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#it’s 2am sorry if this doesn’t make sense but like i just really don’t think they’re the same person LMAO i’ll gladly eat my words if hyvs
latinokaeya-moving · 2 years
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sorry that i’m a hater but i was able to flesh out my opinions out more earlier today while making dumplings and infodumping to harry abt genshin again and like. kaeya’s dad and pierro being the same person doesn’t make sense even just basing it off the very little we know abt them as characters im sorryyyy (and especially not with their implied ideological goals when it comes to what they want wrt khaenriah either)
#x#gi posting#why would a man who’s 500+ years old and has the power title and prestige granted to him from being the leader of an organisation backed by#a literal godamn archon be in the position of relying on a literal child to being the ‘last hope’ of a nation he saw destroyed himself and#now seeks revenge against celestia for… like he doesn’t need to do all that lmao#he’s a Fatui Harbinger…. he’s got better things to do w his time#the actions of kaeyas dad read more as a fringe group clinging to n grasping at straws bc they think a little kid is their#miraculous last form of salvation somehow#also ideologically they don’t even have the same goals kaeyas dad clearly still views khaenriah as something that’s still alive/worth trying#to preserve. pierros lore in the trailer n the mocking mask tells us he’s far past thinking abt khaenriah the nation in that way#he wants to get his revenge against the gods/celestia for what they did to khaenriah but to him khaenriah is already gone#there’s nothing to save. only really avenge#it’s 2am sorry if this doesn’t make sense but like i just really don’t think they’re the same person LMAO i’ll gladly eat my words if hyvs#goes through with it but it would just be really lame#the one way theoretically that it could work would be taking into account weird time shenanigans and pierro being a weirdo deadbeat which.#plausible. but i hate it#just make him the uncle/distant relativeeee pleaseeee if u must#hell they don’t even have to be related like that is also a possibility i’m just saying lmao
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arthur-r · 1 year
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[stupid college vent under cut i’m sorry]
so fucking stressed because tonight is the final deadline for all admissions materials including my stupid letter of recommendation and it’s likely not been received by the institution so that’s literally it and if they didn’t fucking get it then that’s fucking it and i’m not even getting considered for early action and if i’m not early action then they don’t WANT me i’m not fucking good enough for this college and i’m terrified and the most stupid terrible tiny little mistakes are making it all not even be able to happen!!!! i am going to burst!!!!!!!!
#fighting with my mom right now because she said everything will be perfectly fine and that the college won’t care#but i talked to the person on the phone and she said they fucking care. she said i won’t be early action if they don’t get it by 2AM tonight#and there’s nothing i can fucking do and no one i’m emailing is getting back to me because it’s election day!!#who put the application deadline the day after halloween and the materials deadline on election day. this is so stupid#anyway my teacher uploaded my letter of rec on friday (late) and didn’t hit the submit button (naviance is stupid and doesn’t make sense)#so i fixed that on monday morning with help from a counselor but it doesn’t fucking matter because it still takes time to process#and they don’t fucking have it yet so that’s just it!!!! i am literally just blindly hoping for time to work in my favor#and i’m going to cry#that’s actually a lie i’m already crying i’ve been crying the entire time i’m writing this. i’m just so scared#and this is the college that i care about more than anywhere else that i’ve looked at and it’s not fucking fair that they don’t care about#me and they aren’t going to get my stupid application and they’re not going to fucking care about me and i’m so tired#and if they don’t get it in time then none of this was worth it and i’ve spent months in a constant state of stress for a deadline that#wont even matter anymore and they don’t care that i did every single piece of the application on time because the one part that wasn’t in my#control arrived too late and i literally have absolutely no fucking time to fix it!!!! by the time i’m at school it’s too late#and tomorrow is picture retake day and i have scabs all over because i’m stressed and my old picture is bad but so will be my new one#anyway i’m upset and scared and sad and i don’t know what to do. and this won’t help anything but i just kind of needed to fall apart#my entire family is upset with me for bringing down the mood and i’m fucking sorry but my entire life trajectory is on the line here#madison is cheaper than any other college that’s paid attention to me even when you include the scholarships of the other places#and it’s a better school in general and one that i care about a lot. i would really like to be accepted#but my grade average is too low for them and if i’m not early action i just don’t think they’re going to care about me. and i need them to#and so yeah. and this is stupid and terrible and i’m upset. and that’s all. sorry for being in this way. i hope everyone is well#me. my post. mine.#delete later#vent tw#college talk
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harlowsbby · 10 months
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Good Off You
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You’ve been feeling empty within your relationship with Jack as of lately all it seemed like the two of you did was argue about the same things.
It was always about Mia she was one of his close friends from Atlanta he swore up and down like a sailor that she wasn’t someone you had to worry about but if that was the case how come you felt as if you needed to worry.
This relationship was starting to feel very much one sided or that there was a disconnect and that disconnect was coming from Jack, you weren’t sure how you were going to fix your relationship with Jack or if it was even worth saving at this point.
————————————————————————
“What’s going on with you two? According to Nemo, Jack’s been at his house all week.”
You called Neelam earlier that day telling her you needed to get out of the house you didn’t care where the two of you went you just needed time away from that house.
“Did he lie and say that I was the one that kicked him out the house?” Neelam was quiet you chuckled and rolled your eyes. “You see what I mean he’s always playing this pick me role and acting like I’m the problem when it’s really him.” You defended yourself.
“What’s even going on? I don’t even know the full story.” The last you wanted to do was bring everyone into your relationship you hated having people in your business but you trusted Neelam.
“You know Mia right?” She nodded her head. “Yeah I know Mia.”
You sighed heavily, “Lately I just don’t.. I don’t know he’s been talking to her a lot more and you know I’ve always had weird feelings about her from the start and Jack always told me I didn’t have to worry about her but now.” You paused. “I’m starting to worry about her.”
You didn’t want your relationship with Jack to end this way you didn’t want to be the one being cheated on. You thought he loved you at least that’s what he said and made you believe and feel. You always had this feeling that deep down Jack wasn’t really yours like that because he always had Mia.
“What was your last argument about? If you don’t mind me asking because he told Nemo that you kicked him out.” You huffed and looked at her. “About Mia.”
A few days ago
“Why is she texting you at Damn 2am in the morning huh? That’s all I want to know and you’re beating around the fucking bush with your answer dammit!” It was 2am in the morning and while you’d much rather be fast asleep in bed instead you were up arguing with Jack.
“I told you it’s nothing just drop it already would you.” He snapped back and snatched his phone from your grasp. “No I won’t just drop it because it doesn’t make sense as to why she’s calling you this fucking late.”
He ignored you and kept texting away on his phone probably responding back to Mia no doubt. “Are you even listening to me?” He scoffed and looked up at you his blue eyes that you once fell in love with were now filled with what seemed to be hatred and irritation. “You’re talking aren’t you? You know I can’t deal with this tonight Y/N.”
You scrunched your eyebrows together wondering where he was going. “Where are you going?” You watched as he got up and grabbed his keys and wallet. “Jack? Where are you going.” You walked over to him and grabbed his hand trying to pull him into you but he shook you off.
“I’m going to Nemo’s for a bit I think some time apart will do us some good.” He stated with no emotion whatsoever. “Are you kidding me right now?” You scoffed and shook your head at him.
“Honestly I can’t believe you right now you’d rather walk out than just tell me the truth.” He raised his eyebrows. “The truth on what? I told you nothing is going on better Mia and Myself, I’m sorry you’re just so insecure and can’t handle the fact that I have female friends.” He spat.
You were taken back by his response never in your entire time of being with Jack has he ever said something like that to you or even spoke to you that way. “Fine just go.” You whispered and hugged yourself and looked down at the ground, you knew if you were to make eye contact you’d break down crying instantly.
“I’ll see you around Y/N.” When the door was closed you finally let your tears fall you cried the entire night till you cried yourself to sleep.
Current time
“He said all that to you? I can’t even believe it.” Neelam was in disbelief she never thought in a million years would Jack ever talk to someone he claimed he loved like that.
“Yeah he said all of that and I haven’t heard from him since. I just hate the way I know he’s sleeping with her but he won’t admit it.” You just wanted him to be honest with you even if the truth hurt.
The two of you decided to sit at the park you on one swing and Neelam on the other, the two of you sat on the swings just watching the sunset.
“What should I do? Do I just break up with him or do I stay with him.” You mumbled and fiddled with the hem of your hoodie.
“I’d hate to see the two of you break up but you know what sometimes you gotta make a decision that breaks your heart but gives you peace.” Neelam told you.
You knew this wasn’t going to be easy because you loved Jack you were honestly afraid to find a new love after Jack because you felt as if all guys were going to be the same.
————————————————————————
“Let’s go Y/N the Uber is already outside waiting on us!” Neelam yelled from the bottom of the stairs the two of you were going to Ace’s rooftop party he was celebrating the release of his newest solo project, you knew Jack was going to be there so you decided to dress up a bit tonight just to show him what he was missing.
You twirled around a few times making sure your outfit looked good. You grabbed your purse and headed downstairs where Neelam stood. “It’s about damn time the guy was threatening to leave.” You put your hands up in defense. “Sorry I had to make sure I looked good.”
“Whatever let’s just get going before Urban and Sunni eat up all the food.” The car ride to the hotel was fairly short so you made it under 10 minutes.
When you made it to the top of the roof you immediately when to the edge of the building and took in the beauty of Downtown Louisville at night, there was a few fireworks going off in the distance and a few people down below just laughing and having a good time but the moon is what caught your eye.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” You rolled your eyes open hearing that familiar voice. “It is beautiful now what do you want.”
“Can you at least look at me.” You took a second trying your best to prepare yourself you turned around slowly and was met face to face with Jack. He licked his lips as he looked you up and down. “You look good as always baby.”
“Thanks.” You both stood there awkwardly you didn’t really know what to say I mean the last time the two of you tried talking it resulted in a argument. “Look I’m sorry for what I said what I said was wrong.” “You think? You hurt my feelings Jack.”
He licked his lips and sighed. “I know I did and I’m sorry baby I don’t wanna lose you I promise I’m done talking to Mia.” You raised your eyebrow at him. “Oh really? And what made you stop taking to her.”
“Because I’d rather have a life with you than live a life without you.” He stated. “Really?” You whispered and sniffled which made Jack laugh.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting all soft and shit now.” He stuck his arms out and you quickly ran into his arms, he grinned and wrapped his arms around you tight and started swinging the two of you back and forth.
“I love you so much baby.” “I love you too Jack.”
You both pulled away from each other and Jack looped his hands with yours. “Let’s go enjoy tonight yeah?” You smiled and nodded. “Let’s do it.”
Halfway through the party a majority of the people there ended up passing out on some of the chairs or couches Ace had gotten for the event. Jack was a bit tipsy himself he laid on the couch with a drunken Urban laying next to him, you couldn’t find your phone at all so you needed to use Jack’s.
The music was still going though considering a good majority of people were still dancing and eating.
“Jack, let me see your phone I need to call my phone.” You rushed him he took his phone out his pocket and handed it to you. “Here babe you know the password yeah?” He asked.
“Yeah I know it I’ll be right back.” He nodded and you stepped off to the side and unlocked his phone you went to press the call button next to your contact when you noticed Jack had about 25 missed texts and 3 missed calls.
You looked behind you making sure he was still on the couch before clicking onto the messages.
“What the hell.” You frowned seeing all the messages were from Mia, all of them saying how she misses him and wonders when he’s leaving the party soon.
“So he wasn’t with Nemo.” You mumbled to yourself you looked back over at Jack who was now dozing off on the couch you shook your head and bit your bottom lip to stop it from trembling, you looked back down at the phone when it buzzed again.
Mia 💘
‘Did you tell her you’re breaking up with her yet? She needs to know the truth’
You knew texting her back and making her believe that you were Jack was wrong but you needed to know what truth she was talking about.
Jack 🩵
‘What do I even say’
Your heart started beating when you saw the three little dots appearing on the screen but then they disappeared again.
“Fuck I knew she wasn’t gon-.” You stopped talking mid sentence when she texted back.
Mia 💘
‘Just tell her straight up that I’m pregnant and that you’re leaving her to raise a family with me obviously, your kid needs you Jack.’
You knew it even though you knew that he was cheating on you with her it still hurt it hurt even more that she was having a baby with a man you once loved, with the man you swore you were going to spend forever with, with the man who told you that she wasn’t anybody to worry about but turns out she was somebody to worry about.
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neoarchipelago · 1 year
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hey! I know I know I’m sorry for coming back again but I’ve been thinking again lol about “and they were roommates” (vine reference? If so I love you for this lol) especially the last chapter it was so so so good so apparently Simon was a little possessive after Peter showed up so that got me thinking, does Simon thinks he’s competition? If so personally I think that Simon would start trying to do absolutely everything for us, exemple? We’re going back home and Simon and the boys are beside us why let her unlock and open the door for herself? So Simon does it for her, did we just finished drinking our smoothie? There’s no chance we’re getting up to put it in the dishwasher how do we even dare to think that? Oh did we mention to Simon at some point that we love this brand of chocolate very suspicious that there’s a basket full of different types of chocolate from said brand and so on he’s just trying to prove to us that we don’t need no one eles to help and by no one else he means Peter bc does Peter heard you say to Soap that you’re craving french fries and went at 2am to the McDonald’s drive through to get them plus other things you may like and just entered into your room waked you up softly and was like “I got your fries and other things why don’t you eat it while it’s still warm hum?” Right he didn’t just like Simon thought so same with training at the base after meeting Peter Simon wants you at the base all the time even if that means that you’ll have to work from there and at first it’s the “there’s a hacker targeting you I’m just making sure you’re safe and you’re damn safe by my side” which kind of makes sense but after a while it is very clear that Simon is just jealous so jealous that he doesn’t care about the boys joking that it’s “bring your lover to work” day Simon just doesn’t want you near Peter is he as strong and tall as Simon? How about funny? Is he as funny as Simon? Right he isn’t so why not be by his side since Simon is such a good and protective company? Really we should be happy that he enjoys our company that much 🙄 wow that was long but I’ve just been thinking about that also I’m loving this so much, you’re a damn good writer ❤️
you are the best you know that? you have such good ideas!
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Day 99
Title: “It's Late”
Features: SiDong (Dream Catcher)
Word Count: 858
Description: Handong gets carried away during a late night conversation.
Tags: Domestic Fluff | College AU | Dialogue Focus
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Handong sighs after recalling a story from her childhood memory. At this point, she is a little self-conscious about how vulnerable she’s being with Siyeon, but she won’t deny that she enjoys the elder’s company. She only hopes that Siyeon feels the same. 
To ease her anxieties, she looks out the window. The pitch blackness and lack of activity tells Dongie that they’re deep into the night. Once it passes 2AM, her thoughts tend to run wild. The notion seems to extend when she’s talking to people she’s comfortable around. Although she’s still insecure with her Korean abilities, Siyeon has always been a good listener. Besides, Siyeon was the one who asked a question and the exchange student wanted to give a thorough explanation.
Wait a second. Shoot. 
Is it past 2AM? 
Dongie reaches for her phone on her nightstand. She checks the time. 
3:39 AM. 
Her jaw drops. “Oh, my god.” 
Siyeon raises an eyebrow. “What’s wrong? Did you forget you had a deadline or something?”
Handong shoves the phone on her laptop camera. There’s glare, so Siyeon doesn’t quite catch what she’s supposed to see. “It’s almost 4AM! That means it's almost 5AM for you!”
The older woman checks the time. 4:40 AM. She doesn't know where 5 hours went, but tries to act nonchalant. “It seems so.” Admittedly, she’s a little tired, so she can’t think of another response. Even if it was past her bedtime, she felt energized by her girlfriend’s discussion. It’s not everyday she gets to hear Dongie talk so much.
“How are you awake right now? Don’t you normally sleep at like 10PM? I know it’s a Friday, but you told me that you sleep early!
“Geez! I’m sorry for running my mouth. I’m sorry for losing track of time! It’s just that one story led to another and I got carried away and, fuck, did you even get to eat your dinner?”
With the way Handong was acting, Siyeon felt guilty for their prolonged conversation. There were admittedly a few spots Siyeon could’ve stopped her, but something about Dongie’s elevated tone and unusually quick-paced speech convinced herself to just keep listening. Nonetheless, it’s not the problem Hadong thinks it is, so Siyeon just laughs at her girlfriend’s antics 
“Goodness gracious, it’s 4:40 AM. I don’t even stay up this late. I’m so sorry.” She lets out a sound that was between a groan and a whine.
Siyeon cuts her offer with a chuckle. She wonders if Handong knows that, in her delirious state of mind, everything she says is giving her butterflies. Maybe they should go to sleep soon because the rush of emotions is working more effectively than caffeine and they really should get some rest. “Don’t be silly. You don't need to apologize. I wanted to stay up with you.”
"Okay." Dongie suddenly becomes docile again. The sudden shift makes Siyeon let out another healthy laugh. Handong’s mind isn’t that clear, but the melodious sound gives her a sense of assurance that the Korean student likes her as much as she does. Emotions are still running high, but she’ll sleep easy with that assurance in her consciousness. 
Siyeon sighs before staring directly at the camera. There’s a sense of longing because she’d rather be physically with her girlfriend, but she reminds herself that the they'll be graduating soon and the distance between them will soon close. “Hey, I really had a good time tonight. I love listening to your stories.”
The comment isn’t laced with sugar, but it still makes something flutter in Dongie’s stomach. All she can do is hug one of her plushies and hide behind it. Siyeon wants to affectionately laugh again, but knows that it will only further embarrass her girlfriend. 
This time, Dongie sighs, attempting to look chic. Siyeon commends her attempt, but falls in love with her smile. “Alright. Let’s not prolong this call anymore. We should go to sleep.”
Even though her girlfriend is correct, Siyeon doesn’t want to hang up. She wants to talk until sunset. If only, she could forget about laundry plans or the study session she’s supposed to have with Jiyeon.
"I miss you," she blurts out.
There's a hint of sadness in Dongie's eyes. They both try not to say such emotional statements, knowing how difficult it is to process them alone, but Siyeon can't help it.
Dongie stays strong. “Okay. I’m hanging up now.” She makes a face towards the camera.
Siyeon wants to roll her eyes, but can’t even respond to the cute expression. Exhaustion seems to hit her like a truck. “Okay then. Goodnight, Dongie.”
“Goodnight, Singie~” The smile she gives before hanging up imprints in Siyeon’s brain. "I love you." She hangs up without giving Siyeon a chance to reciprocate the affection.
Siyeon gawks at her phone screen. Those three syllables rarely pass Dongie's lips. Her girlfriend definitely said it to retaliate her words of affirmation, but they definitely leave a huge impact. She thinks about responding to her via text, but decides that she needs to ride the emotional high and rolls out of bed to clean up.
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My Knight Rider Headcannons: Michael and Garthe Edition
Warning: Kinda spicy, nothing explicit. Except for the occasional cursing. Mentions of violence and knives.
Michael and Garthe do look exactly alike, the only differences being facial hair and eye colour. I think Michael has grey-ish sky blue eyes and Garthe has light jade colour eyes.
I also think Michaels hair is slightly blonder
Garthe is like an inch taller than Michael and likes to tease Michael about it
Michael just wears heeled boots in retaliation
Michael and Garthe have very different vibes.
Garthe has like a dominant extremely masculine vibe. There’s always this vibe of ‘I don’t know if he’s gonna fuck me or murder me so write me off as scared AND horny’
Garthe is usually in control, but occasionally he goes like full unhinged. He gets violent and doesn’t have a regard for his surroundings. Occasionally laughs maniacally. ‘unfortunately im displaying behaviours. and acting in ways’
Michael has a suave switch energy. He’ll pin you to the wall one minute and then let you manhandle him the next. He’s a chaos gremlin and dumb as fuck. Has a death wish. Probably a pyromaniac.
Michael can get unhinged too, but in a different way. He’s the type to hold a knife to somebody’s throat and interrogate them, blackmails, and steals. Tries to guilt trip people into doing the right thing first. ‘I’m a nice person but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people’
I think Garthe is a scientist. He specializes in computers, coding, chemistry and physics. He tried to reprogram all the computers in FLAG headquarters one time and accidentally made an AI. Suffice to say KARR was not happy being put in a Pontiac.
We all know Michael was a cop before. I think he worked for a while as a homicide detective and almost got killed. He then became an undercover cop. Master of disguise and lying. He is a trained weapons expert but after being shot in the head never touched a gun again.
Garthe is good at reading people when it comes to business, but Michael is the true analyst.
Michael has a hobby for forensics which helps with his job at FLAG, and can tell when people are lying most of the time.
Garthe loves rings and small earrings and Michael prefers necklaces and unconventional jewelry like hip chains and jacket accessories.
Both are slutty but in different ways. Michael likes see through shirts and tight jeans and turtlenecks. Leather jackets are of course mandatory.
Garthe just unbuttons his shirt too far. He rolls up the sleeves past the elbows. The outfit is always coordinated and spotless.
The only way I can really describe it is Michael is feral slutty and Garthe is gentleman slutty.
Michael adhd and trans because I an adhd trans person said so.
Garthe just full of ptsd. Daddy issues to the max.
They both have he/they energy
They’re both bisexual too
Sorry if it doesn’t make much sense it was 2am when I made this and I was rushing to get this all out before I forgot about it.
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prof-cypress · 2 years
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Hello Professor! Sorry that I haven’t been around for a while, Nami and I have been working to figure out what flavors and berries the Shinx like!
Cordelia has taken a liking to Pomeg berries, or maybe just bitter things in general! She’s.. clearly not a fan of sour things though, seeing as she threw up some berries we tried to give her… right on the carpet.. it was my fault for trying things out there though… I made sure to try the rest somewhere else at least
Helios has a huge sweet tooth! He really likes Mago berries apparently, seeing as he kept looking for more after we gave him some (I fell for his trap.. he’s too cute! He had a belly full of them that night). But, like his older sister, he doesn’t like sour things. At least he didn’t throw up!  That’s a low bar but when you’re writing things down at 2AM you tend to lose all common sense. anyways
Next up we’ve got Hoku, who does like sour things, unlike his older siblings! He didn’t even bother with bitter berries though. One sniff and he just pushed it away. Saved us some trouble though, so I’m not complaining. He doesn’t have much of a preference for berries, he just wants sour things to be honest.
