#it’s meant for people to want to watch not just be something for them /to/ watch

[kimura-desu]

.‘ENTITLED’.

husband!gojo x pregnantwife!reader (afab)

» summary: leaving the busy streets of Sendai city back to its outskirts, the two of you got a bus. there aren’t any seats available, and being pregnant meant being able to sit in the priority seats. looks like they’re taken.

» CW: pregnancy, exhaustion, mentions of jizz, bus ride, stubborn civilian, teeny-weeny angst if you squint, protective satoru, threats, all happy, no swears, not proofread!

» a/n: this has been sat incomplete in my drafts for a month, only until now I’ve motivated myself to finish it (lmao). I don’t know what it is, but I love pregnancy fics with jjk.

———————————————————————

After a slow-paced stroll through the bustling streets of Sendai City and a bunch of offers from Gojo telling you he’ll buy whatever you want, the lingering sense of exhaustion finally caught up with you.

You had managed to make it an hour and a half.

The beads of salty sweat were becoming more prominent over your glossed skin, your breath being lost easily but being hard to get back. The overly frequent back aches weren’t helping either, it was like this baby was already overweight inside of you.

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as your soft, now clammy, hand weaved with Gojo’s, the wedding bands glinting a perfect chrome against the sun’s humid rays. You didn’t want to become a burden, neither a random woman in the city known for sweating abnormal amounts of sweat. “I think the baby’s had enough, huh sweets?”

Your loose gaze lifted upwards to meet his, immediately feeling the cool radiating from his cerulean eyes. Strangely, through the navy lenses in his shades.

“..yeah, me too.” You breathed.

“Okayyy, let’s get the bus back - save you walking around with that watermelon inside you.” Purposefully, Satoru presented you and your bump a judgy look.

“..thanks.”

Rolling your peepers with sarcasm, you gently swung your hand with his back and forth.

“Hey, that’s what it looks like to me!”

“Well it’s your sperm, blame your own genes on the fact it’s fat!”

“WHAT?! FAT?! I’M NOT FAT. I’M A TALL SKINNY KING! AND SO WILL BE MY BABIES!” The man was very much offended, that open-mouth and crossed brow face he pulled was all you needed to know.

“..oh REALLY? WELLI KNOW FOR A FACT ITS NOT MY GENES CAUSING IT!”

And all the way to the bus station you continued on with your quarrel on who’s genes caused your bump to be so big already.

Both you were just kids in adult bodies.

——

After earning an unusual load of overcritical glances from passers-by, you finally reached the bus station where many people stood.

Looking around with concern, your brows gently furrowed, a little confusion clouding your mind. It was good that Satoru could read you like a book.. sometimes.

“It’s okay, they’ll let us go past.”

The white-haired man muttered into your ear, placing his hands on your clothed shoulders.

“What if they don’t?”

“Oh they will.”

The way he said those words made you feel something, like it was your hormones playing tricks on you.

And so soon enough after waiting for a couple minutes, you had a glimpse of the scheduled bus turning around the corner.

“C’mon then.”

Placing a hand on the flat of your bump you both moved forwards, attempting to shift to the front.

“Satoru, I—”

“Just go baby, they’ll move for a pregnant queen like you.” He reassured, eyeing the men who weren’t moving out the way at first. Like they should, the women knew to make way, all flashing you sweetened smiles as you passed them.

Eventually you had gotten to the front with a man standing in the lead. “See?” Gojo smirked, watching you tilt your head back to see his beautiful face.

“M’kay..”

——

The doors of the vehicle swung open with a but too much vigour it almost took out the poor man standing next to them.

After Gojo, being the most pampering partner ever, paid for the tickets, he ushered you forwards only to discern no available seats. Gojo would be more than happy to stand, but it was you he worried about since you were already breathless and weak to stand.

The priority was stocked up with disabled and the impaired too apart from one space.

However that man who clearly perceived you were carrying a baby, sat in the seat in front of your face - glancing at you as he did so.

How selfish. Is he not embarrassed?

“There’s no seats left Gojo, I can’t stand anymore.”

Subtly you whined, being a little irritated that you couldn’t sit down and would have to uncomfortably stand as his baby rearranged your organs.

“..hm. Let’s see.”

“Wait—”

He shuffled to the man.

“Heello. Excuse me, but my miss is pregnant. Would you mind sparing the seat?” Gojo politely asked, hanging on to the pole situated in the middle of the aisle.

“What? Err no, sorry.”

That man was not sorry at all. It made you cringe.

Gojo’s expression paused, pressing his pastel lips together in irritation. Why wouldn’t this man listen?

“May I ask why are you being so difficult?”

After hearing those words, you knew this was going to veer off sideways. Almost everyone’s eyes were glued to the scene unfolding, all looking up from the windows and screen to see two men ‘bickering’ it out.

“Difficult? What do you mean, I was here first.” It seemed like the man had issues already, as he started to flail his hands around.

“My wife is pregnant, if you didn’t hear the first time. You’re sat in a priority seat, which where she should be sitting. Are you disabled?”

He was getting defensive. It was crystal clear that the man was not disabled, nor pregnant at that matter.

“..um no? But that doesn’t mean anything. I’m not giving up my seat for some cripple.”

A cripple?!

That’s it, Satoru had had enough and was desperate to split this man in half. Not a single person could insult you because he would already be on them like a hawk.

Anyways, the fact that the nasty being had called you a cripple, couldn’t help but make you feel a little too much like a burden, and your gaze saddened.

“You’ve gone too far. No-one. Absolutely no-one, is to offend my wife like that. So, jackass, vanish any place other so she can sit.”

“Or else?—”

“There is no ‘or else’ fool. You’ve already screwed the wrong person, so I suggest you move. Don’t do something stupid.”

The man, looking quite intimated, eventually got up and sulked off past the two of you.

“Thanks.” Satoru fake smiled, stalking him ‘till he had gone else where, far away from you.

All this drama had made you forgot about the achy pain surfacing your body, which immediately flowed back as realisation hit you.

“..oof-” It had subconsciously left your lips, and it made Satoru’s brows cross.

“Here you go my love. Is it hurting?”

He concernedly asked, holding your velvet hands as you lowered your rear on the much-needed seat.

“I’ll be fine, just what I needed.” You smiled back at him, tucking a stray hair behind you ear as you breathed out.

“I’m glad. Some morons just think they are ‘entitled’.”

—————— thank you for reading! this is my original idea and have worked hard on this. so please no translating, copying or modifying my work - kimura-desu.

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #satoru gojo #gojo saturo #pregnancy #pregnant!reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk satoru #jjk #pregnant #bus ride #jjk anime #jujutsu sorcerer #jjk pregnancy #jujustu kaisen pregnancy

[afterglowkatie]

someone better | l.w.

leah williamson x reader | 2.6k | There was always someone better. You never felt like you’re enough for anyone, especially not yourself. Would anyone really miss you?

ˏˋ°•*⁀ Heavy themes include: suicidal thoughts, depression, low mental health, thoughts about a suicide attempt, intrusive thoughts, negative thoughts. Please read if you can handle things like that. sorry if it doesn't make sense, it's essentially a vent fic i just needed to get things out it's been a low day so yeah

The air was crisp. You could see your own breath, which would’ve been amusing when you were a kid but now it was a reminder that you were alive. You didn’t mind the cold, at least it gave you something to feel other than the numbness that had taken over your body. The rooftop access in your apartment building wasn’t secured and was never monitored so you found peace in sneaking up onto the rooftop to think and reflect. Seeing the city’s skyline, it was beautiful. A stark contrast to the awful thoughts that plagued your mind. 

Watching the lights shimmering below, all the people that wandered the streets below, all the people that were in their own apartments, yet you never felt more alone than you do right now. A bit ironic. Shakily taking a breath, you decided to sit lean against the edge of the building and let your thoughts consume you. There was no stopping it so why not let your mind run free when you’re in a space without any interruptions. Even if letting your mind run free meant it was slowly killing you in the process.

The thought of death was always in the back of your mind, occasionally making its way to the front when you thought you had exhausted all your other coping mechanisms. Another irony, when you were younger you were always afraid of death. Afraid of dying, but now more than ever it was what you craved. You would happily welcome death if it meant you could disappear from life to never return. Never having to face the pain and suffering of everyday life again.

It’s not like anyone would miss you, or even notice or care that you were gone. That was it really, no one needed you. A hard thought to stomach, one that made your head spin, that made you fall deeper than you already were. They all had someone better, someone more important to them than you were. You were always just someone they could use to fill the time before someone better came along.

Every time you got attached to someone, you’d eventually lose whatever friendship you had with them. A ‘filler friend’, you would call yourself. The one no one thought about unless they needed you or if they had no one else. Always a last resort, never a first choice. No one would truly miss you. They might say they do but a day later they’d go about life like normal and never think or say your name again. You knew these thoughts were irrational to an extent, although the part of you that believed that these negative thoughts were the truth always won. This was the truth that others were afraid of telling you. The truth you had to tell yourself.

You had convinced yourself that all you do is break, burn and drain the life out of others. Always trying to be the person they needed, the person they wanted you to be regardless of your own feelings and pain. Which you obliged, learning from a young age that all you had was yourself. Your own problems and thoughts were only yours to carry. Quickly learning to suppress emotions, fake smiles, and keep a bubbly personality around anyone else. No one needed to be burdened by you, your absence in life would be a blessing, even if no one else knew it yet they would realise not long after you’d left.

But that’s the thing, everyone else in your past had left or moved on. What made anyone else at Arsenal any different? It would be silly to think that this club would stay the same until everyone ended their careers. You all seemed like a family, but even families broke apart. It would also be silly to think that even if everyone separated that you would all stay in contact. Maybe for a little while but it wouldn’t take long before everyone drifted apart from each other, before anyone drifted apart from you. You thought you were easily forgotten. So what difference would it make if you decided to leave now? You were tired of trying to live. Trying to live to everyone’s expectations of who you were and who you should be.

You were more than grateful for how far football has come and thankful for all the fans and support from everyone online and in person. But with that continued to grow the expectations you had to live up to. You were the team’s ray of sunshine. Even the fans saw you that way. You were the one that gave everyone hope. Always knowing how to help lift your teammates up when they were feeling low, especially after a loss of an important match. You never wanted anyone to feel the way you felt now, the way you had always felt. Which is why you continued to put that weight on yourself.

Though being the team’s source of positivity and hope was exhausting. You were getting tired and felt that no one noticed how broken you had become on the inside. Slowly becoming a shell of who you once were, but you would try your best to never let anyone see. Especially not let your teammates see. You were good at that. At never letting anyone in enough for them to see how much pain you suppress each day. No one had to see how much you tear yourself apart just to be enough. To be enough for them, enough for a friendship you saw them all have with each other. 

Friendships were hard, you weren’t funny or interesting enough to keep anyone around for long. Your insecurities were always eating you alive. You found comfort in the coldness of the night more often than you would’ve liked to admit. Your midnight rooftop escapes were becoming more frequent, less time spent in bed and less time spent sleeping. It gives you more time to reflect. Typically hyperfocusing and reflecting on the way each individual group within the team interacted with each other. Always wishing you were enough to have a friendship that they all seemed to have with each other. Sometimes it felt like you were an outsider looking in.

It’s how it always went. You tried to put your all, your entire heart, into friendships and trying to keep connections with others. But it was all so exhausting and tiring. Past experiences constantly kept tainting any new opportunities. People in your past thought it was easier to constantly fumble and drop your heart, letting it shatter into tiny pieces leaving you to try to put it back together before the next person came along to do the exact same. You were used to the cycle, it had happened growing up within your family home life, within your last club, it was exhausting. It left you feeling constantly broken and empty and thinking that maybe you just weren’t deserving of a deeper friendship. Part of you likes to believe that you are deserving but lately it has been harder and harder to believe in that. It has become harder and harder to believe that if you stuck around long enough that things would change, that you would find what you were yearning for. But at the end of the day, who would want someone like you in their life?

Maybe you overthink too much, perhaps you let your mind have too much free range that it makes you believe these awful thoughts. That it makes you believe no one enjoys your company and that everyone would be better off without you. You didn’t know how to control them once they started. Your mind just taking you through each one of your teammates, showing you they were fine without you, better off without you in their lives. 

Though your mind would happily let you forget and not notice how much everyone in the team cared for you. How they had started to notice that you were slowly fading away. You never saw the hushed whispers and how the group conversations had started to slowly shift into others voicing their worries and concerns for you. You were always so lost in your mind during these episodes that you missed the way you gained extra attention from Leah. Leah was always quite attentive and never failed to notice changes in you.

Finally feeling the chill of the air, you blew heat into your hands rubbing them together. Leaning against the edge you looked down. The thoughts to end everything then and there easily slipped into your mind. It was high enough that it would be a definite permanent action, but you could never bring yourself to follow through. Though tonight, everything telling you to follow through with your thoughts were louder than they had ever been. Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply. The cold air burning your lungs. The burning feeling you had become used to the more you spent out at nights. Somehow your body could feel numb and on fire at the same time. Perhaps it was just your anxiety but you would never admit to that. Admitting to your feelings is acknowledging that they’re there and that there’s a problem you had to fix. You’d rather pretend.

Looking down once more you were reminded of the one constant you had in your life. The one person who made you feel everything, the one that could make you believe life was worth living. Leah. Were you selfish for feeling this way when you had someone who would give you the world, who would give you everything she had? You felt selfish, that’s for sure. Leah was always enough for you, but there was that one part of you that wanted a friendship so similar to the friendship Leah provided for you before your relationship turned into something more than friends. Thinking about Leah gave you a semblance of hope. A continued faith that you’ll be okay in the long term, a reminder that right now was a short term feeling.

Turning away from the edge and the sidewalk that was calling your name, you decided to go back to the warmth of your apartment and the person who was currently occupying one side of your bed. Rubbing your arms, trying to defrost a little before climbing in beside Leah. You didn’t want to share the coldness that plagued your body when all she ever offered you was warmth, both physically and mentally. Leah looked peaceful while she slept, you smiled. It wasn’t big but it was real. Your smile around Leah was always real, no matter how small. You love Leah, and if you couldn’t live for yourself you would do it all for her. Eventually you would be able to do it for yourself, but anything that helped keep you here, keep you alive was enough until you could manage to want it for yourself.

Leah knew how much you were trying. She saw the pain in your eyes, she knew you well enough to be able to see right through you. You never liked to keep things from Leah, but you could never find the right words to tell her so you silently hoped she could see. Leah knew you went up to the rooftop most nights, but she also knew you were strong enough to pull yourself away and back into her arms when you needed it. She had followed you up to the rooftop, curious to see where you had been spending your nights. She watched from afar, worried since you were too close to the edge for her liking. But then she saw the way you were able to take yourself away from the edge and back down. 

Leah watched from afar for a little while. Every single time you came back down to bed Leah would give you endless amounts of love and support. Whispering words of encouragement and praise that you didn’t think you needed to hear. Leah trusts that you would come to her if your thoughts ever got too much. And as much as you wouldn’t want to burden her, you also know deep down you would seek her out instead of following over the edge of the rooftop.

