#it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying

[punzoblr]

Tell me how I got sick the same time as Punz

#dude yesterday I had a bad sore throat and kept waking up every 40 minutes and still went to school #because like I felt bad #and I had a cute outfit picked out #and like in my head I was like Well A Sore Throat Isn’t Bad Enough To Miss School It’s Only The Second Week #and I’ll tell you I was dying #like the first two classes were alright #then the third I was like a little too spacy #and had like a weird light headed feeling #then around 5th I was like hit with a feeling of extreme weakness #drowsiness #we were taking notes and I could help but just put my dead down #hesd* then I tried holding it together for English and I literally felt that imposter feeling of when you’re trying to act sober like Yes Im #Coherent I Make Conversation. then in my lunch I just like sat there literally in the most bizarre mood #like we sit in booths and I was between two of my friends and I let them play with my Uno cards #and I just had my music in and I was just about to pass out #same with the last class which was study hall in the same cafeteria #i texted my mom like This Shit Sucks I’m Not going to school tomorrow #then today I woke up with the worst cough #i sound like those smokers with the neck holes they hire for anti smoking PSA’s #but I’ve never felt like so brain foggy and weak and drowsy

[juyeonszn]

REFLECTIONS

PAIRING jacob bae x f!reader

WORD COUNT 2.07k

GENRES smut lol

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, fawn writing about jacob bae yet again but i swear this time was necessary!!!, porn without plot but also if u squint there’s a little bit of plot, roommates/best friends with mutual pining, i mixed so many tropes in here tbh, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex (pls be safe), mirror sex, soft? dom!jacob, lmk if i missed anything!

SUMMARY the two times jacob bae derails your saturday night plans.

MORE FAWNTOBER DAY 2 IS A GOOOOO 😈 i’m actually doing pretty well timing wise and as far as im concerned, i’ll actually pull this thing off 😭 anyways.. enjoy!! pls remember to reblog if u liked what u read! and stay tuned for the rest of the fics coming out this month <3

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble

If it were up to you, you would just stay home for the evening. You’d kick your feet up into the ottoman and put on a random movie, latched onto Jacob’s side like a little leech. You were lucky your roommate was just as much of a cuddler as you were. It’d be kind of awkward if he wasn’t.

Unfortunately, your Saturday night plans would have to be postponed.

“It’s gonna be fun, N/N, I promise,” he tries to convince you, hands clasped together. “Sangyeon even said he’d pay your tab.”

“But I’m tired, Cobie,” you pout, knowing full well that your puppy dog eyes would always be his weakness, even if he’d never admit it to himself. “I don’t wanna go out tonight.”

He must’ve really been looking forward to going out and meeting up with the guys if not even your guilt-tripping face worked on him. He goes off on a tangent about how you always stay in, and despite loving that to an extent, sometimes he wants to enjoy a night out. You were still confused as to why he didn’t just go by himself. Why did he have to bring you along with him?

It’s not like you were dating or anything. You were just roommates. Really close roommates. Roommates who cuddled every other night. Roommates who often found themselves sleeping in the other’s bed rather than their own. Roommates who were so undeniably attracted to each other but masked it by pretending they weren’t.

Couldn’t you have been sucked into a different trope?

“I just think you’re not giving the idea enough credit,” he raises his hands in surrender. “Besides, wouldn’t you feel left out? Wouldn’t you get major FOMO?”

You sigh. He had a point. Even if you didn’t really want to go clubbing, knowing all of your friends were there without you would make you sad. Imposter syndrome came way too easily for you. “Fine, I guess I’ll go.”

Jacob fist bumps the air, dragging you from the couch to your bedroom so you could start getting ready. He knows you take a while and the arranged meet up time was two hours from the current time. You move as quickly as you can, because even if you were only interested half heartedly, you didn’t want to be late. Especially because Jacob had a knack for constantly being punctual.

You kiss your teeth as you stare at your closet after you’ve finished showering and doing your hair and makeup. You felt like there was nothing good enough to wear. This wasn’t just a bar that you usually frequented, so you couldn’t dress casually. But it also wasn’t so fancy that you had to go over the top either. And for some reason, none of your clothes could fall into the perfect in-between category.

There was one dress.

You hadn’t worn it in a while, mostly because you never found the occasion to and it brought bad memories. It was a confidence booster, that was for sure. A tight black dress that stopped just below your ass and showed the perfect amount of cleavage. The moment you put it on, it’s like you’re a new person.

Staring back at you is someone you haven’t seen in a couple years, someone you shoved into the recesses of your subconscious. She used to party every night until she was black out drunk, making out and sleeping with random strangers until she was satisfied. She was stuck in a loop until she became friends with Jacob Bae, eventually moving in to get away from that lifestyle.

You never tell him how grateful you are. Part of you wishes to keep your past buried, hidden from the light of day so you never have to face your mistakes again. But at the same time, you could never tell him thank you enough. For saving you in a way, for helping you close that chapter of your life.

There’s a knock at your door, and you call out a “Come in” before your brain catches up with you. You make eye contact with Jacob in the mirror, watching his expression shift slightly. It wouldn’t have been noticeable if you were anyone else, but you knew him almost as well as you knew yourself. Maybe better.

He walks up behind you, brushing your hair behind your shoulder with a featherlight touch. “I haven’t seen this one on you in a long time.”

He’s so close to you, it’s kind of driving you crazy. You bite the inside of your lip, trying to keep your voice steady. “Should I wear it?”

His fingers start at your waist, trailing down to the hem of your dress. His knuckles skim across the bare skin of your exposed thigh, provoking your body to shudder. “Hmm, I’m not too sure,” Jacob rests his chin on your shoulder, looking at you through the mirror. “Seeing you in this is making me rethink going out tonight. Kinda wanna keep you here, all to myself, like that night at Hyunjae’s party.”

Okay, so perhaps you might’ve skipped a tiny detail in the retelling of your first encounter with Jacob Bae.

The reason you two became friends was because he actually happened to be one of those random strangers you slept with. It was a stroke of luck that you kept in contact with him after that night, considering he was supposed to be nothing more than a nameless face. But he was cute and he was funny, so when he asked to hang out a few days later you couldn’t help but cave in.

“Jacob…” You breathe, chest rising and falling rapidly. “D-Don’t you wanna see the boys?”

His lips press to the juncture between your neck and collarbone, a soft kiss that already packs your head with cotton. He hums into your skin, hands bunching up your dress around your hips. Someone was impatient. “Not important. We can reschedule.”

You didn’t want to reschedule. You wanted to get out of this apartment, fully clothed, with an excuse to ignore the hammering of your heart in your rib cage and the fluttering down there. If you stayed here any longer, Jacob would successfully charm his way into your pants. (Dress?) And you didn’t want to think about the consequences that may come with.

But it’s not like he gives you much of a choice, invading your headspace with every nip and suck of your jugular and jaw. His slender fingers run a line down the front of your panties, a small groan leaving the back of his throat when he feels how wet you are for him. With heavy eyelids, you watch the entire thing in the mirror, lips parting with a gasp at the sight.

“Fuck, baby,” he curses in your ear, pulling you backward so the two of you are sitting on the edge of your bed, still facing your mirror. “You want me just as bad don’t you?”

You whine, squirming as he dips his fingers into the waistband of your underwear, collecting your slick and smearing it all over your lower lips. He helps you shimmy out of your panties and dress, leaving you completely nude for him. His fingers resume their previous activities, easily pumping the ring and middle digits in and out of your cunt. His free hand grips your jaw, forcing you to keep your eyes on his movements.

“Cobie,” you whimper, spreading your legs wider to give both of you a better view. “Feels so good…”

His thumb circles your clit, mouth beside your ear to whisper all the filthy things he wants to do to you. Your toes curl at the same time his fingers do, brushing that sweet spot in your pussy. A strangled moan escapes you as you hit your climax, walls tightening around his fingers and back arching into his chest.

“That was so hot. You did so well for me,” he praises, thumb rubbing lazy patterns into your clit to bring you back down. “I just need you to do that on my cock. Can you do that for me, baby?”

“Mhm,” you nod, hands reaching behind yourself to free him from his jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper in your haste. “Need you inside of me already.”

You hope Jacob doesn’t have high expectations for you since you came so quickly with just his fingers. You’re not sure if he’s anticipating you to last longer with his cock. From what you remember, he wasn’t the longest, but he was definitely the thickest, and that’s what scared you the most. You were afraid of how full he’d make you feel.

Once the clothes from his bottom half are removed, you risk a glance at his dick in the mirror, your pussy clenching around nothing. Despite not knowing if you’d be able to take him without turning into a blubbering mess, you really wanted to try. You wanted him to fill you up like a plug in a bathtub drain.

He takes his girth in one hand, sliding his dick through your folds languidly, lubricating himself with the wetness of your cunt. He groans in your ear again, squeezing your hip to steel himself. “You ready for me?”

Your head bobs up and down quickly, patience wearing thin. He chuckles before impaling you on his cock, both of you moaning from the feeling of one another. The stretch burns, but it’s fucking heavenly, your pussy feeling so stuffed you can barely think. (Not that your thoughts were coherent beforehand anyway.)

“You’re— oh god, Jacob— you’re s-so deep,” you mewl, hands supporting yourself on his thighs. “I feel so full.”

He keeps his grip on your waist, fucking up into you as slowly as he can as to not disrupt your adjustment to his cock. Your head lolls back onto his shoulder, lips parted with a gasp every time he thrusts into your tight pussy. He shakes his head, urging you to stay upright.

“I need you to keep your eyes on the mirror, baby. Watch me fuck you until you can’t take it anymore.” Jacob commands, voice as deep as his dick inside of you.

You comply, hooded eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head when you take in the sight of him bouncing you on his cock. Your nails dig into his skin, lip splitting from the force in which you’re biting it. He looks so hot, focused on getting you both to that peak you desperately need to reach.

It’s such a stark contrast to the sweet Jacob Bae you’re used to, this one pounding into you without mercy, eyebrows knitted together in concentration. That first time you had sex, years ago, was pretty vanilla thanks to you both having a little too much to drink that night. You don’t even think you remembered most of it. Had you known he was such a freak, maybe you wouldn’t have pretended your attraction to him was nonexistent. Maybe this would’ve happened a lot sooner.

You don’t dwell on that regret much longer, Jacob yanking your attention back in by rubbing your clit with his middle finger. The amount of overstimulation fogs your vision, voluminous, pornographic level moans reverberating around the room. The words bubbling past your lips don’t make any sense, reduced to babbling until an encouragement is uttered into your ear.