Now we’re at Nyx, who likes bitter things! Not a big fan of spicy things though. Just like Hoku, she took one sniff and pushed it away! Though I don’t blame her, I don’t like spicy things either… We think she likes Aguav berries, but we’re not very sure. Maybe she likes the taste and not the texture?
Zane on the other hand loves spicy foods, and ate the berries that Nyx didn’t want to try. He has a clear favoritism towards Pinap berries, and he liked them so much that he bit Nami when she tried to put them away! He dislikes bitter foods, seeing as he spit a Rawst berry right into my lap… I just bought those pants
Topaz really likes dry foods, so maybe it’s partially about the texture for her? We’re not very sure about that. And she doesn’t like sweet foods, which is a bit funny with how much of a little sweetheart she is! Lately, I’ve woken up a few times with Topaz nibbling on a Chesto Berry under the blankets. It’s cute, but I’m trying to get her to stop, seeing as it makes my bed a mess
And Kokomi just. Doesn’t seem to have a preference at all with her food, as long as she gets fed she’s happy. She does like cereal though? If that counts at least-
-Sincerely, Allia
This is all great!
I'm glad you're finding out more about these lil guys.
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28-11s · 1 year
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please don’t ever, EVER, delete any of your entries on padlet, especially the raw ones, and don’t ever apologise for opening up to me, even if you think it might overwhelm me. because it doesn’t, nothing about you trusting me is overwhelming, it’s beautiful and you know i absolutely love it. plus, me going through a hard patch doesn’t mean i don’t have it in me to be there for you too. i’m a big boy, i can handle this and more. ♡ i guess i finally understand why i kept on tossing and turning around at 1am last night, and i had a hunch it was related to you, but i simply assumed you were dreaming about me. i don’t know why i thought of london as a quiet city, despite knowing it is a metropolis, but i think i can understand why that worsened your meltdown. i am not a fan of crowded places, loud noises, or bright lights; even going to the mall on a slow day makes my head spin, and i have to hold onto whoever i’m with to ground myself a little. i haven’t told anyone this, but on new year’s eve i went on a trip (last-minute trip, literally decided 3 days prior, and as a person who panics when there are no concrete plans, i was already feeling iffy about it) and i got so overwhelmed i had two meltdowns in public, and then a final one at 2am, which literally knocked me out for 12 hours straight. it was really embarrassing for me, and not how i had intended to begin the year. i couldn’t really rely on anyone, and the only thing that assisted me a little to get through it were your playlists. i’m actually not too sure why i just shared that with you, i guess i wanted to give an actual example of Why i understand you. and also to link it to the rest of your message. i don’t use the blog as much as i would like to, mostly because i am allergic to opening up, which makes me pretty weak, in my opinion. it is something that i have been anting to change, because writing to you Does make me feel better, but i am so obsessed with the idea of appearing strong and independent in the eyes of the world, that i just set myself up for failure. writing about my feelings means acknowledging them, and acknowledging means having to face them, which is not something i am too fond of, as a pretty much delusional person. but what gives me strength is still You. your playlists, our conversations, padlet… they are all sources of strength for me. i am not good at seeking support, but i still find it in the small things that have to do with you. i downloaded the video you made me for our anniversary on all of my devices, so i always have it with me if needed. i too backread the sddd server to laugh, because we act in such a shockingly different manner there than we do in private. the realisation that i am Truly attached to you dawned on me some time ago, and it is almost terrifying. but i think this is part of being in love, you know. i think this is one of the characteristics that set romantic love apart from platonic love, or maybe i am just delusional. maybe we just don’t have to give these emotions a sense at all. your message made complete sense, baby, and i am glad you shared all of this with me. it feels good to know we actually feel the same things. i’m sorry your trip isn’t going 100% well, and i’m sorry you’re hurting enough to cry for hours. but i hope today was a better day, and i hope you had lots of fun and saw lots of things and ate good food! i love you so much, thank you for trusting me once again.
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seijorhi · 3 years
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Choke.
another soulmate au nobody asked for :)
Akaashi Keiji x female reader x Bokuto Koutarou
TW dub-con, implied future non-con
It wasn’t a good day to begin with.
You’re late, rushing through the busy campus hallways to make it to an exam that quite frankly you’re at least 70% sure you’re going to fail, mostly because instead of cramming last night you’d been… otherwise occupied with your boyfriend.
And you really, really just want this whole thing to just be over with already.
With your nose stuck in your textbook, frantically pouring over your notes right up until the very last second, it’s hardly a surprise that you don’t see the two of them rushing down the hallway in the opposite direction until you’re quite literally colliding with the taller of the pair – the broad shouldered one.
Your notes go flying, the last of your coffee too and for one split second, you’re pretty positive that you’re gonna end up flat on your ass with a little more than some bruised pride. But just as you’re about to hit the ground, not one but two hands reach for you, catch you, and the very second they do, you feel it:
A flash of guilt and momentary alarm, embarrassment, you think, and chagrin, each emotion hitting you like a sledgehammer, overwhelming you, one after the other in a dizzying blur that’s distinctly other, and then–
Shock.
Dawning surprise. 
A rush of something warm, adoring, a happiness so bright and blinding that it makes you physically jerk backwards, almost slamming your head against the wall in the process. And two pairs of eyes – one a deep, luminous gold, the other a cool, gunmetal blue – stare at you in wide eyed wonder a split millisecond before you wrench yourself free, gasping. 
The moment their grip falters, the torrent stops. You can breathe.
Blessed silence, save for the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears. Everything fades out around you – the students and lecturers alike bustling through the busy hallway, the humming drone of chatter that’s nearly deafening. Nothing exists but the three of you; caught in your little bubble.
And it’s dread, you think, that seeps through your blood as you stare at them. 
They’re both handsome, albeit in their own ways. The taller of the two – the one who’d almost barrelled you over – looks like he could probably bench press you without breaking a sweat. His shirt isn’t exactly clinging to him, but you can see the hints of well defined muscles beneath, and the size of his biceps alone are enough to make your heart skip a beat and your mouth dry up a little. With rippling muscles, spiky black and silver hair, a strong jawline and those round, golden eyes, he looks like a modern day adonis. 
His friend might’ve been shorter, his build leaner, but with his softer features, pretty eyes and dark hair, you think he’s perhaps the prettiest man you’ve ever laid eyes on. From the fineness of his nose to the gentle curve of his lips and his long, dark sweeping eyelashes, he reminds you of those white marble statues you’ve seen before in museums and art galleries– a beauty so divine, so perfect – so devastating – that it steals your breath a little.
And they’re both watching you, frozen entirely. Smiling in breathless delight, as if they can’t quite believe it either.
Soulmates. 
You’ve spent your whole life wondering what it would be like, experiencing somebody else’s emotions. Studies have been done and countless books and articles written about the bond between soulmates; the intimacy of sharing emotions through touch, but nobody really knows why or how it happens.  
And for some, it’s a subtle thing. A suggestion, a whisper against their own consciousness, easily brushed aside. Others feel it stronger. 
For you, it was like drowning. Choking under the sudden, intense barrage of feelings that weren’t yours. Maybe it’s because there’s two of them – and that much at least you’re sure of. You don’t have the words to explain it, but they’d felt separate somehow, distinctive from one another – kind of like fingerprints, you suppose.
There’s no denying the bond, no denying that they’re both your soulmates, and all you can think of is that you don’t want it. Not here, not now. Not them.
The dark haired one seems to realise quicker than his friend that you’re not reacting how you’re supposed to, you’re just standing there, rigid and tense, gaping at them. And the slight smile that graced his perfect lips starts to waver, his brows drawing together when finally his friend cottons on.
He reaches for you, the beginnings of a pout taking shape on his face, and you move without even thinking, jerking out of reach with a sharp breath. His hand hangs outstretched for a beat too long, a noise like a kicked puppy leaving his lips as he realises that you’re flinching away from him; away from your soulmate. He looks heartbroken, and he’s yet to utter a single word. 
You don’t give him a chance. You’re not some cold, unfeeling beast; there’s a twinge in your heart, a heaviness that’s far too close to guilt settling in your stomach, but you just can’t. And with shaking hands you bend over and hastily grab up your things, forcing yourself not to meet their confused, hurt stares when you right yourself. 
“I– I’m sorry,” you murmur, and before either one of them can try to stop you, you disappear into the crowd, racing for your exam. 
The lights are on when you make it back home, the familiar, comforting scent of home cooked food filling your apartment.
“Hey, babe,” your boyfriend calls out as you wearily drop your purse by the door and kick out of your shoes. His back’s to you, attention fixed on the simmering saucepan on the stovetop, but he glances over his shoulder as he continues, “How’d your exam go?”
And you can’t help it, you burst into tears.
Painful, heaving sobs that might’ve had you collapsing onto the floor if he hadn’t swept across the room to snatch you up into his arms. “That bad, huh?” Kuguri jokes, but the words sound hollow.
“I found them,” you mutter into his chest, and the way he stiffens, his grip tightening for just a moment has your heart breaking all over again. 
Kuguri doesn’t say much as he leads you to the couch, he just lets you talk. It’s almost worse, you think, the way he doesn’t react. 
Because you both knew this was coming at some point. For months you’ve tried to convince yourself that you could feel him when you were together.
You felt his love when he held you, right?
Happy when he was happy?
But you’d known, both of you, that as much as you wished it otherwise, he wasn’t your soulmate, and you weren’t his. And whether it was today or six months down the line, this was always going to happen.
“You don’t have to…” you trail off, searching his eyes desperately for anything other than the gentle resignation lingering there. “I love you.”
He smiles at that, cups your cheek in his hand and brushes away the stray tear that spills. “I know you do, but–” it’s not enough. “They’re your soulmates. Don’t you think they deserve a chance to make you happy?”
He’s gone when you wake the next morning.
In a university of thousands, a sprawling city campus, you honestly believe that in spite of everything, you probably won’t see them again. They don’t know your name, or what you study, you don’t live in the dorms like some of the other students; the chances of just randomly bumping into them again are slim, soulmates or no.
Of course, there are facebook groups and pages set up to reconnect lost soulmates, but you’d have to actually want to find them to try something like that.
(Part of you wonders whether they’ve tried)
The universe has a sense of humour, it seems, because when your paths cross next, it’s not at uni, it’s at the little corner store a few blocks down from your apartment. 
At 2am in the morning. 
And you’re staring intently at the freezer, mentally weighing up exactly what kind of ice cream you need to sate your craving when you hear the sharp intake of breath behind you.
“Holy crap, you’re here.”
It’s stupid, you think, the way your stomach flutters when you turn to find him staring in wide eyed wonder; the taller one, with the spiky hair and those impossibly wide, honey eyes.
He’s smiling, his entire face lit up like a christmas tree at the sight of you. As if you hadn’t run off without so much as an acknowledgement the last time you’d met. As if seeing you here, looking like shit – makeup free and dressed in your old favourite sweats – is the absolute best thing that could have happened.
And when your cheeks grow hot, you’re not entirely sure if it’s embarrassment over the way you look, the fact that he’s caught you buying ice cream that you fully intend to let melt just a little bit before polishing off at two in the morning, or if it’s shame over how badly you’d reacted the last time you’d seen him.
But if he notices your inner turmoil, he doesn’t show it, grinning widely as he calls back over his shoulder, “Akaashi!”
You still haven’t uttered a peep, haven’t moved. Just like last time you’re caught feeling like a kid with their hand stuck in the cookie jar as your other soulmate rounds the corner, his attention fixed on the ingredients list of the rice cracker snacks in his hands, a basket full of groceries tucked into the crook of his elbow.
“Bokuto, I was just around the corner, there’s no need to shout.”
Pretty steel blue eyes flicker up for a split second, then quickly do a double take as he realises that it’s you – his errant soulmate, standing struck dumb, here of all places. “Oh.”
Oh. 
Akaashi eyes you for a moment, and you watch as his throat bobs unsteadily, but just as with Bokuto, he can’t seem to help the smile that creeps across his face. It’s softer than his friend’s, not so blinding but warm nonetheless. Genuine. There’s no animosity there, and it should put you at ease – they don’t seem to blame you, at least. 
It should, but it doesn’t. 
Even now, there’s a little voice in your head urging you to forget your late night cravings, turn tail and run. Nevermind that they’d likely just follow you, much less that you’d look like an absolute fucking idiot, fleeing from your soulmates who so far have done nothing wrong.
It’s not supposed to be this awkward, right? It’s not supposed to be difficult, but even when they’re smiling at you, there’s a tension that digs its claws into you and refuses to relent. Your heart thumps unevenly, like a scared little bunny caught in a trap and the wolves are circling.
If it’s normal, then your parents and every other soulmated pair you’ve ever met certainly kept it to themselves. Maybe it’s the guilt, you think. Maybe you’re just being overdramatic. They’re your soulmates, right? They probably just want to talk, to get to know you, and right now you’re the one being standoffish and rude. 
It occurs to you then that you still haven’t spoken, and they’re both staring at you somewhat expectantly. You really are fucking this up, aren’t you?
“H-hi,” you manage to muster, forcing yourself to smile back. Tiny and timidly, perhaps, but it’s a smile. 
It seems to work, because Bokuto positively beams at you and Akaashi sets down his basket to slide in closer, a pleased little hum escaping his throat. 
Aside from the faint sound of the radio playing in the background and the cashier casually flicking through a magazine up at the register, the store is quiet. It’s just the three of you, except this time there really is no running off and disappearing into the crowd. Which is fine, you need to face them sooner or later, right?
Give them a chance?
Otherwise everything else, all that heartbreak and the lonely nights since will have been all for nothing. So you swallow tightly, take a soft, steadying breath, and press on.
“I, um… I’m sorry about last time. You know with… everything,” you finish lamely, mentally cringing at the sheer awkwardness of it. “I had an exam.”
But again, your soulmates don’t seem to take it personally, the darker haired one (Akaashi, your brain helpfully supplies) nodding slightly. 
“It’s okay. You’re here now.” He has a nice voice, calming and smooth, and though the words seem to carry a different weight you find yourself nodding along with him. You can do this, you can make an effort.
This is fine.
You swallow again, tongue darting out to wet your lips, “I’m Y/N,” you introduce, clutching just a little bit tighter at the handles of your own shopping basket.
You don’t extend a hand, nor try to go in for a hug, but standing there rigidly feels wrong too. They’re strangers, yes, but they’re also not, and you don’t quite know how to act around somebody like that, somebody you’re supposedly fated for but know nothing about. All you know is that the last time they touched you, it was too much. It hurt. And even as you catch sight of the slightly disheartened expression on Bokuto’s face, you’re hesitant to put yourself through it again.
“It’s pretty,” Akaashi compliments, and there’s a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks as he says it. “Suits you.”
Your own probably aren’t much better, with the blood that rushes to your face. You drop your gaze a little, nibbling on your bottom lip, “O-oh, uh… thank you.”
When you glance back up to Bokuto, you find him staring at you again, not with the same hurt expression as before, but something akin to wonder. He seems speechless, in awe of your flustered state, and you wonder how he can bounce that quickly from emotion to emotion without giving himself whiplash. But it seems like your attention is just the thing he needs to pull himself out of it, because he closes his gaping mouth and grins again.
“Y/N,” he repeats, like he’s testing it out, rolling your name over his tongue. “You probably heard, but I’m Bokuto– you can call me Koutarou, though.” 
There’s a beat of silence, and he’s quick to add, “And that’s Akaashi.”
“Keiji,” Akaashi corrects, shooting you another gentle smile. 
First names. It makes sense, you suppose, but the familiarity of it all still doesn’t sit quite right with you. But now that introductions are out of the way, you don't have a clue what you’re supposed to say now - ‘so, soulmates; crazy, huh?’ doesn’t exactly feel appropriate, given the circumstances.
You’re distinctly aware that it’s the middle of the night and you’re at a convenience store and while this might not be the worst time to run into your soulmates again, it’s not far off. 
Maybe that’s not a bad thing, though, because at least it kind of gives you an out. Shifting your weight from one foot to another, you clear your throat, “I hope you guys don’t think I’m being rude or anything, but it is kinda late…” you trail off, hoping they’ll pick up what you’re putting down.
And while Bokuto’s brow furrows, Akaashi at least has the decency to look a little abashed. “Yeah, no, of course. We’re just so… we’re glad we ran into you again.”
 Your cheeks heat again, and to save yourself from having to meet their gazes head on, you quickly spin around, open the freezer door and grab the first pint ice cream that you see. “I just came for this,” you laugh, fighting back a wince at how hollow and fake it all sounds. 
“Here,” Bokuto says, and before you can react he’s snatching it from your grip (thankfully keeping his hand from brushing against yours) and places it atop the basket in Akaashi’s arms. “Our treat.”
He beams at you, and you’re honestly too stunned to reply. You don’t really want him paying for it, but if it gets you out of this awkward encounter any quicker, you’ll swallow down your protests and let it go. 
And so you trail meekly after the two of them as they head to the cashier, and when Akaashi passes you the bag you’re so careful to avoid his touch, a fact he notes with the slightest of frowns, but he doesn’t comment on it. 
“It’s late,” he says instead as the three of you exit into the brisk night air. And then those gunmetal eyes are on you, studying you for a moment. You realise what he’s about to say the moment he opens his mouth again, “Can we walk you home? Or to the bus stop at least?”
Your stomach lurches at the thought of it, of two veritable strangers knowing where you live, but–
He’s not wrong, exactly. It is late, and in hindsight it was probably stupid for you to have come out at this time of the night alone in the first place, whether it was a safe neighbourhood or not. And they’re not strangers, they’re your soulmates.
You have to try. 
So you nod. ‘It’s just down the road,” you murmur, but as the two of them fall into step either side of you, sharing a distinctly satisfied look between themselves, you think that it wouldn’t have mattered how far it was. They would have walked with you anywhere.
Yet their expressions of mild surprise (disappointment, maybe?) when you stop them less than five minutes later in front of your apartment block almost makes you laugh. “This is me.”
Bokuto eyes the building for just a moment before his attention returns to you. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
Lie, that little voice inside your head urges, but you force yourself to ignore it. You have to try. “Uh, not much, I guess…”
Even as you say the words, your hands tighten on your bag, twisting nervously – a sign they either don’t read or wilfully ignore as Bokuto brightens up once again.
“Awesome! Wanna swing by ours to chill for a little bit?”
Like a date, you think as your gaze flickers between the two. Yet Akaashi’s watching you just as intently, those dark eyes far more inscrutable than Bokuto’s, which doesn’t help ease the uncomfortable feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach. There’s really no reason for you to say no, no polite way for you to turn them down. They’re your soulmates, you’re supposed to want this. “Um…”
“Or we can come here, if you want? Or head into the city and do something there, maybe go see a movie or something? Whatever you’d prefer.”
“No!” the words slip from your tongue before you can stop them, the idea of the two of them in your apartment, your home just feels like… too much. “No,” you repeat again, quieter, forcing your features to soften into a hesitant smile. “Your place is good.”
That way you can leave if it all gets to be too much. It’s just a casual hang out. It’ll be fine. 
Both of them seem to relax at your agreement, and you quickly take out your phone to grab Akaashi’s number – sending him a message so he has your number too.
“Perfect,” he says, his voice a purr that sends a ripple of something running down your spine. “I’ll text you the address in the morning.”
You smile at both of them, thanking them again for the ice cream and for walking back with you, even if it was only a few hundred metres. And you think you’re in the clear as you start walking up the steps, trying to balance your keys, your phone and your bags when the sound of your name being called makes you turn around.
Bokuto’s there, a step behind you, and before you can even so much as blink he’s grabbing at your hand, tugging you forward and kissing you.
Just like last time, it’s instantaneous and overwhelming. You feel it all – his giddy excitement, the stirrings of something deeper, less innocent as he cradles your body to his.
And the love. 
Oh god. It’s not mere affection, not some fleeting, superficial thing. It pours over you in unrelenting waves, crushing you under the force of it – you can’t even feel his tongue moving against yours, or the way he sucks on your bottom lip, groaning quietly.
You can’t breathe, can’t think. It’s too much, too much, too strong, too sudden, you can’t BREATHE.
Your trembling hands finds his shoulders, and as your head spins, nausea churning in your gut you don’t waste a second, shoving him away from you with enough force that he actually stumbles back a little.
Though you’ll admit it’s probably more from shock than any strength you actually possess. 
And you don’t dare look to Akaashi as tears fill your eyes, a heaving gasp leaving your lips. Bokuto’s eyes are wide, his mouth agape; he looks confused more than horrified as you stumble back, almost tripping over the last step.
“D-don’t touch me,” you gasp, “please.”
There’s pain in his eyes as your tears well up and spill over and you choke back another sob, but you don’t give him a chance to say anything else. Limbs trembling, you force yourself upright, clutching at the keys in your fist as you skitter towards the door.
You hear one of them, Akaashi you think, calling out your name, but you don’t pause, don’t look back – throwing open the lobby door and slamming it shut behind you. 
And your heart pounds as you climb the steps two at a time, and it’s only once you're in the safety of your own apartment, with the door shut and firmly locked that you allow yourself to breathe. You realise distantly that at some point – probably on the steps outside – you dropped the ice cream they’d bought for you, but you can’t find it within yourself to care. The first time you realise was an accident, they had no way of knowing you were their soulmate, much less how you’d react when they’d touched you. But that–
That wasn’t right.
It wasn’t normal.
Those feelings, that love, you’ve never experienced anything like it, and yet it’s left you feeling filthy; tainted. Scared. It was too much; boundless and abundant, the kind of love that devours and chokes, selfishly strangling everything in its environment to thrive. Overpowering and solely directed at you. How was it supposed to do anything but terrify you. And how can he possibly believe that he loves you like that already?
Soulmates or not, you don’t know him!
This– this whole thing is wrong.
