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cursestothemoon · 3 years

Note

yay for the open requests! I really reallyyyyyy love your Harry's older sister hc, could u pretty pls do more? like their brief life as a family with lily and james, then to the dursleys and then at war, so on. I agree with the anon that did the request, harry does needed a bigger sister❤️

aH I LOVED THESE REQUESTS

YOU GUYS CAN READ THE HEADCANONS THIS ANON IS TALKING ABOUT HERE

ok so this is L O N G i need to add a keep reading tab

alright so let's talk about harry's older sister

so lily and james did not plan you

they were straight out of hogwarts

just having fun

and suddenly lily is having morning sickness and james running into a store to buy a pregnancy test (or whatever the wizard equivalent would be 😗)

james would be so nervous the weeks leading up to your birth

he already knows that you aren't even here yet and there isn't anything he wouldn't do for you

and when you are born

he swears he'd never love anything as much as he loves you

his little girl

this sweet little lump of baby fat that was born with eyes just like his

he'd put his glasses on your little baby face, and he could laugh for hours at the way they just barely sat on your little nose (a miniature version of his)

your chubby little baby hands are his favorite

when you'd plan your hands on his face or wrap your hand around his finger he'd melt

Lily would joke all the time about how she carried the baby yet James is constantly hogging her

I think james would have some serious separation anxiety

Lily would also have trouble leaving you to go do something but she knew that you getting to see other people would be good

james is NOT a fan

and you were a big daddy's girl

"it's going to be alright, darling, uncle Padfoot and uncle Moony will take care of you."

and you'd respond with sad baby talk, something along the lines of 'daddy' and 'wanna stay with you' and you'd get all teary eyed

it's a whole dramatic scene

youre crying

james is about to cry

Sirius is quite literally trying to sob silently into his hand because you just look so sAD

and remus and lily are just

😐

because you guys do this eVERY TIME

there was one time james got back into the car with lily after dropping you off and he was unusually quiet until he kinda just whispered out

"It just feels like i'll never have enough time with her, like one day i'll wake up and suddenly she's not mine anymore."

his tone gave Lily the worst chills, his tone and the fact that she felt the same though never voiced it

honestly

i don't think harry was planned either

he kinda just happened

and they were like

you know what, yes.

so you were two when harry was born

and you LOVED your baby brother

he was so small

so cute

and he had your mum's green eyes

from the get go you were very protective of your little brother

james thought it was the cutest thing

ok ive been avoiding it

but we need to talk about October 31 1981

you were upstairs with our mum and harry

james was downstairs cleaning up from dinner

that was when there was a knock on the door

assuming it was peter, uncle wormtail, james was quick to go open the door

grabbing his wand for protection was the last thing on his mind

the thud of his body was loud

he was killed before he could even open his mouth to warn Lily

the door to Harry's nursery flew open and it all happened so fast

there was screaming

bargaining

a sudden flash fo green before Voldemort turned to harry

his cold, pale hand pushed you out of his way

the prophecy had said nothing about you, so he didn't care for what happened to you he just needed to kill harry

which obviously backfired

half the house was blown up

he was gone

harry was crying

and you just wanted your dad

you found your way downstairs, just barely making it down the steps

lily and james had never let you go up or down the steps on your own

only to come face to face with your dad just lying on the ground motionless

his eyes were still open

now i want you guys to think of the lion king

you know the scene where simba finds mufasa's dead body and just lays with it because he doesn't know where else to go

you just wanted any kind of comfort you could find

so with tear streaks going down your face you slayed next to your dad, getting as close as you could, hoping he'd just wake up

sirius is the one who finds you, asleep next to james' body

it was rather rough for sirius

and he could hear harry crying somewhere upstairs

you wake up to uncle padfoot trying to keep in his tears as he takes in the scene before him

you're just glad to see a familiar face

you run over to him, tears freshly falling as you wail about how daddy and mommy won't wake up

you also gently pull james' glasses off his face and keeping them in your small hand

keeping them safe for him later

you knew he didn't like to sleep with his glasses on

eventually hagrid shows up

you guys know the story

but i will say

it takes a lot for you to leave uncle pads and go with this big strange man

youre basically heaving as you beg to stay with sirius

and forcing you off his hip and onto the bike with hagrid was the worst thing he's ever had to do

even for a two year old, youre eyes held such a strong emotion of betrayal

sirius would never forget it

the dursley's were not fond of you and harry

you had james temper and stubbornness

harry was just a 6 month old baby

doing 6 month old baby things

for the first month you'd ask for james, lily, uncle moony, uncle padfoot, even uncle wormtail on a daily basis

until one day petunia just snapped

you had asked about sirius, or as you called him uncle padfoot, and petunia lost it

she started to shout, her hand coming out to strike your cheek as she told you that no one was coming

not now

not ever

you never asked after that

over time you forgot about sirius and remus and peter

you forgot about the song your dad would sing every saturday morning when making breakfast

or the way your mom would hum when she brushed your hair

all lily and james had become were familiar scents and the same pair of eyes you'd see in your dreams (though for a long time you just assumed they were your eyes, they looked enough like yours)

and you grew up always feeling like you were on the wrong side of a billowing curtain

you and harry grew up only having each other

you were very protective of him

and dudley hated it

because you had James art for pranks

and his art for rarely getting caught

unfortunately for you petunia and vernon didn't need evidence to incriminate you

you were often on the receiving end of disciplinary swats and missed meals

and you'd often take harry's punishments for him

you and harry were also forced to share a room

or cupboard

you let him decorate it with all his things (he didn't have many)

and you guys shared a bed up until you got your hogwarts letter

which that was kept very quiet

you got the letter

and petunia and vernon were just glad to be able to send you and your pranks away

you weren't allowed to tell harry

but you did anyway

secretly

you didn't tell him all the details but you told him that you were going to a school far away and you'd be back whenever aunt petunia let you back

going to school was interesting

you didn't know anyone

bUT HAGRID WAS ALSO THERE TO HELP YOU AND BUY YOU YOURE STUFF AND HE BOUGHT YOU YOUR FIRST WAND

you still have james' glasses

you put them on when youre nervous

so youre sitting in the train

first day

you don't know anyone

big round glasses sitting on your nose as you look out the window barely able to see what's going on

james was as blind as a bat

on the train you spend your time reading your new books

absorbing all the material

you were not going to just walk into this new school of mAGIC not knowing aNYTHING

by the time you got there you were at leas base level with most subjects

some were easier to catch onto than others

as long as you didn't let the logical side of your brain do too much work

within the first week you'd find out about your parents

curtesy of older gryffindor kids who knew your last name and were just amazed by the story

oH ALSO YOURE IN GRYFFINDOR

AND WHEN MCGONAGALL READS YOUR NAME SHE GASPS TO HERSELF

BECAUSE

Y/N POTTER

she remembers when james had written to her with the news of Lily's pregnancy with you

and how he was nervous you'd come out just like him and he wouldn't be able to handle you as well as she had, he was asking her for advice

and when you walked up to sit on the chair she nearly dropped her scroll of parchment and pulled you into a hug

you looked just like him

dark hair

pale skin

same eyes and eye shape

and same habit of picking at the skin around your thumb nail when nervous

the hat announcing you were a gryffindor was very overwhelming for her

then she realizes you

are e x a c t l y

like james

and merlin is she tiRED OF THIS SHIT

ok so at this point i am going to direct you to the other headcanon (linked above) if you want a more fred x reader approach

continue here if not

so youre on the quidditch team

and youre a natural

let me tell you

you just have the innate ability

much like james

and at first they had you as a seeker

and you were good

but you excelled as a chaser

i also firmly believed that there was a practice broom that james had carved his name into

or maybe just a ‘J.P.’

that was the broom you'd practice on

even use for games before you got your own broom

ok so

let’s talk your relationship with harry

you made sure you were the one to tell him what happened to your parents

as i said it was your first year when you fond out about what happened

the gryffindor student had told you what they knew

and you went to professor mcgonagall pretty distraught

you were near tears as you practically begged her to just tell you what happened, you wanted the truth

because all your life your aunt and uncle had told you that your parents had been killed in a car accident

needless to say

you didn't want harry to find out that way

but you also knew he was noticing the stares

the whispers

so you told him on the first night

he had already been put into gryffindor and was getting ready for bed when you are up to his dorm

bECAUSE IT’S CANON THAT GIRLS CAN GO UP INTO THE BOYS DORMS AND BOYS CANT GO UP INTO THE GIRLS DORMS AND I WILL CITE THE PARAGRAPH IF ANYONE NEEDS

and you kinda push out ron, neville, and dean

but yeah thats how he finds out all the details and such

ok so you and harry are sUPER CLOSE

and you are very

v e r y

protective of harry

you'd do anything for the kid

wHEN YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THE WHOLE SORCERER’S STONE FIASCO

YOU ARE LIVID

because harry is your baby brother and you love him so much and don't like seeing him hurt 🥺

as harry grows older he gets a bit more

embarrassed

about having you protective over him

and im pretty sure i mentioned this in the last headcanon post

but yeah he’d be like 14 and you'd be 17 and he'd just

“stOP this is so emBARRASSING”

what a little dweeb

ok leTS TALK ABOUT SIRIUS

BECAUSE YOU AND SIRIUS WERE CLOSE WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER

HE WAS UNCLE PADFOOT

YOU LOVED HIM

until your fifth year (harry’ third) when you were told he betrayed your parents and got them killed

youre in the whomping willow when with harry, hermione, and ron

its a lot for both of you

because sirius is seeing his goddaughter who looks just like james, and his the same fire in her eyes as his bestrfriend

his b r o t h e r

and youre seeing the man who was responsible for your parents murder

again

it was A LOT

i have a feeling you, JAMES POTTERS DAUGHTER, would just lunge at him

and youre crying

trying to hit him

hurt him like he hurt you

just anything to bring pain upon this man

and sirius is having flashbacks of when you had ran to him from next to james’ lifeless body

and how different everything had been just days prior to October 31 1981

upon finding out the truth

scammers is now wormtail

peter ‘little bitch ass’ pettigrew

you and harry are immediately forming this connection

this sort of dependency on sirius

within a few minutes

because he is the only living connection you have to your dad

apart from yourselves of course

but eh was the only reminder that james potter was a real man

and lily potter did exist

and there was a time where your family was complete

it never crossed your mind that any more misfortune could strike

not now

not when you finally got back your uncle pads

and then you guys walk into the moonlight, the full moon light

everything flips instantly

you guys are back to square one

i like to think you have a very big part in getting sirius free

so you guys know what happen in between prisoner of azkaban and order of the phoenix

and this headcanon is already getting very long and we haven't even gotten to the wAR YET

so we are doing a little time jump

order of the phoenix

your last year

you are living with sirius in grimmauld place

petunia and vernon kicked you out once you turned 17 after finding out that was the legal age in the wizarding world

you and sirius are close

super close

i mean he is like a father figure to you

he is uncle pads again

oOO AND OK

AFTER FINDING OUT HIS DAD AND HIS BROS 😤

WERE ALL UNREGISTERED ANIMAGI

OBVIOUSLY YOU WANTED TO BE ONE TOO

youre a gazelle

it just makes sense

father figure sirius is not happy when he finds out

uncle pads, however, couldn't be happier

its finally starting to feel like a family again

you and harry have sirius

aLSO REMUS

icon

anyway

everything is falling into place

you and harry are filling the james sized hole in Sirius’ heart (not completely but it’s better)

and he is doing the same for you two

you and harry love your uncle pads

then the battle in the department of mysteries happens

youre there

you see it

you watch as bellatrix hits sirius with a curse

youre not sure which

nothing too serious you hope, and seeing that he’s still standing he should be fine

but then he stumbles

she's stunned him perhaps

and he makes eye contact with you

there was a look so final, so sad

yet so relieved in his eyes as you watched him fall through the veil

remus grabbed harry

tonks held you

if she hadn’t been you knew you would've thrown yourself into the veil after him

its a whirlwind from then on let me tell you

so we know what happens

all that fun stuff

the war hits

harry, hermione, and ron leave

youre left with the weasley’s

it’s hard being away from harry

not knowing if he was ok

if he was even alive

you guys finally reunite at shell cottage

bill calls you the second he sees harry, hermione, ron, and dobby apparate in front of his house

you were quick to pull harry into a bone crushing hug

keen on never letting go

because after all he is still (and always will be) your baby brother

you guys are all at the battle of hogwarts

oK WAIT

YOU REFUSE TO LET HARRY WALK TO HIS DEATH ALONE

ALSO YOUVE FIGURED WHAT HE PLANS ON DOING BUT NEITHER OF YOU HAVE SAID ANYTHING

NOT WANTING TO ACCEPT THAT THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME YOU GUYS SEE EACH OTHER

AND THE RESURRECTION STONE COMES OUT

BOTH YOU AND HARRY ARE HOLDING ONTO IT

AND SUDDENLY

SIRIUS

REMUS

THERE ALL THERE

EVEN A WOMAN WITH RED HAIR

AND A MAN WHO LOOKS PAINFULLY FAMILIAR

ok so hear me out

i think harry enjoyed looking at pictures of james and lily

but you didnt

you didnt want to see everything that was taken from you

so you weren’t super aware of what your dad actually looked like seeing as you avoided pictures of him and your mom like the plague

but you just knew

and james was standing there

beaming

and he just looked so proud of you and harry

so did lily

she was the first one to say something

“Your father and I are so proud of the both of you”

and you just broke down

james right there with you

he watched as you sobbed, choking on your cries

and he couldn’t do anything about it

he couldn’t hold you or comfort you

he couldn’t be a dad

and it broke him

as much as it could break a dead man

“you’ve grown so beautiful, darling” he'd smile sadly

his voice seemed to bring back all of your memories once lost

“have you always been here, with us?”

“always.”

“typical, your father shows up and everyone forgets about uncle padfoot”

both you and harry laugh at that

but the mood was somber

harry then speaks up

“does it hurt?”

it was the first time either of you had confirmed that you both knew what was going to happen

“dying? not at all, quicker than falling asleep.”

“will you stay with me?”

“until the very end.

james is the one who answers, looking teary eyes at his son

and you know you cant go any further

harry has to do this alone

its quite symbolic actually

the one time you'd let go of the reigns

removed the protective arms you had around your baby brother

he’d die

but you had to do it

so everything goes as planned

harry dies

comes back

we love a resurrecting king

and the war ends

when you got back home from the war

let’s say you are still living at grimmauld place seeing as it was left to you

the first thing you do is go through old photos with harry

any and everything you can get your hands on

you see your mother’s sparkling green eyes

the same eyes your brother had

and your father’s unruly mop of curls

the same wave pattern in your dark hair

everything finally felt right

tags:

@pogueslandia

@vsawyer1989

@lifeofkaze

@siriusement

@erinruby003

@maybesandohnos

@onlyfreds

@fullofsourgrapes

#harry potter x sister!reader #james potter headcanon #harry potter headcanon #potter!reader

576 notes · View notes

pb-nj · 3 years

Text

Let Me Take Your Hand, I'll Make It Right

Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt

Stress relief comes in many forms.

(hc inspiration from this post)

Warning: Racism

It's surprising the cases they've had lately at Grey Sloan. All of a sudden the most mundane injuries that people come to the ER for is down to nothing. They still had their influx of non covid patients, legitimate ones at least. Mostly food poisoning; weird but not surprising since people have gone into the trend of experimental baking during lockdown and the occasional injuries that happen when families get too bored in the house.

He heard it before he actually saw it, a shout of an angered man and Levi rushes to the pit to check the commotion and he just came right at the time that his ex-boyfriend had been punched in the face by a distraught-looking man.

He saw Dr. Hunt and even Ben Warren coming to his aid but they were barely able to reach Nico before the blow was made.

"I SAID NO CHINESE DOCTORS!" The man bellowed and tried to make another move towards Nico but Ben was able to pull him back and restrain him while Dr. Hunt had used himself as a barrier between Nico and the man.

"Sir, calm down. This is a hospital and you are causing a disturbance. And you're not supposed to be in here, patients only." Dr. Hunt had one arm towards the man as he tried to reason with him. "Dr. Kim is not Chinese, he is negative from the virus and he is our only orthopaedic expert right now who can see your daughter's broken shoulder."

Levi checks the surroundings and indeed sees a teenage girl on a gurney, crying and clutching her injured arm. She was trying to get her father's attention, shaking her head hysterically but the man only kept staring daggers at Nico.

"Exactly why I snuck in here! I saw that man attending to my daughter! Chinese, Asian, whatever! They're all the same! How can you keep people like THAT working in the hospital! They caused this virus and he still has the nerve to show up here?!"

Levi exhales sharply and walks briskly to the nearest nurse station to check if security has been called, to his relief they've already called them as soon as they heard the man raise his voice. Levi looks back at Nico and his expression is merely blank, looking at the floor as if he's tuned everything out. He can see blood through his mask and some trickle from his brow, the exposed cheekbone is forming a nasty bruise, he's not gonna be surprised if his lip is cut too.

The nurses nearest to the ruckus were too afraid to come near and so Levi took it upon himself to get something from the instruments cart that Nico can wipe his face with.

He walks quietly, closer to the scene and kneels by Nico.

"Here." he whispers softly, handing some tissues to Nico.

Nico startles and that seems to get him out of his daze, looking up at Levi and slowly takes the offered tissue. He slightly lower his mask and starts dabbing at his bloodied nose. Security came right at that moment and pulled the hollering man out of the pit, his daughter sobbing loudly.

Together with Dr. Hunt they helped Nico up, "Dr. Kim, go and get checked in one of the private rooms. I'll see if I can, uh, call Dr. Lincoln to step in for this girl. I wouldn't in normal circumstances but you're pretty bashed up. Please know it's nothing to do with what that man said. Go get yourself cleaned up and have some rest."

Nico merely nods and allows the nurses to help steer him out of the pit. Taryn comes in just in time, surprise on her face when she gets a glimpse of Nico and saunters to Levi, most likely to ask what happened.

Levi could only rub his forehead as he retells the story and is halfway through when a nurse comes to disturb them.