“Cum on my cock, sweetheart,”

A cry is ripped from your vocal cords, your body writhing above him and continuing even after he’s orgasmed inside of you, fucking his cum into your cunt as he calms you down. You whimper when he grasps your jaw once more, egging you on to stare at the mixture of your cum running down your legs.

You both look absolutely feral, skin sticky with sweat and chests heaving up and down as if you’d ran a marathon. Jacob makes no move to pull out, leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck, back and shoulders. Your eyes flutter shut as a wave of exhaustion rushes over you.

“I think you’re pretty close to succeeding in your mission,” you say hoarsely. “I can hardly function right now.”

He laughs, such a melodic sound it almost doesn’t belong in your current setting. “Yeah? Do you wanna help me pass it?”

And in spite of being on the brink of passing out, who are you to deny such a promising offer?

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

#the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz jacob #tbz jacob #jacob bae x reader #jacob bae smut #jacob x reader #jacob smut #juyeonszn #fawntober.2023🎃

[caitibugzz]

do you have any insight on dealing with imposter syndrome and feeling like you're lying to yourself?

i had to look up what imposter syndrome meant so i apologize if my advice isn’t that fitting or if it doesn’t help,

i often feel like i’m lying to myself, or that i’m not the person i think i am, or im a different person than how people perceive me, and it’s got even worse once i started to stream.

as for feeling like u don’t know urself and therefore are lying to yourself:

i think a big thing we have to realize is that we are allowed to be different people day to day, changing as you grow up, changing based on your environment, changing when you are with people vs yourself. it’s all normal i promise. we don’t have to categorize ourself as a specific type of person, like a character in a movie with specific characteristics that they don’t very from. we are human, it’s okay to evolve with time and contradict yourself. be introverted AND extroverted. you are allowed to be sensitive and closed off. your allowed to get angry even if you are sweet most of the time. i struggle with trying to act as a character, a show i’m preforming. a persona, if you will. and i try to do this because if i don’t, if i fail to define every part of my personality in a tangible sense, i feel i don’t know myself. humans are meant to be complex.

as for imposter syndrome, there are a lot of different types:

if you are feeling you are unworthy/undeserving of the things you receive; i get it. in school i was in gifted programs but never felt deserving of it. i felt stupid when i saw all the other gifted kids, my grades were bad, the gifted kids called me dumb but all the other kids would call me smart.. i never felt like it. i felt like i knew more about all the things i didn’t know then what i did know. whether it is with school titles or even streaming, i look at everything everyone else has done to get to the position i’m in and i feel like i’m not worthy of it all. why me, i didn’t do anything/enough to deserve this? someone must have got it wrong. be kind to yourself. try and find all your talents, all the sweet parts that make you you. imposter syndrome stems from confidence issues. insecurities. just as you would any issue like it: face your insecurities, realize your talents and utilize them. stop comparing yourself. you have received everything you have for a reason, other people have different paths, that doesn’t mean yours is untrue. don’t hide from your feelings. how you feel you don’t belong or are unworthy, lean into those. feel them, so then you can begin to heal them. don’t let it hold you back. it can be very unmotivating believing you have wrongly gotten far, no matter how much you feel a fraud, keep pursuing what you want, your goals, don’t let anything hold you back. so what if it was all a fluke. use it to your advantage. if all else fails, if you can’t see how deserving you are, make yourself believe it. become what you view as deserving.

and this doesn’t have to be work/school/career related. some people believe they aren’t deserving in general, in life. for the life they now have, the kindness they receive, the people in your life. you must realize the things that have happen to you do not define you. from the moment you were born you were deserving of everything. everything that could make you smile and feel all happy and warm inside. your deserving of it all. because you always have been, and always will be.

if you feel you could always do better, that you need to be best and do it solo otherwise you feel unworthy; i get this too, being born a natural perfectionist at the core but also with my mental issues like my OCD. some days i don’t even brush my teeth, and it’ll be 7pm and i’ll be sitting in bed hating myself for not doing enough, not being enough. in my streaming, when i was at my peak, i felt like i wasn’t funny enough, not deserving of all the views i got, that someone else could have done better with all i’ve received. if you have ever felt like that, or like if you aren’t the best you are nothing. that sometimes your hardest isn’t even enough, and even if you work and receive what you want, you could’ve done better. YOU ARE HUMAN. it is okay to not be perfect. it’s okay to not push yourself all the time, just because you didn’t push yourself to exhaustion doesn’t mean you are any less worthy. it’s okay if you didn’t do “all you could”, it’s okay if you asked for help from people, it’s okay to not do it solo, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve what comes your way after all that work. sure some people may work harder, good for them! and good for you for doing your own thing! you don’t need to work harder than others to prove your worthiness. you don’t have to be great at everything. don’t burn yourself out. it’s okay to be average! come join us over here at the mediocre club, i promise we are just as worthy of good as anyone else. and you do have talents. for some reason we see talents as something that only other people can have, because if we can do it.. it must not be that impressive, right?

wrong.

trust the judgment of those around you. you earned it, so trust yourself. they aren’t being nice, they are being honest. it’s not luck. you’re not a fake, you’re human.

#imposter syndrome #i feel like an imposter #unworthiness #feeling unworthy #feeling undeserving #mental health #i also didn’t reread this so if it makes no sense don’t come for me

[thewarriorspecial]

A long post on writing and languages and insecurities

I went ahead and started in the translation project because I’m excited for it but also I’m seeing a pattern developing in the poll and I like to deliver.

the amount of colloquial expressions that I use for tone and dialogue just…don’t translate. This will be my biggest hurdle. I’m far from fluent. I’m leaning on online translation tools to get the noun or verb I need and then conjugation charts to try to match the tense of the story.

if you’ve politely not mentioned that I cannot spell or conjugate in my mother tongue, thank you, but take solace that I know and I’m so much more aware of it now lol. I feel like I’m better at English by trying to learn other languages. Hm that’s a sad thing to type. Moving on.

I think I’m going to be brave and try to make friends with the French and Spanish speakers at the new job and maybe like talk to them to learn. My skills always degrade because I watch stuff or read but I don’t actually speak so it’s like there’s this enormous downed tree in my mind and I just don’t have the ability to jump it so instead of responding in the target language, my tongue goes all gooey and I just go ummmmm. But I’ll get there one day.

I read something once and I wish I could find it where the author was describing how their voice changes and they “feel” different as they spoke in different languages. I was fascinated by this concept and I feel like I’m seeing it as I translate some of the GLs dialogue in my fics.

Hal and Guy especially are so so much more cool and sexy in Spanish I have to say. I can’t quite explain the change in the tone but I am rewriting a little bit to accommodate my lack of slang and accents to characterize. As I was writing for Kyle, he feels less cool and authentic and it inspired some little WIPs where I have him talking about feeling like he doesn’t know himself or wishes he was more a part of his own heritage. So that was interesting. John always comes off as just slick and natural no matter what I do with him. In my head he just is unflinchingly honest and himself and he applies himself fully to everything he does. He’s passionate without all the show and pizazz of the others. But I also haven’t read him as much as I wish I had. I mostly know him from the Justice League animated show. I adored him and I hated Batman lol. I didn’t feel any love for Bats until Kevin Conroy, go figure. I had a subscription for the DC comics app for a bit and the nearest comic shop to me is over an hour away. I just don’t make it out often enough to read the way I wish i could. For all my love of Green Lantern and space operas and Star Trek and the Lensman series and all that I’m actually not that well read. I feel like less of a fanatic fan and more like a Tik Tokker on a parade float; waving at the real fans and tossing the occasional, unsolicited WIP that’s promising but never finished.

Is it the imposter syndrome getting to me or is it the glaringly weak characterization im delivering staring me in the face? Eh. I enjoy writing. My amateur yet passionately created half-works be upon y’all.

To quote my fave, good old Henry (Rollins): “My mind is like a ball of Teflon; coated in obsidian and impervious to the uptake of ka-nah-ledge.” I feel that in my soul, i really do. Henry and I read and forget so much because it keeps the brain demons busy.

And so the reading/writing hour bell tolls and it’s time to get out of bed for another shift. Off I go!

as always, thanks for reading

#My writing #navel gazing I suppose

[allbeendonebefore]

it’s been brought to my attention that i am not albertan enough because i never learned how to dance cadillac ranch and im frightened that everyone i know will be activated when the song plays and i’ll be caught out as an imposter

#according to the article some learned it in grade 4 #which is when i left the country so i was never indoctrinated #yeah y yeah alberta #personal hapo

[dayjdontwakeme]

Philanthropist and self-proclaimed socialite {enters chat}

When do we become those people that lead zoom calls and mediate panel chats?? Asking for a friend

There is this mysterious condition called imposter syndrome and it is silent but deadly. Can we talked about it?? Why are the most successful in business also the best liar? I’m asking for a friend

This week I conquered a Goliath, in the form of a financial model. I was tasked with creating a model which considers historical data, can forecast out three year Profit & Loss, which considers change in headcount, pricing, revenue, overall growth etc. I even used REAL math (linear regression). And when time came to present to the whyte man….. I was afraid to take credit (crowd wow’s). If that wasn’t enough, I bit up my nails and picked at my hair continuously throughout this process. Now the white man owes me reparations on my edges too!!! And all for what? Did I think I did not deserve to be at that table? Was it in question if I was cable of designing such a complex tool?

If im honest, they didn’t think I could do it either

The more I listen and observe I’m starting to think these Zoom champions and microphone freaks are much better at acting than actually doing. We don’t need more skill, we need experience in impromptu story telling and giving sweet deceits.

And maybe (likely) I’ll never be that person. Anyway Yah willing , I’ll be found tending to my mango tree, philanthropizing, feeding people I love, and lending a listening ear. I’d like to be found encouraging my mate, praying in my garden, and writing on this blog, hosting a kid-free girlz night, or with my head in a really good book

Highlights of my life:

Fruit tray as an art form

Head wraps galore

Open mic night (working myself up)

One man, nine pups

The Ahk & his lil sexy ahh

Water yourself and you will grow

Prayer:

Most High Yah! I thank you and I praise you. If you never did another thing for me, you’d still be worthy of all of honor and glory. Father, I am struggling with anxiety, sometimes I’m short on confidence. There are days when I don’t feel worthy. I pray you will fill up my cup. Remind me of who I am and who’s I am. Give me peace of the Ruach Holy Spirit, and help me to prioritize my thoughts on the things of the Kingdom, and less on the things in the physical. Forgive me for my sins, and my thoughts that are not of you. Allow me to extend grace and understanding to other, just as you give grace freely to me. Thank you for sending your Son as a Holy example of how to love and live righteously. Help me to use your word as a guiding light, and place people in my path who will encourage and teach me so that I can be an encouragement and a teacher to those who are in need. Keep me pure in heart, strong in the mind, and healthy in my body. Cover and watch over my loved ones and friends. We thank you and praise you forever, Amen!