Every time she was thankful to see you walk back through the doors to your apartment, to your room, even if you hardly slept she knew you were safe. Knowing that you wouldn’t accept the help from anyone if they offered it outright, Leah would help you in other ways. Subtle ways that you hadn’t completely noticed yet. Leah would make sure all the laundry was done, folded and put away. She watered all the plants you had forgotten about so they wouldn’t die and when you left this episode you wouldn’t feel bad for neglecting your babies. Leah would give you a routine that you followed each day so you didn’t have to use up the energy you needed to use to fight on something mundane, on something Leah could do for you. 

She wanted you to be able to give your all into this fight, one she knew you would be doing on and off for the rest of your life. But if it meant having you around then she would do whatever it took. Leah knew you were capable of taking care of yourself but she also knows how hard it can be to get up and fight to live every day. Leah was proud of you for continuing to get through every day.

Leah smiled when she woke up to you climbing into bed, before dawn she noticed which was a new record for you lately. Instantly Leah was in your embrace, the smile on her face just from your presence lulled the screaming thoughts enough for you to believe you could have some sense of sleep.

‘I hope it wasn’t too cold out there tonight,’ Leah’s voice was low and raspy, a mix of trying to not be too loud with it being so late in the night along with having just woken up, ‘Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold baby,’ Leaning down you placed a kiss on the top of her head, her thoughtfulness was comforting.

‘You don’t have to worry about me Le,’ You felt her body suddenly stiffen at your words, tending to overanalyse your words and thinking the worst, ‘You’re stuck with me forever babe,’ A small chuckle left your lips and Leah started to relax again in your arms. Maybe you weren’t a problem in people’s lives, maybe you needed better judgement on who to give your heart to. Giving your heart to Leah was easy, you know she’ll keep it safe. Romance always comes easily to you. Giving your heart to a friend was where you struggled. But now wasn’t the time to lose yourself again.

‘Never forget you have a place in this world. You’re special, important and loved,’ Leah always knew what to say and when to say it. It was like she could read your mind, which at times scared you, ‘I love you,’

‘I love you too, Le,’ Holding her close gave you hope that one day you could feel whole again, ‘Now, my love, you need to sleep,’ Even though she was in and out of sleep you could still cause a faint blush to spread across her face just from your words.

‘Only if you sleep,’ Before Leah knew it she had fallen back to sleep. Watching Leah sleep, you like to believe her peaceful aura would send you to sleep and that it wasn’t you falling asleep from pure exhaustion. Your fight was far from over, you were only just beginning but she gave you the strength you needed each day to make progress. Always reminding you on days you made no progress that waking up and living was progress enough. Making it through each day, no matter what, was enough. You were enough for Leah. You were enough for everyone else around you. You just had to believe to be enough for yourself.

#leah williamson #leah williamson x you #awfc #arsenal women #arsenal wfc #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #woso one shot #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso community #woso x reader #woso #womens football #awfc x reader #awfc imagine

[seulrinnie-rinrin]

The Man Next Door

SUMMARY | San is your brother’s friend and your next door neighbor. Despite the constant bickering, you can’t deny the attraction between you both. PAIRING | San/Reader GENRE | non-idol!San, smut with no plot, unprotected sex (wrap it up everyone!), fingering, vaginal sex RATING | Mature LENGTH | 4602 words AUTHOR’S NOTE | Hi and hello. Enjoy~

"Can you stop that infernal noise?!" You pounded on your neighbor's door as you heard the sound of power tools once again. The banging went on and on. "Damn it, I've asked you a dozen times to turn down your shi..."

The door burst open, your angry glare landing on a grinning face. "You know, Y/N, I don't say shit about the noises you make when you're working on your remo..."

You cut him off before he could finish. "I want it quiet! And I mean really quiet!"

"Well, damn." He crossed his arms in front of himself and leaned against the doorframe, obviously amused. "And here I thought you were going to storm into my place and grab my tools."

You let out a groan and ran a hand through your hair. "You're so annoying San. If I wasn't so pissed off at that loud ass thing over there I would kick your fucking ass."

He burst out laughing. "See? You like me after all. What if I said no?"

"Can we not?" You let out a sigh. "Please, can I have some quiet?"

"Why? You have a guy over or something?" He raised an eyebrow, knowing you didn't get a date often enough for anything like that to be true.

"What's it to you, huh? Jealous?" Your mouth twitched up slightly as you tried to hold back a smile.

"Hell no, I'm just curious, is all." He held up his hands defensively. "So who is he? Your boyfriend?"

"Fuck off, San." You rolled your eyes. "But if you wanted to know, my parents are visiting me and I would appreciate it if you kept the noise to a minimum. Once my parents leave, then we can start our bickering like usual."

"Is that a promise?" His eyes glinted mischievously.

"Fine."

He gave you one last leer before turning around and closing the door behind him. You made your way back to your condo next door, your parents curiously giving you looks from the living room where they sat watching TV.

"Is everything alright with your neighbors?" Your mom inquired as she took a sip of her tea.

"Sorry about that. San is remodeling his place right now." You replied, your cheeks growing hot as your dad snorted softly.

"How romantic." Your mother commented wryly.

"Mom, please." You rolled your eyes and waved your hands at them. "He's like the most irritating person ever and-"

"You're still arguing with him, Y/N?" Your brother walked out of the bathroom. Seonghwa gave you a strange look before taking a seat next to your mom.

"Seonghwa, I swear I am going to kill that man." You mumbled angrily as you rubbed the bridge of your nose. "Of all people, how did your friend end up being my neighbor?"

"It's destiny." Your brother replied cheerfully, causing both of your parents to laugh. "It was meant to be. You two should go out together. There's nothing wrong with trying."

"Mom! Tell Seonghwa to stop it." You glared at your mother.

She giggled as she continued talking to Seonghwa. "Yes, love. Your sister and San should get together. How many times has he looked at her?"

"A lot." Seonghwa smiled as he watched your face grow redder.

You groaned as you got out of your chair and headed towards the kitchen. "I hate my life sometimes."

"Oh come on. If you hate the thought of going out with San, then why don't you just find an actual boyfriend?" Seonghwa pulled you back by the waistband of your pants. Your mouth fell open as your gaze landed on your brother. He gave you a smirk as he started pulling you back towards the couch. "I think Yeosang is single..."

You turned to your parents. "Mom, Dad. Please tell your precious son to stop hooking me up with his friends. It's getting old and I swear I will hit him if he tries this again."

Your parents chuckled as they shook their heads at you. They knew that your brother was just doing it because he loved you. He didn't care if you ended up liking them or not. All he cared about was that you found someone special to spend time with and make memories with.

They weren't stupid though. After all, you hadn't dated anyone seriously since breaking up with your first serious boyfriend. If he wanted you to settle down soon, then it only made sense that he'd try to set you up with a good looking guy with good family values. One that wouldn't cheat on you or be too needy. That's what your brother had always told you.

San.

Despite him irritating you to no end, he was a good guy. A kind-hearted person that would never intentionally hurt another person. You knew that because even when he was teasing you mercilessly, you couldn't help but see the soft side of him. It was impossible not to, especially when he was being sweet. And sure, you couldn't deny being insanely attracted to him either. His voice, those ridiculously perfect lips, his gorgeous eyes... Everything about him screamed sexy, and the way he treated you when you were alone with him made you weak in the knees.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Seonghwa placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"Yeah. Just give me a second." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Opening your eyes again, you looked up at your brother. "Do you think it's a bad idea to ask him out?"

"Oh? Do you perhaps like San?" He raised an eyebrow, and then started to laugh as he saw the look of horror cross your face. "Kidding, Y/N! Of course you do. I don't think he'll mind the fact that you've been crushing on him since high school."

"I have not been crushing on him since high school!" You exclaimed defensively.

"Uh huh. Tell yourself that. Because I'm pretty sure he noticed." Seonghwa chuckled. "Do you have dreams about him too?"

"Stop it." You groaned.

"No really. I won't stop until you admit it." Seonghwa smirked.

"I'm going to punch you in the face when Mom and Dad aren't around." You grumbled, glaring at your brother.

"So...?" He grinned mischievously. "What are you going to do?"

You groaned as you got out of the couch. "Mom, Dad. Don't stop me when I throttle my own brother. Seriously."

They laughed as you stalked towards the door. Grabbing your phone off the counter, you slammed the door behind you and headed towards San's place next door. San was outside washing his car when you walked out. His head shot up when he saw you standing there, and you immediately felt your face heat up. God, it was hard not to blush every time he caught your eye. As much as you hated admitting it, San was incredibly attractive. But even more than his appearance, it was his personality that got you. His humor, his kindness, and the way he teased you constantly...

God, you wished you were less awkward around him. You spent so much time daydreaming about what it would be like to kiss him and spend the night in bed with him, that it had become difficult to function normally around him, hence the bickering with him over the years.

"You okay there, Y/N?" He spoke softly as he came closer to you.

You shook your head, a small smile on your lips. "It's nothing. Just Seonghwa being annoying as always."

"Ah, Seonghwa." San let out a laugh. "Trying to matchmake yet again?"

"Shut up." You muttered under your breath.

His smile grew wider as he moved in front of you. "Who was it this time? Jongho? Mingi?"

You shook your head. "Yeosang."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow, surprised.

"Really, really." You sighed. "I told Seonghwa that I'll beat him up the next time he tries to butt into my love life. So that means I owe him a beating."

San cocked his head to the side as he studied you. "Hmm... A chance to hit Seonghwa for you. That does sound fun."

"Feel free to beat him up. He is your friend after all." You shrugged and shook your head. "Anyway, I came here for something else. Seonghwa won't leave me alone unless I ask you this...Do you...Uhm...Think it's a bad idea to ask you out?"

His smile grew bigger as he pulled you close to him. "Oh my god, I can't believe I have to hear you asking me this question already. We've been friends for years, what makes you think it's a bad idea?"

You frowned and bit your lip. "I just feel like it might cause problems between us... Ugh." You huffed and looked away from him. "Nevermind. Forget I asked."

"It's fine. Really." He placed a gentle finger under your chin and gently tilted your head upwards. "It's perfectly normal to want to ask a friend out. And I know you like to look at me when you think no one's around. Even if you pretend you don't, I know you do."

"I swear one of these days I'm going to beat you up instead of Seonghwa." You mumbled as you stared into his eyes.

He let out a laugh. "Are you going to start fighting everyone you meet now? It's cute. Kinda."

You blushed slightly and quickly looked away. "Stop flirting with me. You're making me lose focus."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He winked at you before releasing your chin and stepping away.

You crossed your arms and glared at him. "So... Will you go out with me?"

"Maybe." He smiled cheekily.

Your jaw dropped and you widen your eyes. Was that a yes? "W-what?!"

"Shh. Be patient." He winked at you. "Just wait for my answer."

"But-"

"One. More. Minute." He smiled. "And then you can say whatever you want."

"Seriously, you guys need to just make out already." An annoyed voice called from inside the house. "You two drive me crazy sometimes."

"Oh, dear God." You mumbled under your breath. "Seonghwa is coming out now."

"Hello, loverboy." Seonghwa laughed as he walked out of your condo. He patted San on the back. "I take it that my crazy, violent sister asked you out?"

"Yeah. She kinda did." San chuckled, reaching for your hand and intertwining your fingers with his.

"Well, I suppose it's better late than never." Seonghwa smirked. "Still though, it's about time you guys went out."

You rolled your eyes, a small smile on your face. Seonghwa wasn't exactly wrong. In fact, he was right. You had gone out with your friends and tried dating other people without success. But honestly, there was something missing in those relationships. Something that you felt only with San. Sure, he was a huge flirt, and he was usually joking around whenever he saw you. But it was more than that. You could always tell how genuinely happy he was to see you. How excited he was when he saw you smile. And his caring nature... He put you first in everything. Always putting you before himself. He always wanted to make sure you were safe and taken care of, before thinking of his own needs.

The fact that he was super hot didn't hurt either.

You squeezed San's fingers tightly, wanting to convey to him how much you cared about him. You also wanted to show him how happy you were that he agreed to go out with you. For some reason, you felt nervous that he might say no, despite the fact that you both knew you wanted each other. You knew he liked you. Hell, you liked him too. He was the only person who seemed to understand you, who knew how to push your buttons and get under your skin.

"Y/N, why are you squeezing my hand so tight?" San laughed.

"I'm not." You mumbled, slowly letting go of his hand.

Seonghwa burst out laughing. "Sure you are."

"Ha ha." You smirked. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with this very handsome man." You turned to San and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"I'm going to show you how to properly kiss later." San laughed, his arms snaking around your waist.

You grinned and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Can't wait."

It was a Saturday afternoon and you were relaxing on the couch while watching a movie with San. You had to admit that you felt a bit nervous being wrapped in his arms, but you couldn't deny the butterflies flying around in your stomach every time he touched you.

"Are you feeling alright?" San asked you softly. You hummed in response and looked away. "Is there anything wrong?"

"Do you really want to know?" You rolled your eyes playfully. "It's like I've lost my mind or something."

"Losing your mind doesn't mean that you've lost your ability to speak." He lightly poked you in the nose.

"And yet you still manage to insult me, Choi San." You snorted. "Fine. I'm just freaking out."

"Why?" He asked, concerned.

"Because..." You sighed and ran your hands through your hair. "There are so many things I'd like to do with you...Things I've fantasized about doing since high school."

"Oh? What kind of things?" He smirked.

You bit your lip nervously. "Like...kissing you senseless. And sleeping in your arms all night. And waking up next to you... You get the picture."

He leaned in and pressed his forehead against yours. "Okay, okay. I'll make all of those things come true."

Your heart started racing as he pulled back and held your gaze. For a second, you thought he was going to kiss you, but he quickly moved away, giving you a smile instead. You couldn't help but frown a bit. Ever since you agreed to go with San, he had yet to really kiss you and you weren't sure why. Sure you, kissed. A peck here and there but it wasn't nearly enough. You longed for the moment when he finally did kiss you, fully and passionately. But so far, he had refrained from even trying. Maybe you were expecting too much. Perhaps you should just go with the flow. Let things happen naturally.

Right?

Later that night, you found yourself in bed, staring at the ceiling.

This is stupid. I should stop thinking about him and just sleep.

You scolded yourself. You've been doing it for years and nothing bad happened, so what's stopping you now?

Sleep. You need to sleep.

Closing your eyes, you tried to ignore the fact that San's face kept flashing before your eyes. You attempted to block out the memory of his soft lips touching yours, your hands running through his silky hair and the way his muscles flexed beneath your touch.

Focus. Sleep.

Nope.

You sat up in bed and grabbed your phone from your nightstand.

If I can't fall asleep, I may as well text him and try to talk to him. At least it will occupy my mind for a while. Right?

It only took you a couple of minutes to compose a message to San. You closed your phone and tossed it onto the bed next to you. Not two minutes later, your phone vibrated and you jumped at the unexpected sound. Picking up your phone, you read San's reply.

San: What did you want to talk about? Can't sleep? I'll hold your hand until you doze off.

A goofy grin spread across your face as you read his reply. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of his name and it was difficult to suppress the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Before you realized it, you were typing another message to him:

You: Hard to sleep when all I could think about is kissing you senseless. Tried to count sheep. Didn't work.

Minutes passed and you got a notification telling you that San replied. You hurriedly unlocked your phone and opened his message.

San: What else were you thinking about? Want to share them with me?

You reread his message and a wide smile appeared on your face. It only took you seconds to type it out.

You: Weird thoughts of you.

