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#it feels like so long since i wrote a character analysis post
firefly464 · 6 months
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man. Thinking about Charlie being the one to push so hard for peace. While Cellbit is pushing to win even at the expense of those around him. Something something cellbit isnt even bothering with trying to keep peace. hes disillusioned. He's tried it already and it didn't work.
Meanwhile Charlie has been through the absolute wringer. He lost his daughter he lost his spouse he lost everything. But he was able to work through it because people helped him. He has experience with peace. With community. He knows how powerful it can be.
Cellbit didn't get that in prison.
They're both just working with what they know. And you can really see it here
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spicyicymeloncat · 9 months
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Okay so I have a draft detailing how I think a Ninjago “greatest fear” episode would go down, but it got very long. So I’m gonna try and shorten it.
The gist of it is that somewhere along the way, the ninja come to fight someone who has the ability to trap them in a nightmare (idk elemental master of sleep? Or fear?), and they each have to face a scenario representing their deepest fears. This story would have to take place before Seabound bc Nya’s still kicking and Lloyd hasn’t gotten over his angst that is addressed in Crystalised. Warning, I’m going brutal with the angst :). Tw for discussion of Cole’s dead mother, loss of autonomy in Zane’s, and severe unreality in Jay’s section.
Kai is traversing through a dark dungeon, much like the pyramid from s11, except it’s so dark he can’t see anything. The other ninja are there and ask him to light the way with his fire powers but he can’t seem to get his powers to work. Something mysterious seems to be attacking them because one by one the other ninja seem to disappear violently, while Kai struggles to help. His fear is based on feeling useless, especially without his powers, and consequently losing the people he cares for.
Cole is on an ordinary street. Some people come up to him and ask him favours to hold stuff, like their shopping or their cat. He starts to carry everything and these tasks pile up, becoming more important, someone’s baby, and old person trying to cross the street, a car. He starts struggling under the weight and can hear the crowd of people whisper, thinking he’ll drop everything, when suddenly he sees his father who tells him “Do not disappoint this family”. Suddenly the giant statue of his mother (from s13) falls to land on Cole’s shoulders. Cole’s fear is based on the extreme pressure he feels he has to live up to, as the strongest ninja on the team, and as the son of his hard to please father, and heroic deceased mother.
Zane can feel someone replacing his body. Replacing hard drives and his internal cores and coding something into him that he does not want. He feels his feelings change to thoughts he cannot control and he feels the warm memories he cherished start to disappear. He feels disoriented and alone, not knowing who he is and what he must do. He hears cold voices give him cruel orders and he is unable to disobey being he no longer has that ability. He is ordered to destroy life, starting with a small, helpless bird. Zane’s fear is based on both the fear of having your robotic body being taken advantage of, and losing his sense of self to become purely a machine. It’s very reminiscent of Vex’s control of him as the Ice Emperor as well as his frequent experiences of losing his memories and subsequently his self purpose and sense of identity. Also the bird is his own falcon.
Jay wakes up on a movie set. They had just finished filming an episode of Ninjago, a hit tv show. Jay is confused when the people he thought were his teammates and family, turn out to be actors who don’t even know him. The actress for Nya doesn’t recognise as anything more than a coworker. Jay is greeted by a stranger who claims to be Cliff Gordon, his real father. Confused, Jay leaves, and drives through an unfamiliar city, to find a junkyard. In the junkyard he thinks he sees Ed and Edna, only to look closer and it was just odd piles of trash. Jay’s fear is falling out of touch of reality, losing all the things that ground him and losing the people he cares about. In the series Jay has a difficult relationship with reality, and in times of stress he tends to turn to deluding himself about his situations (like crystalized or s9). Also he also has s6 trauma of none of it happening and also having the secret of his adoption revealed the manner it was.
Nya is alone on a ship in the middle of the ocean. She watched as the other ninja summoned elemental dragons and left, saying they were on an important mission. They left to where she can’t follow because she’s just ordinary, and she has no potential unlike them. And she’ll never catch up. The boat’s training course is still up and so she runs through the course, falling halfway through at the same place each time. She can’t shake feelings of doubt as the sea rocks the boat in a painfully steady rhythm. The sky never changes from its murky stillness, and time doesn’t seem to pass. Everything stops aside from the tired rocking of the sea and a begrudging Nya continuing to go through the course with the knowledge she’ll never pass it. Nya’s fear is based on her feeling isolated from the ninja and feeling like she’ll never be respected or treated like them. It’s also based on her fear of never realising her true potential and feeling like there was nothing inherently important or talented about her, feeling ordinary and mundane. It’s also based on all the times she was left on the Destiny’s Bounty alone.
Lloyd looks at a mirror and cannot see himself. Instead he sees a monster. Curved horns and deadly eyes. What’s worse is that he can’t feel himself. He feels anger, the sting of a betrayal, disappointment for letting himself be vulnerable, for failing to save others, for letting his emotions get to him and turn him from this. He’s the green ninja. He’s supposed to be a beacon of hope, of never giving up. And yet he’s giving in to these emotions and feels himself losing any qualities that he liked about himself. Qualities his family loved him for. What’s left is a despicable monster, unfeeling and underserving of love or forgiveness. He laughs knowing this isn’t just his fear, but also his father’s greatest fear, of Lloyd following in his footsteps. Lloyd’s fear is becoming the worst of his father as well as failing as the green ninja, two concepts that are actually the same thing, as the evil Garmadon is a representation of giving up, and the green ninja is a symbol of not giving up. Lloyd is also afraid of his own emotions and failures (at least post Harumi, when being vulnerable combined with feeling responsibly for letting her down, carried on being an issue for him all throughout wildbrain). This also links to Lloyd feeling unlovable all the way back in s1 when he was literally ostracised from all societies because of his father, and Lloyd feeling like because of how much he hates his father in the present, it makes him more afraid of himself.
I feel like the way the ninja escape their nightmares are through merits of their own, and I kinda want it to be linked to the 6 virtues of spinjitzu bc it works.
Kai ends up forgoing his powers, realising he alone is enough and he’s capable of protecting others with or without his powers, charging into the dark to save the ninja, having courage.
Cole takes a breath and start putting things down and organising how to carry his burdens and making it more stable, having balance.
Zane is tricky bc in his scenario he literally lost the ability to feel kindness, but perhaps he has to let himself accept kindness as he manages to stall himself and let the falcon help him idkkk.
Jay has to face his father, and confront the truth that Cliff is his birth father, and as a result, Cliff guides him out of the dream and into the real world, having honesty.
Nya must break out of monotony and start to explore her other options, herself and the sea. She realises there’s more to the rocking, and the waves seem to have a life it’s own. She befriends the ocean and allows it to help her, realising her hydrokinesis once again, after having the curiosity to find out.
Lloyd visualises his redeemed father, and hangs on to his words of wisdom, to not be afraid (from s4). Lloyd rationalises, that he can be loved, even in s1 when he was at his worst, he was still taken in. And even now, as his father is at his worst, in their last interactions, his father fought on the side of good. Hope is not lost and he can learn to control this fear, using his and his father’s wisdom.
Side note: Wu’s greatest fear would be living in an unkempt monastery alone bc he failed every single person he had ties with and as a result they are gone and he is alone. And Pixal’s greatest fear is not being useful, not being able to do anything to help her friends and family (survivors guilt and loss of autonomy).
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wielderofmysteries · 1 year
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Self-Made Man: Jace Beleren and Representation for Transgender Men in MTG
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INTRO:
A few days before I started writing this, I received a message on Tumblr asking me to talk about my personal interpretation of Jace Beleren as a trans man. Not an unusual request, since Jace Beleren is my favorite character and I mention that I think he's trans all the time. I thought my response would be easy to write, but I started typing and couldn't stop. I realized I couldn't keep it short and simple. My thoughts grew into something much bigger, and much more meaningful to me. (Word count: ~9260)
In this post, I'll explore my analysis of Jace Beleren as a transgender man, why I think it enriches Jace as a character, and how it relates to the topic of transgender representation in Magic.
Disclaimer 1: As far as I know, WOTC and the authors who wrote Jace's lore did not originally set out with the intention of portraying a transgender character in Jace. Everything I'm presenting as evidence that Jace is trans is just part of my analysis. The purpose of this post is not to prove that Jace was always intended to be trans, but to show how my personal interpretation of Jace as a trans man is inspired by and supported by the text.
Disclaimer 2: All transgender people are different and have unique lives and feelings and experiences, so the things I say in this post won't apply to every single trans person. The examples I give here are mainly based on my own experience, as well as those of other trans men I know personally.
(General content warning for discussions of bullying and transphobia.)
PART 1: ORIGINS
There's an inherent transness about Jace Beleren.
Insecurity is one of Jace's most visible and defining traits. From Origins to Ixalan, his long-term character arc is all about his struggle to let go of his insecurities in order to become a better version of himself. There are parallels to the experiences of transgender men in the way those insecurities came about, how he expresses them, and how he eventually overcomes them.
It's easy to see why Jace would be insecure. As a telepath, he can hear all the negative thoughts other people have about him.
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Sure enough, there was his father, sitting at the kitchen table, frowning. Gav Beleren, grubby and balding, regarded Jace with little more than weariness.
I wish he was normal.
His father’s thoughts traced a familiar path.
[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]
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Lack-witted idiot.
A big lug shoved past him from behind.
Jace couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment.
I swear, that Beleren kid…
[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]
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There’s the freak.
The biting thought was the only warning Jace got.
He scrambled to his feet and spun, but he was too late. Three of his schoolmates stood between him and the access hatch.
[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]
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Jace's own father, despite caring for his son and wanting a better life for him, felt little warmth for him. He wished Jace were "normal" and often became frustrated with him. Jace was a victim of brutal bullying that started in early childhood and continued all through his school years. Even complete strangers disliked Jace, and they made it known.
It was difficult for Jace to tell which thoughts were or weren't his own. Jace's constant awareness of others disliking him caused him to internalize that negativity, and as a result, he developed a sense of insecurity at an early age.
Jace's insecurity manifests as self-hatred, feelings of inadequacy, and discomfort in his body and physical appearance. I think his insecurities manifested in these specific ways because one of his most significant personal struggles was gender dysphoria. In an R&D video about Jace's story in Origins, Kelly Digges spoke about Jace's insecurity, and unintentionally gave the most transgender-sounding response possible.
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"Not everybody likes Jace. They see the arrogant self-assured kid wearing the hoodie, and something about that doesn't sit well with them. But I think you've got to have sympathy for the guy. I mean, imagine being a teenager with all the awkwardness that comes with that, and actually knowing that the person behind you thinks your hair looks stupid! You'd put on a hood too!"
[Kelly Digges - Magic: The Gathering - Inside R&D Magic Origins: Jace]
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The thing is, I don't have to imagine that situation. That was literally my lived experience as a trans teenager.
I had known I was trans since I was very little, but I didn't decide to start living life as an openly transgender boy until I was 13 years old– right before I started high school. The day before my freshman orientation, my mom took me to a hair salon and I asked the stylist to give me a typical boy's haircut. My hair was waist-length, and the stylist was shocked that a 'girl' could ask her to cut off that much hair. She was scared to ruin my appearance by making me "look like a boy" (even though that's exactly what I wanted.)
My freshman photo was the ugliest school picture I've ever taken. My friends jokingly called me 'Gohan' (from Dragon Ball Z). I started wearing jackets with my hood up, even though I never liked to before, and I wore hats despite it being against the school dress code. I knew other people thought my hair looked stupid, and I knew this without having telepathic abilities like Jace.
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But my troubles didn't start with that haircut. Long before I started openly living as a boy, I was told I was a 'tomboy' and that I didn't act like other little girls did. Even in early childhood, I was very aware of the fact that some people hated me for who I was and how I expressed myself. I was just like Jace in that way– knowing who was judging me; knowing they didn't respect me; and knowing that in their eyes I was ugly, a weirdo, or worse.
I had always known I was different, and Jace had always known he was different, too. But it's not for the reason you would think. People mistreated Jace long before anyone knew or even began to suspect his true nature as a telepath. Nobody knew Jace was a mage, but everyone knew something was weird about him. There was something outwardly unusual about Jace that people noticed and thought was strange and undesirable.
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Something interesting I noticed while re-reading Jace's origin story is that he appears to be wearing girls' clothing in the art. He and the girl, Jill, are both wearing the same long tunic / dress and shawl; while the two other boys are wearing vests and tucked-in shirts.
I know that wasn't necessarily the intention with this art, but it got me thinking about other aspects of Jace's origin story that just felt trans to me.
Interestingly, nobody in Jace's origin story actually calls him "Jace" except for his mother, the only person who truly loved and accepted him for who he was; and Alhammarret, another telepath and therefore the only person who could see Jace the way Jace saw himself. Everyone else refers to him as "Beleren" or "that Beleren kid" or "freak". His own dad doesn't call him anything at all.
It reminded me of the way my family never got into the habit of calling me my chosen name, even after I came out. They would call me my childhood nickname, "BooBoo", to avoid saying my chosen name or my birth name. To them, I was boyish enough it was weird to call me a girl's name, but not loved or respected enough to be called what I wanted.
Being a trans teenager is hard. It's hard to control your style when you're dependent on your parents to buy clothing. It's hard to control your identity when other people constantly call you the wrong name. And it's pretty much impossible to control your body.
Puberty is a source of insecurity for all teenagers, but it's the ultimate hell for trans teenagers. When the effects of hormones become visible and you see how your body has changed compared to your peers, the difference can be emotionally devastating.
While puberty made me wider and heavier; my male friends, who were going through the other puberty, got taller and more muscular. They got bigger and stronger every year while I was doomed to stay 5'0 (152cm) forever. It felt like I could never catch up– they looked the way I wanted to without even trying. Sure, I could pass for a boy, but they were going to grow up to be men. It infuriated me.
Similarly, Jace's lack of stereotypically masculine physical characteristics was a major source of self-hatred.
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“Hey, Beleren,” said the largest of the three, his booming voice overpowering the wind. His name was Tuck. At fourteen, he was a year older than Jace, a head taller, and built like a loading dock.
[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]
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How small he looked, hanging desperately above the crackling stream of mana. How vulnerable he looked. He hated it.
[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]
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Jace's male peers are described as being significantly taller and more muscular than him. This difference in size and strength made it easy for other boys to bully and physically abuse Jace, which caused him to associate their masculinity with the power they held over him. In Jace's mind, being a victim meant he was weak, and being weak meant he was less of a man. Hating yourself for things you can't control is extraordinarily painful.
When Jace discovered his true nature as a telepath, he realized it was the one way he held power over others. He tried to feel tougher and more masculine by emulating the way his bullies demonstrated their power over him– through intimidation, cruelty, and threats of violence.
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He looked Tuck in the eyes. “And if you harm my family, I’ll take your mind apart, one squalid little memory at a time.”
Tuck flinched.
[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]
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Having grown up without any positive male role models in his life, Jace's idea of masculinity was primarily influenced by the mistreatment he endured. He simply imitated what he saw and he didn't have the emotional support or life experience needed to grow out of that mindset.
As a young trans man reading Jace's origin story, I found the way he resented his bullies and retaliated against them to be very relatable. It's scary how easily gender dysphoria can turn into toxic masculinity. When you need to try a million times harder than your cisgender peers to be acknowledged as a man, taking masculinity to a harmful extreme can seem like the logical thing to do, especially if you're a younger trans man.
Despite expressing myself exactly the same as any other little boy would (wearing the same clothes, liking the same cartoons, playing the same sports), I was bullied by both kids and adults for daring to think I could be a boy. Once, when I was 8 years old, I stepped up to bat for my Little League baseball team. When the announcer said my feminine name and everyone noticed the long hair sticking out from underneath my helmet, the opposing team's volunteer coaches (the fathers of kids my age!) shouted from their dugout: "There's no way they'll win! They have a girl on their team!" Their players laughed and cheered in response.
That absolutely broke me. Their words taught me that being myself wasn't enough. And if being the same as other boys wasn't enough, then I needed to be more than them. I intentionally became a bully. Picking every fight I could was my way of proving I was more masculine than people thought.
Intentional toxic masculinity in pursuit of gender-affirmation is a very common experience for young trans men. Jace and my younger self acted the way we did because we were trying to mask our insecurity. We wanted to kill the weakness we saw in ourselves, so we lashed out in an attempt to feel stronger than the people who hurt us.
Starting middle school let me get away from most of the people who bullied me. It was the fresh start I needed to stop being such a terror. But a clean slate wouldn't prove to be so helpful for young Jace.
PART 2: PLANESWALKER
At age 15, Jace's Planeswalker spark ignited. He arrived on Ravnica with no memories of his life on Vryn. 
In theory, Jace's amnesia would have allowed him to start becoming the person he wanted to be, but he couldn't begin to heal because the scars on his subconscious mind were immediately opened. Being lost and alone made Jace feel vulnerable– the feeling he hated most.
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Came out of nowhere. Some poor Izzet experimental subject, probably.
He scrambled to his feet. People were staring at him. He looked as bad as he felt, sweaty and pale and filthy. He pulled his scarf up around his face and dashed to the side of the road.
I’m not an experimental subject. I’m…I’m…
I’m in trouble.
Fine. Table that.
He walked as fast as he could without seeming to hurry. He reached out, carefully, into the minds around him. It was a cacophony, a mad tangle of voices, and half of them weren’t even human.
Vagrant. Thief. Poor kid. Wretch.
His headache was getting worse.
[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]
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On Ravnica, Jace had no idea where he was or who he was, and he was suddenly surrounded by more people than he'd ever been near before. After losing the ability to control his telepathy, he was overwhelmed with their thoughts. He didn't know any of the people around him, but he knew they thought he was strange and pitiful.
When Jace noticed people staring at him, he hid his face with his scarf and ran away from them. Jace's first instinctual concern was not that he was possibly in danger, but that people were perceiving him in a way that made him feel embarrassed about himself. Even without memories of being bullied, a part of Jace's mind was still constantly worried about his appearance.
Jace's anxiety in public reminded me of the extreme paranoia I suffered from as a trans teenager. Being seen and perceived was so unbearable to me that I went to extremes to avoid people. I'd stay home or hide whenever possible, and sometimes I became so anxious I would literally run away if I noticed someone looking at me. I've gotten a lot better in the past few years, but I still worry when I'm out in public. I often notice strangers staring at me, and I hate knowing when people are questioning my gender. In certain situations, I'm even worried that someone might hurt me if they notice I'm trans. When you're trans and you've been bullied, just being perceived is dangerous.
That initial experience on Ravnica did instant damage to his self esteem. Jace's discomfort in his body and physical appearance was such a pressing issue that he immediately sought gender-affirming body modifications.
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The Jace in front of her was pathetically young.
[...]
The teenage Jace seated in the chair had the look about him of someone who wanted to disappear and wish someone more imposing into his place. His outfit was disheveled, the cut of it unfamiliar. Vraska sensed in the fabric of the memory that this version of Jace had arrived in Ravnica for the first time only days before.
The Gruul shaman's hand was glowing brilliant white. "This your first?" he grunted.
It took Jace a moment too long to answer. "Yes," he said timidly.
Vraska couldn't help but smile at this memory. He was the wimpiest teenager she had ever seen—no wonder he wanted a cool tattoo.
[...]
The shaman leaned over the teenager and drew a line with his finger down Jace's cheek, leaving a brilliant white tattoo in its place. He continued on his chin and arm, and Vraska watched as the shaman diligently painted a braver face on the nervous teenager's own.
[The Flood - Alison Luhrs]
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Tattoos probably aren't the first thing that comes to mind when you think of gender-affirming body modifications, but that was the purpose they served for Jace. Getting tattoos made him feel braver and more grown up, and they made him look cooler and more intimidating to others. All of these were stereotypically masculine traits he desired in the way he presented himself.
