Tumgik
#instantly knew this had to go on tumblr
splinkoop · 6 months
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freshly clipped from the birthday stream
you're welcome everyone
his hands look MASSIVE I'm gonna kms
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sualne · 2 years
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reached level 15, there was A Surprise.
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suhsweet · 1 month
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whatever you want ⟡ kmg
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wc: 2007 | pair: bf!mingyu x afab!reader | genre: smut (18+, minors go away), established relationship | tags: somnophilia, half-asleep mingyu, kinda sub!mingyu?, reader happily does all the work, unprotected piv, barely a hint of a size kink, mention of reader having longer hair, pet names: baby, angel
summary: when mingyu’s tired, but you’re needy, he lets you use him however you please
author's note: i didn't realise that i started this blog, and this little drabble on mingyu's birthday cause i forgot about it… what a wonderful coincidence lol. happy birthday to my first kpop bias, and my dream husband <3 please enjoy my first piece of writing on tumblr EVER
It must’ve been around three in the morning when you woke. A thin sliver of moonlight peaked through the windows of your shared bedroom with Mingyu. Beside you, your lover slept peacefully. His light breathing, evenly paced, reached your ears. His lashes fluttered lightly as he slept, and his hair was mussed from the tossing and turning he often does to get comfortable.
Your hand gently came up to cup his cheek— light enough to avoid disturbing him, but heavy enough to not tickle him. You ran your thumb over his cheek while your eyes travelled over his features. The mole on his nose, the sharp slope of it, to his jaw, to his soft lips.
You carefully snuggled closer to him, close enough to kiss said mole, and said lips. Being so close to him, with his breathing caressing your face suddenly had you feeling needy for him. He should be awake, kissing you back, and running his fingers through your hair as he slowly rolls you onto your back as he breathily groans your name, and brings his large hands down your body towards your—
Sleep was keeping him from you. And you, with your wild imagination, now feeling extra needy, couldn’t possibly wait until morning.
You and Mingyu, little freaks, had spoken about fantasies and kinks once you were well into your relationship. Somnophilia was one of his, and you knew he was happy to have you touch him while he was asleep. He said, and I quote, “That is the hottest thing I can ever imagine you doing to me.”
So, with the sheets pushed off of you, and you now upright, you bent down to kiss your boyfriend’s cheek while adjusting him onto his back. The mix of Mingyu’s bodywash and cologne clouded your senses and you found yourself draping a leg on either side of him. He was wearing his ridiculously hypnotizing grey sweatpants again, alongside his oversized white t-shirt that hid the toned body underneath.
For a few moments, your quiet breaths and whimpers filled the air. You felt a hand slide up to cup your ass, which was busy grinding on his cock. The friction of your core pressed against him was both easing and heightening your desire for him.
“Baby?” Mingyu’s words came out as a husky whisper.
You smiled softly, “Gyuu.”
You were a siren, Mingyu decided—a succubus. The way you had whispered one word— his name, with so much sensuality had him aching for you instantly. But a glance at the clock told him that he would have to be up in less than four hours for work. He wasn’t in the right mind to please you; he hadn’t been awake for long enough.
Mingyu’s eyes closed once more, both from pleasure and sleep. You began kissing his neck again, then slowly trailed them up towards his sharp jaw, to his smooth cheek, to reach those lips… A throaty groan came out of him, and he lazily reciprocated your kisses. His hand came to cup your cheek and he slowly pulled away. His words came out slurred. “Gotta get up for work in a few hours.”
You rose and planted your hand on his chest, you hadn’t stopped grinding against him. You added more pressure on the point where your bodies met. Mingyu watched you helplessly, groaning with pleasure.
You smiled sweetly, a gleam in your eye that had Mingyu’s cock twitching. “I’ll be quick. I need you.”
“‘M too tired, baby.”
That was a no, and you immediately stopped. The fog in your mind cleared slightly, and you realized how selfish you were to put your lust over his rest. Thank God for the night’s shadows that veiled your flushed face. You smiled, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry,” you kissed his cheek gently. “I was-”
His hand was on the back of your head, stopping you from pulling away. Mingyu’s head turned to meet your lips once more. “I didn’t mean that you should stop. You’ll need to do all the work.”
“Are you sure?”
With his eyes on you, you recognized the lust hidden behind the sleep in his eyes. They were still half-lidded and would remain that way while you smiled at each other. He looked so dopey that you couldn’t hide your giggle. You had your answer.
He smiled at the sound and sleepily kissed your jaw. “Do whatever you want with me, baby. I’m all yours.”
Giddy, and buzzing from the idea of using Mingyu like a toy, you resumed kissing his neck and reached your hands under his shirt to feel his warm skin. His eyes, still half open, watched as you lowered yourself to the foot of your bed to face his arousal. You palmed it through the fabric of his pants, eyeing his reaction. He smiled softly, encouraging you.
Pushing down his sweatpants and boxers, his erection rose to greet you. You kept your gaze on him, to watch his face scrunch up with want as you slapped it against your tongue. He hissed as you filled your mouth with him, running your tongue against the texture of the head and veins. As began to bob your head up and down, making the filthiest sounds, Mingyu moaned even louder.
Yes, a succubus indeed. Mingyu watched in fascination as you pleasured him. The sight of you and your siren-like eyes was more than enough to make him explode. He flopped an arm across his face. In his head, he tried his best to recount the entire roster of players of his favorite baseball team—anything to distract himself from the angel between his legs.
“Are you falling asleep on me, Gyu?” Your voice was the definition of innocence. You were well aware of his little trick to lasting longer. Your right hand remained on his length, stroking it with your saliva glistening in between your fingers. The slick, wet sounds filled the room.
“Never,” was his response. His arm stayed over his eyes. “Want to be inside you.”
You weren’t one to deny him. Your right hand kept stroking him as you rose on to your knees and pulled down your panties. Mingyu, now watching you once more, tugged at the shirt you wore. His shirt. The perks of having a giant as a boyfriend: oversized sleep shirts. You looked at him, and he blinked at you drowsily. His fingers ceaselessly tugged at the shirt, and you gave in, taking off the shirt in one swift go.
“Finally.” Mingyu immediately let out a deep breath at the sight of you. His hands lazily traced the sides of your body, ending up the swell of your breasts. “My baby’s so sexy.”
You preened at his words. Back to straddling him, his cock still in your hand, you began to lower yourself onto him. Mingyu dragged out a long groan as you lowered yourself to the base of his cock at an achingly slow pace. You swirled your hips, enjoying the sensation of him literally stirring your insides.
Fatigue had Mingyu’s arms fall back to his sides, and he watched you with bleary eyes. If he wasn’t careful, he would’ve drooled. Every stroke you made on his cock had him panting audibly. “Yes, baby. Use me. Use me.”
The words caused a hot flush of desire to run through your body, top to bottom. You pushed the hem of Mingyu’s shirt upwards to reveal his toned stomach and ran your fingers over every ridge, the sensation making him shiver.
“So deep Gyu, so full,” you whimpered. 
“I told you that this is the hottest thing ever.” Mingyu looked up at you with a toothy grin. “Waking up to the most gorgeous girl in the world, so needy for me that she uses me when I’m sleeping… You’re making my dreams come true, angel.”
His words spurred you on, and you could feel your incoming climax. You fell onto him and buried your face into the crook of his neck, your favorite place. You almost wanted to cry from the pleasure. “I’m so close to coming.”
Mingyu turned his head to kiss your jaw. His hand cradled your head, the fingers carding through your hair. His breath was warm as he groaned right into your ear. Your pussy clenched at the feeling of it. “Please, baby. I want to feel you soak this cock with your pussy. I need you to use me like a toy.”
“My toy,” you mumbled thoughtlessly.
“Yes angel, your toy. All yours.” With your head buried into his neck, you didn’t witness Mingyu’s face scrunching up in pain. His jaw was clenched. He was so close to coming, but he needed you to come first. He wanted to be good for you. “Make that pretty pussy cum with my cock baby. Then I’ll fill you up.”
“Yessss,” you hissed and rode him harder and faster. Your head was spinning, and in your gut that knot that built up with every stroke on Mingyu’s cock started to unravel. You trembled on top of him, and your sweet moans caused Mingyu to start chasing his own release.
He held onto your hips as he planted his feet on the mattress and started thrusting upwards into your heat. Like a madman, he moaned deliriously. They were long, dragged-out raspy groans and pants that matched each thrust. The onslaught of his movements had you moaning desperately, and the sound was music to his ears. Such soft moans that contrasted with the deep bass of his groans.
“Cum with me Mingyu,” you rasped, bouncing on his hips with as much fervor as him.
He nodded like an obedient puppy, so desperate to please you. He pulled you back down towards him to make your foreheads meet. Mingyu loved looking into your eyes, loved being so close that he could melt into you. He loved the way your hair created a curtain around yourselves. It was only the two of you in that moment.
His head tilted back as his lips searched for yours. You met his lips, and allowed your release to take over. Mingyu held your head in place as you moaned into his ear, causing him to tip over the edge with you.
He pistoned himself faster into you as your legs gave out. You heard him babble nonsensical things as his bliss took over. He mumbled something about how much he loved your eyes, and your hair, and how cute you were. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you. His other arm, which was wrapped around your waist, tightened while he gave three final strokes. You felt it, the warmth that filled your core and heard his moans fill the room.
Soon enough the room fell quiet agin, leaving just your heavy breathing. Mingyu looked up at you in wonder. His fingers pushed your hair back to gain a better view of your beautiful, flushed face. “We should do this every night.”
Smiling to yourself at the thought, you cleaned yourself up. Once you returned, Mingyu had already wiped himself down with a tissue, and fixed his clothes. You opened your mouth to say something before noticing the soft snores that came from him. He must’ve been really tired, or you literally sucked the life out of him like an actual succubus.
As you clambered back into bed, and wrapped your body around him like he was a body pillow, you decided you would have to make an extra strong cup of coffee for him in the morning.
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evermore-fashion · 4 months
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Did I make a mistake?
As you're all well aware of I said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr thinking my decision was final. However after reading all your wonderful messages I started to have doubts about my decision. So for the last few weeks I've been trying to pinpoint why I thought I had fallen out of love with high end fashion as well as Tumblr itself and the answer has been in front of my face for the best part of four years. A broken down friendship that has been plaguing my mental health… until recently and I'm going to finally explain why. I had a best friend for the best part of 15 years that went downhill both slowly and unexpectedly. We met on a forum back in 2005 and hit it off instantly. We then met up and went on various holidays, attended concerts together, did mini weekend breaks away and got to know each other's families really well. More importantly they were the only person in my life who knew about this blog and shared my love for high end fashion. Like most friendships though it had its ups and downs but no matter what we always gravitated back towards one another, until March 2020. A week or so before COVID and lockdown took hold of our lives they told me they had met someone. I was genuinely happy for them, except for the fact they had let slip that I was the last person to know. This broke my heart and their trust as they continued to let slip more details that indicated that I was being pushed out in favour of a new crowd (aka university friends who they had told me they disliked a few months beforehand) alongside their new partner. They stayed with their partner on and off throughout COVID and I was either pushed out the door or let back in depending on their relationship status. The relationship came to an end for good towards the end of 2022 and as always I was let back into their life with plans for 2023 being made. However I held back knowing the hurt it would cause me if things suddenly changed again. This was also my breaking point with them as I wanted to protect my heart from anymore hurt, and I believe this is where my love for creativity began to faulter. Whilst I found my love for gaming I felt this mental block around Evermore-Fashion and Evermore-Grimoire which I thought was down to my passions changing. I was clearly wrong. The friendship was up and down for another six months, until last summer. They had got back in contact with me despite the fact they had started acting cold towards me which manifested in a crap Christmas and Birthday. Yet I was still willing to hear their side of the story, but it never came as they ghosted me and I haven't spoken to them since which hasn't been fun to deal with both mentally and emotionally. Although I now fully believe this is what was killing my spirit and everything I had loved for so long. Anyway fast forward to January 2024, I've said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr when lo and behold I come across a social media post that changed everything. The ex friend had written something personal that contradicted everything they had told me (over their relationship break up) which not only angered me but it lit a fire under my butt to stop stewing in the "what ifs?" as well as holding on to a small bit of hope that they'd finally apologise for treating me like a piece of shit on the back of their shoe for so long. Not only that but I started to miss why I enjoyed being online in the first place. I checked out Vogue to see what was occurring during Paris Fashion Week and I yearned to share the Spring 2024 Couture collections on Tumblr (even though I still think it's still a toxic cesspit). Yes I could easily start this up on Wordpress or Instagram but let's face it, Tumblr is still the easiest place to start blogging creatively. So here I am. The fog surrounding my love for fashion has lifted alongside the mental and emotional baggage I've been holding on to for far too long. There's just one thing I'm still wondering though… do you guys forgive me (as I feel like I've messed you all around ) and is it okay to come back? 🥹
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specialgrades · 5 months
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CRiTiCAL HiT ! ⏤ select genshin men and their sensitive spots
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arataki itto, wriothesley, neuvillette
➜ ┊: cw ! porn without plot, monster fucking… kinda, dom!reader, nipple play, premature ejaculation, pet names ( sugar, baby, darling, my love ), reader’s gender not specified but is topping neuvillette ( could be read as a strap or a dick ), hair pulling, neuv is kinda ooc but we're gonna ignore that for now, cumming untouched, not beta read we die like men
notes. whoa hey. i'm kinda popping off recently. anyway this is only three characters cause they're the only ones i'm horny for. if you think i have a particular favourite you're probably right. dividers by cafekitsune as per usual, backbone of tumblr fr!
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ARATAKi iTTO — horns
such a big man reduced to a whimpering mess if you stroke his horns! god forbid you do it while he’s already experiencing other stimuli…
itto’s grunts and groans mixed in with your own moans as his hips snapped against yours. his hair falling in his face as he hung his head, fangs almost piercing his lip with how hard he’s biting it. your hands gripping at the sheets as he makes it his mission to rearrange your guts. one particular thrust has his tip hitting that spot deep inside you directly; a broken scream leaving you as your hands flew up to him for anything to ground yourself with. fingers wrapping around his red oni horns, tugging as he keeps hitting that spot. itto moans loudly, hips stuttering. “sugar, don— oh fuck—!” you tug again, oblivious to his protests until you feel him cum inside of you a lot quicker than usual. his body shakes as he does, whimpers leaving him. he knew his horns were sensitive, but not that much; and god did it feel good. you blink at him, hands still holding onto his horns. “did you jus’... cum from having your horns touched?” you manage, shuttering as he slowly fucks his cum deeper into you. “sensitive— ah-!” he yelps when you tug again. any semblance of dominance he had slipped away as you played with his horns. his cock twitched back to life at record speed, his hips moving on their own. “fuck sugar, don’t stop… tug ‘em harder— jus’ like that, fuck! fuck…” he cums again, crying out as he did.
WRiOTHESLEY — chest
wrio never knew that his chest was that sensitive, he always just ignored that part of his body during his own time. your wandering hands change that…
wriothesley’s kisses were always hungry, sloppy. he doesn’t have much experience, but his eagerness to devour you every time your lips connect isn’t something you’d trade for the world. he helps you tug his tie off and undo his vest, the fabric hanging loosely off of his shoulders. all without breaking the kiss you had pulled him into a few minutes prior. your fingers work on the buttons of his dress shirt while he toys with the hem of your shirt. same fingers pushing under the fabric of his shirt, index fingers brushing against his nipples as you moved. wriothesley surprised himself with the moan that escaped him when they did, freezing up for a second. he feels you smirk against him, fingers brushing over his nipples again. he caught the moan this time— though barely— shaky noises escaping him as his nipples hardened under your touch. his slacks feeling even tighter than they did when you began undressing him. “sensitive, are we?” you ask against his lips. he’s trying to focus and doesn’t respond instantly; causing you to lightly pinch the buds. he whines, body unsure if it wants to push against or pull away from the sensation. “y-yes! don’t—” he breaks the kiss as he tosses his head back, eyes squeezed shut and bottom lip tugged between his teeth. you look down to his pants, part of the light grey turned a darker shade from how much he’s leaking just from your teasing. “let’s see…” you let go of his chest to walk him back against his desk. he had fully intended to fuck you against it not even five minutes ago, but the tables had turned. he felt your gaze on the evident bulge in his pants, wiggling his hips in hopes it’d get you to touch him. you did, but not where he wanted you to. pushing his shirt and vest from his shoulders to fully expose his torso, you went for his chest again. whimpers and moans spilled from him as you toyed with the sensitive skin. a particularly loud moan that caused him to bite his hand to silence himself when your tongue flicked against the left one. he felt the coil in his stomach tighten as your tongue swirled around the bud, your fingers tweaking the one your mouth wasn’t on. he shrugged the rest of his shirt off, hand gripping your shoulder as he thrusted his hips up into nothing. “baby ‘m gonna— please— fuck fuck fuck-!” he gripped you tight as he came untouched, cum soaking his underwear and pants. he shuttered when you gave one last pinch to his nipples, breathing hard when you pulled away. “hm… cute.” you surmise, running your finger along the wet spot of his pants. he pulled away from your touch, sensitivity heightened. you smiled at him, cupping his face gently. “think you got one more in you, baby?”
NEUViLLETTE — ears
it’s law that pointy elf ears are sensitive. argue with a wall. the iudex is no exception…
neuvillette buried his head into the pillows, shaky breaths turning into moans as the sound of skin hitting skin. he felt your lips on his nape and shoulder— licking, biting, sucking the skin there as you fucked into him. his cocks rubbing against the pillow you put under his hips and staining the cotton. pulling away from his shoulder after nursing the bruises you left, your eyes focus on the pointy ears of the iudex. your curiosity got the better of you and before you could stop yourself, your tongue darted out to lick at the shell of his ear. neuvillette shuttered and moaned, hole clenching as pleasure ran through his body. “darling not there plea—” he cut himself off with a moan when the mixture of you hitting his prostate and your tongue running along his ear made his entire body light on fire. “your weak spot, hm?” you muse, your voice rumbling against his skin. he moaned, nodding as he moved his hips to get more friction on his dicks and to fuck back against you. “please…” he mumbles, so close with the mixture of all the stimuli happening at once. “more…” he begs weakly. he doesn’t expect you to give in so easily, but he’s been so good all day you cave; pulling back until just the tip was inside him before harshly snapping your hips against his ass. you lightly bit the tip of his ear as you did, tongue still running along the cartilage. the iudex cried out, arching further into the mattress as he felt the coil begin to snap. “please let me cum darling, please ‘s too much please-!” he cries, trying so hard to hold back from cumming until you give him the green light. “so soon, neuvi? your ears that sensitive?” he nodded, rain hitting the window as you brought him closer to the edge. you hum, breath hot on his ear. “go on, my love…” you lick his ear again. “cum.” he does almost instantly, crying out as he makes a mess of the pillow and his stomach. he collapsed onto the mattress, small shocks going through his body from the intensity of his orgasm. you give him a minute before sitting up, hand wrapping around his hair and horns. with a tug he’s pulled flush to your chest. high pitched yelp left him as you did, feeling your breath against his other ear now. “let’s see where else you’re sensitive, hm?”