San's reply came almost instantly. Your cheeks flushed red as you stared at the screen.

San: What kind of thoughts? Sexy ones?

Before you knew it, you typed out another message.

You: Want to know what they were about?

San immediately replied. His response made you blush again. Your breathing picked up as you stared at your phone, waiting for his response.

San: Give me details. Now.

Slowly moving your thumbs, you typed out your reply.

You: Thoughts of your fingers running down my body. Fingers that would eventually find their way inside me.

A few minutes passed before you received a reply. You peeked at your phone anxiously, wondering if he was done responding. When the message alert popped up, you couldn't hide your surprise.

San: And in these thoughts of yours, did you like my fingers? Because I would love to use them...All over you.

Wow. Just wow. That sent chills down your spine and it took everything you had to remain focused on the topic at hand. Thinking about how good his fingers felt made you imagine how it would feel to be underneath him, feeling his strong arms wrap around you as he pinned you down. Oh god, you couldn't stop thinking about it. In fact, the thought alone sent shivers down your spine. You barely noticed when San responded again.

San: Yes. You liked them. More than you ever imagined possible. I'd like to make those thoughts become reality. One day. Soon. Please?

You bit your lip, before responding.

You: Kiss me first and then I'll let you do whatever you want.

San replied a minute later.

San: Whatever I want?

And you proceeded to write the next part.

You: Whatever you want. From the way you touch me to the way you taste me.

Several moments passed and San's reply came through. Your eyes widened as you read his words.

San: Why don't we make our fantasies come true? Tonight. Come over here. Now.

Letting out a small laugh, you pushed yourself up and headed towards his place. It took you but seconds to reach his condo, but you didn't waste any time once you arrived. You knocked on the door loudly, anxious to see him. A moment later, he opened the door and you felt your heart rate pick up. Without saying a word, you flung yourself into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist and pressing your body firmly against his. He returned the hug fiercely and placed his hands gently on your hips, deepening the kiss.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against yours. You pulled away and looked into his eyes. The intense look in his eyes was making you feel slightly dizzy and nervous.

"Is this okay?" You whispered softly.

He brushed your lips with a thumb. "Never knew that you wanted me this bad."

You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. "I do. I've wanted you forever."

His hands snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he kissed you again. You moaned in pleasure as he deepened the kiss. After several minutes, he pulled away from you and smiled. "Come in."

With one last lingering kiss, you reluctantly pulled away and entered his home. After closing the door and taking your shoes off, San pushed you gently against the wall, holding you firmly by the hips. His mouth hovered above yours as he watched you, trying to take in every little detail. Finally, he lowered his head and planted another soft kiss on your lips.

The kiss was brief, but it left you panting. You brought your hands up and pressed them against his chest, enjoying the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat. Slowly moving your hands up his back and around his neck, you pulled him closer to you.

"I want to do a lot more than just kiss tonight, Y/N." San said huskily.

"Yes." You whispered back. "I want to do more than just kiss too."

San's lips left yours and trailed down your jawline, leaving wet kisses along the way. Finally, he stopped at the base of your throat and slowly nipped your skin, causing you to moan softly. Leaning in, he kissed the spot where he bit you and you whimpered. "Don't make me wait anymore, Y/N."

You reached up and grabbed his shoulders, keeping him in place as he continued to tease you. Slowly licking up your neck, he lingered on your pulse point and teased you with feather light kisses. "San... Please..."

As if reading your mind, he gripped your chin tightly and lifted your head. His eyes met yours and you saw desire blazing behind them. Gently brushing his lips against yours, he lifted you up and carried you to the bedroom, leaving a trail of kisses behind him. Once in the bedroom, he kicked the door shut and began undressing you as soon as he set you down on the bed. Your shirt flew across the room and landed somewhere on the floor, followed by your shorts, bra and panties. His lips pressed against your skin, eliciting soft gasps of pleasure from you. You squirmed under his touch, desperately wanting more.

Suddenly, San pulled away and his hands grabbed the hem of his shirt, lifting it up. His eyes remained fixed on yours as he revealed his bare chest. With one swift motion, he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it aside. You could feel your breath catch in your throat as you gazed at his muscular torso. You reached out and caressed his abs lightly, enjoying the soft feel of his skin beneath your fingertips. You pulled at the waistband of his sweats and soon had them off of him, tossing them to the side.

You didn't have to ask twice; San immediately rolled over on top of you and pressed his lips against yours. He pinned your wrists above your head, covering your body with his own as he kissed you passionately. Moans escaped from your lips as his tongue slid past your lips, plunging into your mouth. After a few moments, he pulled away and stared at you with hooded eyes.

"Do you want me, Y/N?"

"Yes." You whispered softly.

"Tell me how badly you want me."

"Very badly."

San leaned forward and sucked on your bottom lip, gently biting it before letting it go. "Good girl." He said, kissing you again.

Again, his lips left yours and moved down your jawline, leaving wet kisses on the way. He trailed his kisses lower, stopping at the hollow of your throat. His hot breath fanned across your skin as he licked your skin. His fingers suddenly clasped your breasts, squeezing them roughly. Your nipples hardened under his touch and a low moan escaped your lips. You arched your back, pushing your breasts further into his hands, craving more.

San's hands dropped from your breasts and trailed down your sides, coming to rest on your hips. One hand trailed slowly down your thigh and pressed against your pussy, making you gasp. "You're wet, Y/N." He said in a husky voice. "You're so wet for me."

Unable to form coherent sentences, you simply nodded your head.

"Touch yourself." He commanded. Sitting up, you placed your palms on your thighs and used them to spread your legs wider. You glanced up at San and found him staring at you with lust filled eyes. "Touch yourself, baby."

With shaky hands, you tentatively touched yourself, moaning softly as you ran your fingers along your clit. You gasped at the sudden rush of pleasure that coursed through your body as you began to finger yourself. The pleasurable tingling quickly turned into a throbbing ache between your legs. When you felt the telltale sign of your orgasm approaching, you slipped two fingers inside yourself, stretching your pussy wider.

"Fuck, baby." San let out a moan as he watched you pleasure yourself. "Tell me how you're feeling."

"So fucking close." You managed to say. "Please, San... I need you inside me."

"I'm not gonna make you wait much longer." San groaned. His gaze softened as he gave you a slow smile. "But for now... Let me watch you finish yourself off."

Normally when you touched yourself, it never felt like this. But the combination of watching San's eyes glaze over with desire and having him watch you touch yourself, intensified the pleasure tenfold. The pulsating ache became even stronger and before long, you felt yourself begin to tense up.

"San...I can't hold back..." You moaned, pulling your hand away from your wet pussy. You felt a burst of heat rush through your body as your orgasm ripped through your body, sending wave after wave of pleasure coursing through your body. The force of your climax caused your knees to buckle and San instantly rolled over, supporting you with his arms. His gaze fell upon your flushed face, a content grin plastered on his face.

"That was beautiful, baby." San said, kissing your forehead. "God, I've been waiting all night to hear you call out my name."

"San, I need you now." You pleaded softly. "Please."

"Yeah, baby." He breathed heavily. "I know."

In an instant, he sunk into you, filling you completely. As soon as he did, your eyes fluttered closed and you held onto him tightly. The overwhelming sensation of him finally being inside you sent tremors of ecstasy coursing through your body. You cried out as he slowly thrust himself into you, setting a steady pace. Each movement was a reminder of how perfect this man was for you and how lucky you were to have him.

"Fuck, San..." You let out a moan.

He gently stroked your hair as you clung to him, murmuring loving words in your ear. Together, you rode the waves of pleasure as your bodies intertwined. Your hands grasped onto his back, relishing in the gentle contact of his skin. Every touch made your heart race faster and soon you were reaching the peak again. You moaned his name as your orgasm crashed over you, causing you to squeeze him tighter. As you neared your release, you felt San begin to shudder beneath you. You opened your eyes to find his gaze locked on yours.

Slowly, he buried his face into your neck and let out a loud groan. "Y/N... Fuck... Baby... I'm gonna cum."

You tighten your grip around him, urging him on as he poured everything he had into you. For a moment, nothing else existed but you and him as your bodies clung together, relishing in the blissful afterglow. After several moments, you released his back and lay there in silence, trying to catch your breath. As your breathing slowed, you felt San's weight shift slightly, rolling over onto his side. With a smile on your face, you turned your head and nestled into his warm embrace. He pulled you closer to him and placed a soft kiss on your temple.

After several moments, he spoke softly in your ear. "Did all your thoughts and fantasies come true, Y/N?"

You laughed quietly. "Every single one."

He grinned and kissed your cheek. "Mine too."

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez smut #ateez san #san #choi san #san x reader #san smut

[missmugiwara]

Insubordination

Summary: fem!reader x Levi Ackerman // Never in a million years would you defy your captain over a gift. From him. Quite the story how you got in the first place.

Warning: 18+, fluff, slightly suggestive, you are soooo down bad but so is he

Note: I love him!

✦ Word count is 2.5k ✦

A hand at your chest, balling into a fist only to grab at something that wasn't there. Only air.

Your eyes stared at your reflection in the window before blinking, readjusting to focus on the contents on the other side of the glass - the inside of the shop. The sun shone at the right angle, causing jewelry to twinkle in the light. Gently, you smiled while admiring the different pieces.

Even so, there was one thing that dazzled you over the others. The one thing that captivated you more than any other sparkly, expensive ring or watch or bauble: a necklace. A silver necklace with a silver pendant - the pendant being a simple feather, wisps carved into it and encrusted with a million little diamonds that imitated the millions of stars in a night sky.

You had wanted that necklace more than anything.

Every time your squad came back from an expedition, the route always passed the jewelry shop last. And every time, you would peek in the window to check and see if that little treasure was still there. Maybe someday you'd get it. These days, jewelry was hard to come by. It didn't help that you felt so selfish for staring all the time and for wanting to purchase such a small vanity. And of course, every time, your friends would mercilessly tease you about this. They would tell you to just buy the damn thing already! You deserved something nice for your hard work. Didn't you know? But when you laughed along with their cooing, it was the same excuse every time.

"Oh, goodness, no! My family needs me! Every cent I earn goes back to my little brothers!"

How many more times would you pass by that stupid shop and dream of that necklace? Surely, you could afford it after all these months of saving.

It was so obvious.

Upon arriving back from an expedition, while carting the injured and parading through town as the people looked upon the scouts, Levi could see. He could clearly see when you drove your horse off to the side. He could see you sneak and take a moment to quietly look into that shop's window. And he could see a friend trotting afterward as you exchanged whispers and maybe even a joke or two. Trying to hide this playful behavior when you should have a modicum of decorum on the way back to base was ignored.

At the sound of your giggling, Levi blinked from his perch atop his horse. His expression was stoic, his gaze unbreakable as he stared into your caped back. There you were with your friends, holding back laughter about that silly necklace again.

He squinted his eyes in annoyance. Tch. You should have just bought it already! Everyone kept saying it.

Levi let out a sigh. He knew better than to think that. Because he knew you.

You were there since the very beginning - one of the first people to ever be assigned to his squad. Being close only revealed your strength and devotedness - a pure and unwavering devotedness to him. A most important member of his squad. Yet important was not enough to describe what you could have possibly meant.

Feeling his relentless gaze burn into your back, you looked up to meet those steel eyes of Levi's. In turn, your mouth dropped open in surprise. By the look in your eyes, it was apparent that you were flustered. For a second more, your gazes stayed locked until you adoringly smiled at the captain.

Levi's eyebrow twitched when you gave a small wave with your hand. Your surrounding friends gasped and looked up to where you were waving, and Levi scowled further. They burst into giggles, whispering whatever teases as your attention was pulled back toward them.

That smile on your face was something he could never get over. It was amazing how you could find such joy in a world where the scouts met danger on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

You deserved joy.

With scrunched-up eyebrows and a steady focus in his gray eyes, Levi looked forward. He knew what to do next.

Later that day, Captain Levi Ackerman walked into that very same jewelry shop. The family that owned the establishment was shocked. Patrons gasped. Levi walked around as if it were the most normal thing in the world, ignoring the gazes of people around him. Stupid that they thought this was so unusual. He was as unbothered as always.

"C - Captain Levi!? W - welcome, sir!"

The Captain Levi?

Buying jewelry? Would it be a ring? Was it for a secret lover? A woman in his life? The unreadable captain was a romantic? Amongst all the stares, low whispers, and comments Levi could give less of a shit what people thought. So after a moment of walking toward the front desk, with the owner quaking in his boots for whatever reason, Levi spoke curtly.

"That feather necklace in the window. I'll take it."

"Excellent choice, sir! P - please accept this discount for all your hard work!"

"Thanks."

It was also later that same day when your beloved squad captain found you in the dining area. A group of scouts were gathered around you, eating and laughing as you regaled them with a funny story from working on your family's farm as a youth.

As usual, Levi's appearance shut everyone up immediately, earning him stares of slight panic. Everyone probably had the same thought: they were being way too rowdy if the captain of all people walked over. However, you had the inkling that this was about something else. A heat blossomed across your cheeks when Levi stopped right in front of you.

"We need to talk. Now."

Of course, Levi didn't scare you in the slightest - but if he needed to talk so urgently, it did make you worry a bit. Instantly, you hopped up and gave an energetic yes, sir! And you followed him, giving one last pout at anyone who dared to snicker at the prospect of you and the captain being alone.

Was it really that obvious? Did everyone know about your feelings?

With a turn of Levi's head toward the crowd behind him, eyes glaring daggers, that was when everyone really shut up.

What really caught you off guard was when you and Levi were finally alone. You, seated in front of his desk, and he opposite of you in a much more lavish chair. Silence and a sort of heated tension filled the air, albeit you could not quite place a finger on what it was that made it feel this way.

Gently, Levi placed a small box onto the desk with a small clatter. You looked at the box, then at Levi. He was expressionless, and his eyes twinkled under the lamplight. As usual, he looked amazingly handsome. A heat dusted over your cheeks. What did he expect you to do? Soon enough, you opened your mouth to ask what in the world this was, but the captain spoke first.

"Open it."

His face did not change nor did his tone urge you to hurriedly act. He let you take your time as you furrowed your brows in confusion. With parted lips, you blinked at him in question again. You really had no idea what was going on.

So you did as you were told.

Carefully, you separated the lid from the box. And your eyes widened once you registered what was inside.

The necklace.

You held your breath. Levi stolidly watched on.

"Captain - " you gawked, holding the necklace delicately in your fingers.

"We're alone."

"Levi." you breathed, "What… why? This can't be for me."

"It is."

"You did not."

"I did."

A losing battle. So your gaze snapped down to the necklace, a calm and gentle smile spreading across your lips. It was breathtaking. And Levi was breathtaking. He bought this just for you? This was the last thing in the world you would have ever expected, but - you knew him. Cold, impassive Captain Levi to the soldiers. Sweet, resolute Levi to you.

"Thank you, Levi. I love it."

When you looked up, he adorned a small smirk. He leaned back in his chair, crossing a leg over his knee.

"Now you have to help me put it on!" you clapped your hands as Levi scoffed, smirk still at his lips.

Excitedly, you spun around and situated your hair out of place when he stood up to walk over. The necklace was clasped daintily around your neck, Levi's fingers pausing at your skin for a slight second as if to savor the feeling. The feeling of happiness - one such feeling he did not have the opportunity to experience often enough. He could see your shoulders rise when your breath caught in your chest at the contact. After a pause, his index finger reached out on command, and he froze to think about what he should or shouldn't do.