In addition to the way they changed him outwardly, Jace's tattoos were a personal declaration of his identity. His tattoos were drawn from one of the few things he could remember after arriving on Ravnica: a set of mysterious shapes and symbols. He didn't know what meaning they held, if any at all, but he decided that they were important to him because they were his.The decision to have them permanently inked on his skin gave him a sense of control and ownership over his body and appearance, which is one of the most important aspects of forming an identity as a trans person.
In his young adult years on Ravnica, Jace made a living as a criminal extorting the rich and famous. For the first time in his life, he could afford to choose his own wardrobe instead of depending on a guardian to provide clothes for him. Jace used this opportunity to exercise more control over his appearance, having clothing designed and tailored specifically to his desires.
The patterns Jace had tattooed on his body would be incorporated into his signature blue cloak. Jace's cloak is the most iconic element of his visual design, and it's important to this interpretation of his character because it's his dysphoria hoodie.
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A dysphoria hoodie is a hooded clothing item intended to relieve gender dysphoria by obscuring the shape of a person's body. They're oversized, loose, and usually black or another dark color. Wearing a dysphoria hoodie hides a person's body from others' judging eyes, and allows them to forget about the parts of their body that they don't like.
It's undeniable that Jace's cloak fits this description perfectly.
Jace was extremely attached to his blue cloak. It didn't matter how hot the weather was, or how dirty or damaged his cloak had gotten– he always wore it anyway. And judging by the fact that he canonically had numerous duplicates made, he didn't want to ever stop wearing it. The ability to look and feel mysterious was very comforting to him.
Jace tried to hide his insecurities for as long as he could, but as he grew into adulthood, his problems would grow and change with him.
The novel Agents of Artifice follows Jace's life on Ravnica from ages 19 to 22. Growing up meant the gender role Jace desired to fill evolved from 'boy' to 'man', but Jace had no positive male role models or examples in this formative time.
As Jace's employer and teacher, Tezzeret forced him to use his powers for violence by psychologically abusing him. Tezzeret had an explosive temper and brutally tortured Jace when he failed assignments or hesitated to comply.
Jace's best friend / partner, Kallist Rhoka, showed a sense of entitlement after the two met Liliana Vess. Kallist felt like Liliana owed him attention and sex, despite the fact that she wasn't interested in him because she was already dating Jace.
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“You’re a hypocrite, Jace. It’s fine. My own fault, really. I should’ve known better than to take you at your word, when it came to getting something you wanted—the one thing I might’ve found to make this damned place a little better!”
“She was never yours!” Jace shot to his feet, fists clenched. “Never!”
“Because you wouldn’t give us the chance!” Kallist shot back. “It’s not enough that you took away everything I had?”
“Took away … Damn it, Kallist, I saved your life!”
[Agents of Artifice - Ari Marmell]
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Kallist wasn't the only man who felt this way. Throughout the book, several complete strangers made it clear that they thought Jace was inferior and undeserving of Liliana's affection, and that Liliana should be with them instead. Other men openly insulted Jace because they didn't see him as a "real man".
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“I couldn’t help but notice,” he slurred in a voice heavy with beer, “that you finally sent your scrawny friend packing. That mean you interested in spending some time with a real man?”
[Agents of Artifice - Ari Marmell]
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At that point in his life, Jace was still surrounded by men who had very toxic expressions of masculinity, but unlike his teenage self, he had no desire to imitate them. Jace feared and resisted Tezzeret's violent teachings, he disapproved of Kallist's misogyny towards Liliana, and he avoided confrontation with the random strangers who threatened him.
I think Jace's distaste for their attitudes and behaviors shows that his insecurity is truly gender dysphoria and not just toxic masculinity. If Jace disapproved of their toxic masculinity and didn't want to express himself that way, why would he care if he wasn't a "real man" to them? Why did he still feel incomplete as a man? What does being a man mean to Jace Beleren?
Jace wanted to do all the things typically expected of adult men. He wanted to be self-reliant, to be a protector and leader to others. He made himself a protector and financial provider to his romantic partners. He wanted to protect Ravnica and accepted his duty as the Living Guildpact when the role was magically forced upon him. He worked with the Gatewatch to defend other planes and invited them to live in his home. Despite all his efforts, nobody seemed to see that Jace was trying his best.
One of the most common difficulties trans men experience is being infantilized because they're perceived as younger. Trans men often look younger than their cisgender male peers of the same age due to the difference in hormones. Less testosterone means trans men tend to be shorter, less muscular, and have less body hair (not accounting for individual genetic factors).
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When trans men lack stereotypically masculine physical characteristics, especially those associated with age and maturity, such as facial hair, they don't get treated with the same respect as other men. (For example, adult trans men are often referred to as 'boys' no matter how old they actually are.)
When Jace's appearance is described in stories, his lack of stereotypically masculine physical characteristics is always noted. He's always described as being smaller and less muscular than other men, and it's repeatedly remarked upon that he's unable to grow a beard.
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Rulan was clad much like Jace himself, though he preferred deep reds and purples to Jace’s unrelenting blue and black. And unlike Jace, Rulan boasted a full, tidily trimmed beard.
[Agents of Artifice - Ari Marmell]
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She cast a critical eye up and down his form. Firm, fit, alert, hair combed. She mentally called bull on it. "You can drop the glamour, dear. No one cares."
He sighed, and shimmered as his illusion dropped. There was the real Jace; paler, hair rumpled, eyes sunken from late nights, and his chin tinted by the adorable peach fuzz that almost counted as a someday-maybe beard.
[Homesick - Chris L'Etoile]
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The text shows that Jace experienced infantilization as a trans man. His sparse facial hair is enough to visibly darken his face, but it's referred to as "adorable peach fuzz" rather than a more mature-sounding alternative. In the story Catching Up, Liliana tells Jace that him looking older is "an unambiguous compliment."
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"You look older," she said.
"I'm not sure how to take that."
"At your age, dear, it's an unambiguous compliment." She cocked her head. "Have you started combing your hair?"
He smoothed his hair self-consciously, just for a moment, then withdrew his hand. He had, in fact, started combing it. Not that his hair was any of her business. He scowled.
[Catching Up - Kelly Digges]
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This aspect of Jace's trans experience caused him to be disrespected in several areas of his adult life. As an adult navigating dating and relationships, people saw him as unattractive and less desirable. As the Living Guildpact, people saw him as unqualified and irresponsible. As a member of the Gatewatch, people saw him as weak and incapable of leadership. Because he was infantilized as a trans man, he was perceived as inherently less masculine, less competent, and less mature. This negative perception reinforced his feelings of inadequacy.
For this reason, Jace was more self-conscious about his appearance as an adult than he'd ever been as a youth. In order for people to treat him with more respect, Jace found it necessary to hide his body with his cloak and to change his appearance with illusions. Jace felt the need to 'pass', and thought being himself was unsatisfactory, especially after he met Gideon.
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Meeting Gideon was a major turning point in Jace's emotional development as a trans man.
Gideon was a great example of stereotypical but positive masculinity. He was self-reliant but not afraid to ask for help. He was a leader but tried to uplift others. He fought as a defender, not an aggressor.
Jace saw Gideon as an upstanding person and a good friend. For the first time in his life, Jace had a positive male role model to look up to. It made him furious.
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"I'd rather stand," said Gideon.
Jace stood up. It was an error. He still had to crane his neck to look Gideon in the eye, and now the size difference between them was glaringly obvious. He hated feeling small. Hated it.
[Catching Up - Kelly Digges]
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Gideon made Jace feel hopelessly insecure about himself.
He was everything Jace wanted to be, and seemed to be perfect in all the ways Jace wasn't. Gideon was super tall while Jace was average height. Gideon was athletic and muscular while Jace was thin and out-of-shape. Gideon was charismatic and a natural leader while people tended to automatically distrust Jace.
Jace both admired and envied Gideon. He tried his best to emulate Gideon's positive qualities, but found it difficult because it was clear to himself and others that it didn't come naturally to him. Jace's presence just didn't inspire others or make them feel safe like Gideon's presence did.
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What would Gideon say?
Jace smiled. Of course.
"For Zendikar," he said, raising one fist in the air. It felt thin to him, lacking Gideon's armored fist, his baritone war cry, his iron conviction.
[Brink of Extinction - Kelly Digges]
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"Vanity?" she said. "That's not like you."
He raked a hand back through his hair, which did nothing to calm its random angles. "I should be at my best for team meetings. Project leadership. Confidence. The idea that I know what the hell I'm doing. And why am I telling you this?" He looked annoyed at himself.
She raised one ivory shoulder in a careless shrug. "Who else knows you well enough to understand?"
[Homesick - Chris L'Etoile]
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Seeing the differences between himself and Gideon aggravated his gender dysphoria and reinforced all the manifestations of his insecurity– self-hatred, feelings of inadequacy, and discomfort in his body and physical appearance.
In his time with the Gatewatch, Jace's vision of masculinity had changed to be much more positive, but he was still miserable because he kept measuring his self-worth against an ideal he couldn't seem to reach.
This stage in socially transitioning is emotionally difficult for trans people. It takes time and effort to overcome.
PART 3: CASTAWAY
At age 26, after the Gatewatch's defeat on Amonkhet, Jace involuntarily planeswalked to Ixalan. He awoke on a tropical island with no recollection of who he was or where he came from.
For the second time in his life, Jace had complete amnesia. Just like when he sparked at age 15, his insecurities lingered despite being unable to remember what caused them. He hallucinated illusions of people from his past life, and his subconscious mind projected his insecurities through them.
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"You've really done it this time, haven't you?"
This vision appeared whenever the man was struggling at a task.
His shoulders were broad, and his olive skin had a sheen of sweat underneath the shine of his armor. The hallucination was looking over the man's shoulder as he tried to carve a fishing hook.
"Listen, you aren't really suited to this task. Let me handle it." The vision's voice was gruff but friendly.
It came off as condescending.
The man was annoyed.
"I can do it myself."
The hallucination sighed. "You and I both know you're not suited to this. Let me handle it, you go philosophize on the other end of the beach."
"I said I can do it myself." The man let his irritation reach his voice.
"No, you can't. I call the shots and execute, you stand to the side. That's how this works."
The man responded by throwing his hook at the hallucination. It went straight through the figure's eye and landed behind him on the sand.
[Jace, Alone - Alison Luhrs]
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An illusion of Gideon represented Jace's frustration due to low confidence in his skills and abilities. No one ever seemed to think Jace was good enough. His intellect, social skills, and physical dexterity were all constantly questioned throughout his entire life. As a result, Jace never got the chance to prove to the people around him what he was truly capable of.
On Useless Island, Jace was utterly alone and could rely only on himself. Jace succeeded in teaching himself to hunt, fish, and build in order to survive. He was not inept at stereotypically masculine tasks, as people had believed him to be. Over time, he grew a thick beard and gained a significant amount of muscle mass.
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"You look terrible," purred a voice from above.
The man moved his hands. An illusion of a woman stood above him. She had raven hair, tired eyes, and a disdainful expression. Her arms were gloved in violet satin and crossed in front of her.
"The muscles are a nice change, but you look awful with facial hair." Her lips curled in a disdainful sneer.
The man shook his head, tears building in the corner of his eyes.
"I don't know who you are."
"Of course you don't, boy."
She looked him over. "You didn't know who I was then, and you don't now. Hard to build trust when neither of us trusts each other."
The man decided to stop caring that this illusion wasn't real. He desperately needed someone to talk to.
"Who was I, before here?"
"You weren't who you thought you were, that's for sure. No one else saw through you, but I did. You were never a leader or a detective or a scholar; you were a frightened child playing pretend."
The man swallowed a lump in his throat.
"You can fool the rest of the world with your magic and illusions, but you could never fool me."
The man wanted to sob. Wanted to go back and sleep. Wanted to starve until all of this went away.
[Jace, Alone - Alison Luhrs]
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An illusion of Liliana represented Jace's gender dysphoria and impostor syndrome.
Despite everything he had achieved so far on Useless Island, his subconscious mind still held feelings of self-doubt. Part of Jace's mind wondered whether or not he was ever truly suited to being a man, telling himself he "looks terrible" and "awful with facial hair". Again, Jace's maturity and experience are denied when the illusion infantilizes him by calling him a "boy" and "a frightened child playing pretend". This vision was an expression of Jace's fear that he was inherently unfit for masculinity and the roles he wanted to fill as a man.
Unlike the first time Jace had amnesia, though, there were no real people around to reinforce his insecurities. Being alone meant Jace had no one to compare himself to. This gave him the opportunity to truly have faith in himself. Rather than trying to copy someone else's example of masculinity, he was creating his own.
=========
The man opened his eyes, and saw a vision of himself standing on top of the water in front of him.
The image had a blank expression on its face, but was otherwise identical to the man himself, standing calmly—impossibly—on the surface of the water.
The man's jaw fell open in shock.
The illusion appeared solid as flesh, and its detail was astonishingly accurate. The man was amused he did not remember his name but remembered the exact details of his own body: muscles toned, stubble on its face, blistered sunburn on its bare shoulders. He even saw its scars—his scars—the little bookmarks of a life well-lived.
[Jace, Alone - Alison Luhrs]
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All the effort he had taken to change himself showed outwardly on his body, and it was very gender-affirming. He was happy to see his muscles and facial hair and sunburn. I don't know how else to say this, but Jace being proud of "his scars" just has super transgender connotations. When Jace saw his scars, he appreciated them as proof of his ability to change and adapt– proof of his survival.
One of the most meaningful and symbolic moments in Jace's story is his decision to leave Useless Island. He built a raft and sailed away, uncertain of his future but determined and unafraid. Among the items he packed for his journey was his old blue cloak, unaware of the meaning it previously held for him. Jace encountered a storm soon after leaving, and all the items he brought with him were lost or destroyed, including his cloak. But he wasn't upset. He didn't miss it. To the Jace of Useless Island, it was nothing more than a piece of fabric. The Jace of Useless Island was comfortable in his body, and had no need for a dysphoria hoodie to hide from himself or anyone else. By letting his cloak be destroyed, Jace let go of his insecurities.
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Vraska found Jace washed up on a rocky island and accepted him into her pirate crew. Jace was eager to help, using his tinkering ability to fix telescopes and compasses. He also used his illusion magic to make The Belligerent invisible during a raid, and even fought vampires with the crew.
People need to have loved ones in their lives who make them feel accepted and respected. It's absolutely critical for a person's emotional health, and especially for trans people, whose close support networks are often insufficiently small or entirely absent. When you feel ashamed of yourself because you're constantly being criticized, when you live in fear of the world around you because you're hated, it's difficult even to simply exist. Having just one person who truly makes you feel safe makes a world of difference.
This is why it was so important that Vraska, the only person on Ixalan who knew Jace before his amnesia, didn't judge him based on his past. She didn't try to tell Jace who he used to be or who he should be. The crew of The Belligerent allowed Jace to be himself, and they cared about the qualities he had, not the ones he lacked. This key difference in how people treated Jace on Ixalan is what allowed him to thrive.
In The Flood, Jace fell down a waterfall and hit his head on a rock. The injury triggered a reversal of his amnesia. After Jace got his memories back, he reflected on the difference between his past and present selves.
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"I wouldn't have had the strength to climb this a year ago," Jace said with a little bit of pride. "Or if I did, I probably would have passed out halfway up."
"You weren't that out of shape when I last saw you," Vraska teased.
"You're ignoring how often I used to use illusions to make myself look like I was in shape."
Her brows shot up. "Seriously?"
"Oh yeah," Jace acknowledged. His expression was unguarded, eyes still red from emotion, a lighthearted tilt to his lips. Unapologetically human. He grinned. "I used to be a coward."
He let Not anymore hang unspoken in the air between them, and Vraska caught his smile as he turned to ascend the golden staircase toward Orazca, one strong step after another.
[The Flood - Alison Luhrs]
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The old Jace was always being compared to others. That Jace hated himself because he could only see himself as an inferior version of other men. He wanted to hide because he felt like he would never be enough. He wanted to be anyone but Jace.
The new Jace unlearned that mindset. He realized the only 'right' way to be a man was to try to be the best Jace he could be. Having room to improve meant he had the opportunity to find joy in growing and changing. He was proud of himself for taking control of his identity and putting in all the effort necessary to transition. On Ixalan, Jace cultivated the strongest body he ever had. That new body made him braver and more confident than ever before. And that new confidence made him happier than he'd ever felt in his entire life.
The resolution of Jace's arc came from his transition. All his life, Jace had wanted people to understand and accept his true self. For people to see his true self, he needed to be able to show them. Jace was able to start healing from his trauma on Ixalan because for the first time in his life, he felt like it was safe and good to be himself, so he lost his fear of judgment and embarrassment. Through that acceptance, he learned to be himself, and to love himself, and to love his transness. On Ixalan, Jace finally became the man he wanted to be.
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Jace looked down at himself.
The tan was real. The scrapes, the newly callused hands, the muscles (the muscles!) were all his. Jace felt proud of his body for the first time in his life. He must not lose track of it now.
[Wool Over the Eyes - Alison Luhrs]
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PART 4: DEEP BLUE
Jace being a transgender man is not just a headcanon to me. It's a textual interpretation that I believe adds meaning to the story and enriches Jace as a character.
My interpretation of Jace as a trans man is rooted in the way his personal philosophy guides him as a Blue character.
Blue's central theme is "Perfection through knowledge." Blue sees the world and everything in it as a blank slate waiting to be transformed. With the right knowledge, all possibilities can become reality. Jace's expression of "Perfection through knowledge" is his journey to become a better person by understanding himself.
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Jace chose his words carefully.
"Existence is adaptation to changing circumstances. The self is an accumulation of what one has learned from those changing circumstances . . . Our agency gives us the means to alter our own path. You are who you decide to be. And who you will become depends only on how you choose to adapt."
[Something Else Entirely - Alison Luhrs]
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Jace's personal philosophy as a Blue character is "You are who you choose to be''. He believes that people are defined by the choices they make with their free will, and rejects the idea that the self has immutable qualities. To Jace, there is no pre-determined path or destiny for him to follow. Rather, he continually seeks to cultivate his own identity through change. 
In my interpretation of Jace as a trans man, Jace holds these beliefs because they're lessons he's had to learn in order to overcome his struggles and accept himself.
As a Blue character, Jace's core struggle is his desire to understand himself. Jace's life has been a constant quest to figure out who he is. Above all, Jace's thirst for knowledge is a need to understand his potential and his place in the Multiverse.
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Jace.
My name is Jace Beleren.
So there was something in there, waiting for him to dig it out.
And who is Jace Beleren? Is he a good man? Is he kind?
He willed away the shape and sat, alone, farther from home than he’d even known was possible.
He’d have to wait and see.
[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]
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Having lost so much of his life to amnesia, Jace has often been unsure of who he is or who he should be.
I've always seen the divide in Jace's life caused by his amnesia as a parallel to the 'before' and 'after' periods in my life as a trans person.
When I decided to start openly living as a trans boy in high school, it was like I was being haunted by my own ghost. I didn't know who I was or how to act anymore because everyone around me seemed to see and speak to a version of myself that no longer existed. But I hadn't died, I was just different. I wanted people to see that I was alive and well. I wanted to make myself feel real again.
Like Jace, I was a teenage boy with no past. I needed to rebuild myself, and I had to start from scratch. I wasn't sure what to do with myself, but the one thing I was sure of was that I couldn't look back. I didn't want to. And neither did Jace.
Jace is known for his love of investigation, puzzles, and research, but his past seems to be the one thing he's not curious about. While he does occasionally wonder what his life used to be like, he's never shown a desire to return to that past. He's never put any time or energy into re-discovering old memories or trying to restore some previous state.
When Jace asks himself, "Who am I?", he's not asking who he was before. He's asking who he can be. What matters to Jace is not who you were, but who you can become.
The past is unimportant to Jace, and this belief gives him strength. He expressed this on Ixalan when he vowed the illusions of his past would no longer bother him.
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"No more involuntary illusions!" he said, and something in the back of his mind rung with magical affirmation. It would not happen again.
