#it mostly has to do with what device i'm typing on

[attapullman]

your punctuation is all over the place. choose a style and stick with it

so you aren't captivated and impressed by my lack of consistency?

Gee, what a disappointment. That must be so hard for you.

LUCKILY THERE'S A WHOLE INTERNET WHO DOESN'T MIND ME TYPING HOWEVER I'M FEELING IN THE MOMENT

#it mostly has to do with what device i'm typing on #i was a journalism major who literally had to get an A in a punctuation/grammar class to graduate #so eat shorts nonny! #letters to mo #haters gonna hate and i'm gonna shake it off

[realisticjupiter]

haihaii!! your profile has been like.... THERAPY to me bc the aib fixation is back AND ITS STRONG ESPECIALLY TOWARDS CHISHIYA 💔💔💔 i love the way u write as well !!

so with this could i request a touch starved chishiya... like a chishiya that needs readers attention so bad but is too embarrassed to downright tell them "I WANT CUDDLES" or smth... still he does everything in his power to get readers attention atp the only thing left is to just BEG

also could i be 🎶 anon ? i picture myself being very active here from now on... have a nice day!!

Summary: Chishiya can't sleep without you.

Genre: Fluffy

Pairing: Chishiya x gn!reader

Warnings: None! :)

Word count: 784

a/n: Aghhhh i hope this is okay!!!!! That is actually so sweet of you, I'm so glad you've liked my account!!!<3 And ofc you can claim an emoji, hello 🎶!!

Chishiya tried everything to get you into bed with him. He tried seducing you, gaslighting you, and of course his manipulation tactics didn't work either.

All you were focused on was trying to fix the phone from last night's game. It was still on, so you thought it would be easier to get into before it powered off.

Every time he'd call your name, you'd brush him off. Mostly because he always used a certain tone of voice you've become far too familiar with when he tries to get what he wants.

All he wanted to do was kneel at your feet to tell you exactly what he wanted. To tell you he just wanted you to hold him, to tell you all he needed was your attention.

But he couldn't. He never has been able to ask for help, or ask for anything without feeling vulnerable for that matter. He was closed off, that's what people knew about him; that he didn't show those types of emotions in fear of being belittled.

Chishiya could feel his eyelids getting heavy and his eyes burning from keeping them open, but he knew no matter how hard he would toss and turn; he wouldn't be able to sleep without you.

It was pathetic, he'd admit that. It was a loop he found himself getting stuck into, and found there was no way out of it. He hid it pretty well, though. Through late nights where you'd fall asleep alone and wake up to him beside you. You truly had no idea he struggled so much.

He was so tired. He'd do anything if you'd just stop and sleep already.

And he found his last option, the one thing he dreaded the most.

"Y/n?" Chishiya whispered, his voice husky as he climbed out of bed and walked towards you with slow steps.

"What?" You hummed in response, never peeling your eyes away from the task at hand.

"Please," He spoke underneath his breath in an almost incoherent whisper as he stopped to stand beside the chair you sat in.

"I don't know what you want, Chishiya. No one is keeping you awake." You sighed, watching from the corner of your eye as he stood by your side, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

"You're keeping me awake." He murmured, watching your hands as they played around with the device's motherboard.

"How?" You said in defeat, finally turning your attention to him. You looked up at him with your hands thrown in your lap, clearly waiting for his response.

He let out a huff as he looked around the room; avoiding eye contact. When he finally looked at you, his eyes were soft and glassed over.

His next sentence was incoherent.

"What?"

[inaudible]

"Chishiya. Speak up, please." Your words were soft as you stood up from your seat, placing your hands on his upper arms.

"I can't sleep without you." He finally spoke, his words finally registering in your mind.

When he realized you had finally heard him, he felt like he could say anything. And with his new found confidence he continued to speak.

"Why is it so hard to ask you to touch me?" He breathed, letting his head fall onto your shoulder.

You smiled at his soft demeanour. You knew how hard it must've been for him to admit something so close to himself, especially since it was about you. You've found a new side of Chishiya you haven't seen before.

You brought a hand to comb through his hair as the other scratched up and down his bare back, "I'm sorry, Chishiya. I should've just read your mind." You whispered against his shoulder as you held him close to your body.

Your words were an obvious tease, trying to humor the situation at hand. Which did make Chishiya snicker.

"You should have. You've always been able to." He muttered, wrapping his arms lazily around you.

You smiled warmly as he spoke, pulling away to drag his hand towards the bed. You climbed in with him closely behind you. He waited for you to get comfortable, before he joined you under the covers to tangle his limbs with yours.

"I'm proud of you, Chishiya." Your sultry breath hit his forehead as you mumbled against his skin.

He stared down at the way your bodies fit together, processing your words with a smile he knew you couldn't see.

"Now go to sleep, 'm here." You spoke once more into his skin, kissing his forehead and massaging your fingers into his scalp.

His cold fingers danced around your bare skin, trying to bring himself impossibly closer to you before his body fell limp into a night's sleep.

reposts and comments are appreciated <3

#realisticjupiter #rocky's chishiya fics #🎶 anon #aib #alice in borderland #alice in borderland fandom #imawa no kuni no alice #fanfiction #writing #fanfic #alice in boderland x reader #chishiya #chishiya alice in borderland #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #chishiya smut #chishiya fic #chishiya fanfic #chishiya fluff #chishiya x you #chishiya x gn!reader #chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya x y/n #aib x reader #aib x you #aib x y/n #aib fanfic #alice in borderland fanfic

[ornii]

|| My Kind of Crazy: 2 ||

(Sorry for taking so long for Part 2!)

Part 2: Tension (mostly Sexual, Totally diagnosed by a Real licensed Therapist.)

The Squad mount up in the Helicopter and all are strapped down and in, Red Sits between Harley and Boomerang and Flag waits. Someone else finally arrives as well, a woman. Dawning a mask and a mysterious katana.

“You're late. This is Katana. She's got my back. She can cut all of you in half with one sword stroke, just like mowing the lawn. I would advise not getting killed by her. Her sword traps the souls of its victims.” He explains, Red Hood eyes the woman, Harley extends her hand.

“Harley Quinn. Nice to meet ya. Love your perfume. What is that? The stench of death?” She smiled, Katana turned to Flag and sat next to him.

“She seems nice. Harley whispers to Red Hood, who tries to ignore Harley. Harley turns around and looks out the window.

“Ooh. Look at the pretty lights! Are you guys seeing this?” She said, Red Hood decides why not and also looks, it was black clouds, gathering nearby a square and lighting surging through it, this was bad.. very bad.

“What happened?” Deadshot turned to Flag.

“Terror attack. Dirty bombs, bad guys shooting up the place with AKs. You know, usual shit.” He said, but Flint can see though the lie, and they argue.

“Right. Yeah, you're a bad liar. I don't know if they told you, but I'm a hitman. I'm not a fireman. I don't save people.” Flint shrugs and Flag calls him out.

“Anything for a dollar, right?”

“You know the dark places, too. Don't act like you don't.”

“I'm a soldier! And you're a serial killer who takes credit cards. When the shooting starts, and it will, you'll cut and run.” Flag glares at Deadshot, Red Hood turned back to his seat. “That isn’t a terrorist attack.. you’re probably a good soldier, terrible liar.”

Bullets tear though their hull, someone down on the ground fires at them, killing the pilot and forcing the helicopter to spiral.

“Six-one is going down. Six-one is going down hard!” The vehicle crashes and begins to flip, Red Grips the seat and holds himself tight. The helicopter finally halts down and the second carrier lands and soldier flood put to assist the living crew. The S.S and Flag somehow survive with minimal damage. Red Dusts himself off and looks around, city’s evacuated. This definitely isn’t a terrorist attack, something much darker is happening.

They begin to walk though the empty street, Red taking long looks around to figure out what’s going on, before he can, he hears shouting from behind. Turning around he gripped his pistols and watched as Katana Held Boomerang by her sword, Slipknot trying to grapple and rappel away. Flag shook his head and tapped the device on his wrist, and Slips head went splat, exploding. His corpse hangs on one of his grappling hooks. A grim reminder of just how quickly his life can end.

“You wanna keep playing the Hollywood Squares version of "I'll Blow Your Fuckin Head Off"?” Flag looks at the other inmates, all silent. “You next, Deadshot?” Flags attention turns to Deadshot, who points at him. “You just threatened me? Oh, yeah. He just threatened me.”

They all continue to walk. Deadshot, Red Hood and Harley in a trio.

“All right, I'm gonna kill him.” Deadshot grumbled.

“Well, you better make it quick 'cause he's gonna kill all of us one by one.” Harley adds in.

“I'm gonna drop him, the sword lady, five or seven of these SEALs. After that, I'm gonna need some help. You down?” He asked, and Red cuts him off. “Ain’t gonna work.”

“Why not?” Deadshot replies, Red Rubs the chin of his mask Coyly. “Well.. if only had to guess, Waller isn’t the type to leave well enough alone. You kill Flag and make a break for it, she’ll probably pop your head before you reach a block. She probably has a detonator too. Watching our every move. Red Hood explained, and Deadshot stopped him from walking further.

“You seem real calm, like you already got a plan..”

“I do.. If the HVT is who I think it is, we just have to bide our time. Keep your head on your shoulders and you’ll be fine. But I can’t say that for everyone.” Red picks up the pace and walks, they cut to another block and down a collapsed street. Flag and his men move forward and take a firing line behind a police vehicle, The Squad post up behind them a few feet back, watching. Flag gives an order and a large portion of soldier split off into the alley nearby, leaving him and a few men.

“Hey. I like these odds, mate. You just say the word.” Boomerang eyes Deadshot

“Yeah, uh... Hold that thought.” Red Walks forward to see what they’re focusing on, using his helmet he activates detective mode, standing against Flags men was a soldier who looked, not human. His body oozing black liquid and his head now nothing but eyes, glaring.

“Hm.. Terrorists, right?” Red sarcastically asked Flag, who didn’t say anything. Deadshot approaches too, looking and whatever this was.

“The hell are they?”

“You cut and run, I'll blow your head off.” With a scream a chunk of the charge at the soldiers and squad and the red hood attacked, his duel pistols tearing through the stone like heads of the former soldiers. A trained soldier by Batman made easy work crushing them.

After pinning one down with a judo throw and planting a slug in their face, Red Looks up to see Flag being dragged off by four of the stone monsters, he aimed his handgun and was cut off by one dropping down onto him, his chest clams against the hard asphalt, before Red can counter, a pair of sneakers was near his face, all he heard was a grunt, swing and stone hitting the ground. He pushed the dead soldier off him to Harley toying with her bat, she turns to Flag.

“Good riddance. Am I right?” She smirks at Red, who shook his head and loaded his pistol.

“He dies, we die!” He screamed, she rolls her eyes and the two storm over, laying fire and death on the stone soldiers. Flag looked up as they help him.

“Thanks—“ He starts

“Go Fuck yourself.” Red walks off, ready to lay more fire down. But he didn’t need to, he and many others watched Deadshot mow down soldier after soldier with pin point precision. Dropping the one at a time until they all lie there full of bullets. Deadshot drops down back to the crew, walking past Flag.

“That's how I cut and run.” Deadshot catches up to Harley and Red, as he leans against a car with his arms folded, watching Harley bash in the skull of whatever these monster soldiers were.

“Having fun?” He asked Sarcastically.

“Yeah.. good stress relief.. you should try it..” Harley smashes another head.

“No im good, trying to not be a full blown psychopath id rather just watch you go crazy.” He replies, Harley stoped mid swing and turned to him with a smile.

“Oh, you don’t want to smash heads in.. but there is something I know you can~” she mocked him, which had a flirtatious tone. She stopped her swinging and approached, leaning into his helmet slightly.

“Let me guess, you wear the mask as some type of symbol against the world that’s wronged you, and you do that… by killing bad guys?” She asked.

“I kill because heroes are too weak willed to put the dogs down.”

“But if you kill like they do, makes you just as bad.” Harley finds the perfect flaw in his logic.

“It makes the world a better place.” He retorts and Harley giggled, “A Sociopath with a Savior Complex, original.”

“I am nothing like any of you..” he thought, Harley can see the gears turning in his head. She smirked, and leaned in past his helmet. “Well.. if you want we can sneak away and you can show me just how different you are—“

“E-E-Excuse me?” He stammered slightly, Harley shrugged. “It seems like you have a lot of repressed sexual tension that you need to release, and I.. also might have ulterior motives but, a wins a win right?” Harley poked his chest, and she bats her psychotic eyes, she’s crazy, his type of crazy.