Thoughts you similarly shared. A closeness, a bond was there. Something was definitely there, and even your fellow scouts could see it. But what did you want to risk? Was it okay to take the risk despite knowing your profession all too well?

Levi's finger curled inward, and he ran a knuckle lightly down your spine. An adoring touch, one you did not experience regularly except for the rare opportunities Levi chose to reveal his inner softness. Foolishly, you hoped he did not feel your heart thundering throughout your body when he touched you so sweetly.

You decided to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as best as you could. With a grin, you turned to meet his calm eyes.

"And how does it look?"

When Levi opened his mouth to answer, you grinned and interrupted.

"Ah, wait! Don't tell me. I already know it looks amazing."

Levi could only tilt his head to the side, eyebrows folded inward as he gave a tiny, closed-mouth smile. The small, energetic bursts and the ability to still be so genuine and pure in this world - that was amazing too. Where did you find the strength?

As you thanked him one more time, Levi brushed it off - refusing to let you thank him and simply stating it was nothing. When you headed for the door, Levi watched your backside. There was one more thing he needed you to know.

"I better not catch you wearing that on the field, soldier. Would be a shame if it got dirty or you lost it."

With your hand on the door handle, you froze at his words. A small hum escaped your lips, and you turned around with a smirk.

"Of course not… captain."

For whatever reason, you two stood there in silence and stared at each other. Neither one of you could bare to look away. Like a magnetic pull linked you two together. The shadows on your faces danced under the low light. That arousing, heavy feeling was in the air again, and your heart raced. Levi got this gift out of the kindness of his heart. Because he cared. A simple word of thanks didn't feel right. Not after all the years of being by his side.

Without thought, your body moved.

Levi's eyes widened when your arms flew around his neck. He stumbled once but regained footing when you buried your face in his shoulder, hugging him tightly. These moments of intimacy weren't often. In fact, you weren't sure if he was fine with a hug. If he wasn't, you'd apologize profusely. Levi stood stunned in place, really taking in the feeling of your body pressed tightly to his. After a moment more of reflection, his eyelids shut slowly when he exhaled. He dipped his chin into your shoulder, lightly placing his hands on your back to return the hug. His perfectly cut hair shading out his eyes when he moved. A few seconds passed as you held each other, and when you pulled away - Levi simply studied your face with that same taciturn expression he always bore.

As you both stood there just gazing into each other's eyes, your hands gripping his biceps and his at your waist, your eyes glittered. He looked so damn good. He always did over the years. So your brain decided to make you move without thought again.

Swiftly, you pecked him on the cheek.

His eyebrows raised slightly into his forehead, and his lips parted but Levi did not say a word. With a small heat rising to your cheeks, you calmly walked off to the door. All you wanted to do was scream and kick your feet because you had just done that, a small but innocent kiss, but you felt being tact was best. At least for now. At the door, you paused, turning to look at him with such desire.

You smiled, "Good night, Levi."

The door closed, leaving the stoic captain to brush his fingertips against the skin where your mouth landed.

The very next day was another expedition. No surprise there. Your hands tightly held the reins to your horse whilst the hundreds of others walked uniformly down the streets. A small neigh caught your attention, and you looked to the right. With this formation, you were always within eyesight of Levi - never to leave his side unless otherwise stated. You were so close - you could have easily reached out to touch his thigh so reassuringly, but you had a duty to be respectable first and foremost.

It was only yesterday night, but scanning his face made you wonder if he had thoughts of the little gifts exchanged - a necklace and a kiss. It was just a small one! You couldn't fathom going overboard, so the cheek was subtle and friendly enough. This was silly though. Of course Levi probably didn't have time to think about that now. Just like yesterday, your hand darted to the space right underneath the neck - only to be greeted by the necklace this time. From underneath your cape, you grabbed the feather pendant between your thumb and forefinger.

"Hey."

You twitched and turned to meet Levi's eyes.

"What did I say about wearing that?"

Embarrassment was written all over your face. So you spent a while studying him, Levi looking more and more pissed with every second you kept him waiting. Before long, a small smirk appeared at your lips.

"Sorry, captain. I just can't do that. You see… someone really special gave me this. It means everything to me."

Levi's eyes widened.

With a call of Erwin's voice in the background, the horses sprang forth in a run out onto the field beyond the walls. A cheeky, closed-mouth grin, and you tucked the necklace back under your shirt. Within a second, your expression changed to a more serious one, and your eyes darted ahead in focus. No time to think about this bold, little remark any longer - no matter how much you wanted to see Levi's face. Hopefully, he wasn't mad. Because most of all, how dare you so openly defy his command.

Insubordination.

Levi smirked.

He'd deal with you later.

Privately, of course.

#levi x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman x female reader #captain levi x you #aot x reader #aot x you #aot x y/n #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x you #attack on titan x y/n #levi fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #aot fanfiction #snk x reader #snk fanfiction #levi fluff #mugi writes

[whereserpentswalk]

You're so lucky to have been brought back from the dead. Most necromancers would have given up on you entirely, most people are put in the grave with a lot more material left on them than you are. None of your body was still usable, but your soul was miraculously hanging on after your injuries. They were able to keep your ethereal self bound to this world, and make you a new body to possess.

Your new body is made of leather, and cloth, and rubber, and plastic and steel. It looks almost like a puppet of sorts. It's most human shaped, and with your soul inside of it it moves just like a human would. But all it has for a face is a gas mask, and hood to make it look a bit less bald. Where your eyes should be, those little glass fixtures, glow a deep red, perhaps as a reminder of something.

Everyone in your family is trying to be very casual. They don't expect any of it to phase you. Mabye they want to be seen as accepting but you don't know what they mean by that. They expect you to still go to all your college classes, expect you to still try and find work, to do all the things you're still technically able to do. They don't want you to spend time recovering, apparently it makes your family sad to see you "feeling sorry for yourself". And your father will always be the first to remind you that he's the one who payed to have you revived, he's the one who found one of the only necromancers in the city good enough to bring you back. It's like you owe them the child they once had. They didn't bring you back to watch you mourn. And your school and work understands less, you don't feel tired or in pain anymore, you have less on an excuse then ever.

You remember your death so well. It still feels so real, and so scary, it's supposed to have been nothing, supposed to have not mattered, but you can still feel it. And everything is so diffrent in this new body, your entire body feels diffrent, just the sensation of feeling metal bones, and the feeling of having cloth where you once had skin, of feeling hard plastic where your used to your face being. You miss sleep, miss food, miss sex, you even miss pain. It hurts to see people doing all these things that you can't, they took your bed out of your room, they said you needed more space now, and you can't sleep anyway. It was so casual. You should be appreciating this, you're alive after all? Everyone expects you to be so happy all the time, to constantly be in a good mood, to constantly be ok, and you're not, all they ever play in your living room is pop music, and that's not what you want to hear right now, it's not what you listen to alone. You can't smile more, you don't have a mouth.

There's a freind you made in a faerie studies course at college, who let you talk about this with him, he only knew you for a few weeks before you got your new body. It's weird, you're able to talk to even distant freinds about feeling sad or scared more than you can your family. He hugged you, it doesn't feel the same as it did in your old body but it meant something. You told you he's happy your alive, that it doesn't matter what you do, that it's a miracle that you're alive. He told you he wants you to be alive and to be happy. So few people tell you that, nobody in your family ever did. You're expected so much to appreciate the life other people gave you, but so few people want to appreciate that you're alive.

#196 #my thougts #worldbuilding #writing #my writing #my worldbuilding #fantasy #urban fantasy #necromancy #undead #ghosts #ghost #ghost in the machine #gas mask #original fiction #short story #flash fiction #short fiction #living doll #death tw #body horror #body horror tw #science fantasy #sci fi and fantasy #fantasy worldbuilding #fantasy world #dark fantasy #fantasy writing #transformation #horror

[sen-ya]

OOF so this is one I very roughly blocked out after reading 1081 and always meant to finish, then when I went into the file to finish it it corrupted. So it'll stay like this, transcript's under the cut and I assume it's particularly needed for this one.

[pg1] panel 1: Law: This life is a cruel joke! Why can't something just fucking kill me already?!

panel 2: Luffy: Torao -- Law: Don't fucking touch me Straw Hat!!

panel 3: Law: What would you know about loss?!

panel 4: Zoro: Hey, watch it!

panel 5: Law: Torao --

panel 6: Law: I was there when your brother died!

[pg2] panel 7: Luffy: Torao, please. Law: That's your body count, Strawhat! Luffy: Just come back -- Law: People flock to you, your family returns from the dead! Luffy: Listen to me --

panel 8: Law: While my family sinks to the bottom of the ocean!

panel 9: Law: Why aren't I with them?! Luffy: Because you're meant to live, Torao!

panel 10: Law: But I don't want to!!! I never asked to survive!!!

[pg3] panel 11: Law: It's cruel, Lu-ya. Cruel, and cold, and empty!

panel 12: Law: Please don't make me keep living. I'm past this life. I'm tired. I'm tired. Luffy: Torao Law: I'm so tired.

panel 13: Law: I know you want me to be alive. But can't I be selfish, Lu-ya? Can't I just rest? Luffy: Not like this.

panel 14: Luffy: I'm even more selfish than you. I won't grant you that peace. Law: sob

[pg4] panel 15: Luffy: We're gonna get your crew back. Franky will build you a new ship. Law: I don't want to. hic. Luffy: I don't care. Law: Lu-ya, let me go. Luffy: No.

panel 16: Luffy: Just go to sleep for now. That's rest you can have.

panel 17: Law: You can't tell me what to do.

panel 18: Luffy: There you go. That's the spirit.

#my art #one piece #lawlu #lulaw #law x luffy #luffy x law #trafalgar law #monkey d luffy #cw suicidal thoughts #cw sui mention #nsfo

[youbutstupid]

I say this all the time but the most unrealistic part of Criminal Minds is how much Reid’s ‘closest friends’ don’t like listening to him talk. The writers have done a lot of ableist stuff in the past towards Reid but it sucks that his autistic trait of infodumping is portrayed as such an inconvenience to those who are meant to love him because it creates the idea that autistic traits are hard to love but they’re really not.

My best friends could be talking about anything, they could be talking about something that I’m not even remotely interested in and I will sit and listen and enjoy watching them light up as they talk about it. When you love someone, you love watching them be passionate and happy even if the thing they’re passionate about doesn’t interest you. I may not love the topic but I love them and that alone makes listening worth my time.

The only people who actually visibly enjoy listening to Reid seems to be Elle and Luke and keep in mind, Elle only joined the team at the beginning of season 1 before leaving in season 2 so her and Luke knew Reid the least amount of time yet they’re the only ones who seemed to visibly love him enough to listen.

I’m not saying that Reid wasn’t loved by the characters, I’m saying that the writers just did a poor job of showing what it means to love someone whose form of self expression is through talking. Of course you can be fondly exasperated by someone as a sign of love, but it sucks that the writers made characters like JJ and Morgan exasperated every time Reid spoke because it’s so unrealistic.

My best friend infodumps so much, and I don’t even know what she’s talking about a lot of the time, but there is not a single moment where I have wanted to cut her off. Yet cutting Reid off seems to be a bit in a show that prides itself so much on its characters being a ‘family’.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #note to the writers #loving autistic people actually isn’t as difficult as you make it out to be #actually #it’s not hard at all

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Falling in love again (Christen Press x Reader)

Writers block is being a pain at the moment so sorry it's been a while since I posted. I'll be back to trying to write my list of requests in a few weeks when I'm back from holiday. This wasn't requested, just a random idea and probably not very good but I hope you like it!

Warnings: Death of a partner, grief. If you find anything else let me know and I'll add it!

Words: 4.3K

---

Almost two years had passed since I lost my person. The person I thought I would spend my life with, the person I loved more than I thought it was possible to love someone. Life was cruel like that, giving you a person who understood you, who loved you so deeply, only to rip it away in the worst way possible. The day the phone call came, telling me Talia had been in an accident that claimed her life was a blur. Honestly, at times it still felt like a dream. The overwhelming grief, disbelief and fear I felt that day still ever present if I thought back to it. 

I had almost quit soccer for good after that, but I knew she wouldn't want me too. Talia loved watching me play, she knew how much I loved it, always encouraging me and supporting me in everything I did. So I kept going, every game I played, I played for her. The grief had faded since then. It was always there, it always would be, some days were worse than others, but it was bearable. It didn't consume me like it once had.   

One of the things Talia used to love was colouring in my tattoos. Not that I would have admitted it to her, but once we started dating, my new tattoos were purely designed so she could colour them. Our spare time was often spent with her colouring them while I drew or did random stuff. It was something I found myself doing often, especially when I was missing her.

Someone sat down next to me as I slowly coloured in one of the many tattoos scattered over my body. I didn't pay them much attention, continuing colouring, "What are you doing?"

I shrugged, not looking up at Emily, "Colouring."

"Is she colouring in her tattoos again?" Kelley asked sitting across from us.

"Yup, we really need to get her paper or a colouring book."

"Have you ever noticed even when there's paper around she still does it? Look at how comfortable and peaceful she looks. It's like a built in stress relief." I fought the urge to chuckle at how they talked as if I wasn't there. To be fair I was only half listening. 

"Why do you colour in your tattoos?"

I sighed, putting down the pen. The team had been bugging me for months now about it. These were some of the people I trusted most in the world, there was no reason to keep hiding it from them. "It reminds me of my wife. She would sit there for hours colouring in my tattoos while I drew. It became sort of a routine."

"You're married? You don't wear a ring."

I pulled the chain around my neck that held a simple black band and a silver band with a line of diamonds. "Mine and hers," I took a deep breath trying to control my emotions, "She died almost 2 years ago, I only take it off for games."

"God Y/n, I'm so sorry," Ali said, pulling me in for a quick hug.

Alex was the next to pull me into a tight hug, "How come we never knew? We've known you longer then two years?"

"No one knew except our close friends and family. At the time we weren't as close as we are now and I guess I couldn't bring myself to mention it after. We never specifically hid it, just didn't put it out there. She never wanted to the world to know who she was. Never wanted who she was with to impact her kids."

"She had kids?"

"She was a teacher at a school for kids with disabilities. They meant the world to her, she would do anything for them. It was always a worry that her suddenly being known would affect her job in some way."

"It sounds like she was an amazing person. I'm sad we never got to meet her."

"You did, you just never knew who she was to me."

"Talia? I remember you mentioning that she passed away and that's why you took that break," Alyssa asked.

"Yup, we had been married 4 years the day you met her."

"That's why you completely disappeared that day then wouldn't tell us why."

A small smile appeared on my face remembering that day. We had booked a hotel room, ordered way to much room service, gave each other massages, then had a bath and watched movies. It was simple, but one of my favourite nights besides the day we got married, "She had flown in that weekend just so we could celebrate our anniversary. We never spent one apart."

---

Christen sat down on her bed, staring up at me for a second before speaking, "That's why you turn everyone down when they ask you out? Including me."