To whom it may concern, you’re worthy of your seat at the table. Yahusha, paid the price of debt in full. Water your garden and it will grow. And continue to believe what you do not yet see.

[jehovahhthickness]

Hi Auntie Hov! I feel like I could use some wisdom. I’ve messaged on anon before about losing by job and getting another one later. I was so happy at first after being out of work for a few months but I feel like I’ve been struggling lately. Its been 4 months at my new job and even though I have been doing my job to the best of my ability, I feel like I’m not good enough. I realized I had some trauma from being mistreated at my last job and that sometimes makes it hard for me to be objective when receiving feedback from my new boss. I feel like this is going to become another failure in whats becoming a pattern/line of failures and its been discouraging. I had hopped to use this job to help me get something better but now I’m feeling like if I can’t manage this, how will I do better? I’m in my mid 20s. I’ve been fully supporting myself since I left for college. I just want to make enough to pay my bills and stay a float and these days it feels like I may never get there. I know when it comes to doing what you need to do in life you can’t always be in your feelings. I used to be able to power through and persevere better than this it feels like. Now I just can’t stop wondering if I’ll ever make because I can’t seem to manage day to day life. I struggle with anxiety, depression, and adhd (all of which I take medication for) so I know that has some impact. But what about the parts that are just me? I’ve always been a good and hard worker, I struggled a little in school but could always make it work with good grades. I’d never had issues at work until starting my adult life and professional career. Now I can’t stop feeling like I can’t keep a job or find a career where I can be successful and it’s honestly impacting myself esteem a lot. I’m no longer confident in myself or my ability to do things and be successful which is something I always had. I know I’m smart but I don’t know if I’m capable. I grew up with a single mom and know what it’s like to struggle. I thought if I worked hard enough I could elevate my life and will never have to struggle the way we did growing up. Now I don’t how I’ll ever make it if I can’t even do what feels like a basic and simple job without issue. Im lost and sad Hov😣😔

I think you’re being too hard on yourself and I feel like you probably have a really bad case of imposter syndrome.

You need to get out of your head and just do the work. That’s it. Plain and simple. If you mess up, ok that’s fine, do better the next day and learn from your mistakes.

But life is not and shouldn’t be all that serious. Do you know how many successful people that still don’t know wtf they’re doing and they’re just faking it until they make it?

Clearly, you’re capable of achieving your goals. Bitches can’t even spell college degree!

Stop giving yourself this impending doom and thinking that you’re going to be unsuccessful when you didn’t even give yourself a chance!!!!!! Don’t count yourself out

[plume-tte]

This is my last semester. Hopefully ever. I’m aiming to graduate with high honors this upcoming spring.

I should be happy.

Every kid dreams of the day they will finally be done with school, right?

Me?

Im terrified.

Imposter syndrome might be worse than being a narcissist in the work force. Because at least they have a sense of purpose even if their work is trash.

Im worried I won’t be good enough. That I’ll disappoint my whole family for failing to find a job. That I’ll waste all my time and money during the “best age of my life” on some meaningless degree.

That I’ll fall out if love with my dream job of being an animator.

Oh how I wish I was a narcissist.

How unstoppable I would be then.

Applying to jobs left and right. No anxieties about whether I’m liked because I already think I’m the best. No worries if my work is good enough because I’m always perfect.

But instead,

I scroll and scroll through endless social media. Hoping that one video will snap me out of the paralysis I’ve found myself in yet again and I can finally start on my homework for the topic that I love. That I can finally find enjoyment in the learning process.

But no.

I scroll and scroll and scroll and suddenly it’s 2 am and I haven’t started my homework yet and I know this path won’t lead me towards my dreams but I keep following it because I know it’s safe and comfortable.

Life is never comfortable. At least the one I want to pursue.

One day I’ll make it there. But not today.

Today I will crawl back into my little hole where I can watch the others play on the other side of the glass wishing it was me.

#thoughts #adhd struggles #anxiety thoughts #writing thoughts #journal entry #animation student #imposter syndrome

[outcasting101]

Smoker Gems

“THAT WOULD BE ALL THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING”. Another day another bites the dust. I thought to myself as lit the cigarette. Sitting on the wooden supply box the scrape surface of it long used. I watch all the backstagger returning all the props back preparing for another performance tomorrow. 

Inhaling the familiar strawberry scent, ironic enough that you can taste the smell. I couldn't’ really do anything to help even when I wanted to they have surveillance everywhere, the manager doesn't like it when their Main star help such ‘Peasant’. What a self-entitled women. 

I observe closely. THeir movements are in sync, it is a shame the most talented person always played within a role that doesn’t shine their gift. Of course I was thankful to be placed within the main role, but often time Imposter syndrome gets to you when the media expects you to be the selfless icon you made yourself up to be. I hate how much my job depends on that image along with the people Im surround myself with. FUCK THIS SHIT. 

I take my napkin out of the pocket on the maid outfits. The designer at least did a great job creating astrology signs. I carefully pressed within the fold and lit it of planning to throw it away as I kept it in my pocket. 

I place my hand on my knee as I move forward to myself observing the scenery when someone comes up to me. How…particular. Excited smile, intern I see. 

“Hello My name is Fiona Rose and I’ll be your manager from now on. I have to say I'm a big fan of your work…You are far from what I expect”

I grin at the lady. Look like I broke out of character, the stage crew were made enough to not tattletale to any of us. Creepy how the manager just has that sum of money, couldn’t never be greedy when the rick is too high.

“Ahh yes apologize, not exactly expecting to meet any fan. Look like I broke a Bite off you hearti sweety” 

“Hahaha non at all, I was surprise. I see you are a smoker, i'm jealous despite being a smoker yourself, you have pretty face”

“Heh lucky genes I guess”

We both laugh it off before silence envelope. I suddenly felt uncomfortable at the gaze, I have face many fan throw even TOMATO how cliche can they be. Wouldn’t want ot make an enemy. I stood walking to the locker room with the manager tailoring behind me as I gather my thing int he locker. Photo and sticky note all the thign I must do in the eye of public. I took off and passed by my shoulder. As I took the head band, Il take of the maid dress at home. 

I walk close to the exit, I glance behind me and smirk. Look like today friends tomorrow enemy. 

“I’ll be seeing you around, you really are a BIG FAN”

#short story #original writing #idol #just watched #actor #personal improvement

[sloppythots-com]

innocent

a/n: i’ve been kinda busy lately, but i think im gonna have some more freetime starting on monday so hopefully i can write more! i wrote this a couple of hours ago but my computer stopped working? i think i fixed it though,,,

word count: 917

warnings: unedited, kinda eh writing, fluff

“hey guys,” you softly spoke, nervously rubbing your hands together. the gang all replied with their hello’s, to both you and their streams. you ran around the lobby, your flamingo hat bouncing with every step you took, “do you guys like my hat?”

“oh, y/n, very fashionable!” sean laughed, running around besides you. everyone hummed in agreement, watching as you stopped moving and stood next to corpse. 

“corpsie? what do you think?” your character moved closer to his with every word, your goggles touching. 

“it’s very cute, it really suits you,” he spoke under his breath towards the end, almost unintelligible. his voice was also softer than normal, almost like he was talking to a young child. 

you smiled, moving your character into his, “thank you corpse! you look very nice too~”

felix let out a gasp, “corpse! you bitch! cheating on sykkuno! i can’t believe this, wait till toast finds out…”

“wait what? no no there’s nothing betwe-” sykkuno replied, cut off by corpse before he could reply. 

“i would never cheat on sykkuno, now start the game,” chat for sure freaked out over that. 

and with that, the game started. “imposter” in big red text appeared on your screen, right about poki and you. you let out a small sigh, too nervous to say anything to chat. you stood in cafeteria for a second, watching closely as corpse ran in circles around your character. “i hope i don’t have to kill him, everyone will be disappointed,” you trailed off and made your way to storage - corpse following closely behind.

after faking gas and watching corpse do simon says, a body was found. 

“rae’s body was in o2, so who was on right?” sean questioned, doing his best to intimidate corpse. 

corpse sighed, “y/n and i were left the whole time, we didn’t see anyone, “ he paused for a second and let out a little laugh, “and you’re gonna kill your throat if you keep doing that man.” 

everyone else stated where they were, but no one was sus enough to be voted out. they did have some suspensions on poki, but she lied her way out of it. the next round started and corpse was following you again, watching the door to whatever room you two were in. sean ran into the two of you in admin and corpse watched him closely, following his every step. and finally, another body was reported. 

“sykkuno was in med on the scanner, i didn’t see anyone nearby,” pewds said, clearly disappointed sykkuno got murdered. 

“jesus i walked into admin and corpse was hardcore body guarding y/n-” sean mumbled, unable to finish his sentence thanks to you. 

“hey, wait a sec! where did you come from? like before admin? it looked like you came from cafe…” you trailed off, letting out a little ‘hmmm’. 

“yeah, sean, did you kill sykkuno? my sykkuno?” corpse raised his voice, ignoring the little laughs from his friends.

“what? no i would-”

“SPEEDRUNNNN!” felix and corpse yelled together, little ‘i voted’ stickers appearing next to their characters simultaneously. in the end, sean was ejected. only 4 more people to kill till you and poki won. 

the round started, and you and corpse made your way to navigation. suddenly, poki killed the lights. you smiled and watched as corpse made his way towards lights, while you stayed right in nav. leslie started walking down from weapons. you went into the hallway and killed her, and quickly ran to the vent and went to electrical acting like you were watching corpse and poki fix lights the entire time. 

suddenly, a meeting was called, “ok, who was on left before lights were called?” 

“oh, poki and i were in reactor,” charlie paused, “where was body?”

“it was right outside of nav, so you and poki are safe,” felix claimed, not knowing how wrong he was. 

“wait, i think i saw corpse and y/n come from the general direction...care to explain yourselves?” hopefully poki didn’t just accidentally throw you under the bus.

you cleared your throat and nervously spoke, making your voice a little higher to seem more innocent, “well, corpse and i were in nav then i left to lights, im assuming he just followed me.”

felix whispered a soft ‘speedrun’, repeating himself and slowly getting louder. 