"Dr. Schmitt, sorry to interrupt but Dr. Kim has asked for you in on call room 6. He doesn't want to be seen by anyone else." Taryn pointedly looks at Levi as he catches her eyes.

"I'll take over here and.." she pauses, raising a finger towards Levi, "I'm only allowing this because he got sucker punched in the face. You... You better not wear your heart on your sleeve. Now go see what Asian Ken doll wants."

He gives her a small smile and thanks the nurse as he makes his way to the on call room. He grabs a first aid kit on the way just in case and knocks on the door before going in.

"Hi.. What are you doing in an on call room?You were supposed to be in one of the private rooms." Levi steps over to him and he was sitting up on the bed, mask off but was inspecting his injury on his phone.

"You haven't been seen to?" Levi asks, pulling a chair over and puts the first aid kit on his lap.

Nico shakes his head, putting his phone down and meets Levi's eyes. "No. I can only trust you."

"Nico, the nurses are just as capable to tend to you, you know?"

"I know just... Please?" He looks at Levi pleadingly and the resident can only sigh and nod. Taryn told him not to put wear his heart on his sleeve but how can he when the person he still loves is hurting.

"Okay." He opens the first aid kit and starts cleaning Nico's wounds and he was right, not only did he got hit on the side of his face and nose but his lip got cut but not too bad to require stitches.

He could feel Nico looking at him, looking at his eyes as he works on the wounds. He tries his best not to flush but Nico's always had a strong look that can weaken his knees especially when he's looking at Levi. If Nico notices Levi's hands trembling he doesn't show it.

Applying a small wound strip on his lip as the last part, he sits back and finally meets Nico's eyes. The fellow had never stopped looking at Levi the whole time.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly and knowing full well his question can be consider stupid after what happened, he still asks.

Nico is silent for awhile, just staring into Levi's eyes before he lowers his gaze, clasping his fingers together.

"5th."

"Sorry, what? 5th?"

Nico nods, expression numb and his tone equally numb when he spoke, "5th.. He was the 5th person today to tell me not to go anywhere near them and the numbers go higher throughout the day. I've not only been counting patients I've lost but also patients who have rejected me. Patients who I attended before the pandemic and had to come in for emergency cases and rejecting me, asking for Link instead. Some end up agreeing when they're told Link is on paternity leave and some go home without being seen to. Saying they'll go to another hospital."

Levi's heart breaks right then and there and he can't imagine how much Nico's heart is breaking.

"Nico... I'm so sorry. I.. I never realised how much you've been going through." He takes a deep breath, raising his hand in an attempt to cover Nico's but stops himself midway. Nico noticed the gesture but doesn't move nor react.

"I got used to it over time. People are scared, worried and they just want to stay alive."

"Yes but Nico they shouldn't be afraid of you. You are not the virus. You get swabbed every week and come out negative. You don't need to suffer silently."

"Levi, this hospital is already going through hell. If I can ignore the abuse I do. I treat who wants to be treated and those who don't want me I make sure I recommend them to the best orthopaedic surgeon in another hospital. It's part of the job."

"It's not, you know it's not.." Levi tries to argue but even he is at a loss of words. He doesn't know how to make this better, how to make people not be afraid of Nico. "Has this been going on for months?"

Nico nods but his expression doesn't change. Levi studies his face for awhile and he must admit it's been awhile since he's seen Nico without a mask on and just actually look at him without doing all the other things they've been doing normally in on call rooms. He misses these moments where they can just be and having each other's presence was enough to make everything right.

"What can I do?" Levi says softly he isn't sure if Nico heard it especially with his mask still on.

Nico slowly looks up at Levi and his face is showing like he's debating on something before he responds, "Stress relief."

Did Levi hear that right? He blinks a few times, shock evident in his eyes as he makes sure he heard it correctly.

"Stress relief? Stress relief as in.. now?" He must've looked comical,which is a success in itself since half of his face is covered, because Nico chuckles and smiles.

That smile reached Levi's heart and he hasn't seen that smile in months. Even when fooling around lately he actually hasn't seen Nico's real smile.

"Yeah stress relief." He's smirking now and Levi wonders how Nico Kim can still look hot smirking with bruised and bloody lips.

"I mean.. Okay if that's your thing but you should really be resting."

"Can you sit next to me?"

Levi raises a brow, putting away the first aid kit on his lap and placing it on a table. He moves to sit on the edge of the bed next to Nico.

"Did you get punched that hard? I mean should we ask for a CT?"

"Turn around."

"What? Nico are you okay? and like not feelings-wise but like in the head.. How many fingers am I holding up?" Levi waves a peace sign in front of Nico but the other just kept staring at him with a small smile on his face at Levi's antics.

"Turn around Levi."

Levi huffs and gives in turning around, his back now facing Nico. He nearly jumps out of his skin when arms wrap around his waist from behind and Nico touched his forehead to Levi's shoulder.

His hands hang in the air awkwardly as Nico hugs him from the back, not really sure what to do until he hears soft sniffling from behind him and his heart breaks at the sound. He places one hand on the arms that seems to cling tighter and tighter and the other reaches back until he can pet Nico's hair carefully.

He closes his eyes as he keeps hearing the sniffling and ragged breaths of Nico's cries and he too feels like he's gonna break down just from hearing it but he has to be strong. Strong for the person who he's known to only be strong and act strong.

Levi allows Nico to cry it all out. He doesn't know if he's crying out the today or the past week, past months or perhaps he's crying out everything he's never cried out before but he knows they've been there for a long time like that because he could feel how stiff his body is from being in the same position for so long. It's a surprise no one has come looking for him but he guessed Taryn had something to do with it.

Nico's hold finally relaxes and he leans back on the headboard again, not bothering to wipe his tears. He merely swallows thickly and closes his eyes. "Thank you, Levi."

Levi turns around and this time he doesn't hesitate to place a hand on Nico's, "I can't make people change their prejudices but I can be here, I'm always here. For this kind of stress relief and the other." He grins sheepishly and it makes Nico open his eyes and chuckle at him.

"I miss seeing your whole face." He admits and once again Levi's heart soars.

"Nico-..." He starts and of course he gets paged. They were bound to need him soon enough. "Page, non covid and all other residents have their hands full. I gotta go."

Nico merely nods, that soft expression still on his face.

"Get some rest and just.. tell me, us, anyone.. If you need anything." He walks backwards, trying to keep Nico in his sight for as long as he can before he walks out the door.

This was Levi's 7th devastating news to give out and this was the worst today. The patient was about to get married, they've made plans to have a small ceremony, just them and their parents and it was 4 days before the wedding when she started getting symptoms. She died and they didn't even know she was 4 weeks pregnant. Her fiance is practically on the floor sobbing, his mother holding him. Levi is just stood there, unable to do much. He stands there until the mother and son manages to get up and give him a quick thank you before leaving.

He clutches his tablet to his chest, letting out a shaky breath and trying to keep from tearing up. He gets a message on his phone and it's.. it's from Nico.

Come see me. The usual.

He isn't sure what to make of it and he pockets his phone. He hasn't had a break yet and so can do with some while he goes to find Nico.

After that time Nico got punched, they've only come to each other for sexual relief. It's like Nico has cried out everything and is back to himself completely. They don't talk about that time and Levi doesn't allow himself to be confused by that time. He takes what he can from Nico and leaves it at that or so he makes himself believe but he's getting better at this purely physical thing.

He makes it to their usual on call room and as soon as he opens the door he is already talking, "Look Nico I'm not in the mood. Can we do this another time?"

"I saw you just now.. Breaking the news to that family. Must've been hard."

Levi is taken aback because he didn't see him around that time.

"I was just behind you, updating another family. You looked like you had an even harder time breaking the news to them."

"She.. She was pregnant and.. They didn't even know and they were supposed to get married in a few days." He shudders out a breath, hugging himself as he shares the news.

"Okay." Is all Nico says before he turns around, back now facing Levi and oh...

He knows he shouldn't and he knows they need to talk if they keep doing this for each other, being there for each other but right now he just needs this.. needs Nico.

And so he wraps his arms around Nico's waist, rests his forehead on his broad back and cries, not even caring that he is now full on sobbing and Nico, he rests his hands on Levi's arms and eventually takes one of his hands and intertwine their fingers together as Levi keeps crying on him.

They both know they're blurring the lines again and Nico isn't sure if he is ready for that. They're at the precipice where it may just go downhill if they make the wrong move.

But for now.. he holds Levi and lets him cry.

#schmico #nico kim #levi schmitt #grey's anatomy

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comradekatara · 4 years

Note

any more hcs on sokka and azula’s “rivalry”?

sokka has been the competition since day one. he’s the only person in this godforsaken den of idiots who can remotely keep up with her trenchant mind. she despises him, naturally.

every week, zuko hears her rehearse debate strategies on the way to school, and he feels that trademark mix of irritation and concern he feels for her whenever she is doing something particularly on-brand. “i’m going to crush sokka today,” she announces to him proudly. “i’m going to destroy him.” zuko sighs, rolls his eyes, and proclaims, “for the last time, azula, i don’t know who that is!”

sokka is confused as to why a freshman he doesn’t know approaches him in the halls today to say “i see someone doesn’t seem to care about their so-called perfect attendance record.” and sokka’s really tired so he’s just like, “i was at my girlfriend’s funeral. is that okay with you, random child?? is that allowed???” azula just narrows her eyes and says, “hm. lucky save.” this actually gets sokka to laugh for the first time all week.

sometimes sokka will complain to katara about the young republican in his debate class. oftentimes katara will complain to sokka about the girl on the team who’s always taunting her for no goddamn reason. they get way more excited than they should the day that they realize that they are talking about the same person. sokka suddenly forgives katara for all those times he had to pick her up from detention for getting into fistfights during practice, because yeah, he’s heard her stance on affirmative action, so perhaps she simply got what she deserved :)

the first time azula sees zuko talking to sokka in the halls, she is shaken to her core. she knew he was ruthless, a master tactician, but what kind of cruel gambit is this??? she demands that zuko tell her everything they were talking about. zuko’s like “you know that cardigans album ‘first band on the moon’???” and azula, who would never wear nor listen to a cardigan, is just like “what kinda 5D chess is he playing..........”

azula is desperate to know what sokka got on his SATs. he won’t tell her, because why the fuck would he. it keeps her up at night. eventually he gets sick of her incessant texting, so he blocks her number. she hacks into zuko’s phone and writes, “’Sup, bro? Did you get your SAT results back too? How’d you do?” and sokka just responds, “hi zuko! what a normal question!” and then lets zuko know the next day at school that azula stole his phone.

sokka actually raises his voice one time in debate. it is during a resolution that “colonialism has its benefits, actually.” he manages to stay level while explaining his position, but some kid in the back nods thoughtfully while azula is spouting nonsense, and sokka just points a finger at him and yells, “I SEE YOU NODDING, WHITE BOY.” katara oh so desperately wishes she had been there to witness that glorious moment, but since she’s not a nerd, she doesn’t do debate.

one lovely summer’s day, azula follows zuko all the way from home, waits a reasonable amount of time, and then just walks past them, lowers her sunglasses and goes, oh so casually, “zuzu? zuzu’s friend? can it really be you? why, whatever are you doing in the park?” zuko just responds flatly, “i thought you said that ‘parks are for vagrants and the poor.’” and azula’s like, “nonsense! i’m meeting mai and ty lee here right now.” sokka says, “but suki just sent me a picture of her with ty lee three minutes ago.” and zuko says, “and mai is babysitting tom tom because their au pair came down with tb.” azula mumbles that actually, she’s talking about someone else, and also what the fuck, do people even still get tb??? and zuko just frowns and says, “but azula, you don’t have any other friends.” she laughs and says, “shows what you know,” and saunters off, a confident stride in her step all the way home. at which point she locks herself in her room and screams into a pillow. meanwhile, at the park, sokka is like, “do people still get tb???” and zuko just shrugs and says, “i don’t know; i just felt like calling her bluff.”

azula thinks it is most outrageous that sokka is valedictorian considering that he has countless absences from his freshman and sophomore years. ty lee just blinks and tilts her head. “azula, how do you even know that?” she asks, at which point azula casually admits that she has copies of his entire record and all his grades. ty lee is very scared, but wisely does not inform sokka. better to let him live in blissful ignorance, she thinks.

her senior year is very dull without sokka. ty lee suggests that she find another hobby to replace it. azula’s just like “what are you implying????” but they both know ty lee chooses her words very deliberately. azula takes up archery.

she calls zuko once all year, and it is to inform him that she is going to harvard. he wishes her the best of luck, and then promptly hangs up. at harvard, which is in boston, perhaps you’ve heard of it, she does the engineering and the pre-law track, because if zuko’s going to be every immigrant parents’ worst nightmare by majoring in some humanities bullshit, she may as well make her father twice as proud. (lowkey she is kind of ashamed that she’s not pre-med, but she knows she’d make a better lawyer than doctor.) she refuses to admit that the workload is too much for her until people she doesn’t even know start coming up to her to ask her if she’s okay.

in her senior year at harvard, she has a ...bit of a mental breakdown. finals are approaching, and the pressure has finally gotten too much for her, and she just cracks. she takes some really shitty scissors, like, those kids’ scissors with the zagged edges, and gives herself “bangs.” she cries in the shower until the water gets so cold she screams. she eats nothing but cheetos for three whole days and she doesn’t even bother to wash her hands. she drunk dials zuko to be like “oh i am doing so good you don’t even KNOW.” zuko plays the six voicemails she left him at 3am back to sokka, who’s like “i think we have to go to boston???”

because azula is very sensitive right now, zuko pretends that he’s there to ask her for money. he takes her to lunch, which she wears sweatpants to, and sokka just happens to run into them. azula’s like “what the fuck are you doing here???” and he’s like “oh....you know......just visiting my cousin......” to which azula’s like “you have a white cousin?” but then zuko invites him to have lunch with them, and azula brags about how great she’s been doing in college and how she’s top of her class and is gonna go to harvard for law school as well, and sokka’s like “that’s so great! i had no doubt you could do it.” and then she openly sobs in the middle of a restaurant and zuko can feel all the other patrons of this boston establishment glare at them and he’s just like “azula do you mind not being so loud?? we are begging to be hatecrimed” and tries to apologize to everyone on her behalf. after she stops crying, she’s like “well, i must be off to cambridge now! don’t know why we went all the way into boston, since i have a lecture in an hour” and sokka’s like “ok cool bye” but then zuko kicks him and he says, very naturally, “you know, i’ve always wanted to know what the harvard campus is like.” (he doesn’t mention that he saw the harvard campus when he toured MIT.) azula’s just like “of course you would.”

they end up staying with azula until they can persuade her to see a therapist, which takes a really long time because azula believes that therapists are a scam for weak-willed white liberals who love to complain, but sokka manages to organically bring up how he was in therapy intensively for a really long time after yue’s death, and this finally manages to convince her. it takes her a really long time to adjust to therapy because she sees it like a game she refuses to lose, but having completed their mission, sokka and zuko are confident that she’s sprung back enough that at least they don’t have to keep staying in this really creepy motel in boston that zuko is convinced is haunted. she ends up having to repeat the semester, and then takes another semester off, but she goes to harvard law after that.

she makes partner in record speeds. women hate her, and men fear her. her makeup never smudges, her outfits are always impeccable. she never loses a case. then her father dies. she sees zuko at the funeral, and though she stays completely calm throughout the day, she’s a mess on the way home. zuko hates driving, but he drives her home because she had half a bottle of vodka and it’s evident that she is softly crying because her eyeliner teartracks are running over themselves, black smudges spilling down her face. he sleeps on her couch. he’s still there the next morning, and he’s gotten her fresh pastries for breakfast, which she must admit, is a lot tastier than black coffee and a protein bar. he insists that she take another day off work, and she’s like “um they already let me have one day off for the funeral??? i can’t just miss my job willy-nilly, zuzu. it’s my job.” he is so concerned for her. so he reaches out more after that. eventually, she reaches back.

after a lot of coaxing from zuko, sokka unblocks her phone number and texts her, “hey, how’ve you been?” she agonizes over this text for two days, at which point she responds, “Fine.” he writes, “i’m gonna be home for the holidays. if you’re around we should hang out!” and azula, who had no such plans of going anywhere for the holidays, especially not back home, where she has no family left, anyway, is like “Yeah okay.”

seeing sokka for the first time in years, and katara, who she hasn’t seen for even longer, is really jarring for azula. katara’s in a happy relationship. sokka has a fulfilling career. she always told herself she’d get a girlfriend after she got on the supreme court, but that suddenly seems awfully far away as she watches katara’s boyfriend dote on her. aang, this guy who was a few grades below her and insanely popular, throws a new year’s eve party, and invites a whole bunch of people from their highschool because apparently, he was not only friends with everyone, but regularly keeps in touch with all of them. horrid. absolutely horrid. azula goes, out of sheer curiosity. she sees toph, who is having the time of her life at this party that is neither a black tie fundraiser nor a dinner party, and as casually as possible asks her where sokka is, since of course she still remembers that sokka and toph were best friends in high school (though is in fact unaware that they still are). tophs just like “oh, you know how zuko hates parties, so he and sokka just stayed home.” azula gets lightheaded despite having not yet had a drop of alcohol. what exactly did toph say??? toph, yelling this time so that azula may hear her better, yells, “HE AND ZUKO STAYED HOME.” azula’s just like “what the fuck?!??!??!”

#sokka and azula's petty highschool rivalry the saga #azula #sokka #zuko #azula&sokka #azula&zuko #sokkaxzuko #asks #anon #modern au

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crimson-snowfall · 4 years

Note

Hey, I want to tell you that I really like your blog! And I have a short question: do you write nsfw stuff? If you do, can you write hc for Theo, Vincent and Comte when they first bite the mc?

