

Yeah, he’d just not mention it.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead

#ben barnes #billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine

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citadelspires · 3 years

Note

P1-Looking at how great your posts on how Anne,Sasha,&Marcy would interact with both the Duck nephews and Team Magic, I thought I may as well do one on them interacting with Owl House kids and add Sprig & Polly in there too to even it out. Who do you think the Calamity trio, Sprig, and Polly would get along with the best individually between Luz, Amity, King, Willow, and Gus? I'd assume Luz with Marcy (both fantasy nerds), Amity with Sasha (both not so good friends and maybe not so good parents)

First off, thank you I'm glad you enjoyed my posts about the duck crew! Secondly, I am so sorry it took so long to get to this ask, given how much I loved doing the stuff with the duck kids and amphibia girls the first two times around, these types of asks are my absolute favorites to get, so I decided to wait till I had the time to really put some thought into it and give it the response it deserves! That being said, lets get to it! (rest of the post under the cut cause wow this is long)

Ok so I do agree that Luz and Marcy would get along splendidly but I am saving Marcy for later because I have plans for her, along with a few factors that lead me to believe there's some interesting fun to be had with another combination. While Marcy and Luz both share the "enamored with another world" aspect, Marcy's approach is to enjoy diving into studies and making herself useful on commanded missions and such. Luz can't study for longer than a few minutes at a time, and while she's always down to help her friends, she's also perfectly content causing chaos in the home of a known criminal. However, there is a character from Amphibia who loves to engage in the daring adventure side of the world of amphibia, diving headfirst into whatever trouble they can find, regardless of how much they do or do not know what they're getting into.

Luz is a perfect match to go on chaotic adventures and have massive amounts of fun with Sprig. Sprig, especially at the start of Amphibia, is always the one dragging Anne along on all kinds of adventures in the wilds of amphibia, and Luz is the driving force behind exploring the boiling isles and finding new adventures and places to see, exciting things to do. Whether Sprig ended up on the boiling isles or Luz ended up in Amphibia, I'm certain one of the pair would immediately ask if there were any cool and potentially dangerous places to explore, and the other would be the first one to take them up on it. Sprig would get the chance to see more of what the people from Anne's world are like, and Luz would get the chance to see a little glimpse of that "PG fantasy adventure" she was looking for in the first place. Overall the two of them would have so much fun together, on that I am certain.

Next up, I will admit there are probably better characters for each of these two to get matched up with, so this is admittedly a bit of the two being leftover, but I do think I can buildup a pretty solid argument for the pairing. Willow and Polly is a strange duo on the surface. Polly is bold, loud, and aggressive. Willow is calm, quiet, and gentle. However I think there's some potential there. I think Willow is a really great person to keep Polly out of trouble, in the hypothetical scenario Polly is let loose on the boiling isles that would be a complete disaster(for the isles, Polly would come out of a fistfight with the entire emperors coven unscathed) unless someone was there to reign her in. At first Polly might be a little reluctant to be looked after by someone who is just another kid in her eyes, but we've seen bits and pieces of Polly where we're reminded that, as aggressive as she can be sometimes, she's still just a kid. She's not immune to love and affection, and I think Willow is just the kindhearted, loving person to help Polly feel a little more okay with not always being the strong brave kid she tries so hard to be. As a little bonus I think it would be pretty great for Polly to think she's got Willow and her softhearted nature all figured out after some time only to be taken completely by surprise by the sudden realization the moment Willow uses her magic that "oh hold up this girl is insanely powerful." To be honest that might be a pretty great experience too for her to see that power comes in many shapes and forms. (A lot of the people who are able to fight in amphibia are more agressive about it than willow is so it would be new for polly). This goes double if Willow meets Polly in Amphibia because I mean have you seen how much foliage is in that world? Dear Lord Willow would be a god.

(it is at this point that I realize how long this post is gonna be, maybe I should go put a cut up there somewhere)

For the third pairing I will now reveal where I decided to send Marcy. I would absolutely love to see interactions between Gus and Marcy. Just imagine it. I would argue that Gus is the most curious and inquisitive owl house kid, as well as the most inclined to actually be constantly studying new things instead of jumping right into them. Gus is a dedicated investigator (perhaps too dedicated) and Marcy can absolutely get behind that. Beyond that I think Gus would lose his mind to find another human in the first place, let alone one who can probably recite all of human history off the top of her head. Meanwhile with Marcy, she would be absolutely fascinated by everything and everyone in the boiling isles, and I can just imagine right now that every time she had a new question she'd pose it to Gus and Gus would be like "I... I don't know. *excitedly* I don't know! Let's go find out!" cue the two of them rushing off to investigate:tm:. Also! More than anything else i want Marcy to help provide suggestions to Gus on how to improve/expand his tunnels under hexside because I NEVER FORGOT THE TUNNELS.

With only two pairs leftover y'all can probably guess who's going with who. Unless you can't that would also be fair. I am kinda throwing a curveball with Sasha's I suppose, but I think it actually works out pretty well. Sasha and King have incredibly similar ideas about just about everything. While I think initially King would try to order Sasha around and it would get on Sasha's nerves severely, once that toned down, the two of them would get along really well. Sasha wouldn't see King as a threat due to his size and overall lack of power, and King would just continue seeing Sasha as a very strong pawn, though not out loud so she doesn't yell at him. I mean, we've seen what King would act like provided he became a teenager and it's honestly pretty in line with how Sasha would take over and be in power. I can absolutely see the two of them conspiring to run the whole isle, whether or not those plans ever actually come to fruition, I think she'd develop a soft spot for him.

And finally, I think there's a lot of untapped potential with Anne and Amity. While Anne is more coming from the past of the person who got pushed around and Amity is more the one who did the pushing, the two of them have more to bond over than it would seem. The core concept at the depths of each of their characters, is a chance for them to finally figure out who they are and what they want to be. With Anne it's been Sasha's presence and her need to be socially connected at all times that drove her to have a messed up view of friendship (friends are there to do stuff for other friends, like an exchange for their love), and the feeling she should just be quiet and let everything happen to/around her. With Amity it's the constant pressure from her parents to let them define her along everything she does and all of her relationships. Both Anne and Amity are in a place where, after spending so much time missing out on the chance to form their own identities and become their own people, they're finally starting to realize they can decide who they are. They're finally going to find themselves, and it's gonna be beautiful.

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recurring-polynya · 3 years

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In tHiaM, Renji mentioned a fictional fateful encounter in which he and Rukia met in the circus. I can picture this deeply. The Rukon has circuses. It has gritty knife throwers, it has scrappy beast tamers, it has a lovely doe-eyed tightrope walker who does stunts so dangerous your hair'd turn white just watching her. It is for Renji's birthday so he should get Rukia being extremely badass and saving his life from a rampaging circus bear. Ideally, Kenpachi is there.

A lot of times, I’ll have some idea for a story, and I’ll do a bit of research and find out that the thing I wanted to do absolutely does not exist in Japanese culture, and I was completely sure that when I dug into it, Japanese circuses would not be a thing, or they would be extremely different from Western circuses, but as it turns out, circuses were absolutely a thing in the Edo era, and they had acrobats and strongmen and horseriding and more. I had so many tabs open about circuses, and almost none of it actually made it into this fanfic.

Anyway, THANK YOU ALOPEX, you know what I like to write, and what I like to write is Renji telling rambling stories of questionable veracity. I put in some lifting for good measure. This might be the most perfect Renji birthday story.

If it isn’t immediately evident, this takes place in the middle of the Advance Team Arc, or more specifically, in the middle of my Advance Team Arc story, See You on the Other Side, where Renji tells Chad a different RenRuki origin story that’s basically the desert bandit subplot from Crouching Tiger, and also a story about bees.

Read on ao3 | ff.net

🏋️‍♂️ 💪 🤡 🎪 🐻

Renji hefted the last bumper plate onto the end of the barbell and tightened the collar. Chad watched him with narrowed eyes.

“You sure you want to try this?” Renji asked. “One thousand pounds. It’s the weight limit for this bar. Once you beat this, we gotta go back to Urahara’s place and pick up big rocks.”

Apparently, Chad worked part time at his gym, which meant he had a key, which meant that he and Renji could go in at two a.m. so that Renji could teach him how to lift absurd amounts of weight with his reiatsu. It was pretty convenient, as long as you didn’t mind lifting weights at two a.m. Renji loved lifting weights at two a.m.

“You just don’t want to tell me another story,” Chad replied, flexing his shoulders in anticipation.

“Whatever, I got a million of them.” Renji took a few steps backward.

Chad flared his nostrils and stepped up to the barbell. He squatted down and curled his fingers around the grip. He took three deep breaths as he stared straight again. Leading with his hips, he straightened up in a smooth, textbook perfect movement, the sinews in his neck popping out, the air around him boiling with power.

Renji wished he could drag Chad over to Squad Six, so those spoiled weenies could see what hard work actually looked like.

Chad dropped the weight and a huge breath burst out of him, his eyes widening in relief. “I did it,” he gasped.

“You did it, buddy!” Renji shouted, pointing at the barbell. “You’re a machine! You didn’t even make it look hard!”

“It was hard,” Chad managed.

“I don’t believe it!” Renji continued. “One thousand pounds! You’re incredible, dude!”

“What do you mean, you don’t believe it? You told me to do it.”

“I mean, when I told you we were gonna work for the big one-kay, it was, you know, a stretch goal. I didn’t expect you to get there so fast!”

“You said you would tell me another story when I hit it! I assumed it was a reasonable goal.”