“hey wait guys, i was with y/n for like the whole game and how do we know it’s not a self report?” corpse attempted to defend himself, it all meant nothing as felix explained that charlie saw him scan and that as soon as he wasn’t in your vision someone died. 

he was voted out, and no one was suspicious of you or poki. on the final round, you and her did a double kill and won, shocking everyone. 

“that was so stressful! corpse kept following y/n i have no idea how she did that!” poki screamed, praising you for your job well done. 

“im so sorry you had to kill everyone,” you giggled, “but i was having fun with corpsie as my body guard~”

“i had no idea it was you, y/n. maybe im just a silly goose,” corpse huffed, running around your character. everyone let out a little laugh, agreeing with him. 

“sorry, next game i’ll be your body guard to pay you back, ok?” you played with your hair, a dumb smile on your face. 

“no, i’ll protect you,” he mumbled quietly, voice gentle as your characters touched eyeballs.

taglist; @badroseee

#request #requests are open teehee #corpse husband x reader #corspe husband #corpse imagines #corpsey #corpse husband #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x reader #corpse husband fanfic #corpse #corpsefanfic #corpsehusband #egirls are ruining my life #cat girls are ruining my life

[stylistiquements]

𝓦𝓗𝓐𝓣 𝓘𝓕 you made some new friends and enemies today

As you joined the lobby, you entered the Discord server with hands that were shaking a little too much. Meeting new people almost sounded fun but you couldn’t help but wonder if they would like you or not. You knew they were genuinly cool people because they were Rae’s friends but keeping your calm was harder than it seemed.

“Guys this is my best friend Kiko” said Rae as cheerfully as one can be. You were greeted with a bunch of tangled “hellos” and “welcome” and you thanked yourself for never streaming with your camera on. That way, no one could see your blushing face. Shitposting on the internet was pretty fun, but it also showed to the world a side of your personality that was not totally the truth. In reality, you were way more shy than you liked to admit. 

As the small talks started to fade away, a new voice echoed through your ears. “Hi Kiko, it’s nice meeting you”. The world would recognize this voice among thousands. It was familiar since you binge-watched all of his horror story videos but hearing your name coming out of his mouth resonated differently. Still, you stuttered a “hello” without making any other remarks neither to your friends nor to your chat. Look at you being so respectful. 

“Ok, are you ready ?” asked Felix before pressing play. The famous Ssshhh obliged everyone to focus and the game was on.

As you ran into Corpse in medbay, you decided to chat for a bit. I guess it was only natural to be curious about such a deep and mysterious voice. How big of a surprise was it when the sharp tongue of his character pierced through your eyeball and cut you mid-sentence ? You gasped for air and immediately looked at your chat to see their reaction. It was flooded with people’s reaction. “I can’t believe he killed me so early in my first game you guys”. 

Corpse said “no more talking” THE AUDACITY The little chuckle after killing y/n GIRL IM SO SORRY YOU DIED Ludwig saw the kill and didn’t report. HE’S NOT EVEN IMPOSTER

Your ghost wandered around, watching Corpse and Ludwig’s little bean character interact with each other. “Why is Ludwig not reporting the kill” you asked your chat. “He really said I’ll never snitch on daddy, huh ?” while laughing at your own joke, which amused your viewers even more. Soon enough, Felix discovered your dead body laying on the ground.

“Who killed my best friend ?” Rae shouted as soon as the meeting started. Everyone gave their alibi and explained who they teamed up with. You had to listen to how well Corpse manipulated everyone. The way he lied, like it was his second nature, triggered your fight or flight response and oh dear, you were ready to fight. Cat girl, e girl ? No no Corpse, y/n was going to be the one ruining your life. You will have to take care of Ludwig too. 

Poor Corpse, you would have to hold grudges against anyone who would have killed you first, but it had to be him. You spent the rest of the game doing your tasks, making sure your plan was on point for the next round until eventually, a defeat picture popped on your screen. As soon as it ended, a new game began. This time, you were the imposter and thankfully, your partner in crime was none other than Rae. 

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ 

Masterlist | next |

A/N : Hi everyone. This is the first time I’m doing social media au, so I have no idea what I’m doing 💀 but I really hope you like it. Feel free to comment so I can improve next time ! If you have some request or things you would like to see feel free to comment it as well. Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse x y/n #corpse x you #corpse x reader #social media au #corpse social media au #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x reader #the way I was nervous to post this lmao

[free-pool-trash]

happiness - peter maximoff

yay a new peter fic <3 i was feeling a little unmotivated for a few days (since our boy wasn’t in episode 8 at all :/) but im back 😎 although im back in school so i might be on and off for a while 😩✋🏻

!!!it’s not a songfic those lyrics at the start are just my inspo!!!

word count: 5k <3 😳

warnings: maybe swearing but i dont think so i cant remember, peter being sad, angst, but mostly fluff, WandaVision spoilers maybe??? I pretty much made up this plot so idk, endgame spoilers, reader was an avenger, kissing but it’s not graphic😽 probably some mistakes yk how it is

feedback is appreciated <3

tagging: @enchantedcruelsummer (should i make a peter maximoff taglist? let me know and I’ll do it)

masterlist

haunted by the look in my eyes that would’ve loved you for a lifetime

leave it all behind

& there is happiness

Loneliness had always been something that plagued him. That and a plethora of other negative emotions.

There wasn’t a day that went by where Peter Maximoff wasn’t made to feel like a loser. Admittedly, he’d never held himself to a high standard, he grew up thinking that he’d never fit in anywhere and eventually that thought mutated into a lifestyle as he began isolating himself from the world around him, either far too good or heartbreakingly not enough to be a part of that crowd.

He liked spending time with himself. Nobody else knew him the way he knew him, and still, he found nothing but an overwhelming hollow space where his deepest most important hopes, aspirations, dreams and self discoveries should have resided.

Peter had always put this feeling of exile down to the fact that he was a mutant, it was the most likely explanation, right?

It was only when he’d decided to join the X-Men that he finally came to the conclusion that maybe the rest of the world wasn’t the problem, nor was his mutation the problem, but that he himself was the problem. For even in a school full of people exactly like him he was still the same loser that he was in his mother’s basement.

And he was under no illusions that that was exactly what his teammates saw in him; nothing. No potential. Just a space holder to bring the numbers up.

Super speed was incredible. That’s how Peter acknowledged jobs well done, he praised his speed but never himself. He just saved Charles and Erik from a room full of armed guards? No that wasn’t him, that was simply his speed. He saved an entire mansion full of people from a potentially fatal explosion? Nothing special, Kurt probably could’ve done the same.

Forget all of the good deeds and saved lives because the bottom line of it all, to him at least, was that all he was good for was cheeky one liners and hopeless kleptomania.

His life took a turn for the worse when he found himself being mind controlled in an alternate universe. And even then, he was playing the part of someone that wasn’t him, the thought humbled him, reconnected him to his roots and reintroduced him to his life long philosophy that he’d never be anything more than a social pariah. Not even an alternate reality could accept him for who he was. There wasn’t a warm welcome and despite not knowing what was going on, the definition of “imposter” or the weirder, “recast”, still shot to kill.

He settled on the notion that he was an inter dimensional waste of space. At least in WestView he could be blissfully ignorant, let the real him be drowned mercilessly in favour of being an integral part of someone’s life- to feel important, even if it wasn’t real.

When WestView fell apart he was completely lost. In every sense of the word. In a new world with no way home and as it turned out, nobody was looking for him. Although he didn’t expect anyone to care, it still stung that nobody did. He always hoped that one day Erik would step up as a father figure for him, this; getting kidnapped and smuggled into a different dimension, seemed like the perfect moment for that epic father son moment, but it wouldn’t surprise Peter if his father has yet to notice his disappearance.

But then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came into contact with a beacon of hope. A guiding star that might possibly lead him to an existence consisting of something other than misery and self loathing.

It offered him a choice; return to being the self proclaimed loser he was known as or start fresh as someone new and mysterious, with first impressions yet to be made and conclusions about him yet to be drawn. Peter had known himself to be rash in the past, when it came to making decisions he had the tendency to act impulsively, never putting too much thought into how his decisions would affect his life in the long term. The choice before him now is no different, he knew exactly what he wanted going forward, however selfish the choice may have been, the second he realised it was an option his heart was set on it.

That previously mentioned beacon of hope arrived to him in the form of a girl, in the form of you. An ex-avenger and close friend of Wanda’s, you were hired by S.W.O.R.D to help them clean up the more ‘sensitive’ fallout that the fall of WestView brought about. Obviously, they were sticking you- the only other avenger with magik- on babysitting and rehabilitation rather than letting you go after your best friend who had gone completely off the rails. Having said that though, you didn’t want anyone else handling him.

You hadn’t watched WandaVision, nor were you even aware that any of it was going on until it had reached a boiling point and you got a call from Monica Rambeau, she’d begged you to come and wait on the edge of town while she went in and act as her eyes on the outside along with Jimmy Woo.

That’s where you stayed until the hex broke down.

As soon as the barrier came down the base you manned was overrun by an armada of terribly confused and distressed citizens, Monica and Wanda were not among them but in their places stumbled in Darcy and the man playing the role of Pietro.

Jimmy appointed himself to Darcy, who in all honesty seemed relatively unscathed by the situation while you made a beeline for the dirty blonde charading as your former, dead teammate.

Peter was, to put it simply, completely enthralled by you as soon as you’d strolled over to him and in the moment he’d put his almost magnetic attraction to you down to the fact that you were the first friendly face he’d seen upon breaking free of Agatha’s possession.

But one thing in particular struck him; you’d asked him his name. You hadn’t immediately assumed him to be some knock off Pietro, as everyone else had. You acknowledged that he had his own personal identity and despite how often he caught himself hating the person he was, he found that when it was torn away from him that he wanted it back. The simple question you posed gave him the opportunity to regain his identity.

“Peter. My name is Peter.” He answered you, almost unsure of himself and you found your interest in the man piqued even further.

He remembered with perfect clarity the way you’d offered him a grin, tilted your hand, extended your hand and said, “Well it’s nice to meet you, Peter. Come on, I’ll be your babysitter for the next while.” There was something about the way you’d laughed after saying the words and the slight, yet unmistakable, glint of mischief in your eyes that had him captivated from the get go.

With you came a whirlwind of new emotions. After only a few weeks of knowing you, Peter noticed he wasn’t as lonely as he had been back home. He didn’t hate himself half as much either, he wasn’t entirely free of self deprovative tendencies and maybe he never would be, but undoubtedly, he likes himself more in this world than he ever had in his last. He thanked you and your determination to make him “a functioning member of society” for that.