There had been many people over the years that had asked me on dates, all being turned down for obvious reasons. Christen had been one of them though, about a year after Talia passed. Besides Talia, Christen was the only person I could actually see myself with if I ever got to a point where I felt ready. That wasn't now, but part of me hoped it would happen soon. Despite the guilt and grief that was there, I wanted the chance to be happy again with someone. We had talked about it a few times and neither of us wanted the other to hold on for too long. Talia would want me to be happy, to move on and one day, when the time was right, I would.

I sighed sitting down next to Christen. Sitting or lying on the others bed was a pretty common occurrence when we roomed together. "You know I know she would want me to be happy, but every time I even think about starting to date again, it feels like I'm betraying her. Like if I start something, I'll forget her."

"You'll never forget her. No matter what you're doing or who you're with, she will always be in your heart. She'll always be your person, but you can love someone else while still loving her just as much as you always have. It's not one or the other and if the next person doesn't understand that then they aren't worth the time. There's no rush to move on."

"Thanks Chris. Out of all the people that have asked me out, you're the only one I thought about saying yes to. I'm sorry I wasn't ready."

Christen placed her hand on my knee, squeezing gently. Something that always seemed to make me feel peace. "Don't be. I always knew there was a slim chance of you saying yes and I accepted that. I was just happy that it didn't change our friendship."

"Would you still be open to that date? Not right now, but sometime in the near future."

"Of course I would. There's no rush or pressure though Y/n/n, whenever you're ready, I'm ready. And if you're never ready that's okay too."

--- Today was two years since Talia was taken. Of course it was game day. When I realised the date it was like a weight was sitting on my chest. Christen was still asleep so I slipped quietly into the bathroom to shower and let the tears out. I had originally been thinking about pulling out of the game, but after my shower I was actually feeling okay to play. I was determined to win for her. 

The final whistle blew as I clung onto whoever was closest, my knees trying to give out on me. The rush of emotions I felt was not what I expected. Happiness, relief, grief all rushing through me as I tried to hold it together in front of everyone. Letting my emotions show in front of friends or family was hard enough, I didn't need that happening in front of the fans. 

I managed to hold it together enough to greet the fans before we made our way to the locker room. As I put the necklace back on, I broke. Tears silently streaming down my cheeks before a sob forced it's way out. Instantly, Ali's arms wrapped around me tightly as I sobbed into her shoulder. I didn't like crying in front of people, but there was no stopping it. So for once, I just let it out with the comfort of the people I trusted most. 

Once I had calmed down, Ali finally spoke up, "What's going on Y/n/n?"

"I-it's been 2 years sin-since- I'm sorry."

Ali's arms tightened as another hand squeezed mine, "Never apologise for feeling how you feel. You can always feel how you feel with us. We've got you always."

We spent longer in the locker room than we normally would as the girls took turns comforting me and making sure I was okay before we left. After dinner, most of the team ended up in one of the rooms for team bonding. There were quite a few questions about Talia, normally I didn't talk about her much because of the emotions it brings up, but everyone seemed genuinely interested in her.  Also, talking about her was actually quite therapeutic.  

Even though it was therapeutic, talking about Talia still brought up emotions so I had found myself cuddled up with Ali for comfort. I had almost went to Christen for comfort, but the guilt had started to creep in again making me decide against it.

"How old were you when you got married? It must have been quite young," Tierna asked.  

"We were. We started dating at 19, married at 23.  Possibly too young in some peoples opinions, but at the time we just got the idea in our heads and went with it. I proposed and 2 months later we were married. My time with Talia was incredible, it was fun and low maintenance. We met in college when we both didn't have a lot of money, most of our dates in our first few years were picnics, walks or movie nights. 

I mean our first anniversary, we made each other homemade cards. Talia got me marshmallows because I was obsessed with them at the time and I got her chocolate and gummy bears. We ended up at the beach, making smores before going back to my apartment and making pasta for dinner. To this day that was probably one one of my favourites. Talia never cared about fancy or expensive things, that never changed the further I got in my professional career or as our money situation changed. She was just happy if we were together."

I knew I was rambling, but I couldn't help myself. Talking about Talia before I lost her was one of my favourite things. The girls didn't seem to mind though as everyone's attention seemed to be completely on me. "She sounds like she was an incredible person."

"She was. I think she would have gotten along with all of you. Especially Emily and Kelley. Talia loved pranks and just being annoying. She wrapped up a carrot and gave it to me more than once, she would pull little pranks all the time or poke and prod at me constantly."

Later that night, Christen got my attention as I slipped into my bed, "Hey, you doing okay? I know today was hard."

"It was, but I'm feeling okay right now. I think talking about her helped. I've never really let myself because of the emotions it brings up. Turns out it's quite freeing to talk about her."

"The team would agree, it was nice to hear about her. I can see how much you love her."

"It's uh not weird for you is it?"

"No. Y/n, she was your wife, you love her, you always will. I know that. If we were to eventually get to a point past friendship, I would never expect anything else. You can talk to me about her whenever you want and I don't want you to feel bad about it."

"Thank you Chris. I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or anything. I have every intention of asking you on a date, I just need a bit of time."

"Hey, I don't think that at all. Like I said, there is no rush, there's no expectations."

---

It had been about six months since mine and Christen's initial conversation. I was finally feeling like I was ready to try dating again, all I had to do was ask. It had taken longer than I thought it would and a part of me was thinking that Christen would have lost interest by now or just didn't want to deal with my past. A part of me was tempted to not ask, to save myself from rejection, but I also knew there was no way to know unless I asked. 

"So."

"So?"

I took a deep breath, trying to clear some of the nerves that had been building. I had never asked one out let alone dated anyone else besides Talia. Christen sent me a small smile, the nerves melting away when I saw the adoration in her eyes. "Will you go on a date with me Chris?"

"You're ready for that?"

"I think so, I've been thinking about it a lot recently. It's just this is something I haven't done with anyone besides Talia so I might not be perfect or even close to it, but I'll try."

"I would love to Y/n. Just tell me if we go on this date and you realise you're not ready. I'll understand. You also don't have to be perfect, we'll figure this out as we go okay?"

"Thank you Chris. I'll pick you up at 6?"

"We're sharing a room."

"I'm going to get ready in Ali and Alex's room, that way I can pick you up."

"And they say chivalry is dead." 

---

Trying to plan a date was so far out of my comfort zone that I didn't even know where to start. Of course I had been on many dates with Talia, but that was different. It had been 10 or so years since my first and only first date. I knew Talia like the back of my hand, I knew what she liked, where she liked to go. Christen on the other hand, I knew her, but to a far lesser extent which was making me overthink. What if she didn't like what I planned? What if I did too much or not enough? 

Before I could continue to spiral, I decided to enlist the help of Tobin. Normally I would go to Ali, but Tobin was Christens bestfriend. 

"You okay Y/n?"

"No. Well yes but also no. Christen and I are going on a date tonight and I'm freaking out. I cannot for the life of me decide what to do. Every time something comes to mind, I convince myself that it's not enough. Chris will be the second person I've ever taken on a date, it needs to be perfect."

Tobin led me to sit on the bed as I had started to pace across the room. "Don't tell her I told you, but Chris doesn't care what you do, she's just happy to go out with you. Tell me your ideas?"

"I know she likes parks or gardens, beaches, picnics, museums, that sort of thing. There's not a beach around otherwise I would take her there and it'll be too late to take her to the museum but I found a nice park the other day. It has a lake and there were heaps of like lights and stuff. Was thinking picking up some takeaway and other bits to have a picnic at the park, but it doesn't seem like enough."

"Y/n, that is perfect. I know this is pretty much completely new to you, but you just need to try relax a little bit. You know Chris, she's your friend, you know what she likes. She's going to love a picnic in the park, maybe a walk around after."

"Thank you Tobs."

"Hey Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"Chris is going into this knowing there's a chance you realise you're not ready and she'll understand that, everyone will. There'll be no hard feelings or anything. Just if that happens, please tell her sooner rather than later. I know you won't do it on purpose, but I don't want her to get her hopes up."

"I will. This wasn't a decision I made lightly, I feel ready and I'm really hoping I am. I admit, it does feel a bit weird, but I really like her Tobin. The last thing I want to do is hurt her."

Tobin smiled slightly, pulling me into a quick hug, "I know and so does Chris. Just take it one step at a time, you don't need to rush anything or do anything that doesn't feel right."

After one last hug I made my way to the door, "Thanks Tobs, I should go get ready before I make myself late."

Before heading back to my room, I ran down to the shop to get a few things. Picking out what to buy took longer than it should have. Everything I thought about buying, I ended up second guessing if Christen actually liked it. Time was running out though so I ended up picking out some wine I thought she liked and some other picnic type things.

Despite almost making myself late, I knocked on the door at exactly 6 pm, trying my best to push down the nerves. Tobin was right, Christen was my friend, I knew she didn't expect or even really like some fancy date. There was no real reason to be this nervous. Part of it was probably because of how new it was, part of me was second guessing if I was truly ready for this, but I think that was due to nerves and not wanting to hurt Christen. Another part was because it was Christen. Gorgeous, kind, thoughtful Christen. Anyone in their right mind would be nervous to be going on a date with her. 

"Hi Y/n/n."

"Hi."

Christen smiled, kissing my cheek softly, "You okay?" 

"A bit nervous, but I'm okay. You ready to go?"

We made our way out of the hotel, stopping to pick up takeaway before starting the ten minute walk to the park. Christen didn't ask about what we were doing, instead making random conversation. Knowing I was nervous, I had a feeling she was doing it on purpose to try calm me down. It was definitely working, my nerves were fading away the longer we talked and I wasn't thinking so much about if it was enough. Instead, I was letting myself be excited about it. 

When we got to the park, Christens eyes lit up as she looked around. I found a nice spot by the lake, spreading everything out on the blanket as Christen got comfortable. "How'd you find this place? It's beautiful."

"I stumbled upon it when I went for a walk the other night."

"You went for a walk, alone at night?"

"Maybe not my best idea, but I needed to clear my head away from our room, away from the hotel."

Concern covered Christens face as she straightened slightly, "Away from our room? Was I doing something wrong?"

"No, no you didn't do anything. I was trying to figure out if I asked you out or not. I guess I was worried that I had left it too long and maybe you weren't interested anymore. I also felt a bit guilty, making you wait so long. It seems unfair to you. Got in my head about it I guess. If you can't tell, I'm a bit of an overthinker sometimes."

"Well I'm glad you did. This wasn't unfair to me, I promise. You were honest about everything Y/n, you didn't give me false hope or lie to me. That was all I could ask of you. Are you feeling okay about this?"

"I am. Honestly, it feels a little bit weird which maybe you don't want to hear, but I'm really having a good time."

Christen smiled, taking my hand gently, "Look, I don't get how it feels, but I will never dismiss anything you're feeling. You can always talk to me about it. It's okay for it to feel weird because it probably is for you, I don't take offence to that."

"Thank you. Now lets eat before it gets cold."

We spent the next couple of hours talking about anything we could think of. There had never been anyone but Talia that I could talk to so comfortably without running out of things to talk about. That was until Christen came along. Long before there were any feelings, there had always been something about her that made me feel comfortable talking to her about things. Now I craved the conversations I could have with her. I wanted to get to know her more, from the mundane to the personal. 

Conversation continued as we walked around the park hand in hand then back to the hotel when it started to get late. The nerves had long faded by now, instead being replaced by giddiness and maybe butterflies. Going on a date with Christen felt right. Despite the lingering guilt, I knew Talia would approve. I knew that out of anyone to move on with she would have chosen Christen for me. That in itself brought a sense of peace. 

---

Christen slipped under the blankets on her bed, pulling me down with her. I laughed as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, mumbling something about wanting cuddles. Pulling her closer, I left a soft kiss against her forehead before speaking. "You want me to sleep in your bed tonight?" 

Christen just nodded. We had just got back from our fifth date in two weeks. They could have been spaced out since we lived in the same city, but I felt like a smitten teenager again. Instead of the nerves that plagued me for our first date, I was excited about the dates. Maybe to some it was too many too quick, but I didn't care and Christen didn't seem to either.

Despite the amount of dates we had been on, we were planning on taking things slow. It was my idea to take it slow as this was something I hadn't done in a long time. We had kissed for the first time at the end of the last one, but even though we were rooming together, we hadn't slept in the same bed yet.

"That can be arranged, but I need to get changed and brush my teeth." She groaned dramatically, but let me go with a pout. After completing my nightly routine, I took my necklace off, putting it next to the bed. It felt unfair to Christen to be sleeping in the same bed as her while still wearing my wife's ring.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking it off."

"Because you want to or because you feel you have to?" I just shrugged, Christen stood up, grabbing the necklace and putting it back around my neck before her arms wrapped around my waist from behind. "I will never make you take this off. I never want you to feel like you have to for me okay? You will always love her and that's okay. It doesn't mean you can't have that love for someone else as well."

I nodded leaning back into her. One of my biggest fears with dating someone new was that they wouldn't understand or get mad at the fact that I will always be in love with someone else. That person just happened to not be here anymore. It was scary that I already felt myself falling for Christen, she was just such a beautiful person, inside and out. I don't think I could stop myself from falling even if I wanted to.

---

Christen and I were lying on my bed as the movie credits started to play. We were supposed to go out, but I wasn't feeling up to it. Talia's birthday was in a few days and I had been thinking about her a lot. No matter how much time passed, I still missed her just as much. I was feeling somewhat guilty about the new realisation that I was in love with Christen, like I was being unfaithful to Talia. I felt guilty a lot when Christen and I first started dating. It had mostly faded over the 6 months we had been together, though it always got worse near dates to do with Talia. I just had to keep reminding myself that there was nothing to feel guilty about and that she would be happy for me.

"I hope she's proud of me," I stated quietly, mostly to myself.

Christen turned her head slightly, "Maybe I didn't know her very well, but I know she is. You've come so far in your life and career. You are an amazing person, anyone would be proud of you."

"Sometimes I wish I could have one last conversation with her. See what she thinks of my life, where I am, who I'm with. I still talk to her sometimes, almost expecting a response, but of course it'll never come."

Her fingers laced with mine, squeezing slightly, "I'm sure she's listening and she's happy that you're living the life you want. That's what the people who love us should want for us."

I rolled over so I could look at her properly, brushing a piece of hair out of her face, "Have I ever thanked you? For letting me talk about her, for understanding that me loving her doesn't take away from what I feel for you, for always being there for me on days like our anniversary, or her birthday or the anniversary of her death. It's something I am forever grateful for Chris."

"I will always do all of those things, you don't ever need to thank me. I love you Y/n, I'll always be there for you no matter what."

"Y-you love me?"

"I do. You don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know."

I kissed her softly, trying to show everything I was feeling, "I love you Chris."

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #woso imagines #woso x reader #christen press x reader #christen press imagine

[problemduetest4life]

Jean Moreau/Shawn Anderson One-shot

I was bored so here's less than a 1,000 words for these goofballs I wrote for a warmup, set in @kevinsdsy 's Trojan's social media AU

“No, it’s crazy that they would think this is a date,” Shawn said, playing the straw of his drink. “Like us? Going on a date? Wild assumption.”

“Yes,” Jean agreed. “That would not be my first thought.”

“That’s what I’m saying! But if Derek and Jeremy are thinking that we’re going out then they must be thinking about us in that way, right?”

“In what way?” Jean asked, confused.

“In a romantic way, like we’re people who could potentially go out on dates.”