He had control over his mind. He was the wielder of his talents.
[...]
Then a thought occurred to the man.
"Who I was doesn't matter . . . because I get to learn who I am now."
Saying it out loud made it feel real.
"Whoever I was is irrelevant, for I will become whoever I want to become."
He believed that with all his heart.
The man realized what he must do.
He was going to prove to himself that he deserved to live.
The man got to work.
[Jace, Alone - Alison Luhrs]
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Jace understood that in order to progress, he had to keep moving forward. Letting go of the past is what allowed Jace to live in the present and to have hope for his future.
This aspect of Jace's philosophy is also an important aspect of trans acceptance. Many trans people struggle with making the decision to transition because they fear it's too late. They may feel that way because of their age, because of their circumstances in life, or because other people will remember them differently. But Jace believes that the person you were yesterday doesn't have to be the person you are today, or will be tomorrow. When you understand this, you understand that it is never too late for anyone to change.
It's in our nature as thinking, feeling beings to want to explore and discover new things about ourselves, but transphobes want us to repress our curiosity. My whole life, I've had to fight back against people who disrespect my identity and want me to submit to their idea of who I should be. Jace shares this experience.
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Baan regarded him coolly. "You were bullied as a child."
Jace coughed on his first mouthful of food and struggled to swallow. "I, uh, don't remember my childhood." A dozen unvoiced thoughts flickered behind his eyes.
The Kaladeshi raised his brows. "One need not consciously recollect an event to fall into habitual behaviors determined by the experience. It is not inconceivable that one could forget their entire life. I would safely wager that were that the case, the subject would still tend to make similar lapses of judgement, and would be drawn to associate with the same sorts of people." He waved a hand, the swish of an ox's tail dismissing flies. "The nature of mortals is not so malleable as some would naively suppose. A person of religious inclination will always find something greater than themselves to place their faith in. A criminal will forever remain a criminal."
Jace put his fork down. "That's a very...deterministic point of view, Minister."
[Homesick - Chris L'Etoile]
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Dovin Baan expressed beliefs about identity and human nature similar to those of the transphobes I've dealt with. People like them think, "You were born a certain way and you will always be that way. You will never be anything else. No matter what you do, you can never truly change."
But Jace lives in defiance of that idea. Jace knows he's capable of change because he actively chose to become someone new. What he once was, he no longer is. Jace's disagreement with Dovin Baan isn't just a difference in opinion; it's a defense of his existence. When transphobes deny our identities, they deny our reality.
If Dovin believes our identities are set in stone, Jace believes we each hold a sculptor's tools. Whether or not you will change is your choice. But you alone have the power to make that choice, and no one can take that away from you.
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She sighed. "I don't know how the Golgari will see me when I return."
Jace shrugged. "You get to decide how they see you."
She looked at him with uncertainty. Jace continued. "How we engage with the world is dependent on how we present ourselves to it. We are continuously adjusting to change because if we fail to change, we fail to survive. By nature of you surviving the hell you did, you have changed into someone wiser than before. By nature of you commanding this ship, you've transformed yourself into the leader you always knew you could be.
"What makes you you isn't your circumstance or your past, but the choices you make in the future. Your ability to learn and adapt is what makes you who you are today, and that is what dictates who you will continue to become."
[Something Else Entirely - Alison Luhrs]
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Jace's focus on adaptation and self-improvement reminds me of the theory of gender euphoria; the idea that gender identity is defined by positive feelings and what feels right to a person, not negative feelings and what feels wrong (gender dysphoria). You can't be happy if you only focus on things that cause you discomfort and pain. You need to find things that give you comfort and bring joy to your life.
As a teenager, Jace hated himself for his weakness. He felt like being tough would make him more masculine. But when he grew up and gained more life experience and new role models, he realized that was no longer what he wanted. It may take some time to figure out what you want, and you may even find that what you want will change, but the end goal will always be to become the best version of you.
This process of trial-and-error is integral to Jace's philosophy.
We ourselves must constantly change in order to survive in an ever-changing world. Jace believes we are defined by the lessons we choose to absorb from these experiences. Every time you change, you have the opportunity to learn something new about yourself. You have the opportunity to see how you've become stronger and see what inspires you to live. That is adaptation. That is growth.
Even if you feel like you're not where you want to be yet, in Jace's eyes, you have already proven your identity just by choosing to walk that path. You can't just wish to love yourself. You have to choose to see yourself as someone worthy of love.
Jace wants us to see and appreciate ourselves for who we are and who we want to be, not what we aren't. You're a glass half full, not a glass half empty. Your potential is infinite, not wasted. If you learn to see yourself this way, it's easier to be a happier, more authentic self.
Jace's philosophy is what makes his character development a beautifully resonant trans story worthy of being true trans representation in my eyes.
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In that moment, Jace noticed a change within himself. The Jace of Zendikar and Innistrad and Ravnica had a nervous energy about him, persistently bored and disastrously introspective, constantly aware of the chasm of absent memory that was always on his mind's horizon. The Jace without a past was present, alert, comfortable no matter the circumstance and ready to face whatever might come his way. He remembered what it was like to be both, but recognized how much more natural it was to be the latter. In the span of a moment, Jace was surprised at himself, and then realized his earnestness of late, of Ixalan, was not manufactured, nor was his mindfulness something he could only access in a state of amnesia. That was who he had always been. He had just forgotten.
[Glimpse the Far Side of the Sun - Alison Luhrs]
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PART 5: REPRESENTATION FOR TRANS MEN IN MAGIC
If that all seems like an excessive amount of explaining for why I believe Jace is trans, that's because it is.
My interpretation of Jace as a trans man means so much to me because there is no actual representation for trans men in Magic. Which is, frankly, really wack.
In 2015, Magic's first ever transgender character, a trans woman named Alesha, was introduced in the beloved Khans of Tarkir story, "The Truth of Names."
In 2018, a nonbinary elf Legend named Hallar was printed in Dominaria.
In 2020, a nonbinary human Legend named Alharu was printed in Commander Legends.
The introduction of trans characters in Magic really ramped up in 2021. Kaldheim introduced an angel who uses Xe/Xer pronouns in the story Know Which Way the Wind Blows; as well as Niko Aris, Magic's first nonbinary Planeswalker. Strixhaven introduced Dean Nassari of Prismari College, a nonbinary efreet Legend. And Strixhaven: A Curriculum of Chaos, the set's accompanying Dungeons & Dragons book, introduced a nonbinary loxodon NPC named Bhedum 'Rampart' Soovij, and a human NPC named Nora Ann Wu, a transgender girl who counsels other transgender students at Strixhaven. The Innistrad: Midnight Hunt story His Eyes, All of Them featured an elderly transgender woman named Malynn.
Early 2022 saw the printing of another nonbinary character, an elf chef named Rocco, in Streets of New Capenna. And a nonbinary soldier named Myrel was printed in The Brothers' War.
Seven years after the introduction of Alesha, Magic acknowledged that trans men exist for the first time ever in May 2022, when the 'Pride Across the Multiverse' Secret Lair Drop was announced, just a few days after I began writing this article. 
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This Secret Lair Drop had eight cards featuring art, all by LGBTQ+ artists, that showcase the strength of the LGBTQ+ community in the Magic Multiverse. This celebration of diversity was beautiful, heartwarming, and inspiring in its entirety. Notably, it also featured two trans men in its art. In the new art for "Bearscape'', one of the men is depicted with scars from top surgery (gender-affirming surgery to flatten his chest). And in the new art for "Alesha, Who Smiles at Death", Alesha reaches out to support a young transgender man wearing a chest binder.
As a transgender man myself, I'd been waiting forever to see representation for trans men in Magic. I was happy… and then I wasn't. Two nameless transgender men with no lore appearing in the art for a Secret Lair Drop is just not meaningful representation.
The first named trans man to ever appear on a Magic card was Klement, a tiefling introduced in the summer 2022 set, Alchemy Horizons: Baldur's Gate. Don't get me wrong, I like Klement a lot– he's a very cute character and I'm glad he exists. But it's frustrating that he doesn't even exist in the Magic Multiverse because he's a Baldur's Gate character, and you can't actually own a real Klement card because he's a digital Alchemy card exclusive to Magic Arena.
Now that we're in early 2023, Magic is set to have been around for 30 years without ever featuring a named trans man character on a printed card or in a story.
Trans men have remained painfully invisible in popular media, even as the mainstream has gotten a lot better about representing a wide variety of people in the past few years. Magic in particular has done a very good job of increasing representation for marginalized groups. Magic clearly isn't afraid of including trans characters, which is why the lack of representation for trans men is so disappointing and so baffling to me.
Not having any representation for trans men in Magic hurts because meaningful representation for marginalized groups helps tremendously to promote inclusion in the community. Magic has a wonderful community and I feel like its members genuinely try to welcome all kinds of people, but others can't learn to become more accepting of you if they don't even know you exist.
When people talk about making the community welcoming for people of marginalized genders, trans men are often forgotten and left out of the conversation. When I see people discussing matters of marginalized genders in the community, they don't acknowledge that trans men are just as affected by gender discrimination as other marginalized genders. And I often see people (even other trans people) use the phrase "women and nonbinary" when talking about creating safe community spaces, seemingly not realizing that phrase categorically excludes trans men.
If the intention is to be inclusive, I don't know why we'd be excluded. It hurts to think that people say these things because they either don't know we exist or actually don't want to be friends with us.
I'm genuinely glad I've seen so many other trans people and allies connect with each other through the Magic fandom. But it's sad to not feel that same sense of solidarity and friendship. When I talk with other trans men in the Magic fandom, we're often lamenting the fact that there are no canon characters or prominent Magic creators / community members who are trans men. We have nothing to celebrate.
I think Magic's story and characters should reflect its diverse fanbase. The trans men in the Magic community deserve to have our stories told. Not only so others will understand our struggles, but so they can learn to share our joy. I want to show others who I am, and that I'm happy to be me.
Jace's character shows that people are receptive to these stories, and that in some cases, we have secretly been there all along. I'm just hoping for the day we can step proudly into the spotlight.
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mollyringle · 4 months
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Laughter in LOTR
My household has been rewatching the Extended Editions of The Lord of the Rings, and this has inspired me to excavate some of the LiveJournal (!) posts I wrote twenty (!!) years ago. In this one, I ran a search on all the times laughter is mentioned in the books, and listed them. It’s a long list—view the link only if you dare. My shorter sum-up is pasted below, however. The grim/bitter/nervous laughter section intrigues me now: I’d forgotten about Galadriel laughing upon being offered the Ring, or Pippin laughing about the palantír. Those moments were definitely not in the films!
Analysis from 2004:
I'd say we have at least three varieties of laughter: the genuinely happy, the grim/bitter/nervous, and the disturbing/evil.
The Genuinely Happy variety is what the hobbits do most of the time. It's also what the other good guys do when in the company of friends, old or new, when they are not currently under active attack from Mordor. Bombadil, the Elves, and the Ents engage in a lot of Genuinely Happy laughter, being pretty much without a care in the world. Gandalf engages in a lot of it too--and surprisingly so does Aragorn--despite both of them having plenty of cares. The sweetest and most touching instances of the Genuinely Happy laughter, in my opinion, are moments between Frodo and Sam: when Sam somehow makes Frodo laugh on the quest (e.g., see that passage about Samwise the Stout-hearted). Indeed, these tend to be the only times Frodo laughs on the quest, and it's good to see that they're genuine laughs and not laughs of our next variety.
The Grim/Bitter/Nervous/Ironic laughter encompasses those moments like Eowyn's laugh on the Pelennor Fields when she takes off her helmet, or Sam wondering what kind of spider made cobwebs like these. I would also count here the laughs I'm not sure what to make of. For instance, Galadriel laughing when Frodo offers her the One Ring? Is this really a funny moment to her? Maybe, but only if you consider it shocked/nervous laughter. Or Pippin laughing after the Palantir episode, saying he wants Gandalf to tell him everything there is to know. I can't imagine Pippin laughing at all that night, after getting psychologically knifed by Sauron, but if he did I suppose it would be to relieve the tension. We could probably put Gollum's cackling in this column too, since it comes of being mentally unstable. Ditto for Denethor and sometimes Saruman, though they're shading into the third category.
The Evil laughter is yet another beast. We find it in places where the movie also had it: Saruman, Orcs, Ringwraiths, and other evil creatures tend to laugh when contemplating the helplessness of their good-guy victims. That's standard fare for this type of tale. But Tolkien also includes laughter the characters fancy they hear in the wind howling off Caradhras, or in the depths of Moria, or from the roots of a nasty willow tree. Those instances are the laughter of the haunted house, the laughter we don't want to hear at night. Cruelest of all may be the Mouth of Sauron, who seemingly can't stop laughing when telling Frodo's friends that Mordor has caught him and the quest has failed and he'll likely die a painful death.
I think I've babbled enough now. You can easily compare it to the films, since we've all got the films memorized. One addition comes to mind that wasn't in the books: "It's the beards." Other things in the film were funny, but only the audience laughed; not the characters. ("In fact, it's better if you don't speak at all, Peregrin Took.")
Feel free to discuss.
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thepythakorean · 3 months
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parallels between the boy and the heron and this painting, plus general analysis
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Arnold Bocklin, Island of the Dead. 1880
i want to preface this by saying i am by no means an art history nerd, i just happen to know some stuff about the background of this painting in particular.
as soon as mahito is sucked into the tower floor he is standing at the shore of an island surrounded by an endless ocean. he is dwarfed by a large set of golden gates that say something like "those who seek my knowledge shall perish" and an even taller forest of cypress trees. these features all frame a white dolmen (primitive tomb usually made of giant rocks stacked like below) that beckons to him.
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this scene immediately struck me since it has so many of the visual elements of the painting. mahito is even framed in the foreground to be so very small approaching these giant, daunting structures just like the boat heading for the island in the painting. besides the tombs, the cypress trees are also traditionally associated with mourning and death at least in europe/the mediterranean. other ghibli movies have lavish european aesthetics tied to characters (howl, yubaba, etc.) but it feels particularly intimate here given that mahito's great granduncle, the creator and ruler of this world, is apparently european and can only pass on his role to a direct descendant. (btw not saying the gaudy european decor signature of howl and yubaba aren't important to their characterization, it def is! i'm just saying it stood out to me in this movie especially.) the cliffs full of stone entrance passageways are prominent later in the movie as himi takes mahito through the parakeet's domain, and interestingly, in the delivery room where natsuko is, there is another dolmen behind her (can't find pics since the movie hasn't been uploaded yet urgh).
the backstory to the painting continues to parallel to the events of the story! so there's 5 versions of this painting. the first three versions were painted in a cemetery close to bocklin's residence which was also full of white headstones and sculptures, and cypress trees. one of his infant children, one of many children he lost, was buried there. the one i posted above is the first/second-- while bocklin was working on the first, a the soon-to-be wife of a politician visited his studio, saw the wip, and commissioned her own version with the added white figure and coffin to commemorate her first husband who had just died of diphtheria. already somewhat similar to how mahito's mother died in the hospital fire (well. she died from the fire but presumably she was there because she was sick) and when his father shortly remarried. these were also added to the initial wip and stuck in later versions of the painting. bocklin later wrote to her, "you will be able to dream yourself into the world of dark shadows". the movie is also very dreamlike-- it's a fantasy world filled with strange creatures, alternate versions of people he knows, and passages that seem to alter the fabric of time and space. people also seem to forget about it as soon as they leave even after spending long periods of time in it like a dream. the painting is also very dreamlike, but why? the warm lighting, maybe not in the version i posted but in a couple others, may explain it, but the island itself resembles the curtains and stage of a theater (referencing the audio clip below the description). even if it doesn't look EXACTLY like that to you, it's definitely a too-perfect little scene in a nebulous expanse of space. this theatrical quality is also shown in the movie by the parakeet uprising side plot as well as the scene when himi and mahito collapse in front of the delivery room-- the curtain falls directly in front of the viewer over them as though a stageplay just ended. oh and a friend mentioned to me how this is a classic hero's journey plot and mirrors orpheus in the underworld. island of the dead has also directly inspired NUMEROUS other works of art, including other paintings, stage productions, and symphonic poems. apparently the painting was so popular many people in berlin hung prints of it in their homes (i do too)! as i stated above though, a lot of the visual elements in the painting were already traditional symbols relating to death so i don't want to 100% conclude that miyazaki was directly inspired by this painting, he may have just also resonated with those symbols independent of bocklin which i still think is awesome.
the first time we see himi also reminded me of the painting. she's wearing a white dress and standing at the bow of a small wooden boat, and though her intentions are to save the warawara from the pelicans, she inevitably kills some of them too. visually and thematically she's like the white figure at the front of the rowboat in the painting. she acts as a guide for mahito (analogous to the rower? he traveled to this world of his own volition but needed a guide) for a good part of the movie and is a collage of life and death. she is a younger but kind of omniscient version of his dead mother; she's known all along she is mahito's mother but is about to be born into the world by the end of the movie and accepts her fate happily. she can control fire which envelops her like how she died in the real world, but is harmless to the touch unless she directs it as a weapon, and as we see with the warawara and pelicans it helps creation but also destroys much like fire's role in the natural world. natsuko, though a separate person from himi, is still connected as a sibling, and we see her wandering into the forest at the beginning of the movie while wearing white like himi, back turned to mahito, and that is what prompts him to first enter the tower. the strange nature of her character that doesn't adhere to a proper time or space parallels the way the white figure completely stands out in the painting, at least the ones with darker lighting. another crazy parallel surrounding fire and wwii between the painting and the movie is that the fourth version of this painting was destroyed during wwii due to bombing, again like how mahito's mother's hospital was presumably set on fire by bombing during the war.
the looming effects of war alluded to throughout the movie eventually tie into its resolution, when mahito accepts his new family that he initially rejected, his own imperfect being, and the fact that one must seek out love to be happy in this bitch of a world. his great granduncle is confused as to why mahito wouldn't want to recreate his own world like him. why would you want to return to the world that killed your mother and rejects you as a person? the world that forces your people to die in war and will eventually drop the deadliest weapon mankind has ever seen even a century from now onto your home? you can make everything perfect here! he's created something of a "paradise" himself, full of lush tropical plants, parakeets, and strange insects (some of them looked like the bugs from nausicaa, another fantastical world of lush nature which is also threatened by war. interesting), almost like a garden of eden, and it so happens to be at the very top of the tower. funnily enough, bocklin also painted this several years later:
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Arnold Bocklin, Island of Life. 1888
i don't know much about this one so idk if it's an explicit companion piece to the island of the dead but it certainly looks like it. the similarities are now less apparent to the movie if there are any, it's much less lush but there are exotic plants and uh birds and stuff. this is definitely more likely a case of shared inspiration from the symbols themselves rather than movie directly looking at the painting. anyway clearly the promise of a perfect paradise isn't real, as this is interrupted by a war of his own unwitting creation, the uprising of the parakeets he wanted to breed in a paradise that literally bring about the end of the world. no world will ever be perfect when left long enough to its own devices. life finds a way! plus, this world was created through so much death (the construction workers in hazardous conditions, the way the tower keeps spiriting people away. btw in the english sub mahito's dad calls the whole ordeal a "disappearance" but he says "kamikakushi" in japanese which means "hidden by god" in reference to people who mysteriously disappeared as if from supernatural circumstances and yes that's the word they used in the japanese title of spirited away!!!) and is on the verge of collapsing from reality every three days just because of some building blocks?? the real world may be on fire but it'll go out/burn less badly someday, and at least it won't completely disappear in a snap, not in an easily imagined timescale for a human anyway. it's up to you to make the best of it, and this is what mahito decides. there are also visual allusions to other ghibli movies about the constantly present threat or consequences of war. the only other landmark aside from the island mahito lands on is a line of ships which kiriko later tells him are all fake. it immediately reminded me of the stream of planes in porco rosso which were the souls of dead fighter pilots moving on. the shadow people in the swamp were also reminiscent of those in the train in spirited away, which are never explained to my knowledge but the given that spirited away's characters are largely spirits and the way souls are so similarly designed in this movie makes me feel that they were also souls of people in spirited away.