It didn’t feel belittling, the way you helped him. You hadn’t dragged him to your favourite mall every weekend just to taunt him about how he couldn’t stop himself from stealing something. Even the very first time, when he’d sped away from you and returned within a second adoring a pair of freshly stolen sunglasses. Your only reaction had been to laugh and casually place your hands on both sides of his face.

“At least remember to take the tag off next time, speedy.” You’d muttered, subtly pulling the tacky stickers off the arms of his shades. No, you weren’t dragging him sight seeing or forcing him to help you go clothes shopping because you thought he was a loser who needed reforming you were doing it because you were a true friend who wanted him to succeed.

The pair of you seemed like two peas in a pod. Which to be fair, you were. Peter Maximoff intrigued you in every sense of the word. He was new, quite literally other worldly, he was kind, he was funny, he was perfectly mischievous and completely wonderful.

What caught your eye the most was the way he held himself, as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his own skin. It became apparent to you that he lacked confidence with the phrases he usually tacked onto the ends of his sentences. When you’d invite him to hang out in the beginning his response would always be something along the lines of, “Sure. If you want me to.” But the excitable puppy dog eyes told you that he was dying for someone to want him to tag along some place.

There was a certain understanding between you. You were both more than accustomed with the harrowing feeling of being alone and even though you’d never exactly voiced those thoughts with each other, you couldn’t deny that his was a spirit kindred to your own and he felt it too.

Since the Avengers has disbanded, one of your best friends, Natasha, was dead and your other best friend, Wanda, was gone completely off the rails and the people chasing her wouldn’t let you anywhere near her or even attempt to help pull her out of her darkness. You were being kept as a wildcard in case they needed her taken down. Peter was no stranger to the feeling of being cast aside and so he quickly responded to your frustrations, and in doing so, forced himself out of his comfort zone to be there for you. To his complete shock though, you’d been so appreciative of his efforts.

You never failed to thank him for the little things he did for you, always complimenting his mutation when he’d use it and giving him the recognition he never received at home. The friendship he formed with you was so… two sided, again, something he wasn’t accustomed to before. It didn’t involve him giving everything he had to offer and receiving nothing in return, you matched his energy meticulously and never left him hanging.

In a series of firsts, he didn’t wonder whether or not you genuinely liked him, never feeling the need or want to question it as you’d left him with no reason to doubt.

As he walked around the mall with you now, his mind brought his attention back to the question you’d asked him rather casually a few nights ago. You were both lounging on your couch, watching some ridiculous reality show (a favourite of yours and Peter’s) when you’d turned your head to look at him, a thoughtful look on your face. “Do you think when S.W.O.R.D figures the technology out to crack into other realities, you’ll go back to yours?”

The question had taken him aback for a second, in all honesty, he hadn’t thought about going home, not when he was with you at least and considering he’d become your roommate about three weeks after he got out of WestView, the thought of returning to his old life had barely crossed his mind.

Being an ex-Avenger you were fairly well off, you lived alone in a two bedroom apartment in New York that you’d bought to be closer to Stark tower. Peter had nowhere to go and aside from having a spare room to offer you’d also been sort of lost in the current of the busy city with everyone you once loved in the area either dead, on the run or busy elsewhere.

While the question hadn’t crossed Peter’s mind, it had crossed yours on several occasions. He’d been staying with you for six months and the moment you realised that he was becoming one of the most important people in your life, the thought of him leaving you too weighed on your mind but at the end of the day you wanted him to feel happy. He deserved to feel happy and if going back to his reality brought him that happiness then you’d support him.

“Dunno,” he’d replied, turning to face you, chucking a handful of popcorn at you when you looked incredulous at his response, “To be honest I haven’t really thought about it, m’way too busy babysitting you anyway.” He joked, effortlessly dodging the few pieces of popcorn you attempted to throw at him.

For the last few nights, the question haunted him, but it wasn’t just the question that was bothering him. You were at the forefront of his mind as he replayed the past six months of his life which also happened to be the best six months of his life. WestView put him through hell but coming out the other side of it and meeting you felt like heaven.

He weighed up the pros and cons of returning to his native timeline. The cons: he’d have to leave you behind, he’d go back to being the loser who nobody took seriously, his talents would be downplayed and disregarded and he’d inevitably end up revisiting his lifestyle of solitude. Then there was the pros: he’d get to reunite with his pac man machine. He couldn’t manage to think up anything else.

If he stayed he’d have everything he ever wanted and needed. You’d be there and he knew you always would be, besides he couldn’t leave you knowing that you needed him. If he left who would wake you up when you had night terrors about the catastrophe that your reality was still recovering from? There would be nobody there to comfort you when you woke up from the nightmares, reliving the deaths of Natasha, Tony or Vision and the experience of being snapped out of existence? If he wasn’t there to make you laugh when you were about to cry then who would be? In his heart of hearts he knew you had a huge support system at your disposal, he’d met most of them. Even though he was well aware that Sam visited you as often as he could, that Bucky wrote you letters on a monthly basis and sometimes tagged along with Sam on his visits, that Stephen Strange appeared in your apartment whenever the urge struck him, that the literal god of thunder invited you out for beer whenever he was visiting Earth, that the little spider-kid, also named Peter, swung by your apartment at least once a week to tell you all about school and his good deeds. Despite knowing all of this and knowing all of these people loved you dearly, Peter wanted to be your main source of support, he didn’t want to be someone who came and went, who’d love you then leave you. He wanted to be with you through anything and everything and the feeling that you’d love him for a lifetime had him satisfied with the decision he was about to make.

If leaving his old life meant he could stay here, with you, and experience happiness for more than a fleeting moment then he’d simply; leave it all behind.

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me the other night.” He spoke through a mouthful of curly fries. You were sitting in the food court of the mall when he decided to let you in on his desire to stay with you indefinitely.

You raised your eyebrow, “You? Putting thought into an answer? Peter, I think I’m starting to become a bad influence on you.” You told him teasingly, taking a long sip of your drink as he rolled his eyes humorously.

“You’re a terrible influence which is exactly why I’ve decided to stay here and put you on the straight and narrow.” The glee you felt at his statement was undeniable, your eyes lit up and your lips curled upwards.

“You’re staying? Really staying?” Your smile was contagious, Peter’s face now painted with a wide grin as he nodded his head.

In a moment of weakness he frantically added, “Y’know only if you want me to though. If you don’t that’s completely cool.” He rushed through the words, feeling more embarrassed when the fond look on your face never faded.

“Of course I want you to stay. You mean a lot to me.” You reassured him, a gentle smile on your lips as you reached across the metal table, intertwining your fingers with his.

Peter squeezed your hand gratefully, holding it in his grasp securely and allowing his smile to return to his face, “I know. You mean a lot to me too.” It was somewhat of an understatement, he was starting to understand that you didn’t just mean a lot, but that you meant everything.

His resolution lifted a huge weight off your shoulders that you wouldn’t be losing yet another best friend. You were glad he’d be with you when everything blew over with Wanda, the two of them definitely had the potential to develop a beautiful sibling relationship and they both deserved that. Of course, Peter would never replace Pietro and having known them both it was obvious just how different the two men were, the only thing they had in common being their powers and last name. Still, he and Wanda would still be able to work on it. He didn’t hate her after WestView and you knew Wanda well enough to know that she was kind hearted and she’d be more than willing to give him a chance. When she eventually comes back to her senses, that it.

As the months went on, life with you and Peter seemed to only get better. You never stopped laughing, your nightmares died down and Peter had taken on a whole new lease of life. Yourself and Peter were the perfect example of meeting the right person at the right time, you balanced each other out and accentuated the other’s good qualities.

Peter could now say with complete confidence that he was happy and what’s more is that he was finally sure that he was making someone happy.

Up until nearly eleven months of living together your relationship had been purely platonic, save for the constant flirting but flirtation pretty much ran in yours and Peter’s blood. Peter wasn’t going to lie to himself, he’d fallen for you the second you’d peeled the security tags off his stolen sunglasses.

You, on the other hand, had been fighting with yourself because yes, you love Peter but you couldn’t have told him when there was the possibility he’d eventually leave and now so much time has passed and you’ve got such a good thing going you didn’t have it in you to ruin it.

However, all of that changed when your original Maximoff best friend came knocking on your door.

Wanda was on the run. She’d caused an amazing amount of chaos but Stephen Strange and S.W.O.R.D were hot on her trail and now she needed a place to lay low with the twins. She figured there was no place more reliable to go than to the always open arms of her best friend, who conveniently had a divinity for earth magik and could muster up a protective barrier without raising suspicions. And that’s exactly where she found herself; outside your door.

You’d been chasing Peter around the apartment when you heard the knock on the door. Peter was on the opposite end of the kitchen to you, using the bar as a shield from you. “You better get that.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” You glared as you spoke, it was his own fault really. What sort of idiot jumpscares a witch while she’s mid-meditation? He’d frightened you so badly you accidentally blasted a ball of your signature green energy and ruined your favourite couch throw pillow. When you were ready to pounce on the scared speedster the knocks sounded again, more frantic this time.

With one last glare towards Peter you stomped towards the door. Your anger melted away completely when you saw her. Her hood was up and she looked completely exhausted, two small hooded little boys by her side.

“Wanda…” You breathed out, relief flooding your system at the sight of her alive. She didn’t get a chance to speak before your arms were pulling her against you tightly, hugging her as if your life depended on it. Wanda returned in your embrace, allowing herself to relax for the first time in nearly a year, she sniffled against your shoulder, holding back tears as she realised how much she’d truly missed you.

Billy and Tommy watched in confusion as their mother cried into your shoulder. They didn’t know who you were, all their mother had told them was that they were going somewhere safe.

It was the yell of one of the boys that caused you and Wanda to separate, “Uncle P!” With that you felt a familiar rush of air across your leg but instead of Peter appearing one of the kids was gone.

You shared a perplexed look with Wanda, although your confusion was for different reasons.

“Hey hell raisers!” Peter responded, catching the mini speedster who all but threw himself at him barely regaining his balance before the other child had flung himself into the hug.

“Wanda? Those two… are they...?” You started, at a loss for words Wanda cut you off quietly, her tone as disbelieving as yours.

“My children? Yes. Is that…?” You nodded your head numbly, anticipating the end of her question.

“Your fake brother? Yeah.” Quickly, you realised you and a wanted woman catching up with the door wide open wasn’t ideal and you ushered Wanda inside, shutting the door when she walked in.