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neil-gaiman · 5 months
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Hello Mr Neil Gaiman, I write to say you have ruined me; again. Four times in my life I have been utterly and hopelessly rotted and ruined and consumed by your work. First was when I was 4 and first watched Coraline, I didn't even know who you were and couldn't conceive it either way back then; but I remember watching the movie so much until the disc scratched, and making my mum buy me a coraline doll and lalaloopsy dolls that reminded me of it. Then when I was 12, when season one of good omens came out, and I immediately found out it was a book (WHAT?? IT'S A BOOK?? I NEED TO READ IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-)(I read it), and it was all I could find myself speaking about for months. This year when season 2 came out, I was absolutely heartbroken, and this altered my brain in a way I had never even dreamed possible; everything clicked that the common denominator in making me go insane was *you*, so I followed you on tumblr and everywhere I could and I made it my life's mission to read more of your books. First, as soon as I could, I read The Neil Gaiman Reader in two days and it was SO GOOD (and returned it to the library as soon as I finished), and I knew instantly I had to get The Ocean At The End Of The Lane. Only trouble is, where I live has basically no books, of anyone's, ever, so I searched probably five different bookshops until I found it and I immediately got it. I wasn't allowed to read it till Christmas though. Then Christmas day came, the day I had hyped up in my head for so long, simply because I got to read this book, so in one sitting on Christmas, I read the ocean at the end of the lane. I think I have found a new obsession to occupy my brain. How do you write all of these things? How do you inspire these feelings? I feel like you have a kind of magic to you. I have spent basically the whole day since googling everything I can about this novel (and hoping, wishing and praying that the play will return and come to Western Australia some day), but now I have the VERY URGENT request of answering my questions please please please pretty please. 1) What are some things you wish people knew about The Ocean At The End Of The Lane that they don't know already? 2)What are questions that you want people to ask about it, but haven't yet? 3) Where did you get all of the magic and emotion and EVERYTHING encapsulated those pages? - Yours sincerely, an extremely obsessed high school senior.
Dear E.O.H.S.S.
I'm really happy it had that effect on you. Now we both have to hope that the National Theatre adaptation of The Ocean at the End of the Lane gets revived and makes it to Australia, because most of your questions are sort of answered in the play.
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exhaslo · 7 months
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Kinktober Day 31- Ghost face!Miguel x Shy!Reader
*Requested by the many fans of tumblr. Happy Halloween!*
        Everyone had warned you about moving to Nueva York. The amount of dangerous people in that city were overwhelming. You were going to be eaten alive as your friends and family warned. You thought of yourself better and wanted to prove to them that you could survive. The shy and quiet you, who barely had to courage to say no. It was something you always struggled with, but you hoped that this new job would help you with it.
        You were hired at Alchemax as a lab assistant. You tried to fit in, but everyone was so self centered that you ended up being a loner. Everyone except one person. Miguel O'Hara. He had extended the hand of friendship to you, wanting to make you feel more comfortable around the place. You instantly fell for him. He was so kind to you and understanding. You had just wished that everyone was like him. You had wished you had the courage to ask him out.
"(Y/N), are you okay?" Miguel asked as he tried to grab your attention. You flinched out of your daydream,
"Y-Yeah, sorry. I've been...tired lately."
"I've noticed that you've been taking on other people's work. You need to learn to say no," Miguel told you before typing away on his computer. You could only nod,
"I...know...I've also had trouble sleeping...N-News of that...Ghostface going around killing people has me spooked." Miguel glanced you way, handing you a bottle of water, "T-Thanks."
"You'll be okay, tomorrow's Halloween, that's the last day he goes out. Just stay home, okay?" You let out a small whimper, hesitating. "You are staying home, right?" Miguel asked, stopping his work. Tears almost fell from your eyes,
"I-I got...I was told to join some of the others...a-at a small...work...party," Miguel saw you shaking, "I-I...I couldn't say no..."
"Sí, ¿qué voy a hacer contigo? Mi pobre muñeca inocente. (Aye, what am I to do with you? My poor innocent doll.)" Miguel whispered, knowing that you knew nothing of Spanish. He took you hand, calming you down, "Don't worry, you'll be okay."
        You looked into Miguel's eyes, smiling softly as you calmed down. After wiping your tears away, you thanked him quietly before hurrying off to go back to work. Miguel watched you scurry off. He growled lowly as he walked to his trash. That invitation was in there somewhere. Your coworkers didn't care about you to invite you to some Halloween party. They had other plans, and now Miguel did too. Finding the paper, Miguel's eyes shined brighter than normal.
"Tendré que matar a todos y hacerme el héroe, sólo para ti, mi preciosa querida. (I'll just have to kill everyone and play the hero, just for you my precious darling)"
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        You stood in the corner of the small party, watching all of your coworkers enjoying themselves. You glanced down at your costume, wondering if it was too weird. Everyone else was dressed up in slutty and revealing outfits and here you were, with the costume you thought looked the cutest. You sighed sadly, wondering why you were even here. No one was talking to you. You were just there. Another sigh escaped your lips as you made your way to the upstairs bathroom.
        As you washed up, you heard faint screaming. You gasped and shut the light off, your heart beating faster. Loud thumps echoed from the staircase, causing you to whimper. Tears rolled down your cheeks as the loud thumping stopped right in front of the bathroom door. You hurried into the tub, holding yourself as you shook. This was not how you wanted to die. You cried as the door slammed open,
"BOO!"
"KYAAA!" You screamed, covering your ears. You heard loud laughter and raised your head to your coworkers,
"Ah man! Did you get that on video!?" One of them yelled.
        You stormed out of the bathroom, sobbing past everyone as they laughed at you. You made your way to the backyard since the front entrance was blocked off. You sat on the steps, crying your eyes out. They only invited you to make fun of you since you were so scared of Ghostface. You were just a quiet coworker, what did you do to deserve this? Upon hearing another scream, you whimpered in response. Were they trying to scare you again?
"I'll just stay here for a bit. They have to unblock the door soon," You whispered.
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        Miguel had watched the whole thing. His anger had reached a new boiling point. Fixing his mask, Miguel's grip on his knife tighten as he made his way inside. He was the one who blocked the door. Standing in the corner, Miguel watched you ran outside crying. Perfect. He was going to start with the stragglers downstairs. It was a big house and not too many people. The job needed to get new employees anyway. These guys were just dead weight.
        Miguel approached each person a little louder than he wanted. He was so fueled with anger that he couldn't focus. He just wanted everyone to pay for what they did. After his first kill, Miguel inhaled deeply. The smell of metallic blood filling his nostrils. He was not going to get now. He had taken out his anger during this month. It was the only time he could. Slowly making his way over to his next victim, Miguel resisted a chuckle as he thought of you.
        You were going to be his perfect little wife. Miguel was going to make sure you stay in the dark about his secret. He just wanted to keep you safe. He wanted to keep you protected and loved. When you first arrived at Alchemax, Miguel thought he saw an angel. A shy little angel who entered his life just for him. Miguel had hunted every single asshole who dared tried to flirt with you, or even scared you. Miguel was going to be your dark protector.
"AHHHHHH!" 
        There it was. The first scream of the night and not from a scare, but because of the dead bodies that laid under Miguel. Smiling through the mask, Miguel watched the girl run to warn the others. Ah yes, that was the start. Miguel inhaled deeply, getting enjoyment from true horror. He was going to enjoy his last few kills of the night. It was going to be another year until Miguel could kill again.
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        After calming down, you decided to leave. You rubbed your eyes once more before entering the house. It was quiet aside from the sound of thumping from upstairs. They were probably enjoying themselves. Honestly, you were mad at your cruel coworkers. You stopped at the front door, seeing that it was still blocked. Why were they doing this to you? The couch was far too heavy for you to move on your own. Looking for another way out, you gasped as you stepped in something.
"My shoe," You whimpered, looking at the red puddle.
        Following the puddle, you gasped sharply as you saw one of you coworkers dead. Your heart started to race again as screams came from upstairs. You hurried to the kitchen, wondering if there was a door there and froze as another dead body laid before you. This was bad. Ghostface was here and he was killing everyone. Tears began to roll down your cheeks again as you hurried to find somewhere to escape. Maybe there was a gate in the backyard?
"Please! Don't kill me!" One of your coworkers screamed as another ran down the stairs,
"(Y/N)?! You're still here?!" He yelled and gasped as Ghostface started to walk down the stairs, "Fuck it, I ain't dying here!"
        You yelped as your coworker grabbed you harshly and threw you in front of the staircase. You eyes widen as you nearly froze in fear as Ghostface stood directly before you. You couldn't move. His knife was stained with blood. You shook and closed your eyes, crying as you waited for the worst.
"No! Stay back!"
        You shuddered a gasp as you heard Ghostface leave to your coworker first. Quickly, you found a closet and hid in there until it was safe. You were frighten and scared. Covering your ears, you tried to stay quiet as you waited. Waited for Ghostface to leave.
"(Y/N)? Are you here?" That voice. You knew it all too well.
"M-Miguel! R-Run!" You cried out.
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        Miguel whispered some cusses towards your coworkers as he stabbed him. Now that everyone was dead, it was time for you. He knew that you ran to the living room, but where were you hiding? He stopped to clean his knife in the kitchen sink, washing all the blood off. Once that was done, he attached the knife to his thigh strap under his pants. He then took his mask off, putting it inside one of his cloak pockets that was big enough.
"(Y/N)? Are you here?" He called out, wanting to bring you out of hiding.
"M-Miguel! R-Run!" Those cries weren't meant for you.
"It's okay, I'm here now. I saw Ghostface head upstairs, quickly close your eyes and come out. I'll get you out of here."
        You were such a good girl for him. You crawled out of the closet with your eyes closed, your breathing still heavy. Miguel just smiled towards your shaken form, knowing that you were going to be in his arms in a second. With ease, he picked you up, holding you close. He could feel your heart beat. You were sobbing and holding onto him for dear life. You had no reason to cry now. Miguel was going to take care of you.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here," Miguel whispered as he stroked your head. You just cried into his shoulder,
"M-Miguel, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"You have nothing to apologize for. I'll take good care of you,"
"T-They're all dead. I-I thought...I was next...Miguel...I love you. I love you. I'm sorry, I'm a scaredy cat and shy and nervous...I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner," You kept babbling, crying your heart out since you thought you were going to die.
"Dios mío, no me esperaba esto. Voy a follarte bien esta noche para que te olvides de todo esto. (My god, I wasn't expecting this. I'm going to fuck you go good tonight that you're going to forget all about this.)" He groaned lowly.
"M-Miguel?"
"It's okay, (Y/n), I love you too. I'll take good care of you."
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        You sniffled as you stepped out of Miguel's shower, rubbing your arms as you wore some of his spare clothes. Miguel was kind enough to take you to his home, wanting to comfort you for the night. You were nervous as you stepped into his living room. It was quiet. Miguel was taking a shower in his other bathroom. Who would have thought that Miguel was rich? You explored his place, still surprised by the turn of events.
        You ended up in the kitchen, noticing a knife in the sink. It looked so much like the knife Ghostface had. Shaking the thought out of your head, you made your way back to the living room. You wanted to forget about what happened tonight. You tried to at least. You knew you were going to have trouble sleeping again. Tomorrow was going to be harsher because everyone was going to be asking about the others. Asking why you were the only one left alive.
"W-What if they think I killed them?" You stuttered at the thought. Miguel approached you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist,
"Then they would be fools," He kissed the back of your neck.
        You shuddered at the affection Miguel gave you. Turning around, you pulled him into a tight hug. Miguel chuckled as he picked you up and carried you to his bedroom. Your cheeks burned up as he placed you on his bed. Miguel stroked your cheek, calming you down again. His smile instantly making you fold for him.
"Do you trust me?" Miguel asked you as he slowly climbed over you. You just nodded, "Good, there's something you need to know,"
        You whimpered as Miguel kissed your neck. His hands stroked your sides under the shirt you wore. He let out a low groan since you looked so good in his clothes. You let out a breathless moan as he cupped you breasts. Miguel was going to wait until you were completely in his grasp before telling you. After all, you couldn't say no. You were going to be his good girl forever.
"M-Miguel?" You whined softly as he took your shirt off, squeezing your breasts and pinching your nipples. 
"You're not going back to work," Miguel whispered as he started to grind his bulge against your cunt, "You're going to stay here. Make it look like you died with the others."
"W-What?!" You asked, but flung your head back as Miguel sucked on your breasts.
        You moaned softly as Miguel spread you legs, allowing him to rut into you rougher. You felt yourself getting wetter. The boxers he let you wear were too thin and easy for him to grind against. You tried to ask him what he meant, but you were being overwhelmed with pleasure. Miguel's hands were now resting against the boxers, rubbing your clit against the fabric. You body leaned into his touch, desperate for more. His tongue swirled around your nipple, making his way back up to your neck.
"You're going to stay here, baby." He whispered again, his fingers dipping under the boxers and circling your clit, "My beautiful angel. I can't let anyone have you. I can't let anyone harm you. You were always mine."
"Mhm~ M-Miguel~"
"(Y/N), don't be afraid of me. I will never harm you." Miguel watched as you bit you lower lip, moving your hips with his hand, "Así es. Déjame convertirte en la esposa perfecta. Déjame manchar tu hermosa inocencia. (That's right. Let me fuck you into the perfect wife. Let me taint your beautiful innocence." He groaned lowly.
        You whimpered a moan as you felt a knot tighten inside you. Miguel moved his fingers faster against your clit, causing that knot to tighten. You tried to rub your legs together, but Miguel kept them spread. He sucked against your neck, groaning as you cam from just him playing with your clit. His fingers dipped lower, two digits entering your tight, soaked cunt. You moaned again, your cunt squeezing his fingers as he pumped inside you.
"Ah, my sweet innocent little angel. Watching you break because of me is so delicious." Miguel groaned as you squirmed and moved your hips to his touch, "You're going to stay here. I'll make sure no one will ever hurt you again, understood?"
"Y-Yes! Yes!" You cried out as his fingers feverishly fucked your tight gummy walls.
        You whined as Miguel raised your legs over his shoulders. Your pussy clenched his fingers as he started to curl against your sweet spot. You flung your head back as he started to wiggle his fingers inside you. His thumb rubbed against your clit again, bringing you over to the edge. Miguel wasn't making any sense, but his words were making you wetter. Honestly, with how tonight went, you wouldn't mind being stuck in Miguel's home forever. He was your protector.
"M-MIG-" You screamed out as you reached another orgasm. Miguel pulled his fingers out, licking them,
"You even taste sweet," He hummed, holding his erection towards your twitching folds, "You have no idea the amount of men I had to get rid of to make sure you stayed innocent, just for me. Seré tu primero en todo... y tu último. (I will be your first for everything...and your last.)" He groaned.
        You whimpered as you felt Miguel's dick stretch you out painfully. His cock was so thick and long. Your pussy was convulsing around him, sucking him in while drool rolled down your lips. He was making you feel so full. You wanted to question him on what he meant by getting rid of people, but you started to get drunk off his cock. Another whimper escaped your lips as Miguel groaned, fitting his whole length inside you. You swore that he was pressing against your cervix, but you weren't sure. This was a first for you.
"Un ajuste perfecto. Fuiste hecho para mí, cariño. Voy a grabar la forma de mi polla en tu memoria. (A perfect fit. You were made for me, darling. I'm going to fuck the shape of my dick into your memory.)" He groaned, slowly pulling out of you, "Killing all those people made this worth it."
"H-Huh?"
        You moaned loudly as Miguel thrusted his dick back inside you, hitting your cervix with each thrust. You cried out as Miguel started to bully your cunt, causing you to turn into putty under him. You could barely feel your legs as the slapping sounds between you grew louder. His dick forming a perfect space inside your pussy. You trembled as you started to reach another orgasm, unable to take the pleasure that he was filling you with.
"Look at you, so fucked out on my cock. How does it feel to get fucked by Ghostface, baby? Does my dick feel that good?" Miguel moaned as you tighten around him, "Yes, it does, doesn't it. Why else would you be squeezing me this tight?"
"H-Hah~ Ah~ Y-You're....ah~ mhpm...G-Ghost...f-face?" You whimpered lowly. Miguel fasten his pace, enjoying the white ring that formed around his dick,
"Yes. I'm the scary Ghostface that killed those asshole coworkers of ours," He chuckled, stopping to fill you with his seed, "I told you that you'd be okay. I will never, ever hurt you. Only love you."
        You wanted to be scared. You truly did, but both your brain and your heart were only thinking about Miguel's dick pounding you still. His hot semen filling your womb as he kept fucking you dumb. You body twitched from overstimulation as Miguel started to rub your clit again. He leaned down to kiss you, biting you lower lip as you moaned for him. His grip tighten against your hips, rutting into you furiously. He wanted to make sure you knew that you were his.
"Awe? Tired already? I think I need to show you how many people I've killed for you. Here's the second victim." Miguel groaned as he cummed inside you again. 
"Mhm~" You muffled lowly, growing exhausted. Miguel chuckled as he pulled you to his lap,
"Tienes razón cariño. Vas a ser la esposa de Ghostface. Siempre puedo mostrarte mi amor en cualquier momento. (You're right darling. You're going to be Ghostface's wife. I can always show you my love anytime.)
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  ��     When you woke up, Miguel was by your side with water, vitamins and breakfast. He had bathed you and put on a fresh pair of clothes. You recalled his confession from last night and grew slightly nervous. Miguel, the man you longed for, was the murderous Ghostface. He killed your coworkers and faked your death. You now belonged to Miguel. You wanted to be scared, but Miguel had proved to you that he was never going to hurt you.
        Maybe it was your blind faith or actually being fucked dumb, but you willingly agreed to stay with Miguel. You stayed in his place as his house wife, greeting him with love everyday. Miguel rewarded your love with his brutal sex, reminding you that you belonged to him. By next Halloween, Miguel returned to his Ghostface persona, needing to release some steam. You became his accomplish, making sure that he returned home safe and sound.
"How was my good girl tonight?" Miguel hummed as he slapped his dick into your soaked pussy. You whined into the bedsheets,
"D-Distracted t-the...ah~ police...s-sending em...mhm~ opposite side of...of....ah~ t-town~!" You cried out. Miguel groaned happily, harshly shoving his dick deeper into you to fill,
"That's my perfect angel. Well done."
"T-Thank you!" You moaned against him, shaking from the pleasure. Miguel hummed happily as he kept thrusting inside you,
"I think you deserve a reward. Why don't we try making a little Ghostface jr?"
"Yes! Yes!"
        Your vision blurred as you moved in rhythm to Miguel's thrusts. Your mind started to fill with lust as you became tainted by Miguel. You were just as bad as him now, but you didn't care anymore. As long as Miguel was there to love you and protect you, you were okay. You moaned loudly as you cam against his dick, burying your head into the pillow again. You were happy with you life now. You were going to protect and live with Miguel forever.
Forever as Ghostface's wife.
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eaterofman · 7 months
Text
Yandere Coworker Harem x New Hire Reader: A Meeting with the CEO
Follow up to this post
Finally fed up with it all, you decide to leave... but you learn it may not be that easy.
Content Warnings: General creepiness, yanderes, financial manipulation, manipulation, power difference, gaslighting
AN: Holy shit the first part blew up, more so than any post I've ever made on tumblr... ever. Thank y'all, and I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations? Had to ignore a few asks since they were essentially the plot to this part, haha.
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As nice as Jake is... it starts to wear on you. The seclusion from your other coworkers, Warren and Jax's constant attention, it all becomes too much. This was the easiest money you've ever made, but it almost felt... condescending in a way. Seriously, you feel like you haven't actually worked in months, just given simple tasks to complete so that Jax could praise you. Otherwise, you felt like you were just eye candy set in a pretty office. No more, you figure. You make up your mind to go back to HR, it's been a long time coming. They either fix it, or you're gone.
With your mind made up, you return to Leon. He'd been so kind before, surely he'd help, right? As you explain your problems to him, he nods and gently smiles. In your distress, you don't notice his hand moving to cover yours, massaging yours comfortingly. You welcome the comforting sensation, overwhelmed to the point of not really considering the implications. You look into his dark eyes as you finish, silently pleading with him for help.