through this imagined otherworld, there is also the blurring of lines between life and death, reality and imagination. himi plus her dyad with natsuko (they're sisters AND they look exactly the same AND both are mother figures to mahito) are great examples of this. mahito's mother is gone, he knew this and set foot into the world anyway. he rejected natsuko as his new mother but in going through the struggles of the tower he comes to accept familial love for her and even keeps confusing "natsuko" and "mom" while reaching out to her in the delivery room. a family is made up of different people but inevitably you will see each other in each person. in the delivery room scene we see the paper hanging from the ceiling lash out to attack and stick to mahito like tape, it even leaves red marks on him. this is one of the best scenes in the movie to me because of its visual contrast to him rushing to save his mother in the fire. in the fire scene, the real world around him is blurred and distorted and at times so is mahito and especially his mother. the fire doesn't seem to burn him or his clothes (i could be remembering that wrong tho) and the scene cuts off before it shows him possibly going in further. in the delivery room, everything is drawn with clean lineart, no stylization. there is no mistaking the reality of this situation even though this world is conjured, the dawning realization upon mahito that this person is his mother is so visceral that he actively fights through the paper literally snapping its jaws and natsuko spitting her hatred towards him. when mahito is ready to leave the tower, himi leaves through a separate door to be born as his mother sometime in the past though she is not a warawara and knows what has happened/will happen, an exception that further demonstrates the nonlinear nature of time and space in the movie.
after coming out of the tower, the heron tells mahito he should forget everything that happened in there. even his grandmother seemed to have forgotten the whole year she spent in there (it seems like tower time reflects irl time judging by the events of the movie). anything that comes out doesn't just disappear, it transforms into a real-life counterpart as we saw with the pelicans leaving as they were (presumably minus the ability to speak) and the parakeets going from big bloodthirsty things to regular parakeets. so mahito can't just forget, especially because he comes out changed from his experiences in there, not just himself personally but also his changed relationships with natsuko and the heron, and also his little souvenirs. then the movie abruptly ends with mahito narrating that they left for tokyo again shortly after the war ended. i like to think that this was a hopeful ending where mahito maintained that character development and was able to welcome natsuko and his new sibling into his family while being able to seek more friends and family in the future. i've seen other analyses talking about how this movie was semi-autobiographical for miyazaki and i can see it, how events early in his life shaped his personality and how he had to fight to find beauty in a world that otherwise treated him poorly, so i'm glad he ended the movie on that note, although in less words. pretty similar to how spirited away ended, although there was arguably more loss involved, but still hopeful, and that's what i find so powerful about this movie. and like this movie, spirited away involves a dyad between yubaba and zeniba as a device for the hardships and beauty of life, how they're not so discreet at times. as a last kindasorta tie-in to bocklin's work, i'll point again to the island of life which was created after the island of the dead, plus a composition directly inspired by the island of the dead, a symphonic poem with the same title written by sergei rachmaninoff. the last time i listened to this was in high school and it's like. 20 minutes long so i'm too impatient to give it a relisten now but from my vague recollection plus some quick searches it's a very somber piece that escalates into emotional climaxes yet still contains warmer tones, and goes back to the same "rowing" motif at the end. it weaves together evocations of life and death in one piece, also illustrating how the two really are so closely connected.
tl;dr, this was me the entire movie because miyazaki SEEMS to be heavily inspired by this one symbolist painting i happen to like a lot:
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also also here's a self portrait of bocklin:
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yes, all of his paintings are that cool.
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probablyhuntersmom · 11 months
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Hunter's Character Arc: A Hopeful Narrative
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Wrote this for the 2-year anniversary of Separate Tides, especially since we now have the boi's full story arc too. This meta could come to life after I re-read the one I wrote about enmeshment (link).
You also get my geeking out about cinematography and visuals this round, instead of the mental health angle that I usually come in from. What I found is this: while some fans feel that the writing put him through too much, the frame composition of every Hunter scene - no matter how dark and horrifying the scene is - wants to paint him as an empowered survivor, and root for him, getting us viewers to be on his side in a way that is never really overt.
The way he is framed within the 'camera', evolves as his story arc evolves throughout the show: from being so high-ranking that only Belos appeared to be superior to him, to actively participating in society as an equal, to not only learn from others and be loved by others but also impart knowledge and love to the world.
Bringing his scenes to life wasn't just about Zeno Robinson's voice acting, along with how animators draw his expressions and poses; the camera also has to be placed in certain ways to add to the emotional weight of his scenes (even if in a subtle manner). These all add up in less obvious ways, to get specific emotional responses from us in the audience.
What I remember from the cinematography classes when I studied animation (honestly the only areas I didn't suck in were the preproduction and film analysis modules, everything else was bleh) are some general rules:
1. Shots with characters that are further away with a wider angle, are often to establish the setting (location and mood). Shots that are closer to the characters are more personal, of course.
2. Both low angle shots and high angle shots provide us with info about power/hierarchy, control and vulnerability in characters. Low angle shots may empower a hero, making them look more heroic if they're roughly facing the camera, but could make them appear vulnerable if their back is to the camera. High angle shots usually depower a character, making them feel small and feeble.
3. Shots with a height that is at eye level with the character(s), allow us to connect more directly with a character.
4. These rules can be creatively bent at times, in shows and movies. And you'd also have to factor in where and which characters are placed within the shots, e.g. their back is facing the camera, vs. us seeing them in full front-view. - An extra, not-so-important note: There's the rule of thirds, a rough guide for the screen's composition during important moments, to be more aesthetically pleasing to the human eye (which isn't an area of focus in this particular analysis).
There are so many screenshots I could've fit into this post! But there's the 30 pics limit and I've chosen the best ones I could think of.
Diving in...
It's stating the obvious, but the camera gets closer to Hunter as we get to know him more. When we start out, his presence feels distant, ominous and impersonal, like he's a smaller cog in a massive machine, just someone that Belos has sent out to do his bidding:
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But the sense of his personhood, its importance, and his desire to fight for it, is felt more and more by us as time passes.
A really strong contrast would be this comparison:
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Not quite knowing who this kid is (camera is far away and impersonal), vs. being terrified out of our wits as he appears helpless while possessed, because we're personally so invested in his wellbeing by that point. He has become a literal puppet, 100% physically coerced to do what Belos wants, in a more violent way than Belos previously coercing him to perform his Golden Guard duties using emotional manipulation.
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After he was unmasked in Hunting Palismen, we connect with him and his vulnerabilities, since we can see through the armor (both literally and metaphorically) that he has to put up to survive as long as he did in the Emperor's Coven, prior to his decision to run away. We journey alongside him through the good and the bad.
Things become a bit less obvious when we get to low angles vs. high angle shots, plus the eye level shots.
Low Angle Shots:
Before being unmasked, he appears to be an intimidating antagonist who is not to be trifled with (though Luz manages to hold her own against him) and we feel that Luz is vulnerable to being possibly hurt by him:
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but once he has met Luz and his mask comes off...
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He is framed less and less as an antagonist, and lives out what he truly wants to live out, heroically braving many challenges and triggers to genuinely help others.
This even happens when things are really going south for him, when it appears that he has no way out:
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To me, it feels like we are with him, at his level, as the storytelling aims to respect everything that he goes through. All thanks to the camera height, that can go as far as lowering itself all the way to the floor with him.
High Angle Shots:
An incredible difference would be between him watching Luz from the shadows below, even having power over Salty, telling the audience that he has control:
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and fast forwarding to Luz offering him her hand during one of the pivotal moments in Hollow Mind:
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I suppose this one shot is the one of very few that depower Hunter, and here, his old faith in Belos's reign is being dismantled. But whenever this is the case, it's from the vantage point of a kind-hearted character who will offer him help and never hurt him.
What stands out is, any high angle shots of Hunter do not ever show him being all alone with Belos. The closest to that would perhaps be these:
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But I'd point out that in the Hollow Mind screenshot, Hunter and Luz in the present are watching from a distance: this moment is a step towards his empowerment because he reaches that awareness and clarity that Belos has been lying to him. In the For the Future shot, it's the impact of Belos's abuse - the trauma sustained - staring Hunter in the face, not Belos himself. And while Hunter is all alone in the shot, he isn't completely consumed by anguish, having a support network that's obviously offscreen but nonetheless there with him.
The only shots where he is dangerously alone with Belos would be from moments like this:
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But he hadn't been unmasked yet, and we weren't even so sure back then about details such as his age, true motives and true intentions. And...any high angle that involves Belos never seems to be used to depower him.
The crew took consideration to respect the portrayal of this kid's experiences of trauma, and his development.
When Luz and Willow look down at him, he may be temporarily rendered powerless, but we can already trust that they won't treat him poorly:
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Eye Level Shots:
These seem to be used for moments of uncertainty, keeping us on edge. We may wonder for a moment, where Hunter's loyalties lie, or wonder if he will survive a horrible situation:
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But the eye level shot is also for us to connect as directly as we can with him.
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This important frame from Hunting Palismen seems like a pretty unique Hunter shot in his entire arc. I haven't come across any other shot composition like this which involves him, though I could be wrong. He's standing between a taller scout (and the scout is actually lower in rank than him, yet Hunter can't produce the proof that he's their high-up superior) and Luz who is shorter than him. We may start to sense that he may be less powerful than we initially thought, and there are further confirmations of this in the subsequent scenes. This shot is not quite eye level, yet not a stark low angle shot.
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With regards to the unhealthy vs. healthy mentorship he receives in the show, somehow we're told through the frame composition that wanting to be guided towards the right cause is very important for him, something he is emotionally invested in.
My ultimate takeaway from this is: the writers never want to convey that he is beyond hope and saving. There seem to be far more low angle and eye level shots of him when he is both masked and unmasked, yet different meanings are communicated: control while masked (furthering Belos's cause to wield power in the Isles) vs. empowerment when unmasked (Hunter's own personal agency).
There are a few lovely subversions of what we normally expect from low angle and high angle shots:
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An empowering moment where Hunter is part of something that is healthy for him, instead of high angle shots that are normally depowering for whichever character is in focus.
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This low angle shot achieves two things, I think: not only to highlight how terrifying Belos is, but also that Hunter isn't alone and has Flapjack and Gus to help him (especially since Gus could disarm him with powerful Illusion magic just before Belos charged at Hunter). No matter how you slice it, Hunter isn't dangerously isolated and isn't rendered helpless here, despite being very terrified. This nicely presents an equal chance on both sides of winning this fight (before The Collector is freed from their prison), and keeps us on edge.
And only today did I notice a pattern from significant frames in all the S3 specials:
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Being on his knees. Look at dat body language!! But the camera never stares him down in a condescending, insensitive and detached fashion: it's once again a low-ish angle that meets him at eye level. Which goes to show how much connection matters to this kid, even in the form of us viewers connecting with him.
To wrap this up... When it comes to him feeling like he's part of something larger, we feel so different looking at these last two shots:
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Belonging only to Belos, being owned, dangerously isolated but not completely silenced, reduced to someone whom Belos refers to as "this one", being a breakable "thing"...but later on: finding personal autonomy, his own voice, the things and people that he as an individual loves and wants to nurture and protect, not being above or below anyone in society.
To think that this gentle, empathetic kid's story started and ended at drastically different points.
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anonymocha · 20 days
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[ LONG AHH POST ]
Proud to announce that the first revision of the half-serious full-insane Kaalaa Baunaa Wall is done… I haven’t seen an intensive Kaalaa Baunaa character analysis so I decided that I will do it myself. But feel free to correct me on stuff since, again, it’s half-serious and full-insane.
PDF:
Text version of the important stuff I wrote in case you don’t wanna zoom in or open the PDF under the cut. I won’t be pasting the event story takeaways because they are very long and full of unhinged Mocha jumpscares.
Personality
The following points are derived from here:
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Methodical and steady in her approach to tasks.
Known for her soothing presence and being reliable in accomplishing tasks. Very punctual.
Has a contemplative nature, often preferring solitude and observation.
Friendly but rarely intimate.
Maintains a practical outlook, prioritizing efficiency over aesthetics.
Demonstrates a sense of conservationism, as seen in her choice to mend her glasses rather than replacing them.
Character Story Takeaways
Grew up with an astrological background but chose not to believe in its prophetic accuracy. “To hell with it!”
Kaalaa Baunaa was an abandoned child. She was found by Vaquini. her foster parent.
She often engages in misbehavior and fights as a kid. Vaquini would defend her.
She refused her destiny prescribed by her astrolabe, and doodled over it.
She emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying causes behind events rather than accepting them at face value (or just seeing it as fate).
Voiceline Takeaways
She thinks that people focus too much on linear time and notes its subjective(?) nature. But she has a good perception of time herself.
Prefers Indian food.
Enjoys observing the night sky. She feels connected to it. Human society is complex, ever-changing, and influences her identity in ways she isn’t content about. But the constant nature of the night sky comforts her.
Is humble about her martial arts capabilities. This girl can hit……..
Delulu Corner
Interpretations + Summary of Takeaways
Keeps a steady and level-headed front despite often being anxious and full of doubt towards herself. It pours out when things get truly rough, with dismay and desperation.
Tends to overwork herself and struggles with self-care. She has the incentive to wind down but the guilt would take over her and lock her back into her lab. It is even implied to manifest as an illusory monster that stalks her down.
She held considerably little value towards aesthetics or cleanliness, prioritizing practicality above all. She easily brushed off rat feces in her lab this woman won the idgaf war. She cares more about research routines than things like that, or even more, rules imposed to her.
She may be enabling Kumar... She knows when Kumar is wrong or when Kumar is trying to mess with her but she doesn't necessarily call her out on it. Yes she is very observant towards stuff related to research and the arcane, but can be fooled/lead on otherwise. She may know it but she won't voice it.
She talks and contemplates to herself a lot. Probably a pace-around-the-room-lost-in-thought enjoyer.
Based on her past, she has a tendency to be rebellious and turn her back on certain systems despite being dependent on one herself
For some time, she is quite dependent on Kumar's presence and guidance. She puts a lot of trust in Kumar despite the many questionable things she did to her and the people around her.
(My Insanity) Her tendency to conserve, paired by her predisposition to methodical routines makes it difficult for her to move on from Kumar. And she struggles to properly open up about it or confront it. Kumar left her mark in her way of doing things. The constant nature of her approaches in work/life makes the echoes of Kumar also constant. She would love to break free from the cycle of remembering Kumar by doing things differently, or taking a long deserved break from work... But at the same time, she feels like throwing herself off this 'orbit' is unreasonable, unproductive, and unbecoming of her. So it Rots.
She probably keeps Kumar's glasses, Kumar's bullet, what else? :))
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douglysium · 6 days
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Episode 12 TMP Quick Thoughts
Housekeeping and Prologue
Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(​What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 10. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (Episode 11 TMP Quick Thoughts).
However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.
These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.
Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.
These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.
Episode 12 “Getting Off”
I think this episode is definitely one of the more straightforward Protocol episodes we have gotten so far, so hopefully this Quick Thoughts won’t br too long (but knowing me I probably just jinxed it).
We take in the scene through a CCTV in the breakroom of the OIAR at night. The transcripts clarify that Celia is very tired and searching through the cupboards for something and it is quickly made apparent that she is looking for tea and, since the break room has run out, Sam gives Celia a teabag from a secret stash that he apparently has. Sam then asks Celia out on a date and while she is busy at the moment she does show that she is willing to go out with Sam on “Saturday, 6? under the clock at Leicester Square. That work? We’ll go for dinner- well, breakfast- you know what I mean.” Once again, we see that the OIAR jobs appear to be very exhausting and have odd work hours. I also wonder what Celia’s end goal is. Does she genuinely like Sam or does she see him as means to an end. Is Celia here to help Sam and co or is she here to harm them?
As Celia leaves, Alice walks in and proceeds to make fun of Sam for clearly being extremely nervous as he asked out Celia. Alice says “(normal again) You know it’s rude to have absolutely no game? Christ, all these years and you still ask people out like a baby foal learning to tapdance.” A reference to the fact that she and Sam dated at some point, and how Sam probably acted very similarly when trying to ask her out. Sam does point out “Look it worked didn’t it?” which seems like it could be a sort of double meaning. Sam’s nervous approach got Celia to agree to a date but also Alice presumably agreed to go out with him in the past too.
Sam apologizes to Alice for dragging her to the ruins of the Institute only to fund nothing… well nothing Sam and Alice know about since something escaped the Institute. Sam says he’s done with Magnus stuff and Alice responds with “So you’re telling me that if I had a case full of emails with the title “Magnus Institute re: Samama Khalid – Massive Conspiracy” you wouldn’t be tempted?” to which Sam says no before asking “You don’t, though. Do you? That was just, like, a joke. Right?” Alice then says “Come on, for now let’s just focus on getting you as jaded and apathetic as possible.” Considering that Alice does appear to be pretty jaded about listening to the cases and piecing them together this could be related to her point about ignoring the talkers and not getting caught up in thinking too much about what’s happening. 
NORRIS starts expositing the next case
“Claim Review: EL-56920 
Policy Holder: Soho Jack’s Ltd. 
Policy Number: 548651-656 
Policy Type: Employers’ Liability 
Site Address: Soho Jack’s, 9 Carlisle St, London W1D 3BK 
Affected Employee: Ms. Jordan Bennett 
Date of Incident: 9 March 2024 
Incident Location: On site. 
Documentation: Crime Report – Submitted 
Medical Practitioner Report – Submitted 
Incident Book Entry – Submitted First Aider’s Report – Submitted 
Supervisor’s incident Report - Submitted 
HSE communications - Submitted 
Health-And-Safety policies - Submitted 
Employment Contract - Submitted 
Claim Valuation: £1,560,000 Assessment 
Conclusion: Claim Denied Reason: Fraudulent claim (see incident description and police report)”
This, along with some information Jordan mentions later, means Jordan is suing Soho Jack’s Ltd. They go on to say that their lawyer has advised them to cooperate with Soho Jack’s insurance claim as a show of good faith, even if they’re planning on “suing your asses to kingdom-come.” They start recounting an event that occurred on the company’s property and apologize for their terrible handwriting (which we later learn is probably because Mr. Bonzo bit off one of their hands).
They go over how they started working at Jack’s in the spring of 2021 after they had finished Flair Academy. After struggling to find a job they managed to get an interview and then job at the aforementioned Jack’s. The club seems to have a good reputation as Jordan refers to it as “the Soho Gentleman’s club.” The company’s building “...has dances on the bottom two floors with VIP suites for hire above with a dedicated bouncer keeping them separate. Really, it’s just a quieter box with a private bar, some comfy chairs and the option of private dancers.” Despite this being “THE” Soho Gentleman’s club Jordan says “It’s always booked up with swank dickheads trying to show off, but Stags are the worst: they’re cheap, they’re loud, they drink too much, tip too little and only ever hire one dance for the groom. Plus there’s always some “nice guy” that won’t shut up about exploitation without even bothering to stop staring.” 
Jordan begins to explain how the party the specific party that led to them wanting to sue Jack’s. They state that this specific party’s lot was not the worst and were “Just a bunch of heavyset, middle-aged lads with names like Ozzer, or Rozzer or whatever. ” and notes that “The groom was fine, acted embarrassed even though he was obviously keen and they were easily pleased. ”
“They started giving the groom gifts. Same old tat as always, cufflinks, poo gags, all the standard stuff. Then the groom spotted the last one on the table, this cheap yellow and purple kids lunch box. It looked old and shoddy and no one admitted to bringing it but the groom just squealed with glee and carefully opened it before pulling out a bunch old souvenir merch. Pencils, postcards, keyrings, all sorts of crap, all the same yellow and purple and last of all a cracked CD case. When they saw it the whole bunch gave this big laughing cheer.” I have talked about how I think Mr. Bonzo is probably tied to The Stranger if we view him through the lens of Smirke’s 14. I will retread some of those reasons later but right now I want to point out that no one admitted to bringing the Bonzo CD. It could simply be that it’s a prank and someone happened to grab an artifact or something tied to Bonzo, and maybe someone from the OIAR even planted it there, but it could also be connected to the idea of The Stranger and the fear of the unknown because it could be that no one actually knows who got that CD.