You can’t stop yourself from checking the locks on your apartment another three times before you slip under the covers of your bed, trying to will sleep to find you.
On the nightstand beside you, your phone vibrates, but you refuse to check it, knowing full well that it’s them.
It doesn’t stop.
And with every new notification your blood pressure climbs, and there’s a part of you that’s telling you you have no reason to be reacting like this – whatever happened on those steps, it’s not like they’re going to hurt you.
It was an accident, a misunderstanding.
But they’re still blowing your phone up with notifications and they know where you live and no matter what you tell yourself, you can’t seem to quell the disquiet that eats away at you.
And it’s a cruel thing to do, you know it is, but you don’t know what else to do as you finally give in, swiping your phone up and searching for his contact. The phone rings once, twice, three times and there’s a sinking feeling in your chest when you realise he’s not going to pick up–
“Hello?” Kuguri’s voice is groggy, heavy with sleep and you can almost picture him, sitting up in bed, wiping the sleep from his eyes, running a hand through his messy bed hair. “Fuck, do you know what time it is, Y/N? Why’re you calling me so late?”
There’s a pause, pregnant and heavy, and the only sound that leaves you is the soft hitch in your breath.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, quieter this time, an edge of worry in his tone.
You haven’t spoken to him in weeks, since he’d left without a word and broke your heart, but he’s the only one you want to talk to right now.  
“I-I’m sorry for calling,” you begin, sniffling back your tears. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
When you drag yourself out of bed only a few short hours later, your body’s still crying out for a little more sleep, but you can’t afford to indulge.
Like you’d planned, you send the message first thing, ignoring the flood of unread texts above – both from Akaashi and an unknown number you can only assume is Bokuto’s.
I’m sorry about last night, just need some space. 
You have nothing to be sorry for – even if it wasn’t for the frankly unsettling emotions you’d felt, Bokuto’d still kissed you without your permission. But Kuguri said it was better that way – they were less likely to freak out and panic or whatever. You hadn’t questioned it too much, it didn’t really matter what you said so long as they knew you didn’t want them anywhere near you… at least until you figured this whole thing out. And you trusted Kuguri on this.
God knows why he’d even answered your call in the first place, but you’re impossibly glad that he did. Gladder still that he hadn’t hung up on you the moment he’d realised why you were calling.
You scoff down a quick breakfast, before hopping into the shower. The scalding water’s a welcome relief, waking you up more than your coffee had and allowing you the space to think.
Kuguri’s got errands to run this morning, but he’d said you were welcome to stop by his place anytime. He’d insisted on it actually, telling you in no uncertain terms to pack an overnight bag.
‘Look, I’m probably being an overprotective asshole, alright, but I don’t want you there by yourself, so either you come here or I’m coming over there.’
And the thought that you’d need somebody there to protect you, that either one of your soulmates would do anything–
But it’s not so much about them, you think, but you. You’d been a mess when you’d called him, and despite how everything had gone down, Kuguri still cared about you – you can’t just turn those feelings off overnight – is it any wonder that you’d worried him?
Distantly, you register your phone going off a few more times as you busy yourself in washing your hair. You assume it’s Kuguri checking up on you, making sure that you’re alright – you pay it no mind, humming quietly as you reach for your conditioner.
And by the time you slip from your bathroom, wrapped in a big, fluffy towel it’s probably closer to mid-morning than you’d like. You don’t bother blow drying your hair or putting on makeup, instead heading to your room to get dressed and grab some clothes to take to Kuguri’s.
Except there’s a knocking at the door that stops you in your tracks.
You hadn’t heard the buzzer for the building’s main door go off, which meant that it was probably just your landlord stopping by, or one of your neighbours. You know the little girl who lives in the apartment next to yours likes to bake with her dad and sometimes drops off freshly made cookies and treats, so you hastily throw on enough clothes to pass as decent. 
“Coming,” you sing out, racing across the room to reach the door. 
Except when you throw it open, it’s not one of your neighbours standing out in your hallway, nor is it your elderly landlord. 
Akaashi and Bokuto crowd the empty space; Bokuto grinning widely, Akaashi’s dark eyes fixed on yours. 
“You weren’t answering your phone,” he murmurs, a faint frown tugging at his features as studies your face. “We were worried about you.”
And there’s so many things wrong with the fact that they’re here; least of all being how the hell they got into the building to begin with, but you can’t afford to think of any of that. You simply need to get them out of here without causing a fuss. Now.
They’re still your soulmates, you remind yourself as your heart rate picks up. They won’t do anything to hurt you. 
“I-I told you I needed space, please go,” you mutter, clutching so tightly at the edge of the door that your knuckles turn white. “Please,” you beg again when neither of them make a move to leave.
“I told you, ‘Kaashi,” Bokuto says, his smile slipping in favour of a wounded pout, “She’s afraid of us. Her soulmates.”
And you don’t know what compels you to shake your head instead of just slamming the door in their faces, “N-no, I just–”
“She’s just skittish,” Akaashi interrupts, cutting you off mid-sentence. “Overwhelmed – this is all new to her. It’s okay, princess,” he says, addressing you this time with a teasing little smirk, “We’ll be gentle, okay? We’re going to take good care of you.”
It’s the final blow to your tentative politeness. As panic sinks its teeth into you, you skitter backwards, scrambling to shut the front door before they can get in–
Bokuto’s faster. They both are.
Stronger, too. 
1K notes · View notes
2jaeh · 3 years
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ORPHIC : YUTA X READER
genre: smut, angst
warnings: mature themes, enemies to lovers kinda, kinda toxic theme, multiple smut scenes, swearing, alcohol, toys. 
slight jenoxreader 
word count : 17,5k (sorrry he’s my ult)
author: sin! 
You and Yuta never had a good relationship within your group of friends. The closest the two of you ever came to even slightly caring about each other was...in bed. After some friendly advice you decide to venture out of this toxicity and an old friend comes to the rescue. Thinking things will finally settle and you are ready to move on, Yuta comes to the realization that he wasn't a fan of you leaving him for someone else. 
A/N: WHOA this took me so long to write and rn its 2am and I barely proofread anything and just wanted to post it already! ALSO I just wanted to add Jeno is practically my ult as well and I wanted to use him for this scenario ! I promise Ill make it up to you guys with a full length fic of him lol Anyways enjoy. 
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You couldn’t understand why you hated him so much. Was it the way he did his hair ? The way he rolled his eyes at every snarky remark you directed at him ?
Or was it the way he stared at you from across the room, a smirk on his face signaling that it was going to be one of those nights.
You joined this collective of artists or the “blank space” as you were known to the public, a year ago. The team did everything from clothing to organizing crazy exhibitions, and the best part of it all was that the team members remained anonymous.
Now some of the members were already in the spotlight for their personal artworks and collections but anything under blank space was under that name only, promoted only under its respective social media accounts. The collective was founded by Taeyong, an introverted guy you met at a fashion show you once worked at. He approached you the night your art hit the runway and you’ve been working for him ever since.
You didn’t know everybody under Blank Space except for the people Taeyong trusted the most. Which from possibly 50 designers, only reduced to a total of nine close friends.
Taeyong, Johnny, Ten, Renjun, YangYang, Doyoung, Sungchan, Lucas and You.
And then, there was one person you called a friend when the mood was right. When he was not being an absolute pain in the ass.
Yuta Nakamoto.
————————————————————————
“So there’s a launch happening this weekend over at the shed” Taeyong announced to your friend group who were barely paying attention thanks to Yangyang attempting to stuff four marshmallows into his mouth. “Come on you can do one more” Lucas edged him on while Renjun shook his head disapprovingly and Sungchan tried to suppress his laughter.
“Guys please pay attention” Doyoung, the only type of authority around here spoke up, finally quieting down the room and allowing his best friend to speak.
Taeyong cleared his throat and shifted nervously as all eyes were focused on him again. “I’d like all of us to attend, maybe look for a new recruit” the timid pink haired boy spoke and everyone nodded knowing the routine of these launches at this point.
“Can we party hard or is this just one of those save face kinda gigs ?” Yuta raised his hand and the spark in Lucas’s eyes indicated that he may have had the same idea.
You rolled your eyes and crossed your leg over the other, “Yuta’s having a dry spell he wants to find some damsel in distress to get into his bed” you turned to him and he only smirked at your snarky comment.
“Well now y/n it’s only because you haven’t been in the mood for my dick lately” he pouted and Renjun threw his head back, followed by groans from both Johnny and Ten.
“I’m not in the mood for the two of you today seriously” Ten chimed in, rubbing his temples just waiting for this group meeting to be over. “Yeah me too” Johnny added, “you two fight the entire week then hook up over the weekend, we are tired.”
“Why are you guys tired ? Are you doing the fighting and fucking ?” Yuta scoffed and Doyoung jumped to his feet, folding his arms across his chest as he looked down at the scowling black haired man,
“This is a work meeting. If it's not about work” Doyoung eyes moved to you, “then we don’t want to hear about it.”
You nodded after getting reprimanded but Yuta being Yuta just snickered and downed the rest of his coffee, unbothered by what any of the people in the room had to say about him.
“Okay then well I’ll see you guys Friday night, if you find a possible recruitment just text the group chat and we will decide as a team then and there” Taeyong wrapped up the meeting and everyone dispersed back to their work stations to finish up any outstanding projects.
Blank Space had its own office block but you guys were the only ones with a private floor at the very end of the hallway, far away from the part-timers.
Everyone had their own cubicle made up of makeshift drywall, so it was private but not private enough. Taeyong felt that closed offices made no sense for a room of creatives and when working on bigger projects it was easier for members to move their stations to their partners' cubicles.
Your cubicle though had the unfortunate fate of being placed in front of Yuta. The members had tried to swap with either of you but neither of you budged. Moving meant there was a problem and showing that you had an actual problem with the other person meant it could sabotage the team and things may go sour.
So both of you conceded. Trying your absolute best to stay out of the other person's way during work hours. But it was impossible when bickering was just something you guys did.
From the very beginning You and Yuta had disagreed on almost everything. Both of you were pretty stubborn people and had a very similar mindset. Then on a random drunken night Johnny suggested that you and Yuta needed to release your anger in bed and the next day you’d be best friends. Yuta was pretty adamant on the idea and not only did you hook up once, it became this ongoing hell of fighting, building up your anger and releasing it during mind blowing sex.
Neither of you questioned the abnormality of your relationship. Rather, you ignored the red flags and the toxicity of it all and just assumed attraction only happened through liquor, high sexual needs and boredom.
“Hey y/n sorry about snapping like that earlier” Doyoung stepped into your cubicle, his gummy smile showing as he nervously scratched his head.  “It’s no problem, I’m sorry about my stupid comment” you pressed your lips together feeling a tad guilty that it all started because of you.
“You guys really love riling each other up don’t you?” Doyoung took a seat opposite you which was a bit unnatural for anyone who walked by. Doyoung was a very reserved person and never bothered to converse with any of you besides Taeyong. Unlike the rest of you Doyoung was recruited to handle finances and foresee the operation. He appreciated the arts but never delved in it, hence his awkwardness with the openness and unhinged personalities of the group.
“I get that it can be...exhausting” you sighed, propping your elbows up on the counter and pouting.
“Then why do you continue ?” Doyoung quizzed and you shrugged, “stress relief ?”
Doyoung chuckled at your words and pushed his spectacles up his bridge, “you guys are the ones stressing each other out,” Doyoung turned back to look at Yuta who was busy sketching and turned back to face you,
“All I’m saying is that maybe it’s time to look for a stress reliever that doesn’t result in anger the very next day, you guys need to move on.”
Move on.
Doyoung’s words swam in your mind hours after the short conversation had ended and you wondered if it was indeed time to move on. You looked up from your desk and to your surprise Yuta’s eyes were locked with yours as he twirled a lollipop in his mouth.
The issue was, as much as you hated him you couldn’t deny he was so goddamn hot. From the long hair to the edgy attire, physically he was your type. Personality on the other hand, it was like nails against a chalkboard.
Unbearable.
You kept your eyes locked with him until he slowly pulled the sweet out of his mouth, licked his lips and blew you a cheeky kiss from across the room.
“Moron” you mumbled and shook your head trying to ignore his devilish motives and get back to work.
Doyoung was right. You definitely needed to find someone to distract yourself from Yuta’s hold over you.
———————————————————————-
It was the night of the launch and everybody showed up with their own rides and  began mingling with former clients and partners. You arrived with Ten and Lucas who already decided to pre-game drinks just in case ‘there wasn’t enough at the party.’
“Hey please do us a favor and not hook up with Yuta tonight” Ten wrapped his arm around your shoulder as the two of you maneuvered through the groups of people. “Not planning on it” you replied in his ear, “and besides Doyoung already beat you to that pep talk.”
“Doyoung ?” Ten wrinkled his nose before ordering the two of you a mojito from the open bar.
“Yeah he said that I should move on, possibly find a new hookup” you shrugged, retrieving the drink and headed to a balcony that overlooked the first floor of the launch party. There were bodies of people everywhere, networking, checking out merchandise or just getting plain wasted.
“Seems like Lucas has already been cut off from the open bar” Ten pointed out, watching the tall man try to push his way back to the bar but the bouncer refused him to do so.
“Let me go help him out, I'll catch up later” Ten sighed and gave you a pat on your shoulder, “and yeah find a new hookup, if Yuta gets to sleep around so can you.”
You watched Ten disappear into the crowd and twirled the glass in your hand wishing what he had said was that easy.
There were no rules about hooking up with other people or just any reinforcements in general when it came to you and Yuta. But you we’re well aware of his loose sex life. There were many times where Yuta ended up going home with some random person if he wasn’t in the mood to hook up with you. But You on the other hand, never bothered these days because you were either too busy or whoever you met just ended up boring you to death.
“Y/n ?” You heard someone say from behind you and to your surprise it was a face you hadn’t seen in years.
“Jeno ? Oh my God” you quickly gave the blonde boy a quick hug, taken back by how much he had filled out since high school.
Jeno used to help you out from time to time during proms and fashion shows, lending out his strength to build anything from sculptures to installation art in the city.
“I was wondering when I was going to bump into you at one of these shows” his bright smile turned his eyes into crescents as he joined you at the balustrade. The Jeno you knew in high school was a lanky shy kinda guy but the Jeno you saw now was confident, mature and outright gorgeous.
“I’m quite surprised seeing you here actually” you chuckled shyly, “I didn’t know you’d pursue anything in this field to be honest.”
“Wow” Jeno mouthed and cutely grinned, “hmm that kinda hurt considering I’m the one who made the centerpiece of this entire launch”
Your eyes widened as you looked down at the structure of colored sharpies bound together to create a giant rubix cube in the middle of the party. “Holy shit that’s awesome my boss would absolutely love you” you gasped, knowing Taeyong absolutely loved installation art especially at a large scale like this.
“Oh who’s your boss ? I’m actually a free agent right now” Jeno replied and you quickly remembered the reason you were even at the launch in the first place. “Wait! We’re looking for recruits right now, let me just tell the others about it” you said excitedly, handing Jeno your drink and pulled up the group chat on your phone.
A few minutes later everyone confirmed the meeting place of a private room located on the second floor, quiet enough for a quick interview and decision. The best part of this job was everyone was so connected that there was no need to go through the process of a full portfolio look and a million interviews, all you needed was a trusted ally within the group to vouch for you and you were already one foot in.
“Ten and Yangyang took Lucas home after he tried to challenge the bartender to an arm wrestling match” Johnny entered the room and sipped his whiskey while Renjun and Sungchan followed close behind him. Taeyong and Doyoung stood in front of the room discussing something amongst themselves while you and Jeno took a seat on the burgundy couch.
Yuta entered shortly after, drink in hand and you noticed his eyes narrow in on Jeno who sat close to you. “Okay everyone who’s able to make it is here let’s get started” Taeyong clasped his hands together, “everybody this is Jeno Lee and a long time friend of y/n.”
“Not that long but yeah we did work together” Jeno chuckled and got to his feet, “well I’m an installation artist, I actually made the centerpiece in tonight’s launch.”
“Wow, it's amazing!” Renjun complimented and Sungchan agreed, giving Jeno a thumbs up, “yeah man that piece is brilliant.”
Jeno smiled from ear to ear as the meeting proceeded with everyone going through a few of Jenos works and what he could bring to the team. While your teammates concentrated on Jenos work all you could concentrate on was Jeno himself.
You wondered if Jeno knew how gorgeous he was in his effortless tank top and denim jeans combo. You hoped no one caught you staring but someone was well aware of your actions.
Yuta watched how you looked at the young guy, he wasn’t stupid, he knew when you found someone attractive and the way you were ogling Jeno right now, he didn’t like it at all.
The meeting ended and everyone welcomed Jeno to the collective. Johnny gave him a few pointers on which coffee to order from the cafe next to the office and Sungchan exchanged gamer tags with his new friend.
“I’ll see you guys on Monday” you waved as everyone exited the meeting and before you could make your way to catch up with Jeno and Sungchan you were being pulled back into the room.
“Your place or mine ?” Yuta mused and snaked an arm around your waist, looking down at you with dark eyes.
“Neither” you responded, “I’m gonna hang with Jeno and head home, you should find that little damsel to play with”
“Don’t be difficult y/n we're long overdue for our therapy session now” he groaned, pressing his lips to your ear and jaw. As much as he aroused you by just breathing you thought about what Doyoung had said, you needed to move on from this mess.
“Listen I think we need to just stop our sessions” you stepped away from him leaving Yuta slightly taken back from your actions, “let’s move on, be out of each other’s way and not make the group uncomfortable okay ?”
Yuta watched you press your lips together and finally make your exit, leaving him completely alone. You denied his advances for the first time since the two of you started sleeping together and something in him broke.
————————————————————————
Monday came around and the whole team buzzed about Jeno joining the team. Usually a new recruit would hang downstairs with the part time designers but because Taeyong trusted your judgement on Jeno, he was able to integrate with the team.
“Man that Jeno guy seems real chill” Yangyang hopped alongside Johnny and Yuta who were doing the morning coffee run. Yuta kept his composure despite knowing he wasn’t a huge fan of someone new joining the team and throwing off the dynamic. Hands in his pocket he ignored Yangyangs endless questions about the meeting, allowing Johnny to entertain the eager young boy.
“All I know is that having Jeno around means I don’t have to do all the carrying when Lucas bails on me” Johnny sipped his drink as they made their way back to their office. To their surprise Jeno had just arrived, looking like a lost puppy as he examined the names of the floors next to the secretary desk.
“Speak of the devil” Johnny threw his arm around Jeno, startling the boy and led him over to the elevator, “we’re at the top floor newbie, make sure to get an access card from Taeyong.”
“T-thanks” Jeno grinned and bowed politely to both Yuta and Yangyang before stepping into the elevator. The other guys barely bothered with Yuta’s reaction to Jeno because he rarely liked anyone enough to show any sign of enthusiasm. Jeno wasn’t going to change that.
The elevator opened to the top floor and Jeno awed at the chilled atmosphere you all had created here. From Ten’s thousands of plants around the room, Taeyongs fish, a pool table brought in by Lucas and gaming stations set up by Sungchan, it looked like paradise.
“This....is so cool oh my God” Jeno stepped in, his eyes wandering all over the place until it locked on you hanging over at the fish tank with Taeyong.
“Y/n!” Jeno jogged over and you greeted him with a wide smile and a tight hug, “Jeno you made it!” You gleamed. Jeno quickly shook Taeyong’s hand unsure of how formal of a boss he actually was.
“Whoa I feel like a principal” Taeyong giggled as he dropped a few fish flakes for his babies. “Wow, does everybody have their own cubicle ?” Jeno strolled around the room taking a peak at the vast versions of decor each cubicle adorned.
“Yeah” you responded, “but I don’t think yours is ready yet right Doyoung ?”
“That’s right,” Doyoung replied and folded his arms across his chest, “you don’t mind sharing for the week do you ?”
Jeno shrugged and looked over at you, “I was hoping to catch up with y/n anyway, I don’t mind sharing if it’s okay with you ?”
“It’s perfectly fine” you assured him and gestured over to your cubicle, “me casa is su casa.”
“I’m just gonna need some admin stuff sorted Jeno can you join me for a bit ?” Doyoung asked and Jeno nodded, giving you a quick hug before heading off to the administration offices with Doyoung. You watched the blonde guy exit and something just felt so much brighter in the office. You felt a sense of excitement of what’s to come now that Jeno was back in your life. But like all sunny days there always comes a thunderstorm and yours was staring you down like he was waiting to rain on your parade.
“What ?” You blinked, and Yuta shrugged as he peeked into your cubicle. “It’s a bit small isn’t it ? Don’t think two people can work in here” he raised his brow and looked over at you.
“It’s fine” you sighed and pushed past him, “it’s only for a week and he’s not a stranger to me, why do you care ?”
“I don’t” Yuta mumbled, dragging his feet back to his cubicle leaving you questioning his slightly odd behavior. Your mind quickly snapped out of it when Jeno had made his way back, that bright smile spread across his face and suddenly it felt like sunshine filled the room once more.
“I’m back!” He sang and pulled a chair opposite you, retrieving his laptop already looking like a regular in the office.
“Did Doyoung tell you about tonight ? Our little welcoming party over at Kleo’s Sky Bar ?” You asked, skimming through your emails for the day. “Oh, yeah he did, I mean you guys don’t have to do all of this” Jeno chuckled shyly, those pretty eyes distracting you for the third time that day.
“Nah we do it for everyone, and it’s better you know everyone drunk to avoid future surprises” you pointed over to Lucas who was coaching Yangyang through a trick shot at the pool table.  “Gotcha” Jeno nodded, as he watched one of the balls fly off the table and nearly knock Renjun in the back. It was chaos absolutely everyday in the office and you knew Jeno was going to love it here.
But even with Jeno in front of you, your new distraction, your new beginning, like Doyoung and Ten had said you needed, it was a habit at this point to look across the room, wondering what Yuta was up to. You watched him remove his cardigan, exposing his arms in those loose tank tops he always loved to wear as he concentrated on a sketch in front of him. Thankfully he was fully immersed in his work for once to take notice of your eyes on him. You continued observing him, watching him nod along to probably some alternative song blaring in his headphones as he sketched away on his iPad. He was so effortlessly attractive when he wasn’t aware of it.