“Hey.” Peter greeted her simply, as if he hadn’t been used as a meat puppet in her altered reality. It wasn’t in his nature to hold any grudges.

“Hi?” Wanda replied, her voice still twinged with confusion.

“Peter, will you keep an eye on the kids for a bit? Wanda and I have some catching up to do.” You asked him with a nervous laugh, just thankful that Wanda was too tired to argue with your suggestion.

Peter ruffled the boys’ hair and gave you a grin, “Only if you stop trying to kill me.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to lead Wanda into your bedroom, “You’re on probation, jerk.” You called over your shoulder.

Once you were securely in your bedroom, the door locked and sitting comfortably you fixed Wanda with an amused look, “I’d ask you what’s new but I’m not sure I even wanna know.”

Wanda gave you a sad smile while she shook her head, “No, you probably don’t. I will tell you tomorrow, I don’t want to get into it tonight. I’m so tired.” She admitted, her voice overcome with sadness.

“I’ll pump up the air mattress and you and the boys can sleep in here for however long you need. I’d offer you the spare room but that’s where Peter’s been staying and I don’t think empty food containers are the kind of decor you’d be into.” Wanda nodded, squeezing your hand gratefully.

“So his name is Peter?” She asked, curious about the man Agatha had used to trick her in WestView.

You nodded in confirmation, “Yeah. Peter Maximoff, actually.”

Wanda’s brows came to a furrow at that, “Maximoff? So he’s a relation?”

“Yes and no. Peter is from a different reality but he’s still a Maximoff and he’s got super speed. So, and this is just my theory, while you’re not directly related he could still be your brother- if you wanted him to.” You explained, as gently as you could, not trying to push her too far but to nudge the idea in her direction.

Wanda, to your surprise, didn't seem to hate the suggestion, “What is he like?”

A genuine smile made it onto your face then, as you shot into your description of your roommate, “He’s caring, funny, a little bit of a kleptomaniac but he’s working on it. He’s understanding and moronically selfless, moronic in the sense that he doesn’t even realise he’s being selfless. Huge pain in the ass too.” Wanda had a soft smile on her face by the time you’d finished.

“You like him.” Was all she said and you let out a laugh in disbelief, standing up and opening the door.

“Go grab a shower. I’ll have Peter blow up the air mattress while I go introduce myself to my god sons.”

“I thought you’d at least wait until I actually asked you.” Wanda laughed as you walked out of the room.

Things moved fairly quickly after that. As promised you introduced yourself to Billy and Tommy as their god mother, which they seemed more than thrilled about and you assumed that excitement had to do with whatever description of you Peter had given them. Wanda and the twins were all cleaned and fed and had all but collapsed into bed, foregoing the air mattress and huddling together in your double bed instead.

“Where are you sleeping, mother Teresa?” Peter teased as he noticed your eyes drooping where you stood.

“On the couch probably. Or the air mattress.” You mumbled, cutting yourself off with a yawn.

Peter, unimpressed with your options, scoffed, “No way. Come on, you can bunk with me.”

Much like Wanda, you were too tired to argue and you let Peter pull you to his, surprisingly clean, room by the hand.

You both crawled into the bed, lying close together despite the amount of empty space on the mattress.

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Your soft voice broke through the silence and Peter turned his head to look at you.

“About Wanda?” You nodded your head, watching him intently as he rolled onto his side, facing you more comfortably.

Peter shrugged lightly, “I’m feeling ok. Just glad the twins still see me as their cool uncle.” You let out a small laugh at his response.

“Wanda was asking about you. Seemed interested in getting to know the real you.” You informed him, your heartwarming as you watched a hopeful look fall across his face.

A lull settled over the room once again and Peter caught himself staring at you. His eyes drifted over every visible part of you, reminding him of most of the points on his pros list for staying in your universe; your eyes, your lashes, your nose, your lips, you.

“What’re you thinking about?” The sound of your tired voice pulled him out of his thoughts and ultimately pushed him to bite the bullet and tell you how he’s feeling. With you curled up beside him, in his bed, fighting sleep just to stay in his company for as long as you could; he knew there would be no better time.

“Just about how happy I am to be here with you.” He answered you honestly, the butterflies in both of your stomachs fluttering in sync at his words.

You trailed a hand under the duvet and onto the bedsheets between your bodies, feeling around until you found his hand and gently intertwined your fingers. “I’m happy you decided to stay.”

“What you’ve all gone through in this timeline sucks- don’t get me wrong-“ Peter started sincerely, scooting closer to you and dropping his head back down on the edge of your pillow, leaving the pair of you practically nose to nose as he went on.

“And I hate that Wanda had to go through so much… but I’m really glad that it led me to you.” Peter swore in that moment, right after the confession left his mouth, that he could die right now and be completely content knowing that you now knew how he felt.

His heart stopped, and he thought that maybe he was about to die, when you gave him the softest, sweetest smile he’d ever been on the receiving end of and whispered, “I feel the same.”

Time moved in slow motion as he felt you moving your intertwined hands towards your lips, your lips pressed gently against the back of Peter’s hand before you brought them to rest against your chest.

It was a fact to say that Peter Maximoff had never felt intimacy quite like this before. But, experiencing it now, with you, led him to wonder how he’d ever survived without it. He wasn’t sure whether it was natural to crave more, especially when the affection you were showing him was so gentle, but he didn’t care as he let the impulsive side of him take over.

Not sparing another word, Peter closed the small distance between your lips and his. His free hand cupped your jaw while yours wasted no time in getting tangled in his silver hair.

His lips moved softly and surprisingly slowly over yours and he savoured the feeling of your hand holding his while your other got lost in his hair, your body pressed up against him, the way your jaw moved against his palm as you reciprocated the movement of his lips and the taste of your lips, promising himself he’d never let the memory slip from his mind for as long as he lived.

With complete clarity, Peter could say he had felt true, genuine happiness and he had no doubt in his mind that there was absolutely nothing Charles, Hank, Scott or anyone else from his original timeline could say to make him leave this happiness behind. Because in the process of forgetting his old life, he couldn’t deny that he has undoubtedly found himself in the position of a man who had so much more to live for.

#peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wandavision x reader #wandavision spoilers #x men x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #mcu #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader

[techsriduur]

♡︎ rain & tears | [T.H]

paring | tom holland x reader

request/prompt | “could you do a tom holland x reader | You stayed in bed with blanket as you got tears in your eyes, feeling a bit down. It was bit raining outside. Tom got back home looking for you. Tom found you in bed, cuddling on her back, as you couldn't look at him. Tom looked at you said what wrong, you wouldn’t wanna talk about it”

warnings | mentions of depression and imposter syndrome, worried/upset tom

a/n | i accidentally deleted the ask for this :,) so i hope you get to see this anon!! thank you for the request <3

the rain pattered hard against the widows of you and Toms shared apartment, the sound somewhat resembling small rocks being thrown at the glass. your small whimpers and cries filled the air around you, while your arms laid wrapped around one of toms pillows.

you honestly didn’t know why you were crying. you and tom had an amazing day, albeit a lazy one. you had both woken up late, after which he made you both a lovely breakfast which consisted of bacon and eggs - which he burnt both of, but its the thought that counts - and you had spent the rest of the day cuddled underneath each others arms as you watched netflix on his flatscreen.

but somehow, despite all that, you still felt like absolute shit.

this happened sometimes, you knew that, but there was always something that triggered it. whether is was the coffee machine randomly breaking, you fucking up an important scene, or just being away from tom for an extended period of time. it has never happened so suddenly without cause. so, you found yourself here. sobbing into your boyfriends pillow while he was out getting your groceries. and god, you felt guilty.

you know you shouldn’t, you can’t control the fact you’re like this, but a part of you feels bad for him. why the hell should he have to put up with you? he’s an actor for fucks sake, he could literally date anyone, and yet he chose you. and while that should comfort you, it does literally the exact opposite. you constantly feel like you don’t deserve him, that he’s too good for you - and you know that he loves you and you love him, but your brain still repetitively tells you such terrible lies. your thoughts were interrupted however, when you heard the front door open and your boyfriend calling out for you.

“y/n, im home!” you could hear him putting down the bags on the kitchen floor, but in all honestly you didnt have the energy to respond. shit, you barely had enough energy to panic about him walking in on you crying. “y/n? where are you?” tom spoke from across the apartment. you could hear a slight panic in his voice, which is made more clear when you hear his steps speed up, opening every door in the house trying to find you. every bone in your body wanted to run to him, to seek him out and just cry. for him to comfort you like he always does. but you just couldn’t. finally, you hear tom opening the door to your bedroom. cuddling further under the blankets, you try your best to hide the fact you had been crying not even five minutes ago.

“darling, are you alright?” he speaks ever so softly as he walks over to you with caution. of course, he immediately notices the fact you had been bawling your eyes out. his irises immediately filled with nothing but concern and worry, as he hopped onto the bed beside you, patting your back gently. “you alright? do you wanna talk about it?” he asked gently, treading the waters, trying to see if you’d open up. when you responded only via shaking your head, he snuggled under the blankets with you, hugging you from behind, he spoke again softly, “thats okay. i’ll be here when you need me.” before hugging you closer, pulling your hands into his.

“thank you..” you murmured softly from under the blankets, before snuggling your back into him, and falling asleep slowly but surely. the grocery bags forgotten in the kitchen, all that mattered in this moment was you and him. and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the word.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland angst #tom holland x y/n #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Deviating from game mechanics a bit for the sake of pain/drama, but hopefully that's a worthy enough cause... How about, an Impostor stabs Tango and leaves him for dead, but due to some glitch or stroke of (luck? bad luck?), Tango doesn't die right away. Through the pain and the confusion of absorbing what just happened, he manages to survive just long enough to tell somebody who the killer is...or not quite long enough to get the words out. You decide. :)

i genuinely think you read my mind LMAO bc i was writing something very similar to this but with different people involved, so thank you bc now i get to explore a different idea with those people :D /gen

...

It’s near the end of the round and there’s a lot of crewmates left. One imposter has already been ejected, so Tango feels more comfortable going into navigation by himself than usual. He usually tries to get a buddy to come with him to either electrical or navigation, or the “kill-spots” as he calls them. But this time, he doesn’t feel as nervous as usual. His chance of getting killed here has halved after the last meeting.

As he finishes his download and heads over to the console to do the stabilise steering task. Footsteps catch his ears and he glances over to find someone he believes to be a friend entering the room.