“I keep making unreasonable goals and you keep hitting them, so I’m just sort of winging it, now, t’be honest! I’m actually really bothered how much you are motivated by my dumb stories. If I had any human money, I would just offer to buy you tacos or something.”

“I can make my own tacos. I like the stories.”

Renji sighed. They didn’t have tacos in Soul Society and he was determined to eat as many tacos as he possibly could while he was stationed in the Living World. “Go get cleaned up, and I’ll put the weights away and try to decide which story to tell you this time. I did bring us some protein shakes. I can’t vouch for them, because they’re made out of stuff I found in the Shouten, but it’s important to get some calories in you after lifting. ”

“I’m sure they’re fine. I like your protein shakes. Oh, and I know which story I want to hear--how you met Rukia.”

Of course he did.

Renji was a man of many stories. He had so many good stories. He had Inuzuri stories that were full of mischief and dirtbaggery. He had Squad 11 stories that were full of headbutting and idiocy. He had interesting stories about his clever friends Izuru and Momo and funny stories about his goofy friend Shuuhei and horrible stories about his horrible friends Iba and Madarame. But Chad had asked him once how he met their mutual friend Kuchiki Rukia, a very reasonable and natural thing to ask, and Renji had responded with a ridiculous story that was very obviously not true. Now, all Chad wanted to hear was ostentatious lies about how he, Abarai Renji, had met the incomparable Kuchiki Rukia.

Renji racked his brain as he racked Chad’s weights. This would probably make the eighth or ninth Renji-Rukia origin story, he’d honestly lost count. He was running out of material. There was a bulletin board next to the weight storage rack, covered with flyers for a weightlifting tournament in Naruki City, the Karakura High kendo team, tumbling lessons. Renji stared at the picture of the girl in the sparkly leotard on the last one. He thought about how he and the gang used to make up stories of how they were gonna make it out of Inuzuri some day. He thought about Rukia’s absolute favorite, the one she told over and over, the way it got bigger and sparklier every time she told it.

Chad returned, a tracksuit zipped overtop his workout clothes. “Need help?” he asked.

“This is the last one,” Renji replied, hefting it up onto the shelf. “You can put the bar away, though.”

Chad did.

It was kinda nice, Renji thought, being in a gym in the middle of the night with Chad. It reminded him of hunching over his dorm room desk across from Izuru, cramming for written exams. It reminded him of achy muscles in a dim Fifth Company dojo, trying to figure out the mechanics of Zabimaru’s shikai deep into the wee hours. It reminded him of long runs with Ikkaku as the sun was just peaking over the city walls. The hours between dusk and dawn were a pretty good time for doing things, in Renji’s opinion.

“So, did you remember? How you met her?”

“Of course I remember!” Renji protested. “You think I would forget something like that?”

“You do get hit on the head a lot,” Chad rumbled gently and it took Renji a moment to realize he just got dragged. Chad was actually a really funny guy, you just had to pay attention.

Renji plopped down on a pile of mats and started rummaging around in his backpack for the two bottles of questionable nutritional substance he had mixed up earlier. “Well, I certainly remember the time I ran away from home and joined the circus, I’ll tell you that.” It was a good opening line, and he paused a few seconds to get the full effect.

“The circus?” Chad echoed skeptically, sitting down next to Renji and accepting his smoothie.

“The circus,” Renji replied after taking a long swig. It was very, very strawberry flavored. “So. I think I mentioned once that when I died I got sent to the shit-end of Rukongai. District 78 of the Southern Quadrant, where your best hope is to die soon and catch an express trip back to the Living World. I was too dumb and stubborn for that, though, so I was always on the lookout for a way out. Now, it’s pretty hard to move between districts in Rukongai-- it’s illegal without a special permit, see, and special permits get harder to get the further out you go. But there are a few kinds of permits that allow you to travel all up and down Soul Society, and one of those is for entertainers.”

This was more-or-less true. It was true in theory, but travelling shows never made it out to the deep Rukon-- there was no profit in it. Rukia used to swear up and down that a circus had made it to Inuzuri once, basically just passing through on their way to capture wild animals from the magical wilderness past the end of District 80, but she had seen it. Rukia was older than the rest of them, and she used to talk about it in such nauseating detail that they had no choice but to believe her.

“When I saw the posters plastered up all over town, my first thought was that it was an opportunity to pick up some quick kan as temporary labor. My primary job skill at the time was picking up heavy objects, you see, perhaps moving them from place to place. Circuses always need help with set up and tear down. I mean, do I look like a theater kid?”

Chad stared at him pointedly.

“I don’t know why I asked that,” Renji quickly corrected, “but also, keep in mind that I am Like This because I was in the circus, not the other way around. Anyway, my instincts were correct, and I found myself gainfully employed, carting crates and also tying and untying knots, another of my many talents. But then two things, or rather two someones made me decide that I needed to hitch my star to this ridiculous pageant. The first, I will admit, was a complete castle in the sky, but what is being an adolescent boy about if not chasing after hopeless dreams?”

Chad frowned. “Well. There’s school.”

“There is no school in Inuzuri, actually, and perhaps that would have kept me out of trouble, but instead, I became absolutely entranced by the glittering star of the show-- a tightrope walker of exceptional agility, grace, and beauty. Her most defining characteristic, though, was her audacity. There was no trick too dangerous for her. She somersaulted through hoops of fire. She juggled daggers. She’d stop halfway across the tightrope, pull out a tokkari, and pour herself a saucer of sake and drink it, while the audience gasped.”

“It was Kuchiki,” Chad guessed, the corner of his mouth tipping up into his shy grin.

“It was Rukia,” Renji agreed, “but imagine Rukia in head-to-toe spangles, with bells in her hair and glitter painted around her eyes, 20 feet in the air. She was unreal. She was an apparition, a spirit. I was desperate to meet her.”

“Did you?” asked Chad.

“Chad,” said Renji.

“What?”

“Did you just… did you just ask me if I ever managed to meet Rukia? Your friend and mine, Kuchiki Rukia? In the middle of this story about how I met Rukia?”

Chad thought for a moment. “It’s two a.m. and I just deadlifted a thousand pounds.”

“That’s fair, and the answer is yes, eventually, I did meet Rukia and she saved me from being eaten by a bear, but we’ll get to that. Are you drinking that protein shake?”

“Oh, sorry! It’s really good, I just keep forgetting because this story is a good one.” Chad took a long sip. “Hey, Abarai?”

“Yeah?”

“Sorry to interrupt again, but I have a question about the bear.”

“The bear is later.”

“Yeah, I realize that, but does the bear die?”

“Huh?”

“I’m just asking up front, because I don’t like stories where animals die, and if the bear gets hurt or dies, maybe could you skip over that part?”

“Oh! No, the bear is fine. Well, he’s probably reincarnated back into a living bear by now, he was pretty old even then. I exaggerated a little to make it sound dramatic, he probably wouldn’t have eaten me in any case.”

“Okay, you can go back to the story now, I just wanted to make sure. Thank you.”

“No, no, it’s cool. I’m glad you checked in.” Renji took a deep breath through his nose and mentally rearranged his story so that Rukia no longer defeated the beast in a dramatic knife fight. “Right. So, as I said, there was a second person at the circus who influenced me greatly and that was the most famous strongman in the entire Rukon, Zaraki Kenpachi--”

“Wait, Captain Zaraki? Big guy? With the bells in his hair?”

Oh, shit. “Uh, yeah. That’s a circus thing, you know. Hair bells. You, uh, know Captain Zaraki?”

“Yeah, Orihime made friends with him, and he broke us out of prison, but then we split up because there was someone he wanted to fight.”

“That sounds like him. Anyway, yeah, he’s in this story, too. I used to be in his squad, you know?”

“I gathered that from the way Madarame and Ayasegawa talk to you.”

“He helped me get in the Gotei, you see. Because of our time together in the circus. That’s a different story, though, we’re focusing on circus times, here. He wasn’t even the Kenpachi, yet, actually. One of the reasons he’s so strong is because before he was a fighter, he lifted things, heavy things. He did all the typical strongman stuff-- bending iron bars, biting through teacups, tearing packs of cards in half, but his most famous trick was balancing bamboo poles on his shoulders and then various acrobats and other performers would scramble up on them and do tricks from on top of him. He was wildly popular, pictured on all the posters. People would come to the circus just to see him. I did not have a lot going for me at this point of my life, but I was strong, and when I saw this guy, it occurred to me that if I could get him to take me on as some sort of apprentice, I might finally be able to use my strength to get out of that shitty town.”

“Seems like a good plan.”

“It did. It seemed like a good plan, except that Zaraki had a very busy schedule of getting drunk and napping when he wasn’t lifting things, and he was absolutely not interested in Inuzuri punks who had been hired to move crates around.”

“So, what did you do?”

“Well, speaking of Inuzuri punks, I may have been a fairly honest and hardworking fellow, but one day, a couple of my reprobate neighbors decided to sneak in and try to get a glimpse of some of the wild animals. The fellow who looked after the menagerie was a little guy by the name of Mameji. Very kind and loved the animals deeply, but not very good at standing up for himself. I barely knew him, but I don’t like bullies, and I owed most of those guys a punch in the nose anyway. Mameji was pretty grateful for the solid I did him and asked if there was any favor he could do me in return. Naturally, I asked if he knew Zaraki, but unfortunately, he was terrified of the guy, so I told him I was just happy to do a good deed and make a friend.”

“You should have asked him if he knew Rukia. Rukia likes animals.”

“You’re very smart, Sado, but remember that this story is about me, not you. It didn’t matter anyway, because the next day, he comes to find me and says there’s someone who wants to talk to me. I can’t imagine who he means, aside from holding out hope that maybe he did know Zaraki after all and was just slow-rolling me.”