“Hey. Hey, come on.” Deadshot frowns, Harley moves away from (Y/n), who was trying to play it cool under his helmet. Harley kicks the corpse.

“What? I saw it move. See? It flinched. I think. Red agrees with me, right?” Harley kicks the corpse again, Red looked at the corpse in more detail and saw something that began to set more in motion, a dog tag. He shook his head and Approached Flag. “What are they?” He said, in a slight growl.

“I don't know.”

“Bullshit. We’re shooting soldiers, your soldiers.. aren’t we?” Red said, Flag for in the face of red who wasn’t backing down. And he heard Croc’s growl. Flag backs up and walks, “We got a job to do. We're moving.” Flag walks off and leaves Red to think, He shook off the cobwebs and follows, entering the building Red Made his way to the small desk, and checks the CCTV recordings to see nothing there. Boomerang laughs

“Whoo! Looks like we have a spot of luck, eh? Be a walk in the park. Easy peasy.”

“Stop talking” Red Grumbled, he looked up to the sound of dinging, as Harley takes the one working elevator. “Son of a…” they rush up the stairs, they await at the end for Harley, the door opens to her just fine, with dead stone soldiers at her feet. She smiled, and stepped out without a scratch. They kick open the door to the office and from the ceiling soldiers drop though it, another firefight breaks out, and Red begins to notice a pattern. Specifically flag.

Their focus on him makes this story more and more complicated. As the bullets settle, the group make their way up via a flight of stars, Red followed behind slowly, and Harley looks over the railing her eyes hazy, lost, devoid of love. Red Approached from behind.

“Harley?” He asked confused, she turned and drew her handgun, the magnum aimed right at his head. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t feel fear

“… Have you ever been in love?” She asked, sad, the question actually caught him off guard. Red saw flashes of someone in his life, just for a moment.

“I did.. once, not anymore..I don’t think I can love.” He admits.

“Bullshit.. it, has to still be in there, somewhere. What changed?” And asked, and a single manic laugh ringed in his ear.

“Joker..” he said with such scorn and evil, he gripped his gun. “That’s what changed… I don’t have the innocence to love anymore. Do you?” He walked past Harley.

“I wish I do.” She replies. Red turned around and looked at her, “You really love him.. don’t you? You’re a victim.” He turned back and went up the stairs, with, pity on his heart. They go to a large floor and a door beyond it. Before they can go in, Flag turns to them.

“Wait here, Please. I don’t want to give this dude a heart attack, okay?” Flag walks to the door and with caution, enters.

“Aww he’s embarrassed of us.” Harley jokes, but Red Hood turned to Deadshot.

“Remember when I said about the HVT? You want a chance to escape, it’s through that door.” Red Points to the door, and Deadshot approaches, as if to expect some evil monster, what he got.. was much worse.

#male reader #harley quinn x male reader #harley quinn x reader #harley x reader #harley quinn #dc #dc comics #dc x reader #Ornii #dcu #dc universe

[doobea]

KISS ME THRU THE PHONE - ISAGI YOICHI

synopsis: in which Isagi texts the wrong number and things kinda go downhill.

THIRTEEN - So, baby, kiss me through the phone. -> MASTERLIST contents: fem!reader, college au, fake dating, strangers to lovers, he fell first but you fell harder, generally sfw, confessions and all things pertaining to awkward pinning, a smooch towards the end word count: 1.6K a/n: and that's all folks! ok but real talk i think i fell in love w isagi while writing this smau series whoops

Isagi blinks once, twice, and a third time. When the chatlog stays the same, he asks Bachira to punch him in the stomach.

Bachira does this action with no hesitation and adds a bit more force than his usual horseplay. It knocks the air out of Isagi and he ends up hunched over by the edge of the living room couch. Reo looks relatively disturbed and Nagi doesn't even bother looking away from the game he's currently playing on the TV.

"I'm finding new roommates next semester," Reo groans and Nagi immediately hums in agreement afterward.

Bachira crouches down in front of Isagi, a smile too big etched across his face as he asks, "Did that help?"

Isagi manages to collect his words and nods. "Y-Yeah, thanks I guess..."

"What happened this time?" Reo hesitantly jumps into the conversation.

Isagi turns up his screen's brightness before placing the phone in the center of the coffee table. Everyone, including Nagi, peers at the messages. A moment of silence and then a shared gasp.

"What are you saying back?" Bachira blinks, trying to overanalyze the chatlog.

There's a shrug and then Isagi fiddles with the collar of his shirt. "I don't know! Uuh, should I just say 'me too'?"

"No," Reo frowns and snatches the device away before Isagi can type anything. "Is that all you got? No girl wants to just see 'me too'. You have to do this in person."

Isagi sputters out a cough. "In person? Like face-to-face?"

"That's what in person means." Nagi comments.

Isagi doesn't know how he feels about that. It's nearly midnight and, while your messages made him wide awake, he isn't entirely sure if you want to see him right now. His friends seem to pick up on his thoughts, mostly because he wears his emotions on his sleeve, and interjects.

Nagi pauses his game, something he rarely does, and looks over his shoulders. "You should definitely go."

"Yeah, yeah," Bachira chimes. "She's probably waiting."

They're right and probably right about most things in Isagi's life for the past few weeks. Isagi takes his phone back from Reo's grasp and finds the courage to reply back.

want me to come over to talk about this?

You respond almost immediately.

my babygirl i would like that

Perfect.

be there in 10.

Isagi rushes to his room, fishing out a fresh pair of socks, the heaviest jacket he has, and a pair of old beat-up sneakers before making his way to the front door. This isn't a big deal, Isagi tells himself. Maybe you're playing a weird game with him, or you actually want to be friends and nothing more, or you do like-like him in a romantic way. The more he mauls over it the less sure he is.

The wind is howling when he begins to jog over to your place. It's pitch black, the only light source being from his phone's GPS and the campus' lamposts scattered around. All of this feels weirdly comforting to Isagi, and he finds himself picking up his speed.

Your phone is currently somewhere across your room, hidden under a pile of clothes and pillows after you read his text. You try to distract yourself with a generic romance show in the background but find yourself staring out the window, anticipating what the hell you're going to do when Isagi arrives.

And, for the first time, you start to wonder how you even got here to begin with. This whole situation started not too long ago, a dumb fake number exchange that turned into a movie night that eventually rolled into a mountain snowball effect of the worst case of fake dating you've experienced. All because of Isagi's dumb idea that he blurted out without any real thought behind it. It wasn't supposed to be anything.

And, the scariest part right now, is that you know you want it to be something, but whether or not everyone is on the same page is a different story.

You roll around in bed some more, hair slightly damp from your earlier shower and wearing a mismatched pair of pajama sets that your parents had gifted you last year for Christmas. You strongly debate whether to call Rin or Chigiri for any last-minute advice but the thought of it is making your stomach flips. If you were to call, that would only solidify that what you're doing right now is real. Your feelings toward Isagi are very much real.

A sudden sound from your show catches your attention again. Looks like the island's favorite couple has won the prize and the viewers' hearts.

You want to be excited but secretly, you don't like romantic comedies. At least, that’s what you tell people.

In reality, you've seen a whole bunch, because Chigiri is a sucker for them. There’s always some elaborate set-up where the two main characters meet. Then a whole lot of back and forth, some ridiculous, drawn-out conflict keeping the two lovers apart, the usual cliché stuff. But there’s always a moment at the end. A big, romantic, dramatic moment where the two come together.

But you know better. Real life isn't like that, as much as you wish it would be.

There's a long moment of silence before your thoughts are interrupted by a faint knocking noise from your windows. You break your attention from the TV and carefully pull your curtains aside, staring back at a pair of familiar, welcoming blue eyes.

Isagi fucking Yoichi is outside your apartment.

"Oh, shit!" You hastily shut your curtains, ignoring his muffled 'hey, sorry for the scare!' and stumble to get your slippers on. Your phone pings a few times from your junk pile, you assume it's from the boy freezing his ass off outside.

You throw a blanket over your outfit and strut to the entrance. You can't tell if the thumping noise is coming from your slippers hitting the floor or your heart. Your hand sits on the cold doorknob and you begin counting to five in your head before opening the door, revealing a disheveled, shivering Isagi in front of you.

"Hi," Isagi looks out of breath, cheeks stained with pink, and wearing nothing but a heavy puffer jacket, an oversized shirt, and grey sweats. You suddenly don't feel insecure about your current wardrobe.

"Hi," You say back, wondering if he knows just how much torment he's been causing you for these past few nights. "You wanna come in?" You quickly step aside when he starts sniffling.

He takes his jacket off and holds it in his lap as he plops onto your sofa. "You've got a nice place," Isagi says slowly, eyes taking in every detail of your living area. He takes notice of the dog plushie from the mall trip not too long ago sitting by the edge of his foot and grabs it.

You start chewing on your lips as you join him, carefully placing yourself on the other end of the sofa. You swear you're going to start developing nervous habits the more time you spend around him, never mind all the other sources of stress in your life. "Thanks," You reply quietly. "Sorry that you came all the way here."

"You... you were being serious?" He suddenly asks.

Your cheeks flush and you feel slightly annoyed that he has to make you explain everything. Pulling the blanket tighter against your body, you exhale a heavy sigh and groan. "Why would I joke about stuff like that?"

Isagi mindlessly plays with the stuffed animal in his lap now. "I thought you didn't like me?"

You force out a laugh, covering your warm cheeks with the blanket. "You think I would put up fake dating someone for two weeks if I didn't like them?"

"Um, maybe?" He answers lamely.

You find the confidence to lean over and grab the stuffed plushie out of his grasp, rolling your eyes in the process. "I literally named him after you."

"Thought you meant it as a degradation," He chokes out.

You pause and stare at him. "No offense, Yoichi, but you're oblivious to like everything."

Isagi laughs into his hands, probably painfully aware of the fact. He narrows his eyes and offers you a hint of a smile, a bit less nervous and more of your usual banter.

"I think that's what the guys were thinking, too." He quietly admits and turns to get a good look at you, chuckling as he says the next part. "You look like you're about to faint."

And you can't help but agree. Your stomach feels jittery, your hands shaky underneath the covers, and your nerves are shot. But you two are slowly leaning against each other, giggling and almost seemingly threading between an area of something more and something less than just friends.

Isagi stops first and takes a deep breath. He reaches his hand out tentatively for your shoulder. You freeze when his fingers curl themselves in place and the touch is electrifying and burning.

"Can I—" Isagi swallows hard, his eyes searching hard within yours, and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze. "—kiss you right now?"

"Yeah," Your voice has gone all quiet but inviting.

As Isagi's fingers tighten slightly on your shoulder, he leans in closer, his breath warm against your lips. The room seems to hold its breath as your faces draw nearer, and then, finally, his lips meet yours in a soft, tender kiss. It's a hesitant, careful kiss filled with all the unpredictable moments and emotions that have been building up between you two.

After a few seconds, he shyly pulls back and smiles, a mixture of relief and joy in his expression. "I've wanted to do that for so long."

You smile back, your heart full. "I'm glad you finally did."