"That really is something. I'm sorry to hear your experience with the company has been so distressing. Tell me, do you have any proof?"
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His demeanor seems to shift instantly back to the colder man you remember from your first sight of him. His fingers rubbing gentle circles into your palm shift into a harsher grip.
"Proof? I-I mean, the cameras have probably caught something?"
You'd say there were eyewitnesses, but all of your other coworkers had been avoiding you. You barely even knew their names...
"Unfortunately, our cameras have been malfunctioning lately, I doubt they'd catch anything. Without any actual witnesses, I'm afraid I can't do anything for you."
"How can you say that without even looking? This place is insane- you know what? I'm just quitting. I can't take this anymore."
You try to remove your hand but he keeps it there. His gaze is suddenly ice cold. He lets your hand go after a few moments of tension, fingers lingering before you yank your hand to your chest.
"Ah, you could quit... but I'd really recommend against it. You'd of course have to pay the dues you signed in your contract, as well as any additional fees. I'm not in charge of finances, but my estimate would be somewhere around... 200 thousand or so?"
You gasp, blood running cold. 200 thousand?! You don't remember signing that, but you also don't recall really reading over the contract in your excitement. You try to think of a way out, surely there had to be some sort of loophole-
"Of course, there's always the option of asking the CEO to change your contract, but..."
You'd tuned anything after that out, insisting to meet with the CEO as soon as possible. Which, to your surprise, was almost immediately. Almost like he'd been... waiting for you? Leon himself lead you to the CEO's room, at the very top of the skyscraper your office resided in. As you're let in, you're met with the biggest office you'd ever seen. It composed of the entire top floor of the skyscraper, massive windows encircling the entire ornate office.
You really try to ignore the feeling that you're walking into a trap.
The CEO was patiently waiting for you. Like a king on a throne, he sat in the middle of the room in front of a surprisingly simple desk. You'd heard of the CEO, Kennedy Grey, but you'd never met him in person before. He had an air of sophistication around him, an older gentlemen with salt and pepper hair and a well trimmed beard. His suit was pristine and looked expensive, probably costing more than your entire yearly salary. He smiled, urging the two of you to sit. His eyes glanced over to Leon's, a slight smirk on his face as if the two were in on a joke you weren't.
"So, what brings you two here? I've heard very good things about you from Jax. Things are going well, I presume?"
You fidget, despite his welcoming tone, he felt oddly... menacing. Like you weren't supposed to disagree with him, even if he asked you a question. You begin to explain your issues, but are quickly stopped with a firm look of disapproval when you bring up the idea of leaving the company.
"Now now, we can't have that, can we? With your contract, that wouldn't be a very smart idea, would it?"
Before you can even respond, he simply continues to talk over you.
"No, no it wouldn't. And you've just been such a good worker, we'd just hate to lose you."
"Well, I was actually hoping we could talk about the contract, I just don't think it's fair-" you can barely get your thoughts out as he cuts you off again.
"Unfair? But my dear, you signed it. I'd just hate to get my lawyers involved... they're top of the line, y'know? Besides, you don't actually want to leave, you're just... stressed. What do you need, a paid week off? A bonus for your hard work?"
"No-"
"Well, now that that's done, let's get back to work, shall we? You'll have a bonus on your next pay-"
You've had enough of his condescension and interruptions, it's time for you to interrupt him.
"You know what, I'll take the lawsuit. You people are insane. You can have the money if you want, but I'm out of here."
As you get up, you find you can't. Leon has moved behind you, surprisingly strong arms holding your chair in, preventing you from moving. You look up at him in angered confusion, but he's sharing a look with Kennedy. You once again feel like you're missing an important part of an inside joke again. You try to struggle, but you're stopped as Kennedy interrupts.
"Apartment 101, Evergreen Apartments, right?"
"W-wha-"
"You know, I've been venturing into the rental market recently. Very profitable at the moment. I actually just bought a few buildings in your area, including your little apartment. Such a shame, you know you could do better, right? All you have to do is ask..."
He smiles at you as if this was a normal conversation to him, like he was doing you a favor.
"I guess that makes me your landlord now, if you think about it!" his smile turns colder, eyes crinkling like he's laughing at you, "That being said, I just don't see how you're going to pay for the rent increase without this job. I hate to do it, but it's a necessity, y'know? Cost of living and such."
He waves his hand like it's no big deal, like he isn't playing with your livelihood and threatening you.
"You could move out, of course, but well, word gets around, and I just don't know how the other investors in the area would react to your... history."
You feel dread well up in the pit of your stomach and tears in your eyes. He... has you. What could you even do? Moving out of the city would mean starting over, and that's if you could even find a place and a job to pay for said place, and paying for the lawsuit-
In your panic, you can only whimper, "I just... why? Why me? i don't understand-"
"That's the beauty of it all, you don't have to. All you have to worry about is coming in and doing your job. We'll handle all the rest."
You jump, having almost forgotten Leon was behind you in your panic. You go to open your mouth-
"Wonderful insight, Leon. Now that we're all on the same foot, let's get back to work, shall we?"
You can only numbly nod your head, too overwhelmed to continue fighting.
You're finally allowed to sit up and begin walking towards the door, trying to speed walk out of the huge room that somehow managed to feel claustrophobic. You just wanted out at this point, you needed somewhere to think.
As you step into the elevator, Leon staying behind in the office-thank god-you're interrupted one final time.
"Oh, and I meant what I said. If you ever need any assistance, anything at all, just come to me. All you have to do is ask."
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tia-222 · 3 months
Note
The void is The quantum field?
I found out about the void back in november 2023 on pinterest, and I joined tumblr because of it. Last night, I came across a tiktok video with the title "how to know if you're in the quantum field in your joe dispenza meditation". The girl in the video basically said things like: -Being disconnected from your 3D reality, how disconnected you are from the 3d from the meditation. -in order to create from the quantum, you can't be in space time, you have to be in time space. -You can't be trying to create from 3D, you have to be creating from "NOTHINGNESS" -going to your inner world Link to the tt video: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSF1nWtBc/ That's what she said. It hits me when she mentioned the word "nothingness" because the void is basically also the nothingness. The void is being everything and NOTHING at the same time. And I thought does that mean the quantum field and the void are the same thing? so if we do joe dispenza quantum field meditation we can get into the void? So you can simply go into the void/quantum field thru his meditation? I'm not promoting doctor joe dispenza or anything i wouldn't call myself an expert im just someone in the void community. I just thought this could help you guys! Anyway I found some of his quantum meditation on yt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwHLLVvPAng&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PWmCQMKwEw&t=27s&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_Jz7iy7wN0&t=600s&pp=ygUlam9lIGRpc3BlbnphIHF1YW50dW0gZmllbGQgbWVkaXRhdGlvbg%3D%3D I'd recommend doing the first one which is 1h 30mins bc idk it seems better. It may be long but do it for your desire life. Note: English is not my first language, I have never posted sth like this before idk if my explanations is understandable. I just want to share this everyone in the community.! @voidprincessblog pls help share this to everyone 😭😭😭
Hii love!! omg tysm for this <33.
Yess, the void has many different names to it and the " Quantum Field " is one of them. I've read becoming supernatural by Dr Joe dispenza and it's phenomenal. Many people have entered the Void State/ Quantum Field. I'm gonna talk about this right now and link some stuff from the book that y'all can read from.
What does Dr Joe dispenza say about the " QUANTUM FIELD " ?
" As you enter this endless, vast space as an awareness, there are no bodies, no people, no objects, no places, and no time. Instead, infinite unknown possibilities exist as energy. So if you find yourself thinking about knowns in your life, you are back in the three-dimensional reality of space and time. But if you can stay in the blackness of the unknown for long enough, it will prepare you to create unknowns in your life. "
Success story of how someone got healed Instantly :
" After they unfolded into the quantum field, I then asked them to dimensionalize a scene from their Mind Movie. When the meditation was finished, I instructed them to lie down on the floor—but as Sarah told me later, she couldn’t find the floor. She kept reaching lower and lower, searching for it, but it was no longer there. The next thing she knew, she was in another dimension having a full-on IMAX-like sensory experience—but without her senses. She was living a future scene of her Mind Movie. Enough circuits in her brain had turned on to make her internal experience as real as any external experience she had ever had. She was not visualizing this scene—she was in it, living it.
“I realized I was in another reality, a different time and space—I was in my future,” she explained. “And I was actually performing aerial yoga. I was hanging upside down and the floor wasn’t there. I kept reaching for it, but I was just swinging upside down from this beautiful red silk scarf. I felt freedom from my pain. I was swinging freely in space.” Eventually she did lie down, with tears of joy flowing down her cheeks. When she came out of that meditation, all of her pain was gone.
“I knew I was healed,” she said. “I was in awe of the power of my mind and I felt tremendous gratitude. I continue to manifest things from my Mind Movie—in fact, my Mind Movie can’t even keep up with my life.”
Also, there was an anon from an deactivated blog which spoke about entering the void by using Dr Joe dispenza way. I'm gonna copy and paste it here, and link it too 🖤.
" i have a fabulous book by dr.joe dispenza (how to become supernatural). he talks of the void state or the zero state and how you’re open to all possibilities and timelines. in it, he directed to first become aware of your body, the space you take between the folds of your skin, the space you take in your room, your home, your neighborhood, and the world. now- you must forget all of this and focus only on the black behind your eyelids. you must become no one, no thing, no body, no time in space. you must forget of your accomplishments, your worries, relationships- anything that makes YOU, you. literally on the first “try” of doing what he said i got into the void. it’s so easy i understand how stressful and confusing the void can be but just try to let go of all of that and focus on being nothing. imagine a beam of light going through the black space where your affs travel. stay focused and try not to dwell on the 3D. do not pay attention to the time or if you’re itchy- whatever. just having a clear mind helped me so much. ofc, this is not required but it does help!! " Original link
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talesofesther · 11 months
Text
the one who stayed
Sebastian Sallow x Reader
Summary: For a moment, Sebastian thought he lost you, and now the guilt for what happened is eating away at him.
A/N: Yes, this is very random. I debated a lot on whether to even post this here or not, but, this Tumblr is, before anything else, a library for me to store my own works. I post everything I write here, so I figured this one shouldn't be the exception because I did like how it turned out.
Masterlist
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Cold. That was all your brain could register at the moment; how the ground felt so cold underneath you.
"She's not moving."
You could hear a familiar, urgent voice right beside you. But as the seconds slowly trickled by like blood dripping from an open wound, it became increasingly hard for you to understand what exactly that voice was saying. Yet you could still register the fear laced within the tone, you could feel it in the shakiness of his hold.
Trembling hands held onto your arm, one of them slowly brushing against your skin until it found your hand.
You wished you could see his face right now. Sebastian had always been bold, confident. Though you were almost certain there would be a faint blush hidden under his freckles right now because of the intimate gesture.
But your eyes were heavy. Try as you might, you couldn't seem to blink them open. Come to think of it, your whole body felt heavy, maybe that's why you couldn't move. Even breathing was slowly turning into too much effort.
The hand holding onto your own tightened its grip.
People were talking around you. You couldn't make out any words anymore, they sounded like nothing but faint noise. The tune of his voice still kissed your ears, however; even if you couldn't recognize the words, you knew it was him. And he sounded erratic, scared. There was a tightness to it, syllables getting stuck in his throat; it was all wrong, you didn't like to hear him in this state.
A deeper voice was there too — you instantly recognized the timbre that belonged to the man who was always crushing Sebastian's hopes — and in the back of your mind, it brought anger to your chest. But there was nothing you could do anymore. Wisps of remaining magic tingled on the tip of your fingers and held your heart in a tight, hurtful grip. Maybe you'd gone too far.
A pair of rough hands then picked up your body, taking you away from the cold embrace of the catacomb's floor.
And when the blood dripping from your nose reached your lips, coating your tongue with a metallic taste, you realized that maybe you did go too far after all. Part of you could already hear the keepers berating you for rushing your abilities.
Consciousness slipped from your grasp shortly after that. Your head falling limp against someone's shoulder, and feeling a hand still holding onto yours.
Hogwarts' hospital wing was pretty quiet most days, only with the usual first year who scraped their elbow falling from a broom or suffering the effects of a spell gone slightly wrong. They never stayed for long though, nurse Blainey was all too used to these types of encounters.
Yet every now and then, one of the beds stays occupied for a longer period of time.
There were several beds — their metal frame and pale sheets doing little to ease the hospital vibe — one beside the other on each side of the spacious room.
You were glad to be put on one which stayed further away from the main doors; it made for more calmness this way. You had no need to engage with the unfortunate first years and could focus on leaning back and feeling the soft wisps of sunlight kissing your skin from the high window behind you.
It bothers you that you can't exactly remember how you got here. The nurse hadn't filled you with much information either; she told you an older man had brought you in, talking about a casting exercise gone wrong and you overworking yourself; she also said you remained unconscious for about 15 hours before finally waking up — pale, weak, confused.
Most of those feelings still crawled under your skin. Your body is still feeling 10 times heavier than it actually was. You wanted to get up and run off to find Sebastian but you had a nagging sensation that, if you did so now, you'd fall face-first on the floor.
The fabric of the thin blanket draped over you felt soft as you worried it between your fingers, nearly tearing it apart. The last thing you remembered was being in the catacombs, with Sebastian, and wanting to do nothing but protect him — both from himself and his uncle.
His uncle.
Could it be that he was the one who actually brought you back to school?
You doubted Sebastian would have the strength to carry you all the way back here — as much as he might fight you on that argument.
Running a hand through your hair, you pulled at the roots. Your frustration escaped with a long sigh.
The old floorboards creaked under a new weight. At first, you assumed it would be nurse Blainey coming back to check on you. But, from the side of your eye, you caught a glimpse of green, and your heart fought against your ribs, trying to escape your chest.
Sebastian stood a few feet away from your bed, though you could hardly recognize him. The brown locks of his hair were all over the place, way messier than usual; his eyes had a red tint to them, mixed with dark circles of someone who hasn't slept in a while; his usual grin was nowhere to be seen, instead replaced with a pained frown; his hands held onto his robes with a death grip.
"I heard you were awake."
His voice didn't sound like the one you had grown to love.
"How are you feeling?" The question stumbled past his lips and he avoided your eyes shortly after. He sounded as if you would yell at him to leave at any moment. It only got you more confused.
"Better, a little weak still," you bit at the inside of your cheek. This moment shouldn't feel as fragile as it does. "Care to tell me what happened?"
You didn't think your tone was harsh, but Sebastian flinched at your voice anyway. Bad memories washed over him like a bucket of icy water.
He met your gaze before hesitantly closing the distance between you, choosing to sit at the edge of your bed.
He looked worse up close. Eyes distant, trapped elsewhere.
"We were fighting against my uncle and the-" Sebastian gulped, guilt squeezing at his throat like barbed wire, "the inferi."
You acknowledged his words with a soft nod, slowly remembering things as he spoke. You pushed yourself up to sit straighter, just a couple of inches closer to Sebastian. He looked like he needed it.
The words lingered on his tongue. You never thought you'd see him this way; hesitant, lost, regretful. With tears on the verge of spilling over his freckled cheeks.
"You were trying to reason with my uncle; and me, for that matter," Sebastian chuckled halfheartedly, "trying to stop us from killing each other, when the inferi started to close on us. You didn't think twice, and all I saw were lighting strikes coming through the ceiling of the catacomb, destroying everything but us, and… you laying on the floor afterwards."
Memories were clearer now. Sebastian had attacked his uncle after he destroyed the relic and they started exchanging spells at each other while the inferi slipped from Sebastian's control. Everything could go very bad, very quickly. You remembered trying to speak with them, make them see past the anger clouding their judgment. But it was to no avail. What you remember the most, however, was seeing Sebastian so focused on his uncle, and unaware of the mass of inferi coming towards him.
You really hadn't thought twice at all. Ancient magic flowed through your veins like wildfire; it was all you could feel. The rumbling of thunder became your heartbeat. You killed each and every one of the creatures, burning out all of your energy in the process.
"And what of Solomon?" You found yourself wondering.
Sebastian pursed his lips. His eyebrows scrunched slightly as his body tensed for a moment and then relaxed again. "We stopped fighting as soon as I ran up to you. I- I begged that he'd help me bring you back to school. I'm not sure where he is now." His body shook with each intake of air. "Or Anne."
"Well, guess my plan worked after all. At least I got you to stop fighting," you tried to lighten the heavy air around you and Sebastian, mustering a teasing grin as you tilted your head to try and catch a glimpse of his eyes.
Sebastian worried his lower lip between his teeth to keep it from quivering. There was no witty remark, no ironic comment. Nothing. His tears were one blink away from spilling over.
Maybe if you listened closely, you'd be able to hear your heart shattering. For him. For this broken boy barely holding the last pieces of himself together in front of you, for this boy who stood so desperately alone in the world.
You reached out, your hand closing tightly around Sebastian's — because you couldn't bare seeing him alone one second more. Your thumb brushed against his skin. You could feel his trembling. "We'll find him, and Anne. I promise we'll figure things out, Sebastian."
He was shaking his head before you even finished speaking, squeezing his eyes shut and causing a single tear to roll down his cheek. "No, you don't understand," his broken words fell from his lips at the same time he pulled away from your touch.
"I never-" Sebastian stood up then, choking on his own breathing as he looked at you with a mix of longing and anguish. "It was never my intention to hurt you… I'm sorry," he whispered, so quietly that if the hospital wing wasn't as empty as it is, you would've missed it.
"Sebastian, you didn't-" you cut yourself off when he abruptly turned away from you and started marching towards the main doors of the spacious room, putting as much distance between you and him as he could.
The fatigue still gripping at your muscles was the last thing on your mind when you threw away the covers and stood — albeit on shaky legs — to go after him. "Sebastian, please wait," you called, grimacing as he took your heart with him.
Ultimately, you didn't go very far. Nurse Blainey stopped you in your tracks before you could even reach the middle of the room.
The sun rays shining through the tall stained glass windows were warm against your skin, doing little to help with your current sleepy state as you tried to at least pretend to be paying attention to class.
"It's been nearly a week, Ominis." You groaned, folding your arms on top of the table so you could lay your head down, "do you think he's mad at me for trying to stop him?"
The boy sitting beside you chuckled quietly, twirling his wand in his hands. "Darling, I don't think Sebastian could be mad at you even if he wanted to."
Before you could ask what he meant by that, Professor Binns walked by a little too close for comfort; his ghostly form sending a shiver down your body.
"He's been spending most of his evenings hiding away in the Undercroft," Ominis felt around on the table until his fingers brushed the fabric of your robes, he gently closed his hand around your wrist and squeezed comfortingly. "I believe it would do both of you some good if you went to see him."
It was mostly dark out already. The sky slowly filled with stars as night settled in and a soft cold breeze hung around the DADA hallways. The pristine floors reflected the image of your shoes, pacing back and forth restlessly.
You were having second thoughts. Apprehension tugged at your heartstrings because as much as you didn't want to admit it, the sight of Sebastian walking away from you so desperately that day had stung.
Though no matter how much you stalled, you knew you'd relent. The sleepless nights you've been going through lately are enough of a telltale of the effect Sebastian has on you.
A deep breath filled your lungs and you closed your eyes, pleading for your heartbeat to settle as you pushed open the door to the Undercroft.
The familiar warmth hugged you instantly. All of the candlelights dimly shining against the stone walls forced away the frown that clung to your brows. You'd never blamed Ominis for being so protective of this place, it really was the perfect hideaway.