“But it was Rukia.”

“It was. Mameji leads me over to the area where the animals are kept, and there, in a blue kimono embroidered with silver stars and crystals in her hair, was The Fearless Rukia.” Rukia’s circus stories were usually at least seventy-five percent descriptions of her outfits, and Renji felt obligated to keep up that detail. “‘You helped my friend out,’ she says to me. ‘I appreciate that.’ And I replied something very smooth and suave, like, ‘I like the way you do cartwheels’ or possibly just “Guuuuuuh.’ And then she says, ‘I hear you’re interested in Zaraki, what’s up with that?’ and as you know, I’m much better at talking about muscle stuff, so I explain about picking up heavy things and Inuzuri and my ambition to join the circus and she just listens carefully, nodding from time to time. She makes me pick up a few barrels and then Mameji, for good measure, and finally, she nods and says, ‘You’re pretty strong and I like your hair. Come back here tomorrow. I’m going to help you impress Zaraki.’”

Chad’s eyes sparkled with anticipation.

“So, the next day, I came back, like she said, and Mameji was there, too and they’ve got this big sack of yams. I’ve told you before about eatin’ in Soul Society, right?”

Chad nodded and belatedly took another gulp of his shake.

“My initial thought was that they were gonna try to bulk me up. Raw yams may not sound very exciting to you, but after years of living on near-moldy rice and the occasional sad vegetable or bony fish, I was watering at the mouth. ‘You’re gonna feed these yams to Sunny,’ says Rukia. ‘Who?’ says I. ‘His stage name is Brawler,’ says Rukia, ‘But he’s a good boy so Mameji and I call him Sunny. It’s a joke. Because he’s a moon bear.’ Brawler, you see, was the second scariest thing in the circus, right after Zaraki-- the biggest, ugliest moon bear you can possibly imagine, probably 200 kilograms. A lot of circus bears do tricks-- balance on balls or some shit, but Brawler’s only trick was looking mean as Hell. Sometimes they’d throw him a deer haunch and he’d eat it in a real gross way, I guess people like seeing stuff like that. I, like most people growing up on the southern border of the Rukon, had a healthy fear of large carnivores, but I had a much larger fear of looking like a weenie in front of Rukia, and I was determined I was gonna do whatever she told me to. The first time wasn’t so bad-- I just tossed the yams in and he snuffled over and gave me the hairy eyeball before snorfling them up. We did that the next day, too, but the day after that, Mameji took me into his enclosure to give him his yams. I was a little surprised, you see, because I would have expected a bear like that to eat meat or something like that, but he sure did like those yams.”

“Moon bears are omnivores,” Chad supplied. “They like sweet things.”

“You’re right, and I later found out that Sunny did get meat and other stuff at other times of day, but yams were his absolute favorite thing. Again, Rukia did not tell me this, because Rukia often neglects to tell me important things. I found all of this to be absolutely terrifying, and I probably would have given up and stuck to my crate moving, except that Rukia and Mameji were just about the nicest and amazing people I had ever met. They let me hang out with them for a bit and they told me stories about traveling with the circus and I told them about Inuzuri. They introduced me to their other friends, Fujimaru, who could do all sorts of knife throwing tricks, and Kosaburou, who had the most beautiful singing voice you could possibly imagine. By the time Rukia asked me to give Sunny the yams right out of my hand, I was doin’ it, not because I was desperate to get out of Inuzuri, but because I was desperate to do anything to stay with my new friends.”

Renji paused and pretended to be interested in his protein shake. Usually, he tried to fill these stories with a lot of daring-do and badassery, but he’d gotten a little off-track when had to junk his big exciting Rukia versus Bear fight scene. All he could think of was lying around the squat on miserable rainy days, one-upping each other with stories about their ridiculous circus acts. He hadn’t thought about those days-- hadn’t let himself think about those days-- in years. What a sap he was turning into. Maybe it was because Rukia was back in his life. Maybe it was because there was a war coming, a war he might not make it through. Maybe it was because it was two a.m.

“I know how that feels,” Chad said very quietly, so quietly that Renji almost didn’t catch it, and it occurred to Renji that maybe sometimes it helped to hear a sappy story at 2 a.m.

Renji snorted softly. “So, the day before the circus was set to pack up, Rukia explains her big plan to me. Up until now, I’ve sort of been assuming that this is all an exercise in building courage or some gonzo shit like that, but it turns out it’s very straightforward. Zaraki’s dream the whole time he’s been in the circus is to pick up Sunny as part of his act, except that Sunny has zero interest in being picked up and ends up chewing on Zaraki’s head every time he tries. If Zaraki had ever bothered asking Mameji for help, maybe he could have tried the old yam trick himself, but then this wouldn’t be much of a story.

“I wait ‘til the big guy is done with his nap and is prepping for the night’s performance, inventorying his lead pipes and such, and I go up to him and I say, ‘Zaraki the Great, I am very strong, you should take me on as your apprentice!’ Now, Rukia had seen people do this to him before, and she knew that he always came back with ‘Oh, yeah? Do something to impress me, then.’ Of course, I was prepared, and I said, ‘I am going to pick up Brawler, would that do it?’ and Zaraki laughs in my face and says ‘If you can do that, I will definitely take you on, kid.’”

Chad’s face had split into a huge grin and he leaned forward in anticipation.

“We go over to Sunny’s pen, and of course, Mameji’s already given him his dinner and he’s feelin’ real fat and happy when he sees his old yam buddy Renji coming. I slip him a yam that I had tucked in my sleeve and I start rubbin’ his side, which is a thing we’d been practicin’. He leans into it, ‘cause he was a big, itchy boy, and I just… flipped him and picked him up like a baby.” Renji made a scooping motion to demonstrate. Chad’s face absolutely lit up. “He was incredibly heavy and also he did not really like that,” Renji continued, “but I put him down right away and gave him another yam and he forgave me. Zaraki was laughin’ his ass off, but he kept his word and got me signed on as a Strongman-in-Training. We went on to have many more adventures, both me an’ Zaraki and me an’ Rukia an’ Mameji an’ Kosaburou and Mameji.”

“And Sunny.”

“Sunny continued to be a hideous, angry bear for the crowds, but I kept giving him yams and never picked him up again and we were great friends for the time we spent together in the circus.”

Chad sat back, smiling his usual inscrutable smile. “Thank you, Abarai. That was a really good one.”

Renji cocked an eyebrow at him. “Was it?”

“Yes. It had friendships and a nice bear and I felt like Rukia would really appreciate the effort you put into describing all her outfits. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t true, but it was a good story.”

Renji heaved a big sigh, as though he’d honestly thought Chad was gonna buy it this time. He stretched his arms and legs out in front of him. “Let’s go home. I could go for a few hours of sleep before the Shouten Shouting starts. You’re taking a rest day tomorrow, but don’t forget to stretch.”

“The last time I had a rest day, you came over and you taught me some stuff about reiryouku.”

“Did I?” Renji frowned.

“Can we do that again? You said you would try to explain how flash step works.”

Shit, he did remember promising that. He’d just gotten overenthusiastic because it was nice to be the guy who knew things for a change. On the other hand, he also remembered the enthusiasm of going to school for the first time and wanting to know everything, and could hardly fault Chad for the same. “Sure,” he agreed. “After noon.”

“Let’s make it noon,” Chad amended. “I’ll make you tacos.”

“That,” replied Renji, “is a deal.”

#renji's birthday 2k21 #my writing #chad-renji brotp #i honestly hope that over in soul society rukia shot awake #she gets a +2 to badassery every time renji tells a story about her

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

Text

OAKTOWN DOING ITS MAGIC

Marcus Álvarez x Filip “Chibs” Telford sister!Reader

Anon asked: Could I maybe ask for an Alvarez x reader were the reader is chibs sister and has a very fiery attitude and her and Alvarez are always at each other throats but theres something strong there and she will no problem wandering into Mayan territory much to her brothers warnings against it until it finally boils over with her and Alvarez and super fluffy and adorable and maybe smut? It's okay if not! Thank you so much for writing so wonderfully 💖

WARNINGS: NSFW, SMUT

Word Count: 2.9k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💖

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 @1-800-imagines @briana-mishell24 @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @angelxshiba @trulysuccubus ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Stopping by a side of the road, you step out of your car placing the map above the hood, having a bite of the red licorice in the other hand. You could use Google to find the dog kennel, but you prefer to explore it by yourself. Oakland it's not that big to get lost, but you want to be sure about the way you have to follow. Pointing it with a pencil, you have to focus your attention in the sound of a motorbikes coming. Rolling your eyes with a heavy sigh, you throw the candy before keep the map in a pocket.

“Do you need help, mija?” Marcus' voice sounds funny, walking towards you and being followed by three Mayans, after parking their bikes.

“Do I look like a damsel in distress you must save?” Cross-armed, you raise an eyebrow.

“Well, you are a little far from home”.

“No kutte, no motorbi—”.

“You are still a member of Samcro. You should have made a courtesy call”.

“Do you think I'm a hot line for your pleasure, Álvarez?”

The man chuckles falsely, turning for a second to his men, before pointing your car with his gun. One shot straight to a wheel. And two bullets right to the trunk and a light. That hurts more than if he had shot you down. Your heart racing too fast. Your blood boiling. And your fist hitting his face without controlling yourself. The man doesn't move a single inch of his body, more than twisting his neck because of the punch. A wild tear running down your eye, while the other Mayans are pointing you.

“You crossed the line… and you're gonna regret it”. You spit every word, full of anger.