“Oh hey, Impulse. Can you-.”

But he never finishes his sentence.

Impulse’s dagger strikes Tango in the stomach, causing him to choke in shock and pain. He drops to his knees, his hands automatically flying to cover the wound. His stomach is wet and sticky under his touch.

He closes his eyes, letting himself flop against the wall. The pain is immense and he just wants it to stop.

But it doesn’t.

Seconds tick by.

A minute.

Three minutes.

He’s still here.

Why hasn’t he died yet? This has never happened before.

After what feels like years, he forces his eyes open and slowly pushes himself upwards. If he’s not going to die and nobody’s coming to help him, then all he can do is go find help for himself.

Keeping his left hand pressed against his wound, Tango uses the wall to drag himself to the door, leaving smudged bloodstains in his wake.

The journey from navigation towards cafeteria is long and arduous, not least because Tango’s addled brain has to concentrate on so many things: putting one foot in front of the other, remembering to breathe, keeping his hand clamped tightly around his leaking wound, making sure he’s watching where he’s going.

He makes it into the corridor just between weapons and cafeteria before his strength fails and he collapses against the wall. As he glances back the way he came, he can see a long trail of blood from navigation. Maybe that will alert someone to his presence.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, he hears pounding footsteps and a familiar voice calling his name.

Through his flickering vision, he sees Evil kneel down beside him, staring in horror at the blood covering Tango’s clothes and abdomen.

He tries to speak, but he can’t quite manage any words.

“Tango, stay with me!” Evil says urgently. “Stay with me!”

Tango knows he can’t stay awake much longer, so he pours all his remaining energy into opening his mouth and trying to croak out the name of his killer.

Evil turns his head to the side and yells, “I NEED HELP HERE! SOMEONE HELP!”

Within seconds, Brody appears from around the corner and dashes to Evil’s side. “Oh my god, what happened?!”

“I don’t know, I-I just found him like this. There’s a trail of blood from navigation, so I-I think he’s been like this for a while.”

“How is this possible? When someone gets stabbed or shot, they die within seconds. How has this happened?”

“I don’t know, but-.”

Tango coughs. “Im…”

“He’s trying to say something.” Brody grips Tango’s shoulder. “Save your strength, Tango. We’re gonna get you through this.”

But Tango knows that’s not true. So he reaches out for Evil’s hand and grasps it weakly, trying to convey the importance of his message. “Im… Impu…” he manages to choke out.

The effort drains Tango’s remaining strength. His head tilting slightly to the side, he lets out a final shallow breath and his hand drops to the floor.

“Oh God…” Evil murmurs, staring in shock at the blood on his hand.

“Are you okay?” Brody asks quietly.

Evil takes a deep breath. “I’ll be fine for now. But you heard that too, right? He was trying to say Impulse’s name.”

“He was. Impulse must be the imposter.”

“But are we allowed to use this knowledge?”

Brody glances at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this has never happened before,” Evil explains. “Like you said, people normally die within seconds. Nobody’s ever been able to survive long enough to tell us who the killer is. So are we allowed to use Tango’s dying words as evidence against Impulse?”

Brody thinks about this for a moment, before checking his tablet. “It looks like we’ve only got one or two tasks left, so…”

As if on cue, the taskbar fills up and the game finishes.

When he reappears back in the lobby, Tango stays in his seat, lifting up his shirt just to check that his wound is gone, just like he always does when he dies during a round. He feels perfectly normal, apart from the beginnings of a headache at the very back of his head.

His stomach is clear and unblemished.

Dropping his shirt, he hops up from his seat and is immediately grabbed in a hug from either side by Evil and Brody.

“Tango, are you okay, buddy?” Brody asks.

Tango nods. “Yeah, all good. Why?”

Brody and Evil exchange a frown. “What do you mean?” the latter says slowly. “We saw you bleed to death in front of us.”

“Wait, really?” Tango also frowns. “I don’t remember that. Impulse stabbed me, and that’s the last thing I remember. Pretty normal.”

As Evil opens his mouth again, Brody quickly says, “Okay, good, give us a second please, thanks.”

He draws Evil away to the other side of the lobby and lowers his voice. “Okay, this is weird. Tango doesn’t remember anything unusual happening. If it was some kind of glitch that caused Tango to not die straight away, then it also must’ve erased his memory of it.”

“Then why do we remember?” Evil responds.

“I don’t know, but this is kinda worrying. Keep an eye out for anything like this happening again in future, okay? Even if you’re the imposter, just come to me if you can and let me know. I’ll do the same even if I’m imposter.”

Evil nods. “Will do. Hopefully it won’t happen again, though.”

Brody glances back at Tango, who’s now chatting happily with Impulse. The memory of Tango bleeding out on the floor right in front of him is fresh in his mind. This may be a game about death but that was new. That was deeply unsettling. And even though Tango doesn’t seem to remember the incident, Brody would rather not have him or anyone else go through that again.

“Yeah. Hopefully.”

#friday night stabby #tangotek #evilnotion #brodyman #vaunna’s requests

[ewritesthangs]

I really love your last corpse fic, it was really soft and comforting. For your next drabble, could your write something about playing video games with him?

Giggles filled the apartment as you squirmed. You were being tickled by your boyfriend, Corpse. He only smirked and continued on with his torture. Fingers tickling you, causing you to squeal.

"I give! Please!" He stops his torture and let's you regain your composure.

"I win. Means you play with me."

"Alright alright. I'll play a game. Just nothing thats gonna scare the piss out of me. Mark did that to me once and let me tell you he got a black eye from my head."

"Noted." He chuckles and kisses your forehead.

"Lips down here." He licks his lips before pressing a soft, supple kiss to your lips. He rubs your noses together.

"You make me happy."

"I love you, sappy dork."

"I love you more."

"Lets not rehash this argument." You giggle and sit up slowly.

"Lets playyyyy um hmmmm, among us?"

"Again?"

"Its so fun!"

"True. True. Okay. But I only have my phone."

"Come play as me, with me, while I'm playing with the guys."

"Okay." You shrug, agreeing. Wanting to be engulfed in his embrace for a few hours. You could never get enough of him in any way. Him holding you, singing to you, being with you. You guys walk together to his recording room. You waddle inside, waiting for him to sit so you could sit.

He opens his discord and the game. You hear Sean first. Then felix.

"Fucking hell he better not kill me first this time."

"I will. Don't you worry your little butt, Jack." Felix laughed out.

"Hey guys! Did you miss me?"

"Hey Y/N/N! Where is your-?"

"I'm playing with corpse. Im staying with him so he said I could play as him."

"Hey guys. Im here."

"Hes being kind enough to let me play a little as him. Hes gonna help me win." You giggle maliciously.

"I did not like that laugh." Sean says with a chuckle.

"Here we go, 2 imposters in one avi." Felix beams, sarcasm lacing his voice.

"Be happy youre graced with my presence." You smirk.

"Alright true." Sykkuno was always so nice.

Shhhhhhhh

Crewmate

2 imposters among us

You were running around, doing some tasks. You make Corpse do the card swipe so he got more practice. He gets it the first try. "Good job babe! I'm so proud!" You beams, sarcasm lacing your voice.

"Yeah I owned that shit. Watch out, I sus Toast."

"Dont you like always sus toast?" His hand lays atop yours while you are using the mouse. He helps you get the asteroids for thats always your hardest one to do. You don't get killed but Sean did and Sykkuno reports the body.

"I sus Corpse. They have been faking tasks." Felix says.

"Have not! We've been doing tasks all along. Im just bad at asteroids so Corpse here is helping me." You pout.

"I'm only joking Y/N. Calm down." He chuckles.

"Okay where is the body?"

"By the gas tank thing. Bottom left storage."

"Toast has been acting weird." Corpses voice booms through the mess of people talking. He stays silent for a moment.

"I've been doing card swipe."

"Hey thats my line." Corpse laughs out.

"But I was actually doing it. I was in admin. Charlie can vouch for me."

"Actually i dont remember seeing you but its possible." Greaseball states.

"Were voting toast!"

"No don't do it."

"Speedrun!"

"I'm going for blood." The familiar Irish accent cheers.

Toast was ejected .

You take your avi over to electrical where Charlie was. He alone. Then Sean comes in and does the lights. Once you finish your tasks you leave, but the doors are closed.

"Oh my God were gonna die! Charlie no!" You scream, in hopes that, telepathically you can get him to not kill you. He doesn't but a body was found and reported by Sean.

"Rae, care to explain what just happened?"

"Uh you killed poki."

"Uh no. You did. I saw it with mine own eyes."

"Guys he stabbed poki! I saw it happen!"

"Ummmmmm uh yeah I dont know who to believe. Corpsey?"

"Hmmm, I believe Sean. I saw Rae acting sus awhile ago."

"Yeah thats right!" Sean yells. Corpse pulls your hand towards Rae and votes for Rae to be booted off. So does everyone else.

Valkyrae was ejected.

Victory.

"I knew it!" You clap happily, wiggling in Corpses lap. He chuckles and kisses your head.

"You're too cute. I love you." You gasp.

"Wait, you do?"  You feign innocence.

"Uh yeah? How could I not?"

You blush and turn to press a kiss to his lips. "Feelings mutual."

"They do know they're unmuted right?"

Tag List: @the0nlychrissy

#corpse husband imagine #corpse husband

[17tetsuro]

could u do fake dating headcanons where they slowly fall for u w atsumu, kenma & oikawa,, gn pronounces are fine :)

haikyuu boys slowly falling for you (fake dating edition) (gn!reader)

feat: atsumu, kenma, oikawa

warnings: fake dating, abuse of cliche tropes and commas and question marks, timeskip setting because im anything but creative, swearing

requests are open!

a/n: thank you for requesting this!! i hope you like it :D

atsumu

* you’ve been friends with him ever since high school and you watched his career grow

* youre both equally proud of each other n your friendship is built on mutual respect, trust and love

* you basically live in his apartment, with how much time you spend over there

* he would complain 24/7 about not having anyone to go to events with

* at one point you wanted to strangle him for never shutting up about it so you propose you go with him from time to time

* atsumu: “yeah, that was a setup”

* he KNOWS you’re drop dead gorgeous and everyone will be jealous of him that you’re with him (and you also look very good in formalwear, which he very much enjoys)

* and you get to have free food and drinks and also wear immaculate expensive clothes

* so,, you became his regular date for sponsorship events and stuff

* and you never really outright said you were just friends?? so you’re used to the media portraying you two as lovers but your close circle is aware that your relationship is platonic

* everything was going great until one of his sponsor company’s heir started hitting on you

* atsumu saw you flirting with the person and his mind went blank

* he,, he didn’t understand why he wanted to commit multiple crimes on the spot

* bokuto conveniently showed up next to atsumu at that moment

“hey, atsumu? why is your date flirting with them?” bokuto asked, suddenly appearing next to atsumu, which startled the latter out of his thoughts.

a better question would be why atsumu saw red at the thought of you getting friendly with anyone but him that night. he tried his best to keep his composure, but it was hard when you rested a hand on the heir’s shoulder, leaning your head back while laughing.