You found Sebastian pretty quickly. He sat on the floor against the far wall to your right, knees tucked close to his chest as his wand moved delicately, making a paper bird flap its wings and fly around in front of him. The bird fell limply to the floor when Sebastian's eyes landed on you, however. You thought you saw him gulp and straighten his back too, but other than that, the Slytherin boy expressed no other reaction upon seeing you. It felt almost as if he was expecting your arrival.
Your feet were momentarily frozen to the stone floor, Sebastian's gaze burning through your soul. You also couldn't help but notice how lonely he looked, just sitting there by himself; it made your stomach turn unpleasantly. You wondered if he considered himself deserving of it.
It was as if you spoke with your eyes for a beat. You saying that if he wanted you to leave, you would. And Sebastian pleading for you to stay.
All that could be heard were your steps echoing through the Undercroft as you carefully came to sit beside him. Your shoulder just shy of touching his.
The silence wasn't a comfortable one, but it also wasn't awkward. It was just heavy. There was a tension in the air that none of you knew how to address.
Sebastian's knuckles were white around his wand, he sat stiff beside you, not once glancing your way.
You figured that if you didn't speak, you'd be sitting in silence for hours. You glanced down at the paper bird that lay discarded on the floor, your lips quirking up just slightly as you picked it up; "you know, my mother taught me how to make these when I was younger. Without magic, that is." You chuckled. You rarely spoke about your parents, it was a sensitive topic. But it was your way of trying to make Sebastian feel more comfortable to share what he was feeling with you; what was bothering him.
"I used to get rather frustrated when I couldn't get it right the first times," you gently inspected the small bird with your fingers, thumbs running along the smooth white paper, "but she'd always tell me to take a breath, count to five, and start again."
With your eyes fixed on the paper bird in your hands, you didn't notice Sebastian's eyes fixed on your profile. The grip on his wand loosened slightly as he committed every detail of you to memory.
A shiver ran down your back when you finally turned your head to face him again. He was close, your breaths mingling as the lines of your relationship blurred and burned with the candles.
"Sebastian…" You breathed, watching the way his eyes darted to your lips and back to your eyes, "about what happened at the catacombs, I'm-"
"Don't you dare say you're sorry." He cut you off suddenly, voice quiet and a little choked, but firm.
"I am, though," you leaned your head back against the stone wall, involuntarily leaning closer to him as your body gravitated to his warmth. "I'm sorry things didn't go as planned, but I promise we're not gonna stop looking for anything else that might help Anne."
Sebastian averted his gaze from you, furrowing his brows. You saw tears steadily collecting on the bottom lid of his eyes, despite his efforts to hide them. "Stop it," he mumbled.
You shifted in your seat, your jaw set tightly in place. The beats of your heart against your chest were painful. The thought of Sebastian distancing himself from you was painful. So much so that you fear you'd be willing to do anything to fix it, within reason or not.
"I mean it, Sebastian, I will do anything-"
"Stop it! You don't get it, do you?" He snapped, his eyes burning into yours again and shining under the candlelights. "I saw you laying on the floor of that damned catacomb and I thought you were dead!" The syllables broke and stuttered past his lips, the pain and fear he felt that day came back in waves and twisted his expression.
You were stunned to silence, watching as Sebastian opened his mouth, lower lip trembling as he searched for his voice again.
"Do you have any idea of what that felt like?" He whispered, words strangled and squeezing his chest until he had trouble breathing. You were nothing but a blur in front of him. Sebastian pursed his lips to try and keep himself from breaking. Speaking it out loud somehow felt like making it real. "I thought I'd just lost you, and… and it would be my fault."
The feeling of your gentle thumb carefully brushing against his cheek brought Sebastian back to reality, and he realized his tears were already dripping down his chin.
"I would never blame you for what happened," you shook your head, smiling sadly as you felt your own eyes sting, "you were just trying to help your sister, when everyone else had given up."
"I will cure Anne… but not at the expense of you," in some ways, he looked surprised at his own words; at the truthfulness of them. He gulped back a sob, "I thought I could control it," Sebastian breathed in sharply, avoiding your gaze but leaning into your touch, "I went too far, as Ominis has probably told you a thousand times already."
You chuckled softly, sneaking your fingers over his jaw and until they disappeared between the brown locks of his hair. Sebastian closed his eyes briefly at your comforting touch, allowing himself to melt against you. "He's more understanding than you give him credit for," you smiled.
That got half a smile out of Sebastian, his freckles highlighted by the candles around you. His hand inched closer to your free one resting on your lap, the tip of his fingers timidly closing around yours, craving more of you. His pupils were blown wide when he finally looked up at you again.
"I promise to never do anything this reckless again." His low tone left no room for doubt.
You leaned in slightly, feeling his fringe tickle your forehead. You thought you heard him trying to suppress a gasp, but maybe it was your foggy mind playing tricks on you.
There was a glint in his eyes you'd never seen before, still shining with remains of his emotions; but vulnerable, calm, loving.
"I am quite fond of your reckless side, though."
Your unexpected words brought an endearing blush across Sebastian's freckles. You felt the shape of his teasing grin when his lips touched yours.
⋆* ☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚
Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3
Sebastian’s taglist: @milkiane @v1ci0us
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wineauntie · 5 months
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ALWAYS AN ANGEL (never a god) — the hughes brothers x hughes sister!reader
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summary: In which, Hughes sister!reader often feels like the black sheep of her family and eventually it all becomes too much for her to keep hidden.
PART TWO HERE
note: This is my first ever imagine on tumblr and the only one I’ve written about the Hughes brothers so please literally any feedback is welcomed with open arms 🙏
warnings: reader is the youngest sister, female reader, use of Y/N, use of nicknames like; honey, Angel and sweetheart, awkward dinner confrontations, reader is often full of doubt with the crippling need to please those around her before herself in this. Reader is also a little jealous of her brothers from time to time.
word count: 3.9k words
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One of the most frequent things you've heard over the past few years was praise for your older brothers.
Typically it would go along the lines of; "Oh, Quinn made captain, you must be so proud!", "Jack and Luke are looking incredible lately, you must be so excited for them!", "Your brothers' are killing it right now, you're so lucky to be related to them!"
Most times you didn't feel very lucky.
That sounds rather harsh, upon reflection. The unmovable truth was that you loved your brothers more than life. They were pivotal parts of your making; indestructible forces ready to care for you and protect you through anything, big or small. They were willing to combat anything to ensure that your smile remained on your face at any given time. They were your older brothers and you couldn't even begin to imagine a world in which they didn't exist, in which they didn't tease, mock and love you.
But sometimes, you just wished people could find it within themselves to separate you from them when the time called for it. Another recurrent theme you've noticed over the last couple of years was that any achievement you made, whether it be academic or simply lying elsewhere, had a tendency to be accidentally overshadowed or overlooked by so many people in your life.
Your Mom and Dad tried their hardest to ensure you the importance of your hard work but sometimes, just sometimes, you had a horrible suspicion that perhaps their support was just out of pity. You were different from your family, everyone knew it and you embraced it. You were the only one out of the entire family to not play hockey beyond your childhood and despite being the youngest, you'd watched your older brothers, even Luke, who was only a year senior, falling even more deeply and madly in love with the sport. You, however, had stepped out onto the ice for the first time as a fresh-faced four-year-old and knew almost instantly that it wasn't the sport for you, but you'd never voiced that feeling until you were eleven.
You could remember that day so vividly, the day when you'd let it slip that you didn't want to play anymore. At the time it had been the most terrifying thing you'd ever thought of doing.
EIGHT YEARS AGO
It was dinner time in the Hughes household and all four kids had jolted at the sound of their parents calling them for dinner. Jack had led the pack in a stampede down the stairs, his fourteen-year-old legs bounding forward to win a race only he was participating in. Twelve-year-old Luke had followed suit, racing towards the dining table, not in competition, but in what he would describe as "starvation like that one ad on TV talked about". Quinn, at sixteen, had long decided he was far more responsible than his younger counterparts and walked down the stairs just a little behind the rowdy pair ahead.
You, at eleven, moved much slower than all of your brothers. You'd had a hockey match that morning in which you'd ended up crashing headfirst into the boards. It hadn't hurt, not with the helmet on your head, but it had been the last straw. Tonight was the night. The night you were going to finally tell your parents that hockey wasn't for you. That the sport was enjoyable but only if you were watching from the sidelines.
Your hands were trembling, your teeth biting down hard on your lip, so hard you thought it might burst any second. You couldn't find it within yourself to stop. It soothed the nerves that had begun to build. Your family loved hockey, they breathed it. You wouldn't be surprised if they all ran tactics and strategy in their dreams.
You walked into the dining room with your shoulders hunched and head bowed as you made your way towards your usual seat between Quinn and Luke. If your brothers had noticed your odd behaviour all day, they hadn't voiced it. You kind of wished they would just so it would get the ball rolling.
Dinner was laid out in front of you almost tauntingly. Tonight's dish was pasta, ever so conveniently shaped in the various shapes of a hockey stick, a helmet, and a skate. Your brothers grinned at the shape of the food, whilst your mom and dad laughed in amusement.
"I found them earlier down in the shop," Ellen Hughes beamed, as she looked amongst her children. "Thought they might make dinner interesting!"
"It does, Mom," Jack grinned in approval as he shovelled a forkful of it into his mouth. You had yet to even pick up your utensil, you just stared at your dish in silence.
"Y/N, honey, is your head hurting from earlier?"
Your mom's voice almost made your straight face slip. You lifted your gaze slightly letting it fall on your mother's worried yet comforting eyes. You opened your mouth slightly but words failed you. You resorted to just shaking your head before looking down.
"Why would her head be hurting?" Quinn questioned defensively, as he looked between you and Mom. You hunched your shoulders further into yourself as the attention on you was now a lasting event.
"She hit the boards earlier, head on," Jim Hughes supplied, swallowing his mouthful of food. He had had the day off and jumped to accompany her to the game. "Hard enough too, but the little soldier got right back up."
You hadn't.
You had laid there for a solid fifty-four seconds brimming with brewing hatred.
"You hit the boards?" Luke snorted, his teasing eyes on your small figure. This was regular joking for the family. They would all mess around and laugh about things that went wrong with anyone, it wasn't out of the ordinary, but tonight?
Oh, tonight this teasing was just piling onto your problem.
"Someone tried to take the puck," Your dad continued mindless of the storm generating inside of you. "It clicked almost immediately for her though and she passed the puck perfectly. All she did was just miscalculate the distance between her standing and the board's closeness, and even then she was fantastic."
Your dad's words should've been comforting. Usually, you would burn with bashfulness at the praise. Your brothers snickered at the image they created of you falling into the boards and before you knew it you could barely hear them. All you could hear was white noise whereas all you could see was vibrant and hot red when you looked down at your plate.
"Sweetheart, when's your next game?" Your mom's kind voice broke through the noise, as she picked up some more food with her fork.
"IWANNAQUITHOCKEY!" You suddenly burst out, causing your family to jump at the volume of your words. Your heart was beating frantically, your hands wringing on your lap. You looked guiltily towards your mom and dad with a nervous gulp.
"Wha' dif' fou 'ay?" Luke asked through a mouth full of pasta, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. For you, the heat in the room rose and engulfed you in fiery waves of nerves as you glanced between your brothers and your parents.
"I want to quit hockey..."
PRESENT DAY
You had remembered the silence that had followed. Your parents ahead exchanged a look as they set down their forks and asked you to explain why. Once you'd begun explaining, you'd burst into tears, all of the pent-up stress and years of pushing yourself to fall in love with the sport only to fail came spilling out.
Your parents had jumped into action at your tearful display and granted the boys permission to finish their dinner in front of the TV in the living room. Once they'd left, your parents had sat down on the empty chairs beside you and immediately began to try to calm you with soothing arm and hair strokes and whispers of "c'mon, steady breaths now, you're okay".
You had continued to sob as you explained all of your feelings over the years. You had even admitted in your bleary state that you were scared your parents wouldn't like you anymore because you didn't like hockey. You had remembered the heartbroken look they'd both given you as they doubtlessly reassured you that no matter what you chose to do at any stage in life, they would forever love you. Your mom had cradled you in her arms, whilst your dad had continued to run his hand through your hair as you tried to calm yourself down.
And so, you stopped playing hockey while your brothers only flourished and fell deeper into the depths of adoration for it.
As the years passed your love and knack for academics— notably English and history, encompassed your life and filled you with everything you've ever craved. You threw yourself into your studies, your spare time spent reading books from the library or curled up watching too many David Attenborough nature documentaries for your family's liking.
You thrived in high school managing to maintain a 4.0 GPA. You worked various jobs over the years, from stacking shelves in the local library to making and serving coffee in a cafe near your home. Your mom had once teased that if you hadn't worked and kept out of the house you would've studied yourself to death.
By the time you were a senior, Luke, Jack and Quinn had all been drafted to the NHL and you couldn't have been prouder. You had attended all of their drafts, excitement rolling off of you as you clutched your brothers in such tight hugs they thought they might never breathe quite right again. You were overjoyed that they were able to translate their passion for hockey into the skills needed to succeed and to watch their happiness thrive only made it all the better.
Everything ran so smoothly...that is until people couldn't disassociate you from your brothers. You were thrown into the deep end once all three of your brothers had been picked in the draft. You had been the victim of fake friendships, relationships, and people, in general, trying to be close to you in order to be any inch closer to the famed Hughes boys. Towards the end of high school, their looming presence in almost every conversation agitated you.
It was as if they were the sun, blazing and vital to so many aspects of life. Whereas, you, on the other hand, felt like Pluto in their solar system, small, insignificant and not even important enough to remain a planet.
Nevertheless, you had what you loved within your grasp, it didn't matter what you were in regards to their standings, your talents lay elsewhere and there was no denying it.
You had graduated as Valedictorian with your parents watching proudly in the stands. Quinn had also been there, a pleasant surprise on your half considering he had played a game late the night before. Yet he'd flown home for you, to watch you walk the stage and you had almost giggled in glee. As Luke and Jack on the flip side, had a game the day of your graduation and couldn't miss it. You had reassured them that it was alright (no matter how disappointed and upset it actually made you feel).
After the ceremony, with your diploma in hand, you'd walked towards the stands, your eyes scanning for your parents and brother amongst the buzzing crowds. Conversations swirled with laughter and yelps as students reunited with their families and friends.
"You know that girl–the valedictorian? She's the one whose brothers play for the NHL,"
Your ears had instantaneously perked at the mention, and a heavy, unsettling pit began to form as unease churned in your stomach. You had faltered in your tracks at the words, your ears straining to listen for any other snippets of the conversation.
"Oh, the valedictorian! I thought I saw Quinn Hughes up in the stands, I thought it was my imagination."
Disappointment and what could only be embarrassment had crashed over her as you listened to the conversation continue. They hadn't been able to even remember your name despite it being mentioned more than a few times on the stage, yet of course, they knew your brother, who was one of hundreds in the crowd.
A sudden bout of envy had gripped your heart as you tried to blink away welling tears. This had been your day. Your day. You hadn't worked so hard to be forgotten so easily.
"Angel!" your delighted, yet teary-eyed mom had pushed through the crowd to engulf you in a massive hug. "My baby is all grown up!" You had plastered a smile on your face as you wrapped your arms around her to hold her close.
Your dad was next to be hugged, his big hand had ruffled your hair as he bore a wonky smile and cracked voice whilst telling you how proud he was.
And finally, Quinn had squeezed you to death, his tight grip holding you as he practically spun you around, your feet brushing the floor. You had let a laugh break your moping, as you clutched at your eldest brother's shoulders.
"Your speech was incredible," he mumbled from above you, as your head rested against his shoulder. "I had Luke and Jack on FaceTime the entire time."
You felt your cheeks grow warm as you tried to hide your sheepish smile. As you swivelled your head, however, you had spotted not one but three separate people with phones pointed towards you and your brother. Your smile had instantly dropped and you wiggled in his grip until he'd let go, his eyebrows furrowed as you tried to change the topic of conversation.
And just like that the excitement of the day had dimmed.
You loved your brothers but they would always be gods in everyone's eyes. But you'd only ever amount to an Angel— touched by divinity, loved by so many but never quite good enough and absolutely never equal to the power of gods.
The day of your graduation had only been evidence of such. You'd never be able to escape the shadows of your brothers no matter how hard you worked, no matter how much you yearned to.
That summer, you fell into a slump of sorts. Your usual cheery smiles and bright eyes had been dulled. You weren't outwardly rude or dismissive but you talked less, participated in family activities less, finding excuses left, right and centre to avoid socialising. Your stack of books that usually were reread every summer lay untouched, covered in a very thin layer of dust. Your family had noticed your change as soon as the slump had started.
They just thought it would go away within a week or so.
Mom had spoken to you too many times to count asking if you were alright and if she could help with anything, you'd simply waved your hand and denied that anything was wrong.
Your brothers had tried too.
Luke had tried to get you to play video games with him, play pool, go to the mall with him, yet you conveniently always had other plans to attend to. Jack had tried to get you to come to the country club and play golf with him, or at least sit in a golf cart reading so that he could talk away with you whilst he played and yet, you refused, claiming you weren't feeling well.
Avoiding Quinn had been the most difficult task. As the eldest and you the youngest, he always felt more protective over you than over your wild other brothers. With five years between each other, Quinn was the one you naturally leaned towards during any inconvenience. He'd been the first you'd called when you'd accidentally gotten drunk off of alcohol-spiked juice at seventeen and had panicked when you couldn't find your friends. He'd stayed on call until your mom had arrived and you were safely tucked inside her car. He'd been the one you'd run to when you were little and had nightmares, and he'd let you bury yourself in his bed covers beside him, with mumbled words of comfort as you shook. He'd been the one who'd refused to leave your side when you'd been bedbound with a bad case of the flu when you were nine, reading stories to you and keeping you company in the solitude of sickness.
He'd been the one you'd tried your hardest to not spend time around because you knew that if he went digging into your out-of-character behaviour, you would break and spill everything in seconds.
Since hockey was in the off-season, you'd seen your brothers more often than not. They'd spent the last month in the same house as you and your parents, it was getting harder and harder for you to continually bypass all of their offers to hang out.
A sudden knock on your bedroom door caused your head to snap towards the door where Luke had sheepishly stuck his head in through the door's gap. You shuffled in your spot underneath the blanket you'd surrounded yourself in as you had curled up on your bed, despite the warmth of the outside air.
"Mom said dinner is on the table," he yawned, before pushing your door open for you to follow and disappearing from the door. You stretched out your limbs, placing your book on your bedside table as you unfurled. Your tired eyes blinked slowly whilst you forced your body to trek downstairs.
Everyone's eyes seemed to follow you as you silently entered the room, not that you noticed as you slunk towards your seat and slumped down into the wooden chair with your head down. You stared blankly at the plate before you looked towards your mom and forced a small smile.
"It looks good, Mom, thanks," you nodded towards your mom before looking back at your plate. Your fingers twirled the fork around as you began to eat slowly. Noticing the growth of an uncomfortable silence, you raised your eyes, only to meet your entire family's gaze. "...what?"
"Y/N, angel, we need to talk," your mom began soothingly, glancing towards your dad almost nervously. Your eyebrows furrowed as you placed your fork down, your hands dropping to your lap.
"About...what exactly?"
"Y/N, what's going on with you?" Your dad suddenly asked, causing your mom to carefully nudge him. "You've been distant, and locking yourself up in your room for the summer."
"I haven't been distant," you denied, pushing yourself further back into the comfort of your seat. You could feel your brothers' eyes piercing you from where they sat.