Thank you anon, I’m glad you like my blog. I do accept NSFW requests (just not sure about how good I can write them since it’s not my forte). I have not yet read Theo nor Comte’s route, and while I’m currently reading Vincent’s route at the time of writing, I have not yet reached the part where he bites MC. Anyway this is a bit longer than I expected, but I hope you like it ~

[Mildly NSFW] Ikevamp HC request: When they first bit MC (Vincent, Theodorus, & Comte de Saint-Germain)

Vincent

Having never drank blood from a human directly before and being his first time to have truly fallen in love, Vincent couldn’t understand why his thirst won’t be quenched no matter how much rouge he consumes.

As soon as he makes sense of his feelings after consulting with Theo, he tries his best to avoid you out of fear that he might end up hurting you or drink too much of your blood.

The two of you used to spend a lot of time together, so it made you really sad when you realized he started avoiding you. One evening, you caught him staring longingly at you. Vincent seemed to be in a deep trance for he kept his eyes on you even as you approached him and asked him if there’s anything he needed.

He looked rather pale, and somehow one of your hands found its way to his cheek. As soon as you made contact, Vincent snapped out of whatever trance he had been and looked at you, wide eyed.

Heaving a deep sigh, Vincent took your hand off his cheeks, intending to put it away before he could do anything. He never would’ve imagined his thirst could take over that time, and he found himself kissing and licking your wrist.

His fangs grazing on your pulse, he was about to bite you when you called out his name in confusion. Vincent immediately let go of your hand and stood frozen on the spot for a few seconds, before his gaze met yours once again.

“Sorry about that… I… I must’ve been…” at loss for words, he turned around and headed to the direction of his room, apologizing once again as he fled and muttering something about how he had to go.

You can no longer bear the fact that he’s been avoiding you, so you went after him. You already had a hunch as to why based on the hints an irritated Theo had been dropping lately, and the fact that Vincent was about to bite you was all the confirmation you needed.

Vincent sat on his couch, distress evident on his posture. Once he again, he seemed to be too absorbed in whatever has been running on his mind as he failed to notice you enter the room and sit next to him. Being the kind and gentle person he is, you figured that you had to be the one to initiate somehow, because he would never ask for it and the problem would never be solved.

Vincent jolted a little at the suddenness of your embrace, and you took that opportunity to steal a soft kiss from his lips.

“What are you doing here? I’m… it’s not safe for you to be—” his already hoarse voice was cut off with an almost feral sound reverberating from his throat, and in just a split second you found yourself pinned down on the couch.

You could see the violent storm whirling in Vincent’s usually clear eyes as he fought back the urge to take you then and there, and before you even knew it, you were confessing your love for him.

“…That’s why, there’s no need for you to hold back. Take as much as you need. I’m all yours.”

“Can I, really? Am I really allowed to… have this much and be this happy?” The last part was a mere whisper and it was utterly heart-wrenching hearing him ask something like that.

“You deserve the world, Vincent.” With those words you pulled his head down your neck. His tongue flicked on your skin the same skillful way he handled a paintbrush against a canvas. He slowly buried his fangs into your neck, the pain lasting only for the first few centimeters, after which the waves of pleasure coursed through your body with each fraction of his fangs burying deeper into your neck.

The night quickly escalated into a heated, passionate one, and you had to take the next day off your duties not only because Vincent had accidentally marked you everywhere, but mainly you couldn’t even so much walk on your own after last night’s intense lovemaking.

Theo

That night, you thought Theo just went out drinking with Arthur, but when the flirtatious author came home alone and perfectly sober, anxiety began to consume you. You were there when the myrmidons of the Academie threatened Theo to stop with his activities of giving exposure to new artists, or face the consequences.

Your worst fears came to life when you see your lover staggering to the mansion, clutching a badly injured, bleeding arm. You rushed to his side, tears already streaming down your face as you helped him in and called for help from the other residents of the mansion.

“What are you crying for, hondje? I’m a vampire, you know. This is nothing.” Theo did his best to sound like his usual self, but even as a vampire, getting ambushed and stabbed twice on the same arm still hurt like hell.

Sebastian and Vincent helped you tend to Theo’s wounds. Vincent offered to look after his brother, but Theo insisted that he can handle himself and that both you and Vincent should go back to your rooms and get a good night’s sleep. Vincent readily obliged, leaving you and Theo alone in his room.

“What now, knabbeltje? Didn’t you hear what I just said?” To him, it really seemed like you didn’t, for your eyes were still fixated on the bandaged wound, eyes still puffy from crying earlier.

Using his good arm, he pulled you from were you were seated, putting you on top of him. Theo pat your head then pulled you into the tightest embrace he could without straining his wounded arm.

“Silly hondje. Are you that afraid to lose your master?” Theo kissed your head and proceeded to stroke your hair.

“I can’t help it. How else did you expect me to react seeing you leave a trail of blood behind you? And you’re not really immortal like Comte, so if anything happened to you, I—”

You looked like you were on the verge of tears again, so Theo took the liberty of sealing your lips with his own before you could even say things that would make you cry. That was when his blood loss began to take a toll on his body, and he reluctantly broke the kiss as his fangs enlarged.

“Theo… your fangs…” You touched his fangs like a child in awe, drawing a hiss from him. You have longed to be bitten by him for quite some time now, to feel his fangs lodged in your neck as he fucked you silly. Theo gave you all of himself but he always denied you the bite, the sadist taking pleasure in seeing your frustrated and desperate expression.

“Hands off, hondje. My fangs are not a treat.” It was your turn to wear that smug expression your lover often wore as you pressed a finger against his fang, Theo’s eyes widening as you increased the pressure until it pierced your finger.

The scent of your blood had always been alluring to him, but even more so in his injured state. In a flash, you found yourself pinned down against the mattress, a dark smile on your lover’s handsome features as he eyed you like a predator would his prey.

“Well played, hondje. You’re finally getting what you want tonight.” Theo allowed himself just a single lick on your neck before biting down with full intensity, the pleasure increasing proportionally with the strength of his bite that it left you a moaning mess.

Aside from Theo finally losing in his game and you confirming Arthur’s claims that a vampire’s bite is a pleasurable one, the thing that amazed you the most perhaps is how Theo managed to fuck you to soreness even when’s he injured.

Comte

The promised day where Comte bites you and turns you into a vampire has finally come, and while on the surface he maintains his usual elegance and air of nobility, being the one who knows him the most you can’t help but notice the mild apprehension on his eyes as you straddled on his lap.

Brushing aside his golden locks, you pressed a small kiss on his forehead and asked him if he’s having second thoughts about it.

“I was just a little surprised that you would ask for it so soon, ma chérie.” Comte closed his eyes under your touch, his hands moving to pull you closer to him.

He did not miss the way your eyes wavered for a bit, and you immediately knew because of the deep sigh that followed his statement. Mimicking your actions from earlier, he brushed aside your fringes and looked deeply into your eyes.

“You don’t need to force yourself, ma chérie. Like I said–”

“No, no. I can’t stand it anymore!” You knew he was a bit taken aback by your sudden outburst with the way his grip on your hips mildly tensed, and you couldn’t look him in the eye.

You went on and confessed about the hint of sadness you would see in his eyes every time he made love to you, and you just knew it’s his desire have your blood that’s causing him that unmistakable longing.

“I don’t want there to be sadness in your eyes anymore, Comte. And I want this too. So please…” Those were your words as you slowly took off your blouse, before seductively baring your neck to him, inviting, the look in your eyes full of lust.

Comte has lived through hundreds, or even thousands of years— it doesn’t really matter how long since he has long lost count of the years, but that moment would have to be the first time he has felt so much impulse and desire coursing through his entirety, and it scared him to death at the same time that he might drink you dry if he does not find another outlet for that overwhelming desire.

Soon, both of your clothes and undergarments lay discarded on the floor. You’re no longer straddling him; instead you laid sprawled out on the bed, with Comte leaving fiery kisses on every inch of your skin.

His thick, heated length rubbed against your entrance as he kissed and licked that sweet spot on your neck, and in one fluid motion, he sank his fangs into your neck and buried himself deep inside you.

You felt Comte’s desire flowing into you with every gulp of blood and each thrust of his body, perfectly mingling with your own lust. You lost your self to pleasure the night you lost your humanity– and if your new-found eternity is going to be like anything that night, then you really have no need of death to know what heaven is like.

Eyy is that really an HC I think I might’ve written a full scenario, help

Also in case anyone is wondering, the Academie I mentioned in Theo’s HC is an actual thing in the routes, and basically they’re traditionalists who put down artists exploring a new style, so they’re at odds with Theo who discovers and promotes new talents.

With regards to incoming requests: I’m currently busy with university at the moment (quiz weeks and finals season), so any incoming requests after this might have to wait until the first week of February before I can work on and post them. But if you’re willing to wait, my ask box is always open. I would also appreciate and prioritize Valentine’s-themed requests.

#ikemen vampire #ikemen series #ikevamp #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp theo #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikemen vampire vincent #ikemen vampire theo #ikemen vampire theodorus #ikemen vampire comte #ikevamp headcanon #ikevamp scenarios #ikevamp scenario #ikemen vampire scenarios #ikemen vampire headcanon #ikemen headcanon

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yunsoh · 4 years

Note

can you do hc: furuba characters and their star signs?

i unfortunately am insufferable about astrology so this turned into. a whole thing. but here goes.

i’m only focusing on the main four (tohru, kyo, yuki, shigure) and then also kakeru and machi because i have thought about their charts to a degree where i might as well just lay them out here. i’m going to try and keep the descriptions brief (oh my god. never mind. this didn’t happen at all**), but ofc if you want more info/have questions you can shoot me an ask abt it.

**i ended up saying too much so. tohru, kyo, and shigure’s will be in this post, and then i’m just gonna. do a separate post/reply to this one with yuki, kakeru, and machi’s lmfao. just to be considerate of people, you know, maybe not wanting to read the biggest wall of text in the world.

i guess just some baseline things:

- i won’t be going into every single planet/house placement/aspect because that’s 2 much man, but i’ll talk about the parts i think are most immediately interesting.

- i decided to challenge myself a little and look up actual charts rather than just making up my own. which means i went ahead and took a sick guesstimate about their “actual birthdays” based on the years they were born and then the sun/moon/rising combinations that i figured fit them best. yes this is a ridiculous thing to do for fictional characters. yes i now have fictional characters charts sitting in my list on astro.com. but also yes i had fun doing it so it’s w/e. (and yes i know takaya specifically said that they don’t have birthdays but literally when have i ever listened to her abt anything. my city now.)

- birth years i based on the manga since that’s their like, real core characters. they’re 80s kids and shigure is a 70s dad it’s just how it is.

- take all this with a whole salt mine. like actually. but also my apologies if this is at all confusing, bc i know it’s a lot of like....... more intermediate astrology stuff. hopefully it’s at all comprehensible.

- i’ll also add the disclaimer that if you personally have literally any of these placements please god do not take what i say as like, word of god or whatever. it’s all dependent. i’m also reading them for fictional characters with like... established characterizations..... so use ur best judgement.

this is incredibly long so it’s going under a cut.

tohru

taurus sun, cancer moon, pisces rising; taurus mercury, pisces venus, libra mars (retrograde).

part of me hates how predictable this is but if it works it works lmfao.

pisces rising & pisces venus in the 1st house are the things that are probably most immediately apparent about tohru to her peers -- pisces brings with it a receptive quality, in that it almost acts as an open channel in the world. it doesn’t really have any defenses up, and in that sense is prone to getting hit by. absolutely everything. depending on what the rest of the chart entails, this can be completely crushing and overwhelming, or it can be handled with some grace. or both, which is the case with tohru. important too is to consider the chart ruler (the rising sign’s ruling planet), which is jupiter under traditional rulerships, and neptune under modern -- personally, i prefer traditional rulerships, so i’m going with jupiter lmao. jupiter here is in the 8th house, which is indicative of being rather open about areas that are typically seen as taboo or not socially spoken of, specifically concerning other people’s matters (rather than the self). jupiter in 8th is also indicative of luck when it comes to other people’s resources, as it’s a house of merging with another.

because pisces is such a receptive source, other people are both comforted and taken aback by it. pisces risings are often considered a little weird (or a lot), and frequently view the world on a baseline of emotion -- they’re keenly aware of the energy in the room, and have a tendency to carry other people’s emotions with them. at the same time, they can have trouble discerning their own emotions -- everything is just kind of a big swirl of feeling. but, we do see tohru frequently step herself away from that overwhelm, or be guided out of it, through more grounded and physical acts of service, rather than emotional. taurus sun and mercury lends some reprieve for her here; when she starts to feel overwhelmed, she is often guided back to her self-determination, in which she quiets her thoughts by getting herself back into the work grind, or reminds herself of what her root motivations are, either within the given moment or in the long-term.

taurus is a bit of a double-edged sword for her, because while it’s a grounding force, it also leaves her with putting up walls around herself in order to avoid help from other people. taurus is heavily self-reliant, and proud of what they can do for themselves and others -- but when it comes to actually needing help, and needing to ask for help, their first instinct is to refuse. it’s basically like pulling teeth. in the 2nd house, this is especially poignant -- her pride (sun) is rooted in the realm of work ethic, finances, routines. that self-reliance always comes up in the form of knowing she’ll have to provide for herself after graduation, and sees going at things alone as a sort of “training” in a sense, even when it harms her or puts her in harm’s way (this is also evident by aries being the 2nd house cusp, in that she takes this area of life as a challenge and is particularly energized by it, even if it’s to the point of burnout).

cancer moon also has a hand in this, as far as being slow to open up emotionally goes -- while she’s someone who has her heart on her sleeve (very much due to pisces venus in 1st), this doesn’t mean that she’s actually vulnerable about her emotions. cancer moons often find their strength in providing for others, and find emotional comfort in giving other people a place to feel safe, most stereotypically through physical comforts like food and gentle/welcoming environments. they also tend to operate in self-care in this way, by making themselves physically comfortable. this self-care can often come up due to just the sheer exhaustion of feeling and accepting emotions quite easily, but not feeling comfortable fully expressing them. she isn’t completely repressed -- again, she emotes very easily (a combination of venus in 1st and moon in 5th; moon in 5th allows for a freer self-expression, to the point of being over the top at times) -- but she shields herself from opening up fully, until it really just completely overwhelms her and she ends up more or less exploding to let everything out. cancer moon is also highly, highly bonded to their emotional memory! their memories are their well of emotion.

i want to touch on what’s going on with the 7th house, because i think it looks a little scary at first glance. 7th house rules our one-on-one partnerships, including (but not limited to) long-term romances and friendships. pluto and saturn are intense and challenging energies respectively -- pluto asks for transformation and rebirth, saturn stands for personal challenges that have to be deliberately overcome. mars is a planet of drive and ambition, but also a place of conflict. it’s a lot of difficult energy to consider, but i think it fits her quite well, especially considering her issues of letting her guard down and being emotionally vulnerable. her personal struggle (saturn) is about really, honestly letting people into her life, without feeling inadequate or unworthy. understanding that she’s worthy of the love she receives is something she struggles to fully comprehend up to the end because of a low self-esteem (which is somewhat tied to pisces venus -- pisces venus tends to surrender themselves quite a bit, which doesn’t always mark a low-self esteem [as we’ll see....in a later chart], but can absolutely err that way if there aren’t other parts of the chart to ground it or overpower it with more self-affirming placements, such as a developed taurus placement. pisces venus can feel a little lost in themselves and instead rely on the emotions of the room to determine where their confidence is -- if emotions are good, they’re good. if not, they’re not.)

mars in 7th is indicative of feeling revitalized and driven by these close relationships, but also overflows to the point of arguing -- in which she’s usually arguing because she’s fighting for them and not with them. mars is in retrograde here, which follows the general theme of internalizing issues rather than externalizing them (in 7th house, this often comes up as her getting frustrated with the situations her friends are in and carries it by herself, and is driven to then handle these issues even if her friends are completely unaware. uo and kyo come to mind specifically). mars being in libra, she especially feels inclined towards a sense of doing right for and by the people she loves, even if she does it in ways that can be more than a little intense at times. also struggles a little with being alone! plays off of other people’s energy constantly.

pluto in 7th i think is like........ kind of poetic for her lmao....... especially as it deals with finding transformation/rebirth through these committed, personal relationships. her whole arc involves her feeling an immense guilt over not only feeling as though she’s losing her mom as time passes, but then also “replacing” her in her heart as she falls in love with kyo. and it’s with kyo that she finds strength to grow into and understand herself in ways she hadn’t before. but it’s also a markedly intense transformation for her, and one that repeatedly breaks her heart because it’s a difficult change (saturn being conjunct pluto here absolutely doesn’t soften the matter oml). but she comes out the other side a stronger and more confident person.

one last note, because i just remembered someone asked me ages ago about this: north node! north node is indicative of the path we’re asked to take during this lifetime (versus the south node, which is indicative of what we are already comfortable with; regarding karma, it’s the path we’ve become familiarized with through past lives). north node here is in cancer in the 5th house, almost directly conjunct the moon. a cancer north node is indicative of needing to move away from issues of detachment, competitiveness, workaholic tendencies, elitism, mommy issues (capricorn issues; the south node is always exactly opposite the north), and instead moving towards compassion, self-care, inclusivity, maternal energy. some of these are already present in tohru via other aspects of her chart (compassion and inclusivity, maternal energy), but there are some that are more. difficult things she has to move on from lmao..... being conjunct moon, this is an especially emotional and sensitive part of the journey. 5th house north node is indicative of needing to work towards expressing the self in a way that is purely for the self, rather than for others -- there’s already a comfort in being able to provide for the collective other, but shifting the focus to more “selfish” expression is grounds for discomfort. a journey towards being able to be more unapologetically self-expressive and self-loving. the fun thing about north node is that for the most part, the chart will always be indicative of the issues that need to be considered and overcome in order to face it, so i feel like at this point it all speaks for itself lmao.