And Marcus knows that he already fucked up when he raise his gaze to yours, watching you cry. No one cries for a car, unless it means something important to you. He was having a rough morning and listening about your visit without a call, just make it worse. You two aren't enemies, neither friends. Mayans and Samcro have a good relationship, but the shit between you and the mexican it's kinda strange.

Taking off your phone from a pocket, you key Ratboy' number by heart, squatting next to your car and touring every hole with your fingertips while your cry takes away your breathe.

“Hey… Could you bri—bring the crane to Oakl—Oakland?” You sob, trying to control it.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… I just…” Your cry get louder, and you can't help but resting your forehead against the trunk with a hand above it. “Don't tell Chibs, please… Just come. I am five miles from the entrance”.

“Ok, ok. Do you wan'me to call Álvarez? You shouldn' be alone there”.

“This… son of a bitch is already here”. You growl, hitting your head softly against the body car.

“Fuck… Give me an hour”.

Hanging up the call, knowing that the Mayans have their eyes on you and keeping the phone back to the pocket, you open the trunk to take a tweezers from the toolbox. Closing it and cursing with a strong scottish accent, you try to take off the bullets from it.

“Am sorre', athair… I'll fix it, I promise”. You mutter between some hard sobs and a knot installed inside your chest.

“Eh, I am so—”.

“Shutta' fuck up!” You shout at him, turning your body for a second. Even if he's trying to be gentle after what he did, you don't care.

When you finish your improvised task, you keep the bullets for Jax as a proof. Sitting inside the car, you decide to wait there instead of staying close to Alvarez, or you're going to end up hitting him again. And even if you asked Ratboy to come alone, you can't help but hit with both palms the steering wheel when you hear the roar of motorbikes riding closer. Stepping out of your almost dead car, you snort rubbing your eyes and cleaning the tears.

When Jax sees what happened, taking off the helmet, he raises both arms in silence looking at Marcus. Your brother runs to you, more worried about the fact of you being okay than because of the car. Chibs cups your face in his hands, leaving a kiss on your forehead before hug you.

“I'm sorry”. You just sob.

“Don' worre', lass”. He says placing an arm on your shoulders, before guiding you to both charters

“Man, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Jax looks furious facing Marcus.

“Bad morning. Knowing that a Sons' is at my territory, with n—”.

“Did you know why is she here? With no kutte, no bike, no protection?” The president interrupts him, pointing his chest once and again. “She works sometimes at the dog kennel, man”.

Marcus gives you a fleeting glance, snorting when he finds you being comforted by the older scottish. And his suspicions are confirmed by Jax's new words.

“Her father bought that car, ten years ago. Man, she loves it more than anything”. It's a whisper between them, making him see the gravity of the matter without relying on the fact that you could have been hurt.

“I'll take it to my workshop. I'm in charge, brother”.

“Don' ya' dare to touche't!” You shout full of anger then, trying to walk close to him, but being stopped by Chibs arms, and a Jax' hand raised to you on air.

“You better leave us take care of it, before I have to give her a gun to shoot your bike”. The Samcro's president shakes his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Send me the bill, alrai'?”

Jax nods, before letting them go passing you away with their motorbikes. The blonde man turns at you bitting is inner lip, as he pulls away his hair to his nape.

“We'll take you to the dog kennel, and then we'll go back to Charming, okay?” He says caressing your cheek softly, while you nod.

It's almost midnight in Charming. The town sleeps peacefully, while you continue trying to fix up the body of your car, after changing the flat tire. Finally, you have to use some putty to fill and cover both holes in it, having the perfect paint mix to finish the work. But when you're about to take the brush, the sound of a motorbike calls your attention, making you stand up on your feet to get out from the workshop. Rolling your eyes when they focus on the Mayans symbol, you turn again to go back to your main task. Yes, you feel some curiosity about what is he doing there, but you know you're not going to need to ask.

The heavy steps by the boots come closer to your ears, stopping a few meters away of your back, ignoring him completely. You've been a lot of hours trying to rebuild the holes, trying to find the perfect color by mixing the paint, and you're not in the mood to deal with Marcus. But this fact doesn't seems important for him, when he squats next to you and both dark eyes on your hands supporting the brush. Your fingers moving slowly almost like they were dancing a ballet. Hypnotizing him.

“I've brought you a truce and an apology”. He says with a low tone, not wanting to make you lose your focus. “Fifty thousands and a ‘sorry for being a pendejo’”.

“I have no price”. You reply back in a whisper, joking on him because it looks like a secret.

“It's not for you, but the dog kennel in Oaktown”. He's almost smiling, taking off from the pocket inside of the kutte a brown and improvised envelope. A bulky one.

You leave your task in the background, turning at him with both eyebrows raised.

“I have no excuse. And I'm so sorry because of what I did to your father's car”.

His words sound sincere, licking his low lip at the same time he moves his hand somewhat up making a clear gesture. Rolling your eyes, you take it standing up and leaving the brush inside the paint pot to grab the money. Your feet guide your body to the office, leaning towards the safe-box, so you can keep it inside. Once the box is closed, turning over your sneakers you find Marcus resting his left shoulder against the door frame, trying to hide that he was looking at you totally spellbound.

You're challenging him, maintaining his eyes with yours, crossing both arms on the chest covered by part of the jumpsuit. You know exactly what he wants to do, because you want it too, but you still mad at him. You two always have had that strange kind of connection like if you don't want to admit the attraction, not being only a physical game. Something stops you to be push into the other, and you don't really know why.

“You're no' a cat, and I'm no' a mouse”.

“I know”. He just replies, walking closer and taking off his kutte, to leave it on a chair. “How much are we gonna play this... stupid game?”

“I don't know, te'me, chicano��.

He chuckles, licking his lower lip and putting his gaze away for some seconds, somewhere on the white wall. You know how much he hates that name, but you love to tease him, even if you're trying not to keep in mind what he did to your car.

“Take off the jumpsuit”.

“'Am almost naked under it”.

“And the problem is...?

Drawing a naughty smile on the corner of your lips, you grab the middle of it, unzipping it so slow that he's starting to get desperate. Looking at you as if you were a piece of art, only available to his whim. When the cloth is already opened, you slide the fabric down by your legs, jumping a little from it. Marcus is enjoying the views, taking the advantage of placing a hand on your lower back, while the other travels to your nape. Your lips almost touching his, tasting that mix of cigars and mexican toast beer on them when the tip of your tongue tours them.

Your back finds the wall faster than you could think, catching you against his body, devouring your mouth hungry and anxious. Your fingers pulling up the black shirt he's wearing to throw it above the desk. His big hands taking off yours, before falling on the waistband of your panties. Uttering a soft growl full of pleasure, he walks away from you some steps, looking you from top to bottom as a hungry wolf admiring his prey.

“You like it, uh?”

“You don't know how much”.

His voice is deep, rough, hoarse, bristling your skin as soon as he catches you again on his arms slapping your ass when he turns you facing the wall. You need more. Marcus too. And the sound of the belt getting undone and his jeans being unzipped make your legs tremble. Without expecting he pushes his middle finger into you, checking how wet you are because of him, making you moan as your fingers get closed in two cuffs supported on the wall.

“You like it, mami?”

He whispers right in your ear fingering you faster and deeper, almost moving up your hips. Feeling every move as if it was the first, touching your soul with his warm breath on your neck, leaving some smooth kisses there and confusing you about the fact of his hand pushing you too angry while his lips are so gently.

“Fuck, yes…” You gasp resting your forehead between your hands, with closed eyes.

“You want me to fuck you, pequeña?”

“Yes, please, please, please, Marcus”. You beg uncontrollably once and again.

“You want my cock hitting your tight pussy ah?”

“Fuck… please…”

“You're gonna have it, mi reina”.

Pulling out the wetted finger and turning you to face him again, the Mayan puts a hand on your throat, sliding the other into your mouth. And you lick it, tasting your own flavor under his attentive black eyes burning in all the desire he has been containing. His lips crash on yours, kissing you filthy, and getting inside your mouth his tongue to find yours while his free hand throws down to the floor every thing is on the desk. You let him do with you whatever he wants, placing your chest on the table and spreading your legs to both sides ready for him. Teasing you with his needed glans rubbing your clit, you snort disappointed, hearing some laughs behind your back.

“You don't know how much I want you”.

“Fuckin' prove it”. You say desperate.

And you got it. Without expecting it, his cock pounds you so hard that your body moves somewhat forward above the desk, making you close your eyes with a heavy moan stuck in your throat and his hands nailed on your hips. Marcus moving fast, thrusting himself to you until his abdomen crashes against your ass. The dirty sound your wetness utters being hitted is like a sweet melody for your brain, feeling the pleasure running through your body, getting mixed between the gasps and the pleadings. Seems like he knows what you like, slapping harder your ass with one of his hands. The slight pain provokes you a wave of heat, asking for more.

It's been almost one year since you two met, containing the desire you were feeling for each other. The necessity for being close, alone, together. Enjoying your more animal instincts. Marcus tangles his fingers on your pony-tail, curving your back until his teeth bite your neck, licking and sucking it, wanting to mark his territory. His free arm surrounding your abdomen, thrusting you deeper reaching your g-spot as you cry out his name once and again, drying your throat, breaking your voice every time he nails his hard dick inside you with no mercy, with no wait. He loves every inch of your body. He loves every single thing he knows about you. He always wanted to show you since he met you, and know he's doing it in the most delicious way possible; fucking you as hard as you beg him.

“Mi amor, estás tan estrechita… You're driving me insane”. (My love, you're so tight).

“Cum inside me, please”. Twisting your neck enough to split it into his lips, he bites yours drowning there a soft moan.