"That's a lie," Jack scoffed as he swallowed a forkful of food. You shot him a blazing look, your eyes narrowed and as sharp as knives.
"You're not yourself, Y/N," Quinn added cautiously, his eyes flitting around your face to try to gauge your emotions. "You've been making excuses all summer not to spend time with any of us. We miss you, Y/N and...we want to help you, you just gotta let us know what's wrong."
You looked down at your hands as you bit down on your lip to suppress the trembling that threatened to wrack through your body. Luke glanced down at his plate before he leaned forward towards you.
"Y/N, we can help you now, we have the time, hockey doesn't start—"
Don't," your voice seemed unfamiliar to even yourself as iciness weaved its way into your words. "Not now."
"What do you mean?" Luke retorted as he scrunched his eyebrows in bewilderment. "All I said was—"
"Everything has to revolve around hockey." You hadn't meant for the dam to burst and release the waves of frustration and upset but there was no stopping the course it was now paving. "It always has been and always probably will. Every dinner conversation starts the same, every text, every call and I understand why...But life isn't all about hockey."
"I don't..." Luke shook his head and looked towards his brothers for support. His softened and baffled voice filled your heart with a tinge of guilt, but your heart wasn't in control of your words, your mind's bitterness was the one with the reins. "I don't get why that's a problem..?"
"Because you don't realise how out of place it puts me." Your eyes burned with the vicious sting of unshed tears as you began to fall and stumble into a panicked ramble. "And I know I've never said anything about it, but do you know how much of a black sheep I feel like? I mean I chose to give up hockey, I chose to focus my mind elsewhere, so it really has nothing to do with you guys; but when it's constant hockey talk?... I have nothing to say. I have nothing to add, and I feel boxed in...I feel wrong, as if I was some faulty add-on you got landed with."
"You are not faulty, Y/N!" Your mom cut in sharply, her eyes now tinged with sadness.
"Two hundred and three," You bypassed your mom's saddened gaze as you focused on your brothers.
“What?" Jack shrivelled his nose as you spoke.
"Two hundred and three games, ceremonies, and hockey-related events I have attended in order to support you." You explain, whilst your eyes darted from brother to brother. "To support all of you and those are only the ones I can remember."
"Y/N, angel…”
Your dad's calming attempt to soothe you permeated your ramble and only filled you with an indescribable rage.
Always "angel".
Always a goddamn angel.
"Six." You continued, your fists clenched so tightly that the bite of your fingernails embedded deep into your palms. "Six times in my life, you three have managed to make it to an event of mine or ceremony. It goes down to two if you only include events, where all three of you were in attendance."
"The truth is no matter how much I convince myself I'm not an outsider, no matter how much I succeed in life and have every glory at my fingertips, it'll never be enough. No matter the circumstances, people will always find a way to undermine my success to boast about yours. How unfair is that?”
The tears, now unstoppable, rolled down your heated cheeks, leaving a wet trail as your family watched and listened to your cracking voice.
"Every big milestone in my life people twisted it to frame you guys in the foreground. All I wanted was to be great– be so great that, for once, people could separate me from a crowd without it being about my brothers. For years, I got the highest grades, worked locally, tutored, volunteered, and yet my only legacy will be that I have three older brothers whom, to everyone else, I will never measure up to."
"So, after years of trying to ignore the truth and deny it, I realised that there's no possible way I'll ever amount to the Hughes name, I'll never be great and I'll never be able to be like you. And it's...it's a terrifying thought to know you were intended for greatness but destined to fail."
Your tears blurred your vision as a heavy stillness settled over the Hughes family dinner table. Another second passed before regret crashed into your very being and settled amongst the chaos. Your hand flew to your mouth once you'd finished talking, the complete reality of what had happened hitting you full force as your body shook in adrenaline.
"I...I'm," Your horrified eyes scanned the table before you jumped to your feet. "I'm sorry...I'm really...the food was really good, Mom, but I'm, uh...not really hungry anymore." And before anyone could protest you scrambled out of the room, leaving your family to watch you flee.
Anyway, let me know what you think…also part 2 might be coming 🙏
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elizais · 3 months
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being the 'it' couple of the port mafia
chuuya x fem!reader warnings: dog divider by animatedglittergraphics-n-more on tumblr hahahah i love this divider
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being the girlfriend of the strongest ability user in the world and a mafia executive had perks. for sure. even more so if you're in the port mafia too!!
yeah, there were other young and dumb couples in the port mafia but you and mr. nakahara are the couple. the older members of the mafia tend to forget you are both in your early twenties too.
it wasn't just your expensive taste that made the others admire your relationship. yes everyone wished they had too much money to handle, yet it was more the way you treated eachother.
everyone knew of you dating him because of how proudly he would brag about you. koyo hearing most of it, how you went on a date to japan's finest restaurant.. picking out future dog names.. choosing dresses and suits for each other.. everything!
not just koyo heard it though, everyone knew of your relationship since before you both even knew you liked each other. celebratory parties had the two of you talking a lot more than usual, how both of you would go to mori without the other knowing to ask to be partnered for a mission, how you both had nicknames for one another before confessing..
everyone had seen it but the two of you!
but despite all of this, everyone commended the way you were private - but not a secret. yes, everyone could tell that your lipstick was smudged slightly on the side of your mouth, and his hat was slightly askew at the end of the day. but, you didn't tell the whole world about any bickering.
but, word spread like a wildfire when some poor soul had to confess to a mistake in paperwork to chuuya. the man walked into chuuya's office and saw framed photos of the two of you along the executive's desk. instantly reporting back to his colleagues, who then told others..
everything was confirmed when chuuya was hours late to be back from a dangerous mission and you snapped at mori out of stress. mori slyly remarking "i'm sure your boyfriend is fine. don't lose your temper."
and within the hour, everyone knew. executives even scolding their subordinates for gossiping like high schoolers.
after that day, seeing the two of you go to the other's office during breaks, holding hands under the table or sending loving looks to the other was not anything abnormal.
chuuya already cared about others but had a temper, so to soften the blow of whatever mistake someone had made they would bring you into the room with them..
all in all, your relationship helped everyone - aside from the teasing from a former mafia executive. but other than that? happy days!
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slutsmut-racha · 7 months
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Movie Night w/ 3RACHA
pairing: polyamorous relationship with afab!reader and 3RACHA
word count: 4.2k
genre: smut, fluff
warnings: afab!reader but gender neutral terms used; polyamorous relationship; anal; oral (m and f receiving); fingering (pussy and ass); ass smacking; clit smacking; picture taken (with consent); hair pulling; pet names: baby, bunny, love; If I missed anything, please let me know!
note: This is my first writing on here. I've been daydreaming and making up stories all my life, but I'm new to writing them out. So this may be a little rough. Feedback is appreciated. This also means I'm still learning how to work tumblr, tags, lingo, etc. It's a bit of a full story with some fluffy fluff rather than just straight to smut and ending on smut.
please read: rules and related info
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You had picked a horror movie to watch that night. You, Binnie, and Han liked horror movies. Bang Chan was supposed to be in the studio late to finish tracks, so you didn’t have to worry about him and his aversion to scary movies.
Hyunjin was at the other dorm tonight, hanging out with the maknaes and LeeKnow.
Sitting on the couch with Changbin on one side and Jisung on the other, lights off, you were enjoying the movie. You were a quarter of the way through it when Chan came home. Han jumped at the sound of him coming in, already affected by the movie. Binnie smirked and you laughed.
“Ah, man. A scary movie? Really?” Chan groaned when he saw what was on the TV.
“Sorry, hyung, you weren’t supposed to be home,” Han replied.
“Do you want us to change it” you asked him.
“NooooOOooOoOOoooo!!” Changbin instantly whined. “I never get to watch horror movies with you because of him,” he pouted.
Bang Chan chuckled. “It’s fine. I just won’t pay attention to it.” He came over and lifted you off the couch and sat where you just were and plopped you down in his lap. “I’ll just pay attention to you,” he said, moving your hair aside and kissing your neck.
“Fine by me,” you smirked. You weren’t going to complain. Your 3 favorite men all on the couch with you, just the 4 of you at their place. No other members or staff around. These moments were rare.
“AH!” Han exclaimed at a jump scare. You couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re a psycho, you know that? How can you laugh at these things?” he pouted.
“Awe, I’m sorry, baby,” you said, running your fingers through his hair. “Would you rather I get scared and cower in your arms?”
“Yes,” he said indignantly.
“You’re cute,” you chuckled at his annoyance.
“I’m not cute,” he scowled. “I’m your protector,” he huffed.
“I’m going to get some popcorn,” Chan said, rolling his eyes at Jisung. He kissed your shoulder and smacked your ass as he lifted you up so he could stand.
“Okay, okay, protector,” you said as you sat back down. You leaned back against Han who wrapped his arm around your waist. “You can be my big, bad protector.” You turned to kiss his cheek and he grinned.
“Good. That’s all I want.” He kissed the top of your head as you laid it back against his shoulder.
Changbin laid a hand on your thigh closest to him and rubbed it up and down, kneading here and there. Chan came back with his popcorn, shirt already gone like he prefers, and sat in the rotating armchair, turning it from the TV, and started scrolling through his phone. He didn’t want to go to his room, he wanted to be out here with you three. But he did what he could to avoid the movie all the same.
Han was pulling you closer, kneading your hip, your tummy, occasionally your breast. He was working you up and you were sure he knew it. Every touch, every squeeze, just made your arousal grow. You squeezed your thighs together in your mini skirt. Changbin smirked, knowing why with his hand still on one of them. He grabbed your knee and pulled your leg over his lap, spreading your legs.
You pursed your lips but said nothing. You weren’t going to give in to them so easily. They liked it a little bit when you made them work for it. It was hard sometimes though. It was easier to hold out and tease them when it was just one on one. Even 2 on one, although harder, was still doable. But 3 on 1? You would be putty in their hands almost instantly. You always had trouble keeping control when they all 3 teamed up on you.
The next scare in the movie was the first big scare and it had Han diving face first into your lap. You definitely laughed that time as you pet his head and ran your fingers through his hair. He wasn’t moving though. You thought it must have really scared him and you cooed “oh, my poor baby.” But really he wasn’t moving because he was nose first in your lap. He could smell your arousal. Your skirt had ridden up your thighs when Binnie had spread your legs, exposing your panties. It was dark, but illuminated by the TV Han could definitely see a spot on your underwear that was darker than the rest, the spot where you had soaked through your panties because of them.
Han moved his head just slightly, just enough to give him a better angle, and then you felt his tongue run across you on that wet spot.
“Oh!” you exclaimed, not expecting it. Han groaned. He could taste you on that spot, he could feel the heat on his face coming from your core, he could tell just how wet you were, and he loved it.
Han moved to kneel before you on the couch.
“Ji!” you laughed. “We’re not even halfway through the movie!”
You tried to close your legs, but Changbin held on to your leg over his lap, kneading your inner thigh with both hands. “Relax, bunny. Let Hannie take care of you,” he said. You looked over at him. He kept his eyes on your face. You could tell he was enjoying this. He loved it when you got worked up in their hands. His, Han’s, Chan’s, whichever of the 3 of them. He just loved watching your face as you moaned and panted under them, eyes rolling back into your head, hands gripping… whatever they could find as you came apart completely.
You looked over at Channie. He wasn’t looking at his phone anymore. “Go ahead, love. How long has it been? We’ve been busy a lot lately, we haven’t had any alone time together. Let him.”
You looked at Han next. His big, round eyes looking up at you from where he was on the floor. He didn’t say anything, but you could tell he wanted this so much. You nodded and he grinned as he dove in, face first.
He didn’t remove your panties yet. He just licked and sucked at your clit through the wet spot until all he could taste was the cotton fabric. Then he went to remove your panties, Changbin releasing your leg so he could. He left your skirt on and Bin took your leg back the moment your underwear was off.
Han licked from your core to your clit. He nipped your clit lightly, making your hips buck slightly, and inserted 2 fingers in you. He licked and sucked and nibbled your clit and finger fucked you until your back was arching off the couch and your thighs were trying to clench around his head and suffocate him. The only thing keeping his head safe was Binnie’s hold on one of your legs. You had your fingers in his hair, gripping and holding his face down while you ground up into it. “Ji- fuck- Ji please-” you moaned as he hummed against your clit. He didn’t let up until you had rode through your orgasm and slumped back onto the couch.
You closed your eyes, basking in the aftermath of Han’s mouth. “Not yet, baby, my baby,” Han squeezed your thigh. “Lay back against Binnie.” You did as told, head in Binnie’s lap.
Changbin smiled down at you. “Such a good little bunny,” he caressed your cheek.
Han came back a moment later (where did he go? you thought) with condom in hand, already rolling it down his dick, clothes gone. Ah, that’s where. You watched as he got in between your legs. He lined himself up and slowly pushed into you. You gasped at the fullness, eyes rolling back. Han groaned as he bottomed out. He didn’t wait long for you to adjust, instead pulling back and slamming into you.
It really had been a long time since you had this time with any of them, one-on-one or more. Han leaned forward and kissed you. You could taste yourself on him and you leaned up to get more, pushing your tongue into his mouth. Your hand found the back of his neck and you pulled him towards you more. He had one hand on the arm of the couch, over Changbin’s lap, keeping himself upright, and the other on your thigh as he held it over his hip. He could feel his knees slipping though and had to sit back up to regain his balance. You pouted as he moved away.
Changbin chuckled at your pout. “No worries, bunny. That just gives me access to this pretty pussy of yours,” he said as he reached over and started rubbing your clit.
“Ah- fuck… Binnie...”
You used your elbows to lift yourself up as far as you could, trying to get closer to Changbin’s face. You wanted to make out. He knew that. But he wouldn’t close the distance. “Can I help you with something?” he teased.
“Rude,” you muttered, rolling your eyes.
He smacked your clit. “What was that?” he asked sternly.
You spoke up louder so all 3 could definitely hear you. “I said you’re rude. Now fucking kiss me Binnie,” you demanded and Han laughed.
“Ah, go on Bin,” you heard Chan say. “Kiss y/n. Can’t you see how bad your little bunny needs it?”
You looked over at Chan. He had pulled his cock out and was stroking it slowly. He was hard, but he wasn’t in a rush to get off. He was saving that for you.
You moaned at the sight of him, the feeling of Han inside you, and Changbin’s fingers as they started rubbing again. You couldn’t look away from Chan. The tips of his ears and his chest were flushed as your attention was on him, but he had a cocky smirk all the same as he held your eye.
Changbin grabbed your chin and turned you to face him again. He leaned forward and closed the distance between you two finally. It was a tender kiss at first. He lightly bit your lip and your tongues crashed together softly. But as you reached another orgasm and moaned into his mouth it became more fervent. You had to break away, gasping for air.
You looked at Han and he leaned forward, kissing you like Binnie had just a moment ago. He was moaning and groaning into your mouth, his hips faltering as he came. Changbin rubbed your clit faster and applied a bit more pressure, making sure you finished through this orgasm too. Han pulled away from the kiss and leaned his forehead against yours, panting as he came down from his own orgasm.
Changbin had stopped rubbing your clit and was now squeezing your tit through your shirt, thumb rolling over your hardened nipple. You could tell he was getting impatient for his turn. You angled your head to tenderly kiss Jisung and tap his hip, signaling him to move before-
“Yah!” Changbin shouted from above you. “I want my bunny too!” He jokingly (not so jokingly) punched Han in the shoulder.
“OW!” Han shouted and you winced at how loud it was.
You heard Chan sigh from where he was. “No shouting or hitting each other while still on or in the significant other,” Chan scolded them.
“Oh, sorry my baby!” Han kissed down your neck and your chest in apology as he slowly removed himself from you. You hissed as you felt his cock slide out and you felt empty again.
“Yah! I’m so sorry bunny!” Changbin shouted as he stood up. You were forced forward as he did so and fell back on the couch after he had moved. He then grabbed your waist and forced you to stand up with him. He pulled you into a tight hug, crushing your face against him.
“Chang- bin-! Can’t- breathe-!” you forced out.
He eased up on his grip but only enough to lift your face to his and kiss you. He caressed your face with one hand and slid his other down to grip your ass, walking you over to the side of the couch. He turned you around to face the couch. He started teasing your shirt up as he kissed your neck.
“Bunny, can I take this off,” he asked, and you nodded in answer. He pulled your shirt off and went back to leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses on your neck as he caressed and squeezed your tits. You moaned as he lightly pinched your nipples between his fingers.
You turned back around to face him and tugged his shirt over his head. You ran your fingers down his chest and over his tummy. He shivered at your touch and you smiled at him. You slid your hand further down, caressing his bulging cock over his jeans. You kissed down his chest and went to get on your knees, but he grabbed your arms and pulled you back up.
“No, bunny. I want…” he started, hesitating. Suddenly he turned you back around and bent you forward over the arm of the couch. He flipped your skirt up and smacked your ass. “I want this pretty hole back here,” he said.
“Mmm, yes please, Binnie,” you said as you wiggled your ass.
“Stay still,” he commanded as he smacked your ass again. And then he was gone.
You looked over at Chan, stroking his cock, his focus still on you.
“Channie, come over here,” you pat the spot on the couch in front of you. He got up, never stopping his strokes, and came to sit where you asked him to. You leaned up from where you were still bent over and he met you halfway for a sloppy kiss, his tongue pushing into your mouth.
You heard Changbin return. You looked back as he rubbed your ass. He had lube and a condom. He slid a finger into your pussy, gathering slick. He brought his finger to your asshole and started teasing it. You held your breath, waiting for the intrusion.
“Relax, love,” Chan said as he caressed your face. You looked up at him and he gave you a reassuring smile. “Remember, just relax and it’ll go a lot smoother.”
Anal was new for you. Something you had only let these 3 men experience with you. And with such little time to actually do any of these acts, it had only been done a couple of times. But they were so good to you. They were gentle and coached you through it all, Channie being diligent to learn all he could to make it easiest on you.
You nodded and started taking slow, deep breaths.
“Do you still wanna do this,” Changbin asked from behind you.
“Yes,” you answered.
“Okay. Just breathe,” Changbin said and he slowly pushed his finger in.
Your breath hitched from the foreign and almost painful feeling.
“Breathe, baby, breathe,” Han soothed as he came to your side. He knelt down next to Changbin and lazily rubbed your clit and fingered your pussy to ease the tension in your body. Chan rubbed soothing circles on your back and Changbin pumped his finger in and out of your hole.
You continued your breathing exercises. Slow and deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth, you coached yourself. You felt your body relax and Changbin did too.
“Ready for another,” he asked.
You took a few more breathes and nodded.
“Y/n’s ready,” Chan told Changbin.
“Okay. Here we go,” he said as he pushed a second finger in, letting you adjust for a moment before moving in and out of you again.
This addition went in much easier. You were starting to whine from Han’s fingers and you rock your hips forward, trying to get more. Changbin smacked your ass in response.
“Yah! Stay still! I still have to get a third finger in you before you can take me,” he scolded.
“Well, then, hurry please! I’m ready for a third finger,” you wiggled your ass back towards him. The feelings had moved past somewhat painful and uncomfortable to more pleasurable. He squeezed your ass cheek with his free hand in response.
“Okay, bunny, okay. Here.” And with that you were stuffed with 3 fingers. You moaned as the 3rd one went in.
“More, Binnie. I need mooorre,” you moaned.
“More? You can’t take any more. I barely got these 3 in,” he teased.
“Bin- ooohh,” your own moaning cut you off as fingers pumped in and out of your pussy and your asshole at a faster pace. “Binniiieee!” you whined. “Your cock, I need your cock!”
“My cock? Is that what my bunny needs?” he teased.