(a note; the nodes take about a year and a half to change signs, so everyone within this cohort is going to have the same north node in cancer. which comes up in different ways for each considering house placement & aspects but still. kids the mommy issues.... the superiority/inferiority complexes..... kids......

also i’ll add that in Real Life north node is usually a lifelong struggle to fully realize/accomplish, but ofc. this is fiction. character arcs and speedrunning personal development and the like.)

there’s more to talk about here but like. i’ve already said too much omfg. moving on.

kyo

capricorn sun, aries moon, aries rising; capricorn mercury, capricorn venus, aquarius mars.

yes. the poetic cinema of him and tohru both having a saturn-pluto conjunction in the 7th house. i see it. i am perceiving it.

but before that, some talk about the aries and capricorn of it all. aries and capricorn are both so inherently driven to just do. aries is the initial spark and the short-term determination, the immediate reaction to things, while capricorn is the more plodding slow-burn and considers time and longevity. they’re similar in determination, but clash because of the fight between impatience and time, and reacting immediately versus careful consideration. these more patient traits are present in him, but for a while they’re buried under his inclination to react to things. aries rising views the world as something of a personal challenge, and can put a lot of pressure on themselves in order to overcome these matters. but, they come at it with a borderline unwavering determination; they fall down a lot and are quick to get back up again. other people can find them pushy or cocky, or just too “in your face” about like..... everything lmao...... because they’re just blunt. they see the world honestly (or, so they think) and react to it honestly. this ties too to aries moon, in which the emotional reaction to things is very much a quick, bursting reaction, and then it fizzling out not long after. emotions tend to zip by very quickly -- they’re felt for a moment, and then it’s passed.

moon in 12th, though, makes these emotions a bit more ambiguous to understand -- fire moons feel intensely and suddenly, but a layer of ambiguity that the 12th house provides can make it feel as though emotions are being muddied, and not seen clearly. what we see then with kyo is having these intense reactions to things, but being off-base with consciously understanding why he’s feeling that way. for him, it’s also in part a purposeful shielding and misdirect; he knows subconsciously what the root of these issues actually are, but in the heat of the moment, it’s misdirected to what’s exactly in front of him. it’s a mode of self-protection. this struggle is also present in this sun square moon situation -- sun square moon offers the challenge of the head and heart not working together, and often having conflicting desires (individualizing vs emotional security). capricorn sun in particular is a fairly grounded and practical placement, so up against the wiles of aries moon in 12th, there’s a deep struggle to actually feel grounded. it also presents an issue of feeling as though there’s something to prove in themselves to others, especially regarding self-worth, which is exacerbated by capricorn’s ambitions and moon in 12th’s difficulty with truly seeing themselves; they tend to take things too personally lmao. on the flipside, moon in 12th is actually quite in tune with other people’s emotions, even when they can’t fully comprehend their own. when he lets himself open up a little, he’s shown to be quite understanding of tohru’s emotions in particular, even when she’s not being forthcoming.

lot of mars energy and aspects going on here that also push against capricorn’s groundedness & practicality -- aside from the aries rising & mars chart ruler, the moon is in an easy, sextile relationship with mars (in which mars’ reactions flows easily into the moon reacting), mars itself is in an easy, flowing relationship with uranus (planet of very sudden change; mars sextile uranus asks for high energy levels and a need for something to be going on) and a difficult, square aspect with saturn, which causes a repression and frustration/inhibition for mars. the mars energy here is just one frustration after another. aries rising at least grants him the wherewithal to channel that energy somewhere productive, so when it’s not channeled into his self-loathing, it’s channeled into athletics. he’s trying.

speaking of, aquarius mars being the chart ruler is a little interesting to parse, if only because it does sit so strongly against all of the capricorn energy. aquarius mars is like......... kind of a freak LMAO. in a good way. in some charts it sits as something that’s more blatantly against the social norm, and in others it sits more as a quiet but consistent rebellion. the latter i think is the case here, if only because of that tough square with saturn and all that capricorn energy erring on the side of conformity. i think it’s interesting to take the cat lore into this, considering that the cat’s “downfall” in the story was that it was the only one, among god and all the other animals, to go against the wish for an eternal banquet -- its lack of conformity ended up in the cat being seen from there on out as an enemy. there’s something just inherently nonconforming about the cat, but it becomes a repressed and self-hated thing within kyo because it’s so incredibly alienating in the scope of his immediate family. at the same time, there’s something also inherently rebellious in the ways he seeks out to be the first cat to ever be included within the inner family, even if it all ends up for naught (mars’ contact with moon in 12th i think comes into play here, if only that his motivations are so heavily skewed; he becomes intensely avoidant when he’s asked to face his real issues surrounding the matter). aquarius mars is also very much about being driven for overall social change and reform, which, again, stands at an odds with capricorn’s more staunch viewpoints (he’s not exactly the most accepting of people who step out of the social norm, but this i equate more to capricorn venus in 10th -- traditionalist views regarding personal aesthetics, in a house regarding one’s reputation; also is incredibly self-critical and can project that onto others), but he does in the end fight against the system that his family has put in place for him and is, eventually, a major part of the catalyst for the curse’s downfall. pretty sick shit.

on a less ‘large scale’ level, aquarius mars affects his social sphere -- the 11th house rules the realm of friendships, teams, groups, anything having to do with a collective, as well as hopes and aspirations. mars here is both invigorated by (and invigorating to) social groups, and can find itself being challenged by them. kyo’s self esteem regarding his social skills can be attributed to the fact that he does feel like an outsider, but he’s actually pretty socially attuned once he settles in. aquarius tends to struggle with needing its alone time, alongside feeling like it doesn’t quite fit in, but at its core it’s a social sign -- there’s a required balance between being alone and needing to be with others. it can take aquarius a while to really find comfort in social settings, i think, so i think it’s fitting that this is an area that kyo struggles with for a time.

okay. god i already wrote so much. and yet...... okay. capricorn sun, mercury, and venus -- sun in 9th does seek a basic desire to be able to expand its worldview outside of the confines of home, and this runs along the theme of kyo’s being caged in a major way. sun conjunct neptune here is also indicative of how easily he gives up on that desire and submits to powers above him; neptune acts as a shroud, and can be a challenge for the sun’s ego to work with, especially in the case of the ego being harmed in any way (such as through abuse). it’s imperative that there’s someone who is able to guide the sun back to its goals, especially in the case of a capricorn sun, which can really suffer under the feeling that they aren’t actively doing or achieving, or can otherwise be prone to melancholy in self-perceived defeat. also concurs with the themes of sun square moon in 12th. capricorn mercury and venus in 10th, a focus on getting shit done lmfao. mercury here tends to be a problem-solver, but can also err towards thinking they’re the smartest person in the room or use otherwise demeaning vocab (kyo........ yeah). venus here typically tends towards wanting to be in a place of getting attention, but square that moon in 12th this is something. highly inhibited lmfao. but venus in 10th also tends to be seen as highly attractive by others, in looks and personality, which i think is a) true because sohma and b) fucking hilarious because he gets his own little fanclub from the. middle school girl gang or w/e. god.

and then yes, the saturn-pluto conjunction in 7th. saturn: similar to tohru in struggling to let people into his life in full, and not believing he’s worthy of that love as he is (esp regarding kazuma and tohru). pluto: similar again to tohru in that he experiences something highly transformative in his person once he actually accepts the love of other people, and allows himself to be transformed by love. it asks him to let go of his self-hatred, which in turn asks him to let go of a lot of other things that held him back from growth. and he comes out the other side of that experience with a hell of a lot more self-confidence. the fact that he and tohru are these transformative experiences for each other.... fucking poetry. yeah.

north node note: north node is in cancer in the 3rd house; for him, it’s asking him to move away from being defined only by achievement, mommy issues, competition, & complexes around inferiority, and embrace being more emotionally sensitive and inclusive of others and the self, and especially being able to find comfort within the self. north node in the 3rd asks for a journey of being able to express the self in a way where the thoughts are purely individual, rather than coming from certain shared ideologies or other higher influences. this i feel is especially poignant for him as he struggles to really move on from certain beliefs planted in him by his family situation -- beliefs that he’s inherently worthless, that yuki is to blame for his struggles (due to zodiac lore) rather than seeing the situation for what it is (abuse from akito and his father), that his future is set in stone because it’s family tradition. the north node here sits opposite the sun, which is indicative of a struggle between a distinct drive towards personal development and an inclination to stick to what was learned in childhood; a battle against the ego for personal development. north node trine saturn is i think indicative of being self-accountable and having a lot of determination, and tending towards a mature outlook on things. square moon is indicative that this personal growth journey is especially spurred on and nurtured by significant relationships with women, though they tend to be challenging........ yeah..........

MOVING ON..............

shigure

scorpio sun, scorpio moon, taurus rising; sagittarius mercury, libra venus, libra mars.

shigure just exudes fuckboy venusian energy, and that is on that.

taurus rising colors the chart in a way that brings focus on self-reliability, prioritizing personal wants & comforts, and in general not being rushed or bothered unless it’s on their own terms. for all his slipperiness, shigure’s actually pretty lax and slow-going, and looks at the world in a way where he first and foremost considers what is useful to him, in the moment. self-indulgence king. there’s also a considerable focus on loyalty and honesty. under this is the influence of the chart ruler, libra venus; taurus alone tends towards being more reserved (which, shigure really doesn’t seem to mind just chilling by himself in the middle of the woods tbqh), but libra tends to get agitated when they’re alone for too long -- as an air sign, they thrive in the realm of mentality, and libra in particular thrives in this arena when it comes to social connections. they’re simultaneously flighty and committed; libra venus perfects the art of being huge romantics while also coming across as emotionally detached.

but ofc shigure does have a considerable amount of passion when it comes to his love life, more than erring on the side of possessiveness, and that comes in with the double scorpio sun/moon in 7th, as well as venus conjunct pluto (pluto bears an intense, transformative energy; it kind of sits there like “i refuse to make anything easy, or take anything easily” lmfao). 7th house is all about long-term partnership, as well as considers the energy you’re drawn to (and simultaneously have issues with seeing in yourself, since it sits opposite the rising). scorpio on the descendant tends towards being selective towards people, and while shigure is pretty sociable, he only has a handful of truly close relationships, all of which have been long-standing since he was a child. sun & moon being conjunct one another indicates a conscious expression of emotion (rather than, if the moon were unaspected, emotions can be more free-falling and come and go unconsciously/subconsciously). shigure tends to be deliberate in how he shows himself and what he expresses, and taking scorpio into consideration, there’s a considerable intuitiveness he has that he uses specifically to dig into people’s observed sensitivities (sagittarius mercury in 8th also affects this; 8th house handles matters including other people’s psychology, and sagittarius mercury can tend towards being rather open-faced and blunt about what they think and say).

when it comes to akito, though, there is that push and pull of “belonging” to her, and also pulling away from her -- moon in 7th does find emotional stability in being someone’s person, and sun in 7th also finds a base importance in being part of a partnership, romantic or otherwise; but that pulling back can be attributed to a mix of taurus’ mode of self-reliance and at times cold detachment, libra’s general emotional detachment, and also scorpio moon’s tendency towards vindictiveness (or otherwise a high emotional response) when it’s hurt. paired with a libra mars, which can be a majorly provoking force in terms of shit-stirring, there ends up being this concoction of “i’m hurt, i’m going to hurt you back in a way that makes you feel exactly how hurt i am, and i’m also going to avoid saying things outright because i want you to figure out why i did it” (sagittarius mercury and its tendency towards “i’ll say and think what i want and if other people can’t keep up, that’s not entirely my problem” plays into that as well). shigure doesn’t come off as a sensitive sort, but it’s more that he both manages to keep his hurt rather private, and also genuinely only gets bothered when it comes to his most important relationship. libra’s “eye for an eye” and matters of balance really especially come into play for him in terms of him feeling hurt by akito -- like. he literally fucked ren in revenge for akito sleeping with kureno lmao. that’s beyond being hurt, that’s a perceived betrayal. scorpio antics. libra mars conjunct uranus also is big “suddenly, i have decided that i will cause problems on purpose" eye-for-an-eye energy.

beyond his penchant for. revenge fucking. he’s also notably charming and funny! the charm is itself the overall venusian energy between taurus and libra, but it’s also found with that venus square jupiter -- squares are typically energies in conflict with one another, but venus and jupiter are both benefic planets; the worst that this square brings really is that they can tend to be lazy and unmotivated, and that people might think they have loose morals lmfao. and considering this square occurs with the 6th and 9th houses, it’s a marked laziness with daily routines and things concerning travel, higher learning, and publishing. long-suffering mitsuru and tohru kind of deal with the brunt of this. jupiter in 9th in general also grants some good fortune regarding travel/higher learning/publishing/the like, which i just think is like. a funny little thing considering he’s an achieved author at 25 under multiple pseudonyms. also the libra influence on that in that he’s a romance writer, mercury conjunct neptune heavily influencing creative thought, and the saturn in 2nd indicating a more serious motivation when it comes to career (+ the saturn trine mars in 6th giving him like, actual dedication in the realm of his career and his success -- mars in 6th is more about the determination to do things well, especially in terms of daily tasks).... yeah! like he does what he wants but he’s also obviously dedicated to his craft lmao.

i guess another thing to mention is all this 6th house energy -- 6th house handles personal health, daily routines, service given to others within the physical world. which with shigure, it’s very much a part of his character that he’s kind of trash at keeping physical care of himself (shit eating habits, absolutely fucked up sleeping schedule), and that he veers pretty heavily on the side of being self-serving. uranus, pluto, and mars don’t bode very well in this house. they just don’t like it -- uranus either figures out ways to adapt or detaches from these chores entirely, mars can be an energizing source here with the right willpower (such as regarding his job, though writing is in itself a self-serving profession), but would rather be served than serve others, and pluto can tend towards harboring power struggles with others because they want to do things on their terms only. venus is really the only one sitting in this house having a good time, if only that venus brings pleasure wherever it goes -- for shigure, that’s maximized in making sure he’s able to do things his way so that there’s as little struggle as possible. he’s content letting his house and habits go to hell, and he’s just as content with shunting off the housework to someone else. he just can’t be bothered to do things he doesn’t want to. (also, again, venus square jupiter. the laziness but also the charm that has people put up with him without much fight or consequence.) i will say though that he does provide a physical service by housing three literal teenagers, but ofc there’s an undercurrent of an ulterior motive in doing so. so.

and then mars conjunct uranus + sag mercury is just big fucking clown energy.

some north node notes: his north node sits opposite the kids’, which i think is an interesting little thing. north node in capricorn is indicative of needing to move away from codependency, an overindulgence in self-soothing/self-care, and passivity, and asks to move towards being a more proactive presence, someone who leads, and someone who empowers people rather than enables them. so. i think in general this is interesting to coincide with his character arc, in the sense that he doesn’t exactly have one lmao? he’s very much a stable force throughout the story; he doesn’t really undergo any massive personal changes like a lot of the other characters do. he’s a character who is very much comfortable admitting that he does things for himself, and that he is shown time and again that, for all of his self-serving nature, he’s still very much committed to this relationship with akito that he’s harbored since he was a literal child, no matter how volatile and skewed it became as they got older. i think the one matter of the north node that he actually fulfills is being someone who tends to challenge other characters’ personal viewpoints and asks them (though indirectly) to consider changing how they think in order to facilitate their growth. but, he’s not exactly a proactive force here; he nudges, but he doesn’t fight.

north node in 9th also takes this into consideration, as it asks to expand outside of what is already known, to learn and grow outside of where they grew up, and to be able to teach from that learned wisdom. which, again, isn’t fully realized in him, as he chooses to dedicate himself to akito and in turn return to living within the sohma estate, which also includes him giving up his job as a novelist..... in its way it’s sort of like expanding these horizons vicariously through akito, who is literally taking her first step into being anything like a normal functioning human being outside of the curse. idk about that. but he does think outside of the curse’s constraints and looks beyond it, rather than feeling particularly held back by it, and in that sense is able to offer some wisdom and nudge other people towards the thought of freedom. it’s a mixed bag.

(i’ll slap a link here when i make a new post for yuki, kakeru, and machi’s reads!)

#fruits basket #tohru honda #kyo sohma #shigure sohma #this is the true testament for just doing things purely for yourself. holy shit.#i literally made this post for me and like five other people #anyways sorry if this is like. incomprehensible. i had a lot 2 say apparently.#i'll try to get the disaster trio's shit done within the next few days lmfao but in the meantime..... just take this #Anonymous #yunsoh astrology #fruits basket spoilers

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doctorgerth · 5 years

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Hey my lovely? 💚 Can I ask for a headcanon with Zoro, Kid and Crocodile reacting to their female s/o asking for a break because they are afraid of their feelings for them? Angst and NSFW, if you want 😌 but also some fluff! The big best cocktail! Love youuuuu ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

MIHOOOOO my sweet lil mouse! Thank you for this lovely request and I’m so so so sorry it took so long to get this out to you. I am a SUCKER for angst aghhh especially angst for characters who are usually so calm and cool like these boys! I hope I wrote this to your liking honey 😌❤️

HCs: Fem S/O Wanting to Take a Break (Zoro, Kid, Crocodile)

(warning: light ns.fw content mixed in, typically at the end of the HCs list)

(( under the cut as it’s kinda long! ))

Zoro

“I can’t do this without you.”

- Zoro is a man of very few expressions, and it’s always hard to figure out just what he is thinking most of the time; his brows seem to be permanently furrowed, and paired with that infamous scowl of his, it’s taken you quite some time to figure him out

- but, when you approach him with a sad look, he’s instantly alert to what you have to say as he’s been your biggest comfort throughout the relationship; Zoro was tough and cold at times, but whenever you needed him he was always there to get you through anything (we all know Zoro is secretly a big ol teddy bear)

- needless to say, he wasn’t expecting that his girlfriend all of a sudden wanted to take a break, especially after assuming everything was perfectly fine, if not great between the two of you

- when you tell him that you’ve decided to take a break from the relationship, you see a little shift in his demeanor, as if he’s cracking underneath the surface

- his scowl is pulled up into tight lips, the brows that always hung low above his eyes are raised in shock and disbelief; and still, no words are able to leave him as he just looks at you, searching for any sign of pretense

- the way you look at him, like you’re already beginning to view him as a stranger, it doesn’t sit well with him; it wasn’t easy for him to sacrifice his selfish and cold ways to fall in love with you, but he did it any way because he truly believes you are his person and even though he never says it, Zoro knows full well that he needs you in his life

- and now, you looked at him so coldly, so sadly he could feel his heart shattering in his chest; all the months, years you two worked together to make things happen, it was all for nothing?