You needed to snap out of this daydream.
“So are you seeing anyone these days ?”
“Hmm ?”
Jeno laughed as you finally realized that he’d been talking to you and you mentally cursed yourself for even being distracted by Yuta of all people.
“I’m sorry..Uhm no I’m not seeing anyone” you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and Jeno nodded cutely, “uh good...uhm not good that you’re alone but I was hoping you weren’t...God I’m still so bad at this”
You felt your cheeks heat up seeing Jeno fumble over his words and get nervous about asking you such a question. He was so adorable and something in you also wondered if he was like this in a relationship, or in the bedroom.
Was he dominant ? Was he passive ? Yuta was very dominant and you’d even rile him up to the point of him making you shut up with his actions.
“Y/n ?” Jeno waved his hand in front of your face and you shook your head, you couldn’t believe you did it again. What the hell was wrong with you ?
“Oh my God Jeno I'm so sorry...these emails are just a pain in the ass” you lied but thankfully Jeno took the bait and nodded, “it’s okay I’ll let you get back to work, I was going to go down to the cafe, do you want anything ?”
“Yeah a cafe latte would be great thank you” You felt guilty but it was still only two days since you decided to cut off Yuta so adjusting was going to take a bit of time.
Jeno had left for the cafe and you quickly dove straight into your work, hoping the time would just fly by. That was until you heard a knock and watched Yuta saunter into your cubicle and take a seat right in front of you. You watched him prop his elbows on the table and his piercing eyes narrowed down on you as if he were waiting for an answer.
“Why are you here ?” You questioned him, doing your best to divert your attention from his chiseled arms and exposed chest.
“I want an explanation,” Yuta said calmly, his voice deep and monotone.
“To what ?” You knew fully well what he was talking about but you were really  not in the mood to talk to him about this.  Yuta sighed and cocked his head to the side, clearly annoyed by your response. “Why the fuck are we calling it quits when we are nothing to each other ? Can’t we just hook up and ignore each other as usual ?” You sensed the annoyance in his voice. Denying him that night was indeed eating him up since you’ve never done it before.
“Yuta that’s the whole point” you rubbed your temples, “if we are nothing to each other then we shouldn’t be hooking up, it just ties us together for absolutely no reason.”
Yuta stayed quiet for a bit and eventually just nodded, “fine do whatever you want I guess.” You watched him walk out, not bothering to give you a second look and you wondered if the unsettling feeling you were experiencing in this moment was how he felt two days ago.
Nothing made sense.
————————————————————————
The evening arrived and everyone was in good spirits because you were all headed to one of your favourite spots in town. “Lucas you gotta do karaoke tonight” Sungchan threw his arm around the large brown haired man as they entered the bar. “Hmm give me a few rounds of drinks first” Lucas stuck out his tongue as he gestured to the waitress to get the gang the usual table.
Thankfully tonight the bar was fairly empty which meant that the gang could really loosen up without the prying eyes of strangers wishing you’d all just leave.
“Wow this place is pretty cool” Jeno gleamed, allowing you to enter the booth first like a true gentleman before scooting right in next to you. Yuta opted for the seat at the very end as usual, so he could sneak off to smoke without bothering any of friends every couple of minutes. The position also gave him a clear view of you and Jeno who were snuggled up in the corner already lost in your own private conversation.
“Beer ?” Johnny nudged Yuta, snapping him out of his fixation. Yuta nodded and slumped back in his seat trying his best to focus on whatever Renjun and Yangyang were talking about. It’s not like him to feel this way. Usually by now he’d be seated next to you, annoying the shit out of you until he saw those pretty eyes glare at him with rage. Then after you’d have a few drinks you’d be leaning on his shoulder, playing with his rings until he offered to take you home, and then-
“To Jeno!” Lucas yelled, lifting up a shot glass of God knows what and rallied everyone to join in on his toast.
“To Jeno” you grinned leaning into Jeno’s side and clinked glasses with him. Jeno felt warm, comforting, he made it so easy for you to just enjoy having him around rather than it being a task. That’s what a healthy relationship was like wasn’t it ?
“Jeno Im glad and also sorry that you have to join the most annoying group of people ever” Doyoung half smiled and Taeyong waved his hand, “we’re not that annoying Jeno I promise” the pink haired boy reassured him despite Renjun and Ten agreeing with Doyoung’s words. Jeno just laughed it off and turned to you with a bright smile as he draped his arm over your shoulder,
“Kinda feels like fate that I bumped into you huh?”
You know he may have been joking but Jeno was really unaware that his presence really was the antidote to getting rid of the Yuta situation. The team loved him, he was someone you knew and could trust, it was all right there for you, written on paper. Nothing could possibly go wrong… right ?  
“Fourth round is on me” Taeyong held up his card to the waitress despite his tired eyes were quite evident. Everyone was well over tipsy and Lucas had already entertained the bar with his beautiful rendition of “Starboy” by The Weeknd and Johnny stepped in as his air guitar player in the back.
“Gotta go to the bathroom!” You whined while Jeno helped you to your feet as you pushed your way past a sleeping Renjun and a spaced out Sungchan. You could tell tonight was going to take a toll on everyone tomorrow morning.
You quickly exited to the back where the bathrooms were located. You walked down the dim hallway, mentally thanking yourself for not overdoing it with the alcohol as each step became darker and darker.
“Watch your step” someone said and you turned around to see Yuta leaning over a railing with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth.
“Yeah” you managed to say and entered the bathroom before he could say anything else. The lack of alcohol didn’t stop the intrusive thoughts of Yuta filling your mind as you stopped to wash your hands. All you could think about was if he was going to be there when you walked back. Was he going to say anything ? Was he going to do anything ?
Were you going to do anything ?
You stepped outside, head a little more muddled than when you walked in and your first question was answered, Yuta was still there leaning up against the wall looking ahead of him. You slowly began your journey back, keeping your head down to avoid any type of confrontation with him.
“Y/n….” He mumbled, reaching out until he had a grip on your wrist causing your eyes to look up at him. Why did he look so goddamn breathtaking right now, with his stupid black hair all messy and his eyes luring you in like a lion to it’s prey.
“W-what ?” You replied, unsure why you still allowed him to hold you or even have the nerve to stop you from getting back to the rest of your friends. Yuta pushed himself off the wall and turned your body so you were now pressed against the concrete and his body was pressed against you. Your breathing hitched as he ran his fingers lightly down your arms. His eyes concentrated on his movements while yours focused on his face, watching him bite down on his lip as he took in the position the two of you were now in.
“You remember a few weeks back and I had you up against this wall moaning my name ?” His voice was so low that it aroused you, making you mentally curse yourself for the lewd thoughts.
“Yuta…” you sighed but there was a hint of desperation in your voice surprising yourself but not really phasing Yuta at all.
“Yeah just like that” he hummed before pressing his lips to your jaw, and peppered kisses all the way down to your neck. You felt yourself willingly giving him access, melting into every kiss he placed on your warm skin. Yuta’s hands grabbed your waist and pinned you against the wall while your hands instinctively wrapped around his neck and into the soft tufts of his hair.
“Yuta…we shouldn’t…I shouldn’t” you breathed, feeling yourself pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.
“Tell me no and I’ll stop y/n '' Yuta said into your ear to which you responded by pulling him by his belt buckle and pushed yourself up to capture his lips. Yuta’s dominance finally showed when he slipped his leg in between yours, giving you the chance to gain a bit of friction your core so desperately desired at this point. You felt Yuta’s smirk in your kiss when you began grinding down on his thigh showing him the obedient whore you were for him. Nothing Yuta loved more was for you to beg for him, beg for his touch, need him. That was until the two of you heard footsteps and to your dismay it was the last person you’d ever want to see you trapped against a wall with the man you hated.
It was Lee Jeno.
“I’m sorry I - I’m sorry I’ll leave you guys alone-“ Jeno stumbled, he felt his cheeks heat up and made his quick exit out of the hallway.
“Jeno!” You called, pushing Yuta off and tried to neaten yourself. Yuta felt a heated sensation overcoming his body the moment he saw the look in your eye when you saw Jeno and the way you pushed him off like he was a piece of trash. Like he was nothing.
“You know maybe if you’d stop pretending like you don’t wanna fuck me then we can go back to normal” Yuta spat, not caring about the unfortunate situation that had just unfolded.
You turned around to face him and the next words that came out of your mouth you weren’t sure if you were going to regret it or not.
“You’re right Yuta that’s all you are to me and that’s all you ever will be, a good fuck for about an hour and that’s it. Other than that there’s no use for you. At all.”
You stormed away before Yuta could respond, but by now you would have heard his curses echoing throughout the hallway, the whole damn bar would’ve heard it. But there was nothing.
Absolute silence.
———————————————————————
It had been two weeks since the interaction with Yuta at the bar and what you had to him still resonated with you, wanting so badly to apologize. But each time you saw him at the office he paid you little to no attention, going on about his day peacefully and you didn’t want to interrupt that.
Jeno thankfully understood the situation and was more than willing to be the rebound guy, his only rule being that besides work related matters you needed to cut off communication with Yuta altogether.
‘It was the only way you’d get full closure and my mind would be at peace’ Jeno had said after you gave him the rundown of everything that had happened.
Jeno and you agreed to just casually date, nothing official and nothing too serious. You guys went on movie dates, cafe dates and kept the physical aspect to a minimum. It was simple. Laidback. A very normal form of dating.
“Y/n I’m gonna need you on a photo shoot set in a few hours” Taeyong peeped his head into your cubicle and you looked up at him with a frown, “I thought we were working on that rappers record party ?”
“Yeah that rapper wants you, Yangyang and Yuta to tag up the wall for a video segment of his photo shoot” Taeyong replied with a shrug and left you bewildered.
Yuta. From all the damn people he could’ve chosen you had to work beside the person who practically called trash in your last meeting.
Great.
You wrapped up the last of your work and headed downstairs to the parking lot where an Uber was waiting for you. Thankfully Yangyang  could talk anyone’s head off because just sitting next to Yuta during the car ride felt tense. Normally he’d be pushing you into Yangyang or commenting on how his tattoos were better than yours. But all he did was look out of the window watching as the buildings moved past, keeping his airpods in to avoid any type of communication with anyone.
“You guys are finally here! Good Mark Lee is waiting for you at the shoot location” a woman dressed in all black led you into what looked like a gymnasium turned into a giant canvas.
“Are we going to paint all of this ? Man this is going to take forever” Yangyang gasped as the three of you walked through cans of paint, staff members and models.
“You guys are the designers from black space who did that painting over at Jynx Club ?” A young guy approached who you quickly realized was the new hot rapper around town, Mark Lee.
“Uh yeah, that’s us” you chuckled shyly and looked around, “are we really doing up the entire room ?”
“Oh hell nah just the backdrop behind me” Mark waved his hand, “we just laid everything out for a few cgi effects but you guys, do ya thing over there!” You watched the hyped boy get called over by the director leaving the three of you faced with a gigantic piece of white board and no idea.
“Since you guys are uncultured and probably don’t listen to Mark Lee, let me be in charge of this piece” Yangyang pulled out his iPad and began scrolling through some of his sketches. “Be my guest” Yuta shrugged, completely disinterested in the topic and most likely just wanted to get done and go home.
Yangyang finally settled on something that utilized all three of your styles and you all put  on your white overalls, immediately getting to work.
The vibe of the whole job was quite chilled and because of the fumes most of the staff had left the gymnasium leaving the three of you to work in peace. “God I need to pee so bad,” Yangyang groaned as he dangled from a ladder, an aerosol can in hand and a nearly completed section in his corner.
“Dude take a break we’re way behind you anyway” you walked over to steady the ladder as Yangyang finally made his way down. “Thanks guys, be back in 20” he shot you a thumbs up and disappeared into the tunnel leading to the gym lockers.
The tension returned but it was somehow worse than ever before. Even though Yuta was minding his own business for the first time while retrieving a paintbrush he looked at you. There was no unsettling glare or the feeling that he was pissed off at you, he just looked at you like he’d look at anyone else.
And somehow that felt even worse.
“Yuta…do you mind if we talk for a bit” you cleared your throat and he looked over at you and removed one of his airpods signaling to you that he was listening.
“Okay Uhm well I want to apologize for what I said that night” you bit down on your lip, “I didn’t mean it, and it was selfish of me to even think of you like that after coming onto you in the first place.”
Yuta blinked and eventually just nodded, “apology accepted, and I can see that you like Jeno so I’m trying to stay out of the way” he shrugged and continued painting as if this conversation wasn’t that deep to begin with.
“Are you not going to get me back? Are you sure you’re Yuta ?” You raised a brow and Yuta’s manic laugh echoed throughout the gymnasium, “you want me to be mean to you ? Wow y/n that’s truly some kink you got there”
“Ugh you know what I mean” you shoved him playfully, unaware that the brush you were wearing was still wet and now Yuta’s jaw adorned a light shade of orange.
“Oh shit I’m sorry” you quickly said but Yuta had already responded by swiping his red painted fingertips across your cheek and smirked, “now we’re even.”
“Hey mine is way worse than yours!” You grumbled and flicked more paint at Yuta which then enabled a paint war between the two of you. Yuta giggled so much that for a second you forgot how silent he actually had been the past two weeks. He was back to his usual self and so were you, playfully making a mess with him until Yangyang emerged from the tunnel and yelled,  “What are you morons doing ?!”
You and Yuta stood still in the middle of the room both covered head to toe in paint but the scene was way too comical to hold in your laughter any longer.
“Yangyang we’re so sorry but look, it gave the canvas a little more color” you gestured to it and you weren’t lying, it actually did look a lot better than before.
“Fine you two can go on break, I'll finish up so we’re not sitting around until midnight” Yangyang huffed and returned to his masterpiece. “Is there a place to clean up here ?” Yuta asked and the woman from earlier on walked in and pointed to the tunnel located in the back of the gym, “there are bathrooms and showers back there, our crew provided fresh towels as well so go ahead” she smiled and you silently thanked her before heading to the tunnel with Yuta.
“God I have paint everywhere” you whined as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. Yuta chuckled as he began inspecting himself, looking at the peculiar fingerprints all over his face and neck. “This shit better not stain my skin” he grumbled as he picked away a piece of paint from a crevice in his ear.  “Tell me about it” you responded and began removing the overalls. All you could think of was jumping into that shower stall and allowing the hot water to melt away all the grime and paint when you noticed Yuta was already down to his boxers.
Your gasp made Yuta snicker to himself as he walked around the bathroom looking for the ideal stall to take his shower in.
“Nothing you haven’t seen before” you heard him say before hopping into one of the stalls and drawing the curtain. Despite his words being correct it still made your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. You guys were comfortable like this before, not now, not with Jeno in your life.
You shook your head and entered a stall opposite Yuta and a few rows down, just so you weren’t close to him but not far enough that made you feel alone.
“Fuck how is their paint on my ass ? That’s impossible!” Yuta groaned and you couldn’t help but laugh, “TMI, Yuta” you replied and Yuta scoffed, “says the person who’s responsible for this.” The banter ended and again all you heard was the sound of both showers hitting your bodies simultaneously, the air filled with steam and more unusual tension.
“Y/n ?”
“Yeah?”
Yuta was silent for a while and then you heard his water turn off. “Do you uhm mind checking if I got all the paint off my back ? I’ll uhm put my boxers on” he mumbled and you felt your heartbeat speed up.
First of all the Yuta you knew would’ve just walked over butt ass naked and pulled your curtain aside not caring at all. The way he acted now was out of character, but somewhat familiar.
“Yuta I’m still in the shower and naked” you chewed on the inside of your cheek while you waited in silence.
“I’ll close my eyes, I just don’t want this shit to dry up when we get back to work later” he replied and you heard his light footsteps coming toward you. Quickly moving your hair back and holding the curtain against your body, you slowly peeled back the material to reveal Yuta with his back facing you and with his eyes closed, like he said.
You peered down at his golden skin, taking in his broad shoulders and tiny waist as you inspected for any more signs of acrylic paint.
“Uhm yeah you have a little on your shoulder blade and lower back”
“Do…you mind…”
You bit down on your lip knowing this was already crossing the line. But you had just made up and it was your fault that he had paint on his back in the first place. It was innocent. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself while staring at one of the sexiest people you had ever met.
You began rubbing away pieces of the paint, ignoring Yuta’s whines when you used too much pressure. Your hands traced down to his lower back, settling in the dip as you tried to remove a very stubborn piece of paint.
“Ugh this one is not coming off” you scratched at it and to your surprise Yuta had let out a moan instead of the usual wincing.
“I don’t mean to kink shame but-“
Yuta spun around and glared at you, challenging you to finish your sentence but you were more concerned at the fact that the only thing protecting your nude body from Yuta right now was a thin piece of fabric.
“Yuta!” You scolded and he rolled his eyes, “oh please y/n I’ve seen it all, now can you please help me with the paint ?”
You watched wide eyed as Yuta stepped into the shower going back on his word to close his eyes and face the wall. You couldn’t believe what was happening right now but the quicker you removed the paint the quicker he’d be out of here.
“Aren’t your boxers…going to get wet ?” You watched him step closer to water already allowing his hair to soak up the warm stream. “Well you’re not gonna let me take them off with you in here and I’ll probably just go commando when we get back to the office” Yuta shrugged and you should’ve known that was one of his options since he has done it in the past.
You sighed and let go of the curtain allowing your naked body to be free and go back to work on his paint splatter. Yuta was calm and collected throughout the process, you silently commended him on his restraint, that was until he decided to turn around and look at you.
“Y-Yuta you promised” your voice was small but you still didn’t do much to cover up your body. Yuta leaned against the cold ceramic wall as he stared at you, his stare was dark, inviting you in like that night at the bar.
“I’m not going to do anything y/n unless you want me to” he reassured you, still maintaining a distance and doing absolutely nothing to persuade you. But did you need persuasion when all he needed to do was be in the same room as you?
The two of you stared in each other’s eyes for a few minutes and you had no idea who actually made the first move but there you were in the center of the shower stall, in a random gymnasium, kissing Yuta Nakamoto.
Yuta’s bare body was pressed against yours as the two of you fought for dominance in the kiss. You placed your hands on his chest to which he responded by wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer until his hardened member twitched against your stomach. There were no words, just actions. Each kiss only made you more desperate for him, not feeling this type of arousal since that night at the bar. He was the only person who could turn you on to the point that every image of Jeno was erased from your mind.
You tugged down his boxers with urgency and Yuta helped you quicken the process, quickly kicking away the piece of clothing and had you pushed up against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist. Yuta pulled away from your lips with a sultry bite on your bottom lip and lined up his member with your core. He kept his eyes on you the entire time from the moment he slipped into your wetness to the harsh thrusts he was now giving to you against the coldness of the wall. You felt like you were complete, filled with the right amount of passion and ecstasy. God you hated to admit it but nobody could fuck you the way Yuta did. Absolutely no one.
Yuta slowed down his thrusts and you brought your feet back to the ground, gesturing for him to take a seat on the floor and got on top of his member once more. Yuta threw his head back as you rode him relentlessly, grabbing onto your ass as he tried to meet your rhythm. The sight of him partially under the water and his swollen lips was delicious, you couldn’t ask for a better view right now. Yuta on the hand was also enjoying having you bounce on his length, quickly realizing that the women he had bedded during his time without you were not worth it. Not a single one of them made him feel the way you did. Even the times you guys were fucking around he’d sleep with other women because he didn’t want to admit that you are his best. You will always be his best.
“G-gonna cum” you panted and Yuta quickly rubbed circles on your clit to help you reach your orgasm. He watched your body spasm and you threw your head back with a soft moan. The sight alone made him come undone straight after you, filling you up completely.
You slowly got to your feet with the help of Yuta offering his hand and managed to finally catch your breath.
What the fuck did you just do ?
“Before you say this was a mistake and you hate me, hear me out” Yuta spoke up, “I need to know something”
You bit down on your lip. “Yeah?”
“Do you like me ?”
“What ?” You quietly questioned and Yuta sighed, rubbing his temples, “do you like me y/n ? actually like me ? Or is it you just like fucking me ?”
“I don’t know Yuta you know that I’m seeing Je-“you began explaining before Yuta quickly cut you off. “Don’t say his name, listen I know you like fucking me because that’s what happened right now despite whatever feelings you have for…Jen..him.”
“So what am I supposed to do ?” You asked, still unsure of how you were even going to face Jeno back at the office after this.
“Use me,” Yuta deadpanned, “keep me as your dirty little secret and I won’t tell a soul. I just don’t want this to end. I’m fucking addicted to this, and clearly you’re in need of me just as much as I need you.”
Yuta took a step forward and cupped your cheek with the palm of his hand. “I just crave you all goddamn day and nothing is fulfilling that need until right now.”
You knew exactly what he was talking about but you couldn’t bring yourself to share how much you ached for him. Late nights when you were alone you even pleased yourself with memories of him. You were unsure if it was lust at this point or you actually missed being around him. Despite every fight and argument the two of you had, there was something always drawing you in.
“First of all I don’t hate you” you sighed and he chuckled dryly before you continued, “I don’t know if this is a good idea but I’m only agreeing because Jeno and I aren’t serious yet and if we are-“
“I’ll back off I promise” Yuta quickly added and you nodded, “he can’t know about this, nobody can.”
“You have my word” Yuta pressed his lips together and for the first time he looked absolutely serious. Something in you made you trust that he wouldn’t fuck this up, because that would mean the one thing he wanted most right now would fall through.
You just hoped that this little need the two of you had for each other wasn’t turning into an…obsession.
————————————————————————-
“You guys are finally back” Ten stretched his arms above his head as you, Yangyang and Yuta returned back to the office after quite an eventful afternoon.
“Wanna see pics ? It turned out great!” Yangyang grinned quickly, running over to the older guys, showing off his artwork. Jeno was over at the game area with Sungchan completely invested in beating his friend in a round of Call Of Duty.