TAGLIST

@fabitheraven, @froggie-zusya23, @rroxii,@anurst,@silly-ez, @userwithlotsoftime, @tiniewife, @zeld6lvr, @macspov, @plopify, @urluvvdommm, @theweirdfloatything, @shironagi, @avogigi, @limerence-lu, @exatse, @cloooudmilk, @keijiqahara, @kakie @xacgrx @reiners-milkbiddies @arxliana @lazyogurt @kaitfae @yuxame @keiitsune @ch3nyan @ll-seishu @qwertyblo @mellozhi @y-sabell-a @izumi-astra-123 @blissblossom @slay0368 @hanniejji @mimikage @yoichiislovie @stwberri @wooasecret @faeroow @yuzurins @celestair @ascybous @satoruskitchenrag @laavatron @lupinandout @yoisami @softfor-svtptg @nymphsdomain @astro-pioneer @kunikame

a/n: i started this way back in july and finally finished!! this is my first smau series and im so glad that all of you guys stuck throughout it despite erratic uploading times hehe i love you all!!! Mwah mwah

#blue lock #doobea writing #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #blue lock headcanons #isagi yoichi #isagi yoichi x reader #blue lock smau #blue lock x female reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #kiss me thru the phone - isagi yoichi

[definitelynotshouting]

Idk if this is Hunger AU canon or my own personal fanon but

one of the "calling cards" that the Watchers used in Evo was bedrock

bedrock is unbreakable by a player

perfect for trapping the player you're using as a Watcher incubator

and the texture looks rough af

when you get desperate you often try to do stuff to escape even if it's impossible, right

so what I'm saying is

probably one of the last things player!Grian did was tearing his hands to shreds trying to break bedrock out of sheer desperation

which makes all the passages in your fic where he's staring at his hands even more *gestures vaguely*

(idk why I typed this out in this format but it felt right so I'm going with it)

MAN OKAY THIS IS SUPER COOL i especially adore how youve connected it with the way i keep having Grian stare at his own hands???? which ftr is smth ive only just now realized i do all the time AKDBWKDJKSSJ this is JUST like the scarian jaw kisses thing HELPPPP 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but thats such a cool thought!!! And utterly angsty i love it >:]

Its also made me realize i dont think ive ever actually told yall what did happen during that interim where Grian was captive as a Player before he died and became a Watcher, so buckle in i guess as i try to explain this one to yall (obligatory cws for captivity, parasitism, violated autonomy, body horror, and major character death discussion)

Yknow the world borders the life series has?? It was like that, but tiny. Maybe a couple chunks' worth of space to move around in. He spawned into a savannah biome and the Watchers specifically in charge of keeping an eye on him (pun intended) penned him in with the borders, implanted the specially-coded larva, and then retreated back just outside the server's barrier code to, well. To Watch.

So post Evo dragon fight the Watchers convinced Grian to join them without telling him what that entailed. They then proceeded to whisk him away to the server cluster's dev crystal, which is where the remnants of this Watcher colony made their semi-permanent home. There, held together basically only by the Watchers' ability to manipulate code, they had Grian make a brand new server.... and immediately trapped him in it.

He spent a year there slowly dying, eaten from the inside out by a parasite that was collecting his memories, copying over his stats and personality, with very limited space and resources to get by with. I know he built a tiny house out of acacia, but it never got any bigger than a starter base. He lived off of mostly bread and the meat from a few animals that spawned in with him; he primarily used stone tools, because those were what was most readily available. It was a very terrifying and lonely year, where all access to the outside world was cut off, and he was meticulously watched over to keep from dying while the larva inside him continued to grow and destroy him.

The Watchers were mostly hands-off in terms of interaction, but they did do regular check-ins to ensure the larva was alive and that there was no danger present to its host. Hostile mobs were carefully warded off, and Grian spent most of his time alternating between begging them to let him go (they never responded), trying to figure out ways to escape (it never worked), and tending to baseless chores just to keep from going out of his mind as his body grew weaker and weaker and more unstable around him.

I have a lot of feelings about this tbh, bc its just such a bleak scenario to think about-- trapped in a tiny cage with something killing you from the inside out, and your captors wont even talk to you about it properly. Being left otherwise to your own devices, with the terrible, lingering knowledge that, even if it was under duress, you still agreed to this. The fact that, after a certain point, after your questions and pleas are summarily ignored and brushed aside, you finally realize: you aren't meant to survive this. You are going to die.

A juvenile Watcher's first meal are the emotions during their host's last few moments. Grian was no exception; he cracked his way out of his own ribcage, and, without meaning to, amplified and feasted on Player!Grian's agony and terror as he died. With their memory codes finally disconnected, Grian had to watch himself through the eyes of a stranger as his terrified consciousness dissolved and his body fell apart into nothing more than loose strings of code.

Only then, still weak and flailing and helpless, was he was brought into the colony proper, in order to teach him how to be a Watcher. It wouldnt be for another few years before Grian gained the strength, control, and insight required to make his desperate escape. In total, i wanna say he spent somewhere between.... 4-6 years??? with the colony against his will. It would take another 4 for him to finally scrape together the courage to contact Mumbo and finally ask him for an invite into the Hermitcraft proper

One of these days i do plan to write that reunion, actually, which i'll add to the series as another prequel just like all the words that i forgot to say, which takes place roughly 6-8 months after Grian finally joins Hermitcraft. And if yall want to read an absolutely fantastic fic that deals with the moment Watcher!Grian was born and Player!Grian died, you should absolutely check out my friend @raichett 's fic Divergency, which ive pretty much canonized bc it REALLY hits the nail on the head for that situation.

Okay this got a lot longer than i meant it to sidhskdjej also those timeframes are a little squiggly bc i havent fully settled on where they fall on the general timeline. I wanna say Grian had been a Watcher for abt a decade by the time Mumbo got him onto Hermitcraft, though, so thats the loose timeline im working off of when i talk abt this :] anyway thanks for giving me an excuse to write this all out!!! while your idea about the bedrock isnt necessarily canon, i absolutely ADORE it and can totally see Grian just tearing up his hands while scrabbling against the world border.... utterly heartbreaking we fucking LOVE to see it. Thanks for sending in your ask!!! I always love seeing what you have to say about hunger au!!! :DDD

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #grian #watcher grian #evo watchers #UHM. LORE AHOY???? ITS A DARK ONE THO GUYS IM NGL #txt

[squirrel-art]

Finished my little compilation of Sav and her mobility aids! ID in alt for each.

Disclaimer that I'm able-bodied & open to criticism about my portrayal! Also I realized belatedly her rollator is parked in a way that would, in fact, not keep it from rolling the fuck around, my bad.

Further details about my design philosophy/Sav's symptoms under the cut.

I played Savtas through Consular Story Chapter 1 in Full Good Girl Mode, saving all the Jedi and using the shielding ritual whenever prompted. The side effects of the rituals are vague and inconsequential in-game so as to make the job of the writers and programmers easier; characters comment worriedly about the fact that you "look tired" and not much else.

Fortunately, I have none of these restrictions. I don't know how to scientifically quantify "life-essence", but in my canon the energy required to create and maintain the shields comes right out of the body of the shielder, and behaves first and foremost like a faster-than-sustainable burning of calories. In the short-term, Sav became dangerously malnourished and fatigued; in the long-term she developed PoTS and what I've been glibly referring to as "Force fibro" in my brain, because the symptoms she experiences are the similar to that of those who suffer from fibromyalgia in real life: chronic pain, chronic fatigue, disordered sleep, and brain fog.

Some of those physical symptoms are ameliorated via use of a mobility aid, so she's tried out a couple different types.

Rollator

Sav's mobility aid of choice, purchased somewhere at the beginning of Ch 2. Sav is prone to dizziness and fatigue, and has less difficulty walking than she does standing for long periods; the rollator helps keep her balance and gives her somewhere to sit for short spells when she needs to.

The wheels do make this device better for navigating flatter and more even ground, but I imagine she can swap the wheels out for all-terrain varieties. I wonder if you could put blades on them like ice skates, to move around on places like Hoth? Well, the brakes wouldn't work, so probably not.

As mentioned in a previous post on my other sideblog, the design and colors are meant to evoke the pillars of the old Jedi Temple on Coruscant. This model is bespoke, created to Savvy's whimsical specifications. It wasn't even that expensive; you'd be surprised how many discounts people are willing to offer a Jedi!

Chair

A gift from the Jedi Council upon her defeat of Terrak Morrhage and the subsequent quelling of the Force plague. It's a more expensive model, and comes with a sturdy stand to rest it on when it's charging or not in use.

Design inspo drawn from both canon sources and the wonderful hermitmoss' hoverchair headcanons post!

I deliberated for a while as to whether Sav would have been given a wheelchair or a hoverchair. I settled on hoverchair mostly because Sav wanted a certain level of independence in her movement, but nobody was sure how long it would take her to regain enough upper body strength to reliably push herself around in a manual chair.

Sav in this image is at the beginning of her recovery, but she does continually make use of her chair after regaining some of her weight and muscle mass. Her rollator became her device of choice over the chair in part because the chair is kind of bulky and heavy, and can't be easily collapsed for transport. She probably has a lighter, more maneuverable transport chair stored on the ship to utilize in a pinch.

Looking at the design of the chair, I am already dissatisfied with it - the seat isn't raked to keep her from sliding out of it, and the control panel should realistically be attached to an extension and not directly under her hand. We'll fix that in the next pass, I think, but for now this drawing is representative of the overall design and colors.

Cane

She's got a few of these! Most have an offset or contour grip because she finds them the most comfortable, and most have adjustable bases.

Her favorite is probably the non-adjustable wooden one she got from a craftsman on Alderaan, the only one she owns made of fully organic materials.

#bonus KOTXX-era Sav reveal in that third image! #i really like this set. wish i could draw it properly #the real boots in-game have the runes on them but i couldn't be bovvered #swtor #mirialan #star wars #star wars the old republic #jedi consular #jedi oc

[drmaddict]

True Crime

Summary: (Y/n) has a true crime channel. Walter hates true crime. Walter findest out.

Wordcount: 1.452

Warnings: brief mention of torture and rape

Faye didn't want to make that sound. Especially not in the presence of her father, but it had just slipped out of her mouth.

And of course he was now standing next to her, as if she had been shot and had not just taken a surprised breath.

She inconspicuously tried to turn her cell phone toward her, but he was already reaching out for it.

She looked at him with angel eyes.

"That was a really good part of the song," she smiled.

He continued to stare at her strictly. She sighed and handed him the phone.

He looked at the display with his eyebrows drawn together. "True Crime?"

She leaned back into the sofa. This could take a while. "Do you know how much crap this trash spreads?" he started.

"Dad it's just a YouTube channel." Her father started to speak again, but she immediately continued. "And it's well-researched for once. It's got mostly closed cases in it and when they're open, there's no speculation. All the sources are linked. She even shares the published police files."

"Faye. I don't want you listening to that kind of stuff yet. There's disturbing shit happening in the world. You're too young for that."

"That's what the light versions are for.", she insisted.

"The what?"

Faye reached for her phone and showed him the YouTube channel. "Here. These are the light versions I listen to and this", she pointed to the video below, "is the full version, which also goes deeper into all the tathher processes. Plus, even on the easy stuff, you can still skip parts and she warns you."

Walter paused. Since when were these idiots so careful. "And how do I know you're not listening to the other versions?"

Faye simply clicked on one of those videos and immediately a message came up saying you had to confirm your age by ID or credit card. "Because I can't." She leaned back again. "You can tell she takes parental controls very seriously."

Walter grumbled. He was running out of arguments. "And how do you know, how well researched it is. You don't even know who it is."

In hindsight, Faye really didn't know what she might have given away. Whether she had moved her left nostril, or the right corner of her mouth was emitting Morse code, but her father knew right away.

"Who is it?" he asked immediately.

She remained silent. "Any of the older ones from school? A teacher? One of the parents? Aha!"

How the hell did he do that?

"Dad come on. Does it matter?"

He just looked at her strictly again.

She sighed. "Only if you don't say anything."

He rolled his eyes. "I won't embarrass you in front of your friends."

She rolled her eyes. "It's (y/n)." she muttered. "I like (y/n) and so do you, so please just forget about it and don't make a scene."

(Y/n)? "When does she have time for that?"

"Well when you're at work."

He continued to stare at the phone and sighed.

Why hadn't she ever said anything?

"Send me the worst case she has in there."

She didn't have to think twice. She reached for her phone and sent him the video.

"But the light version only goes for 20 minutes," she explained.

"And the other one?"

"A good hour and a half, I think. That one has the most extreme time difference."

She continued typing on the device. "She does a lot more stuff like this, though," she explained. "And you might even like this one," she looked at him uncertainly. "It's about hacking and.... and she educates really well."

He looked at her. "Faye breathe. I'm not going to break up with her."

She loosened up a bit.

"She just could have told me something.", he grumbled.

"Well you're not exactly hiding how much you hate True Crime," she said hesitantly.

Walter sighed. "I'll listen to it."

Faye smiled. "Thanks."

Since he was ordered to take forced vacation, he could also watch the videos. (Y/n) was anyway with a friend living far away.

It was not as if he had anything better to do.

Walter decided to rip off the band-aid and started with the worst case. The full version, though.

He clicked on the video and neutral music sounded. For once, no horror music. The screen remained black.

'Welcome back my dears. If you've already peeked at the trigger warnings, you've already seen that today's case is really not for the faint of heart. As always, assess yourselves honestly. I also had to stop several times during research. As always, you'll find the light version as the next video, but you can also skip parts in this one.