- he couldn’t believe it and he refused to believe it; the scowl returned to his face as he turned away from you, his attention turning back to what he was doing beforehand, awaiting your laughter and reassurance that everything was fine

- but everything wasn’t fine as you repeated yourself, reaffirming that you wanted a break from the relationship, a break from him

- his back was to you and you figured Zoro had already begun to shut you out, easily accepting your breakup; so you turned to leave, grabbing at your bags and heading towards the door; that was until a firm hand grasped at your wrist, making you turn around

- you turned around to see Zoro an absolute mess in front of you; the usual stoic and stern swordsman was visibly shaking, lips quivering, and eyes messy pools that leaked down his cheeks

- “I won’t let you walk away like this! Please, don’t leave me. I can’t do this without you.”

- you were taken aback as you had seen your boyfriend cry before, but nothing quite like this; he was begging for you to stay, and though he tried his hardest to remain strong, he couldn’t stop the cracking in his voice as he cried for you; it was truly heartbreaking to see him like this and you couldn’t help but break down in front of him as well

- you attempted to explain how you were so scared of your immense love for him and how a break would help you sort your feelings, but Zoro would hear none of it as in a state of sorrow and desperation, he couldn’t help but cling to you as you cried together in each other’s arms

- his hands were eager as they roamed your body, rougher in contrast to the sadness in his eyes as he kissed your skin tenderly; he undressed you with ease as he littered your bare skin with affections

- “Please, just stay with me. I won’t let you be scared of us again. I love you. I need you. Always. Please let me love you forever.”

- Zoro shamelessly pleaded for you over and over, embracing and loving your body all the while tears still cascaded down his face; you had been so worried, so terrified of loving Zoro too much, and yet Zoro was only terrified of losing you; you were a fool to think this couldn’t work

- it was a long, emotional night as you two got lost in each other, crying while reminding one another just what you loved and cherished in one another through passionate love-making

- it was the first time you had ever seen Zoro so emotional, soft, and vulnerable towards you, and with each loving touch and embrace, Zoro showed just what you meant to him and vowed to show you how much he loved you every day so you could see how he was just as crazy for you; there would be no more questioning, no more fears as he promised to love and protect your forever if you’d have him

Kid

“What did I do wrong?”

- the moment you come to him and say that you want to take a break, Kid is fuming, instantly argumentative

- all walls that he had spent breaking down for you are slowly beginning to build back up and he is pissed about it; he loves you and he doesn’t want to shut you out; he doesn’t say it enough but he never wants to lose you!

- why in the hell would you want to go on a break? he’s made himself vulnerable towards you, spent so many days and nights doing whatever it takes to keep you happy! you make him happy! since when was he not doing the same for you?

- is he not enough? is there someone else? do you not love him anymore?

- so many questions are rambling through his head that he can’t even think straight; he wants to kick and scream and hit something because he’s so upset right now; he hates not feeling in control of himself and at this moment he is collapsing right in front of you

- Kid is a very sensitive person, highly insecure though he tries his best not to show it; but the moment you try to end it with him, he can’t help but break down

- he yells at first, spitting false accusations, spilling guilt trips, blaming everything and everyone under the sun; nothing is making sense anymore but god the thought of losing you just makes him go crazy!

- then come the tears when he sees you not budging; he’s still screaming, not at you but more so at the situation, but the tears are evident as they roll down his pale face

- his body is shaking, and he’s near the point of emotional exhaustion after having that outburst; he’s still so mad, eyes clouded with agony, but he just wants to know why

- once the thunderstorm is over, Kid just reaches out to you, grasping for your touch, a reassurance that this is all just a horrible nightmare

- “Please, don’t do this to me. I need you. I really need you. Is this what you want to hear? What do I need to tell you to make things okay? I fucking love you! Is that not enough? What did I do wrong?”

- when you tell him your fears, the fact that you love him so much that it’s terrifying, and how you think a break would be best so you can sort your feelings…Kid doesn’t take that, and you should have expected as much from this stubborn man

- he rushes to you instantly, yanking your body close to his, and settling you down on the nearest surface; his stained lips are on yours, sloppy and desperate, his flesh hand roaming your entire body; he grabs your face to make you look at him

- “Like hell I’m just gonna let you go so easily. Don’t say stupid shit like that. I love you and you love me. Isn’t that all we need?”

- in heated passions, he undresses you fairly quickly, ripping and discarding your clothing without second thought as you let him; he needs to feel you, touch you, he needs to show you what you mean to him so you can forget your petty insecurities

- Kid has never been good with his words, he knows that, you know that, so he makes sure to show you with his actions by making sweet, passionate, intense love to you, reminding you over and over again how much you mean to him with every loving thrust

- there’s no room left for questioning as he holds you close and rocks into your body with a tenderness only you get to experience from him; Kid’s not a sappy guy but he would be anything for you, so he doesn’t hold back in whispering sweet nothings in your ear, reaffirming his feelings for you, begging to hear you say you love him back

- he needs to hear you say it; he’s too emotional to go without hearing you confirm that you do in fact love him and that you won’t ever leave his side; please just say it

- when all is said and done, he won’t allow you to be so insecure any more; he makes it a point to say/show how much he loves you just a little more every day so there’s no more questions

- he needs you after all; you’re supposed to be by his side when he becomes the Pirate King; no King is going to let his Queen escape so easily!

Crocodile

“You don’t mean that. Tell me you don’t mean it.”

- very disbelieving at first and is not amused if this is some sick joke; he can’t believe what he’s hearing and you can read it all over his face

- when you express to him that it’s not a joke, and you wish to have some distance from him….he can’t help but break down that calm and collected facade of his

- his voice unintentionally raises at this notion, he’s not quite yelling yet, but it’s obvious that what you’re saying has heavily upset him as his brows are furrowed and the scowl on his face has only sunken deeper

- Crocodile is an independent man and has little to no need of other people in his life except as pawns in his plans; but you, you’re the exception to all of it

- he’s given himself to you wholly, unconditionally, with no regrets; he’s chosen to make a life with you as his partner and he chooses to love you and only you every day

- and now all of a sudden you just want to throw it all away? he can’t let that happen, he won’t let that happen

- when you explain to him how insecure you’ve been feeling, how scared you are of your feelings for him, his heart drops into his stomach and his body begins to shake visibly

- when you tell him you want to leave for a bit to sort things out, he can’t help but bite his cigar in half, digging his nails into his thighs

- “You don’t mean that. Tell me you don’t mean it. Come here.”

- even in the midst of your breakdown, you still find yourself obliging to your lover as you approach him, a part of you wanting to touch him one last time before you leave

- “You’re scared because of how much you love me? Don’t you think I was terrified to fall in love with you too? And still, I choose you, only you, every single day, and I’ll choose only you for the rest of my life. I’m not going to allow you to throw this away, (Name). I love you, so much. And I know you love me. Let’s not waste that.”

- Crocodile pulls you into his lap to embrace you and soothe your insecurities; his big arms wrap around you without hesitation, his flesh hand petting at your hair

- he lets you cry into his shoulder though his heart is racing, awaiting you to tell him that you’ve changed your mind and that you won’t be leaving him; the wait to hear you say you love him is agonizing

- the moment you pull away to apologize, he responds rather quickly with connecting his lips to yours; it felt like years before you said anything so he wasn’t going to waste a second longer

- his lips are passionate and his thumb wipes at the tears that flow freely down your cheeks; he leaves kisses all along your face and neck, gentle affections that form as apologies for letting you worry so much

- Crocodile wastes no time in making love to you in his office chair, praises and endearments spilling from his mouth as he controls your movements and makes love to your body, making you feel like a truly loved and cherished woman

- he can’t help himself from getting just as emotional when you relocate to your shared bedroom, continuing your love-making session in your most sacred place; he chokes up a bit as he looks into your eyes and tries to imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t stopped you from leaving

- though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, Crocodile knew he was a better man because of you; no part of him wants to return to the lonely shell of a man he was before you came along

- and so, he made sure to never take your love for granted from here on out; insecurities come and go, but the love between you and Crocodile would remain forever

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theharellan · 4 years

Text

Guess who read The Dread Wolf Take You!

The Assassin’s Tale:

Three agents. First elf is Dalish, second a city elf, third an ancient elf, which is a good demonstration of the diversity of elven experience among the ranks. I’ll be making another post about Solas’ resources and reach later, likely after I’ve finished reading the other stories, as I know I have comments about some of the other stories where agents are involved.

The Dalish elf says he wants to awaken his gods with the idol, indicating that there’s either differing motives for joining Fen’Harel or he was lying, believing that it would allow him to get what he wants sooner. Both are honestly believable possibilities.

Solas (and his agents, whose ranks also likely include other Dreamers) can kill people in their sleep, even dwarves. This isn’t new information, we’ve known it since Feynriel in DA2, although I am surprised dwarves aren’t immune. I wonder if it would work on Surface dwarves and not Orzammar’s, as magic resistance is explicitly lessened when dwarves leave Orzammar. I imagine it would at least be harder. Based on the Bard’s comments I think in this particular instance and the importance of securing the idol, Solas himself was involved in the assassinations of the sleepers.

Dreams also seem to be places people get instructions/orders, which would confirm a headcanon of mine.

The Mortalitasi’s Tale:

The red lyrium idol is elven, depicting either “two lovers” or “a god mourning her sacrifice.” I should note again that if Mythal/Solas is ever confirmed as romantic I will be going canon divergent on that, but for now it’s still unclear.

The Tevinter mage uses blood sacrifice to get the idol to do its thing, using slaves. Whatever ritual they were doing was interfering with whatever Solas had been doing at the time.

His behaviour in this story reminds me of something he says to the Inquisitor at the start of the game, the first conversation in Haven: “Posturing is necessary.” I’ve long held the headcanon that a lot of Solas’ weight after he became Fen’Harel was a result of deliberately making himself seem scary, what we get in this is a glimpse of the intimidation tactics I think he’s used since Arlathan.

The Mortalitasi thinks he must have bound spirits/demons to accomplish his attack, but this seems unlikely. Solas has his hypocrisies, but Cole notes in Trespasser “he knows how to speak so spirits listen” re: the sanctuary guardians, and it seems more likely the spirits are aiding him freely.

Again, the binding of spirits continues to play a role in Solas’ anger and frustration in the world-- his problems cannot be addressed just by improving the lots of physical elves.

The Bard’s Tale:

I’m rather doubtful of how much of this is true, I do believe he went to Llomerryn and retrieved the idol and that he now has it. Other than that the story is mostly a lot of name drops or references, with everyone from the Warden to Divine Victoria to Xenon to Tallis being referenced.

He describes Solas as touching the idol reverently, clearly it has personal meaning, although given his reaction to the focus breaking it’s probably nice to not find it’s cracked after some human put their hands on it.

I also believe the Ben-Hassrath didn’t listen to his warning at the end of Trespasser, although tbf the vidassala wasn’t in a position to pass the message on.

Addition: Lisa reminded me that the Bard described the idol, and likely has the most accurate interpretation -- “crowned figure who comforted the other” -- again, like the end of Inquisition. This isn’t the first time Solas has had a sad in Mythal’s arms. Why he needed comforting in the scene depicted here is unclear. It could be anything from Mythal’s impending death, to the Veil, to depicting Solas’ feelings after he took physical form at Mythal’s behest.

General Notes:

More wisps being used for really casual things that really could be done by hand, or potentially even just magic by hand, rather than ordering something else to do it for you. From the description of the Mortalitasi putting it away it seems its in the spoon permanently.

First, some notes about The Bard, headcanons included -- ◦ As others have pointed out, Gauche, the name the party is booked under and his alias, means “awkward,” but it also means “left.” It’s a fitting name both because like “Solas” it’s a feeling/state of being, but also the Anchor was on the left hand (and therefore it’s the hand he removes in Trespasser). ◦ Opal inlays, which were apparently in fashion a few years back according to Vivienne banter. ◦ Resembles a dragon, again leaning on Mythal imagery. ◦ My headcanon that Solas knows Orlesian came true (although I also hc it as being limited in DA:I, I think he would have improved it since then). ◦ His manner and accent were coached by agents, specifically I like to think Adélaïde (found on @ourdawncomes) played a role in that, among others. Miraen (Joly’s OC, found on @ancientimpudence) likely helped with the outfit.

The little tells Charter picks up on kills me, like her noting that his hair toss is clumsy and the lack of tan lines indicating he doesn’t typically wear rings. I guess when you’ve been bald a while you forget how hair works, which as sb who has had a pixie cut for a few years... yeah, it tracks.

He can freeze people without turning them to stone, and can also freeze golems.

Solas literally can’t pretend to like tea so he just doesn’t drink it. Like I think he’s physically incapable of not making The Face.

The second he drops the act he sounds more like as we know him, Charter immediately noting he sounds “tired.” His voice falters, he smiles sadly, and smiles again when Charter points out that he’s hardly one to talk about the Executors being dangerous. Speaking of, he doesn’t like the Executors, and frankly they do seem pretty odd.

What he says to Charter after she asks for her life -- Ar lasa mala -- features in the phrase “ar lasa mala revas” or “you are free/I give you your freedom.” Since “revas” Means freedom, my guess is this just means what he says in Common, “I grant it to you.”

The second thing he does after allowing Charter her life is freeing the spirit/wisp in the stirring stick, a detail for which I owe Mx. Weekes my life.

Charter does more than just see through Solas’ disguise, but the line “perhaps we are not the only ones you lied to” is probably one of the best assessments of Solas’ character in the series. It also indicates that Solas’ motivations for approaching in Trespasser were, in part, a lie-- or rather, I think, not the whole truth. Lines about how he hopes to be proven wrong and his appearance here it reinforces that he has self-sabotaging tendencies for this plan, like he wants to be stopped but won’t, possibly can’t stop, which brings me back to Regret: There might have been a better choice-- a thought it had not been allowed.

His plans may not be as destructive as first assumed, it’s noted Tevinter will likely take the brunt of it, but also he notes “the elves who still remain” may find it better when his work is done. I headcanoned ages ago that Solas doesn’t lie to those he allies with about the consequences of his actions, aka the destruction it’ll cause. He’s honest with the Inquisition and telling them the truth, allowing them to know the truth while lying to those he’s working with would be inviting unnecessary betrayal. Solas saying this to Charter is further evidence that the modern elves working with Solas are well-aware of what’s happening and as a whole not being lied to, although I also wouldn’t be surprised if some joined up with different ideas, as the Dalish elf at the start may have.

That Solas’ next move was the lyrium idol (which is also his? Or Mythal’s) indicates that if there are other foci out there, they can’t be wielded by him. This makes sense given his could explicitly only be wielded by him without killing him, so I imagine if there are others out there they’re specific to that evanuris/whatever mage created them.

That he regrets involving and revealing himself in Trespasser is pretty funny considering Solas showed up here in-person for like. Really minor, personal reasons. Again. Then revealed more of his plans. Again. Did I mention the self-sabotage?

It looks like this Solas was neutral-to-high approval, almost definitely not romanced. “Tell them I’m sorry” is a pretty general message, so for the purposes of roleplay he would say different things to everyone’s Inquisitor.

In conclusion: Solas is a loser but im still trash for him.

#( headcanons )#tevinter nights spoilers #dragon age spoilers #he calls himself Pride ( about )#[ i know i'm missing stuff but this is already so long #so if i think of more stuff i'll update it or something ]#v; i walk the din'anshiral ( trespasser )

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crowned-ladybug · 4 years

Note

(Same anon here) I'm really happy u liked my idea :D I love finding people with the same/similar ideas I have :> also I love your writing and I like the scenario you mentioned about Joseph and Caesar, that could lead to some angst and fluff :0

Hi I am So Sorry that this is so late, I’m not even gonna list the reasons why, I’m just. so sorry.

It’s so nice finding other ppl who enjoy the same hcs I do and getting to Talk About Them!!!

As for the plot idea - part of me wishes I could make this a proper fic but alas, I already have too much on my plate and no time/energy to write most days. It still ran away with me a bit tho so under the read more it goes!

So this is still back on Air Supplena and Caesar and Joseph are just. hanging out. Caesar is trying to Read but emphasis on Trying actually bc he’s been rereading the same damn line for the past two minutes just not comprehending any of it bc Joseph won’t stop messing with his goddamn clackers and Making Noise and it’s Distracting and Annoying and Caesar is getting real fed up with it

(Maybe if he actually Said something in a civil manner then Joseph would’ve stopped doing that and let him read instead of leaving Caesar to fume without saying Anything just expecting things to change on their own but I digress)

So eventually Caesar groans: “Jesus Christ, why do you have to be so Annoying, just Stay Quiet Already,” and he reaches over and yanks the clackers out of Joseph’s hand. “I’m taking these. There.”

And he’d be ready to just go back to reading with the clackers dropped on his lap and Joseph finally Quiet bc for all Caesar cares he can stalk off to sulk elsewhere as long as he’s Quiet about it

Joseph is not quiet about anything

The clackers, as already established, are his stim toy. His favourite at that. He’s had the dang things for a while now and they’re Perfect and he uses them so often that they’ve become His Thing and since he can use them for fighting also he doesn’t have to feel weird about having them on hand all the time

And he’s grown up with almost every adult besides Erina and Speedwagon, as well as a lot of not-adults, telling him that everything he does bc of his ADHD is weird or wrong or stupid. He’s been yelled at to stay still in school so many times and had his stim/fidget toys taken and told off for stimming (and poor volume control, and memory issues, and infodumping, and so many other things that are just Natural to him) and told to just grow up and stop acting so childish and embarrassing and annoying, that everything he ever does to make himself comfortable and happy is actually gross and immature and should be stopped-

And now Caesar just told him the same thing and it hits differently from all the other times he’s called him annoying, and he took his fuckin clackers too and he’s acting like it’s just Okay to Do and-

Joseph sees red.