“Of course, mi reina… This pussy is only mine, you hear me, ah?”

“Fuck, Marcus… Only yours”.

By your pulse you know how close your body is to explode because of the ecstasy, and the Mayan knows too.

“Turn, mi amor. I want to see your face”. He demands, pulling out himself, making you sob feeling the emptiness between your legs. “Sit on the desk”.

You don't need more words, doing it without complains. An arm surrounding your body, your legs on his shoulders and his free hand nailed around your throat. Then, you can see for first time his cock. Huge, wetted, needy for being inside you again. And it feels more delighted when he starts to fuck you again, in that position that makes you touch the sky with the fingertips.

His gaze maintaining yours at all times, seeing who you squirm under his grip because of the pleasure and his dick pounding you with the only mission of making you cum. Leaning towards you, Marcus kiss you again, looking for your tongue to fight it out of your mouths and leaving a small trail of saliva on air, before devour your mouth so hungry it makes race your heart.

“I'm… I'm so fuckin' clos', papi”.

Your voice is somewhat hoarse, with your knees almost touching your chest with every deep thrust into you and your legs shaking a little.

“Come on, mi reina… Cum for your papi”. He asks you with his lips on yours.

And it doesn't takes you more seconds after a lash of heat running down your spin. You cry out his name twice before you run out of air, feeling the orgasm wrapping your whole anatomy with the dirty sound of your wetted pussy being hitted without non stop. And Marcus filling you with his seed, exhausting, pounding you until he's satisfied. Your legs hurts a little when he puts them down, surrounding his waist. You push him totally inside you, with your bodies colliding, while he lies on your chest trying to recover himself. His lower abdomen pressing your crotch, finding your lips somewhat tired, but enjoying the warm of your cums getting mixed.

“It feels so good, mi reina”.

He whispers pinching your nipples, stealing you some gasps against his clavicle traveling your mouth by his neck leaving some kisses on it.

“Don' move, papi… I wan' you to fuck me again”.

He chuckles, nodding with his chin.

“Whatever you want, I'll give it to you”.

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #marcus alvarez imagine #marcus alvarez x reader #marcus alvarez

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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 3 years

Text

Me, throughout the entirety of 6x05:

And I suppose I could just leave it there but NO, we’re doing a LIST. Of all the excellent things from “Prom Night!”

SPOILERS!

AV Club reviewer giving this episode the first ‘A’ of the season: :D

AV Club reviewer still insisting that “Midvale” was filler: D:<

Forever destined to disagree with the AV Club reviews in some way or another...

Okay, so! We begin with a very helpful reminder from Alex that things are different, in this Post-Crisis World!

(I mean, on the one hand, am I slightly distressed that key aspects of the Pilot and the WHOLE of “Midvale” are now gone, along with Earth-38? Yes.

On the other, Kara remembers her lived-experiences of everything that had transpired in the Earth-38 timeline, so they still sorta happened and have informed her characterization.

So...it’s fine. It’s fine. This is fine.)

I do love that, ‘Kara punched a meteorite out of the sky’ is now a Thing That Happened, though.

(Well perhaps NOT ANYMORE but I’m getting ahead of myself.)

KENNY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!

“Scooby-Duo” listen, as someone who has already imagined all these kiddos in Hanna-Barbera cartoon style, running around Midvale, solving crimes and saving the day, I loved this description.

Alex being like, ‘DO. NOT. SCREW UP. MY PAST.’ ahhhhh we love to see that scary Older Sibling energy on full display.

And then Brainy and Nia are off to the past!

The only thing that could’ve made the utterance of ‘totes’ worse would’ve been the addition of, ‘magotes’. Thank goodness they exercised restraint in the writers’ room.

FORTUNATELY the terrible ordeal of reliving dated slang is offset by some truly excellent lines and line-reads throughout the rest of the episode.

For instance! Loved Brainy’s, ‘the perfect optical illusion’ and ‘off the dash, please.’ So great.

Other honorable mentions: ‘Damn it, Mitch!’ ‘That’s a LOT of exposure’ and I forget the line itself but when Cat’s like, ‘normal town my a--’ and then the cut to commercial break AAAAAHHHHHH so good.

Okay, back to the episode, Nia and Brainy, on the Legion Cruiser, AND THEN!

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN!

OUR KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!!!!!

I love them. It won’t happen, but gosh, I want a Midvale spin-off so bad.

Like, the Crisis retcon made some space in the girls’ past for a spin-off to actually...kinda work.

(But sustaining the premise across multiple episodes/seasons would be tricky and there would always be the threat of running up against like. The current show’s continuity.

But hey! They could just ignore it, I guess! That’s what the Superman show is doing!) *insert frowny emoji here*

So the kids have gathered with Alex for milkshakes, which is delightful.

But ALL IS NOT WELL! As Alex reads about the ‘luckiest town’ and is like:

(Except with a lot more anxiety and frowning)

I feel as though we already knew Alex went to Stanford but I can’t remember if Kara’s (terrible) resume revealed that she went to National City University?

*Checks* Yes it did.

Another thing I LOVE is just. Alex as the Responsible One, whose anxiety is perpetually cranked to a 9.5, driving the Scooby-Duo around in the suburban mom van for super-ing jobs.

Also, ‘super-ing’ is an excellent verb, 15/10

Young Cat Grant! ....More on her later.

Nicole and Jesse did such a great job with the comedy in this episode--their initial attempt at a cover story/lie is so good.

And the masterful transition into an actual good lie that Nia knew would win Kara over...VERY NICE.

Kara being so obviously thrilled that there are OTHER ALIENS! WITH POWERS! HERE, IN MIDVALE! RIGHT HERE!

Fandom has ruined the whole ‘Kara has golden retriever energy’ as is their way but I must say...very much getting ‘excited puppy energy’ here.

Nia and Kara comparing powers was so CUUUUUUUUTE!!!!

As was the picture on Kenny’s desk of him and Kara. D’aaaawwww.

(But OH NO SADNESS...BECAUSE A BREAKUP IS IMMINENT.)

Okay in addition to all of the incredibly adorable content we also get lots of FAMILY FEEEEEEELINGS, which: Yes, good, yes.

But Eliza is only here as a PICTURE on Kara’s nightstand and a NAME on Alex’s badge, I am sad. :C

(Hope Helen Slater is in this last season at some point...need that soothing mom energy after all the Phantom Zone angst)

I think I’m out of order now but Kenny wanting to help Kara help people is just. The most adorable thing.

Spoiler alert: I use the word ‘adorable’ a lot in this list. Sorry...but also not.

The Brainy music when he’s in the school computer lab watching the printer is really great. I think we’ve heard it before, but it meshed so well with the whole vibe of both the character and the episode, just stood out nicely, I guess.

Okay, so. Do we think that Jesse could always do the baseball bat tricks, and the writers wrote it in, or do we think that he learned them for the show? My money is on the former.

Either way, very impressive.

And now for the truck situation! I kinda thought it would turn out that it was Cat’s doing, as she was trying to suss out the ‘super’, but nope, it was the blue dudes.

(Which makes more sense, since they have no qualms about endangering other people.)

And ON THAT NOTE, the blue guys! They are the perfect level of ridiculous, and they are wonderfully straightforward in ways that the Phantoms are not.

Also, I love that one of them is named Mitch?

Nia and Kara save the day!

After Kara busts the brakes and is like, ‘uhhh....they’re not working’

I noticed the Metropolis license plate and while yes it’s a little strange that plates are...apparently city-based in this corner of Earth Prime, stranger still is that Cat presumably drove clear across the country to check out this story. Right? Like, that’s the only way she has that plate out in Midvale?

Wait, wait. Totally forgot to mention Kara and Nia’s EXTREMELY OBVIOUS ‘don’t be suspicious’ sunglasses gambit at the Midvale College campus you absolute DORKS.

Right, so.

Remember those FAMILY FEELZ??? WELL!

We’ve got Nia’s call to her mom, which, oof. OOOOOF.

And then we have even MORE FEELINGS aka: The garage talk.

Okay. OKAY. So even though I’m a little sad “Midvale” no longer occurred in Earth Prime’s timeline, I am fascinated by the ways this new series of events have impacted Alex, Kara, and their past. (Also thrilled that Kenny lives, natch). Alex’s resentment and the burden of ‘protect Kara, PROTECT KARA’ have been left to simmer while Kara’s determination to help people has led to some...earnest but slightly careless secret hero work. The building blocks of the conflict introduced in “Midvale” are still there so while it might at first seem a little...repetitive, for Alex to lay all this out to Kara, it’s really just the reveal of a new boiling point; a post-crisis update on the scene in Midvale where Alex is like, ‘I had two parents before you showed up.’

AAAAAAAAAHHHHH IT’S EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATING I LOVE IT.

And then like. The new, but also not-new angle, of Alex leveraging her world-weariness against Kara’s youthful optimism/somewhat reckless desire to help, and then Kara throwing BACK that she’s explored other solar systems.

The LAYERS.

Also that Alex is like, ‘we need weapons, let’s tell mom and also call the DEO,’ classic Alex.

The garage talk ends with Kara determined to come clean to Kenny...BUT OH NO, THE HERO HIDEOUT IS SO CUTE, AND KENNY IS SO DEAR.

And the reveal that the almost-kiss in “Midvale” actually happened d’awwwww these kids.

Like. I am legitimately torn, here. I totally understand and support Kara in being honest with Kenny about the whole college situation--but also GAH. KENNY IS SO NICE AND CUTE AND EARNEST.

You know what ELSE is nice and cute and earnest?

Nia singing “9 to 5″ to Brainy to cope with stress and boost morale.

Heckin’ adorable, gosh.