So let's start with how one case managed to put even members of the Japanese Mafia behind bars and why even minors can be sentenced as adults in case of doubt.'

Walter interrupted the video several times. Although it was about a japanese girl beeing tortured and raped, he kept having Faye in mind. You'd think the years in his job had dulled him, but he felt sick at the recitals of torture he was now hearing.

'I don't really know how to end a video like this, but please remain careful as always. Take care of yourselves and your friends and family. There's a link coming up on the screen now. If you know someone, or you need help yourself when it comes to sexual violence. You will find phone numbers, email addresses and places to go to find protection, but also to share and find people who can help you with processing. I hope I didn't scare you away too much but next week there will be something lighter. Promise.

Stay safe and see you next time.

Bye.'

Walter went to the link and actually found official and good stations. Support groups and hotlines he knew himself.

He clicked on the next video that Faye had sent him. That's the kind of video she does most, she had said.

'Welcome back. Today with probably one of the most famous cases in the world. Everyone who has ever heard of criminal cases also knows him. Ted Bundy is the world's most famous serial killer. I want to tell you today, how one man managed to exploit the weaknesses of the police organization so that he got away with his crimes for years.'

Walter listened to the double episode back-to-back. (Y/n) hardly dealt with the crimes themselves, but mainly with the investigative work and Bundy's advantages. The process and his time in prison. She worked almost biographically. Rachel would be proud of her psychlogy research, he had to honestly admit. It wasn't sensationalist, but it was intriguing nonetheless. He scrolled through the rest of the videos on the channel. Well-known cases from the eighties. Historical cases that went back to the fifteenth century. But he also found videos that educated about security measures. Especially for the Internet. Small self-defense tricks that could help even people without any experience in case of emergency.

He had to confess that he didn't hate her channel.

He clicked on the last video that Faye had sent him.

'Hello and welcome my dear ones. When you think of TrueCrime, you immediately think of serial killers and the heavy hitters, so it's easy to forget that there are other newsworthy types of crime. Today we're talking about a revenge porn site that destroyed more than one life and a young man who thought he could do anything until he met the wrong mother. Many of you are probably familiar with the Netflix documentary.'

He went through the links while listening to the video. Again, he found official cybercrime contact points.

Educational sites. Tips for staying safe online.

Walter dropped into his chair. He didn't like the idea of a TrueCrime channel he liked. He hated those things. But (y/n) was doing a good job.

He stroked his face with his hand.

The next day, he just walked past Faye and grumbled:"You can listen to it."

He ignored her triumphant grin and made himselfe some coffee.

He sent (y/n) a link to their own channel. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

Her response wasn't taking long.

'On our first date you said how much you hate TrueCrime.... I thought you were great and I didn't want to screw it up right away and at some point it was too late. Did Faye tell?'

'Not willingly. I interrogated her. Your research is good.'

'So we're good?'

'Only if you add a few places to go in your links.'

'You are a softy after all.'

Walter grumbled.

#walter marshall #walter marshall x reader #walter marshall x you #walter marshall x (y/n) #henry cavil x y/n #henry cavill characters #henry cavil x reader #henry cavill fanfiction #walter marshall fanfiction

[whetstonefires]

hey, random question! what platform/method do you use to keep your robust digital media when ripping CDs? i havent done it since i was a kid with itunes (when itunes let you upload your own stuff....) and wanted to start again

Platform...they are files?

Like, mp3s; I keep them in my hard drive and thumb drives and so forth. My 'music' folder has subfolders, mostly by artist, which have subfolders per album. I just. Have the files. In my computer. Very basic method.

I organize and play them through VLC mostly. Or, on devices that still have it, I have kept using Windows Media Player, because I'm comfortable with the UI and why not, but they're actively phasing it out so I can't recommend adopting it lmao. And ofc if you're in the apple ecosystem it's not remotely an option.

I don't know that much about macintosh tbh but afaik they do let you have a file directory where you put your files that you own, which is definitely what I consider to be the most sensible baseline, if you have a device with enough memory. And memory has gotten pretty cheap.

I don't know of any cloud client service that's actively catered to letting you upload stuff you own and then stream those files on any device you please without having to jump through extra hoops, and suspect it might not be a thing at this point because there is no profit in that and it's not free to provide. They really want you to have to pay money to access content that you don't own. Sorry.

I bet you could figure out a way to keep a reasonably large music library in the amount of free storage google gives you with an account, and then play from there, but I don't think it would be very seamless. Maybe even less so on iphone.

But if your phone of whatever type has or can be modified to have sufficient storage space, you really can just. Keep your music in it. And then play it. VLC is open source and very good, and they have it for apple; I definitely recommend it.

But you don't like, keep files in it, it's just a player and sorter. So it doesn't feel like it answers the question you asked exactly, sorry.

#ask #hoc est meum #axiolotl #music #tech #i still have an mp3 player #that i hook up by aux cable to a speaker #when i want to play music out loud #had very smug this holiday season when two people on two occasions spent an hour each trying to get their paid Spotify accounts #to work with the right combination of devices #to actually provide ambient music #while i could do so in thirty seconds flat after the second guy gave up #the first 'guy' was my sister at christmas who borrowed my laptop because she couldn't get her bluetooth speaker working #so she wanted to aux without tying her phone to the speakers #accidentally hard-booted it #and got hella DARVO and made christmas very bad for me #i'm still sore about this and this made me extra smug about 'winning' against spotify at new years lol #but also spotify demonetized most of their tracks so i get to make my penury and inflexibility into a moral stance now lmaooooo

[gorbalsvampire]

Hey so obviously the clanbooks help flesh out the clans, but which clans do you think benefit the most from their clanbooks? Not necessarily powers, but the flavor. The details.

So this one took me a while, because I had to go back and look at the Revised edition clanbooks and refresh my memory on them. I'm mostly a Revised goblin, although Cappadocians never had a Revised clanbook so I dipped my toes into second there.

Also, for a Clanbook to be good, it has to be helpful in playing the clan, and more interested in that than delivering metaplot. This is why Clanbook Giovanni, though dear to my heart, is Not A Good One, because it's so mired up in shuttering Wraith: the Oblivion and the associated plot events. This is why Clanbook Cappadocian is bad, because it is shot through with "here to go" foreshadowing of the clan's downfall and doesn't do enough on establishing what they did in Cainite society at the height of their power.

Brujah: almost no mechanics, almost all history and perspectives. The Brujah suffer from an identity crisis - rootless between the classical era and the twentieth century, their history really feels like the history of the Anarch tendency, and their customs the heart of the movement as it is tonight. But for sheer detail - giving itself the breathing room to talk about how the Brujah work within their sects and contexts - I think this is one of the good ones despite its lack of substance. Telling that Justin wrote it.

Gangrel: this one locks arms with the Ravnos and walks down history together, embedding two underdeveloped clans in each other. The Gangrel come off better, because they're not starting from "[insert slur here] vampires" as a concept, and because the narrative voice of their book is curious and intelligent and refuses to take anything at face value. The core concept of the Gangrel is "Wolverine with fangs" - I'm being reductive, but "brooding animalistic outsider, bad team player, best there is at snikting all the bubs" - the point is that dragging Gangrel into a coterie with anyone else and making them functional involves dragging them away from what their "clan culture" is all about.

Weirdly, I think this Clanbook does more for the Sabbat Gangrel, simply by running through the Paths and showing how the Gangrel can integrate with them. Bloodlines are mostly stupid, mechanical impact for animal flaws reifies the clan curse in a good way (kinda similar to the contemporary Malkavians). There's a lot here but none of it makes me want to play a Gangrel, for some reason. I suspect it's that the core fantasy isn't really one that interests me, and if I'm going to play that hard against type, I'd rather start from a different base altogether.

Lasombra: the throughline of Lasombra history delivered through a series of in-character lectures is a neat device, foregrounding the contradictions better than usual. Likewise, the detailed depiction of Lasombra Embrace and education protocol and internal factions builds explicitly and confidently on the corebook's limited vision and their role within the Sabbat. The dot by dot breakdown on Obtenebration teaches you how to play one systemically and how to ST around this overtly supernatural Discipline and more of the books need to do that. One of the better suites of premade characters, too (and the Student of the Abyss is a dead ringer for my first girlfriend). It's been a long time but I think this is the book that made me like the Lasombra as a clan rather than a power set and story function.

Also:

Sabbat are not wholly their own masters. No vampire stands altogether free to choose his behavior, thanks to the Beast and the fundamental requirements of vampiric survival. The Sabbat makes matters worse with its beliefs and practices, which repeatedly push participants into acts that erode conscience (and Conscience). When you play a Sabbat vampire, you take on a distinct set of challenges. It’s not necessarily more “adult” or “sophisticated” than any other sort of vampire, nor is it automatically more “juvenile” or “indulgent.” Sabbat exist within tighter boundaries than most independent or Camarilla vampires. Not everything you’d like to have your character do, or that he would plausibly want to do, is actually within reach.

Because some of us really do need telling.

Malkavian: for sheer style, for refuting the kookiness and fae nonsense and artsy layout of the second edition volume, for actually being substantively useful in playing the clan, this one makes the grade. Has one of the best metaplot beats with the antitribu's grand justification for mass Embrace and thinning the blood. New Derangements, better than the ones in the core book if I'm honest, especially the specifically vampiric ones that move away from "playing something straight out of the DSM."

I'm going to mention powers again here though - I wish the Revised devs had caught on to the idea of alternative powers at lower level, as some of this stuff (like Babble) shouldn't have "be seventh generation, i.e. not a starting PC, i.e. probably having done a diablerie to 'level up'" as their prerequisite. Weakest part. Also, I love the Moirai. Favourite brood. Probably sold me on my love of brood coteries.

Nosferatu: I like that a Nosferatu calls out Kindred history on its Eurocentrism! And much like the Gangrel, this book gives you some hooks to hang your clan weakness on - Merits and Flaws that reify aspects of the Nosferatu aesthetic. I don't think these are all necessary, but they are cool. A similar breakdown of Discipline usage to the Lasombra, again showing and telling how to Nosferatu as well as what is Nosferatu. That's the distinction with the good Clanbooks, I think - they remain focused on playability and using these ideas rather than just telling you about cool shit. I want to play a Nosferatu after I've read this book.

Dishonourable mention: Tremere. The Tremere Clanbook doubles down on a central bugaboo with the clan - if their hierarchy is sevens and sevens and sevens all the way down, your city should be crawling with Tremere. To have all these internal agendas and subfactions represented in a meaningful way - same. I'm aware of Grician bias, I hate the 1:100,000 "rule" with the force and fire of a thousand suns, but this book really needed to show you how one or two isolated Tremere work and it fails to deliver.

Tzimisce: I don't like how overcooked this clan is, with its Koldunic Sorcery and its Old Clan and its revenant families and its two different versions of "your signature discipline is a disease" that are both high concept shit far removed from Playing Your Lil' Guy - but that material undeniably exists and if you want to refer to it... well, isn't half of it in the Sabbat guide? I don't know where I stand on this one, but Tzimisce fans generally want as much as possible to chew on and there's More In Here.

Ventrue: Much like the Brujah and the anarchs, a lot of what the Ventrue have going on under the hood can be read "as above, so below" with the Camarilla as a sect. To know one is to half understand the other. The Ventrue codify the unwritten social rules of their sect, or rather their sect unknowingly imitates the code that organises the Ventrue.

The difference, as ever, is that the conservative and hierarchical side of the coin is much easier to detail than "imagine your way out of authoritarianism", and as such Clanbook: Ventrue has a great deal more direct, didactic, actionable material in it than the broad and vague concepts of the Rabble. Titles, organisation, spheres of influence, clear lines through the medieval to the corporate: read this one.

There is more to the Ventrue than you ever imagined - so much that they almost fall into the same hole as the Tremere do, but they don't have the hard number for the brain to latch onto and worry at. Even now, I'm describing this very good and self contained Clanbook by comparison to its peers - that's how the Ventrue get away with it.

I'm not just saying this to blow smoke up @biomechanicaltomato's ass, either. It's genuinely one of the best books; I think only Lasombra and perhaps Gangrel and Nosferatu are on the same level, and in very different ways.