Caesar has no time to react before they’re both on the floor and all he can do is try to dodge and block Joseph’s fists as he yells at him to give him his fuckin clackers back. And it’s scary beyond just. fighting someone who’s v strong and knows how to punch (bc ofc so does Caesar), it’s scary bc Joseph is v obviously Genuinely Upset?? This isn’t an impromptu wrestling match on the floor over something dumb and petty that they’ll call truce over in just a bit and go back to teasing each other. No, Caesar has somehow Fucked Up even if he doesn’t realise How nor how to Fix It

This all goes down in the span of seconds btw before Joseph like. catches himself and realises what he’s doing, which is. trying to beat his best friend into the carpet for taking his Stupid Childish Toy that he shouldn’t even Have bc what kind of Idiot gets so attached to some dumb Toy and makes Constant Annoying Noises with it. And Caesar is reaching up tentatively to put a hand on his arm to try to placate him or snap him out of it or Something and that’s when Joseph just Bolts

Like. clackers forgotten and everything, he just. utilises his favourite secret technique and runs for it

“It” being his room. He locks the door and sits on the floor next to it for a while trying to catch his breath and collect himself. Eventually he manages to get up and get his scarf to fumble with it to calm himself better bc the scarf is also Important like the clackers are

He’s fucked up Big Time. Now Caesar knows he’s weird no matter how hard he tries to save face, bc even if he doesn’t Say anything, even if he never gets his clackers back (oh god, where are they, did he leave them with Caesar, oh fuck-) his strong reaction to Caesar taking them will Definitely betray to him that Something Is Up. Caesar is a smart guy, Joseph can’t expect him not to catch on to Something being off anyway even if he doesn’t exactly know What bc it’s already enough evidence that Joseph is Weird and Childish in all the ways that are Undesirable

Caesar goes after him bc ofc he does. He wants to figure out how he fucked up and Fix It and also lbr. if this Was something Joseph would want to just be left alone with, Caesar wouldn’t really realise that until he got punched again. So he takes the clackers and goes looking for Joseph (which takes him some time bc he doesn’t Know what’s going on and thus that Joseph would be in his room where he can dig out his favourite scarf or bury himself under a pile of blankets bc that’s Comforting, and as small as the island is, it’s Full of good hiding places)

But he eventually comes up to Joseph’s room and knocks. “Jojo, you in there?”

“Go away.”

“…do you actually mean that?”

And okay that’s unfair bc even buried under three blankets (pressure is Good but his weighted blanket is at home in New York and he is here in positively Not New York) and feeling like the world is overall a v shitty place, he still likes Caesar. Even if he knows that it’s dumb to want comfort from the same person that hurt him in the first place.

And then Caesar adds: “I still have your clackers.”

And it’s not like. blackmail or anything, more like “hey I wanna give these back tho” and that’s what does it bc Joseph wants his clackers back and so he v bitterly decides that if Caesar thinks he’s gross and weird now then Joseph can just punch him and they can go back to hating each other like they had back in Rome

He hates that possibility tho

He allows Caesar in and sits up in his bed while he’s at it so that he can have at least Some dignity left. Caesar sits on the bed with him tho he does keep a larger distance than he usually does and Joseph Really hopes that’s “I don’t wanna freak you out again” kinda distance and not “you’re just gonna punch me for no reason again aren’t you” kinda distance

Before he does anything else, Caesar gives the clackers back and Joseph just. puts them down on the bed on the Caesar-free side of himself bc he’s Very Consciously trying Not to Act Weird

He doesn’t look at Caesar’s face tho bc that’s a lil too much for him rn

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Joseph just shrugs. “It’s fine, it’s…dumb.”

“It’s not dumb if it made you upset.”

And that’s so fuckin sweet and Honest and Caesar sounds like he genuinely feels bad for messing Joseph up so much but also Joseph doesn’t know what to Do with that when Caesar doesn’t even Know what he’s talking about, bc ofc it’s Dumb.

“No, it…it is dumb. Don’t worry about it.”

I’d say Caesar operates like 80% on Pure Spite so if you tell him not to worry about something he Will worry about it just to be an asshole but tbh it’s mostly just bc he loves Joseph in this case

“Can I ask why though?”

Joseph doesn’t expect whatever that is so much that he actually looks at Caesar for a moment. “Why what?”

“Why you got so upset. Or why you think it’s dumb,” and when Joseph doesn’t look convinced he continues. “I mean, we fight all the time, sure, but it’s never Serious…right?”

He genuinely looks Uncertain there for a moment and that’s a Big Fuckin Ouch bc of Course it’s never serious, ever since they took turns punting each other into that fountain in Rome none of their fights have been actually serious. They spar for training and they have joke-fights bc it’s fun to rile each other up and gain bragging rights but it’s never about Hurting and in face of real danger they’d protect each other over themselves in a heartbeat

So Joseph just nods, and Caesar carries on.

“But back there you got. really fucked up over what I did and. I guess I just wanna know Why so I know not to do that again?” and with that even He thinks he’s done but then he adds: “You’re my friend.”

And that’s such a fuckin clumsy way to end it bc he can’t say the rest of it, the “I know this here isn’t about comfort but I want you to be comfortable anyway” and “the world is shit and I don’t wanna be another person who hurt you” and “I love you.” So he just leaves it at that.

Joseph automatically wants to go “that’s easy, don’t take my clackers then, dipshit” but like. 1, Caesar is being v v nice so he Won’t be mean in return and 2, there’s so much more connected to his Weirdness that could set him off the same way besides his clackers being taken. So instead he just really appreciates the sentiment and Caesar in general and decides that it’s all a too big a can of worms for him to wrangle and he’d rather just weather the painful parts as they come

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t get it anyway, it’s fine.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, just no one gets it! Whatever, it’s weird shit.”

“If you think I don’t get it, fine, then explain it to me!”

And Joseph doesn’t know what to fuckin Say to that bc no one besides his family has ever asked him to do that. It was always just being told to put his stim toys away and stop moving too much and oh fuck just shut up already, never Why.

He makes a vague noise bc he forgets how to Words for a moment bc of that, and Caesar takes it as a question.

“Jojo, we’re gearing up to fight a bunch of gods with ancient magic so that we can get two rings of poison out of your body, and you really think I can’t handle ‘weird’? Because I can, thank you very much, and it’s You, so I don’t Care if it’s weird anyway.

(He ignores the huge fuckin implications of that and just keeps talking.)

"So, will you explain so that I can understand?”

And he’s Smiling and how Dare and oh fuck when did Joseph even manage to look at him again. He stares for a lil too long bc What The Fuck before he goes “Okay.”

And Caesar’s smile grows into a grin like he really is just. genuinely happy to understand this part of Joseph and make sure he doesn’t hurt him again, and Joseph braces himself for an awkward conversation with Hopefully a happy ending.

(And Joseph ends up being right bc Caesar doesn’t Understand, he can’t really fully understand.

But he Tries and more importantly he Listens and he Learns and is v adamant about the fact that Joseph isn’t Weird and Wrong when it comes to these things. So he doesn’t take away the clackers again and he finally connects the dots about why Joseph always lets him lean too much of his weight on him even if he risks toppling the two of them over and so he keeps doing it. He learns Joseph’s hyperfixations and how to prod him into talking about them to make him happy or distract him from shitty things, and what it looks like when his RSD kicks in and how to act around it.

Maybe he doesn’t Get It but it’s part of Joseph, and he loves all the other parts of Joseph too. And also tbh he’s a decent fuckin human being, even if he didn’t love Joseph so much he still wouldn’t act like an asshole about this stuff.)

#sorry im so tired and its so late and this is so late too #jjba #headcanons #joseph joestar #caesar zeppeli #Anonymous #ask #adhd joseph

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laurelx868 · 5 years

Text

LucioxPregnant!Mc

I obviously dont know how to use tumblr.

Someone asked me a question and i wrote half of the fucking hc and accidentaly deleted both the thing and the question…

Whoever you were im sorry i hope you find this :)

Ask: Mercedes and Melchior protective over pregnant!Mc during sexy times with Lucio.

Warning: nsfw

Pairing: Lucio x fem!Mc

Genre: romance, lemon, drama

It had been raining for days now. The soon to be-countess was losing her last nerve, the rain, as annoying as it was, was not the only reason for this.

The count was constantly attending meetings of some sort and was unavailable for most of the day. It had been like that since he got his body back. The urge to fix Vesuvia came almost out of nowhere, and while admirable, all things had their limits. Lucio had crossed his own, both with her and with his beloved pets who were forced to find comfort in their new mommy.

It was soon evident that he had no plans to come to bed, once again. Melchior and Mercedes happily accepted the opportunity to lay next to the woman on both sides of her, ensuring that even if he curtised to show his face (which was not likely) he would not go unpunished. He could spend the night in her old room for all she cared. Who in their right mind allowed their dogs to spend more time with his beloved than them? Lucio, obviously.

The count had no idea what awaited behind the closed doors, oblivious to his faults as usual. The door creaked ever so slightly, barely enough for Mercedes to lift her head from the covers. She coldly eyed her daddy before turning her head to the magician, letting it be known that his absence had not been unnoticed.

"Are you serious?" She was awake and he knew it. Her figure stiffened the moment the door opened.

No answer.

"I know you can hear me."

"I heard you." She did not want to look at him. The hormones were making her a living disaster. She would either gauge his eyes out or start wailing, it was given.

"What's all this about then? " He asked warily, noticing how the dogs strategically placed themselves onto the bed, ensuring that no one but them may lie down. "Are you turning them against me as well?"

"You're doing it yourself." Lucio did not like the indifferent tone to her usually sweet voice. Melchior stood awake and refused to hop off the bed, even when his master instructed him to do so.

"They never acted this way before. You're transferring your bad energy to them."

"Fuck you." She sneered just before turning away from him, aggravated by his attacking tone and about to cry.

"Oh, is that it then? You want to fuck? Should have figured." Melchior finally moved enough to offer Lucio a seat. He placed his hand on her head, stroking the hair away from her face. "I want to fuck too." He said matter of fact, not paying attention to the boiling rage inside of the woman.

"You're a pig." She said, knowing damn well that she did want that. He knew it too.

"Sticks and stones baby." She did not speak for a while. She knew why Lucio had been working so hard and while it did seem unfair to be angry with a man who was trying to make his wrongs right, she could not help it. His antagonizing manner and unwillingness to apologize were infuriating.

"May I?" He successfully evaded Melchior and managed to lay down fully, waiting for her to either give into his touch or to tell him to leave.

"I don't know." She finally faced him, deciding to word her worries. "Are you ever going to find time for me? Is it going to be like this forever? I barely see you."

"I am trying to make Vesuvia a better place for you both." He stated a bit more softly, pulling his eyes into her belly and then right back, a hint of regret in his words to which he refused to admit to. "It's what you wanted, right? For me to be better. I am being better."

"I understand, it's just..." She turned back around, resting her head into the pillows whilst pushing her body away from his.

"Nevermind."

"Don't." He said, grabbing her forearm to pull her closer while trying to sound as comforting as possible. He slid the nightgown from her shoulder and placed a butterfly kiss on the burning skin. A kiss that made it all okay. The words that followed made it even better."I miss you too."

He would not apologize, that was never quite his speed. He was sorry though.

"Oh, save it." She said into the pillow, tapping Mercedes on the bum as a sign for the dog to leave the bed. Melchior followed.

The countess started undoing the dress with a soft hand, careful as to not alert the count into what he was in for until the dress was ready to be taken off. She fleetingly looked him into the eye and said: "Touch me."

She said it like he was a dog and she was ordering him to sit. Something in his abdomen twisted and his hands were on her in a heartbeat. Her face was soft and her lips were parted and wet, ready to suck on anything he offered. His golden fingers played with her tongue for a while but left quickly and reappeared somewhere below.

"I can feel how wet you are… Even behind these." He pressed a finger into her clit only to take it back just when her inner voice begged him not to. In truth, her underwear got flooded the moment he noticed how starved her cunt was.

"Then take them off." Once separated from the last item of clothing she spread her legs far from each and reached for his gauntlet. She would not allow him to tease her further and so decided to place his palm over her warmth, inserting his finger into her without allowing him to move a muscle. She started pumping on her own accord, annoyed that she couldn't do it as well as he could . "You do it." A hint of begging was hanging low in the air.

Lucio compiled without hesitation, pushing the long digit in and out in a delicious, vigorously slow manner. His other hand did a similar act inside her mouth while he admired the sight before him.

The dogs got more riled up once they heard her soft yet alarming wails which begged daddy to go in deeper and faster. She begged him to feed her with her cries and started ramming her body into the fingers.

Mercedes whined. They didn't like this, whatever it was, why was mommy crying? Is she hurting?

Melchior's cries soon followed.

Lucio paid them little mind and as gentle as one could, he explored deeper, thrusting his two claws in and out, letting her know what her cunt was in for next. She cried even louder now, trying to undo his pants and shove him inside, but with little success.

Melchior barked. Loudly.

Lucio did not stop.

Mercedes would not have this. Didn't he know how gentle he had to be?! What was he doing??

Only when she bit his pants and started pulling did he notice the uneasiness of the hounds. Mercedes would not allow to be shaken off just like that. She pulled even harder.

"Stop it." Said the woman, the words were directed to Mercedes but the pet paid them no mind. This had to stop.

Melchior joined in as well, pulling Lucio by his other leg.

"Stop it!" She said sternly, trying to push Lucio's fingers deeper inside of her with one hand and to shoo away the dogs with the other. She needed something, anything inside of her that wasn't her own hand.

"Please stop it!" She whined, not wanting Lucio to stop for a second, not even to let the dogs out. The hand had not yet entered her hole all the way when it was ripped out by an angry dog who caught hold of Lucio's sleeve.

Melchior lept on the bed and pulled Lucio by the arm, ensuring that nothing sodomized the baby or the mother.

The countess would soon start to weep real tears of sadness. Her awaiting warmth could wait for only so long and with a demanding gaze she ordered Lucio to lead them out.

This was torture.

The barking grew louder with every movement. The dogs were strong and there was no postponing it. They had to leave.

Thank you for reading, be sure to give me some more prompts about what you want to read, it can be nsfw. Let me know how you like this. I'm sorry about leaving you guys wanting more here but it seemed the right time to stop. The asker did say that Melchior and Mercedes didn't allow Lucio to be too frisky.

Send me some more Lucio prompts guys, they make my day.

#count lucio x mc #lucio the goat #the arcana #count lucio #lucio x mc #The arcana #the arcane mc #lemon #fanfic #headcanon

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pacificwanderer · 5 years

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The thing that makes me sad the most is that I feel like her going back to her newish Jakku outfit shows the state of mind shes going to be in (which I half expected after TLJ), that she's going back to being in denial and lying to herself about her family. I believe it's going to take seeing her parents graves to wake her up finally. I wonder if the reason she told BB-8 to stay away from a certain part of Jakku because (you'll drown in the sand) is because the graves are there, not a sink hole.

Hey Nonnie,

I mean, I think it’ll be more of a “going back to what I was good at” kind of regression, as opposed to going back to believing that her parents are still coming for her.

If I went on a super crazy journey where the fate of the galaxy was, in many ways, in my hands, I’d probably have a hard time with it. Couple that with meeting someone who, in every practical sense, is your soulmate (whether it finishes the series as a romance is irrelevant, they’re connected by a bond that allows them to share their greatest fears – and secret happiness), and then to lose that person when things don’t quite go the way you’d planned? And to be forced with the reality that you weren’t some special person from a special bloodline? It was just you and there were no magical parents out there waiting to save you or love you? That you were alone all along?

O U C H.

I want to cry thinking about it (UGH REY QQ). I’d probably give a big ole fuck you to the galaxy and head back to something that was familiar. My concern is if she goes back to Jakku, is Unkar going to be there? Or is he dead after getting his arm ripped off by Chewie (yeah yeah yeah I’m going to do my best not to HC the fuck of Kylo just running him through, but M A N, I dig it because I am vengeful)? I know that 3PO has been translating the Jedi texts for her, so I wonder how much of that will have an impact on where she’s at during the beginning of the movie?

Losing your parents is one of the hardest things a person can go through, for a multitude of reasons, and to basically lose them twice (once because of abandonment and then a second time when reality hits) is a pretty terrible thing to have to go through. I’m not certain that they’ll spend much time on her parentage because I think it wasn’t meant to be as focused on as it ultimately was. They like people talking (for free) about their IP, so I can understand why they didn’t discourage it, even if the evidence is out there to prove the direction they were going with this story all along.

And, whatever, people can believe whatever they want. It’s just annoying when some claim certain story paths were deliberately circumvented (and then hurl threats and obscenities when they don’t get the story “they were promised) when the simplest explanation (she is NO ONE), was always the truth.

At any rate, that would make me super sad to see her fixate on her parents again, but I expect to at least be a bit sad at the beginning of the movie (BECAUSE THESE KIDS STEP ON MY HEART AND DESTROY IT WITH THEIR LONELINESS). I honestly hope this movie ends so sickeningly happy that I get cavities. Like, fluffy bears having a gd dance party and everyone smiling and happy. Just RAM it down my throat how happy they are lol.

If I want reality (and to be depressed) or grimdark, I know where to go, and I certainly don’t want that in SW. Anyways, cheers, Nonnie! Thanks for the chat!

#epix speculation #epix rumors #epix spoilers #asks and answers #anonymous asks #ask pacificwander #rey's parentage #and hey I'm by no means the only voice and if I'm wrong about anything #that's life lol #I don't get paid for any of this #and my perspective definitely could change once we get some real details from LF #and I am quite certain I'll be wrong about many things #but this is part of the fun for me :)#long post #text

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simplybakugou · 6 years

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Can I get a scenario of the reader is a writer and Katsuki finds out and teases her for it, but is secretly deeper in love with her and Kirishima finds out about it and sets them up. Katsuki then finds out all the romance stories and poems were about him?

A/N: I made this as hcs/scenario only cause requests like these are difficult for me to make it sound fluid and flow easily as a scenario if that makes sense, so I hope you don’t mind! Saying that, I poured my heart and soul into this specific request and I really liked how this turned out. This one personally meant a lot to me. Thanks for requesting and hope you enjoy :)

Pairing: bakugou x female!reader

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 1956

✐posted 07.28.2018✐

Every individual person has a passion. Whether it’s drawing, reading, sports, musical endeavors, there’s something unique that everyone pours their whole heart and soul into. For you, it was writing.