“Hey you” you sunk into the beanbag next to Jeno who shot you a quick glance before concentrating on his next move, “your hairs wet, why ?”
“Showered after the painting session” you answered diligently hoping there were no follow up questions. Thankfully he was way too invested in his video game to care much, you really weren't in the mood for an interrogation after half a day with Yuta.
Jeno asked a lot of questions when he felt insecure about something. Even though time had been short with him, it still somehow felt like a 2 year relationship. For a young guy Jeno was pretty old fashioned, he made you pick all the date places and never bothered to make the first move physically until you hinted to him that it was okay.
He was so different to what you were used to and you were afraid that if you didn’t speed things up with him this little secret with Yuta would turn into a reality.
“Hey y/n can you help me with lunch ?” Doyoung called from the makeshift kitchen area a few feet away and you silently thanked him for distracting you from your thoughts.
“Hey Doyoung” you smiled as you began opening containers from the Chinese delivery you guys frequented. “Just wanted to check in with you” Doyoung sweetly said as he grabbed a few utensils, “you and Jeno huh ? Was that part of my advice ?”
You pressed your lips together and nodded. “Yeah I guess so, it also helps that I’ve known him for a while now and he did actually have a thing for me in high school” Doyoung cocked his head at your words and leaned in, “and you liked him back or you’re seeing something in him now that you didn’t see before ?”
“U-uhm I think he’s hot” you chewed on your lip and Doyoung chuckled softly, “you know not everything is about looks or…hooking up, do you enjoy his time ? His interests ? His company ?”
You turned back to where Jeno was still playing his video games and you did feel a little confused as to what you guys actually did have in common. “I mean…” you began, crossing your arms across your chest, “we’ve only been seeing each other romantically for two weeks I think it’s too soon to tell.”
Doyoung combed back his hair and instead of bringing forth his insight in order to make you see things clearer he just nodded.
“You’re probably right, well I wish you guys all the best, it’s better than being with someone who doesn’t care emotionally right ?”
You slowly nodded and with that Doyoung began taking the food to the dining area leaving you with more confusing thoughts than you had before.
Lunch and the rest of the evening went on smoothly. Yuta stayed out of your way and there was absolutely no sign that the two of you we’re together that day. It was easier to fake seeing Yuta since the group knew the two of you would’ve been bickering straight after hooking up. It was the perfect illusion.
“Mark Lee’s party is at 9pm tomorrow night you guys, don’t forget” Taeyong looked around the room until he heard a confirmation from every single mouth.
“9pm ? Shit would it be okay if I only stuck around for an hour ?” Jeno sighed and looked over at Taeyong, “my brothers in town and I promised I'd get him from the airport at 10:30.”
“Well you’d have to show one of the guys here how to turn the installation on” Doyoung’s worried look matched Taeyong.
“I’ll be there to turn it on I’ll just need to leave straight after” Jeno assured them and squeezed your hand under the table, “it’s all really sudden but you’ll be okay right ?”
“I’ll be fine, I’m probably going to head home after the music video airing anyway” you smiled at him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead earning a whistle from Lucas.
Yuta awkwardly shuffled at the sudden PDA and he hoped no one at the table noticed but it caught the attention of none other than Johnny Suh who narrowed his eyes at his coffee run mate.
The evening had wrapped up and everyone had already headed home except for Yuta and Johnny who were adamant on finishing a photography project for a band they were working with.
“Trouble in paradise ?” Johnny hummed as he edited an image on his laptop. Yuta, who was busy sorting out the Polaroids, turned to face his large best friend with a lost expression.
“Huh?” He raised a brow to which Johnny shook his head still staring at his screen.
“I can’t believe this, after all these fucking hellish months now you realize you like her?”
Yuta leaned in on the desk. “What the heck are you on about Johnny ?”
“Y/n” Johnny sighed and your name made Yuta’s heart race a bit, hoping Johnny hadn’t found out about the shower incident. God you’d hate him forever if anyone found out.
“Listen Johnny we-“
“You like her! After all those months of fighting I knew you were secretly in love and now” Johnny threw his hands in the air, “now that Jeno has entered the arena you have ruined your chances. Way to go buddy.”
“Wait what ?! I’m not in love with y/n!” Yuta scoffed. Saying that sentence out loud felt like a lie even though he couldn’t fully convince himself.  Was he in love ? Was Johnny mistaking love for just lust ?
That’s all it was and ever was right ?
You enjoyed fucking around with him and he was okay with it. That’s what he wanted too. Even if you didn’t answer his question of whether you liked him or not, it was okay. Whatever you wanted was okay as long he got to be with you.
“I’m not in love with y/n.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You and Jeno arrived at the party with Yangyang and Sungchan all helping carry equipment for Jeno’s installation. The piece was a pixel art board that formed Mark Lee’s latest EP cover, and once plugged in it gave it an animated effect, basically bringing the EP cover to life. You marvelled at the hard work Jeno had put in, it was just a shame that he wasn't sticking around to receive praise from everyone who attended.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay here ? I know how much you hate these parties” Jeno pressed his lips together as he brought you into a tight hug. You hummed and looked up at him smiling, “Only been dragged to one of these parties a million times, another round won't hurt.” Jeno responded by pressing his lips to your forehead before joining Sungchan in setting up the installation. You always wondered why Jeno opted for your forehead instead of your lips most of the time despite already having your first real kiss. You understood he wasn't big on PDA, but the only time you ever got to kiss him was at your apartment door when a date had ended or when you sneaked in a kiss at the cinema. As much as you liked his chivalry, God at times you just wished he took initiative and bent you over your kitchen counter and had his way with you. It was kinda humorous how Jeno was the ideal type of any women out there but for you, you needed an unhinged, sex-crazed maniac to match your energy.
You needed Yu-
“It looks really good Jeno.” Your breathing hitched when you heard Yuta’s voice from behind you. You turned around but to your surprise he wasn't alone. Yuta was accompanied by a familiar face, Mei, a part-time designer from a few floors down. The way she held onto his arm made something stir inside of you. Your cheeks burned up and you dare say it for the first time you felt...jealous.
You were used to seeing Yuta with many different girls but it was always some nobody that he never bothered to introduce to the group. He always made sure none of them integrated with his work life but Mei, Mei was the first person you actually knew.
“y/n its been a while, Oh my God you look great” she said sweetly and you returned a friendly smile despite your awkwardness. Yuta gave you a quick glance not really paying you any mind as he kept a steady hand on Mei’s lower back, the two of them practically looking like a couple. It made you feel uneasy. After all he had said to you that afternoon in the shower, It seemed like he didn't mean it.
“It’s perfect Jeno you really outdid yourself” Taeyong applauded as the rest of the team finally arrived, all congratulating Jeno on his first big project under Blank Space. Jeno shyly thanked everyone and checked his watch, sighing that it was already time for him to depart.
“You're going now ?” You walked over to wrap your arms around his waist. You didn't care much before about Jeno leaving early, before Yuta decided to bring a date to the party which meant you would definitely be on your own. Jeno pouted and stroked your head, “yeah, we're still on for Sunday though right ?” and you replied with a nod before sinking into one of his very warm hugs. You had no idea why, but the need to ease your jealousy and get back at Yuta was so strong that you ended up pulling out of the hug and kissed Jeno in front of everyone. Thankfully Jeno didn't shy away and maybe the guilt of leaving you made him return the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you against your body.
“Get a room you guys” Ten joked when the two of you finally pulled away, and Jeno chuckled shyly before leaning into your ear, “let’s do that more often” he cheekily smiled and pecked your lips once more before making his way to the exit. Johnny watched as Yuta still looked visibly uncomfortable, more so now than before. But Johnny also knew how damn stubborn Yuta was and watched him throw his arm around Mei, departing from the group most likely for the rest of the night.
It was late into the night and Yuta was already way too many shots down to call himself sober. Mei was talking but he was not listening. Mei was a nice girl who had made it known to him that she liked him for a while now, but unfortunately for her she was not you. All Yuta wanted was you and again he cursed himself for being so fucking hooked. He wanted to make you jealous but after he saw you kiss Jeno it just came back to him ten thousand times harder. He came to terms with his addiction now in his drunken state he was scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the only person he cared about.
You.
“Hey I'm going to leave now...do you want to come with ?” Mei nervously bit down on her lip hoping the man she's been pining for months will finally take notice of her.
“Nah im good, I’m probably going to wait until my friends leave” Yuta replied coldly, his eyes still scanning the crowd as he took another sip from his jack daniels and coca-cola concoction. Mei nodded, disappointed that her night had not gone as planned and left silently, leaving her date to finally gain his freedom.
Yuta scanned the crowd for the tenth time until he did a double take at a figure in the back corner, dancing on their own with no care in the world. Downing the rest of his drink Yuta kept his eyes focused on you despite the alcohol blurring his vision and his body feeling heavy, he had to get to you.
You were in the same state as him, most likely worse since Lucas challenged you to a drink off. You had no clue when you separated from the rest of the group so you stuck a little corner hoping to sober up before heading home. As you swayed along to the music you felt someone wrap their hands around your waist and the familiar scent of that Tom Ford perfume made you realize who it was.
“Yuta…” you groaned, pulling his hands away from your body, still remembering how awful he made you feel a few hours earlier. God were you the rebound chick now ? The thought alone was sickening.
Yuta, still blissfully unaware that you were mad at him, still pushed his body against yours until your back was pressed against the wall and you had no choice but to look up at him. You watched him move his face down in order to capture your lips, but you quickly evaded it with a turn of your head. Yuta scoffed and sufficed for your neck, giving you soft wet kisses all the way down to your collarbones until you pushed him off yet again.
“What the fuck ?” He growled in your ear, “I thought we had a deal.” You rolled your eyes at him, there was the side of Yuta you hated the most. You wondered how long it would be until he factory reseted back to an asshole.
“I thought I was first choice” you snapped at him, “all your talk about no one can satisfy you like I can, use me y/n, I only want you” you mimicked his voice and flipped him off with your finger. Yuta knew you were jealous but it was kind of ironic given the situation. You were the one in a relationship, not him. “Oh so I'm supposed to see you suck face with Jeno but I can't have any fun y/n ?” Yuta had you back against the wall, this time his hand was locked on your jaw with his lips against your ear.
“Maybe I should've fucked Mei” Yuta’s voice was dark, you felt him smirk against your ear when his words clearly affected you, “Maybe if I fucked her she would've been so good that i would forget all about you y/n.” Your eyes darted to him and he cocked his head, challenging you, waiting to see how much you could take before you caved. Normally you’d be the one getting Yuta riled up like this. It was common knowledge that Yuta was a very jealous person and just mentioning another man sexually he would lose his mind. Once you were craving his attention and casually mentioned to him that if Doyoung was interested you’d let him screw you on his office desk, and Yuta responded by fucking you senseless in the supply closet until the only name that escaped your lips was his.
But now the tables were turned and you didn't want to hear about Mei. You didn't want to picture her next to Yuta let alone in bed with him. It was selfish on your part considering Jeno, but you wanted Yuta all to yourself.
“Shut up” you narrowed your eyes at him and grabbed a fist full of his shirt and brought him closer. Yuta traced his thumb over your lips and smiled, already knowing he won this round.
“Tell me why I cant fuck her right now y/n, tell me” he coaxed, and you responded by pulling him into a sensual kiss, your tongue slipping into his mouth and your hand palming his member until you heard him groan in your ear,
You pulled away from the kiss and pressed your swollen lips to his ear, “Because...you're mine.” Yuta licked his own lips at your words and grabbed at your ass,
“Show me I'm yours, baby.”
You had no idea when and how the both of you got to Yuta’s apartment in one piece but the moment he had his foot in the door, Yuta was tugging your dress over your head. “Fuck why do you always wear the most  complicated things” Yuta whined which you found cute even though you would never let him know that you were well aware of his adorable side. Sighing from victory, Yuta finally got your dress off and pulled you into his familiar bedroom, which you honestly missed so fucking much.
Taking in the familiar scent of his perfume and his slightly messy room, with posters on the walls, and a rack of band shirts - it was his little heaven and you loved it.
You walked over to lie on his bed, sinking into the soft fabric of the bed sheets as a familiar rock song began playing from Yuta’s stereo. You watched him as he discarded his shirt and ripped jeans, showing off his chest tattoos and belly ring, just the sight of him was already making you wet. Yuta was none the better, groaning as his boner pushed against the fabric of his underwear as his eyes took in your body, sexily laid out for him like you used to be.
“Fuck…” his lips parted as he watched you spread your legs, waiting for him obediently. Yuta crawled up onto the bed and nestled in between your thighs, his mischievous eyes looking up at yours before he began peeling away the thin piece of fabric revealing your core.
“You're…so…wet baby” he said in a low voice and leaned in to give your heat a soft kiss. The instant contact made your body shiver, reaching down to play with his dark curls. “Yuta…please” you whined as he continued his light kisses, not giving you the pressure you desired. Yuta looked up with an innocent face and cocked his head, “Why should I do it ?” His fingers traced circles on your hips and abdomen, waiting for an answer.
“Because…you’re mine Yuta, I want you…all to myself…I want to please me, only me” you threw your head back. Not having sex for over a month was really getting to you and the frustration had you saying just about anything. Yuta watched you squirm and after hearing those words he figured it was a good enough reward for his dear fuck-buddy. Yuta kissed your core once more but this time his tongue darted out every once in a while, awarding you with a better sensation. You moaned inaudible words as he began eating you out like a pro, lapping away like his life depended on it before inserting two fingers inside you.
“Yuta wait I’m gonna-“ you grabbed onto his hair, feeling your orgasm come on way too early for your liking as his fingers moved rapidly and his tongue licked away at your clit. Yuta ignored your plea knowing this was only the first of many and honestly he was glad that he was still the only man giving you orgasms for the past couple of months.
Yuta pulled away, a devilish smirk spread across his face as he watched you cum all over his fingers and just as your vision was in focus you had the pleasure of seeing him lick his fingers clean as if he just had the most amazing meal ever,
“Mmmm tasty” he bit down on his lip and winked at you. God he was so damn cocky, and it didn’t take you long to recover from that orgasm to make room for another. You got to your knees and sat back, your face now level with Yuta’s clothed member.
Yuta groaned as you palmed him, his length already twitching against your touch. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but since the night you had called it off with him, his desire had subsided and he wondered if you were the sole reason for his high sex drive. You placed your lips against his belly ring, giving it a kiss before pulling down his boxers and allowing his member to spring free. Yuta cursed as your tongue swiped across the tip and you looked up at him with those large eyes, and Yuta knew exactly what you were waiting for. Positioning your mouth over his tip, you waited until Yuta grabbed a fistful of your hair and guided you down on his length, groaning loudly as you took in all of him.
Yuta’s hips began to meet your rhythm and the grip on your hair tightened, the sudden roughness made you shiver with excitement. You and Yuta always liked it rough, since it took out your anger on each other and any type of nurturing or romance would throw off the dynamic.  
Yuta threw his head back as he released, keeping you on him until you swallowed every bit. He muttered curse words as he pulled out and watched you lick your lips, swiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb and sucked it off.
“Yum” you mimicked his words from earlier with a smirk essentially driving Yuta crazy with lust. You giggled as he pushed you onto the bed and attacked you with bites and kisses, leading from your neck down to the valley of your breasts. “How long until you get hard again?” You sighed playfully but winced when Yuta’s teeth sunk into your skin, punishing you for your words.
“Cocky aren’t we ?” He moved back up to your lips and kissed you passionately. Just as you began melting into the kiss, Yuta pulled away and jumped off his bed heading to his closet.
“What are you doing ?” You groaned as you watched him sift through the mess of his closet until he finally retrieved a familiar box. “Yuta you’re literally hard right now, come on let’s just fuck already” you whined, knowing that when Yuta brought out that box it was his way of getting rid of your bratty attitude.
“If you wanna be impatient two can play at that game” he grinned and hopped onto the bed, pulling out his favorite pair of hair cuffs and with ease, cuffed you to his headboard. You watched him look through his box of toys, rubbing your thighs together excited about what his choice will be.
Yuta grabbed something out of the box and discarded the rest onto the floor, making his way back up to your body and pressed his lips against your ear, “you remember the safe word baby ?” Yuta pecked you when you nodded and you watched him insert a mini vibrator in your core and roll off the bed with the remote in his hand.
“I wasn’t even that mean to you” you grumbled, still getting used to the device inserted in you. Yuta shrugged and turned the device on, keeping it on a low setting as he watched you stir in his bed.
“I’m not punishing you for that actually, I’m punishing you for something else you did” he said calmly, pacing around the room butt ass naked.  You frowned and thought back to the party when he had found you, what did you say to him ?
“I’m sorry I pushed you…away” you pouted but a moan escaped your lips when you felt the setting turn higher and you watched Yuta shake his head, “nope that’s not it.” You groaned and threw your head back, unable to even think what the hell he could be on about. Yuta would get mad at every little thing so it honestly could’ve been anything.
“Can’t I have a hint or something ?” You pleaded and Yuta raised his eyebrow and eventually sighed, giving in too easily. “It happened in the beginning at the party” he said annoyingly, and finally something in your brain clicked.
“The kiss ? You’re mad over the kiss ?” Your words fell off when you felt the vibrator go another setting higher, the new speed was decent enough to start building a second orgasm. “You don’t sound like you’re apologizing for it” Yuta scoffed and dangled the remote in front of your face, “this goes up 4 more speeds y/n.”
“Why do I need to apologize for kissing my boyfriend when-“
Another setting higher.
“Fuck wait Yuta” you breathed, it was impossible to even keep focused at the new speed and the sensation was now running throughout your entire body. “You kissed him in front of me to make me jealous didn't you?” Yuta questioned and you nodded frantically, pressing your thighs together to ease the intensity, “yes yes oh my God, I wanted to make you….jealous because you brought someone else…and..fuck” just as you felt your body finally build up a perfect orgasm the vibrator suddenly turned off and you were met with Yuta’s cocky smile.
“You like to have it all don’t you y/n” he hummed as flung the remote aside and knelt between your thighs that were shaking from the orgasm denial. “You want to fuck me, but not let me fuck anyone else, you want Jeno but you don’t want me to get mad over it” he continued as he pulled the dripping wet toy out of your core and tossed it to the floor. Yuta placed his hands on either side of you and looked down at your defeated face and smiled, “Do you want me to fuck someone else?”
You shook your head and Yuta undid one of the handcuffs. He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and again asked you another question, “Do you want to fuck me ?” and you quickly nodded, earning your second hand free from the cuffs allowing them to fall to your sides. Yuta placed his hand around your throat and squeezed gently, smirking as you arched your back, thirsting for him so desperately.
“Who would fuck you better, me or Jeno ?” Yuta mused as his hand released a bit of pressure on your throat. “Y-you” your voice was small and Yuta released your throat and his hand moved down to smack your thigh.
“Say it, say who will fuck you better” he hissed.
“You Yuta, you will fuck me better than anyone…better than Jeno” Yuta grinned at your words, a little surprised that you used Jeno’s name in such a blasphemous way. He was in euphoria at this point. It was all he needed to hear after continuously seeing you and Jeno look as if you were in love with each other.
It was all wrong.
You and him loved each other.
Fuck. He loved you. He really did.
Yuta pushed his length into your core and groaned as the realization of his thoughts and his conversation with Johnny all hit him at once. The sight of you beneath him, moaning his name and your confession that you wanted him over Jeno. It was all too much.
You moaned as he thrusted into you, his hips violently hitting against yours as your nails dug into his lower back. The lewd sounds filled the room and for a second the two of you looked into each other’s eyes, both feeling something…different. Usually Yuta would be fucking you from behind, his favourite position because he loved looking at your ass but tonight especially after his sudden questioning, he took care of you differently.
You don’t know what came over you and it was yet another thing you never did during sex but you pulled him down to kiss you. Your lips moved passionately against his, desperately clinging to his body as his strokes became longer and more powerful. Yuta sighed into the kiss, palming your cheek and his movements suddenly became more gentle as if he were making love to you, not fucking you.
“Yuta…I’m close” you moaned into his ear, loving this new feeling of him on your body. Yuta hummed in response and quickened his pace, making sure to sneak in a kiss every now and then until he finally brought you to your long awaited orgasm. You watched him bite down on his lip as he thrusted into you, chasing his own orgasm until he pressed his against your ear and said the words you never thought you’d hear from him.
“I love you y/n”
Your body slightly froze as Yuta finally came and he rolled off your body, mentally cursing himself for allowing those words to escape his mouth at this moment. But it’s what he felt.
Johnny was right.
“W-what ?” You finally managed to say and turned to him. Yuta licked his lips and kept his focus on the ceiling above him.
“You heard me right” he said calmly and you felt your heart race. Where was this coming from ? He was the one who always implemented the no romance rule and he chooses now, the moment you’re seeing someone else to confess to you.
“I have to go” you murmured and jumped off the bed, starting to collect your clothes from the floor. You heard the bed creak and Yuta sat up and watched you dress up. “It’s late now y/n and you drank, stay the night and leave when the suns up” he insisted, eventually grabbing his own boxers,
“Here you can sleep in one of my shirts and you’re welcome to sleep in my bed for the night.”
“Y-you…that was one of the rules…no staying over” you were biting on your nails, everything that had happened in the last ten minutes made no sense. Yuta shoved the shirt into your hands and sighed, “Look, we don’t have to talk about what I said or what happened, just stay the night and you can go back to your perfect life with Jeno.” Yuta began making his way to his door when you grabbed onto his arm making him stop in his tracks,
“Where are you going ?” You asked him softly.
Yuta looked at you and sighed, “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”
“Yuta..”
“What ?”
“Stay with me.”
—-—————————————————————
You had no idea why you had told him to stay in bed with you considering all that had happened a few minutes ago. But here you were, curled into his chest listening to his heartbeat as he lightly stroked your hair.
“How…long ?” You broke the silence and felt his heartbeat slightly race, “The realization came recently but I’ve…always liked you y/n” Yuta responded softly.