“But this isn’t a date,” Jean clarified. “We’re not people who go out on dates, then. They are wrong.”

“Damn.” Shawn rested his foreword on the table. “Way to crush my hopes and dreams.”

Jean hummed in response, taking a sip of his coffee. He was well used to Shawn dramatics by now.

“But it could be a date,” Shawn said suddenly, a flicker in his eyes.

“What?” Jean asked.

“Jean Moreau, would you like to go out with me?” Shawn asked theatrically, jumping to his feet and holding out his hand. Jean was utterly lost though somewhat amused. That was why he liked hanging out with Shawn after all.

“Very funny, Shawn,” he said, not moving from his seat. Shawn took both Jean’s hands in his.

“Do you want me to get down on one knee? I’ll propose. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.”

Jean raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

“Why do you want to anyways? Just to prove you’re ‘dateable’?”

“No!” Shawn said in false offense. He plopped back into his seat. “It wouldn’t matter anyways. No one’s asking me out.”

“Fine,” Jean said. “I will go on one date with you.”

“Yes! Everyone’s been saying we should get together. It’s just meant to be!”

“Everyone?” Jean asked, suddenly self-conscious.

“Well, no. Mainly just Jeremy but...”

Jeremy, Jean thought. There was slightly cinching in the muscles of his chest but he brushed it off.

Somehow, they ended back in the apartment watching some silly movie Shawn had picked out. It wasn’t unlike everything other time they had hung out, but Jean could see Shawn tweeting something that was likely going to get at least one of them in trouble.

They were crowded together on the couch. With of their heights and builds it was always a tight fit, a jumble of long limbs and rearranged pillows. Shawn’s hair kept ticking Jean’s nose as the other man lay back against his chest. Jean pulled up his hood to cover it.

“What’re you doing,” Shawn murmured sleepily.

“Fixing your hair. It’s going to make me sneeze,” Jean complained.

“What?” Shawn twisted around to look up at him. Jean was about to repeat himself along with another snarky comment when he saw Shawn’s eyes widen. Their faces were inches apart and Jean was suddenly very aware of how close their bodies were. It usual for them to be physically close with one another and this was mock date after all, right? He swallowed sharply. Shawn blinked slowly, his eyes lashes were blonde and so Jean hadn’t noticed how long they were until now.

Just as he was about to pull away Shawn asked, “are we doing this?”

Jean nodded and met him halfway for a kiss. Shawn’s lips were chapped but they were warm and inviting, nonetheless. He sunk lower into the couch, parting his legs further so Shawn could comfortably lay between them. It felt oddly familiar, Shawn’s callused hands slipping under his shirt to clutch at his torso, pulling him deeper into the kisses. Jean felt safe between the quilt covered couch and his friend above him. He slipped his tongue into Shawn’s mouth.

“So that’s why it’s called French kissing,” Shawn laughed.

“Shut up,” Jean said, “and don’t you dare tweet that later.” He looped a finger in the collar of his shirt and pulling him into another kiss.

They stayed like that for a while. The only sounds were of the creaking couch and their breathing, caught up in one another’s movements. Jean pushed off Shawn’s hood to run his hands through his hair, giving it the slightest of tugs. Shawn made a hitching noise, muffled by Jean’s mouth.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash from the action on the TV, startling them both. Their teeth clicked slightly, and Shawn pulled back, hoisting himself up with one hand on Jean’s chest.

“Jean,” Shawn breathed. Jean sat up, sensing the moment was over. “I’m down bad for Derek.”

Shawn looked at Jean expectantly. Jean shrugged. “That’s good. According to his tweets, I would say he feels the same.”

“Well, sure,” Shawn. “But you don’t have anything to admit? About Jeremy?”

Jean looked away. Shawn sighed and settled back down against his chest. “We’re hopeless romantics the two of us.”

“Speak for yourself.”

“I’m going to post that the rumors are true and you punched me in the face,” Shawn grumbled. “Also, that you’ve recruited the freshmen into satanic rituals.”

“Those are lies. I can just tell the truth that you’re secretly a chronic overthinker,” Jean said before squinting at the TV screen. “And you have a kink for making out during Cars 2.

“I don’t know if I should be proud of my influence or disturbed that you’re using it against me,” Shawn said before yawning. He fell asleep shortly after, his phone left unlocked beside him. Jean picked it up, considering what chaos he could bring with full access to Shawn’s twitter account.

#I was bored so I ruined lunch purposefully #LMAO #I usually keep my lil drabbles to myself #but I've been on a posting streak so mine as well #tsc spoilers #the sunshine court #jean moreau #shawn anderson #the trojans social media au #hope its okay i used that tag

[darkstarofchaos]

Spoilers for EarthSpark S2 below the cut.

The problem with Starscream isn't that he was evil. I have to lead with that because apparently if you complain about how he was handled, people are just going to assume you wanted him to be redeemed. I am not a Starscream redemptionist, nor am I a fan of "redemptions" where an evil character becomes a Good Guy. One of the biggest issues I have with Megatron redemptions is that he never actually has to address what he did to his own side, he just fucks off to join the other side/goes his own way. Suffice to say, I was not hoping for EarthSpark to "redeem" Starscream (unless it was in the more personal sense of trying to do better by his own people).

The problem with Starscream is not that he was evil. The problem is that, to make him the specific brand of evil the Powers That Be wanted, they had to completely ignore his previous characterization.

I honestly did not have a problem with most of his (admittedly few) scenes. His motivation for being Evil was disappointingly shallow, but him being grumpy-but-accepting of the new Terrans fit with his S1 characterization. The bit where Skywarp complains when he doesn't do anything to punish "Spitfire's" disrespect could easily have been spun as him trying to be a better leader after his talk with Hashtag. I liked that he isn't stingy with praise when someone accomplishes something. Even the painfully underdeveloped motivation could have been expanded into him trying to do what he thought was best for his faction. All the building blocks for a villainous-but-sympathetic Starscream were right there.

Which is why watching everything fall apart in the last 20 minutes felt like character assassination.

You cannot convince me that the Starscream who knew Hashtag for an hour and was ready to risk his life for her is the same Starscream who murdered two children without blinking. You cannot convince me that the Starscream who criticized Megatron's violent leadership would consider it a compliment when he's called more cruel than Megatron. I don't care what previous Starscreams were like, this one had an established characterization that does not work with what we see later. Not unless working with the Autobots briefly completely disillusioned him to the possibility of a lasting peace.

Also, love how the time skip allows them to just avoid any sort of fallout from having the people you were working with go back to trying to kill you. Love how there was no deeper reason to the war restarting than "they're Decepticons". Heaven forbid we get any sort of conflict with the two sides trying and failing to work together, and the falling out being a shared responsibility and not just "the Cons were actually still evil, lol". Can't have anyone grappling with how things went wrong and wishing they'd done something differently to maintain the peace. Megatron yells at Starscream to end the war like the Autobots played no part in it continuing. Which is obviously the intent, but it just feels like such a lazy copout to keep the Good Guys morally pure.

The Decepticons were being hunted down and locked up. They had no reason to think well of the Autobots or the humans, which means that if the Autobots wanted peace, it was their responsibility to reach out and prove that things could be different. Yes, the Decepticons would need to put in effort too, but they were not the ones - at least not the only ones - who needed to prove that they meant well. If the two sides worked together for a while and the Decepticons still unanimously rejected the possibility of ending the war, the Autobots share the blame for that decision.

I have plenty of other issues with how S2 is going so far (why was Nightshade the only Terran who got completely relegated to side character?), but I'll save my rant about the Chaos Terrans for later. It'll be huge, trust me.

#transformers #Transformers EarthSpark #EarthSpark spoilers #Starscream

[brian-kinney-apologist]

I'm kind of confused and maybe it's because I'm a little slow or something? But I watched the episode and then I see people talking about how in love and yearning loustat are ( they're my faves) but where? Lestat, absolutely and his pleas to Armand show that yet again but what about Louis this episode screams madly in love and yearning for Lestat?

oh louis is absolutely down bad for lestat, trust me, in this essay I will......

1. louis (and armand lol) can't stop talking about lestat no matter the timeline, no matter what he (they) talks about it circle's back to lestat, louis is obsessed with him no matter what he tells himself

2. louis trashed lestat to young!daniel because he constantly walks through phases with lestat: louis regrets killing/leaving him, he gets depressed about it, remembers the good times, feels desperate to have lestat back, eventually gets mad at himself, lestat and the fact that they're no longer together, acts like lestat meant nothing to him, gets psychotic, does something drastic, cools down at some point, feels nothing, feels regret, the cycle continues

3. during the loumand coffin scene whan louis was in terrible pain, he once again was longing to get some comfort from lestat even if he wasn't sure it was real lestat and not armand fucking with him. he doesn't want armand to interact (even telepathically) with lestat, because he, louis, can't bare the idea that someone else can do that (reach lestat and actually talk to him) but not him, but also louis imo doesn't want them to interact because we just saw armand being vicious towards both louis and daniel and louis doesn't want lestat to go through the same in any shape or form. louis feels armand getting unstable again when lestat begs him to say to louis that he loves him and obviously louis doesn't hear that but he sees armand's face and so he feels the need to distract armand and reduces everything to the fact that lestat was just his maker and that's it. louis imo was trying to protect lestat in that scene

4. louis feels guilty for not saying I love you to lestat when they were together, we saw this theme continuing through the whole season (loumand and lesmand saying ily to each other, lestat constantly saying ily to louis) and thus I'm 100% sure louis will say ily to lestat later in the season while also crying screaming throwing up because of all the guilt he carries

so anon don't you worry, you just wait

#interview with the vampire #in loustat we trust #i hope you get what i mean #bc I'm still spiralling #tenses in this post ⬇️⬆️➡️⬅️↩️⤴️🔁↕️ #iwtv #amc iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #loustat #ask

[sonknuxadow]

okay im watching the new trailer again now that im actually able to take in all the details and also post more than just a couple screenshots with me screaming underneath them. im just gonna dump a bunch of my thoughts in one post instead of spamming your dash

ngl when they said "3 hedgehogs" i momentarily forgot classic sonic existed and was disappointed when i realized thats what they meant by that . surely that doesnt actually count as 3 hedgehogs if 2 of them are the same guy

SONIC UNLEASHED MENTIONED ‼️‼️‼️ it was a stage that was already in the original generations but still

SONIC 06 MENTIONED ‼️‼️‼️ a new stage though not one that was already in the game . not surprising considering that was one of shadow's major appearances . i wonder if theyll find a way to work in mephiles.. that would probably be hard to do that in a way that makes sense but it would be cool ..

shadow with wings is so sick also i didnt realize there was any voice acting in that moment because i didnt heart it the first time but thast not the point right now . theyre giving him actual black arms powers which is something ive wanted to see for so unbelievably long. Tjrows up everywhere.

really annoyed that people who get the digital deluxe edition get to play it several days early because i like having physical copies of my games and thats just gonna make the wait more torturous but whateverrrrr

#sonic x shadow generations #sonic x shadow generations spoilers #sega loves just showing us shadow like dangling keys in front of a baby and it doesnt usually work on me Well its working on me this time #but in my defense this isnt ''putting shadow in something for 5 seconds and hyping that up like its a big deal'' #theyre actually making shadow a main character and going into his backstory and stuff #and doing stuff with him that ive wanted to see for forever

[angstywaifu]

Love Doesn't Suit You - Brennan Sorrengail

Just a little idea that came into my head the other day, and just had to get written down for you all. That and I missed writing for this man. If any one has any Brennan ideas please send them my way. Pre Fourth Wing and Iron Flame (no spoilers), mentions of blood/violence, maybe bring tissues...... Requests Open.

Masterlist

Never in his life had Brennan thought he’d be in this situation. Especially not with you. But here he was, stuck in this situationship with his childhood friend. Too scared to man up and tell you how he really felt. In stead you slept together, kissed and flirted. But the second it came to a label on it, you bailed. Every single time he had to watch you enjoy the company of another person. Gods, he did it too sometimes. But none of them were you.

”You’re going to get caught one day if you keep this up.”

I jump back, hand clutching my chest as Brennan steps out of the shadows. The moonlight reflecting off his reddish brown hair. He knew I liked to do these late night flights. Knew I used them to clear my head of whatever chaos was going on in it at the time.

”Only if I do something stupid.” I reply before walking past him.

I hear him sigh behind me before walking after me. “Well considering some of your choices you make, it might not be long.”

”What’s that suppose to mean?” I ask as I turn on the steps to look up at him.

I knew exactly what he meant. It was the same argument we had every few weeks or months depending how it was going. Brennan wanted more but…. I couldn’t. The thought of being with someone more than just a casual thing terrified me.

”You’re in a situatioship with what, two or three people now?” He says without even looking at me. “What happens when one of them meets and figures it out? Or you get bored and come back to me?” His voice laced with anger.

”I was pretty open about it not being exclusive. I’ve always made it clear with you and them I wanted nothing more than sex.” I say through gritted teeth before turning my back to him and walking back down the stairs.

Brennan’s footsteps are quick to follow me, and I can tell by the sound he’s angry. I’ve hit a nerve. Good. It’s better that he hates me. I’ll only break his heart if I haven’t already.

”You and I know very well that they’ve fallen in love with you. Don’t act all innocent with me.” He tells me as he practically breathes down my neck.

I turn and push Brennan back, causing him to stumble into the step behind him.

”You mean falling in love like you did?” I snap, watching as he winces at my words. “I’ve always made it clear I wanted nothing more than something casual. Love doesn’t go well with our line of work. You know that.”

Brennan just shakes his head, scoffing at the comment. “Love just doesn’t go well with you.” He mutters quietly before pushing past me and walking away. “Maybe I was stupid for even thinking you would ever commit to something.”

I barely catch the last part. Knowing he didn’t intend for me to hear it. But I do. I stand frozen to the spot as Brennan’s footsteps disappear. His words echoing in my head. My heart feeling like it was just ripped to shreds and thrown on the ground. I squeeze my eyes shut as tears start to roll down my face. If only he knew. If only he knew how much I actually cared. How much I wanted to put a label on us. But I can’t. I shake my head, trying to clear the thoughts from my mind before slowly following Brennan down the rest of the stairs to the quadrant to try and get some sleep before tomorrow.

I’ve fucked up. My mind not focused on the my challenge. My mind still focused on what happened last night. Brennan’s words still echoing in my head from the night before. And because of that I hadn’t been fully focused. And now I would pay for it.

I can feel the blood dripping from the wound as my challenger pulls their knife out of my stomach. My hands rushing to apply pressure to the wound. Blood instantly seeping through my fingers as I drop to my hands and knees in the pool of blood forming on the floor. This is it. This is how I die. Black dots start to fill my vision as I feel myself slipping away. Over the ringing in my ears I hear someone calling, no screaming my name. Their voice is pained, as if they’re losing someone they love.

I cough, blood splattering the ground beneath me. Shit.

The last thing I see before I black out is a familiar pair of amber eyes looking at me in panic as they scream my name, trying to apply pressure to the wound as they pull me into their arms.

#fourth wing fanfic #the empyrean #fourth wing #fourth wing x reader #brennan sorregail #brennan sorrengail x reader #brennan sorrengail imagine #brennan sorrengail

[stoneagedevil]

They’ll Understand (Somethin’ Stupid pt. 2) | Alastor x f!Reader

Part 1: “Somethin’ Stupid”

TW/CW: Angel being Angel. Anxiety and fear. Allusions to murder.