Aaaaaand some other stuff occurred as the episode closed out but I don’t have them in my notes and BASICALLY I want the next hour like, now. Right now. Because this was WONDERFUL. FROM START TO FINISH.

So some Overall thoughts!

I said we’d get to Cat ‘CJ’ Grant later, so here we are: I...think I liked her? Overall? It was a performance that gradually won me over, is how I would describe it.

Absolutely wild that Cat built a media empire in a mere six years.

Also her whole, ‘I am going to find this extraordinary being and name them and kick Lois Lane into the classifieds’...I mean she eventually gets two out of three, there.

As I already started to mention, sad that Eliza wasn’t here! But it makes sense, since a lot of this, Kara is trying to keep on the DL.

Obviously, I am ALWAYS down for these flashback situations with the young Danvers. But it was also nice to take a break from the Phantom stuff. The plot here is simple/streamlined in a way the Phantom stuff...isn’t. I love the emotional character stuff coming out of the Phantom Zone arc but wow, the Phantoms are just. Needlessly complicated.

The little episode recap where Lena is explaining that Phantom Prime is like a bloodhound was like, ‘oh right, they do that too...in addition to all the other stuff that they apparently do.’

So, yes. Welcome change.

The change of scenery + type of action was nice too!

Though RIP to everyone’s hair, fighting against the moisture.

This episode also handled the Brainy/Nia relationship really well, IMO. Like, due to the whole, ‘trying to fit so much in, always’ approach to Supergirl episodes sometimes results in a bit of...one-sidedness, for various characters. Think for instance of Kelly needing to cheer everyone on in episode 2, but not having space for her own feelings/emotional needs in that episode.

I’ve felt that a bit with Brainy and Nia thus far--one will sort of take up more narrative space, so the relationship feels a little lopsided.

NOT SO HERE! They are both going through some stuff, they are both struggling to cope, they both come to rely on one another for help.

YES. GOOD. YES!!!!

Something I’m loving about season 6 overall is that so far, it doesn’t feel like the plot is stepping on character development too much. Like, it still isn’t a perfect balance, and some episodes manage it better than others, but compared to season 5? Leaps and bounds.

Everything was so nicely tied together and the dialogue was witty, the humor was delightful, EVERYONE WAS ADORABLE AND EARNEST AND DID I MENTION ADORABLE?* but they never lost sight of the themes and emotional through-lines and GAAAAAHHHHHH MIDVALE EPISODES ARE THE BEEEEEESTTTTTTTTT!

*Okay Alex was mainly stressed out but that’s to be expected.

TL;DR - Best episode of the season thus far? Best episode of the season thus far.

#SG post #long post #supergirl spoilers #supergirl season 6 spoilers #gif

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jean-does-not-have-a-horseface · 4 years

Text

Before Dawn ~ Pt2~

Hii!! This is part two of my new series. I hope every one of you like it, I'll be tagging the story with it's title so it's easier to find.

Warnings: mentions of attempted murder

@wakatosji I figured I should tag you but if you don't want me to tag you its alright, I don't want to be annoying ❤️

Comfort tea

"Ew?" First goes Lynne. Her face is contorted with a puzzled expression as she lifts her eyebrow to Petra's sudden requiry.

"Well, yeah, kinda" Nanaba shoots a glare to Nifa, as if judging her for her choice of words before she simply brushes the question with waving her hand. Seconding that, as if she knows what you were about to say a few moments before she sets her blue set of eyes on you. A gulp finds its way down your throat as her cold gaze pierces through your body and it's not long until you get the message. The girls' voices echo through your head as if you're listening from afar for you're drunk in your own thoughts.

For instant, you hate the fact that the first time you try to willing open up about a new feeling, you're overshadowed. The urgent need to spill your guts on the subject becomes more prominent by every single minute passing and yet you force yourself to keep it in. You're not about to physically burst your guts like a corpse under the hot summertime sun because of your emotions, so you should be fine if you collect your impatient self.

"Shut up Petra, I'm serious." A playful chuckle leaves Lynne's mouth.

Maybe, it's the fact that Nanaba knows you too well that lifts some weight off of you for now when at the same time she's stopping you from saying something you'll regret. And thus, you bite your lip and reluctantly decide to ignore the throbbing of your own thoughts.

"He handpicked me for his squad!"

:readmore:

Oddly enough you don't feel any jealousy creeping in your system by hearing Petra's words thanks to Nanaba putting you in your place. Even though, you're sadly reminisced of various scenes of your past where you've been in this very position after your mother has barked at you to stay in place you utter not a single word. Your head almost always automatically goes blank so you're not taken aback by your lack of reaction. Whatever Petra says you're sure going to overthink later, when sleep won't be willing to take you for the night.

"Captain really needs someone else in his squad right? Everyone has five members and he has four. (Y/n) why are you even in Mike's team, you could fill this blank right?"

"It's a special operations squad Nifa you dummy! He handpicked everyone!" Petra's adorable bunny smile is directed towards Nifa this time who gives her a cute puckered smirk of approval in return. It's almost too precious of an interaction for you to miss.

"Mike handpicked (y/n), right after me." Nanaba's voice bores casually into conversation while she takes her eyes away from her plate and lands them onto you. "So, what were you about to say?"

"Uhm" Your mind trails back to today's most random event "Henning imitated Tomas after I said good morning and scream 'nice tits (y/n)'. I totally gave him the finger." This simple choice of words helps avoid any unnecessary drama in your girls group. At least you had some dignity not to throw hands over a man anyways.

_____

"Hange stop squishing my cheeks, I can't sit with the higher ups."

"But you did last week!"

"You dragged me!"

Hange's response is only a silent hmf followed by her ever so memorable toothy mischievous grin. She begins taking steps towards you that only increase as one foot follows the other. Despite not being in a playful mood, you decide that running seems to be the best thing to do in the moment to get yourself away from her. If she catches you, she's dragging you with her once again.

Your heart is erratically pounding in your chest as you sprint down the many hallways of the headquarters, out of breath and dizzied by hunger. You reluctantly pause for a second to catch your breath amidst waiting for the inevitable to happen. Devil sure works hard but Hange and her determination work harder, you're reminded of that everyday, you tell yourself, not only when her hand lands onto your shoulder. You mentally punch yourself in the throat for not keeping your body in a better shape.

"I am not letting you starve again, let's go!"

All while during dinner you converse with Mike and Erwin on shortage of hygienic and sanitary products, something that concerns the commander excessively. Soldiers' access to basic necessities is always a top priority in the Scouting Region and commanders are to always tend to their needs. Erwin is and should be no different.

Levi seems to have his mind in your conversation and ignores Hange entirely while she's speaking some Titan nonsense to him. His eyes often widen when Erwin expresses concern on lack of soap and talks about his predictions on its practical annihilation, but it's only what you utter next that grabs his attention enough for him to turn his head in your direction.

"We can make soap. We don't have to keep putting orders for it to be made. I was taught to make soap at home and I'm sure many other girls know."

Silence spreads fast as if a traveling shadow on sunset on the table after you speak. Erwin's batting his eyes in yours, Mike too and Levi looks at you with that usual unamused expression of his. How come they had never thought about that?

Well probably because it wasn't always that there was such shortage in almost fucking everything.

"My office after dinner, cadet." Levi speaks, breaking the silence with his stern sounding voice. "There's something I need to discuss with you."

"Yes sir!" You reply in a heartbeat with a small bow of your head.

Not long after, the distinguishable tone of the curfew bell fills the air, making most soldiers get up from their seats instantly. Levi sits still in his spot as his fellow higher ups bid him with farewells and goodnights to which he replies with casual, nonchalant hums. Upon seeing most of the plebe has left he orders you to stand up and follow him.

He can't help but take a few vague looks of you with the corner of his left eye and he wonders if you do the same from time to time as you march behind him. It doesn't take long for the two of you to reach his quarters, but when you do he takes a stand to unlock the door before proceeding to let you in, him following asuit behind you.

"Here have a seat." He offers unsure of where to point to except for the dark colored loveseat near his desk. "I wanted to know how you even took the knife out of my hands." He watches as your facial expression turns into something along the lines of an almost undetectable disgust and sorrow, your brows forrow and your lips pucker. You couldn't hide it even if you wanted to and maybe the fact that he provoked such reaction from you bit suddenly on his gut and kept chewing on it.

"Just because you were a thug, doesn't mean you're the only one who gets to handle a knife you know." You finally answer, scratching and scrunching your nose in uneasiness. Almost mechanically, the next question comes out of his mouth without remorse.

"Oi what does a brat like you want to do with a knife. You don't strike me as the thug type. You're too uptight for that." A few moments later his gut is going to make him regret ever asking you in the first place.

"Uptight? Ugh, why would you even care, I bet your mother didn't try to murder you in your sleep or with any chance she could."

He grits his teeth inside his mouth and immediately closes his eyes in horror. That horrible feeling of his gut being chewed forms into bits and pieces of wild inner comburst within his organs. Though he cannot phantom what you have been through, he is able of making vivid potential images in his mind that will probably contribute to another sleepless night.

He turns to face you in hopes of being able to mouth anything that could cut through the uneasy tension he's created but at the sight of you he's overthrown. That heart breaking sob that leaves your lips, those thick streams of tears down your cheeks, he won't make it if he keeps looking at you in this condition, all he wants to do is scream, for he's witnessed enough cruelty and damage in this world and it seems that it's never enough. Human bloodlust is never enough.

"I'm s-sorry. I just. Why did I say that?" You faintly utter with uncertainty masking your shaky voice.