#vtm #vampire the masquerade #clanbooks #meta #opinion post #thanks for asking! #ventrue #lasombra #gangrel #nosferatu #tremere #malkavian #tzimisce #brujah

[mio-nika]

Disgusting (comic) AU. Over-arching plot, characters profiles and relationship dynamic breakdown.

Plot:

Mostly based on a modmad "What if Ace Attorney Investigations: Simon Blackquill".

Post Dual Destinies, Phantom spends some time in prison (like a month). And now let's get him out (temporary), so he can sell his employers with comfort. And also pair him with Simon, because they don't hate each other enough. Phantom get's his Bobby mask because artistic continuity, if I change his face we are bordering on Original Character territory.

I'm not smart enough to write actual spy plot, so they are existing in some limbo doing something spy-like. I'm mostly here to inflict the massive amounts of psychological and emotional damage on characters and fans.

Main Protags:

Phantom - after his meltdown in court, getting shot and the conviction his brain got chopped in much finer mush. With his blood, fingerprints and face being recorded he has no way of going back to his classic "run and hide" bullshit. Doesn't like to be out and about. Prefers to be locked up in jail, since he gets solitary and full protection.

Simon - is suffering. Understands the assignment of being paired with the guy who actually knows how to run underground spy business. But still does not like it. AT ALL.

Athena - since I'm not a fan of women centric whump (it's very rarely good and I can count the good examples of it on one hand). I'm using her as a plot device and brain can opener. She's not involved in operation, bc Simon cares about her to much. But sometimes spends time with Phantom as a psychotherapist.

Relationship chemistry:

Everything is very bad. I mean. Except psycho duo, but they are kinda. A well oiled machine.

• Simon <- -> Athena - they are something that I call platonic soulmates. Two people who's lifes are so deeply intertwined, that they can never be apart. They are friends. They are siblings. They are uncle and niece. They would be together from this point to the eternity.

• Athena -> Phantom - she feels disdain towards him, but also pity. I mean:

I truly think that the therapist in her. And the saviour complex would destroy her "he killed my mom". So she kinda goes as "I would help you, but only if you yourself would try to change. Bitch you live like this".

• Phantom -> Athena - fear. I mean. She can read his mind. She can feel that he feels. She is the reason why his life was destroyed. And I'm not only talking about last trial. She made original reading from his bomb threat.

Her abilities to read his mind is probably horrifying to him, since his entire persona based on hiding. But I also think, that he would gravitate to her. She thinks he can change. She's also mentally not normal. She's a therapist. There's a lot of reasons why he can be scared, but also longing for understanding.

• Simon -> Phantom - disgust, babeey! There's probably a lot more, but this bitch does not talk to me. So I'm just observing him from the side.

• Phantom -> Simon - we went so far from good doggie woof woof, that we came back to it.

I'm calling it "fucked up backward loyalty". It's half "I has no reason to make him even more mad, we are trying to work here". And "please please please give me any type of attention". It's the same way as with Athena. Before every human interaction Phantom had for *we don't know how much* time was filtering through his role. Basically "it's my funny friend Bobby", not "it's my funny friend Phantom". So I think he got kinda. Lonely. Not even lonely, more like deep social dissociation. Simon hates him, but he hates HIM, SPECIFICALLY, not Bobby. And the hate is extremely powerful emotion it's almost like love.

Anyway. Local spy got his brain hard rebooted. And mistakenly imprinted on two people who hate him. WHAT CAN GO WRONG

#ace attorney spoilers #ace attorney #athena cykes #mentioned #phantom aa #simon blackquill #sorry for any possible writing mistakes im tired #and this post is so long #disgusting the comic #^ all posts about this comic now tagged by this tag #phantomquill #implied

[doberbutts]

Completely independently of Baldur's let me say I sincerely appreciate your thorough analysis of possible kinds of sexual dynamics Astarion might have. Both as someone who finds sexual dynamics (when applicable) fascinating parts of a person's life and a great storytelling device, and as someone who feels like - just like many other things the internet took and ran away with - get flattened into an almost meme-like shallow quality.

Would love to hear more of those kinds of in depth, character driven explorations of the topic in general, from as many people and as many viewpoints as possible. Hope you don't mind the burst of enthusiasm, it's a topic I have genuine interest in but find hard to discuss, especially in a serious context.

Oh, thank you! I don't get into details here but whenever I write anything for any fandom it's usually based in my interests and also in what I like to experience and what I have experienced and various fantasies of mine. So I'm mostly just drawing from real life experiences with other men who are attracted to men. Whether that is as friends, or as lovers.

And like. I get it. It's easy in this case to reach for the most stereotypical and that may even have been the devs' plan from the start. But my tav Panic is more of a side (someone who is largely uninterested in penetrative sex, who may still participate anyway because it does feel good and makes his partner happy, but is more willing to explore other types of sexual pleasure) and also greyace/demi with fairly low libido, which means the known characterization of Astarion needs a bit of adjusting because it's not as simple as "does he top or bottom".

But also because yes, Astarion is fairly gnc in his personality and body language and vocal tone, but he's also still very much a man, and he is pushy and bratty and snarky and a bit of a control freak regardless of ascension path and honestly? He could do either, or neither, or both. With Panic they switch often depending on mood and body cooperation, since many times Panic's reaction to offered sex is "oh, sure, if you want" because he doesn't value the act as much as the fact that he can experience it with someone he very much likes being around. So mentally he has a little more freedom to be, well, whatever works for the tone.

[love-toxin]

I’ve just been totally devouring your page and I have to imagine Robin is the type out of the yandere fruity four, to just come home with a puppy for you, because you were talking about how cute they were.

I think Eddie would be happy. Mum and dad would be pissed. But Nancy and Steve would learn to love the cute pup, especially because you loved it. Also, it reminds them of you, so they can snuggle it on their laps if they can’t reach you

oh 🥺🥺 robbie my love....

cws: polyamoury, post-s4, mostly robin pov, insecurity, mentions of recovery (injuries, hospitalization, meds), domestic arguing, a slight twinge of yandere, angst with a happy ending, fluff, fem pronouns.

It seems like, out of all of you, you're the only one that's happy to see Robin coming up to the front door.

It's the late fall of 1986, and the surprise she'd had for you had already been ruined a little bit--you had rushed out to the door to meet her as she walked up, and the cardboard box she'd been carrying had already started barking before she could set it up--but your overjoyed squeals of excitement when she opened the flap and showed you your new puppy were to die for, they made all that hassle of haggling for the little guy and carting him halfway across Hawkins to Steve's house completely worth it.

However, she knows there's a storm coming. Nancy and Steve? Not gonna be so happy with it. And it's not like she's got her own place to keep it if they don't want it in the house--the one that Steve grew up in is your group home, his parents having long moved out of Hawkins and left you all to your own devices. Nancy especially had been very clear about Robin's idea when she had brought it up initially, the same night you had gushed over a puppy you'd seen being walked out by the grocery store, and wishing you could have one of your own.

"We're not having an animal in this house. We have too many responsibilities as it is--and I'm not taking care of it if you don't."

Nancy's warning rings in her ears and somewhat spoils the enjoyment she's got out of your gleeful smile, but even still, it's hard not to let one of her own slip out when she's watching you giggle and scratch the baby lab's ears as he rolls around on the living room floor. The shag carpeting cushions the bruises on her knees as she sits across from you, occasionally lifting her hand to pat your new puppy's soft, chocolate-furred little head as he yips excitedly and oscillates wildly between both sources of attention.

To be completely honest, things really haven't been going well with Nancy or with Steve, lately. Arguments have been cropping up left and right and they've all been trying to hide it from you, trying not to let you see them angry at each other when you've already got so much on your plate. Nancy especially, she just...she doesn't understand her, and it's been getting more and more frustrating to communicate, especially when the three of them have taken on the bulk of the job of keeping your collective lives private. It feels like those two are more obsessed with keeping you in the house than making sure you're happy, it's actually gotten to the point of being concerning. So, yeah, maybe this decision was spurred on a little bit out of spite, and maybe that's a little immature, but....is it not worth it to see you so relaxed for once?

"Robbie, what's his name?" You draw your legs up to sit criss-cross, and he dives into your lap to snuggle and roll all over your legs, clad in a pair of Steve's old gray sweatpants.

"It's...whatever you want it to be." She smiles back, sober still, but relieved at least that she has your favour for giving you such a perfect gift.

"I get to pick? Really?!"

"Of course you do! I got him for you. I...I'm glad you like him, I mean, I hope you like him, but-" Her rambling stops only when you lay a hand on her knee, the wiggly little animal finally settling down as he gnaws on your other hand like a makeshift chew toy.

"I love him, baby. He's perfect. And you're the best girlfriend in the whole world."

No, her heart doesn't stop right then. Her heart bursts, bright eyes wide and soft with tears that just barely don't make it to the surface, and Robin's shoulders slump with relief like all the heaviness in her chest has completely evaporated. She's been carrying the weight since she woke up this morning, and decided to go get that puppy she had seen someone's ad for in the paper days ago. The uncertainty of whether she should have done it still lurks in the back of her mind, because she knows those two are gonna be pissed at her, but it was for your happiness....and she's got that now. She's got to see you smile after weeks upon weeks of despair. No amount of potential arguments aren't worth that.

"Can we go show Eddie?" You whisper, gathering your pup into your arms so he nuzzles up into the crook of your elbow like he belongs there. Still in a haze, she nods and lets you help her to her feet, her heart starting to pound again when you round the corner of the hall and climb the stairs to the second floor. The master bedroom is Steve and Nancy's now, the two guest rooms are reserved for you and Robin, and Steve's old room just off the top of the stairs....you let her turn the knob as you have your hands full, and you both make sure to enter on light feet into the renovated bedroom.

The walls have been repainted, those horrible stripes gone and some dark red colour splashed on in its place. You had gone to the trouble of pinning up some of the posters from Eddie's old room in the trailer, and had decorated with a couple plants and some other knickknacks and mementos, courtesy of uncle Wayne. Plus his guitar of course, sitting on a stand by the window, just waiting for its owner to pick it up and play it again.

The downside of the otherwise quaint little room, however, is the hospital bed that's set parallel to the window, arranged in the same place that Steve's bed once was before he moved into the bigger room with Nancy. Thankfully the machines that once accompanied it have been moved out, and replaced with bottles and labeled boxes filled with medication that are neatly stacked underneath the side table next to it--many of which are near unpronouncable, yet you're totally familiar with each one and have memorized the routine with which to take them. Because you're amazing.

"Eddie? You awake, baby?" Your hands full with the fortunately settled puppy, you let Robin wander over and touch his bare arm over the blankets. He's pale, and cool to the touch, eyes shut and hair fanned out over his pillow as he sleeps, and she wonders for a panic-stricken moment if somehow he's not here anymore--but then he exhales a breath, and she immediately relaxes.

Eddie's been bound here for a while now, having come straight from the hospital to the Harrington house as soon as he was stable enough to make the trip. The aftermath of the "earthquake" and the unrest of the town has since settled down (with the help of some very persuasive people high up) but Eddie, your sweet Eddie, has suffered more than anybody else has. The four of you have taken care of him since the demobat attack, but you've gone above and beyond--Robin's watched you stay up late by his side, organize his medications, read to him, bathe him, feed him, change his clothes, everything. You kiss him awake every morning and tuck him in every night, and she knows that if he never recovered, you would do so for the rest of your life. She's just lucky he's on the mend, as evident by the way his eyes suddenly shoot open and he sits up in his bed with a shout, arms outstretched like a zombie.

"Ah-!" You both shriek right back, the puppy startled too and letting out a string of barks while Eddie laughs at his ill-timed prank. Being babied to hell and back for weeks has certainly not helped his mischievous streak, but his wincing as he lays back down is some sort of payback--but his smile doesn't wane, and he looks up at both you and her with joy clear in his eyes.

"God, Eddie, you prick." She huffs, swatting his arm in the one place he's not covered in bandages.

"Aw, did I scare you, Buckley? Wanna cuddle me for safety?" She flips him the middle finger, and he cackles again, not an ounce of malice in his voice especially when he directs it at you. "Who's this little guy? Don't tell me Stevie finally yanked that stick outta his ass and let you get a pet."

He reaches out, and you gently lay the puppy on his chest, holding your hand down on his butt to keep him from wiggling too much and hurting your love--but Eddie seems too happy to mind, scratching the little guy's ears and immediately making a friend as the pup starts licking all over his face.