We also know that The Stranger is no… stranger to dropping off or delivering strange artifacts in order to feed on the fear of people interacting with unknown /mysterious objects. Breekon and Hope’s delivery service are a good example of this (strangers that show up and drop off never before seen or uncanny objects and artifacts).
“I could see which way the wind was turning and sure enough the bestman came over and asked if he could play it. The cover had this awful comic sans title: “Mr. Bonzo’s On His Way” and I wasn't exactly thrilled by this.” Jordan explains that “Mr. Bonzo was way before my time and from what I had seen online he had always looked pretty messed up. But hey, it was their night, if they wanted to spend it on some cringy nostalgia trip, who was I to say no?” Which could mean that Jordan doesn’t know a lot about Mr. Bonzo, and lack of familiarity with something is one of the things that we know entities like The Stranger love to prey on.
“This kind of thing happened often enough that we kept a battered old CD Player in the back that we could patch into the room's speakers, just in case. So, I ducked back there, put it on, turned the volume down as low as I could get away with, and prayed it wasn’t too obnoxious. Immediately the cheering children’s voices blared out the speakers accompanied by bouncy tubas loud enough to drown out the rest of the club’s music. It was awful but I could hear the lads stamping the floor in rhythm and as the kids started singing the men were singing along: “Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play! Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play!” If you want to listen to the song Jordan is referring to it is actually available on Youtube: Mr Bonzo (from 'The Magnus Protocol'). Maybe you can put yourself in the shoes of an annoyed Jordan or ecstatic old man at the club.
Jordan clearly finds the song annoying and after waiting a minute, in order to avoid being a “total killjoy,” they decide to turn off the song before “ Derek came down from the office to “have a word.” I assume Jordan meant Derek would complain about the music. However, when Jordan turns the CD player off it “...just grew louder, rattling the glassware in the bar: “Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play!” I even yanked the cables from the speakers, but it just kept getting louder.” Obviously, something supernatural is going on but Jordan reasonably assumes that the player just broke and begins to reach for their walkie talkie in order to call for some tech support. However, as they do so they are interrupted by a massive crash coming from another part of the room followed by a cheer. Jordan gets ready to reprimand the party goers for whatever mess they might have made but instead sees Mr. Bonzo. “It was hunched in the doorway, a bulbous figure with a purple hat that cast crazed shadows in all directions thanks to the club’s lighting effects. Then it doffed its hat and pushed itself into the room, foam catching on the doorframe with a squeak that set my teeth on edge. Its massive bulbous google-eyes seemed to roam all over the room before settling on the groom and it was almost as if the huge toothy grin grew wider when it saw him.” We know that Gwen delivered a name and address to Bonzo and in the previous episode Lena even tells Gwen “I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.” Implying that this could be the case Lena was alluding to or that the groom (or someone else in the room) is Bonzo’s target (but it’s almost definitely the groom).
Everyone in the room assumes the appearance of Bonzo is some sort of gift or prank and “The rugby boys were tripping over themselves to get in and hug it, laughing and pushing the groom to the front and so I figured at that point it was a prank. Again, none of them took credit for it and there was a moment of genuine hesitation, until one of them yelled out “It's ya lapdance, Baz!” and they all fell about laughing.” Jordan is furious that a coworker named Joey presumably let Bonzo in and the idea that Joey might have bailed on Jordan again by “ducking out for a smoke.” But as Jordan moves forward they notice something- “I began to stride over, readying for the inevitable complaints then hesitated as I saw something far more unnerving than the ugly costume that was capering with the groom in the middle of the group. There was a pair of heavy boots on their side, poking just inside the still open doorway. Joey’s boots, and they weren't moving. Just then the google eyes looked turned to me, and a puffy finger raised cheekily to its mouth.” So Joey was killed by Bonzo and all the while “the men had all started chanting “Bonzo! Bonzo! Bonzo”, stamping their feet and banging the tables in a circle around the pair in the center…” and the music kept getting louder. So loud that it began to sound distorted from the strain the song was putting on the speakers.
Out of all the Entities the Slaughter seems to have a pretty strong connection to music but The Stranger also has a strong precedent for music. For example, The Calliope in TMA is an artifact tied to The Stranger. In MAG 024 (Strange Music) it is mentioned that the instrument has "Be still, for there is strange music" carved into the cover of the keyboard. While The Slaughter’s connection to music is probably due to an association between rhythm and war (think the marching of an army or the phrase “drums of war”) as well as the fear of “violent” music, The Stranger’s connection to music seems to come from the idea of either strange unknown sounds or a song / sound that sounds really uncanny. It is noted by Jordan that Mr. Bonzo’s song grows louder and more distorted overtime which would mean that the song is becoming more and more incomprehensible as it would slowly change into a song with lyrics you couldn’t understand or identify as easily. It could also be that the song sounds uncanny in the sense that it is familiar in some ways but something is off about it.
Jordan tries to call for help on his walkie talkie but can only hear Mr. Bonzo’s theme blaring out of its tiny speaker. Jordan tries to warn everyone and get out but no one can hear him over the music. Bonzo takes the groom and begins to “dance” with him by spinning around faster and faster until Bonzo decides to rip his arms off and even as this act of gorey brutality took place the other party goers present continued to laugh and laugh until Jordan’s scream caused them to realize this wasn’t some sort of prank. Almost everyone begins to yell in terror but some yelled in rage and proceeded to attack Bonzo: “A few of the bigger guys picked up chairs or bottles and began to beat and slash at the thing. It didn’t seem to notice, its bulbous, bloodshot, eyes staying fixed on the groom’s body as it raised it overhead.” Bonzo then proceeds to continue pulverizing the body by smashing it against the ground over and over.
“For a split second, all was still but the music just pounded on, barely recognizable now over the distortion from the smoking speakers as those voices, no longer childlike, still chanted the words “He’s here to stay… He wants to play…”” “Then Mr. Bonzo turned towards us with its head bowed almost reverentially and everybody went silent. Slowly, awfully slowly, it raised its head, titling it coquettishly to one side. Then the seams across its face split revealing its gaping maw filled with even larger, sharper teeth.” Jordan admits that they don’t remember much about what happened after that but “I dream about it most nights. In the dream it digs through all those men to get to me, grabbing fistfuls of them and throwing them to smash against the wall. The strobe fires as its hands plunge into the pile of us and each flash shows a little less flesh between me and it, between me and all those teeth… finally everyone else is gone. I raise my arm to protect myself and it gently but inexorably lifts it into its mouth, smiles and bites… None of us was left whole but I was the luckiest. All I lost was a hand, it wasn’t even my dominant one.” The biting was set up previously in episode 10 when the transcripts mention “Gwen holds out the envelope and Mr Bonzo snatches it into his mouth, audibly chewing it. His teeth are not soft.”
Jordan says that they “told the investigators everything I know, doctors too. I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything, why the cameras weren't working, why it let me live. But I do know why there weren't any bodies. All I actually want is my hand back so I can tend bar but that isn’t going to happen is it? So I’ll have to settle for the next best thing and sue you for everything I can get, because I don’t know what happened that night but it was in your venue and no one came to help. Not Derek, not another doorman, no one. So yeah, you’d better have one hell of a settlement waiting for me, or I'll see you in court.”
While you could make an argument for themes of Entities like The Desolation, Flesh, Hunt, etc. I’m still going to primarily argue for Bonzo being tied to The Stranger or a similar Entity due to what we see in his previous appearances. For the sake of clarity, if there is any debate about what The Stranger embodies in MAG 200 it is stated “And as they learned to know their friends and kin, so too did they learn to fear the unknown figure, the coming of the stranger” and in MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” while in MAG 111 (Family Business) Jon says “The Stranger is the unknown. The uncanny.” and Gerard doesn’t correct him.
However, a lot of Mr. Bonzo’s behaviours in previous episodes resembles The Stranger (and The Stranger has violently attacked or killed people in the past). Mr. Bonzo is also described as being a clown. Something we know The Stranger has a precedent for manifesting as, probably due to both the idea of the uncanny valley being achieved with a costume or makeup and the idea of a traveling circus full of strangers you don’t know from out of town in addition to a clown costume acting as a disguise that can obscure whoever is wearing it. Not to mention that Mr. Bonzo is described as a suit, which could very easily connect to an Entity like The Stranger. Firstly, The Stranger tends to have a big emphasis on wearing things like skins and suits. Additionally, Gwen mentions in episode 11 “That… abomination wasn’t a costume. That was skin. It was sagging, it was sweaty!” and we know The Stranger has a tendency for wearing skin, skinning things (such as with taxidermy), etc. as a form of disguise, in order to hide itself, or to metaphorically rob something of their identity.
This also applies to costumes in general since usually wearing costumes or disguises can actually obscure who is wearing them and thus their true identity is unknown. There’s also the fact that costumes themselves can easily fall into the uncanny valley. Ever since Five Nights at Freddy’s became popular there’s been an uptick in horror media focusing on how creepy and uncanny things like animatronic suits can be. Not that Mr. Bonzo is an animatronic but it is a suit. Also, Bonzo apparently has hard teeth and having solid teeth on a suit could look uncanny.
The surprise gift and sudden appearance of Bonzo that others assume is some sort of surprise or prank could also tie into The Stranger and the idea of something mysteriously appearing or not being expected. Bonzo was originally made to prank celebrities. As Nigel explains in episode 10 that his produce ““inviting a famous person on, someone really serious, and we tell them we’re going to have them do a segment with a popular children’s entertainer. Now, obviously these folks won’t have any idea about what kids are actually watching, so we could come up with the most horrendous thing, claim kids loved it and see how long it took for the guest to realize that they were the joke. That they’d been “berried”” and “The problem with a surprise prank is that doing it on Saturday night primetime means pretty soon everyone knows about it, and the guests knew it was coming. A couple even requested it. So the prank part of it sort of died, and he just became an SOS mascot. One of my many tormentors in the dungeon. By the end we’d even retired Mr. Six, and it was all Bonzo.” Once again, a focus on surprise and I think it’s interesting that Bonzo loses his punch the more people know about and understand him. Bonzo is a character that thrived specifically on the guests not knowing who he was and did. So a potential relationship with the unknown again.”
In episode 10 Nigel says to Gwen ““Try not to stare. He doesn’t like it when people stare.” Which could relate to The Stranger. While all the Entities are connected, overlap, and need each other for a ritual bringing them into the world to work, with even seemingly opposing Entities bleeding into each other or having overlapping fears, The Stranger can often have an antagonistic relationship with The Eye and forms of being known. The Stranger tends to thrive off the fear of being unknown so staring at something aligned with The Stranger might make it react negatively. In MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” In MAG 165 (Revolutions) Not-Sasha says this in regards to The Eye’s Post-Change world “Do you know how it feels? To be – anonymous? And yet known! To have all the sweetest dread I can create tainted by the relentless gaze of that damned Eye. I’ve suffered enough.” So if my theory that Bonzo is tied to something like The Stranger is correct, that could explain a potentially negative reaction to being looked at for too long since aspects of The Stranger often don’t like it when people try to figure out what they are. This could ring extra true if it does turn out that the OIAR is somehow connected to The Eye.
Bonzo’s eating and biting could potentially be linked to The Stranger’s tendency for odd uncanny behavior, like that time Breekon / Hope ate a butterfly. The fact that this monster looks like Bonzo could also be related to the idea of the uncanny, since he would resemble Bonzo but behave and look a bit off. Also, it seems hard to tell if Bonzo is a costume or a monster resembling a costume which makes it harder to know what he is for sure, and The Stranger loves playing up mystery (think how we never know which character is Breekon and which character is Hope from Breekon and Hope in TMA, and Jon describes one of them as “one half of Breekon and Hope”). Also, Bonzo can only say his name which means you never really know what he’s saying or talking about.
Bonzo killing everyone in the room but leaving someone alive is not a completely unheard of idea. The Entities in general often seem to leave witnesses if in doing so more fear is generated and we see creatures like the Not-Them kill and replace people while ensuring that at least one person remembers what the original persona actually looked like even if no one else does. The reason for this is because if the Not-Them’s disguise was perfect and changed every bit of memory and evidence then there wouldn’t be anyone to be afraid of the idea that someone they know has been replaced by a stranger.
Jordan mentions “I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything, why the cameras weren't working, why it let me live. But I do know why there weren't any bodies.” which emphasizes his confusion about what’s happening. While confusion is often tied to The Spiral, in this case it stems from a bunch of unknown factors and variables, like why there were no other witnesses and why the cameras weren’t working.” As far as there being no witnesses and the cameras failing to work, the Entities are known for usually being on the downlow and not common knowledge but Entities like The Stranger tend to thrive off the fear of mystery and have a precedent for things like mysterious disappearances or hiding people / things. The Calliope I mentioned earlier mysteriously disappeared from the Institute’s archives at some point in TMA and in MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” Jonah specifically mentions that The Stranger has a connection to “the hidden” among other things. In MAG 102 (Nesting Instinct) Jonah even says that The Stranger essentially hid Jon from him when saying “I was doing everything in my power to locate you. Everyone was working on finding the ritual site.” and “[Irritated] I am sorry, John, that my powers have not yet reached the level of omniscience.” Jordan does say that they know why there weren’t any bodies which implies that Mr. Bonzo probably ate them.
Jordan having trouble remembering exactly what happened actually does have a precedent with The Stranger since the Entity does have connections to memory loss or a loss of identity. In MAG 165 (Revolutions) we see Not-Sasha watch over a Domain that takes the form of a merry-go-round with people fighting over faces. People with no faces must fight over the faces of others to rip them off and regain some sense of identity. When they lose their face it is said “And soon enough they will forget they ever even had one, rest assured; it’s best to step the dance and keep your face secured as much as you are able. Just. Keep. Running.” Jon and co also face memory loss when they interrupt The Stranger’ ritual in TMA and forget who they are and what they are doing for a period of time.
Some other Entities this statement parallels are that of The Slaughter (with sudden brutal and gory violence), The Flesh (via bodily disfigurement by way of losing a hand, Bonzo being described as releasing “some vile mixture of putrid water, rotten foam and rancid meat.” when cut at some point, and Bonzo biting into people), The End (a lot of people brutally die), The Corruption (from the aforementioned vile mixture pouring out of Bonzo), and even The Eye (with the strange and horrifying dreams Jordan is forced to relive over and over resembling how people who give Jon live statements are forced to relive said moments in the form of nightmares over and over). Like always, I have to at least touch on the fact that The Eye doesn’t seem to just be the fear of being watched but also being a witness to something you don’t want to see. Jon can force people to recount and relive terrible moments, Jonah can force information into the heads of people like Melanie and Martin, and in MAG 200 The Eye is stated to have been born from the fear of one’s own eyes showing them too much.
All this being said, I still think the OIAR is somehow connected to The Eye. There’s the cases being like statements but also the fact that they supply sensitive information (such as names and locations) to things like Mr. Bonzo. People like Jonah could almost always know one’s location thanks to their Eye powers and The Eye is connected to the fear of someone / something knowing too much about you (such as knowing where and who you are). I wonder why Bonzo was sent to kill this particular groom when he was just partying? Did the groom know something or overstep some line or was the groom just some sort of offering to appease Mr. Bonzo? How was this person’s name and address obtained? Was it just mundane tracking or something closer to Jonah’s clairvoyance? Nigel acted like he was doing the OIAR a favor so right now it seems like this was a target decided by the OIAR and not necessarily Nigel. Unless you want to argue that the “favor” is aiding in keeping Bonzo pacified, under wraps, or something potentially more mutually beneficial. I wonder if Jordan’s dreams are somehow connected to being directly involved in a case or facing an External of the OIAR? It could also simply be that Jordan is traumatized.
We cut to Gwen and the transcripts say she “is sat at her desk, stunned by what she has just heard.” and she only says “Jesus Christ…” I wonder if this is because the case is unusually brutal or gorey when compared to most others or if she realized there’s a connection between the letter she delivered and what happens in this case. Considering what Lena said it's very possible that some of the cases the OIAR gets are connected to the activity of their own Externals (such as Mr. Bonzo).
ALICE CONT. 
“Gwen? Hello?”
GWEN 
“(dazed) What?”
Getting sucked into a statement like this and statements having a negative impact on one’s mental state are both things we have seen in TMA. Jon had a hard time stopping once he started a statement and at one point Jon expresses worry that Martin was listening to a bunch of statements for Peter Lukas and his plan in regards to The Extinction. Although, it could be that Gwen is merely shocked.
Gwen explains that she met one of the Externals but Alice seems to think Gwen is just referring to some annoying assholes as opposed to any supernatural monsters that takes the form of beloved childhood characters.
Gwen seems to finally wonder the question that I’ve been wondering for a while now:
GWEN 
“What do you think we’re actually doing, here at the O.I.A.R.?” 
ALICE 
“Apart from mortgaging our mental health for a wage packet?” 
GWEN 
“We’ve both been here long enough to know this place. We’re not doing good. We’re not just sifting random data. There’s something wrong here.”
ALICE 
“What are you getting at?”
GWEN 
“You never wonder what the point is? Who benefits from all this awfulness?”
ALICE 
“I don’t wonder. I know.”
GWEN 
(sitting up) “What? Really?”
ALICE 
“(portentous) Oh yeah. I’ve known for a while. What we’re doing here, it’s all part of a grand plan to satisfy one of the most unspeakable evils known to mankind... “
Gwen’s on the edge of her seat. 
ALICE 
“(almost a whisper) …the UK government.”
In TMA the point of the Institute sifting through statements and stuff was twofold. Firstly, to feed The Eye but also to set up the lynchpin for The Eye’s ritual with the position of the Archivist. I wonder if something similar is going on here but I can’t say since while you could argue that being an Externals Liaison is like the Archivist and shares the role as being a “living chronicle of fear” (especially since Lena remarked that Gwen should show fear via screaming because Externals tend to like that) Gwen had to blackmail her way into that position. I have no idea who was the Externals Liaison before her or if there are other Liaisons, if there even was one(s) before / with Gwen at all. Also, unlike the Institute, the OIAR is explicitly connected to the government and is meant to respond to things (not just watch). So it’s very likely that the OIAR has a role that is different from just “The Mass Ritual / Institute 2.0.” They could still be gathering fear related to the statements and being observed like the Institute in TMA though. However, even the Institute still wanted the Archival staff to do a good job following up statements and stuff. Jon tries to reorganize the Archives after Gertrude purposefully left them disorganized and Tim corrects Jon about some errors he made when reading some statements. The OIAR doesn’t really seem to care how well or poorly their workers categorize the cases and I don’t know if anyone checks.
Alice’s joke about the greatest evil known to mankind being the UK government feels like foreshadowing considering that the OIAR, and by extension all the Externals like Bonzo, are connected to the government.
Alice’s comment “Apart from mortgaging our mental health for a wage packet?” references how stressful this job seems to be.
Conclusion
Yeah, idk. This was a very simple episode overall and it mostly just seemed like it was following up Lena’s point about paying attention to the caseload.
Okay, hold on, before I end this I figured I should actually try to look at the voices in the computer system a bit more closely, since quite frankly, like with the alchemy symbols, I’ve admittedly been neglecting them and not focusing on them as much as I should have. This is because I actually couldn’t tell if there was any kind of correlation between the voices and the kinds of cases they read but a video by Maddie’s Maxis called “This Channel's First Video - The Magnus Protocol Analysis and Theories” (which you can view here This Channel's First Video - The Magnus Protocol Analysis and Theories) hypothesizes that there is actually a correlation. As we all know two of the computer voices sound like Martin and Jon and Maddie argues that the kinds of statements the voices read correspond to something that had to do with the character. For example, in theory NORRIS (Martin’s voice) tends to have statements relating to self-loathing and loneliness. I don’t know what they are feeding Maddie but Maddie is potentially cooking here. So I decided to glance over at some of the statements and see if there are any patterns.