"It's fine, as long as you get over it." He definitely despises himself because of that line because in the name of heaven and hell how do you simply ask someone to get over such trauma without sounding like an entitled asshole. The motions that his eyes catch in the dim light of his office are skinny, hard but fragile at the same time and they all hint to you wanting to leave, presumably due to the lack of consolation on his part. He just determined he'll do better. You helped Isabel back on the day so he lets you this one.

"I-I'll excu-"

"Do you have any prefered beverages?"

"M-milk tea" you quietly huff. He's not quite sure whether a drink will ease your boiling pain, but at least he's hoping it'll soothe your current state.

His heart is officially aching with agony and pain that refuses to mellow even a notch, even if he begs to any profoundly selfclaimed wall God. Ever since a year ago he's been living within the heart of crime and downgrade garbage, respected for his violent ways and easily feared for his inhuman skills. In that dirty, shit smelling drain, overpopulated with humans or rats -or probably both, he can't possible distinguish them- who piss in any corner they find, he thought he'd seen any gruesome thing a man can do, but that rough melancholy in your eyes convinces him he's so casually wrong.

"I apologise for bringing such subject up, (y/n), here's your tea. Though due to shortages we don't have any milk." You matter him a word of gratitude as he sets the cup next to you. He'll never let you know, but he notices you're surprised by his actions even in that state you're in.

"She's dead. My mother. She died last month and-" you trail off your words "I guess it's more of me being emotionally chained to my abuser." Levi just pops his head in his palms and sighs deeply at the sound of that but never comes to find the right line up his textureless thoughts should take for him to form a sentence.

"Kinda looks like piss don't you think?"

"Huh?" If he could hear your words correctly and not partially because of the turbulence in his mind he would have thought of an instant smart come back.

"The tea, it looks like piss." At the sound, he barely manages to hold in a chuckle.

He knows yet he manages to only scoff in response. "I had to tremendously water it down, be mindful." He opts to suggest always in that bland tone of his.

"Do other people except from us drink it like that?"

"I desperately want to doubt that anyone cares to provide for your golden shower enthusiasm, so no. This is some of my personal stash."

The two of you enjoy your comfort tea in sheer silence. Levi can't take his eyes off of you, not that he's trying to, but he tries to convince himself it's only because you've verbally shared your trauma with him. In return, for some of his, he didn't have to share, you were there to see Isabel's head laying on the blood stained grass with Farlans upper body accompanying it. He wants to speak up, but his mouth is seldomly never in a place to voice out the exact thoughts in his head, so even if he tells you about Kenny and his childhood you never get to hear it. In addition, he's not the one to try and overshadow somebody who speaks about themselves by sharing his experience so the comfortable silence that has sprawled in the whole of his office is more than enough.

______

Here's the deal. Henning likes Lynne, Lynne likes Tomas, Tomas likes you and you like Captain Levi, not that hard to grasp right? As long as no one neglects their soldier duties everything is fine.

It's a plain sunny Sunday in the Survey Corps headquarters. Mike is on a day out, perhaps strolling around the city of Trost in chance of finding any merchant to provide for soldiers necessities, while you're assigned with cleaning his office.

Levi is standing at the doorframe, back pressed upon it with his hands crossed over his chest as he supervises the six of you go. He promised the blond squad leader to keep an eye on his team seeing that things would get heated up pretty easily nowadays, ending up in heated arguments most of the time as well.

Every time his eyes meet yours you avert your gaze away, specifically to the floor you're set on scrubbing until your hands bleed. He can't help but notice it. Small little movements of awkwardness from his part make you tense even if you're oblivious to his awareness of the fact.

"Tch" He tries his best to shake you off the territory you're occupying in his mind. It's not right for him to endulge in something frowned upon after having just received a position as a high rank. That's not his purpose here. Emotions should never color your judgement in battlefield.

"I'm taking a break." You call to the others as you stand from your kneeling position. You pat your hands dry on the sides of your hips and you hope Levi doesn't notice, because you won't see the end of this.

"I'm coming with you! Wait for me." Tomas announces and you respond a soft 'sure' along with a warm smile. "Ah God, I'm so thirsty!" The two of you walk past Levi at the door, but you never spare him a look, in fact you're too invested in your small talk with Tomas to even ask for permission to excuse yourselves.

"Love birds, huh Nanaba?" Gelgar elbows the blonde with puckered his lips, a ridiculous expression plastered on his face. "I wonder how long until we get the good news-"

"Gelgar just shut up."

"What Lynne? Poor Tomas might finally get his chance with the kid."

Lynne loves you and your group of friends deeply. She and Nanaba are probably the big sisters of the group. They've stuck with you, Nifa and Petra through thick and thin, through bloodshed and tragedy, so she's not mad at you for having caught Tomas' attention. With your melancholic youthful face, (h/c) hair that blows softly in the wind, with the way you pucker your lips when you're determined or angry. She's probably mad at herself for never acting on that cadet trainee crush she had on Tomas. She sets her mind on recovering quickly from it.

Despite opening her mouth to speak, she notices it's not her voice that's heard, but in fact it's a deeper, almost nasal one.

"Set to work, tch, don't waste your energy on royal teenage drama."

"Sir! Yessir!"

Irritated, Levi bites the inside of his cheek, without ever changing the look in his eyes. You were kind and behaved well mannered to everyone, that was all. That was was led you to act nice to Isabel and what led her to speak highly of you to him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"It's alright! Get up" with your eyes shut, you smile at the redhead who's sprawled across the grass while holding out your hand to her. Isabel smiles back and she proceeds to take your hand, taking another chance to spare with you again.

For a few nights she won't shut up about you. How you don't look down on her like other girls do, how you iron her clothes just like her big bro does.

"I'm going to miss her when were free of here, Farlan!" The red head takes a bite of her bread and munches softly on it. Before she even has a chance to speak another word she feels a hand ruffle her hair but notices that Levi's hands are concentrated on the simple task of feeding food in his mouth. She spares you a heart warming smile and wave but you fail to reciprocate as your friends gesture you to sit.

"You're gonna make me miss her too and I don't even know her." Farlan says and places a hand at the top of his head, scratching a soft spot.

"Ahh, big bro! Can we kidnap her!"

"We're not kidnapping anyone. We need to focus on our mission alright Isabel?"

Isabel shushes at this but doesn't fail to shoot you a glare. And this time you respond with a wave. Whatever you lack in word choosing skills you make up for kind acts. She wishes they kidnap you, she needs a female friend anyways.

Hey you there, yes you, thanks for taking time and reading this, I appreciate it more than I can express. If you want to see me write something for you make sure to leave a request in my askbox! Any comments on how you're enjoying the story are also very appreciated. Much love until next time 💕

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riotfuckery · 4 years

Text

The fine line

Bakugo Katuski x lionshifter!F!Reader

A/N: Hello beautiful readers!!! Back again with a kinda shitty Bakugo x reader! Characters are 18+!! I have no idea how to write him so this is my first attempt. It’s kinda smutty but nothing too crazy. Just sexy descriptions and another badly described make out. PM me if you wanna be tagged in any of my stuff! Enjoy darlings! 🥰

Taglist: @queensynderella @trafalgar-temptress @birds-have-teeth @kingtamakimurder @thedreadthread

Warnings: sexy descriptions, implied sexy time, a badly described make out, getting called kitty, and calling Bakugo sexy and sinful

Thank you for all the love and support senpais💖💖

»»————-💥————-««

Blood boiled in your bodies as Bakugo panted on top of you. Both your wrists tightly held in one of his large hands as he pinned them to the ground. His mouth watering smell of smoky burnt caramel filled your senses as your own breathing became heavy.

Red eyes glared into yours menacingly, the feral smirk widening on his face as he leaned closer. He was silently challenging you, daring you to do something while you were in such a helpless position. The fire in your belly threatening to burn you alive as the blush on your face betrayed you, growling at him.

“Win goes to Bakugo. Next pair step up.” Aizawa’s tired voice called out from the edge of the ring.

Sparring. The one thing you can’t beat Bakugo Katsuki in. It frustrated you to no end, you were good at hand to hand combat, even beating Izuku and Shoto a few lucky times. But you could never beat him.

Everything about ‘Lord Explosion Murder’ pissed you off. The awful comments he made, the god complex he had, how he was always yelling, but the thing you hated the most about him was how fucking sexy he was.

Piercing crimson eyes on his handsome face paired with a body carved out of marble made by god herself drove you insane. The cherry on top of this sundae being the way he smelled. He smelled sweet, smoky, and sinfully delicious. It never failed to set a sweet fire in your gut while your blood boiled.

He moved off you and joined the bakusquad while you sat up and rubbed your sore wrists. You were still panting, the long sparring set you just had made you tired. Trying every move in the book, you placed your concentration into finding a way to throw him off. You couldn’t.

“Y-you did great out there (y/n)-chan!” Izuku’s sweet voice grabbed your attention, breaking out of your oncoming rage and frustration. He stood in front of you shyly with his hand out.

“Thanks Izu, I really appreciate it.” You smiled softly at him, grabbing his hand to help you stand up and continuing to hold it for a moment. Freckled cheeks turned pink at your pet name and the skin to skin contact. You gave his hand a quick squeeze before letting go and joining your friends with Izuku right at your side.

You both joined Shoto, Ochacko, and Tenya aka the dekusquad. You were friendly with everyone but you found your home in the dekusquad. They were kind, non judgmental, and overall good people.

You were immediately friends with Izuku from day 1. Your quirk wasn’t special but the species you shifted into was. The queen of the jungle, none other than a lioness. You had different forms, ranging from lion-girl to full blown big cat.