"What Steve doesn't know won't hurt him." Robin answers, her confidence drained as she fiddles with the rings on her hands because she actually has no idea what she's gonna do, or what he's gonna do when he does find out.

"Won't hurt me, huh?"

All three pairs of eyes turn towards the door when that voice rings clear, Robin's heart dropping straight into her shoes when she sees Steve leaning on the doorframe. His arms crossed over his chest, and his brow furrowed, she knows right away that she's in deep, deep shit. He cocks his head and straightens up, moving to stand by the open door--and she follows without looking back at you, flinching at the door being pulled shut behind her once she's in the hall, and crumbling even worse when Nancy's standing there waiting for her. She's so small, so delicate-looking, yet she's so terrifying when she has that stormy look in her clear eyes.

"What the hell are you doing? Was I not clear enough? Did I need to write it on your forehead?" Her arms are crossed, brow set, and tone as biting as she can make it.

"Nance-"

"No! You are putting us in danger, Robin!" She interrupts, drawing closer with a finger prodding her in the chest--and yet she lowers her voice as she continues, knowing well and good that you and Eddie will hear her if she's too loud. As per usual, she feels the need to keep you two out of the loop--to keep that perfect facade up. "The last thing we need right now is to draw attention to ourselves--and you can't just go out and do whatever the hell you want!"

"It's just a dog, Nancy! Christ, what the hell is your problem?" It just rips out of her from nowhere, the righteous anger--Robin's never a screamer or a yeller, she's a mumbler and a fast talker when she gets annoyed or scared. But it's been so long since all those incidents, and right now, she couldn't be more sick of Nancy acting like she's everybody's mom.

"My problem? You're my problem! You keep acting like everything's fucking fine, but we're the ones suffering when you screw everything up!"

"I was trying to make her happy!" Robin finally raises her own voice, shoving Steve's hand off her shoulder and taking a step out from between them. It's sickening. It hurts. And no matter how much it pains the two of them, she can't keep quiet. "Not like you two would know anything about that!"

"You're doing it for yourself, Robin! That's all you ever think about!" Nancy's lost her composure by now too, delicate fists clenched in fury as she spits each word like it's pure poison--but even she isn't prepared for what comes out of Robin's mouth next.

"Shut the fuck up for once, you goddamn priss!"

The timing of it all blurs together after that, when a heavy silence hits the air and nobody says a word. Nancy's eyes are wide, and so are Steve's, and that's the last nail in the coffin. That's it, she thinks. I ruined my last chance with the best thing I've ever had. She turns and makes short work of the stairs, a sob choking up in her throat as she pushes her way out the door and hurries towards the driveway. Parked just beside Steve's beloved car and Eddie's largely unused van is her bike--her shitty little bike, because she's too damn poor to afford a damn car or even a stupid license--and she climbs on, not a clue where she's gonna end up but hoping she just doesn't get hit on the way there, because she never wants you to suffer waiting in a hospital room ever again. Because she's evidently not worth fretting about.

But in the midst of her kicking up gravel and tearing away from the driveway in tears, she spots you skid right in front of her handlebars with your hands outstretched, and nearly hits you when she slams her heel into the gravel to force her tires to a sudden halt.

"Robbie!" You whine her name again--she didn't hear you the first time--grabbing hold of her handles like you want to make sure she doesn't think about pedaling off again. She brings the palm of her hand to her eyes to wipe at the tears, hoping fruitlessly that you won't notice she's crying--but you don't even flinch, you just edge around the side of her bike to let your hand rest on her opposite hip, and pull her closer into your embrace so you can hug her into your chest. "Don't go, baby. I love you, okay? We can work this out, but you gotta talk to me."

"I can't," She sniffles, finally giving up the fight against that lump in her throat and burying her face into your sweater as a fresh wave of tears spill down her face. "I'm already stressing you out. I'm stressing everyone out. I just...I'm just a burden."

"A burden?" You ask incredulously, tilting your head down and guiding hers up with your hands pressed to her cheeks, so she'll look you in the eyes. "The girl that saved my life? You think she's a burden?"

"But...But now you have to deal with me. I'm the reason you're suffering." She hiccups, thinking that she needs to let you go but feeling too weak to want to take her hands off of you.

"Bullshit." You squeeze her cheeks, your lips pressed between her brows in a warm, sweet kiss and a smack as you pull off. "You make me glad I survived. You're my hero, Robbie."

She wants to be. But she can't stop sniveling, trembling as she clings to you, and praying that you don't just disappear. You're such a sweet person, a kind person, and you deserve the world....but even the smallest things she tries to do for you just keep blowing up in her face. If it wasn't you, and if it wasn't the other three loves of her life, it would never be worth it. But the sting of rejection won't ease up even in the comfort of your arms, now that's she gone and royally fucked it up with--

"What the hell are you doing?!"

Robin lifts her head on instinct and you turn yours to look over your shoulder, her grip around you loosening when she spots Nancy running across the lawn at her with Steve close on her heels. Without taking her eyes off her, she pulls her leg off her bike and lets it fall and hit the ground--and she breaks away from your embrace, even though she wants to hide in it now more than ever.

"I...listen, Nance, I-I'm sorry I-" Her heart pounds so hard in her chest it feels like it's gonna burst out and splatter on the ground as the little brunette marches towards her. But it stops completely when she grabs Robin's arm, and yanks her down into a kiss that completely steals her breath away. A shocked squeak disappears into Nancy's mouth, and when she breaks it off with a huff and a dab at her lipstick with her fingers, Robin's spine straightens immediately and she glances around the yard like someone's going to suddenly emerge with a camera.

"Nance! W-We're outside!" Nancy shakes her head, breathing hard with a red flush tipping her ears.

"You were right, okay? You were right. I'm a priss. And I...I was overreacting, so please don't go." She completely brushes off the fact that she just did something so bold, her dainty nails clutching at the sleeves of Robin's jacket as if it'll certainly stop her.

"I...l-listen, I was too. I'm sorry, and...I won't be so impulsive next time, I promise." She nods, trying to keep that bubbly feeling inside her, but it's impossible not to smile. Nancy's not one to get so frazzled, and...it's cute. It's so cute, god, it's cute!

"I'm sorry, too. I was just scared. Scared that...that we're gonna go through it all again. I should've known that we're stronger now." She rubs at her arms, partially from the cold that you've all momentarily forgotten about, and while Steve would usually be the gentleman and warm her up it's her turn to do it. Robin pulls off her coat and throws it around Nancy's shoulders, pulling it tight so it won't fall and simultaneously drawing a pair of smiles from you and Steve on the sidelines.

"We are. We're a lot stronger. And, uh....now we've got a guard dog, too." Nancy rolls her eyes but not out of frustration like she's gotten used to, and reaches up to wipe one last, rogue tear off Robin's cheek with a delicate swipe of her thumb. A soft mumble of "you dork" earns her a smile, but just as you're all about to breath a collective sigh of relief as the tension passes, your heads all swivel towards the sound of a voice behind you.

"Hey!" Looking up, your eyes are drawn towards the second-story window that's furthest to the left--and there's Eddie's grinning face and his frizzy mop of hair, hanging halfway out of it. "Get off my lawn, you damn kids!"

"Eddie! Get back inside, you idiot! You're gonna catch a damn cold-" Steve's the first to yell back, stomping off into the house to force him back into bed while Eddie takes the chance to disappear. Upon getting through the front door, however, you can hear the sounds of the puppy barking and yipping happily as he bounces around your boyfriend's ankles. It sounds a lot like home, like the home you dreamed about having when you were old enough to have one. It's not long before you're leaving Robin's bike in the driveway and hurrying after him, the chill nipping at each of your faces as you run in and close the door firmly behind you to keep the rest of the world out.

Your new, excitable little friend runs about all three of you as a welcome before scrabbling up the stairs and bolting to follow Steve, and Nancy sighs out a laugh as she watches his tail wag so hard it wiggles his whole body before he disappears into the bedroom.

"Fine, you got me. He's adorable." Despite being in the warmth of the house again, she doesn't shed the jacket wrapped around her--if anything it gets tighter, her head dipping down to smell the perfume on it and the fruity melon scent of Robin's shampoo. "What are you gonna name him?"

"Mh....I'm thinking something like Dio. Or Ozzy. I'm gonna get Eddie to help me!" You beam, and if it wasn't for the glorious heating of Steve's beautiful house, Robin would be sure your smile would warm her right through the coldest winter. "We've gotta get some stuff first, though! Dog bowls, kibble, a leash--" You rattle off a few more things, but Robin's distracted by how cute you look getting all excited--and Nancy's distracted for a different reason, one that furrows her brow for a second before she relaxes.

"I'll take us then, okay? We'll make it a date. We'll even grab dinner at that place you like downtown." She offers, zipping up her loaned jacket and reaching for Steve's keys that always hang by the front door.

"Can we bring it home for Eddie, too? He told me it's getting easier for him to eat, now!"

"Yeah! Let's get snacks, and rent a movie too. There's this new romance I wanna watch--double VHS!" Robin chimes in, the two of you sharing a joyous look before turning back to face Nancy--and it soothes her heart to see the little queen bee getting flustered as the two of you beg her, even though it really isn't needed because at this point, it's clear that she almost always gives in. Depending on the circumstances, obviously.

"Yes, yes, and yes--I think we all need it today. Steve!" She calls up the staircase, waiting for his call back that comes right as expected. "We're going out! We'll be back with food!"

"Kay! Take Eddie's van!" She affirms him with a confident voice, but with a jingle of his keyring in front of your faces, you share a round of giggles as you head out the door and hurry to pile into his precious BMW before he notices.

It's not perfect, your relationship--Robin pulls down the mirror in the passenger's seat to wipe her tear-smudged makeup off--but it's more than she could ever ask for. She feels loved, and safe, and even though those words still sting, Nancy's hand on her knee and her gentle reminder to put on your seatbelts soothes the feeling more and more. And it's so hard to be unhappy when she's looking at you in the rearview mirror, giddy and smiling and reaching for her hand to hold it like you don't want to waste any second you have to touch her. That's so worth it--to know she would be missed if you ever had to go without her.

#yandere fruity four #yandere fruity four x reader #fruity four #fruity four x reader #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #eddie munson #steve harrington #robin buckley x reader #nancy wheeler x reader #st 4 #stranger things #ellie writes #anons

[alovelyburn]

I was introduced to Berserk by a guy/(boy) I was involved with last year. He - attempting to grow his manga collection last summer - regretfully, turned out to be complete scum. How telling that he ended up becoming bored with the story after the Golden Age. After reading Berserk myself…what a red flag lol. ANYWAY - at least for me, a straight woman - Guts is the quintessential, most perfect and exemplary man written for the “female gaze”. His general disposition, unwavering love for Casca, fiercely masculine nature (both protective and healthy) and tenacity are exquisitely woven together. This behavior extends beyond Cacsa too - in due respect to Farese, Schierke, Flora, Danaan…even just in modeling proper masculinity to Isidro.

I officially committed to Berserk in June. (Context: The beginning of 2022 was the first time I began seriously exploring anime in general, and since have started reading manga.) But I ,as a woman who has always loved any escapist story with depth, have never come across a character like Guts - aside from one other male character. Prior to discovery of Berserk, Jamie Fraser from Outlander was the exemplar of perfection in this category. However, upon diving into this manga - albeit a series whose readership is mostly comprised of by men - Guts is superior above all men I have come across in literature.

Additionally, I will add that the men in this fandom (with exception to the bad apple I mentioned) who vocally idolize Guts, as well as ALSO consider Berserk a love story - give me hope that good men do exist. Thank you, Kentaro Miura.

I posted this on Reddit and got backlash, I did not write this to say he is the most perfect character….I am saying he is perfectly written FOR THE FEMALE GAZE. Please look up the ‘female gaze’ because there have been a few useless comments by people who missed the point of what I said. Even more confusing are the comments by some people who completely missed the point of the entire story Miura wrote too???????

Feminists love to bring up how he choked Casca. Respectfully, here are my thoughts.

First, he literally choked her during Golden Age. Casca’s resolution and grace towards that assault is universally praised and yet people talk about her acceptance of him/his trauma as if it would be an isolated incident???????

Second, the beast of darkness emerging in that moment in the later arc is to serve for Guts to realize, and be horrified/fearful of the evil within him. Casca is the most precious thing to him - so for him to assault her in that moment is (in my view) a device to establish how serious the darkness in him is.