I’m going to start with the theme that seems the most concrete in my opinion. The cases that NORRIS (Martin’s voice) reads seem to often be tied to themes of isolation, losing loved ones, or feeling abandoned. I should make it clear that while I know Martin in TMA is connected to The Lonely I am not saying all the cases NORRIS reads are connected to The Lonely. The mere presence of feeling alone or isolated doesn’t automatically make a statement Lonely related in the same way someone dying, getting attacked, or something taking place at night or in darkness automatically means End, Slaughter, or Dark respectively. Also, it’s important to remember that every Entity, even seemingly opposing ones, have overlap, shared fears, commonalities, etc..
But let’s look at the cases to see if this pattern is really there. The case NORRIS covers in episode 1 involves the Anglerfish, or something resembling it, killing and replacing their romantic partner. Harriet even says “And that voice I have loved for twenty years answered: “Some of him.”” So loss of a loved one.
In episode 3 NORRIS covers a case in which Dr. Samuel seems to feel immense guilt and sorrow about the death of Maddie. Once again, the loss of a close loved one.
In episode 8 NORRIS goes over a report Terrance submits about the effects of brutal liminalism. While no one dies or is replaced in the actual events of the case, Terrance does mention “originally took my role as a night janitor at Forton following a protracted divorce which cost me the majority of my friendships.” So while their partner isn’t dead they did lose a loved one, and if you read my thoughts on that episode you know that I actually think the case has a lot of similarities with The Lonely. The fog, the vaguely familiar but impossible to understand gibberish, people with repeating features, being isolated in a dark void, etc.. Even if you disagree that it’s The Lonely there is still a connection to themes of losing someone close and being alone.
If there was an episode to disprove this theory it would probably be episode 12 since it’s just Bonzo murdering a room full of people. Jordan does say “I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything” and earlier in the case they mention that they believed their coworker by the name of Joey the doorman might have ditched him again but this definitely feels a bit more like a stretch. Jordan does seem to blame the establishment for what happened and this is because from the perspective of Jordan no one came to help despite how obvious and loud the commotion was. Which could maybe tie into the idea of being abandoned or left alone but this is definitely pushin it and it’s clear that our understanding of what kinds of cases each voice reads might expand as the series goes on.
Maddie argues that CHESTER (Jonathon’s voice) seems to usually cover cases related directly to the Magnus Institute. Which is generally true, CHESTER covers the cases of RedCanary spelunking in the Institute’s ruins in episode 1, and the gambling dice being submitted to the Institute in episode 9 for example. But CHESTER also covers the case about Tom wanting to watch Voyeur in episode 5, the case regarding Hilltop Center in episode 7, Gordon’s encounter with the tattoos and Ink5 during construction in episode 11. It’s very possible that these are just related to the Institute in ways we don’t understand yet, for example some of the characters that appear could be members of the Institute or something, but in my opinion this definitely throws a wrench into some things.
CHESTER seems to have a stronger case for a theme of curiosity and a desire to know in general as opposed to just the Magnus Institute. RedCanary investigates the archives out of curiosity, Tom really wants to see the Voyeur movie for their blog, the narrator explains that they experimented with the gambling dice to figure out how they worked, and Gordon keeps talking about how they “just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” As I’ve mentioned previously, The Eye also has a major emphasis on a desire to know and understand something even if it comes at the cost of yourself and / or other people. Hilltop Center still seems like a bit of an outlier here but while Dianne isn’t spelunking through ruins or anything she does mention that she was looking for people to help her work at the center. Which, while a bit of a stretch, could fit with a theme of curiosity or desire to know in the case of Chester. Or at least the idea of something being searched for as a theme at least. 
If you wanted to argue that CHESTER actually related to things being looked for you could say that the case about the gambling dice revolves around the narrator giving the Institute artifacts, and they even say “So yeah, I tell you all about them, how I got them, all that crap and you just… You take them away, right? You accept them? Good. I think. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. It’s how it worked for me, at least. Put them in whatever vault you like, bury them, drop them in the ocean, for all I care. All that matters is that they’re yours now.” So you could say that the Institute was looking for artifacts. You could also argue that the narrator was looking for people to roll the dice, looking for good luck, or started making their way towards Gary when they found him.
AUGUSTUS has a voice I am not familiar with (and we will get to the popular theory in a moment). I can only recall AUGUSTUS voicing one case, I might be forgetting one or something, so I don’t have a lot to go on. AUGUSTUS could be covering really old statements, as Sam notes the one in episode 4 is from the 18th century, or statements revolving around others climbing their way to their top and doing whatever it takes to do so. It’s kind of unclear until I can see some more AUGUSTUS statements.
There’s also some obvious character associations with this theory. Martin, someone connected to The Lonely, has statements reflecting some kind of isolation or abandonment, Jon, the Archivist with a strong tie to The Eye and someone who was strung along while trying to solve Jonah’s plan and learn the truth about the Entities, has statements involving extreme curiosity or people looking for things, and Jonah, someone who is really old and ruthless (so ruthless that they made the world a fear hellscape in an attempt to avoid death), has had a statement taking place in the 18th century involving someone giving a blood sacrifice to play violin super well.
There’s a popular theory going around that the three voices in the computers are actually Jonathon, Martin, and Jonah, and this definitely seems like one of the more credible theories floating around the community to a degree. AUGUSTUS’ unfamiliar voice could be the voice of Jonah’s original body. Jon, Martin, and Jonah were all in the panopticon when the Change ended which could be the event that got them tied to the computers. It could also have to do with being the pupil of the Eye somehow. Jonah and Jon were both the Eye’s pupil at some point and Jon got his position by killing Jonah to take his spot. It’s possible something weird happened like Martin was about to become the Eye’s pupil after removing Jon from the position, giving them this common link, but I can’t say for sure.
Maddie also points out another big thing to remember in the video. I have mentioned that Annabelle seems generally right about what happens to the Entities’ various Monsters and Avatars after the Entities get pulled into the next universe. Monsters, like potentially the Anglerfish, presumably get sucked into the new universe since they are part of the Entities. Other people may or may not get sucked into the universe depending on how attached they were to the Entity. It’s also possible that they will always just be left behind. However, Annabelle also mentions that it’s possible the Entities will take the aspects of a person that are connected to or are a part of the Entity. So, it’s possible that the parts of Jon, Martin, and Jonah in the computer are not them in their entirety but merely specific aspects of their personality or being. It could literally just be their voices taken by one or more Entities for all we know.
We also know that some Entities, like The End, seem capable of making copies or “memories” of people after / when they die. In MAG 154 (Bloody Mary) Eric states “I know that I’m not really Eric; I’m just a memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time. I don’t like it.” So one could argue that the voices in the computers are not the fully sentient original versions of Jon, Martin, and Jonah but “memories” or copies created by one or more Entities. This could also explain why the third voice might be Jonah even though Jonah potentially died before the Entities jumped universes. This voice could simply be The Eye’s metaphorical recollection of Jonah or Jonah wasn’t completely dead when the Entities switched universes. This also means that the voices in the computers could be more malicious than we first assume if there’s a chance they are in actuality not Jon, Martin, and Jonah or are in truth aspects of The Eye or bits of their personalities trying to achieve a specific goal.
As I’ve mentioned previously, the cases the voices read out don’t seem to be completely random. The second Sam is about to give up his search for the Magnus Institute CHESTER spits out a case that is perfect for reigniting his curiosity with the addition of a new clue, and when Celia takes the job the first case she gets is about Hilltop Center (which could relate to Celia’s questions about multiversal and time travel). I still can’t say if the CHESTER or any other of the computers are trying to help Sam or use him for more nefarious purposes.
I’m not super confident about this being the patterns the computers follow at the moment because frankly there isn’t a lot of cases to go off of, and I need to see more AUGUSTUS. It’s also possible that the cases are more variable or context dependant. What the voices read could depend on the person at the computer, for example: it’s possible CHESTER reads a bunch of cases connected to the Institute because that’s what Sam was most interested in. There are also some cases we don’t have enough context behind yet, for example the mysterious figure in the Hilltop Road case could be connected to something like the Institute in some way, or that some of the voices focus on certain Externals Liaisons, people, etc..
If you want another TMAGP theory video to watch here’s one by Pinkelotje: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX51EHLy7BQ&ab_channel=pinkelotje.
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utilitycaster · 6 months
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(Long ask warning)
Hello! I'm jumping on the appreciation train to say thank you so much for all of your meta and analysis! I just found your blog today, and you've already given me so much clarity and context for things I've been noticing in the CR fandom lately.
I quite literally spent my summer living under a rock (in the woods leading spelunking for scouts!) and so was completely out of the loop from early June through September. And while I am not yet caught up (I'm about to start ep. 65), I have been going through the tags and ao3, because I primarily engage with fandom through fic and I don't care about spoilers. And I can't help but notice that everything being written for c3 lately is just... monochromatic. The Hells have such interesting characters and premises. One would think they're ripe for creative and interesting fic. And yet even what little gen fic that I have seen since returning to civilization has largely been boiled down to reiterative mush with vaguely shippy overtones. I can totally see this being indicative of the cresting and waning of the Imodna and Callowmore shipping you've been discussing.
I've gotta ask though, is it really just shipping that is causing this problem? Or is there something else in the source material that you think could be affecting fic in particular?
This is the first time I've been in a fandom with ongoing source material in over a decade. I'm used to watching people beat dead horses in their own little corner, safe in the knowledge that I can block them and it isn't going to affect my experience in the slightest. I guess I'm just having a hard time believing/remembering that shipping can be this incidious.
So a couple of things: first, I was not heavily involved in fandom until Critical Role; I have a decent amount of background knowledge from being on Tumblr and because I do tend to look into/research this kind of thing because it's very interesting to me, but you will probably have better snapshot of what fandom looked like 10 years ago than I do. Second, fanfic has always been a tiny aspect of what I've engaged with and I do find the bulk of it to be dull and samey (which is why it is a tiny aspect), so again, you probably are a better judge of the quality of fanfic elsewhere.
With that said, as part of a much larger discussion of which I only have as mentioned pieces of the puzzle, I do think there's been a shift over the past decade or so of like...people expecting the source material to reflect fanfic-y desires, and resenting it when it does not; people not seeing the point in enjoying non-canon ships; and a broader theme of self-infantilization. This has to a small extent spilled over into published fiction, though thankfully there's plenty that isn't that. It's not just shipping (though that absolutely can be insidious to the point that people have been harassed and doxxed over it); I think it's a general taste for pablum that has been growing within fandom spaces.
I'll link a few posts I've made and a source that, while I cannot vouch for it per se I did read and found enlightening at the end but I think a really indicative example as of late was the fandom response to the show Good Omens (spoilers for Good Omens S2 in the next link if you are by any chance avoiding those). Obviously do not do anything obnoxious to the person who wrote this question, but there are a worrying number of people in fandom spaces who believe this unironically and uncritically: fiction exists to "save us from hurtful reality." And I do understand that the tumultuous politics and world events of the past decade are probably a factor; but I mean, have you looked at literature from the first half of the 20th century (or like. the second half, for that matter)? It is, in my opinion, only going to help put our modern world and issues in better context and honestly make you feel better in the long run if you read, say, The Great Gatsby or The Things They Carried instead of burying your head in lower case song lyrics ... (hurt/comfort, fix-it, happy ending, 6k) and like, to be clear, I have written a small portion of lower case song lyric-titled fics myself but most of them aren't terribly happy, and even so, god I'd be horrified if that was all people were reading.
We've seen it across fandom at large with the polls; I have not watched season 2 of Our Flag Means Death in part because I've realized with horror that this mentality has swept, plague-like, through that fandom; people are acting like having a canon queer ship on a small premium cable show in 2022 is world-changing and unprecedented while also kind of ignoring everything that isn't the central ship (including valid criticisms of how this takes a real-world plantation owner and turns him into a goofy fop, how there's precious few female characters and none in the main cast, and how the actually far more groundbreaking nb character is pushed aside in favor of the core M/M ship). Spoilers for Good Omens again (sorry in advance, Good Omens 2 was a realization point for me how deeply and widely this rot has set in in some places and I have a bunch of sources of people being like "guys stories require conflict and tension to be good" in response to the overwrought moaning that the story wasn't unambiguously happy) but this is another author responding to the "the desired endpoint of all fiction is obviously to have your ship living in a small house together in bliss and anything else is torment" mentality.
In addition to shipping another factor is, I think, people overidentifying with characters and as such being reluctant to actually put them through any sort of hardship, however minor. I recently reblogged a post about the origin of the concept "Mary Sue" and it led me to read a bit about its history, because it was in fact created by women. It was a woman in the Star Trek fandom who was sick of spending money to buy fanzines (pre-common home internet, let alone pre-Ao3) only to find the vast majority of the stories to be this "here is my self-insert who is perfect and beautiful and pure and every other character thinks she is the greatest even if that's entire OOC". It was a frustration with the abandonment of the characterizations in the original work. And that's true today - I have read a popular Imogen and Laudna fluff fic to see what the deal was and it stripped out so much of their premises and characterizations it was unrecognizeable as them but for the hair colors and occasional cringeworthy attempts to replicate Southern US dialect - but what was notable is that those people were at least being honest and writing OCs (though to be fair a lot of them were also young white teen girls and the only woman in TOS was black and that was probably also a factor). Now, you get people who cannot tolerate any analysis of characters that is less than flattering because instead of having an OC, they are identifying so strongly with, for example, Imogen or Ashton, that they cannot separate out the real character or understand this is not an attack on them (or, to be blunt, as someone who sees some of my own worse traits in both those characters, a necessary critique). It's not shipping, but it is that same "fiction should only ever be a soft blanket or a flattering mirror, never a dark mirror and certainly never a door" mentality.
I do place a little blame on fanfiction itself; I think having something that is roughly made to order and tells you exactly what it is up front means people start to think that is the only way, and that's why we have people claiming Chipotle is the height of cuisine while making gagging noises at the authentic Mexican restaurant except for fiction. I think fanfiction can be great; it's fun to write and I have read some great pieces. But a lot of it is mush and formulaic and as that Mary Sue history points out, always has been.
So anyway, to Bells Hells: I think past campaigns also had a lot of dull fanfiction; I think the Nein lent themselves more to poorly written angst than poorly written fluff but yeah a lot of that was really samey and bland in its own way. Fanfiction has always been formulaic to a degree but I think we're starting to see the generation of people who really have read more of that than like, books, and sure there are shitty books, but man there's a LOT of shitty fanfiction, and increasingly, I find that shitty published books are bad because they're too much like fanfiction. [If I get the chance today I have a post I want to write about the ignorance of fantasy tropes in the current fandom which I think is also driving some of this and which I alluded to in my post about shipping; like, I feel the almost automatic but oddly thought-free resistance to gods and fate and the 'right' way to respond to a tragic backstory comes from this ignorance; this also is a case in the D20 fandom when they've dipped into sci fi.] Shipping definitely is a factor, and I think again C3 has an influx of fans primarily here to ship in that "my ship must become canon and must 'win' for some arbitrary definition thereof" which is probably why so much of the fanfic sucks, but again, this is a larger self-infantilizing and entitled mentality that goes beyond mere ships.
Further reading (mostly my own posts but not exclusively)
The fandom echo chamber (also Good Omens spoilers in a broad sense), not by me
Some discussion on queerphobia being inserted only as a tool to assist with specific shipping narratives (I think this ties in again to like. people need obstacles to justify why the characters aren't already in their cottage by the sea but once the characters are together they discard these obstacles even if they are systemic and would still exist, which makes for really bad fanfic bc it's clearly poorly plotted and thought out)
Me on why this campaign isn't good for shipping but a lot of the fandom showed up primarily to ship (might be the post that prompted this ask tbf)
Fandom monocropping (not my post)
My treatise on Imogen and Laudna specifically which honestly, even now that they are canon, still largely holds up re: the fandom and a related one about similarly fluff-centric Change is Evil and the highest order of fiction is Two Blorbos In A House With Zero Problems mentality (not by me but I've been part of that discussion)
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a-humble-bagel · 9 months
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 so i finished good omens season 2 a couple days ago and i have a lot of thoughts about the ending, and how i’m not a big fan of the coffee theory. i think that aziraphale’s decision at the end of the season was actually very in-character, and i honestly love how that ending showed a key difference between aziraphale and crowley, so now im going to explain why i think that. 
(this post ended up being about 1,800 words long, so if you don’t feel like reading that much, than just skip to the conclusion/tldr at the end :] )
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the last ten minutes of season 2 absolutely ripped my heart out, but i think one of the worst parts is that it honestly feels completely in character for aziraphale because unlike crowley, aziraphale never lost faith in the system. in season 1, for example, he consistently tried to go through the system to try to stop armageddon, even getting to the point where he decided that the archangels were the problem and decided to try to talk to god personally.
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crowley, on the other hand, didn’t even think about trying to convince the demons that armageddon was a bad idea, because, unlike aziraphale, he doesn’t believe in the system. to aziraphale, the flaws in the system were individuals like micheal, uriel, and, in season one, gabriel, and never the actual system. it always seemed to him like the archangels were the ones making mistakes, and he always strove to do what he felt was the ‘right’ decision according to his own moral compass. 
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@inhonoredglory wrote a really good analysis here that i very very highly recommend reading, but to summarize, @inhonoredglory talks about how crowley was the one who helped aziraphale learn that he doesn’t have to follow heaven’s command and to do what his heart deems is right, even if it feels like he’s breaking the rule, and how aziraphale isn’t blind to heaven’s problems but wants to fix them. he’s never stopped wanting to do good. 
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in addition to this, while aziraphale is still trying to be a good angel, crowley has kinda given up on the whole being a demon and making life worse thing. so while neither aziraphale or crowley follow what their respective sides want, they’re doing it in very different ways. aziraphale is doing what he believes an angel should do, not what heaven believes an angel should do, while crowley doesn’t try to do “demonic” things at all anymore, he’s just kinda living life. 
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aziraphale wants to do good. crowley wants to live life. those are the two paths and the two different opinions that played a large role in season 2 ending the way it did. it’s a difference the two have always had, but up until this point in the series, those motivations led to them wanting the same thing (stopping armageddon). however, when the metatron offers aziraphale gabriel’s job, suddenly aziraphale’s and crowley’s desires are leading them to two different paths. 
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but obviously there’s a lot more to their relationship than that. i mean the whole series revolves around how much aziraphale and crowley love each other. like @inhonoredglory said, it was crowley who showed aziraphale that he could defy heaven and that it was better to do what his heart said than what the archangels told him. they clearly both love each other so much, even if neither of them are actually willing to say it. that’s why i think that, as tempted as he was, aziraphale wasn’t originally going to accept the metatron’s offer because he couldn’t just leave crowley, but after the metatron said that he could make crowley an angel again, well,
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it was basically all aziraphale wanted wrapped up in one thing. he would be able to do real good and make a change and fix all those problems in heaven, and he’d be able to do it with crowley there with him! it was like a dream come true! it’s tricky to remember since we all (or most of us at least, including me) think of this as them breaking up, but it’s important to remember that neither crowley nor aziraphale actually wanted to leave each other. they were both asking the other to stay with them. i mean aziraphale literally says that he needs crowley.
but with all that, why would aziraphale still end up choosing heaven over crowley if he was really acting of his own volition?
im gonna get to that in a minute, but first let’s take a minute to talk about crowley..