🎙️

“Wear this little number? He won’t be able to resist ya!” Angel was keeping you captive in his room, currently raiding his closet in search for something you could wear to impress Alastor, and according to Angel, once you “reeled him in with your pretty face” and “rockin’ body” you’d be able to “bed him.” You weren’t necessarily pleased with his wording, your face turning as red as your dreamboat’s hair.

“Angel, while I appreciate the gesture, I’m not comfortable wearing a leather bikini.” You deadpanned. Your anxiety was nipping at your heels, and you felt the urge to run. From what? Most likely confessing. To where? You didn’t know. But you hated how it was bringing the skittish deer out of you, as it was truly embarrassing. Alastor and you often confided in each other on how your demonic forms had caused you numerous headaches, and you felt comforted that someone you admired so much also experienced the same things you did, just as he felt that way about you. But you didn’t run from things, as they typically ran from you. You stood from Angel’s bed and started pacing again in an attempt to quell the instinct to run.

“Even if he reciprocated, what am I meant to do with love? What happens after?” You tilted your head at Angel, and he dropped another inappropriate article of clothing in shock at your question.

“You mean you’ve neva seen those cheesy romance flix before?” Angel’s eyes widened. This was the saddest thing ever. Identifying these feelings was one thing, but the fact that you didn’t know how to act on them was so depressing to Angel. Just how emotionally constipated were you? Hadn’t you felt love before? What kind of life had you led that you didn’t know the feeling at all?

“I can’t say I really watched much TV. Just the same few movies I really enjoyed over and over again when I wanted to hear another’s voice. Definitely not romance films.” You contemplated. No, you couldn’t recall ever watching romance films. You weren’t particularly keen on watching much TV, and you only went to the movie theatre when something truly interested you. However, you would occasionally put on a movie in the background while doing chores such as laundry, as it filled the empty space; if it wasn’t a movie, it was music, and it most often was.

“Well sit your ass down then, because class is in session.” After unceremoniously pushing your shoulders down to make you sit on his bed once more, Angel immediately went to where he kept his romance movies, pulling out a handful and explaining each one to you, before making you watch the best scenes from each.

Initially, you were quite apprehensive. Angel the Love Doctor’s license was certainly questionable, especially with this prescription of mushy movies. But eventually, you resonated with a lot of the characters, specifically the ones who were troubled with their feelings, like that one “Edward Cullen” guy.

From your understanding, love was one of the most powerful emotions a person could feel. It drove these characters to do insane things that furthered the plot of the movie; things you’ve done because of your feelings for Alastor: like hurting people you felt threatened by. Through these scenes, you learned about jealousy, of so-called “butterflies,” how people apart hurt inside.

But love made them…happy. Happy. Content in domestic bliss. You felt a pull in your chest, realizing you couldn’t ever remember feeling that way. You hadn’t had anyone around you interested in the same things you were. You were always the outlier. Always the one picked last for things. It didn’t particularly bother you at the time; back when you were alive. You didn’t have much to care about. But now, you felt you had something good to die for, which made it that much more beautiful to live.

Your brows were furrowed in concentration, and you were so focused on the screen and the interactions between the lovers that Angel sat you in front of, you failed to notice a stream of tears coming from your eyes.

Angel quickly took notice, pausing the TV immediately. “Woah woah woah, why’re you crying babe?” He plucked a tissue from the box beside his bed and dabbed underneath your eyes. Fuck. He didn’t think he’d be making you feel bad.

“Crying?” You brought a hand up to your cheek, surprised to find it damp. You marveled at the way the films made you feel, how imagining Alastor and yourself in their shoes made you feel, staring at the teardrops on your fingertips. “I- I feel like I understand. Like a want has just become a need. It’s truly wonderful. Like a breath of fresh air.” You smiled softly, moving to look into Angel’s eyes.

“Sheesh dollface, you had me worried.” Angel rolled his eyes playfully, internally relieved that he hadn’t just made an overlord cry, but most of all, that he hadn’t made a friend cry. “So now that you kinda get it, what’re ya gonna do?” You brainstormed for a second at the question, as it didn’t take long to figure out what would make Alastor the happiest.

“Alastor is a musical man.” You stated, instantly becoming more analytical and focused on the best way to get your feelings across to Alastor. “He’d never shy away from listening to a good song…” You trailed off.

“…so? Are you thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’?” Angel smiled smugly. He knew you sang to yourself during daily tasks, but you weren’t much of an extrovert, only making scenes when you had to establish your title as an overlord whenever demons seemed to forget. He imagined if you knew he could hear you singing in the shower next to his room, you’d be mortified. It was funny how you and Alastor could be so different, yet so alike, as Alastor was an extroverted entertainer.

“I’m thinking that in order to make him listen, and to make this special, I should sing for him. People always say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but Alastor is quite adept at cooking. He wouldn’t need me for that.” You smiled to yourself, thinking back to times when Alastor would have you taste test a dish. Perhaps food was the way to your heart too, specifically his cooking.

—

Charlie was currently helping Alastor come up with sure fire ways to make you his officially (in his head you already were). Her notepad was filled with things her and Alastor knew you liked, hoping to put the information to good use.

Charlie had become wildly animated, smile stretched from cheek to rosy cheek. “You should tell her with a grand gesture! With fireworks and flowers and confetti and chocolates and singing and-“ Alastor raised a hand to stop her barrage of outlandish ideas.

“Charlie, I’m afraid that’s a bit too much.” Alastor stubbed out her sparkling ideas like a cigarette. While he was known to be grand in his executions (literal executions as well), he wanted this to be more personal. More intimate. Part of it was that he was incredibly shy about his romantic feelings for you, though he’d never let on to it. You were an intimidating woman, it was one of the reasons he fell in love with you, so he preferred to do this in private where no one could see his facial expressions. In addition to that, he knew how introverted you were in comparison to him; an incredibly private person.

“Okay, what about dinner at a super fancy restaurant? And flowers. You have to give her flowers.”

“And how do you propose I do that?” He summoned a rose, which had begun to rapidly wilt and die soon after the stem had touched his fingertips. It irked him. Something he previously didn’t have a problem with now stood in between him and your heart.

“Oh…” Charlie’s head hit the table. How was she supposed to help Hell’s population problem if she couldn’t even help Alastor express his romantic feelings for you? This was so hard.

“Fret not my dear, your dinner idea was exceptional! However, I think I should be the one to make the dishes.” A candlelit dinner with your favorite food being brought to you by him? You’d already expressed how much you enjoyed his cooking every time he held a spoonful of food up to your face. Feeding you and hearing you sing his praises on another culinary success made him feel as though he were floating. With you by his side, he was sure he wouldn’t have to walk anywhere ever again.

“That’s a great idea! I bet that would really impress her! And I can be the one to put the flowers on the table so they don’t wilt!” She clasped her face in between her hands, almost as if she was trying to stop her smile from getting any wider.

Immediately after establishing their plans, Alastor and his wing-woman Charlie had begun to research the best recipes pertaining to your tastes.

This had to be absolutely perfect, Alastor thought.

—

Music. It was what you and Alastor had bonded most over. He showed you Jazz’s greatest artists, the pioneers of brassy sounds, and you adored his passion in the genre. You listened to what you liked, as simple as that sounds. Your tastes often surpassed any one genre, and you found yourself dipping your hooves into anything; even just to give it a chance.

If music had brought you so close to Alastor, surely it would bring you even closer. Once you left Angel’s room, you dove into your collections of vinyl and CDs you acquired over your time in Hell. The greatest hits pertaining to love flooded your room, and you listened intently to the lyrics. Looking down at the notepad in front of you, you began to write about the way Alastor made you feel. This had to be absolutely perfect, you thought.

—

A couple days passed, and as Alastor opened the door to his hotel room to step out and retrieve the suit he was having pressed, a note taped onto it caught his ruby sight. With an eyebrow raised, he skeptically plucked the note from his door and began to read it.

“Dearest Alastor,

I hope you’ll find the time to come to the ballroom located in the hotel at 6pm. I’ve made a gift for you, and I’m hoping you’ll accept.

From,

Y/N”

You sat writing many iterations of that damned letter. Was “With love” too much? “Forever yours” most certainly was, no matter how true it was. “Sincerely” was stupid. Maybe you should just keep it simple.

“From, Y/N.” Simple. Simply stupid. But you went with it anyway.

Alastor’s heart leaped up to his throat, he was sure if he opened his mouth, it would jump out and find its way towards you. He retreated back into his room, opening one of the drawers he dedicated to you. It was filled with notes containing songs you’ve written down for him, and songs he wrote down that you recommended verbally. The wilted rose he wished so desperately to give to you that was used as a demonstration to Charlie on why he couldn’t. Receipts from outings you two accompanied each other on, and his ticket from your trip to the movie theatre that was playing one of your favorite movies at the time. He truly tried his best to pay attention to the silver screen, but he mostly found himself enamored with the way the light from the screen lit up your face.

He gently placed his newest treasure in the drawer, excited to see what you had in store for the night. Though, on the other hand, he was a bit nervous and disappointed. He’d planned on picking up all of the ingredients for a dish that would knock your socks off, in addition to picking up his pressed suit. If you had something to give to him, he wouldn’t have time to cook this night. His heart and shadow were getting antsy, the latter outwardly showing his deepest desires which he adamantly detested. He’d catch his shadow practically making heart eyes at you, and Alastor found himself wishing he would wave his hands at it to make it diminish like cigarette smoke in the air.

No matter! Perhaps after whatever you had planned, he’d ask you to a dinner cooked and presented by him. Closing the drawer, he made his way out to the dry cleaners to ensure he wouldn’t forget his suit when the time came to woo you. However, what he did forget, was letting Charlie know of this change of plans, who had already helped in setting up a table for two with red roses and unlit candles in a candelabra sitting in the center; all set up in the very room you wished to deliver your gift.

—

You had spent quite some time writing your song dedicated to Alastor, and soon after its completion, you enlisted the help of your souls-turned-shadows to play instruments and do background vocals. There was no way in Hell you’d allow a demon to aid in this. You rehearsed a few times before deeming it a perfect performance that you were willing to give to Alastor. The time was now a little after 4, and you decided to get ready.

Your hair was curled, makeup to your liking, and you wore a black tea-length dress with an abundance of white tulle underneath the skirt to make it flare out more. The sweetheart neckline sported a small, white, satin bow in the center. You slipped on a shiny pair of black kitten heels, opting for more of a comfortable dress shoe - your nerves were sure to make you incredibly uncomfortable, so you attempted to counteract that a bit by making your physical self as comfortable yet stylish as it could be. As a finishing touch, you clasped a string of pearls around your neck. They were a gift from Alastor when he found out that it was your birthday. You told him you didn’t need anything, and that birthdays sort of lost their meanings when you lived for so long in Hell, but he wouldn’t hear any of it, adamantly telling you that your birth was something to be celebrated. If you had figured out your feelings for him by then, you’re sure you would have kissed him.

You turned to look into the mirror wondering if Alastor would think you looked nice. Nervously, you made your way to Angel’s room beside yours. Hesitantly you knocked, opening the door when a muffled “come in” prompted you to.

“What’s up toots? Hey! Don’t you clean up nice!” He exclaimed, getting up from his bed and taking your hand to spin you around, dress flaring out around you as you spun.

“You don’t think it’s too much? Or too little?” You looked into Angel’s mirror, your hands worrying over any perceived imperfection. Angel once more grabbed your hands to stop them from flying around.

“Girl, you look great, and I know he’ll think so too.” He quelled your nerves. Then you did something out of character, you hugged him. Initially taken aback, Angel’s arms tightened around you.

“Thank you Angel.”

—

Alastor arrived at 6 on the dot. Not always punctual, never late, and always on time. Although he did want to arrive at the ballroom earlier, he didn’t want to seem too eager, even though he most certainly was. His excitement rolled off of him in waves, making the demons he met along the way to pick up his suit even more uneasy than usual.

When he walked through the grand doors, he saw his little setup that he and Charlie planned to set up for the dinner date. He contemplated hiding the table, conjuring a portal to a shadow dimension and pushing the evidence of his feelings for you into the dark abyss, but before he could act on this, he heard the clicking of heels making their way across the stage portion of the ballroom.

You were a vision, and he considered pinching himself as he thought he was looking at an angel. He hadn’t mistakenly enrolled in the redemption program, did something good, and then made his way upstairs, did he? You stood in front of a silver microphone, your hands shakily grasping it to keep yourself steady. Alastor clumsily grasped the back of one of the chairs meant for the two of you, slowly lowering himself into the seat and never taking his eyes off of your form.

“My gift is a song I’ve written with you in mind.” You said simply, and although you outwardly looked as confident as you always did, internally you were sure you were dying a second time.

The sounds of a glockenspiel sounded throughout the room signifying the beginning of the song, followed by background vocals singing “Anyone.” You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and stepping closer to the mic before beginning your song.

“You can blame me,

Try to shame me,

And still I'll care for you,

You can run around,

Even put me down,

Still I'll be there for you,”

You knew he’d never do these things to you, but you wanted to tell him that no matter the hardships, you’d always be there for him. Alastor’s heart was beating faster than it ever had before, was this a love song? No…

“The world

May think I'm foolish,

They can't see you,

Like I can,

Oh but anyone,

Who knows what love is,

Will understand”

It’s amusing to think that not too long ago, you were someone who didn’t understand. But here you are now, singing that you couldn’t care less about what others would think if they knew the depths of your feelings for Alastor.

Speaking of the devil, these blasted eyes of his kept fogging up, making it difficult to see you. Nobody has ever done this sort of thing for him, and he was absolutely enamored with your voice and the lyrics you wrote about him. He gripped the chair that he was sitting in, afraid he’d float away and miss the rest of your carefully crafted performance. He’d never seen you with so much emotion on your face, these visual feelings you possessed highlighted by pink and red lights. He would’ve been grateful for the color choice, as it hid his bright red face, but he couldn’t find it in him to care, much less even notice the effect you had on him. All he could see and hear was you, and he wanted it to be that way forever.

“I just feel so sorry,

For the ones,

Who pity me,

'Cause they just don't know,

Oh they don't know what happiness and love can be,”

You opened your eyes to stare into Alastor’s as you delivered the next few lines.

“I know,

I know to ever let you go,

It's more,

Than I,

Could ever stand,

Oh but anyone,

Who knows what love is,

Will understand”

You thought about how Angel had helped you understand in his own strange way, and this verse was almost like a thank you note to him. The music began to lull as you sang the last few lines.

“Oh they'll understand,

If they try love they'll understand,

Oh try to understand”

The last line was for Alastor, and you almost prayed he would try and understand your feelings for him, and hopefully realize any feelings he had for you.

The song had finally finished, and if Alastor had a time machine he’d travel three minutes into the past in order to hear you sing again. Then he’d do it over and over and over again. Making your way down from the stage, Alastor shot up from his seat. He’d rehearsed how he’d proclaim his undying love for you, but now that you’d done it first, he was scrambling.