There are two reasons I hate when this is brought up to me. As a woman, if I raise concern about it regardless of context and ignore the numerous merits Guts has - it’d be written off that I don’t understand his depth of character. On the opposite side - if I don’t bring it up, or even better, others think they need to remind me….then I’m something of an SA apologist if I lack concern. It that suggests that women can’t and/or choose not to recognize complex male characters. Something of a catch 22

Genuinely, I wasn't sure whether to answer this. I don't really understand what it is about me or any G/G type person that inspires Gutsca fans/Casca fans to write us these long lectures about opinions you must know we're not going to agree with, and I'm not sure I want to encourage that. And also because any argument that Guts sexually assaulting Casca just proves how important she is to him makes me want to die, and I do find the refernece to "feminists" to be a little strange.

That said, I guess I do want to address this attempt to counter the idea that Guts trying to kill and rape Casca is perhaps bad for their relationship.

First of all, there is a difference between the strangling in the meadow scene during the Golden Age and the one where he's trying to kill her after having a chat with the Beast over the campfire. Specifically, the Golden Age incident was a ptsd/trauma flashback that involved him lashing out at a hallucination that brought out his rape trauma, whereas the second incident is him literally trying to kill her because he's frustrated that she holds him back from chasing Griffith.

This is literally what is happening. It's enabled by the possession, yes, but Guts himself acknowledges that the feelings/impulses come from within himself. They are motivated by his exhaustion, his frustration, the fact that while he cares about her, he also resents her because he'd rather go chase Griffith around like he had been doing before Conviction.

This is not a PTSD flashback that she gets caught in, it's him venting his anger at her. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about her or that he actually wants her dead, but it is an impulse that exists inside him, and he's struggling to contain it under the circumstances.

Second, the sexual assault is again literally and explicitly him reenacting the Eclipse rape in an attempt to get closer to/more enmeshed with Griffith like the words are right there on the page, that's what he's doing.

Which brings me to the two-pointed root of this disagreement:

Casca isn't the most precious thing to him, Griffith is. I'm sorry, this comes up a lot. The Beast of Darkness tells him that he's carrying her around just so he won't heal and be forced to move on from Griffith. It also lumps her in with the rest of his current companions as fragile flames that he uses to sustain himself until he can chase Griffith, "the true light that burns (him)." The Beast is, let's remember, just Guts' subconscious/dark side. It's not some outside entity trying to lead him astray, it's the dark feelings he tries not to acknowledge. It also comes up in interviews, e.g. Miura stating directly that Griffith is the one that gives Guts his motivation to live. When she runs off alone, Guts' first instinct isn't even to go look for her - he only decides to do that after sitting in the dark moping about the Hawks, and he directly refers to her as abandoning the Band of the Hawk itself. In fact, every time he commits to staying with her and protecting her, it's directly in the wake of him being reminded/reminding himself that when he abandoned Griffith and the Hawks it resulted in him losing everything he cared about without even realizing it. And even then, the entire time he kept promising himself that he wouldn't abandon her, he also kept vacillating - should he find her a safe place and leave her there and go back to what he was doing, or should he try to make himself stay? When Griffith takes off with her, he literally doesn't think about her even once. And to be clear, I do think if Miura hadn't passed away he would have shown more concern about her. But that doesn't change the fact that when Miura relayed what was most important about this situation to Mori (who said he wouldn't make up or flesh out anything but would just put down what Miura told him), apparently what he said was something to the effect of "Griffith kidnaps Casca, Guts has a meltdown about being unable to hit Griffith." All the people saying he's melting down because he couldn't save Casca are living on Cope, I'm sorry there's no other way to put it. He's melting down because after all his years of growing stronger and obsessing over getting to Griffith when he finally got there he was completely powerless to do what he intended to do, which was fight Griffith on something like equal footing. While yes, this ended up resulting in his being unable to save Casca, it's just extremely evident from reading the book that what he's most bothered by is his inability to land a single hit on the man who he has, in a lot of ways, lived solely to try and catch up to ever since Promrose. Thus the callback to the first duel, when Griffith overwhelmed him, and he became "Griffith's." Which brings me to

Casca's importance to Guts is very complicated, and I'm not here to say he doesn't care about her or love her as a person or that he didn't have legitimate romantic feelings for her, or that he isn't motivated in large part by his self-imposed duty to protect her. But I *am* here to say a lot of what motivates him is that Casca is his path to redemption. Casca may be the woman he had intended to be with, but what she is more than anything else, is the embodiment of the Band of the Hawk - he literally refers to abandoning her in the cave as abandoning the Band of the Hawk itself, and the idea that she has come to represent the lost army is emphasized during the Eclipse itself when Judeau and Pippin declare that if she, their current leader, survives it means the Hawks are still alive in some form. With Guts, his decision to dedicate himself to protecting her is a direct result of his bad choices in the past: he abandoned Griffith, and it resulted in Griffith being imprisoned and broken, plus the Hawks being killed... and ultimately led to the Eclipse. He abandoned Casca and Rickert and Casca ended up running around loose without any protection (that he knew of). Hell even Godot died while Guts was off doing something else, and he didn't even bother to say goodbye. Guts' tendency to chase a goal at the expense of the people he cares about and how it results in him losing them before he understands what he's doing is a repeated theme in his character, and it ultimately resolves (for the most part) on the Hill of Swords when Griffith abandons him. This puts him on the receiving end of his own callousness for the first time - he realizes he hates it, and decides he has to change his approach. His decision to protect her, to dedicate himself to protecting her, is not a grand romantic gesture, though there is romance in it. It's his attempt to stop making the same mistake and make up for what he's done in the only way he can: by not letting it happen again.

#ask #anonymous #ariel talks about berserk #...this might be one of the people who sent me anti-griffith essays #not sure #but the spacing and writing style are very similar

[ilyastudies]

I saw that you use a tablet, a desktop, and paper notes. How do you conciliate those notes?

Is there a mechanism of making primary notes on one resource and then passing those notes to other while reviewing them?

hi! thanks so much for asking! here are my favorite methods for sharing notes between devices :). i personally have apple devices so i can fairly easily airdrop and sync things between devices, but i also frequently work at the library desktop computers where i can't do that! so here's my tips and tricks for sharing notes between devices

for context: i've been mostly doing digital notetaking recently, but i also like to scan my paper notes as well!

i'm going to be dividing this post into 2 methods! (there will be some overlap). syncing already written notes and syncing notes (in progress) between devices

for already written notes:

the first step i would take is export your notes as a pdf or any other file type. if they're handwritten try going into your notes app (for ios) or downloading a pdf scanner app for your phone! if your notes are digital check the sharing options in your app to see if there's anything about "exporting".

personally, i like to use either discord or notion. i have created a discord server with only myself that i use just for sharing links/files/anything between devices! i like discord because there's apps for pc, mac, tablets, and phones; and even a web app! discord is really nice and fast, and you can make different channels (as pictured below) for organization. as long as your file size isn't too big, you should be fine.

my second app i like to use is notion! notion is such a beast in itself, but i like to use it to upload files and images and links! below are two ways i have used it: to upload pdfs/files, and to upload goodnotes (my notetaking app) links to the pages i'm writing on! similar to discord, notion has apps for all devices, but it also works great just by itself on the website (no app required)! it's really great to access it from all my devices.

another way you could share your notes on different devices is through the cloud! (yes, discord and notion are both through the cloud). google drive, microsoft onedrive, icloud storage, etc. are great tools that you can use to upload files and see on multiple devices. i personally like discord and notion more, just because they're already apps i frequently use, but if you can't get either one cloud-based storage platforms are also a great idea! they definitely have more security than discord or notion, because your files may be at risk of being deleted!

for the purposes of sharing notes to reference on another device when writing an essay, or something of similar vain, i really love discord and/or notion and they both work great!

for syncing notes in real time:

pretty similar to the last one, i would say notion or google docs (or microsoft word on the web i believe has similar functionality, or onenote, anything similar!)

if you want to be writing notes on one device and have them sync up quickly on another - i think any word processing software is the best bet for you.

both notion and google docs you can access them on any device, and/or on their websites too!

google docs is a lot more straightforward, but since notion is so powerful it provides a lot of flexibility for your notes! here's an (old) example of notes i've taken on notion. (i personally really like how easy it is to make columns!)

i hope this helped a little bit! please let me know if you have any more questions :)

also! notetaking is very much an individual thing, if something works for me and doesn't work for you - that's okay! we're all learning and just have to figure out what's best for ourselves.

#to: ilyastudies #from: silverfroot #thanks for the ask! #studying tips #studying #studying aesthetic #studyblr #study motivation #university #studyspo #study blog #study inspo #academia #chaotic academia #study aesthetic #study tips #advice #study advice #study methods #study resources #resource #text post #*

[jazzy---j]

CC3... and just my problems with sjm as a whole.

Soooooo, yeah. that was a bit disappointing. I wanna start off that due to the problematic nature of SJM I wanna make it clear I no longer financially support her. When I first began reading her books I was in high school and didn't know much about whose books I was reading. Most of it was just pick up a book, read the summary, if I liked it I bought it. But now as an adult who is on booktok and all the other bullshit (it's a whole mess) I can see all of a book and author's pros and cons and be like, "nah, I'm not doing that." And you know as a black woman, I cannot just be and do what I want and damn whoever it may impact or the consequence. I don't get to live in that world. I feel like I have somewhat of a responsibility to not contribute to the harm that the world already does to marginalized people around the world. That's just me personally, black people are not a monolith and this way of thinking doesn't apply to all of us.

Anyway all that being said, I am a book reader who is invested in whatever story they are reading and want to know what happens. So I read CC3.., but was sailing the high seas while I did it if you know what I mean. And let me just say... yikes. The problematic things that SJM does in real life and all that those issues mean really do shine in this book. I mean I always knew white authors have different experiences than me so I don't expect something that caters to me when I read their books but, idk sjm makes all the problematic things just so apparent. And it's just generally hard to read. There can't be any separation between the art and the artist in this one guys. I'm a political science and history major in real life so I spend my time studying political theory and structures of power in historical contexts. Hopefully, I can work to better understand those structures in our current present and with my intersection of activism (I am very passionate about that in my day-to-day) work to make a better world for marginalized people. So when I read SJM, I see some very troubling themes in her work. Themes that can perpetuate misogyny, racism, and imperialism. And it just makes me queasy reading it. It's not fun for me to read that. The way she used the oppression and discrimination of people as a major plot device, that the heroes have to defeat but in real life be ok with taking a birthright trip is just... a type of cognitive dissonance that I can't even put into words. and don't think I forgot the Breonna Taylor incident that she still has on her Instagram. if you don't know what I'm talking about look it up on TikTok, many black book readers have created multiple videos explaining that whole situation.

Now some people may be like, "What the fuck are you talking about. I don't see any of this." And like that's cool maybe because of what I'm studying I just see it everywhere. But I just have not been able to shake this ickiness in my gut about her work. The most thought-out example of the problematic nature of her work that I have is the description and characterization of the Illyrian people.

Now the way she physically described the illryians is as brown-skinned, with dark hair, and brown or dark eyes. This does put them in a very racially ambiguous position but to describe them as brown-skinned makes me picture brown people who in real life are racially recognized as black and brown people. People apart of brown communities are usually Southeast Asian or Arab people. They are marginalized in real life through various forms of oppression displayed in orientalism perpetuated mostly recently by the United States in the last 30 years (the war on terror, but this behavior goes back so much further). The Illyrian people's cultural characterization coupled with their physical description aligns with the negative aspects of Orientalism. Literally, the illryians are described as "backward", "barbaric", "slow to change", and stuck in timeless, old antiquated traditions that encourage the abuse of women and children. Sjm describes an indigenous people (she makes it clear that the illryians are native to the night court and nowhere else) as "savage" culturally, in their interpersonal relationships, and communally. That is just described as inherent to the people (except for a couple of characters who are "the good ones", or "not like that" and lucky enough to get away). Culturally they are described as being constantly in a state of conflict, preparing for and/or enjoying that conflict. I'm so sorry but that is Orientalism, literally the definition of how Orientalism was used to justify the colonization of the Middle East and parts of Asian during the colonization period and again when the western powers and the United States had a vested interest in interfering politically and economically in the region in the last couple of decades. That same language was used to describe the people of the Middle East and justify their oppression in the West. The exact same words. I did not understand the connection until I took a Middle East: politics and society class about two semesters ago and again that same language was used when we were learning about Orientalism. I went back to read some of acotar again and I saw all of that in relation to the illryians and I was like, "oh, oh no." I really don't know what else to say. To me, the relation is very very clear and makes my stomach just drop when reading it.