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now i’ve been talking a lot about how crowley doesn’t believe in the system anymore, but let’s go into the details now. the opening to the entire season shows crowley basically creating the stars and space and more or less the universe, and then his disappointment at the fact that most of his work won’t even get to be appreciated. he’s clearly upset and plans to ask god about it, assuming he can’t get into trouble for asking a few questions which we know from season one is how he got kicked out of heaven, so it’s very probable that he questioned god, disagreed with god, got kicked out and didn’t seem to care about being “good”.
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aziraphale questions whether what heaven is doing is right, where as crowley just questioned god. so, crowley got kicked out because he questioned the system (god) and was met with an “i’m right, you’re wrong” attitude. after all that, why would he trust the system? why would he believe that heaven could be reformed if he’s seen some of the worst stuff it could do? why would he ever want to be an angel again when the first time around, he put all his love and effort into something only for it to be underappreciated, and when he dared to ask otherwise he got kicked out?
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also, when he snuck up to heaven, crowley discovered why gabriel went down to earth (or part of it at last). gabriel said no to armageddon 2, he defied the will of the archangels and the metatron (and we assume god as well), and for that he was going to lose all of his power. he only had power as long as he agreed with everyone else, and when he disagreed all of that power was taken away, just like it had been taken away from crowley.
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so, as far as crowley sees it. heaven is broken and corrupt and unfixable, and the only way he’s able to do what he likes is without both heaven and hell. after all, that’s all he’s wanted, to be able to do what he wants. he wanted his creation of space to be allowed to develop, he wanted to be left alone by heaven and hell, he wants aziraphale to be there with him. so, to crowley, aziraphale saying he wanted to take over heaven and make crowley and angel again would have seemed like the worst possible thing in the world. being an angel in heaven would take away almost everything he wants, except aziraphale. 
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so, we have crowley, who needs aziraphale, and needs freedom from heaven and hell, and we have aziraphale who needs crowley, and who needs to be able to do good. now, let’s quickly talk about the metatron’s offer before we get back to aziraphale’s decision. now, when the metatron is talking with aziraphale, it’s clear that at first aziraphale is just being polite. he clearly wants to get away and go back to crowley, until the metatron mentions crowley. even after that, aziraphale still seems very conflicted.
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i’d also like to point out that while i don’t believe the coffee theory, the metatron is definetly manipulating aziraphale, he just doesn’t need any magic to do it. the metatron goes out of his way to seem approachable and just like aziraphale (by getting him human coffee), the smile drops from his face and ominous music plays as he and aziraphale leave the bookshop, and, even though he tells aziraphale to ‘take all the time [he] needs’, he’s right back to ask him if he’s made up his mind after only a few short minutes, after he sees crowley storm out. not to mention, the metatron definetly knows more than he lets on, he mentions that crowley was always “asking damn fool questions” which we can assume are the questions about space that got him thrown out of heaven. 
@halemerry​ wrote a really good analysis of the metatron’s manipulation here that goes into a lot more detail than what i just said and i’d really reccomend reading it.
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so now aziraphale has to choose between doing what his heart says is the “right” thing to do, and what his heart desires (crowley), and he’s being pressured and mainpulated by the metatron into choosing the first option. now, throughout the series, he’s often conflicted on whether or not he should do what feels right, and crowley has helped him learn that it’s better for him to do what seems good to him. it’s just that in the past that always aligned with him and crowley working together.
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and so, no matter how much it’s hurting him, aziraphale chooses to go up to heaven because now he can finally do good. he feels that it’s what he has to do, no matter how painful it is. and when he hears about “the second coming” his determination grows. he has to be up there, someone has to keep things in line, someone has to fix the system. but, what about the smile? why would he smile? well for the same reason he smiled in the bookshop just before he left:
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and the same reason he smiled before getting in the elevator:
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he’s putting on a brave face. i mean moments before he smiled in the elevator he looked like he was on the verge of tears, but now he’s smiling and trying to pretend as though nothing is wrong.
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and that is why aziraphale choosing to go to heaven is in character. because he’s always believed that the problem was the people in the system, not the system itself, because crowley helped him learn to do what he feels is right regardless of his own personal comfort with that, because he doesn’t have the context crowley does of knowing what it’s like to be a high level angel and knowing what exactly got gabriel punished, and because, yes, he is being manipulated by the metatron, but all the metatron needs are words, not coffee. 
tldr: aziraphale would choose to go to heaven because he thinks he can fix it, he doesn’t have the context crowley does, the metatron is manipulating him (but not with magic), and he’s learned (through crowley) to do what he feels is right regardless of how uncomfortable it makes him feel. it’s just that in this case, the thing that will let him do the most good is leaving crowley
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lryghe · 7 months
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MXTX thoughts; conventions
The long awaited (not) analysis of MXTX conventions is here! I’ve literally been meaning to talk about this for months but it got sidelined in favour of vicious arguing on PDB about MBTI. Anyways! Obviously this post will contain spoilers, and something I wanted to touch on was 3rd person limited in MXTX, but I already have a post on that here, so feel free to check that out for a better explanation of it. Beware of mediocre analysis ahead, I’m a little rusty (also shoutout to the person who liked some of my posts this morning, you reminded me to actually write something!).
THE AGENDA since this post is long:
Non-linear storylines
Dying and resurrection
Colour symbolism
Character tropes
NON-LINEAR STORYLINES
An interesting thing that follows MXTX’s more thought out works, is the non-linear plotlines she follows in them. This itself is a really good convention of writing in general, especially if it’s done well, and I can safely say that MXTX did it astoundingly well in TGCF. The clear cuts between time periods in relation to each book is an incredible feat, and is something that easily trumps MXTX's other examples of non-linear storylines. Through the use of the jumping back and forth in time, specifically in TGCF, creates an excellent cause and effect, something that is definitely central to the novel. Everything done has an effect, whether that be on the continuation of the plot, or even as a characterisation point, so the non-linear narrative cements that sense of foreboding hanging over everything. A simple sentence said when Xie Lian 17 somehow amounts to a complete upheaval of the heavens 800 years later, unveiling a conspiracy well over 2000 years old. A friendship group dissolving due to difficult circumstances results in a really horrific friendship confession later in the novel. Shi Wudu trying to save his sibling ends his own demise, the crippling of said sibling, and a vengeful ghost with nothing to do anymore. This nonlinear storyline is definitely used in MDZS as well, but I found it a bit more complex, and actually, now that I think about it, is a really good reflection of Wei Wuxian in general. The thing with MXTX, is that all her novels are in 3rd person limited, so they follow our protagonist in 3rd person, but it’s tinged with their own personal views and biases that limit the omniscience of 3rd person. And with MDZS it would be a fair assessment to say that the unordered mess of time leaps in the novel are an excellent indication of Wei Wuxian’s bias leaking through the 3rd person. The incessant jumping is difficult to follow in places (don’t say otherwise), but it’s actually a genius idea because it’s an accurate assessment of the thought process that Wei Wuxian probably follows anyway. I wouldn’t say that this was definitely on purpose however, as MDZS was written before TGCF, so it could just be MXTX growing alongside her writing, but hey, maybe it is a stroke of complete and beautiful genius! Don’t bother mentioning SVSSS, it’s definitely an interesting novel, but it’s not non-linear, at least not as wholly as MDZS and TGCF are. The most you’ll get in SVSSS is like a two line flashback, plus the extra’s, but I think that’s a reflection of when MXTX wrote it.
DYING AND RESURRECTION
Moving on from serious conventions, MXTX’s trope with one of the main characters dying and then coming back later is a really funny kind of convention, because it’s not funny in the moment obviously, but the fact that it’s done at least once per novel is hilarious. Wei Wuxian’s initial resurrection after 13 years of being dead, Shen Qingqiu’s return in his plant body 5 years later, and then his return back to his ‘original’ body, and Hua Cheng’s little death defying stunt at the end of the novel. Then there’s the use of cliffs and such, like Binghe’s fall into the Abyss, Hua Cheng’s fall off that wall (forgive me its been like 3 years since I read TGCF), and if we’re being inclusive, then there’s always Wei Wuxian’s death in The Untamed. Maybe there’s a hidden meaning in there somewhere, but it’s fine to look at it from a surface level, which amounts to ‘MXTX got bored and needed some drama’. A perfectly reasonable deduction. 
COLOUR SYMBOLISM
Another thing I wanted to touch on was the colour symbolism that MXTX uses because I think it’s pretty cool, AND it has the added benefits of adding symbolism and contrast to each novel's main character and their love interest. It’s mentioned in the novel’s obviously, but it really shines in fan content and fanarts. I like the symbolism of Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu’s robes both being green before the time-skip, because Luo Binghe was a disciple at the time and a little white lotus, so the green was used to directly align him with Shen Qingqiu. After the timeskip he’s obviously got his big boy pants on and swapped to a stunning black and red ensemble, fitting of the protagonist, and that itself contrasts Shen Qingqiu’s majestic and lofty green robes, because Binghe means business with this fit. A fun thought is how green and red fit together on the colour spectrum, because they don’t, they’re contrasting colours which is some real obvious symbolism. Do I really need to spell out Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian? I feel like this one is rudimentary. White equals noble and virtuous, pure and holy, and black is evil, demonic, cruel, and scary. Simple! And Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s red and white are a very cute mixture, because although it gives them a Bingqiu style christmas tree vibe, it’s interesting in comparison to the previous two love interest and main character dynamics, considering red and white are a lot more complimentary than black and white or red and green. And it’s a testament to how similar Hualian are with their complimentary robes, how like-minded they are throughout the novel, especially considering their predecessors. Or maybe I’m overthinking it, who knows?
CHARACTER TROPES
In regards to tropes of MXTX, I think her character tropes are incredible and have the addition of being really funny. She’s consistent enough with her conventions that clear links can be drawn with her side characters across all 3 novels. To begin with, there’s Mr Angry. I think you can guess who that is, but it's Jiang Cheng, Liu Qingge, and Mu Qing. All have a really close relationship with their related main character, all are angry or harsh where they probably didn't need to be, and all three are good fighters. Then there’s the guy who’s always smiling, like Yue Qingyuan or Lan Xichen. Complacency is a key part of their characters, and excuses aside, it’s interesting how it played out. You could argue for Jun Wu to be a part of this circle, but I’ll keep that to myself. Finally, there’s the fodder characters, only useful to further the plot in a miniscule way. Gongyi Xiao (MAY HE REST WELL), Xiao Xingchen, and once again, I don’t have a very good TGCF equivalent. Gongyi Xiao dies after the events of the water prison, and Xiao Xingchen was really just there to highlight how fucked up Xue Yang was. Rest in peace our beloved fodder, especially Gongyi Xiao, MXTX should have treated you better…
I think I’ve typed myself out honestly. Kudos to whoever reached the end of this post, I haven’t written this much since my Team 7 analysis when I got back into my Naruto phase briefly.
Word count: 1271
Reading time: 4 ½ mins
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blooxorsista · 2 months
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Blue Exorcist - 3x09: Rin, Izumo, & the Rescue Scene
Okay, I was reading the comments under the latest episode (3x09), and I wanted to type something out, but it ended up being pretty long and I decided I'd just post here instead.
Basically, this post will address Rin and Izumo's character development in this arc, and the importance of the rescue scene in the most recent episode.
I've already mentioned that this arc is probably my favorite in the whole manga (although I'm not currently caught up), but the scene where Izumo cries for help and Rin comes to her rescue is probably one of my absolute favorite scenes in the series.
The scene was just so impactful to me as a reader, which I wrote about in my analysis from when Chapter 60 came out.
So needless to say, I was SO excited to finally see this scene animated! I was also especially excited to see the Nine Tails dance from Izumo, and was slightly disappointed that they may have adapted it too faithfully to the manga, with still shots instead of a moving dance. Maybe they didn't want to assume what it looked like and chose to play it safe. (It's fine, not a deal breaker!)
It wasn't totally apparent in the anime episode, but manga readers know that Rin noticed Izumo crying from the vent. That's why we saw his wide eyes right before he exploded through the ceiling. It was seeing Izumo that caused him to move into action.
It may be easy to overlook since it moved so quickly in the anime, but that scene is extremely important for both Rin and Izumo's characters. Up until that moment, Rin had been struggling internally about fighting humans. When he's trapped inside the giant zombie, he can hear the voices of the humans that were inside (in the same way he could hear Kuro). That's why he was having a bit of a mental breakdown, asking his father what he should do.
He KNOWS that he has to cause harm to humans in order to succeed in this mission. But it's easier said than done for him, because as someone who has been constantly demonized and struggled with his sense of self, he has drawn himself a red line in his own personal code of ethics. To him, the zombies ARE human. And hearing their voices just confirms that for him. They are still conscious inside of their experimented bodies. So in order to fight them, he would have to harm these humans who were essentially innocent victims of this organization.
For Izumo, she finally accepts her true feelings about others, and asks for help. Up until this point, she's put up a strong front, thinking she had to handle everything on her own and couldn't trust anyone. Now she lets all her walls come down and accepts her vulnerabilities.
And it's exactly in this moment that both Rin and Izumo have a synchronous realization. For Rin, seeing Izumo crying, asking for help, in her most vulnerable state -- it's the catalyst for him to resolve his own inner conflict.
In an instant, he has made his decision and strengthened his resolve (either consciously or subconsciously) to harm humans because all he cares about in that moment is to save Izumo.
It's enough to snap him into action. And that's HUGE development for his character. We even see him hesitate slightly at the end of the episode when the zombies fill the room, before ultimately slashing through them with his sword, because he knows that that is what's needed to save Izumo and her mom. In fact, I'd probably argue that this hesitation is due to Rin having to consciously decide to attack them, meaning that when he moved to save Izumo, he reacted subconsciously.
I just felt the need to point this out after seeing so many comments complaining about Rin and Izumo's actions and character development this season. In truth, their actions and motivations align.
Another common complaint I saw was about how Izumo should have taken Rin's offer for help the first time (on the bridge). I'd like to point out that running away wouldn't solve Izumo's problems. Even if she were to be rescued and escape with Rin and the others, Gedouin still has her mother and has already threatened to use her little sister if Izumo refused. In her mind, staying was the only solution, because her goal was to protect her family at all costs.
Despite what we know of the Nine Tails, Izumo believes that she can take control and use the possession to her advantage and destroy her enemies. That way she wouldn't have to worry about them coming after her or her loved ones again.
And for Rin, he's coming to learn that "good" and "bad" are not so easily distinguished. His view of the world has been turned upside down after realizing that not all of the "bad guys" are demons.
And as a side note, I also want to mention the animation style. I know it's been a bit of a controversial topic this season, since the style is so different from seasons 1 and 2, and that a lot of people have complained about some of the episodes. However, I had a feeling that the animation team was just prioritizing the more important scenes over the others (after all, there is a limited amount of time and budget, so it would make sense to spend more time on the biggest scenes, if you have to choose).
And I was glad that this seems to be holding true up until now. I was happy with the quality of the scenes that featured Izumo this episode (much like how I thought her backstory episode was high quality), and especially the rescue scene. And I loved that we finally got to see posessed!Izumo colored and animated!
I'm also curious as to how the next episode will be adapted. I was reading through an old rant of mine from when the corresponding manga chapter came out, so I'll be curious to see if I feel the same way after watching the next scenes play out.
All in all, I'm still enjoying this season and getting to experience the manga come to life with animation and voice acting!
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wen-kexing-apologist · 4 months
Text
✨2023: A Summary✨
Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)
tagged by @dribs-and-drabbles, thank you! this was a fun review and I was interested to see how many times my favorite post and the most popular post coincided (or didn't)
January
I wasn’t writing meta
February
Most popular: Heart’s Confrontation- the scene breakdown that started it all!
Favorite(s): Heart’s Confrontation, Moonlight Chicken Sign Language Index- I really had a lot of fun figuring out the similarities and differences in American Sign Language and Modern Thai Sign Language!
March
Most popular: Best Criers in Moonlight Chicken- it's funny, short, and sweet
Favorite(s): Moonlight Chicken is for the Queers, Isn’t it Difficult to be Born Poor?- I loved writing these so much!
April
Most popular: A plea for Akk to have unrestrained summer fun
Favorite(s): Bed Friend and Reflections Part 3; Songkran, Water, and KingUea- Not to sound egotistical or anything, but I was really proud of myself for the conclusions I came up with in both of these pieces
May
Most popular: Silence- I think this was one of the only things I wrote in May
Favorite(s): Silence- THE ACTING IS JUST SO GOOD OKAY?
June
Most popular: By/For/About Queers Part 1 and Part 2- these only have the most notes because this was originally a post from @absolutebl that I added thoughts to, so most of those notes are from them
Favorite(s): Phupa and internalized homophobia Part 1 and Part 2- it was really fun getting to unpack my past assumptions about Phupa and work through those until I came out the other side with a new blorbo.
July
Most popular:  Lack of Touch in BMF
Favorite(s): Rain, BL Boys, and Reciprocity; Trans Allegory in Cupid’s Last Wish; Body Language in La Pluie, Episode 12- I especially liked Rain and Reciprocity because I think it has really shaped how I watch shows since then because I want to see if my theory holds.
August
Most popular: Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture
Favorite(s): Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture, Pause for Reflection, Part 1: Respectable Promiscuity and Only Friends- listen, I was going to write boring, academic, cited work about sex/porn as a joke, okay? I didn't expect people to actually engage with them as excitedly as they did!
September
Most popular: A Must Read- I give all credit for the success of this post to the Teen Vogue author who wrote the article and to @waitmyturtles who sent this link to me
Favorite(s): Pause for Reflection, Part 2: Only Friends, Racism, and the Commodification of Queer Asians; Poor Boy; Who is Mew Anyway?- Honestly, I had a wonderful time writing all the essays for Only Friends
October
Most popular: Best Scene in Only Friends and Why it was Sand and Nick Kissing
Favorite(s): Let’s Talk About Sex!, Why I Like BL, Physicality of Characters- the sex essay for my 69th essay was fun, and hilariously appropriate because I had recently answered the physicality question and could use it as an example
November
Most popular: Physical Touch and Hands in Last Twilight- It made me feel so warm and fuzzy that people would notice I wasn't posting about this show and want to hear from me <3
Favorite(s): IS BROTHER ANURAK THE ONE ARMED MAN?- I will never reach a higher high than when my obsession with hands finally paid off and I figured this shit out a month in advance of Part 2, I'm a motherfucking genius
December 
Most popular: Hands Touching Hands- I love throwing in complete key smash type of analysis from time to time as a treat cause I keep forcing people to read literal long-form essays all the fucking time (sorry, not sorry)
Favorite(s): Top 5 Favorite Food Moments, Best of QL 2023: Favorite Lines, Best of QL pre-2023: Favorite Lines- I love when I can cause people emotional pain, and all of these not only stabbed me in the heart but took a couple of people down with me as far as I can tell from the tags.
__
It's wild to have done this, because I haven't really been keeping an eye on my stats until now. I've made almost 400 original posts this year, and increased my notes by 25,000 annually looking at 2023 compared to 2022. I have been a lonely little tumblr goblin since 2012. I came on here to read other people's smart thoughts about things I was watching and to reblog gifs, and I never really thought building community here was possible, but here I am 11 months after making my first BL analysis post with a bunch of friends I didn't know a year ago, and about 20 more lenses through which I watch my silly little gay shows.
tagging: @bengiyo, @ranchthoughts, and @rocketturtle4
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imagionationstation · 14 days
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Hi! I read your TMNT 2012 separated au that you made with ellestrade and it really gave me brainworms so I wrote a small one-shot for it! The characters kinda ended up writing themselves haha.
anyways, wanted to share it with you and also make sure that you're okay with it. Not sure how you feel about other people taking inspiration from you ideas, so if you would like me to take it down, just let me know!
Thanks for sharing such fun ideas. Here's the post (I've also tagged you in it but sometimes tags are weird and don't always show. Also its on my fandom specific sideblog, but I am the same person haha)
Gotta love those brain worms! (Ironic statement from a 2012 viewpoint, actually-) HOLY CHALUPA, BRAIN WORMS IN THIS AU UNIVERSE, WAIT WAIT ACTUALLY WAIT-
*background rambles and spazzing*
Okay, I’m back.