“Well you don’t have a good way of showing it” you rolled your eyes and Yuta’s soft laughter filled the room. “Well at first you actually were annoying but I did find you cute” He replied and shifted until you were on your back looking up at him,
“You put up with me and we’re not afraid to fight back. You know it’s not even about the sex, I think we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company, we just have a weird way of showing it.” You listened to his words and did a bit of reflection for yourself. You were already well aware that he occupied your mind 24/7 and did not enjoy seeing him around other girls he would eventually sleep with. But was this…love ? You weren't so sure.
“Do you ever think it’s more of an addiction rather than…love ?” You looked up at him, hoping your words did not offend his sudden confession in any way. Yuta sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling deep in thought.
“What is love then ?” He murmured, clearly by the look on his face he had been pondering on this question for a while now. You joined him in laying on your back and looked up at the ceiling, “love is when the other person completes you” you began, “when you’re having a dull day and just the sight of them could turn that around. Love is wanting to protect that person all the time, it’s just love.”
Yuta turned to you, “have you ever been in love ?”
You shook your head. “I don’t think so.”  Yuta shrugged and returned his focus above him, “whatever you just described is how I feel, but maybe I’m just still hung up on the Jeno situation.” You felt a pang in your chest as if you just completely destroyed his spirit. You always saw Yuta as a strong confident presence, yet the person next to you seemed lost, he looked broken. But deep down you knew that whatever he was describing had floated in your head from time to time, maybe it needed to be said out loud for you to finally realize.
“Give me a week”
“Huh ?” Yuta’s eyebrows raised at you.
“Give me a week to figure all of this out and we will have this talk again” you sat up and looked back at him. Yuta propped himself up on his elbows and shook his head, “y/n, if you don’t feel the same way it’s okay I won’t come in between you and…Jeno anymore.”
“Yuta”
“Hmm?”
You pulled the boy by his shirt until you were able to lock your lips with his, slipping your tongue into his mouth and he mimicked your actions before pulling away, a confused expression spreading across his face.
“I don’t know where this is going to go and whether we’re right for each other,” you chuckled dryly, “but I will always want you Yuta, you’re not coming between Jeno and I because the one who wants… .”
————————————————————————
It was finally Monday and you already regretted seeing Jeno at the office since you faked a terrible hangover to get out of the Sunday date, something that wasn’t entirely a lie. You spent the whole of Sunday laying in your bed thinking about the night you spent with Yuta and all that was shared during the morning.
You thought back on your own words about what your version of love was. Protecting someone. You reminisced about the days when Yuta got sick after a night out and you were the one to take care of him despite his protests. You thought back to when the two of you were working on a project, arguing as usual and you managed to slip on a wet paint spot, causing you to sprain your ankle. Yuta was the one to help you around the office when needed, he wasn’t appointed to you nor did he have to use up his own time to help you but he did it anyway.
When you were having a dull day the person you loved would find a way to brighten it up, just the sight of them was enough. There was an occasion where a client got real mean with you in the office, and hated the project you worked almost a month on, refusing to pay you for the labor you had put in. Yuta had seen the commotion and joined you in your booth and the two of you flooded the clients company with hilarious bad reviews anonymously until you were literally tearing up from laughter. That was one of the rare days the two of you didn’t get into an argument and the moment completely slipped your mind. You had  forgotten that Yuta and you actually shared fond memories of each other outside the bedroom.
You thought about every moment you got to the office and Yuta would be sticking his tongue out at you, calling you names and being a jerk as usual. But days when he had to work out of the office felt boring, empty, it wasn’t worth sitting in your cubicle without seeing him across from you.
But then after feeling the warm fuzziness of knowing Yuta felt the same way about you, your phone buzzed with Jeno’s name across the screen. Why were you doing this to him ? Why was Jeno in the crossfire when all he wanted to do was get to know you better ?
All you ever wanted was a distraction from the man you were scared to fall in love with.
“Heyyy you, you feeling okay ?” Jeno beamed when you entered the office, immediately bringing you into a tight hug and ending with a kiss on the cheek. You nodded and the sense of guilt over took your body as you looked up at his cheery smile.
“I heard you guys got so wasted at the party, damn I wish I stayed” Jeno giggled as the two of you walked hand in hand over to your cubicle. “Yeah it was…crazy” you faked a smile before settling in your seat. You looked across, a force of habit and you were greeted by a soft smile from Yuta before quietly returning to his work.
“I was thinking we should go see that new marvel movie tonight, what do you think ?” Jeno’s eyes were so bright and full of energy that everytime you looked into them it just made it harder to keep up your facade. “I’m pretty busy this week but hey Friday you can come over, I…need to talk to you anyway” you bit down on your lip and Jeno’s expression changed from excited to slightly wary, clearly noticing that something wasn’t quite right.
“Is….everything okay?” He asked in a staggered voice, and you slowly nodded and reached to squeeze his hand, “yeah let’s hang out on Friday okay ?” You smiled and Jeno pressed his lips together and nodded. You watched him exit your cubicle and all that was left in your view was the only person you wanted to see today, Yuta.
Yuta looked up and caught your stare, smiling softly as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand and winked at you. It was sweet and innocent, nothing like how he usually acted from across the room. You found yourself blushing and hid your face until you heard a beep come from your phone. Opening the messenger app you were greeted by a picture of yourself hiding your crimson cheeks with the message ‘Cute’ attached to it.
y/n: didn’t take you for a simp.
yutaa: fuck off, I have a folder like this.
You stifled your laughter when Yuta sent a screenshot with a folder just of you in your cubicle. From you flipping him off, to you glaring at him clearly pissed off at something he had said, and one of you trying your best to pay attention to whatever story Yangyang was on about.
y/n: oh my god you’re a BIG SIMP.
yutaa: maybe.
y/n: well I do have ONE of you that I don’t have the heart to delete.
yutaa: oh really ?
You sent Yuta a picture you absolutely treasured of him in your bed fast asleep hugging one of your plushies. It was one of the last nights you had with him before things got sour. Normally you’d never allow him to nap in your bed after a hookup but he looked so at peace and so adorable  that you decided to bend the rules a little.
yutaa: that was a good ass nap. yutaa: simp.
y/n: maybe.
The rest of the day went on and honestly you felt as if you were on cloud nine, chatting to Yuta like he was your high school crush. Smiling every time he texted back and glancing up every now and then, waiting for him to look at you with that cheeky grin. But as reality set in and Yuta’s smile faded, you were still dating another man. Who now had his arms wrapped around your waist peppering kisses all over your neck and shoulder while Yuta looked on, not being able to do a thing about it.
————————————————————————
The team decided to head out for dinner the next day, and something in Jeno had switched. After Yuta had watched him cuddle you until the day was over, you barely even got the chance to talk to Yuta face to face since Jeno offered to take you home. He was being suspiciously clingy and you wondered if he suspected anything.
“You’re okay with sharing a pasta and plate of fries ?” Jeno smiled over at you, one hand rubbing your waist and the other holding up the wooden menu. You nodded and Jeno placed his order in with Johnny who was doing the rounds for everyone. Yuta sat across from you and you could feel his stare on you from time to time, and the moments it felt like he was staring, Jeno’s grip on your waist got tighter.
“Is...is something wrong ?” you leaned into Jeno as he took a sip of his water. Even though he was smiling, his jaw was clenched signaling that he was trying to suppress himself from doing or saying something. “I'm just really tired” he rubbed your back and to your surprise leaned in to capture your lips. It was innocent but your lack of effort to mind his feelings wasn't good enough for Yuta. Frankly he had no idea where you two stood at the moment, for all he knew you could be playing him right now. It probably wasn't the case though, but Yuta was not really used to his life getting a happy ending. The night drove on and the group split with you, Ten, Doyoung, Taeyong and Renjun seated at the table while the rest of the guys were hanging around the bar babysitting their drinks. Jeno was really a changed man since high school. He was so confident, well-built and a good socialite with the team. You watched him lean against the bar counter, drink in hand entertaining whatever story Lucas had for the night.
“So you and y/n huh ? Have you scored yet ?” Lucas raised his brow cheekily to which Jeno chuckled and shook his head, “Really Lucas ? were talking about my sex life now ?” Yuta was in conversation with Johnny and Sungchan but he couldn't help but overhear your name in the chat next to him.
“Yeah man, I'm sure she’s good too after locking down my boy Yuta” Lucas smirked and Yuta flinched when the boisterous man grabbed onto his shoulder and pulled him into the conversation. “Even though they hate each other I just know they had the best hook ups” Lucas laughed despite Johnny trying to make him shut up.
“Well that’s all over now” Jeno’s eyes narrowed on Yuta before looking up at Lucas, “she invited me over tonight and considering the type of pictures she sent me, i'm guessing it’s going to be one hell of a night.” Yuta’s chest felt tight not only at the possibility that you may have invited him over to finally sleep with him but mainly because of the way Jeno spoke about you. He probably only shared that information to appease Lucas but hinting at you sending him nudes was not something you would like the guys to know about.
“She’s really been trying to speed up the process between us too it's cute actually” Jeno continued as Yangyang and Lucas egged him on, “that night after that painting you guys did for Mark Lee she was practically begging me to fuck her after our movie date. God if my brother didn't give me all those errands I would've done so right on the kitchen counter.”
Yuta shot back the rest of his drink and stormed off as Lucas and Yangyang hyped up Jeno, pouring him another shot and laughing erratically in their drunken state. From where you were seated you saw Yuta storm off and watched Johnny run after him worriedly, making you slightly anxious.
“Yuta don't listen to them man '' Johnny huffed as he finally caught up to his friend a few blocks down from the restaurant. “I dont fucking care man I really dont” Yuta chuckled dryly and ran his fingers through his hair, “It doesnt matter because at the end of the day im still the worthless piece of shit and guys like him are God fucking sent.” Johnny watched Yuta’s expression change and he turned around to find you standing there, desperately looking between them for context.
“Yuta what happened ?” you asked in a small voice and the familiar sting in his chest returned, hearing you call out his name, following him out here while Jeno was still inside, it was all just confusing to him.
“I thought you giving us a week meant you felt the same way and I could finally relax knowing you were going to be with me y/n” Yuta groaned in frustration while Johnny took a step away from the heated exchange. You shook your head as you approached him, “yes I did, so what's the problem ?” Yuta scoffed and folded his arms. “What's the problem ? doesn't look like anything’s changed y/n. I have to see you act like the couple of the year after telling you how I felt about you ? That's brilliant.”
“I told you I would speak to him this week” you snapped, unbothered by the now random onlookers who were concerned at the scene taking place. “But fine honestly Yuta if you really want me to say it you have my permission to fuck some random girl until im finally free.” You rolled your eyes about to turn on your heels to leave when you felt a tug on your wrist and Yuta pulled you into a kiss. He held your face in his hands as he kissed you passionately, sighing as he slowly pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours,
“When I said I loved you I fucking meant it y/n, I only want you. But please, if youre going to invite him over or send him dirty...pictures atleast tell him not to tell the whole fucking world about it.”
You took a step back and frowned at his words, “What ? What pictures ?”
“The ones he told Lucas about, y/n honestly I don't care I was just mad that he was airing your business out like that” Yuta bit down on his lip and yet again you were deeply confused as to what he was on about.
“I...I didn't send him anything” you responded, “I didn't invite him over tonight and I definitely haven't sent him any...nudes.”
“Tell that to him then”
You turned around and noticed most of the team was now outside watching the commotion go down and right in front was Jeno, who by the look on his face had most likely seen the kiss you just shared with Yuta.
Jeno approached the both of you with an irritated groan and scoffed, “I was going to ignore the signs but God I was so right, you were still fucking him this entire time ?” You lowered your head and Yuta glared at Jeno, “If you knew all this time why didn't you just break up with her and move on ?”
Jeno rolled his eyes and took a step closer to Yuta to which Johnny quickly responded by placing a firm hand on Jeno’s shoulder making sure the boy was at safe distance from his best friend.
“I'm not like you Yuta” Jeno licked his lips, “unlike you I respect her, I understand that she was going back to you because you like to play around, you never cared about her until I showed up. You were threatened by the fact that you were no longer in control of her.”
“Nobody is in control of me first of all” you chimed in, “and second what’s this about me inviting you over and sending you nudes that apparently the whole fucking bar knows about”
“It's just banter y/n” Jeno shook his head.
“Banter ?” Yuta repeated, “didnt know talking about how you were going to fuck your girlfriend on the kitchen counter in front of her coworkers is banter.”
“What?” you walked up to Jeno, “W-where is this coming from Jeno ? you’re not like this.”
“Well how am I supposed to be y/n ?” Jeno raised his voice, “you wouldn't mind if he said that to you. You're always letting him get away with shit. Im the one sitting around here knowing my damn girlfriend is fucking around with someone else yet somehow still trying to forgive you and figure this out.”
“Why, though ?” you shrugged, “Is it because you want to prove to other people that you're the bigger person ?”
“Would you rather be with someone like him ? someone who will probably throw you aside after he’s bored, or someone like me who was always patient, always willing to put you first no matter what” Jeno reached for your hand, his eyes widening when you shrugged him off.
“Someone who I barely know that talks about me to my friends like im just some kind of whore or someone i've known for a while and not once shared anything intimate that happened between us,” you looked over at Yuta, “It was my one rule, the same rule I gave you Jeno and he was, Yuta is the only one who has abided to it.”
“y/n Im sorry,” Jeno lowered his voice, “we hurt each other and I want to fix that, just make your final decision...me or Yuta”
“Jeno….I apologize for using you, I'm sorry for leading and hurting your feelings” you began and Yuta slowly shook his head and turned around ready to hear the bad news that always seemed to follow him,
“But as crazy as it may sound to everyone here, I'm most like myself when I'm with Yuta, I love the person I am when I'm around him” Yuta turned at your words and instead of the sting he felt a sense of warmth. Hearing you say that in front of everyone who wanted the two of you apart, besides Johnny ofcourse, was absolute bliss.
“Who knows maybe it won't work and it will explode but I really want to try, that's the thing I'm most sure of, I really really want to try” you smiled as Yuta made his way over to you and pulled you into a tight hug.
“Let's get out of here” Yuta whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek and draping his arm over your shoulder as the two of you exited the street walking away from the mess and not even giving it a second glance.
The two of you ended up at your apartment full of smiles and giggles as you slowly discarded your clothes on the way to the bedroom. Once your back touched your soft duvet covers Yuta pressed his body against yours and peppered your skin with kisses all the way up to your ear. “I want to try something different” he whispered and you nodded in response while Yuta pulled his shirt over his head and discarded his jeans. Yuta pulled you on top of his body and returned to your lips, kissing you slowly and passionately. His touches were so delicate and nurturing that every time his fingers ran down your back you felt butterflies in your stomach. You unhooked your bra shimmied out of it, still attached to the addictive taste of Yuta’s lips. He slowly rolled you onto your back and left soft kisses all the way down your neck, down the valley of your breasts until he reached your abdomen. You watched as he pulled your underwear off, looking at your body like it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. That was it. Instead of lust he looked at you with love. He looked like he wanted to take care of you, be gentle with you, savour every moment he had with you. Your breathing hitched when you quickly realized that he inserted himself inside of you and used one arm to steady himself on the bed as he lent down to meet your lips. His strokes were slow but sharp, digging his nails into your thigh from time to time, preventing himself from losing control. Wanting to feel more of him you signaled that you wanted to switch positions and Yuta licked his lips as he watched you place your knees on either side of him and sit down on his member. “F-fuck” he cursed as you began to ride him, keeping to his wishes of keeping things calm and slow. Yuta wrapped his arms tightly around your waist as the two of you kissed in between your moans, twirling your tongue with his as your hips slammed into his.
“Y-Yuta…” you moaned, feeling a tear escape your eye as the long night and the building orgasm caught up with you.
“Yes baby ?” he hummed in your ear.
“I really fucking love you” you sighed, just the words finally leaving your mouth made you sob with joy. It felt so fucking good to finally say it out loud.
Yuta responded by flipping you onto your back and chased both his and your orgasm, fucking you with his usual intensity until you came and he followed straight after, filling the room with heavy pants and both of you trying to catch your breath.
“I love you too y/n” He finally said, bringing you to his chest and pressed his lips against your forehead.
The two of you lay in your bed both napping for a bit until the first sight of dawn began filling the bedroom. You winced at the sun and hid your face in Yuta’s arms as he grinned at your actions.
“I don't want to go to work!” you grumbled.
“Fuck go to work after all the drama you caused ?” Yuta pinched your cheek playfully, earning a nudge in his side from you.
“Anyway” Yuta continued, “I got an email from Taeyong and he said if we want we can work remotely, he gave us the Okinawa project.” You sat up in bed and turned to face him, “the Okinawa project ? Its 9 months in Japan, the same project the whole damn building was trying to get” you blinked, still unsure if Yuta was just fucking with you.
“That's the one” Yuta shrugged, “anyways he said he was going to send either of us anyway since he knows we always get the job done. Oh and he actually said something really funny actually”
“What ?” you raised your brow and watched Yuta reread the text message on his phone.
“He said Doyoung was the one who suggested the two of us be the ones to go, who would've thought ?” Yuta closed the messages and tucked himself back into bed.
“Yeah” you smiled, “Who would've thought.”
THE END
815 notes · View notes
tons-of-vball-huns · 2 years
Note
could u maybe do a post thats kenma x male reader (or gender neutral, whatever you’re comfortable with !!) where the reader and kenma are hanging out together at kenmas house, and the reader realizes they like him bc he asks to hold their face bc their eyes are so pretty <3 idk just rlly wholesome cutsey affectionate non sexual face holding
like hand on ur cheeks <3 and like kenma asks to hug the reader bc they get really uncomfortable w hugs but they feel okay to get hugged that day
i hope youre having a good day, and if you’re not, hopefully you find time to do something u enjoy :)
sorry my brain is scattered 😭/gen
[a/n: wait that sounds so cute! i have to do this asap because Y E S. thanks for the request, anon! also, i’m making it a gn!reader because that’s kinda like how it usually go about it and i changed it a tiny bit. btw, sorry for being late! love you, keep being you <3]
requests are open! i might be a bit late with the posting because my sat is coming up this saturday.
request is below the cut!
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starring: k. kenma
type: fluff. fluffy fluffy fluff
warnings/others: unhealthy sleeping habits. weird formatting. commas galore. intended lowercase. use of “heck” and “hell”.
wc: 793 words
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fun fact: kenma gets clingy and weirdly cuddly when he’s feeling tired or sleepy and even sleeps while cuddling a large dog plushie. he also takes the brain filter out and just says what he says without a thought and, in his opinion, acted like a drunk person.
fun fact: he would rather die miserably than let other people know about this. he hides the dog inside a suitcase whenever he leaves his room and has even made an elaborate plan to escape to brazil and start his life over if anyone gets even a single clue.
and if we extrapolate this data and think with common sense? you didn’t know either.
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after a long day of school, you decided the best course of action was to just follow kenma home and hang out. it was a friday, and your family went out of town for the weekend, so you didn’t have to worry about returning home on time. besides, you’ve been hanging out forever, you knew no one would even bat an eye.
the two of you decided to play some video games to pass the time.
and that is how you ended up staying up until 7:37am.
one thing about kenma is that although he can easily get up at 2am to play, he has almost zero experience of staying up that long in at least 5 years. and coupled with the day before being an extra-long day — you had to write over 3 pages of notes for one class, had to run 5 laps for pe, and volleyball practice was extended until 5:30pm. he even woke up at 3am the night before to play on his console. he was rightfully more exhausted than usual.
kenma seemed to be weirder than usual to you now. he could barely keep his eyes open now, but neither could you, not after staying up for longer than 24 hours, so that definitely wasn’t it. was it the way he-
kenma placed his controller down and moved a bit closer to you, “wanna hug. can i hug you, (name)?”
you stared at him for a second. yeah, he was definitely acting strange, but he looked absolutely adorable in your opinion. his hands were outstretched, his eyes bleary and barely open, slightly furrowed brows, the tiniest hint of a pout on his cute, pink, kissable li- huh? no. where was your mind going to? you shook your head, “sure? i don’t really mind.”
“i’m happy you said you didn’t mind,” kenma muttered, nuzzling into your neck. “you always said you didn’t really like them so i was a bit worried you wouldn’t wanna.”
you awkwardly patted his back once, twice. this felt like a hallucination, what the heck was even happening? kenma never seemed to be the type to ask for hugs — usually, it was kuroo who was the one who asked for hugs. and you usually weren’t entirely comfortable with hugs, so why the hell did you say you “didn’t really mind”? and why was your cheek a little… warm? the ac was on full-blast, it doesn’t make sense! staying up for 24+ hours does some things to you.
beside you, kenma had stopped snuggling into your neck and moved a tiny bit farther, “hey hey (name)? is it alright if i… hold your face?” he noticed the puzzled look on your face, “it’s just that… your eyes look pretty, like super pretty. i wanna take a closer look. so can i?”
you tentatively nodded your head a little, still super confused. kenma’s face broke into a cute little smile as he shuffled closer to you and put his hands on your cheeks and pulled your face closer, his hands squishing your cheeks in the process. his hands felt incredibly cold against your warm, warm cheeks. you let out an involuntary shiver at the different temperatures.
“woahhh. so pretty, (name). your eyes look really pretty. i wanna keep looking at them forever,” he said, transfixed by your eyes.
you honestly thought your eyes weren’t all that special — you saw them daily so they kinda lost their appeal to you. maybe that was why you felt that feeling in your chest and stomach — fluttering, fluttering, fluttering like pretty little butterflies —, you never thought they looked pretty so maybe that’s why felt so flustered, your cheeks turning warmer, warmer, warmer? or maybe — you looked into kenma’s warm, excited eyes as he was squishing your cheeks and giggling and rambling about your “beautiful eyes” and how much he loved them — was it because it was him?
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three months later, you still loved to tease him about that moment, watching his cheeks turn scarlet in an instant. but however embarrassing it was for him, he was glad it happened.