“Yes! Please, Binnie baby?”
“Well, since my bunny asked so sweetly.” You felt him remove his fingers and then felt his tip press against you.
“Just remember to breathe, love,” Chan said as Changbin pushed his thick cock into your ass.
Your breath hitched again. He was a bit bigger than 3 fingers and there was a sting. He stopped moving to let you adjust.
“You okay, bunny?” Changbin asked, always concerned for you.
You waited a moment before answering, waiting until the sting had passed. “Yes, Binnie, I’m okay. Continue please.”
He slowly pushed more of himself in until he bottomed out. You moaned as he drew back and pushed in again. Han moved his fingers in time with Changbin.
“Fuck,” you heard Chan say and you looked up at him.
“Mmm?” you asked him, unable to actually use words.
“Look at you. You’re so fucking beautiful. Eyes glossy, pretty lips hanging open, tits bouncing. Can I take a picture?” he asked.
You nodded and pulled his phone out of his pocket, aiming it at you as the flash went off. He turned it around to show you and you laughed. You looked hot, just as he described you. But what got you was Changbin standing behind you, shirtless and biting his lip… and Han’s hand coming up from the side, throwing a peace sign.
“I want that picture, hyung,” you heard Han say.
“Later,” Chan replied as he tossed his phone down on the other side of the couch.
“M’ere,” you managed to get out between moans, looking up at Channie.
He scooted closer to you on the couch until his dick was under your head. You moved one hand to his thigh to use as leverage and keep yourself from falling face first into said dick and you used your other hand to spread Channie’s leaking precum up and down before taking him in your mouth. You took him as far as you could and used your hand to pump what you couldn’t reach.
Changbin had picked up his pace and you moaned around Chan’s cock every time Binnie thrust back into you. Chan gathered your hair in a makeshift ponytail so he could watch you.
“Fuck,” Chan grunted. “Hurry up, Bin. I’m gonna cum soon if y/n keeps sucking me like this and I don’t want to. I want to cum with that tight little pussy wrapped around my cock.”
Grunting was all you heard from Changbin as he thrust faster and harder in your tight asshole.
“Fuck. Yeah- yeah. I’m gonna cum. Fuuuck,” he whined as his hips stuttered and he came with a final thrust.
As Binnie came, you moaned around Chan’s cock again. You could feel more precum spurting out and Chan used his grip on your hair to pull you off of him. “I’m not coming unless it’s in your pussy,” he growled.
Changbin leaned over you and peppered kisses along your spine. “So good for Binnie. So good for us,” you heard him mumble.
“Come here,” Chan commanded. Bin slid out from behind you and Han, who had not stopped fingering you yet, finally removed his fingers from your pussy.
You stood up and moved in front of Chan. He slid his pants and boxers off and rolled on the condom that Han had tossed him. He leaned forward and put his hands on the back of your thighs, pulling you towards him. He undid the zipper on your skirt and helped you step out of it. He kissed your hips and across your pelvis and you ran your fingers through his hair. He sighed contentedly and pulled back, leaning back against the couch.
“Come here, love,” he commanded again, holding out his hand to give you support as you moved to straddle him. “You’re gonna be good and ride me, right?”
“Yes, Channie,” you said as you got situated.
“You’re so good to us. Isn’t y/n good to us, boys?” Chan asked the others, lining himself up with your entrance. You whimpered as you felt his tip push against you.
“Yes,” you heard them say in unison.
“My baby is the best baby,” Han added.
“That’s right,” Chan said as he roughly thrust up into you. You cried out, grabbing his shoulders to stop from toppling over and Chan gripped your hips tightly, his fingers digging in. “Y/n” *thrust* “is so” *thrust* “good” *thrust* “to us.” *thrust*
Chan moved your hips. “You said you were going to ride me, love, so ride.”
You did as you were told, rocking back and forth, up and down.
“Yeah, just like that,” Chan groaned as he threw his head back against the couch, exposing his neck. You leaned forward to kiss his neck, the tip of your tongue pressing against his flesh before your lips closed around it.
Chan moaned as you sucked on his neck. You had your boobs pressed firmly to his own chest and he could feel your nipples rubbing against him as you moved. He moved his hands from your hips to your tits, taking them in his big hands. You moved back so he could get to them easier and he took the opportunity to bring them to his mouth, encircling one nipple with his lips as he sucked and ran his tongue over it. He pinched the other between his fingers.
Now it was your turn to throw your head back as you moaned. You threaded your fingers through Chan’s hair, holding him against you.
Chan moved his mouth to your other nipple and moved his hand down to your cunt, rubbing your clit, pinching it lightly and then rubbing again.
“Fuuuck! Yes, Channie, just like thaaat! I’m so cloooosse!” you moaned.
Chan snaked his other hand around your neck and in your hair, removing his mouth from your nipple so he could pull you into a kiss. He leaned back against the couch, and you loomed over him as your tongues clashed together and you ground your pussy down on him. Both of your moans muffled by your lips, you held on to him, hands threaded in his soft hair.
“I’m gonna cum,” Chan mumbled against your lips as he worked your clit faster. “Cum with me, love.”
You nodded vigorously, lips never disconnecting.
Your body went rigid as you came, your hands tightening in Channie’s hair. Chan kept working your clit but moved his other hand from your hair to your hip to hold you steady as he thrust into you a couple of times, groaning into your mouth as he came.
Chan slowed his fingers on your clit as you came down. You leaned your forehead in the crook of his neck, your breathing coming back to normal. Chan rubbed circles on your thighs with his thumbs.
“Fuck, love. I’ve missed that.” Chan moved to pepper kisses along your collarbone, up your neck, along your jaw, and back to your lips. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you smile at him. You slide off of Chan and he groans from the stimulation. You turn around to find Changbin and Han back in joggers. Changbin greets you with a kiss and then kneels down in front of you with a wet washcloth. He’s gentle as he cleans you up. Once done, Han hands you an oversized t-shirt, it hangs down to your mid thighs. You stumble into him as you put it on, legs weak from the activities, and he laughs as he catches you.
“Baby, be careful,” he says before kissing you. You lean your head on his shoulder as he holds you for a few moments.
“Sit down, love. Stretch your legs out,” you hear Chan say from behind you. You turn to look at him and he’s back on the couch in joggers too. Han moves to sit next to him in the middle and Changbin sits on the far end. Chan opens his arms for you and you sit in his lap, legs stretched across over Han and Changbin. Changbin starts massaging your feet and Han’s absentmindedly drawing shapes on your thighs with his finger.
You turn your attention back to the movie. It’s last few scenes and the murderer is killing the pretty girl in daisy dukes.
“I knew she was going to die,” you comment.
“Psycho,” Han calls you again, making Changbin and Chan chuckle.
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glitterjay · 20 days
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lover boy — 양정원 YJW | pt.2
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genre: opposites attract, good boy!jungwon x popular!reader (fem) college au, semi smau, d!e/kys jokes
taglist: @hollyoongs @moon7jay @wondipity @defnotfertilizedtoesw @kwiwin @dimplewonie @wvnkoi @kissestojapan @ilovejungwonandhaechan @suhiiiies-blog
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DAY 1.
you had to admit you were excited to see what the week would bring for you. the reason why you called jungwon "lover boy" was because he did everything to get his crush to like him back. it was cute if you were being honest, but based on what had happened afterward, you felt like the person didn't deserve jungwon's efforts at all.
he said he'd change, and he's never shown interest in anyone romantically since you met him, let alone after hearing about his past experiences. of course, that happened when he was in high school, but you didn't think it would follow him all the way to his college life.
jungwon was always invested in his classes and work, never really showing his true colors to the world. you, on the other hand, managed to gain a reputation of your own in your field of study. how the two of you clicked so well is anyone's guess, but it was definitely one of the best friendships you had made thus far.
after your first class of the morning was over, you waited in your usual meeting spot for jungwon. it was quite rare for him to be there later than you, but you assumed he had fallen asleep in class or was probably with sunoo doing whatever. it had happened before.
you sat on the small bench under the tree that was just a few steps away. you sighed, stretching your arms a bit after a long, boring lecture. the people walking out of the building dwindled from many to just a few. it made you tilt your head, wondering why your friend wasn't out yet.
suddenly, a pair of hands covered your eyes. it startled you at first, but the cologne that reached your nose gave away the identity of the person behind you.
"jungwon?"
"thats right," he replied.
he removed his hands from your eyes, swiftly placing them under your chin to tilt your head back. he smiled sheepishly, revealing his teeth. your head now rested on his stomach as he stood behind you, caressing your face with his hands.
"lunch is on me today, girlfriend."
his behavior was different from his usual self, but it matched his quiet and serene personality. your last boyfriend matched your crazy and extravagant character, but jungwon was much calmer.
you blushed at the way he had called you "girlfriend." it was different, and you had to admit you liked it. you sat up straight, giving your whole back to him.
"great! i didn't bring any money today, so i was going to ask you to pay anyway."
he knew you were lying, but he wouldn't admit that.
as you both began walking, you noticed how his hand hesitantly tried to grab yours. despite jungwon bringing up the challenge himself, it was cute to see him being nervous. you, being your bold self, took his hand in yours, smiling when his head instantly turned to look at your way.
"Couples hold hands. Isn't that right, boyfriend?"
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© glitterjay | tumblr
yup, you probably guessed it right. it will have 7 parts for each day of the week. feedback is very much appreciated, whether its a comment, a reblog, or an ask—anything helps!
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jeonsbabygirlsworld · 7 months
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LEASH PT 2
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SUMMARY: Mingyu always fantasied about you and now finally, Jungkook lets him have a taste but who knew this isn't a onetime thing and how you have them both wrapped around your pinky.
PAIRINGS: Jungkook X Mingyu X Reader
WORD COUNT: 2520
WARNINGS: ⚠️⚠️ contains cheating themes , smut, MDNI . Part 1 thank-you for all the notes love the way y’all supported this fic also this can be read as stand alone but part 1 is recommended
This part is the flashback of when they first started fucking and it comes back to present in last.
SMUT WARNINGS: Mingyu sees their sex tapes in Jungkook's phone that's what gets him whipped, Blowjobs , fingering, reader is called slut and whore, double penetration, sex tape, Haerin calls while mid fucking, Jealous gyu kook, that's all ig ? lmk if I miss anything.
A/n: Thank you to the sweetest person for requesting this I tried hard to fill up your requests <3 lmk if you like it. Tumblr works on reblog system please reblog !! Also a simple “it good or it’s great”can make my entire day 💞
Mingyu always wondered how your pussy would feel against his cock, Jungkook would never stop obsessing over your tight pussy you were a squirter, and you were into BDSM, you were also into food play, and you also had a breeding kink!
Today they both were hanging out near the basketball court when you texted Jungkook. “Hey Kook, you have a text from y/n” Mingyu informed while Jungkook was in the court practicing for the upcoming match.  
He throws the ball in the basket jogging over and sitting next to him. Mingyu choked on seeing the text.  
Baby❤️: sent a video ! A gift for you 💞
A low “fuck” is heard from Jungkook’s mouth lifting up his head to see Mingyu giving him a nervous grin.  
“Fuck Jungkook look at her” Mingyu almost curses at how beautiful your ass looks. “Dude back off you have a girlfriend already” Jungkook says almost instantly offing his phone. “Dude fuck her look,at her she is so messy” Mingyu babbled.  
“I know she just gets so dumb and tells me to make a mess over her pussy” Jungkook explained. Mingyu’s cock twitched at the sight “Kook Lemme get a taste, just one time and I’m going to back off” Mingyu begs.  
Jungkook thinks for a moment and shrugs off nodding his head “Cool bro jus once's Kay?” Jungkook says. Who knew this wasn’t going to be a one-time thing you three were up for the ride.  
A few days passed by, and Mingyu tried sneaking out but failed Harein constantly clinging to his side.  
It’s Jungkook’s basketball match he invited you to watch him play. Cheering for him you wore a small black skirt and a white tank top, clinging to Taehyung by your side. In mid-game, you don’t notice but Jungkook and Mingyu share a brief eye contact. His team wins while you go to the locker rooms finding him between the boys.  
“Hey, you did great today” You give him a peck, and the boys soon disperse leaving only you, Jungkook and Mingyu in the room “Yeah? Scored just for you baby” he chuckles his arms clutching around your waist while Mingyu walks behind you.  
Only to notice he is way too close to your ass, now you are sandwiched between both the bulky men. You hesitated to mutter a small “Mingyu?” You look at him turning to see him with your back now pressed against Jungkook.  
“Yes, baby?” He whispers softly his hands coming to grab your cheeks making them in a pouty manner. Jungkook whispers in your ear “Will you be good for him? He wants to have you too” getting a bit confused “Wasn’t he dating Harein already?” 
“Mingyu what about Harein?” You ask him while he scoffs “What about her, nobody’s going to know about this” He clears up while you hesitate for a bit and nod slowly inching towards his lips.  
“Mm gyu” you moan when he bites on your lower lip. “Let’s get out from here yeah?” You suggest that ,Mingyu said he would join you both in your house.  
You were in your panties only when Mingyu arrived. Your hard nipples and the wet spot on the panties made his cock stir in his sweat. You sat there with Jungkook's cock in your mouth groaning and moaning trying to take him completely.  
“Gyu come she was waiting for you, she got so slutty and told me she wanted you to remove her panties” Jungkook groans when you get down to suck on his balls, hallowing your cheeks when come at his tip. Mingyu chuckled while you got shy under his gaze.  
Jungkook walks away to give him space while you whine “Now Mingyu is here baby, let him see your pussy yeah baby?” Jungkook says helping you to lay back and sitting beside you palming his wet cock.  
Eagerly Mingyu reaches to slide those panties off your legs groaning at the site when a transparent string of your slick joins the panties throwing it towards Jungkook “Here kook cum on those make it messy” Mingyu says kneeling at the end of the bed.  
He looks up at you when he sees your hole clench around his fingers when he traces silly shapes on your pussy “Want it baby? I know I can see it. got me so fucking horny when you sent the your sex tape” Mingyu tells you his fingertips just below your hole.  
“Want it, need it, look I’m wet” You give him your puppy eyes your hands coming you grab at his wrist and insert his fingers. “Look Jungkook you got the best girl for yourself she gets her work done on her own, so tight,”He says looking over him and helping you with his mouth now closer spitting at your clit.  
The rubbing made it a bit swollen and puffy. The thrust of Mingyu’s long fingers made you twitch in your place. “You're so perfect baby I’m so fucking lucky to have you”Mingyu comes up and leaves some pecks on your lips.  
You look down to slightly smile “fuck don’t smile like that makes me fucking crazy” he groans “Gyu I want to cum”you whine looking at Jungkook wanting to hold his hands while Cumming.  
You soon reach your high knuckles white by grabbing the bed sheets tight. Mingyu stands tall in front of you telling you to turn around and go sit on Jungkook’s lap kissing his lips you mutter a small “hi”. While Mingyu undresses himself. 
Mingyu reached to grab the strawberry lube from the nightstand took an adequate amount and started rubbing all over his hard cock you turn around to see the leaky tip and the prominent veins.  
You turn around so quickly when Jungkook groans “fuck you Mingyu I had wrapped her around my finger and now she runs away”he complains while you whine wanting Mingyu’s heavy cock in your mouth.  
“Aw, such a cock deprived slut you are”He mocks while you take his lubed-up cock in your hand palming them while you sway your ass in the air signaling Jungkook to already fill you up. 
“You want me to fuck you while you have his cock in your mouth baby?” Jungkook gets on his knees real quick understanding you and you nod looking back.  
“Want it kook I’m already wet, see? You can slide in just right” you say going to suck on Mingyu’s balls while he is a moaning mess above you.  
“Of course, you are, going in yeah baby?” Jungkook warns slowly sliding his cock into your pussy lips, his red tip kissing your swollen clit and then sliding up your hole after a few teases.  
You grunt out a choked moan when you feel him already kissing your cervix with his hard cock. You lap at Mingyu’s hard cock when he is about to cum, he pushes you off his cock telling Kook he wants in too.  
Now the positions have been changed Jungkook laid on the bed with you on top of him with Mingyu above you. Jungkook’s slicked-up cock nestled between your pussy while Mingyu rubbed lube over your ass tracing his cock over the clenched muscle slowly inching his cock closer towards your asshole. 
  Jungkook growls grabbing your cheeks while Mingyu thrusts inside almost screaming at the tightness. you cried at the feeling of both of their cocks drilling your ass and pussy. That’s when Mingyu grabs at his phone recording how your ass is bouncing and how you were taking Jungkook’s cock too.  
“Kook she is our slut, aren’t your y/n?” Mingyu bends down kissing your shoulder blade your neck nestled in Jungkook's neck. “Yeah, your slut” you cried.  
They both thrust inside you at an animalistic pace “Get louder can your y/n?” Jungkook grits giving up a couple of taps on your cheeks “Mm Jungkook so good” you bawled feeling overwhelmed.  
You face jungkook speaking in between“Kook so good I think I’m going to squirt so fucking bad,”you said, your puffy clit bumping against his abs when Mingyu thrusts hard.  
“Ahh just do it baby, make a mess” he says. When you three were about to come a loud ringtone was heard it was Harein.  
Mingyu ignored it and focused on Cumming when he heard it ring for the third time “fuck you Harein” Mingyu growled slowing up his pace.  
“Why the hell are you calling me?” Mingyu says already pissed off by his orgasm snatched right under his nose. “I’ll be there in a few hours something came up”he says abruptly cutting off the phone and not hearing her blabbering.  
“Cum baby cum” Mingyu tells you soon Cumming inside you while Jungkook drains his load in your pussy you now collapse completely on top of Him panting heavily.  
“Fuck this was the best fuck I’ve ever had”Mingyu chuckled slowly removing himself while his cum dripping down your ass staining the sheets and some dropping in between your pussy and where Jungkook's balls were there.  
“Fuck gyu can feel it dripping down” you moan your arms clutching Jungkook's neck and you purred getting comfortable in his hold. While your ass hole clenched. “Drained me out baby,” Jungkook says petting your hair.  
This continued on for a while Mingyu came at every other chance he got, ditching on Haerin became an everyday thing for him. The sex was rough, messy and new kinks were added whenever you fucked.  
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Today was a bit different, you were busy with your studies when Mingyu comes barging in your apartment when he backed you away at the nearest wall kissing you, you sensed something must be wrong sucking on few purple hickeys on your neck he finally spoke “felt good whoring around with taehyung today?” he questioned. 
“Gyu what are you talking about we were just talking, there is nothing between me and Tae.” you answered your hands grabbing on his neck keeping him at one place “I fuck only you both alright? And you both are the best yeah Gyu?” you whispered in his ear.  
With that Mingyu lifts you off the ground you giggled your legs coming to wrap around his tiny waist. Soon you both made your way to your room . Your back was pressed against the bed he grabbed on your already hard nipples tugging them “no bra? Fuck so good” Mingyu moans his hard on rubbing at your core. 
“Fuck me already, can you? Been dying to have it, I know I'm wet enough” you say removing your cloths getting naked, “fuck alright” he stands up to his full height grabbing on his cloths and getting him naked as well.  
Thats when you heard Jungkook coming in your room. “Started already? Thought we agreed on getting off it together bro? Did she deny the fact she's seeing taehyung hm?i hope she knows he's nothing compared to us, and he should see he won't ever be able to compete with what we got here” Jungkook chuckles taking out his phone. While Mingyu speaks up “make a video yeah kook and sent it to tae, gonna let him know she is ours” Mingyu gets in his position his hard cock rubbing in between your soft dewy lips.  