“atsumu, are you not going to answer me? your lover is-“

“my what?” atsumu asked, attention now completely off you.

“your lover? is that a term you don’t like? i could say partner... significant other... or anything you want, really,” bokuto answered, apologizing.

“you- you think me and (y/n) are together?”

“aren’t you? what, with the way you look at each other i was convinced you two were like... high school sweethearts or something, who hate pda,” bokuto explained, while atsumu’s eyes trailed back to you.

“you think... you think they’d wan’ me?”

“are you blind, buddy?”

you must have sensed their gazes, because as soon as those words left bokuto’s mouth, your eyes snapped towards atsumu and bokuto. the latter started waving with a cheerful smile while the former just stood, entranced by you and your presence. atsumu noticed traces of confusion appearing on your face, and watched as you excused yourself from the conversation you were previously interested in.

“‘tsumu, are you alright?” you questioned, approaching the pair. bokuto grinned and left, which made you even more confused.

“yeah, i’m fi- fine. hey, uh, (y/n), say... do you- why did you offer to come to these events as my date?” atsumu asked, eyes dead set on yours. you cracked a confused smile. you seemed to be capable of nothing but confusion at the moment.

“because you’re my best friend and i hated to see you so down because of your loneliness at these gatherings,” you replied, holding his gaze. “why didn’t you oppose it?”

his eyes studied you and when he saw nothing but sincerity, he let out a loud sigh. this was all very new and confusing to him. it’s like bokuto calling you atsumu’s lover set off a bomb inside his head that instead of causing a mess, made everything fall into place; why his gaze seemed to linger on you more often than before, why he was so eager to choose your outfits for these events, why he went to parties he didn’t even have to attend, why he got so jealous and angry when he saw you with the cute heir.

“holy shit,” he breathed and ran his hands through his hair, letting out a nervous chuckle and lowering his gaze to the ground. “holy shit.”

“you look like you’ve been enlightened, and i love that for you, but ‘tsumu, i’m still very confused.”

“i’m in love with you,” he said in disbelief, and quickly snapped his eyes back to your face when he realized he said it out loud. “i- i mean- i’m not in love with you, no way in hell, you’re- you’re my best friend, you- you smack my head whenever i say somethin’ inappropriate, you keep me from underminin’ myself, you always lift my spirits and for fuck’s sake, please, stop lookin’ at me like that because i will be getting hopeful and if you’re just joking, i will never hear the end of it and-“

you finally hd enough of his rambling and cut him off with a kiss. at first he froze, but seconds later he melted into your embrace, hands sneaking around your waist, pulling you closer.

when your lips separated, atsumu gasping for air after his word vomit and the long kiss you shared, you spoke up. “miya atsumu, you’re a real dumbass, you know that?”

his breath hitched and you kept quiet for a second to let him suffer a bit.

“but you’re my dumbass. i love you, you absolute piece of work.”

atsumu honest to god giggled and leaned in for another kiss, which you gave him without hesitation.

somewhere in the room, bokuto was collecting the money sakusa promised to give him if he got you two to kiss.

kenma

* kenma and you are both twitch streamers with similar content so you knew of each other but weren’t properly introduced

* until one of your mutual friends invited you both to stream among us with them

* you obv accepted

* so during the 3 hr stream, you and kenma were imposters together a lot and had the biggest, most twisted imp plays

* a friendly competition broke out at one point, too, trying to see who exposed the most impostors between the two of you

* your fans ate your dynamic up

* from then on, you two interacted more and started to appear in each others’ streams

* kenma even invited you to his minecraft smp

* you became besties basically

* SO

* all fun and games

* and then a huge sponsorship opportunity rolled in

* and the people at the company assumed you were dating

* uh oh

* you couldnt just tell them they have it wrong bc the whole thing depended on your relationship

* so

* big brain kenma suggest you two start to “date”

* you were against deceiving your followers but kenma assured you you could have a public breakup and tell everyone you were better off as friends

* so you reluctantly agreed

* it was only for two months anyways, what could go wrong?

* both of you, on week 3, in separate discord calls: uh oh, im in l*ve

* you both tried to cope (read: repress everything) but the realization on both of your parts threw your dynamic off a bit and fans have noticed

* so you had to do something abt it

* so kenma suggested you try your hand at a minecraft challenge together

* it was all fun and games until it wasnt

* you somehow ended up flirting back and forth ????

* chat was goin crazy, even in sub only mode

* both of you: ha ha im in danger

* when the stream ended, you stayed on call, because that was a routine you stuck to no matter what

“so... how are you doing?” you asked kenma, trying to clear the awkwardness from the air.

“good.”

maybe you should have taken kenma’s refusal to talk about anything into account when initiating conversation.

kenma, on the other end of the call was anxiously playing with his fingers, trying to figure out if his chat was right, and you were indeed flirting with him. and him with you. god.

“hey, y/n,” kenma said after a while, “were you flirting with me?”

his bluntness startled you and you had to mute yourself for a few seconds while you collected yourself.

“is there a correct answer?” you asked hesitantly.

“yes.”

“oh... uhm, maybe? it wasn’t intentional. or maybe it was, subconsciously, i don’t know,” you admitted quietly.

“good. it was intentional on my part, i think,” and okay, that was not the reply you expected to hear.

“really?”

“yeah, i- i like you i guess,” he said, sounding more confident by the minute. “do you like me too?”

“i- yeah. i do. i like you, kenma,” you replied, sighing a breath of relief. it felt good to admit it aloud to him.

“do you- would you maybe want to come over?” he asked sheepishly, which made absolutely no sense because he sounded so confident a second ago. “we could play mario kart?”

you let the beaming smile you were holding back take over your face. “i’ll be there in 10, kenma.”

“i’ll be waiting for you.”

oikawa

* on god mans hated your guts

* like,, okay, you were iwa’s close friend but you were so annoyingly honest all the time

* it drove him mad

* what also drove him mad is the fact that you loved to tease him

* no matter what the circumstance, whether he was in japan or in argentina, you always found a way to make him blush

* okay so maybe hate is a strong word, because he kind of thought you were pretty, but in a platonic way

* dumbass

* iwa always give both of you shit for not liking each other

* so you came up with a big brain idea

* you: ”oikawa! we should date!”

* oikawa: “what”

* after you explained the concept of fake dating to him and its benefits (which included a staged dramatic breakup, giving you both a reason to hate each other without iwa complaining)

* he was totally down

* iwa, when he first saw you holding hands: “i knew it”

* SO!! thus began weeks of pretending to be in love with each other for the sake of iwa

* which turned from pretending to not pretending real quick for your liking

* falling in love with oikawa was not a plan of yours

* (falling in love with you wasn’t his, either)

* with iwa’s constant nagging of “i knew it, you both were head over heels for each other from the moment you met”, the time for the breakup came quicker than expected (maybe you both had enough. so what.)

* you agreed to do it in front of iwa so he could see it happen

* you chose a mcdonalds parking lot, because then you could storm off and iwa would follow you to make sure you were ok and oikawa could go home and sleep

* maybe winging it was not the best idea

“babe,” you said with venom, “haven’t i told you a thousand times that i do not want to hear about your exes? seriously, it’s like the only thing you talk about,” you complained, as your fake-boyfriend took a sip from his drink.

“well, babe,” his tone matching yours, “i would shut up about them if took the hint sometimes. maybe i don’t like going to the movies as much as you seem to, it’s boring,” he rolled his eyes, subtly glancing at iwa, who looked very uncomfortable third wheeling your argument. good

“jerk. i don’t even want to go to the movies that much, asshole,” you spat, crushing your empty cup in your hand.

“oh, you want to go to the movies plenty. face it, (y/n), you’re boring. no wonder you didn’t have a boyfriend before me,” he replied and his words, even though you knew were fake, still hit hard and you couldn’t help the tears gathering in your eyes.

“okay, then, thanks for these wonderful past few weeks, so glad you decided to take pity on me.” you tried to keep acting, encouraging yourself with the fact that if oikwa meant what he said, you wouldn’t have to talk to him if iwaizumi finally saw you two break up.

you expected a lot of things, but genuineness in oikawa’s eyes was not one of them.

“(y/n), i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it like that,” oikawa pleaded, clearly forgetting about your mutual goal.

with a mumbled whatever, you started walking home, letting the sunset wash over your face. when you knew you were out of sight, you sat down on a bench and just started crying.

you don’t know how much time passed, but you heard a voice behind you speak up.

“hey (y/n).”

“what the fuck do you want, oikawa? to rub in the fact that my first boyfriend was just faking it so his best friend would get off his back? leave me alone, jerk,” you said, trying to wipe your tears away.

“i- i didn’t mean it like that, please, believe me,” he replied, taking a seat next to you. you scooted away from him. he sighed.

“why would i believe you? why do you want to make up, anyways? this fight was pretty real, no way iwaizumi didn’t believe it,” you sniffed.

“because maybe... maybe i was very happy about the fact that i could be your boyfriend, even if it was fake. maybe i’m in love with you,” he said softly, leaning towards you.

“please, stop playing games. it’s over,” you replied, trying very hard to ignore the raw emotion in his voice as he spoke.

“i really am, (y/n). i wasn’t at first, i admit it, but now i am. i love you, please, believe me,” he begged and you finally made eye contact with him. eyes were mirrors of the soul, after all.

you studied his face for a few minutes, looking for anything that could indicate he was trying to pull a shit prank on you, but you found nothing.

“asshole. maybe i’m in love with you too, what would you do if i said that?” you asked, wiping your nose with your sleeves.

“kiss you.”

“do it, then, i guess. but you’re still not completely forgiven.”

“what do i have to do to earn your forgiveness, (y/n)?” he asked and you sent him a mischievous smile.

“take the blame for this whole fiasco with iwaizumi.” he froze at your words and visibly gulped, but nodded nonetheless.

“okay, i will. can i kiss you now?”

you rolled your eyes. “yeah.”

and he did.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #oikawa x reader #atsumu x reader #kenma x reader