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297 notes · View notes
zukuist · 3 years
Text
sleep coordinates [hcs]
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“how they sleep at night, and also how they sleep with you in their arms”
fandom/s: 僕のヘロアカデミア // boku no hero academia (bnha)
includes: h. shinsō, e. kirishima, k. bakugō
your name is shortened to y/n, gender neutral!
note: school has been a bitch to me sooo.. here’s my “im sorry for not posting for 9 days” gift, i’ll try posting again tomorrow!
shinsō hitoshi
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man has tried everything to get at least 6 hours of sleep. his sleep schedule is not consistent
asmr, exercising to the point that he’d drop out of exhaustion, a humidifier, even the melatonin gummies stopped working on him after a while
i mean.. considering the pretty dark circles he has, and the tired look he’s always wearing
anyone could take an accurate guess on how much he’s actually sleeping per night.
so when you both finally got together after some pining, you were determined to make him sleep like a lil baby
which works (surprise!) turns out he finds it really comforting to be holding something while he slept even though he refuses to buy a body pillow
hitoshi usually sleeps in some regular pajama pants with cat prints, and a sweater/tank top
you were the first one to find out that he had such cute pajama pants!
hitoshi at first, sleeps lightly.
but when hitoshi sleep sleeps, he sleeps hard. like.. not even bakugō’s explosions could wake him up, especially when he finds himself having a decent sleep
he’s usually the big spoon, like i said, he finds it comforting to just hold something or someone
he doesn’t mind being the small spoon, but the idea of you cuddling him like thay makes him all shy and it’s cute to see
aside from spooning, another position he really likes is you on top on him.
like.. he could be sleeping with his back on the bed, sort of like how soldiers sleep, and you could be crushing him with your body weight
and he wouldn’t care. he finds it very cute just seeing you slightly move up and down because of his breathing (please i hope this makes sense)
hitoshi’s a tough one when it comes to adjusting his sleep schedule, but after some time, he has grown to appreciate your effort
despite hating it at first, because you forced him to sleep before 2am
kirishima eijirō
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sleeps well after 8, but nothing after 1 am. he sleeps pretty decent
but..
he moves a lot in his sleep!
sleeps like he’s an animal hibernating, but moves around like a shark.
changes positions every 5 minutes, and he’s not conscious to notice it himself until you recorded an hour time lapse of him just.. changing sleeping positions
he’s probably aware just a bit that he shifts a lot in his sleep but.. not the very extent of how much he thrashes around in his sleep
usually sleeps with a plain white t-shirt with some sweatpants, or if it’s hot, he’ll ditch the shirt entirely
he doesn’t mind sleeping shirtless! i mean.. have you seen his hero costume? man’s shirtless!
he’s prefers to be the big spoon, he just can’t help himself!
but when you wake up, you’re the big spoon. and eijirō’s nearly hanging onto the bed
that’s why, it’s quite chaotic to be sleeping in the same bed as him, and what in a sleepover with the bakusquad?
bakugō woke up in the middle of the night to roll him on the floor because kirishima stuck his feet in his face while he was sleeping
another position he really enjoys is you facing him, and him having your face directly onto his chest.
because it’s the only position that keeps you in his arms the entire night.
he was quite hesitant at first, because he was afraid that hugging you tightly would activate his quirk somehow, but you said that it wouldn’t
and.. you don’t really mind waking up with your face in his chest. the thought itself isn’t terrible.
bakugō katsuki
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goes to bed around 9:30 and wakes up just a little bit before 8:30. i don’t make the rules
actually.. he’ll make some exceptions for the 9:30 rule occasionally.
like the time he was still secretly pining on you, and it came to the point that he ended up staying up until 11pm just.. thinking!
but you’ll never catch him being up at 2am, nope. those are the dark hours of the night.
compared to the other two, he sleeps quite moderately. of course, the smallest movements won’t wake him up.
but if you like.. wring him out of the bed, he’ll definitely wake up
i feel like after kamino, he experienced nightmares at least bi-monthly. they used to be so aggressive, but after he started sharing the same bed as you
it has gotten better. he won’t thank you out loud, but he’ll definitely thank you in a different way.
sleeps in a tank top, and some sweatpants or some shorts and not the really short ones.
but he likes to tease you whenever he finds you gawking at him whenever he takes off his shirt, so he’ll mess with you by sleeping shirtless
just because he can ✨
regarding on who’s the big spoon and who’s the small spoon, he’ll opt to being the big spoon
but once he starts feeling vunerable, he’ll allow you to be the bigger spoon, despite his protests and complains.
another position he doesn’t mind is being buried in your chest, as your hand is tangled with his.
no, it’s nowhere near being explicit, he just finds himself listening to you breathe at the dead of the night.
in short, ugh </3
© zukuist 2021, bnha|mha belongs to horikoshi kohei, do not steal my work ❕
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oh-ranpo · 3 years
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i’ll be there.
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pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader summary: the one where bucky just needs someone to talk to. word count: 3.4k+
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It started with a phone call. 
It was late, and you were almost asleep when your phone started buzzing restlessly on the nightstand next to your head. You didn’t bother checking the caller id as you reached for the receiver and lifted it to your ear, hitting the accept button in the process.
“‘llo?” you greeted groggily, but you were met with silence. Your brows furrowed slightly as you pulled the phone away from your ear to see who was calling, and your heart stuttered in your chest when you saw Bucky’s name lit up on your screen. It wasn’t like him to call so late. It wasn’t like him to call at all. “Buck?” You pressed. “Bucky, are you alright?” 
You could feel a pressure on your chest as you waited for a response, and finally, after a couple more seconds, you heard a heavy breath release on the other end of the line.
“I’m sorry it’s late. I probably shouldn’t have called, I just… I didn’t know what else to do.” You weren’t entirely sure what he meant by that, but despite the fact that it was already well past 2am, you weren’t going back to sleep anytime soon.
“Don’t apologize, I just wasn’t expecting to hear from you,” you murmured as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position before leaning back against the headboard of your bed. “What’s going on?”
That first phone call, he didn’t say a lot. You could tell that he really just needed someone to keep him company to help distract him from the thoughts and nightmares that were swirling through his head, and you really didn’t mind being the one to provide it. You and Bucky had been friends for a while, but you had never considered that you might be the one he went to when he didn’t know where else to turn. That had always been Steve, and now, you assumed that would be Sam. It made the most sense anyways. And yet, you were the one that found themselves listening to his gentle breathing as you waited for him to share what was on his mind.
You thought that it was just a one time thing at first, but then, you started receiving phone calls at all hours of the night a couple of times a week. Sometimes, it’d be earlier - around 9pm or so - and sometimes, it’d be just as the sun was rising and the ringtone of your phone would wake you up just before your alarm had the chance to.
“Please, don’t feel like you have to keep answering,” Bucky pleaded one morning when he just received a simple sleepy grunt as a greeting. “I know it isn’t fair of me to keep waking you up like this.” But really, you didn’t mind at all. 
Your life was pretty calm, and while you did have to go to work, starting your day or ending your night with a conversation with a friend wasn’t something that you had a problem with. The only time his phone calls came late into the night was on the weekends when he knew that you wouldn’t have to be anywhere the next day, despite the fact that you told him to call you whenever he needed someone. You weren’t about to cast him aside just because you might feel a little groggy the next morning. 
It took him a couple of hour long silent phone calls before he started sharing some of the reasons for why he was in need of company in the first place. Mostly, it had to do with the nightmares. He would never share specific details, but you were able to gather enough from the little tidbits he would share that they had to do with his Winter Soldier days. Your heart ached in ways you couldn’t explain as you tried to imagine what that might have been like - to be a stranger in your own body, and have to relive the memories of something you did but couldn’t stop. He didn’t say it, but you knew that seeing those people and seeing what happened, it broke him a little bit each time. They were things he could never take back, lives that he could never save, and it was eating him alive. You didn’t know how he did it.
While he talked, you listened quietly, and when he would fall silent, you would remind him that the Winter Soldier was gone, and that he wasn’t him anymore. The freedom he had gained during his time in Wakanda was the beginning of his new story, and that things would get better. The scoff that filled your ear told you that he didn’t believe you, and for the moment, that was okay. You knew that it would take a while of convincing before he believed you, and you were more than willing to stay patient enough until he did. That’s what friends were for, and if he was going to allow you on this journey with him, you intended to see it through.
Once the floodgates opened, the phone calls started coming more regularly and at a more set time. Every night, your phone would light up at 9pm, and every time, you knew who was on the other end of the line. When you answered, Bucky would greet you, his voice sounding a bit lighter each day, and you would let him dictate how the conversation would go from there. 
Even though you weren’t sitting across from him, you could usually tell how things were going to play out depending on the tone of his voice and the speed of his speech. If he was quiet and didn’t say much, you knew that he was having a bad day. If he started telling you about something that had happened to him earlier in the day, you knew that he was feeling a little more peaceful. It was the little things that you picked up on, and those little things helped you better communicate with him. You were never pushy. You never pressed for answers that he didn’t want to give, and you found that, usually, he would eventually give them to you if you were just patient enough.
“You probably think I’m crazy, don’t you?” Bucky chuckled dryly one night, about a month into your new phone call routine. You were sitting at the dining room counter, a cup of hot cocoa warming the palm of your left hand as you held your phone to your ear with your right. For a moment, your lips downturned in a small frown at his question.
“Why would I think that?” You asked gently, and you could hear Bucky sigh. 
“Why wouldn’t you? I’m a 106 year old man who can’t seem to function properly in the real world. and I still need someone to chase away my monsters when the sun goes down.” The vulnerability in his voice made your stomach churn as you leaned forward against the counter, bracing yourself for the direction the conversation was now heading.
“What happened to you doesn’t make you crazy, Bucky. You are not the product of your circumstances, you are James Buchanan Barnes and you always have been. So, no, I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re doing the best you can.” You couldn’t see the small smile that formed on Bucky’s lips as his eyes went glassy, but you could hear the small, murmured ‘thank you’ in response. You still weren’t sure if he believed a word you said, but you hoped that your words brought him at least a little bit of comfort. 
After that particular night, things took another turn. You never told anyone about the phone calls that you and Bucky shared because you saw them as something private. If he wanted to share it with people, he could, but you didn’t feel like it was your place. He was trusting you with what little vulnerability he was willing to show, and you weren’t going to give anyone else any unwanted access to that side of him. You just thought that you were being a reliable friend by picking up the phone and listening. So, imagine your surprise when, less than a week later, instead of your phone ringing at 9pm like it usually did, there was a knock on your front door.
At first, you were a little annoyed that someone would be stopping by just when you were expecting Bucky to call you. While you didn’t tell anyone about the calls, you still looked forward to them. You loved hearing his voice or just knowing that he was sitting on the other end of the line. The conversations you shared had brought the two of you inexplicably closer, even though you could see it if you were watching the two of you together in public. You thought about ignoring it, but when a second, lighter tap filled the room, you knew that you had to at least see who it was. You could lie and say that you were getting ready for bed and ask them to come back later. It was 9pm, surely they’d understand. Only, when you moved to open the door, you were surprised by who you saw standing on the other side.
Bucky gave you a sheepish look as he stood in your doorway, a pair of dark-wash jeans and a leather jacket adorning his body. He lifted his right hand to rub the back of his neck nervously, and you could tell that he was uncomfortable standing there, as if he was unsure whether you would be happy to see him or not.
“I hope it’s okay that I stopped by,” he murmured softly. “I know I usually call but I was in the neighborhood and I-“ 
Bucky stopped mid-sentence when you stepped to the side and gestured for him to come inside. A look of relief filled his features as you gave him a welcoming smile and allowed him to step around you before closing the door behind him. 
“You’re always welcome here, Buck,” you grinned as you led him down the hallway and towards your living room. “You should know that by now.”
Bucky hadn’t really planned to stop by your apartment, but in the moment, it had just felt right. He had been walking the streets, trying to clear his mind, and his feet had led him here, to the doorstep of the one person who seemed the most capable at keeping his dark thoughts at bay.
Like with the phone calls, Bucky sat silently on your couch at first, his gaze shifting from a random spot on the wall across from him to his gloved hands. You watched, and then tried to focus on something else when you felt he might become uncomfortable with your staring. You hadn’t expected him to ever move past the late night phone calls, but having him sitting next to you now gave you hope that maybe things were getting better.
It wasn’t that things were getting better, it turned out, it was just that Bucky had really begun to trust you. You broke down walls that only Steve Rogers had ever managed to climb over before, and he found it easier to open up to you than Sam, and especially his therapist. You were an objective third party in all of this. You weren’t an Avenger and you hadn’t been put in the same situations that he had so you were able to give him a new perspective. Sure, you didn’t understand the trauma or the guilt that swirled inside of him, but you always seemed to say or do the right things that helped silence it, if even for a couple of hours.
Eventually, Bucky would just start talking about his day and he would ask about yours. The conversation would stay light, and often, he’d leave without touching on some of the deeper things that he usually talked about on the phone. You figured this was because sitting in front of someone and saying those things was far more intimate than saying it through the phone. He didn’t have to see your face and you didn’t see his when he opened up the darkest parts of his mind, so you understood. Either way, you were enjoying his company, and judging by the fact that he kept coming back, you could only assume that he had truly grown to enjoy yours as well.
In those lighter conversations, you could start to see a part of Bucky that you hadn’t really seen at all in the couple of years that you had been friends. He had always had a little edge to him - a hard exterior so that the outside world couldn’t get in and nothing inside of him could get out. However, after about a week of his nightly visits, you could see the tension in his shoulders was gone, and he would lean back against the couch in a far more relaxed way than he ever had before. A smile would form on his lips when he would reminisce on young Steve memories or when he shared something stupid Sam had done on one of their missions. The Winter Soldier was a mere blip in his memory during those nights, and you felt lucky that you were the one that got to see the slow change first-hand. You had also started feeling other things for the man you considered a friend, but you knew it wasn’t the time or place to investigate that any further.
“This is nice,” Bucky murmured one evening on one of his better and more upbeat visits. “It’s nice to sit here and just relax, you know? There hasn’t been a lot of peace lately, and…” His voice trailed off as you could see a cloudy look fill his eyes. You watched as he seemed to lose himself in his thoughts for a moment, but then he was able to pull himself back as he shook his head slightly and his gaze fell to his hands. “It just feels kinda normal.”
Your heart lurched in your chest at his words, and you had to stop yourself from reaching out for him. 
“Hanging out with a friend is normal, Buck,” you replied gently. “It doesn’t matter what time of day or how it’s done.” 
Slowly, Bucky lifted his eyes back to meet yours, and there was something in his expression that you couldn’t quite track. Sam always teased him about his scowl and his staring, but this time, it wasn’t anything like that. It was more open and you could see a mixture of sadness, relief, and maybe… hope? You couldn’t be sure.
“Everyone needs a friend like you,” you heard him mumble as he turned away, and your heart thundered in your chest as you had to hide your smile behind your hand. 
You lost track of how many nights in a row he had started coming over, and eventually, it almost became implied that he was going to stay. You didn’t exactly live close to one another, and as the two of you stayed up later and later, and you hated the idea of him walking across the city back to his apartment when it was so late.
“You can stay here,” you offered when a small yawn slipped through his lips and you caught sight of the time on the clock on the wall. “I have a spare bedroom.”
Bucky had looked at you skeptically for a moment, and you weren’t sure that he was going to accept. You knew that the nightmares played a factor, but it only made sense to you that he be in a place where he would feel safe should he have one. You didn’t say as much, but you hoped that he would have the same thought as you.
“I can sleep on the couch,” he replied, and while you wanted to insist that he sleep somewhere more comfortable, you didn’t push it. You had seen his apartment and knew where he slept, and you would let him choose his own level of comfort while staying with you.
After that, the two of you became practically inseparable. Your friendship took on a whole new meaning as you hung out in the mornings, evenings, and any time that you weren’t at work or he wasn’t busy with other things. He would stay at your apartment religiously, and it almost began to feel like you had a roommate after a while. A roommate that preferred sleeping on the couch to a regular bed, anyways. You knew that Bucky didn’t want to impose, but you never gave him a reason to feel like he was. You made him feel welcome, and you always made sure that he knew that you didn’t mind sharing your space with him.
“So, how long has it been?”
Sam had come over to your apartment that evening for a nice homemade dinner that you had offered to make, and while him and Bucky sat on the couch while you finished things up, Sam had posed the question. 
It wasn’t like your new bond was a secret. Anytime anyone was around the two of you, they could see it. They could see the way Bucky lit up around you, and they could sense the comfort and reassurance that rolled off of you every time you spoke to him. To some, it could seem like a normal friendship, but knowing how Bucky was when it came to letting people in, those that knew him knew that whatever was happening was something special.
“How long has what been?” Bucky asked, annoyance slipping into his tone as he replied. Sam looked over at him and gave him a knowing look.
“How long has it been since you’ve felt like this about someone? And before you say you don’t know what I’m talking about, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Instinctively, Bucky glanced over his shoulder towards the direction of the kitchen where he could hear you moving around. A smile quirked up the corner of his lips as he thought about the last couple of months and how close the two of you had gotten. He couldn’t deny that his heart had become quite invested, but he also knew that was a dangerous situation to find himself in, so he never brought it up.
“It’s been a long time,” he answered honestly, even though he didn’t really want to dive much deeper than that. “If ever.”
Sam’s eyebrows rose at Bucky’s response, and almost immediately, a smirk formed on his face. Bucky rolled his eyes as he looked away, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sam’s smile soften.
“Does it scare you? I mean, I know that has to be a lot.”
Bucky sighed as he focused on his hands - no longer gloved and hidden away - as he tried to piece his thoughts together. He knew that he probably should be scared, especially with everything he knew about love and caring for another person. However, it just wasn’t there this time.
“With her?” He started before lifting his head to meet Sam’s gaze once more. “Not at all. For the first time, with this one thing, I’m not scared at all.”
He could tell by the look on Sam’s face that he hadn’t expected that response, but before he could say anything more, you entered the room and all of Bucky’s attention was stolen away from him. Bucky moved to stand up as you told them both that dinner was ready. You could tell from the way the air felt around them that they had been talking about something important, but neither one of them offered to share what it was. As Bucky moved passed you, he dropped a kiss to your temple as he thanked you, and his arm snaked around your waist for a quick side-hug before he guided you back towards the dining room.
It was easy. The slow transition from hesitant late night phone calls to whatever was happening now was so seamless, you could hardly believe there was a time where things weren’t like this. When you looked at Bucky now, you saw a man with a traumatic past who was moving forward towards a better future. If you asked him, he would say it was only because you had been there to help, but you couldn’t take that much credit. Everything he had done, he had done because he wanted to. You were just the lucky one who got to be there to celebrate with him when he finally came out on the other side. 
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chaoticfandomcat · 2 years
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Where Will They Stop?
@wolfcamellias I wrote a sequel to Round and Round They Go
It was like 2am and the thought bubble came to me and then *waves hand at word doc* this happened. 
By this logic chances are there is going to be a 3rd to finish off the saying. That wasn’t even planned the first title was a joke on circles
They couldn’t even plead the 5th that’s not a thing there. Remember everyone, don’t drink coffee and redbull even if it taste like a jollyrancher. 
(About 1.3k words for people who wish to know)
“Are you sure he won’t mind us doing this?”
“He told us if we wanted to continue on our own we could”
“Well yeah but…. I don’t think even he’d expect EVERYONE to show up”
“This is why you don’t send it in the group chat”
“You aren’t even in our section!”
“Hey we also talked about it in ours not too long ago too!”
A book slamming against the table making the students within the room jump. Eyes turned towards the source of the senior, the unofficial leader by proxy of being the best at adulting, as they sighed and slouched down into a chair.
“No fighting. Same rules as in class.”
“Right. Sorry”
“Yeah…sorry…”
“Besides if people here weren’t open to the discussion they wouldn’t have shown up just,” They waved a hand to the large group within the, admittingly, large conference room they were able to snag, “Get started I guess?”
“Uhm…right so…” Nervous eyes bounced around the room as heads turned towards them, “I guess we should first re-establish the basic sides…left for yes, right for no. Did the Monkey King deserve the circlet?”
Chairs shifted and scrapped across the floor as everyone moved to their sides. Some even sliding over the top of the table. Many were hesitating in which side they wanted, and the overall grouping being oddly divided for a topic that originally had stark contrast in answers.
“Do you…think that’s the right question?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean….he both did and did not deserve it.”
“How can he both deserve and not deserve it? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Well I. I mean. I…”
“Go on, it’s an open discussion don’t worry.”
“He deserved it in that…something had to teach him. He learned really quickly but, he was also very. Whimsical. The circlet was a constant deterrent.”
“He did leave the minute the monk and him got into an argument. Probably would have again without the circlet.”
“That doesn’t mean he deserved it! The mountain should have been punishment enough without needing to atone.”
“That’s,” The original student spoke up stuttering a little but bringing attention back to them, “That’s what I mean though too… He didn’t deserve the times it was used on him.”
“The journey was as much of a learning experience as it was atonement really.” Eyes were drawn to the speaker, some in confusion, some thinking on the words, and others nodding in agreement. “For each of the pilgrims really. Except maybe the monk but I would put that as a different debate what his would have been.”
“Huh. It kind of was, wasn’t it? The horse, or dragon which I wish did more,” scattered sounds of agreement followed the statement, “learned discipline by having to stay as a horse carrying the monk around.”
“And the pig demon working on his laziness.”
“The river one on his temper!”
“And of course the Monkey King on his whimsicalness.”
“Okay so the journey was also a lesson but was the circlet really needed? Its use was barely ever done as intended.”
“I mean, besides what we talked about I don’t think the monk had known either before giving it to the Monkey King.”
“That and he had to vow never to use the tightening spell after the Monkey King left that one time.”
“So I pose the same question I asked in class then,” Other conversations where hushed as all attention was brought to the question, “What else would have worked?”
“Practically invincible, 5 times over or so immortal, and tons of battle experience and time spent under that mountain? Probably nothing.”
“Oh come on, you can give it a little more than that. Plus there’s a second part to this all,” They waited, sweeping the room with their gaze letting the tension build, “What else would the Monkey King have understood.”