A string of his pre cum attached to your lips when he pulls back to see in between you. Jungkook sits on the sofa recording you both.  “Fuck me already gyu” you whine your patience running out “yeah baby going in now” he tells you thrusting inside you. “This pussy has me whipped bro” Mingyu speaks in between looking at jungkook .
The room was filled with your crying and chocked up moans his cock hits you right at your g-spot, your clit begging for his fingers to rub on it. And he notices them right away giving you what you want Jungkook still recording you both. His hips shuttered when he was about to cum, “Gonna cum y/n”he warns when he fills you up with his hot cum.  
Jungkook gets a blowjob that night ending it with a soft aftercare session pampering you with an oil massage and your favorite food. It’s good to see your both boys getting jealous once in a while. You thought while silently smirking in your head.  
While having dinner you have a thought which the boys notice by your silence “speak up baby what's wrong” Jungkook heaves out “nothing kook I'm just worried what if tae shows the video to his friends his friends know Haerin really well” you finally speak up while Mingyu makes sure it's nothing to worry and They'll take care if something happens. 
TAGLIST : @jungk97kwife, @kimmingyuswifee , @httpjeonlicious , @meraofc
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lo1k-diamonds · 4 months
Text
SX Seoul Series | Jungkook Entry 💜 Bubbles (Part 2)
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PAIRING: Jungkook/Reader (You can also read it on AO3)
SUMMARY: You wake up the next morning and feelings you didn't want to stir are brought back to the surface. You think he might feel the same way but maybe you jumped to conclusions too soon.
WORD COUNT: 8.3k
GENRE: Exes to lovers, smuuuuuut, angst, making up
RATING: Explicit
WARNINGS: exes, explicit, unprotected sex (stay safe!), you guys fight and stuff gets punched and thrown around, lingering feelings, heartbreak, second chances
PARTS: [1] [2]
A.N. I wrote this story after a while of being unable to focus and write so I hope you enjoy it, I think it turned out fun :)
Masterlist | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs
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You woke up in the morning, yet despite the sun’s rays hitting the floor, you couldn't be certain. Were you truly waking up?
You sighed and pressed yourself further back into a welcoming chest. The sheets had a familiar scent, and this along with the tattooed arm enveloping you and the breath fanning your hair made you sure that you were still dreaming. You moved ever so slightly, you wanted to submerge deeper into that dream, and his legs tangled with yours even better as if to tell you you were not going anywhere. It melted you because it reminded you of so many mornings before. So many dawns and sunsets where you’d be tucked in safely inside those arms, with his hum near your ear, his perfume trickling your nose, and you took deep breaths. That was your safety net, the place you rushed to so you could recover, rest, and gain the courage to face the world.
It was enough for you to search for even more. You were sleepy, dreaming, and on the only fluffy cloud in the sky where you wanted to be. So you turned under his arm to face him and your heart instantly trembled. His eyes were closed, but the soft lines of his face were the sweetest thing you had ever seen. You missed those pouty lips, that round cutesy nose, and the swell of those cheeks you used to tease all the time and that made you fall in love whenever delicate dimples would crease. His eyebrows had always been so expressive and now one had a piercing, which didn’t match the two rings adorning his lower lip except that he pierced the same side of his face. But even that didn’t surprise you; when you first met, he said he always wanted to do something, but didn’t know exactly what. You guessed he had figured it out.
You reached to brush his hair aside and felt the two studs on his eyebrow with a feather-like touch — you liked it. You liked everything about him, always had. You knew then your heart was getting loud and you smirked when it became deafening — because he opened his eyes. And in that moment, you decided that reality would only come knocking if you let it. You could pretend it didn’t exist. You could pretend Jungkook was still yours, that he didn’t hate you, that you belonged in his arms again.
You leaned in to nuzzle him and gave him a moment to move away. You were clear — you wanted to go on that ride again and forget everything else, but what about him?
He brushed his nose to yours once and captured your lips with a kiss that fluttered your heart. It wasn’t desperate or crude, it was gentle and warm like when two lovers said good morning. And that was all you needed.
You snuggled closer, embracing him and stretching and sighing in multiple turns. He returned your kiss and held you close, equally invested in that moment with you, away from any pain, anger, or subterfuge. This made you smile, contentment radiating from every corner of you, and it was as if you were in an alternate dimension. You could feel his love again and adore him back and you wanted to make the best of it.
Maybe it seemed against your better judgment, but you broke your kiss with a mischievous smile and turned your back on him. You pulled his arm firmer around you, in case he had silly ideas, and rubbed your ass on his crotch for good measure. The Jungkook you knew didn’t need any explanations or instructions, and indeed, he grabbed you close, grinding his hardening dick on your ass while breathing in the scent of your skin.
His hand came to cup your breast gently and you grinned, feeling elated with the way he was all over you. When he started playing with your nipple to harden it, you bit your lower lip and failed to contain your whimpers. He knew you were sensitive but it never stopped him before.
He started biting and licking down your neck and you were covered in goosebumps, arching your back to give him better access. He kept his sweet torture, but that wasn’t enough for you — you reached between your legs to grab his hard cock behind you and pull it to be squished between your thighs when you closed them. Then you rocked your hips and melted at the groan behind you.
“That’s it,” you cooed in a whisper, clenching around nothing in anticipation. “You’re so hard for me.”
You knew he loved to be coaxed, the same way you loved to tell him how good he felt. He wasn’t stopping, nibbling down your skin and pinching your nipple gently as he rutted you and you bit your lip.
“And I’m so ready for you,” you sighed. “Wont you check?”
Your tone was needy but you never bothered hiding it. His hand travelled from your chest to your core and instantly felt how you were dripping from your folds.
You whimpered, “See how you slide so well?” You meant at the surface, but his fingers sank into your flesh, pumping wet sounds out of you along with needy moans. “Fuck— You know where to go. You’ll feel so good, I promise.”
You felt his smile on your skin as he busied himself pumping you with two digits and getting juicy noises out of you. You moaned onto the pillow, rocking your hips to feel him better both inside you and in between your legs. You loved those sensations, not just the pleasure, but the scent reaching your nose because you were in his bed. You were living a dream and it was absolutely perfect.
His hand grabbed your hip, knowing well you were leaning forward and tilting your ass so he’d eventually slip inside you. The way he was making you crazy for it didn’t elude you, but you were never beyond begging.
“Fuck, baby. Please let me have you, please.”
He froze and you squirmed to feel him, thinking that was him just making you work harder for him.
He moved quickly enough that you didn’t think beyond it — he reached behind him inside a nightstand drawer and got something. You heard the wrap tearing and waited until he was ready. You didn’t let a single thought cross your mind, not now.
He grabbed your hip again and this time his cock pushed between your folds to get inside you, making you moan and lose all strength. He rocked his hips into yours and you gasped, leaning back. You didn’t expect him to grab your hair and arch you further, but you definitely tensed more around him, barely able to catch your breath.
“Fuck— Fuck, I love it when you do this.”
You could feel his breath down your neck. “Yeah? Love it whenever a guy fucks you like this?”
“No, only you.” Your reply was as natural as breathing, giving him all you had. “Always only you.” You were burning inside out, feeling flush not only on your cheeks but also on your chest, hands, and stomach. You reached to grip his arm supporting your hip in place; you were starting to get sweaty but you doubted he minded. You were just looking for more ways to connect with him. “Are you going to tease me? Make me a good girl for you? I always loved to be good so I could earn you filling me up completely.”
His hips jerked off tempo and you only sighed. He remembered for sure what you were talking about.
His fingers dug at your skin, “Yeah? How many times have you begged for a guy’s cum after that?”
“Never. You’re the only one I ever begged to, the only cum I ever wanted. The only raw cock inside me, the only—”
He stopped and pushed you by the shoulder to face him. You were a bit startled but faced him with all the vulnerability you had been showing so far. His eyes were glistening, almost hurt, and your breath shook. You didn’t want that reality, the one in which you hurt him. You wanted to be back a year before when everything was good and sweet.
His eyes were watering up and he looked down. You thought he was running away from you and you were desperate for him to stay, and you looked down too. Before you could speak, you noticed he had his hand around the base of his cock, just frozen like that.
You teared up, “Do it.”
He looked up at you and you saw tears in his eyes as well. 
You smiled, “I never had anyone other than you raw. If you want to, I’d love to feel you again.”
He didn’t even blink. You were certain it was an impulse as you saw him pull the condom out and guide himself inside you as if he were a dying man and your core was his salvation. But as you both groaned and closed your eyes with the feeling of being connected again, you couldn’t care. You looked at him with a tear sliding down your face into the pillow and knew that it would all just break your heart in the end.
He must have known it too, because his eyes were glistening and red as he thrust into you at a slower pace. You instantly wanted to beg, but he gripped you closer, jerking his hips into you in a hard yet loving way that melted you to the bone.
“Fuck,” you dragged, trying to look up so you could see him above your legs still bent to the side like when you were spooning. You could feel him all over you again, inside and out in ways that felt like your souls were merging and it had you enter that beautiful reverie. You gripped his arm harder and forced his hand on your chest to squeeze as you moved with him. “Don’t stop. Please, please, please,” you said with every moan, scared that he would pull away and leave you. “Only you feel like this, please.”
“Only me?”
He was breathless, you almost didn’t hear him over your prayers. “Only you,” you confirmed, then you trembled and the words dripped out of your mouth. “I’ve missed you so much. So much,” your voice smothered with anxiety, with the tears flowing from your eyes that you squinted shut.
You didn’t fear that he would reject you or mock you or ignore you, you weren’t thinking. Your heart was hurting and you couldn’t keep it in anymore.
He slowed down and you hid your face under your hands, immediately wanting to ask him not to stop when you felt his breath near your ear.
“Me too. I’ve missed you too, bubbles.” His voice was wavering as he reached to kiss every inch of skin in range, soon after releasing his hand from your grasp only to grab it back and bring it to his lips. “I’ve missed everything. I’ve missed this.”
A sob almost silenced you, but you managed to call for him first, “Kook.”
It was a desperate sound you were almost ashamed to let out, so your hands instantly covered your face again. 
He stopped and in a second was pulling your leg under him so he could get on top of you in between your legs and hold you tightly. He leaned down to kiss your hands away as his hips rocked into you gently.
His lips and calls convinced you to uncover your face only to wrap your arms around him and hide in his neck, “I miss you!” You whispered with a lump in your throat. “Please.”
He kissed your red and wet cheeks, down to the salty traces that led into your hairline, “I miss you too.”
Shivers ran down your body as his words emerged a knot of feelings from inside your chest. You were never able to face it, to deal with it, to forgive him or yourself, but his words. The way he was with you, holding you close just like he used to when he loved you. His body was fully connected to yours, maybe even his soul.
You sank your nails onto his back and focused on his weight on you, his soft skin, his scent, and the burning tension in your lower stomach. You knew you would explode soon but you needed to let it out.
“I wanted to see you.”
He kissed your head, “I’m here.”
“I needed to see you,” you tried, but the pleasure sparking inside you was about to steal that chance. So you hugged him closer — a moan was pushed out of you and you could feel your orgasm starting, but you still chirped, “I love—”
You couldn’t finish as you started shaking uncontrollably from the waves of pleasure tensing and relaxing every muscle in your body. You clung on to him, squeezing him so tightly you were surprised he didn’t didn’t break apart. But maybe he didn’t for the same reason as you — he was holding you together.
He waited for you to be done before pulling out and coming over your belly. He didn’t bother separating your bodies and just groaned near your ear as you hugged him close. You could feel the warm substance trickling down the sides of your stomach but you didn’t care. You were never one to be bothered, you were not disgusted by him in the slightest.
He kissed your head and you smiled, waiting and longing for his kiss to travel to your cheeks, then further to your mouth. You tried to control your happiness and kiss him back placatingly, still letting that joy reach corners of you that were dim otherwise.
When he pulled away, you had no idea what would happen, but you were at ease. Because you opened up to him and he missed you back, and even though you weren’t able to tell him properly that you still loved him, you’d surely have another opportunity soon.
That was what you thought and the reason your lips were curved, even when he got away from you to grab wipes so he could clean you. Yet as he did, you noticed he wasn’t looking at you. His jaw was hardening and he didn’t look nearly half as relaxed as you did.
Shit.
He wasn’t done yet when you tried to reach for his hand, but he dodged you and threw the wipe away before putting his legs out of the bed to sit with his back to you. You started shaking.
“Not to ruin your post-nut clarity, but I’d like to talk.”
You chuckled nervously and fumbled with the sheet — everything you said felt risky, and every step you took felt like the ice under you would crack. You feared speaking too soon but couldn’t risk doing it too late. You let those fears drown you once, but not again. At least this time your mistake would be insisting, not letting it slide.
“Nothing to talk about.”
You knew from his tone that he was about to push you away and it made you react. “That’s not true. I said I miss you, and you said it back.”
He didn’t answer; all you could see were his wide shoulders as he leaned forward, supported on his knees, and kept quiet.
You gave him the chance to speak his mind because maybe he needed time and who knew, maybe you did too. But you couldn’t think as you waited, you had no idea what to say. Nothing felt enough, but you wanted to say everything.
He heaved a deep breath and moved a millimeter to get up, and you immediately pushed. “Answer me. Talk to me. Why can’t we have a conversation?”
He scoffed, “That’s rich coming from you.”
You sat up as he got up and searched for clothes in a nearby closet. “It goes both ways.” 
You bit your tongue and cursed yourself for reacting instead of thinking first — you didn’t want to fight, you wanted to talk. 
You took a deep breath and spoke while he put a pair of boxers on, “Do you miss me?”
He scoffed and left the room and you jumped off the bed after him. You could only grab the nearest tee shirt you saw, black as everything else he owned, and scurried after him.
“Answer me,” you insisted, seeing him in the living room putting pants on. Where did those even come from? “Fucking hell, Jungkook, just answer me!”
“What?!” He exploded, anger brazen on his features, but you didn’t step back.
“Do you really miss me?”
“No.”
You raised your chin and tried to not give away how your heart was cracking further. You couldn’t think or you’d start crying. “Well, fuck you too.” Your voice still wavered, “Don’t fucking lie next time.”
You turned to reach the bathroom and get your clothes so you could leave. Your heart was pulsating with sharp pain and you knew you were seconds away from crying. You needed to get out. Now.
“You’re assuming I—”
“Yeah yeah, no seconds,” you spat bitterly, unsure if he heard you. He shut up, so he did. You grabbed your clothes, “You don’t have to worry about that.”
A sudden noise from behind you startled you so before you could strip, you turned around — he had kicked the bathroom door with so much strength you thought it might have popped off.
“What the fuck do you want from me?!”
“How many times do I have to say it? A fucking conversation!”
“I have nothing to say to you!”
“Fine! You’ll lie anyway!”
You turned your back to him, letting the poisonous anger burn your guts while you got a hang of your dress so you could put it on.
When a loud noise came from the door again, you weren’t even surprised. This time, he punched it and something metal hopped over the floor and rolled away.
“As if you didn’t say those things in the spur of the moment!”
“I didn’t.” Tears ran down your face and you cleaned them quickly, refusing to let the cry take over you. “I meant every word I said.”
“Bullshit,” his voice had so much contempt you almost broke down.
“I don’t care what you believe,” was all you said, then took the tee off. “Just because you lied doesn’t mean I did.”
He saw how your back bent and tensed while you put your strapless bra on. He was shaking in anger but he heard you sniffle and you didn’t sound like you were mocking him. He couldn’t handle it if it was true.
“Don’t joke around—”
“I’m not fucking joking.” You sounded angry now and you grabbed your dress to put it on. He clenched his fists. “But it doesn’t matter, it’s done.”
You put your strapless dress back on, adjusting it so it would cover you as much as possible. You had no way of seeing how angry he was getting at the sight of you wearing that again instead of his clothes, but it was something he would never admit.
“You want me to believe you wanted to see me?”
His voice was derisive and you turned to him. “I did.”
“That you needed to see me?”
He scoffed and you grabbed your heels on the floor. “I did.”
You turned back to him, thinking that maybe now you could actually talk, but he was shaking his head. You saw tears in his eyes before he started laughing and rubbing his face.
“It’s funny, is it?” You asked, filled with contempt yourself. “Why, you didn’t even hit the punchline yet.”
He uncovered his face and his whole expression was a warning.
“What?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. “If you’re going to mock me then at least do it well.”
His jawline was tensing again but you couldn’t care anymore.
“Come on, where’s the final question? You heard me. You would be running your mouth if you didn’t.” You scoffed, “Though I couldn’t really say it properly, but—”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
For a second you thought he was scared, but you only smirked, “I don’t? You know what? You’re right. Congratulations, you’re right about something and all you had to do was be an asshole.” You stepped towards him to get out but he didn’t move out of the way. “Let me go.”
He shook his head and you ignored all kinds of emotions on his face.
You pushed him, but he didn’t move. “Let me go.”
“No.”
You pushed his shoulders again, but he didn’t budge. You clenched your jaw, upset, and saw that it didn’t bother him in the slightest. In fact, maybe he liked it. You pushed him once more and he tried grabbing your arms, and you struggled.
He won — he grabbed your forearms, “What did you say?” You scoffed and he pulled you closer. “Tell me what was I supposed to have heard?”
“I said I—” 
You were ready to spit it in his face but your throat blocked as you looked into his eyes. You were both angry and hurt, and you thought you were above it, but you weren’t. If you said it again, it would hurt infinitely more. But then it hit you — he just used you. He was attracted to you and wanted an easy fuck, and that was what that night was. You were hung up on him like a moron.
Your eyes teared up but you made a decision — it would be easier if he just crushed your heart right now.
“I said I love you.”
He released his hold on you instantly as if you burned and you scoffed. You guessed you did — this Jungkook in front of you clearly couldn’t handle something like that. He was a fuckboy now.
You pushed him again and he didn’t resist, falling to the side and letting you pass. You started looking around — you couldn’t recall where you had thrown your purse.
“I said don’t joke around.”
His voice was barely above a whisper and you didn’t stop. You were throwing sofa pillows around, “And I said I’m not joking. And I don’t lie either, contrary to you.”
“You have no idea what you’re saying.”
You pulled your hair back with a sigh; it wasn’t on the couch. “You’re starting to sound like a broken record.” You continued looking around, maybe in the kitchen? “What does it matter anyway? I get it — why you lied. I was being emotional and you wanted an easy fuck.” You huffed; not there either. “You got it, so you want me to leave now, right? Don’t worry, I want to, I just can’t find—”
He roared and punched something that made the coat hanger fall to the floor. “You talk and talk and talk but you still don’t know what you’re fucking saying!”
You got over your shock quickly and threw your shoes on the floor, “It would help if you fucking talked instead of breaking the place!”
“I can’t fucking talk when you’re driving me insane!”
You scoffed, “Me? Maybe you are just insane.”
He stepped to you with a dangerous look, “Watch your mouth.”
“Why? What will you do?” You rolled your eyes when he only took a deep breath in response. When you looked back at him he was closer and you instantly tensed up, and not in a bad way. He was eying you in that way that had you crazy needy but you stood your ground. “You’re not touching me again.” Your lips pulled in contempt, “Not like you want to. No sloppy seconds, right? So surely no thirds or fourths or—”
He stepped forward, ready to grab you, and you gave him your most disgusted piercing look.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t look at me, don’t even think about using me again.”
You were out of breath, spitting venomous words while your eyes were locked, but in an instant, something wet dripped down your cheeks. You breathed, and instantly you recognized the pain searing your heart. It hurt. It hurt too much.
Your sob had you sucking breaths anxiously and you gave him your back. You didn’t want him to see how much it hurt you.