I’m always a-okay with whatever fan things anyone wants to create with inspiration from something I made or helped make. As long as it isn’t containing some stamp that says “this I deem canon” when neither me (nor my partner) deemed it canon, no one ever has to worry with me getting upset over some story/comic/art.
I’m going to give some thoughts and I want to disclaimer.
When I discuss my thoughts on your POV of events in the AU, I will never, in any way, intend to diss or attack the story. I think the flow was excellent and Raph’s analysis of the events occurring was intriguing. I loved it! And nothing I say will be a statement otherwise.
But, since I have a distinct inability to keep my mouth shut when it comes to turtles and you asked, I have thoughts 🧐
My brain is now turning and ya’ll have to deal.
Characterization:
Donnie: Much distrust. Much sass. A strong sense of duty to defend his brethren turtles who don’t deserve it but he’s doing it anyway.
Very on point. Much approval 👌
Mikey: Could not be more perfect. I love him. Sweet soul ✨
Leo: He’s a bit less… Forceful. Cold and calculating. Than I envision.
I’d imagine that he had to learn to shut feelings down in order to survive. Fidgeting/smiling/visibly hesitating is out of the question. Staying in Shredder’s graces meant learning to play the game. His silence is what earns Raph the ability to be loud. The only times that he’s himself is when him and Raph are alone, outside of the sight of cameras, or when someone in is danger and fear/fury overwhelms all else. He seems bland to outsiders and it takes the Hamato brothers a while to see that that he’s just a scared little boi at heart that’s just trying his best in a cruel world.
He’s also set in his beliefs, so he’s going to assume that they’re being tormented mentally, if not physically. There’s no place in his mind that wonders if they were actually safer elsewhere.
I do like your POV, though. Plenty for me to play with.
Raph:
He’s ABSOLUTELY the first to question the differences between how Shredder treats them and how Splinter treats their brothers. He doesn’t jump the gun, but as devoted as he is, he’s never really liked Shredder. I love the implications that he’s been filing away concerns subconsciously and his brain keeps poking him like “HELLO?!”
He’s very deep. I can’t decide how I feel about that 🤔
Shredder would have wanted to fan that temper into something unforgiving and vile. Or course, that doesn’t mean he stops being a sensitive soul. It could… Have something to do with Shredder manipulating him into being angry when he wills it (basically all the time) and solemn and still when he doesn’t (such as during lectures, punishments, etc).
His brain registers this situation as one where he’s not meant to be loud and angry, and so he’s kinda… Shut down. Sassy, but mellow. Processing. Adapting. Letting what happens happen because he’s not meant to stop it.
It’s a reason that Leo gets so defensive when punishments come into play. It forces Raph to feel small. It make him vulnerable.
HOLY MOTHER OF MUTATIONS- I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW TAKE ON THE AU @ellestrade TELL ME IF I’M ONTO SOMETHING
Anyway, commentary:
“in one of Takeō's strategy books he couldn't care less about”
It’s like Space Heroes. He claims so and YET he read, recalls, AND clearly has DEBATED the passage so I call sus vibes.
I get giddy when I think of Takeō discovering Space Heroes-
“Junkō and Kōta— or Donnie and Mikey, whatever false name they’d been given—”
My brain made connections. I don’t know if it was intended, but I always believe that they knew them by Shredder’s names through the beginning of season one, end of season one/beginning of season two they were associating them as both, and then by the time that the City is under attack, they’ve adapted to using their real names. (But the Saki brothers still keep their Foot names.)
So, now I assume this is somewhere in that middle plot.
Fun little Easter egg~
“Takeō and Akihitō were the offense, and Donnie and Mikey were the defense” “They held their own. In fact, they dominated.”
I’m in love with Raph’s simple acknowledgment of their roles in battle. It’s a very practical outline of exactly how their dynamic on the field plays out and he's so certain of his place.
On the other hand, I’m a bit uncertain about whether they’d dominate. I do believe that they are trained and can hold their own, but I don’t know about them being as impressive as Raph&Leo, simply because Splinter trained them to defend and Shredder trained them to kill. The Hamato brothers haven’t had much time to practice in the offensive, especially since that’s Leo&Raph’s job. (In non-AU canon, they are all offensive/defensive.)
I think Mikey might learn that kinda strength at the farmhouse after being taught by Leo&Raph, and Donnie will step back from that, finally finding his place not as a fighter/leader, but as a scientist.
Definitely an interesting take, tho 🤔
“Only now does he think that, perhaps, there was a reason their master made their primary weapons blunts and not blades.”
I am chewing on this line so hard. It’s so powerful.
I can’t even tell you why. It just is.
“Akihitō knows that Takeō isn’t lying. He’d already tried to take tonight's blame all on his own shoulders, spare Akihitō of the punishment. But Akihitō knows all his tricks and he won’t let his brother suffer alone. Again.”
100% behind Raph learning to butt in when Leo tries to take the fall as they get older and punishments get worse.
“Seeing the situation, the evidence glaring at him, Akihitō cannot deny that this wasn’t exactly a great sell. Takeō and him are tied to the ground, trying to convince these two strangers that they would be safe with them. That their clan would not hurt them while that same clan was just about ready to beat them to a pulp.”
I was thinking the same thing 🤣
Leo, dude, seriously. Look around. Think for a second. You are not selling your point. You are doing the opposite.
In the end, it doesn’t even matter. Sensei will always find them no matter where they run. It was better to follow than be chased.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THESE KIDS THAT THIS IS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL MOTIVATED TO STAY WITH DAD BECAUSE HE WILL FORCED YOU TO REMAIN OTHERWISE. BRUH. RED FLAG.
These were Foot Ninja binds made specifically to hold them. Mutant strength and all.
It makes sense that Shredder would make these. But.
But man. He made those. For them.
Takeō tries to take control of the situation again, the bossy oldest sibling coming out in him.
HA. Got him. Leo is Leo in any universe.
“His name is Mikey.” Donnie glares. “The rat is lying and he has—” “Donnie, its fine.”
Absolutely how they view things. Mikey doesn’t care what they think or do as long as no one he cares about is paying the price. Donnie feels it is a manner of principle that they accept logic and truth.
Leo talking over both of them is valid. This kid, I swear.
“Then tell your older brother to shut up about—”
LEO IS IT OFFICIAL YOU HAVE BEEN DISOWNED
“Sounds like a you-problem.” Donnie stands. “Mikey, we saved them. It's time to go.”
Donnie would die for them <3
A hand lands on his shoulder, and he recognizes it. Takeō always knows when to give support. He’s a good brother. He hopes Donnie and Mikey will know that one day too.
OH. OKAY. WELL. 🥺
THOSE FEELS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE-
He loved his big bro sm hjkhkjhkjhjkkjhkjhkjhku
If Akihitō didn’t know any better, he’d say it was longing.
Oh, don’t worry, he is dying to have other people in his life who genuinely care for him, but as long as you guys are with the enemy, you’re a threat to his baby brother and daddy and not to be trusted
And, just maybe, it could be their world too. 
Oh, so that’s what pain feels like. Glad to be reminded.
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your-name-is-jim · 2 years
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Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
This became a pretty long post, sorry.
I noticed something that I haven't seen before in Kirk/Spock analysis, so I'd like to talk about it. As I said other times, I'm aware that Star Trek fans in over half a century have probably already written everything about the most popular ship, but that's not going to stop me from adding my own words. :)
What I want to talk about is in the episode Whom Gods Destroy. I feel like this episode is pretty underrated among K/S shippers. Nowadays, it might be because of this part:
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"Kirk and Spock call each other brothers, this episode tries to no-homo them!"
Short answer: No, it doesn't.
Long answer: This is not what I actually want to focus on, but I understand that it's important, so I'll try to give an explanation. When we watch TOS, we always need to remember when it was made. I know it's not easy (trust me, I made that mistake too), but unfortunately we can't forget that, in the '60s, homosexuality was still considered a mental illness (if not worse, depending on the people/country), and portraying it in a positive way in a mainstream American show was NOT an option. At the time, it wasn't uncommon for queer people to call each other "brothers/sisters" as a socially acceptable way to say "we love each other", "we're each other's most important person", "we have something special that is different from friendship".
Does it mean Kirk and Spock say "brothers" when they mean "lovers"? Not necessarily, of course, but we need to remember that, unlike contemporary shows where two men can actually claim to be brothers to mean "we're close but not gay", in the past it could have meant "we're close and maybe also gay". I'm not saying it's canon, but the interpretation is valid.
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As you can see, Garth strongly disagrees with Kirk and Spock when they say they're brothers. :D Unfortunately, it's from the wrong reason: he's claiming that they only have a captain-first officer relationship, without feelings involved. And the episode definitely wants us to think that he's wrong! Kirk and Spock love each other! They have very special feelings for each other, feelings that the word "friendship" wouldn't completely convey. I choose to interpret their "brotherhood" in that positive way, also keeping in mind that Spock does say Kirk is speaking "somewhat figuratively", so he's aware they're not actual adopted siblings. :)
Of course, I can't forget to add what every K/S fan knows: if we consider Roddenberry's novel canon (or at least canonically relevant to a degree), Vulcans use the same word, t'hy'la, to say "friend", "brother", "lover" or a combination of at least two of them. That just makes everything easy! Every time Kirk and Spock call each other "friends" or "brothers" in canon, we can just assume they mean t'hy'la. Checkmate! :D
Okay, back to Whom Gods Destroy. If that episode isn't as "no homo" as we initially thought, what makes it so good for K/S shippers to the point that I'm writing a long post about it? Well, a couple of things. The first one happens before the "brothers" speech, and it's this:
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In context, Marta claims to write poetry, so she recites one of "her" poems… which is very obviously Shakespeare. Star Trek writers chose one of the most famous English sonnets of all time on purpose, and it's clear because they made 100% sure every single person watching the episode wouldn't miss it:
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So, okay, she didn't write it. We got it. It's Star Trek and its Shakespeare references, nothing new.
Is that all? Hm, I'm not sure. Because Shakespeare's sonnet 18 might be extremely famous, but it's not the only famous poem Shakespeare wrote. And even if it was, since the characters were going to point out that "hey that's Shakespeare" anyway, why did Star Trek writers chose that sonnet specifically? Why did they choose one of the sonnets Shakespeare wrote for another man, to express his beauty? To express his love for him?
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date. Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmed; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st, Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade, When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.     So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,     So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
They could have chosen one of the sonnets Shakespeare wrote for a woman. There are a lot more! But no, Marta quotes a love poem by a man for another man, and the camera shows us this:
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Just two bros, sitting together, listening to Shakespeare's words about a young man's beauty 'cause they're not gay.
Now… I know, I know. Even nowadays, Shakespeare is too famous to be universally accepted as queer. There's always going to be academics who think "those sonnets were platonic!"; at the time Star Trek was made, I wouldn't be surprised if almost everyone thought "Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?" was about either platonic love or love for a woman (the latter used to be a theory too, but it was proved wrong). On the other hand, the queer reading has also been discussed for centuries, and supported by famous academics too, like Oscar Wilde. So even in this case, we can't really know what Star Trek writers had in mind. Did they just pick the most popular sonnet without thinking too hard? Did they try to add gay subtext to the scene? Well, it certainly looks gay to me. :)
And now, the best part! What, you thought it was over? Nope, I said I was going to talk about "a couple of things", and Shakespeare was just the first one. Because if you think that his sonnet was probably not meant to be gay in context, and after that Kirk and Spock call each other brothers, and that's also not gay in your opinion… well, maybe we can add a little more fuel to the potential gay subtext.
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So, what is Marta doing here? Quoting poetry again.
Right after their conversation about brotherhood and the loyalty of a crew, Garth gets mad at Spock ("Remove this animal!"); Garth's men bring Spock away, and Garth asks Kirk the password to get to the Enterprise. He tells Kirk that he'll make him beg for death. That's when Marta suddenly starts reciting another poem. This time, though, there's a big difference from the first one: the audience can tell it's probably another reference because of her previous behavior, but it's hard to recognize. It's not Shakespeare. It's not even the most popular poem by that author, and she's also quoting it a little wrong.
This is a subtle reference. The average Star Trek fan doesn't know what it is. I also didn't. So, of course, I got curious, and this is what I found:
A. E. Housman, English poet (1859 – 1936)
XIX.
In midnights of November, When Dead Man’s Fair is nigh, And danger in the valley, And anger in the sky,
Around the huddling homesteads The leafless timber roars, And the dead call the dying And finger at the doors.
Oh, yonder faltering fingers Are hands I used to hold; Their false companion drowses And leaves them in the cold.
Oh, to the bed of ocean, To Africk and to Ind, I will arise and follow Along the rainy wind.
The night goes out and under With all its train forlorn; Hues in the east assemble And cocks crow up the morn.
The living are the living And dead the dead will stay, And I will sort with comrades That face the beam of day.
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Alfred Edward Housman is another English poet, but very different from William Shakespeare: he lived just a few decades before Star Trek was made. Why choosing him? Maybe because he wrote a lot about men dying during a war, and it's relevant because Garth killed a lot of people and wants to bring war to the galaxy. We will probably never know, but after a little research, I realized that Housman is definitely an interesting-- no, a fascinating choice.
As I said before, the poem Marta recites doesn't look like one of Housman's most popular works, and it's hard to find something specific about it online. It doesn't even have a title, that "XIX" simply means that it's the 19th poem in the volume it's part of. So what is so fascinating about it? Well…
The title of the volume is "Last Poems". I didn't use Wikipedia as my only source, but in this case, I think it can explain context better than me:
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OH.
So the poem Marta is quoting in front of Kirk, the poem she wants to know if Kirk likes, is not just a poem about death: it's part of a volume a man wrote for the man he was in love with.
Wait, again? There are two poems in this episode, and both of them are by male authors who wrote them for the man they loved? That doesn't really look like a coincidence anymore.
It's subtle, for sure, especially the second one. The average person watching the episode probably doesn't recognize Housman, doesn't know anything about his life. The average person in front of their TV sees Marta trying to seduce Kirk right after "her" poem, so everything looks heterosexual, right?
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Yeah, that's what it looks like. But it's the surface, nothing more.
Because unlike Shakespeare, I didn't find discourse about Housman's sexual orientation: there were probably rumors about his homosexuality when he was alive as well, and after his death, it wasn't really a mystery. A Housman reader, even in the 60s, probably knew.
So, yes, this episode has two poems. Two poets that in different times wrote for a man they loved. Could it be that Whom Gods Destroy is also, at least partially, about love between two men? Well, I basically already said it when I talked about the "brothers" conversation, but let's think about it again. Except for the last few minutes, Kirk and Spock are the only two characters from the main cast on that planet. There's another man, Dr. Cory, who knows Kirk. Kirk seems to care about him… but not enough to risk something while the doctor is tortured in front of his eyes. Also, Dr. Cory isn't present when Marta quotes the poems. The first time, Kirk and Spock are together, and the second time happens not long after this scene:
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They try to make Kirk like the girl, but does he really care?
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Nope, he just wants Spock back.
They are "brothers (somewhat figuratively)" who trust each other deeply, and even if their enemies try to distract Kirk, it's obvious what he really wants.
It's him and Spock. Spock and… him?
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Hmm...
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Okay, that's better. :D
At this point of the series, they're so close that Kirk doesn't even consider the possibility that Spock might not recognize him immediately.
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Luckily, none of them dies and their feelings are mutual, so they can be happier than Housman. Maybe they'll read his poems together. Or Shakespeare, that's always an option.
[Pictures from s3 e14 - Whom Gods Destroy]
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jamesunderwater · 10 days
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20 Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪᴄ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ
Thanks for tagging me!! @gracelesslady23 @annabtg @kay-elle-cee this was very sweet to get to do.
Ao3 Username: itsjamespotter
1. How many works do you have on A03?
31, wow! How wild, that feels like a lot.
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?
162k!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
HP
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Show and Tell (3k, wolfstar smut)
Dead To Me (91k, wip lily evans angst)
Tall Dark and Glasses (3k, jily fluff)
"you have no idea how long i've been wanting to do that" (1k, prongsfoot smut)
Bring Your Kid to Work Day(s never end when your godfather is Sirius Black) (2k, good godfather sirius black fluff)
5. Do you respond to comments?
I try to, or at least have the goal to, but admittedly I'm very bad at it. (not to use it as an excuse but my adhd is fully to blame.) I plan to go back and catch up on all of them soon & have a dream of being much better about it, though. I do intentionally make sure I eventually respond to the ones for my WIPs, at least.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
well, since dead to me hasn't ended yet (kidding kidding kidding kidding!!!) lmao I really thought I was gonna have a hard time finding a fic with an unhappy ending but I evidently forgot who I am. I dunno how to choose between: 1. i don't even know where you end and i begin (500 words, canon prongsfoot....you get it) 2. Promises to Keep (1k words, dorlene with canon ending....you get it)
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Okay listen, do I technically have a fic that mentions living happily ever after in the last line? Yes. Am I choosing that fic? No. I'm choosing Happy Holidays, You Filthy Potters, because 1. smut, 2. sassy young Harry, and best of all, 3. sassy good godfather sirius black 😉
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I've gotten a couple of comments about Lily in Dead To Me but I've decided it's not my problem if people don't have critical analysis skills 💀
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do! I write smut for a number of different ships and plan on doing others! Uhhh, what kind? the fact that I don't really know what that means probably means it's pretty vanilla 😆 there's a lot of going down on people 🤐
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Haha, no, but if I did I'd probably do PJO/HP
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge. that would be so heartbreaking.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but that's SO cool that people offer to do that for some fics!!!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have!! @charmsandtealeaves and I co-wrote a fic for a jilychallenge last year, before we were even friends! It was my first time co-writing a fic, which was very cool and different, but also didn't feel that foreign to me -- I think because I've spent a lot more years doing para RP than I have writing fics. It was fun to kind of riff off another writer in a different way. I would definitely do it again!
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Okay, this is kind of tough because I only recently got into Prongsfoot, and they are the definition of soulmates... But because I ultimately see Sirius as more of an ace/aro character, Jily wins the place of favorite ship in my heart. <3
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Well, I really only have two WIPs posted on AO3: Dead To Me and Just This Once, and I have all of DTM outlined and plan to finish it by fall. Just This Once might be a while, but I also have a plan for it and would like to finish it at some point... But I guess there's a chance I won't finish it -- I do have a lot of other multi-chaps I am going to be starting soon.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hm. I like to think I'm good at getting into the minds of my characters, really thinking through their motivations and emotions and then expressing those to the reader. I also think I'm fairly good at dialogue. I really like writing banter so I hope others think I'm good at it, haha. And based on what I've been told, my smut isn't half bad 😆
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Oh, definitely writing descriptions of any kind. I never remember to describe the scene and when I do, I think it feels clunky. I'm not great at writing in a more direct way, either; I struggle to express a character's emotions without getting a bit flowery with it. Just generally, I think my writing could be tighter, you know? I'm sure I'll realize other things I need to work on as I write more long fics, too.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Ah, haven't done it yet, so don't have any thoughts to share.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
HP -- Jily on the Neopets forums... never 4get <3
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
If we're talking finished works, I'd have to say Tall Dark and Glasses, which I wrote for the masquerade event for Jilytober last year. To me, that fic has a certain je ne sais quois that is hard to replicate. But unfinished? Dead To Me, hands down, and once it's finished it will be very hard to ever top it. It's imperfect and there are a lot of edits I'd make if I were to go back through and polish it up, but it's the first multi chap fic I've ever written, and beyond just feeling immensely proud of that, the story itself and how I'm writing it is one of the most heartfelt and meaningful things I'll ever write in my life.
these were such a pleasure to respond to, thanks again for the tags! <3 I'm tagging: @goldenbi @abihastastybeans & @nodirectionhome-ao3
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