You were a force to be reckoned with. Armed with powerful muscles, excellent hunting skills, sharp eyes, sharp canines, an instinct to protect, and even sharper claws; you aimed to be hero. The skills and instincts you had earned you a spot in the top hero class of UA.

Izuku was your favorite and despite how powerful he was, you couldn’t help but dote on him. Large green eyes and chubby freckled cheeks awoken the lioness in you. You saw him as the the baby, even though he was taller than you.

Gently purring to him and running your fingers through his green curls were your favorite things to do in your spare time. Another reason you hated Bakugo, he hated on Izuku for no reason.

Verbal fights with Bakugo were a daily thing, continuing well into your 3rd year. Screaming and swearing at each other about the other persons attitude was just another part of your routine. You couldn’t stand the way he insulted your poor green bean.

“STUPID DEKU, I’M GONNA BE THE NUMBER ONE HERO! A NERD LIKE YOU CAN’T GET TO THE TOP NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY!” Bakugo’s rough voice insulted Izuku in the classroom.

Your golden lion ears twitched at the loud volume and irritation. Rage filling your nervous system as slitted (e/c) eyes med red ones, narrowing at each other. If he wanted a fight, I’ll fuckin give him one.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, BLASTY! WITH A NASTY ATTITUDE LIKE YOURS I DOUBT YOU’LL MAKE TOP 10!” You yelled back.

Standing up, you moved to stand in front of a terrified looking Izuku with claws out and teeth bared. You were willing to throw hands with anyone who would insult your classmates and Izuku was no exception.

Kirishima was already up and at Bakugo’s side, frantically trying to calm him down. Ochacko was doing the same at your side while Tenya was in the middle yelling and chopping away about fighting in the classroom.

“Please (y/n)-Chan! Dont start a fight in the classroom, you don’t want to wake up Aizawa-Sensei do you?” Ochako nervously spit out as she held your arm tightly with pinkies raised. The sound of popping from his one of his palms as the cursed scent of smoky caramel wafted through the room.

Never once breaking eye contact from each other, you decided it wasn’t worth it. With a growl, you retracted your claws and crossed your arms, challenging him to back away with slitted eyes. A rough ‘Tch’ came from Bakugo as he walked away and headed back to his seat, kicking his feet up on the desk like he always does.

Your brow raised for a moment in confusion. ‘How weird, he normally keeps going until we’re nearly throwing punches. Oh well, can’t look a gift horse in the mouth.’ Was the thought running in your head. Brushing it off, you turned towards Izuku to make sure he was okay.

“T-thank you for defending m-me (y/n)-Chan. You really didn’t have to, I’ll beat Kacchan one day fair and square!” He started nervously but ended with determined tone.

You smiled softly and let out a low purr at the greenette. He was so adorable that you couldn’t stop yourself from cooing at him.

“I know Izu, but you don’t have to have to take his bad attitude laying down. You’ll be a great hero one day.” You said as you gave a pat to the wild green curls on his head.

He blushed at the small act of affection, covering his face with his arms as he placed his head down on the desk. A light chuckle escaped you at how shy he was around girls.

»»————-💥————-««

Two weeks passed by since your last fight with Bakugo and it wildly confused you. He didn’t pick on Izuku as much and a quick glare from you shut him up.

‘No fights? No screaming at each other? Why? We’re usually at each other’s throats. Maybe he’s been tired.’ You tried to rationalize to yourself as you sat next to Uraraka at lunch. It’s been quiet on the war with Bakugo, so quiet that it made you suspicious.

Lunch went by normally, making talk of studies and upcoming events with them. Just having a nice time with the dekusquad. Something just kept on bugging you on the inside, making you unable to to fully relax and eat your food.

Wanting to head up to the roof, you bid your goodbyes to everyone early. You needed fresh air to clear your mind. Throwing away your lunch and walking through the quiet halls eased the restlessness. You climbed up the old staircase and opened the creaky door to the roof.

It was empty, thankfully. With a sigh, you propped open the door with your school bag and padded your way to the middle of the roof.

Standing there for a moment, you inhaled the fresh air and relished in the quiet sounds of the city. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and focused.

The faint smell of the city mixed with foresty smelling winds put your unease at rest for now. Ears relaxing at the familiar sounds of cars driving by and students chatting about in different classrooms. You felt peaceful.

You stretched out your muscles, sighing when you heard the pops of your joints. Deciding to take a seat, you gently placed yourself down and bathed in the sun. It wasn’t too hot today and the light breeze kept it cool.

Quietly bathing in the sun, you were thankful for this peace. You knew you had 10 mins before the bell rang to go to class so you relaxed in the few minutes you had.

Unfortunately, peace never lasts. Loud and heavy footsteps came from the stairway, pulling you out of your little zen bubble. Those steps only met one person and it was the last one you wanted to be alone with right now. With a groan, you pulled yourself up and stood facing the doorway with crossed arms.

The door was roughly kicked open, causing the rusty hinges to squeak loudly. Golden ears twitched in response as slitted (e/c) eyes met red ones once again. ‘OF COURSE BAKUGO HAD TO DISTURB MY PEACE! WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE HIM!’ You screamed in your head while maintaining a poker face.

“Hey, you dumb cat. I gotta talk to you.” His rough voice called out. A last ditch effort to confess his feelings for you after a lot of convincing from the bakusquad.

You rolled your catlike eyes. ‘Dumb cat, that stupid nickname. I guess it could be worse’ you internally shrugged.

“Okay, and what do you need to say?” You quipped back, already fed up with this conversation.

“Tch! I like you, you dumb cat.” He mumbled, gritting his teeth and looking away with his hair covering his eyes. You spotted pink scratching at his cheeks.

Your brain crashed like an old computer. Standing here for a moment, you looked at him shocked.

‘Bakugo fucking Katsuki LIKES ME?!?!?!? WHAT? WHEN? WHY?! HUH?!?!’ Questions were flying through your head faster than the speed of light. All in a failed attempt to figure something, anything about this situation.

“HUH?!” You screamed out, it was all you can manage to get out with this newfound information.

“Do you need me to say it again, you stupid cat?!” He yelled out, cheeks now bright pink and body language screaming that he was clearly embarrassed.

“No Bakugo, I heard you just fine-“ you started, all the questions you had loading up like a bullets in a magazine.

“Katsuki” he interrupted.

Too frazzled to question it, you just kept going. “Uh- okay, Katsuki. I heard you just fine. But WHEN? WHERE? HOW? WHY?!?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? I THOUGHT WE HATED EACH OTHER?!” You yelled, still overwhelmed and clearly confused.

In your confused daze, he managed to strut his way right in front of you. Now face to face with with him made you even more confused. He brought his hand to your face and placed two fingers under your chin, tilting your head up and making you look at him. You stopped mid sentence, surprised by his bold move.

“I like you, dumb cat, because you’re strong. You don’t back down from a fight, you don’t take anyone’s shit, you’re a kickass fighter, and last but not least, you’re one sexy little kitty.” He smirked, his gravelly voice dropping a few octaves.

Dumbfounded and flustered was an UNDERSTATEMENT to how you felt. The sinful smell of smoky caramel once again started to cloud your senses as his burning red eyes gazed at you. A blush erupted on your cheeks at his praises but you held your ground. ‘I guess the line between hate and attraction was finer than I thought.’ You thought before you decided to believe him.

Managing to fight off the haze for a moment longer, you looked up at him. (E/c) eyes searched his own for anything besides the truth. Katsuki was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar.

The haze once again came back as he moved his hand from your chin to your cheek, caressing it gently and almost protectively. His hand was large and very warm, it made you melt despite the red hot blush on your face.

He leaned in so close your lips were brushing. You flickered your gaze from his eyes to his lips, they looked slightly chapped but plush despite his rough mannerisms and attitude. Oh how you would love to find out if he tasted as good as he smelled.

“Fuck it” you whispered, throwing caution to the wind before gently placing your lips on his. His lips were surprisingly skilled and tasted faintly of caramel. Eyes fluttering closed as the space between your bodies decreased.

The gentle kiss quickly became heated, his tongue prying your soft lips open as his large hands ran down your body and gripped your hips to bring you closer to him.

Tongues wrestled each other as you ran you hands up his clothed torso and made their way into his spiky blonde hair. It was soft, despite the style he sported. You let out a low purr at his actions, rough and incredibly dominant as he explored your cavern.

You gave it his hair a light tug to test the waters, earning you a low growl from him. You pulled away for much needed oxygen, now both of you panting and wildly blushing.

“So the great ‘Lord Explosion Murder’ couldn’t handle his feelings so he had to go picking fights with the girl he likes for attention huh?” You teased with a cocky smirk that rivals his.

“Shut up” he growled as he grit is teeth and looked to the side in sad attempt to cover up his embarrassment.

You slid your finger to his cheek and pushed his face till he was facing you once again. The smug smile on your face still plastered on there as you leaned closer to him.

“Why don’t you make me, Katsuki~” you purred, sharp teeth glinting in the light and a teasing playful smile on your face.

Another growl came in response as he crashed his lips against yours in a frenzied hungry kiss. Needless to say, you both didn’t make it to class on time.

BONUS: Aftermath

Various chatter from male students rang about the boys lockeroom as they switched from costumes to uniforms.

As Katsuki pulled his shirt off, long red and almost painful looking scratches were sitting on his muscular back.

“Woah! Bakubro! What happened to you?” The red puppy known as Kirishima asks concerned. Bless him for being so innocent.

“Just ran into a dumb cat, shitty hair. Don’t worry about it.” He spoke nonchalantly, well as nonchalant as he could get.

No one spotted the ever so victorious smirk on his face as he pulled his uniform shirt on.

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