And not the modern typing it up in Google Docs/Microsoft Word I just roasted myself lol, you loved the traditional pen and notebook type of writing.

In the way people had diaries where they stored their thoughts and personal emotions, you had a book where you wrote anything and everything that came to mind. Be it poems or short stories, the minute an idea came to you for writing, you immediately grabbed your book and wrote away to your heart’s content.

Even though your love for your passion was strong, you didn’t dare tell a soul about the notebook’s existence.

But, every writer must have a muse or a driving force that allows them to have that inspiration to want to write. When you got into middle school, that driving force died down. You’d barely opened your book in years, it collecting dust on your shelf. You were simply unimpressed with what you were seeing on a daily basis.

But everything changed once you got into U.A. High. There in the second row all the way towards the window was your newest muse: Katsuki Bakugou.

He was brash, the most aggressive person you’d ever met. But with every moment you spent with him, you became more and more intrigued. He had small flashes of kindness to him before reverting back to his normal self. It made you want to chisel through his thick, stubborn skull and figure out what was it that drove him to want to be number one.

And through watching Bakugou’s ambition, you became engrossed in your muse. Every word that you etched on your paper correlated to him. You couldn’t come to terms with these feelings, simply classifying them as a spark towards the fire that was your writing.

You could have never known what you were feeling. But it was simple: you were utterly, deeply, and hopelessly in love with that idiotic hothead.

On the other hand, Bakugou, despite his abrasiveness, was not your usual angered sixteen-year-old. He was intelligent, driven, and very observant. The minute you walked into class 1-A, he hadn’t paid any attention to you, classifying you as the rest of the extras in the class.

But he observed how kind you were, how gentle you were with everyone, how your eyes lit up at the mention of the things you loved. He noticed it all.

Similarly to you, Bakugou couldn’t come to terms with these feelings. Every moment that he spent with you, he couldn’t understand why you were always on his mind or why you made his heart speed up in a way that was indescribable. Nevertheless, he hated the way you made him feel. He hated that he couldn’t stand to see you frown, the little wrinkle by your brow that turned or how your lips turned downwards when you were upset. He hated how pissed he got when he saw you talking to another guy from class. He hated how often his mind would drift off during class, staring at you all the while. And he hated how vigorously you scribbled down notes when hearing a useful piece of information.

To Bakugou, your effect on him was so difficult for him to comprehend. But it was simple: he was utterly, deeply, and hopelessly in love with the nerdy girl from class.

The incident occurred on a regular afternoon. You had invited Bakugou, Kirishima, Mina, Sero, and Kaminari to your house for a little hang out session. Bakugou claimed he was forced to come due to Kirishima’s persistence, who in reality knew how hopeless his two friends were, but was honestly intrigued by your every move.

Bakugou had excused himself to go to the bathroom while everyone else played a few PlayStation games. He had intended to go to the bathroom, but he couldn’t help himself from peering into your bedroom that was wide open.

Your room was pretty simple, a bed, a chair, a writing table filled with books. But one book in particular caught his attention. It was a simple leather bound book that was closed shut with a knot of a ribbon.

Bakugou grabbed the book, undoing the knot and opened it up. He skipped through the first pages as the dates at the top indicated the work to be done years ago. But as the dates became more recent, Bakugou became more interested.

You had written about a certain airhead who was too stubborn for his own good, too arrogant, and too deplorable for anyone to like. And yet you went on to describe how gentle he could be with a few stubborn actions, how ambitious and driven he was, and how emotional he really was.

It was evident to anyone else who would have read it: you were writing about him.

The thing is… it was evident to anyone but Bakugou. He couldn’t decipher who you were spouting your love for.

Bakugou tried to ignore the fact that you became even more etched into his brain, but he simply couldn’t. This incident didn’t help his lovesickness. If anything, he fell deeper in love with you.

But even so, he refused to acknowledge the feelings he had developed even more. He refused to believe that a normal girl had fazed his ambitions, had made him think more than just himself, and who could make his heart skip just from her laughter. It was preposterous for him.

Unknown to Bakugou’s knowledge, Kirishima, his beloved friend, had noticed Bakugou snooping through your things when wanting to go to the bathroom as well and wondering why it took Bakugou so long.

His initial intention was to tease Bakugou for being so nosy. But he decided not to go through with it due to the emotion written on Bakugou’s face as he begun to read your writing. There was a gentleness to it and a softness as well. Kirishima couldn’t help but sigh.

The hell am I gonna do with these two…

A few weeks went by since the incident, and Bakugou began to notice you writing down on a separate piece of paper when something sparked your passion. You always wrote notes down on a piece of paper before going home and scribbling away in your beloved notebook.

“The fuck are you writing so much about?” Bakugou asked, knowing full well what you were doing.

You froze, this being the first time someone called you out. You rubbed the nape of your neck nervously.

“Mr. Aizawa mentioned something important for our next test and I need every bit of information I can get to pass.”

Bakugou wanted to press the matter further, wanting to know who you were writing about, wanting to tell you how he felt. He wanted to know whether the feelings were mutual or not. But he chose not to bother you, never bringing up the incident again.

Kirishima, watching from the sidelines as always, became more and more irritated with the two of you as each week went by. He had thought Bakugou would have came to his senses and confessed, but the stubborn hothead did no such thing.

Since then, Kirishima took it upon himself to be your matchmaker. He would mention you to Bakugou with every chance he got.

“____ looks nice today, huh, Bakugou?”

Bakugou became disheveled, wondering why his friend would comment such a thing out of the blue. He then assumed Kirishima had feelings for you, making him even more pissed. He scoffed.

“She looks the same every fucking day.”

Kirishima shook his head. His friend was absolutely hopeless.

He then moved on to try and coax you into asking Bakugou out. And well… that didn’t work out either.

“____ what do you think about Bakugou?”

You nearly choked on your breath from Kirishima’s sudden question. You blushed, sweating profusely.

“Well… he’s an alright guy. I mean, I don’t feel that differently about him than I do with all the other guys in this class. Kirishima, the weather’s real nice today, huh?”

It was evident to Kirishima that neither of you were willing to make the first move. So, instead of beating around the bush, he began to be direct. Very direct.

One day while hanging out with just Bakugou in his house, Kirishima confronted him.

“Bakugou, you like ____, right?”

Bakugou’s red irises nearly popped out of their sockets at the statement. He looked at Kirishima with the most bewildered expressions expecting to see him claim that it was a joke. But Kirishima did no such thing, keeping the intense and stern look on his face.

“Tch, the fuck makes you think I have feelings for that shitty girl?”

Kirishima rolled his eyes at his stubbornness.

“Oh, please. No one else probably sees it, but I see the way you look at her and how pissed you get when other guys talk to her. You’re not like that with any of the other girls from class so it’s obvious that you feel something for her.”

Bakugou desperately wanted to tell him that he was wrong, but he couldn’t. He had grown tired of forcing himself to contradict himself.

“So, maybe I feel something for her. That doesn’t mean shit.”

Kirishima scoffed.

“Bullshit. I’ve seen you even snoop around in her room and read whatever she was writing in that leather book. Something ticked inside you after that.”

Bakugou was slightly embarrassed for getting caught, though he’d never admit it.

“I just read about her writing about some guy who she likes from class. She wrote shitloads of poems and shit about that dick all over her book and it fucking made me pissed.”

“You idiot!”

Bakugou looked at Kirishima with utter offense. Kirishima had grown exasperatedly tired of Bakugou’s sheer stupidity.

“She’s obviously writing about you!”

“What?”

“I’m saying that ____ feels the same way about you that you do for her. So, grow some thick skin and ask her out for god’s sake!”

Bakugou was speechless. He had never anticipated that he was the mystery guy you spewed your love for on those pages. And Kirishima had given him a wake up call.

Kirishima sighed.

“All I’m saying is that it’s exhausting to see you two feel the same way about each other and not do anything about it. You gotta be a man and ask her out, man!”

Any other time, Bakugou would’ve practically murdered Kirishima for assuming he could speak to him in such a way, but Bakugou was at such a loss for words that he couldn’t do anything about it.

Regardless, he knew what he had to do.

The next morning, the lunch bell rang and you had gone to eat with Ochako.

“Oi, ____.”

You immediately froze, turning your head to look at Bakugou. You didn’t even know that he knew your name.

“Yeah?”

Bakugou looked away, utterly embarrassed to have to confess in such a stupid way.

“You don’t have a boyfriend, right?”

Every hair on your body stood straight at those words. The sheer thought of Katsuki Bakugou even concerning himself with your love life was absurd.

“No, but why–”

“Good.”

Bakugou turned around, walking slow enough for you to hear his next statement.

“You better be ready at 5 on Saturday. I’m taking you out, you piece of shit.”

You nearly passed out at his words, Ochako having to fan you and give you plenty of water to keep you from fainting.

What came next for the two of you was enough for any romance author to write five volumes worth of romance.

#katsuki bakugō #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #mha bakugou #bnha katsuki #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou #bakugo x reader #kirishima eijirou #bnha kirishima #boku no hero academia #boku no hero imagines #my hero academia #my hero academia imagines

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phantompsychic · 6 years

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Will’S RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: Kusa OOC Contact: IM (or like my starter call and I’ll message you), Discord (on ask/request)

Who the heck is my muse anyway:

Newest member of the Indigo E4. Magician on the side/for funz. Secret phantom thief. Disaster magnet. A fucking nerdlet.

Points of interest:

Appearance: It ain’t Will if he ain’t wearing his mask/dressing like he’s going to a costume party. Pretty tall and fit with a naturally curvy figure. Couldn’t bench press a large stick. Very fair skin that burns easily. The lilac blue color of his eyes can be seen faintly through the whites of his mask upon close inspection.

The First Elite: He’s the first Elite Johtonians/Kantonians face, and is thus the weakest of the 4 + Lance. However, he is also weaker than both the 8th Gym Leaders of the Indigo League (Clair & Green) when they choose to fight at full power. This power discrepancy makes him feel a need to constantly reaffirm (be it to himself or others) his worthiness of being an Elite.

Budding Psychic Master: His skill with Psychic types is enough that he has already been granted the title of Master in his Type, and he already has secretly unlocked a lot of his own brand of destructive Psychic powers. Talented as he is, he still has a long way to go to perfect his skill and lots more potential to realize.

Secret Identities: A runaway whose village was wiped off the map to make room for Johto’s Safari Zone. A phantom thief that uses his psychic powers to steal and expose evidence of corrupt, untouchable criminals. An unknowing descendant of a dead clan of Psychics. And many more. Tl;dr: He is never who he appears to be to most people.

What they’ve been up to recently:

By default, Will is always looking for new ways to further improve both his powers and his Trainer skills. And by night he is trying to find and expose those criminals that have ascended above the law, though that same law is still trying to hunt him down. In his free time, he continues his hobby of treasure hunting and exploring, always excited about the possibility of finding new Pokemon, items, or adventures. Due to his job as an Elite (and the first Elite at that), he doesn’t have nearly as much free time as he used to.

Soon, once his thread with Sabrina is underway, he’ll also take an interest in discovering the secrets of the dead clan he apparently descends from.

Where to find them:

Indigo Plateau: It’s his workplace, so he kinda has to be there most of the time. All Trainers are guaranteed to meet and fight Will, so he gets to meet lots of new people daily. Since he is the one of the E4 that fights the most Trainers, you can also often catch him in the Plateau’s Pokemon Center.

Johto/Kanto: Will can be found anywhere in Johto/Kanto, whether it be on business from the League to take care of some issue or just to explore. He especially loves to explore the Lake of Rage/Mahogany Town area during peak rainy/flood season.

Whirl Islands: Will frequents the depths of Whirl Islands in order to pay respect to its resident Legendary, Lugia. He has never seen the bird himself, but he is able to sense its presence at the bottom of the ocean. He relates to the stories of Lugia’s alienating power and losing its home and literally just wants to give it some kind of company. He doesn’t really do anything while he’s here. He just sits quietly, thinks, stares down at the waterfall, etc.

Literally ANYWHERE: Will, thanks to Xatu, can Teleport anywhere in the world he’s visited, which as a former world traveller is a lot. Anywhere he hasn’t visited, he usually can just Teleport near its general location and walk/fly there. As a naturally curious explorer, he’ll especially gravitate towards mysterious areas (eg Solaceon Ruins) or places that offer new experiences (eg a new Cafe in Kalos or a festival going on in Unova).

Current plans:

I got something set up with fireredrules’ Red with some hijinks regarding one of Will’s little phantom thief operations gone wrong.

I also have something set up with infragments’ Sabrina regarding Will exploring his clan ancestry with her.

And I also have a fun FE AU verse thread going on with tulog’s Caitlin.

And then systematrical’s Gold is having a doodle fight with Will.

I may be forgetting someone so if I am then I’m sorry and I’m not purposely leaving anybody off this!

Desired interactions:

Wishlist is here

In addition to that, I’d say I’m up for misadventure-type threads, threads where he meets new people and maybe is able to help them in some way (or vice versa), and anything exploring the weird or the mythical or the mysterious, etc. Will is very aware that there is a lot of spoopy and inexplicable stuff out there, and outside Ghosts, he’s very curious about it. It also allows for great fun with going wild with hc’s!

In general, he needs more close friends, as in friends who actually know some of his secrets and can help him out with just a thoughtful ear. I’d also love for him to hang out with other League members (any region but especially Johto & Kanto). He also does have his personal issues regarding his perceived inadequacy as an Elite, some personal fears regarding his powers, etc. that I’ve been wanting to rp. Though, those would take more build up.

If you have an idea for something tho, feel free to throw it at me in an OOC ask or IM! Even if we can’t come up with a plot, I’m always game for throwing hc’s around for good fun.

Offered interactions:

Well, as a friendly explorer-type, Will can often be found anywhere that’s needed. So he can always bump into anybody and let whatever whirlwind the other muse is caught up in sweep em both up.

Also, if you feel like making them go on any kind of adventure, supernatural hijinks or no, that’s kind of Will’s thing. He can very easily sweep people up into his OWN shenanigans, which often involve anything from strange ruins to mishaps with his own Psychic powers.

Finally, he does have a vigilante alter ego. He can prove to either be a formidable foe to muses that come up against him, or he can maybe get mixed up with a civilian in some silly mistake he didn’t mean to. It’d really all depend on the muse and what you want. He’s decently flexible.

Current open post/s:

N/A (I suck at opens)

Anything else?:

Can’t think of much else to add rn that isn’t covered in my rules or about, so, yeah. As always, anybody who wishes to interact can like my starter call (which is really more of a plotting call since I can’t write starters without plotting) or IM me!

#[`festivalday`]#[`up my sleeve`]#[`no masks`]#((this looked fun to do))

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diverdowns · 7 years

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narciso anasui - 1 am character analysis

so, anasui — one of my favorite jjba characters, he’s probably somewhere around third or fourth on my list. i’ll do a quick rundown of his background and personality before i go in-depth into some of the arcs he’s in as well as some of his quotes, notably from the heavy weather arc and the made in heaven arc.

(as you might expect, major spoilers for all of part 6.)

i’ve tried to go easy on the headcanons and focus more on actual character analysis / meta stuff, so here we go.

anasui probably has some serious abandonment issues — we see in canon that it’s mentioned anasui had some major issues connecting with other people growing up, and so he developed a stilted sense of empathy + an obsession with dismantling / disassembling things. this presumably carried over to people — perhaps an underlying subconscious desire to understand people’s motivations that he couldn’t read on the surface through social cues that had, until that point, gone over his head. (or maybe he just really liked tinkering. who knows.)

judging at least from his obsession being allowed to grow unrestricted and out of hand as he continued to suffer socially as a result of it, we can probably assume that anasui’s parents probably didn’t care about him too much — at worst, they may have been neglectful or abusive. still, everything abt his parents is just speculation. notably mentioned in canon though: as a child, he disassembled his neighbor’s car, and was institutionalized for six months. being placed in a place like that for that long of a time does shit to you, and it’s def nothing pretty. add likely parental neglect to the equation, and you have abandonment issues just waiting to erupt.

(as a side note, psychologically, this is an obsessive ritual that can be seen in a number of conditions from asperger’s to alzheimer’s, so honestly any kind of mental illness speculation is fair game for anasui, but this isn’t the post for that.)

whatever the case, he seems to assimilate back into society once his awkward phase ended, though his strange upbringing probably left some lifelong habits / scars there, who knows. he doesn’t do anything to warrant serious attention until he’s 21. at this point, he has a (presumably) long-term, monogamous girlfriend — if it’s anything like the way he treated jolyne, we know that anasui is… overbearing, to say the least. in any case, he walks in on his girlfriend cheating on him when he makes a surprise visit to his girlfriend’s house, and murdered both of them, dismembering them so that “they would never come together again.”

it’s never mentioned if anasui was a stand user since birth, so we can assume he either used diver down to do all this disassembling or he was just…really good at taking things (and people) apart, but it’s likely that he’d had diver down from a young age — up until he’s imprisoned, it doesn’t seem like he was doing anything in particular that would’ve caused him to be normally strong enough to kill two grown adults on the spot, without the help of a stand. (then again, anasui’s capable of some pretty fucked up things either way, so this is just my speculation / hc.)

after his imprisonment, he has a full psychiatric analysis and — nobody can find anything technically wrong with him. besides his obsessive ritual and explosive temper, he’s…just a regular guy, albeit somewhat of an asshole. emporio mentions that his original obsession’s cause was never really discovered, as well. the murder of his girlfriend and girlfriend’s lover was highly publicized, his name being spread through news both on tv and in newspapers, so presumably the details of the crime were sufficiently brutal.

anasui shows a stunning lack of regard for most people’s wellbeing — for the most part, he ignores F.F. and offers little help as she fights kenzo and his dragon dream — though jolyne (and by extension, jotaro) is a notable exception. anasui claims to have fallen in love at first sight, attracted to jolyne by her iron will and strong determination to do the right thing and save her father, and expresses a strong desire to marry her. actually, when jolyne’s involved, he has an almost humorous lack of self-preservation — eg. during the green birth arc, when jolyne’s infected with a presumably fatal plant…infection…disease….thing, anasui not only touches the flowers growing across jolyne’s skin (trying to use his stand to destroy them from inside of jolyne’s body, to no avail) but also puts the flowers in his mouth, which while being played for laughs is also ridiculously foolish. (in general, though anasui ricochets heavily from being the comic relief character to being the stoic yet brash character in the main ensemble, mostly after weather’s death) there’s kind of an explanation for his reckless behavior, coming up later.