“Understood? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean. He learned from being punished for his actions. He was expecting punishment but didn’t think there would be anything they could do to him.”
“You might be right… I mean he’d push the boundaries.”
“That and it never helped every appeasement attempt was left at the bare minimum.”
“Well the Heavens did need to keep up with his ever changing whims. I wouldn’t want to put a lot of effort into something that the person might suddenly not care about the next day.”
“Like the never-ending goal of being on trend.” A few laughs bubbled up from the students as the conversation lulled. People had slowly migrated closer to others they knew, and the groups looked more like one blob than two.
“Seriously though. It’s not like they couldn’t have just told him, but pain was the easiest for him to understand.”
“It also insured he would stay since there wasn’t any proximity requirement.”
“I’m sure there was, are, probably other ways but in terms of time crunch and otherwise hands off approach from the rest of the celestial deities it was the best.”
“You know. I think the question of if he deserved the circlet is wrong.”
“I thought there was no wrong question,” a few laughs and eyes rolls accompanied the statement, even as the original speaker pressed on.
“I’m serious! It’s not if he deserved the circlet itself, it’s if he deserved what it symbolized!”
“And what do you think it symbolizes?”
“Redemption! A second chance. I mean arguably Pigsy and Sandy had done worse, and they were given redemptions.”
“Oh like someone said in my class! He’s a trickster, and any time he was malicious someone had first been malicious to him!”
“That and, he was old compared to say human age but to celestial beings he was probably kind of young wasn’t he?”
“I wonder when the last time the celestial court had even gotten a new member. Being surrounded by people who have known the rules for centuries, or longer, tints the world a little.”
“Yeah yea. I bet they got so use to everyone there just knowing they hadn’t even thought about what Monkey King didn’t know.”
“That and the amount of ammo they gave him to cause troubles. I mean? The peaches? The festival? For how important it all was they really did underestimate the trouble he could cause.”
“Wait aren’t we getting off topic? Didn’t we assign a group to prevent that?”
All heads turned towards a group that had nestled itself into the back corner of the room. Mostly comprised of seniors, and a few juniors, who had taken on leadership and or role model positions around campus. The intention had been for them to help keep the peace and topic on track.
At least, that had been the intention.  
Instead, all of them had slumped against each other in various states of comfortable looking to ‘should that bend that way?’ and were otherwise sleeping peacefully even with all the noise they had made during the debate.
“Should we wake them?”
“Doesn’t one of them have a paper due tomorrow?”
“I think I saw that one drinking coffee and redbull from a thermos.”
“Guys just wake one of them up,” The exasperated speaker rolled their eyes and poked one of the students near the bottom of the pile. Their arms failed as it caused a chain reaction of various others falling over and more failing of limbs until it had one of them waking up shouting.
“MONKEY DILF”
Silence weighed down the room as each second seemed palpable before it all exploded into noise and questions on what that meant before another voice somehow broke through the din.
“Wasn’t he called grandpa?! Doesn’t that mean he’s a GILF?”
One awkward campus police conversation later had the students shuffling back to their various dorms, heads bowed low.
And furiously texting on their phone as they debated between DILF verses GILF before one message silenced them all. 
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 They had been texting in the official class group chat.
Not the one without their teacher.
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myfanwymusings · 3 years
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TAYLOR SWIFT / FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION)
These lyrics are from Taylor Swift’s 2021 re-recording of her 2008 sophomore album, Fearless. These lyrics may be modified to better fit roleplay purposes. Please note: every track from the new album has been included, except Love Story (Elvira Remix) and Forever & Always (Piano Version) due to their lyrics being duplicates of lyrics already in the album elsewhere.
FEARLESS
There's something 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained
I'm trying so hard not to get caught up
You're just so cool
I don't know how it gets better than this
With you I'd dance In a storm in my best dress
I wanna stay right here
I'm not usually this way
You pull me in and I'm a little more brave
FIFTEEN
Take a deep breath and walk through the doors
Try to stay out of everybody's way
You know, I haven't seen you around before
When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them
When someone tells you they love you, you’re going to believe them
We'll be outta here as soon as we can
All you wanted was to be wanted
All I wanted was to be wanted
Back then, I swore I was gonna marry him someday
I realized some bigger dreams of mine 
I've found time can heal most anything 
I didn't know who I was supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen  
LOVE STORY
We were both young when I first saw you
Hello
Stay away from Juliet
I’m begging you, please don't go
Please don't go.
Take me somewhere we can be alone
All there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It’s a love story, baby just say yes.
Baby, just say yes.
We're dead if they knew
They're trying to tell me how to feel 
This love is difficult, but it’s real
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess
I got tired of waiting 
My faith in you is fading
I’ve been so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head?
I don’t know what to think
Marry me, Juliet
You’ll never have to be alone
I love you, and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad
Go pick out a white dress
HEY STEPHEN
I know looks can be deceiving
I know I saw a light in you
I didn't say half the things I wanted to 
You might have me believing I don't always have to be alone
I can't help it if you look like an angel 
I wanna kiss you in the rain 
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you 
I can't help it if there's no one else
I can’t help myself
I've been holding back this feeling, so I got some things to say to you
I never seen nobody shine the way you do 
I've seen it all, so I thought
I think you and I should stay the same
Why aren't you here tonight?
I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose
All those other girls, well, they're beautiful but would they write a song for you?
WHITE HORSE
Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out just when you need it to 
I honestly believed in you
This ain't a fairytale 
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down 
Maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes 
I didn't know to be in love that you had to fight to have the upper hand 
I had so many dreams about you and me 
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well 
YOU BELONG WITH ME
She's going off about something that you said
She doesn't get your humor like I do 
What you're looking for has been here the whole time 
Why can't you see that you belong with me?
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be 
You've got a smile that could light up this whole town 
Hey, isn't this easy? 
You say you're fine but I know you better than that 
I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night 
All this time how could you not know?
Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me?
BREATHE (FEAT. COLBIE CALLAIT)
None of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
It's killing me to see you go after all this time
I don't know what to be without you around
We know it's never simple
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand 
I can't breathe without you, but I have to
I never wanted this, I never wanna see you hurt
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out 
It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend
TELL ME WHY
You might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not
You took a swing, I took it hard
Down here from the ground I see who you are
I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me, then cut me down 
You know you got a mean streak
I remember what you said last night
I know, that you see, what you're doing to me 
You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day
I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I got no one to believe in
You tell me that you want me, then push me around
Why do you have to make me feel small?
Why do you have to put down my dreams?
YOU’RE NOT SORRY
I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down
It's taken me this long, baby, but I've figured you out
You're thinking we'll be fine again, but not this time around
You don't have to call anymore 
This is the last straw 
I don't wanna hurt anymore
You can tell me that you're sorry but I don't believe you, baby, like I did before
You're not sorry
I might believe you if I didn't know
I could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold 
You've got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being last to know
You used to shine so bright, but I watched all of it fade
THE WAY I LOVED YOU
I couldn't ask for anything better
You look beautiful tonight
I feel perfectly fine 
I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2AM and I'm cursing your name 
I never knew I could feel that much 
You're so in love that you acted insane
He can't see the smile I'm faking
My heart's not breaking cause I'm not feeling anything at all
FOREVER & ALWAYS
Were you just kidding?
I don't feel welcome anymore
Baby, what happened? 
He still hasn't called
You feel so low you can't feel nothing at all
I was there when you said forever and always 
Was I out of line? 
Did I say something way too honest?
I thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure 
Where is this going?
Did you forget everything?
I don’t think so
You didn't mean it
THE BEST DAY
I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
You're not scared of anything at all
I know I had the best day with you today
How my friends could be so mean?
I don't know who I'm going to talk to now at school 
I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger 
You're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
I didn't know if you knew
CHANGE
I believe in whatever you do
I'll do anything to see it through 
These things will change
Can you feel it now? 
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
The time will come for us to finally win
So we've been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair
We're getting stronger
They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared
There's something in your eyes says we can beat this 
We never gave in
JUMP THEN FALL
I like the way you sound in the morning
Your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard
All I can think is we should be together
Don't be afraid to jump then fall
I'm never gonna leave you 
I'll catch you 
The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry 
I'll hold you through the night until you smile
Every time you smile, I smile
Every time you shine, I shine
UNTOUCHABLE
I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why
I'm caught up in you
When you're close, I feel like coming undone
Say that we'll be together 
I won't wait here all day 
I want to feel you by my side and standing next to me
COME IN WITH THE RAIN
I don't wanna go there anymore
I know all the steps up to your door but I don't wanna go there anymore
I'll leave my window open
I'm too tired at night to call your name
Just know I'm right here hoping that you'll come in with the rain
I could stand up and sing you a song but I don't wanna have to go that far 
I've got you down, I know you by heart and you don't even know where I start 
I don't know what else I can say 
I'm too tired at night for all these games 
SUPERSTAR
This is wrong but I can't help but feel like there ain’t nothing more right
I can't help but wish I could see your face 
I knew from the first note played I'd be breaking all my rules to see you
I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl who's desperately in love with you
Loneliness comes around when I'm not dreaming about you 
I knew when I saw your face I'd be counting down the ways to see you 
I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are 
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR
In the heat of the fight I walked away ignoring words that you were saying
This time I've had enough
I'm so mad I might tell you that it's over 
Leave
I'm in love with you
All I need is on the other side of the door 
I keep going back over things we both said 
If you know everything tell me why you couldn't see when I left, I wanted you to chase after me 
I can't even look at you 
I don’t need you, but I do
There's nothing you can say to make this right again, I mean it 
TODAY WAS A FAIRY TALE
Today was a fairy tale
I used to be a damsel in distress
Time slows down whenever you're around
Can you feel this magic in the air?
I fell in love when I saw you standing there
It's getting so much clearer 
Nothing made sense 'til the time I saw your face
YOU ALL OVER ME (FEAT. MAREN MORRIS)
I lived, and I learned, had you, got burned
Swore that I'd get out of here
No amount of freedom gets you clean
I've still got you all over me  
The best and worst day of June was the one that I met you 
Don't you wish you had me? 
Every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then 
I watched a part of myself die
MR. PERFECTLY FINE
I've been waitin' for you all my life
Every single day until the end, I will be by your side
It takes everything in me just to get up each day
Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine", how's your heart after breaking mine?
It's wonderful to see that you're okay
Everything revolves around you
Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same
'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl
I never got past what you put me through but it's wonderful to see that it never fazed you
WE WERE HAPPY
When it was good, baby, it was good
No one could touch the way we laughed in the dark 
Goodbye's so much harder 'cause we were happy 
I hate those voices telling me I'm not in love anymore 
THAT’S WHEN (FEAT. KEITH URBAN)
Need some space to think about all of this 
When can I come back? 
All this playing, did you ever think of me?
I'll be waiting at the front gate
I did you wrong, made mistakes and put you through all of this 
I'll come back
DON’T YOU
I knew I'd run into you somewhere 
It's been a while
I didn't mean to stare 
I'm sure she'll make you happy 
Don't smile at me and ask me how I've been
Don't say you've missed me if you don't want me again
You don't how much I feel I love you still 
Sometimes I really wish that I could hate you 
I swore I wouldn't do this
BYE BYE BABY
It wasn't just like a movie 
This is the last time I'll drive this way again 
I still love you but I can't 
I was so sure of everything we thought we'd always have
Seems like I'm becoming part of your past
There's so much that I can't touch
You're all I want but it's not enough this time
I can feel you like you're slipping through my hands 
I'm so scared of how this ends
I want you back but it's coming down to nothing
367 notes · View notes
allthingsarmin · 3 years
Note
fckboy armin? + degredation is always a good combination <3
I was so excited to write this dose of Armin brainrot, omg 😩
If it’s alright with you, anon, I did this request in more of a headcanon format, but the ending is more of a fanfiction format. I’m also sorry I took so long to write this omg.
MINORS DNI!
Fem!Reader, FemBodied!Reader
TW: Mentions of NSFW topics + degradation, mean!armin, manipulation, fuckboy topics
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin whose style resembles that of the horny, manipulative, ghost-y men on campus yet is just too hot for you to handle. The way he wears dark silver rings on his left thumb, middle, and pointer fingers that accentuate his slender, pale fingers and clean-cut nails. The way the small, dark tattoos on his knuckles, right forearm, and collarbone add an aura of mystery and aggression to his being that just exudes sex. The way he wears a gold chain necklace with distressed jeans and a plain t-shirt that’s just a little too tight and shows off his pecks. Or the way he wears long black joggers and an oversized long-sleeve black shirt that makes him look taller. The way he doesn’t wear his mask correctly, always hanging on one of his ears which compliment his stud earrings and devilish smirk. The way he is broke because he’s always spending money on the newest, trendy shoes. The way he always uses way too much cologne… One look at him, and you can sense his ‘asshole attitude,’ but you can’t deny it makes your lower regions pulsate.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who’s body is so perfectly sculpted and toned that it leaves you thinking dirty thoughts in class. The way he sits in class with his sleeves rolled up, laying back relaxed in the chair, right leg bouncing out of boredom as his hard cock becomes noticeable in his grey sweatpants makes you want to run to your dorm and touch yourself. The way his abs call out to you to graze your fingertips against them when he lifts his shirt up to wipe away the sweat after walking home from the gym. The way his beautifully slender fingers hold his phone or push his hair back when he’s frustrated makes you think about how good they would feel inside you. The way his accentuated collarbone peaks through his thin t-shirts, allowing you to see the hickeys and imprints of love bites from god knows how many women makes you jealous. The way his skin is so pale and so soft that his blonde leg hair becomes barely noticeable. The way his golden hair brings out a plethora of the shades of blue in his eyes, and oh how his haircut suits him perfectly, shaping his jawline very well. How his beautiful blue eyes dangerously lure you into him, the soft but manipulative stares he gives you. How he can’t seem to maintain eye contact with you for more than three seconds because he looks at your breasts. The sinister yet sexy smiles he has plastered upon his face when talking with his friends about ‘some other whore’ he fucked the other day… Armin is attractive, and he knows he is attractive. Though you hate how arrogant his looks have made him, his suggestive stares and lip bites from such a handsome man make your heart flutter and mind only focused on one thing.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who is always posting thirst traps on instagram. You know… The pictures with the squinted eyes and the bitten lower bottom lip, either showing off his money or new shoes, pictures beside a nice car, suggestive pictures with the new girls he’s been fucking recently, biting his chain necklaces because he thinks it’s sexy. Only follows ‘successful’ men and offensive meme accounts but mostly follows half-naked women and supermodels. Leaves nasty comments on ugly womens’ pictures, calling them whores while he’s in hot girls’ DMs sending unsolicited dick pics and asking for nudes. Has thousands of followers, mostly from the party girls and rude men who go to his college. Won’t let you tag him in a photo unless he ‘looks hot.’
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who takes slutty gym pictures with his shirt off, abs out, shorts low enough to see his V line, hands in his hair, and a wink. Sends it to every girl in his snapchat contacts and posts it on his story with the ‘slide up’ text.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who hits you with the “you up?” at 2am on snapchat after ghosting you for two months. Tells you how much he misses your lewd moans and sloppy cunt, and then after pressuring you to give him nudes, he saves them and then doesn’t talk to you for at least a week.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who is so intelligent and dangerously manipulative. Who is so smart that he doesn’t need or want to pay attention in class, who convinces you to let him keep the nudes you sent him on snapchat, who reels you right back in when you try to move on from him.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who was nice to you at first, befriending you when you looked so alone, shy, and innocent, who only chose you because you looked so easy to take advantage of when he finally closes in on you.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who says he doesn’t want ‘any of that relationship stuff’ because all of his exes were crazy and that he only wants to date hot chicks.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who only texts you at ungodly hours during the weekdays and plays games like ‘20 questions’ with you so he can ask you if you’re either a virgin or a whore, if you like oral, if you’ve thought about him in dirty ways before… or truth or dare, asking you if you if you want to be his slut or daring you to send him lewd pictures of yourself.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who takes every chance he can get to turn anything sexual: the way your skirt is just a little too short that makes him suddenly grab your upper thighs, the way you innocently lick your ice cream cone on a hot summer day - he tells you to put your tongue on his cock instead, how you put your hair up in a high ponytail just makes him want to pull on it and kiss the crook of your neck… it all leaves him clouded with dirty thoughts.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who calls you ‘babe’ and refers to you as his ‘girl’ even though he has a million bitches on the side.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who makes you feel like shit about yourself because he’s constantly sending you womens’ profiles on Instagram, saying you should look more like them and ‘get a nicer ass.’
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who becomes more controlling as your sexual relationship continues, basically forcing you to let him check your phone in case you're messaging other dudes and being naughty for men besides him but gets defensive when you want to see his phone.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who refuses to eat you out but expects you to praise his cock with your slutty mouth and wet tongue.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who doesn’t really care about your personal problems or pain, and whenever you tell him you’re hurting on the inside, he offers to let you come over to his house so that he can fuck you: “once my cock is inside you again, you’ll forget all about your sadness.”
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who doesn’t use condoms because he ‘can’t feel anything’ when he wears them, so he just assumes that you’re on birth control when he cums inside you.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who violates your privacy when he’s online gaming with his closest friends, Eren and Jean, as he tells them through the microphone about how tight and wet your pussy is and how much you enjoy being treated like a slut, your mouth full of his cock and pussy dripping with his cum… going as far as sending secretive videos he took of you to them where you’re whimpering and begging for Armin’s cock.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who pressures you to do risky things you don’t want to do, but you just can’t find the courage to say no to him when he stares at you with his intense blue eyes… like when he asks you to sit next to him in the back of the class then without your approval, sneaks his slender fingers into your panties and starts harshly playing with your clit. He devilishly smirks as you try to suppress your cries of disapproval. Or like when he convinces you to let him take videos of you when you’re in a position that exposes your slick cunt to him so well. Or even how he manipulates you into trying something new that you’ve never been comfortable with, like swallowing his thick cum, letting him put you in a full-nelson, maybe letting him choke you while he spits in your mouth.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who finally closes in on you, begging you to help him study for the upcoming test since he wasn’t paying attention in class because ‘you’re just so distracting’ to him, acting so smart and innocent and respectably in front of the teacher when Armin really knows that your slutty outfits and wet pussy says otherwise… so you excitedly go over to his dorm, thankful that finally it will be a normal get-together where you could actually find out more about Armin instead of finding out more about how he likes his cock sucked. Upon entering his dorm, it is apparent that he never planned on studying with you as his textbooks are nowhere to be found, and he is sitting on the couch half-naked with Netflix on the TV.
ᵔᴥᵔ “Oh hey, y/n, didn’t expect to see you here so soon,” he says nonchalantly. You unknowingly stare at his broad shoulders, his strong chest, and of course his V-line that is not hard to miss as he carelessly talks shit about his teachers. “See something you like?” arrogance seething from his teeth as he brushes back his blond hair. You don’t say anything as your face grows red. He takes your hand and leads you to the couch. “Come on, let’s watch something.”
ᵔᴥᵔ The sound of skin slapping drowns out the voices on the TV. You don’t even know how Armin managed to get you into this position again where you’re so submissive under him, giving into him yet again. He flips you over on your back, and he props himself up, looking over your figure that’s so pathetically displayed below him. You can see his angelic hair stick to his forehead as the sweat drips down his soft but sharp cheeks. The look in his eyes has gone dark, and his smile is sinister as if he was a predator about to devour a prey. He wickedly laughs as you grind your needy cunt against his hard cock. This is where he really gets mean.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin loves to degrade you like the whore you are, constantly reminding you just how easy you are to take advantage of, how easy you are to win over with just some dick, how easy it is to make your sloppy cunt squirt and tingle from multiple orgasms, how easy it is to make you whimper and beg for his thick cock to make a complete mess of your pussy.
ᵔᴥᵔ “You really didn’t think I invited you over just to study, did you?” he snickers as he cruelly and slowly thrusts into your aching cunt, making eye contact with you and grinning as your face turns red. He grabs your throat, choking you, and begins to thrust faster which pulls shaky moans from under your breath. He inches close to your ear and whispers, “you even came over here without wearing underwear under that short skirt of yours…” he switches to the other ear, “and when I started touching your dirty cunt during the movie, you were already so wet,” you shiver at his words. He pulls back and gives you a gentle slap with his left hand, his rings stinging your face, and uses his right hand to twist your perky nipples. He begins to laugh, “but I’m not surprised that a filthy slut like you - my filthy slut - would think of such impure thoughts during something as innocent as watching a movie.” Armin leans closer to your face again, still thrusting into you at a quick pace. His warm breath raises goosebumps on your skin. He harshly grabs your mouth and tells you to open, which you submissively comply with, and he spits into your mouth which causes you to whimper. He smacks the side of your thigh. “You like being treated like some depraved slut don’t you?” You don’t reply, but the fluttering in your tight pussy says otherwise. He flips you onto your stomach, your breasts mushing into the couch, and without warning, he forces his girthy cock into your tight pussy. He is thrusting into you at an ungodly pace, making you scream and moan incoherent words. “What’s my little slut saying? Use your words, baby,” he teases. At this point, you can only call out his name. “A-armin…” He begins to torturously thrust into that one spot, and within seconds, you're bucking your hips, intensely squirting onto his couch and leaving a sopping wet dark spot. “Fucking whore, gonna have to buy a new couch because you can’t control your filthy cunt,” he growls into your ear. He quickly flips you over onto your back again, wanting to see your face. Your face is contorted with such pleasure; your eyes are rolled to the back of your head, and your mouth is wide open with drool dripping down your jaw. Armin shudders, his cock getting even harder in your tight pussy. “So hot… such a lewd slut.” He immediately brings out his phone, taking a picture. “Want me to show my friends what a cock-hungry whore you are?” You quickly nod. “So fucking pathetic,” he snarls. “I’m going to destroy your cunt, slut.” He shoves his warm tongue in your mouth, gently grabbing the hair on your foggy head. “I’m gonna break you in so bad,” he mumbles, wiping the tears from your face.
ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who maybe in fact does want to have that ‘relationship shit’ with you ~
__________________________
Requests are open, and feedback is appreciated <3
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