He panicked. He actually panicked. He ripped the red roses from the vase sat on table and held them out to you, the both of you watching in shock (Alastor mostly in horror) as the roses had the life sucked out from their stems and the vase tipped over causing water to spill onto the floor between you both. His smile tightened, eyes snapping shut as he debated teleporting far, far away from here; never to return. But his jumbled and anxiety ridden thoughts were cut short when he felt soft hands gently pry open his larger ones, taking the flowers. It was you, and you were smiling the biggest smile he’d ever seen you make, and it was directed at him.

You lifted the dead roses to your face and inhaled the remnants of their floral scent, and Alastor’s heart melted at the gesture.

“Your song was wonderful my dear. May I ask for an encore?” He said, shyly. Your cheeks turned rosy, and you bashfully looked away.

“You didn’t think it was ridiculous?” You asked hopefully, tightly clutching your dead bouquet.

“Ridiculous? It was nothing of the sort! For a moment I thought I was in Heaven and I was most-“

You tugged him down by the collar of his shirt and pressed an unsure kiss to his lips. His ears stood straight up, tail secretly wagging behind him, just as yours did. He melted into the affectionate gesture, moving his claws to cradle your neck and the small of your back in order to bring you closer. Pulling away, you lovingly gazed into each other's eyes.

“Y/N, your performance was absolutely astounding. I’d trade every vinyl in my collection for just a second more.” And that was the truth. He was sure no song would ever compare to the masterpiece you crafted for him. Because of him.

“Then I suppose I’ll just have to record it and have it pressed just for you. You wouldn’t happen to know a guy with recording equipment, would you?” You flirted.

“My darling, of course I do! He’s quite the catch too, though using the equipment comes with a price.” He smiled smugly, cheeks just as red as yours.

“Oh? And what would that be?”

“You’ll have to allow him to call you his girl, it’s just the rules my darling.” Internally, he was nervous you’d reject him. Why? You just wrote, composed, and performed an entire song for him. But it was you. Anyone would be lucky to have you, and he couldn’t believe quite yet that you returned the feelings he’d been trying to grapple with for some time.

You pressed a kiss to his cheek, leaving a kiss mark (one he’d refuse to wipe off for some time). “I’d love nothing more.”

—

Later that night, Alastor and you had retired to your room. You sat at the end of your couch, his head resting in your lap as you told each other stories about what you had stupidly done in the name of your unknown love for each other.

“It’s funny, that table was in the ballroom because I planned on taking you on a dinner date tonight. Charlie lent a hand in planning it.” Alastor revealed.

You tilted your head at the fact that Alastor too had a “wingman” as Angel had put it. “Charlie? How funny, Angel helped me with some things too. He actually helped me realize my feelings for you.”

“Charlie helped me the same way. She said that you obviously fancied me.” He had a smug smile on his face, looking for your reaction.

Your eyebrows shot up to your hairline at the allegation. “What? How? Was I truly that obvious?”

“Yes, well, a little birdy told me about a certain carpet incident with Mimzy, my darling.” That was his favorite story. He’d often imagine you glaring angrily at a clueless Mimzy, lifting a manicured claw and causing the poor blonde’s face to harshly meet the floor.

You turned your nose up indignantly. “Incident? I was merely helping her get a better look at the carpet she continuously complimented you on picking out.” You huffed, crossing your arms. Alastor laughed at your adorable behavior, loving the jealousy that came off you in waves at the mention of Mimzy.

“Don’t worry my love, no other woman could compare to you. Anyone who knows what love is could see I only have eyes for you.”

—♥️—

I hoped you all enjoyed that, and I really appreciate the love you all gave to part 1!

Taglist: @alastruist @martinys-world @ustulia

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #alastor x reader #fanfic #x reader #hazbin fandom #hazbin fanfic #alastor fanfiction #Spotify

[nhasablogg]

If I'm to let it in, it might just stay forever

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Characters: Derek/Spencer

Summary: Derek and Spencer go to the tickle club.

Anonymous said: So in the For Love to Replace your Shame fic the last line basically says that after a couple weeks they walk back into the club hand in hand. I was wondering if you could write a small fic where Derek and Spencer are in the club together? I just wanna see Spencer actually be able to enjoy it :)) -M

Words: 1.4k

Read it on AO3.

Referenced fic here.

Spencer looked good under the flashing lights. Not necessarily as though he belonged, because he was visibly nervous, his grip on Derek’s hand tight enough to be uncomfortable, but he looked good because he seemed giddy. A spark in his eyes which Derek hadn’t really seen before, especially not in regards to this, something that still made him shut down before he realized he wasn’t being judged.

The Feather was jam-packed. A Saturday, which had been absolutely freezing and miserable, prompting desperate people to seek fun after dark, and boy did they sound like they were having fun. Now that Derek was here off the clock he felt much more relaxed, and so he was taking it all in differently. Not seeking, simply watching, though he was mostly watching Spencer. While Spencer was obviously still a bit on edge it wasn’t as bad as their first couple of visits. He wasn’t alone with his feelings anymore, his shoulders lighter. His eyes were everywhere, head going back and forth, his cheeks pinkening as the ticklish laughter surrounded them.

Derek leaned closer to him to be heard over the music. “We can stay as long as you want, which also means we can leave whenever, okay?”

Spencer nodded. “Okay.”

“I mean it, pretty boy. The minute you want to leave, we leave.”

Spencer squeezed his hand. “I hear you.”

“Good.” Derek squeezed back, wondering if the visit would include him tickling Spencer at all or if they would be saving it until later, behind the four walls of a bedroom. He’d just started doing it, tickling Spencer until he was a giggly mess, without it ending with Derek having to reassure him that he loved that this was something he wanted him to do. Not that he minded it, but he was glad it was becoming easier now. He quite enjoyed himself doing it.

They’d decided to come back to The Feather because Derek found it unfair that Spencer had had his eye on this club for ages before he’d been forced to visit it due to a case, but what Derek hadn’t told him was that he was equally as curious to return. Curious about it all, curious about what would catch Spencer’s eye, about how he would react. Spencer could probably feel his gaze on him, and while he might’ve felt self conscious about it he seemed entirely too preoccupied to say anything about it.

“Oh, look, I did that to you last night.” Derek didn’t mean for it to sound as any form of teasing - he genuinely felt a surge of excitement as he caught sight of a woman trying to twist out of the grip of another woman who was targeting her hips - but Spencer covered his face in embarrassment anyway. Maybe Derek wasn’t too mad about it.

“I think this might end me,” he said, peeking out when Derek nudged him.

Spencer didn’t know this, but Derek hadn’t been able to stop thinking of this, this moment, the things Spencer had told him, for the past few days. He’d imagined them entering. Imagined Spencer being grabbed left and right by unknown, eager hands. He’d imagined being jealous, but there had been something appealing about the sight, too. Sensual, almost. Of course that didn’t end up happening, because these people valued consent more than anything. And besides, Spencer didn’t want to come here to get tickled by others. He’d told him that countless times.

“I want to experience it normally,” he’d said. “Remove the case from it.”

And Derek, who had thought of the case nearly every single day since it had happened, had understood what he meant.

They hadn’t talked about what they expected out of this experience. Spencer had seemed too anxious and excited and shy all at the same time for Derek to want to ask. He couldn’t imagine he wanted strangers to touch him anyway, besides his protests, but if he did, in the midst of drunken giddiness to finally be able to be himself, non-judged, Derek needed to quickly decide how he felt about it, because who was he to deny Spencer this if he wanted it?

But who was he kidding. He didn’t like the idea of that at all.

“Quick question,” he said as they elbowed their way deeper into the room, aiming to take a lap before ordering drinks. “I know you said you don’t want to, but if someone grabs for you, am I supposed to protect you?”

“If someone- grabs for me?”

“You know. Pulls you into a tickle fight.”

“Oh. Well, I doubt anyone would.”

“Right, but if.”

“Sure, yeah, protect me. I don’t think I’d like that.”

“I don’t think I’d like that either.”

Spencer grinned, the last bit of anxiety falling off his face. “You’d be jealous.”

“I so wouldn’t.”

“Uh huh.”

Derek liked the fact that Spencer was smiling too much to get all in his feelings about this, and so he merely pulled him closer with the pretense of pulling him with him. He wasn’t stupid enough to think Spencer believed that that was his intention, but it made him feel better to pretend. They’d not reached the stage where honesty overpowered anything else yet. They still had walls, although they’d broken down several of them pre-relationship, if that was what they had. They’d not talked about it.

Derek was absolutely terrified to talk about it, truth be told.

“You think we can just- go in?” he asked as they stopped in front of a door labeled “bondage room”.

Spencer shook his head. “We shouldn’t either way. I wouldn’t want to have people see that.”

“That’s fair.” Memories of the case flashed before him. The idea of Spencer tied up, helpless. The thing he desired being used against him.

A hand on his wrist, squeezing it. “I’m okay, Derek.”

Derek knew he wasn’t, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he slipped his hand into Spencer’s, squeezing it back. “Let’s get something to drink, okay?”

Spencer nodded and they made their way through the crowd hand in hand, something Derek still wasn’t used to.

“Do you want a Tickle Me Drink or a Blushy Lee Bourbon?” Derek asked him as they sat down by the bar, reading off the menu on the wall. When he turned back to him Spencer was blushing, although he didn’t avert his gaze, and Derek suddenly felt as if he would explode.

“Not a fan of bourbon,” was all he said, glancing down up the drinks list. “How about a Pick Your Spot Pina Colada?”

“You got it, pretty boy.”

Derek wanted to tease him about picking a drink without a name which he would have a hard time saying out loud, but he didn’t. Instead he leaned over toward the bartender - not the bastard from the case - and ordered for them both. Derek picked the Cosmotickleton, grinning when Spencer squirmed beside him.

“So,” he said as the bartender went away to start on their drinks. “How are you feeling so far?”

Spencer shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot to take in after everything.” Derek leaned closer, a finger on Spencer’s arm. “How ‘bout you tell me what you’re liking?”

Spencer shivered, subtly, but Derek could feel it. “About the club?”

“Uh huh.”

“I like how accepting it is.” His answer came quickly and easily. “It’s loud and overstimulating, but- well, I’ve never felt safe in a club before, you know?”

Derek wanted to ask more. Wanted to hear him talk about the particular tickle scenarios that were happening all around him, but realized Spencer wasn’t here for that. Realized there was more to it than the exposure to the tickling itself. Maybe one day Derek would understand. He was happy to wait, happy to explore, happy to solve parts of the puzzle himself until that day.

They got their drinks, clinked their glasses together and watched the dance floor. Watched people kiss and grind and tickle and jump. And later, they danced - Spencer was a hip swinger much to Derek’s delight - and as they pressed close, and with Spencer’s permission, he pressed his fingers into his sides, making him swing in a different way. And even later, when they stumbled into Derek’s apartment because it was closer, Derek kissed him for several minutes before he went for his ribs, but only because Spencer had grown impatient.

#tickling #tickle fic #ticklish!spencer reid #criminal minds fic #If I'm to let it in it might just stay forever #n writes

[billdenbrough]

eddie prompted me twinyards after graduation for our 500w/1hr ficlet challenge. this version is the 750w variant but i did get one down to 500w, this one was just closer to the brief lol

There is a world, Andrew knows, where the ceremony ends and Aaron takes off his cap, his gown, and hands them to Nicky. Everything he owns fits into a duffel bag that he slings over his shoulder as he steps out the door. He does not look back.

-

That is not this world.

-

“Eat shit, Neil,” Aaron says, flipping off the man in question with one hand while the other mashes hard on the A button to send shells at him.

Kevin, on the other side of Aaron, winces. It never fails to amuse Andrew, the way Aaron mocked Kevin’s uselessness at gaming enough that he started to develop a modicum of empathy.

“Learn to drive, Aaron,” Neil retorts, his tongue sticking out to the side as he scowls at the screen, concentrating on passing Toadette.

Bowser suddenly shows up out of nowhere, knocking between both their karts. Aaron swears viciously and Neil mumbles something under his breath about Nicky, who cackles. Kevin never looks away from the screen. Andrew doesn’t know what good he thinks it’s going to do.

Neil’s back is a line of heat against Andrew’s shin. Andrew closes his eyes, letting the sound of Aaron taunting Kevin—are you allergic to accelerating? Is this the real reason you made Andrew drive you fucking everywhere? Don’t be a pussy, throw it at me like you mean it—fill his head. His mouth quirks up at the corner.

-

“People are going to think I’m the fun twin if you keep hanging out in carparks,” Aaron says, footsteps crunching gravel.

Andrew drops his cigarette, grinding it beneath his heel. “That should not be the deciding factor.”

Aaron hums. He leans against the car: not-quite-close enough to be touching, but near enough that Andrew can feel his warmth emanating.

The thing about Aaron is that he’s been reaching out to Andrew his whole life. He’s never been good at recognising what it looks like when Andrew is holding on tightly because he doesn’t want to let go, but credit where it’s due: no matter what Andrew throws in his face, Aaron stubbornly stays close enough to reach him, even when it’s like reaching his arm into a burning car.

Aaron’s always been bad at walking away from a car crash. Andrew would know; he had to orchestrate one once just to keep Aaron out of the headlights.

“Have you packed?” he asks eventually.

“Mostly,” Aaron says. “Kevin said he’d give me a ride, which meant he bitched at me to get my shit in his car way earlier than necessary.”

Andrew hums. “I could have given you a ride,” he says.

He can feel Aaron’s gaze. “I didn’t want to interfere with your trip,” he says. “Didn’t know my dates. Kevin said he was just fucking around Wymack’s anyway.”

Andrew does not say, I would have waited, even though it’s true. Neil would have let him. Andrew might have done it regardless.

He says, “Kevin did not.”

Aaron says, “Only because he’s a fucking liar. He said he was helping out.”

“He’s not a helpful person,” Andrew says, not unreasonably. Then, he adds, “Off the court.”

Exercises in honesty.

“See?” Aaron says. “Fucking around.” He sighs, leaning back his head. Andrew watches the line of his throat from the side of his eye, clocking the way a breath rolls through it.

He remembers waking up in the hospital room and seeing Aaron sitting in the chair beside his bed. Hoodie threadbare around the wrists, grey and faded. Everything about Aaron looked faded those days: the colour of his hair, the light in his eyes, the bruises peeking out around his ribs.

Andrew remembers everything. Aaron’s first letter. The tentative twist to the first smile Andrew teased out of him, sixteen and too used to flinching for Andrew to forgive. Are you in for another five years? Aaron’s hair beneath his hands, blood all over them both, everywhere.

“Don’t get a cold in Chicago,” he says instead of any of that.

Aaron scoffs. “Yeah, stellar medical advice,” he says. Then, looking directly at Andrew, “You too.”

“I will not be in Chicago,” Andrew replies.

“Asshole,” Aaron mutters. It’s fonder than it ought to be. “I hope you and Neil get chlamydia.”

Andrew snorts. “The future of America’s medical system,” he says dryly. He thinks he’s smiling.

It’s okay. Aaron is too.

-

In this world, Aaron reaches out – tugs – holds Andrew beside Kevin’s stupid Jeep.

Andrew reaches back – holds on – does not let go.

#andrew minyard #aaron minyard #aftg #all for the game #twinyards #flash fic game #sorry i can’t remember my own tags. i blame having covid but it’s probably just me #andreil is in this bc (gestures) but it’s not about them #jane writes sometimes #aftg fic #time to write an actual fic and watch fright night with my sister after the shower ig