“I’d never use you.”
“Then why am I here?”
“Because—” He heaved a deep breath. It was complicated and he was so conflicted he wanted to punch something again. But seeing your shoulders move as you contained your sobs, his mind cleared. “Because I wanted to be with you.”
“Right,” you chuckled despite the tears. “Wasn’t fucking in a dark alley enough? Why did you bring me here?”
“To be with you.”
“Say it properly. To fuck.” He didn’t answer and you sucked in a deep breath, “Or maybe… maybe something worse. Not just to use me, did you want to hurt me? Is this some sort of… vengeance or—?”
“No!” He raised his arms to your shoulders but he didn’t touch you. You didn’t want him to.
You grinned but it was painful, “Lying again? Fuck, I never knew you like this.”
“I’m not lying.” 
“Bullshit,” you almost laughed despite your crying and sniffling.
“It’s the truth.”
“Why should I believe you?”
He gritted his teeth behind you and gripped his hair in frustration. He was never the best at saying things, he always showed you better. He wished he could turn you around and get that stupid dress off you so he could cover you in his tee shirt again. He wished he could kiss your tears and hold you again like there wasn’t a mountain between you. He wished he could have you lying on his bed again saying those sweet things that shook him to his very core. He wished he could see your smile again as you drank your honey oat milk latte just the way you liked it because he made it for you. Fuck, he wanted that and so much more, but none of it would happen. He still hated you.
“Give me one good reason why you even talked to me back at the club,” you asked, more poised now that you had calmed your sobs and cleaned your cheeks. You turned to face him and he looked almost like he was in pain, but you only blinked your wet lashes. Your nose, eyes, and cheeks were still red but he knew you were crying, there was no point in hiding it.
“You looked beautiful.”
You scoffed, “Right… Beautiful enough to fuck easy, ri—?”
“Stop saying that!” Your assumptions were driving him crazy, but you were persistent.
“Why? Cause you can’t handle the truth?”
“Cause it’s fucking bullshit!” He smacked his fist on his palm, then opened both as if he could shake you to your senses, “You think fucking you is easy? You think wanting you and bringing you here was fucking easy? I gave in! I saw you, you said those things, and I had to have you!”
“You didn’t have to bring me here.”
“No, I didn’t!” He agreed with you and it made him swallow and take a breath from his shouting. “I did it for my own selfish reasons.”
“And what were those? If not to use me, not to hurt me or exact some sort of vengeance,” you enumerated with your fingers perhaps a bit pettily, but you wanted to understand. However, he didn’t seem interested in sharing — he had turned his back on you and stepped away to have space. “Then what for?”
He grunted and rubbed his face harshly before turning to face you, “Why do you complicate everything? I answered you already — to be with you. That’s all.”
You frowned and puffed; for some reason that answer just left you even more unsettled. “That doesn’t make any sense.” He threw his hands in the air and you insisted, “You wanted to be with me? Then why not let me finish blowing you?”
He scoffed and shook his head, “Thought you would have figured it out by now.”
Your frown deepened in anger, but it hit you. “Because… you didn’t want to use me?” His only response was a twitch of his eyebrows. “Then why not let me cum? When you ate me?”
He puffed a breath as his nostrils flared, but he still answered you, “Cause I was pissed.”
“Why?”
“Why?!” Your question made it worse. “Cause you spoke to me like I was nobody!”
Your chin dropped, “What?”
“You spoke like it could have been anyone else eating you and making you crazy and it made me want to tear you apart!”
You were shocked, just looking at him, and it infuriated him even more. He tried his best to keep his cool as he paced the living room — why were you making him feel inadequate? Like he was blowing something out of proportion when it meant so much to him?
“That's— I don't get it,” you tried, confused. “I wanted you to know how good you felt—”
“You called me baby!”
He was shouting again and you blinked, “So?”
“So?!” He kicked the back of his couch. “The most fucking generic term I’ve ever heard! Do you know how many people have called me that? Made me despise them every time!”
“But I've called you that before,” you pointed out, still confused. It was one of your nicknames for each other.
“You called me something else.”
His tone was suddenly sober and you instantly knew what he meant. “Kook.”
“Yes.”
He wouldn’t tell you how much he was hung up on it. He wouldn’t let anyone else call him that, he kicked out any women who tried, and just hearing it from your mouth now gave him goosebumps. It was who he was to you, who he wished he had been for his whole life.
You were just looking at each other while you recalled calling him ‘baby’ in the heat of your shared moments. You never meant it in a general way, you meant it endearingly. But you had called him ‘Kook’ earlier, and remembering it twisted your guts. You sighed and rubbed your eyes for a second — you had decided to crush your heart then and there. You weren’t leaving his place without bloodshed so there was no point in hiding.
“I was scared of calling you that,” you admitted, facing him again despite your fears. “I was scared of exposing myself like that.”
“Well, I did,” his grin was a sneer, but you couldn’t understand. Why would what you called him hurt him if he didn’t care? “So that was like a punch to my gut. Or maybe… maybe you didn't even notice that I—”
“Of course, I fucking noticed,” you blurted out, something akin to desperation on your features. “I noticed and it made me completely lose my mind!”
He leaned forward, gripping the couch’s back, “Not enough to expose yourself to me.”
“I was scared! You still hate me, I was—” Your own words hit you in realization, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “I was scared.”
He scoffed, “Scared of what?”
“You know what,” you answered, uneasy.
“I do. See why you have no idea what you’re saying? You just blab and assume shit,” he gripped the leather couch and you thought for a moment he could have thrown it around if he wanted to. “The difference between you and me is that I knew who I was choosing.” His features hardened and you fought the urge to look small. “You said you wanted to do this and I took you.”
Your eyebrows twitched, “You’re trying to say I didn’t? Please,” you rolled your eyes. “Because I didn’t call you Kook sooner? You know better than that. I walked up to you, spoke to you, told you I wanted to be with you, came here with you, told you no one is like you, that I missed you, that no one makes me—” You huffed and bit your lip; you weren’t sure about saying any more than you already had.
His eyes were glistening but his grin was almost cruel. “You don’t look so scared now.”
You frowned for a moment before you raised your chin, “No, I guess I’m not. I was until you embraced me this morning and I thought—” Your lips twitched. “But that was fake,” his eyes snapped to yours and you stood still, “right? You lied. You never missed me, so what does it matter if you called me bubbles?” You scoffed but your eyes were filling with tears again, “Why call me that if you never meant it?” You shrugged, “I have nothing to fear anymore. It’s all fucked, I don’t think it can hurt more than this.”
His jaw was clenching hard while you spoke and he walked around. You thought he looked like a ticking timebomb with his biceps rhythmically reacting to his fists opening and closing.
“Well, I fucking wish it did,” he said. “It seems like nothing I do can hurt you, can it?”
“Are you serious?”
“I’m fucking serious!”
“Do I not look hurt to you?!”
“I want you to hurt at least a fraction of what it hurts me!” He punched the couch, but your watering eyes only hurt him more. “But all I managed to do was hurt myself even more!”
“You’re hurt?” You couldn’t hide your skepticism.
“What do you think?! Fuck, you’re so fucking selfish you can’t see anything in front of your nose!”
You crossed your arms over your chest, “Happens with liars. It’s hard to distinguish—”
“Shut up!” He turned to you and you squeezed your arms for comfort. “What does it matter if I missed you? If every fucking word out of my mouth was the truth and I called you bubbles because of what you fucking mean to me? Look at you!” You were shaking now with welled-up eyes. “Acting like a fucking abandoned puppy! You left!”
“What?”
“You left! You were the one who left!”
Your heart shook and you became pale, “That was— You mean—?”
“Yes!”
“But— You—” You were so confused. “You knew I’d leave!”
“What the fuck does that matter?! You said no and you left!”
Your heart instantly halted, “That’s— That’s something else entirely—”
“Yeah, right!” You shook with the venom in his voice. “I was ready, I made my choice, and you broke my heart!”
You were shaking and gripping your hands to soothe yourself, “I wasn’t ready.”
“You said no!”
His tone was accusatory and your chin trembled as you were swamped with old feelings and memories. 
Only this time, you took a deep breath and answered back, “Listen to yourself! That day I told you I was going to the US to work for a year and you asked me to marry you! Does that make sense?!”
He had paced to his desk and as soon as you finished, he grabbed his gaming chair and threw it to the ground.
“You said no! You could have said something else! You could have said not yet or let’s talk or— I don’t know, just anything else! But you said no!!”
“Well, fuck, what was I supposed to say?! I had that job opportunity and you were going too fast!”
He sneered, “Fast?”
“Yes, fast! We weren't together for even a year yet!”
“I don't care! I fucking knew I wanted to spend my life with you! And you said no!”
“I said I love you!”
He kicked the chair on the floor, “And it wasn't enough!”
“No, it wasn't!” You stepped forward, wanting to punch something yourself. “Clearly! You’re fucking mad I said no, but what about you?! You fucking dropped off the face of the earth! You knew the dates of my contract, I forwarded the flight information to you, and you never spoke to me again! You didn’t even say goodbye!”
“What goodbye?! What bigger goodbye do you need than rejecting me when I’m on my knees for you?!”
“Stop being so fucking self-centered!” He started laughing, but you were not done. “I said I loved you. I wanted to be with you and you threw a tantrum like a child!”
“A tantrum?” He was still laughing and you’d recognise that bitterness anywhere.
“Be honest,” you breathed. “Would you have come with me?”
His laughter died. “What?”
“You heard me. And if you couldn’t, would you have waited for me?”
His eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights and you let the tears fall from your eyes.
“I never got to ask,” you continued in the silence. “You never answered me again. I always thought that your not answering was your answer. That you never wanted to see me again because if I wouldn’t marry you like you wanted, then you wanted nothing to do with me.”
He finally breathed, “That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?” You smiled and cleaned your cheeks, “Then why is that the only thing you say? That I said no? I never meant no forever, I never meant that I wouldn’t in the future. But I needed that opportunity to build my career, I needed that sacrifice from you and you turned your back on me.”
“No, I—” His mouth was opening and closing, he couldn’t find the right words. “Because— Because I thought you wanted to just— To just leave me behind.”
“Behind? As if I wasn’t leaving my heart with you? Tell me, did you ever think about asking me? About talking to me?” His lips twitched in hesitation and your lips curved painfully, “Right.”
“I wanted to,” he admitted, but you shook your head in disbelief. “I wanted to but I felt broken. You left me and rejected a future with me, you didn’t want me. What point was there in reaching out to you?”
“I wish you had. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked, but a part of me likes to believe we would have made it. One year was a long time but not the end of the world. For you, I would have done it.”
You nodded and looked at his feet for a moment. None of you would ever know now, but you believed it. You were at peace with at least having voiced that to him.
You looked up at him and saw as clear as day how lost he was. He was gripping his hair with pain across his features, maybe something else. He was still shirtless in front of you, a Greek God in all his glory, yet your eyes couldn’t abandon the soft curls of his hair. Now that everything was out there, you were sort of melancholic. You’d miss him.
“Fuck,” he dragged in a grunt. “Is this what you wanted? To find me again and break me?”
You chuckled, “What the hell are you saying? I never thought I’d see you again. And if I did, I expected to find you married to the woman of your dreams.”
He groaned and rubbed his face before facing you, “You— You’re the woman of my dreams!”
Your lips trembled but you stayed quiet; you had no idea where any of that left you.
“I can’t believe this,” he let out, then scoffed. “No, I’m in too deep now. You could have reached out too. You could have told me all this and asked me before, but instead, you just turned and left. Because you didn’t want me.”
“I called you!”
“For like two days! How long do you think it took to heal my wounded heart?”
“I don’t know! From what I’ve heard, your heart has been more than comforted, you probably healed very fast!”
“Oh fuck off,” he spat with harsh eyes. You regretted letting those feelings surface, but it was too late. “You left me after rejecting me, I was free to do whatever I wanted and screw whoever I pleased.”
“You’re right, forget I said that.”
He laughed, “Nah, that’s just you. Worried about whether I’ve been well-fed or not. Why? Thought that would make it easier?”
“What?”
“I don’t know, to get me crazy again.”
You couldn’t help your lips pulling, “I did drive you crazy.” His eyebrow twitched over a dark gaze and you quickly sobered up. “But that’s not what I meant.”
“You’re fucking incredible, you know that?” He could be spitting those words for all intents and purposes.
“No, I meant that after I called you, I took your silence as—”
“No, no, fuck that. Excuses, all of it. You saw me on my knees and butchered my heart, then left days later for another country. If you cared, you would have done more.”
“You act as if you don’t have arms and legs yourself.”
“And you act like a damsel in distress when you’re anything but,” he had neared you now and you sobered up. “I still hate you, you know.”
Your lips trembled and you looked down with a sour smile. You did realize it, but it didn’t make it any easier. “I know.”
You were focused on mapping your conversation and seeing if there was anything you could tell him that could clarify things when he scoffed.
“No, scratch that.” You looked up and saw him running his hand through his hair. “I fucking hate you and the way you just tried to bring me down to my knees again.”
“I didn’t—!”
“I hate that I brought you here 'cause I wanted to see you here, in my home, as if that could bring back what we once were. I hate that I gave you what you wanted even if it hurt. I hate that I called you bubbles as if you’re still that person. I hate— I fucking hate you, I can’t—”
His voice broke down but you had already heard too much. You couldn’t face him anymore, you were hiding under your hand as your spirit drained in the form of tears.
“I understand.” Your sight was blurry but you knew the way out. You stepped around him, “I’ll leave—”
You weren’t expecting him to grab you and crash his mouth into yours, but you didn’t fight him. You let him kiss you desperately and did the same all while the tears kept streaming down your face.
“Don’t fucking leave,” he whispered to your lips, pressing his forehead to yours. “I can’t stand the thought of you walking out. Not again.”
Your cry was uncontrollable, “But you hate me.”
His hands were firm around your head, not letting you move away, and the only sound you both could hear was you trying to control your sobs. It broke him to see you cry, it always did. He didn’t know what to do. No matter how hard he tried, there was this poison inside him that gushed out every time. It was all breaking apart again, and he wanted everything to go to hell, but looking at you, he knew that wasn’t true.
You sniffled, “If you hate me and I love you then we're not on the same page.”
His heart shook like his world could crumble at any moment. “Don't leave.”
“I have to,” you grabbed his arms and accepted it. “So you can find the woman of your dreams.”
“You’re the woman of my dreams.”
You chuckled sadly, “You hate me, Kook. You’ll find someone better, trust me.”
“No, I don’t want anyone else.”
You brushed his cheek, committing that sweet touch to memory. “You’ll be happy. It’s okay.”
“No,” he gripped you firmly, wrapping his arms around your waist instead. “Don’t leave.”
“Why would I stay?”
“Because I don’t hate you. I can’t,” his voice trembled with tears that didn’t flow down his cheeks, but down yours. “I hate myself for not being able to, for pretending, for even trying when I’m so—”
His voice blocked and you reached for him. “Say it… Please say it, don’t hold back,” your plea shook in your voice and you gripped his shoulders tighter. “If you don’t say it, then I won't know what to believe anymore—”
“Fuck,” he closed his eyes, fighting to the last moment all those conflicting emotions within him. But then you nuzzled his nose, holding him closer. Waiting. You weren’t leaving this time until everything was said and done, and he almost burst it out. “I can’t. I can’t hate you, I love you. I could never forget you but you left me behind and I fucking hated everything. Because I love you, because I lost you, because I was lost and I still am. What the fuck do I do?”
“I’m here.”
“No, you’re not.” He moved away and forced himself to take a deep breath. He turned to you, “You’ll walk out again. I fucked up. We fucked up, but I fucked up. Right? I spent a year trying to hate you, loathing myself for not being good enough. For being so sure you were the one while you discarded me so easily like I was worthless, but I never bothered to hear your side. I never bothered to ask you. You broke my heart… but I broke yours too.”
Your chin was trembling, but you didn’t near him. He seemed to need the space.
“I’m sorry.” He hid his face at your words and your tears treaded down again. “I’m so sorry if I hurt you, I was stupid and immature, and you’re right. I knew my heart was staying here with you, I should have tried to reach out and make it clearer. I knew I hurt you, and after I left, I knew you'd hate me. I should have gotten over myself and told you how I felt anyway. Then maybe I wouldn’t have tried to look for you in everyone else or stayed hung up on thoughts of you and—” He chuckled but it was laced with pain and you shook your hands, “No, I’m not blaming you!”
“I know,” he revealed his face, with red swollen eyes, and wet cheeks. “I’m blaming myself. I spent so long trying to hate you, blaming you for everything under the sun in stupid attempts to make it hurt less. I’m an idiot. And an asshole. Look at how I treated you. I can’t face you without hating my fucking stupidity—”
“Ours,” you stepped forward, hesitant to touch him but with your hands raised nonetheless. “If you want to hate something, then—”
He grabbed your hand and pulled you in, “I won’t pretend to hate you anymore.”
“Then don’t hate yourself either,” you asked as he took your hand to his lips.
“I’ll try… since it’s you asking.”
Your lips trembled into a smile at the way he was gently brushing his lips to your hand. “I’m happy we talked about it. I’m happy to hear that you still have feelings for me though I wouldn’t want to assume—”
“Assume.”
You stayed quiet, hesitantly looking into his brown eyes as he sprinkled kisses on your knuckles.
“Jungkook—”
“Assume, bubbles.” You pressed your trembling lips and he brushed your cheek with the back of his fingers, “Assume that I love you and don’t want you to leave.”
Your heart was shaking; you were hoping, but— “Are you sure?”
He closed his eyes for a moment, “I’m sure. I just don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t want to hurt you, but there’s so much we need to talk about.”
His eyes were pleading and you squeezed his hand, “If you could forgive me, that would be a great start.”
He sighed, “I don’t think that’s the problem.”
“Yourself?”
“Slightly more complicated.”
You smiled, “Same.” You stayed quiet just looking at each other when you decided to tell him, “I wish we could… forgive our mistakes and restart. We could get to know each other again. See if… If it would work.”
“You don’t think it would?”
You supported his hand on your cheek, “I think we still love each other.” He held your gaze and you felt your cheeks burning under his touch, “But maybe that also means it will be difficult to heal our wounds.”
He nodded calmly, observing your face. “Do you… hate me? For what I did? For never replying to you or fighting for you.”
“No,” you instantly reassured him. “I thought you made a decision and that you wanted to move on from me. That’s a rejection, but that's life. You didn’t cheat or lie or anything like that.”
He sighed, “That’s true… maybe that’s why I could never truly hate you either.”
You couldn’t help a smile, “We… We’re both idiots.”
He wrapped his arm around your waist closer, “A mistake. It was all a mistake.” He pursed his lips for a moment, then brushed your hair gently behind your ear, “Your ‘no’... you never meant forever?”
You grinned, “No. Though I don't need a ring around my finger to know who I belong to. Do you?”
“Who do you belong to?”
You smirked playfully, “I think you know him.”
He sighed and let you brush your fingers around his neck in an attempt to tickle him before lacing your arms around his neck.
“I would have waited,” he finally said, seeing closely how your smile wavered and your eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t drop everything to go with you, but I would have definitely made it work and visited you whenever I could.”
Your lips trembled and you tried to contain your cry, but your tears won. He pulled you to hide in the crook of his neck and you squeezed him inside your arms.
“Are you… going back?” He realized he didn’t know. “Or are you staying? In Seoul?”
“I got a position here, I’m starting next month.”
He sighed in relief. “I want to try,” his voice was close as he supported your head and leaned over your ear. “Us. I want to try.”
Shivers ran down your spine as you pressed him to you. “Me too.”
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