(keeping all of this in mind, and despite anasui’s willingness to use his stand to protect the main cast to the point of taking fatal blows for them, he is definitely not a good person. i just want to get that out of the way before someone accuses me of being like, an apologist lmao)

ok, so let’s go thru anasui’s main appearances, from his introduction onward.

emporio goes on to mention that “if weather report wasn’t here to keep [anasui] calm, there’s no telling what anasui’d do.” seeing as anasui is imprisoned when he’s 21, as mentioned in his introductory chapter, and he’s 25 when SO takes place, four years have passed since he’s landed in green dolphin street jail. (for reference, his sentence is for 12 years — relatively light for a double homicide, all things considered — so he’s served a third of that.) presumably, he’s known weather report for at least a majority of that time, as they at least have enough of a rapport for weather to keep anasui out of serious trouble. (weather is 39 during the events of SO. weather, for reference, has been in prison for around 20 years, since pucci took his memories from him when he was 16. also, at the beginning of the BR arc, weather has trouble using a sink that anasui with his impressive sink knowledge notes has been around in modern plumbing for at least 20 years. as a quick side note, anasui seems to have a ridiculous knowledge, in general, of a lot of mechanical things in general — during the yo-yo-ma arc, he spouts off the specifications of a random machine gun after just glancing at it.)

at the end of ch 697 we also just see a scene of weather and anasui hanging out in what appears to be some random ass hallway in the male ward of the prison with no guards around, so take that as you will lol. the two have presumably been hanging around each other for a while like this, so that’s interesting, at least.

the BR arc is where i really got into anasui, so let’s go a little in-depth on those chapters. anasui seems to know a whole bunch of random facts about disney world (though he holds a theme park guide in his hands while he spouts a bunch of random disney world facts, he doesn’t seem to look at it / open it until after he finishes talking, which draws out the legendary “where the fuck is mickey” line). he also mentions manhattan and rome, and how he’s been to neither of those places. it’s probably safe to assume that anasui is floridian — but maybe he’s just really passionate about orlando, who knows. he seems pretty passionate about sinks, too. other than that, not much real information is released here besides things like “anasui’s very passionate about mickey” and “weather report is a fan of post-impressionism”

so, on to the Fun Arc. heavy weather. when weather first gets his memories back, the first things he does, in order, are shove a injured person out of a chair, take said chair, and then force water into a doctor’s body to make him into a chair.

anasui, despite being a literal murderer and honestly doing plenty of fucked up things over the course of the series, flips his shit. he’s legitimately horrified, probably less so from what weather’s doing and more so that it’s weather that’s doing it. actually, weather kinda acts like anasui, honestly, so maybe this is also just anasui being a giant hypocrite, but hey. he’s literally described between chapters as having no idea what’s going on and being pretty freaked out — he’s just following weather at this point because he still has no idea where jolyne is.

(im going to note for my own self-satisfaction that despite weather’s whole “you’re only useful to me now cause you can kill me, anasui” line and all that, when pucci grabs anasui during weather’s fight against him, weather visibly reacts and gets worried regardless, so hey, my rarepair)

okay, after weather’s death, anasui makes a mini speech. (arguably, weather’s death is the turning point for anasui to take more of a serious and less of a comedic role.) here’s what he says:

“listen, jolyne. people have called me a ‘murderer.’ the papers have called me that, and i can’t say that i disagree with them. when people asked me if i would sacrifice myself for the sake of my family, i answered ‘no.’ i’d probably answer that way, now. my heart was never moved by them.”

(more evidence to suggest that anasui’s relationship with his family wasn’t necessarily the best.)

“but i know that i’d be willing to risk my life for something that was able to revive me. i used to be dead.”

interjection here: whether he’s talking about his betrayal (when his girlfriend cheated) or maybe just a general feeling of aimlessness towards life in general, this is pretty dark for anasui, actually. it’s one of the only times he even talks abt his crimes, and this is an interesting concept that araki explores a few times with multiple characters. (eg. anasui risks his life to revive himself with “love,” or what he thinks is love, in any case, to follow jolyne. abbacchio does something similar to follow buccellati, in p5. weather “revives himself” for revenge, and johnny in p7 for the hope of walking again.)

prior to giving himself a mission (jolyne), anasui thinks of himself as functionally dead. this also explains, for example, his nonchalance towards risking his own life and wellbeing for the others.

“weather was that way, too. weather came back to life when he left that prison. i can tell. so don’t think too deeply about what happened to him. these past few days, weather was happy. weather was already saved.”

— okay, in my mind, most of this is just shit anasui says to make jolyne and hermes feel better about weather’s sudden death. to an extent, it’s true: weather prior to getting his memories back was enraptured with the world outside the prison, helping innocent people, messing with sinks, reading fairy tales, but that’s not really the truth. after getting his memories back, weather admits to wanting to die, admitting that he took a cruel sense of pleasure in watching heavy weather run its course and telling anasui that in a twisted way, he’s glad anasui’s there so that he’d kill him. weather’s not happy.

(but who knows? in the end, the character that actually knew weather for the longest was anasui — maybe he’s right and that there was something that revived in weather that we didn’t get to see as the readers.)

but what’s interesting is that he doesn’t mention weather’s sudden transformation after getting his memories back, he lets jolyne and hermes carry on the weather they knew in their thoughts, instead of telling them the truth of weather’s personality. on my second read-through, i noticed that (besides pucci, i guess, and versace by proxy) anasui is the only one who sees weather’s true personality.

and maybe, dying for the sake of his goal (ie. weather’s attempted revenge) was close enough to redemption, in anasui’s eyes. if we pick apart weather’s final goals, he’s living only so that he can 1. take revenge on pucci and 2. die. honestly, in a sad, fucked up anasui-logic kind of way, weather dying in his attempt to kill pucci at least fulfills half of those goals, so it’s not a stretch that anasui could shrug and say “close enough i guess.” but imo, he still says what he does mostly to ease jolyne and hermes’ consciences. it’s one of his kinder moments.

in the actual final fight against pucci, anasui’s probably just behind jotaro in terms of fully grasping and understanding pucci’s abilities — and their implications in battle. his final plan is the only one they really have: because diver down is able to phase through and protect all of the others, he will take the first hit from pucci, and at that exact moment jotaro will stop time and presumably ora pucci into oblivion.

it doesn’t work, but the plan had merit and was surprisingly well thought-out, showing quite a few of his personality traits — while he’s angry and headstrong most of the time, he’s relatively good at thinking on his feet and is always quick to come up with plans, especially in battle. now let’s look at his last lines.

“don’t stop [pucci’s blow] before he hits me. do it after…”

while all the other characters pause and stare at him in shock after he says this, he’s relatively calm about it. he knows it’s the only chance they have, regardless of the danger it poses to himself. dying, to anasui, is not the worst that can happen — it’s having to live again with no purpose (which he’s established, atm, as jolyne).

“ever since i got out of prison, i’ve managed to stay alive… if i can just stay alive, keep this trend… then maybe i’ll ask jolyne to marry me. …or, you know, something like that.”

a lot of people do make light of this (and it’s somewhat comedic, for sure) but it’s interesting again to see how much this drives him. before i really get into it, let’s take a look at jolyne’s (infamous) response.

(jolyne:) “anasui… all right, ask me. […] your plan… it still as hope. it’s not darkness that drives you… even if there’s only one path that we can take, if there’s a hint of hope, then that’s the right path.

holy shit do i love this quote. in the end, anasui’s not… redeemed, not really. he’s still a murderer. he still feels no remorse over killing those people. but he’s not evil, either. his motivation is that he wants to live for real: he is driven by hope. and through all the morally grey protagonists of parts 5 on, this is what they all have in common: a hope or dream that gives someone who’d thought themselves dead something to live for. jolyne doesn’t say this because she’s suddenly in love with anasui, or because she wants to marry them, she says it because she’s realizing this — she’s realizing that anasui’s hope, his resolve, might be enough for this plan to work.

actually, in the end, in an ironic twist of fate, he does die for — and by — jolyne’s hand. (hah.) pucci redirects stone free’s punch into anasui’s torso, piercing through his chest and killing him near instantly. rip. and that, in any case, draws an end to this wall of text.

also i think one random fic i read mentioned a throwaway line that anasui apparently had about him having been married once in prison? i dont recall anything like that, but someone else has confirmed it (i’d love to find the source, if anyone has it!)

i’d love to get into the whole thing about his motivation in the first place: why anasui “falls in love” with jolyne and why that matters, as well as possible subconscious motivations for his obsessions/his stand ability but that’s falling solidly into the territory of hc’s, and not so much analysis/meta.

i’ll write it up some other time, maybe, if there’s interest.

#narciso anasui #narciso annasui #jjba #stone ocean #jjba meta #stone ocean spoilers

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doctorgerth · 5 years

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Hey Doc! Here's the thing: ever since I was a child I got the idea implanted in my head that crying equals weakness. I was always ashamed when I cried and thought I didn't derserve any attention or affection for being so "weak" around others. Now as an adult it's still hard for me to let go when I'm sad, I always need a heavy trigger and even then most of the time I suppress it. How would Ace, Law and Kid react to such behaviour from their s/o? Thanks in advance, have a lovely day 😊

Hi, lovely anon! First and foremost, I just want to say I am so happy that you feel comfortable enough to tell me about this struggle. I wish I could hug you and tell you that is normal and healthy to cry! Your crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s you expressing human emotion and it’s a beautiful thing. Never bottle things up, it only leads to explosion, and your loved ones don’t want to see you go through that and you shouldn’t put yourself through that! I hope you continue to grow stronger and braver in your expression of emotions. You deserve all the affection and comfort. If you ever need anything, please never hesitate to message me!

With that being said, I hope you enjoy how your request turned out! x

HCs Ace, Law, Kid with Suppressible S/O (Angst)

Ace

“It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.”

- Ace is one to suppress sadness as well, so he can relate to your ordeal. But, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t break his heart. He feels completely safe to be emotionally vulnerable around you, why don’t you feel the same way?

- He always wants to be there to comfort you when you’re sad, but he never sees that side of you. You’ve seen him break down and cry a few times, why hasn’t he seen you do that? You two have gone through a lot of shit together. A lot of deaths, fights, and just emotionally draining events, but he has never once seen a single tear from you. Why?

- He ponders on this for far too long, becoming increasingly sad watching you interact happily with others. What if you’ve just been masking your sadness all this time, like him? What if you suffer from the same existential anxiety that he does? Watching you for so long really helps him to learn about himself and his own emotions.

- It’s very subtle, but Ace knows the look better than anyone. He notices when your smile slowly drops and your eyes just deadpan, like you’re subconsciously going somewhere else, like you want to be anywhere but here. He can see the anxiousness from you as you look around scanning at all the people around you. This is when you typically see if anyone is paying attention to you desperately seeking solace in solitude. He’ll look away quickly, pretending as if he doesn’t know what your next plan is. You’ll sneak away to lock yourself in your room. Ace shamelessly follows and will just stand outside your door, waiting. Sometimes, he’ll put an ear to the door, hoping to hear something, anything.

- All you ever offer is silence though, and Ace simply can’t stand it. He knows you’re crying in there. Why are you holding back? There comes a day when he decides enough is enough, he is going to help you. So when you’re locked in your room one day, you hear a light knock on the door.

- Ace simply responds with walking in, closing the door behind him, and taking you into his arms, offering the utmost comforting and loving embraces. He’s spent months trying to figure out just what to say to you, just how to make you feel safe with him, “I know you’ve been hiding your sadness. And we both know I’m the world’s worst about doing that too, but god, I can’t stand seeing you do it. I just want to tell you, and I guess myself, it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. No one here expects you to be strong all the time, especially me. Whatever is making you feel so sad, we can overcome it, together. Just let go, I’m here.”

- When you explain to him your past and your personal views on crying, he can’t help but break down right there. You remind him so much of him and it absolutely kills him. He tells you over and over again how strong you are and how he’ll make sure you never feel so helpless ever again. You spend the rest of the night just crying and being vulnerable together. Ace will continue to give you your space when desired, but he always offers you his shoulder when you just need to cry.

Law

“You don’t have to hide anything around me.”

- Law is the king of suppression. Like Ace and you, he definitely prefers to hide his sadness. Law doesn’t like to look weak in front of enemies and potential threats, sure, but what gets him most is looking weak and vulnerable in front of his crew. He’s their captain and is meant to protect and fight for them; he can’t look weak even for a second or they’ll stop believing in him. It breaks his heart to see the look of concern and worry from those he loves. He feels safe and emotionally open around his crew, but he can’t stand when they worry about him.

- Which, of course goes the same for you. But he would never expect you to hide your emotions from him. He’s had multiple instances with his crew mates crying to him/around him, but he’s never once had to comfort you. He understands your facial expressions and mannerisms better than anyone else. He can just feel when you’re sad, but he never actually sees it. Which is how you have fooled the crew time and time again, but not him.

- When a particularly tragic event occurs, and he sees not even a single tear roll down your face, he is immediately concerned. He studies you from afar, waiting for you to crack, but you remain as stoic as ever. The only significant difference being the way you avert your eyes when someone meets yours. To anyone, your smile looks genuine, happy, reassuring, but he can see right through that. He can feel the emotional energy draining from you as you walk past him straight to your room.

- He is always respectful of your privacy, but the curiosity of just what you’re doing in there all alone eats away at him every single time. Why can’t you come cry in his office like everyone else? Why don’t you ask him to hold you or to tell you everything will be okay? Is he doing something wrong? Is there a reason you never seek solace in him?

- All he wants to do is talk to you. Just let him in, that’s all he asks. He’s never wanted to console anyone, not even himself, more than he wants to console you. He can feel your pain and how bad you want to release it. Why are you shutting him out?

- Law waits and waits for you to open the door. When you finally do, he merely slides his way in, simply looking over you. Searching for any evidence of crying. You offer him nothing as you always make sure to rid yourself of any trace of weakness before meeting the eyes of your lover and crew again. He reaches for your hand, and the way you retract out of instinct so quickly, he can’t help but ask every question he’s been dying to know the answer to. When you tell him how you feel about crying, and how you don’t deserve to be comforted for being so weak, he simply takes your face in his hands, “Crying doesn’t equal weakness, it just means you’re human. It’s perfectly normal and absolutely healthy to cry when you need to. You’re one of the strongest people I know, because you never have to pretend to be. I might not ever express myself clearly around you, but I never hide anything from you. Therefore, you don’t have to hide anything around me. You can always come to me for comfort. Don’t you ever force yourself to go through things alone again. I’m here, I’m always here.”

- Law makes it a point to check on you, from afar of course, at least once everyday. He’s a little unsettled, scared you might be holding back from him again. But, he’s a patient man, and he’s done what he could do to show you he is your support system. Seeing your genuine smile really made him feel at ease, as he hadn’t seen that true smile in a long time.

Kid

“You’re allowed to feel weak.”

- Kid is the type that when he feels an emotion, he feels it to the extreme. When he is happy, he’s really happy, when he’s angry, he’s really angry, when he’s sad, he’s really sad.

- So learning that you suppress your sadness doesn’t really register to him? He’s an open book, always expressing his emotions freely, no matter the consequence. If a tough guy like Kid, the future Pirate King himself, can openly cry, surely you should feel the same freedom?

- Seeing you lock yourself in your room time and time again after a rough day, a tragedy, a death, whatever, he just assumes you need your space. That’s okay, Kid can respect that. But it’s the way you always walk out of that room after hours of isolation, pretending like everything is okay, as if you were never upset that really worries him.

- Kid can be an observant guy, especially with his partner. He takes notice of your patterns and habits regarding your emotions. He sees you express everything so clearly, so defined, and then he finally realizes he’s never seen you cry. He can’t explain why, but that really bothers him after all the time you have spent together. It’s not that he wants to see you cry, he’s just concerned that you can’t?

- He will of course approach you about this during one of your shut in times. He’ll bust through the door, disregarding your demand for privacy, and when he finally sees those tears on your cheeks, the contortion of your face, the broken, helpless look in your eyes…he breaks down. He pulls you to him, simply out of instinct, trying his best to comfort you; anything to make the tears stop. You scrambling, begging for him to leave you alone and to let you go really upsets him.

- When you tell him about your past, getting the idea implanted in your head that crying equals weakness, he just scoffs at you, but now he finally understands, “You can’t be strong all the time, stupid. You’re allowed to feel weak as long as you have the courage to become stronger, like me! Even in your moments of weakness, you’re still the fierce, courageous woman I fell in love with. No matter how much you cry, that will never change. Now get your ass up and let me hold you, dammit. I’m here to comfort you.”

- Kid is oddly patient with you, realizing it will take time before you can openly cry in front of him. He’s completely content if he’s the only one who ever gets to see you cry. He just knows better than anyone that holding in your emotions makes you explode, and he doesn’t want that to ever happen to you. He truly tries in your relationship (he wouldn’t be wasting his time if he wasn’t dedicated) so making you feel secure in your emotions is a top priority. He’ll cry with you if you ask him to. And he will absolutely obliterate anyone who says anything negative about you crying, crew member or not.

#doctorgerth #doc writes #one piece #hcs #anon #portgas d ace #ace x reader #trafalgar law #law x reader #eustass kid #kid x reader #gn!reader #angst #it's ok to not be ok #you're allowed to feel weak #please reach out!#ily anon #have a lovely night!#hope you enjoyed

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