And the thing about it is it did not have to be this way, SJM did not have to characterize them like that. There is no real narrative function of this characterization, they are not the bad guys of the story or the main antagonist. In fact, the main characters need them to actually defeat the evil. SJM at the base made an interesting indigenous group of people that could have been a unique culture in her narrative landscape and added to her world-building. Instead, she wrote harmful stereotypes about vaguely racialized, marginalized people that directly mirror a marginalized group of people in the real world. Now was that her intention or just the subconscious influence of Orientalism in our society coming out without her awareness? I mean i cannot confirm from the horse's mouth that this is the case right? She has never actually said this. But her stance on current world events that are happening right (Palestine and Gaza strip) does not give me a lot of hope that she is completely unaware. But either way, this can hurt people in the real world. In the book, because the Illyrians are characterized the way that they are, the main characters are put in a moral position of opposition, that is the the dynamic. And to me, that dynamic is hard to read knowing what I know and what actually happens in real life to people that the Illyrians mirror. it begins to be super easy to just live in that moral opposition that can stripe away people's humanity and value. Azriel's contempt for his people and desire to destroy Illyria and the culture is a good example of what happens to these groups in real life. This is just one example of things in her work that can be problematic.

And listen I'm not writing this to tell you to stop reading her, to tell you what to do with your money, or who to like/support. That is not my job. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and give whoever is reading this food for thought. And hey I might be reading too much into this, and just going way too deep. It is just hard for me to enjoy her work anymore knowing and seeing what I see. I can't really ignore that icky gut feeling.

And hey do I think sjm is a good writer? Eh... that is a whole other blog post. I could go really deep into her world-building, story choices, and what I think might just be lazy writing. But there are some aspects that I do like and are unique. But guess what? The fandom's fanfic writers are the light in the tunnel in this situation. As they often are in other fandoms. they take the actual cool and fun things that SJM created and build on them in a way that does not negatively depict the representation of real people. In a way that is not narratively disappointing. In a way that is just fun for everyone to enjoy. Free of charge they express their talent because they love to do it for however long they want to. Fanfiction is an amazing system that I hope and pray won't get messed up. Like one of my favorite creators @separatist-apologist posted about last week, "I think no matter what happens, we've all spent so much time reading fic and developing headcanons that whatever SJM does isn't going to live up to the fantasy we've created...". And I for real felt that and I just wanna shout out to all the fic writers who make this space fun despite all the fandom fuckery and SJM fuckery.

@separatist-apologist, @thehaemanthus, @the-lonelybarricade, @moodymelanist, @ablogofsapphicpanic, @vidalinav, @vikingmagic33, @c-e-d-dreamer

There are more that I probably missed. So you know thank you guys for making things fun and giving me something to read that doesn't give me an icky feeling when I read.

So yeah, thank you for coming to my ted talk. this turned out to be hella long but you know once I started I couldn't stop. If you have any questions, my ask box is open. Again these are just my thoughts. you don't have to agree and I'm not trying to change your mind. I just needed to share this somewhere.

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #sjm critical #fanfiction #very scared to how this will be recieved #i might delete idk #acotar fandom #just a thought #black tumblr #black reader #sjm books #sjmaas #cc3 #crescent city

[therollinkaagenda]

Kalinka navigation notes from Mega Man 4

The GameCube MegaMan anniversary collection included a few unique features, one of which was adding optional 'navigaters'- hint systems introduced in X5(?) That involve a character calling you at certain points when enabled in the settings - in this case similar to calling Roll in Megaman and Bass, being activated by simply pausing.

What is most exciting about this feature is that in mm4, it gives a ton of new dialogue to one of my favorite characters and one of the series most criminally underutilized: Kalinka Cossack. I intend to analyze and overanalyze every one of these calls over the course of my playthrough; after all, this is debatably canon and probably contains more lines for her than all of the other classic series games combined.

This is NOT a transcript, just notes on what Kalinka is saying during my playthrough and my occasional thoughts about it, and I will be skipping over repeated advice or otherwise uninteresting dialogue, and condensing similar points into one note.

General:

-Kalinka is likely responsible for establishing this call, despite being captured by Dr. Wily. This likely involved creating a communication device compatible with Rock's receivers, masking it's signal, and making it a video call for fun I guess, all under her genius captor's nose. It's possible that she had help from protoman, but i suspect that she did most of the mechanical stuff - after all this game puts her intelligence on full display

- another major point is that Kalinka can see where MegaMan is, what he is doing, and what obstacles are ahead of him- I'm not sure whether she somehow is receiving feedback from Rock's sensors, hacking security cameras and other equipment, or some other third thing,, but either way is impressive in it's own right

- Kalinka seems to know how the vast majority of robots work, but often doesn't know the actual names of enemies. Because of this, it seems she doesn't seem to be reading from any type of manual or guide, and limited prior knowledge - meaning she is likely coming up with the majority of her advice on the spot. This makes the accuracy of her statements quite impressive.

- this will become more apparent as I recount more examples, but this game paints Kalinka as a sort of genius prodigy - seems like she learned a lot from her father, but she is brilliant in her own right too

- Kalinka will occasionally speak as if she was fighting instead of Megaman, especially later in the game (ex: 'what if I used X weapon). This is most likely a series of typos, but I feel like it's worth mentioning

Toad Man:

-Kalinka is immediately able to tell for certain that the wind is strong enough to push Rock around despite him being a robot, before he ever tries to jump; same mostly applies to the effects of water flows later in the level.

-Kalinka knows that the snail miniboss is vulnerable when it's eyes are open

-Kalinka not only has a general idea of what Toad Man's weakness is, but also knows that he's freaking pathetic

Bright Man:

- I don't know why Kalinka is introducing herself now, but I guess that the Dev's thought most people would start with Bright Man??? Toad man is right there???

-Kalinka seems to already know how the enemies in bright Man's stage affect the lighting

-Kalinka not only knows how dangerous spikes are, but that the grasshopper robots are safe to ride on and will move in a predictable pattern

- upon seeing the split path in the stage, she knows that nothing to important is on the bottom path, and when exploring the bottom path she wants you that you may not be able to return if you don't have energy for Rush

- on the main path, she will warn you about hitting the lightbulb enemies and about the falling red platforms

-Kalinka knows that Bright Man is weak to water, and that being in the air during the time freeze makes you less vulnerable to his attacks

Pharaoh Man:

- Kalinka will immediately warn Rock about the quicksand

-Kalinka will once again inform you that jumping on certain enemies is necessary to proceed, with some additional caution reflecting that these robots have projectiles. During the final section, she will advise you to take the higher platforms

- Kalinka pretty much successfully deduces Pharaoh Man's weakness, in this case it's made clear that she is coming up with this on the spot.

Ring Man

- Kalinka knows how the rainbow platforms (and their alternative later in the level) work

- Kalinka explains how to deal with the hippo minibosses, and later that the rain flush ruins them

- Kalinka explains how to defeat the Whopper minibosses, and later that they can bet skipped with a time freeze

- Kalinka knows that the mono loaders will be one-shot by charge shots

- Kalinka knows that Ring Man is weaked by heat, and advises you on how to avoid his attacks

Dust Man

- Kalinka immediately tells Mega Man to hit sheild attackers from behind

- Kalinka warns Rock about enemies launched from bottomless pits

- Kalinka informed Rock of appearing platforms

- Kalinka warns Rock about the Press

- Kalinka tells Rock how to deal with breakable blocks, and seems to be working with Beat (Beat acts as a series of arrow signs in this game)

- Kalinka gives a detailed idea of how to avoid Dust Man's attacks, but only has a vague idea about his weakness

Skull Man

- Kalinka tells Mega Man to use charge shots against Zato, and that only charge shots work on Skeleton Joes

- Kalinka tells Rock that one enemy is only vulnerable from the front

- Kalinka warns Rock about caterpillar enemies

- Kalinka seems to know relatively little about Skull Man compared to the other robot masters, as both her idea of what his weakness is and her advice for fighting him, while accurate, are rather short. This seems to support the idea that skull man was built specifically for fighting MegaMan as per Wily's demands

Dive Man

- Kalinka warns of enemies in the water

- Kalinka states that uncharged attacks are more effective against moby, and that it's vulnerable to flash stopper

- knows that mega man can't defeat the jellyfish robots

- Kalinka knows how mega man operates in water

- Kalinka gives Rock advice about dodging dive man's attacks. Interestingly, she recommends using the normal buster- this may be more evidence that she doesn't know Skull Man, or perhaps she just knows that using the skull barrier against Dive Man is very risky

Drill Man

- Kalinka tells Megaman about the map

- Kalinka advices that Rock defeats a crusher enemy with rapid fire

- Kalinka recommends using charge shots against the blue enemies

- Kalinka gives Rock advice about dealing with the dust shoots that drop rocks

- Kalinka tells Rock how to use the switchs

- Kalinka tells Rock to move when Drill Man is underground, and recommends using a weapon that is 'sure to capture', an odd but useful hint towards his weakness

IMPORTANT: Kalinka seems to acknowledge that Drill Man is the final stage in my playthrough - unsurprisingly, it seems likely that her dialogue may change slightly depending on the order the stages are completed. However, I have yet to confirm this and do not know the extent to which it happens if true.

Cossack Fortress 1

- Kalinka advises Megaman on how he can deal with the local ice physics. She also admits that they caused her to slip once

- Kalinka tells Rock when he needs to use Rush Coil or Balloon to proceed, and recommends using the Rush jet

- Kalinka tells Rock how avoid the moth bosses attacks and counterattack

Cossack Fortress 2

- Kalinka shows excitement when MegaMan enters the fortress proper, and asks him to help her and her father

- Kalinka tells Rock when the Rush jet is nessisary, saying 'all I have is a Rush Jet...', which i assume is a figure of speech but it's really funny to imagine that she just. Has a rush jet. No Rush, just the jet for Rush. And has somehow used that for everything she does in this game

- Kalinka tells Rock how to traverse the spike blocks, and that he can skip some with a balloon

- Kalinka tells Rock that certain walls can be destroyed by the drill bomb

- Kalinka tells Rock how to damage the room boss

Cossack Fortress 3

- Kalinka directly addresses the auto scrolling segment, ('here the background moves by itself') breaking the fourth wall

- Kalinka tells Megaman to defeat an otherwise invulnerable enemy with Dust Crusher (there seems to be a typo)

- Kalinka tells Rock how the golden platforms work, and how to use them

- Kalinka knows that this boss is weak to pharaoh shot, and asks mega man to defeat it quickly

Cossack Fortress 4

- Kalinka tells Megaman about a shortcut

- Kalinka states that Rock is the only one who can save her father...

- unlike any previous bosses, Kalinka gives no advice about fighting Dr. Cossack at all, and doesn't contact you during the battle. This is likely because she is being saved by Protoman

Wily fortress 1

- Kalinka thanks Megaman and promises to use the data she got from Wily's base to continue supporting him

- Kalinka warns Rock that the stage has a large number of metaurs

- Kalinka advises Rock on how best to deal with the disappearing blocks

- Kalinka gives advice on avoiding attacks from the metaur boss

Wily fortress 2

- Kalinka warns Megaman about the large number of spikes in the stage

- Kalinka gives a detailed description of how to deal with the boss

Wily fortress 3

- Kalinka states that Megaman is close to Wily and offers encouragement

- Kalinka affirms the the robot masters have the same weaknesses in the rematches

- Kalinka tells Rock how to use the Drill Bomb against the boss (it's worded poorly but I'll chalk it up to a typo)

Wily fortress 4

- Kalinka losses connection with Megaman, which smells like the Devs wanted to troll players by not telling them that the final boss can only be hurt by the fully charged Pharoh Shot, which would have been the single best thing for the hint system added in the remake to tell you. For shame devs, for shame.

------

If anyone has additional information or caught something I missed, it would be appreciated. While this project may have not been a direct addition to Rollinka, it's still greatly reaffirms much of what I already knew about Kalinka's character, and may be a useful resource for anyone writing Kalinka - which is like, half of writing Rollinka, so I think it's worth posting here.

#Kalinka #mega man 4 #megaman #kalinka cossack #Megaman anniversary collection